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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years ago

Text

“it’s not that important”

Summary: Y/N is in Harry’s band and one night they have a drunken hook up. One thing leads to another and they find themselves engaging in a friend’s with benefits type of situation. spoiler: it is important

AKA: A friends with benefits to lovers story :) with some angst in there

This is for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration so my trope is friends with benefits! prompt is “you have no goddamn idea what you do to me. when i’m around you, i have no control of my emotions or my thoughts” and the tenth picture ^ i kinda just used it in the beginning to descripe what he was wearing - i got really carried away with this story but the prompt is in there !! lol, not proofread tho but would love your feedback !!!! :) love y’all very much

oh boy i’ve had this done for agesss but i hadn’t written the smut until today so now we’re here i dont even remember what happens - i vaguely remember not loving the end but I hope yall enjoy

Word Count: 15.4k (longest fic to date) | Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol consumption? i dont remember but i dont think theres anything too heavy in here.

“Hey Harold!” You smile as you easily hop over the side of the couch and settle beside your bandmate.

Harry groans, yet can’t keep the small smile off of his face when he sees it’s you. “How many times have I told you to never call me that?”

Your eyes narrow at his faux glare. “And how many times have I told you, I simply do not care?”

You reach a hand out and tousle his already disheveled, unstyled brown hair. Despite his lack of styling, his hair still looked perfect. His chestnut hair fell into a middle part when he did nothing to it and you found it endearing. It made him look far younger than he truly was, like a boy you might have pursued when you were in your early days at college. The waves slightly framed his prominent cheekbones and chiseled jaw that was sporting a tiny amount of stubble.

He moves his arm from around the back of the couch to pat at his hair, trying to put it back in its nondescript position you had just messed with. After he’s satisfied, he uses the same hand to push up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. They’re chestnut brown Gucci frames that match the natural highlights in his hair. You can safely assume that’s why he bought them. The lenses are clear, but you know they don’t hold any prescription. He looks incredulously at you from behind them still.

“Nice glasses,” you mention offhandedly as you reach out to the coffee table to grab the drink you had left there earlier.

Before Harry had arrived, you had been taking up residence on the couch, in the spot he had actually taken up. You had ventured to the restroom for a moment and gotten held up in a conversation when asked your preference for the Beatles. Having to defend your staunch stance for the Beatles and against the Rolling Stones, you had gotten swept up into an argument with Adam. He believed that because the Rolling Stones toured for longer warranted them the title of best rock band. While you countered that despite their long touring and production of music, the Stones had a rotation of members. The Beatles maintained the four of them and held such a large impact even though they were barely together for a decade. They were one of a kind, or at least the first of their kind, you’d allow. You weren’t really in the mood for intellectual conversation tonight, so upon seeing Harry taking up your seat, you had told Adam you’d continue the discussion at a later date and returned to your spot.

“Thanks,” Harry mumbles as his gaze flits around the room. He wasn’t sure if you were actually complimenting him, but he would take it as one either way.

The rest of your friends are all up and about, drinking, talking, dancing. It was the usual house party scene: a relatively intimate gathering, music you all actually liked, some friends of friends feeling slightly out of place. There was no pressure in this type of gathering but still Harry wasn’t necessarily in the party mood tonight. Usually, Harry was the one instigating these types of get-togethers with his friends and bandmates. He liked to be the life of the party, but as the tour loomed closer and closer, he felt some tinge of longing for quiet and solitude. He knew he wouldn’t have much quiet while on the road, which mostly didn’t scare him. He loved the stage and the high he received from performing and the gratification he felt from all the people in the room being there to see him. But there was also that other part of him that liked the quiet, the privacy. As the lack of alone time nudged itself around the corner, he had been hoping to enjoy solitude, or at the very least peace before he was on the road. Some sort of blissful state before technical chaos ensued. When Charlotte, the host of tonight’s soiree, had texted their group chat about tonight, Harry had politely declined. Then came the slew of private texts from Charlotte giving him all the reasons he should come tonight. He tried to say no again, but had shown up after the continued begging from her.

His appearance mirrored his expression, choosing a not perfectly fitted white t-shirt and random trousers rather than picking something he really loved, like usual. You could tell something was up and as his friend you were wondering what was wrong with him.

“Don’t sound so excited, Harry, someone might mistake you for somebody who’s happy to be here.” You stick your tongue into the side of your cheek, gauging his reaction.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re not very funny?” He quips, green eyes flashing to meet yours.

Your banter is probably how the pair of you communicated the best, never really falling into the whole serious side of friendship. You never shared those late night talks about the future or your fears. It was a fun friendship, so you didn’t fancy yourself one of his closest confidants. When it came to music, you and Harry were a bit more serious which formed a sort of paradox because the music you would share with each other gave a far greater insight into your souls than you probably realized. As a member of his band, you would discuss his music and what was going on with that sort of business part. But the sharing and discussion of other music that you did was part of your friendship, even if you didn’t see it like that. Because of the countless albums you had recommended to each other and the specific songs you had made note of, Harry and you knew each other much better than you thought you did. Music connects to something deep inside yourself and you have to like it enough and know the other person well enough to believe that they will also enjoy it to recommend it. As much tongue and cheek that you partook in with Harry, deep down, unbeknownst to either of you, you were that friend he shared his hopes and fears with, through the way he knew best, music.

“No, most people find me hilarious...”

You take a sip of your drink, trying to cover up the sting that his remark actually left. Most of the time you were great at keeping up with anyone’s banter, especially Harry’s, but tonight you weren’t feeling it. His tone had sounded so harsh it almost sounded like he meant it. His features soften when he sees the way your face falls, despite your sarcastic tone.

“‘M sorry. I’m just not in the best mood tonight. Didn’t want to come, but Charlotte…” He shifts to face you, arm retracting slightly around the couch, landing his hand at the edge of your shoulder. His fingers fiddle with themselves absentmindedly, he turns his rings around his fingers and they ever so slightly brush against your shoulder. You don’t mind, you know its his nervous tick that he did whenever he didn’t have something to clink them against.

“Yeah, same here, actually.” Your tuck an out of place hair behind your ear, returning your gaze to Harry, who’s tilting his head at you curiously. “But might as well make the most of it, though. After all, this is our last week before tour starts.” You raise your glass and tilt it towards him before taking a sip.

You really didn’t have a plan, you were just trying to make him feel a little better. It was seldom you saw him so solemn at this type of gathering. He usually was the one bouncing from group to group, entertaining everyone with his dazzling charm and quick wit. Sometimes he would bring a date and spend the night with them in the corner, but that was usually at bigger parties than this. At these types of gatherings you often found yourself talking with Charlotte for most of the night. You were both new additions in the band and you had clicked immediately. You would travel in a pair between different groups and talk with everyone. Sometimes you would tell a humorous anecdote about your life and everyone would laugh wholeheartedly. Your ability to retell a story and make it hilarious every time seemed to be your secret talent. You could make any experience into a ten-minute retelling and it always sounds like the funniest moment of your life. It ranged from your embarrassing audition for Grease as a tween to your supermarket run in with an old acquaintance or B-list celebrity the day before. It didn’t matter what it was, it just always had the entire circle of people laughing and wiping their eyes with joy. You’d laugh a little with themselves, but usually you just had a triumphant smile on your lips for the rest of the night.

He nods, sipping his own drink for the first time since you had settled down beside him. “Well, I’m all ears.”

“What?”

“Give me your suggestions on how to make the most of tonight.”

“Drinking, mostly, was my plan,” you laugh nervously as Harry continues to stare at you intently.

“Mostly?”

“I mean, what do you want me to say? I didn’t think to pack my bouncy castle, my bad.”

He bites back a laugh but lets some air escape his defined nose, before staring with a deadpan face at you.

You like to tease him. You simply liked him. Harry was different from other men you knew. You were pretty sure most people could say that though. Harry was just different. It seemed like no one could not have some sort of affection for him. With the playful friendship the pair of you had, you always skirted the edge of flirtation. But you also didn’t particularly ever want to cross any lines with him. He was the employer of you, technically. He had brought you into his backing band and you wouldn’t do anything to harm that position. As well, at the end of the day you knew Harry. His tendencies and the choices he made.

When you were around him at parties like this, you had to try really hard to keep him at an arm’s length. Because on one hand, you would drink and suddenly the boundaries you put up didn’t seem that important, instead his lips started to look rather inviting, but on the other, you knew that he was extremely emotionally closed off to any relationship that was more than either friendship or a one night stand.

Harry doesn’t give you a response, just swings back his drink. The pair of you sit and drink in silence. Before you know it, Harry and you are five drinks in, finally talking after the second. The pair of you decide to move to the balcony outside and continue your conversation there after the third. After the fourth, you're getting really handsy and by the end of the fifth, Harry’s arm is wrapped tightly around your waist and you're laughing breathlessly into his neck. It looks like he’s just shielding you from the cold night air, but both of you seemed to be enjoying each other’s embrace for other reasons.

Finally catching your breath, you lean back and pant softly as you meet eyes with Harry. His pupils have blown out from the alcohol and dark light. The emerald green barely surrounds the black and you swear there’s flecks of gold or maybe brown in them. Your brows scrunch at the revelation and Harry asks what you’re thinking. You don’t respond, too entranced and drunk to even hear him.

“Oi,” he bops your nose, “What is goin’ on in there, little lady?”

Your hand reaches up and widens Harry’s eye manually. His inebriated state has no qualms about you doing such an odd thing. “Why’s your green not actually green?”

“What?” He asks before moving your hand away from his face, it instead falls to his chest. The pair of you shift until your caged between his body and the balcony’s ledge. You pout as you stare up at him. His skin looks soft and taught over every inch of his face and neck. The urge to kiss him keeps nagging at the back of your mind. The idea keeps creeping up closer and closer and the drunker you are the less likely you are to suppress it.

“Do you want to fuck me?” You blurt out.

“Sure.” Harry isn’t taken aback. He had been thinking about asking for a while, so he was glad you had asked first, made it easier for him.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He takes you back to your place, the pair of you catching a cab the short distance between yours and Charlotte’s flats. No one blinks an eye at the pair of you leaving together. Everyone watched the pair of you sulk all night about being there and only enjoying the other’s company, so they weren’t keen on either of you staying. Charlotte was simply glad the pair of you had stayed for as long as you did.

The two of you walk casually until you’re inside your bedroom. Once inside, Harry throws you on the bed and fucks you. Hard. He’s got you spread out in more ways than you had ever thought possible. He’s got you saying things you had never even dreamed of saying. And he’s got you cumming and screaming more than you could have ever wanted. He enjoys himself as well. He loves the way you feel around him and the way your eyes look up at him while he fucks you straight into the bed. He loves the way you sound whispering dirty things and screaming his name. He loves the feel of your soft skin all over your body as he pushes deep inside you. He loves the way you’re able to rip a guttural moan from him every time he cums. And he cums three times that night. While it wasn’t quiet, he did find that blissful state he had been in desperate need of.

After the third round, Harry feels spent. He brings himself into a sitting position, legs hanging off the edge of your bed. You’re lying in your bed, completely overstimulated, cumming at least twice as many times as Harry. He scratches at the top of his head, his bicep bulging as he folds his arms around himself.

“That was fucking good, Y/N. Just what I needed.”

You can only hum in response.

Then he takes your blanket and lays it over you. After that he begins to stand up, getting ready to grab his things and go.

“You don’t have to go…” your voice raises when you realize what he’s doing.

“Yeah, I do. This was just a one time thing, yeah? I enjoyed it, but you know...”

“Erm, I guess?” You rolled to fully look at him, he was pulling his t-shirt back on now, his marked chest disappearing beneath the white fabric. “Do you really not stay over at your one night stands?”

He thinks about it as he begins with his shoes and his glasses at the same time. “Yes? Usually I don’t know the person and I don’t particularly want to sign an autograph when I leave in the morning. Best to leave immediately afterwards.”

“That was exactly why I wanted you to stay...Shit! No chance you’ll give me an autograph now? Could sign my tit, right next to your hickies.”

He laughs, automatically in a better mood after the catharsis of having sex. It was also a relief for him that you didn’t seem to be weird about the hook up. “Shut up!”

“You’re a twat, Harold.” He groans instinctively at the annoying nickname, not caring about the ‘twat’ part. “But be my guest, you can freeze your arse off while waiting for your cab outside at this hour.”

“Rude..” He mutters, standing in your doorway now. “You wouldn’t actually make your employer stand out in the cold at this time of night. I haven’t even got a jumper. Could get a cold and ruin my voice. ”

“You’re the one who says it’s best to leave immediately. Get on it, mister.”

Your hand makes a shooing movement, but he doesn’t budge. You sigh as he makes a puppy dog face - eyes wide and a puckered pout with his flushed cheeks and lips - playing into your actual kindness, that he knows is somewhere. Your sweetness that you were keeping hidden from Harry right now. Nothing was serious between you so it made sense that you were trying not to let your innate ability to care show as he’s about to walk out on you.

“Ugh, fine. Stop looking at me like that. Just grab one of my coats from the bottom right, they’re all oversized so one should fit.” He doesn’t relent on the face. “And you can stay inside until your cab comes.” You sigh and throw one of your pillows at him. He catches it easily and throws it back, much softer than your throw. “Also never pull the employer card on me again when I’m naked in the bed you just fucked me in,” you call as he looks through your closet.

Returning with a patchwork coat you had thrifted tight over his shoulders, he looks at you seriously, “Yeah sorry about that part. Definitely wasn’t trying to exert my power over you, it sounded better in my head. Meant more like you could ruin my voice and both of our jobs.”

You nod and chuckle slightly, finding how inarticulate Harry could be as an endearing trait. His explanation didn’t actually make it sound better. “The jacket fits.” You say, choosing to move forward from Harry’s weirdness, knowing he didn’t mean any harm from his initial statement.

“Yeah, thanks. I think my cab is here,” He glances at his phone, “So I’ll go...See you?”

“I’m sure.” You smile, “We do in fact work together and will soon be touring the world. Would be a bit weird if I didn’t see you.”

“Right.” He nods and adds a peace sign before he walks out of your sight. You know he’s gone when you hear the door click shut. What an interesting night.

Love on Tour had just started and Harry couldn’t lie. He couldn’t keep his mind off of you. You were both his most recent partner and the best he had had in a while. He found himself rubbing over the spots on his neck and clavicle that you had given particular attention to during the night you had shared together. When he went to bed it was your body he pictured to get himself off. So, after the first show he’s beelining to you at the beginning of the after party. He’s got an adrenaline high and he needs a release. You’re the solution. He’s whispering in your ear, asking if you’d like to meet him in his dressing room. Your eyes study his face when he pulls back and they widen slightly when the realization of what he’s implying dawns on you. Then you’re nodding and excusing yourself from a random conversation five minutes later.

Inside Harry’s dressing room, you find Harry already unbuttoning his shirt. He grabs your face and shoves his lips onto yours once you lock the door. As he kisses you he tries to make one thing very clear, “This doesn’t mean anything.”

“Got it.” You begin to finish Harry’s job of taking off his shirt.

He pulls back to look you in the eye, “Are you okay with that?”

