#they HAVE an archive at least is the thing

[headspace-hotel]

I've been reading some more of the works of eugenicists while thinking about the state of education about this ideology. Yes, "Eugenics" is a dirty word nowadays; in my opinion, it's not nearly dirty enough.

Here's a fact to make your head spin: Eugenics wasn't about killing people. Yes, it ended up killing people, and if you examine the way eugenics has influenced the world, you realize it still does kill people, but the architects of eugenics weren't leading with, "My fellow countrymen, we should On Purpose Kill People."

The reason that's important is, people keep coming up with ideas labeled (by their critics) "uncomfortably similar to eugenics"--- ideas for a compassionate, scientifically-grounded way of improving humanity by understanding the heredity of good and bad traits and influencing the fertility rates of people with different genetic traits.

There is already a word for this kind of idea. That word is: eugenics. It is silly to set yourself apart from eugenicists by explicitly repudiating killing people or forcibly sterilizing them, when many founding eugenicists also explicitly repudiated killing people or forcibly sterilizing them.

Here is an Internet Archive link to "Heredity in relation to eugenics," a work by Charles Benedict Davenport, an early eugenicist. Please read at least the first four pages.

I'm afraid that his brief introduction to eugenics could sound, to the layperson, surprisingly less scary and disgusting than expected. Mister Davenport's word choices may provide a "red flag" to the reader: he refers to human babies as a "valuable crop," to marriage between people as "mating." The disquiet these word choices cause is because they dehumanize the subjects. Humans, from Davenport's perspective, are essentially the same as agricultural plants or animals, which in turn are assets, sources of economic gain---they are things.

Davenport articulates the contribution of a human being to the United States: "...forming a united, altruistic, God-serving, law-abiding, effective and productive nation." However, relatively few people are "fully effective" at this purpose, because a proportion of society is "non-productive"---either criminals or disabled, or among the people required to care for and control criminals and the disabled.

After you read the introduction of Davenport's book, read his wikipedia page. He was a Nazi. He was a Nazi until the day he died. He was rabidly and repugnantly racist, so much so that his later scientific works fudged together garbage conclusions that contradicted his actual data in order to prop up his racist beliefs. He lobbied Congress to restrict immigration into the USA, out of the belief that the immigrants would poison the blood of our country with inferior genetics.

Overwhelmingly, eugenicists were concerned with disability. They believed that disability would normally be eliminated by natural selection, and that caring for the disabled and allowing them to grow up and to have children would cause a steady increase in the proportion of society made up of disabled people---who were, as Davenport puts it, a "burden" on society.

Eugenicists were also concerned with race. They wanted to gather data that demonstrated what they already believed: that race was a biological reality, a reality that could only appear unclear or malleable because of harmful, aberrant, unnatural scenarios, namely miscegenation or race mixing. Basically, race was both a natural reality, and in need of enforcement.

But eugenicist ideology was not just about the inferiority of disabled people or people of color. Eugenicists thought of their ideas as a science and thought of themselves as scientists, and they broadly addressed virtually everything we would now consider a matter of "public health." Eugenicist writings almost universally address crime, and often don't recognize a clear distinction between crime and mental disability, or between either of those things and poverty. Criminals, disabled people and poor people were basically the same; they had something wrong with their genes that made them that way.

"Sexual deviance" is generally included in this, and Davenport explicitly references this in his introduction, where he says that "normal" people are not likely to have the kind of sex that leads to the transmission of STIs.

For many proponents (including Davenport), the key dogma of eugenics was that genes predetermined everything about a person. Tuberculosis was a huge problem at the time, and eugenicists were insisting that, although the disease was known to be bacterial, susceptibility to the disease was genetic, and therefore people who became sick with tuberculosis were genetically defective. Likewise if a child developed epilepsy after a head injury, the injury did not cause the epilepsy but instead revealed an inherent genetic weakness that was already there. This implied that spending resources on healing or rehabilitating anybody was a waste of time.

If you read more of Davenport's book, you will see that he makes some WILD statements---he asserts that artistic talent is a Mendelian trait controlled by a single gene, basically that you are either born an artist or you aren't. This seems absolutely absurd but, there is a good amount of popular belief in inherent aptitudes for art or music or math or what have you.

Eugenics isn't just about named prejudices like racism or ableism, it is even bigger than that, it is a set of beliefs encompassing how the potential and value of human beings is determined and how society should care for its members as a result of that.

[medicinemane]

One ring to rule them all

Tonight’s Exquisite Golden Eye of Exceptional Staring belongs to Round Frog!

[areyougonnabe]

SO YOU WANT TO VISIT THE SCOTT POLAR RESEARCH INSTITUTE ARCHIVES

Step One - Preparing

Use the Archives database to find the exact manuscript items you want to see. It's kind of hard to use so make sure A) you're on desktop and B) you're dragging the little gray sidebar out to the left to see the full list of contents of a given collection.

Then select the documents - each individual document or group of documents you want should begin with "MS" like this - and copy them into a note or document

Now you can out the open dates on the archive booking request page and book yourself a desk for one or multiple days. Copy your document list into the form when they ask what you'll want to look at. Don't worry, if you run out on the day or add more to your list in the meantime, you can request more stuff when you're actually seated at the archives

You do not need to be a university affiliated scholar to book a desk.

SPRI has been visited by amateurs, obsessives, cranks, and enthusiasts since before you were born. Rest assured you are FAR from the least qualified or weirdest person to step foot in the archive room (cough HUNTFORD)

Step Two - The Trip

Get yourself to Cambridge, UK! There is LOTS of stuff to do there besides the SPRI (pronounced "spry", not "spree") so for your first visit I'd recommend booking a whole weekend stay.

I would ALSO recommend going with a polarhead friend!!! You can split accommodation and also have someone to squee with which is very important

Apart from the SPRI museum itself (separate from the archives, quite small but worth an entire morning to just browse and buy stuff at the gift store) I would recommend The Fitzwilliam Museum, Kettle's Yard, & The Sedgwick Museum for museums, Fitzbillies for delicious cream tea and fancy brunching, Ark & G. David Bookstore for gifts. (But those are just my personal faves and I'm sure people have tons of other recs if you ask!)

The SPRI archives kick you out at lunch for an hour so I'd recommend taking a lap of the main university area, grabbing a snack and stumbling upon delightful spots on your own during that time.

Step Three - The Archives

The archives are run by Naomi. There used to be two Naomis so we called her "archives Naomi" but now there is just the one. She has gray hair and glasses and pretty much knows everything about everything although is very low-key about it.

Naomi will greet you when you arrive in the tiny archives room, hand you some forms to sign (and pay, if you want to take photographs it's £5), and then give you a printed out list of all the stuff you requested.

You'll indicate which item on the list you want to look at first, and she'll go back into the archives and bring out that item in a folder.

If it's a bound book you can use one of the pillow things and a snake to keep the pages open. If it's a flat document like a letter, you'll use your bare hands very carefully to turn the pages - make sure to keep them in order.

If it's a photograph or physical image, first of all you'll get it from Lucy the picture archive person instead of Naomi, and second of all you'll have to use gloves.

Most documents like letters you can take your own photographs of freely (as long as you've paid your £5). Some documents are restricted, whether because they're Xeroxes of documents held elsewhere or for other reasons — those you can't photograph and can only view & transcribe in person. You also can't photograph images but reproduction for personal use begins at £50 PER IMAGE and I could kvetch about that forever but whatever.

The rule for diaries is that you can photograph 10% of the pages of them. Yeah man I don't know.

When you're done with a particular document you'll put it back in its folder and get Naomi's attention (she's in the same room separated by a glass partition and you just kind of have to wave her down) and she'll go get you the next item. If and when you run out of items you can ask for more, or be done for the day and go hang out in the gorgeous library!

TIPS AND TRICKS

Naomi can be a little intimidating at first but if you are simply polite and normal and interested, she may deliver you Special Treats from her proprietary archivist's catalogue which is not available to the public. This didn't happen to me until my third visit and it felt like unlocking a relationship level in a videogame :')

Have your computer open next to you so that you can quickly transcribe stuff, make notes, and scan the catalogue for anything else you need. I've found I've always ended up ordering more stuff day-of, usually when something I requested turns out to be boring or not useful.

