#these pink tears are giving such an emotional vibe to it

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: What are your most alluring qualities?

🂺 "Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears." ~ Edgar Allen Poe~

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is meant to help uplift your spirit and highlight qualities about you that transcend space and time and manage to energetically get picked up by lil ol' me. Who then tries to put that inexplicable beauty into words. :)

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

☀︎ Pile One ☀︎ (nine of cups, magician rev., moon rev.,hanged man, page of cups, queen of cups)

⇾ Pink. Yellow. Fuzzy. This feels so warm, there's heat around my waist. Maybe you’re a dancer? Do you like to wear very big pullovers or extra garments around your waist? Corsets? I’m getting a strong emphasis with an attraction toward your waistline. Also, a very airy feeling in my ribs. ⇾ You’re fucking hilarious. Your ability to uplift any room’s vibe is extremely attractive. Strong water energy, Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio, 4th, 8th, 12th house. But not as emotionally heavy. Not the thunderstorm but the sunny, dewy morning after. Literal sunshine. You may have a signature scent. Coconut, vanilla, brown sugar. Before shuffling your cards, my nose was congested but while I was channeling, I had these moments where air would pass through the room, clear my sinuses, and the tingling feeling in my ribs came back. ⇾ You’re a high. A nice clean, mellow high. The brief moments in time when your body completely relaxes and you start flowing with the wind. People are addicted to how you make them feel. Your energy feels like the first hit of that oui. wink wink. People get a hit of your energy and it feels like an escape. This is my intuitive and sensitive dreamy pile. There is a lot of emotional depth here, you’re enigmatic. Being in your presence transports people to a simpler time in their lives. A period where the sun shined brighter, the air was cleaner, and all the color in the world felt more vivid. People can sense the storm raging in the back of your head but can visually see your perseverance and ability to not let darkness rot you, keeping this light and airy energy. It’s almost superhuman, you almost seem not real. You’re impossibly infectious. ⇾ You have a lot of natural inner abundance, you attract a lot in life even if you don’t realize it. I’m getting moksha house energy, a strong wheelhouse of influential power. The duality of your sweet, caring but reserved introspective nature is sexy as fuck, to be honest. It is hypnotizing and ignites people. I also see you have attractive skin, whether it’s clear, glowy, or cute moles, I'm not sure. But something about your skin people just can’t help but want to trace and admire. Jupiter/Pisces energy. Sugary sweet and in your own world, I feel like I have a toothache. Rare kind and light energy. Your attractiveness and romantic influence on people is one of your natural talents pile 1. I can see that with the Jupiterian energy I'm getting. You got 3 major arcana cards back to back. You’re a light in the dark and people are moths to a flame.

"You're pretty like a memory"

☀︎ Pile Two ☀︎ (ace of swords, the tower, knight of swords, 6 of swords rev, the magician, 3 of wands)

⇾ Well for starters, you’re SEXXXYYYY. Not just physically, but your wit, intelligence…people’s attraction to you gives me the image of Joan of Arc’s admirers. People perceive you as gorgeous, brave, and intimidatingly capable. ⇾ I’m getting Uranian energy, Yes, something about you is very mercurial, but this is next level. In modern astrology, Uranus is a higher octave of Mercury and symbolizes putting these higher-level ideas into action. Your ability to think of a goal and go after it is attractive. Or have a belief and fiercely defend it. I don’t know if you’re aware, but you have an innate ability to monetize or profit off of your ideas and skills. Especially with all this sword energy, the 3 of wands, AND the magician. Mane, you make shit HAPPEN. You make shit shake. A lot of people say they’re going to do things they have no intention of starting or say things they don’t actually believe. You are a rare exception to that. You put your money where your mouth is, and the amount of willpower and intelligence you possess is intimidating yet so very very attractive. ⇾ There’s gotta be some major concentration in your natal chart, a stellium, a reoccurring modality, sign, not sure but your energy is uniquely focused and intense. You may sometimes battle with excess mental energy. Anxiety, overthinking, etc. You’re a harbinger of change. Wherever you go, major changes follow and there is something very important about your energy. Your footprint in this world is larger than the average person’s. Your sense of self and your loyalty to your authenticity and values is highly admirable. *whispers* maybe even enviable, watch out for negative intentions and trust your discernment. ⇾ Whether you’re a man or woman watching this, you intimidate a lot of men. You’re the creme of the crop so to speak. You are the human embodiment of a warrior. Strategic, brave, and your fire cannot be dimmed. You have this eternal energy to you. Your name will be sung long after you leave this Earth. There will be tales and songs about you. There is an emphasis on making a change and legacy here, 10th house/ Capricorn Energy. Solar and Jupiterian energy is possible too, there's a lot of king semblance here. I feel like your frame is very attractive. Defined muscles especially around your neck and shoulders. Fox attractiveness. Sharp features, or some special emphasis with your lips, jaw, and teeth.  There is a lot of sexual attraction in this pile. I was shuffling and getting flashes of old Wattpad enemies to lovers and dark academia rivalry fanfiction 😭😭. I’m getting a headrush. Maybe you feel like a headrush to people at times.  You might look good in darker, cool-tone colors or have dark hair. ⇾ You make people aware of their shortcomings and that triggers them. You trigger strong emotions in people. People see you as superior to many, you’re either singled out in a crowd positively or negatively. People either love or hate you but it is undeniable that you are sexy and very fucking capable. You also have the ace of wands at the bottom of the deck…like I said…sexy and capable.

"Don't look at me with those eyes"

☀︎ Pile Three ☀︎ (The tower, queen of swords, three of pentacles, queen of wands, 9 of wands)

⇾ This is my dark feminine pile. 🎶Sheee’sssss a maaaann eeeaaatttttttuuuhhhhhhhh🎶, Ironically, the black cat got chosen for this pile. The tower paired with the two queen cards screams shadowy feminine to me, but balanced. The three of pentacles create a bridge between your intense fire and air energy. You balance your shadowy, detached and your fiery, passionate nature and it creates this intoxicating dichotomy that people can not get enough of. ⇾ You also are reserved and guarded, people can tell it is hard to gain your trust and gain access to your inner world so people subconsciously try hard to earn your favor. When I was laying out your cards my eyes got heavy and I felt like I needed to go to bed. You have a very sultry sluggishness to you. Think about Corpse Bride, how her eyes were always low, she moved slowly, and her voice was low. You have a dark veil over your character that is very alluring. There may be an 8th house or Mars emphasis in your natal chart. Make sure to check your planetary midpoints. ⇾ I am getting a Gabriette Betchel vibe. There's a darkness around the eyes of the man standing in the nine of wands. There is a draw to the shape of your eyes, especially if they droop a little or you have sunken eyes. Maybe you like dark makeup if you’re into makeup. This pile definitely had a crush on Morticia Adams growing up. You ARE Morticia Adams. Pretty Rave Girl is playing in my head, I don’t associate your energy with the rave aesthetic but I get the sense that people fantasize about you. You’re naturally mysterious and detached and most people only have an idea of you rather than a one-on-one connection. You may face a lot of projections, there’s fog around people’s perception of you. Plutonian-type power, insanely magnetic, with Neputinian-type glamour, veiled and shapeshifting. There may be some WLW baddies in this collective. ⇾ I feel like a very small number of people truly know you, you are reserved and selective with your energy and let me tell you, that is the most attractive practice a human being can implement. You are a once-in-a-lifetime personality that people dream about embodying. YOU ARE AN AESTHETIC. Well not exactly, I’m not limiting you down to your appearance. But you are the ideal embodiment of the dark feminine, man-eater aesthetic. The other three piles felt like concepts that I tried to piece together to paint a picture, your pile feels like a tried and true timeless dark sexiness that we've seen in cinema and music videos throughout the years. There is range here though, I’m feeling anywhere between Morticia Adams to Effy from Skins. The allure of Hollywood’s bombshells mixed with the angst and self-guardedness of America’s outcasted teen icons. I’m seeing an emerald snake, if you’re into sidereal astrology you may have ashlesha placements. I could write an entire essay about the fucking bullshit you've endured and THRIVED FROM but this is already getting a lil lengthy lol. Just know that you are living testament to the saying “I get knocked down ten times but get up eleven.” Stay sexy pookie.

"You got your HP Lovecraft... your Edgar Allan Poe"

☀︎ Pile Four ☀︎ (high priestess, two of swords, 4 of pentacles, the empress, knight of pentacles, 10 of cups)

⇾ UHHHH THE DRAAMMAAA. Bae, the high priestess FLEW out. You’re angelic. No mf backtalk. I don’t know about the stereotypical angel, but something about your presence is otherworldly. So intense but hard to conceptualize, can’t classify your energy as anything less than angelic. People see you as something holy and righteous. A theme of fairness and divinity is strong here. I’m seeing the virgin (Virgo, purity) and a gavel (libra, balance and fairness.) Your energy is always in a state of balance and harmony. Temperance did not come out, but I’d bet my top dollar that it would have if I kept pulling. ⇾ I’m hearing a steady water stream and the flaps of bird wings. People come to you for peace and tranquility. Your aura is serene and healing. Being near you is like transporting to a haven with clean water, a sustainable garden, fresh air, and BUNNIES. An image of a ton of white bunnies just came to me. This is not an 18+ reading, so I won’t go into detail but bunnies represent fertility and high sexual energy. You have an abundance of creativity. The best representation of people’s attraction to you I can put into words is like seeing raw energy. There’s this movie that came out in 2017 called Annihilation and there’s a scene where the main character comes into contact with pure energy and is so entranced by it that she just stares at it head empty, blankly in complete awe. THAT is how people see you. Like c’mon high priestess, the empress, 10 of cups, don’t ever fucking question yourself. You have an undeniably divine aura. ⇾ You’re a big deal, you're energy is very enlightening and calm but there is a heavy weight to it. Everything you do in life makes an impression and holds weight. Your thoughts matter, your conversation changes lives, and your very presence makes an imprint on people’s souls. Virgo 6th house, libra 7th house, Scorpio 8th house, Pisces 12th house. ⇾ You also have a very stable, Earthy nature to you with the 4 of pentacles and the Empress. To me, this is pure wealth. You will see a lot of luxury in your lifetime. You are a giver, you have a lot to offer the world. You are the epitome of “fill my own cup and let it overflow to those around me.” You share your abundance and prosperity follows you. You have the divine understanding that life is all about balance and what you give, you receive tenfold. ⇾ People think you look really good in white. Blonde hair could be a good look on you. Any aesthetic that involves purity or innocence really suits you. Personally, I’d say you look fucking killer in red hair. ⇾ With the ten of cups, I’m getting major wish-fulfillment vibes. When suitors see you they hear an angelic chime in their ear (I hear it right now) and music starts playing. DREAM GIRL. By the strictest definition too, you’re very dreamy and your allure is cloudy, people are afraid if they touch you, you’ll float away. You could have prominent Neptune placements. Do you like to sing? Harmoney and melodic sounds keep popping up. I'm thinking of Euterpe, the muse of music. ⇾ Your abundance leaks into your appearance (look for aspects to your ascendant, especially Neptune, Jupiter, and the Sun), you look very youthful and hydrated. It’s going to sound creepy but from a biological, primal-lizard brain perspective, you look fruitful and like you'd bear many blessings and children. Your skin is well hydrated and plump, your hair is strong and luscious, and you look overall very healthy.

"Be Not Afraid."

ahhh that was so much fun! to those who resonated with a pile, thank you for giving me the pleasure of experiencing your energy and reading for you. if you liked it let me know :)

[ghostlyfleur]

𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞’𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

eddie munson x shy!oc

contents: anxiety, curse words, friends to lovers. lovesick!eddie, inexperienced!reader, self-consciousness, first kiss, sharing clothes. eddie’s jacket is oversized on reader. can be read as x reader, but a bit oc too? carnival date.

word count: ~1.5k

eddie munson is in love.

she is entirely inexperienced in anything romantic or sexual; no first kiss, never even got close to it. extremely shy and anxious, has a seemingly innocent aura, is a bit out of sorts, ditzy, with a sort of luna lovegood vibe. doesn’t argue with people, always tears up if confronted about anything, doesn’t have beef with anyone and is a lot more rational than emotional even though she tears up so easily. also doesn’t hold grudges or care what people think of her…

the thing is, she has been introverted her whole life, a very anxious person, and so doesn’t understand that eddie munson likes her because she needs to be told how people feel about her very explicitly otherwise her mind will convince her they hate her. anxiety is like that. and she’s the kind of person that has a hard time realizing that people can perceive their existence and have feelings for them, no matter what type of feelings, so even though eddie is not at all shy about flirting with her and giving her all of the attention in the world in his over-the-top, overdramatic way, he also knows that if anything other than the friendship he’s thankfully managed to build with her is going to happen, romantic-wise, that she has to be the one to initiate it— but she’s oblivious!

on the other hand though, she doesn’t even bother hiding her infatuation with eddie — it’s a lot more than infatuation by now. she’s always looking at him with stars in her eyes and laughs at his jokes and smiles that big, square, goofy smile whenever they lock eyes and constantly praises him because he deserves to feel as special as he is, right? and she goes into detailed talks about lord of the rings with him, likes many of the same bands he does or simply lets him play his favorites for her, and she truly loves to watch hellfire play dungeons & dragons.

her eds even made her a special edition pink hellfire shirt. ‘cause he’s a simp.

one day, as she’s out with chrissy and heather outside a diner, talking and laughing and catching up, eddie is close by somewhere with friends. his van is parked nearby.

it starts getting chilly, and eddie’s girl starts shivering, so she quickly excused herself away from the girls, “gimme a second!” and reaches through the open window of eddie’s van, making a mental note to grill him about it later — “‘cause it isn’t safe, eds!” — to grab his leather jacket thinking of how he has told her over and over that she can borrow it, that “what’s mine is yours, sweets. i don’t mind sharing if it’s with you”, so she figures it’s okay, right? and goes back to the girls who are fucking smirking like they see something she doesn’t.

it’s about fifteen minutes later, and eddie is walking towards the trio, simply because he misses his girl and wants a hug, when he sees it.

she’s wearing his jacket. his jacket.

in typical eddie fashion, he makes a scene— gasping dramatically, he clutches his chest over his heart and falls to his knees, because fuck what anyone around thinks. his precious girl is wearing his fucking jacket! and she looks like a fucking angel.

“eds, what are you doin’?”

“do you know how heavenly you look in my jacket? i just had to get on my knees to worship you.”

the boy shuffles closer to his sweet girl on his knees still while he talks and she’s flustered, okay? she’s shy and her face is on fire and she’s covering her cheeks and giggling. and because it’s eddie, her eddie, she’s not running away to have a panic attack. ‘cause it’s eddie and he’s being sweet, so she can’t focus on anyone else long enough to feel crippling anxiety or embarrassment. doesn’t even care that chrissy is cooing and heather is smirking.

“that jacket is yours now, you own it. you pretty much own me by now.” eddie says, on his knees, in front of her

“it’s okay that i took it right?” she makes sure even after his display of joy, ‘cause anxiety isn’t rational “you said i—”

her eddie knows her, though. he stands up, gets real fucking close to her, so close they’re almost touching, with this look of absolute adoration and “i’d give ya everything i have if i could, pretty.”

fast forward a few days later. chrissy kept yapping on and on to the oblivious girl about how “in love” eddie is, but it’s as though her brain won’t let her even entertain the idea.

that’s until she’s having a semi-regular quote unquote friend-date with eddie, something they’ve done quite a few times before, and this time they go to the fair. they’re doing everything couples might do, eddie is very aware of this, and he’s over the moon to just be enjoying quality time with his pretty girl until she spots a photobooth, “oh, eds! we have to!” and eddie’s desperately counting coins to pay. the pictures go a little something like this:

after coming up blank with pose ideas, they just look at each other and laugh, but at the sound of his free and bright laugh, she just stares at her boy like he’s a dream come true— first pic is taken, looking at eddie like he hung the moon while he’s mid-laugh.

eddie notices her staring and goes from loud laughs to breathless ones, a smile on his lips, and whispers a soft “what?”— second picture is taken as the girl quickly presses her lips to his, her very first kiss, and it’s caught on camera.

the third picture depicts eddie’s sweet girl nervously rambling “i was going to ask for permission first, i promise!” while eddie has a glassy, dreamy look on his face, slack jawed, looking at her lips.

and at the fourth snap? eddie presses forward to shut her up with another impossibly soft and tender kiss, both of their eyes are closed and his hand is holding her jaw, thumb brushing her cheek.

after they part from the second kiss, eddie acknowledges that it was her first kiss, a shy “was that okay?” to which his sweetheart just smiles really big and nods excitedly over and over with a breathless giggle. that was the perfect first and second kiss and she couldn’t ask for more.

they hold hands the rest of the night.

[seeingivy]

lover

satoru gojo x f!reader

you've loved him three summers, now you want them all

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

content: FLUFF. good old sweet wedding vibes, you being an idiot, satoru being a bigger one and making dirty jokes constantly, and just being the best lovers in general

an: I named nanami's wife daisy after my sweet @daisynik7 who I always subconsciously associate with nanami now. please make sure to check out her work + support her bc she's the sweetest person to ever person!

--

Nanami Kento is made for loving. And you only realize it now, minutes away from his beautiful bride walking down the aisle, that he always has been. 

“Y/N!” 

You’re thrown out of your thoughts to see your lover looking at you just past Nanami’s shoulder, hands erratically shaking in the air as he beckons for you to walk over. You give him a smile, handing your bouquet to Shoko, before you walk over. 

Satoru’s quick to lace his hand around your waist, a soft kiss being pressed to your temple, as you look at Megumi and Yuuji in front of you two, horribly failing to put their boutonnieres on. 

“Hi boys. Satoru.” you state, leaning into Satoru’s touch. He’s rubbing small circles into your back as he smiles down at you, the soft aura of warmth in the air present in his constant touches. 

“Hi Y/N. We-this shit is so hard.” Yuuji states, exasperated as he fumbles with the pins in his hands. 

Megumi holds the pins and the flowers up into the air, his nimble hands twisting both in his fingers. 

“You’d think this type of stuff is self-explanatory, but it’s starting to feel more like rocket science.” Megumi grumbles. 

You fight the urge to laugh as the two of them grow more frustrated with the premise, trying their best to avoid having Nanami come over and put them on himself. 

“Okay, how about you both hand me those before one of you stabs each other with the pins?” 

You hold your hands out, softly fixing the flowers to Yuuji’s coat jacket, and then Megumi’s, before you pull back and admire both of them in full. Yuuji’s pink hair has been brushed down to perfection and Megumi’s wearing that expensive cologne that Satoru bought him for his birthday last year - the two of them the picture perfect groomsmen. Fitting perfectly in, with that soft love that’s blooming in the room. 

You reach forward, cupping the sides of both of their cheeks, as you fight the emotions, that overwhelming, sickly sweet feeling that’s overflowing when you look at them. 

“You both look very handsome.” you murmur, rubbing your thumbs on the softness of both of their cheeks as you watch the pink flush rise on both of their necks. 

“Thank you, Y/N.” Megumi murmurs, while Yuuji all but wraps his arms around you. 

The two of them shuffle away - more like Megumi being dragged by the wrist to go talk to Nanami with Yuuji - leaving you and Satoru standing slightly to the left of the altar. You turn to him, your hands instinctively reaching for his suit, fixing the little flowers pinned to his chest and his pink tie. He brings his hands up, crushing yours in his own, and stopping you in pursuit. 

“Y/N.” he states, the tone in his voice teasing. 

“What?” 

“You’re already losing your bet, sweetheart. I saw those tears in your eyes when you were looking at Megumi and Yuuji.” 

A stupid bet the two of you had made, since Satoru’s so convinced that you won’t even last five minutes when the ceremony starts. You roll your eyes, lightly shoving him, before you turn around to look at them. 

Satoru’s quick to pull you flesh against his chest, his chin resting on your shoulder as you both watch. His soft breaths are enough to tickle your exposed skin, his warmth enveloping yours. Megumi and Yuuji are smiling brightly, laughing with Nanami right at the center of the altar. 

They’re made for love too. Overflowing with it even. 

“They’re sweet boys, Satoru. I-I’ve seen them in so many compromising situations. Cradling each other’s bloodied bodies, blank faces when they thought they lost each other, they-” 

The wave of emotion is back in full flesh, this time tinged with the harshest bit of regret. At the three of them, so animated, when you’ve never seen them like this before. That they don’t get to be like this all the time. That when tomorrow comes, the only difference will be that Nanami will put his life on the line, but this time with a silver band encased around his finger. 

A harsher loss if she ever has to lose him. 

“Shh. I know, sweetheart. It’s-” 

“I’m happy for them. For Kento. It’s nice to be in a room like this, being suffocated by the warmth of love.” 

“I think that’s actually just me putting my entire body weight on you.”

You scoff, turning around as you place your hands flat on his chest. He’s pulling you closer to him, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek as you jokingly protest. 

“Satoru.” 

“You love it. Though, if you’re interested in me putting my weight on you in other ways, if you know what I mean, we can-” 

“You dog. That didn’t even make any sense. And we’re at a wedding.” you scorn. 

“Well, it obviously made sense if you’re scolding me for it.” 

“Shut up, you’re so-” 

There’s a soft clinking of the bell, indicating that they’re about to start the reception, that Nanami’s soon to be wife is about to stroll down the aisle any second. You turn back, giving Satoru a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek, before you stroll back to the other side. 

