#these next few weeks are going to be hectic for me (school ending) so i feel like im probably gona skip episodes/do simple stuff like this

[spikrock]

who do you think taught babe ruth how to hit a baseball???

[bratbby333]

choso kamo — the boy next door

synopsis you were completely oblivious to his inner turmoil. but choso liked it that way. cw nsfw, stalking, somnophilia, voyeurism, overstimulation, dirty talk, cream pie wc 4.1k

author note i received three separate requests for pervy!choso, dom!choso, and boynextdoor!choso so i decided to combine them into one story to celebrate hitting 250 followers! eeek i love y'all so much, i hope this scratches the right itch in y'alls brains ♡ proofread and edited up by my favorite person in the known cosmos: @remlionheart *+:｡.｡ thank you for pushing me to finish this

Choso was a constant fixture in your life. For as long as you could remember, it was always you and him. His house neighbored yours and your families had become close over the past fifteen years. Your childhoods were intertwined, filled with joint pool parties, barbecues, and movie nights. The two of you even shared a babysitter when your parents would go out on double dates. You carpooled to school, played in the cul-de-sac until the streetlamps came on, snuck through each other's windows when your parents thought you were sleeping; inseparable. You guys even ended up at the same university after graduating high school. You were finally home for the summer and you couldn’t wait to spend time with your best friend, uninterrupted by the hecticness of college.

A brisk knock resonated through your home, the door answered by your mother. 

“Hey! It’s so nice to see you again,” Choso grinned, nodding gently as he stepped into your foyer. You perked up at the sound of his voice echoing through your house. It was difficult to see one another as much as you had wanted this semester; you both explored different hobbies and found separate friend groups while in college, but you always made sure to find the time. You hadn’t seen him in a few weeks, though; the stress of final exams kept the two of you apart. It had been far too long.

“How have you been, honey? How was your semester?” your mother chirped as she engulfed him in a quick embrace. The two of them shared genial words as they caught up with one another. They continued to chat before being interrupted by the heavy sounds of your excited feet thumping down the staircase. He turned to greet you, only to be entrapped in a bearhug, the momentum pushed his body into the wall behind him.

“Choso! Missed you so much,” you squealed, voice muffled as you buried your face into his chest. You breathed him in, the familiar scent of his cologne dancing through your nose. His cheek found the top of your head as his warm hands rubbed gentle circles into your back, rocking you side to side. Your mother smiled with adoration at the two of you. He squeezed you tight before he pulled away, peering down at you. You noticed a light dusting of pink that surfaced on his skin as you looked up at him, but chalked it up to the sweltered heat of summertime.

“I missed you too, sweetheart,” he replied before returning his gaze to your mother while still holding on to you. ”Exams were tough but I’m happy that it’s finally over,” he added.

His attention fell back to you as his hands rubbed against your arms, “But, I’m all yours for the summer!”

*ੈ ✩‧₊˚

You sat next to him on the floor, backs pressed against the foot of your bed. The two of you shared a pizza as a silly rom-com played on your TV. You took turns catching up on each other’s lives while the film faded into background noise. You felt renewed in his presence, the youthful glow of his features reminded you of how he was when he was younger. But your chest began to ache as you thought about how the time you spent with one another would become harder and harder to come by. The conversation lulled a bit, and you willed yourself to voice your concerns to Choso.

“Sometimes I wish we could go back to how things were,” you blurted, hands fidgeting with the pizza box. Choso quirked his eyebrow at the statement. You met his gaze, smiling softly, bringing your knees to your chest. You sighed deeply. Being away from him hurt more than you thought it would, and you never recognized how much you needed him until you saw less of him.

“I miss being a kid…I miss the way we were,” you continued, “Not a single care in the world. I feel like the older we get, the less we’ll see each other. I don’t want that, Cho,” you mumbled, reextending your legs. His heart thrummed at your earnest confession as he leaned forward and captured your hand in his.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere…I can promise you that, sweetheart,” he reassured, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand. 

The conversation quieted, his words of consolation seemed to ease your mind enough for you to fixate on the screen. He watched you through his peripherals as you giggled at the corniness of the movie. Choso tried his hardest to follow along, but there you were, sat before him in a thin tank top and skimpy pajama shorts. He sent a silent “thank you” to the heavens; the record-high heatwave that plagued your city gifted him such a magnificent sight.

He side-eyed you, his vision tracing along your body. He took another bite of his pizza as he drank you in; dinner and a show. His vision followed every dip and curve of your almost fully exposed legs. He was thankful that you felt comfortable enough around him to dress how you pleased, but his dark heart wished you were sitting in just a thong, or better yet, fully nude. His eyes meandered north, hovering over the peaks of cleavage that your shirt didn’t cover. He swallowed thickly, nearly choking on his food when another giggle erupted from you, your breasts bouncing as you laughed.

He smiled inwardly, your fear of losing him warmed his heart. He wasn’t going anywhere. How else would he be able to see you like this; all nostalgic for him, the desperate expression on your face sent waves of arousal through his veins. His desire to know how you’d look splayed out underneath him rocketed through his body as he envisioned your fucked out face when he feathered hot, wet kisses along your neck and plunged two thick fingers deep inside you…how pretty you’d look just for him. What sounds would you make when his throbbing cock was fully enveloped in your gushy walls? Would you whimper and whine? Would you cry out for him? Rake your nails down his torso with your eyes blown wide? He so badly craved the answers to his searing questions.

Your laughter panged through his chest, snapping him out of his trance. You were completely oblivious to his inner turmoil. But he liked it that way. You continued to sit so good for him, eyes casted toward the TV. If only you knew the innocent relationship you had manifested in that sweet little mind of yours was one-sided. For him, it was dirty–downright filthy and sinful. But you would never know that.

Blood rushed between his legs as he shifted on the floor. The movie had about twenty minutes left; he was trying to hold out until then. He was desperate for release, anxiously anticipating the thick load he would shoot out at the thought of you, though he would pretend that it was going inside of you, instead. Oh, how he wanted to breed you. How soft you’d look carrying his spawn. He shook his head as he cleared his throat, single handedly fighting off every demon known to man that was telling him to pounce on you. He couldn’t. It would ruin the close friendship that took years to curate. It would kick him off the pedestal you placed him so highly on, tarnish the clean-cut version of him in your parent’s mind. He battled with his own thoughts as he mindlessly stared at the TV. 

The end credits rolled and Choso stood abruptly.

“I’ll catch you tomorrow, okay? Gotta get some sleep,” he said, readjusting his pants. You looked up at him, confusion evident on your pretty face.

“I thought you were spending the night,” you pouted, before pushing yourself off the ground.

“I know…I’m sorry, sweetheart. But knowing us, we’d stay up all night watching TV and talking instead of actually sleeping,” he played off. The ache between his legs intensified at the thought of sharing a bed with you like you usually did when he slept over. But he can’t. Not tonight…not like this. Normally he was good about keeping his composure, but tonight was different. Your puppy dog eyes didn’t help, either. He so badly wanted to see those same eyes gaze up at him while his cock was shoved down your throat. His dick pulsated against the soft fabric of his shorts as he shadowed you toward your bedroom door, taking an internal note of how good your ass looked as your shorts rode up between your plush cheeks. He nearly lost it as you skipped down the stairs, your precious mounds bouncing in all the right places. You opened the front door for him, spreading your arms to hug him goodbye. He opted for a side hug, knowing damn well you would have been able to feel his hard on from the full-frontal contact. 

*ੈ ✩‧₊˚

You closed the door, pressing your back against it as you wondered what had gotten into Choso this evening. He was always up for a sleepover. You shoved your hurt down, embarrassed by your apparent clinginess. A shudder ran down your spine at the thought of your neediness pushing him away. Your warm body glided toward the fridge, throwing it open and basking in the cool air as you grabbed yourself a drink. You shook the shame from your mind as you shuffled back up the stairs. You peered out your window and into Choso's room; it was dark. He must’ve gone straight to bed. You opened the bay windows to your bedroom. The cool air danced through the panes, swirling around the confines of your dwelling. You inhaled deeply before stripping down, settling peacefully atop your sheets; it was far too warm to be under the covers.  

Choso surveyed you from the comforting shadows of his room. He did this frequently before the two of you had moved away, watching you get ready for bed with a firm grip on his shaft. 

“That’s it, pretty…take it all off f’me,” he muttered. His strokes sped up as he watched you undress, the moonlight that seeped into your room illuminated your heavenly body so perfectly. He huffed as he watched you retreat to your bed, his hand stilling around his cock. The thought of you wasn’t enough for him tonight. He needed you.

An hour or so passed before he ascended the tree that stood tall next to your window. His clammy hands gripped the railings that lined your small terrace as he heaved his body over, careful not to make a sound. He had done this many times before, whether his presence was expected or unbeknownst to you. He crept through the open window and entered your room, settling himself in the chair next to your bed. Your nude frame emanated the most ethereal energy, your bare chest rose and fell rhythmically, the soft gasps that fluttered from your parted lips sent blood straight to Choso’s groin. He palmed himself through his pants, leaning back a bit to shove them down his legs. His hand paced up and down his length agonizingly slow, before he stopped dead in his tracks as soft groans emerged from your throat.

“-oso,” was all that was audible. His blood ran cold as he leaned closer to your slumbered body, ears ringing in hopes to hear more. Was that–No…it couldn’t have been. You shifted a bit, another moan breaking through the silence of your room.

“Mmm…Choso,” you whimpered dreamily, one hand moving to rest just under your navel. His heart rate spiked. He watched as your hand traced lower, snaking its way to your precious cunt. You rubbed sleepy circles in your clit as your head lulled to the side, soft, sweet whimpers dancing from your parted lips. It was now or never. He pulled his shorts back up as he situated himself on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hand against your shoulder. 

You stirred a bit after a few gentle shakes of your body, your eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness of the room. Your body went rigid as your eyes focused on the outline of a person sitting before you, but the familiar smell of Choso met your nose and kept you from jumping out of your skin. You closed your eyes again, the hand that was playing with your wet cunt moved over your body to grab his hand, squeezing gently. Choso nearly broke down at the contact, the stickiness that he so badly needed graced his skin, numbing his brain. 

“Hey, Cho…y’scared me. Thought you weren’t sleeping over,” you murmured. Choso’s conscious worked overtime to keep his composure leveled as he exhaled deeply. 

“Seems like you needed me, though,” he chuckled. You hummed in response, your sleep-ridden mind not registering his comment. You began to doze off once again before panic rumbled through your body as you finally recollected the dream you were just immersed in. Then the realization hit. You shot upright, tearing your hand away from Choso as you grabbed for the covers, attempting to shield your naked body from him. You clicked on your bedside lamp, turning to Choso with your brows furrowed deeply. Your best friend just caught you in the middle of a wet dream. A dream about him. Embarrassment coupled with shame as you held the sheets tight against your body. You were thoroughly confused–what was he even doing here? How much did he hear? You wanted to protest, to plead your case, to interrogate him. A million questions buzzed around your brain, but his hand was quick to cover your mouth. 

“S’okay, sweetheart. It’s just me,” he soothed. He kicked his shoes off and kneeled beside you, hand still firm against your face. Your shoulders were tense, but you relaxed a bit at the baritone voice that fell from his lips.

“Did you have a nice dream?” His question seemed rhetorical. He felt your face flush underneath his palm as you nodded slowly. He removed his hand and you spoke up immediately.

“How’d you know I–”

“Was watching you sleep,” he shrugged. “I’ve wanted you for so long…figured it was a lost cause. But it seems the feelings are mutual, huh, sweetheart?” he cooed, his body loomed over yours as his palm brushed your face, cradling your cheek.

“You were tryin’ so hard to fight it…to pretend those dirty feelings for me didn’t exist…isn’t that right?” He mused. You glanced down at his crotch, the heavy bulge pressed firm against his thin shorts. You audibly gulped, your breath caught in your throat before meeting his eyes. You nodded at him again.

“Bet you dressed like that on purpose…such a tease,” he chastised, thumbing your cheek.

“Gotta make up for lost time, yeah?” He ripped the duvet off of you and moved so he was hovering over you, your body laid out underneath him, his arms placed on either side of your head. 

“Cho…I—we shouldn’t,” your voice wavered, suddenly unsure if you were trying to convince him or yourself. Your hands rested on his broad shoulders. “I don’t wanna lose you…don’t wanna ruin what we have,” you added, worry painted across your face, eyes fluttering back and forth between his. You were splayed out beneath him, fully nude, every dark secret of yours laid out in front of Choso. The hungry look in his eyes caused your arousal to drip onto the sheets beneath you. 

“Wanted this for years, pretty girl. I already told you I’m not goin’ anywhere,'' his head dipped down to lick a thick stripe down your neck. “You gonna let me take care of you now?” he questioned, lips pressed against your flesh, nipping at the sensitive skin. Your back arched immediately at the sensation. You moaned softly in response as you ran your hands up and down his toned back. 

“Tell me, pretty girl,” his fingers danced down your body, teasing the skin around your core. “Tell me you want me as much as I’ve wanted you,” he whispered in your ear. 

“W-want you…Cho. So bad…needed you for s-so long,” you begged, your brain fogged and voice airy while your hands clawed desperately at his back. He smirked at you as he sat back on his heels, tearing his clothes from his body. Your eyes dragged up and down the man you had grown up with. A part of you knew how you felt about him, knew how much you needed him. But you didn’t understand the full depth of that need until he was kneeled before you, perspiration glistening along his toned body as he repositioned, laying himself along the bed, his face settled right above your dripping cunt. The way he looked at you through his luscious, jet-black lashes set your pounding heart ablaze. 

You couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening. All you could feel were the sharp aches in your core as he teasingly ran his fingers through your slit. He smiled against your thigh as he plunged his fingers in immediately. You gasped at the intrusion before succumbing to the pleasure as the pads of his fingers massaged your sweet spot.

There was a sense of urgency behind his movements; the lack of time he gave you to adjust to the stretch, the way he was thrusting so fervently into you and how hungrily he bit at your flesh–it was overwhelming. He pumped into you, tirelessly working to coax an orgasm out of you. The first of many. He tilted his head down to watch his fingers disappear inside of you. He used his other hand to rub your sensitive clit, before quickly replacing it with his tongue. He wanted to drink you in for as long as he could, your juices satiating the hungriest part of him.  

His eyes blew wide, “Fuck–you’re so sweet, pretty girl,” he breathed, lapping at your core. He needed more, needed you to fall apart on all of him–his fingers, his mouth, his cock. You were going to take everything he gave you. You cried out for him, your hips spasming against the bed. He grinned before latching back on to your clit, sucking harshly, working into you like it was his life’s mission to please you. And in his mind, it was. He was set on releasing a decade’s worth of pent-up frustration on your pretty little body.

“F-fuck Cho–ah!–I’m gonna…” your voice trailed off as your pussy clenched down on his fingers. He groaned at the tightness, tongue still swirling around your sensitive bud. A shudder ran down your spine as your orgasm ripped through your body. He continued to pump into you, suckling harshly against your clit before swirling around your entrance to ensure he drank up every drop. 

He knew he should wait and give you time to recover. But the way your body twitched and writhed for him ripped away the sense of gentleness and morality that he usually had. It was all too much. He wanted to ruin you, to punish you for holding out on him for so long. He needed to be balls deep, needed to mold you around his cock–he had waited years for this. He sat up abruptly, wrapping your shaking legs around his waist as he lined himself up with your soaked entrance. Your chest heaved and your eyelids grew heavy while your body worked through the comedown. He pushed into you, fully sheathing himself inside your pulsating walls. Your eyes widened while your hands pushed against his abdomen. 

“Wait, Cho–”

“S’okay, sweet girl. I got you…focus on me,” he soothed, his pelvis flush against you as he took a hold of your wrists, pushing them over your head and pressing them against the headboard. He found an unrelenting tempo in you. You body spasmed and squirmed at his pace, jolting each time his thick cock brushed against your still sensitive g-spot. He was stuffed so deep inside of you, savoring the way your messy pussy sucked him in. He released your hands and leaned back, finding his bearings on your hip bones, pulling you toward him to meet his thrusts. Grunts rumbled from deep in his chest as he felt you clench around him. He looked down to watch himself disappear inside you, the squelching sounds and labored moans that filled the room made him choke.

“Nasty fuckin’ girl…you’re lovin’ this aren’t ya?” he teased. You couldn’t fathom a response. Your body had passed the point of overstimulation as his brutal pace pulled another earth-shattering orgasm from your wrecked body, painting his abdomen with your squirt. He dropped his head back, animalistic sounds flying past his lips as the warm spray splattered onto his skin. He pulled out of you before shoving right back in. You cried out, body trying to squirm out of grasp.

“C-can’t…s’too much,” you sobbed out. You meant it, it was too much. But the pleasure that clawed its way through your trembling frame was unreal; addictive, even. He simultaneously numbed your body and made you feel every sensation in the known universe. 

“Uh uh…almost done, pretty–stay right there,” he growled, “Just give me one more.” He wanted to live in this moment forever. Every stolen glance, dirty thought, and shameful ejaculation to the thought of you was nothing compared to the way your pretty little pussy clenched around him. He had ached over the mere thought of you for years and his body brimmed with arousal at his darkest dreams coming to fruition. And though he wanted to paint your sloppy walls with his thick seed, the wanton desire for you overpowered his need for release.

Your eyes rolled back in your skull as your shaking hands searched for any part of him to hold on to. You were a panting mess, fat tears running down your face. And it was all for him. He was drunk on the way your fucked out face lazily looked up at him as you fell apart on his cock. He made quick work of burning that image on the inside of his eyelids.

“Doin’ so good. Stay with me, sweetheart,” he grunted, his hips slamming into you. It was so sloppy now…so nasty. He fucked into you with feverish passion, and your body shook as the coils in your tummy crept up once again. 

“C’mon…just one more. Know you can do it,” he urged, his aching cock absolutely obliterating you. His fingertips gripped your flesh so tightly, he prayed it would bruise. He hoped his mark would be left on you, an aching reminder that you belonged to him. You always had. He fucked into you, his tip kissing your cervix so perfectly. You cried out, clenching down on him again, your third orgasm crashing through you in a blinding haze. 

“S-shit…so good. God–you’re fuckin’ milking me,” he growled out as he twitched inside, swears and praises cascaded from his parted lips as he chased his own release. It only took a few more thrusts before his hips stuttered against you and he finished deep inside, pumping you full of his cum. He remained sheathed within your walls, his palms running up and down your dazed out frame.

He leaned down, catching your lips in a needy, wet kiss. You were stunned into silence, your body cemented to the bed, convinced that you had lucidly dreamed this entire ordeal. You winced at the ache of Choso finally pulling out, missing the deep stretch of his cock as he leaned over to scour your drawers for a rag to clean you up. He feathered gentle kisses after each pass of the cloth. He laid by your side and you curled into him immediately, his arms snaking around your fragile body. 

“I can’t believe that just happened,” you whispered, breath shaking. He smiled before kissing the top of your head. “But I’m so happy it did,” you added, pressing yourself deeper into his side as his fingers brushed along your skin, soothing you toward a deep, satisfying slumber. Choso reveled in the dream-like trance he found himself in. His heart soared at his achievement that was years in the making, his body crossing the line that divided reality with heaven. He finally got you, and he was never, ever letting you go.

*ੈ ✩‧₊˚

author notes: thank you so so so much for 250 followers...i literally cannot believe it. if i could remove a piece of my heart and send it to y'all i would

my inbox is open and i'm always working thru my requests, feel free to send your suggestions here ☾

every like, comment, and reblog makes me sob uncontrollably...your support means the world to me xx

© bratbby333 on tumblr. all rights reserved. please do not distribute. 2024.

[stxrvel]

injustice (3)

series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! a lot of curse words, a lot of self-deprecation and low self esteem. no proofread. this is nawt silly writing, we're diving right into the aNgSt. jumpscare? iykyk a/n. hi guys! this was a rollercoaster for me to write, but i hope it doesn't come as harsh as i think it is. pls let me know what you think in the comments!! see you next week!!

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You had gone through a scenario like that in your head several times. A variety of moments, conversations and looks that always ended in the same unpleasant, inevitable and demoralizing way: you were forgotten by the people you loved most in the world. Only when you reached 18 would you realize how heartbreaking the dull thud of the silence of indifference was, how sharp and icy the loneliness was, how it penetrated and paralyzed your bones; but at that time, at 16, you could still convince yourself that all those things were only in your head and would always be there.

“Now that you're the last to go, you guys are much more likely to forget about me.”

“Of course not! In fact, as soon as I start earning money I'll save up to take you with us.”

Jungkook shook his head, his narrowed eyes judging you as if having insecurities was a sin. You believed his words at that moment, because being the last one still with you, 'cause you were going to graduate from school in the same year, it was the only thing you could do. Hold on to the idea that you really weren't going to be forgotten, because the mere conception of a future without your best friends was inconceivable.

“Jimin-hyung said he was going to try to call more often,” your friend went on, his eyes fixed on the bass on his lap and his important task of leaving it neat before returning it to its holy post in the school's music room. “I haven't talked to them in about three days.”

Jimin and Taehyung had left just a couple of months ago, but thanks to the opportunities opened to them with their incredible willingness, discipline and some string twitching on Namjoon's part, they had managed to get into a great academy to train and fulfill their dreams.

That also brought with it, as irreversible side effects, that your communication with them was drastically reduced. You had to constantly remind yourself and Jungkook that it was out of their control. With their future at stake, there was something for which they had to exert extreme effort and for which to sacrifice some other things.

“It's normal that they don't have as much time as they used to, Kookie.” You lowered your head, noticing the way his hands delicately handled the instrument on his legs. Since Jimin and Taehyung had left there was no time of day when you could tear yourself away from Jungkook, which is why you accompanied him to his extracurricular music lessons when you really should have been studying for the college entrance exam. “Life after school gets really hectic.”

“I've heard that college life is quieter.” Jungkook twisted his lips, wiping between the strings and his fingerprints left on the bass every time he moved it back and forth to clean it. It was an almost irresistible cycle.

“The only one at college right now is Seokjin and even about him we haven't heard much.” You leaned back against the piano, noticing Jungkook's movements pause for a moment as he surely reminisced about the few times he had been able to talk to Jin that month.

It had been two years since Seokjin had graduated and traveled all the way to the capital to study medicine. Needless to say, it was more than clear that communication with Jin would be almost nil from then on, but Jungkook always used to pout about it.

“It's just that Jin-hyung also chose a rather demanding career.” Jungkook twisted his lips, as if suppressing Jin in his head, waving the microfiber towel over the edges of the bass.

“And the others are trying too hard to carve their way through. It can be as complicated as going out to look for a job right after graduating.”

Jungkook nodded, admiring his cleaning job with a frown. He looked so focused that it caught you by surprise when he spoke again.

“You already know if you're going to college, noona? We're graduating this year.”

You blinked once, twice, three times. His nonchalant self went back to waving the towel over nonexistent smudges as you breathed in and decided not to go that route. “Will you?”

Jungkook raised his head, pausing his movements for a moment to try to analyze your gaze. With a sigh, he let out your poorly disguised way of shifting the focus of the conversation to get up and hang the instrument, glowing, on the wall of the music room.

“I don't know yet… Namjoon-hyung says he can help me.”

“Isn't it your dream, why do you doubt it?”

“I'm not sure, noona. What if I don't measure up? What if I fail?”

When your friend turned away, the mirror to his soul showed his vulnerability dancing on the edge of his eyelids. His distrust constricted your heart, a hand closing around your throat at the inner conflicts you knew Jungkook used to have and in the face of which you often couldn't do anything about because he didn't usually share such things.

“Then you try again.”

“Noona…” Jungkook wanted to grumble, it was obvious from the way his eyes moved to the ceiling, his head cocking as if he was about to give you a big life lesson on why you can't survive on motivational phrases.

But Jungkook was a softie about such things, even if he tried to hide it.

“Jungkook, you are literally a golden promise. No process is ever easy, especially in the industry you want to get into, but don't think for a second that you're going to outgrow it. You're one of the most capable people I've ever met.”

Your friend stopped his steps, when after hanging up the bass he was returning to your post in front of you, raising his head as if caught committing a prank. But the vulnerability in his eyes remained, and by the way they shone in the dim light of the room, still blinking to try to contain the emotion, you knew your words had tugged at just that thorn in his heart you were trying to pull out.

“Thank you, noona.”

“I'm just telling the truth.” You lifted a shoulder, shaking your head nonchalantly like it was no big deal, and Jungkook just let out an amused chuckle.

“You do know we'd never forget about you, right? How could we?”

-

“How could we?”

Yuna shook her head, frowning at her phone, oblivious to the way you cringed at her choice of words.

“She's bringing celebrities into the store and she want us to leave? Don't we work so well that we always take the top employee of the month spot even though it should only be held by one person? Don't we deserve that gift?”

You watched her, marveling at how after just a few seconds so many emotions could build up into an overwhelming knot in your chest. The old notes of an old piano played in the back of your head, bringing to the surface memories of when life was easier; when you thought you had it all and nothing would ever be better than that; when you thought you were enough.

“So what do you plan to do about it?” you blinked, focusing on the notation of bills in your notebook with an invisible hand squeezing your heart.

There was no use thinking about such things after so long.

Yuna pursed her lips, her expression serious and forceful. “I think we should have a sit-in.”

“We should? That sounds like more than one person.”

“Do you disagree with me?”

“I'm happy with going home early, especially on a Friday, you know?”

“y/n,” Yuna came up to your face over the cash register display case, her forearms resting on the glass and her eyes so bright with determination you were sure her head could light the whole store on fire the way she was scheming and scheming, running around like her life depended on it, “we could be close to meeting the seven gods of Olympus, and you think the best thing to do is go home?”

“Just in case you forgot, I have a business to run now.” You reminded her, moving to poke her with your middle finger all over her forehead and push her away from the cash register now that a new customer had come in.

“What business should a business matter when you could meet the reason for existence itself?”

Yuna dropped onto the display case, her body sliding like jelly until only her head was left on the glass. You and the new customer watched her, her arms limp at her sides and her gaze lost. A lone tear running down the bridge of her nose.

“God, you're so dramatic.”

“Does that mean yes?” Her head snapped up like a spring, a big smile scaring the soul out of the customer who ducked behind your friend to run for their order.

“No and stop acting like that, you're going to scare away customers.”

Yuna whined, her exaggerated tantrum leading you to wiggle your feet all the way to the cellar.

