#these looked so good until i uploaded them lmao oh well

[msketeer]

morfydd clark as galadriel

[cryptidofthekeys]

A Tiny Star is Born - Mr. Puzzles x Tiny!Reader

Alrighty, finally done with this one! It isn't super long- I mean longer than I expected, but here y'all go, G/T time with Mr. Puzzles! You get a lot more special privileges than anyone else, even members of his crew lmao- he'd just slap them away instead of doing what he's doing with you-

Only trigger warning for this one is that the reader nearly has a panic attack!

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You were sitting there on the couch, you had needed a self care day today as many things have been stressing you out as of recently, and so here you are, with your favorite drinks, snacks, and a weighted blanket to help keep you comfortable, you had seen your favorite streaming service Puzzlevision has uploaded a new episode, you had always loved that streaming service.

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It had a lot of good content, in fact, you were probably the number one fan as not many others watched it for whatever reason and even those who did, didn’t give it high regard, you would also always give the episodes five star ratings.

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It was like a comfort series for you, but either way, you sat there for most of the night, binging some of the previous episodes while eating your snacks, it was cozy and comfortable, and you could feel yourself beginning to relax as you focused on the TV, you could feel your stress melting away already, watching the silly antics going on, you smiled and giggled occasionally.

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You really needed this, this self care day …er, well night was exactly what you needed, as you watched a few episodes, at episode three, you could’ve sworn you seen something on the screen flicker.

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But at first you ignored it, thinking maybe it was just a weird glitch in the program, about halfway into that episode, you could’ve sworn you saw a glimpse of someone standing in the background that you KNEW hadn’t been there before as you’ve watched these episodes already, you shuddered a little, maybe your television was just messing up, or maybe some programming malfunction, it was so brief and so fast whenever it happened and then for the next few episodes, it was normal, you relaxed a bit more now, figuring it was just some glitches.

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You tried not to worry too much about it and continued watching the episodes until you were finally on the new one, excited, you sit up a bit more, still keeping yourself wrapped up in the weighted blanket, you cut the volume up and became fully focused, like you usually had when a new episode dropped.

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And well, it was pretty long, about thirty minutes or more, this episode involved a circus of sorts with all sorts of interesting colorful characters, they were going on wacky wild adventures which entertained you pretty well.

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You finished some of your snacks and the drink you had and for now you sat there and watched, thoroughly enjoying this episode, technically it had been out for a few days now as you hadn’t had time to sit down until you pretty much forced yourself, the episode was pretty sad with the end though, with one character disappearing into nothingness, which broke your heart a little, but even then, you enjoyed this episode a lot!

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You had looked at the ratings of it and frowned, it had even lower ratings than the last one from what the overall public says, it had 3.2 which made you sigh, you didn’t understand why others didn’t like this but oh well, it didn’t matter, what mattered was you liked it.

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You rated it five stars, and as you did, after you rated it and backed out of the website, it came right back up, you tried to close it, it did it again, you raised a brow, what was… Going on with the technology tonight?! You sighed in frustration as at some point your phone shut itself off and you sat it down on the table, and that’s when you noticed, the lights around your house were flickering and when you looked back at your television, you jumped slightly…

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Okay, you DEFINITELY saw a face for a split second there, you saw that one message you’ve seen when they were doing maintenance on the network, it said ‘PUZZLEVISION, PLEASE STAND BY’ and had the logo in the middle, you blinked in confusion but shrugged, maybe there was some kind of power surge going on, and then you yelped and jumped as some of the lights seemed to blow in the house.

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And you were nearly left in pitch black darkness except for the light of the television screen, you hear it beginning to static, the static growing progressively louder with each passing moment, and then those color bars appeared along with a beep that honestly made your ears ring.

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You were completely confused and beginning to grow frightened, this wasn’t… Normal… This wasn’t just a glitch… And then your suspicions were confirmed, as suddenly a face popped up on the television screen, a colorbar shaped into a smile, white eyes, two funky shaped eyebrows, and well you screamed in horror which made the face change into one of shock before you heard a voice speak...

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“Ah…! There you are! I’ve been waiting for you to log back on to Puzzlevision’s streaming service! C’mere” And then before you knew it, you heard a squelching sound and then saw a huge hand reaching for you from the TV.

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You naturally panicked and freaked out, immediately dropping the weighted blanket and trying to run, you had managed to get to the front door and you had gotten it open before you screamed as you were grabbed by the massive hand, it was a gentle grasp but you were completely engulfed and then before you knew it, you felt yourself being pulled back and into the television.

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You screamed and struggled, trying to fight off whatever the hell has grabbed a hold of you, you heard something that sounded like someone snapping their fingers and then you heard your front door close and lock.

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And then suddenly, you heard a bubbling sound and then… It was completely silent, you were encased in the giant hand, it was completely dark, and you were breathing heavily, and panicking, trying to squirm free, and then you heard a bunch of television static, and then suddenly, you felt the hand uncurling from you but gripping around your waist to ensure you didn’t go anywhere.

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You gasped and immediately looked around frantically, you saw some sort of weird television themed dimension, it was weird, and hard to focus fully on, but you could see TV sets floating around this strange space looking dimension.

------------------------------------------------------- You were shaking and breathing heavily and about to have a panic attack but then you heard a voice “Hey, hey! My dear…! Relax, just look at me, all eyes on me~!” The voice cheerfully spoke, and then you slowly looked to where you heard that voice and your eyes went wide, you looked up, and saw a… Giant television in front of you, it was that same face you had seen on your own TV set just a few moments ago.

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You could see the television was gray, had some dials and buttons, clearly an old model of television, he wore a black bowler hat, and had two antennas atop it, one shaped like a lightning bolt, he was also dressed very fancy in mostly gray, black, and white.

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Your mouth fell agape in shock, your panic somewhat dying down as you realized just who you were staring at, as it finally struck you…

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And well, the TV humanoid’s screen changed to show a more smug face “Ah, you recognize my handsome face now, my dear little star?” You were shocked as your struggles died down to some degree even though you were still nervous “...Y-You… You’re… M-M-M-M…” And then the TV headed humanoid’s face flickered to some annoyance by you being too shocked to speak clearly before his screen showed that smug look again.

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“Yes, yes, that’s right… The common denominator…! The most handsomest, and amazing host of ALL your favorite shows… MR. PUZZLES!” His face flickered to a grin that honestly looked a little unsettling.

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You were completely surprised by this, not only were you meeting the man behind Puzzlevision itself but also the man responsible for creating your favorite television shows and movies, you were meeting an… Idol essentially, but the thing that was the most shocking was just how huge this dude was, he was LITERALLY a giant, in fact he had to be 90 to a 100ft tall, he was holding you a gloved palm like you were weightless.

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It was… Scary… He brought you closer to the screen “My my, absolutely flabbergasted by my presence are we? I know, I know~ I’m quite wonderful, but, aside from that…! I want you to relax, I am not here to harm you or anything vile like that!”

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“No no, in fact, YOU my dear… You are the one who's been rating my shows with a PERFECT five stars, have you not?” And before you could speak, he chuckled, his face flickering to a happy smile “Of course you are! Well, I’m here to personally thank you! I do… Apologize for frightening you so, I er…” And then his face shifted to an annoyed and potentially embarrassed look.

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“...I’ll be honest, I do sometimes forget just how horrifying it could be to see a giant hand emerging from your television screen and then… Snatching you up, my intentions really were NOT to frighten you! In fact, I have a proposal of sorts for you in mind!”

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And then you were about to ask but once again, Mr. Puzzles spoke, he seemed to have realized something “Oh, where are my manners though, I’ve told you my name, which you obviously knew, but I’m afraid I don’t know your name, so what is it my little star?” You took a moment, squinting your eyes as you expected to be interrupted but Mr. Puzzles gestures for you to go on, his face going back to that smug look and so you spoke, still a bit shaky from the whole ordeal as you rested on Mr. Puzzles’ palm.

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“M-My name is… (Y/N)” And this made him snicker a bit “Ah, I see, this is a reader insert fanfiction where you can enter your own name…” You blinked a few times “. . .What?” And then he shook his head, his face going back to a smile.

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“Oh never you mind that, my little star! Just talking to myself… Anyways! It’s truly a pleasure to meet you, (Y/N), you’re QUITE a big fan of my show, and I must say I am honored by that…” And then Mr. Puzzles snapped his fingers and the television sets around all changed to the website, to show your ratings specifically, showing all those five stars you’ve given.

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“You’ve given me five stars on every episode so far, and even though the overall audience would… Disagree” His face flickered to show annoyance before flickering back “Your opinions of my show have NOT gone unnoticed!”

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Mr. Puzzles then leans in closer to get a better look at your tiny form, he seems to be pondering something, he seems to get a good idea but he doesn’t say much, waiting for you to speak now.

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You take a moment to recompose yourself, you take some deep breaths and then finally you speak “I- Um… Well, I’m… Glad I could at least help, with my ratings but… …What does that… Have to do with anything? Why did you take me? And also, you… H-How are you so gigantic?”

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Mr. Puzzles pauses for a moment before chuckling “Well now, aren’t we full of questions, naturally so, either way, I’ll answer the simple one first, how I’m so gigantic, it’s simple really, I can grow my body or shrink it to whatever size I please” . . . That… Really didn’t make sense to you but then you looked around at the weird dimension you were in and looked at the being responsible for your favorite shows.

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…Eh, maybe some things didn’t need to be questioned too much… And then Mr. Puzzles’ screen flickered, showing that wide colorbar grin that unsettled you a little, he leaned even closer, his huge screen nearly touching you, the light from it was… Bright and warm, it was… Somewhat comforting “You wanna know why I chose you…? It’s very simple, my little star… Seeing how you're such a big fan of mine and how many times you’ve watched all those episodes”

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And just like that, the television sets around you flickered to show you, to show you on your couch or in other areas watching those shows and okay that was… Creepy.

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“I figured I would make you a little proposition… So, (Y/N)... How would you like to star… In your very own show?!” Mr. Puzzles spoke excitedly, he saw your surprise, and waited for a response, you thought about it, but were a bit unsure “...I-I don’t know… I-” And then Mr. Puzzles cut you off, a smug look on his face “Think about it…! You could be a star, aligned to my vision of course, we could create something PERFECT here!”

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And then you took a few moments to think about it further, and well… It’s not like you had anything better to do, you just hoped it wouldn’t stress you out too much, on the positive side, you’d get to be working with the creator of Puzzlevision himself “...Y’know what …Sure…”

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Mr. Puzzles’ had a grin on his face, but it wasn’t that unsettling one, he seemed completely delighted “Fantastic! Then… A Tiny Star is Born!” And then he chuckled, muttering something under his breath “…Also funnily enough the title to this story…” Before you could question it, he held you carefully in his gloved hands and spun around happily with you.

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“My dear, you and I will create something wonderful together! Come, come, let’s get started!” You smiled a little, while he could be a bit… Eccentric and honestly a little unsettling looking at times, Mr. Puzzles seemed genuinely nice enough.

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And then you heard him snap his fingers and suddenly, the setting around you changed, it looked like a dressing room of sorts, Mr. Puzzles finally sets you down in the chair, giving your head a little pat with his finger “Now darling~! It’s time to tell you what you’re going to be doing” And then he snapped his fingers again and suddenly, a script appeared in your lap.

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“This is going to be a tale of action… Adventure! Comedy! …Maybe some tragedy… And who knows, maybe even… Romance~!” And he winked when he said that which made you blush a little before you opened the script and began to read it.

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Judging from what the script says, it’s about you getting imprisoned in a cage of sorts by an evil giant, and you have to escape from there, and then your adventure will unfold once free.

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Mr. Puzzles then smiled, clasping his hands together as he looked down at your tiny form, he bent down “Just read over your script and rehearse for as long as you need to, mkay? After all, you can’t just rush perfection~ And when you’re done, some of my assistants will help you with your costume! Good luck, my little star!” And then with a snap of his fingers, Mr. Puzzles disappeared...

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Leaving you alone to catch your breath and take a bit to fully process what was happening, you had essentially been kidnapped by not only a giant TV headed humanoid, but also the man who just happens to be the one behind Puzzlevision itself and he had just essentially hired you as an actor.

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And yet here you were, sitting in the chair, looking at yourself in the mirror, which, you noticed while the room was giant sized, a lot of the objects were perfectly sized for you, everything seemed to have been customized to fit your size, you weren’t complaining though, at least Mr. Puzzles was considerate enough …Either way, you looked down at the script and sighed, smiling a little, this couldn’t be all bad, after all.

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You had met your idol and you were going to be working with him! This gave you determination, excitement, and so you began to read through the entire script, reading the idea, fixating on it much like you did with those shows, you would also rehearse your lines over and over again until they were memorized.

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During this time because well, nobody could just memorize all that in a day, Mr. Puzzles would pop in and check up on your progress and offer you some supporting words, and also obviously giving you something to eat and drink as well as even offering you breaks from time to time, during these breaks, you two would actually get to know more about each other, Mr. Puzzles would let you sit in his palm, you’d talk about yourself.

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And he’d talk about himself …A LOT, although, you noticed despite his egotistical nature that he seemed to genuinely listen to you, in fact, you noticed with any other crew, he’d listen to you more so instead of constantly interrupting and talking over.

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What seemed to stun everyone the most is the fact that Mr. Puzzles listened to YOUR ideas and actually liked them or implemented them into the show they were planning, because according to the crew, he NEVER listened to anyone aside from himself, he’d barely even listen to his own audience, you took notice that you got… Some special privileges, and then finally, after a while of rehearsing, some tweaking of the script, costume design, and all that.

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It was time… Mr. Puzzles appeared, hands clasped together and a smug look on his face “Alright, my dear little star! It’s time for your big debut! It’s time for you to shine!” You smiled and nodded, all dressed up as the man picked you up, holding you gently in his gloved palms, his face flickered back to a smile.

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You knew how badly Mr. Puzzles wanted to hit a full five star rating on his show, and you knew he could be… VERY much a perfectionist but he seemed to lighten up with you around “Yeah, maybe you’ll get the five stars this time, I uh, I’ll definitely do my best to help you, Mr. Puzzles” And the TV headed humanoid paused momentarily before smiling with his head tilted to the side.

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He pats your head affectionately “D’aww… Aren’t you sweet? You’ll do fantastic! After all, a face like yours was made for television, if I do say so myself~” And you blushed a bit at that and then… It was time…

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Mr. Puzzles heard a crew announce that and then he sets you down gently, he ushers you along with some big fingers “Now go on my dear! You can do this, you’ll look fantastic!” Mr. Puzzles praises which gives you some confidence and you nod, and then you were heading out there, it was… A bit nerve wracking, you were worried deep down of failing, disappointing or worse, upsetting Mr. Puzzles as well.

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You had seen how the man could be, sure his anger nor disappointment had NEVER been directed at you so far but seeing that one face… Those realistic eyes and lips, it was… Horrifying to say the least.

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You just tried to do your best, once the cameras were rolling, you played your part, an innocent tiny human who had been captured by a giant, taken to a castle, and shoved into a cage, well, you supposed he was handsome to you as Mr. Puzzles tended to star in his own shows a lot, you acted out your part, the other gigantic being acting out theirs, you had no idea where they even came from but you didn’t question it.

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Then came the scene of the giant about to grab you from your cage before, they had fallen over as if knocked out, and well, sure enough, here comes Mr. Puzzles, playing the hero, a hand extends to you, which you had been told to act fearful of at first to the script.

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…It was… Hard to truly be fearful when you trusted him as much as you did, and then Mr. Puzzles spoke, his voice dramatic …Well, more dramatic than usual “No no, my dear…! Don’t be frightened, I am here to save you from this monstrous creature…! Climb onto my hand, and I shall free you from your gruesome fate…!” You acted hesitantly like you had rehearsed, acting hesitantly as you walked over to the massive palm splayed out in front of you.

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And then you slowly climbed onto it and you were lifted up to see the face …Well, the screen of your savior, you saw the smug smile on his screen and well, you genuinely blushed, you couldn’t help it, and you had even seen some blush on his screen as well, it wasn’t… A part of the script but it added to the scene.

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And then, Mr. Puzzles was about to take you away from there before the giant began to wake up, and then a battle ensued, Mr. Puzzles had set you down, standing in front of you protectively, it took you every fiber of your being not to roll your eyes at how dramatic he was when speaking “Don’t worry my dear! I’ll keep you safe! You have nothing to fear!” Mr. Puzzles and the giant fought.

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A clash of titans if you would… You of course went and hid behind one of the containers on the shelf as that’s what was scripted, the fight lasted for about twenty minutes or so before Mr. Puzzles came out on top, he stood over the fallen giant victoriously.

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And then Mr. Puzzles walked back over to you, breathing heavily for the effect, he then extended a huge palm down to the table “Come now, my dear, let me get you out of here” And then you stepped out, and began walking toward the palm, looking up at him, you climbed onto it and then he began to walk out of the castle, walking and taking one last look back on the fallen giant, after walking out, that ended the scene.

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And another version of him sitting in a chair yelled “CUT!” You honestly didn’t know how he could do what he did, but then again, magic was already a pretty nonsensical thing, you had stopped questioning things upon first meeting him to be honest.

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That copy had disappeared in dramatic fashion after that and the real Mr. Puzzles holding you currently held you up and began to swing you around carefully and gently “My dear little star! You have such talent! I just KNEW I picked the perfect actor for my shows!” You smiled, your face slightly reddened at those words, you had hoped this would help Mr. Puzzles get to five stars as you knew how badly he had wanted it.

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In fact, during the time you two had spent together, he had confided in you just how badly he wanted to hit that five star rating, he had even mentioned something that if he hit those five stars then nothing would ever be the same again.

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You really hoped you could help him achieve this dream of his and then Mr. Puzzles set you down, his screen flickering to that happy grin of his, it was the less unsettling one, you noticed how his eyes seemed to move about during it, it was a cute expression …Although you definitely had your favorite expression of his, you wouldn’t say that out loud though, and then he set you down on the ground “Alrighty! Why don’t you go and take a breather, (Y/N)? After all, I’m sure you’re exhausted after that wonderful performance!"

