#these goofy puppets are driving me insane

[dippersguidetotheunexplained]

ok i know i keep harping on how i think tone was done really poorly in the bill book journal pages but like ok can we compare that to how jokes were done in the post portal incident era of journal 3 for a second because its driving me insane rn

like firstly theres barely any jokes at all in that whole section because the entire point is that ford is at the lowest point of his life and the whole rest of the book has plenty of jokes so its not like we cant afford to take a break from that for a minute but WHATEVER there are a few ok im not such a killjoy that i wont admit there are a few so lets take a look at one of them

like we get a joke here!! dog peanut butter face bit is funny i think we can all agree its a little funny. but like its all in the placement you know. the joke is here specifically so it will make the following suggestion that ford hurt himself feel even more jarring. its there along with calling the shitty diner coffee "industrial strength" to establish this slightly lighter mood that immediately gets shattered when we see that everyone in the dinner may in fact be under bills control, and that theres no where ford can go thats safe. its a really good example of humor and fear successfully being used in tandem and its one of my favorite scenes in the whole journal.

lets compare that to a section of the bill book

like the first part is one of the most gutwrenching moments in this whole section and we do not even get the luxury of a page turn separating us from the beginning of a goofy fucking photo montage. we are shown that bill is willing to last minute ditch a suicide/homicide attempt as a display of the complete control he has over fords life at this point and we are given no time to sit with this at all. we immediately go right into haha eurythmics reference funny embarrassing video of possessed ford looking crazy haha hes holding a funny sock puppet. the bright colors on the polaroid makes it the first thing you notice on the whole spread even

and like its morbid humor here ok i get that but like its still meant to be funny. and it completely throws off the deeply brutal and hopeless mood that was just established it does nothing to support what was just shown at all it feels like a desperate attempt to lighten the mood and i cannot for the life of me figure out why. especially since right after this we launch right into the extended nightmare sequence in which ford cannot move or remember who he is anymore so i guess we are suddenly meant to take everything seriously again. you know until the last sentence of that section when theres another joke again.

and also NONE OF THESE JOKES ARE EVEN FUNNYYYYYYYYYYY

[sweetest-honeybee]

Drives me insane /pos everytime I see Puppet Barnaby and human Barnaby side by side, both for your Barnaby design and Clowns Barnaby design

Like, what do you MEAN they're the same person. What do you MEAN that Goofy dog is the exact same as that absolute UNIT of a man

That was my first thought when I saw Clowns pokemon au stuff because I audibly went “god DAMN” at Barnaby’s human design 😂 And apparently if he’s so handsome, I’m taking advantage of that UwU

To be fair, crime!barnaby has to be pretty well kept for his job, I imagine he’s much more silly and causal outside of work! (Which is hilarious bc Wally only knows his at work self and not so much his off work self)

[sshbpodcast]

The Call is Coming from Inside the Starship: Horror in Star Trek

By Ames

Gather ‘round the campfire… or at least that one saute pan that’s always on fire in Neelix’s kitchen. We’ve got some scary stories to tell from some of the spookiest Star Trek episodes out there. Okay, most of the time, the episodes that go for that horror-movie style of terror really don’t get there (many of them DO end up on our Bottoms lists), but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing spine-tingling about Trek. Space is a fearsome place! Full of scary monsters and things! In fact, there’s one right behind you! Aaah!

So this week, A Star to Steer Her By is holding a flashlight under our chins, putting on our raspiest voice, and telling some frightening tales in the dark. Check out all the scariest moments below and listen to this week’s terrifying episode (things get spooky at 1:14:28), if you dare. After all, what have you got to be afraid of?

[images © CBS/Paramount]

“Catspaw”

Star Trek’s first and so far only Halloween-specific episode is also possibly one of the least scary. I suppose the dead man that beams onto the pad and keels over is icky, but the trio of witches, the generic creepy castle, the giant black cat, the goofy shapeshifting, and the tiny puppets are all more campy and weird than spooky.

“Wolf in the Fold”

There’s a serial killer on the loose, and we swear to Apollo it isn’t Scotty no matter how many times he’s spotted with a bloody knife in his hand next to a dead body. Both our horror-adjacent episodes in TOS are from Lovecraft associate Robert Bloch, so it’s no wonder the twist is that somehow Jack the Ripper is some kinda incorporeal entity that feeds on fear. Is that scary? I can’t even tell.

“Conspiracy”

Okay, if nothing else, this season one episode of The Next Generation has a chest burster that even H.R. Giger might be impressed by. That gorey puppet inside Remmick’s torso is just naaaasty! The rest of the plot circles around a pretty standard horror trope of an Invasion of the Body Snatchers kind of thing, with these little cockroaches taking over the bodies of even the highest up in Starfleet.

“Remember Me”

How claustrophobic are you? Do you mind enclosed spaces? What if you were in a room that was slowly closing in on you? In “Remember Me,” it’s not a room that’s closing in on Dr. Crusher, but the whole universe that’s constricting down to nothing. Also, people are just vanishing, never having existed in this alternate universe. It’s a psychological mindgame that’d drive a lesser mind insane.

“Night Terrors”

Most of “Night Terrors” is Deanna floating around in the dreamspace blandly calling out for someone, but you might forget that the rest of this episode is chock full of really offputting moments from everyone’s sleep-deprived minds! There’s Picard thinking the turbolift is going to crush him, Riker seeing a snake in his bed, Worf nearly killing himself, and the icing on the horrifying cake: a bunch of cadavers sitting stock straight around Bev!

“Identity Crisis”

Update 1/26/24: How could I forget to include “Identity Crisis,” which features such a creepy use of the holodeck that I’m still on edge about it? When Geordi removes all the known elements from a holoimage and there’s still a shadow on the wall, it’s disconcerting! And then the humanoid shape making the shadow appears, my skin crawls every time! It’s so effectively unnerving that I had to add it to the horror list!

“The Game”

Another Invasion of the Body Snatchers sort of story, seen from the point of view of Wesley, the last hold out on the crew to turn. Sure, it’s a pretty simple story about paranoia and the spread of something analogous to a disease and… video games or whatever, but watching every single one of your friends and family members turn into mindless drones that then hunt you down all across the ship is horror movie fodder right there.

“Realm of Fear”

We’ve talked before about what a terror box the transporter is, so when Barclay starts seeing creatures coming towards him while transporting, you just know things are going to get icky. These haunting buffer worms are already disquieting, but they can also bite you in the middle of getting beamed somewhere and that’s when things get gross. Or grosser, I guess.

