#these three maybe someday right now I’m just happy with idea

[thebadchoicemachine]

TF2 ARTISTS OF TUMBLR‼️‼️

Want some random bullshit to draw??

DRAW YOUR PET(S) BUT DRESSED AS TF2 MERCS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[lizziesangel]

As someone that does NOT want kids, and seeing no oneshots about it…….I was thinking….Maybe Reader and Rafe have not yet had a discussion about it, as they are pretty early on in their dating (but in love) and her heart breaks when during a conversation (either with her/or her overhearing Rafe) it sounds like he wants them in the future with her. And she feels like she needs to break up with him so he can be happy and get what he wants. Loooooots of angst. But unknown to her, Rafe’s mindset is more ‘’I’ve never wanted kids, but if I was ever gonna have them, it would be with her, SHE makes me want them, but I would never want them with anyone else. It’s with her or no one’’

stop, this is such a beautiful request!! - 7.4k words

the sound of laughter echoed down the hall as you approached sarah’s room. you had stopped by tannyhill to check on her, bringing some homemade cookies since pregnancy had turned her into a snack connoisseur. but as you lifted your hand to knock on her bedroom door, sarah’s voice carried through the partially closed door, halting you in your tracks.

“so, rafe,” sarah’s voice rang out, teasing but curious, “what about you? would you ever want kids?”

you froze. her question caught you completely off guard, and before you could decide whether to knock or retreat, rafe’s voice answered.

“me? kids?” he chuckled, the sound light but contemplative. “i don’t know. i’ve never really thought about it seriously. i mean… the idea...”

“oh, come on,” sarah teased. “really?”

“yeah,” rafe admitted with a laugh. “but, i don’t know.”

“maybe it’s not as terrifying as i used to think.”

“that’s grossly sentimental for you, bro,” john b chimed in, his voice carrying a smirk.

“shut up,” rafe shot back, but there was no real venom in his tone. after a beat, he continued, “i mean, not now. God, no. we’ve still got plenty of time. we’re not that old yet.”

“so, you do think you’d want kids someday?” sarah pressed.

rafe nodded as his voice softened, thoughtful. “i think i might. someday, when things are right. i think i’d want that.”

your stomach twisted painfully at his words. it was the first time you’d ever heard him talk about wanting kids. and the fact that he sounded so… open to the idea? so sure, even if it was distant and vague? your chest tightened, your breath catching in your throat.

“huh,” sarah said after a pause, clearly surprised. “that’s not what i expected you to say.”

“yeah, well,” rafe let out a wry chuckle. “i just never gave it a real thought before.”

“either way, if it happens someday, i’d be okay with it.”

john b whistled low. “never thought i’d hear you say that, dude.”

“guess i’m full of surprises,” rafe quipped.

the three of them laughed, but you couldn’t move. his words were swirling in your mind, sinking in like stones into water, creating ripples of panic that spread through every part of you.

you backed away from the door, clutching the plate of cookies like it was the only thing anchoring you to reality. your thoughts blurred into a dizzying mess as you made your way down the hall, heart pounding in your chest.

rafe wanted kids.

not now, but someday. he wanted a future that included something you’d never imagined for yourself. the realization hit you like a wave, and for the first time since you’d fallen for him, you wondered if love would be enough to hold you both together.

the faint sound of footsteps descending the stairs broke through the quiet hum of the kitchen. you busied yourself with arranging the cookies on a plate, your movements deliberate, careful, as though focusing on the small task would keep your thoughts in check.

“hey, baby,” rafe’s voice came from the doorway, warm and casual. he stepped in, his hair slightly tousled, his expression relaxed. the sight of him sent a pang through your chest, but you forced a small smile and turned toward him.

“hi,” you replied softly, keeping your tone light. “these cookies are for sarah, but take one if you want one.”

he approached, his gaze flickering to you before landing on the plate. “you okay? you didn’t come up to sarah’s room.”

you shrugged, busying yourself with wiping imaginary crumbs off the counter. “i wasn’t feeling great. thought i’d just drop these off and head home.”

his brow furrowed, concern flickering in his eyes. “what’s wrong? anything i can do?”

“you look kinda pale.”

you waved a hand dismissively, stepping back from the counter and crossing your arms tightly over your chest. “i’m fine, just… not feeling great. probably something i ate.” the words felt hollow, but they were enough to deflect.

he frowned, his concern deepening. “anything i can do? want me to get you some water or—?”

“no,” you cut in, the word sharper than you intended. you softened immediately, forcing a small smile. “i’m fine. really. i think i just need to head home and rest.”

rafe stepped closer, his hand brushing your arm, a gentle tether to reality. “you sure?”

“yeah,” you said quickly, looking anywhere but at him. “i’ll be fine. don’t worry about me.”

rafe didn’t seem convinced. he stepped closer, his gaze searching your face. “you sure? i can drive you home if you want.”

you avoided his eyes, turning to rearrange the plate of cookies unnecessarily. “that’s sweet, but i’ll be okay. it’s not a big deal.”

his gaze lingered on you, uncertain, before he nodded. “alright. but if you need anything, just call me, okay?”

you nodded, your smile stretched too thin. “of course.”

rafe leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. the gesture was warm, tender, and it made the ache in your chest intensify. he pulled you into a hug, his arms wrapping around you in that familiar way that always made you feel safe. but tonight, it felt different—like the embrace of someone standing on one side of an invisible divide while you stood on the other.

“get some rest, alright?” he murmured against your hair.

“yeah,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. “i will.”

for a moment, the two of you stood there, the air between you heavy with unsaid words. then you stepped back, putting a little space between you and his earnest concern.

“well, enjoy the cookies,” you said, trying to inject some brightness into your tone. “sarah’s gonna love them, i think.”

rafe’s lips curved into a small smile, though his eyes lingered on you, still laced with worry. “she will. you’re amazing for making them.”

you waved him off with a faint laugh, already heading toward the door. “tell her i said hi.”

“hey,” he called after you, his voice stopping you just as your hand touched the doorknob. when you turned back, his expression was serious, almost hesitant. “take care of yourself, alright?”

your heart twisted, but you forced a steady nod. “i will. see you later, rafe.”

he lingered for a moment, as if sensing something was off, before letting you go. he watched you walk away.

as the door clicked shut behind you, the silence pressed down heavily, and you sank into your car, staring blankly at the street in front of you. the disconnect between your love for him and the path his words upstairs had revealed felt like an unbridgeable chasm.

you sat there for what felt like an eternity, detached from everything except the pounding in your chest and the weight of the questions you didn’t yet know how to answer.

the bathroom was quiet except for the soft hum of your phone speaker, playing a low, calming playlist. the pale light above the mirror cast a warm glow over your face as you leaned in, focusing on the small ritual of doing your makeup. the act was as soothing as it was deliberate—something to keep your hands busy and your mind steady.

you started with foundation, dotting the liquid across your face and blending it out with a damp beauty blender. the repetitive motion was grounding, the soft pat-pat-pat against your skin a reminder to breathe. you took your time, making sure everything looked even, though rafe had never seemed to notice the small imperfections you always fretted over. he’d tell you, you looked beautiful even if you showed up barefaced, hair messy, and wearing sweatpants.

but tonight wasn’t just any night. it was saturday, your night, and for the past five months, it had become a routine you both cherished. rafe would pick you up, dressed to perfection, and take you somewhere special. every week was different—a cozy little café one night, a moonlit stroll on the beach another. and tonight? he’d hinted at something fancy, something that made your chest flutter with excitement.

you reached for your concealer next, dabbing it under your eyes and along the sides of your nose. as you blended it out, your mind wandered. you hadn’t thought about that conversation in a few days, but as always, it came creeping back.

“i think i might. someday.”

rafe’s voice echoed in your mind, soft but resolute. the words had taken root, an unshakable presence that you couldn’t quite ignore. he had sounded so open to the idea of a future you’d never envisioned for yourself. and no matter how much you tried to convince yourself it didn’t matter, it lingered.

you shook your head, focusing on your reflection. not tonight. you weren’t going to let those thoughts ruin what should be a perfect evening.

your blush came next, a warm, rosy hue that you dusted lightly across your cheeks. it brightened your face, giving you a soft glow. you smiled faintly, testing it in the mirror, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. ‘fake it till you make it,’ you told yourself, setting the brush down.

moving on to your eyes, you picked up a neutral-toned palette and traced a soft brown into the crease of your lids, blending carefully. the act of applying eyeshadow always required precision, and for a while, it was all you could think about—whether the colors matched, if they blended smoothly.

when you finished, you reached for your eyeliner, hesitating for a moment. you didn’t always wear it, but tonight felt like an eyeliner kind of night. you traced a thin line along your upper lashes, flicking it out into a small wing at the corners. it wasn’t perfect, but it would do.

lashes were the final touch for your eyes, and you took your time applying it, brushing the wand through your lashes until they were looked full enough. the transformation was subtle but striking, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to feel satisfied.

the last step was your lips. you chose a specific shade, one that complemented your dress without drawing too much attention. as you swiped the color across your lips, you caught your own gaze in the mirror. you looked… good.

stepping back, you assessed the final result. the makeup was understated but elegant, a perfect match for the dress waiting for you on the hanger. you tilted your head, testing a smile. this one felt more real, though there was still a faint unease lurking beneath the surface.

it’s just another saturday. just another date with rafe. stop. overthinking.

grabbing a makeup wipe, you cleaned the edges of the sink and glanced at the time. he’d be here soon. the thought sent a rush of nervous energy through you, the kind that always came just before you saw him.

you leaned in one last time, making sure everything was just right before stepping back. “good enough,” you muttered to yourself, forcing another smile.

the sound of a car horn outside startled you, and you grabbed your purse, giving yourself a final once-over in the mirror. with a deep breath, you turned off the bathroom light and headed for the door, bracing yourself for the night ahead.

the soft hum of the car engine filled the air as rafe drove, one hand resting on the wheel, the other casually draped over the center console. the smell of his cologne—crisp and woodsy—lingered in the small space, grounding you in the moment. he looked over at you, his profile illuminated by the soft glow of the dashboard lights, and smiled.

“still not going to tell me where we’re going?” you asked, your voice teasing as you glanced over at him.

“nope,” he replied with a smirk, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. “you’ll find out soon enough. trust me, it’s worth the suspense.”

you rolled your eyes playfully, but you couldn’t help the small flutter of anticipation that stirred in your chest.

the drive was peaceful, the city lights stretching out around you as the car wove through the streets. you found yourself relaxing into the rhythm of the ride, the faint sound of music playing in the background as you chatted about your week. rafe had a way of making you forget about everything else, his steady presence filling the space with an easy warmth.

“okay, here we are,” he said, pulling into a sleek, modern building with a glowing sign that read le jardin. the valet was already stepping forward as rafe parked, opening your door with a flourish.

you stepped out, your heels clicking against the even pavement, taking in the restaurant’s elegant exterior. tall glass windows gave a glimpse into the softly lit interior, where tables were set with crisp white linens and flickering candles. it was the kind of place you’d never have thought to go on your own—too fancy, too refined. but with rafe beside you, it felt like you belonged.

“you really went all out tonight,” you said, slipping your hand into his as you approached the entrance.

he looked down at you, his grin softening into something warmer. “you deserve it.”

inside, the maître d’ greeted you with a smile, clearly recognizing rafe. he led you to a quiet table near the back, where a single candle flickered in the center of the table. the low hum of conversation filled the air, mingling with the soft strains of a piano playing somewhere in the distance.

rafe pulled out your chair for you before taking his own seat across the table. the intimacy of the setting, combined with the way he looked at you, sent a wave of warmth rushing through you.

“you’ve been here before?” you asked, glancing at the menu, which was printed in both french and english.

“once or twice,” he admitted, leaning back in his chair. “figured you’d like it. plus, i hear the chocolate soufflé is life-changing.”

“is that so?” you asked with a laugh, raising an eyebrow.

“oh, definitely,” he said, his expression serious in a way that was clearly exaggerated. “it’s basically the reason i brought you here.”

you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at your lips. he had a way of making you feel at ease, of turning even the most sophisticated setting into something comfortable and fun.

the waiter appeared, taking your drink orders and explaining the evening’s specials. you let rafe order for both of you, trusting his judgment, and before long, the first course arrived—a beautifully plated dish that looked almost too good to eat.

as the evening went on, the conversation flowed effortlessly. you found yourself laughing at his jokes, your worries melting away with each passing moment. there was something intoxicating about the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the room, his attention unwavering.

when the dessert arrived—a shared chocolate soufflé with a dollop of whipped cream on the side—he scooped up a bite and held it out to you.

“here,” he said, his eyes dancing with amusement. “you’ve gotta try this.”

you leaned forward, taking the offered bite, and your eyes widened as the rich, velvety chocolate melted on your tongue.

“okay, you weren’t kidding,” you said, savoring the taste. “this is amazing.”

“told you,” he said smugly, taking a bite for himself.

by the time the bill arrived, you felt lighter than you had in days, the tension you’d carried with you earlier almost forgotten. rafe reached across the table, his fingers brushing yours as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

“you okay?” he asked, his voice quiet, his gaze searching.

“yeah,” you said softly, meeting his eyes. “i’m good.”

he smiled, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “good.”

as you left the restaurant, his arm slipped around your waist, pulling you close. the cool night air was a stark contrast to the warmth of his touch, and for a moment, everything felt perfect.

but as you climbed back into the car and the city lights blurred past the windows, the memory of his words from that day at tannyhill crept back into your mind. “i think i might. someday.”

you tried to push the thought away, focusing instead on the sound of his voice as he told you a story about something ridiculous sarah had done earlier that week. for now, you would hold onto this—the laughter, the warmth, the way he made you feel like nothing else mattered. even if the future still felt uncertain, tonight, you had him. and that was enough.

the hum of the engine and the gentle rhythm of the tires against the road filled the quiet as rafe drove, his hand resting comfortably on the wheel. the warm night air filtered through the cracked windows, carrying with it the faint scent of salt from the ocean.

it was late—later than you usually stayed out—but neither of you seemed eager for the night to end. you glanced over at him, watching the way the soft glow of the dashboard lights cast shadows across his face. he looked relaxed, one hand loosely gripping the wheel while the other rested on his thigh.

“where are we going?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to disturb the peaceful stillness.

“you’ll see,” he replied, glancing at you with a small smile. “just trust me.”

“i always do,” you said softly, and his smile widened.

the road stretched out before you, empty and quiet, lined with tall palm trees that swayed gently in the warm breeze. above, the sky was a vast expanse of deep indigo, dotted with countless stars that seemed to twinkle just for you. you leaned your head against the window, watching them blur and shimmer as the car rolled along.

rafe reached over and took your hand, his fingers threading through yours with an ease that made your heart flutter. his palm was warm against yours, grounding you in the moment.

“it’s so quiet,” you murmured, looking out at the horizon. the ocean was just barely visible now, a dark, endless expanse that mirrored the sky.

“yeah,” he said, his voice low and thoughtful. “figured we could use some quiet after tonight.”

you smiled, squeezing his hand. “it was perfect, by the way. the restaurant, the soufflé… all of it. thank you.”

he glanced at you briefly, his blue eyes soft. “you don’t have to thank me. i just like seeing you happy.”

your chest tightened at his words, and you looked away, focusing on the stars again. it wasn’t just what he said—it was the way he said it, so matter-of-fact, like your happiness was the most important thing in the world to him.

after a few more minutes, he turned down a narrow, unpaved road that wound through the dunes. the sound of the ocean grew louder, the rhythmic crash of waves filling the night air. he parked the car at the edge of a small clearing and turned off the engine, leaving only the soft chirping of crickets and the distant roar of the sea.

“come on,” he said, stepping out and coming around to open your door.

you took his hand as you stepped out, the sand cool beneath your feet as you took of your heels. the beach stretched out before you, illuminated by the pale light of the moon and stars. the water glittered in the distance, its surface shifting and shimmering with each wave.

“it’s beautiful,” you said, your voice barely audible over the sound of the ocean.

“not as beautiful as you,” rafe quipped, grinning when you rolled your eyes.

he slipped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close as you walked toward the shoreline. the warm breeze carried the scent of salt and seaweed, and the sand was soft and cool beneath your feet. you kicked off your shoes without a second thought, letting your toes sink into it.

rafe led you to a spot where the dunes gave way to a flat stretch of sand, and he sank down, tugging you gently to join him. you sat beside him, your shoulder brushing his, as you both looked up at the stars.

“they’re so bright out here,” you said, tilting your head back.

“yeah,” rafe agreed, his voice quiet. “hard to see them like this back in town.”

Fforr a while, neither of you spoke, content to sit in the stillness. his arm draped around your shoulders, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on your arm. the simple touch sent shivers down your spine, but not from the cold—it was the kind of warmth that came from feeling completely safe, completely at ease.

“what are you thinking about?” he asked eventually, his voice breaking the silence.

you hesitated, unsure how to put it into words. “just… this,” you said finally, gesturing toward the sky. “how big it all is... and how small we are.”

rafe chuckled softly. “getting philosophical on me now?”

“maybe,” you said with a smile. “it’s just… nights like this make me feel like everything’s okay. like it doesn’t matter how messy life gets because this”—you gestured again, to the ocean, the stars, everything—“is always here.”

he was quiet for a moment, then said, “i get that. it’s kind of nice, isn’t it? knowing that some things don’t change.”

you turned to look at him, his face illuminated by the faint glow of the moon. he was already watching you, his expression soft and open in a way that made your heart ache.

“yeah,” you said quietly. “it is.”

without thinking, you leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder. he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his arm tightening around you.

“thanks for bringing me here,” you murmured, your voice muffled against his shirt.

“anytime,” he replied, his voice low and sincere. “i’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

you didn’t respond, but the way your fingers curled around his was answer enough. together, you sat beneath the stars, the waves crashing in the distance, the rest of the world fading away.

that was, until the sound of a sudden snuffling startled you, pulling you out of your thoughts. a dog—a big, floppy-eared golden retriever—trotted past, his nose buried in the sand as he sniffed around curiously. his tail wagged with enthusiasm, sending little puffs of sand into the air.

“charlie!” a woman’s voice called out, tinged with both amusement and exasperation. “get back here!”

you turned toward the sound, spotting a figure approaching in the distance. as the dog made his way over to you and rafe, his owner hurried closer, followed by a man holding the hand of a young child who couldn’t have been older than three.

“i’m so sorry!” the woman said as she reached you, her hand resting on the swell of her pregnant belly. she looked flustered, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “he gets too excited around people.”

“especially when he smells the ocean. i hope he didn’t bother you.”

“no, not at all,” rafe said, grinning as he crouched to scratch behind the dog’s ears. “charlie, huh? he’s a good boy.”

the dog wagged his tail even harder, clearly pleased with the attention.

the woman smiled, her relief evident. “he’s just a bit too enthusiastic sometimes.”

“it’s all good,” rafe said with a warm smile.

the woman laughed, her embarrassment giving way to gratitude. “thank you for being so understanding. it’s been chaos trying to wrangle him and the little one while…” she patted her belly, her voice trailing off.

“when’s the baby due?” rafe asked, his voice filled with genuine interest.

“oh, just a few weeks now,” she said, resting a hand on her belly. “it feels like forever, though. this one’s been much more active than our first.”

her husband laughed, shifting the toddler on his shoulders. “that’s an understatement. i keep telling her it’s because this one’s going to be a soccer player.”

“but, we’re so excited,” his wife replied, taking a hold of her toddler’s hanging hand.

“and you sound proud already,” rafe said with a chuckle.

“of course,” the man replied, beaming. “family’s everything.”

“she’s been amazing through everything. i don’t know how she does it.”

the woman rolled her eyes playfully at her husband but smiled, her expression softening as she looked at her family.

rafe chuckled, straightening up. “congratulations. that’s awesome. you’ve got a beautiful family.”

