#they also had glow in the dark dinosaur skeletons

[shootingstarpilot]

thank you, friend!! i do, very much, and i treated myself to some badly-needed new bedding as a treat to celebrate- they're PLANETS! and they GLOW IN THE DARK! and my chest still hurts a wee bit but overall i got very lucky and now i have new bedding that is not an ominously stained duvet from goodwill!

[ashintheairlikesnow]

I have a few statements to/ for a few of your OCs if you don’t mind!

To Chris: I just bought some off brand converse-like shoes that have dinosaur skeletons on them! They are so perfect and make me so happy, I think of Chris every time I look down at them!

To Chris and Jameson: It really sucks that both of your (I hate to use this term but this is what was used throughout the stories so it’s what I’m sticking with) owners died! I mean obviously that sucks much more for Jameson than it does Chris but we saw how much the news of Oliver’s death hurt Chris. I more or less ruined my own day thinking of Chris confiding in Jameson his complicated emotions regarding his passing. Like Jake’s reaction was totally appropriate and I think Jameson would have a similar one at first but also considering his own feelings when his “him” died. So yeah, I’ll just be over here sobbing in the corner at my own imagination if anyone needs me🥲✌️

To Jameson/Johnathan: please tell me that his and Hank’s last fight was not about that girl. Also please don’t tell me that Johnathan had something to do with Hank losing her number. As the younger bi sibling, I have actually ended up with one of my older siblings dates, and even though it was amicable at the time, if it did become an issue, and it was one of our last conversations, I could never get over that.

To future late 30’s Kauri: ENJOY THAT BATH ROBE AND EARLY BED TIME! That and your loving husbands companies are so much more meaningful than anything a night out could offer! I’m so proud of how far he’s come!

That’s all I can think of now but I very well may be back with more later! 🤠🫶

Oh as a bonus, this is for you, Ash: Thank you so much for the dedication to your characters and storylines, and backgrounds and world building. You are truly an amazing writer and you got some stones on you for actually posting it. I’m a pretty good writer too but I get screen fright and never end up posting, so I appreciate your bravery that allows us as your readers to enjoy and participate in the awesome world you have created.

<3 thank you anonnnn I struggle with imposter syndrome, so I totally get the fear of posting! I hope you try it out in the future, as the feedback and conversation has been really invaluable to me over the past few years.

For the Chris bit about shoes - Chris has those, too! If they're the same. From TOMS, black with colorful skeletons? He has those. He also has black and white ones where the bones glow in the dark.

For the combined Chris and Jameson bit: I think that Jameson would understand Chris's mix of affection and loathing really well, but struggle to express it. He really did LOVE Nanda, especially towards the end, but he also hated him sometimes, and so I think he could get that. But he was never afraid of Nanda the way Chris was afraid of Oliver. But I also think it would be a hard conversation and Jameson would probably eventually get angry and upset Chris and then it would turn into a big old angsty mess.

For the Jameson bit:

It wasn't about that girl! Jameson would tell you it was stupider than that. It was genuinely just the two of them being drunk and arguing about going home. Hank wanted to leave right then, Jameson wanted to hit up another bar. They fought about it, went their separate ways, and never saw each other again. And no, Jameson didn't lose her number - Hank just misplaced it. They found the note folded into a small scrap in his wallet when his body was located.

Kauri has never slept so well in his LIFE. Other than needing all of his pillows to be perfectly arranged, and sometimes he sleeps funny and then his neck hurts all day...

[technovirtual]

What Lies Beneath the Surface of the Ocean?

Scientists recently found a warty sea sponge and an octopus that is warty. Fostoria was a founding member of the group that eventually transformed into the stunningly top-skinned duckbill dinosaurs, which were popular throughout North America and Asia toward the end of dinosaur time. The Lost City of Atlantis The city of Atlantis is merely a legend, or as most scientists think. The mythical Atlantis of Plato's poems sank towards the end of the final Ice Age, when sea levels rose quickly. Researchers may have discovered the real Atlantis under the surface of the ocean of today. A study published April 23 in Quaternary Science Reviews reveals that a portion of the continental shelf near Australia used to be home to lakes, rivers, archipelagos and even a large ocean that was inland. The sunken area has been discovered to have tools made of stone, and research has shown that humans resided in this region. This research relies on the sonar mapping of a region that was exposed 70,000 yrs ago during the Pleistocene period in which sea levels fell due to glaciation. The modern Australian coastline used to connect the mainland of Australia with Papua New Guinea, Tasmania and Papua New Guinea. It was the home of a wide variety of animals and plants, including the duck-billed platypus - featured on the country's 20 cent coin--and the various species of echidna. The Earth's Crust In the case of Earth's evolution, rocks can provide clues. This is why scientists are thrilled about a new discovery discovered in the Western Australian region's Jack Hills. This 100,000-square-kilometer region holds a sliver of protocrust that's believed to date back four billion years, from the time when our planet transitioned from a hellish landscape to one capable of supporting life. Researchers have analyzed the tiny sliver of rock by using lasers to evaporate zircon particles and measure their light oxygen isotopic ratio. This is known as d18O. This isotopic variation reveals how hot the rock was at the time of its creation. The variations between different samples of zircon from different places can provide insight into local temperatures. The d18O results from the Australian zircon grains showed that the area was subjected to major changes in the climate around 4 billion years ago. The meteorite bombardment decreased, the crust stabilised, and life began to develop. When compared to other data shows that a number of regions of the world experienced similar timings for the formation of crust and preservation. A stunning New Species of Sea Creature A sea creature in pink swimming through a riverside Australian park was the initial clue. It was covered in a striped shell, a distinctive coloration, and appeared different from any of the other sea slugs in the area. The researchers conducted an analysis of DNA to determine the possibility of a new species. The Investigator team spotted a lot of other incredible creatures. There is a huge jellyfish-like siphonophore dubbed Apolemia that is floating in the ocean and hangs a curtain of tentacles with stings on its body. Small fish or crustaceans that swim in the tentacles get paralyzed before being pulled towards its body. Other discoveries of the Investigator include squat lobsters sporting knobby skeletons and deep-sea coral that glows when it's dark. There's also a fish known as a hermaphrodite fish, which has both male and female reproductive organs, but oddly it only has one set of reproductive organs at the same time. It's also known as the "Yoda fish" because its eyes look like the eyes of the Star Wars character. The first remains of a Tyrannosaurus That Stalked the Southern Hemisphere

Scientists have discovered evidence the first time of an tyrannosaur, or "tyrant-lizard" which was a common sight on the continents of the south of the planet. Scientists have found fossils of the tyrannosaur from the northern hemisphere. They thought they had never made it to the southern continents following the separation of continents. However, a distinct hip bone unearthed in Victoria, Australia, reveals the existence of a pint-sized predator dubbed Thanatotheristes degrootorum. Although just a quarter of the size of the legendary Tyrannosaurus rex, this reptile was a fierce hunter that lived in the region of 110 million years ago. Roger Benson of Cambridge University in England believes that tyrannosaurs of these sizes were all over the place in the beginning of Cretaceous. They could have even been the ancestors of T. Rex, which ruled the world until its disappearance 70 million years ago. These tiny tyrannosaurs may have eaten insects and lizards. But once they reached full growth they became the world's largest meat-eating creatures capable of consuming the bones of other dinosaurs. Watch the YouTube video

[hepaliensterekrecs]

Sterek AU Fic Rec

Special Instructions by @trilliath [G, 1.6k]

Human AU, Different First Meeting AU

The pizza place Stiles works at gets an odd prompt for their Special Instructions: Send your cutest delivery boy.

Nothing Like the Sun by @halffizzbin [T, 1.6k]

Human AU, Writer Derek, Fluff, Pining, Oblivious, Humor, First Kiss

“Your eyes, blue and bright / Like Mountain Frost Gatorade,” Stiles reads aloud, not bothering to contain his glee. “Now that is powerful stuff. Oh, but this next line is my favorite: Your skin, warm and soft / As an underbaked loaf of bread. Bread, Derek? Really?”

(Or, the one where Derek is a failtastic poet and Stiles is the editor who likes him anyway.)

Dammit, Gym by @aggybird [G, 1.8k]

Teacher AU, Human AU, Humor

Derek the gym teacher asks Stiles the music teacher for a favor.

Nailed It by @aggybird [T, 2.1k]

Different First Meeting AU, Humor, Deputy Derek, Still Werewolves

Deputy Derek Hale bought a fixer-upper, but he's pretty bad at fixing, so he hires a snarky carpenter to help him out.

more under the cut

You Had Me At Latte Batman by Hatteress @goddammitstacey [T, 2.1k]

Coffee Shop AU, Writer Stiles, Oblivious

The one where Derek’s a barista who accidentally woos Stiles with latte art.

Put That Wolf Back Where It Came From (or so help me!) by Jerakeen @jerakeenc [T, 2.8k]

Monsters Inc AU, Crack

"There there, you poor monster, you."

Something’s Telling Me to Leave but I Won’t by starswalkbackward @officiallallorona [T, 3.2k]

Human AU, Different First Meeting AU, Deputy Derek, Humor

In 2nd grade, Nicki Welch told Stiles Stilinski that his plaid shirt and Spiderman graphic tee looked stupid. He responded by looking pointedly at her stomach and saying that bloodsucking hookworms were inside about 700 million people.

She cried for two hours, and Ms. Briar made him go to the quiet chair. “One day, your mouth is really going to get you into trouble!” she’d scolded with a wagging finger.

Stiles contemplates those words as his dad’s new deputy hauls him into the station.

He’s still totally going to blame Scott for the situation, though.

dust off your highest hopes by takeittothestars @alphaass [T, 3.9k]

Human AU

For this prompt from Niamh:

"Yes I know we all love the pretend-boyfriends trope but why aren’t there 100 more stories of Derek or Stiles pretending to be someone else’s pretend boyfriend and the other getting really fucking jealous about it - because one-night-stands are one thing but seeing someone they’ve been in denial about crushing on act all affectionate and boyfriendly with someone they’re comfortable around is a new brand of hell.

Like Erica taking Derek to her high school reunion as a little fuck-you to all the idiots who never noticed her, or Lydia recruiting Stiles to some smart people convention still stuck in the Dark Ages and only taking men’s research seriously, so she uses the most convenient boy in her life as a gateway to get in there and shame all the closed-minded assholes.

Like of course it’s all pretend but they’re a little TOO good at acting it out and then whoever isn’t in on it is at the hotel bar angrily ordering ice cream sundaes and looking for someone to hit on to take their mind off it and failing miserably.

WHY ISNT THERE MORE?"

Everybody Make a Scene by skoosiepants @pantstomatch [G, 4.5k]

Neighbors AU, Alive Hales AU, Still Werewolves

Stiles starts out with three jack-o-lanterns in front of their modest little pack house, but when he sees Derek staple-gunning orange lights around the entire front of their porch, he comes home with a six foot dinosaur skeleton with glowing red eyes.

No one actually hangs Halloween lights unless they’re going to war.

Or-

Stiles and Derek have some kind of unspoken Halloween decorating competition that also involves baked goods and flirting.

Void ab initio by Leslie_Knope @leslieknopeismyshiningstar [E, 4.6k]

Human AU, Fluff, Smut

Tumblr prompt: “We were best friends in middle school and promised (signed a contract and all) if neither of us were in a relationship when we turn 30, we’d marry each other. You moved 5 years later and I haven’t seen you since but you just reached out on my 30th birthday to find out if I’m single. Minors can’t be held to contracts but puberty hit you like a truck and I just broke up with my long term boyfriend a month ago so what the hell I might as well catch up with you.”

A Single Magic Bullet by The Feels Whale @miscellea [G, 4.7]

College AU, Magic AU, Werewolves Are Known AU, Magic Stiles

It’s Stiles last week before graduation and it seems like everything is going wrong. Between Scott finding True Love, werewolf kidnapping rings, sadistic professors, and his final projects, it’s not like Stiles doesn’t have plenty on his plate… but he’s a Stilinski and Stilinskis deal with it. Fortunately there’s a new lycanthrope on campus who seems amenable to pulling his bacon out of the fire.

(Now if only Stiles could figure out why he keeps waking up with his window open, that would be just peachy.)

too long to the weekend by DizzyRedhead @dizzy-redhead [E, 5.3k]

College AU, Werewolves Are Known AU, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Smut

When Derek agreed to show Stiles around Berkeley, he was thinking of Stiles at fifteen, his childhood friend, the son of his mother's best friend.

He was not prepared for Stiles, all grown up.

be my dar(jee)ling by takeittothestars @alphaass [M, 5.4k]

Tea Shop AU, Human AU, Derek POV, Humor, Fluff

‘You alright there? Need any help?’ someone from behind him says, and Derek startles badly from where he’s been judging the tea (Cardamom with ginger for Sherlock Holmes? And almonds for Jack Harkness? Really?). The person laughs when he knocks over a few tins, and Derek knows that laugh. Sure enough, he looks up as he puts Moriartea back on the shelf and it’s Stiles fucking Stilinski, #24 on the lacrosse team and captain of Derek’s heart since he dropped Cora off at a game once, the cutest, hottest thing on the planet since – since – since ever, if Derek’s honest with himself.

-

A tea shop AU in which Derek is an editor, Stiles works in a tea shop, both are dumb, and there is tea. For this prompt

Game On by stilinskisparkles @stileshale [T, 6.4k]

College AU, Oblivious, Pining, Nerd Stiles, Jock Derek

Derek first sees him from across the quad four days into fall semester. He’s sitting on one of the long benches, a marker pen in his mouth, grinning at something the kid lounging on the bench beside him is saying. When he laughs properly he pulls the pen out and throws his head back, his neck a long, lean line Derek is entranced by. He flicks the page in his book and highlights something, tossing the cap up in the air and catching it with his teeth.

Simple Math by lizzstomania [G, 6.7k]

Human AU, College AU, Coffee Shop AU, Angst, Fluff

"It's just math, Derek. It's me and you; it’s not rocket science and it's not Shakespeare. It's basic arithmetic and you, for some ungodly reason, never bothered to learn to add."

Sideways and Slantways and Longways and Backways by @hologramophone [T, 7.8k]

Human AU, Office AU, Fluff, Pining, Repression

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!”

Derek raised an eyebrow at him.

“That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress.

Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.”

(Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

(im)Perfect System by theroguesgambit @halekingsourwolf [T, 7.9k]

Soulmate AU, Alive Hales AU, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Angst

Stiles has always felt pretty lucky about his soul mark. After all, how many conversations tend to start with “This is private property”?

(Apparently more than you'd think.)

In the Next Room series by twentysomething [E, 7.9k]

Cis Girl Stiles AU, Still Werewolves

"But for some reason, when Stiles sees Derek talking to Lydia, the two of them painfully good-looking, all she can think about is that her hair is in a messy ponytail and there's pizza sauce on the hem of her t-shirt. It's not like she wants to go on a montage out of a '90s teen film and come out like Rachel Leigh Cook on a staircase, but Stiles maybe thinks she doesn't want to look like the homeless one in the pack."

CSI: Beacon Hills by Jerakeen @jerakeenc [T, 8.2k]

Different First Meeting AU, CSI AU, Still Werewolves, Deputy Derek, Hurt/Comfort, Mates, Protective Derek, Oblivious Stiles

Back when Stiles was in high school Beacon Hills didn't have a crime lab, because they simply didn't need one. Those were the days.

Dog’s Best Friends by otter [G, 8.9k]

Different First Meeting AU, Fluff

Other people might have found the name of the place off-putting. Stiles didn’t. He was actually relieved, when Scott handed him a business card that said “HALEHOUNDS” across the top, because clearly, if anybody could recognize and understand the evil that lurked within his dog’s fluffy precious body, it was these people.

covalent bonds series by @halffizzbin [E, 9.2k]

(All in) High School AU, Human AU, Alive Hales AU, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Jock Stiles, Nerd Derek

Awkward Nerd Derek has been crushing on Handsome Jock Stiles since forever—so getting paired with him on a Chemistry project is definitely the best/worst thing that's ever happened to him.

Love Runs Wild by @devildoll [E, 9.5k]

P/rnstar AU, Still Werewolves, Possessive, Marking, Neckz ‘n Throats

"You've got a hickey on the back of your neck!" A Neckz 'n Throats story.

Last Lovesong of a Dying Lemon by wldnst [M, 10.4k]

Human AU, Mechanic Derek

Stiles' Jeep keeps breaking down. Derek is a mechanic.

Putting the F-U-N in Funeral by apocryphal @the-apocrypha [T, 10.8k]

Human AU, Alive Hales AU, Bakery AU, Fluff, Humor

"Hale & Daughters Funeral Home," Derek says dully.

"Oh ho! And which daughter are you?"

Derek casts his eyes up to the ceiling. It's going to be one of those calls.

(In which Derek is a bored secretary, Stiles is a baker who may or may not have ulterior motives, and there are entirely too many macaroons.)

