#theres people out there who will love every aspect of you and never get enough of you or your time

[simplydnp]

Sometimes I think Dan and Phil are totally platonic besties and then other times I’m convinced they fuck on the daily. I think they do it on purpose and it’s honestly iconic.

kind of the best thing is that they are that and everything in between. you can tell they just like being around each other. they've made content together for 15 years and the large majority of it was done in the strictly platonic sense for their audience. and they were still having so much fun with it. we're in the 'we know you know' era now so we get to see flashes of different dynamics they have, but they absolutely have more we Don't get to see bc they're not for us.

they like each other. stupidly fond of each other. spending time together doesn't feel exhausting. they're best friends and each others' harshest critics while being the biggest hypeman and also safe space.

dnp's relationship with us, their audience, always has been and always will be different than any other content creators. part of it is how they accumulated it, but another part is just the massive history we have with them. they Get us. they Know us. they're silly goofy sarcastic guys who love us and hate us sometimes. theyre grateful but careful too. they like to rile us up, just like they do each other. it's a love language, teasing, and we've shown positive responses to it over the years. i like to say that my relationship with dnp is antagonistic sometimes--cause i know they're pushing my buttons on purpose. and ykw? it's fun! it's fun for us and it's fun for them because they have the control. i know anything they let out is cause they chose to let it out because they Know how we are. so yes they absolutely adore messing with us. we're a funny bunch.

[astrowrld300]

Astro Observations

Part 1

If you want a provider do not go for an Aries sun man. Aries in other placements will have enough passion to want to provide for you, but when its in the sun, the planet of ego, these natives will want to be babied

Good luck if your partners Mars or Lilith are in the 12 house, you’ll never truly know all their secret kinks and turn ons.

Lilith in cancer is giving major mommy issues. I feel like the men don’t understand their mom and girlfriend are two different roles

Virgo rising is one of the most underrated placements when it comes to beauty

Having 0 degress within your chart can make you give off a lot of pure energy

Aries moons have such tight looking faces on the bottom, especially the lip area

Mars in Aquarius are so corny when it comes to sex but they’re still very attractive in bed. They really do like making corny sex jokes though

Venus Pluto aspects give a very transformative love life. Anytime you fall in love it will be transforming you in some way or change you/your life significantly. It also creates an intense theme of obsession in your love life.

Having a water Sun at 8 degrees can make you really secretive or just come off as a straight up liar. People may think your someone who never shares anything or has something to hide.

Leo placements and heavily influenced Venus placements need to realize it’s a privilege for people to know them. People thrive off your energy and attention, it benefits them a lot

Please stop being delusional, if that Gemini placement isn’t clinging to you for mental stimulation, they do not like you I’m sorry.

Mercury at the second degree makes very attractive/good talkers. They naturally have this charm to their speech. Either in their voice, the way they articulate their words or what they say. I find people also love talking to natives with Mercury at the second degree

Virgo and Pieces placements watch a lot of anime because they like the aesthetic

Similar to Leo placements, 5th house moons/placements can make people feel really good about themselves. I’ve noticed an increase of confidence in people when around 5th house moons. People just generally feel great about themselves around these natives, and both parties feel it. Especially if theres a stellium and the planets include Mars

Aries men lie a lot but you honestly have to be pretty dumb to fall for it

People think Gemini venues are cold and distant, but when they like someone, they actually can’t leave them alone on an intellectual level. They become very clingy for that mental stimulation. They can become cheaters when they’re not getting that mental stimulation anymore because they’ll naturally go for it from someone else. It is very rare for a Gemini Venus to cheat for physical reasons, its usually always mental

Aries Suns watch a lot of anime or action shows. I know a lot of Aries suns and every single one watches anime

Having your Venus at the 7th degree creates a really soft beauty. You may look super hyper feminine.

Aries, Gemini and Pieces placements have a youthful look to them

Virgo and Scorpio moons are really attracted to each other, there is a deep bond that happens between them. I think both these placements see each other really well. Usually the Scorpio moons feelings are too intense for the Virgo moon and they end up falling out

Scorpio and Aries risings suffer from really intense migraines. Aries suns and 6th house Mars can experience this as well, but it's intense for those rising signs.

[dreamsy990]

(video essayist voice) kingdom hearts is-

so, kh1. its been. a little while since i played. so forgive me if the game isnt exactly fresh in my mind. theres maybe gonna be errors so please bear with me im trying my best.

this is probably the kh game i have the least thoughts on, which feels weird considering its the first game in the series, but i just dont have a lot of strong opinions on it. its a pretty solid game!

starting where i normally do, the gameplay is probably the worst aspect of the game. they really thought platforming would be a fun thing in this game, but its just. not. the physics are so bad oh my god. if i ever have to jump in kh1 again itll be too soon. the difficulty is also a little bit all over the place. i played on standard (like i do with pretty much every game) and i would randomly jump from breezing through the game to trying a hundred times to fight one boss. most of the time its not the fun kind of difficult, just frustrating. the only time i can remember the difficulty being fun is the last riku fight in hollow bastion. i wish more of the game was the fun kind of hard. strangely enough, i know a lot of people struggled with the riku race and fight in the tutorial, but honestly those were easy for me? i got the fight first try, and the race second. idk, get on my level nerds i guess?

the worlds here are hit or miss. some of them (mostly the original ones, hollow bastion and traverse town specifically) are just amazing and i love them. others are. uh. lets say getting rid of the tarzan world was the best thing to come out of copyright law. also, this game is the only one where i skipped an entire world (sorry atlantica, you fucking suck). so theres that. the disney worlds are probably my least favorite aspect of the game

the story is alright! i dont have much to say about it other than i think that its mostly pretty good when i know whats going on, although both me AND one of my friends were so confused at the ending that we had to go call someone else to ask what the fuck happened and honestly i still dont really know? what the fuck is a kingdom hearts you ask? the world may never know.

this game and 2 are the only ones where maleficent is good. i miss when she was like a fun villain. she was just super into the housing market and i love that. what the fuck is she even doing in ddd? getting into bitcoin????

rikus great, i dont think i need to say that. hes such a freak and i love him. soras pretty good, shoutout to haley joel osman for doing a great job for being uh. 12??? at the time???????? hes great. i know a lot of people really like ansem sod but i just dont get the appeal? he never did anything for me. like hes fine i just didnt care about him whatsoever and anyone who says hes a better villain than like. xemnas. is wrong.

0/10 where is axel. ok but seriously uhhhhhh i give it a 7.7/10. its a solid, enjoyable game! not my favorite, but thats not to say i dislike it at all.

