#these two are going to rot my teeth
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i-dare-say · 3 months ago
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I'm finally able to write my fic again! God, the ao3 author curse is real.
And why do I want cool things to happen but these two motherfuckers are just talking??
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goldkirk · 1 month ago
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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ibetittering · 7 months ago
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Went to the dentist guess who has 9 FUCKING CAVITIES 😭😭😭
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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nothing like a call from your mother to make that escapism feel extra sweet
#oops vent post Look Away Look Away i am once again bleeding all over my blog#ohhhhh boy am i gonna get Creatively Active tonight#we love to see my living situation crash and burn oh boy oh boy#i get three more months and then!!! back into the fire i go!#and the frying pan was just starting to get cozy....#well! time to brush up on my masking and acting skills#absolutely unprompted#yknow it was actually funny#i went on a walk right after that call#and it felt like i was in a fucking movie. symbolism was ever#literally stood and stared at the 'no connection' street sign for a solid two minutes#feeling the Irony#then a black cat stopped and stared at me from down the road?#and a hummingbird flew over to look me in the eye??#walked under an apple tree but every single apple was rotting???#a fly decided to land on me for a split second and then flew away? felt Ominous#didnt see a raven though so thats a plus. or a minus. im not superstitious and i love ravens#plus side of being forced to move: i get to keep both of my cats and ill no longer be in this damn state.#negatives: living with my mom. her boyfriend. two dogs. in a state i strongly dislike. with no positive connections. in a basement.#its gonna be so fun! (sarcastic. lying. said through gritted teeth)#agh sorry sorry#once again treating tumblr like my personal diary#just. sigh.#well if i get a job right away and save up#maybe ill be able to find somewhere with roommates!#people my ageish! fellow queers perhaps! somewhere welcoming#where i can relax and feel Understood and perhaps even content with being alive#where i have room to not just force the love of existence but truly Feel it#i have hope! i have hope... i am miserable but one day! i may not be!#ive waited and survived this long! ill make it! i will fucking make it i swear to god
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jargyles · 8 months ago
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jonathan/eddie makes me so sick (POSITIVE!) because in the magical fantastical self indulgent world i have created in my brain in which they were in each others periphery since childhood and only really got close in the background while things were getting tense in jonathan's life is something that can be SO personal. eddie has to move in with wayne after middle school? jonathan finds his way to his new trailer whenever he can, it's muscle memory by the time he comes back to hawkins. lonnie fucks off from the byers? jonathan and eddie spend the night near castle byers writing a list of all the bands they're gonna see when they gain more independence. eddie loiters around the photography club (never participates or engages, just lurks) when jonathan moves to california. that kinda stuff
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sunnyrosewritesstuff · 1 year ago
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There can never be too many Bagginshield treats!! Thank you @mordellestories for the ask!
Picnics and Laughter
Pairing: Bagginshield
Type of Treat: Sweet, Romantic
Word Count: 532
“Amrâlimê (my love), I really do have a lot of work to get back to…”
“No, you don’t. I had Balin clear your schedule. Now join me in enjoying these delicious meat pies and berry tarts.” Bilbo declared, patting the ground beside him.
Thorin huffed and shook his head, but did as his husband bid. He knew they had been after him to take a break for awhile, even getting his sister and nephews involved. There’s just been so much to do now that he’s actually managed to fully reclaim Erebor. Even his wedding hadn’t been a large affair. Just vows in front of the Company and a feast to follow. Of course, Bilbo assured him multiple times that he preferred it that way. What he didn’t prefer was only seeing his husband hours after he had already put himself to bed.
So Bilbo put together a picnic for him. Choosing a spot on the mountainside within an hour’s walk of the gate so they remained close, but not too close to be bothered. They sat quietly, munching on their treats that Thorin had no doubt were a product of Bombur and Bilbo’s tag team in the kitchen. All a part of his husband’s plans to make him fat as a hobbit, he was certain. Bilbo ended up being the first one to break the serenity after finishing his fifth treat.
“I was thinking we should go on holiday. Maybe back to the Shire to check on Bag End? Or some place new! Like Gondor.”
“Gondor?” Thorin raised an eyebrow. “You can barely stomach an afternoon in Dale. What makes you think you can handle an entire city of men?”
Bilbo shoved at his shoulder. “I was just thinking aloud! Goodness knows I can’t go to any dwarven kingdoms now with all the ridiculous titles you’ve bestowed upon me.”
“I believe some would call that an honor, malkânê (my hobbit).” Thorin scoffed, poking him in the side.
Bilbo slapped Thorin’s hand away, making the dwarf smirk at the challenge. 
“Thorin…no, no, don’t you dare…”
Thorin had the hobbit tackled, tickling his sides relentlessly. Howling in laughter, Bilbo tried to push him away and make his escape, but Thorin pulled him right back in. Somehow Bilbo’s giant hobbit feet got involved, knocking Thorin off balance. He quickly grabbed onto Bilbo as he rolled on his back, and continued down the hill. The two of them rolled through the grass, laughing and acting like they were half their age before coming to rest at the bottom of the hill, Thorin still on top. Bilbo pouted at him, so Thorin had to kiss it away.
“I think the Shire would make a wonderful trip.” Thorin stated after a moment.
“Well it’s that or Lothlorien.” Bilbo offered up far too innocently.
