#these lullaby shorts were soo cute i had to!!!!

[mickeysclubhouse]

♡ MICKEY AND MINNIE WEEK ♡

day one → umbrella

[nexyra]

James Ironwood, for character ask? 👀

Aaaa thank you so much for the ask ♡ More rambling incoming !! Sorry for the wait btw, I've been both pretty busy and tired ;;

If you hate James Ironwood and don't wanna hear one good thing about him tap out now please ღ

My fav ship(s) for the character

I am not a super big shipper when it comes to James, but there are still some I like more than others soo here goes :

I think Ironwitch is a pretty good one. It's not necessarily a ship I'd search content for but I think these two would work well together ! Glynda is stern and honest and a no-nonsense kind of woman. She has the strenght to stand up to James when he slips or gets too stubborn when faced with the high stakes. At the same time, we've been shown that she cares for him and she knows he's only trying to do what's best for people. She has faith in him but also the ability to stand at his side as an equal. She seems to be the more steadfast of Ozpin's circle : loyal, you know you can trust her, and she will not crumble. This is the kind of personnality that I think James both admire and feel safe with. And the other way around, I think James is a good match for Glynda too. On a day to day basis, he's serious enough to not annoy here, but he's also a softie in some aspects and that's a nice combination to smooth out Glynda's edges.

Ironqrow is a completely different dynamic. The "we're annoying each other" dynamic is not one I'm particularly interested in usually xD But these two certainly had strong & interesting moments so it's a pretty valid ship !! Despite how they might butt heads because of the difference in their upbringing they (prior to V8) clearly trusted each other with their life. Even if Qrow jokes about shooting himself if he had to be one of James' man, when everything goes to shit there is no doubt in his mind that James wasn't responsible. Similarly, while James talks of shooting Qrow for his misbehaviour, when push comes to shove and we meet a tired Ironwood, run ragged by the pressure he's under... the only thing he does is hug him and reiterates how glad he is to see him. So again, they clearly have a lot of faith and trust in the other, and that's solid ground for a relationship.

My least favorite ship(s) for the character

Same spiel as always, shipping kids and adults is a big no from me; so any ships between Ironwood and RWBYJNOR can qualify here. That said, among the less uncomfortable ones, here are those I don't really like

This one is again because I love their relationship but platonically only, I'm talking of Winter Soldier. The reading I like best is not that Ironwood is Winter's Jacques 2.0, nor that he groomed her; but that he was an important father figure in her life. Protective and caring, who tried to help her escape with what he knew. I don't see James recruiting Winter as a way to gain a strong ally. But rather that Winter wanted to detach herself from her family name, and make something worthwhile of herself all on her own. And that the military is what Ironwood knows and understand, so naturally it's a career he'd see as a good path. Just like Winter then proposed it to Weiss. I like to think they care about each other a LOT and they're their own tight family in between the lines, even if professionalism might throw a wrench into it. For short I love them together but not romantically please =)

I don't know if there's a ship name for this, but Salem x James Ironwood would be a big nope from me too... In general, let's just assume I ship Salem with nobody because abuse.

My fav & least fav platonic relationship(s) for the character

Fav platonic relationship would be (have been because we dont talk about V8?) with Winter. Fooor the reasons I've explained above I suppose x) I (again) love the trust they had in one another and the quiet support.

There was also his relationship with Oscar that I really liked during V7, although it has been soured a bit by the (valid) reading from some people that Ironwood sought out Ozpin a lot through Oscar, and given his identity issues it is not ground for a greatly healthy relationship. Their interactions were still very intersting though ♡ I consider Oscar to be the kid who went at trying to appease James' fear or make him reconsider his decisions the best way. There was true understanding and hope for a working relationship here. I do feel that Oscar put in more work than James however (emotionally) and I wish there had been pay-back instead of a gunshot.

For my least fav relationship ? Probably Robyn or Watts ? Robyn was always very antagonistic toward Ironwood since their priorities are so different. And I overall just don't really like her after V7 so there are very few relationships with her I'm interested in (the exception is her ship with Fiona I think it's cute). Meanwhile, Watts is just a petty asshole hell bent on ruining Ironwood because he didn't pick his project. I'm not very interested in hate relationships, and since theirs wasn't deeply explored anyway, it's even more the case here. Their fight was great though, one of my favorite RWBY fights !

My favorite thing about the character

Well this was completely proven wrong by V8 buuut as of V7 I liked that he was a deconstruction of the military general (dictator) trope. Sooo you can guess how i feel about V8 X) In general among RWBY, several of my fav are fav BECAUSE they look like one trope but also have key differences that from the get go make the character stray away from said trope. For example I'm not a fan of the princess tsundere archetype at all, but I loooved Weiss in V1 BECAUSE she was extra-willing to listen and change her mind, and you could very easily tell that it was her upbringing speaking more than herself in most occasions.

Similarly, I wasn't a big fan of Ironwood before V7. I didn't hate him you know and he wasn't lower than most characters in my Tier list but I also didn't particularly care. But you know what ? I've aaaalways had a really soft spot for the "angsty angry traumatized teen". And RWBY made the mistake of extending that soft spot to "tired adults trying their best" (only to repeatedly beat them up/make them villains after making me care about them but what can you do uh)

Soo in general, I loved that Ironwood was trying so hard. I loved that he was tired and in over his head but learning and listening and trying to do good and be better despite his fears. I liked that he told his entourage about Salem and was loyal. I liked that he cared about helping the people above his own image and the way people perceived him. I liked that you could tell this was a terrible situation all around, and his decisions WERE questionnable but we could SEE that he meant WELL and was genuinely trying so hard despite how scared and tired he was.

My biggest criticism for the character

Well this won't be a surprise but in general I just wished he had stayed a morally grey character we were allowed to feel for instead of a cartoon black villain. I didn't need James to be THE Hero or anything like this despite some accusations levelled at those who like him. Him becoming one of RWBY's antagonist is honestly fine by me ! It is interesting. But I'd have preferred they kept him ambiguous and trying in his own way. (And smart because V8 Ironwood was dumb af)

I can be a tad overprotective of his character since he's just... so despised, so I think that I have inadvertently distanced myself from any of his flaws... somehow like "people are already yelling all of them so I don't need to add to this shit show" you know ? skjfkd But I KNOW he has them and it would still have been good to develop his flaws, just... not like that

But yea I'd have liked it if V8 Ironwood DID diverge from RWBYJNORQ and became an antagonist but not an iredeemable villain. LIKE,, we redeemed Hazel and Emerald and IRONWOOD is where the writers draw the line by saying "nope this one is rotten" ?? What ?

