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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago

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artistry (1/2) bucky barnes x reader

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part 1 part 2

therapy, and hatred for the same things; the beginning of a beautiful love story 😌

also sorry this is not any of the stories on the list i published a couple weeks ago. ive been submerged in the falcon and the winter soldier and really wanted to write more for Bucky so here's the beginning of that. i will be working on the other stories they just may take more time. but for now i hope you all enjoy the bucky content!

Song: never know by set it off

tag list: @cynic-spirit

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I stood, knees to the couch, arms folded over my chest, Studying the wall as best I could. God I fucking hated it. It was so polite and warm and inviting. Barf.

"Disturbing."

I grumbled, hearing soft footsteps against the carpet.

"Oh sorry, they told me to wait in here I didn't realize there was someone-"

I glanced over at him for a moment. He seemed like he wanted to leave but I'm sure he was curious what I was doing. I was staring at the wall behind the couch after all.

"It's kind of infuriating isn't it?"

I asked, looking over the pale greens and blues.

"Um, what is?"

He now seemed very confused. I nodded towards the mural.

"Sometimes when I look at this wall too long I can just imagine myself punching a hole in it."

I half laughed.

"I couldn't tell you how many times I've wanted to offer to paint over it."

I uncrossed my arms, side stepping the couch and touching the wall gently.

"I never really thought about it but it is kind of ugly isn't it?"

He sent me a smile and I couldn't help laughing more.

"Y/n."

I said offering my hand to shake.

"James."

"Firm grip ya got there James."

He rubbed his gloved hands together, looking to the floor as his smile faded.

"Thought I knew my own strength."

I kept the smile on, touching his shoulder gently.

"Hey, a firm grip isn't necessarily a bad thing. Besides, no harm no foul. I'm sure you put it to good use."

I winked at him and he seemed like he didn't know what to do again. Until he let out a nervous laugh.

"Right."

I nodded once, looking back over the wall and dropping my hand from him.

"I should probably get going, doc should be in soon and I wouldn't want to take away from your session."

I walked past him.

"It was nice to meet you James."

As I reached the door he cleared his throat.

"Hey y/n-"

He said quickly and I turned back around to face him. He was fiddling with his fingertips, pinching the leather of the black gloves.

"I uh, don't get out much but I was wondering if you'd like to get a drink. Maybe, talk about how you'd repaint this wall?"

He pointed to it haphazardly, a smile making its way back to his face. In that moment I couldn't help the one creeping it's way across my own lips. I nodded quickly.

"I'd like that a lot James, uh here, you can call or text me at this number and we can work something out."

As I spoke I reached into my bag and pulled out a business card that I probably hadn't used in too long. The edges were fraying and my occupation had changed but I handed it to him anyway. He held it between both hands and looked over it.

"Are you free tonight?"

He asked, hope behind his eyes. I pretended to think for a moment.

"Ya know what I think I am."

I said and his smile got wider.

"Meet me at the bar at the corner of tenth and Jefferson?"

I nodded slowly at his inquisition, backing up into the doorway and squeaking when my back hit the wood.

"Eight o'clock, don't be late."

I said, turning and almost running into Dr Raynor.

"Oh, sorry, uh have a good session."

I mumbled quickly, ducking past her.

"I'll see you tonight James."

°°°°°°°°°

As I sat at the bar alone I began to doubt he was even coming. It was almost nine already and I was starting to think I was stupid for even waiting this long. Maybe I should go. Or maybe I should try to find someone else to talk to. The band was pretty good after all. I sighed and raised my finger to get the bartenders attention. when she turned around i opened my mouth-

"I'll have what she's having."

I heard, looking over to James with wide eyes as he sat beside me. He was wearing a navy blue leather jacket of some kind that exposed his left, metal, arm.

"You actually came."

I said surprised. He seemed almost ashamed.

"Sorry I'm late. My friend needed me and we got a little caught up. I was going to call but-"

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and the top was barely hanging onto the base by a wire. the flip phone kind of took me aback though. but it didnt matter, he showed up.

"It's okay, im just glad you actually came."

He let out a nervous laugh and took a sip of the drink the bartender had sat down.

"I was hoping you'd still wanna talk, even though I'm an hour late."

I nodded, looking over his face as he fully turned to me and my face fell.

"An hour late and bleeding."

I reached towards him and touched his temple gently. He winced at first.

"You wanna get out of here? I can get that fixed up; I only live about a block away."

I suggested and he nodded slowly.

"Uh yeah, I'd like that."

I paid the bartender and stood up, James following me outside. I inhaled deeply at the scent of rain as the sky darkened with clouds.

"So, something life-threatening happen on your way here?"

I asked, laughing a little as he looked to me.

"I'm kidding. Unless it did, in which case I'm glad you're okay."

He scratched the back of his neck, pacing slowly beside me.

"Good talk."

I said and he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry I just, I don't do this often and I feel like I've already lost my chance with you."

I looked to him and drew my brows.

"would i have invited you to my house if you had?"

he shrugged, side nodding before tucking his hands into his pockets. i frowned when he didnt respond.

"look, james, i think I'll be the judge of whether or not youve lost your chance and right now I say you haven't. but you said you wanted to talk and there's not a whole lot of that going on."

He let out a nervous laugh.

"Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

I asked, slipping my right hand into his left elbow and he stopped. He looked down at our arms connected for a second and then I felt bad.

"Sorry, I just uh, figured it'd lighten the mood a bit. Sorry."

I pulled away and kept walking.

"Wait. No, it's just-"

I looked back at him and watched as he opened and closed his hand a few times.

"I don't really associate good things with it so it took me off guard a little bit. You can, uh, you can hold my hand if you want. That's fine."

He stepped closer to me and took my hand in his. I smiled at him and nodded.

"Thanks, I guess I just wasn't really thinking."

We kept walking.

"It doesn't bother you?"

He asked and I shrugged.

"Why would it bother me?"

There was a long silence as we rounded the street corner.

"I don't know."

He said softly.

"Uh, we're here."

I said, letting go of his hand and walking up the stairs to unlock my front door, looking to him as he looked over it. when i offered for him to come inside he hesitated for a moment but followed me in anyway.

"here you can sit here, let me get a look at where this blood is coming from."

he watched as i pulled the stool out form under my breakfast bar and i felt more nervous than before. it had suddenly occurred to me that we would be getting much closer and that led to some pretty self-conscious thoughts. but who was i kidding? he bared himself to me already, why should i be scared?

i inhaled deeply as he sat, moving to turn another light on so i could see better. i moved back over to stand between his legs, touching his jaw lightly and tilting his head down. he kept his eyes on me as i touched the wound gently, hearing his breathing hitch in the back of his throat before i let go to get a cold wash rag.

"so, you wanna tell me what happened?"

i asked, trying to lighten the mood as i came back and began wiping the dried blood away from the cut at his hairline. my finger tips were at his chin and he seemed more relaxed now.

"i was helping a friend."

he repeated like before. i nodded once.

"you live a dangerous life don't you James?"

he looked up at me with innocent eyes.

"bucky."

he said and i raised a brow.

"bucky?"

"thats what my friends call me."

i nodded once.

"are you calling me a friend?"

i asked and he finally cracked a smile.

"if you want to be."

he said and i let out a short laugh.

"and if i dont?"

his smile began to fade and he cleared his throat. i looked to the ceiling for a moment before leaning down and kissing his cheek gently.

"thats not what i meant bucky."

when he looked back up at me he seemed so lost, like this was a new type of kindness. part of my heart broke thinking about what could have happened to lead him here.

"what do you say we call this a trial run? we can take a weekend sometime and maybe go to the art museum down the street, get pizza for lunch, and just have a good time."

he seemed like he was still trying to study me as i put the wash rag on the counter and wiped my wet hands on my jeans.

"no blood, no confusion, just two people having a good time."

i held my hand out for him to shake. he nodded slowly, the smile barely there as he reached for it.

"i think id like that y/n. i think id like that a lot."

#wattpad #x reader #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #captain america #the falcon and the winter soldier #imagines #one shots #315

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tangerinegod · 4 years ago

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Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you!

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D.

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job!

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy!

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work.

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer..

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus!

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

#anon #ask #long post #im so so sorry this is like long as shit #ill literally tell you guys everything though art school should not feel like a mystery esp if ur planning to go into it!#Anonymous

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madamsixx · 5 years ago

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Beyond The Leather Chapter: 5 Train Wreck At The End Of The Rainbow

Warnings:

Drug abuse

Sexual situation

For the next couple of days I had agreed to meet Nikki at the Diner by his home. We were actually getting along pretty well. I was also hanging out with his band members. They were really cool. Especially Tommy we really hit it off. But anyways back to Nikki. We told each other about our lives.

I told Nikki about my family, my mom being a respectable doctor and me being close with my sisters. I also told him I was Catholic and believed in God, and that I don't drink, smoke, or do any type of drugs. I let him know that I'm 15. But he wanted us to contiue hanging out. But I let him know as long as we're just friends because he's way to old for me.

He opened up to me about his home life. It was really sad how he grew up. It was dysfunction junction growing up for him. I really felt sorry for him. He has abandonment issues. He told me about his grandparents Tom and Nona raising him. And how he had a half sister named Cecei. I was happy at least he did have two people who loved him.

I finally gave him my number so he could call me. But I told him the hours to call. Yesterday he called and asked if he could take me out tonight because his band members and some friends were going out. I said sure why not. Tamara wasn't going to be home late. She was going to be with one of her guys. But she did leave me with Theresa (her assistant). And Theresa agreed to go out. She's 23 so she liked to have fun of course.

"Ok so Nikki's picking us up and we're going to stop at his place." I hung up the phone after talking to Nikki.

"Oh my God im so excited this is Motley fucking crue were talking about. These guys are bad asses. Ugh and Vince and Nikki I have to have one of them tonight." She smiled and I glared at her.

"Sorry maybe I'll go with Tommy and Vince." She giggled hesitantly and I still glared at her.

"What's the problem you like all of them?" She asked raising her hand.

"No I don't, but these guys are bad news and I don't want you getting hurt. I've heard some of the things that they have done to woman, and it is absolutely disturbing." I stared at her with worry.

I started to worry about going out tonight. I mean I don't party so why am I even going out with them. Plus I'm 15 and these guys are in their 20s.

"Maybe I shouldn't go, I think I'll call Nikki to cancel and just stick with meeting at the diner." I started Making my way back to the phone.

"Iman wait!" Theresa grabbed my hand as I was picking up the phone. "I promise I'll take care of you no matter what. If they try anything with you were outta there ok."

I didn't have time to object because the phone started ringing.

"Hello!"

"Hi miss Darlington there's a Nikki Sixx downstairs here for you."

"Alright thank you we're coming." I put down the phone. "He's here let's go."

I dressed in a tight green dress that really hugged my curves. Theresa curled my hair and I picked gold heels to put on. I grabbed my white small coat and hung it over my shoulders rather than put it on. I wore pink lipstick that really made my lips plump out.

Theresa wore the smallest thing you could ever imagine. She's Latina, she wore a black dress with her boobs popping right out of it. She teased her black hair, and put on black heels. She looked gorgeous.

We got downstairs and I wasn't surprised by Nikki's choice of clothing. He had on a black T-shirt with a big red scarf pulled over it and sunglasses dangling from his shirt with a silver chain. He wore black leather pants with a skulls belt around it and had his tattoos showing. His hair was really teased and he put a band on it to keep his hair up. I can't lie he looked good. But I won't tell him that. I realized he's very cocky and arrogant.

"Wow you look absolutely breathtaking princess." He wrapped his arms around me. He then leaned in and kissed the top of my head, my forehead, and then my cheek.

"U....um Nikki." I cleared my throat nervously. "This is Theresa my friend." I pointed at her.

"Hey nice to meet you." He lifted his hand out to shake hers.

"Like wise she giggled." She says taking his hand. ____

We arrived at Nikki's apartment it turns out he was sharing it with Robbin Crosby. I remembered him from New York. This place was a dump. The carpet was wet because they had a cooler with a hole in it that was filled with ice. There was also only one bed and Robbin was nice enough to let Nikki sleep in it. So where was Robbin sleeping?

"Hey long time no see doll." Robbin pulled me in for a hug.

"Its nice to see you too Robbin." I moved back. "This is Theresa my friend." I pointed at her.

Robbin looked like he was about to just pass out when he saw Theresa. His eyes went wide and he was drooling all over like dog.

"H.....hi wow you're um...you're beautiful." Robbin pulled his hand out to shake hers.

"Thank you hansom." She giggled.

I went into the room Nikki was staying in. He said he just needed to grab a few things from the washroom. When I walked in my eyes went wide. There were posters of me on his wall everywhere. All my magazine shoots were taped up in every angle of the room. He came out of the washroom and looked at me shocked. His face was red with emabrassment.

"If I didn't know any better Nikki I would say you were infatuated with that model on your wall." I crossed my hands and lifted one eye brow smirking at him.

Nikki walked slowly towards me smiling." I'm beyond infatuated with her, I'm obsessed with her. And one day I'm gonna have her." He whispers as he caresses my cheek.

Oh God I need to leave this mans room. But it was cute seeing my pictures everywhere. And as for one day having me, I dont think so.

"Let's go Sixx." I say walking out the door.

"Right behind you princess."

We arrived at a place called The Rainbow. It was really nice. They didn't ID me because I was with Nikki. We saw the rest of his bandmates and some other guys I recognized from New York as well. I have to say I was definitely over dressed. Most of the girls here were wearing little or no cloths at all. And circling around the tables for guys to snatch on to. A lot of them were looking at the Motley boys and the boys that are now known to me as the band called Ratt.

I finally met the 4th member of Motley Crue. His name was Mick Mars, I really liked him. He was sensible but can be crazy when he drinks.

"Cheers fuckers." Tommy says as he holds up a shot glass. And everyone downs there shots.

"Hey beautiful you're not drinking?" Warren asks leaning on to me.

"Oh no I don't drink." I say putting my hand up.

"So you're a model huh, I could tell just by looking at you when I first saw you." He licks his lips and looks me up and down.

"Umhm." I nod. I look over at Nikki who is distracted talking and drinking with the others. I could smell the booze on warrens breath as he starts to inch closer to me.

"Hey Iman right, why don't you and your friend come with me. Us ladies should chat and give the men some room." The woman stuck out her hand for me to take. She had big brown teased hair, she was tall and absolutely gorgeous.

"Um I think I'll stay here and do shots with the guys." Theresa states.

"Good, girl you'll have more fun with us than chatting with Tommy's wife." Vince says while putting an arm around her neck.

Tommy's married wow that's interesting. I took her hand and got up to go with her. Warren frowned and side eyed Tommy's wife.

"Hey babe don't go to far." Nikki spoke up as he grabbed my arm. He pulled my arm down and kissed my cheek. He to was drinking alot.

But wait he called me "babe".

Me and Tommy's wife went into another booth. It was definitely better then being with all those guys.

"I'm Candice Starrek Lee, Tommy's wife." She holds her hand out to shake mine.

"Iman Darlington, nice to meet you." I greeted her.

"So you're a model as well, I've seen some of your pictures. You're absolutely gorgeous." She smiles.

"Thank you, you are too."

We talked a lot. Candice was a model herself and told me about the do's and dont's of modeling. She also gave me a warning one that I will never forgot.

"So you and Nikki Sixx are together?" She asked.

"Oh uh no." I waved my hands up. "We're just friends that's all."

"Listen, Nikki is a good guy and all, but you should keep your distance from him. He has two sides to him. And he is very destructive. If you care about yourself and your career. You'll stay as far away from him as possible." She warned.

She had a stern look on her face and I knew she wasn't kidding. Nikki is the guy that your parents warned you to stay away from. And I'm sure she has kown Nikki for while do to marrying Tommy. So chances are she knows what she's talking about.

"So what are the two sides?" I asked in a worried voice.

"He does hero......

"Hey babe." Tommy slurred interrupting our conversation. "We're gonna go now I'd like you all to my self. Sorry Mani I'm fucking horney." He said falling into the booth.

"I've got to get him home, it was nice meeting you." She lifted Tommy up.

"Yeah same here."

I wish she could have finished what she was going to say. I got up and headed back to the table were everyone was at. But I realized half of them were gone.

"Warren where's Theresa and Nikki?"

"Theresa's in the bathroom getting fucked by....by....Robbin I think...I don't fucking know." He slurred.

I ran to the washroom and burst open the door. "What the hell get off of her you pigs!" I ran pushing and shoving the guys away from her.

Stephen, Robbin , and Vince were running a train on her. These guys are pigs. I couldn't believe them.

"Theresa were going." I demanded grabbing her and pulling down her dress and fixing her bra.

"Oooooook, I had fun though. My pussy feels sooooo gooood. Thanks for bringing me." She slurred while hugging me.

She was completely drunk and had some white stuff on her nose. What the hell!

"Look she wanted it from all of us." Vince chuckled while zipping his pants up.