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You nodded, he was right, you were exhausted after all that, especially from all the nervousness you felt deep down, you headed off to your own little room that Mr. Puzzles had designed specifically for you.

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You did wonder if he planned to keep you here forever or something, after all, you did have a home to go back to, you maybe needed to talk to him about that… …For now, you sat in your room that was perfectly customized to your size, you sighed and took some deep breaths, you decided to grab yourself something to snack on and drink and then you sat down on the couch, you needed some stress relief, so you decided to read a book.

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After all, usually after shows were filmed, Mr. Puzzles would be gone for a bit, you assumed he was keeping up with the ratings and well making sure everything was in order, he seemed to be on top of everything that goes on here, he seemed to be in control of everything here judging from the looks of it.

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You read your book for a bit before moving onto playing some video games, you did that for a little bit, and then finally, you listened to some music, all of these activities easing your stress, although, there was a lingering fear deep down in the back of your head, worrying that you hadn’t done a good job, that Mr. Puzzles would be angry with you if he didn’t hit those five stars...

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Even if he had never shown any signs of anger to you, you definitely had a lot more special privileges compared to the other crew members and actors, in fact, you were the one Mr. Puzzles hung out with a lot, he rarely ever hung out with the others, if he did, it was mostly for appearance’ sake.

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He could be egotistical a LOT, he was a perfectionist, he had a lot of… Questionable traits in all fairness but as you sat there listening to music, you kept thinking of the TV headed humanoid, you had been here already for… Well, a long time, Mr. Puzzles had said you had been here for about a week when you asked, which on one hand you REALLY needed to get back to your home because you just know you had some cleaning to do amongst other things.

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But on the other you didn’t… Necessarily want to leave here either, the reason is because even during the week you had spent here, you had saw Mr. Puzzles less as an idol, but more so… As a crush, you were developing feelings for him.

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You thought back to just a few moments ago, when the two of you had blushed at one another, you thought about that damn face, that damn smug look he oh so loved to wear all the time… Even now, when you were alone, just thinking about it made your face blush, you groaned as you plopped down on the couch, laying down and placing your hands over your face.

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You were falling in love with the TV headed humanoid and you felt silly for it, after all, hell, you doubted he felt anything like THAT toward you, sure, he liked you and gave you special privileges and… . . . Wait… Did he also have feelings for you? You shot up from the couch, thinking about that now.

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And the more you thought about that the more you began to realize that maybe he did have a thing for you, you wouldn’t assume obviously, but it would make plausible sense, before you could question it further though, suddenly, you had been teleported out of your room and grabbed up by a giant gloved hand like usual, you yelped and panicked just a little bit from the suddenness of it and before you could even try to speak or protest...

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Mr. Puzzles was spinning around with you again, and okay, this time it was making you pretty dizzy, the TV headed humanoid wasted no time in telling you what the deal was “My dear little star! Look!” He pointed at his own television screen, and it flickered.

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This time, not showing a face but he showed the episode that had just dropped with you in it, and your eyes widened, you looked shocked, the episode had a full five stars, everyone, even some of those executives that had criticized the show so harshly were stunned with their reviews of it, they had even given it a five stars, the overall opinion of the public was that this show was very good, and this meant you had helped him.

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You had helped Mr. Puzzles achieve his dream, and that made you ecstatic, now you understood why he was spinning you around “H-Hah…! We did it!” You were happy, finally, the streaming service and the shows you had such a passion and love for, now people seemed to understand.

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Mr. Puzzles’ faces flickered between each one except the scary and annoyed expression, he seemed like he was going to overload with happiness unless he calmed down, he tried to calm down and recompose himself, his face going back to a regular smile “Yes! I finally got my five stars, and it’s thanks to you, my dear! I just knew I made the right decision by taking you with me, with you by my side, we’ll be unstoppable! The whole WORLD will tune into Puzzlevision to watch our shows!”

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It was not often, if at all that Mr. Puzzles would give anyone else aside from himself the spotlight, the credit, but he seemed to be ecstatic by the thought of sharing the fame if it meant sharing it with you.

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You were happy, and you hadn’t realized there were some tears forming in your eyes, because well, knowing you had helped him succeed, that took a lotta nervousness off that you had been feeling, Mr. Puzzles quickly noticed this, and his face flickered to an expression you hadn’t seen before, a face of genuine concern and worry “(Y/N)? My favorite little actor… What’s wrong? Have I been holding you too tightly? Did the swaying scare you?”

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You were quick to shake your head “N-No, I just… I’m just… Really glad I helped you, I-I uh, I won’t lie to you, Mr. Puzzles… I-I was… Kinda nervous, anxious about…” And you paused, unsure whether you should admit this.

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But, Mr. Puzzles looked like he wanted to know what you were about to say, in fact, he wasn’t interrupting you, and well, you couldn’t lie to him or hide that forever, so you sighed and decided to open up just a bit “...I-I just, I was worried… That i-if I didn’t, um, get you to five stars, that you’d… Get angry with me” And Mr. Puzzles gasps, his face flickering to one of surprise but he understood why you’d think that, and then he brought you closer to his screen.

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A warm smile on his face as he held you in his giant gloved palm “Oh my dear little star… My sincerest, I… Know I must have put a LOT of stress on you during those times, and while, true, I do get angry with some of my staff…”

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Mr. Puzzles begins to gently stroke your head with his other hand, using a finger since he didn’t want to accidentally squish your tiny form “I would never take my anger out on you…! You… …Well, as cliché as it may sound, you are… Special to me, not just my favorite actor obviously, I…” And then he paused, seemingly trying to find the words, his screen flickered, and well, he awkwardly stuttered which is rare for someone as confident as him.

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And his screen had pink where his cheeks would be “...W-Well I… Erm, I… I value… You…” His words sound a bit robotic before a flicker of annoyance crosses his face and he sighs before finally speaking properly “I… I really do value your company, you make this space feel… LESS lonely”

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You looked up at Mr. Puzzles, processing his words, you felt his finger reach up to wipe your tears gently away and that made you smile and blush slightly yourself, you reached out to hold his finger, your hand could just barely fit around the gloved appendage because of your small stature, while you did need to address the fact that you also needed to go home …At least every once in a while.

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You could do that later, as it seems Mr. Puzzles had an idea, as he pulled his free hand back “Here, I know just the way to make it up to you” And with a snap of his fingers, the space around you two changed, into a much cozier setting.

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It was your home but, big enough to accommodate Mr. Puzzles’ huge height, a place where you felt at your most comfortable and safe, he snapped his fingers again and a weighted blanket formed around you, wrapping securely around you, some of your comfort foods and drinks appeared if you wanted, Mr. Puzzles then holds you close to his chest, and well.

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You can hear a heartbeat, it makes you wonder about Mr. Puzzles anatomy, just how did the man work exactly…? He was a TV headed humanoid, did he have a real heart or was he just imitating a heartbeat to give you comfort? Either way, it was a very nice gesture.

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Mr. Puzzles looked down at you with a warm smile and a blush on his face “Let’s just enjoy some quiet time together my dear little star” You nodded at that, feeling utterly relieved to have the pressure taken off and to just be able to relax, you sat there in the palm of the TV headed humanoid’s hand, he gently stroked your hair in an affectionate manner.

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You hadn’t had much time to think about it since you had been working for the last week or so with Mr. Puzzles but, now you were paying attention to just how tiny you were in the palm of his hands, you fit perfectly in them, you felt… Comfortable and safe, despite how unhinged the man could be.

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You have seen some of his more… Unhinged moments play out as the week had unfolded obviously, and well, he could definitely be intense but he never seemed like that to you…

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You watched as Mr. Puzzles looked down at you, even the way he looked at you compared to others was different, he had a soft, gentle expression on his face, he did give you that smug look sometimes but that just made your heart swoon whenever he did, and you had a feeling he knew that because he loved to pull that face on you more often.

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In fact, his screen flickered to that face as if he had read your mind, he didn’t speak but he was smugly staring down at you, he adored attention and oh boy, did he love your attention on him like this.

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You felt the warmth of Mr. Puzzles screen bearing down on you, it wasn’t overwhelming or super hot, just a pleasant warmth that made you feel comforted, you knew your parents had once told you not to sit too close to the TV many times but, well, considering how things are now, you wouldn’t mind sitting close to THIS television, it’s something you could get used to.

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You snuggled a bit closer in the giant TV headed humanoid’s palm and you saw his screen flicker for a split second, he seemed surprised that you were so comfortable, so trusting around him but then he had a genuine smile and a pink blush on his screen.

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You two didn’t speak, but you didn’t have to, the looks on your faces, the atmosphere of the room spoke for itself, Mr. Puzzles gently reached his free hand down, stroking your cheek with a huge finger, you allowed this to happen, even nuzzling slightly into the touch, it felt… Nice, you felt completely safe and trusting in these giant hands.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

You reached out to gently pat his finger, as a silent thank you, pausing slightly when you looked at your own hand just compared to one of his fingers alone, you were pretty fascinated by the size difference, even though Mr. Puzzles had said he could shrink or grow whenever he felt like it.

---------------------------------------------------------------

You had questioned to yourself at some point why he stayed this height, in fact at some point during the week you had asked why he stayed that height and he gave you a strange answer, yet another weird thing of mentioning a story of sorts, he had said something along the lines of ‘Oh, that’s because this story wouldn’t exactly be an x Tiny!Reader if I wasn’t giant’ . . . You REALLY needed to ask him to explain what he meant by all that because it had just confused you completely.

-----------------------------------------------------

But for now, you were beginning to grow sleepy, you yawned and Mr. Puzzles seemed to catch on to it, and well his screen flickered for a moment before going back to his smile, and then, soft, relaxing music began to play.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You smiled, appreciative of that as you lay down on the palm of his hands, he continued to stroke your head gently, keeping you held securely to his chest, the steady rhythm of a heartbeat that you didn’t know was real or synthetic but either way, the steady rhythm helped further relax you, you snuggled into both his palm and the weighted blanket, you began to close your eyes, you felt the warm glow and light of his screen on you.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You could tell he was looking at you, and well, Mr. Puzzles wouldn’t deny, to him, you looked absolutely adorable like this, he was… Awkward with admitting any feelings he may have, hell, he had been awkward trying to tell you that you mattered to him in general.

---------------------------------------------------------------

You then spoke finally, your soft sleepy voice echoing out “...Goodnight, Mr. Puzzles…” And then Mr. Puzzles chuckled softly, patting your head “...Goodnight, my dear little star… Sleep well…” And then you finally fell asleep, safe and sound in the palm of his hands.

-----------------------------------------

(Woo boy gfjdhgdfsk be glad y'all get the fluff- bc oh man I have a lotta angsty ideas for this sadistic tv headed freak /vpos but legit I do have a lot of fun writing g/t stuff, a part of me misses doing that for characters but genuinely I hope y'all enjoy!)

[pookietv]

small pause | arthurtv

requested!! an arthurtv x reader social media break up, but with a happy ending :)

hope u guys enjoyed and i loved doing this so if you have anymore requests please send them in!!

liked by arthurtv, freyanightingale and 5,278 more tagged bambinobecky

yourusername: forcing becky to take me on museum dates that she doesn't care about

bambinobecky: you stared at the paintings and i stared at your arse

↳ yourusername: sounds like a good trade tbh x

gkbarry: your haiiiiir i would kill for mine to be that thick

↳ yourusername: love you endlessly girl

sabinablair: looking gorgeous

↳ yourusername: need to see you soon! missed u like crazy x

liked by georgeclarkeey, chrismd10 and 6,839 others

arthurtv: went back to jersey for a while, sorry for the lack in uploads! wanted some time at home and with family for a bit, will be back and uploading next week :)

georgeclarkeey: come back i miss our cuddles

↳ arthurtv: you weren't supposed to tell anyone about that

arthurnfhill: looking good!

↳ arthurtv: are you flirting with me??

user1: omg him going home to feel better after the breakup, arthurxy/n heart is breaking

liked by yourusername, arthurtv and 7,208 more. tagged arthurtv

theuselesshotlinepod: had the lovely @/arthurtv on with us this week to talk UK youtube, dating, and growing up with chris md!

arthurtv: is george allowed to touch everyone like that in the workplace??

↳ maxbalegde: well we tell him not to due to HR but he just couldn't keep his hands off you x

liked by faithlouisak, taliamar and 6,302 more

yourusername: dragging the girls to come out for cocktails has become a too often occurrence (not that i'm complaining)

taliamar: ugh was so good to see you

↳ yourusername: ditto, literally have been rotting in bed so the girls was exactly what i needed

faithlouisak: ur so hot

↳ yourusername: coming from my favourite milf x

bambinobecky: what is there on this earth that cocktails can't fix?

↳ yourusername: i'll not go too deep on the main insta x

yourusername has posted on their story!

liked by yourusername, georgeclarkeey and 6,893 more

arthurtv: a silly little last min trip to greece :)

georgeclarkeey: any excuse for you to take your top off

↳ arthurtv: your mum wasn't complaining last night

arthurnfhill: literally didn't even realise you had left the flat, you're in greece?

↳ arthurtv: glad to know i'm appreciated

liked by arthurtv, bambinobecky and 6,390 others

yourusername: i went away for the weekend and thought i'd share some of the cute photos (ps: there were so many cats i loved it so much)

taliamar: literally the prettiest!! i didn't even know you were going on holiday

↳ yourusername: was a last min long weekend thing, i didn't even know i was going away until the day before lmao

username3: anyone think it looks really similar to where arthur is rn???

gkbarry: you're so hot oml

↳ yourusername: no u

bambinobecky: could have at least taken me with u

↳ yourusername: next time next time x

username1: y/n's single hot girl summer era is gonna go so hard

↳ yourusername: about that ...

↳ username2: what the fuck does she mean 'about that'????

↳ yourusername: hehe

liked by arthurtv, bambinobecky and 6,389 others tagged arthurtv

yourusername: okay so i may not have been on holiday alone

user1: oh my FUCKING god i called it

user2: mrs television is back i been waiting for thissss

georgeclarkeey: we all called it, knew it wouldn't be off for long

↳ yourusername: get lost loser

↳ georgeclarkeey: you mock but living with him in his mopey missing y/n era was no fun

arthurtv: you did me dirty with that second photo of my entire plate of beans

↳ yourusername: i mean what are you gonna do, break up with me again?

↳ arthurtv: way to kick a guy when feels guilty

↳ yourusername: being guilty is a small price to pay if it means you'll take me on holidays again :)

↳ arthurtv: i think i owe you a million holidays

↳ yourusername: i can live with that x

maxbalegde: possibly the shortest breakup i've ever seen (but i knew it wouldn't last long, arthur literally looks lost when ur not in a room let alone not in his life)

↳ yourusername: just means i'm stuck with him for good

liked by yourusername, arthurnfhill and 7,839 others

arthurtv: she only got back with me to make me take nice photos of her

yourusername: absolutely not!!! (it's also for the banging cuppas you make)

↳ arthurtv: ah, makes sense

user1: favourite couple are officially back together

[muffinrecord]

Current Plans + Musings

I don't plan on playing Exedra to the degree I did for Magia Record, or playing it at all. Because of that, I won't be taking an active role in the community and archiving anything for it. Of course, if Exedra has like amazing gameplay and stories then this is all subject to change, but for now I think I'm done with phone games.

The two youtube channels will stay up and I'll check em periodically to make sure there aren't copyright strikes against the content. I've saved all my raw files, especially for the battle animations, so I can remake them in the future if the music ever becomes a problem for some reason.

Google Drive will stay up until Google rots away. I haven't recorded footage in a long time (as in stories, I do for the character doppels and such), but I'll upload things if they're sent to me.

Magia Union Translations still plans on translating things and making videos, especially leading up to the end, but also for after the game is over for whatever wasn't made in time. I'm not sure what form this will take in the future-- if it'll be manual captions added to the videos or not, but I know it WILL happen.

As for this blog, I'm not going to delete it or anything. However I'm going to be taking a step back. I'd like to say that I'll do liveblogs but I mean... *gestures at blog* I've been saying that for years and the only one I really did successfully was the Oriko one lmao. Ahhh oh well.

I'll have more words later, but it was really fun to be part of a fandom experience like this. I'm excited to work on my own original story projects though and quiet down a bit.

...

When I started this blog, I never expected it to have people actually read it. Or look at it. I just wanted a place to gush about how much fun I was having. I didn't even want to tag the posts with "Magia Record" at first because I was terrified people would be mean at me, haha.

But I'm glad I did. I made so many good friends through this game. I'm glad it existed. And it made me happy to have a place where people cared about what I had to say. Some folks actually got their news from here, can you imagine that? They had notifications turned on for this blog. My god.

Anyways, I'm going to be here for the next two months, and tomorrow I'll start reblogging fan projects and initiatives, plus general news. Maybe this blog will turn into a dumping site for art and fanfic reblogs, who knows. I might watch the remaining stuff and add various thoughts here and there.

Otherwise, you can find me on my main blog @malignmuffin, which only reblogs stuff (I don't talk much if at all there). I have another tumblr blog for my comic, but I think I'll reshare the name once I actually have content you can look at on it. It's pretty bare bones for the moment.

Actually it'll be funny if the end of this game is what makes me finally work on it again. I was in the process of working on it when NA came out, and it totally derailed me. Stopped writing, drawing, just focused on this silly little phone game. Now it's like those five years have gone by and I'm going back to where I started, except I think my lil comic is going to be a bit better than it was before. If I actually make it, that is.

If I ever do actually make my comic and start posting it, I'll be sure to update y'all here. hah

Anyways, thanks for being on this wild ride with me. The memories have been great, and I'm glad I had this experience, even if it had to end.

[my-name-is-markus-with-a-k]

prime numbers for the gif-maker asks? 👀

2. Least favourite set? Oh, I'm sorry but I don't want to answer that 😅 I've deleted any I really don't like, but I will say there's a set that keeps popping up in my notifs where I'm like 'really, that one again???' But that's all I will say. People like what they like.