“thank you,” the man said, clearly glowing with pride. “and good luck to you two someday.”

rafe laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he replied, “yeah, thank you. i can’t wait.”

the words felt like a punch to your stomach. your eyes snapped to rafe, and for a second, the world seemed to stop spinning. time itself seemed to freeze as you watched him.

his face was glowing, his eyes wide and filled with an excitement you hadn’t seen before. they sparkled, brighter than the stars above, his expression open and so unguarded that it took your breath away.

full of something you could only describe as hope.

it was a look so pure, so unburdened, that for a moment, the world seemed to stop spinning. the waves went silent, the stars froze in their constellations, and the night held its breath.

but that feeling in your chest wasn’t warmth or joy—it was a cold, sinking dread.

you couldn’t move. you couldn’t breathe. the sight of him—so happy, so open—sent a sharp pang through your chest, twisting and knotting into something that felt almost unbearable.

the family waved as they turned to leave, the dog bounding along happily beside them. rafe sat beside you, watching them go with a soft smile on his face, his hand slipping into yours.

“that’s the dream, huh?” he said quietly, more to himself than to you. then he turned to you, his smile growing.

“i can’t wait for us to get to that point, you know? when we’re married and starting our own little family.”

his words shattered the fragile calm you’d been clinging to. your chest tightened, and your throat felt like it was closing up. the thought of his dream—the dream you couldn’t seem to picture for yourself.

your stomach flipped violently, a wave of nausea crashing over you as the words sank in. you couldn’t think, couldn’t process. the idyllic vision he painted—the future he clearly dreamed of—it wasn’t yours. And it was becoming painfully clear that it might never be.

suddenly, the stars seemed too bright, the air too thick, and the sand felt like it was swallowing you whole.

“i—” you cut yourself off, swallowing hard. “i think i want to go home.”

he blinked, his brow furrowing slightly. “what? are you okay? did something happen?”

you shook your head quickly, avoiding his eyes. “no, nothing. i just… i don’t feel great.”

“do you want to—”

“no,” you said, a little too sharply. “i just… i need to go home.”

rafe hesitated, clearly concerned, but he nodded. “okay. let’s go.”

the drive back was a quiet one, the kind of silence that wasn’t quite comfortable but wasn’t unbearable either. the hum of the engine and the soft murmur of your playlist from the car speakers filled the void. your phone had connected to rafe’s car the moment he started it, as it always did—a small, automatic reminder of how intertwined your lives had become without you even noticing.

the familiar melodies from your favorite songs drifted through the car, songs you’d once shared with him on a whim, now part of the soundtrack to every drive you took together.

it felt all bittersweet.

rafe glanced at you every so often, his fingers tapping lightly against the steering wheel in time with the music. you kept your gaze fixed on the window, watching the streetlights blur as they passed. the warm glow of the night had given way to the cool, dim quiet of the late hour, and the stars still hung heavy above, visible even through the city lights.

when he pulled into your driveway, he put the car in park but didn’t make a move to turn it off. for a moment, the two of you just sat there, the last strains of a song fading into the next.

“thanks for tonight,” you said softly, finally breaking the silence. “i had a lot of fun… while it lasted.”

his lips quirked into a small, hesitant smile. “i’m glad you did. you looked like you were having a good time.”

“i was,” you admitted, your voice quieter now.

he studied you for a moment, as though trying to decipher the meaning behind your words, before he leaned across the console. his hand reached for yours, his fingers brushing yours gently, and for the first time since leaving the beach, you looked at him.

“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, his voice filled with a concern that made your chest ache.

you nodded, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “yeah. just tired.”

he didn’t look convinced, but he let it go, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. the gesture was so tender, so inherently rafe, that it made the knot in your chest tighten even further.

“let me walk you to your door,” he said, his voice firm yet gentle, leaving no room for argument.

you nodded silently, and the two of you stepped out of the car. the night air was cooler now, the faint sound of crickets filling the quiet as he fell into step beside you. he held your hand loosely as you walked up the path, the familiar warmth of his touch somehow both comforting and overwhelming.

when you reached your door, he turned to face you, his gaze searching yours for something you couldn’t bring yourself to offer.

“goodnight, baby,” he said softly, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek, lingering just long enough for your breath to catch. “text me if you need anything, okay?”

“i will,” you lied, the words barely audible.

you stepped inside, offering him one last fleeting smile before closing the door. through the crack in the curtains, you watched as he stood there for a moment, his hands in his pockets, before finally turning and walking back to his car.

the sight of his taillights disappearing down the street left you standing in the quiet of your home, your heart heavy with the weight of everything left unsaid.

the days that followed your night at the beach were heavy and strange. you found yourself retreating into your thoughts, replaying almost every moment you had with rafe and analyzing it to exhaustion. you hadn’t returned his texts or calls right away, and when you finally did, your responses were clipped and neutral.

he noticed, of course. rafe always noticed. but he didn’t push, at least not at first.

it wasn’t that you didn’t care for him—you did, deeply. that was the problem. you cared too much, and the thought of a future you couldn’t share, one he so clearly dreamed of, felt like an anchor pulling you down. you didn’t want to hurt him, but you couldn’t see a way forward that wouldn’t.

so, after days of avoiding him and mulling over your options, you texted him, asking to meet at the frozen yogurt place you both liked. it was neutral ground, public, somewhere you could speak without the intimacy of his car or your home.

when you arrived, he was already there, sitting at a secluded table in the corner. his smile was warm as he waved you over, but you barely managed one in return.

the froyo place felt colder than usual, even though the warm pastel colors and hum of the machines usually made it inviting. he looked so at ease, one arm draped casually over the back of his chair, a smile spreading across his face the moment he saw you.

“hey,” he greeted, leaning back in his chair as you sat down. “i got here a little early, so i already ordered. figured you’d want your usual.”

“thanks,” you said softly, avoiding his gaze as you fiddled with your bag.

he frowned slightly, but his expression quickly shifted to something lighter as he started talking, filling the space with his voice.

“so, the other day, topper had this brilliant idea—well, okay, not brilliant—but he wanted to see if we could—”

you weren’t really listening. the words blurred together as your thoughts drowned them out. your chest tightened as you worked up the courage to say what you’d been rehearsing in your head for days.

“—but kelce, being kelce, is just standing there filming the whole thing instead of helping. and, of course, he—”

“i think we should break up.”

the words sliced through his story like a blade, abrupt and jagged.

it fell from your lips before you could stop them, your voice flat and abrupt. the sound of them seemed to hang in the air, sharp and irreversible.

rafe stopped mid-sentence, blinking at you like he hadn’t heard right. “what?” he asked, leaning forward slightly, his brows knitting together.

you couldn’t look at him. your gaze stayed fixed on the table, your fingers tracing the edge of your cup. “i think we should break up,” you repeated, quieter this time.

for a moment, he just stared at you, the confusion in his expression giving way to disbelief. “you’re kidding,” he said, a weak laugh escaping his lips. “this is a joke, right?”

his hand fell to the table, “where is this coming from? did i… did i do something wrong?”

you shook your head, your throat tightening as you forced the words out. “i’m serious, rafe.”

“serious?” he echoed, his voice dropping lower. “what are you talking about? where the hell is this coming from?”

“no,” you added quickly, “it’s not you, rafe. it’s just… i don’t think this is working.”

“not working?” he leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “since when? things were fine—great, even! we’ve been great!”

“please don’t make this harder,” you interrupted, your voice cracking.

“harder?” he exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “i think i deserve an explanation at least. if i did something, just tell me, and we can—”

“it’s not you.”

but the words sounded hollow even to your own ears.

“not me?” he repeated, his voice rising slightly. “then what is it? is there someone else? did i do something—God, just tell me what’s going on!”

“it’s not about you!” you snapped, your tone sharper than you intended. the sting of your own words made you wince. “it’s not like that, rafe!” you snapped, your voice cracking as your composure began to slip.

“i just… i can’t do this right now, okay?”

“then what is it?” his voice broke, the raw emotion in it twisting the knife in your chest. “you can’t just say you want to end things without a reason. we’re not kids, and i deserve to know why the hell you’re doing this.”

you opened your mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. every explanation you’d rehearsed felt inadequate, and the weight of his gaze pinned you to the spot.

when the silence stretched too long, his face fell, his blue eyes darkening with hurt. “you’re not even going to try to explain?” he asked, his voice trembling now.

“i can’t do this,” you said, your voice barely audible as you stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor.

“wait, just—” he reached out instinctively, his hand brushing yours, but you pulled away like his touch burned.

“i have to go,” you said, your voice breaking completely.

“don’t do this,” he said, his tone almost pleading now.

“just… don’t go. please.”

but you didn’t look back. you pushed through the door and into the cool evening air, your chest heaving as you tried to breathe past the lump in your throat. his voice called after you, raw and desperate, but you didn’t stop.

you took the long way home, winding through narrow paths and side streets where cars couldn’t follow. the ache in your legs was nothing compared to the hollow, gnawing pain in your chest.

when you finally reached your front door, you collapsed against it, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. his face—confused, hurt, betrayed—was burned into your mind, and the sound of his voice pleading with you echoed in your ears.

you told yourself it was for the best. that someday, he’d understand.

two weeks had passed since that day at the frozen yogurt place. you'd kept to your routine, going to school, trying to pretend like everything was fine. it had never felt more unnatural, avoiding rafe in the halls, ignoring his messages, avoiding his eyes. but it was what you had to do, right? you had to push him away before he got any closer.

but tonight, as you sat in your room, the sound of rain pattering against your window, something felt different.

a knock on the door startled you, and you froze. who would be out there at this hour, especially with the storm raging outside?

when you opened the door, your heart skipped a beat. standing there, drenched from head to toe, was rafe.

his hair was plastered to his forehead, his shirt soaked through, his usual confident posture lost in the slumped shoulders that screamed exhaustion and heartbreak. his breath hitched as he saw you, eyes wide, his lips trembling.

“i couldn’t stay away,” he said, voice hoarse, barely audible over the storm.

you stood frozen for a moment, staring at him in shock. what was he doing here? why was he here? he had made it clear you were done. you’d made it clear.

but seeing him there, in front of you, eyes filled with a desperation you had never seen before, broke something inside you. without thinking, you stepped aside, pulling him in through the door.

“rafe, you’re soaked…” you mumbled, your heart pounding as you led him into the warmth of your living room. his wet clothes left puddles on the floor as you quickly grabbed a towel from the kitchen, your hands trembling slightly as you began to dry his hair.

“i don’t care,” he whispered, almost fiercely, his voice thick with emotion. he stood still, not meeting your gaze, just letting you work in silence.

the tension in the room was thick, but after a long moment, rafe finally spoke again, his voice cracking under the weight of the words.

“i’ve never been so sure of anything in my life… that i want a future with you. i can’t imagine it without you,” he said, his eyes meeting yours now.

“i don’t care what happens in the future, or how hard it gets, i want you. i need you, and i can’t lose you. please, don’t make me lose you.”

your heart ached at the rawness of his words, and you pulled the towel away from his head, your fingers brushing against his skin, still damp and cold.

“rafe,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you led him to the couch, sitting beside him. “i never wanted to hurt you. you mean everything to me.”

he looked at you, his eyes pleading, his voice barely a whisper as he finally broke down. “i thought i had everything figured out, but you… you changed me, for the better. i don’t care about anything else. i just want to be with you, now and forever. you make me see a future i never thought i wanted, and i’m terrified of losing it. losing you.”

you felt your chest tighten, the storm outside reflecting the storm inside you. he was so vulnerable, so open, and it was breaking you.

but the words you needed to say, the reason you broke up with him, had been eating away at you for days, and now, you knew it was time.

“rafe… i… i was—i am scared,” you began, your voice shaky. “i was scared of how much i cared about you, of how much i wanted things to work, but i didn’t think we could. i can’t give you what you want. and i don’t want to hold you back from whatever future you had in mind.”

he reached for your hand, his grip tight and desperate. “what are you talking about? i don’t need anything else. i just need you.”

you looked at him, your heart pounding as the words finally came, spilling out in a rush. “i’m talking about children. the one you were dreaming of. i don’t think i’m ready for that. i don’t think i’ll ever be ready. i don’t want kids.”

rafe blinked, the shock on his face growing as he processed your words, and for a moment, silence filled the room.

then, slowly, his lips parted, and he reached for your hand, pulling it gently toward his chest. his eyes burned with an intensity you couldn’t look away from.

“you’re everything i’ve ever wanted. i’d never want it with anyone else. i don’t care about the future without you,” he said, his voice raw and urgent. “if i can’t have it with you, i don’t want it at all.”

you stared at him, your heart racing. the weight of his words hung in the air, and despite all the doubts you’d had, the walls you’d built, you couldn’t help but feel them start to crumble.

the air between you and rafe hung heavy with unsaid words, the tension thick with the vulnerability you both shared. the storm outside had grown worse, but inside, everything felt still, almost suspended in time. rafe’s gaze never left yours, his grip on your hand firm yet gentle, like he was afraid you’d slip away if he loosened it even for a second.

you couldn’t speak at first, couldn’t find the right words to bridge the gap between what you both felt. the silence was unbearable, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. it was just… raw. vulnerable. everything that had been left unspoken, hanging in the space between you, was finally being acknowledged.

“i’m sorry,” rafe’s voice cracked, breaking the quiet, and you felt your chest tighten at the sincerity in his words. “i should’ve… i should’ve asked what you needed. i should’ve paid more attention to how you were feeling. i was too focused on what i wanted. on the idea of what we could be.”

you shook your head, your thumb brushing gently across the back of his hand. “no, rafe. it wasn’t you, it was me. i was scared of how much i needed you, how much i wanted things to work. i didn’t think i could give you what you wanted… the future you dreamed of.”

“but i don’t want a future without you,” he whispered urgently, his eyes pleading, as if the very idea of being without you was something unbearable. “i don’t care what it looks like. i just want it to be with you. i don’t care about anything else.”

“we could adopt a cat or ten, i don’t care, as long as you’re by my side.”

your breath caught in your throat at his words, and for a moment, it felt like everything inside you had come undone, like the walls you’d built were nothing more than fragile dust in the air. you could see the vulnerability in his eyes, the rawness of everything he was feeling. and it was terrifying. terrifying because it mirrored exactly what you had been trying to avoid.

but you couldn’t avoid it anymore. you couldn’t keep pushing him away when all you wanted was to hold him close.

“baby,” you whispered.

“i’ll never want anyone else. it’s always been you, and it will always be you. i’m not going anywhere.” he said, his voice steady now, his gaze intense as he looked deep into your eyes.

you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes, a mix of relief and pain washing over you. the way he looked at you, with such certainty and devotion, made everything feel like it was falling back into place. the pieces of your heart that had shattered began to slowly piece together again.

he reached for you then, pulling you into his arms, and you let him, burying your face in the warmth of his chest, letting the steady rhythm of his heartbeat calm the chaos inside of you. his arms wrapped around you tightly, almost as if he was afraid to let go, and you clung to him just as desperately.

“i don’t know what to say,” you mumbled against his chest, voice muffled as you tried to hold back your tears. “i didn’t want to hurt you, rafe. i thought if i just ended things, i wouldn’t have to face how much i cared about you.”

“you don’t have to say or do anything,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “just let me hold you, please. let me be here for you. i don’t care about anything else.”

you felt the weight of everything finally start to lift, and in the warmth of his arms, it felt like you could finally breathe again. you pulled back slightly to look at him, his face soft and tired, but there was a softness in his eyes that made your heart flutter.

“i don’t want to be without you, either,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “i was just… scared. scared of what this could mean. scared of how much i needed you.”

“you don’t have to be scared,” rafe said softly, his thumb gently brushing away a tear that had escaped. “i’m not going anywhere. i’ll never leave you. i promise.”

you nodded, finally allowing yourself to relax, feeling his warmth envelop you in a way that made everything seem possible again. the storm outside had finally started to settle, and inside, it felt like the world was starting to right itself.

“i love you, i’m sorry,” you whispered, the words feeling both foreign and familiar as they slipped from your lips.

rafe’s eyes softened, and he smiled, that soft, genuine smile that you loved so much. “i love you too. more than you’ll ever know.”

you both stayed there for a long time, not saying anything, just holding each other, feeling the storm outside fade into the background as the warmth between you two grew.

and for the first time in what felt like forever, you knew that everything was going to be okay.

MASTERLIST

CURRENT TAGLIST⋆⭒˚｡⋆

@maybankslover ⟢ @honeyluvsatj ⟢ @zazidot ⟢ @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 ⟢ @lunaleah ⟢ @maybanksangel ⟢ @wtfdudesblog. ⟢ @niktwazny303. ⟢ @outerbanksloverp4l

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ Once More, With Feeling ♡

♡ Pairing: poly!hyunlix x gn!reader

♡ Genre: fluff/angst

♡ Summary: Unable to sleep after a major argument leads to a breakup, you return to a place that's close to your heart to find comfort and end up with something much more special.

♡ Word Count: 1.4k-ish

♡ Warnings: None.

♡ A/N: I was listening to dreamy low-fi indie music and got in my feelings so, like, come get in them with meeee.

It’s 3:23am and you can’t sleep. Two tablets of melatonin, three cups of chamomile tea, and an endless loop of soothing rain sounds have done nothing to change that. Your heart aches, it’s unbearable, and there’s not a single thing you can do about it. Rolling onto your back, you rip the covers off, only now realizing how much you’ve been sweating from the anxiety of cycling through last night’s events over and over in your head.

None of this feels real, losing Felix and Hyunjin, the ones you love the most. Maybe it was a bad idea from the start, the three of you being together. Maybe you weren’t as well equipped to keep them both happy as you thought. Every “maybe” hangs over you as if it’s written in glow-in-the-dark paint on the ceiling, taunting you from the void. Does any of it even matter now? Whatever it was that led to the eventual downfall of your relationship, the argument that ended it all, you can’t go back and fix it.

Even still, your heart longs for the possibility that you’ll be together again someday. You’ve always liked to think that when you truly love someone you’ll find each other no matter what, in this life or the next. It could be wishful thinking, the musings of a hopeless romantic. What does it hurt to wish, you figure, if that’s all you have? You take a long, deep breath in, allowing your breath to slowly flow back out as you squeeze your eyes shut. If I lay here long enough I’m bound to fall asleep. Right?

“Fuck it” you groan, popping up out of bed and throwing on your fuzzy bunny slippers. Felix thought it’d be cute if the three of you got matching pairs. You hate how right he was. You’ve been fighting tooth and nail with yourself all night not to drive down to the pier. For years it’s been the destination of endless late-night drives. It’s where you snuck away together when the rest of the world felt like it was too much. Your memories of being there, as much as they might sting, are the dearest things to you and you need to drown yourself in them now more than ever.

So, before you know it, you’re headed out the door pulling a hoodie over your head, car keys in hand, desperately seeking solace in nostalgia. It’s a long, lonely ride to the pier. The combination of empty streets and too-long traffic lights gives you the sense that the world has come to a screeching halt. Whether it has or not for everyone else, it has for you. The light flashes neon green, bringing you back down to earth just as you begin to drift away, and you’re making the right turn that takes you to your usual parking spot. 

Turning the car off, you take a moment to sit and inspect the other cars around you. There are a few on your side, a dozen more on the other, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone out here. Probably all people who live nearby. Confident that you’re alone, the wall you’ve put up comes crumbling down, tears falling down your cheek faster than you can wipe them away. Why am I doing this to myself? You shake your body in what would look to a passerby like a cute, albeit strange, dance of sorts in hopes that some of the emotions overwhelming you will fall away like leaves.

Get it together. Summoning all of the courage you have, you make your way to the stairs leading up to the pier. You almost slip on the gritty, sand-coated steps, but manage to make it to the top without breaking your neck. As you venture forward you already hear the waves crashing to shore. You feel the stars watching you, their gaze intense and overwhelming. Only it’s not their gaze at all. There’s someone at the end of the pier staring back at you, teary-eyed and stunned. That intensity, that overwhelming emotion, it’s his.