"That doesn't mean you have to do it. Shes drunk she doesn't know what she wants!" I stated holding her up.

"Hey stop being so stiff and loosen your pussy up. My dick would fit better in there if you did." Stephen laughed.

"Hey guys stop, do you want help with with her?" Robbin moved close to us.

"You guys are disgusting. And I wouldn't be caught dead sleeping with any one of you." I glared at all of them with the most disscusted look I could have on my face.

"News flash sweety, You're about to get involved with one of us disgusting guys." Stephen smirked and lifted an eye brow.

I walked out of the washroom carrying Theresa on my arm and saw Nikki at the table with some groupie on his lap.

"Nikki we need to leave, I need to get her home now please." I demanded.

"I'm not ready to fucking go." He slurred.

This is just great Nikki is wasted to. I could care less about the groupie. I moved towards the back where the guys were laughing. I hated all of them.

"Hey I'll call you girls a car home."

I turned to see Mick walking towards the phone.

"Thank you so much Mick."

15 min later....

He helped me carry Theresa outside to where the car was waiting for us.

"Thank you so much Mick I appreciate it. I really do." I hugged him them got into the car.

"No sweat kid." He smiled closing the door.

We arrived back at the condo I was praying that Tamara wasn't home yet. She would crucify me if she caught us and the state of Theresa. I opened the door and......

"You are in big big big trouble." Tamara stood in front crossing her arms over her chest.

#vince neil #nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #motley crue #motley #crue #hair metal #glam metal #80s

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outofmylimitcal · 6 years ago

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The Hating Game Pt. 1 - Calum Hood

a/n: some how this got deleted the first time around ???? but here you go College!Cal, i was gonna do frat cal but i avoid them like the plague at school so not the best idea. first part of the series and i dont know how many parts there’s going to be ,, anyway enjoy and lmk what you think!!

part 2

synopsis: natalie has held a grudge against calum since he screwed her over in first year, and cause he’s kind of a snarky asshole, but when he comes to her rescue one night will all be forgiven??

word count: 2023

warnings: swearing, drinking, and kinda smutty??? but not sex

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To say I was done with school would have been an understatement, all my midterms were done, and the semester had hit that lull in between when finals hadn’t started yet, but you had nothing else on your plate. Third year was so close to being done and I could almost taste graduation even if it was a year out, so far, my engineering program had smacked my ass to Pluto and back. Setting my phone down on my desk, I walked into the living room to be met with my two best friends, Charlotte who was also in engineering, and Sierra who was pre-med and hoping to get into med school after her undergrad.

“Hi yes we need to go out for our last free weekend of the semester.” I exclaimed plopping down onto the couch and startling them both up from their phones.

“Luke invited us out to that bar on Main street, all the boys will be there too.” Sierra replied letting us know her boyfriend’s plans, looking back down at her phone. At the thought of ‘all the boys’ I let out a fake gag.

“C’mon Natalie, you seriously still can’t hold a grudge against Calum for what he did in FIRST year.” Char let out, slapping me across the arm.

“I can and I will, I’m down to go, but I can’t say I’ll be pleasant towards him.” I scoffed grabbing the TV remote and aimlessly flipping through the channels.

Okay, maybe holding a grudge for two years is a little bit of an overkill, but when Calum ruined my perfect grade in a class because he thought it was going to be an easy elective and I was going to do the entire project (mind you it was worth 40% of our grade) for him because as he put it ‘it’s my major, I shouldn’t have a problem doing it alone’ do I get to hold a grudge. I mean who the fuck takes computer science as an elective, I didn’t even want to take it and it was mandatory for me. But with him not doing his part, my grade suffered, and with that went my liking for Calum. It may be petty but I’m as petty as they come, nowadays I mildly tolerate him since our friends like to hang out together but not without the fair share of sarcastic banter between us.

“Anyways, it’s 8:00 and they probably want to meet around 9:30 so we should go get ready.” I say turning off the TV and tossing the remote back onto the coffee table, standing up and booping their noses I start the walk back to my room.

“Maybe you should fuck him, that would alleviate the weird ass tension between you two.” Char yells out from the living room, followed by a burst of laughing coming from Si. I continue walking back to my room, flipping them off behind me.

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Meeting back up in the living room at a quarter after 9, my makeup was done, I’d thrown on some random band tee, and slipped on my shoes and leather jacket, twirling my house keys in my fingers as I took one last look in the mirror.

“Hurry the fuck up, I don’t wanna get stuck in the line. Again.” I yelled out to them, and as if on cue they walked into the foyer, clipping their bags closed and fixing up the last few things.

“For someone who says they hate him, y’all sure do dress very alike.” Char chirped while slipping on her own shoes.

“Hate is a very strong word Char, it’s more of a strong distaste.” I piped back giving my most sarcastic smile, unlocking the door and calling the uber. They followed me out the apartment, and down to the uber waiting outside.

“They said they’re at a table in the back, and that the line to get in wasn’t too long.” Sierra said looking down at her phone and sending a quick text back. Hopping out of the uber and saying a quick thank you to the driver, we shuffled over to the line and saw only about 5 people infront of us.

“See the line isn’t that long, no need to rush us.” Charlotte said, earning only an eyeroll from me. Showing our IDs to the bouncer, and paying the cover we walked into the bar, that kind of turns into a club on weekends, with tables moved to welcome a dance floor, and a DJ playing everything from Top 40s to rap throwbacks, it was THE place to be on weekends in the small university town. Getting here early meant getting a table, and not having to wait too long in the lineup outside. Sierra tapped Charlotte’s shoulder and pointed somewhere near the back, most likely to the table the boys had decided to residence up at. They both turned to look at me, relaying information I had already deduced from their hand motions.

“You guys go ahead, I’m gonna go get a drink first.” God knows I’m going to need it tonight. Making a bee-line to the bar and taking a seat on the stool, I got the attention of a bartender, ordering a vodka sprite. I spun around to survey the area, as I scanned the crowd of dancing people, my eyes landed on Ben, my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me, and stole all my chemistry notes in the process, leading me to fail said chem class’ midterms. He was looking real cozy with some blonde chick I recognized from one of my classes, and as he looked up, I locked eyes with him. If looks could kill Ben would be a deadman. I could feel my blood boiling as he gave me a small smile or smirk. I don’t care, I didn’t look long enough for it to register, spinning back around, taking my drink and paying the bartender with a small smile I walked away to meet my friends. Approaching the table, I could see Sierra and Luke cozied up in their own world, and Charlotte in a debate with Ashton and Michael about something to do with our last physics midterm since they were both in our program, and Calum staring off into space with his hand around his beer. Surveying the table, I saw the only spot left was next to Calum, those fuckers. Plopping down I let out a huff, placing my drink on the table. This was enough to snap Char out of her conversation.

“Yo what’s up with you?” She questioned giving me a puzzled look.

“I saw Ben when I was at the bar.” I replied twirling my straw through my drink.

“Woah wait Ben’s here?” Sierra piped from the other side of the table.

“Who the fuck is Ben?” Ashton mused looking around the table at what was transpiring. Before I could respond, Charlotte explained.

“He’s the asshole who cheated on Nat a month ago, and then stole her chem notes so she failed the last midterm.”

Wide eyes and little chirps of yikes were thrown, causing me to down my drink in response. I’m gonna need a little liquid courage to get through tonight.

“Well that’s what you get for dating a guy named Benjamin.” I turned to my right to look at Calum who just chuckled at my reaction, reaching over and grabbing his beer from his hand, I downed the entire thing too, smacking it on the table as I wiped my mouth and locked my eyes onto his look of disbelief. Correction, I’m gonna need a LOT more alcohol to get through tonight.

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As the night progressed, dancing ensued, and plenty more drinks were consumed. Feeling a little more than just buzzed, but definitely not shit-faced, I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t having fun dancing with my best friends, but every time I looked up all I could see was Ben’s shitty smirk and every time it managed to knock me down a few pegs. This time was the last straw, as I turned to my friends and motioned drinking water, finding my way back to our table, I sat down and pulled out my phone. After a few minutes of scrolling aimlessly a figure plopped down, opposite of me, expecting it to be Ben I didn’t look up.

“Awn little benny boo got you down love.” Okay, definitely not Ben, I looked up to be met with the smirk of Calum.

“Aye, fuck off Calum.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He replied leaning forward with his elbows on the table. “What if I told you I had an idea?”

“Well I’d tell you to shove it somewhere the sun doesn’t shine.”

“Damn, aren’t we snarky tonight. But just hear me out okay, Ben keeps looking at you trying to make you jealous, and even if he was an asshole you still kind of have feelings for him, right?” I nodded along, not really knowing where this conversation was going. “Well how about we dance a little too close for comfort, and hope he gets the message?”

My eyebrows furrowed as I thought about his offer in my head, Calum was attractive there’s no doubt, and if things turned out differently maybe I would have pursued something there. My mind then flashed to what Char had said earlier, and this too could be used as an opportunity to fuck with them as well.

“Say I was thinking of taking you up on your offer, we’re going to need shots first.” I cocked an eyebrow at him. Slapping his hands together, he climbed around the table, and put his hand out as if I should lead the way. Rolling my eyes at him but leading the way to the bar. Once there I could feel him pressing against me. “Guess it starts now huh?”

Moving my hair out of the way, chills ran down me as I felt his hot breath on my skin, whispering into my ear I hear him say, “Cute band tee by the way, someone could almost say you’re copying my style.”

My breath hitched at the sudden closeness, and I couldn’t get attention of the bartender faster, needing those drinks now. All I could hear was chuckle from Calum as he moved from behind me to beside me.

“Cheers.” He states as raising his shot and downing it, before taking the second one and doing the same. “C’mon let’s go dance.”

Grabbing my hand and leading me to where my friends were dancing on the dance floor, Calum spun me around, so I was in front of him and placed his hands on my hips. Looking up Sierra and Char had puzzled looks on their faces and mouths open as if about to speak, raising my hand to silence them, I melted into Calum, slowly grinding my hips to whatever song was playing. Friends who kind of hate each other can still dance with each other, right? Closing my eyes and further sinking into him, I let one hand rest on his on my hip, the other going to the back of his neck playing with the hair at the tap of his neck. Hearing him groan in response, I smirked to myself. The swaying continued, and I kept my hold on his hair, his free hand that I wasn’t holding would drift up my side, or around and to my butt making me tense and giggle anytime he hit a spot that kind of tickled. It felt weird to say that I was enjoying this, it’s been so long since I’ve just carelessly danced with a guy at a bar. Finally letting my eyes flutter open I looked dead ahead of me, already seeing Ben, eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape, before turning around and storming away from the girl he was with. Spinning myself so I was now face-to-face with Calum, I wrapped my arms around his neck leaning forward to whisper in his ear. “Looks like it worked, thanks for the help handsome.”

Kissing his cheek before coming to stand straight, I turned to Char and Sierra, letting them know I was gonna head out and that I would see them at home. Sierra yelled out a quick, “Text me when you get home.” I weaved my way out of the bar to stand outside waiting for my uber.

“Hey Nat, wait up!” I spun around to see Calum walking towards me scratching the back of my neck. “You mind if I crash at yours? I’m pretty sure Ashton’s gonna bring a girl home and my rooms next to his and the walls are too thin, and I just don’t wanna hear that and yeah.”

I studied Calum and suddenly the man that’s usually so sure of himself looked nervous? If it was any other night I would say no, and maybe it’s because my inhibitions are lowered due to all the alcohol, and I kind of do owe him for how he helped me out tonight. So before I could even stop the words coming out of my mouth I said, “Uh yeah sure, my uber’s about to be here any minute.”

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if this has any typos i dont claim them

#calum hood #calum hood imagine #calum thomas hood #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum 5sos #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos imagine #5sos imgaines #calum hood fic #calum hood fanfic #calum hood blurb #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos blurb #calum hood blurbs #5sos blurbs

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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morning light {John Deacon}

Anon asked: do you think you can write more fluff for deacy like a lil “morning after”ish bc i’m sad and i love him

A/N: 1877 words. I’m in sever pain and my ankle Hurt. I just want BoRhap’s Another One Bites The Dust!Deaky to tell me it’s going to be okay so picture him, and also just pretend he’s not married please and thank. Not exactly what the prompt asked for but God i’m a sap.

It’s... it’s weird waking up in the morning, and he’s still there, sprawled out beneath the duvet, morning light peaking through the curtains. Not weird bad, just weird. You didn’t really think you’d get this far; you’d been working as an assistant for the company that produced a majority of their music videos, and somewhere along the way, they’d started remembering you. Well, actually, John started remembering you.

It had started with ‘We Are The Champions’, in which you had the tedious job of being more or less an usher for the audience, though it was just a small crowd. While you were seating a particularly excited bunch close to the front, you look up for a moment to see the band warming up, and John Deacon smiling fondly at the excited audience members, before he looks to you. For just a moment, you share a look, and he gives a single nod of solidarity, which you return, before you both go back to your jobs.

When you show up to the filming of ‘We Will Rock You’, practically freezing your ass off in Roger’s backyard, you debate ever getting in to the music industry, and offer to go get coffee and tea for everyone as something to keep you moving.

“I remember you.” You’re so focused on the warmth of the drinks in your hands that you’re surprised when someone says more than ‘thank you’ when you give them theirs. It’s John, smiling at you, shivering, and holding the styrofoam mug so tightly you’re a little afraid it might burst.

“You do?” You answer, and his smile turns amused, before your brain kicks into gear. “I- yeah, I was there for the last shoot.” You agree. “I’m Y/N. I’d shake your hand but-” You gesture helplessly, both hands holding trays of drinks.

“Well it’s lovely to meet you, Y/N, I’m John.” He says, as if you don’t know, and you have to bite back a giggle. It’s then, when he sees the way you smile, and can feel his answering smile brighten, that he decides he likes you.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you too.” You nod at him and he thanks you for his tea before you move on to the others, only preening a little bit when they praise you for bringing them warmth on the cold, winter day. ‘I remember you’ plays in your head on repeat; you can’t stop thinking about it, about the way he grinned at you like he’d know you his whole life, and you realise a few days later, when you’re still dwelling on it, you don’t even remember how cold it had been, just his smile.

“We really have to stop meeting like this.” On the set of ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ you’re the one everyone turns to as the go-between for the band and the crew, seeing as how you’d been working with them for over a year at this point. Now, you’re holding out a water bottle to John, pulse a little quick when he fixes you with a surprisingly affectionate grin of thanks, “I was asked to give you guys these.”

“Is that the water I asked for? That was quick; Y/N you’re a bloody legend.” You hear Roger call from behind you, bounding down from behind the drums to snag one of the other three bottles from your arms. John stays quiet as he takes the drink from you, watching Roger with an amused smile.

“I’m parched, thank you, dear.” Freddie takes the second, and after you and John share a look, an endeared smile at the grabby but thankful nature of the others, you turn, raising the final water bottle above your head.

“Brian?” You call, and he looks up from where he’s been tuning his guitar.

“Is that for me?” He asks, and you nod with a smile. He comes to collect the drink, and they all disperse back to their original places.

“We really do have to stop meeting like this; it’s what, the fifth time?” John finally agrees once they’re out of earshot, and you turn back to him, grinning.

“Sixth, actually.” You say, and he nods, making a face like he’s cataloguing the information in the back of his mind.

“Six, wow,” and after a beat, his gaze returns to yours, “six videos and I’ve never seen you at a wrap party?” At that you duck your head with a chuckle.

“I work during the week.” It’s easy to admit; it’s not that you dislike parties, persay, but you’re also not fond of turning up to your day job hungover. John hums, low and thoughtful.

“You should come to tonight’s.” He says, and you hesitate for a moment, looking up in confusion. “You don’t have to drink or anything - ignore whatever Freddie and Roger say - but it’d be nice to have you.” After a beat, he shrugged with a small smile. “But only if you want to, of course.” And you can’t help the small, pleased smile that makes it’s way onto your face as you head back to your station.

You do attend the party, squirrel yourself away on a sofa in the corner of the room, nursing your drink and talking to a revolving door of people who are getting progressively drunker as the night goes on. It’s getting close to midnight, however, when John finally joins you. The two of you had had a few conversations during the night, but he was inevitably pulled away by someone else, and you didn’t like to admit to the sinking sensation in your chest.

He asks you if you’re enjoying it, but your answering smile and nod is unconvincing. Truth be told, you were feeling a little lonely, a little out of place, and a little Cinderella having to still get up tomorrow at a reasonable hour. As soon as you admit you’re thinking of heading home, he offers to join you, to make sure you’re safe, telling you it’s no trouble when you try to wave off his kindness.

Your home is within walking distance, and you’re thankful for the breezy Spring air as you walk through the streets talking about everything and nothing with John by your side. He’s got his hands tucked in his pockets, and at one point you tuck your arm into his; he doesn’t comment on it, but you can see him smiling.

You’re an adult enough to admit to yourself that you’d developed a crush on him, observant enough to know he liked you well enough too, unsubtle enough that Roger had told you to get a move on, though he had been quite drunk at the time. As you walk, you’re not sure what’s holding you back, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything.

