#these are from back when i was doing the facepaints shot and i was like “oooh colors nice” lol

[robo-dino-puppy]

tenakth tactician

[puckpocketed]

bonjour, i'm from vancouver but i have the worst sleep schedule ever so with onhockey dot tv by my side i'm abt to get into the aihl. who should i root for

BONSOIR!!! rip sleep schedule . I am a devout CBR Brave blog so, there’s only one answer here <3 some propaganda for you

i have personally met our starting goaltender Aleksi Toivonen and he’s a big sweetie . it was during this year’s off-season in uhhh february? and he was hanging out at our rink getting his reps in. i barely knew about the team back then so when he said he played for them i was like !!! and he let me take a very blurry photo 🫶

we’ve always been kinda good in a way that makes people a bit mad LMAO!!! won our first Goodall Cup 2018? so if you wanna root for the team where everyone’s praying for your downfall… get in here <3

on the topic of always being good; we’re so stacked that when IIHF Worlds is on, our roster gets STRIPPED because we have a lot of Australia’s best players! this year it happened and resulted in . um. a 9 game loss streak? <3 we were DEAD last in the league for a while. but the boys came back and we clawed our way to 2nd place in our conference pretty neatly

despite being so good, our rink is SHIT. i’m so serious. as a local, i’ve been to it and skated on it. god. soft, bewretched, small ice. there’s a fucking TRENCH between the boards and the ice too… like you could lose a small earring down that gap 😭 AND during intermission our zamboni does her best but often we have issues with flooding. smallest ice surface and smallest barn in the AIHL i do believe! this is because there’s been a decades-long power struggle between the owners and the government. (the streets are saying it has also historically been a pretty unfriendly place to the hockey players because the owner’s wife was a figure skater so her and her people always got preferential treatment LMAO) ANYWAY the propaganda part is . we play and practice on this ice and in this shitty old barn and we are still TORCHING the league <3 in a way i feel like we are the scrappy underdogs (we are not. but. we are to ME!!) anyway imagine what we could do with real facilities jskdjshsklff

canberra’s a small world so this team is just a bunch of brothers playing hockey together,, i’m SO serious. we got FOUR kubara brothers !! TWO miettinen brothers. and 2 Yorks !!! GONGEOUS NEPOBABIES..!!!

we just signed Austin Cangelosi and he’s boybestfriends with our guy Jake Ratcliffe and i love seeing them gossip on the ice like two girls at a slumber party. Cangelosi is 5’7 and got 🤏 this close to the NHL during a time where size was absolutely everything. i have the scouting notes from his draft year, and his overage draft years — i think if he’d come up in this era somebody would’ve taken a shot at him in like the 5th-7th round?? but alas. smash cut to now: he’s a small, fast, skilled player and has a relentless motor. if he stays with us next year he probably contends for most points in the league. he’s very good and fun and i louve heem…

i was talking shit about the Brave Cave but i love her so bad. we have new management who i deeply despise on a moral level because they’re a property development/building company, but aside from that they’ve put staff in place to make the vibes of pre/post games SO good. we’re hoping with this acquisition we will finally get the new rink we were promised in uhhhhh 2017. but who CARE!!! right now the capacity in the Cave is about 500, but it is apparently THEE most miserable place to play in as a travelling team. we’re a very rowdy crowd. we don’t boo our guys. we are deeply intimidating down to the last small child in CBR Brave facepaint.

on the topic of vibes: there are a few personalities at the rink who are pretty much fixtures. 1) the Cow Bell Guy; which is what it says on the tin. he brings a cow bell to every game and clangs it whenever something cool happens. when i say every game i mean like. i’ve seen him on monday nights when our beer league teams play godbless. (chatted to him a few times, his kid is a hockey fanatic and an ipad baby LMAO). 2) the Screamer; also what it says on the tin. Legend has it about 15 years ago she discovered hockey in an Autism Way and now she attends every home game and stands in the exact same corner. she heckles the SHIT out of the opposing team and honestly it would be kinda offputting if it was my team she was yelling at but she’s on MY side and so she’s a hero to me <3 i initially thought she was an overenthusiastic WAG or something but. no. she’s just on the hockey freak juice.

anyway. root for MY team. CBR BRAVE BEST TEAM OF ALL TIME EVER EVER EVER AND WE GOING TO THE CUP!!!!!

jokes aside please choose whatever team u like and have fun <3

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Cosplay WIP and Doodle Dump >:3

Haven't really been working on a bunch of digital art lately bc I've been busy working on cosplays and crying over Stolitz XD

But I thought I'd show you all what I've been working on since I'm really excited about it! <3 (So many updates :D)

Let's start with Helluva doodles!

I finally started drawing Blitzø and Fizzy-Frog! <3 Fizzy looks so much healthier in the newst ep I could CRY ohhh my goddd. And both Fizz and Blitzø look so dapper! Little cuties! Little cuties who are friends again! My heart!

Next up: Cosplay props!

We've got a lot of stuff for the Vees, and then a liiiitle bit of Angel Dust progress to show y'all!

Let's start with Vox since I only have one main thing I've made so far!

I had an old pair of headphones that stopped working, and I'd already worn them to costest Vox (since I'm not going for the TV screen approach) and so I thought I could give them a makeover! I decided to do the symbols from his silly little hat, and paint the microphone tip to resemble the little red bauble at the end of his antenna!

I just sanded the labels off, painted everything in acrylic and then sealed it with clear nail polish, pretty simple stuff, but I'm really pleased with the effect! And I think it will be a nice touch for the costume! <3

Now onto Valentino! I have the most stuff for him so far bc everything that wretched man owns is cool AF and I wanted to make, like, all of it XD

I started with the guns from 1x02 ala: "Which of these makes me look sexier ;3" since I thought they were both pretty iconic and I definitely want to film that little clip once my cosplays are ready to go hehe

(My reference Image ^)

This pink one is definitely my favorite, both in the show and based on how it came out in the end! I've only ever built one propgun before this for Jinx, so it was really fun to get back to it again! Lots of math and measurements, but luckily I'm a little racoon creature who hordes recycling like my life depends on it XD Even though he actually bedazzles another gun in the meeting room in 1x02, I was not about to make a third one in the span of two weeks, so I decided to just put it on one side of the pink, and I really love it tbh!

The gold and grey definitely looks a bit more... cardboard-y, but I'm okay with it tbh, I don't love the design of this one as much, so I probably won't be using it on it's own as often as the pink! But I still think it turned out well overall! Especially bc by the time I got to this one my exacto-blade was crapping out on me hardcore lmao

I also have two hand options ready for Valentino! I noticed that sometimes he has gold claws, and sometimes his hands are fully black, so I thought it would be good to have a couple options!

I went ahead and ordered some pleather gloves which I think work really well for him on their own, but then I also took some fake nails and layered them with gold acrylic paints and clear nail polish to make his 'actual' hands. I figured if I need a particular close-up for a shot it would be really cool to use black facepaint on my skin, and then have these nails stuck on! I just used eyelash glue to test out affixing them last night, and I think it actually worked super well!

Since the nails are pretty, well, claw-like I don't want them on all the time, but I still need them to stay when I'm moving around in costume, and I think the eyelash glue is kind of the perfect things for my at-home cosplay needs! I'd definitely want to do something stronger if I was going to a con in these, but yeah - XD I'm rambling, anyways -

Let's move onto Velvette!

I had an extra set of gold nails I'd made, that I was originally planning on attaching to the gloves (I did not like how that looked lmao) but I didn't want them to go to waste, so I used some of the little gems and do-dads that I had laying around to make them match one of the bra-tops I'm planning to use for Velvette! (Yes that sparkly orange and pink thing on the left is what I tried to match it to!)

I have a plethora of blank fake nails now, so I think it would be really fun to make a pair that matches each of Vel's outfits! I hyper-fixated on nail art for a couple years when I was a kid, so I'm really excited to play with those skillz again lmao - especially because I can use acrylic paint for these instead of nail polish which really cuts down on cost and expands my color ranges exponentially!

The last thing I have to show you for the Vee's specifically is the wigs I ordered for them! (I want to scream, I'm so excited!!!!)

(All of these are from Wig Is Fashion btw, notspon or anything I just have really loved their wigs so far! I really hope these three work well!)

Finally, my gloves for Angel and a couple of my colored lights for filming came in, so I just threw on one of the outfits I have ready for him, the wig I styled, and the gloves to get a feel for how it was coming along :3

I think I want to get different little shorts for this look (maybe pleather?) and figure out a couple other details to add in, because I feel like there is currently too much 'blank' space in the look. I'm sure that will be lessened by the makeup, set, etc. But I want to make sure the extra looks I have for characters still feel 'designed'/styled well, obvi.

Anyways! Lots of work to do, and I still need to buy a new sewing machine so i can make some of the actual outfits from the show, but it's all a process lmao

I'm planning a full-on Angel CMV atm, as well as a ton of other videos, but that's all a ways away lmao, I wanna really put effort into it which means time haha

I did already post some little Cherri, Angel, Vox and Charlie closet-costests to my TT if y'all are interested! I've also made Millie and Blitzø horns, but tbh I just can't be assed to get pictures of all of that rn XD if you look at the most recent (as of rn lmao) 'cosplay updates' vid that's up, you can see the horns, wigs etc that I didn't show in this post!

My main links are all right here if you want 'em: https://lunchtimebedamned.carrd.co/

And with that I'm going to go have brain-off time LMAO I've been working non-stop for weeks on this. I'm also sorry to anyone waiting for the Ch.4 update on The Space Between Us, this chapter is deciding to be very slow-going and difficult. IRL stuff is probably heavily contributing to that, but oh well. Know that I am working on it <3

[sleepymarmot]

Vertigo (1958)

[Watched on August 28th]

Please enjoy a liveblog of me watching this classic completely blind and having An Experience. (But only if you’ve seen it yourself, because this is one of the films that work much better when you know nothing in advance.)

Liveblog

The first scene between the man and the woman was the height of “as you know”. They just talk and talk in exposition while I spend several minutes trying to figure out whether they’re a couple or father and daughter.

I decided to watch this film right now because I know it was brought up in Laura Mulvey’s article about male gaze and wanted to read it without getting spoiled, and I don’t know what exactly she said about it, but I immediately noticed how the man is filmed “objectively” but the woman is shown through his eyes, following his line of sight.

Glad I know nothing about the plot because I’m genuinely intrigued.

Has she really not noticed an extremely obvious trail even once?

Oh my god I misread the dates on the headstone as the 20th century instead of the 19th and kept thinking Carlotta died just before the events of the movie. Well, this makes more sense now!

Really pretty shots with the Golden Gate Bridge.

My late grandmother must have looked a lot like the main character when she was young… They were probably born around the same time, she wears her hair in a similar way to what I remember...

Bro I know she’s the other main character and the two of you are probably going to have at least some romantic tension, but why are you grabbing her hand like that, she’s married to your friend…

I am hoping more and more that we’ll get a recap of the entire film from her POV at some point. Like her hiding in the hotel room when he came in to check, or listening in to his conversation with her husband on the phone.

This black-and-white outfit slaps

I’m glad I know nothing about this movie because I genuinely have no idea whether it’s going to be supernatural or not

I didn’t expect her to die so soon. There’s 45 minutes left! So what now? Has the husband been driving her mad to take possession of the inheritance? Is the film going to be about him from now on?

Damn, the effects in this dream sequence did NOT age well

I like how the film draw attention to the 50s pretty women looking indistinguishable. I kept wondering whether Midge and Madeleine were played by the same actress!

Huh, I suspected that she threw a fake body, but didn’t think she wasn’t alone!

Oh, so the dead body wasn’t fake, the living one was.

The film really shifted POVs, and not in a way I expected. Now we know what she’s thinking but have no idea what the fuck he is.

Oh I bet there’s class commentary on this too. I can see where the gender commentary is. I thought the perfect alluring image of upper class white femininity, mysterious and vulnerable, was just a patriarchal cinema convention, but it’s actually constructed even within the fictional universe! What a pity, to know that a man does not want a real you, only a mirage designed to be as stereotypically attractive as possible. “If I let you change me, will that do it? If I do what you tell me, will you love me?” “Yes. Yes.” “All right. All right, then, I’ll do it. I don’t care anymore about me.”

Either he has figured it out and is trying to set up a trap for the murdering husband, or he’s oblivious and poor Judy needs to grab her IDs and run far far away asap

Like, I have to be fair to the dude. From his perspective, he found a woman who is somehow an exact copy of an innocent who’s been murdered by a ghost. He’s living in a fairytale now, as far as he’s concerned she might as well be some magical changeling and if he believes enough he can bring his beloved back or something.

It’s amazing how makeup can change a face — she’s a great beauty as Madeleine and barely noticeable in Judy’s garish facepaint

Oh no is he going to push her into the bay now

“One final thing I have to do.” Nooo motherfucker

“And then, I’ll be free of the past.” Noooo

Oh he’s not pushing her into the water, he’s pushing her off the top floor

Can she push him off instead? Please Mr Hitchcock

Noo why did she kill herself at the last second??

What? That’s the end? He didn’t even jump after her?

Well this was a great movie until literally the last minute. RIP

Why are women so in love with this below average guy anyway???

Rating: between 8 and 9, I think.

[End of liveblog]

Full disclosure: I am publishing this “review” months after watching the film itself, because after reading Mulvey’s “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” I fell into a research rabbit hole, got my hands onto a bunch of academic writing on the film, and didn’t want to post my thoughts on the film until I went through it all, in case my future self wanted to make this movie review double as literature review.

I read “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” immediately after watching the film (fighting for my life throughout the psychoanalytical sections, and skipping the paragraphs about the films I haven’t seen yet). Turns out, the analysis of Vertigo takes up only two and a half paragraphs, but it spoils everything so I’m glad I watched the film first. These paragraphs are, of course, quite insightful, except for one weird part where the author describes Judy’s acquiescence to Scottie’s demands as “exhibitionism” and “masochism”. I hope these words had very different connotations half a century ago, because this sounds like downright victim-blaming to me. The current day meaning of these words would imply that Judy enjoyed what was happening, and she made it very clear that she didn’t.

Another essay, “‘The look,’ narrativity, and the female spectator in Vertigo”, written by Karen Hollinger more than a decade later, is a more thorough analysis of this film alone that takes into account the shifts in POV I mentioned in the liveblog above, but to my disappointment, it also describes Judy’s attempts to mollify Scottie as “masochistic”. For the sake of my own sanity, I’m going to assume that word really meant something else in old academic writing.

“The Critic as Consumer: Film Study in the University, Vertigo, and the Film Canon” by Virginia Wright Wexman is a much more grounded essay: it does away with psychoanalysis and talks about the film in the context of its production, which was pretty informative, as well as provides the class commentary I wished for in the liveblog. It was enjoyable to read an analysis based on the material realities of the world that actually exist, and not on someone’s fever dreams. This might be my first dive into this corner of academia, and I was unpleasantly surprised to see people spend so much effort on a methodology that seemed so obviously inadequate to me.

I went through 5+ more articles in addition to the ones I named above, but that reading had diminishing returns. The more I read, the more familiar with the material I became, and the less interesting it was to read other people’s analysis, especially because I kept disagreeing with it. Broadening my horizons in this way was pretty fun and I don’t exactly regret it, but the process wasn’t a great use of my time and energy, and actively demotivated me from watching more films because after months and months I still wasn’t done with this one.

