#these two dorks i swear

[brotherbandchronicles]

Jesper getting lost while attempting to find Stefan (requested by @reine-du-sourire)

for the Guy In A Situation prompt, Jesper/Stefan and 8 or 11? (or maybe both at once?)

Thanks! *grins, rubs hands together*

Righto... "Who did this to you?” and Hiding from pursuers. I think the latter is what I'll go for.

Goodness, is it Jesper angst time again?

"I just w-wanted to find you," Jesper mumbles helplessly. "You j-just left and you didn't t-tell anyone where you-"

The face before him seems to swim in the greenish gloom. Stefan frowns a bit, listening to the thrashing of water against the cavern walls.

"Svengal's not the only one with vengeful aunts," he says, almost in disbelief. "You really came all the way out here, alone, into a sirene cove, in a rowboat, without wax plugs for your ears? I've only been gone two days!"

His voice melts as Jesper's lip starts to quiver.

"Oh, Jes."

Stef's hands and fingers and ears are- webbed- and he smells of the sea and something faintly musky as he folds Jesper into a hug.

"I'm okay," he soothes. "I promise. I just came out here to spend some time with my mother and- I couldn't tell you, Jes, I wanted to, I promise, but I didn't think you'd come all the way out here!"

Jesper wants to explain that he hadn't meant to come all the way out here, that he wasn't even trying to get to the cove, but the otherworldly sounds and thrashing waves had- and he'd been lost amidst the jagged rocks and frothing, seething breakers and the faces of women too desperately, frighteningly beautiful to be real.

But he can't.

At least he has what he came for now.

He pulls back for a moment, taking in Stefan's every inch. The faint, scaly sheen waving up and down Stef's arms, his back, his neck. The blond hair hanging in long, wet ropes over the bare shoulders.

Then he falls forward into the hug again.

"Wanted you," Jesper mumbles into the slit-like gills just beneath Stef's jaw. "You left, and I couldn't find you, and I got lost."

Stefan nods. "You started quite a chase. You're one of the first that haven't immediately thrown themselves into the sea when they heard the Song, and my- uh- aunts wanted to know why."

"Got scared."

"I followed them here to see what the commotion was."

Jesper doesn't answer.

Stefan sighs.

"...are they still trying to find me?"

"I'll call them off."

A small, wildly tremulous snicker escapes Jesper's lips.

"What?"

"They wrecked my boat. Hal's going to kill me. I didn't tell him I took it."

"...oh, Jes."

[the-eyes-of-andyserkis]

Andy and Matt Reeves recording ADR for Alfred in "The Batman" (during covid!).

[grapejuicegay]

"Can you give me some time to adjust?" | "I'm done adjusting"

BAD BUDDY EP 8 OUR SKYY 2 BAD BUDDY EP 3

[00belle00lovely00]

OOOOO since we’re talking about underrated ships, how about Bubba x Bobby? (I thought of this because “I love you” “I know” came up in my head one day)

OH... OH WOW- THERE ARE A LOT OF UNDERRATED SHIPS NOBODY TALKS ABOUT.

Oh boy.

The internet isn't internet-ing ya'll. I'm honestly shocked nobody grabs every single smiling critter and does a full-on comic of their own personal ships BUT ANYWAY!

❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘❤️📘

I FULLY ON AGREE WITH THAT ONE HEACANON YOU SAID, HOLY.

PDA lover x doesn't know how affection works but leans into it

With all full-on honesty, Bobby is legitimate if Carebears met CUPID. She'd be going around and about in valentines or literally, on the ordinary day that involved a date sending flowers, love letters, cards, poems, notes, you name it! Hell, Bobby would be capable of grabbing the BIGGEST rose bouquet in the whole world. But you guessed it, when you are one to give all your love, love from someone else hits the double. Aka Bubba would only have to say "You're pretty" and she'd be kicking her feet, running in circles, squealing and writing in her diary like a teenage girl.

This man is formulating a love potion for Bobby. Not to use on HER, what nonsense!... it's because she begged him to let her try it on some squirrels she randomly found in the forest.

Bubba has a great memory, we all know and take it, BUT! He would go far and beyond trying to memorize every romance novel from page one until its end. Would investigate it's authors, it's plot, everything. Which Bobby takes it, of course, at great heart.

THEIR SHIP NAME GOTTA BE LOVELETTERS OR ROMANCE NOVEL. PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏

If they ever got to date, Bobby would pretty much tell EVERYBODY (with Bubba's permission, since consent is so cool), and Kickin would be BEWILDERED. Like- Bobby is the epidemy of affection, corniness, PDA and everything about love. Bubba only sticks into his head and above, lists all that is science. It would've been baffling for anybody to believe (at least for Kickin) that BUBBA would date someone. Or maybe that might be just Kickin's ego breaking by how someone in their group got laid before him lol.

