#these are just thoughts i had while i’m desperately trying to convince myself i’m not some kind of npc in my own life

[flowercrowngods]

it’s 2am and i can’t stop thinking about steve lying in bed with robin beside him and they’re both supposed to sleep and robin’s quiet, so steve has time to think. he doesn’t like that. he’s almost about to ask her, beg her just to ramble away again — it’s the reason she’s his person, after all. she talks so he won’t have to think. and he listens so she won’t go mad. they just work. soulmates.

though steve isn’t sure she knows that’s one of the reasons she’s his favourite. robin and dustin. always talking. always louder than his thoughts, always drowning out the three very loud songs that are stuck in his head simultaneously, layered in with questions that could be of universal interest if only steve could focus on them long enough to decipher them.

nightmares and flashbacks are only part of the reason steve sucks at sleep. only part of the reason he refuses to go even one night without dustin or robin.

everything is always so loud. and when everything is loud, steve sort of freezes. and when he freezes, he wonders what’s the point. what’s his point. beyond all this. who is he when he’s not babysitting teenagers or fighting inter-dimensional monsters?

is he even supposed to be anyone beyond that?

even before all that, he wasn’t really anyone. he wasn’t himself — but he doesn’t even know what that’s supposed to mean, so he tries not to think about that too hard. he took on a role, something that was expected of him, something that was easy. it’s not so easy now, but it’s better. but still, it feels like a role. like he’ll lose himself completely once this is all over.

the question in his head has always been, who is steve harrington to the world? but it should be, who is steve harrington to himself? and maybe that is the question. it’s just, he wouldn’t know. there are too many at once. it’s too loud. he can’t think.

so he shifts in bed and turns around to face robin — their eyes meeting in the dark. the moment he opens his mouth to ask, the words escape him.

robin takes his hand. he sort of wants to cry.

“what’s wrong?” she whispers, and he hates her a little bit for always asking, for knowing how to do that, for knowing the words, for knowing him.

he swallows and tries, closing his eyes so he can pretend he’s talking to himself. “who do you think i am?”

because who am i to you? is stupid. dingus, she would say with that smile and steve would ache too much to rephrase the question or make her believe he’s longing to be something other than dingus. or at least find out what that means to her.

and because who am i? would have freaked her out too much.

robin squeezes his hand and breathes a very soft, very gentle, “steve” that cuts into him all the same. he’s a bit tired of that name, whatever that means. or maybe he wants it to mean something.

“forget it, sorry,” he mumbles and tries to pull away his hand, but robin won’t let him. steve sighs, and it’s almost a whine, almost pained, almost a person.

“no, let me, let me think about it. it’s just, you’re… you’re steve.” and she says it like it could mean something. like maybe it does. like maybe there’s hope, at 2:13 in the morning. “you’re a fucking asshole but also the nicest person i know. the kindest. the most caring. you’re the person who always makes me laugh, who always has my back, who would… you’d die for me. you’re the person i don’t really understand because you do everything with everything you are. everything you have. and you don’t even know, i think. you’re the person i thought i hated for a while, the person who showed me who i am even when you didn’t even know i existed. you’re the person i want in my life forever. but i don’t think there’s a word for this other than steve, so you see my predicament here. you’re steve. my steve. and that’s sort of the best thing anyone can be, if you’re still asking for my humble opinion.”

oh. so it does mean something. many somethings. future somethings, too. the kind that make the noise inside steve’s head quiet down until there’s only robin and the absolute amount of love he has for her.

so he shifts once more, but this time to lay his head on her chest, his arms around her in both of their favourite position. she hugs him back immediately and steve breathes out an, “okay.” as if she didn’t just save him a little bit. as if he was just making sure.

she smiles and he can feel it in her whole body. he returns it. the night’s worries can’t touch them like that.

[bueckers]

UNFINISHED BUSINESS ━━━ paige bueckers ( 2 )

synopsis: putting an end to everything, drea thinks she’s totally and completely done with paige bueckers. that is until the blonde is finally honest with her.

pairing: paige bueckers x fem oc

warnings: angst and smut. they’re so toxic but also like made for each other.. alcohol use, scissoring, fingering, lots of paige’s hands.

notes: another long one so there wasn’t any major cliffhangers, hopefully this makes up for the wait.. :) also a paige & flau’jae feature because i love them sm.

The morning sunlight filters through the hotel curtains, and she’s sitting at the edge of the bed. I can feel the space next to me where she was lying, still warm but empty now. She’s moving around, getting dressed, and I’m fighting the urge to reach out and pull her back into bed. But I know I shouldn’t.

“You don’t have to go yet,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. It’s more of a plea than an offer, and I hate how desperate I sound. I can see her hesitate, her back to me as she fiddles with her shirt. For a second, I think she might stay, but then she turns to face me, and I can see the determination in her eyes. Why was it so difficult for me to just say it?

“Except I do. We never actually talked… if you missed that part,” she says, and I try to ignore the slight raise in her voice.

In attempt to busy myself, I grab my shirt from off the ground and pull it over my head. “The whole point of last night was to avoid that, Drea. We ain’ gotta talk about it.” I respond, and I’m only half joking, but I still wince at how much of a dick I sound.

She’s serious, and instead of agreeing or starting an argument, she ignores it. “Look,” she starts, and I can see her struggling to find the right words, her eyes glued to the bedsheets. Not me. I want to tell her she doesn’t have to say anything, that I get it, she deserved an explanation. But I don’t want to make it easy for her. Not when I know this is probably the last time we’re going to be like this.

“Last night.. it shouldn’t have happened.”

I furrow my eyebrows. "You don’t gotta say that. It’s not like we didn’t both want it,” I huff out.

She looks at me a certain way, and I can tell she hasn’t put much thought into what she’s saying. But she’s saying it anyway. "That’s not what I mean," she says quickly, like she’s trying to fix it. "I’m not saying I didn’t want it. I just… I shouldn’t have let things get so deep between us. How things ended.. it’s my fault.”

Her fault? She shouldn’t have let things get so deep? Theres no way she means these things, right? She stands there, biting her lip, and I know she’s waiting for me to say something. My throat feels tight, and my mind is a mess. I’m caught between wanting to shout at her, to tell her how wrong she is, and just shutting down completely.

This is Drea. The one person who’s always known how to get under my skin, in ways both good and bad. And now, while she’s standing right in front of me, telling me she regrets how deep we got, that basically, she thinks I cut her off because she caught feelings, I can’t help but feel like a fool. I spent so much time convincing myself that she didn’t feel the way I did, that I’d imagined the whole thing. Now it turns out she was in it too. And I don’t know what to do with that.

I wanna tell her to stop, to not say anything more. But I can’t let myself be that vulnerable, not when I’ve spent so long trying to protect whatever pieces of myself I have left. This is, like, the biggest joke of my life, and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

When I finally do speak, my voice comes out quieter than I expect, almost detached. “So, what now? We just pretend none of this ever mattered?”

Drea’s eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I see something flicker in them—regret, maybe, or doubt. It seems like this is the most straightforward conversation we’ve had about the way we actually feel, and everything’s coming to light and an end at the same time. Just as quickly, she pushes it away, her expression hardening, and it makes every dot in my mind connect. “I’m not saying it didn’t matter. It did. That’s why we need to stop.” She’s trying so hard to be the rational one, to be the one who ends this cleanly. But nothing about this is clean.

I nod slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Fine. If that’s what you want.” God, I even sound bitter.

She looks at me like she’s searching for something—maybe a reason to stay, or maybe just confirmation that this is the right choice. But then she sighs, her shoulders sagging with the weight of it all, and I know nothing, at least in this moment, would change her mind about me.

“Please take care of yourself.” She kept me grounded when I couldn’t find my footing, and those words just feel so cruel. It sounded like we’d never be speaking again, and I hated that thought.

I nod, unable to trust my voice, and then she’s gone. And just like that, it’s over. Or at least, it’s supposed to be.

A few days pass in a blur, and my time in Phoenix is slowly coming to an end. It’s safe to say the events of the city had only temporarily kept my mind off of everything, and now I’m sitting in a bar with Flau’jae, trying my best not to let the rain cloud over my head poke out. She’s talking, animated as ever, but I’m only half-listening, my mind drifting back to Drea more often than I’d like to admit.

“You’re not even listening to me, are you?” Her voice cuts through my thoughts, pulling me back to the present.

I blink, forcing out a smile. “Sorry,” I apologize, stretching my arms out in a way to reset. “I’m listening now. Promise.”

Flau’jae narrows her eyes at me, clearly not buying it. “Nah, you’re not,” she says, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “What’s got you so deep in thought? You’ve been acting like you’re here, but not really here, y’know?”

I shrug, trying to play it off. “Just tired, I guess. Been a long week.”

She studies me for a moment, her gaze sharp. “Uh-huh. And this long week wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain someone, would it?”

I bite my lip, trying to stay cool. Flau’jae doesn’t know about Drea and me—no one does, really. We made sure of that. But if anyone’s gonna pick up on something, it’s her. I should’ve known better than to think I could just sit here and pretend everything’s fine.

“Maybe,” I say vaguely, hoping that’s enough to satisfy her curiosity. “I just got a lot on my mind, I’m fine,” I reassure, furrowing my eyebrows as if it was nothing to worry about.

She raises an eyebrow, leaning in like she’s about to uncover some big secret. “Stuff, huh? Girl stuff?”

I roll my eyes, trying to play it off. “You’re too nosy for your own good, you know that?”

She grins, laughing a little. “Paige! Come on, spill. Who is she?”

I hesitate, and for a second, I consider telling her everything. But that’s a slippery slope, and I’m not ready to go there. So instead, I won’t reveal too much. “It’s complicated,” I sigh.

Flau’jae crosses her arms, fully intrigued. “Complicated how?” She could be a detective.

I sigh, raking a hand through my hair. “Just... complicated. Things didn’t end the way they were supposed to. And now I’m stuck trying to figure out what to do next.”

She nods slowly, taking that in. “So, you and this girl… y’all were close?”

“Yeah,” I huff out, nodding as I press my lips together. “Real close.”

Flau’jae gives me a knowing look. “Thats who you was texting last night at the game?”

“Maybe,” I drag out, a shit-eating grin gracing my face. Then I slip up. “I was jus’ too scared to say anything to her face.”

Her eyes widen, and she brings a hand up to cusp her lips. It takes me a bit to realize, and as soon as I do, she cuts me off. Damn it. “Thats why you was hugging her a little too long after the final buzzer.”

“Hey! I ain’ even say a name,” I say quickly and louder than intended, trying to backtrack.

She leans forward, eyes wide with amusement. “You didn’t have to! You gave me everything I needed to know. Paige, what the hell? You and Drea, for real? I didn’t know you had game like that.”

I jerk my head back, scrunching my face up at her. There was no doubt that Drea was one of the prettiest faces in the game, and the fact that she can ball too just really adds to it. “I can show you what these rizz hands can do,” I joked momentarily. “It wasn’t even supposed to be a thing, though. We kept it on the low for a reason.”

Flau’jae shakes her head, holding her lips a little tighter now. “You know what Twitter would do with this? You been out here sneaky-linking and didn’t even give me a heads-up?”

Sneaky-linking? Was that really what it was? “Can we stop talking about this?” I say, half-laughing despite myself.

“And y’all met in high school, too. That’s some next-level soulmatism or something.”

I chuckle, licking my lips as I lift up my drink. The clinking of the ice fills the silence, and I’m able to put a close to the conversation. “It’s over now, anyway. Doesn’t matter.” It’s a lie. We’d clearly went over that it did matter.

Flau’jae studies me for a moment, her eyes narrowing as if she can see right through me. But then she lifts her hands up in surrender, a smirk playing on her lips. “Alright, if it’s really over, how about you find someone tonight? You could use it if I’m being honest,” She retorts, referring to the mood I’ve been in the entire night because of my situation.

“Chill!” I laugh, shaking my head as I lean back in my chair myself. “You make it sound so easy.”

She shrugs, and I hesitate, taking a second to let my eyes wander around the bar. A couple of eyes meet mine, lingering longer than what’s considered normal. I’m not sure if they might know who I am, or just think I’m attractive. Or maybe both.

Flau’jae seems to notice too, shooting me a wild and bright smile. “See? you still got it. Just make a good choice.”

The car hums beneath me, the city lights flashing past as I sink into the leather of the backseat, my head leaning against the window. I can still taste the alcohol on my tongue, and my mind is replaying the past few hours like a hazy, disconnected reel. All I can think about is her.

You’d think after a night out I’d at least be able to get the mass of Drea off my mind, but I think it just made everything worse. No matter how hard I try to push her out, physically and emotionally, she’s always there, right on the edge of my thoughts.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, my thumb hovering over her contact. I know I shouldn’t text her. I know it’s a bad idea. But our last conversation on repeat and the emptiness from earlier are making my judgment untrustworthy, and before I can stop myself, I’m typing out a message.

Yo, you up?

I stare at the screen, the words staring back at me. It’s a weak attempt, but I’m past caring. A part of me almost hopes she won’t respond, that she’ll leave me to deal with the consequences of my choices alone. But then I add another text, like I can’t help myself.

Idc if you’re not

It feels like a challenge. Like I’m daring her to ignore me, to stay out of it. But I know that’s not what I want.

I swallow hard and send one last message, my fingers trembling slightly as I type.

You still in Phoenix, right?

The words hang there, waiting for her response. My heart pounds in my chest, and I can’t tell if it’s from the countless amounts of dirty shirley’s or the anticipation of hearing from her. Or both. I really hope I don’t throw up in this car.

I lean back in the seat in attempt to relax, but I can literally hear my heart beating. I wonder if the driver can, really. I don’t know what I’m hoping for, but I know that if she’s still here, if she answers… I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist whatever comes next.

The minutes stretch out in silence, broken only by the occasional sound of the car’s tires hitting a pothole. I keep my eyes glued to the screen, watching the three little dots appear and disappear. I should put my phone away, maybe even go back to the hotel and sleep this off, but I can’t. I’m too far gone for that.

The Uber turns down another quiet street, and I feel the weight of my decisions pressing down on me. It’s not just about tonight. It’s about all the nights that led up to this, every bad choice that brought me to this moment. The thought of facing it alone is unbearable, and I realize that’s why I texted her. Not because I want her to come over, but because I don’t want to be alone. Or that I do, just with her.

My phone buzzes in my hand, and I almost drop it in my rush to check the screen.

Why?

A single word, blunt and to the point. She’s guarded, as usual. But the fact that she responded at all makes me happy enough.

I just… I hesitate, staring at the blinking cursor. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, but I settle on honesty.

Just wanna see you. Is that so bad?

I hit send before I can second-guess myself. My fingers hover over the screen again, and then I add another message.

I don’t wanna stop seeing you fr

It’s more than I planned to say, more vulnerable than I planned to be, but it’s the truth. And I’m too tired of pretending otherwise.

The reply comes quickly this time, and I can almost hear her voice in the words.

Are you drunk texting me right now?

And no, you mean you don’t wanna stop fucking me

Her words hit me like a punch in the gut, and for a moment, I just stare at the screen, the bright light from my phone casting harsh shadows in the dark car. I can feel the truth in what she’s saying, but it’s only part of it. Yeah, we’ve been physical, and I’m not denying that’s been a big part of this whole thing, but it’s not just that.

No, Drea. It’s more than that. We both know it always was.

You said it three days ago.

I hesitate before hitting send, but I know I have to. I can’t keep hiding behind the bullshit. She deserves better than that even if she won’t appreciate it.

The reply doesn’t come right away, and the silence feels like it’s pressing in on me from all sides. I shift in my seat. This whole thing—this whole night—feels like I’m balancing on a razor’s edge, and I’m terrified of falling off.

When her response finally comes, it’s short.

It’s 2am.

Ok, it’s not ideal. but I can’t stop thinking about everything you said.

And everything I didn’t say.

There’s another long pause, and I can almost picture her on the other end, trying to figure out what to say. We’ve been dancing around each other for so long, caught up in this push and pull, and now it feels like we’re on the verge of something, but neither of us knows how to take the next step.

Then, her next message comes through, and it’s enough to make my chest tighten. It’s hesitant but willing.

Where are you?

Outside your hotel.

Her reply is instant this time.

Come up.

I shove my phone into my pocket and step out of the Uber, my mind on a million as I make my way to her room. Every step feels heavy as if I’m walking through mud, but there’s a part of me that knows this is where I need to be—where I’ve always needed to be.

When I reach her door, it swings open almost as soon as I knock, and there she is, standing in front of me. Her eyes are guarded, just like her text messages, but I can see something softer underneath. Something that tells me she’s just as scared of this as I am.

“Paige,” she says, her voice a little wistful as she fiddles with the door knob. She looks me up and down, almost as if I’m being examined before I’m allowed in.

I don’t know what to say, so I just step forward, closing the distance between us. “I’m not drunk,” I state, shooting down her concerns from a few moments ago. She wouldn’t proceed if there was a chance I wouldn’t remember anything in the morning.

She looks at me for another long moment, like she’s trying to decide if she believes me. Then, with a sigh, she steps aside, letting me in. The door closes behind me with a soft click, and I lean against it. Suddenly we’re alone in her room, the reality of the situation settling around us.

“I know I shouldn’t have texted. But I did, and I’m glad I’m here.” I ramble, although still stern.

She sighs, and the curls that fall perfectly over her shoulders bounce a bit. Shes in a pair of short pajama shorts and a long, grey Nike tee-shirt that could’ve been mine. Correction, it definitely is mine. “You’re making this so much harder than it has to be.”

“It doesn’t have to be hard. We can make it less complicated.” I try to reason.

She stiffens, her breath catching as she looks at me, her eyes searching mine. “I—“

“I’m serious,” I cut her off, my voice low as I step closer to her. I couldn’t tell you what I was thinking. “I don’t know when I’m gonna see you again. And I can’t… I can’t leave tomorrow without letting you know how much I care.”

I don’t say it out loud, but the words are there, hanging in the air between us. I love you. And I’m sorry. But I can’t bring myself to say it. I don’t know why. Instead, I just hope she can feel it, hoping she knows without me having to spell it out.

“You can’t keep doing this,” she says quietly, her back turned to me as she walks further into the room. “Running to me when you’re feeling lost. It’s not fair.”

“I know,” I admit, taking a step closer. “But I’ont know how to stop. I’ve tried, but… since you’ve been apart of my life it’s been hard to let you go. I don’t wanna lose you—“

“You already did,” she cuts me off, turning to face me, and it scares me how serious she sounds. There’s pain in her eyes, but there’s also something else—something that makes me hope, even if just for a second. “We both did.”

I close the gap between us, and I can tell it catches her by surprise because of the look she gives me. My hands gently cup her face. “Then why am I here? Why did you let me in again?”

She glances down at my lips, and despite being angry, she doesn’t respond with words. Physicality has always been our response for everything involving each other. It’s all we know. She leans into my touch, and it feels like a birthday gift. Her eyes flutter shut before she opens them again, and it’s enough to make me lean in, pressing my lips to hers in a kiss that’s more desperate than anything else.

She kisses me back, her hands finding their way to my shoulders as she pulls me closer, and for a moment, it feels like everything else fades away. It’s just us, tangled up in each other, trying to find something solid to hold onto.

But then she pulls back, breathless, her hands still resting on my shoulders. She’s looking down, like she’s fighting some internal battle. “Oh my God,” she whispers, shaking her head. “You are drunk.”

