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lamarckianenterprises · 1 year ago

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My Completely Unofficial and Uncategorized Real Time Reactions and Thoughts about the Comprehensive Disco Elysium Investigation by People Make Games: (Thinking about this for most of the night led to a fight with someone I'm dating and I think that's very on brand with DE)

youtube

Watching the video

In their opening preamble they stated that they interviewed 16 employees both former and current who worked closely with him who claim that Kurvitz was just a cunt actually (A significant amount of people since the original team was around 30 and the current one is only a hundred or so) They spend a lot of time at the start talking about how this isn’t as black and white as it seems.

Complicated post release company share charts galore.

Apparently no one working on Disco Elysium had uhhh, worked on a game really before that, and this was all Kender's idea

There's a lot of accounting shenanigans for Ilmar Kompus and his business partner whose name I have already forgotten to just straight up hide their real income from the Estonian government solely to avoid paying any of the 11 million they collectively owe in fines paid out to investors of the Baku scam/scandal.

Said business partner's stake in Zaum UK was owned under a shell company named after a five team sailing boat he sails with an ex lover who owns said shell company

Also Ilmar Kompus obtained the majority share of ZAUM Studio (the Estonian parent company that does not own the IP, the IP is in ZAUM UK) by buying Margus Linnamae's shares directly either supposedly without telling the others or after telling the others

LMAO KENDER CLAIMED IN A LAWSUIT THAT HE FINANCED IT NOT ONLY BY TAKING OUT A LOAN UNDER THE NAME OF A BRITISH BASED ZAUM CHILD COMPANY, BUT BY BUYING THE IP RIGHTS FOR A GAME FROM ZAUM FOR 1 POUND AND SELLING IT BACK FOR 4.8 MILLION EUROS

>He dropped the lawsuit and went on to defend ZAUM and the share sale from Kurvitz and Rostov's lawsuit???

Why

The more I learn about the Disco Elysium case the more this sounds like a classic faustian bargain thing or Dickensian novel, the absolute worst people you have ever known got together to make a game no matter the consequences and no matter their initial lack of skills and connections

I'm currently watching the interviews but won't comment on them until I watch all of them

Ilmar at least seems capable of remaining calm and maintaining the same story even if his deflections and replies aren't always the most convincing

But the key takeaways is that he claims that the shareholder agreement in Newelysium, the company set up for the sequel's development and IP which mainly benefits Kurvits, and the others (20% vs his 5%) was essentially used as a carrot to dangle in front of them to agree to his use of company funds to buy out those shares for himself, and that he claims that them trying to single out Tomi Haavel's sus financial arrangements as an example of his duplicity is wrong because they had agreed to those terms and hashed it out with Tomi before he hopped on as a fellow shareholder in the UK branch that owns the IP

Also his justification for their firing was that by the time of the final cut literally none of them were working properly, with Kurvitz supposedly providing no new writing and the credited lead writer for the Final Cut mostly underperforming and another writer, Justin Keenan needing to do the majority of her work

Above and beyond what said other employees took as time away from work to resolve their own burnouts from the grueling development cycle of DE

He mostly defers on the allegations of toxicity, gender discrimination, etc because he's not in a position to legally say anything and wasn't personally there for it to begin with, but he does say that the alleged IP theft attempt was the straw that broke the camel's back. We're not cycling into the interviews with ZA/UM employees both past and present, with one agreeing to come forward on the record with their name on it to represent the viewpoint of the employee and not just the executive guy who'd benefit from Kurvitz eating shit

>The interview is with the Cuno writer

You had my interest before but 👀

>He's also an old friend of Kurvitz and an original member of both ZA/UM the cultural group and their weird little high school dropout anarchist commune gang thing

Huh, apparently Kaur's father was the prototype for Harrier, especially the throwing up thing, that was something that happened to his father

The writer also did Evart, Harrier's boss, the tribunal scene and the hardy boys among other things. He personally feels slighted by Robert because Robert claimed that he wrote half of the million words in DE and while he's not surprised that he lied about that (he's said it before to his face), he does personally think it's innaccurate especially with 3 other non Robert and him writers credited

He describes his relationiship and friendship with Robert the way an ex cult member would describe their former leader

Robert (Kurvitz) apparently had this magnetic charisma that made people look to him for leadership, which was a mistake because he had absolutely no leadership skills or a proper understanding of what being a leader meant

He said that when he first met Robert, he was a young man and Robert to him was almost like a God in terms of how cool he was and how inspiring he seemed. It wasn't until he married his then wife that the weirdness of their relationship was pointed out, and he fell out of that, and tried to form a more normal friendship over the course of development only to realize that he was beginning to fall back into that over time

He was generally short and inconsiderate with other people's feelings, communication wasn't his strong side

Generally stuff like the programmers trying to show him something they were working on and him saying no that's garbage I can't work while looking at this it's demoralizing me, and they come back with a finished copy and he just says its bullshit and they need to start over. When it comes to writing, during the first draft editing process he would often do things such as looking at about four days of work essentially, an entire hub in a dialogue tree, and go, "Nah this doesn't work, it's bullshit" and deleted it

He (Argo) personally learned to cope with it and taking criicism that way, but he's had convos with other writers before and understands that it is pretty toxic

>DE had a fucking nine month long crunch period before initial release

With an average of about 1 to 2 nights spent without rest per week

He reacts to Ilmar's accusation that the three hadn't done much work by going:

For about 3 to 4 months after release everyone was basically expected not to do any work.

He feels that Rostov was probably the one most burnt out by the experience

And the most work Robert did was a tiny, or at least unacceptable amount of work for drafting up concepts for the sequel among two years and doing a kickoff meeting for the political sequels, otherwise he did not contribute to the Final Cut or did much during those two years.

Helen had a very hands off approach to leading, to the point where he personally enjoyed just kinda having no one to answer to, but little actually got done under her direct leadership even if she didn't do no work at all

Also his description of them originally working in a formerly squatted office where water leaks into the server room and the electricity would turn off and on makes me wonder if the next DE project just needs to be a The Making of the Room style mockumentary

He feels that while Robert should still be allowed to work with the world of Elysium, he also feels like the man wasn't like, the sole creator of it, he was instrumental but so are a lot of people who are being labelled as 'demonic money men' who you know

ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO FUCKING RUN A COMPANY AND ADVERTISE AND GET A GAME DEVELOPED AND PUBLISHED, among other things

He just kinda thinks that Robert is presenting himself as the sole creator of the world and the reason why it all worked to begin with when he was in truth just, the guy who worked on the original idea and fleshed it out through tabletop games and a novel

He does hold a more favorable view on Rostov though as does many employees, who seem to think of him as being like, caught up in a problem Robert started with his departure being a real shame

Helen has apparently been in a romantic relationship with Robert for years before ZA/UM was a thing so they're putting a pin on that and continuing with the other employee interviews they can now publish as people are willing to go on record

The people are Petteri Sulonen the 'lead technologist', Kaspar Tamsalu a lead artist and original Estonian employee group member and Justin Keenan, the current lead writer who is credited as being the one mostly behind the Final Cut's writing despite Helen's credit as a lead writer

(They fucking decided to post snippets from each in sequence instead of coherent snippets from one complete interview to the next why) Kaspar states that he is disappointed in Rostov personally as a friend of him from their teenage years, Petteri says that this was probably the most likely outcome as anything else would have required Robert to actively change how he relates to other people and their work, and Justin states that Robert always had an inner circle following him who seemed to enjoy special privileges from being close to him

And that it was dispiriting for everyone out of said circle because they could essentially get away with doing anything as much or as little as they liked while everyone else had to pick up the slack

Kaspar states that in 2021 Rostov asked him to take over as art lead while he stepped away from the studio for a month, which slowly turned into three that led to Robert suspiciously wanting to take a two month vacation with only people from his in group, which included Rostov

He says that they (Rostov and Robert) had essentially mentally checked out during the time the studio started to really formalize and define itself after DE's release, both in terms of policies such as healthcare and just, general working environment and culture

Justin wrote the moralist and communist quest and kinda states that by the time of Final Cut the already smaller team also had to deal with the three checking out, with him basically having to work on them on his own outside of a few conversations. He accuses Helen of doing no writing as far as he's aware of, and also just, not communicating absolutely anythign a leader should communicate or really doing much leading. He cites that they didn't know what the deadlines were on the Final Cut because she didn't tell them

So the four writers working on the Final Cut ended up kinda, working by themselves while checking up on each other by themselves

Robert apparently told Kaspar straight up that his idea was to spend seven years working on the next project by himself with three other people, two writers and Rostov as the only artist which uhhhh, obviously Kaspar didn't take well since he was in the middle of moving to the UK to follow after the game's new development center after quitting his previous job to do so??? Rostov tried to wave it away by saying that Robert was just being him and having weird wording but then the vacation was announced and he kinda wondered why Robert specifically needed these people to be rested up to work on the sequel

Robert tasked Justin to assign test work to two junior writers who had been working on the Final Cut to develop what could be major quests in the sequel to see if they were worth taking on in the core team. He felt that was unfair but did it anyway, workshopped it between them and Argo, and they did really great work apparently but a year into Robert's sabbatical he said he was taking a two month holiday with his inner circle, and told Justin that he wouldn't have the time to give them his review of their work, and told him to give them the bad news that they weren't going to be on the core team even though their work was great to them

Assured him he had reviewed their work, left on vacation, and a few months later he apparently revealed in a one to one convo with one of said writers that he hadn't actually read or reviewed said work at all

Kaspar notes that said inner circle kinda, made decisions that affected other people in the company mostly based on how they felt at the time without really considering how it would affect other people along with just, kinda disappearing from time to time. And the biggest red flag was when Rostov and Robert sat down with him and Justin at fall 2021 to talk about how while they were still in talks with everyone else and that while it is still going well, they were thinking of taking him and Justin and essentially forming their own studio when they were ready which uhhh, Kaspar had just upgraded from couch surfing to signing a one year no break clause tenancy in an apartment in the UK and was going to be a father and all that and just couldn't like, hop off to follow them along like he had no other responsibilities.

Apparently literally three days before Kaspar's one way flight to the UK, Robert called them for another meeting where he triumphantly declared that he was going to approach Ilmar with a deal that Kaspar begged him not to do because it would get him fired. Justin corroborates by saying that Robert said that this project was his masterpiece and that he couldn't report to anyone on it, he essentially wanted to be the sole creative director for 'his' project, and that he had an idea he thinks could work for convincing the executive producers to let him back on.