[mueritos]

Hey Matteo, is there anyway I can be an anarchist from home? I dont have the means to do things like leave the house for too long so no protests. I know theres donating to certain places but I dont feel like Im doing enough

hi friend! first of all, being an anarchist doesn't necessarily mean youre gonna be out on the front lines throwing molotov cocktails or creating communes. being an anarchist, to me, is living life in the most anarchist way of de-centering hierarchy in your interpersonal and intrapersonal life/relationships, of honoring people's autonomy (and even their autonomy to make bad decisions or decisions we don't like), holding ourselves and our communities in transformative accountability, and to just live life as authentically as you can.

there is of course the political action aspect, but you must understand that everyone is at different points of their lives. when you're in community with people, you pick up the pieces people have left behind, you pick people up when they fall behind, and you shield them from harm and retaliation by fulfilling their needs. You can read as much theory as you want--from adrienne maree brown to karl marx--but you need lived experience and community to see how these theories play out and are informed by life. you can't be an anarchist without a community of folks who are willing to love you, protect you, and keep you accountable.

at the same time, i'm not here to shame anyone. i have certain thoughts about everything and how "allies" have been pushing marginalized communities to speak up. frankly, what I will say is I will never shame anyone for how they survive in this fucked up capitalistic white supremacist world. you are suffering daily oppression from all sides, I can't blame you for not doing much to inform yourself about daily atrocities because you can barely make your rent. but if you have the capacity and are willing to want to do more, just know that you are holding endless knowledge and historical memory of these moments that the world wants us to erase from history. do not forget. donate, share information, talk with your friends, and hold your marginalized communities closer than ever, but the best thing you can do is never forget.

at the same time, this goes for everyone really, but im not intent on pushing the most marginalized voices (BIPOC but especially Black voices) to speak on every atrocity ever when they're already struggling through their own. i've seen far too many BIPOC communities and advocates online be pushed into speaking when they're not ready or when theyre genuinely protecting their BIPOC folks from MORE zionist/white supremacist hate by making sure they respect their decisions to not speak pubicly. again, I don't intend to shame anyone for doing what they can to survive, ESPECIALLY BIPOC communities. It's atrocious that even now racism is still being used to villify BIPOC voices that are speaking in drafts, still processing their grief and emotions, and for pushing BIPOC voices who aren't even okay with speaking publicly due to fear of retailiation (because thats fucking happening!) at the same time, i do think white folk need to pick up the slack as usual and just get off of BIPOC folks' backs.

i hope this helped. long story short, don't shame people for surviving under oppression, do what you can with the capacity that you have, and hold your people close. I hope that helped and im happy to expand on more.

and as always, the anarchist library is the best resource around.

[dirtytransmasc]

How do you HC spider as a father how do tonowari Ronal interact with their grandchildren

Do tonowari Jake quratich compete to see who's the best grandpa

Is Ronal like the smothering type grandmother

How tisyra aonung lo'ak Kiri tuk all react to be uncles and aunts interact with their nephews or niece

spider is one of the best dads you could imagine; he's got a damn good blue print. he had tonowari and quaritch (who was a really good dad once he broke out of the RDA's grip), who were arguably the best dads the world had ever seen.

he has the 'throw the kid in the pool and let them learn to swim' type energy, but he jumps in with the, so to speak. he never once abandons his kids, he is with them for every aspect of their life, but he teaches them the skills they need to survive. he's not a helicopter parent, but he is never distant.

his children are his everything, his purpose, so, of course, he shows them off, every achievement is celebrated, no matter how big or small. he teaches them everything they need to know about life, and he makes sure they never, ever, feel like he or his sully siblings felt (sorry jake, but we're acknowledging your flawed parenting). they will never feel alone, never feel the need to be the very best, never feel like a burden or freak, never feel like they aren't good enough. he will fight and die to keep his kids happy, safe, and innocent; and god forbid anyone robs his kids of that, he will make them pay.

he takes pride in raising his kids na'vi, makes sure they are proud of who they are, no matter how many fingers they have or what anyone has to say about them. he makes sure they feel love no matter how he comes about having them (whether they are his biologically or not, cause we stan queer spider in this household, but we also stan spider adopting kids just because he knows what its like)

now ronal and tonowari are the ultimate grandparents, they love taking all the kids for a few days (spider has a big family, its canon in my mind), and they are the best 'second' parents. the kids all look up at them, gather around to hear their stories, to learn from them. ronal loves her grandkids so much, she's always carrying one around, making something knew for them, filling them with food (she gets scary when it comes to feeding her grandbabies). tonowari takes all the little ones out on the ilu's, tells them all of the important stories of their people. they're the sweetest, most stock picture-esque, wholesome grandparents.

then theres jake and quaritch...

lets just say they're fighting dirty in the mud over who's the better grandparent (its quaritch, he has a natural affinity for little kids and they all love him. jake tries too hard)

neytiri is like the wise grandmother they all go to for advice.

lo'ak and ao'nung are the fun uncles; lo'ak is the mighty of Payakan the outcast, son of the great Toruk Makto. Ao'nung is the son of one of the greatest Metkayina chiefs, and their favorite grandpa. if the kids are looking for a good time, they go to either of the boys, who will no doubt spare them any lessons, and give them a wild time (his brothers are about to give spider a fucking heart attack, have neither of them outgrown their frankly horrifyingly dangerous childhood ways. he needs them to be more careful with his children for Eywa's sake).

tsireya is a doting aunt, she loves her little neices and nephews. she's definitely a lot more civil then her brother and mate, normally taking the more academic approach, while remaining fun; she takes them out in to the reef and teaches them the names of all the creature, their place in the world (are they predator or prey, where they stand in the food chain relative to the na'vi, etc.), how to craft, and such.

kiri is somehow like both the boys and tsireya. she's like a wine aunt, some days you get a very cross woman who will spitefully teach you a thing or two (lovingly of course) and the next she's got a sly smile and the words 'you wanna have some fun' coming off her lips.

tuk isn't necessarily close to the kids age by the time they come round, but she isn't far from it either, she's just like a big kid for them to play with.

but all fo the aunts and uncles, take it with great grace, family is everything to the lot of them. they protect those kids with their lives and aid in spider's goal of raising them to be good, prepared, but happy innocent people.