“Jesus fuck, yes, Harry, just shut up and fuck me senseless again!”

He listens to you and begins to kiss down your jaw and neck. His open-mouth kisses leave a searing trail across your skin. He settles on a spot at the base of your neck and begins to suck and nip at it with vigor. You set to work on finishing his job of unbuttoning his shirt. Then you pull off your own shirt, reaching behind you to untie the bows at the back. The new skin exposed grabs Harry’s attention and he moves down to suck over the cleavage of your tits. He’s happy to be back with his ‘bosom friends’. You smack his head when he says it and he chuckles darkly, only sucking harder on them causing you to moan louder than you would like.

Once you’re both in only your underwear, you find your back pressed up against the mirror behind the dressing room counter. Harry’s body is nestled between your spread legs as he kisses down your skin. His fingers dance along the line of your thong as he looks up from beneath his lashes for position, you only push his head closer to your heat in response. He laughs mischievously before tugging them down off your hips.

“Missed this pretty little cunt...All I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout,” He mutters as he begins to latch onto your dripping core.

Your brows shoot up at the thought that Harry’s mind has been stuck on you for the past week. You definitely had thought about your drunken hook up a bit, but hadn’t thought it had left a lasting impression on Harry, you assumed he had that lovely of a night with every person he chose to spend intimate time with. These thoughts are forgotten when Harry’s warm tongue is lapping at your swollen bud. You’re already panting for Harry and now you’re heaving with moans and whimpers leaving your mouth with every lick and nip of his expert mouth.

“Fuck Harry, feels so good,” you whine as his tongue travels down your folds and swirls and dips into your hole.

He moans at your words and the way your legs squeeze at his head. His hands move to spread you open wide to maintain his control and he smirks at the way your body rolls due to the friction of his voice against your pussy.

“Be a good girl f’me,” he growls still pressed against your wet heat.

Your body rolls again as you get closer and closer to your first release. Your bite your lip trying to contain all of the sounds that are trying to escape your mouth. Harry notices the new silence and glances up seeing how you’re trying to behave. As much as he likes you obeying his words, he also wanted to hear how he was pleasuring you.

“Tell me how you feel, princess,” he demands.

“So-so good,” you hiccup as his fingers caress over your folds now as he looks you in the eyes, his lips wet with your slick. He kisses you hard, his tongue diving into your mouth and you kiss back passionately, loving your taste on his tongue.

He pulls back and your hands trail down his chest, swirling around his familiar tattoos and hair that grace his lower torso as you move. He grins, enjoying the feeling of you on him and how he was affecting you.

Soon enough, his cock is finding its way back to your glistening folds, wet with your own liquids as well as his saliva. His mouth waters at the sight. He only pushes into you a few times like this. Then he catches sight of himself in the mirror in front of him and can’t resist. He pulls out and flips you over, your squeal leaving your mouth before you can stop yourself. His dick finds your entrance once again, not wanting to be without the wonderful warmth for any longer than he must.

“Ahhh,” Harry groans when he slips back inside.

Your head throws back on your neck, the feeling of him as well as the sight of him gripping your hair in one hand and your fleshy hip in the other. His rings dig into the skin as he’s able to slam more forcefully in this position. You gasp and whine at his motions. The sounds coming from between your legs are turning you on even more and they seem to make Harry happy too. He picks up the pace and drops the grasp of your hair for a second. Your head falls down as you try to keep yourself up on your elbows.

Gripping both of your hips, Harry growls, “Look at me while I fuck you. C’mon now.”

You moan in response and tear your eyes open to see your reflections in the mirror. One hand goes up to hold onto the mirror to give yourself more traction, causing your back to arch even more. The new position has Harry’s cock slamming into you deeper.

“Fuck!” Harry practically yells and can’t keep himself from landing a harsh slap on your ass. You jump forward at the sting but his other hand keeps the pace steady. He keeps burying himself into you all the way to his base, his balls slapping at your now slick spread thighs. He rubs over the red handprint he had just left on your ass. You whimper and bite your lip, truly enjoying the sensation.

Still staring into the mirror as Harry commanded, your eyes water slightly and Harry makes eye contact with you through the mirror. You smile widely and he grins back. “This feels so fucking good. Your pussy takes me so well. Fuck…” Harry babbles, still pistoning into you. You had noticed how vocal he was the first time you had fucked, but thought it had just been the alcohol. Apparently not. But you didn’t mind, you much preferred it to partners who barely spoke or didn’t even moan. Like how were you supposed to know what was going on in their minds? With Harry, you knew he was having a good time.

A few more heavy thrusts and you felt yourself nearing the edge. Your panting was getting faster, exceeding the speed of Harry’s thrusts and he could also feel you were close. Your cunt began squeezing him tighter so he hooked a hand under your knee and brought it onto the table. He hunched over you slightly and snaked his hand to your clit. “C’mon darling, I know you're close. Can feel that little cunt putting a choke hold on my cock.” He rubs at your clit with the vigor of strumming a quick paced song on the guitar. It’s enough to overtake your senses and the laugh that had bubbled from his words turns into your orgasm moan. You try to muffle it into the arm that is holding you against the mirror to avoid a full on scream because it feels that good. You felt like you were having your first ever orgasm, it felt that new to you.

A few more thrusts and you’ve come down from it, but Harry still hasn’t finished. It’s your turn to be the partner coaxing the other to get off. “Faster, Har. Want you to cum too.” He grunts, picking back up the pace. He had slowed to let you ride out your stay. “That’s it...want you to cum in me. Your cock feels so fucking good.” You whine, meaning every word. He smiles again at you and closes his eyes, focusing on chasing his high. You watch as his smile widens to that open mouth grin, “Fuck,” he almost whispers. And there it is. There’s a twitch in his hips that mirrors his expression and then he’s pulling out and cumming on your back. His voice is now even lower and raspier than before as he babbles how good that was and how tight your pussy was. It was sweet nothings, but extremely explicit and you sighed heavily, feeling a small orgasm wash over you again. His final thrusts and voice pushing you off the cliff again easily.

The two of you take a minute to bring your breathing back to normal and Harry goes to clean your back off.

“So..how do you feel about maybe doing this regularly?” Harry asks sheepishly as he begins to pull his pants back on.

“Like a friends with benefits kind of thing? Or bandmates with benefits, rather.” You laugh breathlessly at your not really funny joke, but you’re now truly exhausted. From the show and the fuck, you felt thouroughly worked out.

“I guess that’s what it is, yeah.”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“You’re honestly so chill, Y/N. It’s fuckin’ hot.”

You laugh and flip your hair dramatically. You’re only in your bra and panties right now and Harry licks his lips, finding your playfulness to be a turn on. “What can I say?” You laugh.

“But like I said before...it’s just sex.” He’s buttoning up his shirt and looking at your reflection through the mirror now. He watches you slip the pants you had been wearing back on.

“Oh, Harold, I know.” On cue, he groans and turns around to face you after fixing his mused hair in the mirror. Interrupting yourself, you turn your back to Harry, “Can you tie this, sorry it’s hard for me to get the -” Harry walks to you without any hesitation and begins tying the silk ribbons on the back of your shirt. “Thanks. Anyway,” you turn to face him when he’s finished and you place both of your palms on his chest. “Trust me, I know you’ve got your issues and I’m not looking to be the girl that tries to change you. I know what this is. I only ask that you let me know when you sleep with other people, because once you do, you won’t need me.” Harry nods and you pat your hands against him. You both smile and go your separate ways when you leave the dressing room.

Harry and you fucked almost every night on tour. Sometimes it was right after, on the counter in his dressing rooms. Sometimes it was later in the evening in his hotel room or yours. He stopped leaving immediately after your hook ups. He never kicked you out of his room so he decided it was fine for him to stay in yours. Especially because you weren’t a stranger who would be weird with him in the morning. He also didn’t like trekking through the hotel halls late at night.

The first few times you stayed in the same bed, the two of you stayed on opposite sides of the bed, not touching after you were finished engaging in your sexual endeavours. Rigid bodies against the edges of the mattress. Then one particularly long night, filled with multiple rounds, Harry was so exhausted from his performance on stage and off that he collapsed on top of you. He fell asleep there and you didn’t particularly mind. It felt nice to be slightly compressed and held. He shifted in his sleep and when he woke up he wasn’t upset to find you nestled into his side with his arms wrapped around you. After that, cuddling sort of became part of the routine. After you were done having sex, Harry or you would get up to clean up and bring back waters. Then you would settle in his arms. Sometimes in a spooning position and sometimes you cradled softly into his chest. You didn’t talk about it, it just happened.

One night it was your head directly on top of his butterfly tattoo, one leg thrown over his lower torso and your arm snuggly wrapped around his middle. He liked to pet your hair when you laid against his chest in that way. His fingers would fiddle with the strands and you liked it because he usually took off his rings before he would do it and his hands felt so soft and delicate against you. Harry liked the way he felt when he would hold you afterwards. It was calming to fall asleep against your soft skin and feel your fingertips trace lyrics to songs he wasn’t sure the name of against his own.

No one knew about how your friendship with Harry worked. To the rest of the world, you seemed to be someone who had become another close friend in the band. You were similar to Mitch in many respects. Except for when Harry winked at you during a show, it wasn’t a friendly wink, it was a ‘this song makes me horny and I can’t wait to relieve the pressure by fucking you later’ kind of wink. You knew this because Harry had gone over and whispered it in your ear during a quick break, when you had only looked at him weirdly after he did it.

Before the show tonight, you pulled Harry aside, “So what are we thinking tonight? I feel like I might want to ride you...Haven’t been on top in a while.” In the darkness of the backstage, you crane your neck to take Harry’s earlobe between your teeth. He groans softly and grips your hips to guide them against his for a second. “Sounds fuckin’ fantastic, love.” You twitch back, releasing him immediately at the word. You always told him not to call you that and he tried to reason with you, that it was just something he called people. But you disliked it a lot, adding it to the growing list of rules the pair of you had for the do’s and don'ts of being friends with benefits with each other.

“Harold,” you groan and he steps back at that pet name. While he hated this, you refused to let him put it on the list because it didn’t cross any lines with your physical arrangement. Not that there was any physical list to put it on, it was more of a theoretical list that the two of you would speak of occasionally.

“Sorry.” He says eventually, “Didn’t mean it.” You both laugh.

You think about how other relationships were sometimes desperate to hear their partner express their love for them and you believe you’re grateful for the simplicity of your arrangement. The term relationship regarding what you and Harry were doing was also in the ‘don’t’ category on the list. If either of you were being honest, there should be no need for a list and you should be questioning yourselves why you felt the need to set boundaries if one part of it was physical and the other part was your friendship and job. If it truly was just physical why were boundaries constantly needing to be set and followed? But right now honesty was not in the cards.

After the show Harry gets delayed with press or fans or something that you don’t really care about. You barely read the text that he sends, only caring about the ‘sorry got held up�� and the ‘be there in thirty’.

You let yourself into his room and wait on the bed, flipping through your phone, completely unbothered by the rest of the world. When you hear a knock on the door, you don’t think twice about getting up and opening the door. You only realize your terrible mistake when it’s Mitch and not Harry standing at what you’re also just realizing isn’t your door, but instead Harry’s.

“Shit!” you say under your breath as Mitch looks at you confused.

The room is dark behind you because Harry would have just entered and gotten down to business. He might turn on a side lamp, but you hadn’t felt the need to have light on while you waited. Forgetting all of that, you had just gone to the door and opened it.

Mitch tucks some of his hair behind his ear as he stares at you. “Is Harry here?”

“Er..No?” It comes out as a question. You rub the back of your ankle with your foot, feeling nervous.

“Is he actually not here or?” Mitch trails off, narrowing his eyes at you.

“No, no he’s really not here. I’m waiting for him, too.” You rush your words, but try to remain calm.

“You have a key to his room. And you’re waiting in the dark.” He says. They’re not questions and you’re not sure just how guilty you look.

“Yeah!” You try to come up with a non suspicious response, hoping there’s a way to still salvage your’s and Harry’s secret, “He gave me his key because he wanted to talk about something and I kept it dark because my eyes always hurt after shows. Kind of like a migraine.” You scratch at your head and smile, trying to convince Mitch. He seems to believe you as he nods slowly and opens his eyes more.

There’s a little bit of an awkward silence and Mitch shifts his weight between his feet, looking at you still. Just as you're about to invite Mitch to come wait inside with you, Harry steps out of the elevator and begins to walk down the hall. His key card is already in hand and your eyes widen. Harry’s expression mirrors yours when he realizes Mitch is standing outside of his door and that you are standing with him. “Mitch!” Harry says, placing his hand on Mitch’s shoulder and sliding his key card into his back pocket with the other. Mitch turns to Harry without seeing him put away the other key card and you look at the pair of them.

“I was just telling Mitch how you gave me your key card so we could talk about...that thing.” You interject, flicking the lights on in Harry’s room as casually as possible. Harry shoots you a look about how you couldn’t come up with an actual reason for being there. You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

Mitch looks between the two of you and feels some weird tension and he’s not sure if it's always there and he’s just noticing or if something is going on right now.

“Yeah, well, I came to stop by to talk about the riff in Canyon Moon. Something is wonky with it.”

“Oh! Sure,” Harry nods to Mitch and then glances at you, “Y/N, we can talk about that other thing later. It’s not that important anyway.” His tone is so casual and nonchalant. You stare at him, thinking he can’t be serious. You had been almost sure he would send Mitch away, but instead you were being kicked to the curb. When he doesn’t say sike or anything of the sort, you nod. “Okay,” then you mumble a ‘good luck’ with figuring out the problem with the song. Mitch walks in the door, but Harry’s eyes stay fixed on your figure retreating down the hallway. He watches you disappear and is only pulled from his thoughts when Mitch calls his name from the couch in the room.

After reaching your floor, you key into your room and get ready for bed. Just as you’re about to drift off to sleep, completely alone for once in a long time, there’s another knock. This time you check the peephole, a habit you realized you were going to have to get better at. It’s Harry. You open the door and walk away immediately once he’s entered the room.

“Why are you here?”

“Thought we could still...” He follows you into the room, trying to make out your face in the darkness.

“I’m not in the mood anymore.” Your tone gives away your annoyance. You couldn’t hide that you were mad at Harry for sending you away. It made you feel weird. The way he did it so easily made you feel like you were extremely disposable and unwanted.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he lays down beside you. You turn to face him when he places a hand on the small of your back. You’re face to face and your noses are almost brushing. It’s not really possible to see each other’s features, but after months of hooking up you knew each other’s faces pretty well. You could reach out and pinpoint all of Harry’s freckles and moles on his face and neck right now and be correct. He could likely do the same. The theory is proven correct when he reaches out and his hand dances down your cheek. “Just thought it would be less suspicious if I didn’t get rid of him. Couldn’t make him wait either…”

“I know,” your voice is small and soft, just above a whisper, “I forgive you.” You scoot closer to him and Harry instinctively wraps his arm around you, bringing you tightly into him. You sigh into his neck and he shivers at your warm breath on his slightly clammy skin. When you lick your lips, they brush lightly against his skin. He laughs at the feeling, so you decide to press an intentional kiss to the hollow in his neck. In response, he presses a kiss to your hairline, his lips slightly chapped after the concert.