“I told you I’m not,” I murmur, trying to find her eyes and pull her back to me by the waist, but she resists, her fingers gripping my shoulders tighter. Her resistance is strong, her fingers digging into my shoulders as if she’s trying to push away the intensity of the moment. “Please, Drea.”

She shakes her head, eyes still averted. “I can taste the alcohol!” She brings her thumb up to brush over my lips. “I knew it, why the fuck would you lie?” She’s trying to walk away at this point, but my grip is too tough. I won’t let her go.

“No, listen,” I say, more eager and clear. “What I said, what I meant—none of that has to do with being drunk. I’m here because I need you. Because I want you. This isn’t just about tonight.”

Drea’s resolve falters, her eyes flickering back to mine with her perfectly arched eyebrows crinkling up just a bit. “You’re saying all the right things, but I can’t just ignore—”

I cut her off by pulling her closer, my grip firm but gentle on her hips. My thumbs move beneath her shirt, stroking her skin and feeling the muscle. “I know.” My lips are ghosting over her ear. “But please, just for tonight, let’s not think about it.” I press a kiss right below it. “Just be with me. Let’s just be here.”

“Paige..” she starts again, her voice softer this time, and I love it when she says my name. I lean in, silencing her with a kiss that’s both insistent and tender. She melts into it, her resistance breaking as she wraps her arms around my neck. Shes quick to sneak her tongue in, the movement making me wince, furrowing my brows at how good she tastes.

I guide her backward until her knees hit the edge of the bed, and she falls onto it with a soft thud. I follow her down, my body pressing against hers as our kiss grows more fervent. My hands explore her curves, skimming over the fabric of her shirt as it rides up, and I feel her shiver beneath me.

“Is this mine?” I breathe against her lips, the warmth of her hands on my cheeks making my face flush a vibrant red. Drea nods, her breath hitching as she catches the look in my eyes. Without another word, I grab the hem of her shirt and yank it up over her head, tossing it aside. The shirt hits the floor, and she starts giggling like a school girl, her chest now fully exposed and daunting.

The sound of her laughter makes my stomach flip, and I can’t help but grin, leaning down to capture her mouth in another kiss. This time, there’s no hesitation, no holding back. Our bodies press together, her skin warm and soft against mine, like it was made for me.

My hands begin to wander a bit too much, all the way down to her shorts. Slipping my hand in, I can already feel how wet she is. She lets out a soft gasp as I trace slow, deliberate circles against her clit firmly. “Tell me what you want, baby,” I whisper, my breath fanning over her neck.

Her body has always reacted to every touch, every word. She’s trying to stay composed, but I can tell she’s barely holding on. Her hips instinctively push against my hand, silently begging for more, but I keep my movements steady, torturously slow and sloppy. I want to hear her say it.

“You,” she breathes out, her voice wavering. She’s antsy, I can feel it—the way her muscles tense, the way her breath comes in shallow pants.

“C’mon,” I murmur, nipping at her earlobe. “You can do better than that.”

She whimpers, her hands gripping my shoulders, nails digging into my skin as she tries to find the words. “Please… I need—” She breaks off, a soft moan escaping her lips when I press harder, right where she needs it most.

But then she grabs my wrist, stopping me just before she can fall over the edge. Her eyes lock with mine, and they’re low, dark, and daring. Three words that are very Drea. “Stop,” she says, her voice firmer now, even though I can tell it’s taking all her willpower. “I wanna feel you.”

The way she says it—so raw, so desperate—it’s enough to make me slip into a trance. I pull back, my gaze lingering on her as I strip off the rest of my clothes, watching as she does the same. Every inch of her is so perfect to the point where it should be a crime, and I want to touch every part.

I lay back on the bed, and she climbs on top of me, her movements deliberate and careful as she positions herself right over the bottom half of my body. I let my hands slide down her sides, tracing the curve of her waist before coming to rest on her ass. I tilt my head slightly against the pillows, mouth slightly agape. I can’t resist giving her a gentle squeeze, eliciting a soft noise from her. I smile, and my hands linger there, holding her close as she settles into place. We’ve done this countless amounts of times, and every single time it feels different. Better.

“You’re so fuckin’ sexy, you know that?” I pull her hips down, aligning our bodies perfectly, and the feeling of her heat against mine makes my breath catch, but I’m still focused. “Could stay like this all night.”

Drea licks her lips, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she adjusts herself, the friction and jolting of our bodies a whole whirlpool of pleasure. “You better,” she whispers back, a teasing smile tugging at her lips as her hands grip my legs so she can find herself.

Slowly, she starts to move, her hips grinding down against mine in a smooth rhythm. Every slide of her body against me is agonizingly perfect, and I can’t help the groan that escapes as she finds a pace that makes my whole body push up against her.

My eyebrows furrow as I take sight of where we meet, her pussy flat against mine. The squelching of our juices together fills the room, and I lose it. Maybe the alcohol is accentuating the feeling for me, or she’s just this good. “Fuck…” I breathe out, my hands roaming up her back, feeling the muscles flex and move beneath her skin. “You feel so good. Always so good.”

Her response is a soft moan, her head falling forward slightly as she loses herself. I let my hands slide back down to her ass, guiding her movements, making sure every grind, every brush of our bodies, hits just right. I can feel her trembling, her thighs shaking as she picks up the pace, chasing that high.

I can’t resist teasing her a little, my hands kneading her ass as she rides me, my fingers brushing just along the edge of her entrance, close enough to make her squirm but not enough to give her what she really wants. She lets out a frustrated moan, hips moving harder, trying to get more.

“Paige!” she groans, voice full of need and just the right amount of anger, her breath coming out in ragged pants. “Stop playing with me. I can’t take it.”

My grip tightens, and I keep her exactly where I want her, reaching up to tuck a loose curl behind her ear, my fingers lingering as I brush my thumb gently along her cheek. “You can take it, baby,” I whisper. “I know you can.”

She looks at me with those pleading eyes, her breath hitching as she adjusts herself, arching her back more. The movement pushes her even closer to me, our bodies pressing together, and the feeling almost sends me over the edge.

Without warning, I dip two fingers into her entrance, the sight too pretty to resist. It makes her gasp, her body collapsing forward against me. Our skin sticks together, warm too from the sweat, and her chest is pressing against mine as she struggles to catch her breath.

Before she can lose herself entirely, I slide my hand to her lower stomach, pushing her back up, guiding her into place. “Nah, stay up w’me, ma.” My voice is shaky with the effort of holding it together. Out of breath, mouth wide open. “Hold that shit.”

She whines out, her voice high and so pornographic. “Mm—oh, I can’t…” Her words trail off into a desperate moan, her body shuddering as my fingers move in that come-hither motion, curling inside her just right. The feeling of her slick is almost too much to bear, making my head spin.

I push through, keeping her steady even as I feel myself starting to lose control. “You can,” I pant, my breath coming out in ragged bursts. “So close, I know you can do it.”

She’s trembling, her thighs shaking as she tries to follow my command, but I can see the strain on her face, her dilated pupils, the way she’s fighting to keep herself together. My fingers work faster, deeper, and she bites down so hard on her lip I swear it might bleed.

Finally, when I feel her body tighten around me, right on the edge of breaking, I tap her ass lightly with my palm and pull my fingers out just enough to catch everything. “Now, baby. Come for me.”

The moment I say it, she lets go, and we come together, our bodies moving in sync, the room filled with strangled noises. The pleasure is blinding, overwhelming, and I cling to her as we ride it out. She’s finally able to fall on top of me comfortably, hand resting on my chest.

We stay like that for a moment, tangled together, both of us shaking with the aftershocks, until we finally start to come down. I press a soft kiss to her temple, my heart still racing (for more than one reason I’ll admit) as I hold her close.

I can feel her hesitance, scared to move or say anything. But I can also feel her tiredness, the way her body sags against mine like she’s too worn out to keep up any walls.

Gently, I shift, moving my body so I’m laid up next to her, our limbs tangling together naturally. My arm stays draped around her, holding her close as she nestles her head into the crook of my neck, her breath warm against my skin. It feels good—too good—like maybe we could stay like this forever if we didn’t know better.

“I want you to mean what you said. All of it.” 

Her words hang, and I can feel her hesitation, the fear that I’m just saying things because it’s easier than dropping the bomb or just straight losing her. I swallow, pulling her closer.

“You’ont think I did?”

“Paige.”

“Drea, I do.”

She doesn’t respond right away, just presses herself deeper into me, like she’s trying to believe it, trying to let herself see us being more than what we are right now without it turning into shit. I know how hard that is, how many times we’ve proven we aren’t made for each other.

“Then prove it,” she finally murmurs, her voice a little stronger now, like she’s challenging me, daring me to back it up.

I nod against her, not sure if she can even feel it, but I know what she means. It’s not about words anymore—it’s about what comes next, and whether we can make it work. “I will,” I promise, and for once, I really believe it.

[nakahras]

᯽ one more hour • chuuya nakahara

synopsis • you finally find out who chuuya is after months of him lying to you. unfortunately, for chuuya, you’re not the only one that figures out the identity of your boyfriend and that makes you a target.

warnings • intentional lowercase, angst, fem!reader, mild/medium language, verbal arguments, depictions of violence/gore, mentions of guns/knives, depictions of panic/anxiety attacks, hospital setting, mentions of injury/blood, chuuya’s an idiot

wc • 6.2k

a/n • i’ve been in the biggest writing funk. ofc this loser ginger was the one to drag me out of it wiriwiieiwieiqi

“how long did you plan on lying to me for? were you ever going to tell me the truth or were you going to hope i just never figured it out and let me live in complete ignorance?” you pace around the ginormous penthouse you find yourself in for the first time since your relationship with chuuya had started.

that was almost 7 months ago now. you can’t believe the amount of times you’ve almost said ‘i love you’ to the man standing a few feet away from you in just the last month alone. it’s comical, actually. chuuya isn’t even that person to you anymore, you don’t no longer even know who he is. you knew him as this above average guy that was an executive for some sort of multinational conglomerate. the adoptive son of the ceo. some form of a nepo-kid. that’s how you rationalized him being so successful at such a young age. 

you didn’t even know he had an ability.

you were delusional to think that this relationship was going so well because you had found the perfect guy. the perfect guy doesn’t lie to you about being a mafioso executive.

you stop pacing. you’re the most idiotic person on this planet. you can’t believe this is your reality.

“god, i cannot believe you hid something like this from me, chuuya. i cannot believe i fell for it.”

you have to give chuuya some credit. while you’ve been pacing and practically yelling at him he has annoyingly kept his composure with a straight face. unfortunately for him, that pissed you off even more. you turn to him finally and stare at the man in silence. his composure doesn’t budge. he gazes back but it’s as if he’s looking right through you. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him this emotionless before.

you’re desperate now, trying to rationalize your relationship even after finding out he isn’t who you thought he was. because, for better or for worse, even though you haven’t outwardly said the words to him you had, in fact, fallen in love with chuuya nakahara. 

you feel your stomach churn and waterline burn, you needed him to say something, anything. “are you just going to stand there like a fucking statue all night? or are you going to explain to me what the hell is going on?”

“how did you find out?” his voice is tight but unfeeling, expressionless and cold.

how frustrating of him. instead of answering your questions he asks one of his own. you shouldn’t give him the satisfaction he clearly wasn’t going to give you. you shouldn’t. but you have a bad habit of reacting before thinking about it fully.

“you attacked the armed detective agency at the hospital i work at? how do you think i found out, chuuya? you know how many times you’ve picked me up from there? just because i don’t work in that wing doesn’t mean my coworkers don’t know who you are. they sent me videos of what happened. i had to pretend that wasn’t you. i almost convinced myself of it.” your breathing is becoming erratic and uneven, only shallow and short breaths escaping you.

chuuya looks to the side as if he’s thinking something over then he looks back to you, gaze unchanged. “so other people know?”

“yeah, i’m sure not everyone believed me that it wasn’t you.” you let out a frustrated sigh, “why does that even matter? you should be focusing on the fact that i know.”

“it matters…” the ginger doesn’t give you any further explanation as he pulls out his phone and starts typing. 

you want to pull your hair out. he’s ignoring you almost — actually, you think him ignoring you would be less frustrating. he’s completely dismissing your concerns, questions and feelings on the matter. and now he’s texting someone?

that’s it. you were done with this conversation and you were done with him. maybe for good. you walk away to your belongings. chuuya clearly notices your movement and watches intently as you put your coat back on. 

panic finally settles deep within his chest and his voice cracks with desperation as he asks, “where are you going?”

you notice the change and look back at him from the elevator doors. his face is still expressionless, however, your eyes wander down to his gloved hands and take note of the way he’s gripping his phone just a bit too tightly. you shouldn’t, but you give him one last chance to explain himself, he just needs to give you anything to make you stay. it doesn’t need to be big, it could be the most vague explanation. just something enough that you can grasp onto.

“i’m leaving, unless you plan on answering any of my questions?” you look at him with wide and expectant eyes — they’re hopeful even.

chuuya just stands there, again. his bicolored eyes are filled with regret but he keeps his mouth shut. you let yourself sit in the silence that’s been created for a few moments. letting yourself get worked up. he was really willing to let you go, rather than just tell you what’s going on. 

you let out a shuddered and wet breath, tears welling up in your eyes and lips trembling. “i didn’t think so…”

with that you leave his apartment with a tight chest and damp cheeks.

that was 4 days ago and it has been radio silence on your end. chuuya tried calling you later that night but you didn’t answer. since then, there has been no further attempts on his end either. you weren’t sure if he was giving you space or still didn’t know how to answer your questions, but you think you’d prefer him blowing up your phone with no answers as opposed to nothing at all. you’ve been crying over a quart of ice cream all afternoon. you felt pathetic, sitting on the couch in pajama shorts and a hoodie of chuuya’s that you’re pretty sure was left behind on purpose. 

you lean over to set the now empty ice cream container down on the table of your kotatsu. a whine is heard from your lap and you look down to see your previously sleeping cat glaring up at you with an accusatory look in her eye. your movement had clearly disturbed her umpteenth nap of the day. you look at your little companion with an apologetic smile and pet her as an sorry for moving around so much. the torti is quick to be appeased as she starts purring loudly.

mochi, your cat, was the only thing that got you through this entire debacle. without her, you think you may have let yourself wither away into an empty shell. 

mochi’s ears perk up and suddenly she’s on high alert. the cat leaps off of you and investigates something in the kitchen. you hear her hiss and then a sort of bang. your brows furrow and you let out a sigh, thinking about how she probably just made a big mess in the kitchen as she scurries back in the room to hide underneath the kotatsu, bushy tailed and, oddly enough, growling. 

you shimmy yourself out from under the warmth of the kotatsu yourself and get up to investigate the mess you probably had to pick up. as you near the kitchen you feel a draft — funny, you distinctly remember closing the window in the kitchen. 

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•

chuuya isn’t even pretending to listen to what’s happening in this meeting. he could feel the concerned gaze he’s getting from kouyou but his nerves are far too shot for him to even pretend to care. all he cares about is you. how you desperately wanted him to open up and be truthful, how betrayed you looked leaving his apartment with tears running down your face, how you wouldn’t answer his phone call that night and how you still hadn’t contacted him to make another attempt at getting him to explain.

chuuya would answer the phone in the middle of this meeting if you called at this very second. he had made up his mind when he finally came to his senses later that night. he always seemed to be one step behind when it came to relationships. being one step behind may be enough to ruin yet another relationship that he cherishes deeply.

the executive can’t comprehend what you’ve done to him. he’s felt on edge since the moment you left the penthouse. his fingers twitch in irritation, his skin crawls, his breath feels constricted. it’s like he’s coming down from a long lasting high. he was having withdrawals. he hasn’t felt this tense and unfocused since he tried to quit smoking a few years back when gin got on his ass about finishing a whole pack in one day.

actually, a cigarette sounded damn good right about now. mori would have a fit though, of course he’s always been a doctor to the core. so, the ginger falls back on tapping his foot incessantly and checking his phone obsessively. 

this meeting feels like it’s dragging, time moving in slow motion almost. it’s only been 30 minutes but to chuuya it feels like 30 hours. it’s agonizing to sit here when what he needs is a distraction. a mission where he can let out his frustration on some opposing force. he’s never been one to complain about meetings but it’s never too late to start.

the executive is ready to leave, literally 30 seconds away from standing up and walking out, but then something happens. one of kouyou’s subordinates urgently walks in and makes a beeline for her. an emergency, clearly, because everyone knows not to disturb an exec meeting otherwise.

kouyou’s eyes widen and flit to chuuya. this worried glance is different from her previous ones. it makes the ginger’s blood run cold and hairs stand on end. if he thought he was on edge before — that was nothing compared to this. 

kouyou wastes no time in reporting the issue as she shoos her subordinate away. “there was activity from one of our many opposing organizations. my people are working on pinpointing which one but… they broke into and vandalized several apartment buildings in the naka ward…” 

kouyou looks at chuuya again. her brows are furrowed in concern, it makes his stomach churn. why is she looking at him like that? what did she even say? chuuya wasn’t focused. he was on the verge of getting up to leave just two minutes ago. 

he was going to leave.

he needed a better distraction from his stewing thoughts of you. the longer he sat here the more time he spent thinking about how he should really just show up at your apartment door. surely, you wouldn’t turn him away if he was willing to finally explain things, right?

“they were all within a 2 kilometer radius of the yokohama city minato red cross hospital-“

mori interjects, “you mean the one you all took the liberty of storming while i was ill due to that cannibalism ability?” 

if chuuya wasn’t paying attention before, he is now. he thinks a knife to the eye would be better than this. physically: the executive is composed and stoned faced — but internally? chuuya is sinking in his seat wishing he would simply disappear. they’re all used to mori’s snide comments, his tongue always being quick and made of silver. sometimes, like today, his comments hit a little harder. 

so, even though they all try to stay composed, chuuya doesn’t miss the way kouyou flinches and once again her eyes flit over to him. 

“yes, mori-san, the same hospital…” the woman sounds almost pained as she talks, her internal panic slowly seeping out through the cracks. “most civilians were unharmed… but there were a couple women who were targeted and are now in critical condition at the same hospital. one of them was pronounced dead by the time she got to the hospital.”

mori hums, eyes cutting over to chuuya. “interesting. chuuya, don’t you have a little friend that lives in the same area?”

there it was. the reason kouyou was so concerned and fidgety. chuuya’s heart sinks and stomach drops to his feet. everything unfocuses, his vision going blurry and swirling. the ginger visibly turns pale and his blood runs cold. his whole body twitches, the need to get up and leave far too strong.

chuuya feels physically ill. how had he not thought of you the second kouyou said what ward it was? he was so busy thinking about himself and wallowing in self pity that he didn’t even think to second guess the information he was being fed. kouyou’s glances tell him it was bad too, or worse, she had no information on your status. 

this was chuuya’s fault. he has this sinking feeling that you were the target. he should’ve known you weren’t safe when you told him people at your work had connected who he was. he should have been more insistent on talking things out. he should have had you come over to his and stay over until he knew you were safe. hell, he should have at the very least set up a detail in your neighborhood.

this was all his fault. 

chuuya abruptly stands up, hands slamming on the table. “i should check on the situation. may i be dismissed, boss?”

“i don’t see why you shouldn’t. report back when you’ve got a handle on…the matter.” mori raises his eyebrows, not bothering to hide his obvious amusement at the executive’s reaction.

chuuya doesn’t notice, he doesn’t even give any of them a second glance as he practically flies out of the room to find the nearest exit to this god forsaken building. he finds an open window and easily hurls himself out of it, using his ability to hurdle himself through the sky. chuuya didn’t even think twice about, maybe, taking a vehicle. his mind was far too muddled to even register what he was doing.

this was all his fault.

he wasn’t looking for practicality right now anyway, he was looking at what would get him there the fastest.