He wanted to shelve the sequel, and ask Kaspar and Justin to essentially state that they couldn't do it now and wanted to work on some smaller project instead, and that Robert would work under their lead throughout this project solely to show to the executive producers that he was trustworthy, that for the sequel he could be trusted with regaining his rightful seat as the sole creative director.

Justin then pointed out that if this project went well, which he also didn't want to do because he came here to work on the sequel to begin with, why wouldn't they just go, "Oh hey these two did a great job as the creative leads, why don't we just get them to lead the sequel?" instead of just assigning it to Robert, and Robert literally just went, "Because you'll tell them to."

Petteri essentially vague posts about how Robert suggested he do something for them that would have immediately gotten him fired as a start. Kompus had rather bluntly stated that Petteri was asked to share the source code for DE straight up with him on November the 2nd which Petteri himself corroborates as being true, although he does note that he only told the executives about this conversation a few months after Robert's dismissal, and that this couldn’t have been the reason why he (Robert) was fired.

I really appreciate PMG's initial preface that while it is tempting to approach this from a purely black and white, heroes and villains view, the real situation just like pretty much everything about real life is much more complex than that. Because it does seem like while people accuse them of both sidings a lot, it's just... yeah sometimes it's just like that.

Because an hour and a half in this seems to be about a group of committed bank frauding capitalists teaming up with completely no name anarchist writers, painters and tabletop RPG players of varying national notoriety to make a video game despite literally no one having experience in that field. And the fucking anarchists were the most unbearable people to work with somehow.

Ilmar is almost definitely lying about a lot of things but apparently Tomi was just... a good executive producer???? Everyone has only had nice things to say about him so far???? The literal, I was involved in a 11 million euro investment scandal ten years ago guy just did a good job???

He's skeezy as all hell and all of his earnings goes through at least one shell company to avoid paying estonian debts but like, He was one of the people who helped turn a literal group of no name randos with no previous credit other than a book that sold like, a thousand copies nationally and the worst possible office setup known to man into an award winning game development studio

Kaspar and Petteri closes I think to say that while they can understand why an outsider who wasn't in the office and working with them would buy into the good and evil narrative, it is also still bullshit and apparently people online send Kaspar death threats.

LMAO PMG LITERALLY JUST PULLED THE VIEWER ASIDE TO GO, "HEY IF YOU'RE A FAN OF DE THEN YOU'RE PROBABLY A LITTLE COMMUNIST SO MAYBE CONSIDER NOT SENDING THESE EMPLOYEES WHO JUST SPOKE UP ABOUT THIS DEATH THREATS"

Anyway I think it's kind of interesting that Ilmar was completely confident with having the entirety of his video uploaded to youtube while the trio specifically asked that it not be shared because they may say something that their lawyers would find inadvisable

Robert states that the original production essentially suffered through a hellish production cycle where everyone was sorta expected to put up and try their best to fulfill completely unrealistic production times repeatedly until they finally got it done, with Helen corroborating to say that he and Rostov had essentially done crazy shit like work on this thing from waking up at 4 AM to 11 PM regularly.

Robert states that the original contract for the company holding his IP was essentially until three games or a time limit was passed

I need to stop to say that I can feel that there was a very strong and intentional choice by PMG to present Robert, Rostov, and Helen's take after building up as strong of a case against them as possible, they even went so far as to like, show the thumbnail and title of a youtube essay strongly endorsing their case during the preamble as an example of one of the many supporting the overall good vs evil narrative of an IP being stolen away from its creator.

Somehow despite him being literally what most of us would think of as an underdog and being in the right in this situation, everything he says seems inherently suspect somehow, like I’ve been trained to question everything he says. I keep having to remind myself not to switch to using ‘alleges’ instead of states for example.

It's in the little things, but mostly in the way the non Rostov and Robert corroborators have had their credentials and stakes in defending him already prequestioned for me. Helen is one of the main three and also a former lover of Robert, the only other person in this segment who isn't one of the three is literally described as being a producer and Rostov's wife.

Rostov and Yuan Zhang-Taal (who is said former producer at ZA/UM and Rostov’s wife) paint a picture of him essentially, flaming out by the end of it but gracefully like he was finally happy to just kinda, accomplish it, finish their great work, and the pandemic kinda helped with that because now he could focus on resting without even being expected to leave the house to go the office for example, but the general announcement of the Final Cut, led to a growing sense of stress and nervousness to him as more and more was expected of him again (I can get that a little actually, the fear of like, being expected to go back to that extreme level of crunch can stay with you a while). Yuan states that while he did less work then when compared to the terrifying crunch that was DE’s production cycle, that crunch wasn’t something you could normalize to begin with without destroying yourself.

Robert states that the permanent transfer of the IP was presented to him by Kender as a way to deal with a problematic major shareholder who was the cause behind the deadlines and financing unlike Ilmar who was presented as having fought for them every step of the way, he also states that throughout the process he hadn’t talked to any lawyer, he had no legal representation or consultation of any kind. And thought that since he was being offered authoritarian protections that would supposedly give him creative control over his right’s work, it seemed like something he should do.

Rostov continues to say that yes he did basically just rest for about two whole years he did do that.

Helen states that she was essentially just, handed the position of lead writer along with overseeing the Voice over work for every single goddamn line in the entire fucking game, which she kinda, just had to figure out. She states that the Final Cut’s release date was unknown to her until around mid August, when it was essentially told to her in a general meeting with everyone by Kaur that writing would cease completely in two weeks, and that the game would be released in March next year.

According to Helen during a slack convo Kender admitted that he had essentially messed up as a producer and forgor to tell her about the release date, but that he was essentially fine with her just giving him a new date for when everything would probably be fine and ready to hand over to the VO department.

Yuan was apparently brought on later in DE Final Cut’s development, and found it strange that Kaur and Tomi accused Helen of just straight up lying about when the deadline was and being a lazy worker when she knows and works with Helen and knows that she’s doing her best.

Helen tried calling Kaur and getting them to all just sit down and hash it out but Kaur just went oh no it’s fine just keep working. Tomi just straight up called her and started screaming at her for being terrible at her job and unsuited to leadership though while asking her to step down, it came off as being fired at the time, and apparently another writer in the same room could hear her being screamed at through her headphones.

With all of the prequestioning and literally everyone else who works there who's interview is shown outside of the big three shittalking them Helen comes off at best as like, being Peter principled. She did such a good job as a writer that she got promoted to a lead writer, a mostly managerial role who'll also help coordinate how lines are to be delivered by the VOs and then was just sort of dogshit at it.

She responds to the allegations by Kompus and the two other writers about the complete lack of presence as a leader and her lack of work as a writer with no new words supposedly being written by instead going on a tangent about how ZA/UM shuffled her around companies every 2 years to avoid crediting her properly and giving her proper benefits that a worker would have in the UK after being a contracted worker for two years in the same company.

She literally just goes, "I respect these writers but anyway let me talk about how Za/Um screwed me over and are now finally acknowledging that yes I did work as a lead writer"

Robert tries to present himself and Rostov as being victims of a push from the top to demote them from the lead in future creative projects, and trying to distract them by playing them off of each other to get them to fight, but PGM immediately calls bullshit on that in the video when compared to what other employees have said and cuts to a clip of ARgo saying that no in fact Rostov was pushed to demote himself by Robert himself who essentially gaslit the man by preying on his insecurities by trying to convince him that he was unfit to lead. Going on until Rostov approached the producers and they came up with a scheme where every creative lead would have an administrative counterpart, Kaspar with Rostov and Justin with Robert.

The Administrative leads would not only be creative partners but also be the ones to talk to the producers and manage the day to day work of the writing and art teams apparently, basically one person had final say sort of about the creative direction, and the other basically did all of the actual lead work of actually taking care of the team (which Robert is continuously portrayed as being bad at).

Robert seemed fine with this at first since he could essentially focus on writing, but after a month or so he realized that he basically was just a writer and only the defacto head, and he would keep complaining about it during the zoom meetings the writers would hold, while also apparently trying to get Rostov to be dissatisfied with it too despite this whole thing being his idea???

He apparently managed to convince Rostov to be dissatisfied with this and they approached the producers to tell them that they were ready to lead once more, which uhhh, none of the other writers (except possibly for Helen) really wanted on Robert’s case.

Roberts refutes Ilmar’s claim that he had talked to them beforehand about the necessity of him using company funds to buy out the major stockholder share for himself, and Helen states that she was the one who found out about the shift. Roberts asserts that he had thought Tomi’s shell company was actually Ilmar’s this whole time, and had asked him why he had effectively a 40% share in the IP company, and what they got out of all this. And he mentions a heated email exchange/thread that interestingly enough, Ilmar himself provided to PMG.

It mainly concerns Roberts and Rostov wanting to be more involved in the company both as shareholders and employees, and setting up emails about the future of the company, asking about company docs, figuring out what their roles would be in Disco Elysium 2. But around November Roberts became the only one messaging in the thread, apparently asking for basic documents that he should already have had access to? And Ilmar had just checked out of the exchange, building up to a meeting at about 9th that ended with the trio getting fired a week or so afterwards.

Roberts had gone into shock after realizing what had happened and Helen and he had spent an entire day basically just dealing with UK mental health services to deal with it. He reiterates Kaur Kender’s claims, and throws shade on the IP Ilmar had supposedly shuffled around in the company. Also he states that despite being shareholders in Newelysium, both he and Rostov were completely unaware of its incorporation which is just wild to me, he states that Rostov had just signed onto it as director but don’t you need to like, actually get the permission of shareholders of the company you are making before giving them shares in the UK?

Robert also states that he was unaware of Anu Reiman (Tomi’s wife/partner) receiving funds from ZA/UM. And that they were approached by Ilmar with a substantial offer monetarily to resolve the case, get bought out from ZA/UM, and essentially become the Notch of DE.

They dispute that toxicity was the cause for their firing, as they state that the timelines and reasons for it have shifted over time with each new case, and that the original reason given was that they were attempting to steal the IP and sell it to other companies, which they dispute. They interestingly enough chose a set of big names in game development as the ones they were accused of approaching although according to PMG none of those companies or John Sawyer was the one any employee has mentioned, with the most common one being the BG3 developers Larian. Chris Bratt (The PMG guy covering this) notes that he’s never quite understood how this would have worked anyway or whether any of this was based in truth, and honestly same, were they just going to make Tesco Elysian or something???