The kisses are tender, filled with that thing neither of you dare attribute to anything the two of you did in the dark. The word you told him time and time again to not call you. So is just about every touch and word that has been exchanged in this room since Harry entered it. You fall asleep wrapped up in his arms, a soft smile resting on both of your faces. Neither of you seem to mind that you didn’t actually have sex tonight or anything even close to it.

When you wake up you feel especially well rested. You shift around and realize your bed is empty besides you. It depended on the day, but it was always a toss up between Harry being there when you woke up or not. However, lately, you had found it was usually the former. You would linger longer and so would Harry in each other’s rooms, lounging in each other’s embrace under the soft glow of the morning light peaking through whatever windows the room had. Today you were cold at his absence. Then you look up and realize you aren’t completely alone. Harry is standing at the end of your bed, staring down at his phone, smiling.

“Hey.”

You wait for his reply, but he doesn’t look up from his phone. “Hey, Harold,” you repeat. His head snaps up, a grimace on his face at the name. He slips his phone in his pocket and ruffles his hair. “Hey.” He finally responds. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Okay.”

Neither of you seem to find it necessary to talk about what happened last night. Harry definitely seemed a little off to you this morning, but you try to shake it from your thoughts. There was no reason to be upset with him being quiet. He didn’t owe you anything, you hadn’t even slept together last night, so if anything it was weird he stayed as long as he did.

It was the second night at the Forum in Los Angeles. This means no travelling necessary. No day off either, tomorrow you’d have a day off before the third and final show at the venue though.

Harry and you were talking normally at the venue, mostly about the setlist - him and Mitch had changed something for whatever reason last night, which was fine. Your banter was to a minimum, but you were trying to convince yourself that nothing was off. Even though it felt like something was different, you couldn’t place your finger on what it was, so you thought it was best to ignore it.

When Harry is about to go out on stage, you don’t pull him aside and when he introduces the members of the band to the audience, he doesn’t say anything fun or silly about you. He doesn’t wink or come up to you at any point in the performance. It’s so unusual the rest of your bandmates are giving you funny looks. Charlotte looks at you from across your keyboard in a way that she’s asking if you’re okay. You shake your head at everyone trying to signal that you’re fine.

Mitch goes over to Harry and whispers in his ear to check in with him, Harry looks at him with a bright smile on his face and says “of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Mitch looks between the pair of you, thinking back to last night and how weird the pair of you were being then. Maybe it dawns on him then what might be going on between the two of you, but if he did, he wouldn’t mention it for a long time.

You falter a bit on your back up vocals tonight. You’re trying to give it your all, like always, but for some reason your voice isn’t sounding the way you want it. About halfway through the show, when your voice comes out the exact opposite of how you would like, Harry finally gives you a second glance. His face practically emotionless, save for the single arched brow. He’s concerned, but not concerned enough where he would go over to you. He just doesn’t understand why you keep missing the right note tonight. You make a shake of your hand to say I don’t know either. He just shrugs and turns back around to continue the show, his lively smile returning while he turns his head.

After the show, Charlotte, Sarah, and you are all checking in, going over what had happened during the show in general. They’re both worried about your voice and you’re simply trying to tell them that it was just an off night. Nothing was wrong. As long as you told everyone else that, then it might turn out to be true.

“It’s fine, maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” you fib, having gotten more sleep last night than most other nights on this tour. They both nod, seeming to take that as a reasonable answer.

Then Charlotte gets quieter as she whispers to the three of you, “Did you guys notice anything weird with Harry? He was super lively, but he barely interacted with you, Y/N, which is so unlike him...”

Sarah nods while you look skeptically on. Sarah adds, “He kept looking up to the boxes, too. More than usual at least. I don’t know though…” She trails off and you cross your arms over your chest, not really enjoying the conversation topic. “I mean, what do you think, Y/N?” Sarah adds.

Your eyes dance between the two women, your fellow bandmates, your friends. You sometimes wished you could share with them what you were doing with Harry. The secret was fun, but it’s also nice to be able to share with your girlfriends about the guy you’re seeing, even if it is a casual thing. The friendly gossip of it all is something fun to share, but sadly that was another thing you couldn’t do. You sigh, “You never really know what’s going on in his mind, y’know. He’s just Harry.” Your response is half-assed at best. You figure they’ll both give you shit for the non-answer you just supplied, but instead someone else speaks for them.

“I am in fact, just Harry.” He says and you swivel around to find yourself almost chest to chest with him. Charlotte laughs while Sarah simply smiles. Your eyes are huge as you stare up at him and you hope your blush doesn’t come out too strongly after being caught talking about Harry by himself. “Enlighten me on when I was being ‘just Harry’ though?” You bite your lip and take a step back from him, forming more of a line with the other women. He shrugs when no one offers a response, laughing lightly.

“Oh and Y/N, I can’t talk about that thing again tonight, I’ve got-”

“A date?” Charlotte asks, trying to understand why Harry was acting a little different tonight still. The part that Sarah had mentioned about him looking up into the boxes had given her the idea that he might have plans with someone after the show. Harry scratches his head, his hair slightly wet with sweat right after the show. He’s taken off his coat so he’s just in the almost completely unbuttoned, sweat soaked shirt he had been wearing underneath. It sticks tight to his skin and you can make out all the muscle lines that hide beneath the fabric that you usually get to caress. Your eyes flit from his body back to his face when he speaks again.

“Erm, I wasn’t going to phrase it like that...but yes, I suppose, it’s a date.” He says finally, he avoids your eye contact and you look at him very confused, trying to hide the hurt. He shoves his hands in his pockets trying to look and sound as casual as possible and ignore the strain he sees on your face. Is that what had held him up yesterday? Making plans with someone else? And he hadn’t told you until now? The past twenty four hours stung a little bit more now that you knew why Harry was being so distant. It simply felt icky finding out this way and it didn’t even seem like he was going to tell you it was a date.

“Okay,” you say simply and walk away. You hear Charlotte asking him details about his date, but you try actively not to hear any of it. Sarah watches you walk away and sees the way you wrap your arms around yourself to comfort you. She feels a twinge of sadness as she watches the scene unfold, seeing something she hadn’t realized was there before.

Harry doesn’t text or call you that night. You hang out with everyone else for a little while in Charlotte’s room before heading to bed, saying you think you need an early night tonight. Before you’re able to walk out of the door, Mitch stops you. “I heard Harry blew off whatever conversation the two of you have been trying to have again. Just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” You try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace. There is no conversation Harry is blowing off, it’s simply you. “It’s fine. Like he said yesterday, it’s not important.” Mitch nods, but still looks at you with concern. What he had seen last night, then on stage today, and what Sarah had told him about your interaction after the show it all strung together in his mind. It didn’t seem unimportant at all. But he didn’t know how he could tell you that. He felt like he should talk to Harry about the way you looked when you left Charlotte’s room tonight, but he didn’t know how to bring it up to him either.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you're in the elevator, and it’s slowly rising to your floor of the hotel. You’re only one level up, but it feels like an eternity in there. You already weren’t a fan of elevators, but this ride felt impossibly worse. The walls are all made up of mirrors and you see yourself in the reflection, but you don’t exactly recognize the girl in there. Your eyes are tired from the show, dark circles already formed. Your hands are aching, clenching and unclenching on their own accord. Your body is slumped against the back wall, likely leaving a slight imprint from the smoke residue and dust on your clothes. Worst of all are the tears running down your face, smudging at your makeup, the black mascara you had applied dripping down in sinister raindrops against your skin. The sad girl stares back at you as you sniffle slightly, confused at what you’re seeing. “Why are you crying?” you ask yourself, your voice creaking and then breaking at the end as you struggle to get out the word ‘crying’ before a sob wracks through you. You roll your eyes when your reflection offers no explanation for itself. You laugh at your own patheticness and try to shake the feelings you’re experiencing.

Inside your room now, you flop on the bed and stare straight up at the ceiling. Your arms spread to your sides and your legs lay limply below you. You think about every night before last, every night since the tour started. Every night where you weren’t alone, where you were with Harry. Your mind flits to last night, how Harry’s lips had ghosted over your skin after his apology. How you had told him you forgave him and it had felt so peaceful, so simple. It was all so easy. Thinking about him and the things the two of you did together brought a smile to your face, unbeknownst to you. When you realize it’s there, your face drops immediately, deciding not to think about Harry.

But trying to not think about Harry makes you only think about him more and what you think about him now most definitely doesn’t bring a smile to your face. You’re thinking about him out on his date with some person you chose to learn nothing about. Maybe out of fear of what is happening right now. By knowing nothing about the person, you can’t compare yourself to them. Can’t see what’s different about them that would make Harry go out on a date with them. But it doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like because at the end of it all you know one thing for certain. They’re not you. You correct yourself, you know two things actually, because you also know that Harry chose to be with them instead of you tonight.

You fall asleep with tear stained cheeks that night and absolutely nothing positive on your mind. You want to sleep but know it only brings whatever is bound to happen tomorrow, which doesn’t seem very promising.

It’s noon when you wake up and you wake to a knocking on your door. You grumble and throw a sweatshirt over your body to hide the underwear you slept in. Not remembering your new habit, you swing the door open without any hesitation to find Harry. He looks wide awake and happy, the way he almost always looks, a fresh beautiful flower of a man. You look at him groggily, “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“Because I was asleep?” You tilt your head and look at him incredulously. “What about this,” you gesture to your appearance, “looks like I just went for a 3 mile jog for fun and I love the morning?”

“Can I come in?” He ignores everything you just said and enters the room when you leave the door to get back in bed. You often did that with him, you don’t know why, but when he asked to come in the room it was just simpler to let him in then say anything. He knew what you meant.

He sits at the edge of the bed as you reclaim your spot in the middle of it, tucked slightly under the covers, but still sitting up. “How was your date?” You try to sound nonchalant and it seems to work. Harry doesn’t notice your tense figure, but you notice how he tenses up when you ask.

“Good…Her name was-” You don’t let him finish, you already know the answer to this next question and you don’t need her name in order to ask it, “Did you fuck her?”

He’s silent, green eyes staring straight at you. You meet his gaze, your eyes almost burning holes into him. His eyes are begging you to not make him answer the question, he doesn’t want this to end, even if he also didn’t want the commitment he had felt himself exhibiting the other night.

When he had come to your room the other night after Mitch had almost caught you, he knew he shouldn’t have stayed. He didn’t want you to feel bad so he had come to apologize, but when the pair of you didn’t have sex, he should have left. But he didn’t, he stayed and it wasn’t for you, it was for himself. It was for him to hold you in his arms because he liked to. But when he woke up the next morning he knew he needed to leave. Solely cuddling wasn’t part of your arrangement together. It’s probably on the list of don'ts that the pair of you had. So after he realized the line he had willingly crossed with you, he quickly sent a text to Jeff who had tried to set him up with a model they were acquaintances with the night before - the reason he had gotten held up. Harry had initially declined, not very interested in seeing anyone else but you. But looking back on that choice in the light of day seemed to solidify what this relationship was - a relationship - and Harry didn’t like that. The commitment wasn’t part of the plan, so he told Jeff to set that date up for after the second show at the Forum and give the woman a ticket. That’s why he was smiling at his phone the morning after only cuddling with you, that’s why he didn’t joke around with you during the show, and that’s why he wasn’t in your bed last night.

You watch him expectantly, silently waiting for his answer, your veins cold as ice. He finally starts his answer and he wants to make it clear that it wasn’t as good with the other woman, but he’s not sure how to work that part in. He’s not sure how to explain to you it meant nothing if your arrangement also apparently meant nothing. You barely even let him get in a sentence. “Yes, but it was just a one time-”

“Alright.”

“What?” He doesn’t understand what you mean when you nod your head and cut him off.

“I told you at the beginning, Harry. Tell me when you sleep with someone else because when you do this is over. It doesn’t matter if she’s the love of your life or a one night stand. I will not be a backup plan, so if you’re able to find other people to sleep with, you don’t need to be sleeping with me.”

He sits in silence for a moment, his jaw dropped open slightly. He’s unable to keep it shut as his mind races about what to say. “Are you mad with me?”

“No, I’m fine. This was just sex. Charlotte will be happy that I’ll be going out with her more.”

Harry’s brow furrows as you shift away from him on the bed, grabbing your phone and beginning to flick through it. You feel numb and you’d like to not think about why.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks because he does care about you, worry is written all over his face. He just can’t commit, not now.

“What would I be mad about, Harry?” You look up and your eyes widen at him, silently asking him to truthfully say why you should be so upset about this revelation. You always knew it would eventually come to an end, you just hadn’t expected so soon. You hadn’t known the last time would be the last time and it broke your heart even if you knew it shouldn’t.

He shifts to reach his hand out to touch your exposed knee. You move away from him and he sighs, looking exasperated. “I- I don’t know. It just seems like we should talk about this.”

“You didn’t even think it was necessary to tell me you were going on a date last night, so I think it’s best if we just left it at ‘it’s fine, see you around’.”

He spreads his hands out across the sheets, examining his rings and painted nails thoroughly. You’re right, he doesn’t really want to talk about this. Well, more so, he’s conflicted. He would like to talk enough that you want to continue your arrangement but he doesn’t want to talk about feelings or emotions. Even if he has those feelings and emotions, they’re just not part of the things he’d like to talk about. “But-” You set your phone down at his first word, “Were you even going to tell me you fucked someone else today if Charlotte hadn’t asked you if it was a date last night? Would you just have come to my room tonight and acted like nothing had changed?”

“I would have told you.”

“Sure.”

“I swear I would’ve. I would never break a promise to you.”

“But you would make a decision that affects the both of us without telling me until afterwards?” Your voice breaks a little and you beg yourself not to cry right now.

“I thought you said this was just sex?”

You laugh humorlessly, in disbelief, “Of course it’s not, Harry! And it hasn’t been for a long time and that’s why you got scared and went and fucked someone else.” He looks at you blankly, unsure what to say, knowing you’re right. You continue, “But I also told you at the beginning of this, that I wasn’t going to try to change you. So this is me not trying to change you.” You sigh when he still says nothing, his expression completely unreadable, even to you. “Why couldn’t you have left it at ‘it’s fine’?” You say finally, barely above a whisper.

He blinks a few times after your final question. He flexes his hand one more time and then stands up from the bed. He adjusts his clothes and stares at you. You feel helpless, but you’re still trying to look pulled together, even after your outburst. You stare back. A thousand words floating through your heads, all the things you want to say and likely never will.

“I know, I’m…” he pauses, trying to get himself to say it, but he can’t. He can’t admit that he’s completely ruined whatever messed up paradise you had created together. “I’ll see you later.”

The apology or lack there of hangs in the air as he walks silently out your door. You don’t move, you barely even blink, still staring at the spot he had just occupied. Your breath finally escapes you, a large sigh. Then some nervous laughter. It was over...just like that. But things like this, left like this are never really over.

It’s awkward for a good amount of the rest of the tour. You hang out with your bandmates more and Harry rarely ever comes out with them after the shows. He either hangs out with Mitch on his own or is going out with random people he knows on the road. You and him speak, but it’s never a lot or about anything relatively meaningful. It’s not the fun back and forth of before or the fiery heat of sneaking around. You try to be normal with him, act like his casual friend and bandmate.