Felix? No, no, no. You turn on your heels, racing back to the car before you lose it completely. “Wait!” he yells, running after you. Felix hadn’t expected to see you here either. He’d typed a million text messages asking you to come but he’d deleted all of them, thinking you wouldn’t want to see him with everything being so fresh. He’s been wishing too, as much as you have, and he can’t let this moment slip away. Your car door’s halfway open when he reaches you, your fingers held tightly around the handle.

“Can we talk?” he asks, his hushed voice skimming your neck as he pushes the door closed. You don’t fight him. You don’t want to. The feeling of his chest against your back, the wind blowing his hair so that it tickles your cheek, makes you want to melt into him. Turning to face him, melting is the first thing you do, straight into his arms. He doesn’t hesitate to hold you tight to him, the tension soothed by the simple act of having you near him again. “I’m really sorry” you weep, “I should’ve seen that you weren’t happy.” 

Felix shushes you, his fingers stroking your neck, “Stop, don’t say that. I was happy. Me and Hyunjin…working with each other, we just get frustrated sometimes and it wasn’t supposed to come home but it did. I should be sorry” “What? No invite to the family reunion?” you hear Hyunjin ask and you’re positive that you’re hallucinating. But when you look up he’s standing there staring at the two of you with an expression you can’t quite make out. “I…no…we didn’t…” Felix stutters but Hyunjin’s already walking away, heading for the edge of the pier, ignoring you like you’re strangers.

You’re so much more than that and he knows it. Enough time hasn’t passed for him to erase what you shared from his mind. Even if he could, he wouldn't. Why else would he be here? Hyunjin shoves his hands in his pockets, stopping to make a half-turn toward you. “If I admit I’m an asshole will you come with me?” “I mean, we already know you’re an asshole so…no” Felix teases, getting a laugh out of both of you. “What if I say I’m sorry and that I’d really like to not be alone…to be with you two?” A long stretch of silence separates his question and your answer.

“Wait up,” you smile, taking Felix’s hand and dragging him along with you to catch up to Hyunjin. Meeting him at the center of the pier, you take his hand too and the three of you walk to the edge together. Any other time the minutes would fly by, all of the laughter and kisses making hours feel like minutes. But, in the presence of lingering pain, minutes feel like hours. “It’s not the same,” Hyunjin sighs, picking at his already chipped nail polish and flicking it into the sea. You want to deny it but you can’t. “No, it’s not.” Felix sits down, crossing his legs as he frustratingly tousles his hair, “So that’s it, then? We’re done?” 

You take a seat beside him on the ground, sick to your stomach at the thought, “I mean, is that what you want?” “Of course not. It’s never what I wanted. We are what I want.” You turn to Hyunjin and he’s already sitting down on the other side of you, his head resting on your shoulder. “Me too” he yawns, “But what about you? It doesn’t matter what we want if you don’t—” “I do. I always will.” Their faces brighten up, even in the midst of their exhaustion. Felix takes his jacket off, gathers it in a little bundle in your lap, and lays down. “Maybe it shouldn’t feel the same this time,” he muses, “We should make it better.”

You pet Felix’s hair, “I’d like that.” Hyunjin nuzzles up closer to you, seconds from falling asleep, “Better sounds nice.” Stroking Hyunjin’s cheek, you lean into him too, every sleep aid you tried kicking in at once. Suddenly the world feels like it’s moving again, bursting with life even in the dead of night.

You’ve always liked to think that when you truly love someone you’ll find each other no matter what, in this life or the next. How beautiful it is that it turned out to be this one after all.

[vvatchword]

In Which I Get Zooted (and Talk about Paradise Lost for some reason)

Part 2 (View Reblogs for Flavor) ->

I am reading Paradise Lost again. Jesus christ it is so good. The first time I read it I had to get used to Ye Olde Englifh Poetic Conventionf and didn’t do very well. Fortunately, I read lots of early modern English in the distant past—it’s like a language I’ve mostly forgotten. That means that repeated exposure has reopened the prose to me. Eventually, I’m going to have to pick up a book about John Milton himself, because there are definitely some alien theological and historical points whizzing right over my head.

I don’t know what it is about Paradise Lost. Reading Dante was painful outside the Hell part… Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress makes me want to kick him in the pants. or die (Dante’s cuntiness goes a long way, that said)

But like every time Milton writes a Satan speech you just wanna do a fistpump. Just the most conniving, fascinating character. Every other fucker in the “good” section pales by comparison. Hell—I’ll just say it: all of the devils are beautifully written. They feel like real people. Half of the time, you’re nodding along with them, and there’s a point where you have to kinda look over your shoulder at Milton, like… buddy do you have any idea what you are SAYING.

The way that everyone talks about Paradise Lost, you’d think the whole goddamn text was about Satan. It’s not. Three of the ten books focus on Satan. All the others are about the war in heaven, Adam and Eve, or the Fall. Look here: if all we had were the books about Adam and Eve and God’s tried-and-true, this would still be great literature, but it’s greater because the stilted, proper characters clash against what are supposed to be our villains. We are literally being forced to ask the question: WHY do the devil and his minions sound like the people we’d rather know? If Milton’s God were real, I’d be straight-up scared of him, okay. I’d be in the “shit shit shit I hope he doesn’t see or think of me ever” camp.

Fun fact about Paradise Lost: people got mad at it for presenting the devil so well. They assumed that Milton was pro-devil somehow. This is because people have been bad readers since the beginning of time.

Milton is not pro-devil. He’s fallen into the problem that everyone has with writing God, which is: we have to explain why life, an extremely chaotic dumpster fire, is actually according to Divine Plan by a Big Guy Who Loves You! (Really!), but the more you try to explain the Plan the more you have to explain why God isn’t doing X or Y, until finally you have so many asterisks that essentially your religion is *teleports behind you*

So not only can no one read, no one can admit the real problem: how fucking shitty god and the angels are by comparison, and how they are, by all rights, being written correctly.

See, how ELSE could Milton have written God et al, that’s really the question. He does his best, and he’s very, very good at it. Look, I’ve read a LOT of religious texts over my life—and across the board, God is represented this way. CS Lewis wrote some wildly enjoyable fiction, but every time Jesus or God has to show up without the handy-dandy Aslan mask, everything stutters to a halt.

There are even points in the story where Milton has to tell you why what a devil is suggesting is sinful. For example, here’s the devil Belial giving his suggestions for how to deal with God now that all the devils are in Hell. So far, he has suggested not acting at all: God’s power is not only great in strength, it is great in cunning. He cannot be tricked; he cannot be beaten. So why not just wait it out? Don’t poke the tiger. Maybe the tiger will show mercy someday, if the devils don’t get used to the pain eventually:

“This horror will grow mild, this darkness light, Besides what hope the never-ending flight Of future days may bring, what chance, what change Worth waiting, since our present lot appears For happy though but ill, for ill not worst, If we procure not to ourselves more woe.”

Uniquely among the other devils—Moloch, Mammon, Beelzebub, and Satan all speak in this Book—Belial gets an addendum.

Thus Belial with words cloth’d in reason’s garb Counsel’d ignoble ease, and peaceful sloth, Not peace.

I can just imagine Milton reading it out loud to a friend and then that friend saying, “Hey, that Belial guy has the right idea!” and it’s like the tenth time that Milton has read this to someone only for them to look at him like, “Yeah, why not?” so Milton grumpily flops down at his rustic table with a quill and he’s grumbling about how everyone is a fucking idiot since he most clearly counsel’d IGNOBLE ease, and peaceful SLOTH, not PEACE, fuck thee, Thomas, thou slipshod bastard

In sharp contrast to Belial, Moloch—the first speaker—suggested fighting God until he just erased the devils from existence. Which is, you know, a mood.

It’s like the only way that you can represent god in fiction is as a one-dimensional cardboard cutout. The religious are terrified of judgment even while writing him and every time he shows up he’s boring and constipated. Of course we like the devil better: he’s more likely to give us a fair shake. God would fucking crush you like a beetle in slow-motion, ensuring you felt every pang, and he’d talk about how great he was the entire time he did it, and how he loves you, actually. Oh he loves you so much. There went your liver! Juiced. with love

So well are the devils written—so sensible, so motivated, so grounded—that the final devil to speak comes out of left field. Let me set the stage:

So far we had Moloch—future child-eater—suggest eternal war, with the aim of dissolution; Belial, who’s just like, why not chill and let the future bring what it may; and Mammon, who expands on that with “let’s actively seek ways to enjoy ourselves, altering everything around us until we form a world that meets our needs.” All of these devils focus on the pain of Hell, the loss of “bliss” (which I’m assuming is meant to imply both feeling and place: painlessness and Heaven, specifically), and the disgusting idea of returning to God, who they abhor.

Beelzebub brings up the idea of finding Earth, one tiny little planet that God made with a special creature called Man, and fucking around with it.

I had gotten so into the devils’ speeches—I was very zooted—that I had to do a double-take and then run back to re-read them.

“Bub, baby,” Belial should have said, “what the actual fuck are you talking about.”

Perhaps this is only me, but I couldn’t help but think of the vastness of creation, and the absolutely miniscule goal that the devils chose for themselves. The devils fell for nine whole days and nights, and Earth supposedly lies past dangerous voids and environments past understanding. It’s a big step down: go from fucking with the Creator to the Created, and not just any Created: some dumb human babies.

It’s the first break with the devils’ characters, and it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

to be CONTINUED.....

[jadeile-writes]

Fanfic Progress Update 157

It's Saturday, so you get updated on the fic writing. Happy Holidays, btw; over here we celebrate it tomorrow rather than on 25th, so I'm almost free from this hassle. Stay tuned for a sneak-peek for A Sign that you're important at the bottom of this post!

Current WIPs:

A Sign that you're important (previously named I'm Signing in the Drain)

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, movieverse

Summary: One month upon his assigment as Doctor Robotnik's assitant, Agent Stone is told to learn sign language. He doesn't know why, and isn't suicidal enough to ask, so he simply rolls with it. Turns out, it's not just a whimsy of the eccentric doctor, even though that doesn't stop the doctor from utilizing it like one.

Progress: The first chapter was posted on 21st of December. The second chapter will be posted on 28th of December aka next Thursday. Chapter 3 is finished. Chapter 4 has been started. This fic will most likely have five chapters, maybe six if I get epilogue-happy or smth.

Let's hope I can get an adequate amount of writing for this one done despite the Christmas hassle, cause I really don't want to panic-write the last two chapters on the week of posting them. ...I say, like I don't have three weeks to write chapter 4 at this point. But listen, I'm also making eyes at a next idea I have in a little list of ideas, like juggling two fics isn't enough. Tho in my defense, Lab Life is quietly writing itself in the background and doesn't count, especially if I can manage to queue up another fic after this one (I'd really prefer if Lab Life was fully written before I post any of it, because then I'd have lots of time to get started on the sequel while it keeps the readers fed). I'm gonna be so fucked when Hazbin Hotel airs and I might end up double-fandoming :D

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Life at the laboratory (previously known as SBLF, which, btw, was actually just short of StoBotnik LongFic, lol)

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, movieverse

Summary (temporary):

Wanted: a yesman who is capable of operating an espresso machine, has at least a higher IQ than your average amoeba, and is willing to put work before having a personal life, or indeed a life, period. The extra in your pathetic paycheck is good, but the strain in your psyche will make up for the positives. Forfeit your basic human rights and apply today if this sounds like you. 

Maybe it said something about Agent Stone - and probably not good things - that the poster in the cafeteria's pin board piqued his interest more than any of his official assignments had for a good long while. 

Dr. Robotnik, huh?

Progress: This one will be part one of a two-parter longfic, the first part probably... 10-ish chapters? It's a bit hard to estimate at this point, so the number is subject to change - will probably end up increased tbh. My weekly writing hour (as in, a specific hour when I sit down and write, no excuses [other than not being home]) is devoted to this fic.

I have the first four chapters completely written now. Chapter 5 is halfway done. I also have two halfway written chapters that don't yet know their exact placement within the fic (they're scenes that will be slotted in to wherever they feel natural, once we get Stone settled in.)

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Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to Someday™:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Rolling with it (Zelda: BotW)

Hah, our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest! (Hazbin Hotel)

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That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s the promised sneak-peek into A Sign that you're important (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

As far as meetings went, Stone was usually patient and attentive. This time, however, he was certainly in agreement with the doctor that this particular meeting was honestly boring and pointless, and it wasn’t just Robotnik’s “hating meetings” -thing. The only reason the two of them had to be attending at all was because Robotnik had a presentation of his own to add to the collection that was happening right then, which meant that nothing the other people said was actually relevant to their jobs or worth listening to – they were just waiting for their turn. There was nothing interesting going on, and it was made worse by the people presenting their points doing it in the least interesting way they could and droning on and on and on about their projects.

Stone was, quite frankly, contemplating the merits of pretending to get a phone call and leaving the room to take it and then simply not coming back after. The only reason he didn’t was because the doctor would murder him for leaving him to suffer alone. The torture that came first would make this bore of a gathering seem like a cakewalk in comparison, and then end with his mother grieving for her dead son. It was probably better for his career prospects to stay. Or he could take the window instead, this was the seventh floor, it’d be a swift end and he’d avoid the torture part…

His morbid ways of self-amusement were interrupted when the doctor – sitting on his right – suddenly moved. More precisely, his hands un-steepled themselves from the table and started forming words.

-----

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

Links:

My AO3   My FFnet   My Ko-fi    Radiohusk Discord Server

[firstdegreefangirl]

June 2023 Reading Wrap-Up!

Halfway through the year, and I'm excited to report that I'm either on track or ahead of all my reading goals for 2023! I've just got to focus more on reading books I already have, instead of buying new ones. Should be easy enough, right? ;-)

As always, stats up here, mini reviews under the cut. Click through to see what had me swearing at my empty living room at 1:30 a.m.

Total books read: 7 

Total pages read: 1,816 

Days read: 23/30 

Average star rating: 4.33/5 

Challenge Prompts Filled: 13 in June; 66 total. Popsugar: 6(23)/40.   Romanceopoly: 3 (18)/36. CRAD: 1(6)/12. BTBL: 3(19)/52 

Happy Singles Day by Ann Marie Walker 

⭐⭐⭐⭐(¼) 

This was cute! I picked it up on a whim, when I found myself with some free time at the big library branch across town, because I liked the idea of a romance novel celebrating singlehood. I liked watching the MC figure out who she is outside of her job, and her love interest was such a compelling dude. Between his daughter and his sister, and his bed and breakfast, he really made the story for me. It wasn’t quite grumpy/sunshine, because Lucas opens up as things progress, but something about his reluctance to even be invovled in the story at all really entertained me. The only thing I’d say really bugged me was the dog. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs. Like, so much. But the cover has a picture of a little terrier shaped pup, and then the text describes the dog as a “pit bull/boxer mix,” and it drove me nuts every step of the way. A little detail, maybe, but the discrepancy really threw me off. 

Prompts filled: Popsugar – A book about a vacation 

Summer on Blackberry Beach by Belle Calhoune 

⭐⭐⭐(¾) 

What a fun little summer read! I’ll admit, I was expecting there to be some sort of Christmassy detail, given that the town is called Mistletoe, but once I got past that, this was so delightful! I grabbed it from a book thrift store while my friend was in town visiting, after the teacher/Navy SEAL fake dating plot caught both of our attentions. I liked watching the characters learn how to move past their respective losses, and that they communicated really effectively through much of the story. Too many times, the plotline falls apart if the characters would just have like one mature conversation, so I really enjoyed that they did that here and the story held up. It was refreshing to watch these characters grow together and find the futures they didn’t think they deserved. 

Prompts filled: Popsugar – About a holiday that’s not Christmas; Romanceopoly – Soldier Street/One of the MCs are in the military 

Biting Through The Skin: An Indian Kitchen In America’s Heartland by Nina Mukerjee Furstenau 

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 

I’ve had this on my shelf for … probably two years now? At least a year and a half; I’m pretty sure I bought it at the library fall book sale on Fill A Bag day. Food as a vessel for culture has always interested me, and the idea of a memoir pairing Indian food with Midwest culture (where I’ve lived my entire life) was particularly fascinating. Turns out the author spent most of her childhood like three hours from where I grew up/live, in the same small town where one of my friends is from! Every chapter includes stories about the Indian foods that flavor her memories, and the recipes are at the ends of the chapters. I haven’t cooked any of them yet, but maybe someday! The essays were heartfelt and compelling, like I could feel myself in the kitchen right alongside the author and her family, with the warm, hearty spices and sentimental stories.  

Popsugar – favorite prompt from past challenge (2022 – a book with a recipe in it); BTBL – Epistolary/unusual writing style (recipes) 

Darcy by RJ Scott, Meredith Russell 

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 

At some point, I got this for free on my Kindle, and it got the callup this month for being something short enough that I could read it in a couple of days, but compelling enough to hold my attention (also, for having a five-letter title!). I’m admittedly a sucker for fake dating-turned-romance, but usually the “dating” couple is the endgame, so it was interesting to read a story that turned the trope on its head. Darcy and Adrian had such an instant attraction, but more than just sexually. I loved seeing them open up to each other, and how supportive Darcy was through the whole story, of both Adrian and his sister, and especially at the ending. I’m definitely planning to pick up the rest of the series at some point.  

BTBL – less than 170 pages; CRAD – half as many letters as May; Popsugar – Forbidden Romance; Romanceopoly – Passion Place/slow burn or instant heat contemporary romance 

The Water Baby by Roz Denney Fox 

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 

Finally, I got back around to reading this for the first time in … 15 years or so? I don’t remember exactly when I read it for the first time, but I do remember picking it up from my mom’s book stack when I was probably too young for Harlequin romance novels. I liked it then, and saved it from a garage sale pile a few years later. It’s well-loved and rough around the edges, but the best books always are. Luckily, it’s just as good now as it was years ago, and absolutely worth the shelf space for all this time. 

Prompts filled: BTBL – released at least 23 years ago; Popsugar – Set in the decade you were born 

Egghead: or, you can’t survive on ideas alone by Bo Burnham 

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 

I don’t have much to say about this one that I haven’t said before. I love poetry, I love Bo Burnham, and some of my favorite poems ever are in this book (look at you, The Letter!). This particular reread was just shy of an hour, sitting on the floor of my denbrary, looking for something to spark inspiration for an upcoming writing project I'm trying to plan. I’m not sure yet, but I think I figured it out, at that! 

Prompts filled: None 

The Last Flight by Julie Clark 

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 

Fuck this book. Five stars. I’m writing this right about an hour after I finished devouring the book in three days. Mostly two days – the first day I only had time to read like the first chapter. Usually, I’m not one for thrillers, but this caught my eye at the same thrift store as Blackberry Beach up above. Once I realized it’s a signed copy, and was only three dollars, I basically had to give it a try. And holy HELL, am I glad I did! I was sucked in from the first few pages, absolutely enthralled right down to the end. In fact, on page 142, I actively shouted “what the fuuuuuuck?!?” out loud to my empty apartment. It’s that sort of a book. I had a loose suspicion of how it would end, but there were a lot of things I didn’t see coming. I’d KILL to see this one as a movie, and I’m absolutely going to read the author’s other thrillers. Sometimes, there’s a benefit to stepping outside my wheelhouse, because I have a feeling this is going to be a top 10 for 2023.  

Prompts filled: Popsugar – A book about divorce; Romanceopoly – Killer Crescent/a thriller of your choice 

[bellevvalencia]

All things considered

When I think about how I’m right here, right now, still laughing and feeling and trying, I think about the innate mechanism of humans that alert them on what they need to do to survive.

You live to fight another day.

