#these silly firemen are in my brain

[jh-sketches]

inside out if it was filmed inside of my head-

[joydoesathing]

heres a challenge say everything you love about every single tnmn characters

BET ( but only some doppels will count and the rest don't)

Neighbors

Roman - I like me some serious no-nonsense/ i-am-done-with-life looking guy in accounting :). But he seems to also be actually someone with a soft spot for some things and is actually a really nice and chill dude

Lois - She's so pink and plump and has a beauty mark/mole (people with moles will always have a bonus in my book)

Albertsky - He gives grumpy uncle vibes. Looks like would probably throw hands without hesitation if the situation calls for it

Robertsky - He silly. Love the little quirks in his dialogue where he just greets the doorman "Hi." and says "I look as handsome as ever". Also, I love his outfit. Bro may have no eyebrows and neck visible, but his clothes slay so hard . Like there is no reason why his fit should have a fancy little blue scarf, but yet it does .11/10 XD

Angus - He's a devious looking little shit >:))). And he wears purple and is Italian.

Elenois and Selenne - They pretty women and have a mole

Arnold - His design is just SO CUTE. He reminds me of Jake from Adventure Time with his mustache. But mostly it's the eyes for me. I like to imagine that his eyes would kind of work like this

Gloria - Gives literal ✨Q U E E N ✨ (she could slap me up to the stratosphere and I wouldn't be that mad). Purple and has a mole. Her golden eyes are mesmerizing too

Izaack - His name's cool and he has the stare-into-your-soul blue anime ahh looking eyes

Margarette - Gives nice little auntie vibes and she knows how to make clothes. I would legit ask her for dressmaking tips just so that I could make historical clothes (I love fashion history)

Nacha - Honestly, when I first played the game, she scared the shit out of me because of the Stitchface doppel and I haven't seen her the same for a bit. But after I figured out she's a mom, she didn't seem that bad and I grew quite fond of her. And she cooks too (If you can see a pattern here, I like people who give of parental/familial vibes)

Anastacha - Girl literally gives the doorman attitude like she owns the place XD

Mia - Again, pretty woman. Love the style of her red dress with the pearls.

Dr. W. - Fucking nerd (affectionate)

Francis- The milkman fit looks nice with his face (but I still get war flashbacks from the plethora of thrists arts and the "save the cow, milk the milkman" line being done to death)

Steven - Here's me being a basic bitch rn, but I really, REALLY love them real rugged guy guys (military soldiers, firemen etc.) That, and also he's a tan boi.

Mclooy - Same reason why I like Steven + He's a DILF/GILF. Also I love to point out a little observation of how him and Steven are one of the most American and typically masculine people I can think of (it's quite endearing for me). A military guy and cowboy in one family? They've probably asked what a kilometer is at one point in their adult life.

Alf - He's so tiny and looks so polite. Posh looking lawyer. I love sweet old grandpas.

Rafttellyn - She gives marites energy (it's a Filipino term, you can go search it up) with her dress and style. No joke, she would low-key fit in with these people.

Even her name sounds Filipino to me with the -lynn at the end of her. I even jokingly pronounce her name as rap-ti-lin.

Others + VIPs

Henry: Looks like he really never signed up for the doorman job frfr XD

D.D.D : Amongus???????

Clown Mask: Silly face behind mask

Nightmare Clown: I like how the guy just gets so MAD and in denial when he loses the game in Unlikely, he phases out of the astral plane XD.

Keppler: He may not have a face or proper lore yet, but all I know is that he messed up big time and I wanna know how he's handling that.

42: Reminds me of that one time in science class when we were observing fingerprint patterns

Peach Peach: Probably one peach seed is his only brain cell that's floating around his brain space

Ghost Mask and The Flesh Nurse: Cool looking designs. Do they have lore???

Nightmares

Xezbet - Gargamel looking aah

Drugia - Arabian NIIIIIIGHTS ~~~~~ like Arabian DAAAYS~~~~~~. She looks like a genie :)

Barbatos- Chonky and spiky

Excel - Chonky and spiky, Christmas ham looking ahhh

Abducius - Well, he still has the little devious smile

Anazareth and Lilith - Pretty witchy ladies. Though I like Anazareth a lot more.

Chaugnar - *Siri, please play Ganesha by MASA Works Design". Also elephant <3

Nyogtha- Nice little details with her eyes

Zoth - I like his red robe (?)

Shub - Thick Medusa and she has a little heart shaped tattoo on her forehead

Yog - The fact that he was probably intentionally made to be a Great Value Edward Cullen by Nacho sama as an inside joke about Francis' simps

Quachil - Cute biblically accurate angel. And she floats

Yan - Ooh Chinese mythology reference.

Orcus - "Thirty years since all this happened, thirty years it took to rise. Blood on the floor and in their eyes, they took a bite and left it to die-". I had a FNAF phase before so this was a funny throwback

Ishtar - Goofy ass smile (affectionate)

Teutates - So, does he play in a band ??? XD

Ah Puch - Cutie pie that looks like a slasher villain. Also the surname tho? Gives me The Book of Life flashbacks

Dagda - Bug eyed scarecrow. He does have cool looking mouth stitches

Izanami - Ooooh Japanese mythology reference

[housewifebuck]

How do they do that 😭 I can't stop thinking about anything I love and I will check the tags like the morning paper even if there's nothing in it

I kinda understand because my brain honestly rarely lets me stay focused on one thing for more than a month or two before I need New Stuff. this is the longest ive been active in a fandom (since may) for a long time actually and I was rly getting worried that the hiatus would go on for so long that I would lose my hyper fixation but somehow I am holding onto these silly little firemen for dear life still

[runeathan]

Silly storytime with Runeathan;

So a few days ago, me and my partner were on a walk to get McDonald's and about a few minutes away; I heard a cat Meow.

Listen, I live in an area where I *know* people would love to fuck with someone and just meow out and see what kind of responses they would get back. My ADHD brain then started Meowing back. Then the meow returned.

This went on for a good few seconds until FINALLY my brain found a cat. In the tree. Across the road from us.

My guys I thought this kind of shit only happened in movies or cartoons. My partner went out to the person's home where the tree stood to gander some attention or get a ladder to bring the cat down. We found the owner of said cat and she returned to the ground shortly after us, the owners, and the home owner circled the tree.

My genuine instinct is that if the cat hadn't come down I was going to call the fire department BECAUSE THATS WHAT FUCKEN HAPPENS IN CARTOONS!! The firemen show up and they bring the cat down, everyone's happy. Big W's for the firemen.

At the end of the day we managed to get our mc Donald's and ran into our friends.

[ambivalenceshefelt]

Over the years, since they lost Damian, Nikki often thought of how rarely their family expressed love, how unappreciative they all were of getting to spend time together. Of having time together. She often found herself trying to remember when she had last spoken to him before he died; what had they said to each other, what he last said to her, what she had last said to him. Had she missed a call of his? Had she moaned about something silly or had he asked her to do something? She tried to remember if she had told him she loved him last they spoke. Nikki couldn’t remember; it was a crucial detail and yet she couldn’t remember. She remembers telling him he was an ass, she remembers telling him she missed him..but she couldn’t remember if she had told him she loved him.

Did he even know? Did he die not knowing for sure she still loved him just like when they were kids —and more?

