#theres so much i dont know and everyone else has a lifetime of experience on me

[himejoshiba]

been feeling nauseatingly anxious about going to my riding lesson all week because the whole time i’m there all i can think about is how fat and out of shape i am and how inexperienced i am compared to people who were like born with horses. i feel so stupid all the time and i feel like everyone there is always watching me and judging me and getting mad when i fuck up for the 568073th time even after 6 months of lessons.

[tarnished-angelcoric]

As a fellow working adult system, can I ask about what kind of job you have? We're finding it extremely difficult to agree on any kind of job and actually just turned in our 2 weeks at the current one because several alters are deeply unhappy with it. I feel like none of us can agree on what we want, especially long term career stuff. How did you find your work? Is it fulfilling enough for everyone? If someone doesn't like it, how do you manage to cope with that?

Sorry for all the questions, just been very stressful job hunting when no one likes anything and I was wondering if you had any advice/ your experience with it.

-In Calus

no thats so real. honestly, finding work,, really sucks jdbsjdbjd its definitely not easy. we're in a position where we kind of Have to work to support ourselves, theres really not any way around it. ill try and answer all of your questions in order.

so we work in retail at a mall, which is. a monster all of its own, but its what we have. we've had other jobs too: food service (dont recommend, sucks ass), food delivery (stuck with this for 2 yrs and honestly wouldve stayed longer if we hadnt moved, this one was actually pretty okay), and at an animal shelter (had to leave bc we're physically disabled also and the work put too much strain on the body, but otherwise really liked it, work was pretty solo so socializing wasnt an issue). honestly id say retail isnt an Ideal job for a system unless youre relatively under control, it can certainly go haywire. only reason we have this job is bc we had just moved and were Desperate for work, applied to a billion places and took the first one that got back to us lol. *i* personally dont mind it. we dont all share the same opinions about it, but we are mostly in agreement that you gotta do what you gotta do, yknow? this probably isnt a lifetime career for us, but itll hold us until we can find one.

our system is a little bit tricky in the fact that im the one whos fronting the majority of the time, and so for the most part, the bodys life is "my" life. almost everybody else really only fronts on occasion, and so i tend to take the lead on bodily decisions. i dont want to call it "my" life, but when it comes to things like that (especially work), thats kind of how it is yknow? and since im almost always fronting, i tend to be the one that deals with work unless its a rare occasion where im triggered enough to be pulled from front.

i wouldnt say that our job is fulfilling to everyone, i dont think? there are certainly those of us who dont like it, especially the social aspect. those parts tend to not front during work, unless something goes awry and they Need to be pulled forward – though, we've been in therapy long enough that those of us who Dont mind working can handle it okay.

its really just a thing of. we Cannot move back in with family, thats Not an option. and unfortunately, in order to Not move back in with family, we Have to work. we dont really have any other viable options. so none of us really Love our job, but we do what we have to in order to survive. n so even the parts that Hate work will do it if they have to. a lot of it just comes down to us being realistic with ourselves and knowing that we have to do things we dont like sometimes in order to make ends meet. n obviously our situation is different from some peoples in the sense that i as the host am almost always fronting and rarely leave front, so mostly everybody else doesnt have to worry too much about work because i can usually handle it.

finding a proper Lifelong Career has always been harder for us, n we tend to hop around between things quite a bit. its again a thing where its Mostly up to me, because ill be the main one dealing with it, but its still hard to come to a consensus that everyone will like. we still havent found that answer, truthfully. we liked helping at the shelter, bc it was pretty solitary work and didnt require a lot of socializing, but unfortunately it doesnt seem to be a good option with the direction our physical health is going.

i wish i could say that it was easy, i wish i could give you the magic puzzle piece to solve the problem. but for us it really is just a matter of Life Sucks But You Do What You Gotta, and that will have to do until we can find something better. i wish you guys the best of luck with finding something that works for you, and you can always talk to us if you have any questions or need anything <3

other working systems feel free to weigh in if you have anything to offer!

[graffitibible]

PLEASE dig more into the intricacies of ghoul and gogo's relationship I'd LOVE to hear more!!

OH THANK GOD, i have SO MANY THOTS about this relationship

im putting this under a cut because it got. ridiculously long lmao. im sorry you can indulge me if you want

one of the hardest things about writing ghouls pov is that he is, consistently, a ridiculously unreliable narrator. their awareness of themself and other people is on so many different levels of disordered thinking and his sense of self is so distorted by a chemical cocktail of neuroses, compartmentalized trauma, and a lifetime of severe self-loathing. they’re like ten layers deep into this mental bullshit and don’t have the tools to unpack it. whenever ghoul meets someone new, theres a fundamental paranoia and fear regarding what their motives might be in regards to him. thats why they approach everything with so much defensiveness and the general assumption that someone has an ulterior motive. this is actually pretty common coming from kids with roughed up backgrounds like ghoul’s. unprompted kindness absolutely terrifies him because they assume theres some kind of trick there - historically, all the people in his life who were supposed to be “safe” weren’t so this is one of the rules of the world that ghoul’s internalized as fact. and because ghoul is scared basically all the time they tend to grab that fear and channel it into being angry instead because that nets him more control of the situation.

basically: ghoul is two thousand tons of radioactive maladaptive coping mechanisms packed into a five foot two goblin who hates the idea of being scared all the time and has chosen instead to channel all that fear into being An Absolute Nightmare.

narratively, i needed ghoul to have at least one positive relationship in his life so that there was a basis for some good relationships in the fabulous four collective. i needed ghoul to have some kind of context of “this is what it’s like to trust someone, this is what it’s like to love someone so goddamn much you’d do unspeakable things to keep them safe, this is what it’s like to have someone in your life who has your back unconditionally.” granted, thats not how this relationship ended, but at least for a minute there, gogo and ghoul had each other’s backs. that was important because i needed ghoul to have some experience in navigating a positive relationship. 

it wasn’t originally gonna be newsagogo, but i did know that gogo was gonna cross paths with ghoul prior to their run-in with poison and kobra - this was something i settled on sometime while i was writing part two of “starry-eyed.” gogo was meant to be a) one of the ways to contextualize a lot of the Shit in the zones that ghoul didn’t have an opportunity to learn about on their own time and b) one of the key ways that ghoul gets to cement a real genuine sense of justice. prior to that, ghoul had this unfocused hatred of bli the way most people in the zones do but didn’t have a real big picture understanding of how best to chip away at that kinda construct. the closest thing to it was gangs that were super bloodthirsty and liked to hunt dracs for sport but these groups weren’t interested in dismantling the institution of bli, just the catharsis of blasting dracs to hell and back. so when i got to this run-in proper, there were enough similarities in their characters (both tech-heads, both with some deep-seated vendettas against bli, both prone to couching their Real Problems in humor and deflection, etc.) for me to go “hang on.....what if....” and i could kill 2 birds with one narrative stone.