If you are not able to get to SPRI physically, they don't have a lot online which is frustrating - but instead of paying the exorbitant scanning fees, try asking on social media about a particular document. There's a chance one of us heads has been there and looked at it already and has the photographs/transcripts you need!

Publishing: if you want to use quotes from any archive documents in a blog post or published work (like.. other than a tumblr post, something professional lol) you need to send in a form. The form is hard to find so you're best off asking Naomi to email you the blank form before you leave the archive.

and lastly don't forget to say hi to Deb and admire the beautiful facade of the building!!!!!

that's all, HAPPY ARCHIVING!

[redjaybathood]

Just look at the tags. They know it's a scam, queer bait, fascist - well, they're focusing more on the homophobic aspect of it, because they don't really care how these women now are supporting war in Ukraine, entertaining dictators, doing propaganda shows, travelling to the occupied cities of Ukraine, all the while leaving queer baiting shitck behind, mainly, 'cause the laws of the country they support would deem it criminal. Not the exploitative aspect of it, but the gay aspect of it - but at least they know these two are homophobic.

So yeah, people are still simping for them, some are so deep into nostalgia of it all, they only care these two were the first lesbians they saw on stage.

Having English as your third or fourth language doesn't make a person who fairly pointed out that this whole thing is disappointing, to say the least, wrong. Your post may have talked about things 20 years ago, their post about present. But even by the measurements of 20 years ago, nothing they did was groundbreaking.

And it's not that the progress is non-linear, it's just the russian culture in nutshell. After 20s come the 30s with Red Terror, after Stalin's death there's warming up. After the fall of USSR there were nineties, and russians didn't like the nineties, so here comes putin and stays for 20+ years.

(and oh, op absolutely counts. Running an archiving blog doesn't necesiate you to post russian propagandists even if they were a big thing back in the day...)

t.A.T.u. performing ‘all the things she said’, 2003

[northwestcomixcollective]

post epilogue au bill jerry mandi schizoposting delirium whatever hte fuck Context here im quoting comic books and literature no one on tumblrs ever heard of its mostly for archive purposes and the people that care at least a little bit

i sort of picture bills homosexuality as sort of like a thing he would never admit to or act upon and especially with jerry being the only guy who's ever tried to reach out to him and be kind to him to touch him to reach out etc etc being deprived of human touch for 10 years i definitely think they're gay i picture him as a bukowski or crumb bu,t in the way they objectify and degrade women and not the sort of intellectual type and at the same time bwing q repressed homosexual virgin in his late twenties is something i really want to explore

sex isnt everythinf but seeing how important it is for them and how significative and how women are sexual objects and all i think it definitely affects his view on himselg

i think there's this underlying animalistic urge to be close and be together theyve been around eachother since they were kids they really have no one else that's been through what they've been through and even though jerry wants to let go bill is still stuck on it which is why he's so clingy to jerry he's the only thing he has left really the only person that reached out the only guy that somewhat cares i wouldnt be talking about bill clinging on like a koala ofherwise he really does """"love"""" jerry jn the sense he let him stay he touches his shoulder he gave him a change of clothes despite everything that hapoened see gif below

i definitely want there to be a scene of bill breaking down and being liek Jerry....... i like men.......... and just like crying geeking and jerry holding him close and putting his cold nose on his neck and telling him it's all finewhile holding him he caresses him blalallaa whatever for the first time in like 30 something years he feels appreciated loved and held jerry doesnt even know what he's doing holding this piece of shit garbage scum that said the most obscene garbage to his girlfriend who is in the next room ten years ago i think for jerry its also nice to hold him because his parents never really did it which is sort of shown in the pilot where he holds himself when he's excited or nervous as a self soothing method and he feels like hes giving the love he never really received as a child See picture below

in his mind bill really could change. Because he really could change he just needed the right people around him. the resentment he feels towards bill fluctuates he resents him for everything that happened at comic-con he resents him for never treating him well when they were younger he resents him for waltzing into his house drenched in snot rain and tears and taking up space in what was supposed to be a place he could be comfortable and at peace in

billjer i wanted to compare it to ralf könig's "swiss bliss" but bills friends aren't nearly as tolerant of gays as the guys friends who tell him he isnt gay and he's not like that and they dont believe it theyd straigjt up just exile him i think it's more like "maybe ... maybe not" again by ralf könig picture attached below jerry would never make a move first i think bills vulnerable situation and lack of human contact and sort of praise and appreciation he has for jerry for housing him would sort of bring him to do it i think if they ever got to kiss or make out like this styleit would be during a heated argument or while they're drunk they wouldnt be able to stop thems3lves but if it ever escalates i think jerry could easily let bill go and let him slam his head against something and just go into another room and start pacing fucking freaking out see picture below,

if anyone wants to jump me for shipping bill and mandi its3now or never SCREAM ID YOU LOVE BILL AND MANDI

although i asked dorkin and he already told me it isnt true i still want to explore mandi being the same girl that walked into joe's comic book store in "this monster, this fan" because of the character dynamics i could explore and thoughts and interpretations i dont givea fuck im schizoposting about bill blowing jerry im basically doing whatever i wajt with the already existing comic thog dont care i think they both remember the day really clearly but since bill is so so focused on jerry he barely even glances at her because she was basically violated by like. what 15 men in a comic book store including grown men taking a picture of her like thats vile bill doesnt want to think about it he doesn't want to confront her or say anything ever because the humiliation of already being in someone else's house eating their food taking up space is too much

see earlier mention of crumb

the way crumb depicts women as something divine unachievable incomprehensible and as sex objects and puts them in the strangest most violent situations where is definitely something i see bill in especially in the epilogue where he and the rest just start babbling about how the female cosplayers are too ugly fat or arent white and dont fit their standards the way they're always depicted reading smut pornography or just looking at pinups of women (sometimes in violent situations as well) and the interaction he had at joe's all formed and turned his mindset into something utterly vile negative and disgustifn

see previous mention of bukowski

in this book the narrator is always pointing out faults in women i definitely see him as bill in the sense of being so negative hateful and even when in love he still manages to criticize his potential lover it could be bill and mandi but their relationship is much more complex to me since neither of them actually love eqchpther they just carnally need one another the way he's just really pathetic drunk and all just reminds me of bill as well mandi hates bill for being a man she's attracted to him because he's so fucking pathetic and gross it's exciting bill is attracted to mandi because she's a woman he detests her for being a stupid cunt who speaks her mind and is independent theyre both secretly having an affair one is slightly homoerotic the other one is just straight up abusive bill doesnt like to talk to anyone in the house he's extremely embarrassed and ashamed not only because he's in his friends house living there with his girlfriend who he hates but because he had the balls to reach out for help especially from a guy who beat the shit out of him last time they ever saw eachother mandi tries to talk it out but bill is so unbelievably childish he doesn't speak to anyone or do anything he's just silent i love them because they beat the shit out of eachofher and bill is a sexist pig and mandi is a woman they're all having an affair with eachother if any of them find out the other one is dating everything will go down genuinely but it wont since they're all too busyv hiding something from the other

i definitely think he would crash out on her but in the most like. formal way possible because he doesnt want to get kicked out and its shown he sort of knows when it's appropriate to shut up unlike josh who just starts geeking

+ jerry & mandi sketch im not finishing to get a glimpse into what i picture them both to be. healthy happy and everything good

[ihavethedreamies]

Kept Secret | Changbin [NSFW]

Seo Changbin - Stray Kids

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~4.6k

Pairing: Wonsanghwa! Changbin x Princess! AFAB! Reader

(A Wonsanghwa was essentially the guy who trained the Hwarang.)

Genre: Historical AU!, Pre-Joseon Era, Reader-Insert, Fluff, Smut, Some Plot, Friends-to-Lovers (ish)

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Pet Names (Princess [also her title]), Oral (F! Receiving), Fingering, First Times (Readers), Big Dick! Changbin, Cockbulge (slightly), Breeding Kink, Unprotected Sex (This is pre-birth control so…)

Summary: You are the youngest princess, and because of that you get the most freedom. The only thing your father refuses is to let you learn to fight. So, you get rid of the middleman and go straight to the Wonsanghwa.

Author's Note: Holy crap, I'm back! If you didn't read my pinned post, I basically took a hiatus to write my book, and...that didn't happen so I'm back owO

This one is not in the Joseon era, this is set much earlier, probably around the 9th century. I know most of what I do of the Hwarang based on The Great Queen Seondeok which is, from what I understand, at least somewhat more accurate than the show Hwarang.

