#these three are soooooo brother coded to me

[freakurodani]

i feel like suga sees kageyama and tsukishima as younger brothers, but for different reasons. kageyama genuinely looks up to him as a mentor and he's so serious but suga finds it so endearing when kageyama tries to soften his edges to communicate with the team. tsukishima is also so serious and unflappable it activates sugas older brother instincts to poke and prod at him and the best suga gets is a mild (but irritated) "please stop" but its funny every time, and yeah, suga laughs at them, but its good natured and full of affection bc somehow the two biggest first years (those jerks) are also the cutest

[edutainer2022]

This was supposed to be for laughs, mostly (but ended up more sinister). It's March of the OCs, but I don't really do OCs. So they only have dialogue in this, but there IS a bit of backstory implied. I do think the Tracies would have inevitably pinned themselves on the radar of some counterterrorism or intelligence division of the GDF. I also maybe watched too much "Criminal Minds", "NCIS", and "Scorpion". This takes place after "Space Race".

PERSON OF INTEREST

"Please, tell me he didn't do it!"

"I'm afraid he did. The kid's space-rated. With parental concent."

"Ó meu Deus, what was Scott THINKING!?"

"I could throw together a quick profile, but I'm fairly certain that was a rhetorical question."

"The child is TWELVE!"

"Fourteen."

"Yeah, that changes everything and makes him soooooo much more qualified to DISARM AN ORBITAL NUKE!"

"..."

"Which... he wouldn't have done without assistance and intel."

"Now we're talking!"

"That's a moot point, anyway. We can't interrogate the boy without a legal guardian present."

"Who is on approach now and due to arrive from an earthquake in Peru in... about seven minutes."

"Four, if he pushes it to Mach 19. Which he will."

"So we don't have much time to coordinate a strategy. I think you better run point on the interview."

"That's... not necessarily a good idea."

"Listen, I'm the Big, Bad, Unknown Quantity guy, who's threatening the pup."

"That's his baby brother."

"Immaterial. Scott Tracy is a pack leader. That's his pup. He's gonna snarl, growl, bare his teeth and bark till I go away and not be a danger to his kid anymore. THEN he's gonna lawyer the child up, down and backwards. Probably the ginger Spaceman too."

"And you think he's gonna be less hostile if it's ME in the interrogation room? You HAVE read my file. We didn't exactly part on amicable terms. He's not going to be more forthcoming if it's me."

"No. But the boy might. He's raised in the household with strong, charismatic  female figures. He's not gonna be intimidated. If the child is not scared, Scott is more likely to calm down and comply with the line of questioning. We need to figure out how the nuclear codes were leaked, remember?"

"That's one vague tangent to build an interrogation on. Speaking of... We still need to interrogate the Ginger Tracy. He logged IR in for space junk duty."

"I'm on it. The trick is to get him down from orbit without their Intrepid Leader biting my head off. So keep him occupied, deal?"

"Good luck. That kid's a genius."

"I figured as much."

"No, you don't get it. A genius genius. Top 2% IQ".

"I'll take my chances."

"You do that. Simpson says he was responsible for the original crude code of Eos."

"Whoa! Alright. I'll do my homework, then take my chances. Are they ready to test Eos out in the open, by the way?"

"Not yet. The AI is acting out. Hey, hear that noise? Incoming Thunderbird in three... two... ONE..."

[twotangledsisters]

Can you give us an updated list of all your WIP's and which ones are likely to be posted? Are there any WIPs you've got that are unlikely to see the light of day?

Of course!

It's hard for me to measure likelihood of a fic being posted and how soon because other than the scheduled main fics I just let inspiration take charge. I wrote MOST of Hair-Cut over a year ago, didn't have an ending, one day the ending hit me and I posted it.

But I will colour code them as My Beloved, I love this story soooooo much (might not be coming soon but definitely coming, sometimes they take longer BECAUSE I love them and keep adding stuff and working more on them), this just needs polishing but I'm struggling for some reason, has an outline but got a looot of work yet, this is an idea more than it is a story, probably won't see the light of day.

Inside Tangled Sisters AU:

-The Three Disciples (pending title change): The story of Gothel, Sugracha, Tromus, Zhan Tirir and Demanitus.

-The Adventurer and the Prince: Arianna and Frederic's backstory (also lots of Cap).

-The Making of a Thief: Backstory for Eugene, Lance, Caine and Stalyan.

-Stuffed Animals and Hidden Animals: Cass and Raps hide Pascal and Owl from Gothel, their stuffed animal disguises backfired when Gothel starts ripping toys apart as punishment.

-Firsts: Rapunzel and Eugene have a lot of firsts to experience.

-Parenting Can Be Hard When You Fit In Their Pocket: Pascal and Owl parent the two human babies in the tower.

-Liars: Rapunzel and Cassandra had to lie to survive in the tower and carry those bad habits with them into the palace.

-Even Queen's Can Get Sick: Arianna gets ill and her daughters care for her for a change.

-Adopting The Thieves Who Stole Their Heart: Eugene and Lance travel through Equis with Keira and Catalina to get them officially adopted.

-Silent Screams and Loud Memories: It's hard being a father, especially when your two new adopted daughters came from the same horrific background as you and are still in the nightmare-phase of it all. (Lance comforting and loving Keira and Catalina, family fluff)

-Vardaros' New Fossil Exhibit: Lance takes the girls to the new fossil exhibit.

AU of Tangled Sisters AU:

-Three Thieves (pending title change): Cass isn't injured, nobody realises Rapunzel was the princess, Eugene, Cass and Rapunzel flee Corona to be thieves together but then Cass steals from the Baron and it all gets rather complicated.

-Tangled Now With Caine: Eugene steals the crown with Caine rather than the Stabbingtons.

-The Second Vial: Within Hair-Cut AU. Cassandra wakes up one day feeling unwell, but everybody is in denial about what it is. Day after day though she deteriorates fast and everybody is forced to accept the reality that the vials are what'll keep Cassandra alive.

-Caine the Handmaiden: Caine gets the gig as Cassandra's lady-in-waiting as part of a plan for vengeance but falls in love instead.

-Never Found: Eugene doesn't climb the tower just hides and escapes. Gothel takes Cass away from the tower once they're older. Cass escapes Gothel and finds a group of three thieves who she begs for help.

-Lost at the Gallows: Alternate S3 finale where Eugene dies. Pure angst.

-Evil Eugene: Rapunzel takes the moonstone, the shockwave of the sundrop and moonstone connecting leads to both Rapunzel and Cassandra's death and for Eugene to claim the sundrop/moonstone combined, following the instruction of Zhan Tiri as she promises a way to get his family back.

Everything Else:

-A History Major and a Knight: Cassandra steps through the door in The Inn of Yesterday's Tomorrow just to stumble into the room of a Modern Day Caine. Shenanigans and romance ensue! (credit to @rebecagpfs for this amazing idea!)

-No Matter What: Sequel to Always By Your Side. Lance has the moonstone wants vengeance on his brother who left him behind.

-Eugene slowly gets ill and Cass becomes a detective (obviously title pending change): Cassandra may not be fond of Eugene, but healthy people don't just suddenly fall ill and she's gonna figure out what's up.

-Shot: Cassandra takes and arrow meant for Eugene and Eugene is ready to tear the world apart finding out who did this.

-Mirror, Mirror, What You Took From Me: Cassandra shatters the mirror when hands reach out and try to grab her, a victory until they discover Eugene was already taken. Rapunzel is consumed by grief and manipulated by Zhan Tirir while Cass steals the moonstone and tries to fix things.

-Cass the Backup Body For Gothel: Gothel didn't have a child JUST for the chores. When the gang realises Cassandra didn't betray them, things get a lore more complicated, they must defeat Gothel but don't wish to harm Cassandra in the process.

-Anagapesis: Eugene realises he no longer loves Stalyan while trying to write his wedding vows.

-Father Tromus: Gothel fails to kidnap the princess and Tromus takes in Cassandra, teaching her magic and raising her to want vengeance on those who killed her mother.

-The Forgotten Future Queen: Cassandra is rescues at the age of six and adopted by Arianna and Frederic. She trains to become the best ruler Corona has ever seen, until one day the lost princess shows up and Cassandra no longer knows where she fits in the family picture.

-The Moon Slave: very dark AU where Eugene was an escaped slave and Cassandra is one who Rapunzel tries to save.

-Modern Tangled Dark: Modern-day tangled where Gothel keeps Rapunzel in atic and needs her blood for medicine, Eugene discovers her while running from the police and gets Cassandra's helps.

-Partners in Crime: Eugene and Rapunzel never realise who Rapunzel is so they flee and become thieves together. Captain is fired after the prison breakout leading Cassandra to leave Corona to hunt down Flynn Rider and enact vengeance.

-Lovers in a Tower: Gothel somehow convinced Eugene Rapunzel needs to be in the tower for safety but Eugene won't let her be there alone, except the tower soon becomes too claustrophobic for him.

