#theres only 3 graphs left to make

[duckduckngoose]

Survey results should be out tmmr

[angelwishess]

𝜗𝜚 Floyra Intro Post !

❝Because theres no one on the land or in the sea more in sync than those two.❞

|| playlist. || moodboard. || pinterest quotes. || pinterest board. || (<- in the “Dynamic w Floyd” section!)

Floyra is the ship of my main oc, Kyra and Floyd! Kyra is my Yuusona twisted from the Disney Princess Stereotype.

This intro post is just to graph out the timeline and details of their relationship. Funfacts at the end :3 (Fair warning though, this ended up being SUPER long… So feel free just to skip to the funfacts if you want HAHAHA)

Please note I may or may not have changed some things in the canon storyline for my own amusement hehe. Nothing too major though.

Tropes :

Idiots to Lovers, Bestfriends to Lovers, Soulmates, literally the DENSEST people ever … Actually they’re more like cowards. Mutual pining, mutual SIMPING they ADORE eachother they are absolutely WHIPPED, chaotic lovey dovey couple, tooth-rotting fluff, no i mean seriously this is the fluffiest ship EVER, they make eachother both better and worse simultaniously. They share the same braincell. Basically already a couple before they even start dating but they dont realize it.

Kyra: “What?? Ofc we’re not dating lmao wdym we’re just friends!!” <- just held his face tenderly and looked into his eyes adoringly while calling him the prettiest boy in the world and kissing his face all over

Floyd: “yeah lol why would u think that” <- arm around her waist, basically always looking at her with a dopey grin and heart eyes

First Impressions

When Floyd heard that there was an unexpected appearance of a magicless student at the entrance ceremony that blazed in with a flaming fire tanuki and set fire to the mirror chamber, he was intrigued. When he learned that very same student was, quite literally, from an entirely different world, he was even more intrigued.

Not to mention the fact she lived in that rundown, deteriorating 'dorm' that was literally called Ramshackle, and she was almost expelled with two other guppies on the very first day of school.

But, when he saw her for himself he was... Disappointed.

Often times she just stood by the sidelines, seemingly in her own world with a far-off look in her eyes and an empty smile that ticked him off for no apparent reason.

She never reacted to anything, letting people walk over her like some sort of welcome mat. Somehow, she didn't even feel alive.

To put it bluntly— Floyd thought she was boring.

Just a wimpy, puny little shrimp who didn't even have any magic. Who wouldn't even run away if her life was on the line, weak and defenseless. Naive. How boring, and here he thought he had another play thing... But wheres the fun if he doesn't get a reaction out of it? How lame.

Kyra and Floyd only officially met during book 2.

Kyra passed by Floyd a bunch of times before— but never actually ‘saw’ him. Floyd on the other hand, already had an opinion of Kyra.

Seeing her just simply standing by the sidelines again and saying nothing and just… Staring. He decided to finally approach her straight up.

Deciding to give her a squeeze for the fun of it— he didn’t expect at all for her to hug him back and basically turn the situation on him instead. It flustered him, and made him walk away from the whole scene out of confusion and embarrassment.

Despite everything, Kyra thought Floyd was amusing. and insanely pretty.

Building Interest …

As time passed they seemed to keep catching glimpses of eachother. And with each passing day, she seemed to get more and more... Interesting.

Facing overblots despite having no magic, causing trouble left and right and getting into such ridiculous situations it makes you wonder how she does everything she does without getting tired of how absurd it all is.

When his first impression of her was her being ‘boring', his second was her being naive. How else could you explain it? She had to be either ridiculously brave or incredibly stupid and naive to do the things that she does.

Kyra and Floyd don’t have any notable interactions until the main events of Book 3.

When Kyra decided to strike up a deal with Azul to free all of the students under a contract— Floyd thought she was stupid. Naive, and way too easy of a target. It was laughable. It basically confirmed everything he thought of her.

As Floyd and Jade were monitoring Kyra and Grim as they packed up their things, Kyra acted as if nothing major was happening. Talking to them and cracking jokes like they were old friends. It was then Floyd and Kyra found out they might be more similar than they thought, saying the same things at the same time and holding the same opinions.

When Kyra almost dropped a bag of her things, Floyd helped from impulse. He laughed it off, but Kyra decided to give him a kiss on the cheek as a ‘thank you’.

He froze in place. Not expecting that kind of reaction from her once again, and just kind of… Staring at her as she passed. Jade had another laugh at his brother.

When Kyra first saw Floyd in his merform, he took the chance to try and scare her a little. Just for fun. But just like before— it totally backfired, and Kyra just looked at her with the same wonder as she did the first time. She had the nerve to call him ‘Beautiful’ under her breath, too.

So, Floyd simply swam away after realizing she wasn’t going to give him the reaction he wanted, deciding to play with someone who will.

But when he tried to attack a nearby friend of hers— She punched him straight in the face! A fire burning in her eyes as she straight up threatened him.

Floyd was… Confused. Confused about Kyra, i mean. One moment she was staring at him like he was a of work of art, the next shes throwing hands at him with zero hesitation. He thought she was a pushover— but maybe he was wrong.

She had guts, though. Thats for sure. A magicless little thing like her deciding to put her hands up and fight, even threatening him? A 13ft long eelmer that could rip her apart without a sweat? Something about it.. Scared him a little. Ending up with a bloodied nose, staring down someone who didn’t show any fear or any regret.

Floyd always wanted a challenge. But did he expect that challenge to come in a 5’7 package, decorated with pretty pink bows? No, not at all.

But thats something. And boy, does Floyd love the thrill of the unexpected. After this interaction that past intrigue he had in her before came back 2 times stronger.

It only worsened when Kyra’s little plan to destroy Azul’s contracts actually worked… And Floyd got chills seeing the look on her face.

It was so unlike what he thought of her. A big, smug grin. The face of someone who knows they already won. It was almost malicious. And it was then he realized— she wasn’t as dumb or as naive as he thought she was, either.

But when they got back to the Lounge, it so happened that Leona seemed to have missed one, single contract. When they spotted it, Kyra was the first to react. Managing to grab it before Azul.

Azul wasn’t too happy about it, screeching and yelling for her to give it to him, grabbing her while doing so.

And in that moment of tension, of fear and action, she did something that shocked everyone. In the face of danger, she held the sole contract tightly in her hands and she—

…She ate the contract.

She shoved the glowing papering in her mouth, and swallowed the thing. And it worked. Honestly they didn’t know which was more ridiculous… Her decision, or the fact it was a success.

She grinned so widely, so proudly. She had the nerve to even laugh in Azul’s face. “Yeah, thats right! Screw you, octoboy!”

Floyd couldn’t surpress the laughter that bubbled up his throat watching it all go down. The sound of her laugh ringing in his ears. It was just so… Ridiculous. She was ridiculous.

She had just outsmarted Azul… And the best solution she could think of was to eat the contract? It was downright cartoonish!

But when Azul overblotted, Floyd got to see Kyra in action. He was surprised all over again. But he should be used to it by now, he should expect it. She just keeps surprising him.

She was no pushover— rising up to the challenge when needed. Even if she still acted unserious, even if she acted goofy and wild, she still got down to business and made it work nonetheless.

And he realized she wasn’t anything like what he thought of her before. She was… Nothing like what he thought. Always surpassing his expectations of her no matter how much they changed.

Everytime he thought he had her figured out, she goes and does something that makes him rethink it all over again…

She was very, very interesting. And now, shes got his full attention.

Strangers to Besties!

After the main events of Book 3, Floyd had started following around Kyra more often. Actually, scratch that. He started following her around constantly. She eventually apologized for punching him in the face, too. Surprisingly.

Realizing they were actually very similar, they began hanging out more and more, until they eventually became an inseperable duo that everyone knew about.

At first, most were surprised. Kyra had only just started coming out of her shell, so most were still under the impression she was a sweet, mild mannered young girl.

But after befriending Floyd— all of her self-control truly did go flying out of the window. If she was bad before, she was even worse now. Freely skipping classes more often without a care to go find Floyd, trying to juggle live fish in the courtyard, or jumping out of a window just to escape some of the staff. and the like.

Late night adventures, dancing in the rain, sneaking out of class, spontaneous hang outs and sleepovers, pulling pranks and causing trouble left and right… They were so in sync, its was scary. Kyra was almost like a second Floyd, and everyone knew that it was probably best to run in the other direction when you see them side by side.

No matter what the situation, they always had eachother’s back, too.

It was strange to think they were ever strangers. They felt like they’ve known eachother for years— thats how well they’ve grown to know eachother. They were as thick as thieves!

Hanging out everyday, whenever they could, they just had so much fun together all the time!

To everyone’s dismay, of course. They were far too in sync, if the chaos around one of them was bad it combined when they were together.

Floyd finally found someone who could keep up with him, and even better, keep him on his toes. Kyra surprised him everyday, and thats what he loved. He found someone who understood him, too.

Kyra on the otherhand, found someone who encouraged all of her once repressed desires. She found someone she could be herself with, with no fear of judgement.

Never one without the other, those two. Wherever Kyra was Floyd was surely close to follow, and wherever Floyd was Kyra was most definetly near. They followed eachother around, always stayed close to one another.

Slowly, they’ve grown to not only seek eachother out to go and have fun, but also for comfort.

Platonic ..?

What started as a simple friendship which focused on the high of ‘having fun’ and causing trouble, or just basically being partners in crime— slowly turned into something much more… Intimate.

When Floyd stormed all the way to Ramshackle after a bad day at Mostro Lounge, he didn’t really know what to expect, he just wanted to get away from everyone else and Ramshackle was the best place he could think of.

He didn’t expect Kyra to be so caring. Pulling him into her arms and running her fingers through his hair while encouraging him to rant.

Kyra had always been an affectionate person, he knew that. It started small— little kisses on the cheek and forehead from Kyra to him, hugs and the like. But this was different. It felt different, atleast.

The way she held him felt different, and the way her lips gently kissed his skin made all of the stress from before sizzle into nothing.

He couldn’t help but melt, and before they knew it this became a routine for them, too.

They grew to find themselves comfortable being vulnerable around eachother. Showing sides of themselves to eachother most wouldn’t see. And they knew eachother better than anyone else did.

Simple, friendly touches became something more. The playful wrap of Floyd’s arm around her waist became tighter, and Kyra’s touches on him lingered for longer. Suddenly the playful ‘I Love You’s didn’t seem platonic anymore— atleast not with the way they looked at eachother while they said it.

Simply seeking eachother out to go cause chaos turned into seeking eachother out to just simply be in eachother’s presence instead. Whatever activity they did started to come second, and as long as they were together they were as happy as could be.

Of course, they never recognized this change. In their point of view, they’ve always been like this. But everyone else can see as plain as day, that something definetly changed.

It was painful for everyone involved, really. For some reason neither of them seemed to acknowledge the obvious feelings between eachother.

Everyone could see the way they looked at eachother, the way they acted around eachother… Everything was so painfully blatant… But they still couldn’t admit it. Even when the lines between friendship and intimacy began to blur.

Realizations!

Nothing about their relationship really changed at this point. They just kind of realized their romantic feelings after being deep in denial for WAYY too long.

The first to realize their feelings was actually Kyra, believe it or not. Which is funny because shes never been the best at realizing her own emotions in general.

She was definetly panicked about it, and decided to not say a word of it to anyone. She didn’t want to ruin the friendship they had, after all he was her dearest friend. So she kept her mouth shut and continued on pretending like it was nothing.

She felt selfish having such feelings. She felt as if she didn’t deserve him, like he deserved better than her because she grew up thinking she must be unlovable. And so she kept quiet for the sake of him, too. She thought it was best for the both of them. (<- LIARRRRR!!!!!!)

Floyd realized a little later, it kind of just hit him one day. They weren’t doing anything in particular, he just looked at her and went “Oh. Ohhh.”

Like a lightbulb went off in his head. He didn’t say anything about it either for awhile. Eels are cowards, after all. And he didn’t know if she felt the same. So he just decided to act like nothing happened, continued this routine of theirs that they’ve grown attatched to.

Maybe there were afew times where they wanted to say something about it, to finally admit the unspoken thoughts they’ve had kept in the back of their minds… But they never go through with it. Always backing out last minute, brushing it off.

The two were cowards, dancing around their mutual feelings. Unsure of how the other felt, so they decided to just leave it all unsaid. Even if the look in their eyes said otherwise.

Saying they were just “best friends” was just so much easier. It was what they were used to, what they were comfortable with. It was easier to brush it all off as them being comfortable eachother, sharing beds and exchanging gentle touches. It was all platonic, of course!

…Though Floyd was hesitant with his own feelings. He never expected to find someone that captured his interest so much… Yet he wondered, was he ready to commit?

Strangely, there was no doubt in his mind. It was yes, it always was, yes. The moment he asked himself that question he answered it immediately at the same time.

Of course, because he realized if it was Kyra, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do. Man, when did he get so whipped for such a silly shrimpy?

Merfolk only choose one mate for life. And Floyd is sure he wanted his to be Kyra.

He was scared of course after realizing his own feelings. Besides Azul and Jade, he's never let anyone get this close to him. It was strange letting Kyra in like this. He didn't plan on her, not at first at least. but now that he has her, he wants to keep her forever.

Man, she just kept surprising him, huh? He never even thought he could feel so deeply for someone. But hes so glad that he found her, that they found eachother.

Difficulties…

When Kyra left with Epel, Rook and Elena during Book 6, Floyd was upset.

Thats an understatement, really. He was furstrated, worried, and somehow he even felt betrayed.

Why didn’t she tell him? Why didn’t she take him with her? Doesn’t she know its dangerous? Whats a shrimpy like her gonna do, huh?

He knows Kyra can take care of herself, he knows shes capable and he knows she can defend herself. But that doesn’t stop him from worrying.

Throughout the span that shes gone Floyd is restless. Hes snappier, hes moodier and he cant seem to stop pacing around no matter how hard he tries.

But when Kyra gets back— he completely ignores her.

Kyra was so very confused. Actually, everyone was. This was a first for the two of them. Honestly, Kyra expected him to run towards her just like he always does. But he doesn’t.

Kyra is back, but that doesn’t change his mood. If anything, it worsens. And Kyra doesn’t have a clue why! Everytime she tries to approach him, he just turns his heel and walks away. And hes never looked at her like… that..

Kyra is a total mess. And suddenly shes not as good as keeping her real feelings at bay like she usually is. She wondered if she did something wrong? Said something wrong? Was he finally sick of her? And that was when she realized— she was terrified of the thought of losing him.

In desperation she went to Jade. Maybe she should’ve asked Elena for advice instead, but before she knew it she was sat infront of Jade, asking for help with his brother.

If anything, Jade seemed amused with her situation. Of course he did. But with a mischevious twinkle in his eye, she had a feeling he had a scheme brewing up in his head.

Maybe she should’ve known better than to trust Jade… But she didn’t really have a choice, or so she thought as much.

Something about this situation felt so… Deliberate. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it seemed like he knew she’d come to him for help sooner or later.

After giving Kyra some advice and words of encouragement, he did something rather out of character of him. Bringing into a hug, he held her rather close to himself.

Kyra didn’t really notice this, and accepted the hug with no hesitation. Wrapping her arms around him and sighing as she melted into the well-needed hug.

Little did she know, Jade’s eyes were glued onto his brother’s figure, looming by the doorframe with a scowl on his face. It made Jade chuckle, deciding to tighten her arms around Kyra juust a little more to see what he’d do.

Of course, Floyd wasn’t happy about it. Now, Floyd is not a jealous person by any means. He has better things to focus on, other things to keep him entertained. But at moments like these, when hes already in a bad mood, he can’t help that primal instict, its in his blood after all. A moray is a moray.

Tearing her away from Jade, he drags her to somewhere else. Leaving a very amused Jade watching them leave.

And so, an argument occurs !!! Its a back and forth, Floyd mad about what he just saw, Kyra trying to explain the situation then her getting mad at him back for avoiding her like the plague.

It ended up with Floyd admitting he was mad because she didn’t tell him about her going with them, but at the same time he was mad at himself for not being able to be with her then.