He does his best to do the same, but it’s difficult for him. He doesn’t know how to talk to you anymore. He misses being with you, but can’t bring himself to fix it. He doesn’t do much to right his wrongs with you. He also doesn’t even know what he would want if he did apologize. It scared him to think about the step that came after ‘sorry’ so he saved himself the trouble and never did that part either. One night he texts you: “I’m trying, it’s just hard.” and that’s it. You don’t give him a response, he doesn’t need one. You know he’s trying and he knows you know.

Near the end of the tour, he comes out with the rest of you for drinks one night. Only Mitch is between the two of you in the booth, so you feel closer to Harry than you’ve felt in a long time. The group of you are chatting and having a good time. You somehow get onto a story from when you were still in college. You explain how you had narrowly avoided getting Chlamydia right before your Christmas break junior year. You act out the conversations you imagined would have happened at all your Christmas events if you had indeed gotten it. Your impressions of your mother, father, and sister have everyone laughing the most. Harry is shaking with laughter from your story and you smile at him in appreciation when he says, “That is the funniest story I’ve heard in a long fucking time.”

The rest of the night goes really well, for the most part. No one bickers or is short with each other. Everyone is laughing and drinks are flowing. Eventually Mitch gets up to go to the bathroom and you feel Harry slide back into the booth closer to you after letting Mitch out. Your hand had taken up residence next to your thigh, resting on the vinyl of the booth. You sense something next to it now and notice Harry’s hand is resting close beside it. He shifts his hand closer when he sees that you’re looking down at it. He’s almost touching you and you look up to his eyes, wondering if he’ll close the distance. He makes an imperceptible shake of his head, but you know what he means. As you’re about to shift your hand so that your pinky connects with his, Mitch returns and your head shoots up to his figure. You instantly remove your hand from the vinyl and shift closer to Charlotte. Harry gets up, but doesn’t sit back down once Mitch is settled. He instead walks off to get another drink, risking one last look at the table where he makes eye contact with you, but he doesn’t come back. Mitch informs everyone that Harry went back to the hotel because “he was tired” after Harry doesn’t return and Mitch gets a text. You roll your eyes, sure that you saw him slip out of the side door with a woman he found at the bar after he had gotten his drink. If that’s what ‘tired’ looked like on Harry, it was fine.

You start to speak to Harry on a more regular basis after that night out. It’s not funny or lighthearted. It’s just ‘I saw this song the other day, thought you might like to listen’. It went back and forth, it wasn’t everyday but it was something. The last text between the two of you before you began sharing songs again was his ‘I’m trying it’s just hard’ text that he had sent randomly one night. Then after one of you would listen, you would see each other at sound check and mention the song and what you thought about it. It can be noted that it was Harry who sent the first song.

For Harryween, Adam couldn’t be there. He has some family emergency the day of and doesn’t come with the rest of you to Madison Square Garden or the hotel you were staying at. Thankfully, Charlotte also plays keys and you can play bass. The band had to shift around some things on stage and make minimal changes to the setlist since you weren’t rehearsed on the covers Harry was doing. You spent the whole day running through the chords of those songs with Mitch, trying to memorize them so you didn’t mess it up during the show.

It was weird because for Harryween the setlist was switched up a little from the regular set for Love On Tour. Harry was playing the entire new album as well as half of the first album, Medicine, some of his other unreleased stuff, and about six covers, including old One Direction songs. It was going to be a long show and a challenge for you.

Before the show, Harry pulls you aside, to a dark corner backstage, and your mind flits back to the last time you had been in this type of position. The last time he had called you ‘love’, the last time you bit his earlobe - which always drove him crazy, the last time he ground his hips against yours, those and more and you had no idea that it was the last. By then you had already had sex with Harry for the last time, kissed his lips for the last time. It made your heart race to be so close to him and so alone once again. But it’s nowhere near the same as it once was. You shake the memories from your mind and look up expectantly at him.

“Have you got this?” He asks seriously, tone concerned. Of course it’s a music question, nothing more. Like it always was now.

“Yeah, of course.” His stare is unwavering and you try not to falter from it.

“I can get someone else to cover tomorrow, it was just such a short notice today. You know bass really well too, it made sense.”

“I’ve got this. Seriously, don’t worry, Harold.” You pat his chest lightly and for once Harry smiles at the sound of your nickname for him. You had stopped using it after the end of your arrangement. It never felt right to use when you were talking about music, and that was about the only time you had been talking. In this moment though, it felt right. His warm, large hands held your upper arms as you stared up into his big eyes. You missed staring into them, the shimmering emerald of his irises were constantly intriguing. You instinctively reach up to move back a curl that has fallen onto his forehead. He doesn’t shy away from your touch and continues to smile down at you.

“Y’haven’t called me that in forever.” He grins, his lips a shiny pink from the lip balm he had on.

“No, I suppose I haven’t. But where was the groan? The whole point is to annoy you.” You smile coyly. He tips his head back and laughs, releasing your arms from his grasp as he laughs wholeheartedly.

Then he does a soft groan, a playful sound, “How was that?”

“Eh. I’ll give you a four out of ten. Not enough emotion behind it.” You slide from the area the two of you have been occupying and make your way onto the stage to start dealing with the bass you would be playing. You hear Harry call out to you, “I think I deserve at least a five, maybe even a six!” You turn back for a second to look at him with an unimpressed expression and shake your head no. He laughs again and you hear him even when you walk out onto the stage. You smile to yourself as you pick up the bass.

When he introduces the band, he waits to talk about you last. “And sadly this evening Mr. Adam Prentergest, our usual fabulous bassist, was unable to attend our fancy dress party! However! Our lovely Y/N L/N is also a superb bassist and was kind enough to step into his place. - Anything to add?” He saunters across the stage to you and you laugh kindly, feeling at ease in this part of the stage even though you were usually on the opposite side and further back from the crowd. You nod at Harry and he leans his portable mic towards your lips. You wet them quickly and eye Harry before turning out to the crowd. “Just please go easy on me if the bass sounds a bit wonky. It wasn’t on the job description that I’d be playing songs I didn’t know, with a few hours notice, on not my main instrument.” You say this in a kind of list format, holding up your fingers as you tick off all the ways that this was out of your comfort zone. You scratch your head dramatically after you’re finished and the whole crowd laughs and cheers. The rest of your bandmates chuckle along and Harry nods and smiles at you.

“You’ll do great, love.” He leans into your ear and says without the microphone. Then he winks and turns to go back to the center of the stage. You press your lips together to contain your smile, both happy and concerned about the flip your stomach just did.

The show is going great. Harry is killing it with the crowd. Everything is electric. You’re entirely focussed on your bass playing, but Harry has been coming over every so often to do something fun or have you tell a joke.

“She’s truly the funniest person I know! And I know a fair amount of people I think.” Harry says as he walks over to you have you tell another joke. Mitch has been looking at you and Harry interacting all night and he’s sure that it isn’t your different position that has him coming over and talking to you so much tonight. Something has definitely changed once again. First the pair of you were always together and having fun, then it was silence and stolen glances that neither of you realized you were taking, now it was back to the beginning.

“That’s because you think puns are part of the top tier levels of comedy.” You say easily, “Here, I can guarantee Harry will love this and the rest of you will likely groan.” Then you stop and act as if you’re thinking for a little, everyone’s waiting expectantly. “Sorry, thinking...Well, I’ve got some skeleton puns I could do, they’re very humerus or y’know classic vampire ones..eh but those ones kind of suck. What do you think, Harry?” You look out at the crowd, face deadpan, as Harry laughs beside you. You roll your eyes playfully and push him back to the center of the stage. Leaning into your own mic now, you say, “I told you.” That’s when everyone laughs. Harry throws another look at you over his shoulder and laughs a little more, his smile wide and eyes bright.

A little over half way through the night, it’s time for ‘to be so lonely’. You already knew the bass chords for it before today and you were confident in yourself by now. It wasn’t as hard a song so you were happy for the little break. This song allowed you to not be looking down at the notes you had stuck to the floor in front of you. Harry’s voice comes in after Mitch’s intro and you watch the way his lips move against his mic. You laugh a little as you watch the crowd yell the first “arrogant son of a bitch” line. You used to not particularly like when people did that, but after it had ended with Harry you had started to enjoy it a bit more. Having those people yell the words you couldn’t, but truly felt about him sometimes, was cathartic. Tonight you weren’t angry with him, but you enjoyed the energy in the room when everyone said it. We’ve all got our own ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ that we want to scream at sometimes. Tonight yours wasn’t Harry for the first time in a long time. The song moves along and Harry takes the microphone off its stand, he walks towards your side of the stage. When the lyrics get to:

“I miss the shape of your lips, your wit, it’s just a trick, this is it so I’m sorry”

Harry isn’t looking at the crowd, he’s looking straight at you. You don’t understand the way he’s looking at you. Or maybe you don’t want to understand it. This song, its lyrics, explains Harry really well. You saw the relationship you had with him in the words. Maybe not precisely, but a part of it was in it. Harry had unknowingly foretold your lives with his words. You know he has trouble connecting and committing, you know his issues, and you accept them. But you knew what had happened between the two of you was far more serious than meaningless sex and you knew Harry couldn’t bring himself to be that serious. He ran off and that was fine, but the face that he couldn’t even apologize hurt you the most. But the song lays it all out for you, he’s not one to be able to apologize quickly. The fact that he looks at you and means the apology he sings in the song for you, it’s a big step, but it’s not enough. The banter, the technical apology, it was all a good start, but it’s just that - the beginning. If Harry wants to make things better with you, a lot more needs to be discussed. So when you sing backing vocals for the following chorus you mean the words for Harry completely.

“Don’t call me baby again, you got your reasons, I know that you’re trying to be friends. I know you mean it, but don’t call me baby again it’s hard for me to go home and be so lonely”

His eyes flick to you again and see your lips moving around the words as you play the bass. He sees the emotion in your face and understands what you’re saying. It’s hard for you to go to your room at night and be alone while he’s out with someone else. It’s hard for him to act like everything’s all fine and perfect, back to normal, because for you it isn’t really. He can’t call you ‘love’ and tell the world you’re funny and expect it to be enough. He can’t sing his sorry that was initially for someone else to you and expect you to accept it. And he knows it, too.

After the show everyone decides they’re exhausted and need to rest before tomorrow. You all planned to celebrate the whole day and you knew it was going to be a wicked Halloween. Knowing this, you’re surprised with the knock on your door after about an hour of being back at the hotel. You’ve given up the habit you had once hoped to cultivate and swing the door open haplessly. Truly having no idea who to expect, you are still surprised to find the man standing before you.

“Mitch.”

“We need to talk.” He stares down at you, his shoulders slumped from tiredness.

“Come in,” you usher him in when you hear the urgency of his voice. He saunters in before you and you close the door. You move to the small couch in the room and sit down. Your hands gesture for him to sit as well, but he shakes his head. He stays standing and brings a hand up to smooth his hair back on the right side. His eyes staying on the floor and flickering up to you every so often.

“What is going on with you and Harry?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Y/N. You’re seemingly best friends with him for a good portion of tour, then you’re barely on speaking terms for the second half, now you’re joking around again. What is going on?”

You sit there in a stunned silence, “I don’t know what to say.” Your arms go to hug your body, feeling anxious about being confronted about this topic.

“Were you seeing each other?” His voice is soft, eyes taking in your body language and knowing it’s a difficult topic.

“I wouldn’t put it like that…”

He holds back the ‘I knew it’ statement because of how sullen you look, b..ut in his mind all of the pieces he had watched unfold came to fit in a perfect puzzle. He decides to sit beside you when you don’t say anything else.

“We were having sex,” it felt weird to say it out loud, no one but you and Harry had actually known, “But it ended. I don’t know what today was...but it felt different than how it’s been.”

“Why are you so sad if it was just sex?” He places a hand on your shoulder and your tear-filled eyes meet his. “Oh…” He knows why.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You sob at his apology because he’s not the one who should be at your door apologizing. You sniffle and lean your head into his chest. He takes you into his arms and holds you as your cries become muffled sounds in his shirt.

You cry without words for a few minutes, Mitch coos some soothing words, his voice soft and kind. He was always a good shoulder to cry on for all of your bandmates, he was extremely strong and you made a mental note to thank him thoroughly when you actually were capable of forming coherent thoughts. “I’ve never told anyone before. It feels so weird even saying it out loud,” you say as you pull back from Mitch’s embrace. You're thankful his shirt is black, no tear stains can be made out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks gently, gauging your reaction. You wipe at your eyes and nod.

Taking a deep breath, you decide to start from the beginning. “Do you remember the party Charlotte had a week before we left for tour?”

Mitch nods and his eyes widen at what you’re saying as he remembers the night. “It started back then?” He’s unable to contain his incredulous question. He had suspected something, but hadn’t thought it had been going on for that long. He was truly astounded. You nod, “Well sort of,” then you go on to recount the last couple of months. All the way up until the Forum shows. “That night, when I opened Harry’s door and it was you standing there...Harry and I didn’t have anything to discuss. It was just…” Mitch nods again. He hadn’t spoken much since you had gotten into the story, wanting to let you be in charge of what you were saying and believing he could probably ask questions at the end. “Then the next night he blew me off for his date with that model and I cried in the elevator because I knew what was going to happen next.”

“So that’s when it ended?” Mitch asks when you don’t speak for a rather extended period of time.

“Yeah, the next morning he came over and I asked if they had sex and he said yes so I told him it was over.”

“But I don’t get why he went out with that model. He had told me she wasn’t his type the night before…” Your eyes shot up and looked at Mitch. His eyes widened when he realized what he said.

“What?”

“When we were talking about Canyon Moon, he mentioned that Jeff had tried to set him up with some woman but he had declined. Said he wasn’t interested. I don’t get what changed between then and the next morning.” He figured it was best to put all the cards out on the table right now. You’d be going your separate ways for a while, now that the tour was over and he had seen how unhappy both you and Harry had been over the last part of the tour.

You shift your leg to have it folded beneath you as you continue to stare at Mitch. “He came over after you and him had your meeting,” you say quietly. Mitch hums, waiting for you to continue this time.

“He apologized for choosing you over me to talk to. Then we slept together, but we didn’t have sex...I think that’s what wigged him. It had felt too real, sleeping in the same bed with me without having sex beforehand made it feel like something more than just two people fulfilling needs.” Mitch nods and sighs heavily. He looks around the room and then back to you, taking in your full appearance. Again he feels terrible for you, how he had felt the second night at the Forum even though he hadn’t known the full story yet. “Now we’re here.”

“Tonight, it felt like he was trying,” Mitch finally said and you smiled sweetly, thinking back to Harry’s behavior. No matter how far from him you were, all those good feelings you associated with him never went away.

“Yeah, it’s been getting better. He texted me once saying he was trying. Then he came out with us one night and it almost seemed like that would be the night he’d apologize, but then he didn’t. Then we started sharing music with each other again. Then tonight… was tonight. It’s just confusing. He’s confusing.”

