#WHATEVER. im going on an angry walk in the dark | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gravegoer · 1 month ago

Note

possible royal au with sevika?? her as a knight, bodyguard.. etc .. 🩷

also you are lowkey THE sevika writer ..

Royal Blood — 🜲

thank you, anon. i appreciate that ! also, i might make this a series (send in an ask if you are interested) summary: sevika might have a little crush, but it's so immoral— i mean, you're a royal !! also i dont use any physical descriptions in ANY of my stories unless specifically mentioned i have 20 asks in my inbox atm and i promise im getting to them (esp pirate ones) masterlist

Your parents hired you a guard despite your constant complaints. You didn't need a man to watch over you in place of them. It wasn't your fault they could never be home for you.

You are the princess, so you needed to be put in line, no more walking out alone at night, no more hanging out with friends at bars, etc. Your parents wanted to put a stop to it all.

When you were introduced to your bodyguard, it was a pleasant suprise that she was a woman. Sevika. She had dark scarred skin, a showcase of her past on her body, and a prosthetic metal arm that caught your eye immediately. But that didnt mean you liked having a bodyguard any more than you did before.

And as always, your parents planned to leave for weeks on "business" having Sevika watch over you in the mostly empty castle.

Although your parents ordered you not to step foot out of the castle, you needed fresh air badly. Opening the windows to let the breeze in was no longer enough to satisfy you. You felt like a rat trapped in a cage that desperately needed to escape.

It was the late hours of night when you decided that Sevika would most definitely be asleep, giving you the opening to sneak out. You didn't bother to change out of your ruffled night gown and sleep tights before stepping out into the hall. Your feet that were covered with thin fabric protested the coldness of the tile as you continued down the west wing.

It was definitely chillier than your warm room. goosebumps littered your arms before you attempted to rub them away. The moonlight cascaded in a film over your body, peeking through the many windows in the hall.

You turned, curiously, to the window, and the stars illuminated your irises. Putting your hands to the glass you peered at the garden, fireflies were swarming the flowers and fluttered around the fountain. You smile at the sight and suddenly become more enthusiastic about your trip.

Your excitement was soon interrupted by a husky (but loud) voice, "And where do you suppose you're going, princess?"

"I told you not to call me that," You frowned and turned away from the window to see Sevika approaching you with crossed arms.

Her heavy boots thudded on the tile, contrasting with your daintly socked feet. She stopped in front of you to look you up and down, "What? Were you in a rush to sneak out and didn't dress for the weather?" She teased.

You shook your head and looked away, "No, i wasn't sneaking anywhere.. I just wanted to get some air."

"Crack a window, princess." She directly ignored your previous order, "I can't let you leave until your parents return."

You scoffed at her strictness, "I just want to take a walk in my own garden. Can't you spare me that much?"

"What your parents say goes, now don't argue with me."

"This isn't your job—" You instantly start to argue, "Your job is to protect me not to control me!"

"You're wrong there," She stepped closer to you. "My job is to protect you and control you. Your parents ordered me to do so, so that's what I intend to do."

At that, you got angry, "Would you please just be lenient? All I ask is for a walk."

She ran a thick finger over the crease between her brows, and you took notice of the dark circles under her eyes.

"You can't just do whatever you want. You have responsibilities, and one of those responsibilities is to abide by the rules."

You scoffed and started back to your room before she added, "And tomorrow morning, I want you in my sight, no more funny business."

Leaving her without any confirmation, you slipped back into your room and slammed the door, throwing yourself back into bed. You grumbled to yourself about how this castle is a prison and buried your face into the pillows.

For the next hour, you were tossing and turning and eventually pacing around your room. Looking at the clock, it read: 12 AM.

Fuck you needed to get out.

Going on your second attempt to sneak out, you creaked the door open, slower than the first time. You were immediately met with a dark form standing outside your door.

Sevika.

She caught sight of you through the small crack, gaze cold, and confused. She raised an eyebrow, and you saw her eyes rake down your body before quickly darting back up.

"Again?"

"Why are you at my door," You huffed, now opening it fully as she had already caught you.

"I'm on duty," She stated bluntly.

"No, you just want to catch me leaving my room."

"That's called being on duty, Princess."

You ran a hand down your face, feeling the pieces of stray hair that stuck to your cheeks and brushing them away.

"Sevika, I can't sleep," you admitted, although reluctantly.

"I'll grab you a blanket or a cup of water?" She suggested while tilting her head.

"No, I have all of that. I just feel so alone here without my parents," You leaned against the doorframe, now being sincere with her.

She was caught off guard by your honesty and cleared her throat, "I'm sorry— I mean about the whole.. situation you're in"

The only reason you messed around outside the castle and refused to follow the rules is to forget about the emptyness of your own home. Sevika was beginning to realize this.

"Can you help me fall asleep," You stated, catching her off guard once again.

"Miss, I dont think thats appropriate"

You laughed at her instantly, pulling out the formalities when she got embarrassed. "Please, this is an order from your princess."

Her eyes widened at the tone in your voice and the way you looked at her when you pleaded for her company. Finally relenting, she swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly stepped into your room past you.

Your room was most definitely large, with a king-sized bed in the middle, covered with pillows and expensive silks. There was a large curtained window facing your bed that let some light through. She didn't even hear you shut the door behind her before you stepped past her, and ran to flop into your bed.

She eyed the way your nightgown lifted a bit when you jumped up but quickly cleared her thoughts. She stood stifly in the middle of your room before you sat up to pat the spot beside you.

It was hard not to stare at the way your skin tone contrasted the sheets while she walked up to you and sat beside you. (Moreso on the edge).

You chuckled at her nervousness of being in your room and scooted up to the top of your bed, feet behind her back.

"C'mon, get comfortable," you tapped her with your foot, "I didn't invite you in to make you guard my bedside"

She scoffed, and you moved your legs, planting your feet flat on your bed to make room for her to scoot back. She did so enough for you to be able to see the side of her face. There was a flicker of something unreadable in her expression when she looked over at you, eyeing the way you were displayed for her.

Ignoring her expression, you sat your legs in her lap and scooted down so that your butt was pressed against the side of her thigh. Your head was nuzzled comfortably in the pillows and you sighed at her warmness.

"Tell me a story."

You could see her expression, but you would like to imagine her face was flushed and embarrassed. But unbeknownst to you she was looking down at you with a smirk, knowing you couldnt see her face.

Of course, it felt wrong to have the princess splayed out on her bed in front of her, soft legs over hers and hands behind her head, but what could Sevika do, she wasnt invincible.

For a few minutes, she was caught up in a story about something that you thought was dumb. Talking about the woman she served before you, and obviously, you didn't care. You were more entranced with the way her toned thighs felt against the back of yours and the way her calloused hand brushed over your knee.

You had contemplated her attractiveness in the past but opted not to act on your desires, as she seemed very adamant about being professional. You couldn't ruin that for her.

Although tonight, she wasn't denying any of your actions.

You interrupted her story by sitting up, "Mmm, I feel tired already.. Or maybe that's the bordem."

You mumbled that last part.

"Okay, what more could I possibly do," Her grip on your knee got more intense.

You scooted forward, now sitting in her lap, "Just shut up and let me sleep."

You leaned into her.

This was a really bad idea. Sevika thought to herself, hands now hovering over you, not knowing what to do. She almost pushed you away but stopped herself upon feeling you snuggle closer into her chest.

She hoped you couldn't hear her heart thumping against her ribcage. To add to her already racing thoughts, she couldn't even fathom how your parents would react to this.

She would be fired immediately.

Yeah.

This needs to end.

You looked up at her, wondering why you didn't feel the pressure of her hands on your body. Her face was contemplative, eyes locked into a random spot in your room.

You spoke, just above a whisper, "I need this, Sevika."

Fuck your parents.

She wrapped her arm that was closest to your knees around your body to the back of your neck, holding you to her. Her thumb brushed against your cheek comfortingly.

She didn't exactly know what it was like to be in your position, but she knew she wouldn't like it. Her metal arm was wrapped around your back, hand softly on your hip. You could almost feel the coldness through your nightgown, but you barely minded. Her face was pressed into the top of your head, inhaling your scent.

From this night on, she was no longer just your protector, but also your caretaker. She told herself she would be there for you at any moment of need.

Sevika no longer needed to suppress her feelings of want towards you, and this was all the comformation she needed that you felt the same way.

its a bit short but im having the most insane writers block right now, i have so many stories i want to complete that i end up doing none of them... whoops.. but asks are still open it might just take longer

#arcane #sevika #sevika x reader #sevika arcane #arcane sevika #sevika arcane x reader #arcane netflix #lesbian #wlw #royal au #bodyguard #princess au #bodyguard au

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starz4ieee · 10 days ago

Text

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒

includes: smut, sexual game play, getting caught

the house is dark, fear and adrenaline rush through me as i wander through the darkness.

my breath hitches as the wind from the open window makes a whistling sounds, i almost give in to my boyfriend’s sick games, but i don’t, i keep searching.

this was one of his favourite games, i had 30 minutes to find him in the darkness, if i do he does whatever i want, but if i dont, well i think we all know.

i take deep breaths, frustrated and angry ‘i feel like i’ve searched the whole house, where is he’ i think to myself-another rule is no taking, the house must be quiet.

chris and nick were out at dinner with nathan and maddison, giving me and matt hours to play our games.

i act like i don’t enjoy them, but when i win i feel like im on top of the world, being in control of my possessive boyfriend is a feeling that is unmatched.

him usually stuck up and tough guy persona crumbling as he begs and whines under me, for only myself to see, that’s what makes the game worth it.

i check my phone, it reads ‘10 minutes remaining’ i rack my brain for ideas of where he could be and only one comes to my attention, i slowly make my way downstairs and into the garage, stumbling around before i make it in, my hands search around guiding by the walls,

the final seconds click and my alarm goes off “FUCK” i yell out, suddenly the lights flicker on and i look towards the other side of the garage “your getting better love” he walked over to me and held my face in his hand “oh don’t pout, you won last time, its only fair if i take over this time”

he pulls out his phone and switches the lights on and he takes my hand and leads us upstairs, “go to my room i’ll be there soon” he smirks at me and i roll my eyes walking down the hall and he slaps my ass as i walk away causing a small laugh from me.

i open his door to his room and i strip down into my underwear and bra and i lay down on his bed, my legs pressing together in anticipation.

suddenly the door opens and matt turns off the lights in his room, that same adrenaline rushing through me again.

“i wanna see you” i whisper “don’t forget who won tonight baby” he chuckles darkly “you’ll see me, feel me and taste me in no time” i feel his hands on my ankles, his large cold hands rubbing up my legs and on my thighs.

my eyes start to adjust to the dark and i see him and watch him and he massages my things, he kisses me through my underwear and a whine gets caught in my throat.

his tongue licks up to my stomach and once he reaches my belly button he lifts off me and pulls off my underwear, he kisses my stomach and presses his hard on against my newly exposed pussy, i whine at the friction and i subconsciously grind lightly on him and his hands hold down my hips

“don’t be greedy” he says looking at me in the eyes, i try to listen to him, letting him enjoy his time being a winner, but deep down i wanna fuck that attitude right out of him.

i listen to his words and his lips continue to kiss my body, his hands swing around me to unclip my bra and his head is in my neck as he sucks and nips at it

i moan softly and my eyes squeeze shut, he tosses my bra across the floor and leaves me bare while he’s still dressed in his black shirt and red and black pj pants that have a very noticeable bulge poking through them.

for the first time he kissed my lips, in a way to comfort me and ease the anxiety that i have without using words.

his legs rest on each side of my hips as he pulls off his shirt and he flips us over so that i’m on top of him

he reaches down to take off his pants, i take the opportunity and my hands caresses over his boxers making him grunt, i shimmy down until im at face level with his underwear, i slide them off and his cock spurts up, my hand grips the base of it and i stroke slowly

my tongue extends out to lick his tip in short kitten licks and he looks down at me with dark eyes “don’t tease me baby” he moans, trying his best to hide his whines, my mouth takes most of him and i bob my head, swirling my tounge around in the process, his hips jut forward and his teeth bite his lip as his head tilts back, he rests on his elbows, holding himself up for a better angle, i feel his cock harden more and his breathing stuttering “ffuckk” he moans has he releases in my mouth.

he sits back up and looks at me, i give him the most innocent face and his hand reaches down and wipes the cum with his thumb off the side of my lip, he proceeds to push his finger into my mouth “suck” he tells me, my eyes stay on his as i suck his finger, after a moment he takes it out of my mouth.

he moves to the end of the bed, his head up against the head board and he pats his lap i sit down and the tip of his cock slides between my folds, his hands grab at my hips and motions me back and forth, sliding on him.

my head tilts up and i moan out when i feel the veiny base of his dick glide over my clit over and over again “shit” i cuss and he chuckles at my whines “such a good girl, grinding on me like this, fuck i could watch you all day” his words hypnotize me, making me feel like i belong to him and his words keep me safe, i stop for a moment and i slip the head of his cock into me and i sink down onto him

“fuck baby” his nails dig into my hips “i didn’t tell you you could do that did i?” he groans “are you telling me to stop” i ask as i start bouncing on him, a string and curses leaves his mouth

his whines turn pathetic and for a moment he becomes the loser of our game, but he doesn’t last a second more

he presses me down so im stomach to stomach with him, his hands grip my ass and he starts thrusting up into me, a scream erupts out of me and i’m a moaning mess as he pounds into me until i start seeing stars, i bury my head in his neck as muffled cries are heard in his ear

he hits a spot in me that i didn’t even knew existed and my teeth bite down on his shoulder and my eyes roll back “ngh” escapes from the back of my throat and i let go of his shoulder “right there, f-uck” i moan loudly, his grasp on my ass losens and his hips start stuttering, groans leave his lips

“fuck i’m gonna cum baby” he tells me and i nod my head, my face on his shoulder, my body weak from the pleasure it’s receiving “me too, fuck keep going” after a few more thrusts i cry out matt’s name as i finish on his dick, him releasing in me shortly after.

“holy fuck” i say, rolling over next to him as im panting and trying to catch my breath, he looks over to me, his chest going up and down, but that mischievous look hasn’t left “matt..” i say to him

“get on your hands and knees baby, this night isn’t over yet” i sit up and follow his instructions, im placed in the middle of the bed, on my hands and knees for matt as he’s behind me, i look forward, not being able to see him makes me anxious on what he’s gonna do and when.

my breath hitches when i feel his dick between my folds again, my head tilts down “talk to me baby” he says to me “shut up” i say to him “shut up? don’t tell me to do something that you can’t” he laughs and i roll my eyes, struggling not to let out another insult

“i can feel your eyes from here” he tells me, i hate how easily he can read me sometimes “are you gonna stand there and talk or are you gonna fuck me?” i ask looking back at him he tilts his head to the side at the sass in my voice “oh you wanna get fucked?”

he asked, taunting me as he slammed his cock into my dripping core, i let out a scream and my back arches, my head against the bed, he slams into me, thrust by thrust

“you wanna talk like a whore?” another thrust “you get fucked like one” he pounds into me and i moan out loud, he hits a spot inside me and my throat is dry from screaming, my mouth is wide open against the sheets and only small whimpers can escape my mouth,

tears fill my eyes as my pussy is being pounded into, the pleasure is so much greater than i’ve ever experienced and i think i might die right here

“matt, fuck” i say in a pleading voice “what, want me to stop?” he’s just trying to get a rise out of me but i feel so weak that it’s working “no” i say softly “what’s that baby?” my words are caught in my throat as his cock continues to push deep inside of me “don’t stop” i say in a pleading voice “don’t stop? whatever you say princess”

one of his hands rests on my hip, the other rubs my ass cheek before giving it a smack, a loud gasp leaves my mouth and i groan at the feeling “you like that don’t you? hmm baby?” i nod my head “tell me how much you love it” he slaps my ass again “fuck-i love it so much!” i scream cry into the bed

“fuck i’m close, harder” tears coat my eyes as i feel a knot in my stomach “yes baby, fuck” my walls squeeze around him and i feel myself building up “you should see the way your squeezing on me right now, your so fucking hot” the headboard is slamming against the wall and i’m thanking god that no one is home

i feel myself come undone and i yell out and matt rides out his orgasm with me, he collapses on me and breaths out heavily

, his hands wrap around my waist and he lays us down, he spoons me for a few minutes and my eyes flutter open and closed at the exhaustion and comfort from matt’s arms

“let me get you some water and a towel to clean you up my love” i nod and he stands up, a cold feeling against my back, i wrap my naked body tight in his sheets and i fight off sleep while i wait for matt.

matt walks out of the room after putting on his pj pants and grabs his phone scrolling through his missed notifications while he walks to the kitchen he hears a cough and his eyes widen and he looks up

“hey guys..” matt looks at his two brothers and two of there close friends “i thought you were getting home at 11” he says “we did, its 11:15” nick says matt nods his head “cool cool i’m just gonna” he points to the cuboard and grabs two water bottles “just keep it quiet for the rest of the night?” chris asks and matt chuckles “don’t worry i’m pretty sure she’s passed out” chris and nick groan and matt laughs as he walks back to his room.

i hear as the door opens and i groan against the pillow, it seems like a cloud right now “i got you water love” he says to me and i look over at him and groan again

“sit up for a minute baby” i sigh and do what he asks, he pulls the sheets from off my body and hands me the water bottle, i take a small sip and matt grabs a lightly damp towel and holds one of my legs over his shoulders as he cleans up our mess.

he gets back in bed with me and i take a few more sips of my water and he does the same with his and we put them beside the bed, he spoons me again and kisses my temple “goodnight love” he whispers “goodnight” i mumble.

#matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #smut #matt x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you

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deadsetromance · 3 months ago

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literally anything with gerard way please im begging

FORGET ME

not my gif!

gerard way x gn!reader

summary: you can’t tell if you’re unwelcome in the band, or if you’re reading too much into things. maybe it would be best if you just left…

warnings: angst! , language, non edited writing. a happy ending if you read between the lines.

note: thank you for the request!!! i hope you enjoy ! i’ve seen several ideas like this and i finally thought i’d try my hand with a band scenario :)

you wished things were simpler.

you wished gerard wouldn’t toy with your feelings the way he did. you wished there was more to it all then holding hands in the darker corners of the backstage lots. you wished you could show more than shy glances and quiet whispers when you were wrapped together in hotel beds. you wished you actually knew what you had with him.

you wished he wasn’t the lead singer and that you weren’t just the drummer.

for once, you wanted to be selfish…to put your foot down and scream, and say that it wasn’t fair. you wanted to be able to have it your own way, to finally be able to breathe.

but you were never really good at sticking up for yourself.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you never particularly liked the way you looked in magazines. maybe it was the poses, or the fake blood, or…. it didn’t matter though, you promised your mother you’d send her one. you did it with every magazine you’d find in convince stores, you’d write her a note and have the guys sign it for you before you posted it off to her.

the issue you were flipping through boasted an “exclusive” interview with the members of my chemical romance on page thirteen, and you smiled thinly. at least the pictures they used were nice.

the man at the register cleared his throat, and you looked up. “you gonna pay for that?” you looked around, to find the store empty. he gestured at you again, and you quickly walked up to the counter, pulling out your wallet. your shoes squeaked against the linoleum.

you stood awkwardly as he rang you up. was he looking at you funny, or were you just imagining it? you didn’t speak much as you paid, handing over a five dollar bill. you would have bought a pack of cigarettes too, but frank had borrowed money from you, and all you had was whatever change you got from the five.

you banged your elbow on the way out of the market. it was colder outside compared to the store, perhaps because of the morning rain. hopefully they had the heater on in the bus.

if only the bus had been in the parking lot.

like the inside of the store, the parking lot was empty. they had left you behind. again.

you used the payphone behind the gas station to call gerard. when he didn’t answer, you called frank, then mikey, then ray. no one answered. you should have expected it, really.

you had no money for a taxi. it seemed as if you had no choice but to walk to the hotel, though you didn’t know where that was. you walked away from the store, guessing which direction the bus went. it was a shot in the dark, and all you could do was hope that it wouldn’t start raining as you walked.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

the cuffs of your jeans were soaked by the time you made it to the hotel. it was late, and the hotel staff looked mildly worried at your arrival.

they told you that the others had arrived earlier, and already settled into the room. they had headed out to a restaurant without a care as to where you were.

you had your pick of bed, though your choice was limited to one or the other.it was a sort of roulette to see who you would be sharing with. you’d go to bed angry tonight, bitter, and fall asleep long before they came back from dinner.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you had a headache. the lights in the interview room seemed too bright, and the arm of the sofa wasn’t very comfortable. gerard woke you up earlier than you would have liked. it was fine though… you just had to finish the interview first and then you could sleep on the bus. you tried not to think about the morning, when you had woken up curled into gerard. maybe you should have slept on the couch, saved yourself the trouble of whatever inner turmoil you had going on.

you didn’t speak much, with most of the questions being directed to gerard and frank. not that you minded, because the interview would go by faster that way.

the journalist was a guy you knew from kerrang! you couldn’t remember where you met him though…maybe at a gig or…

“i hate to make you pick favorites, but for this next question you’re gonna have to.” now you remembered. he did a one-on-one a few months ago, backstage before a festival. “let’s start with gerard.”

you didn’t really want to answer the question, so you listened instead. you’d make something up when it was your turn, and hopefully you were last to answer.

“well, thats hard… i mean i love all the guys, and mikey’s my brother, and frank and ray are so talented…i dunno” gerard laughed, sliding down the couch.

frank looked like he was about vibrate out of his seat as he beamed at the camera. “well, ray is just an amazing artist and he get’s so fuckin’ into what he does.”“i mean i, guess he’s my favorite, because i’ve just learned so much from him, really.”

ray was next. “well i mean i get along with them all, but i think i’d have to say gerard, just because i’ve known him for the longest.”

you wanted to yell at the interviewer for asking the question. you felt like you were going to puke as you waited for mikey to think about it. “uh…i don’t… i mean maybe my brother gerard?”

you pretended not to care that you hadn’t been mentioned once. was it because you were a drummer? because you hadn’t been with them since the start? because you were replaceable?

“y/n? what about you?” you’d pretend their answers didn’t hurt, and so you smiled just as bright as before. you just had to get through this interview and then you could take a nap on the bus.

“i don’t really think that’s a fair question,” you just had to answer a few more questions and then you could get back on the bus. “y’know i don’t really think i have a favorite. well, i mean…can’t i say that they’re all my favorites? guess i love them all the same.” hopefully they wouldn’t ask you to elaborate, because you didn’t know if you could.

you felt like it was too quiet when you finished talking. maybe it was shame…maybe you should have kept your mouth shut and picked someone.

the interview felt like it dragged on after. you tried to stay on your best behavior, but as every minute passed by you felt the life drain out of you.

the interviewer didn’t notice the way your smile dropped every time you were ignored, or spoken over. he didn’t notice, but the fans watching the interview would.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you felt drained. interviews always made you stressed, and added onto the poor nights sleep you had last night, you felt awful.

the interview went terribly, so you smoked by the dumpster behind the building. hopefully you could forget about everything.

frank had been talking to one of the producers, but they should have wrapped everything up by now. you put out your cigarette and headed back to the bus.

you would have been worried about keeping everyone waiting, but it was clear that you hadn’t. they had left without you. again.

never in your life had you felt so small. you wanted to scream, or, cry, or do something. you didn’t. it was instinctual, the phone number you dialed was second nature.

your voice was calm as you told gerard to turn the bus around. you didn’t care to hear his explanation, if he gave one at all. you waited for them to come back and pick you up.

you didn’t understand how they forgot about you again, and again, and again. fuck, this time you had been sitting right next to them for nearly an hour. yet you were gone for less then five minutes, and they had forgotten about you.

you didn’t understand how gerard could be so sweet to you, only to act like you didn’t exist. he was gentle when he woke you up, when you found yourself wrapped in his arms. so why did he forget about you so often? why did he ignore you, and speak over you? he made everything so much harder.

the bus pulled into the parking lot before you could think about anything too deeply.

you ignored them and their pleas and apologies. you didn’t care, and you were far too tired to put up with their bullshit.

frank followed you to your bunk, but you pushed him away, pretending to read the magazine on your bed. it took time, but in the end he got the hint and left you alone.

irony was bitter on your tongue when you looked at the page you had opened to. it was the magazine you bought from the convenience store the day before, opened to your interview.

you could hear a whispered conversation coming from the front of the bus, and you grit your teeth. still, your eyes scanned over the print, intrigued, because you couldn’t remember that particular interview for the life of you.

“…oh yeah, touring with my chem is just an amazing experience! i mean i’ve only been with them for a year maybe? it’s just great. i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

sure touring has its ups and downs, but i love it. okay…so i’ve been left behind a rest stops a few times, and it does get hard, but i have so much respect for the guys.

you can tell they love what they do, and i love being a part of not only the creative process, but just…being able to do what i do?! its awesome!! the fans are amazing, and i wouldn’t be where i am without them, seriously!

really i wouldn’t want to be doing this with any other band.”

you wished you hadn’t read it. you looked so happy in the picture they printed, smiling and crammed into the group photo. what happened?

a part of you wished you never joined the band. it was nothing but heartache, just like what you felt now. you were angry, and so tired, and above all confused.

your picture beamed up at you from the page, and you felt nothing but white-hot anger. with a scream, you hurled the magazine out from your bunk, not caring where it landed.

it wasn’t until your breathing became uneven that you realized you were crying. the conversation in the front of the bus stilled, and you heard worried footsteps.

while you couldn’t stop your crying, you still rolled over, and did your best to pretend you didn’t notice them. someone was standing outside your bunk…you could feel it. but you ignored them, and cried yourself to sleep.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you wanted to pretend yesterday had been a bad dream. the magazine sitting on the table, opened to page thirteen, let you know that it wasn’t.

the second you crawled out of your bunk and to the dining area everyone’s head snapped up. you hated it.

you didn’t know what to say or where to look. so you looked at the cup of coffee on the table. you knew it was meant for you, the mug was your favorite, and whoever had prepared it made it just the way you liked your coffee. you wanted to cry.

the “i quit,” spilled out of your lips before you could stop yourself. you were met with protests, and apologies, and pleads, but you didn’t listen. “i hope you can find a drummer, because i’m done here.”

deep down some twisted part of you enjoyed their reactions.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you had started to pack your shit and call in a few favors. your apartment seemed so empty when you thought of it, so you’d couch surf for a while.

no one had talked to you since you ‘quit’. not that you minded entirely…it made things easier. thursday’s show would be your last with the band you decided. you refused to let them treat you the way they did, refused to listen to any of their reasoning. maybe you were jumping the gun...but you didn’t care. right?

the air was crisp, and you could near see your breath when you stepped out to stretch your legs. it felt too early to be at a rest stop, the sun barely peeking above the horizon. you leaned against the bus as you smoked, a habit you’d come upon after being left behind more often than not.

it wouldn’t really matter if they had left without you this time, you were already on your way out.

it was strange, the way that you could pick gerards footsteps from the rest of the guys. you could tell it was him coming down the steps before you even caught sight of him.

“hey.” he sounded shy…and it all felt so unnatural. you almost felt bad. “i just wanted to say that we- i’m sorry.”

“okay.” couldn’t he see that the apology had come too late? you wouldn’t lie…wouldn’t say it was okay and then act like you were one big happy family again.

“you have every right to leave. we’ve treated you like shit.” it was all starting to sink in. it all seemed so final…so foreign. you were leaving and that was it. this whole time you hadn’t even stopped to think…jumping at chances before you even weighed your options.

“why?”

“i don’t know. and i know i can’t speak for the others. it’s just weird…being on tour. it takes its toll y’know? and i just get in my head. some days i feel like i’m still asleep. but that doesn’t make it okay.”

“i know.” listening to him bear his soul like that was hard, but he still left you feeling like you were buried in questions. “leaving me behind and all that wouldn’t have hurt so much. but i never knew where we stood. what we were…” he took a sharp breath, and you flicked the ash of your cigarette away. “keeping it a secret–hiding in dark corners and trying not to get caught–that’s what hurt the most.”

“i really do care about you. i know i didn’t do the best job at showing it and… fuck i was keeping you at arms length.” his shoulder brushed against yours and for a moment the both of you fell into tired silence. “you can hate me, but i’m putting it all out on the table. i really really like you. and i want to fix this. i don’t want to lose you.” maybe you were stupid for loving him, even though he left you behind at rest stops and hurt your feelings so often. but your chest squeezed, and for once you stopped to think for a moment.

is this really what you wanted? cutting it all short so abruptly like this? a part of you mourned what you knew would never come to be. but somewhere inside you…this little coil of something you couldn’t understand slithered around. you were moving so fast, and you didn’t want to let go.

you knew what you were going to do.

“we can start over. make it real…if you want.” you couldn’t seem to help but squeeze back when his hand found yours. “we’ll keep in touch okay? i’ll sit the rest of this tour out…take a breather. and then we’ll see how it goes from there.”

you talked well until the sun came up…about the new drummer replacing you—tucker—,about plans for the future, about stupid mistakes, and whatever else you could think about. they would go on with the tour and do good and play music. you knew that.

he wished you luck, and you kissed him. it felt like a goodbye and new beginnings all in one.

you wouldn’t take back your resignation…you wouldn’t forgive, at least not for now. but you would look at things a little differently now.

you’d climb back into the bus, the guilt that had been bubbling in your stomach dying down a little. you would play your last show, and then climb into a taxi and head back the way you came. this time…with four less people.

#gerard way x reader #gerard way #reader insert #x reader #my chemical romance #my chem #mcr #mcr fanfiction #fanfic #angst #deadsetromance

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eroticdarling · 30 days ago

Text

𐙚 ˚ ⋆｡˚ ᡣ𐭩 BIRTHDAY BITCH 𐙚 ˚ ⋆｡˚ ᡣ𐭩

[ PAIRING ] Shuji Hanma x PocFem!Reader

[ SYNOPSIS ] After going out to the club for your birthday last night, you have a serious hangover. You were soon met with Shuji who gave you the rundown of what previously occurred including some parts you wish you were sober to experience. To help you, he decides to give you a visual of how your night till morning ended.

[ CONTENT WARNINGS ] Hangover 𖹭 Language 𖹭 Pet Names 𖹭 Birthday Sex 𖹭 Daddy Kink 𖹭 Chocking 𖹭 Teasing 𖹭 Ass Slapping 𖹭 Cock Drunk 𖹭 Post-Sex Cockwarming 𖹭 Aftercare 𖹭

[ WORD COUNT ] 3.9K

[ A/N ] Today is my birthday sooo in celebration I'm writing this and including the man im obsessed wit 😩🤌🏾 Happy birthday to me and everyone else whose birthday is on the 10th!! 🫶🏾🎂

┃3:01 PM » Evening

When you woke up your head was booming in pain. Your body felt very weak and you were dehydrated. It was to the point you didn't feel like getting out of bed.

Hangovers are the fucking worst. You complained in your head as you forced yourself out of bed to use the bathroom even though you could barely walk.

After using the bathroom you head downstairs in a sluggish motion, leaving yourself in nothing except a bra and panties. Once you make it down the last step you shortly turn your head to see Hanma in the kitchen eating cereal. Now suspicious, you question who invited this man into your home to eat your food.

Walking closer to the kitchen you noticed dark red marks from his chest up to his jawline. You also see small scratches on his arms since he had on a V-neck short-sleeved shirt. At this moment a plethora of questions started running through your head.

"I see you're up now darling." He acknowledged your presence and smirked causing you to mug him.

You silently sat down at the bar counter, giving up on the fact that Hanma was in the comfort of your home. At this point whatever happened, it happened, and you soon stopped caring. Noticing your miserable expression he decided to continue talking.

"You look like shit but that's what you get for getting wasted last night." He commented on your messy hair, fucked up makeup, and a few of your nails that had popped off.

"Nd we gon do it again." You say in an excited groggy tone attempting to stick out your tongue.

Even though you had a bad hangover, that wasn't going to stop you from being yourself, "And that's the same attitude that caused you to be like this." He looked you up and down before proceeding to eat his frosted flakes.

"I mean, would you like to fill me in on what happened at least?" You asked curious about the events that occurred.

"Let's see... As soon as you entered the club you started dancing and drinking. You and the girls had a dance battle with random girls. After you won you drank some more to celebrate. You, Smiley, and Angry jumped a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer when he wanted to hook up. More drinking. The same guy you beat up girlfriend came to confront you and you fought her. I decided to talk to you which was the best time of my life. I let you drive the boat or whatever you girls were saying after everyone sang Happy Birthday to you. You got all touchy with me at the end so I drove you home and while I was driving you gave me head. Not to mention how dominant and cocky you were acting until we got here and I had to put you in your place." He briefly explained what happened last night.

Hearing this your mouth widened with shock, wishing you were sober enough to experience that last part. But for the most part, it wasn't surprising you showed your ass last night. In everyone's words, you are the life of any party.

"Is that why you have those marks all over you?" You wondered receiving a chuckle from the very tall man, "Sweetheart this isn't even half of it."

You were about to say something until he turned around to lift his shirt, revealing a back full of thin, red lines. They were scratch marks made by your nails. And they still seemed fresh, indicating this must've happened in the morning.

"Oh my fucking—I wish I was sober." You whined, prolonging the end of your sentence.

If you could do something like that then it meant the sex was super good.

Once you're done talking you suddenly feel the same dehydration from when you woke up creep back up on you. Getting up from the chair, you go inside the kitchen to get some water to quench this thirst.

Hanma put his shirt down, watching you walk past him with a brow at your secret confession, "Which part?" He asked as you opened the refrigerator, "Which part do you think I'm talking about?" You deliberately bent over at an undeniably attractive angle to grab the cold water bottle from the bottom of the fridge.

You suddenly felt a presence behind you pressing against your ass while hands grabbed your sides. "I dunno but if you're thinking what I'm thinking then I'll gladly give you a visual of that last part." His voice got seemingly deeper, lacing pure lust into his words.

You instantly start cheesing by hearing this, feeling your face heat up by how hard he is. You shortly stop to keep your composure stable before standing up straight to close the refrigerator, making Hanma move back.

"At least gimme a minute 'cause y'know I'm still going through my hangover." You open the water bottle to guzzle down almost all of it, now facing his way.

"I'll make it real quick and besides I know you wouldn't wanna leave me hanging." He tried to convince you but you weren't going for it, "That's the problem, I don't wanna make it quick, lil Daddy." You stared up at him giving away your signature 'fuck me' eyes.

Your statement made him suggestively cock his head to the side with his long golden drop earring following his moment, "Lil? This morning I could've sworn you were begging me to stop 'cause it was too much?"

You choked on your water a little, thinking your ears were deceiving you. Attempting to give out a good comeback you were cut off by Hanma, "I guess I'll have to put you in your place again." He grabbed your water bottle to put it away before picking you up by your legs and throwing you over his shoulder.

"I—Shu—Hanma!" You stuttered at his name, unable to process what was going on.

"It's okay to call me Shuji darling but I do prefer daddy." You could practically sense the grin on his face as he went upstairs to your bedroom.

┃3:42 PM » Evening

Inside your room, he tossed you on the bed allowing it to catch your fall, "Damn do you gotta be so rough?" You sat up to ask, observing how aggressive he was with you.

"Blame it on that smart mouth of yours." He leaned over to lift your chin with his fingers, "Now sit back and spread yourself so I can see your pretty pussy again."

When he released his fingers from your chin, you did what he said. Laying back you spread your legs wide, giving him a crystal clear view of the wet spot in the middle of your panties. His violet eyes narrowed as he studied your curvy figure intending to cure his craving for you.

