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leossmoonn · 3 years ago

Text

Accidentally in Love || Part 1

masterlist || Part Two

pairing - klaus mikaelson x fem!reader

type - fluff, angst

note / request - requested by @overratedrqmanccer “i'd like a fic where, the mikaelsons are investigating something weird going on with the witches in new orleans. klaus discovers that this witch group has created a tribrid for some evil reason and he decides to take her away, so he can protect her. all the while, falling in love with her in the process. (in this hope was never born so theres never been a tribrid.)” i dont know much about tribrids or anything bc i never watched legacies or much of the originals, but i did some research so i hope that’s enough lol. i did not research the timeline of when things happened in the show tho, only stuff about tribrids so i apologize. enjoy!

summary - the mikaelson family protects you as you are a new tribrid. one particular hybrid ends up falling in love with you

warnings / includes - mild language, violence, a little suggestive. hayley is your bsf and rebekah is basically your sister from another mister, your not a helpless little tribrid in this, youre a badass, stubborn, and hot tribrid hehe

————

*gif isn’t mine*

“i thought we had shut them down,” klaus frowned. “witches always have their ways,” marcel sighed.

“why aren’t you worried about this! they are killing more innocent people than i have ever!” klaus exclaimed.

“ha - okay. klaus, the only people they are killing are vampires, and they’re hardly innocent,” marcel stated.

“i don’t care. i built this damn city, and i will be damned if someone is undermining me!” klaus roared.

“need i remind you that i continued your work and kept this city alive. so, really, if anyone is going to be undermined, it’s me,” marcel shrugged.

“god, you are impossible!”

“look, man, i’m happy with my life. i got the best girl in the world - your sister. what else do i need?” marcel asked rhetorically.

“oh, i don’t know, maybe -”

“klaus, if you’re so worried about what the witches are doing, then why don’t you check it out? stop dragging me into all your shit, man. you came to take back this town? then do it. show me that you can de-thrown me without confiding in me,” marcel smiled sweetly.

klaus balled his hands into fists, barring his teeth. marcel chuckled, starting to walk backwards to exit the mikaelson mansion. klaus watched with golden eyes as marcel exited the house.

“kol! elijah!” klaus yelled.

“what? your boyfriend marcel leave you all alone?” kol smirked as he exited his room.

“ha-ha,” klaus deadpanned. “where is elijah?”

“probably somewhere with hayley,” kol shrugged. “well, help me gather him and rebekah,” klaus ordered.

“why, where are we going?” kol asked. “we are going to find out what those witches are doing in the french quarter,” klaus explained.

“should i come with an empty stomach?” kol smiled.

“definitely,” klaus smirked. “meet me at the quarter in ten minutes.”

“aye, aye,” kol nodded, running out of the mansion.

klaus stormed out of his mansion, constructing a plan in his head as to what him and his family would do to the french quarter coven. his three siblings met him in the middle of the french quarter.

“what the hell do you want, nik?” rebekah frowned.

“what a nice hello,” klaus smiled. “i had a night with marcel planned!” rebekah exasperated.

“well, you two have your whole lives to have a night together. family is more important, sister,” klaus stated matter-of-factly.

“marcel is family!”

“not until you share his last name, he’s not.”

“why do you have to he such an ass. you practically raised him!”

“he’s still not my family biologically -”

“stop your fighting, please. you’re going to wake up the neighborhood,” elijah appeared.

“what a nice welcome,” klaus said.

“great, now we have everyone. can we get on with it, then?” rebekah asked.

“yes, of course,” klaus nodded. “i have gathered you all here today because of the french quarter coven. they -”

“oh, this again!” rebekah clicked her tongue. “i thought we were done with them. everything with davina and hayley gave me a life-long headache.”

“yes, again, and for good reason. i believe they are up to no good,” klaus explained.

“they are always up to no good, nik. that’s just how it works,” rebekah sighed.

“no, you don’t understand,” klaus shook his head. “they are taking vampires into their houses and killing them.”

“not too strange,” kol stated. “they are even taking humans! and none of them come back. i heard they are taking a few werewolves, too,” klaus added.

“you heard, or you saw?” rebekah raised a brow.

“heard, but that’s besides the point. something is going on down there, and it is our duty to figure it out.”

“it’s more your duty then ours, brother,” elijah spoke.

“what?” klaus questioned. “we are done with you pulling us into your chaos. we moved back here to live a better life, to live a life. we’re too old for your mischief and mayhem games,” elijah explained.

“are you kidding me?” klaus laughed cynically. “we said that we would stay together and help each other out whenever one of us needed it. forever and always, as i recall.”

the three mikealson’s looked at each other, knowing that their brother was right. even in the most unfortunate times, they always had each other’s backs.

“fine. we’ll take a look, but just for tonight,” rebekah said.

“thank you,” klaus looked into each of their eyes.

“well, let’s get on with it, shall we?” kol hummed.

klaus nodded and let them follow him to the coven. they broke down the door to the deveraux’s shop, running in quickly to scan the inside.

“must be downstairs,” kol said.

the four flew to the basement where they could hear the witchcraft. they spotted the witches muttering latin near a cage where an unfamiliar figure sat howling in pain.

“what the hell?” rebekah muttered. “looks like you were right, niklaus. congratulations,” elijah said, startled by the sight.

“what are they doing?” kol whispered. “let’s find out,” klaus said, stepping out of the shadows and revealing himself.

“stop!” one of the witches exclaimed, sensing the family.

they all turned around, horrified and angry that they had been found and interrupted.

“what are you doing? i thought you knew witchcraft was banned in new orleans,” klaus said.

“marcel lifted that ban, remember?” one of the witches stated.

“right, but that was when he was in charge. i am now, and i say that witchcraft is banned now. forever,” klaus grinned.

“you aren’t in charge, klaus. marcel still is, and he will be until the day he dies,” the same witch said. she stood proud and tall, showing no fear.

“you so brave. it’s admirable, i must admit. but that must come to an end,” klaus sighed. he then looked to rebekah, eyes glowing red as he spoke. “ladies first?”

rebekah barred her fangs, launching herself at the witch and digging into her neck. the rest of the coven started to cast spells, trying to make it harder for the mikealson’s to attack, but it was no use. before they could even mutter a word, kol had already tore through half of them. only two remained, saved for klaus and elijah.

“sorry, loves. looks like your time has ended,” klaus’s licked his lips maliciously.

“we need to hide her!” one of the witches whispered to the other.

“how?” the other asked.

“what are you two babbling on about?” kol asked.

the witches said nothing to the vampires, ignoring them as they started to cast a spell.

“not on my watch!” klaus yelled, rushing over to them and taking one of them by the neck.

“klaus! wait!” rebekah shouted.

klaus threw the dead witch to the ground, blood spilling out on the floor from her neck. he followed rebekah’s pointed arm to the cage. there he saw you. you were crying and screaming in pain, bones were crackling, and your eyes were changing from gold and red.

“what the hell -?” kol muttered.

“she’s a tribrid,” the last witch said.

klaus’s head snapped to her, shock washing over his face. “wha-what’s a tribrid?”

“cross between a-a witch, vampire, and-and a werewolf,” the witch gasped. she put her hands up to her bleeding neck, choking on her own blood.

“how?! what the hell!” klaus roared. “have fun taking care of her,” the witch remarked before taking her last breath.

the mikaelson’s watched as the witch died, looking back at you who was shifting from werewolf to vampire.

“oh my -” elijah gasped. he walked closer to the cage, bending down to take a closer look at you. “what did they do to you?”

“let’s go before more witches find us,” kol urged.

klaus stared at you, eyes watering at the sight of you hurting. he knew he should leave you to die. mikaelson’s didn’t clean up messes, or help people that couldn’t help them back. but something about you tugged on his dead heart strings. maybe it was because you reminded him of himself when he was transitioning into a hybrid, or the abuse he had suffered from his father and a few witches back in the day, but he wanted to free you of that cage and help you. plus, you could become a great asset.