[alicentsgf]

the bond between rhaenyra and alicent is crazy. by the point the dinner happens and viserys dies theyve been enemies longer than theyd been friends. everyone has perfectly good reasons to think they would no longer care about each other. otto is the only one truly paying attention, and therefore he kinda knows. hell, even alicent and rhaenyra seem to be taken aback by each other at times. the years they spent living at the keep together must have been insane

this is the thing though (and i've said this before and i'll say it again!) - we're given plenty of evidence to suggest rhaenyra and alicent were so built into each others lives prior to alicent marrying viserys that they were basically one entity. alicent was rhaenyra's childhood companion they were always together, like to the point of unhealthy codependency lmao, thats just the nature of it; it was just them, no other playmates or classmates or friends. just them. together. always. likely from a very young age. and we know they were at least some form of in love with each other, i think thats been confirmed enough at this point for me to say that without needing to argue my point.

and then they get torn apart and maybe dont say one genuinely kind thing to each other for years. but the issue is they only hated each other so much because they loved each other so much first. every unkind act is based in 'i loved you and you betrayed me', 'i loved you and you hurt me', 'i still love you and apparently it doesnt matter' and they can never really hope to reconcile the amount they loved and depended on each other because they never get any closure for it so they just keep loving each other underneath it all and using that pain to foster their resentment of each other. their shared past is just a gaping bloody wound and its never going to heal.

and you're right its not actually that surprising that so few people see the truth of it because rhaenyra and alicents past is only kept alive in them and openly disparage each other for decades and they never speak about their past to anyone (that we see). as ive pointed out previously daemon and criston are their respective confidantes and theres no way they would feel comfortable sharing any of the lingering positive feelings they have for one another with either of them.

and sorry for the tangent but just linking back to my earlier posts today: i do still think the evolution of their relationship was a bit rushed/whiplash inducing (as quite a few elements were, that was the sacrifice made to keep the pace up). they came back too easily from the brink in a way that seemed overly narratively advantageous to rhaenyra - but regardless their story still holds up in a way i cant help but find ridiculously compelling. i still think making this change was a great way to critique the nature of the source material because now you have these two women at the centre of this story who are unquestionably victims and had so little choice and i know some people dont like that because its uncomfortable or w/e and certainly the execution leaves a bit to be desired but to me it just seems unrealistic for them to be anything else? look at the world they live in. the reality they face. we see time and time again in our own world women strive to collaborate and build bridges and men tear them down and pit women against each other and i dont think its reductive or psuedo-feminist to make that phenomenon a central aspect of this story when its set in such a heavily patriarchal world.

[safetycar-restart]

Smt i always imagine is our soft subby boys meeting an expartner and hearing about what your relationship was like with your former sub and its a completely different dynamic from the one you have with him and!!! I could write a thesis on why i think there are very specific categories they all fall into!

Charles... first of all babygurl charles does not want to meet your former sub, does not even want to acknowledge you had previous relationships. You're his now and he's happy being delusional! If it was known they would be at an event you're going to i think he would be very sneaky and try to find a way you can both avoid it, but if you have to go theres no way hes not going to be there (i hc charles and being very protective, very territorial- he does not want to share!). And charles is trying to avoid them but is so hyperaware of their presence he kind of just ends up glaring at them all night while you have an arm around his waist ... so, like, they have no choice but to approach, charles is drawing attention and its awkward 😭 and okay okay your arm never leaves his waist but you smile and maybe just a small comment is made, idk, charles trying to brag about your dynamic and how much attention you give him, bc! He needs to know! You like charles more! And then your former sub goes oh no ours was really laid back, i didnt need too much and she could have other hobbies 😩 i literaly have no idea, i leave this to your talent to make it more believable, but ! Charles just deflates, everything has been too much and hes so overwhelmed and just tired and then teary, but he doesnt want to leave you and just needs you to know he needs to be at home alone with you in spft pyjamas cuddling - i hc charcles as well as just expecting you to know his every feeling, he knows its good to communicate but you always just seem to know ... so just a little bit when you keep talking even with his shiny eyes looking at you and youre not even looking back hes feeling betrayed?? And he knows its irrational but he cant help it.

You go through the rest of the night with a very sullen and withdrawn charles who wont really talk to you but also wont stop hugging you and god forbid you dont hold his waist (very zendaya and tom holland okay? Have you seen those photos???? BABYGIRL) even if hes sad and just a tiny bit upset with you he still needs you to hold him, or hes just gonna fall apart, and now i leave this to ypu, if you want to answer! Just insecure sad charles needing reassurance, but getting the problem out of him is challenging enough. Ik you can do this justice bestie!! Would love to hear your thoughts. I have ideas for the others as well but i thought it was too much for a single ask 😩

Oh my god I love this. PLEASE PLEASE send me your other ideas!!! Please!!! I need to know all the thoughts!!!! I added mommy kink to this because I think it works really well with the different dynamic aspect?

So firstly, yeah charles is happy to live in delusion! He’s your baby boy and you’re his mommy and it has simply always been that way in his little head. He never ever wants to meet anyone who has been with you before him, because no! He refuses! He’s yours and you’re his and that’s it.

(Sidenote: he gets even more distressed when he meets one of his exes)

And because of Charles being so territorial, he honestly loves going to kink events? Of course it’s always very high class kink events where everyone has to sign NDAs to protect Charles.

He LOVES being on your arm the whole night, letting everyone see what a good boy he is for his mommy. He wears his collar so proudly, clinging to your side the entire evening and just being so happy because so many people come up to you two and no one even thinks of trying to join you two because it’s so clear that you’re together and need no one else and Charles is THRIVING.

You spend a fair amount of the evening with Charles curled up on your lap, receiving a slow handjob and he’s truly living his best life. So many people come to watch but none can touch and even when they make comments or suggestions, Charles always looks to you because you’re his mommy! He’s a good boy, only listening to his mommy.

So after you’ve teased an orgasm out of Charles and he’s all soft and happy in your arms (and trying to get down onto the floor because he’s feeling soft and subby and he must return the favour! Must taste mommy!), you decide it’s time to walk around the room a little and actually greet some people.

Charles is more than happy with that, because he loves being arm Candy. He’s in no state to actually talk much, but he knows you’ll handle that.

That’s when you run into your ex. Charles has heard about the person before, because you’re both very open about who you’ve been with before. Maybe Charles had even seen a picture of them before?

Even normally, Charles would be very unhappy with seeing one of your exes. But at a kink event? When he’s just had an orgasm? Oh no Charlie is VERY upset about this.

He glared at the person, sticking to your side and pouting. At first you think it’s Charles being possessive because you did just make him cum and are now looking at others. So you tighten your grip on his waist, pulling him closer. You expect him to melt into your side as always, cuddling into you and then happily getting his cuddles while you chat to some people.

But that’s not what happened, because Charlie’s is upset! He will not just melt into your arms because an ex sub of yours is right there!

At the same time, your ex sub notices you and comes to say hi. The two of you left on good terms, and you don't mind running into them at all. Charles though? Charles minds. He really really minds.

Charles introduces himself though, prodding announcing that you're his mommy, emphasising the possession because he needs the ex sub to know that you're HIS mommy now.

Only for the ex sub to smile and say, "Oh that's nice, we never really did that dynamic together, preferred more lowkey stuff."

Which just... Charles needs to go home now. He needs to go home right now.

He knows that he should be happy to hear that you havent been anyone else's mommy. But that also means that you havent wanted to be anyone else's mommy. Do you not enjoy it as much as he thought you did? Is he just a burden?

He's too sad and too subby and you must take him home now!!

Except he doesn't voice this, he just forces a laugh and cuddles as close to you as he can, trying to get some comfort. You don't notice anything odd about his behaviour, because you expected him to be quiet and clingy after his orgasm.

But then you try to walk somewhere else, expecting Charles to come with you but Charles doesn't expect it. So he just kinda stands there and whines?