Argo’s statements are mentioned to Robert, and he initially claims that he asks himself everyday if he is a good leader or if he’s doing a good enough job, but that a lot of these allegations come from people who took money from him illegally (Ilmar), but he does eventually admit that yes a lot of people other than him may have been hurt as well, especially during the arduous production process.

Chris Bratt states that after he posed these questions, the vibes in the room felt off and he could later on tell that Robert was pretty clearly upset so he like, softballed the questions from then on. Which yes was obviously a mistake but I can sorta understand why, I guess maintaining goodish relations with them did allow him to get followup interviews with Rostov and followup emails after the other employees had come forward as willing to go on the record though.

He really softballs the year long sabbatical question goddamn. But yeah Roberts basically says that he was extremely drained from the 12 hour days he had taken up until that point and really needed the break and it was so sad that Rostov didn’t get someone who could take his place like Roberts did and Kaur Kender kept shitting on him and he and Tomi were also always dissatisfied with Helen despite the incredible job she was doing. He defends it as a necessary way to recover from his post development burnout, and that he in fact had put in normal amounts of work throughout that period.

Rostov also points out that said two months of vacation, which Argo also joined, was necessary to get into the right mindset to prepare concepts for the next game. Roberts also pointed out that it wasn’t a privilege, just the exact amount of days allowed by British Law as mandatory vacation time each year taken out in one sitting.

Yeah I think the employee interviews were a great idea, especially presented in the order they were. Rostov, Robert, and Helen are doing their best to like, dispel the accusations, state that they aren’t really an issue or anywhere near as bad as they seem, and that the image of Robert presented is really just a caricature of who he is to advance a message or viewpoint and like, I don’t know man, I’m pretty sure you three have been doing that with Ilmar, Kender, and Tomi as well, potentially deserved or not it feels like a weak appeal to me. And a lot of it comes off as a classic like, “I’m sorry that you felt that way” apology outside of the complete lack of like, need to defend himself Robert has noted.

At least he does state that people shouldn’t harass ZA/UM employees though, which is nice but idk it’s buried 2 hours and 14 minutes into a video that’s mostly been about questioning and prodding at his statements so far I don’t know if this will really stop anyone who believes him enough to send death threats at a complete stranger.

While Helen, Robert, and Rostov has vehemently denied that their behavior has been called into question until after their dismissal, Ilmar Kompus has provided a slack message from a few months before their dismissal that if true would prove otherwise. It's apparently five months before his firing and from Tomi, referring to Robert’s behavior in a meeting he wasn’t invited to but jumped into anyway when he took the headset from Helene.

Interesting to note that it’s actually a screenshot they showed us near the very start of the video, the one that very politely tells Kurvits that he is being an ass but that if he is willing to change they are still willing to work with him. I didn’t know that it was sent by Tomi at the time so honestly I still maintain that as shady and possibly criminal as he is, the man seems to just… be doing his best as an executive producer, and he seems to be doing ok, which is hilarious to me personally.

Kurvits’s reaction to the allegations made in the interview to the four employees including someone who's known him since his teenage years that he was:

Consistently inconsiderate of other people's feelings in a way that could yes create a toxic work environment

Tried to convince one of them to steal DE's source code for him

Tried to convince two of them to start a whole other side project just to make him look good to allow him to be the sole lead of DE 2

Gaslit the art lead into wanting to step down after DE's release

Had an inner circle that he regularly favored who could essentially do anything they want and coudl slack off and expect other workers to make up for it

Seemed convinced that he was the most victimized and tired and beaten down by the crunch and that after all of this collaborative work that Elysium was entirely his baby.

Etc.

Was quite literally just virtue signaling, by, and I’m paraphrasing here, going, "Loe and behold the crooked capitalists and conmen are trying to drive an artificial wedge between us poor and downtrodden workers, all of this has consumed our lives and damaged us irreparably, I would relinquish my shares for free but it is my only recourse for justice and as a writer I need to believe in something and I happen to believe in communism etc"

But also I do need to note, he added, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Art isn't about ending decades long friendships with someone because you realize that they were unbearable to work with and they are no longer an idol to worship over what initially started as petty disagreements and uncomfortable behavior.” and uh, no that’s exactly what art is about, that’s literally how most bands end, shush.

Massive props to Chris Bratt of PMG for immediately noting how outrageous he personally finds the email to be. I don’t think we watch 2 and a half hour long video essays for complete objectivity anyway (if that even exists to be blunt) and yeah it is pretty scummy that he’s trying to deflect entirely

This all feels like one of those problems that could have been resolved if there was a reasonable adult to try and get them to sit down and hash it out among each other to clear up what are mostly just, basic communication and treatable behavioral issues. Unfortunately everyone in the room was either doing bank fraud or needed therapy at best.

I guess the main takeaway from this is just. Two things can be true at the same time, both siding is bad when it's like, someone from a country saying that since another country does unrelated bad things, everyone from that country should shut up about the bad things their country is doing or has done. But this isn't whataboutism, it's literally just, "Hey actually maybe he is a cunt as well, Maybe the employees are speaking against him not because they feel the need to defend Ilmar to keep their paycheck but because Roberts was in fact just not a good team lead at best and aggravating and unbearable at worst"

But what I really hate is that Disco Elysium and its devs are communist adjacent enough that they have easy virtues to signal to in this case. I’m not saying that Ilmar’s hands are clean, but it’s not a good look when you pander to worker’s rights and collective action every single time someone mentions personal criticism of you and your work.

Also someone with actual money pay PMG please I'm too brokeass to do it myself. I think they did a really good job on this one.

#journaling #disco elysium #people make games #za/um #studio za/um #communication #Youtube

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nasuversekinkmeme · 2 years ago

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Roundup: Tumblr Prompts (May 9-16)

We're back in business, and that means I have to catch up on the weekly prompts!

Tsukihime

Kohaku healing. most of the prompts about Kohaku focus on her doing fucked up things, but I want to see her heal and recover from her trauma instead. maybe it's Nanaya, maybe it's post-Kohaku route, maybe it's something else, but i want to see her in a good state of mental health

Shiki Tohno/SHIKI Tohno - Noncon, Obsessive Tendencies SHIKI's latent care for his friend Shiki and his current hatred towards him coalescing, and showing love by hurting him. Good stuff like that.

Kohaku from an alternate universe where she is blue. (a glimpse into the author's twisted mind optional)

Shiki(Tohno) decides to fuck around and finds out

Kara no Kyoukai

Something around Ryougi Shiki and time loops, can be about the fifth movie or her falling back in love with Mikiya after the accident or legitimately anything with Shiki and timeloops please

Mahoyo

Aoko’s ‘oh shit i’m gay’ moment

Fate/Stay Night

artoria / issei / shirou polycule , it can optionally be framed as gilgamesh ,rin , luvia & sakura getting cucked

YAY THE ASKBOX IS BACK! To celebrate let's get dapper mustache saber some good head

Saber and Illya drinking. Can be platonic or romantic, I just want these two to share a drink together

smut Listen to me LISTEN to me Kirei and Bazett have ABSOLUTELY fucked. The idea that the two of them got intimate at some point makes Kirei's betrayal SOOO much more delicious.

Souichirou, Kiritsugu, Parent-teacher conferences. An incredibly awkward and/or tense meeting between two ex-assassins trying to put their pasts behind them. I’m kind of sad that I have literally never seen anyone write these two interacting in any way, especially when there are so many interesting things that they could talk about.

in an effort to learn more about his girlfriend, Shirou starts reading up on arthurian myths, like the canterbury tales or le morte d'arthur

Rin's magic powered attempts to grow boobs the size of her sister's go wrong and she's left a hu-cow

Fate/Zero

Fed up of arguing with Saber constantly over tactics, Kiritsugu uses his Command Spells to reduce her intelligence and leave her too dumb to question him

Fate/Extra

Julius, any ship. I need this man to get laid so bad. Hakuno (either gender) would be my favourite choice but anyone is good. No Leo incest though.

BB hacking (or otherwise hypnotising) Hakunon

Fate/Grand Order

a moment during the servant summer camp thing yan qing visits lanling in the cabin and they spend the day doing fun stuff, may or may not include smut

Post-Story Ritsuka rejoins society at large and starts hitting people with The Vibes. Narrated from someone outside the loop. Does not necessarily have to be Uncanny Valley levels of Vibes, but Weird Vibes must be there. Servants and/or Chaldea staff can and are encouraged to show up as co-workers/friends/romantic partners to add more of The Vibes.

smut, weight gain/stuffing Please, please, please, I NEED to see Mephistopheles stuff Guda with sweets (cute German pet names optional).

smut Lancelot keeps seeing Mash as Galahad. Mash keeps seeing Lancelot as a deadbeat father. It sucks! They want to be able to have a normal conversation for once! The solution? The two should have sex. Now THAT has to get them to stop seeing each other in a familial light, right? The more uncomfortable you make your fill the better. Also you don't have to go all the way, if you write one of them quitting mid sex or even just the aftermath of said sex that is perfectly fine by me.

Douman gets punished for messing up the ask box

smut Anything with Douman and their claws? I'm thinking in lines of smut. Preferably Douman X Guda but whatever floats your boat is great

rin & luvia awaken to find that foreigner molay is going to sacrifice them to her goddes. both of them are futily struggling against their restraints when tiamat arrives. but tiamat starts scolding molay for missing breakfast , and after tiamat gives molay the dissapointed parent look ™ rin & luvia are quickly transformed into new versions of the dark young. their minds & souls aren't shoved into plush toys like what happened to ritsuka , rather their minds & souls are stored in a pair of statues adorning an altar & could only watch on in horror as their bodies take up the duty of being the cults security guards.

U-Olga resurrects Lev/Flauros to serve as her apostle

Instead of fighting 7 crypters during the lostbelt, Ritsuka must fight 7 alternative versions of themselves all who allied themselves with a Beast and remade their own Human History according to the Beast's Ideals, Goetia, Tiamat, Kama, Koyanskaya, Draco, Olga Marie and an unknown Beast(This one up to the author)

Mages Association plans on taking Ritsuka's off most of chaldea's servant because they did not plan for a single human to have control over so many servants and gather so much power. Ritsuka is fine with dividing his servant among other master, his servants on the other hand, not so much

I really liked that Goetia prompt. What if sequel where they settle in the Wandering Sea and he sees Nero and Tamamo and warns Guda of their nature?

Anything with Maou Nobu and Third Ascension Draco in it, be they fucking, being friends, fucking around, finding out

May i get Shuten being a mouthy bitch before getting plowed into a cum puddle by the Futa she was teasing? (Much to her own Delight cause that's what she was hoping for)? Even better if her horns are used as Handlebars for further railing power.