P.S. At the bottom I will have a guide for all the untranslated words I use, including the clothing they wear and some other terms.

P.S.S. Also, if any of my historical information/words are inaccurate, I apologize, I did the best with what research I could and what I know from watching too many historical K-Dramas.

-> Series Hub <-

-> Bang Chan's <-

-> Lee Know's <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! Share, even if its to the other sites! Let me know if you want to be on the taglist!

Birds chirp in the trees, the leaves casting a shadow from the late morning light over your face. Your cheek is pressed to the wood of the table you’re sitting at in the palace pavilion with your sisters. Rocking the chair under you in boredom, you just sigh.

“What's the issue now?” Your sister next to you, Seoyoung, three years older, doesn't even look up from the scroll she’s writing on. Probably a letter to her husband.

“Probably the same issue as before.” The second youngest, Miseong, hums, popping another piece of fruit in her mouth, “children get bored so easy.”

“You're like a year and half older than me, be quiet.” You sit up straight so you can sneer directly at her. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear coyly, batting her eyelashes and you can’t help but huff in amusement.

“I don't see why you want to learn to fight.” The eldest of your sisters, Daeyoon shakes her head, picking through her tray of beads to find another for the piece she’s making.

“I don't see why you keep asking father.” Miseong scoffs. She has a point.

“Because father said no, neither Gaeyong nor Taseok will teach me.” Your brothers are too obedient for your own good. They never help you do anything fun.

“Then ask one of the hwarang, even just a nangdo.” Wonyoung finally speaks up. She’s the middle sister and sits in a weird place socially among the family. Your two eldest sisters get away with nothing, and you and Miseong get away with almost anything. It’s a toss-up what your mother or father will do if she gets in trouble. Especially because she rarely does. Since you’re the baby, you’re treated as such. Any misbehavior is brushed off as childish fun and you’re praised for minor things. You were a spoiled brat as a kid, and you know it. The one thing you want most is the one thing you’re held back from. Your father restricts you from learning to fight more for your protection than even you being a woman, which honestly pisses you off more.

“I don't know any of the nangdo. They're even stricter though because they get in trouble easier. I think the hwarangdo are too close with Taseok…”

“What about that younger guy that is the trainer? I think he's about Gaeyong's age.” Seoyoung speaks up, just wanting you to stop whining about learning to swordfight.

“Oh, yeah, he was so good he got promoted when the last Wonsanghwa retired and the senior sangseon got really mad!” Miseong nods, then grins evilly, “he's handsome too.”

“He's short.” Wonyoung adds and you honestly don't mind. You’re short too. She probably mentioned it because her fiancée is so tall. All of your sister's partners are, and of course you’re the only single one. But that’s beside the point, you want a trainer not a spouse.

“Can you try and help me meet with him?” You look at Daeyoon and she shoots you a withering look. Her husband is a gukseon, so he would be able to.

“Please! Pleasepleasepleaseplease-” You rub your hands together, ready to get on your knees to beg.

“Heavens! Fine!” She aggressively throws a silver bead back into her tray.

 ~ò3ó~

“W-wait, unni, don't leave me alone!” You hiss at Miseong as she begins to leave.

“I'm not getting in trouble with you!” She shoots back and then dashes away, leaving you alone in the courtyard of the hwarang housing, the moon shining high among the stars above your head. The dull, warm light of the lanterns seems eerie when out alone, even the normal peaceful cricket noises put you on edge.

“Gongjunim?” An unfamiliar voice catches your attention, and you flinch, spinning around to see the owner. Judging by what he’s wearing, he’s the Wonsanghwa. And…he is short. However, he’s very handsome as well. Plus, the fabric of his uniform seems to strain against the muscles of his chest and arms underneath. Your face suddenly feels warm, and you’re glad for the lowlight.

“U-uh…” you clear your throat, then stand straight like you’ve been taught all your life, “yes.” He bows deep at the waist, then comes closer so he’s standing before you. Just because he’s short for a man, doesn't mean he isn't still taller than you, nearly five chon.

“Gukseon Bodam told me you want to learn to fight?”

“Yes! I don’t care if it’s a sword, or even just a little dagger,” you motion with your index fingers, “or maybe a pong stick of something? A spear?”

“You could hurt yourself with something like that.” He hums, looking you up and down. You sneer at his derisive look, and he raises a brow. He scratches his forehead under the headband he has tied around his head.

“I…I could. That’s why I want to be taught.” You insist, trying to sound assured of your own statement. He turns his head away, seeing if anyone is around. He has his hair up in a full top knot unlike many of the hwarang who normally keep their hair half-down. It suits him though. When he looks back at you, he sighs.

“Fine. I’ll train you in martial arts, no weapons.” He turns around and motions for you to follow him toward what you presume is the actual training grounds.

“Is everyone asleep, Wonsanghwa?” You ask, walking next to him. It’s nice to just be beside someone since you’re so used to being followed by a handmaiden instead of her next to you.

“Should be. Don’t worry, even if we get caught, no one knows exactly who you are to snitch.” You finally arrive and he motions to a small shed at the back of the area.

“Go change, you'll ruin your dress, Gongjunim.”

“I see. I…what is your name?” You turn back to him after stepping toward where he pointed.

“Seo Changbin, Gongjunim.”

“Ah. Thank you, Changbin-ssi.” He nods and you scurry off to do what he said.

The clothing is a bit too large, but that’s understandable. You even decide to tie your hair up much like the hwarang do, with the headband and everything.

“I’m ready!” You smile at him, proud of yourself and he casts you an amused grin, then raises his brow.

“You ready?”

“Yes!”

 ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

“Keep your feet spread more, and put more force with your calf and shin, not your whole leg.” Changbin uses his ankle to press on yours and get you in the right stance. He’s been working with you for about three weeks, even managing to get you some training during the day instead of at night. You’re getting better to the point that he decides maybe, one day, you can try a practice sword.

Following his advice, you go to deliver another kick to the straw dummy he’s set up. You knock it over and he nods in approval. As he instructs, he’ll often maneuver you into the right pose or stance with his hands or feet. Sometimes, he’ll be close enough that his chest presses against your shoulder or back, and you have to fight back a blush. The longer you work with him, get to know him, you realize you’re falling…fast. He’s actually extremely sweet despite being a rather strict trainer. And he’s good too. Strong. You really want to see him underneath all those layers of his uniform…

“Eyes ahead, Gongjunim.” He snaps in front of your face; his smirk becomes clear when you zone back into reality.

“R-right!” As you go to demonstrate the next move, you ankle twinges and you yelp in pain, twisting wrong and falling onto your shoulder.

“Ow!” You land on a rock or something and when you sit up, there’s a tear in your borrowed clothing, a bit of blood staining the white fabric.

“Hey, let me see.” Changbin is immediately at your side, looking over the cut and you press your lips together, eyes flitting all over his face. You didn’t and still don’t believe him when he said he was a scrawny kid and teenager. Can’t really even picture it.

“I can help you clean this up, it’s not too deep.” He stand and when you go to follow him, your ankle screams, making you stumble. He catches you with his chest and you just want to press closer.

“Your ankle again?”

“Yeah.” You’ve been twisting it a lot and it seems more likely to happen the more often it does happen.

“May I?” You’d gotten more informal with each other, but you are still a princess. You nod and with great ease he lifts you into his arms to carry you to the clinic room of the hwarang housing. Changbin gently sets you down onto a chair inside and begins to tend to the cut.

“Um…so, you mentioned the other day your dad is trying to match you with a girl?”

“Yeah, but most of them haven't wanted to continue courting when they see my height.” He sniffs in dismissal, and you wrinkle your nose in annoyance.

“That’s ridiculous. You’re sweet, and funny, and handsome.” He looks up at you then and you force yourself to maintain eye contact with him. His crooked brow falls, and he smiles gently.

“I’m glad at least you see me that way.” You flinch when he dabs at the cut with a wet cloth. There’s some sort of herbal poultice he just adds water to and applies with a bandage to your cut. It stings a bit, then feels much better.

“Why did you really want to learn to fight?” Instead of brining you back outside, he leans against the wall, crossing his arms. You look at your lap, fiddling with your fingers.