that being said oh man i did not expect writing that relationship to hurt the way it did. 

because on a lot of levels, these two really got each other! ghoul can read gogo’s expressions and body language so easy. ghoul, like jet, is an extrovert; he recharges best around people they trust. gogo’s the same. like, one thing i feel like i didn’t do well enough in that chapter was cement that, objectively speaking, gogo didn’t strictly need ghoul’s help. newsagogo is fully capable of setting up and running that station all on their own. ghoul suspected this from the start, sure, but gogo has a good grasp of tech and could probably do most of the setup herself. BUT she offers this hand to him because she doesn’t like running this station alone. she likes people and likes being around people - hence why she’s so desperate to get herself really networked into the desert and capable of calling up other dj buddies of hers. it’s pretty common practice for a dj to have a partner or team to back them up (in case they need a runner, in case they need to pack their stuff and go, in case they need someone to spot them, etc.) so gogo was in the market for that - and ghoul was a good candidate. a tech-brain, someone good with radios and obscure gear? that’s ideal runner material, and gogo doesn’t have to do this shit on her own.

and newsagogo was a really good influence on ghoul in a lot of ways. she’s the first person to go “hey let’s just do shit for fun” without any ulterior motive. takes them out drinking for fun, likes to drink soda on the roof for fun (this did not always end well but the intention was in the right place). that’s a new thing for ghoul, who’s always felt fundamentally unwanted. in every group and crew and relationship he’s had prior to this one, there was always the undercurrent of “they’re using me. they’re using me and once they’re done using me they’re gonna ditch me or kill me.” so while gogo’s doing these casual bonding activities ghoul is like WHAT IS THE ULTERIOR MOTIVE HERE and their paranoia is eating away at him and theres really honestly no other shoe that needs to drop here but thats not something that registers on ghoul’s radar.

even with that rocky start ghoul was picking up a lotta stuff from gogo, like that aforementioned sense of justice. and it was with a positive relationship like that one that i could bring out just how person-oriented fun ghoul is. like, the way i write the fab four, someone like party poison is task-oriented. fun ghoul (and jet star, actually) are both person-oriented. that’s why fun ghoul becomes so ride-or-die for newsagogo. this is actually like...their default state of being if allowed to get close to people lol. fun ghoul has a distorted sense of self that causes him to rank their own safety and self-worth way below everyone else’s along with a default propensity to love people...deeply. ghoul loves people ungently. they love people with everything they are. will easily put himself in a position to die if it means that the people they love are safe. part of this is setting up just how easy it was for the fab four and ghoul in particular to make that suicidal, sacrificial call in “SING” but part of this is just who fun ghoul is as a person. so when gogo gets hurt, ghoul goes ahead and conjures up every scrap of leverage he has against tommy chow mein and basically sets it on fire because that’s what ghoul loving someone is like. it’s ghoul trying to take apart anything that threatens the people they give a shit about and being wholly capable and willing to set himself on fire to keep the people they love warm.

they complimented each other incredibly well in a way that surprised me. like, ghoul gets people in a way gogo doesn’t, and vice versa. gogo has the attack plan and knows how they intend to set about dismantling bli with careful, calculated movements, but ghouls the one that suggests “hey, you know that if youre a dj you actually have a lot of political capital in the zones, technically??” like not with those words but thats the basic gist behind what they suggested. prior to that it didn’t occur to gogo to use DJing as a route to get what they needed but DJs have a lot of clout in the zones with the right crowds and ghoul’s hunch turned out to be correct. gogo’s the person who can do the face-to-face interactions in a clear and concise way, who can sell good headlines on the airwaves, but ghouls the one who comes at those interactions with the requisite suspicion to realize when things could be off - it’s that paranoid initiative that saves gogo’s life when that bomb goes off.

ofc once ghoul realized that they gave this much of a shit about newsagogo he immediately tried to stop thinking about it because this kind of unconditional caring for someone? that’s brand new. and it terrifies the shit out of him. because all of a sudden, ghoul doesn’t have the handy back door that they’ve always had. if shit really gets bad, he tells himself consistently, they can just leave. they can ditch whoever they’re with and it’ll be fine. but when ghoul gives this much of a shit about someone, the idea of leaving feels like trying to carve your heart out with a spoon. every time gogo expressed this casual affection ghoul does his best to brush it aside or willfully forget it - but they dont, really. subconsciously that’s always there. and no matter what kind of bad blood manages to end up between them, ghoul can’t forget that this is the first person who he actually wanted to call a friend; they keep that pendant gogo gave him for the rest of their life.

but ultimately, the pair of them fell apart because they both grew in such a way that they couldnt be in each other’s lives forever. gogo prioritizes the cause over her interpersonal relationships; that’s just the kind of person they are in this stage of rebellion against bli. gogo can look at her personal happiness and acknowledge that something like that is secondary to their goals. war is about sacrifice and gogo understands this. newsagogo knows that she might not survive to the end of it, knows full well that their agents might not survive to the end of it, and has accepted these consequences. losing some of their agents doesn’t shake gogo the same way it does ghoul.

because ghoul’s the kind of person who can’t accept that. this is the first positive relationship he’s had in their life and he doesn’t wanna lose it. he doesn’t wanna lose newsagogo over a big blanket cause. the seeds for that kind of “will die bleeding for this cause” are there, but ghoul is a socially-oriented person and very person-oriented in general. and fundamentally, fun ghoul is a deeply compassionate person who can’t help but empathize: the micro will always supersede the macro. it’s easier for ghoul to charge into battery city to save a little girl than it would to charge into battery city for a vaguely defined reason that might further a broader cause.

unfortunately, because gogo and ghoul had two such different approaches to this and because ghoul is a volatile person, they did that thing where uh. again, this is pretty common in abuse survivors, but ghoul did that thing where he detonates their positive relationships because this was always a foregone conclusion to someone ensconced in so many paranoid maladaptive coping mechanisms and at least this way, with ghoul going off, the relationship gets to detonate in a way that ghoul can control. a lot of those moments where ghoul acts like an absolute little nightmare have to do with that notion of control; this way, fun ghoul gets to decide when and how the relationship ends and for someone who did not get a lot of control over anything in their early life, this is how he compensates.

i wrote this fuckin. tragic “friends who drifted apart, who didn’t see the cracks in the foundation of their relationship until they were using them to splinter themselves away from each other” with no basis in anything canon and fucked myself up over it and why did i do this?

this was an essay and a half but yeah feel free to yell at me about newsagogo and fun ghoul cause THATS a niche fucking friendship i didnt expect to mess me up the way it did

[savnofilter]

hey guys, i just wanted to speak up about something because i have been getting questions if i was well and stuff and im not really sure these days. mainly because i have become uncomfortable on this blog.

and i beg that people who dont like me, please do not spread things about me please or this because i thought i owe this to my followers.

