#theres so many things to me that are just *obvious* as someone who has grown food before that is just a mystery to non-gardeners

[saint-ambrosef]

sometimes when talking about food, it becomes apparent very quickly to me as a gardener whether or not the person i'm talking to has ever grown food before

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

who in skz and ateez give you the ick the most and who in the two groups makes you cringe the most?

bangchan bro is a manchild and has no boundaries with stay enough said, would be very dramatic in a relationship but as always stay will overworship the grounds this grown man walks oj when he is indeed a walking red flag

lee know or seung min is second for me in skz, i dont like their behaviour the way they mistreat certain members is as childish as school bullies and their dgaf attitude stinks just grow up. i dont know why but they make me so annoyed even writing about them gives me the ick. more red flagged than chan tbh. im certain lee know would only want a relationship if he has someone to do things for him.

for ateez its

hongjoong again these leaders arent beating the manchild vibes lots of people worshil him in a romantic sense but i dont get no romantic vibes from him again he uses hwa as his personal maid but i adore his performances yet i would not see myself dating someone who cannot cook nor clean after themselves. red flag material right there.

hmm i debated this one but wooyoung only cares about himself. often has such a potty mouth that no one stops him from saying some really hurtful unfunny things again bit like lee know there seems to be more about feeding his ego than helping anyone else out if he ever get in a relationship id be surprised that it last longer than a month prox. again more red flagged than the leader. but hes another heavily worshipped member that i just dont vibe with i think hes too rude at times to his members or even others without realising and he hides behind this demeanor trying to be funny but its rude asf. yet people think hes so wonderful yes at performing but personally not my type of partner.

i think my problem is i can see through an idols idol image but people will really overworship their faves and claim this and that about them to defend their feelings because they dont ever want to see their faves in a bad light yet i think many of them are often worse than they deem themselves to be.

i also feel like they can easily manipulate their fans into having stockholm syndrome like their fans will just be ohhh he is so dateable and theres nothing wrong he could do but they never consider the fact these idols really really know how to perform to make people idolise them in such ways. especially given how young most stays seem to be in their teen years and again i like their performances but thats it for me. i aint being deluded no more yet if we try to ever comment anything undeluded we get shitted on for it.

what do you think about this? its ridiculous the lengths people will go to to absolutely claim their faves can do no wrong when its obvious in their on camera behaviour. i almost feel too old to be caring about this stuff but i see it more and more how whacked out it is, bangchan and stays relationship is like a toxic ex that never lets go of the relationship so what do some idols really expect people to be like towards them? they practically encourage unhealthy behaviours from the get go. "hey chan pin me up the wall" chans response "say please?" just yikes big effing no.

This is all just my opinion since I don’t know them.

First off Stockholm syndrome is wild 😭

You can just say they can make their fans delusional but like Stockholm syndrome is very different and very serious?

It’s not something to be taken lightly or thrown around

Also same with manipulate just in the connotation you used it in

I agree that they definitely feed into a lot of fans’ delusions and such

But it’s their job to

Now, I don’t think any particularly make me cringe more than others. Other than Mingi. I love him. He’s one of my faves. But that “Gotta work gotta make that money make purse” whisper thing haunts me.

Still love him and I have nothing against him.

But yeah, they all make me cringe sometimes. All people do.

I can agree, however, that a lot of them have very apparent red flags. I can also agree that fans can be overly delusional

With the Chan “say please?” thing I think that’s mostly fanservice. And also like…How else do you respond to that in his situation? He can’t overtly turn the fan down if he wanted to. This is a job. It never necessarily rubbed me the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong I’m not all into it going Gaga or whatever, but he’s an idol. His JOB is to appeal to the masses and feed into the delusion because that’s what pays and feeds him.

Honestly with Chan he’s always been very interesting to me. He reminds me of a teen parent a lot. In the sense of he never had quite got the chance to grow up but also had to grow up too fast at the same time. So you have that balance of being overly immature and overly mature. I wouldn’t call him a manchild though, he never gave me those vibes.

Honestly he seems more responsible than what people give him credit for. I feel like with Chan he’s just more mature in general than he’s given credit for, even with how he interacts with his group and certain situations.

But I think the disconnect is how deeply delusional he can be overtly. Which honestly I can understand. He’s a prime example of what happens when essentially your entire life from 13 to 27 is devoted on one thing. You start to worship it, almost. Put it on a platter and view it as the best thing ever. Do whatever you can to appeal to it. Become obsessed with it.

It’s part of what I hate about how young trainees are. You’re told your entire life that your fans are all that matters. You can’t date because you’d be betraying your fans. Have to be perfect so your fans love you and you want their love. Have to act both ‘sexy’ and ‘cute’ so that your fans will adore you, but lean into one too heavily and you’ll be too much. And most of all his life is dictated by them.

I feel like imo the Stockholm syndrome title if applicable to anyone in the situation goes to the idols.

Now, I can see the immaturity in him. I’m not saying it’s not there. But I wouldn’t call him a man child.

Like even looking at how he handled the situation of not being able to debut. He was a trainee for 7/8 years and never debuted. Of course an argument can be made of his immaturity because of that. But it takes a very very mature person to be able to sit there and say “I’ll debut when it’s my time to debut” and push through that. Or at least a very strong person.

This may just be my personal opinion.

And to say he has no boundaries with stay I feel is both accurate and innacurate. He has boundaries when it comes to certain things. Stay is often the one lacking boundaries. And if you spend 7 years with people pushing and pushing and disrespecting your boundaries and viewing you as an object you’ll start to believe there aren’t any boundaries there.

Does he say some cringeworthy stuff because of it? Yes. But the behavior in and of itself is entirely understandable.

With Lee Know and Seungmin I wouldn’t say they mistreat members. You can tell they care about the other members. But I can agree they can go to far in the things they say. Now, I’m not going to claim I’ve seen everything SKZ has ever done. Namely those two. But from what I’ve seen mistreatment is an over exaggeration of the highest order.

You’re acting as if Lee Know is a selfish person who doesn’t like someone who can’t do all kinds of stuff for people which isn’t something he’s necessarily shown? I can agree that sometimes he takes what he may believe as light hearted teasing or playful words too far. I’m not saying he doesn’t. But you can tell he never necessarily means for it to be purposeful.

And Stray Kids themselves have even stated he’s less like that with Felix because Felix can’t handle it. Which, using media literacy, means that if someone voices they don’t like it or he can tell they can’t take it he won’t do it. And Lee Know also added I.N to that and said he doesn’t fool around with him as much.

I’ve had friends who are similar. I even have family who are very similar. When you’re used to people showing their affection by…I don’t want to say making fun of you but making fun of you and saying certain things, you start doing that.

I’m not saying that’s his case. I don’t know him. But it’s an example.

And you can tell he’s caring. You can tell he cares about his members. You can even tell from the Muslim kid he’s been sponsoring.

Now, he has very apparent red flags I’ve seen. Like I said, he takes things too far sometimes. And honestly I don’t know what you mean by grow up. You can tell he cares about things but generally he doesn’t let things get to him because he’s mature. I know this statement is…Annoying, but some times things simply are not that deep. Plain and simple. He can understand it.

If there’s certain times he’s taken that too far I don’t know. I haven’t seen all of SKZ’s content.

With Seungmin, I haven’t watched a lot of stuff about him. I’ve only seen things he’s said to Bangchan about being old, and I can’t remember Chan’s reaction so I really can’t tell if he took offense to it/was hurt by it or not. Depending on Chan’s reaction it’s an entirely different…Comment? Dunno if that makes sense but I can’t find any other way to word it.

With Hongjoong I can admit I don’t consume a lot of Ateez content outside of their music and some interviews/moments I see on my feed. Mostly because I’m a more casual enjoyer of them than anything. But I’ve never seen him act like a man child? Ever?

If you have clips that give you those vibes let me know but I haven’t seen them.

Wooyoung I can see where you get certain things from. IMO, a lot of those things just read as he’s too…I guess confident. Bold. Unapologetically all up in your face saying whatever. People like that can sometimes be rude because they don’t take the time to think before they say or do things. They just do.

Though I don’t see the selfish aspect. You can tell he loves and cares for his members and even his friends outside of Ateez like Changbin/Felix for example since we’re on the topic of SKZ.

Maybe this is a difference of perspectives or content consumed. I don’t know. I hope you don’t feel like I’m trying to like…Disprove you or discredit your opinion because I’m not. I’m more giving my two cents on what’s said.

But yeah, people need to stop pretending their faves do no wrong. Because they do MUCH wrong. They have their ‘WTF’ moments and their cringe moments because they’re human.

But ngl I feel like (No hate or offense by this) you may fall into the polar opposite? Like you’re giving them too much grief for very human things they do and kind of bringing them to an extreme.

But it also might be because I’m the type of person who tries to think of the reasoning of an act rather than the act itself. Though the act always weighs in. And I’m also much less…Emotional? Generally? I attach less to it even if I can understand other’s emotions.

I like to look at all aspects of a situation. That can also be a disconnect

But yeah, in conclusion idols are humans with red flags who do very human things I guess

This reads like a rant but is not one 😭

[henqtic]

Hi, can I request a Draco x reader in which they are best friends and reader is narcissistic, so when Draco starts to change in their sixth year, reader gets angry with him and ends their friendship until Draco tells her about his dark mark and reader realize how she is and try to improve. With a happy ending in which after winning the war both confess their feelings. im sorry if it's confusing

I can do better - d.m.

- word count: 2.2k

- warnings: mentions of scratching skin, please contact me if theres more !

- a/n- I’ve never really had an encounter with a narcissistic person and I don’t exactly know how to write them out so I did sort of switch that part up but everything else is the same <33

- masterlist | draco malfoy masterlist | gif creds | taglist form |

Countless years of friendship, down the drain all because he had been acting differently. Ever since your sixth year had started, Draco had been off. Quitting quidditch when he was so close to becoming captain— something that he had been determined to do ever since he made his way onto the team in your second year.

He’d rant on and on between lessons of how you should be honored to be talking to Slytherins future star player and quidditch captain. 

There also weren’t any more occurrences where he’d stay up countless hours with you as you as you went on and on about the different aspects of astronomy— something that you had been overly interested in ever since you took the course as one of your electives in third year because you didn’t want to take ancient runes.

That was the same year you started to see him differently, maybe in a way that friends shouldn't have. And you played it off as something small, it’s not wrong to think your best friend looks good a few days out of the week, it’s just something friends do.

Well that was what you were telling yourself as you got used to finding even the smallest things he'd do cute. But it seemed that you weren't the only one having those feelings, that he had seemed just as interested as you were, so you grew comfortable with the situation and the attention.

The comfort of it all had grown even more when you were the first one he asked to accompany him to the yule ball without a second thought and you didn’t hesitate to say yes.

And even after everything that had happened last year with his father getting thrown into Azkaban, he hadn’t pushed you away but you were the first shoulder he came to cry on, and shamelessly at that. He wasn’t embarrassed in the least because he trusted you that much. Why wouldn't he?

It hurt that those were no longer the circumstances but that they were now almost the complete opposite. The shock of no longer having him and being his main source of attention scared you, it made you irrationally jealous at the thought of maybe he had moved on to someone else.

And while all of that was wrong, you couldn’t see it because your focus was on what you had lost and were no longer getting. So you were the person to end that friendship.

When you had told him that you no longer wanted anything to do with him, he seemed like he didn't care, almost like he wanted you to let him go and it made a deep pit form in your stomach.

It had only grown as you’d watch him from across the dinner table, bags prominent under his eyes and as days passed, he started to look more and more sickly.

To say the least, you had been riddled with guilt and thoughts of if you even should be— if you thought about it, you only hurt him before he could hurt you. But for some reason, it feel that way.

You decided to talk to him again, not as an apology but more of a deal that you could just move on and not think about because. It’s like when your parents call you to dinner instead of saying sorry for yelling at you, thinking that food was a piece offering.

So now you were roaming the halls in nothing but your pajamas and school robes remembering the times where Draco would be here on your side.

It was almost a daily thing for you both. You’d get tired of all of the homework that was required by the professors so you’d go and run around to try and get your ‘creative juices’ to come back. And while all of that did pain you, you were almost certain. That everything would go back to normal and things would be fine.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a cry sounding through the wide halls and you quickly realized it was a very familiar cry. And instead of just ignoring it, curiously took over, persuading you to follow to the source of their sounds. Moaning myrtle's bathroom.