“Schisms”

You’d never think a space show about meeting new aliens would even attempt an abduction episode because we talk with extraterrestrials every day, but here we are. And you know what? Though it doesn’t quite scare you, it definitely elicits an unnerved response! People on the ship are losing time and sleep and getting experimented upon, and I’d entirely lose my shit if I woke up on an alien operating table, no matter what the holodeck thinks it looks like.

“Frame of Mind”

Riker’s having yet another terrible time being abducted by aliens in “Frame of Mind.” This one’s another of that more psychological type of horror because you can never tell what’s real or what’s not (spoilers: absolutely freaking none of it!) because the aliens in question are messing with Riker’s brain, which is scary enough as it is without being trapped in a psych ward!

“Sub Rosa”

Another in that category that’s more camp than creep is “Sub Rosa,” more famously known to be kinda sorta a romance plot… ish? But with ghosts that turn out not to even be ghosts? When Nana’s corpse suddenly becomes possessed by Ronin and pops up to ker-zap Data and La Forge in the middle of a cemetery, you can see some of the horror elements coming in, but then the episode’s just about over anyway.

“Genesis”

Let’s get past the really (really!) shoddy science in this one if we can, because at the core of “Genesis” are some staple horror tropes. There are monsters on a darkened ship hiding behind any corner. There are people mutating into monsters, with really commendable makeup! There’s Picard knowing he’s infected too and needing to solve the problem before he turns into a marmot for some reason… but again, we’re ignoring the shoddy science, no matter how hard that is.

“The Adversary”

We hope you like the classic horror movie The Thing, because this episode is basically just The Thing on a starship, somehow with less body horror. There’s a shapeshifter loose on the Defiant, running around sabotaging systems. He can take the form of anything or anyone around you. You can trust no one! Especially Eddington!

“Empok Nor”

The spookiest Deep Space Nine episode has got to be “Empok Nor,” an episode that seemed to know from the get go what aesthetic it was going for and nailed it. There’s a LOT happening here, and somehow it doesn’t crumble. We’re on a busted station that’s full of zombie Cardassians with a taste for blood, and they infect Garak and turn him into a serial killer. Just the scene with all the corpses strung up from the ceiling raises the hairs on the back of my neck.

“Faces”

In addition to just being a solid early outing for the Torres character to get some development, “Faces” is also freaking nightmare fuel. Everything the Vidiians touch is just terrifying. They are monsters who will harvest your organs while you’re alive. But when Sulan walks in with Durst’s face stapled on, it is straight up something from a horror show, and a good horror show at that. I want to vomit just thinking about it.

“Threshold”

Again, we have another episode that is so goofy it’s hard to be scared by it, but you can see some of the old B-movie horror images in here. A generic lizard monster scooping up a woman and carrying her away is the cover of just about every sci-fi anthology out there! A couple of tweaks and this could have been some good horror, and even a good episode for Paris, but then he had to mutate into a salamander and botch it.

“The Thaw”

One of the best known horror episodes is the one that literally scares some characters to death. As if clowns aren’t scary enough on their own, they also psychologically torture people in a mind funhouse where a horror clown can guillotine you whenever he wants. Sure, it’s a little heavy handed on the fear stuff, but it’s a great performance from Michael McKean and a lot of trippy visuals that prove that horror doesn’t only happen in the dark.

“Macrocosm”

How much do you love Ellen Ripley in the Alien movies? Enough that you want to watch Kathryn Janeway do the same thing to a really bad CGI blob? Like in “Genesis,” it’s pretty scary to return to the ship to find everyone infested with something or other, but overall the horror tone kinda escapes this episode because of the needless flashback and just terrible floating gelatin creature. Janeway looked great though.

“Darkling”

Is it still a horror episode if you just straight up adapt the plot of a classic horror novel? When the EMH decides to do his take on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, there’s definitely some of that cringe factor that’s present in the book, especially when he captures and tries to experiment on Torres. The horror-thriller nature of the episode also ends up with the monster kidnapping a girl again, like we mentioned in “Threshold.” Fewer lizards though.

“Scorpion” et alia

Pretty much any time we encounter the Borg, it’s absolutely terrifying, so I’m distilling all the episodes with our assimilation-happy friends to this one that also adds in Species 8472 just to up the terror. I always say that walking around a Borg Cube would make for a truly unnerving theme for a haunted house. What’s scarier than finding just a creepy pile of Borg parts that someone (who?! why?! eek!) left in the middle of the room? Pardon me while I go change my pants for… no reason.

“Revulsion”

Boy, there are a lot of scary-themed episodes in Voyager (maybe because being so far from home naturally lends to being afraid?), and we’re only halfway through the list we compiled! Yet another serial killer is on the loose in “Revulsion,” and we get to watch him hunt down Torres on his creepy ship full of corpses. Yikes.

“One”

This one stands out because most of the horror comes from the idea of being alone and the tricks that your mind can play on you when you’re the most helpless. It doesn’t help that the ship is also playing tricks on you as well, giving false readings as things are literally falling apart. Oh, and the lives of the crew are depending on you lest they suffocate in their sleep on corrosive nebula air. Is a madman loose on the ship or are you just hallucinating? No pressure. Are you scared yet?

“Juggernaut”

There’s a lot of echoes of “Revulsion” in this episode, and I’m here for it. We’ve got some great settings full of just grody, gross smog making it impossible to see what’s right in front of your face. We’ve got a campfire tale of killer monsters that live in the smog. We’ve got Torres wandering around this spooky ship that might have a killer monster in it… and I’m no longer here for it; I’m hiding under my bed.

“The Haunting of Deck Twelve”

Are you afraid of the dark? Well the crew sure is! As we discussed this week, the structure of the episode could have used a little more finesse to prop up the horror themes, but there’s some good stuff here. Watching the lifeform dangle Janeway’s life in its smoky tendrils is downright unnerving. The cinematography also framed some scenes in the style of classic horror moments, and those didn’t go unnoticed either.

“Silent Enemy”

Update 1/26/24: One more that I neglected to add before was this early Enterprise episode that had some great horror elements going for it. Sure, the sum of its parts somehow added up to less than we were expecting and the aliens were too badly CGI’ed to be scary, but it’s one of the tensest episodes I can think of because, for most of the episode, we don’t know what’s lurking in the darkened corridors and talking back to us with our snippets from our own conversations! Eek!