When was their writing at the peak according to me (ex : best season)

V7 definitely ! Ironwood carried V7 so hard haha. His character was fleshed out and given nuance and made to struggle and evolve and I loved him in that volume.

A song I think fits them & why

Hunger • Monsters & Men Human • Rag'n'Bone Man Way down we go • Kaleo Beekeeper • Keaton Henson Thistle and weeds • Mumford and Sons Castle of Glass • Linkin Park It's all so incredibly loud • Glass Animals

A headcanon to make up about them

His metal parts impact his metabolism so Ironwood is terrible at holding his alcohool and very little manages to knock him out. He's a workaholic. His low tolerence for alcohool is a great tool whn friends need to put him to sleep.

His joints crack and hurt in the cold, his metal parts as well and they are an hassle in the sand. James like to keep his room temperature warmer than the average atlasian because of this, otherwise he has to spend 30 min every morning simply unwiding muscles to move around efficiently.

He's not a good singer but has a nice low voice for telling stories. If he had kids, he'd probably avoid lullabies but compensate with bedtimes stories.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

As always, I'm kind of reflecting along the way as I write this, and one thing I'm thinking right now is... Doesn't it take away from the atlas arc message ITSELF to just pile up so many "standard bad guy" stuff on Ironwood ? Like, I wanna ask... why do we hate him ? Is he an antagonist because he lets fear get the best of him ? Because he's a classist who doesn't care about Mantle like some fans argue ? Because he's too stubborn and wants to be THE hero ? Because he doesn't listen to others ? Because he abandonned Mantle ? Because he kills peopke left and right ? Because he wanted to bomb a city ? I think you might see where I'm going with this : his status as villain is kind of messy. V8 just kept piling-up flaws and villainous actions onto Ironwood with no concern for whether this was a lenght he would go to (using the certainty that he would go to any lenghts to enact his plans), ,or whether these were one of the initial flaws/failings that led to his "fall" as an antagonist. What lesson is Ironwood supposed to learn ? Personally the very first time I yelled at my screen "No ! Why would the writers choose that ?" is when Ironwood shot Oscar. When answering criticism against medias, many people tend to look at it only through the lense of "well it makes sense in universe" or as if there were no other ways for the story to devolve. But at the end of the way, everything in a story is a choice from the writer even if it is influenced by the characters' personnalities. If I took the scene where Ironwood shoots Oscar, someone might tell me "he's crippled by his PTSD, he COULD do this." Maybe, that's a reading I can somewhat understand at least. But the writers have the power to NOT put his character in such a position. When I saw the wreck that was V7 finale, I ranted to my bestfriend about it and at no point did i say "why did Ironwood do that", I said "why did the writers make him shoot Oscar, the only point narratively would be to make irredeemable" Aaaand that's what they went for and I obviously didn't care for it. So if I had to rewrite it; I would have kept Ironwood's "mistakes" more focused. If he's wrong because he wants to abandon Mantle, because he's (understandably) scared and doesn't want to take risks; then stay focused on that. It's what makes RWBY leave, and out of all his V8 actions that's really the only thing RWBY needed to tell the whole world he wasn't an ally anymore apparently. - Don't make him shoot Oscar point blank, instead Oscar can simply fall because he flinches away from Ironwood's outburst; and a distraught/guilty Ironwood can decide that he doesn't have the time or capacity to help because of the tense situation. (Killing and not saving someone don't hold the same moral weight at all). - Don't make him kill people left and right or bomb cities, maintain the flaw of Ironwood struggling with his PTSD and his fear and not being able to take risks. - Don't paint him as a black villain, and eventually write V8 in such a way that RWBYJNORQ show taking risks might lead to a bigger victory, which was the volume's theme anyway. For example, following Oscar's destruction of the whale, a growth can occur that would bring back together the two anti-Salem factions : Oscar's risk put Atlas out of harm's way, which leads to Ironwood seeing that maybe there WAS a way to save Mantle as well as Atlas despite Salem's presence and he might have jumped the gun too quickly because of his fears. I'm not sure, I haven't thought about this extensively honestly but I hope you see what I mean. I think it would have been more focused & more in-character to focus Ironwood's failings on his fear; and the fact that he cares for the people and the greater good sometimes at the cost of the individuals. The idea that by sacrificing individuals too much you forget the people you're fighting for in the first place, could have been interesting to dig deeper into. Keep to the idea that Ironwood is somewhat disensitized to the individuals suffering for the sake of the greater good, instead of making him just

callous & uncaring.

My guess for their MBTI/Enneagram

I think pre-V8 Ironwood was an unconventionnal ENFJ. Aka, the type of character no one would type ENFJ because they go by stereotypes and Fe stereotypes are just enneagram 2 everywhere (aka nice, kind, helpful) whereas Ironwood has an enneagram tritype very common among xxTJs so that's what he looks/behaves like, but the way he thinks (what's best for the people, ethical values derived from an Atlasian upbringing) align more with Fe cognitively I think I'm going with ENFJ 6w5 1w2 3w4

Starting from V8 though, Ironwood veered clearly into ENTJ territory (types aren't supposed to change but I wouldn't say RWBY is the most consistent media when it comes to characters' personnalities)

One aspect that I think would be nice to delve deeper into ?

I understand why they didn't care to, but it'd have been interesting to get a few backstory hints for Ironwood. How did he lose half his body ? How did Oz recruit him ? Or some pieces about his upbringing ?

[1989xtaylorsversion]

wonder isn't the best, but it's not the worst (my album review)

hello mendes army and camilanators (is that what her fans are called? i have no clue...) du(spoiler alert, it's SM3, although i wish he gave it a different title. i hate when artists name their albums after themselves-unless it's taylor swift.)ft.)

this might be an unpopular opinion, but i don't hate wonder. it's not my favorite album of his (spoiler alert, it's SM3, although i wish he gave it a different title. i hate when artists name their albums after themselves - unless it's taylor swift.) i actually enjoy most of the songs, and i think it garnered a bit too much criticism. (i'll get to that at the end). anyway, i'll just get to the point.

1. intro

this is a cute way to start the album. i don't really have much to say, it's literally just an intro. it works as a nice transition into the next song.