You hadn’t a chance to ask what was or had happened before the ghost gave you a look of deep sympathy and floated into one of the nearby stalls. A splash followed, alerting you that she had gone down the toilet leaving you time to carefully step through the open space.

You tried your best to approach the person without disturbing them completely, but when you identified them, it was much harder.

“Draco is- is that you crying?” You asked, catching sight of the boy on the ground, left arm clutched to his body as if he had just burned himself.

“It’s not like you would care l/n,” he scoffed, trying to wipe his face and pull down his sleeve before you could get completely in front of him.

The last time you checked the clock, it was three in the morning and for some reason he still had his uniform on. The only sign of comfort was that his tie was a little loosened— had he not gone to sleep at all?

“Why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong,” you huffed, once again getting irritated that he wouldn’t tell you anything going on. The thought not coming up into your head that maybe if he didn’t want to be so open about this topic, maybe it was for good reason.

“You’re the one who said you didn’t want anything to do with me so, I’m good thanks.” He wasn't anywhere as upset as you were, more hurt if you will.

“You didn’t seem to care much when I did tell you,” you countered, making him exhale deeply and run hands through his hair.

“It was for your safety. Don’t you understand that?” Your face scrunched in confusion of what was so top secret that he couldn’t even tell you to ‘keep you safe.’ He was already tired of the argument and decided to not answer you, in words at least.

His hand swiftly went down to the end of his sleeve to reveal to you his, what should have been bare arm, but there was a mark, a dark mark. Your eyes stayed on his arm for seconds you didn't take the time to count.

Not only was the mark of the dark lord staring at you but so was the amount of irritated skin around it. There were scratches, old and new, liked he thought the actions would erase the marking.

Your eyes slowly shifted to look into his glossed over ones, staring down at the spot that you previously were, But instead of the stare being out of shock, it was a mixture of shame and disgust. “I am sorry Draco. I didn’t even think that you would—”

“I didn’t have much of a choice, it was either this or my family gets killed,” he revealed, disgust lacing his voice.

Had you been that blind? Now that you're thinking of it, you hadn’t even asked him once if he was okay but complained about him never having time for you now.

And it was pretty obvious that a sixteen year old death eater being in Hogwarts couldn't mean anything good. He was probably under so much stress and you, someone who was supposed to be there for him wasn’t.

“Draco I—” 

“I don’t need your poor try at an apology,” he said harshly, moving his arm out of your hold.

“No, really I—,” you choked on your words as if you didn’t have the ability to mutter a simple apology. Wait, had you always been that way?

“I am so sorry for everything and I know that I should've been so hard on you. I can’t imagine how horrible this year has been for you. I don’t even know how I completely overlooked you.”

You hated the way you made him feel, you hadn’t even thought your actions were that harmful seeing as you had always been that way. And that's when the realization hit, you had always been that way.

There were probably so many other occasions where you put yourself over others without a second thought and all the friends that you had, that had distanced themselves from you weren’t for no reason, but it was for that one.

You were suddenly pulled into his body, strong arms finding their way around you. The embrace wasn’t desperate, no, it was more of a silent plea that you’d stay and at least try to change your ways.

And you were going to do so much better than that. Your arms moved to hug him back, a sense of security coming over you both, enough so for him to let go and crumble into your arms once again and simply, cry.

After that night, your relationship slowly rebuilt itself, even though the first few days had been awkward seeing as he hadn’t truly accepted your apology, and understandably. But that only made you so much more determined to change, to improve not for only yourself but for the people around you.

And that’s just what you did, re-become the shoulder that was always available to cry on and the ears that were always open to listen when he needed to vent about not being able to fix the cabinet and how stressful it was.

Not to mention when he was done with it, he didn’t know how he wouldn’t mess up on the task of killing the headmaster.

But that also led to you trying your best to make him laugh again, and even though it wasn’t about seeing a boyish smirk come over his face as he jinxed unsuspecting students it was still something.

It was enough for you to see a sliver of a smile come over his even if it was from you tripping over the things in his room.

And when you finally did successfully make him let out a genuine laugh you were over the moon, you didn’t remember what it was he laughed at because immediately after you started cheering, that mission make Malfoy smile again had been completed.

That was probably the day that you realized that those feelings of more than platonic friendship were coming back.

That didn’t stop the crying you both did the night before he had to leave Hogwarts because while it does sound selfish, you wish he could've stayed that he didn't have to leave because you were going to miss him.

You even went to the extent of trying to convince him to let you join him but he immediately shut you down, not even entertaining the idea.

The manor wasn’t anything like it had been through your childhoods, but now it was stuffy and riddled with death eaters at every door. And there was no way he was going to willingly put you in that situation so you stayed at the castle.

Months later he was back at the school and of course, desperate to see you again. The last year had been hard for everyone and it was probably one of the worst for Draco. Not only did he figure out that his third year crush on you wasn’t so simple anymore but he had also realized it was so much more than that.

Standing by your side, on the side of Hogwarts only reinforced that idea. And as his parents beckoned for him to join them, he didn’t want to.

He wanted to choose the side that had been screaming out to him ever since he had become a death eater. And you were the one to not push him to stay or leave. But the slight squeeze to his hand was letting him know that whoever he did choose, you would be there right by his side.

And now as he watched Voldemort's body deteriorate, chipping and floating away like a piece of paper, a feeling of relief came over him, it was all over. 

But that wasn't the only feeling that came over him because now he was determined, determined to tell you just how he felt and that’s what he did, hands still tightly weaved together as he pulled through the ruble.

You beat him to it though, confessing how much you loved him. And how throughout your years of Hogwarts he had always been such a great friend to you and how much you adored him even when he had his flaws. How you appreciated how he gave you a second chance, one to grow and one to improve on yourself.

And soon after that, he realized that you were in the same condition that he was and it wasn’t sickness but love; giving his own sappy take on confessing his feelings, you hadn’t only felt love Darco and he hadn’t only felt love for you but it was the feeling of being in love.

Draco Malfoy was completely and utterly in love with the girls standing in front of him at this moment and you felt the same for that boy standing in front of you.

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[xhudgenssistersconfessions]

Ok but has it ever been through anyones mind that they've had several 'falling outs' before. Or grown distan at times .I feel like thats normal for friendships but with someone thats been in your life for so long you figure it out and get back to normal eventually. This is just the first time where its been noticeable on social media specifically from Vanessa's side. I don't like Ashley for many reasons but I think they'll get back to being close again. lol

I think its obvious Vanessa stopped giving effort not only to Ashley but to Kim and Nat etc. Because ever since the breakup V has changed a little and her friend group changed. But everything goes both ways. I feel like the girls understood that her life has changed since Austin & how the dynamic of their group changed because shes not a mom. Which is why we will still see kim and nat around from time to time bc theres no problem there. But Ashley speaks so much of effort wheres hers?

As you can see, austin was gone for almost 2 years (working ofc) and their friendship hasn't changed so it's not about seeing jupiter... it's something else that was already happening before the pandemic

What I understand from Ashley’s and Nikki’s fallout is that Nikki was becoming very friendly with the owner of ATORG and telling him private things. I don’t blame ash for cutting off that friendship.

I'm sorry but Vanessa has consistently shown herself to be the turn the other cheek queen who has consistently made friends with and forgiven people not even a saint would not forgive. So sorry Ashley fans, if she has fallen out with Ashley, Ashley is the problem. End of discussion.

Nac… I’m literally so over this Ashley talk. We’ve all known for awhile they haven’t been close. They’re literally on different life paths, it’s not hard to imagine that they don’t have much in common anymore. Nobody has said that Vanessa is perfect lmao it’s literally funny that Ashley stans keep saying that. It’s clear that on both of them they don’t make an effort to see eachother for whatever reasons that they have. But I do have to say y’all Ashley stans know damn well that Ashley has been posting about Austin WAY more than she ever has. Vanessa has spread herself pretty thin I think, she practically lives in two different states and travels for work and travels to see Cole wherever he may be. She’s also been more private I think…after Vaustin broke up Vanessa was fairly open with everything and posting a lot of content and now that’s calmed down ALOT. And for you Ashley fans you all know she’s been shady as fuck so stop acting like she’s innocent, it’s just now that Vanessa has been reactive and seemingly being shady herself (for the first time towards A)

Look i dont want to look biased or anything but did WE ever see V feuding with someone or did WE ever see her shading someone in insta ? No but for Ashley yes WE Saw her being shady so many Times on insta to V or other female friends and let me not start with her shady bahaviors with V's exes zac or Austin are WE forgetting about those zac's beach pics right After his breakup with Vanessa and when he stopped caring about her she went with her team V methods

[piercedandbored]

Well,, i just finished the last animated episode of Nana and I have a few thoughts,, also i feel empty feel empty for some reason but im just going to ignore that (there will be spoilers !!!)

- I absolutely hate sachiko (the one shoujo cheated on hachiko with) her character was annoying and i wanted to punch her pretty much everytime she was on screen,, Her character isnt intresting and her actions fucking suck,, I am very pro sachiko slander

- Despite reira being a literal pedophile,, I think she was written really well,, she is a very layered character who is greedy and selfish and in a way very manipulative,, using shin was a horrible thing,, the only good thing about her is she has nice hair, but I liked watching scenes with her,, seeing her interact with trapnest/other characters was insightful,, sometimes it feels like you could almost justify her actions if it wasnt for the absolute no no illegal shit she did since she acts so lovely wtih some characters,, (DOING THINGS WITH A FUCKING MINOR????????)

- Ren wasnt interesting,, I never really felt like i was getting to know his character or why he does what he does,, etc, most of the interesting parts came from mostly Nana,, but I still feel like he’s somewhat of a realistic character,, there just doesnt feel that much to him on a very surface level

-Hachiko did get on my nerves at some points,, but she was greatly mistreated by so many people that it angered me,, even at times be Nana,, shin was probably the truly nicest person to her,, she has a lot of natural human flaws,, and she was a very greedy and materialistic person who was on the more sensitive side, and really only seemed to think the most about relationships,, she did have a mothering quality that probably attracted shin to like her,, In summary I Both love her and dislike parts of her,, she has some pretty unhealthy mindsets but has shown she can grow

-Nana definitely came off as a complex person,, she was abandoned by her mother at a very early age and that affected her pretty much at every point throughout her life,, I kind of thought it would be more empowering for her not to be so focused on ren,, and for a while she wasnt,, and she kept trying to reject the idea of him in the year off that he went to tokyo,, but in the end (of the anime) she was with him,, I also feel like thats realistic and I dont blame her for that,, She seems to need him in one way or another,, but i know shed be able to survive even with just Yasu

-Yasu was probably the big brother/uncle/father role everyone needed to keep their shit together,, I swear he mustve lost all his hair from second hand stress of these broken people,, I godamn love this man,, and he handles things so well,, and maturely too,, he always dealt with everyone during the whole show,, and pretty much always knew what to do,, we all need a yasu in our lives

-Shin’s character was pretty heavy ,, its very obvious his way of (TW,, S/H) hurting himself was sleeping with older woman,, it was for sure a destructive behaviour,, He basically got manipulated by reira even though she still liked yasu,, and shin was aware but its sad to know that he pushed that aside just because hefelt like for once someone valued him,, Hachiko was one of the only people that loved him without expecting anything in return,, conculsion - shin needs a better family and therapy,,

Theres more characters but Ive written a lot so Im just gonna leave it for now,, I will 100000000%%% rewatch the show again and again and again forever and ever,, Im only a teenager and these are real life mature themes and actions that I want to understand better and I’ll make sure to watch it even when im a full grown adult,, I want to understand it all as much as I can

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Visiting Yuji in Tokyo

“yuji x reader where she was childhood friends with yuji and its basically the friends to lover sort of thing? and basically reader is visiting tokyo and meets up with yuji for the first time in months?? bonus if gojo and megumi are there :)”-anon

Damn its either super short or long no inbetween huh? Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted! Some of the characters are little ooc (when are they not when i write them-).This turned out much much longer than it needed to be

You and Yuji have known each other since kindergarten

He’s such a sweet kid its always really fun to hang out with him

You guys play lots of video games together and are basically inseparable

Constantly reading manga or watching anime its great

Your parents disapproved of you hanging out with a dude all the time but you could care less

Why should you only be friends with your own gender? Thats so stupid

You always wondered about why yuji had such great strength and speed but he says he was just born that way

Hes just built different

Around middle school his grandpa’s health had dropped and was moved to the hospital

You did your best to make sure yuji stayed in good spirits and often visited the older itadori with him

He’s not the best at wording things but hes always there for emotional support

Maybe it was around 7th grade you noticed something was different around yuji

Like he himself hasn’t changed but whenever you look at him your heart just melts

Your thoughts or compliments seem more filled with love for him and thats when you realized you started to fall for him

Thinking the crush would go away you didn’t act much on it

Oh what a fool you were

Around 8th grade yuji had started acting kinda weird around you

He’d be much more easy to fluster and tenses up for a second if you ever make contact

You confronted him about it and cue the very awkward and middle school like confession

“I really like you!