“My ass is iconic, thank you!” she replied cheekily. It was what she did, drunk or sober; she diffused situations. “Even as a figment of my imagination you’re giving yourself worry wrinkles.” She teased. How was it possible he seemed older in this dream? Maybe it was her mind playing tricks on her, combined with the booze; maybe it was supposed to be more comforting to picture him as he’d be if he was alive…

“I’m here, I’m here. I’m just..off-centered.” Nikki said, proud her brain could still function enough for her to be a smartass. Nikki blew out a breathy laugh being picked up. “Put me down, you’ll freak out my Uber driver!” she said giggling, patting his shoulder. “Hey!” she said, sounding a little pissed “Don’t lie to me!” she wiggled in his arms a little violently hoping to feel ground beneath her feet. “You can’t do that! You can’t stay with me, I have to come to you. That’s how dying works!” she said feeling hurt and unamused at being lied to by his ghost in her head.

With a huff, Nikki pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s not shitty. You just hate you had to carry my mattress to the second floor.” She shot back. “And if you must know, the firemen carried it up for me last year.” Nikki said stubbornly, as if her brother was actually alive and he’d be jealous she relied on other guys instead of him. “I burn houses down but they love me.” She said with a ‘take that!’ nod. “You’d like 307 better though…” she gave him the number of her new apartment, info-dumping on him. He was a ghost, what would he do!? “It’s got a better view.” || @damiankeaton

There were many, many days that Damian found himself dreaming of ways he could finally see his sisters, his family again. It kept him going, the mere thought that they were alive and well, that they were living their lives whilst he sacrificed so much. He couldn‘t imagine the pain his death must have caused him, but as far as he knew, it was still better than risking their lives. 

Now, as he was observing his sister, clearly in an awful state, he was regretting every choice he‘s made. Were they really better off without him around while he worked on that damned mission? Most likely no. Especially not now. And when she spoke again, Damian‘s fears were only but comfirmed, much to the older man‘s horror. „Since when? I‘ve always worried about your sorry ass.“ He tried to joke, but he couldn‘t mask the never- ending worry in his voice. The coast was clear, the stranger was not around anymore, allowing for the man to focus completely on his little sister. 

“Hey- hey, stay with me, okay?” Damian caught her easily as she leaned into him maybe a little too heavily. Had the stranger done something to her? Hurt her in less visible ways? His blood boiled once more, but there was only so much that he could do right now. Instead, he shifted a little, still keeping a hold on his little sister, easily picking her up. “I won’t leave again, I promise.” Not when he was no longer working for CIA, at least. He couldn’t handle another assignment like that, not after all he was left with. “Let’s get you home, okay? Is it the same shitty little apartment that you live in?” He hoped that banter, or at least his teasing, would keep her up, all the while getting worried by the minute as Nikki rambled on. How much had he missed out on? @ambivalenceshefelt

[tohavefaithistofindwings]

Time to be brutally honest and just throw feelings out to the internet. That’s the healthy way to cope right? Oh well. 

Here I am. Alive still. Two years after the car accident. I’m still angry. I’m still in pain. I’m still discovering new issues from that night. I’m still recovering. 

Along with all the other issues that were caused like broken bones, we discovered this past year that my spine took a lot of trauma. *shock* 

I have been in varying levels of extreme chronic pain for the past 11 months. And varying levels since the accident so about 2 years. The latter being expected to a certain extent. Being in extreme pain that limits my mobility while planning a wedding, while getting married, while going on my honeymoon, while working on shows non stop in between. Not great for morale as you can probably guess. 

Basically, I have in simple terms is early spinal degeneration. Because of the damage done, my lower back is kind of giving up. 3 out of 5 lumbar discs are herniated or torn or both. and several have started to develop bone spurs. It took almost 3 months after my pain got extremely bad for doctors to give me that diagnosis. But even then they sugar coated it. I’ve seen a surgeon and he wants to fuse my spine to prevent further damage to my nerves and back in general. I’m waiting on a second opinion before we pursue that option.

I’m scared to pursue the surgery. What would that mean for my future? I’m 25. I’m too young to be dealing with my body breaking down. No one can even promise that this will resolve my pain or make it better. They can just promise a reduction of pain after I heal. Plus they are operating on my spine. MY SPINE. They are directly working around the nerves that let me walk and move and go to the bathroom on my own. Yeah. That’s a symptom I have to be watching for. If I lose control of my bowels I have to go to the ER immediately. TMI? Maybe. Its not really something I want to be thinking about when I have to use the bathroom. 

Doing the surgery would mean I’d be out of normal life for 4 months. 4 months of not working, of not doing shows, of not pursuing things I want to be doing. And after that I don’t know what I’ll be able to do. I have a lot of things I cant do. Like go on roller coasters. Which is a silly one to be sad about but still its something. I feel like I am just starting to get my life back from the last time. I’m getting booked for shows. I’m somewhat satisfied in my day job. I’m scared what it means for my future if I’m gone for 4 months again. I don’t know how I’ll be after the surgery. The doctor says he’s had firemen go back to work afterwards but they don’t have the other damage I do. And there are so many risks. So many risks. 

My therapist asked me if I was ready for the surgery. And I said I dont know. She said that there is more than just my body to consider right now. She says I need to be emotionally/mentally ready for the surgery. I dont know if I can ever get to that point though? I’m so risk adverse I don’t know if I can do it if I play by those rules.  Mentally, I’m not even over the accident. I thought I was getting better. But I keep having flashbacks of  that night. They are so vivid and real. I’m living it over and over again. I can see the headlights coming at me. I can hear myself saying “no no no” and the TripleA agent asking what is wrong. I remember waking up sprawled into the passenger seat. Everything hurt. I had no idea where I was. I remember struggling to sit up in my seat. It was so hard, my body felt heavy. I remember feeling the rain and someone asking if I was ok and struggling to reply. I remember touching my face and it was wet. The dashboard of my car was splattered with blood. I was so alone. People were standing outside of the car in front of it. I could see them through my front windshield. I remember screaming blurred words to them. Help. Help me please. please. I felt so utterly alone. Somewhere in all of this, I grabbed my phone and the wallet I had open in the passenger seat from trying to call the tow truck. I closed my eyes and just waited. I couldnt move. I didnt know why. I remember the first responders cutting me out of the car and asking if I could walk. I said a garbled I dont know. They pulled me out and i took one step and almost fell. The pain was too much something was wrong. They carried me to the stretcher just a few steps away. They strapped me into it. The rain was falling harder. I was soaking wet by now. They hooked the stretcher into the ambulance and it hurt so much as they shoved me in and got it latched safely. They tried asking me questions. I tried talking but everything was so garbled, I guess they couldnt hear me. They assigned me a trauma name. Georgia. All I can think about is the pain in my leg. I was shouting. My leg. My leg. They helped lift it up under a pillow. Its only slightly better. I remember them cutting off my clothes. I had just gotten new black jeans and I was wearing a brand new flannel that I loved. I asked them to not cut my flannel and they tried as best they can to help me out of it. Little did I know it was already ruined from the blood and from the car. When they cut me out of the car, it had gotten in the way. It was silly that I cared so much about a flannel shirt, shock can do that to you. I remember very little from the ride. I was in and out of consciousness apparently. I remember at one point hearing the EMTs laughing and I couldnt say anything. I dont know what they were laughing about, but I just remember that sound. My brain makes me think they were laughing about me, but I so hope I am wrong. The pain was worse getting pulled from the ambulance into the ER. The jarring slams of the stretcher coming out then down out of the bus. I remember a doctor asking me questions. She had a kind face. They put me under so I remember very little in the ER. I remember waking up at one point getting put into a CT machine then I was out again. I remember hearing doctors talking in the room. And talking about my scans or X-Rays. Who knows? I woke up again to my mother and Annie talking in the room somewhere. When I tried to call out to them, they came over. Then asking how I was etc. I was covered in bruises. I literally had a list of things that were wrong. My mom took photos of my face and my body so I could see since I couldnt move. The doctor told me I would need surgery the next day. Then when I complained of more pain, they discovered another thing to add to the list and scheduled another surgery. 