It turns out, you don’t have to, at your doorstep, he hesitates after saying goodbye, before quickly leaning in and kissing you on the cheek.

“Sleep well.” He says fondly, turning to leave. You reach out, grabbing his hand and he turns back in surprise, and you step forward to press your lips to his, soft and chaste. He’s actually blushing a little when you move back, seems a little surprised.

“You too.” You tell him, voice gentle and fond, and you head inside, catching his flustered smile as you look back over your shoulder.

He gets your number during the next video shoot, or rather, after.

“I should have your number.” Is what he actually says, voice serious like he’s been musing about it for a long time, despite the fact that he’s naked in your bed, a little out of breath, fingers linked with yours as you both take a moment. You’re heart’s still racing and you’re still in quite a heady state, and all you can do is laugh, warm and bright into the darkness of the bedroom.

You wake up the next morning and he’s still there, one arm around you where you’ve got your head on his chest. There’s an anxiety, an uncertainty in your chest, tension creeping into your muscles due to this change, this development in your relationship. But then he wakes up, voice rough with sleep, giving you an easy grin in the morning light as he greets you.

He’s warm and secure, he always has been, but it’s strange to have such solid confirmation, to feel his arms around you and feel like nothing could move you from that spot if you didn’t want it to.

He calls you, actually follows through and asks you out, and the next thing you know, the two of you are sitting in a fancy restaurant on an actual date. He’s so unwavering genuine, in his smile, his words, in the warmth he gives off; when you talk, you knows he’s actually listening to what you’re saying.

You learn he’s an engineer; he sort of fell into music, but he’s always had a passion for electronics, and after a few weeks, he shows you the amp he built (and then the false one he built for his mini fridge, which delights you). And then he’s plugging in his record player into the amp, puts on some old jazz single you didn’t really think he’d own, and he’s offering you his hand.

Taking it, you do actually giggle at the whole situation, a little bit flustered by the sweetness of it all. You’ve seen him dance on stage, of course, in videos, but here he wraps an arm around you, swaying gently in his studio, the carpet soft beneath your bare feet. As the music picks up a little, he gently prompts you to twirl, and when you’re back in his arms, there’s nothing but adoration in his eyes. You can’t help but kiss him.

The music keeps playing, but it’s like the two of you are frozen in time, the world falling away around you as you kiss him. Still holding each other like you’re dancing, his grip tightens just a little on your waist, his thumb brushes yours where your hands are linked before he lets go, moving to hold steady on your other hip while you wind your arms around his neck.

The song comes to an end, but neither of you break apart. The world feels right, here.

So even now, almost a year later, it’s weird to wake up in the morning, sometimes, and see him there, after everything he’s done in his life, all the places he’s been, and he’s still by your side. He takes your breath away sometimes, when he doesn’t even mean to, like now he’s not even awake but he’s so serene and you woke up holding his hand and you felt like your heart might burst.

“Good morning, darling.” Voice scratchy, he yawns, and you press an affectionate smile against his shoulder, a little embarrassed for still being so sappy after all this time. His free hand is gentle when he coaxes you up, pressing a kiss to your lips, amused and endeared. “What’s gotten you all smiley?” He asked, and you kiss him again.

“I just love you is all.” You tell him, and his smile brightens in the early morning light.

“I love you too.”

#john deacon #john deacon x reader #john deacon imagine #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #queen #queen imagines #queen imagine #fluff #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #the angry lizard writes

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rogertaylcr · 5 years ago

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its alright if its long! i asked bc i was curious, id love a long answer

OKAY HERE IS THE SUPER LONG ANSWER, it’s self indulgent and, dare I say, Boring as shit -- but it’s the full answer to how/when/why I started drumming -- it is also 1.5k words long so it’s under a read more

so I started like drumming in a serious way i would say like a year and a halfish ago which isn’t a super long time I know but theres a tediously long story behind it which you asked for so don’t blame me for how long this is cause dude i know it’s long

The why of it is actually pretty short though. So my house is a music house, my mom plays a bunch of instruments and sings and my dad listens to a bunch of music so theres a lot of musical passion (even when theres no talent necessarily). As a kid, like 3-4 like EARLY memory, I remember listening to bohemian rhapsody and hearing the drums specifically, which idk if this is universal but for a lot of songs for awhile i just didn’t hear the drums as like part of the song really, and with bohemian rhapsody they were just so clear, like i could hear the heartbeat of the song. (this was the first song I felt that with but definitely not the only one, baba oreilly was another one that i made me realise the life of the song comes from the drums) When I was .... like 6-7, a beatles doc came on MTV and I saw Ringo drumming during the early beatles years and he was standing and stomping the hi hat and bass and there was just so much movement and power behind it and so much more fun in my opinion than the other instruments and i was like “i wanna be the one giving songs their heartbeats”. The more i got into a bunch of other, new and old, bands the more i was like This Has To Be Me. I had always been a fidegty person who was drumming to shit anyway but like the idea that that could translate into like something palatable and musical and entertaining and LOUD was News™ to me and I wanted to do that, but at the time I only knew a bit of piano and like a single chord on guitar and, like a lot of people’s parents, my parents saw creative fields as really unstable/unrealistic so I was like “well obvious it would be nice to be a loud drummer but I’m going to be a business person” (this is how cynical i was as a child).

the WHEN of it is a longer story, like it isn’t actually cause the actual answer is that i’ve been seriously drumming for about 1.5 years but theres like more to it imo

When i was in the third grade, instruments were compulsory at school so we all had to choose and buy one to learn on as well as basic piano lessons. I wanted to play the drums as “my instrument” at that time BUT my school didn’t have the budget or the space really to accommodate that (i would've had to buy my own kit and haul it to and from the school which didn’t make sense for me to do for someone who hadn’t ever touched drums) AND they didn’t have a teacher that could really teach drums, our percussion section was just a xylophone and some cymbals it was a school of like 2000 kids so :/

So I learned clarinet and then when i was 10, in the fifth grade, my older sister’s friend stopped playing saxophone and got permission to bring her drums in. We only had an orchestra so our teacher had to write her music for/with her which was cool but anyway. She left her drums at school and i knew her and so while i was supposed to be in the practice room playing clarinet i was trying semi-fruitlessly to drum. I knew i wanted to drum by any means necessary but like I was 10 and since i had no guidance (and no proper sticks i was using xylophone mallets) I didn’t think I was “good” at it and when we moved away I took that as a sign that it wasn’t meant to be.

When we got to america I joined school bands (as in orchestra/concert band) as a clarinet player once again, I still wanted to be drumming and i was in a public school by then so i had access to like “school drums” but I was so far behind the not-self-taught drummers in the actual band that I just like decided I had to focus on what I was already good at which was my art and dove into the upper level art program which like GOOD cause that made life worth living but it also meant the only time I could drum was when I was at this one friends house or had access to the band hall and like I just couldn’t keep the improvements i’d made, like i’d perfect a song and then have zero access for a couple weeks (except to like stand alone snares but :/ ) and i’d have to start over essentially and it was SUPER discouraging and it made me feel like I wasn’t making any progress

In the meantime I was trying to get my musical fix by learning guitar/piano and piano came back to me pretty quickly (its gone again now) but guitar like.....you can’t hit it lmao, piano i could slam the keys how i wanted to and get that really great loud resonating sound and i could stand to play and get more movement out of it but guitar is tedious in a way that other instruments aren’t imo, like the sound is loud but the movement is very precise and i never had the patience for that

when I got to college I really had to focus on my art especially the first two years, I literally lived in the studio (im not exaggerating, the students in my major and I had a janitorial bathroom set aside for showering) so pretty much all of my hobbies got tossed aside those two years it was grueling, fun but also hell

Junior year came and i had like 30% of my time back and i was like considering switching majors. I knew i didn’t want to do animation but also you can’t just switch into music at a university, you have to be pretty accomplished already and percussion at my school is HUGE like i would’ve had to be roger himself to have a chance of switching in. On top of that the degree isn’t super useful so I now have my Bachelors of Science. But by junior year i KNEW i didn’t wanna do that, I knew i wanted/i want to drum so I.... licherally................went to the library and printed like 50 pieces of paper each with three flyers on them and cut them up and put them up ALL over campus essentially begging for access to a drum kit. I could only afford like a couple hours on this one guys kit every few weeks for one semester (and then the following semester i did a semester away, they had drums at the school there but i only got access like a total of 5 times) so when i came back to america I did the exact same thing, I put up flyers in the music building and eventually i found a girl who let me use her drums for free all year, she gave me access like last august? I think? and just now has packed them away in the last month or so, and i would literally go into this tiny stuffy unairconditioned room (that had an automatic light timer so i’d be in the dark halfway through a song ahsdkhajkda and a couple times the heat got to me and i had to go outside and sit in my car w/ the AC before coming back in ahdjkahdjkasdjka) and drum for about 6-8 hours MWF and maybe like 3-4 hours T/TR which i know isn’t as much as some people but like I had school work still so I couldn’t do too much more. (it worked out great cuase i only took 7 hours my last two semesters so it was like something i could do while all my friends were in class and they weren’t open on weekends so my social life didn’t get fucked up) and like i know i haven’t been drumming drumming that long comparatively to like normal people who start at age -2 and are born with a snare in their laps but you spend that much time each week doing something and you’ll get good you just like… have to and I like where I’m at right now, I think I’ll always have super severe imposter syndrome abt my skill level b/c of how long it took me to get here and being an overcritical perfectionist doesnt help but yeah

i really dont think its a coincidence that my coming out (to myself) coincided with when I said “fuck it im gonna play drums come hell or high water” but SUPER LONG AND OVERLY DETAILED story short, I heard roger drum and said “if i dont do that ill die” and then when i finally had the resources i drummed myself into multiple heat strokes and i recently saw roger live so the universe rewarded me for all that shit

#AND THERE YOU HAVE IT #my boring journey to mediocrity #im sorry if its like hard to read i don't do well with 'punctuation' ahsdkadkja #personal #ill probably delete this later cause its kind of annoying asdhajksdhasj #Anonymous #asks