“I'm offering you the holy grail, and this is how you pay me?”

The sound of her feet shuffling behind you kept your head sane. Even though his insinuations were baseless, your heart was pounding so hard you felt your ribs throbbing through your muscles and skin.

Your boss had written to Yuna that you two could leave the store early today because she had a private meeting to attend. She asked them to leave everything to Patrick, including clearing the store of customers and not to worry about paying for the shift, because there would be no discount at the end of the month. Yuna was faithfully and blindly convinced that your boss really wanted you to stay, because she spent almost ten minutes with her eyes glued to the screen almost without blinking, watching the 'typing…' appear and disappear under your boss's contact name. 'I'm sure she's debating how much confidence she has in us…', she said as her red eyes missed no detail of that important chat and that primordial moment, ending in an offended 'none!' when her last message came through.

In the same way, Yuna convinced herself that the meeting that would take place in the same place where your feet were planted was going to be attended by the seven entertainment kings of the country. The unmentionables, for all practical purposes. Where had she come to that conclusion? There was no foundation. Had your boss given any hints? None. Yuna had her head in the clouds believing she could meet her idols if she insisted a little longer.

“Would you really prefer to stand your friend up to meet seven men you don't even know for sure will show up here?”

“Well…if you put it that way it sounds like I'm doing something wrong.”

“Mmm, you just figured that out?”

Yuna dropped her shoulders as you took off your apron. Her tactics weren't going to work and it was time to give up. She half-heartedly opened her locker and stood looking at you with puppy dog eyes. You felt as guilty as if you had stepped on her tail by accident.

“Look, if I'm being honest, I doubt gigantically that Sol will tell you that you can stay if you ask her.”

“Not even for everything we've been through together?”

“She's still our boss, Yuna.”

Your friend mimicked your actions with a slower speed, her emotion draining away little by little. When her head cocked to the side, halfway through taking off her apron, you only sighed.

“The worst that can happen is I get fired, right?”

You weren't surprised that she was nevertheless willing to cross that line.

“That doesn't sound like much to you?”

“I can always write her a 'ha, ha, just joking' afterwards and get out of harm's way.”

You didn't contain the irresistible urge to roll your eyes and Yuna took that as her own signal or green light. Next thing you knew she was pulling out her phone and typing animatedly on the screen.

“I really don't think you should do that.”

“I have to try! Can I call myself a good fan if I don't do even the impossible?”

“You don't even know if they'll come.”

“I have a hunch.”

With her hand over her heart, Yuna sent the message and you feared for her life. While Sol was not at all close to the idea and conceptualization of a crazy and ruthlessly demanding boss, she did draw the line at several specific situations that they had both learned to respect. One of those was, of course, private meetings at her place. You and Yuna had set up the place countless times for Sol to sit quietly and chat with her most famous acquaintances, because her office was too formal to deal with them there, but her own home was extremely informal for the same purpose. The cafeteria served as a middle ground, the perfect place to be comfortable when talking business.

“Patrick is coming.” Yuna spoke again and by the way her eyes didn't leave the screen you could tell Sol hadn't responded yet.

“I wish you the best of luck, Yuna.”

“Thank you! Coming from you it's a blessing, indeed.”

“And why's that?”

You finally stood up, closing your locker with your strap bag over your right shoulder. You were ready to leave while your friend was still biting her index fingernail waiting for an almost impossible and inconceivable message from her boss.

“What else can I expect from the writer who blew up overnight and is soon going to be one of the New York Times bestsellers and famous worldwide?”

“Ah,” you turned your head, unable to contain inwardly the way a warmth settled in your chest; you still had a hard time accepting how things had turned out, but as long as you couldn't control the influx of orders that had to take a back seat, “smooth.”

Yuna smiled and when her eyes met yours you swore she was about to tell you one more time how proud she was of you, but her phone vibrated in her hands and the last thing you saw her eyes widen exaggeratedly before her scream shook the foundations of the store and almost the entire city.

“SHE SAID YES!!!!”

-

Arriving home unleashed immeasurable chaos.

As soon as you opened the front door, a river of books fell like dominoes, with your father's groans and your mother's screams in the background, the sound of your work echoing in your head like lightning as stomping echoed through the house.

“Seojun, I told you to be careful walking…!”The angry expression on your mother's face disappeared the moment she recognized your face, her features softening as she knew it was her daughter. “Honey. What are you doing here so early?”

“Is that y/n?” your dad's exclamation rang out from the kitchen.

“Yes!” your mom yelled back.

The welcome was nice, but things only got more and more tedious from then on. On the one hand, you had your father telling you about accounts, numbers and multiplications of how much you had to take out of your pocket to pay for the prints, how much you would make if you sold all the books you had printed and how much you would get back, and on the other hand you had your mother telling you about the countless publishers who had written to your dm's seeking to sponsor the sale of your books, taking advantage of the boom that had been generated by the phenomenon that was Kim Taehyung.

Seojun, who had decided to move back home for the weekend to help with whatever was needed, was telling you that they had had to hire five different deliverymen -three of them trucks- to be able to deliver as many orders a day as possible, while vehemently hitting your father's forearm to remind him to include that in the accounts.

Your father was in charge of everything related to money, your mother of the direct communication with customers and Seojun of the orders; everything was done by them, with Yuna's help when she was not working, with the excuse that after so many years you just had to sit down and enjoy the fruit of your sowing without any worries.

But at that moment, when they had just let go and thrown all their worries at your feet, they stared at you expectantly.

"We need a loan."

Your mother jumped in her chair. "That's what I said!"

"That's not necessary." Your father shook his head, as he surely would have done when your mother suggested the idea judging by the expression that had planted itself on her face. "Take a loan from my wallet, but don't do business with those bankers. They'll gouge your eyes out with interest."

"Or take a publisher's offer. They'll take care of all this." Seojun pointed out, his long black hair brushing his eyebrows even though he shook it nonchalantly so he could get a good look at the three of them.

"Publishers can be freeloaders too." Your mother counter-argued, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, yeah? How many publishers have you signed on with to assert that?"

"Wow, careful with that tone, Mr. Lawyer." Your father pointed at your brother, while your mother only raised an eyebrow at him in response. Seojun sank into the chair, barely dragging an apology through his teeth.

"It's not a bad idea either, Dad."

His brown eyes returned to meet your gaze and you noticed the hesitation in them.

"Well, ultimately, it's your decision, honey."

Your mother squeezed your shoulder.

"I say we should listen to the lawyer."

"Hey!" Seojun frowned, straightening up on the chair. "Don't put such a big responsibility on me!"

Your father snorted. "But then weren't you comfortable a while ago giving orders and saying that I don't know what thing you had already seen it in class and that's why you knew what we had to do?"

"Dad…" Seojun elongated.

"Are you ready for such a position or not, Seojun? Tell me to start looking for another lawyer."

Your mother barely contained her laughter, only because of the offended sideways glance her own son sent her way. Laughter blossomed in your chest, too, like a big breath of fresh air in a field of flowers. You didn't know you needed that moment so badly until the tension disappeared from your shoulders as you laughed with your parents and your brother grumbled with his arms crossed.

-

A new batch of orders just went out - thank you so much for your purchases!

You looked at the story your mom had uploaded to Instagram in the solitude of your bedroom. The rest of the day was spent strategizing and planning marketing ideas that would likely lead you to ruin. In a defeated silence, you admitted that Yuna was really needed.

You had texted your friend a while ago, as the sunset was beginning to paint the sky with colors, but she still hadn't even checked her phone. Her last connection was a few minutes after you left at noon. You decided not to insist, even though you were a little curious about who had finally shown up at the store.

The best thing about that busy rest of the afternoon was that you'd been able to keep yourself busy enough to completely ignore the way you'd been whipped up by a few memories that morning in Yuna's company. A simple question had caused all that. And of course, with a heart as weak as a chick's and willpower almost non-existent, you let yourself be pulled right in that moment of loneliness into the well of memories.

“Jungkookie?”

Your voice pierced the silence and a shiver ran through your body as the darkness greeted you back. A few minutes passed after you plunged into the completely darkened room, walking tentatively and slowly inside, you heard a movement just outside the door you had just entered.

“Noona…”

You couldn't see him, but you didn't need to. The sobs that filled the room were enough to be able to guide you through that darkness, as indistinguishable as coal, and wrap your arms around his hunched figure on the floor beside the door.

The house was alone and as dark as that room the last night Jungkook would be there. Passing through the empty corridors of his house was a torment, but you could only imagine how your friend would feel in his place, unable to stop time as it slipped through his fingers.

Several times he had already told you that he didn't want to leave. You didn't think he meant it.

“They're waiting for you downstairs.”

“I know. I don't want to go, noona.” Jungkook moved his arms to wrap around your waist in a desperate grip, his erratic breathing against your neck breaking your heart. “I want to stay. It doesn't matter if I never become an idol. That's not important.”

“Jungkook…”

“I don't want to leave you…”

His halting voice was barely understandable, trying to be muffled by the jacket you were wearing that night when you went to see him off and didn't find him in the car with his parents. The heater seemed not to be a worthy opponent for that cold night.

“Jungkook, you're not going to leave me. We'll keep in touch. Why do you worry so much?”

“I don't want to be like them,” his pained voice pierced your chest; the movement of his body from the way the sobs were attacking him was almost uncontainable. “I don't want this distance.”

“Change is always hard, Jungkookie, but I promise you we'll be in touch always. I'll do my best to make it so.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I'll even come visit you as soon as I can.”

“No. I said I was going to pay for your trip.”

“See? You're not going to leave me.”

“Still I'm scared, noona. What if I'm not enough for them? What if I can't raise enough for you to come live with us?”

“You are enough, Jungkook. From the tips of your fingers to the tips of your hair, there's nothing about you that won't allow you to achieve your dreams, understand? You are destined to be a star. I know it's hard to leave behind everything you know in life, but believe me it will all be worth it. You will come out on top and you will succeed.”

“Noona…” Jungkook cried again, burying his face in your neck once more, clinging to you like the anchor that carried him to the surface of the ocean; the ocean shaped by his own tears. “I… don't… want… to… go…”

The hiccups that attacked him from his intense crying made it difficult for him to speak and you hadn't felt such pain even when the other boys left. There were tears shared, promises whispered and hugs that lasted longer than they should have, but no one had clung to your body as if they feared you were going to disappear at any moment and wanted to seize every second before the impending end.

“It's okay, Jungkookie,” you ran your hands up and down his back trying to calm his crying, trying to control your own as treacherous tears rolled down your cheeks with the darkness as your witness. “We'll meet again. You can wait for me. Then we can melt into another embrace and say how much we miss each other.”

Your phone vibrated on the bed, the notification startling you with its aggressiveness. Another vibration followed that one and then another. Turning on the screen, you found that half an hour had passed since you'd last seen the clock, and in passing you came across Yuna's name on the caller ID. You sighed, remembering the effusiveness with which she said goodbye in the afternoon and mentally preparing yourself for what was to come.

"Hey," you greeted, mildly surprised that her exclamations hadn't reached your ear first to interrupt your greeting.

"y/n, how were sales today?" her calm voice filled your hearing and a slight wrinkle implanted itself between your brows.

"Mmm, it was all good. We have several domiciliary and the prints are coming out with the deadlines arranged. With Seojun we considered that maybe taking on a publisher wouldn't be so bad, but I'm not sure yet."

You narrowed your eyes at the ceiling, shallowly biting your nails, waiting for the moment when Yuna would burst out, but it didn't come.

"Oh, yeah. We'll have to consider that. I'll go early tomorrow morning to seize the day." Yuna answered quietly, with the faint sound of things stirring in the background of the call. Surely she had just arrived at her apartment.

"Yuna?"

"Mhm?"

"How was the afternoon?"

"Oh, it was normal, really," she replied, her voice flat, as if the thought had barely crossed her mind since the moment she'd left the coffee shop. "I didn't see anyone memorable."

"Ah, so your knights in shining armor didn't attend?"

"Sadly, no." Yuna sighed, her unchanging attitude finding a little more sense in your head. She sounded more tired than anything.

You talked a bit more with Yuna before she excused herself to go about her evening routine and finally get some rest, specifically stressing to you how boring the whole afternoon had been and how every second she only thought about going home. You also told her a bit more about the ideas you and your father had half-heartedly spun as marketing strategies, but very earnestly your friend asked you not to do anything until she was there.

When her name disappeared from your caller ID, an Instagram notification popped up at the top of your home screen. The vibration felt like the pounding of a sledgehammer against wood, your sentence handed down with no chance of appeal, the blood in your veins freezing and an endless emptiness in the pit of your stomach.

jeonjungkook97 just followed you!

It was followed by the notification of a message from Yuna.

Unnie | 19:01 holy shit. jungkook just followed you on ig, right?

No fucking way. Another fucking account to block.

-

It wasn't like you couldn't deal with them. You had been doing it for about ten years. But now they just seemed to want to throw themselves in front of your face one by one and you weren't strong enough to handle that. Maybe your resolve needed to be more forceful; maybe you should be sure you hated them instead of feeling like your body was shaking and you could melt like jelly in the sun every time you felt they were one step closer to you. For a while, that was all you wanted; to find them; to be found. But now…?

The weekend was spent in a hodgepodge of managing your book sales and the seesaw of emotions you had in the face of the estranged but impactful actions of your old friends. You tried not to think about it too much; you really tried, but it was very difficult. It was easier to let the memories wash over you instead of diligently packing up the books on which you had squandered your blood and tears.

Your books, yes, that was the most important thing.

From the posts and hashtags, even though it had only been a couple of days, you could see that some people -those who had actually read the books- were already posting their opinions and reviews and you knew you had had plenty of time to prepare for that moment, but you really weren't ready to face it. You didn't know what it was; whether it was the pollen, the aligned planets, PMS, mercury retrograde… but all of those things were weighing you down too much recently and you weren't ready to hear the opinions.

And you couldn't help but keep asking yourself why? Having spent so much time, between so many experiences and so many personal changes, why now they decided that they would come back into your life? How dare they after ruining your life by completely abandoning you? Many times you wondered what was missing in you; what was never enough for them… sometimes you believed that this was how it was meant to be; just the seven of them, before you came along. It was always them seven first, then you.

Between lows and highs, between sadness and joy, you still had to keep working.

"Get rid of that face if you're not going to tell me what's wrong with you." Yuna crossed the cafeteria in front of you, picking up some glasses and plates on the table as lunchtime approached.

"I don't have any face."

"You've been in a somber mood since Saturday. You look dead."

You clicked your tongue, taking advantage of the fact that the store was nearly empty to do the math. "Don't be over the top."

"I'm just being honest and genuinely concerned about my friend, can you blame me?" Yuna reached the sink and simply left the dishes there to approach the cash register. Your eyes refused to meet hers, unsheathing a strange annoyance in the pit of your stomach.

"I'm fine," you moved the money automatically, doing the math in the back of your head as second nature, "don't worry so much."

"Ok, if you don't want to tell me about it at least try to distract yourself a little, why don't you take an extra half hour for lunch?"

"You know I can't do that."

"Sol would never know."

"I'm not going to do that."

Yuna pouted, dropping her chin onto the back of her hand. You knew she was about to fly you out of that chair the moment all the bills were safeguarded.

A whiplash of pain shot through your chest at the alternative of having to leave the cafeteria, alone, hovering with your thoughts once again, as you tried to shove the food down your throat. But Yuna happily dragged you out of the cafeteria, leaving you in the middle of the street with your little bag and lunch money, wishing you a happy break as she wandered off once more to deal with the sparse crowd of customers alone.

Maybe you should have told her you'd rather not eat than be alone, but…

That was the story of your life.

So you walked to that restaurant a couple of blocks away, where they sold the cheapest food in the area, and waited patiently while answering Yuna's messages to clear your mind.

Going through your social networks, you once again came across the cover of your books in the pre-viewing of a video and felt the bile in your throat. Let's see, you were happy. Or well, you were trying to convince yourself because you still had that bitter feeling in the pit of your stomach that wouldn't let you enjoy this blast like you should and it had a first and last name of its own. But, generally speaking, it was great that your books were selling, forgetting all the other circumstances that led to that happening.

So, standing in front of those videos, you were tormented by not being able to watch them. A self-published author should be prepared for that kind of thing. No, any author should be. Sharing your art with the world implicitly entailed confronting the world's expression in front of it. It was inevitable, of course, and it was also the energy that could start an engine or the fingers that put out the match. At that precise moment, you still didn't want to know what your destiny was.

You hated that. You hated feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. Why was life so heavy if you had just begun to live it?

Ah, too much pondering for one lunch.

And to think this all started with an Instagram story.

Having an existential crisis because you couldn't stand dealing with the stress and pressure of the extreme demand you were having and because of mixed feelings for a bunch of idiots resurfacing after so many years was one of the last things you thought you'd have to go through that year. Fuck, or ever in your entire life.

Taehyung might have done you a favor as well as a disservice.

But that's how you spent a while longer, as you walked back to the coffee shop, the noise of the city not being enough to quell the bustle of thoughts crashing against each other in your head.

Being in the eye of the hurricane, however, didn't mean you were safe. You barely had a breath of fresh air before the eyewall hit you hard once again.

"Noona…?"

You froze a few steps away from the cafeteria. You feared not only the way you immediately recognized the voice, but the way your body froze, fear, panic and uncertainty clouding your sense.

You were in the alley behind the coffee shop. You didn't usually go in that way, but you had taken a slightly longer way back, only because you were too busy thinking about whether or not your body was up to a longer walk.

You were so close to the door that you could almost hear Yuna's voice on the other side, barely muffled by the beeping that echoed in your ears as panic took over your body.

You didn't want to turn around. Your body was having every possible negative reaction, as if it was fighting an infection, the lunch you had just shoved down your throat seeking to make its way back into your mouth and the feeling of dizziness momentarily clouded you.

Was this how you planned to react if you ever saw them again? Was this how you acted out the scenarios you imagined in your head at night when your memories went back to the last time you saw them?

The only difference between those imaginings and what was happening at that moment was that before you could prepare yourself; you knew what was coming; you had control. Now? Your legs were about to give out, the weight of your body too much to bear.

And you wanted to mock the pathetic behavior you were engaging in. You should turn around, slap him and scream at him that you never wanted to see him again. But your heart was beating and feeling and… how could you deny it anything after so many years of being neglected?

But maybe you were imagining it. The little sleep you had this weekend and all the memories you dragged from the trunk since you saw that Instagram notification must have made you crazy enough that you heard voices, his voice, anywhere… you were still near a busy street, it could be anyone-

"y/n."

And, yet…

You didn't turn around knowing what it would entail to give his voice a face, even though you could madly and frankly recall every line of its length, and you spoke harshly through your teeth even though your labored breathing made your chest heave.

"What are you doing here?"

"Noona… you're really here."

You cringed as you heard his footsteps and clutched with inhuman speed at the lock on the door in front of you.

"I asked you a fucking question: what the fuck do you think you're doing here?"

The silence didn't give you an answer, but you could glimpse it. With your patience on edge and years of emotional repression it was impossible for you to deduce how you would react in such a case, but it didn't seem too far-fetched, even if Jungkook's surprised inspiration said he didn't expect you to be so harsh and rude.

As if you cared.

—Yes you did care, in fact, that's why your heart was beating wildly against your ribs, the choking sensation increasing, the nerves on edge and the tears all over the corners of your eyes, but you had to stand your ground. After so, so long… why, why, why, why?—

"I… I…" Jungkook seemed to be having trouble finding his voice, even though in his profession the words came melodiously and easily out of his mouth. If you turned to look at him, you might have noticed that his face went from happiness to anguish with the speed a bullet goes through a field, "I wanted to see you…"

He sounded so small. The five-foot-ten-plus man, who you're sure was almost a head and a half taller than you, might as well have been a badly wounded puppy behind you. You knew from the way he spoke that he was holding back tears, but you didn't let that sway you. He didn't deserve it.

"Who gave you the right to come here?"

You didn't let him answer, not knowing if he was even going to, tightening the lock on the door you were about to walk through at any moment, bile in your throat making you fear the fall as if you were at the top of a skyscraper.

"How the fuck did you even find me?"

"Well, I-"

"I don't fucking want to know!"

You cut him off, the dryness and venom in your voice making you tremble. You were so sad, so distraught and so angry at the same time.

"And I don't want to see you. So leave."

"Noona…"

"Fucking leave, Jeon, for fuck's sake!"

You moved, almost as if by inertia, opening the door and slamming it behind you, the noise so deafening that it echoed in your ears for several seconds until you heard Yuna's footsteps approaching you and felt her arms wrap around your body.

You didn't know what she was saying, you just leaned against the door and let yourself fall, your body shaking in cry after uncontrollable cry, truly wondering how everything had gone so far; wondering how, after so many years, you still allowed them to have that power over you; a power they didn't deserve and shouldn't have.

You felt shattered in that moment, every piece of you scattered in the hold, every moment of your life replaying on its glassy, sharp edges. Even with half of you staying afloat, Yuna held you until the tears stopped flowing and with renewed resolve you promised yourself that this was never going to happen again.

Jungkook had taken you by surprise, but from now on none of them would ever catch you off guard.

-

a/n: i dont really know what to think about this chap. sometimes i like it sometimes i dont. i guess thats just how it works. pls letme know what you think! thank u for all the support! <3

tag: @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos @pastelpeachess @parapiop7 @kokoandkookie @midiplier @thunderg @lizzymizzy-blogg @ladymorrie @butnotmontana @lovelgirl22 @jjeonjjk7 @aurorathi @ot7stansthings @kunacat @borahaetelevision @mylovingstars @ghostlyworld @talyaaas-blog @slowlyshycomputer @jjk174 @maynina @saintomie @damn-u-min-yoongi @juju-227592 @yoongznme @queenbloody @leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesworld @zippaur @v4ksk4tz @kookierry @idk179634 @canarystwin @elliott-calls @devilzliaison

[writeonwhiskey]

the skz house: ch 3 (18+)

a/n: thank you to all who liked, commented and reblogged. glad to have you on this ride with me.

Summary: Welcome to Sigma Kappa Zeta, the most popular fraternity on campus. When you, down on your luck and looking for a place to live, see their ad for ‘IN-HOUSE STAY’. You're one of the four girls chosen and find that your duties for the rest of the school year will be cooking, cleaning, and pleasing your assigned house members: Hyunjin & Bang Chan.

[ read chapter two here ]

Chapter Three: Of Blowjobs and Birthdays

The house becomes hectic when everyone is back home. With twelve people living here, it’s a house full of extremely different personalities and, honestly, a little overwhelming. You start to wonder how stable things will remain throughout the year. Do the guys ever fight amongst themselves? Do the girls? You’re not very confrontational, so you’ll have to hold on to hope that any disagreements can be resolved quickly. 

After dinner you have a chance to interact with Jeongin in the basement. The two of you are standing next to the bar as Lee Know and Changbin challenge each other in a game of pool. Jeongin is all smiles and dimples as he talks to you about his minor in fashion design and his plan to launch a chic streetwear clothing line after graduating. You can’t think of any other way to describe him besides adorable and pure (Han will later assure you that thought wears off over time).

“If you ever need tips, I’m the one to talk to,” he tells you. 

“I may have to take you up on that because this,” you gesture to the plain jeans and shirt you’re wearing, “is where I tend to stay.”

He steps closer to you, his hands reaching for the bottom of your shirt. 

“May I?” He asks. 

You shrug and nod.

He gathers the fabric from the back and folds it upwards, then uses the excess material in front to twist into a spiral. He wraps the end around the ball that has formed and pushes the end piece through the center. He turns you around to face the mirror against the opposite wall and you nod your approval.

“It accentuates here,” he (very professionally) gestures towards your breast while standing behind you, then moves his hands lower to your waist, “and here without you having to do much.”

“Do mine next, Innie,” you hear Changbin say from the pool table.

“It works best with bigger shirts, hyung, yours are too tight,” Jeongin retorts. 

Lee Know laughs as he calls 8 ball corner pocket and sinks it in. 

The smile on Changbin’s face drops as he tosses the pool cue on the table. He heads up the stairs without saying anything to anyone, causing the three of you to burst out into laughter. 

You all end up following after him to the main floor to see what the others are up to. 

Mostly everyone has dispersed to doing their own thing and you decide to turn in for the night. If you stay down here any longer, you may be tempted to accidentally fall asleep on the couch, if it means avoiding going up to Chan’s room. You imagine that might not play out so well as you head to the second floor to shower.  

You make a stop in Hyunjin’s room on your way to grab a few things you’ll need the next couple days while staying with Chan.

Hyunjin is seated at his desk, fiddling with a camera. 

“Hey,” you say as you enter. 

“Come to say goodbye to me?” He spins in his chair to face you and pouts. 

“Please don’t make this more awkward than it already feels,” you say with a serious look on your face. 

Seeing your expression, he drops the pout. 

“You okay?” 

“It just feels conflicting, spending last night with you, now going to Chan…” you trail off as you sit down on his bed. 

“It will for the first few weeks, I’m sure,” he tells you. “I wish I could tell you how to sort through it but I really don’t know what it’s like from your perspective.”

“What’s it like from yours?” You ask. 

“These guys are my brothers…we’ve been through so much and already share everything, so this isn’t a huge stretch for us believe it or not,” he shrugs. “Everything is transparent so there’s no room for jealousy, we follow the rules of the house and it all just works out.”

“But Chan seems…”

“He’s been that way the last week for some reason. I don’t know what it is but he’ll either get over it or open up to us about it eventually. He just likes to brood. He’s moody like that.”

You nod your head, taking some consolation that maybe it isn’t you that’s the problem after all, and get up from the bed to retrieve your belongings. Hyunjin stands to hug you on your way out and tells you goodnight, placing a kiss on your forehead. You revel in his embrace while you have it.

“You should show your figure more,” he says when you step back, looking at the shirt Jeongin has revamped for you. “It looks good.”

“Thank you,” you reply with a shy smile, covering your midriff with your arm as you slowly back out of the room. You wave one final time before turning around, wanting to retain the happiness you’re feeling right now as you’re so uncertain what awaits on the next floor up. 

Seungmin, Changbin and Han, who also stay on the third floor, warned you about how warm it gets up there. So after your shower, you decide on a pair of silk pajama shorts and top for the night. When you enter Chan’s room, it feels even warmer since he’s just had a shower, too.

He has one towel tied around his hips and is using another to dry his hair when he stops to look at you. His eyes travel from you head to toes, then back up again. He sits down on his bed and watches you as you put your things away. 