Thorin quickly corrected that with another tickle attack. Rolling over to the side, Thorin propped himself up to face Bilbo who mimicked the action. 
“Honestly, anywhere in Middle Earth is fine. So long as I’m with you.”
Thorin felt like he was beaming with light as he leaned over to kiss Bilbo again. Maybe a small holiday wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Trick or treat my inbox.
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saint-nevermore · 4 months ago
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ohhhh universal credit is a scam. shame it took me until now to realise. i work extremely part time (6 hours per week, weekend job) and that was enough to bring my UC payment down to £109. A month. and my mom expects £100 from me per month, out of my UC, because i used to get £270. suddenly, i can afford absolutely nothing. on top of the passport office fucking me over withdrawing the application without telling me that is a genuinely horrifying amount of money the government lovingly robbed from me in a short span of time. my head is spinning
do not paypal me right now since i had to declare my paypal's statements and im genuinely fucking terrified of what they're gonna do with that lmfao
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bat-the-misfit · 2 years ago
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man they cancelled my dentist appointment AGAIN how i wish i had money to not depend on these free health care pieces of shit
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dragoncarrion · 2 years ago
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I DONT WANNA GO TO [redacted city] I DONT WANNA GO TO [redacted city]
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readymades2002 · 5 months ago
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it's spoiled to be upset but i really really am upset about that overdraft last week
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thaliatimsh · 10 months ago
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Sent the local health board an email asking to be put on the nhs dental waiting list and realised as I got a reply saying "we are not accepting new patients" that I had already emailed them two years ago and got the same reply. I'd just forgotten and assumed i hadnt bothered sending the email. What about my fucking TEETH
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cinnamorollcrybaby · 2 months ago
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Career Day
Tags: teeth rotting fluff, crack, jjk men as dads / fem!reader
An: Your child comes home and says tomorrow is career day at their school. They want to bring you and their daddy to school to show off how cool you two are, but.. their dad doesn’t exactly have the most conventional job.
SATORU • SUGURU • TOJI • SUKUNA
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SATORU
“My daddy is the strongest!” Your son explains to a room full of his peers. Satoru is proudly beaming next to him. You note how much they look alike. The white hair, the bright blue eyes. Your son looks like he came straight from Satoru and had nothing to do with you.
But your son, Aoi, definitely had your personality.
“Nuh uh. He can’t be the strongest. Superman’s the strongest!” Another kid protested with an unconvinced frown.
“Well, my daddy is like superman!” Aoi retorts, keeping his headstrong personality like his mama. “Actually, he’s even better than superman!”
“He’s not even wearing a suit!” A different child speaks up. You share a nervous glance with Satoru. He’s enjoying this all too much.
“He doesn’t need a suit to be the strongest, dumbass!” Your sweet boy yells, and you promptly cover his mouth. Satoru is laughing his ass off, making the entire situation worse.
Correction, Aoi trying out his dad’s signature hand signal and saying “domain expansion” made the entire situation so much worse.
“You’re grounded, Aoi. You can’t say those things to other people. It’s rude and hurtful.” You say as you and Satoru walk your young boy home. Aoi lets out a small frustrated groan.
“I’m still getting him ice cream.” Satoru interjects with a proud smile. “My boy tried to cast his first domain at just six-years-old. He deserves a sweet treat.” Two wide smiles look up at you, and you realize you’re outnumbered here. Rolling your eyes, you nudge Satoru.
“I want a girl next.”
SUGURU
Mimiko and Nanako begged Suguru to come to their school’s career day. He was of course hesitant to do so, given that Jujutsu sorcery was still a hidden art in Japan. He didn’t exactly know how to explain his career to a bunch of kids.
He had a plan though. He would just tell the children that he was a preacher at a church. It’s not… completely a lie. He was a leader for.. a type of church.
You and Geto walk into the cozy looking classroom and see a load of other parents there. Your husband grimaced at the thought of having to interact with all these… people.
You give Suguru a reassuring squeeze of the hand. “It’ll be okay. Anything for the girls, right?” You whisper into his ear, making him nod. Anything for the girls.
When it’s finally Mimiko and Nanako’s turn to explain what their daddy does for a living, your small family gathers at the front of the classroom. Plenty of small innocent faces and reassuring smiles fill the room.
“Okay girls, tell us what your parents do for a living.” Their teacher prompts with a warm smile.
“My daddy swallows balls for a living!” Nanako says proudly with a beaming smile.
The kids erupted into laughter while their parents gave you two disgusted looks.
To make matters worse, “He also hates filthy mo-“ Mimiko tries to add on, but Geto quickly covers her mouth with his hand.
After explaining what a vivid imagination your twins have, you go on to explain that Geto is a leader at a church, and well, that doesn’t go over too well either.
“Homeschool?” Geto suggests as the four of you walk home.
“Most definitely.” You agree. Mimiko and Nanako are now educated by you at the home, where they can’t out their dad for swallowing balls.
TOJI
“Mama, make papa come to career day.” Your young son, Megumi, demanded. He had a small little pout on his face, and his arms were firmly crossed over his chest. Behind him, Toji stood, shaking his head at his son’s determination.
He often did this: telling you to make Toji do something because you were the only person who could make Toji do anything. After all these years, mans was still wrapped around your finger.