Here’s something I learned from one of the articles: there doesn’t seem to be a singular canonical explanation for whether Judy fell accidentally or jumped to her death on purpose. The initial screenplay, which I found online, indicates it was an accident; Kim Novak herself said in an interview that it was suicide. Not only did Hitchcock not show what happened, he didn’t seem to bother to either inform the actress of his interpretation or come up with one at all. That's how little he, and therefore the film itself, cared about the main female character. Nothing matters but the man and his trauma. Scottie’s storyline is concluded poetically regardless of the reason why Judy falls, but Judy’s own storyline is literally dropped as if it was never there.

[funkyllama]

Hiiiii 💜💜 I come from simsta and don’t know how to ask this 😙 but why does Crown Prince Louis look different now versus when he and Eloise were dating??? 😘 love your story 😘😍

Hi anon - welcome from Simsta <33

This is something I (and Kristen) did deliberately. We wanted Louis and Eloise's time together to be visually apart from the rest of their memories. In part, it had to do with my different aesthetics at the time, but mainly things were specifically chosen for that reason. He got the normal treatment that my sims do (facepaint/makeup in general), both Louis and Elle wore mainly light/happy colors, and certain scenes took place in purposfully chosen sets that I don't think I will be reusing. When they were through, he immediately went back to the version of Louis that Kristen has. He is no longer my character and you can tell that he's a guest immediately. Also - notably - he looks like my version of him in the post-breakup bench argument, despite looking like normal Louis the post before, because I had shot that post like... first in the entire act. You can count on me to ALWAYS shoot out of order lmaooo- @officalroyalsofpierreland

[gutsfics]

how about a low stakes and high stakes episode "what if Jo had been there" for Time Traveller's Pig (how would he spend his time at the carnival?) and Not What He Seems

eeeee tysm for asking <3 💞

for Time Traveller's Pig, he's running either a caricatures booth or a facepainting booth. im leaning toward face painting though, and you can either choose from a design he made based on Mystery Shack attractions, or just ask for Whatever and he'll do his best (there is a kid rocking the Really Cool Tiger Going Through A Divorce)

his booth is set up close enough to Stan's dunk tank that If someone is able to dunk him, Joseph can help him out but not so close that he or anyone stopped there will get beamed by a baseball. at the end of the episode when Stan gets dunked by Lolph, Joseph is laughing too hard to get him out at first. it takes until Stan inhales some water laughing at Robbie for Joseph to calm down enough to get him out

NWHS got kinda long so i'm putting it under a cut

for Not What He Seems, Joseph was taken into police custody alongside Stan with the assumption that he was an accomplice. which, Correct, but he's also just Better At Lying To Cops than Stan is. plus also he didn't do any of the "stealing nuclear waste from the government" for plausible deniability reasons. like he helped w the portal of course, but it was more "helping Stan do a thing he needs an extra set of hands for" or "making sure Stan eats and drinks water and goes to bed" type stuff. lowkey he kinda resents being put into another "doting housewife" role since his divorce with his first husband but he feels insanely guilty about feeling resentment. especially bc Stan is a WAY better partner than his ex was. low bar to clear but clears it Stan does. also part of it is him not communicating to Stan thats how he feels. he thinks that Stan's grief & problems are More Important than his own.

anyway since he seems to knows nothing, the goverment guys leave him w Blubs and Durland to focus more resources on Stan. bc, you know, Blubs and Durland, all he has to do is just walk out the door after the gravity thing happens. like he didnt even know for sure that Stan was using it to get a way (+ also he didnt have anything to alert him about it the way Stan did) but he figured it was as good a time as any to leave. does this incriminate him, escaping with Stan? yes, definitely, absolutely. but Stan's been working towards this for the past 30 years, he wants to be good emotional support for him

during the final confrontation in front of the portal, he's........ quiet. since he joined Stan in Gravity Falls, he has these reoccuring dreams he can't ever quite remember when he wakes but that leave him with this foreboding that he cant explain* and he kind of..... doesn't want the portal fixed? yes it Has put a strain on his and Stan's relationship, thank you for asking. he hasn't brought it up in a while but Stan knows full well his thoughts on the portal & about that sense of unease and dread he doesn't know the source of. so anyway he just kinda...... leaves himself out of that confrontation? its been long enough that now he just feels "whatever happens, happens" about the whole thing. although if he had a say in it, he'd side with Dipper

*there are hints to this as early as Dreamscapers when he goes into Stan's mind with the rest of them & he recognizes Bill but doesn't know why

if i were framing shots for this episode (which i am planning on doing at some point, for a lot of episodes, once im back in a I Can Draw Things Again way), he would be kind of hanging back aways from everyone else, just watching everything play out, clearly worried/uneasy but like. nothing framing him specifically. the kind of thing you notice on rewatches after you learn his full involvement in this

also i think prior to this episode, its left vauge if he knows whats going on with Stan or not. like he definitely knows about the weird things in Gravity Falls (& unlike Stan he thinks its good the kids know bc that way they've got Something Else to focus on than anything going on in the Mystery Shack. another point of tension between the two tee hee), but we don't ever see him down in the lab. so him escaping police custody w Stan would be us learning that he knew the whole time, bc him lying to the cops is also him lying to the audience

anyway yeah. thank you again for asking 💞

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

so...

Plexus, aka coincidentalAnxitie is a highblood, indigo specifically. She was raised into the carnival, and one of her close friends from that time was Tirent Bawurz. Solar, thats Carnifex ooc, once said she has blue guilt and thats not wrong. She abandoned her faith... or at least everything she could of it, and when she did, with few friends, she took the opportunity to transition as much as her dick lusus would let her. Bawurz was a little kid but Plexus was his crush basically, and he never got over what he saw as abandonment. He saw her remorse and mourning of tormented lowbloods mutants and heretics as disgust for him, on some level at least, and not long later his lusus was shot and killed, hunted in the seas by an Orphaner, fed to the fuchsia lusus Glyb'golyb. He never found out why she didn't come home.

without guidance or his one companion with any sense of ethics be got ... fucked up and fell really hard into purple supremacy and his faith even more. If he couldn't make Fasnak proud and he couldn't make Crocomom proud he would make his Gods proud. and that meant killing. a *lot*. He became a gladiator, basically. He would collect the bloods of his enemies in cans and jars to be turned into paints for his banners, to add even more glamour to his performance, it made the crowds cheer, and it felt good to exert control over others in a life where he had so little control over the ones important to him, even if one of those ones was a childhood crush, he never let himself be vulnerable enough to have friends like that again, and he eventually isolated from even those he still associated with.

Then he noticed something.

He got a grumblr account, if you asked him in person i dont think he would have an answer as to why, but in truth he was lonely... and angry. He threatened the only people he knew on the scythe to get attention, Plexus with the life of her moirail, and her moirail Lumiss with the life of Plexus, and eventually her place of work, an illegal hospicull. That pushed Lumiss over the edge. Lums wants to be a killer but had never killed, and this fuck was threatening Lums' diamond. Lumiss started stalking Bawurz after the first few threats on Plexus, this sounded like an immediate danger. Lumiss went to his hive at a time when lum'd know he was at carnival, the only place he went outside his hive, and waited in his banner room, hidden in a rack of his works.

Bawurz got home, washed off his facepaint, and put up his recent project to dry, sat down in his chair to catch up on anything interesting...

---[death]---

and Lumiss slit his throat.

He thought fast, but it was over the second the blade made it into his windpipe. He didn't fight back, he was shocked. He tied a banner around his throat, but he stopped holding his breath and he lost his composure. its hard to do anything but cough with blood pooling in your lungs, and once you cough you cant stop. He turned to run, lightheaded already, he tripped, he died.

yall hes... hes dead man

[hillnerd]

For the ship and word game: Harry/Ginny, snitch ♥️

Thanks for the prompt! Hinny as parents - James is twelve. :)

SNITCH

It was December and so it was a cold grey day. There was no other kind of day in Scotland in December.

Despite the rather miserable weather, Ginny was jubilant as she trudged through the snow towards the familiar Quidditch pitch, red sweater on under her thick winter coat.

James had sent a letter late in the night. It was barely legible, and mentioned something about Quidditch. The follow-up letter from Teddy helped clarify things. James was in the reserves for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and was getting to fly his first game thanks to a chaser getting a bad case of Fwooper Flu.

No one had ever come to her games at Hogwarts as her mother had never been comfortable Apparating and couldn’t spare the Floo powder, while their father was always busy at work. It wasn’t something she particularly resented, but looking back she would have liked them to see her and cheer her on for her games.

Harry was off on a mission, but Ginny could spare the time, and was happy to get a chance to see James playing his first ever game. It was strange being back at Hogwarts after so many years. She’d been back a few times for memorials back in the early 2000’s, but it had been over a decade since then, and much had changed. In some ways it was the same- the Quidditch pitch didn’t look all that different, but the pathways to it had changed, the seating, and she was having trouble finding the locker room.

“Ginny!” she heard a voice call, and saw Neville waving in the crowd. She enthusiastically waved and jogged over.

“Hey Nev!” She smiled and gave a hug.

“Here to see James?”

“Yes! Though, I’ve not clue where the locker rooms are! Where’d they move them to?”

“Ah! Those are on the South side now. The old ones had a lot of old spell damage and got torn out, oh, five year ago now?” he explained, leading the way to the locker room.

She could hear the sounds of teens excitedly gearing up for the game.

The team were mostly students Teddy and Victoire’s ages, if she had to guess by the look of them. James, by comparison, looked tiny and pale. He was bouncing both his legs as he sat at his bench, hands running through his hair. He was already with uniform and pads on, while the rest of the team were more languorous in getting their pads in place.

She’d been exactly the same her first match as a Harpie.

“Knock knock,” she said, fully entering the room. The teens quieted down seeing there was an adult in the room, while James shot to his feet.

“Mum!” James cried out with a smile, before carefully schooling it to a much cooler nonchalant look. “Erm, what are you doing here?”

“Came to see your first big game, of course,” she laughed.

“Oh wait- that’s Ginny Potter!” cried out an eastern asian girl. One of the tall teenage whipped around, a furious blush on his face, before shutting his locker that had an old poster of hers. She remembered the row she’d had with her mum over the poster and how she wasn’t ‘fully in her uniform’ for the shot. Another kid, Oliver Wood’s daughter she’d met a few times over the years, gave a quick wave.

“Yup,” she said with a winning smile. “Best of luck, to all of you. Go Gryffindor!”

She caught James’s eye and was surprised to find him looking rather cross. She gave a quick gesture with her head to the door and he joined her just outside.

“Excited for your match?”

“Well I was…”

Oh dear. She could feel the tween angst rolling off of him.

“Everything alright?”

“Why’d you have to come into the locker room? No one else’s parents did that.”

“You sure about that? Because I know for a fact Oliver Wood was there for the first few years of your Keeper’s games.”

James bit his lip, adjusting his rectangular glasses.

“You sure?”

“Oh yes. And he wore full regalia and painted his face, so you’re old mum isn’t too much of an embarrassment by comparison.” She had no idea if Oliver Wood had done this, but it was the first embarrassing thing she could imagine to make her look a bit less bad by comparison.

“It’s not that you’re embarrassing…” he said, digging the toe of his shoe into the ground.

“Oh?”

“I just… I want them to be thinking about how I’m good on my own. Not because of you.”

Oh. She’d not considered that as being a thing, but completely understood the sentiment.

“Hey, I can leave if—”

“No… No, I want you here. I’m glad you came,” he said, before furtively looking around him then leaning in to hug her.

“You’re going to crush it, James,” she whispered in his ear. “Remember to really tuck in your heels and arms when you’re doing any hard sprints. And look farther down the field so you can get a big picture of the whole game and really slow things down. Oh, and ‘give to get’ on your tight turns so that—”

“I know, I know!” James said, putting a hand through his messy auburn hair. It wasn’t as messy as Harry’s, but she had a feeling he’d been running hands through it more than usual.

“Best of luck, darling,” she said with a kiss to his forehead.

He gave her one of his most confident smiles, flashing his straight teeth, and for a moment she could just picture what he’d be like when he was quite grown up, a thought that terrified her.

“See you after the game,” she said, giving his hair a ruffle as she went to find her seat.

She looked for Neville amongst the stands, but spotted a familiar head of dark hair beside him.

“Harry?” she called out. He turned and grinned at her, wearing a Gryffindor scarf and facepaint on his cheeks.

“Go Gryffindor,” he said with a grin.

She smiled back, loving that he’d somehow made it to the game. She also loved how mortified James would be later. She was the cool parent; today at least.

“Nice to see you in your old colors,” she said, taking a seat beside her husband. “Thought you had a mission today?”

“The great thing about being Head Auror is you can push those off on other people,” he said, taking hold of her hand. “Plus it’s his first game. I couldn’t miss it. It’s nice to have someone in the stands rooting for you when you’re taking on something daunting.”

She gave his hand a squeeze.

“Yell super loud when James flies out. He’ll love it!”

James might act embarrassed, but she was sure he actually would love having his father there cheering him on.

When James flew out Harry gave a giant whoop, which made James show off with some loop-de-loops instead of going red faced like Albus would have.

The match was a good one, and James was keeping up very well with players years older than he. She glowed as he followed her advice to ‘give to get’- slowing down on turns so he could gain more smooth speed on the long runs.

He was a natural chaser and she couldn’t be more proud.

James was in a perfect tail slide transition with his Quaffle when a bludger was his his direction. Too intent on looking down the field, and with all the cheers, he missed her and Harry’s scream as their son took a Bludger to the back of his head and went tumbling from his broom.

There were a number of spells on the field to prevent a student from making impact with the ground (something they could have used back in her and Harry’s day). It did nothing to prevent the terror scraping at her insides seeing her little boy put on a stretcher with blood running down his temple, glasses smashed and laid on his chest. Harry’s jaw was set and he made an incongruous sight looking so grim while adorned in the bright face paint.

James was rushed to the hospital wing, and she and Harry stayed by his side the whole way there. All his cousins and Teddy came to visit, but they dispersed once they knew James would be alright, with the exception of Teddy who opted to stay.

James was healed and bandaged up by Hannah Longbottom. Despite knowing James was fully healed, they opted to stay until he woke up. Teddy nodded off in a nearby chair, his hair subconsciously turning the same color as James’s as he slept.

Ginny stood looking at James’s sleeping face until her vision blurred. She could picture him when he was just a tiny baby, his look of mischief on his face as he padded along the halls on pudgy legs, toddling after Teddy and Harry, wanting to be so grown up.

Harry took her hand and squeezed it.

“He’s alright, love.”

“I know,” she replied, swiping at her eyes. “I can’t stop thinking of him as a baby, for some reason.”

Harry gave a dry laugh. “I’ve been thinking the same thing. Is it just me, or is being a parent a bit like having a time turner? In the blink of an eye you can see your twelve year old as a baby or when he first walked.”

“Especially when they’re asleep,” she said, stroking James’s lightly freckled cheek. “I’m glad you came today.”

“Me too. He flies just like you, you know,” said Harry before standing beside her.

“I was thinking some of those loop-de-loops looked like you at that age.”

“Naw, all his brilliance is from his Mum,” he said, leaning in to gently kiss her.

“Eurgh…” James gave a grunt, squinting at them. “What happened?”

“You got a bludger to the back of your head. Same injury your dad had in his sixth year.”

“Wicked…” said James, before his eye went wide. “Who won the game?”

“Gryffindor, even though they didn’t catch the Snitch. You Chasers were that good!” said Harry, sitting beside James.

Ginny could picture James’s first broom ride, with Harry excitedly following beside him so he wouldn’t slip off the tiny broom.

[recurring-polynya]

I know it's been like 2 weeks but you know what shooting my shot for the Rukia Bday Bonanza (Bunnynanza? Bunanza? ...No.) More Squad 11 Rukia mohawk mini-menace of my heart and also Renji's heart.

