#these are mostly my personal feelings based off my own gender struggles and how my trans friends have made my life happier | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

t4tstarrailing · 4 months

Text

afab, amab, fem, and masc: basic terminology 101

hi! are you wanting to be more inclusive towards trans audience members and are an x-reader writer? well, this is the guide for you!

my name is jules and i'm a trans x-reader writer. i focus mostly on true gn!readers, trans!m!readers, and cis!m!readers. i also like to read x-reader fics. unfortunately, i struggle to find x-reader fics to read, because i don't want to risk having my gender dysphoria triggered. and i am hoping that this guide will help you be more accessible to trans readers.

and you may have seen this guide before and yes, that was also me. i lost the post, am too lazy to go and look for it, and i am also a certified yapper and would like to add some additional things.

so in this guide, i am going to be over the terms afab, amab, fem, and masc; explaining how i see people using them incorrectly and what they actually mean; explaining what words you should be using in what scenarios; how to be even more inclusive towards trans readers; and emphasizing why trans isn't a dirty word.

if you are trans yourself, please feel free to add any additional notes or experiences that you have personally had, especially in fandom spaces. and if you aren't trans yourself and want to double-check yourself, see if any of your trans mutuals are willing to chat about it! sometimes they aren't, sometimes they are, but don't be afraid to ask.

so what do the terms afab and amab mean, and where do they come from?

simply put, afab means "assigned female at birth" and amab means "assigned male at birth". it means the doctor looked at you at birth and designated your gender based off your genital presentation.

the terms were never intended to describe someone's present sexual anatomy. in fact, they come from the intersex community and how doctors designate intersex individuals at birth, either surgically or sometimes taking a guess. the terms, however, have been adopted by the wider community, sometimes successfully but many times unsuccessfully.

i see a lot of people using these terms to designate what sexual anatomy the reader has, which is wildly incorrect. not every afab person has a pussy. some afab people have dicks. not every amab person has a dick. some amab people have pussies. not every afab person with a pussy refers to their anatomy as a pussy. sometimes they call it a front hole or just a hole. not every amab person with a dick calls it a dick. sometimes they call it a strap, or they call their own hole a pussy.

afab and amab should also not be used in sfw settings. you're more than likely looking for a different term, such as masc!reader or fem!reader, or just f!reader or m!reader.

what terms are frequently used by the trans community to refer to their anatomy?

bro, there are so many. off the top of my head, for trans men and trans masc, there's front hole, mancunt, boybox, boypussy. for trans women and trans fems, the only ones i can think of off the top of my head is girlcock, girldick, and strap.

when in doubt, go the gender-neutral route and say "hole" or "chest" if you're referring to the chest/breast area.

with that being said, there's nothing wrong with trans men calling their anatomy a pussy or trans women calling their anatomy a dick. in fact, many do.

however, there does come a point where it becomes a tad bit uncomfortable seeing non-trans men/mascs people insistent on using pussy/cunt for trans men and mascs, or non-trans women/fems insistent on using dick/cock for trans women and fems. especially if people flatout refuse to entertain the idea of using other words that trans folks may find more comfort in, or force the character to conform to characteristics stereotypically associated with the anatomy (eg. usually assertive guy in canon is depicted as being submissive and needy [example: dr. ratio in honkai star rail, childe in genshin impact, kabru in dungeon meshi], only difference being he's being written with a pussy. usually quiet girl in canon is depicted as being a dommy mommy [example: hanya in honkai star rail, ayaka in genshin impact, falin in dungeon meshi], with the only difference being she's being written with a dick)

so what do fem and masc mean?

fem and masc just refer to gender presentation. it doesn't have anything to do with gender or assigned gender at birth. fem =/= female, masc =/= male. fem cis gay guys exist, masc cis women exist.

so if i go into a fanfic and it's labeled fem!reader, i'd expect a fem reader with a slightly more feminine gender presentation. words like perfume, clothes like skirts or dresses, etc. if i go into a fanfic and it's labeled masc!reader, i'd expect a reader with a slightly more masculine gender presentation. words like cologne, clothes like suits and ties, etc.

nuance: yes, this is a very basic breakdown of gender and gender presentation. mascs wear skirts and fems wear suits, i am well aware of that fact. but this is fandom, and this is what i have personally noticed in fandom spaces. i'm not trying to teach gender studies 101. i just want to read fanfics.

how are these terms being misused? again, it is improperly designating the reader's sexual anatomy. fem does not automatically mean pussy. some fems have dicks. masc also does not automatically mean dick. some mascs have pussies. these terms also do not have anything to do with sexual preferences. some fems like to top and/or dom, some mascs like to bottom and/or sub.

if you're wanting to designate a female reader, the most common usage i see is f!reader. same with male reader using m!reader. if you're wanting to specify that you're writing a cis reader, you can always write cis!f!reader or cis!m!reader.

is your reader truly gender neutral?

there's been a few times where i'll go into a fic that's labelled as gender neutral and be slapped with gendered terms. most of the time it's a one and done thing, but other times it'll be throughout the fic and i'll need to exit out of it. and, to be honest, a lot of the time i just chalk it up to people not editting.

my advice is just comb through your work very carefully. look for any instances of gendered terms, like pronouns or pet names or descriptions of clothing. if someone is willing, find a beta reader to go over it and maybe pick up on something you've missed. learning to degender your thinking is difficult given how heavily a gendered world we live in, and people are bound to slip up every once in a while. hell, i do it as well and find myself having to correct myself in my writing sometimes.

gender neutral does not mean non binary!

this isn't as common as other instances, but i do see it every once in a while. not every non-binary person uses they/them pronouns and may, in fact, use neopronouns or he/him or she/her. or use multiple pronouns! so gender neutral fics aren't inherently non-binary fics.

trans is not a dirty word!

this is honestly kind of inspired by a recent uptick in people describing male characters as afab!male character, and seemingly refusing to use the word trans in any of their content. and to be completely honest, when it's coming from non-trans people, it's kinda weird and an auto block for me at this point. because like, you're wanting to write about fucking men with pussies or fucking women with dicks, but it reads like you're scared of using the word trans like it's a bad word. it also sounds like you're centering the fact that this male character has a pussy, or this female character has a dick, and making it like a "ohhhh look at this!!! this is so unique!!!". and fandoms are notorious for fetishizing trans people, so it feels a bit borderline fetishy, especially when it comes from non-trans folks.

side note: i am a single trans person. i do not speak for the hundreds of thousands of trans people in existence. please do not harass people that do this, i am just stating my own personal opinion. as said at the beginning, i am a yapper with opinions.

this is also about non-trans men/mascs writing afab!male characters or non-trans women/fems writing amab!female characters, i am not talking about trans men/mascs writing trans men/mascs or trans women/fems writing trans women/fems.

but men with pussies exist in real life! women with dicks exist in real life! trans people exist in real life! trans is not a dirty word! just say trans and explicitly state the anatomy terms and pronouns you're using! it's so much easier to communicate to your readers what to expect!

so what formatting would you recommend to communicate well with my readers?

honestly, it's gonna sound weird, but just lay everything out so the reader can make a choice on whether or not they want to read your content. some examples that i've used in the past as well as a few others i can think of atm.

this is for specific characters i write bc i got tired of writing reader over and over again lmao.

blade is depicted as trans masc and uses he/they pronouns. he is non-op for both top and bottom surgery. his chest is referred to as his chest with descriptions of him wearing a compression top, and his anatomy is referred to as tdick and tcock. his strap is referred to as his dick.

jing yuan is depicted as a trans man and uses he/him pronouns. he is described as having top surgery scars and a fully healed phalloplasty. his anatomy is referred to as dick and hole. his partner calls him "prince" and "handsome" throughout the series.

pantalone is depicted as a trans masc and uses he/him pronouns. he is described as having top surgery scars, silver bar nipple piercings, but no bottom surgery. his anatomy is referred to as chest and tdick/tcock. his partner calls him "sir".

reader is gender neutral and uses they/them pronouns. they are described as having a chest, and their anatomy is referred to as hole. there are references to wetness, but it can be interpreted as spit, natural lubricant, or artificial lubricant. their partner does not use pet names with them.

sampo is depicted as crossdressing in this fic, but continues to use he/him pronouns. he is described as wearing a dress and heavy make-up. his chest is referred to as breasts, while his anatomy referred to as dick and hole.

luocha is depicted as a trans woman and uses she/her pronouns. she is described as having breast growth but no bottom surgery. her chest is referred to as breasts while her anatomy is referred to as clit and pussy. her partner uses the terms "princess" when talking to her.

ningguang is depicted as a trans fem and uses she/her pronouns. she is described as having breast growth but no bottom surgery. her chest is referred to as breasts while her anatomy is referred to as her strap.

if it sounds weird me using the word "anatomy" for a person's sexual anatomy, it's bc i'm trying to avoid any possible moderation lmao.

anywho. i'm done yapping for now. if you've got any well-intended questions, please feel free to shoot me an ask and i'll try to get to it in a timely manner. i'm also happy to discuss how trans people are frequently fetishized in fandoms, or anything else that people may be curious about.

but please do remember that i am one single trans person, i am not the end all be all of trans opinions. i just yap a lot.

