#these are several weeks old
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Still working on getting more free time hgguuhhhhhh have some FF OC sketches that's all I have rn
#these are several weeks old#work had be going in for 10 hours overtime then 12 mote hours right after each other this weekend but now im ACTUALLY FREE FOR REAL NOS#NOW*#anyway tags time#Fossil Fighters#world: fossil fighters#character: stygia#character: will#character: apocrypha#character: zinnius#character: unnamed#<- (thats the purple guy in āsomeone will die of funā he hasnt been named yet ill change this later)#character: adenine
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here just. just take these. take them. mania possessed me after viewing this movie
#elemental#pixar#YES i know cring cring haha cring#i just couldnt help it i had severe and total brain rot that i DONT get very often#these are a couple weeks old just never posted them#my art
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My favorite groupfailure
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#kabru#mickbell tomas#kuro#daya#holm kranom#rinsha fana#š -- handmade postcard#//all of these are like several weeks old but i'm finally sharing them#//i still have... more dunmesh art to share... and some are currently in the making rsefeg#//i'm so normal
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Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending
#I like to believe that there is a universe where they get to grow old together#just one#look once upon a time I read a fic that had me bawling my fuckin eyes out where they get to grow old together#I do want to say that I believe in personal growth and I think that Curt can 100% have a happy ending without Owen- where he can grow#away from that experience and where he can healthily cope with the trauma he ended up with#where he can find solace in something other than alcohol and where he can find it in himself to forge new relationships and build his#connections with people like Tatiana#etc etc#I just want to make it known that this is one of many happy endings that could happen#(amongst the several sad ones that I know also exist)#ALSO I wanted to draw the old men and I do what I want#but yeah something something if the universe is infinite /ref#maybe this is a universe where the banana incident never happened and they were able to retire together#ough#the curtwen feels are really getting me today#I adore them#also I used a new brush ive been having fun with this past week#doesnāt it look cool?#I really like drawing with it and I like how it looks so#we might be seeing more of this one in the future#although 6b is still my guy#damn yāknow hypothetically- if Owen (depending on the au) and Curt lived to be in their 60s (at least) they would witness the first Pride#god can you imagine that?#At the very least Curt being around for stonewall and everything that came after that with queer rights#FUCK anyways#fun fact: a group of frogs is called an army#isnāt that cute#reminds me of that one person on TikTok that raised like a thousand frogs- they had a literal army of frogs#crazy#curtwen week
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what a nice happy group of siblings i sure hope nothing bad happens to them- oh
Eekto, the eldest; quiet, but responsible and loving towards its family / the quiet āheadā of the family, always in danger of drowning in its own saliva
Nock, the second oldest; a lively chatterbox who tries to befriend anyone it meets / a lively chatterbox who tries to befriend anyone it meets, even if it canāt see how bleak its life is
Matrix, the middle; an aspiring inventor with a passion for technology / a misguided inventor with a passion for body modification but no regard for anyone but themself
Fraktal, the second youngest; a witty jewelry enthusiast whoās always there to help its loved ones / a mangled wreck, with whatever remains of its past self forever trapped in its decaying brain
Zyphur, the youngest; a shy and introverted lover of insects who looks up to all its dearly beloved siblings / a shy and isolated individual who wishes it was the one who died that day
+ full versions of both
#my singing monsters#wubbox#msm oc#fanart#sketch#matrix#zyphur#chimera#god should i tag chimera's components individually...#poor zyphur. itd kill itself but it knows matrix would just revive it every time. it's too useful to them#posted this in a discord server and one person responded with āi admire how you can give wubboxes severe traumaā#taking that quote and pinning it on my wall. thank you i try#anyways woe! more ethereal siblings content be upon ye. the art is a few weeks old but theyre still on my mind every day#body horror cw#ask to tag?? i unno#edit I accidentally referred to matrix as zyphur in the description OOPS!!! donāt post at midnight while youāre sleepy kids