“Vox Sola”

Are spiderwebs still scary without the spiders? I’m gonna say yes, as long as the webs themselves are some kind of lifeform that is sucking the energy out of you, infesting the ship, and growing to fill a whole damn cargo bay. This is a rare instance of something that seems like it’s going to be a horror episode turning into normal science fiction in the way that the ordeal is resolved, and that’s quite refreshing.

“Impulse”

For reasons, Enterprise decided to capitalize on the zombie resurgence that the previous year’s 28 Days Later had reignited. So they made a very by-the-book zombie story that really wasn’t much else. The episode is that general sort of suspense that one expects from a genre where normal people turn into monsters lurking in dark corridors. The filming serves that creepiness and the makeup was bang-on too, so there’s that.

“Context is for Kings”

Discovery gets in on the scary stuff early in the series in the very first episode aboard the titular starship and our first mission is to subdue a monster on the corpse-filled Glenn. Things get scary, with massive piles of gore to wade through, until we learn that Ripper is really just a loveable giant tardigrade that you just wanna snuggle up with like an oversized teddy bear! Big “Devil in the Dark” vibes off that twist.

“All Those Who Wander”

Okay, last one we have the guts to watch before cowering under the blankets, and it’s a very recent episode! Strange New Worlds actually makes the Gorn into a real villainous race that is not only powerful, but downright scary. This nerve-racking episode is structured just like a good “monster on the ship” story like Alien, and even includes a chestburster (or I guess a bunch of backbursters).

— Well I’m gonna have some nightmares tonight after all that. Were they all good Star Trek episodes? Oh certainly not, but you gotta love when the lights get dim and the camerawork gets fancy and there’s probably something creeping in the corners. Keep the nightlight on with us for more next week, as we wrap season six of Voyager over on the podcast and give our tops and bottoms. Also be sure to hang out with us on Facebook and Twitter, and check under your bed for monsters. You’re bound to find some.

[3mpaant]

for my first actual post i’ll share my dhmis redraws </33

(tw for very heavy blood+gore on the second and third ones!!)

my god i need to draw full artworks more of tjem,,, my little crinklies,,,

[hadanelith]

Just got back from finally seeing TLJ... I don't think I've been this disappointed in a Star Wars movie since Phantom Menace. This movie was *awful*, both as a Star Wars movie and just as a film.

Massive, total spoilers below the cut.

The opening sequence was bad. While the whole phone call thing was a decently funny bit, it went on about 2 exchanges too long. The space battle that followed was insultingly stupid, between the idea that this Dreadnaught has no effective anti-starfighter defenses and the ludicrous design of the bombers with *gravity bombs*. This sequence was effectively a straight up WWII bombing run, and it just didn't make any sense. Rey's badgering of Luke went on too long, and while it kind of aped the kung fu movie 'seek out the master, he refuses to train you but he's actually testing you/teaching you the whole time he's refusing' thing, it didn't pan out in the end at all, so it felt completely wasted. The rebel fleet escaping to deep space was fine. The FO tracking them was fine. The idea that they would just follow along, shooting at them ineffectively for hours and hours, is just insane. I was specifically irritated that they remembered that ships have shields NOW, but they totally didn't during the opening battle or the starfighter fight that started the chase. Are they going with the idea that starfighters ignore shields for some bullshit reason? If so, why would they not send in a massive starfighter wave to end the battle? The FO had 6+ Star Destroyers plus the Super Star Destroyer - they should have had at least three or four hundred TIEs, and since TIEs blew out the bridge and space Leia, they must be capable of otherwise hurting the ships. This whole ticking clock siege setup was dumb, and the follow on effects were bad too. Spacing Leia felt like 'oh, so that's how they're gonna fix it', and then they didn't. Instead they have her explicitly use the Force, which, okay, fine, but what the hell? I guess they just wanted her out of the way for a while, and couldn't think of a better way? Finn trying to cut and run? Fine. Rose catching him? Fine. Them turning around and hatching a plan to save the fleet? No. The dialogue was bizarre during this bit, and the instant turn-around from anger to camaraderie felt very forced. Poe going with it? Eh, it fits. The casino planet was one sequence that went on exactly as long as was reasonable, without drastically overstaying its welcome. It was a bit on the ham handed side, mind you, but it didn't drag on, the action half was fun, and no part of it felt too out of left field. Getting back to the fleet, Poe's little mutiny could have been completely prevented just by telling everyone the plan. Not doing so was ludicrous. Then there's the Holdo maneuver. Why the HELL did she wait that long? If the whole plan was a noble sacrifice, why wait until half the damn shuttles got blown up to get started? Just do it straight off! It also opens a brand new can of worms. Someone finally realized that a sufficiently fast drive system is also a powerful weapon. Great. Now ramming things at FTL is a thing that you can reasonably do in Star Wars. That's...a solution that no one EVER considered for the Death Stars? Especially since according to TFA, hyperdrive bypasses shields? The Rebels could have just rammed a Mon Cal cruiser straight into Death Star II, ignored the planetary shield, and won with only materiel losses and no personnel! This is a TERRIBLE precedent to set! Finn, Rose, and the slicer on the SSD: eh? BB-8 as a trash can was cute, the evil BB-8 was just merchandising, the shot of the iron descending was actually a fun shot, cinematigraphically. Getting caught, the slicer selling them out, and almost getting executed? Eh. Finn and Phasma fighting? WHY? Why bring back Phasma after they threw her in a trash compactor, just to kill her off anyway in a fight that means nothing and goes nowhere? Not-Hoth: I really liked the visuals. I liked the salt-foxes (but that's mostly just me being a sucker for foxes). But setting up for Battle of Hoth version 2 was really goofy. Why was the big gun ('based on Death Star tech', doesn't look at all like Death Star anything...)TOWED? Why did they tow it with mono-purpose walkers (that were based on Strandbeests, which is cool, but pointless)? Why the FUCK did Rose stop Finn from making HIS heroic sacrifice? I'm sorry, her reasoning is bullshit, and then they didn't even have her die!

