#these are so fucking bad but i wanted to draw him so bad

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

part one

“so how was your first day?” robin asks steve as he slides onto the barstool next to her and chrissy.

“it actually wasn’t that bad,” steve shrugs before taking a long pull from the freshly opened bottle the bartender slides his way.

“it wasn’t that bad?” chrissy asks, incredulous. “so he didn’t make you go to the erewhon all the way across town? the one he goes to because selena gomez was seen there once?”

“that’s why he made me go there?”

“yeah, he really likes that one movie she’s in.”

steve thinks for a moment. “the dead don’t die?”

“no, the one with the dancing,” chrissy snorts.

steve makes a face and then shrugs again. “i made him his breakfast, i drove him around, i organized his tshirt closet… pretty standard stuff for an assistant.”

“you organized his tshirt closet? what the fuck does that even mean?” robin asks, laughing.

“exactly what it sounds like,” steve grins at her. “anyway, really, it wasn’t that bad. sure, he’s insufferable but not anything i couldn’t handle. don’t worry about it.”

“well, thanks for doing this,” chrissy says. “vickie handled it for a while, but i guess once you’ve been fired twelve times in the course of six months, you have to draw a boundary with the thirteenth.”

“it’s really not a big deal, it’s not like i’m doing it for free,” steve responds. “the money is more than worth it.”

“still, i know how he can be. but he’s really not so bad. once he’s… comfortable.” chrissy frowns.

“whatever,” steve shrugs for a third time. “i’m just here for the cash.” he winks and gives her a reassuring smile.

~*~

the next morning, steve pulls up to eddie’s huge beverly hills mansion bright and early, just as he had yesterday. he punches in the gate code, waves to the security guy on duty, and makes his way inside to the kitchen.

eddie storms in while steve is halfway through cooking another omelette, this time with tomatoes and onions and freshly grated cheddar cheese.

“i don’t care, wheeler, i’m not making a fucking appearance and i’m definitely not doing it with him,” eddie snarls into the phone pressed to his face. he hasn’t seemed to notice that steve’s in his house again.

eddie waits for whoever it is on the phone to speak before he says, “well maybe i don’t want to fix it. maybe this is it,” and then hangs up the phone. he lets out a frustrated little scream before he turns to leave the kitchen, finally noticing steve by the stove. “you’re back,” he says, voice monotone.

“i’m back,” steve smiles, sliding the plate full of food across the large island toward him. eddie looks down at it like he’s surprised. “eat,” steve tells him.

“another sweater vest?” eddie sneers instead of picking up his fork.

“i like them,” steve shrugs, still smiling.

eddie rolls his eyes. “whatever,” he mutters and then picks up the plate and retreats from the kitchen.

~*~

eddie is deeply annoyed by how good steve’s omelettes are. he practically licks the plate clean when he’s finished, which only serves to make his bad mood worse.

“can i take your plate?” steve asks from the doorway of the living room.

“jesus christ, man, wear a fucking bell,” eddie grumbles before holding out the plate, forcing steve to walk across the room to the couch and take it from him.

“i’ll remember to announce myself from now on,” steve replies. “chrissy just called; you have another meeting with the pr team this afternoon. we’ll leave here in about an hour.”

eddie doesn’t respond and steve goes quietly back to the kitchen.

~*~

eddie tries to confuse steve with the directions to nancy’s office again, mostly just to annoy him since the car has a built in gps. steve ignores eddie, leaving him to play on his phone in the back seat. the windows are tinted dark, just how eddie likes it & it lulls him into a false sense of security to where he’s almost relaxed by the time they get to nancy’s office.

the meeting is a fucking drag. it’s just a rehashing of the morning’s phone call and eddie had already made himself perfectly clear. he’s not willing to fix anything. nancy and chrissy try to double-team him, begging him to think about the tour & the album roll-out & the rest of the band. the entertainment blogs are running wild with the rumors circulating about the other night and now they’re digging up shit that he wishes would stay buried.

“absolutely fucking not,” eddie spits out. “i refuse to be fucking cordial with that moron.”

“fine,” nancy says finally. “i guess we’re done here then.” she gets up from the head of the conference room table and leaves through the big glass doors and the rest of her team takes that as their cue to leave, too.

chrissy levels him with a look, waiting until the last intern has left the room before speaking.

“eddie, i know you’re pissed right now. trust me, i would be too,” she says, using that tone eddie always hates—the one that makes it sound like she’s trying to placate a rabid dog. “but the label has invested a lot of money into you and they need you to put in some work right now. take a minute, take a breath, and then we’ll talk again. but we need to respond; we can figure out what that looks like. i’ll talk to nance… maybe we don’t need a joint appearance. maybe you can just make a statement.”

eddie knows there are a ton of people relying on this tour & this upcoming album. he knows the band doesn’t deserve the hit from this. but what is there to even say? he’s just so fucking angry about it.

“fine. i’ll make an appearance. but i won’t, under any circumstances, be seen with him,” eddie tells her firmly. he slides his sunglasses back onto his face before pushing himself out of his chair and making his way over to the door. “just tell me when and where. and make sure nancy doesn’t make me sound like a fucking idiot.”

“great,” chrissy smiles so bright she looks like a teenager again. “i’ll talk to nancy. we’ll figure it out.”

any reassurance eddie feels is washed away by a renewed sense of annoyance when he sees steve waiting for him in the lobby, still wearing his pastel yellow sweater vest, drinking a purple smoothie from a straw and scrolling on his phone. he’s laughing at something on the screen and the sunlight comes through the huge front windows just right, making him glow golden, and eddie just feels something inside him twist unpleasantly.

steve looks up then to see eddie coming, but eddie breezes past him to the sidewalk. steve jumps up to follow, handing the valet their ticket. when the car finally pulls up, eddie says, “no liquids in the car,” before sliding into the back seat.

he sees steve shrug before smiling at the valet and handing him his half empty smoothie to dispose of and a tip.

the car ride home is silent. eddie practically leaps from the car before it’s even come to a stop when they pull into the driveway. there are packages on the table in the foyer, likely brought in by the security guy at the gate. “grab those,” eddie tells steve with a wave of his hand.

steve follows eddie into the kitchen, arms laden with paper bags and boxes. most of it, eddie knows, is free product and merch, stuff he never uses and mostly stuff he doesn’t even want. steve places the packages on the counter and watches as eddie sifts through them, clearly looking for something.

“do you want lunch?” steve asks. eddie ignores him, finally finding the package he’d ordered earlier today. he flings it across the kitchen island toward steve on the other side.

steve catches the package in his hands and arches an eyebrow.

“open it,” eddie tells him, nodding at paper wrapping. he opens the fridge to pull out a bottle of water and takes a long sip as he watches steve’s fingers tear at the brown paper.

once the package is open, steve huffs out a laugh, barely a breath, before holding up a bright pink cat collar with a tiny bell attached. he shakes it in the air, making the bell tinkle. the collar clearly will not fit him.

“fuck you, man,” steve says, still smiling.

“fuck you, too,” eddie says.

and then he leaves the kitchen.

[gub-bins]

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PAY ANY MONEY TO SEE SPACE BABY.

YOU HAVE TO PAY MONEY IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT EARLY, ALL AT ONCE, WITH THE CREATOR TALKBACK. THIS IS A STARKID BUSINESS MODEL THAT HAS EXISTED SINCE 2014, IT IS NOT "BEHIND A SECOND PAYWALL", IT IS A WAY TO GIVE A LITTLE EXTRA MONEY TO THE ARTISTS WHO WORKED ON THE SHOW KNOWING FULL WELL THAT IT IS AN EXPERIMENTAL PILOT AND COULD FLOP.

anyways. hi this is my rant blog so here's the rant

tldr: starkid needs a social media manager, they don't make the youtube residuals or ticket sales profit you think they do, chicago and la are great places to do theatre due to the audiences they draw but they are SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE, capitalism is rotting this country from the inside out and starkid knows this better than anyone

first and foremost:

curt mega is not a legal representative of starkid and he is entirely within his rights to defend misconceptions about the art he makes. he is so respectful to the fandom on here, even apologizing to the confessions blog after accidentally following them because he wants fans to have a safe space where they don't feel like they're being monitored by someone from the company. there is nothing wrong with him trying to assuage people's fears about the show. debunk whatever you want my dude (including if i say anything wrong in this post!)

i am not, under any circumstances, a blind defender of starkid. they've made choices that i do not enjoy in the 15 years that i've been watching them. like i say in this post, i think fans need more notice than a week if there is going to be a livestream we have* to pay money for. i would like a musical that is composed by someone other than jeff or clark. i wish the black friday deluxe download had the digital ticket in it. i wish jangle ball could've come to the actual southeast rather than claiming to be coming to the east coast then hanging out in new york (but as you'll see, that would've cost MONEYYYY). you will notice that these are nitpicky personal grievances. that's the point. im not gonna shell out completely for a group of white guys in LA, no matter how autistic i am about the musicals they make.

as someone who also donated to starkid returns and has also been disappointed to see how long it's taken for this stuff to get off the ground (I absolutely loved cinderella's castle but i would not have minded waiting for it if it meant we got space baby sooner or sissy/ttip. i want to see/read Sissy SO FUCKING BAD)

but think about it. starkid returns made $386,000. a weeklong rental of the El Portal Theatre costs $12,000. so for two weeks of tech thats $24,000. the two weekends of performances were $6,000-7,500 each. it's $7500 per shoot day for a film production. already, that's almost $50,000. Now think about renting film equipment, making costumes, sets, props, paying the cast, crew, theatre technicians, house management, REHEARSAL SPACE RENTAL, we don't know if any of the actors had to be housed in LA while they were working on the show, not to mention getting merch made (FUCKING EXPENSIVE). And that's just on Nerdy Prudes. They also had an entire fucking national tour to fund. i ain't doin the math on every theatre they rented for that tho.

while the 10iversary kickstarter made about $547,000, considerably more than SK Returns, that money went into funding the travel and stay of the fuck ton of people who came to LA for the show, renting the Ace Hotel Theatre, funding Black Friday, and of course the unfathomably expensive Wiggly plushes, which were very kindly restocked what, three or four times? because the FANS kept begging for them. and then after all of that was said and done, the company took a huge hit with the pandemic. Some of the SK returns money probably went into making Workin' Boys too! That's what happens when a global pandemic shuts down all your plans for two years!

i was also surprised to hear that space baby wasn't going straight to youtube. I had it in my mind that it was going to be something similar to Movies, Musicals, and Me. I see now that I was incorrect. It's experimental. It involves SO MANY ACTORS. and not to mention starkid has been doing the digital ticket prior to youtube release thing for YEARS. my main thing is that i would be totally totally fine with having to buy another ticket for space baby (which is only $10 by the way, less than all of their other digital tickets. not to mention it includes the talkback afterwards) if they had only clarified it just a little bit earlier. Nightmare Time 2 was announced on October 8th, 2021 and the first ticketed livestream wasn't until the 23rd. that's two weeks, a whole week longer than we got for space baby. however, im willing to understand that there probably wasn't as much time to announce things/people have been a little bit scrambled lately due to, i dunno, having to evacuate due to the raging wildfire.

unfortunately, people aren't always going to understand that making art is fucking expensive in this day and age. i hate that starkid has to keep reiterating that but it might be smoother if they had a media trained person running the socials who had a prewritten explanation of "making stuff costs money" for the people who don't get it. and then when starkid DOES do stuff for cheap they get taken advantage of. i'm still not over those fuckwads who bought meredith's beautiful handmade coasters at VHSCC and upsold them for three times as much money. the people who bootlegged the black friday digital ticket and posted it online just cause they didn't want to wait the measly 3 months it took for the show to get posted online.

being angry when the person who made the show is looking at the tumblr tag for the show because he wants to see what people are saying about the show he made comes thru to clarify some misconceptions when the tumblr tag is full of people not understanding the starkid business model that's been around since 2014 is not the move. not the move!!!