And relish in the fact that Satoru has the marks of love on his face, that Yuuji and Megumi seem to glance at each other every time the officiant makes a comment about true love, and that Nanami Kento is about to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves most. 

You lose the bet at the two minute mark. When Nanami erupts into a fit of his own smiley tears, when he takes his hand in hers for the first time. At getting to spend forever, with his Daisy in the meadow.  

--

The question, later on, catches you off guard.

“Whose that?” 

You turn your head, to where Amelia - one of Nanami’s childhood best friends - is pointing, the look on her face filled with curiosity. 

“Who are you talking about, Amy?” 

“Him. The tall one, with the white hair and blue eyes.” 

You swallow hard, biting the side of your cheek, as you smile. 

“Satoru. Satoru Gojo. He was one of Nanami’s groomsmen.” 

“Is he single?” 

Your suspicions, the ones you’ve held from the combined bachelor and bachelorette party, are confirmed. That Amelia, like many others met you before, wants him. 

It’s not the first time it’s happened. Satoru, naturally, has a gravitating sense to him. It’s in the way he stands, the way he smiles and talks that he can’t help but catch people’s attention. And you can’t even blame him for it, because it’s the thing that drew you to him in the first place. That magnetic force about him. 

Like you’ve manifested him solely by thinking about him, he’s suddenly right at your side, his hand sliding around your shoulder. 

“I saved you a seat at the table. I’ll just be in the bathroom, okay?” 

“Okay, love. Sure.” you respond, watching the embarrassed flush spread across Amelia’s cheeks. You give her a warm smile, so as to curb her feelings, as Satoru leans closer to whisper into your ear. 

“Blink twice if you’re going to meet me in there.” 

You roll your eyes, before clenching them tightly shut and giving him his answer. 

“You’re no fun, Y/N L/N.” he groans, pressing a kiss to your cheek before running off to the other side. 

You turn back to Amelia, as she all but starts word vomiting. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything and I didn’t even know that you two were-” 

“That’s okay, Amy. How could you have known?” 

She somewhat deflates, cheeks still bright pink, as she mumbles. 

“I really am sorry. I just figured since he wasn’t wearing a ring or anything, you know?” 

“Of course. I’m really not mad, please don’t feel embarrassed.” 

The two of you link your arms together, as you start strolling towards the table. You take a second to admire the soft fabric of the dresses you’re wearing, at the matching little bracelets secured around your wrists. 

“How long have you been dating?” 

“It’s been three years.” you state, your affection for him glowing in your chest. 

“Are you guys engaged?” 

And you’re not sure why, but every fiber in your being is begging you to say yes. 

“No.” 

“Well, sometime soon. God knows, that’ll be you up there sometime soon.” she states, lightly squeezing your hands before she splits and walks towards her own table. 

You turn your head towards the door, to find Satoru excitedly wrapping his arms around Ijichi, that you realize it. 

That Nanami Kento is made up of love. That Megumi and Yuuji and Shoko and Nobara and everyone around you always has been. 

That most of all, Satoru Gojo was made for loving. And it’s your deepest, sincerest wish that he’s made for loving you. 

For the rest of your life. 

--

Almost six hours later, and deep into the night, you and Satoru are both lugging an extreme amount of weight to your front door. 

It turns out that Megumi Fushiguro and Yuuji Itadori can not hold their drink for the life of them. Which means that you and Satoru have to drag the two of them home, so they don’t do something embarrassing or commit an accidental murder on the way home. 

“Stand there. I’ll come get him in a second.” 

Megumi leans a majority of his weight on you, the sweet wine smell hanging on his breath as you watch Satoru lead Yuuji to the living room.

“Satoru. I told you that you forgot to turn the Christmas lights off.” you groan, only now noticing the little golden lights twinkling in the dark of your apartment. 

“Chrr-istmas? It’s Jann-uary.” Megumi slurs, slightly shifting on his weight. 

Satoru’s quick to catch him before he stumbles, signaling for you to let him go, as you head to the kitchen. 

“Well, this is our place, Megumi. If you were so morally opposed to our decorations, maybe you should have stayed sober enough to go home.” Satoru adds, both Megumi and Yuuji dazed off on your couch. 

You set the two glasses of water and Baby Aspirins on the table, ruffling their hair, before you shuffle into your shared bedroom with Satoru following. You’re both quick to help each other, you unpinning Satoru’s boutonniere while he attends to taking off your heels, before you both stumble into the bathroom together. 

“Satoru.” 

“Hm, sweet?” 

“Do you remember Amy? Amelia?” you ask. 

He pauses for a second, rolling over the thought, before he leans against the counter and turns to you. He’s holding your toothbrush in his hand, already set with the paste, before reaching for his own. 

“No. Who’s that?” 

“She’s one of Nanami’s friends. You met her at the bachelor/bachelorette party.” 

“What’s she look like?” 

“Short, long red hair and a lot of freckles?” 

“Hm. Doesn’t ring a bell. Why do you ask?” 

“Oh. She just thought you were cute. Was asking me if you were single.” 

There’s a wide smirk spreading across his face, as he wraps his arms around your waist and makes the motions to tickle you. 

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re too cute! Are you jealous?” 

“No.” you grumble, cheeks turning hot at the premise. 

“Yes, you are.” 

“How could I be jealous? Are you forgetting what we did in the bathroom?” 

“Aw, you’re so possessive, princess. It’s so sweet.” he adds, pressing a light kiss to your shoulder, as he makes the moves to start removing your makeup. 

Satoru’s love language is acts of service, down to his bones. Meaning that any small task you could do for yourself - like taking your shoes off, making your breakfast - it was something that Satoru always beat you to doing. 

But his favorite? Taking off your makeup, massaging your little serums into your skin, and pressing a kiss to the top of your head before the two of you go to bed. 

“You’re the only one for me, silly girl.” 

“I know that. I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you.” 

“Oh?” he asks, fully laughing as you shove him. 

“Well, she did say another thing. That got me thinking.” 

He sets down the little bottle of wipes, securing his hands around your waist as he lifts you to sit on the counter. He stands in the little space between your legs, squeezing the sides of your waist as he patiently waits for you to talk. 

“Well, she asked me if we were engaged? And I was just kind of thinking about….why we weren’t.” 

“Oh.” 

Satoru’s face is devoid of any emotion, as you make your best efforts to backtrack. 

“I-I’m not saying that as an insult to you! I just mean that….maybe I realized that I want to be with you forever. And I’ve always known that, but I really want it. Right now. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the day after, but I know that if something did happen, I’d hate to know we never got to cross that.” 

You lock your fingers in with his, rubbing your fingers into his calloused skin as the admission, so vulnerable it makes your chest hollow out. 

“You just mean the world to me, Satoru. I want everyone to know it, from the little metal band that goes right here.” you murmur, lifting his hand to your lips and pressing a kiss right into the little divot of his ring finger. 

It’s at this moment that Satoru Gojo doesn’t know what to do. And he fully curses that bitch Amelia, who he can’t even fucking remember mind you, for putting this stupid thought into your head. 

For throwing a wrench into his plans.

Because in earnest, Satoru Gojo would be crazy not to marry you. Not when he loves you so much, when you fill every empty part of him so tenderly with love that he can’t even remember the pain of that loss at all. 

So much so, that he’s been planning out the perfect proposal for months. Just for you, here and now, to suggest it to him in your shitty bathroom. 

“You don’t have to say anything, Satoru. I know marriage is a big thing to think about. We can talk about it another day.” 

He watches you smile at him, so genuine and kind, before you press a kiss and pad out the room to change out of your dress. And the entire moment makes his heart sting. 

That you think for a second that he has to consider whether or not he wants to marry you. That it doesn’t even hurt you, that you’re willing to wait for when he’s ready. That you think he isn’t dying to call you yours, to wear a ring proudly on his finger and tell any living, breathing soul that you’re his. 

--

The following morning, he recounts the situation to a very hungover Megumi and Yuuji. And the two of them are half there, which adds up to one fully functional brain, in Satoru’s eyes. 

“Shit. So what did you say?” Megumi asks. 

“Nothing? I’ve been planning out this stupid proposal for weeks, I couldn’t just do it then and there!” 

“You said nothing? She probably feels like shit right now.” Megumi adds, rather unhelpfully. 

“Do you have a ring?” Yuuji asks. 

Satoru fishes around in his pocket for that light green, velvety box before handing it to Yuuji. He doesn’t miss the way their eyes go wide, the soft smiles on their face, as they admire the ring. 

One Satoru took six months to pick out and then had to end up custom designing. So that it could be perfect for you. 

“I’m so happy for you, Gojo-sensei. You’re made for each other.” Yuuji adds, excitedly smiling at him as Satoru takes the box back. 

He admires the little glimmering gem, warmth pooling in his own chest, as he tucks it safely back into his pocket when you trudge out of the bedroom. You’re half asleep still - one of Satoru’s favorite sights - as you groan and reach for the warm cup of coffee that Satoru had already prepared for you. 

“Morning. How are your heads?” 

“Pounding.” Megumi groans, bringing his fingers up to his temples as Yuuji slides him a glass of water. 

“We’ll make breakfast, yeah?” 

You and Satoru move to make the two of them eggs, giving each other soft smiles as you hear the two of them murmur behind your back. 

“Hey, Satoru?” 

“Yes, princess?” 

“About last night…” 

Satoru freezes up, giving Megumi and Yuuji a look, as they both all but end their conversation and immediately start eavesdropping. 

“I’m sorry for what I said. I-I wasn’t trying to pressure you into something.” 

“You didn’t-” 

“I did. I guess I just felt weird when Amy brought it up and all, especially since we were at the wedding. But we don’t have anything to prove to anyone and you know, marriage is a social construct anyways, so…” 

Satoru can tell very quickly that you’re trying to backtrack from the tone in your voice. That it’s so dejected, that you can’t even force yourself to say the words like you mean them. 

"What we have, right now, means the world to me. Your heart has been borrowed and mine's been pretty much blue ever since I was able to know what that meant, but it hasn't been for so long. And that's really all that matters to me, Satoru. Really. That we get to stay together, like this."

And that stupid feeling in him twinges again. That you want nothing more to be together, to be married, but you’d put it aside to keep him in your life if you had to. That you’re more than willing to do anything for him, that you think he won’t move mountains to give you anything you want. 

Especially this thing. This thing that he’s wanted since the moment he met you.

You neatly plate the eggs onto the dishes, before sliding them in front of Megumi and Yuuji and giving them bright smiles. 

“I’m going to go get ready for work. I’ll see you guys later, yeah?” 

“I love you.” Satoru adds, rather urgently. 

And when you soften, give him your tender smile, Satoru knows that he has to do this sooner than later. In fact, when you arrive home from work. 

“I love you too, Satoru.”

--

You arrive home, particularly sore and bloodied, to find Satoru waiting for you in the kitchen. A horrible habit of his, coupled with his insomnia, means that he always waits up for you, when you’re out on a mission. 

Satoru’s quick to move towards you, the metallic smell of blood in the air, as he reaches forwards, his anxious hands running across your skin and feeling for any cuts and bruises. 

“Y/N.” he murmurs, nearly pleading as his eyes go wide. 

“I saw Shoko before I got here. It’s all minor, I’m just a little sore.” 

Satoru’s hands are all but trembling as he wraps his hands around your face, trying his best to ignore that metallic taste of blood on your lips and focus more on the sweet, vanilla taste of your chapstick. He’s breathing hard as he rests his forehead against yours and you absentmindedly bring your hands up to his chest. 

“Hi Satoru.” you whisper. 

“Hi Y/N.” 

“I’m okay.” 

“I know you are. It just never gets easier seeing you like this. You getting a paper cut is basically the end of the world for me.” 

You giggle, earning a soft smile from him, as he tilts your face slightly up. You press a kiss to the palm of his hand, before deflating directly into his arms and wrapping yourself in his embrace. It’s only then that you notice the lit candles on the dinner table and the smallest bouquet of pink flowers. 

“What’s the occasion?” 

“You. You and me specifically.” 

You look up, giving him a confused look. And then he’s holding a little green box in his hand, flicking it open and turning it towards you. 

You immediately feel the tears well in your eyes, the shining engagement ring glimmering in the box. 

“Satoru.” you whisper. 

“You kill me, you know that?” 

You swallow hard, looking at his blue eyes as he pulls you closer to him, his hands secure around your waist. 

“You really think I don’t want to marry you? I’ve been waiting for the fucking day since I met you, sweetheart.” 

“Huh?” 

“I’ve been trying to plan it out. For months. For basically the past year. And-and it’s so hard when I want every second of it to be perfect. To be a testament to us and-” 

You bring your hand up, the tears freely flowing from your eyes, as you rub your thumbs into the softness of his skin. 

“You’re so ridiculous. Anything would have been perfect. It’s you.” 

The softness in his tone, your words, are enough to bring the tears to Satoru’s eyes, as he quickly whips out his phone and hands you it. It’s open on a photo album, filled with pictures of you and Satoru. Specifically, Satoru holding up the little ring box with you in the peripheral, unbeknownst to you.

“Satoru.” 

“I’ve been taking pictures of you. And the ring for like the past six months. It’s been under your nose the entire time.” 

“Oh my god. You’re so fucking stupid, Gojo.” you respond, laughing as you shove him. 

He’s leaning against you, your temples pressed together as you look at all the pictures. At his glittering smile, in each and every one of them. 

“I hope you know that I’ll always want to be with you, married or not. After everything that's happened, after everything we've been through...I…I just want to be where you are. I want to go where you go and I…I want us to be this close forever.” he murmurs. 

He takes the ring box back from your hands, carefully plucking the little ring from the plush, before holding it out in front of you. 

“Will you marry me?”

Satoru Gojo is a lover. And you only realize it now, when it’s pouring out of him, in that sweet smile and that honey sweet tone, that he’s always been made for loving you. And you, for him. 

“Of course, I will.” 

He slides the little band onto your finger, quickly lifting your hand to press a kiss to it, before wrapping his arms around you. And pressing his plush lips against yours, warm and soft and so deeply fulfilling that it makes every bone in your body ache. 

He pulls back, resting his forehead against yours, as he laughs. 

“Can we consummate our engagement?” 

“That’s not a thing, dumbass.” you deadpan. 

“I’ll make it a thing.” he responds, all but dragging you by the wrist into the room with him. 

--

the satoru as taylor swift songs series masterlist

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[violetsiren90]

What the Moon Saw

Pairing: Yoongi x f!Reader

Genre: One-shot; non-idol AU; friends to lovers; young love; summer nights, angst/fluff/smut

Summary: Having been with each other through thick and thin, you and your childhood friend, Yoongi, realize that nobody knows how to say goodbye.

Listen to: "Nobody Knows" by The Lumineers

Drabbles: Stolen Tides; Beacons Ashore; The Lighthouse Keeper

Content Warnings: 18+ (minors dni); allusions to domestic abuse; divorce of parents; cigarette smoking; infidelity (not between main couple); kissing; hickeys; making out; hand jobs; oral sex (female receiving); loss of virginity (female); moments of body insecurity; unprotected sex; cumming inside; cockwarming; characters are ADULTS at the time of their sexual encounter; LOTS of emotions

Author's note: I moved. Like, a block away from the beach, and the views and the vibes have me ALL up in my feels. I wrote this in two nights and then sat on it. I wasn't sure if I was going to post it or just keep it in my heart because parts of it are so personal to me. BUT, here it is. I want to give inspiration credit to @orchidyoonkook , because I will never ever be able to write young love or Yoongi without being influenced by the beauty that is Under the Willow Tree. 💕 If anyone chooses to read this little love story of mine, I hope it brings you something wholesome!

If no one has told you yet today, you are loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

    You inhaled deeply, taking the salty air into your lungs as you gazed out over the cliff side and across the rippling blue that stretched on and on until it met the soft pink glow of the horizon. Your eyes tracked the tide lapping at the smooth sands. You slipped off your heels to meet the cool pavement, but you could feel it already - the soft golden grains molding to meet your steps. These shores hadn't borne your footprints in over a decade, but here you were, drawn back again by the hypnotic crash of the sea and the lonely call of the gulls. It felt as though you had never left. You leaned over the railing of the rickety staircase that wove its way down the cliff side into the sand and scree. Your gaze trailed down the steps, one by one, until you saw it, jutting out halfway down: the lip of a ledge in the rock face. Your breath caught in your chest. Old, familiar feelings of a time gone by washed over you. The years rolled back like clouds from the sun in the western sky.

You were nineteen.

You shivered, drawing your knees up and hugging them to you as sat on the thick woolen blanket you had laid over the cool stone of the ledge. Even on a summer night like this, you should have worn something more practical. But you had worn your cotton sundress with the cherries. He had once told you that you looked like the main character in that dress, and it had been your favorite ever since.

You watched the moon dance on the dark water and thought about all it had seen. It had been watching the little alcove from the beginning. It had seen you the summer after your first year of middle school, wrapped in a blanket with book between your hands, as you took refuge from the emotional turmoil that shook your house nearly every night leading up to your parents' divorce. It had seen the boy one night, wandering the beach with a cigarette and busted lip, trying to smoke away the tears in his eyes. It had seen the boy climb the stairs, only to discover his favorite hiding place was already harboring another runaway. It had seen you look at him - skinny limbs in a jacket and ripped jeans not lanky on his small frame, tussled dark hair, round face, little bleeding pouted lips, dark sharp eyes wide with surprise - and consider that he was likely the most beautiful thing you had ever laid eyes on. It had seen him offer you a cigarette which you refused. It had seen him ask you for a light, which you didn't have. And then it had seen you become friends. Best friends. It had watched you become all that the other truly had in the small, beautiful, painful world of a child. And now it would watch him amble up the beach one last time to find you there.

Yoongi. He had been so upset when you told him that you were leaving for college, but he had tried his best not to show it. He was always like that, keeping things deep inside. You had to wait and watch and listen and coax them out. You could always find the right time to do it, when he felt safe to let you. Most nights, though, it was you pouring out every little thing in your heart. Yoongi loved it when you did that. He would listen with the softest little smile and warm eyes, creasing in the corners, as he watched your hands move with as much animation as your voice when you spoke. His nearly-silent breathy laugh would come like a breeze off the sea and waft around you, lifting your spirits and cleansing your soul. His rare, full smile spreading in breathtaking beauty over his face, pulling his upper lip away from his gums. There were the good times, and the bad ones. On hard nights you would hold each other in silence, letting the beat of the other's heart and the steady undulation of the tide carry you through to the dawn.

You remembered the first time you had awakened in his arms after such a night. The light had just started to stream over the tops of the cliffs, painting the water in rose gold. You had shivered, feeling the dampness of the cool salty air in your hair. And then you had looked up and seen him there, holding you, still fast asleep. His face was angelic, little pink lips just parted, chest rising and falling with the swell of his breath, and you swore you could endure anything life threw at you if the first thing you saw each day were his dark lashes resting gently on the apples of his cheeks. Yoongi had finally stirred and blinked down at you, just gazing silently - the little warm smile in his eyes rather than on his lips. In that moment, something had changed. In the weeks that followed, you thought you had never felt so many things at once.

You felt giddy. You felt a little sick. You felt like you could fly.

You were in love.

You were in love and you had very nearly worked up the courage to do something about it when you saw it - that horrid little purple bruise right below his ear. You had asked him if his father had done it and he had been confused at first. But when you brushed your fingers so softly over the mark, his eyes had widened and he had recoiled, pulling up the collar of his jacket to obscure it from your view. He had insisted that he was fine and not to worry. But worry you did, all the way up to the day you realized what the little bruise really was. Then your worry morphed into something different. You felt sick again, but this time it felt like a burden. You had chided yourself for being so stupid. He was beautiful and sixteen, of course he was involved with girls - girls that weren't you. Your heart broke. You pieced it back together with the succor of his friendship, and, soon, you started seeing other boys too. But you never let them give you purple bruises. You didn't want them from their lips. 

As the seasons went by, you remained tethered to one another. Regardless of friends or suitors who would come and go, you knew each other in a way that no one else could. A way that didn't require words. Laughter bubbled up without effort or restraint. Fights ended in tears and forehead kisses and never lasted more than a few moments. Never past parting. Until one day a few weeks ago when he had told you that a boy you were going with was seeing another girl. Yoongi had never liked your boyfriend, and so you had reacted badly, gotten defensive and let yourself be angry with him for telling you. You had snapped at him to mind his own business. When he had insisted that you were his business you had said no you weren't, not in that way. He had gone quiet. So quiet. And then he had left. And he hadn't come the next night. Or the night after that.

You were so angry and anxious, and you told yourself you wouldn't wait for him another night, so you stayed home for the rest of the week. Then, on the third night away, you had tucked yourself into bed only to imagine Yoongi waiting for you, alone in the darkness. You had whipped off your covers and gone to find him in your pajamas. When he had seen you he had jumped up, throwing his cigarette aside, and crushed you in his arms. He had hugged you from the other side of the railing, not even waiting for you to climb over, then lifted you to stand before him on the ledge where he had enveloped you in his arms again. You had tried to apologize, but he wouldn't let you. And then you told him what you had been dreading to tell him all summer: you were leaving. He hadn't reacted. He had just held you in silence. But there was something different in him now, something that had his eyes trained immovably on the horizon. Something that wouldn't let him look at you. Something that distracted him from all you had to say as his thumbs brushed softly over your arms. He had looked at you so strangely before you had parted that night.