Rewinding to Rey: Luke is *completely* out of character. His refusing is bullshit, his lessons are bullshit, his reasoning is bullshit, and the whole thing is character assassination of the highest order. Rey, meanwhile, is stuck with a whiny emo in her head, the poor girl. Those conversations drag on for way too long, and continue to include Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron, so I'm not a fan. The library tree was some hilarious bullshit - up until this point, only Han has called the Jedi a 'religion', so having Luke suddenly talking about the 'holy texts' was way weird. Ditto the idea that they've been on this tiny island on some planet no one's heard of, and not, say, in the JEDI TEMPLE. The FUCK? The whole 'infinity mirror' well of the Dark Side thing was just weird. I liked the effect, I liked the whole bit with Rey trying to figure out what the deal was...but there was NO PAYOFF. I thought they were going to go with some kinda 'many possible futures' thing or something, but for it all to come to exactly NOTHING was really weird. The back and forth about the day Ben Solo became Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron felt like more character assassination of Luke. Also irritating - they keep mentioning other students, but they never bother to show them at all. Then Rey steals the books, and leaves. Joy. Luke's whole conversation with Ghost!Yoda was bizarre. I appreciate that they dug out the old puppet, but why? Yoda was inscrutable, Luke was inscrutable, a Force Ghost had physical effect on the world, which was new and unnecessary, and the whole thing felt way out of place. Rey ends up on the SSD with Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron, and they go talk to Mutant McGrossFace, who is a condescending dickhead, but not as good a condescending dickhead as Palps, so...meh. Special shoutout to Rey summoning the lightsaber and Mutant McGrossFace clobbering her in the head with it. The way Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron kills him was pretty sweet; the big fight sequence was kinda sweet, if gratuitous; the whole 'battle of wills staring contest while doing aggressive jazz hands at each other' thing went on for FOREVER. sigh. Rey...escapes. Off screen. Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron becomes new 'Supreme Leader'. I notice that even his subordinates don't really believe in him very much. Oh, additional shoutout to the last kill in the fight with the red guard guys - that was something people have been thinking was a good idea for a long time, so it was fun to see.

Rewinding again: Chewbacca is in this movie. His little scene with the Porgs was...two shots too long, and completely pointless. And that is basically the sum total of his involvement in this movie.

Right, big finale! Luke shows up on not-Hoth, taunts Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron into fighting him, doesn't actually fight, turns out he isn't really there. This is a major Force Illusion, and it's actually kind of neat, even if it kills him in the end. Rey and Chewie draw off the TIEs in the Falcon in a fun little flight sequence through some salt crystal caves, which is fine. Porgs show up here as comic relief, which is...acceptable, I guess? They don't get in the way, which is nice. The Resistance escapes with the help of the salt foxes, Rey does some pretty significant TK, and they all escape. Luke dies, Rose is comatose, and we end by flying away in the Falcon. Feels like the end of TFA, and not in a great way. The last shot was purely setup, and it felt like some Marvel-style foreshadowing stuff. I do not approve.

Acting:

Decent acting by most people that got to do stuff. Massively hamstrung by the script. I find it telling that Mark Hamill has said (not the exact quote, but the gist) 'I disagree with everything you're doing to Luke, but I'll go do my job as an actor'. Guess it's a good thing they killed him off. But they didn't kill Leia, even when they had an easy way to do so. How the hell are they gonna fix that come the next movie? Kill her off screen? Major shoutouts to Adam Driver and Domhnall Gleeson - they managed to be thoroughly unlikeable villains, turning in convincing performances despite the script. Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron is exactly that, which appears intentional, so that was good acting. Hux was conceptually the worst sort of elitist British Imperialist, and he was exactly that. Apparently Gleeson did a LOT of research on how to portray the role convincingly, and it shows. Boyega does a decent job as Finn, but he has to fight with characterization as someone who is way more naive than the actor. Oscar Isaac turns in a good performance as Poe, despite getting handed the idiot ball by the script. Carrie does fine as Leia, but she doesn't actually get to do much in the movie. As her last hurrah, it's pretty muted. Daisy Ridley does alright with what she has - but she has to play a girl who has Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron in her head AND Massive Dick Alternate Universe Luke Skywalker being a dick to her face. Her perseverance is kind of admirable. They didn't get Peter Mayhew as Chewie. Maybe that's why he's barely in the movie. Andy Serkis is fine as Snoke. He's not as good at being evil as Ian McDiarmid, but what can you do? Laura Dern as Admiral Holdo...she's written as a bitch, she pulls it off just fine. My complaint is her script, not the acting. Kelly Marie Tran as Rose is...fine, I guess? Again, I mostly hate the script, not the actress.

The nitpicks: Do shields work, or not? Make up your minds! Capital ships have never needed fuel before. This is a limitation that they have added for this movie. I wish they hadn't. Gravity doesn't work like that, space bomber friends. How the hell do they *hear* the Star Destroyers arriving on the planet's surface at the beginning? During Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron's big 'fight' with Luke, they couldn't figure out which way he was holding his lightsaber, shot to shot. Porgs nesting in the Falcon's wiring? And Chewie doesn't say or do *anything*? Really? Given the size of the island, what the hell is up with the 'caretaker' aliens? Also, how the hell do they not exist for apparent DAYS, and then they have just always been there? Why the hell do they show us Luke's X-Wing, and then never do the 'lift it from the sea' shot? Or do ANYTHING with it at all? Why is the Mon Cal Cruiser's hanger bay empty for like 150 meters while Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron is flying through it, with a handful of fighters right at the back end? Why in the world don't the FO use all the TIE Fighters they obviously have? Actually, why is the only real dogfight the terrible bomber escort bit at the beginning? This is Star Wars, dammit, X-Wings dogfighting with TIE Fighters is something that should happen a lot. Why are the cops on the casino planet wearing samurai helmets? Why didn't Holdo bother to just TELL Poe (and everyone else, for that matter) the plan? Why did Holdo wait until half the shuttles were gone, just watching, before her (clearly planned) suicide run? Actually, why not evac the medical frigate BEFORE it runs out of fuel, and use THAT to ram? Why does no one but evil!BB-8 question the moving, beeping trashcan? Why in the FUCK does the entire 'infinity mirror' sequence come to literally NOTHING? There's probably more, but those are the ones that came to mind.

Final thoughts: Everything that has anything to do with the Force in this movie is basically garbage (except Snoke whacking Rey with the lightsaber, that was hilarious). The characters all grab the idiot ball, nobody (except Finn and Rose) bother to tell anyone else what they're about to do, and Luke just straight up gets fucked as a character. The space battles are unsatisfying...actually, they're mostly just insulting to your intelligence. Rian Johnson just doesn't GET Star Wars. What it's about, why we watch it, what people like about it.

This film is structurally a mess and thematically a disaster. I rate it way worse than TFA, worse than Episodes II and III. I honestly can't decide if I dislike this more than the Phantom Menace. If you're a Star Wars fan, this movie doesn't want you to like it, and if you're not...then why would you start with Episode EIGHT?