You were so happy you confessed back and said that the only reason you didn’t before was because you feared to ruin your friendship

He says even if he somehow didn’t like you back that something like that wouldn’t effect anything

From then on you guys are such a wholesome couple

All the cuddles

No fancy dates just casual arcade or movie sort of things

His grandpa gave him a hard time but approved of your relationship

Throughout 8th grade summer and the beginning of highschool everything was going great

But a few months into highschool lots of things happened

Yuji’s grandpa had passed away, he and his friends in the exorcist(?) club had gotten hurt and after that night he had weird markings on his cheeks right below his eyes

And to top it all off now he was supposedly moving to tokyo??

“Yuji why are you moving away? My parents would gladly take you in you know”

He tells you he can’t explain why which breaks your heart

“Who are you staying with then??” he stops for a second and it pains him to lie to you. “A distant relative of mine, he works at a private school and thats where i will be going from now on.”

“But what about us?”

And so you guys decided to do a long distance relationship

Every night when you can you call and chat for hours

But thats not enough

You want to be held or hold him, you want to just cuddle or atleast be in the same room

It pains you to have a relationship through a screen and you grow respect for those who do

Trust isn’t an issue since you know yuji wouldnt even think to cheat at all

Probably doesnt even know what the word means

But after a few months you decide to go to tokyo for a few days

With the help of your parents you rent a room in a hotel and head there

Were just gonna pretend your parents are super super chill(and slightly uncaring like my parents would never let me) and lets you go to a whole city by yourself for several nights

You were super nervous and excited

Its your first time visiting a huge city like tokyo and its gonna be the first time you see yuji in months

Itadori was super excited that you were in tokyo

So excited that he got lost trying to head to the hotel you were staying at

After an extra hour you guys finally meet

He walks through the hotel lobby doors and gives a smile and a wave

In an instant you tackle him in a hug which he GLADLY hugs back in

After just holding each other for a while he decides to show you around

Hes still clearly learning the area himself but he’s very excited to show what he does know

“The place over here makes amazing sushi! Oh! And over here they sell little action figures! Oh oh and over here the steak is kinda bad but its cheap so its worth it! And-” you could only smile as he pointed in random directions with one hand, the other was busy holding yours

Buying food from a bunch of random vendors and wearing silly getups you guys take loads of pictures

Tons of hugs and cheek kisses

Yes its frowned upon to be touchy and stuff in public in japan but honestly you guys could care less

The sun was setting and you guys were currently sitting at a park munchkin on some crepes when you turn to him

“Yuji, do you think i could visit who your staying with? I’d hate to impose but i just wanna know if your in good hands”

His chewing pauses

Its not like he didn’t want you tell about jujutsu

But he doesn’t want you to be apart of that world, he wants you to stay as safe as possible with no harm ever headed your ways

With him being a vessel for sukuna gojo had told him that he and his friends could potentially be targeted

Theres a reason sorceres put up cloaks when engaging in battles and its so normal civilians can continue living in peace without the knowledge these monstrosities actually exist

“Mm its a bit sudden and he’s out on a mis-er meeting right now so maybe tomorrow?” he says

You frown, you can tell he’s lying but he wouldn’t do it without a reason

“Fine. But Yuji. Just know that if you ever feel unsafe or want to come back your more than welcome too. There will always be a spot for you at my home” you say hugging him

You both kinda forgot you were holding crepes and when you pulled away from each other laughed as the ice cream and sauce was smeared all over your shirts/jackets

He walks you back to the hotel and says goodnight with a kiss

The next two days went by in a flash

Just spending time with itadori, even if it was just sitting in silence has been the most fun youve had in months

He had showed you many places and has boughten many small trinkets for you to remember

Your phone has grown about 300 photos just from the past couple days with him

It was about midday of your final day in tokyo and so you both wanted to make the best of it

You both where sitting inside a cafe exchanging stories and just chatting when suddenly two people walked in the cafe

One was very tall and had spiked up white hair and was wearing a blindfold, and the other had spiky/messy black hair

You didn’t think much of it at first but did question the blindfold

‘A fashion choice?’

Turning your attention back to yuji you gave him a soft smile as you listened to his ramblings about a manga

“I love you” you said cutting him off

Immediately his face turned red and whatever he was just saying turned into stuttering nonsense

Before he could respond he let out a short yell when someone placed a hand on his shoulder

It was the two dudes who walked in from earlier

“So this is what you’ve been doing.” “Fushiguro! Gojo sensei!”

The shorter one who looks yuji’s age started talking about how it wasn’t good to turn his phone on mute and go out the whole day

The tall one gives you a wave

“Sorry to interrupt your date but we gotta take yuji away for a bit” he says grabbing yuji’s collar

“Wait who are you guys?” you ask and they pause to give short introductions

“Fushiguro Megumi.” “Gojo Satoru, nice to meet ya miss girlfriend” “How did you know??” Yuji says making gojo laugh

“Its pretty obvious, you didn’t do much of a job hiding it” he says pulling yuji a little bit more.

“O-Oh im L/n Y/n, nice to meet you” you say realizing you forgot to introduce yourself

As the three chatted along with each other, you sat in silence as you tried to remember where you heard gojo’s name from

‘Oh yeah, he’s the one who yuji described as his relative. Even if it was really fast since he tends to change subjects whenever i ask’

“Wait Gojo? White hair...blind fold..are you Yuji’s relative?” you ask making both of them pause

They both turn towards yuji who gave a sheepish smile

“Thats me, im his mothers little cousin” Gojo said, a very quick and random asspull

“So why does he call you Gojo-sensei instead of uncle…Satoru?” “Well if im his moms cousin that would make me his cousin once removed wouldn’t it? And he calls me sensei since im a teacher at a school he goes to”

“And what about you?” you ask the other boy

“A classmate.” he says in a very short and uninterested tone

“Welp lets go” Gojo says dragging yuji but he quickly resists

“Wait wait! Sensei can i please stay? Today is her last day here and i don’t know when i will be able to see her again”

The teacher and student stares at each other for a long time

You have literally no clue what the blindfolded man could but thinking its so hard to read him

Then again you just met him so

Gojo sighs and lets go of yuji

“Just this once, and only because im the greatest sensei you’ve ever had. Lets go megumi. See ya miss girlfriend” gojo says walking away with a wave

Megumi looks surprised but follows him “really?” “Yeah yeah its fine, its only a couple of grade 3’s anywa…” as their voices faded when they left the building you gave yuji a look

“Are you going to get in trouble?” “im probably going to die in training…” “huh?” “nothin”

The rest of the day you guys hang out and its mmm

Yuji would be such a good boyfriend hes so wholesome

When its time for you to part he give you a big hug, kiss and ‘i love you’

You do the same and tear up a bit

With one final photo you head back to your home town

You make it a mission to visit tokyo more often and yuji tries to visit you whenever he can from then on

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[chat-noir-always-here]

Marinette and Anxiety

First, lets count all the things Marinette has that Adrien doesn’t have:

She has a healthy and positive home environment

Both of her parents are living, active presences in her life

Tom and Sabine love Marinette unconditionally

On top of having loving parents she has extended relatives who care deeply for her

she is allowed to go out and have friends over

going to public school is treated as a necessity rather than a privilege

she has, to some degree, or at least more so than Adrien, knowledge of socializing and is able to perceive signals better

she is on good terms and has a history with almost all of her classmates

she is allowed to explore her hobbies

she is allowed to choose her own occupation 

she has the freedom to do whatever she wants with her schedule outside of school and curfew

I could go on but I trust my point is clear? Marinette is blessed with many of the things Adrien has been denied. Worse, everything listed above falls under the category of “normal” “common decency” or “necessity.”

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts because I’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” i use it for walls of texts like this one.

But Mari’s life, despite being vastly different and more fulfilling than Adrien’s, isn’t perfect.

In order to understand Mari’s struggles we need to take a look at her history.

We see in Origins that Marinette has been the target of Chloe’s bullying for a long time—three years or perhaps even longer. As is the case with many victims of bullying she lacked the courage and confidence to stand up for himself and more or less suffered in silence until Alya encouraged her to fight back.

Something to understand about bullying: it drastically warps someone’s perspective. Not only in how they view themselves but the people and environment around them. The end result? Some form of isolation and possibly PTSD. Bullying victims tend to be either physically/mentally withdrawn, or both.

Not a lot is known about Mari’s life before the Origins episode, but given that none of her classmates stood up to Chloe except Alya, we can infer that they have grown accustomed to Chloe’s treatment of Mari and are likely not especially close with her at this point in time. 

In her “In defense of Chat Noir” video, Toon Ruins states that Adrien isn’t especially close with his classmates yet either, saying he is “that friend that your mutual friends invite along and is just kinda there.” Its not unreasonable to presume that Mari was in that spot before she became Ladybug, befriended Alya, and developed enough confidence to stand up for herself as well as others.

It would also help explain why her friends were so quick to doubt her when Lila accused her in the Ladybug episode. Despite everything she’s done for them between Origins and Ladybug, they simply haven’t been close for very long and as Alya pointed out the evidence “was stacked against her.” Of course Alya and Adrien believed her because they are closer with Mari than practically any of her other classmates.

Adrien glaring at Lila when Marinette calls out to him for help. I cannot~~~~

Of course there was another, more obvious reason they doubted her: her feelings for Adrien and how intense she is when acting on them, which as Alya puts it served as her supposed “motive” for “hurting Lila.”

Marinette has often been seen crossing lines that are better off left uncrossed when it comes to Adrien. Her friends, especially the girls, are even somewhat aware of how intense these feelings are. (i.e. Alex’s comment during Gigantitan “Marinette knows a lot about Adrien it’s kinda creepy”).

More often than not, Mari wants to go somewhere mainly for the sake of seeing Adrien. Examples of this are when she’s supposed to wait for Nadja to come pick up her cake and during Simon Says when she is grounded for valid reasons . Often times there is some obligation involved—her promise to show up at Alix and Kim’s challenge and her promise with Nino in Simon Says—but chances are if Adrien weren’t there she wouldn’t want to go so bad (until an akuma showed up that is).

Something to understand about this: Mari has little to no opportunity to see Adrien. Worse, her history of being bullied and her previous status as an “acquaintance” rather than a “close friend” gives her at least some modicum of understanding about his situation. She empathizes with Adrien and cares for him, and is aware of his loneliness. During her life before Ladybug she likely longed for someone who would comfort and console her, and yeah probably found some relief with her mom given how Sabine seems aware of Chloe’s treatment of her daughter.

 But Adrien has no one, and knowing that makes Mari all the more anxious when he doesn’t show up for their social gatherings as well as driving her desire to be the source of love and comfort he so desperately needs.

I won’t deny Mari literally breaking the law for Adrien isn’t okay. Sneaking into his home, stealing his phone, and kissing his statue (its a statue in an important museum. Chances are you’re not supposed to touch those, let alone kiss them) are simply NOT OKAY things to do. A lot of this behavior earns her some hate from the fandom and some well-deserved scolding from Tikki. But rather than making me hate her, or call her a stalker, I’m mostly concerned that she doesn’t understand how bad that is. 

But Chat Blanc was a game changer. Adrien would NEVER have seen Ladybug in his room if she hadn’t taken her sweet time inspecting his belongings, smelling his pillow, etc. Meaning Adrien could have had her present and not known about Ladybug (he may have been curious as to how Mari’s gift got past security though). 