That night and those days are seared into my brain. The photos of my car the next day. My brother telling me of the blood covering the inside of my car turned brown while drying. I found out later on that the TripleA agent that was on the phone with me called back, multiple times and left worried voicemails. I had at least 7 from them. From what I understand, they are the reason 911 got to me so quickly. 

I’m sorry if this is all too graphic or whatever. I just need to put it down in some form. I hope that writing it out it stops pushing to the front of my brain. The smallest things trigger me right now. Some have nothing to do with cars or the accident. 

Its been 2 years. I’m still recovering. I celebrated a small personal victory the other day. I was able to take the stairs two at a time without needing a handrail and minimal pain. I wasn’t running or anything. Just casually walking up. It was exicting but no one really understands why. Its just normal for them. Its something I’ve not been able to do for so long. This pending surgery makes me scared for what other things am I going to be losing, forever or even just for a very long time. Is it going to effect my progress in the other things? 

I just want to move on. I want to leave it in the past. The scars are there, can the trauma just stop now? I’m so tired. I’m so tired of being “strong”. I’m ready to be done. I’m so done with all of this. 

[rileysluke]

can i be him ✗ part five

A/N: guess who’s back back back, back again. okay so i’m so  sorry for such a long wait, i totally did not anticipate for it to take so long for me to get another chapter out! I had a few issues in personal life which i had to put to rest & i appreciate all those concerned & thank everyone for their patience! This chapter is more of a filler, but I hope it is long enough without it dragging along! Words: 4,862 Previous chapters: One, Two, Three, Four

A soft sigh rolls past her lips as she runs her fingers through her dark locks, frustrated and fatigued by her own thoughts. She never really understood how her brain worked. It was James who left her during the middle of their date and yet she felt guilty because Lucas had stepped in so she wouldn’t look like a fool.

Things were getting way too complicated. The fact that she actually enjoyed Lucas’ company a lot more scared the hell out of her. What made things worst was when she saw the look on his face when she told him about James. She didn’t want to think that Lucas could look at her as more than a friend but there was just something about those solemn emerald hues that tugged at her heart strings.

She was in middle of tracing the rim of her cup of coffee, completely lost in her thoughts, when Maya returned from her phone call.

“Sorry about that,” She muttered. “I swear Josh never knows where anything is.” When she noticed Riley’s dazed expression, she snaps her fingers and begins to sing, “Earth to Riley!”

Riley is abruptly pulled out of her thoughts to find Maya’s inquiring gaze boring in to her. “Oh, you’re back. Is everything okay?”

“You tell me. What’s going on, honey?”

“I was on a date last night.”

Her azure eyes narrow down at the brunette as she brings her coffee up to her lips. “Yeah, with James. You came over beforehand, remember?”

“With Lucas. I was on a date with Lucas.”

In the middle of her sip, Maya almost chokes on her drink when her friend’s words reach her ears. “What?!”

Riley’s eyes widen at her outburst, noticing that they’d gathered an audience. “Calm down, it wasn’t anything like that.”

“Wha do you mean?!”

“James... He got a call and left before we even ordered anything,” She tells her, trying not to sound too phased by it.

Pursing her lips, she closes her eyes and sighs inwardly, as if trying not to lose her cool. She’s about to make a snarky comment about James’ idiocy but when her eyes flutter open, she takes note of her friend’s expression. It was obvious Riley was trying to keep herself together but the sorrow in her eyes betrayed her. She lets a reassuring grin touch her lips, her hand reaching over to squeeze it gently.

“Riles. What do you need for him to do so you could leave him? He’s literally doing all the wrong things.”

“What makes it worse is Lucas was there at some dinner with his family which he abandoned and kept me company the entire night. He even walked me home. I was mortified, Maya...” She trails off with a sigh, pressing her fingers against her temples as if she had a headache.

“Did you tell him about James?”

“Yeah. How could I not?”

“And...?”

“I don’t know... I felt like everything changed between us after I told him about me and Josh. You should’ve seen his face, Maya.”

“Do you think that maybe he might like you? It’s not like he knew you were taken until last night.”

Suddenly his somber expression from last night came to mind-- the way his usual light green eyes had darkened to a deep blue when she revealed her relationship status to him. Letting a small chuckle escape her lips, she shakes her head. “There’s no way.”

“You just said he was having dinner with his family. He’s a fireman. When could he possibly have free time to spare? And rather than staying with his family, he stayed with you instead.”

“He’s just being a good friend.”

“I don’t think so, Riles. But hey, I could be wrong. Just some food for thought.”

————————————————— ❤ —————————————————

After her talk with Maya, Riley found herself thinking about Lucas more than she probably should. She would check her phone every few minutes just to see if he texted her-- which he hadn’t. Walking down the hall to her door, she halted midway when she found James standing against it, clearly waiting for her.

What she wanted to do was turn on her heel and leave him waiting for nobody but she finds herself making her way over to him. “What are you doing here, James?”

“I’m sorry for last night, babe.”

“Don’t ‘babe’ me right now,” She says, side-stepping him to get to her door.

As she begins to unlock her door, he gently grabs her forearms to turn her around so she’d face him. “Riley... I really am sorry. You know I’d never actually leave during one of our dates-- if it wasn’t something serious, it wouldn’t even come to mind.”

“Have you ever thought about me, James? You’ve never been there for me. I can’t remember the last time where you actually asked me how I’ve been doing, what’s on my mind, how my day is--- or just be with me! ”

James was clearly surprised by her outburst as he watched her eyes fill with tears. “Babe--”

“No. I’m sick of being walked all over, James.”  Pursing her lips, she refuses to let the tears fall from her lashes as she turns to finish unlocking her door. Before he could say anything, she quickly walks inside, shutting the door behind her.

He had a key to her apartment. If he really wanted to make things right, would he leave or at least try to make things right? After a few moments had passed and there was no sign of James, she furiously wipes away her tears, refusing to cry over him and his lack of effort.

————————————————— ❤ —————————————————

For the next two weeks, Riley was ready to bang her head against a wall. James had been leaving notes and flowers on her desk at school every morning she came in. Even though she was surprised by the amount of effort he was putting in this time around, her thoughts kept drifting to Lucas and how he never contacted her since that night.

She’d be lying if she wasn’t hoping to run into him at the school, but it didn’t seem like that was happening any time soon. The weekend had come around again which meant she was at Topanga’s. Maya and Isadora had decided to come to keep her some company since Auggie decided to go out with Ava since their last date night failed miserable.

“So, what’s going on?” Maya asks, arching a brow at her best friend.

“I’m dying inside,” Riley says with such a genuine smile that her friends were almost taken aback.

“Shut up, bubbles. Don’t even joke about such things,” Isadora reprimands, shaking her head disapprovingly.

“So, no Lucas?”

Riley shoots Maya a knowing look. “No.”

“James?”

This time, she rolls her eyes. “He’s been leaving me apology notes and letters on my desk for a few weeks now.”

“He should be, considering he’s a jerk--”

“I kinda feel bad that I haven’t said anything,” Riley mutters, waiting for her friends to reprimand her.

Before they could, a shaggy haired little boy runs into the bakery with flushed cheeks and a smile playing across his lips. “Miss Riley!” He exclaims, his little feet carrying him towards the group of girls.