Now you were meeting one last time before you would watch the little coastal town and all its hurts disappear in your rearview mirror. You needed a second chance and this scholarship might be your only shot. Your reverie broke as you noticed a figure shuffling down the waterline in the bright light of the waxing gibbous. The figure sprung nimbly, with practiced steps, up the stairs, and lightly vaulted the rail, landing with a soft thud, catlike, a few feet from where you sat. He stepped forward, standing over you as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. He was wearing tight khakis, white tennis shoes, and a plain white tee under his green military jacket. With a smoke tucked behind his ear and that little smirk on his lips, you thought he might be cooler than Steve McQueen.

"Got a light?" he asked coolly, shoving the pack of Marlboros back in his pocket. You rolled your eyes.

"Of course not, Yoongi. And why on earth do you always ask me that when you've got one anyway?"

Yoongi smiled to himself as he brought a lighter to the little yellow-tipped cylinder between his lips. It was a secret kind of smile, the kind that made you want to snatch the cigarette from between his teeth. But tonight wasn't for fighting, even the bickering kind. He eased himself down beside you with his signature careful grace. You sat in silence, gaze trained out over the water. While you were looking elsewhere, he relaxed, and you tracked his movements in your peripheral vision. You would do this sometimes, especially when he was particularly guarded. He had always been bad at eye contact, but if you gave him a little space he would let down his walls, and you could read him like a book. Just now, he had let his gaze settle on you. Smoke hissed through his lips, his mouth hanging open just a little in that way it did when he was lost to his thoughts. His eyes roved over you in a way that made you mouth go dry. You swallowed. He suddenly shifted his gaze, coughing a bit.

"I like this dress," he offered, like an apology.

"I know," you murmured with a smile.

"Yeah?" he questioned, brow furrowing, as he took another drag. He was quiet for a beat before pressing out another question. "Paul headed out east too?"

"I broke up with him," came your answer, but without a smile this time.

  "Yeah?"

    "Oh come on, Yoongi," you bit out, "You knew that was going to happen. That's why you told me!"

His jaw ticked ever so slightly.

    "You know that's not true. He was cheating on you. I couldn't let you be in the dark about it - get hurt by another one of these assholes who don't deserve your time in the first place."

You sighed, frustration rising unbidden again as Yoongi casually hurtled the unspoken walls you had erected to make things easier.

    "What I deserve is my business. I don't go chastising you for letting random bitches suck on your neck and god knows what else so that you don't feel lonely."

The remark had been soft but laced with venom, and you had regretted breaching your own resolve against negativity the moment the words had spilled from your lips.

    "Random..." He stared at you intently, surprise and confusion mingling with another indiscernible expression in his eyes as they traced over your features. You were trying to think of a way, any way, to salvage the conversation when he huffed out a laugh.

    "You did know what it was!"

    "What?"

    "That hickey you asked about sophomore year."

Your stomach flipped.

    "How do you even remember that?" You blustered in incredulity.

    "How do you?"

    He was staring at you knowingly with those achingly beautiful dark eyes that always saw you. It was one of the things you loved most about him. But right now it was terrifying. Right now you wanted to escape, only, there was nowhere to go. So for a moment, just a moment, you didn't hide anymore.

    "Because," you swallowed, trailing your eyes back up to his, your voice shaking a bit as you whispered, "I remember everything."

A beat. Two. You didn't make a disarming jest, or a hurried qualification. You didn't even blink. In a flash as quick and heavy as a summer storm, years of yearning filled your eyes like intangible tears, holding his face in your gaze before casting it back out over the sea. Yoongi had froze where he sat, eyes trained immovably on you before he suddenly stood, tossing his cigarette and cursing as he took a step toward the edge, weaving his fingers through his hair.

"What?" you asked, almost defensively.

He didn't turn around, but you could hear the emotion in his voice, his head bowed as he wrestled with the words.

    "Nah, that's not fair. You're leaving...You're leaving and you're gonna make it even...even harder right now?"

Turns out you weren't the only one who had been building walls with invisible bricks. You jumped to your feet.

    "Oh, so this is my fault? You've been telling me my whole life to get out! You convinced me to apply to the Ivy Leagues! You spent the last weeks pushing me away! I don't understand what you want from me, Yoongi!"

He turned toward you, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth, eyes on the ground.

    "A clean break," he said lowly, "Not from you...for you. I just wanted you to run, no guilt no pain, and not look back."

You felt a lump rise in your throat as you shook your head.

    "That's not how it works though. I was always going to look back. Whenever I was frightened or lost or uncertain. Whenever I woke up in the morning or closed my eyes to sleep, or laughed, or...or felt so much joy I didn't know what to do with it. I was always going to look back, Yoongi," You took a deep breath, "I was going to look for you."

Hot tears slipped down your cheeks as you grabbed his arm and pressed your wet face into his shoulder. You could feel his body shake with little sobs.

    "Don't," he croaked out, "don't look for me."

    "Sorry," you huffed a tearful laugh into the fabric of his sleeve, "I don't think my heart will listen to you. Pretty rough deal when it's yours after all."

You had tried to say it like a joke. It had come out like a promise.

    Yoongi stilled. Everything stilled. For a moment, it was as if even the sea and the sky and the moon held their breath. He let his hands fall from where they covered his face. As he lifted his head and turned, you dropped his arm, thinking for one horrible moment that he meant to push you away. But he didn't. He reached for you, and gently, firmly - like every move he ever made, like every word he ever spoke - slipped his hand around the nape of your neck and pressed his mouth against yours.

    You gasped softly against his lips.

    Sweet, methodical, insistent. He slipped his tongue against your bottom lip and you tilted your head to slot your mouth against his, deepening the kiss as his tongue brushed languorously against your own. He tasted like mint and cigarettes and him. You could do this all day. A little dagger pierced your heart at the thought that you only had tonight. You stumbled back, tugging him down beside you onto the blanket. You pushed him to his back and slipped onto his lap, leaning down to reconnect your lips with his. He chuckled into your mouth, his cheeks still wet with tears. 

    "Slow down," he hummed.

    "No," you murmured in simple defiance, kissing along his jaw before dipping to press your mouth to the soft flesh of his neck.

You licked softly, experimentally, along the side of his throat, and his fingers tightened against your waist. He tasted like salty skin and the alcohol of that cheap musky cologne he wore and Yoongi. You leaned back, supporting yourself with hands on either side of his head as you looked down at him.

    "Can I?" you asked with a shy smile

    "Hm?" he hummed, large, lithe hands massaging your waist.

    "Leave a mark?"

His eyes squeezed into little crescent moons, and his mouth pulled up into a full smile he couldn't repress. He chuckled again, reaching up to brush his palm over your cheek, and nodded, tilting his head to the side to expose the creamy skin of his neck. Your heart hammered in your chest as you leaned down and placed an open-mouthed kiss to his throat before sucking until you had pulled a low, deep groan from him. You pushed up again, surprised at the sound, new and lovely, to find him flushed - his blown pupils darkening his eyes, and a little wet patch of smooth skin growing rosy against his throat. You felt a thrill rush through you, making you tremble. You leaned down and marked him again and again, pulling sweet moans from his lips until his neck and collarbones were littered with the proof of your mouth. You lifted your face to kiss him again, but after pressing his lips to yours twice, he pulled back.

"One more," he whispered, taking your hand from his face and guiding it down to the slight firm swell of the top of his left pec.

His eyes played over your face as you felt it softly against your fingertips - his heart. In a valiant fight for your composure, you pressed your eyes shut and buried your face in his chest. He ran a hand over the back of your head soothingly. You raised your face to meet his gaze again, choking out a little sob at the depth of its gentle affection. You slipped your fingers to the collar of his cotton tee and stretched it down and to the side, revealing his bare chest. With reverence you pressed your mouth to his skin, fulfilling his request.     

No sooner had you raised your eyes to his again than he was pulling you against his lips and rolling you to your back. His weight sank into you as your mouths moved together and you thought, maybe, under his warmth was the only place you ever wanted to be. Your body responded to him seemingly of its own accord, your legs weaving around the backs of his thighs as a thrumming ache intensified at your core. As he moved to kiss your neck you found your hips rolling up, seeking relief for the sticky ache at their center, and you were met with a firm knot in his groin that pressed just where you were neediest. Your high-pitched whine was a sharp contrast to his low growl into your shoulder. It was intoxicating - his sensation, his sound, and you undulated against him over and over to slake your want on his growing hardness and hear his breath come quick against your ear. He began to rock against you in return, and soon you were whimpering into his neck, beads of sweat cooling on your forehead against the night air as each rut of his hips became overwhelming and not enough.

    "Yoongi, please," you begged in a breathy moan, lightly squeezing the back of his neck and turning your damp forehead against his soft cheek.

He pushed up to look at you, brushing away the little hairs clinging to your brow. He looked as needy as you, but a little uncertain.

    "What is it?" he asked. You knew he knew. You leaned up and kissed him chastely before letting your head fall back against the blanket.

    "I want you," you murmured, suddenly barely able to look at him as the words formed on your lips.

Yoongi dipped to press another kiss to your mouth before sitting up and back on your thighs, and gently tugging you up with him. You noticed the bulge straining against the front of his khakis, and he winced slightly as he wiggled to adjust against your legs. He took your hands in his, that little smile tugging at the corners of his pink lips, tongue darting out lick at them as he considered you thoughtfully. Impatient, you pushed his jacket off his shoulder, which he fully shed and cast aside, and ran your hands over his cotton-clad chest. His muscle jumped when you grazed down over his stomach, which you thought must be as soft and lovely as the rest of him.

  "Are you sure you want this to happen right now, with me?" he asked tenderly. You looked up at him, your brow pinched in question. "Your first time?"

    You scoffed, your face heating as you looked away, brushing bits of sand from the blanket.

    "How do you know if it's my first time?"

His little smile spread into a grin.

    "Because I know," he offered, a bit smugly.

You toyed with the hem of his shirt.

    "I'm sure," you murmured. And then you looked up at him. "Have you ever..."

    "Yeah," he responded, almost like he was sorry, as he glanced down and took your hands in his again. He bit the bottom corner of his lip. "I don't have a condom."

You felt your heart pounding as the concept of him taking you where you sat became increasingly real.

    "So pull out," you offered nonchalantly, hoping you sounded far more experienced than he knew you were.

He nodded. You snaked a hand between you to dance your fingers over the strain against the crotch of his pants. His hand flew to encircle your wrist and still your movements. He took a deep breath.

    "It might hurt you at first. Maybe the whole time," he said, his thumb brushing in a pendulum motion over your arm. You nodded.

    "I know. I don't care."

He smiled again, regarding you for a long moment. 

    "Okay," he said, nodding and licking his lips before taking your jaw delicately between the rounded pads of his fingers. "But you have to promise me one thing."

    "Hm?"

    "You still have to leave in the morning."

You heaved a sigh. Oh, Yoongi. You thought you might cry again, so you nodded, pulling him down over you once more.

    "Promise me," he murmured against your lips.

    "I promise," you breathed.

    You kissed slowly, greedily, learning each other's mouths and mapping each other's faces and necks. At some point he dipped below your collarbone to drag his lips along the tops of your breasts. Your hand flew into his hair and he looked up at you, dark eyes seeking permission. You nodded, bottom lip clamped between your teeth as he tugged down the stretchy bodice of your sundress to reveal a simple beige bra that clasped in the front.

    "It's not sexy," you remarked apologetically.

He shook his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes, and dipped to kiss the tops of your breasts as his fingers found the clasp.

    "Shhh, it's just the wrapping," he whispered as he snapped the garment open, letting your breasts fall into view as they pushed aside the fabric cups that had confined them.

He cursed under his breath as he brought both hands to your tits and kneaded them gently, sliding your pert nipples in the spaces between his fingers. You mewled, arching your back to press your chest up into his grasp. Before you could truly revel in the feeling of his hands plying your supple flesh, they were gone, but your whine of protest was cut short by a sharp keen as his mouth replaced his fingers. He suckled and nipped at one bud and then the other, and each time he released one with a pop, you were certain you had been rendered temporarily unconscious. Soon he was sitting up and smirking down at the panting, writhing mess of you beneath him. You saw him grimace again as he adjusted his stance, and you reached for his zipper, only to find your hand caught in his.

    "No yet," he chided lightly, a twinkle in his eye, "I have to make you cum."

You drew your arm back and cast it over the top of your face, suddenly shy at his remark.

    "To get you ready for me," he explained again in a murmur as he pushed your dress up to your rib cage.

He traced his hands lightly over your naked waist and you shivered. He moved to his knees, pushing your legs to either side of him. He hooked his fingers into the top of your pink cotton panties, when you suddenly felt yourself sitting up, your dress falling back over your midriff. You were a sight - wild hair and your tits half out, still panting for breath while worry painted your features. Yoongi pulled his hands away and sat back, confusion in his widened eyes. 

    "I don't shave," you rushed out, "I know some girls do, but I've never tried. And...I don't know, I'm kind of a mess down there right now..."

Yoongi's face softened and he leaned forward to press his forehead to yours.

  "I don't care," he whispered. You huffed out another sigh.

    "But...but what if you...don't like it?"

    "I know I will."

    "How?"

He bumped your nose with his, swallowing again as his hand found yours.

"Because I love you."

He only let the words hang in the air for a millisecond before he was crashing his lips into yours again, passionately, as if it was the only way he could convey his conviction.

He loved you. You could have died. But he was pressing one of the kisses you would always remember into your lips like an oath, so you didn't. And then you let him bare your skin and lay you down and tell you that you were beautiful. You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes when you felt your heart believe him. How were you to leave in the morning when his soft, warm words felt like the sun?

    He ran his hands over your sides and thighs, dipping to trail slow, deliberate kisses down from your navel until his chin brushed the soft, curly hairs of your mound. Your breath caught in your chest as the cool air hit fresh slick dampening your sex. He leaned back again, regarding you with warm eyes, and took your hand in his, placing it over your lower lips.

"Do you touch yourself?"

    You stammered. He had asked you as simply as if he were inquiring about your favorite flavor of ice cream. With effort you admitted that you did. He stroked over your hand.

"Show me how. What makes you feel good."

You nodded slowly, feeling yourself tremble a little as you moved to stroke your middle finger in beckoning motions over your swollen clit. The motion that should have been almost automatic and familiar felt new and lewd under his gaze. As you dipped to gather more arousal from your entrance you watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat and his hands tighten where they gripped your thighs.

    "You're soaked," he murmured as he stooped to press a kiss to your belly. Then he did something that would be seared into your brain for all eternity: he scooped up your hand and brought it to his lips, sucking your sticky middle finger into his mouth. You gushed at the sensation of his lips and tongue, wide eyes locked on his as he slowly let your finger slip free.

    "You want to know how you taste?" He asked, not waiting for an answer before humming, "So fucking good."

    "Yeah?" you asked breathlessly, propped up on your forearms to watch as he laid down between your legs.

  "Mhm. Sweet. Like honey."

He kissed into your pubic hair, slipping one of his long fingers to trace over your clit the way you had showed him. You gasped as you watched him work you up, something inside your growing taut like a bowstring. And then a kind of pleasure you had never imagined, the kind that made you want to melt and scream, rushed through your trembling body as a single finger pressed slowly past your entrance while his mouth found your clit. You found your hips bucking to meet his thrusts as he pressed in a second finger. You felt a slight sting at the stretch, but the exquisite pressure of this knobby knuckles caressing your walls overwhelmed any pain, and when he pressed the pads of his fingers to massage a spongy patch of muscle, you cried out, gripping his dark locks. 

    "Yoongi!" you moaned as he repeated the motion, and when he took your clit between his lips to suck you came.

You came hard and in waves, rolling your hips into him until you were clamping your thighs shut at the raw sensitivity of overstimulation. Yoongi sat up to rub his hands over your shaking thighs and heaving belly before leaning back down to kiss you and return your spirit through his lips from the astral plane.

    "You did so good," he cooed, "Came so easy for me."

    "That's good?" you asked between pants. He chuckled into your neck.

    "Mhm."

    "It felt good, Yoongi, really good." He dropped a kiss to your shoulder, and then mumbled into your skin.

    "You still want to go all the way?"

    "Yes," you whispered, pulling his shirt up his back and running your hands over his bare skin.

Yoongi sat up and pulled the shirt over his head, tossing it to lay with his jacket. He was slender and milky, as you had expected, but his shoulders were surprisingly broad, and his upper chest firm. The soft swell of his belly was dusted with a trail of delicate dark hairs leading down from his navel. You reached instinctively for the button of his pants, and this time he let you. Trailing the zipper down, he helped you shed his tight pants and boxers, sighing in relief as he freed his erection. You bit your lip as your hand trailed over the velvety skin of his shaft. Even this part of him was beautiful, you thought - not overly long but thick and proud with a pretty vein and a smooth tip glistening with precum. You had been so consumed with drinking him in that you only now noticed the little needy whimpers falling from his lips as you stroked him. You squeezed a little firmer, pumping him with more confidence.

    "Like that?" you asked, unable to look away from the sweet sight of his face as his eyebrows knitted and his head tilted back.

"Yeah, just...no, no, I won't last," he groaned, his hand stilling yours.

When he met your concerned gaze he reached up to stroke your cheek.

"Feels too good," he murmured reassuringly, then he guided you back down on the blanket, balling up his jacket and slipping it under your head.

He lowered himself carefully over you, skin to skin, as he kissed you again and again, his right hand toying with your breast and trailing lower to caress your clit. You could feel the heat rising in you again, and an aching want inside growing deeper and hungrier with every shock of pleasure. When he trailed his fingers through your folds to find you thoroughly wet he leaned to the side, gliding his length between your lips, his smooth tip brushing over your bud. You cursed, fingers digging into his back and he huffed a little laugh, eyes sparkling down at you.

    "Dirty girl," he chuckled, before kissing the tip of your nose. "Are you ready?"

You felt a squeeze of trepidation in your chest, but you pushed it away.

    "Yes," you assured him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

For a long moment, he just stared down at you, the same look in his eyes as the morning you had first awakened in his arms, but so intent - as if he was trying to commit every feature of your face, in this moment, to memory. Finally breaking his gaze, he glanced down between your bodies, aligning himself with your entrance. His eyes flicked back up to you as he slowly, slowly breached your core. When he had pressed in past his tip you felt the searing stretch he had warned you of. You closed your eyes, drawing in a sharp breath.

"You okay?" came is worried voice, "Want to stop?" You shook your head.

"No, just do it," you panted through the pain, "I want it to be you."

You pulled him down to press your mouth to his. Every kiss between you seemed to say something. This one said that you trusted him in a way you would never trust another.

He was so gentle. Pressing in slowly, giving you time to stretch around the thickness of him, kissing you sweetly through your whimpers, until he was fully sheathed inside you. Tears filled your eyes and trickled down your cheeks. You were so full of him.

    "Why are you crying?" he cooed, touching his forehead to yours.

Your hands clutched his back as you raised watery eyes to his.

"Because I'm yours, Yoongi. Yours first and no one else's." He buried his face in your neck.

"Take me, Yoongi," you whispered desperately into his ear, "Take me like I'm yours."

You felt him let out a tiny sob against your skin and then he started to move. He kept a slow pace at first, carefully gliding against your tight walls, unaccustomed to his presence. You could feel him jerk and twitch as he moved, and thought he must be restraining himself. You found the worst of your pain had passed, and all you wanted in the world was to make him cum.

    "Don't hold back," you hummed as you rolled your hips to meet his thrusts.

He didn't need you to tell him twice, instantly setting a quicker, sharper pace that had his balls slapping your ass and his pelvic bone pressing to your clit with each forward snap.

    "You're so fucking tight," he mumbled, a dazed look beginning to overtake his features, "You feel so good, baby. So good." You wove your hands into his hair, pulling him down to kiss him as you breathed in every curse, whimper, and moan. And then he was looking down at you with dark, wild eyes.

    "I'm gonna cum, sweetheart, where do you want me to cum?"

You didn't have to think.

    "Inside," you answered breathlessly.

    "But I'm not..."

  "Please, cum inside me, Yoongi. Please," you whimpered, tempted to wrap your legs around his waist - your desire for him transcending every fear of consequence. But you wanted to give him the choice.

He raised himself up on his elbows, his thrusts coming impossibly harder and more erratic, and then he came. You watched him in exaltation as he threw his head back and cried out, emptying himself inside you. So beautiful, you thought, with his hair clinging to his brow, his chest heaving and flushed, and his face drawn in the throes of his release. You did wrap your legs around him then, and he collapsed, his head falling to your breasts as he gasped for breath. You tangled your fingers into his hair, caressing his head. You were swollen and sore and messy, and yet the thought of him abandoning you was unbearable. And the moon saw it all.

It saw you stay each other's as long as possible. It watched you both try to hide your tears as you pulled on your clothes. It watched you fight desperately, and fail, to put your heart in words. It watched him silence you, and hold you, because you didn't have to say it. He knew. It watched you fall asleep in his arms one last time.

You opened your eyes. The gulls were crying and the pale morning sunlight was spilling over the tops of the cliffs. The sea was soft and plashing and cerulean. It was the most beautiful of the ninety-three mornings of summer. But you didn't notice - all you saw were dark lashes on the apples of soft cheeks. You watched his breath rise and fall as the sun tipped over the horizon in the east, the dew trickling down your face as salty as the sea.

When Yoongi's eyes fluttered open they met your red ones, and he pressed is forehead to yours only for a moment before pulling you up to stand.

"Get outta here," he whispered shakily, hands still clutching your arms and brow still tilted into your own.

"Come with me," you choked tracing your hands over his chest.

"I can't leave her with him."