I got so excited about revisiting this exceptionally dumb AU that I sort of forgot that I had no idea where I was going with this. I mentioned at some point that I think about this a lot, and I do, but I mostly think about it in the past, about the events that led up to this, but if I wrote that, I couldn’t keep torturing Byakuya and that’s honestly the only thing that’s important here. Please focus your attention on hot grumpy, gender-fluid goth Rukia, and not on how horribly rambly this is.

| ao3 | ff.net |

 🐅     💀     🍵

“Hisana,” said Byakuya, “I feel like you are not listening to the words I am saying to you.”

“I am listening very carefully,” Hisana replied as she traced the edges of her eyelids with liner. Hisana had a maid, a very good one, in fact, but she sometimes preferred applying her own make-up. Byakuya had noticed that she was especially wont to do so when she felt nervous. “‘Do not get your expectations up, Hisana.’ ‘I am not entirely sure it is her, Hisana, the resemblance is passing at best.’ ‘She is likely not what you are expecting, Hisana.’ Did I get it all?”

“I stand corrected. I feel like you are ignoring the words I am saying to you.”

Hisana pressed the cap back onto her tube of make-up with a pop. “I know she’s not the baby I left behind. I understand that she is a full grown adult with her own life that she may not want me in. I have had a long time to think about this, you know.”

Byakuya squeezed his eyes closed. “You misunderstand me. I know you have mentally prepared for meeting your sister. “I am trying to tell you that it is not really possible for anyone to be prepared for…this person.”

Hisana held out her hand and Byakuya helped her to her feet, pressing her cane into one of her hands, and offering his elbow for the other. “Thank you, dear,” she said softly. And then, “You worry too much.”

Byakuya had known from the beginning that there would be no dissuading her.

Seike was standing in the hallway, waiting for them. “Your…guests have arrived, my lord. I had them escorted to the room that overlooks the peony garden, and arranged for a tea setting.”

Hisana’s hand tightened on Byakuya’s arm. He didn’t know what to say. There was nothing else he could say. They headed out to the room that overlooked the peony garden.

On the bright side, Inuzuri Rukia and her dreadful beau had dressed up. Unfortunately, what they had dressed up as appeared to be a pair of comedy relief villains from a kabuki play.

Abarai had covered up his awful forehead tattoos, which was nice, except that he had covered them up with what appeared to be an equally awful tiger-striped bandana. The tiger stripes were presumably meant to coordinate with the painted tigers that danced and roared about the hem of his eye-searing red and gold haori. To be honest, the thing was rather exquisite, it just wasn’t something that a person should put on their body and then wear to another person’s house for tea. The tiger theme didn’t stop there, no, why should it? Abarai had swapped out his work-day skull facepaint for a razor-sharp cat's-eye, his lids smudged with bright splashes of orange and white up to the brow-bone. It might have been a rather sultry look, if not for the fact that the young man’s eyes were as wide as a child’s, taking in everything as though he had never been in a house before.

Inuzuri, on the other hand, wore a very subtle and handsome ensemble. It was also utterly masculine. She was in gradations of black-- black haori over black kimono paired with silver-on-black striped hakama. As Byakuya looked more carefully, (mostly trying not to burn his retinas by looking directly at Abarai), he noticed that there were ghostly red and white spider lilies haunting the hem of her jacket, and there were tiny skulls near the shoulders, instead of the usual family mon. So much for taste. She, too, had swapped out her workday death’s-head makeup for sharp, simple slashes of eyeliner, red on the lower lid, black on the top. It made her look like she hadn’t slept in a year. The ghastly spiked hairstyle of earlier had been brushed out into a big, soft waves, like the mane of a horse. It looked rather pretty like that, Byakuya thought absently, before realizing that these people had somehow destroyed his entire aesthetic sense in a matter of seconds.

“Thank you for inviting us to your home!” Abarai bellowed, Inuzuri joining in a beat late. Both of them dropped into a deep bow.

Hisana swallowed, her fingers digging into Byakuya’s arm.

“Thank you for coming,” Byakuya replied.

“We brought you a present!” Abarai continued at the same atrocious volume, thrusting an object at Byakuya.

Byakuya took it instinctually, and then belatedly looked down at the thing he held in his hands. It was… a plant cutting, freshly potted into a cheap little teacup, a commercially made thing with a little dancing rabbit stamped on the side. Byakuya stared at it, wracking his brain for potential symbolism.

“It’s from our spider plant. At home,” Inuzuri mumbled.

Byakuya glanced up at the girl. If this had been their first meeting, he would have just thought her surly and ill-mannered, but he had seen her earlier, at ease with herself and overflowing with cool bravado. Byakuya knew he was not, generally, very good at reading people in informal settings, but, for some reason, he found Inuzuri very obvious. She was nervous, and it was not his presence that was to blame for it.

“Ayasegawa says they’re real good at cleaning up the air,” Abarai announced. He paused. “You probably don’t need that much in a nice place like this. Y’can never have too much oxygen, though, right?”

“Stop. Talking,” Inuzuri hissed at him through her teeth.

Okay!” he agreed.

“It was very thoughtful, thank you,” Hisana replied, her voice thick with emotion. “Shall we have some tea?”

“Yes, please,” Abarai replied instantly, and Inuzuri gave a small nod of agreement.

Byakuya breathed out a small sigh of relief as a servant scurried in with the tea tray. Seike appeared at his elbow. “May I take your plant, Lord Byakuya?”

“Er, yes,” Byakuya said, handing it over with great care, as though it were in danger of exploding.

“Put it in the library, please, if you will, Seike,” Hisana said sweetly. “Find a sunny spot near my art table.”

Byakuya noticed Inuzuri watching him like a hawk as he helped Hisana sit, but the girl said nothing. Once she was settled, Hisana began pouring tea. Byakuya could have done it, but it was a thing Hisana liked to do. “Pardon my poor manners,” she said slowly. “Rukia-- may I call you Rukia?”

“Everyone does,” Inuzuri shrugged.

“You’ve grown up to be so strong and handsome,” Hisana said, brushing at one eye absently. “I never imagined.”

Byakuya’s eyes slid over to take in his snuffling wife. She didn’t even seem surprised that her sister was barely half a step removed from a yakuza tough.

“And Byakuya tells me that you and Mr. Abarai have been companions since Inuzuri? Oh, that’s so wonderful!”

“You can call me Renji,” Abarai replied, eying the tray of wagashi. “Can I have one of those? Ow, Rukia!”

“Oh, yes, of course!” Hisana flapped a hand. “Help yourself, that’s what they’re there for.”

Abarai abruptly scooped a massive handful onto his plate, and then deposited two more onto Inuzuri’s. Despite himself, Byakuya found this gesture strangely charming.

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Inuzuri said slowly, peeling the wrapper away from her wagasi approximately one molecule at a time, “what makes you think I might be your sister?”

“That is a very fair question,” Hisana granted. “All the evidence is circumstantial so far.”

Byakuya looked at Inuzuri, with her purple eyes and her heart-shaped face and her tiny hands and her improbably cute nose, and then he looked at his wife with her purple eyes and heart-shaped face and tiny hands and even more adorable nose. Then, he looked at Abarai, who appeared to be in the same state of deep disbelief as himself, and against his better judgement, they shared a moment of horrible solidarity.

“There are kidou used by the nobility to establish paternity,” Hisana went on. “It’s not exactly the same, since our relationship originated in the Living World, but Byakuya thinks it should give an indication. That is, if you would be willing to undergo such a thing. The clan elders would probably require such a thing, and perhaps it would give you peace of mind. I remember you, though. I know in my heart that you are my sister.”

Inuzuri set the wagashi back down on her plate again, untasted. “Captain Kuchiki wouldn’t answer me when I asked earlier. What does it mean, for us to be sisters?” Her eyes slid over to Byakuya, and he cursed the fact that someone with those eyes had been sent through the Squad Eleven School of Violent and Malicious Eye Contact. “What do your clan elders care about me?”

“There are a number of reasons why I… left you in Inuzuri,” Hisana said, twisting her hands together. “But the primary one was so I could find some means of income. So I could take care of you. I always intended to come back for you, if I could. I… I checked in on you a few times, but at some point I guess…”

“I ran away?” Inuzuri broke in. “I ran away from so many places in Inuzuri that I can’t even tell you which one you might have let me with.”

“In any case,” Hisana pushed on, “You seem to be doing very well for yourself, but if… if you wanted to, you could come live with us, here. The family is much smaller than it used to be, and there’s lots of space…”

“By ‘you’, you mean plural ‘you’, right? Meaning ‘us’?” Inuzuri gestured between herself and Abarai.

Hisana blinked. “Oh. Er…” She glanced at Byakuya, as if she simply had no idea how his various aunts would react, were her unwed sister to move into their ancestral seat with her emotional support meathead in tow.

“Captain Kuchiki probably forgot to mention it,” Inuzuri announced, regaining some of her former brassiness, “but we’re engaged. To be married.”

Hisana’s face immediately brightened. “Oh! Really? Oh, oh! Congratulations! That’s so wonderful! Byakuya, how could you forget something like that?”

She said ‘forget’, but Byakuya knew quite well what she meant.

“It seemed like the matter was still in debate,” he said vaguely. “I did not wish to be overhasty in reporting news of such gravity.”

Abarai chewed slowly, his eyes darting between Inuzuri and Byakuya.

“Just because we talk about it casually doesn’t mean we aren’t serious about it,” Inuzuri said, leaning forward slightly. “We might even go down to the Registration Office this week, if we can get an afternoon off. Just get it taken care of, you know?”

Abarai picked up his teacup and down the entire thing in one swallow.

“Oh, Rukia, no!” Hisana protested. “Don’t you want a real wedding? If money is an object--”

“There are many other benefits to being a Kuchiki,” Byakuya interrupted before his well-meaning wife made an offer that he would come to regret. “I would have to carefully review your service records, of course, but a transfer to the Sixth Division could likely be arranged. I am sure the Eleventh has its charms, but it does not offer much in the way of career advancement.”

This was a bold ploy on Byakuya’s part, one he had carefully considered beforehand. He certainly did not want these horrifying delinquents under his command, but if their presence in his extended family was to be inevitable, he certainly didn’t need Zaraki’s, as well. Byakuya had to admit that he was slightly intrigued by Aizen’s poorly masked desperation to get Abarai back. They might be unpolished, the pair of them, but you didn’t make a top seat in the Eleventh by being a poor soldier. It was possible that by keeping them close, he might be able to assert some influence, assuming they didn’t just turn him down flat, and possibly curse him out for even suggesting it. At least he could say he had offered.

Instead, they momentarily froze, both of them.

Hisana frowned, her pretty forehead creasing. Byakuya had to admit, he was a bit confused as well.

Abarai recovered first. No, ‘recovered’ wasn’t the right word. Reacted, perhaps. “Aah, ahh, that’s very generous of you, Captain Kuchiki, but we’re real happy at the Eleventh! Career advancement is nice ‘n all, but it’s not for everyone! I mean, we both got nothing but admiration for the Sixth, a real model for the whole Gotei, as they say, but a coupla goons like us--”

“What are you doing?!” Inuzuri hissed at him frantically. “Did you hear what he just said, you moron? For years, since the Academy--”

“You know what, Rukia?” Abarai cut her off. He wasn’t exactly yelling, but his volume controls appeared to have been set too high. “I think you’re really getting ahead of yourself, as always! Trying to cut yourself the best deal, worryin’ about me! I think all this Inuzuri talk has you actin’ like a street rat again.”

Two bright spots appeared on Inuzuri’s cheeks.

“Your long-lost sister went to all this trouble t’find you, maybe you should just take a little time to get to know her before worryin’ about all this what’s gonna happen stuff!” Abarai plunked his cup down on the table and jerked his chin at Byakuya. “Pardon my impertinence, Captain Kuchiki, but maybe you and me oughtta get out of here and give our girls some space to say the things they gotta say to each other.”

Inuzuri’s mouth opened and then closed again.

“Hisana…” Byakuya said slowly, placing his hand on her arm.

“I think that might be a good idea,” Hisana said slowly.

“As you wish,” he replied.

Abarai was glaring sternly at Inuzuri, who was attempting, unsuccessfully, to evade eye contact with him. Finally, she gave off a huffy little sigh. “Fine,” she conceded. “But you better behave yourself. If this is an excuse to try to get Captain Kuchiki to fight you, I will never speak to you again, you hear me?”

“That’s a big, fat lie. You couldn’t go an hour without talking to me.” He tapped one big finger on the edge of her plate. “Eat your wagashi, dummy. They’re too good to waste.”

The only problem with this plan, Byakuya decided as they left the ladies to their conversation, was that now he had to find something to do with Abarai. They should stay nearby, he felt, in case Hisana changed her mind and wished for his return. It was a shame though, because his brain had rather latched onto the idea that Abarai thought himself worthy of crossing blades with the head of the Kuchiki. The young man was large, but he had probably never faced--

“Captain Kuchiki,” Abarai said breathlessly the moment he had shut the door behind them, “with all due respect, you cannot offer us spots at the Sixth.”

Byakuya blinked. “And why not?”

“Because Rukia will make us go.”

“Is there something you find objectionable about my division, Mr. Abarai?” Byakuya asked, frost curling around the edges of his words.

Abarai pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes for a moment and drew in a deep breath. “I am actually a huge fan of your division, sir, and that’s the problem. If you actually did pull our service records, you’d probably notice that I applied there out of the Academy.”

“My division takes very few new graduates,” Byakuya explained. “And those that are accepted are nearly always from families with long histories of Gotei service. I have high standards for my officers, and I am not fond of taking risks. There is no shame in having received a rejection. You have--”

“You misunderstand, sir. I got an offer. I turned it down.”

All the words flew out of Byakuya’s head. “You what?”

“It was my dream to join the Sixth, sir, and I know about your hiring practices. I didn’t really expect to get in. I just applied because… you know, nothing ventured an’ all.”

Byakuya was going to have a conversation with Shirogane the next time he managed to make it to the office. “So why did you reject our offer?”

Abarai appeared to be making a study of the rafters. “School, you see, wasn’t really Rukia’s strong point. She’s an amazing shinigami, even Captain Zaraki thinks so, but that stuff doesn’t always reflect in test scores, y’know? We weren’t real confident she was gonna get into the Gotei at all, to be honest. She was good at kidou, though, and she took the full healing track senior year, so we were pretty optimistic that she’d get an offer from the Fourth, which, as it turned out, she did.”

Byakuya raised one eyebrow, unable to see where this was going.

“We had some friends at school, really smart kids, Kira and Hinamori, who were gung-ho for the Fifth, so we applied there, too, and, well, we got in, all four of us.” Abarai sighed. “Nothing against the Fourth, sir, but it’s nobody’s first choice, y’know? The Fifth seemed like such a good opportunity, but it made Rukia nervous, see? She felt like it must’ve been a mistake or something. She wouldn’t have gone without me, she would have gone to the Fourth. So I… lied… and told her I didn’t get into the Sixth, but it was fine, we would all go to the Fifth together.”

Byakuya narrowed his eyes. “I fail to see what this has to do with present circumstances.”

“Well, suffice it to say, sir, the Fifth didn’t work out so good for us.”

“I spoke with Captain Aizen, actually. He seemed pleased enough with your job performance. I got the distinct impression that he would rehire you on the spot, if you asked him.”

Abarai’s face went stiff. “I would go back to Inuzuri before I would work for that guy for another minute.”