#—the snake writes #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #genshin impact x reader #gi x reader #genshin x reader #x reader #reader insert #adding the tags of the fandoms i frequent the most

155 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 1 year

Text

Don't mind me, everyone, just gonna slip on my Tedependent conspiracy hat for a bit...

Okay, for real though, can we talk about how Trent's backstory in 3x06 completely re-contextualizes his dinner with Ted in 1x03? Based on my own interpretation, the implied timeline is that Trent was married to a woman, attempted to come out to her and was dismissed (perhaps in large part because they were married: what do you mean you're gay? You can't be. You love me, etc.), either having his daughter forced Trent to become more honest about what he and his family needed, or they had her in an attempt to "fix" the marriage, she gets caught in the crossfire of all this, Trent comes out again, this time his wife believes him, they divorce, are still good friends, and their daughter is happier than ever because she has two loving parents who are now living their best lives.

Given her age - 3 at the start of the series, about 6 now - that means there's a decent possibility that Trent was still married at the beginning of the show.

And that his dinner with Ted is one of the things that pushed him to try coming out again.

As his core Ted is someone who is authentic and that authenticity is what catches Trent's interest. He's dismissive of it at first, literally thinking it's a "fucking joke," only to later end up with the revelation, "You really mean that, don't you?" - that Ted honestly enjoyed spending time with him. AKA, Ted says and does what he means, even when it seems completely unbelievable. How freeing must that be to see? I'm just imagining this interview-turned-dinner through the eyes of a man who is still unhappily married, mostly closeted, and struggling to help his daughter through the stress of that dynamic. Then he meets this sunshine of a coach who is so authentically himself that it initially comes across as an act, an exaggeration, a joke. But Ted never wavers, simply refuses to be anything other than himself. Soon he's doing even more than that, breaking down gender norms by characterizing the masculine, aggressive Roy Kent as the "little girl" from A Wrinkle in Time, burdened with the responsibility of leadership. He turns what should have been the end of a horrific day of shadowing into a dinner date and Trent finds himself answering the hard-hitting questions instead of his interviewee. Ted brushes off his accusation of greed with, "Wait, I'm supposed to be getting paid?" but Trent is completely caught off guard by Ted's "What do you love?"

The textual answer is "writing" and the fun fandom answer is "you," but if this is a Trent who still hasn't fully come out yet that's! A hell! Of a question!!! A closeted, queer individual's mind is going to jump to their biggest secret and, when offered an out, they're going grasp at it, so Trent eagerly agrees with Ted's guess of "writing" the same way Colin eagerly pulls the 'This is a gay bar? Haha, my mistake' card and makes a run for the door. Reading this interaction as Trent not just being gay, but potentially being closeted and unhappily married makes it less about the journalism (this strange coach likes me and thinks I can be a good person despite my invasive career choice) and more about his sexuality. Oh, no big deal, just having an intimate dinner with another good-looking man who's questioning me on love of all things and slowly inspiring me to be the best version of myself, which would require coming out to my wife again. This is a totally normal and not at all life-changing night! I definitely don't need to run away now!!

Via this reading Trent's article feels so loaded. Ted is "out there in the community" either "bravely or stupidly facing the music." That sounds a hell of a lot like a parallel to literally coming out and facing the music of a community's potential rejection, with Ted's American background/inexperience/unique personality acting as a stand-in for sexuality; the reasons he's labeled a "wanker" before anyone actually gets to know him - as the pub trio does while those very words are narrated by Higgins.

And then we have this:

"If the Lasso way is wrong, it's hard to imagine being right.... and though I believe that Ted Lasso will fail here... I can't help but root for him."

There are other elements at play here, like the football's celebration of ego and the threat of the club being relegated, but underneath it really sounds like a still-cynical Trent wanting to see the kind of changed world that those like Ted could bring about, but not really believing that it's possible. Given his history, is he really just talking about football when it comes to "the Lasso way"? I doubt it. Trent is potentially feeling trapped at this point in time, pessimistic to the point where yes, he still thinks that Ted will fail at football and creating a more inclusive, accepting community... but even still, Trent can't help but root for him. Of course he can't. He wants what Ted is offering. He needs it.

But then, of course, Ted succeeds! Not just in doing well by the club, but by the community as a whole. He maintains that inspiration and hope until, potentially, Trent felt like he could do something about his own situation. He found the nerve and strength to try again. So he comes out to his wife, they divorce, their daughter is happy, he goes on a date with a mustached man at the local pub, ditches him to try and 'interview' Ted, blows up his career because he realizes that his job is undermining the very thing he's been rooting for and he can't not give Ted a heads up, begins shadowing Ted as he looks for something "deeper," and then comes out to Colin, gazing wistfully across the water as he imagines being able to kiss a man after a win...

I'm not saying Ted Lasso is going to go there - and I'm DEFINITELY not saying there should be ANY accusations of queer baiting if/when they don't, because we've absolutely built the majority of this ship in fandom spaces - but I AM saying that if Trent's potential intersection of his history with Ted's influence and Ted's desire to shake things up while imagining bisexual triangles actually led to something... it would be a damn well done setup!

#Ted Lasso #Ted Lasso spoilers #Tedependent #Trent Crimm

770 notes · View notes

not-poignant · 3 months

Note

salut pia!

ive been wondering? how do you handle/change modes when you’re writing across AUs/fics? i mean not only the personality/attribute changes (like role reversal with ef and gwyn) but also change in…oh how do i say this..when a character is a MC in one but side/minor in another? bc they are different devices to different stories, how do you keep an overview of how much you reveal, go into so as to not side track from the main story or change the “flow”. example: whenever theres mentions of gender identity and betas somethin somethin feeling like omegas somethin somethin comes up “casually” sirens go off in my head and then i realise wait faber is NOT the MC in this story this is not about him him but its a little bit about him him. and then i feel like im standing behind a glass wall looking from Utb/Utg to Utr screaming at faber but he is a NPC here so we dont know whats going on in his head. that scene with ef and him eating carrots?…. i would give my right foot and skin tone copic markers to be a fly on the wall in fabers POV (the timelines probably wont align for it to happen but would you ever consider sth like this?? a scene overlapp across stories i mean?)

i’ve mostly read within that universe but ive also read spoils where your characters have completely different..positions? roles? weight? than in rainbow. so yeah how do you keep it all “appropriate” or “fitting” for their roles in different stories. like a puppet master

cheers xx

Hi anon,

So this is going to be not very helpful, but I don't write this stuff down for the most part.

This is the stuff I find so easy that this is why this is my job, in a way. I don't have a list of 'different Efnisiens' to keep track of, or 'different Gwyns.' They become themselves within the story. If I read a chapter of the story I get back into it (actually often I just need to listen to a song or put on the right playlist). Every version of a character is kind of there right now. I know how each would respond to something, and how those things would be the same or vary based on life experiences and the question etc.

I don't do really much at all to change modes. I just...do. There is no overview. It's all in my head. I'd say some of this goes down to how long / how many years I've spent studying character and dialogue overall. But even when I was younger I found this pretty easy, and transplanting characters into different situations to see how they'd react similarly / differently was one of my favourite kinds of exercises even when I was a teenager.

Some of it is knowing focus. Faber's side story is interesting, for those who like Faber and/or Underline the Red, hints about his gender struggles are fascinating, but they can only ever be hints, because I'm mindful that many readers aren't interested in Faber except as a minor character, and haven't read Underline the Red.

The focus is always Efnisien and Gary. Other characters can have their own lives and motivations, but it won't be more than that in the main story. Though I can go into a bit more detail because of the length of the story which is really nice for building out side characters / ensemble cast.

As to crossover perspectives, I don't know! I know we'll see some of Faber's perspective of Efnisien arriving at Hillview in Underline the Red, but obviously things impact characters differently at different times, I don't know what will be most important by the time we get to Faber's side of things. I used to write alternative perspectives as side chapters for Fae Tales though, and that could be a lot of fun.

so yeah how do you keep it all “appropriate” or “fitting” for their roles in different stories.

I saw a video by Hank Green I think once where he said the reason sportspeople are so good at their sports is in part because they're physically often the best at that sport anyway. Like, ballerinas have a certain build, swimmers have a certain build, and any training they do works to support that and make them better, but they were 'built' out for those sports in the first place. Some people have yoga bodies. I have a swimming body and swimming shoulders.

And I feel like this is true sometimes with writing. I don't try to keep it appropriate or fitting, I just know that the ensemble characters can't matter as much as the main characters in the course of the story. That's what a story is. That's what a main character and an ensemble character is. I would say years of experience has made this part of writing mostly easy and fun for me, so I don't have to think or overthink about this stuff anymore. At worst I might think 'was that too much Faber? Eh, it's helping Efnisien, it's still important to the plot and his character arc.'

I'm 'built' for writing big worlds with big ensemble casts where all the characters are important but where the focus is only on a couple of main characters per story. I'm built for character-focused stories and seem to be very built for transplanting characters I love into different worlds (and different roles) to see how that changes things. I started wanting to write these kinds of worlds and characters when I was 10 years old, and had my first sprawling ensemble fantasy series started by the age of 11. By the age of 15 I had a 3 novel fantasy trilogy built out with about 20 significant characters, and it was ridiculous and silly but that was what I wanted to write.