“Baby, Papa’s job is kinda private.” You explain quietly as you pet Megumi’s soft hair.
The small boy’s look of determination shifted to a look of reserve. Even as a young child, he wasn’t great at showing when his feelings were hurt, but you could always tell.
“Gumi.” You say his name softly, bending over to look at the boy’s flat expression.
You were also the only one who could coax Megumi into showing his real emotions.
Tears welled in his eyes, and his bottom lip started quivering. “I don’t wanna be the only one whose parents didn’t come.”
“Oh baby.” You frown as you pull your son into a hug. You glare upwards at Toji, and his eyes widened slightly. He knew what that look meant. “You’re going to career day.” You say to him, leaving no room for argument.
The next day,
“Okay Mr. Fushiguro, what do you do for a living?” The teacher asks Toji as he’s sat next to Megumi. Your son is actually smiling, enjoying the fact that Toji actually came to career day.
“People pay me a large sum of money, and I take care of someone for them.” Toji explains vaguely.
“Oh! Like a doctor?” One of the kids asked with an impressed smile.
“Sure, like a doctor.” Your husband lies, knowing that he does quite the opposite of what a doctor does.
SUKUNA
The look on the kids faces as your tall, muscular, tatted husband walked into the classroom was hilarious. Most of them were completely mortified, giving Sukuna frightened stares.
Your husband was completely unfazed. If anything, he was soaking in the kids’ fear. He sat at the front of the room with a look of arrogance.
Your nephew, Yuji, sat between you two. No, he was technically not your kid, but he didn’t have anyone else to bring to career day. So, Unc Sukuna and Auntie Yn were to the rescue.
“And.. what do you do for work, sir?” The teacher asked in almost a judgmental tone as she eyed Sukuna. You couldn’t tell if she despised him or wanted to fuck him.
“I don’t work. I live off tithe.” Sukuna bluntly answered with a shrug. His lopsided smile never left his face.
“What’s a tithe?” A small child asked quietly.
“It means people pay me out of fear of that I’ll harm them if they don’t.” Your husband gives a child a sharp stare with a challenging smile. He wanted the kids to keep asking questions. The thought of scaring multiple children all at once fueled him.
“Like… beat them up?” Another child asked.
“Like eating their snot-nosed children.” Sukuna answered with a toothy grin. The children all shrieked and cried in terror. Hell, even their parents looked frightened.
“Ryomen.” You chide as you look over towards your husband. He was laughing maniacally, even slapping his knee like the old man he was.
Yuji never invited you two to another career day.
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spider-stark · 5 months ago
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SWORN RIVALS
Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!Reader
Summary - Taking up sparring with your sworn rival is likely never a good idea.
Warnings - barely edited, blood, implied fighting, suggestive language but no real smut, likely ooc given that the episode hasn't even aired yet lmao
Word Count - 1.1k
!MINORS DNI!
// masterlist // send me your thoughts // comments & reblogs appreciated! //
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Pain splinters throughout your hand as your knuckles collide with his jaw. He stumbles backwards—just barely managing to keep himself from falling right onto his ass. 
“You fight like a girl,” you jeer, purposefully antagonizing him. “Though I suppose that’s to be expected of a Blackwood.” 
A raspy laugh rumbles through Benjicot Blackwood’s chest—a bitter, deep sound that sets your toes curling. 
“You’ve got quite a mouth on you.” Forcing his chin high, he flashes his crimson-stained teeth in a wry grin, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. He muses, “But perhaps we should put it to better use, don’t you think?” 
You cut your eyes at the bawdy implication. “You’re disgusting, Ben.” 
Another chuckle as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, inadvertently smearing blood along his bottom lip. The sight is entrancing—in a morbid sort of way. It glistens like pomegranate juice and, for a mere breath, you wonder if it would taste half as sweet. 
“C’mon!” Ben’s teasing tone slices through your thoughts, forcing some sense back into you. “Don’t act like you’ve never thought of it before,” he says, waving a hand between you both, “the two of us–” 
You don’t let him finish his sentence, cutting him off with a sharp glare. “I haven’t,” you practically snarl, taking a half-step towards him. “And you shouldn’t either,” you add, “I’d much prefer to be left out of your…" you blow out an exasperated breath, "depraved fantasies!” 
“Oh, but you are my depraved fantasies, sweetheart.” Ben’s grin widens as you groan, shaking your head at him. “You're also a liar, Bracken,” he adds, “and a shitty one, at that!” 
“You can believe whatever you want, Blackwood—but that won't make it true.” 
“Just admit it,” he continues. Swinging one foot forward, he takes a lazy step towards you—then another. “That’s why you train with me, isn’t it? ‘Cause you’re so desperate for someone to put you in your place—and none of those pansies along the Red Fork are fit for the task, are they?” 
You grit your teeth, knowing that his words aren’t entirely false. 
Training with Ben hadn’t necessarily been a purposeful decision. It was something that just sort of happened. Yet, in spite of the rivalry between your families, you’re willing to admit that you do prefer training with him over the Tully or Roote boys. 
He fought you like a true opponent—unlike the others, who felt the need to pull their punches or slow their own strikes, forever treating you like a helpless maiden rather than an equal. 
In many ways, you found Ben to be more tolerable than any other boy in the Riverlands, anyway. He was fierce and tough and undeniably skilled with both blade and fists, making him your ideal sparring partner. 