“Dylan!” Riley greets with a smile, though she’s certainly surprised to see him here. Her gaze flits to the door, wondering how he got here without his parents. Coming around the counter, she crouches down to meet his height. “What are you doing here?”

“I came with Santa,” He tells her with a toothy grin.

A small laugh rolls past her lips, her gaze flickering to her amused friends watching the boy before looking at the boy again. “There’s still some time till Christmas, Dylan.”

“Ho Ho Ho!”

A deep jocular voice booms through the cafe and in came Santa Clause with a male dressed as an elf. Everybody in the room was in high spirits at the sight of the man dressed up as Santa, and she couldn’t help but let a smile.

Dylan is giddy as ever, leaning over to whisper in his teacher’s ear. “it’s Unca Lucas!” He says before breaking out into giggles.

Riley’s smile falters slightly, ignoring the way her heart pounding in her chest as she stood up. She assumed this had to do with the annual tradition of firemen dressing up for the holiday and going throughout the city wishing everyone with their obnoxiously loud sirens. “Can we get you anything, Santa?”

It’d been days since he last saw the brunette and yet it felt like months. He felt ridiculous especially since this was the first time he was seeing her since that night and he was dressed as Santa fricking Clause. He blamed Zay for the suggestion and for giving Dylan the idea to come here and visit his ‘favorite teacher’. He couldn’t help but let a small smile touch his lips at the sight of the familiar twinkle in her eyes. “Milk and cookies are my favorite.”

“You’re a little early this year, no?”

He’s about to respond until Dylan speaks up on his behalf, “Miss Riley! I just told you it’s Unca Luke!” He ushers for his uncle to reach to his level so he could pull down at the fake beard and when he finally does, he most certainly proves that it was Unca Look. “See, I told you, Miss Riley!”

Maya and Isadora secretly exchange mischievous smiles before taking sips of their drinks.

Lucas let’s a smile tug at the ends of his lips before kissing his nephew’s chubby cheek.

“Silly me,” She mutters to herself as she watches the interaction between the duo.

“Unca Luke told me that the real Santa Clause will visit on Christmas!”

“Unca Luke is a very smart man,” Riley teases, unable to restrain herself from smirking at the man in red as he stood up.

“Sucking up to Santa will get you nowhere,” Maya smirks, nudging her friend’s side jokingly.

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” The elf pipes up, smirking at Santa as if he’d made a very valid point.

Heat rushes to her Riley’s cheeks as she shoots daggers at Maya while Lucas does the same to Zay, very much wanting to knock some sense into both of their friends for their choice of friends. She then decides to go back around the counter to tend to a few other patrons who seemed to be waiting on her. While Maya and Isadora keep the little boy company with Zay, Lucas gets on line to order a drink-- and so he could talk to Riley.

“I’m sorry about my friend back there,” Lucas apologizes, shaking his head at the thought of Zay’s comment.

“Don’t apologize. I blame Maya,” She rolls her eyes before grinning slightly. “Can I get you anything Mr. Clause?”

Lucas chuckles, “Can I get a coffee?”

“No milk and cookies?”

His hand falls onto the pillow they used to give him a fake protruding belly, “Not today. They’re already catching up with me so I think I’ll have to wait till Christmas.”

Riley couldn’t help but let a small laugh roll past her lips before she turns to reach for the kettle. “How’ve you been? It’s been a while.”

“It’s been alright. I missed you,” He blurts casually without realizing and his eyes widen at his own idiocy. Fuck me. “All these fires getting to my head,” He mutters before speaking up again, hoping she forgets he even said anything. “And you? How about you? How’s everything?”

Riley almost lets the coffee kettle slip from her fingers when the words escape his mouth. She could feel the heat rushing up to her cheeks and she could’ve sworn she resembled a ripe tomato. Her heart beat began to pick up again but there was something so calming about those words coming from him that she couldn’t help but smile to herself for a moment before turning to face him again with his drink.

“Everything has been fine. I’ve just been busy with school, the bakery, and stuff...” She trails off with a slight shrug, resting his drink before him.

He’s slightly relieved she doesn’t poke fun at him for his little slip of the tongue. “And.. how is ‘stuff’?” He asks slowly, silently signaling to the matter of her boyfriend issues.

She purses her lips for a moment, sighing inwardly. “I haven’t really seen him since that night. He’s been saying ‘sorry’ but, once you break a vase can you possibly pour water into it? It’s useless at this point.”

His hand reaches out to grab hers gently, “I’m sorry, Riley.”

Her lips curve into a small smile, “What are you sorry about, silly? You didn’t do anything.”

“Well, if you need anyone. I’m always here,” He reassures her by squeezing her small hand in his.

“Hey Luke, we gotta get going. Your sister called, she’s asking for Dylan.”

The two look over at Zay who has Dylan in his arms. Lucas nods before turning to look at Riley with a small smile. “Thanks for the coffee.” He gets up from his stool and is about to leave until there’s a small tug at his hand and realizes Riley was still holding onto him.

“I missed you too, Lucas.”

————————————————— ❤ —————————————————

As he walks out of the bakery with Dylan and Zay, he bumps into someone and almost knocks them off their feet. "Oh shit my bad-- James?!" Lucas exclaims as the man before him dusts himself off.

James' brows crease together as he looks Lucas up and down, "I'm sorry Santa, do I know you?"

He chuckles a bit, pulling at the fake beard a bit to reveal his face properly. "James, it's Lucas."

James takes a moment to himself as he goes through a revelation, looking at Lucas and Zay while putting the pieces together. "Lucas Friar?! And Zay Babineaux?! Well I'll be damned. I haven't seen you guys since I left the team."

"It's been some time, huh? How's everything?" Zay asks, raising a brow.

"Honestly everything is pretty great. We should get together and have drinks some time soon. How about tomorrow night?"

"Uh, yeah sure. We should be free unless there's a fire, obviously," Lucas explains with a nod.

"Of course. Well, I'll see you guys. Gotta go win my girl back," He tips his head in a salute before heading towards Topanga's.

Once they watch him walk inside, the two exchanged suspicious glances in regards.

"You don't think..." Lucas trails off, his brows furrowing slightly. There was an odd unfamiliar feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach as he couldn’t help but think the worst.

“Let’s hope not. There’s no way Riley would date such a crazy dude,” Zay waves the matter off.

____

“Riley,” James rasps as soon as he enters the bakery, catching the attention of all three women.

Maya purses her lips, frowning distastefully at the sight. When she glances at Isadora, she can see the girl has mirrored her expression. When they look at Riley, they notice she’s halted in her steps at the sight of the male standing just a few feet away. “James. What are you doing here?”

“Can I please talk to you?” When he notices Maya arch her brows dubiously in his direction, he continues. “Without your body guards.”

Riley sighs, “I have to take care of the cafe. Whatever you need to say, you can say in front of them.”

James clenches his jaw momentarily, very much aware her friends weren’t happy with him right now. “Riley, please? Just a few minutes,” He pleads, hoping she gives in.

“Maya, can you look after the cafe until I’m back?” When her friend is about to protest, she gives her a knowing look before making her way past James and out the door.

James follows her out the door and finds her getting seated at one of the tables outside the cafe. “Have you gotten any of my letters?”

“Yes.”

“And...?”

“How is it that you’ve had time to drop by my work almost every day but never made this kind of effort beforehand?”

“I don’t wanna lose you, Riles. I know I made mistakes. I know I shouldn’t have left dinner, I acted poorly. Please forgive me, I really want to make it up to you.”

“Why should I believe you now, James?”

“Just give me one chance, Riley. Please?” His hand reaches out to grabs hers, his thumb running over her skin.