-Islands Together: Captain returns to Corona with a four-year-old Cassandra and nobody knows what to do about it so they just let him. Which is fine until a full-grown Cassandra sees this.

-Royalty Can't Date a Thief: Frederic forbids the relationship between Eugene and Rapunzel. Eugene becomes Rapunzel's bodyguard and they date in secret.

-Queen for an Eternity: Arianna and Frederic die in the blizzard. Rapunzel becomes queen far too young.

-The Unknowing Indentured Servant: At four-years-old Cassandra is sentences for the crimes of her mother and her life belongs to the palace. Captain hides this from her under the guise it's just 'earning her stay'. Until Cassandra tries to quit and finds out the truth.

-Parcial Pardon: Eugene isn't given a full pardon, rather he has a lot of amends to do in Corona before he can start his new life.

-Strongbow Along For the Ride: Lance never got arrested, was there the day Eugene stole the crown and there to discover the tower and the lost princess... a tangled re-imagining.

-Queen of Amber: Arianna is consumed by the amber in the S1 finale and Frederic tries to kill Varian in his rage.

-Cass dies in the great tree: technically she dies outside of the great tree but the injure swere from there.

-The Hostage Situation: Instead of fight Hector holds a knife to Cass' neck and orders the gang to leave. Eugene splits from the gang to try and rescue Cassandra who was actually doing a pretty good job at bonding with Hector over their shared royal duties and how frustrating monarchs are when they just won't listen!

-Mothers Knows Best: Corona is heavily anti-magic and Gothel really did rescue Rapunzel. Eugene thinks he's doing good by bringing Rapunzel and her older sister to the lights until by the campfire he finds out about the magic but it's too late as the girls are now convinced the world is safe and flee Eugene to see the lights alone. Eugene goes to Gothel for help.

-Amber Alchemist: Quirin wasn't there to save Varian from the amber. Consumed by grief Quirin will do anything to save his son, including stand up to his old king and to the moonstone itself if need be.

-Mother Zhan Tiri: Zhan Tiri tries to manipulate a six-year-old Cassandra who's living in the tower with Rapunzel, it works to a degree but now Zhan Tirir needs to keep these babies long enough and eventually gives up leading them back to Corona so they can be somebody else's' problem.

-Gothel the Guardian of the Flower: Gothel goes to Corona after the sundrop's taken, begs to be left alone with the queen and flower for just a moment as she can heal her. Frederic is so grateful he gives Gothel a home in the palace garden where she is Corona's official healer. Arianna doesn't like how Gothel cares for her child and often brings Cassandra in to play with Rapunzel. One day things get more complicated when the thief Flynn Rider appears claiming he too can heal using the sundrop and isn't as picky as Gothel about WHO he heals! (one of my very fave WIPs)

I tried my best to keep this brief cause I feel like I usually over do it! However, if you want to know any more about any specific story go ahead and ask! I was going to include links to posts where I'd talked about each fic I'm not organised enough to locate those posts I'm afraid.

Also, I grabbed the stories from my WIP file, I try to stay organised but sometimes fics end up existing as a draft in another program so if I missed any, please do tell me and I'll add it! (both to this post and my WIP folder for safe-keeping)

[jzixuans]

hello i'm here to wish you a very Jin Zixuan day 🤸🏻‍♂️ whats a favorite moment or thought or headcanon about the birthday boy that you have tucked in the back of your mind at all times?

GOOD MORNING ABBY HAPPY JIN ZIXUAN DAY WE ARE POPPING SO MANY BOTTLES FOR THE ONLY MAN IN THE WORLD

ohhhhhhh i have so many thoughts about him you are getting many more than you asked for and i wish i was more articulate today but i am mostly filled with coffee right now and i have to finish a midterm later

1) he's a family man!!! obviously there's jiang yanli and jin ling and he loved them SO much but also i think it's kind of canon that he's a bit of a mama's boy and i think a lot about how between the betrothal and other social/political obligations he was largely adhering to what his parents wanted for him. also i will eternally thank cql for the extra bits we got of him (im like 90% sure they were added but i haven't finished the novel) of him trying to get jin guangshan to back off of jin guangyao. i think in his perfect world he really would have liked to have jin guangyao treated well in the family and would have wanted his parents to be able to reconcile jin guangyao's presence but i also think he wasn't willing to transgress those boundaries in order for that to happen because of filial piety and also class and also because symbolically that would have fractured his image of family more than repaired it :(

2) follow up to this a scene cql gave us that i think about sooooo sosososoososo often is "a-yao, you always avoid eye contact when you're hiding something." like yes cql had jgy play him like a fiddle and so this quirk was obviously artificial but it's the fact that not only did they spend enough time together for jgy to fib and plant this habit, but that jin zixuan NOTICED and he REMEMBERED. he's not as socially inept as people make him out to be! he's just awkward!!

3) this one is my most close to heart headcanon that's probably not canon but i like to think that jgy is actually older than jzx. either by a year or two but born on the same day, or (sexier) by just a number of hours. it kind of rubs a little more salt in the wound for jzx to be the recognized heir and jgy nothing more than a glorified attendant. more simply though it's endearing to think about little big brother a-yao and his big little brother :'))

4) the jin zixuan honour code thesis is REAL and THRIVING and i kiss xuanwu cave every morning on the mouth with TONGUE. him defending mianmian in the cave when no one else but lan wangji (hi xuanjimian friendship agenda) does is so good all the time in every adaptation and then you add to the mix cql's "is there any shortage of corpses lately?" (god he's so respectful even to wen corpses) and him honouring the girl he Thought was giving him soup by raising her rank and then him feeling so Bad about yelling at jiang yanli for the soup incident that he kind of just lay down and took the consequence is like!! in my mind there's (to oversimplify): lan wangji being the novel's most upright unwavering moral compass, there's wei wuxian being the novel's drive for justice, and then there's jin zixuan with his heart full of integrity and honour. my thoughts on this are summed up in "and so my heart beats wildly" by lily_winterwood during the scene where jin zixuan forces su she (?) to forfeit because he attacked mianmian and then forfeits himself because he also technically broke the rules. it's similar to nie mingjue's "after i kill him, i'll kill myself" but less out of some moral give and take but more because it's the right thing to do

5) xuanjimian friendship agenda :) and it is soooooo important to me that mianmian has her own #girlloser moments. she is not there to be their cool distinguished completely rational girl best friend. she is there because she looked at these two and said I Can Make Them Worse. they're all three a little bit mean and bitchy and incredibly self-righteous. too busy joining three sports teams and nine clubs to do any normal person hang out activities. my only crumbs are xuanwu cave, cql putting mianmian in the jin sect, and mianmian's (2) interactions with lan wangji but. they are best friends and they are all three jock prep nerds hope this helps <3

6) secret other friendship agenda: jzx lwj and nhz being xiao 3zun. they're like 3zun if 3zun was a little bit more cringe and had to sit at the kiddie table with their juice boxes while their brothers were being a cool political power throuple

[wibble-wobbegong]

top three duos in st? :D

okay i’m Not including byler because. duh. SO

1. wheelclair

can never get enough of these two!! they rank in my top five storylines each season (except season 2) because they’re just so fascinating to me and im Insane over how lucas has impacted mike’s arc with his sexuality and how mike’s reaction to that has impacted lucas (see it most blatantly between s3 and 4). like !!!! they’re just so critter coded. also they both only have sisters and i like to think they are like brothers to each other (thought i wont deny that the jealousy arc in s1 was a little bit fruity)

2. ELMIKE‼️

the goobers??? of all time?????? also they are simultaneously the sweetest kiddos and yet the most horrific, gut wrenching, nausea inducing pair ever. the kindest most loving of friendships vs the most vile cruel romantic relationship known to mankind and i love both aspects because it’s just an arc i’ve never seen sone before. like they arent just badly written straight people, they both have much deeper reasonings for their behavior and it’s just soooooo

3. lumax

im just a little bitch and they make me sad in the good way. hope this helps!