You still despise him, though—if only because that is what’s expected of you by your father, the Head of House Bracken. 
“Big talk from the boy who hasn’t gotten a single hit in today,” you smugly remind him. “Perhaps if you spent as much time training as you do thinking with your cock, you might actually stand a chance at victory, Benji.” 
Less than a foot-or-so of space separates the two of you when he finally stops, his grin souring like rotted fruit. 
“Don’t call me that,” he chides, his bottom lip jutting slightly. Your brow furrows, trying to discern if he’s pouting or if it’s simply swelling from when you hit him. “Besides,” Ben continues, “have you ever considered that maybe I’m just going easy on you?” 
You don’t buy his weak attempt at goading you—though you do entertain it, asking, “And why would you do that?” 
His shoulder lifts into a languid shrug. “Maybe I like it when you push me around,” he drawls, teasing. 
Another step and he’s towering over you, his chest mere inches from yours. His scent—a blend of leather and rich sandalwood—floods your nostrils, stirring your senses and leaving you dizzy. 
“Although,” Ben’s smirk returns, laden with his usual mischief, “I think I’d like you even more if you were on your knees-” 
A scoff rips from your throat, cutting him off with a rough swat to his chest. “Oh, go fuck yourself, Blackwood!” 
“Only if you’ll watch, Bracken,” he croons, mocking you. 
Every inch of your body is suddenly humming to life, an unrelenting blaze of rage—or was it desire?—setting your nerves alight. Before you can muster a response, a comeback, his fingers have closed around one of your wrists. 
“Go on,” Ben murmurs, his voice tantalizingly low. Your breath hitches as he presses your hand to his chest, feeling his pulse beat beneath your palm. “Hit me,” he dares, louder now. “Push me.” 
You don’t speak—don’t move, as those storm-cloud eyes dip once again. “Fucking do it—” 
You cut him off, fingers curling around the scarlet fabric of his tunic—you should kill him for being so crude, for acting so utterly lascivious! 
And yet, despite all logic and reason, you tug him closer. Pulling him down to your level in one swift motion, crashing your lips together in a kiss that is anything but soft. 
On instinct, your other hand slips to the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in soft, brown hair. You feel his heartbeat stutter beneath your fist, still gripping his tunic. For no more than a breath, you worry you’ve fucked this whole thing up. 
This is wrong! You scream at yourself. Wrong wrong wrong! 
But then he moves—hooking an arm around your waist, his nails sinking into your hip in an effort to bring you closer—and you loathe just how right this feels. 
Your legs tremble as his tongue slides along your lower lip, a soft moan spilling into his mouth. You feel him grin against you—can taste the blood on his lips, the bitter sweetness dancing on your tongue as he utters, “Eager, are we?” 
Tightening your grip on his hair, he hiss slips from his teeth. “Shut up.” 
He obliges—his mouth drifting from your lips to your jaw, leaving a bloody trail of kisses in his wake. You try not to think as he finally reaches your neck, earning a soft whine as he nips at your flesh. You try to forget who he is—that you’re supposed to hate him—as he shoves his leg between yours, offering you the very friction you so desperately desired. 
“This changes nothing, Benji,” you pant. 
He bristles at the nickname, letting his teeth sink deeper into your flesh, a deep bruise already blooming along your neck. “Sure." His own breathing is frantic and uneven as he rasps, “Whatever you say..” 
Your hand falls from his chest to his breeches, fingers already fumbling with the laces when you choke out, “I still think you’re disgusting, Blackwood.”
His own touch disappears beneath your tunic, fingertips trailing along every inch of your skin until his palms finally skim along your bare breasts. He gives one a rough squeeze before flashing that stupid, bloody grin of his. 
“And you’re still a liar, Bracken.”
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a/n - writing fan fic for a character that hasn't even appeared on screen yet is wild. (hbo, this better be bloody ben or else I'll riot because this is perfect casting). anyway, I don't wanna be held accountable for how terrible, short, and rushed this is (I was bored and didn't feel like putting more effort into this than necessary rn) OR how wildly ooc this will likely prove to be come Sunday.
also---turns out that writing without actually knowing the character is hard! who'd have thunk, am I right?
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gutsby · 5 months ago
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My Body, His Choice
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Summary: After a long day, Joel just needs some relief.
Warnings: 18+. Come get y’all juice (consensual freeuse). Unprotected p-in-v. Praise kink. Daddy kink. She/her pussy pronouns. Perverted but ever-respectful Joel.
Note: ‘Púdrete’ means ‘rot’ or ‘fuck you�� in Spanish.
Word count: 2.9k
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It wasn’t often he’d fuck you anywhere but his bed.
At fifty-two, Joel was still old fashioned like that.
No matter how hard you tugged on the front of his shirt, begged him gently, baby, please take me right here on the kitchen table—on your desk—in your truck—really anyplace, Joel would shake his head and tote you away to his room. Then he’d blow your back out on a plush and cushy king-sized bed exactly how a gentleman should.
“Wasn’t raised to treat a lady any different,” he’d always say, sucking a breath through his teeth as he plunged his cock inside you from the comfort and quiet of his sheets.
‘Whatever you say, old man’ was your habitual response.
It was one that more often than not ended with you walking funny for the next couple days, thanks to that twenty-something stamina Joel was still able to boast.