"You're this wet already? I'm wondering what you were thinking about to get you like this." Shuji's voice was getting alluring as your brown eyes lowered to see his hardened dick through his grey sweatpants.

"Eyes up here darling." He broke you out of your trance, witnessing him taking off his shirt and putting his lean muscular physique on display.

"Damn..." You say under your breath, thinking about riding his abs until your juices are on them.

"Mmm? What was that?" He questioned in a teasing manner, already hearing what you said yet wanted you to repeat it, "I'm just sayin' you look good." You look to the side.

"What a real ego booster." He joked causing you to roll your eyes, "Don't get your hopes too high."

"I already did when you let me fuck for the first time." He chuckled, pulling his pants off to get in between your thighs.

He then slipped off your panties while his face was inches away from yours as you waited for him to make the first move. The touch of cold air hitting your wetness made you feel the small electric shocks going through your body.

"Please eat me out, Daddy." You finally pleaded, seeing a smirk plastered on his face as if he was waiting for the words.

"You look so fuckin' pretty when you beg." He gave you a quick kiss before diving face-first into your cunt.

His tongue was subtly playing with your sensitive bundle of nerves as you gripped his blonde-streaked hair that was relaxed and tousled. His pleasant attacks on your clit send waves down your spine while moans escaped your lips.

Somehow Shuji instantly understood your body to the T although y'all only fucked once. It seemed too good to be true by the way he had you under his thumb in a matter of seconds. His touch, his body language, and the way he always allowed his eyes to do the talking—it was all too good.

He then moved lower to the hole that was practically begging for attention. Not needing to coat his fingers with saliva since you were already dripping, he slowly sank the two middle and ring fingers inside of you.

This action caused you to moan a bit louder at the feeling of being filled. He made you feel like a virgin again by how he worked with your body. You assumed these were the same sensations you were met with when you were intoxicated.

Pumping his fingers in you at a semi-fast pace, he observed how successfully he satisfied you just by plunging his fingers deep into your cunt. His purple eyes only focused on your lustful expressions as if you had a hunger for more of him.

"You're still the same needy girl like earlier." He commented, watching how your hips willingly grind on his fingers for more friction.

"Lemme help you out, Dollface." His thumb circles your bud adding on to his pumps.

Your thighs were wider to the point that they attempted to touch the bed. The extra friction you were receiving had created a knot in your lower abdomen that desperately wanted to come undone.

"I needa cum, Daddy!" You warned seeing Shuji bite his lower lip into a smirk.

"Go ahead and cum on my fingers." His voice goes into a whisper, permitting you to release on him.

Dipping his head back down, his mouth switches with his thumb, sucking on your clit to guide you to your release. You gripped his hair tighter, unaware of it as your eyes rolled back. You could feel the tears prick the corners of your eyes, getting closer to your orgasm.

You were at the peak of your limit, feeling your body contract as the knot from before become undone, cumming hard on the man's fingers. From the way his attention never shifted away from you, you could easily tell he was enjoying this more than he should've.

Shuji took his fingers out, putting them directly into his mouth, "You taste even sweeter than before." He complimented licking his fingers clean.

"Ass up face down, Darling. I don't want you to add more bruises you already have." He ordered making you shakily sit up to do his request.

To him, this was the perfect view, loving how the position gave him the luxury to observe your pussy swallowing him up. You then hear the faint sound of him taking off his boxers, feeling his bony hands abruptly pull you closer to him.

You couldn't help but look back to stare at his uncovered length. It seemed to be a good seven to eight inches long while the head was a blushing pink, dripping with precum. His pubic hair was neatly trimmed and his balls looked heavy. You knew dicks wasn't supposed to look pretty but he was an exception at the thought.

The view was something you couldn't take your eyes off, "Since you wanted to be a brat, you don't have a say so on anything I do. Got it?" He says, forcing you out of another daze you were in.

"Mhm," You replied, biting down on your lower lip.

His hands make their way beside you as he's now towering over you with his dick inches away from your pussy. "I don't think you understand." He gave your ass a quick slap receiving a yelp in response, "Use your words, Doll."

"Yes, Daddy I understand." You whimpered as your body felt hotter from the anticipation.

"That's a good girl." Shuji grabbed the base of his cock to align it with your aching cunt before sliding it in.

You both gasped at how good each other felt as he started moving, feeling how warm your gummy walls felt. Instead of allowing you to adjust to his size, he started moving at a fast pace. His 'punishment' hand wrapped around your neck, pulling you upwards to where your back presses against his chest as he sloppily kisses you. Swallowing all your muffled moans every time he brushed your G-spot, his hips made your body rock while your breasts bounced.

Hanma soon broke the kiss to make his way to your neck, sucking on it with his 'sin' hand holding onto my waist. His mouth unattached itself from your skin, leaving noticeable, purplish red marks behind in the process. He then trailed these marks down over your shoulders as if doing this was payback for what you did.

"S-Shuji! Fuck!—Ahh—Feel s' good." Your ass jiggled every time it hit his pelvis, calling out his name from this euphoria he was giving you.

You then feel Shuji push your back into the bed in your original position. By doing this your face was buried in the pillows giving him the pleasure to go faster. From this sensation, you unwillingly grip the thick blanket, almost losing your train of thought in the midst of it.

"Wanna know how I put you in your place the last time?" He abruptly asked as tears ran from the corners of your eyes to the pillowcase, "Y-Yes, Daddy!" You moaned in agreement.

Shuji put his hand back around your nape to give it a tight squeeze, pushing your head further into the soft white headrest. You suddenly feel a hard slap come across your ass, receiving another wince. The pain and pleasure mixed with your cries as he kept the cycle going.

"Since you're sober maybe this will make you remember to stop smart mouthing me." He said using his free hand to keep you in a perfect arch deepening his movements.

Your eyes rolled back once more with my mouth hung open. You started to writhe under him because of how overstimulated you were. This was too much ecstasy, you could handle putting you in an incoherent state.

You looked like a hot mess under him, your tears alongside your drool stained the pillow and your body sweat had you glistening. He showed you how much he enjoyed making a mess out of you for the second time. To him, putting you in your place was like a reward.

"S-Shuji! S-Slow down, please! It's too much!" You cried out about how excessive his sex drive was.

"Nuh uh, remember what I said? This is your punishment." He retorts, not slowing down the pace.

The sounds of his balls slapping against your cunt mixed with your loud sweet moans fill the air. You could feel deep strokes getting deeper by the second. However, now you really couldn't take it anymore.

You subconsciously place your hand on his abs in an attempt to stop him, "Slow down Daddy!" You managed to moan out in between these blissful senses.

"Don't do that now." He says, slapping you on the ass with his punishment hand, "Your pussy is sucking me up so well. I know you can handle it." He adds.

You could practically feel the way his cock tried to reach your belly as he had you in this position. You soon felt that knot tie up again from earlier, "Daddy I need to cum again!" You announced.

"Cum as many times as you need to cause we ain't stopping until I do." He tells you.

The hand that was slapping your ass slithered under me, circling your clit. Not even a full minute had passed before you were clenching down on Shuji's cock, leaving a second cloudy ring around the base. Seeing how you creamed around him while spreading your cheeks to get a better view sent him spiraling.

You drove him to the point he wanted to see you cream on him over and over until both of your cum was seeping out of your abused hole. "S-Shit! You know how to make a guy cum fast!" He groaned, trying to keep his head straight.

You were also an organic creamer, too, so he was wrapped around your fingers. This mix of sensual emotions was starting to be too much for him yet unlike you he knew how to hold his own.

All of a sudden, he decreases his tempo to give you slow and deep strokes that drive you insane, "What's my name, baby?" He asked, gripping and squeezing your ass.

"D-daddy!" You replied, receiving a hand smack down your ass.

"I can't hear you. Say it again for me."

"Daddy!" You say louder.

"Mhm, and are you gonna stop getting smart with me?" He asked, waiting for your answer.

"Yes! I'm gonna stop." You satisfy him to the point he's holding back the urge to cum inside you.

You prepare for your orgasm for the third or fourth time tonight as you feel yourself tightening up again. Already feeling your climax coming, you cream over his dick again, sending him over the edge. You could hear his quiet whimpers as his head rested on your neck to find his orgasm next.

The pace he was going was rougher than usual yet you still loved it, "D-damn Doll you're p-pushing me over the edge." He whispers in your ear.

Hearing the sounds he made, gave you the decision to move against his dick, allowing you both to move in sync. This made his cock sensitive by the second, feeling him twitch inside you.

"I'm g-gonna cum!" He stumbled over his words getting closer and closer to his climax.

"Cum in me daddy! Please fill me up!" You incoherently begged, feeling his dick twitch again.

Observing how cock drunk you were, pushed him further in addition to feeling your walls squeeze him. A few more deep strokes and you quickly came around him. He then pulled you closer to him before shooting a load of thick sticky ropes inside you. He held this position for a few minutes as your chest heaved under him.

You could feel his dick soften before he fully pulled out causing the mixture to seep out of you, "You're such a mess, but I like it." He commented as you lowered your ass to collapse on the bed.

"Now I see why I was weak in the knees earlier." You mumbled, earning a chuckle from the man behind you.

┃10:40 PM » Night

After you both freshened up, he decided to continue to stick around just to give you aftercare. It was still your birthday and for the rest of the day, you just wanted to chill and have fun with Hanma. When you told him about this he had a few ideas in mind that you both are starting to do now.

"I got the PlayStation and stuff so what game do you wanna play?" Shuji came back into your room with the gaming console you left in the living room the other day.

"You tryna catch his work in Modern Warfare?" You asked receiving a grin in response, "You think you can beat me?" He questioned as he searched for the disc before inserting it inside the PS4.

"Think? I know I can." Your arrogance makes him smile, knowing he could beat you but what he doesn't know is that you've had a lot of practice.

You move to the bottom of the bed to join Hanma who's also sitting there waiting for the game to load up. It only takes a few seconds, allowing him to go inside the game to put it on 1v1 split screen mode. He then passes you the second controller to go against him.

"Let the best player win." You heard Shuji say nodding your head in agreement, "Right."

Y'all were playing the game for a good hour straight. You were winning since Hanma went easy on you but that soon ended cause whenever you won you'd trash-talk him. To humble you, he stopped going easy which reversed the roles and he started saying slick things in return.

After you quit playing for being a 'sore loser' in Shuji's words, you both played other games that required teamwork. Sometimes Shuji wouldn't go through with the tasks and do his own thing ignoring what you'd say causing you to leave him behind. Doing this, he'd beg for you to come back and say he was just kidding.

Once the PlayStation was getting boring, you both decided to order take-out along with snacks. Shuji went downstairs to get the food including snacks and you both searched for a movie on the console.

"Ooh let's watch that!" You pointed at a comedy movie that seemed interesting.

"Nah, I've already watched it. It was so boring I almost cried." Shuji retorts continuing to move the controller buttons.

"Hold on, you just passed Coraline! We could've watched that." You furrowed your eyebrows at his lack of taste in movies.

"I ain't watching no damn Coraline. Your taste in movies is ass." He insulted you in search of something else.

"Tuh, I know you ain't talking about my taste when you act like you don't have taste buds." You instantly clapped back in annoyance.

"Watch your attitude unless you want me to fuck it outta you again." He warned.

You stayed quiet to be on the safe side until he started teasing you for it, "Oh so that's how I need to talk to get you under control?" He grinned.

"Shut up and choose a move already." You uttered under your breath which doesn't go unheard by the guy beside you, "What was that, Darling?"

"Nothin'." You simply answer.

"That's what I thought." He said in a slick tone.

Shuji finally found a movie after what felt like years later. It was an action movie about a security guard trying to convince a veterinarian cop that he was worthy of his sister. Two of your favorite celebrities played as the main characters and nevertheless, it was hilarious. This made you take back what you said about Hanma's taste in movies mentally.

As you both enjoyed the movie you were sitting up eating Chinese food while Shuji leaned back on the headboard to enjoy his food. The night went on and you'd say you went through another good movie until you suddenly felt the cover move. Looking back, you see Shuji making himself comfortable by getting under the soft blanket to go to sleep.

Moving over to give him more space you continued to finish the movie while laying flat on the bed. You couldn't help but reminisce on these last ten days together with your friends. And you'd be lying if you didn't enjoy having birthday sex from the guy you're already crushing on. To you, these days were the best ones, which made you consider doing something like this again next year but a little differently.

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christinarowie332 · 1 year ago

Text

stupid fucking kid

part 2 of “stupid horny fucks”

chris sturniolo x reader .

angst .

warnings : language , talk of sex . angst . depictions of depressive episodes. regret .

not proof read cuz i don’t have time for that. 😀

———

it’s been a week . seven days of avoiding conversations with him , seven days of “oh sorry i’m busy” messages to nick when he asks to come over . i cant even think straight .

one week ago .

“he flops down next to me , his chest heaving and loose curls wet slightly around his neck with sweat .

“what the fuck just happened” i say looking over to him

he just stares at the ceiling .

what the fuck just happened .

“i’m gonna go-“ i try to continue but the sight of chris’s eyes closed and soft hums of sleep stop me .

my mind races with scenarios and past conversations. he doesn’t want a relationship. i don’t even know if i do . i just fucked my best-friend. how the fuck did that even happen . the same kid that i see allmost everyday , i’ve known him for years , what the fuck have i just done .

“chris i’m gonna go .” i whisper to his sleeping body , while getting out of bed and grabbing the sweatpants and tank top from the floor , and leaving the room . as i walk downstairs my vision gets blurry as regret and guilt sets in . i can hear nick and matt ask questions but before i know it i’m in my car and speeding home .

what the fuck just happened.

now.

the ceiling seems to move as i stare into the white space, shadows curve and shift with stars before i blink them away and look towards the notification lighting up my dark room . i notice the time . 2.36 , jesus . not bothering to read the notification i silence my phone and turn over in my sheets . the cold kisses my face as my cheeks slide over my pillow , fingers numb at the temperature as i place them both under the cover and curl the duvet up to my neck . closing my eyes allows the thoughts to run wild , my estranged relationship with the triplets , the fact i haven’t left my house in days , my plants are wilted as i’ve neglected them. chris .

i open my eyes and see the mascara stained bedding from last night . grey droplets seeping into the fabric left marks . a physical reminder for everyone to see . well. that’s if anyone bothered to check on me . it’s not their fault , the moment matt called me to check if i was ok i changed the subject, called him stupid and laughed , deciding to let him talk instead of me . it worked the first two days , then the missed meetings rang alarm bells for nick , he showed up at my house , ringing the doorbell to which i ignored . i shouldn’t have done that . the thoughts that were once plaguing my head were cut off as i hear a car pull into my driveway . the sound of my dogs nails tapping into the wooden floor confirms it , she knows the sound of matt’s car .

as i reach the door i take a breath before opening it , gripping the handle for stability , nuckles whitening at the force . i’m met with shy blue eyes and stubble , his hair flowing around his hat and vivien westwood necklace swaying on his chest .

“hi”

his voice is hourse , it allmost sounds deeper, my lips twitch at his nervous tone but it never quite meets a smile as i know why he’s here . “hi chris.” my eyes focus on the car and i notice matt behind the wheel looking angry , probably at being dragged out the house , but his eyes soften when he meets my gaze . i shift out the way for chris to enter the house , it’s only now i realise the state im in and cover my body with my arms .

i close the door behind him and turn to look at him sheepishly. he looks nervous, his hands are in his pockets and he won’t meet my eye contact . i’m not sure if it’s embarrassment or anxiety but whatever it is , it’s not chris .

“look y/n i’m-“

“does matt know?” i cut him off unintentionally, something changes in his features. this is something he can answer . an easy thing to talk about . “no , i figured it’s up to you to tell him.” he answers confidently, like he’s doing me some fucking favour . quickly the pain turns into anger , and i feel adrenaline fill my chest , as much as i wish it was a different feeling i’m happy to feel something.

“what the fuck does that mean? u give me the job to tell him ? what are u too embarrassed to tell him?” i snap at him . i subconsciously curse myself , knowing this is not what i wanted to say . but this is easier then watching him walk away all together. this he’s good at , this he knows how to do . argue .

“what ? no of course not? y/n i just-“

“you just what ? too embarrassed to say we fucked and u ghosted me ?”

“ghosted you ? i didn’t fucking ghost you , you just left ? u literally fucked then dipped ? what am i supposed to do tell him hm?” he raises his voice , his calm demeanour slowly melting away . he takes a step towards me and i take a step back , my back hitting the radiator attached to wall and i wince at the pain . he notices and takes a step back again , taking a shakey breath in and bites the inside of his lip . “look y/n , im sorry okay ? i don’t know what i did or how to fix it but i’m sorry . i thought u wanted it as much as me but i’m sorry if you-“

“no chris i did, i thought i did , but i just don’t think it should have happened, i feel wierd . i cant believe i fucked you literally minutes after u meant to send a dick pic to another girl” i calm myself down now , matching his energy, my neighbors did not want to hear two teenagers shout about dickpics at 2 in the morning . “ i feel disgusting , u took my fucking virginity and-“

“what” he cuts me off confused , looking away in thought i watch as his shoulders relax and eyes glaze over for a second . “i’m so sorry i didn’t even know , i didn’t think , that picture was stupid , it was a mistake in itself i don’t even know that girl . she just looked like you so-“

what .

———

yikes y/n seriously needs some therapy

tag list:

@mangosrar @soursturniolo @biimpanicking @kvtie444 @kenzieiskoolaid @cabincorematt @urmyslxt @chrisenthusiast @mattsd0ll @iheart2021chris @recklesssturniolo @lovingsturniolo @loveesiren @paper-crab @lustfulslxt @daddyslilchickenfingers @strniohoeee @ermdontmindthisaccount @sturnphilia @bluesturniolo333 @lea0518 @chrisolivia4l @its-jennarose @freshlovehacker @kitaysworld @littlebookworm803 @liz-stxrn @rac00ns-are-c00l4

————

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vodika-vibes · 2 months ago

Note

*slams red button like im on the voice* ill take all of those care prompts pls lol. But seriously, any of those with reader whos friends with the guard and got kidnapped on Coriscant by like, flesh traffickers or slavers or something and found by their bf Captain Fordo pretty pls with whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top?