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Prayer
#warframe#albrecht entrati#warframe loid#loid entrati#warframe fanart#uhh sorry this took so long#12+ hours but also several weeks of me fretting about it not being good enough#old man yaoi brainrot got me down bad#digital art#procreate
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every day im reminded that though my parents may have wanted a dog they clearly did not want to take care of a dog
#and i KNEW this which was why i insisted on not getting dogs though they keep trying to gaslight me#into thinking that i agreed on the dogs. i didnt and i wish id railed against it harder#because ill be honest i knew i didnt want to take care of a dog i wasnt in the headspace#but i also knew that if they got the dog that the actual caring duties would be foisted off to me#and the things that They would have to do ie go to the vet nd pay the bills etc theyd complain about and avoid#and thats one thjng. but oh my fucking god. my dad specifically#its like hes trying to get these dogs to die. we have several plants in the backyard#bad for dogs. i point them out. i have pointed them out Several times.#theyre his plants the gardens his thats none of my things. he just goes oh they wont get into them#THEYRE DOGS. but he doesnt want to move his fucking plants#one of the dogs is on medicine but has a habit of not eating his food in the morning#which means if u leave his medicine in hjs bowl the other dog might eat it#one solution is to give him the tablet straight. because hes good about eating it#he doesnt want to because 'thats gross'. Are you five fucking years old#the dog doesnt like the texture of dry food so another solution is to wet it#dad wont do that either because 'hes too spoiled' and 'it takes time' ONE MINUTE?????????#like i have to assume this is some kind of ploy to make me do it instead when i dont wake up that early#because if its not then hes truly just incompetent or doesnt care about the dogs#which brings me back to WHY DID YOU GET THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.#im sick of having to worry about them when he just does shit like this its wasting my time and its wasting money#but ohhhh we dont want to give the dogs away theyre part of the family š„ŗ#CLEARLY. because apparently u wanted kids but didnt want to take care of them either!!#im pissed off!!! im tired!!!!!!!!#i need to know im not going batshit here for being pissed off!!!!!#the dogs are getting back to back problems and at least some of it would have been mitigated by oh.#i dont know. the bare minimum?????#at least if the plants had been taken care of i wouldnt have to wonder if theyd just gotten into them#or if its an actual problem like a mass or bite. but no now i dont know#and at this rate were going to waste money going to the vet every fucking week
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@theneutralmime
Obi-Wan and Yoda have no obligations to the Rebellion. There isn't even a Rebellion to be obligated TO when they go into hiding initially. And Obi-Wan IS doing his duty to the Rebellion by protecting one of Anakin's children (they believe Anakin's children might be the only people ultimately capable of taking down the Sith, but they also know that if Anakin and Palpatine get ahold of Luke and Leia and turn them into Sith, all hope is lost). Obi-Wan also clearly has a direct communication to Bail and Breha that they can utilize in dire need, so he's not completely removed from the Rebellion.
Obi-Wan and Yoda are intended to be last resorts. They're considered public enemy #1 to the Empire and if they were out there more obviously fighting in the Rebellion, they'd be getting constantly hunted down by the Empire's full might and probably wouldn't last very long. They might even, at least in the beginning, be more of a hindrance than a help because they could draw attention to a fledgling Rebellion and end up killing it before it has a chance to grow at all. Obi-Wan and Yoda are people the Rebellion has in their back pocket for if all hope is about to be lost and they need to pull out a miracle.
There aren't enough Jedi left to force the few survivors to keep fighting on the front lines, especially when there's next to zero support to keep them from being immediately hunted down and murdered by the Empire. It helps nobody to do that. Ahsoka fights from the shadows for most of her tenure in the Rebellion, but we see in the Kenobi show how quickly Obi-Wan is discovered when he does leave Tatooine. It's a matter of a few DAYS before the Empire is on his tail and he barely manages to escape with the help of other people.