Unmapped by Jerakeen @jerakeenc [E, 11.4k]

Sentinels AU, Soul Bond, Hurt/Comfort

Stiles can never leave a good mystery alone.

Chances Are… series by @relanafanel [T, 11.6k]

Human AU, Alive Hales AU, Bets

“What kind of bet did you lose that you have to go out with this?” the guy asked, gesturing to himself.

“First person to flirt with me,” Derek grumbled.

even a bad cup of coffee (is better than no coffee at all) by @vlieger [E, 13.5k]

College AU, Coffee Shop AU, Different First Meeting AU, Werewolf Reveal

AU where Derek and Laura stay in New York and open a coffee shop after the fire, and Stiles meets them when he moves there for college.

First Impressions Are Overrated by Leslie_Knope @leslieknopeismyshiningstar [T, 14.6k]

Different First Meeting AU, Kid Fic, POV Stiles, Single Parent Derek, Werewolf Reveal, Fluff

In Stiles’ defense, he didn’t deliberately ram his grocery cart into the (evidently precarious) pyramid of oranges.

Around the Bend by lupinus, uraneia [E, 14.9k]

Alive Hales AU, Different First Meeting AU, Gym AU, Fluff, Crack, First Time, Misunderstandings

The first time Derek catches sight of the new yoga instructor, Stiles is in the middle of showing a class how to do downward-facing dog. Derek walks into a wall.

Things don’t exactly improve from there.

Derek can't stop staring at Stiles, the bendy new yoga instructor at his family's gym. Stiles thinks Derek's a repressed homophobe who hates Stiles for making him want the D. They fall in love.

Fireman Derek’s Crazy Pie [Cheeseburger Baby] by owlpostagain @thegloryof [T, 17.7k]

College AU, Human AU, Everyone Lives AU, Bakery AU, Fluff, Oblivious, Fireman Derek

“He can't blame me for the fact that I live in a building full of people united in the singular effort to ogle Hot Fireman as often as humanly possible."

Laura laughs, loud and echoing in the empty restaurant.

"Hot firemen can make a girl do crazy things," she agrees, nodding towards her brother's name on the menu. "Derek won't let me date anyone from his company, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the eye candy."

"Send them my way," Stiles suggests, finally loading up a forkful of pie. "Apparently I'm incompetent enough that I need to be babysat at all times, because it would be cheaper than dispatching a truck every time I try to use a kitchen appliance."

Binomial Coefficients by @devildoll [T, 20.8k]

(All in) High School AU, Nerd Stiles, Jock Derek

In which brainy freshman Stiles Stilinski wants star quarterback Derek Hale to join the math team, AKA math nerds in love.

In Which Stiles is Secretly Magic series by apocryphal @the-apocrypha [T, 27.6k]

(All in) High School AU, Alive Hales AU, Magic Stiles

All Stiles wants from life is to learn to control his magic, keep his grades up, and not die horribly while saving Beacon Hills from supernatural threats. It's all going pretty well until Derek Hale, werewolf extraordinaire, has to go and ask him on a date. That asshole.

DILF by twentysomething [E, 30.9k]

Human AU, Kid Fic, Single Parent Derek, Teacher Stiles

"Today is Scott's first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified."

Murder, He Wrote by @mklutz [E, 31.7k]

Human AU, Alive Hales AU, Deputy Derek, Murder Mystery, Writer Stiles

And that was how Stiles accidentally became a New York Times bestselling author.

Losers by stilinkskisparkles @stileshale [E, 34.2k]

College AU, Oblivious

Where Derek is new to college, eager to spend his time learning, and Stiles is everything he didn't want in a room mate. He's loud, he's into sports, and he keeps trying to make Derek do things.

Or, the one where Derek falls for a jock, Erica will cut you if you disturb her studying, and Jackson is a closeted romantic who pretends to hate everything.

My Taco Sparkles by @butyoureyessaidyes [T, 36.9k]

Human AU, Office AU, Alive Laura, Hurt/Comfort

The first time he sees Stiles Stilinski, the kid’s on his hands and knees in Derek’s office.

--

Or the one where Derek has to battle corporate espionage, meddling family members, clothing turned choking hazards, and inappropriate feelings for his obscenely attractive new intern.

When You’re Close I Feel the Sparks by Leslie_Knope @leslieknopeismyshiningstar [M, 39.7k]

(All in) High School AU, Alive Hales AU, Magic Stiles, Emissary Stiles, BAMF Stiles, Friends to Lovers, Werewolf Reveal

The guy is hot as hell, sure—leather jacket and glasses, Jesus, be still Stiles' poor, bisexual, beating heart—but more importantly, it must really suck being new on the first day of senior year.

“We’re adopting him,” he decides, tugging Scott and Kira by the elbow in that direction. “Let’s go.”

Exactly Like You by Jerakeen @jerakeenc [M, 70.5k]

A/B/O AU, Pride & Prejudice Fusion, Werewolves Are Known, Pack Fic, Soul Bond, Magic Stiles

“It was Jackson’s idea,” Lydia explains, looking perfectly serious while standing in front of a March Madness bracket of Beacon Hills’ eligible bachelors.

Jackson looks smug. “It only makes sense.”

Stiles meets Isaac’s eyes over the heads of all the crazy people in the room. Isaac shrugs with a slight wince. “’Tis the season.”

play it again series by @metisket [T, 74.7k]

Everyone Lives AU, Magic Stiles

In which Stiles goes along with one of Derek’s plans and ends up in an alternate universe as a result. He should’ve known better. He did know better, actually, and that means he has no one to blame but himself.

“Laura wants to lure the kid in with food and kindness and make a pet of him, like a feral cat. Derek wants to have him arrested for stalking. They’re at an impasse. (And the rest of the family is staying emphatically out of it in a way that suggests bets have been placed.)”

Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by @zosofi [E, 84k]

Alive Hales AU, Fake Relationship, Humor, Romance, Crack, Magic Stiles

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis @dsudis [M, 116.7k]

Beauty and the Beast Fusion, Pack Fic, Wolf Derek, Slow Burn

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)

[passport-guardian-benrey]

Comic' nightmares

A story written with @neon--nightmare as Fresh, about 11 Year old Comic having a nightmare and Fresh having to deal with that

---------------------------------------------------

Comic woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, their breathing is a bit uneven, they're shaking and tears are streaming down their cheekbones, they tried wiping them away, after that they found their glasses and got out of bed, the small skeleton slowly went towards Fresh' room

In the pitch blackness, Fresh creaked one eye open wearily, his single pupil setting a faint white glow across his face. The parasite sat up and rubbed his eyes, not bothering to reach for his shades for now. He’d just been fast asleep, dreamless, for once, so he couldn’t imagine what had woken him up, but... Fresh had an inkling as to why, and he usually trusted his instincts.

Silently, Fresh stood up, lifting his glasses from his beside, and slipping them on as he went. He opened his door, took a step... and quite literally bumped into Comic, catching himself by surprise.

”C-brah?”

Comic looked up at him, They look scared, they wiped the tears from their face again, "I-I . . ." They started crying more.

Fresh mentally froze. He’d had a sense something was wrong with Comic, but... Crying??? He didn’t know how to deal with crying! But, obviously Comic wasn’t hurt, so... Yeah, never mind, not actually bad. Fresh crouched down on one knee, casting his mind back to what he’d seen other people do on TV.

”Hey... What’s wrong, lil broski? Somethin’ happenin wit’ ya?”

"I-I h-had a n-nightm-mare . . ." Comic said it while wiping their tears again, their voice was cracking.

”Shhh, shhh.” Fresh wiped a tear off Comic’s cheek, and flicked it away.

”It’s aight, C-dawg, I’m here, I’m here. Ya know it ain’t... Real, yeah? No point ta worryin’ all up about things that ain’t gonna happen.” Of course, Fresh neglected to mention his own nightmares, and how he sometimes snapped awake in a cold sweat, silently heaving for air. That was dumb, and hey, it wasn’t real! Fresh trusted Comic as much as he was capable of, but he still wasn’t in the habit of giving out his... ‘weaknesses’ all willy-nilly.

Suddenly Comic hugged Fresh, hiding their face in Fresh' clothes, "Th-they h-hurt me a-again . . . it h-hurt s-so m-much . . ." They're still shaking.

Fresh frowned, the letters on his glasses flickering briefly, before he wrapped his arms around Comic in turn, rubbing his back. Yeah, this may have been... more than he’d signed up for.

”Hey, hey. Dey ain’t here any more, lil brah. ‘S just you an me, yo! Jus’ all up Fresh an’ Comic, see! Nobody else here.” He went to rub Comic’s head, and thought better of it at the last moment; yeah, if he still thought his bullies were in the house with him, best not to go near the wound they left. Fresh felt a slight twinge in his gut, at that, but shoved it away.

”’Ey, I got a RADICAL idea, homeslice!! How ‘bout we all up go on a walk o’ da place, just ta up an PROVE dey ain’t here?? An’, ya know, even if some unfresh burglar-brah is here ta steal all ya snacks, I’M here ta protect ya~!!” He grinned down at Comic, lifting up his shades with one hand to give a wink.

"O-okay . . ." Comic is trying to calm down, they're still a bit shaky

In one swift movement, Fresh scooped Comic up in his arms, bridal-style, and his grin widened. ”C’mon, C-dawg, lead da way! Where ya wanna go first?”

After a brief moment, he added, ”We can walk an’ talk at da same time, by da way. If ya want~!”

Comic flinched a bit when they were picked up, "B-back to m-my r-room f-for now . . ."

That caught Fresh a bit off guard for a moment, but he managed to mask it quickly, barely letting a shred of surprise cross his face.

”Aiiight, back ta da room it is!! You’re da bus driver here, ya ridin’ on da FRESH EXPRESS! <3” And with that, still carrying the smaller skeleton, Fresh skipped his way back to Comic’s room, oblivious to Comic’s discomfort.

Comic is holding onto him, when they entered the room, the small skeleton looked around and wanted to be put down when they saw their scarf

Fresh set Comic down gently, still keeping a close eye on him. ”Dere ya go, lil brah, go get it. Ya feelin’ any better now?”

Comic took the scarf and wrapped it around their neck, then they went back to Fresh, "a little b-bit . . ." They're not crying anymore, but they are still a bit shaky

”PERFECT, yo!!! Hold on a sec~!” Fresh scooped up Comic once more, then looked around.

”Ya still want dat house tour, or d’ya just wanna up an crash here fo’ now? Ya look MAD wiped out, lil broski.”

"We c-could go around . . ." Comic then yawned quietly

”Ya wish is mah command, yo! Maybe I can, hmm...” Fresh trailed off for a moment, thinking. Then he walked over to Comic’s bed, snatching a pillow off and positioning it in the crook of his arm, so the other skeleton had somewhere that wasn’t bone to lay his head.

”Lil cozier now?”

Comic put their head on the pillow, "y-yeah . . ."

”BAM, SLEEPYTIME CENTRAL!!!” Fresh grinned excitedly, completely ignoring the irony of how loud he usually talked.

”So... Are ya thirsty, huh? Wit’ all dat cryin’, I’m surprised ya ain’t all lookin up like a piece o’ dried jerky right now, ah hahaha!” Fresh beamed at his own joke, the YOLO on his shades glowing slightly in the dark.

Comic chuckled quietly at the joke, "I c-could drink something . . ."

”Rad!!! Hold on just a sec, homedawg, we gonna get HYDRATED up in here!!!” Fresh nestled him closer and headed off in the direction of the kitchen, more slowly this time.

”Now, I ain’t all sure what time it is an’ junk, so I ain’t sure if it’s early enough in da mornin’ fo’ breakfast... I know some peeps up an’ chug warm milk ta get ‘emselves ta sleep an all dat, how’s it soundin’ ta ya? Plus, ya get dat sicknasty CALCIUM in ya diet!! Wicked strong BONES, yo, ya gonna be liftin’ towers in no time!!” Fresh was mostly talking to fill the silence, people did that, right? They’ve gotten this far already, no point in letting Comic’s mind wander back to his nightmares.

"It sounds nice . . ." Comic is rather calm now, they closed their eyesockets

Fresh chuckled softly, pulling up to the kitchen. Balancing Comic steadily, making sure there was as little jostling as possible, Fresh poured the skeleton a cup of milk, kicking the fridge shut and popping the half-full mug into the microwave. Hey, he didn’t want Comic to spill it on either of their clothes on the way back!

The gentle whirring of the microwave filled the quiet kitchen as they waited for the beep, a warm orange light washing over the two. Comic’s eyes were closed, but Fresh continued to smile down at him. It’d be so easy to just possess him like this, with his guard down... But, no, there was no point in it yet. This whole debacle would go a long way in gaining Comic’s trust, Fresh was willing to bet, and that was more than useful enough to justify the work he’d went through.

Besides, he’d gathered a lot of information... Namely that, yes, the incident continued to affect him deeply, something that Fresh already knew - but it was very interesting to see the extent of how deeply. It wasn’t often the parasite had a front seat to this sort of thing... And to see how Fresh was the first one Comic went to for comfort was hilarious, considering the reason Fresh had stuck around in the first place! There were so many possibilities... But, no, he wouldn’t play his hand too soon. He wanted to see where this was going, first! And all the things that trust could lead to...

The microwave dinged, jolting Fresh out of his thoughts. He gently eased the door open and pulled the steaming mug out with one hand, nudging Comic gently. ”Ya still awake in dere, lil brah...? Milk’s up!”

Comic looked at him, they're a bit sleepy

”Aw... Nothin’? Well, I guess da milk can wait a lil. Dey call it WARM milk, not steamin’ milk, after all~!”

Still holding both the mug and Comic, Fresh turned heel and headed back to the bedroom, making sure none of the liquid sloshed out as they went. When they arrived, Fresh gently plopped his cargo down onto the bed, leaving the mug on the nightstand and tucking Comic in. Once that was done, Fresh plopped down next to him, the mattress creaking slightly under the sudden weight.

”All tucked in, an’ wit’ somethin’ ta drink when ya wake up!! How ya feelin’ now, lil homie?” Fresh grinned, obviously proud of himself and his handiwork.

"better . . . Thank you" Comic smiled slightly at him

”Haha... No problem, C-slice. Ya can always count on me, aight~?” Fresh had been planning to leave and wait for Comic to call him back, but he thought better of it; instead, he climbed into bed next to Comic, tucking himself in and placing his shades safely besides him. The other skeleton had seen the parasite many times without his glasses, after all, though, luckily, never asked why his “eyelight” was cracked like that.

Also, Fresh hadn’t had the time to change out of his pajamas in the first place, so it was perfect! Who said that only kids could wear dinosaur-patterned sleep pants? Nobody, that’s who. Fresh sighed and nestled himself in, closing his eyes - although, if anything happened, he was always a light sleeper. For now, though, he highly doubted Comic could do any harm to him... and with that, Fresh was out.

Comic looked at Fresh, they decided to cuddle up to him, they closed their eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

[fishoutofcamelot]

I enjoy seeing other people be happy about simple things and the fact that you get excited over cutting things with scissors makes me feel happier than I can explain I wish you the best in continuing to find joy in the mundane. May the smallest things bring you happiness

Well in that case, here is a list of insanely mundane things that fill me with an irrational amount of joy:

Stapling, cutting and paper-clipping pieces of paper together

Writing the number 7 or 0, or the letter Z, since i have a lot of fun adding the little extra dash through the middle of all of those

Hugging!!!! I hug my mom an absurd amount of times every day, and if i had more friends irl i would probably hug them a whole bunch too. Just physical contact in general makes my entire brain light up like a gender reveal party gone wrong

Seeing an Icee machine. Drinking Icees. I have, on many occasions, squealed very loudly and gone all hand-flappy upon purchasing a blue raspberry Icee. Theyre just so good, Yall

The number 69. This is self-explanatory

Wearing my checkered oil-spill-pattern shoes. Theyre so SHINY

Looking at my new bedsheets! And my new pillowcases! And my rainbow blanket! Just...laying in my colorful bed

Opening a new roll of quarters at work

Novelty socks! I have a drawer exclusively dedicated to knee-highs with silly patterns (my favorite being a pair with dinosaurs wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards)

Anything brightly colored makes me very excited

These microwavable sticky rice bowls i get from Costco, they are AWESOME. Or really just rice in general, but the sticky rice bowl things in particular make me inordinately happy

Wearing my leather jacket. Freakin love that thing

Wearing my glow-in-the-dark skeleton shirt. Or my "live laugh lurk" mothman shirt. Or my "send noods" ramen shirt. Or -

I have this one internet friend who likes to talk to me about all their ocs and self-inserts and whatnot and i could honestly just listen to them rant for like a year

The sight of one of my irl friend's pfps on tumblr (we're also mutuals). We dont talk much anymore, but shes the coolesr person ive ever met and i love thinking about her

I am extremely easy to please, to the point of being annoyingly indecisive. But you know what? I like it that way. And heres a fun lil secret - im easy to please by design. Ive learned to cope with depression and s*icidal thoughts by finding joy in all the small stuff. Not saying itll work for everyone, but if im ever in a dark place i can just look down at my pineapple-print pajama pants and go, " if i dont wear these then who will?" And then everything is a little bit less horrible

Thanks for the ask! And everyone else is encouraged to add things that make them stupidly happy too!!! <3

[crystalgirl259]

Guilty Pleasures Chapter 1

SUMMARY: A demon Kai and an angel Zane, longtime acquaintances who, having grown accustomed to life on Earth as representatives of Heaven and Hell, seek to prevent the coming of the Armageddon...