“A year ago, my sisters and I got…well, mugged basically while we were in the market and when we tried to get our money back, I got punched and I…I couldn’t do anything to defend myself or my sisters I…hated it. Even to just learn something, to do anything…” It wasn’t the most terrifying experience since it was just some teenager that did it, but you hated feeling so helpless.

“Then we should stick with martial arts. You don’t need to be able to fight with a weapon for something like that.” He stands back up to lead you back out, but you bump into him when he stops right before the door. He turns to look at you softly, “I don’t want you to get hurt even if it’s just learning to fight. I don’t want to be the one who lets you get hurt.” His eyes flick to the cut he bandaged on your arm. Changbin then leaves the clinic, and you wait a few seconds to follow him, patting your cheeks that you know for sure are red.

~◕‿◕✿~

“Changbin?” You’d arrived at the hwarang compound of the palace at your designated time, but the Wonsanghwa isn’t there. Looking around to see if you can see even a trace of him…nothing.

“Gongjunim?” An unfamiliar voice calls out instead and you turn to look, panicked. From the uniform you can tell it’s another member of the hwarang, probably a nangdo. Luckily, you aren’t in your training uniform yet.

“Y-Yes?” You stand up straight, readopting your regal posture you had let relax.

“Can I help you?” he asks, stepping closer; his face is vaguely familiar.

“Oh. I-I'm looking for the Wonsanghwa.”

“Ah, he's not here now. He had to return to his father's home to meet with a family friend's daughter.” Daughter? A woman…

“Oh.” Your entire posture deflates, and you know why the information upsets you so much, but you are a bit ashamed showing it in front of the nangdo.

“Are you (Y/N)-gongju?” he asks, and you look up at him a bit, nodding.

“If you want to wait, I'm sure he'll be back soon. You know, he won't stop talking about you?” The younger man smiles, and your head shoots up to focus on him.

“Really?”

“Hm. I wouldn't worry too much, I'm sure he'll be back soon, just as single.” The nangdo smiles and leaves and you sigh. It’s too risky to wait out in the open, but you aren’t sure where to go to wait either without going back to where you are technically allowed. Heading back to the clinic where Changbin had tended to several little cuts and scrapes you tend to get; you sit at the same table to wait.

~

“(Y/N)?” You jerk away, lifting your head from your folded arms, then rub your eye. It’s dark out, only the faint light of torches from outside shining in the room.

“Huh?” The door opens then, and Changbin steps in, dressed in normal clothes rather than his hwarang wear.

“How long have you been here?” He huffs, setting he lantern down on the table, letting the stick it hangs from rest on the surface as well. He sits across from you and licks your lips nervously.

“Um…around shinshi…” You admit.

“Aigo, it’s been hours… Why did you wait for me?” He shakes his head in disbelief. He only looks a little different without his headband, but somehow, he’s even more handsome.

“Well, um, because-”

“Was it because I was meeting Lord Bak's daughter?” Your silence is telling enough.

“(Y/N),” you’d told him a while ago to just use your name when it’s just you two, “were you jealous?” Changbin smiles, not a smirk, he’s grinning like an idiot. Your silence is, once again, telling enough.

“(Y/N). Do you really think I’d even want to look at a woman who isn’t you?” His voice is gentle, but his giddy grin doesn’t change.

“H-huh?”

“When I got to my family’s, I told my father I didn’t want to court anyone. Well, not no one, only you. That’s why I was gone for so long, we had to get a bigger dowry put together. My father’s meeting with the king now.” He gets up, going around the table to you, and kneels on the floor so he can look up at you. Tears are already gathering in your eyes.

“I hope it wasn't too forward of me to assume you would say yes?”

“Of course, yes you handsome jerk! I was so worried you’d come back engaged to some other woman!” You nearly fall out of your chair when you hug him and he laughs, standing up and easily lifting you with him, spinning you around. 

~θωθ~

 “So, how does it feel to be a prince now?” Your fingers mess with goreum of his white marital jeogori. Changbin smiles.

“It feels better to be your husband.” You nearly whimper, resting your head on his shoulder and he chuckles. You thought he was sweet before, but you’re pretty sure you’ll never want sweets again.

“I love you, so much.” He hugs you, strong arms feeling so comfy around you. Stepping back, your eyes flit over his face and down to where the fabric of his top stretches over his chest. Your fingers go back to the tie, and you pull on it, watching the knot loosen. Biting your lip, he watches with a cocky smirk as you grip the sides of his shirt and pulls them open.

“Oh.” You sigh and he can’t help but grin, looking away and clearing his throat to hide his giggle.

“Every other woman is a fool.” You declare, gently resting your hands on his bare chest. As soon as your skin touches his, you whine, pressing harder, feeling the muscle under his skin. Changbin smiles like an idiot, loving how enthralled you are with him.

“C-can I…?” You have a hard time working up the courage to ask the full question.

“Do whatever you wish, (Y/N)” He kisses your forehead and then his eyes widen, not expecting your next actions. You lean forward, kissing his collarbone, then whimper. You fall to your knees and lick a strip from just above his belly button to as high as you can, right at the base of his sternum. He shivers softly at your actions, fingers weaving into your hair.

“What…are you doing?” He huffs a laugh, bemused and slightly in awe.

“Tasting~” You hum, kissing over his abs, then licking his stomach again. You’ve never acted so boldly before, but he isn’t complaining at all.

“Hm, sounds like fun~” He grins and what he does next makes you squeak. He easily picks you up, nearly slinging you over his shoulder like a sack, carrying you to your bed. You let out a puff of hair when he quite literally drops you onto the bed and he starts to untie the fasten of your sokchima. He gets frustrated quickly with the knot however and just tears it at the seam and yanks it off of you. As he tugs it off, the action flips you over onto your stomach and you barely have time to react before you feel his hands on your hips, his hot breath right against your cunt.

“C-Changbin?” Your breath then leaves you when he swipes his tongue up through your folds, the sudden intense pleasure instantly makes you dizzy. You had never even so much as touched yourself with your fingers, the lack of attention making you extremely sensitive.

“Fuck, you taste so good, princess~” He groans, thumbs spreading your pussy open and he licks up from your clit to your entrance, then shoves his tongue in as deep as he can. All you can get out are gasps, as soon as you can get your breath back, he takes it away again.

“C-Changbin-! S-something feels- weird-“ You heave out and he can feel your gummy walls pulsing around his tongue. The strange sensation kind of scares you, almost feeling like you need to relieve yourself, but feels so much better.

“You’re gonna cum, princess, my princess~” He practically giggles, then sucks at your clit and you nearly scream as your climax hits you. Your fingers dig into the bedding, knuckles going white as your vision does. Your pulse races in your ears and the first thing you can hear when the waves finally die are Changbin’s near-giggles and your heaving breaths.

“Did that feel good, princess~?” He leans over you where you’re still face down on the bed, nearly fully laying on top of you. You whimper when you feel his fully hard cock press against you through his pants.

“T-thought I died…” You huff, then giggle softly when he laughs.

“You taste so fucking good~” He whispers in your ear, and you whimper.

“Please, Changbin…I wanna taste you too.”

“No you don’t-

“What, why not?!” He gets off of you so you can roll over to glare at him.

“I promise I won’t taste nearly as good as you do.”

“How do you know-“ He cuts you off by gently cupping your jaw in his hand, thumb running over your cheek.

“Maybe one day, love, but right now, I need to fully claim you.” His voice lowers to a rough timbre, and you shiver at it.

“Get to the head of the bed.” He tells you and you scooch back to do so, watching intently as his fingers go to the tie of his sokbaji and the white fabric pools at his feet. You’ve never really seen a guy naked, the one time you kinda did, he wasn’t even hard, but…

“That…will it even fit?” You gawk at him, not in horror or disgust, but with genuine awe.

“We’ll make it work~” He smirk smugly, crawling on the bed over you. You huff when he pushes you to lay down then his strong hands go to your thighs, and he leads you to wrap your legs around his waist. You gasp a soft moan as he grinds his cock over your slick folds, a shine transferring to the skin of his cock, and when it slides over your clit, your hips twitch.

“That feel good, princess?”

“Yes~” He slides his cock over you a few more times, then drops your legs, pumping his hand over his cock, enjoying the glide your wet allows.