Mitch smiles sadly and brings you in for another hug and you’re actually so thankful he

showed up at your door. It was your first time telling anyone all of this, because Harry didn’t even know how you felt about some of these things. It felt amazing to be heard and to be told it was okay to be feeling like this.

Pulling back, Mitch says, “He’s definitely different. But his differences are what make him special and that’s why I think he clings to them even if they sometimes can hurt other people. The fact that he’s trying is a good sign. I hope he can find it in himself to make it right between you two because I had never seen either of you happier than when you were apparently together. Especially those few weeks leading up to Los Angeles. Sarah had kept asking me why Harry was so smiley back then. When I had asked him, he had just said “have you ever found something and realized you wanted to keep it with you forever?” I had no idea what he had meant, but I feel like he meant you now.”

Your awestruck at what Mitch has just told you. He was right about the first part about Harry trying to change, but the last bit, that’s what had left you speechless. You turn your body to face the rest of the room and put your chin against your hand as you think.

“Mitch...I have to go.”

He understands what you mean and you walk out of the door with him. He walks down the hall to his room and you walk quickly past the elevator and opt for the stairs. Before you know it you’re running up the stairs, taking two at a time even though you’re not the most athletically inclined. You can’t stand to wait for the elevator and your mind is racing.

You knock on the door that is Harry’s after reaching his floor. It swings open and reveals a confused and sleepy Harry. Thankfully he’s still fully dressed because that would have been a whole other problem you would have if he hadn’t been. You push past him and walk straight into his room without any invitation. He follows behind you, still unsure of why you’ve come here.

“Have you ever found something and realized you want to keep it forever?” You ask him, repeating the words Mitch had just told you.

“Pardon?”

“You told Mitch that about me before we ended things. If that’s how you felt, why didn’t you do what you said?”

Harry sighs as the words register in his mind. The memory of when he had smiled at Mitch so giddily and asked the vague question, his thoughts only of you as he asked it. The shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face after Mitch had looked at him confusedly flitted across his mind. As well as the way he had gone to his dressing room and had a quickie with you after that conversation.

“It’s not that simple…”

“It is, Harry! Why can’t you just be honest with me for once?”

“Okay, fine. You want me to be honest?” you nod at his harsh tone. The two of you standing only a few feet apart. “You have no goddamn idea what you do to me, when I’m around you, I have no control of my emotions or of my thoughts. I pushed you away because I didn’t like feeling out of control. I got out because what had started as a fun time had turned into me longing to be with you every waking hour. I found myself not caring what we did as long as I got to hold you and be around you, but that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Plans can change, Harry.”

You step closer to him and he meets your eyes. He had left his music playing softly on his phone before he had opened the door so now as the two of you stared at each other, he must have been playing his Etta James playlist because her voice faded out of the song “I’d Rather Go Blind” and straight into “A Sunday Kind of Love”. Harry had shared her At Last album with you over the Christmas holiday of last year and you had decided to listen to her entire discography afterwards, so you knew the songs. The transition was a little too on the nose and you wondered if Spotify ever listened to your conversations.

His emerald eyes examine your face and take inventory of your features, measuring whether anything had changed since he had looked at you this close up. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek and he nuzzles into it, dropping his head closer to you ever so slightly and closing his eyes at the feeling of you.

“I am sorry,” he whispers earnestly as he reopens his eyes.

You can’t take your eyes off of him even if you tried. He looks so soft in the moment, so vulnerable in this light as the music swells in the corner of the room. Etta sings about how she needs a love that is going to last as the pair of you inch yourselves closer together.

“I forgive you, Harry,” you whisper back.

He nudges his head further down and your lips finally press together, slotting back together after months apart. Your lips are eager to press back against their favorite companion. You oblige them, but pull back for a second, just far enough to say, “I will always forgive you, so long as you tell me when you’re scared so we can work through it together.”

He nods, “I promise to never let you go again.” Before taking you back against his lips and gathering your body up in his arms. His lips missing yours just as much.

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queerlordsimon · 2 years ago

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Ok, I'm a writer who wishes to write. But has no idea what to write. (I have one thing in progress but I'm out of internal fs to give to write it right now)

So, prompts. Characters. Whatnot.

Characters I'll write for.

Twisted wonderland

Pretty much everyone, not the teachers or jamil/grimm.(if you ask for Jamil I will unapologetically do it poorly, sorry) won't do ortho as well, purely because of age. I can not garentee the quality of work if you ask for sebek as I don't know him well, and ace and rook, purely because I don't think I can write them well. But I'd give it a go

My hero

I'm open to writing most characters here as well, except mineta, muscular, endeavor, and tiny children. I cannot garrentee the quality of most of the league, except toga. Dabi, and shiggy. And anyone From class 1-b, but I'll give it a go and try my best. (Also I have only seen to like, halfway through season 3, so I won't be great at those characters, but I'll try

Obey me!

Anyone but Luke, but I'm not well aquinted with thirteen, Raphael, and mephestophelis.

Im not sure or positive on any others that I write a ton for, but feel free to ask if I know it, If I do I'm more then likely willing to try.

I'll do most au ideas. Nsfw or sfw. I'll leave some prompts below for asking as well

kissing in the rain and getting soaked before running inside laughing

playing with their hair while their head in your lap

jolting awake after a nightmare and being comforted

theres only one bed and we sleep as far away as possible from each other but wake up cuddling

you confessed your feelings and were about to kiss but we get interrupted

"you are breathtaking"

"i cant help it, you're fun to mess with

"we both dont want to do this, i know. but you have to understand that we need this."

"why didnt you say h-how bat it was?"

"im not a lot of peoples favourite person."

"no ones ever done that to me before"

"could you play with my hair?"

13. "i cant remember the last time i did this with somesomeon

14. "that feels nice."

15. "i havent been hugged in years"

16. you put your arm around me and i literally felt my knees buckle

17. "i just want to be held for a little while"

18." ive never been in a relationship before, so i dont really know how to do the whole… kissing thing."

19. "take another step, and i cant be help responsible for my actions."

20, " theres only one rule. you cant use your hands."

21. "look deep into my eyes, sweetheart."

22. "i want you to leave marks"

23. "i want to watch you fall apart."

24." i dreamed of you all night"

25. "the things that i want to do to you, baby"

26. i have you shoved against the wall but now i cant stop looking at your mouth.

27. i just told you i like you but now im shy and say, 'never mind, forget it; and why are you looking at me like that?

28. congratulations! one of your dreams has finially come true, let me give you a big hug and wow youre warm

29. "im going to marry you one day"

30. "i was wondering how long you two were going to make out like that before you realize you werent alone."

31. "were you just touching yourself?"

32. "can you please come and get me?"

33. "hey, just look at me, breathe"

34. " you need to eat something."

35. "what happened to you??"

36. "apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together"

37. "cant you see it? the spirit of the dragon is within them"

38."how long have you been covering this?"

39."im way to sober for this."

40. "damn it, why arent you obeying the laws of physics?"

41. "i dont know whats wrong, okay? im just….really tired."

42. "my mind is in a dark place, you dont want to be there."

43."i wasnt born to be soft and quiet. i was born to make the world shatter and shake at my fingertips."

44. "theres a reason im afraid of my own shadow."

45. "their back. i saw them last night, but they wouldnt talk to me and it looked like they had a black eye."

46. "shit, your freezing, lets get you warmed up, alright?"

47. "you cant keep it all inside you know. bottling it up wont do any good"

48. "only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me"

49."sometimes memories are the worst form of tourture."

50. "they were made of ice and glass, but they would risk being broken"

you dont have to request a prompt, just ideas.

just ask character, au/prompt, gender of reader. any other specifics youd like/need (such as a specific idea, sfw or nsfw. ext)

any underaged character will be aged up

#twst #twisted wonderland #mha #bnha #foryou #obey me #prompts #writing #xreader #request #fluff #angst #au #smut

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 3 years ago

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Here have this dinfeld idea i cant get out of my head despite me not having seen s2 in over a year

So its post season 2 finale but some slight changes: they didnt leave Mayfeld on Morrak, Luke didnt show up for Grogu, and idk what to do with the darksaber so im just not going to address it

So everyone's flying "home". Bo-Katan and Koska took the cruiser with them and everyone else is on Boba's ship

And it takes a few days to get to wherever their destination is (Tatooine?). Everyone (cough Din cough) is recovering. And Mayfeld watches everyone else vaguely resemble a family

Now no one (still) wants to answer any of Mayfeld's questions, so he doesnt actually know this is the first time this crew has ever run together. The big difference from Mayfeld's last crew is #1 everyone is actually respecting one other (well, now that Bo-Katan is gone) and #2 that its pretty quiet

The most anyone really talks is when they all play sabacc

So Mayfeld watches these interactions. Fennec and Cara cleaning their equipment together. Boba and Din saying the occasional thing in Mando'a. Fennec and Boba's silent communication and the way Din and Cara can exist in each other's space comfortably. And, of course, how everyone takes turns entertaining or caring for Grogu.

Mayfeld interacts with Grogu too. What is he supposed to do, ignore a baby? What if he starts crying?

Mayfeld breaks the silence with questions. Most go ignored. Most of it is mundane chatter, he does ask why does Boba take his helmet off but Mando cant, and he pokes fun at Cara and Din's "relationship"

Mayfeld figures out they arent dating but that doesnt stop him. He makes comments about their sex life and how Cara is Grogu's mom and yadda yadda

He's watching them one day in the cockpit. Cara is reclining and dosing off in one of the chairs, Grogu asleep on her chest. Din comes up, dressed in a combination of his flight suit and bandages, and sits next to her. And what happens is so domestic. Din looks at them for a minute (and Mayfeld tries not to imagine his face, a face Mayfeld now knows, looking fond) before touching Cara's shoulder. She makes a sleepy noise, turns towards him, and they have a quiet conversation (like parents). Eventually Din takes Grogu, and Cara stands up. Din has his hand on her back as he steers her towards the ladder. And Mayfeld feels his black heart shrivel up. Because they may not be a couple, but they're gonna be

He's wrong obviously but the angst

Eventually Mayfeld's trip through slow social torture ends when they finally dock. Turns out they're dropping Cara (and carbonite Gideon) off. It was decided that they wont send Mayfeld back to prison, as a thank you. Cara will have it put into the system that he died on Morak. So the plan is to drop Cara off, and everyone else is going to Tatooine; for Din to help Boba and Fennec with a "job" and for Mayfeld to either find a life in the desert or catch his own ride off planet

Theres a goodbye of course. Cara grasps forearms with Boba, shakes hands with Fennec, tells Grogu to be good for his dad, and hugs Din before they tap "foreheads" (Cara's forehead, Din's helmet)

They make it to Tatooine in the next day or so

Now either Mayfeld fades into Tatooine's background: becoming a bounty hunter or another criminal type or he ends up in a village as remote and off the maps as Mos Pelgo is

But he hears Fett took over Mos Espa. Maybe he hears Fett is looking for henchmen, and thinks he wouldnt be a horrible guy to work for and maybe he can get the chance to see Mando again...

Anyways his path eventually crosses with Din's again, either through Fett's group or during/the aftermath of one of the Pyke battle(s)

Maybe Grogu is there maybe he's with Luke. I havent thought this far yet im winging it now

And now Mayfeld flirts all the time with him

Din is dying inside that helmet

Mayfeld tries not to give himself hope but he's not wasting a chance

Boba and Fennec are (unofficial) partners and that includes wingmaning/torturing their good friend Din. Mayfeld soon finds him and Mando getting paired up a lot

???? Then Cobb comes out of the tank?? And Cobb flirts with Mando. Mando doesnt stop him. Worse even, Mando is attempting to be friends with him in his awkward way. And apparently, him and Cobb have "history"

History involves Cobb having his village volunteered without his permission to work with their long time enemies to kill a unkillable dragon who Mando then personally exploded. Cobb might let Mayfeld assume they've got more than that though

Ummmmmmm Din is the one to take Cobb back home to Mos Pelgo Freetown, says he's gotta see a mechanic in Mos Eisley and thats on the way so he'll be back tomorrow night

Mayfeld gets drunk at the bar in the throne room. Employees get 40% off and he's using it. Mayfeld is sitting there spiraling about how Din was actually single but the story about the mechanic has to be a cover up (and oh gods was that Mando's way of being considerate of Mayfeld's feelings?) because he's gonna sleep with Cobb and then he wont be single anymore. Fett attempts to comfort him he thinks? He remembers that Fett showed up at one point and sat next to him and then for some reason (something about Cobb and armor) he started imaging Din with a mando spouse and yeah he woke up pretty hungover. That makes him feel extra pathetic

Din shows up in his new fancy remodeled Naboo Starfighter to show off to Boba and Fennec and Mayfeld. Mayfeld finds out he's been working with someone named Peli to fix it up for the last month. Mayfeld realizes Din was actually with a mechanic yesterday.

Hungover and sunburnt Mayfeld decides to make his move right there in the hot suns

Later Din asks why, since Mayfeld hated the fact he wouldnt show his face before he actually saw it and always makes helmet comments when insulting Din's sex life

#hinacu sw #the mandalorian #tbobf #dinfeld #migs mayfeld #din djarin #i maintain the view keldabe kisses are forms of affection and not romantic #i ran outta ideas at the end sorry

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red-dyed-sarumane · 9 months ago

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keeping in mind i love rime & will listen to any rime song regardless of tuning if the rest of it goes hard & also i have some experience actually using her. here we go.

laboratory - 12/10. this is THE definitive rime usage to me. putting aside my bias and just focusing on how rime sounds here. she is SOOO unbearably cute and SO incredibly smooth theres no part that feels like she's struggling or straining THIS is what working with rime sounds like. also the. very slight emotional waver towards the last lyrics is just such a nice touch that fits in seamlessly. god i need more of this style of rime so bad u have no idea

kono inochi wo hibikasetai to omotta no da - 8/10 unlike the previous this one leans more on a deeper, cooler style. very good. this song works with rime in such a good and fun way. working with her quirks using the note changes so everything is entirely stylistic and intentional sounding. it makes it so what couldve been difficult to listen to, sounding strained, into something that, while perhaps not natural, is a fun transition that is relatively smooth given the application. very good rime but its a very specific usage i dont see working in most other songs so i greatly appreciate this one.

aitou, soshite nichijou wa tsuduku - 6/10 absolutely adorable rime. love the cute factor here. there are parts where she sounds like shes maybe straining a bit & that detracts from my score here. i do think it fits the mood & its not particularly bad or difficult to listen to like other rime songs so it still ranks pretty high.

ookami - 10/10. easily. she's solidly in the middle between cool and cute (which to me she naturally leans on the cute side so i still find this cute) and so shows off her more "natural" side more. this is just SO smooth between the natural range and the incredibly high range & the jumps between them she never sounds like she's struggling. its very fast and yet she doesnt swallow sounds. the higher portions really match the song & make it sound like shes screaming out about it. and fucking WOW that last high long note always blows me away its clear and sharp and like an intentional scream rather than her struggling. absolutely amazing rime

mandarin - 3/10. i really do like this song i would love to rank it higher unfortunately the only thing it has going on is that shes on the cute side. otherwise its so not smooth. theres so many parts she sounds like shes having the worst time or at least a hard time changing notes. give my girl a glass of water & let her do some retakes or something. this is not it for me. if i showed this to my irl friends they would make fun of her (playfully but still). if i was trying to get someone to like rime this song would be pretty far down the list of songs i show them.