She’s stiff for a moment but when her eyes meet his pleading ones, she can feel herself softening. “One last chance,” She says tersely, albeit giving into his request.

A smile tugs at the ends of his lips, relief washing over him that she’s finally decided to give him a chance. “You won’t regret it, I promise.” He leans over and presses his lips to her cheek for a kiss.

“We’ll see,” She sings lightly before getting up, “I’m gonna get back to work.”

“I’ll call you?”

“Sounds good.”  

The two part ways and Riley is slightly hesitant as she heads back into the bakery, very well aware that her friends will eat her alive once they find out she made peace with him.

While Maya was tending a few customers, Isadora was looking at her expectantly as soon as she walked in through the door. When she noticed the expression spread across her friend’s features, she was sure of the result.

“I knew it,” The ebony haired girl breathes before letting her forehead fall onto her palm.

“You took him back?!” Maya exclaims almost dropping all the change she’d counted in her hand. She mutters an apology to the woman in front of her, handing her the money before taking a few strides towards the duo. “What did I just hear?”

“You heard nothing! I didn’t even say anything,” Riley protests, shaking her head at her friends’ behaviors.

“You didn’t need to Bubbles, it’s all over your face,” Isadora responds with a knowing look.

“What happen out there?” Maya demands, hoping her best friend didn’t make the choice she thinks she did.

“I’ve decided to give him one last chance,” Riley reveals tentatively, running her teeth over her bottom lip as she waits for her friends to react.

Isadora and Maya look at each other, visibly disappointed.

“What about Lucas?” Maya asks, raising a brow.

“What about Lucas?” Riley repeats tiredly. “Maya, Lucas never expressed any sort of interest in me for me to even think that there’s a chance between us,” She tells her, when in reality it seems like she’s trying to convince herself.

Maya sighs inwardly, ignoring the urge to disagree. She purses her lips for a moment before tilting her head slightly, concern etched onto her pretty features. “Please be careful, okay? I’m not gonna tell you to leave him but I really don’t trust James after everything he’s done and put you through.”

“I agree with Maya.”

————————————————— ❤ —————————————————

Surprisingly, James stuck to his word and made it a point to spend majority of weekend with her. Maya and isadora were thoroughly suspicious considering it was just too good to be true while Josh and Farkle refused to give any input in the situation knowing it’d only get messier.

When Monday rolled around again, Riley was in high spirits. Not only was it because Christmas was just a few days away, but everything finally seemed to be falling into place. She seemed happy and that was probably the only reason as to why Maya didn't want to rain on her parade or try to warn her again (which Riley was secretly appreciative of).

She was giving this relationship one last chance for the sake of everything they’ve been through and she’d rather not hear her best friend pester her about it, regardless of the ongoing lingering thoughts of a certain fireman.

"Dylan, what's wrong?" She asks as she'd noticed he kept resting his head against the desk and was much quieter than his usual jovial self.

It was time for recess and the kids were playing inside, considering it was too cold for them to be outside. While all the other kids were causing a ruckus, the shaggy haired little boy seemed to be the only one who seemed a little out of it.

“I don’t feel too good,” He mumbles, pouting naturally while doing so.

“Did you want to go to the nurse’s office, sweetheart?”

His eyes widen slightly before he shakes his head just barely against the desk.

She gently presses the back of her hand against his forehead and frowns when she notices how warm he is. “You’re burning up.” She mutters to herself. “I'll be right back, okay?”

Reaching her desk, she begins to look through her files to find the contact information for the students. Once she does, she begins to dial Serena’s number using one of the school phones.

“Hello?”

“Hi, This is Ms. Matthews from the pre-school-- Dylan’s teacher. Is this Mrs. Archibald?”

“Oh, Hi Ms. Matthews-- yes, this is Mrs. Archibald. Is everything okay?”

Riley couldn’t help purse her lips for a moment as she could sense the worry in the woman’s tone of voice already. “Everything is alright. Dylan doesn’t seem to be feeling too well and I think he might have a fever. I was going to send him to the nurse’s office but he is resistant to go. Do you think you’d be able to pick him up?”

Serena heaves a sigh, “Oh no. I’m actually at work right now, about to go into a meeting-- I’m gonna see if I can have Lucas come pick him up. Can I let you know in a few minutes?”

RIley cursed herself when she felt her heart race ever so slightly at the mention of Lucas. “Yeah, of course.”

The two hang up and she makes her way back to Dylan, crouching slightly so she was at his height. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the nurse’s office, Dyl?”

“I don’t like the nurse’s office,” He complains slightly, frowning.

When she feels her phone vibrate in her back pocket, she lifts her finger to Dylan to signal that she’d get back to him in a moment. Pulling it out, she sees Lucas’ name flashing on her screen. Taking a deep breath, she answers his call. “Hello?”

“Hey Riley, Serena just called me about Dylan and how he’s not feeling well? I’m on my way to pick him up, if you can just get him ready for me that would be great. Serena would’ve called but she had to go in a meeting and just chewed my ear off,” He chuckles, shaking his head though she couldn’t see.

Riley smiles slightly at the sound of his voice, “No worries. I’ll get him ready for you.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“See you.”

————————————————— ❤ —————————————————

As Lucas hangs up, there’s a hint of a grin tugging at the ends of his lips. But when he found himself thinking about this past weekend, the grin faltered almost immediately.

“Isn’t it weird how James was so eager to make plans with us?” Zay asks, plopping onto one of the stools in front of the bar.

The two were at one of the bars they frequently visited, waiting for James to show up. Considering it’s been some time since they last spoke, they thought it’d do some good if they caught up especially since their very ironic encounter outside the bakery.

“Yeah. It was a little weird.”

Before they could get into details, James had entered the pub and already began making his way toward them. He slides onto the stool next to Lucas, nodding at the two in greeting.

After ordering drinks, they spend the first hour talking about work, sports, and useless matters. They’d all surprisingly been enjoying themselves until James’ phone rang and he rolled his eyes before picking up the call.

Lucas and Zay secretly exchanged confused glances, waiting for the male to finish.

Once he does, he downs the rest of his beer before letting out a strangled sigh.

“You alright?” Lucas asks, raising a brow.

“Yeah, just this girl I’m dealing with. I accidentally slept with her-- she ended up getting pregnant and now won’t leave me alone. She keeps threatening to tell my girlfriend about it,” He confesses, shaking his head.

The other men weren’t sure how to respond, continuously sharing looks with each other while trying to be as subtle as possible.

“It sucks because my girlfriend, Riley, she’s really sweet and probably doesn’t deserve any of this. But this other girl, Lexie, is just really hot and now apparently pregnant. I’m just trying to see how far I can keep all this a secret before it blows in my face,” He chuckles to himself before ordering himself another beer.

Lucas almost dropped the bottle he’d been holding when the Riley’s name slipped past that idiot’s mouth. He tenses when all the puzzles begin to fall in to place and everything begins to make so much more sense. When those glassy amber hues come to mind, it takes everything within him to not turn and sucker punch the piece of shit sitting beside him.

“So you’re cheating on your girlfriend instead of breaking up with her? And you got another girl pregnant? Are you fuckin’ sane?” Zay blurts, not bothering with the formality as he’d put the pieces together as well. It was also because he’d met Riley and knew she didn’t deserve any of this.

James doesn’t seem to phased by the profanity as he raises his brow at the male, “Honestly probably not. But, I can’t let them go.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Lucas blurts incredulously.

“What?”

“Why are you doing this? Ruining people’s lives like this? The reason why you got kicked off the team was because you slept with the Chief’s wife and now you’re cheating on a good girl and got another girl pregnant. Do you realize what you’re doing? You need help, James,” Lucas spat, throwing a few bills onto the counter before hopping off his stool.

