#these are really shitty but i havent drawn anything in FOREVER

[crink]

watchin impulse' season 9 :333

[leafy-wings]

Turtle,,? (For the ask meme)

for this ask meme!

Sexuality Headcanon: oh you know he is a fruit Gender Headcanon: hits turtle with beam of turns you transgender. i really like the dynamic of trans character in monarchys where its discussed if they just did it to avoid responsibility but id like to emphasize that if you do that plot point uhm please be trans and also no people do not become trans for leverage, ever. i also think hed probably get into some mogai gender [affectionate] like identifying with moss or something A ship I have with said character: listen listen listen. turtle x winter. like there is little canon establishment for it but i like the headcanons that can tumble out of my shitty little brain for this. like theyre both royals and of all the characters winter is less mean to turtle because hes quiet, like he thinks that turtle is weird and acts improper but i think thered be a lot of good royalty discussion between the two of them and arguing gently about the ethics of the situations theyre in. i think that in a relationship turtle needs someone who is gentle that he can confide in, he loves the jade winglet for being exciting and getting him out of his shell which he DID need but getting active and out there is a lot of work and id think itd be best for him to have someone he can just settle beside and not have to worry about doing too much with. comfort! i think that by arc 3 winter would be more understanding of turtle and more willing to help him in a way that would help himself, like they both realize looking at each other theyve got issues in the same ways and that addressing the others issues will help them address their own. but they do it all slowly at a gentle pace. i just think the both of them need someone gentle who doesnt shove them out of their comfort zone. A BROTP I have with said character: TURTLE AND PERIL FOREVER BABY!!!!!! they get each other out of their comfort zones, either to do more or less... but theyre only good in hour increments together or else turtle gets too stressed or peril gets too excited </3  A NOTP I have with said character: turtle and kinkajou, again nothing really wrong with it i just dont see anything between them and i like it when characters are gay. i understand the peppy/hesitant dynamic but i cant help but feel like turtle would either be too in awe or too hesitant for it to be good for him. and i just dont like school children dating. sorry. also i fucking fucking HATE peril x turtle considering that by arc 3 turtle is 5 and peril is EIGHT!! she is a young adult. also again the thing i said before about someone who is too feisty would probably be more uncomfortable than exciting for him, plus she is so dense that i think if they ever got into a relationship theyd have soo many issues between one of them having lived almost twice as long as the other, perils intensive frightening backstory and continual issues into her adulthood, and turtle still being highly traumatized from neglect. theyd get problems with each other and then never address it and peril would just get madder at shit turtle does that she wont address and turtle will jsut get more frightened at peril about shit he wont address. bad chemistry A random headcanon: i think turtle would love painting. painting is just visual writing! i think hed love making dramatic scenes with abstract imagery and then get upset when others dont understand the symbolism hes put into it and the emotion and story behind what hes drawn, like “oh you cant see in his eyes that hes just lost his lover which has parallels to him losing everything hes had before, killing him inside, but now in this instance he has learned strength where previously he froze up and is seeing this as symbolic vengence for his former failure, stressed in his pose and tensed muscles? the bubbles represent the loss of innocence and i havent drawn any eyeshine to show hes lost everything. i cant believe you dont understand my work” but he loves info dumping about his work to his friends. they all sit around him and clap while he talks about some insane bullshit.  General Opinion over said character: i love this guy hes literally one of my favorites. i think that hes written a bit too mysterious and suave in book 6 where in talons of power it turns out hes just a weepy baby, but i love weepy baby insecure turtle, even if the turn is weird and his previous behavior seems ooc. its believable. i think turtle deserves better. 

THE DANGEROUS GIFT SPOILERS BELOW

am i going insane or is turtle just NOT in the dangerous gift? never mentioned even once? like where did he go. what happened to him. did he get lost at see or some shit? tsunami comes up like “i can tell you about pantala, i was there! yep, i was the only one” like BITCH WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thyrideneverends]

(2017)

Escritos que encontre del año 2017 . Y conversaciones conmigo desde el año 2020 ([]).

