#these won't be too frequent

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 5 thoughts

boy. where this episode started out and where this episode ended were two VASTLY different spaces. come along while i undergo this journey.

the first thing we see is a dog! a doggy! it's a border collie, and it looks like it could be the same one we see in s1 episode 8- maybe dog actors are in short supply! but border collies are famously very smart and to me the cutest of all dogs, so i was pleased to see a friendly face <3

and then things escalated. aliens arrived to fetch the dog's owner.

thankfully they left the dog alone- perhaps they saw the threatening "ALIENS, STAY AWAY FROM THAT DOG" i had written in my notes- but whatever they are inflicting upon this gentleman seems. unpleasant.

(the aliens are obviously terrifying but they're always shown vaguely wiggling in some cold white light and it does make me laugh. ohhhh here they come. the wigglers)

so in the morning our gentleman- duane- was taken to a correctional facility and he hasn't been taking his meds... and then he hurts his doctor! they always find the kindest looking people to play doctors on this show and then make them suffer

THE NEXT THING WE SEE IS: a pool? the pool scene i wrote about seeing a while ago in my last post! the one where mulder emerges mostly naked from his exercise to face this new guy who looks like he covers his beer stench with a designer cologne!

i rewound to see whose pool it was mulder was swimming in but gained no clues. would be sick if the FBI had an in house pool.

breaking news: this SOAKING WET MAN is called to a HOSTAGE SITUATION!

(i do find it endearing that he swims recreationally <3)

next thing i wrote was "alex is pissing me off" and i don't even remember what he did but i stand by it

so mulder is at the scene, duane has four hostages, and claims to be abducted by aliens. now to mulder it makes perfect sense to ask about his abduction experience, and he's trying to do his homework and follow the rules for hostage negotiation, but duane knows all the tricks because he's former FBI which they DID NOT TELL MULDER!

he walks up to the head of the hostage situation and very angrily asks if she knows about how aliens will take your brains out and fuck with your ovaries and she tries not to laugh at him. mulder tell me what they do to ovaries i'll listen. i'll take notes.

and then alex is trying to be all sickly sweet puppy dog boy and asks if he can do anything to help. so the head of the hostage situation tells him to get her a coffee. HA! POINT AT HIM AND LAUGH.

cutscene to SCULLY CAM!!!! <3 she's gonna sleuth for his medical records

ohhh the power went out and duane started blasting. he shot someone so they're gonna send mulder and another guy in (an excuse for mulder to wear a paramedic uniform.......)

mulder's like nooo i won't tell him i believe in aliens (<- said by a man who is lying)

and off to the races, can you imagine it, he does JUST that, says he believes duane and trades himself for the guy who was shot... he says it happened to his sister OHHHHHHH sister mention

he's got the guy monologuing about his tortures from the aliens and honestly, these aliens are bitches. there is NO reason to do all of this. drilling holes in his teeth??? that's fucked

alex is on the phone with scully who is freaking tf out because duane is lying about who he says he is... when he tells her he traded himself for the injured hostage she says "WHAT!" so loudly and is filled with intense urgency

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! his sister was 8 when they took her

(for some reason i thought she was 10 when it happened, but the larger age gap between them explains a lot in terms of his instinctive level of Protectiveness towards all creatures big and small)

this next part had me GAGGED: SCULLY FLEW IN FROM WASHINGTON!!!! she is AT THE SCENE and she is YELLING at someone who isn't listening to her

alex made a VERY FATAL mistake in telling her to "calm down" while mulder is a HOSTAGE and she RIGHTFULLY told him off (and frankly she could have kept going and i wouldn't have complained) but she's a woman who gets things done so she finds someone who will actually listen to her

she says he has a very unique case of being shot in a specific part of the brain which happened to another guy before and then that guy became a pathological liar so she is basically saying "duane is the nastiest skank bitch i have ever met do NOT trust him"

so back to the scene. duane is saying the government is there while the aliens do all this. which i have no idea how to interpret so i'm just storing it here for later use.

SCULLY CAN HEAR HIM! she's on his secret wire mic and talking to him. duane can hear her a little bit but is going on about "the mountains"... it was at this point, with scully talking in mulder's ear, that everything was so tense i had a brief moment where i remembered that this is actually a tv show i'm watching in my free time and not an actual life or death thing

mulder convinces duane to let the women go and the younger one says she believes him which had to be impactful i'd think

but the snipers are closing in!!! mulder sees the line of fire on him and calls him over to get him out of the way so he won't get shot....

he asks duane if she was lying to distract him and now he's VERY VERY VERY ANGRY and he tries to calm him back down and say hey... you forgot to lock the door.... please go lock the door...

and he goes over to the door and bam. duane's shot.

we see scully and mulder watch as he's loaded into the ambulance and mulder looks deeply conflicted and once again has his sad wet eyes on because he still believes duane was telling the truth. scully tells mulder he did the right thing in getting him to go to the door, because we all know by now that mulder has a complicated set of feelings towards any loss of life.