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Ali & Carly

Ali: . . . – – – . . . Carly: ? Carly: nodded on your phone Ali: OG 🍑📞 Ali: nah save me Carly: it's pretty lemme just grab a 💄 really quick Carly: what's up baby? Ali: you are and I need distracting Ali: got band practice and I really have to Ali: missed the last two so she's dead moody Carly: go solo ill play a tambourine for you Carly: until you get famous anyway Ali: we'll get you those noise cancelling headphones they give to rockstars kids Ali: then you just gotta close your eyes n shine Carly: aw Carly: you're a 🍑 Carly: but before then I know how to sweeten up rockstars Carly: lots of jd is 🔑 yea so ill swipe ronans & its a party Ali: know that'll go down a treat Ali: almost as good as the ego stroke of calling them rockstars Carly: y you asked me its a not so hidden talent of mine Carly: strokes where needed Ali: 🎨 Ali: alright monet Ali: I'll try not to make it completely boring Carly: i have to take 5 to finish up here or he'll be dead moody Carly: so he's all you have to be more fun than Carly: & whats more boring than a horny lad when ur not feeling it Ali: easy Ali: I remember being that bored Ali: less memory more reliving but shh Ali: all fun and games yeah ✌ Carly: yea Carly: he gets it over quick tho some go & go without getting u anywhere Carly: ha Carly: ive got a home to go to sometimes boy Ali: he's very considerate like that Carly: i wont share it w him too big of a word for rn Carly: wheres this practice @ Ali: 'course not Ali: all he needs to hear is biggest and best Ali: memory serves Ali: in one of the other's garage Ali: so punk rock Ali: I'll come meet you Carly: long as he can call me a slut & I make the right noises it dont matter what I say Carly: thats every lad on here Carly: k well he's done so direct me Carly: u dont wanna meet me outside here Ali: if that's your jam, go off Ali: you mean you don't trust me not to 👊 your mans 😏 Ali: I started walking, call me a pessimist, Ronan 🤷 Carly: yea u kno for a good time call any of these caravans Carly: the old lady w the gnomes is a dark horse like Carly: i don't want u to see me looking this way ty ronan 💘 Carly: so rough about everything Carly: him & u ha Ali: she's living my dream, I remember her Ali: the pink trailer, like Ali: shoulda been going to see her if not you Ali: 🤡 Ali: you alright? Ali: you need a sec or Ali: idk, anything else Carly: her cats are living my dream Carly: lying in the sun all day, getting fat Carly: being loved whenever they ask Carly: i need a drink but im taking all of his its k Ali: duh Ali: only had it slightly better in ancient Egypt, like Ali: forever goals Ali: we'll drink it on the way Ali: need to see where to put their fingers Ali: not code for gay shit but like Ali: also Carly: theres lots they can have some as promised Carly: he owed me for all the 💊 Ali: you're sweet Carly: we can get your gf ☕ to dump it in thats the adult thing to do Carly: trying to make her happy not more mad Ali: she's 17 Ali: she just fronts a good game Ali: suppose one of us should Ali: #badgirlfriend Carly: ur the best wife tho Carly: ive missed u Ali: 😚 Ali: comments like that are why I've deffo missed you more Carly: aw Carly: comments like urs r why ill make today really fun for u Ali: 💚 Ali: we can make anything a party yeah Carly: yea Carly: but u gotta help me carry these drinks to cos i think my wrist was broken from all the coaxing that boy needs when hes been on it Ali: ugh, the struggle is so real Ali: though if you use that as an ice breaker they're all gonna look at you blankly Ali: fucking lesbian priviledge amirite Carly: i bet at least one of them's hurt their wrist trying to get a girl off Carly: half who go to our school r so uptight you need to check for sticks Carly: catholic guilt be like Ali: 😂 real Ali: but you gotta be on my side Ali: already outnumbered Ali: team bi for the day okay Carly: so i can talk about masturbating with my grandma's jesus cross or i cant Ali: you can Ali: that's a story whoevers company Ali: 'cept grandma, obvs Carly: punk rock enough? Carly: if theyre all as scary as ur lesbian im shotgunning more beers Carly: bag of recycling before we even get to the garage Ali: when she cares about the 🌍 Ali: 😍 Ali: they ain't, if we're being real Carly: dont want the earth to die Carly: its so pretty Carly: & fun Carly: k i wont have every can Carly: before we get there Ali: 👼🌟🌈🍓🐰👸 Ali: you Ali: and I'm literally just 'round the corner hold on Ali: not dragging my feet 'cos of you babe Carly: ur too sweet Carly: are you the singer & the guitarist or do they make you just do one cos youre too big of a 🌟 Ali: got it in one babe, I'm relegated to guitar #2 most the time Ali: at least you can own the stage more when you ain't so Carly: ill tell them you need to be 1st guitar & lead singer you're too talented for it to go to waste Carly: its sad Carly: but its cute that youre in a band together Ali: you wanna be backup baby? Carly: yea but i cant 😢😢 Ali: you can when it's just us though Ali: you're too pure for rock n roll anyway Ali: their brand of Carly: how you said that makes me think i need to drink more Ali: it's a good thing about you Ali: just saying though, my voice will be fucked by the end of this Carly: ill get you some 🍯 baby Carly: you can be 👼 again in no time Carly: church ready Ali: only if you coming with Ali: 😈 Carly: only if we do some more sinning first Carly: make it worth the walk Ali: naturally Ali: how we do Carly: k Carly: are all the band dating each other or just you two Ali: 😏 more and more apparent how straight you ain't tbh Ali: currently off again, I think Ali: they've all dated each other though, every which way you can combo it Carly: i have met a lesbian before ur rescued me @ that party Carly: been hit on by lots Carly: i kno they like to date in circles & all kinds of other shapes Ali: I bet Carly: aw don't be jealous Carly: i didnt like it Carly: ur my fave Ali: I'm not Ali: am glad I ain't giving off those predatory vibes though Ali: good to know, like Carly: you give off the best vibes Ali: 👼 energy, baby Carly: 🌟💙 Ali: let's hit 'em with it Carly: yea Ali: after she can drive us to a decent shindig 🤞 Carly: me & a car full of gays Carly: ronan will be in a mood ha Ali: always a bonus Ali: also always in a mood Ali: they really would get on if she could get over the whole man hate vibe Carly: ill bring him to the next rehearsal Carly: he thinks hes got what it takes Ali: 😏 Ali: I'll put my money on Mar Ali: poor boy Carly: steals my 🎸 every time he comes over Carly: i cant be impressed that you can play 2 chords baby boy I'm sorry Ali: 😩💦 Ali: even as relegated #2 I can do more than that Ali: promise Carly: me too & im only groupie #1 Carly: he still tries to teach me tho Carly: so boring Ali: 🙄 Ali: what a dickhead Ali: he just wants to be behind you to 'position' your hands, boys love that shit don't they Ali: I know how to play pool too so get off Carly: we should play my da taught me Carly: make some money & have some fun Ali: I'm down Carly: k Carly: cos i need to buy more 💊s he really did eat them all Carly: 😢😢 Ali: Babe Ali: I know a reliable lad Ali: invite him Ali: make it a party Carly: yea me & him been up since i saw you last how long ago was that? forever it feels Carly: be more fun away from site Ali: damn Ali: how the other half live Ali: I feel like I haven't had any fun since I last saw you Ali: get enough to take the edge of your comedown if nothing else or that'll be rough Carly: i wanted to invite u my baby but u kno how he gets Carly: hates that weve met Carly: ill make you feel good now promise Carly: hes had too much of my time Ali: worried that Imma tell you horror stories like you don't know him? Ali: backatcha 💚 Ali: swear Carly: yea he thinks my head's empty Carly: just a body like Carly: not that weve done school for years together or anything Carly: i kno i dont always go but boy come on Ali: you're miles ahead of him Ali: he only acts like he reckons that 'cos he don't want you coming to your senses and binning him off proper, like Carly: ur lil bro writes & reads better Carly: but hes a smart lil cutie Carly: what am i gonna do move the caravan in the middle of the night? no wheels is there Carly: stuck as fwb til he gets married his wife finds out & comes for me Ali: yeah he likes you too Ali: always chatting on when you coming 'round again so you know Ali: better hang some more, for his sake Ali: I know you got locks Carly: aw i love him Carly: always wanted a lil bro but my rents dont fuck no more so that ain't happening Carly: unless my dad knocks up someone younger Carly: u kno id lock myself out & end up round there Carly: ha Ali: lil blue pills don't fail us now Ali: ick Ali: should go to casa flamenco Ali: don't think she'd steal your stash Ali: oldies always have their own, the real good shit too Carly: that what ur calling it Carly: ill steal hers Ali: exactly Ali: 😍 #babe Ali: ronan who Carly: i do go older but not sure i could handle peeling back the wrinkles Ali: weak 😉 Carly: you seduce her for me, thats love Carly: & you wanna be under her anyway Ali: 'scuse you Ali: I'm happily married Carly: me too Carly: pimping me out to the older generation wasnt in the vows were it Ali: could've been Ali: you know how creative I am Carly: yea i do love that about you Ali: I 👀 you Ali: [runs up and takes some of the shit] Carly: [unnecessarily long hug moment because always] Ali: ['it does feel like forever'] Carly: [just rambling on about how much she's missed her & like all the compliments for how she looks/what she's wearing etc cos again always] Ali: [lbr she'd go all out for rehersals even so it would be a look, Ali lowkey fixing Carly up whilst checking 'cos was concerned but not gonna make it a Thing tm] Carly: [save her Ali she looks like shit rn & your gf don't need to be seeing her like that] Ali: [finishing by kissing her nose 'cos that is a thing] Carly: [😳 but really happy obvs & another hug cos they really have missed each other so] Ali: [walking and talking baby] Carly: [& letting Ali catch up with all the drinks Carly's had] Ali: [giving her the lowdown on the other bitches who are clearly not as scary as kstew] Carly: [you'd think she's not listening because 1. state of her & 2. how distracting Ali is in her lewk but she is] Ali: [is like soz it's boring but I'll make it fun] Carly: [she's like its not you're just pretty & also I'm saving you & making it fun] Ali: ['not about to beg but please do'] Carly: ['knew I should've locked that down in the vows' cos being flirty with it] Ali: ['too late now babe, 'less you make me wanna renew'] Carly: [is just like yeah okay will do, soz kstew but we know its true so] Ali: [turning up to your function, imagine kstews face oop] Carly: [Carly handing the booze out cos she's a babe while kstew talks shit on her by pulling Ali aside like we said] Carly: u want me to go? Ali: [Ali tryna explain but also being kinda over this mood like why can't she be here, u lowkey know why but you know] Ali: no Ali: don't Ali: I'll sort it Carly: k Carly: [Carly just drinking a little bit too hard cos the vibe is wrong & her anxiety don't need this thank you ladies] Ali: [just walking away and being like okay come on let's start 'cos can't argue if you're playing] Carly: [pissing about on some spare instruments while they're setting up cos awks] Ali: I've text the lad Ali: reckons 10 minutes 👍 Carly: 💙🌟 Carly: ty Ali: [ooh crimson and clover 'cos joan did it and it'd be a sexy moment so blatantly directed at carly] Carly: [Carly literally 😍 harder than her gf is, oops] Carly: [& so many compliments as soon as the song is over before kstew can get a word in, god bless] Ali: [gently/not being a patronizing dick with it showing her dance moves and stuff like getting her involved without being like you have to perform now lol] Carly: [k stew fuming like now the WARM UP is done we should play OUR songs we all know the type like excuse you everyone is having fun especially my sweet baby angel] Ali: [being like oh but I just learnt this song it's got a good bass bit we should do that, overruled lol] Carly: [has to go with it cos no argument she can make that won't sound petty as hell and not trying to look like that bitch in front of the squad] Ali: [doing electric feel for the gay sexiness] Carly: [Carly even more into it cos a song she knows cos lets say she don't know the glory of our cat song just because so its such a moment okay bye] Carly: [Marlene calling a 🚬 break immediately after cos fuming & that can also be when Drew comes] Ali: [as if you weren't fuming enough there's how a man here 😍 at your woman, also giving them droogs] Carly: [meanwhile Carly ain't noticed cos sharing a 🚬 with the prettiest & least intimidating lesbian perched on her lap like so cosy....way to kill Ali babe we know she's special but let her know please] Carly: [hops off to get her drugs but still a moment] Ali: [these other girls just stirring the pot rn lmao] Carly: [that girl being like you should come out with us & Carly's like yeah cos she's pure] Ali: you know this one's flirting with you too, yeah? Ali: 😏 Carly: ha Carly: shes nice Ali: yeah Ali: pretty cute Carly: u kno the dealer wants to fuck you tho yea Carly: hes pretty Ali: obvs Ali: his hairs a bit naff but yeah Carly: ur gf is gonna drag him out by it Carly: let me slip him my number first ty Ali: lol 🙄 Ali: better you have his, no Ali: 💊 Ali: idk why she's the fun police today Carly: k good idea Carly: [goes to get his deets] Carly: she's so mad Carly: u gotta love me more when shes not around Ali: i ain't done nothing Carly: shes jealous of me like i am of her Carly: two girls one 💙 Carly: [lowkey flirting with Drew before he gets thrown out] Ali: hmm Ali: maybe you can duel Ali: [helping herself 'cos they clearly got enough to go around 'cos Drew's easy lol] Carly: 😢😢 Carly: you want me to be killed Ali: don't be silly Ali: not very gentlemanly of her, she'd never Ali: for someone so punk she loves following rules you know Carly: y u like her or y ur bored? Ali: [casually loling at her phone like what you think] Carly: [a moment of eye contact soz kstew] Carly: y dont i kno this lad? Ali: idk Ali: he wasn't always that cocky Ali: maybe his pubes came in Carly: ha Carly: ill find out Carly: gotta b known as the school slag not the girl who pissed herself on the stage Ali: more catchy Ali: I get it Carly: u only remember our wedding day i kno but it tends to stick in everyone else's memories Carly: a day of bad vibes Ali: I remember you but not like that Carly: hope its not worse Carly: how you do Carly: [casually taking too many 💊 to deal with the bender she's been on with the gypsies, you know Drew will remember her like this] Ali: nah Ali: you were cute Ali: and nice when all these random english kids showed up Carly: cos you were cuter Carly: im always nice to the pretty ones Ali: 💘 Ali: s'a good line walsh, you get it off him n all Carly: 💔😢 Carly: i love you i dont need him feeding me those kind of lines Carly: we gotta crush some of these tho its gonna take forever to kick in Ali: only joking baby don't be sad Ali: [comes over and helps 'cos why not kstew already furious her band practice has descended into anarchy] Carly: [using a shoe she's wearing for once to crush pills casually but stops to put her head on Ali's shoulder cos is sad lowkey] Ali: [gives her top of the head kisses] Carly: [is smiling again & telling her how much she missed her again and all that good gay content while Marlene fumes in the distance] Ali: [whispers like sorry for the bad vibes and I am gonna fix this 'cos she knows it's been fucked but realistically don't know what she's doing about it yet 'cos where do we stand] Carly: [kisses her on the forehead cos that big brain always thinking & worrying & she know] Carly: u wanna 👃 or 👅? Ali: 👃 Carly: yea dont want a numb mouth Carly: no fun Ali: probably would help my throat but kinda 'bout that smokes and drinks a 40 a day vibe so Ali: soz to my nasal cavity in advance Carly: the 🍯 is coming as promised Carly: [puts enough powder in her hand for Ali to snort, how intimate excuse them like she could have used her own hand or any surface Carly but go off] Ali: you're sweet enough darling Ali: [soz kstew just gals being pals 'cos obvs returning the favour and 'holding her hair out the way' aka stroking it] Carly: [when you more about that intimacy than the drug you're trying to take] Carly: aw Ali: [moment being ruined by some kind of unignorable strop moment from marlene clearly so she has to go and have an argument brb] Carly: should i go now? Ali: wait for me Ali: please? Ali: outside if you like or whatever, I'm being selfish but Ali: I ain't staying either Carly: k Carly: [is outside quietly singing a little mash up of both gay covers while she waits, just little bits of lyrics she likes from each lol] Ali: [not tryna drag this out and clearly we can't let it get to let's break up point so] Carly: lets go have some real fun Ali: [when she comes out, resting her arms on her shoulders and spinning her 'round and 'round like let's go] Carly: [is loving life again bye bitches] Ali: ['we can do anything we wanna' means now but also like always] Carly: [is buzzing because her life is literally so stagnant already like what a welcome premise & hugs her cos that's what she wants to do, always gotta be touching] Ali: [and hand holding] Carly: [complimenting her AGAIN as they going along cos she's a really good singer tbf so] Ali: [chatting away 'bout the kinda music she wanna do and what the band is about and starting her own etc but also about how pretty Carly's voice is and how it's too precious for the stage anyway] Carly: [okay but after they've nerded out over music Carly be like 'wait for me' runs into a shop really quick & buys Ali some honey for real cos she that nerd & presents it to her really happily wrapped in her headscarf or something cos again nerd] Ali: [you know how buzzing and touched she'd be 'cos also that nerd, being like you're such an angel and imma get you something so special etc] Carly: [Carly like you gotta eat it tho & opens it right there like she gonna drip it into Ali's mouth if she don't how gaaaaaay, steals some with her finger too obvs cos cute but also accidentally sexy all the time] Ali: [winnie screeching in the distance] Carly: [gets a phone call from her mum & answers in this state cos no fucks given on either side & then turns to Ali like my turn to take you to a family bbq cos I think the contrast would be hilarious so we should but not now cos give them some alone time @ god] Ali: [is down 'cos she's not a snob unlike someone we know rosalin and she'd be lowkey about it 'cos any excuse to spend time] Carly: [ronan will 100% be there cos hilarious like you gotta fight him Ali tbh] Carly: [just rambling about how much she loves Ali rn though cos always] Carly: 💙🌟🐝👼🚀 Ali: [backatcha and dropping the charity shop plan] Carly: [is so down obvs like little kid levels of excited] Ali: [running thru the streets of dublin like babes] Carly: [god fucking bless] Ali: [charity shop crawl so wild like leave 'em be world] Carly: [like how pure that they think of cat lady Ro & kstew would never bitch] Ali: [probably making friends with all the nice old ladies in there/horrifying the old bitches tho too lol] Carly: [this is why Carly makes my heart hurt cos she'd wanna be friends but would probably horrify lol] Ali: [tbf they are high] Carly: [as per again let them live peeps its summer] Ali: [should steal something but like something really tiny and silly 'cos sinning and stealing from a charity shop is pretty bad in a cute way somehow lol] Carly: [but leaving shoes behind or something cos barefoot life so the universe is balanced] Ali: [and ali would buy stuff for 'em both but making sure carly knows this ain't THE gift 'cos wants to swag that lol] Carly: [okay but can they also come back to buy homewares for the caravan when she gets her own thanks bye] Ali: [absolutely, just window shopping rn how you do like 'when I have my own place' but saying we 'cos #married] Carly: [Ali can actually get one of the actual things when cos its still there, oh my heart]

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tilltheendwilliwrite · 7 years ago

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Qi Flows for Her

Chapter Five

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes | Word Count: 5112 Warnings: Language, angst

Celine made sure she was last onto the jet where she took Bucky’s previous seat in the back, darkened corner, as far away from the others as she could get. She snapped the hair band wrapped around her wrist, using the physical pain to remind herself to breathe. Her hair hung forward, hiding her face. Back to the straight, dark brown of before, she listened as they murmured about the rest of what they found and looked after Peter who had been knocked out for his own good.

God… that had hurt like rejection hadn’t hurt in years.

Hunched over, she leaned her face against the wall, the metal cool against her skin. A tear worked its way down her cheek. She’d known this was going to happen, had been saying so since the beginning. Yet, she’d still chanced to hope this time would be different. This time someone would see her for who she truly was and not react with fear.

Why do I bother to hope? She snapped the elastic at her wrist again.

“Celine…” The whisper of Charles' voice only made her flinch.

“Go away, Charles…”

“Darling, I can feel your pain.”

“Pain you have a part in instigating. Go away, Charles!”

“Celine… please…”

She sighed. “What did you expect? That I’d come here, reveal myself, and everything would be tea and crumpets? Go… the fuck… away!” She gave a mighty push and slammed her shields closed.

Her inner demons were relentless after. The voices of hate and disgust hissed and wailed in her head. The self-loathing caused her to wrap her hands around her middle. She was an abomination. A freak. A thing to be feared and despised. No one wanted her. No one would care if she just walked away.

Disappeared.

Died.

The phone in her pocket vibrated.

She ignored it.

It continued to go off for the next fifteen minutes straight, becoming an annoying vibration against her thigh until she finally dug it free. “What?” she sighed, expecting Charles.

“Little girl, next time you pick the fuckin’ phone up on the first ring!” The snarling voice of Logan had her lip twitching.

“Yes, papa,” she sassed.

“What the fuck happened, Celine?” he demanded.

Sighing, she glanced through her hair at the others speaking quietly away from her. “Can’t, Logan. Not now.”

“You’re on the plane?”

“Yeah.”

“Did they hurt you?” he snarled.

“No.”

“Not physically, you mean. Dammit, Charles! I told you sending her was a bad idea!”

It almost made her smile. The Wolverine was highly protective of those he called family. “I’m a big girl, Logan,” she murmured. “I tie my own shoes and everything. I’ll be fine.”

He huffed a dismissive bark of sound. “You ain’t fine! I can tell you ain’t fine! Do I need to come kick around a few super soldiers again? Cause I fuckin’ will!”

“The way I heard it, it sounded like a draw, though Steve said you’re a heavy son of a gun.”

“He’s one to talk,” Logan grumbled.

Leaning her head back against the wall, Celine smiled slightly. “Put up a bit of a fight, did he?”

He snorted. “Decent enough.”

“Good. You were getting full of yourself again.”

“Tricky little witch,” he scoffed. Silence descended for a few seconds before he murmured, “Celine… you can come home. I can replace you if you want.”

She wiped the tear from her cheek. “Nope. Charles sent me. I’m staying until they kick me out.” No matter how much it hurt.

“Look, if you’re doing this to punish Charles cause you’re pissed, then don’t. He’s already hurt you shut him out.”

This time she snorted. “He deserved it.”

“Yeah, probably,” he chuckled. “Take care of yourself, darlin’. And if you need me?”

“I’ll let you know, Logan. Tell Rogue I miss her.”

He grunted just before the line going dead.

She stuffed the phone back in her pocket and returned to her silent reflection, feeling only slightly better.

When the jet landed what felt like hours later, she was down the ramp and into the tower as if the hounds of hell were nipping her heels. To her mind, it wasn't far from the truth.

***

Steve and Bucky watched her go, neither knowing how to fix what they’d wrought.

Peter was alright, the bullet nothing more than a flesh wound, but the way the boy had reacted to her… they’d quite literally watched her heart break.

She was far more powerful than they’d realized. So much so, she’d plucked a soldier off the mountain and ate him before throwing something, likely his soul, into... hell? The underworld? Somewhere else? They had no idea.

Were they a little disconcerted? Sure. Who wouldn’t the hell be? But were they scared of her? No. The shock had kept them mute though, something they now realized had done a lot of harm.

She’d sat, huddled and silent in the corner, gradually curling in on herself, getting smaller with each passing moment until her phone had rung.

Steve had been about to go over and force her to answer when she’d finally dug it free on her own.

The irate voice of Logan was one he’d never forget, and he’d exchanged an eye roll with Bucky. He was a gruff son of a gun, but intensely loyal and protective, especially of Charles. Clearly, that protection extended to Celine.

Logan’s accusation, the comment about hurting her, had caused both of them to stiffen in offence. Her denial and his rewording had jabbed them both firmly with guilt.