And I guess you could say I haven't really changed, I've just gotten better at it. I hope to keep getting better at it! The challenge now is to figure out how to break down some of these skills so I can share them with others. But...I do think there's an element of 'this is just what I love, it's a special interest, I don't know how to convey that I have 30 years of special interest in reading, writing, and studying this thing across television, manga, manhwa, fanfiction, AUs, and fictional series.' There will be teachable skills in that, but I don't know how much osmosis / absorption / and being obsessed with entangled tapestries of stories makes up what I do.

In some ways it would be 'better' if I was built for more conventional storytelling. My bank account might like that more! BUT, I'm doing okay where I'm at, because I love it, and I try to share that with other people and see if I can tell stories that resonate with them too.

(There are aspects of what I do that are very hard for me - timelines, aspects of worldbuilding, pacing in the first arc, and so on, but the actual characterisation part, and creating multiple versions of the same character is as easy as breathing. I could give you four more different versions of Faber in an hour. Maybe even twenty minutes. It's not hyperbole, it's just...how I daydream, what I think about. And it's fun!)

I'm very very very lucky that other folks are willing to read the same characters across different narratives, because it's a very strange thing to do in writing outside of fanfiction, case in point being that we almost never see any other professional authors doing it with their original works. x.x

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on worldbuilding #pia on characterisation #pia on fanfiction #i gotta put shoes on and i gotta gooooo #it's mum's birthday dsklfjas i'm heading over to hers #and bringing birthday Toby lol #apologies for any typos or incorrect word usage #i didn't have time to reread #the TL;DR is - i'm obsessed with this and love it and it's a special interest #and in the last 10 years this is the easiest kind of writing for me #it's easier than oneshots sdlkfjas

11 notes · View notes

watatsumiis · 2 years

Text

Hmm in need of some comfort today so just cherrypicking some of my faves to write this scenario of 'how they'd react to a reader who has gone nonverbal and is avoiding contact due to stress/sensory overload'

I'm not sure if it's much of a mood others can relate to but here goes!

Content: gender neutral reader (heavily implied to be neurodivergent in some way), platonic fluff, general mentions of stress and sensory overload type deals (but pretty vague), some characters can be kind of dismissive/confused at first (Dottore, Itto, Pantalone, Yae Miko) but mostly positive and supportive.

Be warned that the descriptions of being nonverbal and coping with sensory overload will be based heavily on my own personal experiences and coping mechanisms, so they will likely not match perfectly up with what others have been through.

Characters: Ayato, Capitano, Dottore, Itto, Pantalone, Pierro, Yae Miko, Zhongli.

Ayato gets it. He may not know exactly what you're experiencing, but he understands and empathises (especially since Ayaka often struggles with similar issues). He tends to be pretty swamped at any given time so it may take him a bit to realise what's going on or notice how you're feeling, but once he does, he's immediately ready to do anything to help look after you - he's very observant to all of your signals and catches on really quickly to what you want, even if you're not entirely sure about it yourself. He's kind and patient and won't touch you without express permission first - he leads you off somewhere quiet for you to decompress, shooing others away so that you can sit in peace for a while until you're feeling ready to face the world again. It's okay if you need more time, too, he'll send Thoma up every now and then to bring you snacks and drinks they know you like and a reminder that you're allowed to take all the alone time you need.

Capitano relates, heavily. He often finds himself struggling with words and socialising too, and so picks up on your stress signals almost immediately (sometimes before you even realise you're teetering on the edge of an episode). He'll just stand silently by you, shielding you from others with his broad frame and intimidating demeanour. Often, his presence is enough to scare others off and give you some space to breathe, but sometimes that just isn't enough, and he might twitch his fingers and tilt his head in that silent gesture that means you should follow him. Any time Capitano spends an extended period of time somewhere, he finds himself mapping out 'safe spots' for him to hide - for him, they're usually small, enclosed, dark places such as closets or service hallways. If you're the kind of person who needs to be outdoors, he also knows where all the nearest exits are and will lead you directly out, standing a few paces away with his arms crossed over his chest, back to you as he stands guard to make sure you're not disturbed.

Dottore... Doesn't understand. He wants to, but less in an empathetic way and more in a researching kind of way. You'll feel his eyes on you, observing you and taking in every little detail, which just makes you more stressed, but eventually he'll set a hand on the small of your back (though will pull away if you shy away from him) to lead you out and to somewhere quiet - at first you think he's being considerate but in reality he just wants to observe you for a bit, record what you do to calm yourself down. The moment you're able to get your words in order again, he's asking questions - what led to this, how your mental state was, what you usually do to cope, so on. It's a little invasive, clinical and weird (and he almost definitely has a folder dedicated to you that he's writing this all down in), but as time goes on, you slowly realise that he's actually actively working to try and prevent you from getting so stressed you become like that again. He's kind of sneaky about it but there's no question that it's him who is pulling the strings, subtly taking work away from you and steering away those who might seek to bother you. It's kind of sweet, really.

Itto struggles to get why you're like this, it's not something he's ever experienced in his life - he's constantly on the move, a high sensory seeker who is noisy and all over the place, but he'll do his very best to understand you and make sure your needs are met, even if he doesn't get them at all. He may still talk to you and ask you questions, then really quickly apologise and get all flustered. He has no idea what he's doing and it shows, but he has good intentions. He'll announce that you're feeling "super duper not-good" to anyone who so much as glances in your direction, and that you are "in dire need of some time to chill and unwind, so all you bozos better stay back!" (that last part is more directed towards his gang - he knows they can be a lot sometimes, yet he somehow seems oblivious to the fact that he can be exactly the same way). If you seem like you're genuinely upset or stressed out for too long, he'll try a wide variety of things in his attempts to make you smile or laugh - each idea gets more and more ridiculous, from bringing you silly looking beetles to trying (and failing) to do cartwheels, to once even nearly getting arrested because he decided to do a (rather insulting, but faithful) impression of the Yashiro Commissioner.

Pantalone really struggles to wrap his head around it all, he just can't seem to comprehend the idea that some people can't just keep all their stress tucked down inside until an appropriate time arrives that they can let it all out and break down. He's almost dismissive at first, but as he grows to know you better he becomes a lot kinder and more helpful surrounding it all (though he can still occasionally say or do something that comes off kind of unkind, he struggles with empathy). He'll let you hide out in his office until you feel better, and if he's in a particularly generous mood he might give you little gifts of things that he feels will cheer you up. While he can be a little impatient, eventually he seems to adjust to the idea that not everyone can be 'perfectly composed' on the outside like he is. He'll help you come up with excuses for why you might have to leave quickly, and will absolutely lie to people on your behalf.

Pierro, while not really fully comprehending, is pretty accepting (mostly because it's you), and will do what he can to make you feel comfortable and happy - he'll make excuses to others as to why you can't do certain things and make sure not to do anything that might upset you even more. He has a little bit of experience (thanks to Capitano), but treats you pretty much the exact same as he would Cap, giving you plenty of space and making sure everything is quiet and you have somewhere to retreat if you need. Nobody questions him due to his status, so if he's giving you preferential treatment, you'd better enjoy it, because he doesn't just hand that out to anyone. His presence in itself is pretty calming too, he has a kind of calm, in-control vibe no matter what.

Yae Miko flip-flops back and forth between being super nice and a little bit teasing about it (in a very lighthearted way, but it can still be a little stressful). Of course, if you appeal directly to her for support, she'll provide it, but there's a chance she may expect something in return eventually. Despite that, she's more than happy to pull some strings to make sure you're happy and taken care of. You'll get somewhere quiet to sit, something yummy to eat, and if you're lucky, you might be graced with her presence as she sits beside you to do some papers and keep an eye on you to make sure you're looking after yourself and there's nothing else actively stressing you.

Zhongli probably has a few tricks up his sleeve when it comes to calming others down - he has breathing exercises for you to try and will happily walk you through them, and will encourage you to do some things to ground yourself (like identifying and pointing out different things you can see/hear/smell, etc.). He's very proactive when it comes to this sort of thing, and doesn't want to leave you alone because he frets. If you need, he'll find you somewhere quiet to just exist for a bit (though he'll still sit nearby). He checks in a lot and worries about you, because he hates to see those he cares about feeling stressed out - it stresses him out too. Once he's sure you're okay with it, he'll wrap you up in the biggest, most soothing hug, applying perfect amounts of pressure as he rests his chin on you and rubs your back.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagarise my writing! This includes posting translations to other sites.

221 notes · View notes

paingoes · 5 days

Note

1, 2, 19 for delta and paris and lorelai :)

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

delta

1.) How did you choose their name?

oh finally i get a chance to talk about this. im actually SOOOO proud of these names like not cause they're ingenious or anything i just think they seem so fitting to me. like he looks like his name is delta. and i like how they sound when i say them.

as for how i chose it..... it's just a fun and common living weapon convention to only have a number or code for a name! empire is based on greco-roman traditions so Delta as a part of the greek alphabet seemed fun.