"whatever you're feeling, you did the right thing" <- augh. scully loves him so much. oh to love anyone how truly and deeply scully loves this man

(shhhh i'm not getting into what kind of love it is. i don't know and whatever your answer for its flavor is, you cannot deny that she loves him. that she tries to find the exact words he wants to hear to soothe that internal Guilt he wears like a heavy jacket.)

later he smiles when the lead hostage negotiator calls him to thank him because he broke all of her rules and thought he was going to get yelled at LMAOOO that lil smile was very sweet

and he goes to see duane but the REAL reason she called him in was to tell him about the metal they extracted from duane's body... the doctors claim that the stuff in his teeth could not have been made from any current technology... alien life confirmed??

((i thought the episode would end here on a little cliffhanger that never gets resolved but boy. i was off))

no, instead of an episode's conclusion, we see mulder bring the metal pieces to scully, who once again has the most beautiful freckles in the world, and she says she'll take it down to be analyzed.

mulder leaves the room without saying a word which i thought to be cold in the moment and now that i'm typing this knowing what happens next i might actually cry.

she goes to the store and she's buying some stuff... we see kodak film in the background... sigh instant cameras i love you and your work... but she buys $11 of groceries and then sneaks the metal chip across the barcode reader and it makes the whole thing break down!!!!

the poor cashier is freaking out because the machine is going wild and she looks at scully like "did you touch it?" and she says no and awkwardly leaves LMAOOOOOOO i was howling because girl idk wtf i would have done in that situtation either

duane wakes up to more aliens and rips all his medical stuff off and runs like he didn't get shot very recently and he's on the prowl for something

scully's back at her place, calling mulder, telling him about how the barcode scanned, and she's really worked up about the whole thing, when she hears a rustle, but it's just a thunderstorm...

but she goes to the window and DUANE IS THERE!!! a look of horror passes over her face, and we hear her through mulder's answering machine, screaming for help while he takes her

(everything happened SO quickly, it transpired in my notes like this: WHAT!!! he's outside her window WHAT THE FUCK TO BE CONTINUED??)

yes. we get a "TO BE CONTINUED" on the outtro scene.

i sat there, baffled for a few moments, trying to process what i just saw.

but then i thought i noticed something else: her place looked different than it did in s1. at least, i thought it did- we didn't see it much, but perhaps she got fed up with folks showing up like eugene tooms did in s1 and bought a nicer space. i thought the old space was cute though, and maybe it really is the same space but from a different angle, but then i thought about how it looked like mulder's space also changed from s1, so maybe they both moved, or maybe i'm just not good at noticing things, but oh yeah, scully's in virigina now since she's at the academy, so she probably DID move, although i thought the drive from DC to virigina was doable, but maybe not?

none of this changes the fact that scully has been TAKEN.

(i won't lie, i knew this was going to happen at some point, because i read the s2 episode descriptions and saw something about her being "returned", which implies being taken in the first place. but still. it was very abrupt. they had thoroughly lulled me into expecting a vague sort of non-answer of an ending and then switched out the formula at just the right time so i never grew suspicious)

to be continued!!! this is soooo evil, especially because i don't have time to watch the next episode tomorrow. so i'm gonna walk around all day tomorrow at important work events thinking about what horrors scully must be enduring and get NO conclusion as to what they might be. duane i have fists and you are not real and i am small but i am unafraid to bludgeon you. stay away from her if you even LOOK at her ohhhh you're gonna learn a lot more than what it feels like when aliens take out ur brain just keep that in mind!

(and man. i'm sitting here typing. thinking about how mulder never said a real goodbye to her the last time they spoke. and i wonder if that's gonna haunt him. and i wonder if when he gets her back, he always always always makes sure to take the time for a goodbye. just on the off chance it might really be the last one. fuck.)

[suddencolds]

.~

[dappy-dappernette]

IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ

Well, here it is. Since me defending myself last time without naming anyone is a “call out post” I wonder what this is.

CW: Discussion of abuse, manipulation, and accusations of gr--ming, s-icide faking.

While it may not seem like it, since last year I have been paranoid and looking over my shoulder due to certain things that have come to light regarding someone who I had once considered a friend. The person who has gone on to blatantly lie about my friends and I as well as accusing me of a serious crime based on lies and manipulations is the user @Chibidashie (on Tumblr)/ @Chibiidashie (on Twitter) also known as @Wonderful-World-Of-Hetalia, @Purin-Hime, and @hetalia-themagicalmanac on Tumblr. 

I’d like to keep this as brief and concise as possible, and while she has made multiple posts vagueing my friends and I, I will be primarily responding to the claims made in this post ( https://www.tumblr.com/chibidashie/700598829666451456/alright-this-is-gonna-be-very-risky-posting-here?source=share ) she made about my friends and I on tumblr, though I will also address other notable times she has mentioned me. I will also only be responding to the claims she has made against me and/or my gf, as I don’t feel like it’s my place to speak for the rest of my friends, especially since some of them will be making their own posts regarding the situation.