However since Marinette WAS seen by Adrien, he was able to learn her secret identity which led to this:

This is a scenario she never expected. And as she learns this was caused by her own poor judgement, she wastes no time in saving Chat Noir, erasing her name from her gift and allowing Adrien to believe it’s a gift from his Brazilian fan club instead of from her, Marinette.

Chat Blanc was one of the last episodes of s3. Safe to say she probably won’t be breaking into anything anytime soon (theres some debate over the chronological order of the episodes, but if I recall this one takes place either in the last four or five episodes on most lists). She nearly lost her kitty for good after all--that’s not a price she’s ever been willing to pay.

This likely wouldn’t have happened at all except Mari’s life as ladybug has caused her to become accustomed to certain behavior in order to keep her secret. Yeah Mari stole Adrien’s phone right out of his locker—and no that wasn’t okay. But remember when she stole her textbook back from Alya? Taking it right out of her bag when Alya wasn’t looking? Just so you know, in the French version, Mari tells Tikki she wrote her name in that textbook. So her secret identity was in grave danger and she had to act quickly.

You’re damn lucky Alya didn’t crack that book open the minute she got it, Mari.

Anyhoo the point is this: Mari is applying what she has come to know as “acceptable behavior i do to protect my secret identity” to her situation with Adrien and misinterpreting it as “acceptable behavior I do to keep Adrien from possibly rejecting me and crushing my soul.” And in her head, they’re similar even though the consequences of either secret coming out are vastly different.

Really think about the context of that voicemail she sent Adrien—if she had accidentally butt dialed Adrien while taking to Tikki about her life as Ladybug and then had to go steal his phone to keep him from learning the truth the fandom wouldn’t have had nearly as much beef with her over that as she wasn’t the one who created the “secret identities rule.”

The reason the two secrets are equally crucial in keeping, in Mari’s mind, is likely due to her overwhelming anxiety. Which even before she became the Guardian of Paris and then the Guardian of Miraculous she was still an anxious person.

She didn’t have much confidence or even a large support network. But in the span of one day she was entrusted with the safety and well being of every single person in Paris.

She didn’t believe she was cut out for being Ladybug but was denied the option of refusing the position and told to just do her best.

She knew going out she would likely screw up the job and given her task failure wasn’t really an option.

Then her worst fears were realized when she failed to capture her first akuma and many citizens were turned into stone statues. The only way to turn them back was to allow Ivan to be akumatized so she could defeat him and take his akuma. The very knowledge of which crippled her and caused her to give up the ladybug earrings.

She tried to go back to her normal life but couldn’t. Ivan was akumatized, Alya’s life was in danger and Chat Noir was struggling to the point he got captured and needed her help. So she took up being Ladybug again in order to help them.

What was she supposed to do? Watch?

From the very beginning she had no say in the matter. Her life as Marinette wasn’t and isnt easy—she has plenty of her own problems but she was given a Miraculous and basically condemned to being at war with Hawk Moth indefinitely.

Ever give a thought as to why the French government allow these two vigilante teenagers to handle the situation? Because ordinary people can’t. In other words if Mari thought only of herself she would give up the fight and ignore all the ensuing damage. But she can’t. And she won’t. She has a job to do. She could give up her miraculous but that would mean taking the pressure off her shoulders and dumping it all onto someone else just as it was dumped onto her. She cant bring herself to do that and even if she could—who would she possibly give it to?

Just imagining that kind of pressure makes me want hurl from nerves. And as of the S3 finale its gotten worse as she has lost Fu, the person who could give out Miraculouses to other people in case she never comes back one day.

Hawk Moth would win. Game over. That’s what it would mean.

Ladybug and Chat Noir know what Hawk Moth winning would mean better than anyone else does. Of course they won’t walk away from this fight. But that means they have to juggle their double lives until its over, and apparently have to do it again with a second hawk moth later on in the future.

And again, even before all of this Mari had a lot she suffered from. Chloe bullying her, feeling lonely, being clumsy. Clumsiness is mortifying--it truly means suffering. Being the class clutz is like being the class laughingstock. Mari seems to handle it fairly well.

 Until she’s around Adrien. I mean look at her!

Poor girl can’t stand looking so uncool in front of her crush. Even though he seems to find her clumsiness endearing.

Going off what was said in my “Debunking: Adrien is perfect” post, Marinette is hyper-sensitive to Adrien’s situation despite not really knowing the full extent of his suffering. 

Marinette doesn’t know Gabriel is Hawk Moth either, but she does understand Adrien is lonely, isolated and in need of a source of love and comfort. She also understands to some degree that his heart is delicate, so she constantly handles him with kid gloves and looks on him with a perfection filter. We see how Mari reacts to upsetting Adrien in Malediktator when she softly whispers an apology after Adrien expresses his sorrow over everyone celebrating Chloe’s departure. She seems pained and distraught over causing him to be upset. Thus the reason Marinette calls Adrien perfect isn’t that she never sees any of his flaws--she just cannot acknowledge or process them under these conditions. She’s too busy trying not to hurt him. 

Marinette can comprehend Adrien’s situation, couples that with her own past experiences of bullying/ loneliness/ being a clumsy laughingstock. That combined with her love for him and her anxiety-warped common sense, led to the behavior which has earned her some disapproval from the fandom at large.

 But really? Marinette’s not a terrible person. Anymore than Adrien is.

 Adrien’s sometimes-obnoxious-flirting is brought on by his desire to “not look lame” in front of Ladybug. Ergo, his own insecurities are amplified around her because he too lacks confidence.

 Likewise Marinette’s stammering and clumsiness are amplified around Adrien, as is her anxiety and her desire to be cool in front of him.

 They both feel they have to prove themselves to the other in some regard. And they both have past and present experiences that have left them hurting and/or warped their judgement in some ways. 

 This doesn’t make Mari’s irrational behavior any more acceptable than Adrien’s troubles make his leading Kagami on and lying to Ladybug acceptable. It’s not acceptable. But Mari is no more deserving of hate than Adrien is.

They’re just a couple of stressed out kids, folks

[zeytins]

i actually think the "bending as a measure for inequality" is okay in the avatar world because the bending population is large enough that they're not faced with persecution for being different (like many superpowered individuals, like in Marvel and other media) but also rare enough that it be commodified and hoarded by the elite. The pro-bending situation, at least for me, does show that well enough.

Like bending is extremely useful, it's not just like a combat destructive thing. It's got ways of making everyday life easier. And so of course in a growing industrial society that becomes very valuable. The most popular sport in the world becoming exclusive to benders would also indicate how much the gap between benders and non-benders has grown. Of course it's not a perfect metaphor and Bryke arent stellar writers at this but theres a good story here that could be better if further elaborated.

I mostly agree with you here! It’s an imperfect allegory, one that works well enough for the show. It makes sense, but we lack development. At least I do. Mostly because Mako and Bolin show us Republic City. Mako works a grueling industrial job with other lighting benders, a job that in history would probably take the place of, say, sweatshop labor. They’re a commodity being exploited by who? It could be Hiroshi, or Varrick, both of which are non-benders. 

On an industrial front, they’re doing the grunt work, which is usually not that well-paid. Easier to find a job, maybe, but I’m sure there are nonbender technicians that are valued higher above them. Then again, you could argue that someone who was a technician and could generate lighting could be much more valuable to the company. So what’s the solution to that inequality? I could think of maybe one or two, neither very good, but I don’t think bryke gives us an answer besides bending communism, which I guess is their where of making Amon’s cause more sympathetic.

On terms of systemic inequality, I agree that the top sport being pro-bending is an issue. The thing is, Mako and Bolin work their all their way to being second place champions and still have to ask Hiroshi for money. They still live in a loft above the pro-bending place. Aside from Asami asking Mako out on a date, it’s pulled them out of a gang and kept them housed and safe and fed and not much else. 

The best example we see is the gangs on Republic City’s streets. This is a good way to show, actually, because we see the gang terrorizing non-benders. My issue is that it’s just wayyy to comical that Korra rounds them up and the police force can’t, which begs the question: is the police force corrupt? But that’s for another day*. And then Amon starts with the chi-bending thing, and we see that trained non-benders can go toe to toe with trained benders. So then the way to address the inequality might be self defense classes, like the ones Asami was in. Either way, it shows that the baddest one on the block is the one with the most brute force. It’s easier to achieve that with bending, which is why the gangs work. 

*It says a lot that the police force is willing to subdue non-benders protesting and can’t get the gangs that the Avatar immediately finds after walking into Republic City. Like, it just can’t be that hard, not when Korra infiltrates them and everything after being there for two weeks. So THAT is something to definitely be more explored, rather than putting a “bad cop” in place of Lin and chalking it up to “well, the leader corrupted them” like was was Lin doing while she was police chief? Solving the occasional murder? Not trying to protect non-benders from the bending gangs or whatnot? Ok...

So in the end, we see that the biggest commodity that causes systemic oppression is money. They made it bending because money would be too obvious, but there’s nothing there that would actually help anyone. The population get its bending taken away, and non-benders receive more safety on the streets. But what about the next generation? The rest of the world? Does taking away bending help kids who were like Mako, or Bolin? To me, it just benefits people’s agendas, like Hiroshi and Tarrlok’s and Amon’s. People who are actually the elite. That’s why it probably falls flat, because we just don’t see the point of view of a regular person who follows Amon? Someone who genuinely wants inequality to end? Anyway. That’s my tirade. 

feel free to drop genuine questions or anything mildly amusing into my inbox about fandom/atlaverse or about your personal life let’s start discourse

[nobetterthansheshouldbe]

7 great ways to support your friends and neighbours through covid-19 financial crisis. (without referring them to foodbanks)

Tried and tested great ways to support your friends through covid-19 related financial difficulties that they will really appreciate.

We all know someone who financially struggling at the moment. Even if you’re not aware, chances are you do, and that they’re too embarrassed to say. I have spent the majority of my adult life working, making a good life, providing for my family and their future. For me and so many others so many this is in jeopardy. 

There have been over 3 million claims for Universal credit since lockdown. Thousands of small business owners, freelancers, newly self employed, limited company directors and contractors have been left out of government support schemes and their incomes have gone down to £409.89 a month. 

These are people who’ve worked hard in their careers, they’ve got mortgages and car payments and families depending on them. You know them, they live on your street, your kids play together, you’ve been enjoying Friday night zoom quizzes together. They’re me.

Its hard to know how to help without risking damage to an already crippled ego.   Its actually much harder to accept charity than to give it. UK mental health charity SANE has reported a 200% increase in calls to its helpline since lockdown. Its put many of us into a state of limbo, we can’t get a job in a supermarket, they’re all full, and the UK’s fruit farms have been inundated with applications from Brits (I’ve checked) and of course theres the childcare, with no school, who looks after the kids?

So… if you’re doing OK, and you're still got your job,  here are are ways you can support your friends and neighbours. 

COMMUNICATE:  It sounds obvious but a face to face conversation is a good start. Questions like “How are you?” And “How can I help” will make a world of difference. Mostly people don’t feel comfortable sharing their worries with those closest to them, especially if they’re cooped up in a house together, so bending the ear off a friend can be a huge release. It helps you to determine an appropriate way to help. Don’t just talk about finances though, your beard growing skills deserve a conversation too. 

MONEY: yeh sure money would make a difference but you can’t just post wads of cash through your friends letterbox, that would be weird. Besides, who has money to spare when the world faces the worst recession since the great depression? There are other ways to be supportive, but if you think you might be able to help financially then ask if they would accept it. A good friend of mine knew that my fridge freezer broke last month, and they asked if they could give me some money towards a new one. They didn’t make it weird or go on about how they were doing a good deed, they just gave me and envelope, I thanked them and nothing more was said. 

SUPPORTING THEIR IDEAS: It is highly likely that your friend has had many sleepless nights trying to think of ways to make ends meet. Ideas are born and they can see a glimmer of a silver lining to a very dark cloud. Please support them! Maybe its a total career change like writing online content (ahem..). They could be mowing lawns or renting out a spare room, maybe they’re making the ugliest jewellery you’ve ever seen. Buy it! Hire them! Share their social media page! 