So, with sore legs and a warm load leaking out of your cunt every night, you shut up. You didn’t mind being confined to his bed if it meant getting fucked like that. But you would let him know, every now and again or as often as you happened to be ovulating, that there was a freestanding offer for him to just…take, if he ever felt so inclined. The first time you’d said the real word for it, Joel had just smiled and kissed you on the top of your head.
“I’ll sure keep that in mind, sweet pea,” he’d chuckled.
Or, in boomer-speak: ‘No way in hell am I doing that.’
You’d made your peace with it. You’d quit wearing open-gusset undies in the hopes of getting bent over the sink while doing the dishes on a random Tuesday afternoon. You’d put all thoughts of freeuse out of your head and now just waited patiently under the covers at night if you wanted some action on the go. That was more than okay.
And when Joel thundered through the door an hour late one night, you just offered up a smile and a sleepy wave.
“Hi, handsome.”
You were splayed out comfortably on the sofa, and your favorite show was playing in a dim, muted glow on TV. Joel toed off his boots and ducked his head in the closet.
“I said he-llo, you big hunk.”
You regularly alternated between handsome, hunk, and some form of baby or beefcake if he appeared extra large that day. You hadn’t gotten a good look at his form coming in, but you figured you’d give it a stab, shoveling more popcorn in your mouth before returning to Narcos.
Somewhat garbled: “Well hello to you too, babycakes.”
It was either going to piss him off or earn you a big, wet kiss on the cheek—or both, if you were lucky. The words had scarcely hung in the air for more than a second or two, and your popcorn was going down in one slow, crowded gulp, when something fell heavy at your feet.
Your legs were stretched as far as they would go to the end of the couch, and Joel had just dropped his weight right next to them. Then he was leaning back, gingerly.
Carefully.
Joel groaned.
“God, he looks stupid,” he said, staring straight ahead.
You coughed. You winced at a sharp, lone kernel that had snagged your throat going down, and when it passed, you sat up and glanced over to where Joel was looking.
All you saw was a sexy, if not slightly anachronistically-mustached man with tight pants and a slutty stance onscreen.
“Javier Peña?” you asked him.
The man’s nostrils flared in response.
“With that stupid fuckin’ Members Only jacket— dumbass aviators, too, he looks like the biggest dou—”
“Joel!”
You blinked at your boyfriend in disbelief. He knew better than to abuse your favorite DEA agent right to your face. At last, Joel met your gaze, and his cheeks tinged pink.
“What? You wanna fuck him or something?” he snapped.
You turned back to the TV and pretended to consider.
“Hmmm…I don’t know, would Agent Peña come home an hour late with no explanation and then start griping about another man’s clothes when I try talking to him?”
“Yeah. And he’d probably backtalk you, too. In Spanish.”
“Púdrete.”
Joel scoffed.
“Oh yeah? Fuck me?”
You raised both brows as if to say, ‘Yeah, dude, fuck you.’
Maybe there was a smile behind your eyes as you said it.
You didn’t mean to give in, or let him off so easy, but there was just no grappling with a man in blue jeans and a sweaty, dirt-sodden shirt giving you a look like that.
His eyes smiled back.
You didn’t protest when Joel muscled his way over across the couch and pushed you back on your side. Yanking your hips to lay flush with his front, taking up most of all usable real estate on the sofa just to lie behind you and curl his bicep around your belly. He nosed against you and inhaled deeply. He hummed.
You spooned and watched Narcos in silence.
“Bad day?” you murmured at length.
“Bad don’t even begin to cover it.”
Joel let out a breath, and you felt it migrate through your skull. The whole weight of the world, or, more likely than not, some dipshits at work who’d cost their team a bid or delayed a project by a week, ten, or twenty, was hanging somewhere close over his shoulders and depressing his whole demeanor. His grip on you tightened even more.
“‘M’sorry,” he said.
“Me too.”
Joel’s fingers seared a string of small crescents in your skin through the fabric of your nightie. Realizing he was pressing in too much, he eased back. Flexed his hand.
“Ain’t no need to be—it’s on me.”
You felt a kiss land on your shoulder. Your eyelids fluttered as a scene of chaos broke out onscreen with some ill-fated raid or other, and Joel’s hand traveled up your side. It cupped one of your breasts through the sky-blue satin material, and just as fingers began to knead—
“I don’t actually wanna fuck Javi,” you sputtered, dumb.
Joel kissed the space between your shoulder and neck.
“I figured.”
Then his index and thumb found your hardening bud and pinched it between them, rolling the skin in soft, languid strokes. That, paired with the movement of lips up the length of your neck, had your head lolling back gently and your eyes struggling to focus on any of the mayhem unfolding in time. You wanted to turn away from it all—meet Joel’s mouth with a feverish kiss of your own—but when your torso jerked the slightest bit, trying to move, the arm around your front kept you pinned to the spot. Joel’s grey, stubbled chin tickled the shell of your ear.
“Keep watching, darlin’,” he mumbled.
A low whine sounded in your throat, a noise Joel was no stranger to. It bubbled up, almost reflexively, and then was swallowed back as by force when his left hand shifted from toying with your nipple to joining the hem of your dress. Your breath hitched when you felt the pads of three fingers make an easy, careless sort of petting motion between your legs. Stroking you gently there.