"I know." Your fingers traced over his heart and the little bruise you knew rested under the cotton fabric.

Yoongi wept.

"Go," he whispered, squeezing your arms. You nodded weakly.

"Go, goddamn it, go!" he cried, as you shook with sobs, then he crushed his mouth against yours.

Time didn't stop, you'd have any - so you stole every second you could.

And then you kept your promise.

You shivered as a zephyr sprang off the water to whip around you, disrupting your thoughts. You tugged at your blazer. It had been a long time since you wore a sundress with cherries.

It was time to let them go, the little girl huddled in a blanket and the boy with the bleeding lip. They had held your hands for so long. They deserved to be free. It was time to let them go, so you did.

With a deep sigh you cast one last wistful glance back over the great blue expanse as the sun sank into the sea.

The moon was just a silver slip in the sky that night, but it saw. It saw before you did, as you turned to go, the breath catching in your chest when a low, soft voice behind you asked,

"Got a light?"

-Fin-

[nanaminsmoon]

𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝.

A/N: i started this last night because i was listening to this song before i went to sleep:))

mdni. nsfw.

cw; oral (fem receiving), just cute domestic vibes.

wc: 1306

on those days where you need peace of mind, best believe ony will help you get it. you'd shuffle around first thing in the morning, to find your bed empty. but before you can call for your boyfriend, your weary body would fall back into deep slumber. the next time you woke up, it'd be to your boyfriend beside you. black durag tied around his head as he sat leaning against the headboard, fingers mindlessly scrolled through his phone. he'd notice your waking form, and his soft hand would stroke your cheek.

“you awake?”, he would ask you softly, and you'd respond with a sleepy hum.

as soon as you got up to go brush your teeth, he'd open the curtains and windows and light some incense in your room—cleansing out all the negative energy. when you came out of the bathroom, you'd see him making the bed and your favourite tea sat on the nightstand.

“where would i be without you, baby?”, you would pout, a hand to your chest as you walked over to your man to give him a kiss. you'd almost forget all your worries when your hands brushed against his toned abdomen. almost. but once everything flooded back, a wince would selfishly contort your features, and you'd pull back from him. ony would understand that it isn't him, he could see it in your face. and he had heard it fall from your lips last night when you cried to him about it. tears slipping onto his bare chest as you told him everything that was on your mind. last night, he had held you and whispered words of comfort onto your soft brown skin.

and now, he was washing your hair and massaging your scalp as ‘piece of mind’ by lauryn hill played in the background. a hand at the top of your forehead to ensure the shampoo didn’t get in your eyes. his trimmed fingertips moving in gentle circles all over your scalp as he hummed to the music playing. you wouldn’t have to move a muscle because, once he was done, he’d get a towel and wrap it around your head. then he’d carry you, bridal style, around the bathroom. you’d act as his arms, reaching for all your products, brushes, and combs. your final destination would be the living room.

“you're good, baby, i got you”, he spoke above you, as you sat in between his legs—cushion underneath you, as you watched whatever show you had picked to put on the tv. there’d be times where he'd randomly tell you to face up, then he'd place an amorous kiss atop your forehead.

he'd apply all your oils and leave in conditioners and even put your hair in twists for you. even putting on your pink bonnet for you once he was done. and his services were always delivered with a kiss on your lips. but this one was longer; not an ounce of lust was present, he just wanted to love on you. ony cared about you more than he did himself. whenever you had bad days, he just did what you needed of him. he didn't rush you—as much as he hated seeing you unlike your usual, smiley, self. no longer asking him dumb questions like ‘would you love me if i was a worm?’ or ‘who you saving first if we're drowning, me or connie?’ (you are the answer every single time). he missed your laugh, and the way you'd roll your eyes at him slapping your ass, even though you loved it. he even missed the way you’d ask to slap his ‘as payback’. but he couldn't rush you. he let you sit in whatever you were feeling and was the steady hand you reached for on your way up.

you'd soon find out that he had disappeared this morning to make you your favourite breakfast, and you ate it fighting back tears. an outpour caused by an overload of emotions from both the situation you were facing, and the love ony was feeding you. literally.

“you can let it all out, ma”, you were sat on the sofa, and he pulled the tray of food onto the coffee table, before pulling you onto his lap. your head tucked into the crook of his neck.

“holding it isn't gonna help you. let it all go, i'm here, you'll be okay.”, and that was all you needed for the flood gates to be knocked down and for you to just bawl onto his bare chest. again.

ony would comfort you, and put you back in bed when the emotions hurled you into another deep slumber. when you woke up, he'd be showered and changed into a white tank top and grey shorts, his signature gold chains around his neck. he hadn't noticed you walking into the kitchen, too busy making your lunch. until he felt arms wrap around his torso.

“why you got a shirt on?”, you'd pout, your words muffled as your cheeks pressed against his back.

“’d it make you feel better if i took it off?”, he chuckled, and you nodded furiously. so he did. he moved your arms, reached behind him, and pulled it over his head. placing it on the kitchen island once it was off. his torso wouldn't be bare for long before you covered it in shimmery, glossed kisses.

he would notice how you're looking at him during lunch, but he'd pay it no mind. he didn't like having sex when you weren't feeling like yourself—it didn't feel right. but when you would beg him that way you always did, affirming it would lift your mood, he would carry you to your shared bedroom. you would be lightly placed on the bed before your panties were slid off, and his hands were wrapped around your thighs, his tongue slowly travelling between your folds. your wetness would gloss his lower face, and the soft incantations you let out would bring a smile to his face. although he needed you more then anything, for now, he would just have to stick to rubbing himself through his shorts.

that man would draw three orgasms from you using only his mouth and fingers. then, as he gave you your post-nut cuddles, an alarm would ring in his head. telling him that he had yet to make you dinner. you’d suggest ordering some food, but he’d decline. on days like these, he wanted to make you something himself. he wanted to feed you something infused with his love for you. something homemade he knew was good for you, not something he said would make you feel ’sluggish’. you’d accompany him in the kitchen and, at first, he’d refuse your offers to help.

”this is for you, baby. all you should have to do is eat”, he’d tell you, pressing another kiss to your temple. but you’d press on, saying that it made you feel useful. so he’d accept; it’s your day, whatever you want, you’ll get. just like any other day.

food made, and eaten, the rest of the evening would consist of ony doing whatever it takes for you to feel better. movies, long conversations, music, dancing to slow songs in the living room with your sunset lamp creating the perfect mood lighting. if it made you smile, it made ony smile too. his friends would call him extra, but he just loves you. and knowing you feel extra loved when you're at your lowest gives him some peace of mind.

© Rights owned by nanaminsmooninc. Do not repost without permission.

[honeyhotteoks]

this night together - chapter five (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter five: not so easy to ignore

chapter summary: things at the studio turn out just about as bad as expected, but wooyoung takes you under his wing and introduces you to some new friends.

warnings: references to a/b/o dynamics such as heat and knotting and designations, alcohol/drinking, angst, sad vibes, but also good vibes?, reference to work place sexual harassment but not like you think

notes: thank you all so much for your kind feedback on this fic. i'm having an absolute blast writing it, and i'm so thankful for all the people giving it a try even tho this genre isn't their thing! that means a lot. this is the last chapter i have written in full, so chapter six may take a little extra time. i'm about to hit a few insane weeks of work, so i'll do my best but please be patient with me. there's a lot more chapters to come though, i promise.....

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 6.9K

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3

As it turns out, you can’t just go back to being friends. When you wake in the morning you still feel sick, and your first thought is to wonder if Yunho does too. Maybe Mingi feels the same, but was better at hiding it. Maybe you’ll get to the studio and they’ll take you in their arms like a movie and kiss the breath out of you and hold you close and tell you they should have never, ever driven you home. But you doubt it. 

You’ve been in love before, and you’ve had crushes before that. You’re no stranger to getting tangled up in emotional webs, it’s just usually not with people you work with and it’s usually so much easier to walk away. Or run, as you’re used to doing. This body, this designation, this biology, it makes everything always feel so confusing and artificial. Do you want them or does your omega? Do you need them or is it just the after effects of heat? 

It’s a lot easier when you lie to yourself. 

You’ve been dealing with this biology all your life. That’s all this is, and after a little time and a little distance, your body will catch up to your mind and stop feeling this way about them. 

You take those aching feelings and lock them away tightly and then you get up. You shower, you take a deep breath, and then you buy yourself the fanciest coffee you can think of despite the absolute lack of funds in your checking account. This momentary serotonin will be worth the overdraft fee if that’s where it puts you, you need this. 

By the time you get to the studio, you’re pretty confident that you’re over them, convincing yourself that it was just fun, good sex. Great sex, even, but still just sex. 

But the minute you see Mingi every stitch of the resolve you knit for yourself unravels, and he looks surprised to see you even though it was part of the plan that you’d return today. He leaves the room before you can even open your mouth and try to say something innocuous and you know right then and there you were right all along. It was never going to be that simple. 

Yunho blushes when he sees you, his ears turning a dark shade of pink and for a second he trips over his words addressing the wider group. 

Mingi avoids your touch when you cross his path at lunch, offering you just a quick hello and then he’s gone again. 

Instead of searching for their eyes, you start to get really comfortable with the wood grain of the floor and do your best just to focus on yourself. You’re working on something new, and a week ago you would have stayed late to fine tune your understanding of the choreography with Mingi while he waited on Yunho to wrap up in the back office, but you know those days are gone. 

When practice ends they disappear, and you’re left to pack up by yourself. You give it a few minutes, thinking maybe when the rest of the crew trickles out maybe they’ll come to you, but they don’t. So much for being adults about this. You blink back hazy tears as you pull on your jacket, focused on packing up as fast as you can now just to get the hell out of this room. 

You don’t even hear him coming up behind you. 

“Come on,” Wooyoung says with a roll of his eyes, “we’re going for drinks.”

“I really should get home,” You glance over at him as you finish packing up your bag. 

“I’m buying,” Wooyoung counters, “so you really have no excuse.” 

What you really want is to go home and bury yourself under the covers for the foreseeable future. Every awkward second glance with Yunho was making you want to curl into a ball and every moment Mingi spent pretending he barely knew you made you want to go home and cry. An entire day filled with almost sentences and troublesome glances and all you can tell yourself is that you knew it, you were right all along. 

You don’t answer Wooyoung, and instead you just can’t help yourself, you look behind you towards the back office, but neither of the men you want to see are there. 

“Are you really so afraid of making friends you’re turning down free drinks?” Wooyoung prods your side, “That’s really fucking lame of you,” 

“Wooyoung,” You sigh, your head dropping back. 

“It’s fine,” He says, his voice lilting up in a sing-song, “I thought you were cool,” 

Your jaw tightens. 

“And I’m not usually wrong,” He goes on, “but it’s fine, I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong, and you, y/n, are lame.” 

“Fine!” You snap up and meet his eyes, “Fine, I’ll come, but just one drink.” 

“Excellent,” He smiles, and you’re starting to get the sense that Wooyoung doesn’t really take no for an answer ever. 

“One drink,” You repeat. 

“Yeah,” He shrugs off, “come on, get your stuff, we’re meeting San at 1987.” 

“Where?” 

“Bar,” He brushes off your question without really answering, “let’s go,” 

Wooyoung turns on his heel without a second thought, and he’s off. You have to jog to keep up with him to get out of the building, and he’s mostly quiet until you hit the evening street outside. He slows to a casual pace and turns his head to you when he says, “You like San, right?” 

The question catches you off guard, “Of course,”

Wooyoung smiles, “He’s definitely all business at work, most of the time, but don’t worry.” 

“Why would I worry?” Your brow furrows, every interaction you’ve had with San so far has been perfectly pleasant, albeit professional.

“I just mean he’s fun,” Wooyoung corrects himself, “he’s just really serious about the work,” 

“You’re all kind of like that,” You point out, “mostly,” 

“Right,” Wooyoung nods, winding his way through an alley and you divert off the main street to follow him as he leads you through the back way to their regular spot. 

“He takes training really seriously,” You offer, “but I think that’s good. We could all hurt ourselves if we weren’t following his plans,” 

Wooyoung grins, “Oh, he’s going to like the sound of that.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm,” Wooyoung lays a hand softly between your shoulder blades to direct you through a small crowd, “follow that up with how handsome he is and you’ll get special treatment forever.” 

You laugh sharply, “Noted.” 

He points ahead, “Just up there,” 

At the far end of the alley is a hanging neon sign, the ‘7’ in ‘1987’ flickering intermittently. It’s not as flashy as some of the other bars or restaurants along the street you’re walking, but that looks to be part of the charm. As you make your way up to the door and inside, Wooyoung is quick to greet a few people on the sidewalk, throw a wave to the bartender, and he throws around names and details to you faster than you can pick up on them. 

San waits at a table in the far corner, two light, wheat beers already waiting on the table. When he glances up from his phone and sees you both his eyes widen but he smiles pleasantly. 

“Hey!” He smiles, standing and pulling a chair out for you, “I didn’t realize you were coming, I would have ordered you something,” 

“I’m not crashing plans, am I? Woo didn’t say,” You glance between them. 

“Not at all,” San shakes his head, gesturing for you to sit, “you’re more than welcome. Seonghwa should be coming too at some point,” 

“Oh,” Your stomach does a little nervous flip flop. 

“Chill,” Wooyoung interrupts your thoughts immediately, “have a drink, make some friends.” 

You smile, taking your seat and letting San push it in for you so you’re settled at the table before he returns to his own place, gesturing for the server’s attention, “What’s your drink?” he asks you. 

“Whatever you’re having is good,” You make it simple. 

San smiles and points to their glasses before holding up a finger and silently communicating to the server that they need one more. He’s more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him, now outside of work full of easy, confident energy. 

“Well,” Wooyoung smiles and takes a long sip of his drink, “this is nice,” 

“Yeah,” You’re not entirely sure what you’re doing here, but you might as well go with it, “thanks for letting me tag along,” 

“Mm,” San’s eyes are trained on the serving staff but he nods, and then stands as your server approaches, meeting them halfway and taking the beer, thanking them profusely for running it out so quickly. When he returns to the table he presents your drink with ease, “There we go,” 

“Thank you,” You nod, accepting the cold glass, and now that it’s in your hand you’re grateful to have the drink after the day you’ve had. 

The sip is calming, cool and crisp, and you sigh as you swallow, not realizing the way you’re being watched by both men. 

Wooyoung’s words nearly knock you sideways, and a tiny piece of you is grateful he waited until you finished sipping your drink, “So, how was your heat?” 

You cough anyways though, just the idea that someone would say it so brazenly, and in public, “What?” 

“Youngie,” San slaps him with the back of his hand, “you can’t ask her that,” 

Wooyoung ignores him, leaning forwards with his elbows on the table now, “The perfume isn’t helping as much as you think,” he says and you blanch, “and I’ve never seen Yunho stare at someone for so long in my life, so,” 

He barely met your eyes all day, and your head snaps up, “He was staring?” 

His mouth quirks up on one side and San swivels his head towards you. Wooyoung nods, “Like a puppy,”

“Fuck,” You breathe. 

Both their eyebrows raise. 

“Sorry, sorry,” You lean back in your chair, hiding your face in your hands. So much for a convenient story about them having the flu. 

“You can curse,” Wooyoung laughs, “I just didn’t expect you to admit it that fast, I thought I’d have to pry it out of you.”

“Oh, this is so bad,” You groan. 

“Why bad?” San asks, “Yunho’s nice,” 

You sigh, still hiding your face.

“He’s easily one of the best guys I know,” San continues, “and there’s nothing that says we can’t date within the company, we’re not idols,” 

“Oh god,” You groan again. 

“Is it so bad he has a crush on you?” San asks. 

Wooyoung breaks into hysterics and your hands fall away, a blank, open expression on San’s face as he tries to pick up on the joke. You wince, shaking your head, “It’s worse than that,” 

“Worse,” San repeats, still slow on the uptake. 

“Woo,” You find his eyes with yours, “please don’t make me say it.” 

He sobers quickly, and takes a swig of his beer, “Right,” he faces San, “Yunho had the flu, but it wasn’t really the flu. They were heat partners.” 

“Oh,” San says, “oh,” 

“Exactly,” You sigh. 

There’s a beat and then San’s brow screws up in confusion, “Didn’t Mingi have the flu too?” 

Heat tints your cheeks pink instantaneously and you look down at your glass, suddenly focused on the tiny bursting bubbles at the top of your beer. You brace yourself for their reaction. 

“Holy shit,” Wooyoung breathes, “y/n, you’re a god,” 

“What?” Your head snaps up. 

“Both of them?” Wooyoung shakes his head, “Tell me everything,” 

“You don’t have to do that,” San interrupts him again, smacking the back of his arm, “he’s needlessly curious, but you know, you don’t have to share if you don’t,”

The words flood out of you, a small piece of you thankful that you don’t have to hold this whole thing inside yourself forever, “I went into heat at the studio,” 

“What?” Wooyoung’s face softens, and you know that he understands just what that means. The anxiety, the fear, all of it. 

“This is embarrassing,” You sigh. 

“Then you don’t have to,” San tries again, wanting badly to save you from any further humiliation or pressure. 

You ignore him and hold Wooyoung’s eyes, “Friends, right?” 

He nods. 

You swallow hard and then take the leap, “I can’t afford my suppressants right now,” you start and his eyes soften more, “I thought I had rationed them right, but after the recording it hit me like a truck.” 

“I knew you seemed off,” Wooyoung says softly, “then what?” 

“Mingi found me in the locker room, and then he got Yunho, and they made sure I got out of there okay,” You lean back, crossing your arms and biting the inside of your lip. 

“Sharing your heat was unplanned?” Wooyoung clarifies. 

“Yes,” 

“And it was,” He searches for the right words, “I mean… were they okay? Everything was okay?” 

You know what he’s asking without asking, and you nod, “Completely, it was more than okay, they were…”

“They’re both good guys,” San says, “it’s good they were there.” 

“Yeah,” You breathe, before snapping yourself out of own head and reaching for your beer again, “anyways, yes, so they took me back to their place and now it’s four, five days later and everything’s so fucking awkward,” 

“Hmm,” Wooyoung murmurs, “and it was good?” 

You nod, lips pressed tight together in a line. 

“Oh, it was too good,” Wooyoung grimaces, “yikes.” 

“Right,” You sigh, “and Yunho and Mingi both made it pretty clear that this was a one-time casual sex thing, which is fine, but also you know how heat goes. Everything is all jumbled up now,” 

“Mm,” Wooyoung nods, and then his eyes shift to above your head and he grins, “Hwa, right here!”

Park Seonghwa appears a moment later, a warm smile on his angular face and he pushes a lock of dark black hair behind his ear as he finds an open seat and slides into the table, “Hey,” he greets, and then turns to you, “hi, y/n, nice to see you outside the studio,” 

“You too,” You smile. 

San once again repeats his process for getting Seonghwa a drink, and your stomach tightens as you think about what Wooyoung might say in front of this man you barely know. 

“It looks like I interrupted something,” Seonghwa says a few moments later when everything is still quiet and hanging still. 

Wooyoung doesn’t say it, he just holds your gaze intently and raises an eyebrow as if to say - Can I? 

You sigh, catching Seonghwa off guard, and then you nod. 

“y/n just got back from heat leave,” Wooyoung turns to Seonghwa to explain, “with Yunho and Mingi.” 

You expect a sheepish or embarrassed reaction, someone quick to divert the conversation away from sex, but it turns out you don’t know Seonghwa as well as you thought. He merely makes a noise of acknowledgement and glances to you, “How messy are things, then? They were both being weird today,” 

“I don’t know,” You answer honestly with a sigh. 

“They said they wanted it to be a one-time thing,” Wooyoung says, “but is the problem that you like them? Or one of them?” 

“I can see that,” Seonghwa smiles, “Yunho kind of oozes perfect boyfriend,” 

“It’s not that,” You shake your head, words bubbling up as you try to make sense of it, “it probably shouldn’t have happened at all, and I’m new, I don’t want to make anything weird or uncomfortable, but we spent like four days together… it was intense, and now I just feel like I can’t not think about it when I look at them,” 

“Intense, good?” Wooyoung quirks a brow, nudging you under the table. 

“Woo,” You sigh, “I’ve never felt like that,” 

“What do you mean?” He asks softly, the two alphas at the table going silent to watch you both. 

“I don’t know what it is about them,” You confess, “but the entire time all they did was make sure I was okay, they were so tender and kind, and when I left I just wanted to go back.”

“Oh,” Wooyoung murmurs, “you’ve got it bad,” 

“My hormones are just out of whack,” You shake your head, “you know what it’s like. Have an alpha tell you they want to give you pups enough times and your brain short circuits,” 

Seonghwa shifts in his seat and San clears his throat, but Wooyoung just laughs. 

“Anyways, yes,” You take another sip of your drink, “I spent my heat with them, had the best sex of my life, and now I’m sitting here with a stomach ache because I don’t know where they are right now. I feel like the universe is playing a trick on me,” 

“Wait,” Wooyoung starts to say, but you’re on a roll now, the single beer hitting just a little harder than it should have. 

“Working here, with all of you, was my dream. I just think it’s funny that I haven’t even been here for three months and I’ve already managed to fuck it up, because now everytime I look at Yunho all I can hear is me begging him to claim me, which is insanity, pure and complete insanity,” 

“Wait,” Wooyoung repeats again, hands up and out trying to get you to slow down, “I thought it was casual heat sex,” 

“It was,” You resurface from your own panicked rambling and realize just how shocked the table looks, “what?” 