ghost - 2/10. dont get me wrong the song fucks i listen to it A Lot but rime is like. i have no clue whats going on with her. she sounds so unsteady. are we threatening her to sing this song or something bc like thats the best i can come up with. its not even thats shes strained but its just weirdly unnatural that i again would never use this song to try to get someone into rime. if it were a different song i would be like yeah emotional waver excellent however it just doesnt make sense to me in this song. its not a happy song no but its also not one that justifies sounding about to break into tears or something.

usureru - 6/10. now THIS one the other hand absolutely warrants that unsteady sound and i only say unsteady as in the way it sounds when someones on the verge of tears. this is how u work with rime. not to mention the whole song isnt like that theres plenty of smooth rime too. its more of a deeper rime than i personally prefer but overall she doesnt sound like shes struggling at all & i like the execution a lot. ignore hime this isnt about her (but the two do work very nicely together)

yousui ni oboreru - 8/10. one of the rime songs ever i would absolutely use this as a song to get people into rime. she's on the cool side here rather than cute & it keeps to a somewhat lower range as well. which suits the song theme. she's very very smooth & while u can certainly hear her quirks in it, it's never jarring & worked into the song well. u couldnt pay me to complain about this rime. its not my perfect rime no but its a very very solid rime & i appreciate it greatly

heavenly - 10/10 holy fucking shit do i love fuyuu's rime i cannot explain to u how much i love fuyuu's rime. heavenly is similar in style tuning wise to both crow crow & capsule so most of what i say here also applies to those two. fuyuu's rime is VERY VERY cool she has that deeper whispery feel going on & it feels very right for her. she never sounds like she's struggling and everything is very intentional. heavenly in particular uses her so well bc its so dynamic with her. she can do the emotional waver she can be very steady she has more power in some parts & more neural sound in others and oh my god the pitch bends on certain lyrics that makes it sound like shes playing with you. like i dont know how to explain it beyond she has emotion that many many many people do not take the time to get vocal synths to express. absolutely fantastic rime fuyuu's easily my favorite rime user

gradation days - 10/10 okay yes this is still fuyuu's rime its still the mid-lower rime & she still has the whispery feel. but this ones different from the others. she's slightly clearer and (for fuyuu) shes more on the cute side. there's something emotional in her voice unlike the other songs. like a sense of upset frustration. like listening to someone go off about their fresh bad break up they wont be over for the next 4 months. it compels me to care about her in new ways.

an•antidote - 10/10 as a person whos used rime to some extent this one blows me away. u have everything in this. the main rime vocal has her at neutral-cool type of sound but u can undoubtedly hear the cute type rime in parts. theres the lalala parts that are very very pretty. and then theres the whole rest of the song thats like all over the place and goes from more natural lower notes to super high notes in quick jumps and during all of that chaos shes entirely controlled and smooth. theres no real sign of her struggling or sounding strained. this is legitimately an incredibly intensive/hard rime to pull off it astounds me. satsuki REALLY put effort into this & its so worth it its so so good.

okay folks what if list of the rime songs i like where i rate the usage of rime

#rime #theres a lot more songs obviously but i dont remember what tumblrs link limit is & i dont care to find out the hard way #these are the most important ones anyway #rime can be AMAZING if u work with her but alas some people do not use her that way #my personal rime settings are like. alpha set to max cute husky set to slightly below default #& then i look at her pitch line & go 'girl u live like this?' & spend as long as i need to so she doesnt sound like shes dying #i have GOT to use her oh my god i can do her justice. the rest of a song & mix no. but i can tune rime decently.#anyway i think a lot of her initial songs do not do her justice. they arent bad songs at all just that like. rime herself is not #at full potential #like the atols song. so close to making her so pretty with very nice tuning but its still somehow rough to listen to #THIS IS ALL PERSONAL TASTE. u can like whatever rime u want. and i will like my specific taste in rime #we can coexist

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shoezuki · 4 years ago

Note

What are some of your favorite au ideas/headcanons about the arctic anarchists?

anon this ask made me realize i have done Nothing like. headcanon related in terms a mcyt shit and. wow. thats shocking that used to be my Brand in other fandom circles lkhsl;hsg anyways uh heres randomass hc’s

technoblade is avoiding home. he gave the go-ahead to let ranboo stay and he Likes ranboo but the last time some kid was in his house.... it didnt go well. hes Avoiding that all over again. also confrontation scary

ranboo is also Very Horrified for when techno goes back to the commune like. philza is great, he’s a friend. technoblade is a ‘friend’ but holy SHIT he’s terrifying. that guy is a force to be reckoned with and like. what if ranboo does something Wrong? also. confrontation scary.

basically; both ranboo and technoblade are socially awkward messes. philza is tired of them but doesnt step in (yet)

technoblade goes home. he sees none of his things have been touched. his house is intact. theres no ugly cobblestone towers. thats all good signs

philza points to the lil nook in the mountain where he wants to make a dog pen and technoblade sees some makeshift shack already constructed

the cow farm causes him to recoil for just a split second but he ignores that

when ranboo first meets technoblade he stutters and basically shoves the New axe of peace he made for techno in his hands, rambles on about getting them more emeralds and how he Swears he didnt touch anything ever

technoblade shows affection through Giving. when ranboo gifts him a new axe to make up for the one that tommy took he is like. he has to take a few moments ok . he leaves ranboo suddenly

from ranboo’s perspective technoblade like. goes completely silent, back straight, doesnt say a word, and then skulks off. ranboo is writing his will out after that

technoblade Cant like. rationalize this right now hes losing his mind so ofc he goes to phil

“philza he gave me an axe. its netherite.” “Oh yeah, he’s been sayi--” “what is he planning he’s plotting something.” “WHAT”

Philza has to convince techno that, no, ranboo isnt using some extreme manipulation tactics against him. and then he has to convince ranboo that No he isnt going to get killed. bonding times :)

no matter how much philza insists that ranboo can take whatever he wants, ranboo Refuses to take any a their things or use anything unless philza basically Shoves it right in his hands. so philza does. constantly

technoblade is trying to Keep Some Distance but like. he’s gotta be nice yknow? so he gifts ranboo things by leaving them in his ‘house’ when he’s away

its always smaller things, like dyes ranboo was talking about getting or food.

ranboo doesnt even realize its from technoblade he just assumes that he forgot he got it and moves on. technoblade doesnt ever bring it up

phil catches technoblade trying to sneak in and leave something while ranboo is sleeping and he (quietly) yells at him

ranboo tries explaining how eyecontact Feels to him to the both of them Really Anxiously and that it’s like ‘physically uncomfortable’ but technoblade interupts

‘wait but isnt that normal’

theres a very long awkward silence before technoblade changes the subject completely

philza is Very used to technoblade’s not so human traits (hiding ‘valuables’ away from them, talking to the voices under his breath, distracted by gold easily, a sort of ‘bloodlust’ if hurt, snorts and squeals when he forgets to repress them) but he is Not used to ranboo’s habits

the first one noticed is that ranboo is... not exactly stealing. but he Always seems to want some block in his hand. he doesnt seem to realize it, picking up things, walkin around, fiddling with it, and then putting it down somewhere random

leads to some arguments with techno before they find their enchanting table in the nearby village

Ranboo is Always Aware of when someone looks at him. philza will glance at him from inside techno’s house through the window, and then suddenly ranboo bolts upright and stares directly at him. philza Always jumps out of his skin

once techno watched as ranboo yawned, his entire jaw cracking and stretching open wide to show rows of thin teeth. techno hasnt been the same since

technoblade berates ranboo’s little ‘shack’, sayings its lame and ‘philza probably thinks its ugly’ ranboo just shrugs but one day he returns home late at night to see technoblade Attempting to build an Actual House for him

ranboo clears his throat and technoblade attacks on instinct. philza patches him up and techno says sorry really briefly then leaves. ranboo keeps finding diamonds and golden apples in his house now

sometimes ranboo finds technoblade just laying in the middle of his cow pen. he doesnt question it

ranboo starts writing little things that like. he wouldnt usually write in his memory book. ‘unimportant’ things

moments like times he spent brushing all the dogs in the kennel, brewing potions with phil and techno in near silence together, weird little ‘catchphrases’ techno says, that time he watched technoblade trip over his own cape. little things

it takes a while for technoblade to be Really and truly comfortable around ranboo. and frankly ranboo doesnt even notice any change. philza does

technoblade makes ranboo clothing to match the aesthetics and actually gives it to him, even specifically making it extra warm since ranboo never lived somewhere so cold

philza instantly notices when he stops carrying Any sort of weapon when ranboo is around at home.

at some point ranboo calls it home for the first time and like. techno’s ears flick in his direction. he’s perked up for the entire walk home. shifting his eyes in ranboo’s direction but not quite

philza cooes over it and pokes fun of techno later that day and technoblade huffs at him but doesnt say anything

#mcyt #technoblade #philza #ranboo #ghhhhhgg #thankyou anon kjagfklsgklsgh #Anonymous

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flashflashhundredyarddash · 4 years ago

Text

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

#this took. two fucking hours #batfam #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #cassandra wayne #not sure which one to commit to yet #tim drake #duke thomas #damian wayne #dc #the burd squawks #birdflash #birdflash was like. one of my first ships lmao

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ange1s · 4 years ago

Text

cherry emoji - mark lee

synopsis: in which mark asks to see your boobs, and the idea you had of your relationship is thrown up in the air.

wc: 3.6k

genre: this is so fluffy it hurts, some angst but nothing crazy

tw: suggestive themes (boobs), swearing

playlist: pluto projector by rex orange county, ivy by frank ocean, tapestry by bruno major

a/n: guess whos back ,, back again ,,, ange1s back ,,, tell a friend,,,, also this is unedited so i'm sorry if theres a mistake :')

my anon asks are open !! feel free to ask me anything or request something <3

“i have a weird question.” mark says timidly. you’re sat on the floor, your back against his bed playing a rhythm game on your phone. he is sat at his desk, parallel to his bed, but with the rolling chair swivelled around to face you straight ahead. you don’t look up.

“hmm.” you hum, focused on the game.

mark swallows. “can i see your boobs?”

you drop your phone into your lap, forgetting about the game. you look up at him, straight into his eyes, and you giggle.

“wait, what?”

mark avoids your eyes almost fearfully, as if you were a detective questioning him for a crime. “can i see your boobs?” softer, this time.

you let out a shallow laugh. “don’t you watch porn? there are boobs there.”

mark blushes. “no! i mean, yes i do, but not real boobs.”

you cross your arms under your boobs on purpose, just to push them up a little higher to drive him nuts. mark sits back in his chair in frustration.

“so you think women aren’t real? that all boobs in porn are fake? jeez mark i thought you cared about women-“

“no! that’s not what i meant!” he says, exasperated. he continues to avoid eye contact with you. “of course i don’t think-“

you laugh again, keeling over. “relax mark, i know you don’t think all women are plastic.”

“look, there’s nothing wrong with being plastic, women can do whatever they-“ mark speaks quickly and nervously as if he were on trial.

“shut up minhyung,” you cut him off with a softer, more serious tone. “why do you want to see my boobs? you’re famous and cute. you could instantly find boobs wherever you go.”

he chuckles. “the word boob is so funny.”

“not the point, minhyung!”

he leans back over, the embarrassment slowly washing away. “stop calling me minhyung!”

“never, minhyung!” you retort without even thinking. you stand up to sit on his bed, now at eye level with him. “now, explain.”

“i… i dunno. i’ve just never seen boobs before. like, in person.”

you look directly at him, brain not even thinking anymore. words just fly out of your mouth with ease. “were you breastfed?”

“y/n!” he exclaims out of frustration. the embarrassment fizzles back in. he throws his head to the back of his chair and covers his eyes with his palm dramatically. he runs his hand down his face, tugging on the soft skin as it travels down. as his hand makes it back down to his lap, you giggle a little louder. “my mom’s boobs don’t fucking count. god, you made me think of my mom’s boobs. what the fuck?”

“sorry,” you manage in between giggles. “sorry, this is so funny.”

“this is impossible. i knew i shouldn’t have asked you.” mark pulls himself out of the chair and heads for the door, but you’re just as fast as him.

“now wait…” you grab his wrist to keep him from leaving. a wave of guilt washes over you. “i was just kidding.”

“were you? you didn’t sound like you were.” he says, his face still turned away from yours.

he sounds strangely hurt. “mark, are you okay?”

mark turns to face you and he looks defeated. he slumps down on the floor next to you, his knees up near his chest and his head in his hands.

“mark…”

“they were making fun of me.”

“who?”

“my friends! they were making fun of me. god, i sound like such an idiot now, whining about my friends like this, oh my god. i sound like a child.”

you rest your elbow on his shoulder giving your hand access to run through his soft, black hair. “you don’t sound like a child. you’re allowed to get upset.”

you take note at how the air shifted in the room. how quickly you focused and listened. you’re only like this around mark. with him, conversations can shift in an instant to anything. you understand each other on a deep, personal level. it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever have with another person for your entire life. maybe your soulmate. honestly? you can only dream to have this sort of connection with your soulmate, a connection so alive and so full of trust. is it even possible to have this with someone else? the fact that mark can make you think about how much he trusts you during a conversation about boobs is something only mark can make you feel. no one else. just him.

has it always been just him?

“it’s so stupid though. one minute lucas is bugging me about the fact that i’m a virgin and i’ve never seen boobs before and the next minute i’m on the floor of my bedroom with you, still not having seen any boobs mind you, nearly crying. damn. this is the lowest point i will ever reach.”

you push his hands away from his face and place your hands on his cheeks instead. “mark, please don’t cry. i hate it when you cry.”

the last time you saw mark cry was a month ago after watching a disney movie. seeing him cry just makes you cry, and since you were already crying, you just cried harder. seeing you cry makes him cry too, so he cried harder as well. the two of you just cried together until your heads hurt, to which you both took tylenols and tried to dance it off.

“i’m pathetic. insecure and pathetic.”

this is when you realize that there is more depth to his feelings than you thought.

“look, mark, i’ll show you my boobs. i trust you. i’m honestly surprised you haven’t seen them accidentally yet since i’ve known you for so long.” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. didn‘t work. “but i get the feeling that there’s more to this then just boobs.”

mark never really vented to you like this before. despite how close you are, he still kept things from you growing up, as a teenage boy does. you never took offense to this, as you kept plenty from him too. he never quite talked about his insecurities, his fears. he didn’t want to burden you with them. mark, so sweet and thoughtful. maybe too much for his own good. he needs to learn to share things.

he's starting to, though.

it takes him a while to speak, avoiding your eyes entirely. he speaks lowly, as if he was scared to tell the world what he was about to say.