the reason as to why i feel uncomfortable is because it really dawned upon me that being here doesnt make me happy anymore. and you could see in how flat my writing has become, or how my behavior often changes from happy to sad/low in a quick second.

and since after the summer, being on here has been almost terrible for me. like i use to have many friends, many people i talked to or felt like i created a bond with a lifetime, just kind of up and left me in the dust. while i finally took the time to focus on me for once, they used it against me, they got mad at me and its just hard to keep quiet about since it has always been my goal to talk about my feelings and now i dont think i can anymore, as to why im writing this to you guys tonight..

i will not get into depth (or specific) about it because i feel like the more i try to explain myself, the more twisted it becomes. and instead of helping me, it hurts me.

over the few months, i found when i was taking breaks to be happier. 

and its not the thought of you guys, it was more of like the lingering feeling of the way i was treated by people lingering on my blog. and im afraid if i feel like this still holds truth, i will be leaving this blog sooner or later.

in truth, i feel like ive been mistreated or even to the point where my feelings were so construed that it felt like i have been gaslighted over and over and over again. and honestly i am not as mentally or emotionally mature as many people on here, and some of them know that but it was never regarded.

im sad that this experience has come to this, because i really loved interacting, interacting with everyone and sharing my stories, but with the bad experiences on here has even turned my love/passion for writing down -- and even watching anime. i feel reminded every time i see certain blogs all over my feed, or like “hey im safe with these group of people” then they would pop up again. i felt like im some sort of villain or like an unintelligent-idiot who cant think for themselves. and while people who brainlessly follow those people can blindly hate me is fine, because i will never change who i am for anyone. ever. and i hate having to make posts like these because i feel bad for being so angsty and not being the sav that you guys know because while the brand “savnofilter” or “sav” is an extension of me, i sometimes feel so detached because of how shut out ive fell in this fandom for like 5 months now.

and i sincerely apologize to any new followers, i use to not be this down all the time but it really has been brought to my attention that the only social media that has heightened my anxiety, my depression, and even a part of illnesses i thought went away has resurfaced all because of what has happened associated to this blog.

whether it be being shut out and begging for help from the people i thought would be friends, or that i was kicked to the curve simply because i was not in the right state of mind and basically told me it was my fault for being that way.

and when it was fun, when i had friends it never felt like a chore for me on here. but as i lose support like that, it just hurts even though i have someone who stays beside me all the time. once you lose that, that, ground you start to compare yourself, like normal human nature i think. i started too look at my blog and be like “why arent i getting as much as before, what am i doing wrong, what is so bad about my stuff thats good with theres”. and part of the factor was that its odd, because it wasnt even a place of jealousy. it was one of, how did i fall to be so unimportant? so... immaterial. and it was like, each writer i fell out with, everyone just followed them and im left here trying my best to fill in their spots because i missed having that friend group, or friends with me. the only who really cared for me even with the biggest arguments and hoenstly it was because they were the only the one that cared for me. and i am not trying to cause discourse so please do not contact other people about this.

and as much as i stay at this point to irk the people who want me gone, i feel like the subtle unintentional (or intentional) bad vibes being brought to me is choking me up. and its doing well.

it just, it was so odd being treated like actual shit. like dog dooky shit. like if i was the poop on the sidewalk that you walk around and wonder who fucking took that massive shit, shit. and i was afraid to speak up about it because i was afraid of the backlash id get for having fucking feelings. 

from someone who went through some shit when i was younger, and built this barrier, to being repeatedly told over and over again that my feelings are invalid, to have people to tell me “i wont do that too you” and then do it to me just made me grow as a person. or die as a person. im not sure yet.

not only was it a mixture of people leaving me for shitty reasons, it was how stupid this fandom got. yeah, stupid. completely idiotic. of course there are people who sense-ful(?) and i love you a lot for it. but like ive said before, its unfair, there is no love like there use to be. people arent how they use to be. people put on a show, but once behind close doors its completely different. and if youre thinking of anyone in specific, youve got some shit to reevaluate. 

i was so scared to talk about it before because i was so scared at the backlash id get because i was so tired for being the hurt one and being called the bad guy. and im not blind to me being a bitch, but when i feel like ive done something im upfront about it. im rambling but this happens when i finally let my thoughts out.

and if ive been truthful, ive fallen out of my routine with meeting up with my therapist which may one of the reasons i let it run on this long without really getting a clear conscience. and like ive said before, i had thought it had to do with my life but honestly the only grief i get is being on here. 

to be honest, i have projects and requests i really want to complete before i even leave. so maybe its a while before i leave, maybe if it gets too much i’ll just go. i do not know. but 2020 is the year i finally want to take my own health over everyone else before i did before. and even with how hurt i am, i still hold so much love for these people. so much. but ive always been too loyal.

i am sorry for this sorrowful note, but i do not know how much longer i will stay. i love you all, have a blessed night.

[culturepopper]

Hecate Eats Ice Cream

I’m in the middle of writing a lemon fic for Feb but Bad Magic came in and futzed with my headcanon. There was a bunch in the episode that everyone is either losing their shit over, being anon-tacked for, or just getting trolled about. I’ve read some amazing thoughts by @meridelclarke @cosmic-llin  @nervouspearl @subcutaneous7 and @cassiopeiasara and wanted to at my shiny pennies mainly so I can keep track of my thoughts. Also, does anynoe else want to see Hecate eat ice cream on a waffle cone, like really bad?

- Hecate is always going to step in, black lacquered nails pointed and fingers spread in defense of those she cares about. It's instinctive for her. She’ll be the one to give up her magic so the girls have a chance to live magical lives. She’ll be on guard when Julie (or literally anyone) gets too close or seems to be a threat to Ada or the girls. She will throw herself in front of a power-mad irrational non-witch, knowing the consequences to prevent harm from coming to one of her own. Hecate decided in this episode to let Mildred know that she will be and is looking out for her, even if she’s unable to see it. She’s confessed SOOO much to her! Like almost too much?! Her first name is actually Joy (meanwhile, I lost my mind when she told her my middle name is Hecate, my first name is Joy. What a setup.). She had a best friend named Indigo who was the first person who “saw her” when she was a tragically lonely child. She confessed just how lonely she was and the lengths she was willing to go to keep her friend near. I feel for the Hicsqueakers b/c when Hecate says that she cut herself off from her friend, Pippa included, it feels like the real heartbreak for her non-straight childhood might have actually been her love of Indi? It could be Pippa who she was having feelings for but Indi also seems like there might have been something else. 