“You asked Yunho to bite you?” Wooyoung asks, and when you nod he says, “and right now, how do you feel?” 

“Fine,” You knee-jerk answer, “but, a little anxious I guess?” 

“I don’t know how to explain this,” He says, looking to the two alphas for help who both shake their heads. 

“Why do I feel like I’m missing something?” You glance between them. 

“Okay,” Wooyoung claps his hands together, “listen, I have never asked Sannie to give me pups. I have never asked him to bite me, and I have never, ever, gotten all dizzy and sick when he’s not around.” 

“Hey,” San grumbles, “I think she gets it,” 

“I don’t,” You manage. 

“What you had is a lot more than heat sex,” Wooyoung finally settles on, and your stomach drops. 

“Woo,” You shake your head again, “no,” 

“I’m serious!” He insists, “How else do you explain it,” 

“You’re so dramatic,” You roll your eyes and reach for your drink, but find the glass empty, “it was good, really good, but that’s all it was.” 

“He’s not wrong,” Seonghwa interrupts, his deep voice still calm and easy, “sometimes connections are just stronger. Scents match better, you know, everything just clicks. It doesn’t mean Yunho’s your soulmate, but if the pull is there, then there’s something there.” 

You ignore the pull and flash him a weak smile, “Not for them.” 

“Them,” Seonghwa corrects, “both of them?” 

“I know,” You bury your head in your hands again. 

“y/n,” San’s hand lays softly on your forearm, “no matter what happened, Yunho and Mingi are both still the guys from a few days ago. They’re still good men who care about you, even if that’s just as a member of the crew or a friend.” 

“Can I ask a question?” Seonghwa interrupts. 

“Sure,” You sigh, lifting your eyes to his. 

“How do you know they don’t want you too?” 

The question makes you feel awful, and you catch Wooyoung’s sympathetic look in your peripheral vision and nearly lose your composure, but the truth of it is simple. You clear your throat softly and straighten up, “They said so,” 

“Oh,” He nods. 

“And I’m not even sure I want them,” You tack on, “I don’t even really know them,” 

Silence stretches at the table, and San’s eyes flick from yours to Seonghwa.

“Then let’s get another drink,” Seonghwa finally says, “let’s get your mind off it, and let’s have a good night. I know things are awkward at the studio, but don’t let them be. Just focus on the work and yourself and make some friends, and this whole thing will just be a funny story,” 

You nod and sigh, “Okay,” 

“Yeah,” Wooyoung offers, “a month from now no one’s going to remember,” 

It’s around the third bar when someone brings it up again. You’re several more drinks deep, learning so much about the group dynamics that you can’t get while inside the studio walls. Wooyoung is quick to peel back all the layers for you now that you’re actually out with them and not just pushing it off a little longer for the sake of your wallet. 

Leaning across the expanse of the table Seonghwa gets your attention with a drunken tap on your arm and his eyes narrow, “What’s this about you not being able to afford your suppressants?” 

“What?” For a second his words don’t compute. 

“Your meds, your suppressants,” He gestures, a little beer tipping over the edge of his glass, “why aren’t you on them?” 

“I will be soon,” You lean in closer to hear each other over the music, “insurance window,” 

“Ah,” He nods, “so what’s your plan next time?” 

“Next time?” You turn your head so that his mouth is closer to your ear. 

“Next heat,” He clarifies, a little slur in his speech, “while you’re onboarding,” 

Your eyebrows shoot up at his words, “I don’t really know, I guess,” 

“Mm,” He nods. 

“Why?” You scoot your chair closer. 

“I’m assuming you don’t want to,” His voice gets swallowed up by Wooyoung shouting something over the music and you shake your head. 

“What?” You squint, shifting closer, bracing your hand on the table by his glass to steady yourself. 

“Go back to Yunho and Mingi!” He all but shouts, “I’m assuming you don’t want to do that,” 

“Fuck no,” You groan, “I’d rather take care of it myself than deal with feeling like this,” 

“What about me?” He says and you laugh, but you don’t really know why. He clears his throat and shakes his head, sobering himself just a little, “Seriously,” 

“What about you, what?” 

He rolls his eyes, “Help with heat, I help Woo, San and I both do,” 

“Oh,” 

“Only if you need a hand,” He smiles, round eyes shining and kind, “or you know, a knot in this case,” 

You clap a hand over your mouth and can’t help but fall apart into giggles, “You’re serious,” 

He quirks his eyebrow at you, dropping his drink back onto the table so he can draw an X over his chest with two fingers, crossing his heart. 

“What are you doing over there?” Wooyoung interrupts and your head snaps to the side, “Making a blood pact? You’re both trashed,” 

“I am not trashed,” You insist, even though you can feel yourself slipping off the chair you’re on inch by inch. 

“You’re allowed to be,” Wooyoung pushes a shot of soju towards you, “you’re broke and in love,” 

“Wooyoung!” His words strike panic through you, “Seriously, stop that,”

“Alright, alright,” He throws up his hands, “broke and and in lust, whatever,” 

San’s lips curl up in a half smile at his friend’s words. His eyes are closed, and he’s swaying a little from side to side, jerking back to center every now and again when his equilibrium feels too sideways. It’s entirely possible Wooyoung is the most sober one here and that thought makes you burst into laughter. San’s eyes fly open at the sound. 

“I was offering my services,” Seonghwa cuts in, like he had been thinking about what to say that entire time and finally found the words. 

“Your what?” Wooyoung laughs. 

“For her next heat,” He explains, waving his hand like it’s simple addition, “my services,” 

“Seonghwa,” San shakes his head sharply, “stop.”

“It’s not as if I’m with someone,” Seonghwa replies, holding San’s gaze intently, and for a split second it’s obvious there’s some kind of a backstory behind them all or their friendship or just Seonghwa himself that everyone knows and you don’t, but it isn’t the time to ask.

“Yeah,” San says a little gruffly, blinking hard to shake off the alcohol, “well, this still isn’t the time.” 

Wooyoung wraps it up smoothly, “We’re all too drunk for this,” 

“Exactly,” You take a moment of solace in the cup of soju. 

“I mean it though,” Seonghwa tears his eyes away from San and a hand drops onto your knee, “you’re pretty, I’m pretty, just keep it in mind,” 

There’s almost no way he’ll remember this tomorrow, so you let him off the hook with a smile and a hand on the side of his cheek, “Thank you, Hwa,” 

“That’s what f-friends are for,” He hiccups lightly, and then you watch his eyes unfocus as the dizziness floods his vision and he drops his head unceremoniously onto your shoulder, “oh, God, I’m drunk,” 

“There it is,” Wooyoung grins. 

You slip forward as Seonghwa’s weight drops onto you and you brace yourself on the edge of the table, but San swoops in, “Come here, hyung, stop hanging on her,” 

“Hmm?” Seonghwa’s eyes look tired when San gets him off you and over his shoulder, “Sannie?” 

“Yeah,” San softens, “it’s just me,” 

“I think I need to lie down,” Seonghwa murmurs, his head falling onto San’s ready shoulder. 

“I know, hyung, I know,” San softens, and then turns to the table, “can we go?” 

“Yeah,” Wooyoung stumbles as he gets up but then straightens, tucking himself under Seonghwa’s other arm once he gets his feet under him, “y/n, you good?”

You pull yourself up too, knocking back the final shot of soju so it doesn’t go to waste and pulling on your jacket, “Good,” 

In the cool night air outside the bar everything gets dizzier, more watery and hazy, and something in your gut pulls hard. For a brief passing moment you wonder what Yunho and Mingi are doing right now. 

San’s saying something and you shake yourself out of your stupor, “What’s that?” 

“I said, where do you live?” He lets Wooyoung take more of Seonghwa’s weight as he turns his focus to you. 

You give him your address, “I can call an Uber,” 

“I live kind of close,” He nods, “let me take you,” 

“You really don’t have to,” 

“It would make me feel better,” San brushes you off immediately, “we’ve all been drinking, you shouldn’t be alone,” 

“What about him?” You nod towards Seonghwa. 

“I got him,” Wooyoung assures, “we live in the same building.” 

“You sure?” San checks, “We can all go together,”

“It’s the opposite direction,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “and I’m tired, this just makes more sense,”

San nods and then checks on Seonghwa once more, “Make him drink some water, okay?” 

“Yep,” Wooyoung salutes, rolls Seonghwa into an Uber, and then they’re gone. 

Leaving you and San alone on the sidewalk. 

“Let me get a car,” He says, shaking off some of his lingering drunkenness and pulling out his phone. 

Of the three men, you talked to San the least. As the night had stretched on, you found yourself sidled up with Seonghwa or talking across the table animatedly with Wooyoung, but San seemed to give you a little space. He was also the one who commented the least on your recent sexual escapades and now standing in the middle of the street with him and him alone, you have no idea what you’ll talk about. 

You watch as he types into his phone, lets it search, and then his nose crinkles, “Twenty minutes,” 

“Oh,” You push up on your tiptoes to see his screen, “damn,” 

He thinks for a minute and then sighs, “You want to walk a bit? I need to sober up a little anyways,” 

“Sure,” 

“Hungry?” His brows perk up. 

“Definitely,” You smile. 

“There’s places in our direction,” He waves you on, and you fall into lockstep with him as you wind out of the alley and back into the city streets. 

It’s quiet for a moment, and you know one of you has to break the silence, but mercifully he gets there first, “You’re a good dancer, you know,” 

“So are you,” You glance up at him, and he smiles. 

He’s handsome, especially like this with his cheeks tinged pink with the night of drinking and his hair falling in his eyes. He directs you forward across an intersection and then looks down to keep talking, “You pick little things up really quickly, it’s impressive,” 

“I appreciate that,” The alcohol seems to be less pervasive now that you’re out of the loud club and walking some of it off and you sigh, “honestly, I was staying late with Mingi a lot of nights. He was helping me catch up,” 

“Ah,” San nods, “that makes sense,” 

You keep walking. Normally you can get a conversation going without any problems, but with the alcohol and the late night and the fact that you really don’t know San all that well, you’re tongue tied. 

He sighs heavily and looks at you, like he had been weighing whether or not to say something and finally chose to just do it anyway. “Don’t worry about what Seonghwa said,” He manages, “he was drunk, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted to make you uncomfortable.” 

“Oh,” Your stomach knots up, “he didn’t,” 

“Good,” San nods, looking relieved, “he’s a good man, he’s,” San searches for his words for a moment, “not the type to proposition a coworker, that’s not what,” 

“Oh!” It makes sudden sense why San was being so careful, offering to walk you home and trying to keep Seonghwa in check, “No, San, that’s not at all what I thought,” 

“It’s not?” His eyebrow quirks up. 

“No, I mean,” Your gaze falls away from him, “it probably should be, but I know he meant well. Plus, I know you both help Wooyoung,” 

“Well,” San shakes his head, “that’s a little different,” 

“Because you’re all men?” 

He smiles, a little sheepish, “No, I was going to say because we’re old friends, but I guess there’s that too.” 

“Ah,” You turn towards him, “well, really, you shouldn’t worry about me like that. Hwa was just trying to be a good friend, and I’m sure he won’t remember it tomorrow anyways,” 

He sighs, relieved this time, “Good, okay,” 

“Is that what you were worried about?” You ask. 

“Between that and Woo practically interrogating you,” His nose crinkles again, “that part of your life is private, he shouldn’t pry like that.” 

“I would have told him to stop,” You shake your head. 

“I hope so,” He says, “I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with us after everything you’re dealing with. We like you in the crew,” 

“You do?” 

“Definitely,” He twists to meet your eyes, “you have fire. I saw it in the audition tape,” 

Blush flushes your cheeks, “Thank you,” 

“I’m just being honest,” He smiles. 

You smile back. 

It gets easier the more and more you walk with San. The alcohol slowly dissipates in both your systems, and after a few more blocks the idea of street food seems even more appealing. He refuses to let you pay and you only protest once, albeit weakly, before he gives you a simple shake of the head and takes care of things without another word. 

It’s a thirty minute walk, especially at this meandering pace, but eventually you make it back to your block, and you don’t know what possesses you to turn the conversation back to Yunho and Mingi and everything it means but you do. He’s less shy to discuss it now, especially after enough time getting to know each other and sinking into a conversational rhythm. 

By the time you make it to your apartment walkway, your corn dog is half eaten and your previous anxiety about talking to San is gone entirely. You gesture up to your building, “This is me,” 

“Nice,” He comments, and then he takes a seat on your stoop and looks up at you, expectant.

“What?” You ask at his expression. 

“You weren’t done, come on, tell me the rest,” He leans back against the railing, stretching out his legs. 

“Right,” You remember yourself, flopping down onto the step next to him and running a hand through your hair, “where was I?” 

“Yunho reminding you of your ex,” San prompts you. 

“Ah,” You shake your head, “I mean not really, my ex was an asshole, but… I guess I didn’t know that for a long time. I thought he was nice, I thought he was the right guy.” 

“And Yunho’s nice and the right guy?” He smirks. 

“No, no,” You wave your hands, “fuck, I’m not making sense with this at all.” 

“Can I guess?” San turns his body towards you a little more. 

You nod. 

“When your heat was over,” San’s expression is almost a little apologetic as he addresses it directly, “did you all agree it was just sex?” 

“Yes,” 

“And that you could all be adults about it?” He adds. 

You nod again. 

“And today you were all awkward as hell and avoiding each other?” 

“Basically,” 

“Listen,” San rests his hand on your knee, “I don’t know what your ex did or didn’t do, but they’re not that guy.” 

“I know,” You sigh. 

“But I get it,” San interrupts, “it feels like you had this connection and everything was good and now they’re pretending you don’t exist, and how is that different from any other guy?” 

He has you there. You manage a nod. 

“Well, I don’t know how they feel about you,” He offers, “but I promise you they’re just as embarrassed as you. It’s easy to say you’ll stay friends and that the lines won’t get blurred, but they always, always do.” 

You study him for a moment, at the way he’s speaking so genuinely and it dawns on you, “You speak from experience, I’m guessing?” 

He looks down and away, nodding before he brings his eyes back up to yours, “Yeah,” 

“Woo?” You guess softly. 

After an entire night of watching them lean against each other, touch each other, talk amongst themselves in their little bubble, you’re shocked when his mouth turns up into a sad smile and he shakes his head, “No, Woo and I have figured out how to make this whole thing easy,” 

“Oh,” 

“Wooyoung loves me, but he’s not in love with me.” San clarifies. 

“And you?” You ask softly. 

“He’s my best friend,” San says confidently, “and I’ll never let him be in pain,” 

“But?” You nudge him. 

“It was a long time ago,” He shakes his head and for the first time all night you know he’s told you a lie, but you let it pass. He shakes off the momentary lapse and continues, “but I know how you’re feeling.” 

“Then how do I make it right?” You ask him. 

“Sometimes you can’t,” He says honestly, “sometimes one person just feels so much more than the other, and you try to make it work until you bend so much for them you break.” 

“I know what Woo said,” You shake your head, “but I’m not in love with them. I’m not.” 

“I trust you,” San nods, “you know yourself better than Youngie.” 

“It’s just this thing inside me,” You confess, and maybe it’s the alcohol or the lateness of the hour but you feel safer here on your stoop with him than you have in a long, long time, so you keep confessing. “I wish sometimes so much that I could just be a beta, that I could forget all about this and just know for sure. I’ve… never known anything for real and how am I supposed to trust anything I feel if my body just decides for me.” 

He’s quiet for a moment, but then he says, “Being an omega is a beautiful thing,” 

“Don’t,” You shake your head sharply, “I’ve heard that one all my life,” 

“It is,” He insists, “all of it’s beautiful. Every part and piece of us is, alpha, beta, omega, all of it.” 

“San, that’s not,” 

“I know what you meant,” San says softly, sliding his hand into yours and giving you a squeeze, “and it would be easier to be a beta, and to not have to wonder every time. Does the person you like feel right because you like them or because something about them is a good biological match?” 

“Exactly,” 

“Believe me,” He squeezes you again, “I get it.” 

Tears prickle in your eyes and you swallow hard to clear them, “Then how do I make this work? How do I go back to the studio and put this behind me?” 

“Is that what you want?” He checks, thumb stroking along the back of your hand. 

“Yes,” You sigh, “it doesn’t even matter how I feel or don’t feel, I can’t take that risk here,” 

“The work is more important,” He finishes for you. 

“Yes.” 

“Then don’t let them in again,” San says simply, “not like before. Be friends, but keep things professional. Get some distance from this whole thing,” 

“I have a feeling this is not the advice Woo would be giving me,” You smile. 

“No,” San laughs, “Wooyoung would tell you to open yourself up to the great mystery of being loved or something,” 

“And you’re not a romantic,” You smirk. 

“No, no,” He shakes his head, “I am, but being a romantic doesn’t mean you have to let people hurt you. I’ve seen Woo get his heart broken a dozen times now, and he keeps trying. He’s the strongest person I know, and I love him for it, but it’s not the only way.” 

“So what he said at the bar,” You tuck your unfinished food into the little bag and leave it to the side, “what he said about my heat?” 

“I mean,” He shrugs, “y/n, this isn’t your first time. Don’t listen to him,” 

“But Seonghwa,” You remember the way Seonghwa agreed, like a scent match was the stars aligning. 

“Fuck them both,” San shakes his head, “just because you had a connection with them doesn’t mean they’re the only people you can connect with.” 

Your eyes fill with tears again and he shakes his head when he sees your hazy eyes, brushing your jaw softly with his fingers. You swallow hard and sigh, breath hitching in your chest, “You know what’s funny about this?” 

“Hmm?” He brushes your jaw again. 

“I don’t even want to date right now, I just,” You shrug lightly, “I want to work. I want to have friends. I want to go out and meet people or stay in if I feel like it. I don’t want to sit on the couch pining or walk on eggshells at the studio,” 

“y/n,” San steadies you, his voice low and calm, “listen to me, okay?” 

“Okay,” You murmur. 

“You have work to do, so focus on it. You have friends, including me, and Woo, and Seonghwa, okay? You come out with us… or don’t,” He smiles and squeezes your hand, “and the studio will feel weird for a little while, but trust yourself, it will fade.” 

“It will,” You nod, “you’re right,” 

He nods, holding your gaze a little longer until he gives you one more squeeze. San shifts back to give you a little space, his hands leaving you and clasping together to hang between his legs. He smiles, “Do you feel any better?” 

“Yeah,” You run your hands through your hair and let out a long, tired exhale. 

“Sobered up?” He checks. 

“Mostly,” You nod, checking your watch, “but it’s so late I’m still going to be feeling it tomorrow,” 

“Mm,” He nods, “we aren’t starting until eleven though,” 

“True,” 

The night is drawing to a close, you can feel it. You don’t really want to be alone with your thoughts again, but you’re also so tired you think you might drop on the spot, so you start to pull away and hope that you’ll be able to fall asleep the minute you hit the pillows. 

He pushes himself up to stand and offers you a hand to help you to your feet, “Should I walk you up?” 

You shake your head, “I got it,” 

“I’ll wait until you get in,” He smiles and nods. 

You make it two steps up before you turn back to him, “Thank you, San,” you tell him, “for everything tonight, really,” 

He smiles wider, his eyes crinkling up and he nods again, “Don’t thank me, just remember what I said.” 

“I will,” 

“And y/n,” He calls after you as you start back up the path, “sleep well,” 

“You too, Sannie,” You give him one last look before you push open your apartment door and start up the steps. He doesn’t budge, making sure you’re in the door before he pulls out his phone and starts his short walk home. 

Coming home this time doesn’t hurt the same. 

You hope for more of the same tomorrow. 

You hope every day that it fades away, little by little. 

[hoedamn-eron]

baby, please - part 18

It's time for your 'surprise' baby shower (that Santi did not give away at all).

Warnings: Mentions of unsupportive family members. Like two swear words. Mentions of Santi being absent. Reader calls her friends 'guys', as a collective. A bit emotional but all around good vibes. Absolutely not proofread (surprise), so there will probably be mistakes. Word count: 3,802 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

It’s come to light recently that my partner has been reading this 😂 Hi Dom!

Part 17 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 19

“We’re going to be late!”

“I know, I know, I'm coming!” you call, fixing your make up in the mirror. You double – triple – check your appearance before you leave Courtney’s bathroom.

Your friends were still under the impression you knew nothing about the baby shower, since no-one (including yourself) had ever said anything about organising one. You would have been okay with or without – but you’re secretly happy that something was arranged. You’d been looking forward to the shower since Santi had accidentally given away on Christmas day.

You’re wearing a baby blue dress (you weren’t sure if it was hinting at the gender, but you highly doubted Santi told anyone – or maybe he did…you’re not going to get into it), with a low V-neck and ruffles along the edges. At 8 months pregnant, not many things made you feel ‘pretty’ anymore; you felt like you’d eaten a watermelon. But this dress was cute, and when Beth gave it to you to wear for your ‘last hurrah lunch’, you had burst into tears at how cutely pregnant you looked.

Your hormones were still all over the place.

Andy and Courtney were waiting by the front door as you meet them, smiling shyly at Courtney. “Sorry. I’m ready to go now.”

“You look lovely,” Andy said, smiling at your, spinning his car keys in his hand. Andy was such a good guy. He reminded you a little of Benny, in the way that he was like a golden retriever. He was so willing to drop you guys off at the restaurant.

“Thank you, Andy,” you say, smiling back.

“Come on, Beth and Gabs are already there waiting for us,” Courtney said, frowning at her phone.