Logan was right. They hadn’t hurt her physically. Emotionally? In her heart?

Yes.

“Shit,” Steve hissed softly once the others had exited.

“More like fuck, punk. We screwed up.” Bucky sighed, making his way toward Celine’s seat where he crouched down and swiped his fingers through the dark droplets on the floor. “She’s been bleeding.”

“What?” Steve jolted, coming quickly to Buck’s side.

“Yeah. We should check on her.”

“Pretty sure she doesn’t want to see us, pal.”

“So? We fucked up. We should fix it before it gets worse.” Bucky got to his feet and headed for the doors.

They walked in silence, both feeling intensely guilty.

She'd done some incredible things tonight, but they hadn’t told her so. Had her force been a little excessive? Sure, but seeing Peter take a bullet had Steve longing to hit the asshole sniper with his shield, so he understood how upset Celine must have been.

When Natasha stepped into the corridor, blocking them from getting on the elevator, Steve heard Bucky sigh and tried not to echo it.

“Need something, Nat?” Steve asked.

“I hope you get it now. You'll send her on her way?”

Steve frowned and shook his head. “Why? Celine’s part of this team.”

“Really!” she snapped. “After seeing what she did? What she is?”

“What I saw was a powerful woman who was treated like a freak tonight by her own team. Me included. She's still a person. Still Celine. Her powers don't make her anything different.”

“Shit! You've got a hard-on for her too! I knew Barnes was balls deep, but I expected better of you, Cap.”

Bucky’s hand wrapped around her throat and slammed her into the wall. “You're pushing the line, Natalia,” he snarled softly. “Celine may be Styx, she may be ridiculously powerful, but she's bruised, broken, and your snide comments aren't doing anyone any good!”

“She’ll destroy this team!”

“You said the same thing of me when Steve brought me in. The ghost. The Winter Soldier. The HYDRA weapon. Fuck you, Nat! She's no different!”

She blinked at him, stunned. “She's completely different! Did you not watch her kill a man tonight by eating his life force? Was that simply my imagination?”

“And I kill people with a gun or a knife. So what?”

“You're not about to take us all out in our sleep!”

“But I could if I wanted to!” he roared. “So could you, goddamnit, but you don't see any of us trying to shove you out the door!”

Laying a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, Steve urged his friend to let Natasha go. Once he had, Steve rounded on her himself. “You've taken issue with Celine since the moment she arrived. What's the beef, Nat? What's the real problem here?”

“This is the real issue! You're both so blinded by the hot new piece of ass; you can't see the danger she presents.”

“And me, Natasha? Am I also blinded by a hot piece of ass?” Wanda asked, appearing behind them. She looked at him, and Steve felt a clutch around his heart. The red wash of power in her eyes showed how disconcerted she was feeling. “But then, I am also one to be feared, to be treated like a freak. To be caged and collared because of what I am. What Hydra made me.”

“Wanda, no… I…” Natasha shook her head. “You're different.”

“How?” she asked coming closer. “I use similar powers. I can kill nearly as easily. You also locked me up to keep me away from people because I was a danger to society. Because you didn't trust me. Celine has shown me nothing but kindness after I have proved myself untrustworthy three times,” her voice rasped with self-hatred. “I keep telling myself, I cannot control other people's fear, only my own. Tonight… I failed at both.”

She walked away, and Steve's heart cracked. It appeared many of them were regretting what happened tonight.

“Celine is part of this team. She stays part of this team,” Steve said with finality.

“Fine. But my working with her comes as a last resort. I don't trust her to have my back.” Nat spun and headed away from where Wanda had gone.

Bucky waited only until she was out of earshot before muttering, “I'm not sure I trust you'll have hers.”

“Buck,” Steve sighed.

“I ain't ever seen her like this, Steve. She's been confrontational and just…”

“Nasty,” Sam muttered, wandering down the hall. “I'll go talk to her.”

“You alright with what happened tonight?” Steve asked.

“Alright?” He took a deep breath, eyes widening as he shrugged. “Not sure I’d say alright. Am I gonna throw a hissy fit? Nah. I kinda think Scott’s got the right idea. Better with us than against us.” He patted Steve's shoulder. “Am I gonna think twice about pissing her off? Hell yeah!” Chuckling, Sam continued on after Natasha.

“That's four,” Bucky murmured, a smirk twitching his lip. “Let's go poke the bear, see if she'll forgive us.”

“I think you mean the dragon. Damn that was cool,” Steve grinned.

“Now you sound like Parker.” Bucky’s face fell as they got on the elevator. “You think the kid will come round?”

Steve sighed. “Hope so.”

She’d been so happy spending time with Peter. Having the kid look at her in fear had just killed her.

When they stepped off the elevator, they had the answer hit them full force.

“Celine! Please!” Peter was standing outside her room, one hand pressed to his ribs, the other banging on her door. “I'm sorry! Let me explain!”

“Peter? Shouldn't you be in the med wing?” Steve asked sternly.

The kid shook his head. “Not until I apologize. Not until I tell her how sorry…” Pain took his breath, not all of it physical.

“Okay, kid.” Taking Peter by the elbow, Steve held him up. “How long you been here?” he asked.

Seeing as how the kid was still in his suit, he doubted Parker had even been to see Bruce, or if he had, the kid had snuck out.

“A while,” Peter mumbled.

“And she hasn't answered?”

Peter shook his head.

“FRIDAY located Celine.”

“Celine is on the roof. Captain? It appears she's is quite distraught. She is standing on the roof ledge.”

“What?!” Three voices bellowed before all of them scrambled for the elevator. It took them to the glassed-in common room where they barreled out the door to hit the exterior stairs which would take them to the roof.

Steve grabbed Peter's shoulder. “Are you alright to go around? If something goes sideways…” He didn't need to say Peter was the only one capable of catching Celine.

“I'm good, Cap!” Peter turned to go.

Steve dragged him back. “You stay out of sight. Let us talk to her before you do anything; you get me?”

“Yes, sir!” Peter nodded.

“Go.” He gave the kid a small shove and sprinted up the stairs after Bucky. His heart stuttered when she came into view.

Hair blowing back in the wind, balanced on the balls of her feet, she stood, hands relaxed at her sides, staring out over the city.

“Celine?” Bucky called quietly.

“Doll, you want to come down from there?” Steve asked, both of them edging closer.

Her head turned only enough to show them her profile. The tear streaks were impossible to miss. “Not particularly, Captain. I like the view.”

“Sweetheart, we'd really like it if you came down from there,” Bucky muttered, moving slowly forward.

“I am not your sweetheart, Sergeant. I am not your doll, your baby, your darlin’. I am Celine. I am… a vampire. I am Styx. And I am always to be feared.” She turned to walk the narrow edge of the building.

“Celine, please come down.” Steve would beg if he had to.

She paused, looked at him, and sighed. “You believe I do this, walk this ledge because I wish to hurt myself?” A snort of derision escaped her. “I wish to clear my mind, nothing more.” She turned back to face the city, turning her back on them. “I have no wish for company, especially from those who see me as something to be despised.”

Striding forward, Bucky reached for her arm only to have her dance out of his reach. “Celine!”

“What, Sergeant? Are you here to look at me with fear again? Are you going to tell me to leave? Explain how I am too much a freak to be part of the Avengers?” Night seemed to flow into her, swirl around her. It darkened her hair and brightened her eyes. She stepped backward, crouched, and snarled like an angry animal. “Then you tell me now to go, and I will pack my things!”

“No, Celine,” Steve said, holding up his hands. He approached with caution like he would a wounded creature. “Yes, you surprised us with what you did, maybe even spooked us at first, but we're not afraid of you.”

“Yes, you were!” she almost howled. “And after you said…” She shook her head. “I knew you would fear me. Everyone fears me. I should never have hoped for anything different.”

The words were so soft they could barely hear them, but they hit harder than the Hulk.

Bucky walked toward her, hands raised. “Read me, my aura, my emotions. I’m not afraid of you, Celine. Steve’s not afraid. Sam’s not afraid. Peter isn’t afraid. Wanda isn’t afraid. Come down. Talk to us. Let us show you.” He held out his hand.

“No… no, you lie!” She gave a violent shake of her head. “I won't look! I won't! I can't take anymore! Why are you so cruel?”

Peter landed on the ledge a few feet away. “Celine, I am so sorry.”

She whipped to face him, and Bucky lunged.

His arms closed around her, dragged her from the edge and back to the center of the roof. Expecting a struggle, he held her tightly, but she only sagged, eyes wide and staring at Peter.

The curl smoothed from her hair, the colour lightened. Her eyes lost their glow, and her face fell. Instead of struggling, she turned into Bucky, turned away from Peter, as a distressed cry escaped her lips.

“No, no… you were afraid. I made you afraid. You wouldn’t… let me help…” she moaned, clinging to Bucky.

This time it was the devastation on Peter’s face which broke Steve’s heart. “Celine, doll face Peter’s sorry. He, like us, didn’t mean to hurt you. But you were pretty impressive tonight. More than we’d expected. Read us. See for yourself. It's not a joke.”

“Promise,” Bucky murmured and stroked her arm. “No one's gonna be cruel, darlin’. Give us a chance.”

She bit her lip and looked between the two of them. Such pain shadowed her eyes Steve's heart felt like it tore open for her and whatever trauma had forced her to this point, to where she felt the need to wall herself off from everyone.

A moment passed before her amber eyes filled with relief and she sagged against Bucky. “Oh…” the word flew free on a heavy exhale.

“Can you forgive us, baby?” Steve threaded his fingers through her hair, gently pulling her head back so he could see her eyes.

They were wet, as was her face, so he wiped her cheeks dry. A breath shuddered from her, and she gave a slow nod. She looked as shocked, possibly as stunned as he and Bucky had been when she’d thrown a dragon into the sky and plucked a man off the mountain.

“I thought your dragon was incredible, Celine,” Steve said softly.

“And the way you dealt with the guards on the gate, and the people at the warehouse… amazing,” Bucky smiled.

“You were really spectacular, Celine. I'm… sorry I hurt your feelings,” said Peter, coming closer. “You did… kinda startle me, what with you havin’ just, like, eaten a dude. I promise it won't make me spaz out on you next time.”

“Peter,” she whispered, hands tight to her chest.

“Hug?” he asked, holding out the one arm. The other remaining pressed to his wound.

Bucky let her go, but Celine was hesitant to reach out until Parker gave an exasperated sigh and simply dragged her in via a shot of webbing and hugged her.

“You wanna fix me now?” Peter asked. “That is if it's still okay?”

She nodded a small jerk of her head before placing her green glowing fingers on his side.

His eyes widened in surprise when the pain disappeared. “Wow. Celine, you're so awesome!” He laughed as he lifted her off her feet and swung her around.

“Peter!” she squealed in surprise.

Chuckling, he dropped her to her feet and hugged her tight with both arms. “Thanks, doll,” he drawled, bussing her a kiss to the cheek - bold little shit-eating grin on his face - and darted away. “I'll check-in with Bruce. See ya tomorrow!”

She pressed her fingers to her cheek, eyes full of tears, but a smile was twitching her lips. Turning to face them, her smile broke free. “You people are so messed up.”

Bucky grinned while Steve laughed.

“Maybe it's your previous fri-uh-colleagues who were messed up,” Steve said with a sheepish grin.

“Yeah, darlin’,” Bucky smirked, “You just needed a couple’a old guys and a kid to see you for who you really are.”

“Speak for yourself, pal. I ain't old,” Steve snorted.

“Maybe being in the ice that long just froze your self-preservation brain cells,” Celine quipped.

“Then what's Peter’s excuse?” Bucky asked.

“Young and foolish,” she scoffed. “He doesn't know any better.”

Steve shook his head and held out his hand. “C’mon. You were bleeding on the jet. Let’s see it.”

She arched a brow in wry condemnation. “After the last few days, do you honestly think I cannot fix myself?”

He arched one in return, shook his hand and said, “Just give!” It was a fair imitation of what she’d done the day they’d met, causing Bucky to burst out laughing.

Rolling her eyes, Celine stalked forward to hold her hand out palm up. “There, you see? Perfectly fine.”

Steve frowned as he traced his fingers over her palm. “What did you…” he started to ask when it dawned on him what she’d likely done to herself. “Celine…” Heart hurting, guilt filled him for what she’d gone through, those talons of hers digging into her flesh with her anguish. “I am sorry.”

Her eyes softened. “I know, Steve.”

Bucky collected her opposite hand, sighing quietly as he stared at her unmarked flesh. “I promised you I wouldn’t feel any differently and at the first opportunity to prove it, I fucked it up.”

She gave her own sigh, released their hands, and patted both chests. “You are good men, but you are only human. I am,” she shook her head and turned away, “not.”

Steve went after her, grabbing her by the elbow to drag her back against his chest. “You are as human as the two of us. Powerful you may be, but you’re still human, Celine.”

Her eyes brightened, and her hair curled. “I am not. Human’s do not feed off other humans.”

“Your mutation only makes you different, Celine. It doesn’t make you less human.” Bucky’s hand curled around the back of her neck.

Trapped between the two of them again, Steve couldn’t help but notice the heat she radiated like a furnace. People always commented on how hot he or Bucky ran, but Celine seemed to nearly double their temperature. Cupping her chin, he tilted her face up, so her diamond-bright eyes shone for him to see. “You aren’t a freak. You’re an Avenger. We’re all a little… abnormal.” He couldn’t understand how she could’ve grown up in a place like Xavier’s school and view herself so differently from the other mutants. If anything, it should have been a place she fit into fairly well.

“I believe I’m a lot abnormal, Steve,” she chuckled, the curl of her hair growing more prominent as her eyes drifted down to his lips.

Bucky’s hand went from her nape to her throat, pressing up beneath Steve’s to tilt her head back onto his shoulder. “You ain’t the one with the vibranium arm,” he said, smirk growing.

Her eyes watched his lips as well before her tongue darted out, moistening hers.

Steve had never wanted to kiss a woman as badly as he did Celine in that instant. The desire he was trying to contain roared into life.

It sent her eyes darting back to his. They blazed bright, burned into him, filled with distress and sent her jerking away from them both. “Sorry! Sorry. That’s my bad… ha, I should go.” She darted away, down the stairs before either of them could move to stop her.

Groaning, Steve thrust his hand through his hair. “Fuck!”

“No shit,” Bucky muttered, trying to adjust his pants without being overly obvious.

“What the hell keeps happening here?” Steve grumbled.

Sighing, Bucky shook his head. “I don’t know, punk, but…” a wash of red filled his cheeks, “I… kind of like it.”

“What?” he gasped, jerking his head up to look at Bucky.

The metal-armed soldier shrugged. “Feels… good having her between us. I don’t know. She just… fits.”

“Bucky…” Steve shook his head.

“I know, I know. Can’t seduce a recruit,” he huffed. “But Steve, you can’t tell me you don’t feel it. We ain’t talked about it, keep pushin’ it to the side, but we can’t fight what we’re feeling.”

“She won’t even be a friend, Buck. Besides, you just watched her rabbit when she got a hint of something off me. I’m not going to put that pressure on Celine.” Steve stalked toward the stairs. “I don’t even know what the hell is happening! Every time it's just us, you, me, her, it’s….”

“Intense sexual heat?” Bucky chuckled.

“Laugh it up, jackass,” Steve grumbled.

“I’m serious!” he scoffed. Grabbing Steve’s arm, Bucky forced him to stop. “I’m asking this in all seriousness, if she chose me over you, would you be okay with it?”

“Bucky… I… Why are you even going there?”

“It’s a hypothetical, Steve. Just answer the fucking question.”

“I’d have to be, wouldn’t I?”

“But you’d hate it, right?”

Jerking his arm away, Steve snapped, “Yes, damn it! I’d hate it!” and stormed down the stairs.

Bucky simply jumped over the rail to land in front of him. “I’d be the same way!”

Coming to a stop, Steve’s eyes closed in pain. “I know, Buck. I can’t be your rival. I won’t be. I don’t have it in me to go against you, and you know it.”

“Stevie.” Bucky’s hands closed over his shoulders, gripped tight, shook him a little. “You think I could?”

When he looked up, Bucky’s eyes were bright with emotion. The smack which came to Steve’s cheek was anything but light, yet it was full of affection, even as it stung something fierce.

“You’re my brother, Steve. I wouldn’t ever do that to you. I love you, pal, and we’ve been through too much hell to fight over a girl, even a dame as amazing as Celine. Whatever comes, we’ll figure it out. Besides, she’s skittish as a baby deer,” he sighed. “Doubt it will go anywhere for either of us.”

Both sighed unhappily and continued inside.

***

A little panicked, Celine made her way back to her room, thankful she avoided seeing anyone else. Riding in the elevator, she allowed herself a small amount of hysterical laughter for, sure enough, she’d found herself sandwiched happily - and hornily - between the two soldiers again. Her nature had taken over thanks to her overactive libido, and she’d drawn them in.