Byakuya found this a rather curious attitude and wanted to ask him more about it, but Abarai was already talking again. The fellow talked more than possibly anyone Byakuya had ever met, including the Eleventh’s oddly beautiful Fifth Seat.

“I’m sure you think the Eleventh is barely controlled chaos, sir, and to be honest, you’d be mostly correct, but some people thrive on chaos, and Rukia is one of ‘em. She’s become the person I always knew she could be. She’s fierce and brilliant and happy. She belongs there.”

“Then why would she wish to transfer?”

“Because she thinks I don’t. She still feels like she made me leave the FIfth, even though I hated it there, too. She always hints that maybe I ought to be training for the Vice-Captain’s exam like Iba, so I can be ready to apply for Lieutenant Shirogane’s spot when he retires, which I give roughly 7 to 10 years from now.”

“Excuse me, what?” Byakuya echoed.

“And obviously, it would be rad as Hell to be your second, you’re definitely the coolest captain and your swordsmanship is legendary, but I’m really just happy to be wherever Rukia is. I don’t want her to feel like she needs to go changing things on my account.”

Abarai appeared to finally be finished and Byakuya took a moment to process all of this. He was not sure anyone had ever unburdened themselves to him in such a fashion before, let alone someone he had met only a few hours ago. Nevertheless, there was something oddly endearing about Abarai. Perhaps it was his general air of utter earnesty, or perhaps it was the fact that Abarai’s entire dilemma revolved around the happiness of a young woman who appeared to have even more in common with Byakuya’s own wife than he had initially suspected.

“You do realize,” Byakuya said, attempting to sound not entirely unsympathetic, “that Miss Inuzuri’s life is about to change quite dramatically, regardless.”

Abarai rubbed the back of his neck glumly. “I guess you’re right.”

What a strange pile of contradictions this young man was! But despite his ostentatious presentation and his utterly bewildering priorities, Byakuya recognized in Abarai a potential ally. “I promised Hisana that we would offer Miss Inuzuri a place with our family, but she is under no obligation to take it,” Byakuya pointed out “We would never wish to disrupt your current felicitous situation.”

Abarai looked torn. “I think she should take the opportunity to try and get to know her sister, though. She’s never had a family before-- well, neither have I-- and I just think… well, it’s important.”

“Of course,” Byakuya agreed. “But I myself have wondered if perhaps the pressure of a public acknowledgement might do more harm than good. That perhaps keeping things… low-profile… at least until things are settled…might be more sensible.”

“Hmm,” said Abarai.

“It is very rare, I think,” Byakuya mused, “to find one’s proper place in Soul Society and to properly appreciate it. So many are fixated on advancement, when contentment is already within their grasp.”

Abarai’s face screwed up and Byakuya realized he must be having a thought. “I’m not sure ‘contentment’ is the thing we got at the Eleventh. Rukia’s challenging Kadokawa for Sixth Seat next week, which means I gotta fight the Hammerhead for Seventh, and that guy is a lot tougher than he looks, which is hard, because he already looks pretty tough.”

Byakuya just stared at him.

“But you’re right, we got a pretty good thing going. I really appreciate you saying that, actually. Ayasegawa said you might be-- well, what I mean is, he was concerned that you might not think much of us, coming from where we do and I’m glad he was wrong.”

Byakuya was beginning to get the feeling that he had made a horrible mistake.

Before he had much time to contemplate this, however, the shoji slid open, and Inuzuri stepped forth, supporting Hisana on her arm.

“Well, you gentlemen didn’t get far!” Hisana laughed.

“We had a good discussion,” Byakuya said, as if this explained anything.

“So did we,” Hisana replied, sounding very pleased. Despite himself, Byakuya couldn’t help feel his heart warm a bit at her happiness. “I’ve promised Rukia a tour of the armory. I don’t suppose you also like old swords, eh, Mr-- er, Renji?”

Abarai’s face positively lit up. “I sure do!”

“Excellent! I hope you’ll come, too, Byakuya, too. I’ll surely embarrass myself if I pretend like I know anything about swords.”

“Of course,” Byakuya agreed, as though he was going to let these two go anywhere near his ancestral weaponry unsupervised. “Have you reached any accords?”

“We also had a good discussion,” Hisana declared. “We have decided to proceed carefully.”

“Ah,” Byakuya replied as he and Abarai fell in step behind the women. “That seems very prudent.”

“Oi, Renji,” Inuzuri barked. “I might’ve invited Hisana and Byakuya over to ours this weekend. I also might’ve talked up your oden. You aren’t gonna make me a liar outta me?”

“Please don’t call me by my-- you’ve what?” Byakuya sputtered.

“I can make oden, no problem!” Abarai declared.

“Thanks, babe. I want to invite Yumichika and Ikkaku over, too. Hisana wants to throw us one of those formal engagement party things, and I thought maybe they could represent your side of the family, but I thought it would be good for everyone to meet first.”

“No,” said Byakuya.

“Aw, yikes, that’s a lot of oden. I might have to ask Hisagi if he can borrow one of his captains’ big cookpots for us. Are all those people gonna fit in our place?”

“It’ll be cozy, but we can make it work!” Inuzuri tipped her head backwards, presumably to look at Abarai, but Byakuya got the distinct impression she was actually looking at him. “After all, we’re family!”

[mach-speed-spin]

Character design analysis: Kai Hiwatari

I’m starting this thing where I analyze character Beyblade designs and how they changed over the seasons. I’m starting with an original series character because Burst is ongoing and characters can return in future seasons (I will do also mfb since it ended)

We start with his season 1 design. From a fashion standpoint, it makes no sense. In the context of Beyblade, it fits right in. Beyblade takes suspension of disbelief and tells you to either roll with it, or just laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Kai’s design is arguably the strangest of the main cast (possibly second to Ray, but that’s debatable)

Working our way from the top down, he has 2 hair colors, bluish grey at the front and dark blue at the back. It’s styled in what I can only describe as half the quintessential shonen hair. The front is improbably spiky and is pretty long. But look at the back

It’s long, but it’s not spiky in the slightest save for it coming together at the back into something which probably has a name, I just don’t know it. Kai manages to give off “rebel” vibes, for lack of a better term, while also looking stylish. That hairstyle needs a lot of effort to keep

Moving on to his facepaint. It’s 4 blue traingles. They change slightly each season but here it looks like someone drew a triangle on a flat surface and it didn’t translate perfectly to the curved surface of a human face. The 2 top triangles are bigger and point horizontally. The bottom 2 are smaller and point diagonally. I don’t know why they were included in Kai’s design to be honest. If they wanted to give him something that made him stand out they could’ve just used the gloves or scarf. Having both plus the facepaint feels a little overblown but again, Beyblade doesn’t half ass anything

Down to his scarf. It’s most iconic appearances were in G-Revolution. Here only one end sticks out, instead of 2 like in G-Rev. It also shows no sign of being weighted. I’ll get more into it when I get to his V-Force and G-Rev designs

That sleeveless top looks terrible. It looks uncofortable and it’s a crime againts fashion. It’s also not something particularly notable about Kai. Really it’s just there so we can see his muscular arms

Speaking of his arms, look at his gloves. My favorite part of his original design, he never uses them after this season. They are implied to be weighted, but are definitely not as heavy as his scarf on G-Rev (more on that later). I love them, and they work with Kai, but Dranzer has minimal red (even though the bit-beast is all red. Go figure). They probably got rid of them because it didn’t match the aesthetic of his bey

His belt buckle looks kinda cool, but it’s not that remarkable

His pants are unreasonably baggy. I get that you’re a beyblade thief but no need to be able to carry 70+ pounds of plastic. Other than that, nothing notable

His shoes feel like a last minute addition as well. I can’t tell what they were going for, and they aren’t good, but you don’t notice that unless you specifically pay attention to his shoes (which are never the focus of any shot)

Kai in V-Force keeps the hairstyle (some slight changes but that’s due to the new animation studio)

His facepaint now consists of 4 traingles all pointing diagonally, instead of 2 poitning horizontally. Again, probably just the studio change

His scarf is gone but looks like he’s wearing a turtleneck? What? This decision genuinely baffled me. The scarf may have had its best moments in G-Rev, but it was still iconic in 2000. Almost as much as his gloves and you wouldn’t remo- oh wait

His top now has these things that go around his arm. I don’t know what they are called but I’m sure others pull off the look better than Kai does here. They kinda look like wings but giving characters wing designs would be executed better in G-Rev

The rest of his top is tight, but better than in season 1 (again, not a major part of his design)

He replaced his solid gloves for arm warmers. I would make fun of this if not for the fact that I want those arm warmers for myself. The red gloves looked better on Kai but those arm warmers would look better on me

He changed his belt buckle, but it’s not too different

Baggy pants now have these weird red parts. I don’t know how they attach

His shoes look normal now

The lack of scarf and weighted gloves is obvious. This means Kai was not wearing weights in V-Force (unless those pants are carrying rocks). Kai also seemed weaker in battles during V-Force and he was much thinner. I don’t know if this was intentional but in-universe it’s likely the consequences of the Russian arc from season 1

This doesn’t seem like much other than Kai in formal attire since he’s not training nor battling, but I still found some things in it

First the tie. It’s not very tidy. Considering Kai’s design implied he cares about his appearance this seems strange. But considering his mental state at the beginning of V-Force it’s not surprising

Second, and most importantly, he wears a single earring on his left ear. He doesn’t wear any earrings in his regular design, no matter the season. This implies that Kai only wears an earring when he’s presenting formally. Why?

Also is that eyeliner?

Kai in G-Revolution is more similar to himself in season 1 than in V-Force. His hair is longer but still kept in the same style

He has eyeliner. I don’t know why but I kinda like it

Look at his facepaint. The triangles are slightly crooked. I guess they were meant to look like bird claws a bit. It’s not bad, just strange when you’re used to straight triangles

His scarf now has both ends sticking out. It’s also weighted. Considering it cracked concrete by being cropped when Kai had his arm extended horizontally, I need someone to do math and tell me how heavy that scarf is.

He has a shirt and a jacket instead of that top he used before. Finally Kai gets sleeves. It’s a cool jacket that looks badass without looking like he was trying too hard

He wears normal (or at least normal in-universe) fingerless gloves.

His belt buckle looks like someone overlayed his season 1 and V-Force buckles into one. Small detail, but considering it’s the final season, it’s nice

Kai wearing kinda baggy pants instead of super baggy pants. I never though I’d see the day

His shoes would be normal if not for the fact that they have these red belts (are they belts?) holding the pants to them. Like all of Kai’s shoes, it’s a minor part of his design that doesn’t really stand out

Overall, Kai’s G-Revolution design is very toned down compared to previous ones. Except for the scarf not being in V-Force, the more iconic parts of it stayed consistent (hair and facepaint). He’s also buff as hell in G-Rev

Kai at the end of the series can be seen wearing this. I couldn’t get a full-body picture but he’s wearing a long coat (reminds me of the Matrix). It’s probably to hide all his wounds. Not much can be said about it other than it looks cool

[captainsspnanon]

C2E39 - Temple of the False Serpent - rewatch

As of me starting this, it has been 20 days since my last C2 reaction.  I have no excuses.  (that is a lie, I have all the excuses, with most of them being I’m burned out as fuck and the world is on fire and I just can’t handle anything anymore including entertainment)  (22 days as of date of posting)

BUT I’M BACK, BAYBEE.  (and holy shit this got long as fuck)

I’ve had this tab sitting open for 20 days, looking at me all accusatory.  And the worst part is that I KNOW I will enjoy watching this (even though I know it’s gonna open with combat), but I just haven’t been able to start.  I’ll only be able to watch an hour or two tonight, but AT LEAST I WILL START.

Matt looks adorable AF this episode, and I feel like it’s 50% the hair

OH GOD THIS IS THE FACEPAINTING SAM BIT

Oh man, this actually was a good idea for him to do I think, I forgot this ad read had a lot of info to get through, so him just reading it while the others goofed off probably made it much more easy for him to get through, rather than to try one of his more complicated bits.

Lol at Matt announcing the wrong AWNP by announcing the one that’s a week ahead XD  They very rarely goof of the actual announcements themselves, it’s fun when they do!

Oh hey, it’s Laura’s one shot ‘next week’!  I’ve seen….half of it?  The first time I tried I stopped while they were still in the classroom, the second time I think I made it to around the chess game….  I can’t say why or why not I can and can’t get through certain one shots.  *shrugs*  I’m not going to try to look for a deeper meaning, they either hold my attention or they don’t.  And honestly?  It’s RARE for me to rewatch a one shot.  I might watch clips from one, but even for ones like Critmas which I really enjoyed, I can’t sit through it a second time, and I’ve tried.   Couldn’t say why.

The 80s intro is fine, but I am looking forwards to the animated intro.  When I first saw it, I told myself I’d never skip it, and then I ended up skipping it most times XD  Haven’t skipped the C3 one because I watch them on twitch on Fridays typically, so it’s not worthwhile to try.  We’ll see if I actually don’t skip the C2 one this time around, or if I will.

Aw, Caleb didn’t get his Slow spell off.  Also, hello wooden mug again!  Is it just for the pirate arc?  Is it a standard Caleb mug?  I swear I don’t remember this!  ...I’m going to have to go back to pre-pirate episodes and see what mug he was using.  (also Liam spit something back into his mug?  Gross)

Okay, spot checking episodes – he was using a darker and smaller mug in the early episodes (3, 11, 22).  In 32, he’s using a tea mug it looks like. 33 is the first episode with the wooden mug, which was also when they were in Nicodranas!  As of 45, he’s back to the mug he was using at the beginning.  Can’t really get a sense for when the switch back happens as I’m not easily seeing the mugs at a glance.  I will honestly be fucking impressed if Liam is using a MUG as part of his RP what the fuck.  (I mean, more likely than not it’s just switching out a mug, but you never know!)

You know, as much as I’m enjoying the C3 PCs (still won’t spoil it here!), I do miss Marisha playing a monk.  In her PC classes, I think this is the one that I enjoy seeing her to the most, even though she clearly enjoyed being a druid and enjoys being a [redacted], which she’s being doing quite well might I add.  Something about monk just seems to fit MARISHA so well.  Eh, it’s probably just C2 bias.

Ah, “Yasha” flirting with Beau through Travis.  Delightful, but completely non-canon, imo.  It’s a bit of in game fanfic.

Travis is FLUSTERED after the nasty attack that took Beau from full to 12.  

Also, whether or not it’s true, I feel like Matt usually doesn’t target Ashley’s PCs as much when she’s not there.  To be fair, Pike was rarely jaegered, but I feel like he’s a bit more reluctant to target them when the player can’t be there for it, which I actually appreciate.

As someone with casual knowledge about the balance of dnd, I feel like hold person and hold monster should be the same.  There are few spells split in that category, if I recall.

I’m very sad that I read a fanfic a few months ago (or at least some of it, I ended up not finishing it ‘cause I wasn’t feeling it) that ended up going through what we’ll be seeing for the next few episodes.  I probably would have remembered next to none of this, but now I know/remember about the fountain and blood trees and the drug fruit and the puzzle and the eggs and the whole hydra bit.  :(  It’s weird, it feels like I got spoiled for something that I already knew?  So hard to explain.