Something I’d also like to address before we start is that while I do have screenshots for most of these incidents, I don’t have screenshots for all of them, as some of these conversations have happened over VC and while we are telling our truth, we understand if you are skeptical about those specific sections.

Here is my friend Mick's post about the situation, since it mostly started between him and Cheebs: Here

(The rest of the post under the cut)

Some Context:

I had met Cheebs about two years ago in my friend Mick’s (then known as Gil and who will be referred to as such in screenshots later) old Hetatwt discord server, and sometime later she would join my own (now inactive) server.

Mick and Cheebs have a much longer history together than she does with me, though I do not believe it’s my place to speak much on that as that is his story to tell. However, sometime after Cheebs and Mick had joined the friend group, Mick and Cheebs had a falling out. She reacted to this by going to most of her and Mick’s mutual friends (including me) in an attempt to turn us against him, however when we asked him, Mick told us the truth and provided full context to what happened.

Later, Cheebs contacted me to apologize once again, and while I did try to remain mature about it, after everything that had happened I was already hurt and tired enough and finally told her off. To which she apologized again, and said she’ll improve herself and come back to give us a genuine apology when she was ready.

“The Beginning of a Calamity”

(I will be starting off with this section, as it’s the start of the accusations Cheebs has levied against me. When Cheebs is referring to A she’s referring to me, P for Mick, and S for Salt, my gf. Mick is also referred to as “Gil” in some of the screenshots, as that was a name he used to go by. The reason why Cheebs calls Mick P is because an old name he went by was “Percy” and the reason why Cheebs uses A to refer to me is because my legal name starts with an A. This will become important later)

“People like P and A had suddenly decided to exclude me, saying that my oc I had since I was 16 suddenly made them uncomfortable.”

We did not “suddenly” decide to “exclude” you from the rps in our servers because we were “suddenly uncomfortable” out of nowhere. We had our own reasons as to why we were uncomfortable with your OC’s inclusion in the rp.

The main OC that Cheebs would rp in these servers is her OC Mary, a child. The main issue that we had with her rping this character isn’t “Oh an adult rping a kid is weird and gross”, it’s that she tried to push her again, child OC, into an rp where characters who were pretty awful people (much less anyone you’d trust with a kid) were discussing and engaging in scenarios that are highly inappropriate for children, with the main topics usually being about drugs and suggestive themes. 

It would have been one thing if we were simply rping a fun slice of life rp or if Cheebs was rping an of age character but still excluded her, but that wasn’t the case. Many of us were very uncomfortable with her trying to insert a child into these sorts of situations and were simply trying to reinforce our boundaries.

“People, including A and their friends posted art on the art channel and would get a lot of responses from everyone on the server. I would post my art...and it seemed like I did not exist. A and their friends would post art over me, drowning my art in praise for A and their friends.”

This isn’t true, there are multiple instances where we would respond to her art. Were they lengthy comments where we would go into deep detail about what we liked? Not really but we did at least acknowledge and compliment her work and tried to show appreciation. Not only that, but Cheebs would also do the same to us, multiple times.

Also-

“this had reminded me of a similar occurrence in which a popular artist in the same fandom had done this as a tactic to harass me and send porn in servers that minors were present in.”

This came out of complete left field, and was most likely an attempt to paint me in a similar predatory light. She will try to do this again later on in the same post, which only adds weight to my concerns regarding this statement.

“Meanwhile on A's server, A would dehumanize me into nothing more than a living, breathing joke, despite knowing well that I am autistic and a survivor. One vc I clearly remember was something that went like this:A: Guys, my cat is in my room!Me: tell your cat I love them!A: Okay! [Pause] ...Oh? What's that? Cheebs, My cat says she hates you.”

I won’t deny that I’ve made this joke before, I’ve actually made it multiple times. However, what Cheebs fails to mention is that I didn’t single her out when making jokes like this, this is literally just how I joke with friends in general. The rest of the people who were on VC with us can vouch for it, and have had this joke and similar jokes directed towards them before while Cheebs was present in VC.

Not only that, but if Cheebs was so hurt by it, then she should have mentioned it to me instead of just laughing along with us. How am I supposed to magically know how others feel without them telling me? If she was honest with me and told me how it made her feel I would’ve stopped making those jokes, but she never told me, and now I’m at fault for not being able to read her mind?

“yet nobody in A's server really seemed to care that I was hurting and quite literally living a massive flashback from having so many ptsd episodes. they simply did not care at all nor asked if I was okay.”

I assume she’s talking about her vents in the vent chat and the lack of response to them, which again, something she seems to purposefully leave out is the fact that the vent chat was only accessible to people with the vent chat role. Not only that, but some of us had the vent chat muted at the time, as many of us were dealing with our own struggles and were not in the proper headspace to check on it often.