“Let’s get you ready for me…” He leans down, sealing his lips against yours and you sigh, letting his tongue into your mouth easily. You moan into the kiss when his fingers slide through your folds, then he slowly sinks two of his fingers into you. It stings, but not so bad it hurts, just feels odd. As he slowly moves his fingers, he presses up against your back wall and all of the slight discomfort disappears, replaced with a wave of pleasure.

“A-ah-!” He pulls back from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips still and he adds a third finger. His hooded, dark gaze skates all over your face and body, watching your breasts heave with your breath as he fucks you open with his fingers.

“Wait-!” Your back arches, hands flying to grip at his shoulders, blunt nails digging in as his thumb flicks at your clit, the already intense pleasure spiking and you cum again. Changbin chuckles as he feels your tight gummy walls spasm around his fingers, and he helps you ride it out. He finally pulls his hand away from you once you’ve calmed, breath still a bit heavy. You watch with hazy eyes as he brings his wet fingers to hit mouth and obscenely sucks your essence off, groaning as he does it. With his still slick fingers, more from his saliva, he pumps his cock again and lifts your leg with his other hand and brings the head of his dick to your dripping core.

“Changbin~!” You whimper, hands reaching for him. He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. As he starts to sink his fat cock into you, he lifts your other leg, and you once again wrap them around his waist. He goes slow, the searing heat stinging. He coaches you to breathe through it, and you wince a few times as he gets deeper.

“I-I don’t- I-I can’t-“ You pant out and he shushes you, laying gentle kisses over your face, his thumb going back to your clit. The pleasure of his finger working you eases the pain of him carving into you and you keep breathing. He knows he’s bigger than most, and when he finally bottoms out, he swears he can see a slight bulge in your lower stomach, outlining where his dick sits inside.

“Fuck, that’s hot…” He lets out a breathy chuckle. He feels your nails in his skin ease up and you move to wrap your arms around his neck, leaving behind crescents in his skin, but he by no means minds.

“You’re doing so good for me, (Y/N). You’re taking me so well, love, don’t worry, it’ll feel good soon.” Changbin whispers sweet things to you as your body gets used to him, he uses that as a way to distract him from the hot vice of your core. He’s holding back so much so he doesn’t just plow into you, he doesn’t want- he can’t hurt you. It pains him to see you even a bit uncomfortable, but it’s worse that he’s the cause of it, but he assures you it’ll be worth it.

“Y-you can…move…” You whimper, hips twitching, and only a very slight burn is still present.

“I’ll go slow, my love.” He kisses your cheek, his hand grabbing yours and as he leans down over you, his fingers weave through yours, holding your hands up by your head. You tighten your legs around him and he pulls out slowly, only an inch or two, and it feels like he’s sucking all of your air out of you. Your head swims, but the sharp burn only heats your body further. As he sinks back in, he grinds down into you, your clit brushing against his groin and you let out a sharp whiny moan, fingers in his tightening.

“Does that hurt?”

“N-no-! P-please, keep going~” You whimper, and he smirks, knowing your start to feel good as well. He slowly pulls out again, only a bit further, then sinks back in again, your pussy sucking him in letting out an obscene wet noise.

“You’re so wet~” He chuckles, pressing his forehead against yours, nuzzling. You giggle breathily, then wheeze out another moan as he keeps moving, pace still slow. You appreciate him making sure you’re ready and used to him, but the pleasure is taking over fast, and you need more.

“Changbin, please, more~” You mewl, and his hands tighten their grip on yours.

“I don’t want to hurt-“

“You’re not, you’re not I swear, please, need more-!” You nearly squeal when he picks up the pace, rapidly building. You’re moaning loudly now, not able to hold back, and the wood frame raising the bed up starts to creak. His breathing is heavy over you and he’s grunting with each thrust, the fat head of his cock battering against your cervix over and over. Your cunt is so tight and hot around him, he’s starting to lose control, wanting to fuck you stupid. He originally wanted to make love to you, sweetly, but your tiny squeaks and fucked-out expression is tainting his thoughts. Something about your delirium and whimpers makes him want to ruin you.

Changbin’s fingers weaved through yours leave, and he instead wraps them around your wrists and pins your hands up over your head. He holds them there with one hand, the other going to your left thigh, and you gasp when he moves to hook your knee over his elbow, shifting the position so his cock somehow buries further into you, the fat head pounding your sweet spot.

“A-AH-!” Your entire body jerks and twitches, cunt spasming around him as you cum again, slick spurting out from you and he laughs.

“Fuck, you’re just beautiful (Y/N), so fucking perfect for me~” He lets your wrists go, but you leave them over your head, mind foggy as you let out little whimpers with each of his thrusts. He hooks your other leg over his arm, leaning over you, nearly folding you in half and starts to thrust hard and shallow. You’re air leaves you at the angle change and his hips stutter as your cunt clenches him tight.

“Gonna fuck you full, (Y/N). Gonna breed you, fuck a baby into you~ You want that, yeah~? Wanna have my cum, have my baby~?

“Yes~! Yes~ please, ah-!” Your cunt spasms again and he can’t hold back anymore, getting as deep as he can and pumps your womb full of his cum and the rapid heat searing into you sends you over the edge as well.

As you both come down from your highs, he catches his breath faster than you do. He looks down at you with a soft smile, your eyes closed as your chest heaves, body limp on the bed under him. You hum softly when he leans down and kisses you, then hugs you when he pulls back, rolling over so you’re laying on top of him, his softening cock still sitting inside you. You feel yourself already starting to fall asleep as he rubs your back, kissing the top of your head.

“You were loud, love~” He huffs a laugh, and you hum sleepily.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He asks softly and you hum again.

“I wanted to be gentle, but…”

“But?”

“I’ve wanted you since the day we met…so I couldn’t hold back anymore.”

“Can I tell you a secret too?”

“Of course, love~”

“I’ve wanted you that long too.”

hwarang - a group of young noblemen that became somewhat like educated knights in the royal palace from around the 6th century to the 11th. hwarangdo - leaders of groups of nangdo. nangdo - lowest members of the hwarang hierarchy and would form groups led by the hwarangdo. Wonsanghwa - the first officer of the hwarang who is in charge of training in martial arts and combat. sangseon - training offices of the hwarang. gukseon - a chief officer of the hwarang. unni - older sister to a girl. Gongjunim - formal address for a princess. gongju - princess honorific. chon - historical unit of measurement, close to an inch. pong - also known as a bo stick used in martial arts, typically made of wood. shinshi - designation for the ancient Korean hours of the Monkey which is about 3-5 pm. aigo - kind of like an exclamation like "sheesh" or "geez", still used in modern times. goreum - the ties that fasten the top of a hanbok. jeogori - the top/shirt part of a hanbok. sokchima - basically a dress/skirt like under-garment. sokbaji - pants-like under-garment, mostly worn by women actually…

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[artsninspo]

COUNTERFEIT - two

⇽ part one

➨ rio's library - good girl nbc

「 ✦ full library & archive ✦ 」

🍒 pairing: Rio (Good Girls) X Faith (Original Character) All my characters are black women.

🍒 word count: ~1.6K

🍒 summary: Faith faces the blowback from her decision to end things with her now ex-boyfriend. Conflict stirs between her and her sister. Rio's curiosity grows and he finds himself not able to stay away before getting to know about Faith.

🍒 two ~ life traps

“Where’d you go last night?” Char asks as she comes in from the gym.

“To have a one night stand” I respond being facetious.

“Faith, Jason is the kind of man women pray for” Char starts.

“I don’t want to hear it” I groan, needing some peace.

“Why not, he’s romantic, attentive, emotionally stable and makes good money?” Char continues.

“And he’s boring, closed minded and pacifistic” I add.

“Life isn’t all about excitement!” Char shouts.

“I think you’re mistaking life with death” I retorted, earning a grimace from my sister.

“He wanted to marry you!” She snaps. “He asked mom and she gave him her blessing, he was planning a party and everything! Your ring is gorgeous!” she says like it’s the thing that makes me stay but I couldn't be more relieved.

“If he knew me even a little he’d know I don’t want a public engagement” I respond.

Char huffs in exasperation “Anyone who’s in love does!”

“Well then, there you have it!” I sigh, reinforcing the obvious.

“Faith.” she fusses.

“He’s a great guy just not for me. Now he can return the ring and find someone who’s grateful and appreciative of the perfect man he is.” I fake a smile.