“no. we’re taking her with us,” klaus said, going over to your cage and breaking the lock.

“get away!” you shrieked.

“no, no, it’s okay. i’m here to help,” klaus spoke softly.

“i-i’m going to hurt you!” you shook your head furiously. “please, did you not just see what i did to those witches? you couldn’t hurt me if you tried,” klaus chuckled. he tried his hand out to you, but you put your hands up to him, saying a spell in your head that sent him flying across the room.

“ha!” kol squeaked.

klaus growled, getting up and taking kol my the collar, throwing him against the wall before approaching you again. as soon as he laid eyes on you, his anger diminished.

“okay, i won’t touch you, but you have to let me help you,” klaus said.

“how are you going to help me?” you asked.

“well, i’m a werewolf and vampire myself. i can help you with feeding, control, and transforming at your own will. i assume you have the witchcraft figured out,” klaus joked.

“is he… laughing?” rebekah muttered to her brothers.

“what is wrong with him? do you think those witches did something to him before he died?” kol asked.

“he’s in love,” elijah sighed with a fond smile.

“no way,” kol snorted. “more like obsessed,” rebekah gagged.

“he’s looking at her the way you look at marcel, and the way you look at davina. it’s time for him to find someone,” elijah stated.

“someone broken and damaged like him? what a cliché,” rebekah rolled her eyes.

“meet our new member of the family: y/n l/n. former member of the sunset coven from indiana,” klaus grinned at his family as you stood by him.

“sunset coven? a little basic if you ask me,” kol grumbled.

rebekah nudged him him the arm, turning back to you.

“nice to meet you, y/n. i’m rebekah, their sister,” she smiled at you.

“nice to meet you, too,” you smiled back.

“and i’m,”

“kol, and you’re elijah. your other sister’s name is freya and your dead brothers’s names are finn and henrick. your mother and father’s names are mikael and esther, but klauus’s father is ansel. my coven, as every other coven, has studied your family for centuries. it’s amazing to finally meet you. your mother used to be greatly respected in the grimoires,” you stated.

“what happened that she isn’t respected anymore?” kol asked.

“she made you all into vampires,” you smirked.

“well, you’re a vampire now, so you’re not any better than the rest of us,” kol stated.

your eyes glowed red as anger flowed through your veins. you held up your hands, muttering an incantation that set him on fire. kol spun around, putting the fire out himself.

“what is wrong with you?!” kol whined.

“i’m not a vampire,” you hissed. “sorry to inform you, love, but you are,” klaus sighed.

“don’t call me love,” you glared at him. klaus grinned, “feisty. perfect for my plan.”

“what plan?” elijah asked. “i’ll tell you later. now, let’s go, y/n. there’s much to teach you.” klaus grabbed your hand, but you kicked him in the shin.

“if you ever try to grab me again, i will decapitate you,” you threatened.

“i’d like to see you try,” klaus remarked and walked away.

kol and elijah followed him, kol looking back at you and sending you a wink. you grimaced, flashing him a glare.

“pig,” you grumbled.

“you seem like you’re very stubborn and badass,” rebekah appeared beside you.

“you am indeed both. why?” you questioned. “i would like to be your friend,” rebekah proposed.

“why? you’re the most manipulative and selfish,” you stated.

rebekah’s jaw dropped, but she quickly recovered. “while that is true, i think we could be best friends. plus, my brother has plans for you, and i think it would benefit both of us if we got along.”

“what kind of plans does he have?” you asked.

“well, once he gets you trained, he’s then going to train you again to be his personal assassin, scheming partner, or blood bag deliverer.”

“no thanks to all of those. i’m not someone to chain up.” “better change that attitude, y/n. once klaus has set his eyes on you, he’ll never let you go.”

————

“go for the carotid when you want a clean and full feeding,” klaus instruction.

“i know how to fed, niklaus,” you rolled your eyes.

“oh, really? because last time -”

“last time you were stressing me out! i’ve only been doing this for two days,” you frowned.

“two days? you’ve been training for two weeks!”

“no. i’ve been held hostage in your mansion for two weeks, and you’ve only let me outside two of those fourteen days!” “for your protection.”

“i don’t need protection. mind you, i was an adult witch before i got turned into a monster.”

“being a tribrid does not turn you into a monster. if anything, you’re a beauty! you are strong, fast, immortal, and you were able to keep your witch powers,” klaus listed.

“whoop-dee-do,” you rolled your eyes. “okay. i’m going to feed on her.”

“remember what i said, don’t -”

“shut up, grandpa,” you remarked, stalking her to the woman who was on her phone. you crept up behind her, getting ready to grab her by the throat, but the little girl who approached her stopped you. you watched as the woman picked up the girl, kissing her cheek.

“momma!” the little girl giggled.

you then backed away, sneaking back into the alley.

“what was that?” klaus hissed. you faced him, glaring. “i’m not going to kill her.” 

“why? because of the child? jesus, you are soft.”

“i’m not soft for being not wanting a child to grow up without a mother,” you spat.

“yes, you are. you need to turn off your humanity and focus.”

“hell no. my humanity is what makes me different from the rest of you. i’ll just go back to the hospital and steal some more blood bags.” you turned to walk away, but klaus appeared in front of you.

“you can’t run away from this forever,” klaus stated. “you have to learn how to feed and how to control yourself.”

“i can do that with the bags, thanks.” you began to move away again, but klaus put his hand on your forearm. he tugged you back, pulling you flush against him.

“i told you to not touch me!” you yelled. you muttered an incantation, making klaus take his hand off of you and putting both of his hands on his ears.

he screamed in pain, falling down to his knees. you held your hand up to him, making it so his pain worsened. your spell made it so there was a high whistle sounding in his ears, harmful to dogs like him.

“stop, please! i’m sorry!” klaus begged.

you stopped at once, putting your foot on his arm.

“if you want me to comply and be in your little band of mischief, then you need to let me do things my way. and since you’re never going to let me go, you’re going to have to respect my rules and my way of doing things. otherwise i’m going to make your life a living hell, forever.”

“fine, fine. get your foot off of me!” he exclaimed.

you dug you foot into him once more before stepping off of him.

“i’m going back to the mansion. don’t bother me for the rest of the day,” you spat, strutting away.

klaus glowered at your retreating figure, getting up on his feet. he sighed, eyes softening as you turned the corner. he rested up against the brick wall, cursing himself for letting you get away.

you weren’t an easy one to manipulate. he wished he had turned you into a tribrid so you can have the sire bond, but a part of him, deep down inside, was glad that you weren’t sired to him. in the two weeks of training you, he had taken quite a liking to you. although you and him gave each other hell, there was a sense of mutual respect and understanding to each other.

you understood that klaus was never going to let you go unless you killed yourself. klaus understood, or was beginning to understand, that you weren’t one to be bossed around. you were your own person, and he was very drawn to you because of that. his siblings would say he had a little soft spot for you, even though he was still rough with you. he was only tough on you because he believed in you. he firmly believed that you could be greater than any supernatural creature, even him. he knew that going soft on you would get you nowhere. he hoped you would come to understand that.

klaus went back to the mansion after a few hours of walking around and feeding on innocent people. as he walked into the house, he saw you, rebekah, and hayley in the living room. you were having dinner and talking.

“oh, look! we were beginning to think you had gotten into some trouble,” hayley smiled.

“i’d come back, anyways,” klaus chuckled.

“wish you wouldn’t,” you muttered.

klaus looked to you, eyes hardening. “did you steal any bags from the hospital?”

“yeah, i did. what’s it to you?” you asked rudely.

“just wanted to see if you were as weak as you -”

“get down!” hayley exclaimed, diving under the coffee table.

rebekah, klaus, and you looked around, eyes widening as you saw a coven of witches outside the house. the windows then shattered, their voices all saying their incantations in unison.

“dammit. klaus, you take y/n into the basement. i’ll get kol and elijah,” rebekah instructed.

klaus nodded, grabbing your arm and dragging you away, but you kicked his shin.