You're Okay

Summary: When you get kidnapped by slavers while walking home from work, you think it’s game over for you. You should have known that Fordo would come for you.

Pairing: ARC Captain Fordo x F!Reader

Word Count: 866

Warning: Reader is kidnapped by slavers

A/N: Sorry that this is so short, I didn't have many ideas for it, and I'm struggling today.

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

It’s cold.

The room you’ve been locked in for days now is freezing. Or, well, maybe it wouldn’t be so cold if you were dressed properly, rather than just in your underwear.

The men who snatched you off the street took everything before they tossed you in here. Your clothes, your purse, your shoes…all of them have been removed and tossed, most likely.

You pull your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around them. No one knows where you are. Sure, people are going to look for you, Fordo being the first person on that list, but if there’s no evidence as to where you are, then he’ll never find you.

And you’ll be sold into slavery.

And that’s it. Story over.

You drop your forehead to your knees and swallow your tears, crying won’t help. In fact, the only thing that crying will accomplish is making your face blotchy and swollen.

Which will only make the people holding you angry, and probably get you hit. Again.

There’s a schedule that your captors have. You get two meals a day, breakfast and dinner, and sometime around dinner you’re brought to a separate room where you’re allowed to shower and change into a new set of clothing (a clean set of bran and underwear that they have in dozens of different sizes) and then you’re allowed to sleep until breakfast the following morning.

Or, what you assume is morning.

But today seems to be a little different.

Your breakfast was late. Late enough that you were awake when someone finally delivered the meal, and they didn’t even come and take your empty tray after you finished eating.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that they were worried about something.

It’s later, though you're not sure how much later, when you hear something strange coming from the facility upstairs. It almost sounds like blaster fire.

Nervously, you slide to the back of your cell and eye the door. Whatever is happening upstairs, you want no part of. Of course, if the person, or people, who are attacking your captors are rival slavers, the odds of you remaining unseen down here are non-existent.

So, when the sounds of blasters stop upstairs, you can’t help but shift nervously and try to curl even tighter into the corner. And when you hear other cell doors slamming open down the hall, you have to clamp your hands over your mouth to keep yourself from sobbing.

Then the door to your cell slams open, and you flinch.

And then you hear a familiar voice, soft but rough, “Cyar’ika,” the familiar pet name comes out in a sigh, “I found you.”

Slowly, you drop your hand from your mouth and squint at the man standing in the door, “Fordo?”

He enters the cell and kneels before you, “It’s me,” your boyfriend, ARC Captain Fordo, replies as his dark eyes scan your bruised face, “You’re hurt.”

“I cried and they got mad,” You explain as you touch a heavily bruised cheek, “But that’s the extent of my injuries.”

“That’s for the medic to decide, not you.” Fordo corrects as he gently helps you to your feet, a scowl on his face when he notes just how barely dressed you are, “These aren’t yours.”

“No.” You agree as you tightly cling to his arms, “They aren’t.”

“Alright,” Fordo lightly brushes his fingers against your cheek, “That’s alright. Here,” He pulls a blanket from the bag that you hadn’t noticed him carrying, and wraps it snugly around you, and you’re warm for the first time since you’ve been taken.

“Fordo,” You mumble, as you tighten the blanket around you, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He pauses from where he’s making sure the blanket is secure around you, a confused look on his handsome face, “Why are you apologizing?”

“I should have been more careful,” You say quickly, “You always tell me that I need to pay more attention, and if I had then…then I wouldn’t—”

He sighs softly and lightly pulls you into a hug, “It wasn’t your fault.” Fordo tried to reassure. “There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.”

“But—”

“No. No buts. It was just a freak situation that you couldn’t have prevented.” Fordo tightens his hold around you, and drops a kiss to your forehead, “For a bit there, I didn’t think I was going to find you.” He admits quietly.

You release a shaky breath, and lean into him. “Can I go home now?”

“Not yet, cyare. Hospital first. And then I’ll take you home.”

“Yeah, alright.” You suddenly realize that you’re crying, and Fordo tightens his hold around you once more, “Thank you,” You say through your sobs.

“You don’t have to thank me for coming to get you, cyare.” Fordo soothes, “I’ll always come for you.”

You’re unable to speak because you’re crying so hard, and so you cling to Fordo and allow him to comfort you. You know that Fordo is going to stay close to you for the next couple of weeks.

You know, in the end, you’ll be alright. But for now, you allow yourself to be weak.

Fordo has you.

@imabeautifulbutterfly

@n0vqni

@bad4amficideas

@justiceandwar98

@mira-loves-star-wars

@tiredbi-peach

@dukeoftheblackstar

@trixie2023

@kimiheartblade

@padawancat97

@falconfeather23435

@etod

@bb8-99

@kiss-anon

@continous-mistakes

@yoitsjay

@liz-stat

@cc--2224

@adriennelenoir

@cdblake1565

@sweater-sloot

@heidnspeak

@wax-birds

@silly-starfish

@lonewolflupe

@maniacalbooper

@rebell-ious

#star wars #tcw #arc captain fordo x reader #fordo x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #f!reader fic #answered asks #vod'ika replies

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cutestbow · 7 months ago

Text

Notes: this blurb is apart of an au if anyone is confused

:Hi guys thank you so much for all the likes and follows, and I am so grateful to tell you that im going to be uploading a lot more frequently I have a lot of ideas in mind!!!!, also remember that my requests for this au are always open so if you have any ideas pleaseeeeeeee request themmmm!!!<33

It had been a week since they had all been at the lake house, and usually around that time the boys would invite their friends and have little get together parties.

So there Penelope sat on the back patio watching all the interactions around her, her eyes roamed before they landed on Luke

He had been talking to someone with a beer in his hand, she couldn’t quite make out who exactly due to people walking in front of her, she sat up attempting to get a better view ignoring marks confused remarks.

Once the crowd dyed down and she got a good view her movements stilled, he was talking to a girl, she was blonde with these ocean blue eyes, penny had never seen her around before but she thought she was beautiful.

She sat back grabbing her water and slumping in her chair before turning her head towards a smirking mark

“What?” She Said furrowing her eyebrows

“Her names grace I think Luke’s been talking to her for like two weeks now” he spoke suddenly

“I wasn’t looking at them” she tried to laugh off bringing the bottle to her lips

Mark just rolled his eyes in response deciding to drop the subject

The more later it got the more people left, the sun had set and it had just been the three brother and couple of their friends sitting at the patio, and grace.

Penny watched as she easily laughed at whatever unfunny joke Luke had told her, she watched as grace would hold his arm Every time she laughed

Penelope was quickly snapped out of her thoughts when mark tapped on her arm, “here” he said handing her a blanket that she wasted no time wrapping her self in

She sat there taking in the warmth before looking up and locking eyes with Luke.

She managed to give him a tight lip smile before looking down again suddenly finding fascination in the blanket she’d been wrapped in

But really it was just an excuse to look anywhere but the way Luke held grace, penny wondered if they’d been dating, it didn’t matter if they were she didn’t care she told herself

Penelope sat in silence muting all conversations around her and letting her thoughts take over before she was snapped out of her thoughts for second time that night,

“what?” She responded harshly at the person, annoyed in that moment

She quickly grew embarrassed as all eyes landed on her, “I just asked if you were ok?” Quinn spoke lowly making penny feel bad for the way she responded

“Oh I’m sorry, yes I’m fine” she apologized , penny rarely got angry or frustrated at anyone so she didn’t understand what’s gotten her so irritated now.

She watched as everyone went back to what they were originally doing and penny saw that as a sign to leave, she quickly got up bidding quiet goodbyes to some of the umich boys and mark before walking inside to the kitchen, sitting at the island resting her head on the cold surface closing her eyes

She had let her thoughts take over again making her enter a tired state, before she knew it she had fallen asleep.

It had been three in the morning when luke suddenly woke up, walking down the stairs after deciding he wanted water

Luke’s steps faltered as he walked into the dark kitchen seeing a very much asleep penny, Luke sighed at her state, had no one seen her down here?, why did no one come and get her?

He walked over to her, hesitating before gently shaking her, seeing that she didn’t wake up he shook again getting the same reaction he did before.

He sighed “what am I gonna do with you” he spoke quietly rarely above a whisper moving a loose strain of hair from her face

gently he picked her up from her position and left the kitchen, walking up the stairs and into her specific room in the house

He softly layed her down on the bed pulling the covers over her, turning the lamp next to her bed off

Luke turned around once to glance at her before leaving

#✫彡✧⍟ 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐗 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 ✫彡✧⍟#luke hughes fic

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nickscodthoughtsblog · 1 month ago

Text

To Understand (König/Nikto)

The inevitable followup to Shot in the Dark. this time they get to talk a lot more and Nikto helps his new friend understand his situation. i did some research to understand dissociative disorders myself, but if there's some stuff that's not right, i apologise, im still learning. enjoy!!

He didn't get a lot of chances to speak to Nikto again after the first time. He was either busy, or Nikto was gone. Two days later, Krueger was back, safe and victorious. It was kind of nice to see the Russian not sitting alone. But König couldn't figure him out. He referred to himself as we. He could understand they and them, but we? Outside of a group setting, it didn't work. He was missing something.

He was walking towards the gym when he ran into Krueger, only stopping when he felt his hand on his shoulder. “King. One moment.” He stopped him, pulling him to the side of the hallway. König let him distract him from his thoughts, practically welcoming it until he spoke. “Nikto said you tried talking to him.”

“I didn't try.” König was a little put off by the wording. “We talked for…not very long, granted…”

“Exactly. You tried.” Krueger replied, a hint of smugness mixed with his accent. “Not my point.”

“Did I upset him?”

“Nein, nein…he was the smallest bit happy when he told me.” He paused, putting his hands on his own waist. “What the hell did you say to him?” It was like he was imitating an angry mother telling a child off for being a bad influence.

“Almost nothing. I got his name, and said it was good to meet him.” König explained. “Is it wrong he's slightly happier?”

Krueger huffed a little. “You're misreading me, and you know it. I'm just wondering how you do it to everyone you talk to.”

That was…almost concerning, actually. “Do what?”

“Scheiße, King, you have got to notice it by now. You always have a good impact on everyone in KorTac. Even Nikto. He said his system kept thinking of you after you talked.”

König was about to quote his own mother in that “kindness goes a long way”, but that word caught him out. System… “His what?”

Krueger shrugged, his arms settling crossed across his chest. “It's what he calls it. Whatever it is. Haven't got a straight answer out of him.” So, Krueger doesn't even know everything about him either. God, did anybody besides the top brass know a damn thing about him!? “... you still there, King?”

He blinked, getting his thoughts in order. “Ja, ja. Do you know where Nikto is?”

“If he hasn't moved yet, he's…probably outside, near the training field?”

“Danke. See you later, Krueger.” And he left, nudging him accidentally as he walked past. Krueger had no time to ask what got into him.

It was cold out, but it didn't stop König from going out and finding Nikto sitting on a bench, by himself. “Nikto, there you are.” He greeted him as he came to a stop next to him. “Mind if I join you?”

Nikto looked up at him, studying his face for a moment. “... feel free, König.” He watched him sit, not uncomfortably close, and not awkwardly far. “Did you need something?”

“Oh, nein, it's just been a while since we talked.”

“It's been two days.”

“Ja…that is while, isn't it?”

A small huff. Amusement, he thought. “Mm. You're right.” It was strangely relaxing to hear.

But then it went back to quiet between them. Kὅnig wasn’t really sure how to bring up his questions about this system of his. Not yet, at least. “Say, Nikto.” He caught his attention, those distant eyes turning to him. “It’s pretty cold out, isn’t it?”

“A little.” He took a moment, looking up at the cloudy sky. “...do you think we’ll get snow?”

“I don’t know.” Kὅnig joined him in watching the clouds slowly drift above. It was quite calming to sit here and watch them with him. “Would you want it to?”

“...да. We like snow.” he replied, only pausing for a moment, like he was thinking. Maybe he was seeing what his system wanted him to tell Kὅnig. “It’s…calming. Like a gentle blanket. I like it undisturbed, smooth…это нас расслабляет.” A few seconds go by, before he glanced over, noticing the slightly confused look in the Austrian’s eye. “You don’t know russian, do you?”

“Ah, nein…” he rubbed the back of his neck under his sniper hood.

“Neither does Krueger.” Nikto looked back up at the sky. “Helps to…hide things from him.”

“Hide things?”

“Things some of us don’t want him to know.”

“You mean your system?” Kὅnig couldn’t hold his tongue fast enough.

Nikto’s eyes snapped over to him. “...did Krueger tell you about that?” He nodded a little, slightly nervous he overstepped. “...сука…”

“I’m sorry, should I have not said that?”

“Not your fault.” Nikto grumbled, adjusting and sitting up a bit more. He held out his hand. “Your phone.” He was a little annoyed, but was glad Kὅnig didn’t resist, taking out his phone and unlocking it before placing it in his hand. He sighed, and typed something into the browser before handing it back.

Kὅnig read over the page. “...dissociative disorders?”

“I was diagnosed a few years ago. Acute, as they put it.” He didn’t watch him read the information. “Don’t expect me to tell you how or why.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Good.”

It was a lot to take in. He spent a bit of time just scrolling and putting things together in his head. “...you didn’t have to tell me, you know.”

“Да. But better I tell you than Krueger.”

“So…he knows?” The Austrian looked back over to Nikto, curiosity in his eyes. “He said he couldn’t get a straight answer…”

“Of course. We told him not to tell anyone.” he huffed. “He missed the part where we meant any of it.”

“Ah. Well, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

Nikto paused, looking over to him once more. “...thank you.”

“Of course.” He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable after all. “So, do you like winter then?”

“...it brings some comfort to us.” Nikto replied, not taking his eyes off the tall man. He only nodded a little in return, not pushing it but seemingly open to hear more. “One of them finds peace in the cold. Comfort.” He settled, letting himself be a bit more open.

“I can see that.” Kὅnig replied, nodding. “It can be nice to watch the snow fall.”

“Да. She thinks so too.”

Kὅnig thought for a moment. “Would you mind if I…ask some questions about your, uh…system?”

“Why?” was his immediate response.

“So I can avoid offending you.” He didn’t expect him to respond so…genuinely.

“Go on.” He didn’t see the harm, though he was tentative.

And they sat there, not minding the cold as Nikto answered some of Kὅnig’s questions. Things like “What do you call the others in your system?” and “They have different genders?” were simple to answer, and he was more than comfortable to. There were more sensitive questions he was unsure about, but the big man didn’t try to coax anything out of him. As soon as he saw the uncertain look in his eyes, he stopped, giving a small apology and changing the topic for a bit. Krueger had mentioned he had an odd talent for getting on everyone’s good side. He had thought he was just forcing everyone to be his friend. But just from how he didn’t press hard topics, it…didn’t seem that way.

Nikto didn't bother to keep track of the time on a good day, but it felt like it was flying by. Questions and answers between brief pauses, information not only given, but received. It seemed like every answer he gave paid for a small story in return. For telling him about the therapy he went through after his diagnosis, he received a description of Kὅnig’s own sessions for his social anxiety - how a man bold enough to approach him for conversation could have anxiety was strange, but he was in no position to judge. A short explanation of how his alters work, for a more light-hearted story of the cookies Kὅnig’s mother made for his birthdays. It was nice to hear that he had a family life that wasn't in tatters.

Ten minutes ago it didn't even seem like he was fishing for details on the disorder. He focused more on how Krueger became close to Nikto, and went on to tell him about his friendship with the others in the PMC. One long tangent. Even now, he was recounting the times Horangi had placed bets with him over seemingly random things. Unfortunately, his phone buzzed, an alarm reminding Nikto to get something to eat. Kὅnig stopped when he saw the masked man close his eyes and sigh. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing is. I have to go get food.” He stood up.

“Have you not eaten yet?” He seemed pretty shocked, checking his phone. “It's six in the afternoon, Nikto!”

“We lost track of time. It's fine.” He dismissed it. “One thing, though.” He stepped closer to him, staring him in the eyes. “Do not tell anyone what we have told you. Да?”

“I promise.”

He kept staring into his eyes, just to see if he was lying. He didn't seem like he was. “Good. Just making sure.” His hand came up, solidly patting his shoulder twice as he walked past him. “See you, Kὅnig.”

Even as he left, he was glad the big man had decided to try. He was almost, in some way, disappointed the talk ended.

Maybe it could go on longer next time they spoke.

#owls blurb #call of duty #cod #konig #könig #könig call of duty #könig cod #cod nikto #call of duty nikto #nikto cod #mwii nikto #nikto

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lovinkiri · 2 years ago

Note

Hi, I really like your work! Also your page is so prettyyyyyyy💛

Can I request some headcanons (sfw or not, I'll leave it up to you!) for Tokoyami, Sero and Monoma (separately) with a chubby rader.

It's okay if you don't want to write this, also, if you don't want to write for all of these characters.

Have a nice day!

Hands All Over You

Author's Thoughts: You have no idea how happy this made me. I've been gone for a bit but I'm pretty sure it's cause I don't feel as inspired. This made my day though, I literally gasped 💕 AND OMG YOU ARE MY FIRST MONOMA IM TOO EXCITED—

Warning: NSFW-ish (what we called a lime back in the day), Groping, Cussing, Etc.

Fumikage Tokoyami

All this man wants to do is hold you and snuggle, I swear!

He'll intertwine his fingers and rest his palms over your tummy, pull you on top of him with his hands on your hips.

He slides his hands over your skin, appreciating and making himself aware of every curve and dip.

Dark Shadow can often be found winding himself around your waist, nuzzling your plush figure.

When you guys make out, his hands are roaming.