Char sighs, folding her arms in frustration. “You’re being unreasonable and taking the ungrateful thing out of context.”

“He’s not the man I want to wake up with forever or who I want to raise my children” I explain speaking in terms she can understand.

“Because you have commitment issues!” She snaps.

“You don’t? Where’s your Prince Charming?” I ask and she goes ridgid. Her eyes bug out and I realize I’ve gone too far.

“Char” I call but she storms off to her room.

———

Char hasn’t been speaking to me all week. She’s hardly been coming home. I feel bad but there’s not much I can do if she won’t talk to me.

Big game? I could use some back up.

- D

I smile at the phone and D’s perfect timing. I get dressed and go where I’m wanted. I drive to the bar and park out back. I can hear from out here the place is packed and head in. D doesn’t look as happy and he usually is to see me. I hug and kiss him and he makes me my favorite drink with a smile. I get started and make things easier for him. I work the bar until there’s a lull and I can enjoy my cherries. Diego smiles at me.

“I’m glad you texted, Char and I are fighting and it’s all bad at my place”  I tell him.

“What about?” D, asks.

“Breaking things off with Jason” I explain and his cousin walks in. “Am I okay to be here?” I whisper, putting my cup of cherries down.

“Yeah,” Diego nods. His side of the bar fills up and he steps away to tend them. His cousin sits on my side. I head over to him.

“Whisky neat” he says before I can ask. I head to the top shelf pouring him what he asked for. I place it down on top of a napkin and I’m shocked when he pays. Doesn’t he own the place?

“Thanks” I smile, putting the money away. I work my side of the bar finding time passes and the game ends, music replaces the previous entertainment. When things settle I go back to D and my cherries. We joke around with some of the patrons doing shots and keeping them in their pockets. There are no fights tonight which is a win and when the night’s over I’ve made twice as much in tips as I did the other day. I’m cleaning off the bar when Diego’s cousin comes in from outside.

I continue cleaning up and Diego mops this time. Security takes all the dirty glasses to be washed and I make sure the register balances. We have at least fifteen empty bottles and I pack them away making space on the shelf.

“Where else do you work?” He asks from behind me.

“I’m not a bartender,” I respond.

“You know your way around a bar.” Diego’s cousin remarks.

“Diego taught me” I explain and he smiles nodding. His dark eyes miss nothing, it’s like he can smell my uncertainty and is amused by it.

“So what are you?” He asks again.

“I work in interior designing,” I explain, omitting my shinier accolades.

“Pays well?” He asks. It's a strange question. If he were anyone else I'd roll my eyes and walk away. One thing my Ma is right about is that a woman's pocketbook is none of mens business unless he’s adding to it.

“I’m not complaining,” I respond. The answer doesn't seem sufficient as he looks down trying to read me. We both give each other nothing. “You into nature?” I ask stacking glasses and his brow raises. I’ve thrown him off.

“Nature? Outdoors?” He asks and I steel my expression in genuine curiosity as I motion to his neck where the bird is permanently inked into his skin. He looks affronted, so much so my facade breaks. A smirk plays on his lips and he nods.

“I was just messing with you. D’s my friend, he loves this place and I’m here to help him out - not cause trouble” I tell him and he looks me over again - his energy less distant.

“You’re a woman, this is a guys bar and I’m a businessman. Women mean trouble. More security, more fights and more egos. It’s not personal, don't help him every weekend and don’t use your real name. You getting stalked or followed isn’t my problem and D’s not built for it. He’s crazy about you. Told me I need to apologize for the other day” he says completely relaxed. His expression is back to giving nothing away as he speaks matter of factly. 

“Gotcha, and It’s fine, you don’t seem like you apologize much” I tell him and he nods, holding back another smile.

“Is everything alright?” Diego asks with an uneasiness that makes me reconsider the ease I feel next to his cousin.

“You don’t bring women around often, I’m just curious” his cousin says and I sense tension between them. 

“I’ll do the rest Faith, let me walk you to your car” he says protectively and I look between them a moment before getting my jacket.

“Thanks” I tell Diego who is standing ramrod straight and tense, in juxtaposition to his cousin who looks both relaxed and amused. He empties my tips into a paper bag.

“Goodbye Faith” his cousin waves.

“Bye,” I respond.

“What’s wrong?” I ask Diego once we’re outside.

“Rio” he sighs. “I wish I could just strangle him sometimes,” he snaps.

“Rio is your cousin’s name?” I ask and he nods.

“Nickname, his name is Chris but don't call him that.” D warns.

“What's going on between the two of you, does he think you're into me or something and how does he own the bar? I thought it was yours?” I ask and D takes a deep breath before letting one out.

“He doesn’t think I'm into you, he knows I’m gay. He’s part owner, not full owner although he thinks he’s the boss of everything ” D sighs.

“I’ve never known you to huff and puff instead of knocking someone clean out” I comment looking outside as Rio strolls cooly into a G-Wagon.

“Rio doesnt get mad, he gets even, he can be spiteful and petty and he’s patient. You’ll never know you’ve fucked up until you’re wading through shit. Be polite and keep things short with him” Diego says, giving his cousin a less than glowing review.

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth as the G-Wagon pulls out driving into the night. D follows suit and silence befalls the car until he presses me for information on Char and I. When I tell him the full extent of everything the look in his eyes tells me while he’s on my side. Diego agrees with my sister in regard to my commitment issues. Unlike Char, D understands why I don't want to run from where we came from. Why I’m in no rush to commit to a life of pageantry or rush into an engagement at 24. He calls it survivor's remorse which is kinder than the assessments given to me by my shrinks. A life with Jason would be a lie. I’d have to pretend my step-dad is my father. Not my real father who’s no longer on this earth. The result of a life selling street pharma and the violence that comes with it. I’d have to hide that part of my story and heritage and even do away with D as a part of my past. Jason and his family would see it as a character defect instead of character building. It would be bad PR and so it would be filed away in a safe and kept away for comfort and convenience. No one understands not wanting to hide yourself from people like D.

He watches me sitting shotgun as the sun dawns.

“Be gentle with Char, she's a marshmallow - all soft. You’re a jellybean.” He smiles and I lean on his shoulder. He presses a kiss onto my forehead. “You know ChaCha means no harm, she doesn't like to rock the boat or disappoint anyone.” Diego speaks knowing us well.

“I was gentle, we didn't have a screaming match” I smile but his phone ringing gets my attention. Rio’s name flashes on the car’s console shifting the mood.

“I gotta take this, text me when you get in” D says and I nod.

“D, if you need money-”

“I don't, I'm the oldest. You need money you come to me” he asserts and I nod exiting the car. I hear the call pick up when I grab the lobby door. I place my fob on the console and the automatic door opens.

Mercury must be in gatorade because I don’t know what the fuck is going on.

authors note: thanks for reading, what do we think D's deal is with Rio and the girls? Why is Rio in our girls business? don't forget to ❣ Like, ❝ Comment, ↺ Reblog & vote on open polls

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[nitro-nova]

So, as we've learned, my prediction turned out to be correct. Brickshelf is currently slated to close down in March.

While this is an unfortunate but understandable turn of events, I do want to note a few things:

The Bio-Media team confirmed that they obtained a backup of all the publicly available data on the site. If all else fails, an archive will be made available.

I noticed a few replies seemed alarmed about the news. Rest assured, I have checked out BZPower and a couple of other Bionicle communities, and there are serious ongoing efforts by fans to purchase the site. There are likely AFOLs who are making serious inquiries, as well.

Just in case the website goes down, I made a recreation of Brickshelf's home page here. It preserves the original look and feel while using more modern web design techniques.

I highly recommend following @bionicle-sprite-comics. This blog is actively collecting sprite comics and animations while the site is still up, and has posted queued every day for the next two months, and at least one post queued for every month and some holidays. For the rest of 2025.

Hey, so I kinda want to talk about Brickshelf.

For context, Brickshelf is an old website, I'm talking 1998, that early fans of Lego (including Bionicle) used to host images, specifically for their creations. A ton of fanart is on this website, too.

In late June, it was reported by a journalist that the founder of this website, Kevin Loch, passed away last year (additional Facebook source). I am not clear who is running the website at this point.

According to LUGNET, Kevin's estate is currently paying to keep Brickshelf online. I don't know how much time we have, but my estimate is two months, because one of his websites (https://bsrender.io/) has a public notice that it will be disabled this March.