2.) Were they created for the story, or was the story created for them?

destroyer was created for delta :)

this is another thing i was waiting to talk about and im glad i finally have the chance. the original conception for this entire universe is actually centered around delta's GIRLFRIEND. who has not even appeared in the story yet and will likely have pretty minimal involvement when she does.

delta was originally conceived as one of several love interests for this girl. destroyer was literally just his mysterious and tragic backstory. he was a very minor character but one of my favorites and i had a lot of fun writing his backstory and i decided it'd be fun to actually explore it in depth. and here we are! lmfao

19.) Does your character having any health issues, whether they're aware of them or not?

oh this is a good question! he gets migraines a lot, that's permanent. i don't think there's much else surprisingly enough. probably some sleep issues and general symptoms of chronic stress and c-PTSD.

paris

1.) How did you choose their name?

again im super proud of this for no reason i just love how it sounds. he's named after paris of troy. part of that is deliberate coding with the illiad but the other part of it is just that it sounds nice. he's also named after the city because it has reputations for being simultaneously elegant and trashy <3

i also really like how theyre both kind of androgynous/slightly effeminate sounding names. they're both gendered pretty ambiguously imo.

2.) Were they created for the story, or was the story created for them?

paris, on the other hand, was created for the story. i definitely struggled more w him and i think that shows a bit in the earliest parts of destroyer, he was a pretty two-dimensional character who just needed to fulfill the role as "whumper". but i ended up getting very attached to him and i feel like he ended up being kind of a show stealer.

19.) Does your character having any health issues, whether they're aware of them or not?

yeah paris got hit in the chest with an arrow so he has some issues. he gets fatigued a lot quicker than he used to and he has some minor nerve damage. the drugs dont help.

lorelai

1.) How did you choose their name?

lorelaiiiiiii. it just sounds nice right? i wanted her to sound kind of folksy and cute and feminine. i think it was originally inspired by Laura Lee from yellowjackets. i mostly choose names just based off intangible vibes and how they sound when you say them. my brain conjures them up.

2.) Were they created for the story, or was the story created for them?

lorelai was also created for the story! she kinda snuck in there actually, i didn't expect her to become as important as she would be but i thought it'd be interesting for paris to have a crush on and admire someone who's such an unceasingly good person and better than him in every single way. she serves a really important role in destroyer cause she's the only one who will actually call paris out on his shit and the only one who will acknowledge how fucked up delta's situation is. she's the best girl in the world aaaaaaaaghhhhh.

i do worry about her coming across as just a love interest and that's something i want to avoid. but she was conceived as paris's foil so she kind of has to exist in relation to him. at the same time i want her to have her own personality and goals and destiny. so they were both created for destroyer, but crash out was created for them.

19.) Does your character having any health issues, whether they're aware of them or not?

no i think she's pretty healthy! i don't know anything about health but i think her lifestyle of like. rolling in dirt and picking up heavy things and eating a lot of fresh produce puts her on a pretty good path! she does do drugs and smokes cigarettes though lol im sure she has issues w shortness of breath and maybe heart palpitations.

5 notes · View notes

idontwanttospoiltheparty · 10 months

Note

Do you think John would’ve been much different with a daughter? It seems to be agreed (based off a few mentions of it I vaguely remember seeing on the dash) in fandom that John would’ve naturally acclimated to being a GirlDad. It’s an endearing idea and I’m assuming it stems from how sweet he was with that little girl in MMT. And considering John’s deep rooted beliefs on gender roles (the way he would make his sisters and cyn go home instead of heading out to afterparties) which seems to have still lingered despite the progress he made by having Yoko in his life, I wonder whether he might’ve been a little more overprotective in the way fathers often are with daughters. Would he have found it easier to be affectionate with a daughter? It seems like he was totally comfortable lavishing affection on Sean so maybe it really was just a matter of timing and he was ready to be a father the second time around. Like if Julian was a Julia I still don’t think it would’ve changed in terms of John being a mostly absent father in the midst of beatlemania. I do think if Julian had been a girl it might’ve wounded Yoko in a different way considering her own first daughter was kidnapped (since they both seemed to measure relationships).

Hey anon! Sorry for taking a while to get back to you! I've been studying and have also been rotating this in my brain but I'm struggling to answer your question.

I think you're right that probably John would have treated a daughter born in 1963 differently to some extent due to his thoughts on gender roles, but it seems to me that by 1975 he had outgrown a lot of them, which informed his treatment of Sean, so I'm not sure a girl born in 1975 would have had a very different life from Sean. I think the idea that John would have been a natural GirlDad is also due to him handling Heather pretty well. There's also a story from Ruth McCartney that John was the one who taught her how to ride a bike. I feel like John was generally not bad with kids that weren't his own (not because he uniquely hated his own kids but because being a parent is a completely different responsibility from entertaining kids for max. a few hours) and the fact he only had sons makes it seem like gender was a big part of his issues as a parent, but personally I doubt it was massively impactful.

I do think about John at first worrying the name "Julian" would be too sissy – my suspicion is he feared Julian might be bullied. Perhaps John understanding how boys and men work, in what ways they are prone to hurting each other, impacted his parenting in a way. And that would, with a girl, also perhaps lead to overprotectiveness.

You also raise a good point about a daughter perhaps being an even bigger sore spot for Yoko.

In conclusion: who knows Yoko! But this is interesting to think about.

#ask #anon #john #analysis #julian #sean #jj #js

11 notes · View notes

talentlesshuman · 2 years

Note

Can I ask how you design your ocs? Your designs are so pretty and show so much of their personality! I would love to know the thoughts behind how you design your ocs if not thats totally ok!

Thanks so much for the love!! I actually talked about this in my server recently even though no one asked for it LOL

I accidentally answered this question as if you asked about adopts instead of my OCs! Things are mostly the same except I decide certain things about the character BEFORE I go forth to design their appearance :P

anyway, under the cut is a big long ramble about how I design my adopts LOL

First thing I do is consider different themes or combinations of themes. These are normally objects (eg: candle, mushroom, bear+honey), but they can also be concepts (eg: lovecore)

In this set of adopts, I used emojis as the themes!

Second is I decide the bodytype and skintone. It's important to me that there are more diversity in the community around me, so I try my best to have an even amount of light-skinned vs dark-skinned designs and light vs heavy set designs. Here's the message I sent to myself when planning the most recent set of adopts :)

I don't consider gender or nationality- my drawings aren't particularly detailed enough to portray meaningful ethnic features, so that is something that writers have the freedom to decide on their own. As for gender, even though I normally draw feminine bodytypes/fashion, appearance doesn't have bearing on gender or sex, so that is also for the writer to determine.

Sometimes I will also pre-plan the fashion style of the design, but more often than not I just make it up as I go along. For inspiration, I may look at google or refer to some tags I keep on my main blog: https://talentlessmainblog.tumblr.com/tagged/fashion, https://talentlessmainblog.tumblr.com/tagged/g .

Inspiration is always always always good! But it's not a good idea to lift an entire outfit from pinterest when you're selling a design. When I find something I really like, I try to add the aspect I like as a part of the design. Instead of taking a whole dress, maybe I will just take the collar, or maybe the style of the folds, changing colors and themes- taking aspects from many different sources to make something new!

The final steps are to draw the designs and color them. I try to make their silhouettes interesting, which is easy to do with feminine designs with long hair and dresses, but more difficult with masculine designs. I may end up swapping around some of the pre-planned details depending on what I feel like is working or not. Often I will reach out to friends for a second opinion when I'm struggling with color palettes. When designing the hair I keep in mind different hair textures, especially for darker skinned designs. Growing up on anime, it's easy to forget about coiled hairstyles!

To me, designs are more successful when you are able to abbreviate them to a very basic form. This is why I choose simple concepts to base my designs off of, and why I try to minimize the number of colors used.

I try to keep a maximum of 3 colors in the palette (omitting skin tone, black/white, and similar values of the same hue). There are different coloring rules, but one that I remember is the 60-30-10 rule and the 70-30 rule. Both of these rules basically say that you should keep this ratio for your main color, supporting color, and accent color in a design. (They're called rules, but they're more like suggestions; you can see me breaking them all the time).

These two designs are good examples, where the main colors (brown/beige) take up a majority of the design and the accent color (blue/gold) take up about 10% of the design.

I normally try to keep a nice variety of colors, but you don't have to :3 For this valentines set from last year, I kept an all-pink bear theme!

And that's how I go about designing characters! Hope this was helpful/interesting! Keep in mind there's no wrong way to do this, and the first rule is to have fun :)

#not art #answers #anon #tutorial #character design #This question was about ocs but i accidentally just talked a bout my adopts lol

27 notes · View notes

maskyartist · 2 years

Note

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for bringing system! Augustus into my life. That is SO real to me now I will never be the same again /pos - a fellow system <3

THERES THE REASSURANCE I NEED TO BUILD ON THIS THANK U FELLOW SYSTEM HOLDER!! :D or user idk all the terms >3> i just got bitches livin here rent free ANYWAYS

for funsies imma use ur ask to talk about the roles the different parts of Augustus's system play n sorta when they showed up :D

His system isnt TOO big. Augustus's mind sorta segmented things in a way he could understand. small numbers mean easier solutions, so his issues were cut into four equal slices essentially. Someone to handle each of the parts he couldnt deal with himself

They also dont have real names. Just titles. It keeps things tidy in Augustus's brain so he doesn't really "humanize" them as human as they are. hell he doesnt even think about em as other personalities, he just thinks people have other people in their mental worlds who take over the body when ur too out of it to do so urself

as for the system members!

