#thesecretself

[williambenton]

THE SECRET SELF. Performed by William Benton, Rob Ross, Michael Grady, and Sean Gardner. Special appearance by #johnnydowd . Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Mike Bridavsky @russianrecording . Art/layout by Shane Wesley. CD/digital released on @sonablast . Vinyl release on CATATONIC/ @seidenfadens . Spotify link in bio. Thank you. #catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #louisville #brooklyn #queens #newyork #kentucky #howwelou #thesecretself #okie #oklahoma #moog #moogsynthesizer #fenderjazzmaster #indie #indierock #goth #gothrock #darkrock @leoweekly @do502 @yeslouisville @louisville.ky @louisvillemag (at sonaBLAST! Records)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B5KuxXMlHy7/?igshid=j3zdz4fyb7hg

[catcasually]

Kick Out the Footlights Tonight.

We began shooting a video for the second single, ‘Morose Code’, the other night and only lack another short evening of shooting to get everything that we need for that. It is the artier response to the first video for ‘Asphalt’, which was just a performance-based video. The song itself started in my apartment on Meeker Avenue in Brooklyn and that demo ended up being this sorta’ muddy backing track that we built upon in the studio when we did the record. I am very proud of it as it is one of those detours that occur on the album in terms of whatever comprehensive sound could have possibly been achieved- cos I did/always do my best to fight that. (The world doesn’t need any more white dudes in glasses doing “psyche” music.) It has all grown frightfully unremarkable and boring. And so few, truly, great songs have been achieved int he process. 

Anyways, the song and video collectively have a peculiar concept, being a phone call from a prior “self” to a past love. I have always envisioned this past-self occupying a purgatory state for eternity...one ofour ,any “selves” sentenced to the past and their own respective purgatories...and that that place looks like an old, dim bar. At least MY many stoaway-selfs reside in such places; a place for thought, reflection, regrets- if you allow for such things. (I am reminded of a book by a neuroscientist that I once read: all stories about “God”, even though this scientist was- for lack of a better word- an atheist. One story was about the problem that God would have with which “you” would be in heaven: the teenager? Well, they are annoying and would just try to fuck each other the whole time. A small child? They need a lot of attention and help. Older people are nostalgic for their younger selves and not much fun. Etc. So, God decides that a person will be divided into many, many “selves”, spanning from their newborn “self”, all the way to the person they were when he or she took his/her final breath...and once a year they would have a reunion. I will research later and see if I can find this book as it has been many years.)

So the conversation within the song is a call from a past love, who is a past self. He or she is a mess; a lonely alcoholic. The opposite party only hears from him/her under the hypnosis of drunkeness and/or heartbreak. And, per usual, I feel a little icky when all of this is too obvious so I have blurred the line between who is speaking and when. As it goes with songs, you never hit the bullseye in your head so something else materializes as the finished product. I did actuslly hear it as something between Sparklehorse and Roger Waters- so I got that much right.

-——————————————————————-

Tonight has been chores associated with band and DJ obligations. The coffee began to wear off and I went down a Merle Haggard rabbit-hole which led to some smiles, tears, and thoughts on songwriting. I am always so caught up in the stress and obligations of work, jobs, and the satelliting items to promote all the shit, that I feel like I only have the head to create at a 30%-45% potential. That is upsetting. But it’s the way that it is.

I hope that changes some day.