Kyra realizes that, yeah, she probably shouldve let him know she was going. But she couldn’t just brush off the fact he hurt her by doing what he did, shes grown enough as a person at this point to not let her own feelings go unheard.

Reconcilliation!!! They both apologize and promise to do better, and what better way to catch up on lost time than a sleepover??

Best believe that after they made up, they went back to their normal selves as if nothing happened— actually, maybe even worse with how much clingier they are. They seriously missed eachother, seeing how much they stuck together. 😭

“Home”?

When Kyra got news of the possibility of finding a way back to her home she was in shambles. So very conflicted between the place she called home and the place she felt was home.

She knew she had to leave some day. She knew this freedom she had was temporary. She knew one day, she’d have to go back to the life she grew to despise, the life that was never hers.

She didn’t want to leave, though. Of course she didn’t. But still, she didn’t really have a choice.

She decided she wouldn’t do the same mistake and leave Floyd out of the loop. If anyone deserves to know first, its probably him.

And so, while theyre sitting on the rooftop of Ramshackle she mentions it. And Floyd is… Upset. Of course he is. Hes beyond upset, really. He just got his best friend back, now hes hearing she might be going away again? For good? Forever?

No way. He couldnt accept that, there was no way he could. But before he could even say anything— Kyra spoke first.

“I don’t want to go back. I really, really don’t.”

“…You don’t? Huh? Why?” There was a wave of relief that crashed over Floyd when he heard those words fall from her lips, his eyes glued onto the girl beside him. Hanging onto every word she says. “No. Its just… Its not my home, atleast not anymore. I dont think it is.”

“I think, this is my home now.” She chuckles, eyes glued down to the ground below. “…Because you’re here.” She says, turning to look at him. She spoke in that tone that she only used behind closed doors. When no one was looking. That soft, sweet voice she used whenever she carded her fingers through his hair and whispered sweet nothings to him until he fell asleep. It wasn’t unauthetic like the voice she used when they first met— no, it was genuine. Real. Full of adoration, of fondness. Her gaze held so much love.

“…Hah, what’re you gettin’ all sappy for, Sea Angel? Thats so cringe.” He laughed, but his heart soared. Even if it was cheesey, he couldnt help but swoon with just the way she looked at him. Like he was the most beautiful thing in the world. She always said he was the prettiest boy in the world.

She moved forward, her face leaning ever so close to his, so close he could see every line and curve of her features. He laughed at first, “Hey, what’cha tryna do, huh? What? Do I have somethin’ on my face?” He joked, but she didn’t respond. It looked like she was thinking, like she was deep in thought. “…Kyra?”

Her name left his lips for what was the first time. Hanging in the air like a silent prayer of longing, of want. And her own lips met his. Capturing it in a sweet, sudden kiss.

Time seemed to have stopped. It always felt like that when they were together, but this was different. Nothing could prepare him for that— hell, he didn’t even get the chance to kiss her back, the moment felt as if it went on forever but it was over too quickly all the same.

There was a flash of realization on Kyra’s face as her cheeks flushed a red that could rival Riddle on a rampage. Stumbling and stuttering, she couldn’t handle the embarrassment, and before he could even say anything she ran away. Leaving him on the rooftop, wide eyes and a stomach full of butterflies.

Yeah. Kyra is really stupid sometimes.

After that whole thing, she ran to Leona to let out her thoughts. He listened, though he said he ‘didn’t have a choice anyway’.

“So… You kissed him then you just.. Ran? Seriously?” “I PANICKED!!!”

Floyd and Kyra don’t really interact until Malleus’ overblot. And during the time they’re in Floyd’s dream, shes hoping he doesn’t bring up what happened at the rooftop.

Confession!

The confession takes a long, LOONG time. Im talking probably around book 7 or later. Probably when Kyra confirmed that shes staying in Twisted Wonderland. (Everyone thank Papa Crewel, he sorted out her documents for her :33)

Hehe because eels are cowards and they dont take the shot unless theyre sure it’s a winner. So he waits, and waits some more. And of course, that kiss was the sign he needed to finally just go for it.

Eventually, Floyd does confess. Although I still haven’t thought of the details— it does go something like this.

When Kyra at first laughs at him thinking it was a joke, he got annoyed. He didn’t think this was funny, and after seeing the serious look on his face she stopped immediately.

After realizing he was being genuine, she started straight up BAWLING. Sobbing, because she couldn’t believe someone could ever love her the way she is.

Shes deemed herself as unlovable so very long ago, she didnt expect the person she adored so much to ever love her back. She felt selfish, wanting to accept his feelings. But she wanted to be selfish at that moment.

Floyd has never been one to comfort people. He was never the best at it, but if its her, he’ll try. He always does. It was weird, but if it was her he always found himself doing things he’d never thought he’d do for someone else.

When Kyra started rambling about all of the reasons he “shouldn’t” love her, he started talking about why he loved all of those sides of her. Kissing away her tears n’ all. AUAUAUUUGGHHHH

It was honestly super emotional ESPECIALLY for Kyra, but she of course accepts the confession and they FINALLY KISS PROPERLY OH MY GOD THANK U !! ROUND OF APPLAUSE !!!!!!!

Floyd also calls Kyra by her actual name instead of ‘Shrimpy’ or ‘Sea Angel’ during this confession :3

“Its About Time!”

Honestly, nothing much changes after they confess.

Sure it takes some time to get used to them being officially a couple, but they’re still mostly the same.

However, I’d like to think that they just… Don’t mention it to anyone. Not because they’re keeping their relationship a secret, they just ?? Dont ???? Because they’re weird like that idk and its funny to me

For awhile no one actually knows they’re dating, and one day when someone comments on how they really should just suck it up and start dating they’re like “oh, lol we already are” “WHAT—“

Floyd definetly brags about Kyra a lot though 😭😭 and Kyra does the same… theyre both so down bad its SICKENING.

Funfacts!

Floyd was kind of scared of Kyra for a little while LMAOO 😭 shes a little TOO freaky …

Floyd has stayed over at Ramshackle so much that he’s has a bunch of stuff over there. An extra toothbrush, some changes of clothes, you name it. Its probably there. You can bet Floyd just lets himself into Ramshackle all the time, sometimes even in the middle of the night. But Kyra is always so chill about it 😭 (only because its Floyd HEHE)

Before they even started dating— behind closed doors they already acted like an old married couple 😭

Kyra and Floyd are lowkey super domestic behind closed doors, especially after a sleepover. Waking the other up with kisses ….. Helping eachother get ready for the day, helping eachother get dressed … Cooking together …….. theyre so sickening …………

Even if they aren’t with eachother all the time, they still manage to include eachother in their lives somehow. Whenever they go off on a solo-adventure, they always come back with some sort of trinket that reminded them of the other.

Speaking of, they’re both avid collectors of anything they deem cool enough. Random rocks, acorns, a lost penny, you name it. They like to show eachother the things they found throughout the day to eachother!

They have this silly little game Kyra started. She began hiding little sticky notes with sweet messages or a doodle and sometimes gifts in places she knows Floyd will find, and he’s started doing the same thing. Ever since then, its kind of become more like a competition on who can find the most sticky notes 😭

Kyra gets cuteness aggression from Floyd. Yeah thats it.

^^ she genuinely believes hes the cutest thing ever. Whatever u say queen!!!!

Floyd loves giving Kyra random gifts out of nowhere. The gifts can range from ‘a cool rock’ to a designer jacket. Kyra doesnt know which she prefers HAHAHA

Kyra herself prefers handmade gifts, so she loves to make Floyd pieces of jewelry and clothing! Shes always so proud whenever she sees him wearing something she made :3

Floyd and Kyra have been kicked out of class several times for laughing too hard.

They admitted to eachother before they even started dating that they couldn’t imagine their life without the other… can they pls take the hint omg

Floyd always feels super bad whenever he loses control of his temper around Kyra. One time he snapped at her, and he immediately apologized 😭 he told her to slap him if he ever did that again, hugged her so tight too and Kyra honestly found it so cute 😭

Floyd always perks up whenever he realizes Kyra is close by, always running straight to her. Kyra does the same thing and quite literally jumps into his arms.

Both Kyra and Floyd’s main love language is physical touch!! But Kyra loves to compliment him all the time, and Floyd loves gift giving :3

Kyra always greets Floyd with a kiss on the cheek. Yeah she started doing this before they were event dating im afraid ….

Kyra and Floyd love to read together at night, though Kyra usually falls asleep first AHAHAHA

But !! Kyra is also the first to wake up more often than not, and always wakes Floyd up with butterfly kisses on his face :3

Floyd convinced Azul to add some of Kyra’s favorite foods to the menu of Mostro Lounge just to get her to come visit more often

Kyra fights anyone that bad-mouths Floyd. Floyd doesnt know whether to find it cute or annoyed that she keeps getting herself hurt 😭

^^ SPEAKING OF, Kyra literally unlocked a much more caring side of Floyd with her being so accident-prone 😭 girlie got herself injured so much FLOYD had to step in smh …

Floyd is the kinda guy to carry Kyra if her feet started to hurt while walking or if she sprains an ankle teehee

They’re both banned from an arcade in town after they broke a claw machine and stole all the plushies inside. And other things but that isnt as important.

When Floyd feels like hanging out with her, he’ll look for her around campus then just throw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes then just walks away. Kyra never struggles or objects and kind of just … accepts her fate 😭

Rambling…

Kyra grew up thinking the love she received will always be conditional. That she always needed to live up to some sort of expectation, and so she created a ‘perfect’ persona in order to do just that.

She still keeps that persona from the Prologue to Book 1, but begins to break away from it during Book 2– but while in her past she was only loved for the version of herself she created for others— it was the opposite with Floyd.

He disliked her so-called ‘persona’, but fell so deeply in love with her real self.

^^ she was very confused, yet so very happy.

Floyd never expected to ever love or care about someone so deeply, but at the same time he can’t imagine anything he wouldn’t do for Kyra.

Floyd thinks everything is fun as long as Kyra is with him <3

Kyra only ever started showing her more vulnerable side to Floyd during her character development. He was the very first to ever see her break away from the unbothered act she always put on.

Floyd was never one to let himself be so soft and vulnerable around anyone, ever. But strangely, he lets his guard down around Kyra. Kyra knows of the much gentler side to him, and she adores it so very much.

Kyra is extremely understanding and patient of Floyd and his mood swings. She knows he’d never intentionally hurt her, and always knows just how to cheer him up. Whether with a silly joke, a spontaneous adventure or just lying in bed with him in her arms.

Kyra trusts Floyd with her LIFE. She trusts him so much its ridiculous. No matter what the situation, she always feels like she can rely on him… But she wont trust him with her food. Or her plushies.

Extra: Incorrect Quotes (?)

I have more on my 🎀! twst shennanigans tag lol

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

Random thoughts:

Because typing out the words random thoughts sounds slightly less childish than dear diary

Currently watching another one of my dreams come to fruition IRL yet again. I'm not going to share right now because it's still playing out but it is an interesting experience to have it happen again quite so soon though I'm used to it by now

Will probably share the dream when its done though

Have come to the conclusion that the predictive abilities I use when walking around in the real world possibly could have been used much more effectively, but then looking back I realise that I've always been using them instinctively anyway on a slightly different level to other people which is probably why everyone always found me kind of weird or spooky

I can remember when I was eleven we had a tutor come into class to introduce us to.......some type of graph curve? I don't remember I didn't pay attention in maths

(They kept trying to put me in the special extension math classes with the maths department head teachers, but it was never fun because I was always the only girl)

To create the data set he had us in groups of three; one person was the observer recording the results, one person would be making a guess, and the other would be providing what needed to be guessed at

Two people would sit back to back with cards that were three different colours. The first person would hold up a random coloured card of their own choosing, and the second person sitting back to back with them would try and guess which colour they chose with the third recording the results, each person took a turn at each role

The average correct guess rate across the classroom was about 3 out of ten (mine was 7)

As a result when the tutor went to create the graph using our data my little inclusion created a spike in the middle of his attempt at creating a nice upward curve

He tried explaining that due to the randomness of those guesses we had made that it typically that wouldn't happen......

Everyone kind of just turned around and stared at me lol

I really wish I knew what that thing was called, if theres any maths geeks out there that recognise this please ease my poor brain from wondering

I honestly didn't pay attention in Maths, I did always pass all the tests though which was weird. I somehow still absorbed the necessary information without any actual studying

I always spent most of my time daydreaming at school and staring out the window instead of doing any classwork at all which I would always get told off for, and then past the final test anyway

(I don't know if I've ever really "found my people" while living in this life)

I typically run at a high level of personal efficiency when left to my own devices and can find other peoples inability to maintain the same level frustrating

My ability for efficiency has been a useful tool that I've used to keep on top of things or catch up on things in a short amount of time, but others can also find me frustrating because I go at a faster speed than they do and to explain to them the place that I reached in my brain 5 mins ago, it takes them about half an hour to reach the same place, it makes socialising a bit difficult

To be honest I've never been formally diagnosed but lets face it there are a tonne of potential traits. The odd thing is that because of hyper self awareness I developed my own CBT method early on in life to correct what I didn't like using visual cues. It kind of surprised me when that therapy thing started coming out because I literally thought that's just what it was like inside everyone's brains and that everyone else did it too. Probably a contributing factor as to why I found everyone around a bit, um, less efficient

(Quick shout out to single mothers anywhere and everywhere, I know exactly how fucking hard it is, and you bitches are doing amazing, don't quit, you've got this)

Being a parent definitely taught me a lot of patience in that arena. I realised very early on that she was a little different and would take a bit longer to learn or understand new skills. I had to develop very particular systems to create a particular environment at home that was soothing and safe with a very specific routine. It wasn't until many years later that she was confirmed as HF but I guess a part of me always suspected

Thankfully I was able to utilise my "personal efficiency tool" to keep us above water most of the time, we would have never managed otherwise

When she was at home she was always happy and cheerful and calm, it was when we went out that she did not always quite cope with everything around her

Even trips to the mall required a very specific set of requirements, thankfully the ice cream place or anyone with balloons decorating their store were happy to give a little girl a balloon with their store name on it to wander around with

Given our small income at the time it meant I had to limit the number of trips and be very efficient at having planned ahead with shopping lists and having budgeted for it well in advance as the free balloon meant we also had to buy the expensive ice cream, but she would get her items and then happily walk along playing with her balloon while I carried everything else. When you don't have anyone around to babysit for you while you go do these types of things its an entirely different type of management when you have to account for how the overall experience will affect the person accompanying you as well. It's a lot to have on your mind at all times and not everyone can keep up with that. I suppose that why nearly all of my family members have had to learn a lot very very quickly given her circumstances because despite knowing she was autistic they didn't always adhere to the advice I would give them on what to do, it seems they are finally gaining a level of understanding of what I have been doing for so long and why its been so hard doing it on my own

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[pndnj]

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend. 

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41-  1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something  I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t  no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec,  get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone  I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone,  it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor,  cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up,  a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't  the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all,  I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker,  i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun,  seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some,  get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice,  i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon,  this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles  in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

[ask-mortarion-the-death-lord]

some continuation i guess

this time with the emperor

we get the basic rundown, born to human parents, massively gifted, immortal, hidden among humanity and all that. It’s here where his motivation to shepherd humanities psychic awakening is really first brought up [something thats given overall more prominence in the book as well]. a much more interesting note however

now, this probably seems inconspicuous enough at first glance. Indeed even in modern canon 40k’s imperium is first actually created over ten millennia ago. However, take into consideration this little bit earlier in the lore section that i didn’t think to much off at the time

now, taking this into consideration, the implication here is that the age of strife, something that is typically thought to end right before the unification wars in modern 40k lore, is only considered to have ended after the emperor’s internment upon the golden throne, and that further the imperium seems to only officially be a thing upon the that internment. Now this suggests some things to me, two large ones possibly being

a) the unification wars and the great crusade were more so part of the same wider war, ie that the wars ‘only the emperor remembers’ were a large conflict between various warlords to determine who got the rightful rulership of the crumbling pre age of strife human civilization. or

b) the emperor started the age of strife in order to dominate humanity to control and shepherd the psychic awakening he saw humanity stumbling into.

take your pick i guess. food for thought and all that. also

in my earlier post i jumped the gun, the 1st edition emperor is still a punk who needs human souls to survive. Though in this case its not some vague need to bind his soul to the chair or anything, no, its just that he apparently cant eat or drink anything else and hes really god damn hungry and thirsty all the time. Which is hilarious and i almost feel is just a better explanation in general.

to be fair he does look like this 10 millenia later

makes sense he would need to eat unconventionally.

as well, as opposed to specifying 1000 psyker souls a day it just mentions a vague ‘hundreds dying every day’ which is still a lot but also likely less then modern emps eats everyday.

some explanation/emperor wank on why the emperor needs to be fed everyday. not much to say, just that i feel like the implications here atleast lean a bit more towards the emperor being pitiable in his own right as someone so dedicated to this vague future ideal of humanity that hes forsaken most of his own physically and mentally. 

apparently humanity underwent no genetic changes over 38,000 years that werent the direct result of mutation from environmental hazards.