“i don’t need to be taken to the basement,” you stated.

“stop being the hero and swallow your pride,” klaus rolled his eyes.

“i’m not being a hero! i can protect myself, okay? i know i’m new to the whole vampire-and-wolf-thing, but i-“

klaus took both of your shoulders, using his vampire speed to dodge the witches attacks. you and him collapsed in a corner in the kitchen, klaus hunching his body over you to shield you.

“you look like the hunch-back on notre dame,” you chuckled.

“will you shut…” klaus went to look at you, his words trailing off as he realised how close he was to your face.

his eyes roamed your face, starting from your eyes to your lips, to your nose and your cheeks. his eyes lingered at your lips for a while. they looked so soft. red stained the tissue from the red lipstick you had on earlier today. he wondered how your lips would feel against his, how your skin would feel in-between his teeth.

his head moved closer to yours like a magnet. you quickly figured out what was going on and panicked, yet you didn’t try to stop it. you felt unprepared in this moment. so much chaos was spewing around you; this wasn’t how you pictured your first kiss with klaus.

as his lips were about to press against yours, you started to scream in pain. your bones felt like they were on fire and being smashed by a sledgehammer.

klaus jumped back, eyes wide and full of fear. he watched with confusion as you boned cracked, your arms and legs contortioning. you slid onto your back, cries of help spilling out your mouth. claws sprouted from your nails, your clothes ripping as patches of fur emerged from your skin. as soon as klaus realised what was wrong with you, it was too late. you had already transformed.

you were a wolf now. you were brown and black, your fur full and soft-looking. your eyes were a fiery ember, your teeth sharp and white.

“y/n?” klaus said calmly.

you didn’t respond in any way. you moved past him, stalking to rebekah, kol, and elijah.

“why is she coming towards us and not klaus or hayley?” rebekah asked.

“because they’re wolves, too. we’re just vampires,” elijah stated, fear shivering up his spine.

“bex, you and hayley hold her off. elijah and i will deal with the witches,” kol said.

“why do you always get the more active work?” rebekah whined.

“oh, trust me, you’ll be wishing we switched jobs,” kol stated before running outside. elijah followed him, giving his sister a nod of encouragement before joining his brother.

“hayley, how do you happen to know how to deal with a tribrid who has taken the form of a wolf?” rebekah turned to her friend.

“no, but the witches are the ones who made her transform. we’ll just need to wait for elijah and kol to — ah!” hayley cried out in pain, collapsing into pain.

rebekah watched with wide eyes as hayley transformed into a werewolf.

“oh, great,” rebekah muttered.

“rebekah!” klaus screamed.

her head turned to her brother, stumbling back as now there were three wolves in front of her, licking their lips and prying onto her.

“kol, elijah? are you done yet?” rebekah called out. she turned to them, groaning in annoyance as they were still fighting off the witches. she turned back to the wolves, a sorry expression filling her face. “i hope you two can forgive me.” she said to you and hayley.

rebekah growled at you two, veins circulating under her eyes. she used her vampire speed to take ahold of you two, throwing you to the walls. you and hayley whined in pain, shaking your heads, trying to recover. you healed faster than hayley, running to rebekah and taking ahold of her clothes and waving her around like a chew toy.

“get off of me, mutt!” rebekah exclaimed, kicking you off of her. she quickly took a corner of the wall, aiming the stake into your side.

you fell to the floor, growling and whistling. you cried to klaus and hayley for help. hayley ran over to you, using her teeth and pulling the wood out from your side. she licked your wound, her saliva having healing agents and helping your gash heal faster with your natural healing capabilities.

klaus launched himself at rebekah, his jaw snapping as he tried to bite her, but rebekah was too fast for him. she smacked him across the room, his body ramming into the wall, causing some of the foundation of the house to rumble.

“kol, elijah!” rebekah shouted.

“one second!” elijah called, snapping the neck of the witch who was controlling hayley.

hayley suddenly morphed back into herself.

“oh, finally! here,” rebekah took off her cardigan, putting it over hayley’s naked body.

“i’m sorry for hurting you. go upstairs and rest,” rebekah apologised. i’m so sorry, hayley. go ahead and go upstairs and rest, i think this will be over soon,” rebekah apologised.

“no, i’ll come back and help you,” hayley shook her head.

“hayley, i don’t think that’s -”

“it’s you against a hyprid and a tribrid. you’ll need all the help you can get,” hayley said.

“alright. thank you,” rebekah smiled.

hayley nodded, thanking rebekah for the cardigan before scurrying upstairs to get dresses. rebekah then stood back up, trembling in fear as you and klaus sauntered up to her.

“klaus, i know you’re in there. i know you love staking me, and if you kill me, you will never be able to do that again!” rebekah pleaded pathetically.

klaus snarled at her, snapping his jaw and licking his lips. you stood next to him, eyes glowering at rebekah.

“fuck,” she muttered.

you both launched at her. rebekah smacked you two away, using her vampire speed to grab you by your scruffs and throwing you again. you bit her wrist, though, causing rebekah to let go of you two and collapse.

“you stupid dog!” rebekah screeched.

hayley ran down the stairs, holding up her brow and arrow and shooting you in the side. she shot klaus in the back, both of you falling to the ground. hayley ran over to rebekah, holding her in her arms.

“are you okay?” hayley asked. “besides this bite, yes, i’m quite peachy,” rebekah hissed in pain.

“klaus will heal you with his blood,” hayley assured her. “no, it’s fine. originals can’t be killed by werewolf bites. it just really hurts,” rebekah whimpered.

you ripped the arrow out of klaus’s side, licking his wound to help him healing. he looked at you, his eyes a radiant orange. he bowed his head down to you, thanking you. you let out a whine, accepting his gratitude. he stood up, pulling the arrow out of your side. you howled in pain, but you were relieved it was finally out. as you and him got back on your paws, hayley knocked you to the ground again. as you two fell in top of each other, you both transformed back into your human selves.

you looked around, confused. you turned to klaus who was staring at your chest. you looked down to see for yourself, screeching as him and you were naked. although the sight of his broad shoulder, narrow hips, and toned stomach made your insides flip, you were beyond mortified.

hayley hurried over to you, wrapping you in a blanket.

“let’s go and get you cleaned up,” she said as she helped you to your feet.

you didn’t dare look back at klaus as hayley helped you up the stairs. you were embarrassed and in pain, two things you didn’t want klaus to see.

“couldn’t have ended better,” klaus smirked.

“niklaus! be a gentleman for once, will you?” elijah lectured.

“she was staring at me, too!” klaus argued. “and then she ran off. seriously, how do you think she will ever love you back if act like this?” elijah asked.

“love? i don’t love her,” klaus scoffed. “you do. you almost kissed her,” elijah stated.

“nonsense. i didn’t do such a thing,” klaus shook his head. everyone in the room, especially himself, knew that he was lying.

“be in denial, brother. that’s what you’re best at,” elijah clapped him on the shoulder.

“looks like we’ll have to rebuild,” kol sighed as he looked at the broken walls.

“or we move in somewhere else,” rebekah suggested.

“even better. i was getting tired of this place, anyways. maybe we can move into a house that house a hot tub,” kol grinned.

“you two look for new houses to move into. klaus, why don’t you help hayley and i with y/n?” elijah hummed.

“fine,” klaus rolled his eyes. “but get dresses first. no one wants to see your arse,” elijah remarked.

klaus ran up to his room, putting on jeans and and an old t-shirt. he went into the bathroom where you, hayley, and elijah resided in. klaus entered the room, eyes widening at the huge gash that was across your ribs.

your head snapped up to him, anger and humiliation flooding through your veins.

“get out!” you yelled.

“y/n, i-i’m here to help,” klaus said.

“no, i don’t want you here. get out!” you pointed your finger to the door.

