#these memes gives me life lmao

[akiacia]

some of the right words

[fenori]

some bettos feat. bettel 2 and the jester's gambit

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: a digital drawing of Hunter and Willow from the owl house based on the "lesbians doing makeup" meme. Hunter is lying beneath Willow, who straddles him while doing his makeup. He looks at her somewhat dazed and she looks at him fondly. the background is a mid-tone blue. End ID]

This is what they are. To me

[moon-mage]

Me and @eeveelution4567 as Vil and Epel wilding out on Roblox last night.

[depressedtheatrekiddo]

How many references of Les Mis am I allowed to put on my history presentation on France revolutions that go from 1830 to 1848

[celestialholz]

Surrendering fucking Sunflora.

Oh Brassius. Brassius, Brassius, Brassius. I'm going to have to murder you with my bare hands for this one. Don't even need to wake up the Armarouge - you take an extended nap, king, keep those cannons fresh.

Did you know guys that there are thirty-three Surrendering Sunflora in and around Artazon? I do, because I've just spent forty-five minutes of the only life I will ever have working it out. And then another twenty ensuring I'm not wrong, which I possibly still am because this bitch has hidden these things everywhere! Arceus has placed me on this earth only to suffer.

But in spending over an hour on this, finally my soul can rest, because I have confirmation. Confirmation of what, exactly?

... Well, every single Surrendering Sunflora location is representative of what Hassel means to Brassius, in one way or another.

Might want to get your popcorn for this one, friends, maybe grab a blanket...

First though, before I attempt the frankly ridiculous task of explaining all these locations and their meanings, corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures:

They're the same picture.

Hassel is Sunflora in human form and with more dragons, right down to his mostly-green-and-yellow colour scheme and sunshine personality. And we know from this little extract that he is the direct inspiration for Surrendering Sunflora, because after Brassius tells you Hassel saved his life, he adds:

Much like The Harvest is part-Arboliva, part-Brass and part-Hass, as seen here in respective shape, spikiness and dragon colour...

... Surrendering Sunflora is part-Sunflora, part-Hass and part-Brass, in form, representation, and mood at the time of its creation.

Anyway, with that established, a map that took me another forty minutes to put together:

This is the location of every Surrendering Sunflora in and around this goddamn hellscape of a town. (/j, it's very pretty, but I am a salty girl.)

Now, some of these are notably easier to figure out than others, but just for clarity's sake... one to thirty-three, a breakdown. (Of the numbers, not me. Although you pull any more of this shit Brassie, it will be my personal breakdown.) I would screenshot every one, but Tumblr's 10-pic limit is having none of it, so I'll show off the more interesting ones at points and note the rest in text. I will also be looking at them from the perspective of being the Sunflora - the direction the sculpture itself faces.

Now, bear in mind... these are allegorical. I've had to surmise what they mean in most cases, but... that's what an artist does. Art asks you to consider the artist's intent, to interpret what they meant by location, form, colour... whatever the piece entails. It's why we have art critics, why we have museums and art galleries - and all of these point to one singular conclusion: Brassius? Super fucking gay. If you've ever made a fic or a piece of art that hides small details or leaves things just a little to one's imagination, you've been Brassius with these sculptures.

... And frankly, why the hell else are they where they are? These are chosen spots. Most of them aren't even central, or helpful where they are, without an alternate dialogue to them.

So, let's begin!

One: just across and to the left of Two, and directly facing Glaseado Mountain. Hass leading him upwards, to literal higher heights. Doesn't get any grander or higher than Glaseado.

Two: atop a cliff face, and it's already pic time!

This one has a few things to say. First, it's overlooking the gym, second it's pointing directly south if you look at my mini-map. This is one of several that faces south, which is valid - most of Sunflora's dex entries tell us that it loves facing the sun, and in terms of planetary orbit, south is the direction in the day where the sun is at its height... which is telling, when Hassel led Brass out of depression, being his literal sunshine.

Three: right beneath the centre of the maze. Hass guiding him to the heart, his 'core' - helping him find meaning in life.

Four: also in the maze, but near the entrance. A guiding hand when one is lost, at a genuine 'dead end'. A little girl in another dead end of this maze comments how lost she is.

Five: is actually hilarious.

Sir are you fucking kidding me I will fight you in an Every Wich Way parking lot right now

Six: facing local small cliffs. Climbing the smaller hills first is a notable method of depression recovery, and given that Brass' health issues also seem physical, this is a small, easy-to-climb hill - a step to feeling healthier.

Seven and Eight: greeting you as you walk into town for the first time from the direction of Mesagoza. A feeling of comfort and homeliness, which two men with such a connection clearly have.