“‘M’sorry I was late comin’ home,” Joel continued in the same attritional vein, gliding his middle finger between where he felt the seam of your folds through your dress, “Makin’ you wait up, wasn’t too kind of me, huh, baby?”
“D-Don’t mind,” you shuddered, just as the tip of his pointer finger found your clit and made a circle around it with the other two—a torturous loop that lacked just enough pressure to make it feel really good, and teased.
You would’ve liked to press on, were it not for him, again:
“Aw, hell, honey.”
Your eyes snapped open, and fear seized you momentarily. Had something gone wrong?
Instead, when you glanced between your legs, you saw a stain—a crude Rorschach-looking splotch in its place. With all rational thought currently suspended and your brain in a primal fog of just wanting to fuck, you groaned.
“Joel, please.”
You know what to do. You know what you’re doing.
Joel continued to carry on as though he hadn’t heard you. He rubbed the wet spot even harder with his middle finger and let out the faintest trace of condescension with his breath, fanning warmly across your cheek. It was as though you could feel his big, stupid mouth forming a grin behind your head that made you purse your lips together and force back a whimper when he pressed.
“Left a real mess missin’ me here,” he chided, voice low, “Poor thing hasn’t been fucked in…what, twelve hours?”
You imagined the spot growing larger, gaining warmth and wetness and slick from the timbre of Joel’s voice alone. Nevermind the fact he was practically smearing it all through your panties, through your dress; you’d be soaking his hand in a puddle if he didn’t let up soon.
“Then fuck it again,” you gritted, hips stirring.
“But you’re so busy watchin’ your new man, I—”
At the last, you bucked pathetically against Joel’s hand.
“Don’t want him, Joel,” you moaned, “I need you.”
With what little strength you had left, you tried to turn your body to face the man behind you. He didn’t let you.
In fact, his hold constricted all the more unforgiving, and his right arm curled around your front from underneath you while his left hand took the plunge beneath your dress, finally. It was as torturous as it was fused with any pleasure, though, as his fingers made a pass through your panties, between your folds, and into your heat with little warning at all. Just a kiss to your cheek and then two thick fingers working inside your cunt all at once. You writhed at the stretch, and Joel nosed you again.
“I said you’re busy, baby,” he shushed, “Keep watchin’.”
Keep watching.
Like that wasn’t the most nonsensical instruction he’d ever given you, with his arm twisted over your front and his face in your hair and his fingers pumping in and out.
In and out.
“Don’t care about the fuckin’ show, Joel,” you keened.
He brushed the heel of his palm against your clit, and you could’ve cried from the sheer influx of pleasure.
“Sure you do, sweet pea, you’ve just been so—”
Joel pressed another kiss to your cheek and kept going.
“—busy, lately, it’s only fair I get to have my way, hm?”
Oh.
Oh.
You hadn’t heard his belt come undone. You were so focused on your own pleasure, and getting it fast, that you hadn’t stopped to consider for a moment whether Joel might be testing his ‘free pass’ after all this time.
And, as if to dispel any doubts, Joel kissed your shoulder.
“C’mon, baby, let me use this pussy how I need to.”
He couldn’t have made your body any more pliant and willing than if your limbs had been made of wax.
It was all happening like a dream, almost too good to be a real, flesh and bones man with his hand in your panties, your man, pulling the fabric aside and making you lie on your side while he tapped the head of himself right there.
The hand that had once been toying with your clit was now lifting your knee, parting your legs to make space for him behind you, just outside of you��sliding his dick back and forth at first while he left trails of kisses down your skin. You could cum from the friction of that alone, the little squelches of his skin on yours and the fact that you weren’t in a bed, for once, and he was doing it now. He was making use of your body and cherishing it whole.
In spite of that gaping chasm between you in strength and size, he was obeisant, in a way. Painstakingly slow.
“This okay, baby? Can daddy fuck you right here?”
Joel pressed the head of his cock right against the weeping ring of muscles, felt it pulse against him, and groaned. He let just the cusp of your folds suck him in, forming the slightest, shallowest ‘o,’ only for him to retreat, moving his dick back up and down your slit.
You’d already cried and told him, yes, yes, you can fuck me there, daddy, please—but Joel was too busy tilting your head back up to the screen. Making you open your eyes and watch the show, loath as you were to focus on anything else but the soft, steady brush of his member.
“Remember, hon, you gotta stay focused,” he said, too sweet, “Chin up and keep those legs spread for daddy.”
They were. You were. Your head was up, just barely, and your eyes were nearly brimming with tears from just how badly you needed him inside you. You whined when he kissed the side of your mouth, but loved it all the same because it made you feel safe where you were. At ease.
Joel held you open for him, the shelf of his belly nudging at the small of your back and only pressing harder as he sank in deeper. It was a sensation that felt almost foreign, the first inches he’d breached, as he filled you from a new angle and held you close, you whimpered.
“Fuck, that pussy stretches out so nice for me,” Joel let out in a groan, “Feels like she’s made just for me, huh?”
At that, you felt a hand pinch both of your cheeks, forcing your mouth in a little pout as you nodded fiercely.
“Y-Yes, daddy, she’s made for you, all for you.”