“there” being your apartment. he didn’t want to assume you were attacked. maybe it’s just wishful thinking on his part. chuuya makes it to the average looking building in record time — which he’d boast about in any other situation, but now was not the time.

the gravity manipulator is about to circle your apartment to get to the front but notices something odd. the window at the side of your kitchen was wide open. you never did that, you only left it cracked open when you were cooking. chuuya enters your apartment the same way he left the port mafia building: through a window. 

what he sees next confirms his deepest fears. he’s had actual nightmares about this — or at least he thinks he has, having never actually been able to dream. but he’s woken up in cold sweats, throat raw from screaming, and a pit in his stomach with you on his mind. this was more like a waking nightmare, he imagines this is what the ones he can’t recall are filled with. 

there’s blood on the floor and also splattered across the walls and kitchen utilities. broken kitchenware is scattered across the wooden slats, your oven and fridge are out of place too. an obvious sign of a struggle. you clearly fought back. of course you fought back. chuuya had tried to teach you some self defense but with further observation he had learned that you grew up taking mixed martial arts classes. something about letting out your bad temper in a healthy way.

all the fighting skills in the world couldn’t save you from a bullet though. there was one lodged in your fridge and wall. as chuuya nears the other side of your kitchen he notices the front door is also wide open, two holes in it indicating more shots were set off. 

then chuuya sees it. his stomach churns violently, so much so that he almost doubles over and retches at the sight. a trail of blood that ends at the front of your apartment and then…

a bloody handprint.

your bloody handprint.

chuuya would recognize it anywhere. he’s memorized every detail of your hands from the size down to the swirls in your fingerprints. you had to have dragged yourself out of your home for help. 

chuuya is glued in place. he feels like his whole world is crumbling around him. the edges of his vision going white as the color falls from his grasp. his ears are ringing, the white noise becoming louder as his mind runs wild. 

you weren’t here.

there was so much blood.

the smell of iron stuck to his nostrils.

where were you?

did someone take you to the hospital?

the hospital.

one of the women that was brought there was pronounced dead. even if that wasn’t you… all of the other women were in critical condition. he couldn’t imagine you being okay after seeing the scene laid out before him. 

chuuya was going to be sick. a wave of nausea crashes over him. he feels the bile clawing up his throat. he scrambles over to your kitchen sink, almost slipping on your blood. he doesn’t let anything out at first, just gags and dry heaves. then his eyes sting and what little contents he had sitting in his stomach are released. this time he really does vomit. 

the executive's breathing is shallow and labored. he looks down to where his hands are gripping the sink and realizes they’re now covered in your blood. he holds them up and his breathing quickens. his stomach churns and he shoves his gloves off. stumbling back as he stares at his trembling hands. it was too much. this was different from all of the gore and violence that comes with being in the port mafia. 

it was you, you were in danger and he wasn’t there. he couldn’t help you. he should have been there to help you. he should have kept you safe.

the only thing that brought chuuya back to reality was a high pitched mewl that came from further inside your apartment. chuuya would recognize that little noise anywhere. mochi. he whips around to find the small feline peeking out from under your kotatsu. the orange glow indicating that it was still on. chuuya lets out a sort of wet and shaky breath. 

the ginger gently approaches the clearly spooked creature. he’s never been particularly fond of cats but for some reason yours took a liking to him and he couldn’t help but fall head over heels for the torti. much like he couldn’t help the way he fell for her mother. chuuya reaches out a finger and mochi hesitantly sniffs it. her eyes light up at the gravity manipulator’s familiar scent and nudges his finger with her nose. 

after getting the clear go ahead from the cat, chuuya leans in and picks her up. the torti nuzzles into him and she was still shaking — or maybe that was chuuya. he reaches down and turns the flammable item off before straightening himself and greet the small feline.

“hey, sweet girl, you scared for your mama too?” chuuya’s voice cracks and he knows he needs to get to the hospital but he feels a little guilty just leaving mochi here in this disaster of an apartment.

chuuya sighs and let’s the torti down. he pulls out his phone and sends out a quick message to kouyou, asking her to send a cleaning crew and to pick up the small creature and take her back to the gravity manipulator’s place. her response is sent mere moments after his own. he doesn’t bother responding. 

the ginger strides over to the front door. he makes sure to close it behind him so mochi doesn’t get out then makes a beeline for the hospital.

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•

”i’m sorry, sir, i pulled up her chart but you aren’t on her contacts list. unfortunately i’m unable to give you any further information.” the patient services rep behind the counter holds firm on her statement by giving the man a tight lipped smile.

chuuya’s bicolored eyes narrow in frustration. he knows, he knows, that the lady is just doing her job but she’s doing it so infuriatingly well. he’s desperate to know your status and his sanity is slowly losing its grip on him, he’s slipping away with each obstacle. as if answering a silent plea, a tap on his shoulder catches his attention.

the executive swivels around and is met with the sweet old lady that lives next door to you. she was always checking in with you. making sure you had enough to eat and were getting enough rest. you once compared her to your own mother, who is no longer with you but even when she was it was nothing like what the older woman does for you. when you introduced the woman to your boyfriend she was awfully judgemental of him at first, she was making sure he was good enough for you. he didn’t think so but apparently your neighbor thought otherwise, seeing something in him he didn’t see himself.

her usual smile is replaced with a furrowed brow and downturned lips. she was frowning at chuuya, something akin to scolding. the ginger felt oddly accosted by the woman standing before him. she’s never looked at him with so much contempt before.

she folds her arms across her chest and she lets out a huff, “what are you doing here, boy?”

chuuya flinches at her tone like she had just physically slapped him in the face. the ability user quickly recovers though, realizing if she was here that would mean…

you had to be here and you had to be alive, if not your neighbor wouldn’t be standing here in front of him scolding him. no, instead her face would be filled with grief. this was a good thing. 

you were still alive.

“where is she? i need to see her.” chuuya lets out a breath he’s been subconsciously holding in. 

the old lady bristles at his blatant disregard for her own question. “and why should i tell you? y’know, she’s been miserable the last few days because of you? she wouldn’t tell me you were the reason but i could just tell. what did you do to her? is this all your fault?”

chuuya actually takes a step back at her words. he felt like the woman had just punched him in the gut. the older lady packs quite the punch for how small she is, not even standing at 5 feet tall. she’s right, of course, this was all chuuya’s fault. 

it was all his fault.

”i didn’t mean to… she was supposed to be safe. i didn’t tell her anything to keep her safe.” he was rambling now, desperation seeping into his voice. “i just need to see her. please, please, ma’am, you have to tell me.”

the old lady falters, her scowl dropping and a pang of pity spreads across her chest. it doesn’t last long though. the implication of chuuya’s response, meaning he did have something to do with the fact you were in emergency surgery and would be in there for a few more hours.

you’d been rushed to the hospital. thanks to your neighbors, you assailants were scared off by the ambulance and police they called. after the first gunshot went off they were quick to make the call. 

you were brought in with a plethora of injuries. blunt force trauma to the head, 3 gunshot wounds (2 of which were still lodged inside of you), and several lacerations littering your entire body. all of which resulted in severe blood loss and unfortunately for you, since you weren’t the only one to sustain these kinds of injuries, the hospital was on a low supply of blood by the time you came in. 

the old woman is winding up to scold chuuya some more but she’s interrupted by a nurse walking up to her. the woman in scrubs looks exhausted, she must have been in the operating room with you. the nurse also looked worried, she must be a close coworker. 

“nakamura-sama? the surgeon wanted to give you an update…” the nurse’s eyes trail over to chuuya and her demeanor goes from concern to nervous, she nods at chuuya quickly, “please excuse us… nakahara-san…”

oh. she knew who he was. had she been one of your coworkers that he knew? chuuya’s guilt grows as he thinks he should remember who this woman is. this was all so frustrating. no one would tell him anything even if they knew who he was. the executive desperately wants to argue, to stand his ground and find out what was going on.

something occurs to him in that very moment. is this how you felt that day? when chuuya wouldn’t budge, wouldn’t tell you anything. shutting himself off. this was some sick and twisted karma. the universe was laughing in the ginger’s face and he only has himself to blame for it. 

a man’s voice speaks up, “the boy can stay. now why don’t you tell my wife and i how our dear granddaughter is doing?”

the nurse hesitates, looking to the older woman for guidance. mrs. nakamura squints at her husband for an uncomfortably long moment. however, the older man doesn’t seem bothered at all, he must be used to this type of scrutinizing glare from his wife. if chuuya wasn’t so distracted by your status he would be able to acknowledge that he wants that. he wants a future with you and he may be willing to give anything up for that.

mrs. nakamura clicks her tongue. “fine. the boy can stay.”

the nurse eyes chuuya for another moment before explaining your situation. she explains the injuries you sustained. that you’re still in surgery and probably would be for at least a couple more hours. you were doing surprisingly well, a fighter. of course you are. a warmth pools in the ginger’s chest. it was pride. 

“we have hit a small road block. due to the multiple victims being brought in… the blood supply is in the reserves. we have contacted other hospitals in the area and they’ve agreed to deliver us their extra supply. but it’s a process and it may take hours to receive any of it. do any of you know if you’re a match or a universal donor?” the nurse looks at the 3 of them hopefully, her gaze drifting to chuuya more than the other two.

chuuya freezes. he knows that he has type b blood, that’s not the problem. the problem is that he has no idea what your blood type is. he should know that, right? he’s sure you know his, sure you’re in the medical field but it’s common to know your partner's blood type. he should know this. 

he should know this. 

hanged, drawn and quartered. maybe a firing squad or even the guillotine. chuuya lists the ways he thinks he should be executed in his head. he’s had his head so far up his ass with trying to keep you in the dark about who he is that he hasn't even learned the most basic things about you. does he even know your favorite color? your favorite meal? your favorite song? 

this was the most criminal act he’s ever committed and that’s saying something considering the horrific things he’s done for the port mafia. this was bad. unforgivable even. this was all his fault and he couldn’t even tell the damn nurse if he was a match for you or not. 

what the fuck.

what the fuck?

what the fuck was wrong with him?

what does he even say? how does he tell the nurse and the old couple standing next to him that he has no idea if he’s a match for you? he supposes he can play it off. plainly state what his blood type is and leave it to the nurse to figure it out. maybe that could work. it would have to, he doesn’t have another choice. 

but before chuuya can even open his mouth the older man speaks up first. “i'm a universal donor, young lady. you can take some of my blood, i can’t possibly be using it all, i’m sure i have some to spare.”

the older man tries to lighten the situation as he chuckles at his own joke. his wife isn’t amused and even whacks him on his bicep with the back of her hand while clicking her tongue again. the nurse let’s out an uncomfortable laugh and looks to chuuya one last time. of course she would want to take a donation from a healthy young man. 

chuuya shakes his head and hopes to god he’s right when he says, “no, i’m- i’m not a match.”

”i see. mr. and mrs. nakamura, follow me please.”

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•

your head feels light, like a morning fog had somehow managed to roll in and settle in your mind. everything was so numb and heavy, your entire body felt like lead. you wanted to keep sleeping. you wanted this annoying light behind your eyelids to go away. who the hell left the lights on?

did chuuya forget to turn them off again? why were they so bright? these weren’t your lights at home, they couldn’t be.

where were you? 

why did you feel like you got hit by a bus?

most importantly, where was chuuya?

…chuuya…

oh. 

you remember now. chuuya was an ass. he told you a sugar coated version of his truth. twisted who he was to fit your ideals even though you had never asked that of him. then he ignored you, refused to tell your anything and left you to the solitary confines of your apartment. and then…

your eyes fly open and you gasp for air. you were assaulted in your own home. someone had broken in and attacked you. they had guns and knives. you were shot. 

where were you?

did they take you? no, they were trying to kill you. you’re sure of that. if it hadn’t been for the sirens that scared them away, you’re sure they would have finished you off.

mochi. your poor mochi. she must have been terrified. oh god, they wouldn’t have…she hid right? she was safely under the kotatsu. she had to be unharmed physically. she had to be. you couldn’t be here right now, wherever you were. you had to get home and make sure she was okay.

distantly you hear this annoyingly incessant beeping and… someone's voice? what is it saying? are they speaking to you? your name. they’re calling for you but- 

who is it?

no. it wasn’t anything intelligible, it was screaming. it was your screaming. you were screaming. why were you screaming? 

a wave of fatigue crashes down on you, drowning you in darkness as you sink back into the depths of slumber.

the next time you wake up, you’re less confused. whatever anesthesia you were previously under obviously had worn off by now. the fog was certainly lifted and you were thinking much clearly now.

you haven’t opened your eyes yet but just by hearing the beeps coming from the monitors next to your bedside, you could piece together you are in the hospital and therefore you are safe. more importantly you’re alive. you try to bring your hand up to rub at your eyes but there’s a weight holding it down.

your brows furrow at the restriction. you stir only slightly, any movement you made right now was agonizing. you let out a grunt as a shooting pain courses through the entirety of your body. this wasn’t good, something like this was going to take a lot of time and physical therapy to recover from. 

how frustrating-

“are you awake?” his voice is gruff, filled with exhaustion but it was clear who was speaking to you.

you could pick out his voice from millions others. even worse, his voice never fails to soothe your soul. instantly your body relaxes from whatever tension it’s been managing to hold onto. traitor. you’re supposed to be upset with him. you should yell at him, kick him out. 

but… he stayed. he was here, he found you and stayed. how unfair. you’re tired, too tired to deny yourself the comfort he brings you. because despite everything, it’s still him. 

you think it will always be him.

so instead of crying or yelling or getting upset you simply give in. “yeah. i’m awake.”

you open your eyes, finally, to look at him. he looks like shit, it would be funny under any other circumstance. his hair is a mess, clearly he had been tug at it, nervously running his fingers through it. his usual under eye bag had bags. the dark circles a stark contrast against his porcelain complexion. 

if it weren’t for the fact that you were the one in the hospital bead, you’d think you two were here for him. after you examine him you look at his expression. it’s grim, he looks truly pathetic. you can only describe it as being akin to a wounded puppy. 

you let out a sigh but before you can even get another word out, he’s speaking. “i should have told you. i wasn’t thinking about you- i know i wasn’t but i convinced myself i was. i convinced myself that i was keeping you safe by not telling you but- i was a damn fool for that. this is all my-“

”chuuya, shut up.” this was so painful, you didn’t want to hear any of this. 

you are tired. you just want him to be there for you. you want him to comfort you. you just want your boyfriend. at this point you couldn’t care less about the bullshit he kept from you. at the end of the day it was his character you’ve fallen in love with and that was more than enough for you.

chuuya looks at you stunned. his words catch in his throat and he thinks he might actually cry. it’s been a while since he’s had the urge to cry like this. was this it? he almost lost you to death. now he was going to lose you in another way and he only had himself to blame. 

the ginger can’t even blame you for your decision. 

after all, this was all his fault.

“i don’t give a shit about who you are. tell me. don’t tell me. whatever. you found me and you’re here now. i just need you to be here. i-“ you choke on your words, you hadn’t realized but you’d started crying and it hurt. “i love you. i need you to not blame yourself for this because you need to be here for me and show me you can do this. please show me you can do this, i wont ask for anything-“

you can’t finish your thought. your lungs are constricted as you're held in his vice grip. you missed him. god, you missed him so much. his embrace is home. he’s your home and that’s terrifying. despite what you said you still have so much to learn about him. chuuya scares you but only because you feel so incredibly safe with him. 

you’ve never had that before and something tells you he’s never had that either. 

“i’m here. hell and back, i will always be here for you.” it wasn’t a direct admission but you don’t question it. this is the closest you’ll come to a declaration of love from chuuya for now and you’re okay with that. truthfully, you didn’t expect him to say anything.

you try your best to return the hold chuuya has on you. you get an arm around him loosely and rest your forehead on his shoulder. you’re still crying, like a baby. it would be embarrassing if it was anyone else. his hand is holding your head gingerly. it’s comforting and you manage to calm yourself down. you pull back, still sniffling but eyes no longer producing tears. 

your eyebrows furrow, something pressing returning to the forefront of your mind. “did you stop by my apartment? has anyone checked on mochi? is she okay?”

chuuya finally smiles for the first time in what feels like days — it might have actually been days since he last did. he pulls out his phone and produces a picture of the torti that kouyou had sent him. he hands the phone to you and you smile fondly as you let out a small puff of air, relief spreading throughout your chest.

“i asked kouyou to bring her to my apartment for the time being. i think she’s taken a liking to it.” 

you look at the picture then back up at chuuya, entirely unamused. “have you seen your apartment. i could fit like five of mine in it? of course she likes it there.”

something warm spreads across chuuya’s entire being. this scene is oddly familiar. reminiscent of the older couple from earlier. this was pure happiness, this is what it felt like. 

chuuya was going to make sure to cherish it deeply and keep it safe at all costs.

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Blood Ties Chapter 8

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore, vomiting, child injury, allusions to gunshot wound, pregnancy complications A/N: Okay, this one turned out to be a monster. My brain is fried so any mistakes I made, I'll fix later. I really really hope Daryl isn’t OOC here. I tried to put myself in his shoes, knowing what I know about him. Anyway! On with the show!

Moodboard by @dannyo000 💙

You stayed closer to the RV while the group had gathered around Carol to provide support. While you wanted desperately to be there for her, you couldn’t help but feel a strong sense of guilt. Your baby was safe inside your belly while her Sophia was lost in the forest. 

Rick had dispatched the two walkers that had scared the little girl into running, but found her missing when he returned. He had since taken Daryl, Glenn, and Shane back into the trees. Daryl was a tracker and a damn good one. If anyone stood a chance at finding her, it was him. 

“You okay?” 

You startled from your thoughts to see Andrea staring down at you with concern etched onto her face. You must really look like shit. You had completely forgotten about food and water along with the items you had gathered once you and Daryl had made it back to find that Sophia had disappeared. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” You didn’t sound very convincing even to your own ears. You were still dizzy with a trembling in your limbs that just would not subside. Your stomach was still uneasy. When wasn’t it uneasy, actually?

“You’re looking a little pale. Can I get you anything?” She laid a hand against the RV and leaned into it. 

“Some water, if they found any?” Your voice was so gravelly, your mouth dry. Your lips felt as if they’d split open should you smile. 

“Yeah! Shane found a ton! One second!” 

Then she was off! You didn’t have the energy to track her movements, instead deciding to place your forehead against your knees. You truly did feel horrible. If this was what women called the joys of pregnancy, you would pass, thank you very much, and just get handed the baby. 

“Here.” Reluctantly, you raised your head, finding a plastic cup at eye level. With a minute nod, you sipped slowly at the cold drink. It felt like heaven on your parched throat. “When’s the last time you ate?”

“Huh?” You were absolutely abstracted. When she asked again, you really had to stop and think. “I guess at the CDC.”

“Oh, hun. That’s not good. Let me see what I can find for you.” Andrea began to turn but stopped when you laid a hand on her arm. 

“I really don’t think I can stomach anything. Everything makes me sick.” You ran a hand through your hair, grimacing when your fingers became trapped by some knotted stands. You had eaten the candies Carol had given you with only mild relief. There was not a second of reprieve from your stomach attempting to crawl out of your throat. 

“You need nutrients. For the baby.” She urged, crouching down in front of you. 

“I know. Maybe I can try when they find Sophia and we can go back to the normal amount of fear and anxiety.” One side of your mouth lifted into a ghost of a smile when you heard her chuckle. 