“it’s just… everything about this sucks. everything. i’m kinda scared to tell you things, which can make us drift apart because we lose trust. then again, if i do tell you things, i’m scared it’ll freak you out and i’ll lose you. those are both bad endings. then, i’m scared to put myself out into the world. like, lucas is telling me to just find someone. go out, ask for a number, have a good time, live like someone in their 20s should be living. i can’t really do it though. every time i try, i choke. lucas once tried to set me up, you remember that, right?”

“yeah, that was the girl who stood you up.”

“yeah. it’s awful. every time i try it fails. i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of why it fails every single time but i just couldn’t. but then, i realized.” he shifts and faces you causing your hands to fall off his face and into your lap. “when i came home after being stood up, i wasn’t sad. i forgot the moment i left the restaurant. i texted lucas that the date didn’t happen and just shut my phone off and went to your place. i wasn’t sad because i knew i had you. i knew that you were going to make me feel better and that made it all go away.” he pauses. “you know? sometimes i get worried that i put too much on you. you’re my happiness, my relaxation, my joy. i worry sometimes that you’ll suffocate because i take so much from being with you. i keep this in the back of my head all the time because i just don’t want you to go. ever.”

holy shit.

“mark…”

“let me finish. i talked about this with lucas, and he told me that i can let myself be selfish sometimes. he said that i can want this that… that i can want you. i can think about you and how you make me happy and i can want that happiness yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and the day after. shit, i care about you more than anything. my heart swells and my stomach gets all these annoying little butterflies when i think of you. it’s fucking crazy. and now, today, here i am. you know, lucas, jaemin and i were talking about girls and boobs and fuck i don’t know, jaemin said that i just had to get that intimacy with someone. and it just fucking clicked. the only person i want to be intimate with is you and i’m thinking now that maybe i was stupid for asking to see your boobs. which is so stupid, i could’ve just asked to kiss you or share a bed with you or i don’t know. i’m really sorry if that was gross of me. i just wasn’t thinking. it’s so damn hard to think straight when it comes to you. i just really want to be closer to you, however that might be.”

your heart races at a speed that doctors would deem impossible. you don’t know what to think or where to look. you feel like you’re going to explode. though, if you explode, he’ll probably explode too. that wouldn’t be good.

mark looks down. he fills with regret. he doesn’t think he should've said that. maybe you'll hate him now. maybe you’ve never felt this way about him before.

you inhale slowly, trying to convince your lungs that breathing is normal and not something that can just stop when hearing speeches like this.

what is the proper thing to say? mark i love you? but do you love him? everything is so confusing right now. of course you love him, but you never considered love in this way. can i kiss you? too forward? but he wants intimacy, and you want it too. i feel the same way? boring. you can do better. mark, and his way with words. so beautiful. how do you compete? mark, you’re beautiful. mark is so beautiful. you try so hard to compose the words. maybe too hard. maybe it’s okay to go with option 3.

now, they just flow out. “mark… i think i feel the same way you do. i don’t know it’s just- i’ve always felt some sort of way toward you. something is so special about you. i spent years trying to decipher it, thinking it was just something platonic or brotherly or i dunno. i just never considered… this. i don’t even know what to call this. but it feels right. you’ve always felt right.”

he has. and he always will. he looks at you so lovingly, his enamoured gaze stuck on you. you can’t look up at him, but he watches you.

you continue. “fuck, i don’t know what to say. i’m so… god.” you run your fingers through your hair, as if to comb your brain in search for the right words. “i think you’re so beautiful. everything about you. and i’m so fucking grateful to have someone as amazing as you in my life. i don’t know what i did to deserve someone like you, and i feel like i really don’t deserve you. but it feels right. to be with you. to be alone with you. it’s just right.”

you let a little tear trickle down your cheek. you know if you look up at him, you’ll probably cry harder. you know this well, yet you look up.

“i don’t know what i did to deserve you either.” mark sighs. it’s his turn to wipe your tears now.

“so… what is this? what… are we?” you ask, melting into his hand, which somehow feels softer on your face.

“i don’t know. we can be whatever you want us to be.”

you playfully punch his shoulder, his hands sliding off your cheeks. “come on, you know i hate it when you say that.”

he gets defensive. “and you know i hate it when you hit me! you have a strong hand, yanno? shit!”

you laugh at him, clearing the last unwanted tear off your cheek with the pad of your thumb. “what can i say? gained strength from all those pillow fights over the years.”

“yeah, pillow fights i won.”

“shut up! you know i won the one at jeno’s party!”

mark laughs aloud. your favourite sound. “yeah, because everyone was drunk and you were still on your second drink. it was a very unevenly matched fight!”

“i still won!” you cross your arms and sit up straight as if you assert dominance over the conversation. who are you kidding? it’s all a joke anyways.

you crack after a moment and both of you erupt in a fit of giggles. his head falls into the crook of your neck, and it feels right. it’s almost as if your skin buzzed. you don’t know why, he’s done this many times before. but now, it’s different. the air has shifted again, so quickly. only with mark.

when he comes off of your neck, you stand up. you walk up to the door of his room, and lock it.

“y/n, what-“

you sit on his bed. “can’t have someone walk in while you’re ogling at my boobs, right? i know you and you’d never be able to live that down.”

mark is quick to stand up in defence. “what? no, we don’t have to do that anymore. i said my piece and im over the boob thing and-“

“shut up mark. you know you want to. and i kinda wanna show you too.”

he sits down on the bed across from you without another word but before either of you can move, he speaks again. “wait, kinda? please don’t feel obligated. only do this if you’re-“

“minhyung, please! i want to, ok? i really appreciate how you’re taking care of me but it’s fine. i trust you, and you trust me, right?”

he swallows hard. “right.”

“okay, perfect.” you pull your shirt off over your head, leaving you in your bra. if this was with any other boy, you’d be self conscious about literally everything: the bra you chose, the shape of your body, the hair in the places you let grow out. with mark, none of it matters now. he’s seen you in bathing suits before, this isn’t much different. and knowing how much he cares for you anyways, you know his head is clouded with praise and nothing less. his brain is working so fast right now, he probably won’t even register any imperfections.

“can i take your bra off?” mark sputters out as if he were holding onto the words for hours. “or wait, fuck-“

“yes, you can.”

he is almost shocked at your answer, and it shows. mark’s hands move slowly, his skin slightly cold as he grazes your skin. he leans in unbelievably close to wrap his arms around you to reach your back. he feels your breath on his chin, and your beautiful eyes look so sweet as you look up at him. when he finds the clasp, he kisses your nose as he pulls away, your bra coming back with him. you straighten your arms so the straps fall right off, showing your boobs.

mark is shocked. flabbergasted, even. his jaw almost drops in a shameless, teenaged boy way.

“dang. they’re so cute.”

you scoff. “cute? first boobs of your life and all you have to say is cute?”

“well what else can i say? i am not very well versed in the vast vocabulary that exists to describe your boobs.” he chuckles. “jeez, why is the word boob so fucking funny?”

you can’t help but smile timidly alongside him. that is what mark does, he makes you feel safe no matter what the situation. mark is always worried about you, worried if you are feeling comfortable and if you are okay with what is going on. he never wants things to be tense when you are around, because he hates to see you upset.

right now, you are the opposite of upset.

“y/n,” he brings your attention back to him. you hum in response. “can i touch?”

you freeze for a moment, and nod timidly. mark scoots a little bit closer, and reaches out with his right hand to gently cup your left breast. his hand is warm, and your skin needs a second to adjust to his temperature. he squeezes the flesh in the absolute slightest way, and quickly brings his hand back. he laughs almost exasperated.

“oh my god, it’s squishy? boobs are squishy?! why did that never register in my head?” he laughs loudly, as if he had just discovered something monumental.

“you’re just finding out now? oh my god mark, that’s common knowledge!”

mark looks down, his cheeks red from laughing. “dang, i’m so touch starved that i never knew until now that boobs are squishy. insanity.”

“the more you bring it up, the sadder it gets.” you reply.

he looks up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “don’t be mean. can i touch again?”

“yes, you can.”

mark cups your left boob with his right hand again, this time running his thumb softly over the supple skin. he doesn’t know what his limits are yet. can he go further? can he touch other parts of your boobs? can he touch other parts of your body? he is scared of going too fast and scaring you. mark is doing his very best today to be as careful as possible, as this is probably, remarkably, the best day of his life so far.

he pushes his index finger into your boob gently to poke it, and you laugh softly. at this point, you are just looking down at mark’s hand on your body. honestly, the fact that he isn’t doing anything is almost relaxing.

you look at how slowly his finger moves, like your skin is made up of the most delicate material in the world. he holds you with such care, such control. it is a feeling you want to feel again, and again, and again.

mark inhales slowly. he wants to go further. he wants more. he doesn’t know how you feel yet, but he will wait for you every step of the way.

but just as he opens his mouth, he hears a thud on his door. “mark hyung, we’re home! is y/n here? come eat with us!”

you both jump, as jaemin’s loud voice destroys the entire atmosphere. mark turns a cute shade of pink almost immediately, and takes his hand off of your skin. you are surprised at first, but lose all tension as you watch mark’s reaction. the poor boy is so embarrassed, but even more upset at how shortly your time was cut off. you laugh as he grabs your bra and tries to put it back on you. unfortunately, he cannot figure out how to close the back shut.

“i’m here! we’ll be there in a sec.” you shout, sparing mark from saying something stupid. you clip your bra straps together, and pull your shirt back on.

mark looks upset. “i’m so sorry they cut us off. they were supposed to be out all day, fuck. i’m sorry-”

“mark, baby, it’s okay. you didn’t know. besides, this isn’t ending here.”

mark looks up at you. “baby?”

“oh gosh, i don’t know where that came from. i’m sorry.”

“no no, its cute. i like it. baby. it just…”

“makes sense?”

he nods. “yeah. this makes sense. it really does.”

mark’s heart pounds in his chest as he takes your hands in his. today, they feel softer, warmer. he inhales sharply once again, hoping this time jaemin doesn’t break his door down, or something of the sort.

his thumb does the thing again, rubbing your skin gently. “y/n, i don’t want to be friends anymore. i think we are more than friends.”

you smile. “i do too. this makes sense.”

mark feels like he is going to explode. that would be bad though, because if he exploded, you would too. that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

“so i guess you’re my girlfriend now.”

you giggle softly. “that sounds so much better than best friend.”

“dang, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”

you let go of his hands and climb off his bed. he follows instantly after you do. right before you go to unlock the door, mark takes your hand once again, and turns you to face him.

you heart races as you lock eyes with him. you cannot believe everything that happened today. how your best friend, who you’d known for your whole life, confessed everything he felt for you, and poked your boobs mere minutes after. and that’s okay, because that’s mark. your mark.

“do we have to go down? i really want to see your boobs again.”

you lean over and place a kiss on his cheek, which causes him to lose his train of thought completely. “you’ll see them again soon, i promise. but if we don’t go down, jaemin will come upstairs and try opening your door. you know him, he’ll freak out when he sees that it’s locked. we’d get found out before we even have a chance to start.”

mark sighs. “fine. no more boobs today. guess i’ll just have to suffer without your boobs in my hands. shit, how am i going to survive?”

you unlock the door, and twist the handle. “well baby, i guess you’ll have to figure it out.”

#neowritingsnet #nct fluff #nct mark #mark lee #nct 127 fluff #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct angst #nct 127 angst #nct dream angst #i love mark lee #mark imagines #mark lee loml

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waitimcomingtoo · 5 years ago

Text

My Girl - Oh Baby

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: everyone things Paddys crush on you is adorable. Everyone except Tom.

Check out the full series:

My Girl

My Girl - Something Blue

Regular Masterlist

A/N: another story where I mention chickens. Also, where are my gleeks

“I still can’t believe you bought chickens.” You laughed at a photo of Tom and his chickens before shutting your phone off and setting it on your nightstand. You rolled over in bed to face Tom as he let out a sigh.

“I had to!” He protested. “They’re not that bad. Our family of two has become a family of 5 now.”

You watched him carefully, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before you asked the question that had been weighing on you.

“What about expanding our family even more?” You asked him, impatiently waiting for his reaction.

“Honestly, Angel, I love you but I can’t handle anymore chickens.” Tom looked at you apologetically and you laughed.

“No, I didn’t mean more chickens.” You shook your head and he raised an eyebrow.

“Another dog?” He questioned. You took this as an opportunity to take his hand and squeeze it.

“A baby.” You said softly. Toms eyes lit up at a happy smile appeared on his face.

“What?” He leaned in closer to you to make sure he was hearing you correctly.

“I want to have a baby, Tom.” You repeated. “I want to start our family.”

“You want to have a baby? A human baby?” His smile got impossibly wider.

“Preferably.” You chuckled.

“Really? Like really, really?” He sat up and squeezed your hands, looking at you with all the hope in the world

“Really, really.” You cupped his face and beamed at him. “So what do you say?“

“I say let’s make a baby.” Tom said triumphantly before pulling you into a kiss.

“We have an announcement.” Tom said excitedly as he stood before his family. It reminded him of the time he’d announced your engagement, or even the time he first told his brothers that he was dating you. He snuck a glance at you, admitting how far you’d come together. From his childhood crush to his wife, and soon the mother of his child.

“Divorce.” Paddy jumped up, ruining Tom’s daydream. “We all saw it coming.”

“What? No.” Tom quickly shut him down.

“Why are you smiling?” Harry questioned his younger brother.

“Lots of marriages end in divorce.” Paddy shrugged. “It’s okay, Y/n. It’ll be okay.”

You looked at Tom in amusement who had his hands firmly on his hips.

“What about me?” He snapped at Paddy. “And why am I bothered that you wouldn’t comfort me in my hypothetical divorce?”

“You have an announcement?” Nikki tried to bring the conversation back.

“Yes. We do.” Tom pointed at him mom before taking your hand in his. “Y/n and I are trying for a baby.”

“Ahhh!” Nikki screamed and got off the couch, running to hug you. Dom went to Tom and patted him on the back proudly.

“This is great news, Tom. I’m so happy to hear it.” Dom congratulated his son.

“Congrats, man.” Harry enveloped Tom in a bear hug.

“I’m the one you should be congratulating. I’m gonna be an uncle!” Sam joined in on the hug.

“But I’ll be the superior uncle.” Harry popped his head up from the hug to glare at Sam.

“There’s no one superior to Uncle Sam. Ask America.” Sam scoffed.

“We’re English.” Tom deadpanned.

“And? They beat us in all those wars. Maybe they’re onto something.” Sam retorted.

“I can be the fun uncle, you’ll be cool uncle, and Paddy will be the uncle that’s been staring off into space ever since Tom and Y/n announced they were trying for a baby.” Hardy joked as they turned their attention to Paddy. He wasn’t wrong. Ever since Tom made the announcement, Paddy had been staring off in a blank daze.

“Paddy? You all right?” Tom asked wearily.

“Do I seem all right?” He said without releasing his gaze.

“You seem possessed.” Harry remarked.

“You guys can’t have a baby!” Paddy sputtered, snapping his attention to you and Tom.

“Here we go.” Tom sighed, knowing the gripe was ahead.