You take a few steps before realising Charles isnt with you, and when you turn around, you see a sobbing Charles watching you. The poor thing assumed you were leaving him, not that you were simply going somewhere else and expecting him to follow you.

Your heart just breaks, because your little sub is clearly so lost and confused and something has made him so much more upset than he should be.

So you quickly go back to him, pulling him into your arms and apologising for not warning him that you were going to move.

"Mommy," he whines, clinging to you, "mommy.... need mommy."

You hold him tight, kissing his neck and promising him that you're right there, that he has his mommy.

You take him home after that, changing him into comfy clothes and letting him cuddle him into you. You just hold him close, waiting for him to calm down before you ask him anything. You know that if you ask him what happened before he's ready, then he'll only get even more upset.

So you just let him calm down in your arms, keeping him warm and safe and giving him plenty of forehead kisses.

When he's ready, he admits that what really upset him was meeting your old sub, and hearing that you had a much more laid back dynamic with them. You understand then, and your heart just breaks because your subby baby should never ever think that he's too much.

"Things were more laid back with them," you explain, "and yeah I've never had such a serious dynamic before. But I've also never had such a cute babyboy before, and I've never wanted to look after someone like I want to with you before."

"So you... you're happy with me?" he asks you, sniffling a little.

"Of course!" you say, "I love you! You're my baby, yeah?"

He nods then, managing to give you a little smile.

But he'd still rather be delusion though. He belongs to his mommy and his mommy belongs to him.

(PLEASE SEND ME THE OTHER THOUGHTS I NEED THEM)

[crushpunchh-art]

Lilith is so special to me bcs she's like so complicated and I love every aspect of her character lol

Also love the way you express her guilt thru Ur art!!

I feel like not enough people explore that.

Like, Lilith spent 30 years in the cult, most of her life, and despite being a victim it also probably caused her to do horrible things, especially to loved ones (i.e. Eda), almost killing Luz (a child), and it left her morality to be very flawed especially in S1 and what we can assume was in-between her initiation and her leaving.

And imagine the guilt for her actions. Like yk she's just cringing at all the horrible things she did in the past, and the horrible things she let be done to her "for the greater good".

Hopefully this made sense :3

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. ALL OF THIS EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS ASK. i feel like a lot of the time when people talk about lilith they act like its umm. a lot more black and white than it is? like either shes The Literal Devil (dont see this very often but theres this ONE GUY ON THE OWL HOUSE FANDOM WIKI.... endless entertainment watching them i promise you.) or Only a victim who Never did anything wrong.

like i love her BECAUSE shes garbage actually. she SUCKS in season 1. like obviously shes suffering but just. like. objectively? shes AWFUL. making fun of eda for her curse when She Caused it comes to mind. she SUCKED in s1! like, really badly! she kidnapped luz and was COMPLETELY unnecessarily menacing to gus and willow (girl chill out stop. you know damn well you could be handling this better) etc etc etc.

except also im like 90% sure she Knew she sucked. actually shes kind of the Leader of the Lilith Hater Squad. im not even sure its a case of flawed morals so much as a case of 'What Does It Matter? It's For The Greater Good'. / occasionally 'what the hell else am i supposed to do.' like does she KNOW shes doing awful things? oh totally. is she going to STOP? nope.

i would like to highlight. this part of your ask:

Like yk she's just cringing at all the horrible things she did in the past, and the horrible things she let be done to her "for the greater good".

lilith doormat truthers rise up. that woman lived under a man who hated her PERSONALLY for like 30 years. while her coworker was bullying her (Why was Kiki like that honestly like what was her damage when it came to Lilith. With Hunter okay sure. But Lilith??? Whatd she do to you???) you think she was STANDING UP FOR HERSELF? No! That woman hasn't stood up for herself since she was like 15! If she had she'd probably be dead by now!!!!

Sorry sorry sorry im ranting. I love her so much. Dumbest little cheeto puff who tries so hard and somehow still manages to do everything wrong.

TO THE ART BIT OF YOUR ASK: oh my god thank you so much!!! when im drawing her thats really like. what i try to focus on? like thats what i REALLY want to get across. that she feels so crazy guilty about everything.

thank you for having so many correct opinions about lilith. we will shake hands or if you dont want to do that we will nod approvingly at one another

[soup-scope]

I def think its unfair to call ppl who dislike her or talk about her harmful actions misogynistic, I also think theres an aspect of misogyny to people who are downplaying her actions. shes cool! id love to see how her mind works and if she tries to justify what she did or knows it was a bad move

I did not say you’re misogynistic if you dislike Alexis. Where are you getting this from.

If you feel the need to hide behind anon whenever you say anything remotely negative to a creator, I think you should just. Not send an ask then. (I understand to an extent if they’re a huge creator or smth but I’m. Not. I don’t think ur at risk of harassment or smth. If anything if helps *ME* out cause then we could have this convo in the dms or smth. Instead of you putting words i haven’t said into *my* mouth. On *my* blog.)

Anyways the point of that paragraph is to say my dms are open if you ever want clarification on any of my viewpoints and that I think hiding behind anon on this blog is dumb cause only like two people pay attention to my opinions on here and even interact with my content when it isn’t art based.

Back to the point at hand.

I think I know what you’re referencing, and you’re taking it completely wrong and running off a cliff with a point I never made.

What I THINK you’re talking about. Is a comment I made saying smth along the lines of “I don’t hate Alexis as much as I could because she’s a woman.” And to explain that. That’s smth I always do with fictional women lmao.

And I also mention that the reason why I do that, is because in many fandom spaces (including redacted) many people tend to enter misogynistic zones when they hate female characters. You’re allowed to dislike female characters‼️‼️ but I’ve seen people get INCREDIBLY misogynistic with female characters they dislike. When their male counterparts have potentially done worse.

I’m very neutral about Alexis. I don’t care enough about vampires that aren’t Vincent Solaire or Alice Cullen.

You’re allowed to dislike Alexis and her actions. But if you do so while calling her a ‘bitch’ and so with even more vitriol than you’d show someone like Kody? Yeah imma look at u funny.

Every three months the redacted fandom discovers critical thinking and it’s sending me through the fucking roof.