[niamsuggitt]

The Ides Of May 2017

Hi guys! It’s that time of the month again, time for me to write a ‘lil bit about all of the various media I’ve stuffed into my gaping eye and ear-holes over the past 30 days. I would have included mouth-holes there too, but Nintendo deliberately made Switch cartridges taste horrible so unfortunately I haven’t been able to eat one. Oh well.

This month includes the return of some Sitcom favourites, more of me slowly, ever-so-slowly playing Zelda, a Booker Prize winner and a nice heap of Marvel Cinematic Universe fun.

Let’s do it!

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Movies

Once again there’s only 2 movies this month, and whilst they are both very different, both provide quite a bit to think and talk about. Up first is Anomalisa (Charlie Kaufman and Duke Johnson 2015). This may be surprising given the types of films I normally like, but before watching Anomalisa I have to admit to not liking Charlie Kaufman as a writer. I’ve seen Eternal Sunshine, Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, and none of them resonated with me like they do for so many others. I just find him a bit… pretentious? Like he tries too hard to do different things and in the end it just obscures what he’s actually trying to say? I dunno. But much to my surprise and pleasure, I really enjoyed Anomalisa, which is different from Kaufman’s other work in that it’s animated. This stop-motion story follows a man (voiced by David Thewlis) who is on a business trip to Cincinnati. This man, Michael, sees everyone else in the world, including his wife, a former girlfriend, as the same person. They have the same face, and the same voice (Tom Noonan). That is until he stumbles across one other person who looks different, Lisa, (Jennifer Jason Leigh). It’s a complicated, dare I say, pretentious set-up, but for me it works. The animation is fantastic, incredibly detailed, and it’s used to go to places other animated films wouldn’t. This is a truly adult film, so if after Team America you wanted to see more puppet nudity and sex… I’ve got you covered. The way the technique of having everyone except Michael and Lisa be the same person works is incredibly effective and disorientating. It took about 10 minutes for me to twig it, the unease sort of snuck up on me. I said earlier that I think Kaufman’s gimmickry gets in the way of what he is actually trying to say, but that is not the case here, I think I pretty much got what the film was saying about solipsism, and how so many other films feature a ‘manic pixie dream girl’ who shakes a depressed male protagonist out of their funk. Anomalisa flips your expectations here. Lisa is not Michael’s soulmate, she’s just a blip in his mental illness. If it even is that, he might just be an asshole. That’s not to say that Lisa isn’t a well-drawn character, because she is, and Leigh’s voice acting makes her come to life. Then again, maybe this isn’t what Kaufman and Johnson are saying at all and I’m an idiot. Either way, Anomalisa is a fascinating film that has been rotating in my head since I watched it. It’s unlike anything else I’ve seen lately, and has me reconsidering my position on Charlie Kaufman. I certainly plan on watching the other film he directed, rather than just wrote, Synecdoche New York, and maybe I’ll go back to those other, older films.

Up next, I took a step away from the esoteric puppet show towards the mainstream blockbuster and into the cinema, as I went to see Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 (James Gunn 2017) which is of course (of course) the third film in the third phase of the monolithic Marvel Cinematic Universe. As is par for the course when writing about these films (and some, most, of the TV projects) I feel like I have to fully lay out a bit of bias. I love these films and just seeing these characters on screen and being done justice like this takes away a lot of my critical faculties. Problems I have with other, similar movies, I can brush aside because, hey, it’s the MCU, I trust these people. But that aside, I thoroughly enjoyed Guardians 2, and whilst I don’t think it’s quite as good as the first one, I really appreciate it’s weirdness and how much crazy Marvel Universe lore it puts out there, if only just to hint at. The film of course sees all of our favourites from the first film, Star-Lord, Gamara, Drax, Rocket and Groot return for another adventure, but this time, the stakes are far more personal, as Star-Lord meets his father, Ego, who is brilliantly portrayed by Kurt Russell. Firstly, it was just awesome to be back with these characters again, they are just so much fun. The Guardians are perhaps the MCU versions that are the most different from the originals (of course, the comics have in turn, begun to reflect the movies far more) and as such I have a different emotional attachment to them. I’m not constantly comparing Gamora to the 500 Gamora comics I’ve read in my life, I’m just invested in her relationship with Nebula, and with Star-Lord. As I mentioned, the main plot here is Peter and his father, but the script makes sure that every Guardian (except maybe Baby Groot, but he’s adorable enough that you don’t mind) has their own story. Drax forms a bond with the newcomer Mantis (who is great!), Gamora fights her sister again, but even more personally, and Rocket deals with his anger driving people away. I found myself invested in all of these storylines, and it mean that, whilst the overall plot did sag a bit in the middle of the film, I didn’t mind. I will say that I am a bit sick of people dismissing Star-Lord’s story as ‘just more daddy issues’ or something like that. I think that’s reductive, and to me, the real plotline is how much Peter Quill still cares about his mother. His love for her is what snaps him out of cosmic brainwashing, and let’s not forget that, as awesome as the classic soundtracks are, they do serve an emotional purpose, as they are his only link to Earth, and to his mum. Maybe it’s just because my mother died of cancer as well (although hers wasn’t put there by an evil Celestial, at least I don’t think it was), but if anything, this is far more of a ‘mommy issues’ movie than a daddy issues one. I mentioned the soundtrack earlier, and I will say that this particular ‘awesome mix’ was a bit of step down, with the songs either being too mainstream (Fleetwood Mac, ELO) or way too obscure. Maybe I’m asking too much, but the first movie’s track selection was just perfect, hard for lightning to strike twice I suppose. The other character I want to specially highlight is Michael Rooker as Yondu, who is just amazing here. He has real pathos behind him and makes a character I never really knew into an absolute favourite. His storyline also sees the film do something I really didn’t expect and bring in more of the ‘original’ Guardians, the ones who, in the comics, were in the future. This movie has Sylvester Goddamn Stallone in it as Starhawk and I went in without knowing! I love that Gunn hasn’t forgotten the likes of Charlie-27 and Martinex, and that a major movie can feature characters as weird as them. That’s what sets this film apart from me, it’s not afraid to get a bit odd, and to use weird elements from the source material to their full potential. A few years ago, Ego The Living Planet would be considered way too goofy for a film, but not here, here he’s Kurt Russell! Some of this is pure fan-service, but as mentioned, when it comes to these films, I don’t mind that at all. The Stan Lee cameo was amazing, the teaser in the credits for Adam Warlock blew my mind (it took me an embarrassingly long time to connect Ayesha and her golden skin to that classic cosmic character). This film’s links to the wider universe are like that, more hints. I did expect some big Thanos developments, but ultimately, I don’t mind spending 2 hours just inside these goofball’s messed-up heads. I can’t wait for Vol.3, and I hope that, when the Guardians appear in Avengers: Infinity War, they don’t lose what makes them special. This film was just a blast, it delivers more of what you want, as well as surprising you with where it goes, the best kind of sequel.