3. The set with the most notes? This one with 1559 notes. I'm happy with that, it's a good set. The ones with Connor in them tend to do well.

5. Favourite movie/tv show to gif? dbh is my main fandom so yeah, dbh but more specifically, Markus. I just love giffing him, it's almost therapeutic at this stage.

7. Who are my top 3 gifmakers? @thirium @aghostinmyownmachine @mijchi for dbh gifs and also shout out to @babyjapril who is not a dbh giffer but her gifs are always incredible (sorry for the random tag ana).

11. One set I made that just won't die? I legitimately don't know what this means lol

13. Where and/or from whom did you learn to gif? I'm mostly self-taught but I have relied on a few tutorials here and there.

17. How many gifs do you prefer in a set? I guess 2? That's how many I usually make in a set, so that must be my preference. I do like a 4 set too though.

19. What I'd my giffing process like? Very on the fly, lol. I check to see if I have the footage I want, if I don't I screen record the scene I need. I upload that into ps, trim the clip to what I need, change the speed and crop. Then I brighten and colour them to whatever I'm feeling at the time. I always sharpen last. It's what takes the longest and I sometimes have to finick with the settings a bit until it looks nice on tumblr.

23. What's the thing you gif when you don't have anything else to gif? Take a wild guess. It's my boy ofc

29. Have you ever posted a set, realised you made a mistake later but realised it was too late? Oh yes many a time. Usually on sets with text and I made a typo. That's happens pretty often 😅 I usually go back and fix them anyway but then the old versions still get reblogged lol

31. Do you schedule/queue posts or do you post as soon as you're done? I usually post when I'm done. If I'm not really happy with a set, I'll save them to drafts and look at them later. If I decide they're actually OK, I'll post them, if not, I redo them. But I don't schedule posts, I'm too impatient.

37. What sets do you have planned to make in the future? There are a few sets I'm waiting to do when my skills catch up to my visions. But right now? There's a quote gifset I want to make with Markus but it will require time I just don't have right now.

41. Least favourite part of the gifmaking process? Oh my god, uploading to tumblr. I never really know what gifs are going to look good. Sometimes I'll spend ages on a set, upload to tumblr and it look like ass, so I have to redo the whole thing. It's infuriating.

43. Do you keep videos or delete them once you're done giffing? I keep them unless I need the space. I'm pretty lazy like that hahaha

47. Any advice for novice gif makers/people who want to start making gifs? Gif tutorials are your friend. I'm mostly self-taught but whenever I get really stuck, I search for gif tutorials. They are incredibly helpful.

That... was a lot of questions and I had to google prime numbers like a chump because I could only remember prime numbers up to 20 lmao

[dirtyoldmanhole]

@/damoselcastel was kind enough to show me a bunch of the FE:Fates visual works artbook pages the other day!

and because i am continuing to be .... brain rotted (lol) ... grabbed a copy since there was more than a few relevant pages/official artworks, and wanted to have a high res/color corrected version of these pages for art refs to slap on my reference boards! if i'm looking at them every day now for the past three months they better be accurate!!!

anyway! it came TODAY!!! :D :D pakidge

IT WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO COME UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH AAAAA

god dang this thing is THICK, now this is what i call a proper artbook! a little hard to see here but you can see by both the front and the spine that it's a chonker -- the two tellius artbooks combined are thicker but they're also a bit smaller elsewhere.

rest is under the cut b/c it's me promptly going feral :P

(and seeing who's on the spine ahhh!!! honestly that's really cool and super appropriate given his subtle plot/character relevance?! super fucking cool to keep seeing nintendo nod at him in symbolically relevant places, but not too overtly )

SPEAKING OF I SHIT YOU NOT GUESS WHICH SPREAD THIS THING FELL TO FIRST

I SHIT

YOU

NOT--

stone cold, swear to you, straight up didn't intend that but this was literally me irl then:

:')))))))))

(also HE GETS A WHOLE SPREAD???? and a turnaround?!!!!!! even freaking corrin's nohr noble design gets like an EIGHTH of the page

gunter gets treated SO WELL in this artbook i'm on the floor trying not to sob like i'm sixteen again and begging for any zihark scraps

also this is so much more high res than what's on my reference board the nitpicky artist in me is literally crying for joy about FINALLY HAVING A HIGH RES REFERENCEEEEEEEEEEE

also what the fuck the architecture is so cool???????????

THE WORLDBUILDING I AM WILDING

for real tho i remember my first conquest playthrough my jaw was on the FLOOR being genuinely amazed at how cool the worldbuilding was especially on the nohrian side with the gothic vibe and y'all don't know how useful this is going to be to replicate nohrian motifs in all of my drawings/probable comics/doujinshi/etc.

[foams at mouth]

this artbook also covers EVERYTHING

like there's a healthy amount of character work , but there's also enemy designs (always thought fate's enemy designs were unusually kickass, like some of these folks could be outright characters themselves), the architecture stuff above....

my room lines....

OH MY GOD THIS MEANS I HAVE A THIRD SET OF TRANSLATIONS I CAN CROSS REFERENCE TO FUCK YES

sorry for shitty blurriness it's just me vibrating in excitement lmao i'll upload it in the high res chunk

.....

hellooooo sir~~~~

(you knew i was going to be posting that shot >:D )

his possession CGI gets a full fucking page too ajlsjsjkskjhhjshjg

HE GETS TREATED SO GOOD HERE Y'ALL, SO MANY FULL PAGES???????????? is this what it's like to be brain rotted over a major character i will never know the feeling lul

(there's actually at least two other gunter fullbody artworks in here, those have already been scanned/uploaded properly by others so i won't post 'em here unless y'all want em!

and then lastly!

to finish it off, god this cover progress is so cool, kozaki knows what he's doing.

and i'm pretty sure gunter's linework gets changed halfway through, his expression's somewhat different than on the final! and i'll be posting that along with the other high res/cleaned up scans! just need to figure out if my scanner's gonna do a better job than my phone or vice versa.

[tries to stay composed] [fails]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[weebsinstash]

U HAVE BEEN HOLDIN OUT ON VOX AND VAL FICS SINCE 2021???????!!????!?? 😭😭

Vox and Val concepts, but lmao yeah 🤣 although if you want me to be blunt anything with Vox in it was saved real short. the tricky thing is like, for one I actually haven't done any "research" on Vox like for Val so I don't have a good grip on his personality besides "cocky smug little shit who has a soft spot for his friends/shark and is kind of a dweeb who wears like Hawaiian shirts and a baseball cap on dates with his boyfriend"

Tbh there's a LOT of drafts for Val but not much for Vox, however there is that one idea I actually drew fanart for and posted about where "Reader meets Val and Vox by chance in a club, they develop a rapport, keep bumping into each other in public, the duo eventually finds out you're dating Alastor (and not entirely happy about it) and steals you away".

Tbh I really like the idea of Reader hanging out with Val and Vox like a dozen times and you idly mention your boyfriend now and then and they're on the downlow about being jealous as fuck and wanting to know who the bastard is.

"Oh yeah sorry I missed you guys the other night, I had a date with my boyfriend, he wanted to go to the theater"

"Ugh, gosh I'd drink if I could but my boyfriend is mad I keep coming home hung over"

"Ha, yeah, my boyfriend hates this stuff, I can't bring this back home if I wanted to"

Eventually one night the two Overlords bump into you after youve been lowkey ghosting them and you seem really quiet and stressed out and drinking a lot and say Vox says something like "what, your shit boyfriend want you home early again tonight?"

"Fiance"

"...What?"

"Fiance. He wants to get married, um, as soon as possible"

Vox and Valentino just gritting their teeth as you start listing some of the more personal details you never let loose before. You don't have a TV at home or any electronic devices besides your phone because 'he absolutely hates technology and has some weird hatred of monitors'. He doesn't like you drinking to get drunk and he bans anything more "recreational" than liquor which is why you're always bumming/buying weed off of Vox.

And I imagine at some point in the conversation you finally slip up. "I mean I know all relationships have difficulties but Alastor just-"

"The fuck you mean, 'Alastor'? The RADIO DEMON 'Alastor'? You're dating HIM?" And its obvious you were keeping it a secret because you wanted your new friends to like you and you're tearing up the second they're showing any signs of anger (even though it's at Al, not you) and I imagine they say some bullshit like "well hey if he won't let you party anymore, let's make tonight one big celebration, just one last time" segue into them pushing drinks and drugs at you until you either pass out or get roofied and, boom youre waking up in a room you dont recognize. Like, I imagine waking up in their bed, your eyes pop open and you turn and see one of them and jerk back, not realizing you're between both of them so you basically bump into the other, and the one you bump into is very loud and obnoxious, "what the fuck Val, what's your fucking--" and then both of them are waking up and you're checking your phone and you have countless missed calls and texts from Alastor and he HATES using anything other than a rotary phone so you KNOW he's furious

for some reason you have all these phone notifications for Voxtagram/Sinstagram/whatever they've named it now and you open it and. Oh no what did they do. Both Vox and Val had posted pictures online, ones of them and YOU, different kinds of photos. You three throwing drinks back, you and Vox shoulder to shoulder on your phones, you looking absolutely flustered beyond belief as Valentino seems to be saying something to you with the biggest most flirtatious smirk on his face, with some of the last photos including, oh god, both of them had uploaded different versions of making it EXTREMELY obvious they took you home for some fun. I can see Valentino blatantly fucking uploading a picture of like, he's got Vox on one side, you on the other, both of you passed out and here's Val "best way to end a night is to fuck the hos to sleep 🍆💦😴 #bejealous #pimplife #allnightfuckmarathon" and properly just straight up tags your profile too.

You're just frantic, "OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO AL'S GOING TO KILL ME" and rushing to put your clothes back on and both of them are either like "you're going back to him????" And are angry, OR, act suspiciously unfazed, almost as if they know for an absolute fact that you won't be able to go anywhere...

[keeponquinning]

gotta get ready for work which UGH but i did manage 10 para breaks of Yes, Professor, Part Two so, here's a sneak peek. I have things planned, but here's a snippet and I...am gonna try and keep this as the only sneak peek lmao comment if you wanna be tagged when it's done and posted.

You made him feel like a fucking teenager sometimes.

He wonders if you even knew, though probably not. The phone call replaying in his head, almost lulling him to sleep last night. The voice note of him being a damn feral beast as he stroked his cock, imagining it was you stroking him, the filth he had let out was something he knew he could trust you with. There was no apprehension on his part, he could be as filthy as he wanted with you. And you wouldn't judge him for it. Be shocked at every filthy word, at every sinful desire, since your first night together, you were right there with him. Giving as good as you got. He fucking loved that.

Joseph really fucking loved you.

Perhaps it was too soon to say it, or not soon enough. Granted, when he said it, the words were a slip of the tongue, yet with them hanging in the air, it felt so right, and his joy was immeasurable when you returned the words just as genuinely as he did. He reasoned that's why this week long separation was harder this time around, you both had shared the words, but not quite the act, outside of a lingering kiss before the cab took you to the airport then. He was eager to have you in his arms, to whisper the words again, to feel you wrapped around his cock and have you squeeze around him as he said the words to your ear. Not the most romantic of sentiments to some, but he knew in his gut it was to you, as well as himself. He really wanted to see you again.

Which was why he was driving himself crazy, picking up his mobile and checking the....well, not empty screen. There were always some form of notification, some alert, something...but nothing from you. Which, yes, he knew most likely you were just tired. You were taking the red eye flight, in an attempt to get to him sooner, which he thought was...really sweet. He would joke about being needy, but it was nice to know you were as well. Perhaps fueling his ego, stroking it a bit, made him love you a bit more. But, it would explain the lack of communication. You were probably still in the air, perhaps asleep.

Didn't stop him from going into his messages with you, though. Lips twitching lightly at the last texts you sent him after he sent the filthiest voice note he ever made to date.

I couldn't listen to this until I was getting ready for the airport and had to have a shower. I might have called the shower head Joseph a few times. Don't be jealous, still made me want the real thing. Not long now x.

It made him smile, no matter how many times he read it. Which was quite a lot. Closing out of it, he stood within his bedroom, hair wet, towel wrapped around his waist, looking over your Instagram. A video of your introduction to the band was uploaded, as well as some pictures in that damn burgundy dress, with your friends, some seemed you took yourself, some by others — Jen, probably — and it seemed you did have a good time. He was glad of that, of course he was, though it stung, not being able to be there with you. To have a drink, to hold you in his arms, even an arm around your waist and keep you close. Sneak a kiss any place he could manage... God, just to hear you laugh. He liked a picture, the one of you laughing, hoping his publicist or anyone on his team wouldn't shoot a message at him, asking him why. They knew, they fucking knew.

Joe really hoped he could go out and about with you, have it official in the eye of the public. Oh, it was fun at first, having a little secret that only a few people knew, sneaking together with you. But... It was starting to wear thin for him, he couldn't imagine what it was like for you. At the start it was fine, casual, that seemed the easy route. Though if he had the choice, he wouldn't even see anyone else after he met you. But he didn't want to rush it, wanted to get to know you, outside of tangled sheets. The more he spent with you, the more fucked he was. Maybe soon... Maybe sooner than you both anticipated. Fuck, he hoped so.

A hardcover of your latest book was on the bed, his brown eyes catching sight of it, locking his mobile. A smile slowly spread across his lips as he opened where he had left off. While it was true, he'd been the first to read it, in parts. The one to push you to do at least five pages a day, ten at the most, he honestly got hooked to your writing. Almost greedy for them, and actually put out if you didn't manage it on some days, though he was understanding of it. He couldn't do it, sit down and type and world build and just — He was honestly amazed that you could and on most days with ease. He's gotten used to hearing your writing music, the playlist you'd sometimes use, echoing past the door of the room you took refuge in because anywhere else would distract you. It had meant something to him that you found a place in his home that let you relax enough to create. Gave him ideas, ideas that... Well, it was too soon to think of ideas like that.

[cookinguptales]

So I went to Philly's Flower Show yesterday! It was exciting to see it finally come back to the convention center this year; obviously I'm glad they had it outside for a few years, but that did make it so I couldn't attend in the heat.

This year it was back indoors and I celebrated by going to the Flowers After Hours party too. :o

Anyway, I took like a hundred photos but tumblr will only let me upload 30. Either way, they're under a cut!

The first thing I did when I got there was hit the flower crown station. These are always fun to make here, and this year they had real flowers and wire, not just fake ones and a glue gun. I... may have spent too much time on my crown. lmao

So before I played arts and crafts for an hour... and after:

Bats are my favorite pollinator, though bees are very close. :')

Then it was time to enter the flower festival proper! The entrance was so pretty. I wish I could have quite gotten how trippy the lights were in there. They were constantly changing because this year's theme was The Garden Electric! Lots of interesting lights, which was especially fun at the party that evening.

(I forgot to take in the dress at the waist before I left but that's okay, it's still cute. lmao)

Had a lot of fun wandering around looking at all the prize-winning plants. There were hundreds and hundreds so I had to pare these down a lot lmao.

And then all of the art and arrangements! Again, there are just. So many of these. Jewelry, pressed flowers, arrangements, miniatures, huge dioramas, etc. But 30 images. So.

Look at the dresses this year! Some of them were so pretty.

I die!!

And the pressed flowers! Look at what the children made! ;o;

And the adult pieces were lovely as well

The little miniature rooms are always my favorite, though. The winner this year was a little herbalist cottage from Edinburgh in 1661 and when I tell you this bitch was vibrating thinking about Sleep No More. lmao. But there was also a Mexican market, an Italian street, a Japanese tea house, a Monet-inspired garden scene... Just gorgeous all around.

Some of the flower arrangements were really fun this year because they got into the electric theme.

And I always love the plant arranging categories that are like "...oh, I guess that's a thing" like "best doorway" lmao.

Most of the big exhibits had suuuuper long lines, so I waited until the party to see them when there'd be fewer people.

So then once the lights went out... I changed into my Party Noir look to match the party's dress code!

(I....... forgot my black mask at home, leave me alone.)

And oh mannnn the big displays were so nice this year.

Only the tip of the iceberg tbh but image limit!!

Had a lot of fun walking around in the indoor gardens, too!

The party itself was fun, if maybe not something I'd do again. Lots of alcohol to sample and some very loud music, but the big group of people wasn't super easy to get around in using my chair and I kind of got a headache from it all.

BUT there was also some fun entertainment (like fire juggling AWAY FROM THE PLANTS, burlesque-esque dancing, contortionists, etc.) and it was nice to get a chance to get closer to some of the big displays while other people were getting selfies with some of the selfie-bait sections of the show. lmao

(I got some, too!! I was not immune to the trippy flower backgrounds. But 30 images!)

ALSO THE BEE PEOPLE CAME OUT AND THEY BROUGHT BEES

Like an hour and a half into the party I came back to the bee people and was like "MAY I SEE THE BEE AGAIN" and when they pulled him out of his little habitat and let him crawl on their hands (it's a mason bee, they don't sting) I was like "I'M SORRY I'M TOO TIPSY TO HAVE ANY CHILL ABOUT THIS" but they laughed so it was okay.

ALL IN ALL, I had a really good time! I bought too much honey and balsamic vinegar! I ache today, but I guess I earned it!

yay, love the flower show. 💜🌱🐝🦇

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 2: Man On The Moon

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

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master list / ao3 chapter link

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warnings: lotta swearing and usual heavy pstd bucky stuff. also!! im giving sam's story a little bit of author bias/culture venting. this wont read like canon FATWS sam, though i am trying to honor their show where i dont hate it. i love sam's journey to cap, even if ken doll was nauseating (whats funny is i didnt know his actor's name is wyatt until halfway through THIS chapter when i googled something. oh well lmao im sure he's a perfectly nice dude. the wyatt in this fic is My Baby) plus the trump era commentary was completely toothless imo. and the fact that james buchanan barnes acknowledged in episODE T H R E E of the series that he'd take the shield before letting it fall???? even through all his self-hatred?????? get the fuck out of here that desTROYED ME i hate this fictional man with a passion

song: this one's by kid cudi!! 🥰

its time for the l o n g i n g to start ❤️ grab tissues!! first biggie angst so i had to put it behind our resident teddy bear's pov 🥺 you KNOOOOW i had to finish up this update in time for stevie’s birthday 🥰

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October 3rd, 2015

Samuel Wilson was not disillusioned when he walked into his first recruitment office. There were no patriotic stars in his eyes, no lotto number clutched painfully between nervous fingers to drive his feet up to that kiosk. He wasn’t foaming at the mouth to earn career-establishing stripes in a timely fashion. All he had to his name was a high school diploma and twenty-three bucks in his pocket. He didn’t have any big dreams for the desert rocks to tear a hole through. 