While he's occupied with you, Dark Shadow's talking all sweet in your ear because I swear he has a dirty mouth, and I'll die on that hill

"C'mon, take it off for us. You will, won't you?"

And when they switch, Tokoyami loves to praise his darling

"So beautiful. I can't believe I have you all to myself. "

"Ahem!"

"... Sort of."

Hanta Sero

Like Tokoyami, he loves touching you, but this man cuddles and gropes you anywhere. And I do mean anywhere.

Grocery store, work, your parents' house, anywhere.

Whenever you guys hang out with your friends, his head is on his shoulder and he's hugging you from behind.

He prefers to have you on his lap too, and brushes away any concerns you may have of being "too heavy".

Just assures you that you aren't, and that feeling your weight on his lap is sexy ;)

They poke fun at his clinginess, but he just sticks his tongue out a grins.

"You're just mad I get to hold this cariño all the. Mantente enojado."

He loves seeing you dress up. One of the few men who love going shopping. Not only does he like clothes in general, but he wants to see you try on everything.

Buys whatever you like, doesn't matter.

"No te preocupes por eso. You're already doing enough, looking all pretty for me."

Don't be surprised when he wants to join you in the dressing room. I promise you won't regret letting him in though.

"Shhh. We don't want that nice lady outside to hear us, do we?"

Cariño = Honey

Mantente enojado = Stay mad/angry

No te preocupes por eso = Don't worry about that.

Neito Monoma

Neito can be pretty self-involved... Except for when it comes to you.

Because Neito thinks you're stunning, curves and all.

When he has a bad day, he's burying his face in your soft skin and holding you close again.

"Mm... You feel so soft against me, My Love..."

He loves your pretty thighs, loves laying his head on them, rubbing them as you lay in bed together.

Loves to see you in skirts and shorts. I'm telling you, the man is secretly pervert.

As soon as you walk in, he's looking you up and down with that sexy smirk.

Pulls you between his thighs and admires you.

"Such pretty hips..."

When you get intimate, he kisses all over your pretty body, praising you the whole time.

"Perfect. All of you, every inch of you, is perfect. Don't you ever forget."

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #x reader #hanta sero x reader #fumikage tokoyami x reader #neito monoma #fluff #smut #x chubby reader

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breezybangtanbebe · 1 year ago

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God Damn : Changkyun❤️‍🔥

A/N: (i wrote this like over a year ago and never edited it🙃) Changkyun x reader (1st person), toxic breakup, drinking, angst, raw sex, rough sex. Emotional and smutty...I apologize in advance. 🌚

6.6k words

"I'm really worried about him."

"He hasn't been himself since you left..."

"He's so lost without you..."

"He's not responding to any of us and we can't find him..."

"Please Mira.....you're the only one who knows him like us..maybe even better than us. He'll talk to you."

That last text from Kihyun was the hardest one to ignore because it was true.

I did know Changkyun better than his friends and that was one of the reasons why I left him in the first place.

I was done with him and this fucking city, already packed and in a hotel until the day of my flight came. This place held too many memories for me to remain here after our separation some months ago and the wounds were too fresh to risk the temptation to go back.

It hurts but I can't keep living like this.

Neither can he.

I knew I would find him here though.

He was such a creature of habit that it annoyed me that his friends wouldn't think to look here first.

It never fails.

He was always so easy to predict and sometimes I wish he'd prove me wrong.

Just once.

Maybe this is a setup.

Hmm...

The smoke was thick and blinding in the crowded basement and the bass shook the walls as I descended from the final step. The rain and thunder outside were drowned out immediately by the music and I have to squint my eyes to see through the haze as I stepped through it.

It was a typical Saturday night and the mutual acquaintance and owner of the house was hosting one of his usual boozed-up functions that I admittedly used to look forward to. But we all have to grow up sometime.

I moved through the swaying crowd of people too drunk and high to care about making way for the angry curly-headed brunette searching the crowd. All of them were lost in the rhythm of the music.

And whatever else they were on...

I hoped he would be among the many in the small sea of stoners. Make my life easy just once would you, Im Changkyun.

Fucking pain in my ass.

Eventually, I made my way to the furthest corner of the party which was illuminated by beaming red LEDs. Several booths lined the back wall where a single light bulb glowed above each table. All of them were littered with paraphernalia, hookahs, empty liquor bottles, and ashtrays filled to the brim with roaches (not the bugs) and cigarette butts. The stink of smoke was even more potent here since it was the source and it burned my eyes the closer I got.

That's when I saw him.

I know it was him immediately by the sway of his long unkept hair hanging in his face. His black leather jacket is draped behind him and the bulge of his tattooed bicep flexes beneath his loose white v-neck tee. He sat with his head down, his elbows resting on the table and his hands running through his hair.

He's alone. Thankfully. Or else this would have been thrice as awkward. It was at that moment that I questioned my intentions as I lingered a few feet away.

Why am I here?

I should just call one of his friends and tell them he's here.

Jooheon would be happy to pull up with Hosoek more than likely to take over.

Kihyun would march straight up to him and yank him up by his collar.

Minhyuk would most likely do something similar after cussing him out for worrying everyone.

Hyunwoo would sit and talk some sense into him, convince him to pull himself out of this ditch he'd buried himself in.

Hyungwon would drink with him for a little before convincing him to quit and go home.

They were his friends. They should be the ones to handle him in his ruins. Not me.

I should just call one of them.

I should walk away now.

I should...

I'm about to step back into the darkness of the dance floor but suddenly go stiff when Changkyun lifts his head and for the first time in what feels like forever I see his face.

He seems thinner, his jawline sharper than I remember, and there is a red smudge staining the corning of his bottom lip. That's when I noticed the redness on his knuckles.

The scrapes, bruises, and scars.

What had he done to himself after we went our separate ways? Drinking himself into a stooper aside. What demons had he been battling that I couldn't bear witnessing any longer?

Without thinking about it anymore, I approached him with a fast beating and heavy heart. I'm gonna get him out of here and be done.

For good.

I stand beside where he's seated and wait for him to notice me, hoping he isn't too far gone in the glass of what I presumed to be some form of cognac with no ice.

It only takes a few seconds for Changkyun to lift his head to look up at me with blank eyes. It's as if I was just some random girl blocking the light. But after a few seconds of exaggeratedly slow blinking, his expression changes from indifference to annoyance.

"Amira?" I catch on his lips. Changkyun looks me up and down, studying me in my jeans and coat before lazily locking eyes with me again.

"I'm here to take you home." I raise my voice and the look of irony on my ex's face gives me pause.

"Home...." He slurs with a tsk as he drags his eyes back down to the swirling liquor in his glass.

I furrow my brow at him but choose to dismiss the look of disgust on his face.

"Get up," I say with more urgency, not even bothering to raise my voice. Changkyun scoffs lightly before picking up the short-cut glass set before him on the table.

My face hardened as he ignored me to take a sip of the amber substance, his Adams Apple bobbing as he swallowed.

"I am home so.......Fuck off...." He mumbles, gesturing towards the glass as he sucks in another sip.

He was so stubborn when was drunk.

Definitely NOT going to miss that.

Losing my patience, I reach for the glass before he can take another sip and Changkyun's lightning reflexes seem well intact judging by how quickly he moved the cup from my reach. But in the process, he also underestimates the strength of his grip and the small glass shatters in his grasp.

Broken shards fall over the tabletop, spilling the alcohol all over its surface. No one around reacts to the scene though, leaving only me to witness the frustration in Changkyun's expression.

"God dammit..." I hear him huff and my eyes go wide at the steady stream of blood tricking from his palm. He doesn't seem to notice it though and is staggering to his feet like a drone. I already knew what he was after, a drink to replace that one and I wasn't having it.

"No," I say as I grabbed him by the wrist. Changkyun looks down at my hand then at me and scoffs.

"What are you doing?" He furrows his brow with an arrogant smirk.

"You can barely walk. No more drinking. Let's go." I yell over the music.

"Go home, Mira..."

"I'm not leaving here without you!"

"For fucks sake..."

Changkyun drunkenly scoffs at me again before snatching out of my grasp. I quickly grab his other and it turns into an obnoxious game of snatch and grab on the dance floor.

If I weren't so annoyed and pissed, I would be embarrassed at how childish we must have looked. Standing there playing tug of war with each other. Of course, I was no match for Changkyun's strength but I was sober. This meant my reaction time reflexes and persistence were bound to have him relenting to my will eventually.

It took some convincing and a bit of manhandling on my end to get Changkyun to leave the basement. Thankfully, there seems to be a break in the storm and I glance up at the sky with relief.

At least we wouldn't have to walk in the rain on top of me dragging this drunk ass.

My mood plummets once we reach the sidewalk. Because the moment we're outside and the humid air hits him, I flinch at how Changkyun suddenly moves out of my reach to double over a random trash can.

Ugh.

I rolled my eyes even harder as he wretched into the metal bin, resisting the urge to go to him. To rub his back and stroke his hair. To comfort him through the inevitable.

I don't though.

That wasn't my job anymore.

We stumble up the sidewalk for a few blocks until we reach his apartment building and I get him inside using the code I'd memorized from frequent use over the years. It was now pouring again and we were drenched by the time we stepped inside the building's lobby.

I get him inside and shiver at the chilling temperature from the doorway. As if being soaked to the bone with rainwater wasn't enough. It seemed as though just to vex me, my thoughtless drunk of an ex kept his heat off all day.

"Ugh..." I exhale again. Standing here cussing him in my mind wouldn't get us warm so with me supporting most of his weight, we enter.

A trail of wet shoes and outerwear lay abandoned by the front door and the hum of the heat filling the old vents of his apartment swirl around us as I sat in the living room.

I kept his lights dim and left the TV off as I listened to the rain pattering against the windows.

Changkyun snored softly in the spot I allowed him to plop down on the couch and he'd fallen asleep immediately, his hair and shirt still damp, leaving me on the armchair opposite of him.

There Amira. The job was done.

You can leave now.

Leave him and all of this torment behind you.

I said that to myself as I rose to my feet. Changkyun remained still and sleeping with his face mushed against the cushion, his wet hair fanned out over his head.

Why did he have to be so cute AND such a disaster all at once?

Lightning strikes, spooking me to sit back down on the indented sofa. Then another chill ran over my body despite the warming air, reminding me of the weather I'd be facing again once I stepped outside.

An Uber or cab would cost a bit.

And the metro station was too far to walk to in the rain.

Perhaps I should have thought this through, instead of allowing Kihyun's worrisome ass to convince me to do this.

"Dammit.." I sigh, ultimately deciding it would be best to stay put. Hopefully, Changkyun remained asleep by the time the storm let up enough for me to sneak out of there.

So I stayed, reluctantly, and leaned my head back against the cushion of the sofa.

Between the thunder, the buzzing hum of the heating system in his apartment, and the soft sound of Changkyun's muffled snoring, it wasn't long before my eyes began to roll back sleepily.

"Hey...."

I flinch and my eyes pop open to find Changkyun standing before me in the living room, shirtless with his wild mane sitting messily atop his head.

It looked as if he'd awakened some time ago and taken a shower since he's in different clothes and the clean scent of his shampooed hair is detectable from his proximity.

I gulp as my eyes travel down his body of their own volition but blink away any inappropriate ideas before they can form. I lift my gaze to find him staring at me with the same dark interest.

"You're still here..." he states calmly as I sit up in the seat and he regards me just as soft as his voice as I glance around the room with mild confusion.

It was still dark outside but the storm had eased up significantly.

Damn...

How long was I asleep?

His eyes seemed more sober than they were before he passed out and I looked up at him speculatively.

That's a relief.

"Um...yeah. Must have dozed off.." I mutter, grimacing as I shake the sleepiness away.

Changkyun makes a noise that could have either been a scoff or a snort of humor.

"Yeah. Me too.." he chuckles, but his smile doesn't touch his eyes as it trailed off.

I can't imagine the headache he must have right now.

At his pause, I take it upon myself to continue.

"I stuck around hoping that the storm would let up a bit and dry off. I wasn't trying to..."

"Naw it's cool. You don't have to explain...Shit, to be honest...I don't even remember how I got home. Glad you had something to do with that and not some random..." he chuckles shamelessly and although I know he saying it in a joking manner, I know he is serious.

There's no telling how many women he's brought back here after getting shitfaced.

The thought makes my stomach turn.

"Yeah well...Since you're awake, I should probably get going..." I concede amid his nervous chuckling, preparing to stand and Changkyun immediately lifts his hands to stop me.

"What? No...I mean... it's still raining and it's late. People drive like dick heads over here when it's wet..." he says, his choice of words always colorful.

"It's fine...I didn't drive. I took the train." I said truthfully.

Changkyun frowns at my response.

"You took the train? What happened to your car?" He asks and I go tense.

Oh boy.

"I.......sold it," I answer him, tucking my lips between my teeth as I wait for him to digest the answer.

The two of us hadn't spoken in a while which meant I hadn't made him aware of me moving away, let alone me selling the car he'd spent countless hours working on for free.

Other than it being in my name and me being financially responsible for it, Changkyun put just as many miles and effort into it as if it were his.

"You sold your car..." he deadpans and I nod affirmatively.

Bravely.

Awkwardly.

"Yep. For a really good price to a guy I knew from uptown. I.... can't afford to take it with me so.."

"Oh right! Because you're moving out of the city." Changkyun interrupts me.

The sluggishness in his voice was no longer present, telling me he was for sure sober. But that same hint of disdain and disgust presented itself as he spoke. I open my mouth to respond but he cuts me off.

"Yeah....I know. Kinda saw it on Instagram. The whole "going away party" threads on your friend's stories gave me the clue. Sucks that I couldn't hear the news from you but...ya know." he shrugs sullenly.

I stand there quietly for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah." is all I can muster and Changkyun scoffs.

"Yeah.." he chuckles breathily, turning away from me as he runs a hand through his hair. I watched him begin to pace slowly, rubbing at the back of his neck and flaunting his bare upper body to the neon glow of the street lights just beyond his apartment window.

"I get it though. Of course you sold it. I mean...why not? You could always just get a replacement. Since that's your way of doing shit anyway. Commit to something, get it all fixed up, and just...walk away from it." He turns on his heel to throw in before turning his back to me again.

His statement stuns me and I'm left speechless as he continues away from me.

I watch his back and the shadows cast against his muscles from the dimness as he walks over to his array of liquor bottles lined up against the back wall of the kitchen counters. He reaches for a half-empty Hennesy, twisting the cap and tipping it back for a hefty sip that's swallowed down like water.

I furrow my brow at the way his shoulders sag in relief as he turns to me.

"You could have told me, you know? Thought we were better than that," he remarks stiffly before he lifts the bottle back to his lips, gazing over its body at me as he takes another sip.

His eyes are expectant and I just stare back, too tired to indulge him.

I sigh heavily and begin patting my pockets to make sure my phone and wallet are still there before spotting my keys on his coffee table.

"The only reason I'm here was because Kihyun reached out." I snatch them up and they jingle loudly as I step around the table. Changkyun frowns at the sound of his friend's name on my lips and narrows his eyes.

"Why the fuck would he hit you up?" he asks and I snort at the bitterness of his question.

"I asked myself the same thing. But he figured I was his last resort in getting in contact with you, seeing as how you've been avoiding everyone and missing work. Believe me, though, I'm starting to wish he hadn't..." I respond honestly breezing past Changkyun in the direction of his guest bathroom.

The only reason I'm able to move so comfortably around his apartment was that Id damn near made it my second home in the duration of our tumultuous relationship.

I wouldn't be surprised if I still had a toothbrush or a box of tampons here.

I flip the light switch, not at all surprised to find Changkyun following close behind and my disheveled reflection staring back at me in the mirror. My curls had dried only a little and my makeup was smudged a tad but not ruined.

"Right..because I'm not your problem anymore." He chuffs, taking another sip and I roll my eyes at his antics as I try to tend to my appearance. I run my fingers through my hair roughly before snatching a paper towel off the roll, dampening it before wiping just below my eyeline.

"You were never my problem Changkyun. The only one here with problems was you." I mutter distractedly, frowning at how difficult it was to wipe away my mascara. My response seems to amuse him and an ironic smirk crosses his face as he leans against the doorway.

"And I'm guessing that's why you left? Me and my problems? Just me though, right? Since you're so perfect..." he asks with a cheeky tone and I hiss irritably as I abruptly turn to face him.

"What choice did I have? What choice did you give me? All we do is fight. It's not healthy for either of us and I'm exhausted. YOU are exhausting. I never claimed to be perfect but you..." I go on and Changkyun nods cynically as I speak.

"Yeah...c'mon. Lay it on me. Tell me how horrible I am despite all the shit I've done for you...I'm the fucking worst right?" He chortles and I can't help but laugh.

"Like I haven't done shit for you! Don't act like that negates the fact that you can't change or that...I don't know...We just aren't compatible anymore. That we've grown apart..."

"I'm not changing for somebody who doesn't know what the fuck they want. Ok?" Changkyun cuts in, jutting his forefingers into his sternum emphatically.

"You're impossible to satisfy Mira! You want me to be someone that I'm not. At least not yet...You put pressure on me to do shit how you want and when I fall short, I'm the bad guy. I never cheated on you. Never put my hands on you..."

"Gee, thanks for the bare minimum of common decency Kyun. I appreciate it." I mumble amid his rambling...

"..when you suggested seeing a shrink, I was open to it.." he continues.

"But did you go?" I tack on and he rolls his eyes.

"That's not the point. You gotta give me time. This shit here? Talking about my feelings...this is new territory for me. You never cut me any slack. You just criticize and jet like you're doing now.."

"Because I'm tired of cutting you slack. I'm tired of waiting...I wanted us to evolve and be better together. I wanted us to live together officially and live healthier and get married and..." I trail off, the words clogging my throat as the heartbreak of feeling rejected by him swell.

For a while, we were fine.

But eventually, I wanted more than what he was willing to give. And he tried to appease me and distract me from the fact that our relationship had hit a plateau.