Brickshelf is host to 4,942,783 image files organized into 431,130 folders. That's a lot of early Internet history potentially being lost.

If you individually want to preserve your files, there is a python script for downloading a user's files here.

Is anyone here interested in helping archive this website? I'd like to make an archive, I just have no prior experience. Thank you.

Edit: The Bio-Media team sent me a reply that they're one of the groups who are willing to volunteer to help with archiving. More info in reblogs.

[mylittleredgirl]

look. look. there was a livejournal comment ficlet i wrote once for stargate atlantis. i couldn't find it when i first made a fic index on livejournal in 2011. looked again when i started archiving on ao3. searched again every time i remembered that i still have a livejournal. i'm telling you this thing stuck in my memory banks for no reason except that i could SEE IT i KNEW it was in my journal and not someone else's and i could. not. find it. it's like 500 words of angst and i remembered it being even shorter, like it was not worth all of this!!! but it was symbolic white whale of all the long-lost livejournal comment ficlets.

and today i decided to organize my browser bookmarks for the first time in living memory and it was in there the entire time.

(ao3 link below, but in the spirit of ephemeral livejournal comment ficlets it's also below the readmore)

--

Brother

(579 words, gen, angst, elizabeth weir lives)

Ford hesitates before saying, "I found something you might want."

--

They don't bring Aiden Ford home. He brings himself back after almost six years. When he looks Sheppard in the eye, John thinks the man might throw a punch. And he is a man, not a kid anymore. His face is scarred. He's been clean two years. He knew the location of Atlantis almost all that time – It's not as well-hidden as you think – but it took this long to choose to come home. He lets Beckett – the new Beckett – examine him. He tells Woolsey and Sheppard where he was, what he did, helping a few different worlds, militia to militia.

Sheppard can't feel a thing – relief, guilt, confusion, nothing. He hasn't felt much in a while, going through the years by going through the motions. Even with that, he's aware that this is extreme. Normally, he can at least feel anger. This man was his second-in-command, his enthusiastic right hand, his responsibility. He didn't come home, not even when he could. Not even, he learns, when Ford saw them on a planet, Sheppard and McKay joking around, Teyla and Ronon walking the perimeter. Teyla presses her forehead to Ford's. He lets her. It doesn't soften the glare on his face. "Why now?" John finally asks. Ford hesitates before saying, "I found something you might want." He found Elizabeth. At first, Ford only lets Beckett see her, and only on the planet where he's holed up in a Wraith-damaged village where they treat him like one of their own. Teyla pieces together the story. Ford found out about her, bribed and threatened his way across the galaxy for information. Rescued her, with these natives and their antiquated weapons. Brought her here. "He must not have known that she's dangerous," McKay assumes aloud. The enemy is inside her and can't be taken out. John shakes his head. Ford was at the SGC when the human-form replicators first appeared on the scene – different than the Asurans, but the same. Ford knew, and he did it anyway. Ford won't let them in the hut without handing over their weapons. "We're not going to hurt her," John snaps, insulted at the implication, but if that were a guarantee, it would be easy to disarm. She's dangerous. Beckett says she's unconscious – malnourished, close to organ failure, mental effects unknown, but the replicators inside her aren't actively replicating. Ford fed her the same Wraith toxin that nearly killed him, and her drug-bolstered immune system and the replicators fought each other to a stalemate. She'll suffer withdrawal, according to Beckett, just like Ford did. That sounds like the least of her problems. "She's my responsibility now," Ford insists. McKay obviously winces. John doesn't. "You need our help to cure her," John points out. "Beckett's help." Beckett, who still isn't the same. Ford, whose motivations are foreign, and who wants them unarmed on his terms. Elizabeth, who might still die. "But if you want to see her, no weapons." Without waiting for John's okay, Teyla hands over her gun and says, soothing, "You can trust us. And I trust you." John grudgingly hands over his weapons, one by one. He goes to follow Teyla into the hut when Ford's hand clamps around his arm. "I left," he says, low and dangerous and full of old betrayal. "I get that. No matter what happened to me. But this was Doctor Weir. And you left her." Right then, inconveniently, two steps from seeing her, John starts to feel again.

[boobsoutforbeeduo]

Fanart for @shadowthehedgehcg 's AMAZINg fanfic!!! This scene genuinely made me giggle so much when I read it, even though its just a doodle I knew I had to draw it XD

Link to the fic below the cut, along with some small notes abt the drawing!! Pls guys go read it, I couldn't recommend a book more <3

Notes:

I wasn't sure exactly what Daisy looked like / couldn't remember (im bad with fine details TwT) but I remember (I think) that she was black! So I just made her look pretty similar to my irl kitty!

I contemplated wether to give shadow socks or his shoes, in the end I went with his shoes bc I don't think there was anything stating that he wasn't wearing them? Again could be wrong, I have the memory of a goldfish, but still X3 (same thing with clothes, usually I draw Shadow all decked out but I decided to go closer to his canon look for this drawing!)

Also, not really notes but little things I wanted to say for funsies :3c

Since Shadow has been eeping for 50 years I don't think he would have known how to use a mixer? At least nothing at all similar to modern day mixers. Which is why this bit made me laugh so much, the first time I ever used my mixer (having previously only used handheld ones my entire life) I didn't realize I should start it slow, put it on full blast, and got flour EVERYWHERE lmao. I feel u Shadow

I have NO IDEA how both shadow and daisy have their eyes wide open after being blasted with flour, but good for them I suppose XD they got them strong corneas lmaoo

Yeah anyways enough yapping, tysm author for makin this amazing book, can't wait for part 2!!

[cappurrccino]

[kicking my feet up like a schoolgirl, daydreaming about working at NASA]

[radical-remster]

Deadass I had to look through my archives to see what I wrote last and to no surprise at all I was writing a DMC fanfic 😭💀 anyways here it is, it’s unedited;

He should be angry, but he isn’t.

Nero couldn’t comprehend why out of all the things he could get mad over this feels more like an afterthought.

Maybe, it was because he never needed someone like his dad growing up because he always had Kyrie and Credo to look out for him.

Maybe, it was because he was used to the hole in his heart that longed to know what was missing in his life.

Or maybe, there was something wrong with him.

Two months have passed since Dante and Vergil left to the demon realm to keep the gates closed; two months have passed since he found out he had two living relatives, and two months have since passed since they both disappeared.

They were gone, and they left Nero with the heavy-duty job of protecting the human realm in their stead. Nero had not been given the time to process anything, there had quite literally been a one hour gap from when he found out who his father was to him having to say goodbye to him only moments later. At least with them gone it gave Nero time to think but that seemed to be the only thing he did nowadays, even with hunting jobs he took his thinking cost him and served as a deadly distraction. See, Nero wasn’t sure how to feel because on one hand he now knew some of the answers to the questions he’d been asking his whole life: who was he? Who cursed him to have been born with an arm like his? On the other hand, he didn’t care and that’s what bothered him. Why the hell didn’t he care more about this? Nero never had a grieving period to really mourn over the fact that he was probably never going to see Dante or his dad ever again.

So, what was the problem? He barely knew both men before everything went to shit on June 15th, his relationship with Dante was already distant considering after the attack on Fortuna all he really did was occasionally shadow over Nero to see how he was doing. He didn’t stick around long and he mostly appeared at the most random of times, he’d emerge from whatever corner he was hiding in to watch over Nero and act as if they’d been friends forever.

‘Hey kid, miss me? Hah - didn’t think so. You still have that sword from way back when? Yeah, that’s the one, I hope you’ve been taking care of it or else I’m gonna be taking it back for real this time.’

Last Sentence WIP Game

Tagged by @ilonga

You all know the drill by now: post the last line you wrote (from any WIP) and tag the same number of people as there are words.

Anakin stayed right where he was, forcing himself to breathe.