BE MINDFUL OF PERSONAL STRUGGLES: This one really applies to everyone regardless of their financial situation. Adults and children with special needs and mental health issues have had little respite. Again its a difficult subject, as talking about our mental health is as taboo as talking about our finances, but I guarantee that there is someone close to you silently struggling with their mental health.  Take your neighbours kids out for ice cream, ask the single man next door if he would be interested in taking your dog for a walk around the block, play socially distanced frisbee. Make each other laugh.

FEED THEM: Food, it’s a tricky one. Nobody wants to admit they can’t feed their family, but its a harsh reality for many. New figures show that last month demand for food banks was greater than ever – an 89 per cent rise for The Trussell Trust, the UK’s biggest food bank network, while the Independent Food Aid Network, which has around 350 food banks, saw a 175 per cent increase in requests for emergency parcels. Believe me when I say that if someone is struggling to feed their family, then they know all about the local food bank, and that if they haven’t used it already, its up to them to decide when they’re ready to do so. What you can do is take them a good old fashioned lasagne, a shepherds pie, share a socially distanced BBQ once a week. Ask them to sample your bread making attempts or the courgettes you’ve grown in the garden or make room in your freezer by giving them 3 pints of milk you’ve been hoarding in there since March. 

BRIGHTEN THEIR DAY: Treats are great, they’re a bit naughty and self indulgent and they make us happy. Every now and then my neighbour leaves a bottle of beer on my doorstep, its a luxury I can’t afford and today an anonymous giant bar of dairy milk arrived in the post much to my children's (any my) delight. Its the little things that we used to take for granted that are missed the most. They don’t cost much but if your friend is cutting costs then treats are the first things to go. 

DO SOME RESEARCH: Charities that have emergency relief funds but their resources are running low, so they’re a great place to donate to. A lot of local charities aren’t brilliant at online marketing so they take a bit of searching for. Ask at your local council and citizens advice or tourist information, its easier to ask for someone else than it is for yourself. However, and I say this from experience, don’t give them your friends name, its not your place, just gather the information and then hand it over. Also, and I can’t believe this needs to be said but, don’t talk about it in front of their children. “Mummy are we poor?” is a heartbreaking thing to hear.

Writing this has made be realise how lucky I am to have such a great community of friends. I feel supported and valued and best of all I know we can get through this together. Listen to your friends, find out what you can do to support them and do it discretely. They’re your friend, and thats why you’re trying to help. It makes you a good friend too.

[ladyboltontoyou]

Arthur Morgan x Reader: Farmer’s Daughter

Ask: Ok well I was wondering if you could write an Arthur Morgan x Reader where the reader is the daughter of a rich farm owning family and Arthur rides up to the farm/ranch one day to scope the place out and see if they're easy to rob but somehow ends up with heart eyes for the reader and starts sneaking around to see her. Doesn't have to be smut, but that would be awesome. Thank you!

Warnings: Probably cursing. A bit of an age gap since Arthur is, you know, like 30 something, and the reader is still living with her parents.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader 

A/N: So this turned out longer than I had originally planned oops. ALso apparently freezers were invented around the 1830′s so don’t come at me for having ice cubes in Arthurs drink ok. I really hope this is what you imagined and it doesn’t seem rushed, even though I spent like 4 hours on it. Hope it’s not too short or too long. OKAY I’M DONE RAMBLING YOU CAN READ NOW.

The last thing you expected to see on a Friday afternoon was a stranger on a white horse riding up your dirt road. You had been reading a book on your upstairs balcony when you saw him, at first just a small white speck a ways away. But when that white speck started making noise you looked up and saw it was a man on a horse, a visitor. You rarely got visitors here that weren’t two men on a wagon full of supplies. 

You set your book down on the table and leaned forward to get a better look as he neared the front of your house. He looked handsome enough, even though you were on the second story balcony and he was on the ground below. From what you could see he was a rugged man about thirty or so, not the kind of men your parents usually dealt with. Your curiosity got the best of you and you walked back inside and downstairs where you saw your father opening the front doors. One of his work friends stood beside him in case things were to go south, his hand sitting comfortably on his pistol as a gentle warning to the stranger that stood on your porch.

“Sorry to bother you folks, I was looking for the Braithwaite manor and it looks like I got myself lost. Do you know whereabouts that is?” His voice sounded so friendly and warm, you would never expect that he was there to see if you would be easy to ransack. You watched the conversation go down from the bottom step of the staircase and tried not to look too obvious. 

Your father was totally oblivious and way too trusting. “No worries friend, these back roads are tricky. Fancy a drink? You look like you’ve been riding all day. Come inside and I’ll have my wife draw you up some directions.”

The man looked hesitant but eventually shrugged. “You’re too kind. I’d really appreciate it.” 

You took the chance to walk into the tea room since you knew they’d come inside any minute, and you didn’t want to look suspicious. Plus, you wanted to be nosey, it wasn’t often attractive strangers came by. You sat down at the table and picked up the book from the table, something you had already read before, and tried your best to look as if you had been doing it for some time already.

“Who’s that man outside?” Your mother had snuck up behind you and scared the daylights out of you when she leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“I don’t know.” You said after you recovered from the scare. “But he sure is good looking.” 

She peaked at the front door and nodded in approval at your taste. “You’re not wrong about that.” Thank god it was your mother and not your grandmother, she would have chided you for hours about being indecent. 

Finally, they came in and the man took off his hat, looking around as his eyes adjusted to the change of light. He looked even better looking close up. His facial hair was trimmed neatly but looked like it had grown in a little, the hair on his head the same. His face was partially spotted from the dust in the air from horse hooves but he didn’t look truly dirty, nothing compared to your farmboys.

 He looked around and seemed impressed with the place, his eyes looking into every room he could see from his spot. When he looked into the room your father began walking into, the tea room, he only spared you a short glance. 

Alright, well, you weren’t used to that. Most men who saw you immediately started complimenting your parents on how gorgeous you were, praising you and never failing to remark some version of ‘You’ll make a wonderful wife/Someone a very happy husband/Beautiful children’. But he didn’t say a thing.

“Darling, would you be so kind as to draw some directions from here to Braithwaite manor? Our friend  here has gotten lost.” Your father asked your mother who smiled and obliged, heading upstairs to get some paper. “Oh! I didn’t even see you there!” He said when he noticed you sitting on the couch. “Could you bring our guest some tea?”

The stranger looked at you and looked like he was about to decline and tell you not to worry yourself but you were already standing up. “Sure thing daddy, need anything else?” You asked sweetly with a smile. 

Your father looked to the man who just shook his head and tried to say ‘I’m fine’ and ‘No thank you’ at the same time. “No, I’m, thank you,” He jumbled over his words and looked visibly embarrassed. “I’m alright.”

You smiled widely, amused by that. He looked away and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Your father paid no mind and led him to the couch, talking about how harsh the month had been with no rain at all. 

When you got back from the kitchen with a glass of tea he looked up and accepted the glass from you happily, muttering a ‘thanks’ before he almost chugged the entire thing, even chewing on some of the ice. Your mother came down the stairs with a piece of paper in hand and one of your nice fountain pens in the other. 

“You’ll have to excuse my writing, I’m not the best artist.” She joked and sat on the single chair across from the couch. “You should have told our artist here to do it instead, she could draw him the best map he’d ever laid his eyes on.” She joked and you tried not to let them see how bashful she made you. She always bragged about you and anything you did, you could draw something purposefully awful and she would still treat it like a priceless painting.

“Oh it’s alright, I’m sure I’ll manage.” He chuckled, taking more ice into his mouth. 

You sat down on the other side of the couch and watched the man from the corner of your eye. He looked around the house while his jaw moved to chew the ice as if he was taking note of every single window and door. “Say, you folks-”

Your mother sighed in frustration, putting two fingers on her forehead in exasperation. “I’m sorry, I can barely draw a line. Darling, could you please?” She slid the paper across the table and gave you a sweet look.

“I’ll try.” You laughed and leaned down, taking the pen from her.

“What were you saying?” Your father asked from his seat and the man looked confused before he remembered.

“I was just going to ask if you knew of some good people to hire for security. Assuming those men at the end of the road are what I’m thinkin’ they are.”

“Yes, they work for a man named Michael, he hires men that used to be in the war and sells their services to those who can afford it.” Your father said proudly. Arthur just nodded.

“Here’s the house.” You said to the man as you drew a small house next to the scribbles your mother had done. He scooted closer to you carefully and watched as you drew. “And here’s the road. The corn fields are on the right, the tobacco on the left.” You kept talking as you drew and tried to focus on moving the pen instead of how close he was to you. His body heat radiated off of him and grazed your bare arm and neck, you could hear him breathing slowly. He smelt like smoke and day-old cologne mixed with the leather from his coat. 

As you gave him directions he would never need Arthur felt morality tug at his heartstrings. You were such good people, welcoming him into your home and showing such hospitality. He would have to tell Dutch there was no way, there were too many workers and guards, he would make something up. He came expecting a snooty rich family but was caught off guard by good people. You all had the generosity, kindness, and respect of poor folk.

When you finished you slid the map over on the table. “Let it sit for a minute before you touch it, the ink’s still wet.” You warned and put the cap back on the pen. “Especially here.” You laughed softly and pointed at the words of his destination where you had spelled it wrong the first time and scratched it out.

He nodded and muttered an ‘alright’, looking at you from a side glance. Your father talked for a while about the people who lived in the manor, not being shy about his opinion. Arthur couldn’t have agreed more but he kept up his facade and played dumb. 

“It’s dry now.” You said and Arthur looked away from your father. You were looking at the paper so he took the chance to actually look at you, unintentionally admiring you. Normally he was good about keeping his eyes where they belonged. If there was anyone who respected women it was Arthur, but it was hard not to appreciate your beauty. He figured your sweetness was the only reason he stared. It had been a while since he saw a sweet girl who wasn’t trying to pickpocket him or get him to spend a fortune in the saloon. 

“Thank you.” He picked up the paper and admired your work. One of the few things he could really appreciate was art. You drew so effortlessly, the small roads and hills looked like the maps he’d seen the professionals sell. “Well, I reckon I better be on my way, I’ve taken up too much of your time.” 

“Not at all.” Your father stood up and so did the stranger. They shook hands as he thanked your father who shook him off and pat his back a few times. “You sure there’s nothing else we could do for you?”

“You’ve done more than enough.” He promised and looked back to you and your mother, the paper held gently in his hands. “Thank you both for your hospitality. And for the map.” He held up the paper and you smiled, causing him to unknowingly do the same. 

When he started walking out the door with your father you ran upstairs and almost fell off your balcony to watch him ride off. The hot wind hit your face when you reached the banister, just in time to watch him ride off. He put his hat back on and took one last look behind him, not failing to notice the beautiful young girl watching him leave.

***

The frogs and crickets sang while the fireflies lit the black air with soft pulsating gold. You were on your banister half reading a book and half watching the farmboys work in the fields below, their lanterns bobbing gently through the rows of plants, stopping occasionally to pull up weeds or a dead plant. 

It was hard to read. It was stupid to even try. But there was nothing else to do to take your mind off of your thoughts, even though reading wasn’t doing a good job at that. At least it was something.

A dog barking in the distance made you set your book down. It was the dogs they kept up at the end of the road to warn when someone was coming. You waited a minute to see if they would calm down but they didn’t. You heard your father yell downstairs to the men at the end of the road, and they responded with something about deer in the woods. 

You believed it for a moment until you heard rattling from the other side of your balcony. The first thing that came to mind was some kind of greasy gunslinging bastard but before you could start screaming two arms hooked over the side of the ledge, covered by that same damn leather jacket you had been so close to earlier. 

It shouldn’t have made you feel any better considering his original intentions were to rob your family for everything they had. But for some reason you had a feeling he wasn’t a threat to you. That made you incredibly stupid and naive but thankfully, for once, you were right in this situation. 

When he finally pulled himself over he looked surprised to see you standing there watching him. “Now, before you start screaming,” He said as he reached up to grab the lantern that hung above him. “I’m not here to hurt you or anything like that.” He blew out the small flame and the two of you were suddenly surrounded by darkness. 

“Then why are you here?” You asked cautiously. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to see him again, but the last thing you expected was this. If anyone saw him your father's politeness would be out the window as well as Arthur.

He sighed as if he didn’t know why himself. “You been on my mind girl, and I don’t know why. I don’t know why my dumbass thought it would be a good idea to risk not only my ass but yours, just to come back up here and ask for your name.”