It took us having a pregnancy scare for me to really see how unprepared he was for us moving forward.

"...but you've made it explicitly clear that that's not what you want." I nearly choke on the sob threatening to break through.

We'd been through this too many times and rehashing it was the last thing I wanted. Changkyun blinked a few times as if he needed to gauge my demeanor before responding.

Then he looked away painfully, grimacing a bit as he rubbed at the back of his neck with a troubled sigh.

"I know...I'm just..not ready.." he mutters, his eyes now on the floor. His jaw tightened and shifted as he contemplated something and I remained in front of the bathroom sink patiently.

The silence between us was deafening and the longer I gazed at him and his conflicted state, the stronger my urge to cry became.

I love this man.

So much that it hurts to even say it.

Changkyun lifts his head suddenly at the sound of me sniffling and I curse myself for letting a tear escape.

I turn my back to wipe it away with a shaky huff.

"I know. And I'm not waiting for you to be. I can't. I'm just done." I shake my head, avoiding the searing look in his eyes I knew he was giving me.

I sniffle again, scanning his bathroom for the tiny waste bin to discard the charcoal-streaked paper towel and Changkyun stands unmoved in the doorway as I brush past him.

Before I'm clear of him, I feel his hand gripping me by the wrist.

I pause, anticipating the inevitable. Another condescending remark to get a rise out of me, provoking me to engage in more back and forth. Feeding his selfish need to drain me until I was as empty as he felt.

But to my surprise, he says nothing.

At his silence, I turn to find him staring at our now intertwined fingers sadly.

His brow creased painfully and the muscles in his jaw tensed as he bit back the urge to cry, the urge that glistened in his hooded eyes.

"You can't be angry at me for not wanting what you want when you want it," he repeats and I roll my eyes, pulling my hand from his with little effort. He doesn't try to stop me from withdrawing despite us moving like magnets. He drags behind me to the living room mindlessly.

"I'm not doing this...." I mutter as I scan the room as if I'd forgotten something.

"You're here, so you are. We..are doing this." He grits, his tone making me turn on my heel to face him with the full intention to cuss and give him exactly what he wanted.

But the way he glares into me with broken eyes and his sullen shoulders, I'm rendered silent.

"We could have worked this out but instead you did what you always do when shit gets tough. Run away.." he closes the distance between us tentatively, his voice shaking as he spoke.

I shake my head at the conviction in his voice, knowing we were at an impasse.

"Right.." I chuckle before wiping my eyes one more time. I lift them to match his glare intensely.

"And you go and do what you always do when you can't take accountability for shit. Go and find solace at the bottom of a liquor bottle until you're painting the floor with it."

I know the words a daggers to him when he narrows his eyes.

"And you're such a saint." Changkyun tuts his brow arrogantly at me.

Yes. There was a time when getting black-out drunk and high was considered a good time. And those horrible habits were the reason Changkyun and I bonded. Mutual interests evolved as did our relationship and loving him made being under the influence less necessary.

"Well, it's a good thing we ended things right? Since we're so different..." I shrug and Changkyun scoffs, looking away with his tongue sticking through the skin of his cheek. When he looks back, it's with a look that always used to make my core tighten.

"I didn't end shit." he insists, narrowing his eyes at him darkly.

"I know."

"Exactly. So stop acting like I wronged you in all of this. Stop acting like I'm the one who broke your heart, Mira."

The tears were flowing freely by now and I neither had the will or strength to resist them anymore. Eyes rimmed red and shining, I let out a laugh that morphs into a muffled sob.

"I had to. Don't you understand? For the sake of my sanity, I had to walk away because I was not going to sit back and watch you destroy yourself. To watch us destroy each other. I loved you too much to continue this. I tried but I just couldn't. I had to be done."

"What if I'm not?"

"Kyun..."

"I don't wanna be done."

He stares at me blankly for a moment, his eyes reading the way I avoided his with a melancholy smirk.

Suddenly Im inhaling the malted mix of cognac and mint as he grabbed me at the back of my neck, pulling me forward so that he could rest his forehead against mine.

His eyes bore into mine, dark as obsidian and just as hard. The tip of his nose brushes mine and he tilts his head so his words are painted against my lips in an exalted exhale.

"And neither do you.." he mouths, our parted lips sharing a desperate breath for a moment before one of us gives in.

And it's him.

It's always him.

The darkness in his eyes was sinful when he pulled away and I'm ashamed to have been the one chasing his lips a little when he did.

His presence was more intoxicating than any liquor I ever consumed.

The way neon lights from beyond the window blinked against the side of his face, highlighting his chiseled features as he walked me back until I was pressed flat against the wall of his living room.

"Kyunnie?" I stammer as he pressed against me, pinning me to the concrete grey-painted wall, kneading my nape as he tipped his head back just enough to see my face.

His eyes danced with mine for a moment, both of us hesitating and searching for something in the other.

"You hate me, don't you?" He asks.

"I never said that..." I attempt to respond but he shakes his head.

"You never had to..." he cuts me off, his eyes falling to my lips. Without a shred of hesitation, he leans in and kisses me again.

Harder.

More fervently.

Hennessy and desperation lingered on his tongue but he didn't kiss me as if on a drunken impulse. He kissed me as if his life depended on it. Sloppy and frantic. Our teeth clashed at moments as our tongues fought and our voices melded into a melody of muffled moans.

What the hell was happening...

A few minutes ago I was ready to walk away from this part of my life. Ready to end this chapter and close the door on the man who knew better but wouldn't do or be better.

Toxic wasn't even the word.

His mouth parts from mine and he trails sloppy desperate pecks down from my lips to my neck.

My weakness.

The moment his lips grazed my skin, chills ran over my entire body, and Changkyun wasted no time in taking my flesh between his teeth. His hard body felt hot against mine and I wasn't sure if it was his heartbeat I felt through my clothes or my own. But what I did know was that I needed him.

In more than just a physical sense.

I needed him all over me.

On top of me.

Inside me.

His tongue swipes over the series of love bites he placed on my skin and I moan his name needingly. I feel him smile against me and chuckle softly before sucking a mark over my pulse.

He knew he had me the moment he sunk his teeth into my skin. Im putty in his hands and anything he desired was his as long as he was willing to fulfill mine.

Seconds later, we're falling back against his couch with me straddling his waist and him ripping my clothes off. It was not long before Im naked and gazing down at the length of Changkyun's dick standing up in his grasp.

He bites his lip, dragging his hooded gaze up my body as if he'd never seen it before.

Or as if he believed he'd never see it again.

He squeezed my hip with his other hand, encouraging me to grind my hips against him a few times before rising to my knees.

Wordlessly, he guides me down to sink into me slowly. A slow hiss blows between his teeth before his jaw goes slack and my eyes flutter shut in ecstasy at the slight sting.

It felt like forever since I'd had him inside me but it couldn't have been long enough for me to forget how he stretched me. I moan shamelessly with my head thrown back, my waist already whining against him and Changkyun reaches up to tangle his fingers with the hair at my nape.

He pulls me forward, forcing me to look at him as he buries himself as deep as I'll allow him.

"Fuck me baby...fuck me like you fucking hate me.." Changkyun demands, the growl in his deep raspy voice driving me wild with emotion and lust.

I obey immediately, placing my hands on the back of the couch for better support. I slowly roll my hips back and forth to find my rhythm, using my lower body strength to bounce on him. Every movement pushes him deeper and I soon lose myself completely in how good he felt.

Like he was made for me.

My moans soon drowned out the sound of our skin slapping together, the wetness and stimulation pushing me closer to climax.

It never took long for Changkyun to make me cum. He knew my body that well and at times I resented it. He was arrogant with the power he held and it's shown in the amusement written all over his face right now.

His brow is perked and his eyes are fixed on my face, relishing in the painfully pleasured expression of my impending orgasm as he bucked his hips to drive himself exactly where I needed him.

When my legs begin to shake, he smiles and fucks into me faster until a rush of release spurts out and around his dick. My warmth and wetness surrounded him like a waterfall, and he fought against the current effortlessly as I cried out.

"Oh my god.." I drawl out and Changkyun silences anything else I might have said by pulling me in by the neck to kiss him sloppily.

He hugs me against him, holding me in place as his hips continue to roll upwards and stroking me slowly as we kiss.

"I changed my mind..." I mutter against his lips and he hums questioningly.

"I do hate you..." I finish, his only response being a cruel chuckle that makes my walls clench around him.

"Fuck, Mira..." he whispers, taking my bottom lip between his teeth. I pull back slowly, allowing the flesh to stretch before he releases it with reluctance.

I attempt to untangle myself from him but his embrace only tightens with resistance.

Before I can question him, Changkyun grunts as he stands with his arms hooked beneath my legs. My eyes widen in surprise to find his hardened gaze fixated on where were still connected, biting his lip and bouncing my body against his dick.

This angle was even more torturous as it not forced him deeper, but the constant feel of me pounding against him had my clit throbbing from the friction. Not to mention the fact that he held me up and fucked me like this for a while, reminding me of how strong he was physically.

I almost feel like I can't breathe and my voice is hoarse from moaning. I most likely came again. Or a few times. I wouldn't be able to tell. I can barely see since tears still blurred my vision from before and I had no choice but to be at the mercy of my ex and his determination to prove a point.

Though, I had no idea or care of what it was.

"You hate me? Hmm...you hate me?" He grunted in time with his hard strokes, still holding me up in his arms.

I mumble his name endlessly and amidst a string of breathy moans.

I do hate him.

Hate him for ruining all men for me after this.

Hate him for always fucking me..making love to me..like his life depended on it.

Hate him for branding himself on my damaged soul so that every time I closed my eyes, my heart projected his face against the blank walls of my mind.

Hate him for giving me no choice other than to love him.

Fuck, I love him.

Changkyun pauses to step briskly with me still in his hold, nudging his already open bedroom door away for us to enter.

A chill ran over my skin as he stepped deeper into his room. The scent of his cologne and bed sheets trigger memories I fought to forget and I gasp when the softness of his them grace my back.

He doesn't waste another second.

He spreads me wide, keen eyes on where his dick still split me and a thick stream of saliva drips from his tongue and onto the point where we met.

As if it was needed.

I just think he got harder at the idea of stuffing me with as much of his DNA as he could.

And I hate to admit how hot it was.

"Kyun.." I sigh and his eyes snap up to my begging eyes as he sinks into me.

His hips rock my body higher on the mattress and his solid arms cage me against his chest as he fucked me.

Slowly.

Purposefully.

It wasn't hurried and frantic like before.

He curled into me and stroked my warm velvety walls with a gentleness I'd missed from him.

He savored me.

On his lips. On his tongue. In my sex.

Changkyun made love to me like a man stroking against a current, fighting his way to shore.

He fucked me as if it pained him not to.

I felt his lips kissing the shell of my ear as he whispered my name.

Over and over.

I can tell he's unraveling and that the moment is limited.

I held him against me, my nails scraping over his back as he rocked into me faster and harder, making me gasp.

I needed him.

Maybe not beyond this moment or these four walls.

But I needed him now in any way I could.

He'd barely pulled out in time before he spurts himself all over the face of my pussy, hiccuping my name against my throat as he came.

He strokes himself slowly, squeezing the final few drops of cum over my pink folds before pressing his dick back inside of me.

He's still rock hard and my slicked walls welcome him in with zero resistance.

I brace my hands against his hard biceps as he sank deeper inside of me to the hilt, the tip of him pressing as far as it would go. He flexes his hips and pushes himself impossibly deep.

So deep that I can feel our pulses throbbing between us.

So deep that it was as if he was yearning to touch a part of me that he never felt. A part of me that would be our saving grace and keep the withering connection between us alive.

But all I felt was pain.

Sweet.

Somber.

Sobering.

Pain.

"Changkyun...." I whimper beneath him and he eases back an inch with a heavy sigh as he lays his full weight over me.

He rests his face in the crook of my neck and I feel his warm touch caressing my face. His thumb swipes over the apple of my cheek, sweeping over the trail of tears that still flowed from my eyes.

For a while we just lay there, leveling our labored breaths and staring into the sepia tone of his darkened apartment bedroom. I feel myself drifting asleep until the deep vibrations of Changkyun's tired voice pull me back up.

"Hmm?" I rasp and he sniffs and swallows the hard lump of emotion in his throat, hugging our naked bodies tighter together.

"I don't blame you...for hating me." He says shakily, sniffling again. If it weren't for his grip on me and my fatigue, I would have pushed him away just enough for me to see his face.

I furrow my brow and contemplate what I could say to him in response. Just to ease the pain in his voice a touch because I did love him that much.

But...

"I hate me too..." he adds on, squeezing me again.

Changkyun turns his face so that that his nose brushes against my nape and his shuddering breath against my skin makes me shiver.

He cries there for a moment and the weakened tone of his light sobs pull me down into the abyss with him. I say nothing though. Knowing anything I could say would either sound patronizing or enabling.

Or a like a lie.

And I just couldn't do it anymore.

But God Dammit if it didn't hurt.

"I'm sorry." He whipsers after his silence sets a pause in his tears. The words sound painful for him to say and for some reason, my heart ached.

This changed nothing. He was still who he was and so was I. As much as we loved each other, it would never be enough.

"Me too. " Is all I can manage to say and I tangle my fingers in the sweat-damp hair at his nape, stroking his scalp with my fingertips soothingly as we both lay motionless.

Still connected in the only way we could be.

🥵

#monsta x smut #changkyun #changkyun smut #jooheon #wonho #hyungwon #minhyuk #kihyun #hyunwoo #shownu #monsta x #monsta x fanfic #monsta x imagines #monsta x changkyun

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kaycode1999 · 5 months ago

Note

hi heard you were doing some match ups and i was wondering if u could do me one

For starters, im a demisexual girl, still debating if im bi or simply a straight ally(in that case i'd kindly ask for a male counterpart), i don't want to be shipped with mk, mei, sandy, tang,pigsy bc i only see them as friends, and ao lie bc i already got him two times

i struggle with anxiety, abandonment, self worth and attachment issues and am currently working on my insomnia

Im a really sensitive person(tho not to the point of crying)my familly calls me a litteral drama queen

I sometimes feel like a useless third wheel, i rarely get angry at anything and always get along with anyone, my friends to confuse my goofy,friendly and open minded behavior for naivety and stupidety and i really hate it

For my aesthetic: i guess im a bit of everything depending on my mood, i like it when it matches, tho i do prefer hardcore colors like fushia, purple and dark blue, i also wear some moon and star themed jewelry i make myself

Im an ambivert, i socialize pretty well but prefer alone times

My love languages is physical affection(im not too clingy since i value personal space and boundaries more), words of affirmation, flirting lots of flirting and quality time and for me communication is the key, i don't really have a type but i am looking for someone loyal, who will love me and my insecurities and will accept that im badly crazy sometimes

i like drawing, mythology, reading, writing poems, painting, listening to music depending on my mood, studying dark entities(wich freaks my parents out), walking in the city(during night time),and i have a weird habit of collecting bird skull

I match you with

Macaque

The good thing is he knows first hand what its like to deal with anxiety, abandonment, self worth, attachment issues and feeling like a useless third wheel. Which means he has special knowledge of how to help you through it and/or do what he can to make sure he's never the cause of those feelings

With everything that's happened in his past, he actually views your demeanor as strong and intelligent. In his mind it takes no effort or intelligence to be cynical and mean, it's easy to do- but being friendly and kind shows your strength of character. ( Don't let him hear your friends putting you down for it or protective mode is ACTIVATED)

It simultaneously makes his heart swell with pride and makes him super flustered to see you wearing moon-themed anything because he compares himself to the Moon and Wukong to the Sun. (Please make him some matching ones he would love it😭)

Poor Monkey is honestly affection starved so he's not used to any of it. He's so thankful that you want to give him affection even though it makes him flustered. Its so cute though, his face gets so red with any kind of affection its adorable

Person B: what is this?

Person A: affection

Person B: disgusting

Person B:

Person B: do it again

This has actually happened before 😂😂

He never imagined he'd be lucky enough to be with you, so trust me once he is he's never leaving

He loves going on walks with you at night, he also finds the skull thing interesting

If you’re having trouble getting to sleep he’ll do whatever you want to help, just talking about random stuff or humming or just generally being there for you

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk matchup #lego monkie kid match up #macaque x reader #lmk macaque

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lewkwoodnco · 1 year ago

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Heyy:) I just wanted to request a George x fem!reader one shot :P I totally understand if you don't want to write it or if you don't like the idea or anything but I was thinking a fic inspired by "wildest dreams" by Taylor? Just some silly teen romance vibes you know🤭 (and please no Angst or anything, I can't take that shit atm😔)

Wildest Dreams - George Karim x Reader

A/N: going to be taking a break from the requests in my inbox to work on my 12 days of fics series! (but will get back to them after im done heheh) I might have completely butchered this ask im so sorry BUT I made it as fluffy as I think it gets (w George at least), just had to do the 77 thing i have no self-restraint, also this poem is soso beautiful one of my absolute favesss but idk whats up with the formatting :(((, wc 3.3k!

TAGLIST | MASTERLIST

Subtle Bridges

Walking with me, you'd once pointed to the fragility and ingenuity of a spider's web. Subtle bridges, you said, On bridges some men hang. A warning that has stayed While I read history traced in blood and tears of men. I was caught in the end with a nest of books. They burned anyway, and now I bend to build an emperor's endless wall. Like a thread of longing the border runs in loops and bends, and along it we root the gravestones of nameless men. A king's metaphor, This is, history raised from ash and bone -- a symbol Of its vast futility, or of eternity. Which it is I do not know, But since leaving home some things have come clear. No one literally breaks from loss, not even here. And some ties won't give. I sometimes dream of you, and walking, in gardens where love and knowledge hang.

By Yvonne Koh

She was at the Kensel Green Cemetery with the rest of her team from Fittes, after being called down by DEPRAC because of a robbery. They had spread out over the building, looking for any sign of the missing relic or the culprit, when she heard a slow, grinding noise from inside the hall. She quietly crept in to the silhouette of a shadowy figure bent over the casket.