Sam was a kid back then. One who wanted to build a life, and the GI Bill offered to make that happen. A solid, steady income with the vision of a college education somewhere on the horizon. Not a lot of other options for someone like him, no matter which familiar corner of the country he looked at.

It took a long time and the right partner for the Air Force to talk him out of his combat objections once the ANG got wind of him. He turned the experimental program down flat twice; Pararescue was his focus for a reason. They had to bribe him with cutting-edge tech and the authority to refuse an assignment just to get him to agree to a first flight. The words never found their way onto an official record, at least none he knows of, but Sam had relentlessly insisted that he wouldn’t be volunteering as the next Indianapolis. Getting pushback on that assertion was when the anger first set in. The first crack in the armor of his career.

There were a lot of better angels within the service; it took most of them to get him home, tape-free, after Riley’s death. By the end of it all, it felt like every last one of them was outnumbered fifty to one. Nothing felt right anymore, including the idea of leaving the family he found in the sand to fend for themselves. The only thing that felt survivable after the world finally stopped tilting was dedicating himself to the VA.

Living for the memory of the ones he lost helped him find other reasons to want to be a person again. From there, it was mostly helping other people find reasons of their own that drove him forward.

It’s why he’s willing to delve into some shithole facility in the middle of nowhere Russia for a guy like Steve Rogers. And, on some levels, he supposes, if he absolutely has to, for a guy like Bucky Barnes. Even if he is the grouchiest motherfucker on the face of the Earth.

The lumbering moron hasn’t said a word all morning, no matter what small talk Steve tries to open with. And he’s tried everything, ever since they landed. Sam’s responded to a few of the openings himself just to try to fill the silence. He hopes it’s helping. It’s been hard to get a detailed read on the other push-pop’s triggers so far. Steve hasn’t signaled for him to stop, so.

“Cryo is through here,” Bucky rumbles under his breath. They’re the first words he’s spoken since the Quinjet.

“How many should we be expecting?” Steve asks almost as quietly.

“How many people am I asking you to put a bullet through, you mean.”

Steve stops halfway through the door Bucky’s directed them to. “We haven’t decided if that’s what we’re going to—”

“Maybe you haven’t decided. I’ll do it if you won’t.” The former sergeant doesn’t turn around. He keeps walking, getting closer to the stocky metal pods.

Sam already hates this. He already hates this a whole fucking lot. Captain America coming to him with a request to take the headcase to Russia was always going to get weird; he knew that. But he’s been very clear on what he’s down for, and now they’re in murder and war crime weird. He’d like to start slowing down the crazy train—

Steve holds up his hand. “Bucky, listen, it doesn’t have to—”

“Fuck off. You have no idea what it’s like to sit in this hell. You two can wait outside if you’re so uncomfortable. I’ve got it from here.”

Mmm. That’s the voice of a guilt-ridden survivor. Sam recognizes it well. At least it’s giving him a bead on where today’s drive is coming from. “You mean the hell we pulled you from?”

Steve’s head whips around, with righteous, territorial anger in his eyes. “You’re right, Buck; we don’t. But—”

“But you don’t know what they want,” Sam forcefully finishes, staring back at Steve. He banks on the fact that, technically, they’re not really disagreeing. Steve’s trying to back him down, too, in his own way. “Taking away their chance at the same new life you’re getting isn’t—”

Bucky’s cybernetic fist comes crashing down on one of the corroded desks, making the rusted metal whine in protest, deforming to the shape of his fingers. “You two don’t fucking get it.” He turns, angrily tugging his hand back to his side. The assassin doesn’t advance, but his posture is more than ready for it as he glares at them with pure contempt. “You think you’re going to find people in those tanks—humans, with hearts and minds and hopes and dreams. There might as well be skeletons getting freezer-burned in those goddamn caskets because that’s the only salvageable thing you’ll find. You fucking—”

He laughs, the sound empty, and turns back around to send his fist into the side of the table, knocking it across the room. He doesn’t face them again. “You fuckers! You take a fucking look at me. Take a good, long look. I am half alive. I had a radiation-free knockoff keeping me upright through their bullshit. You wanna know what they had? Something that might as well have been piss mixed in some fucking snow. Worthless trash those Nazi bastards bottled up and stuck in a needle.”

“Bucky—” Steve tries to calm his best friend as the man’s voice breaks. Sam could tell him from first-hand experience how well that’s going to go over.

There was a lot of screaming in that desert. A lot of grief disguised as anger. A lot of old ideals leaving newly-shattered men one seething tear at a time.

“They were zombies by the time HYDRA was done injecting them. Do you get that? Are you two grasping the concept? They were rabid dogs I trained to respond to whistles. Rotting corpses that I taught how to aim. And that was before their brains shorted out on them. I looked into every single one of their eyes. I saw what looked back. Fuck species—what was in there was not fucking alive. Fuck you—fuck you so fucking much for even fucking suggesting I should leave them like that—like animated fucking cadavers—hooked up to some fucking machine just to breathe—”

“James.”

Bucky’s flood of words finally cuts off, and Sam isn’t sure if it’s because of the use of his first name or the way he swallows as if he’s choking. His flesh hand comes down on the back of the chair that started out tucked under the table. It keeps the guy upright while he pulls in a few breaths that look painful, even through the curtain of dark brown hair.

“Let’s see what’s what first,” Sam suggests as diplomatically as he can manage. He doesn’t take a step forward, mostly because he doesn’t see Steve take one. “Then we go from there.”

“You’re going to hate what you see.” Bucky scoffs bitterly. “You think you know, but you don’t. You’re going to hate me for bringing you here. For the rest of your lives.”

Steve moves forward, finally, but he stays a few feet to Bucky’s seven o���clock. “I’m not dumb enough to make you any promises about not hating what I see here. I haven’t even looked in one, and I already know you’re right on the money when it comes to that. But I can promise that you’ll always be wrong about me hating you for any of this.”

“So can I,” Sam assures. There’s not a doubt in his mind now that he understands where they’re at.

—

Bucky’s up at 0500. 

He hasn’t slept a minute later than that since the first night his body adjusted to New York’s timezone, no matter what hour he falls asleep. He doesn’t attempt more than upright power naps on away missions. They’re the only thing that gets him any rest outside of his room in the tower. 

It’s the same every morning. First, he works on his back, popping away the stiffness one awkward bend of his limbs at a time. From there, the extra thick comforter gets picked up off the floor, then the blanket and the lopsided pillow. They always get tossed on top of the bed he’s never used. Except on Saturdays, when he does his laundry. That’s when they get put in a basket to be taken to Natasha’s room. She won’t let him have his own washing machine until he starts using the bed.

So, every Saturday, he shows up with his little pile at 0800 because Natasha won’t unlock the door until then. A pillowcase. A blanket and matching comforter. Two shirts, usually henleys, five black tanks, and two different tactical pants. One pair of gloves. His singular monkey suit gets taken to the cleaners whenever he’s forced to wear it, which thankfully isn’t often.

His dress uniform hasn’t come out of the box Steve dropped it off in after getting it pulled from the goddamn Smithsonian. Bucky hasn’t laid eyes on it since 1943.

While he’s working his hair up into a serviceable bun, he thinks about Natasha’s recommendation to start braiding it before he sleeps. He doesn’t like the idea of something that tight sitting against his head, especially at night. Maybe if he lets his hair grow out a little more. He wants to keep the shoulder length it’s at now, though. It looks good on him. He wants to know what asking someone to pull on it feels like. Eventually. 

Online dating has been… overwhelming, to say the least.

He’s reaching for the medkit in the drawer under his bathroom sink when the mental image of Ava creeps in. He isn’t trying to blow off the hippie’s orders. Honestly, the thought of their deal hadn’t crossed his mind until he got to this part of his day. Resisting the urge yesterday had been difficult. He knew ahead of time that today was going to be much worse. It means pushing through a repeated break in his pattern.

That voice, the one that insists he should tell Steve to fuck off much more, rears its head. His flesh hand twitches with the reflex to finish his usual routine. To show up late to her office with some blase excuse about doing it out of habit. He could sell the lie without even trying. Entire countries have fallen thanks to his expertise with it. She wouldn’t have a shot in hell at knowing the difference.

He could work his way out of this with ease. Steve already feels guilty about making him pull a hard stop during his first visit, even if he won’t say the words. It’s the perfect opening to establish a line and push it away to give himself some room, one step at a time.

With a decisive flick of his wrist, Bucky shuts the drawer holding his medkit. For the second time since he was allowed to travel without a handler, he walks away from his morning routine without treating the cybernetics on the back of his neck.

It makes his skin feel wrong—off, unsettled—as he gets his standard gear on. He’s still grounded, thanks to Steve, so it’s the version he’s got closest to fatigues. He hopes the doctor doesn’t mind rolling down a polyester turtleneck to get at his brain port. He almost skips going to the gym for his workout, but that would worsen the off feeling. And he’d have to sit around with nothing to do for hours waiting for their first scheduled maintenance. 

He slides his phone into his back pocket, intent on heading to his standard morning haunt. A few hours of going through his paces in the gym will help his nerves. When his mind offers up the suggestion that a workout before seeing the cute doctor could be—advantageous, he tries not to linger in it. 

The idea certainly doesn’t make him feel bad. It’s even sort of... motivating in its own way. It... contributes to his reasons for doing a few extra sets on the bench. And adding a quick rock wall climb. There are others, of course. Being chained to the tower like a toddler in timeout because his best friend is an asshole is certainly one of them. He tacks on more time at the reinforced, Super-Soldier-proof punching bag to ease that particular frustration.

Even with the additions to his cardio, he’s still got an hour to kill before their appointment. He fills it by heading for the roof of the tower. It’s not even 0900, so no one but a few graveyard stragglers are out in the open space. SHIELD agents like him that are married to the job, catching a glimpse of the sun and a few puffs of nicotine before going to crash. Bucky stops to help one of them struggling with her lighter, offering up his spare Bic. The other agent smiles at him in tired appreciation before hovering the end of her cigarette over the flame. He counts it as contributing to his social life. He’ll figure out how to phrase it to get his therapist off his ass later. 

The brain trust’s space is, unsurprisingly, effortless to find. Ava wasn’t kidding; it’s actually tucked away in one corner of the roof, hidden along the wall that extends up to the tower’s executive launch bay. Bucky had expected them to claim a spot overlooking the Avenger’s balcony. Then again, he’s heard she’s pretty close friends with Tony, so maybe he shouldn’t have. She probably knows better by now. 

There’s another collection of gargantuan chairs, this time made out of wicker and upholstery that feels soft when he runs his fingers over it. A tapestry rivaling the paint swatches at Steve’s supply store is mounted to the wall behind them. Two poles hold it at the opposite corners, keeping it blowing slightly in the wind as it hangs over the collected seating. The coffee table in the middle has a lockbox sitting on it, with SHEILDs insignia embossed on the lid. 

He’s got level seven clearance these days. He could still easily get through that lock, even if he didn’t. It’s going to drive him batshit, not knowing what’s in it before she takes him up here herself. 

Bucky turns around and gets halfway back to the door to the stairwell before the buzzing in his neck builds too much for comfort. He grinds his teeth through the sensation. He even manages to force himself another few steps forward. But, ultimately, the buzzing wins out, and he spins again with a vicious curse. 

The confirmation chime of his clearance override feels too loud, even out here in the open. The top of the lockbox rolls back, revealing a set of playing cards, a jumbled collection of stress toys, a SHEILD standard medkit, and some candles. He almost leaves without checking the medkit. He’s so close to being able to stomach the idea. 

Almost. 

There’s nothing sinister to be found in it once it’s open. It’s stock issue. Not one of the item counts is off, but the lot numbers don’t match, meaning she maintains it regularly. Knowing that information feels invasive, despite being convinced she wouldn’t mind how he got it.

This. Isn’t. Siberia. Ava Ryder is not going to put a gun in his hand. She is not a risk to him. 

Bucky leaves the roof, headed for her lab. He’s going to tell her he went snooping. He can do that, at least—a bare minimum level of respect to offer her. 

She’s not in her office when he gets through the painted door at 0857. Only one of the doctors is behind the glass today. It’s the other woman—the American-born German. Hannah. Her head is down, focused on a tablet under her hands, with wireless earbuds peaking out from her dirty blonde hair. A hologram of a brain Bucky doesn’t recognize is running next to her. It’s not his; there’s no spider webbing. One of their other patients then. 

He takes a seat in the same chair he used during his last visit. “JARVIS?”

“Good morning, Sergeant Barnes,” the AI responds with nothing but tranquility. “Something you need?”

“Can you tell the doc I’m ready when she is?”

“Of course. Dr. Ryder has not yet entered the building. I’ll let her know you’ve arrived.”

Bucky frowns. “Ah—cancel that. Is she—“ Don’t ask him to track her, you dumbfuck. That’s weird. “Never mind. I’ll wait.”

This is New York. He’s not even sure what part of the city she lives in. For all he knows, she could be stuck in a cab uptown. He can pull the stick out of his ass long enough to give her room to be human. 

He sits there in silence, sunken into pillows with his leg bouncing rapidly, and talks himself up in his head. He’s not uncomfortable. He’s not going to bullshit his way out of this. This is good; it’s going to help him. Bucky is happy about that. It’s a relief to be facing this after a lifetime of running. 

By 0901, he wants to leave. The urge is nearly overwhelming. He makes it to 0904 before he stands up. It takes until 0906 to convince himself to sit back down. 

“I have an incoming message from Dr. Ryder if you wish to hear it, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS tells him eleven minutes after the appointment was supposed to start. 

Thank god. “Play it.”

“Morning, JAR!” Her voice is muffled in the recording. She’s got something in her mouth. She’s also in the most broken-down piece of shit in the city by the sounds of it, so not a cab. The subway, maybe? It should be a lot louder than that. “Tell Bucky I’m about fifteen minutes behind and that I’m very sorry. Oh—and tell him to pick the candle!”

His eyebrows lift in confused surprise. “I’m picking a candle?”

“Choosing a candle to burn is part of the daily routine of lab 5923. Dr. Ryder and I usually decide on one, but the option is left open for patients. You will find a box behind her desk; there is a wide array to select from.”

“You pick it together?” Bucky prods, the corner of his lips twitching as he gets back up to check for said box. 

“She enjoys having someone to banter with about them. Dr. Schuster doesn’t usually have anything to contribute to the topic. Dr. Combs only has so many opinions on the matter. He is not overly particular about the olfactory state of the lab.”

“Is Ava?” It’s getting easier to refer to her by her first name alone. It helps that it’s made her smile the handful of times he’s done it. 

“Not especially. I would call her enthusiastic. She finds the options comforting, and there are very few that she doesn’t enjoy.”

“No kidding,” Bucky mutters as he pulls open the top of a very large box. He smelled the thing long before he picked it up, and looking at what’s inside confirms everything the AI’s telling him. There are dozens of them in here, and most of them are unburned. Various shapes and gimmicky scent names stare back at him. Not a lot of Bath & Bodyworks, he’s noticing. 

The hippie is a small business aficionado. How utterly shocking. 

He pushes around the amassed jars for a few minutes. His mind files away a few options he wants to try for later if they don’t get used up on the days he won’t be here. Definitely before he finishes talking her out of demanding these appointments. He picks up one that claims to smell like cranberries and peppermint for a test sniff. 

Thanks to the combination, the barest hint of the ghost of a memory comes over him. One that whispers the name of his mother. This happens sometimes. A fragment that’s still hanging on by a thread will float by. They never have much context, not anything he can typically extrapolate on, infuriatingly enough. Just his mind taunting him that something should be there, but it isn’t. 

He picks that candle, and it doesn’t make him sad as he lights it. None of his pieced-together memories of the life he never got to finish do anymore. He takes them in stride and tries to enjoy what he can. 

That’s what Ma would have wanted.

—

Ava hip-checks the door to her office somewhere around 9:30. 

This is already shaping up to be a terrible second impression. All that grief she gave Bucky about leaving things in her capable hands, and now here she is, showing up late and half-showered to the appointment that’s supposed to finish acclimating him. 

“I am so sorry,” she rushes out, dumping her bag on the closest available surface. It ends up being one of the novelty end tables tucked between the consultation chairs. At least she finally took the one shaped like a leg home. “I completely overslept, and then I wanted to grab you something from my favorite bagel place—do you want one, by the way?” She waves a finger at her bag, then at Bucky, who watches her as she walks and talks her way to her desk. “They’re in that side pouch, the ones that have cream cheese are wrapped up separately. I didn’t know if you were a plain butter kind of New Yorker. Anyways, there was this mouth-breathing dickhead who—” 

She stops and takes a deep breath in when her over-taxed mind finally registers the smell around her. 

“Good morning,” he says from the chairs, amusement coloring his tone. 

She spins on her heel, her glasses jostling with the motion, chuckling softly. “Good morning, Sergeant. Sorry. This is what happens when you talk to me before the coffee finishes evening out in my bloodstream. Fantastic choice, by the way. What is that? It’s peppermint—something.”

“Peppermint and cranberries.” His lips pull up into a half-smile that absolutely sells her on the idea of him being a serial heartstopper in the 30s. “Advertised in what looked like a mushroom cloud.”

Ava’s chuckling turns into an outright bark of laughter as she pulls her work tablet from behind her keyboard. “Yeah. That sounds about right. One of the candle makers I buy from is an anarchist working out of a garage. Great stuff, even if you do have to listen to the most ass backwards view of free trade to get the guy to send you his stock. Good morning to you, too, JARVIS, now that I’m not babbling around a mouthful of food.”