The Princess: Definitely first to show up. Similar to Raz, Augustus needed a friend when he was a kid. he also needed a person who could take on his "girliness" for him so he could be a boy. This brings in our Princess, who houses all that sweet sweet childhood trauma! along with happy childhood memories :D she's got mood swings, going from merciful princess to "I will stab you with my tiara", she's a kid she's got a lot of emotions!

The Acrobat: For handling all those weird feelings in ur teen years. They're about 14, struggling with gender identity, and is Augustus's "voice" while they do side shows for money. they're around for most of the Starlight Circus, so they're in for the long haul. They hold a lot of Augustus's more emotional trauma, and is a bit of a wimp. got that awkward growth spurt hunch and tends to trail off when they speak

The Ringmaster: Augustus just got his scars and he cant handle that kind of pain and having to relearn how to see. Introducing our Ringmaster! A strong willed grown man who knows exactly how to execute a routine and expects perfection >:( A big frowner for sure, very protective of Augustus. he's his backbone basically, able to finally give Augustus ground to stand on so he can stand up for himself. he's also a fast learner, helping Augustus get used to having only one seeing eye :D

and finally we have Maligula, who handles all of Augustus's water and psychic based issues and joys. unlike Lucrecia's Maligula which is more a coping mechanism she made to defend herself, Augustus's is a fully realized...creature. not a person, but a creature who lives deep within the waters of the flooded circus and takes on all that heavy trauma of the Grulovia Dam Flooding, his failures, his biggest problems...he's sorta Augustus's main protector essentially, blocking him from doing much outside of his usual routines that ARE deemed as "safe". its why starting him on Psychic training is a bit difficult when you have a literal monster holding you back out of fear of you or your loved ones getting hurt

again this is all mostly based on my experiences and also how i internalize my own system stuff, so take all this with a grain of salt, im not an expert, yadayadayada, but i just think it's kinda neat!

plus theres no way in hell Augustus knows he has DID he thinks this is just How The Brain Works and theres like a whole team of highly trained psychologists like "No bestie this is somethin WAY different"

#masky gets the mail #Augustus's System Error AU #lets call it that for funsies #hell i might design these guys >3>#psychonauts #augustus aquato #i dont think the kids meet the other personalities too much?#augustus tends to take care of his family himself he loves em so much #but theres probably been times where Princess was the one playing with the kids for a bit #or Acrobat would listen to the olders problems and give some solid advice on teenage drama #...the Ringmaster was definitely the one who ripped Raz's pamphlet that night i just know it #augustus couldnt handle the emotional strain so he just ripped the controls outta his hands and took care of it himself #no one was too happy with him for awhile

33 notes · View notes

notquitecanon · 9 months

Note

Do you do scenarios or headcanons? If so, how many characters can we request for scenarios or headcanons? Would you do the same prompt with different characters? Can we request for male reader, female reader, gender neutral reader, etc? Other than Astarion, are there any characters from Baldur's Gate 3 you would write? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Would you mind if we request for Alternate Universes or Aus like AU where the character lives happily? Would you mind if the request is suggestive, implied sex, or mentioned sex but no explicit sex? Would you do NSFW requests? For Baldur's Gate 3 requests, would you mind if we don't specify the race/class to leave it ambiguous or if we ask specify the race/class like human/healer? What kinks would you accept for requests? Thank you in advance!

Honestly, I’ve just never had those kind of requests on here. I also am very bad about answering requests bc my brain is a goblin with a pencil who is very picky about what sparks my interest enough to push past the usual fog of writers block. But funny enough I used to run a Star Wars fanfic blog so I do have answers to these questions:

1.) I’m not opposed to doing scenarios/ head canons! Sometimes doing them is what sparks a full fic or it’s just fun to slow down and enjoy imagining things!

As for how many, to prevent burn out I’ll probs stick to 2 or 3 characters at a time. If someone requests more than 3, I’d probs pick the 3 that I had the better ideas for / knew the characters better

2.) Requesting different gendered readers. Full transparency, I’m a cisgender woman.

I feel most knowledgeable writing feminine presenting characters, as I can use my own experiences! That being said, I do write things to be gender neutral and can do that on request. As for writing for a male reader, I’m open to trying! It’s not in my realm of experience nor have I done it before, but if I got the right request, I’d be happy to try! (I just don’t want to not write to my usual standards and I especially don’t want to offend anyone because of my lack of knowledge!)

3.) I’ll write for any of the romanceable characters, except Minthara (haven’t been able to recruit her yet so I don’t know her)

I’m more likely to write for characters that I’m most attracted to such as Astarion, Halsin, Karlach, Gale, and Lae’zel.

4.) I won’t write graphic depictions of rape or suicidal. I will use mentions of trauma / mental health struggles in my writing, and I always mention them in my TW section. Not so much a problem in this phantom, but I also don’t write incest. Or inappropriate age gaps.

5.) I have never written a polyamorous relationship, but I’d be open to trying with the right prompt/request. I have a lot of love to go around, so I think I can do this.

6.) when it comes to AU’s I mostly try to keep it in universe, and I will do what I call fix it fics. That way if the work I am trying to do takes place after the end of game, I can still have all my little guys because I refuse to believe that there’s not a happy ending for everybody. And if there isn’t one, I will create one. But I don’t really do coffee shop they use or flower shop use or anything that takes them out of the world that they are in.

7.) at the moment, I don’t write outright smut. It’s not because I don’t want to or can’t, I just don’t think I’m very good at it. I will use mentions of sex, heavy-handed, make out sessions, and honestly pretty much everything right up until the point of actual sex. So you request smut, but I might not be as quick to answer those others. Personally, I find the tension leading up to this smut the fun part to write and read.

8.) as for race/class of BG3 readers, I will try to keep it, usually fairly and ambiguous. Though, how I have written everything that I have written, even though I’ve only posted one thing, I, based all of my writing off how I played the game personally. So, if you have something specific in mind, you’ll have to specify in the request, or I will default to what I usually do. (Reference I love playing Rangers. They are my favorite, so I have knowledge of nature, survival and some medicinal skills)

9.) as for kinks, I accept, I will accept anything in the ask box, even if I don’t write it. no kink shaming here as long as the kinks don’t fall under any of the things that I don’t write, which are listed in the above points

Thank you for asking, and being so respectful about my writing! I really appreciate it and hope that you request something :)

Disclaimer, I hope everything that is written in this makes sense, I’m using voice to text as I do something else.

2 notes · View notes

cheonmaneechan · 1 year

Text

To start with imagining what would happen if certain Type-Moon characters were trans, how much Shiki being trans would change the story is probably the most route dependent by virtue of him being the protagonist. She could still have sex with people as himself and sexually violate people when taken over by Roa or Shiki so that wouldn't change much. She'd have to also do energy conversions like Akiha probably given Nasu's magic system is homophobic...wait not actually that might dependent on whether she's pre-op or post-op or not which given that it's Japan in the year 2000 it's probably the former so no change there either except maybe some dysphoria potentially. While we're on the topic of how it'd affect Hisui's route mainly, Hisui might not have as much of a problem touching her depending on how she feels about trans people and her gender. Hisui seems like she has the most potential to be straight instead of bi out of all the route characters, but she'd still help Shiki when needed so no plot changes there.

I feel like Akiha regardless of her route even with her conservative upbringing would respect her gender even if she has trouble thinking of her as something other than her onii-san and the understanding of it in general at some point. This point might be my most controversial, but considering that she fully sees and respects her as her brother despite not being blood related in the context of both her conservative upbringing and living in Japan in the year 2000, I could see her coming around as long as Shiki can still be her sibling just now as an onee-san instead. If you want a more conservative argument though, you could make it so that she only really comes around in her own route that would tie her feelings of Shiki as a sibling with Shiki and her gender and having to confront her own feelings of loving both her sister AND girls which is very funny to think she'd have more trouble with the latter issue.

The others would probably change much less as there aren't as many gender dynamic or personal issues going on. Kohaku would probably respect her gender I feel and she has less trouble with men compared to her younger sister Hisui so it wouldn't matter much regardless. Plus Kohaku just like Akiha is definitely bi so there wouldn't be any sexuality issues with Kohaku being accepting overall about that part of herself it seems even if she doesn't think of it consciously.

One might think Ciel would have trouble just because she's catholic and works for the church and has been influenced by their teachings to some degree, but I feel like she isn't really as religious as people might make her out to be considering her true ending and her job seeming to mostly be a work thing she can't find herself getting out of without help and motivation from someone else. I think she'd accept Shiki for who she is just given her personality alone and would be comforting in a sort of older sister or mentor kind of way. Plus this is a headcannon of course, but I'm pretty sure she's bi so the love and sexuality would still be there.

Arcueid's route would probably change the least and I struggle to find where it would even be relevant and how. I also think of Arcueid as bi so there's that too. She's literally out of this world and is only awake for it here and there, so I can't imagine the societal conventions of transphobia being very ingrained in her, especially since Japan historically doesn't have the same history of transphobia as western countries do. I can't remember how many other places she's been to if she has, but it probably still wouldn't matter much.

Satsuki is much harder to get a pin on since she gets much less screen time with her never having gotten her route in the original and all. I can't really gauge how she'd react or what her sexuality is based off Tsukihime alone (I've only played the original and plus disc so Kagetsu Tohya and Melty Blood are out of my league). Since she isn't very plot relevant because of that though, things probably wouldn't change much.