[tkomptgoedluv]

girl with one eye.

icantbelieveiletyougetaway pt.4

pt.1 here | pt.2 here | pt.3 here | pt.4

joost klein x f! reader

tags: dead dove do not eat, f! reader, non-famous! reader, reader is finally seeing a therapist, established relationship, they’re so so in love i wanna cry, reader just wants a good night sleep, joost just wants to help, a loootttttt of hurt, maybe too much of comfort, all characters are dutch and speak in dutch but dialogue is written in english for obvious reasons.

word count: 2,833.

warnings: very detailed descriptions of SA, very brief allusion to drugging, semi-vague descriptions of a panic attack, rpf.

notes: hello angels! this is veryyyyy overdue but it’s finally here! the ending is a little rushed and i’ve only half-proofread it so please forgive me for any errors. also — this part comes with a MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING for those of you that struggle with SA, please do not put yourself at risk by reading if it’s not meant for you!

on a happier note, i’d like to give credits to @spentandpent for drawing that first image of joost in my little header thingy. their fan-art kinda inspired this whole part <3

also i wanna shoutout @howisjoostfanfictionforfree simply because sloane is one of my favourite people on this whole entire app, and she’s been so so supportive of me since my very first fic post. i ♥️ you, sloane my bbyg xx

── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ──

you wanted to kick yourself.

genuinely, you felt a little sick whenever you thought about all those years you’ve wasted by being just a little too stubborn for your own good.

all those sweet, early mornings where the sun would peak through the blinds and you’d wake up to find him still curled all around you, and how you would run from them just because they started to feel a little too real. all those nights where you’d leave him still tangled up in the sheets, breathless and wishing you’d stay just a little while longer whilst you were already halfway out the door.

for years all you did was run, and you’re yet to forgive yourself for it. because this — this was heaven and you could have had it so much sooner if only you hadn’t been such a fucking coward.

you blame it all on those three little flings that you had over the years; those three no-more-than-six-weeks-long ‘relationships’ that still, somehow, almost ruined you. the first was a guy that seemed to love his pills and potions more than you, the second was once the ‘love of your life’ before he stuck his dick in someone else, and the third was nothing more than a few too many bad hookups with a guy you couldn’t quite shake.

they were what did it for you, in the end. what convinced you to avoid anything more than the odd one-night-stand here and there. you just weren’t cut out for the whole ‘dating’ thing, apparently, and that was fine. you were fine with that; happy about it, even. as long as it meant that you wouldn’t have to go through anymore disappointment, you’d live with it. or without it, rather.

so when you found yourself stood outside in the pouring rain, arguing back and forth with joost about something you can’t even remember anymore, you still thought it to be out of the question. you were refusing to believe that you were anything more than a stress-reliever to him, because that’s all you could ever be. all you ever wanted to be.

whatever it was that you and joost had, it was special. you couldn’t explain it, and you certainly weren’t willing to lose it by feeling all the wrong things for him. you had no idea that he was the one who’d fallen down that rabbit hole, the one who’d started feeling all those wrong things first — not until he kissed you that day.

with the rain soaking the two of you down to the bone, tears pooling in both of your eyes. his chest had been heaving and your throat had felt all scratchy from the yelling; still, he had been so gentle with you. even more so than he usually was. he had his hands cupping your face and the way he’d looked at you, still to this day it gives you goosebumps whenever you think about it.

how lucky you are that for the past six months joost has kissed you just like that, every single day.

every morning now, when you wake up to the sun shining through the blinds and joost’s arms still wrapped around you, you don’t dare to move. you wait until you hear that low grumble in your ear that’s always followed by a sweet kiss to the back of your shoulder, and only then do you roll over to return the favour. sometimes it unravels into something more, other times you’re both able to show some restraint.

the afternoons are always a little more unpredictable with joost’s job being what it was. there were days where he’d say his goodbyes before midday and wouldn’t return until the early hours of the next morning. there were the months where you’d be lucky to even get a whole day together at all. but there were also the days where he’d only be out for a few hours, either at the studio or one of the boys’ houses. on those ones, whether it was your place or his, joost would always come home to you with pastries in his hand and some new art of his to show you.

for the first time in all your years of living, things were finally good. you were happy; you were in love. it was only right to assume that with that, everything else was bound to fall into place.

but you just weren’t sleeping.

you drift off for a while, tucked neatly away into joost’s arms as he engulfs you, him always being so insistent on being the big spoon. for a couple hours you’ll sleep like that, tossing and turning until you’re all the way over on the other side of the bed, and it’s there that you wake up struggling to catch your breath, shaking like a leaf.

usually, it’s just bits and pieces of that night all jumbled up that you see. quick ‘flashes’ of his face, the bloodied crack in the bathroom mirror, the feeling of the porcelain sink digging into your stomach as he bent you over it. nothing truly coherent, but enough to still wake you up in a panic at three o’clock in the morning. then it becomes a gamble as to whether or not you’re able to fall back asleep. most of the time, you’re still laying there wide awake when the sun starts to rise, still far too afraid to close your eyes again.

though for whatever reason, tonight’s dream had been particularly awful. you could’ve sworn that you were actually back there this time, relieving the whole thing. you could feel his hand on the back of your neck, squeezing, keeping you pinned down. you could feel your skirt all in a bunch around your waist again and your tights barely hanging on from how he’d ripped them to near shreds.

and now you were here, staring at the ceiling and trying not to cry too loud whilst the clock ticked closer and closer to dawn. it was almost five o’clock in the morning so really, it should’ve felt as though you’d gotten at least a couple hours of good sleep. instead, you were exhausted; wide awake with your heart pounding inside your chest, but exhausted as tears slipped from the corners of your eyes.

this wasn’t what you expected, not when joost had painted such a beautiful picture that therapy was the be all and end all cure for any and every problem. it had you convinced that by the time you were a few months into your sessions, things would’ve gotten at least a little bit easier. perhaps it was your fault for getting your hopes up the way that you did.

you were trying to keep it quiet, your crying. you hadn’t told joost about what had actually happened that night yet, let alone the nightmares about it. he had a habit of carrying other people’s pain so that they wouldn’t have to themselves — you didn’t want to be one of those people.

after a while though, you didn’t have that choice anymore. there was a bang from outside, nothing more than just an old, cheap car backfiring, and you jumped. you made the bedframe shake a little more than it already was and yelped just loud enough to wake joost up from his sleep. you swore underneath your breath as he grumbled something you couldn’t quite hear before looking back over his shoulder at you.

“you heard that too?”

when you didn’t say anything he turned over fully, the sheets rusting and the mattress creaking as he moved.

you heard him whisper your name, just in case you really were still asleep, but even in the dark he could see that your eyes were open and staring blankly at the ceiling. it was a quiet sniffle that gave you away in the end, because the dark did well at hiding the wetness in your eyes. still, it couldn’t conceal the quick wipe of your nose; even in the dark and without his glasses on, joost could still see that.

“hey, are you crying?”

you didn’t mean to flinch when he went to brush a strand of hair out of your eyes, and you didn’t mean to worry him by doing so. it made his eyebrows furrow as he pulled his hand back and sat up slightly, propping himself up on one of his elbows.

“what’s going on?”

“nothing, i just…i’m just being a bit stupid. i’m fine; you can go back to sleep.”

maybe if there wasn’t that waiver in your voice you would’ve gotten away with it. joost would’ve mumbled something of an ‘okay’ and kissed you goodnight before rolling back over. you would’ve been left alone to wait for the sunrise, a cold sweat coating your skin despite the warm summer air that was rolling in through your open windows.

but even if he was half blind without his glasses on, joost’s ears worked just fine. he heard the waiver in your voice as well as the sniffle in your nose, and he knew.

joost wasn’t stupid; he noticed things. noticed the way the bags under your eyes had been growing heavier over the past couple months, and saw how even the smallest things were making you jump out of your skin. he knew what you were like though, knew better than to try and ask you about it. all he could really do was hope that the therapist you had now would be enough.

but he’d found you near-sobbing at five o’clock in the morning now; heard the fear in your voice, saw the tears in your eyes. it didn’t surprise you to see him immediately sit up and reach over, switching on his bedside light before turning back to face you. but it did bring on a wave of sickness to your stomach, the kind that made your hands feel clammy.

“no, you’re not fine. what happened?”

you wiped at your nose again, and then at your eyes. as you spoke you refused to look at him, keeping your gaze fixed on the ceiling because you truly did believe that all of this was stupid. your tears, the heavy beating of your heart — all of it.

“just had a bad dream, that’s all.”

you heard a soft sigh from bedside you and felt gentle fingers in your hair, finally tucking that one strand behind your ear. this time, you didn’t flinch. you leaned into the touch, letting a single tear slip down your cheek as you realised that soon, this might be the last time he’ll ever want to touch you.

“anything i can do?”

you really didn’t want to do this, but you knew you needed to.

“can i…can i talk about it? you know, about what happened that night?”

joost didn’t hesitate, he couldn’t — not when this was such a rarity for you. he nodded and laid back down, his tired eyes watching as you rolled over until your back was facing him. he couldn’t bring himself to ask why you wouldn’t look at him, just listened quietly as you sucked in a deep breath and watched as you curled yourself into a ball.

“the guy, he was nice at first; saw that i was on my own and wanted to know how i ended up there, i guess. he seemed normal, like he just wanted to get to know me.”

your voice was shaking as you spoke, and you were struggling to breathe through your stuffed up nose.

“i should’ve known that something was wrong when i started to feel like, drunk drunk, after only a couple of drinks. maybe he slipped something in one of them, i don’t know, but when he asked if i wanted to do a line with him i didn’t think i could say no.”

a large hand squeezed your hip from over the covers when you paused for a moment, a few tears getting caught in your throat when you tried to swallow them down.

“i uh, i followed him into the bathroom and i let him lock the door behind us, and i did the line he racked up for me. he promised me that it was a gift, that he didn’t want anything for it; he knew i didn’t have any money to pay him and he said it was fine. but when i tried to leave he told me that he’d changed his mind, said i could pay him back another way.”

joost’s hand fell from your hip when you slipped out from underneath it and curled in further on yourself. it meant that all he could do was watch from the other side of the bed as your shoulders began to shake from the small, pathetic sobs that you couldn’t hold back.

“i said no, joost. he got me up against the door, tried to reach underneath my skirt, but i said no. he didn’t like that — didn’t like it when i hit him, either. he…he bent me over the sink, hit my head against the mirror, told me that i owed him for what he’d given me.”

you had to fight to get the words out through all of your blubbering; through each of the hiccups and all of the gagging. you truly were in a bit of a state now, spiralling further and further down into the memory, but you needed to do this. no matter how much it hurt, you just needed to get it out.

“he held me down by my neck and he…he laughed when i told him i couldn’t breathe. i couldn’t move, joost, i couldn’t get him off so i just…”

when you started to trail off, a pair of arms scooped you up and gently pulled you across the bed until you were flat again joost’s chest. you felt him rest his head in the crook of your neck, a dozen salty tears of his own dripping down onto your shoulder. for a while, neither of you said anything else; you’d gotten yourself too worked up to find the rest of your words and quite frankly, joost didn’t need to hear anything else. he had an imagination, he knew what happened next.

you caught him off guard when after a couple minutes, just after the silence had settled, you started to apologise over and over again. like a child too consumed with guilt, you were spewing out desperate ‘i’m so sorry’s one after the other until the words all slurred together.

“hey, hey, hey, stop that. you don’t need to do that.” you felt him kiss the back of your ear, your neck, your shoulder. “i’m never gonna blame you for it, okay? — it’ll never be your fault.”

joost’s grip on you tightened when you began to cry harder, your tears soaking the pale, bare skin of his arm. he nuzzled his face deeper into the dip of your neck, listening to the unsteady beat of your pulse as you breathed in quick, shallow breaths.

“i-i’m sorry.”

“shhh, hey, it’s alright. just focus on breathing, honey. that’s all you need to do.”

it took you until little drops of sun were spilling through the blinds to finally relax enough to breathe right. neither of you had moved an inch, you were both still all wrapped up in each other, only now the tears had dried and your eyes were growing heavier.

carefully, you twisted in his arms until you were facing his chest, and it was there that you curled up again. you felt him leave kisses all along your crown; in your hair and on your forehead. as you hooked a leg over his, he used an arm to pull you closer, only satisfied once you were as close to being under his skin as you could be.

the warm summer air was still blowing in through your bedroom windows. it made the whole room hot and sticky, making you sweat even more than you always were from being so close to joost. beads of sweat were gathering along your hairline as well as his, and the bedsheets were beginning to cling to your skin. it was clammy and uncomfortable — still, you wouldn’t move.