“Okay. But let me know if you change your mind.”

“Thank you. I will.”

Glenn and Shane returned first, the former handing out tasks to keep everyone busy. Most likely trying to control panic. You were no exception. The man sent you to grab the things you had found. You didn’t hesitate to inform him there was too much to retrieve on your own. 

“You’ll just have to make trips then, won’tcha? He scoffed, turning away and leaving no room for argument. 

You still wanted to show how useful you could be but you felt like hammered shit. The dizziness and trembling remained, and your ass met the pavement once you had arrived back to your treasure pile. There was no way you were coming back out there again. Listening for any signs of danger, you began to consolidate. Only the most useful things were placed in the suitcase, the remainder left on the ground. Zipping up the thing, you were beyond grateful for the wheels. 

Daryl and Rick had returned by the time you made it back. Sophia was not with them. Carol was in hysterics. Honestly, you weren’t sure that she had ever left the mindset. It didn’t take any persuading for you to relinquish the bed in the RV to her that night. 

Come morning, weakness and exhaustion were a suffocating blanket wrapped tightly around you. You wanted to stay there and sleep but that wasn’t even remotely an option. Not while Sophia was out there. 

Everyone was issued a weapon. You were given a second knife and holster, this one taking up residence on your hip. Only Shane, Rick, and Daryl were carrying firearms. Some bogus bullshit about everyone else needed to be trained. You were trained. However, there was no use arguing and you felt too horrible to engage in a losing battle. 

“What’re ya doin’?”

You lifted your head to find Daryl glaring at you. “My taxes. What’s it look like?” You replied with an over exaggerated roll of your eyes. 

“Ya ain’t goin’.” His tone left no room for negotiation. Unfortunately for him, there was no way you could care less. 

“Not asking permission, Dixon.” You made to walk by him but he caught your arm in passing. With a stern look at his hand on your bicep, you hissed “let go.”

“Nah, ya need to stay here.”

“I can take care of myself.” 

“Ain’t you m’worried ‘bout.” He shot a pointed look at your stomach. 

You snatched your arm free. “That’s sweet, but again, I’m not asking your permission.” It was getting easier and easier to walk away from him. You weren’t so sure that was a good thing. 

Andrea and Dale were engaged in what appeared to be a heated conversation as you passed by. You had an inkling on what it was about but it was none of your business. It was Andrea’s choice and she felt it had been taken from her. You could sympathize, recalling the helplessness you had felt when Jenner closed those doors. You and the blonde were on opposite ends of that spectrum. You had wanted desperately to live while she had been ready to die. 

The group had already crossed the guardrail and entered the trees with you and Andrea pulling up the rear in a jog until you caught up. While she continued forward, you chose to hang back. Daryl had taken the lead, constantly scanning for footprints or other disturbances that could possibly indicate Sophia had been through the area. You could have helped him, but it would likely not be well received given he had rebuffed the idea of you being there in the first place. 

“Stop lagging behind.” Shane grumbled at you, halting his steps until you passed him. “Shouldn’t even be here.” You weren’t sure if he had meant for you to hear him. Nor were you sure of his reasoning. Because you were a stranger? Because you were pregnant? Regardless, you let it slide. You were there to help find Sophia. 

Your steps remained steady which meant Lori had slowed her own while talking with Carl. Yet another conversation you had no right to hear, but you did offer a tight smile in passing. You ended up behind Glenn, absently comfortable with that. He had said the least to you but when he did speak, he was kind. 

It wasn’t much further before Daryl gave a signal to slow. When he lowered into a crouch everyone followed suit, including you. The transition left you dizzy and leaning forward to place a palm on the dirt in order to maintain your balance. The all too familiar twist and cramp of your stomach signaled the impending purge. Maybe you should have stayed behind. 

Your steps were silent as a ghost. You retreated from the group, backtracking as far as you safely could alone before you no longer had control. All the water you had managed to drink splashed onto the dirt, leaving you once again empty. You were going to die from starvation or dehydration at this point. It was a terrifying reality. The only option would be to find a pharmacy and seek out something for nausea. But what was safe to take during pregnancy?

Your first few steps were unsteady but you managed to level your gait at some point while tracking your way back to the others. Before you could really gauge whether your absence had been noticed, there was a tolling of bells in the distance. Church bells?

The small group as a whole began to sprint toward the sound but you? You couldn’t run if you tried. The dizziness was worsening, your extremities feeling not unlike lead weights. You knew now Daryl had been right. You should have stayed behind. Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. Now, you had no choice but to move forward. Making the trip back to the RV alone would be more dangerous than falling a little behind your group. At least they could hear if you called for help. 

When you finally saw the space in front of you open up to an old church house and the familiar shapes of your fellow party members, you could have cried. Well, actually, you probably physically couldn’t cry. Dehydration was taking hold, a fact that you knew without anyone pointing it out. You hadn’t needed to pee since the previous afternoon. Your tongue was sandpaper. Your skin was dull and a bit itchy. You were going downhill and you didn’t know what to do about it. 

When you noticed that a portion of the group had broken away from Rick, Shane, and Carl, you wondered if your mind was beginning to go as well. Why were they splitting up? Lost in your confusion, Daryl was nearly on top of you before you even realized he was approaching. 

“What the fuck d’ya think you’re doin’?” He hissed in an exaggerated whisper. Oh, he was mad. Oh wait. He seemed to always be mad. “Don’t think I didn’t see ya sneakin’ off back there. You’re gonna get yourself killed.”

“You’re right.” You stood a little straighter. If you had to admit you were wrong, you would at least be confident about it. 

“D’ya think this is a game? There’s fuckin’ corpses out—wait, what?”

You barely suppressed a chuckle at his expression. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be out here. I’m a liability and I’m—not okay.”

“Daryl, we should go.” 

He held up a hand, silencing Andrea without even looking back. “Whaddaya mean ‘not okay’?”

“I can’t eat. I can’t even drink water without puking. I think—I think I might be—”

“Nah.” He interrupted, shaking his head. “Don’t even say that shit. Just need to getcha back to the RV. Y’can rest an’ I’ll take the bike. Find some meds or somethin’. Doubt anythin’ in Merle’s stash would be good for the kid but I’ll check anyway.” 

“Huh.” You raised your eyebrows, damn near astonished. 

“What?”

“I think that may be the most you’ve said to me at one time since we’ve known each other.” The corner of your mouth lifted and—it may have been a hallucination—you could have sworn you saw his lip twitch as well. 

“Stop. Can ya walk?”

“For now.” You took slow, albeit steady, steps to go around him, noticing that he never once tried to get ahead of you. He was worried. If you were this sick, what were the chances of your baby even making it? What if it was gone already?

“Let’s head back.” He instructed as the two of you passed by the suspicious gazes. Daryl had to lead them but his actions made it clear they would walk at his pace or venture ahead and get lost. Right now, his pace was your pace. You couldn’t make everyone suffer for your inability to keep up. The point was to search for Sophia, which meant as much ground needed covered as humanly possible. With a great amount of difficulty—and a few unsteady steps—you managed to pick up some speed. Daryl had taken only moments to be at your side once again, dipping his head as if requesting an explanation. 

“So this is it? This is the whole plan?” Carol’s meek voice came from behind you, both you and Daryl turning to regard her. With a hand on your shoulder, he steered you to a downed tree and pushed you to sit. 

“I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller an’ smaller groups.” You felt a tap against the front of your shoulder while holding your head in your hands. Daryl was still focused on the discussion but was offering you a tumbler of water. 

“Thanks.” You mumbled. You’d be stupid to let your pride persuade you into rejecting the offer. He gave you a nod and continued to listen to Lori's defense of her husband. Personally, you had nothing against Rick and believed he had once again made a call that was twisted to come back and bite him in the ass. No one wanted to blame him but in the face of fear and grief, blame was an easy scapegoat.

“C’mon.” Daryl gave you a moment to take one more sip and then helped you stand, clipping the water container back to his belt loop. It was blatantly obvious that his concern was for his baby, which in turn ensured that he made sure you were safe and healthy, but you couldn’t lie: having him be kind to you was something you wished you could grow to depend on. It was nice. Fleeting but nice. 

A wave of dizziness had you listing to the side, only briefly fearing you’d fall before you felt his arm around your waist.

“Easy.” His voice was calm, almost soothing to your frayed nerves. As you got your feet back under you, you nodded that you were okay. He lingered, watching you with those deep blue pools. If you weren’t careful, you could get lost. 

Several feet behind, Andrea cleared her throat, pretending to be looking at something up in the canopy when both you and Daryl quickly separated. How long had you been staring at him? Your cheeks warmed, actually managing to make you feel impossibly worse. Although, he had been looking right back. The tiniest of smiles upturned your lips, unbidden.

And then there was the unmistakable echoing crack of a gunshot.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly, terribly wrong. Whether it was you or someone else in the group, the unease in your gut was more than the ever-plaguing nausea. Behind you, Lori had stopped again to look back from where you had all traveled from. 

You were all watching her, but Andrea was the one to speak up. “You still worrying about it?”

“It was a gun.” The dark-haired woman replied, her gaze still far away.

Daryl hadn’t moved from your side, and he was doing a terrible job at hiding his disquiet. “We all heard it.” 

Lori looked like she might start moving forward again, but she only managed to shift on her feet before looking back. “Why one? Why just one gun?”

You saw Daryl glance at you from the corner of your eye. He was losing patience. “Maybe they took down a walker.”

With a tilt of her head, her expression screamed unimpressed. “Please don’t patronize me. You know Rick wouldn’t risk a gun to put down one walker, or Shane. They’d do it quietly.”

Carol fidgeted where she stood, looking as if she felt she had to say something. “Shouldn’t they have caught up with us by now?”

Daryl took a breath. “There’s nothin’ we can do ‘bout it, anyway. Can’t run ‘round these woods chasin’ echoes.” He chanced a glance at you, and you knew then that he was eager to make them move to get you back to the RV. You’d never say anything yourself. That much was clear by how you had started to push yourself to move faster when you shouldn’t have been moving at all. Unfortunately, Lori didn’t seem to like that answer.

“So, what do we do? Same as we’ve been?”

“Beat the bush for Sophia, work our way back to the highway.” He hadn’t moved far from you at all, but extended an arm to indicate you should turn around and start walking. When there was a distinct lack of footfalls, you were the first to look back. Daryl looked at you before following suit. Carol and Andrea were engaged in conversation, though their hushed voices kept the nature inaudible. Daryl started toward them, waving you off when you tried to call him back.

“We’re all hoping and praying with you, for what it’s worth.” Andrea was offering a soft smile, extending some comfort to Carol. You winced when Daryl leaned in toward them.

“I’ll tell ya what s’worth—not a damn thing. S’a waste’a time, all this hopin’ an’ prayin’. We’re gonna locate that little girl. She’s gonna be just fine.” When he turned, you hid your smile behind your hand. “M’I the only one Zen ‘round here? Good lord.” There was nothing you could do to keep from chuckling. “Glad ya think s’funny.”

“Sorry.” You mumbled, still smiling, but at least treading onward. 

It wasn’t much longer before your legs felt like they might fail to hold your weight. Not only weak, but aching. You could feel your pulse pounding in your head. Daryl continued to offer you water, never bothering to drink any himself, you noticed.

“How much farther?” Lori gave voice to the question you had been thinking for the last half hour.

“Not much.” Daryl reached for you when you stumbled but you shook your head. His eyes remained on you when he continued his reply. “Maybe hundred yards as the crow flies.” The answer seemed to satisfy her for the moment at least. “Hey.”

You grimaced as the cramps you had been feeling in your legs seemed to move into your stomach. You hadn’t realized that your hand had immediately pressed into the area. When you finally heard Daryl and looked at him, you were bombarded by the naked concern shining in his eyes. 

“Y’want me to carry ya?” 

Though taken aback by his offer, especially in front of the others after he had spent the better part of the day more focused on you than on the tracking he was out there to do, you shook your head adamantly. “No. No, I’m good.” Another cramp, only slightly sharper than the one that preceded it. It was still enough to have you draw a hissing breath through your teeth.

“Don’t mind. C’mon, ya need to rest an’ we’re losin’ daylight.”

Before you could turn him down a second time, Andrea began screaming somewhere nearby. When had she wandered off? Daryl was readying his crossbow, tapping Carol on the shoulder as he started running. “Stay with ‘er!” He pointed back to you. The woman nodded even though he was long gone.

“You okay, honey?” She asked, brushing some hair away from your face after you selected a tree to lean against. “You look terrible.”

“I just need to rest. Maybe try to eat something.” You all but panted. The pain was still sporadic but each seemed to hurt worse than the last. As it was, you were torn between needing to vomit and the urge to drink the entire container of water Daryl was carrying. 

There was an awful commotion from the direction everyone had disappeared. Daryl soon came sprinting through, slipping the strap of his crossbow over his head before he reached you.

“Sorry.” He huffed between breaths at the same time he swept you up against his chest and continued toward the highway, everyone else right on his heels.

“What happened?” You asked breathlessly. If he noticed, he didn’t comment on it. 

“Some girl came ridin’ on a horse. Saved Andrea’s ass but she was lookin’ for Lori.” Wincing at being jostled when everything already hurt, you opened one eye and caught his grim expression. “Carl got shot.”

The remaining members of your group made it back to the highway in record time without you holding them up. Daryl gingerly lowered you onto the steps of the RV and pressed the water tumbler into your hand. Then he left to go fill in Dale and T-Dog. 

Your hands were shaking as you sipped down some water. First Sophia went missing. Then Carl had been shot. Children weren’t spared from the cruelty of that world. You felt your eyes burn with the desire to cry, yet no tears would fall.

“There are no blessings anymore. Nothing real to hope for anymore.”

And for the first time, you considered the possibility that maybe what Jenner did had been intended as a mercy. How could you even consider bringing a baby into that hell? Maybe you should have stayed behind with Jacqui, letting her hold your hand as she had done after the blood draw. Maybe it would be better to let whatever was wrong with you steal from you until there was nothing left. 

Your chest began to pull tight again, your breaths quickening in an attempt to keep pulling in air. Your pulse was thrumming away in your temples, making your eyes ache and your vision blur. All you could think was how badly you wanted to cry but couldn’t. You sat up straighter in hopes that it would make breathing easier, a small sound escaping when your stomach cramped again. It must have been loud enough to alert Daryl because when you opened your eyes, he was walking toward you, his brow pinched in concern.

And in looking at him, watching him react to your discomfort because of the little life the two of you had created, you instantly regretted ever thinking your baby shouldn’t be allowed a chance. That Daryl shouldn’t be allowed a chance to be a father. 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me, Y/N.” 

You were grabbing at his arms and attempting to stand, but in your panic, your voice failed you. The ability to breathe went right along with it. Halfway upright, with Daryl’s hands on your upper arms to aid you, you managed two words: “Something’s wrong.” 

“Shit. Okay. Listen, we’re just gonna get everythin’ together. Leave a note for Sophia. Then we can—”

You cut him off with a scream that made his blood run cold. Your arms wrapped around your middle and held tight, trying to smother the pain stabbing relentlessly at you from the inside. In some distant, dark crevice of your mind, you felt him lift you and heard him shouting. There was the roar of an engine. Daryl’s bike. You blinked, dots and wavering images making it hard to decipher what was happening. You were sideways on the bike, cradled tightly to Daryl’s chest. How the hell? 

“Hey, listen to me. Ya listening?” You gave him the weakest of nods. “Need ta hold onta me. Means ya gotta stay awake. Can ya do that?”

“Son, take a car. We can move more around and make a—”

You blinked slowly and watched Daryl look up and away from you. “There ain’t time!” You blinked again, his blue eyes back on you. “Y/N, can ya do that?!” You didn’t– couldn’t –answer verbally, but moved slightly to wrap your arms around his middle as tightly as you could, which wasn’t tight at all. “Stay awake.” He was already moving, pulling his legs up as he picked up speed. When your stomach cramped again, you only squeezed him tighter with a sob. “I gotcha. Just keep holdin’ on. You’re doin’ great.”

Minutes felt like an eternity, and eventually, you sacrificed holding up your head so the strength in your arms could hold true. When you opened your eyes, all you could see was blue sky. Blue like Daryl’s eyes. Would the baby have had his eyes? 

The wind was no longer blowing. The sound of the engine had disappeared, but you were moving. Daryl was yelling. There were other voices but you were too tired; it hurt too badly. So when darkness beckoned, you took her hand.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: I’m On Fire*

————————————————————————-

Summary: When Joe mistakenly leaves his JB9 iced-out chain while at an away game, you bless him with a little photoshoot while you're hours away in Cincinnati.

Warnings: Smut

Paring: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Just the Two of Us

————————————————————————-

*No specific date for this fic!*

(y/n’s pov)

Joe had just left the house for an away game, and due to some work-related stuff, I wasn't able to go with him.

The pouty expression he gave me when we were standing at the front door just a little bit ago made me want to climb into his bag. His lower lip sticking out was oddly convincing, along with his blue eyes.

“Joe, you know I can't go, baby.” - you

“Please… I want you to go with me.” - Joe whined

“I wish I could go too, but I can't, J.” - you

Joe whined once again, but this time, it made me roll my eyes. My annoyance didn't last long, though, as he hunched over and laid his head on my shoulder.

“I love you.” - Joe mumbled

His face being pressed into my neck made his words muffled, but it was oddly adorable.

“I love you too, but if you don't leave now, you're going to be late.” - you

I laughed when he stood up straight and groaned.

“I'm gonna be so lonely by myself in my hotel room tonight.” - Joe

“We can Facetime, goofball.” - you

“Not the same.” - Joe whined

“Okay, enough whining. Goodbye, Joe.” - you

Joe stared at me for a few seconds, trying to come up with a response that didn't show how annoyed he really was.

“Bye…” - Joe mumbled

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Joe’s lips. When I pulled away, I giggled at the look of his flushed cheeks.

“Love you, sheisty.” - you

“Love you too.” - Joe grinned

——

Hours later, I was bored out of my mind, all alone in this big house.

I had cleaned almost the entire house, scrolled through Pinterest, made a dinner recipe I had pinned, and finished a show I had been binging - Fool Me Once.

There was pretty much nothing to do.

All I was doing right now was lying in bed, watching the ceiling fan turn, and feeling kinda sad when I got a whiff of Joe’s scent off of his pillow.

I missed him, and I saw him just hours ago.

That's what happens when your boyfriend turns into your best friend, I guess.

Joe’s game wasn't till tomorrow, but they'd probably just landed at their destination.

Maybe I should text him?

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I made up my mind and texted Joe.

hiiii

Ew, no. Sounds desperate.

What am I even talking about? I've been with this man for six years.

I had almost deleted my message, but Joe answered before I could.

HIIII! 😁

He's such a dork, I thought to myself with a giggle.

Wyd?

Nothinggg, hbu??

Do I tell the truth or make a lie to seem productive? In the end, I told the truth.

Missing you.

My heart warmed at Joe’s message back.

I miss you too. ☹️

Are you at your hotel yet?

It took Joe a few minutes to answer, but his reasoning was ironic.

Just got back from checking in actually. Imma head up to my room, take a shower, and then ft you.

Okay, I'll talk to you then! 🫶

Talk to ya then, I LOVE YOU! 🥰

I hearted his message and than sent the sentiment back.

Love you more, baby. 😘

The conversation ended after Joe’s simple but butterfly-inducing text.

Not fuckin’ possible.

——

We were on Facetime for way longer than we should have, but neither of us cared.