Oh FUCK Caduceus going for a Cure Wounds when the priestess slit her own throat!  Also being intimidating with the Decompose… it’s odd, I don’t remember him being a super intimidating PC?  A lot of his ‘intimidation’ seemed to come from his perception, rather than these subtle threats (‘respectfully, I hope someone will mourn you’ comes to mind).  Either I’m forgetting and I’m going to get to relearn a bunch of bad ass Caduceus, or Taliesin still hadn’t fully sorted his character out yet and softened the intimidation going forwards.  Like, this from Cad seems more like it could come from Caleb, you know?  Just the …. the scary quiet intimidation without really saying anything?  (Fjord’s intimidation is both awesome and hysterical at the same time, he doesn’t go for the quiet level so much).  I wonder if maybe this IS Cad, and I just forgot it because of the fact that basically all the PCs hit intimidation quite a bit, so he got overshadowed?  LEARNING POSSIBLY NEW THINGS ON A REWATCH, YAY!

Ugh I miss this top table SO BAD.  The C3 seating combinations are good, don’t get me wrong!  But I just MISS this top table with all my heart.  And I hate that the pandemic took away a good 40ish episodes of top table. :(

Caleb poking Beau with his foot!  MY HEAAAART

Cad coming up with the idea to shove the arms of the bodies in the holes to plug them feels much more like Cad.  A quite reasonable but also somewhat morbid way of solving things!

Huh, Beau still has the disease.  I thought this was the episode where it got corrected, maybe that’s next episode?

I FORGOT AVANTIKA WASN’T HAVING CURRENT VISIONS!!!  ‘a few years, about’ HOLY FUCK

I’m a little sad we ended up not getting a huge amount of Marisha/Taliesin interaction in C2, especially once Molly kicked it.  They were great in C1, I’m looking forwards to seeing how C3 turns out, and C2 WAS going to have them with a pretty strong relationship clearly, but then it ended up veering away.  But Beau leaning into the horror movie tropes with temples and graves, Cad immediately shutting it down by talking about how grave stacking is in fact common and practical, and Beau just bitterly saying “my parents fucking lied to me” is pure gold.

I’m entertained with how frequently Matt is bringing up Zehir, the Cloaked Serpent in this episode, considering it’s a god from the pantheon that is just so little utilized during the campaigns that I always forget it. What are the gods that are actually in my head?  Sarenrae – the Everlight, Pelor – the Dawnfather, Erathis, which I think is the Changebringer?, Tharizdun – the Chained Oblivion, the Raven Queen (seriously do not like “Matron of Ravens”), Melora – the Wildmother, Kord – the Stormlord, Lolth – the Spider Queen, Ioun – the Knowing Mistress, Bahamut – the Platinum Dragon, whatever Tiamat is called (the Scaled Tyrant, I think?), the Moonweaver, Corellon – the Archeart, I don’t think I can think of any others. That’s 13!  I’m actually impressed with how many I know!  But I think it’s mostly the ‘good’ ones.   But like, Zehir is not on that list at ALL.  Outside of this episode, I don’t think I think of him at all.

Yup, searching the transcripts, he’s only mentioned in 37 BRIEFLY, 38 during Matt’s ‘last time’ summary, and then 39 and briefly in 40 and then NEVER AGAIN.

Ooo, searching the transcripts, AVANDRA is the Changebringer, Erathis is the Lawbearer. There’s the Allhammer as well!  Allhammer is in transcripts 52 times, you’d think I’d have remembered that one! XD

Ah, here is Matt correcting his Lessor Restoration mistake!  I thought this was a chat/social media correction, but it looks like it’s an in game correction.  :)  I do like moments where it’s clear that Matt isn’t infallible.  I feel like part of the internet seems to think he can do no wrong ever (while the other part hates him without or with minimal reason).

Jamedi is way more awesome than I remember him being.  I wonder if he’s a ranger, maybe?

Lolling at Fjord snapping at Nott to not eat the fruit.  We’re just about hitting the turning point of their relationship soon, which I’m looking forwards to.  From the start through now, Fjord’s treated Nott as someone younger, that he almost has responsibility towards.  VERY SOON, in a few episodes I think, the relationship changes to this ball busting mutual bickering.  Honestly, I enjoy both flavors of the relationship, especially because it’s another one where the GROWTH of the relationship is very important to how it ends up.  I feel like the biggest change is around the ‘buttonbeard’ conversation, maybe because that’s when Nott starts lashing back a bit, and that has the dynamic shift.  They walk a fun fine line of actually fighting versus playful bickering in a very different way than the Beau/Caleb relationship.  I think because the affectionate aspect is much more buried and couched in the bickering, whereas Beau and Caleb frequently have sincere moments in addition to their own type of bickering.

Man, seeing the Fjord/Caleb relationship with the knowledge of how the campaign goes actually makes me a little sad?  Because WOW their dynamic is good! Not even the Widofjord aspect of it, but just the mutual respect, combined with the small amount of still not fully trusting but moving into trust (*Caleb pushes Fjord off* “I should have known!” *Caleb casts Feather Fall* “...that you had everything under control”) is so fascinating!  To be fair, they don’t lose the relationship entirely, but it ends up getting overshadowed by the other relationships taking more screen time.  Man, every time I watch C2 it just reminds me why I love C2 so much.  (I cannot WAIT until three years from now when I start doing a C3 rewatch and see all of THAT with hindsight!)  (Honestly?  After I finished C1, I said I’d never really watch it again, but with this, it’s making me wonder if I’d appreciate it more during a rewatch.  I’d already known a ton of spoilers for it, but maybe it’d give me more appreciation?   ...We’ll see how it goes once I finish this rewatch.  I’ve got a LONG ways to go)

Ah, the revelation that Nott is now tripping balls.

Didn’t mention it before, but the lighting is much better this episode.  I no longer feel like Taliesin is less lit than everyone else.

Beau/Marisha being VERY smart and testing if Nott being high would let her see anything special on the walls.  100% not something I would have thought of!

I love that they force Caleb to eat the fruit and Matt confirms immediately after that Nott’s drawings were good enough to read XD

Oh hey!  Blueberry! The literally only time he calls her this!  Oh, actually I think the only time he uses a nickname for Jester ever.  Just checked the transcripts for “Jessie”, and he only calls her that out of character three times, never in character.  (It sucks trying to check nicknames for him, because he calls Beau “Beau” out of character a lot, and I’m not individually checking all 117 times to see if/how many are actually in character.  He says Mr. Clay or equivalent 7 times total, mostly upon first meeting him, “Cad” looks to be always out of character.)  I do love that Vax was nicknaming EVERYONE to the point where at times I was annoyed because it felt forced, and then Caleb nicknames NO ONE AT ALL EVER.  (*waves a sad goodbye to all the schatz and leibling in fanfic*)

Full kudos to Sam “I am trying to cast Teleport.  I do not have Teleport.  I’m trying to cast it anyway”

LOL firebolt or fireball???  I think this is the only time that there’s the confusion, but it’s fun seeing the horror on Matt’s face

THE CAPTIONS SAY (panicky drug trip groan) I LOVE IT

(I was planning on finishing this and posting it today, but my internet started being a butt an hour and a half ago, just around the start of the vine fight. Seriously, it is SO fucking slow right now)

I was going to make a comment about how Cad not immediately healing Nott after combat ended felt REALLY out of character, and then I remembered that he already stabilized Nott and then it made sense.

Oh ffs.  I’ve been reading through the articles on critrolestats in line with the episodes (which I am enjoying a lot!) and can see that the hydra fight is this episode.  1) that means I need to deal with some Liam bullshit this episode (I had issues with the argument with Matt, but at least he acknowledged after the episode that he was in the wrong), and 2) that means there is THREE combats this episode!  Almost the entire episode!  Blaaaagh.   I thought this was spaced over two. Then again, the pirate arc has a lot of combat in it.  ...well, the campaign has a lot of combat it in.  Just sometimes it feels like it flows more smoothly and other times it feels like it overloads.

Hmmm, I wonder if the Fjord/Nott dynamic actually does change this episode, it feels like it’s shifting a little bit.  It’s the snarkiness.

Not particularly a fan of Caduceus taking fruit, mainly because it just seems like all of Taliesin’s PCs want to do drugs.  Percy, Molly, and Cad have all been for altering substances, even if Cad doesn’t drink, and his C3 PC I feel would go for it as well.   And really, if anything, I’d feel like he could have gone to make Cad a fully sober PC.  (to be fair, I don’t think Cad ever actually eats the fruit, but him still taking it feels off.  It fully feels like a taking-drugs-for-later situation, rather than any sort of curiosity about the fruit itself)

I genuinely don’t get how Marisha and Laura (mostly Laura) have dice that go on crazy dice roll journeys.  Maybe it’s just how I roll my dice, but they land on the number really quickly, whereas it seems like Laura’s dice will roll for like 5-10 seconds before landing.  I’d think even if her tray was full of dice, that would make the rolled die stop even sooner!

I don’t mind Avantika, but she certainly doesn’t feel as strong of an antagonist to me as she is plot-wise.  I’m not sure why.  She’s certainly intimidating, but I feel like sometimes it and her bad ass coolness end up feeling … staged, almost?  Presentory, rather than natural? It’s absolutely my own interpretation, and I’m sure I’m MISinterpreting it at times!  I can’t remember how I viewed her during my first watch through.  I know undead!Avantika was awesome. I’m not saying she feels bad by any means!  But instead of rating her like a 9 out of 10, I think I’m rating her more like a 6.5 out of 10.  Maybe it just feels slightly too cliché?  *shrugs*  ...also wtf LibreOffice Writer.  You added the thingy over the ‘e’ in cliché, but you’re also giving the squiggly line that it’s spelled wrong, and suggesting it without the thingy.  Go home, you’re drunk.

“It’s almost like he’s meditating, like I did that ONE time” ILU Beau

FLUFFERNUTTER

FLUFFERNUTTER

FLUFFERNUTTER

Okay, Fjord and Nott arguing over fluffernutter 100% feels like their snarky bickering relationship, so I guess this is the shift. I LOVE IT.  Also, Travis calling Tal “Molly”.  It’s episode 39.  It’s been...10ish weeks since you’ve been playing with Cad.  I feel like that should have been long enough to prevent flubs.  XD

Jester succeeded in Inflict Wounds!!!!  That almost never happens XD  Also I love that she’s thinking of Vex being able to use the assassinate ability. You are not a Rogue/Ranger anymore, my dear.

I still feel like the shuriken should be allowed to be flavored daggers rather than flavored darts.  Matt could have increased the cost for them accordingly.

Hydra comes out and Sam shouts “that’s the biggest thing I’ve ever seen!”  Just like my first watch through where I took his comment about not knowing how to use spells seriously and then found out he was full of it after watching C1, I took this seriously during my first watch through, and now I KNOW he’s full of it.  The kracken?  Fucking THORDAK?  Get outta here

...screw it.  I’m not feeling like more combat today.  WILL WATCH THE LAST HOUR AND HALF TOMORROW.

Sometimes I appreciate Tal’s rules lawyering and other times I don’t. They’re debating whether or not Jester would have cast her 3rd level if she couldn’t have moved her duplicate, but it’s a situation where it’s already been a full round of actions and it’s back to her turn, and they wouldn’t be debating it if she had succeeded in the Inflict Wounds.  I like it when Matt likes them fix mistakes within a round, but after the round, let it lie no matter what.  Matt does it all the time for the enemies, or lets a moment go through that technically shouldn’t have from the PCs.

They do actually have fluffernutter work at some point, don’t they?  Ugh, search the transcripts doesn’t show at a glance which ones (if any) actually worked.  Looking at damage or rolls on critrolestats doesn’t seem to show.  The wiki says it succeeds once (probably next episode) when they’re running away, shows the creation of more, but doesn’t say if they’re actually used.  Transcripts says one is used against Trent, I feel like that one worked?  Hard to tell looking at the wiki.

Speaking of rules lawyering, I noticed no one remembered that Beau should have been stunned for a round because Caleb dropped Haste.  (not really bothered by this – stuff like this happens all the time,  but considering the multiple arguments/debates that happen during this combat, just a note that they don’t worry about the one that would impact them negatively)

Ah, the Slow debacle.  Aka – Liam  99.9% in the wrong.

1- Caleb casts Slow, does not specify targets.  So far so good, though specification would have solved the whole issue.  However, by saying that he does the ‘same thing again’, it’s implied to target both.  2- Matt rolls for the abomination.  The 0.1% that I can say is Matt in the wrong is that Matt rolls the d20 and then says “for the abomination”, then adds Bane, remembers it doesn’t have Bane.  Now, Matt rolled for the abomination first the first time as well, so I do believe that he always intended it.  But one could maybe argue that he rolled low and therefore called it for the abomination rather than the hydra.  3- Liam does not say anything, meaning he is fine with the abomination getting Slowed.  4- Matt succeeds with the hydra.  5- Liam now argues that he only targeted the hydra because the abomination was already Slowed.

No Liam.  No.  If you only would have targeted the hydra, you should have spoken up AS SOON as Matt said he was rolling for the abomination.  It wasn’t super quick either!  He rolls, says it’s for the abomination, rolls Bane, says ‘no the abomination isn’t Baned’, and then says 12. Then he rolls for the hydra, laughs, and says the hydra got a nat 20. THAT’S when you started fighting.  This was very much an argument where Liam just wanted to succeed, and was stretching/bending/breaking rules to try to get it.  I was not happy with him first time around, and am still not happy with him now. ��To be fair, I don’t think he’s necessarily lying about his intentions, but I think he just needed to accept that he failed.   And he did at first!  He brought up the comment, got shut down, and agreed.  Had it ended there, I would have been fine.  It would have been a normal level of back and forth which they always do.  But then he just goes back INTO it.  Especially because he even brings up the fact that it would go with Matt’s initial dice roll of 12!  Which I STILL disagree with, because that was the roll for the abomination! (A little nasty part of me wishes that Matt said “Sure.  The hydra rolled a nat 20, and now the abomination isn’t Slowed either because you didn’t target it”.)

Luckily, after the episode aired, Liam did either tweet or post on reddit (I forget which, I only saw it way later), that he was completely in the wrong but was caught up in the heat of the moment.  Doesn’t make this easier to watch, but at least he fully acknowledges it.

...huh.  Actually, you know what does make this easier to watch?  The fact that it’s actually way shorter than I remember it being.  Maybe the first time I saw it I was so uncomfortable with it that it felt like it lasted forever, but it’s over and done now.  With only a bit of back and forth.   Like, Liam was still in the wrong, but it’s definitely not as bullshitty long ‘fighting with the DM’ as I remember. Sometimes trainwrecks are only fender benders.

I forgot how many of their attacks missed!!  AAAAGH!!!  They are lucky that no one died, omg!

(also Liam’s back in good mood, joking about getting his own hydra mini and throwing it in the neighbors yard.  Memory really did make the argument worse than it actually was)

I do love that the hydra fight ends up making it into the animated intro.  It’s just so fucking badass.

Have I mentioned how much I miss them pulling out the camera and us seeing the table back overview at the end of the episodes?  Only like 100 times. But I will keep mentioning it, I miss it so much.

I WILL TRY NOT TO LET ANOTHER 20 DAYS PASS BEFORE MY NEXT EPISODE!

@suicidallyreckless

[chaptersinprogress]

diamonds are forever

“Great,” Tsuna whimpered. “Can I have my car back now?”

aka Tsuna just wanted one hour, just ONE, of uninterrupted sleep.

Rating: T

Pairings: Sawada Tsunayoshi & Skull

Warnings: 007-levels of car chases, violence & swearing

Prompt: @khrrarepairweek 2021 day 2 | accidental kidnapping

Tsuna prided himself on being able to sleep anywhere, everywhere, and through any thing.

Standing up in a train, during a Michael Bay movie at the cinema, and once, through an actual earthquake!

(It was a minor one and admittedly not the smartest thing in world, but in his humble opinion, he'd rather die unaware in his sleep than awake and terrified.)

Basically, Tsuna very much valued his shut-eye.