Nine: has a similar vibe - straight ahead of Seven and Eight, the first thing to greet you in the central plaza. The kind of welcome feeling Brass gets from Hass.

Ten and Eleven: are very obvious. These two directly face the maze, and are facing one another on opposite sides. Trust, warmth, familiarity. Interestingly, one faces east, and one west - where the sun rises and the sun sets. Hassel's always there for him.

Twelve: faces the way out to Levincia beyond, because welcoming works from either side of town.

Thirteen and Fourteen: are both either underneath the gym arena, or very nearly underneath, and Fourteen looks straight at the gym. What did I say about these two taking one another into battle?

Fifteen: is facing the pool... for a man who cries a lot. No further explanation required, but this is one of my favourites for how adorable and accepting it is on Brass' part.

Sixteen, Seventeen and Eighteen: the first of the climbing frame Sunfloras, and all of them are in a line, facing the gym. See Thirteen and Fourteen, but... these ones are also elevated, as though Hassel is watching over him during battle. Another gesture of support. They also happen to overlook a Heterarchical Loop, which we'll revisit in a mo...

Nineteen: is on the side of the climbing frame, staring at the Sunflora field used during the gym challenge. Given that it's also staring at said field's house, this is one of two things - emotional vigilance, or home comforts. It's also beside a version of The Harvest, which we know is part-Hass too.

Twenty: climbing frame, above Sixteen, Seventeen and Eighteen - an even higher guardian, and also one that can see the arena. This is also directly across from the Paradoxical Popper, and coupled with what I just mentioned about the Heterarchical Loop... well, this brilliant piece of meta that you've probably already read (top job, fellow theorist <3) shows us that yeah, these old pieces by an unnamed artist are probably also Brassie's, which makes this completely adorable - we know from Art (4) that Brass considers his old pieces 'shallow trash'. By his masterpieces overlooking them, they act as a reminder - that Hassel believes in him, that he can do brilliant things - that his new work has a purpose. Even if they aren't his old works, the fact that he places them literally higher up shows that he has more respect for something inspired by Hassel than any other works.

Twenty-One and Twenty-Two: the last of the climbing frame ones, and again, at height, and directly facing the gym. Just behind these is a climbing wall, which heads up towards a dragon-coloured Harvest. Considering that we can infer that Hassel influenced Surrendering Sunflora first, as Brass tells us that he created it directly after Hass saved him, having to head up to a Harvest coloured with Hass' type is really quite sweet as it was likely a result of their connection later down the line. But regardless of order, these two are again indicative of Hass' care for him.

Twenty-Three: is... well, at the back of someone's house. What's fun about this one is that A. there is literally no reason for this to be here if it's simply about showing off an art piece, and B. even in the daytime, as you can see, this spot? Perpetually in the shade. Even when Brassius feels dark, there's Hassel - his permanent sunshine, making sure he never feels too alone, or abandoned in a place no one would look for him.

Another of my favourites - the symbolism here is gorgeous.

Twenty-Four and Twenty-Five: greet you if you walk into town from the Levincia side, which is very much along the same lines as Seven and Eight - a warm, sunshine welcome, a peacefulness of spirit.

Twenty-Six: stares directly at the side of the Go-for-Broke Grill... which just so happens to be where one finds Encounter Power: Dragon food. Goddamn gay people and their apples...

Twenty-Seven: is behind the Grill, and looking straight at the Sunflora field. The Sunflora field is not only a core part of the gym test, but the specific direction of this one points at the house attached to the field. So not only is this field full of sunshine, it's overlooked by it, too. Anything directed towards a house also speaks of hearth and home - a comfort, a feeling of literally being 'at home' in someone's presence.

Twenty-Eight and Twenty-Nine: stand as guardians to the Sunflora field, right on either side of its gate. Now, for this one, I would like to draw your attention to a piece of dialogue Hass gives you during the League:

"I am Hassel, the dragon guarding the final fortress of the Elite test."

Whilst this field is no fortress, these ones nevertheless stand taller than any other Surrendering Sunflora in the town - the 'protectors' of the field of sunshine, the warmth and the light Brass has experienced beneath Hass. Now, given that Hass also tells you in the League that his job as a teacher is to guide students and watch them grow... well, here we are. He's helped Brassius grow, prosper, and find his inner light, and he'll protect him at all costs from that darkness. And size matters, here - these are big, they stand out, therefore they are deliberately important. This is Brassius' greatest impression of his love - as a protector, and a guide to the light.

Thirty: stands in the Sunflora field itself. This one is notably smaller than the gatekeepers, the usual size of those around town, and is just across from a dragon Harvest in the same field. Again, why not put your emotional sunshine in a field of your actual ones? (And why not do it twice, y'know, because you're massively dramatic...)