____________________________ AAAHGH IM SO FUCKING SAD. I cant help but feel that im rotting. I dont want pity; people helping; people empathizing. FUCK YOU. I can do better than you. I DO. In fact. I havent been blinded, and hate everything around me as an excuse for giving my life away for what it was supposed to be. [this could be missunderstod since i was clearly angry 4 something i dont recall, I was refering to people in general, how they put themselves above the others, how they always wanna get "there" first, how they talk trash about their relationships, the anger, the hate that breeds out of them when they are wronged(even if there`s no purpose or whatsoever to cause them, specifically, any troubles), the screaming, the violence, that kind of hate..]

I dont want to just 'be happy' because I have to; so I reject happiness. But I want to feel it like something real and not made up.. does that makes sense? Thats a paradox i cant escape lately. [thats deep man, fortunately we figured that out. Have we figured that out? Happiness now is closed for manteinance ^-^ ]

I cant find pleasure in anything.. I destroyed everything..[you had to start somewhere, right?] I cant find meaning in anything.

I just need someone, i just need not to be alone. But I am; Even surrounded by everyone. I know I am. I know you are too.. I hope you are strong enough to endure it.

[hablabas de otro tipo de soledad, lo se, pero vos todavia no lo sabias, o si?]

_______________________

Sometimes I feel like I forgot an important part of being alive. I remember a different version of myself from a few years back. I feel like I'm just existing; nothing pushes my happy button. And when I'm not strong enough to think that it's fine; that I don't need that.. I will just panic questioning myself why, the reason for me not belonging. I know it's fine; I know I can just spend the rest of my..50years left? just doing this; living this eternal circling hell. You might say it's a choice.. That I don't put that much effort into it. That I'm just playing this part. Complaining my ass off. And to that.. I can only say I'm sorry.. I'm doing the best I can. [I know you were.. truly; and u did a great job never letting me down] _________________________________________

Why are we even here right.. What powers you? You wake up, work or study, ingest food, sleep. Repeat. To finish your career and become something.. To earn enough money to become someone.. Be better in what you're doing or you'll be out. You'll be useless. You'll be garbage. We[the system] won't need you.. And then we have to be happy about it.. We have to function collectively happy and there's no room for the outcasts.. And IM to blame for it.. I could be happy like all of them.. But I'm just sitting my ass here thinking what else I can sabotage, in order to understand why it's unnecessary and wish to be also capable of that... Just capable maybe of.. not be weird; not be me.. And sometimes thats all that matters. That Im me.. And I love not being a part of them. I just can never get a hold of that moment and make it last.. I will feel alone just a moment after. [Im so glad we worked our loneliness, I mean, we have such fine moments in silence..]

____________________________________________

Aah... I was just given advice by a hot girl on tinder about how should I type, express and resume myself so the person on the other side of the screen won't stop replying thinking I'm an idiot.. She basically said :- "hey, you're an idiot but maybe a cute one. Here's human help. Just stop being you and people will like you" Y'know what? that's bullshit... It makes me so anxious that it happens all the time. There's always someone judgin. Not only online; real life is the worst. I just don't fit in here I guess. I'll keep talking with the tinder girl, maybe and get emptynessly laid, why not? But I think I hate this.. I hate that everything craves for a definition and people just won't LOOK; Im hidden among them... God how I wish to know who's there ravaging their brains with questions while walking in that empty crowd. I wish I could find you and ask just what you were thinking there. At that unique moment. You are not alone... But if you feel like I do; I wonder if you also wonder. I wonder if we're just very far away from each other.. I wonder if it`s true that there can only be one of us by this cosmic rule that goes: only one 'you/me' for every thousand people. Or.. maybe it's just me. Too old to be an idiot... Too idiot to fully be himself around smart well adjusted people. I guess it's a matter of perspective. isn't it pretty much all? Have a good night stranger.. [Not so stranger.. my dude.. U didn't get laid btw, you couldn't pull through with that. And then you promised you wouldn't lie about who you are.. You wouldn't ever play another role other than the one you are. Well, it was more like a statement than a promise, to yourself. I was there.. Best decision you ever made. You mutated loneliness into a condition, a simple symptom of your choice of living; instead of a disease on itself.. Very clever.]