“What is wrong with you guys?” James asks, now seemingly offended.

“Us? Do you know what you’re doing? Playing with people’s feelings like that?” Zay was beyond annoyed at his density.

“Listen, think over what you told us James. Don’t mess around with somebody’s heart like that. Make the right choice for once.” Lucas takes a look at his phone before turning to Zay, “Chief’s calling, let’s go.”

Before he knew it, he was standing outside of Riley’s classroom. Running his hand down his face, he sighs into it before letting it fall by his side. Stepping into the room, he lets a small smile touch his lips at the sight of Riley instructing the other kids to begin cleaning their toys as recess was about to end. His gaze flickers over to his nephew who was bundled up in his coat, scarf, gloves and hat. He looked adorable and clearly tired. “Hey buddy,” He greets before lifting the boy into his arms.

“Lucas,” Riley acknowledges his presence with a smile as she walks over to him. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“It’s okay,” He chuckles, patting Dylan’s back gently. “How’s everything?”

“Everything is going really well actually, much better than we last spoke,” She tells him, her lips curving into a smile. “We made up, so...”

Lucas’ smile is tight as his mind keeps playing Saturday night in his head. If Riley is this happy this must mean James is still in her life which means he’s still probably cheating on her. “I’m glad.” When he hears Dylan mumble incoherently in his ear, his gaze flickers to boy resting his head on his shoulder. When his gaze returns to Riley, his features soften. “I should get going.”

The brunette nods understandingly as she begins to lead him towards the door. “I hope you feel better Dylan, get some rest okay?” She says in a more child-like tone, giving the boy a momentary back rub before looking at his uncle. “Before you leave, I wanted to ask... are you free Friday evening?”

The blonde haired male had a small smile playing across his lips as he watched her interact with Dylan. When she asks him about his plans, he takes a thoughtful moment to himself before responding, “I should be free. Whatsup? Is everything okay?”

She lets a small laugh roll past her lips, “Everything is fine. Maya is having this holiday party and I think you should come.”

“If you weren’t taken Ms. Matthews, I would’ve thought you were asking me out,” He teases lightly, though he secretly wishes it was true. Stupid bastard James was.

“You wish,” Riley retorts playfully all the while ignoring the heat rushing up to her cheeks. “Anyways, you should get going. I hope to see on Friday and feel free to bring Zay!”

“Sounds good,” He flashes her a smile before making his way out the door.

[pen-masta]

The Boy in the Window

Just a one shot I did a while ago

Warnings: implied abuse

For years I had known James Petterson. Hoovermill’s pre-school was where we first had met. I remember that even at a young age I was unpopular, no one knew who I was there for no one wanted to play with me. I had transferred half way through the year so everyone already had their little group of friends determined leaving me on the outside.

Troll dolls were my favorite toy at the time. No one wanted to play with the Troll doll either so I figure a lonely kid and a lonely toy were perfect for each other. I remember the day I met James Petterson. I was sitting off by myself playing with my doll when a little boy sat down next to me with his truck. Surprised I looked at him and he smiled showing me he was missing his two front teeth.

“Can I play with you?” He asked and pushed his truck to me, “You can use my truck if you want to. We can pretend that she’s an adventurer.”

James Petterson curly brown hair, bright blue eyes, a freckled nose, and the goofiest smile in the world. With that one act of kindness he began a friendship with me that would last a life time—a friendship that started with a truck and a Troll doll.

 Every year to follow that day we were the best of friends. Elementary school flew by with my best friend also being my next door neighbor. It didn’t take long for us to find out the powers of a string and some cups. Those years were filled with him and me talking non-stop in the evening and even during the day. He’d sit next to me in class and pass me notes about how silly the teacher’s dress looked.

We’d snicker to each other and pass notes back and forth—this of course landed us in the principal’s office. Elementary years also brought new jokes, and mini food fights we’d have at lunch—ending with us in the principal’s office again. We also made high honor roll all five years which got us awards from the principal ironically enough.

Elementary summer’s meant adventures! James and I would come up with all these great games like hunting for buried treasure—which turned out to be jewelry he took form his older sister’s room. My favorite was finding the hidden secrets of the world which was reading his sister’s diary and her chasing us around the house screaming that we were dead meat when she caught us. We pretended to be great explorers who found the lost city of tree people—in the woods. We didn’t always pester his older sister sometimes we’d antagonize my older brother as well, imagining he was the dragon and we had to sneak into his cave and get the crown jewels which were the candy he always had secretly stashed under his bed.

All we needed was each other and we could be anyone, do anything, and go anywhere to escape reality. Astronauts, firemen, cops, anything we wanted logical or not we could do it if we were together.

Middle school was pretty much the same with two more classes, two more teachers, and a boat load of more homework; but being next door neighbors made the homework part easy. We still used the old cup connection we had discovered years before. At night we’d work on our homework together and then talk for hours about normal pre-teen subjects: dumb teachers, mean kids, stupid sports, music, art, books, movies, video games, books again, clothes, comics, super heroes, and books.  Of course we knew we were growing up and we had set our childish games aside to focus on the reality we lived in—but I still got notes from him in class from time to time.

Treasure hunts and exploration adventures turned into frog hunts in the swamp and skipping rocks. Sometimes we’d hike out deep into the woods and spend the day by the lake swimming, watching nature, cloud racing just because we could. All we needed was each other and we were happy.

And then puberty hit us. James’ voice deepened and he grew very hairy. I grew as well in other ways. Things became larger on our bodies and in our lives as we moved up to high school.

High school wasn’t that bad actually more classes, more teachers, more people, more homework, same old story. Yet with all the changes James was always right there next to me in class passing a note to me saying how bored he was.

Technology stepped up and we each got our first cell phones, but why use a digital text message to communicate when the cup phone was still in perfect use? Our conversations grew longer as we gossiped about the prissy girls and pretty boys we knew as “classmates”. Freshman year was packed with knowledge, laughter, and work.

James was working with his parents and sister at their car shop, while I worked with my parents and brother at our flower shop—‘Buds and Roses’ oy vey.

Sophomore year wasn’t that different from freshman year. We did get our permits which soon turned into driver’s licenses but that was about it. I hung out at his place attempting to make cookies which ended in a huge food fight with more dough and flour on us than in the bowl. He hung out at my house and challenged my brother and I to a video game show down. Life was great. Until junior year…when a drunk driver took my mom from me.

James said for that year I was dead to the world. I didn’t want to do anything and neither did my brother nor my dad. James and his family came over almost every day just to talk and get us to feel better. It was nice to know someone cared about us. Though the struggles were many our family made it through.

Senior year was closing in and I had decided to make the most of it. I remember sitting in my window talking into the cup as I told James I wanted to go out for softball.

“Pepper,” he said, “softball is just as dangerous as any sport. It might even be one of the most dangerous sports right up there next to football. Promise me you’ll be careful.”  

“I promise James,” I said.

Between my dad, my brother, James’ sister, and James helping me train I was by far ready for the try outs. By the end of the year I was captain of the softball team, coaching little league, president of the debate team, head of drama club, art club, environmental club, and vice-president of chess club.

James on the other hand was captain of the boys’ varsity soccer team, head of year book committee, head of student council, a member of the drama club, environmental club, and was president of chess club—he had more of a knack for chess than I did.

Prom rolled around and my brother and dad were forcing me to go. James wanted to go and said we could go together so neither of us had to be alone that night. Our dads gave us money; we got in James’ car and headed out to the mall for some shopping. I’ll never forget that day because it was the worst possible day we could pick to go shopping!