@ lordsofmedrengard  early dark angels lore, here we can see where they got stuck with the moniker of “first legion” from in 30k modern lore, and its cause here in the first 40k book they’re noted as being ‘honored as the first marine chapter’. Guess it was something they felt needed to carry over... I like the copious more amounts of wine in the old dark angels chapter, and they seem a lot more aristocratic here then in modern 40k. Which makes an interesting contrast compared to the barbarian stocks of soldiers mentioned earlier in the book as being preferred for “legiones astartes”

we get some rundowns on the branches of the adeptus terra next, not much particularly new to note outside of them all being part of this larger governmental priesthood. some highlights though

the old school custodes uniforms are in fact the traditional uniform of the custodes in 1st edition. 

custodes wielded ‘lasers built to resemble the traditional and symbolic guardian spear’ whatever the fuck that means

tech priests and the adeptus mechanicus were monastic monks who primarily lived on earth and didn’t stick metal parts into and all over their bodies. they were consequently much more boring as the echlissiarchies IT department.

arbites basically doubled in the sisters of battle’s role as the militant branch of the state religion.

arbites fashion choices and the arbites acting in a similar manner of chaplains as well really.

the more voluntary nature of the astronomican in the first edition, the trainees learn how to safely let the battery drain them but it still seems to be a demanding job with a high fatality rate

they also share monastic tendencies and a uniform with the mechanicus, though theres is a fashionable blue.

included the entire bit on the administratum cause honestly, i find it incredibly fascinating. The parallels are certainly there between modern and 1st edition administratum, but i feel how its presented here just has more teeth and intrest to it. That is to say, its not just the ‘oh what fate, administration has become even more horrid, tedious and soul draining in this grim dark future, woe be us!’ that tends to get tossed around when mocking administration. Instead its a literal organization of religious monks dedicated to tax filings, school administration, rezoning and what have you. Blessed be the regulations and all that. Is there small cults dedicated to paper clip gods? what holy rites are involved when faxing documents compared to when faxing fourms? This is shit i want to know more about.

all adeptus terra adepts carry a knife and are likely legally allowed to shiv you here as well incidentally. 

the inquisitors are mostly the same, though with no mention of chaos whatsoever. less sub divisions from the looks of it too. this bit did catch my attention though.

psychic powers seemed to be a hell of a lot more common among inquisitors back then as well.

quirky inquisitors, who’d have thunk it. [its not that surprising, i just like that they took the time to mention it is all]

don’t know wtf is going on here though, especially as to whats going on with dudes armour on the left. looks like a knight crossed with an oven.

we get the usual spiel of psyker background, but then we get some interesting differences in opinions here on psykers compared to modern 40k imperium. How justified or not it is, is up to you but its definitely a shift in tone i would say.

possibly the proto servitor narrative wise? As said, 1st edition 40k readily uses robots, so servitors would be unnecessary. technomats on the other hand fall between that as menials who likely operate these things but dont full on replace them like servitors eventually will.

astropaths are basically the same, though the 90% statistic im not sure if it holds over to modern 40k. im thinkin likely but i could be wrong.

navigators outside of not ubiquitously having the third eye mutation also seem to have much more personal freedom and respect in imperial society in 1st edition. probably pretty comfy to be a navigator back then really. Aside from that, navigator families are still a thing.

space marine time!

well we get the same ‘feral world recruits as warrior god soldiers’ sortta stuff, it is mentioned and stressed that hive world criminals apparently make better stock in terms of raw aggression. Entire gangs will even be rounded up for the purpose of making new space marines.

the early process to create a space marine. no special organs, but bio-chem and the black [plastic?] carapace were there from the start, and hypno indoctrination is alluded to. Apparently this is still barely controlled chaos though. [and on a personal note, nothing that indicates it was male exclusive either, outside of general attitudes of the 1980′s]

early organization graph of a space marine chapter.

chapter markings and armour

AND THE POSSIBLITY OF SPACE MARINE BAGPIPES, WHERE ARE THEY GW WHERES MY SPACE MARINE BAGPIPERS!

iron hands apparently only had the one iron hand?

list of chapter symbols with names and colours, these keep appearing in the book. seems i was wrong on only the imperial fist symbol, its actually the crimson fists chapter symbol so thats 3 of the modern big 9 that didn’t exist back then.

we get a break down on the typical structure of a fortress monastery for space marines next, using the space wolves funnily enough who were far more normal as it were in 1st edition [and also their home world was lucan isntead]. and its got a lot, and well its all fairly interesting ill just shotgun blast some highlights

that the space wolves had an entire fuckin ship hanging in their great hall i find endlessly amusing, so thats why its there. the rest are interesting in terms of the domestic situation of space marines.

[acrobaticcatfeline]

When it’s so Dark, a Candle isn’t Enough to Save You

Word Count: 2526

TW: It’s a vent fic, so swearing, depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, no self harm or actual death or anything but like right on the edge of an attempt and getting talked down, lots of crying and self loathing, parents who arent bad and genuinely want to help but aren’t really reaching their kid, and I think that’s it.

Notes: This is heavily based on my life and my thoughts, but I haven’t gotten too bad like this, I’m fine don’t worry, this was my catharsis. I’m better now. Still not great but better.

Pairings: platonic logince, theres a hint of romantic logince in the last few paragraphs that come after a short time skip.

Summary: “Member left. Member left. Member left.” Roman’s day has gone to shit. Everything is bad and he is so damn alone. He’s sitting on the edge, dangling by a frayed string and it’s snapping piece by piece. He’s losing that grip on life that he used to have. He doesn’t feel like there’s any one who would care anyways, but life finds a way sometimes to put the right people in the right spot at the right time. Sometimes, you really can be saved.

Member left.

Member left.

Member left.

Roman was already having a bad day. When he looked online to see all his friends had left their group chat, he slammed his computer closed and went for a walk. It was early November and below freezing out already. He skipped the jacket, barely stopping to slip on his sneakers before stepping out. He stuffed his already freezing hands in his jeans pockets and looked up at the sky to prevent the drops from his eyes the chance to roll down his cheeks. His parents weren’t listening. They never really listened. They weren’t being malicious, he knew that, but god he just wanted to throw himself into the ocean sometimes with how they responded to his attempts at communication. No dad, it doesn’t get easier to wake up in the morning, its still terrible and he still just wants to hole up and cry instead of going to school. No dad, just because he's always done that chore doesn’t mean its going to be easy, especially as more and more people move in. It’s one thing to clean for 3 people, but 12 is a whole other thing. His spine aches just thinking about standing over the sink for hours at a time scrubbing futilely. His feet sore from hours on his feet after an already terrible school day. His fingers cruelly remind him of the feel on his hands, the tremors shoot through his nerves remembering the sensation that makes him want to tear his skin off bit by bit with his own teeth. His ears ring that horrid sound, the squeak that makes him want to drop to the ground and cry from how bad his brain is hurting. He keeps walking. He doesn’t know where to, but he continues.

They really did love him, he knows this more than anything, and he loves them too but… but dammit, they never gave him a chance; bribing him to get the impossible done, trivializing his problems, equating him to some other ‘normal’ kid. He couldn’t stand it. He had his phone taken a few days ago, over the 4-day weekend he had, and he was devastated, he was wanting to spend time with some friends. He also had wanted to get things done. He needed to shower, he needed to do homework, but he also had to do chores, and unfortunately, he never had energy for anything else after them. His mind swirled with deadlines, but he couldn’t do it, he was out of energy, he had been pulling from his reserves for two weeks and now he was overdrawn, and he couldn’t muster up enough to do anything else. He had been hit with a bout of depression recently and that with all of the shit that had taken place that week and his self-loathing, he was teetering off the edge and he was terrified of snapping and blowing his lights out. He shook his head, attempting to pull his thoughts away from there.

As he walked, he saw it start to snow. He grimaced, ignoring it in favor of continuing onwards. He passed the McDonalds and felt his lips tug upwards, remembering when him and a bunch of his friends had gone before tearing through the shopping center like lunatics. He remembered their smiling faces, their jingling laughter, and then was haunted by their faces of judgement and disgust. He pointedly looked forwards, trying to focus on walking. He passed his school, empty and dark on  Saturday, and remembered when he and his friends would scream and howl with laughter waiting for the public bus to the local library, the times they would raid their friends houses without warning, just crashing on the couch and playing games of all types. Lots of those friends had moved, he was reminded. He hadn’t seen or heard from them in years now, no matter how desperately he tried to keep in contact. He wondered how they were doing; what they would think of the person he’d become. He passed the turn off that would go to that park, the one right outside their old house, the one they held countless parties at, the ones that reminded him of that happy mindless joy he hadn’t felt in years. He remembered those friends who had just stopped talking with him, those people who gradually grew apart from him, the ones he had falling outs with. He kept walking, picking up his pace as he grew colder and felt his eyes overflow.

He passed the library, electing to ignore the flood of memories of booking the study rooms that they would mess around in, they rarely actually got their homework done, electing to sing showtunes on the table and listen to two of their friends play the ukulele together, teasing each other about crushes they had, complaining about the teachers they disliked, ending the excursion with hugs as one by one they went home. He kept walking and walking until his feet stopped fully by the on ramp of the freeway. He jumped over the small barrier, sitting with his legs dangling over the interstate, his arms looped around the bars behind him. He had done it countless times before, enjoying the rushing sound the cars made as they slipped by under him. It was different this time, almost imperceptibly to anyone else. The tear tracks on his cheeks were clear, invisible to the glancing eye. The fidgeting kick of his legs was ever so slightly more erratic. His grip on the bars were ever so slightly tighter, yet also the loosest hold he could have. He leant forward, feeling the wind rush through his hair as he slowly lost feeling in his arms.

Numbly, he registered the sound of the bars tinging, the sound that comes from another person jumping over the rail as well. He felt a warm jacket be wrapped round him. He loosely felt his neck turn to look at the other person, recognizing him immediately. It was one of his peers, his name was Logan, he thought. He was in all the same accelerated courses that he was in. They had spoken a few times out of necessity, but they hadn’t really been close. Roman wasn’t close to anyone really, not anymore.

He had been in fights with all the kids who were a grade above him, his old best friend didn’t even invite him to their graduation. No goodbye, no hugs, no texts to make plans to see each other again, no “H.A.G.S. you nerd ;)” written on each other’s yearbooks, just, slipping away as if their relationship had meant nothing. It was painful. The friends he had in his grade weren’t quite as dramatic. They just, stopped liking the same things. They drifted apart. Its wasn’t sudden, he could have done something. But he didn’t. he just, stood by as his friends were more like strangers as days went by. He remembered sitting in the back of the game store, playing DND and magic and spinoffs and rip-offs, until they got kicked out at closing time. Now they barely looked his way when they passed in the halls, too busy with new friends, better friends.

“what's on your mind?”

He was ripped out of his thoughts by Logan, who had a sympathetic look in his eyes. He looked down at the cars and numbly pulled the jacket that was wrapped around him on fully, relishing in the warmth it radiated. He replaced his arms around the bars carefully before answering.

“a lot. Nothing you need to worry about.”

“considering how close you look to plummeting into the interstate, and the fact that you now have my jacket, I think it is.”

Roman looked at him with a searching eye, seeing the smirk that came as he made his second point, and realizing that he was stuck now.

“… I'm just depressed. That’s all. Its nothing outstanding. I just feel alone.”

“that’s fair. Do you want to talk about it?”

“why do you care? I barely know you; you have no reason to be concerned about me. I might as well just be another number in a statistic they tell middle schoolers to scare them.”

Logan looked thoughtful for a moment before responding slowly and carefully.

“every statistic is made from real lives that matter. Every statistic relies on those data points. No matter how you feel, you are more important than a number on a graph. You have people who care about you. Your brain is deceiving you in making you-”

“yeah yeah, I know people care for me and all that junk. I know that. It just doesn’t matter. They’ll get over it. They’ll… they’ll forget about me sooner than they'd think. I’d be fresh in their minds for less than a year. They'd be sad on the anniversary for anther three maybe. They'd get over it. They'd function better than I am currently. They'd dwell less than me. they'd be better off.”

“you don’t really believe that do you?”

“… just because I don’t believe it doesn’t mean its not true. Did you know that 15 women an hour are hit in Nike manufacturing factories? Completely unbelievable. Completely true.”

“Roman you matter more than you expect. There are people who would be devastated for years if you died. I could bet there’d be another two suicides that would domino if you let go right now. There are people who only have you left, and if you were gone, they'd feel just as hopeless as you do now. This is high school, this isn't permanent. Don’t you want to live to see how right everyone was about college? Don’t you want to live to be able to go to a karaoke bar with your college friends? Don’t you want to live to fall in love again? To see Lin Manuel Mirandas newest Broadway hit? To be able to go see a Broadway show live instead of from a shitty pirated video on YouTube? There's so much to live for, they may be small, but they're there. Do really want to give up before you can hear your mom say she loves you again?”

Roman felt tears welling up and spilling over his cheeks. He wanted so desperately to just believe him. To give in to the idea that he mattered. But he just couldn’t. Not yet.

“why do you think I care about all that, huh? You don’t know me Logan, you don’t know how I feel.”

“who says I don’t?”

Roman blinked, looking back at him. Logan continued.

“who says, that I haven’t walked past this interstate every day, wanting so desperately to throw myself off, but not because I knew I had to hold on for my little brother, who has been suffering from clinical depression. Who says I haven’t held on to just hear my favorite teacher again? Who says I haven’t seen you every day since third grade with that brilliant smile and stunning passion singing through the halls, that I didn’t notice when it slowed, when it was a treat to hear your voice, that I didn’t notice when it stopped all together, when you dropped choir and threw yourself into your studies so much that you rarely smiled other than that little hint when you got good news that dropped just as quickly. Who says I never overheard when you blasted Hamilton just a little too loud in your headphones at lunch? Who says I cant name every single person in the school who is waiting for that one person to give up so they can feel like they are allowed to go with them, who feel like they only have that one thread holding them here and as soon as they're gone there's no point left in living. Who says I'm not one of them? Roman I know you feel alone, I understand, but you don’t know just how much of a ripple you make. You matter so much to so many people. Please, please don’t let go. Jump back over to the other side of the railing with me and go home.”

Roman could hear the pleading in Logan’s voice. He wasn’t sure if he really believed it all, if he really felt like it was worth it to back off, but he couldn’t handle how depressed and lost he sounded, how jaded. He stood and leaped back over, smiling softly when Logan did the same. He started to pull off the jacket when he was stopped again.

“hey, don’t worry about it, I live close by. You can return it to me on Tuesday.”

There was a glint in his eyes and Roman chuckled at the kind-hearted trick. Because he knew that Roman would make a point of returning it, which meant he would have to make it to Tuesday. He nodded, and after a second’s hesitation, wrapped Logan in a hug. whispering a ‘thank you’ before turning to walk home. If he had eyes in the back of his head, he would have seen the longing glance Logan made at the on ramp, and the set glance back at him, before he turned the opposite way.