I do think that the whole purpose of Obi-Wan and Yoda being in hiding has been made a little muddied by all of the Jedi characters who have been shown to be fighting in the Rebellion (Ahsoka, Cal, Kanan and Ezra) and so now people go "well if they could do it, why couldn't Obi-Wan and Yoda?" And I get that, but I feel like it misses the point of why Obi-Wan and Yoda chose to go into hiding in the first place. They're protecting the potential future of the Jedi and the last Force sensitive children they even know are left to protect, as well as protecting themselves as potential future assets to the Rebellion and the fight against the Sith and the Empire.
#star wars#obi-wan kenobi#yoda#i started this draft a week ago and then had to run a week long event and i no longer remember if i had other thoughts#i feel like this gets my feelings on this issue across well enough still though#obi-wan and yoda did the best they could in the wake of the genocide of their entire culture#they were not obligated to keep fighting and dying for a rebellion that didn't even exist yet#and remaining in hiding doesn't mean they AREN'T doing anything helpful#obi-wan and yoda are the last remaining jedi masters that they know of too#if their culture is going to survive then they ALSO need to survive in order to pass it along to the next generation#and as far as they know in that moment the next generation is several hours old at best so there's nothing they'll be able to do for YEARS#people claiming obi-wan and yoda abandoned the rebellion or whatever are just being assholes about it
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Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:
Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic
[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]
Flashbacks
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]
Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]
Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]
Extreme alertness/hypervigilance
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]
Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]
Feeling like you have to keep busy
[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]
Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive
[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]
Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]
Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(
[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]
Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard
[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]
Blaming yourself for what happened
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]
Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame
#all this wasn't going to fit into my gon analysis but i still wanted to cover it#when i say he was genuinely traumatized i. actually seriously mean that.#note that this does NOT mean he had ptsd!!! ptsd should only be diagnosed if symptoms continue for several weeks to a month#after being removed from the traumatic situation#given that the trauma was ongoing this does not count! we could only say he has ptsd if somehow these symptoms persist when#he's back on whale island after the fact. but honestly i doubt they would#however. in caa? yeah 100% he was very traumatized by kite's death#hence all the trauma symptoms i listed above. poor little guy :(#storyrambles#hxh#gon freecss#this post hurt me to make btw. ow. ow.#i also. cruel as it is i genuinely like that gon's trauma fueled breakdown was. not palatable. like he is genuinely really scary there#and it's REALLY hard to watch and listen to#i really get why killua felt so helpless there.#like. your best friend is incredibly fucking volatile and very obviously wants to and is intending to run himself into the ground#because he feels he deserves it#what the hell is the other thirteen year old supposed to do here. :(
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massive doodle dump
+ egg
suppose this is probably a good chance to plug my toyhouse? I have a toyhouse now: https://toyhou.se/ArdienotheSieno
#this has been sitting in my drafts for several weeks now. i just keep doodling more things and adding to it lol#some of these are reaaaaaally old#doodles#oc#ashes from above#thirteen fireflies#ag glory#ag fractal#rw ancients#rw sunstone#keianna#wynn
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I'm going to say some possibly contradictory things, thinking out loud about stuff I've seen and conversations I've been in:
On the one hand, there is a cultural norm of not publicly badmouthing fic (sometimes with an exception for racism, but not even always then), and I get where that comes from, we are all doing a thing for free and for fun
On the other hand, if you are going off a limb creatively then there's a reasonable chance that someone is going to react badly to it, and people are sometimes going to say out loud that they don't like something and in a way that feels judgey
I say this as a person who has both gone off on some limbs* and also has some negative opinions that I mostly keep to my damn self/DMs/etc**
idek what the "middle ground" looks like, and I think there's a grace we can extend to each other that we are going to disagree, and also an ability to know what criticism you care about (and from whom and about what), and to decide when it's enough to say something in a broader forum, and that all of those boundaries are different for different people
*I KNOW there is shit out there complaining about the ship I mostly wrote in TAZ, as in other people who wrote it got some kind of nasty asks back in the day. there was a whole thing inside one of the groups I was in where someone got kinda bitchy on tumblr vagueblogging about something that Ryn and I wrote and I was SO ANNOYED but also decided not to make a thing out of it. I also assume there are people who are squicked etc by my carlita writing, probably even people I like and respect, and that is entirely their right, it's pretty out there tbh.