Thirty-One: sees our final return to the climbing frame - this is one of the ones I missed originally, because it's directly beneath it. There's another one down here too, right beneath the Popper, but as they mean the same thing as Twenty-Three, we'll count them together - a location always dark and in shade, illuminated. They're also hemmed in by the wooden walls of the climbing frame - they are, quite literally, trapped - like one might be in their own mind, during depression, without a source of light.

Thirty-Two: is probably my favourite of them all. This harks back to number One, overlooking Glaseado, except...

Well, this looks at another mountain, and it's literally not in Artazon - it's the one I showed you in the very first photo of this post. The location box for Artazon doesn't even crop up. It is, however, facing direct south, but... what's it doing here?

In facing the sun's peak, this one exists to show us that there isn't a mountain Hassel can't help Brassius overcome, however high. Look at where you end up, if you follow this cliff directly from this Sunflora:

The highest peak you can see all of Artazon clearly from, considerably overlooking every other Sunflora that already overlooks core parts of the town important to Brassie. You know what they call that level of symbolism? Fucking love.

And finally, we end on Thirty-Three, which... well. I think we all know what a Pokemon Center does. It heals, it brings your Pokemon back from the brink of death - and who do we know, who's done that for Brassius?

... Pokemon Centers are free, and in this generation, even feature a kindly Nurse Joy who will offer you guidance and assistance through the big, wide, open world of Paldea from the goodness of her own heart.

... This whole town is a love letter. At every turn, you run into a new page of narrative through these Sunfloras: you slot together another meaning, you see the hearts of two men woven into every little stitch. And whether or not this was Brassius' intention, it was almost certainly the intention of those who made him. This is what art directors do, this is what devs hide for you to find. This is Pokemon's ultimate Easter egg, and it is fucking beautiful.

I don't know any more than you lovely people do if they're ever going to officially confirm Hassius as a romantic duo - in love, married, whatever. And I'd love to see it as much as you all would, but... well, I already have. Here it is, right in front of us, if only we're willing to look. Of all the meta I've posted on these two so far, this... yeah, this is the most gay and glorious of them all. And I've still got more to say, just... not on this. We're good here.

... Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do that killing thing I mentioned earlier, though maybe after a nap... sir you must die by my own hand for CRIMES AGAINST MY FREE TIME. (jk, king. Love you, keep doing what you're doing. I am but an average poster without your delicious homosexuality. xoxo)

[kgthesillyclown]

Me fr when they banned my twitter acc permanently:

[claires-audience]

People really be going out in the field, doing the God’s work finding motivation

Meanwhile Me: *opens the fridge door, stares at the fridge for 1 min, closed it and open it back in hopes of a burrito magically appearing right there

[burntblueberrywaffles]

Hey! You changed your pfp too! I almost didn't recognise you 🙈 but then I read your name

Yeah haha I wanted to change it for a while but couldn’t decide on a picture, so I drew a pfp, changed it, decided I hated the new pfp, so then I made this one by drawing a background that matched my new header and adding the cat meme. (I’m not sure I like it yet, but that might just be bc I’m not used to it so I’ll give it a bit more time before I try to change it again lol)

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodgerman]

When I was younger I thought beat boxing meant aggressively hitting the air and idk why but I like this a lot more than what it actually means.

[sharama]

😭 I hope today goes so much better than the rest of the week.

I'm so freaking tired. Need to take a 50 year long nap.

[justherejusttherejusteverywhere]

Urge to draw clones is strong tonight.

[misfitgirlwrites]

Lucifer Having A Crush On You/How Would He React?

I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'M NOT--

It's time for my fictional love and life and all I hold dear in my daydreams. Bitches, bros, nonbinary hoes, and genderfluid fucks, I present to you the Big Dick in Charge

I may reference works that I've read and when I do I'll drop their @ and link to their story it is law that you read it if you read mine, I don't make the rules

CW: none, slightly angsty but nothing too intense!

Alright, doves, this is post-season one. Lucifer now resides in the hotel with everyone and is slowly adjusting to being graced with Alejandro's Alastor's presence every day.

Let's be honest, our baby pays attention but puts in minimal effort. Saying that the days went by in a blur would be an understatement. Even conversations would be forgotten after a few short moments. On to the next task. Full focus on this thing. Once that's done? Well onto the next task! No tasks? Free time to spend with Charlie!

Things would start slow, and to really interact, you'd most likely start to approach him first. Maybe you've spent long enough watching the blond anxiously bounce around the hotel and graciously give himself a bit too much for even the Big Boss of Hell.

A timid approach from you, offering to help with whatever he's currently doing. Maybe you make snacks for everyone in the hotel and hand him his personally :)

And so it begins! A greeting here, a greeting there, slightly awkward conversations that slowly start to feel less forced with the little information you learn about each other along the way.