There was no time to think. In March, I was jammed into the team’s most complicated system that I had to get within a week. I was coming in at 8 and leaving at 8. I had been juggling operations that I barely understood in one hand, and my dev work that was way far from the finish line in my other hand. It was just not enough.

In April, I went to three different funerals in three weeks. I was sad and numb and stressed. It was also scary how more accepting I have become about death, both actual and make-believe. (Because, like many of us, I assume, I have relatives who are fucking dead to me). I was on the road most of the time, balancing the responsibilities I have at work and at home on the tip of my nose, while indulging on the side with my best friends.

It’s probably why in May, oh my God, in May, I just felt high. Like nothing matters anymore and I can be anything. I was a shapeshifter. I was Belle and Belly and Andrea all at the same time. I fixed and broke. I stayed silent and laughed aloud. I came and went. I took on anything and killed it.

But the moment I sat down with a one-on-one with Rafa, my infamous 24-year-old supervisor, I realized I had the same problem that I had three months ago, back when I felt way less at-home at the office.

“Have a point-of-view,” he said. “Write that down.”

I couldn’t give him anything - not a want or a need or a direction. I could only tell him that I’m okay and I like what I’m doing, and I could only ask him to give me three more months to figure it out. Figuring out a clear view of what I want to do is such a pain in my ass. Everyone knows I’ve always been like this. In high school, in college, all I’ve ever known was I’d take anything that I could get, simply because my reality is I didn’t grow up with a dream.

I wanted life to be simple. Happy with my family and friends, and able to spend time with them as long as I can.

All things considered, everything’s turning out well. I sat on a coaching session one slow Monday with Jerome, our CEO, and when I told him that my stressor was that I had no idea what to chase after, he cut me off almost immediately.

“Got it. Nobody truly knows what they want.”

I smiled, glimpsing at Rafa then, because it felt validating, like I was right to feel that way, at 22. Although it also felt bad, because I knew it would be more work for him, helping this stupid fresh grad create her own point-of-view. Some people won’t ever have this problem. They’d know what the hell they wanted to do. Most importantly, this shouldn’t even be a concern for Rafa, for someone else. And yet, because we’re a tight, neurotic team, it is.

If you think about it, it’s a concern mostly for me, but is it weird that I’m not that bothered?

It’s too bad I don’t have enough time to think, then.

All things considered, everything’s turning out well. Can you believe they gave me a fucking raise? I still don’t know if I deserve it. What did I even do? I just did what everyone told me to! It’s always so hard to find grace when you don’t have the time to think. Maybe someday, in three more months, along with a point-of-view, I’ll figure it out.

Everyone is lying when they say college is the hardest part. It’s not. Leaving college is the hardest part. You’re starting anew. You’re making your own choices. No profs to pick, no grades to get. Hell, if you want, you can pretty much just stop. It’s what makes it so scary. The world becomes your oyster. You can do anything. And yet, you can’t. You can never do it all. Nobody truly knows what they want. The only way through is to accept it, live with it. You can never live up to your expectations, even though you don’t know what those expectations are.

That’s how you know you’re doing well. Even though you will never ever believe that.

It’s just how it is for people like us.

So I guess, when I think about today, all things considered: complicated systems, death, life, responsibilities, indulgement, missing directions, and tree-tall highs and ocean-deep lows...I think about how the hell everything is turning out pretty well.

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Three things you wish for

Oooh very good question, let’s see here…

1. To meet you (and a couple other friends) in real life :)

I want to be able to have an audible conversation that isn’t a video call, and I want to be able to see you with my very own eyes instead of through a screen, and I want to be able to hug you and laugh together and chat and laugh some more and HUG and be there with you. I really very much want this :’)

I also REALLY hekkin want to be able to go places with you!! Like a gas station (fun) or a grocery store (possibly probably chaotic) or a restaurant (I’ve actually thought about how I’ve wanted to go to a restaurant with you for a while, Pinestripe!)

2. To like… Ghostbur 😭 I don’t know alsgajsgajsg

I want him to have a happy ending (REGARDLESS OF WHAT CC!WILBUR SAYS, REMAINING IN LIMBO IS NOT HAPPY! EVEN IF GHOSTBUR HAS FRIEND! NO, MY DUDE! THAT IS JUST NOT A HAPPY ENDING, AT ALL!) and I want him to get out of that cursed train station (I literally almost started Crying last week because I kept thinking about how alone and scared Ghostbur must feel) and I want… I don’t know.

I just… hm.

Usually, when something I don’t like happens with a character I do like, I get frustrated, sure, and upset and sad and maybe angry. That’s normal; I love certain characters, after all, and I want them to be okay. If they’re not okay or they’re not handled well, I get upset. That’s very normal—not just for me, but for everyone.

Like with Tech from The Bad Batch! I was heartbroken when he died, and I was upset (I literally shrieked/screamed when I watched him die, which has never happened when I watch something lol) and I was sad… but I got over it. I’m still sad, of course, and I miss him, but I’m alright. I have achieved ✨Acceptance✨

But with Ghostbur… gosh, man. It’s very, very different.

I’m extremely upset over his “ending”—and not that normal upset-ness I’m used to. No, this is like… deeper, I think. To the point where it genuinely makes me upset/sad/angry/heartbroken if I think about it too much, which doesn’t really happen for any other character.

Gosh. I just wish I could whisk him out of that horrible limbo and make sure he never ever has to go back there again. He doesn’t belong there. That limbo isn’t even his—it’s Wilbur’s (not that I want Wilbur there either, but still).

I also want to give Ghostbur a hug 😭 I have never wanted to give a fictional character a hug before, but I just… GAHHHHH GHOSTBUR WHY AREN’T YOU REALLLLL

I also really want—and I know this is impossible, really, and will likely never ever happen—to see Ghostbur… live. During a stream. I want to be able to watch him and go, “This is happening right now. This isn’t a clip, this is live. This is right now. It’s GHOSTBUR!!!”

But I know that’ll probably never happen. Doesn’t stop me from wanting it, though.

3. To graduate high school with no problems when that time comes 🫠

I’m behind on math, and I’m not too good at math—all my other subjects are good, and I get good grades on ‘em, but math? Hoo boy. I struggle with that one.

And it worries me, because I don’t want to not graduate—not be able to graduate—because of stupid math. I’m literally good with everything else isn’t that enough 😭

So yeahhh. That. Sighs :’)

Three animals you’d love to take care of in your house

1. My dog, Ginger <3

I mean, come on. Look at her!

She’s the best dog ever and she’s so sweet and so smart and so darn adorable and I don’t ever want to not have her in the same house as me. I know someday she won’t be here, especially since she’s getting older, but I tRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT THAT NO SIR

2. I’ve entertained the idea of adopting a bird someday :) I don’t know the breed/name, but I think it might be a type of parrot? Light grey with light pink, medium-sized. I think they look beautiful and I know they’re smart!

I definitely haven’t looked into this though, so I’d need to do that before I decide whether or not I want to get a bird.

3. Honestly? I think I’m good. I don’t want to have a whole bunch of animals in the house with me (I love animals so much but I don’t want to take care of a bunch, necessarily). As long as I have Ginger I’m just fine <3

Three things you are the most passionate about

!!!

OKAY!!!

1. At the moment, Dream SMP!! I’m so so excited over that silly little server and I know so many Facts and I love watching the streams and the characters are fantastic and GHOSTBUR and it’s so darn unique and interesting and TOMMY and it has so many awesome elements like hobbit-houses and blue sheep and benches and WILBUR and it’s Minecraft so it’s a bit sillier than the average fandom and there’s so much humor and Chaos and that makes it pretty overwhelming at times lol but also so so nice and lighthearted but there’s also SERIOUS ANGST and those themes are tackled, for the most part, extremely well and DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS OKAY this fandom is blessed by the amount of intense platonic relationships there are so many best friends and brothers and siblings and it’s incredible I am so happy oh my goodness and the brokenness oughhhh like in most media brokenness is cast aside or hidden or taken lightly but NOT HERE NO WAY in fact brokenness is front and center and everyone is broken and everyone has messed up so so bad but a lot of them *cough Tommy cough* still try to be good and they try so so hard and the brokenness makes them human and !!!!!

I LOVE THE DREAM SMP AND I DON’T CARE IF THAT MAKES ME ODD AND CRINGE!!! I DON’T CARE!!! I LOVE THIS FANDOM!!! SO MUCH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

2. Mmmmm maybe perhaps… music??

Music in the listening-to sense—I’m not talking about me singing or anything XD

Lately, especially, I’ve been listening to tons and tons of music, and goshhhh. It’s so darn good 😭

Whether it’s a specific song, an artist I like, lyrics, hidden meanings, whatever, I just. Really really like music. A lot. I could probably go on for hours about songs I like and what I think they mean—in fact, I’d probably love doing that 😅

3. Hmm… let me think.

Oh! Probably writing!

Just… coming up with stories, and fantasizing about those stories, and bringing them to life with the tap of a finger (or, lots and lots of taps lol). I love it!! I love the fact that I can create stories and craft them by arranging words together :D

I’m super darn grateful that God has blessed me with such a passion for writing, and I’m curious about where’s that’s gonna go in the future!

I LOVE WRITING!!!

[blackwinged-soul]

 For posterity and context: Far From Heaven gets me from both a Blue-losing-Pink AND a H|arrow-losing-Gid|eon angle.

In fact, it gets me with the latter so much, it is the one and only song that is GUARANTEED to instantly shift me into the same shift every time reliably, completely regardless of my prior shift or mood or distance from the source material. I listen to Far From Heaven and I will ALWAYS be submerged in a H|arrow|hark shift.

The first time I listened to it I thought of Pink (and had such a sharp emotional downturn that though I was singing along (learning how), I gasped and curled into myself and my voice warbled and collapsed and I swore a few times and had to take deep breaths to get my voice back.

Luckily my hyperfixation on the just-then-released Evanescence music pulled me through it without a Complete Breakdown... but GODS that hurt.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is it gives me Some Pink Feelings, but I thought about Gideon too and it's the latter that STUCK. ''All my life: didn't wanna dream I could lose you. But you just smiled...''

At least with Blue, I have the buffer of HAPPY MEMORIES and DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT and HER IMPACT to help me heal.

With Harrow|hark it's........ It's so complicated. I hardly have memories. I don't always trust the ones I have. But GODS do I remember that grief. I remember the shock. Was it tinged with betrayal even? I'm sure there was self-flagellation.

See, here's the thing: Believe it or not I was MORE STABLE as Blue Diamond. .....comparatively speaking. Definitely comparative. But I don't think... my life as Harrowhark came with a happy ending that wrapped everything in a neat little bow.

I can't quantify WHY, but I CAN tell you I think the process of healing was messy and I don't know that I ever REALLY healed. So much in that life was fucked up. But I don't even know how to begin assimilating those Feelings and Memories when I can't PROCESS it because I can't REMEMBER it, let alone ANALYZE it and UNDERSTAND it-- and thus I have no way to ACCEPT it!

Sure, I could try accepting just... the simple fact that I Don’t Know and It Hurt, and That’s Okay.

Except I HATE not knowing (especially in a H|arrow|hark shift!), and I’m very frustrated by all the gaps in my memory. I hardly have any memories as Ry/ou, too.

With Blue, I sort of “unlocked” my memories by doing a ritual. Magic and meditation and all that. I think I did three before they came to me as CLEARLY as they do now... But what kind of memory magic resonates with a necromancer? I know very little of psychometry, and that’s so much in objects anyways. The b|ue court had an affinity for memory.

But with H|arrow|hark, as with Ry/ou, I’m hesitant to call up memories without any idea what KIND will come to me. I know that as Ry/ou, I intentionally suppressed memories that came to me from the T|hief King life because they bothered me. I think that kind of had a holdover effect on my Other lives....

But now I worry what I might discover if I delve too deep or lift that lid without knowing what I’ll find.

I had very little moments that could qualify as a Happy Memory as H|arrow|hark. Proud, maybe. Formative and important, certainly.

But I don’t know if I’m prepared to find out More About Desolation. Especially not because I’m doing so much work in Other Areas of my life right now.

Maybe someday... but I’m not in a place where I can Do that right now.

[teddy06writes]

You Didn't Need Us Then, We Don't Need You Now

Requested by this anon: "Okay I thought of this idea during Fundy's stream. Quackity and reader were engaged to Karl and Sapnap, but they left because of Karl losing his memory and Sapnap paying more attention to him. Quackity and reader then created Las Navadas to try and cope with everything that's happened to them. They created a little wedding area where they planned to get married with Sap and Karl. Flash forward to a year or two later, Karl and Sap stumble across Las Navadas and their two former fiancees. And they see everything they've done, including the little wedding area. which is perfectly designed as to how they wanted their wedding together. That's is as far as I got to the imagine in my head. If you could make a fic out of it that would be cool. If not at least you have this cute imagine in your head! 😊"

{Okay, so- so man feels, so many ideas. I haven't seen all of the Los Nevadas streams yet because I've got a lot of school stuff going on, but, I think I have a pretty good idea of what's going on. [also Slime from The Ground my beloved]}

Quackity x reader; Past: Sapnap x Karl x Quackity x reader

trigger warnings: maybe some swearing, slight descriptions of a panic attack, slight drinking

premise: After L'manburg was destroyed, two of your fiancées seemed to disappear. With just Sapnap left, you had been scared, but he assured you that the right thing to do was split up to try and find Quackity and Karl. And, well, you found Quackity, but when He found Karl.... something else had taken over, and suddenly Kinoko Kingdom was more important than finding you and quackity again. But thats fine. You and Quackity had been together in the begining, so what did you need from the other two? Las Nevadas could fill the void they left,,, and it did, until they happened to come knocking, right as you were finally moving on.

{Also, parental unit for everyone in Las Nevadas, I love it, brain is going brr so hard}

{also also, purpled is the forgotten eldest child of the server and no the ufo does not get blown up}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's gone, (y/n) it's all gone," You said with disbelief, staring over the barren, ashy place that had once been L'manburg and El Rapids, "We couldn't stop him."

Sapnap took in a shaky breath, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, "We were never could have. Even if the supplies weren't destroyed."

The remaining people had already cleared out, but you had only now come to see the damage, having been forced away from the battle by your fiancées.

"I could have helped." You fell to your knees, still staring at the wreckage.

Sapnap could only sigh at the broken look on your face. You had lost the only home you'd ever known, but what had he lost? Well, for one thing, Karl.

Karl was still no where to be found, and now it seemed that Quackity had disappeared.

He fiddled with the purple band that circled one of his fingers, "Look- we- we need to find Quackity and Karl. Q looked pretty bad the last time I saw him, and Karl-"

Resolutely you nodded, dragging yourself to stand, "Karl is Karl. He'll be happy that his statue missed being blown up. I think its Q we should be worried about. This place- El Rapids- that was everything to him."

"Well- how about you go find Quackity, and I go find Karl. We're bound to find them eventually if we split up." He offered.

You studied the look on his face, "You're covering for him. What's going on?"

Sapnap only shook his head.

Crossing your arms you turned toward the hill, and what was left of the prime path, "Quackity has the deed to some land. North of Spawn. Meet us there once you kind K, alright?"

"Okay." He said softly, leaning over to press a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Be safe." You advised, already starting away.

~~

It didn't take you very long to track down your Fiancé, in all the time you'd known him (much longer than you'd known the others), he hadn't changed too much.

So, when you made your way through the twisted paths near Pogtopia, he was up on the ridge, sitting on the rock that had for so long, doubled as a bench.

"It's good to see you're safe." You hugged your arms to your body, trying to keep your voice from shaking.

As soon as you were sitting next to him, he was leaning on you, "He destroyed everything- all that work- El Rapids-"

"I know." You wrapped your arms around him, finally letting your own tears fall, "I know."

"What are we gonna do? I just wanted a place for us- I just- I wanted to make a place for us- all we asked for was recognition- and now the only place that saw was recognizing us is gone."

It had taken a while for Quackity to stop talking about everything that had been destroyed. Even then he kept asking, "But- Just wanted to make a place for you guys, how are we gonna do that now?"

"We can still make a place," You assured him, even as you yourself were unsure, "We'll make our own little country. So far out where no one will be able to blow it up."

He seemed to take to the idea quickly, and that night, as the two of you sat together in the camp that had been made within the caverns of Pogtopia, he talked feverently of the country you two would make.

He talked of buildings, of businesses, and of wedding venues. The plans he made up that night, they were almost enough to make you forget about what had happened to your home.

"What about that land north of spawn?" You suggested, letting your head rest back on his shoulder.

Quackity thought about it for a moment, "I mean- its just some desert, but I think we could make it work."

"Good, I told Sap to meet us there once he found Karl."

He nodded, "We'll head up there, and start getting everything ready, and then when they're ready they can come up."

~~ This was how three months came to pass, with the busyness of planning the new city, the beginning of construction, the meetings with Sam to plan for the new economic system that the new country would spread through the lands.

Yet you still felt off. It had been that long and Karl and Sapnap had never returned, something must have gone horribly, horribly wrong. It nagged at you, constantly, Drove you sick with anxiety somedays.

"(y/n)."

You looked up from the designs for the next casino you had been going over, "Sam! I didn't know you were visiting today! What can I do for you?"

"Uhhh, I wasn't planning on it, you better come out here- it's Quackity, we had been discussing- some things. I don't know what happened but when he passed back through-" The creeper hybrid trailed off.

You quickly stood, rushing passed him and through the hall to the courtyard where Sam had left him, gasping for breath and tugging at his hair.

In an instant you were kneeling beside him, "Breath baby, breath."

"They- he- George- Kinoko- Sap- left- on purpose-" He blubbered.

"Hey, Q," You took his hands as gently as you could, "look at me. Breath, breath with me. Come on, breath."

Slowly, he began to calm down, and by the time Sam was long gone he slowly began to explain what happened.

"I was heading back from talking with Sam, I saw George outside the prison. He kept talking about something- about- Kinoko Kingdom..." He sighed.

"Kinoko- what?" You asked, confused.

He let his head drop into his hands, "Karl and Sapnap.... started another country- called Kinoko Kingdom... they didn't even wait for us."

You felt your heart drop, if you hadn't been holding his hands yours would've been shaking, "What-"

Quackity could only nod shakily as he pulled you into his arms.

"I told him to come back here- I told- why didn't they-" You muttered absently.

The only noise in the courtyard was from the fountains, and the small sniffles from the two of you.

You were still in a state of semi-shock and sadness when you felt his arms tighten around you.

"We don't need them anyway. Las Nevada's can prosper without them."

~~ "Purpled? You want to get him in on this?" Quackity frowned.

You shrugged, "He's a mercenary, he could be of some help around here."

Your fiancé studied your face for a moment, "No, that's not it. Why do you really want him here?"

"Look, he's-" You sighed, "The kids been through a lot. He doesn't really have anything anymore, he needs somewhere, someone at least. We owe that too him at least."

After a moment, he nodded, "I haven't spoken to him since I paid him for his help with that egg mess. He- didn't seem to like me being around."

"I'll try to find him, he'd talk to me, I'm sure of it." You stood up from your seat at the table.

"You're going now?" He asked, following you across to the coat room.

You nodded, tugging on your boots, "If I want to make it through to the Greater SMP before it gets dark. I'll see if Eret will let me stay the night, then I'll head out again."

"Be careful." Quackity advised once you were ready.

You pecked at his lips, "I always am."

The journey to the Greater SMP went quickly, and after a nights stay in Eret's castle, you had made your way to the UFO, disappointed to find it seemingly abandoned.

"How the hell am I supposed to find him if the one place he ever seems to be is empty." You muttered, glancing around the base of the UFO.

You shrugged off your knapsack, dropping it to the side, followed by the sword that had been at your hip, and then you began to climb.

Even the inside of the UFO was completely empty, devoid of any chests, crafting tables, or furnaces.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

You jumped, turning to find Purpled, in full netherite, sword gripped tight in his hand.