“thank you, by the way.”

it was the sound of your own voice to break the silence again, but it was your words that made joost shift a little, only to tilt his head down to get a better look at you. when he met your eyes he saw that you were already staring up at him with something of a smile tugging at corners of your lips.

“for what, baby?”

“for letting me talk about it…and for not running away afterwards.”

with his eyes drooping and his breathing slow, joost simply scoffed. his hands danced their way up to your jaw and cupped your face, his thumbs gently stroking along the pink blush of your cheeks.

“i could never run away from you.”

[stxrryskys]

STARRY MY LOVE I HAVE THE BEST FUCKING UDEA

Can you do headcanons of the MW crew of when they find that the reader has drawn the most down bad positions of them and the member of the crew? Then When they're asked about it they try to just write it off as anatomy practice?

YES YES YES!

C/W : Suggestive! Smut for goonsuke... Fweaky sex positions and yeah!

Daisuke:

your major was art, times were tough so you got an internship at pony express. when you boarded the tulpar you brought a sketch book so you didn't get bored. you became very close with daisuke almost instantly, he matched your energy so well he was literally you but a male, anyways, you were on the couch in the "living room" one day and you were drawing.. Drawing freaky stuff.. You liked to practice anatomy but you feel like you spaces out and drew two figures 69ing...while standing up.. And then you looked really closely at it and the male figure looked like daisuke and the women looked a bit like you.. Then as soon as you came to that Realization, daisuke walked in

"Hey dude! Whatcha up to? " you quickly sat on your sketch book and started a conversation with him

An eternity went by and you guys were laughing

"I gotta piss" you said abruptly, you sat up and skipped to the bathroom then he notices the sketchbook sitting on the couch and got curious and flipped though it

He flushed a bright shade a red when he saw the detailed position on one of the pages.. Then he looked closer and closer and saw that it kinds looked like.. HIM?! Shit.. What would he say to-

"DAISUKE! PUT THAT DOWN!! " you ran and hopped on top of him in an attempt to get him to put it down

"S-sorry I-i- got curious!! " he said as you hop on him

"That's - it was just- anatomy practice!! I swear!! "

"I-i- believe you !! "

Goonsuke:

"Is that me "____"?? If you wanted to do something like that with me then you could've just said so~"

So with your consent he waited till everyone went to sleep and did that EXACT position with you, just because he's young does NOT mean he lacks arm strength. He literally used to beat his shit everyday before the tulpar(and he's a baseball player 😻😻)

"Fuck you taste so fucking goo- ah-! "

Curly:

If you're being honest, you're terrified of curly, He is a really big guy and he looks like he could totally pound you into the concrete if he wanted to but your perspective on curly changed the second you accidentally walked in on him changing.

you drew as a hobby to pass the time and you thought you were pretty good at it, you definitely liked realism more than anything else and you kinda... zoned out? and when you looked back at your sketch book it was a RAUNCHY position,, specifically of you and curly, he was holding you, like up while slamming you onto his cock, you had to hide this before anyone could come snoop-

"_____? you in here?"

shit

"U-uh no!!"

But it was to late.. He was already in here

"Whatcha drawing kiddo? "

"NOTHING!? "

"Nothing?? C'mon lemme see" he snatched your sketch book and his eyes widened... Oh you're cooked

"C-captain! Put that down please!! " he just ignored your pleads and continued to examine the drawing

"... That me sugar? " he looked down at you with a lustful look in his eyes

"I-it was just anatomy practice!! "

He set down the sketch book and and grabbed you by your waist and hoisted you up on your desk like it was nothing

"Curly?? "

"You wanna recreate that with me baby? "

Anya:

You were anyas intern, she was a super sweet lady, you and her got along well, you enjoyed her company, when she wasn't all shy and quiet she was super sweet and funny, at the moment you and her were sitting in the medical room chatting late at night and you brought up your drawing hobby and she wanted to dabble in it! So you got your sketch book and showed her some of your sketches, then... She flipped to one page....

"Ah! Uhm!! S-sorry "___" I didn't mean to flip to-"

yet she continued to stare at it, and she purposefully moved into a position to where you couldn't retrieve the sketchbook

"A-anya! give it back"

"Im looking! gimme a sec!'"

you hop on top of her, causing her to fall back on the medical table

the sketch in question? just you. and anya! ,,,,,scissoring and she was just enamored with the drawing, even when you kept trying to take it

Now, anya was feeling bold, she hooked her legs around your waist and brought you closer

"So? Is that how you really feel about me? "

Jimmy:

Jimmy hated you and you hated him. It had always been like that, he was a dick, the LAST thing you wanted was to be his friend, especially on the tulpar.

He would constantly make fun of your art. He thought of you as "mediocore" so you'd usually only draw when you were alone because Jimmy was EVERYWHERE!

You were at the tiny little desk in your quarters and you were drawing what came to mind, you didn't really know but you could wing it.

Finally!! You were finished!! Leeeets take a loo-.... What is that.. AH! WHAT THE FUCK!! YOU DREW YOU!! AND- AND JIMMY HE WAS ON- ON TOP OF YOU WHILE YOUR LEGS WERE OVER YOUR OWN SHOULDERS- damn. You were NOT that flexible. You didn't really realize this before but..jimmy was actually really- attractive?? Before you could comprehend... Jimmy walked in

"Hey! My laundry got mixed up with - dude what the fuck is that?? " he pointed to the sketch book

"Nothing!! "

"Nothing my ass! Is- is that me?! "

"NO! GET OUT!! "

"What the fuck??.. Is this who you really are? Just some slut? " well that was actually really hot and you didn't even know you were into that

"I-it was just anatomy practice! "

"Bullshit... You really are a slut" he moved closer and backs you up against the desk, hands on either side of you

"Yknow.. You've never looked as good as you do now.. I guess it's when you're being a little pervert.. Now..we're gonna do that"

A/N FINALLY!! I'M DONE!! I'm sorry it's taken me forever to get this out because oh my god. I've been so freaky sick, we have a bug going around😣😣 and I've had to get back into therapy so I haven't been doing all that great 😮‍💨 BUT I'M ALIVE! I'M SORRH!! ENJOY! N

[captainsamuelmorrigan]

Poolverine/Deadclaws

[Fluff/Angst with a happy ending]

I just think about Wade BEGGING Logan to let him sleep in bed with him. Logan just shakes his head every time, "You don't wanna do that, bub."

But Wade VERY MUCH does. He would literally kill to sleep with Logan, either way he takes that. Well, he'd literally kill someone regardless, that's his job, but you know!! He wants to run his bumpy, scarred fingers through Logan's chest fur so bad. He daydreams about big spooning his Honey Badger, sliding his arms around him and pressing his front to Logan's big, strong, and warm back. He only feels a little horny about it. A normal about of chubbing up about it.

He begs Logan for weeks, getting on his knees for all the wrong reasons. He hasn't wanted anything this bad for at least a few months! He's desperate.

Like most things in Wade's life, it happens at an unexpected and probably bad time. They had had a mission go bad, both bloodied, and ended up showering and finding comfort in bed with each other. They hardly spoke. It just mattered that they were physically touching. They were both still here. Wade got his Wolverine snuggles, and everything was alright again.

Well, until around 4 in the morning. Wade woke up to three adamantium alarm clocks punching through each of his lungs. It hurt like a bitch. He coughed blood right onto Logan's face. Gross. He definitely wasn't getting invited back to bed after this. He weakly tapped the furry man's shoulder. "Logie-bear, I was expecting some penetration tonight, but I like the pre-made holes played with a little more."

Logan growled in his sleep before the taps brought him back to consciousness. His eyes flipped open, and his expression changed from anger to horror in an instant. "WADE! Wade, I'm so sorry-" The claws withdrew, drawing another wet cough out of Wade. "Please, please, stay with me." He started to gather the sheets to press against Wade's chest, his hands slippery and red. "Althea!! Help! Please!" His eyes were wild, scared, and firmly on Wade. "We'll fix this. I'll fix this!" He turned towards the door again, yelling louder. "Althea!! Help me!!"

Wade was a little stunned. What was going on? He patted Logan's arm, trying to get 400 pounds of superhero off of him. He coughs out an "Off!"

Logan looked at him like he was crazy. "Fuck you if you think I'm letting you die here."

Wade tried to push him off again, smearing blood onto Logan's hairy chest. He sputtered, trying to get words out, but the air wasn't quite doing what he wanted yet. Drowning in blood sucked! 0/5 stars on Yelp for sure.

Al knocked loudly on the door. "Logan? You okay in there?" Logan leaped to unlock the door, allowing Wade to sit up a little bit, his flesh starting to really knit back together, feeling his lungs start to clear.

Logan opened the door. "Althea, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I stabbed Wade, he's- He's bleeding out. You need to call a medic- a doctor, someone!" His voice wavered a bit.

Althea placed a hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow as she leaned on her walker. "Motherfucker, what the fuck are you talking about? A doctor?" Her nose wrinkled as she caught a whiff of Wade's blood permeating the room. "Whew, that's nasty. Clean that up when you're done with whatever this shit is."

Wade coughed. "Very sweet that you care, Logan." His tone softened. He was realizing Logan wasn't 'here,' he was somewhere else, Wade wasn't really Wade in this scene. "Take a breath, Honeybadger. I'll be fine if you just give me a-" cough "second."

Logan's breathing was still heavy, his eyes still wide and scared. Wade was sure the blood spatters across his face weren't helpful either.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm fine! Or, I'll be fine once the mutant cancer does its job. Remember? I don't die." He waved, smiling at Logan from the bed. He wasn't sure the blood dripping from his chest and mouth was helping his case.

Logan deflated a bit. "Oh." He turned to Al. "Althea, I'm sorry. I didn't realize, or, I forgot. I apologize for waking you up."

Al waved him off. "Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go smoke a joint. If you need to loosen that tight ass, feel free to join me."

Logan closed the door, coming to sit on the bed, holding his head between his knees.

Wade wiped his hands on the sheets before crawling to put a hand on Logan's shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. You deserve to get to freak out here and there. We've been through some crazy shit. Did you want to talk about it? Do you want me to go swipe Al's weed? She's not as stingy about it as her cocaine, promise."

"I could've killed you." Logan admits from behind his hands.

"Not possible. Great try though, good form." The Merk quips.

"Don't! Don't joke right now. I would've killed you if you weren't like this." Logan gestures to Wade, his hand still trembling, Wade's blood starting to dry between his fingers. "I shouldn't have let myself fall asleep around you."

"Logan, bud, hey, look at me." Wade patted Logan's knee, scooting closer. "Really look at me."

Logan sat up, turning to face Wade, his eyes red-tinged. His hair is crusty with blood. "Okay...?"

"Am I dead?"

"No, but-"

"No! That's the whole thing. I am alive, whether I deserve to be, or should be, or anything else. I'm here! I'm still here." He smiles softly at Logan. "That's all that matters to me. If a Wolverine cuddle costs me some minutes drowning in blood, I can assure you that is a very small price to pay."

Logan opens his mouth to respond, his sharp canines catching the light from the street lamp outside before he shuts it again. "I'm dangerous."

"I eat danger for breakfast, usually with unicorn marshmallows."

Logan actually laughs at that. "You're insane."

"Insanely in love with you~" Wade teases, jostling Logan with his shoulder.

Logan groans, wiping his face with his bloodied hands. "That can't be the first time you say you love me, that's terrible."

"I think it's perfect. Now, c'mon, let's change the sheets."

"It's gonna stain the mattress." Logan moves.

"Number 2 rule of sex and superheroing without an in-unit washer and dryer, always use a waterproof mattress cover." Wade taps his temple, smirking.

After another shower, a quick change of sheets, and replacing the mattress cover, Wade and Logan are back in bed, cuddled close.

"I love you, too." Logan says softly. "That's a pretty dangerous thing, though."

"Again, danger, breakfast, unicorn marshmallows." Wade mumbles as he pulls Logan closer.

[sensitivepluto]

When it Happens

Satoru Gojo x Gn!Reader

[TW]: gruesome activities, death, heavy angst, swears, bad writing lol

A/N: I held back...just letting you guys know it could have been much worse. Sorry :]

Satoru sat with you in bed, leaned against your chest while you played with his frosty locks. His eyes closed with a blissful smile across his face. In this line of work, you get very scarce time like this together.