**including about fic written by people who I like and respect!
#[wanders back out into the middle of the street with the sign that just says NUANCE]#several times in the last few weeks I have been reminded of the old Justin McElroy tweet#āthe first amendment protects you from the government not the Justinā#which sort of applies in all directions#am I vagueblogging? maybe! am I going to be more specific? NO
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Maybe if I told you the right words Ooh, at the right time, you'd be mine
FELLOW TRAVELERS VALENTINE'S DAY MONTH Week 1: FAVORITES - favorite song that makes you think of them ā³ Tracy Chapman - Baby Can I Hold You + FELLOW TRAVELERS 1.08 āMake It Easyā
#fellow travelers#ft valentineās day#āhow do I love theeā let me count the weeksā¦ā#fellowtravelersedit#hawkins fuller#tim laughlin#tim x hawk#hawk x tim#valentines day#fandom event#1x08#tracy chapman#baby can i hold you#lyrics#old men in love#my edits#i had fun playing with text so ended up doing a thing... (pls ignore that this is fully a week late) šš«¶#the fact that so many tracy songs fit them so well??!! (i've been listening to all her albums on repeat for several many days)#it hurt to spell favourites without the āuā š„²
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Shut up and take a princess Chay dancing with the hummingbirds from the sketch vault. OvO
(happy birthday og eggos miss you)
#This is several months old from one of the first times in roses sanctuary#Tallulah and Phil were calling him the hummingbird princess I think#Anyway happy bday eggos I canāt believe itās been awhile year omg#I was going to do a group piece with all 8 but ran out of time so instead you get this lol#Alrighty gn!#qsmp#qsmp eggs#Weekly art post#<- probably bc I have a lot this week#mcyt#fanart#my art#Qsmp chayanne#qsmp sketch#qsmp art#qsmp fanart#Could this sketch be better? Yes but itās not and thatās ok
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Years and years from now, I'll look back at this part of my life, specifically this summer, and just vividly remember how genuinely fun it's been to be a part of the QSMP fandom. Like, seriously, I don't think I've seen a community so fun and engaging to interact with- everyday, I'm just so amazed by the love and support everyone has for this server; the fanart, animations, clips, edits, etc. genuinely made my summer this year. And I hope there will be more moments to look back on and reminisce in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.
#qsmp#man i just know that when im all old and stuff ill just suddenly remember how much i adored a certain minecraft server#or maybe even one year or several months from now ill just pull up jaiden's vod from today and just re-experience all the warm and fuzzies#once again#like i will certainly come back to this day several weeks from now and just rewatch the streams over and over again
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send good vibes to the universe for me guys, my oral exam that will determine whether or not i can get in this school is in about twelve hours, so far im coping with stress fairly well, but ask me again in about 8 hours when ive had some sleep šš
#*hopefully* i'll sleep#im honestly embracing the 'what will be will be' state of mind#ive survived worse than this#that mean class of 8th graders i had to teach for 10 months as an innocent 1st year teacher for example#you dont know what its like to be judged and mocked by 30 twelve year olds several times a week until you live it#anyway this should be easier š#but this will also determine whether or not my life is about to drastically change so no pressure š#personal#back to school
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I auād too close to the sun and now Iām in love with a character I have to create all the content forš§
#itās buck and tommys daughter btw. I love her so fucking much what do you mean Iāll never see her on my tv screen#molly mumbles#likeā¦.drawing her as an adult when the plot of the fic doesnāt progress past her being more than several weeks old#help meā¦.someone help me
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