What only makes this statement even more frustrating is that even with that, there were still people who did check up on her and respond to her vents, such as Mick and my SO, Salt.

P’s server:

“They had also been uncomfortable at the fact I was venting about how A had hurt and dehumanized me countless times, and had not been held accountable by the people around them. They truly believed that I was shit-talking about A, when I was living a flashback of how A reminded me so much of our abuser personality-wise. P had sided with A.”

Held accountable for what? Not being able to read your mind on what jokes you were and weren’t comfortable with? Again, I apologize if whatever jokes I’ve made has made you uncomfortable, but you can’t vilify me for not knowing when you made no effort to tell me at the time.

And Mick wasn’t uncomfortable with you simply “venting”, he was uncomfortable with you lying about me and twisting the truth while naming me, while I was none the wiser to what was going on and still thought we were cool. Again, as I’ve repeated before, if you had simply stated your boundaries and come to me about how you felt then I would have respected them. But you never did.

safe space breached

“A had never interacted at all since joining my server, only basically watching me.”

I’m barely active on most servers I’m in, even the servers of some of my closest friends. And I’ll even admit this, I almost never checked Cheeb’s server, and whenever I did it was to get rid of the tagged notification that would pop up often. However this wasn’t out of malicious intent, I’m just the type of person who’ll join a server but barely say or do anything in it and Cheebs is reaching if she believes this is “evidence of espionage”.

“A's s/o, S, would interact and occasionally join game night with my friends, but even S had a very good facade that they were committed acts of espionage for the love of A”

This specific line makes me a lot angrier than it should. Because not only is this a fucking lie (again), but even when the rest of us were beginning to catch onto Cheeb’s true nature, Salt was the one to actually try to stick with Cheebs and try to be the best friend she could to her even when she herself was uncomfortable or hurt by Cheebs. We were even hesitant to tell Salt everything that Cheebs had done, including talking shit about Salt behind her back, because we didn’t want to force a wedge between Salt and who we perceived as a friend she loved.

Salt wasn’t spying on you Cheebs, and didn’t even know about our issues with you and how you talked about her behind closed doors until we told her. She trusted you and stuck by you even at the cost of her own comfort and mental health, and you decided to repay her by lying about her behind her back.

“(which i theorize that A had actually groomed S due to the fact that when i met them in A's server, A was 18 and S was 16 as well as the power imbalance between the two.)”

Well, this again is a blatant lie. And a really dangerous accusation to carelessly toss around without evidence. Salt and I are the same age, with the age gap between us being only 8 months. I’ve already disproven this claim with evidence in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/the-doll-house-gallery/712497364283326464?source=share

I should also mention that while she only uses the first initials of our usernames (or legal name in my case) to refer to us here on this post, she had referred to us by name in her server.

And while you might go “Well this was in private so it’s ok” word and gossip still spreads around, and I’ve lost friends because someone had lied about me like this before.

abusive conflict

Well this one is going to be a doozy to get through

“I had dmed A about the fact i was not a fool and i knew that everyone involved (P, S, F and D) were hiding something about me. I had no answer until around midnight, in which A verbally abused me by accusing me of guilt-tripping, as well as bringing up past mistakes of mine to make themselves appear morally superior. i admit, i had made mistakes that can easily be solved in A’s server from communicating with each other, but A had verbally abused me over dms to the point that i had a panic attack late at night, with only 2 hours of sleep and a long work day in the morning.”

This isn’t what happened at all, quite the opposite actually. Cheebs came crawling to me, begging for forgiveness. And while I did respond at midnight (for her, I’m CT not EST), it’s not as though Cheebs messaged me earlier in the day with me deliberately responding late at night so she could barely have energy to work the next day, because Cheebs had initially messaged me from 11:30 pm - 12:00 am EST. 

I also had work the next day and was already stressed enough with preparing for upcoming classes when Cheebs had suddenly messaged me that late at night, tired, stressed, and at my wits end with Cheeb’s constant excuses, I messaged her this:

I, and many others, were tired of her not only dragging us into her falling out with Mick and her attempts to turn us against him, but also her overall two faced behaviour towards the rest of us as well. While yes, I could’ve worded this much nicer, at this point I was already tired and hurt by what she had done to us. I was the one who ended up confronting her about these problems, not the other way around.

“i had begged A to stop with the verbal abuse, but A was unrelenting. A kept going about how i was a terrible person for standing up for myself and being upset of P leaving me, in which they had told me “go apologize to P”, despite also saying "your apologies do not mean anything to us".”

I did not say this, as you can see in my message to her what I actually said and meant was “Apologies don’t mean anything if you don’t follow through with them”, and they don’t. Apologies are meant as an expression of feeling sorry for your actions and that you’ll at least try to do better, but they really don’t mean anything if you just keep repeating what you were apologizing for. It’s not a “get out of jail free card” you can use over and over again.

You also didn’t “beg” me to “stop verbally abusing you”, so I don’t know where that came from.