You hummed a peaceful tune while continuing your work, massaging his scalp and running your fingers back and forth through his hair. He was so utterly in love with you it hurt his core sometimes.

He thought of the world the two of you were immersed in. The countless curses you both fought on a daily. Sometimes he wondered if he begged you enough if maybe you'd quit. Maybe get a normal job where he knew you'd be safer.

"Hey, baby?" The question left Satoru's lips before he'd really thought it through. "When we die will you let me die first?"

You froze for a moment, stopping your ministrations. He frowned at this, finally opening his eyes to peer up at you. You met his icy blue eyes with your own and sighed, smirking slightly.

"You must know there's no way for me to control that, right?" You answered. He groaned dramatically and threw his arms out. Clearly this is not the response he wanted.

"But if you cooooould," he drew out. "Can you let me go first?" This performance of his drew a giggle from your lips. How could one man be so flamboyantly dramatic.

"Why do you want me to do that?" You jested, trying to get to the root of his question. Suddenly, he sat straight up and turned to look at you head on. He was nearly touching your face with his, and your eyebrows were shot up in surprise.

"Because," Satoru declared. "There is not a moment I want to spend without you. So if you die first it kind of ruins that plan." You rolled your eyes.

You had to admit it was cute, and who were you to deny your boyfriend of his silly hypotheticals.

"You want me to promise you to let you die first?" You hummed. He nodded, determination in his eyes. You shook your head and laughed, taking his face in your hands. "That is so stupid. But if it makes you happy, I promise." A grin spread across his face and before you knew it he was attacking you with kisses.

That was a couple of weeks ago. The memory clung to Satoru's mind as the scene unfolded before him. Flames went up around him while he staggered down the street. He'd seen you go down during the fight with a particularly strong special grade curse.

It caught you off guard. Using sounds of your loved ones to draw you closer to it. He remembers screaming at you not to fall for it but how could you not. The curse had to have gotten those sounds somewhere right?

Satoru watched as the curse appeared in front of you. Within a second he watched it impale you through the abdomen with long, black tendrils. It threatened to rip you in two then and there. If it hadn't been for Satoru quickly drawing his attention away it probably would have.

The curse threw you down like a ragdoll no longer worth its time. Unfortunately for it, its new opponent was called "the strongest" for a reason. It wasn't long before the curse was Hollow Purpled out of existence.

But now here he was, standing in front of you. His eyes blown wide while he looked you up and down. Your eyes were still open, and your mouth stood agape. He choked himself back looking at the hole puncturing through your body.

As he took a step toward you his legs seemed to give out, putting him on his knees before you. Satoru shakily moved your hair out of your face, cradling your head in his hands. It felt like his entire body was shutting down.

"No.." he denied this weakly. "I can't..." He pulled your limp body into his arms. "You promised..." A choked sob left his throat. He didn't even realize the tears streaming down his face. "You fucking promised."

When help had finally arrived they had to force you away from him. He didn't want to let go of you, not like this. But it was just like you had said back then. There was no way for you to control that. And now here he was, all alone again.

[practicalgauntlet]

Δεν θέλω να σε αφήσω

"I don't want to leave you."

Your POV

Synopsis- Sacrifice one of your characters who doesn't want to die and watch them beg to live.

Category- Heavy angst

Notes- I'm writing a full-length fic for Ao3 and experiencing major writer's block, so here's a prompt I stole from Pinterest. This will be a two-part story but there will be no happy ending so don't ask (I have a plan for how I want this written) I will write the fluffiest story I can to make up for it though. Stay tuned.

Warnings- Heavy angst, character death, conon typical gore and violence, no happy ending, I'm feeling very evil today, kidnapping, grief, murder, mentions of torture but no description, established relationship, flashbacks to make all this bearable. Poorly written medical scenes.

Word count- 2,883

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Denial-

You were blindfolded, gagged, and bound in the back of a rattling van. As far as you could tell there were only two people beside you. One driving the van down a winding, bumpy road, and the other in the back with you- holding a gun to your forehead.

How could you have been that stupid?

How could you have let your guard down during a chase?

You were trained better than that.

The team had split up to cover more ground, two members in each direction. You were teamed up with Morgan, much to Spencer's chagrin. Ever since the wedding, he didn't like to be apart from you. But you had spotted a light shining off in the distance, its beam bouncing as if the owner was running. Stupidly, you charged for it, ignoring Morgan's call after you.

It wasn't until a bag was pulled over your head that you realized it was a trap. One that would pull you at least forty-five minutes away from the team.

The van jolted, bouncing up and down as if the road were littered with large rocks and potholes. Maybe it was, you had no idea where you were.

"Why can't we just shoot her? She's a cop."

Your gun-wielding captor murmured, pressing the barrel of the weapon harder against your head. Your heart was pounding but you refused to say anything, refused to give them anything they were looking for.

"Because, jackass, we need 'er. We could hold 'er ransom, she's obviously important. Did you see that one guy lookin' for 'er? I was scared he was goin' to start crashin' out."

"Ugh," The man in front of you presses the gun harder before pulling it away entirely. "Fine."

If your team was going to find you, you were going to have to do your part and get away. Leaving a trail was your best bet. Draw their attention to where you are heading if you can't get out. They were going to find you.

So, with a controlled deep breath, you kick your foot out to the man closest to you. Pride and energy exploded through you as soon as you heard that tale-tell sound of a gun clattering across the floor.

"What the fuck-"

You had managed to get both the gag and the blindfold off, your eyes adjusting to the brightness of the sun streaming in through the windshield and windows. You didn't let it deter you. Quickly you strike, kicking the man once again as you struggle unbinding your hands.

The van swerves and you lose your balance, falling to the ground and landing in a heap of twisted limbs. You didn't have enough time to react as the man towering above you brought the butt of the gun across your skull.

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Anger-

The sky was a vibrant blue with no cloud in sight. Spencer fussed over the use of sunscreen. He didn't want the honeymoon to be ruined over something as preventable as a bad sunburn. You let him dote over you, his wandering hands rubbing the sunscreen over your face and shoulders.

He was so handsome in his thin, white linen shirt and dark slacks, that leather satchel strapped across his chest like always. The two of you were at the beach, the city of Santorini glistening behind you with its bleach-white buildings and cobalt roofs.

When Spencer looked over to you, his sunglasses reflecting the pure joy on your face, he grabbed your hand.

"I'm so excited for forever with you."

"Me too, Spence." - You were tied up to a rusty beam, arms stretched high above your head, toes just barely touching the ground. Your arms ached, your head throbbed, your body was sore. But you still fought, still writhed in place to wear down the rope digging into your skin.

"They'll fucking find you!"

You scream, throat scratchy and ragged. It had been hours since you had been tossed into the basement and unceremoniously tied up. Could it have been more than that? Days? Weeks?

No one answered. Still, you kicked the air, threats echoing into silence. You were literally talking to a brick wall that this point.

"Do whatever you want to me, I'll never talk."

You spit at the ground, ears catching the faintest scrape before the door swung open. Two men and one woman approached. By the looks of it, with her head held high and her confident strut just a few feet in front of the men, she was their leader.

"What the fuck do you want with me, cunt!"

You scream again, energy and anger returned now that you have something organic to yell at. She grabs your face, dagger-sharp nails digging into your cheeks as she squeezes so hard she forces your jaw open.

"Watch your mouth, bitch."

"Make me."

She chuckles darkly, the sound so evil you feel it taint your soul.

"You heard the lady." She snaps her dangerously manicured fingers and the man to your right steps forward. "Make her."

Hours pass and you don't know how much longer you could take their torture. Knives, whips, waterboarding. Anything they could get their hands on, they used. But the lives of your team were at steak. If they weren't already on their way to rescue you.

Blood was lost and skin was ripped. You were kept awake, on the brink of consciousness for so long that you didn't think anything was real anymore. This was supposed to be an easy case, in and out. Spencer promised that he would take you out to dinner; a cute little Greek place that reminded the two of you of the honeymoon.

It was almost like you could see Santorini again. The blinding bright light of the lamp above you twisting and swirling into a midday sun. The sweltering hot heat of the basement bled into the summer air as the two of you walked from one bookstore to the other all the while Spencer rambled on about something you couldn't remember.

The brick walls morphed into the stark white walls of the Air B&B Spencer had rented, with its open windows and stone floors. And soon you were trailing behind Spencer, trying to keep up with his long legs as he pulled you down the cobblestone street.

Your face suddenly stung, your cheek igniting in a powerful blaze that ripped you out of your daydream.

"Wake the fuck up."

You spit in her face and feebly kick at her shins as you continue to dangle. You were too tired to do anything else.

She clicks her tongue at you, smiling a snake's smile.

"Your friends should be here any second. And if they play nice, I might let one of them live."

"You touch-"

Another slap, this time to your other cheek. That fire inside of you, the one that kept you going for however long you'd been there, was slowly dying. You were slowly dying.

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Bargaining-

They had set up a camera. It was an older model that sat on a tripod directly in front of you. On the table to your left sat an old landline; it was on speakerphone. You could hear your team making deal after deal for you, and you could only assume the camera was for them.

"Please..." You whisper, your voice meak. You were so tired, eyes heavy and body numb. You felt like you were floating.

The woman was gone now, her two goons watching you from the table. They refused every deal Hotch made. You don't know why they refused or why they were keeping you here. What did you have that wasn't already offered by your boss?

The man to the left, Dimitri as you learned, grinned an awful smile as he watched you dangle like meat on a hook.

"I'll kill you, you son of a bitch-"

You briefly hear Spencer's voice over speakerphone, the sound like a mirage in the middle of a desolate desert. It pulled you further into the memories that kept you from breaking.

"I love you so much, my darling..."

Dimitri stood, chuckling as you heard a scuffle from the other end of the phone. Spencer was most likely pulled away from the table, kicking and fighting as Morgan took him out of the room.

Your mind was slipping, switching back and forth between fantasy and reality. Soft kisses you could almost feel. The blinding pain in your wrists as the rope rips your skin. His shining smile as you say 'I do'. The throbbing ache all across your body where those fucking monsters continue to cut. The silk sheets sliding against your skin as Spencer kisses down your body.

Finally, Hotch made a deal they seemed interested in. A one-way ticket to dissappear without the threat of the government chasing after them.

"I guess we don't need you no more. It's such a shame, I was just startin' to like ya."

Dimitri raised his gun, the barrel aimed at your temple. It was so close, the bite of the metal against your skin sending adrenaline-filled shivers across your body.

"No, please!" You try, energy coursing through your body as the reality of the situation kicks in.

"Awe, little miss thinks she can plead her way out of this."

The other man, Kyle, joined in. His joy was just as twisted as Dimitri's.

"I don't want to die! You got what you want, please. I have a husband, and a life, and friends!"

You heard somewhere that if you recite your life, your loved ones, and memories, you'd remind them that you were human.

"Boo fuckin' hoo," Kyle mocked as he walked towards the phone and hung up on your team. He moved the camera closer, one last fuck you to the government that failed them.

"You don't understand, please. We got married three- three weeks ago, Penelope’s birthday is next week and I haven't gotten her a present yet. I haven't, I haven't seen my parents all year. Please put the gun down, put it down, please. "

He cocked the gun and squeezed the trigger.

You brace for the pain, the pressure you'd imagine you'd feel. But it didn't come.

"That shit won't work on me, sweetheart. I don't give a shit whether or not you have a litter of ankle biters and plan on meetin' with the president. You're not getting outta this."

"Why?"

"Because I like the look on your face."

Another click. You didn't know if there was even a bullet in the chamber, but every time he pulled the trigger, you flinched.

"This," He drags a meaty finger down your cheek, collecting the tears that were spilling. "Is why."

He licked the tear off his finger, grinning like a madman before pulling the trigger for the sixth time. This was it. Everything happened in slow motion, the release of the gun, the maniacal cackle of the men before you.

Still, you were alive. Still, you were dangling in that basement.

"Please!"

Is all you can say.

"Please stop,"

All other words disappear from your vocabulary.

"Stop, please. I don't wanna die!"

You were rendered a rambling child, begging for a chance to live while they played God with your existence.

Suddenly, you hear an explosion of sound above you. Thundering footsteps, gunshots, falling bodies. They found you.

"I'd say your last words now, mother fucker because you'll never be a free man again."