Arihiko would probably know well before anyone else that Shiki is trans given that they're friends and any struggles with coming out if she is out to him would probably be relegated to brief backstory or something. They might have a stronger bond because of it if she is out, but they'd probably act roughly the same in the sort of "I'm still the friend you've always had" and "You're still the best friend that I know" and "Nothing has to change between us, let's just be how we always are" sort of sense. Arihiko is already protective of her due to her anemia so that aspect probably wouldn't change much either. Maybe there could be some romance even, some allusions to it perhaps? But yeah, they'd probably stay friends for the story's sake unless Nasu by virtue of them being straight now were to make an Arihiko route before even releasing the Satsuki route. That'd be pretty funny.

I don't think Shiki's childhood backstory would change much other than maybe some early signs of dysphoria that could be brought up later. Her relationship with Roa and SHIKI wouldn't change much either. Maybe SHIKI would make some slightly different sly commentary but that's probably about it.

This will probably be the longest one of these for Tsukihime at least. I look forward to doing this with the rest of the Type-Moon cast as well as When They Cry characters.

#tsukihime #tsukihime spoilers #type moon #nasuverse #lgbtq #transgender

8 notes · View notes

lifesliced · 2 years

Text

yagami being a very consistent character while also being a very duality based character, thus making it difficult to say one way or the other for most things because i could argue for either and feel justified, it’s hard to give examples off the cuff, but for example i could argue he’s a virgin or he’s not, and i could argue examples or traits of him to justify each (if that makes sense). kind of a pointed example, but i think that it’s a good one to use.

on one hand one, he has no problem having relationships and partners, even if he does not always feel things authentically, he does have the capability to project these feelings that he should have externally. he is a human being, in his prime, still going through the tail end of puberty when we first meet him, and has no problems with his body or confidence. i personally do not see light on the asexual spectrum, but perhaps on an aromantic leaning one. if he were demiromantic, it would be difficult to say if that could still even be a possibility. this isn’t to say aromantic people are cruel like him, i just think that he happens to fit an emotional dissonance that is hard to label, but there is a heavy combination of narcissism that we have to accept, and that’s mostly him, not his interests.

on the other hand, we could argue that he sees no one as good enough for him, especially not to be “the first.”

i will also acknowledge the quote that ohba is noted for of saying that light could not romantically love a woman. i think this is partially taken a bit out of context, as well as the japanese language have little gender specifications in their language (my wife’s boss struggled with pronouns when speaking english because it’s just not the same in japan). you could take a man that is attracted to women and pursues them, that sleeps with women and actively seeks them out, but you would say that he does not have the capability to love women. even as someone who headcanons yagami to be on the rather bisexual spectrum, i think his relationships with men and women are complicated in their own right.

he sees men as very much a competition, while women he just has a very overly traditional and generally very poor view of. i have mentioned he has thought of using physical violence towards men and women, but specifically the examples that stand out (to me) are the ones towards naomi and misa. yes, all of his relationships in the romantic realm, and eventually in the social realm, are all to make him seem normal when having the death note. but he was sort of actively doing the same thing before the death note, at least socially, and ohba confirms heh as the ability to love his family and friends, we see how there is a degradation of how he interacts with others. he stops seeing his friends entirely, for example, and one even has joined the police force.

there is so much to be said for yagami, but so many things that could truly just be both. i have to make decisions, but i try to make the best guesses i can based on what we get both “out of character” from ohba and “in character” in the canon of death note.

#yagami tbt #headcanon tbt #idk man i think about him a lot

7 notes · View notes

jyndor · 2 years

Note

I don’t know what other people are saying, but I was thinking Syril has a better chance of becoming a spy or ~something (not necessarily a rebel) purely based on interviews from the actor who plays him and Tony Gilroy. Dedra I think is a true believer tho. What’s important to note though is that the show is going to have two seasons, and apart from Cassian and Mon Mothma, I think anyone could end up anywhere.

so idk what Kyle Soller or Tony Gilroy said but now I'm curious. brb

okay so I saw some stuff people have said about him, and basically it kind of confirms what I believe - that he is a prime target for fascist propaganda, and that everything he presents to us at this moment is ripe for being radicalized in a very right-wing way because he isn't critical of the system like Nemik is, or even like Cassian is, he is frustrated and downwardly mobile but not concerned with the system so much as he is concerned with his place in it. Denise said something like, he wants to improve his station - so he might not be an ideologue in the way that Dedra or Nemik are (with like manifestos not that they are the same lol), but to me his ideology is just... like a normal, ignorant marginally conservative person. And over the past few decades conservatives in my country at least but a lot of other countries too have mostly devolved into fascists.

i also saw that Tony wasn't sure if Syril was going to go bad or good, juxtaposed with how Dedra was ALWAYS going to be imperial. i mean bear in mind that originally Cassian was actually an imperial spy (lol thank god that changed) in rogue one so things do change over time in development, but yeah I can understand the urge to show the prime target for fascist propaganda breaking out of that mindset and becoming a revolutionary but I also feel like that would veer into ironically the lazy, easy choice.

here's why I believe that Syril should go down the fascist rabbit hole and be radicalized, and more importantly why I don't want to see him become a spy for the rebels:

we've seen it before. I don't think we need another imperial realizing that the empire is evil, especially not when he looks like that. he is coded as a nazi's ideal kind of guy, save for maybe the brown hair. I think it would be far more realistic to have someone turn who is likely to struggle within the framework of an imperial regime (someone like say gorn - it cannot be a coincidence that he is played by a dark skinned Black man - I know that isn't the reason why he turned against the Empire but I mean... his lover was from Aldhani, non-human, and his story is dealing with genocide and bigotry).

I think there is a chance to show how someone who isn't the "ideal" in an imperial context doubles down on their ideology in spite of whatever bigotry and challenges they might experience (dedra) versus how it might actually open someone's eyes to the whole system's rotten core and brutality (gorn). instead of dedra having empathy for anyone else, she sees her disadvantages as a personal challenge, not the failing of a system. this is like how white women have often defended white supremacy in order to protect ourselves from the true enemy, capitalist patriarchy and colonialism (because the white supremacist colonial view of gender is what harms us). dedra meero is that to a t. and we should all remember that as we watch her navigate a system that is not super friendly to her, but that she can ultimately use against others to her own benefit.

this is why I think blevin might actually be a spy. sure, it could be the same thing - someone who clearly has experienced a similar sort of disadvantage in the isb and has learned how to work within it. of course he may not be a spy but like, lol idk I just something set off my spidey senses.

honestly most cops are conservative/a lot are fascist, and they are class traitors by default so I don't really need to see another cop deciding that the system is wrong. it just feels like... idk it gives me a bad taste in my mouth. I don't have a problem with him having conflicting feelings about shit because that is how people work, we aren't just mindless zombies, but without critical thinking people do just end up accepting what authorities say without questioning them and their intentions.

but also of course they may go in the direction of him turning anti-fascist, I just think that would be a little unrealistic and a bit cheap, especially when you've got nemik talking about ground-up organizing and so much emphasis on indigenous rights, colonialism and genocide.

I would honestly be disappointed if they took him in that direction, as opposed to keeping him as a foil for cassian and how he's "radicalizing" (personally i feel like cassian andor should always be anti-imperialist and anti-fascist, but whether or not he's read theory like mr karis marx over here okay sure fine whatever he can read some theory i guess). it's already very easy for white audiences to empathize with a character like syril karn, even though he's a racist and a piece of shit, and I just feel like white audiences would expect him to end up a good guy because that's what always, always happens in copaganda and shit.

anyway I guess my thing is, anon, and I'm not saying to you so much as to people in general, we as viewers of a show like this (but of any content imo) should examine our initial reactions to characters and events to figure out why we have them. why are so many people stanning and woobifying syril karn? he's hot, okay but like everyone's hot in this show lol. why him? is it because perhaps a certain percentage of the audience is going to automatically relate to a white character over someone coded as non-white? is it because it feels better to like a character who feels familiar - maybe who reminds us of ourselves or our friends and family?*

and is that why there is such a need for this guy to be good when every indicator in the show right now is that he is going to be very, very bad? maybe it makes us feel better about the cops in our families, our friend groups, etc? maybe it makes us feel like it's alright to "agree to disagree" with people who excuse or outright support MAGA and Trump and the GOP, even though it puts other people at risk?

we're so used to seeing the renegade cop in stories about an abusive system, that it's easy to think that is reality when it is NOT. that guy went into police work for a reason, even if his uncle harlo thinks he wasn't cut out for it. maybe he'll be a white ally idk lol i bet they would do it well enough i just feel like that would be a very tone deaf thing to do and also a stupid trope i've seen a million times.

*not me lol I am not a cop and don't know any well, and I have blue eyes and am pasty but that's it. kyle is cool though i like that guy when i saw him with his red hair and mountain man beard i was like ???? man they really fashed him up LOL

#syril karn #star wars andor #andor spoilers #fandom racism #to be HONEST #i don't get that vibe from anon but lol we should always examine how we react to things #meta #anon sorry i saw some idiot posts on tumblr earlier and you just happened to bring something up :D #anonymous #asks #answered

4 notes · View notes

supergalaxysam · 11 months

Text

Home, Work, Family, and Romantic Life

There's a clear difference between healthy management of relationships and inappropriate management.