“niklaus, go ahead and go. she’ll be alright,” elijah said.

klaus sighed, his dead heart breaking a little as he turned around, shutting the door behind him. he went to his bedroom, slamming the door shut and jumping on his bed. he crossed his arms across his chest, reveling in the sadness and confusion you had put on him.

he couldn’t understand why you allowed elijah in there, but not him. of course, you and elijah had a better bond, but it’s not it wasn’t still awkward. elijah had taken the role of your older brother in the few minutes you had arrived. you had grown close to everyone but klaus, and that hurt him, but i made sense. he was the most hard on you. he didn’t treat you like a friend or a sister, but like a science experiment. it was beginning to wear on you.

but klaus didn’t mean to treat you like that. he just didn’t know how to treat someone like you differently. you were like rebekah, but less manipulative and selfish. sure, everything you did was for yourself, but as soon as someone needed help, you were there. and not killing that mother day, that wasn’t selfish at all. perhaps klaus could learn a thing or two from you.

his mind roamed to when elijah said that he almost kissed you. nonsense, it was. you two were merely looking at each other. and those thoughts about kissing you, it was normal to think those thoughts in that position. he was practically pressed up against you, and you were giving him suggestive eyes, anyways. what else was he supposed to think? maybe he did love you though. you were very beautiful, powerful, and a pain in the ass, but that’s how klaus liked his women: stubborn and stunning.

so maybe he did love you…. no. this wasn’t love. this was pure sexual attraction and admiration for a friend. nothing else.

“thanks for helping me,” you said to hayley and elijah.

“of course. i’m sorry i struck you. i had to protect bex,” hayley said.

“it’s - ah - okay,” you winced as she cleaned your wound. “i thought i would heal from this.”

“well, the arrow had a little of wolfsbane in it. not enough to kill you, but enough to hold you down for a few moments. you’ll heal in less than 24 hours,” hayley explained.

“ah, i see. why do you, a werewolf, have wolfsbane?” you questioned.

“it’s my wolfsbane,” elijah said. “just in case for emergencies like this.”

“makes sense,” you nodded.

“all done,” hayley said as she put a bandage over the wound.

you put your shirt down. “thank you.”

“of course,” hayley smiled. “how is bex?” you asked.

“in her room. she’d be happy to know you’re safe,” hayley answered.

you nodded, getting up off of the toilet and walking to rebekah’s room. you knocked on the door, peering in to see rebekah on her bed, drinking tea and watching tv.

“hey,” you greeted softly.

rebekah turned off the tv, smiling at you. “feeling better?”

“yeah, lots. i just have a cut on my side, but i’ll heal. how is your bite?” you asked.

she held up her wrist. it was bloodied and bruised, but was healing up quickly.

“i’m sorry again,” you frowned. “it’s okay. you weren’t in control. most werewolves aren’t when they’re a wolf,” rebekah shrugged.

“yeah, true. well, that was my first wolf. how did i look?” you asked.

“beautiful,” a lower voice behind you sounded.

you turned around, heart dropping as you saw klaus. he had a small smile on his face, staring straight into your eyes. you almost got lost in his sea-green eyes, but you tore your eyes away from him painfully, turning to rebekah.

“glad to hear you’re okay, bex. i’m going to bed now. i’ll see you in the morning,” you said. you then headed for the door. klaus stepped back to allow you to exit, but he quickly followed you.

“y/n, can we please talk?” klaus asked. “no. now leave me alone,” you said without looking at him.

“please? i just want to -”

“i said go away, klaus,” you snarled. you faced him, eyes glowing red.

“alright, fine. see you in the morning?” he asked.

“yeah,” you nodded. you then shut your door, leaving klaus alone in the hallway.

“give her space, niklaus,” elijah appeared.

“i know what she wants, elijah,” klaus rolled his eyes. “oh really?” elijah raised a brow.

“yes. now stop bossing me around. i’m not a child anymore.” klaus stormed past his older brother.

“how wrong you are,” elijah remarked.

————

Part Two (coming soon!)

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aquato-family-circus · 3 years ago

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had a fucking WILD dream abt hollis and loboto having a connection post game

so you can visit hollis' classroom mind and its expanded to fit more young psychonauts students

and sometimes, you can follow her behind a hiden bookcase if you catch her at the right time struggling to focus in her mental office

i'd love to say theres permission to go deeper into her mind this time but what actually happened was that raz was following her bc he had a question about a test, no actual motives to mess with shit this time, but before he knew it or could stop it he ended up stuck in a deeper part of her mind im lovingly refering to as

Hollis' Hot Mess

Where after trying to look for her office, the halls start to twist and turn and contort into endless household hallways, and you start running into mental constructs of Hollis' parents, who are, not good people at all. In fact, you see them by hiding behind corners, talking shit, while you're trying to find your way out of this part of her mind, but if her parents see you the horror chase sequence begins

You have to evade her parents who are trying to fucking get you by running thru hallways and hiding in rooms that just so happen to hide away memories of hollis being a disappointment to the family and being pressured to do her best bc thats what will (probably) get her parents' respect.

Once enough time has passed you enter a door into the house's main living room, the chase sequence ends and you enter the fight stage of the mind, where her parents throw things at you and you have to throw them back. They vocally say what power was needed for each attack, very helpful thank you

and this is where the loboto connection comes in. after a few rounds of this chase then fight, her parents in my mind's eye just were the puppet stopmotion parents loboto has. and the "animation style" of the fight felt distinctly like the VR game where the objects being thrown slowed down and even the camera movement started responding to VR related eye and neck movements. Now it wasnt saying that loboto's parents WERE hers tho. it was drawing a comparison where even in my dream i could tell it was a metaphor.

the fight eventually ends with big versions of the parents crashing thru the house, ones that I think Loboto himself helped you fight? and you have to avoid them crushing you and hollis, but its ok bc the dad's heart is an empty space so you get saved in a fucking charlie chaplin move of dodging so you're in the heart zone and therefore not squished

we're left with this indication that hollis and loboto either had their brains mixed up in some weird way, or for some reason loboto's fond of hollis in a way that doesnt make sense until right before leaving the level he makes some referal to thinking of her like his kid. hollis is like "huh :0" and im like HUH??? then wake up

legit I jumped awake to my phone starting this post like "guys i found a psychonauts level that explains everything" before I became more lucid and realized i just had a really fucking god damn weird dream, lmao

im keeping the scary family memory backrooms and "hollis' hot mess" as ideas in the back of my pocket now tho

#cospn2

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srirachvbi · 4 years ago

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Aran and Aone as dads headcanons !

requested by @kara-grayson04: would you do aone and aran as dads?

a/n: MY BOYS!!! i love these two sm and i actually meant to post smth for aone before but i lost inspiration :((( it was an imagine not headcanons and i struggle to write sometimes-- maybe i’ll rewrite it and post it but idk (it was based off of his concern that people didn’t like to sit next to him on the train) and... aran needs more content !!! i’m literally in love with him... ALSO TIMESKIP ARAN HAS ME 😳👉👈 LIKE THE BEARD??? he looks SO GOOD.. Also.. oh my god im so sorry it took me so long to post these 😭 i literally have no excuse i was just tired

warning(s): manga spoilers

Ojirou Aran

hello sir, your hand in marriage pls <3

He’d be SUCH A GOOD DAD

I have no doubts in my mind that he’d literally be the best husband, father, brother in law, grandfather, uncle, cousin, sibling--

This is me saying that I love Aran and I think he’s perfect

I also think this way about Kita

Kita Shinsuke, and Ojirou Aran, please... your hands in marriage

Osamu too-- he can cook 🥰

But Atsumu??? 🤢🤢

That’s a joke he’s one of my favorite characters

Anyways back to Aran <3

But like him having twins-- one boy and one girl

The amount of dread he had before they were born because all he could think about was what if they turned out like the Miya twins

But!! when they were born and weren't the devils incarnate he was like 🥰🥰

His twins are both super energetic and never sit down

But they're like!! so happy all the time and he just

*heart clench*

He'd literally do anything for them it's so cute

When they were born, he'd spend hours in their room after you went to sleep

He would like cradle them and tell them stories and all that :((

Since he's a pro volleyball player, he wouldn't be able to spend as much time as he'd actually like with them so that's why he'd stay up late just in their room

If they ever start crying in the middle of the night, he'd immediately let you go back to sleep and he'd take care of it !!