Dimitri growled in your face. He leaned in real close, his putrid breath fanning across your face.

"And you'll never make it to your one year anniversary."

Boiling, white hot pain spread from your stomach. A knife, its blade twisted in your guts before Dimitri and Kyle are tackled to the ground.

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Depression-

The salty air blew gently across your heated face, the crashing waves like music around you. Spencer pulled you out of the Air B&B after dinner, dragging you down to the beach where he convinced you to a late-night swim.

It was severely out of character for him, but he was just so happy to be married, to be by your side, that he allowed his impulses to rule the night.

The full moon was your only source of light, but you could be blind and still find your way beside him. He was loose and carefree in a way you've never seen him before.

The two of you were waist-deep in water, the tepid waves lapping at your bodies. He held you, one hand in yours and the other on the small of your back, as the two of you rocked to the sound of the ocean.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy before."

He confessed, his face bright. He was looking at you like you were the only girl in the world, and at the moment - with the beach empty - you felt like it.

"Me neither, Spence."

"Please stay with me..."

His voice was different. It was strained, not at all matching the blissful expression on his face. Spencer sounded far away, panicked. All at once, the comfortable warmth of the summer night ocean turned boiling.

Wet, blazing warmth spread across your stomach and leg.

"What?"

"Come, on. Wake up, please. Stay with me."

"I don't want to leave you, Spence."

You were so confused. You weren't going anywhere, not anytime soon. Especially not now.

His face screwed up, his brows drawing in. Tears you didn't notice fell from his lashes as his chin wavered.

"Then stay with me, please."

The night sky disappeared. In its place was a white ceiling. The sound of crashing waves turned into wailing sirens and blunt orders. Spencer's hands around your body turned into the straps of a gurney.

"Spencer?"

You didn't know where he was, your mind still desperately grasping that memory.

"I'm right here, baby. I'm here."

Spencer leaned over you and his worried face was in your vision. He placed his hand on your face, his thumb tracing idle circles into your cheek.

"Where are we?"

Where did the ocean go? You miss it terribly.

"We're on our way to the hospital, darling. You're going to be okay. "

You had the feeling that he was saying that more to himself than to you. But it was comforting nonetheless.

Your eyes felt too heavy, your body too cold. It didn't feel like you were in an ambulance, it felt like you were floating in the ocean, your body suspended in time.

"No, no, no!"

Spencer yelled.

Why was he yelling? You were having such a good time at the beach.

"Baby, please!"

He tapped your cheek, his hands suddenly too warm.

"Calm down, Spence."

Words spilled out of your mouth like molasses, your tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth.

"Were in Greece..."

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Acceptance-

"Scalple."

There was an insistent beeping.

Everything was dark, your body floating in a void that was all too familiar.

Muffled murmurs, a metallic release of air, something wet.

"Baby?"

You turn, and the darkness bled into a soft light. You were in Spencer's apartment, arms and legs tangled with his.

"Yes, my love?"

"I'm going to miss you."

You prop yourself up on your elbow and tuck a piece of hair behind his ear.

"What do you mean, dork? I'm not going anywhere."

Spencer looked so sad.

"What's wrong, Spence?"

He pulled you forward with both hands on your face. Spencer kissed you deeply, his lips moving over yours in a way that had your heart soaring.

When he pulled away, he tucked you under his chin.

"Nothing, just rest."

The sheets were not as soft as your remember, his body not as warm. Something was off. And then it hit you. The van, the torture, the knife.

"I'm dying, aren't I?"

Spencer said nothing, only pulling you closer.

"Did I at least get to say good bye?"

A kiss to your forehead but still no comment.

"Spencer, say something please..."

"The time I spent with you had been the best years of my life."

Oh god.

"Don't say that, baby."

"You'll always be the love of my life. No one will replace you."

"No, Spencer. Stop."

"I'll see you soon, my darling. You better be waiting for me on the other side."

You claw at him, begging him to stop saying such stupid things. But he doesn't respond, only settling further into the bed and holding you as tight as he could.

After a while, you give up and hold onto him as well. You lay there, in his arms, for so long you start to relax.

"I'll wait for you, Spencer. But do me a favor."

He finally looks at you, tears freely flowing down his face.

"Don't subject yourself to a lonely life just because I'm not there. If you meet someone, you meet someone. I just hope they make you happy. That's all I want."

He smoothes his hand down the back of your head.

"Promise me, Spence."

"I promise."

You knew he was lying, but you also knew this wasn't Spencer. It was your subconscious mind preparing you for departure.

You stay in his arms after that, imagining what awaited you on the other side.

[your-unfriendlyghost]

You got any type of Curly lore? Childhood, The Outsiders, TWTTIN, aftermath of either? I’m fine with anything

uhmmmm not reallllly….you should check out @mister-mickey’s stuff tho cos his Curly Shepard is the definitive Curly Shepard to me in so many ways lol.

I guess I think Curly had a crush on Soda growing up, but Soda always saw him as a sorta annoying bad influence on Ponyboy (which is ridiculous considering Soda hung with Dallas Winston who is definitely worse, but whatever)

Uh I draw him with freckles, and I think he dislikes having freckles. He thinks they make him look childish.

He secretly wishes he looked more like Tim, and he hates that he wants that. It legit pisses him off sm.

He gets drafted in Vietnam, but he’s deemed unsuitable for military service due to his massive criminal record. He also purposely plays up his mental instability to get them to declare him too nuts for war. It works fine.

He’s not really close close with anyone and is super lonely tbh. He often does crimes just outta the hope that someone will care enough to stop him, the way people care about Ponyboy. No one seems to except sometimes Angela.

In my “Oh Brother Where Art Thou” series on Ao3, he’s dating Scout Jenkins. Idk if I actually ship that tbh, but I feel like it could be interesting?? I dunno I haven’t written them much so…eh it’s whatever

He is so fucking pissed he missed the rumble at the end of The Outsiders. It still annoys him years down the line. He wanted to stomp those Socs!

[cryptid-doodles-212]

me: all the relationships Stanley Pines has with people can be observed through the lens of his childhood, which is i am not enough

i am the black sheep, the bad child, the dumber twin, the failure

Ford, the person who was supposed to back him up against their father and confirm that Stan was worth it, just cemented in that he is not after Stan fucked up.

The 2 3 ships even (while I don't do Stancest or any cest for that matter i get what you see - the ultimate acceptance from Ford seeing him as equal); Fiddlestan? Proof that someone smart can love him; Billford? now that's him being chosen by this higher being Ford was worshipping - and it picked Stan.

Father son lens that Soos sees him through - that we don't see being reciprocated by Stan. Because he hates the role. He loves Soos, but that kid had a shit father like he did. And Stan never wants that word associated with him. As bad as he believes he is, he must never become that. He wouldn't be a worthy father to a good kid like Soos.

Which makes the family bond he has with Twins all the more special: it's unconditional but it was earned. And Stan earned it by being himself.

Mabel - he saves Waddles, when he could have been selfish. He saves Waddles because he loves Mabel. It would be absolutely in character for his Mr Mystery Conman Grumpy Money Grabbing Uncle persona to not do so. But he did.

Dipper - the scene from the Mindscape, that same exact Stan trying to protect Dipper, walking the thread of, again, becoming his own father. But he tries and tries, to streghten Dipper, because he believes that Dipper is a great kid and doesn't want him to suffer like Stan did.

These two moments were crucial in the whole "he wasn't sure his life was worth living", these kids love him when they don't have to. They love him because they choose to. When he messes up they are there for him, and, as the show progresses, we see Stan in all of his glory how he is when he is trusted and loved. He's a fighter, he is loyal, and he will be there until the bitter end.

my boss who i asked to leave work early to draw my blorbos: what

[wdwdiotr]

Epilogue Sara, she becomes a flight attendant instead! Muther says shes too reckless to become a pilot.

Moreeee info beloooooowww. Kinda! I suck at writing so I'll draw these random blurts someday instead (Someday). Beware, it's super long, and super ramble-y

Oh Sara, how did she become a FLIGHT ATTENDANT of all things?

WELL! She was asked by Pete if she could drive them to this convention for nerds cuz he knew she had a driver's license, she was fine with it as long as she could drive on her scooter

But the scooter couldn't handle all their weight combined. So she had to instead borrow her mom mum's car

When she drove the boys to the comic convention, she didn't. She instead drove into a random tree. (Almost! It's not her fault she's a left hand side driver, it comes with being british!) She was able to hit the brakes fast enough before they could all die, but of course the boys were angry (Jerry less so becuz he's the word simp personified)

Bill went on a rampant about it to her, and told her basically that she was stupid enough to nearly crash a car, how was she going to drive a whole plane?! And that set something off in her, so after the drive back home (And getting in trouble) she asked her mum if she could drive her to her office on the weekends, her mum was hesitant so she resorted to begging. It worked.

Sara is basically trained once more how to drive by american standards by her mum, so she eventually got better! She asked Pete a second time if she could drive them, Bill cuts him off by telling her to fuck off. A week of begging ensued before Jerry caved and asked if she could drive him to magiccon at _____, Sara beamed with delight.

This caused a slight commotion in the club, cause on one hand, they could die, though on the other hand.. their gross minds wandered, what if Jerry is left alone with a female, in a CAR. What would've happened?? What if he gets some action before they do?! I mean they might as well die when that happens. This was one of the only times Jerry was stubborn enough to do what he actually wanted, so they couldn't convince him to just not go. (Damn.)

Jerry is sad because he genuinely did expect to get some action and some time alone with a girl. But instead he's in the backseat again with his good ol' pals. (Nothing would've happened whether they were alone together or not, Sara is as sex repulsed as a 7 year old boy who thinks cooties are real.)

OKAY ANYWAYS, after a finally peaceful and slow drive and day to magiccon, Sara huffs with pride as they got back home without crashing into any trees.

Without her notice, she got into the club! The title, Secretary of having a driver's license Aircraft was bestowed upon her. She actually did get giddy over it though.

They become friends, sort of. They're still degenerates at the end of the day. (THEY CAN'T HELP IT OKAY?!? (They can)) They treat her better after This fan, This monster.

Speaking of that! After news got out that one of her 'friends', Bill, arson-ed the only comic book shop around, her mum became stricter on her and threw out most of her stuff that sorta related to being in that club, including her scooter, helmet, and goggles!

Muther: I'm taking all these and throwing them out! I knew those boys were up to no good, they never are! (Hoo boy, projection much? But she was right, you know)

OH THE HORROR

She did feel bad for Bill, sort of.

They moved to NYC after a while so she wouldn't have a 'relapse moment and try to go back to her degenerate friends.' -Muther's words. The only way she stayed in contact with the other three were by phone booths and a dream. After turning into an adult she was able to independently get a phone of her own without her mum blasting her.

(Jerry attempts to pursue a long distance relationship with her, she ghosts him for a while because divorced child ptsd. But now they're friendly again, she's very fond of Mandi! Red haired girls!)

When college came by, she got forced to take a tourism course and become a flight attendant as her mummy thought it'd keep her on her toes. The End.

'I should've went with dad instead..' - Famous last words of Sara Calloway.

[truelotus]

“𝐈𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋” — 02

Yandere! Sosuke Aizen X F! reader

TW: murder, obsession, NSFW (oral M! receiving)

“Oh dear lieutenantt” The mans words were a bit slurring, he has just gotten back from the bar. And the first thing he he did when coming back to the barracks was trying to find you.

He wanted to mess with you a bit.. he has messed with you before and you never stood up for yourself. Since he knew that you weren’t going to do anything about it, he has been messing with you ever since.

“Where the hell is she..” He held onto the wall for support as he walked through the halls. He eventually came to a random room, he slowly slid the door open.

“The fuck?” He said as he felt a sudden presence behind him, he was drunk yes but the presence felt so heavy, there was no way that he wouldn’t have noticed it..?

“Hello, sir Erin correct?” The voice of the man behind him sent shivers down his spine, the way his name slid off his tongue creeped the guy out.

“What is it to you?!” He quickly turned his neck, eyes widening in shock when seeing it was squad 5 lieutenant. And he wasn’t smiling like he usually does.

Well he is definitely smiling, but the way his lips curved upward while showing a little bit of teeth creeped him out, there was something bad about that smile and he was terribly frightened.