"I- We've been looking for you." You fumbled for an explanation, holding up your hands in a sort of surrender.

He scoffed, "I already did a job for you people, I'm busy now."

"Not for a job Purpled!" You couldn't help but exclaim, "Some people actually try to find you for more than just that."

"Then what do you want?" He snapped.

"Did Q tell you about Nevadas?"

Purpled frowned, "Yeah, he mentioned it."

"Well, I think you should join. Come in on the project."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

You sighed, "Look, Purpled, you- everyone here, in this smp, they don't care, they don't bother to know you. You- you don't really have a place here-"

"You think I don't know that?" Purpled's grip on his sword tightened.

"So, If you come with us, join Las Nevadas, you can have a place- have people who care. You need people, Purpled."

"I don't Need anyone." He insisted.

You sighed, "Someday your going to have to see that that's not true. Please consider joining Las Nevadas, no one here cares, but we do."

"That's not true," He said bitterly, "You just need me to do another god damned job."

With a shake of your head you turned, preparing for the climb back down, "Purpled, this smp isn't kind to children, but I think it's been the most unfair to you. Out here your being forgotten, but you might not be if you join us."

~~

At the base of the UFO you were surprised to find a strange, slimly looking boy digging through your bag.

"Hey!" You yelled, "Don't touch that! It's not yours!"

He looked up and froze, realizing he'd been caught.

You snatched your things away from him, quickly unsheathing your sword, "Who are you?"

"Uhhhh, I'm a meat person- same as you!" He offered.

"You- you're- uh-" You sputtered for a moment confused, "Why were you touching my things?"

"Uhhhhh, Dap me up!" He said avoiding the question.

You stared at him for a moment, "I don't have time for this."

As you started back toward the prime path you heard him call, "Nice to meet you (y/n) from Las Nevadas!"

"How do you know my name?" You demanded, whirling around.

"Oh, I know a lot of things." He laughed, "I see lots 'a stuff."

You frowned, "Uh huh. I'm gonna- walk away now."

~~ A week had passed, and there was still no signs of Purpled, nor Fundy or Foolish, (both of whom Quackity had gone to speak to whilst you were away), coming to Las Nevadas.

You were sure that Purpled would come around eventually, but had no faith that anyone else would join Las Nevadas, until you had heard a strange noise in the night.

It had been a cross between a clang and a yell, and then almost like something being dragged.

You had been going over some of the contracts you had been preparing for if anyone ever did show up when you'd heard it, and your fiancé seem to be gone from his own office, and your bedroom even, so quickly you armed yourself with your sword before hurrying out after the noise.

The streets of Las Nevadas were still partially lit by street lamps as you hurried along, it didn't take you long to find your fiancé, just outside of city limits, pacing In front of a strange looking hole.

"What the hell are you doing?" You hissed.

"Hey! It's (y/n) from Las Nevadas!"

You jumped at the voice, turning to see that no, the hole wasn't green, that the same slime boy from before was sitting in it.

"You! What are you doing here?!" You exclaimed.

"Quackity from Las Nevadas put me in this hole!" He said cheerfully.

Quackity grabbed your shoulder, turning you away from Slime and the hole, "You know him?"

"He was trying to look through my stuff after I talked to Purpled," You explained, glancing back over at the hole, "Said he sees just about everything, uhh, as far as I can tell, he's like the hybrids- but- weirder."

"Nope! I'm just a totally goopless guy! I'm bones and stuff!" He called from the hole.

"Oh god we have crazy people here." Quackity muttered scrubbing a hand over his face.

You moved to crouch next to the hole, "What- uh- What are you doing here buddy?"

"Oh I'm just oozing around. Dap me up!"

Confused, you complied, nervously laughing as he grinned at the handshake.

"I found him spying in the restaurant." Quackity sighed.

"What's spying?" The boy in the hole asked, "I just listen."

"Yeah well tell me exactly what you heard or I'll ill you right now!" Quackity threatened, pulling out his sword.

He hummed, "Well, I saw you, and I saw (y/n) from Las Nevadas. And there was a green guy, and a purple guy. I know of a Red guy, dead guy but he's not dead anymore-"

Your breath hitched, "Dead guy?"

"Yeah, looked real ashy- maybe even ...sooty?..." He confirmed.

Quackity glanced back at you, "And he's not dead anymore?"

"No. He's weird now. Got gray hair instead of grey skin. Used to run a country- got blown up though."

"How much have you seen man?" You asked, incredulous.

He shrugged, "I mean, I move slow but I've seen a lot. Lately a lot of conversations about taking advantage of the ever so fragile human psyche through gambling."

"Holy shit." you muttered.

Quackity glared up into the night sky, almost looking for an answer.

Shifting closer too look at the boy you frowned, "What's all that green stuff?"

"Oh- those are just- my totally normal- human parts! I'm a person!" He grinned.

You sighed, "Uhh, look, what's your name? Like how I'm (y/n) from Las Nevadas, who are you?"

"Oh, I'm goop from the ground!" He smiled for a moment before realizing his mistake, "I mean- I'm a meat person!"

Quackity still seemed to be praying to the sky, not paying any attention.

"Goop from the ground," You muttered, slowly connecting the dots, "Well, uhh, goop, how bout I give you a regular person name?"

"A person name? Oh boy!" He laughed.

You thought for a moment longer, "How about- Charlie?"

Charlie grinned, somehow even wider than before, "Woah! I have a real human name! Like any other regular human meat person!"

"Yep, you do." You chuckled.

"And, to be clear, I definitely am one of those, and not a piece of goop, that's slowly come to the surface, hiding as a person!"

As you continued to talk with Charlie, Quackity seemed to come to a realization, "He's like an accidental spy!"

And, when you helped him out of the hole Quackity was quick to say, "Well, this- this- was- was uh a formal greeting! Yeah that's what we call them!"

"Wow!" Charlie mused.

The walk back to Las Nevadas was quiet, until Charlie turned to you, "(y/n) from Las Nevadas, if I'm Charlie- where- where?"

You smiled, "Do you want to be Charlie from Las Nevadas?"

~~

By the end of the same week, after having gotten Charlie fully on board, and slight agreement from Foolish, word finally came from Purpled.

You'd been working on the next phase of the whole Nevadas Project when Charlie rushed in, "(y/n) from Las Nevadas! There's someone here!"

You frowned, "Who?"

"Purpled from UFO!" He practically yelled.

Standing, you tucked your papers away, "That's perfect Charlie, thank you. Do you want to come with to help show him around?"

He nodded, following you out of your office.

Outside, you found Purpled, along with his dog, looking up at the casino in awe.

"Purpled! You came!" You called cheerfully.

The boy turned, a strange expression you couldn't read on his face, "What? No 'I told you so'? No 'I knew you'd come around eventually'?"

You shrugged, "I'm just glad you finally came."

He sighed, "It's not like they needed me anywhere else."

You put a hand on his shoulder, "That's alright, We need you here."

"They- I went to tell Ponk I was leaving," Purpled sounded too broken, too tired, "He said he was too busy to talk to me."

Before you could say anything, he continued, "I had a house, near L'Manhole. I- I uh blew it up, to see what would happen," His shoulders began to shake, ever so slightly, as he finished in a whisper, "No one even noticed."

In one quick move you wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into a hug, "It's okay Kid, it'll be okay now."

That was how your fiancé found you, standing outside the main casino, a teen all but sobbing into your shirt, Charlie looking on confused.

~~

And so, the time passed, Las Nevadas grew, and you and your new little family did along with it.

Quackity found it funny, really, your ability to bring people onto your side be connecting with them emotionally, and as he put it, all but adopting them.

Charlie still took up a room in the apartments you and Quackity staid in above the offices. Purpled would come over when things around the country weren't so busy, and you'd talk for hours, Foolish joining in some of the time.

Fundy, on his first night in the city, had broken down to you, the same as Purpled, but you'd helped him put himself together. Though Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo didn't have official places in Las Nevadas, it seemed a chunk of their time was spent there.

Yep, that was your new strange family. You, Your fiancé and the kids but not really young enough to still be kids you accidently adopted.

Now, you reflected on this quietly, from the top of the needle.

"You okay?" Quackity asked softly, looking over at you.

You chuckled softly, "Can you believe that it's been two years?"

"No, can you?"

You shook your head, "You know, I've been thinking. A long time ago, you told me we were better off with out Karl and Sapnap."

He watched silently, as you pulled the other two rings that you had kept, holding them up by the chain they were strung on.

"Maybe- you were right- and maybe it's finally time to get married. Just us. We didn't need them to get here, we won't need them for anything else."

A small smile slipped onto Quackity's lips, "Would you marry me?"

"You already know the answer to that." You chuckled.

"So it's a yes?"

"Obviously." You scoffed.

"When should we have the ceremony then?" He asked.

"Right now," You mused, "We opened that wedding hall for a reason, right? We could get married proper, right now. It's already decorated the way Tubbo originally planed."

He laughed, "Let's do it tomorrow that way we have time to get like, notices out and shit."

You smiled, "Of course."

The sun had begun to set during this discussion, and you looked out over the peaceful landscape with a soft sigh, yes, this, this was home.

And even as you heard Charlie tripping and crashing his way up the stairs, the thought still filled your head.

"Quackity and (y/n) from Las Nevadas!" He exclaimed, "Purpled from Las Nevadas found some people by the border!"

In an instant, both you and Quackity were standing, "What were they doing?"

"Looking around, real weird like. Fundy From Las Nevadas said they might be here to attack us! I hope they aren't."

You followed Quackity past him and back down from the tower, drawing your sword as Charlie called out where he had left Purpled and the mystery people.

What you found was not what you expected.

Purpled stood, sword drawn and pointed at the men you least expected to see now.

Karl looked scared, tucked back behind Sapnap who was moving to draw his own sword.

Not another move!" You barked, moving to stand in line with Purpled.

Karl's face light up upon seeing you, "(y/n)! Quackity! I missed you!"

"Did you?" Quackity spit.

"Sapnap drop your sword." You commanded, not paying attention to the strange look on their faces, no one, and I mean no, pulled a sword on your family.

He frowned, "Wh- (y/n) don't be like that. I get it- but- why..."

"What are your intentions? Why have you come here?" You asked.

"We wanted to find you!" Karl said, "We missed you (y/n)."

"Uhh, that's (y/n) from Las Nevadas to you." Charlie said.

Quackity sighed, grabbing Charlie by the collar and pulling him back, "Sorry- he's been learning sass and sarcasm lately."

"Still, what are you doing here?" You pushed.

"We wanted to find you! You've been gone so long, we thought we'd go looking." Sapnap explained.

"We've been gone?" You scoffed, "You were the ones who disappeared."

Karl moved forward, grabbing your left hand, and Quackity's right, "We just wanted to come back, to finally get married."

You pulled away, slowly sheathing your sword, "You can't be serious?"

"What do you mean?" Karl asked, the smile just beginning to drip off his face.

"You fucking left us- We were just trying to make a place for the four of us to be safe and you left us! And now you want back? Out of the blue?" Your voice steadily grew louder, "You cannot show up here after abandoning us like that!"

Quackity gently took your hand, murmuring, "(y/n)..."

"No. They don't get to do this!" You turned to him, watching his face change upon seeing the mix of anger and sadness in your eyes.

"W- We'll talk about this tomorrow, away from the kids," He asserted, for once not earning any protest about age from Purpled or Fundy, "Charlie, you think you can take these guys on a tour of the place?"

He nodded eagerly, "This way this way!"

As Sapnap, Karl, Purpled and FUndy began to trudge after him, Quackity turned to you, "(y/n)?"

You just shook your head, pulling your hand out of his and starting away.

~~ Purpled had followed the tour party quietly, taking a page from Charlie's book and watching, observing everything.

He had seen the pain in your face at the suggestion of marriage, and the anger in Quackity's just upon seeing them.

So, he followed the men warily, watching the way Karl exclaimed about how he had built an Effile tower just like the one in the city in Manberg, and the way that Sapnap mentioned fondly how the décor at the wedding hall matched the ones you two had always spoken about.

Hearing it nearly drove him mad. Did they not realize that it had all been for them? That dreams of them arriving were the only thing that had ruled Your and Quackity's minds?

When Charlie had directed the group, which by now included some of the other tourists, past one of the bars, he stopped.

Inside, Quackity was slumped at the bar, a bottle of whiskey in hand.

"Drinking away your problems won't solve them." Purpled sighed, pulling the bottle away from him.

"We were doing so good without them. You know that Purp. But here they are, back and ready to fuck things up again. That's how it's always been." He muttered.

The boy shook his head, "They don't realize how destructive they are? Do they?"

"Never have." He sighed.

"Lets get you back home."

Quackity allowed himself to be manhandled into standing, and then led out of the bar, back toward the offices, and toward the apartment.

"(y/n) will figure it out. They always do." Purpled assured him, pulling open the apartment door and ushering him in.

"But they shouldn't have too," He sighed, running a hand through his hair, not bothered by the way his beanie fell to the floor, "They've dealt with so much without help. Yet they're always the ones to help us."

~~

Once he had wrangled Quackity into the bedroom, Purpled headed back out, finding Fundy at the base of the Needle, "They up there?"

"Yeah," The hybrid sighed, "Quackity?"

"Got drunk. He's- painfully coherent though." He winced.

Fundy ran a hand through his hair, "It's hard to believe one of the nicest people around is the one to fuck them up like this."

"Makes perfect sense to me," Purpled said as they began to make their way toward the stairs, "My first night here- I was having a hard time, because- the whole server acted like I didn't exist. (y/n) told me about how Sapnap and Karl had abandoned them."

"Did it seem this bad though?" Fundy asked.

"No- but that was before they turned up again talking about marriage."

By now they had reached the top of the tower, and Purpled could see where you sat by the ledge, feet dangling over. Quietly, they both sat down on either side of you.

"How's Q?" You asked quietly after a moment.

"Drunk, but back at your apartment, well supplied with water." Purpled reported.

You nodded, "And K and- Karl and Sapnap?"

"Waaay to blissfully ignorant." Fundy said.

Quiet held you three in silence for a moment, until at last Purpled sighed, asking, almost bitterly, "So- are you gonna marry them? You were going to once."

"Even if I did it wouldn't change anything here." You mumbled.

"Sapnap was talking about how cool it would be to come back and visit from Kinoko after the honeymoon." Fundy admitted.

Before you could say anything Purpled drew one of his knees to his chest, "I- don't- it feels like they'd be taking you away from us- I like it the way it is. Things are nice, and they're just fucking it up."

Fundy nodded, "As much as I hate to say it, he's right. If you people all get married nothing will be the same. I kind of liked having parental figures, I don't want them messing that up."

"They won't." You promised softly.

By god, if you hadn't already made up your mind, their words would've swayed you.

~~ After a while, you stood, "Let's go home."

They followed you tiredly, Charlie joining the mini procession at one intersection, telling you that Sapnap and Karl had gone to get a hotel room.

At the apartment, Quackity was sitting on the couch, already seeming more sober than Purpled had told you. When you sat next to him, his arms were quick to wrap around you, holding you like a lifeline.

Charlie took his place on the other side of the couch, Purpled curled up in the armchair, and Fundy dug around until he found one of the old projectors he'd left there, queuing up a movie.

"Hey, just like on Nightmare's days!" Charlie laughed, referring to the infamous 16th, where, just about every month it seemed you, Fundy, Quackity and sometime Purpled would have nightmares of the Manburg Pogtopia war, and everyone would congregate in the living room to watch one of Fundy's movies.

"Sure as hell feels like one." Quackity muttered.

And so you watched the movie, though your thoughts drifted, thinking of how you would deal with your reappearing ex-fiancés.

As you thought, you created a mini script in your head. Exactly what you would say came you.

"You didn't need us then, and we don't need you now."

Yes, you thought, leaning more into Quackity's side, thats what you'd say, after you talked about your new family.

(and the next day, you did just that)

[nikos63]

Secret santa, match maker

For @transformhim as part of the 4th Annual Writer Story Exchange. Merry Christmas, my friend!

  Planning out what to wear to the colleges winter party was going to be fun. I wasn't sure if i should buy something new or wear something i could find. It was a themed holiday party where you dress as your favorite movie character with a winter twist. You had your own room but three other guys shared your suite with bathrooms you all had to share. It was a much better setup than your room last year having to go down the hall to use the bathroom. The upside was you met your roommates throughout the year. You're best friends now with Brandon and you like hanging out with John and Ryan. Brandon is taller than you at 5'11" with you being the third tallest at 5'9" after John then Ryan being 1/2" shorter. He likes to wear shoes with a bit a heel so he is only shorter when barefoot which you've gotten to see a lot more that you share a suite.

You liked Brandon's height but he seemed to upset being under 6 foot. it might also have been from his older brothers all being over 6 foot. Maybe you'd get the courage to ask him out at the party.

"Hey Brandon what are you going to wear to the party this Friday? You're going right?"

Brandon replied, "yeah i'm going, i think we should do something matching like be the Fantastic Four or something. What were you thinking?"

I liked the idea of matching but i wanted to think about it longer.

---

Ryan and John goofing off, maybe someday i can do this with Brandon.

-----

They ended up heading out before me, i still wasn't sure what to wear but i got a text from Brandon saying to wear winter workout gear, with pants. Just as i got dressed pulling on my jock strap i always wear when working out i heard a ping go off.

"Take the pill on the counter we already took ours, one for everyone invited to the party." I look around and see a baggie with instructions on front, take one of these for everyone in your group going. Wishing all a fun night!

Intrigued despite my usual avoidance of taking anything i haven't looked into more I swallow it down hoping for a good night. There was supposed to be a Santa, and no not one for little kids. Heading out i looked in the mirror smiling at my face. I shaved but my roomates were a mixed bag. I might want to grow a new beard with how sexy a guy with a full beard looked to me. Having body hair or not didn't spoil it but i liked to see tattoos so much i'd offered to shave my ex's back where he had a sexy tiger. How i liked to make him purr.

Showing up at the building texting to find out where they were.

Hello young man have you been naughty or nice? A door had opened and in it was probably the promised Santa. Chuckling, "I might have been nice but i want to be naughty tonight" "Down the red hallway then." I saw there was a green and a red hallway behind him. I entered the light and my stomach gurgled just then, "Hey dude, r u in yt?"

Brandon seemed to be a bit drunk or just not paying attention to his text. "Yeah i'm in the red hallway."

In response i got an eggplant emoji which he'd never sent me but made my grin in hopeful response, "I'm wearing my favorite hat."

Down the hallway, had it always been so narrow? My arms were close to the curtained door just ahead.  Anyway, I went through to quiet club music to the side with dancing people and leather chairs on the other for sitting in groups.

While i couldn't see my friends there was a tall barely clad guy ahead of me, just as i reached out he turned to show me a big red bulge he had and... what seemed to be exact matches for Brandons tattoos except he was much too tall to be him.

"Hey how's the party."

The tall sexy guy i felt i'd met before reached out, "you have got to try the punch Mike. It makes the party so much better." Did he say my name, maybe we share a class.

Happy to be near the tall guy i happily got a glass to drink, it tasted like fruit punch without any alcohol but my stomach clenched once i'd downed the glass. I dropped the cup, leaning over to get it i took full inventory of my new "friend" wearing  the exact watch and bracelet that Brandon always wears, Brandon? never mind." He leans  in oh I thought you might notice, I am Brandon and it's thanks to the punch that I'm the height i've always wanted to be. We all get one wish from Santa tonight. If you took the pill it's supposed to be permanent. I thought i'd wished for something else but this is great too. "

I, what? You're really Brandon?" He has the same dreamy eyes but i hadn't let myself think so openly before not wanting to make him feel awkward when we studied together.

Of course I am and just take a look, that beard you've always wanted is coming in."

If i had to wish for something it would have been for Brandon to like me the way i like him but it seems I got a want instead, a beard i could have grown out..