It's...nice! Refreshing! Lucifer would be more excited than anything and talking to you would become a part of his regular routine without much thought on the matter. You'd occasionally be on his mind just a little more, and he'd start to seek you out himself too.

I know you're already seeking him out. Bitch I'M seeking him out.

Helping with chores around the hotel quickly turns into simply enjoying the other's company.

One day you gift him his very own ceramic duck! You could have paid for it from somewhere or made it yourself.

Either way, he'd fucking LOVE it! Honestly, if you decide to try your hand at making it, he'd love it even more with all the rough edges and little bumps (it was made out of love for my babies who never touched clay in their lives)

In response, please expect many gifts in return. I like to think it's been a while since he's gotten a genuine gift like this

(Bonus headcanon: Charlie will see this and will come to you the next day with a list of things she wants to gift him and you two are unofficially officially the Buy Lucifer Anything Duck-Themed duo)

Lucifer loves how you react when he gifts you your very own rubber duck. Your smile and happiness always seemed contagious to him. It only led to him making/getting you more things.

You will have a rubber duck collection by the end of this, but what can you really say? Each one of them is based on something you mentioned before. A movie character, a book character, a cartoon character, even friends or family members if they were mentioned. The gesture is way too sweet for you to turn down, even if it is the 30th duck you've received.

Now prepare for what I like to call the "get along t-shirt" phase but both parties are willing LMAO.

Lucifer will be by your side as long as you'll accept the company and if you're reading this and we brain the same, that will be all the time.

I love the GenZ!Reader memes and fics. Someone show this man bacon pancakes and if it was already done, SHOW ME.

Between his relationship with Charlie and with you, Lucifer actually feels the need and wants to be a little more present bit by bit. He notices that he is spending less time in his head, but he continues on in fear of fucking it up if he thinks too hard about it.

So instead he'll 100% focus on the little familiarity of happiness, as small as those moments may be sometimes. This is EXACTLY why the thought of him potentially feeling romantic interest again goes right over his head.

Who notices first, you ask? Charlie, of course. You slowly but surely became one of his main topics in conversation, it wasn't hard for her to pick up on it and ask.

Baby boy would straight up deny it at first. Him?? Liking someone else??? LMAO, am I right? Of course, after he does this, he'll have the time to actually pay attention to his actions.

So then he'll notice how excited he is every morning knowing that you'll be the first face he sees. He'll notice how he managed to fit you into any task he had to do. When he'd get lunch for himself and Charlie he'd have the automatic thought of making something for you as well. Even when the day was over, he'd be thinking about spending the next day with you. To be frank, you were constantly on his mind. 

Once he notices it's a big mental "fuck". Nothing about you is wrong of course, it's him, or so he thinks.

Let's start with the elephant in the room, or shall I say the ring on his finger lmao

In Lucifer's mind, he's still married technically. Even thinking about it in a technical term was a new development and it made him feel absolutely horrible. Lilith left, sure, but who knows what happened? Regardless of how he felt, he didn't want to hurt her.

But at the same time what about him? Lucifer hasn't been happy in a long time and he's finally building that again, not just with Charlie, but with you as well. He didn't want to just cut you out, he didn't want to hurt you either.

Plus, did you even like him? How would he even approach you? If he wanted to, even after thinking about everything.

Who was he kidding, of course, he still wanted you!

@liveontelevision *drops to my knees and bows* they worded it extremely well here and if you're reading this but you haven't read this already or you clicked the link then clicked back here, go back and read it. I don't care how long it is. Do the thing then come back.

Welcome back. It was good, wasn't it? I know.

The only awkward period for you two is the week-long contemplation of everything (half him attempting not to do what he always does when stressed but by the time he realizes he already made like 30 ducks--)

He would clearly go out of his way to either try and talk to you or avoid you. Or a cute mixture of both where he makes a scene approaching you, realizes he's not ready yet, then makes a scene so he can disappear *finger guns*

A little crisis here, a few little rubber ducks there, and a looooonnnggg conversation with Charlie and Maggie Vaggie.

Those are the ingredients to a semi-stable Lucifer with enough bravado to talk to you normally again.

He'd apologize for the times he basically pulled a Houdini in your face and he'd explain himself fully, all while also confessing his love for you.

It's choppy, it's fast-paced in some areas, and the poor blond was ready to disappear at any given moment, but that's what made it so real for you.

The weight that's lifted off of him couldn't be described, and neither could the joy that welled in him the moment he saw your beautiful smile and heard nothing but your acceptance and love.

What an emotional roller-coaster, am I right?