I believe I've crossed that line multiple times throughout my life, but especially within the past few years. The root cause behind crossing that boundary stems from a lot of the pain and distrust caused by other people within my own life, as well as my own personal [offline] communities, pertaining mainly to my previous occupation and hometown. While I am thankful for the positives these different relationships provided, the hurt they've caused is arguably strong. I wouldn't have made it to where I am today without them, but it's quite clear that my past with them has had an affect on others, and is something that needs to change, whether it be through removing myself from these spaces, and/or speaking to the associated parties who've affected me. I've managed to cut off one party, and changed occupations back in 2020, but the remainder I am still dependent on, and currently cannot remove myself from until I am capable of moving to a new place.

Hometown

Starting with my hometown's community, without revealing my location, I will state that I am thankful I can live in a place where it's mostly safe to walk the neighborhood streets at night. It is an aesthetically pleasing location to peruse through, but unfortunately the placement of the location and its politics isn't the best for my personal situation. It's geographically situated in an area that makes travelling to major cities and social areas difficult, and lacks enough interesting places to encourage outsiders to visit. The cost of living here makes it where only those who've retired and/or are well off can afford living here, further discouraging many to move here or least visit. There's not many profitable/livable jobs within the area, requiring any shot of making a livable income be to move--something that is a potential oxymoron as a trip to places with better wages can range between 30 minutes to an hour at minimum and gas is expensive. I've had peers back out from choosing to visit my area based on distance alone multiple times, which has personally hurt me despite understanding the reasoning behind the decision to not visit. Politically, while allegedly tolerant towards minorities, the growing strong vocalization of hate groups within the area is terrifying and difficult to deflect. In fact, one of the stressors earlier last year was news of a local public school being defaced by graffiti falsely claiming trans employees within the school district to be perverts. I also was personally targeted by a male stranger within the local mall who assumed my gender identity and told me I was attending the "wrong restroom" despite it being the correct one, simply because I had shoulder-length hair and he couldn't see my face. I was wearing a face mask during that moment, but since then, for my own safety, has stopped wearing face masks altogether and has grown out my facial hair to where it's very visible. I've also since cut my hair to a shorter length that hopefully locals will see as "more acceptable" to avoid future targeting. I honestly cried a bit after cutting my hair, because I was hoping to cosplay Identity V's character, Jose Baden [First Officer] without needing to rely on wigs, as his appearance was both validating to myself as a queer man, but also because using my own hair is cheaper than an expensive wig. I only make about 800USD a month, so even a wig costing 35USD can be a luxury at times for myself. I didn't enjoy having that freedom [of how I wish to style my appearance] taken from myself. I do not feel safe living here. Between the struggle I face from this area in regards to finance and location, and its politics, I find it difficult to see myself feeling comfortable having a continued future here. Doubly so as many of the people who I used to talk to within the area have since passed away and/or forced to close their businesses and leave, as the majority who I could spend time with were small business owners and/or elderly folk. Most who are around my age have moved out or are planning to move. I do not enjoy the social isolation created by this predicament, and I do feel that the solution to this issue would be to try forming outside relationships that can lead to an internship in transportation. While not a guaranteed solution nor set plan, I do believe the industry can result in a reasonable long-term job that's flexible in regards to where I can afford to live. Depending on which area within the industry, the pay is reasonable, and the jobs are always needed somewhere. I also already have some ties to this industry, and feel this is currently the best path going forward if I wish to change my relationship with my living space and its community.

Occupation (2019-2020)

Back in 2019, prior to the pandemic, I had taken on a full time job at a fast food joint, and also took a break from college for the fall semester, planning to return and finish college in 2020. I enjoyed my job because I was with a team whom I could connect to and be happy to enjoy the company of. I had a manager who was very proactive about our needs and rights, and even would fight for better pay wages for us, etc. from the company higher-ups. Without this team, working at the job would've been unbearable and strongly isolating. However, due to the neglectful practices the company follows, when COVID-19 struck, our location was shut down for the near full duration of 2020, and we weren't compensated with any pay for the situation. We were left with no communication from the company, and no idea of when we could begin working again. The only income I would receive was from government stimulus checks, and a small part-time job that would become my current occupation--while thankful for both, neither alone nor combined could equate to the near monthly 2k USD that my manager fought to ensure we'd get paid. Prior to this aforementioned job, I had worked other jobs in the retail and fast food industries, with most of them often times letting me down via allowing me to be subjected to poor practices, abuse, and neglect. To have a job that provided me with a good social space I wanted to be in, that also paid me well enough (thanks to my manager's advocacy) to actually afford expensive luxuries such as a gym membership and manage to save up to 3k USD in savings, to be suddenly taken away from me with no word made me decide this would be the last time I'd allow myself to be so open to any job. I've since been more picky about any jobs I apply to. I only got proper word from higher ups about my job in October of 2020. I made the decision to tell them I quit, as I simply saw no point in coming back after how they responded to the pandemic. I assumed most of my team had moved on by then, and therefore had I agreed to continue, things wouldn't be the same at that job. I'm fortunate to have cut ties with that job, and am thankful for what it did provide me during my time working it. I'm also thankful for my current job, despite the pay, as it provides me more time to focus on myself and where to go within life. My current job has given me a rough idea that I'd like to potentially work in the transportation industry, and has also provided me the necessary connections I need to move forward towards a potential job shadowing so I can work towards ensuring I have a job when I can afford to move. I'm still struggling with what I'd like to do for long-term work, but I do feel that working as an online creator and working within the transportation industry may just be right for myself. I want an occupation that allows me to not work for more than 25 hours a week and provides decent pay, as I'd like to be home more often for both myself and the people in my life. I'm also working on honing in on my traditional art skills in order to potentially make some income off of fursuit and cosplay commissions. I feel this is likely the direction I currently want to move towards to ensure I can harbor a healthier future for myself and others.

Father

For quick context, it must be understood that my relationship with my father has always been a mess. Between being unable to be there for most of my life thanks to his occupation, to how I'd be indirectly treated as a therapist when I was a minor or be inquired to discuss topics that should've been best discussed when I was at a more appropriate age, it's safe to say I've barely gotten any healthy and proper "father-child time" with him. He also harbors more conservative and hurtful views, and considers himself a self-proclaimed asshole, with little to no interest in changing his ways. He's a fairly authoritative individual, and hates to lack control within situations. He's a man with untreated PTSD that he fails to manage appropriately, and thus has had moments where it's been triggered and resulted in negative outcomes. Most times in the past it's often yelling without any verbal nor physical threats, and in my childhood, it used to often manifest as a knee-jerk response to suddenly being woken up. This knee-jerk response often meant being at risk of suddenly getting punched if too close to him, so I often couldn't approach him if I needed something while he was sleeping (which was often--if he wasn't at work for weeks, he was usually asleep).

I'm currently very dependent on him, and he has specific future goals and expectations in mind for myself that I do not agree with, but I struggle to find alternatives to. Much of what he's said and done hasn't been healthy to my upbringing nor my current adult life. He often underestimates my capabilities, and assumes he knows who I am, when reality is he barely knows me as a person. He's not pleased with my identity as a queer man (trans), and would rather want me to be a lesbian. He fails to respect me as a person; He opts to refer me to the incorrect name, pronouns, etc. despite clearly appearing as a young man and having undergone HRT, top surgery, legal changes, etc. even when I do try to correct him.

Despite being thankful for his willingness to provide for me financially and materialistically (in regards to basic needs), I lack interest in having talks with him, and especially have been keeping my distance--both physically and metaphorically--from him whenever possible, especially after his treatment of me in late spring-early summer of 2022.

During that point of 2022, I was minding my own business in the home bathroom, and he didn't know who was inside. He asked if a certain family member was in there, and I answered "no" because it wasn't in reference to me. My response apparently came off accidentally as a non-neutral tone to him, as I was busy doing my personal business, and thus he snapped and became very aggressive towards me. He started spewing transphobic remarks towards me, asking me if I want to fight him, etc. and began violently hitting the walls around us to further threaten me whilst avoid risking allegations of physical violence. Since we were located in a narrow hallway that connects to the kitchen, and I knew if things escalated further, I'd be at major potential risk of danger, I tried to stay as calm as possible and make an immediate beeline from the location. He's physically stronger, larger, and faster than myself, and knows how to utilize martial arts techniques and wield knives.

Needless to say, I was very terrified and wasn't sure who to turn to. I wasn't sure if this was a one-time event, or a sign of what could later be a pattern. It was all an unknown formed from a uncomfortably terrifying event. While I have one close friend whom I trust living nearby, I didn't feel comfortable knowing they were close to home and that my father knows where they live. I didn't know if I could rely on the small SoCal cosplay discord community I was apart of at that time for help, as many members lived far from us and he wouldn't know their addresses, but I didn't know if confiding to them about the event was acceptable. I wished that I had least spoken to the moderators about it. I didn't have anyone else I felt I could reach out to who was far enough from my home in case I needed to spend the night away from home. Nobody in the house who witnessed the event or was someone I spoke to about it spoke up about the inappropriate actions he took.