Bobby has separation anxiety. Which explains why she is so mushy and clingy to people. Sometimes, whenever she felt alone in her own room, would crawl into a corner and mumble to herself, trying to reassure herself that people loved her just as much as she loved everyone. And due to that, Bubba would oftentimes come in as a rather strange comfort to her. He still hasn't figured out what she sees in him to be the 'ideal person to calm for emotional comfort'. But surprisingly, it always works! Apparently, she only needed two things in life, someone to talk to and someone that cared.

THEY BETTER BE SWEATER MATCHING. THEY BETTER. THEY GOTTA.

EXTRA:

Bobby: "Hey! Bubba? Would you love me if I were to be a worm?"

Bubba: "What? What kind of question is that? How would you ever be a worm? That's ridiculous"

Bobby: "Would you though?"

Bubba: "... I suppose?... but-"

Bobby: "What about a cockroach"

Bubba: "What?"

Bobby: "How about a rat?"

Bubba: "That's not-"

Bobby: "OH! OH! How about... a spider"

Bubba: "Bobby- you know I'm a man of science, that is theoretically IMPOSSIBLE for you to be any of those things! Unless we're going to talk about alternative universes."

Bobby: "OH! That's a better one, do you think you would still love me in every universe?"

Bubba: "......................."

Bubba: "..... yes."

Bobby: "YIPPIEEEE!!!!!!"

[ct-hardcase]

posting here to say the inquisitor comic is…mediocre and honestly it’s either a skip or read it somewhere at a lower cost

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

For your viewing pleasure...

(Please don't re-post/share this video edit anywhere else. Please just only reblog this video edit on Tumblr. Thank you!)

[azoosepted]

oh to be an ex-syndicate member running from her past who runs into a person who’s on fire, talk with her for 2 minutes, then watch her turn into a completely different person Phoenix-style, part ways, meet again with said person at a bar, become roommates with her, get mindlinking tattoos with her, get asked if we’re together by her friends, nearly die of gay panic, and wind up getting together five minutes later

[blackdigitalrose]

Because this is what spare time leads to... How many years has it been now? Kazuma x Chrono from Vanguard G, my all time OTP, I love this pair so much (*≧∀≦*) Just wish there was more of it about!

[angeltannis]

if I could draw regularly again without injuring myself I'd be drawing so much Asha and Frey content. they are best friends in my mind

[lovely-blue-galaxy]

@insertsickusername13​ ‘s prompt for some time ago, I think it was something along the lines of “Christine and Jeremy at prom with Christine in a beautiful dress and Jeremy in hawaiian shirt”

[youre-responsible-not-us]

Transforming a random study into Steban, the Student Communist

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I thought of one more thing for god of storms and Gai!

What if this Gai is the first of his lifetimes to actually propose a challenge to Kakashi, as the God of Storms.

Being a thief/eco terrorist/leader of a rebellion has made this version of him a little more bold than usual. And maybe at some point he has a talk at Yamato, who lets it slip, maybe in an off brand remark about Kakashi searching for immortality.

And Gai's like "why would a god need immortality?"

And Yamato's just like "...You forget you heard that! Stop it. Forget now! Whatever dumb idea you are about to get you stop thinking it right now!"

But forget he can not. And he IS a very good thief... and he is VERY much attracted to Kakashi so he sort of comes up with a brilliant/dumb idea and climbs a tree during a storm at some point to propose a challenge to Kakashi. A race of sorts!

He would like to race him to finding immortality.

Because if he wins he would happily present it to him... over a first date!

And if he loses well... he'll probably be dead but in the case he's is not, he'll quit thievery to become a monk or something to fully focus on preserving Yamato's forest.

"What do you say, Kakashi?"

(He has no idea that he immortality is for him. He just really would like a date with this very attractive man/god he rarely gets to see and this is the best idea he could come up with.)

Kakashi sitting at his lake hearing this ridiculous challenge and smiling to himself because this sounds exactly like something Gai would joke about doing, but this Gai is seriouse

He’s going to the library the next day to start looking through books, which is hard to do since you know, he’s a wanted man XD but he managed to sneak away with a few books thanks to a helpful librarian and starts reading them in the forest

And there’s so many myths and stories about immortality

You have the snake who ate the fruit that was meant to make a mortal immortal (gilgamesh)

You have the fountain of youth

There’s at least one waterfall that people say can make a person immortal

Then of course there’s the ‘favour of the gods’ but Gai figures that one’s impossible since if it was possible Kakashi would just… do that (he doesn’t realize all the gods have to agree to do this and that’s damn near impossible. For a single god to do it without at least half the gods backing them up could lead to some major problems (*cough* war of the gods over the one mortal that Orochimaru gave immortality to (Kabuto) that almost lead to the destruction of f***ing everything)

[nixariel]

#just some parallels about people who waited for Dream without knowing if he will return via beaulesbian

Had they so little faith in me?

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[krysmcscience]

At long last: either an alternate explanation for or continuation of my prior comic regarding how Bill was ABSOLUTELY naked in Ford's karaoke night drawing. (Because errors in art do not exist. Artists do not make mistakes. So if you see any in this comic, No You Do Not.)