He thinks it's fair because you take care of them so much when he's away for games and you also birthed them so like

Whenever he's home, you don't have to do half of the things you normally do

As the twins grow older, you start bringing them to his games and he's like "!!!" cause they're his pride and joy 🥺🥺🥺

He'd show them off to his teammates after the game

Aran would be like "Look!! Here are my two angels who are nothing like the Miyas 🥰🥰"

Atsumu meeting them at MSBY vs Red Falcons cause you had time off from work and the twins wanted to go

The twins knowing what their dad has said about Atsumu and being like "👁️👄👁️ my dad says you're rude" and he just *clenches heart* cause its so cute yet so sad

CAUSE LIKE yeah they're insulting him but the look on their faces is just... so cute

That's kinda masochistic, Atsumu

Actually Atsumu's a lot better than he was in high school as an adult so they do warm up to him, sadly 😔

Aran is definitely the type of guy you see in public with his kids and immediately go like "wow, he's definitely a great father" because he just radiates that energy

okay i do this sometimes idk if others do

He never yells too much at his kids and always talks things out maturely with them and its 🥺🥺

He tries not to spoil them too much but definitely does on accident CJWJCIE

They'll come back from the store and you'll see toys in their hands and you just give him one look and he's like

LISTEN

They're just too damn cute for him to say no to sometimes

But he won't spoil them to the point of them becoming obnoxious!! he knows the limits and has set them !!

When you were pregnant, he was literally so helpful and you just... hardly had to do anything

He wasn't as strict with making you do LITERALLY nothing like Sakusa, but he definitely tried to do everything he could

Absolutely no!! carrying of anything!!

He's a strong volleyball player who was one of the best back in high school-- he refuses to let his wife carry anything !!

All in all, Aran would be the best dad of haikyuu and i would write more but that would be too long

Aone Takanobu

ohmygod

I literally love him so much hes just... his current concern knocked me out

I would sit next to you Aone 😔

anyways

Aone would definitely be a great dad but he'd be a bit aloof unlike Aran would be

He wouldn't really be too sure what to do cause he's scared his own kid would be afraid of him :(

For a while, he'd be extremely hesitant to take care of your guys' daughter because he just :(( he was scared that she would start crying

Turns out his daughter literally is a ball of sunshine who thinks her dad is!! the coolest!!

I mean he's really good at volleyball and he's so BIG 🌟👄🌟

L i k e

He's literally her walking jungle gym-- you can pry this headcanon from my dead body i REFUSE to see anything else

He would be in the kitchen drinking coffee first thing in the morning and suddenly, he hears her tiny footsteps and then theres something weighing down his arm

SURPRISE!!!!! it's Misa!!!!

Forgive me, i was binging Maid-sama

She's all like "dad! dad!!" and then she'll start rambling on and he just

heart clench

You both were such a blessing in his life because neither of you were afraid of him 🥺🥺

Aone and you met during college!!

You guys didn't go to the same college but you met him on the bus hehe

🥰🥰 and you sat next to him without hesitation and actually tried to start a conversation with him because he looked to be a similar age

Now you two are married and have your cute daughter, Misaki 🥺🥺💖

Futakuchi wasn't allowed to babysit her by himself because he said something bad in front of Misa once and she asked about it later to Aone and you at dinner

Futakuchi getting a call from Aone and it's completely silent

He got the message (๑•﹏•)

Hinata is Misa's favorite uncle!!

because Futakuchi said bad words that anyones not supposed to say >:((((

Hinata likes to tell her stories of his interactions with her dad and shes all like ✧\(>o<)ﾉ✧ cause!! her dad's so!! cool!!

Since Aone works in construction (i think), he's super strong so she's always testing his limits

"Dad... can you lift the couch?" "... yes."

He lifts the couch and she's squealing like "WOAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DADS SO COOL!!!!!!"

stop shes so proud that Aone's her dad and it's just so cute

all of her friends think that Aone's the coolest as well because Misa never stops talking about him!!

"Aone-san, you're so cool!!! Misa-chan was right!!" "RIGHT?? RIGHT?? My dads awesome!!!"

He's never felt so much happiness

When you were pregnant, he was this huge ball of anxiety... the poor thing...

He's super nervous he's gonna accidentally hurt you in some way and so for a while, he refuses to touch you im-

He doesn't know his own strength and if smth happens to you, he will literally die

It took you scolding him for like 20 minutes for him to finally understand

He's still hesitant to hold you when you guys are in bed tho cause he's 😔😔

Aone would definitely struggle at the beginning as a father but he's literally such a great dad after he lets go of his worries!!

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tricewithaz · 4 years ago

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back on my bullshit: here's various thoughts on Nikolai's bedchambers

This goes without saying, but they're rather big. The sitting room is bigger, and it has a shelf full of books, most of them technical about shit he likes (like engineering, astronomy etc)

There definetely is a world map in the sitting room. It's old and it's huge.

The bedroom....man, Nikolai is a mess. He does make his bed tho, but only for the sake of his own sanity. Most of the times you'll find his desk full of papers, drying ink cause he forgets to close it, books on the floor etc

I know canonically it's navy blue.....i do not give a single fuck it's red.

His bed is huge and its on top of a little wooden platform. The sheets are normally white, with golden details but he also has some navy and red ones.

(he doesn't sleep with too much coverage he's not one of those people that gets cold easily)

The bed has a canopy, with simple ornaments on the pillars. The roof of it is painted like the night sky, with stars and all and it lists some of the star and constellations names, a whim from his childhood.

(to make matters sad, he and dominik used to observe it for hours as children and he still remembers his favourite constellation.....yes I made myself suffer with these)

The lamps on the nightstands are both souvenirs, one from Novy Zem (to his left) and one from the Wandering Island (to his right).

there's a big marine painting in front of his bed.

His desk isn't very big, but it's enough that he can work on it. Above it, on the wall, there's a tiny shelf where he keeps his writing stuff, some wire figures etc. There's quite a lot of wire figures in his room actually, helps him visualize. He can't draw for shit so it's better this way.

There's always a couple of books on his nightstand, or on the floor next to his bed. And a pile of books next to his desk and on the table too.

The big shelf, next to the bathroom door, is the one with all the interesting stuff. There's a blue rosary, although he's not religious. There's also a photograph (one of those 19th century ones) of his army squad from when he was around 17. There's also an antique clock he bought for cheap in Kerch.

The books on this shelf are the most interesting of all. Some of them he bought abroad, some he took from the little palace library. All of them are annotated all over, asking questions to himself, writing messages to his friends for when they read them, messages written by his friends to him. There's a book of poems where one of them is captioned "Zoya" but it's scribbled over so no one ever knows.

Some of the books are from when he was a student, so there's little chats on them and extensive games of the hanging man. Also translations to ravkan in the kerch books. Most of them are from the text but others are anotations about how to ask for coffee or how to say left or right, so he doesn't get confused. He got the hang of it eventually.

Theres a couple of drawings of him and his friends from kerch, made by one of his classmates from the time.

The novels are all mistery, adventure or romance. There's even one known for how scandalous it is.

On the shelf there's also the very first mechanical boat his constructed as a kid (made of wood, practically falling apart) A couple of mechanical little wings too, ideas for boats and whatnot.

He keeps a lot of written reminders in front of his desk, on the wall. Some are engineering ideas, others are important dates and appointments, reminders to revise certain things and stuff like that.

The bathroom has white marble tiles on the floor and jade green tiles on the walls. The sink is also jade green, but the bath is white and golden.