And it had felt… good. Too good.

The spike in Steve’s chi had nearly made her moan and beg for a taste. The Captain was potent!

Bucky, too, though slightly more in control, his arousal had shivered through her. It was subtle, like the nip in the air which preceded a snowstorm but it was still delectable.

So intent was she on the near taste she’d had, something she really should be berating herself for, Celine did not notice the aura waiting in her room until her hand was on the doorknob. Steeling her spine, she slowly pushed her door inward.

The lights were on, the one sitting on her couch doing nothing to hide her presence. Natasha smirked smugly at her.

“I do not remember inviting you to my room,” Celine said cautiously, remaining in the doorway.

“You didn’t. Come in, shut the door, and sit down.”

Brow arching, Celine snorted. “I think I will stay where I am.”

Anger flared in her aura before Natasha smoothed it away. “I think… Adeline, you will want to do what I say.”

The use of her real name was so rare, Celine momentarily froze. Closing the door, she moved toward Natasha, growing angrier by the second. “So, you have found my birth name. What of it?”

Picking up a tablet, Nat read, “Born Adeline Evans to one Tammy Evans, drug addict junky, and alcoholic absentee father, Marcus Evans. Ran away from home at thirteen, wanted for questioning in the death of one Franklin Delacore after he was found dead on the floor of your bedroom.”

She refused to flinch, only sat in an armchair and crossed her legs. There was nothing there. Charles had seen to the reports, the heart attack the man had had was ruled as an accident. Her mother’s drugged up ravings were nothing more than the ramblings of a woman out of her mind.

“Lived on the street, it seems from the age of thirteen until fifteen.” Here Nat looked up. “Wouldn’t it be interesting if the police were informed of the mutant Styx whose MO perfectly fits the two cold cases they have from way back when Adeline was a teenage runaway.”

“What do you want, Natasha?” Celine asked, without a hint any of what she’d said had been true.

“Oh, I’m not done yet,” she fairly purred. “There’s also the information about poor Thomas and Jacob. Nasty business that. It really would be a travesty if the new team found out what you’d done to your old team. To your friends.”

“What do you want, Natasha?” Celine asked a second time.

“What I want is for you to leave and never come back, but we can’t always get what we want, so how about what I need?”

Tired of these games, Celine snapped, “Just spit it out, Widow!” Hair curling, nails lengthening, she dug her talons into the cushioned arms of her chair.

Natasha stiffened her entire countenance sharpening. “I’ve safeguards in place, Styx, so think twice about hurting me. Anything happens to me here, or on a mission, you're a part of… all this information goes public.” She smiled, a predatory baring of teeth. “It would be a pity if the Professor's involvement in all your messes came to light.”

The cold weight of fear wrapped around Celine’s heart. “Get to the point, Natasha.”

“I see how you look at them you know. Steve and Bucky. They’re too blinded by the pretty girl to see the monster you really are. You're going to stay away from them; you're going to stay away from all my friends. You'll limit your involvement with the team outside of missions.” She got slowly to her feet, triumph and bravado coating her innate fear of what Celine was. “Isolate yourself, Celine, or I'll do it for you. Permanently.” Striding toward the door, Natasha dropped the tablet in Celine’s lap, the faces of Jacob and Thomas staring up at her from the screen.

Celine spoke softly, “Be careful, Widow. What you try so hard to protect… may not take kindly to your methods.”

“You’ll never tell them. You try so hard to be human, fit in, but you're a monster. I know it. You know it. If they knew what you'd done….” Natasha let the words hang as she shut the door and walked away.

Celine stared down at her lap and lightly touched first one and then the other face.

Natasha may have found the information on the boys, she may know some of Charles involvement, she suspected the Widow had likely bugged her room, but Natasha didn't know everything. She couldn't for there were no records of what Celine was beyond the mental knowledge shared by four people.

But the two smiling faces on the tablet in her lap, the one lost and the one…. She couldn't bear to think about it. The pain it caused was simply too great.

She placed her hand flat on the screen and ignored the tears which fell down her face as she cried for things she could never make right, and for the life she might have possibly had here.

Next Chapter

#qi flows for her #Steve Rogers #captain america #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #the winter soldier #the winter soldier fanfiction #avengers au #avengers fanfiction #x-men au #x-men fanfiction

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago

Text

for the road (2/2) steve clark x reader

+++++++++

part 1 part 2

sorry this took so long, like i had mentioned in the other post, our internet cable was cut and it took a few days for it to get fixed. on top of that i had a few essay finals to finish and just didnt have time to get back to this. it is here now though and i hope you all like it!

she edited for the most part but if i missed anything, sorry, lol.

again i dont usually add songs from the artists to their own chapters but i think this one works pretty good with the story so youre getting it anyways lol

Song: stagefright by def leppard

tag list: @cynic-spirit @lifeisabitchandsoareyou

+++++++++

as soon as i turned around from locking the shop there was a taxi outside, parked on the curb with a woman leaning against it. she offered me a smile.

"are you y/n?"

she asked and i nodded.

"the band is waiting for you."

she said opening the door for me. i politely thanked her before sliding in and buckling the seat belt. the car smelled like apples, making me feel much less nervous than before. the ride to the venue was pretty silent though and i watched out the window as we passed by the tall city buildings. as the venue came into view my eyes got wide, i had never actually been to this part of town before. I looked at the venue in awe, it was much larger than the places I usually attended concerts at. the metal gates opened in front of us and she drove in, straight to the back doors. a large man in all black was waiting there with his arms held together in front of him. i was definitely back to being nervous again. he opened the door and peered down at me.

"You here for Steve?"

He asked and I nodded, pulling the ticket out of my pocket and showing it to him.

"yeah uh, he gave me this."

he looked over it before helping me out of the cab.

"Right this way."

He said, hand moving to be placed gently at my back as we walked inside the venue. I was a little unnerved at first, being alone with the man and all but marched along anyways. the halls were brightly lit as we walked, the white concrete shining against the floor tiles. i watched as roadies and crew members walked around us, gaining my attention as the man kept pushing me forward. When he reached a door at the end of the hall I smiled, seeing Steve sat against the couch's arm rest with his guitar in his hand.

"Here we are."

The man said, dropping his hand from my back and standing firmly beside the door. He never looked back at me as I stepped into the room shyly. I waved to the guys before Steve noticed me.

"Y/n!"

He said excitedly, standing and offering me a hug. I gladly took it before he escorted me to sit at the couch.

"Was the ride here alright?"

He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, for the most part. Thanks again for inviting me. I'm excited to see you guys play!"

I said, wide smile on my face.

"I'm happy to hear that, i really hope you like it. we've been working on something new for the set."

i made an impressed face.

"sounds exciting."

then i heard one of them laugh.

"you say that like shes seen our other sets."

he had darker curly hair.

"so?"

steve said sitting a little closer to me, his arm falling behind my back to rest on the couch.

"im sav."

the man offered his hand and i shook it.

"y/n."

steve cleared his throat.

"right, thats rick savage he plays bass, my partner in crime phill collen, plays guitar, rick allen who is our man behind the kit, and of course you already met and talked to joe elliot our lead singer."

they all offered hellos around the room as steve introduced them.

"its nice to officially meet you all, i appreciate you guys coming into the shop earlier. i put the record in the window after you left and six people stopped in to buy a copy."

i joked, making steve laugh lightly.

"happy to help."

sav said. then a man with a clip board and mic around his neck stepped in looking rushed.

"alright guys its time to mic up, its almost show time."

they all nodded before leaving the room one by one to follow the man.

"hey ive gotta go but ill be back right before the show starts so you can come with us to the side of the stage okay?"

i nodded as he stood.

"okay."

he touched my shoulder lightly before walking off. i sighed to myself for a second before getting up and walking around the room. it was super neat. the painted bricks were covered in signatures from all sorts of rock stars. they were littered about in varying colors of permanent marker, some of them with small messages and dates next to them. part of me wondered how long it would take to fill before they had to paint over it or start on a new set of walls. then i heard a knock at the door, it was steve with a guitar now around his neck.

"hey, you ready for the show?"

he asked with a wide smile.

"lead the way."

i said stepping out of the room and following him back down the hallway.

"so i know this isnt exactly date material but how are you so far?"

i let out a short laugh.

"im doing great, this is all fantastic."

he seemed content with that answer as we stepped up to the side of the stage.

"im glad to hear that. if you arent busy afterward would you maybe wanna go get something to eat? before we have to head out?"

i twisted my body a little in excitement, holding my hands in front of me, smiling like an idiot.

"id love that."

he touched my arm gently.

"great!"

i leaned forward and kissed his cheek lightly, making him blush.

"alright guys, showtime."

the man who had called them out earlier was back, ushering them into a line.

"ill be here when youre done."

i said, earning a nod from him. i watched as they all ran out one by one, the crowd screaming as the backtrack blared through the speakers. they all just lit up as they began playing, joe speaking into the microphone and asking how the crowd was feeling. it made be giggle, not being to contain my excitement anymore.

°°°°°°°°°

when the set was done steve was quick to get offstage and into a new set of clothes. he was all sweaty under the stage lights during the show so i could understand why. he had grabbed my hand and practically ran with me down the hall and out the back door, making me laugh. when we were in the cab i had arrived in he calmly told the woman where to take us, his arm making its way behind me to hold me around my waist. the drive to the late-night restaurant was filled with small conversation and light smiles, he really was an interesting person. when we pulled up he helped me out of the cab and walked with me on his arm inside.

"two?"

the waitress asked, him nodding and following her to a booth across the diner.

"so, what can i get you two to drink?"

she said, setting the menus down. i looked at her and smiled.

"coffee please."

she nodded and looked to steve who look at me a little curiously.

"two coffees i suppose."

he let out a short laugh before she walked away.

"its a little late for coffee dont you think?"

he asked, looking over the menu. i sent him a look.

"says the person who ordered one as well."

he laughed and shook his head.

"i guess we all have our vices huh?"

i smiled at him, looking over the menu.

"hey, ive been meaning to ask you-"

"you two ready or do you need some more time?"

i looked from steve to her.

"cheese fries please."

i said, handing her the menu as she wrote it down.

"same."

he said with a smile, handing her his menu too. she nodded before walking away.

"now, what was it that you wanted to ask?"

he folded his hands together and leaned into the table, giving me his full attention.

"well i was wondering what the rest of tonight would look like."

i laughed light heartedly.

"its not exactly like you guys are staying here. i know you said it was a date, and i really like you but i dont necessarily wanna have too much fun, ya know?"

he nodded slowly, the waitress bring us our food and us thanking her.

"ive kinda been thinking about that too. and i really like you too and would love for this to happen."

he motioned between the two of us.

"but i dont want to make you wait for me."

i laughed a little bit as i ate.

"i dont think id mind too much. waiting that is, ive been single this long its not like it would be much different."

i joked, making him smile at me as he took a drink.

"so, what? we do this? for real? keep in contact until tour is over and then what?"

i shrugged.

"we make it work."

i said matter-of-factly. he studied my face for a second.

"okay, so we're really doing this."

he said with a wide smile. i nodded.

"i guess we are."

then it hit me.

"oh, here!"

i grabbed one of the survey cards out of the napkin holder and began writing.

"heres the numbers you can reach me at. the top is my house and the bottom is the shop. if you need me ill be at either of those places."

he looked over it before folding it and stuffing it into his pocket.

"hopefully you dont get too tired of me before tour is over."

we both laughed.

"i dont think i will, if you wanna call everyday be my guest. id love to hear about the places you visit. makes my small corner of the world a little bit bigger."

he sent me a genuine, heart melting smile.

"then i will absolutely do that for you y/n."

we both finished our drinks and got up, taking the ticket to the register and him paying the waitress. we said our thanks before climbing back into the cab out front. the drive back to the venue was full of cuddles and soft touches, talking back and forth about what he would be doing and where he would be going in the next couple weeks. it all sounded so interesting and i wished i could go with him. when the cab came to a stop at the back door we both got out, his hands making their way to my waist as i leaned into the car.

"ill be looking forward to seeing you next month."

he said softly, pushing my hair out of my face.

"likewise."

i said back, looking over his face. he seemed so soft. his thumb grazed my cheek before he leaned down and kissed me gently. the moment our lips met i knew that was it. the wait would be worth it for sure. when he pulled away we both sighed as he rested his forehead against mine.

"ill for sure be looking forward to another one of those."

he joked, both of us smiling at each other like a couple of teenagers.

"well then, before we both have to go, heres one for the road."

i said before pushing forward quickly, kissing him again. it was deeper than before as he pulled me into him. i wanted to feel that forever. when the back door creaked open we both pulled away, it drawing his attention as the body guard stood there sternly.

"i guess thats my queue."

he grabbed my hands as he backed up, dropping them as he got further away. i watched him walk to the door, waving back to me before he was ushered inside. i covered my mouth for a second before bouncing up and down with excitement. i could wait a month, if that was the hardest part of this then surely i could handle it. and now i had tour adventure stories to look forward to. i smiled like an idiot as i slid back into the cab, telling her where to take me. i couldnt stop smiling the entire car ride. i couldnt wait for the month to be up.

#wattapd #x reader #steve clark #264 #imagines #one shots #def leppard #.

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neo-shitty · 3 years ago

Note

onga e pero oke lng the music worked LMAO i used to be an exo-l but i still listen to their songs from time to time ! per comeback id watch it once , twice though not like how i do it with the grps i stan. i usually put their songs on repeat in spotify XD still its nice to come back to exo's songs occasionally :3

ung fan na fan talaga ako, currently, as in nakabantay ako ng contents issss skz ! ang hassle kaya if madaming bands yung inaabangan mo lagi 😭 if pagdating sa music w/ on notifs kemene then day6 txt bts enha iu ayan idk na if may nakalimutan pa ako ,,, tas yung casual listening -> svt ateez pUCHA ANG DAMI BASTA EON AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

anD WOW ANTAGAL MO NA PALANG KPOP FANN !!!!

SANAOL hala naiimagine kita kinikilig habang nag ttype HAAHAHSHHASHA CRUSH BA EON? O BEBE MO? 👀🍵 pero 22o nakaka miss sobra f2f, gr 12 ko na siguro mararanasan yung prom 😔💔 wala talaga yun sa date asking, gusto ko lang kumain ng masarap 😌

fun fact: naging stay ako dahil sa day6 tas naging bias ko si jae dahil sa twitch channel nya uWu ang sad tho dinelete nye :"> other than kpop and anime, i used to really love watching twitch lives ! one time i came across an old vid of my favorite streamer don tas gULAT ako , she played with jae tas dun ko nalaman na nag lalaro na pala si jae lol tas yun biazzz q na hehesz

ify, kapag nag kukumot ako sobrang init but if i take it off, it feels so cold. iyaq na lungs 😭 that got me thinking, how long do you sleep a day? feel q kulang ka sa tulog be :"<<

hometown will have 16 eps, 11 as of now and still on going. sAME LOWKEY WANT Q ng jowa y/n , pero legit walang lalaki na nasa paligid ko yung matino talaga :"> wen kaya? oH but my bff has one na sobrang saya kabonding and tino, wen lalabas yung ganon naten huhu

totoo, gusto mo tapakan yung ipis pero kc pag linapitan mo, lilipad biglaan T^T i dont really like any insects lol ang skeri,,,, in gr 8 we saw a spider as big as my hand, i think even bigger , legit ! nung una, i though it was dead so i showed it to my friend tas nagulat ako bigla siyang umirit HAHAHAHAHAHA nagka gulo sa classroom and yung boy classmate ko, linapitan, tinusok ng ruler tas bigla gumalaw. takot ako pag buhay tas malapit saken, pero pag nasa gedli lang ako nanonood, sobrang LT AAJAJAJJAAH

pagaling wells sa mother mo ! ikaw den ingat sagad -> ayan para intimidating

advance good night!