I also didn’t tell Cheebs to “Apologize to Mick for getting mad at him abandoning you” I told her to apologize to him for trying to drag everyone else into this situation and attempt to turn us against him, when this was all happening he was incredibly stressed out because she just kept running to anyone who knew him to tell them “He’s actually a terrible, cruel person who ABANDONED me and his friends!” while refusing to hear why he wanted to distance himself from her (which he will go into more detail in his own post).

“i had asked A if they were spying on me. what A said was something like “no, but P told me everything.”. A contradicted themselves, and i had assumed so; they too were a snake.”

“Something like” so not what I had actually said. This is how the conversation went:

But looking back on our messages, I was misremembering the situation. Before I joined, Cheebs told me that she was “cleaning her vents” and I got worried that she was shit talking Mick, but didn’t tell him immediately right away because I felt as though that was invading her privacy at the time. It wasn’t until Mick ended up venting to me that she’s been contacting everyone else, not just me, about the situation with Mick while twisting his words to make him sound worse and to try to get them to turn against him that I decided to tell him my concerns. Which is when he finally broke it to me about what she had been saying about me while naming me.

Cheebs had actually come to apologize to me about this in the past, however, she had only said that she vagued about us in her vents. When in reality, she was apparently naming us and twisting our actions into something more malicious than they actually were.

Also, I wasn’t only still hurt and mad about the “venting” about me, but I was also hurt by the implication of her suddenly deciding to “clean” the vents when I finally joined. That meant in the months after that, she: A- Didn’t even bother to delete those messages and tell the truth of what really happened

B- Still continued to lie about me to that server even after “apologizing” and didn’t want me to see it.

These potential outcomes, along with her trying to hide the truth from me and being overall dishonest, really hurt when I realized the whole truth.

“The last i spoke to A, A had said “come back to me when you apologize to P.””

I didn’t just say “come back when you apologize to Mick” I said “Come back when you resolve this with Mick.”, as in when you two talk through this and try to understand the other and stop taking worse-case assumptions and taking them as the fact and truth.

Foreword

“when A became verbally abusive, i had felt their aftershocks for around two weeks due to underlying ptsd and the fact that this confrontation was abusive in tone, and that they blamed me for all of these issues, from being excluded and all. it reminded me so much of my abuser, that i had begun to question whether i was a horrible person for the fact people had turned against me. even before A confronted me, i was already comparing myself to people like chris-chan and puppychan because of the fact these two were bad, not to mention that i was autistic.”

It was “abusive” in tone because I was angry, I was fucking tired of this situation and hurt by not only the things you had initially done, but also the way you would constantly tell us that you were “sorry” and that you’d “improve” when you never even tried.

Also no one except you compared yourself to Chris-Chan and Puppy-Chan, and no one else even brought up your autism, why are you bringing this up?

“was me venting about being harmed by people who turned against me a bad thing?”

Venting in itself isn’t bad, but what is bad is lying about people and their character while naming them. Stuff like that spreads around and can even be spread to outside your friend group. Again, I’ve lost friendships and now a portion of a community I was in thinks I’m pro-nazi/pro-pedo because of a similar situation like this where someone went around lying about my friends and I behind our backs in private while we were none the wiser.

I’d even argue that naming people while lying about them behind their backs in a private group is even worse than publicly naming them, because it’s an incredibly underhand and scummy tactic to ruin someone’s reputation where they can’t even defend themselves. She knew exactly what she was doing.

“A especially needs to hold themselves accountable, for that they used me for nothing more than jokes at my expense. A’s friends were complacent in letting A get away with being manipulative and still dehumanize me against my will, this includes P.”

Ah yes, hold myself accountable for things I didn’t even know you were uncomfortable with because you refused to tell me. I’m terribly y’all for not being able to read minds.

“they would paint me as mentally unstable and manipulative when none of that is ever true and perhaps due to the fact many of these people were not autistic.”

I don’t need to “paint” you as manipulative because you’ve already proven that you are by your actions, especially in this post. Throughout this post you’ve constantly been catering to everyone’s emotions, tried to make yourself sound smaller and weaker compared to the rest of us than you actually were and are, and bring up things that were never mentioned or have little to nothing to do with the situation to make yourself appear more sympathetic.

An example would be in this very post where you randomly brought up your Polish ancestry out of no where and accused Mick's S/O of calling you a nazi when that never happened:

“yet i had communicated my feelings (as would a therapist would recommend in a situation like this), only to get ignored or given an excuse”

Thank you for admitting that you never told us right here btw, makes it a lot easier on me.

“except these people now use a private twitter account and say things about me without me seeing what they said because they are private accounts.”

Well isn’t this statement ironic with everything that’s happened, also while you have no proof of us shittalking you in private, we do have proof of you shit talking us!

Also

"oh and the fact that i wanted to fake my death bc of them too"

Is really... Alarming, to hear. So you planned to fake your own suicide to make us look worse?