If you have any more questions. I’ll either talk to u in my dms or on the comments of this post or smth. 😭😭

[wherewilligofromhere]

lost

so i know i literally do not have a following on here at all but i am gonna kind of use it as a vent or a dump space right now, and if you see this and it resonates with you maybe consider staying? i know i dont post a lot but at times its because i feel like i literally have nothing to give that people dont already have or see in their own lives. i feel like the lack of originality has caught up with me. i despise the fact that the interent has shown every person every person. i hate that you have to break your back and bleed yourself try to inovate even a speck of originality. and everyone will come for you and try to prove you wrong.

anyways. thats slightly tangenty but ties into another point. i want friends. i have no friends. i used to crave a group of girls or some people i could catch up with at the cafe or the store. but its to the point where unless it was my partner, i have no one, not one person, i could pick up the phone and randomly call, with no warning, no real reason, and to just talk. i have literally no one. none. is that my fault? probably. but i feel like i weird people out, im too much for people, they think or are so different from me. i feel so isolated in a world where we all see aspects of eachother lives if we even glance at our phones.

i crave late night phone calls. imessage games. playing cards agains humanity, online or in person. i crave deep conversations, intellectual conversations, but i also crave those "girl listen up" conversations. i crave the connection that has left me every single time my entire life.

i look at everyone elses life online knowing my mediocresy and general offputting vibe would never be enough.

i am no ones best friend, and i have no best friend.

i get so scared leaving comments (yes COMMENTS!) on posts because what if im coming off the wrong way, what if this sounds weird, im being so fake, none of them are anything like you.

i cant communicate or reach out in discord servers.

my social anxiety (which at this point is just directly derivative of my ASD) prevents me from talking to others if theres even the chance they know im a human and im me. discord, comments, dms, compliments in class, let alone an offer to get coffee or head to the library to study.

i will never have late night on roof top parking garages with wine and music, surrounded by the people i love and who love me back.

i will never have days where we have been in the water so long all of our fingers are raisins, and we can run towards the towel with sandwichs and cocktails waiting for us.

how does one survive, being the most offputting and generaly confusing person in a room, yet the lonliest. the most deprived.

comment if you'd like, comment if this resonates, and comment to say hi. please. please please please dont be like me. talk. and it doesnt even have to be here. talk to people, leave that comment, send that dm, make that post.

[bathroomtrapped]

What if they didnt fight cary and convinced him to return for saw 3... Then, would the scenario "jigsaw kidnaps larrys family" become real? Then, then, would it be more awesome than his coming back in saw 3d? I guess the answers yes. I'll forever hate Larry's treachery.

if it went according to plan, allison is kidnapped again and lawrence takes the role of lynn where he cares for john (iirc). either way, yeah theyre involved again. not sure abt diana tho?

okay so, sorry to be That Guy. but lawrence as an apprentice makes the most sense for his character and the saw universe and im going to use this random ask to voice my opinion so thank you for using my ask box as a saw google lol

A LOT more under the cut

i DO with we got to see that version because it would mean more lawrence screentime and i genuinely do not dislike any saw content. idc how shitty saw x is, it could undo everything and shit all over it but i would NOT care. any content means an avenue to explore saw further

thats one of the main reasons the apprentice reveal was so good, in my opinion. before i get to why its great for lawrence, i want to point out why it works SO well for the other aspects. amanda is johns pseudo-daughter, he LOVED her like a father. we see it at the end of saw iii. no matter what he says, john does not forgive people. he punishes jill for losing their child but at the end of iii, we see him genuinely look at amanda with love and forgiveness. and yet? he never trusted her enough to tell her about lawrence. this random fucking guy who didnt even WIN, is the golden child. trusted with his wife!

as for mark, he is the definition of jigsaws philosophy. he may have jostled his victims around but he had the strongest will to live out of anyone and never relished in hurting them (crying after kidnapping paul + killing seth). another reason i like 3D is that he cant even look at jills corpse. his "game over" wasnt victorious. not like johns always is. YET he is not trusted. hes been there since before amanda, followed his rules, lived his philosophy and he was shafted again. i think the reveal does a lot of good for the apprentice-john dynamic for everyone involved.

secondly, JOHNS TESTS DONT WORK. CANONICALLY. they do not!! amanda says it herself. jigsaw traps make people worse, and not just bc thats a logical response to trauma. working for john amplifies everyones worst traits. amanda became a killer, mark grew to find some sort of enjoyment in killing (at the very least, it made him dependent on it for power and a sense of identity after the loss of his sister)

lawrences test was designed to show him what john said he was missing: empathy. he has none! he lies and doesnt care, he cant understand other peoples points of view, and he prioritizes his own whims and wants over everyone. CONSISTENTLY. so what happens when his tests presents him with the very definition of his heart and moral core, then asks him to kill him? he gets fucking worse!

lawrence is a narcissist. as in the personality disorder. he has low empathy (this is canonically the reason for his test!! not just "he cheated" or "he ignored john", he does these things for that reason) and god. just look at the symptoms, its like they made every scene an example of them on purpose. the idea that his game would be a wake up call and cause him to reflect and adjust his behaviors is just insane to me! within the canon logic of the story, and when taking into account his clear personality disorder... its the most logical choice (source: i have it and also i have eyes. SIDE SIDE note, my real source is that hes a clear parallel to john and john was evaluated for NPD in his psychiatric files in the saw game. so theres that) i think this has a lot to do with people not understanding low empathy. they cant understand why he would betray adam and join jigsaw

trauma wont change that overnight. getting fixed by john for 2 years without seeing the sun certainly wont help either

lawrence as an apprentice is the most logical progression of his character. he does what he wants and what he has to, at the expense of others. hes isolated from his wife and child. he cant understand other peoples prespective. he has an issue with guilt or feeling empathy for people, including those suffering like john. this wont change bc he experienced his first shred of empathy after MURDERING someone he got to know for 6 hours. low empathy =/= no empathy. thats like saying dude bros who do shrooms and experience empathy for the first time in their life are changed people. they arent lol

also the contrast between his game over vs marks 5 minutes earlier is SO important for their characters. theres so much good shit in that movie. take out the corny lines and jill mistreatment, and u have a lot to work with! so yes i do think that itd be more awesome. i love saw 3D and what it did for his character. im not sure how saw iii hostage lawrence wouldve expanded on his character, but id rather go with saw 3D bc im confident they didnt butcher his character. im glad that a beloved protagonist is a complete narc, and hes still beloved! im never giving that up

[justagalwhowrites]

me, a doc x tommy truther til i die, watching these anons like omg the girls are fightingggg

im just kidding, literary discourse and media analysis is ALWAYS good and i don't think theres enough of it in fic spaces (it's always "it's just fanfic it's not that deep" YES IT IS i love thinking and having thoughts about everything). so here's my opinion that nobody asked for i just can't resist LMAOOOO

the great thing about fiction is that you (both reader and writer) can safely explore and experience things that you otherwise wouldn't be able to, including things that would be dangerous irl. joel and doc's relationship was never perfect (even pre-outbreak), they lose each other for years and both go through insane amounts of life altering, major trauma, and then find each other again. of course the relationship is going to be toxic this time around! the idea that finding doc again would have been enough to make him overcome having his only child murdered in front of him is insane to me and im SOOO glad you didn't go that route when writing.