****************

Current theories on the creation of the universe stated that if it were created at all and didn't just start it came into being about fourteen billion years ago. The Earth was generally supposed to be about four and a half billion years old. These dates were incorrect. Some medieval scholars put the date of the creation at 3760 BC while others put creation as far back as 5508 BC. But these were also incorrect. Archbishop James Ussher claimed that Heaven and the Earth were created on Sunday, the twenty-first of October, 4004 BC, at nine in the morning.

This too was incorrect, by almost a quarter of an hour.

It was created at 9:13 in the morning. The whole business with the fossilized dinosaur skeletons was a joke that paleontologists haven't seen yet. This proved that God did not play dice with the universe. He played an ineffable game of his own devising. For everyone else, it was like playing poker in a pitch-dark room, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiled all the time. To understand the true significance of what that means, we need to begin earlier.

A little more than 6,000 years earlier, to be precise.

Just after the beginning. It started, as it will end, with a garden, in this case, the Garden of Eden, and with an apple. It was a nice day, but all the days had been nice. There had been rather more than seven of them so far, and rain hadn't been invented yet. But the storm clouds gathering east of Eden suggested that the first thunderstorm was on its way, and it was going to be a big one...

****************

Zane fretted as he stood near the lip of the stone ledge, his shining robes shining in the light along with the white, almost glowing, feathers of his large wings. The first two humans off in the distance, Adam and Eve, had barely made their way out into the new world and they were both already in danger. A large male lion made a beeline from nowhere toward them and was now intending on making them extinct. The young angel didn't think this was going to go well.

Thank goodness they weren't unarmed, the angel consoled himself.

Before they left, he gave Eve his shurikens of ice gifted to him by the high angels. He was surprised to see Adam wielding a sword of fire, a weapon not of Heaven, but considering what had happened, he wasn't too concerned about it. Knowing that they had means of protection helped Zane's mind rest, but only a little. The weather was fair, aside from the rapidly building clouds. At least that was a comfort to know. A kind, warm breeze fluttered his clean robe around in a playful way.

It felt wonderful to the angel, but even better how it ran through his unsheathed white wings.

He flexed them out to get a better feel. It felt good to have them free from their confines. He had been practicing getting used to having them put away for his assignment on this new planet. They had warned him upstairs that he couldn't afford to be seen by 'God's Little Projects' down here. Those were their words, not his own. Before Zane embarked, God himself told him they wouldn't be able to handle it due to now learning 'jealousy', whatever that meant.

When he asked him what it was, he said the young angel would find out in time, plus all the other ones.

He still didn't know why God didn't tell him, but God had always worked in mysterious ways. Don't interfere too much. That was the rule all angels lived by. Be ever watchful, a mentor if needed, provide guidance if asked, but that was it. Not too difficult, or so they kept telling him, and already he broke the rule. Now he had more trouble on the mind. There was only so much to do when watching over the birth of a new species. To be so limited to what needs to be done simply wasn't fair.

Not that he condoned rules should be broken.

But this was not going to be easy. His toes curled on the hard surface when he felt that other presence approach closer. It was a sort of tugging sensation that came from deep inside him. He thought it was curious. That never happened before, except when that thing first showed up. He knew it was nearby anyway. At times it felt as though it was hovering just out of sight, watching. But he had hoped it would leave. It felt different than anything he had ever known, and he didn't like it one bit.

Not when everything was so new.

So he promptly chose to ignore it. It was just a lowly serpent demon anyway. Granted, that filthy Hell beast was most likely the reason he had a chance of being fired before he could do his job. Perhaps everyone would understand. They were angels, after all, forgiveness and compassion were at the very root of their cores. Zane rubbed his temple. He had only one job. He hadn't even been here for very long and already he morally mucked it up.

He would be the laughing stock upstairs.

The only other thing he could possibly get wrong now is if Eden caught fire. Then he would officially be out of a job. Zane started wondering if he should have been more aggressive about it and really told that serpent what for. He never was very good at this soldier of Heaven thing or asserting himself in general. Zane truly believed that someone else would be better suited for this than he.

"What do you make of it?" A voice suddenly asked, shattering the silence. Zane jumped, the voice startling him from his own musings. He hadn't noticed he was no longer alone. He was shocked that the creature had yet to attack him, wondering if they were friendly, but that would be outlandish because the very thought is preposterous, blasphemous even. Their kind would never mingle with his. Not without bloodshed, anyway. It simply wasn't done.

The angel turned to his left and couldn't help but do a double-take to the creature next to him.

It was male, dressed in dark red robes, with amber snake-like eyes, beautiful tanned skin, a toned body, and brown hair shaped in a way that reminded Zane of fire. The back of the demon's hands and up his arms were dusted with dark red snake scales. His finger and toenails were incredibly sharp and black. Zane couldn't take his eyes off it, completely transfixed. He almost didn't believe that that was the serpent. He didn't know it had a vessel, let alone a silky pair of feathered, crimson wings with black tips.

When Zane saw the wings he realized that this was not just some ordinary demon.

It was one of the Fallen. That was fascinating to Zane, as he had never met one of them. In fact, if Zane was entirely honest with himself, this dark one was a mixture of striking, exotic, and becharming. Now it was staring at him with those amber serpent eyes. For some reason, they didn't repulse the angel. It was then that Zane remembered that the snake had asked him something and it was probably best to respond. He should also stop thinking of it as an 'it'.

That demon was evidently much more than that and Zane suddenly felt like he was being rude, even if the demon couldn't read minds.

Zane smiled awkwardly, then concluded he had no idea what the creature said.

"Sorry, what?" Zane asked and the brunette pointed out towards the humans.

"That, right there, the whole tiger thing." He clarified and Zane followed the demon's finger.

"That's a lion." Zane corrected.

"Whatever, don't you think it's a bit much? I mean, they just got out, are finding their footing, and the first thing they come across on this big round planet is this aggressive beast?"

"No one said it would be easy," Zane said, even if the other had a point.

"It's trying to eat them!" The demon gawked at him.

"Look, I don't like it any more than you do, uh...?" Zane trailed off when he realized he hadn't gotten the demon's name if it had one. The brunette quickly caught on to why Zane paused and smiled faintly.

"Kai." He answered the unasked question.

"Kai, thank you, but these things are not our decisions to make."

"You're not about to sprout some Holier-Than-Thou jibberish at me are you?" Kai asked as he gave him a peculiar look. Zane wasn't sure how to answer that. That was all anyone ever talked about upstairs. The very idea that someone wouldn't want to, let alone calling it jibberish, preach about it and discuss its many glorious wonders was unheard of. When the angel didn't answer, the dark one rolled his eyes.

"You were, weren't you?"

"There's nothing wrong with that." Zane countered.

"No no, of course not." Kai mocked. "You're within your right to justify a reason as to why God's human race failed at the get-go."

"I'm not trying to do any such thing!" Zane said, growing flustered. "B-Besides, look! The male seems to be fending its adversary off brilliantly on his own! They're obviously capable of taking care of themselves; I only hope that this will be the worst of it, at least for today." He frowned in concern as a roll of thunder broke in, causing them both to look around for the source. Detecting it was from the sky, they exchange looks then went back to watching the battle for survival in front of them.

They stood in oddly comfortable silence before Kai broke it.

"Wait, so that's a lion?" He gasped, almost in awe.

"Yes, It is."

"Never seen one of them before."

"Sorry?" Zane blinked in confusion.

"I said, I've never seen one of those before."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've never seen a lion before, so I would never have known they looked like that." He shrugged and Zane could only stare. "What?" Kai asked in a rather prickly manner.

"Nothing," The angel squeaked as he turned away, a slight blush framing the tips of his ears. He didn't realize he was ogling again. "Just, find it surprising that one dead animal isn't familiar with an equally dangerous one."

"It's not like I was there when they were created, was a little bit busy with another matter at that time, as you well know." Kai returned as another boom of thunder rumbled closer over their heads. Only this time it had been accompanied by a shocking bright snap of light that streaked across the sky. Both of their sets of wings flinched outward and lightly fluffed at the surprise of it. Zane let out an embarrassed chuckle and willed his feathers to settle down.

He could see out of the corner of his eye the other trying to do the same.

He cleared his throat and thought it best to continue where they left off.

"So, therefore, am I left to understand that, based on what you've said, you've never witnessed a tiger as well?" He asked and Kai immediately clammed up.

"Why do you ask?"

"It's a simple question."

"I don't know about that."

"Really? Do tell, I'd love to hear it."

"Has it gotten a bit stuffy out here?"

"No, I find it quite pleasing in all truthfulness."

"More cloudy things are building up."

"Stop trying to change the subject, please." Zane all but begged and Kai eyed him carefully.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm being ridiculed?"

"I would never," He said with all honesty. Kai looked around as if someone might hear, grimaced, and leaned in.

"Promise you won't tell?"

"Oh, may the Lord himself strike me down if I should ever utter a syllable to another living soul," Zane promised and he clasped his hands as if in prayer. Kai gave him a doubtful look, but eventually relented and grumbled with an obnoxious huff.

"No, are you satisfied now?! I've never seen a tiger, a lion, or fucking whale!" The demon cried as he closed his eyes and flinched again when more thunder rumbled closer. The sky was turning all below it several shades darker, growing ever so closer to swallowing the bright sun. The angel was oblivious to this, however.

"If it makes you feel any better, I've never seen a whale either." Zane smiled. It took a moment, but Zane noticed the smirk flit across that surprisingly pretty face.

"It doesn't," Kai replied as he glanced at him all the same with those gemstone eyes and once again they slipped into a pleasant silence. Zane suddenly had a thought. If Kai didn't seem to know about other animals, did he know about himself?

"Now Uhm, don't take this the wrong way but, you do know what you are, correct?" He asked carefully.

"You mean besides an angel-turned-demon who's damned for all eternity?" Kai said in a sarcastic tone.

"Yes."

"Then, of course, I know."

"Excellent! Care to say it out loud?"

"I already told you; my name's Kai," The demon grinned. He felt his heart miss a beat, and not in a good way. The thump was alarmingly prominent like his vessel-body was trying to alert him to take note of what this creature was saying. There was no possible way this demon could be this naive. Something else was amiss.

"Yes, I know your name, but I'm asking if you know what you are; do you know what you are?" He asked again and Kai's expression gradually changed from enjoyment to being perplexed. His brow furrowed as he stared off, eyes flicking around as if searching for something but simply grew more confused.

"What am I?" Kai finally asked, getting annoyed by the question.

"A serpent, dear," Zane replied for the demon. Evidently, Kai's face fell back to puzzlement once more and Zane's mouth fell open. It was evident that word meant nothing to the demon. "You don't know what a serpent is, do you?" He asked, almost sadly, Kai shrugged it off.

"What of it?"

"That's what you are!"

"So? What's so important with needing to know the ins and outs of a serpent? Why do you care if I know or not?" Kai snapped, experimenting with the new word in his mouth.

"No need to get upset, I was only trying to help," Zane said as he raised his arms in defense to try to quickly diffuse the tension. He watched Kai focus on the humans again, and it was clear something he had said or done bothered the demon immensely. He felt terrible, and then suddenly that scent came back. Only recently Zane had caught this aroma in the air. It comes and goes with the wind, but the longer he had been here the less deniable it had become.

Never had it been invasive or overbearing, but the angel noticed he could pick it out no matter what kind of stronger scents surrounded it.

Right now, this very moment, it was hitting him stronger than it ever had before.

"Looks like the lion's down," Kai added, noting how successful the humans were doing so far. Another rumble of thunder accompanied by that bright flash pushed ever closer. Perhaps Kai had caught a whiff of the scent?

"Do you smell that?" The angel asked, sniffing the air.

"What?" Kai asked and Zane realized he had made a poor judgment.

"Never mind." The angel shrugged off awkwardly, but thankfully the demon didn't push it. They stood there in silence for a short while, before Kai glanced over at Zane, and his snake eyes suddenly narrowed.

"Wait, where are your shurikens anyway? I thought you had a pair that froze anything they touched?" He asked and Zane froze in fear. "Did you have one, or didn't you? Because now I'm confused."

"How do you mean?" The angel asked as he began to feel uneasy.

"Well, your presence here no longer makes sense, so what are you doing here Snowflake?"

"I'm-"

"Are you lost?"

"No, I'm... you're trying to confuse me." Zane accused as his heart started to race,

"I'm trying to confuse you?" Kai almost laughed, and this made Zane even more defensive.

"Yes! That's what your kind do and I will not be swayed into it!" He stated in the strongest voice he could muster at that moment, his chest puffing out slightly as he did. Zane knew he was being cornered. He knew this whole thing was a setup to get him to lose ground or faith or doubt himself in his duties for the choices he'd made and how thanks to him everything was ruined. But that wasn't what upset Zane. He was upset that he fell for it.

He had failed again.

God must have been testing him early and he has failed another one. Or perhaps not? He may have caught it in time, he could still redeem himself if he stayed strong.

"You're the one who's doing the confusing here," Kai lectured. "You're supposed to have some freezing shurikens, which I could've sworn you had, and that would make sense for a Cherub to have in order to guard the Garden of Eden, but let's face it, you're terrible at guarding, and you don't have your shurikens so I ask you again; what are you doing here?" He scowled and a boom of thunder emphasized the demon's point. Zane took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, eyes closed.

All he had to do was be honest, true, and stop being distracted by the alluring visage before him.

"I...I gave them away."

"You gave them away?!"

"Shh! Not so loud!" He panicked, already forgetting the pep-talk he gave himself. "I don't want the head office to hear! Besides, they're not lost or anything; they're right there, see? The humans have it now." The angel explained and pointed to the humans slowly fading in the distance with a pair of remarkably bright-looking objects in the hands of one of them. Kai looked back to the tiny figures, then to the angel. Then back to the figures, and once again to the angel.

Then suddenly, what Zane could only describe as a ridiculously big stupid grin spread over the demon's face, the creature did an unexplainable thing.

He started to laugh, laugh, and laugh some more. It became so severe they turned into fits, gripping his stomach. That damned thing lost its balance and fell to the floor. He rolled around, it wracking his body to near spasm levels, and during it all, he had the utter nerve to speak to the angel at the same time.

"Oh, I would love to be there for your first report! Glad to know I'm not the only one who interfered." He cackled, and his grin grew when he saw the confusion on Zane's face. "What? Where did you think Adam got that flaming sword from?" He laughed and Zane gasped at the realization that Kai had been the one to give Adam the sword, a weapon of Hell. "I hope it doesn't turn out that they aren't too bright yet when it comes to violent weaponry and the use of fire and ice so they somehow kill themselves!"

Zane's paled, even more, when Kai's words sank in.

The angel finally realized that he could get in a great deal of trouble for this. Everything Kai pointed out was more than plausibly true and may happen once the humans were out of sight. This was serious. Even so, he couldn't stop a giggle bubble up to the surface. Watching Kai, he found out, was contagious. It started small but soon grew to a level that was painful to hold in. He tried to stifle it, tried to bite it back with his teeth against his tongue, but it was hopeless.

Zane covered his mouth and did his best to hide it from the cackling demon.

"That's not funny, I beseech you, stop laughing!" He tried to say normally but cracked on the last word. He clenched a fist and nearly begged the other to spare him. Kai rolled to face him and Zane was almost lost again when he saw tears running down his cheeks. He had no choice but to turn away and fisted his hands tightly by his sides. "No! No, I refuse to believe in your trickery! This isn't a joke!" The angel yelled, not caring what he said so long as this lark would end.

Within time, Kai calmed down, breathing heavily.

"They're going to be fine, Snowflake, I'm only teasing you," He said while a chuckle or two still found its way out. "Look how well they have handled themselves against their first threat, and they've only just set foot out there; if I hadn't given them that sword and you hadn't given them the shurikens they would be torn to pieces by now, we saved them." Zane heard from behind him a tired sigh. The loudest thunder roll cracked out, the very appearance of the clouds above threatening their next level to come soon.

The flutter from inside Zane's chest came back.

But, somehow it was stronger this time around. He turned back to face the other being and took notice of how Kai laid there. Wings relaxed, hands resting on the stomach, one leg bent. He was comfortable. Kai, an evil enemy, was content to lay there in his presence. Zane could easily smite him. He would technically be within reason, for what Kai had done concerning the apple. It would be simple, quick, and clean. But that never even crossed his pure mind.

He strode over to the brunette and reached down a hand with a winning smile of his own.