“No need to worry; I’ve become very fluent in your language of scarfing,” JARVIS assures. 

“My mother would keel over if she heard you say that.” Ava waddles over to her latest patient, tablet in one hand and medkit in the other. She puts the kit down on the arm of his chair, in the same spot she put the scanner case last time. He looks much less nervous now, and she gives him a warm smile to encourage that. “I know you don’t want me talking your ear off, and the breakfast offer can wait until we’re done, so let’s get down to this.”

Bucky’s mouth opens. There’s a moment of hesitation before he says anything. She doesn’t try to rush him through it. “What’s the plan, doc?”

“Paige won’t be back from the field until later today at the earliest, so I don’t have anything new for you to test. I passed along your request for the field kit dimensions. She says making something that portable shouldn’t be a problem.” Ava taps on the black sleeve of his shirt. “How comfortable are you with the idea of using nanotech?”

“As in the tiny robots Tony’s always testing?”

“Mhmm.”

“For what? My neck?” He raises his hand to the general area of the port, and she hears him scratching at the fabric over it. “I don’t think it’s—I thought this kind of opening couldn’t be—”

“I don’t mean for closing it off,” she corrects quickly, wanting to avoid a misunderstanding that might get his hopes up. “I want to program a batch specifically for daily care of your implants. The port and your shoulder. Something you can keep in safe housing for use in the field. Now—I want to make sure you understand something upfront. This won’t change my professional opinion; you need to have a specialist looking at this on an extremely frequent basis. However, I would prefer it if you had the nanotech as a safety net. The more of this that we can automate for you, the better.”

“I can agree to that. I’m guessing the bug bots don’t come with a manual.”

Ava moves behind him, mostly to hide how the grumpy old man routine is making her grin from ear to ear. “They usually don’t need one. I’ll be making you a checklist to go over if that makes you feel better.”

“You don’t—that’s—” He hesitates again, making her stop before she can make contact with his neck. “You don’t have to keep... doing stuff. Like that. I’m alright with trusting the bug bots.”

Another piece of Ava Ryder’s heart breaks for Bucky Barnes. “That's great to hear. But, just so you know, I’m going to hand you a checklist anyways.”

“Alright.” His head barely nods; she’s guessing because he can feel her fingers hovering. The evaluations of his senses were so off the charts it set a new testing standard for SHIELD. “That’s—appreciated.”

“You don’t have to worry so much about the manners.” Pressing down with a disinfectant, she circles her thumb around the port, wanting to get it done before moving to his shoulder. That’s going to need a shirt removal. She leans down and shifts to a conspiratorial whisper. “I’m not reporting them back to Steve.”

“Don’t worry; my work wife will come to weasel it out of you or JARVIS all on his own.”

Ava giggles quietly, her eyes honed in on clearing the excess buildup. “You’re not having fun being married to Captain America?”

“Oodles,” he deadpans, making her giggles worsen.

She gives him a break from the small talk while she finishes working on his neck. At some point, she’ll need to put together a specialized blend for loosening up the scar tissue; the skin around it is dried to hell and back from years of sterile wipes. She doubts comfort has been much of a concern, and she’s not about to recommend putting generic lotion over it, but this is ridiculous. There’s no reason for him to live with pain like that.

“I don’t suppose a man from the 30s is going to appreciate being given a moisturizing routine.”

“Nat’s going to be thrilled.”

“She’s your work husband, I’m guessing?”

“She likes to act like it.” Bucky turns his head to glance back for a split second just as she leans forward to swap out for an ointment. The way his head jerks back into place lets her know he got an eyeful of cleavage on the journey. It perfectly mirrors how his eyes snapped up from her chest when he first walked in. She’s not exactly embarrassed about it, but she does feel bad watching him shift around nervously. “But I’m not dumb enough to argue. About that. With her.”

The awkward charm is starting to make her cheeks hurt. “Sounds like a reasonable choice. I hear arguing with Russian women isn’t a smart idea in general.”

“Not if you want to keep your limbs attached.”

“Is it too early for me to start asking for state secrets? Like, say, if the Winter Soldier happened to get his ass handed to him by a former commie?”

“I’m pretty sure she was still a commie the first time.”

“The first time?” Ava asks with excited delight, her hand pausing on his shoulder.

“There were a few run-ins. She’ll remember more of them.” Bucky grimaces with annoyance. “Worse, she’ll be willing to tell them to you.”

“Would you be willing to let me hear them?” she goads.

His shoulders lift with a strained sigh. “Sure, let’s call it willing.”

“You’ll have to remind me if I’m lucky enough to meet her.” She drums her finger on his mechanical shoulder. “Gonna need you to take this shirt off, superstar.”

“Off? Wait, what did you just—” Bucky shakes his head with a quiet huff of laughter. “I’ve got the arm covered.”

“I know, that’s the problem.”

“Alright, smartass. You know damn well what I meant. I took care of it before I came here; it wasn’t part of our deal.”

“Does gross puss leak out of it?”

She can see his eyes roll, even with his head only partially turned. “You know it does.”

“And is it attached to your brain?”

“Ava—really, I’ve got this.” His head turns all the way, and the smile comes back, in full force this time, and oh. Oh, she can absolutely believe that he broke half the hearts in Brooklyn during his reign of terror.

She leans down into his space, letting her arms rest on the back of his chair. “You know what I’ve got?”

His lips purse in resigned amusement. “Multiple medical degrees?”

“You betcha. They were stupid hard to earn, too, so I’d appreciate it if you could start taking that into account.”

“I’m not trying to dismiss them—”

“Just the expertise that they gave me.” When his smile turns guilty, she shifts her weight as naturally as she can to push her chest against her arms in compensation. She doesn’t miss the way he blinks a split second later. Such a gentleman. It almost makes her feel bad. “I don’t mind you arguing the point of your independence. I’m glad for it, Bucky. It tells me that you really want this to work. I hope you can start trusting that when I suggest against it, I’m doing it with your health in mind. Nothing more. You can tell me what you’re comfortable with from there.”

He stares at her like he’s in pain. For an almost uncomfortably long time. “I broke into your lockbox.”

Ava blinks at the sudden shift. “Okay. Wait—my what? Are you talking about the candle box? That doesn’t even have a lock—”

“Your stuff on the roof. You keep a SHEILD issue safe up there. On the table. I used my override.”

It takes a moment to piece together what he’s getting at. She’s been running late since she woke up on Paige’s couch at 7:50 something. The only thing in her bloodstream right now is caffeine; there was no time for a wake-and-bake. “Oh. Oh, oh, that’s just... it’s not locked locked; we don’t really care if anyone uses the stuff in it. We just needed something to put it in that the weather can’t get to.” She smiles at him as his shoulders relax. “You went to see our little corner?”

Bucky shrugs. “I was around.”

“Mhmm, I’m sure. And bouncing off the walls with Steve’s lockdown, no doubt. The faster you get that shirt off, the faster you and I can iron out a plan to get you back in the field. Work with me here, Barnes.”

Bucky stands up with a sigh, and his hands move to his shirt. He pauses while they cling to the bottom of it, his arms crossed. Once again, she doesn’t push him through his hesitation. “I don’t mind if you talk about things. Steve only said that shit about being direct to keep me from stalling my way out of this.”

Ava’s eyebrows pull in while she thinks over the words. “Is that the only thing he’s lied about? I don’t care if you two keep secrets, but you can’t bullshit about your mental health with me. I need to know what makes you uncomfortable; otherwise, I can’t do my job.”

“That’s all I can think of,” he assures her, and she believes him despite the wording. 

“In that case, you’re kind of stupid, full offense.”

It’s Bucky’s turn with the blinking. “Excuse me?”

“You signed yourself up for morning appointments, and you just gave me permission to talk your ear off. You’re an absolute moron; now take off that shirt so I can make sure your brain doesn’t melt.”

—

She has a pet cat named Oreo, of all fucking things. 

It’s hairless. And dumb as a box of rocks, according to her. The name comes from the huge black spots in its—pattern. He can’t exactly use the word fur. She was highly offended when he called the cat a ballsack while she was showing him her lock screen. He got smacked on the arm for the comment.

It’s not her first pet. She got it partly to mourn the snake she adopted in college, a rosy boa called Sayer that finally died at 32. She used the reptile as companionship and motivation to push through her first PhD. The one letting her work on his brain now. It was named after the lead character from her favorite medical movie, Awakenings. When Bucky mentioned that he’s never seen it, she made him swear up and down that he’ll text her his honest reactions if he ever dares to rip his own heart out with questionable ethics.

So now he’s got her number saved in his phone. It’s the 11th one he’s added. Two of them are therapists. None of the others are people outside of SHIELD. He’s pretty sure one of the therapists is a plant from Natasha, so maybe he should start counting them toward the SHIELD column.

There were only nine others over the course of his online dating attempts. None of them stayed on his phone for more than a month before getting deleted. He wasn’t about to let his therapist catch their names on his contact list.

Bucky switches the grape-flavored lollipop in his mouth over to his right cheek. Ava gave it to him. Bopped him right on the nose with one and then let him pick from an array of five like the blatant bribery it is. The good doctor smiled at him while she did it, too.

May it bring you back in good spirits and better health.

It’s the nicest way he’s ever been told to fuck off for being a grouch. It made him smile. Him. James Buchanan Barnes, in the year of 2018.

She’s.… Christ, calling the woman a handful in this day and age feels insulting. He’s not put off by it. Overwhelmed a little, maybe, but he gets the feeling she’s alright with him taking time to warm up to it. Hell, he gets the feeling that not much bothers her at all. It makes him envious. 

He likes the way she speaks. Not just the crazy and the swearing, though that’s its own comfort. There’s a—it sounds so stupid, but there’s a kind of music to it. She always talks in the same calm rhythm, despite the chaos usually found in her words. He didn’t notice the way it makes his foot stop bouncing until halfway through the appointment.

Bucky scowls. “Davis. Why am I looking at a lost signal?”

The level four analyst Steve’s been telling him to ease up on lately freezes in his swivel chair. His head turns, nervously searching the wall of security feeds. Bucky doesn’t offer up any help. “Sorry, sir, I can’t seem to spot which—”

“Third row from the top, eighth from the left. The one I’m supposed to be monitoring for an illegal exchange of nuclear materials, so if you wouldn’t mind—”

“Yes, sorry, restoring connection now. Apologies, Sergeant, I’ll—keep a closer eye on it.” The agent starts mumbling the rest of his intended sentence, mostly about how many he’s keeping track of, when he cuts himself off. His shoulders pull in a bit, almost chastised. It always takes people a minute to remember the super hearing.

He could let it hang. The feed is fixed; he can go back to staring at an empty lot without interruption.

“You’re doing fine.” Bucky feels bad because he’s having an unordinarily good day. That’s all it is. Nothing more. “Restructure your feed priorities. You can hand most of these off to JARVIS; that’s what he’s patched in for. Focus on the ones your gut doesn’t like.”

“Thank you, sir. I’ll start on that now.” The words don’t even sound spiteful.

Bucky sits back against the executive bench of the Datacrux. The stiff leather creaks with the motion, the rigid frame under it keeping him grounded. He tilts his head from side to side, letting it crack and readjust incrementally. His neck doesn’t feel as tight as it should. When he touched it in Ava’s lab, the skin felt even softer than it did after her first round on him. He’s trying not to touch it now. He doesn’t want to irritate it. This is the best it’s felt in—

He doesn’t have a year, he realizes. He can’t remember the one he woke up to cybernetics in. He has no idea when his first taste of cyborg life was. There’s a vague lead, a number written out on paper to fill in the blanks of what’s been destroyed. An estimation anchored around the last day of his former life. But he doesn’t know.

At least you’re still breathing, the better angel in his mind coaxes.

Switching which leg is balanced on which knee, Bucky settles back into his work. It’s been six months since the last lead on his responsibility. There’s been no chatter from the known HYDRA cells, no underground protection contracts with suspiciously good track records hitting Natasha’s web, no suspicious Black Market transfers that scream safe house establishment, nothing. Wherever the Soldats are, they’re being kept under wraps. 

His hounds wouldn’t be able to be contained for anywhere near this long. They’re dead or sedated, no matter where they were smuggled. Otherwise, they’d have surfaced already.

Bucky tries not to think about what a life of not knowing will feel like. He doesn’t know if that’s worse than the idea of burying them. They’re certainly not staring down the barrel of a happy ending at this point. How do you mourn—a situation like that? He can’t even figure out how the hell he’s supposed to be fixing it.

Somewhere out there are the last ravaged pieces of a serum that never should have been made. It’s floating, cobbled together and left to rot, in the veins of men and women who didn’t know what they were signing up for. He remembers having to hold their shoulders down whenever the survival instinct kicked in during the first few injections. He remembers watching their faces as they screamed for a mercy no one in that facility was ever going to grant them. He remembers carrying the bodies of the ones that died in the night, over and over for months, all the way to the incinerator.

Bucky tosses the tablet in his lap off to a spot next to his leg out of disgust. His eyes shut, and his hands come up to rub them hard enough to hurt. He needs sleep. Good, honest to god, medication-induced sleep. He hates relying on those damn pills—it’s not as if they help the other half of his problem, anyhow. Falling asleep is only the start of it. The real kicker is staying unconscious, and nothing he can find, even behind the counter, is going to work on his system for that long.

He needs it, though. It’s been weeks since he got more than a handful of hours at a time. Months since he slept for longer than eight. Steve always talks about crashing for ten at a time after an extended mission, and it makes him want to punch his best friend’s lights out. He’ll never say that out loud, of course, but god. If fucking only.

None of his anger toward Steve ever feels fair. The guy had the world’s worst life before the serum, and he’ll bare his teeth at anyone who tries guilting the captain out of the notion. None of them understand what kind of fresh hell it was being Steve Rogers, and all his undying spirit, while trapped in a body with ten billion health issues. If ever there was someone who earned the responsibility of that serum, it’s him, and Bucky’s damn proud of him for it. He spends his days trying to live up to it himself.

He looks over at the back of the analyst with a guilty expression. People used to dismiss Steve the same way he dismisses people now, whenever the anger simmers. 

“Davis, pull up your priority flags.”

The level four glances back nervously, then clears his throat and refocuses on his terminal. “It’s alright, sir, I’m working on sorting them now—”

“I know. That’s what we’ll be going over.”

“I—” Davis hesitates for a long moment. Bucky stares at the back of his head. “Sergeant Barnes, I’m very sorry about the—”

“This isn’t a reprimand.” Bucky clears his own throat, trying to knock the aggression out of his tone. It’s. A lot more difficult than he was expecting. “You’re new here, so I’m gonna give you the crash course. I’m in here a lot, at all hours. You won’t get a heads-up about it; I’m just going to show up. When I do, there are certain hotspots I’m going to need you to keep focused on. They’re not going to be tied to any active case. You’re not going to be able to tell which ones I need. I’m going to tell you what’s already on my radar, and you can establish your own categories from there. I’ll tell you what else I need you to add as it comes up.”

“Oh.” A little hope is entering the analyst’s tone. “Yeah, that—you know, that sounds like what I do for Romanoff already.”

Bucky frowns. The hell it does. She has exactly three people on the face of this Earth that she trusts to handle something like this for her. He’s willing to do it for convenience, and because he doesn’t give a shit what SHEILD sees him prioritize. He worked very hard to not give a shit about it, too. But Natasha doesn’t work like that; she’s very particular about her web of information—

His face goes completely slack as the connection finally happens in his mind. He’s going to kill her. No—actually. He’s never going to bring it up, ever, and they’re both going to die before a word ever gets said about it.

That’s just how their brand of family works.

“Yeah. Exactly like how Romanoff has you do it. Pull up her file structure; let’s go over what I’ll need you to change for my end.”

—

“Bitch! It feels like I haven’t hugged you in a year!”

It’s the only warning Ava gets before she’s tackled from behind. She braces her hands on the engineering bench in front of her, barely catching herself from crashing into it. “Two weeks and three days, but who’s counting? How was the flight home, whore?”

Paige leaves a loud, sloppy smooch on her left temple before backing away to let her up from the attack. “That part was fine—it was the team I got paired with, ugh. You’d have hated the guy runnin’ it.”

“How bad are we talking?”

“Eh, your typical good’ ol boy. Mister my way or the highway, with an ego the size’a the fuckin’ Potomac to match. You know the type. Spent the whole mission criticizin’ my tech.”

She looks over at her in surprised confusion. Paige taking shit from other agents is nothing new; that comes with the territory of her personality and most people’s assumptions. Her work is usually the one thing they leave alone. “How critical are we talking?”

“That was the thing—it was the dumb kind. The kind that could’a been avoided if he’d maybe RTFM.”

“And he made it your problem?”

“Over and over. Every ten minutes, it was—” Paige shimmies her upper body dramatically, her voice going low and gravelly. “Why can’t my AIO do this? How do I make it do that? Rogers’ team gets the reliable gear; why are we always stuck with the second rate?”

“He said that to your face?” Ava’s about ready to march through the tower to find the prick herself.

“Not that last one. That was to his buddy when the dipstick thought his comm was off. I got a half-baked publicist apology over it, and I’m pretty sure he only did it to save face in front of the team for leavin’ the mic open.”

“Report his ass.”

Paige waves a hand dismissively, then dumps her go-bag unceremoniously on the workbench. “I ain’t gon’ waste my time. I’ll let him hang his own noose; I’m sure he’ll get around to it with that attitude. Oh! I’ve got a mock-up for your pretty boy.”

Ava smiles, tossing one of her best friend’s rolls of duct tape between her hands. “I didn’t say he was pretty.”

“Puh-lease. You texted about his hair.”

“With the amount of shit man-buns have taken, it was surprising to see on a guy from a less than accepting decade.”

“You only notice stuff like that when you’re lookin’.” Paige tips her head forward, letting her heart-shaped sunglasses fall to the end of her nose. Her eyebrows waggle enthusiastically. “Is he as big as Rogers? I can never tell in the press photos with him always loomin’ like a gargoyle.”