- It would be in direct opposition to every moment of character-building in the series if Hecate was confined to the school and its grounds against her will as an adult b/c of some Stockholm-esq reason or because it was lifetime confinement. I also refuse to accept the insane premise that Ada is enforcing the terms of that confinement. Ada is kind and generous to a fault. She finally listened to her Deputy only after it was too late re: Julie - not the first time that’s happened (see Miss Mould). Hecate is the exact person who would over-punish herself to atone for what she did (AS A CHILD). The witches at Cackles who would have bound her to the grounds would have been Alma and the other faculty of which Ms. Bat would surely have been one of! Even if Ms. Bat didn’t agree with the decision to confine her, she would have known all the witches who did. We should probably also mention the emotional trauma a 15 yr. old would face when she watched her best friend be turned into stone in the forest. She’d be able to visit her as often as she liked and relive that moment forever. Does anyone but Hecate and now Mildred even know there’s a statue of a girl in the forest?

- Some temporal mechanics: If Hecate has been punishing herself for 30 years and she started that punishment when she was about 15 (that’s Bella Ramsay’s current age), then that would make her about 45. I always thought she was closer to 50 bio and maybe 65 in witch years. Let’s also assume Ada is roughly 55. That would have made her 25 when this shit was going down. She could have been at witching college, or working at another school for experience or pursuing a higher level of education like a masters if she was going to be running this centuries old institution. I don’t think she was teaching at Cackles, mainly b/c she would have been too young and Alma wasn’t ready to retire.

- When Hecate was turned into Softbroom, what’s the first thing she did (other than let her hair down)? Dance. Dancing is something she’s loved to do since she was a free-wheeling child experimenting with rules and power, just like most of us did at her age. 

- Re: miniaturized Ada in the clay castle - Have you ever seen Hecate go on a 2-second face-journey with that much adoration in her expression when looking at anyone other than Ada? She held Ada with both hands in the way you would hold your most cherished possession. As she found when Ada (and eventually her) was stuck in the picture by Agatha, she was able to still see and hear everything. I’m sure the last thing Hecate would want Ada to feel was small, literally or figuratively. She could have picked up any mini person and held them with concern, but she didn’t. She picked up Ada, held her close and smiled tenderly before gently placing her back where she found her.

- WHAT DO YOU KNOW MS. BAT? She has seen it all. I just want to take her out for drinks and listen to all of her stories. She knows them all. She’s got the skinny on Ada and Hecate as youths. 

- I’m a wee bit shook that Hecate went to Cackles. Massive blow to the headcanon. I wanted Hecate to be Ada’s first hire after coming to Cackles from somewhere like Pentagles or Amulets and witching uni. I thought Hecate went to Pentagles assuming Pippa’s mother ran that school just like Alma ran Cackles. Now it would seem that Pippa and Hecate were classmates at Cackles. Does that mean Pippa started her own school? 

- I’m a bit sad for the Hubblestar ship. Julie’s gone. We didn’t get to see the closure b/w Miss Drill and Julie. There are still possibilities! I can think of 20 ideas off the top of my head to spin that ship back into existence but I still feel for that loss.

- If Broomhead was canonically supposed to be one of Hecate’s teachers, was she employed at Cackles? When Hecate graduated from Cackles didn’t she go to witch uni? Isn’t that where she would have encountered Broomhead? I want to know how they plan on handling that influence. If Hecate was already determined to never break the code again, tight bun in place, and then met Broomhead later, what other damage did she do before becoming a teacher?

[beccaboosthings]

1-65 for the odd asks💛

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Idk if I’m just tired or what, but idk what this means lol

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Maybe like a 2?

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Trump

4. What is your favorite word?

Idk about it being my favorite but my cousin reminded me that flabbergasted was a word today, so theres that

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Mapel

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“wow I look like shit”

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A 2016 Homecoming shirt my mom had to wear because she works at a school

8. What do you label yourself as?

Some weird Bi girl who knows more about fictional worlds then the real one

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Watching Netflix wile and trying not to wake up my bff

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

I’m going to have to say maybe age 7? Life was just so much easier

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My gf :)

13. Your worst enemy?

Some bitch I used to be best friends with. I cant stand them

14. What is your current desktop picture?

This

15. Do you like someone?

yes

6. The last song you listened to?

High Hopes by P!ATD

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Idk lol

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

The person I hate

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

I dont like the concept as an actual “slave” but ya know when you are little and you make your sibling do stuff for you, I would want that

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My hair. People always complain if their hair is strait or if its curly and they like the other, but my hair does both depending on what i do with it after I wash it

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I would look like Dan Howell probably, and idk what I would do haha.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I dont think I have any

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Being buried alive

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Idk, I dont really eat sandwiches, I guess just pb&j, because childhood, ya know?

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Right now? probably christmas presents 

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

London

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

I have no clue haha. Sorry Im boring, I also might be like half asleep right now but shhh

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Acceptance for all, no matter race, gender, sexuality, ect, everyone is welcome and anyone who disagrees can get the fuck out

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My phone. It has all of my pictures on it and what not

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Family drama shit

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

I would move to london, or maybe paris lol

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

As long as she would be 100% healthy, My sister.

34. What was your last dream about?

I’m pretty sure it was my gf

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Idk what to put lol

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yes? I think? 

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I did the other day. It was just a small one but it still counts

38. What is the color of your socks?

White and teal

39. What type of music do you like?

Pop, Pop punk, Rock, basically anything but rap and country

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

I dont really like milkshakes lol

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I dont pay any attention to sports lol

43. Do you have any scars?

Yes, I have more then I can count, i scar EXTREMELY easily 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

Idk. I want to do something that ha to do with art

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My mental health

46. Are you reliable?

yes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

does it get better?

48. Do you hold grudges?

nope

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a bird and a fish. does it have to be in the water? does it fly? who tf knows

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Me and my dad once had the conversation of would different dog breeds taste different if you were to eat them?

51. Are you a good liar?

Sometimes. If i am strait up lying, not really, but if i am bull shitting my way through i could do it for hours

52. How long could you go without talking?

a few hours maybe. I mean i dont speak when I sleep so maybe 12?

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

I dont think i have had any bad ones

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

I do all the time

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

I can do a british one pretty decently 

56. What do you like on your toast?

either butter or peanut butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

flowers

58. What would be you dream car?

I like punch buggies so i can go around and see people wack each other haha

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I just think way too much when i shower, thats why they take me like an hour haha

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Yes

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Never

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

I have never thought about this before haha. May be A? Idk lol

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons

64. What do you think about babies?

They are cute as long as they arent crying and i dont have to deal with them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

Lol

[kosmicdream]

Hi I’m Kosmic. I draw webcomics and my webcomics are really long sprawling huge cast ones that will go on for years and they’re non linear and all this stuff that makes ppls heads spin when they try to explain wtf they’re about. I ask myself this question a lot: How the fuck do I maintain this motivation for continuing projects that are honestly, probably bigger than i can possibly feasibly create??? How do i avoid swallowed up by anxiety of my own creations???? is that energy going to run out at any time? should i be worried?? Well! For some reason I... don’t? like i get winded sometimes but in the end, I actually quite like what i do and I don’t care that it takes literally years to make my stories. but when I step back and look at it objectively it does make me scratch my head and wonder how i came to be in this situation. So, sometimes i  try and write a few things that help me with understanding my own process, for whatever reason. Or at least I’ll TRY to articulate some of the things i seem to tell myself again and again that help me feel very comfortable with my writing/creating process. So if you want an insight into tips that i give myself.. this is that! 