The mall was packed it seemed everyone and his brother had decided to go to the mall that day. I couldn’t find the right dress, we were tired of walking, and to top it all off it was Africa hot outside. I was miserable, tired, and frustrated. James suggested we take a break and get our usual hot pretzel and lemonade. Half dead I slumped in my seat and stared into the ice cubes as they melted in my lemonade.

“Hey Pepper Jack,” James said. I look up to see him holding his pretzel to his face looking through the holes like a pair of glasses. “Do these make me look twisted?” He asked with wide eyes.

It was stupid, it was silly, but he was being so goofy that I couldn’t help but laugh. He smiled and winked at me “Too salty right?”

We spent a good hour just sitting at that little table breaking apart our pretzels and forming them into something to make a silly face. Like big ears, a mustache, a beard, a maniacal anything to make the other laugh and be goofy. James had always been able to make me laugh, to make anyone laugh for that matter. No matter what the situation he would find something funny to make you smile.

The day before prom I was talking to James through the cups about the next night. He calmly sat in his window reading War and Peace for a third time. I sat in my window flipping through a mystery book I had read so many times it was falling apart.

“You excited about tomorrow night?” He asked not looking up from his book.

“Not really,” I sighed.

“Why not?”

“What’s so fun about dancing around with people you don’t even like?”

He looked up at me and said very seriously. “Well you like me don’t you?”

“Of course I like you J.P,” I said.

“Then just dance with me,” he said and smiled that same goofy smile.

I laughed and shrugged “Alright but just so you know I have two left feet.”

“Oh I know that I know everything about you Pepper Jack,” he grinned and looked back at his book.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” I laughed

“I know that you are eighteen and still sleep with a ratty old falling apart teddy bear you’ve had since you were four.” He said teasingly.

“Hey!” I laughed, picked up one of my throw pillows, threw it out my window and into his. The pillow hit the book out of his hands. His face contorted to display horror as his book shattered to the floor and closed itself—all I can do is laugh.

“You made me lose my place you pea brained foot licker!” he shouts at me which only makes me laugh harder.

“Imma need that pillow back,” I said whipping the tears from my eyes.

“No way it’s mine now,” he smiled and picked up his book again.

“Come on J.P give it back.”

“Finders keepers’ losers’ weepers,” he grins without looking at me.

“But you didn’t find it.”

“I found it in my room.”

“After I threw it.”

He looks at me, smiles, and says in Cling On, “No give backs foolish female.”

I laugh and say back “I hope that book has a sad ending, one hundred dollars says the girl dies.”

He looks sad, almost hurt, for just a moment before he burst into laughter, “I already know how it ends so there.”

Unable to think of a comeback I childishly stick my tongue out at him, which makes him laugh and return the gesture.

Finally graduation night! I look around the football field for my dad and brother who I spy sitting by the stage ready to take pictures. Andrew sees me taps dad and points to me, dad smiles and waves to me. I smile and sit up straight and proud. James nudges me with his knee.

“Hey Pepper Jack,” he whispers to me.

“What J.P?”

“Congratulations,” he smiles.

“You too,” I say and return the smile.

“Just don’t trip on your way up klutz,” he adds and I shove him slightly.

Because of our high honors all four years James and I received the same scholarship to the same University. The scholarship would pay for three of our four year tuition and we’d have to live on or near the campus. After arguing with my dad for hours I convinced him to let me stay in an apartment I found five minutes from the campus. I really didn’t want to have a roommate and I didn’t care about bills or rent I’d have to pay. Dad said he’d pay for the rent if I took care of clothes, books, and food.

The day came and both James’ family and mine were outside loading up our cars. Andrew helped me move my bags into the car and hounded me with questions. Did I check the gas? Did I change the oil? Did I have my GPS? Did I know where I was going? When I finished his game of twenty questions I got have a second round with dad. Moving my last few things into my car I overheard my dad talking. I crouch down behind my car and listen to my dad.

“I need to ask you a favor,” I hear him say.

“What do you need sir?” James asks

“To be honest I really don’t want my baby girl going off by herself. I want her to get an education of course but I’m not ready for her to be out on her own. In fact between you and me I’m down right scared. The world says she’s old enough to take care of herself and be alone and I’m not saying I don’t think she can do it…it’s just I know my Pepper. She needs at least someone there for her. I know you two probably won’t be together that often anymore with different classes but promise me you’ll watch out for her.”

I’m in shock, never had I ever thought my dad to be afraid about anything—especially not afraid for me.  

“I promise Sir,” James says and I can hear the smile in his voice. “Pepper has always been my friend and I will always be hers.”

“Thank you James I don’t trust anyone with my daughter, expect for you. Knowing you’ll be with her gives me a little peace of mind.”

James and I say our final good byes to our families and to each other. Although we were going to the same place James was going to live on campus and I was not. He followed me for most of the way up, we stopped and had lunch together and reminisced about our childhood. After a couple of red lights I ended up losing him. I was a little sad but I wanted to get to my new home and get settled. I’d call him later see how he was doing.

It was about six in the evening when I had moved everything from my car to my apartment. I was on the fifth floor with a perfect view of the city. Although I was happy to be all moved in and for the first time on my own I was starting to feel homesick. Not to where I’d wanna go back to that little town but just to see my family, James’ family, and my best friend—James.  

I sat at my desk and opened my lap top. I opened my email and wrote a letter to my brother and dad. I told them I was fine all moved in and excited for my classes in two days. I told them I planned to walk around the town before classes, I’d figure out where to shop at and all that good stuff. I sent the letter and leaned back in my chair staring at my screen.

“Now what am I supposed to do?” I ask myself and pace around my apartment. “I’m too tired to go shopping now. I have some food with me, but none that could make a meal for dinner. I’m not hungry, there’s nothing on television. I’m just—bored.” I sigh and I sit on the couch not sure what to do.

Just as I’m about to start pacing again I see something out of the corner of my eye. I look out my patio door to see someone waving in the building next door. Curiously I slide the door open and step outside. There is someone waving to me from the patio in the apartment building next door. It’s all one building but it’s split into two sections to have more rooms. The second building is not that far away from mine but I can’t quite make out who this person is.

“Pepper!” I hear the person shout.

I turn on the patio light and see a familiar face smiling that goofy smile. I laugh and wave back at James.

“What are you doing here?” I shout

“What?”

“I said what are you doing here?”

“I can’t hear—hold on!” he ducks down behind the banister and re-appears a moment later with the cup line in his hands. I laugh and catch the cup as he throws it to me.

“What was that?” he says

“What are you doing here? I thought you were living on campus?”

“Surprise,” he laughs. “You didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily did you Pepper Jack?”

I laugh and roll my eyes, “You mean I’m still stuck with you?” I say with a sarcastic but playful whine.

“Forever and always,” he laughs. “I’m stuck to you like the glue on a stamp.”

I smile and we talk for hours; which leads to us going out together for dinner. The next two days fly by with James around shopping, laughing, taking pictures. We find an arcade with some rides on the inside. Needless to say we spent a good five hours there.

Freshmen year of college is like any other school year of my life. More teachers, more people, more work, and for most of the classes James is there. Not so many notes are passed anymore we talk through facial expressions now—which is easy to do since we are on the six row up from the professor.

I join the softball team and James continues with his soccer team. We spend most of the days that year having study days at each other’s house. But of course with James around it’s not always studying we have bad movie nights, video games, game nights. We don’t always order take out sometimes we try to cook but that ends up in a food fight like always.