2. wonder

ahh wonder, the first lead single. i actually love this song. it's one of my favorite shawn mendes songs. i think it sounds magical, especially at the end. it's so dreamy and beautiful. the music video is nice too, but his dancing is... interesting :)

3. higher

this song is soo catchy. it's a bop and the beat is so interesting.

4. 24 hours

i've loved this song from the moment i heard it. it has a bit of a slow start, but the ending is my favorite part. it's just really sweet and dreamy.

5. teach me how to love

are you kidding me?? how did he make "monster" a single but not this?? we were robbed. this song is my favorite on the album, and one of my all time favorite shawn mendes songs. it is so incredibly catchy and it's impossible not to bop to it. the bridge and the outro... i ascend. although, shawn, you couldn't have just said the f-word? whatever, i'll forgive because it's just so good.

6. call my friends

i like this song. the chorus is the most memorable part of it though. it's sweet, so good job shawn.

7. dream

oh my, i love this song too. he did a great job with it because it sounds dreamy. the verses are amazing and the chorus is so soothing and beautiful. it's like shawn's singing me a lullaby lol. i find myself going back to this song a lot.

8. song for no one

and here we have it, one of my least favorite songs on the album. the second i heard it i knew something didn't sit right with me and that feeling never really went away. i've never been able to sit through this song all the way through. it's just so boring and as harsh as it may sound, a little pointless. like how are we gonna go from dream to this? i wish he had just left this on the cutting room floor. the ending is kind of interesting, but it's not enough to save the rest of the song.

9. monster ft. justin bieber

i mean i like it, i guess. i like their verses and they both sound good. i'm trying to remember the music video but i think i like it. the video is a bit boring from what i remember, but oh well. the song is catchy and if i'm in the right mood i might bop to it. but, even with the combined power of 2 canadian pop stars, it's not enough to rank high on my list.

10. 305

this song is so fun! you can't not bop to it. it literally makes me feel like i'm on a rollercoaster ride or i'm at a carnival... if that makes sense. it's short but sweet

11. always been you

i really don't have any gripes with this song, i actually really like it. it's nothing too special, but i like the dramatic chorus and i like the sentiment behind it. although, if it's for camila, i don't buy it... sorry :)

12. piece of you

i really don't listen to this song too much. the beat is catchy but it's just not my favorite.

13. look up at the stars

i really like this song! it's so sweet and the lyrics are adorable. i think he said that it's a song for the fans but the lyric video contradicts that?... if it for the fans, that's really cute. i've noticed that a lot of the songs on this album kinda switch up on you when you least expect it, this one included. it's a good song, shawn!

14. can't imagine

i can't imagine why he included this song on the album. i also find this song incredibly boring and pointless. it sounds like he didn't finish writing it, which is fine if that was his vision. it just does nothing to enhance the album in any way and it's really lackluster. i usually look forward to the closing track because i'm always interested to hear how an artist ends their album, but this left me disappointed. if he had excluded this (and "song for no one") i literally wouldn't have noticed.

overall thoughts:

like i said, i think this album isn't as bad as people make it out to be. there are good parts to most songs. i think what ruined the album and subsequently, this era was shawmila. his stans didn't like them together and i imagine that the last person they wanted to think about while listening to these songs was her. even though i think it's a tad over hated, i get some of the hate. this whole era felt so messy and kind of unreal. also, every interview seemed to be the camila show. it seemed like all he talked about was her instead of the actual music. watching them shove their relationship (?) down our throats was insufferable. i think the promotion of the album coupled with the barrage of vitriol he was receiving from even his hardcore stans really messed with the longevity and success of this album. his team probably thought all the shawmila pr was going to do wonders for him, but sadly the opposite was true. i don't know how it actually charted, but i don't think it was his most successful release. anyway, SM3 remains superior but wonder's cute too. i am ready for his next era though.

my rating: 6.5/10

the weakest songs: intro, song for no one, piece of you, can't imagine

the strongest songs: wonder, teach me how to love, dream

[thesunshinebunny]

Congratulations on the 200 followers, you deserve it!!! I would like to ask Layla the following: how did the Riddle, Leona, Kalim and Azul react to your gender? Did you tell them openly or was it accidental?

Thank Youuuuuuuuu soooo much dear anon!!!! I freaking love you all, I'll never tire of saying it. Now...Layla will answer your question ;)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well...each one was a different experience, each revelation wasn’t the same as the last one...ehhhh, ok, sooooo this was what happened:

Riddle Rosehearts

After his overblot, I was the one who took him to the infirmary to rest and get some sleep. I stayed by his side all night while I sang a little lullaby that my mama used to sing to me, as my father told me, when I was still a baby.

The next day Dire Crowley went to see Riddle and recommended me to get some rest.

“Ahhh, Rosehearts-kun, how are you feeling? Can you remember yesterday’s events?”

Riddle shifted heavily on the infirmary bed at the noisy interruption of Crowley. “Vaguely, but yeah...where is Layla?”

“Ohhh, I recommended her to get some rest. She looked very tired after so much fighting, poor thing, even without magic... *sob* *sob*”

...

“...She?”

“Yes indeed, Layla is a girl...you didn’t know?”

Let's say, after that day, Riddle had a hard time looking me in the eyes without blushing. Cute

Leona Kingscholar

Ok, sooo this: I spent many days training in Savanaclaw at the insistence of Crowley. Well, it wasn't directly what he asked, instead, he ask me to go and take a few pictures of Savanaclaw’s dorm (I don't know why, I'm not a photographer, but since he gave me the ghost camera, that's been my part-time job, I guess) and within minutes, Leona had me by the ankles to join the training.

And that training lasted several weeks. I could feel how I was getting stronger, but apparently not at the rate Leona wanted. He even made me practice Magift.

"It’s problematic to see how it’s still difficult for you to trow with calculation"

"Well I'm trying, I've never played it before, I'm not a natural player like you" I threw a new disk to the rim, but this one got halfway.

"Tch, you're terrible at throwing, what are you, a girl?"

Uhhh, that boiled my blood.

"YES, I AM A GIRL"

Unconsciously I had lowered the training hood and tightened the shirt below, revealing my outlined bust. Leona's eyes were wide open, unable to take his gaze off my chest. "Is being a girl an insult to you?"

I think that threw him off his feet and made him want to trow himself at the sun. Poor Leona and lucky at the same time. Ruggie told me that in Afterglow Savanah they respect women a lot, otherwise you end up dead or worse...I have a slight suspicion that I will never hear Leona disrespect me again.

Azul Ashengrotto

Remember the time Azul wanted to take over the Ramshackle dorm? Let's say I gave that octopus a hard time.