Television

There’s one new TV show for me to talk about this time out, in the form of American Gods (Starz), the long-awaited adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s 2001 novel. This is an interesting series for me adaptation-wise because, whilst I have read the book, it was a long time ago and I don’t really remember a lot of what happened. Just the basic gist really. This isn’t like Game Of Thrones or The Expanse where the source material is fresh as a daisy in my mind and I’m constantly comparing the show to what I already know. Here, I’m kind of hazy on the details and it’s a lot of fun being surprised both by what I didn’t know, and what I forgot I knew! The basic plot has barely begun, but basically, Gods are real, they live in America, they are at war, and a man named Shadow Moon (as far as I can call this dumb-ass name does have a good explanation) is drawn into their world after the death of his wife and his release from prison (on the same day). Not only is that, to me, a great intriguing premise, but it’s really elevated by some fantastic performances and amazing visual flair. One of the show’s main producers is Bryan Fuller, from Hannibal, and the opening 2 episodes where directed by David Slade, who directed a fair few episodes of that show too, so you can really tell that there’s a link in how the series looks and feels. The dream sequences and trippier moments are straight out of Hannibal, they are brilliant. There’s a sex montage in Episode 2 with Bilquis that is just insane. The performances so far have been great as well, Ian Fucking McShane is of course stealing the show as Mr Wednesday, but Ricky Whittle is really doing well as Shadow, which must be a hard role to play as he’s kind of intentionally inscrutable and a bit blank. And, if you watch nothing else, watch Orlando Jones’ monologue as Anansi that opens Episode 2. It is one of the best single scene performances I’ve ever seen, it knocked me for a loop. It’s only been 2 episodes, but this is already a fantastic, ambitious series that’s unlike anything else on TV. I can’t wait to see where it goes, and what else I can remember.

This month also saw the return of 2 of my favourite US Comedies. Silicon Valley (HBO) is back for a 4th season of tech-based misadventures. So far this season has managed to somehow feel like more of the same, but also change things up in a lot of interesting ways, as the characters move about into new situations. At the end of Season 3 it felt like we were right back to the beginning, but that wasn’t the case, as we’ve seen multiple characters leave companies, join new ones, sell companies, and all sorts of other manoeuvring. The prospect of Richard actually working with Gavin Belson is very exciting. In amongst all of these shake-ups, the characters have continued to be as funny as ever. I love how Big Head continues to fail upwards, he’s now a Professor at Stanford! And seeing Dinesh get a girlfriend is something we haven’t seen before. I’m also enjoying the increased role for Jian-Yang. Jimmy O. Yang has always been very funny in his brief scenes, but now he’s getting actual stories, which is cool. And man, Zach Woods is still killing it as Jared. He had one moment of madness in Episode 4 that had me wetting itself. At times it does feel like Silicon Valley is in a groove, but it’s such an enjoyable groove!

One series that hasn’t been afraid to get out of it’s groove is Veep (HBO), which is now in Season 6, and is a very different show this season. Of course it changed when Armando Iannucci left, but now that Selina Meyer is out of office, it’s even more different. With the character scattered all over the place, I did feel like the first one or two episodes were a bit lacking, but after that, it’s really found it’s feet and become just as funny and scathing as ever. In the wake of Trump it was going to be difficult for Veep to be the same show as it was before, so wisely it’s pivoted, it still has a lot to say about America and politics, but really, it’s become more about seeing who these characters are in new situations. I’m particularly enjoying Dan working as a TV News Anchor and Jonah as a Congressman has just been brutally brilliant, especially with Mary Holland joining the cast as his new ‘girlfriend’. It’s also interesting that the series has started to delve deeper into Selina as a character, and her backstory. She may be a bit ridiculous, but in the world of the show, she is the first ever female Vice President and the President, she is interesting. So yes, Veep has changed, but it’s still intelligent and funny and well worth watching. When real politics is as scary as it is these days, we need this magnificent bastards to laugh at.

Now for quick hits! We’ll start with comedies. LOL! LOL indeed.

The final episode ever of Girls (HBO) was a bit of an odd one, it jumped ahead to the birth of Hannah’s baby (the horrifically named Grover, and that’s a ‘Niam’ saying that) and only featured Hannah and Marnie from the main cast, out in the middle of nowhere. In a lot of ways, it was a typical Girls way for the series to end, Lena Dunham has never really done the conventional thing. I enjoyed it, particularly Becky Ann Baker’s performance. She’s always been excellent and underrated as Hannah’s mother. I will miss Girls, it was funny, different and always provoked debate, and I can’t wait to see what projects Dunham does next. As infuriating as she can be, she is very talented. How about a Dunham/Max Landis collaboration? That could destroy the internet.

I reached the end of BoJack Horseman (Netflix) Season 3, and holy shit, that was brutal. What happened to Sarah-Lynn just fucked me up. And then it’s followed up by the sublime ridiculousness of Mr. Peanutbutter’s spaghetti strainers actually being useful! That sums up BoJack for me, it can be gloriously silly and funny, but at it’s core it’s a dark series about depression and the sadness at the core of humanity (or animality, whatever). It’s one of my favourite shows ever at this point, and I am very excited for Season 4, and just where BoJack is going to go now. It’ll be bad… but also so, so good.

The Last Man On Earth (FOX) also wrapped up its 3rd season very well. Jasper has been a fun addition to the cast, and the 2-part finale in particular was a great, as the series once again upended it’s cast. Erica gave birth to her baby, but then Nuclear Reactors started going off and they had to flee. This series continues to be brilliant at balancing comedy and real dark drama, as the consequences of a post-apocalyptic world are actually thought out. The very last moment also brought Kristen Wiig in contact with the main cast, and what a way to do it.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX) has continued to be very funny and strong, and one episode in particular really surprised me, as ‘Moo Moo’ became a serious examination of racial profiling in the Police Force. It’s rare that Brooklyn Nine-Nine addresses real issues, but it did it very well here, I think it should actually do more, especially in this era where the Police, in America especially, are not so popular. I don’t want it to become propaganda for the cops, but it can certainly shine a light on some real issues. As well as being dumb and funny with great actors of course.