Castoria finds out the Chaldea Database lists her and her peers as "Altria" and she is FUCKING PISSED

Hessian and Lobo get tasked with sitting together for all the other dogs which Chaldea has accumulated over time.

MashMorgan, a day at the aquarium. They're yuri enough to have an aquarium date. As a treat.

AmaSali - gore, monster sex (dubcon optional). Third tier Salieri's kinda hot right? Right. Looking for something with a monstrous Salieri losing his last semblance of self control and having his way with Amadeus. Amade can be into it from the start or slowly get into it, but I want it to end with him having a great time whether or not you decide to make it dubconnish. I love the idea of Salieri being incapable of touching Amadeus without hurting him. Use his claws to really screw Amadeus up, even if he's only touching him to move him or the like. Lots of gashes dripping blood would be good, and purposefully harming him would be even better. (would be based as hell to have his intestines hanging out as he gets fucked, just saying…) It would be super cool to have Salieri have inhuman anatomy too! He's become a monster in the true sense of the word, so lean into it! (this is just an excuse for knotting mostly but you can go as ham as you want)

Goredolf Musik, any ship. my man Gordy deserves to get some so get this guy shipped! Any ship is good, and feel free to go wild over kinks and scenarios you want.

loli tw fionn/beni-enma, oral sex. i think they're really cute. fionn eating her out is all i'm really looking for but you can do whatever else you want

Asterios/Habetrot, height difference. Anything about these two would be good but I'd give you my firstborn if you include their massive-ass height difference. porn welcome but not mandatory.

smut, noncon tw KiaraxEmiya Alter noncon NSFW, Noncon, Tentacle (/Demon God) Noncon. On top of the cult massacre and how EmiAlter was implied to end up killing Taiga and her son, Kiara also broke and twisted EmiAlter's spirit by forcing him to drown in her brand of pleasure. Fast forward to (insert any convenient point of time where Kiara already has demon god inside her) where Kiara retraumatized him and tentacle raped him until he no longer has the will to fight back.

smut Castoria gangbang. I need Castoria to be the central point of an orgy. It can be named characters it can be a faceless mob either is fine I just need her to get absolutely RAILED. Bonus point if you get her filled and/or covered in cum. Dubcon/Noncon ok, but I want her to get pleasure out of it please!

U-Olga gets summoned and proceeds to gee bullied and harassed by literally everyone in Chaldea

barbatos possesses BB as an attempt to get revenge on ritsuka. but unfortunately for BB , barbatos has wound up incredibly masochistic due to being farmed so much. barbdos is enjoying a visit to BSDM dungeon & is having the time of their life when they get used as a rubber drone by the other patrons & bb's despair of losing control of her body only serves to make the demon pillar more horny.

I have a MIGHTY NEED for some Gay Girls in Lingerie tbh. Not picky about the fandom but the only one I'm familiar with is FGO so that's the preferred.

Ritsuka has been through a lot, and her body shows it, there is not a single part of her that isn't scared, both physically and mentally, she always tries to hide it and because of that no servant has permission to enter her room, not even Mash. But once Van Gogh is summoned, she breaks that rule before anyone can tell her about it

Altria is confused on why Americans keep insisting her name is Artoria.

i want to see Arcueid and Yu talking in Chaldea about being true ancestors

Buff Marie Antoinette rampaging through France and dominating everyone she met until she subdues Jalter in public. (There is an actual manga about buff Marie Antoinette btw)

Knights of the Round Table having an existential crisis after learning that Caster Artoria is not actually an artoria, but a younger version of Morgan

guda gets jack to put on a pair of pants

smut I honestly want saito fucking okita so hard that not only she passes out, but she’s still sore as hell when she wakes up

Hijikata sending the Shinsengumi… on a quest for pickles and takuan, maybe some mayo too.

Lancelot in extreme anguish(Humorous) as he discovers his child(Mash) is fucking the alternative universe version of his Mom(Morgan, who is also Vivian, who is Lancelot's mom)

guda ends up in a re7 scenario somehow

Koyanskaya of Light slowly realizes that OOPS, she's starting to actually fall for Ritsuka Fujimaru, as told through a series of BDSM sessions with the former as the domme and the latter as the sub. She tries to keep their relationship strictly professional, and predictably fails.

smut Altria fucking Artoria explicitly framed as Arturia getting cucked.

Lancelot undergoing intense mental anguish(humorous) when he realizes his technical child, Mash, is fucking the Queen of (Fairy) Britain

Xu Fu and Ritsuka hiding in the bushes watching Yu Mei Ren and Xiang Yu have a date

David, Romani, or Sheba talking with Morgan to see if they are worthy of dating Mash.

Angra stitching all over Ritsuka's skin as a form of therapeutic harm, recreating the same imagery as his tattoos with the stitches

Among us in fate/go????? I know among us is dead but idc, can either be based on the game or gudao summons the imposter

Gudako mostly jokingly says something along the lines of "I think men should dress sluttier" nearest male servant takes this seriously.

smut What if goetia and master fucked at the end of the world before or after they start beating each other to death

Cleopatra/Caesar, caesar should get pegged by his wife

the servant summer camp event but for some reason it repeats. also gudao/gudako realizes that outsmarting cliches won’t work this time, so he/she has to find a way to avoid the cliche without having to see the others die from the failed attempt at outsmarting the cliches, may or may not include save scumming to achieve it

smut, incest tw In attempt to help Lancelot stop seeing Mash as Galahad/Help Mash stop seeing Lancelot as a deadbeat father, they decide to have sex. Would appreciate if you made it as uncomfortable as humanly possible. You don't have to go all the way through btw if you want to write one of these two quitting midway through that's way welcomed.

Any Fandom

Pairing of your choice with a prey/predator dynamic. Smut very welcome but asexual kink is cool too. I just want two (or more) people chasing growling & wrestling each other. You understand. I really want either a chase scene or some sort of hide and seek... either playing up the anticipation of "oh man i can't get caught or i'll be (fucked/bitten/lose this really soecific competition)" of the prey or the "boy i gotta WORK to get this lad" of the predator. Any kind of consent (or lack of thereof) situation is fine, but I do want everyone to be into it. Tbh I struggle so much to find stuff for this specific kink feel free to ad lib as wanted I'll be really happy either way ^^

Any Artoria, facial hair. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED BEARDED SABER INJECTED IN MY BLOODSTREAM. If not facial hair I am also amenable to fuckton of body hair elsewhere. Please I just want more hairy ladies in my life.

Aftermath of sex pollen. So your buddy got hit by the curse of Fuck Or Die, and you fucked it out of their system. Great! How do you handle the aftermath? You just fucked your bff (and/or crush) how do you deal with the awkwardness? do you talk about it? do you just kinda ignore it? i wanna know!! (you can write the sex pollen too if you want but i mostly want the aftermath) Preference would go to Guda/Ereshkigal as a pairing, but any other character is fine ^^

Any, kink negotiation. I wanna see characters in the process of trying out a new kink. Not particularly looknig for porn (tho do feel free to include it,) but I mean everything around it. Maybe one character breaking to another character that they wanna try a new kink. Maybe a couple looking for kink gear, or discussing the dos and dont of a scene, or trying to find the perfect person to ask for a threesome.

piss Any Canonical Master/Servant Pair - Piss Drinking. If cum, blood, and saliva can all be used to transfer mana, there's no reason to think other bodily fluids can't do the same. This prompt is exactly what it sounds like - a Master replenishing their Servant's mana with some piss. Any Master/Servant pairing that's been in canon is fine! That said, I do have some favorites I'd particularly like to see - I'm fond of Rin, Waver, and Kirschtaria for Masters, and Amadeus, Nero, and Enkidu for Servants. But if you're not interested in writing for any of those, feel free to write for a pairing of your choice. I'll be happy regardless.

I would like a story based on the phrase "Don't touch me, but please don't leave me" someone who is extremely afraid of connection and of being hurt by it, but also can't stand being alone and left behind, always longing for someone, while being eternally afraid of being seen

Crossover

I've seen some people hold the belief that Arcueid would be super into Ryougi Shiki, but what if it was the opposite? What if Ryougi was super into Arc instead?

personally i wanna see kiara peg gojo.

trigun & fgo crossover where all four iterations of trigun is trapped in a singularity that chaldea has to fix. bonus points if knives is helping chaldea to fix the singularity while vash and his pals is against it

what if fgo servants of trigun cast? but each ascension is different version of them?(tristamp, badlands, trimax, 98 anime)

Planet Gunsmoke/No Man's Land is a Lostbelt that Chaldea has to deal with. Million Knives is the Lostbelt summoned servant(temporary). Vash the Humanoid Typhoon/the Stampede is the Lostbelt's King. Post-Lostbelt is Vash and Million Knives getting summoned as two in one servants like the dioscuri

Vash and Million Knives, Chaldea's newest two-in-one Archer servants interacting with other chaldean servants, preferably siblings like the Trung Sisters, Nobunaga and Nobukatsu, Dioscuri, et cetera.

#weekly roundup

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purplesurveys · 2 years ago

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1665

What’s your favorite amusement park? Feels unfair to call it a favorite when it’s the only one I’ve been to, but to be fair Universal Studios in Singapore wasn’t bad at all. Only thing I hated about the trip was that gross couple in front of us who endlessly made out while my family and I were in line for one of the rides.

Do you know your social security number (or equivalent) off by heart? Nah. Our HR team currently takes care of everything relating to my social security so there isn’t really a reason for me to memorize it, at least for now lol.

What would you take to a potluck dinner? Truffle mac and cheese from my favorite Italian restaurant.

Do you have any sisters? How is your relationship with them? I have a sister, two years younger. We’re pretty tight, but our relationship is very casual more than anything. We’ll rant to each other and occasionally share how our day went, but we’d never confide in one another or have heart-to-hearts.

When was the last time you changed your hair and what did you do to it? I had it dyed to purple and trimmed up to my neck last October. It’s since faded back to a light brown and my roots are awkwardly growing out, but I’ll likely wait til June-ish to dye it back to purple again so that it looks perfect by the time we fly to Thailand.

What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done? Uh. Maybe that time I got an ex-partner a pendant with some pretty significant symbols inside when you open it? I don’t remember 98% of the relationship, but that one sticks out.

Do you listen to audiobooks? If so, what was the last one you listened to and did you like it? No, my attention span is too awfully short for something like that. Also why I can never get into podcasts no matter how hard I try.