“i sure had wished that this situation was handled better, because it really sucks to see many of my mutuals follow the people involved in hurting me, and i only wish for them to be held accountable, like how i had held myself accountable so many times, but those people could not see that i was truly sorry.”

I wish it was handled better too, but I don’t think I’ll ever be getting that especially since you still vague about us (and presumably still shit talk us in private tho that’s just alleged) over literally a year later. Also how could we even hold ourselves accountable over things we weren’t even aware of??? Also, if being "truly sorry" is lying about others, especially when those lies include false grooming allegations, I'd hate to see you when you aren't.

Additional incidents:

BECAUSE YES THERE’S MORE

Issues with interrupting:

Whenever we’d VC and Cheebs would join, more often than not, she would usually interrupt others and skew the conversation to what she wanted to talk about. Barely letting others speak and often directing the conversation back to her. Multiple times we would gently tell her to stop interrupting everyone else and let other people speak, she would say sorry, but then do it again. 

But one of the worst instances of this happening was when I was venting on call once. That night on call I was having a full on emotional breakdown, I was sobbing and overcome with grief at the time, and even contemplating taking my own life. Most of the server was there and were trying to be there for me, and when I tried to take a quick breath from all that crying, Cheebs thought it was a great time to go “...Sooo, moving on from that- Today is Dashcon’s anniversary!”

This really hurt me and made me feel as though the distress I was going through didn’t matter, so as calmly as I could possibly muster, I asked Cheebs to not interrupt me. Cheebs then disconnected, and Mick had to 

The Fanfic:

Because yes, Cheebs has literally dedicated a chapter of her fanfic to this situation. How do we know this? Because not only is one of the villains named Percival, the extended version of the name Percy (which Mick used to go by at the time), while one of them is named Aiden whose name starts and ends with the same letters as my legal name. 

But also because most of the things that these characters do is what Cheebs accused us of (along with her adding on additional worse things to appear more sympathetic), as well as her admitting that she based it on how “Old friends treated me” and looking at the timing of this message, it matches up.

The fanfic is “Those Fleeting Dreams of Mine” and the chapter is “Chapter 12: The Boy in the Beast” Here is the fic and the exact chapter where Aiden and Percival show up so you can read it yourselves: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35651113/chapters/104722581#workskin

This is where I feel Cheebs becomes more insidious in her ways of slandering us and trying to make herself look like the victim.

In this fanfic Percival, Aiden, and their friends are described as a “gang”, violently physically assault Jack (Cheeb’s self insert), are described as rowdy, violent, thieves, and “demons”. The main reason why I take issue with these things specifically, especially with the way she makes the falling out seem more violent on our end is because- Mick and I are not white. Mick is african-American and I am Southeast Asian. The rest of our friend are all Latine, while Cheebs is white.

Cheebs knows we’re darker skinned POC, she’s seen our faces in video calls before and she has listened in on our conversations regarding our experiences as racial minorities. She knows that black and brown people struggle with stereotypes of being violent and crude gang members, stereotypes that can get people attacked or even killed. Yet she still decided it was a good idea to portray characters that are blatantly based on us as violent delinquents attacking her weak and helpless self insert based on herself, a white woman.

Could she have just written this just for the sake of it? Perhaps. But going by her logic as well, with her accusing me of being ablest for simply calling her manipulative in my other post defending myself, it wouldn’t be too far of a reach to think she’s applied this logic to her fanfic. This is literally the definition of “White woman tears”. Words can’t describe how disturbed and uncomfortable I felt seeing her portray us in this way, especially when she knew of the shit we and our people have to deal with.

Also in that boat:

We never called you that, and it’s weird that you would even bring that up (this was before we found out about the fanfic, and looking back at it in retrospect…)

The “Neurotypical” comic:

 Shortly after I found out that Cheebs was accusing me of being a “groomer”, I decided to make a post defending myself and showing evidence of Salt and I being the same age. Cheebs had apparently felt threatened by this, even though I never named her, never brought up her autism, and even kept her gender identity private. In response she made this comic:

This was the description:

This post was made a couple days after I posted the post where I defended myself against her accusations of grooming. Not only is this comic grossly misrepresenting the situations (my post was me defending myself against this claims with evidence, and Cheeb’s “vents” were her lying about me while using my name), but also- I’m most likely not neurotypical, and Mick isn’t either.

Mick is professionally diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD and self diagnosed with Autism, and while I’m not professionally diagnosed with anything, that doesn’t confirm whether I’m neurotypical or not, and based on my own behaviours I’ve noted growing up I believe I might have either ADHD and/or Autism.

I currently cannot get a professional diagnosis due to financial issues, familial/cultural issues, and transportation issues. I currently don’t have any means to get diagnosed, and even if I did, familial and cultural pressure from my family has scared me into being unable to ask them for help.