 -

On Tuesday things would be better. He would have talked with his parents and come to an understanding, he would have accomplished things he had wanted to, and he would be in generally higher spirits. He would let a smile slip more often, his true genuine one with his teeth on display, and he would laugh at the stupid silly jokes he heard. He would have his head up more, he would notice the smiles from friends he thought long estranged and start up a conversation, inviting some of them to a mall crawl later after school.

He would return Logan’s jacket and ignore the weird looks people gave him. He would talk more freely, he would joke with Logan about comic books and their latest obsessions, he would sit with Logan at lunch, he would get his phone back and steal Logan’s number. He would talk with his online friends about how he had felt when everyone had left the groups, and hear them out, instead of jumping to conclusions that they hated him now. He would let himself feel. He would let himself be okay. Things wouldn’t get better immediately, but he would work at it.

He would let himself live, and fall in love, and cry. He would heal. He wouldn’t let go. He wouldn’t give up. Not on Tuesday. Not the month after. Not after he went on a less than perfect date with Logan, when it started raining and the highway flooded leaving them stranded at home stuck watching old Disney movies on his couch. Not when a month after that he didn’t get a role in the school play and he spent an hour crying on the phone with Logan. No, he wasn’t going to feel great all the time, but things would get better. Logan was right all that time ago. The pain he feels isn't permanent. He would be okay.

-

Foregoing the taglist this time because of how venty this is. If you would like to be tagged in more trigger heavy fics let me know so I can make a separate list.

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing.

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty.

[mobpsycho100]

a semi thorough coloring gif tutorial cause i get asked this often enough

Anon asked me to cover what I think are the best adjustments to use for making anime gifs. Short answer: Levels and Selective Colors are the only adjustments you need. In that order. I wont be going over Selective Colors in this tutorial because its very easy to use.

I went over this briefly in my first tutorial when I brought up Levels but now I will go more in depth into how to use it as I think it’s pretty much the only adjustment you need and you can make do with just levels alone a lot of the time. Its the only adjustment I’ll be covering today because its the most important one and if you take away anything from this tutorial I hope its the knowledge that you can achieve great colors through levels alone. I want to be thorough so this is going to be kind of long so... get relaxed.

Before the tutorial begins, I encourage everyone to get 3 different anime screencaps or at the very least, 3 anime screencaps with very different lighting to follow along because the last example will make more sense if you do so.

Theres no easy way to explain what the R/G/B in Levels does without opening up like 50 images and editting them yourself to see what each one does. It would require me going into color theory and I dont think thats something that can’t be easily explained, and really you just need to get a feel for it yourself. You click the ‘auto’ button at the right corner to achieve almost similar results, but I think doing it manually is better because it lets you have more of a feel for how each Red / Green / Blue levels works on its own and gives you more control.

Before I get into it, what does auto or R/G/B levels do? Well, it allows you to remove the filters anime usually have on their scenes to pull out the natural colors from underneath the filters. It sounds confusing at first but it’s easy to understand once you see an example and do it yourself.

Here’s the original image I’m working with for my first example. As you can see theres a slightly blue filter all over the entire image, the dirt on the ground is brown but theres still a faint blue color fill all over it. Our aim when using Levels this way to color it is to remove that filter.

First you go to ‘Red’ and see these two levers at the right and left? You pull those two in until they hit the edge of where the graph starts.

Repeat this process for ‘Green’ and ‘Blue’ as well.

And thats it.

End result:

The dirt is much clearer now, theres no blue filter on it so we can finally see the red and purple undertones that werent clear before. The sky is a lot more dynamic as well now that the blue filter is gone. Here’s a side by side comparison to make it clear just how much the image has changed

It might seem like it only has contrast to the untrained eye, but you cant achieve the same result with just contrast. It added contrast by taking away the blue filter on top of the image, but if you used the normal RGB levels instead of going in manually changing the Red, Green and Blue

this is the result you get.

While theres contrast, the blue filter is still there. Here’s another side by side comparison with the method I showed here vs. the ordinary way to use levels.

If you’ve been following along using your own screen caps you’ll notice the levers on the very right change the whites / brights / highlights of the image, while the levers on the very left change the darks / blacks of the image.

Thats the jist of it, it’s main purpose is to bring out the natural colors in the image. When you do this method and all the colors come out and theres decent amount of brightness and contrast as a result, it makes it much easier to work with the gif because now you can tweak the colors more easily when you use selective colours.

Recap: Using Red/Green/Blue individually gives you the control you need to bring back the natural colors of an image and remove the filters anime tend to usually add everywhere which tend to make scenes look very dull.

Here’s another example but with a tweak.

Original image before neutralising the scene using Red/Green/Blue individually instead of the basic RGB. Notice the yellow filter on top of the boys to help them blend with the background more.

Add Levels. Change the Red/Green/Blue.

Result:

It looks pretty great all on its own and gives you a lot more to work with when you get to selective colors since all the colors are popping now from the pinks in the background to the blues and even yellows.

For example if you tweak the yellows in selective colors in the original image, it would have affected almost the entire image as it’s almost fully yellow. Here’s how the image looks when you brighten it using RGB.

Say if I wanted to boost the yellows here and make them more vibrant and a little more orange-ish. I opened up selective colors and tweaked the yellows like so.

and this is what happened to my coloring.

It’s not great. Because the filter on this entire image is yellow, when I tweaked the yellow in selective colors, it changed the characters skin tones, hoodie, hair quite drastically. Theres no control over the image because theres not many colors to work with. So when you go to change individual colors through selective colors, half the image ends up being changed like this.

Now this is how the exact same selective colors looks on top of my edit of this image using Red/Green/Blue.

Heres a before and after of the selective colors.

The yellows are vibrant without drowing out the entire image now. This is what I mean by having greater control for when you go to edit individual colours. Levelling your image out this way allows you to have greater control over the image because the natural colors pop so much.

However as great as using Levels to make your image more neutral and remove all filters is, it doesnt mean you have to stick with neutral look 100%. What I mean by this is, as you can notice when you remove the filters, all the natural colors in the images become more vibrant and pop, which looks fantastic but when your making gifs is not that great because more colors means more noise and grain for when you save for web. But keeping the natural filters on doesnt look good either so what I like to do is strike a balance of sorts.

This might be a little confusing if you havnt been following along with the tutorial editting your own images.

Example:

Mostly neutral, just a very slight warm yellow tone to it, his uniform is a little yellow as are the whites of his eyes.

And here’s the image after I add Levels and to the magic

It’s a little blue-ish now. The image was mostly neutral to begin with so not much has changed but it’s fully neutral now with no filters. Theres a nice contrast but I want it to be look even more dynamic and I want to bring the colors together without removing the Levels we added to the image.

I decided I wanted to add a bit of a purple tinge on top for two reasons. Firstly, because the image already had a yellow brown tone to the background, I dont want to add more yellows to it, I want it to stand out. Secondly, the aura around the character is pink and I think purple will make those colors look more intense so thats why I decided on purple.

This is where the middle lever that we hadn’t touched before comes in. Changing the middle changes the neutrals / middle balance of the image. I went to ‘Green’ and move the lever a little bit to the right from 1.00 to .95

Result:

Everything is slightly more purple, but image is still mostly neutral from removing the yellow filter. It looks clean and the colors pop but by adding a bit of purple the entire image comes together as well.

There’s no tips or tricks when it comes to figuring out what lever does what color change unfortunately but theres only 9 levers in total meaning 9 colors so trust me when I say you get the hang of it really fast if you do it often. My advice is save about 25 images from various different anime and open them up and turn them neutral using Red/Green/Blue, and then try to bring the colors back together again a bit using the middle lever for every single image. Once its ingrained into your memory, your coloring experience will be so much easier. I hope that wasnt too tricky to follow and you learned something here.

[neuropathicgypsy]

Abu tells me he can't go. Hes a who're with kids that aren't mine, in Iraq.

He just now looked at the DNA

And he is all i can't! I can't!.

I told him he is just like my mother abandoning his kids and being a douche bag and he needs to gst his brain in his head.

So then hes still looking and realizes i hahe kids that aren't his, too. And then our kids actually are matched by soulmates. Like his kid and my kid are soul mates. Thus we are still parents of both.

So then hes all "i can go"

And i told him, "no you cant go. You're breaking my heart. I was all set to go amd axt like my mom,since you were and go,fuck a bunch of people. Probably my brothers..."

And suddenly Declan busts in this crazy almost from a bawling crying state laughter I often hear and says "shut the fuck up!!!" And heehaws laughter all kinds.

Dude it's true. Jeremiah was so set to be with me that he actually pretended to be one of my brothers. But I recognized him as being the one that was there, in a photo graph of him plus he admitted it at least 3 times. So. But dude, i could fuck my brother and not know.

Currently my brother that isn't my brother at all is trying to fuck me. And that's disgusting. Because i was raised as him as my brother. But he's actually, Doug's (and his twin I also call Doug) brother who was my roommate in high school.

And honestly I'd rather fuck my natural brother, genetically related to me than someone I was raised with as my brother. Because that's not my fault.

And i don't talk about it because it diagusts me So much but I was raped by my brother that's not my brother. And so was my younger brother.

That is why I hate rapists. My fake mom, not related to me but looks like me more than my genetic mom. And my fake brother that calls himself Socrates.

Me, a girl and a little 2 year old boy.

And my real mom knew. The government. The US Presidents, George Bush and Bill Clinton.

And they did nothing to protect me.

So that's why i will do whatever i have to do to protect someone, including murder.

You cant imagine how it feels. Knowing people are starting at your body through your clothes.

So I'm obscenely fat. Only have been for 16 years. And people stare. But I know it's not because they want to rape me.

I can tell the difference.

I still feel it around Denise and "Socrates" i just scream rape over and over in my head. I say it calmly but its the way i say it that signifies screaming.

When I don't know and i think hes my brother i think its a weird wire crossed in my brain. But since he found out, I found out hes not my brother. Its been really intense

Agreeing to execute my mother was easier than having to be around him trying to "make me thanksgiving dinner" disgusting. But the peeing on the toilet.

Serious I couldn't handle it, I started peeing in the bathtub. He left pubes in purpose on the seat.

So im like please, let's go to Iraq. Im absolutely fine with no running water. I'm sitting on the edge of the tub peeing anyways.

Which theres a hilarious 5 year old me i was gonna write about to avoid the facts of what i am dealing with now..

And i will.

But right now I just want people to know the truth and why the DNA kits are important.

And that while a lot of us stay very quiet about a lot of torture we suffer, because we know we have that right, it doesn't mean we don't understand.

It doesn't mean we don't have the right to defend ourselves or have peace.

We should not have to fight for the right to not have to b3 told we will fall in love with a disgusting creep.

I did mention previously that i had a problem, on Thanksgiving, that Denise and my dad were helping me with.

And that is what it has been.

So its been continuous. And I can't fight him. He will kill me. Because i have fought him all my life and he is stronger than me. So I have to have help.

But today has been easy, I don't know why but it's been easier today.

But it's been absolutely horrible.

**he found out I murdered his father with a porch step and my bare hands when I was 16. Today. That's why its been better. He died with his eyes open.

[studyspiration-coffee]

what subjects are you taking in 2019 and what are your top tips for each one?

I’m taking maths extension 2, english extension 2, chemistry and economics. 

maths: practice practice practice from every resource you can, internal past papers aren’t actually that helpful because for some reason the actual exam is always harder than the past papers, so do relevant questions from external past papers instead, don’t worry too much about taking notes, take rough notes but again practice is more important!!

english: type darn good notes from resources and critical readings but make sure they all somehow link to the rubric, make quote cards where you put the quote at the front and analysis at the back, don’t worry too much about micro analysis, macro tends to be more important, make mind maps or summary cards on each theme or character, write tons of essay plans before you write practice essays so you can properly organise your thoughts and ideas before going straight into writing. for your major work, categorise your readings into concept and form, bang out a first draft as soon as you’ve done the reading you set yourself and workshop from there, actually use your journal.

chemistry: write testable notes (i.e notes you can test yourself on), although I wouldn’t recommend flashcards because that tends to make you memorise content instead of understand it. mind maps are great, summary posters and cards could work as well, Cornell notes are also fab!! but remember that you could know your content back to front but if you don’t practice, you’re fucked. so split your time: 50% on content, 50% on practice. there’s a lot of content, so spend the same amount of time doing school sheets, questions you can find online etc. 

economics: understand the content but memorise the little things such as memorise your darn definitions, all the six (or whatever) factors, the trade agreements etc. read the news regularly and type notes on articles that pique your interest, make sure you’ve read or written out all the content and use that to make testable notes so you cane effectively study the content, know the graphs and stats. don’t memorise essays just know topics really well, be opinionated about the topics and read the news as I said so you can easily formulate arguments. practise multiple choice, it’s bloody hard which sounds odd but eco multiple choice is killer. past papers are important but if you’re running out of time it’s better  to study the content than rely on past papers because question types tend to change (eg the angle you need to write a short answer from changes) and knowing the content means you should be able to answer any short answer question whereas if  you just did past papers you’d only be able to answer the questions on the pp. eco is about knowing and applying content, not memorising.

that being said, I’ve got like 3 hsc tasks including trials and the hsc left so this is definitely subject to change but I’ll let you know if there are any updates.

P.S handwrite all your class notes except for English (type English: trust me).

[patriotsnet]

Do Republicans Or Democrats Give More To Charity

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/do-republicans-or-democrats-give-more-to-charity/

Do Republicans Or Democrats Give More To Charity

The Relationship Between Generosity And Political Affiliation And Gender

Who LIES More- Republicans or Democrats?

Most people tip their hair stylists, while only 27% tip their hotel housekeeper.

+1.63%

Tipping can be a social and cultural maelstrom. And social media doesnt always help.

A National Basketball Association player who has a $30 million contract drew internet ire last week after leaving a $13.97 tip on a $487.13 bill. Andre Roberson of the Oklahoma City Thunder made headlines for the paltry tip, and the strong reaction shows just how emotional the question of tipping can be.

But it wasnt quite as clear-cut as it seemed. Roberson released a statement on Twitter TWTR, +1.63%  saying he was misrepresented, saying he bought one bottle of liquor for $487 at a bar, around five times the retail price and rounded it out to $500. Roberson said he also had a $100 tab on shots for which he left a $200 tip. I thought hed be grateful for the $200 tip, he wrote of the barman who served him.

Meanwhile, some restaurants have banned tipping while Uber is finally encouraging riders to open their wallets to drivers who go the extra mile.

See more:Meet the most generous tipper in America

Some of the findings seemed to play out in real life when three supporters of President Donald Trump left a $450 tip for a Washington, D.C. waitress in January, though they were from Texas, not the relatively more generous northeast.

Dont miss:How much to tip everyone

Also read: Is this the worst tipper in America?

Statistics On Us Generosity

In this section youll find charts and graphs laying out the most important numbers in American philanthropy. They document how much we give, how that has changed over time, what areas we give to, and what mechanisms we use to donate. There are figures here on where charities get their money, how many people offer volunteer labor, the demographic factors that influence generosity , and how various states and cities differ. The top foundations and donor-advised funds are ranked by their giving. We present surprising information on overseas aid, and statistics on how the U.S. compares to other countries when it comes to donating to charity.

Beto Orourke Other Democrats See The Downside Of Releasing Tax Returns

CHARLOTTESVILLE About 24 hours after presidential hopeful Beto ORourke released his tax returns from the past decade, a University of Virginia student asked him why he didnt donate more money to charities.

ORourke, a former congressman from El Paso, and his wife reported in their 2017 tax return that they donated $1,166 which was one-third of 1 percent of their $370,412 of income that year. ORourke told reporters on Wednesday that, over the years, he and his wife have donated thousands of dollars more that they did not itemize because it wasnt important for us to take the deduction. The campaign has yet to provide updated numbers.

Ive served in public office since 2005. I do my best to contribute to the success of my community, of my state and, now, of my country, ORourke said in responding to the student on Tuesday night. Im doing everything that I can right now, spending this time with you not with our kiddos, not back home in El Paso because I want to sacrifice everything to make sure that we meet this moment of truth with everything that weve got.