“I have some things I’d like to discuss with you.” Sosuke raised his foot up to reach his back, kicking him to the floor. He was enraged, he isn’t the type of man to manhandle someone ever.

But this Erin guy.. is the guy from the other day. He was the one of the members who were making comments about your body. Sosuke remembered his face and took his time to plan when to kill him.

Erin was on the ground, terrified on what was about to happen. This is not the kindhearted lieutenant that everyone knows and love. “If you scream, i’ll end this discussion in a heartbeat.” Sosuke drew his blade, pointing the tip of his blade right to his nose.

Erin nodded quickly, the fear in him had made him react quicker. Sosuke smiled wider at the sight of his fear, he relaxed, putting his blade down.

“Do you recall when Y/N passed by the other day? You said ‘look at that ass, it’s a work of art’..”

“I was only complimenting her! You get me right? I mean the lieutenant is stunning! I was just talking about her looks!”

He no longer had a smile painted on his face, his eyes turned black and he quickly raised his blade, slightly slicing open Erin’s cheek. He gasped when feeling the blood dripping down his cheek.

“You know, I really don’t mind when people compliment what is mine..”

“But when someone goes as far as stealing her panties and masturbates with it in their hand.. That’s where I draw the line.” Erin titled his head in confusion, he’s never done such thing before? could this be all a misunderstanding?

“I have never-”

Erins words were cut off by Sosuke as he continued to talk.

“That is why.. I went for the head of your friend.” Sosuke revealed the item he was holding behind his back. Erin didn’t even notice he was hiding something anyways.

But when his eyes shifted to the item, his eyes were filled with such horror.

Sosuke was holding up the head of his friend, what person in their right mind would do this kind of thing?!

“You’re crazy. You’re absolutely crazy..” Erin slowly backed up while he was still on the floor, Aizen only walked closer the further he walked away.

“I am not mad.. but for the women I cherish.. I would happily cross any boundary, even my own sanity.”

After finding out that two of members of your squad were killed by murder, you were left in distress. You were in your office, thinking about what to do.

You saw your zanpakuto, up against your desk. Maybe you could talk to your zanpakuto about it, see what he suggests.

You slowly reached your hand out , wanting to reach for your zanpakuto until a sudden knock on the door disturbed you, making you retreat your hand.

“Come on in!”

“Afternoon, Y/N. I came by to see how you were doing.” It was Sosuke! Seeing him made you feel at ease again. He walked over to your desk.

“I’ve been better.”

“If you find yourself with some time to spare, I’d be delighted to take you somewhere. It’s a place I often visit when my thoughts are.. unclear.”

You could feel your cheeks heat up, was he asking you out on a date? You were supposed to train today but you train all the time.. so it wouldn’t be bad if you spent some time with Sosuke right?

“I have some time right now.” You shyly stated while looking around for something, you were really just trying to hide your blushed face from him. How embarrassing.

He chuckled, putting his hand out to you.. “Then let us leave.”

“My legs are starting to hurt! How much longer are we going to walk.” You groaned, your legs were beginning to feel a bit wobbly, you haven’t had enough nutrients recently due to training and the stress of the murders recently.

Sosuke had a worried look in his eyes when seeing you push yourself so hard.

You were about to fall over, until Sosuke caught you right on time. “I’ll carry you for the remainder of the way, do you have any problems with that?” There was a clear consideration in his voice.

“I’m more than okay with that.”

He nodded, smiling gently at you before swiftly picking you up. He carried you bridal style. It was like being in a romance movie.

The field around you two was incredibly beautiful, the long bright green grass, flowers scattered everywhere, the clean air. It really was beautiful, you desperately wanted this moment to last. You found yourself so at ease you laid your head on his shoulder.

Your hand slowly moved up closer to his chest, you were making circles with your fingers at his chest. You had no idea what you were doing but it just felt right to do so. After realizing what you have done you quickly retreated your hand back, mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’

Once again, he chuckles at you. His gaze softening when making contact with yours.. “Such beauty. It’s not often one encounters someone who is as perfectly crafted like you.” You could feel the grip of his hands tightening.

He knows how beautiful you are, and he is sure everyone can see you the exact same way. It angers him.. other will look at what is his. But would never blame you for that, you are sculpted perfectly.

That is why, he will kill anyone who looks your way.

“We’re here.” He said as he carefully placed you down, he had his hand gently placed on your back in case you were still not ready to stand.

You found yourself at the entrance of the cave that was barely visible, the entrance was concealed by ivy and moss. You turned your neck to him, a bit hesitant to enter. He noticed your hesitation, taking your hand and using his other hand to move the ivy away.

As you stepped inside you were met with the cool air in the cave. The sound of water gently dripping from the stalactites above.

In the center of the cave, there lies a small crystal-clear pool of water. The surface slightly being covered with lotus flowers. Slowly you walked over to the water, gently touching the water.

Your eyes had that starry effect in it, it was incredibly beautiful. You have never seen such a place.

“Oh Sosuke.. It’s beautiful.” While you were focused on the view in front of you, Sosuke’s eyes were focused on you. You were far more beautiful than this place.

“Isn’t it?”

You didn’t even notice that he was really staring at you, he was saying you were beautiful, instead of the view.

“Come on.” He calmly said before leading you to a spot where the view looked much more elegant.

The two of you sat together, backs laid up against a rock. You could see the water from where you were, the cave really was one of a kind.

“How did you find such a beautiful place Sosuke?” He flashed you a charming smile before answering, “I was just wondering around.. then just happened to find this place.”

You hummed and you parted your lips, about to say something until he spoke first. “As soon as I laid my eyes on the scenery, I couldn’t help but think it was the perfect setting for us. And judging from your expressions, I was right.”

You let out a small and gentle laugh, “You’re a very smart man Sosuke.” You moved your knees to your chest, Sosuke turned over to you and slightly saw the color of your panties since you wore a miniskirt with your uniform.

“Could I ask you something, Y/N?” You could tell he was about to ask something serious, so you gave him your full attention.

“Tell me.. if you possessed the ability to reshape the world, would you take it upon yourself into making it a better place? Even if it meant dismantling the very system that holds it together?”

The question was very odd but you didn’t think much to it, there was no way that there could be a deeper meaning behind it, right?

“Of course I would, I mean if I could create a world much better than this one why wouldn’t I take action on it? It’s like i’m setting the world for failure. I don’t think thats right.. y’know?”

Your answer satisfied him, maybe he didn’t have to force you to agree with his plans. But who knows.. he isn’t going to tell you just yet. Guess we’ll just have to see how you react once he tells you.

You stretched your legs out when realizing what kind of question he was asking, where was he even going with this? “Sosuke is there..” Your words stopped when you turned your neck to him, your nose touched his.

He was dangerously close with your face, you became stiff. How did he end up moving this close to you? Should you back away.

He smiled when seeing you so nervous about how close he was so, he backed away just a bit. “You’re absolutely beautiful.” He whispered as he brushed his hand against your cheek.

For a moment, everything just went silent. The water dripped from the stalactites above stopped. The only thing that could be heard slightly was the sound of your heart beating rapidly.

Your glossy lips slightly parted, wanting to speak but nothing came out.. His lips slightly parted as well. There was a clear tension between you two..

He cupped your cheek with one hand, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. Slowly he brought his own face closer to yours, still cupping your cheek.

Your lips softly met with his, the warmth of the kiss spread throughout your body.

This is the feeling that Sosuke longed for, your lips were incredibly gentle. The tension continued to build up slowly, he turned his head slightly, deepening the kiss. He continued to do small kisses here and there, but there were a few sloppy ones.. as well with rougher ones.

There was a slight opening, so he took that chance to slide his tongue into your mouth. You did a quiet and small moan as his tongue explored your mouth. This was all happening so fast.. but were you going to complain? hell no.

When he finally pulled back, there was a silence. He stared at you for quite some time, then stared down at your swollen pinky lips that were caused from him.

“Sosuke..” You muttered out, Sosuke gave no response. He only brushed a piece of your hair behind your ear. He was admiring you, he loves you dearly.

“You don’t plan to runaway from me, do you?” The question caught you off guard, but of course there shouldn’t be any other meaning behind it. And you were definitely not about to runaway now.

You’ve loved this man for years, you remember him from your academy years. He was always the man you loved, and only him. Many other girls fell in love with him left and right but your love is much more different, yours wasn’t lust at all.

“Good.” He gently smashed his lips onto yours, he moved his hand to the back of your head, pushing your head further in to deepen the kiss.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, you just couldn’t help yourself to his touch, this is the touch you longed for so long.

He slid his tongue right back into your mouth, causing you to moan in his mouth. The way you moaned by just a little action only aroused him, how loud could he get you to moan? and how loud could he get you to moan out his name.

Slowly, you reached your hand out to his thigh, just for support.. but your hand landed on something else.. it wasn’t his thigh.

You quickly pulled your hand back, but before you could even place your hand on another part of his body, he grabbed your hand and led it back to the spot you last touched.

He pulled away, a string of saliva followed as he did—“Look at what you have done to me, I’m a mess.” You could feel his hardness from his shihakushō.

You began to feel him up, you could hear slight whimpers coming from him. He wanted more of you, he wanted to have your lips around his cock, he wanted everything from you.

“Forgive me. But I just cannot hold myself back.” He undid his pants, slightly lowering them. Just enough for his cock to be out.

Your eyes glistened when seeing his length, the thickness, the pre-cum on his pinky tip. Everything about him was beautiful, even his cock. This man is perfect.

The length did slightly frighten you, you’ve never seen someone so .. long. But what do you know? You’ve never even touched a man before.

“I take that this is your first time doing any of these things?” Your eyes shifted away from his sex then to his eyes, you nodded.

He felt himself twitch, the fact that no other man has had himself inside of your mouth just turned him on even more, he was the first and he was definitely going to be the last. He will not have another mans sex be in contact with you.

“I’ll be gentle with you then.” Was he going to have sex with you right now?! In a cave?? This place is extremely dazzling but you much rather have sex for the first time in bed. Instead of a cold pretty cave.

While you were stuck in your own thoughts, Sosuke grabbed the back of your head again, he shoved your head down to his sex.

Well that definitely wasn’t gentle..

You gagged a bit when taking all of him, You were a bit confused on what to do next.. but you’re going to try your best to please this man.

Sosuke had pulled your hair back, just so it wouldn’t get into your way. You quickly got used to his length, you took your hand, wrapping it around the remainder of his length.

He was way too long for you, so you needed to give him a blowjob while you suck on his dick. The wetness of your mouth covered his dick, so it was much easier to stroke his cock.

The corner of your eyes began to get teary , even though you were taking half of his length it was almost too much for you. Sosuke groaned when feeling your tongue wrap around the tip of his shaft.

He gripped onto your hair as you gave him strokes on his cock while sucking onto his sex, you could feel him twitch while sucking.

“Hah..” You looked up when hearing him panting, just you making eye contact him could make him cum, that’s how much this man was aroused by you. But of course he couldn’t cum just yet, he wants to enjoy this a little longer.

Your cheeks hallowed, taking him as much as you could without gagging, earning a groan from him.

“You’re.. fuck.. doing splendid.” Sosuke praised you even while sucking his dick, you definitely deserved it. The way his toes curled by your strokes, his hand gripping tightly onto your hair because he could feel your tongue swirling around, the small kisses you placed when you weren’t sucking.

There’s no way he could last longer.

Your movements began to get sloppier, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t enjoying it. His groans and moans began to get slightly louder.

You removed your mouth from his sex just to get a quick breather, making a pop sound. “Sosuke..I-” Sosuke grabbed your head, shoving it back down to his dick.

“I apologize.. I didn’t want to make a mess everywhere.” As he said that you could feel a warm salty liquid filling up your mouth.

He kept your head down until he was sure that your mouth was full with his seed, he didn’t want a drop of it wasted.

He then released your head, “Do not waste even a single drop of it. Swallow it.” You pulled your head back, mouth full of cum.

You nodded, swallowing the warm salty cum of his. He grabbed your cheek, pressing it slightly, just enough to open your mouth slightly. He smirked when seeing you had actually swallowed it.

“That’s my good girl.” He placed a small kiss on your lips. He then made you put away his sex, making you also fix his pants.

“I’m sorry if.. I didn’t do a very good job. It was my first time.” You hid your face with your hands, he chuckled by your consideration.