TIP #1 - Everything you Plan will take longer than you planned, but you can make it easier by unexpectedly including information you might have otherwise withheld.

Secrets are cool in your stories. I have so many of them, but I also understand that they’re much more fun to share than to always keep locked up and out of knowledge. I often overshare to the point where ‘info dumping’ happens which is often considered an unattractive quality in comics. But IDM it so much because my comics just need to be drawn and you can’t glorify and hold every flaw over your shoulders when in the end its not going to be that big of a deal. I think its better to give out more information than finding reasons to bend around a story to avoid revealing things. I feel it might even be more obvious if you attempt to do that.

Also, I feel that everything planned in a story can happen quite quickly, and feel much shorter than actually drawing it. Even with the experience ive gained, i still am surprised just by how much i must throw out to make my long scenes shorter and snappier. even then, they are still really long scenes. I don’t mind doing this, I like to make my stories this way- but ive also designed my comic to serve this pace by making my pages less intensive physically to make. I’m not going to go in depth about this as ive already discussed this many times before, but I do think its important to understand that generally, a commitment to a comic is going to be bigger and longer than it appears in your mind or even on paper as a script or thumbnails.

(my comic eggshells, for example, was originally going to be 340ish pages long. but back then, my pacing was much different-- and my pages were generally twice as wide with around 15 panels per page..sometimes more. but i would over-render and make them hard to read, and now i draw very few panels per page and my comics are much ‘longer’ in page count.)

TIP #2

-Accept that your ideas are bigger than what you can draw and enjoy the private context and history of your work without feeling like its less accomplished for not being all out there. Validate yourself but also understand that your readers are not going to understand the depth from your perspective and they will be engaging with the view they’ve been exposed to.

This is kind of a complicated one but I think that its both humbling to accept your work as this multi layered experiences of contradicting perspectives.. theres the planning and your engagement with the goals, the work of translating your creation to others and the vulnerable exposure of these ideas to the audience. As the creator, you get to see things in a very unique way that no one else can but... the one feeling you will never get to see is the audience who has no idea what will happen next. You can anticipate it, but in the end its so vast and unpredictable that it will be impossible to judge what they ALL will FEEL and sometimes? their perceptions can alter your own enjoyment of your work. I guarantee it will change it in SOME way.. that’s part of the sacrifice.

TIP #3

-Allowing change, flexibility and growth into your series- and letting go of control over all facets of it.

As time goes on things just change. Its hard to accommodate or prepare for that kind of investment in your work when you feel like you havent even gotten through the starting gates of your story. Comics are particularly difficult for that because once you draw a thing, it takes time to edit and you cant really undo and go back. Each panel informs and builds on the next. You have to use what’s there and figure out how it can be a structure for the future.

Accepting the past that has helped create the situation and platform of your comic in the present, which will lead into the future. Personally, i’m not a fan of retconing* certain decisions that have been already made into the canon-- however, i think if a new conclusion or idea is discovered in the process of writing and it works to include because it creates a new and alive energy in the work that will help push it to the next stage.. i think that’s very helpful and useful for sustaining the growth and motivation in a story. Making choices like this can be tricky, however, but even small ones can give a lot of natural growth and flexibility in the comic. The problem can often come with letting go of that unseen, unrealized version we had intended. I know for myself, i can get very nostalgically attached to old ideas but-- if i think of something better that works or makes more sense, I’m always thankful to let go and let my stories grow into a better thing. I try to remember where it came from, however. Because that helps inform me where to go.

(*generally my definition for this is altering events of the past, certain core plans of the comic, character motivations, or facts that are connected to the worldbuilding. im kind of a hoarder so once its in the story aka on a specific page-- its not going anywhere. until then things can be up in the air. for example, the characters knife and spoon were not originally intended to be mutually in love and it was more of a one sided idol worship, but as i fleshed their characters out i realized that it was mutual and it changed and altered the story because of that. now it cannot/will not be “undone” for whatever reason bc this is.. an established fact in the story. but at one point, it was not! i hope that makes sense.)

SO TO SUMMARIZE... plans will always be “”bigger”” in the ever expansive space of your mind so also dont be afraid to get to the point sometimes even if it feels a little, like. less exciting than you thought? accept your story is going to be different for YOU vrs your audience and make peace with that disconnect even tho its disorienting + upsetting sometimes & accommodate the ~natural personal and artistic growth~ you will experience and let go of things that might be holding you or your work back from improving with you. but also dont try to cut out too much of the past because.. it is what helped you get to where you are right now? focus on the present & allow growth for the future, dont try to alter the past and pretend it didnt happen. bc that will be confusing as fuck for everyone involved and also probably hurt the story more than help it. esp if its a long one. ur building a tower dont pull out too many foundational blocks and try to make it too much of something else unless its growing there on its own.. u kno? 

When I try to write these tips these are just things I find myself doing in a cycle as i create that seem to keep re igniting my passion for my story again and again. It makes me curious because it also is a very instinctual thing so I thought I might try and write it out!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY.

ALSO some bonus thoughts!!!!!!!!!! I will say that I’ve never completed a long format comic series, so take it w/ a grain of salt imo. HOWEVER...I probably will, eventually. Even if I don’t, I do enjoy writing really big ones and I feel very happy with the work i do on them! and still feel no inclination to move onto other things. Or even when I work on other things, I don’t have a feeling of dropping a story entirely. (for example, i still intend to work on my older series eggshells and don’t really feel a desire to ‘quit’ that story even when i have matured as an author/artist since starting it.)

When I read really long comic series I wonder a lot of internal decisions that happen out of sight, since the timeline of a comic that you read is so much different than the timeline it takes actually creating the thing. its so easy to write/plan/form ideas for lifetimes of work that will never be realized, so what is it that we actually get in the pages? What aspects of this author are we actually seeing? how much have they grown since beginning and what about the story we will never know? I know I’ll never know, because, I am only the reader! And as the creator, I will never know what the feeling of my work as the reader. or the cool and interesting things they predict will happen based on their perseptions, which are so different from mine. Yet!! we are all engaged in the same story unfolding, never fully discovering what its like on the other side but only getting little glimpses and thats fascinating how a story is almost this vast illusion of experiences maintained by so many different minds. 