"So it's a deal, Prefect?"

My eyes were glued to the contract, unable to reason calmly. On one hand I had Jack telling me not to do it, that I was going to lose at the very beginning, and on the other, I had my poor Grim, begging me with his little eyes to save him from this calvary. Being the leader of our dorm, I had to take care of him, but I didn't want to play Azul's dirty game either.

"Azul...can I have a moment with you, alone?"

Jade and Floyd came out with smirks on their faces, but Jack and Grim were the hardest to leave me, perhaps uneasily.

"Soo ... what do you have to discuss with me so privately?" I could see in his eyes he expected to play around with me, but it was me who would end up playing with him.

"I want you to reconsider the deal, I'm not going to sign the one you just proposed to me"

"So I don't see why you're still here, I'm have not time to waste, I'm a very busy man, I have more clients to deal with..."

"Then I'm going to propose another deal" That was what made his eyes shine with interest. I had his attention.

"Oya? And what could that be?"

"I can give you my body, but not the dorm" His interest fell to the floor, and he gave me a disgusted gesture. Damn octopus.

"Sorry, but I don't swing that side. I'm not attracted to boys"

"I am a girl"

Ah well, I got his interest back, but I think I got the wrong reaction. At the end I ended up signing the first contract, but I won the image of a Azul blushing from head to toe, and before the door to the VIP room closed, I also won the image of a half transformed Azul.

Kalim Al Asim

With Kalim, the situation was much more fun, or so I think. It was a very hot day in NRC and my dorm didn’t have an air conditioning or gardens with a lot of shade and cold draft, so I was suffering...a lot.

I walked into the school with the intention of getting a gallon of water out of the kitchen to keep Grim and I cool when I met the Sun itself at a corridor. 

He looked with great joy, as if the heat of the day did nothing to him, unlike me who was melting. And apparently he realized that, because he grabbed my hand and led me directly to his dorm... which is in the middle of a desert and the sun beats much harder. 

That day I thought I was going to die from a heat wave. RIP Layla.

BUT, to my surprise I came across a huge fountain, full of water and people swimming and playing in it. I had found an oasis in the middle of the desert.

“Scarabia may be one of the hottest dorms at school, but it has a lot of fountains and a huge oasis a few miles away. You will never melt here”

My savior.

"Take advantage and take a good dip"

That happiness was short-lived. Not that I had a problem getting into the water, but I didn't have a swimsuit at hand and even if I did, I would be surrounded by a bunch of guys...what a shame. Seeing my indecision, Kalim picked me up like a bride and shot toward the fountain.

"Wait, Kalim, hang on a bit"

There was no time to react, in a matter of milliseconds I was already inside the fountain. I heard how Kalim laughed under the water and how the screams kept coming from the others. 

I came to the surfaced for air, although the cold water had alleviated the unbearable heat, I knew what was about to happen. It was seeing Kalim's decomposing face and noticing how the screams began to stop that my underwear was showing under the uniform shirt.

Sooo, I had to ease the situation. I playfully splashed Kalim once, twice, three, four times, until the water entered his mouth, making him pay attention to the splashes and keep playing. I wanted to see that huge smile again.

When the others saw Kalim's smile return and see how he splashed and dive into the water, their smiles and screams came back.

Yeahhh, it wasn't that bad.

[shes-fast-like-me]

is there any lifetane fics at all that you know of?

aaaaaaaa good thing you asked because i do!!!

You Can Run (Right Back To Her) by @ian-the-existential-crisis!!! i love this lil ficlet i love the differences between their lives in this and just aaaaa it’s soo good!!!! i love pining octane i relate

one more reason to give ‘em hell by apieformydean, this fic is soooooooo fucking good!!! it’s so lovely and i absolutely Adore their characterisations in this, op really nailed Ajay imo, and i’m head over heels for the subtle flirting omfg

Regular or Long? by @ohthatsviolet holy shit this is comedy gold. Major “babe i’m in the pads aisle what size pussy you wear xx” vibes from this. i had a blast and the teddy bear scene is one of the most adorable things i’ve ever read

It’s so good to be by your side by @hybristophilica this is so short and tiny but so good i’m!!! major heart eyes at this ficlet mwah ily

Something Sweet (Like Sugar) by @xbeaxbeax, holy shit this fic took all of my emotions and absolutely murdered me. it took my very soul and wrung it dry holy fucking shit this hurt me so badly. I genuinely cried reading this it is just. so fucking good i am left speechless this is literally poetic cinema it’s literally poetry it was a pleasure to read no matter how much pain it caused me

just for the fuck of it by @ajays-lullaby!!! this is super cute and super fun and i rlly love it it’s just good wholesome fun content and i stan angie so hard so go read more of their stuff

Slow Morning by @ravagingvaliance, this is such a short and sweet cute lil fic i love it so much. it’s just wholesome as hell and i stan everything about it mwah chef kiss

heaven ‘n’ back idk who wrote this sorry but it’s alright i guess :/ jk i’m rlly proud of it and i actually read this for fun which i don’t usually do with my own fics so you know i did something right

Phantom Pains by jhopeinfiresme, holy shit i remember reading this and it absolutely destroying me i have so much love for this fic it’s unreal. this is just so well written and i loved every single second of it, words cannot describe just how much i adore this fic so much i asked the author to marry me in the comments and they haven’t said no so i’m just assuming the feeling is mutual akjansksjak

first time guilt. by Ishiyan, this!!!! i love this so hard i Live for all lowercase fanfiction, i think this might’ve been the fic that gave me the idea to start writing that way for certain apex fics myself?? anyway i stan this so so hard it’s like poetry

A Favour by @mirage-babey first of all, please check out her miraith fics too because oh my god i adore everything this woman creates. secondly i Adore the way this is written idk what it is it just flows so nicely and is so pleasant to read

aaaaand that’s just a couple off archive of our own! i’m sure i’ve missed some that were posted onto tumblr instead so if i stumble across those again i might just add onto this who knows! anyway thank you for asking and letting me spread my love for these amazing works of art. please go read them, follow these authors and comment something nice!!!

[kitaychan]

Equilibrium.

Human AU

Summary: Leon reminiscences about his life, his family, and how he managed to be at peace with it.

When I was a child my father used to tell me about the day he met my mother.

He said he was 23 years old, during one of his numerous travels, he is part of a well-known company that runs along the seven seas, bringing goods to every corner of the world.