Lucifer Taglist: @alastorssimp @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @heart-of-the-morningstar

Requests are open! If you'd like to be tagged in future Lucifer or Hazbin Hotel content, please let me know! My asks and DMs are open to all!

[gay-dorito-dust]

lmao this is my first time giving a request. Could you maybe do dick Grayson head cannons?

Most of these hdc come from my little brain that I thought fit Dick in general, it’s not based on stuff (some of them are but not all) if ppl agree or don’t agree, I couldn’t care less honestly. Also thanks for the request anon, hope you like it! 🫶

I know I write him as a little goofy goober but he tends to play up this character so that he doesn’t have to open up about anything. Is it foolproof? Not entirely and it solely depends on the person and their relationship to him,those of whom that pick up what he’s putting down, and those (you) who can easily see through this facade and know something is up.

He’s more often than not the type who will become more affectionate in private where it’s just you, him and Hayley. Dick doesn’t need anybody else other then you two, his confidants as he so playfully called you both one day, and he’s more then content then he’s ever been.

Older sibling syndrome is strong in this boy.

Foot wars are a common occurrence in your shared apartment as you push against the others foot with your own to see who’s going to be victorious, only for you to accidentally smack him in the face with your foot and the foot war becomes ten times worse, seeing as how as Dick often wins them more then you did.

He will never stop feeling guilty about Jason’s death. Never. That boy who was filled with love and life and claimed that being robin was magic was still within Jason somewhere, dick just knows this to be true, even if Jason loves to claims that that little kid was gone.

And while he’s glad that Jason is back in his life, dick couldn’t help but feel as though he could’ve done better by him at times, holding onto that guilt and shame for not being their for his brother that still killed him inside to this day whenever he saw Jason laugh and or smile at something. It hurts but Dick will never stop being in Jason’s corner, not once. If Gotham was against Jason then Dick will gladly be by Jason’s side, to show that his allegiance to his brother would outweigh a lot of things.

(I’m so normal about dick and Jason being brothers can’t you tell 🥲 leave me here and be delusional)

The same applies to Damian also, which is why your mostly acquainted with both Jason and Damian in comparison to the rest of his family because they often come over by pure coincidence, or because dick dragged them by their ears with a smile on his face.

Insists that you cling onto his legs while he does pull ups and or sit on his back while he does push ups as he lets you count.

Complains to you when he looses the nightwing look alike contest, and to Jason no less, which no one that knows him personally allows him to live down.

They (Tim and Stephanie) even make memes out of it.

Has Hayley as his Lock Screen, you as his Home Screen. Both wearing cute matching pyjamas. So when he’s on his phone people think he’s smiling at his picture of Hayley -which is true- but he’s also smiling at the picture of you also.

His family pester him about you a lot, even Bruce asks when he’s going to meet you, claiming he’s not going to get any younger should Dick hold back on introducing you to him.

Even Alfred gets in on this as well but Dick always has an excuse locked and loaded when these questions are asked, but even he knows that Bruce knows that it’s all bullshit, however he doesn’t say anything outright incase Dick didn’t feel comfortable introducing you to them yet.

Wears only boxers to sleep or boxers and a light blue shirt, it depends on what he’s feeling really.

Loves living in the moment with you as you enjoy the others company without feeling the need to fill the air with chatter, you could just both exist and still love each other regardless because Dick didn’t feel the need to talk all the time, so moments like these were what he longed for most.

Ungracefully fell on his ass in fuzzy soaks once and hurt his tailbone in the process. It was funny until he asked to you put a bag of ice on the afflicted area.

Loved narrating what you and or Hayley do in a goofy voice that never fails to make you smile.

Doesn’t open up immediately but once he does it’s a sign of trust. He admits to his flaws in past relationships and how he wasn’t the most faithful and often saw commitment as a challenge. He understands if you see that as a sign to leave the relationship, he doesn’t expect anything from you, but if you did stay then he’s more then happy to not repeat those mistakes in your relationship.

Knows that people see Bruce when they look at him, he expects it because after being with him as long as he has it was only logical that he picked up some habits along the way whether he liked it or not.

Has a big heart but claims that Jason’s heart was twice as big because he’s so full of love and believed in love.

[dognonsense]

Insta Reel: starts as a tiktok of Goth guy giving the camera thumbs up, as an audio and text says "lets be financially responsible!" Then the goth guy does a wicked grin and scary piano plays with the text "SHEIN having 60% off sale on ten things in your cart" appearing. Then video is no longer a tiktok, loud electronic music plays and meme visual of a guy cheering over a football game appears, with the text "The cia after watering down every aspect of the alternative community (they used to be radicals against capitalist sociatal values and now all of their goats and either weirdos, sell outs or both)"

Top comments

@ emma.nuel: May be capitalism, but usa invented and control that shit so basically it was the cia

@ vespie: LMAO I SAW THE ORIGINAL AND DUDE WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE IN THE COMMENTS

@ ghoul: @ vespie he said he was goth for 7 years and didnt know that shein used child labour and fast fashion and that he didnt know the goth subculture was against that. Embarrassing poser

lmao my gf put this instagram reel on her story and its killing me

[libraryofgage]

Life in Miniature (One)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedediah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One (you're here!)