So when he had to pull 2 consecutive all-nighters for finals week submissions - not sleeping for almost 60 hours straight - the first thing he did after the last paper was march off to his car parked right outside the campus hall, and pass out in the backseat.

It was the perfect plan: nap for a while in the back, then once he'd recovered more functionality and brain power, drive home and sleep properly in his bed.

He had even prepared a blanket and pillow for the occasion!

Eyes sliding shut as he bundled himself up, Tsuna mentally patted himself on his back for his foresight. Then with a sigh, happily tipped himself into the waiting arms of Morpheus.

All was well in the world.

Until a body crashed through the front passenger-side window.

Tsuna jackknifed up with a shriek to accompany the blaring car alarm; the vehicle rocking heavily as the person who landed inside scrambled around the front, swearing loudly.

"Fucking, fuck fuck, where are the keys?!" the person yelled, strapping himself into the driver's seat and frantically rummaging through the compartments. "Got them!"

Slamming the keys into the ignition, he gunned the engine and the car raced forward with a squeal of tires, leaving behind a thin trail of exhaust.

Barely catching on to what was happening, Tsuna opened his mouth to yell at the person who was stealing his car. And instead let out another shriek when bullets exploded through the rear window and shredded the unused headrest beside him.

The sound of glass shattering along with the roar of his poor second-hand purchase's engine that the car-thief was pushing like a fucking NASCAR drowned out his opera audition. Then a sharp turn threw him off the seat and onto the floor with a yelp, entangled in his blanket and pillow.

"Fucking fuck, fuckity fuck," the car-thief chanted as he spun the car in dizzying circles, swerving through narrow lanes and along hairpin turns.

Tsuna dug his fingernails into the leather beside him and hung on. Lifting himself up slightly, he got ready to give his unasked-for chauffer a piece of his mind.

But the bullets smashing through glass and the metal body of the car had him ducking back down, whimpering in fear.

The whole thing was like a terrifying roller-coaster of a nightmare!

'Please let it be a nightmare', Tsuna wished fervently. At least he would get to wake up, instead of being shot full of holes or turning into paste when the car crashed!

A horn blared, tires screeched and he was unceremoniously thrown forward as his commandeered vehicle drifted wildly. Pulse pounding in his ears, Tsuna faintly registered the enthusiastic yelling coming from the front.

Then all the noise died down into a pleasant silence.

"Wait, did I lose them?" the person spoke aloud. "Holy shit, I think I lost them!"

Tsuna (metaphorically) hit the roof. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR!" he shrieked.

The person screamed and slammed the brakes. Tsuna's head banged harshly against the back of the driver's seat.

Groaning, the undergraduate cradled his head in his hands. He already was having a headache from the lack of sleep and being unceremoniously woken up; the impact with the car seat was doing him no favours.

The driver twisted around to peer into the back. "Oh my god," he muttered. "Who are you?!"

Tsuna squinted angrily at the figure. "Who am I?" he said incredulously. "I should be asking you that! Who the fuck are you?! You tried to steal my car!"

"Oh my god, did I just accidentally kidnap someone?" the person asked himself. "Holy fucking shit, I did! Oh my god, I accidentally kidnapped someone!"

Tsuna's vision finally cleared enough for him to properly see the asshole who'd stolen his car with him still inside it. And his jaw promptly dropped.

'112, a clown has escaped the circus' he though hysterically. 'He's in my car. Which has been through an action movie car chase and shot full of holes, courtesy of said clown. Please come and collect.'

"Hey kid, are you ok?!" the aforementioned clown asked frantically. "Are you hurt? Do you need me to call the ambulance?"

Tsuna couldn't help but shoot him a truly withering look. "I'm fine. No thanks to you. And I'm not a kid, I'm 22 for fuck’s sake."

He could see why the guy would think otherwise though. Tsuna looked positively baby-faced compared to the whole multiple facial piercings, bright purple spikey hair, make-up, motorcycle suit and weird (facepaint? tattoo?) teardrop thing the other had going on.

"Oh," said the driver, clearly surprised. Then he puffed up slightly. "I'm 26. The name's Skull. Also known as the Immortal Stuntman, Hated by Death Itself."

"Delighted," Tsuna replied, sarcasm dripping from the word. "Now about my car-"

The rear windshield was taken out entirely by a spray of bullets that had both the occupants ducking and yelling in surprise.

"Let's discuss that later!" Skull shouted as he floored the accelerator.

And Tsuna once again found himself an unwilling participant in a high-speed, high-stakes car chase.

"Get onto the seats and buckle up!" Skull ordered as they left the town behind and raced along narrower and narrower mountain roads.

Swearing like a sailor, Tsuna did as he was told, flinching as bullets pinged off the rock face, and clinging onto the seats for dear life. Then smothered a fearful yell when the sound of a vehicle crashing through the guardrail came from behind them.

Skull shot Tsuna a fierce grin through the rearview mirror, more teeth than smile. "Hang in there kid, we're almost at the finish line."

Taking another turn at break-neck speed, Skull twisted around with a pistol in hand and shot twice out of the back, then resumed driving. All within a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment.

The front tires of the final car chasing them exploded and the vehicle fish-tailed wildly, smashing into the side of the mountain with a sickening crunch before rolling off the side of the cliff.

The stuntman whooped loudly as they continued speeding down the road. “And we’re home-free!”

“Great,” Tsuna whimpered. “Can I have my car back now?”

[f0xfordcomma]

re:union (kataang week 2021) DAY SEVEN

prompt: the sea and the sky

re:union

chapter seven: reunions

rating: T

words: 2529

summary: "He had fought hard for this unity. Had spent countless hours in courtrooms and offices arguing with dignitaries and representatives about the benefits of a United Republic. He had spent long nights drafting up documents and looking over contracts. He had dreamed of finally seeing this day, finally seeing this unity. All he could see tonight though, was a yellow flower drifting around the crowded room on an intricately braided head of ochre hair."

read it on ao3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

chapter seven: reunions

By the time Aang had handled Councilman Zhu’s dumpling crisis, he had lost track of Katara.

“She went to get changed for the feast,” a familiar, though deeper than he remembered, voice sounded from behind him.

“Sokka!”

“Hey buddy! It’s good to see you.”

They squeezed each other in a bone-crushing hug. The first one, Aang realized, he had gotten since his return. Aang held on a little harder at the thought.

“Where’s Suki?”

“Getting ready with the rest of the warriors. They are playing a special part in the performance tonight.”

“Wow! I can’t wait to see that!”

“Heh—yeah, me too.” Sokka’s voice went somewhere dreamy. “But, uh, I think it’ll be hard to watch with your head buried in my shoulder like this…”

“Oh right! Sorry… just happy to see you.”

“I missed you too buddy.” Sokka squeezed Aang’s shoulder reassuringly. “Now, you should go get ready! Can’t have the guest of honor stinking up the place tonight.”

“Guest of honor…” Aang grumbled, rolling his eyes in exasperation at Zhu’s exuberance. Still, he broke away from Sokka, giving him a nod as he made his way towards the room’s egress.

“Oh, and Aang?” called Sokka from near the food tables where he was stealing an hor’s d'oeuvre from under a cloche. “She’s not seeing anybody, in case you were wondering.”

Aang stopped still, his ears burned, his head swam. He hadn’t realized how much the question was plaguing him until he had heard it vocalized. She’s still single. There’s still time. He had let her go once, had regretted it every day since. She’s still single. He had no idea if she still wanted him the way he wanted her. But she’s still single. He resolved to try and change that fact by the end of the night.

He opened his mouth to speak but only a low whine came out. He cleared his throat but ended up coughing around the words as he forced them out. “I—is that… is that so?”

“It is.” Sokka snorted.

“That’s uh… thanks Sokka!” Aang shouted in salutation as he rushed out the door, needing to hide his burning blush and, as everyone had insisted, finally get cleaned up.

⬭

He wore a new set of robes. The pants dyed a dark amber with northern saffron. The belt and sash a sunny terra-cotta color that complimented the blue of his tattoos.

He surveyed his face in the mirror, taking in the scruff along his jawline, the tan around his temples, the laugh lines near his lips. He hadn’t spent much time looking at himself over the past few years, hadn’t had a mirror at any of the temples. The only time he would look at his reflection was when shaving his head, and even then, the refraction of the water made it difficult to examine his countenance with any detail.

Aang had never much minded the way that he looked--hadn’t had much use for vanity when living with the monks, hadn’t had much time for insecurity when running from the fire nation, hadn’t had much need for self-consciousness when being loved by Katara--he’d always thought his face was friendly enough, his body was strong enough. Something about looking at himself now though, fully a man, strong and steady and serene in a way that he’d never seen himself before, made his chest swell with confidence.

“I look good, huh buddy?” He directed the question to Momo, who had joined him in his room after an afternoon spent swooping around Cranefish City in search, no doubt, of sweets from strangers.

In reply, the lemur flew over to perch on his shoulder, scratching through the stubble on Aang’s chin with a squawk.

“You really think she’ll like it?” He scratched Momo between the ears and produced a plum from the pocket of his pants.

Momo took the fruit eagerly between his paws and greedily gobbled it down.

“Aw buddy, you flatter me.”

“Well babe,” a feminine voice dripping with thinly veiled amusement sounded from behind him, “it looks like we’ve officially lost him.”

“You’d think so, but he’s been talking to the lemur like that for as long as I’ve known him.”

“So what you’re telling me is, he has always been insane?”

“Pretty much.”

Aang’s face was beet red (he had lost count, at this point, as to how many times this had happened today) as he spun on his heel to face the Firelord and Firelady, who were standing in his doorway in their formal robes and appraising him with mirth-filled expressions.

“Uh, hey guys… how, uh… how long have you been standing there?”

“Oh, long enough, hot stuff.” Mai shot him a wry smile with a raised eyebrow before turning and pecking her husband on the cheek quickly as she took her leave. “I’m going to go make sure the kids are ready. We leave in ten, boys.”

Once Mai was out of earshot, Zuko burst into laughter and walked over to throw an arm around Aang. “Anything you want to talk about there, Aang?”

“Yeah! Why is it that I don’t see any of you for three whole years, and the first thing anyone does is tease me.”

“That’s not true! The first thing I did was put you on babysitting duty.”

“You’re not funny, Zuko.”

“Hey! Now who’s teasing whom?”

Aang scowled. Zuko, trying to school his face into a slightly more serious expression, straightened up and stalked a few paces across the small room.

“I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice because Uncle isn’t here to do it for me.” Zuko pantomimed stroking his beard and affected a strong accent that, ultimately, sounded nothing like Iroh. “Follow your heart.”

“Follow my heart? That’s it? No tea metaphors? No floral imagery? You make a pretty rotten Iroh, Zuko.”

“Hey, I tried.” Zuko shrugged. “I don’t know, man. You’re still in love with Katara, right?”

Aang flushed but nodded his head, eyes fixed on the floor.

“Are you going to do something about it?”

Aang met Zuko’s eyes determinedly and nodded again.

“Good. You’d better.”

“Thanks Zuko.”

“Any time. By the way? I agree with Momo, the beard really suits you.” At that, Zuko strode out of the room, chuckling softly to himself.

⬭

“So, Sugar Queen,” Toph plopped herself on Katara’s bed with a huff, swinging her bare feet up to rest on the adjacent wall so she could still feel what was happening. “You seemed pretty cozy with our Prodigal Son back there. Locked that down yet?”

“Toph!” Katara spluttered, pulling her paintbrush away from her lips.

“That’s a no, then?”

“Wha--no, not a… he just got back! And I don’t even know if… it’s none of your business, anyway.”

“Right, right. So you guys haven’t talked about your feelings, like, at all, yet? What the heck was all that flirting on the beach then?”

“What flirting? We were just hanging out. As friends! Being friendly! We were friends before we were ever anything else, Toph. You know that!”

“Uh huh, uh huh. Good point, Katara. Your definition of ‘friendly’ has always been a little bit off when it comes to Aang…”

“Toph! I will kick you out.”

“No, you won’t. Want to know why?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway.”

“You know me so well, Sweetness. And you aren’t going to kick me out because I know you very well and if I’m not here in, oh, seven minutes when you inevitably start second guessing yourself, to give you one of my patented Toph Beifong pep talks, you are going to freak out.”

Katara grumbled something crass under her breath and scowled at Toph’s reflection in the mirror, but ultimately, she knew her friend was right, so she obliged the company while she finished putting on her makeup.

Katara rarely wore makeup. It hadn’t really been a custom among the women in the Southern Water Tribe growing up, and during the war there hadn’t been time to worry over such trivialities. Afterwards, though, she had been the victim of many a makeover by Ty Lee. Had been the guest at many formal galas that required a bit of dressing up. Had been gifted a set of Kyoshi warrior paints by Suki. Had spent an afternoon wandering around the market in Caldera hunting down the exact right shade of lipstick with Mai and learning everything that she could possibly hope to know about knife maintenance.

Aang had always gotten incredibly flustered around her when she wore makeup. That was, perhaps, her favorite part of the process.

It had been years since she had put any makeup on her face. Her face was different now. Her eyes crinkled a bit at the corners when she smiled, her cheeks were less plump, more defined, her lips were fuller—perhaps the lipstick made her lips look too full? Perhaps it wasn’t the same color that she had used that one night in Omashu when Aang had ended up wearing more of it than she had? Perhaps she should wear something pinker? Redder? What had Mai said about skin undertones?

“You look fine.”

“You really think so, Toph?”

“No idea.” Toph deadpanned. “But I’m sure that even if you look like an armadillo-hog, Aang will still forget his own name when he sees you. That is your goal with the facepaint, right?”

“Uh…”

“Of course it is, don’t try to lie to me, Sweetness. Listen, I know two things: that boy’s heartbeat has always only ever been impacted by you, and a lot of other men have also had hammering heartbeats when they talk to you. Wanna know what that tells me? You ain’t ugly. In fact, I assume you’re pretty hot. So, chin up, shoulders back, let’s go get you your man back.”

Katara spluttered and blushed. “Oh… uh, okay.”

“You don’t sound confident yet. You are still in love with him, right?”

“Yes.” She whispered.

“Obviously. Then get your pretty little butt out of here and go do something about it. Chop chop, girly!” Toph, still laying on Katara’s bed, started snapping at her while she squared her shoulders in the mirror and gave herself one more once over, nodding at her reflection and resolving to talk to Aang as soon as she had the chance.

“Right. Okay. I can do this. Thank you, Toph.”

“That’s the spirit.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

“Eh, yeah… I told Yugi to meet me here so we can head over together. Or wait… was it Satoru? Toklo? I don’t know, some guy is picking me up. Can’t show up to a stuffy formal function without someone to talk to all the boring people for me, now can I?”

“You do know all of your friends are going to be there tonight, right?”

“I said what I said.”

Katara rolled her eyes as she hurried past Toph and prepared to leave. “Whatever, just lock up when you leave, okay? Mrs. Shao is out tonight so I’m the last one in the house.”

⬭

The ballroom was lavishly decorated. The colors of all four nations draped around the room in every detail. Tapestries hung on the walls with the new seal of Republic City, flanked on either side by the insignias of the four nations. The tables were lined with dishes from across the world. The floral arrangements featured regional blooms from all over. In a ballroom in a government building in a sleepy corner of the Earth Kingdom continent, the entire world was united in one beautiful display.

He had fought hard for this unity. Had spent countless hours in courtrooms and offices arguing with dignitaries and representatives about the benefits of a United Republic. He had spent long nights drafting up documents and looking over contracts. He had dreamed of finally seeing this day, finally seeing this unity. All he could see tonight though, was a yellow flower drifting around the crowded room on an intricately braided head of ochre hair.