Describe yourself in five words. Loyal, (too) hardworking, passionate, resentful, sensitive.

What was your favorite class in high school? History.

When was the last time you did laundry? Couple of days ago.

Do you own a leather jacket? Do you wear it often? No. No reason to own one considering the climate we experience in this part of the world, hahaha.

Can you get Chinese food from a drive-thru in your town? Yeah, we have a Chowking just right outside the village.

If you could choose your middle name, what would you pick? I’ve always liked my second name (Isabelle). I liked it too much to the point that when I was a kid and was being teased in school about my unisex name, I tried making my second name my main nickname; it didn’t stick though. Partially my fault too because I’d never turn around when I was being called by my second name hahaha

Would you rather see a sunrise or sunset? Sunset. I don’t like waking up early, and I’ve always thought sunsets looked better and more peaceful anyway.

Do you have any plans to buy any furniture in the near future? Nope.

When you go to bed, do you go to sleep straight away? Sometimes, but most of the time I’d continue to use my phone and go through social media and Reddit until my eyes start feeling heavy.

What do you do for a living? I work as an account manager in the public relations industry.

Do you own a suitcase? When was the last time you used it? Where did you go? I do, but I haven’t used it in since 2016 when I went on a cruise and had to pack for three different countries. I don’t plan on using it for my upcoming Thailand and Malaysia trips, either.

How many pets have you had in your life? More than 10, but I don’t remember how many goldfish we owned in total.

Is there any soda in your fridge right now? We may have Coke actually but idk?? I had my birthday dinner with friends last night and my mom asked if anybody wanted soda so apparently we have some.

Do you call it soda, pop, fizzy drink or something else entirely? Soda or softdrink depending on who I’m talking to. Filipinos tend to use ‘softdrink’ so I’m likely to use that when talking to an older friend/relative.

Do you need to get any groceries right now? What do you need? MORE 3-IN-1 COFFEE. I recently ran out :(

If I was visiting your town, what would you take me to see and do? Probably one of the cafés up the mountain so you can see the Metro Manila skyline.

What was the last thing you spent money on? Beer.

What subscription services do you have? Spotify, YouTube Premium, Netflix, Disney+.

Do you like olives? I have my moods for it but otherwise I will take them out if I encounter them in a dish.

Would you rather be too warm or too cold? Too cold. These days the heat index is reaching 50ºC so being ‘too warm’ is at the VERY BOTTOM of my priorities right now.

What’s your favorite name for a girl? Olivia. I like the name Mia too, but one of my clients has the same name so for now it’s taken a backseat as my favorite lololol. I love Elliott for a girl, too.

How do you make your coffee? I rely on 3-in-1 coffee precisely because I’m terrible at making my own coffee and always fuck up the ratios for the add-ons.

Do you know anyone who has a matching tattoo with someone? (including yourself)? Apart from BTS, no not really lol.

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survey--s · 2 years ago

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482.

How many friends do you have on Facebook? 153.

What was on the last sandwich you ate? It was just peanut butter.

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? Yeah, a few times in the past.

What is your favourite Thai dish? I find Thai food too spicy as a rule, but our local Thai place does some really basic stuff like sweet and sour pork with coconut rice which is AMAZING but I’m not sure how authentic it is lol.

How many contacts do you have in your phone? 67.

When was the last time you made out with somebody? I honestly couldn’t tell you lol, I’m not really into making out.

What month of the year was your mother born? She was born in June. So was my dad, in fact.

Do you have any friends that seem to know all the hot gossip? Hahah yeah, Mike is a real gossip. His sister-in-law is a hairdresser and I swear he only goes there to get all the latest gossip.

What TV show(s) have you been watching currently? Lots of stand-up comedy and old re-runs of things like Friends.

How many apps do you have on your phone? I think I’ve got about 10-15 downloaded ones.

What pet names do you use with your significant other? We really don’t use pet names.

Do you have to wear a name badge where you work? No, but I have done in all my previous jobs.

What brand is your toaster, if you have one? It’s just a cheap supermarket brand one that really isn’t very good lol.

Can you hear anything right now? I’m watching an old Jimmy Carr stand-up show on YouTube.

Is there anybody else in the room you’re currently in? Toby cat is curled up by my feet.

What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Tesco.

Does your house have a porch/balcony? No, they’re not really a “thing” here unfortunately, but I would absolutely love one one day, especially if it looked over the sea.

What’s your favourite type of bread? Sourdough, Focaccia, Ciabatta and Scachiata.

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? I don’t have any siblings, but my middle name is the same as my cousins’ first name.

Have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area? Yeah, they’re fairly common in the summer months unfortunately. Too many people have campfires or BBQ’s and don’t know how to put them out properly.

Have you ever taken a ride in an ambulance? No.

When was the last time you took a nap during the day? Uh, maybe a couple of weeks ago. I finish next week for the holidays and I think I’m just exhausted even though I’m getting loads of sleep.

What did you have to eat for dinner last night? Pizza with mozzarella, sundried tomatoes and pesto.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Pepsi Max.

Who was the last message you received from and what did they say? It was from Suzanne saying thank you for the photos and how much they appreciated me :) she’s the owner of one of the dogs I walk and they’re just the SWEETEST family.

What’s your favourite kind of accent? Irish, Scottish or Australian.

Have you ever missed a flight? No, thankfully not.

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Yeah, and a solar eclipse.

Do you know your significant other’s passwords? No. He doesn’t know mine either - I think privacy in a relationship is SO important, honestly.

What’s your favourite type of salad? I’m really not a fan of salad with leaves lol, the texture makes me gag - but Caprese salads are good.

Is your house usually too warm or too cold in the winter? Neither really - it’s fine. We don’t really use the heating much just because it’s expensive, though.

Have you ever been in love with someone much older or younger than you? Define “much”.

Would you rather have someone ask to kiss you, or just kiss you? It depends on the scenario and who the people involved are.

What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? Nothing lol. I can never resist fries.

Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? Yeah, when I was in primary school someone set the kitchen on fire. Obviously not on purpose lol.

Would you change your partner’s hair color if you could? Nah.

Have you ever written a poem for someone? Nope.

Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yeah, one of my best friends in school was from Hong Kong. Her name was Jolanda and she used to come to my house at weekends for my mum’s seafood curry lol. It’s weird, we were so close but then we lost touch. According to Facebook she’s married with three kids now.

Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? I have no idea.

Have you friended your parents on FB? Yeah, I’m friends with both of them on there.

What’s the last tourist area you visited? Ambleside in the Lake District.

Have you ever been in a submarine? Nope - it sounds incredibly claustrophobic.

Is there anyone whose grave you visit? No.

Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got married? No, it was changed when she got adopted and then again when she married my dad.

Do you use TikTok? No.

What decorations do you have in your bathroom? None. Our bathroom is tiny - we don’t have enough space for decorations lol.

Do you like Seinfeld? No. I tried to get into it several times but I never found it very funny.

What year was your favourite band formed? 1960.

What’s your least favourite pizza topping? Anything spicy.

What percentage battery is your phone on right now? 31 percent.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Did you like it? I have done, yeah. I enjoyed it at the time.

Are you closer to your mother or father? My mum, for sure.

Have you ever sent a postcard? Where from? Yeah, from all over the world. I used to send them all the time when I was younger as there wasn’t the option to share stuff on social media.

Do you know anyone who speaks Spanish as a first language? Not to my knowledge.

Who was the last person you kissed? Mike.

Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? I do - in French, History and Politics.

Do loud noises bother you? Yeah.

Do you rent or own the place you live? We own our home.

Have you ever made yourself as a Sim? Sure, isn’t that what everyone does when they play the Sims?

What brand is your phone? iPhone.

Have you ever had a friend named Mary? Yeah, she was a twin.

What does the name “Ada” make you think of? Old-fashioned TV shows.

Have you ever ridden in a horse-drawn carriage? I have done - when we used to visit here in the holidays they used to have a horse-drawn carriage that took you down to the lakeside - the horses were called Sally and Ben lol. I also went in one in the snow in Lake Louise.

Did you ever sneak out of your house when you were younger? Nope.

What is your best friend’s name? Michael.

Is anyone in your family an author or poet? No,

Have you ever dated a guy with a girl’s name? Hmm, no, not that I can think of.

Would you rather be named Fanny or Faye? Faye. I mean, in the UK, fanny means vagina LOL.

Do you have a godmother? No.

Are you someone’s godmother? No.

When was the last time you wrote a poem? Uh, years ago in school probably.

Do you believe that it’s possible for someone to be resurrected from the dead? Save for experiences where the heart has been inactive for only a short period of time and it was able to be jolted back into activity, no. <--- this.

What color hair does your current crush (or boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, whatever) have? Brown but he’s already going grey.

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you in a theater? Nothing comes to mind.

Have you ever had someone copy you or steal your ideas for something? Yeah, my business ideas/posts on social media.

Have you ever dated someone behind your parents’ back? Nope.

#survey #surveys

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parksprout · 23 days ago

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Sprout Journal 11/3/24

Hey Tumblr! There's some stuff I wanna talk about today, so I'm going to do a lil journal entry. I was doing journaling at home with pen and paper, but frankly my handwriting is so bad and I use my hands like that so infrequently that I was cramping before I got even close to writing all of my thoughts out each day. So I decided I'm going to put my thoughts that I can share out like this, it can be somewhat of a log of my own self growth! And also keep me a lil sane if I'm struggling again.

Today has been a really good day, actually! So I was on a really successful diet for about 6 months during which I got a 3rd of the way to my overall weight goal and built a bunch of muscle. Then, when I started college full time, I basically stopped altogether. I didn't gain any weight back, but I have been plateaued (least favorite word to spell omg) for a looonggggg time. This week, I've been finally eating how I want to again. My go to breakfast has been

Overnight oats: 1/2 cup of unrefined dried oats 1/2 cup of 2% milk 1 whole banana cut into thin slices 1 tablespoon of honey

Honestly I had it on like the 29th without any banana or honey and that SHIT WAS ASSSSSSS. It was so bland, but I hate wasting food so I downed that slop anyway and felt siicccckkkk ough. Honestly it's been really hard to eat lately due to my current tweak out sesh (breakup stuff) and forcing myself to down that was terrible ToT. This new version with banana and honey is AMAZING THOUGH LIKE ITS GENUINELY TASTY?