_____________________________________________

You don't have to read but if you wanna unload please write it down. Everything u hate.. or love; This I wrote on my personal account but it makes me anxious to open myself to judgy people, so I erased it.. We live to judge because we love fixing things that didn't go right with us. Never understanding each perspective is unique. Well Im gonna paste it here because I don't want to lose it.. I don't want something I really meant to be just a deleted thing..(even if it is)

Have u ever felt like you're unique or different?   But then just analyzing, we all just walk towards and objective. We don't do things just because. You don't get up every day to just go to work.. to just have breakfast or go shopping, idk; people set goals. We follow patterns. We repeat the same exact thing to strangers of the streets. The same exact things other strangers reply to us.. We are the same NPCs to others. And then realizing this I just wanna scream PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS. Please look at me! I don't want this. I don't want to be aware of this.. I don't want to feel I'm just to you what you guess I am. What's the point of everything? How do I get to know who I am if I'm always this self-centered stupid attempt of somebody? Nobody wants that. Sometimes I am glad to be "awake". To be different from the other people in their bubbles... But most of the time I'd give EVERYTHING to be exactly like that. Because I feel lonely. Because I have so many friends, but we can't communicate. Because I've lost the ideal of love because at a certain point I was scared of being a problem and it hurts so fucking much. I don't think I am special.. or more intelligent or cultural, I just feel I have a different degree of "profoundness" than most other people. It's not something I talk about or show, most of the time i pretend to fit in, but I don't. I can fool myself for periods, I've fooled myself for so many years now, but in the end it always comes back, I can't hide it forever. it hurts so much. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse and I feel like a fucking show-off that just wants attention..

[I felt that.. dude. You write beautifully..]

_____________________________________________

Hi person reading this. Be nice, life is full of shitty people. Make a tiny difference; someday we're all gonna die so its cool. Dont hold grudges ^^ . [^^]

______________________________________________

We are all just internet jesters shitposting to fill the void Even if you're just taking selfies and being beautiful while loving life, smiling to nothing and eating healthy shit while showing off the new place you just visited to a bunch of strangers that doesn't give a fuck about you .. (actually those are the worsts) yeah.. (Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's bad. I do that too ! we like showing ourselves to others..) Screaming... I exist. Notice me sempai. We just are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

________________________________________________ *draw of myself* [couldnt find it anywhere, where did u put it D: . i remember the sad expression] I know It has a lot of imperfections but so do I. I guess this is how I see myself.. Maybe I just wanted it to be like that. To express something to myself. I still feel like a little kid sometimes even tho I'm 25; "I just can't play with the other kids because I feel different and they make me feel different." Now I can't play with the adults, they're too adults. They make me feel too adult; i need to act up every move to become like them. And then alone, I can be at peace being who I wanna be; But it gets lonely from time to time; Not being able to understand who are you really; where are you really above the necessity of impersonating this other dude to get laid, get the job, get the money. And for what?.. Just to keep doing it because there is really no other choice.. How sad. But anyway. Ever tried to draw yourself? To see what's the image of you that you hold in your head.. if u truly do it; it doesn't matter if you know or not how to proyect yourself.. Every trace you make on that paper is a creation this world has never seen.. your chance to make a difference; it doesn't have to be trendy or impact in mankind. I suppose that's what I call art. And that's why art is everywhere.. Everything that can never be repeated.. Anything that comes from you; or life itself. A random amount of dirt.. Sunlight getting through the leaves of a tree.. Pieces of a broken cup and the stain of coffee in the carpet.. I'm not an artist myself tho; never considered myself even close to one.. I haven't drawn in years.. This is my first one in a long time; I just felt like it.