[luciferslover3]

Welcome to Devildom

You awoke to three men standing over you. “Ah, you're finally awake!” Says the first one. you tilt your head slightly “where am I? And who are you?” you stammer. “You are in a wonderful place called devildom, and I am Diavolo, the lord of this lovely kingdom!” he answers loudly with a large smile on his face. You had lost most of your friends the day before because some lying bi- ahem I mean girl started making rumors about you. “My lord, I think it would be a good idea to give her some time before we tell her of RAD” the man on the left states respect dripping from each word and a smile plastered on his face. You look all three of the men up and down. Then you remember falling asleep. “oh” you exclaim cutting off Diavolo who was answering the man who had been talking a few moments prior, “ahem, “oh”?” he asks, confused on why you CUT OFF THE LORD OF DEVILDOM. “This is just a dream, isn’t it?” you ask, “I’ve been so lonely that now I'm making up people” you say almost under your breath. you see a small bit of enthusiasm drain from Diavolo's face, while the man on the right, who hasn’t spoken yet, brings his hand to the bridge of his nose. “No no, this is not a dream. You have been chosen for an exchange program between angels, humans, and demons” he remarks quite proudly. “My own work” he gloats. “Lucifer, you can continue this” diavolo sighs and the man on the right nods curtly as he continues “As the lord as said my name is lucifer-” “who in heavens named you that?!” you exclaim. You hear several snickers from behind the large man and lean to the side to see four other men snickering behind him. “Ahem” the man clears his throat and the men behind him straighten at once. “I, like the rest of the people in this room, am a demon...” he sighs. “ARE YOU GOING TO ENSLAVE ME!?”  you yell referring to the bible and how “lucifer” wanted to enslave humans for angel use. He looks at you with a disappointed face and continues. “These are my brothers, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, and Beelzebub, you will be living with them and I in the House of Lamentation-” “but aren't Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Satan the same person?” you interrupt “no...” he sighs again. “How about you call mammon, he is one of two brothers that seem to have misplaced their invite to this occasion and will be protecting you for the next year” he hands you a phone-looking device. “This is a DDD, it works much like a human phone.” you turn it on, and it asks for a pass code. “Um-” “6557” he interrupts quietly “oh ok” you open the phone and tap the phone tab. I have already added all our numbers if you should need us”. You tap the button with the name “Mammon” on it and it starts ringing. “Yo mammon speaking" someone answers. “you're supposed to be protecting me for the next year?” you say in more of a question than a statement, reciting what lucifer said before. “Oh, you're that human right?” he scoffs. “Yeah” you answer trying to be as cheerful as possible. “Yeah, well I ain’t protecting you from anything understood?” he remarks “but lucifer said-” “I don’t CARE what lucifer said I'm not scared of him” he yells through the DDD. “One....two....” lucifer starts counting slowly “AH UM YEAH yeah I'm going to protect you mhm yep....” you giggle a tad at his response, and he hangs up. “Well, that’s him. And good luck” he sighs “where will I be sleeping?” you ask timidly. “Yes, if you would excuse us m’lord?” he turns and asks diavolo for permission to leave. “Yes, of course” he beams then looks at you “if you need me just call, ok?” you crack your knuckles nervously and nod. 

(A/N) soooooo who should i do this abt? i have more parts that i'll post in like 30 min- but i need to know who Y/n should fall in love with!!

[persphonesorchid]

Auburn Skies  - MYG || Teaser ||

Summary: "Autumn is a season that shows us that change can be beautiful" - Everyone knows that if your best friend has a little sister, she's off limits. Yoongi knows this. There's no way he could tell Namjoon that once upon a time you kissed him, drunk in his living room after a break up. So much time's passed since then, too much time to bring it up now, but Yoongi still thinks about it, he's still a little hopeful. Now you're here at the lake house because Namjoon brought you and you clearly have something you want to say to Yoongi.

Namjoon's gonna kill him.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader 

Genre: Best friend's sister au, crack (sort of? I'm not funny lmao)

Warnings: 18+, smut (exact smut warnings will be included in the post once it's up and ready to go!) Yoongi and Y/n are both stupid and need to get their shit in order bcus ajwjehajja. Half the time Yoongi has no idea what to do with himself. Pinning, lots of pinning. Taehyung is a MENACE, he's just trying to help tho :(. Seokjin knows more than he lets on.

Part of the Autumn Leaves Collab hosted by @bangtansmauyeondan​

To Be Posted: 15.10.2022 :) 

Notes: Y'all!! I'm soooooo exited to share this with you! It's been in the works for a while! y'all know how it goes with my teasers, three scenes that's not in any particular order :)) have fun! And if you guys want to be tagged, comment or shoot me an ask!! Please look forward to this and the other fics by my beautiful friends in this Collab!!

The only word to describe your first meeting was awkward, to say the least. He'd only ever heard of you, with Namjoon going off about you whenever Yoongi lent his ear. His baby sister who was doing so well in school, his baby sister, who to Namjoon, practically hung the moon in the sky. Now, Yoongi thinks he's naturally awkward when meeting new people, he can't help it. Getting to know someone was hard no matter how much you hear about them, even though you've got a pretty good impression just by word of mouth. There were shy 'hi's and the most soul crushing 'See you later's' when there's little to no chance of ever seeing that person again. Sweaty, nervous hands meeting in shakes and straight lipped smiles.

Now, Yoongi was sure he wasn't too bad at it. And you were good, smiling brightly, not looking as awkward as he felt. What was awkward was the way Namjoon had excused himself to his parent's kitchen, pretending to get a glass of water. Yoongi had followed him with his eyes, because why was he leaving him standing in front of his sister alone?

Yoongi still remembers the chill that went down his spine that morning, as Namjoon watched him dead in the eyes over your head. A look Yoongi had never once received from him before, one that simply said: "If you think anything about my sister that isn't innocent; you will die."

As a best friend, Yoongi respected that. As a man, Yoongi valued his life. He wouldn't dare. It's the code, do not, under any circumstances, think about your best friend's sister romantically or less. You were off limits from the day Namjoon showed Yoongi that picture of you.

Off limits.

Yoongi heard that loud and clear and Namjoon hadn't said a word that day.

You were off limits, still, when you'd called him at ass o'clock in the morning - not Namjoon, your brother who trusted with everything - about some smarmy asshole who thought it was funny to break your heart. When he picked you up outside a bar where you were supposed to meet your boyfriend of a year, standing in the rain, soaked to the bone, crying and slightly drunk.

Looking beautiful even when you had stumbled your way to his car, asking what did you do to deserve getting cheated on. He didn't answer you then, he had too much to say and it wasn't the time, not when you were drunk and wouldn't remember a thing when the sun came up. So he cranked up the heat in his car, and white knuckled the steering wheel the whole drive to his apartment, because yours was too far and it was late.

Off the whole damn table, when you'd kissed him on the mouth, still drunk, still crying and clinging onto him in his living room. He pushed you gently away, even as he licked his lips to chase the taste of you. Keeping the distance between you both wide as he watched you shatter like glass in his hold. You apologized through your sobs, and Yoongi's own heart broke as he tried and failed to pick up the pieces of yours scattered at your feet.

You asked him not to tell Namjoon, and Yoongi's never said a damn word. You slept in his bed that night, in his clothes that were way too big for you, and left the next day like nothing happened.

::

Namjoon stares forlornly at the pancake for a quiet moment, while you do a victory wiggle in your place, his misfortune ignored.

"Well there you go, who wants to play?" Taehyung asks, glancing around the room. Jungkook waves his arm, getting up from his space on the floor by Hoseok's legs to totter over. "Yoongi! Nice of you to volunteer."

"What? I didn't...?" Yoongi stares at Taehyung like he's sprouted a second head.

Taehyung ignores him.

"Hey, I wanted to play..." Jungkook whines, Taehyung ignores him, too.

"Guys, let's go take a nap in the bunk room." He stretches his long legs over Namjoon's, pulling him up by the arms and shares a look with Jungkook who was likely, as confused as everyone else.

"I'm not tired, though. I napped when I got here." Hoseok pipes up, pressing his lips together when Jimin not so subtly nudge his side with an elbow.

"Let's go take a nap." Taehyung repeats, eyes narrowing slightly at Hoseok. He relents under Taehyung's gaze, sighing as he stands and drags Jimin and a complaining Jungkook.

Taehyung smiles brightly, dropping his hands heavily on Yoongi's shoulders. Yoongi doesn't know what the kid's playing at, but allows him to direct him to sit next to you.

Yoongi shares a look with Seokjin, who shrugs and stands to leave too, linking his arm with Namjoon, "I found a book I think you'd like Joon. But we have to look for it, it's lost in my bedroom somewhere..."

"Oh...Kay? Sure."

Their voices trail off as they head up the stairs, and Taehyung waves as he backs out of the living room, with a sweet - suspicious - boxy smile."Have fun you two!"

::

"Everything okay?" Yoongi asks softly, fingers just itching to reach out for you, but he holds his own bottled water a little tighter instead.

"Yeah...Joon is just..." You shake your head, "Are you staying up to watch the movie with us?"

Your change of subject didn't surprise Yoongi, you've been doing that a lot today. He lifts a shoulder in a shrug, "I might...do you want me to?"

Yoongi would give you anything you ask for right now, hell, he'd find a way to pull the moon from the sky if you asked it of him.

"Huh?" Your eyes seems panicked for a second as they dart away to stare off elsewhere. "If you want to, it's up to you really."

"Then I'll watch." He gives an easy smile, "Are you sure you're okay?" He steps closer, a hand meeting your cheek gently, unintentionally and without Yoongi's consent. Simply out of his need to offer you comfort when he can, and maybe it's his wishful thinking, maybe it's that stupid thing called hope again; Yoongi swears you lean into his touch. Your skin is warm, like cooling tea on a winter's morning.