ORourke is not the only Democratic candidate who has had personal finances questioned at a time when many voters are frustrated by the ever-growing economic divide in the country. One by one, Democratic candidates have released their tax returns something that President Trump has refused to do in an attempt at transparency.

Also Check: How Many Presidents Have The Republicans Tried To Impeach

Charitable Giving By State: Are Republicans More Generous Than Democrats Or Just More Religious

It turns out that the old Bushism about compassionate conservatism may not be a myth after all. In a new analysis of Internal Revenue Service tax records, the Chronicle of Philanthropy on Monday ranked U.S. cities and states by how much money their residents give to charity. The bottom line? People in red states are more generous with their green. 

The study, which compared IRS data from 2012 with data from 2006, showed that the 17 most generous states — as measured by the percentage of their income they donated to charity — voted for Mitt Romney in the last presidential election. The seven states at the bottom of the list, meanwhile, voted for Barack Obama.

Exactly why is a bit of a mystery. Stacy Palmer, editor of the Chronicle of Philanthropy, said the data only showed how much money people gave away, not which types of organizations they gave to. But generally speaking, she said its fair to assume that political ideology aligns to some extent with ideas about charitable giving.

Not to be too simplistic about it, but if you believe that government should take care of basic social services, then youre going to go that way, Palmer told International Business Times. If you think charities should take care of things, and not government, then youre probably going to give more generously to charity.

Got a news tip? . Follow me on Twitter .

Volunteering In The Us

This data comes from detailed time logs that statisticians ask householders to keep. In less strict definitions like phone surveys, more like 45 percent of the U.S. population say they volunteered some time to a charitable cause within the last year.

Current estimates of the dollar value of volunteered time range from $179 billion per year to more than twice that, depending on how you count.Volunteering is closely associated with donating cash as well. One  Harris study showed that Americans who volunteered gave 11 times as much money to charity in a year as those who did not volunteer.

An interesting pattern emerges if one studies giving by income level. As incomes rise, more and more of the people in that bracket make gifts to charity. The sizes of their gifts tend to rise as well. However: if you look at average donations as a fraction of funds available, they tend to level off at around 2-3 percent of income.

Religious faith is a central influence on giving. Religious people are much more likely than the non-religious to donate to charitable causesincluding secular causesand they give much more.

Among Democrats, Independents, and Republicans alike, almost exactly half of the group averaged $100-$999 in annual charitable donations at the time of this 2005 poll. There was virtually no difference among the parties in the size of that moderate-giving group, so those results were not included in the graph to the left.

Also Check: What Did Republicans Gain From The Compromise Of 1877

How Political Ideology Influences Charitable Giving

Many issues seem to divide Democrats and Republicans, and new research has found one more: philanthropy.

Red counties, which are overwhelmingly Republican, tend to report higher charitable contributions than Democratic-dominated blue counties, according to a new study on giving, although giving in blue counties is often bolstered by a combination of charitable donations and higher taxes.

But as red or blue counties become more politically competitive, charitable giving tends to fall.

Theres something about the like-mindedness where perhaps the comfort level rises, said one of the authors of the study, Robert K. Christensen, associate professor at the George W. Romney Institute of Public Service and Ethics at Brigham Young University. They feel safe redistributing their wealth voluntarily. It also matters for compulsory giving.

The study was conducted by four research professors who set out to explore how political differences affect charitable giving. It was published on Oct. 20 in the academic journal Nonprofit and Voluntary Sector Quarterly. The other authors were Laurie E. Paarlberg of Indiana UniversityPurdue University Indianapolis, Rebecca Nesbit of the University of Georgia and Richard M. Clerkin of North Carolina State University.

Dr. Christensen said the team had analyzed more than 3,000 counties, but it did not reveal the county-by-county breakdowns. Its hard to pull those counties out because of the control variables, he said.

Charitable Giving Does Not Match Government Aid

Those in favor of lower taxes have argued that individuals are more capable than the government of allocating money to important causes, including people in need of assistance. But the study found that was not true. Donations do not match government assistance, and without tax money, social services are not funded as robustly.

The evidence shows that private philanthropy cant compensate for the loss of government provision, Dr. Nesbit said. Its not equal. What government can put into these things is so much more than what we see through private philanthropy.

On the other hand, private philanthropy can do many things better than government aid, as in being responsive to a need and willing to fail without political fallout.

The studys authors make the case for a combination approach.

Theyre complementary means of redistribution of wealth rather than substitutions for each other, Dr. Christensen said. We cant put all of our eggs in one basket.

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Conservatives Are Happier Than Liberals

Second, a much larger body of research has long demonstrated that, all things being equal, conservatives tend to be happier overall than their liberal neighbors are. This is truer for social conservatives than for fiscal conservatives, and the more conservative a conservative is, the happier he or she seems to be. Thats not nothing.

A massive study published earlier this year, involving five different data samples from 16 Western countries spanning more than four decades, adds more meat to this topic. These scholars from the University of Southern California found, as they put it, In sum, conservatives reported greater meaning in life and greater life satisfaction than liberals.

Of course, both qualities are much deeper and richer than happiness itself. This was the robust and consistent finding in the 16 distinct countries examined. It was generally truer for social conservatives than their fiscal brethren, and the greater-meaning-in-life slope spiked upward among individuals who were very conservative.

These scholars explain in their academic parlance that this was true for conservatives at all reporting periods . This is a significant finding. Conservatives experience greater meaning in life across their lives generally, but also daily and at most given moments throughout the day. The researchers conclude these findings are robust and that there is some unique aspect of political conservativism that provides people with meaning and purpose in life.

Conservatives Are Satisfied With Their Family Lives

Do NFL Teams Give More to Republicans or Democrats?

New research released by the Institute for Family Studies demonstrates that conservatives tend to be much more completely satisfied with their family lives compared to their liberal friends and neighbors. Forty-one percent of both liberals and moderates report being completely satisfied with their family lives, while 52 percent of conservatives do.

Conservatives are also vastly more likely than liberals to believe marriage is essential in creating and maintaining strong families. They are also much more likely to actually be married, 62 versus 39 percent, thus benefiting from all the ways marriage improves overall well-being and contentment, personal happiness, economic security, long-term employment, longevity, better physical and mental health, and more.

These scholars explain that regardless of other basic life characteristics such as family income, marital status, age, educational attainment, race/ethnicity, and church attendance, being a conservative increases the odds of being completely satisfied with family life by 23 percent, a considerable positive impact given the centrality of these other life factors. Married men and women who believe marriage is needed to create strong families have 67 percent greater odds of being completely content with their own family life than married couples who do not believe this.

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Poorer Conservatives More Generous Than Wealthy Liberals New Study

Respected non-government sector newspaper The Philanthropy Chronicle collated the itemized charity deductions on the tax returns of hundreds of millions of Americans between 2006 and 2012, the latest year available. While only about a third of all givers write off their charity expenses, the sums included about 80 percent of all donations in the country.

The Extreme Views Of The Donor Class

The main finding of the research is that the policy views of elite donors are more extreme than the views of partisan voters at large. They also vary widely by party.

If you look at Republican donors, explains Malhotra, they have much more extreme views than ordinary Republicans on economic issues, such as taxation, the redistribution of wealth, and spending on social programs. For example, a good number of Republican voters want universal health care, but very few Republican donors want that. On the other hand, Republican donors and voters have very similar views on social issues, such as abortion and gay marriage. They are not out of line in that arena.

Malhotra and Broockman found a similar pattern among Democratic donors and partisans, but in a mirror image. Democratic donors are, if anything, a little more liberal on economic issues than Democratic partisans, says Malhotra. But their social views are much more liberal than partisans, especially when you look at issues like the death penalty.

Don’t Miss: Who Won More Democrats Or Republicans

Who Gives More To Charity Democrats Or Republicans

About Patt Morrison

Patt Morrison

The ongoing calls for presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney to issue additional years of his tax returns havent ceased.

Romney has faced criticism for his reasoning that doing so would violate his religious freedom because it would reveal exactly how much money he has tithed to his Mormon church. Democrats continue to press the issue, but should they be so vocal about taking a look at charitable contributions?

According to philanthropy.com, a website that tracks charitable giving state-by-state, Utah tops the list of giving, with residents donating 10.2 percent of their discretionary income to charities. Utah is a solidly red state and went for John McCain 62 percent to 24 percent in 2008 and it has a large Mormon contingent.

Blue state New Hampshire is bringing up the rear with residents of the The Granite State donating only 2.5 percent of their discretionary income to philanthropic organizations. But if you tweak the numbers to remove donations to religious charities the giving evens out some.

Republican Donate More To Charity Than Democrats

8 comments:

Anonymoussaid…

Just this weekend, in an ongoing election year discussion with my sister, I stated my experience is and has been when Democrats see others money or wealth, they want it and/or want to tell them what to do with it… I was also informed that others are not like me. Yours being the very first site I checked regarding this subject, I would like to thank you for the confirmation that this happens elsewhere, just not in my “little” world. Bellyburke

Anonymoussaid…

Thanks, I try to leave informative bits of information that are skipped over in the drive by soundbites and stereotype attacks that are out there. Sorry I have’t posted more lately.To go beyond that, I think that Republicans- particularly religious republicans give a lot more than Democrats because we beleive we have a moral duty to give to charity. Democrats seem to want to government to control the “giving” even though that actually corrupts the ‘charity’ aspects of the gift when you ‘have to do it’ or the IRS will come knocking.

Read Also: Who Controls The Senate Republicans Or Democrats

Giving Under Different Governments

A change in government didnt seem to change peoples donations of money to charities, but there did seem to be an increase in time given to volunteering when the Coalition and Conservative governments were in power.

The exception to this came from the Greens. When Labour were in power from 1997-2010, Green Party supporters gave 182% more of their income to charity than Labour supporters did although this fell to 85% under the Coalition, and fell again when the Conservatives went into government on their own in 2015.

In terms of volunteering, under a Labour government, Green supporters gave no more of their time than did Labour supporters. After 2015, Greens increased their volunteering time by 56%.

Do Your Political Views Make You Charitable

24 Jul, 2019

Professor Sarah Brown,Professor Karl Taylor

A new working paper asks whether people on the left or right give more to charity

Student volunteers at the University of Essex

In 2017, people in the UK gave over £10 billion to charity, and ONS figures suggest that unpaid labour in the form of volunteering is worth over £20 billion.

But what motivates us to give our money or time? Theres existing research which shows that we give in order to feel good, or to look good to others, but we wanted to look at another motivation: our political leanings.

Also Check: Should Republicans Vote In Democratic Primary

Data Sources: Irs Forms 990

The Form 990 is a document that nonprofit organizations file with the IRS annually. We leverage finance and accountability data from it to form Encompass ratings. .

  Impact & Results

This score estimates the actual impact a nonprofit has on the lives of those it serves, and determines whether it is making good use of donor resources to achieve that impact.

Impact & Results Score

Leftist Media And Academia Tell The Public The Opposite

12/29/10 – Stossel, Republicans donate much more than Democrats

Some liberals might argue that religious, conservative republicans are happier simply because they are mentally ill; they are disassociated with reality and just dont know any better. They claim this is even demonstrated in scientific research. In fact, one articles first line in reporting this research was quite blunt: Anyone whos wanted to dismiss Republican politics as straightforwardly mean now has some data to back them up. Lands sakes.

Some research did appear to show this, and it got a great deal of press. Retraction Watch, however, tells us it had some serious mistakes in its calculations, and an erratum was published by the American Journal of Political Science. In fact, Retraction Watch reports, The descriptive and preliminary analyses portion of the manuscript was exactly reversed. The data shows a strong correlation between liberalism and psychoticism, not conservatism. This correction was not widely reported for some curious reason.

Finally, if you had to guess who are more generous with their money and volunteering their time to help those in need, would you guess Democrats or Republicans? Of course, its Democrats. Republicans only care for themselves and their own pocketbook. In fact, dont they want to actually punish the poor for not working hard enough? Well, you would be right if stereotypes were the arbiter of truth. But what does objective research tell us?

Recommended Reading: What News Channel Do Republicans Watch

Percentage Of Us Donations Going Tovarious Causes

Nonprofits have grown faster than government and faster than the business sector over the last generation, even during boom periods.

The figures charted here actually underestimate the fraction of American manpower that goes into charitable workbecause they show only paid employment, while volunteers carry out a large share of the labor poured into these groups. Various calculations of the cash value of donated labor suggest that at least an additional 50 percent of output by charities takes place invisibly because it is produced by volunteers. Youll find more statistics on American volunteering in Graphs 8 and 9.

Charitable activity is becoming a bigger and bigger part of Americas total economy. For perspective, consider that annual U.S. defense spending totals 4.5 percent of GDP. The nonprofit sector surpassed the vaunted military-industrial complex in economic scope way back in 1993.

Real Rise In Us Giving

After adjusting for inflation, charitable giving by Americans was close to seven times as big in 2016 as it was 62 years earlier.

Of course, one reason total giving went up is because the U.S. population almost doubled. But if we recalculate inflation-adjusted charitable giving on a per capita basis, we see that has also soared: by 3½ times. Charitable causes are very lucky to have a remarkably expansive American economy behind them, and a standard of living that refuses to stagnate.

What if we calculate charitable giving as a proportion of all national production ? The math reveals that over the last 60 years, donations as a proportion of our total annual output increasedbut only very slightly. For most of the last lifetime, giving has hovered right around 2 percent of our total national treasure.

Two percent of GDP is a huge sum, particularly in comparison to other countries . But it’s interesting that even as we have become a much wealthier people in the post-WWII era, the fraction we give away hasn’t risen. There seems to be something stubborn about that 2 percent rate.

Keep in mind too that religious charities tend to have less access to supplemental funds than other nonprofits. Hospitals and colleges charge users fees to supplement their donated income; other nonprofits sell goods; many museums charge admission; some charities receive government grants. Churches and religious charities, however, operate mostly on their donated funds depicted in this graph.

Recommended Reading: What Cities Are Run By Republicans

What Elite Donors Want

Big-money donors, both Democrat and Republican, not only have more political influence than the average voter, they also have more extreme beliefs.

The outsize political influence of elite donors, whose views tend to be more extreme than that of mainstream voters, partly explains why political polarization is on the rise. | Illustration by Alvaro Dominguez

In November 2012, newly elected Democratic members of the United States Congress got about a week to savor their victories. Then, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee advised them to start hitting the phones for 3-4 hours per day. Who were they supposed to be calling? Mainly, elite donors the fewer than 1% of Americans who give candidates more than $200 in any given election cycle.

It isnt news that politicians court elite donors or that elite donors have greater political access and influence than the typical voter. But, as Stanford Graduate School of Business political economist Neil Malhotra points out in an article recently published in Public Opinion Quarterly, we know remarkably little about what they actually want from government.

This is a particularly relevant issue during the current, seemingly endless, election cycle, in which the battle for control of the executive and legislative branches of the federal government is unusually contentious and fraught with implications for the future of the nation.

Do Democrats Hate Charity

Another round of COVID-19 relief from Congress is on life support but not dead, as centrist Democrats have begun to pressure Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi toward compromise. That would mean finding some middle ground between the $3 trillion House HEROES Act, with its bailout for profligate blue-state governments, and the Republican $500 billion skinny bill. If serious negotiations do ensue, there is one provision on which Senate Republicans should not budge: a strong new form of tax relief for individual charitable giving. Its a provision both important in its own right and revealing of a larger philosophical difference between the parties when it comes to charity.

The latest skinny Senate bill would specifically have expanded the so-called above-the-line tax deduction included in the original CARES Act, which authorized a $300 deduction even for those who do not itemize their tax returns. The Senate bill proposed to double that amount for 2020 taxpayers, to $600 for individuals and $1,200 for those filing a joint return. The House bill included no such provision, or even an extension of a less-generous version included in the first COVID-19 relief bill.

The above-the-line deduction proposed by Republicans provides an incentive for all taxpayers, not just the wealthy, to give to charity.  

This piece originally appeared at the Washington Examiner

______________________

Recommended Reading: How Many Republicans Are In The Us House

[statetalks]

Do Republicans Or Democrats Give More To Charity

The Relationship Between Generosity And Political Affiliation And Gender

Who LIES More- Republicans or Democrats?