“You did amazing my dear Y/N. You did make me cum. That says a lot.” He grabbed your hands, moving it aside just so he could place a small and gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Let’s stay here a little while longer..”

“Yes, Sosuke.”

[spiderluvbot]

🖇 BAD IDEA ! jacaerys velaryon.

summary — you've never been good at giving advice, an ill attempt to help your friend helaena ends up in disaster when you receive a call at midnight. notes — first chapter!!! i desperately need to talk to someone about my ideas while writing this so if you want spoilers let me know lmao. warnings — cursing, mention of drugs, i think the pov is kinda weird in some parts but i don't wanna deal with it.

masterlist.

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

tap. tap. tap.

helaena's pen taps repeatedly against her textbook, green glitter ink shining in the sunlight as it comes and goes, filling the silence between her sighs. a cluster of noises that is soon replaced by the sound of her head slamming against the table.

"i'm tired."

looking up from your own book, and seeing your friend still with her head down as she draws random patterns against the wood, you decide that math can wait —preferably until aemond comes back and gives you the answers— and lean back against your chair.

"that's usually what happens when you stay up late."

"i didn't stay up late this time."

"bullshit." in lieu of her eyes, your own roll before landing on the small rubber frog on top of her abandoned pen. "daeron sent me a photo of you watching planet insect at five a.m with dreamfyre sleeping in your head."

shyly, helaena's head lifts until her frown is visible, and she speaks softly.

"what was he doing up at five a.m.?"

"all-nighter." you shrug and teasingly smile. "care to explain why your shitty sleeping habits are back?"

"it wasn't my fault!" your indifferent look makes her sit straight, and she fidgets with her fingers as she begins to rant.

"i couldn't sleep! you know jace's room is next to mine and he kept leaving voicemails to sara!"

your eyes close tight, face scrunching and dark spots appearing once you realize your mistake. you love your friend, you really do, but if you hear her complain about her cousin one more time you might kill her.

your eyes open to spot the frog pen once again, a gift from aegon after missing movie night and upsetting helaena, and you could swear his spirit mocks you through it as you decide to indulge your friend.

"how is he?"

"he's been moping around for weeks now. between hockey and sara i have never seen him this stressed before. it's annoying, he's always being loud. and he almost stepped on the spider i found last week."

you snort at her words and reach for the gummy bears in your shared pile of candy, handing the bag over for her to open and stretching before lifting your legs to the chair.

"you wouldn't have to deal with all that if your family wasn't so weird. was the spider fine?"

"yes." she answers while shoving the opened bag, and then begrudgingly adds. "my family isn't weird."

"helaena, love, i'm sorry to break it to you but most people don't share a mansion with half of their relatives. you're fucking weird."

"that's not true!" she sounded as if the words had a hard time leaving her mouth, as if they knew they were nothing but a ridiculous excuse and refused to come out. "cerelle lannister lives with her grandma."

the thing about your friend was that her family was definitely some level of weird. you didn't get to met her father before he died, but you knew the man was significantly older than helaena's mother, and that he had made them live with his daughter rhaenyra and her children, in an attempt to bring them all closer. therefore, they were one of those rich families that split a giant house in half and tried to pretend they didn't actually live together.

choosing to sacrifice a gummy bear, you tossed it at her face before answering.

"cerelle lannister's grandma is staying with her family while she recovers from a broken hip, it's not the same." you received a crumbled paper to the face after that, and your laughter resonated around the house as you started throwing whatever you could find at each other.

the door banged open, startling you both and making helaena cover her ears. her cousin jacaerys stormed in, muttering curses and banging a heavy bag against every furniture in his way.

you both welcomed him in, and both got ignored as he went directly to the stairs, solely focused on his phone.

"see!" helaena pointed after him. "i feel bad, i don't know how to help him."

your eyes were focused on the stairs, and you hummed something that almost sounded like 'i don't know' before turning to look at her.

"get someone hot to hit on him, or give him a compliment, something like that."

"that doesn't make any sense, how would that help?"

"i don't know," you shrugged. "it helped me after breaking up with ben. cregan told me he thought i was nice and funny and i thought about it for weeks."

"i don't get it."

"look. you just need to find someone that's, like, extremely out of his league to compliment him, or flirt with him. it's gonna build up his confidence." you grabbed a sour gummy from the pile before speaking again, words coming out mumbled as it moved around. "i'm not sure it's good advice but it worked for me, i guess, i started feeling better after that."

"okay" she said, unsure, and then once again with excitement. "okay! so you can do it!"

"what?" you screeched. "no, i can't. why would i do that?"

if you looked as bewildered as you felt, she had decided to completely ignore it.

"why not? you're pretty, jace thinks you're pretty. and he always says you're really nice too."

"i'm not flirting with your cousin, helaena."

"but you said it could work! you know, he used to have a crush on you when we first met." she spoke as if that should convince you, and you felt yourself cringe a bit at her lack of secrecy.

"i don't think you should tell me that, hel."

"but you said—"

"no, i'm not doing it. find someone else."

the door opens again, interrupting helaena before she can speak, and rhaenyra slowly walks in, dropping her bags on the couch as her tired eyes take in the room.

"hi girls, is he upstairs?"

"yes," helaena mumbles with her head half hidden in her arms." he looked angry."

"of course he did." she sighs. "i haven't seen him like this since—"

she stops herself abruptly, looking lost for a second before giving you a tight smile.

"anyway." rhaenyra clears her throat before turning to you. "are you coming to watch the game with us tonight, dear?"

"oh, yeah. helaena invited me." your eyes awkwardly move between your friend and her older sister, avoiding looking towards the stairs at all costs. "i hope that's okay."

"of course, sweetheart. it's always good to have you with us."

"thank you, rhaenyra." she gives you a smile, a real one this time, and squeezes your shoulder before walking off.

not long after, you were following helaena to her room, trying repeatedly to stop her from stumbling as she ran up the stairs.

"mom bought me a sweater, it looks like moss." she smiled and turned to you, almost falling again, but you were too distracted to fully pay attention to her.

from this part of the stairs, almost at the top, you could see a silver of her room's door, and consecutively, jace's. his voice resonated in the hallway, and although most words got lost in the distance, sara's name could be heard once in a while.

you hadn't known jace for more than two years, talked to him far less than that. still, jace had always been kind, welcoming, the kind of person that would come talk to you if he saw you by yourself, but now he spent most of his time alone, and whenever he spoke a small tremor accompanied his voice, whether from sadness or anger, or both.

"look," you turned to her. "i know i shouldn't ask, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but, what did she mean?"

helaena sighed and grabbed your hand, slowly guiding you to her room and closing the door before quietly speaking.

"he got like this before, when we were kids." she walked towards her bed and slowly sat down, pulling you with her. "with harwin."

"oh." you didn't know much about the man, but had vague memories of old classmates whispering about how alike jace and the old family friend looked, and later on about how laenor, his father, had divorced rhaenyra and gotten married to another man. and then, when harwin died, you had vague memories of young kids being cruel.

"yes, oh." she frowned, placing her head against your shoulder as lightly as she could, in the way she always did when she needed comfort but didn't want to be touched. "but rhaenyra will figure it out eventually. she always does."

she got up then, as if the last 10 minutes hadn't been filled with somber conversations, and headed towards her closet while rambling about what to wear and who would drive who to the game.

"just wait here a second." she entered the closet and closed the doors. playing with your hands as you waited for whatever it was helaena wanted to show you, you looked around the room and let out a bored sigh, soon distracted by your phone vibrating.

halfway in the air, your hand froze as helaena's muffled movements were replaced with the sound of something hitting the ground, followed by a small 'ow'.

"hel?" you stared at the door as you half-stood, hovering over the bed and noticing the lack of light underneath. "you okay?"

"yeah, i'm good."

"did you turn on the lights in there?"

at first you were met with silence, followed by the sound of her getting up, and then her voice. "no."

"right..." you whispered to yourself, reaching for your phone again once you made sure she turned on the lights.

"ta-da!" you looked up as helaena came out and did a little twirl, showing off the sweater and an old pair of jeans that she had embroidered with suns.

"you look great, it's really pretty." you smiled, reaching to feel the fabric. "what happened though?"

"oh, i tripped over my boots." she lifted her leg, grabbing her foot as if to show you before nodding towards the phone. "who is it?"

"aegon." you turned the phone for her to read the chat.

"ew. saliva, gross." she murmured to herself before placing her hands under her face and smiling. "send him a photo."

despite aegon's answer being immediate, it took you about a full 20 seconds to figure out what his text said. "he says that you look like 'that thing that was growing in grandpa's backyard tree last year'." frowning at the misspelled words in your phone, you added. "i think."

"great!" helaena smiled.

"right. and what's that supposed to mean, exactly?"

"oh, he has this big three that's all covered in moss and lichen, it's beautiful."

"i can't believe you didn't show me that, take a picture next time."

"sorry, will do." she smiled before turning to her vanity and grabbing two pairs of earrings. "fireflies or bees?"

"fireflies."

helaena sat next to you while putting them on, the two of you laughing at yet another text from aegon asking for money, before she softly hit your arm.

"oh, call him!" she whispered, keeping her eyes glued to the wall she shared with her cousin as if he could hear through the concrete. "ask him about jace!"

"what? no, i'm not doing that!" you whispered back. "what could aegon know anyway?"

"i don't know." she shrugged. "they were together all day, he might know something."

you looked at helaena annoyedly, fully ready to deny her. of course, around five seconds later your curiosity got the best of you and had you pressing the call button.

the phone rang five times before aegon picked up, shouting something that sounded almost like a 'hello' and forcing you and helaena to push it away.

"you know, i'm busy, and unless you're calling to tell me you've changed your mind about the money i'm hanging up."

"you're already high, why do you need my money?" you hissed, pulling helaena's hand away as she tried to take the phone.

"a man has to always be prepared." he slurred slightly as he spoke.

"don't you have a game to worry about, you—" helaena took the phone, interrupting whatever insult you had planned to throw at her brother as she leaned against her pillows.

"how was he? did something happen?" she whispered, signaling with her head for you to get closer. "he came home angry. and i think he was talking to sara a few minutes ago."

"nah, it was probably cregan. she was at practice today but she's been ignoring him."

the sound of a door opening startled you, hurrying to hide the phone under the covers while helaena repeatedly told aegon to shut up, both of you sitting still until the footsteps faded.

she turned to you with a relieved sigh, grabbing the phone and your hand before walking back into her closet. the two of you sat on the floor and huddled over the phone, struggling to sit comfortably in the dark.

"i have no idea what that was, but you do know you could've just muted the call, right?" aegon's distorted voice teased.

"shut up." the two of you said before you continued. "what do you mean she's been ignoring him?"

he exhaled tiredly, you could imagine him inflating his cheeks and looking away with wide eyes as he usually does whenever he has bad news to deliver. helaena and you shared a worried look.

"he tried to talk to her three times today, but she kept making excuses to leave. after a while she just started walking away whenever he came near."

"shit."

"helaena!" you screeched, turning to your friend with wide eyes. this had probably been the first time you had ever heard her curse.

"no, she's right. it is shit." aegon interrupted. "i mean, he deserves to know why."

"why what?" you asked.

"why they broke up."

"he doesn't know?" you asked bewildered. no one responded to your question, and when you looked at helaena for answers, she simply shook her head with a pitiful look.

that was bad. that was really, really bad. it also answered many of the questions everybody had, mainly why jace had been so upset compared to past breakups.

"well, shit." you agreed quietly.

you turned to the sound of the door opening. jace stood against the doorframe, looking around the room before giving you a weird look as he found you sitting in the dark inside of helaena's closet.

"uh, we're leaving now." he fixed the bag on his shoulder, giving you a small,sad smile similar to the one his mother had given you earlier, before leaving.

"we'll be down in a minute!" helaena yelled, getting up and offering you a hand, before bringing the phone between the two of you. "any advice?"

"try to keep him distracted, she's in the locker room with cregan."

if time travel existed this would be it, you would return to this very moment and kill helaena, friendship be damned. you could have gone with aemond, daeron, and their grandfather, or even alicent and her mushy boyfriend, but no, after dragging you downstairs, she just had to trap you in the most awkward car ride ever.

despite rhaenyra offering to let jace choose the music and luke not fighting him for the passenger seat for once, the car you had been forced to go into was the most quiet and uncomfortable place you had probably been in your entire life.

the torture lasted for a total of seventeen minutes, filled with rhaenyra asking any question she could think of to try and get more than one-word responses from jace, and helaena attempting to fill the silence with various insect facts. thankfully, around the twelve-minute mark, luke took pity on you and shared one of his earbuds until your salvation came in the form of the school parking lot.