@jasontoddiefor @alabasterswriting @ghostwriterofthemachine @scandalsavagefanfic @daemoninwhiteround2 @thenafics @garpie64 @rose-blooms-red @atasteforsuicidal @sonderwalker

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

[theinsomniacindian]

Indian Chaotic Academia

Wanting to wear jumpers and hoodies but changing your mind after looking at the daily temperature

Scoring 97% in English in your board exams but your spoken English makes you sound like you've never studied it in your life

Messy yet (somewhat) intelligible handwriting

A weak spot for old Bollywood songs regardless of your personal taste in music

Chipped nail polish and lots of bracelets

Wanting to study in a park or a cafe but you can't as they're too loud and busy

Adrak chaha is the solution to everything

Muting the class WhatsApp group so you can read angsty fanfiction at 3 a.m. without alerting your parents

Vada pav and samosa>>>>

Buying several highlighters but still end up using blunt pencils to mark important study material

At some point, a B is the best grade you'll ever find in your report card

Reading the Mahabharata at the back of the class in the same way you would read a modern novel ("Nooo, why did he have to die 😭")

Coming up with ideas for study charts but never actually making them

Getting a lot of holidays and vacations thanks to the amount of festivals celebrated throughout the year

"Sir that's my emotional support gel pen brand that I've been using since fifth grade"

The poem you have to learn in your regional language class is actually your favourite childhood song

Rickshaw rides are better than any other mode of transport, change my mind (you can't)

Getting the 'Slytherin house' that always comes last in every school event

Only buying books from the second-hand book stalls because they have all the good ones

Waking up at 4 a.m. for last minute revision and getting disturbed every five minutes by trucks blasting out entire songs through their horns

[columboposting]

genuinely insane to me that Torchwood gave Jack a secret evil brother and somehow he is the least interesting character in the entire goddamn show. No character traits allowed. His one outfit is BEIGE??? What if Hayden Christensen like, actually couldn’t act. Sucking black hole of charisma. Jack having a fucking secret evil brother should be the campiest wildest shit imaginable and instead its like watching fucking paint dry. Unreal. (It does not help that John Hart is standing next to him the entire time serving cunt). How did they fuck that one up that badly.

[yandins-beleagured-historian]

OKAY SO,

because the Iron Fists are a (semi) homebrew chapter and therefore by definition a whole CHAPTER of OCs, let's limit the scale of this to five particularly prominent members of the chapter.

Cosrau Yandin

One-time sergeant of the sixth squad (tactical), Second Company, now captain of the Seventh, this boy is our PoV character. He's a lovable little control freak who's read everything in the Chapter's tactical, technical and historical archives because no-one told him not to. As an initiate, his mentor imbued him with a particularly noble view of how a company is supposed to work and what the relationships between ranks are supposed to look like. Cosrau is perpetually disappointed and frustrated by those that don’t honour that picture, least of all himself. He's currently trying to speedrun the Astartes-equivalent of burnout and shake off the feeling that everything that happens to his subordinates is his fault. Career highlight - charging a Chaos Terminator lord with nothing but a combat knife and a meltagun, and not dying. Favourite question: “What do you need from me in order to do your job?”

Samas Tenebra

Cosrau's direct superior during his time in the Second, Captain Samas Tenebra is everything you'd want in a mythologised superior. He's a dyed-in-the-wool assault marine with a flair for the dramatic, an overdeveloped sense of vengeance, and a nothing-but-cheese approach to strategy. He's lead the Second to a number of successes over his seventy-year tenure, which can largely be attributed to two factors. One: he's cultivated a highly competent pool of subordinate leaders, and two: he keeps throwing himself at the highest value objective in the battlespace - often from several miles up. By the time of Cosrau's own captaincy, Samas Tenebra would be raised to First Captain, fail to save both his predecessor and his successor, and would die trying to fight a Chaos Titan as Imperial forces pull back across the Stygius sector. Cosrau's favourite Tenebra-Legend: That time he killed nine terminators atop Eidolon's ruined command bunker on the day the Indomitus Crusade arrived at Taralus. Tenebra's least favourite Tenebra-Legend: That time a Thousand Sons Sorceror prophesied his death, amongst other things Oh, the gates swing wide for Him, do they not? Varl hungers for your sixth, o shadow. Pray to your corpse-god for his sake that it is only the empyrean that comes to swallow him up!

Harcast

Oho, now here's the spooky lad. Sixth Captain Harcast is, on paper, somewhat of a kindred soul to Yandin. While records are hazy, it is known for sure that before his current posting, he was a Sternguard veteran of the ninth squad, First Company, and one of the most experienced kill-team operatives in the Chapter before his promotion. It was a sensible pick - the Sixth have been infiltration and recon specialists since the days of Haya Merojan, and it's rumoured that Harcast had an in with Captain Llameharr, the previous incumbent But even for a black ops afficionado, Harcast is...weird. A scant few, Yandin included, claim him to be good-humoured, level-headed and an excellent teacher, there are many in both the First and Sixth who swear dead-to-rights that they have never seen him out of his armour, or even heard him speak. This is probably fine and normal and has absolutely nothing to do with whatever the fuck the "Legan Schola Incident" was, of which Harcast is the only listed survivor in records so buried and so redacted that ++REMOVED FOR SENSITIVITY++ Favourite/only sentimental attachment: A bespoke bolt rifle of hiiighly questionable origins that, according to legend, was boring holes through skulls a full century before anyone had so much as heard the word 'Primaris.' Leads to interview for more information: Lieutenant Trimer (missing), Ascendant Trazis (asleep), Epistoliary Tyvus (I am not going anywhere near that, and I emphasise, Senile Terminator Psyker, stop trying to get me killed Hester.)

Kastal Verchen

That's CHAPTER MASTER Kastal Verchen, thank you very much. Fifty-Second Lord Commander of the Iron Fists, High Castellan of Taralus, The Arcan Herald, the Silent Hero of Blakkspanna's Bay, etcetera etcetera. Having said all that, as far as Chapter Masters go in general, Verchen is a touch underwhelming. His most glorious accomplishment is a tie between not getting killed by Eidolon and not getting killed by an avatar of Ynnead. But not dying is perhaps Verchen's greatest skill, and one that he's somehow managed to promulgate amongst his subordinates. Granted, there's been rough spots in his relatively short tenure as Chapter Master, but he's brought a mauled chapter of less than three hundred up to more than a thousand in twenty short years. Beneath the tempered, diplomatic pragmatism is a fierce compassion that's somehow escaped the attention of other Iron Hands successors. This comes as no surprise to those with access to Verchen's full history - before his induction into the Arcan Temple, he was the best Savant-Apothecary the Iron Fists had seen in millenia, and he manages the chapter like a patient, rather than an engine of war. Favourite metalore tidbit: Kastal Verchen is one of only two named characters in the breathlessly-few scraps of canon lore on the Iron Fists - he's referenced in passing in the Battlefleet Gothic Armada rulebook "To Cleanse the Stars" as backsassing the Imperial Navy about pirates interfering with the Dudzus landings.

Mokuba Tyros

Mokuba Goddamned Tyros. Also known as "the scariest bastard ever to wear the golden gauntlet", the fifty-first Lord Commander of the Iron Fists has been terrorizing the galaxy for the last seven hundred years. He was at the Feast of a Hundred Duels when the World Eaters attacked, and came back a century later to win the Feast of Blades for the Iron Fists. Tyros led the Fifth Company over the ocean world of Poseidius VIII and personally turned Waaagh! Izdakka away from the borders of Segmentum Solar. He conducted a thousand diplomatic missions to raise support for the reclamation of Taralus, and orchestrated the subsequent campaign down to the slightest detail. When the Noctis Aeternia rolled in, Tyros drew fire away from the chapter's more vulnerable ships and gave more than a million men and women the chance to reach the homeworld's service. And when three thousand unnumbered sons dropped into Taralus' atmosphere to liberate it for good, Mokuba Tyros was the iron point of the spear. Mokuba Tyros is less of a tangible character, more of a living standard for the chapter to aspire to. He is to the common marine what the Iron Hands are to the chapter at large, and so distanced from the line troops that he might as well be a legend, glimpsed only fleetingly at the grandest of events. Even a captain might only experience two or three one-on-one encounters with him during their career, and none have ever gotten a successful read on him. All they've been able to report on the man behind the blades is that "He has given much of himself to the Chapter" - whatever the heck that means.

There was only ever one man who truly knew Mokuba Tyros - a bodyguard of the Arcan Temple, spoken in whispers of as the best Savant-Apothecary the Iron Fists had seen in millenia.

Reblog and tell me about your Warhammer OCs!!!

(seriously, I see so many cool fanart and fanfiction, I want to learn about everyone!!)