Just as I slumped a bit the music beat got much louder. My other friends must have been hanging out near the dancers.

If i could have just not pulled my hand back the last time i'd asked if he had a pen i could use, when we were studying. Maybe we could have, something.

The little stage nearby was filled with the Santa who gyrated his hips rolling that belly around. He was saying something but we were too far away to hear.

I felt Brandons arm behind me, Come on Mike, let's go over. I was waiting for you, John and Ryan wanted me to dance. I wanted to make sure you had a friendly face when you came in. He didn't have a hard time talking now, the texting must have been his bigger hands.. well his bigger everything now that i took a moment to look.

We stood in front of the stage and Ryan waved over at me and i noticed he looked a bit shorter than what looked to be John next to him. The audience was full of smiling guys standing in small groups all seeming to be paired up. John must have been hitting the gym, i hadn't seen him doing weights. My mind wandering taking in the barrage of lights, sound and slightly musky air a hand rubbed my back again.

How could i ever not notice he'd left his hand on my back, he was so dreamy standing next to me. I should have asked him on a date the first time i bumped into him, we'd been lab partners in Botany and he kept making me smile telling jokes all the time.

"Bro, for real I keep wanting to kiss you, would that be ok? I think this will make more sense if we just.."

Of course I reach up to kiss him, I seemed to be the same height but he was a little taller. He could be a bit taller i rememeber thinking, I had to go up to finish the kiss. Was it my imagination or was he looking farther down now. My loose pants began to tent and I think i blushed.

"We should have done that sooner." Brandon huskily said in my ear. "I had a thing for you since the first time you laughed at my jokes."

Santa was stripping out of his large robe dancing for the cheering crowd. I could hear better now that we were closer, you all were invited here for one reason or another. Some of you are usually the shy type or are forever hopeful of someone to help you be who you've always dreamed of being. I have taken special interest in the adults of many colleges and here and now take a look at each other. No more mists.

His dancing slowed and I felt my face again. A light stubble on my face instead of the beard i had. Brandon suddenly seemed to appear in my mind what i remembered and how he looked now. He had a trim beard and he was definitely taller. The music went back to a background hum filling my feet with a heartbeat pounding of the bass or, maybe my feet were bigger?

"oh Mike, you are just my type i've always wanted to be the bigger spoon. You have always been so strong but i didn't feel good enough being shorter than everyone in my family. If this doesn't last past tomorrow i will get lifts for my shoes but it doesn't really matter. I want to be your boyfriend if you'll be mine. We hang out all the time and.. what do you think?"

Of course i wanted to jump into his arms hearing his words. He was just my type too. Maybe our Christmas wishes really were met. I thought he was perfect but i hadn't changed except for maybe a bit more weight on my arms. My feet I'd look into later that night when we could relax in each others arms, preferably after some bonding experiences. If you get my drift, I Mike wanted to be Brandon's boyfriend and he seemed to want me to be me with a few enhancements we would explore for years to come.

[nikkeora]

>> nav

A list of prompts I've gathered from the internet/written. Once used, a prompt will be crossed out and become a link to its fic.

I can, of course, write other prompts, but here's a couple suggestions;

(contains general fluff, angst, enemies to lovers, etc.)

general Fluff

1/ "They don't compare to you. No one does."

2/ "Is that my shirt?" "I have no idea what you're talking about."

3/ "I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I've met."

4/ "I think I'm in love with you."

5/ "Marry me?" "Maybe later."

6/ "You took all the pillows so i’m using you as one."

7/ "You bought me flowers?" "Yeah, well I noticed you'd seemed kinda down, so I wanted to cheer you up."

8/ "You said you wouldn't fall in love with me." "I lied."

9/ "Stop doing that with your face, someone else is going to snatch you up."

10/ "I think I'm falling in love with you." "I think I'm okay with that."

11/ Staying out past curfew together, them giving you their hoodie/sweater.

12/ Trying to drag them out of bed but ending up cuddling.

general Angst

13/ "Please don't say that.." "I'm not going to lie to you."

14/ "I just want to see you happy."

15/ "Don't look at me like that." "Like what?" "Like you still love me."

16/ "I would give up everything for the chance to hear your laugh again. To see you smile. To see you happy."

17/ "Can't you see how fucked up this is?"

18/ "For once in your life, do what you want! Be selfish!"

19/ "Wake up. You have to wake up. Please. For me."

20/ "You would risk letting all those people die for one person? Why?" "Because it's not just one person…it's you."

21/ "I'm not leaving you here."

22/ "You left without saying goodbye."

23/ You're trapped and they go to get help. They don't make it back in time.

24/ They're in a secret relationship with someone else. You find out first hand.

Enemies to Lovers type

25/ "You're so annoying!" "Well, you're still here."

26/ "I don't like you!" "Finally something we can agree on."

27/ "I used to feel like my stomach turned when you walked into the room. Turns out that wasn't because the sight of you made me physically sick..."

28/ "There may have been some misplaced animosity between us." "May?!"

29/ "I can't tell them. They would make fun of me! We used to hate each other!" "Used to—that’s the important part."

30/ "Can't you just leave me alone? I think about you enough as it is.."

31/ "You went from meaning absolutely nothing to me to being everything."

32/ "Last time I checked, you guys were at each others' throats. How come you're sending heart eyes every time you see her now?"

33/ "you sound pretty hot when you shut up."

34/ "Of course, it just had to be you. It always had to be you." 

35/ You both look forward to your teasing with the other because it has grown to be a substantial part of both of your days.

36/ (+only one bed) They wake up to your face right near theirs. They’re leaning in, still drowsy and not thinking straight, ready to risk it all, when you open your eyes and their first instinct is to smack your face away.

Friends to Lovers type

37/ "I've been in love with you since we were kids."

38/ "You keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true."

39/ "We've been by each other's sides for years, you think I'm gonna leave now?"

40/ "I love you." "I know." "No, I'm being serious. I'm actually in love with you."

41/ "We are more than friends and you know it."

42/ "This sounds like you're flirting with me." "...I've been trying to do that for three years now."

43/ "Well, since we were kids I planned to marry you someday."

44/ "I refuse to go from being friends from one minute to your lover the next. It's tearing me up inside." (x)

45/ "So are you guys friends?" "Yes.. no! Yes — no. Yes. it’s just complicated right now.” (x)

46/ "You knew? All this time you watched me get nervous and flustered and embarrass myself in front of you and you knew? Do you know how many times I laid in bed regretting every embarrassing thing I had said?" (x)

47/ It makes you feel sick to your stomach listening to them coo over their new partner. And the worst part is that you have to smile and nod like it’s not killing you inside. (x)

48/ You have a dream about your best friend and suddenly wow they're sitting so close it makes it hard to focus on anything but the feeling of them leaning against you.

(x - thanks to Jess @alphabetaus for your friends-to-lovers prompts! I'll be sure to tag you again if/when they get used :)

Miscellaneous

49/ "Murder wasn't on today's agenda." "It's not on anyone's." "No it's on mine, just not untill next Thursday."

50/ "Do you even realize how cute you are?" "Oh yes, I'm adorable. I'm a fucking delight."

51/ "Pinky swear?" "No way, that's a girls' thing!" "Oh come on!" "Fine.. but pinky swear that we never pinky swore."

52/ "Do you trust me?" "Nope." "Well too bad, 'cause you're stuck with me anyway."

53/ "You come here often?" "Well considering I live here, yes."

54/ "I thought you would've forgotten me by now." "You meant too much to forget."

55/ "Out of everything here, I'll miss your stupid face the most."

56/ "Just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn't, like, mean anything, by the way. Not in that way, at least. Unless you want it to mean something. I don’t mind. That's cool.”

57/ "Whose blood is that?"

58/ "Who did this to you?"

59/ Giving them archery lessons 'cuase they suck at it and holy shit you're both standing so close—

60/ Giving up and starting to get over them when they finally tell you that they like you. Only problem is, have you actually moved on?

[dannythedog]

Greta Van Fleet Headcanon: Accidentally Getting Pregnant

REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED!! They will reopen shortly :)

Josh:

You sat in the living room watching some mindless show while Josh showered

It was taking him a little longer than normal but you didn’t think too much of it

He walked out in a towel, still dripping with water

“Nice shower?”

“What is this?”

You turned to him to see him holding two pregnancy tests that you were sure you buried at the bottom of the can

“Why were you digging in the trash, Josh”

“That doesn’t matter. You’re pregnant?”

Your heart sank because he didn’t look like his normal happy self

You guys weren’t trying to get pregnant right now. Things were too hectic in both of your lives

“I was gonna wait to tell you until I went to the doctors. I wanted to be sure”

He sat next to you and grabbed your hands. You’d never seen him so serious before

He started to call you mama, but stopped himself because of the situation

“Y/N, we have to talk about these things. This is going to be very hard for us, but I’ll be by your side the whole way”

You gave him a smile. You knew it wasn’t going to be an easy ride, but you wouldn’t want anyone else to do this with

Jake:

You shook your head in disbelief. Three positive tests sat in front of you

“Well?” Jake asks anxiously

“Positive,” you breathed, thrusting the tests at him

“Fuck!” He yelled. “You can’t be serious.”

“Well if you hadn’t insisted on not using condoms anymore, this wouldn’t be an issue! I told you the pill wasn’t 100% effective!”

He was pacing around the room, tugging at his hair

You two had never talked about children. You both just knew deep down that it wasn’t the time

His heavy breathing and lack of words made your chest hurt. The tension and anger was too much

Tears spilled over and you exited the room, barely mumbling about how you needed space

“Where are you going? Y/N, you can’t leave!”

Hastily grabbing your car keys, you tried to scoot around Jake to the front door

He grabbed your arms and held you up against the wall, trapping you

“You can’t leave me. Not right now,” his voice cracked, his own tears beginning to shine. “This isn’t ideal at all, but god you can’t leave me. We’ll work it out. Just please stay”

Your heart broke at the raw emotion on his face. You needed him too

“Don’t be mad at me, Jake”

“This was both of us. I could never be mad. I’m just scared”

He’d hold you all night and you guys would decide to talk about it in the morning when you weren’t so upset

Sam:

Sammy had invited Danny and his brothers over for a drink

You hadn’t been paying much attention to what they were talking about, but somehow the topic of children was brought up

“Oh, god. That could never be me”

“What, no kids for you, Sam?” Danny joked, giving him a light shove

“No way, man. Those little shits would ruin me”

Your heart clenched in disappointment. He didn’t know it, but you had taken tests last week and they were positive

At the moment there were no plans for children, but you had always hoped for them one day. Especially with Sam

His confession had left you quiet for the night, and once your guests had left he found you curled up in your bed

“What’s going on, sugar? You seem a little off”

You shrugged and pulled the covers up to your chin and he crawled in next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist

“You can talk to me, baby”

You glanced up at his pretty eyes, drooping with sleep but alive with concern and curiousity

“You don’t want kids with me?”

“What?” he asked confusedly. “Not right now, no. Maybe someday in the very distant future”

You turned your face into the pillow and let out a shaky breath. You had no idea what to do

“Y/N what’s wrong? C’mon you know I hate seeing you upset. It breaks my heart”

“Sammy, I’m pregnant” you whispered into the pillow, not daring to look at him

He pulled away from you slightly. “What?”

You kept your face in the pillow. What else could you say?

After what felt like a life time of silence, he gently reached out and stroked your hair

“Okay,” he began, placing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “We’ll figure it out. I’m here for you, baby”

Danny:

You danced from foot to foot nervously. Danny would be home soon and you had big news

He pranced through the front door, a stack of records in his hands

“Hi, pretty,” he smiled and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Whatcha been up to? I got a few records for you while I was out”

“I guess I got something for you too”

“Yeah? What’s that?” He laughed, putting on a record

“I’m pregnant” you blurted, shifting your eyes across his back

He whipped his head around to you, giving you an incredulous look

You pursed your lips as he stared, unsure of what to do

“You’re kidding, right?”

You shook your head, leaning against the wall. You weren’t sure how to feel about this, but Danny’s reaction didn’t make you feel great about the situation

“Oh,” he said quietly, lifting his hand to rub his chin. “This changes things”

“I’m scared, Dan”

His eyes softened and he made his way to you. He took you in his arms and rocked you back and forth

“We’ll be okay. We’re so good together. We can do anything”

“What about your job? We’re letting the boys down”

He grabbed your face and practically stared into your soul

“We’re not letting anyone down. If anything, they’ll be so excited to get a little niece or nephew. We’ll worry about the band when it’s time. For now, we need to focus on you and this baby. I love you so so much”

[amorest-viesse]

[A Well-Played Game of Lost-and-Found] - Chloe SR Card Story Translation

Ft. Heathcliff

If I Were a Statue… - Chapter 1

[Plaza]

Chloe: Look, Heath! Isn’t that bronze statue just the coolest? It’s so imposing!

Heathcliff: It truly is. The posture is so dynamic with the way its arms are flung out like that. There’s something in its hands too… a baton?

Chloe: Ooh, I think you’re right! The inscription says that this depicts a famous musician who was born here a few centuries ago. Apparently, they served in the royal palace!

Heathcliff: If that’s so, then this statue must be capturing them in the midst of a performance.

Chloe: They must have been a pretty passionate musician. It seems like the statue could spring to life at any moment now…

Chloe: …Oh! That gives me an idea!

Chloe: Hey, if we ever got statues made of us, what pose do you think we’d have?

Heathcliff: U- us? Like, if someone were to make statues of all the Sage’s wizards?

Chloe: Yeah, like that!

Chloe: Since we’re supposed to save the world and all, think of it like a way of commemorating us~ Doesn’t that sound plausible?

Chloe: I wonder what pose I should have. Maybe something like riding on a broom or doing a handstand!

Heathcliff: Ahaha, I think something lively would suit you well.

Chloe: Right? I’d want my statue to bring a smile to all who sees it.

Chloe: Hey Heath, what about you?

If I Were a Statue… - Chapter 2

Heathcliff: If I were a statue… Um, how about this?

Chloe: Oh that’s great! It’s so simple, yet elegant—way to be stylish!

Chloe: Ah, but if my statue were next to yours, it would clash wouldn’t it?

Chloe: Maybe it’d be better if I toned it down a bit.

Heathcliff: There’s no reason to do that.

Chloe: Heath…

Heathcliff: I think you had some great ideas earlier. I really like the poses you came up with.

Heathcliff: Not to mention, I’d be happy if my statue were next to yours. I don’t think it’d clash at all. If anything, it might make me look more natural.

Chloe: You really want our statues to be next to each other?

Heathcliff: Y- yes…

Heathcliff: Err, my apologies, was that a strange thing to say?

Chloe: Not at all! In fact, I’m really happy to hear it. Thanks so much, Heath!

Heathcliff: Y- you’re welcome.

Chloe: You have no idea how happy you’ve made me! I’m so, so happy. I’m so happy that I could start dancing, so happy that I could—

Heathcliff: Ahaha, I get it, I get it.

Chloe: …Ah!

[Hand grab]

Heathcliff: Huh!?

Chloe: What if I took your hand and we posed like we were in the middle of dancing?

Chloe: There are tons of paired statues around here. I was thinking it’d be fun to make up our own matching poses too…

Heath: I- I think that’d be a great idea.

Chloe: Great! Let’s give it a try right now!

Chloe: Three, two, one, go!

All Fired Up - Card Episode

[Courtyard]

Akira: Hey Chloe, what are you doing with all that fabric?

Chloe: Master Sage! I was spreading everything out, so I can decide which ones to use for my next outfit!

Chloe: After seeing all the artwork in Picto’s Museum, I was hit with so much inspiration. I really, really wanna make something special, something revolutionary!

Akira: That sure sounds like you. Were there any pieces that inspired you in particular?

Chloe: Hmm, well, there was a sculpture of a woman wearing a dress that stood out to me. Even though it was carved from stone, the fabric looked so realistic, and it seemed like her hair was actually fluttering in the wind…

Chloe: I wanted to touch it so bad just to make sure it was really stone!

Akira: Oh, I remember seeing that statue too! You can’t help but stare at it…

Chloe: Right? I was looking at it for a pretty long time too.

Chloe: Oh, but Rustica and Heath were also with me, and they were noticing all kinds of details that I didn’t even pick up on like the quality of the material or the era that it came from.

Chloe: Both of them are so refined and have such a keen eye for art. I learned so much just from listening to them!

Chloe: I wanna strive to be like that someday too. I think it’d make me appreciate the arts even more than I already do.

Home Screen Voice Line

“Rail.. roads? Air… planes? You sure have a lotta ways to travel in your world, but nothing beats a handy-dandy broomstick! Imagine drifting through a starry sky to the sound of Rustica’s singing… Someday, I’d like to take you on a trip like that too.”

[aminiatureworld]

Enigmatic Feelings

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,544

Warnings: None

Premise: Love is a potent force. And sometimes little things take on larger meanings, especially when one party is unaware of them.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous

Author’s Note: This trope is 100% my guilty pleasure. I hope I did it justice.

I also realized while writing this that all these characters have the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, but they’re trying their best, so that’s what counts.

Albedo

Albedo was many things. A great alchemist, a man of secrets, a weapon with which one might someday bring destruction. He was even a lover, albeit an unpracticed one. But what he was not was emotional. Or so he thought.

Of course Albedo knew what jealousy was, knew the sort of stupidity that people could fall into when altogether too infatuated with their own love. But just because one knows what jealousy is does not mean one must fall prey to such things. Or so Albedo assumed.

It was the fourth day in a row that a knight had approached your door. Friedrich was his name, and he was doing a stellar job at capturing your attention, and pulling on emotions that Albedo had long told himself he didn’t contain.

Today the flower was a Windwheel Aster, swaying this way and that in the pocket of space between your two hands. You were smiling at it, or rather at Friedrich, brightly, fingers mere moments away from Friedrich as you went to claim the fourth flower this week. Though the was nothing necessarily untoward in Friedrich’s movements, and Albedo would much rather a person of integrity be attempting to woo you, even if the idea itself turned knots in his stomach; nevertheless it still left a bad taste in the alchemist’s mouth, and a worry in his heart that he was not so immune to jealousy as he’d previous assumed.

“Thank you!” You spoke to Friedrich, giving one last wave before walking back over to Albedo. “Albedo look! It’s a Windwheel Aster. It’s very nice of Friedrich to give me one, maybe I can use it, or maybe it’ll be helpful for your experiments?”

“Yes, thank you. I, I think you should keep it.”

As much as Albedo wanted to take the flower and throw it in the incinerator, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the smile on your face. No matter how dearly it cost him to see you smile down once more at the delicate red petals. And no matter how much it haunted him the rest of the day to imagine you, face framed by a smile, a bouquet of a random knight’s making in your hands.

That knight as Albedo put away the Bunsen burners and the graduated cylinders he kept his mind preoccupied by thoughts of you. Surely he had to tell you his feelings, for if not they would keep building in his chest; building and building until one day he erupted, with you in the line of fire rather than the knight who was creating this whole dilemma, perhaps even unwittingly. Though Albedo had never been in a relationship before he knew stories. Weren’t books full of those kinds of moments? Men, women, people, all of them running over one another in their misunderstanding, in their overwhelming guilt.

No, he wouldn’t turn out like that, wouldn’t let the two of you be hurt in such a way. He had to tell you. Had to make you understand how much his chest constricted when he saw you carrying the gifts of others, had to let it be known before he lost control of these emotions. After all, wasn’t that what happened with emotions? They grow and grow and one day they spill over. And Albedo never wanted these emotions to spill over. No matter the cost.

“May I tell you something?”

The sunlight was streaming through the laboratory windows, the air warm enough that Sucrose had tied up her hair during her shift. And yet Albedo felt cold, oh so cold. He was going to tell you today. He hadn’t been able to tell you three days ago, nor two days ago, nor yesterday. And now the bouquet of flowers that occupied a tiny glass on the windowsill felt quite large indeed. Today would be day eight if Friedrich showed up at lunchtime, and before that Albedo would tell you.