You follow the two to Andy’s car, sitting in the back seat before Andy drives off towards the restaurant. You’re talking about what kind of food you’re going to get, what desserts you wanted, and how you’re going to eat all you like with no judgement. You didn’t miss the grins Courtney and Andy sent to each other.

After Andy parks the car outside the restaurant, Courtney helps you out, holding your hand for steadiness. You thanked her before you all make your way into the restaurant, where you were led by a hostess through towards the back. You grinned as Courtney and Andy talked quicker, more excited, the further you made your way in.

You were glad that you hadn’t said anything about knowing of the baby shower. They were obviously so excited they had managed to pull it off.

As you were lead through some double doors, before you freeze as a loud, “SURPRISE!” overtakes your senses. Although you were expecting something, it still caught you off guard.

You look around the room with wide eyes, almost laughing. You were expecting a baby shower, sure, but not with this many people. You spotted Beth and Georgia, with Gabrielle and Matthew, smiling widely by the front. Then you spotted Emily from work, with Harriet, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here. Then you spotted Santi with Frankie and Sarah, and Benny was with Will and Claire (Benny, in true Benny fashion, was the loudest and held his arms out wide, a big smile on his face).

There were typical baby decorations – balloons in the shape of pacifiers, pink and blue banners around the room, tables covered in matching pink and blue tablecloths – and the tables were filled with all sorts of food (you did not miss the large bowl of Sourpatch watermelon pieces). The central table was laden with tempting treats, and cupcakes with pastel-coloured frosting, and a tiered cake adorned with baby booties, and an assortment of finger foods invite everyone to indulge in the celebration. There was a pile of gifts towards the back of the room, and piles and piles of diapers. Everyone must have spent a fortune.

You look at everyone before laughing. “There’s so many people here.”

“Did we surprise you?” Courtney asked excitedly.

You give a quick glance to Santi before nodding. “Yes, you did. I had no idea!”

“Liar,” joked Beth, as she gave you a hug. “But thanks for letting us think that you didn’t know.”

“In my defence, I only found out two weeks ago, so you did fairly well until then.”

“Santiago can’t keep a secret for shit,” muttered Courtney, giving him a glare at said man, who was chatting away to Frankie and Benny, laughing at something Benny said.

“How did you even pull all of this off?” you ask, looking around at everything.

“Benny and I came up with it at the Halloween party!” said Gabrielle, smiling widely. “We exchanged numbers and we’ve all been in cahoots trying to get it organised.”

“I cannot believe you didn’t tell me it was Santiago who was your baby daddy!”

You cringe as you turn to Emily, who was stood with a flute of champagne in her hand, Harriet at her side, texting on her phone, her own champagne flute in her hand. “Surprise?”

“Oh, oh! ‘Surprise’!” said Emily, scoffing and rolling her eyes. “I am shocked! Betrayed – “

“Did you not do the math to figure it out?” you ask, grinning.

Emily goes quiet and stares at you before she suddenly burst into tears. “I can’t believe that I’m the one who set you guys up!”

She pulls you into a hug, and you awkwardly pat her on the back at you give your friends a wide-eyed look. “There, there,” you say.

“Let her go, Emily, she needs to mingle,” muttered Harriet. She finally put her phone away and gives you a tight smile as Emily lets you go, wiping her eyes before Gabrielle tends to her. “Congratulations, again.”

“Thank you,” you say. “I know you’re busy, you don’t have to stay – “

“Yeah, I’m meeting with the big bosses, so I’ll have to dash, but thanks again for the invite,” Harriet said quickly, placing her glass on a table. “Just thought I’d show my face. I’ll see you on Monday.”

She was gone before you could blink.

“What a…fun person,” said Beth, raising her eyebrows at you.

You roll your eyes. “She’s always like that.” You say, before smiling. “So what’s first?”

“First,” Gabrielle says, shoving a glass of Diet Coke in your hands. “Is that you sit down and let all of us tell you how amazing you are.”

“Then,” said Beth, leading you over to a cutely decorated table, sitting you down. “We’ll play some games, the really cheesy stuff. Like guess the weight of the babies, guess the length of the bump, all that stuff. Including prizes, which you are exempt from since you have an advantage.”

“Being pregnant?”

“Being pregnant.”

“Then some lunch,” said Courtney, grinning. “Then presents.”

“Always the best part of any occasion,” you joke, sipping your drink.

You sat with your friends, Sarah and Claire soon joining you and introducing themselves to Beth, Georgia, Courtney, and Emily. They blend in with the group with ease, and soon you’re laughing and joking together like you’ve been friends for years. Sarah tells them all that she never thought Santiago would ever have kids or stick around for anyone.

“It’s nearly been a year since he’s come back,” said Sarah. “He usually bolts by month one or two. Santiago Garcia can’t stay in one place for too long.”

You ignore the way the panic blossoms in your chest and disappears just as quickly as it reared its ugly head. She was only joking; Santiago has made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t going anywhere. You were weeks away from giving birth and he was still here, still celebrating with you and your friends. You’d finally agreed on names, after spending months and months disagreeing with every name you threw at each other. However, you were not quite ready to share with the world just yet, wanting to keep them to yourself until your babies finally arrived.

You gave a soft smile as Sarah still talked. No, Santi wasn’t leaving. He was here for good.

“You bad mouthing me?” Santi suddenly asked, appearing at your side as he throws a teasing grin to Sarah.

“Oh please, your attack dog will have something to say about it if I dare say a bad thing about you,” Sarah says, rolling her eyes good naturedly as she nods at Frankie, who was still talking to Benny.

“You gotta talk me up, Morales, these guys are important,” Santi replied, laughing as he motioned to your friends.

You reach over to pat his arm and give him a mock sympathetic look as Sarah teased him, before you turn to your friends. “Shall we play some games then?”

Gabrielle grins widely as Courtney nods.

Courtney calls everyone over to the table, before producing a ball of yarn. “We’re going to guess how big your bump is by measuring a string.”

“Santiago, you’re immediately disqualified, you probably have the bump mapped out,” said Beth, causing everyone to laugh.

You laugh along with them, but you realise something. Santi has never actually…touched your bump. Or if he had, it’s been a while since. You frown a little at the thought. When was the last time? Didn’t dad’s usually want to feel their kids moving? You think back and the only time you can remember was when you called him frantically because you had felt their first kicks and he wasn’t there. He’d come rushing over and you were both say in silence for what felt like hours with his hands on your belly as you both waited for it to happen again. That was months ago. What did that mean? Did he feel awkward doing it again? You were good friends, and you were pregnant with his kids, you wouldn’t have a problem with him wanting to feel the bump whenever he wanted.

You were looking into this too hard. Maybe has was just respecting your boundaries, that you don’t want to always be touched. Maybe you should let him know that he’s okay to do it. Not now, but later.

Courtney went around the group, letting everyone estimate how your bump measured. When it was Matthew’s turn, he looked between you and Gabrielle before he asked his wife, “How big were you with Luna?”

You wince at the question, and you noticed a few other people pull a face. Gabrielle had some self-esteem issues when she was pregnant with Luna, which was a different pregnancy with Theodore.

Gabrielle just gives him a tight smile. “Not as big as someone with twins, thank you very much. No offence.”

You shake your head. “None taken.”

Matthew, shaking his head, measured out a piece of string, looking at you a few times before finally cutting it.

Courtney makes her way around the group, where everyone made their measurements. Benny got into a spat with Frankie about how big his string was, before making one much bigger than Frankie’s.

“Hey!” you cried at Benny. “That’s offensive!”

“There’s two in there!” he cried, pointing to your bump, and holding up his string. “And I know that Garcia’s make big babies! Pope was eleven pounds when he was born!”

Your eyes widened as you look back at Santi. “You never told me that.”

He merely smirked at you.

“Would have been nice to know before I got pregnant.”

“Wasn’t intending to get you pregnant, didn’t think it was worth mentioning.”

You pull a face before nodding. “Okay, fair. Anyway, twins are usually smaller than average, so you might be off, Benny.”

“Damn,” Benny muttered as he passed the string over to Will and Claire.

Benny, in fact, ends up winning the string game.

“Are you kidding!?” you cry, mouth hanging open as Emily measures your bump with Benny’s perfect string.

Benny, with his arms raised and hands curled into fists in celebration, parades around the room like a peacock. Frankie and Will throw over some friendly insults as he picks a prize (oddly, he chose a cute little succulent).

The games continue with baby shower bingo, adding an element of friendly competition to the atmosphere. A Gabrielle shouted the words on the bingo cards, you enjoy joining in, getting competitive with Courtney, trying to shove her card away whenever she was searching for a word, only for her to keep stamping the wrong words on your own card. You glance at Santi who wasn’t taking too much of a part of this game, choosing to talk intensely with Frankie and Will, Benny playing bingo with Claire and Sarah. You frown lightly at him with worry before turning back to the game before Claire lets out a cry of joy, and calls out, "Bingo!"

She won a Lush voucher, which she was very happy about.

Next, Claire arranged a table with an array of dolls laid out, and a row of diapers, baby wipes, and baby talc. Gabrielle took lead on this one also, explaining that the dolls needed changing, and you had to use all the tools on the table. The one with the quickest time won.

You didn’t take part, claiming you’d be changing diapers for what felt like the rest of time when the babies arrived, so you sat back and watched in amusement as the chaos began. You were crying laughing everyone frantically tried to change the doll’s diapers; there was a suspiciously odd number of resources available, which meant a few people were scrambling and shouting at each other for cheating and hogging the wipes, or the talc. You were sure Santi and Benny were about to wrestle on the floor.

In the end, Will won, but graciously gave his prize of the collection of Hershey’s chocolate to Emily, who’d had her eye on it the moment she walked into the venue.

After Beth announced a small break for some lunch, you mosey your way on over to Santi, who finally had a moment alone. “Hi,” you say as you take a seat next to him.

“Hi,” he said, grinning back at you.

“How you doing?”

He gives a short snort of laughter, taking a sip of his water. “I’m doing good.”

“Good,” you say, nodding. “Saw you and Frankie and Will talking earlier. You were a bit...off, is everything okay?”

Santi frowned at you for a small moment, so brief you almost miss it, before shaking his head. “Everything’s fine.”

You raise your eyebrows at him pointedly. “You sure?”

He nodded, placing his drink back on the table. “Yeah.”

“If you say so,” you say.

You drop it. You can tell something is bothering him, but you’re sure he’ll tell you when he’s ready. You look around the room, smiling at all your friends mingling, Benny talking to Matthew and Gabrielle (or at least listening to something Matthew was talking about), Frankie and Sarah were chatting with Beth and Georgia, and Courtney was talking with Claire and helping set up the next activity (from what you could see, it looked like onesie decorating), as Andy and Will were getting some more drinks.

“So how do you find my friends?” you ask him.

Santi gives a chuckle before looking at you, grinning. “Beth scares the shit out of me.”

You laugh. “She’s an angel, what do you mean?”

“She’s very protective over you,” he says.

“She’s protective of anyone she loves. You’re the same,” you say, waving over to his friends. “You’d take a bullet for any of them. You probably have taken a bullet for them.”

“One or two,” Santi quips, sipping again at his drink.

“Exactly,” you say, nudging his shoulder with yours.

He stays silent for a moment before he takes a breath and places his drink back on the table. “I know we’re doing gifts later, but I wanted to give you this now.”

He digs around in his pocket, pulling out a small, wrapped box. He hands it to you, and you take it after a moment before unwrapping it. You pause as you look at the small white box, before giving a wide smile at Santiago and opening it. You give a giggle at the new charm for your bracelet, a baby carriage.

“To commemorate your baby shower,” Santi says.

“Our baby shower,” you say, before lifting the charm gently. “Put it on, put it on!”

You hold it out to Santi before offering your wrist, where the bracelet he gave you for Christmas still lay. You hardly take it off. He smiles as he holds your arm gently, moving it so he could place the charm on. He makes sure it’s secure before giving your hand a small pat, and you bring your wrist to your eyes to get a good look at it.

“It’s beautiful,” you say. “Thank you, Santi. It’s an amazing addition.”

“I’m glad you like it.” He gives you another smile before glancing around the room. “Let’s get some food. I’m starving.”

After lunch, you sit with your friends and start decorating some onesies. You attempt to stick to a jungle theme, to match Santi’s nursery (from what you could tell). You laugh at your poor attempt of a tiger and panda that you tried to draw on the onesies, and you and Emily try to fix it with some patterns and some more colour, but you eventually decided it was a lost cause, that they were as good as they were going to get.

You decided you were going to pack them in your hospital bag.

Throughout the rest of the celebration, snippets of conversation, shared memories, and well-wishes fill the air. Gabrielle and Matthew swap parenting tips and recount their own experiences with you, Santi, and Frankie and Sarah, leaving you with some laughs and new worries, which you would be able to conquer with the love and support from everyone.

You open your presents with excitement, oohing and ahhing at the new clothes, the crib sheets, even down to teething toys and pacifiers. You thanked everyone profusely, sharing some smiles with Santi. You were already picturing the presents scattered around your new house, where you would store them away when they weren’t being used, where all the small, teeny-tiny clothes were going to go.

You might start crying.

More games are played, and more prizes are won between the group, and you pack away a stack of cards with baby predictions on them. You giggle to yourself as you read through some of them.

Soon after, you realise the day is ending and the venue had been subtly hinting for a while that they were ready to close. You start loading the car with the gifts and many, many packs of diapers, with the help of your friends, old and new. You hover outside the venue once everyone starts to disperse, sending goodbyes and sharing hugs.

“We’ll help you get settled into your new place over the next week, yeah?” Frankie asked you, placing his hands on his hips as you came out of a hug with Sarah.

You nod at him. “Yes, please, I would really appreciate it. The house could do with a fresh coat of paint, and I still need to build all of my furniture – “

“Don’t worry about all’a that, we’ve got it,” said Santi, looking at you with a slight frown.

Benny nodded, grinning. “Just let us know when.”

You smile widely before nodding. “Thanks again for today, really.”

“We’ll see you soon, okay?” said Sarah, giving you a pointed look. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t,” you say, before you watch them walk to their cars. You waved them off, watching them leave before sighing and turning to Santi. “So I’ll see you next week, yeah?”

He nods, arms folded over his chest. “Yup, I’ll take a few half days. You started maternity yet?”

You shake your head. “Nope, week after next. But I’m using some PTO so I don’t have to use all of my maternity leave.”

“Smart,” he says, grinning before turning to Emily, who just joined you after going to the bathroom. “Ready to go?”

“Sure,” Emily replied before giving you a hug, smiling widely. “Today was so much fun. I am still amazed that Santiago is the baby daddy we’ve been talking about.”

“Thanks for coming, Em,” you say, coming out of the hug. “Next time I see you, I’ll probably be a mom.”

“I know! It’s crazy!” she cried, before looking at Santi. “Let’s go.”

“I’ll see you later, cariño,” said Santi, bringing you into a hug before pecking you on the cheek.

You ignore the way your skin tingles afterward. “See you later.”

You both linger for a moment before coming out of the hug. You look at him and he’s already meeting your gaze, a soft smile on his face before he gives you a nod and turns to leave with Emily.

You wave as they hop in the truck and drive away before sighing, and once they were out of view, you turn back and walk into the venue, grabbing the last few gifts and thanking the staff again for being so accommodating, before you stop at Courtney’s car, where you friends are already gathered.

“Thanks for this guys, really,” you say, smiling at them as you load the last diaper pack into Courtney’s trunk. “I really enjoyed it today.”

“I’m glad you did,” said Gabrielle.

“I’m just sorry it was…” Beth says, before trailing off.

“What?” you ask after a moment.

Beth gives a sigh before looking at you. “I’m sorry that your family couldn’t celebrate this with you. I tried to contact them, but…”

You heart skips a beat at the mention of your family. Tears spring to your eyes as you try and wave it off nonchalantly. “Don’t feel bad.”

“No, Beth’s right, they should be here – “ said Courtney.

But you shake your head, cutting her off. “No, no, they’ve made their choice. Besides, I have all I need right here.”

There was a moment before your friends gather you in their arms, the tears finally falling from your eyes. You feel safe, warm, and valued. The baby shower showed that you were surrounded by love and laughter, despite the absence of your family. The memories created on this special day will forever be etched in your heart, a testament to the incredible support and love from your chosen family, and you couldn’t wait to share this journey with your children.

“We love you,” Gabrielle muttered into the group hug.

You give a small, watery laugh. “I love you guys too.”

You all came out of the hug, before subtly wiping at your eyes. Courtney sighed before closing her trunk. “We taking all of this to your new house?”

You nod. “Yup. My next adventure begins!”

Tagged - @khonsulockley, @superficialfeelings, @othersideoftheparadise, @beezusvreeland, @itsmytimetoodream

[nanamin-nah-nanamine]

This is for the matchmaking, I'm a non-binary person in my early 20 who is extremely introverted, i struggle with social situations when I'm alone, i also struggle with depression and anxiety which makes life rather hard, i have been diagnosed with autism so when i get interested in something that tends to be my main interest for months if not a year or more. I am a very emotional person i cry at everything and anything honestly, due to being diagnosed with Autism very late in my life i have spent a lot of time masking, to make myself appear as normal as possible, so much so that i don't even know what I'm actually like normally. Even though i am a very anxious person i have a major case of Resting Bitch face, so much so that some of my friends told me they were scared of talking to me at first because they thought i look mean.

I'm a very creative person, i love expressing myself in ways that don't have anything to do with talking, i also love fashion and i usually dress in a mix of goth and comfy clothes, though comfy clothes usually overtake my need to look fancy due to major dysphoria so i usually opt for large hoodies. My hair is currently in a chin long undercut which is a kind of very light pink/purple due to the colour fading over time, i have green eyes, wear glasses and have a septum as well as tattoos. I'm also currently a major in art and Theatre, mostly focused on painting. I am a theater kid at heart, i love musicals and have acted in a few myself. I'm also Pansexual so i will literally just go for anyone I'm interested in no matter the gender.

Hi pookie! I apologize for the wait cause finals were a bitch but they’re finally DONE

Aight now lets get into this

Due to the information provided you will be matched up with…🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

My lovely chosito osito!!(ignore everything that’s happened in 259😀)

Okay now walk with me🚶🏾‍♀️

I feel like you and Choso would really vibe together for numerous reasons. Choso is an eldest sibling so he’s incredibly patient and he’s proven to be very nurturing so I feel as though it would be second nature for him to always be thinking about you and how things might affect you. I think lil homie also has anxiety so he would be able to relate to you on that level, and since so much of this world is completely new to him you guys would be able to bond over the lovely overstimulation of day to day life.

From one autistic person to another I really feel like Choso would understand a lot more than some of the other characters? Idk I just get that vibe from him. He’s very blunt and straightforward, doesn’t cut corners in his explanations and he’s also got one hell of a resting face so I feel like he wouldn’t take lack of expression personally if you’re ever feeling burnt out.

Like I mentioned prior this boy is 🗣️NURTURING

He basically had to sub in as mom,dad,brother for all of those siblings so he’s got you bby don’t worry. I feel like he can be really protective and overbearing at times though but if that crosses a like for you then you just need to let him know. He’s no stranger to tears and he has no problem scooping you up in his arms and letting you cry it out.

If you wanna yap about a new hyper fixation you better believe Choso will listen!! The world is new and exciting and even though the bright lights and media tend to give him headaches, he can’t get enough of you relaying him the information because he’s kinda obsessed with you ngl.

Y’all with be THAT alt introverted couple who everybody is kind of scared of but are actually sweethearts. Once Choso figured out about department stores and piercing parlors it’s over for you bitches.

He thinks your tattoos are so cool and he’s kinda just like fascinated by the entire process. If you ever choose to get more he would wanna go with you but he’d be holding your hand and staring at the tattoo artist like this 😠

I also feel like he would definitely respect your pronouns once he wrapped his head around them because he is just not from this era so it’ll take him a bit😭 it’s genuinely just pure ignorance and not disrespect but he WILL get the hang of it.

Activities you do together include….

•going to see musicals and live theatre(he will be enchanted or overstimulated, it’s a 50/50 on this one)

•staying inside✨(a fan favorite)

•p i e r c i n g d a t e s

•painting!! More or less so him watching you paint but it’s the thought that counts🥰

[the-tarot-witch22]

First of all a big thankyou to you for always cheering me up and making me feel confident within my work, I'm so happy to know that you liked them. And yes it is actually funny because I do get some vibes of you two having same religion/culture yet I was also receiving something about European country/london especially so I was like is it a foreigner? But same culture hmm. But anything is possible so whatever that is you deserve the best and I'm sure you'll receive it. Also your fs definitely wants the best for you and love yourself, i also feel your higher-self would love herself too and as she should!!