Thats all folks 👁 although if anyone wants me to ellaborate on anything i will

#gv #kos #nikolai lantsov #hc

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juni-ravenhall · 3 years ago

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okay now the real question. Are you excited for the new wildwoods quests tomorrrow? Like I know they say "never play on update day" but I am READY, boy am I READY for new story quests!! -💜💚💜

im rly excited i wanna find out what the story is so bad ;_; <3 and even tho i think theres room for constructive discussion abt some charas redesign like i talked abt during spoilers, i am so excited to see new models / new charas in the game too

#ask #anon #reply #answer

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anandasamsara · 3 years ago

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Okay, i’m going crazy here thinking about this, i cant just dump that on my friends bc they all busy with their lives and jobs, and saturday is a long time coming so i cant scream it all out on therapy yet.

I found a house. It’s kinda shitty, very small, cheap-y and probably not that structurally sound. It’s also probably an illegal construction that someone exploited. It’s in a very poorly planned villa (or whatever it is called in english). But i fell in love with it and i need to move there. I fucking remade the whole thing on the sims so i could play-plan how i would decorate it.

It’s also near my best friend’s house, so thats a plus and a half for safety and comfort reasons.

It has an open plan kitchen/living room that is about 2x3m, maybe less. Probably less. It has only one room, but it looks okay-ish sized and IT HAS A MINI VERANDA, which you can see that i love more than anything else, with half a view of the street and full wall glass doors/windows set. Probs 2x2,5m counting the mini veranda. The bathroom is a literal square, maybe 1,5x1,5m, but it does have a nice shower space. On the outside, theoretically the washing tank belongs to the house, even tho it is literally outside on the mini patio.

Imma show you the pics bc i gotta rant about this more:

The front.

The mini patio outside.

The view of the house itself. It’s on the “second level” of the place.

The outside washing tank.

The living room.

The kitchen.

The bedroom.

The mini veranda (more like micro) with a view to the street.

Hallway to the bathroom.

The shower.

The rest of the bathroom.

So. Really fucking small and weird, right? But i truly fell in love with this shitty place.

And i made plans.

On the outside, i can probably maybe fit a washing machine by the washing tank. Tight fit, but it may work.

I can fit a small couch (more like a futon), a very thin table by the half wall under the window, a very small coffee table and some storage high on the walls of the living room. Maybe even a thin rack and a small shelf. I wont have a tv bc i dont use one, so i could leave an empty square on the wall and use a projector to watch shit when i have people over.

For the kitchen, the stove would be on that square by the half wall. More storage high on the walls and a cabinet by the sink, maybe. If i could find a smaller fridge, like a 1,50m tall one, i can put it by the bedroom door with a microwave over it. The coffee maker would be on the cabinet by the sink or the thin table at the other side of the half wall.

For the room, i can easily create a wall made of bookshelves on the middle to separate bedroom and office. I can also add a higher level made of wood where the bed will be, to create a better illusion of two ambients. On the micro veranda, plants and a garden table/chair combo if i can fit it. Also, a magnetic mosquito door curtain bc yes.

The batroom only needs some storage, so some shelves on the wall would be enough. Maybe a big mirror to hang there too.

I’m very very tempted to contact the owner and book an appointment just to see the place in person. But the thing is, i absolutely cant move there.

I’ve no job, no money, no means. It’s a 700brl rent, 3 months in advance, which means 140usd per month plus 400usd in advance. And im not even listing the bills. Water is apparently shared with the other residents, but theres electricity and internet and my phone and my medicine.

Its a lot and im going crazy and i cant deal with my parents anymore. I dont wanna be their parent, i dont even want to have kids! And my health is catching up with me, so the number of jobs i could do is going down, and being unemployed with a declining health will help me with fuck all.

This is more a rant than anything. I want so bad to show people this house, but i cant bc i dont want to bother anyone specificaly with a useless wish, so i’ll show it here and people will just ignore and thats fine.

I just. I keep realising that im way poorer than i ever thought i was, and its taking a toll on me. No jobs i could get would pay me enough to move out, no matter what kind. Teacher, artist, academic advisor, secretary, cleaning crew, store clerk, supermarket cashier, none of these pay me enough to survive, and half of them i cant physically do.

Anyways, TL:DR i found a shitty house in a shitty place that i fell in love with. I’ll never be able to live there.

#long post #rant #me #personal #my dream shitty house

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emilysbadsanddisservices · 4 years ago

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You look up at the too tall doors. A white sign with pink lettering hangs on each of them.

The left reads: under

The right reads: construction

Construction is chopped into three parts, so if you wanted to, you could read it:

Under Con, Under Struc, Under Tion

The building stands tall, silent, undisturbed.

You push the left door.

You hum to gentle music you can't identify. A person's shadow dances behind some pink metal shelves.

"Hello?"

Was that you? Was that them?

The shadow flits under the shelves, and pops out like a cartoon, but instead of bugs bunny theres a very real young lady with a too big of a smile.

"Hello," she says. She flips her weird hat down & you realize its a clear face mask.

"We might not have what you're looking for right now." She gestures around. "We're renovating."

You don't see anything but an empty room. The tiles are a faded pink, the walls a faded purple, and the room size itself hurts your brain. Is it large? Is it tiny? How can you tell?

"You're welcome to look around, tho," she says.

You stare at her blankly. She tilts her head. Her smile has disappeared, and her eyes have grown wide.

You stumble backwards.

Whatever you needed, you could find it elsewhere.

#Emily's Bads & Disservices #dreams #unreality #tw: anxiety #tw: confusion

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millennialzadr · 5 years ago

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WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )�� its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

#in this trying time of shippers being stressed over discourse #i offer a gift<3 because i love you guys #and we should spread the love #i want yall to go OFF #tell me every little fuckin thing about zadr that makes ur heart doki OK #LETS GO 👏👏👏#invader zim #zadr #text post #my post #long post

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rorybergstrom · 5 years ago

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𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑩𝑶𝑫𝒀 𝑶𝑹𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑨 𝑩𝑰𝑺𝑬𝑿𝑼𝑨𝑳 𝑹𝑶𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑲𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝒀𝑵𝑻𝑯 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑫 ???

hello, it’s nora again…. hitting u with another child. a south london-born softboi who deserves tenderness. has a burner phone and doesn’t use social media. does techno dj sets. plays the synth loudly through the night if u live in gorham his room always sounds like a space ship just landed. deals weed around campus on his rollerskates. hates that he can’t get new light up wheels because ana coto made rollerskating cool again. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board. this intro is recycled?? so if theres mistakes, sue me??? and be sure to like and subscribe for more unboxing content x

application.

『 FIONN WHITEHEAD ❙ DEMI-MALE』 ⟿ looks like RORY BERGSTRÖM is here for HIS JUNIOR year as a MUSIC TECHNOLOGY student. HE is 23 years old & known to be ECCENTRIC, FANATICAL, NITPICKY & DOGMATIC. They’re living in GORHAM, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ ooc name. age. tz. pronouns.

aesthetics.

bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and djing into the blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars, marxist literature in stacks against your bedroom walls, a burner phone twice-shattered and a stash of replacement sim cards.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the perfect kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having nice parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

grew up in peckham, a suburb of london. growing up, his mum was a model / actress / waitress who later retrained as a speech therapist and his dad worked in her majesty’s service at buckingham palace. his dad wasn’t allowed to tell his family what his job entailed but rory suspects it’s probably very boring and just involves a lot of…. logistics n security.