The smile turns deviously smug. “He’s a little smaller than your not-so-secret admirer. You gotta figure that’s expected without the Vita Radiation.”

Paige reaches out to shove at her shoulder. “I don’t think Rogers has really nailed down what modern flirtin’ is yet. Ain’t fair to pin that on the guy. He’s so sweet! And I give him art projects! And anyhow, he rushes outta here like his ass is on fire most of the time—”

“It’s so weird how that happens whenever your dad shows up to hang out.”

She gets a very unimpressed look in response. “You’re readin’ int’a things.”

Leaning in close, Ava squints and whispers, “You’re being oblivious.” She backs up, her smugness returning. “So, I take it our friendship never comes up while you’re giving the captain art projects.”

“I... hmm. Not that I can remember. Why?” Paige looks over suddenly, then back at the bag she’s unloading with more than her usual level of interest. “Did he bring me up durin’ the visit?”

The glitter-sniffing demon not being allowed to communicate with her has been utter hell for two weeks and three days. But it comes with the upside of getting to drop this bomb on her all at once. “No, but I brought you up during Bucky’s first visit. That’s when Rogers realized he’d read your best friend the riot act the week before.”

Paige’s eyes go saucer wide. “You’re kiddin’. You got chewed out by America’s Sweetheart?”

“Funny enough, I called him the same thing while he was huffing and puffing in my office.”

“What the hell happened while I was gone? Did—” Her head swivels around, checking who’s around them. “Did? Y’know?”

Ava shakes her head, then hikes herself up to sit on the workbench next to the bag. “Nothing like that. Turns out he was going for a trial run, trying to see how well I hold up against a bad episode. Stormed into my office, playing up the asshole captain routine just to see what I’d do. Apparently, Tony set him up for it by not telling him about my VA work. He let out the hot air the second I called him on it. He’s pretty cute when he’s blushing, by the way.”

“Oh, tell me about it,” Paige mumbles happily, proving the accusation of obliviousness entirely right.

“The blush or the huffing?”

“I already know about the blushin’, even if I am ready to hear it again. But over dinner tonight. What’re we thinkin’?”

“You’re the one who’s been living off MREs for two weeks. What are you in the mood for?”

“Fuck, that’s a great question. Indian, definitely. No—wait! Sc-ratch that! I want Vietnamese. Actually, I want both.”

“Take-out picnic, got it.”

“And Italian donuts.”

“Okay, but I’m bringing half the order to work tomorrow. They’ll get stale if you pull an all-nighter to catch up.”

“Fiiine. Take my victory donuts to the masses, y’dirty Marxist. Lemme show ya what I worked on for Barnes before I forget.”

The field case she’s designed is cylindrical and shorter than the phones SHEILD issues most of their agents. Definitely something he’s going to be able to carry around with ease. The applicators that hook to the interior are simplistic and utilitarian. They’re entirely mechanical, with no chance of an EMP being able to disable them—a request from the Sergeant himself. 

“Tony says I can requisition some nannies whenever—I just gotta get your signature on the form since they’re medical grade.”

Ava tosses an olive from the jar she keeps stashed in Paige’s mini-fridge into the air. She catches it in her mouth on the first try for once. “You have one filled out already? I can sign it now; I know you like putzing around with them for a few days ahead of time.”

“Eh, it’s a standard cleaner tag; I’m not gon’ sweat it. I know you’re all worried about his brainstem and whatnot—”

“That’s usually part of my job description, yeah.”

“—but I feel like sterile’s sterile. Ain’t no way I can make the man cleaner than clean, y’know? Now, if you wanna talk settin’ ’em up for emergency maintenance, that’s a different story—”

“Your not-crush just walked into engineering,” Ava interrupts lowly, wanting to avoid the enhanced hearing even from way the hell over here.

In the most conspicuous way imaginable, Paige whips her head around to stare directly at the bay’s front entrance. In a rival amount of obviousness, Captain Rogers slowly works his way through the amassed benches, his gaze landing everywhere but Paige’s station. 

Ava’s eyes roll so hard it’s physically painful. It’s been one thing hearing Paige talk about getting drop-in visits from the super soldier who just so happens to enjoy the blueprints framed over her workbench. It’s another to see it play out in person. 

“He’s prob’ly here to check on the kit for Barnes,” Paige whispers back, tugging off her novelty shades.

“Yeah, that’s definitely why he won’t look at you right now—”

“He’s takin’ in the work goin’ on. He’s a curious guy, you know that—”

“And why he’s walking slow enough to trip over his own feet.”

“He’s admirin’ the—”

“He’s working up the nerve—”

“If you don’t fuck off with that, you lunatic—”

“Alright, now you’re being hopeless on purpose—”

“Good afternoon, Ms. Findley. I hope the trip was—oh.” Steve stops dead in his tracks, three feet from Paige’s farthest desk, his eyes finally landing on Ava. He smiles sheepishly. “Hi there, Dr. Ryder.”

Her grin feels positively carnivorous. “Hello, Steve. Come to welcome home our resident space cadet?”

“Hiya, Rogers,” Paige responds, turning with a smile almost as bashful as the captains. She spins back around, busying herself with the mess of wiring she’s pulled from her bag. “Don’t pay her any mind; she’s in a mood.”

“Something happen with the appointment today?” The concern that immediately surfaces knocks some of the teasing out of Ava. 

Some.

“No, Bucky played nice, I promise. I even brought him bagels to make up for being a half-hour late. Come to think of it, that’s probably what made me a half-hour late.”

Steve’s eyes go a bit wider, his smile softening. “You two had breakfast together?”

“I ate mine in the car. He took his with him. But I like to think we did so in spirit.” Her head tilts to the side innocently, refusing to let him off the hook. “So. What brings you to engineering?”

His hand comes up to the back of his neck, his expression getting… close to nonchalant. “I had some time on my hands—don’t wanna run off on a mission with Buck being a grump about medical orders; he might sneak out. Take your time with that, by the way. It’s impossible to convince the guy to take a day off. You’d be doing him a favor if you dragged your feet a little more.”

Using a best friend for deflection is a social skill Ava mastered years ago. He’s going to have to try a lot harder. “Who wouldn’t want to kill time in engineering? The wrench monkeys get to have all the fun. Maybe you should bring Bucky next time—”

“Oh, that’s—you know, I don’t think that’d be a real—he’s very particular about where he—I think maybe—”

“I think the sergeant would love to meet you,” Ava tells Paige, who’s biting back a grin with her head pointed firmly down at her workbench. “I was telling him some stories about you this morning. I think he might share a few of his own with some time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Paige offers, still not looking up.

Steve lets out a nervous chuckle. “That’s—yeah, it’d—it could help out with his attempts to be social, and—you know. Hey, how was the mission, by the way? I forgot to finish asking.”

“It went just fine.” Paige shrugs, and that’s when it clicks for Ava why she was willing to jump topics so fast. Agent Dickhead really did hurt her feelings.

“Towanda,” Ava says plainly, calmly.

Her best friend’s eyes lift to hers. They stare at each other for a long moment. Paige goes through a silent argument that it’s not worth it; Ava silently insists that it very much is. It all happens through shifting eyebrows.

After a moment, Paige’s shoulders deflate, and she looks back at her work with a sigh. “You do it.”

Looking back up at a confused Steve, Ava crosses her arms over her chest. “You’ve got a real cunt running one of your away teams.”

“Oh, sweet lord,” Paige groans, her head falling into her hands with her elbows braced on the workbench. 

The captain’s eyebrows go for his hairline. “I’m sorry—I have a—I’m going to need a few more details.” He shifts his attention to Paige’s back, and his expression gets worried. “Did something happen? Who was your lead? JARVIS, can you grab me the associated reports on Ms. Findley’s latest away mission—”

“You don’t have’ta do that—“she tries to assure, her head coming up with blazing red cheeks. She hates confrontation. Absolutely despises it. 

Ava used to avoid it. She doesn’t bother much these days. “Actually, your name got thrown into the mix, Captain.” 

“Heeere we go.” Paige takes a deep breath in.

“Thrown into the mix of what?” Steve’s tone is shifting into the sub-zero range. 

“I’m not sure what Agent Fuckwad’s name is, but apparently, the guy thinks it’s not his job to understand his equipment. He also thinks it’s super cool to talk shit about the engineer that designed what he can’t wrap his head around. On an open comm. With her on the other end.”

“I have the mission data ready for transfer to your private feed, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS reports in. Ava doesn’t miss the smugness sitting in his tone, making her smile. She’s betting the AI has been fuming over this in his own way. He’s been protective of Paige ever since her first all-nighters in engineering.

There’s a boiling rage sitting in Steve’s eyes, one that’s rising by the second. When he steps up to tap the side of Paige’s arm with the back of his hand, it’s entirely held back from his voice. “Are you alright with me handling this?”

It’s Ava’s turn to raise her eyebrows in surprise. Extremely pleasant surprise.

“I—oh, fuck me runnin’.” Paige lifts her hand to scrub at her face. “Look, Rogers, I’m not tryin’ to get anyone in trouble here—”

“There are ways to go about this without leaving you holding the bag from a reputation standpoint. If the guy’s a—a... I tried, I’m sorry, I can’t get the word out—the point is, I can handle this in a way that doesn’t blow back on you.”

“Let him do it for the other people the dickwad is going to end up being a cunt to,” Ava suggests helpfully. 

“Exactly,” Steve agrees easily. 

Paige groans, shifting her weight back and forth. Finally, she nods with an uneasy sigh. “Alright. But—maybe just have it be somethin’ found from the logs? I really don’t wanna write up a—”

“Your name won’t come up. I’ll take care of it.”

Ava smiles, tossing another olive to catch in her mouth.

—

September 20th, 2015

Sam balances the plate of sliced sough dough and fresh fruit on top of a can of grape Fanta. He keeps his eyes locked on the way it wobbles back and forth as he makes his way down the hallway of the rented house. Propping the bundle of still-warm linens on his hip, he shimmies his hand off them enough to grab at the handle to Sergeant Miserable’s room.

The sack of personified despair is exactly where they last left him, hunched in on himself in the corner of the room. The pile of blankets under him used to be on the perfectly nice bed sitting in front of the window. The one with an unbelievable view of Finland’s countryside hidden behind tightly drawn curtains.

Their resident vampire, un-fucking-surprisingly, fled from it as fast as he could. Steve’s been grumbling about stealing the curtains while he’s asleep just to force the guy to look out the window on the way to the john.

Sam’s decided to start handling the food deliveries alone. It’s time to start pushing, even if Steve’s not entirely ready for it.

Bucky watches him move through the room, never saying a word. Not even when the plate of food gets put on the nightstand next to the bed, where they always leave it. He leaves them empty outside the door at night, so they know he’s actually eating. Poor bastard never looks angry, more just anguished. 

Sam sits on the side of the bed slowly, as gently as he can. He keeps his posture relaxed, his expression passive, and looks up at the newly freed prisoner of war. “You and I gotta come to an understanding on somethin’.”

Bucky’s eyes start out mostly hidden, thanks to the angle of his head. The shadows consume them entirely as his eyebrows come down. “What.”

One-word answer. That’s good. It’s a verbal day. “We gotta figure out where we’re at. Steve is too close. You’re gonna need someone pushing you on things he can’t. Things you need help with.” 

It’s not a subject he’s brought up with Steve. Being blunt feels like the better option here. He’s guessing the captain’s appeasement is starting to grate on nerves going through this much culture shock. Plus, there’s no pep-talk like a military pep-talk. 

“Do I strike you as an invalid?”

“You might not wanna—we’ll work on that. Point is, you need to start gettin’ comfortable with the new reality. Suck it up, Buttercup, the sky didn’t actually fall. The world’s still spinnin’. None of the big baddies who still know about you have the juice to catch you—”

“No, they don’t,” he confirms aggressively.

Sam rolls his eyes. “Yeah, whatever, you’re huge and scary. You’re also an idiot sitting around wasting a full pardon. No one’s expecting you to start doing a press circuit. If you wanna walk off into the sunset and go find a picket fence to park your Transylvania routine behind, we’ll help you pack and send you postcards. If you wanna do what Steve did and pick up a life in SHEILD, let’s get you fitted in some Kevlar and find you a therapist. But let’s get you outta this fuckin’ room.”

Bucky’s eyebrows stay firmly set, keeping his eyes shrouded. “Why.”

“Oh my god, could you be more dramatic? Like, shit, if you really tried?” He stands up from the bed, headed for the door, his eyes rolling again. “You wanna know why? Because that’s what people do, Bucky. They hit the ground, they figure out if they’re still breathing, and then they get back up to fix what broke. You keep going for the ones who didn’t survive the landing; because they’d hate your guts if you laid down and died over them. Your friend Steve can tell you all about that if you ever feel like giving the man the time of day. No one’s asking you to do this alone.” 

Sam stops at the door, raising one finger and pointing it back accusingly. “You know what— I’m asking you to go outside long enough for a beer in three days. Besides that, it’s up to you how slow you wanna take this.”

“What’s in three days?” The comment is thrown out on a grumble, right when Sam’s nearly got the door closed.

“My birthday, asshole. I’d like to spend it somewhere outside of this house. And, believe it or not, I’d like you to be there.”

—author end notes—

idk abt other ppls trauma foods, but man when im Goin Through Shit all i can ever stomach is bread and bubbles so, for sure inflicted that on bucko. plums i feel like are His to pick up, y'know?

im putting the idiots in my own couples counseling since im robbing bucky of his best FATWS moment so far (yes it is the wrong about me line ty for asking). i also want it on record that grammarly tried to get me to change "the 30s" to "his 30s" and i had to be like no actually i just jacked our leading man from the restricted section of the smithsonian, thanks tho babe

and now you've met paige!! the storm in a bottle herself!! she gonna smooch the shit outta stevie. gonna try to do our babe peggy proud and have her knock that dweeb off his toes at every turn (not hard). still no clue if ill do a spin-off series for them since they're just background here, but i do know im doing some kinktober stuff for them. they get 10 of the days so far (yeah. yeah, its gonna be 4some territory in the last few days, but have no fear, the main fic((s? series maybe? look man im makin a plan as we go. all i know right now is good space and kinktober)) will stay monogamy focused). so, fans of super mega dirty steve, might wanna Check Back Later for those posts 🥰

[lolly-pop456]

1. Steven Universe, Spy X Family, and that new sonic one that I can’t remember the name of lol

2. They’re purple and a bit taller than my usual ankle socks. They also have lil sushi’s on them too.

3. I adore smoothies of any kind

4. Depending on the occasion and season it’s usually a semi formal dress or a nicer shirt with dark pants.

5. Over medium

6. A group of bookmarks I’ve collected over the years. Rn I’m using a tarot card that just described the deck.

7. Black probably. It goes with lots of things.

8. Other than books and movies I like older hats. They look very cool and interesting to me and make fun decorations.

9. The ocean for both. Even though I never grew up by it I just find it very soothing to me for some reason.

10. Colors. They can represent more than what someone is telling me to think (aka lyric questions).

11. Glasses. Eyes are too sensitive for contacts.

12. That she’s big and not shy about it since she can’t help her weight for the most part.

13. Pencil. I’m a fast writer so I make a lot of mistakes usually.

14. My back porch or backyard in general. It doesn’t face anything but the trees so it feels very private and uniquely mine.

15. Only one since my wife and I are too forgetful to have more lol. And maybe? It’s technically my wife’s but she forgets about it all the time… poor lil cactus.

16. A very oversized dark grey one with a family friend’s tattoo company logo on it. I got it on sale as it was the last one and not selling well, I like it because it makes me feel small.

17. Like five books hahaha… all from different series that I have one or two of on my shelf already.

18. When they discovered Tenochtitlan. Experiencing the wonder they experienced while first seeing the city would be amazing.

19. I dressed up as a spunky dark fairy once and loved the hell out of it despite having to wear a winter coat.

20. Algebra.

21. Uhh.. I think it’s called Starry Night Over the Rhine? It’s by Van Gogh and basically like that famous stars one but a different perspective I guess.

22. Iced.

23. Love songs. Idk why they’re just the easiest for me to sing.

24. Perhaps too aggressive at times but I’d like to think so. I at least use my blinker.

25. Yep. I want lots more tattoos and my nipples pierced.

26. More so a cook than a baker though I guess I could bake if I focused more. Don’t really have a specialty unless making a family recipe is one lol.

27. Just one amethyst skull, it’s got some creamy white lines and it’s supposed to be a good stone for protection.

28. Oh yeah. I definitely do, been called a mermaid most of my life as a joke.

29. Nope.

30. Yeah. I hang my shirts to the far left, then pants, then like: seasonals and fancy stuff. Then hoodies and bras.

31. Nails, hair, hips I think.

32. One of those iridescent rainbow looks 😍.

33. Earbuds.

34. Easily.

35. When I was little my favorite was a pink dog with a heart nose named Valentine. He went EVERYWHERE with me but uhh… at some point I became convinced he was haunted by something. That’s a story for another time if anyone’s curious.

36. Air hockey.

37. As long as they’re respectful of my space and let me know if they’re behind me.

38. I really like classical piano pieces actually. They really soothe me and not many people would guess that about me probably.

39. Realizing I didn’t sleep until 7pm lmao.

40. Apple. They hold lots of fond childhood memories for me.

41. Black pepper and rose.

42. A few. I think my favorite is the pixel coloring one, since it lets you upload your own photos to draw.

43. On. Fear of the dark is really a bitch.

44. Put it in my Toothless piggy bank.

45. No hahaha. I wrote too hard and fast usually, and even if I slow down it looks like a young kids.

46. I think a band? That or a podcast.

47. When the weather is nice.

48. I mean… I prefer plastic over porcelain but that’s about it.

49. Read a good book.

50. The air is cold but not freezing, indirect air is being pushed in from the ac with a slight hum. Silky sheets and pillow cases with a light fuzzy blanket that’s big enough to keep me underneath despite me tossing and turning. Also a body pillow with a stuffed animal to cuddle.