"My name is Zane; it's nice to meet you." He introduced and Kai's eyes widened. He wasn't expecting that. He stared at the hand as if he had never seen its kind before. He appeared unsure of what step to take next. Zane gave him time, not pulling away yet. Soon enough, Kai eventually smiled.

"Hello, Zane, it's nice to meet you, too," He replied and reached up with his own hand, clasped the inviting one, and was hoisted up. Zane nearly dropped the demon, however. Once they touched, the contact was not at all what he was expecting. He cried out, yanking his hand away, and jumped back. His other hand clasped it around the wrist and pulled it close. Zane stared from his hand to Kai in either astonishment or fear. He couldn't decide which it was.

Kai just raised an eyebrow at him, perplexed as to what had happened.

"Oh! Forgive me but, you're so hot! To the touch, I mean!" He stammered as he did his best to explain but not offend.

"Naturally." Kai shrugged. Zane shook his head, confused.

"This is a normal occurrence?"

"Of course," The demon said casually, amused by the reaction from the angel. He crossed his arms, took a deep, over-exaggerated breath. "Being a fallen angel, or more accurate, a demon from the fiery pits of Hell now, so to answer your question; being boiling hot is normal for demons like me," He smiled. The next boom of thunder rumbled on for some time. It was as if the sky was growling its impatience for being ignored.

"Is that all?"

"Yep," Kai replied, but he didn't seem to care. The brunette then opened his mouth and exhaled. The air in front of it appeared to ripple several inches outward. Zane walked up to it, mesmerized, and like a baby who was still testing out the world for the first time, he reached out a hand and ran it through it. It was warm, heated air coming out. It wasn't painful in the slightest. The angel beamed as he wiggled his fingers around it. He kept it up until Kai closed his mouth, grinning at Zane's blush.

Zane was about to agree, then stopped himself and wondered why this was brought up in the first place.

"Anywho, going back to your shuriken conversation with His Almighty, if you can't find humor even in the direst situations, then what's the point of it?" He asked and Zane visibly shook his wings at the way Kai mockingly talked about the Lord. Ignoring that, however, Zaen wasn't sure what he thought of that advice, but he secretly tucked it away in the back of his mind all the same.

"You'll be alright, he loves all of you unquestionably," Kai added and Zane paused. Did he hear that right? Had a fallen angel, a being who willfully rebelled against God just casually admit the Lord adored all of them? Without a second thought about it? What was going on here? Zane turned his head and glanced at the demon. The brunette was rigid stiff. Amber eyes hard, staring intently straight ahead. Jaw clenched. He could see the dark one's fingers turning white from how hard he was gripping his own arms.

So it was a mistake.

He didn't mean to say it. Now at least something about this villain makes sense to him.

"I wonder how far up we are?" Kai suddenly blurted out with a jerk of his head, and then just took off, running over and standing right on the edge of the wall cliff. His red and black wings thrusting out just so as to counter the body weight from tumbling over. Zane gasped and ran after but stayed himself some steps later. For a split moment, he chastised himself for the idea of wanting to save the enemy. But most of the time he was too busy worrying about the brunette disappearing suddenly from his sight.

The wind had picked up some, and was a tad rougher on Kai's clothes and hair, yanking and blowing it around like a dare to take another step.

The demon suddenly moaned, but Zane couldn't tell what he meant. The angel moved fast and was standing next to them once the groan had been uttered.

"Are you alright?" He panicked.

"I don't like heights," The demon mumbled. The eyes were closed and they appeared to be swaying.

"Then get away from the edge, you silly thing!" Zane shouted, grasping the other and guiding him down to safety. When he unclosed his eyes, he got defensive.

"I just wanted to see how far down it was!" He hissed angrily, but Zane just rolled his eyes and neither of them said anything more on the subject. Water from the skies began to fall. When it hit them they shied away from it on the first drops. Zane figured it out quicker than the other one did. Kai seemed a little lost to this experience, unsure of what to do or how to react to it. Kai must have sensed eyes on him, for he turned to catch the angel's icy orbs.

Zane, at this point he stopped trying to reason it, opened an arm, lifted a wing, and beckoned the other in.

To say he was surprised the demon actually moved closer was a hardball to juggle. So many unusual and unexpected things happened in such as short time. He wasn't even sure how he felt. He didn't seem the least bit repulsed when Kai stood so close they nearly touched shoulders, and he could feel the heat of the other's temperature radiating onto him. The demon kept glancing at him, shifting on his bare feet. Eventually, he opened his mouth and asked what seemed to be on his mind.

"No hard feelings between us, yes? After all; I was only doing what I was so ordered to, on pain of repercussion, and all that." He said, looking a little nervous. This made the pale angel go quiet. Unsure of whether to trust what this thing was saying or if he was lying to him and this was planned the whole time. Whichever it was, he hadn't the heart to be cruel.

"No, I daresay, no hard feelings; it's too early for that yet." He replied and another silence surrounded them. Every once in a while, they would both stick their hands out to catch the water droplets on their palms then bring them in under the protection of the angel's wing. Even if they both refused to admit it, Kai and Zane felt at peace at that moment. Where it was just the two of them, huddled together as they experienced the first rainfall with the young planet Earth...

[poptod]

Baisemain

Description: Your dead body is dressed up in ancient Mesopotamian clothing, and hidden in the Museum of Natural History. What your murderer doesn’t know is that you’re about to come to life, every night, for as long as your skeleton exists.

Notes: So this is just a quick blurb (and basically a shitpost) about this idea of a murder victim’s body being held in the Museum of Natural History. It’s not specifically Ahk x Reader but there’s a bit at the end that’s pretty flirty. I suppose I could write more, but I don’t know if I really wanna do that. I promise I’ll come up with something new and actually good soon!

Word Count: 1.9k

What comes in death is… nothing. There is no you, no consciousness going by your name, and there is no reality where you exist. Not anymore. You hold no anger towards the cause of your death, but only because you simply can’t, not when there’s no mind to store it in. If you were still alive, still holding a consciousness, you’d probably be rather annoyed - you’re not a cynical person but you’re not a saint, either.

So, there is a time on earth in which you are not a thought, not a tangible thing, and all sense of who you are is subject to the tide of the wind - the idea of you exists, in abstract form, only the image of what you are in other peoples minds. It’s rather blissful, nonexistence; quiet, but not lonely, and peaceful in every way existence cannot be. For one point in time it is blissfully quiet, blissfully dark and nothing, till a bright light sparks, and your consciousness comes back to being.

There’s a light shining in your face, fluorescent and painfully bright as your eyes barely open. Squinting, you try to see through the brightness, taking a minute or so to adjust. Around you is darkness - the only light in the room is the one directly above you, and you’re lying on top of a table that is suspiciously cold. With a groan you sit up, fully taking in where you are, and what in the hell could be happening.

A thousand different solutions, none of them right, ran through your head. Perhaps this is a hospital, you thought, incorrectly, followed by, no, this is too empty. Perhaps I am in a morgue of sorts, which was also wrong. There’s a distinct smell, not especially rancid but certainly not a nice smell, and the room is filled with it. Without word or grunt you slip off the table, and the clacking on your feet is odd - not right for being shoeless and not right for the sneakers you usually wear.

It’s only then that you notice you’re not wearing your normal clothes, or anything that could be considered normal. Long cloth drapes from your shoulders and hips, colorful and softer than anything you own - nothing that belongs to you, no wallet or keys or I.D. are in your pockets, which are sizable. A sort of shawl covers your chest, while a long skirt tied somewhere around your shoulders or waist (it’s all so tight and confusing) covers you from waist to ankle. If you had to guess, you’d place the origin of the style and cloth somewhere in the Middle East, which would be the one thought so far that was right.

The only appropriate course of action, you decide, is to explore, and try to piece together what exactly was happening. So, trying to keep your clothing up (which is an easier task than you think it is, it’s very well made and knotted), you leave the cold examination table, and wander through empty halls.

A good amount of time passes before you hear faint music coming from above you. Someone’s playing ABBA, you recognize that in the least, and you climb up several flights of stairs in hopes of finding some hint of life. As you get slowly closer, the thumping of hundreds of feet begins, then the shouts, and you realize that there’s not just one person playing ABBA, it’s an entire party.

Maybe someone’s having an office party, you think to yourself, back on the course of thinking wrong things. When you reach the final door, you’re only aware it’s the final door by the impossibly loud music, and the vibrating of the door handle when you grasp it. Anxiously you turn, your nerves flooding your hand till it tingled with excitement - well, that or fear, and you preferred to be excited. Though, if you knew exactly what you were getting excited for, you might’ve not been so excited in the first place.

In the center of the room is a very familiar globe, spinning and still glowing even though it’s clearly nighttime outside. Every exhibit you ever remember seeing is dancing, playing games, or talking with one another, and you can feel your breath leave your body - perhaps you weren’t really alive again, but you can still feel your heartbeat. In fact, your heartbeat is about the only thing you can still feel, and when a soccer ball comes hurtling towards your head you can almost feel yourself faint. Instead you duck, and the ball bounces off the wall and back to - Attila the hun, who is definitely not a wax statue anymore.

You’ve been here before, you know this place, and the fact that you’re here is terrifying you more than you ever thought it could. The Museum of Natural History in New York, which is funny, because you don’t live in New York.

Pretending as if everything you’re seeing is normal, you try to look for a night guard; you know they have one, and maybe they’ll know whats happening. At the top of the steps you find him, dressed in the usual dark blue garb, flashlight in hand. He’s talking to someone who’s definitely Egyptian, Ancient Egyptian, and if the crown meant anything, very likely royalty.

“Hi, uh, I’m sorry,” you say, tapping the night guard on the shoulder. “I… what’s happening here?”

He turns to you, and a smile of recognition crosses his face. Patting you on the shoulder, he says, “Oh! Yeah, you must be the, uh, new exhibit. From Mesopotamic or something?”

“Mesopotamia,” the Egyptian corrects him, with a surprisingly strong British accent. You look to him, then back at the night guard, still confused.

“What? No, I’m - I’m not from Mesopotamia, I’m from Colorado. What’s going on here?”

The two men look at each other, communicating in silent looks before turning back to you.

“Um… well, you’re in a museum. A magical tablet brings you to life every night, belongs to this guy,” the night guard says, pointing a finger back at the Egyptian behind him.

“I was dead. Like, really dead, did anyone solve - I was dead! Someone murdered me with a - a knife or something, and now I’m here?!” The reality of your situation begins to set in with you, and it’s not a pretty sight - your eyes go wide and you grip at your hair, wondering how in the hell this situation is in any way possible.

“Hey, hey, calm down. Are you sure you’re not from Mesopotamian?”

“Mesopotamia,” both you and the Egyptian say at the same time, glancing at each other before both turning back to the night guard.

“Right, whatever. You’re from Colorado?”

“Yeah, well… at least that’s where I was living. Wasn’t born there.”

“Makes sense,” the Egyptian says. “Most Mesopotamians don’t speak English.”

“Most Ancient Egyptians don’t speak English either,” the night guard points out. “You’re going to have to prove it to me.”

Internally you groan, ready to recite the events of the current age.

“It’s 1999, and -“

“Wrong. 2005,” the night guard interrupts helpfully.

“In that case, I must’ve been murdered a good long while ago.” An anger courses through you, and you begin to spit facts like you hate them, when you couldn’t feel less apathetic about it. “There’s fifty states in America, which was founded in 1776 by George Washington, John Adams, some guy named Richard I think, and the rest of the founding fathers. Umm… Nelson Mandela recently stepped down from his presidency, and the Sixth Sense came out, which I haven’t ever watched so don’t ask me about it.”

“Okay,” he says after a moment of contemplation. “That’s fair.”

“So you believe me?” You ask excitedly, smiling for probably the first time that night.

“Sure. But I don’t think I’ll be able to convince the other exhibits, they hardly speak English some of them… it’d probably be best just to say you’re Mespotamic.”

You and the Egyptian look at each other, too tired to correct him, and you both silently agree that he’s never going to get it right. At long last the two introduce themselves; the night guard’s name is Larry, and the Egyptian’s name is Ahkmenrah, and your previous deduction had been correct - he was royal, a king to be exact. Larry offers to look your murder up on the internet, but it’s safely assumed beforehand that it isn’t solved, considering your dead body is dressed up in Mesopotamian garb in a museum. No, someone is just a very smart killer.

“Like hiding a dead body in a graveyard,” Larry comments, to which you agree. After that fun excursion in which you are deeply unsettled by your Missing Persons poster, he decides to introduce you to the wide variety of characters inhabiting the museum.

By the fifth person you meet you’re a little numb to meeting famous historical people, and to the fact that everyone keeps calling you Mesopotamian. You don’t look the part, either in skin or facial features, and everyone’s immediate assumption is more than tiresome after the seventh person you meet. The only thing that jostles you by the time midnight strikes is the massive T-Rex, which, defying all logic of the tablet, does not have meat on its’ bones. You point this out to Ahkmenrah, who seems to be the leading expert on the tablet, and he just shrugs.

“Some things just happen some ways,” he says, leaving you more confused than you were before.

Your heart skips a beat when you notice a small child on top of the dinosaur, and begins to beat faster yet when Larry runs after him, leaving you alone with Ahkmenrah. He turns to you with a polite smile, a little too real to be only cursory.

“I never got to officially introduce myself,” he says, and you recall that it was, in fact, Larry who told you the King’s name. “I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, and very pleased to meet you.” You hadn’t noticed he held your hand till it comes to his lips, a gentle, admiring kiss upon the back of it. Stuttering, you try to get a grasp on your words, blushing furiously from this single show of affection.

“I - I, uh… I’m (Y/N). I hold no title,” you finally get out, wondering if you should add your job in, before ultimately deciding that saying you’re a writer isn’t a great way to earn respect. “But it’s nice to meet you as well.”

He takes you on a tour of the different rooms just as Larry toured you around the people, telling you who each room belonged to, and a little history of the exhibit. He directs you by holding your hand, sending flutters into your heart every time he squeezes your hand when pulling you along to another room. You don’t have the heart to tell him you’ve actually visited the museum before, and whenever he smiles at you, you find you don’t want to tell him anyway - if only to get him to keep holding your hand.

To your quiet delight he keeps holding your hand throughout the night, tracing your veins as he explains exactly what to do when the night comes to a close.

Ultimately, it takes a good long while to adjust to what life is - it’s explain to you that you can’t leave the museum, and it takes you a much longer time to adjust to the fact that no one will ever solve your murder. As close as your friendship gets with the Pharaoh, it doesn’t fully fill the hole in your heart left by the fact that none of your friends or family know what happened to you. But, there are ups and downs to every story, and this story is pretty far-fetched anyway.

[grapesodatozier]

okay i know you aren't taking fic requests rn but when you ARE maybe a hanzier propsal fic please? just some soft fluffy shot cause the hanzier tag is basically always empty. also smut somewhere in there ic you're feeling generous hehe

this genuinely too forever omg, sorry about that!! but i hope you like it!! this is my first time ever writing hanzier and i had sm fun with it, thank you for the request!!

words: 3,173

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

The moment Mike decided to propose, he knew he was going all out. People like Richie didn’t come around very often, and neither did a love like theirs. Richie was his best friend and the love of his life - Mike was gonna do this right.

The night started with dinner and seeing their favorite comedian perform. (Although Richie was quick to protest that he was only Richie’s favorite, as, “I’m your favorite comedian, Mikey!”). By the time they were sitting outside eating ice cream together, Richie was resting his head on Mike’s shoulder and smiling up at him. “Tonight’s been amazing. You sure know how to treat a lady, Mr. Hanlon.”

Mike smiled and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s dark curls. “Night’s still young.”

Richie pulled back and narrowed his eyes at Mike, a mischievous smile curling his lips. “Did you have something in mind, Michael?”

Mike shrugged in feigned nonchalance. “You’ll see.”

A minute later an Uber picked them up, and Mike could see Richie bouncing with excitement; he loved a surprise. As they wound through the New York City streets, Mike admired the way the lights glinted off Richie’s glasses, shined in his eyes, made his hair glow softly with a palette of neon colors. Mike thanked the driver and took Richie’s hand as they arrived at their destination. 

“You just can’t stay away from work, can you?” Richie teased as he sized up the museum - the American Museum of Natural History, to be specific. Mike worked there as an archivist, and he knew how much Richie loved seeing all of the exhibits, especially the dinosaurs. He had at least three dinosaur plush toys that Mike had bought for him, and he treasured them all dearly. Also, he was a big Night at the Museum fan.

Mike chuckled. “I may have talked the night watch into letting me bring you on an after hours tour.” Richie’s eyes widened adorably. Mike couldn’t help but pull him in by the waist and kiss his nose. “So,” he said as he began leading Richie forward, “what do you want to see first?”

“Oh, you know I wanna see the dinosaurs without all those kids hogging up all the space.” Mike barked out a laugh as he held the door for Richie.

“Yeah, because a six-foot-four man can’t see over a couple of children.”