"I'm fine," You're staring at his lips as you say this, and Yoongi's heart skips before it gallops, threatening to burst from his chest. Maybe he's imagining it, but you move a step closer, and he does too, leaning down a bit to meet your height, "I just wanted to.."

Just another inch, if he moves just an inch closer. You're so close now that your exhales mingles with his in the space between you both, he could feel the chill seeping off the bottled water you hold, pressed against his stomach where your hands linger.

Yoongi decides he's not going to be awkward right now, he's going to be brave and just do this. He's going to kiss you and pour everything he feels into it, and hope - prays - that you feel it too.

"Ahem."

You and Yoongi both spring apart like teenagers caught doing something they shouldn't. Yoongi's cheeks are heating up too quickly for him to stop it, and yours are too, and he doesn't want to turn around because he knows who's behind him.

Think fast,Yoongi. Think.

"I hope your eye feels better. You should kiss - rinse! Rinse with warm water. 'Cause you know...germs...could uh.... get in there.... "

Really? Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, already anticipating his death when he turns to face the grim reaper behind him.

Namjoon stands in the kitchen doorway, eyebrow raised, doing that thing he does with his jaw. Yoongi feels a little faint, looking at the ugly painting Taehyung convinced Seokjin to buy and hang up in the living room over his head.

"Y/n had something in her eye and I was just checking." He looks back at you and you look just as confused as he's feeling, smiling though, as if his misery is funny to you. "R-remember. Warm water, okay?"

With that he leaves, not looking at Namjoon, who's gaze he could feel at the back of his head.

Tagging: @bangtansmauyeondan @taestefully-in-luv @blog-name-idk @madbutgloriouspond @btsstan12 @hamsterclaw @doneimnida @xpeachesncream @dontstoptime @allhobbitstoisengard @here2bbtstrash

[aprilwritesabook]

I appolgize in advance for this long ass post haha.

Alright, so here's the deal. This post is gonna be part rant, part confessional, and part inspirational speech. So if your following this blog purely for the updates on my books you can skip it haha.

I know a currently published author. I used to kinda be friends with them in highschool, but it was more like a friend of a friend type deal. But I digress. Point is. They recently released there second book on Amazon. And I really wanna be happy and proud of them, and to see it as an inspirational thing, buuuuut I'm almost 100 sure they are actually a fraud?

And that's not me being bitter. I really really really wish this wasn't the case. But I have the evidence to back this theory up.

1- they claimed that there first book sold out multiple times. And to be fair this one might be at least partially true. Its rated pretty high on amazon, But then again they only have 4 people rate it and three of those people are the editor formattor and artist for the book. Soooo. Yeah I sure hope they rated it well.

2- they are constantly posting stories to there social media that are far fetched at best. They work in a bookstore. And almost every other week its a slightly diffrent story about a customer who "didn't even know" he was the author who would "burst into tears" the second he told them what the book was about because they were just Soooo touched by the message that they wept to a total stranger??? If that had happened even once it would have been an odd occurance. And this is something that apparently happens alllll the time to them. (I hate to drudge up old memes like this, but)

3- this person has recently made a tick tock and a youtube channel. And like, the content isssss questionable? And that's not necessarily a crime or anything. But they give updates about it on social media as if they are speaking to a mass of adoring fans and like...you can see how many subs and views a person has. We know he dosn't have a big fan base. And I know that sounds harsh. But like, some more gullible people have asked him for advise on how to be "successful" and "gain a following", and he answers them with authority. Like he has the answers even though he clearly dosn't? And that feels really... disingenuous at best?

4- along the same vein as 3. They recently made a post on twitter about how they are "overwhelmed by the amount of love and support they have found on the site" and how they get "some many heartfelt messages." Annnd again. I clicked the account. They literally have 5 followers. And not a SINGLE person has EVER liked, retweeted, or commented on a SINGLE tweet of theirs. Not one. Soooo like not only are you pretending to have a huge fan base that dosn't exist your also making up there engagement with you? Which this alone I feel brings validate to my doubts about the other things. Clearly they arn't above blatant lying and extreme over exaggeration. And also they either don't realize we can all seeeee these facts. Or they don't think anyone will actually check and call them on it ?????

Now there's a lot of other examples I could give. But my point isn't to put this ONE person on blast. I'm not trying to start beef or cause damage to their reputation or anything. Which is why I won't say their name or what there books are. The only way you'd know who I'm talking is if you also knew them in real life. In which case you either already know all this, or you should, so you don't fall victim to their lies.

The reason I'm saying any of this at all is because I think I know why they are doing it. And why so many indie authors or would be media mogels feel the need to do this.

The issue with trying to "build an audience" and "self market" yourself, is that you really only have 2 ways of guaranteed sucess.

You either need to have a pre established audience based on success you've already had in the past. (IE youtubers and movie stars writing successful books cause there fans will buy anything of there's reguardless.)

Or you need to buy your way in. Be it by quitting your day job to make social media your full time job, buying ads, hiring a social media person,or hiring a team of people with their own audiences (audio book narrators, cover artists, managers, ect)

And if you don't ALREADY have an audience, and you don't have the funds to BUY your way in, then your just gonna have to get real lucky.

You can be lucky for knowing somebody with an "in". They work in publishing, or advertising, or they're your rich uncle. Just someone who you can go to to get that boost one way or another to get one of the first two methods going for you.

You can get lucky by commenting the right thing on the right post and gaining followers that way. Or by being in the right place at the right time to meet somebody important.

You can be lucky by having lots of supportive friends and family who will promote you and your work FOR you.

Or lastly (and this is in the realm of being a one in a million case here. So it basically never happens without one of the other things I mentioned also being true.)

You can be lucky by working REALLY hard, and being REALLY talented, and having the world actually NOTICE YOU somehow? Just one person with influence who can find you in your dark hole of insignificance and shine a light on you so now the world can actually seee you.

And that sucks.

You could write the greatest book in the whole world. Truly a masterpiece. But if nobody buys it or reads it because they don't know who you are??? Then it dosen't matter does it?

It sucks Soooo hard.

Because untill you get those people with influence to shine a light on you, theres nothing you can do. And the market is soooooo drenched in new indie authors that the odds of the right people finding and liking your book are slim to none.

Its super unfair.

The people who have the influence arn't gonna buy a book with 0 reviews and no social media following.

Why? Because THEIR brand depends on only recommending the good shit. And they need to find that good shit NOW. If they read every book written by nobody's online, they'd have to wade through ALOT of garbage. wasting all their valuable time and money till they found something worthy. And honestly, from a business stand point, you cant really fault them for that

This is where the lies come from.

So basically no matter how you look at it, or what your strategy is, In order to get fans, you need to ALREADY HAVE THEM.

When your just starting out. And I mean truly at square one. It really feels like the only way to "make it" is to "fake it"

If you PRETEND to have a big following. And you PRETEND your books are selling really well already. And you PRETEND that people care deeply about you and your work... Then there is a chance that nobody will do the homework to find out its all a lie.

And if they think your successful already, then it sends a message to the consumers brains of "well they must be good. Everybody loves it/them".

It sucks that so many people who have found real success did so with lies, cash, and being already well connected.

And then they buy it, and they follow you, and the confirmation bias sets in, and eventually you'll dupe enough people into liking you that you don't HAVE to lie anymore.

Those of us with no cash and too high a conscious to lie our way to the top are left with virtually no chance of succeeding no matter how hard we work or how good our content is.

And I'm not claiming to be "better than" or "more worthy" than anyone else. I wanna make it clear that of your in the portion of having it fake it so you can follow your dreams then more power to you. Its a valid strategy. I hate that it works and I hate that its the only option sometimes. But I don't hate the people as creators for "doing what it takes." I get it. Really I do.

And it suckks major ass that so many people feel like this is the only way.

My whole point here. Is that we have slowly built a system where this is our reality. And honestly? End of the day? There's not a damn thing we can do to change it at this point.

In a perfect world made of unicorns and puppies. I could say "hey lets all go ready books by completely unknown authors. Be the change you wanna see in the world." But at the end of the day, especially in the unfiltered world of self publishing, It would be a complete shot in the dark to spend your resources on something completely unknown. We rely on word of mouth, and "best sellers" and high following to do the work of filtering out the bad stuff for us and it would be unrealistic if not impossible to go back on it now. Even if we wanted to there algorithms and shit built into the code. You'll never find the books that Amazon dosnt want you to find unless you search for it directly.

Now comes the confession/inspirational bit

I know all of the above to be true...But I'm choosing not to care

I'm not gonna lie my way to the top. I'm not gonna hide my struggles out of fear of seeming inferior. So here goes

I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety. I've been working on it, and I've gotten so much better in recent years. But there are always gonna be times when I slip up and my mental illnesses take over

When I was writing my first book I felt really empowered and good about myself for finally getting past all my own barriers and following my dreams.