“How was your first day in the house?” He asks, breaking the silence.

“Pretty good, actually.” You say turning to face him, trying to keep your gaze on his face and not his exposed chest. Even in his relaxed sitting position you can see the outlines of his abs. 

“You think you’ll be able to stick it out?”

You furrow your brow at his question. 

“Am I allowed to leave if I feel like I can’t?” You ask. 

“You didn’t read the contract?”

Your gaze falls to the floor. Fucking contracts will probably be the death of you.

“It was, like, 37 pages, Chan. I have enough to read with my class assignments,” you tell him. 

“Yes, you can leave,” he answers. “With a proper two week notice so we have time to find a replacement.”

“That disposable, huh?” You move the blankets back on your bed and sit down on it. 

“We don’t force anyone to be here,” he shrugs, leaning back on his hands. 

“Do you want me to leave?” You ask suddenly. 

“You’re already here,” he replies. “Might as well stay.”

Part of you wants to take what he says as him encouraging you to stick around, but the way he says it makes it feel like an afterthought. You also made the mistake of thinking he was being kind to you earlier today. 

“Results are in, by the way,” he announces with his phone in hand.

It takes you a moment to realize what he means—the test you took a few days ago. Your heartbeat quickens as you check your phone and find the email. It’s not the results that are making you nervous. It’s the feel of his eyes on you and what comes next. You stand from your bed and walk towards him, hand outstretched for him to see your results. He nods his approval and shows you his.

“Did you want to…” you trail off, unable to bring yourself to say the words. 

He slowly licks his lips as he looks up at you. You’re not sure if the uneasiness you’re feeling is nerves or some kind of tormented butterflies. It feels drastically different than when you were with Hyunjin, that much you’re sure of.

He takes your phone from you and tosses it behind him on the bed before holding his hand out. You tentatively place yours in his and he pulls you so you’re standing between his legs. His hands drop to the back of your knees and his fingertips begin to lightly caress their way up the back of your thighs.  

“You don’t?” He counters. 

“I—I—“ you stutter. 

His hands creep higher and higher until they’re just barely beneath the hem of the shorts. He stops his movements, grips you and pulls you even closer to him. You place your hands on his shoulders to keep yourself from falling on him.

“It has to be consensual, y/n,” he tells you. “But I do want you first.”

Your eyes lock with his and for the first time you feel like he’s being transparent. Would it ease some of the tension you feel with him if you consent tonight? Hyunjin did mention some of the members view this as a sexual thing and others emotional. Maybe Chan just prefers the physical. 

“I’ve only ever been with one other person,” you say, looking down at the floor. 

“Then you’ll learn a lot here,” he says as his hands resume caressing you. 

Your hands move up towards his neck, fingers lightly stroking at the nape. Eyes still locked on his, you nod your consent. 

“Lesson one, then,” he says, spreading his legs a little further apart. “Get on your knees.”

Your eyebrows come together once again at his words. He doesn’t budge—doesn’t smile, no inference that he’s joking in the slightest. 

You slowly kneel on the floor in front of him. 

“Open my towel,” is his next command. 

You bring your hands to his lap to pull the two ends of the towel apart and cast them aside. He’s completely exposed but shows no sign of being embarrassed or insecure. Your eyes fall down to his cock—he has no reason to, you can see that. 

He hooks a finger under your chin and lifts your head up. His thumb lightly moves across your lips from left to right then slowly drags down the middle, pulling your bottom lip with it. 

He redirects his attention to your pajama top, undoing the buttons with ease one by one. When he moves the silky fabric to the side, you let out a shaky breath as his eyes linger on your exposed breasts. He cups both of them in each hand, gliding his thumbs across your nipples until they harden.

It feels good, you can’t deny that. You have no control over your body’s response to his actions, but there’s some discrepancy between your body and the thoughts racing through your mind. He’s handsome, but are you attracted to him? Given the way he’s been treating you…what does it say about you if you are?

His hands fall from your chest, and you instantly feel cold without his touch. He reaches down for your hand and grabs it, placing it on his cock. You wrap your hand around it, feeling how warm and hard it is. He leans back on the bed, looking down at you. 

“Spit on it,” he tells you. 

You feel your pulse pick up at his words as you move your jaw and tongue to gather up moisture in your mouth. You adjust yourself over him to do as you’re told. He guides your hand once again, helping you move the saliva around and lather until his dick is slippery. 

“It’s not that fragile, you can squeeze a little harder, y/n.” His tone is soft as he looks at you with darkened eyes. 

You tighten your grip and begin moving your hand up and down slowly. He lays back flat on the bed as you continue to stroke him. You feel a little less pressure without him staring at you and focus on what’s in front of you. The hair surrounding the base is dark and curly, yet neatly groomed. His dick is almost the same color as the rest of his body, with a redder tint. You can see, up close, all the veins at work as he becomes harder in the palm of your hand. The tip is cut, pink, and dripping. You rub your thumb around it in circles, smearing the clear fluid around. 

He lets out a soft groan and sits back up on the bed.

He cups your face in his hand and strokes your cheeks. 

“Open your mouth,” he says. 

You slowly drop your jaw. His hands move to the back of your head and guide you forward. You close your eyes and try to remain calm and relaxed as you feel the tip of his dick at your lips.

He moves one of his hands to the base, and slides the tip of his dick around your lips before sliding it inside. With his other hand still behind your head, he pushes you further down. You put your hands on his thighs and start to resist when you feel you can’t take anymore in your mouth. 

He releases the pressure on the back of your head and you breathe out of your nose, adjusting to having so much of him in your mouth. It’s not your first blow job, but he’s a lot bigger than your ex and, you know, you hadn’t even kissed this man yet.

You start to stroke the base as your mouth focuses on the upper half. You move in unison, moving your hand up as your head draws back, then down as you take more of him in again. Your ex did not enjoy ‘sloppy’ blow jobs and all the saliva, but Chan seems to like it. You use the moisture that works up in your mouth to make it easier to glide along him. He groans as you start moving faster, and continues guiding your head with more force each time you descend. 

He grips his hand in your hair and you take that as a sign of encouragement to keep going. When you move your mouth to focus on just the tip as you continue stroking him with your hand, he releases your hair and falls back on the bed again. You suck only the tip, popping it out of your mouth like a lollipop and taking it inside again. 

“Fuck, y/n,” he croaks. 

Another sign of encouragement. You’ll have to take whatever words of acceptance you can get with him. 

You take your mouth off completely and use your tongue to lick upwards from the bottom to the top, gliding across the protruding vein there. When you go back to the base, his hand is on your head again, pushing you lower. Your eyes open wide as you see what he wants you to do. You straighten up to spit on his dick again and add moisture before returning back to his balls. You take one in your mouth, lightly sucking on it, then the other. 

“I knew it,” he breathes, seemingly talking to himself.

Knew what? You wonder. But you don’t stop. 

“Put your mouth back on my cock,” he says. 

You place your mouth back on him, moving up and down in synchronicity with your hand. Both of his hands go to your head, forcefully pushing you down as he bucks his hips up, groaning. 

He doesn’t warn you, so the first shot in your mouth startles you. You feel the warmth and taste the saltiness as he continues to thrust into your mouth. When his hips fall to the bed for the final time, you sit back on your legs. You’re not sure what to do next. You want to get up and run to the bathroom.

He sits back up, breathing heavily. The way he looks at you gives you some pause. He looks satisfied, relieved. He leans forward and kisses you briefly on the lips, apparently oblivious of the load you’re holding inside or something. When he leans back, your face is contorted as you gesture to your mouth. 

He shakes his head, careless of the expression you’re making. He places a finger under your jaw to keep it shut. 

“Swallow.”

You shake your head, but he doesn’t move his finger, he pushes up on your jaw harder, staring at you intently. You concede and move your heard forward slightly to make it easier to go down in one gulp. 

“Open.”

You open your mouth and show him nothing is there. 

“Good girl.” He pats your cheek before moving back on the bed towards his pillows, leaving you on your knees at the foot of the bed. “Get some sleep.”

You feel like you’ve just been punched in the gut. So much for this situation being reciprocal. 

You shakily get to your feet, pick up your phone and retreat to your bed with the buttons of your shirt still undone. There’s no other way to describe how you're feeling—used. You slip underneath the blanket and immediately turn over to face the wall. You hear Chan get up a few minutes later and go to his bathroom. 

You let out a sigh when you believe he’s out of earshot. You signed up for this, but this…was not what you had expected. You imagine how this would have played out with Hyunjin. The two of you would have probably laughed together after your raunchy behavior and he would have held you as you fell asleep. You wish you were with him right now. You squeeze your eyes shut and will yourself to fall asleep.

You wake up the next morning once again to the sound of your alarm going off and frantically silence it. You peek over your shoulder to see Chan still sleeping in his bed. Yesterday when you were bright eyed and optimistic, you set this alarm to get up and cook for him. Even though he said he wasn’t big on eating breakfast—today is his birthday. You wanted to do something nice for him. Of course that was all prior to him blowing his load in your mouth and then sending you off to bed immediately after. You contemplate just staying in bed and not mentioning his birthday to him at all.

The way he’s treating you doesn’t just sting, it fucking hurts. If everyone in the house had the same demeanor, perhaps you could understand it better—that they all are cold. But, no, everyone else has been nothing but nice to you. 

You have to reason with yourself that you can’t take his behavior personal. You’re here to perform certain duties and you can’t force or expect him to be affectionate with you. You shouldn’t take it as an offense. Easier said than done, though. 

You push the covers off and button up your shirt—you’d fallen asleep without ever fixing it—and make your way quietly down stairs. You stop on the second floor to brush your teeth, it’s desperately needed after last night. You feel yourself start to becoming angry at the thought. Did he enjoy knowing you’d spent the night with the taste of him lingering in your mouth? Why hadn’t you spoken up and said something…anything? Perhaps it falls back on being non-confrontational, but you’re also afraid of making him angry. You push the thoughts aside once again and wash your hands and face before heading to the kitchen.

The boys told you Chan really liked spam omelets so you’ll be making that for everyone, with rice. The distraction of prepping and cooking is a nice reprieve for your mind. You can’t focus on anything other than the task at hand. Some of the others file in soon after to keep you company. Or maybe they’re just waiting to eat. 

You’re finished within an hour. You make Chan a plate—rice on one side with furikake sprinkled on top, and the spam omelet on the other. You find a serving tray in the cabinet and place the plate and a glass of watermelon punch (another one of his favorites, you had been told) on it. The other’s start making their own plates and you head back upstairs to deliver Chan his breakfast in bed. The irony in this is not lost on you. Treating him like a goddamn king after he’d made you feel like a fucking harlot. 

When you get back to the room, he’s still sleeping. 

You sit the tray down at the foot of the bed. You had kinda hoped he’d be awake by now, as you’re not sure how he reacts to being woken up. You sit behind him on the bed and lightly shake him. He wakes easily and turns to look at you over his shoulder, eyes half open. 

“Happy Birthday, Chan,” you say to him softly, forcing a smile. 

He takes a moment to adjust to being awake but promptly sits up on the bed, back against the pillows. 

“Thank you,” he replies, as his eyes fall on the tray of food. 

“I know you said you’re not big on breakfast but, I made you a spam omelet,” you say, reaching forward to grab the tray and drag it back towards him. 

He picks up the glass of juice and takes a long drink. 

“The others aren’t planning anything else today are they?” He asks warily, setting the glass back down. 

“Not that I know of…they said you’d kill them,” you shrug. 

“Good,” he nods. “You not eating?”

“There’s more downstairs…I wasn’t sure if you’d want to eat alone or not.” You can’t bring yourself to add ‘with me’ in you response. 

He brings the tray closer to him and cuts a piece of the omelet with the fork. He adds a little bit of rice too, then holds the fork out to you, one hand cupped beneath it to catch anything that falls. 

You shake your head and try to push his hand away but he resists. 

“Open,” he says. 

You find this alarming—the rate at which your mouth drops open at his behest. He puts the fork in your mouth and you close your lips around it, drawing back to take the food from it.

He smiles at you then, a real smile. For the first time that you can remember since you’ve been here. His eyes are puffy from sleep so they get even smaller with his cheeks pressed up and you see he has a deep set of dimples. Before you can stop it, you feel your eyes begin to prickle. 

You recognize the onslaught of the water works and quickly stand from the bed. You don’t want him to see you cry. You don’t want him to know that this small act of kindness felt like so much more to you after how he’s made you feel the past couple of days.

“Please, eat. Enjoy. I’ll see you later,” you say in a rush and head for the door before he can say anything to stop you. 

You don’t know if he calls after you as you speed down the hallway, wiping the lone tear that falls from your eye.

Later, you catch a ride to campus with Felix and Allie for your afternoon class, happy for another distraction to keep your thoughts of Chan at bay. You ride back home with Changbin and Seungmin who are adamant about having pizza for dinner. They advise you of Chan’s favorite place to order from—another birthday treat for him. They make a stop on the way home for beer and alcohol to celebrate. You’re wary of their choice but they tell you since it’s just those in the house in attendance, he won’t be upset about it. 

Back at the house, you lounge on the sofa watching TV with some of the others until Hyunjin arrives home around 3:00pm. He sits next to you and takes your hand in his, giving it a squeeze. You lean your head on his shoulder and place your other hand on his arm. You appreciate his consistency and how easy it is to just be yourself without second guessing anything around him.

“How was last night?” He asks quietly.

“It was fine,” you lie.

“See? You were worried for nothing." He drapes his other arm across your side, pulling you closer to him. 

You’re thankful he can’t see your face. You don’t know if the Chan you’re experiencing is different than the one he knows, or if he fully knows what you’re going through and doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. Either way, you keep it to yourself. 

As more people start to return home, the birthday festivities begin. One case of beer is taken down to the basement to start beer pong and when Chan gets back, the alcohol bottles are cracked opened.

Everyone gathers in the kitchen to take a shot. Chan’s eyes meet yours for the first time since your awkward encounter this morning and you offer a polite smile. Hyunjin pulls you to stand between him and Chan and hands you a shot. You scrunch up your face and shake your head. 

“If I have to celebrate, everyone has to drink,” Chan says matter-of-factly. 

You grab the shot glass in one hand, and hold a can of Coke in the other. 

Lee Know loudly clears his throat before addressing the room. 

“To our fearless and humble leader,” he begins and Han snorts at his words, “We’re thankful to have spent another year with you as our chapter president. We can’t imagine anyone else in your place.”

“Speak for yourself,” Changbin pipes up, causing everyone to chuckle. 

“To another year, and many more to come.” He raises his glass in the air and everyone else follows suit before tossing back the shot. 

You grimace and groan as the burning liquid slides down your throat. 

“Good girl,” Chan says to you quietly, placing a hand on your side.

Your shirt is also tied up the way Jeongin showed you, so his fingers are able to freely roam over the exposed skin there. You tense up at the feeling—this public display. Has he gotten over whatever was bothering him? Did he really just need to release some sexual tension? Or does he just become happier when he drinks?

You don’t have to wait long to find out the answer to the latter. As the evening carries on and everyone moves down to the basement, there’s simultaneous games of beer pong and pool being played. Chan is laughing, smiling, and hugging his fraternity brothers and it’s kind of blowing your mind. 

As he stands behind Lee Know, hands wrapped around his waist and chin wresting on his shoulder as Jeongin says something that makes him laugh, you feel like you’re seeing something you shouldn’t. Who is this person? This can’t be the same guy that made you want to cry yourself to sleep yesterday.

You’re not sure if you should question it, maybe you should just be thrilled that he seems more carefree, perhaps not as weighed down by the responsibility of being the fraternity president tonight. Maybe he’ll be nicer tonight when it’s just the two of you up in his room.

You have another shot when everyone else takes one and have a mixed drink as you play beer pong with Hyunjin as your partner. The overall mood in the house is positive, everyone is having a good time. At one point you spot I.N. and his assignee, Charlotte, making out in the corner. Your eyebrows shoot up at the sight—Han was right. 

When the pizza arrives, you help Seungmin and Felix carry all the boxes down to the basement. You go through the boxes to find the one you ordered specifically for Chan and take it to him where he’s sitting at the bar. Thankfully, Seungmin and Changbin had been with you when you placed the order so you could make sure to get what he likes.

“For you, birthday boy,” you say with a smile, holding the box out to him. He takes it from your hand with a lazy smile and sits it on the bar counter. 

Chan lifts the box open, stares at the pizza inside for no more than two seconds before shutting the box and pushing it away. All traces of his previous smile completely gone. 

“Pineapple?” He forces the word out with a look of disgust, as though it pains him. 

Changbin and Seungmin burst into laughter behind you. You whip your head around and throw a glare in their direction. They played you. They planned for this moment to happen since this afternoon. As they remain doubled over in laughter you press your lips into a firm line and slowly nod your head. You will remember this.

You turn back to face Chan.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, “there’s literally every other kind of pizza you can imagine. What can I get you?”

 “Just plain pepperoni is fine,” he says with a shrug. 

You turn to retrieve him a box, but he catches your wrist to stop you, pulling you back towards him. Since he’s sitting down, you’re right at eye level with him. 

“You can’t be so gullible,” he says softly. “That’s gonna cost ya.”

He lightly taps you on the ass before jerking his head in the direction of the other pizza boxes and sending you on your way. 

He’s making pineapple on pizza sound like a cryptic deadly sin. As you plate him up some pepperoni pizza, his last words linger in your mind. You turn to look back at him, his eyes are on you from across the room. A shiver runs down your spine as your eyes meet his and he smirks. What is this innocent mistake going to cost you?

[ read chapter four here ]

a/n: i may be having a little too much fun with this chan. like, comment & reblog to keep fueling my writing fire :)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sweet Like Candy 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, power dynamic, age gap and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Thor, Bucky Barnes (Professor AU)

Summary: the new school year proves to be hectic. (short!chubby! reader)

Part of the Bad Professors AU

Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all. 

Professor Odinson ends his first lesson. You’re still copying down the nouns he wrote on the whiteboard as the rest of the class packs up, already chattering about their next lecture or what kind of drink they’ll get from the campus cafe. You scribble quickly, resigning yourself to deciphering the scratchy print later. 

You just have a few more lines... gosh, you can hardly make out whether that’s a j or a g. 

The rows continue to empty and Professor Odinson’s low drawl wafts up as he speaks with a few students about the weekly quizzes. You’re especially nervous about those yourself. As you get to the last set of nouns, he blocks your view with his large body and picks up the eraser. 

“No, wait--” you call out and pop your head up.  

It’s too late, he swipes right through his own writing. You groan and drop your pen in defeat. You cringe as he turns to look up at you. You roll the pen to the middle of the book and shut it. You stand and start to pack up. 

“I didn’t see you up there,” he calls up. “Apologies.” 

“It’s okay, professor,” you throw it all in your plush bag. The soft fabric is nice to cuddle and calming. “I’ll just use the textbook to finish.” 

You had a look at the textbook. The print is smaller than any book you’ve ever seen. Maybe that’s why it was the cheapest. You hide your dismay as you come to the center aisle and slowly descends. 

“Cherry, was it?” He says, “no, no, Cerise.” 

“Yeah, that’s me. You remember,” you stop on the bottom step and grin. 

“How could I forget? Oh, so lucky you’re here. I meant to inquire, those strawberry candies, what was the brand? I’ve not been able to find any with that particular wrapping.” He says. 

“Oh, er, I have some more,” you reach into your bag. “I get them down at the K-Store. They sell all sorts of Korean imports,” you take out you little sack of candy and loose the ribbon drawstring. Primrose sewed you it over the summer. She said it would keep the chocolates from melting into your laptop fan. Again. 

“You are too kind. I’ll just have the brand and treat myself--” 

“It’s fine! Lots to go around,” you pick out a handful of the strawberry candies. “Here.” 

“Thank you,” he holds out his large hand to catch the candy. “You are too kind.” 

“No problem,” you grin. “I’ll see you on Thursday.” 

“Thursday,” he agrees. You have class twice a week since it’s a language course, and you’re sure you’ll need both periods to get it down. 

“Have a good one! Gotta go.” 

“You have a class?” He wonders, and you stop before you can skip off. 

“Not exactly. My friends are meeting me at the library.” 

“Friends, mm. Well, have fun.” 

“Enjoy the candy,” you chirp and spin away, “buh bye.” 

You rush out and sweep into the hallway. For once, you’re not running behind. Heck, you might even beat Primrose to the library, although you might pick a table she doesn’t like. 

As you reach the front doors, you stop short at the odd breeze along your bum. You reach back and groan. No! Your skirt is rumbled up above your but, tucked into the underside of your panties from squirming in your seat. Gosh, you must’ve put on quite the display as your thigh highs do little to cover your ass. Literally. 

You just hope Professor Odinson didn’t notice.  

You fix your skirt and shake your head at yourself. You shouldn’t have worn the cropped denim jacket, you should’ve brought a shacket. Ugh, you always choose wrong! 

Your phone vibrates as you come down the steps onto even ground. You unlock it with one hand as your bag bounces over your hip. You have the font set to a size bigger than before. It's helping. 

Sigh. Primrose beat you to it. She’s always such a stickler. You reply that you’ll be there shortly and Olive echoes the sentiment, warning that she might be a few minutes late at her studio class. Good, it’ll take some heat off of you if you’re a bit behind the clock. 

You stop at the library cafe. They have a smaller selection than the campus cafe but you get an apple cinnamon muffin and a cider to match. You’re living your best life. 

As you come up the library entrance, you tuck your muffin into your bag, angling your arm awkwardly to do so. Your elbow hits something behind you and a grunt startles you. You drop the muffin and it misses your bag, the paper bag crinkling as it hits your foot. 

You bring your arm down as you look to your feet. The paper bag is scooped up by a large hand and you follow the arm up as the man stands straight. You gulp as you recognise him. You think. You squint. 

“Professor... Barkley?” You utter. 

“Barnes,” he growls and holds out the muffins. 

“Oop, I’m sorry,” you say as you take the bag, “thanks.” 

“You should be careful,” he says. 

“I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to--” 

“And watch where you’re going,” he growls and sidesteps you, giving you no opportunity for a response. 

He struts into the library and you turn to stare after him. Well, you weren’t exactly paying attention. You’d been more concerned about balancing your treats. You head in after him but are sure to turn in the other direction. 

You get your muffin safely in your bag and take out your phone. You ask Primrose where she is and she tells you she’s up on the second floor. You do your best to follow the other directions but you don’t get there before Olive. 

You sigh as you come up to them and set your paper cup down, “sorry, guys. I got a bit lost.” 

“And you got cider,” Primrose remarks. 

“I did,” you shrug as you sit. 

“It’s fine, Prim,” Olive tuts. “We’re just studying.” 

“Just studying,” Primrose shakes her head. “Not me. This professor. He gave me less than a day for my first lesson and now he’s sent back a grocery list of revisions, all while saying no more than a full sentence to me.” 

“Sounds like a butt!” You blow a raspberry. “My professors are pretty chill.” 

“That’s good,” Olive smiles, “mine too. But physics... I think it’s going to do me in. I haven’t taken it since Grade 12.” 

That’s not—oh,” you catch yourself. 

“Been a while,” Olive chuckles. “No worries, I know I’m old.” 

“Sorry,” you grab your cup and sip. 

“Cerise,” Primrose interrupts. “I can help with your Norse homework. I took that class last year. It’s a lot of work.” 

“Oh, thank you! Do you still have your notes? I kinda... didn’t get it all.” 

“Brought my binder,” she reaches for her bag. “I’ll hand it over if you go grab me one of those.” She taps your cup lid with her other hand. 

“Deal,” you agree. Thank god! This might not be as big a disaster as you feared. 

[chimcess]

Waterlog || pjm (4)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 11.8k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: ANGST, crying, mental health issues, talking about mental health, I'm so soft for them it's actually wild, best boyfriend Jimin, did I say angst????, past drug use, past alcohol addiction, past trauma talk, crying, anxiety, hand holding, touching as a love language, Jimin can't keep his hands to himself, he does try his best though, pining, sexual tension, banter, I love these two A/N: I know we're a couple of weeks late updating, but I've been very busy with moving so I haven't had the energy to write. I did a very quick edit, so this might not be perfect. I'm planning on coming back once I'm in my new place to do a full proofread. Hope you like the update!

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Hand clutching my phone, I sighed. All around me the airport buzzed with life. I had almost forgotten how hectic the Denver Airport was. A few feet away I saw a mother struggling to keep her children together while her husband scrolled on his phone. I must have made some sort of noise, subconsciously voicing my annoyance, because Jimin laughed.

“What’s going on, gran?” He teased, voice light. “See a couple of youngins on your lawn?”

I scoffed, tearing my eyes away from the family. “Just a shitty husband ignoring his children.”

He hissed, sucking in air through his teeth, “The worst kind of dude. Are you alright?”

Softening, I finally spotted my luggage on the conveyor belt. Twisting my torso, I did a light stretch and then quickly snatched the heavy bag up. “Not too anxious, right?”

He had been very worried about letting me come home for a visit. When I had originally brought it up he offered himself up for the job, but I was not a fan of that idea. My friends would definitely bring up our date and I did not want to deal with the awkwardness that would cause. Especially since we had yet to go on it. That would not matter to Hoseok, however, and the teasing would have been endless. Better to spare Jimin from their wrath for just a little while longer.

“I’m cool,” I replied, softening. “Just got my stuff from baggage claim. I’m going to let you go so I can call Andy.”

“Okay bug. See you in a few days.”

Harper had recently started calling me that, forgetting my real name and not caring enough to ask for it. Eloise had tried to scold her for it, but I told her I did not mind it. It caught on with Cameron not too long after that, and soon the entire Park family had started using the little nickname. Jimin thought it was adorable from the beginning but had only started using it after our talk the other night.

I laughed, “I’m going to call you tonight.”

“Aw,” I knew he had that stupid smile on his face. “Miss me that much?”

“Someone needs to make sure you’re staying out of trouble,” I replied, a confident pep in my step I had not had in years. “But yes, I do miss you.”

There was a pregnant pause. 

“I miss you too.”

I could feel my heart melting. I was still getting used to our new dynamic. On most days we were strictly business, and were able to set aside the very large, very apparent elephant in the room. It was not until we had finished with work that those roles dropped, and we were able to just be us. 

Ever since my confession in the car Jimin spoke a hell of a lot more. Apparently, he had a hard time keeping his feelings to himself and chose to talk a little less in order to avoid a slip up. He wanted to give us both a little bit of time to get to know one another before springing his crush on me.