- 👻

pinagkataon lang ;n; inautoplay ko yung yt habang nagsusulat tapos yung playing ngayon overdose HASJH exo songs make me feel nostalgic :'( uy same abangers ako sa skz #kulto i'm glad you're a multi tho! twt stans treat being a multi like it's a disease?? shuta umay. and yes, i'm an ancient kpop stan T_T i'm starting to think i'll never out grow it.

di ko nga crush yun eh HAJSA parang barkada lang na nagoffer na turuan ako magskate tapos kahit kaya ko namang imount sarili ko sa pennyboard, he still held out his hand. it was a cute memory. HOPEFULLY BY G12 MO BALIK NA SA F2F AAAAAA grabe sobrang nasasayangan ako na naglockdown g12 i was just starting to have fun ://

why was the twitch acc deleted? company ba or? god idt i can handle twitch but might give it a try sooner or later? i like watching people play pokemon xd HAHAHAH cute sino favorite streamer mo? jae really has a charm T_T

sana may kumot na nagreregulate ng temperature?? yung tipong sakto lang palagi. sleeping hours??? lately jshdfkshj ahm for a few weeks na 5 hours nalang more or less and mga once a week isang 8 hours. idk whats wrong xd but i'm trying to fix it. starting tonight! matapos kong sagutan to, matutulog na ako.

lmk how it ends HAJSHJA sana satisfying yung end! im so done with men nowadays na di na ako nagsana ol sa mga national bf day posts today. sobrang umay HAJHAJ si haechan nalang grineet ko. stan ka nct #recruiter HAJSHAJ im glad ur bff's in a good relationship ;n; sabi ni lord lalabas nalang yun kung di na natin aantayin so HAJHA

sana wala pakpak yung ipis mas madali pa ata buhay ko kadjsajl NYARKS THIS IS MAKING MY SKIN CRAWL HAJSH naiimagine ko palang parang i want 2 unalive error 404 toffee's soul left her body.

my mom's ok now! thanks for wishing her well : ] i just finished writing so matutulog na me sjdhkaj

#toff.asks #👻 anon

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yourjughead · 7 years ago

Text

Study Buddies

Synopsis: Your old boyfriend from highschool requests your help for studying a module, much to your current collage boyfriends dislike. Pairings: Jugheadxreader Requested: College AU x jealous Jughead Warnings: Fluff, angst, mentions of cheating and smut...much sin very sin (it's been awhile) A/N: not edited lol sorry ------------------------------------------------- ***=Jughead pov cause he'll be sees some stuff but not enough to change the pov hope it's not confusing but I'm lazy. Yn pov I was sauntering through campus after a long lecture, yearning for when I get home to snuggle up to my English majoring boyfriend and relax with my friends//housemates. Totally lost in my world with Jughead. “Yn!” Reggie's voice snapped me out of my daze. Oh God leave me alone Reggie. “Yes Reginald what do you want?” my pace quickened as he ran to catch up with me, crossing the quad. “Listen I'm really tanking this elective and you took it last semester and y’know we go way back to days in Riverdale I was wondering if you could help me” Reggie sounded half desperate. By way back he means dated. I dated the idiot. “Please yn, you used to tutor me all the time back in highschool, not much is different….well a few things are different but I really need your help I'm here on scholarship, please, I'll do anything!” “Leave jughead alone?” “Ah well yn everyone needs a hobby” he smirked and I shoved him. “Okay okay I'll leave Doris alone” I glared at him. “Alright alright I'll leave jughead alone” he put his hands up in surrender. “Fine but the second I say I want out, that's it, I'm gone, deal?” I put out my hand out to shake his and he took it but pulled me into a hug. ***I was looking for yn before my lecture, think we might coffee or someth….is that yn and Reggie….are they...are they hugging?! Okay calm down Jug maybe he needs resuitation or something. Oh shit late for my lecture*** ~~~~ Over the next few weeks I was spending increasingly more time with Reggie. Almost too much. He was magnetic, addicted to days well gone, simpler days. I missed him, missed his stupid company but when I was back with Jughead, oh when I was with Jughead it was nothing but love and respect and he was my everything, my always. I loved Jughead more than even possible to fathom, over two years building this relationship and I needed him but that didn't mean I couldnt also enjoy being around my ex boyfriend. Right? “So what do you think” Jughead shook me from my thoughts. “Huh what?” I looked up at him as we were cuddled into the couch. “I said dizzy, do you want to go to the cinema tonight? I swear youre always off in your own world these days.” He said slightly pulling from me to meet my eye. “Can't" “Why….wait wait let me guess Reggie?” He practically bit out Reggie's name, like a curse word. “Don't say his name like that jug” I moved completely from his arms, sitting up and turning to face him. “Why not yn?! Afraid I might hurt your new boyfriends feelings?!” Jughead said loudly before standing up. “Jug for God sake, stop being a child and calm down I'm helping him study! That's it!” My turn to stand. “Study? Are you sure that's all it is?! I see ye around campus you know? I see how ye are together! The amount of people who come up asking me if we broke up because they've seen you both so cosy together! Do you know what that's like?! Having people think you were cheated on?!” He was shouting now, “NO JUGHEAD I DONT BUT I DO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE CHEATED ON AND I WOULDNT WISH THAT ON ANYONE!!! AND ID NEVER EVER DO THAT! ESPECIALLY TO YOU!” I storm off up the stairs before jughead can comment. How did he think Reggie and I ended? It wasn't exactly amicable. I ran into our room, slamming the door and throwing myself down on our bed. Now I'm acting like the child. Thankfully the rest of the gang were out, I couldn't deal with their shock and comments at us fighting, we never fight, not this seriously anyway. I scream into the pillow in utter frustration *Sms: Reginald: Can't come study tonight. I'm done. Youve laid the groundwork, you can finish your self. -7.40pm *Sms: YNN: come on Babe we're almost done!-7.42pm *Sms: Reginald: don't.ever.call.me.that.again.EVER. -7.43pm *Sms:YNN: Come on Babe I was going to stop this tonight but you know I still love you...i know you still love me....and I was thinking maybe we should try again….i know I fucked up in the past and it has been my biggest regret losing you to Wednesday….yn we could be together again.-7.45pm *Sms: Reginald: Reggie since I met Jughead I realised I didn't love you at all, I didn't know love till him. Don't talk to me again. I mean it.-7.46pm I threw my phone at the wall in total anger. How dare he say that! Tool. Trying to manipulate me! “Jug just leave me alone please” I called back to his light knocking on the door, that's not going to keep him out. I was right. He slowly sulked in before sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes fixed to the ground. I exhaled loudly before swinging my legs over the side of the bed to sit right next to him. I intertwined my fingers in his as we sat in silence. “Yn…” “Jug can we just..can we just sit.” I leaned my head on his shoulder. “no yn i need to tell you im really sorry for not trusting you….its just with your history together...i don't know...the thought of someone taking you from me when you're mine, I can't stand it, especially when it's that douche” “Yours? Am I a book on the shelf or something?” I half laugh. “no not like that...youre just mine.” He met my eyes before pulling me into a searing kiss, one of his hands slipping to my cheek. I moved back slightly further into the bed pulling jughead with me. 3rd person. Jughead followed your movement till he was on top of you. You rubbed your hands up and down his sides slowly as he used one of his hands to support himself, the other still cradling your cheek. “Jug” you break the kiss “Yeah?” He breaths “Show me I'm yours” his eyes darkened with lust at this as he attached himself onto your neck. He kissed and bit until he found your sweet spot. You moaned as he agressively bit and sucked your skin, relisihing in the sweet sensation. You pulled his shirt over his head before he helped you with yours. Jughead practically riped your bra from your skin leaving you bear as you kick off your pants and underwear in one. You paw at Jugheads pants to remove them, gladly obliging all the while you meet each other in passionate, if slightly sloppy kisses. You moan at the feeling of his buldge against your thigh. You run your fingers through his hair, knocking his beanie off and pulling his head down into your chest where he continues to mark you as his own, spurred on by more of your moans and with one of his hand playing with your clit, you are like putty. “Jug” you barely get out “Yes” he pulls from your neck. “I need you. Now” He winks before slipping two fingers inside of you and you gasp at the sudden sensation. Your hand reaches and meets his buldge before you start gently and then not so gently stroking it. He groans into your ear. With both of you unable to hang on anymore, Jughead slips inside you and you gasp at his length in your entrance, nails digging into his back. “Fuck me Jughead fuck me” with this he's begins pumping into you harshly as you moan scratching his back. Your back arches as he hits your g-spot perfectly. He begins cursing as he digs his arm into the bed alongside you giving him more support and thus more speed. “Oh yn you're so wet, youre fucking hot yn, my fucking yn,all mine” he groans into your neck as you begin snapping your hips to his, moans leaving you both frequently. Jughead kneels up pulling you into his chest, your legs wrapped around him as he continues bouncing you on his length both of you moaning messes. “oh fuck I'm going to come yn” he groans. “Come for me Juggy come for me baby” you purr as your own band begins to shorten. You kiss down his neck, marking him as you both gasp for air. The feeling of your walls tightening around his member sends him into overdrive as he comes inside of you, shouting your name and collapsing slightly on top of you. But not pulling out and continuing to move sloppily until finally you hit earth shattering status shorly after with the band snaping, sending you swearing and screaming Jugheads names as your high is ridden out. Jughead roll over next you in a huffing mess. He pulls your trembling body into his and covers you both before taking a moment to catch his breath. “Note to self, jealousy Juggy is insane in bed” you are just about capable of breathing out. “Am I not always insane in bed?” He laughs. You kiss his lips again with love. “Meh youre alrgght” you smirk as he tickles you in punishment. “okay okay truce!” You laugh. “Besides i gotta help Reggie study” you pretend to get out of bed before Jughead catches you and drags you back in laughing. “Oh you're never leaving me again” he grins. “Good” “Good” ----------------------------------------- Teehee Xx

#jughead jones #jughead x reader #Jughead #Jughead smut #Jughead Jones smut #jughead angst #riverdale #riverdale x reader #Riverdale x reader smut #riverdale fanfiction

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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ask your destiny to dance [6] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

“What are you doing here?” Ash’s voice is hostile, and Roger waits with his snare in his arms, just around the corner of the building. He’s not following her, or at least, he didn’t mean to; he’s just packing up his drums, like he did after every show. Sure he was a bit earlier than usual but that didn’t mean anything.

“Sweet girl, I wanted to see you.” The voice is teasing, like she should have know this already, masculine, low, and it makes Roger nauseous. Finally he peers around the edge of the building and catches a better glimpse of the man from the bar, who is now standing less than a foot from a tense and confused Ash who leans against the door to the bar.

“You- why?” Already her voice has softened, but it seems he still makes her uncertain, if the tense set of her shoulders is anything to go by. But then the man’s reaching out, resting his hands on her upper arms. “You’re not mad at me?” She asks, relaxing under his touch, looking up at him with her big, brown eyes. Something in Roger’s gut twists at the sight.

“Of course not, baby girl.” He’s got her accent, Roger realises, and something in his chest tightens as the man places his hands on her shoulders coaxing her away from the door so he can wrap her up in a hug. Roger can see her trembling as she hugs him back, a soft confusion written all over face. “I’ve missed you.” He tells her, voice a murmur, but in the crisp, night air, it’s loud enough that even Roger hears.

“Why are you here, Gus?” Ash is the one who steps back, out of his grip, leaning back against the door. Roger can see her hands shake when she pulls half a cigarette from her breast pocket.

“I wanted to see you again, make sure you’re okay.” And the man, Gus, takes her hands, gently taking the cigarette stub and throwing it away before he laces his fingers with hers. She doesn’t even protest.

“And Kira?” She’d asked, voice so soft that Roger almost didn’t catch it, and the man in question shook his head with a smile as he leaned in, murmuring something that only she could hear, pressing kiss to her cheek.

“Oh, my sweet girl, you look so good.” He mused, voice growing a little louder, stepping back to admire her, and though Roger wants to gag at his tone, syrupy and full of obviously fake revere. Ash actually giggles, and not insincerely. “As beautiful as the day I met you.”

“You think so?” Voice uncharacteristically young and hopeful, it’s so unlike her that Roger’s pushed to the end of his patience, and rounds the corner with his drum in hand, not even acknowledging the pair as he heads for his van, though the way Ash jumps back from the man as if he’d burned her, it does little to ease the discomfort in Roger’s chest.

“Hi!” Suddenly flustered, Ash moves around Gus to stand between him and Roger. He’s not really sure why she’s bothered, there’s so much distance between the back door and the van, but he thinks it might be so that they look less suspicious. It’s not working.

“Hey.” Roger says, tone clipped as he says it, fumbling for his keys as he opens the back doors of the van.

“This is, uh, August.” She’s aware of how strange it sounds, how guilty her words come out, and when Roger’s sat his drum inside the van, he finally turns to get a good look at the man. The man with a hand on Ash’s shoulder, making direct, unflinching eye contact with Roger, smirking.

“August, this is Roger, he’s in the band.” There’s a waiver to her voice that Roger doesn’t like, and he can’t bring himself to smile at her. Everything feels so wrong, and Ash looks so guilty, like she’s been caught red handed.

He’s handsome by any definition, but not by Ash’s usual one. High cheek bones, hair gelled up into a neat quiff with a few sparing grey strands running through it that only served to make him look more distinguished, as did the dark, well groomed stubble on his jaw. He looks to be in his late 40s, in a pressed, well tailored suit, and shoes that Roger would consider too formal for even an explicitly formal event, so out of place in the dingy, pub setting. And his hand is still on Ash’s shoulder.

Roger doesn’t want to think about why it puts him on edge, just knows that it does. August takes long, deliberate strides before he reaches Roger, holding out his hand.

“August Reid.” His smile was sharp, and when Roger took his hand, he held it a little too tight, a show of dominance. “You guys played very well.” It’s the least sincere compliment Roger’s ever received; he wants nothing more than to punch August in his smug face.

“Roger.” After a beat, he leaned against the edge of the van, crossing his arms. “So how do you know Ash?”

“Ashley.” August correct automatically, and Roger can see the way Ash flinches out the corner of his eye, still looking a little mortified, avoiding looking at both of them. August doesn’t see it, his smile widens just a little bit, all sharp teeth. “I taught her back at Saint Andrew’s, I thought I’d stop in while I was in town.”

“He was my Art History professor.” Ash confirms from behind him, and Roger freezes where he’s looking at her. He’s never seen her like this before, demure, shy; she’s always consciously made an effort to appear larger than life, to compensate for her size and sweet looks, but now she looks so young. She can’t even bring herself to meet his gaze, but he can tell she doesn’t know he saw their earlier exchange, if she did know, he thinks she probably wouldn’t be so honest about that.

“Oh,” is all Roger can say, before he snaps out of it, moving past where August is trying to be intimidating, up to Ash who’s leaning against the back door, “Rocket, can you move, I’m trying to pack up.” She doesn’t even fight him on it, tell he can walk around the front the same way as he got here. With the door opens, he hesitates, reaches out to touch her arm, and when she looks at him her expression is surprised as he tilts his head in a silent question, asking if she’s okay.

“What?” She snaps, frowning and shifting out of his grip, a spark of her old fire returning. Roger’s moment of softness receded with his eye roll and he lets the door slam closed behind him. Part of him knows that August was watching the exchange. By the time he’s pulled down the rest of his equipment and is ready to haul it out, Ash is behind the bar, cheery as ever, and August is nowhere to be found.

“I thought you were studying fashion.” Brian muses into the balmy night air. The band had stayed until last call, intrigued about the newcomer, waiting until Ash was taking out the trash for the night to ask her, the four of them chatting around the van, Mary looking quite tired and leaning against Freddie, but enjoying their company..

“I am.” Ash agreed, seemingly back to her old self now that August had left, grinning like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “This isn’t my first go at uni.” She admitted, and Freddie nodded, passing Mary his lit cigarette.

“I thought he was a talent scout or something; he’s well dressed.” Brian half smiled, and Ash chuckled, shaking her head at him, smile bright. "What was his name?” He asked, and Ash looked a little shocked, looking to Roger, who was suddenly avoiding her gaze.

“Rog didn’t tell you guys?” She asked, smile fading a little into confusion, and Roger snorted out a laugh.

“Told them he seemed like a prick.” He scoffed around his cigarette, and Ash flushed, frowning at him.

“Oi, don’t be mean, Rog! It’s just how he is, he’s always been a bit of a-” and for the barest moments they lock eyes and Ash turns a hilarious shade of pink, they both somehow know what she was about to say, he’s always been a bit of a dominant one, but she can’t bring herself to say those words out loud. She doesn’t want to say it for how it would sound, how it would make the others suspicious, but she knows Roger already is, even if she doesn’t know the full extent; it would be funny if the implication didn’t make Roger’s stomach turn, “a bit of an alpha male, you know.” After a beat, she clears her throat. “But yeah, Doctor Reid is my old Art History professor.”

It doesn’t escape Roger the way she doesn’t say his first name.

“What made you change your mind?” Mary yawns, passing the cigarette back to Freddie, and Ash fixes her with a fond smile. Since Freddie had introduced the women, they’d become fast friends, and Roger had never seen anyone as ready to fight as Ash when the dudes start leering at Mary.

“This was the only place that I could do what I wanted to.” And it sounds so honest that Roger’s tempted to believe it, if not for the memory that surfaces.

It’s her, a few months ago, bathed in moonlight, her head on his chest and his arm around her, ‘I was kicked out of uni once before, you know?’ her voice is thoughtful and he laughs, a little incredulous, asks how, but she’s grinning at him with that wicked smile of hers, and does a good enough job of distracting him that he doesn’t even realise she doesn’t give an answer.

“I’m surprised you even remember his last name,” Freddie laughs, “she couldn’t name a single lecturer on our timetable this semester.” And the others laugh, but Ash just rolls her eyes.

“I don’t want to know their names, it’s not like we’re gonna be friends,” but she does concede after she turns to head inside, “Doctor Reid is a friend of my dad’s, I’ve known him since I was sixteen.” And she smiles so blithely it somehow takes some of the shock out of her statement for Roger, who chokes on the smoke of his cigarette.