I felt my life was in potential danger, as this event happened after the news about the previously mentioned school and personal encounter with a transphobic stranger. I felt very small, lost, and scared. This behavior he enacted on indirectly resulted in negatively affecting my friendships I harbored during that period, and I've lost friendships because of his actions and other issues at play. I did try to confront him about his behavior last winter, as I didn't want it to continue and indirectly affect future relationships. While he has agreed to let my mom confront me about problems and inquiries instead of himself, I've chosen to keep a far distance from him and try to make it visibly clear I want to permanently be distanced from him. I intend to cut ties with him once I am independent. He's done far more harm than help to me. He currently doesn't know how he's impacted my relationships however, as currently I believe he'll try deflecting his influence despite his belief that your own actions influence others.

Ex-Boyfriend

I've admittedly talked about him on my socials, but in vague mention, when discussing his infidelity. I have contemplated whether to openly out him for his behavior, and I think I've finally come to the conclusion that I will mention who he is, and what specifically he did in regards to cheating. I believe this is how I'll personally obtain closure for good whilst ensuring there's least some repercussion for his actions, as I do not believe infidelity should be without repercussion for the enacted actions.

Anjel, better known as ShadowWulf82 on twitch and most of his socials, was my boyfriend and main collaborative stream partner for a year (2020-2021). While there were other issues within the relationship I had with him--both when I was romantically involved with him, and after breaking up and remaining distant friends till last summer--his cheating is the biggest one.

Late within our relationship, Anjel began talking to me less and less, and neglecting our relationship more often. This would continue from winter of 2020, and well into spring of 2021. Around mid-spring, he'd neglect our relationship completely, only to later inquire meeting up late spring. I agreed, and thus we met up to celebrate both my college graduation and our 1 year anniversary.

Before I continue with the confession, I'd like to preface that Anjel informed me early on in our relationship that he's polyamorous, but we made the decision to keep it monogamous as I wasn't ready nor felt comfortable engaging in polyamory, especially since this was only my second relationship and first in-person romantic relationship I've had. This was one of the boundaries we firmly established.

Going forward with that information, when we had our celebratory outing, he decides to confess to me near the end of the outing that he's been seeing a woman he met on tinder for least a month, and told me he's sorry for not informing me earlier. I was taken aback about this information, but tried to remain calm and mature about it. I felt very hurt and wasn't sure what to do, since I'm still inexperienced with romantic relationships and therefore never been in a situation like it nor knew how to classify it. He utilizes the excuse, "But you know I'm polyamorous--" on me, and, since I barely got to spend time with him in person thanks to both the pandemic and his family life (queerphobic relatives), and wanted to keep our relationship, I simply consented to allowing him to let this other individual into our relationship.

Since I wasn't aware it was considered cheating at that moment, I felt very uncomfortable and hurt, but didn't know how to classify it. I simply just tried to research polyamory and be supportive of him, as I believed that was generally the appropriate thing to do as a partner. I talked to peers more experienced with relationships, and also talked to my queer polyamorous elders, all of which said the relationship he and I were harboring at that moment didn't sound like polyamory.

He'd go on to take advantage of my support by continuing to neglect me within our relationship and instead focus on the young woman for the remaining duration of our romantic relationship. When he decided to break up with her and I, he asked me if we could "put our relationship on ice" and I strongly voiced I never wanted to date him again.

I vented to my close friend about the situation, and didn't talk to him for a while. I kept my distance from him, and wanted to cut him off entirely, but my mother insisted we'd stay friends since he still wanted me in his life, and she enjoyed his company during the few visits he had at my house.

For the rest of the year and early 2022, I felt very lost, hurt, and confused. I felt very uncertain about further engaging in any future romantic endeavors with people because of the struggles faced with me being queer and also the damage caused by the cheating, despite sincerely wanting to eventually be in a long-term relationship one day. Any potential actions from people that could be seen as signs of flirting, having a crush on me, etc. I'd shut down or turn away from, and I'd refuse to pursue any crushes at that time in fear of endangering them thanks to my trans identity.

It wasn't until spring of 2022 when some new friends provided me with the contextualization that what I experienced with Anjel was indeed considered cheating. Whether he intended it or not, he engaged with another romantic relationship without asking for my consent first, and went on to take advantage of my naivety about polyamory.

I finally had a word to describe what I went through, and it provided me a chance to process things better, but it still hurts to where I sometimes have a hard time watching others engage in PDA around me, so often times I shyly look away, ashamed of myself, or just simply dissociate. I'm not proud that this is the response I provide when presented with seeing a couple enjoy their time with one another, as it has nothing to do with them. Seeing PDA just happened to be a reminder of all the time lost from constantly being unable to see him in person, and to the cheating he committed to.

My relationship with him has currently ended with me eventually cutting him off and blocking him from contacting me after he proved to not be a great friend post-romance.

#blogs #blogging

0 notes

bulgariansumo · 1 year

Text

After sliding around my OCs like an abacus for a while, I have finally maybe definitively sorted them based on how normal they act vs. how mentally ill they are.

Here's the blank, btw.

I was gonna write notes on why I placed each character where I did, but that might fill up the entire chart. I'll just put those thoughts under the cut.

Galactiquest

Leon's Normality: He's a little dense and has more childlike wonder than is expected at his age, but he's otherwise normal.

Leon's Mental Health: Up until Angelo showed up on the ship, he was living his best life. He doesn't really have hang ups aside from that situation. It is a lot to deal with though, so I put him low on the mentally well half.

Mia's Normality: Mia could blend into any crowd. However, she's a little more socially averse than the average person.

Mia's Mental Health: Sees herself as a cog in a machine and numbs herself out of fear of having her joy crushed. Not great.

Roxie's Normality: Roxie lives in her own world, and doesn't bother being normal.

Roxie's Mental Health: Her fear of death influences her life more than she lets others know. Otherwise, she's having fun.

Jun's Normality: They're a little goofy at times, but always down to earth.

Jun's Mental Health: They're doing well in general, but there is something to be said about them agreeing to go on such a dangerous mission while being aware of the consequences.

Aiden Normality: While he's not exactly weird by nature, he ignores social norms if they get in the way of what he's trying to do.

Aiden's Mental Health: A strict upbringing, homelessness, and prison took a toll on him, but he's doing pretty well despite all that.

Angelo's Normality: He tries to be normal around most people, but has some cryptid-like behaviors. He also gets really intense about people who are nice to him.

Angelo's Mental Health: He is an anxious mess whose self-esteem is below the ground. A very sad boy.

Emil's Normality: Acts mostly normal due to years of picking up on social cues, but seems to always be putting on a performance.

Emil's Mental Health: People pleasing disease. Also riddled with insecurities.

Lorenzo's Normality: Strict and cold to the point where it unnerves most of his peers.

Lorenzo's Mental Health: Raised to be paranoid. Also holds himself to a high standard mentally, physically, and morally. He's very anxious about social situations, but he doesn't realize this and won't admit it.

Hinimato

Higgy's Normality: Off-camera, Higgy is arrogant, rude, and blunt. Most people are either intimidated or annoyed by him.

Higgy's Mental Health: People wonder what caused Higgy to be the way he is. There's no answer. He's not hurting in the same way as the other people I put in the Mentally Ill half, but he does cause a lot of his own stress and problems. Also he's a workaholic and a perfectionist and proud of it.

Nicky's Normality: Nicky acts charming in front of cameras and people he wants to make a good impression on, but outside of that, he is extremely bizarre.

Nicky's Mental Health: Nicky is almost always having a good time. His only real issue is not feeling responsible enough.

Maxy's Normality: His bold and loud personality attracts many friends and fans, though he can be a little childish.

Maxy's Mental Health: He's got some insecurities related to his biological father and frustrations about his brother Toni latching onto Higgy instead of him. Otherwise, he's doing great!

Toni's Normality: He's very childlike for his age and feminine for a boy, traits that are toned down some for the cameras. He also likes bugs. Before he got famous, his peers picked on him a lot for these things, as well as his academic struggles.

Toni's Mental Health: He may not think much of himself, but he holds the belief that everyone deserves basic kindness. Though he's got a few crises going on related to his gender and growing up.

Mai's Normality: She doesn't try to be normal, but she is for the most part. However, when she's not, she is very much not. She'll say something like "As your benevolent leader..." or "Well duh, I'm invincible!" and fully believe in it.

Mai's Mental Health: Raised to believe nothing less than being the best is good enough, Mai doesn't fully consider herself human. Little mistakes that others would not think twice about become full-blown crises for her, but she doesn't allow herself to acknowledge that she made a mistake, so she just convinces herself of her own lies. It's bad!

Kenji's Normality: He really is just some guy.

Kenji's Mental Health: All the plants and coffee in the world is not going to fix his workaholism. It doesn't help that between his boss and his students, he feels like he's the glue keeping that company together. All in all though, he feels like he's living a full life, much better than when he was performing on stage.

Benji's Normality: He's a little eccentric and prone to taking risks, but that's just part of the charm of being a funny uncle (figure)!

Benji's Mental Health: If his husband weren't so far away, he'd be doing good. Kenji taking a vacation for once in his life might also help.

Tsuki's Normality - She's abnormally shrewd for her age, but otherwise, she's a normal, big sisterly type of girl.

Tsuki's Mental Health - She's pretty put together, but taking on the responsibility of protecting her friend's jobs from company executives has to take some kind of toll.

#oc meme #ocs #galactiquest #hinimato

1 note · View note