“Going soft, kid?” Playing things off with humor was Jimin’s thing, but it had slowly started to rub off on me. “It’s only two days.”

“I know,” He pouted. “Call your friend. It’s cold and you’ll get sick.”

“Hey,” I cut the teasing tone I had, “You’re not upset I came here by myself, right?”

“No,” He chuckled with an unmistakable fondness. “I’m just messin’ with you. I’m not ready to meet your friends and you need some alone time. We’re good, I promise.”

I sighed in relief, “Okay. Good. I’m going to go now. Talk to you later?”

“Call me when you can,” He replied, voice light.

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye, bug.”

I was disappointed to hear the line go dead but knew I could aimlessly walk around this airport all day if given the chance, so long as he was there with me. Trying to get my thoughts back on track, I sent a text to Andy asking if she was here yet. If not, I was already making plans to call Jimin back.

Andy: I’m parked in 5 near C Gates

Andy: Be careful

Andy: Saw a lady almost get hit by a car just now

Me: See you in a sec

Me: Should I be worried?

I knew she was trying to make a joke, but car accident punchlines never went over all that well with me. Even if I knew the chances of that happening to me were almost zero, I really did not want to have a panic attack in the airport parking lot. 

Andy: Not at all. I’m so sorry for even saying anything. I can come meet you at the doors if you want.

Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Sigh of relief. I was fine. 

Me: I appreciate you

Me: Is babygirl here?

Dani would help the spike of anxiety dissipate. The girl was fearless and was sure to be distracting enough to keep me from paying attention to the oncoming traffic. I suddenly wished that Jimin was here. He always knew what to do.

Andy: Jin and I are weak

Andy: We let her play hooky

Bobbing and weaving through bodies, I tossed my phone into my purse and made my way out of the airport. The arrivals station was packed, and I would need to take the automated train to where Andrea was parked. It was my least favorite part about this airport, but it beat Dallas-Fort Worth by a landslide. I had gotten lost in that airport more times than I could count. 

Three minutes later I was getting out of the train and stepping into C Gates. I could smell Auntie Anne’s and felt my mouth begin to water. Checking my clock, I decided it would not hurt to make a quick spot for lunch. Andy would appreciate it and I knew Dani loved their pretzel dog. 

There was a little less traffic in C Gates. More of the expensive airlines let out here, and all you could see were business professionals pacing back and forth. A family on vacation bumped into me while I was waiting in line, and I almost gave up my spot when their toddler started screaming. 

“No, no,” His mother insisted, her hair a mess on the top of her head. “Between the girls and my mom, we’ll be here all day. Go ahead, sweetie.”

Two little girls danced around me as we waited, the line moving at a snail's pace due to the airport being understaffed. They asked me questions incessantly, and while their mother had tried her best to keep them in line, I told her I was fine with the extra attention. I loved kids and the girls were harmless. The boy in her arms kept repeating “pizza” and soon an elderly woman joined them. 

If the girls talked a lot, they had nothing on grandma. Not only did she never shut her mouth, she was loud and obnoxiously laughing every few seconds. The boy was quick to beg to be in her arms and mom got a break. She was back to attempting to corral the girls, but again they did not really listen. 

“They’re only like this when my mom’s around,” She sighed, frustrated and tired. “We’re meeting up with their father and they’re all a little restless.”

“It’s no bother,” I lied. The girls really were not that bad. Just a couple of four-year-olds having fun. The only person who was really getting on my nerves was her mother, but I was not about to say that. “Better to get it out now than in the car, right?”

She cracked a tired smile, “Right.”

Finally, it was my turn to order. The young girl behind the counter gave me an award-winning smile while another young blonde was in the back getting all of the orders out.

“Hi, welcome to Auntie Anne’s. How can I help you today?”

“Can I get one original pretzel, one cinnamon sugar pretzel, and a pretzel dog combo with a lemonade and cheese,” Glancing behind me, I sighed. “Throw in a pizza pretzel, two orders of pretzel nuggets, and whatever else the family behind me wants.”

She smiled, blue eyes twinkling prettily in the bright lights. Turning around I waved the mother over and told her to get something for her and her mother. She put up a small fight, but eventually gave in when she realized I had already put our orders together.

“Thank you so much,” I thought she might burst into tears when my card was approved. “You really didn’t need to do that.”

I shrugged, “It was nothing. Have a nice vacation.”

Walking to the pickup area, my order was already waiting for me. With nothing more than a simple wave, I left the dysfunctional family behind. The grandmother’s loud thank you seemed to echo off of the airport walls, but it was a little less grating now that I knew I would never hear it again. 

Andy threw herself at me when I finally made it outside, little Dani wrapping her arms around my legs with squeals of delight louder than her mother’s. Taking her pretzel, Andy gave me a fat, wet kiss on the cheek and told Dani she could eat in the car. 

“How’s gymnastics, girlie?” I asked the little girl once we were in the car. “Still kicking ass?”

“No,” She laughed. “I quit, like, forever ago. Appa put me in ballet classes.”

I gave Andy a look. The red head rolled her eyes, fixing me with a knowing look. I had been telling Jin to put her in dance for years.

“It’s been two weeks and she’s already trying to talk him into figure skating.”

“You’re a little hustler, huh?” I reached into the back, squeezing her knee. Dani giggled, angling her body away from mine. She was very ticklish. “Keep at it. You know your dad’s a sucker.”

Dani laughed, “My vovó says the same thing.”

We listened to Olivia Rodrigo on our way to the Kim house. Hoseok and Matilda had planned a huge coming back party for me, and from what it sounded like, I was going to meet Tilly’s new boyfriend. 

“Anything I need to know about Max?” I asked.

Andy was almost as in the dark about the guy as I was but was able to tell me he was a tattoo artist from California. The two of them met at Frank’s bookstore and by the end of their conversation Max had managed to get her out to dinner and in his bed. It was a whirlwind romance, one that made me feel uneasy about its foundation, but I was still obligated to be happy for my friend. They could be soulmates for all I knew, and I was not about to judge anybody else for their version of a first date.

“I don’t want to talk about tattoo guy anymore,” Andy whined playfully, turning up the radio when “Good 4 U” came on. “I need to know more about your little boyfriend.”

I groaned, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

This was why I was so adamant Jimin stayed away. We had yet to have a real talk about what we were, choosing to wait for our first date to iron out those details, but no one in my circle seemed to understand. All they heard was the word date and suddenly wedding bells started going off. 

“Stop deflecting. We both know he’s your boyfriend, official or not,” She laughed, stealing looks at her daughter in the rearview. “What’s he like?”

It was a hard question to answer. On the one hand, I felt like I knew him better than anybody else, but I was self aware enough to know I didn’t. His body language, the way he looked when he beat his best time, and all of his preferred gear were seared into my mind. The movies he liked, his favorite albums, and all of the best tv shows ever made. He went to college. He was the sweetest, kindest, most understanding person I had ever met, and yet… he still felt far away. The shadows that oftentimes clouded his vision were still a mystery to me, and when he came into practice with a lost look on his face, I felt helpless. I knew him and yet I didn’t.

“He’s quiet,” I finally landed on. “Very nice. Always willing to help other people out if he can. You’d like him.”

Andrea scoffed, “That’s it? The first guy you’ve dated in years and all you can tell me is I’d like him?”

“We’re still getting to know each other,” I sighed. “What do you want to know?”

We spent the rest of the car ride going over the last two months' worth of pining. I told her about Fiona, Jimin’s family, and all of my new friends. She almost pissed herself laughing when I told her about the night he asked me out, making so many Hoseok and Tilly jokes I had a difficult time focusing on the story. Andrea seemed to be finished with her interrogation when we pulled up at her house. 

Dani ran to the front door, her excitement about the party making any discomfort I had disappear. It was hard to feel uncomfortable with her around. Taking my hand in hers, the little girl shifted her weight from foot to foot, shouting at her mom to hurry up, and opening the front door anyway. Andy told her to calm down, and I just chuckled and went along with it.

The living room was filled with all of my favorite people, a large ‘welcome home’ sign hanging on the large, backwall. Underneath it was a huge table covered in food, a cake in the middle of it, and I had a feeling Sarah made it. Both her and Frank were the first people to notice me, their faces lighting up, and I let go of Dani’s hand in favor of embracing the elderly couple. The rest of the party comers erupted their voices loud and filled with love as they took turns passing me around. 

“Missed you, Otter,” Hoseok murmured in the crook of my neck, hands secured around my waist.

“Missed you more,” I replied, releasing him and catching Tilly. “Jeez, girl. Trying to kill me?”

“Come meet Max,” She replied, dragging me away from Hoseok.

Max was a tall, lanky guy with black hair that fell down his back. His clothes were on the baggier side, all black, and I recognized the band on his t-shirt from the shit Matilda liked to listen to in the car. He smiled at me, and I was surprised to see him rocking adult braces. He introduced himself, his voice deep and warm, and shook my hand. They were baby soft and covered in tattoos. 

“It’s great to see you,” I replied, genuinely meaning it. If I had to picture a guy more perfect for Tilly, I would come up empty handed. “Thanks for coming.”

He flushed, impossibly pale skin turning a bright shade of red reminding me of Jimin. 

“Anything for Mattie,” He replied.

Huh, he had his own nickname for her and everything. I would need to hang out with Max more before I could say if I liked him or not, but so far, I had a good feeling. Andrea’s worries seemed a bit silly now. They really liked each other, and Tilly’s heartbreaking, dimpled smile made me feel more confident in her partner. They would be just fine. 

The party was fun, and I ate more spinach and artichoke dip than was healthy. Hoseok and I talked about my afterschool visit tomorrow. The boys had a swim meet Saturday and the two of us were hoping we could tag team in order to iron out any issues they had been having. I was being placed in charge of the freshmen while Hoseok made sure the other kids were feeling confident and ready for the meet.

"Let's party!" Frank boomed, lifting a beer into the air.

I laughed, "Be careful, old timer. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

I thought of Jimin again. That sounded like something he would say. Surrounded by the people I loved, I laughed hard and partied harder. The plates of food came one right after the other, and I was happy that I still had a place here. Falling back into my step, I fit seamlessly back into the fold.

"Dance with me," Hoseok demanded, tipsy and red-faced.

"It's your toes," I replied, taking his head and letting him take the lead.

The other couples were already dancing and hooped and hollered as I awkwardly followed the steps. I was not always a bad dancer but lost some of my rhythm in the accident. Hoseok never minded and let me step on his feet without a single complaint.

"You look happy," He commented, spinning me around.

I smiled, "I am."

He smiled back, wincing when I stomped down on his toes again. I apologized, but he just held my hand a little tighter and kept moving. I hummed along to the song, filled with joy. He spun me again, and finally let me go when I slammed into Jin.

"Go get some cake or something," He laughed. "You're too dangerous to be out here."

I rolled my eyes, "I tried to tell you. It's your fault you don't listen."

"Don't need you anyway. I have enough swag for the both of us."

I watched, thoroughly amused from the sidelines, as he moon-walked around the living room.

I left just before midnight after staying behind to help Andy and Jin clean up. The others left a few hours before to get back to Denver at a decent time. My house looked the same as always, dark and empty, but I could tell the landscapers had been around. The grass was recently cut and edged.

The silence inside was deafening. I had always known my place was too big for one person, but after spending so much time in my little she-shed at the Andersons’ house, everything here just felt excessive. Tossing my keys in the bowl beside the door, I wiped my eyes and decided to just head to bed. I would only be here for three days. I would be back in Saline before I knew it.

Dragging my body upstairs, this sudden depression-filled fatigue made my shoulders feel ten times heavier. A chilling, almost insidious, hollowness began to spread across my body. I knew this feeling all too well and it made me feel pathetic. Could I not be on my own anymore? Had I really grown that attached to my life in Michigan? Finally getting into my bedroom, I realized that I had.

Saline was perfect. Living in Colorado Springs has always bothered me. The people here held more traditional values and making friends was difficult. I had Andy and Jin, but they were both very busy people. Andrea was a full-time nurse, Jin’s schedule was somehow even more erratic than his wife’s, and when they were off, they wanted to spend time with Dani. I was lucky if I saw them once every two weeks. 

Hoseok, Tilly, and Minho all lived in Denver, and while I saw them more often due to the meetings with Frank and Sarah dragging me into the city, it was not like we hung out every time I was out there. Days would go by with me speaking at all, and most of my weekends were spent in bed sleeping. Working at the school helped, but I would never claim anyone from the swim team to be a friend. I was not in the habit of befriending children.

Living in Saline was different. Jimin was always there to make me laugh, and when he wasn’t, I had people like Taehyung and Sam to keep me company. Giselle was young, but we got along so well I often forgot about the difference in age between the two of us. Megan and Yoongi were Michigan’s own version of Andy and Jin, and I could see myself becoming good friends with them given enough time. No one had kids, no one was too busy trying to keep up with crazy expenses, and I could find a little house away from the rest of the world to spend my life in.

I thought of the Parks, a family who I had come to love more than I thought was possible, and the Andersons who took me in and always tried to make me feel comfortable. Eloise and her kindness. Luna and Cameron. All of them. I loved and adored every single one of them, and it was then that I finally let myself really think about what I wanted.

Did I want to come back here after I was finished with the season? Did I really want this massive house if it meant I had no one to share it with? No, I decided. Stripping out of my clothes, the numbness was being replaced with a different strange feeling. It felt suspiciously like hope. Excitement came to me so rarely it was foreign and odd, but nice all the same. Jittery, I took my phone out of my pants pocket.

“Hello?” Jimin’s voice was scratchy when he finally picked up.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yes, but it’s okay,” I could hear him shuffling around in his bed. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, climbing into bed. Then, without thinking, I blurted, “I think I want to move to Michigan.”

I held my breath as I waited for his response. There was no telling how this conversation would go, but I was hopeful. Even if this whole date thing did not go very well, I was positive that we would be able to move past it with a little bit of time. We worked well together and if he was comfortable with it then we could continue working together. Regardless, there was always coaching at a school.

“Like, permanently?”

I nodded but after a moment of silence remembered he could not see me.

“Yeah.”

My stomach started to churn. As the silence on the other end began to stretch, the excitement I felt before faded. Even if I said Jimin and I could get past a potentially awkward break up of sorts, I would not pretend that the thought did not make me physically ill. We would never be the same if that happened. It would be something to think about if it came to pass before the Olympics was over.

“Did something happen?” He finally asked, and I could hear the genuine worry in his tone. “Are you okay?”

The fear shifted to hurt, irritation, and anger, making my eyebrows knit together.

“I’m fine,” I could not keep the bite from my voice. It was petty and wrong of me, but his insinuation that I was not in my right mind was insulting. It made me feel like a child. “Just- forget I said anything. I don’t know what I’m even talking about.”

“Don’t do that,” His steady calmness made me even angrier. “I’m only asking you because it came out of the blue, not because I’m not happy with the idea.”

Now I just felt silly. Here I was making these small revelations, waking him up from his sleep, and then getting snippy because he did not respond the way I had wanted him to. Ugh, I wasn’t even his girlfriend yet and I’m acting like Darcy. A shiver went down my spine. That was an insult above all others.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, the attitude from a few seconds before gone as quickly as it came. “I got defensive for no reason. Sorry.”

He chuckled, the sound barely audible over the phone.

“I forgive you. Now, why do you want to pack your life up for good?”

That made me laugh. It was a sad, pitiful sound. One that did not hold my usual spunk. One I don’t think Jimin had ever heard before. It was impossible to feel sad when he was around.

“I forgot how quiet my house is,” I admitted softly. “I love my friends, but I think coming back just reminded me of how easily I was able to fall back into the routine of it all. Jin and Andy are parents, Tilly has a new boyfriend, and Hoseok and Minho are always so busy with their own lives that I don’t see any of them as often as I would like to.”

Turning on my side, I blinked back a few tears.

“It might sound stupid, but I really do love Saline. I like how busy I am and all of my friends. I bought this place with the hopes of kids and a dog one day, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen, and now it’s just rooms collecting dust. I just-” I let a tear fall, my emotions starting to bubble over. “I don’t like how lonely it feels out here.”

“Doesn’t sound like you like it there. Have you always felt like this?” He asked.

I shook my head, the tears free falling in between sniffles and shaky breaths.

“Not always. Ever since Namjoon died things have been weird. There was a point when I felt suffocated because no one would leave me alone, and then one day everything resumed, and I just got left behind. It was like I woke up and two years just passed me by.”

Jimin comforted me while I cried, telling me how much he hated to hear me so upset, while I worked on calming down. There had been a time in my life when I was not so emotional, but therapy had opened up a whole new side of myself I didn't know existed. Rubbing my face, I sniffled and sank deeper into my mattress. For now, the waterworks had stopped.

“You were recovering,” He soothed. “Your body needed time to heal, and you were traumatized. I don’t think anyone can blame you for zoning out for a bit.”

I hummed, “I know. Doesn’t make it easier to swallow.”

“I know how you feel. When I pulled out of the Olympics last time there was a part of me that felt like a huge failure, but my dad was there to help get my head back on straight. He doesn’t seem like it, but he’s a really great shoulder to cry on.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” My voice was like sandpaper. “James is the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

I felt heavy. Worn. Used. My eyes begged for me to shut them, but we were just getting back into safer waters, and I didn’t want to burst the bubble. I yawned, covering my mouth and hoping Jimin could not hear the sound. He had gone quiet.

“Can I ask you something?” Jimin’s voice broke through the comfortable silence that had formed around us. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Shoot,” I forced myself to smile.

“What happened to Namjoon?”

I closed my eyes. This was something I knew would come up sooner or later. My lip wobbled uncontrollably as the second wave of tears crashed over me. I hated talking about this, but I knew it was going to come up sooner or later. Jimin deserved the truth, and honestly, I wanted to tell him. Being vulnerable with someone felt good. Being vulnerable with Jimin was divine. He was always so ready and willing to go along with things, listening and watching my every move, and trying his best to understand me. It was refreshing. It was nice. It was familiar.

“Was he in the accident with you?” He asked and his voice was so, so gentle. 

“Yeah,” I croaked, finally finding my voice. “I went out with some of my friends and got pretty drunk. I was tired and ready to go home, but my ride didn’t want to go home yet. So, I called Joon.”

I sucked in a deep, loud breath. Jimin told me I could stop, that I didn’t owe him anything, but I ignored him. This wasn’t about owing him. This was about letting the guy I liked get to know me. This story was a part of who I was, as fucked up as that may sound, and I wanted him to get to know this facet of my life as deeply as he knew the present day one. 

“Anyway,” I continued. “He offered to come and pick me up. Twenty minutes later I’m getting into his car and we’re on our way home. We’d just gotten engaged and bought our first house together- things were perfect. I had never been happier.

“We ended up taking the long way home because of an accident on the interstate. It was my idea, and Namjoon had a knack for going along with whatever I wanted. We were only two minutes away from the house when we got hit.”

I took a few deep breaths and wiped my face. Jimin was quiet on the other end. After a minute or two, I jumped back into the story.

“There was a four-way intersection around the corner from our place. Our light was green when we drove up. I don't think he thought to check if there was another car coming. He never even saw the truck. He, uh, died on impact.”

“Jesus,” Jimin breathed.

“The other guy was drunk as hell behind the wheel. Not paying attention. Funny thing is, he was the only person who didn’t get critically injured. Just a broken arm and a concussion. He wrapped our car around a light pole. My leg was pinned between the car and the light, and the airbag is what caused the brain injury.”

Jimin cursed under his breath, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah,” I gritted out. “Me too.”

He let me cry for a little while, saying over and over again how sorry he was and how he wished he was in Colorado with me. I did not have anything to say to him. It felt like my chest had been ripped open and my heart was on full display. 

I never questioned how quickly we went from barely talking, to joking around, to sitting up late at night on the phone talking about life. It just happened. Clutching my phone in my hand, I let out a deep breath and held back any more tears from falling. I never said it, but I wished he was here, too.

“Hey,” His voice was gentle when he spoke, so fragile and sweet, that I had to force down the sobs threatening to come out. “I just want to say I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. You wanting to move here is probably the best thing I’ve heard all fucking year, but I just didn’t want to sway your decision.”

Sniffling, I tried to tell him I wasn’t upset, but he shut me down almost immediately.

“Let me finish,” His voice did not leave room for argument. “I know I don’t act like I’m insecure, but I am. I can be selfish and self-centered, and I’ve always had to really work on those parts of myself.”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” I mumbled, curling into a ball beneath my blankets. 

“Like I said, I can be a very selfish person,” He sighed. “There was this part of my brain just wanting to hear you say you were coming here and staying with me for forever. I didn’t want that to take over the narrative. And- no offense, but if you did move all the way out here just to date me, I think I’d be a little creeped out honestly.”

I snorted. Hearing that he felt the need to explain any of that to me felt like a small win, even if it did make an alarm go off in my head. It took courage to be that open and honest with another person, especially someone who just cried their eyes out. His compassion and understanding never failed to amaze me, and I was grateful he trusted me enough to let me into his mind for once. Still, it did not make the creep comment any less funny.

“Don’t laugh,” He whined, unable to stop himself from chuckling. “I’m being serious.”

“So do you want me to be a creepy stalker or not?” I joked, hoping to lighten up the mood. “Make up your mind, kid.”

“I think I just want you to be yourself,” I melted. “That’s been working out just fine so far. I mean, if you are a creepy stalker, you managed to get me to like you.”

“Mission accomplished,” I breathed, still reeling from his sweet words. “You better watch out, 007. There’s a new spy in town.”

“So, I’m Bond and you’re Joe Goldburg?”

“Exactly,” My cheeks hurt from how much I was smiling. “Penn Badgley would be a decent James Bond. He was really great in Margin Call.”

I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile.

“Holy shit, you actually watched it?”

Margin Call was one of Jimin's favorite movies from 2011. He kept a very large notebook filled with all of the movies he’s ever seen, along with ratings, and if he should ever watch them again. He went through it one day and came across the action film, rewatched it, and then spent most of the day talking my ear off about how great it is. 

“Someone I know was very passionate about it, and it managed to pique my curiosity.”

Jimin sighed, but I could not tell what emotion was behind it. Definitely was not anger or frustration. Not sadness either. 

 “What time are you getting back on Sunday?” He asked, and I could definitely hear the affectionate tone his voice had taken on.

“Um,” I thought about it for a moment. “Six, I think.”

“PM?” 

“Yeah,” I curled up under my blankets. It was beginning to get really cold inside, but I did not want to get up to turn the heat on. “I have to double check my flight times, but I know it’s somewhere around there. Why? What’s up?”

“I know we already made plans for next week, but I was thinking I could pick you up from the airport and we could go out.”

My face grew hot, “I don’t think I’ll be dressed for a date.”

“You always look great,” He assured me.

I laughed, nervous and embarrassed, “Thanks.”

We had originally planned our first date to be the weekend after I got back. Jimin was adamant about giving me an experience, and I had been more than happy to indulge him a little. He was just so cute when he got excited. We were running on a limited timeline right now, though, since he had an upcoming swimming fundraiser with Swim Across America in Allendale. The team was raising money for cancer research, and I was very excited to be there to show my support.

Moving the date up meant we would have less to do next weekend, unless Jimin still wanted to keep our plans in place, but it meant we could focus on the fundraiser instead of trying to juggle a date at the same time. 

“I hate to go, but I’m really tired,” Jimin yawned. Pulling my phone away from my ear I was startled by how late it was. “I’ll text you in the morning, okay?”

I apologized for keeping him up so late. “Promise I won’t do it again.”

He hummed, already beginning to fall asleep, “Don’t mind. You’re always welcome to bother me in the middle of the night.”

“Night Jimin,” I whispered, blood pumping.

“Night bug.”

There was one thing I missed about Colorado- how quickly the snow melted. Michigan was seeing more snow as each day went by, but here in the mountains they would not start seeing the worst of it until the spring. For the first time in a month, I was able to forgo my large, puffy jacket in favor of a long sleeve and jeans. Jimin found my excitement over this endearing, sending a slew of heart-eye emojis in response to the mirror photo I sent him.

It was almost the end of the day when I pulled into the high school parking lot. The entire front office erupted in excitement when I walked through the front doors, hugs and well wishes overwhelming me. Sandra, the receptionist, could have talked all day if I let her, and after signing in, I politely told them all I needed to meet up with Coach Jung. I lied about stopping by on my way out and only felt a little bad about it. They were way too much for me.

“They’re going to be so excited to see you,” Hoseok mumbled, a smile stretching across his face as loud teenage boys got closer and closer to the pool house. 

“I’m happy to see them, too,” I replied. “Should we wait until they change to make the grand reveal?”

He shook his head. “Would you rather hug now or when they’re in speedos.”

I shivered, disgusted by the mental image.

“Thanks for putting that in my head, you sick fuck.”

Choking on his spit, Hoseok bent over, laughing so hard he started to screech. His laughter reminded me of a ghost's wail and was contagious. We were both so wrapped up in our little bubble we did not notice the doors opening.

“Coach?”

Wiping my cheeks, I caught my breath and made eye contact with Jordan. Baby blue eyes widened while a large, dimple smile overtook his face. Behind him, Gabriel announced that I was here, and the room was filled with excitement. I was not much of a hugger, but I was happy to greet each boy with one. Gabriel hadn’t stopped speaking since catching sight of me and had a few accidental slip ups about how much he disliked Coach Jung.

Hoseok had alluded to that being their main issue right now. The boys were having a hard time adjusting to a new face and missed me dearly. To his credit, Hoseok admitted that he was still getting used to the coaching thing and made a couple mistakes his first few days here. He had made it a point to apologize to them for being a dick, but the teens hadn’t forgotten or forgiven him for his snappy attitude. Especially the two oldest.

“When are you coming back?” Marcus asked. 

I smiled sadly, “I’ll be out for the rest of the year.” The tall boy deflated, sending a nasty look Hoseok’s way. “But,” I was quick to fix my mistake, “I’m planning on making trips to assist Coach Jung throughout the year. I wanted to be here for your last meet, but something came up.”

That something had been Jimin’s birthday, and I was not going to risk missing his party.

Regardless, Marcus and the team were very happy to hear they would be seeing me. 

“I promise I’ll be here for graduation, too,” I added.

Gabriel offered to give me one of his tickets and I gratefully accepted the extended offer. We stood there and talked for at least fifteen minutes before I finally told them to get changed and into the water. Without protest, all twelve of them went to the locker room.