Most people tip their hair stylists, while only 27% tip their hotel housekeeper.

+1.63%

Tipping can be a social and cultural maelstrom. And social media doesnt always help.

A National Basketball Association player who has a $30 million contract drew internet ire last week after leaving a $13.97 tip on a $487.13 bill. Andre Roberson of the Oklahoma City Thunder made headlines for the paltry tip, and the strong reaction shows just how emotional the question of tipping can be.

But it wasnt quite as clear-cut as it seemed. Roberson released a statement on Twitter TWTR, +1.63%  saying he was misrepresented, saying he bought one bottle of liquor for $487 at a bar, around five times the retail price and rounded it out to $500. Roberson said he also had a $100 tab on shots for which he left a $200 tip. I thought hed be grateful for the $200 tip, he wrote of the barman who served him.

Meanwhile, some restaurants have banned tipping while Uber is finally encouraging riders to open their wallets to drivers who go the extra mile.

See more:Meet the most generous tipper in America

Some of the findings seemed to play out in real life when three supporters of President Donald Trump left a $450 tip for a Washington, D.C. waitress in January, though they were from Texas, not the relatively more generous northeast.

Dont miss:How much to tip everyone

Also read: Is this the worst tipper in America?

Statistics On Us Generosity

In this section youll find charts and graphs laying out the most important numbers in American philanthropy. They document how much we give, how that has changed over time, what areas we give to, and what mechanisms we use to donate. There are figures here on where charities get their money, how many people offer volunteer labor, the demographic factors that influence generosity , and how various states and cities differ. The top foundations and donor-advised funds are ranked by their giving. We present surprising information on overseas aid, and statistics on how the U.S. compares to other countries when it comes to donating to charity.

Beto Orourke Other Democrats See The Downside Of Releasing Tax Returns

CHARLOTTESVILLE About 24 hours after presidential hopeful Beto ORourke released his tax returns from the past decade, a University of Virginia student asked him why he didnt donate more money to charities.

ORourke, a former congressman from El Paso, and his wife reported in their 2017 tax return that they donated $1,166 which was one-third of 1 percent of their $370,412 of income that year. ORourke told reporters on Wednesday that, over the years, he and his wife have donated thousands of dollars more that they did not itemize because it wasnt important for us to take the deduction. The campaign has yet to provide updated numbers.

Ive served in public office since 2005. I do my best to contribute to the success of my community, of my state and, now, of my country, ORourke said in responding to the student on Tuesday night. Im doing everything that I can right now, spending this time with you not with our kiddos, not back home in El Paso because I want to sacrifice everything to make sure that we meet this moment of truth with everything that weve got.

ORourke is not the only Democratic candidate who has had personal finances questioned at a time when many voters are frustrated by the ever-growing economic divide in the country. One by one, Democratic candidates have released their tax returns something that President Trump has refused to do in an attempt at transparency.

Also Check: How Many Presidents Have The Republicans Tried To Impeach

Charitable Giving By State: Are Republicans More Generous Than Democrats Or Just More Religious

It turns out that the old Bushism about compassionate conservatism may not be a myth after all. In a new analysis of Internal Revenue Service tax records, the Chronicle of Philanthropy on Monday ranked U.S. cities and states by how much money their residents give to charity. The bottom line? People in red states are more generous with their green. 

The study, which compared IRS data from 2012 with data from 2006, showed that the 17 most generous states — as measured by the percentage of their income they donated to charity — voted for Mitt Romney in the last presidential election. The seven states at the bottom of the list, meanwhile, voted for Barack Obama.

Exactly why is a bit of a mystery. Stacy Palmer, editor of the Chronicle of Philanthropy, said the data only showed how much money people gave away, not which types of organizations they gave to. But generally speaking, she said its fair to assume that political ideology aligns to some extent with ideas about charitable giving.

Not to be too simplistic about it, but if you believe that government should take care of basic social services, then youre going to go that way, Palmer told International Business Times. If you think charities should take care of things, and not government, then youre probably going to give more generously to charity.

Got a news tip? . Follow me on Twitter .

Volunteering In The Us

This data comes from detailed time logs that statisticians ask householders to keep. In less strict definitions like phone surveys, more like 45 percent of the U.S. population say they volunteered some time to a charitable cause within the last year.

Current estimates of the dollar value of volunteered time range from $179 billion per year to more than twice that, depending on how you count.Volunteering is closely associated with donating cash as well. One  Harris study showed that Americans who volunteered gave 11 times as much money to charity in a year as those who did not volunteer.

An interesting pattern emerges if one studies giving by income level. As incomes rise, more and more of the people in that bracket make gifts to charity. The sizes of their gifts tend to rise as well. However: if you look at average donations as a fraction of funds available, they tend to level off at around 2-3 percent of income.

Religious faith is a central influence on giving. Religious people are much more likely than the non-religious to donate to charitable causesincluding secular causesand they give much more.

Among Democrats, Independents, and Republicans alike, almost exactly half of the group averaged $100-$999 in annual charitable donations at the time of this 2005 poll. There was virtually no difference among the parties in the size of that moderate-giving group, so those results were not included in the graph to the left.

Also Check: What Did Republicans Gain From The Compromise Of 1877

How Political Ideology Influences Charitable Giving

Many issues seem to divide Democrats and Republicans, and new research has found one more: philanthropy.

Red counties, which are overwhelmingly Republican, tend to report higher charitable contributions than Democratic-dominated blue counties, according to a new study on giving, although giving in blue counties is often bolstered by a combination of charitable donations and higher taxes.

But as red or blue counties become more politically competitive, charitable giving tends to fall.

Theres something about the like-mindedness where perhaps the comfort level rises, said one of the authors of the study, Robert K. Christensen, associate professor at the George W. Romney Institute of Public Service and Ethics at Brigham Young University. They feel safe redistributing their wealth voluntarily. It also matters for compulsory giving.

The study was conducted by four research professors who set out to explore how political differences affect charitable giving. It was published on Oct. 20 in the academic journal Nonprofit and Voluntary Sector Quarterly. The other authors were Laurie E. Paarlberg of Indiana UniversityPurdue University Indianapolis, Rebecca Nesbit of the University of Georgia and Richard M. Clerkin of North Carolina State University.

Dr. Christensen said the team had analyzed more than 3,000 counties, but it did not reveal the county-by-county breakdowns. Its hard to pull those counties out because of the control variables, he said.

Charitable Giving Does Not Match Government Aid

Those in favor of lower taxes have argued that individuals are more capable than the government of allocating money to important causes, including people in need of assistance. But the study found that was not true. Donations do not match government assistance, and without tax money, social services are not funded as robustly.

The evidence shows that private philanthropy cant compensate for the loss of government provision, Dr. Nesbit said. Its not equal. What government can put into these things is so much more than what we see through private philanthropy.

On the other hand, private philanthropy can do many things better than government aid, as in being responsive to a need and willing to fail without political fallout.

The studys authors make the case for a combination approach.

Theyre complementary means of redistribution of wealth rather than substitutions for each other, Dr. Christensen said. We cant put all of our eggs in one basket.

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Conservatives Are Happier Than Liberals

Second, a much larger body of research has long demonstrated that, all things being equal, conservatives tend to be happier overall than their liberal neighbors are. This is truer for social conservatives than for fiscal conservatives, and the more conservative a conservative is, the happier he or she seems to be. Thats not nothing.

A massive study published earlier this year, involving five different data samples from 16 Western countries spanning more than four decades, adds more meat to this topic. These scholars from the University of Southern California found, as they put it, In sum, conservatives reported greater meaning in life and greater life satisfaction than liberals.

Of course, both qualities are much deeper and richer than happiness itself. This was the robust and consistent finding in the 16 distinct countries examined. It was generally truer for social conservatives than their fiscal brethren, and the greater-meaning-in-life slope spiked upward among individuals who were very conservative.

These scholars explain in their academic parlance that this was true for conservatives at all reporting periods . This is a significant finding. Conservatives experience greater meaning in life across their lives generally, but also daily and at most given moments throughout the day. The researchers conclude these findings are robust and that there is some unique aspect of political conservativism that provides people with meaning and purpose in life.

Conservatives Are Satisfied With Their Family Lives

Do NFL Teams Give More to Republicans or Democrats?

New research released by the Institute for Family Studies demonstrates that conservatives tend to be much more completely satisfied with their family lives compared to their liberal friends and neighbors. Forty-one percent of both liberals and moderates report being completely satisfied with their family lives, while 52 percent of conservatives do.

Conservatives are also vastly more likely than liberals to believe marriage is essential in creating and maintaining strong families. They are also much more likely to actually be married, 62 versus 39 percent, thus benefiting from all the ways marriage improves overall well-being and contentment, personal happiness, economic security, long-term employment, longevity, better physical and mental health, and more.

These scholars explain that regardless of other basic life characteristics such as family income, marital status, age, educational attainment, race/ethnicity, and church attendance, being a conservative increases the odds of being completely satisfied with family life by 23 percent, a considerable positive impact given the centrality of these other life factors. Married men and women who believe marriage is needed to create strong families have 67 percent greater odds of being completely content with their own family life than married couples who do not believe this.

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Poorer Conservatives More Generous Than Wealthy Liberals New Study

Respected non-government sector newspaper The Philanthropy Chronicle collated the itemized charity deductions on the tax returns of hundreds of millions of Americans between 2006 and 2012, the latest year available. While only about a third of all givers write off their charity expenses, the sums included about 80 percent of all donations in the country.

The Extreme Views Of The Donor Class

The main finding of the research is that the policy views of elite donors are more extreme than the views of partisan voters at large. They also vary widely by party.

If you look at Republican donors, explains Malhotra, they have much more extreme views than ordinary Republicans on economic issues, such as taxation, the redistribution of wealth, and spending on social programs. For example, a good number of Republican voters want universal health care, but very few Republican donors want that. On the other hand, Republican donors and voters have very similar views on social issues, such as abortion and gay marriage. They are not out of line in that arena.

Malhotra and Broockman found a similar pattern among Democratic donors and partisans, but in a mirror image. Democratic donors are, if anything, a little more liberal on economic issues than Democratic partisans, says Malhotra. But their social views are much more liberal than partisans, especially when you look at issues like the death penalty.

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Who Gives More To Charity Democrats Or Republicans

About Patt Morrison

Patt Morrison

The ongoing calls for presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney to issue additional years of his tax returns havent ceased.

Romney has faced criticism for his reasoning that doing so would violate his religious freedom because it would reveal exactly how much money he has tithed to his Mormon church. Democrats continue to press the issue, but should they be so vocal about taking a look at charitable contributions?

According to philanthropy.com, a website that tracks charitable giving state-by-state, Utah tops the list of giving, with residents donating 10.2 percent of their discretionary income to charities. Utah is a solidly red state and went for John McCain 62 percent to 24 percent in 2008 and it has a large Mormon contingent.

Blue state New Hampshire is bringing up the rear with residents of the The Granite State donating only 2.5 percent of their discretionary income to philanthropic organizations. But if you tweak the numbers to remove donations to religious charities the giving evens out some.

Republican Donate More To Charity Than Democrats

8 comments:

Anonymoussaid…

Just this weekend, in an ongoing election year discussion with my sister, I stated my experience is and has been when Democrats see others money or wealth, they want it and/or want to tell them what to do with it… I was also informed that others are not like me. Yours being the very first site I checked regarding this subject, I would like to thank you for the confirmation that this happens elsewhere, just not in my “little” world. Bellyburke

Anonymoussaid…

Thanks, I try to leave informative bits of information that are skipped over in the drive by soundbites and stereotype attacks that are out there. Sorry I have’t posted more lately.To go beyond that, I think that Republicans- particularly religious republicans give a lot more than Democrats because we beleive we have a moral duty to give to charity. Democrats seem to want to government to control the “giving” even though that actually corrupts the ‘charity’ aspects of the gift when you ‘have to do it’ or the IRS will come knocking.

Read Also: Who Controls The Senate Republicans Or Democrats

Giving Under Different Governments

A change in government didnt seem to change peoples donations of money to charities, but there did seem to be an increase in time given to volunteering when the Coalition and Conservative governments were in power.

The exception to this came from the Greens. When Labour were in power from 1997-2010, Green Party supporters gave 182% more of their income to charity than Labour supporters did although this fell to 85% under the Coalition, and fell again when the Conservatives went into government on their own in 2015.

In terms of volunteering, under a Labour government, Green supporters gave no more of their time than did Labour supporters. After 2015, Greens increased their volunteering time by 56%.

Do Your Political Views Make You Charitable

24 Jul, 2019

Professor Sarah Brown,Professor Karl Taylor

A new working paper asks whether people on the left or right give more to charity

Student volunteers at the University of Essex

In 2017, people in the UK gave over £10 billion to charity, and ONS figures suggest that unpaid labour in the form of volunteering is worth over £20 billion.

But what motivates us to give our money or time? Theres existing research which shows that we give in order to feel good, or to look good to others, but we wanted to look at another motivation: our political leanings.

Also Check: Should Republicans Vote In Democratic Primary

Data Sources: Irs Forms 990

The Form 990 is a document that nonprofit organizations file with the IRS annually. We leverage finance and accountability data from it to form Encompass ratings. .

  Impact & Results

This score estimates the actual impact a nonprofit has on the lives of those it serves, and determines whether it is making good use of donor resources to achieve that impact.

Impact & Results Score

Leftist Media And Academia Tell The Public The Opposite

12/29/10 – Stossel, Republicans donate much more than Democrats

Some liberals might argue that religious, conservative republicans are happier simply because they are mentally ill; they are disassociated with reality and just dont know any better. They claim this is even demonstrated in scientific research. In fact, one articles first line in reporting this research was quite blunt: Anyone whos wanted to dismiss Republican politics as straightforwardly mean now has some data to back them up. Lands sakes.

Some research did appear to show this, and it got a great deal of press. Retraction Watch, however, tells us it had some serious mistakes in its calculations, and an erratum was published by the American Journal of Political Science. In fact, Retraction Watch reports, The descriptive and preliminary analyses portion of the manuscript was exactly reversed. The data shows a strong correlation between liberalism and psychoticism, not conservatism. This correction was not widely reported for some curious reason.

Finally, if you had to guess who are more generous with their money and volunteering their time to help those in need, would you guess Democrats or Republicans? Of course, its Democrats. Republicans only care for themselves and their own pocketbook. In fact, dont they want to actually punish the poor for not working hard enough? Well, you would be right if stereotypes were the arbiter of truth. But what does objective research tell us?

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Percentage Of Us Donations Going Tovarious Causes

Nonprofits have grown faster than government and faster than the business sector over the last generation, even during boom periods.

The figures charted here actually underestimate the fraction of American manpower that goes into charitable workbecause they show only paid employment, while volunteers carry out a large share of the labor poured into these groups. Various calculations of the cash value of donated labor suggest that at least an additional 50 percent of output by charities takes place invisibly because it is produced by volunteers. Youll find more statistics on American volunteering in Graphs 8 and 9.

Charitable activity is becoming a bigger and bigger part of Americas total economy. For perspective, consider that annual U.S. defense spending totals 4.5 percent of GDP. The nonprofit sector surpassed the vaunted military-industrial complex in economic scope way back in 1993.

Real Rise In Us Giving

After adjusting for inflation, charitable giving by Americans was close to seven times as big in 2016 as it was 62 years earlier.

Of course, one reason total giving went up is because the U.S. population almost doubled. But if we recalculate inflation-adjusted charitable giving on a per capita basis, we see that has also soared: by 3½ times. Charitable causes are very lucky to have a remarkably expansive American economy behind them, and a standard of living that refuses to stagnate.

What if we calculate charitable giving as a proportion of all national production ? The math reveals that over the last 60 years, donations as a proportion of our total annual output increasedbut only very slightly. For most of the last lifetime, giving has hovered right around 2 percent of our total national treasure.

Two percent of GDP is a huge sum, particularly in comparison to other countries . But it’s interesting that even as we have become a much wealthier people in the post-WWII era, the fraction we give away hasn’t risen. There seems to be something stubborn about that 2 percent rate.