“They come in droves and you know it!”

The two walked around the exhibit hand in hand, their footsteps echoing through the empty, cavernous halls as they travelled from blurb to picture to blurb. The lights were on, but it was still surreal without the hustle and bustle. “I feel like it’s gonna come alive and chase us,” Richie remarked as they stood under the t-rex skeleton.

“I’ll protect you if it does.” Mike pressed a few kisses to Richie’s cheek, pulling him into his arms.

Richie hummed and pulled Mike in for a kiss, their lips moving sweetly together. “The benefits of dating a beefcake.”

Mike chuckled again and pulled Richie along. “Come on, there’s something this beefcake wants you to see.”

“God, there’s more?” Richie balked. “Is it strippers? Is it strippers dressed like Teddy Roosevelt? Is it an erotic but heartfelt dance between two men dressed like the Roman and the cowboy from the movie?”

Mike shook his head at his boyfriend, a smirk on his lips. “No, but keep guessing, you’re giving me good ideas for next time.” Richie was happy to provide him more content, his guesses becoming raunchier and more ridiculous as they went. The two were nearly doubled over with laughter by the time they made it to the real surprise. Mike took advantage of how distracted Richie was to pull him past the heavy doors into the darkened room.

“Okay, now this is spooky,” Richie joked as the door closed, leaving them in darkness. Mike slipped his hand out of Richie’s, dropping to one knee and reaching inside his pocket as silently as possible. “Mike?” As soon as his name left Richie’s lips, the projector came to life, spattering the ceiling with stars that illuminated the room. Richie cursed in awe under his breath. His eyes were too preoccupied with the galaxies and planets above him to notice Mike kneeling in front of him, but Mike let him take it all in first; as much as Richie loved dinosaurs, Mike knew he could lie for hours looking at the planetarium display. Mike watched the smile spread across his face, his heart exploding. Finally, Richie looked for Mike, and the surprise on his face when he found him with a little box in his hand was precious. “Oh shit,” he muttered, that smile still lighting up is face as his eyes went wide.

“Rich, you’re my best friend,” Mike started.

“And you’re mine,” Richie breathed dreamily, his hand to his chest.

“Rich,” Mike chuckled pointedly.

“Right, shutting up now, sorry.”

Mike beamed up at him before continuing. “You’re my best friend, and the love of my life. And everything that happens from now on, I want to happen with you. You always make me smile, you make sure I laugh every day, even when I don’t think I can. I wanna make you laugh every day for the rest of our lives. I don’t want to go a day without seeing that smile.” Mike smiled slyly and glanced up at the display on the ceiling before saying, “You’re my sun, my moon, and all my stars.” Richie chuckled, his voice breathy and eyes glistening. “So, Richie Tozier, light of my life, will you marry me?”

Richie was on his knees kissing Mike almost before he even got the question out. “Hell yeah I’ll fucking marry you,” he murmured against Mike’s smiling lips. “I’m gonna marry the shit out of you, Michael Hanlon. Gonna let you make an honest man out of me.”

“Can you let me get this ring on your finger first?” Mike giggled.

“Ooh, right, the bling! Lay it on me, baby.” He held out his hand dramatically, but he was attacking Mike’s neck with kisses before he even began sliding the ring on. He finally managed to get it secured on his finger before pocketing the box and bringing Richie’s knuckles to his lips. They both took a moment to admire the way it looked before meeting each other’s eye with matching smiles. “I love you,” Richie said softly.

Mike’s heart bloomed with warmth. “I love you, too. So, so much.” They were both smiling as their lips met again, kissing each other slowly, purposefully. Mike would never get tired of the way their lips moved together, or the way Richie impatiently nipped at Mike’s lower lip. Mike gently laid his fiance on the floor. Richie moaned appreciatively as Mike deepened the kiss, making Mike groan in turn; as much fun as it was to tease him, Richie made the prettiest noises when he got what he wanted. “Good boy,” Mike murmured lowly when Richie spread his legs for him. He smirked at the whine Richie let out when Mike rolled his hips down against his.

“You gonna fuck me in a planetarium?” His voice was breathy and amused, his eyes glinting with excitement. His shiny, kiss-pink lips were too tempting, and Mike just had to kiss them, humming in response.

“You want that, baby?” Mike asked. He wound his fingers into Richie’s hair.

“Fuck, please,” Richie whimpered, his voice high as Mike tugged playfully on his curls.

Mike kissed Richie deeply once more before guiding him to sit up and helping him get his clothes off. “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Mike sighed reverently, kissing over Richie’s exposed skin. He grinned and nuzzled his face affectionately into Richie’s neck. “I’ve got the most gorgeous fiance in the world.”

“I like the sound of that.” Richie grinned as he placed his lips against Mike’s. Mike sat back and stripped himself, chuckling at the hungry way Richie watched him, lounging on the floor. Mike imagined he had a similar look on his face as he took in Richie’s body, his torso and limbs and his half hard cock, all on display for him. It had warmth spreading through his entire body, pulling him like a magnet to Richie. He ran his hands over Richie’s thighs for a moment, taking a second to pause and admire the view.“Kinda romantic, making love under the stars,” Richie mused as Mike retrieved a condom and a packet of lube from his pockets. 

“Well I did just propose to you, so yeah, romance was kind of the goal,” Mike winked.

“Damn, and people think I’m the smartass.” Mike shook his head and brought his lips to Richie’s again. He began kissing over his jaw, taking his time as he ran his fingertips over Richie’s skin. Despite the banter, there was an electricity in the air, one that ignited so easily between the two of them. Simultaneously, Mike sucked on Richie’s weak spot along his neck and brushed his fingertips over the head of Richie’s now fully hard cock. Richie gasped and grabbed Mike’s shoulders. “Wait,” he panted. Mike pulled back and caressed his face. “People can’t… you know… hear us, can they?”

Mike smirked slowly. “What’s wrong, baby? You don’t think you can keep quiet?” 

“You know I can’t.” Richie bit his lip and lowered his eyes. It would never stop surprising Mike how bashful such a boisterous person could get, but he loved it all the same, loved seeing him melt and blush beneath him.

“God, I can’t wait to hear you.” Mike kissed down his neck and ran his hands over his thighs, loving the way he squirmed. “You’re so beautiful. Gonna open you up now, okay? Make sure you’re nice and ready for me, wanna make it so good for you, baby.” He kissed down Richie’s chest, smirking to himself as he whined.

“Please no, you fucked me like six hours ago, I’m ready.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you, baby.” Which was true, but he was also definitely doing it to hear Richie beg. But also to treat him, to show him how much he loved him and how lucky Mike was to have him. He sat back and covered his fingers in lube, spreading it around until it was warm. Then he lay between Richie’s open legs and began pressing deep kisses to the inside of his thighs as he circled his fingers around Richie’s entrance. It already had Richie squirming, begging for more.

“Please,” he whined. “Please, baby, want you so bad.” Mike smirked against Richie’s skin and slowly pressed one of his fingers in. It slid in with ease, and Mike smoothly pumped in and out of him while he left marks all over his thighs. He took his time, making sure to curve his finger just right to have Richie panting. Soon enough he began rocking his hips. “Mikey, please, please give me more, I can take it.”

Mike looked up at him, pleased to find his cheeks and chest already flushed pink. He smiled sweetly at him before pressing a few more kisses to his thighs. He sat up a bit then and licked a teasing stripe up Richie’s cock before kissing up his stomach. The gasp and subsequent groan Richie let out had Mike chuckling against his collarbones. He brought his lips to Richie’s as he slid a second finger inside of him. He really did seem to be ready, but Mike was enjoying drawing it out. As he pulled back to admire the view of Richie spread out beneath him, he was honestly impressed with himself for not sliding into him right then and there. He indulged Richie, who was whining and squirming for more, with a third finger. This one went it with a bit less ease than the first two, but it had Richie sighing in a way that had Mike throbbing. “Yes,” Richie moaned. “Fuck, feels so good. Can’t wait for your cock, baby, please.” 

Mike kissed along Richie’s throat. “Just a little bit longer, baby. Gonna fill you up so good, I promise, gonna make it so good for you.”

“I love you.” Richie nuzzled his face into Mike’s, making him chuckle. His chest felt so warm, so full; Richie always made him so happy.

“I love you, too, honey,” he cooed before pressing his lips to Richie’s. He thrust in and out of him, savoring the way he clenched and loosened around his fingers. He slid in just so, just enough and at just the right angle that made Richie’s head fall back. Mike smiled to himself; this was one of his favorite things, watching Richie give into the ecstasy Mike made him feel. He massaged that sensitive spot slowly but deeply, making his fiance make the prettiest sounds. He admired the sharp angle of his jaw, the long column of his neck, the mess of curls splayed around his head. Richie was so beautiful, and Mike almost couldn’t believe how lucky he was to know that he got to make Richie feel like this for the rest of his life.

Richie ran his hands up to Mike’s shoulders then, holding on. And when he looked up, his blue eyes were hooded, his pupils blown wide and starry. “Mikey,” he moaned, “please, need you.” 

Mike kissed him deeply, languidly, taking his time, then pulled back with a whispered, “I’ve got you.” As he sat back to tear open the condom and roll it on, Richie kept his hands on him, his fingertips grazing over Mike’s skin. It made Mike absolutely glow, the way Richie longed to keep touching him, to be connected. Mike always wanted to be connected to him. He spread a generous amount of lube over his cock and lined himself up with Richie. With a nod from Richie, he began pressing in, slowly, watching every expression that danced across Richie’s face. He looked so pretty with his brow furrowed, his lips open in a small o shape, and the way he looked up at Mike and reach for him had him dizzy with love. Mike took his hand and kissed his palm, his wrist, his fingertips. And as he bottomed out, he intertwined their fingers, letting Richie hold onto him. 

“Baby,” Richie moaned, his voice like honey. “Please.” Mike pressed one last kiss to Richie’s knuckles before pulling his hips back and slowly pushing them forward again. Richie felt amazing around him; he loved how intimate this was, how he could feel every movement Richie made, hear every sound that fell from his lips. “Yes,” Richie encouraged, “fuck, so good.” His eyes were glassy and full of love as he met Mike’s gaze and told him, “You are the most beautiful person in the world.” With a smile, he added, “How’d I get the hottest fucking guy to propose to me?”

“I don’t know,” Mike grinned, “how’d I get the most amazing person in the world to say yes?” He rocked his hips, making Richie moan.

“Fuck, that, that’s how.” He smiled playfully. “That cock could get me to do anything.”

Mike chuckled and pressed his lips to Richie’s, rolling his hips slowly. He swallowed Richie’s low moans as he pressed into him, as deep as he could. Richie’s hands roamed over his skin, lighting a trail of fire in their wake. Mike ran his fingers through Richie’s hair. There was an energy flowing through both of them, steady, thrumming, in tune. Mike picked up the pace of his thrusts, pleasure washing over both of them. “Fuck, that feels so fucking good,” Richie panted. “You make me feel so good, take such good care of me.”

Mike buried his face in Richie’s neck, skin warm and buzzing with joy and adoration. “Nothing makes me happier than you do,” he professed into Richie’s skin, following his words with kisses.

“God, I love you.” Richie’s voice was already sounding wrecked as he began rolling his hips into Mike’s. Mike changed the angle a bit, began thrusting harder. It had Richie crying out and clinging to him. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, and a reminder that he never wanted to let Richie go. He kept at it, the pleasure building, warm and throbbing, wrapping around them. All the stars and planets surrounding them, and Richie was the only thing Mike wanted to look at. Richie always shined. Mike loved that about him, loved how they brought out one another’s glow, how it felt like they were the only two people in the world when they were together. He was especially glowing now, his skin going dewy under the lights, a soft smile on his lips. He pulled Mike down against him with a moan of his name. Mike kissed Richie’s hair, his shoulder, wherever he could, chasing down that pleasure. Richie bit down on Mike’s shoulder as his moans turned to shouts, muffling his cries. With Mike pressed against him, Richie could slide his cock between their stomachs, and soon both of them were slick with his precome. Mike loved it, loved being inside of Richie and having Richie all over him, all of his limbs wrapped around Mike, his teeth sinking into his skin. “Mike, baby, it’s so good.” Richie whined. “Getting close, fuck.”

“I’ve got you,” Mike assured him with a kiss to the corner of his jaw. “You can let go, baby, I’m here.” He could feel that his own release was coming soon, building and building inside of him. “I’m with you.”

“God, please fill me up, please.” 

And that was all it took, those words in Richie’s voice, to send Mike over the edge. He buried his face in Richie’s hair as he came, the feeling of Richie clenching around him making him tremble from the intensity. Richie held Mike tight and cried out as he finished a moment later, covering them both with his come. Mike loved it. As soon as he caught his breath, his lips were all over Richie, his hands soothing over his sides before he gently, slowly pulled out and tied off the condom.

“Fuck,” Richie chuckled breathlessly. “That was amazing… but uh, how are the maintenance guys gonna feel about cleaning my come off the carpet?”

Mike gave Richie a wicked smile before dipping his head down and kissing down Richie’s chest. He took his time licking Richie clean, savoring it, savoring the feeling of Richie’s eyes on him. Then, once Richie was clean, he swiped his fingers through the bit of come on his own stomach and sucked those clean as well. 

“God damn, I hit the fucking jackpot,” Richie whispered in awe. “I’m trying to think of a ‘blast off’ pun, but you just blew my mind.”

Mike giggled and snuggled into him, kissing his cheek. Then, he murmured in his ear, “You’re out of this world.”

Richie looked at him with wide eyes. “Marry me?”

They were both still giggling as their lips met.

taglist: @clouded-eyes-and-salty-tears @reddie4thesinbin @deadlighturis @constantreaderfool @reddieloserz @jessicaheartsderry @vegetarian-avocado @tinyarmedtrex @sml1104 @reddie-for-anything@itfandomprompts @billbenbev

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

That behind closed doors vid eh? I took the time to change the angle/darkness on them for my own viewing so by comparing them to the other videos, my screengrabs might seem a little different, but that’s just bc i changed the pitch and yaw settings and adjusted the brightness.

spoilers technically bc this wasn’t released to the public by gearbox, so venture forth at your own risk. nothing story-wise, as far as i’m aware, though.

alright it took me a while to get things settled as i had to keep adjusting the saturation and stuff for different scenes but i am here and i am ready to ANALYZE

as we pop into sanctuary-III we notice a new quest which I am like 40% sure is named “Going Rogue” which... is a pretty interesting name. “Being Reguo” is what I actually see but I don’t think that’s it.

we also have a couple of guns in the vending machine

+3- Weapon Charge Speed so we know Maliwan guns have charge time so I’m glad there are perks to reduce that.

a sniper sold by Amara

more reduced charge speed + melee damage

Jakobs Assault Rifle! Bonus crit damage (hoping ARs are actually viable this time around), weapon accuracy, melee. 

I can’t read it, but I am assuming this is the rare spawn notification

this seems like a hub for the rare enemy missions! that is so awesome

2 of the rare enemies we can fight i am assuming

some more. i actually thought the far left, 2nd over was zer0

“I know it sounds impossible, but you’re going to have to stop the Unstoppable”.

In-Game friend’s list

5 tabs, one of them looks like a key, maybe there are friend codes across consoles? Idk what the first tab is named, but they have 7 friends online. I believe the bottom one (Moze) is you and the top one is the person you’ll be joining? It shows what quest you’re on under your name. And for some reason there’s an icon of claptrap at the top, that very well may be the current player’s icon (as it’s also above Moze and it says gunner in the box). You can edit your status apparently, but idk what status means. there’s also a button for View Inventory.

viewing the inventory rn

edit group button below ur icon/profile

new area

the unstoppable man goliath himself

more of the new area

1 (one) fear: The Unstoppable

he can apparently throw shit at us like Bullymongs did

F in chat for Zane

You can also shoot them out of the air

“Don’t leave empty [handed?]”

zoomer is so fucking cute

he threw the tire thing and it flew behind him instead of forwards

lmao

also i 100% just noticed this but zoomer is red instead of the normal yellowish, might be bc of a perk or maybe zoomer conforms to zane’s skin as well? could’ve sworn he was wearing the basic bitch outfit tho

moze and ib

can’t tell if this is a skin or not lmao the quality is too terrible

the quest called Sanctuary

i think that is a new skin? it looks black instead of blue but again that may be the quality of the video

oooo that’s different!!!! QUEST TO CUSTOMIZE SANCTUARY FOR THE INHABITANTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 

THIS IS ALSO DIFFERENT!!!!

vs the sanctuary-iii demo below

the behind the doors demo ^

the sanctuary-iii demo v

that’s a different list on the floor!!

the mail menu/tab!!!!!!