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fit in and he didn’t want to fit in. unironically wore a trenchcoat to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his safe space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some. right now is dad to one cat, whose name changes on a daily basis (identity is constantly shifting, duuuuude), but they were originally named ‘wheezer’

rory has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

formulated several different bands as a kid but ultimately had to give it up cos he was quite controlling and got fixated on making a certain sound so it wasn’t really fun for the others. got into electronic music because it was something he could do basically on his own and keep tweaking until he got it perfect

always drumming their fingers or strumming invisible guitar strings. tends to avoid parties bc he has quite has specific tastes when it comes to music and doesn’t like listening to r&b for eight hours while people throw up into plastic cups.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

moving to the states, their photography became more focused on suburban neighborhoods and are often quite dark and cinematic (think gregory crewsden). here are some shots of pittsfield i really like which rory has on his wall [1] [2] [3]

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. doesn’t really know where he fits yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all. isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden even tho it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

everything is socially constructed. mirrors let you move through time. the whole thing’s a metaphor. he thinks he’s got free will but really he’s trapped in a maze. in a system. all he can do is consume. people think it’s a happy game. it’s not a happy game — it’s a fucking nightmare world, and the worst thing is, it’s real and we live in it

has ocd. tries to let it affect his life as little as possible, but obviously it’s incredibly hard to control a compulsive disorder. was teased for it at school when other kids started to notice. he was obsessed with the number five, would wash his hands five times, count stairs i groups of five, he could only use the corridors in one direction and always had to keep his hands busy. it manifests itself in hyper-fixations (trains when he was a child – specifically steam engines – then later he became obsessed with space and the patterns of constellations, and now he’s obsessed with synthesizers) and repetitive behaviours like counting stairs. doesn’t really affect his social life at all, he can jst get a bit locked-on n hyper-focused sometimes.

has insomnia. barely ever sleeps. finds it hard to switch off from work / writing / gaming / whatever’s preoccupying him in that moment. he’s always awake at 5am and quite often sleeps in through classes but still gets really good grades because he’s very good at his course. rarely attends classes. prefers to work independently. doesn’t really trust his tutors are intelligent enough to be teaching him, and is particularly suspicious of the lockwood tutors. a music snob tbh

secretly a small-scale drug dealer, only does weed n some party pills. rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car

likes: techno, the webpage cats on synthesizers in space, allen ginsberg, vintage gramophones, floating points, lcd soundsystem, marijuana, soft dogs that let you pet them, late-night strolls talking about the universe, independent films, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, constellations, photography, late night jazz, vintage game boys and girls who could rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and use it as an ashtray. dislikes: weddings, funerals, formality, button-up shirts that people actually button-up, bananas, hot coffee, social media, people who watch and play sports, rap music – especially of the misogynistic variety, indie wankers in wire-framed glasses that play ed sheeran songs at open mic nights.

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… is very tender and tame… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

hm now that rory has !Evolved! ig we can do hook up plots if u want but he’s not tht good at divorcing sex from emotion?? like he hooked up w teddy once n felt hopelessly inlove so..... if u want soft plots b prepared for crippling sadness.......

stay groovy XD XD

#radintro #plot with me cowards #said in a very soft and tender way. whispered. im but a small bug in a gutter.

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vaguelygeiszlerian · 5 years ago

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1 to 50

ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me

Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me

Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school

Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work

Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels

Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both

Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in

Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad

Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)

Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)

Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan

Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)

Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad

Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban

How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in

Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things

Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY

How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping

Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)

How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying

#long post #christ that took like 3 hours #i dont know things about myself #thanks for asking though #Anonymous

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transphormers · 5 years ago

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What If.... someone wrote a KOBD fic where instead of the usual 'Breakdown is the poor construction worker and Knockout the rich/middle upper class famous doctor blablabla'..... we changed it up a lil........ and got Breakdown as a known architect (or at least known if you know Anything about architecture and/or interior design, which Knockout knows Nothing about btw!) and Knockout as the struggling med student (either he's a lil younger but not too much than BD or I'm following Spanish uni system where architecture is 5 years and Medicine is 6 + 2 (or more!) of specialization and like, theres no much room for BD to have become 'famous' Unless KO had to retake/stop studying for a year or two and still....but anyway! Who cares about realism? I sure as hell dont! Where was i?.... Oh yeah)

and they meet cause BD gets hurt (not badly tho) and goes to the hospital where KO is working as an intern for one of his practical classes (idk how to explain it but I Know what i mean) and they have that good good Chemistry and sloooowly they start to become closer and closer but being a broke stressed student is taking a toll on KO which makes him behave like an asshole (more than he normally is) and it all explodes one day when BD offers to help KO but he refuses cause he thinks that a) BD is as broke as he is even tho he's working (no he doesn't know he is a +/- famous architect with enough €€€ to help him and still live well because they were too busy talking about deep and dumb shit to talk about every day things such as work) and b) KO thinks BD just wants to help him cause he pitys him or smth and he Hates That

And here would go the angst of 'ok so lets stop speaking and seeing eachother even tho I've felt you were the missing piece in my life since i laid my eyes on you' which morphs into 'oh fuck. Oh shit. I had a crush on you...no ......... I l*ved you..... nO I L*VE YOU. fuck i need to get you back in my life but How?' and it takes a while for them to really get (back) together because of their (mostly KO's) pride and also just life getting in the way (and maybe 🤔 some other characters) but when they do......... Its some faery tale princess ending bro.... like happily ever after we get married and adopt a child and life is good and we laugh every time we remember how close we were to losing eachother because we were fools..... What if.... Someone wrote this..... Hahaha Just Kidding......Unless?👀

#olaya speaks #i havent read kobd fics in a long time so idk if this is the usual formula now but likr #who cares

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insomnihan · 5 years ago

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han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on CLC’s “Devil”

THEYRE BACK SO IM ALSO BACK ON MY BULLS HIT STAYING UP UNTIL 2AM TO WATCH IT AS SOON AS ITS UP aka its TIME AGAIN to be a loud CHESHIRE™ ON TEXT POST

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ its my brand

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG IS A FUNKY JAZZY BOP™ AND A HALF its the kind of song you just literally BOUNCE in your seat and make you sway from side to side THAT CHORUS IS INSTANTLY CATCHY AND ADDICTING TO LISTEN TO i love the guitar and horns and that weird laser whistle sound????? so much throughout the song!!!!!!! theres a part that goes ‘i tried to be so polite’ that elkie and seungyeon sinGS UUUUUUUUUUGGGHH THATS SO SATISFYING TO MY EARS THERES SO MUCH SEUNGHEE I NEARLY CRIED SHE SINGS THE CHORUS TWO (2) TIMES HER TONE IS INCREDIBLE AND WHEN SORN SINGS IT AFTER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (THE SECOND CHORUS WITH YUJIN IS FANTASTIC TOO) YEEUNS RAP OKAY LISTEN I LOVE HER RAP BREAKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR SONGS AND THIS ONE DID NOT DISAPPOINT THAT INSTRUMENTAL BREAK PUNCHED ME AND THERES MORE YUJIN AND EUNBIN!!!!!!! THEY KILLED THEIR PARTS THEY WERE SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! no im not gonna talk about seunghees breath from the first second we know how i feel

THAT BRIDGE with eunbin and elkie was pretty interesting it stays upbeat and it passes really quickly i dunno why but it felt a little off??? i dunno why??? it just does to me??? i feel like it ends too soon??? just a smidge tho- and it barely makes it to three (3) minutes???? (no is about the same length) but im still BOPPING

sidenote: apparently seunghee mentioned (i dunno where tho) that this song is similar to pepe and that sure is true lmao

THE DANCE remember when i just mentioned how it makes you wanna bounce and sway WELL THATS BC theres a move in the chorus that does just THAT!!!!!! the moment i saw it i copied the move like I GOTTA IN FACT the choreography for the entire chorus is SO fitting like its just lots of hip and shoulder movement BUT it just feels so RIGHT- during yeeuns rap part theres a little bit of a move they did thats similar in their song ME and lowkey i thought that was cool!!

THERES SOMETHING ABOUT that hip move that murders like the way they swivel around first and their hand movement with it and then leading into the side to side just SO SATISFYING TO WATCH especially during the last part in that darker setting!!!!!!!

seunghee starts the dance............................... thanks........ the dancing during eunbin and elkies parts during the bridge was lowkey kinda funny but i found myself following and copying it like sticking my hands out like they did in the video BUT overall it goes with the vibe of the song VERY well!!!!

THE VISUALS the overall video premise reminds me red velvets russian roulette like they are REALLY trying to KILL EACH OTHER IN THIS MV (or at least injure each other) with the soap slipping pushing sorn off that chair dropping that thing on yeeuns head that vacuum literally THROWING DARTS and LIGHTING FIRES and THE MOST DANGEROUS OF ALL....................... stepping on legos.........

SUPER COLORFUL............................ BUT FINISH IT WITH BLACK AND DARKNESS i thought that was interesting LIKE i knew it was coming from the teaser images but i DONT HATE IT the song is called ‘devil’ after all going all dark and lowkey menacing at the end is welcomed here!!!!!! i feel like its supposed to lowkey represent their concepts from debut to now yknow???

I LOVE ALL THE BRIGHT COLORS THO especially the yellows and pinks BUT THEN paired with colors like that blue and green and salmon color or whatever like THAT is just P L E A S I N G™ to my eyes there was ALWAYS a bit of all these colors in nearly ever scene and theres just so mucH BALANCE its pretty refreshing™ if you ask me

BUT THAT ENDING WITH ALL THAT LOWKEY CREEPY (but like not really) PROPS LIKE ALL THOSE BARBIE HEADS AND EYES LIKE THATS AESTHETIC™

SOME SCENES THAT I LIKED AND WANNA MENTION:

FIRST SCENE WITH THE ALL OF THEM AT THE TABLE SURROUNDED BY DESSERTS I WAS HOOKED I KNEW I WASNT GOING TO LOOK AWAY FOR A SECOND

FIRST DANCE SCENE WITH THE BLUE AND PEACH COLOR OR WHATEVER COLOR THAT IS 👌

THE BATHROOM WITH THE HOT PINK WHERE SEUNGYEON AND YUJIN WERE IN and then made her fall over with the soap and seungyeon acted like she was eating it in the middle of a bathroom

THE ROOM SEUNGHEE AND SORN WERE IN WITH THE YELLOW CHAIR (love putting her in yellow chairs i guess) nearly lighting her on fire seunghees face after makes me laugh lmao

THE DARK GREEN AND ORANGE.............................. Y E S

THAT ALL YELLOW ROOM ELKIE AND EUNBIN WERE IN and it contrasted with elkies bright pink dress and eunbins darker outfit my eyes feel so blessed™

THE DARK SCENE LIKE THEYRE IN A HAUNTED MANSION WITH THE FLASHING LIGHTS I LOVE-

I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IT I JUST LOVE LOOKING AT THEM

(okay but that chair sorn was on only had one leg i just wanted to mention)

AKA I LOVE EVERY SCENE I LOVE THIS C H A O S™

T H E M

OKAY DENIM ON DENIM YOU DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK ME LIKE THAT™ AND the construction boots????? really?????? in front of my carton of barbie heads?????? YOU ABOUT TO MAKE ME WORK FROM HOME????? why would you do this if you KNOW HOW I FEEL????? but................... thank you i owe yoU MY LIFE- maybe its just me but at the moment ive been really feeling more brighter things so this.................... is some good food and like i know theyre supposed to be menacing but those black outfits make them look like an all-female biker gang more than anything-

also LEGS™

you usually save the best for last HOWEVER SEUNGHEE a whole WOMAN™ SHE REALLY KILLED ME THIS TIME AROUND i mean is there a time she doesnt kill me lets be real FIRST OF ALL BLACK HAIR BUT ITS STILL THE SAME LENGTH THANK YOU that dark green dress just suits her SO well!!!!!!!!!! also i just love green SO CLASSY™ with the headband and black heels pls- THAT light blue denim on denim with black crop top with the little pony tail...................... at ease i LOVE that look on her so much i dont think yall understand!!!!!!! then the BLACK DRESS!!!!!!!!!! the shoulders out!!!!!!!!!!! the thigh high boots!!!!!!!!!! when she does that dance move with her hips her figure accentuated by her belt.................. at ease x2 (also that one second of a scene where shes smiling over her shoulder in the black outfit i just wanted to mention-)

yujin pls that pink plaid outfit with the pink heels with your purple beret youre sO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LISTEN that denim with the crop top jacket???? with the orange and pink twin braids I CANT SHE LOOKED SO GOOD WITH THAT OUTFIT ON AND THEN THE BLACK LEATHER (is it leather) and the little two BUNS ON THE TOP OF HER HEAD!!!!!!!! A LOOK™!!!!!!!!!! i just always always think shes just so cute but also so fierce????? it breaks my neck i dunno how to describe it i just really like her face????

SEUNGYEON BETTER LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE WITH THAT PINK AND GOLD TOP WITH THE BLACK SKIRT STUNTING WITH HER BEAUTIFUL TAN SKIN she looks so so SO GOOD with the short hair BUT LIKE i love that hairstyle in general so thats to the SURPRISE OF NO ONE shes wearing a darker blue denim but i cant understand the shirt??? is it a jacket wrapped around like a shirt??? so the black outfit with the leather shorts and then she threw the jacket at the camera like the Baddie™ she is................ thanks-

must you be so beautiful sorn??? the braids with the clips in the dark denim with the black crop top i cANT- THIS HAIR COLOR IS STUNNING ON HER I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE THAT COLOR BUT IT LOOKS SO GOOD SHE IS SO FINE™ DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT YELLOW FIT WITH THE PLAID YELLOW BERET HOW COULD SHE LOOK SO GOOD WITH SO MUCH YELLOW ON????? that black outfit with the single bun on the top of her head and her hair is like super straight and the boots to her knees im SO-

yeeun you always kept your bob pls keep iT FOREVER- the one piece dark blue denim with that big green clip in your hair YOU MAY BE FIERCE BUT JUST LIKE YUJIN YOURE CUTE™ that red dress with the black heels and then they gave???? you extensions???? for your high pony tail with the black bow??? its cute but i mean i feel like that wasnt needed??? it wouldve looked great with just her short hair i dunno fashion FINALLY the last black outfit with the black hat and one glove and black boots that outfit HITS like pls punch me

DOES ELKIE JUST............... HAVE TO look like a princess?????? like she just always looks like a princess i cant explain it!!!!!!!!! SHE JUST FEELS SO PRINCESS-LIKE honestly i feel like its bc whenever they kinda make her hair wavy or something like that it just makes her more classy looking??? the denim two piece and her skirt is actually half light and half dark blue honestly thats a Look™ its cute!!! that hot pink dress with the one sleeve im HERE FOR IT!!!!!! PLS SHE LOOKS SO CLASSY!!!!! the black outfit is just a black dress BUT the black combat boots and her silver accessories like literally kill me with that hammer youre so stunning™-

so we agree that eunbin took that pink wig from jisoo right?? from ddu-du ddu-du?? jk but IM SO GLAD TO SEE HER MORE IN THIS MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!!!!!! WITH MORE LINES!!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY the light blue was fitted rather loosely but it still looked SO BOMB ON HER and her hair was so straight and that really made that whole Look™ that black dress with her kinda messy hair with combat boots while she was vacuuming elkies hair is an ABSOLUTE LEWK™ I LIKE IT A LOT!!!!! but seriously something about that pink bob is like............... im not sure if i like it??? i think i do??? the grey hat and fringe really pulls that whole look together honestly

tldr: *chefs kiss*

LIKE this was their style and sound of music i believe in the beginning and its nice to hear it again in a new way!!!! its fun and the instrumental even after listening to it so many times im still dancing along with it!!!!!!! i slept late as hell (bc yknow i had to watch this mv) and had to wake up hella early but I AM PUMPED FOR THE REST OF MY DAY!!!!! i mean like no which also barely hits three (3) minutes but im sure just like with no im not gonna mind that duration

IN CONCLUSION: MY MOOD WAS LIFTED TENFOLD LISTENING TO THIS I FEEL SO ALIVE NOW

#posting early im busy today lmao #theres are becoming longer as we move along im noticing lmao #i never complain here lmao #literally i NEVER do #clc #not dc #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts #nvm id rather have a long essay the original looked ugly on mobile

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karmanticmoved · 5 years ago

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1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

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patchdotexe · 6 years ago

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So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

#leo chirps #leos reply #system shit #i dont think i covered EVERYTHING #and im not sure how coherent this is #but i tried! :D #Anonymous #ask #pat.txt

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