The ‘Dreamland’ arc of Archer (FXX) is still going strong. It’s just a lot of fun to see these characters in this setting, and the storyline by itself has actually been rather arresting, with a lot of fun twists and turns. I’ve particularly liked Eugene Mirman’s performance as Cheryl’s brother. He’s delightfully creepy. Also, is Pam just a man in dreamland? Her character isn’t meant to be a woman in drag, here, she’s just a man? I kind of love that.

Oh, and I watched one more episode of Inside No. 9 (BBC Two), ‘Tom & Gerri’. It was very good, and actually managed to surprised me with the twist at the end. It was fun to see Lord Varys himself, Conleth Hill play an actually nice person, and Gemma Arterton was good too. That’s the strength of an anthology show, they can bring in really big names for just one episode.

Bridging the gap from comedy to drama is Better Call Saul (AMC) which is having an excellent third season, as it gets closer and closer to Breaking Bad territory. Not only has Gus finally appeared (with Giancarlo Esposito just as good as ever) but the whole tone of those scenes is straight out of the parent show. Episode 4, ‘Sabrosito’ barely seemed to feature Odenkirk at all. But that doesn’t mean that the series has just become Breaking Bad-lite, as the following episode ‘Chicanery’ was all courtroom stuff, and really did a fascinating job at delving into the central Jimmy/Chuck relationship. It really needs to be said again, but both Odenkirk and Michael McKean are amazing in this show, tour-de-force performances. This stretch of episodes has been a great microcosm of what makes Better Call Saul so good and basically the perfect prequel. It has plenty of links to what came before, including themes and cameos (Huell!) and camera work, but it’s also very capable of being it’s own, separate thing. So good.

The Season 2 finale of The Expanse (Sy Fy) was another strong episode in an exceptionally strong season. It was an incredibly tense episode that brought a lot of things to a head. The central plot of the Protomolecule monster being on the Rocinante tied everything together and, perhaps most importantly, brought the central crew of characters onto the same page. It’s interesting that the show isn’t precisely following a ‘1 season = 1 book’ model, and I like that, it’s allowing for things to unfold at a different pace.

The Americans (FX) is having an… interesting season. It’s still very good and all of the performances and episodes have been good, but, maybe it’s just me, but it doesn’t seem as focused as it used to, which is odd, because the writers know they only have this and next year to wrap things up. Maybe that’s actually the reason, they know they have a guaranteed 26 episodes, so can pace things differently? Either way, there doesn’t seem to be any particular driving plot, missions and side characters come and go, and whilst each individual hour has been strong, it’s not a satisfying whole. Yet. I think maybe something big is going to happen (Pacha’s suicide? Something with Pastor Tim?) that will lead to a major event in the finale. Or at least I hope so. This is a fantastic series so maybe I just have too high expectations.

Now it’s time for everybody’s favourite corner… superhero corner!

So far in iZombie (The CW) Season 3, the biggest pleasure for me has been the classic thing, seeing Rose McIver play Liv on various different types of brain. Hippie Yoga Liv, gossipy bitch Liv, Dominatrix Liv and Hot Mess Liv have all been hilarious. I really think McIver is underrated by how she manages to play so many different shades of the same person. Some of the individual cases of the week have been a bit weak, but her performance, along with the new development of Clive knowing she’s a Zombie have made it work. As for the over-arching plots, I liked the way the show revealed that Blaine had been faking his memory loss, and what that means for Major and Liv going forward. The Fillmore Graves plot has been on the back burner a bit, but you just know it’s going to explode later.

Gotham (FOX) has returned with some really great episodes and has become a show that really embraces it’s ridiculousness, and is all the better for it. Corey Michael Smith in full on Riddler mode, green suit and all, is so much fun, as is Penguin and Poison Ivy gathering an ‘Army Of Freaks’ and a goddamn clone of Bruce Wayne. I’m also really enjoying this take on the Court Of Owls, I’ve said this before, but I get an extra kick out of seeing more recent concepts like this used in other media, and so it’s awesome to see something Scott Snyder invented on TV. Gotham is dumb, but it’s the good dumb.

The Flash (The CW) revealed who Savitar was, and it was… actually satisfying. The fact that Barry (or at least a Time Remnant of him) becomes his own worst enemy is interesting, and it’s a perfect expression of the consequences of too much time-travel meddling. What I found cool was that the show followed this big, tragic reveal with a somewhat broad comedy episode where Barry lost his memories. Not only was this funny, but it showed why the show needs a bit more levity. When Barry gets too Emo, things get bad (as shown by the trip to the future, where Barry literally was Emo). I’m also really enjoying Anne Dudek’s guest role as Tracy Brand. Her chemistry with Tom Cavanaugh is a lot of fun. 2 episodes left, and I hope they continue to get the balance between drama and fun right. The Flash is one of those characters who needs to stay optimistic.

Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.LD. (ABC) has continued it’s hot-streak with more really fantastic episodes. This Hydra alternate reality arc really has been excellent. It’s allowed us to learn more about the characters, had a real impact, and also allowed the show to comment somewhat on real world political elements. It was cheap, but referring to Hydra’s ‘alternative facts’ and ‘fake news’ was great. The performances have also gone up a gear, Henry Simmons choosing to stay in the Framework was a great, although I do think that somehow they’ll use that machine to bring his daughter into the ‘real world’. Although they might be saving that for Face Turn Grant Ward. I also want to praise Iain De Caestecker, who has taken Fitz from somewhat of a comic relief character into probably the most complex person on the show. He played the ‘evil’ Fitz so well I almost feared he would still be bad once he was back. Mallory Jansen has also been very good, whether as Aida, Agnes or now Ophelia, she has played the same person in 3 very interesting ways. I can’t wait to see how this finale ends things, and to see what Season 4 brings. It feels weird to say this after the slow start, but Agents Of SHIELD is one of the better adventure shows on the air.