The call ended with the usual “I love you more” back-and-forth playful argument.

Joe won in the end, and I can't say I’m surprised because he always did.

After the call ended, I was just lying in bed, my head on Joe’s pillow, just to smell his scent.

I got bored eventually and decided to play around in the closet. Joe always forbade me from trying on his chains, but he wasn't here.

My eyes immediately widened with excitement as I opened the top drawer on Joe’s side of our walk-in closet.

Everything was cleared out except one chain, he probably took them all with him to have options for his fit tomorrow.

“Damn, this is heavy.” - you mumbled

It was the JB9 Nike check chain Joe wore for the AFC Championship in 2022.

One of my personal favorites out of his collection but too iconic to be worn again.

God, he looked so hot that day.

I stared at myself in the mirror, the chain of my boyfriend’s initials and number adorning my neck.

That's when I got the idea.

——

Settling into my bed for the night, I grabbed my phone and giggled to myself as I looked through the pictures recently taken in my camera roll.

Nothing but black lace and that iced-out chain.

——

Next Day

Joe won his game, and sure, I was happy to see him win, but being miles away from him and unable to celebrate with him put a damper on my mood.

I watched the game by myself in the living room, and then proudly watched his post-game conference.

Just a minute after Joe left the media room, I received a text from him.

Did you watch the game?

Of course. Watched your conference too, baby.

Joe didn’t answer for a few minutes, and I thought he might've gone to take his postgame shower, but his text back made me laugh.

I just got made fun of because I was blushing from your text. “You texting yo girl?”

What did you say back? 😂

I proudly said yes. 😁

A few seconds passed before another text vibrated my phone.

Hey, I gotta go shower, though. We're set to get home late tonight, so don't wait up on me.

What if I want to?

You'll wake up with me next to you in the morning either way, so no need to wait for me to get back.

He was right, so I left him alone to go shower.

——

It was around ten o'clock, and Joe had texted me just a little bit ago, saying they were on the bus to the airport.

Out of nowhere, with no context or caption with it, I sent Joe my little experiment earlier.

Attachment: 10 images

When I was left alone with Joe’s chain earlier, I took a little photo shoot with some black lace lingerie and Joe’s chain.

He'd usually take a power nap on his way to the plane, so I was surprised when his response was quick.

Joe sent a picture of himself with his eyes wide and mouth dropped open in shock.

The silly reaction picture made me giggle, but I had no idea that Joe had just pulled his bag onto his lap while on the bus in an attempt to hide the stirring between his legs.

Fucking shit, y/n. I'm getting so hard right now that I might have to rub one out on the plane.

No. 😘

Wdym, no?

How do I word this?

You always get pissed when I get off without you, how about a taste of your own medicine?

I don't get pissed…

Joe, honey.

Please, baby.

No.

Joe sighed and put his phone on his chest, discreetly slipping his hand down his sweatpants to rearrange the erection in his boxers. He's so hard just from the sight of nothing but lingerie and his initials in the form of diamonds on your body.

He so wished he was with you, inside you.

——

When Joe got home, it was really late.

You were already sleeping, so when Joe slipped into the bedroom he made sure to be quiet.

Joe stood there for a few seconds, just admiring how peaceful you looked while sleeping.

A small smile found its way onto his face when he noticed you were wearing his t-shirt and snuggled onto his pillow instead of yours.

After staring for a lot longer than he anticipated, Joe put his bag down and took his sweatshirt off before crawling into bed beside you.

You stirred for a bit, feeling the presence of someone else near you. After moving around for a bit, you were met with a hard chest, but you knew it all too well.

Joe grinned to himself when you snuggled into him, your face against his pec. He ran his fingers through your hair, and soon, you were peacefully sleeping again.

Feeling tired but unable to sleep, Joe discreetly grabbed his phone to see the messages he wasn't able to answer on the plane and his drive home.

You sent him a video?

Joe made sure his volume was down before pressing play on the video. His eyes went wide when he was met with the sight of you fingering yourself.

All at once, Joe’s heart rate picked up, he started sweating, and his cock stirred in his sweatpants.

He didn't need volume to know you were moaning his name with each thrust of your fingers. Joe was able to read your lips.

The sight of your head thrown back, bare chest, and your sweet heat swallowing your fingers had Joe fully erect in a matter of a minute.

He needed you badly.

Joe can admit he was thinking with his dick and not his brain when he shook you awake. In his defense, most of his blood supply was in the wrong head.

“Joey?” - you mumbled

“Shit- sorry I woke you up…” - Joe

“I missed you…” - you

His heart fluttered, and he hoped you wouldn't shift around and feel him. Please just go back to sleep.

In all honesty, Joe felt guilty waking you up with his sexual needs in mind. He felt horrible and selfish.

“Missed you too, baby.” - Joe

You moved around and Joe’s eyes went wide. Please don't feel it. Please don't feel it.

Abruptly, you paused your shifting and looked up at Joe’s face. Maybe she just found a comfortable spot?

It was hard to make out Joe’s features in the dark, but you could see his piercing blue eyes easily.

Unbeknownst to Joe, you'd felt his hard-on as soon as he got it, but you wanted to mess with him, make him beg for it.

Slowly, you reached your hand out and palmed his bulge. Joe bit his lower lip to stop an audible reaction as you started rubbing him.

“He missed me too, huh?” - you giggle

“Fuck- so much.” - Joe

“Take your pants off, Joe.” - You

Joe shed his pants and boxers off faster than the speed of light, all because his girl asked.

Now that he was completely free from restraint, Joe got even harder, and he didn't think that was possible.

You spit into your hand and firmly grasped his cock, a plan forming in your mind as you started to jerk him off.

Joe was a groaning mess, relishing in the feel of your hand around his length because he'd needed this for days.

Precum was beading at Joe’s tip, so you maneuvered yourself around to take him into your mouth.

“Sh-it.” - Joe moaned

He was close, so close.

“Baby- I'm gonna… cum!” - Joe

You pulled off of him, trying to follow your plan of edging him until he couldn't help but beg for you to finish him off, but Joe was too close to stop his inevitable orgasm.

With a loud moan, Joe shot his load onto your face, some making it into your mouth.

Both of you were surprised when it happened, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“I- I'm sorry…” - Joe

“No, don't be.” - you

You reached out and put a hand on his chest, rubbing comforting circles on it.

He grabbed a tissue off of his nightstand and wiped his cum off of your face.

“That was kinda embarrassing…” - Joe

“Why?” - you

Your voice was soft, a little sad yourself that Joe felt embarrassed.

“I don't know, I couldn't stop it from happening, but it happened so fast. Like under three minutes? That's embarrassing.” - Joe

“Joe, don't be embarrassed. How long you last doesn't matter to me at all, I just wanna make you feel good.” - you

He nodded but bit the insides of his cheeks.

“I think it's kinda hot that I can get you off that fast. Makes me feel good about myself.” - you

“Really? You don't think it's funny or embarrassing?” - Joe

“No, baby.” - you

You leaned up and pressed a big kiss to Joe’s lips, one of his legs slotting between yours, causing you to grind down onto his thigh.

“Mmm, Joey baby.” - you moaned

“That's it.” - Joe

——

Next Morning

You woke up with a grin on your face as you replayed last night's events in your mind.

Joe had gotten you off twice with his fingers and tongue before he filled you up with his thick cock.

In the back of his mind, he was still feeling a little self-conscious about his first orgasm of the night, but he wouldn't let it show.

When you two were in the shower cleaning up, you could tell something was on Joe’s mind and that something was what had happened earlier.

Without saying anything, you dropped to your knees when his back was to you. He turned around and looked down at you, his dick stirring to life at the all-too-familiar position.

Despite the fact you two had just gone four rounds, Joe’s craving for you was never-ending.

You'd slowly reached out to stroke him, and you finished him off with your mouth.

He manhandled you back to your feet before pressing you against the shower wall.

“If you want me to stop, I will, but you started this.” - Joe

The feel of his thick length against your behind, and his hands holding you in place was getting you worked up all over again.

“Fuck me, Joey.” - you

You two ended the night giggling in bed as you counted up the number of orgasms shared between you two that night.

“Four for me, four for you, gah-lee!” - Joe

“I’m not gonna be able to walk tomorrow morning.” - you

“Fuck I might even have a limp.” - Joe

You were pulled out of your fantasies when Joe walked into the bedroom. Toes curled at the sweet sight of him.

Joe wore nothing but a bashful smile, a pair of sweatpants, and raging bedhead.

“Hi.” - you smiled

“Hi. How'd you sleep?” - Joe

“Good. Get in bed with me?” - you

He did as you asked and curled up in bed beside you, pulling you into his chest in the process.

“Where were you?” - you

“Uh… nowhere…” - Joe

You sat up and looked at him, giving him a skeptical look as you narrowed your eyes at him.

Joe sighed and broke your eye contact.

“I was doing something downstairs. It was supposed to be a surprise after you got ready, but you can come downstairs now.” - Joe

You excitedly jumped out of Joe’s arms and ran out of the bedroom, your hand grabbing his as he followed you.

When you two got downstairs, you saw the dining table set up like a date. Breakfast on both of the plates and a bouquet of roses between them.

Joe walked away from you for a second and grabbed a rose.

He walked back up to you and held the flower in front of his bare chest.

“Go on a date with me?” - Joe

You grinned at your boyfriend so big that your cheeks hurt.

“Of course.” - you

Joe handed the single rose to you, and you stood up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his smooth cheek.

“Thank god, woulda been really awkward if you said no.” - Joe

“I'd never say no to you.” - you laughed

The blush on his cheeks went deep, almost to the shade of the rose he gave you.

You spent the rest of the morning laughing with the handsome man you loved so deeply, wondering about how you got so lucky, and thinking about your future with him.

You were so grateful to have a man you could laugh with, share secrets with, tell all the drama to, and have intense intimate moments with. Sometimes, all within the same day or hour.

It was scary to realize how much of yourself you put in Joe’s hands, but you trusted him more than anything.

The sweet thoughts and realizations were swirling in your mind and making you smile. You'd been staring out of the window, but your thoughts were abruptly interrupted…

*BURP*

Your wide eyes snapped over to Joe, who was holding a hand over his mouth and shared the same wide-eyed look.

“Sorry, didn't expect it to be that loud.” - Joe laughed

“Gosh, I love you.” - you laughed along with him

————————————————————————-

Authors note: GOT IT OUT BEFORE MONDAY! 😆

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! ❤️❤️

[lilisette]

An Astute Observation | Caleb/Reader

About: A short what if scenario wherein you noticed Caleb didn't get any snacks at all. Who could've thought you catching eye of that would change the outcome of the story?

Pairing: Caleb/Reader

“We’ve been outside for too long. Gran’s going to be worried.”

“You’re doing it again. Go inside by yourself. I’m not your sidekick.” You huffed at Caleb, watching him approach the front door of Grandma’s home. But instead of following him, you paused. “Wait. Did you even get the snacks I asked for?”

“I thought you said you’re grown up now? Get it yourself.”

You pouted. The gall of this man you have as a childhood friend. You were about to retort, the words forming on your tongue like old times, until realization hit you.

“So you were following me this whole time!” You accused him, and he had the guts to look unfazed, merely blinking at your words. You’ve expected him to trail after you, as he has always been protective of you since childhood. But somehow it… hurt, like he didn’t trust that you would be fine on your own.  

Not wanting him to pick up on the conflicting feelings within you, just as he always did with one glance at you, you turned away to hide your face from him, and began to make your trip to the store.

“Hmfph fine! I’ll go get them myself, I don’t need you to help me anyway.”

And just as expected, Caleb grabbed your wrist before you could take another step.

“...Are you really going to walk around with a wound like that? You’re going to hurt yourself like that.”

“Didn’t you say I was a grown up? I can take care of myself–”

The odd tension that hung in the air this entire time suddenly snapped, and instinctively you yanked Caleb backward, shielding him from–

-

“Hey! Hey pipsqueak! Help is on the way, don’t fall asleep–” “Dammit– Focus on me–”

-

“She will wake up soon, go and get some rest first.”

“Thank you Zayne.”

Caleb sighed the moment Zayne, or Dr. Zayne now, stepped out of the room. It’s been hours since the blast and while he and you were fortunate enough to have survived the disaster, Grandma… wasn’t. 

He pulled a chair to the side of your bed and sat, observing your sleeping face as he grasped your hand tightly, as if scared you would be out of reach if he were to let go. 

You shielded him from the blast with your own body, thus protecting him from the shockwave and debris that flew out. He remembered cradling you afterwards, trying to keep you conscious to no avail. The emergency response team tried to convince him to get himself checked for injuries while they treated you but he refused, citing that he was fine and he never let you out of his sight until Zayne appeared.

He was forced to get himself looked over after Zayne took her into the emergency ward. And during the medical examination, a question came to the forefront of his mind and stayed there. 

If he had went in as planned, would the little argument he and you had beforehand be the last conversation before he…

And if he did go in… That meant you would be alone. Alone against this world that he was desperately trying to shield you from.

He lowered his head at that thought, bringing your hand to his lips and murmured. 

“You still have me… I will protect you to my dying breath, I swear to it.”

[thegettingbyp2]

Do you think you can make a part 2 to Taking Your Mind Off Her? It's fine if not :)

I'm Only Focused on You

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After the last time you had slept with Jess, after the confirmation that you were only a distraction for him, you thought that it was best if you took a step back from him for a while; you had gotten too close so you decided to save yourself the heartbreak and get out before you got hurt too badly.

You were beginning to drive yourself crazy; you were avoiding any and everywhere where you might bump into Jess, the diner, the bookshop, you were even trying to taking longer ways to school just so you wouldn’t run into him accidentally.

It had been two months since you had last seen Jess and you had pretty much perfected your new routes, almost certain that you didn’t have to worry about seeing him every time you turned a corner. You were on your way home from school when you felt an arm reach out and wrap around your waist, pulling you against a hard chest and hiding the two of you from sight. Looking up, you felt your heart sink when your eyes met Jess’.

‘What the hell is going on?’ Jess spoke lowly as he looked at you and it took everything in your will to slide out of his grasp.

‘I need to go,’ you said quickly, and made to step back out onto the street. You’d barely taken a step before Jess’ arm wrapped around you again, yanking him back into his chest.

‘No, you’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on! (Y/N), it’s been two months and I haven’t seen you at all! What happened? What did I do?’ Jess asked, almost sounding desperate as he gripped onto you, not willing to let you go for a single moment.

‘I’m tired Jess,’ you breathed out, feeling tears pricking at your eyes. ‘I’m tired of constantly being a distraction for you. And I know that we said that we were just going to be a casual thing but I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to do it anymore. I hate the person I’ve become because of it, having to avoid you at all costs just to protect myself! I won’t do it anymore, Jess.’

Jess grip seemed to tighten on you as he gently pulled you even closer into him, until your chests were flush with each others. His hand made its way to your cheek as he thumbed away a tear that you hadn’t realised had fallen. ‘What made you think you were a distraction?’ he murmured softly in your ear.

Your head jolted back up, eyes wide, when you took in what he said. You pulled away from him with a scoff. ‘You really need to ask? Jess, the last time I saw you, you thanked me for distracting you minutes after fucking me! I’m pretty sure that counts as calling someone a distraction.’ Once again, you ripped yourself from Jess’ grasp and this time, you began walking back down the street.

‘Shit! (Y/N), wait!’ Jess yelled as he began to chase you down the street, determined to set everything right. He finally caught up to you as you passed the diner and he somehow managed to wrangle you into the diner, gripping your hand in his and practically dragging you upstairs to his and Luke’s apartment. ‘Listen,’ he said, with his back pressed against the door as he faced you. ‘Just hear me out.’

‘I don’t have anything else to say to you.’

‘That’s why I said hear me out,’ he insisted. Instead of replying, you moved further into the apartment and sat down on the sofa, crossing your arms and legs as you looked at Jess with an eyebrow raised.

Jess let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and walked across to where you were sitting on the sofa, sinking to his knees in front of you and taking both of your hands in his. ‘You’re not a distraction. You’ve never been a distraction and I don’t know why I let you believe that you were. If anything, you were the person I needed distracting from.’

‘Wait, I’m confused,’ you cut in, frowning slightly. ‘What about Rory?’

‘I tried to convince myself that I could be in love with Rory if it meant that I wouldn’t be in love with you.’ The moment the words left his mouth, his eyes widened, instantly regretting what he’d just said. ‘That came out wrong! What I meant was that I was scared that if I admitted to being in love with you, I would lose you and that was something I couldn’t bear. I need you, (Y/N), whatever way you’ll let me have you, I need you.’

The second you looked into his eyes, you knew that he was telling the truth, his hands squeezing yours so tight, you were pretty sure you were losing feeling. Using his grip on your hands to pull yourself closer to him, you leaned down to hover your lips over his.

‘So, I don’t need to help you keep away from Rory?’

Jess breathed out a small chuckle, shaking his head. ‘Baby, the only one I’m focused on, is you.’

[more-mara]

breeding with carcar ? (or Carlandoscar if you're feeling taking up the challenge)

I know this is probably not what you had in mind but I’ve went for a non traditional abo vibe with this, I just couldn’t help myself lol.

CW: Mentions of mpreg, shouldn’t be a shock but I’m giving the warning anyway lmao

The thing about Oscar was that he never felt like an alpha, not really. Part of him thought that maybe something had gone wrong when his mother was pregnant with him and that had resulted in him being given the wrong designation. Because that’s how he felt- wrong.

No alpha should want to submit, to be held down and fucked like an omega. But Oscar did, he craved it, craved to have an alpha knot him, to have them fuck their cum so deep- to claim, to breed. Alphas couldn’t get pregnant, Oscar knew that, of course he did, but it never stopped the fantasy.

Oscar had tried to act like an alpha, to enjoy having sex with omegas who were so wet and desperate for him to knot them but Oscar just couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it. He remembered clearly trying to help Lando with his heat, it had come out of nowhere and Lando had been entirely unprepared for it- Oscar was just in the right place at the right time. He had fucked Lando despite himself, despite imagining what it would like to be Lando, to be the one getting fucked within an inch of his life, begging for a knot that he’d inevitably get just to satisfy his deep seeded want to be claimed, to have an alphas seed fucked into him with the primal urge to breed.

When it was over and Oscar was locked inside Lando, their bodies relaxing into eachother as they came down from their orgasms, Lando had held him while he cried, a shocked little look on the olders poor fucked out face as Oscar admitted how he felt- how he deeply wished he wasn’t an alpha.

Lando had rubbed soothing circles along his back as they waited for Oscar’s knot to go down and Oscar felt like shit afterwards- realising that he was the one who should have been comforting Lando, not the other way around. It was just more confirmation that he was shit at being an alpha, unable to even properly take care of an omega in heat.

But it was Lando who had suggested he speak with Carlos, claiming that he also had ‘singular tastes’. Oscar was unsure about it, not really wanting anyone else to know how he felt, frankly it was embarrassing. But when his rut inevitably hit during the summer break, he found himself texting Carlos who lived only a short walk away from his Monaco apartment.

Carlos had been understanding and explained to Oscar that his feeling were not as strange as he had been led to believe but Oscar wasn’t entirely convinced- not least until Carlos had him bent over the bed, begging for Carlos to fuck him.

“Look at this, an alpha begging for cock, how beautiful,” Carlos said, running a large hand over Oscar’s arched back. Oscar whined, high in his throat as he pushed back against Carlos, desperation overcoming him as he felt the excessive amount of lube beginning to slide down his thighs.