New legendary pangolin shield gives nova, storage, and health. does more weapon damage while shields are depleted

“I said bitttttttcccchhhhhh”

Also, those fucking names are brilliant. “Amara (as Amara), CalypsoKilla86 (as Zane), Fl4k (as Moze), MC Hammerlock (as unlisted), Moze (as Moze), SkagLord9000 (as Moze), Captain_Fuzz_Lipp (Offline - picture is Rhys), and Maya (Offline - I think the picture is Maya)

Maxxed-Out Sureshot++

“Thrown weapon MIRVs into 3 projectiles”

“Are you sure? Are you sure you want to send this item? Sent mail cannot be returned.”

EDGELORD ZANE FLYNT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

GRANDPA NEVER GREW OUT OF HIS HOT TOPIC PHASE TGSHDTJYRUKJETHYRWTEQ

Moze heads! cool top hat skull

Moze skins

spooky scary. reminds me of Zer0′s pirate skin from captain scarlett

MOZE COLORS AND IT’S REAL WE GET TO PICK OUR COLOR SCHEMES THANK YOU OMG

GEARBOX ACTUALLY LET ME BE GAY IM YELLING

Moze emotes

it looks like there is a wheel for emotes!!!

so far we see finger guns and a little heart. we also know there’s a wave and we’ve seen amara do the chicken dance.

Amara, and some of her heads

birb

her hair holy shit that’s gorgeous

is that a crimson raider helmet? that’s badass as fuck goddamn

marcuS?

oh no Amara’s a furry now

drop from the rare enemy we see in the moze gameplay, maybe?

psycho cultist mask

warfstache?

Amara skins

spooky. guessing there will be a halloween skin event?

Fl4k!

i think this is their VIP reward head

Fl4k skins that change patterns

looks like a hawaiian shirt pattern on their jacket

camo

glow?

idk but it looks awesome

looks wintery to me, idk, maybe a floral print?

Zane heads

Soldier 76 reference i am guessing? I don’t play overwatch, im talking about the gay soldier guy with the visor lmao

space dandy fucked dirk im-

there are also gun charms

amara’s arm

buttstallion’s tail iirc

claptrap charm!

... eye of the destroyer? i think? needs more teeth

i have no idea lmao

fl4k’s doggy bowl!

helios hmmm

jack’s mask D:

moxxi’s hat

psycho mask

RHYS’S MOUSTACHE LMFAO

?????

tina’s bunny

a toaster? finally i can go swimming with my guns-

gearbox logo

weapon skins:

more eden 6:

is that is that an atlas building i see? or maybe thats SUPAMAX MFG!! they said we’d find a lot of crashed ships on Eden-6 (hey shoutout to my one post that said that the ship with bugs in it was gonna be the B-Team’s crashed ship that stranded them there, I WAS SO CLOSE)

may be supamax mfg

TINA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

looks they they’ve been living in the abandoned center (Jakobs? is it actually?)

Jakobs manor in the background

“Issarians” “Sarians” I dunno but they’re lil dinosaur thingies

more jakobs manor

i like the mix of old-timey shit and holograms/neon lights

this place is fucking huge omg

there’s like a library and everything holy shit

and it all goes to shit when the CoV get in there and hang people with TVs for heads (3rd trailer)

looks like its a basement or smth

volcano?  volcano? volcano? volcano?

(also from the third trailer ^) ARE WE GONNA BLOW UP THE VOLCANO? FUCK YEAH

Jabbers! cat monkey things. they are smart and can use guns

dome - reminds me of the atlas biodome of which cassius is from

(from TFTBL ^)

but it's just empty :|

some of the abandoned ships!

definitely thinking that abandoned factory like area we see (Tina Brick and Mordy in) is SUPAMAX MFG. these ships are SUPER similar to Sanctuary-III

THAT’S SO COOL??? this is straight outta skyrim holy shit. that giant skeleton on the tree holy fuck

looks like some sort of factory area? pump/mining maybe?

omfg lmao

this looks awful lmao but they said there is a gas giant in the sky so i gotta believe them

moze standing in what looks like the main menu

“[Iron Bear] is a little bit scuffed up - she’s seen some action”

they go on to talk about stuff we’ve already seen: about Moze’s action skills (hardpoints) and her skill trees

a better look at Amara’s phasegrasp

The quest is

“Bandit Jabber Hunter Spy”

Zane and Amara running ahead

You can target your missiles to one or multiple enemies at once. that’s fuckin awesome

more of Amara’s phasegrasp

Zane’s clone in action

“Lair of the Harpy”

And that’s it so far. That’s all we got. but holy shit was it a wild ride. I’m soooooo happy we get to pick our own colors for our skin designs. Seriously. So fucking happy. 

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #399

Top Ten Skeletons

It’s Halloween! Wooooooo! Spooky noises! Pretend cobwebs! Too many sweets! Bwahahahaha!

Anyway, now that’s out of the way, on with the list. Dead simple this weekend. Basically, coz it’s Halloween next week, I wanted to do something vaguely ghoulish. And what could be more ghoulish than a skeleton? It’s like a skinnier version of you without all the juices or wobbly bits.

Are skeletons scary? I guess if you saw one ambulating its way towards you then yes, yes they are. But they don’t quite hit the gory heights of zombies, ghosts, or demons when it comes to putting the willies up people (also, technically, none of them even have willies). You can cover them with blood, pus, and bits of rotten flesh, but the more you do then the blurrier the line becomes between zombie and skeleton. It’s for this reason that I’ve excluded the likes of the Cryptkeeper, or Iron Maiden’s Eddie; for me, they’re both too raggedy of skin to be classed as a straight-up skellington.

I take this stuff very seriously.

So, what we have here is a list of ten bone-bags, minus any soppy organs (okay, technically, a few of them appear to have eyes). They run the gamut from sublime to ridiculous, from scary to, well, children’s preschool picture books. They are my favourite set of stiffs, out and about without their wet bits.

Enjoy – if you dare!

Jack Skellington (The Nightmare Before Christmas, 1993): I mean, come on; if we’re talking about skeletons at Halloween we have to talk about the Pumpkin King. He’s literally royalty. Delightfully skinny and bony, he’s a tortured, poetic soul who loves to bring joy and also make you wee yourself a bit. Has a ghost dog. Can take off his head to recite Shakespearean quotation. And marks a disturbing trend of skeletons with faces that look, well, like a normal head with a skull painted on.

Big Skeleton, Little Skeleton, and Dog Skeleton (Funnybones, Janet & Allan Ahlberg, 1980): cheating a bit by including three characters – and already we’re onto our second dead dog mention – but these two dudes and their hound (are they father and son? Brothers? Lovers?) know how to party. They live (or, well – anyway…) to scare, and if they can’t find anyone down a dark, dark street or some dark, dark stairs, they’ll just straight up scare each other. No messing.

Manuel Calavera (Grim Fandango, 1998): our second dubious skull-face, but at least Manny has the excuse that he’s all Día de Muertos-ed up. A wonderfully multifaceted character – part hero, part patsy, sometime Grim Reaper – in a delightfully art deco vision of the afterlife, he’s a joy to inhabit and spend some time with.

Skeleton (SuperTed, 1982): I’m not sure if Skeleton was a fixture in the original SuperTed books, but regardless, he just couldn’t be the same without Melvyn Hayes’ voice work (apologies to the original Welsh actor). Partly it’s the delightfully bonkers premise that appeals – for some reason this teddy bear has, for his villains, a literal cowboy, a fat explorer, and, well, the campest skeleton in all of fiction – but, regardless, Skeleton (for that is he) is a delight, from his shiny round head to his bright pink slippers.

The Children of the Hydra’s Teeth (Jason and the Argonauts, 1963): long before dinosaurs broke from their paddocks, spaceships blew up the White House, or Marvel decided to cast middle-aged men as twenty-year-olds, the most impressive special effect was Ray Harryhausen’s sublime, wonderful, joyous depiction of an army of skeletons rising from the ground to fight real-life human actors. A simply stunning feat of stop-motion, the skeletons imbued with exquisite characterisation, and the choreography just spot-on. Really quite creepy when you’re a kid, too.

Murray the Invincible Demonic Skull (The Curse of Money Island, 1997): our second LucasArts adventure game character, and another one that I guess is technically a cheat. Because Murray is literally just a skull. Does that count as a skeleton? Well it’s certainly a bit of a skeleton, so I’m allowing it. Because Murray is very funny: one part vengeful demonic undead pirate, one part grumpy doorstop. You can pick him up and carry him about! He talks to you! He’s so cool.

Archie the Skeleton (Scotch commercials, 1980s): This is the way it’s going to be, with Scotch’s lifetime guarantee… he’s a well-to-do skeleton with a collar and tie (and slippers again, if I remember rightly) who just wants to tell you about how long Scotch VHS tapes will last. A staple of ‘80s adverts, with a nice design and voice, and it was always good fun to watch stop-motion animation during an ad break. Re-record not fade away, re-record not fade away…

T-800 (The Terminator, 1984): whilst we all obviously think of the Terminator as Arnold Schwarzenegger, I’m raising a glass here to what’s on the inside. The moment when that mechanical endoskeleton emerges from the burning truck, striding through the fire, is simply terrifying, revealing for the first time the inhuman monstrosity that pursues our heroes. It’s vaguely human-shaped in its orientation, but also unquestionably mechanical, with servos and pistons and its glowing red eyes. All capped off, creepily enough, with human teeth. It’s a movie monster, and despite being made of metal, it still counts as a skeleton, so there.

Héctor Rivera (Coco, 2017): one of those characters who starts out like a scoundrel but reveals a heart of gold, Héctor is a great Pixar creation, lovingly brought to vocal life by Gael García Bernal, which is ironic coz he’s dead. Comic relief, guide to a strange new world, best friend-slash-big brother to main character Miguel, Héctor reveals tragic hidden depths as his backstory is uncovered, becoming a hero and inspiring one of the biggest tear-jerking moments in Pixar history (which, let’s face it, is really saying something).

Bones (Quake III Arena, 1999): sometimes in this list I’ve picked characters who generate a real emotional connection, like Manny or Héctor. Sometimes I’ve picked ones who cast visceral, terrifying imagery, like the Terminator or the Hydra’s Teeth. But sometimes you just want to look at a skeleton running round with a bloody big rocket launcher, leaping through the air and shooting dudes in the face. Bones was always a great character to see in Quake III because, well, he’s just a skeleton. Nowt fancy about him. I don’t remember his backstory, such as it was. I don’t remember if there was any tactical advantage to playing as him, if his hit box was smaller or anything. He’s just, well, a skeleton. Running around. Shooting people. And sometimes that’s all you want.

So. That’s it. Oh yeah – no Skeletor. That should be obvious; he’s not a skeleton. He’s got a skull face, but the rest of his body is totally ripped (and blue, natch). He’s just some dude who is alive but who’s got a skull for a face. I mean, yeah, sure, that’s pretty badass, but he’s most clearly not a skeleton.

Also: Death. I had Death on the list for a long time, but really the fact that he’s more of a metaphysical concept than a character dissuaded me (I’ve not read enough Discworld to specifically call out that iteration, for instance). But, for what it’s worth, as simple imagery goes, I do love a skeletal Grim Reaper, especially if he’s allowed some kind of characterisation that runs counter to his appearance.

Anyway, happy Halloween! Cue the music! “This is Halloween, this is Halloween…”

[cuthie]

Omru: Fabled City of Gold?

  A mild cyclone of sand and wind ran across the entrance of a small rocky burrow, masking the sounds of a dozen people chatting, bartering and playing games within. A trio of black furred vulpera were making the most noise, a middle aged woman squeezing a young man hard enough to make his eyes bulge. This, naturally, was followed by ten to fifteen squishy mushy loud wet kisses, “Mwua mwua mwuah!”

Omru gasped for air, “Leggo, leggo!”

  Finally, his mother released him from their embrace, “It’s been too long, Omru. I’m just glad you came to see us before going off on this grand adventure to Django or wherever.”

“It’s Durotar. Lush tropical paradise home of the Orcs.”

  A snarky teenage girl’s voice cut in, “More like Uratard. Cause you’d have to be some kind of stupid to follow those brutes home. They probably spend all day smashing their heads with rocks- Actually Om, you’ll fit right in.

  Om rolled his eyes at his younger sister. This had been his reception for the last hour or so. They’d chat, catch up on things, say hi to nosy vulpera who continuously interrupted their reunion, then his mother would grab him and start kissing and hugging. To be fair, he hadn’t seen her in a few years. In fact, he hadn’t recognized his sister initially. It was almost like looking into a gender bending mirror. Before he always had a height advantage, but now she had finally caught up to him. “Yeeeah. Of course I had to come visit. Oh, where did you say Pops was again?”

  Om’s sister, Elni, pitched in again, “Oh, he went out to get some candles for my birthday cake mom made.”

Om winced, “Oh. Uh, happy birthday El!”

Elni’s face dropped, “Are you serious? That was seven months ago.”

  Mom placed a hand on either side of Om’s face, squishing it, “I’m so glad you came. I was worried that those awful Faithless might have got you. You know there’s a curse on this family, so I never know when we’ll see one another again.”

“A curse on the -men- in this family.” El stuck her tongue out before giving a cheeky grin. “Us women don’t get lost when we get up from bed to pee. Only the boys.”

  Om scratched at the back of his head. He had every intention of reaching Dazar’alor when he had last left Keni and the ‘babes’. Yet somehow he had found himself here, surrounded by family and friends. Heh, there definitely was a family curse; it was the only thing that made sense. It all went back to his no good, dirty, rotten pig stealing great great grandfather. And if his mother found out that the Faithless actually -had- captured him, he’d never hear the end of it. “Yeah, well, curse or no curse, I’ve got a life debt to a goblin that I need to repay.”

“A life debt?” Mom raised a single brow.

“Yeah, I uh, I got trapped in a chasm. And, uh, you know, if it wasn’t for him, I would have died of dehydration.”

El leaned in closer, her eyes squinting with suspicion, “Are you suure that’s what happened?”

“Yes, I’m sure!”

  El pulled her left eyelid down, sticking out her tongue as Omru made the same expression right back at her, “Nyah!” Their mother wasn’t even annoyed by the childishness. It was an expression of fondness for one another, so far as she was concerned. As the pair continued poking at one another, she took the opportunity to host a rare family dinner. It really was a shame their father was out there in the dunes, lost, but it really had been a recurring theme for several generations now.

  Om and El had long quit squabbling by the time food was roasting over the fire pit. The scent of the buzzard meat had the whole cavernous hideaway bringing out their plates and utensils. People would offer their seasonings, wines, desserts, you name it. That was one beautiful aspect of caravan life. People always seemed to come together at the end of the day. One didn’t just have a mother and father. They had a host of ‘aunts’, ‘uncles’ and ‘cousins’, a whole network of friends and family who bonded over the trials and tribulations of the sands.

  For Omru, it was the last such caravan night he would experience in Vol’dun.

--

  Shit shit shit shit shit.

  Omru pressed his back against the cold stone wall, shivers coursing down his spine. His breath rose in a fog before him as he tried to quiet his breathing, his large ears twitching, listening. For a moment there was nothing, only silence. Then came the jagged clattering steps of the skeletal troll, searching for the little fox that had dared defile the resting place of kings and queens with his presence.

  Not that Omru had disturbed the tombs intentionally. At long last he had made it out of the desert, had climbed literal mountains of vivid green moss and vines, and made it to a Zandalari city of gold. It was beautiful, but it was also kind of a shithole. A city made of pure gold, with the bodies of trolls, dinosaurs and oozing puddles of shadow, decay and vomit. Exploded spiders clung to steps with their still attached legs twitching, and as Om descended golden step after step, not a single sign of life stirred.

  That should have been a wake up call, but how many golden cities could there be in the jungle, right? And so the vulpera had explored, poked and prodded. Some of these corpses weren’t native to Zandalar. Large horned bipedal beast men with hooves, slack jawed soldiers that had been dead for ten years at least, and the odd orc or goblin were scattered throughout the streets. Eventually Om found himself deeper and deeper within the city, the temperatures dropping despite lit fires in each room. Cobwebs hung from ceilings and spilled ink blacker than any darkness Omru had ever seen threatened to swallow the entire floor.

  The pacing of the long dead Zandalari echoed through the corridors like the slow rattled ticking of an old clock. Somewhere behind the rotted creature, Omru’s pack lay on the floor ripe for the taking. It mattered only slightly less than his own life did, but what meaning would his life hold if all his stuff was gone, left behind for any passing grave robber to collect?

  A shimmer caught his attention, light dancing atop something long, flat and sharpened, risen and resting atop a stone pedestal. A steel sword with emerald baked into its center. Two feet long, a peculiar shape curving in four different slices, two on the top, two on the bottom. The blade seemed to emit a purple aura around it’s sharpened edges, and like any good Trader slash Explorer, Omru knew exactly what that meant. Magic. Enchanted or cursed? Did it really matter? Would it really make sense to store a cursed sword in a tomb of emperors though?

  The clunky clinking steps seemed to grow louder and louder, perhaps only a few feet away from Omru as he debated. He knew that his stealth magic was no good here. This thing had spotted him an hour ago and he had barely gotten away with his life. What had happened to this city that had risen the dead to unlife? What were those shadowy pools, what was that dark ink? Om shook the questions from his mind as the towering skeleton stepped in front of him, dwarfing him three times over.