And then once I was done writting and editing and I was ready to show the world and get feedback. I flopped.

I couldn't find anyone willing to beta read. Those who said they would do it (even people who claimed they "couldn't wait") ghosted me after I actually sent it to them

I was hoping to get 20 people. I really wanted it to be the best it could be. Only 11 actully signed up. Of that 11, 5 people actually read it: My spouse, my brother, my best friend, and 2 others. Those two others read the first bit I sent them, took a few weeks to get back to me, said they loved it, but then Neeeeeeeeever got back to me when I sent them the next chunk.

Now you can look at all that and come to the conclusion that it sucks. I know I sure did.

The struggles at each step made me doubt myself more and more to the point that I almost gave up writing all together.

And I didn't want to take about it or how it was making me feel, even though it was having a serious impact on me. I wanted to bottle it all up and let it consume me. Allllll because I didn't want people online to write me off as a failure before even giving me the chance.

I wasn't lying about being successful. I was just trying to hide the fact that I wasn't.

And that's almost as bad. Because then all the new authors just feel worse about themselves and their journey because they think they are the only ones.

Your not alone.

Everyone is struggling.

We just aren't talking about it.

I haven't written a word in over a week because I've been so afraid my second book will be dead on arrival like my first.

And I KNOW somewhere out there is someone just like me whose thinking of giving up.

Don't.

Just keep going.

Do your best. And then come find another struggling writer and share with each other. The world outside might not understand your struggle. But another author might.

We can't change the market. We can't change the way social media works, or how people decide if they will buy things

But what we CAN change, is whether those of us within the community want to be honest about our struggles and frustrations. Or if we want to hide them away and lie about them for the sake of making more sales

I think by being honest with one another we can create a better network.

That way the next time you feel like garbage for not being an "instant celebrity" like everyone else. you can look at the community and realize that you were never the problem

If we just keep making new writing friends our collective reach will eventually take hold in the outside world. Don't wait for a random influencer to notice you. Just make one friend at a time. Be known amongst your peers and maybe the rest will follow

And if your a writer desperate for feedback, or just a friend to share your troubles with. Hit me up. My inbox is always open.

[steveshcrringtons]

Holding Out For a Hero - Pt.1

pairing: Steve Harrington x OC (Kat Henderson) eventually

warning(s): uhhhh….none other than this being complete garbo

Word count: 2618

Author’s Note: Welp, I didn’t think I was going to ever write anything for my Stranger Things OC, but here I am being garbage all because I listened to Holding Out For a Hero and got some inspiration. Soooooo here’s part one of what was supposed to be a short Drabble and is now turning into a multipart “Drabble” series

tagging: @spider–bae

Summary: Kat Henderson gets sucked into the world of the interdimensional once again because of her little brother. However, this time she’s also got to deal with none other than Steve “The Hair” Harrington.     

Kat sighed as she pulled out the box of Meow-mix from the cabinet before handing it to her mom, knowing that it was time to feed Mews. Her mom started to call out for Mews while pouring out the cat food. Kat looked around the kitchen with a confused look on her face. Normally, the moment the box was shook, Mews came running to eat, but now she was nowhere to be found.

“Mews, come on it’s time to eat.” Kat called out as she looked down the hallway.

She heard the front door open and close before her mom greeted her brother. Kat soon came face to face with her younger brother, “Hey, Dus, have you seen Mews? It’s time for her to eat, and she’s not coming out.”

Kat barely got a look of recognition from her brother before he spoke as he opened his bedroom door, “Nope haven’t seen her.” He said quickly before practically shutting the door in her face.

She furrowed her eyebrows as she stared at the door now in front of her. Something seemed off with her brother and she didn’t know what it was, but she wasn’t going to press him about it. Instead, she headed back to her room to do her homework for the night, hoping that Mews came around soon or else her mom was going to go insane.

**

After about a half hour of doing her homework, she decided on a snack before heading out into the kitchen to see Dustin on the phone talking to someone while her mom watched,

“Thank you so much, Mr. McCorkle. Thank you so much. You are a true lifesaver. All right this was great. Thank you. All right. Have a good one. Bye-bye now. All right. You too.” He paused as he turned to their mom, a small smile on his face as he spoke, “All right great news.”

“They found her?” Their mom asked, holding back tears.

“No, but they saw her wandering around Loch Nora.”

That was all it took for their mom to lose it and start crying, “How did the poor baby get all the way out there?”

“I don’t know. Lost I guess.” Dustin replied, holding onto her arms, “But they’re gonna look for her. And I’ll stay here just in case they call again. And you’re gonna go help look. Yeah? Yeah?” He questioned as he pulled their mom in for a hug, “All right, give me a hug. Go get her.” When they pulled away, he smiled, “You’re gonna find her alright?”

She nodded before giving a weak smile through her tears, “Okay.”

“We can find her.” Dustin stated, giving two thumbs up as their mom started to gather her things.

Kat raised her eyebrows at how soothing and calm Dustin was being. Normally, he was never like this. She knew that there was something up, but she wasn’t sure what it was.

“We can find her.” Their mom replied, putting her sunglasses on.

“I love you.” Dustin said, blowing her two kisses.

“She’ll be okay, Mom, I love you.” Kat stated, earning a quick look from her brother.

“I love you both.” She replied as she hesitantly walked out the door.

“Alright, go.” Dustin said with a smile.

She gave a nod before closing the door. Once she had, Dustin wasted no time walking away from the door and phone and searching around the house.

“Care to tell me what’s actually going on? Where’s Mews, Dustin?” Kat asked as she followed her little brother around the house as he gathered a bunch of random supplies.

“Can’t you go somewhere else? I’m a little busy right now, Kat.” Dustin grumbled.

Kat flinched at the harshness in his voice. Dustin was never like that with her ever. The two were thick as thieves, and they never fought.

“No, Dustin, I can’t go anywhere else. Something is wrong. I’m your sister, just tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing is going on, Kat, just drop it.”

Kat glared before she grabbed her brother’s arm, stopping him from moving any further down the hallway,

“Dustin! Tell me what’s going on. Now! You and I don’t lie to each other. That’s our thing! Now, tell me what happened or I swear to God, I’ll figure it out myself.”

Dustin sighed before he nodded and began to speak. She stayed silent as he informed her all about Dart and what exactly he was, or becoming. Kat knew all about the crazy shit that happened last year with Will. She hadn’t been hugely involved, but Dustin needed someone to talk to about everything, so he told Kat everything. She had a hard time believing it at first, but she knew that Dustin wouldn’t lie to her, so she had no other choice than to believe him.

Once Dustin finished talking, Kat sighed before she rubbed her temples,

“Sometimes I wonder about you, child.” She stated before she clapped her hands together, “Alright, let’s wrangle this thing.”

Dustin nodded before continuing his search for everything that he needed. The two didn’t speak as Kat helped him with his search, tossing him a package of bolognue from the fridge.

**

After burying Mews’ body, and cleaning the blood, for the most part, out of Dustin’s room, Kat was beyond tired. She opted to stay behind at the house in case Dart tried to escape while Dustin rode his bike to Mike’s house to get his help. Apparently, Mike would know what to do, and nobody else was picking up on Dustin’s code red he kept sending out, so they didn’t have many choices left.

It had gotten dark by the time Kat had heard any resemblance of Dustin coming home. She looked out the front door when she heard a car pull up, fearing it was their mother. However, the BMW parked outside did not belong to the woman Kat grew up calling mom. Instead, Steve “The Hair” Harrington got out of the driver’s seat with Dustin following closely behind. Kat frowned in confusion as she walked outside,

“What the hell is, Steve Harrington doing here, Dustin?” Kat asked, crossing her arms.

“He’s here to help, Kat.” Dustin replied as Steve opened up his trunk, tossing Dustin the keys to the car before he grabbed something out of it.

When the truck door closed, Kat could see he was holding a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it.

“Hey, Kitty Kat.” Steve said with a smirk, causing Kat to roll her eyes.

She and Steve had never been ones to see eye-to-eye on anything. He was the King of Hawkins High, and he made sure that everyone knew it. He thought he was hot shit, and Kat didn’t take any of his crap, causing the two to butt heads quite frequently. Kat’s friends constantly said that her resentment toward him was that she was mad that he picked Nancy Wheeler over her. Her friends never let Kat live down the fact that she had a massive crush on him freshman and sophomore year.

Kat neared the two, a glare set on Steve as she walked to them, “You really think a baseball bat with nails is gonna take this thing down? It ate our cat.” She stated, eyeing Steve up and down.

“It took down a fully grown one, so I think I’ll be fine, but thanks for the concern, Kitty Kat.” Steve replied with another smirk.