He had met her due to a trip to Hong Kong, she was the daughter of a business contact in there, the man (my grandfather) had taken him and others to celebrate a dinner at his home in Beijing, father said he was flabbergasted by how beautiful she was.

He recalled making a fool of himself, trying to impress her. My mom would later say that he was so clumsy and nervous that night that she found him quite cute.

After that, my father tried to meet her, he was nagging at Mr. Wang with made up excuses just to talk with his daughter. Father said that mom was cold and harsh the first time they spoke. On the other hand my Mother expressed that he was corny and sweet, but she was afraid of infuriating her father. After all, she depended on her family, she was only 18.

The months passed and father became a constant visitor in the Wang's household. He would schedule more trips to China than necessary, only to keep in touch with mother. She later told me that he was convincing her of escaping with him.

My father, whose business was settled in England, planned to take mother with him without Mr. Wang's approval. The reason? My grandfather wasn't very keen of him, he didn't dislike father but he refused to give his blessing, saying she was too young for marriage.

The route was from Beijing to Hong Kong and then they would take a ship to England.

They managed to arrive in Hong Kong but the plan was ruined when Mr. Wang put a reward for his lost daughter. No ship would take them out of Hong Kong without turning them in.

They spent two years more in Hong Kong, in which I was conceived, father was neither getting his payments nor help from his brother's back in England.

When I was born, they lived in a small house in Hong Kong, it was possible thanks to my mother's decision of contacting her cousins, who seeing her pregnant, took pity and helped her. When talking about this, father was always bitter, he said the cousins were prideful and would always rub their money on his face, he was especially spiteful of the Korean one, saying he was always encouraging mother to abandon him.

Father never talked to me about the following three years of my birth, he only said that those years made him realize the kind of woman my mother was, and that those years were horrendous enough for him to take the hardest choice of his life.

He saved enough money to pay the ship to take him to England, prepared the luggage and one night decided to leave, he took me with him while mother was asleep.

In the ship he got the help of a woman called Marianne, father said he promised to pay her when they arrived in England, she would sing lullabies for me at night as well as read some stories I don't remember.

I don't remember much about that, I only recall vividly my life in England, surrounded by my uncles and cousins, I remember my father's wedding with Marianne and after that, the arrival of the twins.

I do remember dreaming about my mother, she was becoming a blurry image for me, it didn't help that my father refused to talk about her anymore. He would say that she had abandoned me, that if she really loved me she would have come with us, that she had started a new life and a new family, he said that as I was no longer important to mother, I didn't have to bother to think about her.

I remember feeling jealous at the twins, for they received more attention than I did. I remember my father teaching them how to read, while he just paid a tutor for me. I remember him playing with them in the front yard, while I had to play with the nanny when I was their age,  as he was always working away.

I also remember the times he got drunk, they were a few but they still hold a great impact in me.

The first time he arrived at midnight, barely able to walk, he barged into my room and cried, he told me he was sad, that he missed my mother and she wouldn't get back ever again. That was before he married Marianne.

The second time, I had to retrieve him in the pub, while I was carrying him through the stairs,  he told me he was proud of the young man I was becoming, he said he was glad I wasn't like him and before I could question him further he passed out.

The third time was inside the house, he had received mail and was cursing and tossing things in his office, Alfred asked me to check on him, arguing that father was less likely to get mad at me.

When I opened the door, father glared at me and told me that my mother was a cruel woman, that she had married a foreign soldier, a communist he said, he told me that she didn't care about me, that she had forgotten my existence and that I should be glad he had taken me with him. I only nodded, embracing him softly, perhaps that way he would calm down, he fell silent and burst into tears, he told me he was a liar and shoved a handful of opened letters into my hands.

After that incident, father became more cautious not only with the alcohol but around me. He started to give me presents: books, clothes, souvenirs from travels. He would often try to engage in conversation with me.

I didn't want to talk with him. Not after reading those letters, they were from my mother, the oldest were long and full of anguish, asking him why he had left, how could he took me away from her, she was pleading: for him to return, to take me back to her, she said she didn't care if he didn't love her anymore, if he was with another woman, she was telling him to come back, she offered to let him bring the other woman along, she only wanted to take care of her son, her baby.

The following letters were asking for me, some were threatening him, others were sad, she was desperate to know how I was doing, she would even update her address, asking father to let me write to her. She had returned to his father, begged for his help and he had received her again in the family, she was studying to be a nurse.

There were letters saying that she was in England, looking for me, that she had come all the way from China, that she had found the house but every time, the servants would not allow her to see me. She begged father to let her see me, to give her an answer, to tell her that I was still alive.

The last one had arrived that day, she was telling that she had married, that she was moving to Russia, as his husband was from there, she was saying that she'll keep on writing from there, and she even wrote down the new address she would be having.

Those letters were the proof that father had lied for 16 years, that my mother was out there looking for me, that she was suffering, that even though she had moved on from losing father, she had never stopped loving me.

After reading those letters I grew distant of my father, I told him that I would apply to a university in Moscow, he knew why I was doing it, and he tried to dissuade me, saying that it wasn't safe in there, that it would be hard for him to send me money, that I didn't knew the language. He was right.

I decided to do my studies in England, I started sending letters to my mother, she was happy to have news from me, she would send me a letter per month, asking for my subjects, for my life in England. In return, I would ask her about Russia, about her husband, about her life in China.

It was hard at the beginning, to write to her, someone I didn't remember the looks of, someone whose voice I had forgotten. We exchanged some photographs, she was excited, told me how handsome I was. I discovered that we had an astonishing resemblance, of course she had her feminine features but the resemblance was undeniable, I only shared my father's eyebrows, while I had the hair, the eyes like hers. I won't deny that I felt warm, all my life, I had felt different and seeing that there was someone who shared my features, whom was excited to read my happenings was heartwarming.

I tried not to be so harsh with my father, he had raised me after all, and he had tried to be a good father, so I still visited him on my summer breaks in England, I got a job at the university, translating some articles. I had decided to learn Chinese and Russian in order to communicate with my mother when I'd finally visit her.

During the time, it proved to be profitable, the intellectuals were interested in the new ways these countries had revised the Marxist theory, I wasn't enthusiastic of these ideologies but the college students were curious and would pay really well for a critical article.

After a year of saving my payments and some of the money father sent me, I was allowed to go on a short trip to China. It was easier to explain a family visit, not only for me but for my mother, we agreed to meet at my grandparents’ house.