[williambenton]

#vinyl of #catcasualandthefinalword #LP #thesecretself is available for order on @bandcamp , includes digital download. You can also order directly through me here cos why the hell not? Also available at fine record stores all over Louisville. #howwelou #louisville #do502 #louisvillemusic #coronastaycation2020 (at Louisville, Kentucky) https://www.instagram.com/p/B92FNXVloAQ/?igshid=1ah6fbk9wxjsf

[williambenton]

Some shows here and elsewhere. We hope to see you in 2020. XOXO (PS: OKC should be set very soon.) #catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself @sonablast #louisville #louisvillemusic #howwelou #okie (at Columbia Theatre Louisville) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7UV-AhFlF6/?igshid=wbsrj6k24o9p

[williambenton]

Thank you, Take Effect Reviews, for the kind words. #catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself #takeeffectreviews #takeeffectreviews @sonablast @seidenfadens @catcasual #catatonic #louisville #howwelou #louisvillemusic @louisvillemusiculture (at Smoketown) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6q0Jktly_-/?igshid=w0k77i3g2b78

[williambenton]

Some 2020 things are cookin’. More to come. #catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself #louisville #howwelou @garbage_greek @futurekiller @magbarlouisville @sonablast @thingstolou @do502 @louisvillemag @yeslouisville (at Mag Bar) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6cauKpF0xY/?igshid=10d5lropivq3u

[williambenton]

I really dig this show and surely appreciate them playing us. Look jt up! Listen! 😽 #catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself #xrayfm #darkisthelight #songsfromunderthefloorboard #postpunk #synthwave #coldwave @xrayfm @sonablast @seidenfadens (at Seidenfaden's) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6A4VGrl5qT/?igshid=1n95e48q7klp

[williambenton]

I don’t get much satisfaction from reviews, good or bad, but I’ve followed SLUG for a long time- so this brightened my morning. Thank you for your kind words, Mary. @slugmag #catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself #slug #slugmagazine #louisville #saltlakecity #howwelou @do502 @leoweekly @sonablast @seidenfadens (at Smoketown) https://www.instagram.com/p/B55tadHlTOT/?igshid=1437qbsyn7sh0

[williambenton]

THE SECRET SELF #vinyl is now available in #Louisville at these great stores: @surface_noise_ky , @betterdaysrecords , @record_shop , and @guestroomrecordslouisville ! Includes digital downloads. Shop local, y’all. #catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself @sonablast @yeslouisville @louisville.ky @louisvillemag @groovyghoulmag #recordstore #recordstores #smallbusinesssaturday https://www.instagram.com/p/B5dhSeMlQVy/?igshid=adem67p0u9no

[williambenton]

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A post shared by William Benton is Cat Casual (@catcasual)

Looking forward to getting back to Memphis for the first time in a while. Also looking forward to seeing Alicja Pop live as I’m loving the recordings she sent. 🎶👍😽#catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself @sonablast #memphis #memphismusic #thatshowigottomemphis #dkdc #indiememphis #memphispunk (at BAR DKDC) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8L7B3oF8NG/?igshid=1vl4fs5rmvahc

[williambenton]

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A post shared by William Benton is Cat Casual (@catcasual)

Next month we will be doing a little run of shows that I am very excited about- starting with this one at the lovely @schlaflybeer Tap Room in St. Louis with @bananaclipsband and @subtropolisss /// 😽 /// #catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself @sonablast #louisville #louisvillemusic #stlouis (at Schlafly Tap Room) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8F1Q5_lhdM/?igshid=1kkp7hkwc3hw4

[williambenton]

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A post shared by William Benton is Cat Casual (@catcasual)

I left Oklahoma over twenty years ago. This will be my first proper/real show there. Please tell your Tulsa friends. 😽#catcasual #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself #louisville #oklahoma #okie #tulsatime #tulsasound @wearetulsamusic @tulsa_oklahoma @okgazette @sonablast (at Soundpony Bar) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7jpjjJFyjE/?igshid=gpc73p0dgyw3

[williambenton]

Got throwed onto this and it should be hella’ fun, playing with friend and life coach Steven Clark and his @theasshaulers , along with #johnfromcargo ||| 8p, at @nirvanalouisville ||| #catcasual #louisville #howwelou #catcasualandthefinalword #thesecretself @thingstolou @yeslouisville @louisville.ky @do502 @leoweekly @louisvillemag @sonablast (at Nirvana Louisville) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6TP71ZF-9y/?igshid=1pmg9izigctk3