One inch retreating, three more pushing in. Joel’s breath was hot on your ear again, and you could feel the soft grey tufts of hair on his tummy fold into themselves against your back as he pushed even deeper. His cock parted the insides of your walls and fucked you open like it was nothing at all. Your eyes stayed fastened on the television screen, but, frankly there wasn’t a thing on the LED display that was registering more than a passing thought. You felt the hand on your face squeeze even tighter, then release. Then your head was tilting sideways of its own volition, and your body was not—being moved by Joel’s gentle thrusts now—and your lips somehow met his in a kiss. One of his moans bled into your mouth.
“Look so. damn. pretty. when you’re like this,” he panted, “Never look better than when you’re fucked out on this cock, don’t ya, sweet pea? Nod your head and tell me.”
You nodded. You told him. Or whimpered it, anyway.
It was exactly the same and somehow nothing like you’d felt with him before: a new place, a new position, but then just the way you were letting him have you was a territory left entirely uncharted for you both. He could take, and take, and take, keep fucking you until his old joints gave out, and you were a vessel for that pleasure. Your body was limp; Joel’s frame was imposing and always holding you up, milking from your cunt what he needed and always praising you for how good it felt.
“My pretty girl,” he murmured, words like syrup. Then, each new one punctuated with a thrust as he sped up, “Gonna let daddy cum inside this tight little pussy?”
And, to his shock and yours, the hole he’d been using all this time grew wetter, more slick, then was pulsing with arousal as an influx of pleasure washed over your body—your brain had barely registered his words before the rest of you was making an even bigger mess of it, welcoming Joel deeper each time as your cunt spasmed over again.
Pressed into the sofa with your hips tilted down, now, you didn’t need to supply a verbal answer, just pulling Joel closer and pleading in broken moans to paint you white inside. He, like you, probably couldn’t have kept it from coming out if he tried. His hands were gripping your body, pushing you down with the weight of his grasp and his thrusts and feeling too fucked out to even know how much of himself he was pouring inside you as he came.
But it filled you to the hilt, all the way down his length.
In fact, there was a moment Joel feared he might’ve stuffed you more full of cum than you could take. You’d just barely come down, still moaning and shaking and dripping with more nectar than you’d ever felt before.
Joel tried to wipe the pussydrunk look from his eyes—terrible and greedy and wanting to see what he’d left—and he was just about to pull out to make sure you were alright, when he felt something grip him. On him and around him, pinching his wrist and squeezing his length inside you, you couldn’t help but turn back to face him.
Your eyes were smiling again.
One hand had just started to inch up his arm, kneading the flesh like you needed something from him then too. Only now your gaze was drifting down to the place where your body and his were still joined, and from that look, Joel sensed there had to be a lot of him there—which is why he was shocked when next you said sweetly, softly,
“Can I have a little more, daddy?”
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cregansdingdong · 4 months ago
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ɪꜱ ꜰɪɴᴇ.
Cregan Stark x pregnant!fem!reader | no use of y/n | warnings: pregnancy fluff, the tooth rotting kind <3
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“There you are.”
There he was. Watching from the threshold of their marriage doors—the only separation between their traditional chambers—Cregan gazes over the form of his bare wife, who was enjoying a nice bath in her alcove. His eyes moved slowly, deliberately, taking her in and committing her to his memory like it was the very first time. A sleepy smile graced her perfect face, head leaned back against the edge of the tub. Just barely breaking the surface of the water was her stomach, rounded and taut with his child; her wrist had been resting on it as he entered, a letter held loosely in her hand. “I am.” He murmured, feeling himself relax just at the sight of her, and he crossed the room to sit on the chair by the tub. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better now. Jace wrote to me.” She holds out the small paper to him. Cregan hums at the mention of her brother, and his eyes scan the words on the page, quietly snorting after a few moments of reading—he was as funny as he always was. Nothing new, really, in the letter. He’d mostly asked about how his sister was faring, questions about the pregnancy, and gushing over his coming nuptials to Baela. But it all brought a smile to his wife’s face anyway. Cregan felt guilty sometimes, knowing how far Winterfell was from King’s Landing. She missed her family often, but even more now that she was having a child. “He’s eager to be an uncle.” He muses, handing it back to her. “The second he learns the babe is born, he’ll be outside our quarters pouting.”
“Yes he will.” She laughs and places it off to the side. “Only a few weeks more.” Cregan peers down at her stomach, expression softened now, his hand reaching out to gently pet her bump, fingers caressing the skin. “The water is almost cold.” He notes, a slight chide in his tone. His wife nods along, obviously aware. “Mmhm. The maesters say hot baths aren’t too good for the baby—warm is fine, but it becomes tepid fairly quickly. I’m comfortable though, I promise. Supper was divine. I was craving that stew all day. And grapes, but mostly the stew. I missed you.” A pleased smile lifts the corners of his lips at her soft ramble. He loved hearing her speak—just as much as she liked to prattle his ears blue. “I assure you, wife, I missed you even more. You and our babe. How is she doing?”