________________________________________________

[moonjs]

i’ve been tagged in so many things & Im so excited to do these i just have no idea who tagged me and im sorry i have shitty memory and i’ll just tag a lot of you :’)  click keep reading♥

TAG 10:

tagged by @4oppa @justacommonpepe (and many more idkTT)

rules: tag 10 people you would like to get to know better

name/nickname: everyone calls me yoko or yoki idk relationship status: single :’’’’) favorite color: baby pink (and i dont own anything in that color lol) last song i listened to: DAY6 "You Were Beautiful” favorite tv show: ....every crime tv show ever made i just dont know the names kill me... first fandom: i think it was 1D? :’’’’)))) hobbies: lying in bed,drinking tea/coffee,crying over jungkook mhm but tbh i like to draw but i like to think im no that good so i havent drawn anything in months :(.I also really like long walks (: books that im currently reading: im not reading anything rn (just long fanfics tbh) worst thing i’ve eaten: something with potato and onion and i wanted to trow up favorite place: my bed tbh

GET TO KNOW ME TAG:

tagged by: @4oppa @r-m (and many more idk TT ilyyy)

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better

NICKNAME: yoko

GENDER: female

STAR SIGN: aquarius

HEIGHT: 168 cm

TIME RIGHT NOW: 8:15pm

LAST THING GOOGLED: hwarang ep16 :’)

FAVOURITE BANDS (not mentioning any kpop): Nirvana,Arctic Monkeys,The 1975,The Neighbourhood,30STM,Guns n Roses,Paramore...i cant think of many bcz my brain decides to shut down every time I do tags :P

FAVOURITE SOLO ARTISTS: I really dont know

SONG STUCK IN YOUR HEAD: Bts-24/7=heaven

LAST MOVIE WATCHED: Dont breathe

LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED: Does SpongeBob Squarepants count?

WHEN DID YOU CREATE YOUR BLOG: 3 or 4 years ago idk

WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU POST: aesthetics, food, kpop, text, animals

WHEN DID YOUR BLOG REACH ITS PEAK: idk? has it?

DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BLOGS: nope just this one

DO YOU GET ASKS REGULARLY: meh,once in a week or two?

WHY YOU CHOSE YOUR URL: bcz my first bias was suga and i didnt even know bts that much back then but i still love him a lot♥

FOLLOWING: 4,429 :’)

POSTS: 31,983..........wow

HOGWARTS HOUSE: ravenclaw

POKEMON TEAM: idk i watched pokemon as i kid and i dont even know there were teams? :’)

FAVOURITE COLOURS: black,nudes,red...

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 6 hours on a school day

LUCKY NUMBERS: dont have that

FAVOURITE CHARACTERS: i dont knoooow i just watched a lot of shit and i love all of them i dont have a favouriteTT

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW: black pants and an oversized black hoodie hehe:3

HOW MANY BLANKETS DO YOU SLEEP WITH: 2

DREAM JOB: teaching english? i still dont know but i hope its related to english and traveling

DREAM TRIP: to england pls? someone take me? also tokyo pls?

ALPHABETICAL TAG GAME:

tagged by: @r-m

A - AGE: 19 B - BIGGEST FEAR: insects  C - CURRENT TIME: 8:20pm D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: black coffee E - EVERY DAY STARTS WITH: regret F - FAVOURITE SONG: i dont have a fave i just love enjoying music and my fave song changes every week :’) G - GHOSTS, ARE THEY REAL?: idk really H - HOMETOWN: not important,the smallest town in the fing world I - IN LOVE WITH: bts, flowers,dogs,kittens,beautiful movies/animes,the sea(pls take me ive never seen it in my life but i love it),sunsets, @junghotkookie J - JEALOUS OF: everyone successful,happy,anf who wants to steal my friends K - KILLED SOMEONE: yeah, killed their expectations of me L - LAST TIME YOU’VE CRIED: yesterday over an anime M - MIDDLE NAME: dont have one :’) N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1 O - ONE WISH: to be happy for real P -  PERSON YOU’VE LAST CALLED / TEXTED: uh my waifu @cozychim Q -  QUESTIONS YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKED: whats going on with you?? (and i really dont know tbh) R -  REASONS TO SMILE: @junghotkookie hehe :’) S - SONGS LAST SANG:  DAY6 "You Were Beautiful” T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 10am U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: ....black V - VACATION DESTINATION: idk i just want to go out of my country  W - WORST HABIT: not replying in a group chat (im the ‘’seen’’ person) X - X-RAYS YOU’VE HAD: tooth? Y - YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD: chicken Z - ZODIAC SIGN: aquarius

ARMY TAG:

tagged by: @rapmonhyuk ♥

WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BIAS WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED STANNING BTS?

suga and everyone else

WHO IS YOUR CURRENT BIAS?

jungkook

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BANGTAN BOMB?

its the cutest here

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BTS SONG?

every song ever they ever made

WHICH MEMBER IS YOUR BIAS WRECKER?

tae & hobi

WHICH MEMBER APPEARS IN YOUR DREAMS THE MOST?

jungkook lol

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BTS MV?

i need u series

WHICH BTS CHOREOGRAPHY DO YOU DANCE TO MOST OFTEN?

i just watch them i cant dance :’)

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AN ARMY?

10 months

WHICH ALBUM TRACKLIST IS YOUR FAVOURIT

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Young Forever

WHICH ALBUM ART IS YOUR FAVOURITE?

hyyh

WHICH MEMBER WOULD YOU CHOSE TO BE YOUR HUSBAND?

jungkook or hobi

RANDOM TAG GAME:

tagged by: @r-m and idkkk

rules: go to this website:

www.random.org/lists

and pick 15 of your bias/faves

1. MUM/DAD:

jhope(bts)....ok :’)

2. SIBLING:

jungkook(bts) (NOOOO)

3. GRANDMA/GRANDPA:

joonie(bts) :’)

4. HAUNTS YOU:

jooheon (monstax)

5. GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND:

jaehyun (NCT127) yes :3

6. YOUR EX:

dean :(

7. YOUR BEST FRIEND:

taehyung(bts)

8. PROPOSED TO YOU:

johnny….:”) (NCT127)

9. YOUR BOSS:

jackson ;)

10. RANDOM PERSON YOU MEET AT THE BAR:

minho (shinee)

11. RIVAL:

jenny (blackpink)

12. FIRST KISS:

yoongi ushduhasudhihausihduhasudhua (bts)

13. SUGARHIGH AND SINGING KARAOKE:

minhyuk (monstax) 

14. PLAYED 7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN WITH:

wonho (monstax)

15. GAVE YOU YOUR FAVOURITE DESSERT:

jisoo (blackpink)  

SHUFFLE TAG

Instructions: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 mutuals. tagged by @4oppa @r-m   -Mini Dresses-Sad eyes -Jooheon-Rhythm -Agust D-So far away -2NE1-Godbye -Bts-young forever -Bts-intro Boy meets evil -AOA-Excuse me -Agust D-Tony Montana -HEIZE-star -Bts-just one day finally I tag @parksjmin @junghotkookie @sugasangel @4oppa @cozychim @seaokjin @ultranicolet @mochi-nochu @hobitaki @hob-e @jiminsangel @jiminsangeleyes @sugahues @4hyung @jeonggeuk @yoongiftyugyeom @sugaappa @chimbunny @illicitblue @bangbangbangtanboys7 @j11min @jokekook @rapgodguk @rapgodjjk @savemebybts @joonqi @ydaegu @yoongijevadevojka @cypherknj @kookiebaen @okiidokey @tanktoptiger @cuteguk and anyone who wants to do it just tag me