  A rusted blade clanged, biting into stone as Omru disappeared from his hiding spot. Somewhere in a realm between worlds, voices called out, shrieking in eternal torment. Those voices were muted and forgotten in the nano seconds between the fox’s disappearing reappearing trick. In a little poof, Omru was behind the skeleton, kicking at the back of it’s kneecap with a furry foot. The skeleton did not even buckle.

“Shit!”

  A trio of small throwing knives were sent into the rib cage of Omru’s enemy. Literally, slipping right through the bones, bouncing within the sloshing interior of bones and guts. Wait, guts? No, this thing was too dead to have any guts. Why would- Omru barely ducked out of the way of another sword slash. No time for thinking here, only doing.

  Running as fast as his paws would take him, Omru ran to the shining enchanted-or-cursed sword, gripping it by the hilt with two hands and pulling it free.

‘You wield de dagger of Isgi, daughter of de Assassin Queen o’Zandalar. Continue my work an slice de troats of de unworthy.’

  Omru’s eyes widened. Continue the work of, wait, dagger? This thing was almost as big as him, how was it a dagger? Still, it was light enough to be held in a single hand comfortably. As the skeletal troll rushed forward, Omru squinted his eyes at his enemy and concentrated. His legs bent at the knee, then shot him up forward with the slight aid of supernatural force. The skeleton attempted to parry, only for Omru to disappear, reappearing behind the creature, airborne.

  In a series of attacks, Om would strike the skeleton with his new glowing weapon, then disappear, four, five, six times in a row. Each attack hit harder than the last, emphasized by vulgarity, “Fuck.”

“You,”

“You”

“Piece”

“Of”

“Shit!”

  The last strike sent the skeleton sprawling onto the ground, falling apart. Literally, with no muscles, ligaments or fibers connecting anything, all the bones just kind of clattered to the ground, the skull landing upside down with broken tusks digging into the dusty stone floor.

  Omru rotated his right shoulder backwards, making a popping sound, as he caught his breath. For good measure he kicked at the skull with his foot, half expecting it to levitate or explode or something. Nope, nothing. Bright orange eyes fixated on his new enchanted weapon. There was something here, alright. He didn’t know what, but he could feel it in his gut. He hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary during the fight. He was, after all, an experienced scavenger of Vol’dun. Staying alive was an art form there, and he had picked up a dozen tricks. Perhaps the magic was just in how light the blade seemed to be. Sometimes magick was just that obvious and simple. Purple glowing aura? Makes the blade a quarter of its original weight. Boom, easy. To be certain, he would have to call on an expert. Before he could do that, he had to grab his stuff and find the -REAL- city of Dazar’alor.

[sincognito]

The Stranger | Primeval Underfell | Ch 1

Universe: Underfell x Primeval

Ships: Spicyhoney, Puppymoney, Twistedpuppymoney

Overview: An introduction to my Underfell Primeval Papyrus known as 'Saber'. Not many people know the character or the show I'm doing the crossover with, but you don't need any knowledge of the show to read this as I'll explain the concept as I go along. All you need to know is that it's essentially Undertale + Time Travel + Dinosaurs :3

Warnings: Animal/Dinosaur Death

A/N: I do have a normal, Undertale version of a Primeval crossover, but that story has not been finished so I will not be using any of the characters from that series

Read on AO3

Next

Buy me a KoFi?

It was a freezing evening in the midst of winter when Rus first saw the strange monster for the first time. He was bundled up in the heavy jacket he was wearing, trying his best to keep every inch of his body covered and protected against the fierce wind that tore at his bones and threw snow up into the air. He was beginning to regret turning down Edge’s offer of a ride back home in the car rather than walking.

He was close to home, wandering along the path that bordered the local woods, when he heard an odd sound to his side. The skeleton looked up, squinting through the snow and into the dark forest beyond. There was a bright, glowing light in the distance that seemed to illuminate all of the trees nearby, and he could clearly see someone moving about in the shadows.

Shrugging it off as nothing more than someone doing some late-night work, Rus continued on his way home. It was unfortunate that he only managed to get a few further steps before an ear-splitting shriek had him jerking in surprise. He whirled around in time to get a glance at the animal that knocked him off his feet and into the snow with a heavy thump.

The large, feathered creature lunged at him, its jaws clamping down around the fluffy jacket that shielded his neck. It yanked at the material, easily tearing through the clothes and breaking off chunks of stuffing that it quickly began to gnaw on.

Rus was completely stupefied, frozen in place while he watched the creature destroying what had been his hoodie only moments ago. Its lithe body was crouched closely to the ground as its blade-like claws and sharpened teeth tore at the soft material, shaking it back and forth as though trying to kill the inanimate object.

When the raptoresque animal had realised it had not grabbed anything worth consuming, its large, brown eyes narrowed on Rus once more. The large feathers of the raptor’s crest rose high into the air as it took a step towards the monster, its teeth curled back in an ugly snarl while it hissed and chirped.

Rus couldn’t move, his whole body frozen as his soul thundered against his ribcage when the reptile began to bear down on him. It was when the animal paused, shifting its body into the position to pounce on its prey when an attack shot through the air, striking the raptor’s side and drawing a pained scream.

Before it could recover from the devastating attack, the monster responsible for the bone weapon leapt at it, another large, crimson blade within their grasp. They brought the attack down hard on the dinosaur, spearing cleanly through its neck, the momentum just enough for the monster to snap through the vertebrae with a sickening crack. The creature paused, a brief moment of realisation passing through its eyes before it slumped, all life drained from its body in an instant.

Rus looked up at the other monster, recalling finally how to breathe. At first he had thought Edge had been the one to jump to his defence, but upon closer inspection, it seemed that it was a completely different skeleton, albeit one with a similar appearance. The other looked down at him, scowling in disapproval shortly before he turned away to look back at the deceased raptor.

He studied the carcass for a long moment before reaching down and grasping the animal’s tail firmly in one hand. Without a word, a began to drag it through the snow and towards the distant glowing light, leaving behind a trail of red snow.

“W-Wait!” Rus finally shouted, his body finally obeying his commands once more as he scrambled shakily to his feet to stumble after the receding figure. His coat forgotten and the adrenaline slowly wearing from his body, he was forced to curl his arms tightly around himself, wondering how the other monster was walking around clad in only some thin clothes and completely bare foot.

“Wait up,” Rus continued, noticing that the other monster didn’t seem to have noticed his words, or perhaps was ignoring him, “Who the hell are you, and what the hell was that?” he demanded, trying his best to keep his racing mind from throwing too many questions at the stranger at once. “Are you even listening? Who ar-”

Rus yelped when the stranger rounded on him, his hold on the raptor forgotten as he snatched Rus’ neck, holding him against the nearest tree. Despite being slightly shorter than him, the other skeleton seemed to have no problem leaving Rus dangling in his grip, and he was forced to desperately claw at the other’s hand to try and relieve some of the pressure from his neck.

The monster looked him over, seeming to check him before scoffing slightly, dropping Rus unceremoniously to the cold snow below. He shook his head, grabbing the dinosaur’s limb again before proceeding back towards the strange light. “Leave now,” the skeleton growled, refusing to look back at Rus, “You were lucky this time.”

Rus had many questions, but he also had an overriding sense of self-preservation, and with the aching pain in his chest from when he was thrust into the icy ground several moments ago and the slight stinging of his neck, he decided it best to heed the other’s words. While it might have been his only chance to find out what strange happenings were occurring in the woods in the middle of the night, he was in no hurry to throw himself into danger so soon after reaching the surface.

After taking a moment to gather himself, Rus used the tree he had been momentarily pinned against as leverage to help himself to his feet before he quickly turned, running back the way he’d come and towards home. He was late, and Blue would be sure to throw a fit over the damage to his brand new jacket.

 The second time Rus encountered the skeleton was one late summer afternoon, a year on from the first meeting. He’d left the cool sanctuary of the local shopping mall and was wandering the small market stalls that popped up every Saturday. There were farmers showing off their fresh produce, artists offering their specially crafted pieces, and so many other strange and wonderous items sat on sale that it often felt a little overwhelming.

The skeleton stood in the shade of one of the tents, looking over the handful of beaded jewellery that lay out across the table before him. No one he knew had a fondness for fancy necklaces and bracelets, but there was no harm in looking at the pretty jewels. From the corner of his eye, Rus was startled briefly when he thought he saw Edge walking through the nearby crowd.

He moved away from the stall, taking a closer look at the monster who bore such a close resemblance to his friend, but was clearly very different in presentation. The monster wore long, dark green trousers that had many a tear and a thin tank top that seemed to also have its fair share of damage. His whole body was smeared with greens and browns as though he had been rolling around in the grass, yet he seemed not to notice his rather dishevelled appearance.

The torn fabric, however, was nowhere near as badly broken as the other skeleton’s bones seemed to be, littered with poorly healed scars and fractures. It was then he realised, that it was likely the stranger he had encountered many moons ago. Fortunately, he began to inspect a nearby clothing display, allowing Rus to continue to observe him without seeming too suspicious. He began to look through the clothes as well, keeping an eye on the stranger.

The monster selected a pair of long, black trousers, looking them over quickly before holding them up to his hip to ensure they were an appropriate size. With that, he began to walk away, clothes still in hand. No one else seemed to notice his presence at all and had Rus not been watching so closely, he would have been able to simply take the clothing.

“I hope you plan on paying for those,” Rus stated, stepping out from the rows of clothing racks to speak to the taller monster.

The other skeleton’s crimson eye lights had the same fierceness to them as Edge, his features strikingly familiar if not for the crack running down the bottom of his jaw rather than across his eye. At first when the monster looked at Rus there was anger, but then there was a hint of amusement deep within them as the monster grinned, apparently also realising they had met before. Glancing back to ensure that the shopkeeper was still preoccupied with customers he held out a hand to Rus.

Something was placed into his hand by the monster, and Rus was quick to look down at the wet object now in his grasp. He almost dropped it when he realised that it was, in fact, a living creature that he had received, and one that looked rather similar to a cockroach at first glance. However, once he looked closer, Rus was amazed to find that he was holding a living trilobite.

It twitched and squirmed, obviously not used to being removed from its watery home. Rus looked up, only to find that the other monster had seemingly vanished into thin air along with his stolen goods. With all the grace of a headless chicken, Rus raced along the marketplace, asking every store tender he came across until he found a small plastic tub filled with water.

He breathed a sigh of relief when the tiny animal began to happily swim around in its temporary enclosure. Of course, it couldn’t be a permanent solution – Rus knew nothing about looking after an extinct arthropod – and so he was quick to take a short cut back to his home, muttering a quick apology to the small animal for the rather disorientating sensation of teleportation. Not that it would understand him.

With the trilobite safely placed on the kitchen counter, Rus pulled out his phone, dialling up his good friend Undyne and immediately beginning to question her on everything she knew about the animal that had been extinct only a few minutes ago. He then teleported to the nearby shopping centre, walking swiftly to the small pet shop on the corner.

Mentally thanking the stars that he’d been paid already that week, Rus purchased a small fish tank, water filter, and a bag full of ‘feeder fish’ as they were labelled. Undyne had informed him that most trilobites fed on a diet of small, aquatic worms, and so he hoped that the small fish would be enough to keep it satisfied.

[citrusbones]

A spark of Memory

@rexcellente​ | ((Posting logs bc they pertain to the event.))

Just like Citrus had done to him with his hoodie, Rex takes it from the pile and pulls it down over Citrus’, arms enclosed inside. 

At least it isn’t an almost tight fit like the hoodie was for Rex, not that he would ever complain about it. Honestly, he hopes wearing the thing might give the (slightly) shorter skeleton a sense of familiarity. Certain things might have the trigger to them, so it never hurt to try.

-

There's a muffled 'NYEH!?!' as that hoodie is basically manhandled over his head, the skeleton squirming as it popped over his head, and then was dragged down his shoulders and arms. He feels like an awkward, lanky child, being dressed by a parent. Once Rex had finished, he looked down at what he was wearing. Its that same shirt. 

The one that said 'Rexcellent'.

Its. Not terrible. Actually, it feels kind of...familiar. In a good way.

-

Rex takes a moment to look at his friend, grinning, rather pleased with himself. Though he can’t stifle a laugh, not just an amused chuckle, but a genuine laugh.

“Ya don’t have to keep it on, but ya did that to me when ya gave the hoodie. Still think it looks better on ya than it did me. How does it feel though?”

Honestly, Rex is really enthralled in this interaction. Then again he just really missed Citrus, so hes just happy to be in the same room as him.

-

There is a minute of silence as he slowly works his arms up and through the holes of the shirt. He's still looking down at it, fingers smoothing out the wrinkled, rumpled face of the dinosaur. Rexcellent. 

Because Rex was an excellent friend, probably. This is a punny shirt.

Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiff.

[*Smells like a gay weenie.]

“.....I like it.” -

“Heh. Glad ya still like it. 'm pre' sure ya wore that thing for like... weeks.”

He's teasing, but also not because it was true. He wonders how long it'll be now, considered the damn thing probably still hasn't been washed. Rex just grins looking to the other. He's sure he probably looks like a doof, just looking at the other grinning brightly.  What a gay.

-

There's something tingling at the back of his head. And for a moment, his eye-light's scatter, shining like vibrant stars against dark sockets.

Rex is sitting on an over-sized beanbag, looking relaxed and chill. Hands quickly yank orange fabric over the others head, taking great care not to disturb the giant hole in the side of his skull, working the hoodie down until Rex's head had popped out the neck, the garment stretched comfortably around the others shoulders, the front stretched out somewhat by a pair of arms hidden beneath it.

A warm smile forms on their face, a laugh is heard and Citrus feels his heart swell fondly.

Citrus sags back against the couch suddenly, eyes vacant. In his head, another scene is playing.

The Sour skeleton is the one sitting on the beanbag now, holding the hoodie-wearing skeleton in his lap, two arms round his neck, while teeth clink against various parts of his skull as Rex thanks Citrus with a few grateful smooches. His heart feels even warmer.

In the waking world, the front of that shirt has taken on an orange glow.

[*Citrus has regained a memory.*]

[plasticgardenicons]

The Straight and Narrow

Louis Zoeltzky was legally drunk and in no condition to touch the tip of his nose with his fingertips when Officer Blatt pulled him over on the Belt Parkway to make this strange request. Moreover, when Officer Blatt asked him to walk a straight line, he answered that he had walked the straight and narrow his whole life and he saw no good reason why he should be making an exhibition of it now.  Officer Blatt was not impressed.

 Looking west, Louis noticed the Verazzano Bridge.  It was a bridge that loomed in the early morning dusk like the skeleton of a great dead dinosaur. Of course, he couldn’t be sure if it really was the skeleton of a great dead dinosaur, or if it was just his mind cajoling him with the promise of something fantastic hidden beneath the raw iron and illumined bulbs. He decided to get a second opinion.

 Officer Blatt, who had just reentered his vehicle and spoke into his radio something about a DWI, told Louis to “Keep his goddamned filthy mouth shut,” when Louis proposed the question. Louis was left to make his own conclusions: the bridge was actually the petrified remains of an Apatosaurus or perhaps a Diplodocus, or some other great and ancient herbivorous sauropod stuck in its watery…Officer Blatt’s egg-shaped head froze Louis in mid thought.

 Something about his appearance was not all together right, as if Officer Blatt were somehow inappropriately dressed for his particular profession.  Perhaps it was the bright orange hair that formed a large, poofy semi-circle around his white skull. Or maybe it was the bulbous red nose Louis had somehow overlooked before, but now, staring into the rear view mirror, was able to gaze at from time to time without Officer Blatt noticing. Eventually Louis also noticed the red painted frown over Blatt’s mouth. It was this slow accumulation of details regarding Officer Blatt’s person that encouraged him to question the reality of the whole situation. He gazed out the window. Perhaps I’m not really in the back seat of this police car. I bet I’m still at Monica’s party; sleeping in the corner of the living room, behind the ugly ceramic tiger. Maybe she’ll come and wake me up.

 Monica’s beauty always depressed Louis. Looking at Monica was a sacrifice for every other part of Louis’ body that could not hold her the way his eyes did. If his eyes had hands he would have remembered her body in exquisite detail, not one curve, one hair, one line overlooked. At the party, Louis knew it wouldn’t be long before he drowned himself for want of her. Her friendly kiss on his cheek and her unsympathetic refusal to ask him into her bedroom where they would both undress and he would again be privy to a beauty the rest of the party on the patio could only dream of, the way one dreams of angels perhaps, rendered him a patch of raw and blistered skin oozing cheap rum and coke.

 “Wake up, wake up!” Louis commanded himself.

Blatt was giggling to himself in the front seat.

“Wakeup, wakeup, wakeup, wakeup!”