“Are you truly still convinced we're going to have a girl?” She muses. Cregan gently splashes her in mock offense, tutting lightly at her teasing. “I know we're having a girl. I can feel it in my bones, wife.” He leans in, pressing a less-than-chaste kiss against her mouth, tongue just barely slivering past her supple lips. She tasted like something sweet. “Cake?” He asks, head tilted even though it wasn't really a question. She grins. “Sara brought the letter up here—and sneaked me some frosted scones from the kitchen. I love your sister.” Cregan rolls his eyes. “I should've known you two would scheme behind my back…and not leave me any. I'm your leige-Lord.” His wife reaches out to pull him in again, not satisfied with the previous kiss, and their mouths clash together nearly with a mutual clack of their teeth. "Get in." She was pulling him down into the jasmine scented water, hands fiercely tugging at the laces of his leather doublet. "This water is so damn cold—" He barely had a moment to remove his boots. "You'll be fine." What Lady Stark wants, she gets.
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
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evnseokz · 2 months ago
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{ ☆ size training with heeseung }
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pairing: soft dom! hee x f. reader
contents: big dick hee! implied first time (with eachother), fingering, overstimulation, squirting, riding, pet names: angel, baby, praise kink if you squint
authors note: heeseung brain rot 😵‍💫 enjoy!! w.c 1k
MINORS DNI
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you were lying on your back, heeseung leaning over top of you. two of his long fingers scissoring your cunt open. “do you think you can take a third baby?” he asks, and you nod slowly. your body shakes in anticipation for the stretch, your lip tucked between your teeth. heeseung slowly adds a third finger into your dripping cunt, and you cry out at the feeling. “f-fuck i feel s-so full.” you breathe out. “yeah baby? just wait till you have my cock inside you,” heeseung replies, voice deep and hungry. he continues to fuck you with his fingers until your body starts to twitch and your stomach begins to tighten. high pitched moans escape your lips as heeseung curls his fingers into you, this action sending you over the edge. your eyes roll to the back of your head as your orgasm rips through you, your whole body shaking. heeseung removes his fingers from you before sitting up and licking them clean. he reaches down to tuck some stray hairs behind your ears. “you did so good for me, angel; you think you’re ready for my cock?” he asks. 
you nod eagerly, and heeseung goes to push you back down, but you stop him. “l-let me try, please.” a blush coats your cheeks as you look up at your boyfriend. heeseung doesn’t argue with you, instead ridding himself of his garments and swapping places with you so you’re able to straddle his lap. your heat resting against his cock, you shudder slightly at the feeling, still sensitive from your orgasm. “just go slow, baby, you got this,” heeseung coos at you. and you smile softly at him before reaching for his cock. you pump him a few times, heeseung wincing at the feeling. you raise your hips up, slightly aligning his cock with your entrance. you knew this wouldn’t be easy seeing as your boyfriend's cock was literally huge; he had length and girth. you knew this would be a struggle, but you craved it so bad.
you slowly push the head of his cock into your soaked cunt, the stretch already feeling quite uncomfortable. “a-ahh” you moan, and reach out to grab heeseungs shoulders. his hands find your hips easily, helping steady you. your head hangs as you try to sink down a little more on him. you’re almost halfway on his cock, and it’s taking everything in heeseung to not thrust up into you right now, your tight cunt squeezing his cock so nicely. “s’too much, hee, y-you’re too big,” you whine, still trying to take more of him. “c’mon baby, you can take it; i know you can.” he says, lightly pushing your hips down, helping you sink further down on his cock. whines are falling past your lips, and heeseung swears he could cum just hearing your sounds. you finally manage to slowly sink all the way down on his cock, a loud moan ripping from your throat as you feel his tip prodding at your cervix. “good girl,” heeseung praises you. “take your time, angel,” he says after, noticing the way you try to move but physically can’t. you lean closer into heeseung, arms wrapping around his neck while his wrap around your waist, holding you close.
“do you want me to move you, baby?” he asks, and you nod, “yes, please.” heeseungs hands fall back to your hips, and he starts to slowly guide you on his cock. your legs shake as his cock stretches you so good, hitting every spot that makes your brain fuzzy. your head is spinning at the pleasure being given to you, and you hear light groans falling from heeseungs mouth too. “fuck you’re taking me so well, angel; your pussy was made for me,” he says huskily. you moan at the praise, jolting slightly when heeseung speeds up his thrusts. the slapping of skin is all that can be heard in the room as heeseung fucks you senseless. you feel that familiar knot in your stomach begin to tighten. “i’m close, hee,” you sigh, and heeseung immediately brings one of his hands down to give your clit attention. the combination being all too much, it immediately sends you over the edge, your body jolting and trembling, but heeseung doesn’t let up as he chases his own high. his thrusts don’t slow; he continues to fuck into your cunt. you cry out, “s’too much, hee! s’too much.” you rake your fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. “hang on for me, baby,” he says, placing a chaste kiss on your cheek. you can already feel a third orgasm approaching from the overstimulation; this one is already feeling stronger than the others.
heeseungs thrusts begin to turn sloppy as his high crashes over him, hips bucking into your cunt repeatedly. the feeling of needing to pee washes over you as you come undone, and the mere intensity of your orgasm pushes heeseungs dick out of you as your juices spray all over him and the sheets. your moans sound literally pornographic as you come undone, falling into your boyfriend's chest immediately after. heeseung holds you close, rubbing soothing circles on your back as you try to calm down. “fuck baby, that was amazing,” heeseung chuckles slightly. you lift your head up from his chest. “d-did i just squirt?” you ask, still trying to wrap your brain around the intensity of your orgasm. and heeseung chuckles at you,
“yeah, baby, you did, and it was fucking perfect.”
.
.
.
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