"Can I help you?"

The boy's head snapped up immediately, painfully slamming against the stone shelf behind him. She let out an involuntary gasp, briefly wincing at the hollow thunk.

"Didn't do it," he groaned, steadying himself against the wall. "...whatever it was that...someone did."

She squinted at him using the little light spilling in from the corridor. He couldn't have been more than a year or two older than her. Against her better judgement, she kept her voice down.

"This is a crime scene!" she hissed at him.

"I - what?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm not a thief, or a relic man. I promise."

Her eyes swept his scruffy appearance critically. "Why would I think that?"

"Ms L/N?"

She turned, momentarily speechless, barely registering the rustle of the boy stealing away into the darkness. She blinked against the brightness of Inspector Barnes' torch, glancing back to check that he really was gone.

"Everything alright?"

She paused for a moment longer, as if willing him to rematerialise in the corner he had been crouching in just a moment ago. Nothing. Her eyes narrowed. Interesting. Very interesting indeed.

"Must have been the wind."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

George was staring out the kitchen window glumly, lazily stirring his mug of tea. The weather was as pleasant as it got, and Lockwood had roused them all at the crack of dawn for a breakfast picnic, to 'boost morale.' Of course, George should have known better than to hold his breath, especially when loud angry voices had started to shake him awake when he had been halfway through groggily packing their picnic basket. Now, he sipped his cold tea through thin lips, listening to the slow, steady footsteps approaching the kitchen and the wan face belonging to them.

"Let me guess. You and Lucy are no longer in the mood for a picnic?"

Lockwood sombrely shook his head. George sighed, picking up the picnic basket. Seemed like a shame to let his slaving away go to waste. And he was still very much in the mood for the strawberries and cream he had packed inside. Which is why George had been heading out for a solo breakfast picnic with enough food for three when he heard a foreign voice stop him.

"George Casper Karim."

He looked up from the doorknob in alarm. It was the girl from Kensel Green Cemetery. He hesitated, trying to gauge her expression.

"Ex-employee of Fittes Agency, fired after six months for insubordination, currently a researcher at Lockwood & Co."

"Brilliant. Astonishing, really, how you've repeated my own job history back to me."

She frowned. He relished the stab of satisfaction. He'd had a shitty morning and was likely going to have a shitty day, so really, having a go at someone was probably going to be the highlight.

"There's no need to be rude."

"I think I'd know where I've been the past couple of years, thanks very much. Forgive me for not being more impressed."

Still looking a little disgruntled, she pressed on, firmly clutching the waist-high gate. "I've got a bone to pick with you, if you don't mind."

He eyed her warily, and decided against approaching her any further. "You can pick it just fine from over there."

She looked mildly peeved, but he didn't trust her as far as he could throw her. After a few long, tense seconds, she relented, not that she was happy about it..

"So...you were right. You're no relic man."

That was quick. "Thank you. Have a nice day." He closed the distance between him and the gate in a few quick strides, pushing against it, but she pushed right back with a steely look in her eye.

"Don't know about the other bit, though."

He didn't like the look in her eye; the look of someone knowing something he didn't. His mouth went dry.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Might be more convincing if your associate hadn't mentioned a talking skull. Awfully difficult to contain a visitor without a ghost jar, wouldn't you say?"

He swore under his breath. "Fucking Lockwood can't keep his mouth shut."

"I don't expect DEPRAC takes kindly to thieves or hooligans-"

He let out a bark of laughter. "Hooligan? Me?"

"-or strange boys who break into places they shouldn't be-"

"You can't prove it was me."

"Wanna bet?"

A challenge. A dare. His mouth was already open to call her bluff when the self-satisfied smirk curling at the corner of her lip gave him pause. Lockwood wouldn't be much pleased if he gave DEPRAC another reason to steer the agency dangerously close towards closing. He wasn't like Lockwood or Lucy - he was careful, very careful. Too late George wished he had been a little more careful all those years ago in covering his tracks - but, to be fair, he had no reason to think anyone at Fittes would have been capable enough to put two and two together.

Until now.

"Look, why don't we...talk about this, like civilised people? I've got strawb - you like strawberries and cream, don't you?"

She sneered again. George was beginning to think that was just how her face looked.

"You want to bribe me with...strawberries...and cream?"

"It's not bribery. Just...a friendly chat. Agent to agent."

Which was how they ended up on a grassy hill at one of the meadows at the outskirts of London. He had never been there before, but Lockwood had remembered it as a prime spot for cosy family picnics.

"So what else do you know about me?"

She chewed a bite of scrambled eggs thoughtfully before responding.

"You're obsessed with the Problem. An obsession that made you an asset, initially."

She had heard that he was the one who had identified the visitor, Edmund Bickerstaff, but what she had had difficulty wrapping her head around was how he had managed to do it with only the vast yet imprecise volumes of the Archives at his disposal. Imagine what he could do with the carefully curated library at Fittes. She stared at him, trying to figure him out. There was a gentle breeze blowing and the slight movement made him look marginally more affable but not any more comprehensible. She let out the breath she was holding.

"You must have really screwed up for Fittes to have let you go."

He shrugged. "It was a long time coming. Fittes never really was the type of company I was interested in working at, and I was never the type of employee Fittes was interested in keeping."

"What about now? Have you ever considered leaving?"

"Why would I?"

"I've taken a glance at Lockwood & Co's financial records. You can't be making much, if anything at all."

"And go from being broke to being broke and homeless?"

"Homeless? What about your parents?"

"I visit them, occasionally, but they're a right piece of work. Last time I saw them was my grandmother's 77th birthday. I think there was a row but I can't be completely sure because I was a little, er, sloshed. The party ended, and I expect the champagne went flat, and my aunt was the last to leave. She was sitting on the floor with a merlot in her hand, and her voice was ringing through the halls. The curtains were burnt, my parents didn't talk to each other for a week, and one of my brothers had broken his hand. But I could never forget sitting in that empty dining hall, holding those sodden, scorched curtains, listening to her saying nothing lasts forever, nothing lasts forever."

The sunlight had a diffused quality to it, at least the little of it that managed to pour through the layer of clouds blocking the sky. The ashy light threw a powdery glow on George's face, and for a moment she felt as though she was in that dining hall with him, listening to those same laments. He glanced at her, and she felt a sudden, foreign uncertainty grip her heart.

"Now I feel really bad about lying."

His hand slipped, missing his mouth by a good couple of inches, nearly sending the contents of his glass down his shirt.

"Lie? What lie?"

"I kind of haven't, not really...actually spoken to any of your associates."

He chokes on his laughter, and when he throws his head back she wonders if she's ever seen anyone laugh as freely as him. It's a ridiculously enticing sight.

"Touché. Touché."

He looks at her in the eye, unabashed, with an unnaturally casual intensity. It almost feels impolite.

"So...yeah. Maybe I was suited to be a Fittes agent, once upon a time, but not anymore."

"That's a pity."

He looks at her weird, and she hastily changes the subject.

"Do you do this often?"

"What, taking strangers out for breakfast?"

"No. Bring a girl out here, feed her some strawberries and cream, maybe a Shakespearean sonnet or two..."

"I don't set much store in Shakespearean sonnets. I'm not...I'm not much of a poetry person."

There's something reserved in his face that makes her feel terrible for asking.

"I've really only read one worth remembering. Subtle bridges, you said, on bridges some men hang. Some ties won't give. I sometimes dream of you, and walking, in gardens where love and knowledge hang."

He bites into a strawberry, which stains his lips a bright red. She looks away a second too late.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After reluctantly agreeing to keep the matter of the stolen ghost jar between the two of them, she never expected to see him again. And yet, as fate would have it, they crossed paths again roughly a week later. She and one of her teammates had been assigned to a Church to handle a relatively weak Type Two, when she heard a scuffling sound from one of the rooms whose door was ajar. Her teammate froze, and she didn't feel much braver either. They approached the room cautiously, rapiers at the ready.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

"Y/N?"

The glare from their flashlights blindly darted over the room before it settled on the floor, illuminating a bleeding George looking the worse for wear, hissing at the harsh florescent light.. She visibly relaxed.

"Oh. You again."

Lockwood and Lucy exchanged a look.

"Do you two know each other?"

A silence followed. George looked to be at a loss of words and she, too, couldn't quite find the right answer.

"We've...met."

They helped George up while Lockwood smoothly explained the situation, and how they would never dream of intentionally From the derisive eye rolls of his remaining, uninjured associate, there was clearly more to their presence than he was letting on, but she wasn't paid nearly enough to go through the trouble of finding that out. Apparently, they had already dealt with the Type Two, so she filled out her report as vague as she dared to be, while they wandered out to flag down a cab.

George lingered behind briefly, dabbing at his nose experimentally while she put the finishing touches to her file.

"We can't keep meeting like this, you know."

"Like what?"

She shook her head, surprisingly having to bite back a smile. "You're incorrigible. If you keep sneaking around for much longer I'll have to report you one of these days."

He pulled his face into an exaggerated sulk and ducked as she tried to smack him with her case report.

"Alright, alright!"

True to his word, their less-than-ideal meetings came to an end. Instead, they continued to occasionally meet at that serene, refreshingly Edenic sloping hill. She'd return from a client meeting or from scoping out a location and the front desk would have a message waiting for her, from one vaguely snippy anonymous man. Sometimes he'd be waiting at the hill with snacks, which she'd ravenously dig into, though he was less generous on the biscuit front. He tells her about the happenings of 35 Portland Row and his research and bounces his latest theory on the origins of the Problem off of her. She tells him about her week, and the bothersome, inept people she works with, and on their joint cases he's snarky towards all the right people. It makes her feel special.

On one such evening, they were lazing on a picnic blanket, and a pleasantly warm breeze was toying with their hair. George was looking at the severe, fragile branches encroaching on the powdery blue sky through heavily-lidded eyes. She was absent-mindedly fiddling with his surprisingly soft fingers, distractedly breathing in the faint, antiseptic smell of ammonia that clung to his clothes. She was thinking about how sharp he was and how quickly he picked up on details on their joint cases. No matter how many times she saw him pick apart a case with a carefully perfected elegance, she felt like a part of her would forever be in awe of his beautifully intricate mind.

"Sometimes I feel like your talents are so wasted here. Imagine what you could do with access to all of Fittes' resources."

"i don't need Fittes's resources to be a good researcher."

She watches the yellow daffodils tossing their heads back just inches in front of them through her eyelashes.

"i know you don't. It can't hurt, is all I'm saying."

"Why do you care?"

She paused. Why did she care? She cared about him, sure, but it was no different from how she cared about her teammates, her friends, but with George...it somehow felt more personal. She sighs irritably, releasing the bubble of frustration lodged in her throat all week. She just wanted what was best for him. It takes her a minute to come up with her hesitant response.

"I...don't know. I don't care. But sometimes I can't help but wonder...what if this was what you needed to uncover the root of the Problem?"

He half-laughs, but stops short at the sight of her face as she lifts her head off his chest. "You can't be serious."

"Why not?"

"Y/N...statistically speaking -"

"All I'm saying is the answer could very well be in the Fittes library and you might be the only one who'd know where to look."

She lies down again, and whispers to the trees rather than George.

"Just...something to think about."

As time went on, their relationship began to bleed into more public spheres. She dropped by Portland Row occasionally, and they even had tea at her apartment once. On this particular afternoon, they were in George's room at Portland Row. She was looking through the titles on his alarmingly tall bookcases while he was at his desk, copying some runes from a book while telling her about his latest experiment with the skull. Her eyes roved over the titles restlessly, unseeingly, in a futile attempt to distract herself from her upcoming assignment. She let George's voice wash over her, pleasingly varied in tone and comfortingly familiar, soothing the itch in her brain. After a moment or two, she realises he's stopped talking, and looks up to see him staring at her with a frown on his face.

"Er, sorry. Drifted off there for a while."

"I guessed."

He studies her with an inscrutable expression and she's been caught too off-guard to come up with anything other than the letter burning a hole in her desk.

"You alright?"

She sits on a chair next to his and rests her chin on her knee, feeling oddly wooden. After getting to know George, she had taken the comfort of being able to somewhat predict his mannerisms for granted, and the thought of heading into this blind made her nervous.

"My team's been assigned a case outside of London."

"Oh. When?"

"We leave this weekend."

He looks too stunned to ask the question weighing on both their minds.

"It's for a month."

"A month," he echoes distantly, as if not quite sure what to make of that piece of information. His face remains impassive and she waits for a reaction which never comes. "What about that celebratory dinner?"

"We leave after it."

"Oh."

For someone who usually always had so much to say about anything and everything, his current conversational skills were desperately wanting. Say something. Be affected, she begs internally. She needs to hear him say it. She needs the sickness in her chest to be real, to be founded.

"It'll be...different without you." The careful look on his face makes her feel like he's picking out her emotions from her face and engineering an optimal response. "I'll miss you."

It doesn't comfort her in the way she expected it would. Suddenly, she can't even bear to look at him.

"You don't have to."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Either George had decided that she needed some space or he was just as pissed as she was, because she didn't see one sign of him over the next few days. Good. She hardly noticed. The thousand times a day he crossed her mind were only out of relief, and nothing else. But as much as she pretended otherwise, by the time the celebratory dinner rolled around, his absence had taken a toll on her. She couldn't tell if she was hoping or dreading seeing him again.

She was on a balcony on the upper floor, looking miserably into the radiant foliage of the gardens below, where unfamiliar faces flitted with a lightness of heart she envied. Their shadows are tall and intertwine ceaselessly, making her dizzy. Her bags were packed, her ticket was waiting on her mantle, and all loose ends were tied up. Even her one chance at happiness for the rest of her life.

There's a rustle behind her and she turns to see George standing a considerable distance away from her. He's only marginally closer than the first time they met, properly, when he was standing outside their front door and she was pacing behind the garden gate. She wants to cry in relief. Instead, she finds it in her not to look away. Maybe it's the confusing lighting, but there's a soft edge to his face.

"I thought I saw you come up here."

She doesn't say anything; she's too happy to. And yet, a part of her is still deeply unhappy with the sight in front of her.

"Have you...tried the food?"

"...it's not as good as yours."

"You must be leaving soon."

"Tomorrow." The thought makes her want to rip her face off.

"You'll be back in a month."

She drummed her fingernails against the marble railing, carefully choosing her words.

"What if things change in a month?" What if, she wanted to say, you meet someone else who loves you better than I can?

"It's only a month."

"A whole month."

"I don't understand. Why are you so afraid?"

"Because - because you'd forget me. You'd forget me, and our memories would sink six feet under, and you'd move on and my heart would break and...you wouldn't care."

She's never felt this way about anyone before, and she doesn't know how to express how badly she needs him to stay.

"I don't want to go back to not knowing you, George."

The setting sun burns into her neck and all of a sudden, she feels unbearably hot. Her hair is plastered to her forehead and her hands feel clammy. Her face is flushed and she feels ridiculous in her dress. But he's here, and she's said it, so she lets herself dream, if only for a moment.q

"I think about you every day. One month, two months, three months...I'll wait."

TAGLIST: @avdiobliss @dangelnleif @elenianag080 @mitskiswift99 @mischivana @houseoftwistedspirits

#lockwood & co #lockwood and co #lockwood and co netflix #fanfiction #fanfic #george karim x reader #george karim imagine #george karim x you #george karim x y/n #taylor swift #wildest dreams #1989 tv #1989 era #1989 taylor's version #1989 #taylor swift 1989

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seriesxwriting · 2 years ago

Note

I have a request for rafe!!

basically reader was in a toxic relationship before rafe and still don’t know how to act bc he’s good to her?? like she asks if he’s ok with her clothes and if she can use one specifically bikini … rafe just notice theses things and ask her why she always do that and if he did something for her to feel that way and she tells him everything ( english is not my first language so I’m sorry if it’s confusing)

Omgg!! Thank you so much for this request i love your idea and i hope i can capture it in my writing how you imagined it!! (also your English is really good, don’t worry <3)

Forhead kisses

W rafe cameron

Series- outer banks

Warnings- talks about a previous toxic relationship, kissing, swearing, mentions of fighting.

Summary- request ❤️

Phone call-

Rafe-“Hey gorgeous im outside, are you ready?”

Y/n-“Um- no not really im so sorry, could you come in please i need to ask you something?”

Rafe- “Don’t apologise hun, ill be up in a second”

Y/n- “Thank you rafe- ill see you in a sec”

Rafe stopped the engine on his jeep and stepped out going towards my house, walking up the brick steps. He let himself in as my parents weren’t in and came straight up to my room where i was waiting for him.

“Morning gorgeous” he smiled pushing the door open and walking over to me. “Hey handsome” i smiled brightly feeling Rafe embrace me in his arms, he placed a soft kiss on the top of my forehead. I loved when he did that, i felt so safe. “What did you need to ask me” he wondered taking a place on my bed hugging one of my pillows, while watching over at me standing in front of the mirror.

“Can i wear this today like- like what do you think of this- is it okay?” I stuttered awkwardly, turning my body towards him. “You look amazing hun like always, you can wear whatever you feel comfortable in” rafe gave up a simple smile. He was so cute. “Really? -I really like this bikini I brought it last year but i haven’t worn it yet” “i like it, red suits you”.

“Thank you- let me grab some shorts and then we can get a move on” i smiled feeling all warm inside. Rafe did that to me. I collected my things for the beach and we left the house getting into the car. Rafe opened the car door for me, my stomach felt like butterflies were fluttering around in a frenzy anytime rafe did something like that for me. It was just so thoughtful, I wasn’t used to the princess treatment.

“I also wanted to apologise for not texting you back last night” i looked over at him sitting in the drivers seat he was concentrating hard on the roads. “You’ve already done that hun, its okay you were with family i get it” “so you wasn’t angry I didn’t text you all night?” I questioned biting my lip. “Well i missed you but of course not, you were busy your allowed to have a life” rafe moved his hand to my thigh rubbing it softly with his thumb.