There will be more Jedtavius in the next parts I promise, I just thought this would be a funner introduction to the AU lmao

I just love those little guy dudes from the museum so much hfjdks and now we get two pairs of them

Also, fun fact, I took Steve's Roman name from, like, an actual king of Rome. The actual sixth king. He seemed like a chill dude.

Anyway, there's a meme at the end and as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

---------

When Robin took this job as a night guard, she didn't think the previous guard's words about history coming to life at night was, you know, real. She thought it was a joke, a predictable and corny joke, but a joke nonetheless.

But now, after being chased by a T-Rex, getting saved by Theodore Roosevelt, and almost being taken captive by fucking Attila the Hun, Robin thinks this job definitely isn't worth $16.50 an hour. Then again, this is the best paying job she's had in a while, and she was living a nocturnal life anyway.

Robin groans, leaning against a wall in the diorama exhibit, and slides down to the floor. She lets her head fall back against the wall, her eyes slipping shut as she slides. "This is crazy. This is insane. I need to find a fucking weapon or something," she mutters.

"Pardon me," comes a voice close to her head, "but might you be the goddess Diana?"

As pick-up lines go, it's not the worst one she's heard. And, based on what she knows of Greek and Roman deities, it wouldn't be too far off. Still, she does not want to be hit on by whatever weird historical thing is trying to flirt with her.

Robin takes a deep breath, opens her eyes, and says, "Do I look like a goddess to you?"

She looks to her left where the voice came from, blinking when her gaze falls on a figurine that would barely reach her ankle. He's dressed in a toga with a chest plate, wrist guards, a sword on his waist, and a deep purple cape over his shoulders. His hair is, honestly, the most impressive thing Robin has ever seen, made only more impressive by the golden laurels resting perfectly against his temples.

He's looking at her with wide eyes, more awed than anything else. "Yes," he says. "I have heard the gods are larger than life."

Okay. Fair.

"Why Diana, man?" Robin asks.

He tilts his head, studying her for a moment, looking her up and down. "You give me the same feeling as statues of Noble Diana with her Huntresses," he explains, pausing for a moment before adding, "A feeling of kinship, perhaps?"

Oh. This...this is like ancient Roman gaydar, right? Robin snorts and turns, resting her elbow on her knee. "I'm definitely not Diana. My name is Robin. I'm the new night guard."

His eyes brighten some, his smile growing wider and certainly charming enough to make the hearts of a few girls and guys flutter. "I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods, and adopted son of Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and Octavius, general of the Roman army."

Robin nods, letting all of the those words process in her head before saying, "Mind if I call you Steve? You look like a Steve."

The Sixth King of Rome blinks, looking slightly confused before his eyes light up with understanding. "Ah! A nickname! Yes, I am familiar with this concept. You may call me Steve, Lady Robin, as a show of our newfound friendship."

"Yeah, don't call me Lady Robin. Just Robin is fine," she says, hesitating before offering her hand to Steve.

"As you wish, Just Robin," he says, stepping carefully onto her hand and remaining steady as she raises him higher.

Robin blinks, frowning slightly and about to correct him again when she sees his smile and realizes it's a joke. "Okay, very funny, dingus," she says, carefully poking his side.

"Is dingus another nickname? It sounds like an insult."

"It usually is, but it's affectionate when I say it."

"Oh! Yes, like when Ockie calls Jed a philistine."

"Uh, sure," Robin says, nodding once as she lets Steve move to stand on her shoulder. He quickly sits, holding onto the collar of her jacket as she carefully stands up. "Hey, you know what I'm supposed to do about the dinosaur bones?"

"Rexy? Yes, he enjoys a game of fetch."

"Fetch. Of course."

----------

"What's going on in that head of yours, little man?"

Steve blinks, looks over at Jedediah, and raises an eyebrow at him. "I'm taller than you," he says, gesturing to the good inch he has on Jedediah.

"As long as you're my son, you're a little man."

Doing his best to not laugh, Steve nods once and points to the new diorama set up in the middle of the room. It's a circular diorama, centered on an equally circular stage divided into sections. A cacophony of noise echoes from it, clashing as each slice of the stage fights for dominance. "I'm trying to figure out what in Jupiter's name they're doing over there," he says.