Long format comics captivate me because they are just, really time consuming to make and the pacing of them are so different and less consumable than other stories. They like become.. this place you live in! Why are they my favorite to enjoy even when its natural that, when a story becomes longer, its going to end up attracting more & more issues? Why do i Not care about resolutions to long stories sometimes bc my expectations for them are different?? (also lets face it, experience writing long stories is going to be different than writing short ones because it takes time to write longer things & we are not going to have as much experienc having more than one completed super long multi-act-multi-characterplot story vrs a bunch of smaller ones. it doesnt mean its EASIER to write shorter ones, if anything id argue its probably much harder to write good short things + isolate a story down to that focused vision than making tons of long ones that avoid endings) but..yet!! here i am...

why am i constantly drawn to trying to understand long format stories when I probably could improve faster by writing shorter things??! i dont really know! but i follow my heart and my heart likes to do things this way......

anyway, this entire post is mostly inspired by the fact that many of my favorite stories started before i was even born or have been going on for decades and i wonder if we’ll ever read the endings to many of them.... would it.. matter? they’ve already inspired me so much even without a resolution because i can imagine my own endings to things.. but in the end that is not what happened in the actual story. it was only in my mind.. and yet it never happened, and was an illusion unknown to anyone but myself.....and sometimes my favorite stories are my favorites because of the things i imagined them to be, rather than what they actually were or how they actually turned out.. i dont know how this happens..... but i wonder about what this means with my OWN comics, and how my perceptions of what they could be vrs what they are is like, this weird illusion that also exists only in my mind and no one else can see it. yet we are both looking at the same thing. and i want to know what others see and i never will get to??? ....stories are......... so fucking spooky!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! ok thats all. thx for reading

[i-have-lived]

I just need to talk into a void right now. Badly.

For the past two months, I've been questioning if I have some kind of dissociative disorder. I've experienced dissociation alot in my lifetime, but it's gotten alot worse. I've always had this.. interest in multiplicity, and have encountered it a few times in my personal life, and outside of a few passing thoughts, I never would have assumed I had anything like it...

But then, recently, when I started to seriously question it, some. Alters, headmates, parts, whatever you want to call them, started to introduce themselves to me (after I had put in quite a good deal of effort to make contact... Asking if anyone else was there, because I was beginning to think there was...)

Since then I've experienced worsening dissociation, and can barely stand my own reflection most days. I think I've experienced "switching", ranging from pretty intense and prolonged (headaching, stress, watching my body do things without my input, or saying things out loud that I don't mean to say...) To barely noticeable (just having the sudden feeling that I'm not who i was just awhile ago, or suddenly realizing I'm acting strangely. Like a shift in my facial expression that I can't change, wanting to wear clothes i would NEVER normally want to, getting up and doing things and not knowing why im doing them, etc.)

Things were very difficult at first, and i had alot of breakdowns wondering whats happening to me, and why. If I have bpd (Never been diagnosed with that, but a psychiatrist told me when i was about 13-14ish that I had "bpd like symptoms" but didn't go any farther than that due to my age. Haven't had any follow-up with that since.) and just internalized the symptoms of those around me, if I'm having some kind of delusion, or if I have some form of osdd (my therapist and i both agree its unlikely to be DID, because I haven't experienced any significant amnesia barriers).

Most of my "alters" and I are alot different, and its really hard to have conversation, or to try to visualize them in my head to try to talk. And at one point, I had woken up and started to panic because i didn't know where I was, why i was there, or where my "kids" were. Mind you, I'm in a same-sex LDR, and neither of us have had or plan to have kids. I panicked, alot, and of course I say "I" but... I know that that wasn't me. Not really, at least.

Other alters, like Fenrir (who was the first to introduce himself to me, and has become somewhat of a father figure to me) have been very nice, and tries his best to keep me from self harming, and I've noticed comes out alot when I'm having a break down/panic attack. I've had the most communication with him, although everything still feels distant and blurry, as if I don't really know him fully yet.

This issue has been continuing throughout these past two months, and I'm lucky I've had a good friend of mine to talk to about it, that my "alters" can talk to freely (which has helped me learn about them alot.) And who support me unconditionally throughout this whole thing. I've been hiding it from everyone else in my life though, as I'm not sure what to label it as, or if I'm just... Somehow subconsciously faking these symptoms for some reason I don't understand yet.

Admittedly (and this is something I'm extremely ashamed of, and have talked to my therapist about, and will NEVER repeat if i can help it) i have faked illness before. I was very young and in a terrible headspace, and very depressed and suicidal at the time. I had claimed to be experiencing hallucinations, but I knew the whole time that i was lying, and that my young, vulnerable brain was just trying to find some way to get the people around me to care, and to do something to help me, even if it meant i had to make something up. I mention this because I don't feel like this is something thats happening now, with what im experiencing with dissociation and my problems with identity... If i am faking it, I'm not concious of it. At all. A part of me is terrified that I'm wrong, and that this will all pass by me with time, that I'm just jumping to conclusions or faking it again even though I'm not actively trying to like i was before.

Things had been settling with me, though, and i was getting better at accepting what I've been experiencing with my "alters" and dissociating in general. But yesterday I went to my therapist, and ended up finally coming clean and talking to her for about an hour about these experiences, albeit in less detail since I was under extreme stress and was terrified throughout the entire conversation. Terrified that I'd be told I'm crazy, but also terrified of being told I'm not.

She's going to look into finding me a psychiatrist to talk to about this, probably to get a second opinion/diagnosis. She said she didn't think I have did, but that she doesn't think I'm delusional either, and i just.. got so many mixed signals. I don't know what to expect out of this, and i can't self-dx (obviously.) but it feels so terrifying and stressful and fucking awful to just have to sit and wait and do nothing, and not know what's going to happen to me. I don't know what to do or think of any of this. If it turns out that i do have osdd, or something, then at least I'll have some closure, but i have no idea how to deal with that going forward. What that would mean for my life, and the lives of everyone around me.

If i dont, then... What do i do with the knowledge of these people in my head? Just... Try to forget? Make them go away? I've been trying hard to do that and to deny their existence, but it feels ridiculous to do that, and it makes me feel.. really guilty.

I just... Theres just so much happening. And its all scary, and all overwhelming, and I wish I had waited longer to say anything to my therapist about it, until i felt more sure or, or what, I don't know. I don't think i was as ready to talk about it as I thought I was.

If you've made it this far, thanks for, uh, hearing me out. I guess. If anyone can give me advice or comfort or just, any input on this, if you relate or what, I'd really like to hear from you.

[scoup-d-etat]

do you have any fanfic recs (preferably friends to lovers but tbh im down for anything at this point)

Omg I cant believe you’re asking ME ahhhhh do u really trust me? lololo

1. Our twenties by @citruseungkwan (VERKWAN) 

vernon gets used to living with his roommate, boo seungkwan. a slice-of-life story about the relationships that blossom during the times of their youth, as well as the various experiences and the growing pains that happen in between. ( Yoo if ur into slow pace and rap battles then u gotta read this)

2. Baby Daddy  (MEANIE)

Wonwoo wakes up at 3:46 one morning, $3000 richer and with a more exciting life ahead of him. The only downside? He has a kid, a baby girl he didn't even know existed, and has no idea how to care for her. Cue Mingyu and his surprisingly good taking-care-of-children skills. (What can i say? Im a sucker for Wonwoo as a dad why is his kid’s name always nari ??)