“You know,” Hoseok chuckled. “You're going to have to teach me how you manage to do that.”

“Cinnamon buns from Mountain Shadows,” I put on my whistle and grabbed my clipboard from my duffel bag. “They’ll be eating out of your hand in no time.”

The team was glowing. Jordan stood in the middle of the boys, a large smile on his face, as he praised them for giving the meet their best effort. Having another win under their belt, all of them were buzzing with excitement at a chance at nationals. They only needed to win three more competitions to qualify. 

For the first time since I arrived, the icy contempt they held for Hoseok seemed to thaw. It brought a smile to my face. If I did not come back next year, I had a feeling the boys would be getting along much better. 

“What’s for dinner?” Marcus asked, looking at me for an answer.

“Coach said something about burgers,” I replied, gesturing towards Hoseok. “You should ask him though. I could be wrong.”

Gabriel chimed in, “Yeah, we’re going to Bingo.”

My mouth watered. Bingo Burger was one of the best spots in town. Their fries were hot and crispy, and I loved their shakes. Mulling over my options for dinner, I always found myself stuck between the Gone Shroomin’ Burger and the Happy Hippie. For a vegan burger, that thing was really fucking good. Then again, a thick, juicy beef patty smothered in bacon, cheese, and mushrooms would hit the spot. Indecisive and bored, I fiddled around with my phone and somehow ended up texting Jimin.

Me: Gone Shroomin’ or Happy Hippie?

The noise on the bus was just in the background now and easy to tune out. Hoseok was laughing loudly with the freshmen while the two seniors were in a quiet conversation in the seat in front of me. Marcus and his girlfriend broke up recently. I stopped paying attention once my phone vibrated.

Jimin: No idea what that means

Jimin: Gone Shroomin I guess

I bit my lip, suppressing a smile.

Me: We’re going for celebration burgers

Me: The boys won and Hobi is treating them since we’re out in Pueblo and not getting back to the Springs until after dinner.

Jimin: Speaking of food… I was thinking we could get some BBQ on Sunday

“Y/N!” Hoseok called, making me look up from my phone. “Tell your boyfriend you’ll call him later.”

“We need you to be the tiebreaker,” Twig chirped.

“What for?” I sighed, glancing down at my screen.

Jimin: Have you been to Union Rec yet? It’s BBQ and a taqueria

Me: No but I’m always down for a burrito

“Do mermaids have gills?” Twig asked.

Fully pulled out of my phone, I flipped it around and gave the boys my undivided attention. 

“Of course not. They’re mammals, so it would be a blowhole.”

Hoseok clapped his hands, “Thank you! That’s exactly what I said.”

Sliding further down in the booth, I closed my eyes and drowned them out again. Colorado’s air was so dry and crisp I was having to get used to the altitude change. I missed how wet and cold Michigan was. Smiling to myself, I remembered how much I hated it when I first landed. So much has changed…

Shuffling, I made myself more comfortable. We were only thirty minutes out from the Springs now, and we would be at Bingos right on time for Hoseok’s reservations. Feeling myself growing tired, I sunk even further into the booth. Eyes heavy, I let them slip closed, and slept for the rest of the bus ride.

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I smoothed down my skirt for the millionth time. The gray sweater I had thrown on seemed too casual now that I was looking at myself, but I did not know what else to do. It was a laundry day, but when I went to put my clothes in the dryer it refused to turn on. Violet said they needed a new one anyway, but that did little to improve my mood. The pretty red dress I wanted to wear was soaking wet and hanging from the shower rod to dry. I played with the skin on my lip, willing the black and gray outfit to somehow look nicer. On the other side of the phone, Andy sighed.

“You look fine,” She insisted, running her hand through her auburn hair. “Do a cute hairstyle and put on a nice pair of earrings, and you’ll be golden.”

“You don’t think it’s too plain?” I had asked her this five times now, and each time I got that same reply. “I mean, do I look like I’m going to a funeral?”

“The guy has seen you in sweats and no makeup and still wanted to take you out. Do you honestly think he cares about the color of your outfit?”

She had a point. Finally deciding to cave in and give up on my obsession, I took her advice to do something with my hair. A few of the strands were beginning to look silver, and my sideburns were looking paler every day, but after Hoseok told me he was starting to see a few grays, I decided to leave them be. If we were both going to be silver foxes, I liked the idea of doing it together.

“Are you wearing heels?”

“No,” I shook my head. I picked my phone up and went to my bedroom to find a pair of earrings. “It’s too icy. Silver or gold?”

She thought about it for a second, her face scrunched up cutely. 

“Silver.”

I landed on some thick, gun-metal hoops. They matched the color of the sweater perfectly and did not take away from my face too much. I had spent too much time on looking this nice to have an accessory dominate. Andy was happy with my choice.

I had gotten back a little earlier than I originally thought I would, and asked Jimin if it was okay that I meant him at the restaurant out here instead of making him drive all the way to Detroit to pick me up. He had put up a bit of a fight about it but relented when I said I was hoping we could hang out at his house after dinner. I said I wanted to get myself home, but I was really trying to see how bad the drive was from his place to mine. The thought of spending more time in his space made me feel like a teenage girl.

“How’s ballet going?” I slipped on a pair of black tights. It was freezing outside, and I wanted to have as many layers on as possible. “Has Dani made any progress in getting her figure skating career started?”

Andrea laughed but said that her daughter was getting closer to her goal every day. Jin was weak and did anything the little girl wanted if he could. This was the only issue they were both bull-headed about. Jin wanted to teach her to be responsible and follow through on things, and Dani was tired of preparing for figure skating. She wanted to be on the ice and her dad was afraid of pushing her too far too young. I was most definitely a team Dani instigator, and it was a point of contention between Seokjin and I.

“What did you think of Max?”

I smiled. That boy was definitely a character. The gang and I had a nice dinner before I left Colorado, and Tilly brought along Mr. Tattoo guy. He was quiet and when he did talk, he always had something completely random and out of the blue to say. He fascinated me and when everyone started huddling in their own groups to chat, I turned most of my attention to the new guy. 

He was a sweetheart, and it was a nice change of pace getting to know him. He hated being called Peter (his first name), went to college for nuclear engineering, and became a tattoo artist on a whim. A buddy of his wanted a new piece, paid Max to draw it, and trusted the guy with a tattoo gun. He was an apprentice in San Francisco for three years before moving to Denver to open up his own shop. For all of his eccentricity, he was very successful and down to Earth.

“He’s good for her,” I finally replied, zipping up my Doc Martens, I checked the time. I would have to leave soon. “I’m just happy there’s no drama between her and Hobi.”

It had been a year since they officially broke up, but I knew they fell into bed with one another a handful of times since then. Hoseok and I had talked about their weird relationship on one too many drunken nights, the swimmer the only person able I liked enough to force a glass of whiskey down. Tilly knew that I knew and would vent to me sometimes. They loved each other, knew one another better than anybody else, and it was easy to fall back into each other since we were in the same circle.

 I doubted Andy knew anything about that, we tried our best to keep her out of the loop, but she always said that they still had lingering feelings. I hoped Hoseok was handling this news well. He seemed fine, happy even, so I just rolled with it. If he had a problem, I was sure I would have heard about it by now.

“Speaking of Hoseok,” The humorous tone in Andy’s voice caught my full attention. “Apparently, Jin saw him at The Rabbit Hole with some blonde girl before you got into town. He just remembered to tell me last night.”

This was news to me. Wracking my brain, I tried to figure out if he had brought up a date, or even a person he might be interested in, but nothing came up. Shrugging, I let it go. It was probably just some girl he picked up at the bar. Still, that would be an expensive date.

“He hasn’t told me anything about that,” I murmured.

“Might be why he’s not bothered by new boyfriend.”

I laughed, “Or it could be that they’ve moved on.”

“Oh, please,” She pulled a face, eyes rolling to the back of her head. “We all know that’s not true. At least, not until recently.”

“Regardless,” I sighed, grabbing my purse and walking out of the front door. “It’s none of our business. If they’re happy that’s all that matters.”

Andy raspberried, “Boo. I hate it when you’re all mature and adult-like.”

“And right,” I joked. “Don’t forget about that part.”

Locking up my little house, I made my way through the Anderson’s. Violet was watching the Golden Girls on the couch while Calvin was reading a book beside her. It was a sweet scene that made me smile. I wanted what they had. 

I gave them a smile and wave as I passed by. Violet returned it in full, her eyes kind and gentle, before going back to her show. Calvin put his book down and asked what time I was planning on coming back. He wanted to keep an eye out for my car.

“Around midnight,” I replied, moving my phone away from my mouth. Andrea was rambling about the new doctor on staff. I trusted her disdain enough to know he was a huge dick. “See you two tomorrow.”

“Be safe out there,” He replied, going back to his copy of The Catcher and the Rye.

Andy and I were on the phone for the entire car ride into Ann Arbor. I enjoyed hearing her voice, the small distraction welcome when I felt my anxiety spike. Thankfully it was a Sunday night, and the streets were somewhat empty.

Once I got into the downtown area, I drowned out her voice completely. Andrea never minded. She just kept talking like I hadn’t stepped out of whatever conversation we were just having. Never got mad when I kept asking her to repeat herself either. She was a wonderful friend to me, and I was grateful to have her in my life. If I moved to Saline, she would be the person I missed the most.

I still hadn’t talked to anyone else about the possibility of moving. I was not sure how they would react, and I needed to have my mind made up before giving any of them the news. While I knew Andy and Jin would be supportive, and Tilly and Minho wouldn’t really care all that much (it just gave them an excuse to vacation in Michigan), it was Hoseok I was most on the fence about.

With him it could go either way. He would either be really happy and supportive or call me crazy. It came from a place of love, and I respected his opinion more than any of the others, so I had to be completely sure of myself before getting into something like that with him. If he thought for a second I was rushing into things he would go into overprotective, big brother mode and kill all of my excitement. He might even be able to change my mind if he fought hard enough. 

Pulling up to the restaurant, I was impressed by the sheer size of it. One half looked like an old warehouse while the other half was a small, white bricked building. A red neon sign glowed in the night and a large party was hanging out outside of the building. I could see Jimin in their little group and smiled. He was a very popular man in this area and was able to make new friends wherever he went. If I had to guess, he knew someone and is now best friends with all of them.

“Hey, I just got to the restaurant. I’m going to let you go.”

“Okay, baby,” Andy replied. “Have fun. Talk to you later.”

“Text you when I get home,” I replied. 

Andy was as hypervigilant about getting texts as I was. She was on staff at the hospital when Namjoon and I first arrived. I can’t remember anything from that night after getting in Joon’s car, but when Jin and I spoke about it he said Andy was one of the nurses having to help triage me. She had to be physically pulled away from my body once the doctors found out about our connection, but the image of my body that night is burned into her mind. She was the person who took care of me the most upon release and quit her job at the hospital for a little while in order to make sure I was well taken care of. Calls and texts were just our thing now and I always felt horrible for being part of such a traumatic event for her.

“Love you,” She said.

“Love you too,” I replied, hanging up.

Getting out of my car, I locked the doors and made my way over to Jimin. He caught sight of me before I reached the small group and broke out into a huge, heart stopping smile. Unable to stop myself, I smiled back and waved awkwardly. He said something to the group before meeting me halfway. 

“Hey, you,” He said, wrapping his arms around me. “You look really pretty.”

I laughed nervously, squeezing his waist. “Thanks. I tried my best.”

Pulling away, I was able to admire him a bit better. He was wearing light jeans tonight, a rarity as he preferred sweatpants and slacks, and a black t-shirt. A leather jacket was a staple in his wardrobe, and he always said they kept him warm enough. I never believed him. As always, everything was a tight fit and showed off his body perfectly. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I said once my appraisal was finished. “Nice boots. Where’d you get them?”

He looked down at the black, Chelsea boots and shrugged, “Nordstrom, I think. Taehyung got them for me a few Christmases ago.”

Of course he did.

“Let’s go inside. I’m cold.”

Jimin laughed, “My apologies, ma’am.”

The restaurant was packed, but Jimin had arrived thirty minutes early to get us on their waitlist, so I only had to wait five minutes for our table to be ready. Jimin brushed off the gesture as first date etiquette, but I knew better. The kid was late to everything and yet he got here early so I wouldn’t have to stand outside in the cold. It almost made me reach out and hold his hand, but my nerves got the best of me. We were at our table before I could gather up some courage, leaving a disappointed, bitter taste in my mouth.

“I’m feeling Disco Fries as an app. You?”

Searching the menu for them, I nodded. “That sounds really good.”

We were quiet for a few minutes as we decided on what we wanted. The menu here was rather large, filled with Mexican foods and copious BBQ items. Having never been here before I had no clue what was good and what hasn’t, but from how many people were here I had to assume nothing was bad.

“Know what you want?” Jimin asked, breaking the silence.

I shook my head, “No idea. What about you?”

“I get the same thing every time I come,” He laughed. “The Korean BBQ Burger is really fucking good. I also like the enchiladas.”

Finding both items, my mouth watered. Everything sounded amazing, but I wanted to get a little out of my comfort zone. I just had burgers yesterday, so I was not feeling that. Maybe BBQ? Looking at the options, I shook my head. I could not eat a half pound of anything. Biting the dry skin on my lips, my brain felt like it was working on overdrive. Too many options.

“Welcome to Union Rec,” I jumped a little, startled. “I’m Annie and I’ll be your server tonight.”

My eyes locked with a pair of baby blues, and I immediately recognized her. She was the brunette from the bar a couple of months ago. Eyes sliding from me, she landed on Jimin and the bored expression on her face morphed into one of pure bliss. I did not understand why she had given me that nasty look back then, but it was much clearer to me now. She had a thing for Jimin. Remembering she had a boyfriend, one she screamed at over the phone, it made me feel nauseous. Poor Tom.

“Oh my gosh, Christian. What are you doing here?” She asked, sneaking a look at me.

“Got a hot date,” He replied cheekily, gesturing his hand my way. “You remember Y/N, right?”

She gave me one of those tight-lipped, fake smiles. I returned the favor. I was not really jealous per say, Jimin’s declaration making any possibility of that disappear, but I did not appreciate anyone trying to make me feel small. I was a gold medalist. I was a fucking Olympian. Whoever the hell this chick thought she was, I would make sure she never thought for a second she got under my skin. 

“Yeah, we met at Brecon’s,” Annie replied, completely ignoring me. “Thought she was your coach.”

Jimin either did not catch the insult or he was choosing to ignore it. His smile was still just as pleasant as it was when we first sat down. I envied his ability to keep his emotions so controlled. I knew I must have been glaring at the poor girl.

“She is,” He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean she’s not my girlfriend. Are you taking our order or…?”

Annie spluttered for a second before regaining her composure. All affection in her eyes was gone and replaced by irritation. It was definitely directed at me, but Jimin’s dismissal must have stung. I was happy to be rid of her. Putting in our order for Disco fries, Jimin got a Sprite and Annie left before I could ask for a drink. Sipping on my complimentary water, I forced myself to breathe in and out. She was just a petty, annoyed girl with a crush. That was all. So, what if she was being rude? I was fine. Everything was fine. After the fifth sip, I actually believed it.

Trying to keep my tongue in check, I went back to looking through the menu. Finally able to make a choice, I decided on the birria beef ramen and closed the menu. Hopefully little miss Annie wouldn’t spit in it. Hot again, I took another long sip of water.

“Excuse me.”

Jimin flagged down another waiter, a pleasant smile on his face. Confused, I put down the glass and raised an eyebrow. He winked at me before laying the charm on thick. 

“Hey Marty. Would you mind if we got a different server?”

The young girl nodded frantically, “Of course. Is everything okay?”

Jimin smiled, eyes like crescents. “Everything is fine. Just Annie on her bullshit. Don’t want to get her fired by talking to your dad.”

Marty rolled her eyes, “Figures. I’ll tell her I’m taking care of you guys. Just don’t expect me to be running around for you, man. I have an entire section by myself.”

“I want privacy anyway,” Jimin replied, smirking at me. “Thanks. I’ll tip you well.”

She laughed, “Just make sure you put it in my hand. That bitch has been stealing tips. Cosette is trying to convince pops to fire her, but you know how he is about the girl.”

Jimin shook his head, “I already know. Can you get my girl a drink? Annie ran off without taking her order.”

Marty looked at me, her deadpan stare making me burst into laughter. Apparently, it wasn’t just me. That helped. 

“Sorry about her. She’s a massive bitch. What can I get you?”

I smiled, my mood a million times better, “Iced tea, please.”

“You got it, babe. You ready to order?”

Marty took our orders and promised to be back with my drink soon. 

“How do you two know each other?” I asked Jimin, finishing off my water.

“We were in the same class back in high school. Her mom owns that flower shop on Michigan Avenue.”

That was surprising. I was positive the girl was no older than eighteen. She reminded me of a porcelain doll, her chubby cheek and big eyes adding something angelic to her overall look. Then again, Jimin did not look all that old either. It was easy to forget he just turned 24. The age gap was really messing with my brain.

Annie was back with Jimin’s drink a few minutes later. She said nothing when she practically slammed his cup on the table before stalking off. It was then that I knew who she reminded me of. Darcy. I wondered if they were friends. Definitely had the same attitude problem, that was for sure.

“Ignore her,” Jimin told me once she was out of earshot. “I’ve been doing it since middle school.”

The rest of our dinner went back without a hitch. With Annie out of the way, and Marty’s small and infrequent check-in’s, we were able to be in a bubble of sorts. He asked about my trip back home and filled me in on what happened over the weekend. He had finally told his parents about our date and said that his mom thought it was a great idea. James called me perfect a few times, too. I had a hard time believing it, but Jimin had never lied to me before. It was nice to know the people around him accepted me even if I was a few years older.

“My mom’s 9 years older than my dad,” He revealed in between bites of food.

Shocked, I stopped eating all together. I had no idea they were that different in age. Ne-Yeon looked so youthful and pretty it was hard to guess just how old she actually was. Even fighting cancer, that woman did not look a day over 40. James was also in great shape for his age. To hear they had their own age gap made me feel a little bit better. 

“Wait,” Something else occurred to me. “Your mom was in her forties when she had you?”

Jimin nodded, “45. She had Haru at 48.”

It made sense to me now. To Jimin, our age gap was nothing special. It was smaller than his parents’, and having an older mother did not bother him at all. In his eyes, we had all of the time in the world for marriage and kids. A small weight came off of my shoulders. It really did not mean anything to him. He was not just saying that to make me feel better either. 

“Do you want dessert?” He asked, his plate empty in front of him. 

I was almost done with my bowl, “What do they have?”

He squinted his eyes, thinking.

“I know they have this horchata banana pudding. It’s literally the best dessert I’ve ever had in my life. There are a few other things, but I can’t remember what they are.”

I chuckled, “Then we’ll have the banana pudding.”

Jimin was not exaggerating either. The pudding was delicious. I almost wished we had each gotten our own serving, but after seeing the bill we were happy we hadn’t. Jimin paid this time. We had a back-and-forth deal when it came to meals. I got us breakfast last Wednesday, so he was picking up this bill. This was, unfortunately, much higher than Denny’s.

“I’ll put gas in your truck,” I offered on our way out. “To make up for the difference from Denny’s.”

He scoffed, “Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“We’re together now,” He interrupted me. “If I want to pay for a meal, then I will. You don’t have to pay me back.”

“We’ve always done that,” I argued.

“That was before,” He countered, walking me to my car door and opening it. “This is now. And right now, I’m trying to take a pretty girl, in a pretty dress, on a nice date. That includes paying for her meal.”

Getting into my seat, I pointed out that I let him do the gentleman thing all of the time. Opening my door for me, pulling chairs out at restaurants, and even walking on the curbside when we were out together. The list was endless. The least I could do was pay for half of a meal.

“I don’t do those things to get on your good side,” Jimin replied. “I do them because I want to. This isn’t transactional. So, stop worrying about being a burden. I enjoy taking care of you. You deserve to be taken care of.”

I could not think of a good enough comeback, so I just decided to drop it. If he wanted to pay for me then he could. It was his money to spend. 

“Send me your address.”

“You still want to come over?” He seemed surprised.

“Yeah,” I nodded, already pulling up the GPS. “What is it?”

He sounded like Charlie when he won the golden ticket as he gave me his address. 

“Don’t get too excited now,” I joked. “Just because I’m coming over doesn’t mean anything.”

Jimin laughed, “I pretend I don’t even know what sex is until after date three, so don’t worry about it.”

That made me laugh, “Get in your truck. I’ll meet you there.”

Looking back at him, I felt giddy. His eyes were so alight, his joy written so clearly across his face it took my breath away. A happy Jimin was the only kind I wanted to see. Blowing caution to the wind, I finally reached out. Touching his stomach, I felt the muscles clench beneath my fingers.

“Thank you,” I said earnestly.

“What for?” He rasped, placing one hand over mine, pressing my hand further into his skin. 

“For-” I broke off, taking my hand away. The feeling of him underneath me was too much. “For being so accommodating. I really appreciate it.”

He laughed, the sound strained and airy. I was too embarrassed by my actions to look at his face, but I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my eyes. Unlike me, Jimin was always brave. Hopefully some of that confidence would rub off on me. Maybe then I could reach out and hold him whenever I wanted to. 

“You’re welcome,” He replied, and my thighs clenched together at how rough he sounded. Did touching him do that? Or was it the praise? It could be both. “Drive safe, okay? You can follow me if that helps.”

I nodded, swallowing. The icy air outside did nothing to put out the blistering heat coursing between us right now. It was overwhelming how hot it was. Turning up my A/C, I pointed the vent directly at my face.

“See you in a few minutes,” I breathed, still unable to look at him.

Jimin closed my door, and I leaned back in my seat breathing heavily. I watched him as he rounded the front of my car, those pants sticking to his legs like a second skin and groaned. I had never felt this level of desire for anyone before. 

He reminded me so much of Namjoon. His beautiful brain and love for music and poetry so reminiscent it managed to bring me back to happier times. In the beginning I was afraid my attraction to him stemmed from that link. Because he reminded me of something I had loved so dearly that meant what I was beginning to feel was just a projection.

I was wrong. So unbelievably wrong. Jimin had a passion that Joon could never replicate. If Joon was a warm blanket, then Jimin was like the tide in the sea. On the surface it was calm, steady, and beautiful. Underneath that was life like nothing I had ever seen before. He was refreshing and filled with this fire for life that reminded me of my own from years ago.

Namjoon was perfect, a boy-next-door, and soft spoken. Back then I had enough of that passion for the both of us. Now I saw more and more parallels between us than ever before. I was uncertain, waiting for someone else to bring excitement back into my life, too afraid to reach out and take what I wanted anymore.

And then Jimin was there with that big smile willing to take me on whatever adventure I desired. All I had to do was ask. It was exhilarating, fun, and I was happy to be a part of the ride. His softness, his kindness, his understanding- all of it wrapped up in a pretty red bow. A gift that kept on giving.

I did not love Jimin, but I knew then that I could. With his sharp tongue and charisma, it was impossible not to. Everyone else did. Who was I to think I could be any different? I was a slave to his happiness. It was in that moment, sitting in my car, that I finally understood what was happening.

I was falling in love and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae

© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[heartfullofleeches]

College Student Yan + Slasher Neighbor Reader blurb brainrot- [NSFW here]

[Legal age gap - no age mentioned, lightly suggestive]

A student dreads the new year - stuck yet another year with bullies who've tormented them since adoselnce and zero outliet for their pain. They thought college would be different - a fresh new start, but their parents outright refused to let them move away for school or switch counties as the school chosen was most convenient to them. Sometimes they questioned their parents' love as they often forgot the most simplest things - such as falling to give them a new key when the locks were changed the night prior. Exhausted from another of hell, all they wanted was to drag their broken spirit and body into bed so they could sleep the agony away. Against the warnings of everyone in the area, they walked over to their neighbor's house to see if they could hop their fence. A scarred individual a few years their senior - and the kindest eyes they'd ever seen.

"Nah..... My fence is a little too high for that. You'd just end up hurting yourself more. Come in - it's going to rain soon."

Begrudgingly, they take your offer. The streetwide gossip of your home being a slaughter pen was quickly proven falls as you guided them to a comfortable couch and something to drink. There was still a chance it couldve been posioned, but at this rate they couldn't care less. They were almost disappointed to find a regular punch in their glass when you returned. You never really existed to them before then. You kept your words few and eyes on the rain, but as soon as you asked about their days - the floodgates came crashing down. Dumping as much as they did that day on anyone else would've gotten them in hot water, but all you met their rants with was an affirming nod and a pat on the back once they had cooled down.

"Can't say I was in the exact same boat as you, but I know what it's like to be alone. I don't have the right to tell you to cheer up, but I'm sure things will get better."

You don't know at all what it's like....They leave their bag under your coffee table so tomorrow they have to retrieve it - and their phone the next day. Your house became a home away from home, and you their only friend. You attempt to usher them towards people closer to their ages, but relent in giving them a key to your house for when they needed a place to unwind and you weren't there. They began to have trouble sleeping in their own bed when they couldn't tangle themselves in you blankets while you were away- eventually realizing that behind the curtains they pinned shut was the door to your bedroom window. The only time they could rest was when you came back home- mistaking the blots on your clothes for their fading consciousness.

They spent weeks studying your body from your closet and searching through your belongings to find what they could, but they never learned more than what you revealed. It wasn't fair that you knew their story, but they knew so little about you. They wanted to be your support as much as you were theirs. They hated when you called them kid or said they reminded you of yourself when you were younger - when you weren't more than a decade apart. Why wouldn't you just depend them more-

"I killed someone."

"Back in high-school, some guys who used to tease me thought breaking into my house would be a good prank.... they didn't know I kept a knife under my pillow. It was ruled a as self defense... I'm not telling you to forgive your bullies. I won't tell you to tolerate them either. Please, just don't turn out like me. You're a good kid."

Deep down they always knew....how alike you really were. It was the first time you smiled at them. The first time you cried. For you- they would do anything.

It was around this time their bullies turned a new leaf. In another life they would've rejected their tormentors offers of peace, but for you - they agreed. They hated every second of it. Party life was too hectic and they couldn't handle a drop of the alcohol they were forced to consume. You picked them up from the sight of the road more nights than they could regrettably remember; paying no mind to their drunk pleas for you to stay

!They saw many things at these gatherings. Younger lovers locked in heated passion, the beginnings of drunken night stands. They wondered if you had done such things. They couldn't imagine so consider your past - heart strings tied in twisted glee. Would you both each other's first? How much had you given up with your youth stripped away? You always talk about making sure they don't waste their twenties away but what about you? You weren't that much older than them and could still enjoy everything they were experiencing - and they'd be sure that you would.