Keep in mind too that religious charities tend to have less access to supplemental funds than other nonprofits. Hospitals and colleges charge users fees to supplement their donated income; other nonprofits sell goods; many museums charge admission; some charities receive government grants. Churches and religious charities, however, operate mostly on their donated funds depicted in this graph.

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What Elite Donors Want

Big-money donors, both Democrat and Republican, not only have more political influence than the average voter, they also have more extreme beliefs.

The outsize political influence of elite donors, whose views tend to be more extreme than that of mainstream voters, partly explains why political polarization is on the rise. | Illustration by Alvaro Dominguez

In November 2012, newly elected Democratic members of the United States Congress got about a week to savor their victories. Then, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee advised them to start hitting the phones for 3-4 hours per day. Who were they supposed to be calling? Mainly, elite donors the fewer than 1% of Americans who give candidates more than $200 in any given election cycle.

It isnt news that politicians court elite donors or that elite donors have greater political access and influence than the typical voter. But, as Stanford Graduate School of Business political economist Neil Malhotra points out in an article recently published in Public Opinion Quarterly, we know remarkably little about what they actually want from government.

This is a particularly relevant issue during the current, seemingly endless, election cycle, in which the battle for control of the executive and legislative branches of the federal government is unusually contentious and fraught with implications for the future of the nation.

Do Democrats Hate Charity

Another round of COVID-19 relief from Congress is on life support but not dead, as centrist Democrats have begun to pressure Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi toward compromise. That would mean finding some middle ground between the $3 trillion House HEROES Act, with its bailout for profligate blue-state governments, and the Republican $500 billion skinny bill. If serious negotiations do ensue, there is one provision on which Senate Republicans should not budge: a strong new form of tax relief for individual charitable giving. Its a provision both important in its own right and revealing of a larger philosophical difference between the parties when it comes to charity.

The latest skinny Senate bill would specifically have expanded the so-called above-the-line tax deduction included in the original CARES Act, which authorized a $300 deduction even for those who do not itemize their tax returns. The Senate bill proposed to double that amount for 2020 taxpayers, to $600 for individuals and $1,200 for those filing a joint return. The House bill included no such provision, or even an extension of a less-generous version included in the first COVID-19 relief bill.

The above-the-line deduction proposed by Republicans provides an incentive for all taxpayers, not just the wealthy, to give to charity.  

This piece originally appeared at the Washington Examiner

______________________

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source https://www.patriotsnet.com/do-republicans-or-democrats-give-more-to-charity/

[businesskpimetrics]

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[tellurfriends]

figuring out benji's license because i don't know much about law and it's been bothering me (:

we have all the info here ... sort of

[license shown in episode 7]

mm/dd/yyyy

issued 11/16/2018

dob 11/16/2002

issued in altanta, georgia, so the accident didn't happen in another state or area then they moved to atlanta, he's always lived in atlanta (at least for all of high school he has)

the suspension is what i want to focus on though

it could've happened in the summer of 2019 or the winter of 2018

he'd been with derek for a year as of february 2020 (assuming @kateis-cakeis timeline is correct)

benji said he was drinking because he knew he was gay but didn't want to be so why would he have a boyfriend? he didn't. it couldn't've happened in the summer it wouldn't make sense. so it happened winter 2018

november? december? why not (first) winter 2019?

he said no one at school really knows about it (i was in an accident in a september so i'm basing this off that) if it would've been november, january, or february people would've known they would've talked about it and speculated with who was out of school and i know he said he wasn't really hurt but he totaled the car so i find that hard to believe. but in december (late december) people would've been gone and/or distracted with family and holiday so less people would be around to talk about it. they would've been out of school already so theres no one to notice benji missing. and the news can't put a name (or image) in reports unless parent/gaurdian or person of intrest allows them to. the only way (through the law) that students could've figured it out was the arrest, and it would still be based in speculation, but his mug shot would be in a magazine that comes out weekly with all the mug shots of people arrested the prior week (at least there is where i live) & they'd be able to find it online if not. also the fact that it was a wendy's, a fair amount of people would've been there in the summer while in winter it'd be at most a couple families (based off the wendy's around me at least)

for this i'm gonna say this is his first DUI possibly second if his parents payed off the first but i'm gonna say this is the first. also to be assistant manager (based off standard starbucks promotion) he'd have to be there for like 2 years. also to be left the shop alone after hours for a date he has to be trusted. based on this he's been working at brasstown since at least 15 (legal with a workers permit). in georgia he could've been working there since 14 with a workers permit which would make 2020 his 3rd, going on 4th, year at brasstown. since hes been working since he needed a permit i'm gonna say its his first DUI or reckless driving incident & they couldn't've payed him out of one.

as for jail time on the websites i looked at it didn't say anything about under 21 but otherwise:

[image description: graph showing first second third offense with respective jail time, fines, and community service. first offense jail time is ten days to 12 months. second offense jail time is 90 days to 12 months. third offense jail time is 120 days to 12 months. first offense fines are $300 to $1,000. second offense fines are $600 to $1,000. third offense fines are $1,000 to $5,000. first offense community service requires 20 hours minimum, 40 hours minimum with a BAC of .08% or more. both second offense and third offense community service requires minimum 30 days. end image description]

for the first offense jail time can be waved with required meatings (such as AA) and probation

i'm gonna say, if he was jailed, it was within the month or within two and he'd lie and say he was on vacation like they got snowed in wherever they were or something. as for the fine i'm gonna say its somewhere within the first ($300-$1000). community service maybe 40+ hours but not 30 days

also i wouldn't be suprised if his parents are making him pay to fix the car (that's what my parents would've done even if they fixed or replaced it themselves i'd have to pay them back)

on to license suspension

[image description: graph of license suspension times to different offenses. first DUI conviction is 12 month suspension. second DUI is 3 year suspension. third DUI is permanent revocation. first offense with test refusal is 1 year suspension. second offense with test refusal is 3 year suspension. third offense with test refusal is 5 year suspension. first under 21 DUI and under .08% BAC is 6 month suspension. second under 21 DUI and under .08% BAC is 18 month suspension. third under 21 DUI and under .08% BAC is permanent revocation. end image description]

< this is the only chart i could find but from other stuff i read i don't think it's entirely acurate >

regardless benji either got 1 year suspension (meaning he got his lisence back before the show started) or he got 18 months which means he'll likely get it back in june or july (he could've also gotten 6 month suspension but that'd make him way more of a liar)

he's likely also on probation and has mandatory AA or other meatings

on top of that, he drove into a wendy's and i don't know how it is for businesses, only homes as thats all i can find for property damage. so provided that its similar to houses/personal property damage he likely has to pay restitution (what he damaged or part of it, in personal i know insurance will cover to an extent)

there's also court fees

he also has hospital fees as he said in episode 7 he woke up in the hospital

this has wildly gotten away from the point of the post and i now have knowledge of DUI laws for a state i'll never live in

point is benji likely lied about not being able to drive but with property damage it may be possible he got an 18 month suspension, he also definitely had more than .08% BAC (based on the line "i got super wasted")

i don't know how these things are decided or much of how they work, i'm not a lawyer or a law student nor have i gotten a DUI as i don't drive nor do i nor have i ever lived in georgia. all of this information is from a day of research so info may be wrong but its what my research supplied me with

also i'm aware its a fictional world and they don't have to go by the rules of the real world. comparing it to real world just helps me understand it better also the simon-verse is meant to at least be similar to our world

good day, sorry for the long post (:

[wallkickswillwork]

signal jamming

incoherency is comforting because of the narrative weve been fed our whole entire lives that in order to be palatable media must in some way be complete and have beveled, well-defined edges rather than being a mess of finger paints, bright colors, strange dialogues and verbiage, build trees of moods.

thoughts on: -futuristic anime, 90s anime and the unique sense of mood in toonami shows. they are a very good series of shows for people who are coming of age and who must slowly be forced to reckon with the industrialization and mercenary nature of adult life, as it is increasingly held captive by capitalism. there is also something essentially spiritual about it, especially shows like precure and dbz, where an interior or exterior-made-interior force is responsible for the protagonists' success in the face of an oppressive world-system. under capitalism, it frequently is the case that the entire world or entirety-of-world is against us. heroes must overcome overwhelming odds to leave their mark on a gauntlet of greats. -cowboy bebop, final fantasy 7, metroid as meditations on loss, urbanization, dating back to blade runner. this is a type of meditation that is present in much of cyberpunk, but its also not exclusively cyberpunk, and can extend in nature to non-cyberpunk works.

thinking about necrobarista and how its attempting to "resuscitate" anime, while this approach doesnt really examine what contemporary anime like jojos, precure, and slightly more dated anime like hidaske and nichijou do well. if we get all this tunnel vision for gurren lagann and flcl we can never look forward. i think a lot of the visual work that needs to be done is probably in movies. i think maybe there could be work done to marry cinema proper with its animated counterpart. steven universe seems like it gets it, and there are some anime that really seemed like they got it. i dont think were beyond salvation.

-listening to the whos "tommy" and thinking about how trauma and the humanity of that trauma is experienced and lived-through by the main character in socratic fashion. these stories are discussed by people whose actual, authentic experience of trauma irl is doubtful at best. they are great successes on stage who dont struggle in the sense that an actual victim would struggle. calls to mind how a lot of freuds patients would fabricate csa in order to fulfill the expectations of the therapist. but in other cases, actual patients with csa would repress their experiences or not feel comfortable discussing. so thats how i feel about gurus like meher baba or i guess alan watts. less trustworthy and more like scam artists. i do believe in what they teach, however. i think that a guru can teach the truth even if that guru is a liar. maybe its the truth, but the guru doesnt know it to be true, or else, the way the guru teaches it is untrue.

-for a while i imagined my own autism to be the result of childhood trauma that was repressed, but later emerged that those memories were fabricated, to my knowledge, and was left wondering.

-learning to regard the world with a sense of wonder from media like cowboy bebop and ff7. these worlds are jaded and decaying realities but there is a sense of awe at the vast, uncompromising reality. truly vast, sprawling and yawning cities and vast starry skies up above. beholding these things and beholding the starry skies and huge cities of our own planet surely stirs something in me.

-fantasy anime tends to go the joke route like slayers or else the route of "we are all kids, bro, stuck in an mmo" and i think this is mostly due to the admittedly antiquated setting of high fantasy in european trochets and history which to japanese people probably feel like white person set dressing and as they should, i mean. there are more high fantasy themes in something like inuyasha and japans history can be feudal, edo, the meiji restoration, primordial like princess mononoke, etc, so theres more wiggle room for historical works there. slayers et al is usually reduced to "characters moving around the forest" which is almost like this grand slice of the collective anime consciousness as it stands overlapping with, say, pokemon, to the extent where its one of the cliche anime things everyone thinks about, alongside high school, robots, nurses, etc.

-another thing to which we could probably ascribe the success of something like slayers to is wizardry and by proxy dragon quest. small graph paper monster garden games. the appeal is entirely mathematical so there are only a few directions that anime directors tend to run with it (goofy gag comedy if youre making a show or cut and dried authentic dungeon crawlers with moe characters instead of the usual dbz ones). going off what you definitely learn in japanese history class if youre a japanese student, for starters, there are thousands of years of chinese history, so you have romance of 3 kingdoms type stuff. or you have high school romances accounting for the various fire emblems where the appeal becomes game of thronesy "which of my characters in dragon quest land can i make kiss each other and myself", very good ground to cover as we start asking the important questions. theres samurai stuff as we already know, drawing on years of samurai media, kurosawas films and zen spirituality, art of the blade type stuff, jeet kune do in some instances and reaching so far afield as to probably raise some interesting and important questions about pan-asiatic cultural identity which this author (white) is ill-advised to answer. but reeling it back in, the question mostly being of history, and how a lot of fantasy media draws more from History proper as a codified cultural body than histories being individuated familial experiences. its true that when a work does something unique with history (earthbounds hippy dippy approach to the 1960s, undertales handling of furry culture, yume nikkis south american murals) its tended to be seen as that works "thing" as if because hulk hogan was an all american wrestler that precluded john cena from being same, or at least, embodying a similar if slightly modified niche. nobody can make a hippy dippy rpg now or something because itd just be called an earthbound ripoff rather than a loving homage. and i think thats wrong headed and how genres become stillborn rather than invented and developed upon. we have this vast morass of stuff from the 20th century and we could be developing various 60s, 70s, 80s fantasies. hindsight is 20/20 i guess. who knows, we could see bluff city become something in 50 years time.

i feel this is because of extreme stringent expectations of intellectual property laws and their dissemination into everyday discourse online. i dont really like or agree with monolithic cultural expectations like intellectual property or *shudder* advertising, but only to the extent where i can acknowledge that whether or not i agree with them is irrelevant to their all-consuming scope and the need for marxists to actively combat them. its one thing to say "x is bad" and another to clamor for urgency of fighting x, which is, if you believe what we read every day about global warming, too late, so its not important. nevertheless there are a multiplicity of settings that could be developed into genres and identities and ideologues that rarely are if only because it would be seen as "oh yeah like that other thing". people are fickle and develop dwarflike strange moods when it comes to defining what constitutes original versus hackneyed and derivative. i think its mostly dictated by star signs and the weather.

so lately if you follow me on twitter youve probably noticed im doing sort of a tweet concrete kind of thing where i post plaintext quotes from various media taken out of context. i decided to do this for a while, maybe a few weeks, because aesthetic blogs and the aesthetic style of blogging allow me to pool and channel my energies towards larger and more ambitious styles of writing. i usually get loaded on caffeine during this process and frequently watch large amounts of anime and meditate some. its definitely a process and its geared toward something hazily, vaguely spiritual but with pretentions toward being authentically publishable as theory. the idea also being i would like to make some money to support my livelihood, and i like to write, and am somewhat skilled at it, or at least experienced in kind of a ramshackle homespun sort of way. so if my social media presence is pretty boring and kind of weirdly nostalgic or else contrariwise if you feel it has improved lately thats the reason why that happened.

ive been getting very hazy and foggy mentally lately. i feel like it has to do with caffeination and lack of sleep. its important to get everything flowing properly, and sometimes depression and anxiety make that difficult to do. theres anxiety over unemployment, something im trying to remedy, and theres anxiety over theory and where to proceed next via theory. for years i was a devout buddhist in some ways, and meditated a lot, almost every day. i prayed to the bodhisattvas and copped to buddhist metaphysics, something which, based around personal life experience, i had every reason to believe was true. lately and in my own, strange way, ive begun to question this ideology and interpret it as part of a patchwork of ideologies, each one which attempts to describe a totality, a totality which is rarely if ever described properly by any ideology. grasping at straws in a structural sense, and feeling nonplussed but with no ground to run to, and im back on the boss level in super mario 64 where bowser smashes the ground to make it fall away. attempts at restructuring as this dissolution transpires only serve to create new protocols equal in scope to pre-existing paradigms. and there are plenty of people who dont struggle this much with religion and probably still go to heaven, or think theyre going to heaven, or something. hows marge and the kids. did jerry get that new promotion. mom just got back from vacation in cancun. smalltalk style concerns arising in every day transitionary speech feel distinct and very distant from these kind of hazy, pie in the sky questions. plato never wrote about the kind of stuff you see in a cheers episode. there are philosophy books that try to merge the two, but they usually get shelved in the comedy section.

so its mostly a matter of trying to absorb and contain new information, which abides in abundance, and trying to corral it into sort of a pointing arrow to direct me where to go, in my hewing, a feat not easily done. probably the endgame is in the crafting and solution of art, but what kind of art, and whether i have the tools at my disposal to even create it, is less easily answered. so for now, i guess, im absorbing, waiting, asking questions, and who knows, and who can say.