After I ate that I went to work and... honestly? As much as I hate my co-workers? It was really good to see them today. They may be bad people, but they are all really attached to me. I have been giving them all life advice for so long because I thought I had it all figured out, and it's very funny being on the opposite end of things now. I specifically asked them if they think I was being silly for reaching out and breaking no contact with my partner (they are my ex but... ugh it doesn't feel right to say that, it makes my stomach hurt). I explained to them why, how, and when I did it and... they actually supported me, they are the only ones in my life who think that reaching out was anything but a mistake. I probably asked 12 people about it and only those three felt like... maybe I'm not wrong for trying to continue the conversation more than we did. Either way, they responded yesterday and we've been talking a lot today. Us talking naturally doesn't mean we're automatically back together, but it might be a new beginning of sorts regardless of what the end looks like. I'm feeling hopeful that we might be able to talk things out and heal, but I can't say anything for certain for now and probably won't be able to for a long time.

I can say that... I found out today that they were thinking about me too. When they started replying to my texts today I snuck out of work to sit in the back of my car and just... take in what they were saying, and respond. They took a picture at work that had my name on it... that made me cry real, fat tears for the first time since this happened. It's strange how I had been sobbing but my cheeks stayed dry, but the moment I talked to them and saw a glimmer of us in their life I started bawling in the back of my own car.

Today is also the first day I've rested instead of heading to the gym after work since this all started. Oh my god my body is so sore. Right now I'm planning out the rest of my night and physical activity is NOT on the agenda.

- After I post this I'll give myself a bit more time to rest and relax - Then it's time to work on homework! First I have to practice for an oral exam I have tomorrow in Spanish class. Then after that, I have both a presentation and another project in Archaeology due on Friday ToT I also have this re-write of a short story for creative writing that I need to work on a second draft of - Then I want to work on OC stuff? I have some ideas for a sleep token OC that I wanna work on, and also I think I can refine my OC's for DnD, my personal writing projects and more somewhat? I think it'd been neat to try and draw them myself sometime soon - besides that I don't think I have plans. Maybe some video games or reading if I have extra time!

Thank you for listening tonight tumblr, you're the realest <3 if anyone sees this, I'm still looking for more mutuals! I wanna learn more about people who share my interests, don't be a stranger :3

#sproutposting #journaling #personal writing

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bisluthq · 8 months ago

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That, does not sound easy? The relationship with your ex I mean

I mean it wasn’t - but essentially it came down to if I had proposed and kept paying for the bulk of our lives, she’d have stayed. She also wasn’t the one to break up with me. I was. Multiple times. And like I would’ve kept up with it if she’d just put out yk and been less of a cunt when I wanted to go out partying lol. So it was easy in that respect. Her and I got along better than anyone I’ve ever met and had more of the same shared tastes of anyone ever (including my current partner) but I’m not gonna change who I am as a person lol like this is sorta just what you get and if I’m footing the bill then even more so??? With my current partner it’s a tad more complicated because he does pay more but as I say always proportionally and the house is in his name and shit. I see why he’s entitled to ask me to do stuff how he wants but I also don’t think it’s fair because to *him* I certainly never promised I would. To her I did say like I want marriage and kids but to him I said those are all off the table and I’m gay and a bit poly but I’m willing to try him out and he must know that I’ll do crazy shit sometimes and either one is ok with it or one is not.

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mxchineherald · 8 months ago

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➻　NAME　 : : 　Zigg , Ziggy , Z

➻　PRONOUNS　 : : 　it/its/they/them

➻　MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?　 : : 　my blog here @mxchineherald and my Silco blog @zaunseye, I have a muse list here, but most of them are on hiatus or very low activity.

➻　RP PET PEEVES?　 : : 　Having to lead a whole thread is up there, but I think being expected to match length gets to me too. Some days all I can manage is a two or three paragraphs, especially when I've run out of inner thoughts to express. I've have had old ex-partners imply to me that replying with a shorter length is rude or inconsiderate and I don't get it??? Like, I'm moving the plot along, just without as much inner monologue.

➻　EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS　 : : 　Technically, I've been roleplaying since I was very little. I learned to type early, and was online and roleplaying(with parental supervision, actually) by the time I was about 9. So I'd say about 21 years.

➻　FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT　 : : 　Hard to say! Depends on the plot itself, but I'm always down for some angst. Preferably angst revolving around injury, illness, and vulnerability. Something about my character either being in a vulnerable position or taking care of someone else in a vulnerable position just tickles me. I feel like it leads to a fair amount of development that may otherwise never happen between characters.

➻　PLOTS OR MEMES　 : : 　I like both! Plotting is a good way to establish a relationship between two muses, and also gives me an idea of the preferences of my partner, while memes are a great way to further flesh out that relationship and put it into difference scenarios we might not have thought of on our own. Sometimes it's straight up crack-rp which can be fun from time to time!

➻　LONG OR SHORT REPLIES　 : : 　It all depends on the current flow of roleplay. I'm up for something as long as 7-10 paragraphs, or as short as two or three sentences. This blog is meant for interaction of all forms, including long or short form roleplay. I used to try and force myself to pump out long replies every time, but that was leading to burnout and depression. It was making RP a job rather than a hobby. So now I just go with the flow of the thread and give what I feel is an appropriate response.

➻　TIME TO WRITE　 : : 　Whenever I get inspiration, honestly! My life has been hectic and sad lately, with some personal losses and a nasty cold rearing its ugly head. I might be a slower RPer at the moment, but it's what's balanced out for me with my IRL issues and other hobbies, like fanfiction and fanart.

➻　ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)　 : : 　I relate to Viktor in a lot of ways, even down to having a bad leg on the same side as him. I connect to his want to leave a legacy, and his desire to help people in need. I share his pessimism toward the rich elite, as well as his short tempter with concepts like social climbing and masking. I, too, wish to just sit in the dark and work on my projects.

tagged by :: @runes-menagerie (ty!) tagging :: anyone who wants to do this, tag me so I can see

#assessment ;; dash games

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cypheroo · 9 months ago

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Hello! I saw that your character matchups are open and I'm interested in one, if that's okay with you! c:

It's my first time doing something like this so pray for me lol

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Matchup tone: Romantic

My pronouns: she/her

My likes: sports, writing, exploring/hiking/discovering new places/traveling, sightseeing, hanging out with people i cherish, dogs, reading, studying whatever sounds interesting.

I'm honestly not sure what to write in terms of personality, so i'll just drop in a few words that describe me, and if it'll help you some of these:

I'm a virgo & ENTJ.

Sincere, adventurous, dedicated, flexible, confident, cautious, straightforward, sometimes moody, sometimes can come off as closed off or defensive (only sometimes), and afterwards people usually discover that i mean no harm.

I'd like my partner to: bring out the fun & adventurous side of me, be a little more open than me, be rather similar (but obviously not completely identical) to me so we don't clash often, be athletic & energetic.

No-no characters: Cursed spirits (ex. Mahito, Sukuna), women (I'm romantically interested in guys), Panda (we chill but only platonically ykyk), Ijichi, Gakuganji.

And that's about it! Hopefully it wasn't too much hah, I tried keeping it short. I also hope I didn't mess up anything, but if I did, please let me know! It might take some time for me to answer but I certainly will. Super excited to see who I got!

Thank you! :D

JJK MATCHUP! ~ ♤

HUH? THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME?? YOU DID AMAZING! gave me all the info I needed as well! So tysm! Hope you enjoy the matchup! It was as so hard bc I was thinking about gojo or yuta working well with you (for different reasons lol)

Your match up isss....

YUJI!

It was either an accident him telling you he had feelings for you or it was you who told him ill be fr.

Both you and yuji bounce off each other super well! Both of you aren't perfectly the same, but that works even more considering he's a lot more extroverted and out there while you're more there to bring more logic to the table.

Actually

Yuji and you probably work out or go on walks together a lot. He finds working outore enjoyable with you, and it makes for more time he can also spend with you!

As much as hed love to go out often and share time under the sun he also understands and urges your to let him know when you really want a home day. He'll gladly oblige! He just needs you to tell him.

While most times are good, we can't deny arguments and disagreements are bound to happen l and when they do yuji is often the one who apologizes, but he does actively attempt to learn and grow the relationship.

Istg this man has brought a stray to your shared apartment at least twice, the reason being he couldn't just leave the little dude there!

I do feel like he wouldn't really call you pet names other than the normal babe every once in a while, but he usually prefers your name.

He also will go out of his way and learn a few things from whatever you're currently studying interested in so he could talk to you about them

He'll usually follow your moves if you need to run errands or head to the store he wants to come with you

Adding on to the one above he likes following behind you when it comes to shopping or being in busy places.

He'd definitely get you a bouquet that has more wild flowers in it, because those bouquets remind him of you.

Tags

#reader insert #x reader #x you #matchups #jujutsu kaisen

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dead-dog-dont-eat · 10 months ago

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opinion on ribbun (jax x gangle)?

I don't like/love it. For me personally, due to my past trauma/PTSD from being bullied in elementary and middle school (it was bad; both verbal and sexual harassment), it is TOO triggering for me bc I hate how jax, an asshole (i love him, ngl), is picking on gangle, a girl who's a shy wet rag of a woman (in an affectionate way, also cuz I love girlfails/girl-losers). Ik that ship thrives on them being either like joker and Harley or that jax is an asshole but with a heart--I just hate how the ship is portrayed.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE dark-centered ships. Including ones that are yandere (coping ship mechanism for my BPD), sadodere and masodere, ships with murderers and slashers, and ones with villains. Especially in ones with gay/lesbian couples or "women who wear the pants in the relationship" type, but I draw the line with straight women being abused by men. Period. You can call me a hypocrite, sure, but I have boundaries with ships. But when it's a woman getting abused by a man, I want her to take revenge and escape her abuser and/or also either kill him or beat the shit out of him so she can be independent. Ik some women can't escape their abusers for various and realistic reasons, especially in fictional media.

Additionally, I also know that some women also thrive on these ships as a coping mechanism too, for their fair share of trauma. Everyone has a different boundary or coping for their trauma and I love and respect that as well. For my mechanism, I love when victims stand up against their abusers (Like Angel Dust did w/ Valentino during "Welcome to Heaven"; and Fizzarolli with Mammon in "Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special" from S2 EP7) including Harley being independent and breaking up with Joker in the movie "Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey" and in her animated series "Harley Quinn" where she also broke up with him; there was also a DC comic where she also beat up the Joker (you go girl). I also love when their current partners are willing to throw down a fight (like Asmodeus) or go on a killing spree just to protect their lovers from abusive exes or enemies (I'm like that, too, seriously: like, if my girlfriend were to tell me about her abusive ex I'll be like "Give me a name, their address, and I'll be over there to break their kneecaps and sell their vital organs to the black market 4U." Yes, I am that type of yandere, lol).