3. Reckless, Wild Youth by @woozifi (MEANIE)

What better way to determine if the silent, daydreaming outcast is gay than by seeing if he falls in love with a handsome and popular guy in his class?

A story in which high school is full of Embarrassing Heterosexuals and college may be a little better, Mingyu doesn’t know what he’s getting into with that Wonwoo kid, his friends Seungcheol and Jihoon are kind of assholes, and a lot of growing up and lessons learned is to be had. (Of course the queen of all fanfics~ I personally think that everyone in the fandom should read this masterpiece)

4. Acte de foi  (WONHUI)

Wonwoo leaps into the air and his jumps take him up, up, and up. Even when Junhui stops practicing his pirouettes, his head spins, spins, and spins. Those two things may or may not be related, but Junhui’s too busy trying to survive his third and final year of high school to notice. (I like me some high school aus heheh)

5. Ataraxy (MEANIE) 

That was what Jeon Wonwoo felt whenever he was around Kim Mingyu. Calm, relaxed, free from his problems. Kim Mingyu had an effect on Jeon Wonwoo like alcohol would. Minus the fact that the mentioned product came with terrible consequences and effects, and that Jeon Wonwoo wanted Kim Mingyu. Unlike alcohol.  (I cant really remember but im pretty sure i liked this fic lololo)

6. Carry me home tonight (SOONHOON)

Somewhere between hook-ups, post-it notes, red tapes and strip Uno, they find something more than what they bargained for. Hint: it's a four-letter word.  (You just have to read it man it will change ur life)

7. Golden Boys (SOONHOON?)

Lee Jihoon is the top student in his school, the son of a small restaurant owner, and leads an overall regular but boring life in Busan. However when he gets a scholarship to the richest school in South Korea, he’s thrust into the cutthroat world of the elite. Pledis High is where the wealthiest students are sent to be groomed as heirs to their family business empires, a school filled with privileged teens divided by their status.  (Summer romance kindaaa friends to lovers?? totally reminds me of boys over flowers)

8. At a glance (JICHEOL)

The funny thing about relationships is how you think you’re the one in control. But in reality, almost none of the choices made are actually your own. Alternatively: Everyone has their own agenda. (A collection of scenes that outline Seungcheol’s and Jihoon’s relationship together) (i dont really remmeber this but i love it)

9. In The eye of the beholder (VERKWAN)

Vernon is a half-demon, and a lifetime of prejudice and watching people avoid him for his frightening appearance has made him alone and friendless for most of his life. Seungkwan is a breath of fresh air, willing to approach him when no one else will—maybe because he's just that nice of a person, probably because he is completely, totally blind. (their friendship is so precious help)

10. Paper Heart  (VERKWAN)

Vernon falls in love with the sight of beauty, a handful of dream, and a petite figure with bigger heart who speaks through his fingers. Vernon falls in love with Boo Seungkwan - but if only it was really that easy. (get ready to get your heart wreck)

lols sorry theres too much meanie and verkwan lolololol im a true believer sorry and for other pairs i read other kind of aus hmu if u want more recommendations ~

[vitalmindandbody]

If not my surname or my husband’s, could we call our child after a New Zealand volcano?

Franki Cookney and her husband didnt much like each others surnames, so now theyre having a baby theyve are determined to pick a brand-new one

When my husband, Rob, and I marriage last year, the question of what to do about our surnames barely registered our discussions. We are both novelists, so our figures are on every piece of work we do. That we would hinder our own seemed a payed. There was just one niggling indecision. What would happen if we had babes?

I had always thought that we would just stick both our mentions on the birth certification, but I knew this didnt fairly solve the problem. Whose call would go first? And which reputation would end up being used?

We could use a double-barrel mention, but didnt detect our surnames, Cookney and Davies, lent themselves to hyphenation. Whichever tell you have selected, the result is clunky and we were reluctant to saddle small children with it.

We could have just chosen whichever mention seemed best with our babys first name. But in that scenario, one parent intent up not sharing a surname with their child and neither of us craved that. Plus, Id heard too many fables of parents being stopped at airfield protection because the calls on their passports didnt match that of their children.

The traditional alternative of taking my husbands surname was never on the table. Quite apart from the feminist principle of not was intended to abdicate my identity for his, I wasnt keen on the appoint. Rob supported this and was by no means offended. The disturbance was, he wasnt a fan of my identify either. Its precisely a bit unwieldy, he mentioned. Its almost Cockney but not quite. Youre incessantly having to spell it out. We looked at our moms maiden identifies and our grandparents names but ever objective up back in the same situate, feeling that it wasnt equal, that picking one surface of their own families over another wasnt fair.

We hit on the idea of taking a new name about a year ago when before our wed we went to write our wills. As we chitchatted to one of the attorneys, it transpired that he and his wife had done exactly this. Theres a fair fleck of admin, but its good, it wreaks, he alleged , nod decisively. Abruptly, it didnt seem so outlandish. This wasnt some childish uprising or bohemian pretentiousness, this was something solicitors did!

We mooted it with pals, who were largely unfazed. What figure will you go for? was the thing they were most curious about. Good theme. Could we compound the messages of our mentions and make something new, we meditated. Schedules were realized: Dents, Cave, Devine, Kinsey, Dacovnicks Cookies? Nothing of them quite hit the mark.

As our marry gleaned nearer, we introduced the reputation activity on a back burner. But when I became pregnant 3 months later, we were forced to look at the situation afresh and decided to change tacking. How about a region? I suggested. Somewhere weve called that we desired. A backpacking stint before we got married had left us with batch to choose from but most sounded quite bizarre when attached to a couple of ordinary Brits. Rob and Franki Tongariro possessed a certain vigour, but naming yourself after a New Zealand volcano would be ridiculous. And Zhangjiajie might invoke memories of fantastic Chinese mountains, but imagine having to charm it every time you booked a “hairs-breadth” appointment or called your internet provider. For a while Salento and Chaltn were on the listing, after places in Colombia and Argentina. But we werent convinced we could pull off the undoubtedly Latino-sounding former and supposed the latter would lead to a lifetime of correcting people who declared it Charlton.

Then Rob enunciated, What about Stone Town? The beautiful age-old city of Zanzibar City is where he had asked me to marry him. It instantly seemed right. Stone was straightforward but important. It seemed good with both our first names and after a few weeks of trying it on with other calls would work well with almost anything we decide to for our newborn. It was perfect: a solid figure( with a potential for puns that was not lost on us) that felt like a constructive solution to our problem. We would keep our original surnames for act and borrow this new family name for our personal lives.