I am so normal about these old dorks.

I'm not really clear on exactly when Bill started throwing his desperation book at Ford just like a needy ex do, but I find it extremely funny to imagine it happening literally the day of or after the makeshift funeral. Bill just gets this weird sense of 'Ford is taking steps to move on' and CANNOT FUCKING ABIDE.

I hope you enjoy all the goofy things I added to each page of Bill's sad spieling. (Everything SHOULD be readable so long as you view the full size, but I have added basically this whole little fanfic in the image descriptions, LMAO, which lays out all the little written notes and such.) Also don't ask how Bill managed to sneak that vampire pen in there. I have no idea, and honestly? I don't wanna know.

Oh, and a little bonus comic:

Of course Bill would take it as flirting. Because between the two of them, Bill is the bigger masochist By Far. :)

Also I have continued applying The Good Place logic to any of Bill's attempts to swear. Case in point, one last bonus image, this time with a motivational line from my slapdash Theraprism OC, EV-01:

Yes, its name is just 'love' backwards. No, I will not be taking any feedback on this. Yes, EV-01 was only ever assigned to Bill's case due to the Theraprism being desperate to make some progress in rehabilitating him. No, it did not work anywhere close to staff's expectations - Bill didn't even appreciate EV-01's matching fondness for bowties! (He claimed the fondness to be "cultural appropriation" and insisted he'd been traumatized by it.)

Anyway, if you like my stuff, reblogs are very much appreciated, and if you really really like it, perhaps consider my commissions or yeeting a teeny tiny tip my way? I am trying to recoup over 500 dollars in vet bills, ahaha... 🙃

In other news, I loved all the fun tags people added to the prior naked-karaoke comic (such as 'the hat and bow-tie stay ON during sex' and the classic '[insert keysmash here]', as well as the many amused/bewildered remarks about how I either made the bricks a piece of clothing or just straight up peeled Bill's skin off). However, I think my favorite thing by far was the several people losing their shit over the fact that I gave Bill toes. Like, excuse me? The magical talking triangle can have fingers but not toes??? Since when was that a rule????? 🤣 (Also the one person who reblogged with the cropped panel where Bill's fishnets pants are falling off to ask why Bill peed himself. Dude, I want to examine your brain...?)

Okie-dokie, I'm sick of looking at all of this stuff now and I'm off to go to work, after which I will either scribble some more goofy "Billford" comics or perhaps draw my lame human!Bill in Situations, idk yet. Maybe I'll even finally draw more than just a single other person's human!Bill...? Who knows, but I sure hope I can mix it up a little and not turn whatever I draw into a month-long fukken project. >:\

[monstersholygrail]

I know that dominating and intimidating monsters with a nice little sarcastic streak are hot and all, we love them and wanna fuck them, but can I also get some nerd monsters?

Like I just want a little nerd. I also want monsters who are just total dorks over their special interests and they share that with you in their own excitable ways.

Minotaur bf who’s a total dork over puzzles and games. You’ll come out into the living room at midnight, seeing the bed was empty, and you’ll find him sitting under the singular light of the dining table. Totally hunched over his almost finished puzzle that he started earlier that day. Then during game nights he’s an absolute best. You swear he’s the most competitive monster you’ve ever met. Winning round after round, chasing that high until he finally snaps and throws the board game off the table and you on it so he can celebrate his victory properly.

Orc bf who’s a fanatic about collecting weapons. He has all sorts of antique guns and swords. Many that you don’t even remember the name of and yet you can recite its entire history bc your bf will drone on and on about it. Whenever he gets a new weapon he gives you an entire tour of his collection room, showing you how he’s moved everything around to highlight his new weapon. You can’t help but find him painstakingly hot as he handles it and you make your interest known to him. His eyes darken, catching onto your meaning and suddenly you’ve replaced the weapon on the platform but he quickly returns it to its place as he fucks you with the handle, rambling about its many uses.

Dragon bf who’s hyperfixated on the quality of jewels and gold. He’s studied the art of jewelry making and blacksmithing. He can tell you the grade of a diamond just by glance, not even needing equipment to check. He loves to combine his two favorite things the most. You and the rest of his treasures. Adorning you with only his finest jewels and nothing else. Liking most how they barely cover anything up yet make your body shine like the angel you are. He almost can’t help himself as he throws you down onto his hoard and ruts into you, watching the jewels sway and bounce on your delectable body.

Werewolf bf who’s a complete gym bro and knows everything there is to know about fitness. He knows the perfect forms to every exercise you could think of, he’s memorized all the benefits to each individual piece of equipment, and he can tell you how best to maximize your time in the gym. Not that he ever would, respecting your level of interest or disinterest in the gym. He knows it’s more his thing and he’s happy you simply coming along with him to use the sauna for members only… and their guests. He loves the burn and the freedom of the run as he works out and releases that energy. But what he loves more is coming into the empty sauna after he’s done and making you both work up a real sweat as he takes you on the bench, the wet squelch of your joining bodies echoing off the walls.