Their "friends" introduced them to some pastimes they could do with you, but most - weren't. They stole and defaced public property, using their new member as a lookout. They honestly didn't care much about the crimes other than they took away from time they could've spent with you.... but there was something familiar about this building.

"Run!"

The group runs down the hall in a state of panic and fear; screaming, shirts coveted in blood. The leader staggers behind - a gash through one of those eyes that used to glare at them with such hatred and disgusting, twin wide with the adrenaline coursing through its veins. A shadow creeps from behind, stalking past the bully as they trip over their own feet and towards them. It's too dark, they can't see its face, but that knife.... those eyes....

"shhhhh"

A sharp blade runs the length of their cheek, flesh split on its jagged curve. The cut is deep, bleeding profusely - but the figure lowers its blade once the deed is done. It returns to their bully's side, dragging the whimpering shell away never to be seen alive again. They cup their cheek as the light of dawn bleeds through the windows. It likely needed stitches, but it wasn't enough. Bracing for impact - they face the wall and aim their skull for the solid concrete.

-

Their first night out of the hospital and they already have to prepare for school the next day. It isn't all bad, considering you were there to pick them up with their parents out of town. With the investigation still going on at your office, you swore to spend your remaining days with them to celebrate their speedy recovery. Their eyes drift off you momentarily to glance down at your cupholder.

"Hey, Y/n? Mind if I use your knife to cut off my wristband?"

"....Nah...."

They grab your pocket knife - heart hammering in their chest at the flare of pain in their chest from its recognizable edge.

[rhettabbotts]

call it what you want - a rhett abbott series || chapter two

series masterlist | previous part | next part

warnings: none. reader and rhett are oblivious about their feelings towards each other. nosey parents.

a/n: i apologize for the long wait. life has been hectic and i haven’t been in the mood to write but i hope you all still enjoy and still want to follow along with rhett and angel’s story <3

You paced around your room in a panic. You must be mental, that could be the only thing that would explain why you agreed to go through this plan with Rhett. Of course, you couldn’t fake a relationship with your best friend that you’ve been in love with since middle school. 

You scrubbed your face with your hands as you tried to devise an excuse to flake out. Rhett could tell his mom that you and he broke up, but that would honestly make matters worse instead of better. Your thoughts ran a thousand miles a minute and you couldn’t figure out one good reason to not do this. You knew Rhett better than anyone. His family loved you, they knew what kind of person you were. It didn’t seem like much of a surprise when he told his mom it was you he was seeing. It was only for a month, thirty days, four weeks - you could handle it. 

You wouldn’t even have to see each other every day, make a few appearances at the Abbott’s dining table, maybe go out to the bar once or twice. Easy peasy. You wouldn’t have to kiss, wouldn’t have to be all affectionate with each other. Rhett wasn’t like that. This could work, you just have to stay calm and not let your emotions cloud your judgment. 

Flopping down on the edge of your bed, you sighed out loud into the empty room. 

“This is gonna be fine. It has to be fine,” you said aloud, earning a curious look from your golden retriever Daisy as she trotted into your bedroom. Her floppy ears perked up as you sighed again and she made her way over to you and rested her head on your knees. “I know, girl. I am crazy for saying yes, aren’t I?”

You busied yourself cleaning your apartment, trying to silence your brain by vigorously scrubbing the stainless steel kitchen sink. Your phone pinged with an incoming text message and your heart dropped when your mother’s name came across your screen along with the attached words “Call me.”

She knew. You were sure she knew by now. And you knew you were going to get an earful because she didn’t hear it from you first. You don’t think she would be necessarily upset that you’re “dating” Rhett, but she would be upset that you didn’t mention anything to her. How could you? You didn’t know yourself until this morning. 

The phone rang once before your mom was on the other end of the line. 

“You wanna tell me why I find out from Ruth down at Albert’s drug store that my daughter is dating Rhett Abbott?” She questioned, voice tinged with aggravation, but not anger. 

“He wasn’t kidding,” you muttered to yourself. No matter how much he pleaded with Cecilia, the word was going to get out fast. 

“Mama,” you started but couldn’t find the right words. “Mama, we just - it just sort of happened?” You had not discussed your story with Rhett yet, you didn’t know what you were going to tell people when they asked how this came to fruition.

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you been keeping this from me? You know I wouldn’t be upset about it. I’m happy for you, honey. But… have I done something to-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, mama. It has nothing to do with you. It’s just all so new and we wanted to figure things out before we told anyone. I hope you can understand that. I wasn’t hiding it from you, I was seeing where it went before I got your hopes up.” You explained, hoping it was convincing enough for her. 

“I understand, Angel. You know your daddy and I dated two months before we told anyone. I’m glad you and Rhett finally came to your senses, sweet pea. Lord knows that boy’s been pining after you since grade school.”

“Mom!” You exclaimed as you felt your face warm. 

“It’s true! Listen, why don’t you have him over for dinner tomorrow night? We wanna hear all about you two!”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to check with Rhett and-“

“Perfect! We’ll see you at 6! We love you, Angel!”

The line went dead and you slumped against the counter. You groaned into your hands as you covered your face. This was going to be delightful. You knew your mother would ask a million questions and your father would berate Rhett about treating you right. The potent smell of the lemon cleaner burned your nostrils and you needed to take a walk to clear your head before calling Rhett. 

Daisy’s tail wagged excitedly as you grabbed her leash and your jacket. It was early fall, the leaves had just started changing colors; beautiful shades of golden yellow and burgundy, and vibrant orange. The wind was brisk and the sun was bright. It made for perfect walking weather. You took Daisy down to the park that was close to your apartment and your hands trembled as your thumb hovered over Rhett’s contact. You hated that you were so nervous all of a sudden. He was still your best friend, that hadn’t changed.

As if he had read your mind, his picture and name appeared on your screen signaling an incoming call from him. You sucked in a deep, shuddering breath before answering.

“I need you to get out of my head,” you laughed, earning a chuckle in return. 

“Why, were you thinking about me?” Rhett teased. He sounded winded like he had just finished working. 

“Actually, I was. I have to ask you something.” You picked at a loose string on your jacket, nerves bubbling in your stomach. 

“Anything for you, Angel. You know that.”

“Well… mama found out. Said something about hearing it from Ruth Everett and she was a little upset that I didn’t say anything to her. So… she’s invited us to dinner at the house tomorrow night so we can tell her and my dad everything. You don’t have to say yes. I know you have a lot going on and I don’t want you to feel pressured into coming and-”

“Angel,” Rhett cut off your rambling, “what kind of boyfriend would I be if I said no?”

You could hear the smirk in his voice and you couldn’t stop the hammering of your heart at the word “boyfriend” even if it was a lie. You told him the time and he promised to be there early. You talked for a few more minutes about random things before you heard Royal yelling in the background and he had to go. You didn’t sleep much that night, too restless with your thoughts flooding your brain. 

Sitting at your desk the next day was pure torture. You were in a haze, running over every possible scenario that could occur at dinner with Rhett and your parents. Rhett texted you around lunchtime to inform you that he would be picking you up no later than 5:30. The rest of the day passed by in a blur and your stomach was in knots the entire time you searched your closet for something to wear. 

By the time you finally decided on something, your room looked like a mess. You feared the dress would be too much for your weekly dinner with your parents but you wanted to put in the effort because it wasn’t just a normal dinner. Rhett was going to be there. As your boyfriend. Well, fake boyfriend, that was. 

You smoothed your hands down the front of the dress, pulling out any wrinkles that appeared. You heard the roar of the truck engine before Rhett pulled in front of your door. Daisy perked up from her spot on the couch and she waited patiently by the door for her favorite person to come in. 

“Traitor,” you mumbled as you opened the door to see Rhett walking up the front steps. He had forgone his cowboy hat, but his hair was styled nicely. He wore a blue button-down shirt, similar to the blue that was in your dress, and a pair of slacks. He looked good. Gone was the dirty cowboy you were used to seeing. It took your breath away. Your ears rang as he greeted you, pulling you into a hug. His cologne flooded your senses, a pleasant woody smell that was so Rhett it made you dizzy. He patted Daisy on the head before leading you out the door. 

“You ready for this?” He questioned. You could tell he was nervous by the way his voice wavered slightly. 

“We have to come up with a story. It has to be convincing. You know my dad can detect a lie from a mile away.” 

“We can’t just say you kissed me and I knew that was it?” He said jokingly, smiling that crooked grin that always got him what he wanted with you. 

“No, we cannot! How about we say that you finally got the guts to ask me out?” Your mind ran back to what your mother said about Rhett pining over you. Maybe that would convince them this was real. 

“That sounds like a good start. We were drinking. Drunk confessions are my specialty.”

“And you couldn’t stop staring at me and I asked if I had something on my face.”

“And I said that you were beautiful.”

“And you leaned in and asked to kiss me.”

“And the rest is history. Damn, we’re good at this.”

You smiled brightly at him as you perfected the story, but you were still afraid that your father would see right through the two of you. You pulled into your parents' driveway and you couldn’t help but take a few deep breaths. 

“Angel- hey, look at me. If this is going to be too much, tell me and I’ll fix this.”

Rhett had turned to you at this point, grabbing your hand from across the bench seat. It calmed you tremendously.

“No, I can handle them. It’s you I’m worried about,” you said, deflecting.

He just rolled his eyes as he stepped out of the truck, rounding the front to open the door for you - something he typically didn’t do. Your mother was already out the door before you could even make it up the porch steps, pulling you in for a hug before giving Rhett a hug as well. Your dad stood against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, an unreadable expression on his face. What an interesting dinner this was going to be. 

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[greetings-from-the-eraser-king]

Hlvrai kids au

Basic premise the crew go on a field trip to Black Mesa they stumble upon a secret experiment b-u557 and end up releasing him and Black Mesa security desperately tries to stop him

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Eatch kids character description below 👇

Tommy- is the oldest and is in 4th grade and is in a gifted class with darnold he has a huge collection of soda cans and stuffed animals his favorite thing to do is line them up in different patterns. Hes mainly happy and cheerful. him and benrey live together as brothers though there not biologically related he's not quite sure we're ben came from. Gman takes Tommy to black mesa a lot to show him different science experiments going on. Wants a dog so bad his toy dog is doing the job for now.

Gordon- he's in 3erd and is mainly a loner who doesn't fit in a chronic over-thinker he mainly likes to play videogames or read (mainly magazines about video games) he is a smart kid and maybe next year he'll be in the advanced science class. Anxious but loyal and can get easily annoyed. Him and benrey are frenemies both bonding over videogames and other nerdy things but benery is a bit to annoying to be a true friend (benery constantly taunts him by calling him feet man because when he was in kindergarten he stepped in peanut butter and ate it Gordon regrets telling him this) he carries a Gameboy wherever he goes.

Darnold- is one of the smartest kids in the 3erd grade but unfortunately the shortest which leads to constant taunts from forzen though not in the same grade him and Tommy are in the same gifted class and are very good friends. They enjoy making positions out of soda and doing all sorts of strange experiments.more shy and less confident than Tommy he still has a similar joyful attitude. Reads fantasy books and constantly has a new one every week.

Benery- in 3erd lives with Tommy and has no memory of how he got there but meh who cares loves to skate board and do tricks though no one knows how he holds onto it at all times seemingly appears and disappears at will. He wandered a lot and seems to forget things you just told him. You can't tell when he's joking or being serious. His helmet never comes off. Chill jokester who doesn't take a lot of things seriously and likes to hang around Gordon and annoy him. He is not allowed near black mesa.

Forzen- moved from France when he was around 3-4 his dad's in the military and he's a bit spoiled has had to move a lot because of his dad but he's been in the same neighborhood as the gang sense the end of 2ed grade. He's not truly one of the bullies of the school but is annoying to Gordon darnold and Tommy he quickly became friends with benery when he moved and benery taut him how to skate board.

B-u557- a top secret black mesa experiment to be the ultimate life form he was still brewing when the kids broke him out of his tube so he might have some defects mostly annoyed all the time but he is thrilled to be out of his tube and even more thrilled to finally be able to hear a scientist who has been visiting him.

Dr.coomer- a good friend of Tommy's dad but usually not taken very seriously by his coworkers. He is a little unusual and loud but is a very kind soul other scientists complaine that he talks to much. he works in many departments around black mesa but is most offensive seen in the robotics department is the founder of the black mesa boxing ring and has not lost his wife in the divorce yet. He likes to visit the secret experiment B-u557 to see how he's doing he does his rants to the experiment even though he knows he can't hear him. But b-u557 doesn't ever seem to be annoyed so he keeps visiting. Even if everyone else in black mesa tells him to stop.

Credit: blinkees

[starvity]

hi! i really like you work🥺 if reqs aren’t open ignore this but if they are could i please request a taeyoung vity fluff? maybe something like MC’ing with his crush or something! ty and have a good one❤️‍🩹

— ☆ mc'ing with crush!taeyoung

idol gn!reader x cravity taeyoung

genre: fluff, idol!au // warnings: mutual crushing!! who cheered?! just taeyoung being a flirt, did i forget anything...?

author’s note: thank you sooo much!! <3 took me a moment to get inspired for this one but it was so fun to write!! i'm so sane and normal about taeyoung like, that did not make me delusional at all... (★ω★)/ [requested♡]

you let out a sigh of relief as your promotions for your new album have ended after 3 weeks. the past few months have been particularly tiring for you ; you had to prepare for your comeback while being on tour and record the tracks and film the music video as soon as you were back in seoul.

you were so happy to finally be able to rest as your company announced a two-week break for your group after your hectic schedule. unfortunately (or not), you were offered a 6-month contract to host 'after school club' every tuesday!

you show the staff a mixed facial expression at the sudden news. you knew this was a good opportunity to get your group known, especially since your last title track got popular. but that also meant that you were unable to go back to see your family for the holidays. suddenly, something sparked your interest as they were explaining you what the job consisted of ; "who am i going to work with?". you’ve been training alone for quite a long time, seeing all your friends debut before you, so you thought that it wouldn’t be too bad to make some new friends in the industry. "taeyoung from cravity will be working with you, you will get to meet him next week."

friends, you said? you nod at the staff, finding it difficult to hide the light tint of pink creeping up your cheeks. taeyoung and you had in fact already met, without your company knowing about it. you were promoting your debut album on music shows at the same time and randomly met in the hallways. it was still really early in the morning and all of your other teammates were sleeping in the waiting room. you decided to go get a drink from the vending machine just outside the door when you ran into him. he smiled shyly, two cinnamoroll pins still in his hair as he had probably gotten his makeup done just now. he suddenly bowed down, greeting you "hello, i’m taeyoung from cravity". you bowed back and smiled, hinting with your eyes that you were waiting to get yourself a drink. "can i get you something, i accidentally took too much money." what a weird request, you thought. if he has too much money, can't he just keep it for next time? you don’t know why but you found his question quite endearing and accepted the offer.

finally, the live broadcast for your first appearance as a mc is starting in 2 hours. you try to calm yourself down during rehearsal so you can appear as relaxed as possible on camera. however, that was not an easy task since you could basically feel taeyoung’s knee graze against yours when you were sitting together on the sofa, reviewing the ments for today. he was close enough for you to hear his soft breathing and smell his cologne. "you seem to be quite distracted today. nervous?" he asks softly. without you knowing, taeyoung and you have become quite close, close enough for him to notice when your vibe is slightly off. you sigh "i really don’t want to mess this up." he chuckles, "i’m sure you’ll do great. we’ll do great!" he pats your thigh reassuringly. god, was he trying to make you less nervous? while looking at you with such eyes? you had promised yourself to stay as professional as possible with him when you started working together. you didn't want any stupid rumors ruining both of your new careers. but when you see how his eyes shift to your lips with a small grin growing on his face, you wonder ; does he feel the same way about me?

the show went much better than you expected. you happily thank the staff and head back to the waiting room. "you did great taeyoung! i think you're going to gain a lot of fans." you giggle, taking a sip of water and finally feeling your nervousness disappear. "are you not afraid of me stealing yours?" he asks jokingly but with a somehow serious face and you take notice of the abrupt silence that had settled in the room, as you two were alone. he then turns his phone screen towards you, showing how both your names were trending on twitter. you click on the hashtags out of curiosity and suddenly feel your whole face heat up when you see what the netizens were talking about. "first day on the job and people are already shipping us" taeyoung laughs while you were hiding behind your hands, unable to look at him. a few seconds pass and you feel a pair of warm hands coming to rest on top of yours before forcing them off your face. as you open your eyes, you see that taeyoung is standing ridiculously close to you with a stupid smirk painted on his face. "if we kiss now, how many months do you think it'll take for them to find out?" he blurts out, his eyes serious and teasing. "can you keep a secret?"

[thelarriefics]

WINTER FIC REC: Below you’ll find fics that take place during the winter season. 

📖 A Very Darling Christmas by @aquamarinedaffodil (133k)

It’s Harry’s first holiday season since he opened the little bakery at Astor Square and according to his best friend Zayn, he is hopelessly unprepared. With the start of the local Christmas market right around the corner and an already hectic schedule, Harry really can’t afford to get distracted.

Then again, neither can Louis, who is in the middle of directing rehearsals for a winter musical with his drama class and promised his colleague Niall that he’d focus all of his energy on the musical.

But you know what they say: promises are like pie crusts — made to be broken.

📖 like cranberries on a winter evening by @evilovesyou (57k)

Louis hates Christmas. With good reason, too. And no, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

When research for his next novel leads Louis to the website of a quirky little hotel in Northumberland, there is exactly one room available for the two weeks that Louis really wants to get away from his family.

Will the fairy lights, kind smiles, homemade pastries, and genuine friendships awaiting him in Harry Styles’ hotel be enough to cause Louis a change of heart?

📖 Baby, Won't You Look My Way? by @peachbootylouis (50k)

Or the where Louis’ routine centered life runs like clockwork until a chance hook up throws a wrench named Harry into it all. But as it may turn out a change in plans could be what Louis has needed all along.

📖 Cabin Fever by @germericangirl (46k)

One cabin, one bed, two ex-boyfriends. What could possibly go wrong?

📖 Take A Chance On Me by @peachypetalhazz (39k)

When Harry receives two tickets to see one of his favourite bands, he'd expected that his best mate would accompany him. However, it is soon learned that the intentions behind this so-called gift were far more wondrous than he initially thought.

📖 love drunk, waiting on a miracle by @hellolovers13 (30k)

Harry has a bit of a crush on a customer. Thankfully, the feeling is mutual.

These are their first 24 days together.

📖 California stars by @justanothershadeofblue (27k)

A month in the life (and diary) of one Harry Edward Styles, miner-become-farmer in the brand new state of California, and his hired hand, one Louis Tomlinson. AKA Harry goes to San Francisco for supplies, but ends up with more than he bargained for.

📖 One for the Books by @neondiamond (25k)

When Harry decides to move to London a few weeks before Christmas to pursue his dream and become the new owner of a bookshop after seeing an ad online, everyone he knows tells him he must be out of his mind. As he gets acquainted with his new life and meets a handful of incredible individuals—one of which he happens to grow particularly fond of—he slowly comes to the realisation that it may just be the best decision he's ever made.

Or the one where there’s a bookshop, a cat, OT5 friendship, a budding romance, and all the festive vibes.

📖 as in olden days by @scrunchyharry (18k)

Château Frontenac hotel, Christmas 1925 When his father insisted the entire family spend Christmas abroad in one of his new investments, Harry dreaded the prospect of being trapped for weeks in the biting Canadian cold, so far away from the roaring excitement of his London life. As he crossed half of the world to be buried under a thick blanket of snow, he never imagined he would meet a charming bellhop who would do his best to keep him warm.

📖 And winter came... by @noellehenryfics (16k)

A While you were sleeping AU.

📖 This Winter's Day by @becomeawendybird (14k)

Louis is Harry's stablemaster, and when he falls ill and his mother turns to Harry to help her try and find someone he can settle down with, it's only natural that Harry suggests himself.

📖 I Can Build Your Heart A Home by @loveislarryislove (10k)

Harry and Louis kind of secretly sort of dated in high school. Now it's two years later and they're both back in town for Christmas and it's awkward. Until it isn't.

📖 The Clock Strikes New Year by @jacaranda-bloom (9k)

Harry was homeless, but now he has Louis. Louis was lonely, but now he has Harry. And there’s more than one way to see fireworks on New Year’s Eve.

📖 All I know is I'm in trouble ('cause the atmosphere's so cold) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (8k)

While on a holiday with his best mate Zayn, Louis meets Harry, who seems to dislike him from the start. It's just his luck he ends up getting stuck on a ski lift with Harry. Except maybe the universe knows better and he really is lucky.

📖 Alpha Heater For Sale by @harryslonecurl (3k)

It read: Alpha heater for sale! Winter weather got you down? Call Harry for your warm, furnace-like needs!

📖 Rapture by @allwaswell16 (3k)

It was New Year's Eve in Victorian London, and a lonely vampire could no longer resist the stunning lamplighter he watched night after night.

Or, a vampire Harry fic because what says the holidays like Victorian vampires?

📖 a taste of bliss by @beckydoesthings (1k)

It's New Year's Eve, and Louis is working. As much as he hates it, there's a few benefits to working a holiday. One is the free champagne. The second may or may not come in the form of a curly haired sous chef named Harry.

[moonchildreads]

small town

Chapter 22 - Let's Dance

IN THIS CHAPTER: Matching outfits, a parking lot talk, and Hellfire does Prom [10.5k]

WARNINGS: underaged drinking (no one gets drunk), mentions of teenage delinquency, Eddie being an unreliable source of info about Hawkins' recent oddities, shitty former friends and partner

A/N: so. this chapter was supposed to come out last week but i got food poisoning, which turned into me taking a day off work because i felt like shit and when i returned, it got insanely hectic to the point where i did three extra hours today. life is lifing, friends! in order to keep myself sane (i cried at work again today, it's not looking good folks) i'm gonna throw away the update schedule and post whenever i feel like it. i'm still gonna aim at one chapter per week though! i just won't make promises on dates anymore because nothing is working out irl at the moment. anyways, enjoy the chapter and i'll see you when i see you (soon, i promise)!

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

Put on your red shoes And dance the blues

Friday, June 6th - 1986

On Thursday afternoon, Eddie Munson made the mistake of not telling Dottie Burke - his girlfriend that wasn’t actually his girlfriend because he hadn’t asked her out yet - why he couldn’t drive his friends to Donny’s family restaurant for dinner before prom. They’d been lounging on her bedroom’s window seat, radio playing at a low volume while they lazily kissed and cuddled, taking full advantage of the fact that her Dad hadn’t arrived from work yet when Eddie mentioned having to run an errand with Wayne on Friday after school. He said he was probably going to arrive late to the gathering, so they should make plans without him and he’d meet them at the restaurant whenever he was done. The metalhead noticed how Dottie freezed in his arms, lifting herself up from her comfortable position on his chest and put a little distance between them, but since she didn’t inquire further, he simply left a few hours later without ever explaining himself, leaving her to sink into a spiral of self-doubt and very familiar anxiety that left her equal parts jittery and exhausted.

That night after dinner, Dottie called her Auntie Rachel to ease the pang of rising panic, desperately seeking reassurance from the older woman who was always plenty eager to provide a pep talk to her favorite niece whenever she needed one. Everything will be fine, Rachel had said while nursing a glass of red wine all the way in her apartment in New York, her kids already tucked into bed and a newly acquired romance book waiting for her on her bedside table. Stop worrying about it, bug. Senior prom will be the best prom of your life. But as much as she tried to help, Auntie Rachel hadn’t been made aware yet of the change in her niece’s relationship with the older boy, so her advice rang hollow in Dottie’s ears, and the teen had ended up having a pitiful and unsatisfactory sleep before what was supposed to be the most exciting day of her senior year up until that moment.

Still, Eddie had behaved completely normal on Friday at school towards her and their friends, which had eased her nerves slightly. He didn’t make any comments about being anything less than happy to attend his first and hopefully last senior prom, and once he’d dropped Gareth off at his house, he’d lingered in Dottie’s driveway for ten long minutes. Eddie let himself enjoy the feeling of her mouth against his while a gentle drizzle hit his van windows before she finally headed into her house and he sped away towards his mysterious errand. Her best guess that the reason he had never really explained himself was because he was off to do something that was private to his uncle, and she hoped it wasn’t anything health related; Wayne wasn’t exactly old, but he also wasn’t young, and she didn’t like the idea of him having to go through any kind of medical emergency or invasive treatment. And so Friday evening found Dottie at her desk putting the finishing touches on her makeup look, and Eddie on the other side of Hawkins pleading to the stars above his head that his not-yet-girlfriend would understand his weird need for secrecy by the time the night had ended. Hopefully.

“How are you feeling, honey?” James asked, leaning against Dottie’s door frame as she took the last rollers out of her hair and sprayed her curls into place.

“Excited? Honestly a little bit terrified,” she confided in him. “I keep thinking that I’m gonna look around at some point and everyone will have gone home without me.”

“I really don’t think the guys would do that to you, but if they do or you want to leave at any point and for any reason, you can call me, okay? Don’t come home alone.”

“No, I know,” she smiled at him, but it looked more like a nervous grimace than anything else. “I promise I’ll call, I put coins in my purse just in case.”

“Great,” he came to stand behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. “But don’t go in there expecting the worst either. Everything’s gonna be great, honey, you’ll see. Just have a little faith.”

“I really hope you’re right this time, Dad.”

For the next few seconds, each of them were lost in their own painful memories from barely a year ago; James vividly remembered sitting down on their old couch with a can of beer in his hand and a rented movie in the VCR before a younger Dottie barrelled through their front door, shoes dangling from her fingers and black mascara streaking down her cheeks, running towards her bedroom where she locked herself into for 12 straight hours. In turn, all Dottie could think about was how she’d never gotten to see the inside of the gymnasium that was supposed to have been transformed into a fairy wonderland. Her Dad squeezed her shoulders with a comforting touch, dislodging the dark thoughts from her mind before dread overtook her and left her paralyzed once more. She picked up her Mom’s wedding earrings from her little jewelry box and quickly put them on, completing her outfit. Dainty gold pieces secured in place at her earlobes, she rose from her chair and twirled once to show off her full look, fluffy dress glinting as she moved.