A feeling of claustrophobia overcame Louis. He became increasingly aware of a tightness around his wrists. Perhaps this is just a hallucination. Maybe I’m not waking up because I’m already awake. He began to recall certain episodes from his childhood, when he was five or six, how he would jump from his sleep in the middle of the night and find strange figures standing over his bed. Sometimes they were green and glowing, in the shape of bowling pins, or at other times, bright and abstract shapes on the wall. He knew he couldn’t call his parents because they were always busy fighting or screaming or leaving on long walks outside because they “couldn’t take it anymore,” so he never told them. One particular incident that tripped around his head was the night he awoke to the sound of shuffling feet outside his bedroom door. When he opened it, he saw a line of clowns walking single file into his kitchen and disappearing somewhere behind the refrigerator. He touched one and they instantaneously vanished, and he was left in the dark.

 Louis tapped Officer Blatt on the back of his head. Officer Blatt pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned abruptly in his seat, “if you so much as lay a pinky on me once more, I’ll take that as a threat to my personal safety and beat the living shit out of you. Do you understand me scumbag?” Louis noticed for the first time, Officer Blatt’s face in its entirety.  Not only did he have a red frown painted over his mouth, but he had three blue teardrops painted under his left eye, falling behind his red globular nose.

 “Louis, I invited you to this party because I wanted you to have a good time. I didn’t expect you to drink yourself into oblivion.” Monica wiped Louis’s forehead with a cool wash cloth as he sat on the cold bathroom floor beside the toilet.

“what the hell did you eat for dinner tonight anyway?” Monica asked. One more thing to love about Monica, Louis thought in his fog and haze, nothing grosses her out, “I don’t remember.”

“Louis, I think you should go lie down in the guest room.” She fixed his shirt and wiped the vomit from his chest and chin. Louis looked up at her.

“why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why do you love her?”

“Louis, I don’t think we should start this discussion up again.”

“Does she pleasure you in ways I can’t?”

“Louis, that’s enough,” Monica stopped and stared at him, her face oscillating between waves of disgust and pity.

“I thought you loved me?”

“I just cleaned the vomit from your fucking face and all over my bathroom and am carrying you to a clean bed.  Is that not enough love for you, Louis?  How much more fucking love do you need?”

“we could have a three-some,” Louis said half jokingly.

“go the fuck to sleep and please be gone before I wake up in the morning.” Monica flipped the switch.  The room went dark.  Louis could hear people laughing in the light behind Monica. Monica closed the door.

 So I can be sure I’ve actually passed out in Monica’s guest bed, Louis thought. A sensation of disgust surged through his entire body. Would it have been such a terrible sin to let me sleep in her bed? His eyes rolled slowly over the handcuffs. They seemed ridiculously large and exaggerated.  

 The car pulled up in front of an enormous circus tent, wavering silently in the wind under the glow of gallows-like orange streetlights. The rest of the street was a desperate, whisperish darkness. The walls of the tent bulged and receded like the chest of a dormant giant. Officer Blatt opened the car door and pulled Louis from his seat. As he stepped out of the car, Louis accidentally stepped on Blatt’s large purple shoes, which immediately emitted a staccato squawk. The look Officer Blatt gave Louis terrified him, as Officer Blatt shoved him towards the tent. The closer Louis got to the tent the more convinced he became that he would wake up at any minute. An unpolished oak desk stretched the entire length of the tent, which Louis approximated to be at least 200 feet. At the very end of the desk was an empty folding chair and a dimly lit desk lamp.

 “Wait here,” Officer Blatt said. “Officer Chicopaulo is out feeding the elephants.”

 Louis heard the squawking of Blatt’s shoes.  He heard the door of the police car slam shut. The sound of the engine diminishing in the distance. Until there was no sound in the dark but Louis, quietly weeping.

[themalicealyce]

Sarcasm and Puns: Chapter Five

Summary:  You're an introverted person, have been all of your life but it wasn't as if you were shy, you were just content to have your only friends be your brother and your roommate. Though when your brother's young daughter makes friends with the human ambassador of monsters you open up to the idea of having a larger group of friends.

Rating: M

The sun hung low in the sky as you pulled up to Toriel's house in the passenger seat of your brother's car. He had drove just outside the bustle of the city and parked in front of what looked like a cozy little suburban cottage with a couple cars already parked around it.

"Nice place." Gabriel commented with an appreciative whistle as he helped Morrigan out of the car.

"Seriously." You agreed but you couldn't feel jealous. You loved your apartment and living in the middle of the busy city.

Your niece, so cute in her red dress, grabbed Gabe's hand trying her best to drag him along the walkway up to the door, excitement glowing in her large eyes while you were sure your own betrayed your fraying nerves instead. Gabriel laughed lazily and indulgently walked with her to the front of the house, leaving you to follow a few steps behind.

"Can I ring the bell?" Morrigan asked with thinly veiled enthusiasm giving Gabriel big, pleading puppy dog eyes as she played with the hem of her dress in nervous excitement.

"Sure thing honey." He smiled sweetly and easily picked her up, lifting her so she could reach the door bell.

Morrigan giggled happily and reached out to press the button, causing noise to erupt from inside the house.

You could hear heavy footsteps running through the house and a couple of loud, yet muffled voices. Gabriel barely had enough time to pull Morrigan back, protectively drawing her flush against his chest, before the door swung open and a towering skeletal creature leaned halfway out of the doorway. He was shorter than Toriel from what you could tell, but still much taller than you or your brother. The creature, a skeleton, stood easily over six foot tall. You had jumped back, shocked at the sudden sight of the intimidating looking skull watching the three of you with rapt interest before trying to calm your rapidly beating heart. The more you thought about it, the monster didn't look threatening really, just eager and you scolded yourself internally for being scared. He was wearing a baggy, hand-knit looking sweater with the words 'COOL DUDE' made up of tiny bones written across it, dress pants, and a pair of ridiculous red boots he didn't really scream grim reaper. It was hard not to react though, he just jump-scared the fuck out of you.

You checked on your niece out of the corner of your eye, but she had quickly gone from covering her face with her small hands and squeaking in surprise from the sudden screaming, to peeking out between her fingers and watching the skeleton cautiously. Gabriel also looked a bit apprehensive, but that was mostly more for his daughter's sake than his own.

"GREETINGS HUMANS AND TINY HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" the skeleton boomed exuberantly, striking a heroic and proud pose. At his full height and volume, he could easily scare a child, but nothing in his tone or body language actually seemed threatening. Looking past him, you noticed Frisk a few steps behind him with a hand covering her mouth looking like she was giggling.

Toriel had quickly appeared at the door next to the skeleton with a small apologetic smile. "Oh dear, I see you've all met Papyrus." she sighed slightly before smiling more genuinely. “I hope he didn’t startle you.” She spoke calmly, smilingly softly at Morrigan in particular. Morrigan shook her head “Nuh uh! I’m not scared!”

Frisk, at Toriel’s side, nodded as if agreeing that no one could find him scary.

"WHY OF COURSE, THE GREAT PAPYRUS ALWAYS MAKES THE BEST FIRST IMPRESSION! I MAY BE VERY INTIMADATING WHEN I WISH, BUT I AM A GENTLEMAN ABOVE ALL ELSE!" He shifted to a different pose, this one less heroic and more dapper. At least you think that was his intent, but it was either his lanky skeletal form or what might have been doubt in his facial expression that lead him to not quite pulling it off. Your niece seemed to get over the monster's loud voice very quickly, instead giggling at his antics. She extended her hand from where she was still hoisted up by her father. "Hiya Mister I'm Morrigan!"

Papyrus looked very relived by her response and took her hand in his much larger one and shook it with a renewed enthusiastic vigor. "Nice to meet you Tiny Human!" his voice still boisterous but he was no longer yelling.

The dark look drained away from your brother's face as he heard Morrigan speaking confidently and happily, once again completely at ease nodding in greeting to Papyrus and Toriel.

You couldn't help but smile at his energy. It reminded you a lot of Vincent. You used to think it would completely drain you coming from anyone else, but you guessed you were making new exceptions tonight. "Hey Toriel." you returned her smile before turning to the skeleton. "I- uh I would shake your hand too but uh..." you let the sentence trail off awkwardly as you shifted with your hands full. Instead, you raised the large cookie platter showing that you were otherwise occupied.

"OH! I see! Well no worries human! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, shall take that delicious burden for you!" he posed again before taking the tray from your hands and sprinted back in to the house disappearing before you could argue the issue. “Well, uh… ok. Thanks?” You offered, but he was already gone.

Toriel chuckled in a soft, motherly way as she watched the skeleton run past her. She stepped aside allowing the three of you room to enter her house. "Please, do come in."

Gabriel put Morrigan down and she was running as soon as she hit the ground. She speedily made her way into the house and to Frisk, showing off her dress, already rambling on amenably to the nodding mute who dragged her away, a mischievous light in her eyes as she followed after the cookies with your niece in tow.

You stepped just inside the living room after your brother, and closed the door behind your group. You smiled fondly, finding Toriel and Gabe observing the children interact with matching tender expressions. Already calmed from your previous worrying, the cozy family feeling washed over you. You could feel a stupidly happy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth and again for the second time in the past few days you were excited to make new friends. You shoved the thought down and your hands into your pockets now that they were unused and feeling awkward.

Toriel guided you and your brother further inside a moment after they let Frisk lead Morrigan out of the room as she looked intent on showing her around the house. Gabriel and Toriel let them be as they entered the dining room with you following behind, causing you to feel a bit like a lost puppy.

The kitchen door opened, allowing a snippet of a loud conversation to spill out as a chubby, yellow monster backed out with a nervous stammer. She was shorter than either Toriel or Papyrus, by a lot. She was actually short, a bit taller than your roommate and looked kind of like a dinosaur with shimmering pale scales and ridges down her spine. You'd never seen a timid, dress-wearing dinosaur before.

She spun around only to jump with a scared squeak, nearly knocking the glasses off her face. "I-i'm s-sorry... I d-didn't know y-you would be here s-so soon..." her apology trailed off as she wrung her hands together, her eyes trained on the floor.

"Alphys this is the young lady I was telling you about, and her brother Gabriel." Toriel spoke calmly, ignoring the monster's stuttering outburst. "Hey." Gabriel gave his normal lazy mock salute in casual greeting causing Alphys to look up slightly with an attempted smile.

"Hi." you tried to give a placating smile, but it probably came across just as nervous as hers. “Sorry for, uh, startling you?" You jabbed Gabriel in the ribs when he snorted at you. Mocking your awkward attempt at socialization.

“O-oh! Oh no!” She waved her clawed hands frantically. “It’s not y-your fault! I-I’m sorry.” She stuttered and muttered. She buried her blushing face in her hands still muttering quietly to herself.

Toriel frowned, about to take a step forward to comfort the short, self-deprecating monster. You didn’t see her however because you had already moved closer. Your steps were a bit slow and cautious, not wanting to really set her off any further and a little unsure in your own ability to calm her. You’ve dealt with Vincent’s panic attacks, you could handle this, right?

“Hey, your name is Alphys right? That’s a pretty cool name.” You offered, now standing closer, yet not close enough to crowd her.

She blushed harder into her hands, “R-really? It’s k-kind of nerdy.” She spoke into her hands still, but she said it a loud and clear enough for you to make out.

“Na, it’s much cooler than my name.” You smiled, telling her your own name in a dismissive manner.

“Oh no! D-don’t say that, your name is perfectly fine.” She said taking her head out of her hands and looking up at your face again. She gasped quickly after saying it and launch into a ramble, “I didn’t m-mean that! N-not that your name i-isn’t fine i-t’s just that i-t’s m-more than fine! I-It’s a great name. I’m s-so sorry I d-didn’t mean t-to m-make fun of i-it or anyth-”

You cut her off, she didn’t look like she took a single breath through the entire thing. “No, it’s fine I knew what you meant.” You shrugged. “O-oh, good.” She nodded though she still looked flustered and unconvinced.

Toriel had guided your brother to the table and they took up chairs to continue their chat after seeing that you two were in good hands. They were sharing parenting stories from the sounds of it. You noticed the big open arch that connected the room to the living room and you immediately found yourself drawn to the large bookshelf by the fireplace as soon as you saw it.

Seeing as Toriel seemed occupied you left her to her own devices and walked over to the bookcase as you continued to talk to Alyphs. “This bookshelf is really packed huh?” Your eyes sparkled as you approached it, you loved to read and if you could afford the space in your apartment for a bookcase this ornate you would’ve got on in a minute, rather you owned a library card and only bought books you loved too much to give up.

“You like to read?” The lizard-like monster asked, following timidly behind you.

“Oh yeah.” You agreed easily, nodding as your eyes roamed over the titles of the worn, well-read books.

“What kind of books do you like?” She asked curiously.

You shrugged again, wondered how many facts one really even wanted to know about snails, because really that was a lot of books about snails. “Anything really: sci-fi, fantasy, the occasional non-fiction book when it catches my interest. Anything and everything. I used to be really into manga but I kinda fell out of the scene and I don’t even know what’s good anymore.” You shrugged.

Alphys’s eyes lit up and she looked like she was going to speak up when you heard yelling over the already ruckus clanking coming from the kitchen.

"WOWIE UNDYNE! I DIDN'T KNOW WATER COULD EVEN CATCH FIRE LIKE THAT!" Came Papyrus’s voice from the noisy room.

"I uh... Well... I MEAN OF COURSE PUNK! But... Maybe we should cover that pot?" The equally exuberant voice of, who you could only guess, was Undyne, responded with unshakeable confidence that wilted slightly with concern near the end.

"Yeah, you should really put a lid on it." you mumble to yourself before even thinking about it. Groaning when you heard what you said and silently cursing Vincent’s bad puns for rubbing off on you.

Alphys glanced nervously at the door before looking over to Toriel "Y-you did c-cook before they t-took over the kitchen r-right?" she asked in a hushed voice.

Toriel nodded knowingly, small smirk playing on her snout. Alphys let out a relieved breath, but quickly looked worried again. "D-don't tell her I asked t-that p-please?"

You shot your brother a concerned look. Dinner was starting to sound like a scary experience between the fire and lack of confidence in those in the kitchen. He merely shrugged, seemingly unaffected by the possibility. Toriel was, thankfully, unaware of your silent conversation as she was once again placating a panicky Alphys with a few kind words and a soft smile. The kitchen door burst open as if it was kicked with great force. It flung open so hard you thought it nearly flew off of its hinges. You instinctively stumbled a few steps back, away from the violent action nearly feeling the need to take cover.

The door aggressor turned out to be a tall, smirking monster. Why were so many monsters so tall? Her teeth were sharp, though they were more like a mouthful of fangs. She had miraculous cyan scales, thinner and more pearlescent than Alphys’s matte, thick ones. She also had some sort of fins or gills for ears, poking out from her vibrant red hair which was pulled back in a tight pony tail. She was equal parts beautiful and terrifying as she strode into the room with Papyrus following adoringly at her heels.

From where you stood, which was fairly removed from the dining room due to your early retreat, you saw her lock eyes with your brother and her smirk morphed into a dangerous snarl.

"Hey nerd!" she growled, pointing rather dramatically across the room at your older brother.

"U-un-Undyne?" Alphys stuttered worriedly, taking several short steps towards the blue fish woman, holding her hands out as if trying to subdue her but not really knowing how.

"Oh, hey.” Gabriel nodded in recognition. “What are the odds of seeing you here? How'd those tats heal up?" Gabriel asked easily, apparently unconcerned by her Amazonian appearance and demeanor.

As quickly as she grew fierce, it melted into an enthusiastic smile. "Hell yeah nerd! They’re pretty awesome, check it out!" she slung off her light jacket, tossing it towards Alphys, revealing her black tank top underneath. She moved quickly to Gabriel’s chair, not quite sprinting across the room as it looked more like she closed the distance in a single leap, presenting an arm to him.

Toriel shot a quick warning glare at Undyne for her language, while Alphys scrambled with the coat, and Papyrus looked both confused and excited. You wandered back over to the group, curious. Papyrus apparently had the same idea, peeking at the scene from over your head. Stark black tattoos stood out clearly against Undyne's light blue flesh and wrapped around her upper arm, spanning from her shoulder to her elbow. They looked almost tribal, but they incorporated some symbols that seemed familiar that you couldn’t identify.

"Wow, you did this Gabe?" you gasped at your brother's work, it seemed to match Undyne perfectly, from what little you knew of her, both badass and startlingly beautiful.

"Yeah, she's a real trooper, hardly winced at all under the needle." he praised with a shrug, releasing her arm, seemingly pleased with how it healed and set.

"WHATEVER! YOU COULDN'T HURT ME IF YOU TRIED!" Undyne boasted loudly, her toothy smirk stretching across her face.

Before anything else could be said, Morrigan and Frisk entered the room, again hand in hand. Frisk dropped your niece's hand and tugged on Toriel's dress. When the goat mom looked up, Frisk signed and rubbed her stomach for emphasis.

"Oh yes, of course my child, dinner is just about ready. Do you want to help me set the table?"