However, I'm not negative towards ribbun shippers at all. Sure, I dislike the ship, but I don't dislike them. Plus I already avoid ribbun posts and tags so I'm already good. Sorry for the rant, anon, just venting a bit on my personal opinion--but thanks for wanting to know a ship I like/dislike. /gen

#leaving this untagged just because

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himadrics · 1 year ago

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વેવિશાળ [Vevishal]

(My Feminist Commentary Part - 4/5)

"મુસ્કાન બવ માથાભારે છે!"

Translation: "Muskan is too headstrong!"

said my ex-father-in-law while returning my stuff back to my family. Sharing my mother’s optimism that I could do both—build an ambitious career and not put my personal life on hold—I had agreed to getting married to my boyfriend of five years. We had a formal engagement ceremony, where we exchanged rings and celebrated with our families, and I was excited about the prospect of our life together. There is a photo album in my cupboard which holds the memories of that day on glossy paper. There is also a પાનેતર [Panetar] (traditional Gujarati Saree for the bride) in the same cupboard that I planned to wear on the day of my wedding. However, that day never came!

In India, getting married is quite common and considered very important, which is why the divorce rate is also very low. Hence most of the Indians get married and stay together for the rest of their lives. While dating and marrying for love is becoming more popular, arranged marriages are still common in India. In my family, all marriages are arranged marriages and I am the first person who dated openly.

I was about to finish high-school and turn 18 when I had my first ever conversation about dating with my parents. It was a summer evening and we were enjoying some cold drinks on the balcony of our small apartment. My mother was recounting her experiences about getting marriage proposals as soon as she had turned eighteen. "It put બાપુજી [Bapuji] (my grandfather) in an awkward position. He felt awkward when people would keep asking for my hand in marriage before I was ready. But things have changed now. No one is going to bother us by asking for your hand until you graduate from college," she said. "I don't think that I will get married that way," I said. "How do you plan to get married then?" asked my father curiously. "I am going to date!" I replied. "But that is not our culture!" said my mother, refusing to engage with the idea any further. "We will see," said my father without showing disapproval. I wondered about બા [Ba] (my grandmother)'s reaction as she was not present during the conversation. In Indian families, grandparents often play a significant role in decision-making, so her opinion would be important. It is important to note that at the age of 17, I was convinced that someday I am supposed to get married. I was not questioning the notion of marriages but just the tradition of arranged marriages.

Universities are a great place for learning and romance, and I did both ;). He was the lead guitarist in our garage band and he also made me laugh (so cliché!). But the important thing about him was that he never treated me differently for being a woman. He always valued my opinion, whether we were discussing music, academics, or current events. He encouraged me to pursue my goals and never suggested that I should limit my ambitions because of my gender. In the band, he treated me as an equal partner, not just a "female guitarist." He always made sure my voice was heard and my contributions were recognized.

Women are not treated as equals in most of the marriages that I have seen. Young women are often told to compromise against the discrimination that comes with the wedding traditions and the married life. They either resign themselves to the discrimination or spend their lives fighting for equality. In contrast, I always saw my boyfriend as my equal. We grew up in the same city, came from the same socioeconomic class, went to the same university and graduated with the same degrees. We were equals in every sense. So when it came to marriage, I had high hopes about achieving an equal partnership with him.

While I'm happy that we sustained equality in our relationship while dating, when it came to marriage, I started receiving a lot of discrimination in the name of wedding traditions and expectations from a wife and a daughter-in-law. I also experienced subtle pressures to conform to traditional roles within the family. Having zero tolerance for gender-based discrimination in my personal life, I obviously protested against it. But my protests were met with resistance. Unwilling to settle for anything less than being treated like an equal, I had to call off the wedding. It is important to note that for the first time ever in my life, I started questioning the notion of marriage in my mid-20s thanks to this incident.

બા never got equality in her marriage and my mother too hasn't achieved it completely. My boyfriend and I had equality as long as we stayed boyfriend and girlfriend, but it got thrown out of the window as soon as we decided to become husband and wife. It's absurd how such a small change in our titles could have such a profound impact on our relationship. It made me realize how deeply ingrained these expectations are, even among people who consider themselves progressive. It's as if the institution of marriage itself carries with it a set of traditional roles and power dynamics that are difficult to shake off.

This experience of calling off a wedding primarily because I failed at sustaining an equal partnership is quite an unusual reason in my social circle, where women often make compromises for marriage. I have seen no examples where a woman challenged the discriminatory expectations at the risk of not getting married. I did not win, but I am proud that I protested. Instead of asking me to compromise, my family respected my feminist ideas and stood by me. I see that as a huge milestone in the women's condition in my family.

When people get to know about my feminist crusade for equality in wedding traditions and marriages, I generally get two kinds of reactions. Some people react with "Wow! That is brave!" and the others call me nuts :p. Most of the people in my social circle claim that India is not there yet when it comes to equality within marriages. "But why not?" I ask. It's frustrating to hear this, especially when I consider all the ways we've achieved equality in other areas of life:

We go to the same schools.

We study from the same books.

We write the same exams.

We compete for admission to the same universities.

We take the same courses and graduate with the same degrees.

We work on building the same skills and compete for the same jobs.

We often earn the same salaries.

We pay the same taxes on our income.

Despite all this, why are we still allowing men the ages-old special treatment when it comes to marriages? Why even the couples who managed to date as equals fail to remain equals when it comes to marriages?

I paid attention to married women under the age of 40 at a recent social gathering. Most of them were in charge of providing care for their children and in-laws with little to no help from their husbands. For these women, it was simply out of scope to take care of themselves, their diet, and exercising. Some of these women had already become obese. Many of them suffered from chronic pain in their necks, backs, knees, and other joints. These women were struggling with basic health and well-being even before turning 40. This is often what happens when husbands fail to bring in their 50% in the marriage, leaving their wives to shoulder the majority of the burden. Married women end up in this situation where they are overworked, exhausted, and unable to prioritize their own health.

Just like cricket, you can't escape marriages in India, and everyone I know from school and university is either already married or about to get married. Unlike cricket, I still take a keen interest in marriages, because a marriage is the perfect sport to understand a woman's situation. I still often go to cheer for my favorite teams when they tie the knot. But after facing injuries from a foul play, like being pressured to conform to traditional gender roles, and getting betrayed by the third umpire—society's expectations—I do not play anymore. Now I instead sit in the commentary box and enjoy the sport from a safe distance!

#feminism #india #women #indianwomen

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beyondspaceandstars · 4 years ago

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Around Your Neck

Bonus: Part 2

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader feat. Voyeur!Zemo Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, penetrative sex, choking, metal arm kink, fingering, public sex, voyeurism, degradation, humiliation, dirty talk - 18+, minors DNI. Summary: Zemo was quite intrigued by you and Bucky fucking on his plane that he takes some bold steps when he sees you two running off to do similar activities on another one of his properties. A/N: alright! this idea actually stems from a conversation that took place in the original ‘Around You Neck’ piece. A reader (see full exchange below) threw around the idea of Zemo watching and someone second but it took me a while to actually get down how to go about this although i think i got it I THINK I DID GOOD. i enjoyed it so fingers crossed this lives up to any expectations

Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 3

Things had gotten hot and heavy between you and Bucky once again upon settling into Zemo’s place.

Once the gig was up and everyone was fully aware of your particular interest in a particular arm, you didn’t even attempt to hide your lustful gazing.

And something about that sure got Bucky going.

He pushed you against the wall of the fancy bathroom. His lips were on yours from the second he made some lame-ass excuse to pull you away from Sam and Zemo.

Sam had chosen to ignore it, not feeling like now was the time to lecture either of you. Zemo on the other hand had watched silently as Bucky’s hand gripped the back of your neck and your thighs twitched in response before you two disappeared into the bathroom.

You had felt Zemo’s eyes on you two as Bucky fumbled with the door before shoving you in, deepening the kiss, but you had chosen to ignore it and instead got caught up in the sensations of your boyfriend.

Nearly everything in the world had been forgotten the moment Bucky lifted you up and your legs wrapped around his torso. He walked you carefully backward, your back hit a wall.

“You’re driving me absolutely mad,” Bucky whispered in your ear, his voice as rough and passionate as his actions. His hardness grinded into your heated core as he spoke, earning a pathetic whine from you.

“I-I haven’t done anything.” You just about giggled at the end of your claim of innocence. Bucky responded by attacking your neck with kisses, nipping and sucking as he made his way across your hot skin.

You let out a light moan and made your own grinding actions against him. He shook his head, trying to taunt and deny you, but then little begs fell from your lips. The sweet sounds of “please” always made him absolutely weak - not that he’d ever admit it. Instead, he slowly let one hand make its way to your pants button while his metal arm held you perfectly.

When you realized the position, you swore you could feel yourself getting wetter. Just the realization he was holding you with one arm - the metal arm - so effortlessly while his other hand started work on giving you some relief made something turn in your stomach.

Bucky must’ve realized all this as he let out a deep chuckle once he undid your pants and shoved his hand into your panties. Two fingers first started little circular motions on your clit before moving them over your soaking folds.

He inserted the, slowly, letting you feel every inch of his fingers. “So fucking wet,” he groaned in your ear as he planted a kiss on the corner of your mouth. “Haven’t even done anything yet it’s a fucking puddle in your panties. Ridiculous.”

The degrading words did not help your situation as you let out a loud gasping moan. Bucky was enjoying this, letting you be as loud as you wanted despite the others clearly in the house. You could only hope that they had decided to leave upon catching wind of what you two were up to.

But that turned out not to be the case.

As Bucky began adding a third finger to the mix, the bathroom door opened. At first, you didn’t even notice it. Eyes closed, your brain was only focused on getting your boyfriend to hurry up and fuck you, you were totally lost in your own world. For your super-soldier ex-assassin boyfriend, though, it was harder for him to turn his senses off.

Abruptly, all motions stopped. Bucky lifted his head from your neck as his fingers stilled inside you. You opened your eyes unwillingly and looked down at your boyfriend. His eyes were wide as yours were furrowed in confusion.

A heavily accented voice cut through the silence from the doorway. “Don’t stop on my account.��

You gasped - and this time it wasn’t one of pleasure. You started wiggling, trying to get a now furious Bucky away from you. He caught on and ripped his hand from your pants. Angry but still handling you with care, his arm placed you back on the ground. You turned away from the door, trying to fix your clothes as Bucky faced the intruder.