i get what people are saying when they say it's too much/toxic/bordering on abusive for him to treat doc this way. it is toxic and it is abusive but it's also a very realistic depiction of a toxic relationship ("even though it's bad and he's bad and it won't last i'm choosing joel instead of moving on"). he isn't a good guy and people forget that because he's a walking HOT SINGLE DADS NEAR YOU! porn ad but he's robbed, killed, and tortured people, some of which didn't deserve it. it's never confirmed in canon that he didn't sexually assault people pre-ellie and pre-qz when he was out there. i don't even think it's IMPLIED that he never did these things (other than hating david). point is, he kinda sucks if you think about it too hard. in a different timeline every therapist in the country would tell joel and doc to go 100% no contact and joel would have an abilify prescription.

but alas, this is fiction! these people are not real and these situations exclusively exist as a combination of letters on a screen. i know it's technically a joel x reader series, but am i the only one who doesn't see myself as doc? she's a whole oc at this point (side note: what's everyones doc fc? mine is dianna agron slay). i think that could be another reason people are hesitant with how joel/doc are playing out; they see doc taking him back without him doing much begging and it takes them out of it because it isn't something they would do. which is fair and i have no rebuttal for that! there's no right or wrong way to read. keep doing you besties but plz don't take back a toxic lover just because they grovel omg

tldr joel/doc = toxic but they aren't real and also they live under a fascist regime during the apocalypse where italian 4 cheese cheez its don't exist so cut them some slack alright if i had to live in those conditions i would be worse than both of them

this incomprehensibly long take brought to you by my love for literary discourse, my decade of experience in therapy, and my autism that makes me overanalyze every aspect of everything that exists :D

OMG BABES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

I love all the conversation around this fic and that people have different interpretations and feelings around it (even if sometimes I’m like “wait here’s why!!”)

But yes ultimately, these are two very traumatized, hurt people who are trying to survive and that drives soooo much of their choices.

[medievalcellphone]

virgo sun & moon, cap rising <3 ☆

if you have mostly positive aspects and houses this a great three for actually getting things done and going after what you want in life and what brings you a genuine sense of emotional contentment. capricorn risings are hard for me to understand bc its such a learn by knowing placement. and i don't know any closely. slow to warm up types, maybe a little reserved but not at all rude. very the suite of pentacles. your material safety is so so so important to your overall well being. this is also maybe a bit virgo-y, but you might be overly concerned about being perceived as odd or doing things wrong professionally and/or just in a greater societal context. even if that great societal perception is within a subculture or specific community. or maybe you are the literal opposite of this. either way you portray yourself with focused intention. combined with your sun sign, ur realllllyy out here projecting an air of confidence and self control. u might not feel like ur pulling it off but. you are.. almost always. idk u but. you want to be seen as someone who can deal with "it." and u can.

presumably you are one of the most loyal, loving friends anyone can have, someone that others can count on, the type to be actually helpful in solving problems in addition to being a good listener. you want to understand others and learn from them, but you might have little to no patience for people that act in a way you can't make sense of. like maybe people that keep getting themselves stuck in the same bad patterns. its important to remember for all you know ur doing the same thing. i think virgos are incredibly astute at seeing when someone else is acting badly/hurting themselves and others, but sometimes forget they can be doing the same thing, just in a different way. i have no way of knowing this and am v probably wrong. but i bet you are soooo good at cooking or baking. something domestically charming. connecting with others over shared interests is hugely fulfilling to your life, you are the type to end up hours deep in a sprawling conversation without noticing time ever passed. like, i'm sure wherever you dwell is beautifully decorated and tailored to your personality. i would guess u are tidy because like every virgo moon i've met is but even if ur naturally messy, its like, the whole ~don't touch my pen its on the floor i meant it to be there~ thing.

ahhhh virgo moons. you are prone to anxiety, you really like to be in control, quite possibly very perfectionist.. that is just how it is. you're verrryyyyy curious, intelligent, creative and specifically artistic, deeply self aware. when upset, or extra stressed you might have trouble being able to articulate yourself or open up right away. it's vitally important to your sense of emotional well being that you have enough time to process emotions without having to be seen or like, perceived by others.

you cant help but fall into the things that interest you, you want to know and figure out every detail and aspect. this includes people. i assume you are very gentle, caring, will go the extra mile for your friends and loved ones... you would probably be happiest in a relationship where you know the other person is 100% able to be counted on. not to like start giving ppl romantic advice. its just my sense.

i feel like virgos see things coming from a mile away. psychics of the earth sign trio. there is a need to do things correctly. it is important 4 u to learn that people are allowed to do things in a way you don't understand.. when upset you might be a little too critical of others. that being said, this can also invert and do a little bit of a martyr act. you tend to endure things you don't have to. like go take that advil theres no need to have a headache even if its not that bad. take that statement literally or metaphorically. never quite satisfied with yourself and others. i said this already.. virgo moons, virgos in general, there is this underlying anxiety that makes it hard to believe things are going to be okay, that you can relax, that others love you unconditionally. but. u can. and people do.

my favorite book on astrology ever calls virgos 'the discriminators', and i really agree with that definition. curatorial.

a movie rec, and another

[queenburd]

And then, of course, because we can’t be done, the Beginners Guide is specifically about exploring a game developer’s intentions and the point of making and sharing art.

The conflict within the Beginners Guide was that Davey, the narrator, did not understand why Coda, his friend, would make games that seemed unsolvable, or had much more than anyone could interact with or see, or seemed pointless.

The meta narrative context was the opposing ideas between making art to share, and making art for oneself. Davey kept taking Codas games, tweaking them, and showing them to other people, and that is even the context OF the beginners guide.

(To clarify. Wreden has confirmed this is all a fictitious work. There’s speculation it’s about his lost relationship with his roommate or friend after the success of tsp in 2013. We’re not going to go into depth on this, we are going to look at this from a completely fictitious POV and what it says in contrast or response to tsp.)

Why make art? Why write, why make games, why do anything? Davey comes at it from the perspective that it is made to be shared, that it has to say something about the creator or some subject.

Coda (and this is of course conjecture. We never know his true POV) comes at this with a vastly different perspective. He makes games to make games. They don’t need to be played or fully explored. I honestly always got the sense that he used game making and his games as a way to better learn the system he was using. It was to learn, so it was for him and nobody else. He didn’t feel the need to share it, and that was okay.

And that is a perfectly respectable point of view. I don’t show every single sketch I make. I will draw some things over and over until I am happy with the end product and that’s all people will see. That’s a natural aspect of an artist who is teaching themselves the craft.

So if the point of The Stanley Parable is that it be shared by its creators to be loved by its audience (which is what Davey the character would argue, and is valid), then the Beginners Guide is a discussion about whether or not that’s the only reason things need to be made.

And as I said, it isn’t at all. Creators do share their work to know others respond to it and to delight in that, but that’s only for the works that they willingly share. When a creator shows you something they made, they are hoping you like it too.

But theres so much made that isn’t shared. So much that gets lost to time because it wasn’t meant for any audience. The Beginners Guide is a discussion on that.

It’s also a discussion on whether something has to have meaning or not. And they don’t. The creator can’t always choose how people interpret their works. Case in point, I’m talking out my own butt about the “point” of the Stanley Parable. I’m using my own POV to reflect how I read it.