50 Questions Just Because

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?

Describe your favorite pair of socks

Do you like smoothies?

What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?

How do you like your eggs?

What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?

What color dominates your closet?

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

What sounds or scents calm you down?

What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)

Do you wear glasses or contacts?

What’s something about your best friend that you love?

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

What are some places where you feel most at home?

Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?

Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?

What’s the last thing you ordered online?

What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?

What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?

What kind of math are you best at?

What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Iced or hot drinks?

Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?

Are you a good driver?

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?

Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?

Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!

Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?

Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?

Is your closet organized? If so, how?

What’s the last music video you watched?

If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?

Headphones or earbuds?

Can you read analog clocks?

Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.

What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?

Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?

What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?

What was the best part of your day today?

What’s your favorite kind of tree?

What scent is your deodorant?

Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?

Do you shower with the lights on or off?

What do you do with spare change?

Do you have good handwriting?

What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?

Do you like to go on walks?

Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?

What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?

Describe your perfect sleeping conditions

[deutoplasmic]

riGHT LIKE FREE HIM HE DID NOTHING WRONG hes just the best feminist lgbt ally pro-palestine boy ever i love him

i think the terrible audio adds to the charm LMAO fighting for your life to hear what people are saying just like god intended /j

sometimes my mom makes cookies!! i dont do much baking other than the mooncakes nowadays but i used to help out a lot as a kid

RIGHT LIKE UNTIL KNOW IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THEY WERE JOKING OR NOT,,, like ik masaya’s academic score was low,,, but like,,, hes not. stupid. is he? Is He-

yea short program is like. a bunch of oneshots lmao they each have their own storyline and tbh its adorable (except rukis i dont like rukis story tbh 😭 but its ok i can just stare lovingly at his face. and the actress’s face too bc all the actresses are really pretty) i recommend watching it!! i have the 🏴‍☠️ site if you need it 😶

and yes i draw too!! >< i mostly do portraits and some animations!! i lowkey gave up on traditional art because the cleanup process makes me lazy 😭 i do knit and crochet though!! and i wanna get into 3D soon 👀

YEA THATS WHEN HE NEVER UPLOADED THEM LMAO 😭 he was GROVELING i found it cute ngl i like pathetic losers 😩

ill compile some song recommendations rn btw! about to expose my stan list lowkey lmao

FACTS!!!!!!!! love him so much for that like come on. a man like that???? from CHINA, notorious for being homophobic no less?????? he is such a guy

OK OK i can understand that. sometimes you need the shit ass audio for the best experience 🙏 usually i just read subtitles but i read too slow in chinese to keep up so it's just english for me lmfao 😔

omg cookies are sooooooo sooooooooooooo good idk i think i mentioned loving subway cookies at some point. favourite kind of cookies are the soft chewy but kind of firm around the edges ones. oh my god. what cookies do you like!!!!!

i wouldn't be surprised if they were being fr..... like surely not but in my heart i know it's prolly real 😰 omfg all my ini faves except yudai were at the DEAD BOTTOM OF THE TEST. truly a wake up call. thank god my tentative dxteen bias did well on his, but still. jumpscare

wait omg that sounds like a bunch of fun! true problem solving is just staring at cute people LOOOOOL and god i love participating in a bit of yo ho ho behaviour i would greatly appreciate the link!!!! i'll prolly get to it when it's holidays so uh. uh

omg portraits!!!!!! and animations you have so much patience. how do you get the multiple drawings of the same thing in mildly different poses to look the same. you are so cool. and ok yeah working with paints is so much effort........ but WHAT you knit!!!!! and crochet!!!!!!!! that is so cool knitting is crazy omg... i can crochet but it is so much effort just to do smth so the dedication is so cool

OK YEAH THAT WAS HILARIOUS i don't think i've ever heard him so ruined. also yeah . ok . we are on the same boat . losers are so very !!!!!!!!!

omg don't worry my kpop list is so biased towards infinite oh i love them so much.... who do you like??

[fruitstealer]

Oh no, I’m so sorry I would never want to compromise you job or get you in trouble in any way. I truly apologize. Thank you for explaining to me what you can. I was just interested because I’m interested in tech, but the field is so confusing, and it has so many different job titles. I know some jobs involve coding, but others don’t. I was just trying to learn more about the field because it seems so hard to enter.

heya! honestly probably wouldn't get in trouble. I'm a process lead in terms of title (which is allowed on linkedin so i think it's allowed here).

It's not that hard to get into it honestly, there are some things you can do (i've put them below).

I would reccomend applying to jobs once you meet at least 60% of the "required" criteria as that's usually when men in tech start applying and getting jobs. I'm not sure of your gender but would reccomend not holding yourself to a higher standard than is necessary at the start. women often wait until they meet 80-90% of the "required" criteria listed on the ad but most of that isn't actually required and in the tech industry a lot of it is actually nonsense not related to the actual role.

I'd look at getting some basic knowledge of the area you'd like to get into (dev, engineering, program management, system admin, customer service, account management etc (there are too many options)). if you are a woman, i would reccomend looking into https://codefirstgirls.com/ if you would like certificates as they have free courses (some with employers that are trying to hire) as a good starting point. You'll need to make sure you sign up for the right one if you go for that as there's three categories of location: Uk, UK and Ireland, and international. They're opening that up again in spring. you can try one of their MOOCs as a tester as well, or do several, as those are not location locked.

Coursera also has some free courses as well that can look good on a cv as do google and microsoft. if you're at university they may also have an agreement with linkedin learning. They're obviously not gender locked either which helps.

there are also obviously youtube videos, if learning is more a goal than getting certs. i didn't have any tech quals starting I've just obtained some since my most recent promotion.

In terms of applying for a role, throw your resume/CV into a recruiters website. they get a commission based on if they can get you hired and you pass probation and can rework your cv themselves to sell you better to employers. otherwise, have a CV done up according to what the requirements are where you're applying (here in ireland for example i cannot have my photo on a CV and it shouldn't be more than 2 pages long, whereas in some places i have to have a photo and it can be much longer). have a customizable cover letter in case an ad requires it and save one version of your CV as a word doc in case the application needs an upload and then that you fill stuff in again on the website.

hope some of that helped? It's honestly something i more fell into than qualified for: i'm qualified as a translator more than anything else.

edit: I did not mean to post this lmao sorryyy i am still half blind from laser eye surgery.

[kqtmansmokeschronic]

It really bums me out that I didn’t get into pc gaming until now because I feel like I missed out on so much that I’ll never be able to experience form play styles to just pvp tricks all sorts of stuff and ugh i just watch so much content from motmus and uversuspro and metpro, Stanei92, ByKrille on pc and I’m so envious and inspired by them they literally inspired me to make a channel and to take getting good seriously and not get cheap kills and make content and edit videos was all looking up to them and I do my very best on ps4 I still think even in ps4 me and Isaac my channel partner as well as my boyfriend run a crew albeit it very small just 4-5 people and we’re the main ones but we actually do kinda what SUCE did on pc fighting aimbot and wining and fighting esp and teleporting modders and orb spammers and all sorts of things and their ultimate Fuck you was their ejectkek. God damn they made passive mode useless because uversus, stanei, krille, tr1gg3r, coukd all eject from their jet and passive deck you killing you when you’re in passive therefore eject kek.

We in FMAW have similar record, so we don’t get to fight aimbot on console, but we do get to fight, people thermal thuccing, BST building camping , spawn camping Perma Off Radar at the beach or wherever so they know where we’re spawning like ESP mods, and we wreck them because they think we can’t see them and we kick them off until they warp or go rc and try cheating throwing stickies.

We also take the piss out of heist Warpers if you Warp away when your about to die you have no room to complain about people who EWO your worse than that. We have our ways to deal with them and flush them out

We have our ways of taking out the godmode Speedo players because they think no one is going to take èthem out of it but it’s not hard whatever haha

Then you have the full godmode players we have the couple different tricks for them cause different godmode glitches require different starts to get them out of it and then sometimes you the ultimate small pp of a perma off radar godmode player and they are a little bit of a bitch but we’re able to get them out either way all the same

I’m not sure what else there is uhmmm ohhh we beat orb spammersXD not just we hide and make them orb over and over while we dodge but doing that and then also killing them when and he was a booter wannabe as well talking about IPs about IPS and bullshit lmao

Lagswitchers are another degeratebenemy that try their hardest to look like they’re good at the game even though theybarebibjectivkynthrbwirse since using freeze lag freezes tgevganebsibifttiuv

Anything else? Uhhhhm we’ve oh man we take out here and MKIIs we sniped the he’ll out of oppressors and we sniped and predominately RPGd the HELL out of jets we were walking anti aircraft missles.

Oh we beat a lot of homophobic and racist and just in general bigoted people so that’s always good too we fight a lot of shitty people that are bigots. We stand up for the little guy and the under represented we try to do good

So I feel like we’ve done a lot of the values that SUCE adhered to with FMAW we’ve done alot on console against cheaters honestly more than anyone else probably if you really look at, we uploaded a lot but the stuff we never even edited or realised we have soooo much footage against cheaters we have seriously probably 2 terabytes of footage fighting people who were cheating I think I might make a montage of skill vs hacks cause we seriously were at the very top of the game. It doesn’t matter if we aren’t number one beach player or whatever that’s kinda if niche and irrelevant that one little scenario we’re able to win anywhere in the map and we rekt every cheater we came across and the same with every sweat and tryhard and wannabe tryhard we are the real deal. And in explaining all of that to circle back around we do that all on ps4 I’m able to do it on ps4 but I reallly looked up to i versus and stufff so I wanna play pc some more here and there with you so we can kinda try to relive those days a bit just having fun. No stakes or anything not out in public lobbies but me and you in our own private lobby and we can mess around kinda tryharding against eachother just fighting and having fun and taking full advantage of pc I’ll write us both macros so we can reload all all, spam weapons, and fast EWO I really just wanna get those clips from the old school pc cliosbwhere they snipe somone and EWO before the other person even dies I just want to do it I’ve seen it so many times and I just wanna get those clips like that I don’t want to stop console or anything but I wanna spend a little time like a day maybe 2 a week for a week or two so we can practice a little bit it and get our timing down but it’s just a short thing I wanna do nothing permanent but yeah I’ve always looked up to their videos and they have their clips where they get a sick clip and boom j stat EWO like instant and I just wanna try to get a few clips like that and it would make me super happy after looking up to them so much I hope that you would indulge me in that… I indulge you in mods on left for dead etc etc and in gta iv I’d like to do something of mine for just a few days please I envy it so much I don’t care how stupid that’s kind sounds I don’t care how cringe or how pathetic or petty I wasn’t around then and I want to get some clips like that it’s they’ve just got this look I’ve always loved it looks so clean and instantaneously happen I just want a few clips like that it would complete my “gta tryhards career” if you would. Basically that kek i got the other day was one of those clips, now if I can get the of EWO clip I can retire;) jkjk but I’d have very cool and super dope clip I’ve ever wanted to get that I NEVER thought I could ever even get those clips so getting what I have is just unbelievable something’s getting that final clip it’s just gunna feel so fulfilling I’ll be able to keep playing gtav100 percent for fun and random clips I can get clips if I want but no big deal I have the best ones I want but I’d probably stream more at that point and just have fun and play freemode like usually and keep trying to get better at beach and a little basepl play on console of course I don’t want to stay on pc at all but it’s make me genuinely happy if you played a few lobbies with me on pc to get those clips and I would do something for you you can ask me to do or okay something with you rondo something you want to do okay? I love you baby

[gud-soup]

All that she wants (JJK SMUT)

(Poly n*sfw f!reader x Gojo x Geto)

a/n: sorry for not uploading, I’m preparing myself for my finals, and I’m quite stressed out to be fair, but I felt like I had to upload something…

This story was inspired by my previous post, had it in the drafts for a loooong time, but heh here it is!

Lmao the intro is fucking long, but I didn’t want to write straight up p0rn, you know?

I know that I suck at not sfw, maybe it’s because it’s weird when I write those instead of reading them, but I do want to practice and challenge myself, so let me know whether it was alright :)

➳Masterlist

"Dude! I’m telling you that she prefers the red one!"

"Well, I’m telling YOU she would look better in white!"

"Well, It happens that I’m HIS BOYFRIEND and I know what she wants"

"I don’t think so…" he mumbled

"Excuse me?"

"I said I DON’T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR “GIRLFRIEND” REALLY WANTS!" he roared.

Suguru couldn't see it, but his lenses hid reddened eyes, tears almost forming. What he said was true, at least for him. He hated himself for it. He shouldn't have these constant thoughts, but how could he? It was you afterall, of course he couldn't help himself. That lustful desire should have stopped after a while, but it just grew bigger and bigger, he wanted you, he craved you, it wasn't healthy anymore.

His wishes turned into fantasies projected into other women he claimed; he would imagine your face, your voice, your body, your expressions, hugging him, marking him, begging him, saying his name, but it wasn't enough, it was never enough.

"Stop making a scene and what is that supposed to mean anyway?"

Suguru hissed looking around, as everyone was now paying attention to that white haired guy's scream

"Exactly what I said" he breathed, quickly escaping the store

"You’re not going anywhere Satoru, what the fuck was that supposed to mean?" a hand reached Gojo's arm, stopping him

"Nothing. Just leave me alone." he scoffed walking away

"I’m not going anywhere until we solve this. You think I didn’t notice? The way you look at her? The way you talk to her? The way you treat her?" Suguru calmly said, but his tone, his feeling said otherwise. He was angry, madly furious.

He never wanted to admit his jealousy, besides, you surely were a work of art, of course you were admired, even by his best friend, his one and only.

He never cared much that Satoru would suddenly appear during his dates with you, he didn't even mind Gojo's behaviour whenever he talked to you "He's just being the usual flirty man, fun on the outside, lonely in the inside, he just wants attention and good company".

But that good company became a usual trio hang out, till none of you had free time anymore; Suguru couldn't even remember when was the last time he went on an actual date with you only, when he was alone with you, heck, he didn't even remember when was the last time he touched you. He missed you and he knew the reason, he was just too much of a coward to admit it.

"Dunno what you’re talking about" Gojo lied, avoiding eye contact

"You like her, don’t you?"

"He's my friend, my best friend, he would never, no matter how much of a hoe he is" He would repeat like a mantra, but his words towards Satoru got harsher and harsher everyday.

Part of him kept denying the evidence, but the hints were just everywere. What hurt him the most though, was that you noticed too and never minded Gojo's attention, but rather enjoyed it and played along.

"Like who? I’m THE Gojo Satoru, you forgot?"

"And because you are, I know if there's something wrong with you"

He witnessed it. Gojo Satoru changed, drastically. He became more quiet, more observing, kinder, sweeter, but for you only; he seemed the happiest, yet the loneliest, it was a rollercoaster which he wanted to leave, but couldn’t get off. It was devastating both for Gojo, who always avoided feeling these uncontrollable strong emotions and Suguru, who saw everything happening right in front of him, yet he did nothing to stop it.

"Oh shut up! You know nothing. Leave me alone"

"Wait! Satoru! Wait!"

"What now?"

"I have to meet Y/N in a bit, join us, we have to talk"

"No thank you, I'm actually a busy person, you know..."

"Oh really, and what's this important thing you have to do instead of being with your best friend?"

Gojo lifted up his gaze and carefully looked around

"Her" he pointed to a random girl nonchalantly

"Oh please, you're better than tha...you're ok...SOMETIMES... you could...there are some rare times were you don’t act like a dog in heat" Suguru tried to reply

"That was very comforting of you Geto" Gojo sighed leaving his best friend alone

"Wait! Satoru!" Geto unsuccessfully replied

That was it. Gojo was never seen again neither from you, nor form Suguru, and you two have never felt this unhappy before.

Your smile went from a fake, to an extremely forced, to nonexistent. You missed him, heck if you did, you loved his company, his joy, his laugh, his entire existence and it just vanished, without even a warning.

Geto never had the heart to tell you the truth, he opted to remain silent, but when you decided to do so as well, he felt heavy on his chest. Guilt and sadness filled him up, although it was never his fault, seeing you in that state and feeling the same way you were feeling, just made your relationship worse.

No more talks, no quality time, just emptiness.

.

.

“White one you say?”

“How did you find me?” Gojo asked not even turning around

“A best friend always knows. Catch” Suguru said while throwing Satoru's favourite drink

“We need to talk” he continued while sitting next to him

“Yeah… we do”

“Suguru listen I lov-“

“I know. I love her too, and because of that, I’m here. Me and Y/N came to an agreement. We have decided that you might tag along, in some of our activities, but let’s not go too far, she’s still my girl, and I’d like to spend some time with her alone.”

“Yeah, I get it, I guess”

Minutes of silence passed. None of them wanted to talk about the matter, it was still an open wound, but they knew, that at the end of the day, things were going to get better for the two of them

“Still thinking the red one’s better” Geto casually blurted while sipping his drink

“That’s because you have no style Suguru, look at those trousers”

“What’s wrong with my trousers?”

“The fucking size of them!”

“It’s to not publicly show my big dick”

“Or maybe it’s to compensate what you don’t have”

“Hey now”

“White is better. It compliments her soft skin, her eyes will just be so pure of light, and-“

“Yeah yeah I get it, red is still better, you haven’t seen her like I have”

“That doesn’t mean anything”

“Alright, wanna bet Slenderman?”

.

.

“Hello darling” your boyfriend surprised you from behind, lightly holding your waist, leaving a soft and delicate kiss on your shoulder

“Suguru I’m not really in the mood”

“I wasn’t aiming at anything, really, I just miss you, this, us, I think that lately we’ve neglected our relationship and I want to do better, so, I’ve brought you a little gift”

“What? Why?”

“Why not? Come on, try it”

“O-ok thanks”

Guilt was your only feeling. You didn't know why lately things were going downhills between the two of you, but it seemed like a light was just turned off and you couldn't see any happiness in it.

You knew that Geto was the best man in the world, he would shower you with love and affection, he would always come over with any kind of gift, even the smallest ones; there wasn't even once were he wouldn't think about you; yet, here you were, treating him like shit, for no reason.