Once there, my thoughts plagued me with fear and uneasiness, what if I wasn't welcomed, I was my father's son after all, wouldn't I be a nuisance? I was more of an outlaw in the Kirkland family, wouldn't I be the same in the Wang’s household? Would I be welcomed there? What about my mother’s husband? Wouldn’t he despise me? Mother would surely have another baby by now, perhaps she didn't told me that.

My fears were cleared up when the door was opened, I was embraced tightly by a man called Im Yong Soo, he said he was my cousin or something like that, he led me to the living room and the people there stared at me. I recognized mother, she looked exactly like in the pictures, I also figured out who her husband was, being the only blond in the room.

Mother stood up and hugged me tightly, she was so excited, she started crying, I wasn't sure of how to act, so, I just hugged her back.

When she calmed down, I was presented to the rest of them.

Mr. Wang was calm but he also embraced me, saying he was glad he got to meet his grandson.

A Japanese man shook my hand, he was the most reserved but his face betrayed his demeanor, when his eyes watered at the sight of me.

A young woman called Mei Xiao hugged me tightly and said she was happy to have someone around her age in the house.

I'm Yong Soo greeted me warmly, recalling the last time he saw me, I had to embarrassedly tell him, that I did not remember him. He laughed it off and said I had grown a lot.

When it was my mother's husband turn, I felt suddenly intimidated, the man was tall, taller than all of us, I wasn't sure of how to approach him. He smiled softly at me and shook my hand. "So you are the little one who makes her smile with letters" he said in a heavily accented English.

I nodded. "You must be Ivan." I tried to reply in Russian.

He smiled and surprisingly hugged me.

After that, I realized that my fears were irrational, that they were kind and loving people, that "the communist" my father had cursed about was actually a doctor, that the greedy and prideful cousins were funny and warm, that the resentful old man, was just a preoccupied father, and I also learned that they had a totally opposite picture of my father, as a treacherous, sneaky scoundrel who had dragged mother out (although mother said to me that she went with him willingly) and abandoned her, finding another woman and running away with her.

Mother would later told me, quite sadly, that the three years after my birth, the situation between them deteriorated so much, that there were days in which they would only argue. Father was frustrated about money but would also disappear for days, only to return without a penny. Mother tried to get some money by selling her belongings but it would only infuriate him more, and when he returned from his escapades, she felt so mad that she would try to make him feel miserable on purpose.

All this new information was astonishing for me, mother tries not to touch that subject so much, to this day she still avoids the topic, she says that they both are to blame for that, and that she doesn't want to strain my relationship with father.

After all this years, I still keep contact with both, I've settled in Hong Kong, sometimes the twins visit me, sometimes Mei Xiao comes here too. What is certain is that my life depends on the equilibrium of the families I am part of.

I've learned to forgive my father, slowly, we had tried to build a better relationship, he has told me little fragments of his version of things, the real one at least.

I've come to know more about my mother, bit by bit, she tells me about her life, her studies, how she met Ivan, how she adjusted to live in Russia.

And like that, I've managed to process everything, to understand, and most importantly to live with and to love the family I have.

[radishearts]

ladynoir july: Confession week

Read on Ao3:

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Confession week day 3, part 4: Babysitting. 

Analyse the following sentences:

“No Manon, you can’t play mecha strike three.”

“No Manon, don’t touch that!”

“No Manon, i’m not a fairy.”

Do they have anything in common?

The correct answer is yes,

‘No Manon’, seemed to be the one thing marinette had been repeating all night, other than the dread of events that had occurred earlier that evening, she told herself she was going to give him a chance, one chance, to win her over. She seemed to be a little flustered around him now, god knows why, but it was for the sake of herself, yeah, that sounded righ-

Her thoughts were cut short by a buzz in her pocket.

@Ladyofspots_official - evening m’lady, nice night to stargaze

@Chatnoir_official - we literally just saw each other kitty! - if that's what you're suggesting

@Ladyofspots_official- can’t blame a cat for trying?

She paused for a second,

@Chatnoir_official - it actually is really pretty out there, shame i’m on babysitting duties

@Ladyofspots_official - the saviour of Paris, babysitting? I never would have picked that as one of the things you spend your time with on a sunday night

@Chatnoir_official - a lot of things about me would surprise you,

Again she hesitated, looking at Manon who was now bundling herself in fabric. She deleted what she was about to send.

@Chatnoir_official- how good are you at lullabies kitty?

His response was almost instantaneous

@Ladyofspots_official- shall we say the eiffel tower in 15 minutes

@Chatnoir_official- great, thanks for the help, I may be a national disaster when it comes to babysitting

@Ladyofspots_official - you gotta handle children like akumas, dual style, you and me against the chirren m’lady

@Chatnoir_official - don’t start quoting vines.

@Ladyofspots - that's how I roll, see you soon!

Marinette didn’t reply, turning her attention to the monstrosity of Manon. She sighed.

“Hey Manon, would you like Ladybug and Chat noir to come and sing you some lullabies?”

“Really!” her eyes lit up “goody, goody!” she stopped making a mess and ran over to marinette.

“Just stay here, i’m gonna call ladybug!”

“You two are friends right?”

“Yeah, were friends!” marinette chuckled, “just remember to do what she says!”

“Yes marinette!”

“I’ll go get her then. Stay here Manon!”

She walked out of her room, quickly finding a place to transform. “Are you sure you don’t like him?” Tiki teased, pointing to the dreamy expression on her face

“Oh, shush up!” she said playfully “tiki spots on!”

A pink flash of light flooded the corridor and she knocked on the door to see Manon peeking through from the other side.

“Marinette said you would come.”

“Would you like to go stargazing with me and chat noir?”

“Really i can come.”

Ladybug nodded her head as she picked up a call from chat.

“You ready m’lady?”

“I’ll be there in a sec!”

“I’ll be waiting!”

Ladybug hoisted Manon up onto her back,

“Just remember, don’t tell chatnoir who you are, infact-” she stole a mask from the table, “you can wear this!”

“I get to pretend I'm a superhero?”

“Yeah, something like that, just hold on tight.”

She walked up the stairs onto the balcony and yo-yoed away.

“Evening again m’lady!” chatnoir greeted, running his hands through his blonde hair.

“Your right the stars are amazing!” she exclaimed, placing Manon down carefully on a beam

“And who is pigtails here?”

“Ladybug said i can’t tell you, that's why I'm wearing this mask, like a superhero!”

“ I suppose you need a code name in, i mean we can’t keep calling you pigtails, that's ladybugs nickname!”