"i've never enjoyed getting out of a car as much as i do right now." luke whispered while opening the door.

"i doubt you'll feel like that much longer." you whispered back with your eyes set on the rink's entrance, where sara snow stood smoking.

jace dropped his bag the second he saw her, the sound particularly loud in the almost empty parking lot. she looked startled, like a deer caught in the headlights, and she quickly walked away like one would when he took a step forward, leaving nothing but a half-finished cigarette and the kind of tension that could be cut in half with a knife behind.

he frowned, teeth grinding as his jaw clenched, before angrily picking up his bag and walking inside. everyone followed quietly while you stood in place, stuck as your eyes followed sara through the parking lot.

"hey, let's go." helaena nodded towards the entrance, reaching out her hand.

"i'll go inside in a minute" you distractedly murmured before going after sara.

you found her a few feet away, standing behind her car and taking deep breaths.

"hiding?"

"something like that." she huffed, running her trembling hands through her hair. she tried to avoid eye contact, still, you could tell her eyes were teary.

"do you wanna talk about it?" you asked quietly. "i'm not asking because of jace, i just— i thought you could use a friend."

"jace is great i just..." she swallowed hard. "i can't date him."

"why not?"

she hesitated, looking at you wearily before speaking.

"i don't think i can date any guy."

you stayed silent for a second, open-mouthed as you stared at sara in recognition. she looked away, muttering to herself about how she 'shouldn't have told you that' before she got pulled into your arms.

"there's nothing wrong with that, sara. you know that, right?" you could feel her tears against your shoulder as she nodded.

"i know." she sighed. "i don't wanna hurt him."

"i get that, but it's hurting him more to not know what happened and think he did something wrong." you said as you hugged her tighter. "look, it's up to you to tell anyone. but i think he would understand."

"i know he would," you could feel her crying against your shoulder. "but i'm still scared. you're the first person i've told."

you pulled away from her, raising your hands to wipe away her tears.

"i understand, it's normal to be scared. but look, at some point he's gonna find out what happened, and i think it would be better coming from you. and you don't even have to tell him everything if you're not ready yet, just know that he would understand." you looked into her worried eyes and added. "and so would cregan, if that's what you're worried about."

"you think so?"

"i know so. they adore you." you held her hands and smiled. "and if for some reason they didn't, i would personally kick some sense into them."

sara laughed for what felt like the first time in months, drying the rest of her tears and taking a deep breath.

"thanks for coming to talk to me."

"thanks for trusting me." you smiled and started to pull her to the entrance. "now come on, or we're gonna miss the game."

you look around for helaena and her family, ready to take sara with you, when she stops you and nods towards the locker room.

"i have something i need to do."

you follow her gaze to find jace talking to his mother by the door and smile, pulling her into a hug once more.

"good luck."

the last thing you see before leaving to find your seat is jace, surprised and confused to see her coming, taking a hesitant step forward before she places a hand on his arm and rhaenyra quietly walks away.

you find your seat next to helaena and smile at her, getting comfortable as you wait for the players and hoping things work out.

once the game starts, it seems that whatever they talked about worked out, because she comes to sit beside you with rhaenyra, both smiling and chatting, and luke excitedly mentions that jace plays better than he has in weeks.

the rest of the game is thankfully uneventful, and you spend most of it laughing at cregan, who sara keeps mocking for being too into the game, and aemond, who helaena mocks for looking like he would rather be anywhere else.

"i can't believe you almost punched the goalie!" luke laughs, throwing his remaining popcorn at aegon.

"yes, i can't believe it either." alicent scolds her eldest son.

you and helaena walk behind them, laughing at her frown, and then laughing harder as alicent's boyfriend criston quietly teases aegon about how to throw a proper punch.

rhaenyra, who walked in front of everyone, stopped in front of her car helping jace place his bag inside before turning to you.

"so, we were thinking pizza for the celebration, what do you think?"

"oh, i need to be home before eight, my parents are going on a date tonight and i promised i would take care of my sister." you shook your head. "but thank you."

"are you sure, sweetheart? we can eat quick and i'll drive you right after, i need to pick up joffrey from his playdate anyway."

"it's okay, i wanna get home early so they can get ready in peace."

"next time then." she placed her hand on your shoulder and smiled in a motherly way. "but at least let me drive you home, it's late."

you were about to decline her offer, tell her that you could just get an uber, but jace spoke before you could.

"i can drive her."

"don't worry, love. you should go celebrate. i'll meet you at the restaurant."

"it's okay, i don't wanna bother—" the words died in your mouth once you realized neither of them was listening to you. instead, jace stopped his mother, looking back to you before leaning closer to her.

"mom, i can drive her." he whispered pleadingly. you have no idea what he said after that, but she stared at him for a second, looking surprised, and finally handed him the keys.

"drive safe."

rhaenyra gave him a knowing look as she ushered everyone away, leaving helaena to yell her goodbyes as she entered her mother's car.

jace turned to you after closing the trunk. he placed his hand on your back, the cold skin sending shivers down your spine through the thin material of your shirt as he guided you to the passenger seat.

he wondered if you could feel his hand trembling against your skin.

he didn't even really know why he had gotten nervous all of a sudden, maybe it was because he didn't really know how to start the conversation he needed to have with you. or maybe it was because after sara had told him what she told him, he had felt surprised, and then he had felt something else that he couldn't entirely name.

all he knew was that he felt somehow different about you now. he always knew you were kind, but he had never expected you to be kind enough, or care about him enough, to go out of your way to make sure he felt better. the thought brought a fluttering feeling to his stomach and forced him to stare at you deeply, wondering what you thought about him, as he opened the door for you.

the streets were mostly empty, and quiet, and he kept messing with the radio's volume to fill the silence. he really, really hoped that whatever slow song was playing entertained you enough to not notice how loud his heart seemed to beat.

his nervousness wasn't going away, no matter how many minutes passed or how many glances he stole your way. so, once he saw the small park he knew was only a couple blocks away from your house, he decided that it was better to say whatever came to mind first and figure things out from there.

"i told her i loved her."

you turned to jace, a strange, astounded sound coming out of your mouth.

"oh." your gaze moved between him and the road, wondering how to answer without making things awkward. you had definitely been hanging out far too much with helaena, because your reaction had been as accidentally tactless and casual as hers usually were. "so, what? she didn't say it back?"

you turned away from him, pretending to look through the window. at this point, you seriously considered opening the door and jumping from the car. why would you say it like that? you knew she hadn't, you obviously knew she hadn't.

if he saw you mouthing a quiet 'oh my god' to yourself through the window reflection, he had been kind enough not to mention it.

"uh, she did." he answered with a grimace, although you weren't sure if it was because of his words or yours.

"but?"

"she loves me, but she's not in love with me." he sighed and stopped at a red light, turning to you and speaking quietly, his voice mixing with the calm melody in the background. "thank you."

"me? why are you thanking me?" you were confused. had his eyes always been this big and sad? his voice this soft?

"i know you told her to talk to me."

"i'm sorry, helana and aegon told me what was going on. and i know it wasn't my place but—"

"i appreciate it. i really do."

"yeah, well, i'm glad you worked it out." the music changed to something slower, older, and the light illuminating his face turned green. "how do you feel?"

"weirdly better, i think." he hesitated, swallowing hard as he looked at the car roof. "it's good to know it wasn't my fault."

"but?"

"i don't know. i guess i just—" he hesitated again, looking down at his hands as they played with the strings of his hoodie. "i just have a hard time... when people leave."

you turned in your seat to face him, watching how the light reflected in his eyes.

"it'll get easier with time. i mean, she didn't completely leave, even if you're not together anymore, she still cares about you."

he kept biting his lip, and you felt the need to say more, to make him feel better. little did you know that need would be a big mistake, and it would come back to bite you in the ass sooner rather than later.

"you know, everyone was really excited when you played tonight, you looked happy, and you did a great job."

"you think i did a great job?" maybe you were being optimistic, but you were almost sure he sounded like he usually did whenever he teased someone, and you could finally see a real smile on his face.

"i do. i mean, i think you're my favorite now. might have to start wearing your number." you teased back before reaching for his hand and holding it tight. "seriously though, things are gonna be fine, i know that."

it was different, but he smiled again. with downturned lip corners, and prominent dimples, and softer eyes. there was a strange feeling in your stomach, and your breath caught in your throat. you had been in this car countless times, but it had never felt as small and intimate as it did right now, when jace smiled at you like that.

there was another sound in the background, buzzing distantly in your ears at first. then it grew insistent, demanding, getting louder and louder and pulling you away from a moment that you didn't completely understand. you didn't know when the car behind you appeared, but it's continuous honks cut through the silence, sharp and angry as they intruded in the quiet moment.

jace coughed, nervously looking away and pulling his hand out the window to apologize. you turned to the window again and took a deep breath, wondering what the hell that had been.

the rest of the drive had been somehow worse than the earlier one. the two of you sat quietly, stealing glances at each other as the radio host's voice filled the car.

once the car finally parked in front of your house you sent him a quick smile that probably looked more like a grimace and whispered a 'thank you' before rushing to the front door, still thinking about what had happened. and then you kept thinking about it. while saying goodbye to your parents, while cooking dinner, and while your little sister made you watch tangled for what was probably the fifth time that week.

you also thought about it in bed, turning over and over. you couldn't sleep, it wouldn't leave your mind. what was that? talking to jace had never felt like that before, and you weren't sure you liked that.

you finally fell asleep, after checking the time for what felt like the millionth time, and the thought occupied your dreams as well. the location changed, and the time, but it was always him, staring at you like that.

a loud ringing interrupted what was maybe the fourth dream you had (the one in which luke was playing videogames while things happened, and kept acting like nothing was going on while you were losing your mind), and you picked up your phone with a groan, not even bothering to look at the name on the screen. only one person would call you at midnight on a wednesday.

"hello?"

"i thought you said you wouldn't do it!" that was the first thing you heard when you picked up the phone, helaena yelling exitedly.

"do what?" you asked in the middle of a yawn, reaching blindly to turn the light on. "do you have any idea what time it is?"

"time isn't important, you lied to me! is it because you thought i would accidentally tell him?"

"tell what to who? what are you talking about?"

"the flirting with jace thing!"

that did the trick in waking you up.

"what? what are you talking about?" sitting up, you pulled the phone even closer, you needed an explanation, desperately. "helaena, what are you talking about?

"okay, so i was getting ready to go to bed and he told me he needed to talk to me, right? and then he started asking me a bunch of things about you and when i asked him why he was asking he told me what you told him in the car!"

she sounded far too excited, somehow loud and quiet at the same time, and her words kept repeating in your head.

"what kind of things?"

"like if i had told you to talk to sara or if you ever talked about him."

"so?"

"so, he hasn't smiled in weeks, but now he won't stop! you were right!" she sounded so excited you could practically hear her bouncing.

"hel, i'm sure he's just happy he worked things out with sara. driving me home had nothing to do with that."

"you don't get it, he had the smile, the smile. that means it worked!"

now you knew, you were absolutely, incredibly, fucked. because you knew exactly what helaena was talking about, because jace had his smile, and then he had the smile. it was different from the usual ones, it was the one rhaenyra gushed about fondly from his first crush, the one luke teased him with when he wanted to embarrass him. and, most importantly, the one you had never gotten to see in person, not until tonight.

"i'll see you tomorrow and we can figure out what to do next!"

"next? i wasn't flirting—" she hung up before you could answer, leaving you confusedly staring at the wall. your body collided against the mattress, thinking about the disaster you might have accidentally gotten yourself into, and trying to figure out how to fix it now that helaena was decided to see this through. "fuck."

[pinetreeshack]

oh my god. wow. absolutely magnificent

[lotus-pear]

i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

[gatorgrumbles]

YES GIVE HEART BOY CMERE ME GIVE WHOLE BODY

[astronnova]

doodles (as i avoid work) of the super awesome you wouldn't like me alive fic by @ectoplasmranch which i binge read in a 7 hour sitting yesterday