You covered your mouth to stifle that bubbled in your throat. “Truly? That’s why?”

Arthur laughed softly, shaking his head when he realized how ridiculous it was. “I suppose so. And I wanted to ask for another one of those hundred-dollar drawings you make.” 

You laughed again and put your fingers on the bottom lip you held between your teeth. “Oh yeah? Was my map that good?”

He grinned and looked down at his boots, kicking them against the floor to kick some pebbles loose from the bottoms. He couldn’t believe how young he felt then, like he was only sixteen again flirting around with the farmer's daughter. The only thing different from that was he was much, much, much older. If the other men in the gang saw him they’d make fun of him till the day he died for sneaking around for a girl. 

“Well, okay, I guess I can make you something.” You smiled while biting your lip. He put on a show of acting grateful, clasping his hands together and placing them in front of his forehead. When you recovered from quiet laughter you went into your room to get some paper and a pencil. You made sure both your doors were locked before you went back onto your dark balcony. You stopped in the open doorway, noticing how little you could see. There was no way you could draw anything out there unless a lantern was lit, but that would be too bright and anyone nearby would be able to see the two of you. “I can’t see out here, maybe we should go in my room.” 

He was reluctant for a minute, considering how fast he’d be able to run and jump out the balcony if need be. “Yeah, sure.” He sighed and walked towards the doors. The spurs on his boots lightly jingled and you could hear fabric moving against fabric as he moved past you into your dimly lit room. “Been a while since I’ve been in a room this nice.” He admitted as he looked around your room. 

“You live in a barn then?” You teased and sat down at the table near the windows. “Oh, I never told you my name. It’s (Y/N).” 

Arthur leaned against the wall near you and crossed his ankles, nodding as he thought over your name. “(Y/N). Never met anyone with that name before.”

You smiled proudly, twirling the pencil in your fingers. “And yours?”

He paused, considering while he looked out the window. “Arthur.” He said finally and looked back to you. 

“Arthur.” You mused before remembering what you were supposed to be doing. “Ah, sorry, what did you say you want me to draw you?”

He snorted and crossed his arms. “I didn’t give that any thought, do anything you’d like.” 

You bit your lip and looked him up and down. “Okay. It might take me a little while though.” He wanted to say ‘good’, but held his tongue and settled for a ‘That’s okay’.

After about an hour of talking, constant talking, you were finally finished. “If I had longer I could have done better, but, here.” You slid the paper across the table to him. After a while, he got tired and had sat down across from you.

He took the paper in his hands and squinted before his eyes widened. “Christ, girl.” He breathed and looked over the lines and shading. “You’re better than me.”

“You draw too?” You asked with sudden interest but he didn’t respond, he was too caught up in the paper in front of him. 

“I can’t believe this. Did you take a picture of me when I wasn’t looking?” He shook his head and scratched his chin as he continued admiring it. 

You blushed and ran a hand through your hair, he made you into a flustered mess with those praises. They were different when they were coming from someone who wasn’t kin. “Thank you.” It was all you could say. You didn’t expect him to like it that much, it was a hurried sketch of him leaning against your wall, but as much as you liked to pretend your art wasn’t that good there was no denying that this was an exceptionally realistic drawing. You were almost sad to see it go.

Arthur shook his head and looked up from the paper, looking at you completely different. Like how your father looked at your mother the first time he saw her shoot a gun. Newfound respect and admiration glinted in those pretty blue eyes of his, all directed to you. He was going to say something else but the sounds of heels coming up the stairway stopped him. 

“(Y/N)! I just found a letter from June, it came yesterday but-” She grabbed your doorknob and tried to open it, only succeeding in causing the door to shake slightly. Arthur looked at you with wide eyes as she called out your name a second time. 

“Go, hurry!” You whispered and he sat up as quickly and quietly as he could, tiptoeing to the open doors. “One second, I’m changing into my nightdress!” You called back to her as you rushed the grown man out of your room.

He paused in the same spot he had climbed up, one hand on the jasmine covered lattice he had used as a ladder. “Could I come see you again?” He asked boldly, the paper in his hand slightly moving from the breeze. 

You laughed in disbelief. “There’s no way I could say no to that. You better.”

Arthur smiled then, the widest and cheesiest smile he had worn in a while. If it wasn’t for the lantern sitting inside your room next to the window he stood near, you wouldn’t have seen it. You wanted to say more, but he swung his legs over the edge and left you to explain to your mother why you spent so long doing something so simple.

[sadb0ysims]

THE SIMSELF TAG featuring yours truly and her wonderful assistant, antoinette

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? mia and thats all ur getting out of me

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? oh god we have some embarrassing ones but jordan and jords are nicknames of mine and u might be able to guess the other obvious ones dgjhfdj

3. BIRTHDAY? february 25th babey

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? OH uhh princess diaries by meg cabot probably

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? not to sure about those funky alien dudes but ehh yeah i believe in ghosts

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i’d say michael morpurgo but that’s probably because his books were shoved down my throat at an early age DKJDFGJ if you can have a favourite poet i can answer this: atticus and lang leav

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? radio one probably!!

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? the purple one. like, starburst? purple. wine gum? purple

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? being the millenial i am probably Uh...li...litty

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? OH Hm i’d say ocean eyes by billie eilish

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Hm!

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  copycat by billie eilish!!

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? LIE TO ME IS THE UNDER APPRECIATED SERIES OF THE CENTURY

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? oh uhh i don’t watch films a lot and especially not if i’m feeling?? sad

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? never heard of them

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? OH jesus lets say. being forgotten or making no difference in the world

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? oh Jesus not a lot of these GJFDH over the past mm month or so i’d say i’ve grown a lot as a person in the fact that i have more respect for myself than i used to, and if i have an opinion on something i evaluate it and decide Do People Really Need To Know? (DPRNTK)

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? EASY my weird. defense mechanism thing. i’ve gotten a bit better in my opinion but the reason i’m usually in so much trouble is because as soon as i’m attacked, i act with anger? its some weird defensive wall that i put up and regret later because i’m not really thinking like a rational person. i just see that i’m being attacked and my first thought is to fight back

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? OH cats because i haven’t had one in ages. one of our cats was run over and the other was taken by our neighbours and now he doesn’t even remember us or respond to his name so thats really fun

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? SUMMER because my skin turns olive in the summer and right now. a bitch is pale! also school is so much nicer in the summer... the whole yeargroup feels like much more of a community because we all sit together outside n it’s just overall very fun and makes me nostalgic of year 7

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? bitch u really thought-

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? still in it but. because of a lot of things i was forced to grow up very fast. something i miss is having everyone in the house (my siblings are both a lot older than me so they’re never around) and not having to worry about fitting into certain stereotypes or WASHING MY HAIR!!!!!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? oh god ok so i have a “best friend” but we don’t. agree on a lot of things and she takes everything i say 100% seriously so even though we’re not close i’d consider this group of boys from my school my best friends. and online ofc i have Many Many good friends which i would name but i dont wanna leave anyone out bc i talk to A Lot of people DGHDFJ

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue blue blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? blonde babey

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my brother

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? would say myself but sometimes i’m not even sure i can trust HER

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? i think about people loads because im a lonely romantic so. i’d say Love Interest and i think about myself a whole lot too like who does this bitch think she is

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? all the time i’m looking forward to things bc. not a whole lot happens in my life so if Love Interest looks at me a certain way i’ll look forward to going to school for the next couple weeks FDJGHFDJ

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? i think of the future way too much. she’s a dreamer

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? oh god uhhh i used to cry at in the night garden all the time when it ended bc i hated that iggle piggle sailed away on his boat DJHFD it was probably still my favourite though

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i had a best friend who moved away after year seven and i feel like i could but. who knows we haven’t seen each other for years

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? sigh i think so like does it count if my tarot deck says not to do something because. i trust those tarot bitches with all my soul if i have one

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? don’t like the dark, i have a fear of holes, can’t sleep without the door open, can’t sleep when i can see in a mirror (fun fact theres a mirror in my room but it’s on a shelf which i can barely see at night like. i can see a glimpse. but knowing it’s there freaks me out so its flipped and has something covering it)

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? oh ummmm in front i guess because 1. i look horrible in photos other people have taken of me 2. technically being in front of it. you can still take selfies and 3. the people i know take pictures from really weird angles

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? we love a bit of vidya games but i love reading poetry because i’m a whore and also i like singing but that doesn’t mean im good at it!

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? UHHH god i really dont read uhh probably lullabies by lang leav

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? romeo and juliet (the blessed one featuring young leo dicaprio)

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can play the guitar, the recorder, a bit of the piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? GIRAFFES it’s really sad that they’re now endangered. if ur talkin domestic pets i love guinea pigs, cats and (i’ve never had them but rats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? don’t. this’ll turn into a follow forever and i won’t get any clout bc it’s in such a long post !

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? OH hm. i thought as hard as my tiny brain could about this and i think teleportation would be interesting but if we can choose ANY superpower. is magic one? that’d b pretty wack

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? when i’m walking to school at half 7 in the morning and no one’s there and i can hear the trees lining the field rustling in the wind in the distance. it was rainng this morning and even though my whole ass was exposed from the wind and i was soaking it was really peaceful. also there’s a red kite that’s resident to our school field and i love to stand there in the morning and watch it sometimes

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? feeling included DGJHDJ doesn’t happen a whole lot

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i play a lot of sports because i’m in school obviously but i’m really good at rugby bc a bitch is Tactical and Nimble. i love hockey and badminton and stuff though

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? i LOVE smoothies and milkshakes and everything ugh. i’d be bold enough to say i love drinks more than i love food. like apple juice orange juice MIXED juice smoothies BROWN BAG MILKSHAKES! BITCH! THE STRAWBERRY ONE IS SO GOOD UGH

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? oh jesus um. 4 years ago

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? fuck yeah brother

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? UGH A LOT OF THINGS like. people biting their nails. people tapping their foot on my chair. people not listening when you’re explaining something THEY needed help with. tapping a pen on a desk or clicking it on and off

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nop

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? my mother is a vegetarian so i eat a lot of vegetarian meals. sometimes i get really put off meat but like. a bitch is 13 and doesn’t pay for her own meals so she doesn’t really get a say in what she eats

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? always wanted to entertain people and be nationally recognised. take that as u will

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? TOO MANY let’s go... the arcana so i can marry the 1 (one) love of my life dr julian ilyushka devorak... chill in the hanged man’s realm...

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? i don’t worry about a lot not gonna lie to u

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? cheers i’ll drink to that broe

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? if the screeching sound i make to a slight tune counts as singing then. yes

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not illegally but i’ve had days off sick where i wasn’t sick bc i couldn’t be asked

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? alone

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? somewhere safe

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yeah i have a dog and a cat but as i said m cat got taken by my neighbours and doesn’t even remember us so sjfhdjg

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but if i’m rested well enough i love being up early

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no a bitch is 13

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? probably headphones bc i can’t lose them and the sound quality is better but i’m not a MONSTER so earphones. also headphones automatically make old people scoff at u and hate u more

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? whatever’s poetic enough to be On Brand

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? don’t really have one

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? no

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? the holier than thou attitude Often showcased on simblr by some. familiar faces

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? it doesn’t really make a difference

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? computer science (mainly for the people because right now we’re just making fucking. powerpoints) or english bc of the people again

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? yee a brother and a sister

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? christmas presents and some perfume & a purse for me

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′4

75. CAN YOU COOK? not well

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? attention DFJHGSDJ uhh being kind to people who deserve it and hard work paying off

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? patronization, people who believe their opinion is the only opinion and people who cause minor inconveniences for you for no reason

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? more female probably but i prefer guys

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? i say bisexual but no one’s ever been close enough to let me find out

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? party in the UK

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? kyla rosymiel

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? UHHH i really can’t remember i know me and kyla were talking about something and i started crying JGFHDGJ

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? oh god umm probably smii7y but i also really like all his friends like. kryoz etc

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? when i look good FJDHSJD

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? would say tumblr but she’s gone ! right now i’m really feeling zepeto bc It May Be Tracking Me but it lets me take pics with all my online friends and i have some sort of weird following on there SDFHSDJ

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully confide in them, i really like my dad but there’s elements of him that don’t really float my boat. same with my mum but i’m less close with her

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? probably australian or. is it swiss? might be swiss.