And finally, I finished watching Marvel’s Iron Fist (Netflix), and whilst it does have it’s share of problems and is probably the least of the ‘Defenders’ shows, I still very much enjoyed it and am excited to see more of this version of Danny Rand, particularly alongside Luke Cage. Heroes For Hire! I’m not going to re-tread the race conversation as we discussed that last time, so instead I’ll say that, as is customary, some of the episodes did drag a bit in the middle before an exciting ending, and I do think the show’s budget was a bit too low. I think that really hurt things as we never go to actually see K’un Lun or the Dragon Shou-Lou. I wanted a goddamn dragon getting it’s heart ripped out of it, is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. I also think it took way too long for Danny to realise that Howard Meachum was a bad dude, but that naïveté is intentional, and a great character bit. The performances only improved as it went on. Finn Jones is actually very convincing, and both Jessica Henwick and Tom Pelphrey were brilliant. I actually think Pelphrey’s Ward Meachum might be one of the best performances in the MCU, as he manages to make some pretty dumb plot developments work just through his performance. I did like how, by the end, things had been twisted and it was Ward who was working alongside Danny, and Joy who had become his enemy. That was unexpected and fun. Her working alongside Gao and Davos should be interesting in a second season. I did like Davos’ role later on too, Sacha Dhawan was very good, although why does someone from K’un Lun sound so Mancunian? I admit it, I am an MCU mark, but Iron Fist really isn’t that bad, if you give it a chance, it is well worth it, and can only improve. Look, it took Agents Of SHIELD 3 years to get good, I think sometimes we need to appreciate that.

Music

There’s only one album this time out, but it’s kind of a big deal, as Gorillaz are back with their first album in 7 years, Humanz (Parlophone/Warner Bros. 2017). Now the Gorillaz are pretty significant band for me, their eponymous debut was one of the first CDs I bought from myself and I must have played that and Demon Days hundreds of times. Plastic Beach had less of an impact, and I don’t think I’ve actually listened to The Fall. So I’m kind of a lapsed fan, however this particular hype train, and the idea that this was some kind of politically vital and contemporary record brought me back in, and I bought the album, hell, I got the deluxe edition! After listening to it a few times, it’s pretty good, but a lot of that hype is way over-blown. There’s nothing here that’s particularly timely, it’s just the usual Gorillaz mix of interesting backing beats, fantastic guest contributors and Damon Albarn getting to experiment. That’s not a bad thing, but I think I went into it expecting something truly game-changing. That’s probably more on me than Gorillaz though. As I said, the guest stars on here are fantastic, I particularly like Vince Staples on ‘Ascension’, Grace Jones on ‘Charger’ and Benjamin Clementine on ‘Hallelujah Money’, those are great tracks. It’s also a lot of fun to try and spot Noel Gallagher on ‘We Got The Power’. How crazy is it that Albarn and Gallagher are on the same song? Britpop Hell has frozen over. So yeah, this album is decent, but as is probably par for the course with Gorillaz, the ideas and concepts around it are more interesting. The idea of all of these artists reacting to Trump (or not Trump, an un-specified huge event) is great, but the end result isn’t that amazing. I say par for the course, because what’s always appealed most about Gorillaz isn’t just the music, but the whole package, the artwork from Jamie Hewlett, which is fantastic. I think I like the artwork in the leaflet more than the album! Gorillaz are a unique project, and I’ll always appreciate them, but I think I want more than just cool artwork and weird samples from my music at this stage.

Books

2 books this month. I think my reading pace has slowed down a bit, not sure why. Hmm, anyway, I started the month with the last 100 pages or so of Jonathan Wilson’s Angels With Dirty Faces (2016). The history of Argentinian Football got pretty much up to date, as Wilson gets up to the current era of Messi, Aguero, Tevez, Higuain etc. It was pretty much I thought it would be, as the Argentinian domestic game has been basically ruined by all of the best players moving to Europe. What I didn’t know was the state of hooliganism and fan violence in Argentina, which was surprising, and also the continued political links in the game. The fact that the Argentinian government owns the broadcasting rights to league football and uses it for propaganda purposes is very unique, and I would have liked more exploration of that. Imagine if Theresa May was on Match Of The Day or something, At least we know Corbyn is an Arsenal fan. Overall, the end of the book lived up to the rest of it, this was a very readable, informative history of a fascinating subject and culture. Argentina’s national identity is inextricably linked with it’s football, and now, I feel like i understand that country so much more.

After this, I got my fancy literature on, as I read the winner of the 2016 Man Booker Prize, The Sellout (2015) by Paul Beatty. Only this isn’t the kind of novel you’d really expect to win such a lofty, some would say wanky, prize. It’s an incredibly dark satire of American Race relations, and it’s actually very funny. The plot sees an unnamed African-American man (he’s only referred to as ‘Me’, which I think is his surname (So his name is like ‘Dave Me’ or ‘Tom Me’ or something) who somewhat accidentally brings back both segregation and slavery to the LA suburb he lives in. It’s an insane premise, but it works, and Beatty’s witty writing carries it through even the largest logic leaps. Much like with last month and ‘Get Out’, I don’t feel like I can fully parse a lot of the more caustic racial elements, being a white non-American, but it was shocking at times, and certainly made me look at certain things differently. I would be interested in reading some of Beatty’s other books, he has a unique sense of humour. I will say that I didn’t really laugh out loud at reading this, like many of the blurbs did, but then I’m struggling to think of many books that did make me LOL. I just don’t do it, even with comics. I think seeing something written down elicits a different reaction in me. More of a wry smile, or an ‘oh, that’s funny, I get that’ than actually laughing. The Sellout comes close though! Maybe literary prizes aren’t so bad…

Games

As mentioned in the intro, I’m still making my way rather slowly through The Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild (Nintendo Switch 2017). I need to carve more time out to play it, but video games, even ones as good as this, are still bottom of my entertainment list. I only really play it when  I have nothing else to watch, read or listen to. As of now, I’ve finally got off the Great Plateau and am in the wider world of Hyrule, and man, it is intimidatingly big. That sense of freedom to do what you want can be both very freeing, but also kind of freezing. I can’t decide where to go, so in the end I don’t really go anywhere. Does that make sense? I’ve just been wandering around and not really advancing the plot. But still, this is an incredibly good game, the look of it is so beautiful, and it’s even more so after the Plateau. I think that is what’s holding me back from playing more, because it looks so good on the big TV, I’m not putting the Switch’s handheld mode to use to play when someone else is using it. The controls are just that level of intuitive that, for me, only Nintendo can reach. The Joycons on the Switch are bit flimsy, but after while, I’m used to it. I’m of two minds on what to do next video-game wise. I really want to pick up Mario Kart 8, especially because my girlfriend wants to do multiplayer,  but can I justify it when I’ve barely scratched the surface of Zelda?

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That’s it! Just an addendum for you, after writing that last bit about the Switch and whether I should by Mario Kart… I went and ordered it on Amazon. So expect something about that next week. I also bought La La Land, so you’ll get to read my lukewarm take on that film on or near June 15th. I’ll probably be lame and quite like it, that’s the kind of person I am, I can never bring myself to truly hate things like the rest of the internet. Anyway, I’ll see you then! Hopefully we’ll be living under a Labour Government by then.