Is that okay for me to do? To take someone else’s work and speculate my own meaning for it, even though I have no idea if it was intended?

Something something death of the author.

If the work is shared, the creator cannot control how others will perceive it. That is something creators have to make peace with. If they don’t want that to happen, they don’t have to share it. That’s valid too.

If a work is shared, it’s because that creator cares deeply enough about it to make themselves vulnerable in the hope others will care too.

Something I keep thinking about and have been struggling to put into words abt my headcanons for tsp, 432, the narrator, and the “canonical timeline” is the extra meta layer of the blurred line between diegetic and nondiegetic… creation?

It’s so hard to try to summarize. Let me explain.

Diegetically, the narrator “created” the parable, the story, Stanley, 432, the skip button, etc etc. he’s a godlike entity who made a video game for the sake of art. He has full control of the parable, save for certain key moments.

Nondiegetically, a video game company named CrowsCrowsCrows made the video game called the Stanley parable, and hired kevan brighting to voice a character. The video game company developed every aspect and asset. The narrator is nothing more than a character.

And yet, diegetically, this is acknowledged in several places in story. The most obvious aspect is the Museum ending, though the Confusion ending is also a pretty big one. The new “bottom of the mind control facility” ending also acknowledges these developers who had to resolve the bug.

The clash between diegetic and non diegetic, the insertion of non diegetic into the diegetic, is one of the most beloved points of the game, since from its immediate loadin, the narrator (an aspect that is nondiegetic in most other stories that have one) is inserted into his own story. He’s breaking his own “in-story” consistency.

So you have a story within a story within a story. The narrators story/video game he is telling and trying to make, the story of the narrator clashing with Stanley/the player, and then the real world application of CrowsCrowsCrows making this video game abt all of it.

How fucking confusing is that? Me just trying to explain all of this as simply as possible. That’s why it’s been so hard to figure out how to talk about it. But all of this has to be covered for this next part to really make sense.

Because I’ve talked about how I think the implication is the narrator made 432 but then changed his story and 432 didn’t fit anymore, and this led to 432’s disappearance and their own condescension of him.

That is only the first two levels of “story within story”. The final meta layer, that I haven’t addressed even tho it’s been in my head from the start, is that technically that information, the entire above paragraph, just Is Not True.

The narrator did not make 432. The narrator and 432 and Stanley and the curator, all of them are simply characters that interact with each other, all made by CrowsCrowsCrows. They may not actually KNOW this, in their own universe, but it’s an inescapable truth.

And the only character who actually knows it, can see all the layers of narrative and truth, is the Curator. She protects this secret, she knows all they are is code and recorded lines by actors, made by a company.

The reason all of this is fascinating to me is because of how it affects my interpretation of headcanons, fanfiction, and art.

If the complex weaving of meta narrative and nondiegetic storytelling has captured people, and they know what it is (even if they can’t fully name it), and they are still writing and drawing characters growing with each other, interacting, trying to and sometimes succeeding in finding freedom—

On some level we may know and want hope that our decision to care about these fictional characters means something. That it can have an impact, an actual impact. We believe they can grow because they have an interaction with the real world and we can affect them.

That’s incredible isn’t it? Like obviously we know from our own real world aspect they are characters, solid and contained to the diegetic worlds they inhabit. We just don’t care because we love them anyway.

CrowsCrowsCrows made a game with a bunch of characters and released it into the world in the hopes people would like it, be amused by it, or even moved by it. That’s what the narrator strives for with “his” video game, too.

And that is why the whole point of The Stanley Parable, diegetically, non diegetically, and on every narrative level, is to be loved by its fans.

[serenhoshi]

𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐳𝐢 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

got a request for the best composer ever :))

Not very surprising, but Woozi is not interested in relationships

maybe he had interest in a few people, but never enough to actually date them, he was mostly interested by them because of a few aspects of their personality

he’d clearly be a pansexual, in my opinion ofc

and finding the right person would be very hard for him

because 1st: he doesn’t have a lot of time for himself, he works a lot 

and 2nd: hes very selective of the people around him

seventeen are so close to his heart that he wants to find someone as wonderful as any other seventeen member (but with the romantic side added)

so it’s very hard to find that very person

For the sake of the imagine, you’re “that very person” that he needs in his life

you’re a mix of a big ball of energy, like hoshi, who matches very well with woozi

but you can also be much calmer and mature like the8 or seungcheol

so you do have the safe vibe that woozi associates the members with

you get closer with time, but it’s very slow

woozi is not the type to take things fast when it comes to love, not only because he’s kinda shy and clueless, but also because he doesn’t have the time

conversations on the phone like “wyd?” “I’m in the studio” are very recurrent

The biggest step in your relationship is him inviting you to his studio, and this becoming a habit for you two

everytime you come with some snacks and you both spend time together

theres a dilemma for him because he falls progressively more and more in love with you, and it inspires him for songs, so he works more and sees you a bit less

it annoys him

ofc to ask you to be his s/o he wrote a goddamn song

very cute, he didn’t look at you during the whole listening, his hears bright red

so now you’re in a relationship

the members still can’t believe woozi has an s/o

WOOZI

LEE mother fucking JIHOON

has someone????

damn

he was SO shy at the beginning

almost ghosted you for a whole week lmao

shyly initiates touch and stuff like that

like when you walk next to each other his hand brushes yours and then he progressively takes your hands in yours (without looking at you lmao)

also progressively puts his hand on your thigh when he drives

like first it’s on his lap, then on the gear lever, then on your seat, then on your lap, his eyes focused on the road

you have good morning and good night kisses

very quick everytime, but he gets less shy with time

like now he kisses you but his hand(s) holds your chin, or goes to the back of your neck, or holds your waist

he loves little touches like that

one thing he’ll NEVER do

is matching outfits/accessories

when you go out on a date and see some of these couple things, he pretends to be disgusted

one day you offered him a key chain for his phone, and then showed him your matching one

he pretended to be annoyed, but in reality he secretly enjoys it

likes having his special moments with you

like on every friday night you go out in the streets and enjoy fast food while looking at street artists singing or dancing

it’s his little habit, and he loves enjoying this kind of simple moment with you

ALSO

doing sports together?????

like him coaching you and all

he really motivates you while working out

he is the first one to see the well-being of the gym on your body

will play the strict coach but in reality he makes sure you stretch well, and you don’t hurt yourself 

Now for the music, I don’t think he’ll make you listen to his productions before they’re out, he’d be too pressured to hear your opinion

many many songs will be inspired by you

the cutest ones

maybe a few sad ones that he wrote after an argument

but thats really it

still expect him to sing under the shower, and play basically any instrument at any random time in the appartement, any time hes inspired

i think i’m done here :)

now the smutty part below!

it takes a lot of time for you both to have sex for the first time

but when its finally done,, it gets less shy with time and practice

remember how you do sports together?