“What the fuck are you doing? Get the hell out.” Bucky’s voice boomed throughout the room, bouncing off every tile.

You flinched at the sound as you turned around, presently decent. Your eyes fell on Zemo who was currently leaning against the doorframe, a stupid smirk on his face and a fire in his eyes.

He shrugged, completely unbothered, and slowly closed the door again behind him. “Can’t a man watch what’s happening in his own home?” You and Bucky shared a questioning glance. “You two just seem to like sneaking off. Forgive me if my curiosity has peaked but this is a fascinating situation.”

“What the hell are you going on about?” You sighed, frustrated in more ways than one.

“I’m a man who likes to know what’s going on,” he crossed his arms, “especially when it’s happening in my space.”

“I really don’t-,”

“He wants to watch,” Bucky cut you off but his eyes were still trained on Zemo’s cocky, slightly too proud stance. Your stomach unexpectedly fluttered.

Taking a deep breath, you asked, “W-Watch?” Your voice was suddenly weak as the frustrations - the good ones - hit you again.

“Hmm, interesting,” said Zemo as if he was casually thinking out loud. As if this was the perfect time for some brainstorming session. Your blood was boiling at his casualness.

You rolled your eyes, biting the bait that he cast like a foolish, edged woman. “What’s interesting?”

“You didn’t say no.”

You and Bucky began spewing protests to his claim.

“I-I was in shock-,”

“It doesn’t mean anything-,”

“You’re insane-,”

Zemo lifted his hand to stop you both. Your two voices were getting muddled as your words fought to defend. You gave in, quickly halting all complaints. You could see from the corner of your eye Bucky watching you a bit cautiously now but you didn’t want to face him. You still, for some reason, felt hot and bothered by this… proposition.

“Am I really that insane?” He asked, taking a slow step towards you. “You think you’re hiding it but you can’t stop shifting your stance and those pretty thighs won’t stop squeezing together.” Zemo paused, chuckling a bit to himself. You glared, keeping your eyes locked with his despite how overwhelming it all was. “Are you going to tell me that I’m wrong, dear? Because I don’t think I am. In fact, I think you’d more than just enjoy it. I think you actually crave it.”

Your heart sank at Zemo’s publicized revelation. How the hell did he even pick up on that? Was he somehow in your fucking mind? Your eyes searched his expression, looking for signs that he was pulling your leg or playing some fucking games but his features were cold with a hint of curiosity. You weren’t sure what to say because, well, he really wasn’t wrong. But this didn’t stem from some blatant attraction to Zemo (even though that desire certainly was harboring deep, deep within you), you had always had some interest in sexual adventures on the more voyeuristic side.

Bucky, however, didn’t know any of this.

For all the intimate actions you two had already explored -- including the new-found metal arm kink -- you hadn’t brought this up, finding it to be some ultimate, untouchable achievement with your partner.

Bucky said your name, pulling you out of your dazed thoughts. You finally faced him, taking in his not-so-surprising expression of wonder. “Is that true?” There was something in his tone that made your heart leap. He was… excited, you thought. “Is this making you…”

Your mouth opened but no words came out.

Zemo opted to answer for you. “You know it is, James.”

Bucky licked his lips and took a couple of steps towards you, focused on getting an answer personally from you. He was very close now, pretty much towering of you. “Does the thought of someone watching us make you wet?”

His words hit the room like explosive bombs. You gasped at the boldness, trying to act all surprised at the question, but your body couldn’t hide anything, especially not when Bucky’s metal arm came up to trace invisible lines across your neck. He held your head up, forcing you to keep your eyes on him. The entire situation felt so powerful.

“N-No.”

Both Bucky and Zemo let out scoffs in disbelief. You sighed, defeated.

“Oh, really?” Bucky inquired as he began walking towards you again, getting so close that you had no choice but to back up. You hit the wall once again, feeling almost in the position from earlier.

Without any warning, Bucky undid your pants and once again shoved his hand back to your core, letting his fingers run over your folds. If your panties had a puddle earlier, it was now a full-blown ocean down there. You yelped in surprise.

Bucky hummed as he let his fingers play. “I think the thought makes you very wet.” He pressed into you just a bit more, enough for you to now feel his erection through his jeans.

As Bucky inserted two fingers in you, he moved his head to meet yours. You grabbed onto his shoulders as the hand on your throat forced your head to tilt to the side, making room for him to whisper in your ears.

He pumped his fingers slowly as he spoke, “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” You let out a pathetic whine. “Yeah, you sure are,” Bucky chuckled. “I can feel it. I can feel you soaking my hand and why is that? Because someone is watching you? Someone’s watching you take my fingers like a good girl while my hand is wrapped around your pretty throat, just how I know you like it. Isn’t that right, dear?”

Bucky sneered, his voice full of arousal and jealousy, at the little pet name Zemo had used on you. You just about collapsed when he spoke. If it hadn’t been for Bucky’s strong body pressing into yours, you would’ve melted into the floor. Not to mention, you could feel Zemo’s eyes taking you in, raking over you so shamelessly as you twisted and squirmed from Bucky’s skilled fingering.

“She is quite the sight,” Zemo commented, making observations as if you weren’t even in the room. For some reason, that made everything hotter.

“M-More-,” you choked out and began grinding your hips against Bucky’s body. His grip on your throat got a bit tighter at your movement, forcing you to let out a moan.

“You want more?” Bucky taunted you as his thumb came up to circle your clit. You yelped, moving your hips even more. His body was still holding you down. “You want me to fuck you right here for him to see?”

Your eyes had fluttered close by now but Bucky wasn’t dealing with that. The hand on your neck left and found its way into your hair. He gave your hair a tug, forcing you to keep looking at him. His eyes bore into yours, full of lust and pleasure. His features, though, were harsh and serious. You felt your orgasm coming in hard. You couldn’t even think straight to nod at his ridiculous question.

Bucky seemed to know all this, though. Just as fast as he put his hand down your pants, he removed it, making you let out an angry, pitiful whine at the loss of contact. Bucky just shook his head and forced you to turn around. Now your front was completely pushed against the wall and Bucky was working fast to get your pants and panties off.

You couldn’t really see anything behind you now and somehow, this got you going even more. You lost pretty much all control in this position. Your awareness was flying out the window. You had no idea what Bucky’s next moves would be and you certainly didn’t know how Zemo looked taking this all in.

Suddenly, though, a hand came up to your cheek, brushing back your hair. You knew immediately it wasn’t Bucky.

“You look so pretty, dear,” Zemo whispered. His hand caressed your cheek as his eyes stared into your blown-out ones. “Like an absolute goddess.”

Before you could even respond or at least show acknowledgment, Bucky entered you full force, his hips completely jutting against you. You let out a cry at the fullness, completely stunned by the boldness of your boyfriend. He groaned lowly in your ear as he worked his way well deep into you.

“B-Bucky-” Your cries were loud as you adjusted to the size of him, now planted rightfully in you. While there was some discomfort, all you could register was the pleasure you had been denied for what felt like forever.

“Shh,” he hushed you, his mouth right against your ear. “You’re taking it so well, doll. My good little girl.”

You could’ve sobbed at his words of encouragement. He watched you for a second, still paused inside you, before feeling that you were okay. Then the pumping began, in and out of you, just as powerful as when Bucky first entered you. His rhythm was hypnotizing as he fucked you forcefully into the wall.

Upping the ante a bit, his metal arm came around to your neck, squeezing gently but with determination. You felt yourself get wetter at the action.

“There you go,” Bucky mumbled, sounding lost in his own daze. “Just like that, sweetheart. Got me fucking you against a wall, my hand around your throat, while we have a little audience. But that’s what you wanted, right? You wanted to show off how you like to get fucked.”

Somehow, his words were so degrading yet so pleasing. They went straight to your core causing the sound of your wetness to begin filling the room. You heard Zemo chuckle at the shift.

“Such a dirty girl you have, James.”

Bucky scoffed. “What a naughty girl I have. Didn’t even tell me she likes it when people watch.”

You whined at the statement but didn’t have much time to ponder it as Bucky pulled out of the way out only to shove right back in, forcing you to take his length in one motion. Your cries were becoming a regular thing now, completely engrossed in the situation.

“That’s it, sweetheart, so good,” Bucky grunted in your ear as his hand on your throat got tighter. “Gonna cum for me, yeah? Gonna come while he watches? Come on, doll, let him see how pretty you look falling apart.”

That was all it took. Your orgasm rushed through you the second his words stopped and he gave another strong pump. Slightly ashamed of yourself for how little it took for you to cum, but who could really blame you? Denied twice, you were always on that teetering and all that was needed was Bucky’s permission.

You shook under Bucky as he stilled inside you, letting his own orgasm take him over. He finished inside you, groaning and moaning pleasantly in your ear as you squirmed. The sensation of it all, from the warmth of Bucky filling you to Zemo’s eyes still shamelessly watching, had you overwhelmed quickly.

Bucky whispered sweet praises in your ear as you two calmed down. “So good for me, sweetheart. Absolutely fucking perfect. Can never get enough of this.” His words made you feel warm and definitely helped you catch your breath.

When he saw you were going to be fine, Bucky pulled out and reached for a towel to clean you up. He was gentle and caring, a complete contrast to just minutes ago.

Pants and underwear returned to your body and you pushed yourself slowly away from the wall, carefully finding your footing.

Once you and Bucky had straightened up your appearance, Zemo spoke.

“That certainly was a real treat,” he said with a cocky smile playing on his lips. You couldn’t really face him and instead focused on the floor. Bucky placed a gentle hand on your waist. “Nothing to be ashamed of, dear. I think we got what we all wanted, right?”

You mustered the courage to at least look up at Bucky who was just rolling his eyes.

“Could you leave us for now?” Bucky sighed.

“Why?” Zemo asked. “Going for round two?”

You shook your head, fighting your own urge to roll your eyes. No matter how mad you actually wanted to be, though, you had certainly found a lot of pleasure in the events just seconds earlier.

Bucky went to snap back with some remarks but Zemo cut him off. “I’m just kidding,” he said and then began walking to the door. “Thank you for this opportunity. It will certainly be treasured.”

With that, he exited, leaving you and Bucky standing there, staring at one another. Surprisingly, nothing had felt it changed between you two. In fact, you felt better now that that little secret of yours was now out in the open.

“So,” Bucky began with the tiniest smirk, “are there any other kinks of yours I need to know about?”

You groaned as Bucky chuckled, finding way too much amusement now. “Shut up.”

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