Here's a feedback; OMG! Just few seconds in the reading and I'm already tearing up, because please the reading if just so beautiful :)) Okay so hearing about healing and self-love and all I'm just so happy because I've been doing a lot of shadow work and self-love is something very important to me now so knowing that my higher would reach that point of life where she's receiving the fruits of her hardwork I am very emotional, "Go for it" how do I explain i words what it meant to me because I was just thinking about things in life and all, especially about my career and then I hear this. Definitely I'm someone who's still learning to trust herself and all it was a huge sign for me especially for the steps I've been wanting to take/taking. Hearing about friends made me so greatful because I've been kind of unlucky when it comes to friendships especially offline (ik it also had a reason) so that is just so beautiful. Also about luxuries and money, and my higher-self??? She's exactly what i want to be or imagine her to me omg. Yeah like f*ck it, wait last life connection came here too?? And my fs popping up in ng reading again okay this reading is all I needed I am gonna give myself a good cry. And also that's so true I'm definitely the type of even now who looks at past just to remind myself how far I've came and what they've taught me and feel greatful even for those tough moments. "I also feel pink, green (pastel) or dark shades have importance in your life" wow please i should kiss your hands rn because it resonates even with colours, like i really love pastel shades and dark shades, and i would say they do play a role since when i wear dark clothes i feel much more confident and tune within mymasculine energy and with light colours with my feminine energy and I'm sure that maybe these colours play another roles too. "felt you standing in front of mirror and admiring it" *cries again* because I do have struggled with my body since my childhood and very insecure of it because of how skinny I look, and seeing her admiring her parts made me realise a lot. And yes I am a forgiving person and I've already forgiven everyone woah please you picked on the present too!?? Also about job, and career with growth...(Just so very greatful) Literally so very greatful because that's what I've wanting to give myself and even the higher position/business definitely aligns with my goals. And coming to my intuition and the Messages just blessed!! I am definitely gonna start hearing it more and also about the mysteries it makes sense and resonates (I'm surprised) because it's just a huge confirmation to me. Also coming to education, honey it resonates again because that's one of my biggest goals. Also "thankyou for meeting me baby" my pookie baby i already love you so much you popping up in the reading again!!!? Or atleast knowing something about you, it's okay love ik we'll meet when the timing is right. 🤍🫂 Also the moodboard?? Bro it's just so beautiful energetically and the fact I do see so many angel numbers, 444 too. Okay everything literally everything RESONATES!!

How do I explain in words how greatful i feel. Love you so very much honey, i really appreciate each and every moment, really greatful that I met you. Everything has a reason and I'm it had too. Sending my warmest hugs to my sweetheart, you are amazing don't question yourself. You are moving forward and making progress and that's a really huge thing, things take time but ik we'll be okay!!

Proud of you bub. Have an amazing day ahead. Sending lots of love and blessings 🫶🏻🤍✨🧿

You sweetheart!! I love you so so much 😭🌼 you deserve the compliments and your readings work is literally so gooood!? How can I not like it! You are so sweet for giving me both readings and moodboard and they resonated so much with me, it made me so emotional and happy thank you sm, I appreciate you so much that I can't describe in words, my love yes exactly!! Its funny maybe that country has important value in both of our lives I am just so excited to meet him! I love him already! Yess, we will have everything we deserve and I am sure the universe is working our favour!! Amen 🙏

✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼

The detailed feedback?? I am so in love with it , you are so so sweet 😭 the messages I kept picking on it was like everything your higherself wants you to hear and lessen your worries and doubts, your future spouse/soulmate he really wants to give you love and confirmation that he is out there, the way lovers card flew and pop up and I was like he is too excited to show himself to you lol, and it was cute, I am happy for him and for you 😭 I am so glad you liked the moodboard I kept feeling drawn to those pictures and I know they all had something for you, to feel and hear, I am literally smiling and feeling just so emotional?? Like I am so glad for the feedback and they way our energy aligns it just made me so so happy! I am so glad your higher self has everything , she literally is the sweetest, thank you so much for letting me read for you, ilysm!

✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼

Love you more! And I am definitely sure it had a meaning and I am glad we met, thank you so much, sending love and hugs to you as well!! Yess! We both are and I know things will look up for us, I just know it. Yess everything will be~!

✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼✨️🌼

Thank you so much for this and I am proud of you too! Have an amazing day too!! Sending love and positive vibes to you tooo ! 🧿✨️🌼🎀

[billiuspendragon]

Mob Psycho 100 playlist

I made a playlist, and I'm gonna post the songs on here and explain why I chose each of them. I'm not including every single song because of the audio limit but I'll explain the ones with the most thought behind them. Inspired by this post !

this is TOTALLY Mob about Tsubomi when they were kids.

Teacher thinks that I sound funny But she likes the way you sing Tonight I'll dream, while I’m in bed When silly thoughts go through my head About the bugs and alphabet And when I wake tomorrow, I'll bet That you and I will walk together again

Especially with the mention of them walking to school together, which is what Mob daydreams about. Altogether his crush on her is very childlike and innocent since he's loved her since they were kids, and I think this song reflects that.

Lyrics: 10 Vibes: 10

This one is why I decided to make a Mob Psycho playlist in the first place. It just brings back all my feelings from getting to the end of the show.

Oh, I'll settle down with some old story About a boy who's just like me Thought there was love in everything and everyone You're so naive! They always reach a sorry ending They always get it in the end Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly and then

With a winning smile, the boy With naivety succeeds At the final moment, I cried I always cry at endings

Sorry that's such a long quote but it's so Mob I can't even. Reigen makes fun of him for being naiive but with his naiveté he succeeds!

I think it also works really well with Emi, since it talks about stories so much. She compares herself to Mob at once point too, which fits the "about a boy who's just like me" line.

Said the hero in the story "It is mightier than swords I could kill you, sure But I could only make you cry with these words

It's so him guys. His power is mightier than swords but it's his simple, honest words that usually win his battles.

Lyrics match: 8 Vibes match: 8

This song reminds me of Mob and Ritsu as kids.

And you know that I'm gonna be the one Who'll be there When you need someone to depend upon When tomorrow comes...

They're just,, always there for each other 🥹 they care about each other so much...

Also gonna share my favourite part:

Every star was shining brightly Just like a million years before And we were feeling very small Underneath the universe

It just gives me such a clear picture of them as small kids okay I just love their relationship so much aaaaa

Lyrics match: 7 Vibes match: 10

This is a brutal one to put right after the previous one, but it reminds me of Mob post-trauma.

There is no pain, you are receding A distant ship, smoke on the horizon You are only coming through in waves Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying When I was a child, I had a fever My hands felt just like two balloons Now I've got that feeling once again I can't explain, you would not understand This is not how I am

I have become comfortably numb

Because he starts shutting himself away and numbing himself so his emotions don't get the better of him.

Lyrics match: 6 Vibes match: 8

This also reminds me of Mob and Ritsu, but also post-trauma.

Love, love will tear us apart, again

Mob grows distant out of a fear of hurting Ritsu, and Ritsu becomes slightly afraid of Mob. Love really did tear them apart 😭

Lyrics match: 7 Vibes match: 9

This one represents Mob when he's beginning to lose it.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black

Lyrics match: 7 Vibes match: 6

I wasn't able to include it but I also have "Where is My Mind" by The Pixies for similar reasons.

This one gives me Reigen vibes.

You know "My celibate days are over" You put me straight on the finer points of my speech rehearsed In the mirror of my steamy bathroom Where the lino tells a sorry story in a monologue, in a monologue

I think this song is mostly about the singer himself, but the lyrics are just so specific and evocative that it gives me the mental image of Reigen in that one outro in season one you know.

The chorus reminds me of him too:

Six months on, the winter's gone The disenchanted pony Left the town with the circus boy The circus boy got lonely It's summer and it's sister song's Been written for the lonely The circus boy is feeling melancholy

Lyrics match: 6 Vibes match: 9

THIS IS SO MOB WHEN HE LOSES IT I CAN'T EXPRESS THIS ENOUGH

I'm not the killing type, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, but I would kill to make you feel! I don't mean kill someone for real! I couldn't do that, it is wrong! but I can say it in a song, a song, and I'm saying it NOW!

Like PLEASE it's so fitting, especially for when he fights Shou's dad.

Also this verse:

I once stepped on a dying bird It was a mercy killing I couldn't sleep for a week I kept feeling its breaking bones

It's. It's so him.

Lyrics match: 10 Vibes match: 8

this whole song just reminds me of Reigen. I'm so annoyed that the little excerpt that Tumblr plays is never The Right Bit but --

...and for once in you're life, you've got nothing to say, and could this be the time, when somebody will come, to say "look at yourself, you're not much use to anyone"?

I just think it fits well as someone who's very confident on the surface but deep down feels a bit pathetic and doesn't know what he's doing.

(that's like my favourite song ever btw, it's so bouncy)

Lyrics match: 9 Vibes match: 8

This one just fits with the lower-stakes parts of the show to me.

Do something pretty while you can, don't be a fool, skating a pirouette on ice is cool

I don't know man, there's just something about it.

Lyrics match: 7 Vibes match: 10

I've skipped some songs out of this because of the audio limit but here's the full playlist if anyone wants to listen to it :D I think I explained all the important ones, the others are probably there for vibes.

Oh yeah and I added "Satellite of Love" onto the end because it reminded me of the aliens lmao... I might take it off though because "We Rule the School" feels like such a good one to finish on and idk where I would put Satellite of Love to get the flow right

[marleyybluu]

Made From Love

Summary: basically Spooky is a cute, supportive, boyfriend while his girl is in labour.

Pairings:dad!Oscar x black!OC/poc!OC

Warnings: none. Just fluff and cuteness.

Word count: 2.1k

Side note: I acc have so many drafts of Oscar being a dad. I don’t know why. He’d be such a DILF tho

I’m ngl something about this pic is giving dad vibes. Like “this is my dad in the 90s”

"Puta Madre!"

Amora cussed leaning over holding her stomach, the agonizing pain shot around her tummy as she sat in the hospital bed, the same bed she'd been in for almost ten hours. She didn't know how much more she could take.

She was five centimetres dilated and she'd been at that spot since they arrived.

Oscar, her boyfriend, felt useless in the whole situation all he could do was rub her back to ease any pain even the smallest and whisper encouraging words. She was exhausted beyond belief, she felt weak, hot and cold at the same time, and her emotions were not in one spot.

"Oscar, I'm gonna fucking kill you." She whimpered leaning back on the bed.

He kissed the top of her head. "That's okay baby, I'm fine with that."

"Why did we do this?" She pouted. He made his way over to the bed sitting on the little space that was available, he held her hand in his massaging her fingers as a distraction from her pain. "Because we love each other."

She sighed. "And we need a big-headed baby to prove it?"

He chuckled shaking his head and she softly snorted at her comment. She didn't mean it, she was happy to be creating her own family, happy to finally be the parent she wish she had and she was excited about the new chapter. The way Spooky reacted to her pregnancy was what made it worth it to be honest. He was ecstatic, the two discussed family plans more so in a fantasy way but didn't know if it'd ever be a reality.

But the day Amora showed Oscar those two pink lines he made it his duty to keep her as relaxed as he possibly could. He'd taken over the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry— he wouldn't even let her carry a book much less to a pot of food. Her ridiculous cravings at five in the morning were no task to him, anything she wanted she got.

Sometimes to help her fall asleep he would just rub circles on her stomach while they watched whatever she wanted to. The mood swings weren't the easiest, crying at a commercial about potatoes one day and cussing like a sailor the next at the fact that he, quote, "breathed too much."

Oscar took her insults with a grain of salt knowing she was going through everything to have his baby and he was grateful for it. Watching the woman he loved more than anything continue to grow another version of herself for him to hold and coddle.

Amora sat up carefully swinging her legs off the bed, he came to her aid offering his hand, she took it and grabbed the stand that held her IV bag. "Can we go for a walk please?" She whined. Oscar nodded helping her one slow step at a time. He thought her waddling was the cutest causing her to develop the new nickname penguin.

She huffed and puffed making it two rooms down before she wanted to go back. Once they were back inside their own room she didn't sit down instead she rested her head on his chest while his magical hands massaged her back. "How are you feeling?" She mumbled.

"I should be asking you that instead."

She shook her head. "Answer first."

He smirked. "Is it weird that I'm nervous? Like I just hope she's okay and that she's healthy and that you're healthy. I can't wait to bring her home."

Amora hissed feeling another pain, she went over to the bed planting her palms on the sheets, her head hung as tears slipped from her eyes. Seeing this made Oscar's heart shatter, he held her as another contraction passed.

Amora felt like she zoned out too long, one minute she was rushing this baby out and now that she was on her way out she was screaming to put her back in. Beads of sweat ran down her face, she used Oscar's hand as a stress ball and he was almost certain she'd break his fingers.

"Fuuuuuuck!! I can't fucking do this put her back in it's okay!"

She threw her head back looking over at Oscar. "One more push bébé, you got it." She opened her mouth to call him every word in the book but he didn't let her say anything just planted a kiss on her lips, her soft smile quickly turning to a neutral position when she heard those glorious cries, a small human placed on her bare chest. She was here.

Oscar couldn't believe his eyes, she was right in front of them, a living and breathing creature. Just as breathtakingly beautiful as her mother. "Oh my goodness, hi princesa." Amora cooed. Oscar was speechless. He was nudged by one of the nurses who handed him small scissors nodding over to the umbilical cord that still connected mother and child. He looked over with worry on his face. His girlfriend reassured him with her eyes and he took the scissors and gently cut at the squishy tube until it separated.

He bent down to get a closer look at the tiny person. "I'm so proud of you. I love you guys." He whispered. "We love you too Papi."

And so it began, a beautiful little family forming overnight. The nurses had taken her away to run some tests, wash her down and soon they'd bring her back. Oscar cupped her face indulging in a passionate kiss, she could taste the thank yous, the appreciation, the love, the gratitude and every positive affection he had to offer.

"Mhmm," One of the nurses sounded. "Be nice if every father reacted like that. They'll be back next year."

Amora and Oscar giggled hearing her comment. "We'll definitely be back next year." He mumbled against her lips and she didn't fight it because truth be told, they probably would be.

Soon their infant was rolled in all wrapped up and cozy in the cutest pink hat. They were left alone as Oscar stood over her, she looked like a "Bean" He whispered picking her up in his arms, her tiny nose twitching and her face forming a quick smile before a pout as she slept peacefully.

The new father sat back down on the hospital bed next to the new mother, she rested her head on his shoulders and gazed at their creation, a creation of love rightfully so. "She smells so good." Oscar whispered, Amora, closed her eyes enjoying that whiff of 'newborn smell' that mom's always talked about.

A small knock at the door caught their attention as Caeser, Oscar's younger brother, poked his head in. "Mano, come in man." The door pushed open revealing her mother behind him she gasped reaching out for her loved one, embracing her in a sweet hug her mother congratulated the two on the new journey.

"Amora, she is beautiful, my goodness." She awed tapping her little nose.

Caeser hadn't said anything yet, the shock hadn't worn off yet that his brother who had been a father figure to him all his years was now officially a father and he could vouch for how great of a father he would be, better than their own by a hundred percent.

"You wanna hold her?" Oscar asked. "C-can I?"

"Yeah man, you're her Tio foo."

Oscar instructed the young man on how to hold his arms, he held his breath as the tiny thing was placed in his clutch, he didn't dare to breathe or move in an inch. "Honey, relax, you won't hurt her." Said, Amora.

"So do we have a name yet?"

The couple looked at each other and frowned, they didn't know what to name their daughter for some reason every name Amora came up with she just didn't like. "We're working on it." Oscar chuckled.

Soon Caesar excused himself to go call Monse and her mother excused herself so she could go bring her daughter some much needed food. Amora had fought long and hard to stay awake but she just couldn't do it anymore, she let go and found herself in a deep slumber, the baby in the same state laid in her tiny cushioned transparent bassinet . Oscar spread across the couch looking at the two of them.

He'd never pictured this day would come, being a rugrat in the streets for so long, hooking up with desperate hynas, school dropout, jailbird-- he had doubts he'd ever get started on a family but he was happy to have found a beautiful and understanding woman who had the patience of a priest in a confessional booth. The baby began to make noises, squirming in her little blanket. He didn't hesitate to get up and get her out, he was itching to hold her again anyway.

Oscar sat back down with her in his arms, her wonderous brown eyes staring right at him. He could cry, he did cry, a few tears slipping from him. "Hola mi Amor, como estas?" He watched those curious little eyes drink in his features. "I look scary huh? Promise I'm not. Your mommy was probably scared of me too, I don't know why she's still here. She's loca."

He gently ran his thumb over her nose. "Emilia. Emilia Diaz. You think mom will like that name? I've been saving it for a while."

Amora quietly laughed catching his attention, she looked through her droopy lids and smiled. "Why you didn't tell me you had a name for her already?"

He shrugged. "Didn't know if you'd like it."

"I love it. Bienvenido al mundo Emilia."

—- It didn't take long for six months to fly by, Emilia wasn't the tiny little person they brought home so long ago, she was clapping, she was giggling, holding her own bottle once in a while.

Amora felt like she didn't have time to register that her daughter really was growing before her eyes. They had lots of help with her, it really did take a village and she was happy to be a part of it though she wasn't sure if she wanted to raise children in this area... maybe it wasn't so bad with her group of Tio's looking out for her.

Emilia kicked around in her crib waiting for her mom to come pick her up from her nap, the light switched on and a small squeal erupted from those tiny lips. "Buenos dias mamitaaaa, helloooo." Amora cooed reaching into the crib and sitting her baby on her hip. "Let's go bother daddy." She whispered.

Oscar was outside working on his car, as usual, the hood up blocking his view. The front door closed as Amora's bare feet touched the grass, the closer she got her toes came into his peripheral view, he stood up to the surprise of his daughter who was now awake.

"Hola bonitaaa, hi my love." Emilia wasted no time abandoning her mom for her dad. Amora pouted handing her over. "I think we made mommy jealous."

"Whatever."

He tugged on her hand pulling her closer leaning down for a kiss, a small number of cheers coming from down the street. She shook her head seeing the Santos three houses down across the street hollering at them. "You better get it jefe, we want a boy too."

Oscar flipped them off and they cackled going back to their activities. "I mean, speaking of."

Amora raised her eyebrows. "You want another one already? Oscaaaar." She whined. "That's how your gonna sound when we make another one."

She punched him in his shoulder and he fake flinched. "Did you see that bean? Mommy hit me. Get her." He took the baby's hand swatting at the mother's face causing a fit of giggles to erupt resulting in her going back to her mother's arms.

Amora opened the car door sitting inside allowing Emilia to sit on her lap and grab the steering wheel. Oscar closed up the hood and grunted as he sat down on the passenger side joining them.

"Turning into an Abuelo already?"

"Make fun of me now but I'll be a sexy one."

She fake gagged. "You start getting wrinkly and I'm outta here."

He shrugged. "Easier access for the hynas."

Her jaw dropped as she pulled his big ears. He looked at her with the purest love in his eyes, she blushed looking away but he took his finger turning her back to him. "I still make you nervous huh?"

"Yea."

"Good. It's cute."

She sucked her teeth before he inched closer to her capturing her in a sweet kiss that lingered, sending electricity through her body.

"Ba!"

The two laughed at the noise Emilia made. Her little hand wrapped around his large finger and she smiled. There was truly no place he'd rather be.

If you liked this story be sure to like this story, reblogs are appreciated, comments are appreciated, and feedback is appreciated.

if you'd like to be on a taglist you can let me know on any of my posts, and my DM's be cool🤝

[casual-tarot]

Pick a Pile: Messages From Loved Ones Who Have Passed On

Pile 1

Stay strong. I know that sounds like a very cliche message, but it's so much more then that. Stay Strong! Don't give up! Keep moving forward! You can do this! We love you and we are here for you! Support is what I'm getting. Let out your angry tears, scream, cry, yell. Let out all your emotions, they want you to feel. Let yourself mourn them, don't keep it bottled up. Receive help from others. Your loved ones see you hurting and want you to seek love from those still with you. Cry into somebody's shoulder, tell someone what you've been going through, accept those helping hands. You still have people who love you and who want to help you, let them. If they knew you when you were a child or baby, they are remembering you back then. If they didn’t, they are remembering when they first met you, and those early days of your relationship. Either way, they're reliving those moments where they got to watch you grow before their very eyes. The early stages of getting to know you. It's a very fond, very bittersweet fact. We will meet again, they want me to tell you, I promise baby/my love(they may have called you by those nicknames.) I'm also getting the vibe that some parts of the group had love ones who spoke another or more then one language, and that they may be referring to you by a endearing term from their culture. (Mija/mijo comes to mind since I'm Mexican myself) Don't stop loving people. Let yourself build new relationships. Your loved ones do not want you to give up on new love, whether it be platonic or romantic. Some of you may feel like you would be replacing or betraying those who passed by loving new people. They want you to know this is not the case, and that they know you would never replace them. They want you to make new friends, fall in love again, spend more time with family. Take what resonates with you. Overall, they want you to love again, and continue loving. Never let that spark in you die, it's a beautiful thing.