"Well, most of it sounds like music," Jedediah says, "I think."

"It's not any music I've heard before," Octavius says, coming to a stop next to Jedediah and frowning at the diorama. "I would have assumed it the unholy shrieking of the damned."

"Perhaps it would be nicer if they weren't all playing at once," Steve suggests, hands on his hips as he tilts his head.

"Oh, boy, there it is," Jedediah says, his grin audible in his tone. "He's got the King Face."

"What are your intentions, my boy?" Octavius asks.

Before Steve can answer, Robin strolls into the room, grinning when she sees the raving diorama in the middle. She walks over to Steve, Jedediah, and Octavius, crouches down, and says, "Hey, guys. I see you're checking out the History of Rock display."

"History of Rock?" Steve asks.

"What in the sweet hell do rocks have to do with that mess?" Jedediah asks, gesturing to the noisy stage.

Robin rolls her eyes. "No, like, rock music. It's a genre. Anyway, it was sponsored by some musician, so it's a permanent display now."

"And they will be...playing every night?" Octavius asks.

"Probably."

Steve frowns a little more and nods, rolling his shoulders back. "If they are a permanent fixture in our hallowed hall, they must be welcomed. As Sixth King of Rome, this duty falls upon my shoulders. Fathers, I shall return shortly."

"Woah, woah, hold your horses there, little man," Jedediah says, moving to stand in front of Steve. "You're not going anywhere near that snake pit without some back up."

"A few centurions, at least," Octavius agrees.

"I will have Robin. What better protection is there?"

Jedediah and Octavius glance at each other before looking at Robin. She grins and offers them a two finger salute. "I'll guard him with my life," she says, "It's literally my job."

With that reassurance, Jedediah and Octavius move out of the way. Steve steps onto Robin's hand and settles on her shoulder with practiced ease, ignoring the nervous flutter in his stomach at greeting the new museum residents. He hopes they'll get along, but he also knows the might of his Roman army and the railroad workers can crush any who stand in their way.

Robin stops next to the diorama, tilting her head as she studies it. This close, Steve can see the bands playing on each slice of stage, the instruments and fashion shifting as his gaze travels around it. "Uh, excuse me," Robin says, raising her voice.

The raucous noise from the diorama screeches to a halt, the feedback making Robin and Steve grimace slightly. "Uh, hi. We're the official welcome crew for the Hall of Miniatures here. So, I'll need someone to represent your, like, whole display," Robin says, glancing over the bands until she finds one she recognizes. "Okay, I know you guys, so I'll be designating you the spokesband. Now, could the lead singer step forward?"

Steve watches as someone on the "Corroded Coffin" (what an odd name for a band) slice of the stage steps forward. Robin offers her hand to them, carefully lifting it away once they step on. "Great, uh, carry on, I guess. But, like, maybe play some of your quieter stuff for a bit," she says, her words barely out before the music starts up and the crowds start screaming once more.

She sighs and just walks over to the bench, letting off the person on her hand before letting Steve slide down her arm in a move they spent nearly three weeks practicing if only because they knew it would look cool.

When he hops onto the bench, Steve walks up to the other miniature, a man his age with long hair and odd clothes with tears that Robin once said were fashionable. His instrument is still slung over his shoulders, resting casually against his hips much like Steve's sword. Steve suddenly finds himself thinking that the man looks a little like a warrior. An odd one, to be sure, but a handsome one nonetheless.

He flashes his most charming smile, lets his shoulders relax, and says, "My friend here is Robin, Guardian of Brooklyn. I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods, and adopted son of Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and Octavius, general of the Roman army. You, however, may call me Steve."

-----

As far as Eddie was concerned, nothing mattered so long as Corroded Coffin got to keep rocking in an endless concert. The energy never waned, the set list never grew boring, and the music never stopped. He was ready to inform this welcoming crew of just that and promise Hell on Earth if they tried to disrupt the music (angry concert goers are a force of nature), when the words just died in his throat.

Because the most gorgeous man he's ever seen slides down that giant lady's arm, easily and smoothly landing on the bench. Somehow, his hair is perfectly windswept, the golden laurels glinting in the lights above them. His purple cape flutters softly as he walks closer, his toned thighs on full display with the toga hem that falls to the middle of them. There's a sword on the guy's hip, a chest plate that Eddie wants to pull off, a smile he wants to taste, and a pair of freckles right next to each other on the guy's cheek he wants to drag his tongue across.

He misses most of the introduction because he's too busy staring. He gets the important bits, though: Robin, a king, son of a god, adopted son of two dads. Eddie licks his lips nervously, a grin of his own tugging at his lips as he steps forward and playfully bows. "It's an honor to meet you, Your Majesty," he says.