Life was good again. Away from home, out of that town, and with my best friend; it was just like old times. But college means growing up and many things come when you grow up.

By the middle of sophomore year I am in a relationship with a football player named Tanner. He’s a big jock, not too bright at times, but is really sweet—most of the time. Soon I see more of Tanner than I do of James. He and I still talk using the cup phone, but we don’t hang out so much.

One night I decide to invite some friends over and have a little hang out, get together sort of thing. Of course I invite James, and Tanner, and some guys and girls from class. We order some pizza and watch a couple movies. At some point in the night Tanner becomes very inappropriate with where he puts his hands on me.

He makes a few crude jokes about me to make most of the guests laugh—but not James. I can see he does not like the garbage dribbling from Tanner’s mouth. Yet he holds his tongue and sips his soda as Tanner continues.

“I’ll go bring us some more drinks,” I smile and pick up the empty soda bottles.

As I walk passed Tanner I hear him scoff, “Yeah get to it little women.” He says and slaps my butt.

I’m in shock that he has done this and I’m not sure how I’m going to react. But I don’t need to James reacts for me.

“That’s enough Tanner,” James says and stand up. “You don’t need to speak to her that way and you don’t need to slap her she’s not an animal.”

“Oh yeah and who are you to tell me how I should and shouldn’t treat my girl?” Tanner says and steps closer to James.

“I am someone you don’t want to mess with,” James says and narrows his eyes at Tanner. “Don’t speak to Pepper that way and do not touch her like that ever again. You get me big boy?” James eyes flash with anger as he speaks with authority over someone who has at least eight inches on him.

“I think it’s time for you to leave,” Tanner snarls and grabs James’ arm.

I snap back to life and step between them. “Tanner that’s not necessary this is my party I decide—”

“Be quiet you,” Tanner snaps at me. “Go get the drinks and make yourself useful.”

For the first time in my life I am afraid. Afraid of Tanner, afraid of what he’ll do to me, but more importantly afraid for James. I catch a glimpse at James for just a moment. He’s staring at me his eyes soft as if telling me it’ll be alright.

James pulls his arm free, “Look you big gorilla you don’t need to man-handle me. I’ll see myself to the door.” James fixes his shirt and looks at me and smiles a little. But this smile disappears as he turns his attention back to Tanner. His jaw tightens and his fists clench. “You listen to me numbskull if I find out you ever hurt Pepper I will make your life a living nightmare. Compendia?”

Tanner growls and James shows himself out. After that James and I only see each other in class and talk after school. I spend more time with Tanner and the more time I spend with him the more inappropriate, mean, crude, bossy, demanding, and rude he becomes. James always asks me if I’m alright and if something’s wrong, but he never really asks about my relationship with Tanner.

The last night of sophomore year Tanner says one of his friends is having a party and that we were going. I didn’t want to go but I had no say. At this time I had already planned to dump him and be done but one more party couldn’t hurt right? Tanner gets a little drunk and rowdy I want to leave but he tells me no. After several jokes, butt slaps, and him being an overall drunk jerk I say I am leaving. He thinks I mean leaving the party but I correct him and say I am leaving him our relationship was done right there and that was it. Needless to say this didn’t go to well.

It’s two in the morning. I’ve been sitting out on the patio for hours waiting for James to get home. It’s not to cool out but I don’t want to go inside. I need to see James, I need my best friend. Finally a light comes on. I lean over the edge and see him walk in the door his arms filled with books he’s got from the library to write his philosophy paper.

I’ve left the patio light on so he can see me. It takes him a minuet of taking his jean jacket off and putting things away to see me sitting out on my patio. He opens his door.

“Pepper?” he asks and his eyes fill with horror as he sees the cuts and bruises I have.

I force a small smile “Hi J.P” my voice trembles as I fight back my tears.

“Pepper what happened?” he demands and his voice cracks. “Who did this to you? Tanner?”

I don’t answer I only drop my head. “Pepper please are you in pain? What happened? Talk to me.” He pleads.

How can I tell him? After being so blind to the monster I was with? How could I tell him what had happened? I begin to shake my head back and forth as the tears fill my eyes.

“Pepper listen to me,” he says firmly. “I know it was Tanner. He’ll come after you so what you need to do is pack your bags and go somewhere safe. Go to one of your friends’ houses, or your aunt’s house she lives up here doesn’t she? Please Pepper go to some place where you feel safe and you’re with someone you trust.”

I look up at him his eyes full of compassion and love. I do as he tells me and pack my bags. He calls 911 to report Tanner. Even though I haven’t said a word of what happen he knows who hurt me. He didn’t need to know why, or what had happened. Knowing it was Tanner was enough for James. I feel like he’s been waiting for an opportunity like this to have Tanner arrested.

I laugh to myself as the elevator drops in numbers. I know exactly where I am going to go. Within moments I’m at James’ door. Hesitatingly I knock and wait for him to answer. A minute later he is standing in the door way looking a little confused.

I smile and wave “Hi J.P,”

“What are you doing?” he asks and sees the bags at my feet.

“You said go somewhere where I feel safe and I’m with someone I trust,” I say timidly fearful of his reaction.

A moment of silence passes between us then he leans against the wall and slides down. He puts his head on his knees with his eyes shut.

This was a dumb idea, I think to myself and smile nervously. He’s not going to let me stay with him am I out of my mind?

Just as I’m about to pick up my bags and run away from this awfully stupid idea—James looks up at me, and he’s smiling that same goofy smile from when we were kids.

“Please come in Pepper Jack,” he says and smiles.

With a sigh of relief I relax and smile as well. I kneel down in front of him and smile.

“Hey J.P?” I say.

“Yes?” He asks.

Without even thinking I lean forward and kiss him. My eyes are shut tight but I can feel his face is in a state of surprise. After a moment I open my eyes and lean back.

“Thank you,” I say with a smile.

He stares at me in what seems to be a state of surprise, confusion, and pleasure. As the embarrassment of what I have just done begins to hit me like a ton of bricks, I also begin to see him smile more and more.

“You know what’s funny Pepper Jack?” He says, “Not three months ago, before you met Tanner, I had just got off the phone with your dad.”

“Why were you talking to my dad?” I ask confused.

His smile grows larger, “I wanted his permission to ask you to marry me.”

I can feel my cheeks turning pink and a smile growing on my face. “No foolin’ J.P?” I ask as tears of joy fill my eyes.

He nods “No foolin’ Pepper Jack. Of course that was before you met that thick headed Tanner. But the question is still on the table.” He smiles, “Patricia Janice Tillers…” he says and every muscle with in my body clenches. “Will you do me the honor of growing old with me and becoming my wife?”

The tears run down my hot cheeks and I fling my arms around James. “Yes!” I scream and hug him close. “Yes! Yes I will! Over and over and over again! Yes!”

He laughs and smiles that goofy smile “Well I only need you to do it once and that’ll be enough for me.”

I laugh and look up to see he is crying as well. “Why didn’t you ask me sooner?”

He smiles and says in Cling On. “I needed the right time to ask the right girl.”

I laugh and kiss him again and again. We spend hours in that hall way holding each other close and talking about getting married as soon as possible. My boy in the window was now my boy by my side till the end of time. The sun is just coming up when we stand up and decide to move things inside.

“I never thought you loved me,” I say as he picks up my bags.

“I never thought I did either, until I met you.” He smiles, “See falling in love is like falling asleep in class. You weren’t supposed to but you did.”

I smile and go to follow him inside to call my dad and tell him the news. But James stops and turns around to me again.

“What is it?” I ask

He smiles “Pepper Jack,” he says and kisses me. “Welcome home.”