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? france and ofc america

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 4

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? with like 2 things skdghsd

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really but i believe in a higher power of some sort and a life after death. i believe there’s something out there that is listening but i prefer to think it’s the stars

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? i find the ocean really ineresting but man will always romanticise space

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im a 13 year old white girl how ruthless can i be

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? sesame seeds

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nop but everyone else in my family can

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? whenever i realise

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? i lie all the time but i am. SO terrible ASJDFHJ i would love to lie less but it’s so easy to slip into one

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? gryffindor

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? hell yea brother

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? kyla put ambivert so i looked that up and. yeah

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? did when i was younger but i guess tumblr is somewhat of a personal diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? turn it in most likely

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? “yes, but you should never forget about their past” thanks kyla

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? only monsters aren’t

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have my ears pierced. WILD i know

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? UGH FUCK DR JULIAN ILYUSHKA DEVORAK!! it’d be illegal for him to marry anyone but me though

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yep! i have a tattoo on my back. i plan on getting a lot more tattoos in the future, but i don’t want anymore in the near future

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? being outspoken and not. watching things pass by

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? of course

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nopee

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? oof i really don’t know because of what’s happened to me i don’t know if i could knowing i could never protect them from everything. idk pregnancy seems very nice but once the kid gets annoying thats It for me

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? “i think everyone is smart in their own way” thanks kyla

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i started laughing once in drama and i pissed myself a lil and i was like ehh thats fine i do that all the time and then i didnt stop pissing and someone was like ‘whats that wet on the floor? they were like mia have u pissed urslef i was like nOSDJF so i had to ask the teacher to leave. u coiuld see the piss down my leg

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? have u SEEN these bags. she’s seen hell 

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? like varying tones of beige and then grey/black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? of course

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? oh uhhh i feel like maybe when i was younger but i’ve. repressed that memory if i have it

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 13 years young

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? oh jesus something poetic and by atticus probably let’s see

after spending more time searching for a quote than i did on literally this whole tag, i decided on this. and then i realised. it will always be ‘YOU ARE A SAD BOY’

[tragictm]

The Future of This Blog

I've been rping on tumblr since around 2012, diving into the indie world in 2014 with my beth blog. It was a fun hobby for a long time, but by 2015 it had become more like a chore. Soon enough I made new blogs, moved every month or two and hoped like hell itd have that spark back. There were moments, people, that made my time here truly amazing. I'll talk about them later. For now, I have to look to myself and to the future.

Which brings me here. While I love my muses and I genuinely adore writing them, something on this blog isnt right. Not just this blog, but all of them. I'm burnt out on this site, its multiple issues not helping, and my constant need for external validation is only making this worse. You've all noticed it, begging for poll responses, asking if a character should be added and making the choice based only in how many votes each option gets. Everything on this site is governed by notes, by reactions, by the thought that what I post here is important or interesting to people. That's not why I was here, it's not why I wanted to write, and as long as it's there i dont know that i can continue to be here.

As 2019 draws near I have to make choices to better my life. In 2019 I'm giving up work to study and follow my dream, I'm giving up my home that I've lived in for my whole life to have a shot in a completely different city, a completely different world. And with that, I'm giving up this.

Writing is so important to me, I've grown as a person so much from doing this, I've made friends who mean the world to me, but this has also been so toxic. My deep and constant fear of duplicates - and yes that includes the ones I follow. My desire to be the best version of my muse, preferably the only version of my muse. I crave attention, crave the glory that I've somehow managed to believe comes from the number of people who follow me. It's stupid. Its toxic. It's made me act like a person I dont want to be.

I dont know when I'll come back. Ideally, I want to be more emotionally and mentally sound before coming here. I want to be less busy. I want to be able to have fun rather than cry because I cant decide what to do with a fucking tumblr blog.

I want to mention some people, talk about what they mean to me and how theyve shaped my experience. That's below the cut. But first: means of contact. I dont want to lose friends, but I cant promise tumblr will be a place I go ever again. For now I'll be on my personal @distortedrebel and probably on @greene-rph but come 2019 theres a chance I wont even be on those blogs. So, heres where to find me:

Facebook, snapchat, etc. are available if you message me, I'd message my personal or one of those accounts though because I wont be logged on to here.

@selfsaving - izzy, you alone have given me so much muse and such a strong feeling of being somewhere I belong. You've been amazing to me, from liking starter calls and interacting with a muse no one interacted with to inviting me to discord servers and being excited to write with me. I genuinely can't describe how great you've been to me.

@mrbisected - kate you've been amazing. You've followed me through so many blogs, even when I never knew who Kenny was. Honestly, I kind of dreaded watching Texas chainsaw at first. I really thought I'd hate it, especially for the first half hour or so. After watching I didnt care that much for Kenny, but the way you cared for him and the way you crafted him into a real person really inspired me and made me fall in love. I fell for nikki because she was hot, but with your help she became someone real and I never imagined giving up on her because of how it had felt having a muse I cared about so much.

@withumans - kacie idk if ur on this blog or using this alias but hey, you're amazing. I know we haven't necessarily been the closest, but you've been a really good friend. You've been through a lot and I know you relate to the need for validation here. You're still young, you're going to grow and change over the next few years more than you could ever believe. I love you, I believe in you, I know you'll get through this. I'm sorry I wasnt super invested in some of your muses, you very clearly love rain more than anything and I really struggled to interact with her, not because of who she is but because of how emily kinney was her fc originally. I know its dumb and petty and I hate that it continued into when shed stopped being the main fc. Rain is a brilliant oc, I genuinely love her and her story. Shes developed, she clearly means the world to you. Tumblr, and quite frankly everywhere else, doesnt care about ocs. They dont care about multis. That puts the two of us in a tricky position. Dont give up on rain, dont give up on ocs. Dont give up on things you're passionate about. You have it in you to do incredible things.

@valorfated - ellie weve talked less lately and I want to apologize for that. Weve had issues in the past, the most obvious being the way I acted with the rph in 2017(?). Theres an age gap between us and clearly a maturity gap there too. Looking back on the way I acted and responded and avoided responsibility is clear. I am sorry for that, I know you were going through rough times and it was rude of me to try to make things go my way simply because you werent there to stop me. Its something I've been working on and I'd like to think I've grown as a person since then. I do want to tell you that you're an amazing writer, and I really hope things are going better for you. Writing beth and Maggie was a really great experience, I loved the dynamic because I've never had much of a bond with my own sister. You helped me realize how sisterly bonds should be and because of that I've started to work towards mending my relationship with my sister and its changing my life. Thank you, good luck with everything..

@gavinsaleks - I saved you for last because this might get long. I'm gonna avoid the literal thousand word letter I usually give you on your birthdays because wow I write a lot, but you already know by now that you've changed my life. The ocs we made meant the world to me and really taught me about relationships and perspectives and what's right and wrong in relationships. You, though, you taught me more. You gave me the courage to come out, you gave me the strength to stay alive in times where I felt like that was impossible, you gave me happiness that i never thought possible. I watched you grow up and you watched me mature and everything changed after meeting you. I never wouldve lasted on this site without you, or in real life really. You're an incredible girl and I really hope that I gave you the same happiness you gave me because you deserve it all and so much more.

[helihi]

The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty: RWBY Vol 6 E 12

I wish I could’ve enjoyed this, but the fact that this episode could’ve been perfectly merged with last weeks episode for a rightful 23-25 minute episodes makes me angry.

Overall rating: 3/10

A.N.: First we got all buildup, now we got all pay off. Why do they keep doing this?

The Good:

Quick spoilers for the review ahead: most of the contents of this section are about the Bee vs. Adam fight. In fact, the 3/10 rating is earned because of this since I was just bored during the fist half and during the cliffhanger.

A quick shoutout to Ruby for figuring out an alternative way to neutralize Cordovin without yelling it or making it as obvious as Oscar’s plan was. TBH the writers did a poor job trying to execute the first plan by being just as obvious to make it not work.

This week the fight between Blake, Yang and Adam continues, but unlike last week, both girls get to fight by each others side. What’s really interesting about the scenes showcased on this episode is the way both adapt to their current circumstances and still manage to get that sweet Bumbleby combo we’ve experienced in previous volumes.

They are both quick on their feet, always in sync. Blake’s evasive technique and light hits help to destabilize Adam while Yang carries the punch (literally). She distracts him and positions him right where Yang needs him to be. Not only that, but she makes sure Adam cannot absorb any of Yang’s heavy hits, completely conscious of how that can backfire.

Of course, the ribbon combo attack the pair is known for makes a comeback. This time, Yang grabs what’s left of Gambol Shroud to protect Blake and is the one throwing her partner around.

The flying cat Faunus is not strong enough to break Adam’s stance and she’s thrown away, and her aura breaks. Like everyone guessed, Blake’s aura is purple, the same shade Yang’s bandana is ;)

Now is Yang’s turn to hold her ground against Adam while she keeps an eye on Blake, who could easily fall to there death. hOW THE FUCK CAN SHE CLIMB WITH HEELS.

“The moment of truth, Yang. Do you think you’re faster than you were at Beacon?”

Yang trembles.

“Me neither.”

Here’s the second thing I wanted to point out about this fight: Adam still tries to use manipulation to get the upper hand. He knows a part of Blake still fears him, and he knows Yang’s trauma is associated with him.

Again and again he has tried to exploit this, but once more: he fails.

Yang goes for an evasive tactic rather than an offensive one, more proof of her character development.

Adam continues taunting, because he has no other tools or tactics he can use. He desperately tries to clutch to power, even though last episode showed him that Yang and Blake are at their strongest when together.

This is why he wanted to sever that link in volume 3. Even if he didn’t know how good of a team they were, he knew the best way to break Blake was through Yang.

“What does she even see in you!” remarks how out of his element Adam is. He lost the fight before he actually lost it.

Yang’s Semblance makes a return, but TBH the animation was pretty underwhelming considering we’ve waited for its comeback for about 3 years. I think Adam’s Moonslice animation has been maintained. Everything from the color palette shift, to the way the red on his outfit lights up. His presence is there.

Yang’s Semblance doesn’t bust in victorious and glorious. It’s more like a tame flame. I appreciate the fire effects, and the way Yang’s moments are highlighted with 2D yellow effects, but where’e the frame distortion? The glowing red eyes? The final punch was nice, but overall, I’m disappointed.

Finally, the moment we all have been waiting for comes: Adam Taurus’s death. Have some popcorn peeps. There was no other way to end the whole arc, Adam was irredeemable.

If you wanted me to be honest, I thought Adam was going to fall to his death in some fight scenario where he was so consumed by anger and his obsession that he looses it; or Yang was going to be the one ending it.

Having them both kill him, with both halves of Gambol Shroud no less, is so fucking powerful and fitting. Of course, quite traumatic for Blake, who would be the one most affected by it.

I think they nailed the reaction. Aside from the obvs Bumbleby excitement, Blake breaking down, the remainder of the promise and Yang comforting her so delicately is the perfect way to end this arc.

Unfortunately, it isn’t quite as cathartic and beautiful since we’re cut short by the need to establish another cliff hanger.

The Bad:

I see people left and right on RT’s forms, Tumblr and YouTube praising the CRWBY for getting better at pacing or even “nailing” it.

Boi, oh boi, could you not be more wrong.

This episode could and should’ve been part of last episode. There’s no reason why any writer would cut the momentum episode 11 carried for a cheap cliff hanger and have the resolution to the fights be concluded 7 days later.

Do you know what real shows do? They make a two parter. A half an hour special.

I could bring up AtlA, but I’m going to bring up SU.

Do you know what’s going to happen next Monday on CN?

A 45 minute special Steven Universe season finale.

You know why?

Because the best way to finalize the diamond arc is by paying off all the buildup with a huge chunk of content! The decision to have the final 4 episodes group together to deliver some satisfactory pay off will be a blast.

Yes, we don’t know how season is going to end, but I can fucking tell you this special is the best way to end this arc.

SU’s atrocious schedule has made a lot of people drop the show, and I don;’t blame them. CN doesn’t know what its doing, and it’s purposefully killing shows with this (Se also: Adventure Time).

However, if there’s something the Crewniverse know how to do is delivering a story that can fit an episode.

A beginning/set up, a middle and a resolution/ending.