During their weekend visit to Hawkins, Aunt Mary Elizabeth had put her sewing skills to good use and shortened the floor-length gown until it reached Dottie’s calves, the golden metallic heels they’d gotten at that heaven-sent Indy thrift store perfectly on display on her feet. She felt like a movie star, ready to walk down the red carpet with a handsome date and be adored by her fans, camera flashes blinding her as she glided effortlessly through a crowded room like she’d always belonged there. Except there were no fans, no paparazzi, and no handsome date either, just her Dad helping her into the front seat of their car so they could pick up the first of her friends for what was surely going to be a night to remember.

Their first stop of the night was at Gareth’s house. James hadn’t even put the car into park before the poor boy was jogging down his front lawn, trying to escape his mother who had been obsessively taking pictures of him in his rented black tux and bright red bowtie in various places around their home. Much to Gareth’s dismay, James insisted on saying hello to his parents before they left, so while he chatted amicably with dad Gavriel, Lydia made her son and his best friend pose in front of her bushes as a backdrop to fulfill the role of nosy journalist in Dottie’s movie star dreams. As much as they complained, the two teens hugged each other and smiled for photos until their eyes were wet from the flash going off and it was finally time to wrap up the shoot and head to their next stop.

The scenario repeated itself at Jeff’s house. His mom, Tricia, prompted Dottie to stand between him and Gareth in the middle of the living room, her son’s white suit jacket with black lapels contrasting nicely with his friend’s black jacket and white button up. As the two boys crowded their friend and planted big wet kisses on both of her rosy colored cheeks while the flashes kept going off, their vision for the night started to become clear: Dottie’s red dress, Gareth’s red bowtie and Jeff’s red Chuck Taylors and cummerbund were difficult to not notice, their club colors proudly and prominently on display leaving no doubts as to whom they belonged with. There might not have been a fancy date à la Rob Lowe or Ally Sheedy to walk hand in hand with into the packed Hawkins High gym, but the Hellfire Class of ‘86 didn’t need any of that to face their prom night - they just needed each other. Tricia promised James she’d get copies of all the photos printed for him and so the teens packed once again into the car and drove away to their final destination.

Donny’s family restaurant wasn’t as fancy as Enzo’s, but in their opinion, it was definitely way more charming. With its big sign spelling Giulia’s in cursive and a homely feel that could be experienced since before they had even walked in, big flower boxes decorated the outside and stereotypical checkered tablecloths were visible from the huge front windows. Donny had been waiting for them at one of the booths near the counter, flowers on every table and tea candles setting the mood for all the couples and groups of friends stopping by to have some authentic Italian pizza or pasta before dancing the night away in their heavily decorated school gymnasium.

“Hey, Don! Looking sharp!” James exclaimed from the driver seat when he pulled up to the restaurant as Donny rushed to keep the front door open for his friends.

“Thanks, Mr. Burke!” he beamed, blue eyes twinkling under the streetlights. “You wanna stay over for pizza?”

“No, thank you, you kids have fun, okay?” he turned to his daughter who lingered in the co-pilot seat. “Take care, honey. I love you.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you too,” Dottie said, giving him a big hug.

James was so thankful she’d never gone through an I’m ashamed of showing my parent affection in public phase. He watched how Jeff hurried to catch the door when Donny left his post to greet Dottie, spinning her around once and making her laugh, her anxiety visibly melting as the boys made her feel more cared for and loved than she’d ever thought a friend could make her feel in her life. They all waved James goodbye as he drove away, his eyes glossy at the knowledge that his baby was rapidly growing and would inevitably stop needing him, but also incredibly proud of not only her but Donny, Jeff, and Gareth for being such good people to one another. It almost made him wish they’d moved back to his hometown earlier if it meant he’d see his daughter smile as bright as she did every day now.

“Hey, welcome!” Donny’s dad Angelo shouted from the door to the kitchen, his white apron stained with red sauce and his balding head covered with a stripy black and white bandana. “Thought you had gotten lost on your way over! Everyone likes margherita, right?”

“That the one with anchovies we had last time?” Gareth asked as they seated themselves into the booth, ignoring the looks they were getting from the other guests as they talked loudly over their heads.

“That’s the romana,” Donny said, going through the big beverage fridge at the back of the counter where his older sister Isabella was fiddling with the register. “Margherita is sauce, cheese and basil.”

“Oooooh, I love basil,” Dottie said, caging Jeff between herself and Gareth.

“We’re good with margherita, papà!” Donny placed glass soda bottles for everyone on the table and plopped himself down besides Dottie. “You look really pretty, by the way.”

“Thank you! You clean up nice too,” she smiled at him, and he chuckled shyly, not used to all the attention.

“Angelo, why didn’t you say the kids were here already?” Bianca, Donny’s mom, said coming out from the kitchen carrying pasta dishes for another table.

“They just arrived, cuore mio,” Angelo said, kissing the side of her head as he walked past him before he returned to the kitchen and busied himself with more cooking.

“Let me see you, boys, you’re looking handsome!” Bianca beamed at Gareth and Jeff, the two rowdy teens she’d known since before they could tie their own shoes. “And this is Dorothy, right?”

“Just Dottie is fine, mamma,” Donny corrected his Mom.

“Isn’t she a doll! Donatello said you’re interested in joining us for the summer, is that right?”

“Yes, ma’am, I’d love to work for you,” Dottie said, ignoring how her friends were snickering at the mention of Donny’s full first name.

“Do you have any experience?”

“Not as a waitress, but I was a babysitter back in New York since I was 13. I took a Red Cross course and everything. And I have CPR and First Aid certification if that helps.”

“We’ll talk more after graduation, but job’s yours if you want it,” Bianca said with a kind smile before hurrying over to attend to a customer.

“That was the quickest job interview I’ve ever seen in my life,” Jeff laughed.

“If we’re all gonna have money in our pockets, summer’s gonna be fucking awesome,” said Gareth, and everyone couldn’t help but agree with him.

By the time only pizza crust and empty cups of tiramisù remained on the table, everyone was feeling ready for some good old teenage fun on a sweaty dance floor. At some point during the dinner, Donny’s older sister Isabella had brought out a camera and taken a couple of snapshots of the group, wanting to preserve the memory of her little brother going to his first ever high school dance. Donny was acting like a peacock in his maroon suit with a matching black button up and tie; he’d even gelled his curls back, his stud earring glinting in the candlelight whenever he turned his head. As their classmates started leaving but their group remained behind, Dottie began to worry once again. Where in the world was Eddie, and why hadn’t he shown up yet? When she excused herself to the bathroom to reapply her bright red lipstick in an attempt to hide her nervous breathing, the boys huddled up in the booth, voices dropping to a low mumble, heads close together above the table.

“Where the fuck is he?” Gareth hissed.

“He said he was gonna be late, but this is too much,” Jeff said.

“You think he chickened out?”

“No way,” Donny said, confidently. “He was really excited about the surprise, he wouldn’t flake on us like that.”

“Well, he better show up or I’m beating his ass,” Gareth said. “Dot doesn’t deserve to go through another sucky prom.”

“Fuck, I didn’t even think about her,” Jeff’s eyes went wide. “She’s gonna be devastated if he doesn’t come.”

“He’ll come,” Donny nodded. “He’s not gonna stand her up. Like, if anyone knows how much this means to her, it’s probably Ed. They tell each other everything.”

“Okay, I’m ready to roll,” Dottie said, making their heads snap up at her voice. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah! You wanna get going now or do we wait for a bit longer?” Gareth asked.

“I… I dunno, guys. I don’t think Eddie’s coming,” she said, resigned. Jeff and Donny looked at each other.

“I’m gonna call him,” Donny decided. “You guys wait here.”

He shouldn’t have called, because when he returned to the table and said no one had picked up, the way Dottie’s face fell was enough to make them all feel incredibly guilty about something that wasn’t even their fault. They watched her school her features, masking the disappointment behind a friendly smile while she gathered her purse and slid out of the booth like nothing was bothering her. They said their goodbyes to the Vitale family, nonna Giulia coming out from the back to see her only grandson off (and pinch all their cheeks), and finally headed towards Donny’s car with a false sense of cheeriness but the best intentions at heart. The boys weren’t gonna let anything ruin the night for their friend, insisting on opening doors for Dottie and taking turns to offer her their arms to hold onto. Donny was unlocking his car’s doors when a very familiar brown van pulled up behind him, Eddie spilling out hurriedly without turning it off first.

“Jesus Christ, fuck, I’m so sorry,” he breathed out, jogging to catch up with his friends.

“You jackass, where the hell were you?” Jeff scolded him, but his words lost all edge when he pulled the long haired boy into a side hug.

“I’ll tell you later, but fuck man, I really thought I wasn’t gonna make it,” Eddie laughed, turning to hug Gareth.

“Is Wayne okay?” Dottie asked.

“Yeah, he’s fine, don’t worry about him,” he turned around and felt his soul leave his body when his eyes rested upon her. “I, uh- wow.”

“What’s wrong?” she said, looking down at her dress with a frown.

“Nothing! You- you look really nice,” he couldn’t hide his smile even if he tried, and he didn’t want to.

“Oh. Thank you, you look nice too,” she smiled back.

“Let’s take a picture before we leave now that we’re all here,” Donny said, waving through the window at Isabella, who immediately understood the assignment.

“We should take the camera with us,” Gareth proposed, and Jeff nodded in agreement.

Isabella had a few stern words towards Eddie for being late, but when she made them pose on the street, the light spilling out from the inside of the restaurant illuminating their happy faces, she couldn’t stop a fond expression from gracing her features. Donny hadn’t had an easy time throughout his school years, but it was this group of kids in front of her that had made everything better for him. She remembered the summer barbeques in the backyard with a younger Jeff, that one time Gareth lost a tooth munching too harshly on a cannoli, and that first day Donny brought Eddie over. She had asked her boyfriend (now husband) to help her keep an eye on the older boy throughout his visit, worried about what a junior could possibly want with her little brother. They’d talked about Lord of the Rings and played checkers for hours, and she’d heard Eddie warning a freshman Donny about certain teachers and how to avoid getting on their bad side, which softened her attitude towards the lanky teen considerably.

Truthfully, Isabella wasn’t one to judge quickly, but she had been worried about Dottie when Donny first began dropping her name in conversations at family gatherings. Girls had never been particularly nice to her brother while growing up, and as the eldest Vitale sister, she could be a little overprotective when it came to her siblings, especially towards her only brother. But here Dottie was, huddled up between Gareth and Donny, head resting lightly on her brother’s shoulder to be captured in a picture forever and looking happy about it, and Isabella knew this new addition to the group had been good for everyone. They were all wearing matching formal outfits, for Christ’s sake! After Isabella returned inside and everyone started heading towards Donny’s car again, Eddie grabbed Dottie’s wrist and stopped her from following their friends.

“Hey,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “Ride with me?”

“I, uh…,” she turned to look at the rest of the guys who were waiting for her a few steps ahead.

“I kinda wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“O-okay,” she said, heart sinking into her stomach. “I’m gonna ride with Eddie, guys.”

“Everything okay?” Jeff asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you later,” Eddie said. “Meet us in the parking lot?”

He guided Dottie towards his van with a hand on the small of her back, holding her little gold purse for her as she climbed inside and clicked her seatbelt on, their friends slowly driving away without waiting for them to catch up. Once she was seated and her skirt was out of danger from getting caught in the door, Eddie closed it, jogged to the driver’s side and jumped inside, turning on the van and heading towards Hawkins High School. They stayed quiet for a whole block and when Dottie moved to turn on the radio to fill the awkward silence, he caught her hand in the air and brought it to his lips for a quick peck, the loving gesture helping her relax into her seat.

“I’m sorry I was late,” he said. “I had to do something important and it took me longer than I thought it would.”

His hair was still a little bit damp from his hurried shower, and he was wearing a black button up shirt with the sleeves barely rolled up, his good black jeans without holes in them with the chains on the side, and black boots. Chrissy’s birthday gift was the only pop of color in his all black ensemble, the red tie carefully ironed and knotted at the base of his throat.

“You look really handsome,” Dottie muttered with an airy tone, interlacing their fingers.

“And you look stunning,” he smiled softly, glancing at her before he turned his eyes back to the road. “Kinda took my breath away when I saw you.”

“Was worried you weren’t gonna show up,” she admitted.

“And leave my girl hanging? I’d never,” Eddie said, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand. My girl. She could get used to that. “I should have just told you what I was up to, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“Surprise?”

“Check the glove box,” he said, pointing to it with his chin.

Dottie retrieved her hand from his grasp and opened it as instructed, pulling out two envelopes from the inside: one was white and looked like it contained a letter or a folded piece of paper, the other one was big and brown. She looked at him warily with a million questions in her eyes; he grinned mischievously in return.

“Open the small one first,” Eddie said.

Curiously, she opened the white letter and unfolded the single sheet of paper, finding in her hands a copy of Eddie’s school transcript. At the bottom, written in what she recognized as Ms. Kelly’s handwriting after seeing it for almost six months straight during their check-ins, were Eddie’s final grades for his third senior year. Not quite believing what she was seeing, she read them again and again, the information in front of her eyes staring back at her impassively.

“Stop the van,” she said, her gaze still stuck to the paper.

“What?”

“Fucking pull over, Ed!” she clicked her seatbelt off and threw the papers towards the dashboard, barely waiting until he’d hit the brakes before throwing herself onto him and planting a kiss on his lips.

“Wait, wait-” he laughed loudly, pulling her out of her seat and into his lap, her poofy dress covering his legs.

“I’m so- fucking- proud of you-” Dottie said, kissing him over and over, not caring if her lipstick was transferring onto his skin.

“Yeah? You are?” Eddie asked, giddy. “I had a meeting with Ms. Kelly today,” he began explaining, and she stopped kissing him to hear his story, her hands dropping to his shoulders where she played with his hair as he melted under her touch. “Dropped you off and booked it back to school. Last two times she called me to her office a week before graduation, she told me I wasn’t making it so I kinda shit my pants there for a minute but I knew I did good this time, I could feel it.”

“You did, babe, you did so good,” she grinned at him with hearts in her eyes.

“We did it,” he pressed a noisy kiss to her cheek, making her giggle. “We’re graduating together.”

“Hell yeah we are!” she moved to kiss him again but he dodged her, leaning to the side to get the other envelope from his dashboard.

“Hold on, that was only half of the surprise,” Eddie said, offering the papers back to her. “Open this one next.”

“Is this gonna say you got a full ride to come to Michigan with me or what?” she joked, pulling out the documents. “Oh, a job application! You mentioned this the other day-”

“Turn to the second page.”

“Holy shit! You got it?”

“I got it!”

In her hands, was a copy of his filled out job application and an informal looking contract, but a contract nonetheless. It was missing Eddie’s signature at the bottom, but that was merely a formality: she was looking at Thatcher Tires’ newest employee, with his starting date stamped as Monday, June 16th, the day after graduation weekend. It was only a part-time apprentice position, but it came with the promise of being promoted to assistant and eventually to full-time if he did well, and it was so much more than anyone else had been willing to give to Eddie before. Dottie looked at him with wet eyes and so much love inside her she didn’t know what to do except scoop him into her arms and squeeze him tightly against her chest like she never wanted to let go, lest he thought she wasn’t as equally over the moon about the news as he was.

“I’m just… fuck, Ed, this is huge,” she pressed her nose to his neck and he wrapped his arms around her, breathing in deeply.

“I know. It feels huge,” he chuckled. “Never thought I’d graduate and get a real job, y’know. Wayne cried when I told him.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“Yeah,” he sniffed. “I decided I’m not gonna deal anymore either. I’m just selling what I have left now and then I’m done with that shit. Forever. I… I wanna be good for you, darling. I wanna be the kinda man you deserve.”

“Ed, you don’t have to change who you are for me,” she lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him, her hands coming to hold the sides of his face tenderly. “I fell in love with you like this, I’m not gonna change my mind all of a sudden. I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you had to be anything different than who you are, I-”

“No, no, that’s not it,” he said quickly, hands settling on her waist. “I’m just… You deserve a good man, Dot, and I wanna be that. I wanna be a good man. I- I just didn’t think I could be good before, y’know? Everyone’s always talking about how I’m so fuckin’ stupid, and how I’d never do shit with my life, and I guess at some point I started believing they were right, and- I dunno. I don’t wanna be useless and I don’t wanna end up in jail with my asshole Dad like everyone in this shit town thinks I will. And- and when I met you and you were all like you’re really smart, Eddie, you’re just lazy, you were right, darling, you were so fuckin’ right. You always are,” he was looking at her with so much intensity she had to close her eyes and lean forward, their foreheads resting against each other’s. “I wanna look at myself in a mirror and see what you see. I wanna be good.”

“You are,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his nose. “You are so good, Eddie. You are the best thing in this whole town and I love you so much.”

“Say that again, please.”

“I love you.”

“One more time?”

“I love you, Edward Munson,” Dottie kissed him sweetly. “I love you.”

“Shit,” he grinned. “You really love me.”

“Of course I do.”

“I love you too, baby. So, so much.”

They stayed like that for a few seconds, Dottie sitting on his lap, her thighs bracketing his, his thumbs rubbing circles on her sides and her hands cupping the sides of his jaw, noses pressed together. They didn’t kiss, because it didn’t seem enough to express what they were feeling right at that moment. It almost felt childish to do so, like kissing was something they usually did for fun and the real intimacy came from just existing in the same space, breathing the same air, feeling each other’s warmth under their hands and just how alive the other felt when skin was pressed against skin. A truck full of rowdy classmates that were clearly somewhat inebriated sped down the street, the loud music coming from their speakers breaking their fairytale bubble and bringing them back to real life. With a shy smile, Dottie collected all the documents strewn around them before moving back to her seat and clicking her seatbelt back on while Eddie tried to wipe her lipstick from his face with a tissue he’d stolen from her purse and water from an old plastic bottle. Once she’d reapplied her makeup and he was sufficiently clean so as not to raise suspicions, Eddie pulled back into the road towards the school, holding Dottie’s hand in his for just a few more minutes.

“You know what I realized the other day?” he said, stopping at a red light. “I didn’t used to be scared of jail when Chief Hopper was still around.”

“Really? Why not?”

“Because Hopper didn’t give two shits about me selling. He busted me a couple of times, gave me a talking to and dropped me off back home. I think he knew I was just doing it ‘cause we needed the money, I wasn’t gonna become a career criminal or some shit like that. He was cool.”

“And the new chief isn’t?”

“Powell’s useless,” Eddie scoffed. “He’s still trying to convince everyone he has what it takes to be like Hopper and no one believes he’s got it. And Callahan is a fucking moron. You know those handcuffs I’ve got in my bedroom?”

“I’m guessing you didn’t get those in a magician’s kit,” Dottie joked.

“They’re Callahan’s,” he grinned. “He caught me buying when I was like 15, put the cuffs on me and everything. Took me to the station and when Hopper saw me at his desk, he turned around and called him a drama queen, told him he was “wasting police resources” over nothing. It was awesome. I swiped the cuffs before Hopper took me home. Wayne wasn’t too happy about it though, he grounded me for like a month but I thought it was worth it.”

“So you stole a police officer’s cuffs? And just… hung them in your bedroom like they were a dreamcatcher?”

“Yeah, pretty much. At first I kept them ‘cause I thought they made me look badass,” he turned into another street, their final stop looming closer and closer. “Now I look at them and kinda get chills. I think Wayne would die if he saw me in those but for real this time. Like, I think he’d actually have a heart attack or something. Can’t do that to my old man, he doesn’t deserve that.”

“And Hopper didn’t know you took them?”

“He absolutely did, he just didn’t care,” Eddie laughed. “As far as cops go, Hopper was pretty cool. He actually gave a shit about us when it really mattered. I mean, yeah, he could still be an asshole when he wanted to, all cops are, but he was pretty chill most of the time. Kept to himself a lot. It kinda pissed me off how everyone started pretending like he was their best friend after he died.”

“Nancy told me he saved people in the Starcourt Mall fire.”

“Yeah. A true American hero: Vietnam war vet, died heroically saving children from a fire during the Fourth of July… doesn’t get more patriotic than that.”

“You said Dustin and Mike were there, right?”

“Yeah. And Erica.”

“What?”

“They were all in the cinema, I think. Dunno much about it, the kids never talk about what happened. Just know they were there ‘cause they mentioned it on the news. Nancy was there too, she didn’t tell you?”

“Oh,” Dottie said, like something had clicked in her head. “Well, that makes more sense now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought it was weird that Nancy’s boyfriend’s mom just, like, adopted the Chief’s daughter after he passed away, but it makes sense. They must have been friends.”

“What are you talking about?” It was Eddie’s turn to be surprised.

“Nancy’s dating a guy named Jonathan-”

“Yes, Jonathan Byers. I know him. Fellow weirdo,” he raised an eyebrow pointedly.

“Well, his mom adopted Hopper’s daughter before they moved to California last year. She’s dating Mike, he told us about her, remember?” Dottie explained. “So she must have been in there with Mike and their friends if Nancy and Jonathan were there too.”

“Hopper didn’t have a daughter. I mean, he did have one but she died when she was a kid,” Eddie said.

“Nancy said he didn’t know he had a daughter until recently, maybe her Mom passed away or something and she left her with him. She was here all summer with Mike and Dustin, she’s really pretty!”

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“They showed me a picture! She’s taller than I expected, has brown hair, brown eyes. Looks a little bit like an elf actually, she has, like, sharp cheekbones?” Dottie pointed to her own round cheeks that looked nothing like the girl’s face on a Polaroid currently stuck to the inside of Dustin’s locker.

“Well, damn,” he chuckled. “Look at Wheeler go, totally thought he was lying about that one. Hey, uh, did Nancy tell you anything about the Byers?”

“About Jonathan, mostly. I know he has a brother that’s friends with Mike and Dustin too.”

“Will.”

“I think so, can’t remember his name. I know Mike’s girlfriend is named Jane though.”

“So she didn’t tell you about all the weird shit that happened a few years ago, huh?” Eddie eyed her curiously as he pulled into the school’s street, the building waiting for them just a few blocks further.

“Define weird shit for me, please.”

“This town is fucking cursed, babe. That Will kid went missing in the woods and then the feds found a random body in the quarry and thought it was him. Everyone thought Mrs. Byers was insane because she kept saying that the body wasn’t Will, but she was right - Hopper found him alive a few days later. It was a huge mess, like, they had held a funeral and everything and now the kid is back like nothing happened?” Eddie shook his head in disbelief. “I thought maybe Nancy would have told you because around that same time, everyone thought this girl named Barb that was best friends with her had run away but actually she died from getting exposed to some weird chemicals from that lab in the middle of the woods where Will went missing and there was a whole conspiracy to cover it up. And also y’know, the fire thing last year.”

“Those are like a lot of strange as fuck things to have happened in such a short span of time,” Dottie frowned.

“I know, right? And Mike and Dustin are always in the middle of it somehow. Must suck.”

“Poor kids,” she said, sadly. “It’s probably hard for them to deal with all that and have to pretend everything’s normal.”

“People get crazy good at hiding things they’ve been through, especially when they were fucked up,” he shrugged.

Eddie finally pulled into the school’s parking lot, quickly locating Donny’s car and their friends standing around waiting for them. He honked the horn twice to call their attention and they waved at him to hurry up. Dottie looked at the boys through the windshield and thought about what Eddie had just said. He was right and she knew this because she’d gotten pretty good at pretending things were okay when they weren’t, not looking for pity or compassion because she’d simply assumed others would judge her for it. Being around Eddie had helped her open up, but there were some secrets that were buried too deep to unearth so casually, particularly when they filled her with shame. But maybe it was about time she stopped doing that. Maybe she owed it not only to her friends, but to herself, to stop feeling sorry for something that had been out of her control and such a special night seemed like the perfect moment to tell them the things that had been eating her from the inside out for a year now. But for now, Eddie was offering her his hand to help her get out of his van, and her friends were grinning at her like the cat that got the cream, so the truth would have to wait until later. There was a prom to attend first, and she was determined to enjoy this one to the fullest.

Gareth Coleman had never been known to be particularly patient about anything throughout his goddamn life. He was always eager to spill the beans, and he always wanted to spill them now, so the fact that he’d managed to keep this specific secret for almost a week had been impressive. Him, Jeff, and Donny had discussed Eddie’s weird behavior while on their way to the school, and they were all equally curious as to what was taking him and Dottie so long to arrive. Donny had already smoked a cig and Jeff had checked the bag in the backseat thrice by the time those two finally rejoined the group, looking a little bit suspicious and plenty cozy with one another. The boys didn’t have too much time to ponder on why though, because immediately upon arrival Eddie revealed that the reason he’d been late for dinner and why he’d stolen Dottie away for a private chat, was that he’d seen Ms. Kelly after school and had gotten confirmation that he’d finally be graduating high school with his friends. Hellfire Class of ‘86, baby, he’d said, pulling his friends into a huddle as they cheered and hollered at what was probably the most anticipated piece of news they’d gotten in a long time. However, Gareth was still impatient as ever, so he quickly peeled away from the group hug and dove into Donny’s car to retrieve their final surprise of the night and keep emotions running high.

“Since we’re all here and in a good fuckin’ mood,” he began saying, making everyone turn to him. “We have something for you, Dot.”

“For me? What did I do?”

“Well, it wouldn’t really be prom if you didn’t have one of these, so… here you go,” he pulled a white box from inside the bag and extended it to her; she accepted it curiously before peering inside.

“Wow, this is…,” she said, taken aback. “You guys! You didn’t have to buy anything for me!”

“Yes, we did,” Jeff said, moving forward to help her get her surprise out of the box.

In his hands, he held a very special corsage they’d all pitched in to buy for her since she didn’t have a formal date to the event to get it for her. The flowers were bright red, with the ribbon in black and gold; he slid it over her fingers until it sat prettily on her left wrist, her eyes filling with heartfelt tears at their thoughtful gesture. She didn’t have time to thank them, however, because soon enough Gareth was pulling smaller boxes from the bag and giving one to each of his friends.

“Could you help us with these?” Donny smiled, opening his box for her to see what he was holding.