“Hi, we don’t have time for your guy’s sexual tension. Can we please move on?” Dustin seethed as he pulled the two over to the storm cellar.

Kat and Steve both shared the same look of disgust at her brother’s words, but kept quiet as they followed him over. The three of them stood hesitantly in front of the doors, waiting to hear something before Steve spoke,

“I don’t hear shit.” He stated.

“He’s in there.” Kat replied, attitude lacing her voice, “I watched Dustin put him in there.”

Steve looked over at the siblings before he tapped his bat lightly on the storm doors. He waited for a moment before he brought the bat up and hit the doors harder, causing Kat to jump slightly at the noise. There was a moment of silence before Steve turned, sticking the flashlight in Dustin’s face.

“Alright, kid, listen, I swear if this is some sort of Halloween prank, you’re dead.” He threatened.

Kat glared at the brunette before taking a step closer, ready to come to her brother’s defense.

“It’s not.” Dustin stated, “It’s not a prank. Get it out of my face.” He squinted to keep himself from being blinded.

“You got a key for this thing?” Steve asked, nodding his head at the storm cellar.

Kat took another step forward, shoving the flashlight out of Dustin’s face before she handed Steve the key to the lock.

He didn’t say anything to her as he took the key from her hand, quickly unlocking the chains and pulling the storm doors open. Kat and Dustin were sure to stand back away from the doors. Dustin pointed the flashlight down the steps, noticing that there was no dart. Steve quickly took the flashlight from Dustin’s hand before he shined it around to see more of the stairs,

“He must be further down there.” Dustin stated softly, “I’ll stay up here in case he tries to escape and go after my sister.”

Steve looked up at Dustin with an annoyed look before he looked back down at the stairs. He stood up slowly before he hesitantly headed down the stairs, bat tightly in his hand as he walked down. After a few moments of silence, Dustin spoke up, inching toward the doors. Kat followed closely behind.

“Steve?” Dustin asked nervously, “Steve, what’s going on down there?”

“Harrington, you okay?” Kat followed up.

Suddenly, there is a light in Dustin and Kat’s face, causing both of them to jump, grabbing each other’s hands before they realized that it’s Steve.

“Get down here.” Steve said.

Dustin and Kat slowly walked down the stairs to join Steve. Dustin’s face dropped when he noticed what Steve was holding on the end of his bat,

“Oh shit.” Dustin stated.

“What the hell is that stuff?” Kat asked as she tried to inspect it more.

“It’s Dart’s skin.” Dustin replied quickly before he turned to Steve.

Steve moved the flashlight to the corner of the room where there was a hole in the wall. Kat’s eyes practically bugged out of her head at the sight before Dustin spoke again.

“Oh shit!” He yelled.

“Where do you think it leads?” Kat asked curiously.

“Who knows.” Dustin grumbled before turning back to the door.

“Well it’s too dark now to try and find him. We can try tomorrow. We need to get some sleep.” Kat stated, putting her arm around her brother. She paused before turning to Steve, “I can make you a bed on the couch.”

“There’s no need. I can just head home. It's no big deal.” Steve replied as the three walked out of the storm cellar.

Kat shook her head before she spoke, “Not up for debate. Come on, Harrington.”

He sighed before nodding, following the Henderson siblings inside their house. Kat told Dustin to sleep in her room, so he didn’t have to inhale the bleach from cleaning the floor the entire night. She brought some extra blankets out from the hall closet and her bedroom before she made up the each couch for her and Steve.

“You really didn’t have to do this.” Steve stated as he stared at the couch.

Kat shrugged before she finished setting up her bed, “It’s fine. If that thing comes back for seconds, at least you’re closer to the door.” She replied, a small teasing tone in her voice.

She didn’t give him any time to respond before heading into the bathroom to change into her pajamas. When she returned to the living room, she noticed that Steve had gotten into his makeshift bed already. She was quick to flip out the light before making her way over to the couch where she set up her bed. Kat tried to feel around as she maneuvered her way through the dark, her eyes not yet adjusted, before she tripped on a stray shoe, losing her balance and falling onto a couch.

However, the couch she hoped to fall on was not the one she needed. There was an “oof” mixed with a groan as Kat fell on top of Steve,

“I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?” Kat asked instantly as she scrambled to get off of Steve.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?” He questioned.

“Yeah.” She replied as she stood, moving to her couch.

She was really glad the lights were off so he couldn’t see how red her face was from the situation. She got under the blankets and got comfortable as she took a breath,

“Night, Harrington.”

“Good night, Kitty Kat.”

[leggigoesabroad]

skipping down sixteenth avenue

We woke up the next morning honestly fuggin AMPED because it was a full day at sea.  We had big plans to get some work done, explore the ship, day drink, revel in it all, etc.  But immediately we all felt so seasick that mid-meeting in Brooke’s room she just said “this isn’t happening. Let’s all go back to bed.” And we snorted lines of Dramamine and napped (essentially.)  We got an invitation that morning for dinner with the captain that night, which just so happened to be the ship’s formal night that we didn’t know existed.  Cue PANIC as I accused them all of trying to haze me by not telling me I needed to bring anything other than athleisure.  The nicest thing I brought with me was a floral jumpsuit so I tried my best to blend in but goddamn it these women were wearing like, sparkly evening gowns, strapless bodycon dresses, etc.   Couldn’t even go shopping anywhere since we were at sea all day.  Brooke says it was Nick’s fault, Nick and I secretly remember it was Brooke’s fault as she was the one who told us that Alaskan cruises don’t have formal nights…. Sigh. I’ve only just now started to get over it.  Combined with feeling like death all day and then having to be on good behavior for the very peculiar captain, things were dire.  The lack of formalwear also of course meant that I felt the need to get ahead of it to everyone I encountered the entire night.  “Just so you know I was told there wasn’t a formal night!!” **manic laughter drawing attention to myself** “I would never think this was appropriate for a formal night or dinner with the captain, we didn’t know! We’re here for work! It was a miscommunication!” **more manic laughter and essentially forcing people to say I look nice** “I dress way better at home, had I known I would have fit right in!! You can imagine.  I compensated by getting rip-roaring drunk and OD’ing on Dramamine which led me to a coma-like state I tried to Adderall-away the rest of the cruise.  Hate me cuz u ain’t me.  

The captain was ssssssooo strange – pleasant, but just on a different level of awareness than most normal people.  Lived in his own little captain world.  Old and British and told stories that made no sense and weren’t really relevant. Overly polite but also we felt like he didn’t want to be there.  By the way, I saw captain multiple times a day and at EVERY meal.  I swear he’s just a figurehead who never drives the boat himself. We did a bridge tour later in the week and he made a point to roll on through and look like he was “captain-ing” at one point when we all know he just chills and makes his officers do it. Towards the end of the trip we were talking to him one day and asked how his day was, and he said he had to get up at 4 am to dock and was exhausted and slept all day afterwards.  First of all, 4 am isn’t that much earlier than a normal early wake-up time.  Second of all, docking start to finish only takes like 45 minutes MAX.  Third of all, it’s your job!!!!!!!

We finally pulled into our first port in Ketchikan on Thursday morning.  The boys each had a fun shore excursion to do (bear sanctuary, ziplining) but Brooke, Yolanda and I had a day of running from vendor to vendor to spend about 15 minutes each just learning what they offered and asking questions.  Yolanda used to travel in Alaska with Seabourn back in 2013, so she greeted every tour operator in every town as if they were her long-lost brother or sister and reunited after being away at war for six years. You’ll hear more about it as these blogs go on but lord she is the most dramatic person I have ever met and also not self-aware whatsoever but it’s fucking hysterical.  Today when we said goodbye I said, “honestly, Yolanda, I can’t remember a time before I knew you.” And that’s about how I can sum up our relationship.  

The bopping around was not as fun because we didn’t actually participate in any of the activities, and it was pouring rain.  But all things considered, not as bad as I expected it would be.  We met two super-hot fishermen (each of whom had a baby with their wives in the last week smh where do I get one) and heard all about their different excursions.  They sounded dope but there was freshly caught fish all around us on the docks and their eyes stared at me during the whole spiel and I couldn’t focus.  Why are fish eyes SO CREEPY? After a few more stops around town, our local tour operator Kari drove us to the end of the island to George Inlet Lodge and met one of the owner/operators, CANDI, who gave me a real “mom in Justified /Aunt Lydia in Handmaid’s Tale / whatever her real name is who just won an Emmy” vibe, except less cold blooded murder-y. They showed us their boats and excursions and then fed us an authentic meal just like the members would get, which included Dungeness crab legs.  I told myself before the trip started that I’d HAVE to try and eat more seafood because a) it’s fresh AF in Alaska so this is the place b) my excuse of “but it’s too expensive at restaurants” can’t apply here #freeunlimitedfood and c) I should try to immerse myself in the culture. If Kitty ever reads this she’ll die, also Kitty you should never go to Alaska.  We’re going to keep a running tab on all the seafood, I tried, okay?!  First: the “dungie” crabs.  Learned how to crack them open and everything.  They were relatively tasty, but I still don’t get why people lose their shit over crab legs, especially because it’s soooooo much work for so little payout.  I’m more of a low investment, high reward type.