“How did he know you were here?” John’s question cuts through Roger’s spluttering, and Ash stops in her tracks.

“What?” She asked, suddenly confused, a little defensive, as she turns back.

“How did he know you’d be here?” He asks again, so calm and unflinching, not looking away from the sudden flicker of doubt that cross Ash’s face.

“It was coincidence, Deaky; just luck is all.” She says, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. She heads back inside.

The next time they play there, he’s back, and Ash is a sweet, flustered mess, and the dichotomy of this, and who Roger knows her as, is a little shocking. Even Maureen seems concerned, though she doesn’t say anything.

“He’s too old for you.” Roger makes it out the back before Ash does during her usual post-gig break. August went home halfway through the night, and Ash had returned to her normal bright, if a little sultry, bar-persona.

“Excuse me?” She snapped as the door slammed closed, and she looked to where Roger was sitting on her usual milk crate.

“You heard me.” Roger responded, something easing in his chest at the comfort of hearing the hostility in her voice that she’d used when they’d first met. It also hurts a little, to think how he’d prefer the hostility to the cute, blushy mess that August brings out in her. “I saw how he looked at you.”

“Watch your accusations.” She snapped, but there was actual anger in her words, which surprised Roger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She growled, and it was cold hostility; it wouldn’t lead anywhere fun, and Roger didn’t know how to face this. “I’m an adult, dickhead, so don’t think I can’t make my own decisions.” And her accent’s a little stronger, but her words take a moment to process. “He’s a friend-”

“He calls you baby.”

That shocks her into silence, and after a moment, a cruel, cold smile spread over her face. They both know, now, that Roger knows exactly what’s going on between her and August. He’d never been good at anything apart from blurting out exactly what was bothering him, and this time was no different.

“Are you jealous? Were you eavesdropping on us? What the fuck?” And there’s no warmth in her harsh laughter. “This is why I don’t do casual.” She spits, and Roger’s whole face lights up with shock, and he barks out a laugh.

“Jealous? Oh Ashley,” and when he says it, she flinches again, and he regrets using the name almost immediately, but he can’t help digging himself deeper, “no, I’m just interested in what a goddamn doctor, who’s almost fifty, mind you, is doing being interested in a girl like you.”

He watches as she actually has to take a step back, her mouth falling open in shock, eyes suddenly shiny with tears, and he knows he’s fucked up.

“A girl like me...” She whispers it with a laugh, smiling sadly, before finally meeting his gaze. “He... he likes me, Roger.” And fuck, she sounds so vulnerable it’s like a punch to the gut. “After everything I’ve done, he fucking likes me.” And after a beat, she stepped forward. “He still thinks I’m good, and that’s all that matters.”

She cuts her own break short, slamming the door as she heads back inside, leaving Roger to the silence of the car park.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe @laueecakee@smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt@benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues@banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric

#roger taylor #roger taylor x oc #roger taylor imagine #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #queen #queen imagines #ask your destiny to dance fic #the angry lizard writes

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eight8yearslater · 5 years ago

Text

My first post. Kind of put this off for so long cos i was scared i would get judged or blocked or attacked if i stated my opinion. But since i dont really have followers, I figured, might as well do it. Also I believe im respectful enough not to attract heat and be blocked by people I follow so yeahp.

First, in case someone else does chance upon this post, I’d like to make it clear that I believe Louis and Harry were together at one point. Dont know if it’s official or serious or they were just fooling around and acting on their curiousity but there is NO way that was all platonic. Do I believe theyre together still? I cant say for certain. Im the type of fan who takes in things as they come. Some days im so convinced they are still together but stunts makes me doubt it. Which I think is why exactly the stunts are there for anyway so 🤷🏻‍♀️ though to be honest, im leaning towards, yes. I do think they broke up for a brief period in 2015, but even that, im still open to be desuaded.

Second, I have no definite opinion on babygate. Again i take things as they come but I feel like Freddie can be Louis’ and still be with Harry now. Kind of fits the timeline im sort of buying into. But theres also so much that doesnt add up with regard to Briana and Freddie that i would not be surprised if larries were right all along.

That said, I just want to put down into words what I think about Fine Line and the story it tells. This is my blog anyway and I feel like im entitled to write down what I think it might be about.

I think Fine Line tells a story of Harry from the time he joined XFactor and met Louis. The songs, I believe are arranged chronologically and again fits the timeline im leaning towards believing.

GOLDEN

Harry meets Louis. Hes too bright for him. Baby Larry was something else really. Its so fascinating to watch them and kind of heartbreaking when you compare to how they are now in public. Louis was so full of life, so energetic that Harry was more often than not, left in awe.

Despite how Louis was, though, I believe Harry was the braver one and was the one who was more accpeting of his sexuality and feelings. If the rumors are anything to go by, Harry always knew he wasnt straight as opposed to Louis who, until Harry, appears to have been with girls exclusively. His “fear” or feelings of being scared must have come from this or from just maybe, letting other people in, generally.

Watermelon Sugar/Adore You

The Honeymoon stage of the relationship. Watermelon sugar so obviously refers to intimacy (okay fine, SEX) and just being obsessed with the other person. Spending as much time as you want. Makes sense that this was written about the early part of their relationship.

Same with Adore You. Thematically, both songs are about the happy times and promises of adoration, love and commitment.

Lights Up

I’ve always interpretted Lights Up to be about self discovery on the one hand but also a narration of how Harry must have felt while he was in the band. Lights literally meant stage lights which have exposed and caged him at the same time.

The line “lights up and they know who you are”, i believe refers to the public and how they think They know Harry simply because they get to watch him on stage or on television. But despite all of it, the fame etc. couldnt stop the darkness or emptiness Harry feels. No matter what they say, being in a boyband must have put tremendous pressure on all of them. And if Harry is indeed not straight then absolutely not having freedom to express himself or be himself (eve just a little bit) must have been very difficult.

Thus the line “be so sweet if things just stayed the same” must refer to staying in the band. But he can no longer do it and must “step into the light” to more freedom or freedom to express more. And that he’s never going back to a set up where he was so constricted or so controlled as when he was in 1D.

Now here goes my unpopular opinion, but I believe Harry was the cause of the hiatus and must have demanded to get out of the band. Ergo, straining his relationship with Louis. Which could (or could have not) led to a break of some sort or some very difficult trying times in their relationship.

Thus, the breakup/heartbreaking/sad songs.

CHERRY/ FALLING

Now im well aware of the narrative behind Cherry. And it could be true but it could also have been dressed up a bit to fit said narrative. Cherry, could also be about Louis and the time they may have been apart.

I read somewhere, an Anon believes Cherry to be about Camille but that the rest of the album about Louis after Harry realized it was still him. Still makes sense if we believe that H and L have broken up a bit in 2015.

But it could also be a purely stunt song. Cherry seems to be out of place because in it, it is suggested that Harry’s love interest is already gone/broke up with him and “moved on”. Yet Falling which comes after Cherry, and Falling appears to be about couple who just broke up or on the brink of it.

Falling also is about heartbreak and could again be about the time H and L were apart.

To Be So Lonely

...appears to be a transition song of some sort. Could be about reconciliation as Harry slowly admits to being in the wrong and fixing things slowly.

She

i subscribe to the interpretation that its about H’s identity. Still chronological as self discovery is an ever on going process and never really stops. Somewhere between leaving the band and now during HOLO it makes sense that H is still discovering things abt himself.

Sunflower Vol 6/ Canyon Moon

Now this i believe are songs abt Louis. Its happy cos they (depends if you subscribe to the timeline) were able to fix it, they made it. And are in a better place now. Too many lines seemto have been lifted from fandom beliefs and headcanons for it not to be related to L at all.

Treat People With Kindness

simple straight forward song about how Harry must have felt during tour.

Fine Line

Believe this song is for the present. Like a promise and vow that they will be alright despite everything still surrounding them and put upon them.

The song calls to me as very loaded, somber but hopeful. Resigned but full of promises. The instruments/instrumental gives you that nostalgic feeling like “i know who I am now. Ive accepted me. And we’ll be alright”

As said even prior to HS2, i have a general belief/leaning towards the fact that H and L may have broken up for a time. Couldnt really say how long or how short, or if it was an actual break up or merely a rough patch, no one can anyway. But if my interpretation and opinion are a tiny bit accurate then that makes sense right?

Whatever it is, the way H writes abt L matches Louis’ songs too. Too Young, Habit and Defenceless appears to be abt a difficult time in a relationship or even a break up of some sort. But really, when Louis sang these songs in CCME I didnt feel sad or felt like they have indeed broken up. To me, it felt like a declaration that “hey we havent had it easy but even during the times were not together, its you. Youre it”. Theres too much love there not to think or interpret it that way. A person who has been left behind or have left someone wont write abt heartbreak and at the same time declare “YOURE THE ONE”.

Id like to end this first post, by saying that we cant really know the real score between H and L. And at the end of the day we are all speculating. But regardless of their status now, you cant deny how inspiring their love is (or was, depends what your beliefs are).

Hope i can now post more things as they come. I promise, really, not to be a problematic fan.

Please dont fight me??!

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writers-blog12 · 7 years ago

Text

I'm in love with someone I can't be in love with

I jostled in the back seat, a plastic smile plastered to my face. I tried to act happy, but to be honest? I'm just having a really bad day.

Simon's blue eyes caught my own in the rearview mirror. "Hey, you okay?"

My heart thuddwd in my chest. A flash of denial cut through my thoughts.

No. It can't happen. Get over it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do u ask?" I give a light chuckle, fooling everyone else in the car with ease. Except for my best friend, Kodak. And someone who should hardly know me at all: Simon.

Kodak simply raised his eyebrows at me, but understood I didn't want to talk and looked away.

Simon, however, narrowed his eyes. "You sure about that, Brit?"

"Simon, I'm fine. I'm having a great time."

Simon simply grunted and lowered his brows.

I ain't gettijng out of this one. Not with both of them on my butt.

Shortly after the volleyball game, with full stomachs, Simon dropped everyone off one by one. Kodak shot a were facetiming tonight look my way as he shut the door. Simon nodded his head to the front seat. "Hop up here."

"In fine back-"

"Front seat. Now. I am not moving this car until you get up here."

"Simon, really, I'm fine-"

He threateningly held his hand to his chest. "I'll do it," he threatened.

" Dont you dare," I growl, already preparing to pounce on his arm.

He flung his arm in a straight, diagonal motion, and I leaped forward and pressed his arm down to his leg. I shot him a withering glare until I noticed the humor in his eyes and the slight quirk in his smile. "What are you-!" I trailed off as he just looked down at our hands. Too late, I felt the tingling sensation that danced across my skin every time I touched him.

My hands were pressed against his open palm, resting on his thigh.

"When'd you get so forward?" His rumbling voice behind me made me jump a little. Before I could pull away, he intertwined my fingers with my own. He held our hands up to his face, my breath hitching in my throat. "Did you paint your nails finally?"

"Uh, yeah. I was just bored the other day and saw this picture on Instagram and I was like wow I really need to get back into painting my nails and..." My sentence died when I heard Simon's breathy laugh. "What?" I ask, nervous.

"It s just that you haven't moved yet."

After a moments hesitation, I retracted my limbs and planted myself in the passenger seat. I folded my hands tightly together and held them in my lap. I tried to hide the trembling shaking through my body.

"what's wrong, Brit?" Simon asked, probing my eyes for answers.

"I told you, I'm fine!" I put on my most winning smile. "Nothing to worry about!"

Simon allowed his eyes to flicker down to my hands, shooting a pointed glance my way.

My hands sprung apart. "Uh, my house is just a few blocks away."

"Im aware." He put the car in gear. "What's your curfew?"

"...why?" I answered cautiously.

"Would you just tell me?"

"...ten thirty."

"Cool." He took off, but missed my block.

"Simon, you missed the turn."

He kept his eyes fixed to the road, replying with "I know."

"Simon, what are you doing?" A feeling of uneasiness and nerves knotted in my chest.

He looked over at me, taking his eyes from the road. "You gonna start talking sometime?"

"Simon, eyes on the road!" I nearly shrieked, voice tight.

Simon only waggled his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Simon!" I reached over and grabbed the wheel, gently pulling the car away from the median. "Are you insane!?"

Simon gently grabbed my wrist, the pressure of his fingertips almost burning my skin. He guided me back into my seat, and returned his eyes to the road. "What's wrong, Brit?"

I sighed. "I just had a bad day, that's all."

"What made it a bad day?"

I lowered my head. "Don't really want to talk about it."

Oh, trust me. I did want to talk about it. But not with him. Because I was upset, because of him.

" Yeah, you do, come on."

"You've known me for five weeks and five days, how do you know I want to talk?" I burst, my tone close to angry.

"Ah, you've been counting down the days since you met me, I see." He smirked. "Didn't know you paid so much attention to me."

Despite my best efforts, I felt a blush creep up my skin. "I dont."

"Mhmm. And I suppose you just happened to run to the band room as fast as you can after school."

"I need to get my violin."

"Yeah, but you're always in there before I am."

"I never see you in there."

Simon suddenly made fierce eye contact with me, too captivating to turn away. "Do you want to?" He asked.

I opened my mouth for a stinging retort, but the words stuck in my throat. I clamped my jaw shut. I don't lie to my friends. And truth be told, if I told him I didn't want to see him, id be lying.

"In going to take that as a yes."

"Simon..."

He held a hand up. "Just hold on." He turned a corner and continued. "I asked you out the second week of school. I told you everything about..." He swallowed. "M y past, and my home life. I've told you everything." He took a deep breath, preparing himself. "And you told me you couldn't go out with me, because I don't believe in God. But you also said...you also said you really liked me."

"Because I do," I whisper.

"Wha t was that?"

"I did," I hurriedly correct myself. No, you still do.

"Brit, do you still like me?"

"Its... complicated, Simon."

"Why is it so complicated?"

Something inside me burst. But not immediately. More like I began to leak. I sighed. "You know how I've never kissed anyone, never wanted to hug anyone, hold hands with anyone?" I whisper

"Yeah," he rumbled.

" You know how in class sometimes we..."

"Play footsie?" He laughed.

"An d then we stay there," I say, barely audible.

Simon grew silent, face revealing nothing.

" It drives me nuts, you drive me nuts, Simon. You are the first guy I've ever done that with. The only guy I have liked the touch of." I took a shuddering breath. "And I hate that."

"Why?" He asks, clearly confused.

I roll my eyes, trying for an annoyed tone. Probably failing. "Because I can't be with you, you idiot! You are the first guy I have even ever thought of kissing and-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Simon cut me off. His eyebrows were creased, yet I could catch the faintest smile beginning to split his face. "You've thought about kissing me?"

My eyes widened as I realized the horror of what I had done. "No, no, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves-"

"Was I good?"

The question brought me up short. "I don't know! I've been trying not to think about even hugging you, let alone kiss- just forget what I said! Turn around." I folded my arms and looked out the window, my knee bouncing involuntarily and making the chair emit a horrible squeaking sound.

I felt a warm hand rest on my knee, but my mind was too muddled with thoughts to notice. A few seconds later my ears caught something-silence. I looked down at me knee to see it had stopped bouncing, and to see a large, scarred, calloussed hand over top of it. Hoping he wouldn't notice, I slid my eyes over to look at him. He had one hand on the wheel, one hand on my knee. He looked good. Then I broke myself from my trance.

"Gosh-danging it, Simon!" I pulled my knee away, pushing his hand away with both hands.

" What? The squeaking was annoying."

"See, this is what I'm talking about! You drive me nuts when you touch me, I get all flustered whenever you're around, I don't think as well, about what I'm saying, and I want to be with you, and I can't because I can't be with someone who doesn't believe in God and I'm mad at you but I can't be mad at you because you're not mine and I can't be jealous because you're not mine and..." My voice was shaking, and breaths fast and short.

I looked out the window to see we had stopped. In one of my favorite spots. It was a little back road on the way to work, but it was farmland all around.

"How'd you know about this place?" I whisper, gazing out over the field.

I heard Simon lean over, like he was leaning on the console. I could feel his closeness, as much as I didn't want to.

"Tha t one night I worked with you, you took this way rather than the highway. And the look on your face when you see new developments, you look extremely pissed. You respect farmers. You love Texas. This is one of your favorite places in the world."

I turned away from the landscape to find my face inches from Simon's. Our breaths mingled for a second.

I leaned forward, and pressed my palm to his chest, gently pushing him back. "I cant," I whisper, choking the words out.

Simon pressed his lips into a thin line. "Yeah, I thought so," he rumbled. He forced his eyes brighter. "But no one said friends can't hug each other, right?"

I thought for a moment. "Maybe once can't hurt."

We stepped out to the front of his car, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, laying my head on his shoulder. His arms were firm and certain around my waist. It felt just as I had imagined it. Right.

But as much as it felt right.

It could never be.

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #this is so true though #why am i like this #writing prompt ig

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