Each of them had gotten themselves a boutonniere, two different styles but all in matching colors. Jeff and Eddie had chosen red flowers with black and gold ribbon much like her corsage, but Gareth and Donny had white flowers with red and gold ribbon. Between wet laughs, she pinned all decorations to their chests, wondering how she’d gotten so lucky to have these four men in her life who were all so eager to make every moment count when it mattered the most. Dottie tucked herself between Eddie and Jeff, and Donny turned his sister’s borrowed camera towards the group, blindly taking a picture and hoping he hadn’t accidentally cut any heads out of it. After checking on each other for the final time, the five teens turned towards the gymnasium doors and headed inside to get the party started.

The Hellfire Class of ‘86’s big entrance had been something to behold. No one had really been expecting the freaks to show up, much less dressed to the nines and arm in arm with that one girl that had moved to Hawkins a few months ago right in the middle of the school year, but there they were, and they demanded to be seen. Their matching outfits made them stand out in a sea of bold colors, pastels, and satin fabrics, but the fact that they moved like a cohesive unit anywhere they went was weirdly fascinating. First, they headed to get their picture taken and the photographer had been happy to capture what looked to be a healthy group of friends instead of awkward looking couples that would probably not make it anywhere further than a few months beyond graduation. Then, they lingered at a corner of the refreshments table when Chrissy Cunningham excitedly greeted them and chatted with them for a few long minutes, gushing over Dottie’s vintage dress who in turn couldn’t stop telling the blonde how beautiful she looked in her baby pink gown.

It was silly, really, how the most non-conformist friend group in Hawkins High had found some sort of genuine amusement in participating in what was probably the most stereotypical event in the life of any high school student, but they’d long ago stopped trying to explain themselves to others. Prom to them was a celebration of their friendship, a culmination of four shitty years (or six, in Eddie’s case), and the hope of a better future that felt as equally glorious as every moment spent together. They sipped on cheap vodka from a hip flask Gareth had smuggled in, they pestered the DJ to play Black Sabbath, Metallica, or even some Mötley Crüe to no avail, and they danced in a circle until their feet hurt. Dottie excused herself for a bit to dance with Chrissy to a Queen song, and then she’d stolen Nancy away from her friends for a few minutes, but she stayed pretty close to her boys all night, and in turn, they never left her alone. She’d been twirling around the dance floor with Jeff while Gareth escaped to the bathroom for a couple of minutes when Donny came to stand next to Eddie, who was watching her from the side with the most lovesick expression on his face known to man.

“Might wanna be less obvious with the staring there,” Donny nudged him goodnaturedly. “People are gonna notice you’re drooling.”

“Don’t really care if anyone sees me,” Eddie admitted. “Now that we’re all getting out of here I’m gonna ask her to be my girlfriend, so I don’t give a shit about what this lame ass school thinks about me anymore.”

“Damn, good luck, man,” he looked at him, impressed. “I mean, she’s totally gonna say yes but still, good luck.”

“Thanks, Don. You’re a good friend, you know that, right?”

“Been told once or twice but it’s always good to hear.”

“I should tell you more often,” Eddie smiled. “We’re all best friends, but… I dunno. I feel like you always got me the most.”

“Always thought you got me the most, actually,” Donny said, smiling back at him.

“Hey, Eddie!” Chrissy called, hurrying towards him all giggly and secretive. “We're up next!”

“Shit, already?”

“What’s going on?” Donny asked, looking at the blonde.

“I'm his Best Man," she said, like that explained everything before grabbing Eddie's hand and pulling him towards the dance floor.

Without having to squint too much, the gymnasium didn't look like the sweaty room the majority of the school's populace hated with a passion anymore. Chrissy and her fellow Prom Committee members had worked really hard to turn it into a different place, from the red carpet and fairy lights at the entrance to the golden streamers obscuring the bleachers to the sides, all the way to the myriad of rented mirror balls hanging from the ceiling; everything came together to create a portal to a world where Hawkins’ senior class could pretend like they were movie stars for a night. The theme was perfectly captured in the décor, and Eddie found it very fitting that the Hellfire Club's colors matched it so well - it made everything that much more special and movielike than they had intended when they agreed to display their club’s allegiance so blatantly.

Chrissy maneuvered them past several people towards where Jeff and Dottie danced to Falco’s Rock Me Amadeus, immediately joining in and not caring that classmates around them were looking at her like she'd grown two heads. She had worked her ass off so everyone could have a wonderful night and if she wanted to dance with the freaks, she felt like had rightfully earned her prize. After all, Eddie had said she was a freak too once and she took it to heart, considering it might as well have been the biggest compliment she had ever received in her 18 years on planet Earth. Jeff was still wary of Chrissy, not having had a full conversation with her in all four years of high school but he knew Eddie thought of her as a friend, and Dottie seemed to like her as well so he followed their lead and danced along with her, making both girls spin at the same time in tune with the song.

"Are you having fun?" Chrissy asked Dottie, holding onto her hands.

"So much fun! I voted for you, by the way."

"You did?! Oh my god, thank you!" the blonde beamed at her. "I'm so nervous, I hope I get it!"

"Are you kidding me? We all voted for you, you're totally gonna win," Dottie said with honesty, because there was no other way the night could end without Chrissy Cunningham winning Prom Queen.

"Don't jinx it!" she laughed, as the final notes of Rock Me Amadeus played out.

"Alright, alright, Hawkins High! Is everyone having fun?" the DJ asked over the music; everyone cheered in response. "Let's slow it down a little bit, shall we? This one's for the lovers in the room, but remember to leave space for Jesus in the middle, okay? Don’t want any teachers getting upset."

Dottie laughed at the DJ’s silly joke while the next song began, head whipping around to find Eddie who was already turned towards her and, dare she say, looking mighty sheepish. Oh, darling, please believe me, crooned Paul McCartney as the dancefloor became a little bit less crowded and couples began partnering up to share a sweet moment with one another. Eddie offered his hand to her and Dottie looked at their friends before taking it, but there was no need - Chrissy was fulfilling her Best Man duty to perfection, already swaying away from them with her hands on Jeff's shoulders. He looked mighty confused as to why a pretty cheerleader was slow dancing with him instead of going to find her jock boyfriend, but he was enjoying the small talk about what colleges they'd attend after graduation and Chrissy seemed to be having fun too so beggars couldn't really be choosers. Dottie let herself be pulled closer to Eddie and he held her in a way that didn't look entirely platonic, but they both silently agreed that they’d deal with whatever teasing they could get in the future. Right now, being in her not-yet-boyfriend’s arms while The Beatles played in the background was probably one of the happiest moments of Dottie’s life and she was going to enjoy it as much as she could without overthinking it.

"Got any other surprises up your sleeve I should prepare myself for?" Dottie asked, eyes shining under the disco balls.

"This was the last one for tonight, I promise," he said, fighting the urge to cradle her head into his chest; Mrs. O'Donnell was standing to a side looking for students who didn't leave space for Jesus and he didn’t want to risk it. "How are you feeling, princess?"

"Like this is the best prom I could have asked for."

"Yeah? Is it how you dreamed it would be?"

"It’s so much better. I'm lucky enough to be dancing with the prettiest boy in the room, what more could I ask for?" she smiled.

"Don't know, I'm dancing with the most beautiful girl in the room so I'm feeling pretty lucky too," he smiled back at her, his dimples on display.

“God we’re corny. How did you get the DJ to play our song?”

“I thought our song was Hot Patootie.”

“We have multiple. Answer the question, Munson, Donny and I asked him to play some Bruce Springsteen earlier and he said no.”

“I have friends in high places,” Eddie said cryptically, but undermined the mystery by looking at Chrissy who was laughing at something Jeff had said.

“You totally told her about us, didn’t you?” Dottie asked, but her grin told him she wasn’t mad about it.

“She’s gonna be my Best Man, I had to,” he shrugged, making her snort and shake her head.

“Already thinking about the wedding and he hasn’t even asked me out yet. You’re getting awfully cocky,” she raised an eyebrow, and he had the decency to look shy about it.

“I’m working on it, darling. Just give me time to make it special.”

Eddie pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear as they danced, not realizing that both Donny and Gareth were watching the pair like hawks, smirking at how obvious their affection was in a sea of couples that ranged from uncomfortable to loving. They, however, looked downright sickening, like they had been plucked from a cheesy coming of age movie where the two leads finally came to terms with the fact that all they’d ever wanted had been right in front of them all along.

“He’s totally head over heels for her, isn’t he,” Gareth said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Absolutely,” Donny said, taking a sip of his spiked fruit punch. “But she’s not far behind either.”

“Yeah,” the wild curly haired boy turned to look at his friend. “Wanna bet on how long it’ll take for them to get together?”

“I say twenty for graduation day.”

Nearing the end of prom night, their feet hurt from standing for so long and they were all starving for some salty junk food. Chrissy had, of course, ended up winning Prom Queen; Hellfire had cheered for her extra loud which hadn’t made the basketball team very happy but they couldn’t retaliate when there were so many teachers around. Besides, Andy’s eye was still very much purple and no one wanted to be sporting a face injury in their graduation photos. Jason Carver had won Prom King too, but much to his dismay, rumor had it that he’d barely beaten the football team’s captain for the title. Nonetheless, the newly crowned couple was dancing in the middle of the gym surrounded by other partnered up classmates when Eddie proposed what was probably the best plan of the night: leaving early and going to get fries and milkshakes at a cheap diner.

Dottie went in the car with Donny and Gareth this time, trying to avoid alerting their friends to her and Eddie’s blossoming relationship anymore than they’d already had, and the teens spent the entire ride gossiping about things they’d noticed had happened during the event, like how this girl from the swimming team had very publicly broken up with her boyfriend in front of everyone or how their History teacher had been dancing with the pretty Science teacher every freshman (namely, Dustin Henderson) had a crush on. When they arrived at the diner, Eddie opened the doors of his van and they sat in the parking lot to eat their fries and share various flavors of milkshakes, debating on which one was better. The boys were rowdy as they always were, Gareth fighting hard for peanut butter versus Jeff’s chocolate and Donny’s orange creamsicle, when Eddie went to grab more fries from the basket he was sharing with Dottie and noticed she was staring at her corsage, a blank expression on her face.

“Hey,” he said softly, trying not to startle her by rubbing the back of her hand with his pinky finger. “You okay? Wanna go home?”

“No, I’m okay. Just thinking.”

“Wanna tell me? I’m a good listener.”

“I know you are,” Dottie afforded him half a smile. “I… there was something I wanted to tell you but don’t wanna bring the mood down.”

“Uh-oh,” he pouted dramatically. “Am I in trouble already?”

“Shut up,” she shoved him lightly. “No, it’s just… it’s about New York and- I don’t know, we’re having such a fun time. Feels like I’m gonna fuck it up. It’s fine, I can tell you guys some other time.”

“Tell us what?” Jeff asked, making her notice that all the boys were quietly looking at her.

“You don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to,” Gareth hurried to say. “-but we’re always down to hear you if you wanna, like, get something off your chest or whatever.”

“Yeah! You’re not fucking anything up, we’re just talking,” Donny said.

Dottie looked around at her friends who were waiting to follow her lead whatever that may be and knew that if she was ever going to say anything, then this was it. This was the moment where she let them all in, where she let them see just how truly damaged she was, and they’d have to decide whether this baggage was something they wanted to help her with or if it was too much for them to handle. Eddie’s ringed hand sneaked behind her, caressing her spine back and forth on top of her dress for support. She took a deep breath and set the basket of fries to the side.

“I, uh- you know how I said my junior prom sucked and that’s why I kinda didn’t wanna come tonight before we made plans?” she began, and they all nodded. “So, there’s actually a pretty big reason for that.”

“You said you didn’t have a date for junior prom and you felt bad so you didn’t go. That’s why I said we should all go together,” Gareth said, making the other teens turn to him in surprise. He clearly knew more about it than they all did and he hadn’t said anything.

“I lied. I did go and I did have a date. I had a boyfriend actually,” she said grimly.

“Oh.”

“How long did you date that guy?” Donny asked, sparing a glance at Eddie who was staring at her nervous hands playing with her Mom’s engagement and wedding rings, spinning them around her left middle finger.

“Around six months. His name was Tyler, we went to school together. He was… nice, I guess? I really liked him,” she muttered. “And like, not to overshare but he was my first real kiss, you know? My first everything. And he made me feel special for a while.”

“What happened?” Jeff asked, frowning and shifting closer, his hand coming to rest on her ankle.

“We went to prom together. Flynn, his older brother, took us and the whole ride was so awkward because he kept trying to talk to Tyler and he would just stare ahead, like he was angry or something. He wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Flynn or Tyler wouldn’t look?”

“Tyler. Actually, Flynn was pretty awesome, best older brother ever. He was pre-med, just… a really cool guy. Kinda miss him, he was fun to be around. He had wild stories about college, but not like drunk wild, just general weird things that happened around campus,” Dottie smiled, remembering the nice older guy that gave her advice on how to apply to colleges.

“He sounds nice,” Donny said.

“He was! Honestly, I think the best part about dating Tyler was that I could hang out with Flynn a lot.”

“So… what happened at prom?” Donny prompted her to continue.

“Um, Flynn dropped us off and Tyler said he wanted to talk before we went in. I thought he was nervous, y’know? I mean, I was nervous too. But he basically said he didn’t wanna date me anymore because he was gonna go to this science whatever camp during summer, and we were gonna be so far away and he just couldn’t deal with long distance so it was over.”

“What?” Eddie’s eyebrows raised on his forehead until they were hidden completely by his bangs. He was prepared to wait for her all four years of college and this fucking guy couldn’t handle being two months apart? “That’s such bullshit!”

“That’s what I said!” she exclaimed, getting angry again at the memory. “But then he said that he didn’t like me anymore because I didn’t put in any effort, and that other girls got pretty for their boyfriends and- and that hurt because he knew that I hadn’t been able to get a dress I liked for prom, so a friend’s sister let me borrow an old one from her.”

“What a fucking douchebag,” Gareth said, scoffing. “You always look pretty, what was his deal?”

“Wish I didn’t know, but, um, that one hurt way more when I found out,” she said, tears starting to form along her waterline. “Because I obviously went home after that, right? He didn’t want me there, and I didn’t want to be there either, so I got on the first bus I saw and that was it. I didn’t show up for the final week of school, and then I went to see my grandparents and stayed away from everyone all summer.”

“What about your friends?” Jeff asked.

“My Dad returned the dress for me and I called Tracey to say thank you, and that was it. She didn’t ask about what happened and no one else called.”

“You mean that no one cared you went missing for months?” Eddie’s face dropped.

“That’s kinda how summers were like for me in New York anyway,” she admitted, and he moved his hand from her back to her hip to bring her closer to him and into a side hug. “I was sure that everyone knew and that’s why no one called. Like, what would they even say? It would have been so awkward. But then school started again and I found out what happened during the holidays and everything made sense.”

“Why? What happened?” Gareth frowned. “What did they do while you were gone?”

“Tyler went to his dumb summer camp two weeks after school ended and got together with my friend Jeannie,” Dottie said, fat drops finally falling from her eyes. “God, why am I still crying about it? I don’t even care about them anymore, I’m pathetic.”

“Fuck that! You’re not pathetic, they are!” Jeff exclaimed, gripping her ankle tighter to get to look up from her hands. “What a bitch, how could she do that to you?”

“Okay, I’m gonna kill both of them,” Gareth deadpanned. “We should totally kill both of them, right, guys?”

“Hey, come on, don’t cry,” Donny said, shifting closer until he was on Dottie’s other side, squishing her between himself and Eddie. “Do you want us to kill them? Because you know we would. I’ll bring the shovel, Eddie has the van, we can make it happen. Just say the word and we’ll be there.”

“I know you would,” she managed to chuckle through the tears. “It’s fine, I just… I never really told anyone this other than my Dad. The only reason my family knows is because he had to explain to everyone why I was locking myself in my room to cry all the time and wouldn’t leave home. I worried everyone a lot those days.”

“You were keeping this one really close to the chest, huh?” Eddie said, things clicking into place for him. Her sudden desperation when he mentioned Chrissy’s name mid freakout, her willingness to hide her own heartbreak if it meant they’d still be friends, the way she kept to herself all those months before she joined them. “Can I ask… did someone tell them anything? Did your other friends know?”

“They all knew. Tracey and Benji said they were sorry but that was kinda it. And all of them sat during lunch with Jeannie, who kept bringing Tyler over to our table and literally fucking sitting on him every day so I had no friends for six months except for Mrs. Randall.”

“Who’s Mrs. Randall?” Eddie asked, vaguely aware that he’d seen that very same name signed at the front of her well-loved Anne of Green Gables copy.

“The school’s librarian. I had lunch with her every day and she helped me write the essay I sent to UMich. She’s awesome, honestly. Dunno what I would have done without her.”

“I’m so sorry you went through all that,” Jeff said. “You didn’t deserve it, and I’m glad you aren’t friends with those assholes anymore.”

“Yeah! You have us now!” Gareth smiled, throwing himself over Eddie’s legs to join in on the hugging party. “We played D&D together which means we’re bonded for life. Can’t get rid of us anymore.”

“He’s right, princess,” Eddie added, hand coming up to brush her tears away. “It’s in the Player’s Handbook. You signed a blood contract.”

“I love you,” she said, looking at him earnestly before turning to her other boys. “I love all of you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything before, it was just so embarrassing to admit and I didn’t want you to know I’m the biggest loser on Earth and decide you didn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“You’re not a loser,” Donny said. “And those people weren’t your real friends, they were shitheads. That’s not on you, Dot. And we love you too, or else we wouldn’t be wearing suits right now.”

“Everything you guys did today… thank you. I’m gonna remember this forever, you have no idea how much it means to me.”

“We know,” Gareth said, looking at all his friends. “That’s why we did it.”

In the back of Eddie’s van, with the doors open to the empty parking lot waiting to be filled with teens looking for a snack, Dottie shed yet another layer of fear and anxiety. The air smelled vaguely of weed and fries, their forgotten milkshakes sweating rings onto the hard floor, but no one made a move to get themselves out of the puppy pile they had sunk into, five sets of legs and arms tangled with one another and the calm understanding that physical comfort was something they all needed at that moment. They had all been outcasts, freaks, easily disposable and replaceable throughout their lives, but here, in this van, they were invaluable and unique. Here the Hellfire Class of ‘86 was home, and there was nothing in the world that could convince them otherwise. Here they belonged, and birds of a feather flock together after all.

taglist (comment below or send me an ask if you wanna be added!): @munsonology @kurdtbean @every1lovesanunderdog @eg-dr3amer3

[astrophileous]

Important! Please read!

I'm tagging the people who are on the Love Bugs taglist, so if you don't feel like reading through all of this that's fine!

Tag(s): @camilaheroine @crazyunsexycool @whateverrrrrrrrs @wifeyofeveryone @louderfortheback @marvelousgoldroses

Hello everyone, first of all I wanna start by saying I'm sorry for having seemingly disappeared for the past week. I know that I was supposed to be uploading two new parts of Love Bugs on Monday and Thursday, and I've missed both days so far without so much as an explanation. The truth is, I've been logging in and out for days trying to come up with a justified excuse for this delay, but I decided today that I will just tell you the truth of what's really happening.

I'm not doing very good at the moment.

I know this seems like a pathetic excuse, but it's the truth. As some of you know, I'm a full time college student and I've been slammed with school work for the past week. I'm tired all the time. Whenever I have even a little bit of free time, I use it to sleep. Life is just so hectic for me right now that writing Love Bugs has been kinda put in the back burner.

But that's not all the reason why I've been MIA.

A few days ago, someone left me an anonymous ask telling me that I've done a terrible job on the last few parts of Love Bugs.

Now, at first, I was gonna be the bigger person and ignore them altogether. But apparently that one little comment did more damage than I ever thought it could. For the past week, every time I went to revise my drafts for Love Bugs, all I could think about was how badly I needed them to be done perfectly to make sure no one else was gonna have this same thought about the upcoming parts. I kept thinking that what I wrote was lacking something. That it wasn't good enough to be published yet. And as a drastic measure, I ended up uploading nothing at all.

I know it seems silly to be this badly affected by one rude comment when I've gotten nothing but love from everyone else. But I guess this is your daily reminder that words do hurt, and even if they are written on the internet, it doesn't make them hurt less because behind all of these makeshift profiles and avatars are real people with real feelings and emotions.

Today, I finally braced myself to make this post. I thought it was unfair for all of you to not be offered at least an explanation about what's happening. If you're wondering when I will finally upload the next chapter of Love Bugs, then I'm sorry to tell you that I don't know yet. I have one completed part, but as I've explained above, I just keep going back to revise it again and again because I'm just not satisfied with it.

So, there you go. The reason behind my absence. I want to remind all of you too while we're here to please, please, please be kind to all of the fic writers and/or other content creators in your fandom. We're all doing all of this free of charge. So please, if you don't like something we make, scroll past it. Don't be mean. We don't owe you anything. Don't ruin something that's supposed to be fun just because you don't find it as enjoyable as others might.

This is all I'm gonna say for now. Hopefully, I will have gotten my shit together by the time next upload schedule rolls around so that you guys could have the next part of Love Bugs on Monday.

Thank you for reading all the way through of this long-ass rant. Have a great day xx

[lunarubra]

This is me blabbing away and trying to make sense of this crazy moment that's my life... Kind of like a PSA, without a real structure.

(Let's start with an apology, this was supposed to be short, just a couple of lines long, asking for some forgiveness for being so absent, and it turned into a small vent about my crazy life. Synthesis has never been one of my strongest features, apparently.)

Life has been crazy lately. April, May, and June are always hectic months for a teacher, and this year looks like it's going to be even worse. Right now, I'm juggling a full teaching post, a university research, a social life with a partner, a new kitten bringing me everyday dead lizards (she is a serial killer in disguise), and being selected as an internal commissioner for the high school diploma this year. And no, the last one is not an honor; it's more like a punishment for younger professors who don't have the authority to say no to older colleagues, plus a ton of paperwork and two more months of work while everyone else is on holiday. Yuppie for me. But joking aside, I'm not complaining about my job. I'm happy to teach, and compared to a lot of other jobs out there, I feel privileged to do what I'm doing. I love my kiddos, and even though most of the time they behave like dunderheads, teaching supports my creativity and gives me so many insights into my life.

But let's get to the point of all this. I am feeling slightly guilty for not being as active here as I should be and for not having enough mental energy and time to dedicate myself to writing more. To my lovely mutuals, I'm in awe of all that you're posting right now. I apologize for not replying and commenting on your amazing content as much as I would like. I just wanted to say, it's not because I'm disappearing; I'm just really busy, and I can't wait for the moment when I'll feel more chilled and can treat myself to all your new chapters, moodboards, and all the amazing content you're creating. I know I am being a small silent weight in your tag list, so thank you for still including me <3

About "Shadow of the Sea," I have a chapter ready and one WIP of the following one. I want to post the one that's ready sometime in the next week, but after that, I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next one. So Jiyan and Cillian are taking a small break. I'm going to continue the story; this is not a goodbye. I have many ideas and plans for those two idiots; I'm just waiting for some writing energy and time in my schedule.

And yeah, I understand if you're thinking, "Are you aware that your blog and story are read by less than 10 people and no one really gives a damn?" Yes, I am aware, and this post is mostly for me, writing it down it helps me a lot, giving some sort of clarity. However, I've had the chance to meet amazing creators since I got busy on Tumblr again a couple of months ago. People who supported me and helped me, so this is more me trying to explain why my support isn't at its 100% right now and trying to excuse myself since I feel like a horrible mutual right now.

Ah, one last thing, maybe the only thing that will pop up on my blog are some "Slow Horses" GIFs. Thanks to Alex, @cillmequick, Jackson Lamb, and River Cartwright have become my new obsession, and creating GIFs is one of the few things that calm me after a busy hectic day and make me use some of that creative energy left.

I think that's it. Please still free to write me and contact me about my fic, blog, shenanigans; I will try to reply as soon as possible. Sending you all a big hug if you arrive till the end of this long long lengthy text xD

[iplaywithstring]

I've been feeling especially awful on weekends lately. It seems every weekend I'm sure I'm coming down with something. Low grade fever. Headache. Body aches. Just not quite right.

Which, for those of you unfamiliar, is a sign of ME/CFS flaring up. The ambiguous "flu like symptoms" really do seem like you're getting the flu, but then a couple days of rest later and things are back to baseline.

This is not sustainable and could lead to a bigger crash, and I don't have time for that.

I'm hoping it's down to 2 factors

My last class was brutal and very stressful, moreso than any other class I've taken so far for this program

My kids are in the school production which opens April 4 - the last few weeks have been very hectic.

I'm only working 1 day a week (last month it was 12 hours over 2 days), so I'm going to say that's a positive change. The new class I'm in is much less stressful and material I am more familiar with.

So maybe if I get through the next two weeks things will level off again? Term ends April 21 and I get two weeks off, which will also help.

[princepestilence]

NYR: October in review.

Post-October horoscope: "You have done enough."

Sort of a huge month in every way. Here's some of why:

Submitted my dissertation. I have now completed a PhD. It's exactly as anticlimactic as I anticipated. But for a brief while, I can solicit praise from people just by mentioning it, so I am going to. .

Celebrated my nephew’s first birthday! He took his first steps by himself hands-free while we were all there watching, which was so nice. I didn't have much opportunity to see him over this first year, and being there by chance for that milestone as well was special. .

Survived the busiest time of work. The lead up the next year's season launch is always insane and hectic for everyone, including me, so to be doing that on top of a PhD was not the easiest thing in the world. And yet! Proof of capability that it was all not only done, but also done well. .

See Frankenstein at the theatre. As I mentioned last month, this one has been a recurring feature in my life: a major text in my final years of high school, which got me thinking of monsters as something I loved in an academic field as well as just in general; one of my favourite conferences I've been to as an academic, which was 2018--to mark 200 years since publications; and now a production a few weeks before handing in my PhD. And it was great! I was really impressed with the quality of all of it. .

Went to our friends' wedding. And it was lovely to see them so happy, and so adored by everyone there.

In November, I will:

Finish up proofreading gig. This is my priority for this weekend and next week, and then we'll be all clear of everything of this kind at least until the end of the year. And thank god. .

Season 2025 launch. Less than a week away! It's always a huge day, but then it'll be done for another year. .

Celebrate my birthday. First full lap of my thirties completed. It'll be the first birthday of my life without my mum as well, which is going to be difficult for the obvious reasons. This time last year, we were planning my 30th together, and talking about her 60th, and she was so excited. The last time I danced with her was at that party and I think it about it all the time. Grief and gratitude.