Signs from them; Fire and Flames, Birds, Peacock's, Doves, the Sun and Moon, Egyptian Customs and Deities, Blue Jewels, White Rabbits, White Flowers, Fireflies, Red String, Monkey's, Big Swirling Clouds, Mountains, Rivers, Bamboo, Eagles, Deer, Hummingbird, Horses, Crows, Mountain Goat's, Fairies, Purple Jewels, Cultural Paintings, Green Jewels, Bottled Messages, Last Quarter Moon, Waxing Crescent Moon, Waning Gibbous, Sprouting Plants, Rain, Wattler Droplets, 7, 11, 2, 77, 22, 6, 4, 3, 777, 33, 44, 9, 222, 2222, 22222, 5

Think of Them When you See or Hear; Look for them in your traditions, in dances and folklore and rituals, they are there with you. Filipino Mythology, Watermelon, the Movie Mulan, String Lights and Decorations, Bowls of Liquid, Red Bridges, Disney, Marbles, Marble, Pink Hearts, Hearts in General, Chiron, Mars, Pluto, North Node of the Moon, Aries, Libra, Gemini, Aquarius, Leo, Pisces,

Pile 2

The first thing I think your loved ones want to tell you is that they are in a better place now. Somewhere bright and beautiful and happy. They want to reassure you of that very strongly for some reason, and that they will see you again one day. I think that this loss has been really really hard on you. It could have been recent, or maybe someone you were extremely close with, maybe even both. Either way I feel like this feels like one of those deep dark despair's you think you will never be able to climb out of, and I think your loved ones want you to slowly pick yourself back up. It's going to get better my dear/baby/love, I promise. Get up, please. That's what I'm hearing. They may have called you any number of endearment or nicknames. I'm hearing mom for some of you, maybe you had a child or pet that passed(mom doesn't necessarily only mean female, it could be any gendered parent or gaurdian). In any case I am so sorry for your loss, I know this must be devastating. But you loved ones are sending you so so much love. Like, it's indescribable how much love is being put out there for you. I'm imagining the ghost of them hugging you without you knowing it. Getting strong fire sign energy here, take that as you will. I think they want you to know that their death was peaceful, no matter how it happened. The passing was quiet, like sinking into a pool of water. It didn't hurt at the end, it just felt like going to sleep. I'm getting very emotional here and I think that may be because your loved one is too. I think some of them are desperate to let you know that they were, and are, ok. It's not your fault. Some of them desperately want you to know and understand that. Stop blaming yourself. Some of you are so so hard on yourself when it comes to their passing and they are desperate to tell you that they could never blame you, that none of this is your fault no matter what you think. Please believe me, they say. They want you to know how strong you are for all of this, to know you will get through this because of that strength. They also want you to spend time with friends and family, loved ones. They will help you heal. Let them know what's going on and what you feel, so go and hug them and cry into their shoulders. You are not yet alone, and you never will be either. I think that some of your loved ones need to pass on now, they won't be able to send you as many signs and won't be able to be with you all the time anymore. This doesn't mean they're leaving completely, just that they won't be around as often. You can seek them out, whether that be through tarot, candles, prayer, or even just talking out loud to them, they will still always be with you in those ways. But I think this is a way to help you move on. The less you are reminded of them in everything you see, the easier it will be to breathe, to not be suffocated in their ghost. You will take one deep breathe, and then another, and then before you know it, you are living again. And I think that's all they ever wanted for you.

Signs From Them; Peacock's, Birds, Roses, Thorns, Stars, Night Sky, Crescent Moon, The Ocean, Lakes, Ponds, Fire and Flames, Everytime a Fireplace is Lit, Hawk's, Resolved Arguments(they came in to help bring the peace), Vultures, Red and Orange Flowers, An animal receiving help, Pets getting adopted, Mountains, Elephants, Eels, Happy Families, Pets Bringing Family Happiness, Spirit Animals, The Grim Reaper, Helping Animals, The Sun, Rivers, Salmons, Dogs, Cats(some of you definitely lost Pets, I'm so sorry❤️), Rabbits, Spiders, Webs, The beauty of Space, Your Favorite Childhood Cartoons, Their Favorite Childhood Shows, Bottled Messages, Purple Jewels, Blue and Dark Blue Jewels, Violet Jewels, Paintings, Art, Objects getting Miraculously Fixed/Repaired, New Moon, First Quarter Moon, Waning Gibbous Moon, Full Moon, Rain, Drops of Water, Tools(not sure why this one is a sign for some of you but they really wanted me to say it lol), Whispers, The Wind, I heard "Whispers on the Wind," The Cold, 5, 4, 55, 6, 44, 1, 66, 7, 3, 11, 33, 2, 1111, 111, 555, 12, 1212, 77, 22, 222

Think of Them When You See or Hear; Puzzles, Hair Clips, Accessories, Disney, Rubber Bands, Mechanical Parts and Tools, Art Erasers, DW(from Arthur,) Arthur the show, Francine(from Arthur), Fantasy Weapons, Swords, Daggers, Wrenches, Mechanics, Mercury, The Sun, Saturn, Neptune, Jupiter, Chiron, Taurus(Very Important for Some of You), Aquarius, Gemini, Pisces

Pile 3

Your loved ones are so proud of you! You've accomplished great things and if you feel you haven't yet, you will! I'm imagining an old granny clapping along excitedly at her grandkids, that sort of excitement. These loved ones seem very happy and optimistic. They believe in everything you do and practically leap with joy whenever something good happens for you. Very wholesome energy tbh. I get the feeling that some of these loved ones are waiting for you before they let themselves truly pass on. They want you to be with them as they go/walk through the pearly gates, so to speak(you don't necessarily need to believe in heaven for this to resonate). They don't want you to go before your time(I'm hearing something about suicide, so that might resonate with some of you) and in all likelihood, might even send you back were you ever to have any fatal encounters. It's not your time yet so go live your life! It feels almost like a fond scolding. Maybe some of these were kind grandma's lol. They may have also been a romantic partner. Lot of familial love coming in, either they were part of your family or felt close enough to be. Some of you may have big loving families, so the overwhelming familial love makes sense. I'm getting the vibe of getting big hugs, the ones that engulf you, that your family will give you no matter what, even if you've just seen them the day before. Those hugs that are so tight and full of love that the hugger even has to make a little noise of excitement lol. I think they're giving you a lot of spiritual hugs, even if you don't feel like you need it. This is a really positive energy. Maybe you always knew that this person was meant to go in your lifetime, so it wasn't as hard as it could have been. I get the sense that a lot of you spent so much time with these loved ones, that it made their passing a little more bearable. You got to tell them everything you felt about them and got to spend time and bond with them, so much so that it felt ok, fulfilling. There wasn't anything left to say to them because you already said what you needed to when they were here. You don't have any/many regrets when it comes to them because you were always with them, and did everything you wanted with them. They think you are so creative and capable of so much, and they cannot wait to see what else you accomplish in life! If you haven't moved on yet, though I'm getting the sense that many of you have, they are asking you to let yourself. Heal from this and make beautiful things that you can let out into the world. You can make a change in this world and they desperately want to see it, so that when they see you again they can talk about all you did. I think they want me to tell you that when you do finally see each other again, you're going to get the biggest fucking hug you've ever gotten from them! Awe, that sweet. It's an aggressively loving hug haha. They love you so so much, and can't wait to see you again. But only when it's your time!

(Note: I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot in this reading, maybe they had that issue sometimes, or maybe you do. Either way it feels fond in some way, like it was a quirk you loved about each other.)

Signs From Them; A Good Night's Rest, Storms, Snow, Strong Winds, Willow Trees, True Love, Romantic Love, Love between Two People of the Same Gender, Small white flowers, Birds, Large Birds, Orange Yellow White and/or Red Feathers, Lions, Griffin's, Anansi, Webs, Snakes/Serpents, Round Bushes With Flowers on Them, Laughter, Lighthearted Jokes and Pranks, Resolved Fights/Arguments, Healing Wounds/Injuries, Blood(I'm not sure why I'm getting that for some if you but take what resonates), The Virginia Mary(Lady if Guadalupe, Blessed Virginia, Our Lady, Mother of God/Jesus), Jesus, Red Orange and/or White flowers and Roses, The Sun, Motherly Love, Parental Love, Love From a Guardian, Love to a Child, Mexican Culture, Mexican Customs and Traditions, Fertility, Fields of Flowers, Fields of Fruit Trees, Water, The Ocean, Eels, Powerful and Strong Women, The Feeling Of Ambition, Powerful or Strong Hugs, Swans, Yellow and/or Orange Skies, Birds, Peacock's, Egyptian Customs and Traditions, Birds, Hawks, Crying Women(again, not entirely sure why this one popped into my head), Rivers, Stags, Sheep, Lamb, Dogs, Seals, Eagles, Deer, Butterflies, Purple and Violet Butterflies, Blue/Green/Blue Green Flowers, Pink Flowers, Tropical Plants, Turkey Vultures, Chameleons, Pink Hearts, Pink Jewels, Blue/turquoise Jewels, Wedding Rings, Storm Clouds, Windy Clouds, Fire, Sprouting Plants, Full Moon, New Moon, Waxing Gibbous Moon, 3, 6, 5, 8, 2, 7, 66, 55, 77, 666, 1, 555, 22, 11, 33, 111, 1111, 4, 5555, 222, 88, 55555, 888

Think of Them When You See or Hear; Weddings and Marriage, Golden Cups, White Handkerchiefs, Egyptian Stories and Folklore, Blades, Swords, Shepherds, Bells, Trashy Weddings(This Feels Fond), Ignoring Mechanical Work(Also Feels Fond, like personal experiences you or they had), A Cold Beer, Hearts Jewelry, Bottle Caps, Neptune, Uranus, Venus, Mercury, North Node of the Moon, Aquarius, Aries, Scorpio, Leo, Libra, Cancer

(Note 2: I'm getting the vibe that no matter your background, your family and/or loved one was/is very religious, and put a lot of value into cultural customs and traditions, and so there's a lot of religious imagery from different cultures and a lot of customs popping up as well.)

[sashiavi]

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Kaveh's Smutty Headcannons

♡𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗♡ smutty headcannons between Kaveh and You

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 : | ¹⁸⁺ | ˢᵐᵘᵗ | ᵃᶠᵃᵇ ˢʰᵉ/ʰᵉʳ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ | ᵖʳᵃᶦˢᵉ | ᵖᵉᵗ ⁿᵃᵐᵉˢ | ᵘˢᵉ ᵒᶠ 'ᶜᵘⁿⁿʸ' ᵃˢ ᵈᵉˢᶜʳᶦᵖᵗᶦᵛᵉ ʷᵒʳᵈ |

Kaveh x Reader NSFW Headcannons Ahead!

• There is only one word that comes to mind when I think of Kaveh. Pretty. Everything about him is just so pretty, his eyes, his lips, his cock. All of him. He is so pretty and soft and I'm going to cry- ;;

• Kaveh has Major Switch Energy - Power Bottom - One moment he will be sobbing so sweetly while you ride him, bouncing in his lap, milking his pretty cock. He'll Moan into your gushy cunny, whining as you sit on his face. Whimpering "too much" like a mantra into the back of his hand as you tease and lick the pretty pink head of his dick.

• The next, he's got you face down into a pillow, teeth grazing your neck as he pounds and breeds your pussy, filling you so full with everything he has to give. His large and pretty hands squeezing your thighs pining your hips as he attacks your little clit with his tongue. The tip of his cock bullying the back of your throat, his thumb wiping any stray tears that fall from your eyes as he fucks your mouth.

"Good girl.. sweet girl."

• He is so so vocal, breathy huffs and high pitched whines. Low groans, growls and praises. He always has something to say as well, always praising you for doing such a good, good job.

"So good, so sweet for me."

"My pretty girl, taking me so so well."

"More.. more! You're too good.. so good."

• Pet. Names. He is so sweet- Darling, Pretty, Baby. All of it.

• Never one to speak down upon you or use derogatory language within the bedroom. However if you ask him, he will try his best! He always wants to spoil you and make you feel good~

• Would not punish you in the bedroom or withhold your pleasure for his own enjoyment, he isn't usually up for teasing you either. However, again, if he was asked I'm sure he will try his best for you. (he is a simp.)

• Nearly always cries, from pleasure or pain, his pretty vermilion eyes will glitter with tears. Darling Kaveh is emotional ;;

- Kaveh slowly fucks into your cunny, so gushy and warm around his cock. His lip quivers slightly, and he chokes out a soft sob, you just felt too good, so perfect around him. Kaveh babbles into your mouth between heated kisses, heartfelt confessions and desperate praises, anything he could get out.

• Would potentially have a Mommy/Daddy Kink - I'm not sure on how to elaborate on that, just based on vibes :eyes:

• Thigh. Fucking. Kaveh snuggled up behind you in bed, so so warm and comfy. He slips his pretty cock between your thighs and slowly slowly thrusts baaack and forth. He mouths at your neck and plays with your pretty pussy.

I'm-

I am in Love with him T^T

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐!

Feedback Is Always Appreciated ♡

𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙳𝚘 𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚁𝚎-𝚄𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚍 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗!

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[athena-writes-i-guess]

Can I request eddie x reader valentines vibe?

Eddie is a perfect boyfriend and planned so much for Valentine's Day (it's his first with anyone, and he's with reader so he wants it to be super perfect in every way).

But he didn't expect getting present and he's so surprise by something super cute and meaningful from reader (in romcoms boyfriends almost never getting gifts 🙄).

I want flushed, cute and moved to tears Eddie boy please 🥺🥺🥺 He deserves it so much.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

A/N: I got this yesterday and I have a few requests I’ve been working on, but this was so so cute and I wanted it to still be seasonally appropriate. I hope you really wanted blubbering Eddie cause that’s what you got haha

“Wow Eddie, baby, this is amazing!” You exclaimed as you walked into the living room of your boyfriends trailer. Eddie was standing there, bouncing on his toes with a little bashful smile as you took in the room before you. The living room that you had spent countless hours in over the past few months had been transformed into your own private indoor romantic picnic spot for your first Valentine’s Day together.

There were string lights hung from the ceiling and around the walls, giving the room a warm twinkling glow. There was a plush, soft looking, blanket laid out on the floor with delicious looking snacks and desserts spread out all around it. And the flowers, there were so many flowers, some roses that looked like Eddie went out and bought along with wildflowers that he seemed to have picked himself for you. It felt magical.

“You like it baby?” Eddie asked as he wrapped an arm around your waist and led you further inside.

“I love it Eds. It’s perfect. And so romantic. Thank you!” You gushed, your emotions raising in your chest as you felt your heart swell. To think, someone would go to all this effort for you? You had never felt so special before, so loved. You just hoped your gifts would make Eddie feel the same way you did right now.

Your boyfriend beamed as he pulled you fully into his arms, “I wanted everything to be special for our first Valentine's Day together.You are my first ever Valentine after all.” He said before peppering your face with little kisses as you flushed and giggled under the affection. “My perfect” kiss “gorgeous” kiss “sweet” kiss “and hopefully only Valentine.” He finished, flashing you a dazzling smile before placing a final tender kiss on your lips.

Your face felt hot as you both pulled away from each other with adoring smiles and flushed cheeks. “I have something for you too Eddie.” You said, somewhat anxious. Eddie’s eyebrows perked up, clearly not expecting a gift. “I’ll be right back.” You quickly rushed from the trailer and out to your car, pulling out a stuffed bear and a wrapped package. Eddie’s head tilted in surprise as he watched you walk back in with your items and you motioned for him to sit on the couch with you behind the little picnic set up.

You quickly handed him the stuffed animal, and watched as he examined the little brown bear, his thumbs rubbing lightly over the little handmade Hellfire shirt you made for it. “I named him Teddy Munson, but you can name him something else if you like.” You smiled, watching a light pink dusting come up to his cheeks.

“Teddy Munson is a good name baby, thank you.” He said, a small bashful smile on his face. He then grabbed the little cassette tape tied to the bear's paw with a curious look, flipping it over to see “Loving Eddie Munson” scrawled in your cute handwriting with little red hearts drawn all around. The light blush on his cheeks deepened as he read that, the small smile growing with it.

You quickly handed him the wrapped present before talking about the tape, wanting to wait before you explained it. “I was able to snag this for you too.” You explained with an excited smile.

Eddie quickly tore away the paper before freezing as he realized what was in his hands. “Baby?” He blinked quickly before looking up at you, “Is this a signed Dio album?” He asked in surprise.

You nodded with a big smile, “They were having a radio contest when I was in Indianapolis a couple months ago and I just knew I had to try to win for you.”

“Holy shit.” He gasped out, touching the album cover tentatively like he was afraid that he would damage it.

“I had to answer all these questions about the album and Dio’s career and thanks to everything you told me I was able to win! So really you’re the reason I was able to win.” You giggled, “And the tape here” You pointed to the cassette still attached to the bear. “It has all the songs that make me think of you and I recorded the reasons why on there too.” You flushed, “I- uh- even taught myself my favorite one on guitar since you’ve been helping me learn, and I recorded it for you on there. I hope you like it.” You finished quickly, looking up at Eddie.

Eddie stared, shell shocked, at the items in front of him. He couldn’t believe that anyone would go through all this effort for him. Eddie would do anything for the people he loved, absolutely anything, but couldn’t imagine someone doing the same thing for him. “I love-” He started, his voice breaking as his emotions welled up and tightened his throat. “I-“ He tried again, suddenly feeling prickling behind his eyes as they started welling up. “Fuck.” He chuckled out as the tears broke free and fell down his cheeks.

“Oh baby, is this good crying? Bad?” You asked quickly, cupping the metalhead cheeks gently and wiping the tears away as they fell.

“It’s good. So good.” He blubbered out, fully letting himself feel his feelings. “I’ve never- no one’s ever- this was perfect.” He said, carefully pulling your hands away from him so he could crash his lips on yours with wet, grateful kisses. He pulled back after a moment, wiping the tears from his face with a disbelieving chuckle. “I can’t believe you got me crying like a baby right now sweetheart.” Your stomach flipped as he turned to you, looking at you like you hung his moon and stars. “Thank you so much baby, this means the world to me. You mean the world to me.” He said, grabbing your hand and kissing it gently. “I don’t know how either of us are going to top this next year.” He joked, kissing your cheek as you giggled.

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you 💕

Taglist: @srapalestina @yvonneeeee @aroseinvelaris @anaisweird @mrslovesmayahawke @harrys-tittie @becca-alexa @catacina

[1nternetjester]

f(x) - 미행 (그림자: Shadow)

I have been repeatedly listening to f(x)'s "Shadow" from their second studio album "Pink Tape" and I felt that it left a huge impact on me seeing that I would scavenge for crumbs to find content about this song. May it be visualizers, meanings, interviews, or any media that depicts the vibe. Coincidentally, I found their album art film dedicated to their Pink Tape album. 

It starts with a narration by who seems to be Krystal, she talks about love and how we would be in the delusion of hopes that the feeling would last forever. However, in reality, it isn't meant to last. Yet once we come into feelings of affection we hope for it to go on forever even if we are aware of the reality that it would end eventually. Which results in making us feel emotions such as "lunacy", "fear", and "panic". 

As this narration ends, the song starts playing with clips of the girls doing random things or filmed interacting with geometric shapes and random objects. The girls seem to be portrayed as youthful and oblivious as seen in their actions and facial expressions.

The lyrics portray the girls being the shadow of their owner and falling in love with their humans. They fall deeper in love as they follow their owners as they are the shadow beings of the humans that they're with. They sing about secretly loving them as they only get to follow behind their steps and watch them over. It's a secretive love, they're secretly in love with their owners. 

"When the sun rises, together with you I walk in sync I am really really into you When the moon rises, in my arms You fall asleep I really really like you"

However, if I were to consider the eerie yet sweet chimes and bells that give off the imagery of a pure love that a young girl is experiencing that they have to keep a secret, it is more than a "shadow" falling in love with its owner. With both factors combined, I believe I can perceive the girls playing as characters that are sweet, alluring, and pure yet they could get so creepy by following the person they love without the other person knowing that they're constantly being followed and watched. These girls are dreamy. They have the element of being magical, as it isn't realistically possible to be someone's shadow. But this alludes that they are increasingly more obsessed with their person as they fall into insanity. 

"The person in the mirror Is smiling with you, I don’t know Underneath your feet Without an expression, I hide behind you"

Bringing it all together, I can see that the dream-like imagery the art film has goes along with the storyline that the sound and lyrics depict. I believe that the narration was what set the overall imagery of the media itself. She realistically talks about how love feels like for a girl who feels pure emotions for the person they like, at the same time also about how they're constantly following the said person just like a shadow. 

"Every day, I secretly chase after your footsteps I’m always careful so you won’t notice No one says it but our date has started Our own date Where are you going? Step by step, I follow you Without a word, you lead me Step by step, did you notice me? I have nowhere to hide"

There is nothing more creepy yet adorable about a girl in love. People can get obsessive which can fall into the wrong way yet it still can be portrayed nicely as it can be categorized as being sweet, lovely, or endearing due to the image of a girl being in love, they are seen as harmless. 

"Where are you going? Step by step, I follow you Without a word, you lead me Step by step, will you notice me? I don’t want to hide"

Overall, I am absolutely in love in this song and the art album that was released for the Pink Tape album.

"Day by day, we resemble each other more and more Your laughter and tears, I know it all Don’t be scared, we’re a fate tied by the sun It’s our destiny to be together"

-love, internet jester.

[artements]

13, 17, 35, 45, 59, 77 for the writer asks, please!!

13- Writing as a study method sent me down a life-changing rabbit hole that has me rethinking some of what I want to do later on.

17- It's a tie between

1. "You will die a living man, and a living man will resurrect you for his own ends."

2. "But she loves him, or she feels something like it, something that tears through her chest like a knife and rips her open and makes her want to give everything for his sake, no matter if there’s a return. It turns the tap and moves her hands and wrings out a shirt until the water runs clear, and the only trace of abuse is a pale pink stain."

3. "Once he'd nearly lovingly patted him out the window, like the world's most fatherly volleyball player."

35- Violet Bridgerton. She's a very head in the clouds character, but I can't help liking her because of how much care she pours into her children. She's misguided, and there's no attempt to pretend she isn't. There's just her why, and her why is enough to begin the path to absolvence.

45- @risaimitchel @accidentallylita and @starcrier

59- I have definitely missed the train because of fic before, so I'll say the station/ bus stop.

77- I just go with whatever the vibes are. I am usually a slow burn writer, so these tend to be more climactic scenes overall. I put a lot of time into how I want them to go and try to make sure the value is primarily emotional.