“You’re so young and Tom is so immature and Y/n already works so hard while Tom plays dress up and…” Paddy stopped and took a deep breath, his eyes landing on the look on your face. You had been smiling before he spoke, and now you weren’t. He recalled the conversation he’d had with you at the wedding, how happy you were when he finally accepted your relationship with Tom. He sighed and gave a gentle smile. “And I’m really happy for you guys.”

“You are?” Your eyes lit up. Paddy gave you a gentle smile and a nod.

“Yeah. Toms taken care of me all my life. It’s time he takes care of someone else.” He decided. You broke into a huge smile and ran to hug him.

“Thanks, Paddy.” You said as you wrapped your arms around him. “I’m glad that you feel that way.”

He hugged you back, pleased with himself for making you happy. Maybe he didn’t support your relationship, but he was never gonna stop trying to make you happy.

Later that night, you and Tom sat in bed, brainstorming ideas for the baby’s name.

“If it’s a boy, how about Neil Patrick Holland?” You suggested as you flipped through a baby book.

“Dare I say I’ve never heard a worse idea.” Tom chuckled as he looked up from his own parenting book.

“Really? I think it’d be funny.” You shrugged as you turned your attention back to the book.

“It won’t be funny when our child resents us for giving him that name.” Tom pointed out and you chuckled.

“Fine. How about Hamlet?” You suggested and Tom gave you a tight lipped smile.

“Why don’t you let me think of the names, yeah?” He said as politely as he could.

“Well what were you thinking?” You challenged him.

“Well, for a girl, I was thinking Beth.” He said timidly, nervous of your reaction. A small smile lit up your features, all the way to your eyes. You shut your book and looked at Tom fondly.

“Beth? Like our wedding song?” You asked. He nodded shyly.

“Exactly.” He said. “Or maybe Charlie for a boy?”

“Like your grandpa.” You recognized the name.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” He wanted time make sure you were okay with it too.

“I don’t mind at all.” You reached over and laced his hand in yours. “I love those names.”

“And I love you.” Tom leaned in to kiss you. You went back to reading your books, still holding hands. After a beat of silence, Tom reached the bottom of his page.

“Baby?” Tom spoke gently.

“Yeah?” You replied, still reading.

“How do we turn the pages?” Tom asked.

“Is it time?” Tom nervously cracked his knuckles after waiting the longest five minutes of his life. You nodded curtly and picked the pregnancy test up from the counter, not looking at it yet.

“Yeah. Come here.” You waved him over and he came quickly. He held your hand and kissed the back of it as you uncovered the results.

“Negative.” You read with a shaky voice. You threw the test down and covered your face with your hands, not wanting Tom to see you getting emotional. “That’s our fourth negative.”

��Hey, it’s okay.” Tom tried to pull you into a hug but you pulled away.

“No it’s not!” You threw them stick down, making Tom jump. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong with me?”

You sat down on the toilet and cried hot tears of frustration into your hands. Tom knelt down beside you and put a gentle hand on your back.

“Theres nothing wrong with you, angel. This isn’t your fault.” He said softly, rubbing slow circles on your back. You looked up at him through your tear filled eyelashes.

“I can’t do the one thing humans were put on this earth to do.” You said through gritted teeth. He gave you a comforting smile and wiped your tears with his thumbs.

“Hey, women are not baby making machines, okay?” He chuckled softly. “We’ve only tried a few times. It doesn’t happen for every body on the first try. We’ll try again tonight, okay love?”

“What if it never happens for us?” You whispered in fear. Tom took your hands in his and kissed them.

“There are other ways to have a baby.” He insisted. “We can adopt or try some fertility treatments.”

“I should be able to do this. Most women can.” You berated yourself.

“But not all women. We can and we will try again. This is gonna happen for us.” Tom took your chin between his thumb and forefinger and made you look at him. “I’m not leaving until you smile.”

You rolled your eyes but he stayed persistent.

“I’m serious. I’ll sit on this bathroom floor all night.” He said, making you crack a smile.

“That’s better. Now come on.” He held your hand and helped you off the toilet. “This baby won’t make itself.”

A month later, you were having dinner at the Holland’s. Tom organized it to cheer you up, being it was two months since you started trying for a baby, and still no luck. You excused yourself during dinner, feeling a little nauseous all the sudden. When you didn’t come back for a while, Tom began to worry.

“I’m gonna go check on her.” Tom said, beginning to get out of his seat. Paddy held up a hand and got out of his.

“You’re still eating. I’ll go check.” He said, always wanting to come to your aid. He went to the master bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Y/n? You all right?” He asked.

“I’m fine. I’m just feeling a little hot.” You called. Paddy was about to speak when he heard your phone ringing from the bed.

“Paddy, could you get that for me please?” You called from the bathroom.

“Sure.” He picked up your phone and held it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Mrs. Holland! Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” A cheery female voice sounded from the other side of the phone. Paddy’s hand clenched around the phone as his body froze in shock.

“WHAT?” He shrieked at a pitch that made Tessa start barking from the other room.

“Is this a child?” The lady on the phone asked.

“Y/n is pregnant? With a baby? A human baby?” He sputtered. He had overheard Tom telling Sam that he was having trouble having a baby and thought it was off the table.

“So this is definitely a child.” The woman said definitively.

“Uh, no.” Paddy cleared his throat and deepened his voice. “This is her husband.”

“No, it’s really not.” The woman sighed. “Could you tell Y/n to call her OBGYN please?”

“Her what?” Paddy didn’t recognize the word.

“Her gynecologist.” The woman tried a different approach.

“That’s even worse.” Paddy said honestly.

“Her gyno. Can you remember that?” The woman said tiredly.

“Yes. I think so.” Paddy nodded, repeated the word to himself to solidify it in his mind.

“Okay, thank you. Tell her to call her gyno immediately.” The woman asked as you came out of the bathroom. Paddy hung up the phone and dropped it on the bed, staring at you blankly as you approached him.

“Thanks, Paddy.” You picked up your phone and put it in your back pocket. “Who was it?”

“You’re pregnant?!” Paddy asked in disbelief, wondering why you never told the family.

“What? No.” You laughed him off and shook your head.

“If you’re not pregnant then why did your gyro just tell me you are?” Paddy asked and you tilted your head.

“My what?” You questioned.

“Your gyro.” He said simply and you stared at him blankly. “The gyrocologist!”

“My gynecologist?” You realized as your face paled.

“Yes! That.” Paddy snapped his fingers and you covered your hand with your mouth. He looked at you quizzically, thinking you already knew about the pregnancy.

“My gynecologist said I was pregnant?” You whispered as a tear slid down your cheek.

“Yes, she just told me.” Paddy said and came to an unfortunate realization. “Oh, you didn’t know, did you?”

“No.” You shook your head and placed a hand on your tummy.

“I ruined the surprise, didn’t I?” Paddy grimaced.

“It’s okay.” You gave him a gentle smile. “Can you go get Tom?”

“Yeah. Right. Tom.” Paddy dashed out of the room and returned shortly with Tom behind him. He quickly left the room to give you privacy.

“What is it, baby?” Tom asked as he entered the room, immediately going to you. “Why are you crying?”

You took his hands and placed them over your tummy. He looked at you curiously before it clicked.

“I just got a call from the gynecologist.” You told him and his eyes lit up.

“And?” He asked hopefully.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” You nodded and he broke into a huge smile.

“What?” He asked as tears filled his eyes.

“We’re gonna have a baby. A human baby.” You cried and he looked at your tummy in disbelief.

Tom, too overcome with emotion to say anything, pulled you into his arms and cried into your hair.

“Thank you so much.” He whispered into ear.

“I really didn’t think it was gonna happen.” You wiped a tear and hugged him tighter.

Paddy, who could hear the conversation from the hallway, smiled to himself. Your happiness gave him happiness, and he was determined to make this baby’s life perfect.

And that began with the pregnancy.

Paddy somewhat returned to his old ways around you. If you needed something, he was the one to get it. Tom didn’t mind the behavior this time around. Preparing for a baby was a lot of work, and an extra set of hands didn’t hurt. Besides, Tom was the one attending the breathing classes, shopping for baby clothes, and making a registry with you. If Paddy wanted to take care of the little things, he could.

And he did.

Paddy always made sure you had enough pillows…

“Baby support.” As he would call it.

…enough snacks…

“Pickles? You need pickles? I read in 13 different parenthood that pregnant women crave pickles. I also didn’t know what kinda of chocolate you wanted so I got it all.” Paddy said as he gentle placed a variety of chocolate bars on your six month pregnant tummy.

“Wow, thanks Pads.” You laughed as you opened a bar.

“Anything for you.” He smiled before his eyes landed on Sam. “Samuel, is that hot sauce?”

“It’s for my burrito.” Sam said awkwardly, mid bite of his burrito.

“Hot sauce is not safe for pregnant women to ingest. Is your burrito more important than my future niece or nephew?” Paddy demanded.

“No?” Sam asked in confusion.

“Take it outside.” Paddy barked.

…and enough attention.

“I read that babies can sense when the mother is lonely. Actually, I saw it in Birdbox. I brought your favorite movie and some pickles. I thought we could watch it together.” Paddy said as he presented you with your favorite film.

“Aw, that sounds great Pads.” Tom said as he entered the room, taking a seat next to his pregnant wife. Paddy, who hadn’t originally planned on including Tom, faked a smile.

“The more then merrier, is what I always say.” Paddy said through his teeth.

“When have you ever said-“ Tom began to question.

“Always.” Paddy snapped and popped the movie in the DVD player.

In nine short months, the day had finally arrived. The Holland family, as well as your family, patiently waited in the waiting room as you went into labor. Paddy, who had passed out when he heard the news of your water breaking, was now sitting glumly in a wiat room chair.

“Mate, come on. Y/n is gonna give birth any minute. Mum and dad are already in there.” Harry urged Paddy to get out of the waiting room chair.

“I’m not going in there.” Paddy grumbled.

“Are you crying?” Sam realized when he saw his brothers cheeks glistening.

“No.” Paddy sniffled as he wiped his cheek.

“Yes you are. Why?” Harry said as he took a seat.

“Because I’ve spent my entire life loving a girl who is about to have a baby with my brother.” Paddy protested, making Sam and Harry exchange a look.

“I thought you were over this.” Sam sighed.

“I thought so too!” Paddy snapped. “But Tom and I fighting over her has always been a staple of our family and now he has his own family. He’s not gonna come around anymore.” His voice got quieter and Harry and Sam understood what this was about. They knelt down on either side of of his chair and looked at him.

“Of course he’ll still come around.” Harry promised.

“Why would he? Why would he need his baby brother when he has a baby of his own?” Paddy said sadly. “He’s gonna start a new family with his new baby and he won’t need us.”

“He’s always gonna need us, Pads. I honestly don’t think he knows what detergent is.” Hardy cracked a smile and Paddy halted at him.

“This isn’t a joke, Harry.” He said bitterly.

“I know it’s not. But this baby isn’t replacing our family. It’s expanding it.” Harry reasoned. “We’re all gonna have to come together to make sure this baby is the happiest baby in the U.K. That’s gonna make our family closer than ever.”

“And you’re always gonna be our baby brother. But now you have a new title.” Sam added.

“What?” Paddy asked curiously.

“Baby uncle.” Sam said, making a face when he heard how dumb it sounded.

“Bunkle, if you will.” Harry nodded.

“I absolutely will not!” Paddy snapped.

“Then just uncle will do. And being an uncle comes with a lot of responsibility. It’s our job to corrupt that baby and make Tom look like a total nerd.” Sam jeered.

“He might have that part covered.” Hardy reminded them.

“What if I’m a bad uncle?” Paddy feared.

“None of us have done this before. We’re all gonna be figuring it out together. And if you mess up, just blame one of us.” Sam told him.

“Yeah. Just blame Sam.” Harry added and Sam gave him a look.

“No matter what, we have each other to fall back on. This baby is a great thing, Paddy. Just wait and see.” Sam smiled at his younger brother. Paddy nodded, finally smiling back. A nurse in pink scrubs coming into the waiting room caught their attention.

“Paddy Holland?” The nurse asked.

“Yes?” Paddy stood up from his chair.

“Y/n would like to see you.” The nurse smiled kindly.

“Coming.” Paddy told her before turning back to his brothers. “What’s that about?”

“Maybe she finally realized she wants to be with you over Tom.” Harry shrugged.

“Shut up. Really? No she didn’t. Do you think though? She wouldn’t. Right?” Paddy went through a range of emotions and his brothers laughed.

“Just go.” Sam pushed him forward. Paddy nodded and followed the nurse down the hall. She opened the door to a room and let Paddy go inside.

Once inside the room, Paddy saw you laying in bed with Tom right beside you. Something inside him told him to be quiet, so he stood patiently at the door without saying a word. The opening of the door alerted you to his presence and you waved him over.

“Hey, Paddy.” You said softly as Paddy approached your bed. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

As Paddy knelt beside the bed, you moved your arms to reveal a sleeping baby wrapped in a pink blanket.

“We wanted you to be the first to meet her.” Tom smiled proudly at his brother. Paddy stared at the baby in childlike wonder and you bounced her gently.

“Paddy, this is Beth Patrica Holland.” You told him.

“Patricia?” Paddy looked you at you expectingly.

“Yeah. After my favorite brother.” Tom smiled at his brother, then held a finger to his lips, signaling him not to tell Sam or Harry.

“She’s beautiful.” Paddy breathed as he saw mini versions of your features in the newborns face. “She looks just like you.”

“You think so? I think she looks more like Tom.” You laughed softly as you nuzzled your nose to Beth’s head.

“No, no.” Paddy shook his head. “Like I said, she’s beautiful.”

Before Tom could respond, Beth coughed and her eyelids fluttered open. Paddy stared into her eyes, seemingly void of color but a mixture of every color all at once. He smiled at Beth, and smiled back.

“She smiled at me!” He tried to keep his voice down, but the excitement got to him.

“That means she just used her diaper. Tommy, could you?” You held the baby up and Tom happily took her in his arms.

“Of course. Come here, Princess.” He cooed to his daughter as he walked to the changing table. Paddy finally took a good look at you. You were sweaty and makeup free, forehead still glistening. Your hair was pushed back and your cheeks had a dewy pinkness to them that Paddy had never seen before.

“You look beautiful too.” He said sincerely and you chuckled.

“I look like a just pushed a human out of me.” You shook your head.

“Exactly.” He said. “That’s a beautiful thing to do.”

You looked at him fondly and gave him a soft smile.

“You know, it was my idea to make her middle name Patricia.” You told him.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yeah. I had to name her after my boy.” You cupped his face and he beamed at you. Maybe he didn’t end up with you like he wanted, but he was still your boy. You had just confirmed it.

“I’m gonna take care of her.” Paddy looked over at Beth with determination. “I promise.”

“I know you will.” You said and pulled him into a hug.

Over at the changing table, Tom sang quietly to Beth as he changed her diaper.

“Just a few more hours and I’ll be right home to you. I think I hear them calling. Oh Beth, what can I do? Beth, what can I do?” He sang and she squeezed his finger, making him well up with tears. He picked her up and held her against his chest, letting her warm up after being on the cold table. He continued singing softly in her ear as stroked her tuft of hair.

“Hurry up, Tom.” Paddy called quietly from the bed, dying to see Beth again. “I want to see my girl.”

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