You knew that it was your fault, and because of that, you tried your best to go back to how things were, though, everytime, this unusual feeling would overwhelm you, obstaculating your positive intent.

"Not this time though, I will do my best to go back as it was, to be happy again, to love him again, I miss us too, Geto" You said to yourself while taking the little bag your boyfriend handed to you, as you walked in the bedroom's bathroom.

“You look stunning baby” Geto breathed in all honesty, his eyes full of adoration, not leaving you for a single moment

“Oh yeah I see it, still think that white is better, but you look very hot Y/N” Gojo replied grinning

“Gojo! What are you doing here?” You asked purely shocked, trying to cover yourself for the embarassment

“It’s not Satoru anymore?” Gojo playfully asked now standing, carefully holding your chin, as his gaze was focused on your pretty features

“Easy now buddy” Geto firmly said watching you two with arms crossed

“Don’t act like you weren’t wishing for it darling. I saw you staring at him with hungry eyes, so quit playing. Do you really think I don’t know why whatever was between us wasn’t working anymore? It’s because you’re a slut? Aren’t you? You just wanted to have all eyes on you, including his” Geto calmly said standing up and walking towards you, there wasn't any bad intent in his tone, it seemed more like a mockery trying to cover his sadness and anger.

To each word he told you, you unconsciously just moved backwards, towards the edge of your bed

“That’s not true” you weakly tried to reply avoiding eye contact

“I said stop lying, didn’t I?” Suguru asked holding the back of your head, while pulling your hips close to him, preventing your fall

“Sugur-“

He pushed you on the bed, holding your wrists tightly, towering you

His eyes were different from before, they were pure of lust and anger

“You asked for it, now get the consequences” he smiled as you hissed at the sudden sensation of his knee right in your sensitive area. He laughed at you struggling to hold your whimpers, as he slowly started rubbing while passionately kissing you, still holding your wrists together with one hand, as the other was holding your legs open

You could hear a low chuckle on your side as Gojo was just sitting next to the bed, enjoying the scene

Geto's movements were getting a little rougher, he pressed his knee harder, right on your sweetest spot, receiving a loud gasp followed by a soft moan from you.

He let your wrists go, now fully dedicating his attention to your entire body, peppering your face, going down to your neck, leaving a few bruises here and there, to your collarbones, marking particularly your most sensitive areas, that he knew they made your eyes roll back all the time.

You started painting heavily, your boyfriend had never stopped loving to worship you, you were everything to him, he knew every single detail of what you liked and what you didn't, like the back of his hand

He slowly started to go lower, his hands sliding carefully on your abdomen, as a soft and loving caress, that tickled your stomach; you both looked at eachother with pure loving eyes, which almost felt like a lost memory, adoringly smiling to eachother, as you sat back up, eyes to the same level, never breaking the gaze

"I love you" You muttered, almost whispering, like a secret shared only by the two of you. His smile grew, tears almost forming on his eyes, that quickly faded away. He gently kissed you, pulling you closer, hoping to never let you go, and cherish you forever. You hugged his neck tightly, as he gently pulled you down

"Let us take care of you baby" He soflty said, to which you nodded

He smiled again as he went back to you, slowly removing the brand new red bra he carefully chose, as your breast were being reaveled, both the men's eyes became hungrier and their desires needier

Geto carefully proceeded to kiss the soft skin of yours, each time getting closer to your hardened nipple. As soon as he got there, he lifted up his gaze, looking for your consent, to which you soflty smiled, caressing his hair; he quickly kissed your nipple, followed by his wet tongue, lightly flicking and sucking, as his hand was cupping your tit and the other was going back to your clit

You suddenly heard Gojo standing on your other side, smiling as he looked at you, while you replied smiling back. He slowly took your hand and held it as the most fragile and precious thing on Earth.

"You know, Y/N, I'm aware I shouldn't say this, but for me, you're the most stunning and beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on, I'd really wish if you could give me a chan-" You stopped him before he could say more by pulling his arm to you as he felt over, only a few centimeters apart from your face. You looked at him with the most innocent eyes, as he replied the same; you leaned closer, filling the gap, as Gojo followed, lips caressing eachother, full of desire, breaths held, eyes closed, you smiled taking intiative, slowly letting him touch you more.

The kiss was sweet, loving, caring, nothing compared to what was going to happen next. Satoru shakingly held your chin, trying to deepen the kiss, as you cupped his face, asking for more.

Your passionate makeout slowly grew into lust, as you tried to remove his shirt and he quickly obeyed

"Slow down you two, I'd like to savour every moment, every inch" Geto said, as he looked at you two, then eagerly at your body again, his breath tickling you. Satoru and you exchanged a few glances giggling, he kissed you one last time, guiding himself to your other breast

"May I?" He asked, to which you smiled, gently offering to take his hand and kindly laying it on your chest. He took it as a signal and proceeded to please you as much as he could, never letting you go, as this was what he had always wanted, it almost felt unreal; he wanted to remember everything: your scent, your skin, your voice, your kindness, your beautiful face, your kiss, your touch, your voice and expression; he never wanted this to end

You sighed in pleasure as you closed your eyes for a second, with a smile never disappearing, who knew, that the two most beautiful men in the world were both right here taking good care of you? Seeing them so dedicated made you feel butterflies in your stomach. The feeling in your clit was way more intense, as Suguru fastened the pace. You whined, recognising that warmth, closing your eyes and clenching your fists, as you rode your first orgasm

"Seems like you're ready for more, pretty" Suguru said smirking, as he slowly started removing your underware cursing under his breath at the wonderful sight. He slowly inserted a finger, as you gasped for the sudden action; he looked at you with a big smile, as he inserted a second one

"Be a good girl and cum for me again" He said as he kissed your swollen clit, making you whimper

His hand movement was slow and steady, while he was sucking, and eating your pussy: it felt divine, besides, you didn't have sex for quite a long time

Gojo watched amused, wanting to be part of the party as well. Not resisting anymore, he quickly unzipped his pants, already hinting his very hardened cock. You watched with curiosity, unconsciously lifting a hand towards the woodened area, shamelessly palming it, as he poorly tried holding back his moan. His impatience grew bigger, and immediately got rid of his boxers and unbashedly started stroking his cock in front of your face, frowning and shutting his eyes closed

"He's so pretty" You thought when admiring him, while caressing his reddened tip as he moaned louder. Suguru watched the scene, and unconciously started pumping his fingers faster, eating you hungrily, as you arched your back in pleasure, screaming his name

Gojo hurriedly took his dick and placed it at the entrance of your mouth

"Could you please do this little favour for me, please? I need you” he didn’t know why he was so submissive, he would never ask so kindly to anyone, he would never have tears forming on his eyes for desperation, but you, you were so different, you were his biggest desire, he couldn’t think straight anymore with you around.

You smiled, wiping his tears as you slowly messaged his length kissing his sensitive tip, as he trembled. You looked at him with the most innocent eyes and took him without a warning while he loudly gasped. You smiled bobbing your head, following the rhythm of your boyfriend’s fingers

Wet sounds and moans filled the room, you were at your limit and so was Satoru, you arched your back, closed your eyes, as Gojo did the same, calling your name on repeat; a wave hitting you as you came on Suguru’s fingers while your mouth was full of his bestfriend’s semen

"So sweet, and all for me, your pussy is the best Y/N" Suguru said once he made sure to not let even a single drop fall in the sheets

"Not fair, I want to taste it as well" Gojo said, still panting from his previous orgasm. He moved towards Geto, sitting next to him, admiring the beautiful sight of your pussy, mouth watering. He looked at you and then at Suguru, the both of them smirking, as they went together to taste your juices, humming at the unison, as you held your breath for the immense pleasure and overstimulation

Geto's fingers were shoved back in you, immediately hitting the spot, as you pushed his head deeper, curling your toes, while screaming his name "That's it baby, tell him who you belong to" Suguru smirked

"Not fair princess, I want to hear mine as well" Satoru replied pinching your nipple, as you screamed in pain. He grinned now delicately massaging it, to alleviate the sting

The two of them kept making out with your pussy, as you started trembling, tears forming on your eyes, tired and sore, digging their head in for more, your nail on their scalp, finally squirting all over them, who made sure to keep you entirely clean

"Suguru was right, you taste the best darling" Gojo laughed, as he approached you and roughly kissed you, by pulling your hair and neck towards him, making you taste your own cum

Geto looked at you two amused, as he took all of his clothes off, palming himself at the sight

"Ready for the grand finale?" He whispered in your ear, not even waiting for your anwer, as he grew impatient, inserting himself inside you

"Wait, Suguru, I wanna join as well" Gojo said as he carelessly lifted you up to lay above him and placed his dick on your ass

"Do you think you can handle it baby?" Satoru teasingly asked, kissing your neck

You were just too shocked to reply, as the two of them slowly started putting their dicks in, moaning for how tight you were hugging them

The movements were regular and coordinated, but the peasure was way too intense for you to process, as you were already extremely sensitive. No proper words were coming out your mouth, just sounds of delight, while Geto kept cursing, grunting and sometimes would pull your chin to quickly kiss you, Satoru was moaning uncontrollably and loudly, blabbering your name, and pulling you close to him

You started shaking again, arching your back, digging your nails in Gojo's arms and wrapping your legs around Geto's waist, begging for more

The two of them started moving faster, both hitting your spot, the double pleasure making you a sobbing mess, as the wet sounds and the clappng became louder than before

You cried, not nowing if you craved to receive more, or asking them to stop because it was too much for you to handle. But before you could even mutter a word, you came as they followed you immediately after

.

.

You were now laying down, sandwiched by the two hot men hugging you, trying to catch their breath, smiling like never before, thinking about how lucky you're supposed to be, being wanted by both just made you feel butterflies and see the stars

"By the way, you noticed how she said MY name while coming, Satoru?" Your boyfriend teased as you turned red on the face "Are you dumb? She clearly said mine!" Gojo replied offended

"You sure you can tell by how loud you were being? I almost heard only your annoying voice... such a turn off"

"Fuck you Suguru!"

"Just did, but don't mind for more" he said pulling you closer to him

You tried to get up, to avoid hearing more from those two idiots, but your legs failed to follow you and a pair of hands caught you from behind

“Where do you think you’re going darling? You still have to try the white pair”

Hey! Hey! Hey you! If you’re reading this part, congrats for reaching the bottom, hope you liked this meh writing :) Here’s a treat! (N*sfw)

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[enhypia]

JS ; exes

exes answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: park jongseong x gn!reader

genre: angst, mild fluff

words: roughly 1.7k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - jay speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and jay speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing, neglect, breaking up

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hello, i'm (y/n)

and i'm jay

we're (awkward eye contact)

uhh we're exes

[you guys were invited here today as exes for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

yup

*interviewer shuffles awkwardly

sorry it's just, our friends were the ones who signed up for us

yeah, we just found out about it three days ago

[but are you guys still okay with doing this?]

we're okay

just give us a few minutes to get used to environment

*(y/n) chuckles

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. are you guys ready? should we start?]

*jay nods

ready as i'll ever be

[how long were you guys together?]

we were together for almost 3 years

[how long have you guys been broken up?]

about a year and a half now

[who broke up with who?]

i did they did

[why did you break up with him?]

so this was all a year and a half ago okay? no coming for jay, he's grown, we've grown

thanks?

you're welcome

*jay laughs

uhh.. it just really reached a point where i felt neglected in a way? and it was just tiring? i kept thinking 'do i deserve this treatment?' and i hated that i was doubting everything, including his feelings. so i just said let's talk about it and then yeah we split up

*jay drinks and (y/n) laughs

sorry sorry

nah i just needed that

[okay, how about we officially start the q&a portion between the of you now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jay wins

*he picks up a card and facepalms after seeing the question

goddamn

should i be scared?

not sure, but you might opt to drink though

[do you blame me for what happened to us?]

oh my god *(y/n) laughs

i know right

so we're unpacking emotions today? okay noted

you can just drink if you're not comfortable with it

i'll drink but i'll still answer, might ease your mind no?

*jay couldn't stop his head from nodding

*(y/n) drinks

i admit that i blamed you at first, but then i got to thinking that it wasn't just you, i was also at fault too since i never really vocalized what i felt? i just let it build up until it reached the point where you couldn't do anything about it anymore, and i couldn't too.

yeah but it's more of my fault since i felt something was wrong but i just brushed it off, i brushed you off.

....

shot?

*jay smiles slightly and both raised their glasses to cheers before drinking

we were both at fault and i don't blame you, jay. i hope you stop blaming yourself

*(y/n) smiles softly then picks up a card to stop any reply they might get from jay

god why are these questions so heavy? it wasn't like this from other episodes

*jay and crew laugh

okay, hit me

[what's your biggest regret about our relationship?]

what the fuck

SEE ?!

*both laugh and jay drinks

okay, next question

no, i'm answering

[we won't stop you but just reminding you both that it's okay not to answer if you drink]

the alcohol releases the unhinged-ness

in other words, this is really just us using the alcohol to actually say what we feel

i think you already the answer, and it's that i didn't do anything about us even if i felt something was wrong. i just kept on focusing on my career that i reached a point where i brushed everything off as nothing. and in the end, while i got the success i wanted, somehow i also feel like i'm on the losing end really.

*(y/n) drinks making jay laugh

what? it's my first time hearing all this !

it was a rough break so

omg is this our closure ???

*jay's eyes widened

and it's filmed ?!?!

*everyone laughs

couple goals *(y/n) does a hashtag

oh wait *(y/n) looks at jay

exes goals *both do a hashtag pose

*they laugh, ignoring the sting in their hearts

okay, okay moving on

*jay laughs again

is it a heavy one again?

nope

[do your friends hate me?]

*(y/n) bursts out laughing

please 😭

we have the same friends

we share a lot of mutual friends

that's why there was like tension for a month in the friend group because no one knew what to do

i'm sorry you had to endure all that friends

remember when they literally made an organized schedule to hang out where we wouldn't see each since the break up was still fresh?

yeah like i got heeseung on tuesdays

and i got him on thursdays

😭😭😭

we love them though, they did their best to console us both

thanks guys <33

*(y/n) picks up a card

goddammit

[do you think we could've actually worked out our problems?]

i think it's unfair that i get a lot of heavy questions

i have the power of god and anime on my side today

i think we could've, if i just had taken the actual time to reflect and sit down and talk, we could've worked it out.

*(y/n) slaps jay's arm

i told you, stop blaming yourself

k

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

*jay picks up a card and

oh

what?

*he is stuttering guys, he is fidgeting

[do you wish we were still together?]

oh

yeah

.....

*both drink

i mean-

*jay has been paralyzed, he did not expect (y/n) to answer

i'm happy where i am right now, maybe there are moments of weakness that the thought crosses my mind but i don't dwell on it too much. i think we're both still learning and growing.

*jay doesn't want to think about the fact that (y/n) never said a clear yes or no

*(y/n) picks up a card and groans

please just drink to this

why?

[what do you think of me now?]

....

drink.

no?

why?

because-

why?

i'm answering

why?

i want to?

no.

right now i'm just really proud of you.

*WORLD PAUSE, (y/n) is malfunctioning

it's a little sad that i didn't get to witness a lot of it but i promise i watched from afar and i'm so proud of you. like it makes me feel lighter in a way? knowing that you're still going and pursuing your dreams. it just made me at ease that -

*(y/n) drinks, looking very much like snow white's apples

are you blushing?

jay i will kick you

*he laughs and pinches (y/n) cheeks making them redder, (y/n) slaps his hands away

i won't hesitate bitch

how about you huh?

[what do you think of me now?]

*jay you should know not to tease too much or else it'll bite you back

i think you're absolutely amazing.

*jay could only blame himself

i am in constant awe and there's this pride that i have in me whenever i see you thriving. it's weird because i thought i'd be bitter about it, but since i knew of your goals and how passionate you were, all i felt was pride. it did hurt a little that i couldn't go "that's my baby!" anymore.

*alert! jay's ears are red and it's spreading to his cheeks and neck

okay next question!

*he quickly picks up a card making (y/n) burst out laughing

everything i said was true though.

hajima. stop. pause. i'm not listening

*(y/n) laughs at flustered jay

this is the last one.

[question for both: if you could tell me anything, what would you say?]

sheesh

same

rock paper scissors? loser goes first

*jay wins

*(y/n) drinks

can you turn around for this one, like don't look at me.

*jay followed

i want to say that,,,, that it's not your fault for putting your future first. it kind of stung since you made me feel like i wasn't a part of it but i know that wasn't your intention. i understand your actions and i don't blame you. if i was in your position i probably would've been the same. i'm sorry that i didn't try harder, like you said we could've made it work but i just got so tired, i hope you can forgive me for that as well.

okay i'm turning around as well, your turn

*(y/n)'s eyes are glassy, but jay doesn't need to see that

i want to say that i'm sorry for neglecting you. i feel like you're tired of me saying sorry but that's really all i could do. i forgive you by the way even if i don't get why you're apologizing to me. i also want to say that, it wasn't you. it sounds cliche but you weren't the reason i became like that, it was me. it was never you. so please don't blame yourself for anything. please don't question your worth because you were more than enough.

yah i didn't want to unpack that

well i still know you and i was given the chance to say it now so

*(y/n) turns around wiping tears, jay is sniffling

i need a drink damn

*(y/n) pours a shot and jay as well, both drink after clinking their glasses

[you guys good?]

*both looks at each other and chuckles

we're good

i can't believe we have to thank our friends for setting this up

*jay groans

[care to answer one last question that is in everyone's minds' right now?]

oh god

is it what i think it is

[will we see you guys be featured again? maybe exes to couples again?]

let's drink!

*both take one last shot and waves to the camera

*(y/n) shrugs and jay winks

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments (peep last one)

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: i was planning to post this sooner but my pharma prof suddenly dropped a 6-page activity lmao rip, im scheduling the timestamps i forgot to post last update sorry sorry. my angst skills are subpar forgive me but i tried my best. i hope you like this one too !! jake's will be uploaded next ! please look forward to it <33