“Of course you can Albedo, I’m all ears!”

You turned around, a soft smile once more spreading across your face. Putting down the pencil you’d been holding you leaned back against the lab table. Albedo took in a deep breath. He could do this. He would do this. He had to do this. No matter what, today. Today, he would do this.

“I-I’m jealous.” The words hung in the air for a moment, as if not understood.

“Jealous?” You tilted your head slightly, worry making your smile slip. “Albedo, jealous of what?”

“Of Friedrich, of you and Friedrich, or rather, I mean, of Friedrich giving you flowers.” Albedo paused, words tangling in his mouth, tripping on each other in an attempt to be understood. What if this was a mistake.

“Albedo,” you shook you head softly, walking over to cup your partner’s face, “I promise that there’s nothing in it. The flowers are lovely, of course, but nothing in this world could replace or stem my love for you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Albedo replied hurriedly, worried still that he might be misunderstood, “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, or say that I doubt you. My love, I will never doubt you. I just, I just feel so uncomfortable when he brings you flowers. It feels like, like I don’t know; it feels like I’m being poisoned, suddenly and all at once. And I don’t want it to affect the way I act towards you. So, so I wanted to tell you. You don’t have to stop, if those flowers make you happy then that’s what matters. But, but I just wanted to tell you.”

You said nothing, staring into Albedo’s eyes, gaze piercing through the alchemist. It was always that way with you. How you managed to destroy the control he thought he had, the wall he’d erected between himself and humanity. How you made him feel unsure and fallible and whole. And, just as before, now your gaze softened and you shook your head, your smile a balm for the raw unfamiliarity of putting together emotions.

“It’s okay Albedo, I’m glad you told me. Just like my emotions matter to you, I’d rather not see you unhappy. To be honest, I just never saw Friedrich’s actions in the way that he probably meant them. We all struggle with our feelings sometimes, I do just like you. Just as long as well tell each other, all will be well. Alright?”

“Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what I do without you.”

“Well you’ll never have to find out, so it doesn’t matter!”

There was no eighth flower that day, at least not one that was successfully given. Albedo supposed that he could pity Friedrich, but in reality he felt nothing but relief. The emotions that had left such a bad taste in his mouth seemed so far away now, for there was you, only you. It would only ever be you for him, and the days in which you said the same thing of him Albedo felt as if he could truly be happy, and truly acknowledge the emotions that swirled inside him, the love for you so great it spilled over into a vast ocean.

 Diluc

Diluc found most merchants loathsome, something perhaps not entirely fair considering his own status as a mover of goods.

Still, merchants in general were an unlikeable bunch. Prone to complacency and greed, this elite circle was comprised of people who thought of little than of ways to line their pockets anew. It disgusted Diluc and as he stood there, watching as a man who had enough jewelry on his body to weigh down a pack mule and a smile that made one want to run in the other direction, throw compliments and boasts your way, the winery owner was reminded about all that was wrong with the world in which he worked.

“So your goal is to attempt to find a route through which we might trade our wine in Inazuma?” You repeated the words the man had just spoken, expression skeptical. “As much as it would mean good business to begin another trade route, I believe the border restrictions will cause no little difficulty.”

“Restrictions such as those are nothing for a man like me.” The merchant smile once more and Diluc felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. “I have the ability to wave past such an issue. Indeed with the right price I believe I could expand your network to include all of the seven major lands, if you haven’t been trading internationally.”

“Thank you for your offer.” You replied, too focused on the work in front of you to notice the merchant’s roving sort of gaze. “I’ll see what Master Diluc has to say. However I warn you, as much as international exports are important for a growing trade, smuggling wine into locked countries will do little good. Especially considering what the damage could do to this winery’s reputation if such a thing was found out.”

“Don’t worry, I assure you my methods are completely secure. In fact, if you’d like to discuss it in more depth, I do believe that I may be able to enlighten you over a meal.”

“Perhaps, although Master Diluc would certainly have to be there.” You smiled slightly, and Diluc wondered for a moment if you were being purposefully oblivious or simply didn’t notice the meaning behind the merchant’s words.

“I will be back tomorrow, perhaps you’ll have an answer then?”

“I’m sure I will.” You replied, smiling as the two of you shook hands. As the merchant walked out of the winery your smile morphed into a sort of smirk and you looked up towards the balcony of the second floor.

“You can come out now Diluc, I know you’re there.”

Diluc couldn’t help but smile at those words, he truly couldn’t get anything past you. Hurrying down the stairs he swept you up in his arms, sighing slightly into your neck as you tightened the embrace.

“Ever so observant, my darling.”

“I know that you’d never let a transaction or a business conversation take place without your knowledge.” There was a playfulness to your voice, coming from the knowledge that you were utterly correct. “Still, you could’ve come downstairs you know. I don’t think that anyone would need to believe that you were going through your ‘very important paperwork, and lurking around is your night job.’”

“It seemed somehow wrong to suddenly appear in front of you two and derail the conversation.” Diluc drew away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, chuckling when you immediately wrinkled it. “Especially since you were doing so well on your own.”

“Oh he’s just like the rest of them,” you sighed, “altogether a bit too full of themselves.”

“Especially in this one’s case.” Diluc said, finally letting a scowl cross his face.

“What do you mean?”

The look on your face was one of innocence and confusion, and for a moment Diluc felt his thoughts stammer, as he realized that you truly were unaware of the way that the merchant was looking at you, unaware of the manner which caused Diluc even now to continue to press his hand gently against your lower back. If you didn’t notice it, then surely Diluc was overreacting, surely there was no reason for his heart to stutter and his stomach to drop. Surely there was no reason, and surely he shouldn’t tell you.

“Nothing at all, I just didn’t like his face.” He hurried now to reply, realizing how odd his pause must’ve seemed. “Will you be accepting his proposal for a business dinner?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt. And then it might be a good venue for the two of you to talk. Since you find him especially ghastly, I think a more public meeting might be easier.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think that invitation was meant for me.” Diluc replied, before realizing his gaffe and falling silent.

“What? What do you mean of course it’s meant for you. I mean you are the owner of the Winery. Who else would it be for?”

“For, for you my darling. Why else would he ask you in such a way?” Diluc tried to keep the acid out of his words. It wasn’t your fault after all. It wasn’t your fault that some louche was asking after you.

“But I’m not the one in charge.” You furrowed your brow. “I can’t make the final decision. And I won’t allow him to attempt to bypass getting your permission either.”

“My darling, I, I think he meant it a different way.”

“What way?”

Diluc sighed, capitulating quickly to his want to tell you. Even if it was perhaps selfish of him, he was never truly good at keeping his feelings masked away, at least in a way that didn’t result in him completely shutting down. And you meant to much to him than for Diluc to try and lie to you.

“You see, I think he was attempting to ask you on a more romantic sort of dinner.”

“What?”

Your reaction was immediate, your expression quickly turning into one of shock and then of disgust. Letting out a groan you buried your face into the front of Diluc’s coat, eliciting a short laugh from its owner.

“Why? I… I… Even if I weren’t in love with you I’d never go out to dinner with him.”

“I don’t think he would appreciate the sentiment.”

“Diluc.” You let out another groan, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the thought. “Archons, ugh thank you for telling me. I, disgusting.”

Diluc said nothing, simply tightening the hold of his arms around you. Though your reaction was certainly justifiable he knew there was something more behind them, and he felt grateful for your consideration. Though he knew that would always have been your reaction, it didn’t stop the pressure that ha been building in his chest, the thoughts that screamed what if, what if, what if. What if there is something better than you.

“Hey, are you alright?” You voice drifted up through the fabric of Diluc coat. He smiled, relaxing his grasp around you and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“I will be. May I hold you a little longer?”

“Of course. You’re the only one for me, you know.”

“And you for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Those words, though so small, were somehow enough.

 Xiao

The new guest at the inn had been speaking to you for quite some time. That was Xiao’s first observation. The second was that you didn’t seem to mind. The third was that for some reason he suddenly felt incredibly irritated.

It was a beautiful evening, the kind that would’ve normally had you and Xiao sitting on the roof together, fingers entwined, the silence of nature cushioning the two of your from the outside world. It was a ritual, something that Xiao had come to rely on, had come to almost sanctify. Yet here he was, sitting on one of the thicker branches of the trees that dotted the outside of the Inn, trying desperately to quench the anger that bloomed in his chest as he watched you and the guest talk the minutes away.

Perhaps the worst part was that you didn’t seem to mind. Instead of pulling the conversation towards a close, you seemed perfectly content to keep talking, smiling brightly and quickly answering the questions of this uninvited guest. Normally Xiao didn’t care about , or rather didn’t keep track of, the people you spoke to. Of course you would have friends, would have people that mattered to you. Just because Xiao had disconnected himself from humanity didn’t mean that you had to. So why was he so angry?

His patience ran out when the guest reached for your hand. Sidling next to you as fast as he could Xiao peeled off his invisibility, enjoying the shock that registered across the uninvited guest’s face as he moved his hand back. Reaching to entwine his hand with yours Xiao shifted his gaze towards your face. Shock was painted into your expression, but there was also something else, a glimmer of happiness or of satisfaction. Somehow it unnerved Xiao, and he focused instead on the task at hand, whatever that task was.

“It’s getting late.”

“Oh, of course.” Turning back to the guest you smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but perhaps we’ll speak again some other time?”

“Gladly!” The man’s face lit up, before Xiao’s glaring left him scampering down the steps.

“Xiao, is something wrong?” The question was so genuine, without any sense of knowing more than you let. Unfortunately the question was also unanswerable.

“It’s late. We should go.” Xiao gestured towards the roof, hoping the reminder would flush the question out of your head.

“You’re right, I suppose it is getting late. And we wouldn’t want to waste such a wonderful evening.” You smiled. And yet somehow Xiao felt unplacated. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why, why did the question hang in the air, and why did the discontent remain?

The next day was a lazy one, as Xiao waited for you to be done with work. More than usual he missed you, and he wished that the hours would go faster, so he might be able to once more enjoy your presence, to banish the discontent that he still felt, evening after an hour spent wholly in your company.

Eventually the sun made its descent from the heavens, and Xiao pulled himself once more to the perch on the tree he’d taken the night before. Gazing down at the balcony he saw the familiar figure of the unwanted guest, and a stab of anger flashed through him. This was made all the worse by your entrance, and the fact you once more stopped to make time for this intruder.

The man was just as insufferable as before, full of jokes that Xiao didn’t understand and words that though praising of you felt somewhat hollow, almost insulting. You laughed along to these jokes, smiled at these odd compliments. And when the man asked if you might be willing to talk more over some sort of meal you merely smiled.

Xiao, however, found the whole ordeal unbearable. Why should this person be asking all these things, be prying you with words of intimacy and familiarity. Had he not arrived yesterday? Was he not an utter stranger? Confusion mixed with irritation in Xiao’s head, and he found it difficult to hold on to the stony reason he’d built up. What was going on? What was this terrible feeling of anger and want? He couldn’t understand human ways. Less could he understand why they should have any sort of effect on him.

Still he had to do something. Had to do anything. Swooping down once more Xiao began the same charade. This time, however, the man merely jumped, and for all his glaring Xiao couldn’t dislodge the guest from his place on the balcony.

“It’s late.”

“Ah it is. Are you hungry?” He asked, addressing you once more.

“I’m not at all, but Xiao’s right. It is late. If you haven’t eaten yet then perhaps you should. Smiley Yanxiao is quite strict about his rest.”

“Ah, then perhaps you’re right. Still, why not join me? You can tell me your name, and we can talk a little more about the things you do.”

“You don’t even know their name.” Xiao spat out the sentence, barely able to contain the odd sort of irritation that still spun around him. He asked you all those questions, said all those words of praise, all without knowing your name. It felt somehow dehumanizing, somehow… wrong.

“I would be glad to learn it.” The man smiled.

Xiao simply shook his head. He needed to leave. It was becoming too much again, and the last thing Xiao wanted was for a stranger to see him this way, see him unsure and confused and not a little frightened of these alien emotions. Glaring at the man one more time Xiao scooped you up. Ignoring the surprised shriek that you let out he shot up into the sky, moving towards the familiar sanctuary of Jueyen Karst, deeply grateful that the guest, whatever he could do, could never fly.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, barely giving Xiao the time to set you down onto one of Liyue’s sloping peaks before asking him the one question he couldn’t answer.

“Nothing.”

“Well it’s certainly not nothing. You’re being awfully rude to that guest, and I can’t understand why. Usually you don’t really care about those sorts of things. So something must be wrong, and I want to know what it is.”

A pause.

“Please.”

“I can’t.” It was all Xiao could say, the only thing that would truly encompass the truth, because in truth he couldn’t. He himself didn’t understand it.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“My chest hurts.”

“What?” Immediately your face shifted into one of worry, and you placed a soft hand over Xiao’s heart. Somehow the gesture was calming, and Xiao closed his eyes, enjoying the receding of the hot bands that had just been restricting him.

“My chest hurt when I saw you with that, that guest. My chest hurt and I felt angry. That’s what’s wrong. My chest hurt, but now it doesn’t; and I don’t understand it.”

There was a pause, and Xiao studied the expressions on your face, watched as they shifted from worry to confusion to caution.

“Xiao, is it possible you were jealous?”

“No.” The idea was somehow insulting.

“It’s alright to be jealous Xiao. It just means you care about someone very much. You don’t have to just dismiss it like that. I want to make sure that you’re alright, so please be honest. Is it possible you were jealous?”

Xiao let another gap form in the conversation, trying to figure out how to answer. The suggestion felt demeaning, felt as if he somehow had no control over himself, no trust of you. And yet it somehow made sense, and even as he shook his head he found himself letting out a different answer.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay if you don’t. I know that new emotions can be frightening, can be difficult to deal with. But Xiao, I’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter who else I meet or what else happens in my life. I love you the way that a bird loves the sky. You’re a part of my life I could never lose. So even if this isn’t jealousy, even if I’m wrong, I still want to let you know. I love you.”

Xiao sighed, a smile finally gracing his lips, the pain in his chest finally melting away. What did he ever do to deserve such a person as you, he would never know. He wished he could repeat those words back to you word for word, wished that he could explain that his love for you was all encompassing, had seeped through the cracks of his existence and his life. He wished he could form together the words necessary to convey his love for you. Even if it was impossible he still wished it.

So instead he leaned over towards you. Letting out a gentle sigh he brought his lips to yours, reveling in the soft sensation of your mouth against his, reveling in the way you leaned against him, bringing you arm up to his neck, letting out a soft breath of contentment as the two of you disconnected.

You didn’t ask him anything else, and for the rest of the evening you two sat on the grass, watching the fireflies dance around you as you leaned against one another.

Perhaps Xiao didn’t yet understand the extent to which he loved you, the emotions that had now risen up, given life by the love you’d poured into the adeptus. Perhaps he didn’t understand this yet, but he knew that all would be well. For with you all that irritation seemed so far away, as if it belonged to a Xiao of yesterday. Because here and now you two were together, breathing in the same mutual contentment, the same mutual trust, the same mutual love. And that present was more important than any jealousy could be.

 Zhongli

Looking back on the matter Zhongli admitted that maybe pretending the problem didn’t exist was probably not the best solution.

It was only that you two had seemed so oddly content in talking, so, compatible, that Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent, a tension that spread through his jaw and down to his stomach. He didn’t quite understand the nature of the emotion that now spread over him, but he did understand that it was connected to the bond that was now forming between you and the vendor in front of you.

“Dearest one.” He spoke softly, walking over to where you now stood.

“Oh, Zhongli!” Your face lit up as usual, and the ex-archon felt a piece of him uncoil. At least some things seemed to be unchanging, just as wonderful today as they had been the day before.

“I’ve been looking for you. I know you spoke of wanting to learn more about the nature of Cor Lapis, and the tea shop has been offering a new brew. Perhaps we could share a drink?”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” Turning around towards the vendor you smiled gently. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to try that lovely soup you were speaking of some other time.”

“Not at all!” The vendor’s smile was good natured, and Zhongli didn’t understand why he nevertheless felt a twinge of uncertainty. “I look forward to it. I hope you two have a nice day, and we’ll talk about it more later.”

Though the stall receded into the distance as the two of you turned the corner, Zhongli couldn’t help but let the moment run through his mind once more, finding it as sore to think about as a bruise might be to the touch.

“That vendor? Oh they’re new on the scene.” You smiled, taking a sip of tea.

The tea house was as calming as ever, the noises of the outside a distant song, and the hushed whispers inside adding to the intimate atmosphere. Zhongli normally loved to sit here, drinking cup after cup of tea, watching as the people came and went about their business, immersed in a small fragment of Liyue life. Now, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the vendor. If he closed his eyes he could still remember their face, and the way yours was lit up while they were talking to you.

“Their name is Eli.” You continued on, oblivious to the way Zhongli’s hand tightened around his teacup. “They said that they set up shop maybe… two weeks ago? It hasn’t been a very long time, and they’re still struggling a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get their business off the ground, who knew that street food was such a cutthroat world.”

“The city of Liyue is full of people who might make their way in the world, doing whatever they can. Perhaps it is unsurprising that competition is second nature to Liyue’s citizens.” Zhongli replied, hoping his tone wasn’t too curt. If it was you didn’t seem to mind, nodding softly in agreement.

“Speaking of Liyue and stories, perhaps you would like to tell me the story you were going to tell? I very much doubt that Cor Lapis is the blood of Morax.”

“How humans love to spin their stories.” Zhongli chuckled.

But even as he began to speak of jewels and pressure and the minerals that lay deep beneath the earth a bit of him was still preoccupied by the vendor’s easy words and your smiling face.

The next time he ran into you with the vendor the pit in his stomach had only gotten heavier. Standing a little ways away he let the conversation between the two of you flow in and out his ear, frown slipping deeper the more he heard.

“I cannot believe that your stall nearly caught fire on your first day! How unlucky.”

“Even worse that I didn’t know who to try and tell about it. If I had known you were part of the Guild then I would’ve asked you.”

“Well next time there are troubles you can just send a message to the Adventurer’s Guild. We can’t have our citizens being injured on our watch.”

“You sound like true heroes. I wish I could do the sorts of things you did. Your commissions sound fascinating! I would love to see how you go about your day some time.”

“Really it’s nothing, most days it’s quite boring really, just like any other job. Still, it’s nice to know that people have an interest in what we do.”

“Oh certainly! I find what you do very interest– ”

“My dearest one!” Zhongli called out, unable to continue listening to the conversation, feeling somewhat guilty and certainly upset. You turned slightly, smile brightening as you saw your partner.

“Zhongli! So sorry that I didn’t meet you outside your office, I must’ve lost track of the time. Eli here was telling me all about their first days at work.”

“I’m sorry that I got out late. I hope that you did not have to wait awhile.”

“Oh not at all Zhongli, like I said I’ve just been standing here. You don’t need to feel bad at all!”

“I’m glad. Perhaps now we can go?”

Zhongli attempted to smile, but it felt a lot more like a grimace. You stared at him, face the picture of confusion. Taking a step forward you glanced one more time at Eli, shrugging apologetically. Before any more words could be passed between the two of you Zhongli grabbed onto your hand. Walking quite quickly he didn’t let go until the two of you were at your apartment and he could finally breathe again.

“Zhongli, what’s the matter with you?” You asked, closing the apartment door behind you. Walking back towards Zhongli, who stood there silently, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders. “You can tell me you know, I can tell you’re unhappy.”

“I have a confession.” Zhongli started, feeling somehow compelled to reveal his thoughts, as if keeping them locked away would only be dangerous.

“Yes?”

“I, I did not like the way that the vendor spoke to you.”

“Eli? But they were perfectly nice.”