This is something I would bring up frequently in the server we were in, and Cheebs was well aware of this. So it feels incredibly callous of her to use this as a way to make it seem like we’re a bunch of “mean neurotypicals attacking someone for being autistic”. Which makes this situation even more baffling is that Cheebs supports self-diagnosis but still uses other’s inability to be professionally diagnosed as a point against them:

So is self-diagnosis valid until it’s inconvenient for you Cheebs?

The “Draw Your Squad” incident:

This was in response to a draw the squad picture my friend Bowie drew of us:

The reason why Cheebs wasn’t in this picture was because this “Draw Your Squad” pic was based on whenever we would actually play monopoly/Bankroll on Plato, and whenever we did Cheebs would never join us or never even asked to join. Again, Cheebs never even tried to join and never told us that she wanted to be included, how were we supposed to know if she never brought it up?

The most recent “vent” art: Recently, at the time of writing this, Cheebs has posted this piece to her art blog.

Yeah this is obviously based on me (and presumably Mick), not only do the accusations match up but the puppet master character has strong similarities to my sona, Dappy.

It’s incredibly evident that she’s still set on shit talking and vagueing us, even over a year later.

Other issues:

While these aren’t completely related to the topic of Cheebs slandering my friends and I, there are other incidents that make me incredibly uncomfortable, especially as an Asian person.

Sometimes, how Cheebs talks about Asian things (especially Japanese stuff) comes off as rather fetishy and racially/culturally insensitive.

“Nothing like Spirited Away”

In this post, Cheebs talks about going to a Korean bathhouse for an early birthday gift. While there’s obviously nothing wrong with embracing other cultures, it is off putting to see her adding “Def nothing like Spirited Away though lmao” at the end.

And while yes, she’s most likely making a small joke about a movie she likes, it seems like she decided to make the comparison because “Japan and Korea are East Asian countries”. Which not only comes off as pretty racist, but feels even more gross considering Japan’s colonization of Korea and the atrocities that happened during that time.

“Hikikomori”

Well this feels gross. Basically Cheebs is calling herself a “hikikomori”, which is a phenomenon in Japan where people become shut in from society. They don’t go outside, not to go to work, to school, or anything else. It is a serious form of severe social withdrawal that devastates the lives of many.

Which is why it feels gross that Cheebs is deciding to use the word as a “cute” synonym for being an introvert. Cheebs is definitely not a hikikomori, she goes to work, attends college, goes to cons, goes to meetups, still as irl relationships, etc. And while yes, she is introverted and shy, that alone does not make someone a hikikomori, and it feels more like she’s using the term as a “kawaii” alternative to introvert.

Conclusion:

Please don’t attack Cheebs or anyone else in this situation, all I want is for my name to be cleared and for this situation to end. I’m tired of constantly having to look over my shoulder, I’m tired of being lied about behind my back, I just want her to be held accountable and for her to stop lying about me. If any of you guys have other questions or need further context for some of these I will respond to your questions, but this is all that came to mind in regards of this situation. 

Again, please don’t attack Cheebs, her friends, or anyone else in this situation. We just want this to stop and for her to stop lying about us.

[mymarifae]

aHA! i have finally figured out why i never jived with the kanade tenma hc. like you know me. THE found family guy. even if i don’t hc it myself i can still have fun watching other people have fun. but this one was always just 1. confusing and 2. not fun for me to see and i could never articulate why but i’ve got it now

the entire problem with Kanade Tenma is as a whole the fandom has a tendency to treat kanade like an orphan. like she has no family, no support system, like she’s all alone and needs to be taken in by the... tenmas... for some reason... (still not sure why the fandom decided she needs to be a tenma like she’s never even met tsukasa or saki. how is she getting over there. if she’s getting taken in by anybody it should be like... the mochizukis) and it’s like... guys. you do realize she’s not an orphan, right? she has family. she has good family. idr all the reasons why her grandma doesn’t live with her, but i’m assuming it’s along the lines of her being too old and frail to properly take care of a child at this point in her life - which is why she set kanade up with that caretaker/housekeeper system. it’s not perfect, but at least she isn’t being left to fend for herself

her dad is alive. just because he had a stroke and is now experiencing vascular dementia doesn’t mean he’s basically dead or that kanade is basically fatherless or something awful like that. (i’m genuinely still not sure what the fuck the game thinks it wrote irt what put kanade’s dad in the hospital but like. it wrote a stroke followed by vascular dementia. that’s what it did. “burnout” my fucking ass) i know at the end of the day kanade tenma is ultimately just a harmless headcanon, but like... please take a moment to think about the message even your most harmless headcanons might send. “if your parent is suffering from dementia and no longer recognizes you... well you don’t have a parent anymore. you need a new one. sorry.” obviously no one intends to say such a horrible thing, but remember that intent <<<<<<< final impression left on your outside audience.

having a family member that you love so much forget about you is a story that needs to be told. the prsk fandom needs to take a step back and just let this be told As It Is. kanade’s family is so, so fucking important to her. she’s only the person she is today because of her parents and all the gratitude and love she feels for them both. like, literally her most recent focus was her realizing how loved she was in light of mafuyu’s mother’s coldness. she knows that she experienced true unconditional love - something that mafuyu’s mom seems incapable of giving her daughter - and she still carries that love and warmth in her heart now. it’s what defines her as a person. it’s what gives her the courage to continue living. it’s why she believes she can save mafuyu and so many other people. she has that memory of what real genuine honest to god unconditional love is, and she’s so fucking determined to share it with the world.

kanade doesn’t... need a “new” family. her family may have suffered multiple tragedies, and it may be fragmented and a little broken, but... it’s hers. i don’t think it’s in good taste to take that away from her and try to “fix” her by placing her in a “better” family. it’s completely unnecessary.