“Ladybug has a nickname?”

“Several, now, how about kitten noir?”

“Your gonna adopt her aren’t you?”

“Why jealous much bugaboo?”

“No, absolutely not, it’s cute actually.”

“And what are you referring too?”

She rolled her eyes sarcastically.

“You didn’t.”

“I did.” he turned back to ‘kitten noir’ “can you see all the stars?”

“Yeah there pretty!”

“Would you say there as pretty as her?”

“Sure.” she replied gazing at the stars and not really paying attention to him.

Chat gave a side smile to ladybug.

“Chat…”

“A childs wisdom, beyond all of our understanding.”

“Really?”

“Yes-” chat glanced over at her, she was standing up in a hero pose, slightly shivering, “-are you cold?”

“ Even july get’s a little chilly.”

“Sit.”

“What?”

“Sit, and wait here with her, you must be freezing,i’ll be back soon.”

“No, it’s ok.” she sat down next to him.

“Would you prefer cuddles?” he joked

“Your just a flirt.”

“Only with you, just wait here ,” he said.

“What could he be up to?” she whispered

“Probably planning to kiss you.” Manon giggled

Ladybug gulped, her cheeks heating up. Minutes later he returned with bundles of blankets.

“rug up!” he exclaimed, thrusting a throw over at her.

“A little over the top kitty!”

“I’m not going to let you freeze am i?”

She sighed resting her head upon his shoulder, ‘kitty noir’ curled up in his lap.

“Stargazing was a good idea.”

“You can thank my inner genius.”

“More like inner flirt, we both know this was all just a plan for you too spend time with me.”

“If you figured it out, why did you come.”

“Like you said, you gotta handle children like akumas, dual style, you and me against the chirren my kitty!”

“I love when you call me that.”

“Call you what?”

“My kitty, it sounds like i’m your’s which you are but like-”

“True."

“I should shut up.” he sighed

“No keep talking, otherwise i'll fall asleep.”

“How about a story then?”

“Sounds good, shoot kitty.”

“Ok so like, once upon a time there was a lady and her knight,”

“And….”

“And the knight was head over heels for her,”

“but…”

“But the lady would not return her feelings.”

“Soo….”

“So, one day the royal scribe and her assistant asked some questions.”

“What type of questions?”

“The awkward type, they kept on asking whether he was courting her, after all she was a fair lady and many of the men were enchanted by her beauty.”

“Interesting,”

“Indeed, the lady denied it, however the scribes assistant challenged the knight to win the lady over in one week, the knight accepted, and in turn challenged the rest of the kingdom to confess their feelings to the ones they loved.”

“This story sounds familiar.”

“...By a blue bird this message was carried and delivered to all the land, each accepting the challenge.”

“What happened next?”

“Well in turn the knight won over her heart and her hand, and they all lived happily ever after.”

“I wonder where your inspiration came from?”

“Call it a retell?”

“Of an event that hasn’t occurred yet?”

“are you suggesting it might happen?”

“Who knows? It’s confession week chat, anything can happen!”

she stood up scooping Manon up into her arms.

“Even the things that seem...miraculous.” she winked at him, extracting the yo yo from her waist.

Now it was chat’s turn to run after her.

“Wait…” he pleaded, grabbing her wrist. “See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow sounds amazing.”

He turned around, to collapse in sheer excitement. He wasn’t being rejected for once, and that was worth a celebration.

“And chat..” she said spinning her yoyo, “thanks for the story!”

And with that she zipped away leaving chat noir weak at the knees.

She was giving him a chance.

A chance to win her over.

he was going to take it.

And he was going to win it.

@ladynoirjuly2019

[gwynne-fics]

Pictures

welcome home p2

Hyo-Shin was a little surprised when he sat down in the visitor’s booth to wait for his guest. Normally, Rachel was already seated and waiting for him. He waited only a few minutes for her to come in with a stroller. His heart sped up as she placed the stroller next to her chair and lifted Hye-Rim out of it. She placed their daughter in her lap and smiled at him.

They matched, just like Rachel had wanted when he tried to comfort her that night. Hye-Rim had a pale yellow dress with purple ribbons and Rachel wore a sleek, lavender dress with dark purple accents and bright yellow shoes.

Hye-Rim stared at him and put her little fist against her chest before looking up at Rachel and back at him with surprise. “Yes, that’s Appa. Can you say hello?”

Hyo-Shin was mesmerized by her as Hye-Rim clapped her hands and giggled. She kicked her legs and babbled something that sounded happy. He put his hand against the glass as he leaned forward. He started crying when Hye-Rim did the same.

“I’m ready,” he heard himself say. “I want to come home.”

He looked up at Rachel and watched her smile fade into a more serious expression. “Are you sure? There are only two weeks left.”

“I’m sure. I want…I need to be with you. This is enough. I’ve punished myself enough. If you want me to stay the rest of the time, I will, but I’m ready to come home.”

“Give me two hours.” Rachel stood and placed Hye-Rim in her stroller. She walked out and an officer came to return him to his cell. Ninety minutes later, he was taken to the showers, and much like his leave for his father’s funeral, he was put into a tailored suit (cream with a light purple shirt) and escorted to the warden’s office. He spent about twenty minutes signing paperwork and having his blood drawn before Rachel entered, alone, and came to sit next to him.

Hyo-Shin didn’t hesitate to stand and pull her into a tight hug. Her arms came around him and he breathed in her perfume in an attempt not to start weeping. “Hye-Rim is with Go Nam-Il,” she murmured. “He is personally driving us to our new home.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Not the hotel?”

Rachel drew her fingers through his hair and pulled back to look at him. She tenderly wiped his cheeks and then kissed him. “Not the hotel. I moved us yesterday. It will be our home, not another prison.”

The tightness in his shoulders relaxed and he bowed his forehead to her shoulder. Rachel didn’t rush him. She only let go when he was ready to finish up whatever paperwork had to be signed. It was a testament to his exhaustion that he didn’t read everything as closely as he usually did because he just wanted to be with Rachel and Hye-Rim.

Rachel took his hand and placed a simple, white gold ring on his finger. She wore a matching one on her left hand. “If you don’t like it, we can pick something else when we get you fitted for new clothes. Let’s go.”