“Rafe” i voiced lowly after he’d finished parking up the car, he looked over at me staring into my eyes. “I love you” i placed my hand on top of his. “I love you too” he smiled across to me moving over to kiss my forehead again. There were them damn butterflies again.

Seems my parents were away with family today therefore me and rafe had planned to spend it together by going to the beach first and then out on a date when it got dark. The whole thing was Rafe’s idea I would have just suggested watching films all day in my bed. He got out the car picking up both our bags on the way. Then we made our way down to the sand. We laid our towels down leaving our stuff there and spontaneously ran into the big blue sea splashing about with each other like children.

“Oh my god Rafe! i cant believe you just soaked my hair like that” i giggled splashing him back with all my force. “You splashed me first” he laughed swimming towards me, i swam away best I could in fits of laughter but of course the boy caught me pulling me towards him. My legs wrapped around his waist and my arms, his neck. “Got you” he whispered pecking me on the lips. “Hm, im okay with it” i shrugged leaning in to kiss him softly.

One of his hands was fastened to my waist while the other move to my cheek. “So, where do you want to eat later?” Rafe smiled pulling away to ask his question. “We don’t have to go out if its too much hassle we can get a takeaway, your staying around anyway” “making you happy isnt a hassle y/n, besides i want to take you out”. I smiled an involuntary smile, i couldn’t help it he just made me feel so content.

“I was thinking the high cotton in Charleston, i’ll drive” “thats fancy” I smirked raising an eyebrow. “Have you been?” “no but my parents went for their anniversary, apparently its hard to get a reservation” “Not if your friends with the owner” rafe winked making me chuckle. “Sounds perfect, i cant wait” “me too, cant wait to see your outfit” Rafe wiggled his eyebrows at me.

My heart dropped. Shit what was i going to wear. It was a fancy restaurant so I couldn’t be under dressed and i had to look sensible too. I had to cover up a bit so I looked modest but i wanted to look good too. And rafe has to like the outfit obviously, he had to approve first.

“Come on, lets go get dry so we can pick up an ice cream” rafe nodded at the shore. “Only if i can choose the place” I bargained with him. “What ever you want beautiful” rafe told me shrugging.

Later on that evening-

“Y/n, hun are you alright you’ve been in there for like half an hour” rafe knocked on my walk-in wardrobe door. “Um- yeah, two seconds” i called out to my boyfriend while looking in my mirror fluffing my hair out over my shoulders. I opened the door, Rafe was standing at my dresser wearing a suit, he turned around to look at me. His eyes automatically widened.

“Can i wear this dress? Does it look okay” “sit down gorgeous” rafe nodded at the bed, my heart dropped with fear but still i did as he said. Rafe wondered over, perching next to me. “You look stunning, your perfect everything about you is” rafe told me looking into my eyes.

“Be honest, h- have i done something to make you think your not?” He asked me softly “what! No rafe- not at all you treat my like im an actual princess” i smiled weakly knowing what was coming.

“You can wear what ever you want, you know that right? You don’t have to get my permission i would never tell you that you cant- ill never be angry if you don’t text be because your busy” rafe took my hand rubbing his soft thumb across it. “Its not you rafe-its me” i looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

“Whatever’s bothering you, you can talk to me I’ll always listen to you, i love you y/n” “I want to tell you- but im so scared you’ll think im being stupid” “stupid would be the last thing id associate you with” he shook his head vigorously.

“Before you- before i even knew you i was dating this guy, he was like the complete opposite of you he was mean and selfish and he didn’t trust me and i was so blind to it all back then” i half laughed while wiping a tear away. “He would tell me I couldn’t wear things like- um the red bikini i wore today because I looked too fat or- or he’d get piss at me if other boys looked at me, or if I didn’t text him back, when he got angry he would just- degrade me”

“He called me stupid and ugly and shallow- and other awful words rafe and i still stayed with him because i was so fucking blind even though it hurt me every time. I didn’t think i was really effected after we broke up but when i got into a relationship with you i didn’t know how to act, i just became scared that I wasn’t good enough i just wanted to make sure that you were happy because I can’t lose you and I couldn’t go through that again” i ranted completely crying my eyes out now. Rafe opened his mouth but I needed to say one more thing.

“I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to think i was comparing you to him because im not I promise, i think i just have some major trauma” i laughed at the end to help myself feel better.

Out of nowhere rafe leaned in to hug me. And i just broke down even more, crying on his broadshoulder. “Im so sorry you went through that” he whispered in my ear, his hand held my head safely in his shoulder. “You don’t deserve that y/n your beautiful and your body is perfect, you light up any room you walk into and if he couldn’t see all of that in you then he didn’t deserve you” rafe told me.

My crying slowly came to a stop and i dried my eyes looking back at his face now. “You don’t need to be sorry rafe” i shook my head. “You make me feel special every day, you make me feel loved and like im enough, you make me feel happy but most of all you make me feel safe” i raised my hand to his face.

“I mean i didn’t even know what a forehead kiss was until i met you- there my favourite” i confessed laughing quietly. “Its not your fault you know that right, some people just aren’t brought up right- how someone could do that to someone as bright as you i don’t understand” he told me softly.

“Your feeling are valid and i will help you get over this because you are enough y/n. And i will never ever treat you like that, whatever happens” rafe shook his head “i love you rafe, so much” “i love you too y/n, so much” he smiled pulling me close to kiss my forehead. He knew now.

“What was his name” rafe asked me after a few seconds. “No rafe” i shook my head smirking, knowing exactly what he was getting at. “y/n what was his name” rafe asked me again seriously. “It doesn’t matter” “of course it matters he cant get away with talking to you like that, putting you through that toxicity”

“It doesn’t Because he’s my past and your my future i don’t want to remember him or anything that happened” “fine, you don’t have to tell me but if we run into him or if he sends you once little message even if he fucking likes your insta photo i will kick the shit out of him” rafe told me with closed fists and no hint of a joke. He wasn’t joking i knew he wasn’t. “Okay” i nodded rubbing his cheek trying to calm him down.

“Im so glad that weights lifted and we’ve spoken through it” “so am i hun, so am i” rafe held the hand that was on his face.

“Do you still want to go out? We can still get that take away” “no way I didn’t dress up this hot to just take it off again” i shook my head smirking standing up now. “Thats the spirit” rafe joined me standing now. “You sure your okay?” He checked once more.

“Of course i am im with you, im safe”.

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moonlightdancer26 · 8 months ago

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HELLO!!! okay so i’ve recently gotten my severus obsession back and i’ve been writing fics nonstop lol, i was wondering if you could give me some constructive criticism on this fic im planning to publish about eileen and severus accidentally on purpose killing tobias and fleeing to greece.

this is the first part of it

P.S trigger warning for some religious imagery and abuse

ONCE UPON A TIME, when the marks on his back were still fresh, Severus had told himself that he was growing wings.

After all, his mother thought he was an angel, even if his father said he had the devil in him. Severus had never done anything to make his father think that, but the man claimed he could see the shadow in the boy’s eyes. And whenever he caught a glimpse of it, he’d take Severus by the arm and lead him out to the private chapel that sat beside their clapboard house.

Severus used to love the little chapel—it had the prettiest picture window, all red and blue and green stained glass, facing east so it caught the morning light. The floor was made of stone—cold beneath Severus's bare feet, even in summer—and there in the center of the room lay a metal cross, driven straight down into the foundation.

Severus remembered thinking it seemed violent, the way the cross broke and split the floor, as if thrown from a horrible height. The first time his father saw the shadow, he had kept one hand on Severus's shoulder as they walked, the other clutching a coiled leather strap.

Severus's mother watched them go, laid in her own pool of blood. “Tobias,” she had whispered shakily, just once, her own body tattered in violet, blues, greens and reds, but Severus's father didn’t look back, didn’t stop until they’d crossed the narrow lawn and the chapel door had fallen shut behind them. Tobias had told Severus to go to the cross and hold on to the horizontal bar, and at first Severus had refused, sobbing, pleading, trying to apologize for whatever he’d done.

But it didn’t help.

His father tied Severus's hands in place, and beat him worse for his defiance.

Severus had been nine years old.

Later that night, his mother had treated the angry lash-marks on his back, and told him that he had to be strong. That Magic tested them, and so did his father. Her sleeves had inched up as she draped cool strips of cloth over her son’s wounded shoulders, and Severus could just see the edges of old scars on the backs of her arms painted over by the newest ones as she told him it would be okay, told him it would get better.

And for a little while, it always did.

Severus would do everything he could to be good, to be worthy. To not let the magic, the darkness, inside him out. He did everything to avoid his angry father’s gaze.

But the calm never lasted.

Sooner or later, his father would glimpse the magic in his son again, see the darkness pooling in those unnatural black eyes of his, and lead Severus back to the chapel. Sometimes the beatings were months apart. Sometimes days.

Sometimes Severus thought he deserved it. Needed it, even. He would step up to the cross, and curl his fingers around the cold metal cross, and pray—not to God, not to Magic, not at first, but to his father.

He prayed that his father would stop seeing whatever he saw, while he carved new feathers into the torn wings of Severus's back. Severus learned not to scream, not to let his magic lash out, but his eyes would still blur with tears, the colors in the stained glass running together until all he saw was light.

He held on to that, as much as to the steel cross beneath his fingers.

Severus would chant the words his mother taught him, to silence his mind and block out the pain.

Nothing is good or bad without first being determined so by the mind.

Pain cannot touch the mind.

Fear is subservient to the mind.

No wall can imprison the mind.

The body is the vessel and the anchor of the mind.

The mind is both one and multiple.

The mind has many rooms.

Memories half-forgotten and secrets long locked away.

In these natural protective barriers lies the power of the Occlumens.

The Occlumens must divide himself from his weaknesses.

The Occlumens must divide himself from unfulfilled desires.

The Occlumens must not permit a thought that could become a weapon to his enemy.

The Occlumens must place his trust in the strength of his mind.

A scarred mind is a protected mind.

Severus could never truly understand how he was broken, but he wanted to be healed.

If it meant that he would never have to endure such pain again.

He wanted to be saved.

And at last, his liberation came in the form of his father's lifeless eyes.

I’m so insanely and horrifyingly sleep-deprived and I’m on the brink of dying from exhaustion (this is a draft so now I’m in a much better state 😭) but AHAHHSHDJEHRJXKWKNRKFKSD I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE BACK !!!!!!! I MISSED YOU SMMMM I REMEMBER BEING HEARTBROKEN WHEN I REALISED I COULDN’T FIND YOUR ACCOUNT. Welcome back to the Snapedom 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

also WOW I literally read this with half-opened eyes and I still got chills all over my body 😭 I knew you were a great writer but DAMN. plus I LOVE fanfics where Tobias is a religious fanatic and considers witchcraft to be a sin, and he takes it out on Severus. It’s scarily realistic and it very much gives me Claude Frollo and Quasimodo/Esmeralda vibes. I love when people include these kind of themes in their stories/fanfics, so props for that! I genuinely don’t think I have any criticism to give you, I legit got chills all over my body as I was reading this. I think it’s a great idea and I enjoy the details you’ve added. I am not bluffing when I say you have EXTREME potential. If you publish any of your fics, I want you to RUSH to my inbox or DMs as soon as humanly possible 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Again, so glad you’re back!! Your writing is spectacular as per usual 🩷🩷🩷

#severus snape #pro snape #pro severus snape #snape #harry potter #hp #ask #asks

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psych0-str1ngs · 1 year ago

Text

Izzy Stradlin x reader- Kids

Authors note: I think this request was a great idea, so im getting on right quick, so anon, when you see this i hope you enjoy it!!!!

Warnings: not many just crying and kind of sad topics.

You were laying down in bed, reading a romance novel, particularly a chapter where kids were involved. You had always wanted a kid, that was for sure, and you knew that you wanted a kid with Izzy. You and Izzy had been dating for quite awhile now, so you thought it was time to mention kids to him. The idea of having a little one running around the house warmed your heart, you couldnt even count how many nights you day dreamed about seeing Izzy holding your baby, or seeing him teaching your kid how to play guitar.

It plagued your mind completely. You felt ready, and you thought he was too. You hear the door open and run downstairs to greet your boyfriend.

“Izzy!!” You giggled running up to him and hugging him.

“Hi sweetheart,” He smiled brightly at you.

“How was work?” You asked, staring up at him with a sweet smile.

“Stressful,” he sighed. “But its okay cuz im home now”

I nod and kiss his lips.

“I have something to talk about when you’re ready,” You said quietly.

“Let me take a shower then we can talk yeah?” He responded, pushing a stray piece of hair from your soft face.

“Of course,” you smiled and sat down on the couch watching Izzy walk up the stairs and to your shared bathroom.

Your legs shook, as you zoned out, slightly nervous. Zoning out you stared at the floor, not even realizing how much time was passing. Izzy’s heavy footsteps broke you out of your hypnotic state and you looked at his wet hair, smiling at how untamed it looked.

“Hi honey,” you said, playing with the gold ring on your middle finger.

“Hi babe,” He sat down next to you on the long couch. “What’d you wanna talk about it”

“Well,” I turned to face him. “You know how we’ve been together for pretty long”

He nodded in response, his dark eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“I…” you trailed off, being way more nervous than anticipated. “I want to start thinking about having kids?”

His smile dropped, and he looked at me.

“Kids?” He said quietly. “I uh”

Your heart had dropped to your stomach. “Y-yeah kids”

“I don’t know Y/n,” he started.

“You dont want kids?” You stood up, sounding hurt.

“No no its not that I just” he started, you cut him off.

“Are you serious?” Your eyes welled up. “You really dont want kids with me?”

He stood up

“I do!” He stopped for a second. “I dont? I dont know y/n.”

A tear rolled down your cheek.

“I thought you loved me,” you bottom lip quivered as you spoke.

“I do y/n” He grabbed at your hands, looking offended when you pulled them away.

“Then why wont you think about it” you snapped.

“Because we’re so young y/n! I mean, we’d make horrible parents,” He said, getting just a little bit louder.

“You dont even know that!” You yelled at him. “I cant believe you’d say that Jeffrey.”

He looked sad, and confused, he looked angry, but not at you. He sighed.

“I gotta go,” He said turning on his heel and grabbing his car keys.

“Wow,” you said. “Real mature izz, real mature”

“Whatever,” He slammed the door shut.

You ran up to your bedroom and slammed the door before sitting on your bed and sobbing your eyes out.

Meanwhile, Izzy was driving to his bandmates house, Steven. If anybody had romance advice it’d definitely be him. Izzy turned into Steven’s drive way before walking up the doorbell and ringing it.

“Dude hey!” Steven said, opening the door immediately.

“I need advice,” Izz looked at him sadly.

“Oh come in,” He said confused, walking to the couch. “Whats up?”

Izzy looked down at the floor before speaking.

“Y/n told me she wants kids,” He started.

“Anddd?” Steven sat with his fist pressed against his head, holding it up. “What’d you tell her?”

“I told her i didnt know,” Izzy looked down at the floor again. “Its not that I dont want kids, and its not that I dont want kids with HER. Im just so terrified of being a bad father you know?”

Steven nodded, intently listening.

“I’d love to see you/n as a mother to my children, god she’d be amazing at it. But the last thing I want is to ruin her and our kids life. You know what if the band goes on more tours and U have to leave for extended periods? Or what if i slip up and drink too much. Im so scared of hurting her or our future kids”

“Well first of all, you can always bring them with us, and secondly, you’d be a great dad, and besides, do you really think she’d mad for one tiny mistake? I mean dude have you seen the way she looks at you?” Steven replied.

“I’ve noticed, and I really adore her. Im just… totally scared” Izzy sighed.

“Have you told her that man?” He asked, looking at Izz.

“I dont want her to judge me,” He shook his head.

“Trust me, i dont think theres a single ounce in that woman that could judge you.” Steven laughed, patting his shoulder. “Go home and try again”

“Yeah yeah you’re right man,” izzy got up. “Thanks I really own you one dude.”

“You sure do,” Steven walked Izzy to the door.

They said their goodbyes and Izzy left for home.

—-

You lied your shared bed. You had put your hair up, mascara staining your cheeks, your nose was seven shaded of red. You had been crying the whole time Izzy was gone. The nights events’ replaying continuously replaying in your head.

You heard the front door open and close, but chose to ignore it, simply rolling over and facing the wall away from the bedroom door.

“Honey?” Izzy’s soft voice spoke out.

“Fuck off,” you said, curling into a ball.

Izzy opened the door and sat behind you, removing his shoes before laying down and turning to face your back. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck. You pulled away lightly.

“Can we please talk?” He asked quietly, his strong hand on her shoulder.

You turned around and sat up, sitting in front of Izzy.

“What.” You said.

“Im really sorry,” He looked deep into your eyes. “The last thing I wanted was to hurt you, you mean the world to me. Truth is i’ve always wanted kids with you, it’d warm my heart so much to see you pregnant with our baby, and stuff. Im just so scared of messing it up”

Your eyes softened as your right hand reached out to his face.

“What do you mean?” You pouted. “You’d make an amazing dad.”

“What if i have to go on tour? Or if i drink too much, i dont want to make any mistakes and hurt your or our child.” His eyes slightly turned red. “I love way too much to let that happen”

“Never in a million years would I think you’d hurt me or our future kid. It’d make me so happy to see you as a dad, you be amazing at it. I think you’re the perfect guy, and making mistakes is okay, especially as first time parents,” Your hand stroked his cheek.

“I want to try y/n” He spoke.

“Really?” Your eyes widened.

“Yes,” his eyes found yours.

You jumped on him and pushed him down to the mattress, pressing soft kisses all over his face.

“I love you izz,” you looked down at him. “A lot, no matter what”

“I love you too y/n” His eyes sparkled up at you.

#izzy stradlin imagine #izzy stradlin x reader #izzy stradlin #izzy gnr #guns n roses imagines #guns n roses fic

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