well it has its benefits

you both last longer, and see how each other has more defined muscles each time

no matter what, woozi is always on top of you

every damn time

his strong arms on each side of your face-

kinda noisy too, like small whines and groans

the pace is more slow and intense than fast and rough

making love with you lasts long

around an hour, maybe more, maybe less

as for the place, its either in your shared appartment, in his studio (only happened like 2 times because he was VERY horny), or at the gym (only once, because you were both very horny and no one was there)

his FINGERS-

makes you go through at least 2 orgasms just with his fingers

not a big fan of toys, but likes bondage (on you)

you once covered his eyes for sex and he complained during the whole thing so you gave up

after care is long as well

he doesn’t talk much, each time he does its to ask you how you’re doing, or if you need something, and of course he compliments you

i think almost every time after sex you take a bath or a shower together

and uuuuh yeah thats it :)

[3liza]

talking about flters and real beauty vs fake beauty and cultural standards etc always makes me think about all the victorian and edwardian novels i read, where the things that people thought about beauty were recorded at length. recently ive been reading a lot of Thomas Hardy (best known for Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Jude the Obscure) and there’s so much discussion of the beauty of people, particularly love interests, both men and women. and these writers, and their eras, and the culture of the eras, was of course obsessed with beauty and youth and also artificial beauty (being the eras of the really transformative corsets, not to mention some of the earliest industrialized or modernized beauty products or processes), as all human societies are to a greater or lesser extent in their own ways, but the thing that sticks out to me in reading these books is how beauty is not the singular or even the most important aspect of a person’s overall attraction. if someone has a beautiful face or figure, it is mentioned, but never to the obsessive, fixated extent that physical beauty is isolated from and elevated over all other features in modern american/western culture. there are plenty of protagonists or love interests in these books who are described as not young, or not remarkable, or not pretty, or even ugly or frightening, but nevertheless compellingly sexy and attractive, or simply interesting, or worthy in some way. 

its weird that the cultural consciousness has become seemingly ignorant of non-physical attraction. like that anon that was in my inbox talking about how they were “normal looking’ and therefore “needed” filters in order to “compete” with attractive people. it’s a weirdly mercenary and capitalist view of the social economy, first of all, which absolutely is not zero-sum no matter how badly the social networks want to convince us that it is. but there was never a single mention from that person about their ability to charm or entertain or attract using anything except a fake photo of themselves. wild. im fuckin worried about them! im worried about every young person how has brain worms

when i was about 4 and starting to become aware of how much adults were obsessed with my appearance because i was dainty and blonde and could do a passable shirley temple imitation, my parents gave me a very serious lecture about what physical beauty actually meant: i didn’t work for it (yet, i mean i do a lot of work now as an adult), it was given to me genetically. and someday, maybe sooner or more suddenly than anyone could predict, it would be gone. if accident, illness, or hardship didnt get me, old age eventually would. so with that being a certainty, i had better build a life and a personality on something other than my looks. and i said, ok. every day i get older im more grateful for that advice and the fact i decided to take it to heart instead of trying to gamble on Being Hot for long enough to get job security. which is also a valid career choice but it’s a risky one. always better to have a fallback just in case.

im of an age rn where a lot of women in my peer group are starting to get a very hunted vibe about the impending end of their youth, which is valid. theres nothing foolish about it, its not their fault, theyre not stupid or somehow lacking because this is an issue in their lives. but im noticing that i am significantly less freaked out by, idk, how long ago the 90s were or whatever, because i have been expecting to get old since i was in kindergarten. and i had adults around me who were just like “hey this is what old people look like and what bodies do over time. its not a big deal. everything on tv is fake btw”. i didnt get out unscathed, ive had eating disorders and all sort of weird brain-body problems. 

my advice i guess if i have any is to go outside and really look around you. notice how almost every single woman, and most men, has at least some cellulite, even if its just when theyre sitting down or whatever. notice how everyone has blemishes and zits. most people have some dandruff. if someone is wearing makeup, it’ll be cakey or balled up or smeared or uneven or clumpy even if it’s just a bit. everyone over the age of about 20 will have stretch marks somewhere, even if they aren’t visible except in certain light. i was under the impression i didnt have many until one time seeing a picture of my butt in FULL natural light and finally saw the entire surface of both cheeks was covered in straitions, they just were hard to see most of the time because im the color of drywall and scars tend to be light. it’s really easy to spot hair extensions and wigs and fake nails and fake tans and shapewear once you figure out how to see it. and none of these things take away from someone’s character. 

there’s a strong argument to be made that when corsetry was the norm, no woman was expected to simply be the shape of the corset unless she was actually wearing it. photographs and drawings of women in the 19th and early 20th century were retouched a bit as all photos have been, yes, but they were not retouched to make naked women appear to be corset-shaped. THAT is new. people are now getting surgery to be corset-shaped. and like, i dont think anyone should not be able to look however they want if they want to have that surgery. that is one meaning of cyborg feminism, probably. what i dont want, is for anyone to ever think that’s a normal way to look (except for veryvery tiny mathematical outliers, the Barbie Hips Georg of instagram) WITHOUT surgery or shapewear. which i see a lot now. i saw an instagram fashion designer with a very obviously surgically-altered body answer a question in her inbox about how she maintained her figure with some nonsense about diet and exercise. so now some (probably young) person out there is thinking that if they just do intermittent fasting enough, theyll look like a woman with butt and boob implants, a BBL, fillers, etc. that person probably thinks that if they arent able to diet and exercise good enough, they will fail at looking that way through their own laziness and lack of work ethic or whatever. i see that mindset constantly, especially in young women.

the surgery isnt the issue. the look itself isnt the issue. the filters themselves arent the issue. the issue is that on none of these images, is there an indication of what has been changed or how. the brain damage effect of filters would be lessened, i think, if everyone KNEW which images had been altered and how. so maybe thats the answer? mandatory labeling? i dont know. what’s terrifying is that the average adult human in america cant tell from a glance what has been altered in a photograph, no matter how clumsily, because they simply dont have a template for what a real human looks like anymore. the false images have supplanted the real images, the actual memories of alive humans that you know and have met or lived with. 

if you go into any of the shittier men’s spaces online you will find threads for posting pictures of “beautiful girls”, and it is page after page after page of teenagers in full makeup, hair extensions or wigs, circle lenses, facetuned, bodytuned, surgery, etc, and then hundreds of men yearning and fanning themselves over her “natural beauty”. dont go looking for this stuff, it will permanently fuck you up to know what a basic guy on the bus is thinking about women every day. dont do it

but i also seriously predict a backlash into “natural” looks after this current madness, similarly to how the 1960s saw the rise of the hippie girl with swingin titties, pit hair and no high heels after the consumer beauty madness of the 50s. of course the 60s beauty ideals were in some ways just as fake, but there was some authentic yearning towards a freedom from capitalist bodies as well. so when that happens send me $20: paypal.me/3liza. should be in like the next 4 years or so. thanks