From his seat onstage next to Zuko, he watched her make her way around the room hugging and smiling and laughing and chatting. Her sleeveless blue dress was modern but carried traditional nods to her water tribe roots. Her lips were a dark cherry red. Her hair was braided. He had braided it. A yellow flower sat at her crown and winked sunshine at him whenever she turned her head. She was beautiful. Of course, he already knew that. But she was beautiful.

“Aang? Hello… Aang??”

“Huh, what?” Aang was drawn from his stupor when Zuko nudged him with his elbow.

“You’re up.”

“Oh.”

Zhu introduced him. He somehow made a speech. There was roaring applause.  Her eyes were blue, her lips were red, the flower was yellow. She was blushing.

He took his seat next to Zuko. Her eyes were blue . There were performances. Her lips were red . Suki shot finger guns at him in greeting as she and her warriors took the stage. The flower was yellow. Music started up and the gathered crowd dispersed to make way for dancing. She was blushing.

“Excuse me.” He rushed off-stage and into the crowd, chasing a glimpse of yellow in ochre, a swish of blue chiffon. She was pushing her way through the crowd, too. Her eyes were blue. “Katara, I--”

“Dance with me?”

She was offering him a hand. The tsungi horn rang out a familiar song. He took it. “Of course.”

They knew this dance by muscle memory. It was as familiar as their own names, as each other’s name. He flew around her in swirls. She swam around him on waves. They were the sea and the sky and there could not be one without the other. He lifted her, she spun around him. He dipped her, she glowed. She was the sun and he was the moon. She illuminated his sky. He compelled her tides.

The music ended. They were breathing heavy, faces inches apart, hearts still hammering the now silent drum beat.

“Can we go somewhere?”

⬭

The sound of the party flooded the streets of Republic City. Everyone seemed in good spirits, bustling about in a dance as they went about their evening errands. The cicada-crickets sang along to the Tsungi horn. The air was hot, heavy with humidity. They watched the waves from a rooftop. Their hands were intertwined.

Out across the bay, the sea and the sky collided in a canvas of colors. The green and yellow and red and orange of twilight reflected on the water’s dusky blue blue blue. The colors blurred together, obscuring the horizon line, obscuring the separation between their two elements. Out here, there was no sea, no sky. No air, no water. No Aang, no Katara. Just them. Just together. Just finally.

They made promises to each other. They held on. They did not let go.

“Sweetie?”

“Hmm?”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

He had to lean every so slightly down to kiss her.

Her hands in his hands.

Blue. Grey.

Sea. Sky.

Their city had a new name.

They were here.

They were home.

⬭

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It's done! It's done!

So sorry for the delay in posting this! I could've squeezed it out yesterday but didn't feel like doing so would wrap up all the things the way that I wanted to so I needed to take a bit more time on it and, obviously, this chapter grew to be quite a bit larger than the others.

I have had SO MUCH FUN participating in Kataang week this year and hope to do it again next year maybe? Also I /might/ have a little storm brewing for Maiko week so... be on the lookout for that at some point?

The love and support that I've gotten for this fic this week? OH MY GOD like wow it's been so lovely! Thank you all for reading.

And a million thanks to @foxy-knowledgeseeker for being an absolute angel and beta-ing this sucker for me. I'm gonna apologize for my choas just once more. (Sorry! Thank you!)

Bwah! Okay, time for a nap <3

@kataang-week

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

chapter six

[avid-author-activist]

hozier songs as oddly specific moments (1)

in a week: you stand by a worn wooden fence in a field, its posts crumbling under your touch. rain-swollen clouds move overhead like a timelapse. there is an apple tree over your head, and the ground is covered in overripe fruit and loose flower petals. you reach up and grasp the lowest branch with your fingers. a lone honeybee buzzes by your right shoulder.

angel of small death: hazy smoke obscures flickering red neon lighting. you hear the clink of billard balls in the background. your barstool squeaks as you order a shot for the pretty girl beside you, and she returns your slow smile. when you kiss her, she tastes like tequila. 

from eden: you see your reflection in the dark subway window, but you can’t meet your own gaze. the train slows down, and everyone in the car sways slightly, strangers brought together for a moment by the same inertia. across from you is a woman wearing wire-framed glasses, wisps of dark hair escaping her beanie. she doesn’t look up at you, but you can’t tear your gaze away as she gets off the train. you look until she is swallowed by the swarming crowds. 

work song: it starts drizzling in the late afternoon. you don’t have an umbrella, but you continue your slow walk home anyway. the sidewalks are empty but for a tabby cat, its luminous gaze lingering on your back. your fingers are so numb you can barely unlock the door to your apartment. your partner opens their mouth to admonish you for your muddy boots, but they see your chattering teeth and drop the spatula they’re holding to guide you to the bathroom. they kiss a water droplet off your temple as they slide your wet clothes off, gentle like summer rain.

like real people do: a pretty girl smiles at you when you’re assigned as lab partners on the first day of school, and something leaps in your chest. when she compliments your shoes, you flush bright red. two weeks later, you find the courage to buy her a carnation for homecoming. her eyes widen. I’m sorry, I can’t go, she says, but she posts the pictures on her instagram anyway, pinning a corsage to a boy’s lapel. she requests a different lab partner the next day. 

in a week: you take a gap year before college and head west, you and your friend taking turns at the wheel of your beat-up van. the sky is so vast out here, the earth unending. hours out from the nearest town, you spread out a picnic blanket and trace the constellations into the night, curled around one another for body heat, beholden to no one but yourselves. you could sink into the wide prairies and be none the wiser. 

someone new: you are at pride for the first time, watching every color of the rainbow snap in the wind, backlit by golden sun. a woman sees your facepaint and offers you a button to match, and her crooked smile beams with love as she pins it to your shirt. you scream your throat hoarse with a thousand other people you’ve never met, but during the hours you walk the same streets in the same shoes, they are not strangers to you. 

[theclockworkmonk]

Cultural Exchange

Written for @kataang-week

Day 2: Blending Cultures

Words: 2,009

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

Summary: Katara has some selfish reasons for encouraging Aang to explore Fire Nation culture.

*******

Katara was starting to get worried as she walked up to Zuko's old family house on Ember Island. The outdoor furniture was smashed and splintered, and the door was ajar, hanging off its hinges. She sped up, beginning to panic, and ran up the stairs onto the porch.

She threw the door all the way open forcefully. "Hello!? Aang?"

She was greeted by a chorus of pained male groans.

"Close the door!" Haru wailed, shielding his eyes from the bright morning light that was now flooding the front room of the house. All the other young men, basically every male friend their group had made since leaving the South Pole, gave similar cries of distress from where they were strewn haphazardly across sofas and armchairs.

Katara sighed in relief, but then grew annoyed at the boys for scaring her. Instead of closing the door, she moved to the windows and threw all the curtains open.

"You're evil!" moaned Te'o from the floor, where he had fallen out of his chair.

"What exactly happened to those plans for a laid back, calm bachelor party?" Katara asked the room harshly, "How did it go? 'Oh don't worry, Katara, Zuko's not one to throw wild parties!'"

"Uggghhh, I"m not, but I'm friends with a lot of bad influences," came a weak voice from under a coffee table.

Katara laughed at the sight of the soon-to-be-married Firelord crawling out from under the table, looking like he had been put through a dozen successive Agni Kais. But her laughter died and she gasped when she saw what was on Zuko's head.

"Zuko, what happened!?"

"What does it look like? Your brother got us drunk."

"No, I mean what happened to your hair!"

Katara bent all the water from a nearby vase and froze it into a flat, shiny mirror, and held it up to Zuko's face. His eyes widened in horror and he leapt to his feet, upending the table.

All of his hair had been reduced to a narrow strip down the center of his head. That hair had been left long, and was tied back, but both sides of it had been shaved down to his scalp.

He recognized this look. It was exactly the way Sokka had his hair when Zuko had first encountered him.

"Aw Zuko, I'm touched!" crooned Katara dramatically. "Showing your support for rebuilding Southern Tribe culture by sporting a warrior's wolf tail!"

Zuko stared in disbelief at his reflection. He raised his shaking hands to the sides of his face.

"I look like I stuck my head between two grinding stones," Zuko muttered.

"Oh, don't say that, I'm sure once the Firelord is seen sporting this hairdo at his wedding, it will be all the rage across the Fire Nation," said Katara with a grin.

Zuko buried his face in his hands. "Oh, spirits, the wedding! Mai's going to kill me."

Katara was about to agree, but was interrupted by a scream of anguish and horror coming from the bathroom.

Katara and Zuko both bolted across the room and down the hall. She whipped out her bending pouch, ready to slice the door open, but lucky it was still unlocked. She kicked the door open and her blood froze in fear again as she saw Sokka doubled over, his face buried in the sink and his hands over his head.

"Sokka, what's wrong!?" asked Katara urgently, placing her hands on her brother's back. "Are you hurt—oh…."

She jumped back and gasped when Sokka turned to face her, his lip quivering.

He was completely bald, with a crude painted blue arrow leading from the back of his head, ending between his eyebrows.

Katara's chuckle at Zuko's expense was nothing compared to the explosion of laughter that erupted out of her now. She had to put a hand on the wall to steady herself as she shook until she was out of breath.

"Well, it was just a regular festival of cultural exchange last night, wasn't it?" she squeaked out.

"This isn't funny, Katara!" said Sokka desperately. "You don't understand, it's not coming off! It's real! And my hair! Next time I visit home, my brain is gonna freeze!"

"Oh, calm down," she said dismissively. She grabbed her brother's cheeks and pulled him down to inspect his new body art. "There's no inflammation on the skin, it's not a real tattoo. You just found some...wow, really durable face paint."

She looked him in the eye suspiciously. "Where did you get this stuff?"

"Uuuuhhh," said Sokka uncertainly. He turned to Zuko. "Where did we get this stuff?"

"Uuuuhhh," Zuko concurred.

Katara rolled her eyes. "Seriously? You don't even remember last night?"

"I can remember most of it," said Zuko defensively. "Things just get a little fuzzy after that bottle of moonpeachshine got opened. He was the one who brought that, so really this is all his fault."

"Hey, I don't remember tying you up and forcing the stuff down your throat, Lord Lots o' Shots," replied Sokka.

"Where's Aang?" Katara suddenly said, her grin wiped from her face.

For a moment, they just looked at each other in silence, then ran through the house again.

After searching the whole house and not finding Aang, Katara was beginning to panic again. But when she checked the back garden, she found Appa there sleeping soundly. A lumpy mass was sitting on the bison's head: a human body, the top half covered by a blanket, but long legs protruded from underneath, with blue arrows ending at the feet.

"Aang!" Katara called as she ran towards him, and thankfully the tattooed feet stirred. Aang slowly sat up, squeezing his eyes shut at the sunlight as the blanket fell from his face.

"Oh come on!" Katara sighed in relief. "You too?"

"What?" he mumbled, getting his bearings. He reached up to scratch his head, and discovered what was itching him.

Aang was wearing a wig. Avatar Aang, the mightiest being in the world, was hungover with a lopsided wig of black hair glued to his head. The foreign hair was pulled back into a knot that was contained by what Katara recognized as Avatar Roku's old hairpin.

Aang reached up and felt the hairpin, and winced. "Oh Spirits, I had hoped that was a dream."

"So you actually remember what happened?" asked Zuko, joining them outside along with Sokka, who had put a hat on to avoid getting sunburned.

"Well last night, Sokka got excited by this idea of me wearing Roku's hairpin at the wedding, as a sign of the Fire Nation's commitment to the Avatar and the balance of the world. I wasn't as intoxicated as he was, so I pointed out to him that one needs hair in order to wear a hairpin crown."

"Oh yeah!" said Sokka, remembering now, "Seems like a short sighted fashion decision."

"It's not short-sighted, that's the point," said Zuko irritably, "When royals or generals suffer a great defeat, they cut their hair off. The crowns of the Fire Lord and Prince are designed so that you can't wear them unless you've gone long enough without a defeat to have enough hair to wear it."

"Yeah, you said all this last night," said Aang. "Then Sokka suggested that I could borrow some hair, and we asked who would have extra hair to borrow, and that's how we ended up partying with the—"

"The Ember Island Players," Zuko finished in horror. "Oh, kill me now, this is going to be the subject of their worst play yet."

"I certainly hope so," said Katara. "I'll be there opening night."

"The wig and the facepaint….seemed like a good idea at the time," finished Aang painfully.

"Well if this stuff doesn't come off my face soon, then the Firelord is going to have to have them interrogated about how they undo it," said Sokka.

"Oh I will?" asked Zuko, raising his eyebrow. "The way I see it, I just have a bad haircut, I didn't put any crap on my head, so you can go begging for them on your own."

"It is not a bad haircut!" said Sokka angrily. "You're now the best looking guy here, saving my dignity is the least you can do."

"I might need help getting this thing off me too," mumbled Aang, futilely pulling at the wig. "And we should probably put this back in a safe spot."

He detached Roku's hairpin crown from his knot, and Katara gasped as his hair (that wasn't actually his hair) fell from it.

The messy black hair fell to the base of his neck, covering his ears and hanging in bangs over his forehead, partially obscuring his eyes. He scrunched his face in annoyance and brushed the hair away from his face. Katara felt her face grow hot as she watched her boyfriend's fingers run through the hair, and an image floated up in her mind of her fingers replacing them.

Zuko and Sokka went back into the house, Zuko cheekily offering to melt the facepaint off of Sokka, and promised to keep most of his face intact, as Aang climbed down off of Appa, still pulling at the mop glued to his head.

"I need to find a way to get this thing off me," Aang grumbled. "It won't stay out of my face, people can't see my arrow."

"Well, we can't have that," Katara chuckled. "The world can't know that the last airbender has broken such an important air nomad requirement as the sacred chrome dome."

"Well, it's not a requirement," said Aang, "but I still suspect I look far too much like Zuko for my taste—"

"Wait, really?" Katara cut him off, her eyes widening.

"Well you tell me. I don't have a mirror, but I suddenly feel the urge to sulk and reclaim my honor— "No, I mean, shaving your head isn't a requirement or anything?" Katara asked quickly.

Aang seemed surprised by her question. "Uh... no. Most of the boys did anyway, because it gives you a slight edge in airbending, since your skin is in tune with the air currents. We all had to shave it once, when we got our arrows, but most girls grew it back."

He continued to fidget with the wig as he started walking back towards the house, seemingly oblivious to the blush creeping up his girlfriend's face.

Katara tried to act casual as she fell in step with Aang and linked her arm with his.

"Sooooo...hypothetically speaking," she began, not looking at him, "you could have a full head of hair. If you wanted to."

Aang shrugged. "Yeah. But I've never really felt the desire to. With hair, you have to wash it, and there's so many different haircuts to pick from, it's easier to just shave it in the morning."

He turned to look at her curiously. "Why?"

"Oh, no reason!" she said innocently.

They walked in silence for a few seconds, then a strong morning breeze blew past them and Katara felt her knees grow weak as Aang's messy "hair" whipped in the wind, dancing around his handsome face beautifully, in a way his real hair had never grown long enough to do.

"I was just thinking Sokka might be onto something!" she blurted out before she could stop herself. "You know, about wearing Roku's crown. Maybe the Avatar adopting a few Fire Nation fashions will placate a few of the naysayers, who say that you're a foreign interloper. It will show them that you're their Avatar too. It would be a great exchange and blending of cultures, to reflect peaceful cooperation."