They were escorted to the lobby where Go Nam-Il stood, holding Hye-Rim, and bouncing her lightly. “She was upset I made her stay out here.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t want to be parted from you,” Hyo-Shin said right before Rachel had Go Nam-Il hand Hye-Rim to him. His arms full of his daughter while she looked at him with calm, beautiful, large eyes was not what he expected to happen so quickly. Hye-Rim blinked at him before giggling and laying her head on his shoulder. She reached out and pounded her little fist against his chest, right where his scar from Rachel sat. Then she did the same to herself before sighing happily.

“She’ll probably fall asleep like that. There are reporters outside. We’re just going to walk to the car. Nam-Il will keep them from bothering us. Take a deep breath.”

He did as she suggested and he held Hye-Rim tightly. “Why are there reporters?”

“It is a prison, there are always reporters. Some of them are wondering why I come here, once a week, to see you. That’s why I want to do the article. It will feed them long enough to forget us.”

“I trust you to do whatever is necessary to protect our family,” he said before he pressed his lips to the top of Hye-Rim’s head. She was both larger and smaller than he expected. Rachel smiled at him and took his hand. She waited until Go Nam-Il indicated that it was safe to walk out to the car. He was able to ignore the noise and shouting as they were rushed but the security team she brought with her, kept the reporters from shoving microphones in their faces.

Rachel took Hye-Rim from him when they reached the car and had Hyo-Shin get in first before she followed and expertly put their daughter in her car seat. Hye-Rim kept reaching for him so Rachel had him sit next to her and offer his fingers for her to play with. He fell into an odd silence with Rachel as she sat on the other side of Hye-Rim. She watched them and he couldn’t read her expression.

“That happened faster than I expected.”

“I’ve had it in place since your arrest,” Rachel said with a tight smile. “I’m glad you’ve agreed that we’re your home. I’m…I have no plan after this, Hyo-Shin. I don’t know what to do next.”

He felt a desperate laugh escape him. “That surprises me. You seem…you had a very clear opinion.”

“Yes, and we’re almost home. We will have to figure out what to do together.” She swallowed and didn’t look at him. It suddenly occurred to him that Rachel was afraid. He didn’t know how to answer her fears because he was afraid himself. What if she went to all of this effort and discovered she was wrong about them? “Hye-Rim will try to convince you she doesn’t need a nap but, if you would like, I can show you how to put her down.”

“Yes, I would like that. I would like to know everything about her routine so I can help you.” Hyo-Shin reached over Hye-Rim’s car seat took Rachel’s hand. “I’m sure you’re exhausted doing this on your own, even if it has been a few days.”

She smiled faintly and nodded. “I thought we might go shopping tomorrow. I have some of your clothing from your old apartment but it is clearly not going to fit you anymore. Too big in the waist and too tight in the shoulders.”

“We didn’t have a lot to do between meals and television privileges,” he admitted as the car came to a stop. “The gym was always open so I worked out a lot.”

“Young-Do has dragged me down to his gym ever since the doctor gave me a clean bill of health. Eun-Sang just encouraged him when she got back. If Hye-Rim cooperates, maybe we should do something together to keep it up.”

“I like that idea.” Her driver opened his door first and he was glad he could hurry to Rachel’s side of the car to help her and Hye-Rim out of the car. He took Hye-Rim’s carrier from Rachel and put his hand against the small of her back while she led him into a small, but lovely house. Go Nam-Il followed them inside and explained the security system to Hyo-Shin. He handed him a panic button, along with the code to unlock the front door. Then he bowed and left Hyo-Shin alone with his family. “That was abrupt.”

“It means he approves. He understands the reason you went to prison for me. I think he’s forgiven you for betraying me and Hye-Rim. He trusts my judgment. It means a lot to me that he came to help us today.” Rachel took his hand after he removed his shoes and led him further inside. “We have a cook who also is a maid. She lives in the building on the far side of this property so we can have the illusion of privacy,” she explained. “I give Eun-Sang and Young-Do two days before they come to visit. Bo-Na will restrain herself until tomorrow morning. Is there anyone you would like to come visit us?”

It was such an odd question and he almost didn’t have any answer for her. “I would like to see Chang-Soo,” he said after a moment. “He’s the only other person who acknowledged that I was in prison. He’s an ex but we remained friends after we broke up.”

“Then he is welcome here.” Rachel kissed his cheek and then showed him…their room. “Right now, Hye-Rim sleeps in here with me. When she can sleep through the night, we can move her into the nursery. Here, let’s put her down and then I’ll show you the rest of the house.”

Hyo-Shin tried not to break down into a weeping mess as he helped Rachel change Hye-Rim out of her cute dress and into a more comfortable onsie. Hye-Rim wrapped her little arms around his neck when he tried to put her in the bassinet. “Even her whines are adorable.”

Rachel snorted. “That will fade at three in the morning. Probably by the end of the week.”

“Never,” he said firmly and kissed her forehead. It was a struggle to pry Hye-Rim off of him, if only because he really didn’t want to let go of her, but Hyo-Shin laid her down after swaddling her and tried to smile.

“Will you sing one of your songs for her? Like you did when we were in the shower together?” Hyo-Shin blinked at her timid request before he cleared his throat and sang one of his favorite childhood lullabies. Hye-Rim grinned and wiggled free of her blankets as she reached her hand up. He let her grip his finger as he went through nearly all the short songs he knew.

Hye-Rim fell asleep clutching his finger and he had to work to get her to relax and let go of it. He didn’t realize he was alone with his daughter until he looked up to find Rachel gone. He left…their…room and found her sitting on the couch, staring off into space. She blinked when he sat down next to her.

“Are you alright?”

She nodded and put her hand on his knee. “Are you hungry? I can get Woo-Hee to make us dinner.”

He shook his head and took her hand. “This feels surreal. I didn’t expect this at all when I woke up this morning.”

“Neither did I. I…I was afraid when I brought Hye-Rim with me that it wouldn’t work. You surprised me today in the best way possible.” She stood. “Let me show you the rest of the house.”

Before she could turn away from him, Hyo-Shin wrapped his arms around her waist and held onto her tightly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry that you had to be pregnant alone. I’m sorry I left you alone with Hye-Rim for so long. I hope you forgive me for wanting to come to you this way instead of shirking my responsibility as someone who wronged you. I will never leave you again. I don’t know what our future holds but I want to figure that out with you.”

Rachel leaned against him and buried her face in his shoulder as she began to cry. Hyo-Shin held her close and stroked her hair as he tried to comfort her. He hoped his apology was enough. He hoped it was what she wanted.

For the first time, in almost two years, he did not feel like trash.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you.”

“I needed that. Thank you.”

They didn’t move for a long time.