After the lodge we drove to the opposite end of the island and got on a boat to drive out to Hump Island (lol) Oyster Farm, where a 20-year-old kid named Sean showed us around his dad’s operation.  He was the epitome of what I imagine an Alaskan braaaaaaaah to be and he was cracking me up. All self-deprecating humor about how no 20-year-old should know as much about oysters as him and all he wants to do is chill with his friends in the summer, not tumble oysters 12 hours a day. There were tons of pots all around the little floating island and he explained it takes an oyster about 3 years to grow to maturity and be ready to be eaten/sold, so I asked him if the pots were organized by relative age so you know which ones are new and which need more time, etc.  He said, “honestly we’re just oyster farmers we’re not the brightest most organized guys in the world but that would make sense, wouldn’t it” but all with a sweet douchey little smile only a college kid could get away with.  The thing that struck me most was just how different “summer jobs” in Alaska are for kids than in say, DC.  They don’t work at fast food restaurants or for their dad’s law firm or at daycare blah blah blah, they work on boats or on oyster farms or fishing or logging or giving tours to cruise passengers.  Builds character! And calluses!  They fed us fresh oysters after that which I really didn’t want because I had an oyster one time and I thought it was gross, but again, had to.  And it tasted better than I remember probably because I was literally on the farm where it was grown, kinda like how beer tastes better at a brewery because it never has to travel. 

Back on the ship that night, we ate at what is literally called The Restaurant.  The ship only has a few dining options – The Restaurant, which is pretty shmancy and requires a reservation (but not for us VIPs of course who had the same table reserved for us every night), the Colonnade (buffet-style, ate all of our breakfasts and lunches there) and the Grill, which is a VERY SHMANCY Thomas Keller restaurant that has cut-throat competition for reservations and apparently our members lose their minds over.  We ate there a few nights later and I accidentally got hammered on my new favorite drink, Old Cubans, and had to be essentially rolled out of there in front of the Super Hot Waiter I’m in Love With, Thomas from Belgium. Literally just conjured his face in my mind when typing this and felt an internal swoon.  I miss him so much.  ANYWAY we ate at the Restaurant each night, which had fixed menu options on the right hand side and a rotating left menu.  I tried to be ~adventurous but mostly ate a lot of steak.  Had a black truffle risotto one night and literally loved it so much asked for a second portion.  Going to the lake this weekend and stuffing myself in a bikini is going to be like, a three-person job. We had the same two servers each night – Anastasiia, a 25-year-old Russian girl who love/hated us and today tried to do a bike excursion after never having ridden a bike before and eventually gave up because she crashed too much (I said, “Anastasiia! You can’t just try and ride a bike and hope it goes well, you need someone to guide/teach you until you’re comfortable!” Smh) and Simba, a South African angel who had a crush on me and calmly put up with all of my Lion King jokes.  Listen, other than Super Hot Waiter Thomas, they all had a crush on me.  Maybe they found my complete lack of adherence to their dress code sexy in a “fuck the rules” kind of way?? (How is one supposed to dress for “elegant casual” nightly anyway…) Maybe it was how I insisted night over night that I was “one of them” and not a client because I was here for a site visit and begged them to let me hang out with them?  (The assistant Maitre’D Marius tried to pull so many strings to allow us to be invited to crew Bingo night but alas, we were rejected.) Or maybe it was because I was one of the only people on the ship under the age of 60 and I shamelessly chatted and flirted with everyone I saw, at every meal… It’s hard to say. Simba even publicly sang me a love song at the last night at dinner.  

Slept that night and woke up to the most magical, mystical, ethereal scenery of the Misty Fjords surrounding us.  I’ll post a picture so you can truly understand how magical these were.  Pouring rain but gorgeous and foggy and tranquil. TO BE CONTINUED!

[drnucleus]

I don’t know what to expect from IX. I’m really hoping it is endgame and they don’t just drop the romance angle, but it’s also kind of what I’m expecting? Like I don’t expect follow-through from it, even though I would love it if it happened

Hi Nonnie, 

I totally get it. I understand that completely. Do I think it’s endgame? Yes. 

However am I going into IX with any expectations? NOPE. I’m a fandom granny. No seriously I have lived through so many fandoms that I simply go in with no expectations. That way if what I think might happen if even in some small way happens then I will be super happy and overjoyed and if it doesn’t I am usually able to divorce myself from my disappointment and respect the creator’s vision.

As a writer and someone who was professionally trained to do so, I know that creators have a vision. They have an endgame in mind. And they drop breadcrumbs about it from the beginning and if you’re clever enough to see them you usually can figure out any story. 

This is why I ruin police procedurals for my mom. My dad and I made a game of it watching Law and Order as a kid growing up (and I mean OG Law and Order with Det. Lenny Briscoe). Whomever could figure out who committed the murder first won. We used to keep a running tally. My dad was really good at it, but when I got really into reading and started reading mystery novels and horror novels and other stories that rely heavily on mystery boxes I started getting better at it. We also watched Law and Order because my two actor 2nd cousins have been guest stars as defense lawyers idk how many times but that’s neither here nor there.

And tbh ESB’s twist of Vader as Luke’s father came as such a shock because IDK if even Lucas really knew he was going to do it until he did it. Luckily the story was vague enough in ANH that a throw away line about certain points of view was enough to close what could have been a crippling plot hole. 

My mom is an OG Star wars fan. Mostly bc she loves the pew pew and the lightsaber battles, and secondly because Harrison Ford is a very handsome and talented man (tbh my first crush was Han Solo and second was Indy).

My mom was there when everyone was UP IN ARMS about Leia and Luke kissing. And how that was SOOOOOO going to be endgame. Which originally Lucas had intended that Leia would be a love interest for Luke and that the twin sister would be revealed in 7, 8 and 9 someday. However during writing ROTJ and filming ESB he decided to really hone in on Leia and Han’s chemistry (granted Irving was directing then) but he made the narrative choice to make Leia the sister and Han her love interest. It simultaneously elevated Leia’s narrative importance and made her the leading lady of her own story on equal footing to her equally powerful twin brother instead of just being Luke’s sidekick love interest.

Even when I was a KID and I saw ESB it always kind of made me laugh that Leia’s response to Han goading her about liking him was to smack lips with the only other humanoid male in the room just to prove how NOT smitten she was with Han. (AND if that doesn’t make her simultaneously Padme and Anakin’s child I don’t know what will convince you otherwise).

TPM came out when was was 13 and a half which will be 20 yrs ago next May - HOLY FUCK. And I’ve been an avid reader since I could read so I had gobbled up countless numbers of books by then. I was in the theater with my parents and legit held my hand up over Ian’s eyes and gasped and tugged on my mom’s sleeve. 

“Mom that’s THE EMPEROR” and she was like “No honey he’s just a senator who’s now chancellor of the republic”

And this was still in the age of Dial-up internet and no IMDB. So I did my own digging and found our VHS copies of the OT and looked at the cast listing at the end of the movie. And saw the same name playing the Emperor as the man playing Senator-Chancellor Sheev Palpatine. Now the movies in the OT never actually say the Emperor’s real name. He’s just the shadowy, scary Emperor with lightning bolts shooting out of his hands. So like we knew in TPM that Palpy was going to become the emperor. Now say what you will about the Prequels but Lucas did do a fair bit of narrative arc planning with it than what he threw together with the OT. 

He knew we had to meet Anakin as a boy, see him as a caring and compassionate individual who is uniquely gifted in the Force. And that had circumstances been different he would have probably been the paragon force sensitive and balanced the force. However due to realistic flaws of all characters, good and bad alike, including flaws within Anakin’s character himself he falls prey to the darkside and it’s temptations and then becomes the very thing he feared.

Tbh next to TLJ, ROTS is right up there with ESB as my favorite in the saga. Sure the dialogue is wooden and clunky. Lucas is not a dialogue director. He’s a vision director. He has a scene in his mind, and he wants it played like that. Which is fine. He also came from a school of thought in the 1970s where sci-fi was pure camp and overdramatic. His style never really changed. The OT is so lauded because he didn’t direct all of them. He had other people come in and he had script doctoring and his first wife in the editing room taking his vision and turning it into a cohesive narrative. We seem to forget that Lucas was a young dude right out of film school when he made ANH. He barely knew how to string a narrative together and the early cuts of ANH were terrible and nowhere near what people saw in the theater. Don’t believe me? Google “how star wars was saved in the editing room” it’s a remarkable story about how Lucas’s first wife and principal editor basically made ANH into an actual story instead of a mish mash of ideas that it was before. The prequels had Lucas at the helm for all three. Yes by then he had gotten a hold of narratively what he wanted to convey, but he still didn’t always convey it in the most efficient ways.