It's supposed to come out joking, a little poke at the guy's authority to see if he can be riled up. It actually comes out way too genuine, and Eddie has a sudden realization that he meant it. He absolutely will accept this guy as his king, actually. He'll fall to his knees before him right now if asked, and not just because it might give him a little peek under the dude's toga.

"Please, just call me Steve. There's no need to be so formal."

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek, hoping Steve doesn't realize that the things Eddie is thinking about (the things he wants to do to and with Steve) are just about the least formal things on this earth. "Good to know," he says, relieved his voice sounds normal as he stands up straight and offers his hand. "Name's Eddie Munson, uh, lead singer of Corroded Coffin."

Steve blinks, and his smile becomes a bit more genuine as he steps closer and clasps Eddie's forearm. "A fellow leader," he says, squeezing Eddie's arm. "Welcome to our museum."

"Y-yeah," Eddie says, his arm still tingling when Steve lets go. He clears his throat, idly tugging on a few strands of hair. "So, uh, what's the deal around here? I mean, giant women...Roman kings...cowboys, it looks like."

"Our noble museum is home to Pharoah Ahkmenrah and his tablet, which brings the exhibits to life each night," Steve explains.

"There's a few rules, though," Robin says, sitting down on the bench behind Steve. "One, no getting into fights. Two, be back in your display by sunrise. Three, no leaving the museum at night."

"What? Why not?"

"We have lost good exhibits to Sol Invictus's morning rays," Steve says, frowning slightly. "So, be careful."

Eddie stares at Steve with wide eyes as he nods, amazed at the fact that Steve seems to talk like that so genuinely. And the fact that Eddie is...kinda into it. Holy shit, that's not helping with Eddie's whole "fall to his knees" thing. He wouldn't mind some good old-fashioned worship if Steve would just smile at him again.

Maybe his prayers are heard, because Steve smiles at him again. "Wonderful," he says. "Now, Eddie, could I interest you in a tour of the museum tonight?"

"Oh, you could interest me in a lot of things, sweetheart," Eddie blurts out, his mouth running faster than his brain.

He snaps his jaw shut, relieved and horrified at Steve's slightly confused expression and Robin's "I know what you are" thousand-yard stare from over his shoulder. Before he can try to backtrack, Steve snaps, understanding in his eyes. "Ah! Sweetheart is a nickname, yes? I accept your offer of friendship."

Eddie clenches his jaw, stopping himself from saying that it's more than friendships he's offering, and smiles. "Yeah. A nickname. That's all. I'm just...a nickname kinda guy. I'll probably think of more, too, Stevie. Like that."

Steve practically beams, and Eddie feels his knees go weak. "I look forward to it," he says, turning on his heel to look at Robin, who thankfully schools her expression. "Robin, this is where we leave you for the night. You have my word that Eddie will be back in place before sunrise."

"Well, you two kids have fun," she says, grinning in a way that immediately puts Eddie on edge. "I'd better not hear about any funny business, though. Absolutely no bases should be reached tonight, and you'd better not do any conquering or pillaging."

She definitely looks at Eddie when she says that last bit. Eddie stiffens, doing his best to hold back a blush when Steve glances over at his, the confusion clear on his face. "Conquering requires more planning than this, Robin. I've told you before."

"Don't worry about it, dingus. Just have fun. Here, I'll even call a ride for you," she says, winking at them before turning, holding her fingers to her mouth, and whistling sharply.

Steve walks over to Eddie right as the ground starts to shake, easily catching him around the waist before he can lose his balance. "The shaking does take some getting used to," he says, his tone full of sympathy and obliviousness to the crisis Eddie is experiencing.

When his brain finally catches up enough to ask what he's talking about, a dinosaur skeleton slides into the room, its body wiggling excitedly as it growls. Eddie jerks back, the arm around his waist tightening some. "What the fuck?!" he shouts.

"Worry not," Steve says, leaning closer. His voice is a little softer now, his breath fanning over Eddie's ear. "This is Rexy, our steed for the evening. He's very friendly."

"Friendly," Eddie mumbles, letting himself be dragged over to Rexy and placed on the dinosaur's head by Robin. "The dinosaur is friendly."

"Many of the exhibits are," Steve tells him, grinning brightly as Rexy begins moving after a pet on the snout from Robin.

Eddie looks at him, feeling blinded by Steve's smile once more, and completely forgets about the living dinosaur skeleton.

--------

Lemme know if you'd like to be added to the tag list!

(Also I know there are like one or two upcoming parent AUs that people have asked to be tagged in and I tried to see if this was one of them but couldn't find anyone for the life of me hfjdks so I'm sorry if you asked on another post and I missed you orz)

And, finally, a meme for you