[oh-meow-swirls]

it's kind of weird to me that they didn't bother releasing sushi and tempura internationally at all but at the same time i'm kinda glad they didn't cuz like. yo-kai watch was financially failing in the west by the time 3 released. i feel like if they had released sushi and tempura the franchise would've completely tanked before we got sukiyaki which would've sucked. honestly if anything i feel like it's more surprising that we got all three versions of 2 instead of them just releasing psychic specters but tbf i think yo-kai watch was doing well in the west when 2 released. 2 is just inexplicably what killed the franchise despite being a masterpiece-

[doomedpuppetyuri]

splatoon fans can we as a fandom agree that we take things way too seriously and just. calm down

[daz4i]

ooooooo i'm fairly certain this is official art since i found it on kadokawa's site, but in that case i'm surprised i've never seen it before 👀 so if you're like me. here enjoy this ranpo art

[party-at-jacurutu]

therapy session (not covered by insurance, cost of one day's (todays) wages)

[pikachu-deluxe]

i absolutely am an idiot sometimes huh

[cappucosmico]

going to kill myself over the state of my wallet rn

[tiny-feisty-gay]

jobs will say they're disability friendly until you actually need them to be friendly about your disabilities

jobs will say they're mental health friendly until you actually have to miss work for it

jobs will say they support you taking time off until you actually do it

capitalism is a sham and employers do not and will not ever care about you, and if you're chronically ill, sucks to suck

i have an average of 1.5 absences a month and i'm tardy an average of twice a month, and somehow that's still too much.

18 absences in a year if i go at the current rate. 18. out of the 208 days total that i work (4 on, 3 off, with a 3 hour commute each direction.) 18. days. of absences. and that's too many.

and god forbid i be more than 15 minutes late.

[froggysoup]

the way it takes me hours to make even a sketch because i get distracted every five minutes...... help

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya is rather touch averse, cringing away from casual contact people give him under the guise of being distracted or idle movement. He's used to it, the Ragnvindrs and Adenlinde got him used to frequent affectionate physical contact, but it can still be entirely Uncomfortable if he's touched by someone outside those he is close to or someone he's otherwise Allowed to touch him.

[brainscrewz]

me thinking about how productive i could be if i had a car

me thinking about how many hours of my day i could spend doing whatever i want if i had a car

me thinking about going to multiple stores in one trip if i had a car

me thinking about being able to work any shift i want if i had a car

me thinking about getting all my errands done in an hour if i had a car

me thinking about not getting a sunburn from waiting for the bus every day if i had a car

me thinking about being able to get food from a drive thru if i had a car

me thinking about going places after 7pm if i had a car

me thinking about smoking in my car if i had a car

me thinking about how much less my body might hurt if i had a car

me thinking about taking my friends out if i had a car

i absolutely could not afford to buy even a craigslist car and i definitely cannot afford gas and maintenance and also i hate car dependent infrastructure and the ecological havoc the automotive industry is wreaking on the planet. but sigh. if i had a car....

[alrightbuckaroo]

hey i was wondering if you still plan on continuing "come and take a walk by the wild side" 🫶 it's one of my favourite fics ever, no pressure tho! 💕

Hey there, anon!

First, thank you so much; I'm so glad you like it :), and yes, I do!

I've been doing my best to work on it in between things so it doesn't just stay stagnant and collect dust. Right now, I'm working on TK's interlude, which is where we learn more about how he met Sam. After that is the Gala, and then from there, it actually shouldn't be too much longer.

As a way to say thank you for your unending patience, here's a snippet of the next chapter:

“Who’s ready to spend the night making the best worst decisions?” Chaos and celebration come barging through the door under the guise of TK’s friend, Derrick Caldwell. Derrick, standing a modest six foot and dressed in monochromatic green, looks to TK, hoping to see the enthusiasm mirrored. Instead, he sees a very heartbroken TK who is not at all ready for a night out. “No, no, no no,” Derrick hurries out, pointing a finger at TK and looking towards Kimberly. “Why is he sulking?” “Josh broke up with him,” Kimberly answers, scavenging through her make-up bag. “Oh,” Derrick deflates, looking back over to TK who’s still staring up at the dorm ceiling. “On your birthday?” “Don’t remind me,” TK says under the cloak of his own hands rubbing up and down his face.