By law, all you need to do to change your figure is, well, remained unchanged. Simply borrowing and using your new mention is enough. Informing your details and chronicles, however, requires a document of proof such as a marriage certification or, in our case, a deed ballot. “They dont have” official space of acquiring a deed referendum. You can write one yourself utilizing free templates from the internet, but lack of lucidity about the process solutions in some institutions necessitating an original certification despite the fact that no such thing subsists. You can either fight it out or you can do what we did and compensate 15 -2 0 for a company such as the Deed Poll Office to draw up the word on your behalf and publication and stomp it on watermarked paper. Dedicated the inventory of bodies and organisations you have to notify and the potential proofs over what constitutes an original credential, this seemed a reasonable compromise.

Perhaps “its been” naive, but we didnt expect to meet with opposition. Uncertainty, perhaps. Intrigue, for certain. When it is necessary to getting married, we had ditched almost every institution moving, prohibiting the union itself, and no one had wondered us. Surely this too would be seen as a modern update on an outdated habit. But when we announced our decided not to our families, the reaction was mixed.

Franki and Rob. Picture: Christian Sinibaldi for the Guardian

While they understood our predicament, the common restraint was that the child would lose the connection to its family history. Try as I might, I cant know what this is. To me, family history disappears far deeper than ones appoint. Its in accordance with the rules “were living”, our values, the gumption and shared ordeal passed down through generations. It is part of the storytelling our parents did and its in the narrations we, very, “re going to tell” and the beliefs we will share.

Our beginnings are not in our identifies, they are in our centres. My grandmother, whose surname was Jones, is important to me not because of her refer but because of her adoration. My great-grandmother, a midwife I never even assembled, let alone shared a identify with, forms a part of my feel of identity. Why? Because of the behavior my “mothers ” talks about her, because of the pictures she has decorated in my heads of state of that life, that family, that time.

Interestingly, the appoint itself has also supported a sticking point, with a few people commenting that its bearing. Youre doing this really unusual thing but youve picked a really everyday identify, said one colleague, as though by doing something different we are obliged to go the whole hog and announce ourselves Rob and Franki Thundercats.

In fact, the accessibility of the mention was something we fantasized would help us sell the idea. It is about to change “were in” naive there, more. My baby, a former primary school teacher, insisted that someone called Stone would be teased. Another relative describing him as a dead weight of a name.

In my experience, children will come up with nicknames no matter what. I wasted much of my school years known as Franki Cookie while my first name was frequently elongated to Frankenstein, Frankincense or Frankfurter.

Never tell people your epithet picks in advance, admonished one sidekick( too late ). Its as if telling beings in advance is inviting a talk or consultation!

While my familys impressions apparently matter to me, I suspect she might be right. Eventually, this is our decision, based on our motives, and I hope they will come to see it as a practical and positive step , not an irresponsible one.

Its almost impossible to get everyone on board, counselled another friend, who changed her surname by deed referendum in 2004. The suggestion upset my grandma but my papa, her son, understood. When I married my husband, he took my mention. Im still not sure his brother was 100% behind us, but when we had our first son, he was the first to be born into our empire. Im so excited that we are the first in our tree!

This is exactly how I detect. I love the notion that our newborn will be born into this new, specially choice and carefully thought-out family name. And if the working day he or she decides to change it either to something new or to one of our old family names we will fully support that.

Even when you change names, ancestry can still be traced and, if nothing else, I like to think we will be appeared back on as the ones who tried something new; who instead of clearing do with an disappointing place, made creatively about how to solve it. Thats their own families legacy Im happy with.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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[heckingturtles]

Doing a tag as a q & a

Instead of doing this like a normal person, I’m just gonna answer all of the questions. Actual tag here 

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Yessss! Like definitely a problematic  amount

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Like a solid 3?

3. The person you would never want to meet? My past self cause a) I was annoying as all hell b) space-time continuum

4. What is your favorite word? I don’t thing I have one

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Probably like a crabapple tree? Cause I’m surprizingly bitter most of the time

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? “Ehhhhh its too early for this shit”

7. What shirt are you wearing? An army green one

8. What do you label yourself as? Well, quite a few things. Nerd and bi are two of the big ones

9. Bright room or dark room? Dark

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? This age is pretty good

12. Who told you they loved you last? My mother/father probably, but aside from them, one of my best friends

13. Your worst enemy? Skinny jeans that don’t fit, but if you go a size up/down they don’t fit even more so theres just a lot of suffering

14. What is your current desktop picture? Me and a few of my friends poorly photoshopped onto the “Straight Out of Compton” poster (im not sure why i decided to do that but its there now and i dont want to move it)

15. Do you like someone? Yep

16. The last song you listened to? Carry On My Wayward Son

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Probably whoever is in charge of ISIS rn I bet they’re a douchebag

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? There’s this ONE kid i know but we’re not gonna talk about that

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Not a super big fan of slavery but i’d probably just have them bring me Ben and Jerry’s

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) I think my hair’s pretty cool, its hella curly and I like that about it

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? Probably a lot like my dad, and I’d probably try to hook up with someone just to try it out

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Not really

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? This isn’t that unique but i’m afraid of time passing

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. The Fitzwich from AOS 

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Tbh Im probably gonna spend it on cosplay/my city’s comic con (cause im human trash)

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Melbourne

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? I’ve never drunk before (yep - I’m that kid) but i’ve heard dark rum is good and if they have it in the brand with that pirate dude on it i’d get that

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Everyone is to be treated equally 

29. What is your favorite expletive? Dumbass

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? The owl necklace my grandma got me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I took this one really cringe selfie so i’d like to earase having taken it

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Sweden, they seem to have their shit figured out

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Nah that never turns out well. I refuse

34. What was your last dream about? I have no idea

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? Friend? I hope so

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yep. Last year i broke my finger in two places

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Im Canadian, my childhood revolves around snowmen

38. What is the color of your socks? Blue with penguins

39. What type of music do you like? All (except im not a super big classical or trap fan)

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Mint chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) I don’t really watch sports (except basketball and in that case Raptors all the way)

43. Do you have any scars? Yeah, one of a scratch mark on my arm from when another kid clawed me

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? Rich

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I’d like to have telekinesis

46. Are you reliable? Yes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? Does everything work out

48. Do you hold grudges? 100% (I am aware that makes me a bad person)

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A house cat and bird

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? I once had a conversation about my friends’ sex lives, but we never said “sex” we said “tea” and used various other tea metaphors

51. Are you a good liar? Sorta?

52. How long could you go without talking? Like a week at most

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? I had the mushroom bob in 4th grade and it was rough

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Yep (it wasn’t great, but it was cake)

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Since I spent my entire childhood watching Harry Potter, i can do a pretty good British one

56. What do you like on your toast? I don’t like toast

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? Its been a damn long time so idk

58. What would be you dream car? A car with modern safety and stuff, but with the frame of an old muscle car

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. I sing ALL OF THE TIME

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yes 100%

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Whenever it shows up on my feed

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? J

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons

64. What do you think about babies? They’re pretty okay most of the time

Woo! Hope y’all enjoyed having far too much information about me