But there are moments in the prequels that I’m stunned by their perfection. “This is how liberty dies? With thunderous applause.” as Padme watches in horror as the Republic becomes an empire before her eyes. It’s perfect to convey the horror she feels and her disgust at what the thing she’s fought for so long to just crumble and slip away. 

Or the entirety of the Anakin v. Obi Wan Mustafar battle. Visually STUNNING, and heartbreaking. You can feel how much neither of them want to fight the other but how they both are so entrenched in their now opposite ideologies that they know they have to fight. 

I’ve also been a fan of JJ’s for a long time. 

Sure he loves mystery boxes but he usually makes the answer SO obvious that most people ignore it. 

Like on Lost which I never actually watched save for maybe a few episodes, it’s pretty clear that something metaphysical is going on in that island with the crash. And there are clues dating back to the pilot as to what happened in the finale. 

In TFA we’re introduced to Rey. We’re given a mystery box of who is Rey and why is she important and who is her family. But we’re also given the answer. She’s no one. And that’s why she’s important. She is no one. She doesn’t need to have this huge galactic sized legacy on her shoulders to be important, to be special. SHE IS NO ONE. And that’s why the Force chose her as its vessel. 

Reason why is that she’s narratively the perfect foil for her counterpart Ben Solo/Kylo Ren. He has all that legacy and weight on his shoulders. They’re equals in power in strength, in light and darkness. They are complete equals. And TFA was all about establishing that fact. Now TLJ was all about deepening that initial connection. To get them both to scratch beneath the surface of one another, and get under one another’s skin. In doing so Ben learned that Rey just wants to belong, to be loved and have a place in the galaxy. And Rey, she learned that Ben is just as lonely, but has rejected his birthright because he felt rejected and abandoned by those who should have unconditionally loved and protected him from Snoke (which granted OT Trio tried but they def didn’t have great parenting examples either sooooo).

Now as an adult Ben is bitter, full of resentment and rage because the people he should have been able to count on fucked up royally. And I love that. I resonate with it because of my own experiences as an abuse survivor too. But even more so because it makes Han, Leia and Luke less perfect legends and more human. It makes them real and relatable that they tried to do everything right by their kiddo but ended up fucking him up.  Luke’s betrayal itself was the least shocking part of TLJ tbh. Like does no one remember him going ABSOLUTELY banana balls insane when Vader threatened Leia in ROTJ?

That kind of Skywalker level extra doesn’t just go away with age. 

And yeah Ben needed someone in the fam to be like “so kid, um, lets talk about this.” No one in the OT Trio is good at talking about their feelings. Luke tries to control his by just not dealing with it - the kind of thing you’d expect from a “pray the depression away” type. Leia ignores it and bottles that shit until it comes out as thinly veiled anger. And Han is the most ridiculous of the three with his constant hot and cold routine throughout ESB.

The ST is yes about the failures of the OT trio, the failures of the Jedi and the Sith. But it’s also a story about the force and it’s two chosen vessels. A girl from nowhere and the last scion of the Skywalker line. The fact that their connections in TLJ are coded as sexual awakenings is very indicative of where I think this is all going to go. The Force is basically the Skywalker Patriarch if we’re going on the whole immaculate conception with Shmi. And Ben fell from his path for years now thanks to the other Skywalkers falling from the path and inadvertently pushing him down the rabbit hole with Snoke, manipulating everything like a master of puppets. 

JJ himself even said he was upset that he didn’t get to direct TLJ because he loved Rian’s script so much. 

I have faith we’re going to get a hell of a finish to the 9 film Skywalker saga. With Reylo as endgame or not I think we’re going to get something truly satisfying that links all 9 movies together in a way that will have meta writers writing for years to come about all the parallels and thematic Leitmotifs within the narrative as a whole that encompasses technically 4 generations of Skywalkers (Shmi, Anakin, Luke/Leia, and Ben).

When Ben killed Han in TFA and you get that focused in shot of Adam’s face as the weight of what he just did HITS him and his eyes widen and his lips part, you see the exact moment he shatters his soul realizing that he just seriously fucked up. I leaned over to my best friend that night in the midnight showing and said “do you smell redemption arc?” and I’ve been on that train from day one. 

If he were truly irredeemable he wouldn’t have split his spirit to the bone by killing his father. He wouldn’t have cared to try to convince Rey to be her teacher in the middle of their battle. He wouldn’t care that Rey stares at him like she did that night and call him a monster. A real monster wouldn’t care at being called one. And is so very shook and pained by that moniker with his lower lip quiver and his eyes red rimmed. If he were truly irredeemable he wouldn’t have killed his master just to save the girl, he’d have just usurped power and shrugged her off instead of trying to convince her to stay with him. He wouldn’t have addressed her fear and insecurity of being nothing and no one while shaking his head and saying “but not to me”. If he were truly a monster he would have pulled the damn trigger when his had the bridge of the Raddus in his sights but couldn’t because he felt his mother’s love for him even after everything he’s done.

Has he done terrible things? YES. He definitely has. But he has the equal potential for amazing things as much as he has for the terrible things he’s done. And I for one will be happy to see him begin to even slightly embrace that potential by the end of ep 9. Reylo or no Reylo I’m sure I’m going to be happy with ep 9. There’s no way Adam and so many other brilliant actors would have signed on without at least knowing where this is all gonna go. Adam himself was hesitant to take on the burden of SW but was convinced to do so because of the complexity of Ben’s character. That to me says we’re getting something amazing in ep9. And I can’t wait.

[scrumptiousdonutangel]

All!!!

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

Whenever I clean at work I always hum to myself so I guess a few days ago

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

if what I did with my life would ultimately change anything, like if it would touch people’s lives and make even the tiniest difference

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

I’m not really sure, I’ve done a whole lot but It’s hard to pick something like that

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Spending this Christmas break having bonfires ans singing old country songs

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

Yeah, I would work like wayyyy more to save up for my brothers

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

Go to Greece, Get a New Year’s kiss, and Get my own place

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

The chillest person ever, super down to earth and pretty much down for anything, honest but not in a brutal way just in a simple truths kind of way, smart but in ways the world doesn’t like to realize, has it all figured out but doesn’t even realize it themselves

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

At some points, it was a mixture like most people’s childhoods

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

I mean I cried cutting onions not too long ago

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

My friend/neighbor ; cause we always stargaze together

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

Yeah, I feel like that’s easier than opening up to someone who you know

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

I think we just talked about mcdonalds lmaooo ; my friend

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

I’d tell my brother how much i love him and how proud i am of who i know he’ll become

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

fucKIN GOOOOODDDDDDD SHHIIIIITTTTTTT

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“There is nothing to writing, you just sit down at a typewriter, and bleed” boii this is what i base my life off of not just my writings 

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

My friends always joke that it’d be “I’m fucked, but like not that fucked”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

keep most of it for my brothers and emergencies, buy a house, put a ton in the bank and then donate the fuck out of that

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

nope ; i think that if you push me that far its fair of me so yeah i guess

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

oh my gosh it would literally just be: stttooopp what are you doing?!?! go to bed. make some friends. live your life you stupid kid!

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel lol I’ve been told I “have the style of a disney princess”

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

i want more soooooo bad ; fucking cool 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Depends on what you think is alot ; I use it as a routine type of thing when i have a busy/chaotic day to calm anxiety and stuff

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

Literally Dodie helped me with my sexuality so much with her song “She” 

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

“everybody shut the fuck up and just help someone.”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

For king and country: lit as fuck

Toby mac: more hip hoppy but a bop

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I’d like to get back in touch with my pen pal tbh, and I’d like to just hear how she’s been

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

I have a desk yeah and everything is sorted from big to small folder wise and everything else is color coded

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

take off my makeup, take a shower, change into pjs and pass out

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

God there is SO MUCH I don’t want my parents to know 

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

magenta ; I’ve been wanting to try it out

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

@darhwolf , @dog-dyke , @s1n-am0n , @novodust , @itsaprescriptionsandwich

and Traveling Europe or Canada would be amazing

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

For the health and safety of my family, to be able to find long lasting love, and to be able to experience the world and all it has to offer ; i feel like none of those really need explaining

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

I went as alice in wonderland this year and I thought it was pretty cute

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

cried over grass having feelings 

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

There isn’t much I WOULDN’T do for that much

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

the song ; i socialize way too much

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

Yeah ; It’s kind of terrifying but exciting at the same time, and if you’re oblivious like me you won’t even realize it until someone mentions just how in love you look and then you’re like oHHHHSHIIIITTTTT

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

I don’t know if I could pull it off tbh

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

I really try anything but I mostly just get black coffee ; that’s way too confusing of a menu to trust any of my friends with

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Getting prepared for the future