RWBY doesn’t do that. Episodes are: all build up, all buildup + some middle, some middle+tiny resolution.

The only way one can truly enjoy RWBY is by binge watching it, but unfortunately, RT doesn’t release the episodes Netflix style.

Do they change and adapt their writing because of this?

No, they don’t.

The problem wasn’t that the RWBY girls were separated, it’s that the writing team doesn’t know how to properly pace a story for an audience.

Also, is anyone bothered by the fact that no matter how many times Cordovin hit the Atlesian ship, that thing could still work?

Way to kill the momentum.

The Dirty:

I see a lot of people reflagging GIFs of Ruby and Qrow showing how much the girl has grown and how conflicted he might be, and TBH I see what you do.

I know Qrow looks at Ruby and probably thinks of Summer.

Summer is dead; Ruby is not, and Qrow wants to keep it that way. But Ruby is on her way to becoming an adult, she’s the leader on her team, a figure to her friends and the protagonist of the show. She has to show she’s prepared to take a stance.

Awesome scenes guys! You forgot something tho:

Rubys conflict.

Just like the glazed over Oscars big “this is what I stand for” moment of his arc, we never see Ruby at her weakest.

People complained of this during volume 4, but have you not notice she has not broken down or showed a real crisis? This 5 minutes with the apathy is not enough, and though I love her questioning Ozpin, I feel this needed more fuel.

Sometimes it feels like the writers know what a protagonist is supposed to sound like and act like, but don’t quite get how they got there.

Oh yeah, Grimm show up btw. We all knew this so meh.

Overall rating: 3/10

A.N.: Someone should really teach Miles and Kerry the ways episodes are structured. It’s season 6 and still haven’t grasped how to write an episodic series.

[missjackil]

A Dose of SPN Positivity!

For those who know me, they know I love this show.... flaws and all! im critical sometimes, but not overly. Bottom line, I am addicted to the story and Im in love with Sam and Dean.  With Season 14 about to start, and we’re all getting antsy, too much negativity has been flying around, so I want to share some things i love most about the show, and maybe make some of you reflect for a moment and think “Yeah, that is pretty great” and smile.  Supernatural has been referred to as “The Little Show That Could” and to me, its such a fitting description. Logically, on the surface, it looks like it just can’t. I mean, how can a fantasy/horror show, survive with such a low budget, light special effects, and not very scary most of the time. I mean hell, they dont even have that many monsters that look like monsters, so why has it lasted longer than a season or 2? Let alone, 14 seasons with no signs of stopping yet. First and foremost is obvious. Sam and Dean and the actors who play them.  This essay will be full of gushing about these boys, so if you dont feel like enduring such a hardship, scroll on past. if that interests you.....

Yes these 2 fabulous men are the life blood of this show. Without them, we’d have nothing. THEY are the reason, this little show can, and does. Even those who like one and not the other, even if they dont realize it, the one they prefer is who they are because of the other. Both of their qualities and flaws can be directly linked to their influence on each other. If for some reason the other was gone for good, the one left will change drastically. As we see when one is dead or in grave danger, albeit temporarily, the other changes. Sam is no longer sweet, laid back and practical, and Dean is no longer funny, charming, and nurturing.  In fact, they both seem to become an amplified version of their brother. When Sam dies, Dean gets quiet, sometimes too quiet. He also gets methodical and focused. You may get lucky and just get shot in the back, but if he chooses to speak, he chooses his words to let you know shits gonna hit the fan. “You have my brother, and you have one chance, just one, to hand him over, and if he isnt in one peice, when I find you, and I WILL find you, I will take you apart” Sam on the other hand is boiling over with emotion. My boy becomes savage. He doesnt always choose a lot of words to say, he gets his whole point across most of the time with “WHERES MY BROTHER???!!!!” This... my friends, is good stuff! These things couldnt be done with such beauty without Jared and Jensen. Their offscreen relationship, whatever it may be, is wonderful. Theres no denying the love and respect they have for each other. They are very supportive of each other, and help make the other better at their job. They’re not typical actors who have a work relationship but otherwise spend time with each other. They genuinely enjoy being together, and this shows on screen. When two people are this good at their jobs, and with each other, you just have to keep watching. Other things I love about the show, are kinda small. Some maybe youve never noticed, but maybe now you will and enjoy them too, like... Brains vs Brawn: At first glance, we all go Sam=brains, Dean=brawn right? But thats not actually the case. Dean is far from stupid, and Sam is nowheres near a wimp. Dean teases Sam about being a nerd, and Sam doesnt mind, he kinda wears his nerdiness like a badge of honor. Dean will never admit to being a nerd, but he is. He’s read Vonnegut, knows every old west cowboy statistic, and likes LARPing. Sam, though a bookworm, is one tough mofo. hes tall and muscular and has shown to be a little freakishly strong. He can also take a great deal of pain. And though Dean is known more to be the fighter, he can be very warm and nurturing. And nerdy Sam can make you shit your pants with just a look if you piss him off just right. I absolutely LOVE this balance!! Its one of my favorite things! Old school vs New; A lot has changed in 14 seasons. The brothers have grown, as well as the story, but their roots are never forgotten. They’re still driving around in the same car. Hell. Baby has become the 3rd lead! Even though they have mom back, they never forgot her, or dad, and both were spoken of often throughout the series. They refer back to old days often, so we can all get a feel of nostalgia when we remember too. Most episodes bring the deep past up in one way or another, I love this! Loss and Death: I know so many of us complain that they die and come back too much, but I have a real appreciation for it, The circumstances are always different, and so are the methonds of coming back. Sometimes the death isnt serious, or they dont “seem” dead, like in First Blood or Dark Side of the Moon, when there may have been an initial “wtf?” we got to see them in heaven, and in first blood, they came right back. However there was deep seriousness in All Hell Breaks Loose, No Rest for the Wicked,  Do You Believe in Miracles, Swan Song, Red Meat and Beat The Devil that you felt the dying brother’s physical pain, and then the emotional pain of the surviving brother.  No matter how many times they die, they still hit these types of episodes out of the park. WE may know theyre coming back, but they dont. it still crushes them and I love this! Sam and Dean’s Sexuality: I love that their sexual natures are different, but theyre both okay. Dean is sexually active, enjoys porn and vocalizes some fantasies, Though Sam can tease him a little, its just brotherly ribbing, its not judgemental or trying to make Dean feel bad. Sam isnt overly sexual, he’s gone many seasons without sex at all. He doesnt appear to enjoy porn, we know he doesnt like strip clubs, and its NOT because he’s unattractive!! Dean teases him but he doesnt try to make him feel bad. When he has heavily suggested that Sam get laid, its just because he wants him to have fun. Dean even said he appreciated that Sam wanted to stay pure and waited. Otherwise, its okay that Sam is (at least kinda) asexual. Neither are shunned or judged because of their sexuality. Winsync: This is one of the greatest things. if they didnt do this, we wouldnt care, we would never say “It would be a much better show if the brothers mirrored each other, or did the same thing at the same time” but for whatever reason, TPTB wanted this, and it works so well! Its an intimacy we can see without the show going OTT bromantic. Its the connection, the closeness, and being soulmates. I LOVE this! Soulmates and Brothers: Normally a show will make soulmates out of lovers. It’s not often they do it with siblings. It helps justify their deep love and devotion. It adds an additional layer to their relationship. It makes them so tied together that they will share eternity in heaven together, and not just in their memories. This was a very good decision made by Kripke and crew, so we will all know they cant live without each other, even if they just lived in different homes. I love this! Meta Madness: Though I dont like all the meta episodes, I do love the fact they can do them, and DO do them. Because the whole premise is the supernatural, nothing is impossible, even AUs and cartoon worlds. Sometimes I might roll my eyes, but its awesome to me that they can experiment this way and see how it goes. I Love this!! The Bros are Oblivious: Sam and Dean have been through basically everything, and have seen and done everything, yet they seem shocked when people say theyre famous, or when they heard people tell stories about them. Occasionally they grasp their importance, like when they tell people they save the world, but they were impressed that Asa fixed killed 5 Wendigo, and had an Angel Blade, and Father Luca met the Pope. I mean God hung out at the bunker and made them pancakes! Their Heads Dont Get Too Big: Every once in a while, TPTB make sure we, and the boys, remember that they are only human. Even if they lock away Satan, kill Death, save God’s life, they’re just men. Remember when Bobby died and Dean was sure he wouldnt because “its just one bullet!” ? I can see how it would seem so silly to Dean, and even to us, that someone who has lived through so much, could die from a stupid little bullet. I think that one of the smartest things the show has done in ages, was to have Sam tortured by Toni and friend. Sam was so bold and cocky (and need I say sexy?) telling Toni he’d been tortured by the devil himself, and what could she do to him... He soon learned Hell torture or not,  cold showers still suck, blow torches to the feet still hurt like hell, and a mortal human can still fuck with his head. And Dean, well he can still be put on the injured reserve list from a jacked up leg. IMO S12 was great for re-humanizing the Winchesters. I love this! Comedy to Tragedy: Some of the best episodes, started out funny and ended in a tear jerker. Mystery Spot, Just My Imagination, and Beat The Devil top my list. I love the emotional rollar coaster, Coming away exhausted from an episode is the bestthing I can ask for! They havent tried it the other way around, tragedy to comedy, and thats good. If you are crying at the beginning and laughing later, it doesnt justify the grief and you may feel let down and hollow after. SPN is great with having some humor in even the most depressing episodes, but they know when using it and leaving it out is best. I love this! Brohugs: My #1 favorite thing, aside from the hug in 6.1, they have all been beautiful. Not once, have the boys lost the love, or even repeated the same hug. Each one conveys a different message, a different emotion, but all say “I love you more than everything” and I wont ever get tired of them! I would do anything for a single hug in my whole life that had such love in it, as any Winchester bro hug! I.LOVE.THIS!! Now I hope if you read this far, you got to smile a few times, and a spark was added to the fire that you fell in love with 14 seasons ago. Here’s to S14, i hope its filled with all of these wonderful things!

[nu-blessed]

OK LOVES AND CARATS IM GETTING SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS COLLAB NEWS!

THIS NEWS OF A SEVENTEEN AND NU’EST COLLAB IS MAKING ME DAMN EMOTIONAL.

I stanned Seventeen even before debut, I watched 17tv, when we saw how nuest and 17 members played together. The first time I ever heard Seventeen be introduced at a public space as “Seventeen” was at the nuest sleeptalking press concert when they sat in audience in 2013.

For sure theres many idols who are close with their company mates, but no mater what haters say, the relationship between 17 and nuest is so fucking strong and PURE. Even when prob most their fans didnt know who nuest is in 2016, they still promoted them. It’s so friggin obvious how much the members look up to, respect and simply ADORE the members of Nuest.

After all, they were the only boygroup in Pledis at the time, and only active group at Pledis in general 2 whole years before Seventeens debut- Im emo because I have memories of fetus 17 dancing to Action and Hello. Memories of Aron always promoting them on his radio show before their debut, and how even though nuest were sent to japan 2 years, nuest never blamed anyone they just worked harder. They had not won in like 4 years on a music show, but when 17 got their first win it must have reminded nuest of their own failure, but they were SO genuinely proud of all of 17′s accomplishments.

You see endlessly loving and supporting a group who your group is on par with/after you’ve already reached your peak is one thing. But doing so while your failures are increasing day by day, and your groups situation becoming more desperate, in an entirely different thing. 

Despite all the hate thrown at nuest from some fake “carats” and constant old fake rumours being spread, as someone who has seen these boys group from little kids, this brotherly love is indeed so caring and genuine- I GUARANTEE the 17 members have always wanted to collab with nuest, and waited til the day nuest got famous so they could do so. 

After 8 years, WE WILL SEE THE ORIGINAL PLEDIS BOYS (minus Minhyun rip) OF JR, REN, BAEKHO, ARON, S.COUPS AND WOOZI!!

The group that was meant to be “Tempest” separated into NU’EST and Seventeen. Even though it took 6 years, the day has come where nuest can no longer be looked down upon, and can stand on stage with their family, their junior brother group, as an artist who is also loved and respected. FINALLY they can stand on stage TOGETHER. 

tl;dr MY 18 BOYS HAVE GROWN UP AND IM AN EMOTIONAL MOTHER!!