Aang frowned thoughtfully. "Well, I….guess that kind of makes sense." He shrugged and chuckled. "I'm still definitely going to get this hair off me, though. Then I can decide whether to start growing my own."

"Hmmm….yeah," Katara whispered greedily under her breath, "I bet that'll look even hotter."

"Hmm? What was that? I didn't hear you."

"Nothing!" she squeaked, and ran back into the house.

[darknessisafriend]

Fanfiction Masterlist

So here’s all the fanfics I’ve written for now, I will update it frequently ;)

Request are OPEN, I take request for the following:

Arthur/Joker (Joker)

Commodus (Gladiator)

Joe (You were Never Really Here)

Leonard (Two lovers)

Abe Lucas (Irrational Man)

Abbe de Coulmier (Quills)

Charlie (Sisters brothers)

Bobby Green (We own the night)

Bruno Weiss (The immigrant)

Willie Gutirez (The yards)

Max California (8mm)

Doc Sportello (Inherent Vice)

Merrill Hess (Signs)

Freddie Quell (The master)

Ray Elwood (Buffalo soldiers)

I also do HC for mutliple Joaquin characters at the same time (example here) 

Joaquin Phoenix (no smut, only fluff and respectful asks)

List of the fics below ! Enjoy! 

ARTHUR/JOKER Imagines

Beautiful, reader take a picture of Arthur, he thinks he’s ugly; you are going to remind him the contrary FLUFF

Little secret, Arthur discovers that his Joker look excites you NSFW

Since the beginning , reader reaction to Murray Franklin show, they want to leave but they come face to face with him, in the end they submit to him NSFW (rough sex; bloodplay)

A perfect day, reader comforts Arthur after a bad day, bath, favorite food, singing and dance SUPER FLUFFY

Emotional support clown, Arthur is your emotional support clown while you’re being fired, FLUFF

Your savior, the Joker saves you from the assault and beating of 3 men, slight NSFW

Playing strip poker with Arthur and Joker, SFW

Babysitting, You are babysitting the kid of a colleague with Arthur but he´s terrified to do mistakes but it turns out he´s really good and the kid like him so much she doesn´t want to leave FLUFF

This is my family,   You and Arthur had just had a baby boy Benjamin,Arthur was getting ready for work (facepaint)and he could hear you singing that’s life and dancing with your baby and he stands by the door watching you and as you finished he started clapping and as he entered you started singing send in the clowns and Arthur started dancing and your baby was giggling and you all danced while Arthur watched you in awe FLUFF

The king’s mercy,  Joker likes it when you call him “King”, and he’s going to show his gratitude, dominant, he’s going to take care of you until you squirt. NSFW

Mommy Issues ,  where Arthur has pretty bad mommy issues after Penny dies and the reader helps him cope by letting him indulge in a bit of non-sexual ageplay and he calls the reader Mommy and really lets his childish side show while the reader takes care of him  SFW/ fluff

Frozen time, Taking a long hot bath or shower with Joker after a long day for both him and the reader! Fluff

Sweets,  Reader is student who on a good day receives lots of candy and shares one with Carnival. When Arthur as Joker has shot Murray and escapes, he spots the same student among the crowd, trying to escape the rioting going on around her. He goes after her and avoids being captured again. Instead, he follows student to her apartment. SFW

I’ll find you,  Batman kidnaps you but Joker will save you. SFW

Take control,  Reader giving Arthur a lap dance for the first time, Arthur would get flustered pretty easily and you’d have to encourage him multiple time to touch you but surprisingly after the lap dance, he’s really wound up from all the teasing and fucks you rough for the first time. NSFW

The tigress and the angel,  Where the reader defends Arthur after someone verbally harasses him on the street. The catch is that the reader is a kind little smol angel that doesn’t use curse words and then, all of a sudden, when someone is talking trash to Arthur, she brings out her large vocabulary of curse words and Arthur is completely shocked by it. But once the individual or individuals back off and go away, she turns back to her normal self but Arthur is still impressed. SFW

Please don’t leave me,  Arthur and Reader have a heated argument and Arthur is in his Joker persona so he acts like a dick he can be sometimes, and they break up; then Arthur is back to himself and he’s sweet, so he goes after her, angst, fluff. SFW

Nightmares,  the reader has a nightmare about losing Joker (him dying) and he reassures her. SFW

Only yours, Reader works for a crummy boss who is sexually harassing her but, she needs money to live with Arthur. Arthur at this moment comes to drop off some flowers and overhears the comments and thinks that something is going on. Possessive jealous smut, he is afraid to lose her. NSFW

You’re fucked, the reader was alone while walking home to Joker at night in Gotham and some men attacked her leaving her on the road hurt and all bloody,and when she comes home Joker didn’t expect to see her like that and takes care of her but also will find the assholes who hurted her “kitten” and beats the shit out of them.

Isn’t this supposed to be a party?,  reader takes Joker to one of those fancy parties (bc her parents invited her) but when she shows up with Joker everyone gets freaky.

I’m here for you,  Reader is struggling with self harm, has a lot of scars on her arms and Arthur knows about them, he knows also that reader is trying not to do this, but it’s something like an addiction. Arthur finds her sitting on a couch bleeding and crying, and he takes care of her.

The most beautiful embrace, your first time with Arthur, he is nervous and a bit clumsy but you wouldn’t want another man in your arms.

I am a clown,  You and Arthur have recently started dating, but Arthur hasn’t dared yet to tell you about his job. He knows clowns are seen as uncool or scary and he worries a bit about your reaction.

HEADCANONS JOKER/ARTHUR:

HC about how Arthur and joker would like to receive and express affection!

Arthur joker jealousy hc!

Makeup kissing

Flirt/date/woo reader

If Arthur and Joker had a girlfriend that has hip dips and stretch marks and is really insecure about her body

Kissing the inside of your thigh

Where reader is really into Arthur’s skinny, bony physique; She loves thin men.

Arthur and Joker notices that the reader has a Daddy/dominance kink,how would they react to it  

Where Reader is insecure about her soft spot 

NSFW Arthur and Joker, their kinks and how they foreplay

Security Whole

Friendship 

Relationship 

JOAQUIN IMAGINE:

You’re beautiful,  Joaquin and Reader didn’t have sex for 2 months, you’re craving for him, but as he lost too much weight for Joker, he’s avoiding any kind of intimacy with you. He’s afraid you will find him ugly and his body disgusting and that he won’t give her pleasure and make her horny, but he can’t be more wrong.

Christmas surprise, where Joaquin is away on location for filming thus making it your first christmas without him so his sisters invite you over to spend it with them but it actually ends up being a secret plan to surprise you with Joaquin

Mine,  where Joaquin is very protective/jealous over you

Periods,  it’s the first day of your periods so it’s a bad day for you but Joaquin is there for you and make your day better

Marry me?  where Joaquin proposes to you.

Welcome to the family,  where you’re meeting Joaquin’s sisters and family for the first time and you’re super nervous but everything turns out okay, because after the meeting they all consider you their new sister.

Let’s relax, Joaquin and reader to smoke a joint together after Joaquin has a stressful day on set and he tries smoking for the first time.

River would be so proud, Joaquin and reader at the Oscars 2020

Love is love,  where Joaquin is dating an university student (reader’s like 21-22) and reader feels insecure about being so much younger than him bc of people's comments.

First date?,  Joaquin and You have been close friends for like a couple of years now and you are hanging out together one day and eventually fall asleep together. As one of you is falling asleep, one tell the other that they love them; obviously the other overhears it...

Ideal date, a long headcanon of what an ideal date with Joaquin would be like.

COMMODUS x READER

The world will be ours, part 1, part 2, part 3,  part 4, part 5, You are the heir of a kindgom  conquered by Rome. To strenghen its bound to the Empire, the Emperor has made an offer your family can’t refuse… you will marry his son Commodus, but you are scared of him and he doesn’t want to marry you, but Rome is hostile to Commodus reign, what will be your role in this, will you learn to love each other?

The world will be ours Sequel,  this fic follows the life of Commodus with you, you had two beautiful, children, he is finally happy and loved but then something terrible happens… Part 1, Part 2 

Anything for Caesar NSFW, rough sex smut one shot

Commodus the whore of the Empress NSFW, Imagine a parallel universe where Commodus falls from grace, you become Empress and he becomes your bitch (part 2 on my friend’s blog   Part 3 , Part 4, part 5

Let’s just stay here a little while,  You are feeling down lately, thankfully, your husband Commodus is there for you.

Pampering Commodus, after a hard day the Emperor needs to relax and be pampered. Fluff

Queen or thief of my heart?,  The reader is poor and is mistaken for stealing from a street vendor, and she is brought before Emperor Commodus to be killed but upon seeing her, he recognizes her as a childhood friend of his...will he save her life as a token of the past?

The One rule, you have disobeyed Commodus and he punishes you in the best and yet worst way.

Periods, you have your periods for the first time with your husband Commodus, you are ashamed but he comforts you in that tough time of the month.

Your attitude may hurt me, but mine can kill you, quote challenge, Commodus is having another paranoia episode. 

You should kneel to your Empress,  Commodus' Empress is mixed race and she overhears people at the palace making remarks about her and her family even though without her, they wouldn't have trade or peaceful relations with a prominent tribe in Africa. Commodus hears it and defends her.

The virtues of an Emperor,  this follows the moment when Commodus learns he won’t be Emperor, but it takes a slightly different turn, he is not alone this time.

If only Rome knew how much you sacrificed for them,  after the final fight against Maximus in the Colosseum, you find Commodus’ body among the corpses of those dead in the arena, he had been carelessly tossed there as if he was no one. He is alive, barely, you decide to save him. But what will happen if he survives? Will he claim back the throne? Chap 1, Chap 2, Chap 3, Chapter 4,  Epilogue

Elysium, Commodus comforts you after one of your friends died

The light in my darkness, Commodus has always been afraid of the dark. 

Sleepless Slumber, Commodus suffers insomnia

I will feed on your hate, Commodus hears people criticizing and it hurts more than expected

My never ending loyalty, male reader, preatorian’s guard love story with his emperor on the Eve of the fight against Maximus. chapter 2

You are my Empire, one shot about Commodus being a sub in your relationship, smut and fluff.

No one will oppose us,  Commodus ends up crying during sex that leads to an early end, you comfort him and take care of whatever emotions bubbled over

HEADCANONS:

Vanity 

Quizzes

The melancholia of Commodus and your comfort

Celebrating Saturnalia/Christmas with Commodus

Commodus x Plus size reader

NSFW HC

JOE x READER

Make you smile, a fluffy winter imagine

Beyond memory,  where reader had an accident and lost his memory permanently, however, Joe does not give up his wife and tries to win her back.  Part 1, part 2 , 3 , 4 and 5 !

Joe is just too adorable,  there were just days where Joe was so adorable that spend your day looking at him…  

Please be careful out there, Joe comes back from ‘work’ all bloodied and bruised. Reader takes care of him and gives him a massage. FLUFF

We stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside us, Joe is having a breakdown

HEADCANONS: 

Kisses 

Affection

Ending 

Jealousy 

Body worship

Fiancee, I love you, Remember

Smut with Joe

ABBE DE COULMIER x READER

Forgive me Lord for I am about to sin,  The reader got hired on as a chambermaid to help tend around the asylum. She and Abbé click upon first meeting, but as a clergyman he must deal with his emotions, especially as they grow closer everyday (and it does not go unnoticed). One day she gets attacked from one of the patients and he comes to her rescue. As he is tending to her in private and making sure she's alright, they finally confess feelings Fluff

Confession, the innocent and pure Abbe is just a mask and behind it is a man with the dirtiest and darkest desires NSFW. Part 2 here!

To taste the forbidden fruit, the Abbé keeps trying to restrain himself from lusting after you until he can't resist anymore.

Finally, I found you again,  OC, Lucille Chagall, is two years older than the Abbé, she’s his childhood best friend. As they see each other again, they quickly realize they feel more than just friendship. 

I will hold you in my arms again, your lover the Abbe is about to be locked up by the doctor.

Riding the priest, the Abbe is not yet ready for full sex so the readerthigh rides him.

Comfort from the priest, you feel bad, terrible but the Abbe is here to comfort you.

HEADCANONS: 

Kisses 

MAX CALIFORNIA x READER

Date night, your first date with Max 

NSFW Headcanons

California isn’t in the mood for a clumsy girl, the reader is a new worker in his favorite pub but when he come he is in bad mood and reader accidentally spill some beer on him; she is nervous and offer him another one for free but he wants something different...

You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how. After meeting Max randomly, he invites you to his concert... you didn’t expect to be so into him.

BOBBY GREEN x READER

Audition,  You’re a dancer desperately looking for a new job and you heard that the El Caribe club was looking for dancers, and for barely dressed performances, but you needed money, you go there to audition in front of the manager Bobby Green, and you are determined to get this job. NSFW

Bobby playing poker with Reader on his lap

BRUNO WEISS x READER

You won’t touch her ever again,  you are being harassed by your ex-boyfriend, he stalks you and gets really angry. Luckily for you bump into Bruno who helps you out and offers you to hide in the theatre for a few hours and then he protects you like gets possessive and aggressive cause he has already fallen in love with you  

Hands off, Bruno is being a little too possessive about a new girl that started to work for him; but the truth is, he just wants to have her for himself...

CHARLIE SISTERS x READER

Your only chance for hapiness, Part 1, Part 2  Where the reader has been teamed up with the brothers to go kill Herman and during the journey Charlie and the reader develop feelings for each other but never admitting it. Then the reader gets mad and ignores him after he got drunk and slept with many girls at Mayfield’s brothel and after a while they make up and tell each other, FLUFF and SMUT

HEADCANONS:

Hugs

Fiance(e) 

FREDDIE x READER

Imagine, calming down Freddie when he has a violent outburst.

HEADCANONS: 

Gentle 

Cuddles  

I love you, Open, Security 

Being jealous and possessive

DOC SPORTELLO x READER

HEADCANONS: 

Best friend 

Kisses, Ending, Domestic

Cuddles, Open, Quizzes, Remember, Security, Zzzz

MERRILL HESS x READER

I love you because you join me in my weirdness, FLUFF as you mess around with Merrill.

Baseball fantasy, Merrill discovers wearing his old baseball uniform really turns you on.

HEADCANONS: 

Affection, Cuddles, Ugly

Home run, FLUFF

LEONARD x READER

Therapy, you and Leonard found a better way to heal. SMUT

I am drowning, hurt/comfort, TW: suicide attempt

NAPOLEON x READER

Relationship HC

MULTI JOAQUIN! CHARACTERS HEADCANONS x READER

Adopting a pet with Multi-Joaquin!characters Headcanons (Here we have Commodus, Arthur/Joker, Joe, Charlie, Max California, Bruno, Abbe, Doc Sportello and Freddie Quell)

Naked boyfriend challenge (Commodus, Arthur/Joker, Bruno, Charlie, Joe, Max, Abbe, Doc Sportello, Freddie, Merill, Theodore)

Celebrating Christmas (Arthur, Joker, Commodus, Joe, Abbe, Charlie, Bobby, Bruno, Willie, Max, Theodore, Merrill, Freddie, Ray)

Taking care of them when they’re sick (Commodus, Joker/Arthur, Bruno, Charlie, Joe, Max, Abbe, Doc, Willie, Leonard)

Celebrating Valentine’s Day ( Arthur/Joker; Commodus; Abbe de Coulmier; Leonard; Joe; Willie Guttirez, Doc Sportello, Max California, Charlie Sisters, Merill Hess)

When they are drunk (Arthur, Commodus, Abbe de Coulmier, Charlie Sisters, Willie Guttirez)

Their reaction to neck smooches