“So wet for me,” Carlos grunted, teasing just the tip inside Oscar’s hole. Oscar flinched forward, a needy groan falling from his lips as Carlos gripped his waist, forcing him to stay still- forcing him to take. Like this, Oscar genuinely felt like an omega, so wet and open and ready to be bred- ready to be claimed by his alpha.

When Carlos fucked into him, hard and merciless, Oscar suddenly felt what it was like to enjoy sex, to actually want to do it. He felt the tears brimming in his eyes before he could stop them, running down his face as Carlos plastered himself to his back, snapping his hips and fucking into the wet heat of his hole. Oscar choked out a moan as his arms buckled beneath him, pushing his ass out further as Carlos continued to pound into him.

“Gonna breed you so good, fill you full of my cum,” Carlos grunted, his hips stuttering as little as his thrusts became more frantic. Fuck, the thought of carrying Carlos’ pups was making his head spin with sudden want, his hole clenching around Carlos, ready to be filled.

“P-please alpha,” Oscar begged, drool pooling from his mouth as Carlos fucked him to his orgasm, his cock spurting cum against the bedsheets- but Carlos didn’t falter, growling into Oscar’s neck as he continued to fuck, to take what he wanted as Oscar lay pliant beneath him- like a good omega.

When Carlos came, his knot swelling inside Oscar’s hole, Oscar had to bite into his hand to prevent crying out. Carlos rubbed his thighs, his stomach, his waist, anywhere he could get his hands on to soothe the other alpha through it.

“You did so well, so good for me, my good little alpha,” Carlos said, nipping his teeth against Oscar’s neck playfully as he bundled him into his arms, cuddling his body close.

For the first time in his life, Oscar didn’t hate that he was an alpha.

[estellesdoll]

◎ 𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 & 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 ݂ ᨸ ˙ 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐬. ˎˊ˗

summary: Chris’s concern for Y/N’s ice skating bruises leads to a loving exchange and a sweet kiss, showing just how much they mean to each other.

pairing: bsf!chris x fem!reader

warnings: fluff

word count: 2.6k

notes: My REQUESTS are open, but please remember to read my guidelines. If you want to remain anonymous, feel free to pick an emoji for yourself!!!! I'm also adding people on my TAGLIST.

TAGLIST | TAKEN ANON EMOJI | PINNED

Chris, Matt, and a few of our friends were all gathered in my living room, the air filled with laughter and the occasional burst of excitement as they played video games on my flat screen.

While they were completely engrossed in the game, I found myself more of an observer than an active participant.

I never really got into video games; they just didn’t hold the same appeal for me as they did for the others. But that only seemed to fuel Chris’s determination.

He loved trying to teach me how to play, insisting that I would get the hang of it if I just gave it a chance.

Time and time again, though, our attempts ended in me fumbling with the controls or misunderstanding the game’s objectives.

It became almost a running joke among us—my complete inability to master any of the games they loved. Yet, Chris never got frustrated.

If anything, my failures only made him more persistent, his enthusiasm never waning as he continued to patiently guide me through each level, always convinced that next time would be different.

"Chris... I just don't get it. What am I doing wrong? I can't even move my character around!" I exclaimed in frustration, my voice edged with exasperation as I stared at the screen, trying to make sense of the controls. My fingers hovered uncertainly over the keys, each one a mystery that I couldn't quite unravel. No matter how many times I tried, the movements of my character in the game seemed to have a mind of their own, completely out of sync with what I was trying to do.

But while video games didn’t catch my interest, I had a passion for something else entirely.

I preferred activities that got me out of the house and moving, connecting with the real world in a tangible way.

Sports, in particular, were what I loved most. Among them, ice skating was where my heart truly lay. There was something almost magical about stepping onto the ice, feeling the cold air on my face as I glided across the rink.

Even though it wasn’t always smooth sailing—many times I’d come home with some pretty harsh bruises from falls—I never let that stop me. Those bruises were just a part of the experience, a small price to pay for the sense of freedom and peace that skating gave me.

Ice skating wasn’t just a hobby; it was my escape. Every time I laced up my skates and stepped onto the ice, it felt like all the stress, worries, and negative thoughts from my day melted away.

For that hour and a half, nothing else mattered. The world outside the rink disappeared, and it was just me, the ice, and the rhythm of my movements. It was a time when I could focus entirely on myself, letting the worries of the real world slip into the background. That sense of calm, the feeling of being completely present in the moment, was something I treasured.

Skating showed me a new path, one where I could let go of everything weighing me down, even if it was just for a little while. It wasn’t just about the physical exercise; it was about finding peace within myself, something I desperately needed.

My friend Elise nudged me gently, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Hey, where’d you go?" she asked, her voice curious as she noticed I had been zoning out.

"I’m just going to head to my bedroom real quick," I replied with a smile. "I’ll be back in a minute. Do you want me to grab some refreshments while I’m at it?"

Elise’s eyes lit up at the suggestion. "Oh gosh, yes! It’s getting really hot in here," she said, fanning herself dramatically to emphasize her point. I chuckled softly, feeling the heat in the room myself.

"I thought I was the only one who noticed," I said, sharing a knowing look with her.As I stood up, I couldn’t help but think about how much I loved the cold, one of the many reasons ice skating was such a passion of mine.

There was something about the cool, crisp air on the rink that I found irresistible. I loved the way it chilled my skin, the way it made everything feel sharp and clear. I wasn’t a fan of the heat; in fact, I could barely stand it. The warmth always made me uncomfortable, almost suffocated.

Even at night, I couldn’t sleep if it was too warm—I’d toss and turn, longing for the coolness that seemed so elusive in the summer months.

As these thoughts danced through my mind, I glanced over at Chris, a soft smile tugging at my lips as I watched him, completely engrossed in his game. He was so captivated, his eyes glued to the screen, fingers deftly moving across the controller.

There was something endearing about how focused he got, how the rest of the world seemed to fade away when he was playing. It was one of those little things I loved about him—the way he could lose himself in something so completely.

I smiled to myself, feeling a quiet warmth in my chest that had nothing to do with the heat in the room. It was just Chris, being Chris.

I made my way to my bedroom, pushing the door behind me, thinking I had closed it fully. The room was a sanctuary, quiet and calm, a stark contrast to the lively energy outside.

Without thinking, I went straight to the closet, my fingers automatically reaching for one of Chris’s hoodies. The soft fabric felt familiar and comforting between my fingers, bringing a sense of ease just by holding it.

I grabbed a pair of leggings too, laying both items neatly on the bed, preparing to change into something more comfortable.As I began to undress, peeling off the clothes I’d been wearing all day, I suddenly winced.

A sharp, unexpected pain flared up as the fabric brushed against certain spots on my skin. The sensation made me suck in a breath, my hand instinctively moving to the sore areas.

It was then that I remembered the bruises, the ones I had stubbornly tried to ignore. Curiosity and concern mixed in my mind, urging me to check how bad they really were.

I stepped over to the mirror, standing in front of it in just my bra and panties. The cool air of the room brushed against my bare skin, contrasting sharply with the tender spots where the bruises had formed.

I looked at my reflection, turning slightly to inspect the damage. My fingers lightly traced over the discolored areas, wincing as I pressed too hard on one particularly dark bruise. The purplish marks stood out starkly against my skin, a painful reminder of the falls and impacts I had endured on the ice.

As I stood there, examining my body, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of frustration mixed with a strange sense of acceptance.

The bruises were just part of the price I paid for doing what I loved, but they still hurt, both physically and emotionally.

I sighed softly, my eyes lingering on the marks for a moment longer before I turned away from the mirror.

୨୧┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈୨୧

CHRIS

"That was awesome! Great game, dude!" I laughed, still high from the match. Matt gave me a congratulatory slap on the back. As the excitement in the room began to die down, I noticed Y/N was missing.

My smile faded as I looked around, realizing she hadn’t come back yet. I turned to the girls on the couch. "Hey, where’s Y/N?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

Elise looked up and smiled. "She went to her room for a bit. She said she’d bring some drinks back."I nodded but felt a bit uneasy.

It wasn’t like Y/N to just disappear without a word. I decided to check on her. "I’m going to see what Y/N’s up to," I said, heading toward her room.

Matt looked over, curious. "Where are you going?""Just checking on Y/N," I said with a quick smile. "She might need some help with the drinks."

As I walked to her room, I felt a growing curiosity about what she was doing. It wasn’t like her to just slip away, and I wanted to see if she was okay. The thought of spending a quiet moment with her made me smile. I approached her door, eager to find out what she was up to.

But as I approached her bedroom door, I noticed it was slightly ajar. I knew that peeking inside without knocking wasn'texactly right, but when I heard her quietly curse under her breath, my curiosity got the better of me.

I carefully moved in front of the door, opening it just a bit more, enough to see inside without revealing myself. Any guilt I felt about sneaking a look vanished the moment I caught sight of her.

She was nearly undressed, standing in front of the mirror, and the way her body flowed into all the right curves left me breathless. She looked absolutely stunning and I couldn't tear my eyes away from her.

But then, as my gaze traveled over her, I noticed something that made my stomach tighten with anger-dark purple bruises marring her skin. I watched as she gently traced her fingertips over them, wincing slightly at the pain.

My heart pounded in my chest, a mix of desire and rising anger swirling inside me. What the hell happened to her? And who could have done this? The sight of those bruises stirred something fierce in me, a protective instinct I couldn't ignore.

I knocked on the door, then quickly stepped back, putting some distance between myself and the doorway.

"One moment!" she called out, her voice slightly breathless. I could hear the faint sound of clothes rustling inside the room, and after what felt like a long minute, the door finally opened.

She reappeared in front of me, a little out of breath, her cheeks flushed.

"Hi, Chris. Do you need anything?" she asked, her voice carrying a hint of surprise, as if she hadn’t expected to see me.

"Nothing, really," I replied, trying to sound casual. "I was just wondering where you went."

୨୧┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈୨୧

Y/N

As the night grew late, people began to say their goodbyes and head out. I walked them to the door, exchanging hugs and thanking them for coming.

When the last of our friends had left, I turned to Matt and Chris with a smile.

"Would you guys like to stay over? I can get the guest room ready for you," I offered, already thinking about the bedding and pillows I’d need to set up.

Matt quickly shook his head. "Oh, we don’t want to be a bother," he said, sounding a little hesitant.

"Nonsense!" I replied with a wave of my hand. "You’re not bothering me at all. I’ll have it ready in just a few minutes."

Chris caught my eye, a bright excitement lighting up his expression. "Sleepover!" he shouted, his voice full of enthusiasm as he nodded eagerly.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of fun and laughter. We ended up watching a couple of episodes of a show and squeezed in some more gaming before we all started to wind down.

When it was finally time to call it a night, I showed them to the guest room, handing them spare toothbrushes and towels. After making sure they had everything they needed, I headed to my own room, feeling the exhaustion of the day catch up with me.

I took a quick shower, letting the warm water relax my muscles, before slipping into bed, ready to let sleep take over.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, there was a soft knock on my door—the second one today. I cleared my throat, my voice still a little raspy as I called out, "Yeah, come in."

Chris slipped into the room, closing the door gently behind him. He looked a bit nervous, which made me sit up a little.

"Hi, Chrissy. How’s my favorite boy doing?" I asked with a tired smile. He chuckled softly and moved closer, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I’m good. Matt’s already passed out," he said with a grin, but his expression quickly turned more serious. "But, Y/N... are you really okay?" I frowned a bit, confused by the concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I’m fine. Why? Are you alright? Having trouble sleeping?"

"It’s not that," he replied, hesitating. "I’m just... really worried about you, but I didn’t know how to say it without sounding weird."

"Chris, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?" I said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. He looked at me, clearly struggling to find the right words, but finally took a deep breath. "When you went to change earlier... your door was open a bit, and I... I saw you."

I felt a warm blush creep up my cheeks as I processed what he was saying. I wasn’t sure how to respond, and the silence hung between us until he continued.

"And I saw the bruises, Y/N. Those really bad ones," he added, his voice filled with concern. I groaned, embarrassed, and quickly covered my face with my hands.

"Hey, don’t hide from me," he said gently, pulling my hands away. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You look incredible. I just... I’m worried. What happened? How did you get those bruises?" Chris kicked off his shoes and moved closer on the bed, his expression softening as he waited for my answer.

I met his eyes, knowing I couldn’t just brush him off. "It’s from ice skating," I admitted, feeling a bit awkward. "I was trying out some new moves, and... well, this happened."

He looked at me, surprised. "But I thought you quit skating last year?" I sighed.

"I didn’t really quit. I just... didn’t tell anyone. It’s the only thing that makes me really happy right now."

He looked a little hurt at that, his brow furrowing. "The only thing? What about me?" he asked, sounding a bit vulnerable.

I leaned in and kissed his cheek, trying to reassure him. "You make me happy too, Chris. After you, skating’s the next best thing." He smiled, his tension easing.

Gently, he pulled me onto his lap, his hands finding the sore spots on my body and massaging them carefully. I let out a soft moan of relief as his fingers worked their magic. He leaned in, pressing tender kisses to my neck. "It just kills me to see you hurt. Please, be careful, okay? You don’t deserve this."

"Chris, I’m doing my best," I replied, my voice soft. "But falling is just part of skating. It’s how you get better."

He sighed, his voice full of affection. "Sweet girl, I just wish I could be there with you. I’d catch you every time, so you’d never have to hit the ice."

His words felt so genuine that I couldn’t help but lean in and kiss him. As our lips touched, I got lost in the moment, letting everything else fade away until it was just the two of us in that tender, perfect kiss.

[sturniololoco]

can you please do a younger sister fic where reader is in videos and gets a lot of hate comments?

Hate

Sturniolo Little Sister (SLS) x The Sturniolo Triplets

Warnings: Hate, body shaming, eating disorder, crying, etc.

SLS/N’s POV

“Oh my gosh Chris! Stop! That’s so gross!” I yelled at my brother as he burped in my face.

He laughed in return, trying to shield himself from my solid punch in the arm.

“Alright guys! That has been today’s video, I hope you all enjoys having our special guest in our video today-“ Nick started to say, giving the video it’s usual outro.

I waved to the camera before turning back to Chris and continued beating him up. Matt laughed and joined in while Nick finished talking to the camera.

-

laying in the darkness of my room at 1:30 in the morning, I opens my lap top and went to my brothers YouTube channel.

The video from earlier already had 500k views. Getting happy, I scrolled through the comment section to see what people thought of the video.

Omg yay!

Ew why’d they bring her??

Oh my lord Matt and Chris are so hooooot!!!

wow what a fatty

worst special guest ever

boring next

3467 more ⬇️

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I slammed my lap top shut.

I scrambled to the bathroom, trying to forget the feeling of sadness and dread pool in my stomach.

But I was instantly reminded when I made eye contact with myself in the bathroom mirror.

Wow you really are huge, I thought as I turned to my side, examining myself.

I quickly ran to my bed, desperately trying to fall asleep and get the thoughts out of my head.

-

“Woah, you look rough.” Chris said as I walked into the living room, sitting in the couch and pulling out my phones.

I rolled my eyes at him and shrugged, trying to hide my face behind my hair.

“Hey, sis. I made you a bagel.” Nick said, walking into the living room, sitting next to me, and handing me a paper plate.

I took it and mumbled my thanks to him. My brothers dug into their breakfast, but I just looked at mine, not being able to bring myself to eat it.

Do you know how many calories is in cream cheese?!?

-

“Hey, you okay?” Matt asked me, seeing how I had only taken about 2 and a half bite of my bagel.

“What- oh yeah…I’m good.” I say, nodding my head, trying to sound convincing. He gives me a suspicious look but I quickly play it off.

“I’m not very hungry today, I had snuck early this morning before I went back to sleep.” I lied. Matt looked reassured though.

I only had to keep this up till I was skinny and perfect, shouldn’t be that hard.

The only problem would be keeping this from my brothers.

-

it been a week.

A very, very long week.

Keeping this secret from my brothers just kept getting harder and harder, but I was learning.

“SLS/N! Dinners ready!” Nick yelled up the stairs.

“I need to finish up my project, I’ll be down in a second!” I yelled back. It was a complete lie, I finished the project three days ago.

This excuse would usually work, and he’d save my dinner on a plate. I’d then take it up to my room, and throw it away.

I sat on my bed, computer out, acting like I was doing work.

-

“I need to go switch the laundry, I’ll be right back okay.” Matt said as I started to unpack my dinner about an hour later. I nodded and he went into the laundry room.

I had to be quick.

I chucked my plate up side down into the trash, then covered it with wet paper towels so Chris wouldn’t get suspicious when he took the trash out.

I heard Matt begin to walk upstairs, so this gave me even more time to finish the dishes and clean the kitchen.

-

“SLS/N! Come up here please!” I hear Matt call.

he didn’t sound happy thought. I quickly rush up the stairs and walk to my room.

I open my door to see Matt standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, a disappointed look on his face. Chris was sitting on my bed, leaning forward with his head in his hands. Nick was holding my trash can in his hands, looking at me with a scared look in his eyes.

I felt dread pool in the bottom of my stomach.

“SLS/N? When’s the last time you ate?” Matt asked slowly.

he looked up at me and I could see tears in the brims of his eyes.

Then I broke.

“I-I can’t do I-i’t!” I said, crumpling onto the floor in sobs.

Matt rushed to my side, kneeling in front of me. “Shh, it’s okay I’m right here.” He says, whispering sweet word in my ears as I calm down.

“SLS/N…What happened?” Chris asked when my breathing had gone back to normal.

I told them all about the hate comments on the video, how they made me feel, and how they hurt me.

“I just hate the way it made me feel. So I thought that I change, it would be easier.” I rambled, tears still flowing out of my eyes.

“SLS/N, starving yourself is not easier, I promise. You’re not perfect, nobody is, so we can’t always have least everyone. Next time we need you to talk to us.” Nick said, coming over to join us, sitting on the floor.

I nodded my head, my lip quivering, afraid if I said a word, the sobs would come back.

Chris came over, wrapping his arms around us all in a great hug.

“We’re always here for you sis, no matter what.” Chris whispered.

omg I’m so sorry if this was shitty. I think I wrote it 30 mins 😭 I promise better content will be coming starting Wednesday.

@idkwhosnyla @babypat08 @eyelessdemon00 @christopherowensturniolo @sturnsxx @freshloveforthefit @matty443355 @sleepysturnss @emeraldgreenbeautiesstu @sunsetsturniolos @hoesturniolo @x4nd3rsukz @chr1sgirl4life @sstvrnioloo @sturns-posts @chrisstopherfilmed @kylasrealityx @zoeysturnioloooooo @comet235 @islaasblog @sturnioloblogs @defnotayonna @mattsleftnipple03 @thematthewlover @mattsaq

[wrathofrats]

That posts just got me thinking about Swiss going into heat with Phantom in his bed. They're still new to the sexual side to their relationship but Phantom would do anything to help the pathetic whining ghoul next to him, even if it means trying out a lot of new kinks he's never even thought about

I got carried away as usual are we surprised.

Sorry this took like … 6 months HAHAH

Forgive My Reasons And What I Can’t Disguise.

Swiss/phantom, 2k, explicit

Read below or on ao3!

Warnings for: dubious consent, dollification, objectification, heat, knotting, sensory deprivation, i made it fucking weird as usual.

Or swiss goes into heat, phantom gets himself in more hot water than he can probably handle.

Phantoms shirt was soaked. The body underneath him radiating heat he only thought possible by a fire ghoul.

Swiss still hadn’t woken up, his skin was shiny with his own sweat, likely the cause for the dark splotches on phantoms shirt. His breathing was heavier than usual, the up and down motion of his chest likely the cause of phantom waking up at an hour he is sure is supposed to be illegal. Oh, and the heat. The waves of heat that are almost suffocating.

“Swiss, swiss” phantom grabbed his shoulders and shook. Swiss was never one to wake up easily, he was sure that they could downright bomb the building and swiss would be none the wiser. It was useless, and considering the state he’s in phantom doesn’t know if he truly has time to mess around with trying to wake him gently.

Could he be sick? Did they catch some human illness at mass? The siblings were cesspools of diseases unknown to the ghouls, they would come in to the infirmary constantly with things that truly sounded demonic in nature. Bronchitis, gonorrhea, hell he’s surprised they didn’t just start naming the common cold asmodeus.

That wasn’t the point though. Phantoms finger sparked with a small purple bolt of electricity before placing it against Swiss’ temple. An old quintessence trick, nothing to hurt whoever it was, but it was enough to jump them out of their sleep.

Swiss shook, eyes flying open while his breathing only got heavier, he gave phantom a confused look before taking in the state they were both in. Phantoms shirt clinging to him with sweat and swiss practically dripping with his own. He felt a sharp tug in his stomach, before throwing his arm over his face with a groan.

“Are you ok? Are you sick? I can call aeth-“

“I’m in heat bug” swiss sighed. “Thought I had more time but clearly I was very wrong, otherwise I would’ve locked myself in mountains room for the night”

The pit of worry in phantoms chest melted into a feeling of arousal, something needy. He’d never been able to help another ghoul with their heat, only really knowing that it’s happening when he asks where someone is just to hear banging on the walls and growling from another ghouls room. Locked away to do who knows what in order to quell the animalistic need.

Swiss started to get up, throwing the suffocating blankets to the side in order to stand in the middle of the room instead of in the bed, which seemed to only make the warmth worse.

“Sorry about this phantom, I’m going to head to dews room and see if I can get it to go away anytime soon” swiss threw on a shirt that was laying on the floor, shaking out his locs and throwing them up into a loose bun in an attempt to cool down his face and neck.

“Wait” phantom scrambled out of bed “you don’t have to go, I can help you”

“Bug it’s a lot more intense than you’re thinking, it’s hard to control myself, I don’t want to hurt you or scare you off” swiss was practically panting by now, his sweatpants tented obscenely and were slung low around his hips. His hands clenched at his sides, he was getting desperate, about to snap if he couldn’t fuck out his heat as soon as possible.

“Please scare me, show me how to handle your heat, use me” phantom nearly begged. Swiss didn’t need much convincing, his heat already clouding his judgment. On any other day he would’ve taken it slow, explained to phantom exactly what was going to happen. But in a state like this? After phantom told him to scare him? It’s hard to keep a calm demeanor.

Swiss just nods, not trusting himself to actually speak without biting. He backs phantom up against the bed, phantoms legs spreading for swiss to stand in between. He grabs his hips, simply staring at his thighs with small, tight boxers being the only thing covering him. He looked small in Swiss’ grip. There was a pause in their movements while swiss tried to maintain composure. With dew he could easily bend the little thing over and take as he pleased, but with phantom? Part of him still worries. New and not used to how hard some of the others play.

But his need only grows. The fire in him only getting worse as he tries to stave it off.

“Tell me again. Tell me that you want this again. Tell me to scare you phantom” swiss practically growls.

“Break me swiss, I’m yours to use”

Swiss pushes against him hard, forcing him up the bed to lay on the pillows. He doesn’t waste any time pulling the clothes off of him, ridding him of his still wet shirt and boxers, watching as his cock rapidly thickens as swiss strips him.

His hand immediately grabbed at his neck, forcing his head back. He can feel Swiss’s breath on his skin. It feels predatory, the heavy breathing and sharp teeth so close to his jugular that a part of him truly is afraid, especially after swiss warned him he couldn’t control himself.

“Don’t think you know what you’ve done bug” swiss chuckled lowly into phantoms ear. “Won’t be able to stop myself from fucking ruining you now, gonna just turn you into a sex doll”

Phantom whimpered, pulling his head further to the side to expose the skin more, invite swiss to take what he needs. As his eyes close he felt the ghoul on top of him shift, rummaging through his bedside drawer.

Before he can open his eyes they’re covered with a soft black cloth, completely shielding his vision.

“Uh, swiss?” Phantoms voice shook. It was a weird feeling, he was used to being in tune with everything at all times. Quintessence making him sensitive to any change in the air. But without his vision? It feels weird, he knows he can’t be in control but this is a different level of loss that makes him actually fearful.

“Said your mine to use right? Don’t need to see anything. Just gotta stay still”

“Yeah I- if that’s what you want” swiss didn’t want to admit how much the fear in phantoms voice turned him on, a horrible part of him relishing in the control and power he feels from it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you relax doll”

A spark of quintessence jolted through phantoms nerves. He quickly realized he could no longer move, couldn’t shake his head, couldn’t lift a finger, couldn’t even speak. could only lay still and wait.

There was a small nudge in his brain, another bit of quintessence used to communicate. Quints were known to be able to talk to each other with their magic, and although swiss had a much weaker grasp, there was still the necessary sense of safety knowing if he needed to safe word he easily could, and he knew those were Swiss’ intentions.

He trusted him. Phantom just kept having to repeat that he trusted him. The hands on his body felt tenfold what the usually do without being able to see them. His cock kicked on his stomach, a small bit of liquid dribbling onto his stomach. It was almost embarrassing how hard he was given the circumstances, he should be afraid, he shouldn’t be into this, but he’s so hard it almost hurts. Swiss still wasn’t moving, and phantom realized that being able to take away phantoms ability to see and move was arousing enough to keep swiss under control of himself, even if just for a bit. He was getting off to phantom being a doll.

“Could just keep you like forever bug, let everyone use you to fuck out their heats, do whatever depraved things I know they’ve been dying to do to you. And you’d just let them wouldn’t you?” Phantom couldn’t nod, couldn’t protest, couldn’t respond. “That’s a good doll. Knew you wanted it.” Swiss laughed at the lack of response.

Two fingers prodded at phantoms hole. They were slightly slick, likely hastily licked by swiss in order to provide just a little glide. The intrusion still burned, thick and hasty, barely even for phantom comfort, more just so swiss knows he will fit.

“Sweet little thing. You almost feel real” swiss added another finger, spreading them wide to watch as phantoms hole stretched around them.

Phantoms skin felt like it was static, like he truly may be made of plastic. The fingers in him not even trying to give him any pleasure, more just an uncomfortable intrusion than swiss trying to get him off as well.

But phantom wasn’t supposed to get off. He was a toy. Silicone and nothing more according to swiss.

He could hear the rustling of clothing, a sign Swiss was actually about to fucking him properly. The smell of need from the both invaded his senses, made his already fuzzy head even more dizzy with the need to be used.

It hurt. Swiss was too big and it hurt. He barely fit, slowing sinking into him and only waiting for it to stop being borderline uncomfortably tight.

“You’d think you’d have more give, good thing I don’t have to worry about hurting you do I?” The talking felt like swiss was mocking him. Solidifying the fact that he couldn’t do anything like this.

After a minute or two swiss pulled out slowly, before slamming back into him. “Forgot I just gotta force you to stretch out. Silly me”

Phantom truly felt like a rag doll, the only sense of stability being where swiss held his hips in place. The rest of his body simply moved as swiss pleased, shaking with the force of his thrusts instead of being able to grab something to keep him on solid ground.

Once he adjusted the burning feeling melted into pleasure, Swiss rammed into his prostate, holding his hips up against him to get as deep as he possibly could. It felt amazing, the lack of sight and movement only heightening the simulation.

He wanted to beg, sob even. Needed swiss to touch him properly. He felt so close to the edge without even the relief of knowing he will finally get off because he truly doesn’t know what swiss is going to do to him.

There was swelling at the base of Swiss’ cock as it continued to pound into him. He was going to knot him, phantom should’ve known that this is how you break a heat but it still scared him. He couldn’t see how big it was, could only hope it was at least relatively painless.

“Gonna get you stuck on me, tear you open so no one else will fit. Make you fucking mine” swiss gave a final thrust before it finally popped into him with a sickening squelch. It didn’t hurt but god he felt overwhelmingly full, like he was going to fucking bust open if swiss moved at all.

He heard panting above him, Swiss’ hands soothing up and down his hips.

The blindfold was delicately removed, and swiss slowly used his magic to bring phantom back to.

“Fuck you’re so good to me bug, are you alright?” He breathed

“Yeah, m fine” phantoms brain felt like soup, like it could leak out of his ears.

“I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No, I liked it, like that I made a good toy for you” phantom gave swiss a sleepy smile. He was worn out, the given control back making him realized how sore his muscles are.

“Can I finish you off baby bat? Let me make you feel good?” Phantom just nodded. He squirmed under Swiss’ hand on his cock, sensitive and overwhelming after being used. His fist took up most of it, cute and sticky, flushed a deep red. It didn’t take much, just a couple strokes before phantom came along his torso with a pained whimper.

“There you go baby, my sweet lovebug”

[shitsndgiggs]

a kenan fanfic in where he is rumoured to be dating another model which leads to yn, becoming insecure and believing that he is cheating on her because she went abroad to study for a few months. maybe like she blocks him or something and he flies out to her?

DO BETTER - KENAN YILDIZ

In which you think that he is cheating

Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

The news hit me like a punch to the gut. Sitting in my tiny dorm room, thousands of miles away from home, I stared at my phone screen, unable to process what I was seeing.

Pictures of Kenan with another model were plastered all over social media, accompanied by headlines suggesting that they were dating.

My heart sank, and insecurity gnawed at my insides. Was it true? Was Kenan cheating on me while I was abroad studying?

I tried calling him, needing to hear his voice, but he didn’t answer.

Each missed call only fueled my fears. In a moment of frustration and heartbreak, I blocked his number, cutting off any means of communication between us.

The following days were a blur. I threw myself into my studies, trying to ignore the pang of jealousy and sadness that tightened my chest every time I thought of Kenan.

But the rumors and photos kept surfacing, making it impossible to focus.

The feeling of betrayal grew, and I started to believe that our relationship was over.

He hadn't even bothered to explain or reassure me. Maybe he didn't care anymore.

A week passed, then another. Each day without hearing from Kenan solidified my belief that he had moved on.

I tried to convince myself to do the same, but my heart wouldn’t let go. My friends noticed my distress, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them the truth.

It was too painful to admit that the man I loved might have betrayed me.

Three weeks later, I was sitting in my dorm room, attempting to study, when there was a knock at the door.

Sighing, I pushed my books aside and went to answer it. My heart stopped when I saw Kenan standing there, looking exhausted and worried.

“Kenan?” I gasped, unable to believe my eyes.

“Y/N, please, can we talk?” he pleaded, his eyes searching mine.

I stepped back, letting him in. He closed the door behind him and immediately took my hands in his. “I flew here as soon as I could. Those rumors, those photos—they’re all lies. I would never cheat on you.”

“Then why were you with her?” I demanded, my voice trembling with hurt and anger.

Kenan sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. “It was a charity event. She was just a date for the evening, nothing more. The media twisted it into something it wasn’t.”

I pulled my hands from his grasp, pacing the small room. “It’s hard to believe you when I’m so far away and all I see are those pictures.”

“I know,” he said softly, his voice full of regret. “I should have been more transparent with you. I should have called and explained everything.”

“But you didn’t,” I shot back, tears welling up in my eyes. “You left me to find out through gossip and headlines.”

Kenan stepped closer, gently tilting my chin up so I had to look at him. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I was trying to protect you from the stress and drama, but I ended up hurting you instead. Please, believe me when I say that you are the only one for me. I love you.”

I searched his eyes, finding the sincerity and desperation there. My anger began to dissolve, replaced by the overwhelming relief that he was here, that he cared enough to fly halfway around the world to see me.

“I’m sorry too,” I whispered. “I should have given you a chance to explain before shutting you out.”

Kenan pulled me into a tight embrace, kissing the top of my head. “We both made mistakes. Let’s not let this come between us. You mean everything to me, Y/N.”

We stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the distance and doubt melting away.

Over the next few days, Kenan and I spent every moment we could together, rebuilding the trust that had been shaken. He took me out to dinner, where we talked and laughed for hours.

We walked through the city, exploring little shops, holding hands and stealing kisses.

One evening, as we lay in bed, Kenan turned to me, his expression serious. “I know I’ve been busy with football and it’s been hard being apart, but I promise to do better. I’ll make sure you never doubt my love for you again.”

I smiled, feeling the warmth of his words. “I believe you, Kenan. And I’ll work on trusting you more. We’ll get through this, together.”

[in-a-daddy-state-of-mind]

Getting Up Next To You

Pairing: Steven Grant x f!reader (background Jake Lockley x f!reader)

Summary: Steven keeps waking up next to you after you and Jake hook up

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Mentions of smut, social anxiety, some angst, general self-hatred, let me know if there is anything else I missed. MINORS DNI

Notes: I just love the idea of Steven being an awkward little bean after waking up next to you. Also the idea of him slowly falling in love and you two being little anxious messes. I’m just obsessed with him and I think he could make me like myself more. As always interactions with the post are appreciated as well as feedback!

The first time you met Steven Grant was when he woke up next to you unaware that you would be there. To say he was surprised was an understatement. Waking up next to beautiful women he didn’t remember was not a common occurrence in his life.

Steven almost fell out of the bed when he turned to find you peacefully sleeping next to him. You quickly proceeded to try and calm him down or at least convince him you weren’t an intruder.

“Jake told me this might happen. Are you Marc or Steven?” You quickly questioned trying to deescalate.

It took a second for Steven to process your words. Jake told you? Christ, what had his life become since the third alter joined them.

“Steven. Wait a minute, you know Jake?” He questioned back still confused.

“Yes, we slept together last night. That’s why I’m here.” You answered seeming way too calm for someone that woke up next to a different person sharing the body of your one night stand.

Of course Jake would do something like this. Bring someone into their house and then not even have the common decency to see them out. Steven couldn’t understand how he shared a body with someone so different from himself sometimes.

“I was kind of… spent last night. Couldn’t really walk home afterwards. I’m so sorry I’m bothering you now.” You apologized clinging the bedsheets to your chest.

Oh god that meant you were naked under the sheets. Steven desperately tried to wave that thought away.

“Alright, that is probably more information than I needed to hear. And you’re fine.” Steven said moving away from the bed.

“Thanks.”

An awkward silence fell over the two of you. Neither sure what to do in this situation.

“Do you want to have some breakfast? I make some mean scrambled eggs.” You offered moving away from the bed still clinging to the sheets.

Steven was in a dilemma. He wasn’t sure what the etiquette was here or if Jake would be mad if he accepted. By the situation you two were in, it was clear his alter wasn’t looking for a lasting relationship. Yet, you seemed so kind and there was so much hope in your offer. Damn Jake, he was the one that put Steven in this situation and he would have to deal with the consequences.

“Breakfast sounds lovely. What’s your name by the way?”

You introduced yourself offering your hand for Steven to shake. You were unreasonably cute. Part of Steven wished he was the one that had met you first.

Steven gave you your clothes and moved to the kitchen busying himself while you changed. He was so different from the person you met last night it almost gave you whiplash. You obviously had liked Jake, otherwise you wouldn’t have gone home with him. Yet where Jake was all sharp edges and hungry looks, Steven was smooth and soft. The fact that he didn’t even try to sneak a look at your naked form really solidified you were dealing with someone different.

Once you were fully clothed, you made the breakfast you promised: scrambled eggs, toast and coffee. You and Steven ate together making conversation. You asked him lots of questions and seemed genuinely interested in his answers. What was his favorite breakfast food, how long has he lived in London, did he prefer breakfast or dinner. Being socially anxious this was your strategy for when you met new people. Just ask them as many questions as you could, start from what you are doing now and try to trace it back all the way to their family roots. This way conversation would happen and you didn’t have to panic about being in silence and them hating your presence.

Steven was surprisingly disappointed when the meal ended. He wanted to keep talking to you. In the short amount of time you spent together he had rather enjoyed your company. Nobody was usually interested in spending time with him, and yet here you were. A complete stranger that had managed to learn more about him over the span of a meal than most of the people he had been working with for years.

“I’m off then. It was lovely to meet you, Steven.” You said after you helped him put all the dishes in the sink.

“It was lovely to meet you too. I hope we’ll get to see each other again.”

“I wouldn’t count on it. But I hope so too.”

The smile you gave him made his heart melt. Gosh, he would have to beg Jake to make this not a one night stand.

Steven had berated Jake with questions after that morning. He wanted to know all he could about you and yet he was met with the answer of “you were just some girl he met at a bar”.

It’s not like Jake didn’t like you. He most certainly did. You were hot, the sex was amazing, and he actually enjoyed talking to you at the bar. But Jake was not in the business of collecting repeated trading cards. He was not looking for a relationship and was very secure in his choices which just made Steven more displeased that really it was unlikely he would meet you again.

That was of course until he once more woke up next to you and this time actually fell out of the bed in surprise.

“Steven, calm down! It’s just me!” You shouted trying to calm your own rapid heartbeat from the shock of being woken up like that.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“You reacted the same way you did last time. Also you have a British accent. Jake told me the other one doesn’t.”

“Jake told you?” Steven questioned uncertain as to why his alter would just offer you information like this. “Yeah, I asked him about you.” You said nonchalantly.

Steven could almost hear his heart stop. Fuck, you asked about him. He tried to not get his hopes up but the very fact you wanted to know more about him had to mean that you also thought about him after. Right?

“I have been dreaming about those scrambled eggs.” He said with a smile.

And about her. You won’t shut up about it. Steven ignored Jake’s voice in his head.

“I’ll gladly make them again for you!”

With that you two did the same as last time with Steven moving to the kitchen to grab ingredients while you put your clothes back on. This time, however, it felt comfortable. Familiar. You didn’t feel stressed around Steven despite the fact you had only met him once and the fact that the voices in your head weren’t screaming that this was awkward and you needed to leave as they usually did was something you didn’t know what to do with.

Truth be told, you had secretly hoped Steven would be the one you woke up next to before you fell asleep the night prior. When you saw Jake from across the bar the previous night you wanted to sink into your seat. The two of them hadn’t left your mind since the last time but as usual it would take way too much courage you didn’t have to actually go speak to him. And he clearly had meant for it to be a one-time thing, you could get the context clues for that. So you can imagine your shock when Jake approached you again, just as flirtatious as last time. One thing led to another and you were once again here with Steven eating eggs.

This time around you asked him if he minded you turning on the TV while you two ate. So you sat next to him watching a re-run of Doctor Who while you still asked questions. This time the questions were all related to his interests and you were perhaps the first person Steven met that didn’t seem to immediately check out when he went on a rant about how Gods of Egypt had gotten it all wrong. Steven was in trouble and he knew it.

Once more, the meal seemed to end way too quickly and before Steven knew it you were taking the dishes to the sink and picking up your bag.

“Wait, don’t you at least want to see the end of the episode? I mean I would be devastated if you didn’t know what happened about those blasted Weeping Angels.” Steven offered.

Truth was you had seen Blink more times than you could count but you still accepted Steven’s offer. There was so much hope in his eyes you just couldn’t say no. You both sat on the couch and continued watching the episode making comments about your thoughts on it. You ended up watching the episode they aired after it too and it was afternoon by the time you finally left.

Steven really hoped Jake would choose to bring you home again.

Before Steven saw you next he argued with Jake endlessly. He lost count of how much time he spent in front of the mirror just grilling Jake on why he wouldn’t invite you on a proper date. He clearly liked you and it was the least you deserved. If Steven couldn’t be in a relationship with you, he at least would like for someone in the system to do it. Yet, as always Jake would give the same answer: he was not interested in a relationship. True, he had slept with you twice. And brought you to the actual apartment versus your own house or the cab. All steps he hadn’t taken with anyone really but that was it. He wouldn’t cross anymore boundaries with you and a date would definitely cross many.

And then, after weeks of arguing, Steven woke up next to you again. Except this time he wasn’t frightened. He didn’t scream or fall out of the bed, he just laid there looking at you and trying to figure out how he could not disturb your sleep and yet still get to spend the day with you. After what felt like years but was probably a couple of minutes your eyes opened and focused on Steven’s. The moment they did you opened an enchanting smile.

“We really gotta stop meeting like this, Steven.” You joked.

“I rather like the sight of you first thing in the morning.” Steven said making your cheeks turn red.

He really hoped that wasn’t too straight forward but it was like these feeling inside of him refused to be contained. He was had it bad for you. Really bad.

“So breakfast?” You simply said already sitting up and looking around for your clothes.

“Actually I was planning to go to the museum today. A new exhibition on modern art just opened and I was going to go today anyway so maybe you could join me? We could get breakfast at the coffee shop there.”

Steven’s voice almost broke at the end. He was so nervous but he just couldn’t bear to think you would leave so early again.

“Don’t you work at the museum?” You questioned.

“Yes, but my boss Donna can be real nasty. She would never let me actually see the exhibition during work hours.” Steven explained.

“Sure then! I would love to!”

Steven almost couldn’t believe the word coming out of your mouth. How could he be so damn lucky?

You two went to the museum and Steven couldn’t have dreamed of something better. You had a genuine discussion about what art was and what your favorite painter were. You ended up seeing the new exhibition but also just walking around the entire museum. You stayed at least an hour in the Egyptian exhibit as Steven told you every detail about every piece and the history behind it.

Steven was enchanting. Gosh, when he went on his rants his eyes lit up and the perpetual dark bags under his eyes seemed to disappear. He was always beautiful but in the museum he absolutely glowed.

When he got too excited about showing you different things he grabbed you by the hand and dragged you from one piece to another. The contact was so small and innocent compared to the ones you’ve had with this same body in the past but it still made you blush. Fuck, you were whipped. You liked Steven. Not only Jake but now you truly couldn’t deny that you were crushing bad on Steven.

By the time you were finished with the museum it was late afternoon. Steven couldn’t remember a day he had enjoyed more. You both had decided to get food at a vegan restaurant close to the museum he loved. The meal was going lovely as always but one thing was in his mind and he just couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Why do you still sleep with Jake?” Steven blurted out almost involuntarily.

“What?”

“You clearly deserve better! You don’t deserve to be with a bloody wanker that will sleep with you and then not even have the decency to wake up next to you!”

To say you had not expected this was an understatement. You stuttered not really sure how to respond.

“Do I deserve better?” You asked letting your insecurity come through.

“Yes! You deserve the world.”

“It really doesn’t feel like that sometimes.” You confessed.

Steven quickly moved from his position on the other side of the booth you were sitting in to get closer to you. He placed his hand on your cheek making you look him in the eye.

“Oh, love. You do. You’re brilliant and you deserve someone who will make you feel like it. You deserve someone who will worship you.” Steven said softly.

“Someone like you?” A boldness took over you and forced you to say it.

You immediately regretted it and was about to apologize when Steven cut you off.

“If you’d have me.”

Instead of replying, you closed the distance between the two of you and kissed Steven. First the kiss was soft, temptation but as soon as he responded it quickly become hungry. Steven had been waiting for this moment for more than a month now and it felt fantastic. It was all he wanted and dreamed it would be.

The next time Steven woke up next to you was different. He wasn’t on the other side of the bed as usual. Instead he was pressed against your back, feeling your warmth as he snuggled closer to you.

He was the one that got to fall asleep next to you the previous night after he was the one to finally ravish your body. Hearing you scream his name as he plunged into you was enchanting and he understood why Jake kept coming back to you.

And now here he was. Getting to look at you in the morning knowing exactly how you both ended up in that position.

You stirred in your sleep and turned to look at him. You opened that same sweet smile that melted his heart.

“Good morning, Steven.”

“Good morning, love.”

[infernalodie]

𝐄𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 || 𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐎𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐚

“𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘯', 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯' 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘢𝘱 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥“

Inspo: Hozier - Eat Your Young

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Black!Fem!reader

Summary: Her body was a sanctum you couldn’t get enough of...

Warning: Smut, thigh riding, body worship, and some fluff.

Words: 1257

DNI IF YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN 18!

There was a certain level of obsession when it came to Jenna’s body—coming in waves of lustful thoughts that you managed to keep at bay whenever she was gone for filming. Leaving you stuck at home to look at the old videos you had taken of her. All of them focused on her body. Naked, wet, and flush from your love bites and nails that had been dragged across her skin. Each of them had a poetic essence to them that sent a flood of desire and need through your bones. Needing to feel her soft skin in your hands. Her figure morphing into whatever you wished.

But these were just desperate thoughts to fill in the decaying hours of days when she wasn’t near. The difference now was her warm aura invading your sense. Blinding you from the setting.

“Y/n.” You blinked, gaze lifting from your wine and toward the girl sitting on the opposite side. Her eyes were bright with curiosity and her lips curved in a small smile. “What’s going on in there?”

You slightly fell further into your wooden chair. Tongue peeking out to wet your dry lips. Gaze flickering around the luxurious restaurant Jenna had decided to pull you out too. It was for some sort of date since she’s been gone for 3 months and hadn’t been able to call that much.

It was just an obstacle.

Finally, your eyes met hers and your head cocked slightly to the left. Orbs ran up and down the beautiful black dress, she wore tonight. Lingering a moment longer on her breasts and neck before you finally returned her gaze. “I’m trying really hard to not toss this table to the side.”

The eagerness sent a chill down Jenna’s body that she attempted to keep obscured from her sip of wine. Hoping the expensive liquor wouldn’t show easily your words were so convincing. Or that the lighting was in her favour and not revealing the warmth that invaded her cheeks. Yet, her lips were still curved as she glanced up at you and asked, “Why are you waiting?” Then she tilted her head, unable to contain the brattiness that had built over the time of separation. “It’s okay if you’re scared of sex while I was gone. It happens to the worst people.”

The sassy attitude and overall comment made your lips twitch. Unable to contain the faint smile that formed as you placed your napkin down and stood to your feet. “God, I missed you, darling.”

Jenna’s eyes followed each of your movements. Her lips were hidden behind the brim of her glass that blocked the grin that was slowly building on her face. And when you made your way around the table, leaning down with one hand resting on the back of her chair and the other firmly on the table, she finally pulled away from the intoxicating beverage. Meeting your gaze that was hollowed out of its joy and replaced with that indescribable lust.

“Since you left, I have been starving,” you muttered softly. Each breath of each word fanning her face which only intensified the flush. “All I could do is look at those videos and pray you would be home sooner than later.” Reaching one hand up, you tucked a few strands of her hair out of her face and behind her ear. Displaying the edge of her jaw. “And now, having you home, I think I can finally have the world for myself.”

And something in the way you spoke. How the words rolled perfectly off your tongue. Jenna couldn’t resist you any longer.

Jenna’s mind was in a tangle of conflicting thoughts that all revolved around you. Lost in the feeling of your lips pressed against her neck and your hands roaming her body. Scratching, biting, kissing—she loved and wanted it all.

Her hips moved without the need for permission. Pressing her wet pussy to your denim thigh and gliding it across the material. Letting her soft whimpers fill the dark bedroom lit by the moon's natural glow. Able to make out your caramel features staring up at her adoringly. Almost enthralled by her twisting expressions of pleasure. The conflux of sweet moans that made your heart pound in excitement.

“So beautiful.” It was a quiet praise, but enough to make Jenna’s heart swell. Urging her to try harder, to reach the finish line that she knew would satisfy you.

Your eyes slowly slithered down her petite figure. The tense muscles that ebbed with each roll of her waist that moved with such precision and repetition that created a foggy effect on your mind.

Licking your lips as your hands gripped her hips. Feeling the radiating heat from her body intensified under your calloused palms. It might’ve just been your mind playing tricks on you. But you liked the idea that you had this wordless effect on her that she didn’t know about it. Or that it may just be her body that had a certain spell cast on you.

Whatever it may be, it left you breathless and left to stare at your girlfriend's ethereal body.

“Fuck.” Jenna’s eyes rolled back, body slightly quivering. Her hands held your shoulders, needing a grounding aspect as she lost her sanity from the firm and pleasurable friction against her clit. You helped guide her, giving her a breadcrumb trail to follow as one of your hands slid up her shirt and grope her breasts. Rolling her pebbled nipples between the pads of your fingers, lips slightly parting with a shaky sigh. “Yes!” Jenna’s hand flew to the back of your head, making you look up at her. “Suck them, please!”

Obliging her plea, you yanked the shirt up and captured one of her nipples. Her body shook with the warm sensation that perfectly blended with the chill in the air. Your warm tongue flicked and lathered her nipple until she dug her nails into the back of your neck. Forcing you to switch between the two with her ruts grew far fiercer in urgency.

That knot that she’d missed was becoming more apparent with each glide of her cunt. Each millisecond of stimulation to her clit pushed her closer and closer to the edge. And with you sucking, licking, and biting at her breasts, she was feeling the ecstasy build till it slammed into her. The sheer volume made her choke on breaths. Hips stuttered with her legs clamping around your thigh, body quivering as you held her flush to your chest. Her moans shook the walls as her face scrunched up in bliss.

You helped her through, prolonging the orgasm for as long as you could. Laying her down swiftly and rubbing her clit with your fingers, slowly. Feeling your own pants soaked at the visceral reminder of why sex with Jenna would be the best you would ever experience.

When it ebbed away, she let her half-lidded eyes flicker down to you. Finding you kissing her stomach softly. “If…” She swallowed the lump in her throat, face grimacing at the rawness. “If you’re trying to go another round, you gotta give me a bit longer, baby.”

All she earned was a hum for a moment. Watching the desire in your eyes flow up and down her body with a certain hunger that Jenna was never prepared for. And you looked up at her, flashing that toothy smile that only whispered the lack of sleep Jenna would get tonight.

“I think I get to eat now, right?”

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Life after NDE

Before reading, please see this post. It’s where I first explored the possibility that what we think we know about One for All is unreliable. It also ends with my own guesses about how Katsuki plays into it all. Now, with chapter 404, I can continue where it left off.

There are a lot of different tangents floating around here that I need to bring together for you, so let’s start with what came to light in this newest chapter. There’s a clear emphasis on Toshinori’s vestige form:

but did you catch the slight of hand?

How about now?

As soon as I saw the panels where Shigaraki talks about how the vestige is taking full form, I was practically shouting “OBJECTION” Ace Attorney-style, because they were a complete contradiction to how we were made to understand vestiges in chapter 304 (oh hey look, exactly 100 chapters ago!). Back then, it was suggested to us that Toshinori was special because of his quirklessness, that it allowed him to imprint upon OFA in a way that none of the other previous users could. In contrast, Shigaraki makes it seem like Toshi is no different from the rest. Like oh yeah, this is just how it works, they aren’t fully formed until they die, right? Hello?? No? I thought we were assuming the vestiges didn't have to do with actual souls, apart from Toshi? Given Shigaraki’s own brand of unreliability in his immature frame of mind, I found myself wondering: is he making an assumption, or is he letting slip a secret bit of information about OFA? Idk man, OFA wasn’t even doing this whole vestige thing until like a few months ago, so.

Either way, we can observe the change. As Toshinori’s lifeforce fades, he appears in OFA. I’m left with the simple observation that if he were truly different from the other vestiges because of his quirklessness, it would not have happened this way, since OFA doesn’t have Toshi’s own unique quirk factor to work with, but rather the other way around. You would have expected his vestige to stay the same, or possibly disappear altogether, since it was ostensibly exclusively based on the influence of a living consciousness.

That exception to the rule described in 304 never sat right with me anyway, and I’m not convinced that OFA contains mere memories of its previous users via their quirks just like AFO does. Sure, it’s nice and edgy to imagine that OFA/AFO are more similar than they are different, deep down. But poetic opposites are more interesting to me: AFO isolates by taking, while OFA connects by giving. Previous OFA users give themselves to their successors. One for All was “truly born” not when All for One tossed Yoichi a stolen consolation, but when 2nd extended his hand. There is something distinctly emotional and personal about that. Nana was right—it is kinda romantic.

Because Toshinori kept living, because Izuku has meaningful relationships, that chain of giving linked down through OFA was finally brought to light, like a circuit that’s being closed. At least, that’s how I see it. That’s pretty much what I talked about in my previous post.

Back then I also suggested that this theory of personal connection in some way explains Katsuki apparently having a vestige. Since chapter 403, where Toshinori describes his legacy as being embodied in both Izuku AND Katsuki, I was reminded of how Toshinori was gradually shown this over the course of the manga, as he came to understand Katsuki and his relationship to Izuku, how they are inseparable.

When Toshinori was inspired to pass OFA on to Izuku as he witnessed him trying to save Katsuki, he had no idea the two boys even knew each other. What he saw as a random act of selflessness was in reality a desperate manifestation of a connection that extended beyond memory, of osananajimi. With the eyes of traditional heroism, one could choose to see this as Toshinori’s fatal mistake, that he accidentally chose a successor with a “weakness” of personal attachment, but we all know that heroic isolation isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. No, I think Toshinori made precisely the right choice.

This is going to seem like it’s coming out of nowhere, but bear with me: you know how we still haven’t been told how the first OFA transfer happened? I feel almost silly admitting this, but I think it absolutely had to have been done instinctually, because it’s just too damn specific. As in, they didn’t know what they were doing or what it would accomplish, but they did it anyway. As in. They moved. Without thinking.

Toshinori didn’t fully consciously understand what he was seeing when Izuku ran to Katsuki, but deep within OFA, perhaps he recognized something familiar.

What if, somehow, without knowing it, Toshinori gave One for All to two people? His conviction and intent to give it was inspired by Izuku’s connection to Katuski. Yes, the transfer is inherently physical, but it also relies on mental assertion. Plus, how we think the transfer works may also be an assumption (again, the first time it happened was probably on instinct). Let me break it down even more: Toshi probably thought, as he passed OFA on, “I’m giving it to a successor who has my same balance of heroism—save to win, win to save.” But, in reality, Izuku relies on Katsuki for that balance, as his image of victory. Therefore I think I can argue that their relationship is irrevocably bound within the pact of the OFA transfer. Maybe because Katsuki’s part of OFA is based on emotional connection, once that connection is reciprocated…

…the full extent of that dual transfer is awakened.

I understand I’m making a lot of logical leaps here, but there has to be some sort of explanation for the Katsuki we see at the point of his death, talking to Toshinori’s vestige. I used to think it meant Katsuki had a vestige too. But then why are Katsuki and Toshinori alone, and without Izuku knowing? Moreover, why didn’t Katsuki materialize from the metaphysical mist around Izuku when he died, just as Toshinori did here?

Here comes the other thing I realized in 404. The simplest explanation may be that Katsuki isn’t a vestige at all, but rather he was visiting the OFA interior just as Izuku has done in his sleep or in a coma. Because he’s not a previous user, he’s a current user. The sequence of Toshinori’s NDE (near death experience) in 404, the way it manifested externally around Izuku as something Izuku was aware of, rather than internally within OFA from Toshinori’s point of view, shows me that what happened to Katsuki was different.

A lot of us have been speculating that Katsuki “has access to” OFA in some form or another for quite some time now, but I think the way the idea is suggested in 403/404 is an important distinction because it specifies the mode of connection. To me, it matters that they have two halves of a whole given to each of them, as opposed to, “the chosen one + his sidekick with a little extra OFA boost.” This puts them on equal ground, and it implies that the closer they become, the stronger One for All will be against All for One. It promises that these two idiots who have been toeing around each other and leaving things unspoken for so long will have to really face the facts of their relationship.

One last thing: you might be wondering why the other vestiges apparently haven’t picked up on what’s going on and told Izuku. Well, Yoichi may have felt it? (Where has he been?) But also, Toshinori is the only one directly involved, the only one who realizes his legacy is carried by two. Up until this point his connection to his vestige self has been limited, sort of one-way. For example, he could tell the other vestiges about his research into OFA, but in return he could only faintly pick up on things, and only while Izuku was unconscious.

The time Toshinori spent as a full vestige was brief, but I’m sure it was enough to learn some things about where the shade of himself has been. Even if I’m wrong about everything else, I bet he can give us the answers now.

[kurocatsstuff]

12:28 ✩ : mahou shojo’s dedication (magical girl’s dedication)

genre : harbinger ! Scara x magical girl reader, female reader, suicidal thoughts, sensitive topics, death, violence, trauma, swearing, and love

note : I’ve decided to complete this project of mine ! I’ve been searching so hard for this exact thing so I decided to write it for myself 😭 (please make another one of these so I can enjoy myself too!!)

A being that transcends the wretched universe that you were created in, gave you mercy and a wish in exchange for your own soul at the cost of losing it to a fate worser than the poverty that you so desperately wanted to escape from.. you couldn't ever be more in debt, the entity granted you a wish, the wish of being drowned in riches..

Yet the thought crossed your mind that you still felt the hole in your heart begging for emotions, hope, despair, love? Love. The stupid emotions that would drag you down..you've been fighting witches for 3 years. Your soul gem has been close to being shattered and dirtied multiple times yet you still got up because of fear, fear for the life which you've hated all these years, fear for turning into the witches you were fighting…

It was strange really, defeating so many witches.. collecting their grief seeds every possible moment just to live your desperate life… it felt horrible, you wanted to die… your soul gem was gaining so many impurities more than you defeated witches… you hated this life..yet you had to live with the pain and convince yourself it was positivity.

—————

Your transformation outfit :

Entering a labyrinth on accident you instantly transformed with your soul gem and spear in hand. Alert as you made your way deeper in..

While searching for the witch in the labyrinth you’ve entered, you stumbled across a young man fighting familiars of the witch with electro,

ah yes if you remember correctly a person said that a vision is a gift from a god and can give you elemental powers to fight or just simply use.. it certainly seems more better than exchanging your soul. But, you never deserved to be blessed by a god anyway..

You tensed up as you saw one of the familiars, a crab like creature jumping up and opening its claw towards his head .. in an instant you ran towards him,

obliterating the creature with your spear.. the remaining of them died one by one, a slice to the head, or guts exploding… either way your outfit was covered with blood which started to turn into water.. ‘strange…’ you thought..

While observing the situation you hadn’t realized the young man you had just saved was holding a katana to your neck in an instant..

“If you’re trying to fucking kill me then do it in a place where I can comprehend what I’m seeing..” he spoke with a harsh tone, his gaze shot daggers through you as you were leaded to kneel in front of him as a way to save yourself.. “now tell me, who are you? And state what the fuck is this place..what’s happening?!”

You looked up at him, his eyes looking back down at you. Looking up to his face you had realized he was more beautiful than what you would describe his wraith as… think about what you were gonna say you had realized it would be hard to explain it all…

Welp, this is going to be a long story..

—————

notes : I’m so sorry for making this short, I’m rushing on my exams since they just came up.. 😭

🎐

tag list : @kamit-frog