earliest memories of religion are of the greco roman religion and not knowing about the mystery religious rites but knowing about an abstract concept of wisdom and the ocean and extrapolating the existence of athena and poseidon in that way. later i have memories of exposure to christianity and buddhism and bahai but none of these things feel particularly useful to me at this time in my life. i can more readily receive a picture, a kind of enlarged image, of a broad religious landscape and some of the questions it attempts to provide answers for, or at least, a way of thinking about. the greco roman religion, for instance, is a presentation of a deleuzian multiplicity, and the monotheistic religions are a monad, but i also dont think either of these things can say the other is inherently undesireable. tolerance seems to be the best method, but also, and likewise, not dwelling specifically in any of them. acknowledging they all exist, but not being any of them. enjoying in surfeit the tension between multiplicity and monad. that there can be many things and one thing. like the album cover of dark side of the moon.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 63 - PHI - Brandon Montour

The Flyers tonight are a really tough pill to swallow. Ugly mascots that end up changing the game aside, overly optimistic Sabres fans such as myself have been looking up in the standings at who these guys can catch, rather frustratingly so as of late. With a Flyers win tonight they surprise the Sabres from behind and hop ahead of them in the standings. Can you imagine that violent, orange cookie monster impersonator surprising you from behind? Want to hear another surprise from behind, no this isn’t a sex joke: Marco Scandella paired with Brandon Montour. OH VETERAN, MY VETERAN! WHATSOEVER WOULD COACH HOUSLEY DO WITHOUT YOU! Housley’s prioritization of veteran minutes is going to be a whole paragraph in the Season Retrospective isn’t it? Yea, THE SEASON RETROSPECTIVE THAT WILL HAPPEN IN APRIL IF HE CAN’T PROPERLY UTILIZE THIS ROSTER! Ok, stop, Andrew. Optimism; remember the optimism with which you started this blog. Ugh, what different days those were. Speaking of not making the playoffs, let’s talk trash about the last team the Sabres played in the playoffs! Philadelphia, the past of this match up it that old ballad about working class cities just smashing their blue-collar lunch pals at each other as hard as possible. The world and the NHL has changed and now a playoff matchup between these two teams looks more like it would be a speed-skill bonanza then any kind of grit-for-grit hockey men party. The Sabres are building something new while the Flyers are copying the Penguins model: yeah, I said Penguins! Sabretooth wasn’t wearing pants when Gritty wasn’t even a sparkle in Jakub Voracek’s eye yet! 2011’s rematch is a going to go for the Sabres in 6, you sloppy copycats. That was fun; too bad it’s going to make this next part harder. This was the night the playoffs died. But no, you’re New Look Sabres, you preach taking a New Look at this team time and time again! How can you say its over!? Well, eight points with twenty games left will do that to you. Luckily, we’re not focusing on that tonight.

New Flyer Ryan Hartman set the tone of this game leveling Rasmus Dahlin along the boards early. Zach Bogosian and the old-time hockey alliance came crashing in like you know and instigator penalty, other penalty, whatever-whatever it panned out to nothing. Want to know why contemporary hockey fans don’t give a shit about keeping fighting in the game old boys club? It doesn’t help. At best it gives your team a moderate morale boost at worst it chops years off dudes’ lives. Whatever, it didn’t help the Sabres win this game. If the Sabres weren’t outshot each period they were certainly outplayed. By eight minutes in the Flyers were already up 2-0 on the backs of Oskar Lindblom and Jakub Voracek. Let’s get something out of the way: this loss wasn’t because of Carter Hutton. He was left out to dry and when we look back on this season their will be poetry in that. More and more every year this club is Jack Eichel and friends. Our favorite Patriots fan put this team on his back and made us believe again like Tom Brady! Ok, that was gross to write. I’m sorry you had to read that. I’m going to collect myself now. Jack Eichel did get the puck from Skinner and did toe drag a fucking bullet in there, but the period ended 2-1 and even the grossly optimistic types like me still kind of felt this crap wasn’t going to get much better. Like the cold, cruel march of time closer to death the Sabres would get scored on once they began to give us hope. 15 minutes into the second period James van Riemsdyk redirects a puck in front and gets the orange boys up 3-1. What is that? This is one of those game Casey Mittelstadt flashes the kind of brilliance we’ll get from him on the regular in a year and a half or so? Awesome, New Sabre Brandon Montour gets the play going in the defensive zone that would eventually end in Casey Mittelstadt tapping in a goal via Evan Rodrigues and Conor Sheary. 3-2 Flyers would be the high-water mark of this game for the Sabres as the only positive highlight of the third period would be Travis Sandheim doing his Sabres ten game winning streak impression and crashing the net less then a minute in to get the Flyers their two-goal lead back. Whatever whatever, Claude Giroux, whatever whatever, can you believe they eliminated Caelynn on the Bachelor, whatever whatever; Sabres lose 5-2 in regulation and give up another spot in the standings falling to a full eight points back. The Panthers might still win their game at the posting of this and they can hop over the Blue and Gold too because irony has no bounds in the season of the ten-game winning streak that saw no playoffs.

So yes, it’s not over until the fat lady sings. There is a ridiculous scenario where the Sabres win 65-75% of their remaining games to sneak into the playoffs. As I began saying last night, start cushioning the blow now, fam. Enjoy what’s left of the ride but start thinking about what’s for dinner. I’m letting my soccer side out starting now. Hell, I just posted on my politics blog for the first time in like a month. Let loose, Spring is officially 21 days away even if playoffs aren’t. However, this is not how I’m ending the blog today. No sir: we have a new player to celebrate. Brandon Montour had about as decent a game as you can have in a loosing effort on the road when your new coach insists on putting you with a negative player that is really only in because he’s been in the league for a while. I mentioned Montour being the catalyst of the Mittelstadt goal play earlier, but Montour made some good moves in this game. He broke up a lot of opposition passes in the defensive zone, more than you expected before with this Sabres defense. For all you suburban hockey dads he also laid out a decent hit or two in the third period that feels right in a game against the Flyers. He made his mistakes too, struggling in the offensive zone shortly before the JVR goal. Nonetheless Montour is a clear addition to this team and if shit ever gets better here for a Sabres fan I have a feeling #62 will be a part of it. This one just hurt, and I very much look forward to turning my attention to the Rochester Americans for tomorrow’s Amerks Angle update. I’ll be discussing banners in that one so if you need a palette cleanser check back tomorrow.

In fact, cross-promotion city here because how long can we talk about this dreadful team, if you got an eye for Soccer, I have a whole soccer blog at Rochester Rhinos Outsider if you want to check in on that. I also have a politics blog but let’s keep it in the sports family for right now. Right now: I just want you to like, share and drop a comment on this post. Let’s commiserate together because now, with the deadline past this is the bed we’re sleeping in from now until April 6th, fam. I’d love to hear from you. If you’ve read this far you probably won’t mind a conversation with me either. Reply or @ me on twitter or DM on twitter or Tumblr. If you’re only on this blog because I posted that neat little graph last night, stick around, there’s another one of those coming Saturday! No matter what you’re here for, it’s the Sabres that brought us all together and no matter how ass they maybe they can’t take that from us! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. In all the busy-ness of the last few days I forgot to mention Kyle Okposo is back already. Evidently his concussion was only slightly worse than Jeff Skinner’s ankle injury and he’s already back! I like to think fan support helped that along.

[airoasis]

MimbleWimble simplified (better Scalability and Privacy than Bitcoin today)

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MimbleWimble simplified (better Scalability and Privacy than Bitcoin today)

Hey Cryptogang Welcome to a different LamboLife video. Blockstreams Andrew Poelstra says Mimblewimble would exchange Bitcoin. Its extra scalable and exclusive. Thats daring in poor health dice up the Mimble protocol and verify how useful it particularly is. Unwell additionally evaluate it to similar applied sciences. Lets start. It all began with when an nameless cryptographer via the identify of Tom Elvis Jedusor showed up at a bitcoin study channel. This identify is genuinely French for Tom Riddle, which was the real identify of Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter sequence. Now he posted a link to a whitepaper known as Mimblewimble.In the beginning, no person noticed it, but as quickly as they learn it, they realized this was a quite giant deal! This cryptographic protocol, that used to be left by using a ghost, had the skills revolutionize the way bitcoin works. Theres some Harry Potter trivia in the whitepaper. Apparently now we have a fanboy here. Mimblewimble is absolutely a spell in Harry Potter, that ties the targets tongue robbing him of his capability to converse obviously. As a consequence, the source of peoples misconception that Mimblewimble is in general just a privateness protocol, however thats now not precisely right. It is peculiarly a scaling solution and secondarily a privateness solution. Thats due to the fact the scaling advantage is higher than the privacy benefit in Mimblewimbles case.So how does Mimblewimble scale? To start with, theres specific approaches of scaling. Lets discover them first. The blockchain conceptually appears like this: a series of blocks that represents a history of transactions. Bitcoin plans to scale through offloading most of its trasactions offchain with its 2nd layer, the Lightning community. For my part, that is the most effective scaling solution and is in most cases above any others. Unluckily, in these days it is nonetheless unstable and might have an extended approach to go before its capable for mass adoption. Bitcoin money however, has an immediate resolution by means of growing the block measurement. But theres additionally a third alternative. Which is to compress the transaction information. Thats what Mimblewimble does. Alternatively of constructing bigger a blocker, it makes the contents within smaller. You see, BTC has accelerated its blocksize earlier than, however the community has agreed that doing this without end is catastrophic. Why? Take a look at this graph. The fee of develop of Bitcoins blockchain shouldn’t be linear, its exponential. Presently now we have about 200000 megabytes; or 200 gigs, which is the amount of difficult force area you have to established your own full node, supplied that your hardware has ample bandwidth aid and computing vigour.As time goes via and historical past unfolds, storing this history turns into more and more stressful; because the memory quintessential to retailer the data in every block also needs to expand, as well as the computing energy wanted to validate them. If all we do is expand the blocksize endlessly, we are practically stopping the common man from being able to run a full node, due to the fact that of the excessive fees required to set it up. And thus, permit mining cartels and monopolies to have various influence, hurting decentralization. Bitcoin money is doing this block dimension develop just a little conservatively, however Bitcoin SV went all out, which is most likely insane. Now whats intriguing with Mimblewimble, is that it permits Bitcoins transaction historical past to be compacted and swiftly validated with normal computing hardware even after a long time of chain operation. The outcome? A faster and extra scalable blockchain! You might actually start up a full node in your clever telephone, and just about immediately synchronize your full node to the blockchain.Mimblewimbles privacy aspects are derived from distinctive cryptographic innovations. For simplicitys sake unwell best incorporate the major components. First is confidential Transactions. This allows the senders to encrypt the quantity of crypto they need to ship utilizing what you call blinding motives. Again for simplicity, blinding reasons are comfortably random numbers that mess up the inputs and outputs and make it appear complicated for an outside observer. So in this scenario, handiest the sender and receiver are conscious of the amount. Nonetheless, 0.33 events can still make sure that the transaction is valid, by way of evaluating the number of inputs and outputs; but as far as they’re can see, its simply uniform random things went in, and uniform random things went out.And if both inputs and outputs are the same, then the transaction is legitimate. This process ensures that no bitcoins have been constituted of nothing. But, this isn’t adequate. There is the possibility of an omniscient observersomeone who has the assets to do a graph analysis of Mimbles transaction historical past, feel CIA or a chinese hacker army. If that’s the case, they might still discover some information you dont need them to grasp. Fortunate for us, Mimble additionally leverages another cryptographic innovation referred to as CoinJoin. Coinjoin is a mechanism through which transactions sent by means of a couple of spenders are combined to type a single transaction. Now for the reason that of this, its problematic for an outsider to examine which fee was once intended for whom, including even more confusion and misdirection So now you probably questioning.How will we ensure that nobody is cheating? What form of consensus model does Mimble have? Good, it’s particularly exceptional from Bitcoins consensus mechanism. You see, with Bitcoins Proof-of-work algorithm, its extra intricate; the whole blockchain have got to be downloaded, the historical past of a transaction outputs must be analysed; all to ensure validity. This takes up numerous time, and is quite tough to scale, for that reason, the need for a 2d layer resolution like Lightning.However with Mimble, theres a easier technique to preserve the integrity of the process. Mimblewimble blocks only encompass a list of inputs, a record of outputs, and signature information. This offers tremendous area savings in blocks, in view that other transaction information not need to be stored, handiest inputs and outputs. And via subtracting the complete inputs from the complete outputs, that is to say guaranteeing that the change is zero, the blockchain is validated, on account that no new coins had been created out of skinny air. With innovation, theres continually matters that have to be extended on. In any other case, there wouldnt be growth. Mimblewimble has probably the most nice privacy aspects, but its not really best.Even with all its privateness ways, Mimble will not be one hundred percent anonymous. Theres nonetheless the very small threat that some whale or multi million buck organization can override your anonymity, will have to they desperately wish to. However its no longer some thing thats relatively anticipated to happen customarily or ever relatively. You see, the privateness and scalability aspects of Mimble are intertwined. The more it could scale, the extra users it could possibly control. And the extra customers, the improved the privacy. Weve already situated that private transactions are usually not sufficient. And coinjoin needs more transaction quantity to be strong.With low transaction volume, its no longer too complex to circumvent Coinjoins privateness. In poor health use Assassins Creed as an analogy here so its more fun. Within the AC franchise, The Assassins have Three major ideas, which can be 1. Stay your blade from the flesh of the harmless. 2. Under no circumstances compromise the brotherhood and 3. Hide in simple sight, which is what well focal point on. What this almost means is that as an assassin, one will have to recognize the right way to combo within the crowd; to turn out to be anonymous.The key phrase here is crowd. If you want to be hidden, you must get lost. You cant be the one individual in a area carrying a hood. Thats now not serving to you in any way. The Templars will freaking kill you. Scaling drives privacy in virtually every science. Comfortably put, the larger the gang, the less difficult to get lost. And that applies primarily to Mimblewimble, afterall, it is one among Bitcoins scaling resolution. Regrettably its now not fairly there but. This has something to do with what you name rangeproofs. Variety Proofs are present in all cryptocurrencies with exclusive Transactions such Monero or Zcash. Its no longer simply Mimble. Variety Proofs are primary considering that it prevents the blockchain from having poor outputs.You dont want a poor Bitcoin, or a bad Monero. So this Rangeproofs is critical for Mimblewimble to work competently. But rangeproofs are also hefty to confirm, atleast for in these days. Theyre working on it, undoubtedly, but, lowering the timeframe for verification, as good as the scale of this rangeproofs, is whatever that they need to handle, before Mimble could reach a level where customers can readily, run a full node on their smartphone. Its known as bulletproofs, but were not gonna speak about that correct now. Also, Mimblewimble does now not support scripting. Scripting is implemented in Bitcoin, and its very useful. It makes it possible for developed points comparable to multisignature, cozy pass-chain trading, excessive frequency trading, and lots of different tricky stuff.However, Mimble has particularly evolved crypto magic to work around this. Many smart contracts in Bitcoin that require a script may also be accomplished utilising the residences of what we call Elliptic Curve Cryptography. Its not and in most cases in no way gonna be as excellent as having a Bitcoin Script although. Additionally, you cant easily merge the Mimble protocol with Bitcoin. Its no longer really an targeted fit. However, you can put into effect it as a sidechain or make a brand new implementation. Mimblewimble is a protocol similar to Bitcoin. Now Bitcoin has 2 predominant implementations. Bitcoin Core for BTC and Bitcoin ABC for Bitcoin money. Both use the equal protocol however they are one of a kind implementations. Mimble has 2 implementations known as Grin and Beam. Both went live sometime in January. The most important change between Grin and BEAM is their general group or governance procedure.BEAMs governance mannequin is extra manufacturer-like structured, while Grin is extra of an open-supply neighborhood with contributors independently engaged on the task by way of donations. Honestly I lean towards Grin extra, being open supply and community-pushed and all but Im also partial to Beams VC-funded startup method. Im intently keeping an eye fixed on both. But I nonetheless dont any of those is a alternative for Bitcoin. They are their possess thing. Damn it feels good to be in crypto. Thats it for todays video. Thanks for staring at. Im so blissful to finally add this. It took particularly a even as to completely clutch how it works hopefully my time was once valued at it and also you discovered some thing from me.In the event you loved be sure to like and if you happen to havent already, subscribe. See you on the flipside! .