“I do not mean that they were rude. They were perfectly cordial. I mean, when the two of you were speaking, I, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if there was a barrier between us in that moment. I, I did not like it.”

“Oh Zhongli.” You breathed out, an indulgent smile on your face.

Reaching up you planted fleeting kisses on the archon’s face, peppering his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, touch featherlight. It was a familiar gesture, one of comfort, one used in darker nights, when shadows dotted the periphery of Zhongli’s vision.

“Zhongli, I assume you know what jealousy is?”

“I know the term and what it means. I admit I am not personally familiar with the concept.”

“Well I am, so let me tell you. What you experienced, that was jealousy, plain and simple. I know it’s very uncomfortable. Jealousy can be such a messy feeling, it sticks everywhere. But it’s also normal. So you don’t need to worry. I promise that nothing will happen, and I promise that these feelings would go away. I also promise that I love you very much, so even if you feel these emotions, you don’t have to worry.”

“How could I ever worry about you?” Zhongli murmured, wrapping his arms around you, basking in your proximity.

The apology only came in the evening, after words and kisses and love had hung long enough in the air to dull the feelings that Zhongli had been carrying around. Now he lay there next to you, chin resting gently on your head, suddenly realizing that he’d most likely acted quite rudely.

“I’m sorry I ignored Eli.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand.” You murmured. “Though I’m not actually sure what got you riled up about them.”

“You are also a bit oblivious dearest one,” Zhongli let out a soft laugh, “it seems they were quite taken with you.”

“Were they?” You asked, tone betraying your surprise. You paused for a moment, as if trying to replay your interactions. “I never noticed. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever notice, not when I have you.”

“Thank you.” Zhongli whispered, oddly overcome by the confession.

As he lay awake, carding gentle fingers through your hair and listening to the even breaths of your sleeping form he pondered just how lucky he was. Precious gems might come from pressure and earth and chance. But you were more precious than all of them. And he’d never forget that.

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE EIGHTEEN || SAGE

↳ featuring : basically everyone at this point from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of blood + mention of killing + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 10 april

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 3.8k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : kyoto sister school exchange event - group battle 3

↳ next episode : black flash

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, i did cringe a bit writing this episode for some reason ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ but also i have been getting a lot of asks in my inbox asking me if you can add me on genshin impact, and i am not opposed to that! just tell me in advance  ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ also volume one of komi can’t communicate came in today! also...the idea i have is coming in soon...so beware.....BUT thank you so much for being so patient with the series and hope you enjoy this special cup of classic black coffee ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5. for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique : hopefully this video is slightly better...

Destructive Curse Spell Number Fifty-Four : Haien : 6:08-6:12 (but like it’s more emphasised to look like this : 1:55-2:05)

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“Where the hell is Fushiguro, right now?” you muttered under your breath as you swiftly ran around the extremely large building you were currently in right now after trying to run away from Kyoto student: Kamo Noritoshi, who seemed too adamant to catch you for some odd reason.

At this current moment in time, you were desperately trying to find your partner after instantly splitting up with him when you both had entered the building causing you to become concerned for the shikigami user since his opponent didn’t seem to be holding back. Even though in the back of your mind, this was your one and only opportunity to go and find the curse you needed to exorcise for your school team to win the first day of the Exchange Event, you knew that the second that Kamo could sense your curse energy leave the premises, he would turn away from his battle and chase you down leaving Fushiguro the role of trying to locate you - which was going to be difficult for him.

Digging into your skirt pocket, you quickly pulled out a fist that had a few pink petals that you had kept after you had used some of them to attack Kamo earlier before gradually transferring some of your cursed energy within them. Slowly, you processed to open your palm letting the same blush coloured petals begin to glide into the air allowing them to travel down the hall you were running through right now causing specks of your cursed energy to be located everywhere they moved to lead your opponents to be somewhat confused about where you really were right now.

                                              ꕥ

“Your team partner seemed to be the smart type,” Kamo mentioned as he turned his head to look behind him since he slowly began to sense the chaotic flow of cursed energy that was beginning to vastly surround the building right now as he was quickly struggling to locate the original source of the cursed energy that he needed to find, which was you.

“She’s always been the smart type, it’s quite scary in my opinion,” Fushiguro commented before raising his tonfas in a defensive position before taking the time given to him to try to locate where you were before giving up the second he tried once his discovered how immense your cursed energy was flowing in the building right now.

‘What the hell? How does she do that?’

Hastily, Fushiguro lunged himself forward as he attempted to attack Kamo leading his opponent to block his hit before suddenly retaliating, only for Fushiguro to defend himself quickly as well. However, it seemed as if both sorcerers were not going to give up as easily as a continuous row of attacks commenced between the two causing them to travel backwards and forwards along the hallway they were in right now.

Suddenly, there was a violent contact with the backs of their wrists leading Kamo to proceed to swiftly turn his body to the side of the opposition as he forcibly thrust his palm out towards the shikigami user causing Fushiguro to use his remaining tonfa to block his attack causing his weapon to snap in half as well as him being pushed back to the other side of the hallway where he first stood.

Staring down at the now tattered wooden weapon, Fushiguro casually threw it to the side leading Kamo to begin to spew out with what was currently running through his mind.

“Shikigami users who can fight this well in close combat are precious, you’ve improved. I’m happy,” Kamo expressed with an impressed tone, leading Fushiguro to unexpectedly cringe at the amount of time you had beaten him up during the past two months of training you both had together.

“What is this sense of fellowship you keep throwing out?” Fushiguro asked in an irritated tone since he wasn’t in the mood to converse about anything to do with the clans at this moment in time.

“I’m sympathising, someday you’ll be one of those supporting the major clans, well maybe the four major clans if the L/N remained after the Heian Era,” Kamo suggested, causing the erratic-haired sorcerer to look at the opposition with a deadpan expression painted on his face.

“Gojo doesn’t even support the clans even though she is in the Gojo clan,” Fushiguro reminded Kamo leading to the sorcerer in front of him to shift slightly as if the news to him was surprising at all since it seemed as if you and the strongest sorcerer was ‘close’ despite the joking tension between you both.

“I intend to kill Itadori Yuji,” Kamo suddenly announced, as if that was not known to everyone within the Tokyo team right now.

“On Principal Gakuganji’s orders? So why chase after Gojo?” Fushiguro questioned, as he was still perplexed on why the blood manipulation sorcerer would go after you if his main priority was to eliminate his friend and classmate.

“No, it’s my personal decision. As a member of the Kamo clan, one of the three major clans, I believe that’s the right call,” Kamo answered before going silent, as if he had something in mind currently before he began to voice his opinion once again, “you should be able to understand that, too,”.

“Sorry, but I really don’t get it at all”

Suddenly, Kamo unexpectedly left something lightly slice his cheek slightly causing him to turn to view what was behind him to notice that you were standing there with your armed raised up, leading him to turn back forward to discover your katana piercing the wall that was behind Fushiguro (who looked at you with widened eyes) as your teammate managed to move his head to the side in time before your weapon pierced him instead.

“Oh, I missed,” you commented as you noticed a hint of blood escaping from his small wound, before using your other hand to violently pull the invisible chain of your katana back like a boomerang leading Kamo to swiftly dodge the weapon this time, while being surprised on how you had managed to retrieve your sword back without moving an inch towards it.

“What do you mean? You, me and Fushiguro are the same,” Kamo then declared, causing you to give him an extremely offended look from behind before turning to the side as if to convey to the sorcerer that you weren’t going to listen to him anymore.

“No, we’re not,” Fushiguro replied with an annoyed as well as fed-up expression on his face, as he didn’t expect his opponent to say something as weird as he did right now.

‘He’s spouting some scary stuff all of a sudden...and couldn’t Gojo warn me about this little attack of hers?’

“We are,” Kamo responded, only for Fushiguro to retaliate back leading you to turn your head back to the conversation with a slightly vexed look since you didn’t want such a stupid discussion between two descendants of the three major clans to go on forever like this.

“We’re not, please save those discussions for Maki-san. I no longer have any connection with the Zenin clan,” Fushiguro informed his opponent causing Kamo to turn to you as if you would try to have an understanding of what he was trying to carry out.

“Remember, I don’t actually have any connections to the Gojo clan, I’m not related to them by blood and even if Gojo-sensei adopted me out of the blue,” you explained to Kamo while raising your hands up like you were surrendering when really you were trying to avoid any topic to do with the clans overall.

“Besides, I don’t believe I’m ‘right’. No, sorry. That’s not right, I don’t care if I’m right or wrong,” Fushiguro commented as he looked down towards his raised hand with a softened expression to which caused Kamo to turn back to the shikigami user.

“I just...have faith in my own good conscience, I save people according to my own conscience. If you would reject that, then...we’ll just have to curse each other,” Fushiguro suddenly declared, as a wave of cursed energy began to surround him causing you to sudden be on guard since you didn’t know what your classmate had prepared.

Unexpectedly, a shikigami frog appeared from the side causing you to prepare yourself in an attack stance in case Kamo decided to move towards you, to which he did turn to face you only for the same shikigami to dissolve into the shadow it had come from leading Kamo to open his eyes in shock at the common but smart strategy that the younger sorcerer had come up with.

“This one burns through cursed energy, so I can only use it by itself. I only recently tamed it,” Fushiguro explained before positioning his hands in front of him as he prepared the next shikigami that he was going to summon.

“Max elephant,” the shikigami user announced before the shadow below him began to merge into the shape of a pink elephant leading you to look at the animal with widened eyes as you didn’t expect such a large shikigami to appear right in front of you.

‘What the hell?’ you thought, as the elephant’s cheeks began to swell up while Kamo began to position himself into an attack position. However, it seemed the elephant was going to attack first as a suddenly sprouted out a massive wave of water that could fill up the ocean, causing you to yell out in shock before quickly deciding to stab your katana deeply into the ground to have something to hold on to as Kamo quickly swept into the mass of water leading to the wall behind to break.

“Maybe tell me when you are going to attack, you drag!” you yelled out to your classmate in anger as he rushed next to you causing your partner to look at you weirdly since you were kind of being hypocritical at this current moment in time.

“Just jump across to attack him while I use Nue to corner him!” Fushiguro stated to you in a serious tone, leading you to nod at him before launching yourself forward towards the sorcerer with your katana blade facing the opposite direction it was supposed to since you didn’t want to critically damage your opponent.

Behind you, Fushiguro interlocked his thumbs before fanning out the rest of his finger to represent wings as he swiftly summoned Nue into the battle leading the bird-like creature to strike him with lightning, paralysing Kamo for a second before he suddenly reached into his uniform to slowly reveal a bag of blood to which he then proceeded to throw the object in your direction, causing Nue to bump into you as if to move you away from the item as the blood bag quickly exploded causing the shikigami to be trapped within what seemed to be a rope of blood.

However, you could not let the sudden event faze you as you proceeded to place your foot to the side of the building you were pushed against before thrusting yourself downwards with extreme force to attack Kamo while Fushiguro dashed towards the same opponent to do the same thing.

“I can’t afford to lose!” Kamo screamed as he began to lung forward towards Fushiguro.

Suddenly, a large explosion destructively echoed behind you leading you to reach to the ground with one hand before riskily twisting the same hand to make your body spin before you quickly landed of your feet to the ground causing Fushiguro to look at you with a worried expression before all three of you peered up above to see a vast structure of what seemed to be wood, growing ever to rapidly in the air.

“What is this?” Kamo questioned in a panic before Fushiguro noticed someone running along the tiles rooftop from above.

“Inumaki-senpai?!” Fushguro yelled out in an alarmed tone causing you to look to the side to see your senior classmate running in what seemed to be incomplete adrenaline and fear.

“Run-away!” Inumaki spoke, causing his voice to ring out to everyone as they realised that it was his cursed technique that was occurring right now, causing your bodies to instantly run away from the mass destruction that was occurring right now.

                                              ꕥ

“Huh?” Utahime muttered as she stared at the how red flamed paper talisman while everyone in the room with her peered at them with the same surprised expression.

“The game’s over? And they all burned red?” Utahime questioned as the flames quickly extinguished themselves leading to a large volume of smoke remaining.

“That’s odd, my crows didn’t see anything,” MeiMei commented.

“I’d love to say Great Teacher Gojo’s students exorcised them all, but…” Gojo mentioned as he placed his hands together as if to tell everyone in the room that he was thinking of another solution that might have caused this issue as all the screens in front of them now became static.

“The charms will burn red for unregistered cursed energy,” Principal Yaga informed everyone.

“You think it’s an outsider? Some invader?” Utahime queried, as she turned to her colleague with a concerned expression on her face.

“Does this mean Tengen-sama’s barrier isn’t functioning?” MeiMei then asked, but it wasn’t answered as Principal Gakuganji made a comment. 

“Whether it’s an outsider or not, something unexpected is happening all the same,” he mentioned before wondering how this intruder was able to exorcise the semi-first-grade he had planted in order to assassinate Itadori Yuji.

“I’m going to Tengen-sama, Satoru and Principal Gakuganji, please protect the students. Mei, you stay here and identify the locations of the students, stay in constant contact with the other two,” Principal Yaga instructed everyone.

“Fully understood, I look forward to the bonus,” MeiMei mentioned, as she turned her head towards the sorcerer trying to convey that she was willing to follow his instruction with a price to pay.

“Come on, Gramps! Time for a walk! You just finished your lunch, didn’t you? I don’t want my daughter injured with you being slow!” Gojo stated in a light but playful tone as he clapped his hands twice to get the elder’s attention, leading the mentioned sorcerer to become silent and annoyed at the Six-Eye shaman.

“Let’s hurry!” Utahime mentioned as she was becoming worried about the time they were spending on talking in the room they were in rather than going out right now to help the students that were in trouble.

                                               ꕥ

Running forward, you couldn’t help but notice how the branch that was behind you was still extending leading you to quicken your pace as everyone turned to the right, only for the same branch to twist itself in the same directions causing you to come to the conclusion that it was either a skilled curse user or special-grade curse that was the cause of it.

‘Did the mole tell whoever is doing this the location of the event?’

Although, before you could come to another conclusion on who was the mole within the group of Kyoto students, you suddenly heard Fushiguro gasp leading you to snap out of your thinking daze to see a large number of branches breaking through the wooden door that was in front of you leading to a vast volume of debris to rushingly come towards you to which caused you to over your face, allowing the veil that was processing to drip down above you to engulf every student at this current moment in time.

Once the huge mass of debris cleared itself, you noticed the change in colour around you before you turned your head towards the mass of branches in front of you with what seemed to be a curse standing on top of its masterpiece as if to showcase its sudden appearance.

“Why is there a cursed spirit at Jujutsu Tech? Who does this veil belong to?” Kamo asked rapidly, as his head was tilted up to view the intruder in front of him.

“Probably the curse user working with the cursed spirit,” Fushiguro answered, as he too was looking at the curse in front of him leading Kamo to question his knowledge about the situation in hand, while Inumaki let out a cough, causing you to worry about his condition right now since you didn’t have a single clue on how much he had used his voice in the current situation.

“There are a few unregistered special-grade cursed spirits roaming around Japan right now, probably this one was the one that attacked Gojo-sensei before,” you informed the sorcerers in front of you as you slowly began to remember the silly little drawing your adoptive father had given you when you first met with the Kyoto side’s principal.

“Tuna with mayo,” Inumaki commented as he waved a hand to signal a phone leading Fushiguro to agree with his upperclassmen as he proceeded to pull out his phone to contact Gojo, while Kamo commented on how Fushiguro could understand his classmate at all since he was still perplexed on how the Toyko students could even convey with him as well.

‘Why does it only look at me…?’

Yet, it seems as if you weren’t concentrating on their little conversation as you kept an eye on the curse since it seemed to be staring at you for some odd reason, leading you to tightly grip the hilt of your katana, as you now shifted your eyes down to make sure your fellow sorcerers (who were in front of you right now) were safe for the time being.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Fushiguro mentioned, as he placed his phone to his ear. “Maintain our distance and retreat to Gojo-sensei- '' Fushiguro then explained, but before he could finish his sentence, the curse swiftly moved behind Kamo before proceeding to break Fushiguro’s device from his hand.

“Don’t move!” Inumaki yelled out, leading to the curse freezing in its position before attacking Kamo, leading everyone to keep a distance away from the special-grade curse.

Suddenly, Kamo grabbed another bag of blood that he kept hidden within his uniform before letting it explode once again as he began to maintain control of the red substance. “Blood Manipulation: Slicing Exorcism!” Kamo yelled out before swinging the blood shaped shuriken towards your opponent, only for the curse to be left unscathed leaving the sorcerer to be surprised at the outcome.

Before the curse could even react, Nue suddenly appeared above you before flying downwards towards the special-grade curse with the same purple lightning you have gotten used to before Fushiguro suddenly swept in close to slash the curse with a sword he was hiding within his shadow like you had taught him to within the first week of training. However, it seemed that the katana’s dent that was made only healed as quickly as it appeared causing Fushiguro to tut in complete annoyance.

“.nerdlihc hsiloof, ti potS,”

“Stop it, foolish children,” the curse suddenly said, causing you to grab your head in surprise as you didn’t expect the curse that was in front of you right now to communicate to you at all since you didn’t have a clue on what it was saying but you somehow could understand it.

“I merely wish to protect this planet, that’s all,” the curse then explained, causing you to prepare your cursed energy to flow from your hand to your katana since you now knew that you needed to use your cursed technique to keep the others safe - yet you didn’t know how you could conceal the risk of being discovered.

“It’s a curse spouting nonsense! Don’t listen!” Kamo exclaimed intensely.

“This is on a whole different level than lower-grade cursed spirits,” Fushiguro then commented to Kamo as if it was obvious enough to everyone that was around that opponent at this current moment in time.

“The forests, the oceans, and the sky, all weep so vehemently that I can no longer stand it. It’s impossible to coexist with humans any longer. They know there are some humans who are kind to the planet, but how much does their affection even help?” the curse declared as it raised its head up to the sky as if it was speaking to a whole nation.

‘It somehow established its own language system...and somehow manages to communicate with us…’

“All they desire is time. This planet can shine blue once more, given a bit of time,” the curse spoke again before a sudden twist of branches appeared right behind the curse leading everyone that was in front of it to be on guard as the sudden impact that caused the ground to shake was evident enough on how dangerous this opponent was.

“Gojo Y/N...You can’t run, the veil is designed to keep you trapped within here...We need you for what is going to commence,” the curse suddenly declared causing you to look at it with wide eyes while all the boys turned to you with panicked expression painted on their faces since they were now concerned with your safety more right now than theirs.

‘I don’t know how long this curse spell will last, but I need to make sure it is enough to let everyone run before it can reach them’

“Is that so? Ah..what a drag,” you then asked, as you raised your katana up in the air with one hand as you gradually began to transfer a large amount of cursed energy within the blade. “You see, I began to notice that you seem to be a plant type of curse, I assume...something like wood right?” you rhetorically asked, before using your other hand to cover your mouth with the back of it to conceal the next few words that were going to come out of your mouth.

“Destructive Curse Spell number fifty-four: Haien,” you whispered before a sudden flame began to engulf the metal blade leading the boy to look at your weapon in astonishment at how wild the flames seemed to be due to the amount of cursed energy you had placed within the same blade. “So...why don’t you just burn to death them, would you?” you threatened in a low tone causing the boys to dash behind you before you swung your katana downwards to allow the flames to wildly and uncontrollably burst out in front of the special-grade curse leading to the building behind it to begin slowly extinguishing with the massive flames.

Turning around, you grabbed the fabric of Fushiguro’s and Inuamki’s uniforms (while yelling at Kamo to run) before using your strength as well as a hint of your cursed energy to violently push them forward away from the flames before running towards the same direction with them since this was the perfect opportunity to make a dash for it without any of the boys getting injured or harm in the process.

‘Whoever is responsible for the veil...is going to die..’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost