#theres more but only 10 gifs are allowed

[lastmidtownshow24]

Awsten being picked up/carried by his bandmates: a compilation

[vrystalius]

GENERAL HC: demons usually have nests, not traditional like straw and fur nests but little tucked away areas they tend to guard.

Muzan and Kokushibo’s nests are in the infinity castle

Douma’s nest is very comfortable. Very demure. (He tears up pillows and goes apeshit. And then makes his cult members clean up and make a larger pillow for him. Because beds are for basic bitches)

Akaza probably has his nest in the infinity castle too, but he’s a bit more secretive, and prob has somewhere else

Gyutaro has his nest in the red district, (it’s filled with bones and all trinkets he likes.)

(Hantengu + clones bc I LOVE THEM) they probably have a nest in the infinity castle since he and his clones need separate areas to keep them from strangling each other… but JANEHWJ

Urogi has a more traditionally bird nest (he steals shit and makes it into his BED)

Sekido just has a bed. Shames everyone else for having a messy nest

Karaku’s nest is very soft. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM THERES SOME FREAKY SHIT IN TYERE- I know he told me :3

Aizetsu’s nest is a few rocks. He feels he doesn’t deserve a proper nest. (Get him some damn pillows. It’s causing back pain for everyone)

ENMU MY LOVE, his nest is inside the train station, idk the word but it’s where all the trains go when not in use, it’s very comfy! No sunlight, he probably uses train lights to illuminate for his human mate

TURNING HC’S (TW HUMAN EATING MENTION)

Muzan isn’t used to being gentle, and seeing his former human mate in such pain to become a demon like him. He has all his servants tend to them; Kokushibo at the door guarding, Douma out going to get nesting supplies for the newly formed demon liege, Akaza getting human meat for them. Fun stuff! 🤩 he throws a massive festival for his new demon spouse. (It’s an excuse to execute random demons)

Kokushibo has a smaller situation, he brings you a small personal feast, (well hidden human meat so you don’t feel guilty) and goes to some people to have them make human meals (just with human meat instead of beef) and personally brings you his nesting materials

Douma has everyone in the cult, and has a sacrifice for your “ascension” (cult bullshit to explain demons) and how you’d need to be quarantined for awhile (cuddles while you calm down from bloodlust) and you two eat the sacrifice

Akaza calms you by taking you out with him. Probably uses a muzzle so you stop biting him… he doesn’t try and keep you contained so much, just supervising so you don’t hurt yourself… or get caught-

Gyutaro has you and Daki in his nest, pampering you both and is hopeful his sister approves of his mate, power wise and demon appearance. (She’s just excited to have another demon to talk too dw)

Hantengu and his clones are waiting on you hand and FOOT, his clones’ mate shall have the same respect as Muzan, since Muzan chose you to be his demon mate.

Enmu puts you to sleep while this happens, easing the growing pains and hunger, you wake up basically the same just a demon bc of the dreams he gave you. 10/10 very nice.

This was very long 👍

I took pictures just in case if tumblr ate this.

This was so good!! I keep thinking about clawing and skinning Douma during the transformation while he just giggles and laughs loudly. Also, I love the nests- Gyutaro’s would probably stink of decay while Daki’s is the most prestige and comfortable. Only the most expensive fabrics and jewrely is allowed to come even near her nest.

I’m not the biggest fan of Hangengu’s clones, but Urogi stealing things for you and dropping it off at his nest, or trying to feed you foods he stole out of people’s hands like a seagull seems super funny to me XD

Also, I think Enmu tried more than once to nest inside a train but never could decide wich one to settle in since his favourite train model changes almost every week and it would be exhausting to change nests so many times, so probably decided to stay near or inside the busiest train station he could find. And yes, he will kick his feet in delight when watching a train pass by or stop to let passengers in.

Akaza probably is letting you chew and rip his forearms apart as much as you like during your transformation, he literally doesn’t care. Also, he’ll probably try to convince you to don’t eat women as well, but doesn’t mind if you eat them anyway. As long as you’re happy and fed.

I can see Muzan getting ashamed of nesting. He’s the demon kind and supposed to above such animalistic behaviours, but he can’t help to hoard the finest and highest grade pillows/blanket. He likes it comfortable and prestige. Muzan would probably spray some cologne over all of it as well to make sure it smells divine, just like him.

Muzan is probably being a little annoyed at how long your transformation is going. He’s gonna stand there, tapping his foot and checking his watch. He might even get worried and check you for any signs of a bad transformation.

Perhaps I should write more headcanons, those are fun!

[gatorbites-imagines]

idk if your requests are open and I don't have a plot like some of your other anons but how do you feel about Doflamingo being a bit obsessed over someone solely because they are much shorter than him but can throw him around like a toy doll😶‍🌫️

Donquixote Doflamingo x shorter male reader

Headcanons

Exams are over! writing time!

Doflamingo is one of my favourite One Piece characters of all time, so I got excited about this request hehe.

I imagine Reader is a powerful person on their own, since I can’t see Doffy being in a real relationship with anybody who isn’t powerful.

It’s definitely not hard to be shorter than Doffy, since that guy is 10 feet tall. So, you would just have to be less than 10 feet for him to tease you about it.

In this situation, you would be normal human sized, that means you go to about Doffys hip in height, meaning he always has to leer down at you, and your neck is gonna ache from having to look up at him at all times.

Expect his grin to be even more shiteating than normal when he looks down at you, especially if he actually sees you as a romantic partner and not just someone hes gonna use to further his goals.

Hes always gonna make comments about your height, and chuckle that laugh of his. If he actually likes you, I can also imagine Doffy dropping his feather coat on top of you, just to see how it completely covers you from head to toe.

Expect to be picked up and put in his lap when he sits down, and if you start complaining or snapping at him for it, Doffy would just find it more entertaining and go out of his way to pull you into his lap even more.

Theres definitely been more and one meeting between his subordinates and himself, where you’ve been posted up on his knee, looking like a grumpy cat as one of his large hands keeps you in place.

Doflamingo is already a very possessive and obsessive person in general, in my opinion, so if you are romantic partners, he will be very overbearing. You being smaller than him, only makes him worse.

You are gonna be embarrassed when he pops a squat to look you in the eyes, grinning bigger than normal when you glare at him at how clearly he’s humiliating you.

Expect to be grabbed by him and moved around as he pleases, just scooping you up with his large hands or with his strings, lugging you around like a doll or toy. He would probably give you a nickname like that too, calling you his doll, as he picks out clothes for you for the day.

Only he is allowed to bully you (lovingly) about your height. If anybody else tries to pull the same moves he pulls around you, his grin becomes tense and the veins on his forehead bulge, but that’s just him if anybody acts too interested in you in general, or flirts with you. If anybody flirts with you, they better count their days.

You better know how to hold your breath for longer periods of time, since he kisses like he is gonna devour you whole. And with you being smaller than him, his tongue would probably gag you up and close off your airways for a while until he’s had his fill.

Makes you climb him like a mountainside if you want a kiss, if he’s feeling like a tease. Just stands up straight and chuckles as you grab onto his coat or shirt to climb him like a tree. Calls you his squirrel, because of that.

He uses your huge size difference when he’s mad at you too, lifting you or grabbing you, forcing you to look at him if you aren’t, or forcing you to stay if you try to leave. Would probably also use it as an intimidation tactic, since we all know Doffy isn’t a good person.

Dating Doffy can never be healthy, but if you have a spine of steel, or if your as twisted as he is, there would probably be no problem. You can use his height against him, denying him kisses or your attention, but it only works for a short while, since he’s just gonna lug you around as he pleases or use his strings to get what he wants.

[hanatagami]

Batfam! Reader x Platonic! Damian Wayne - cuddle sessions

this is probably some wishful out of characterness but i dont really care, i just want some fluffy damian sibling time in my life screw capitalization

and please dont look at the tags i dont know if im doing them right

i also haven’t checked for grammar errors

so im gonna show a damian under some very specific conditions

its gonna take you being a very affectionate person

but also someone who doesn’t tease, or knows when not to cause if you do it even once this is never happening again

its gonna take him being absolutely completely sure you wont tease him, or utter a single word about it to anybody in the house

he also has to be completely sure you won’t say no, like 120% sure you won’t say no

heres what i think thats gotta happen for cuddly sibling damian

first is to show an example of how much you want to crush him with affection but don’t because he wouldn’t like it

the scenario i imagine to start this is a competition between all the wayne siblings

the winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser

you are the fortune winner, damian is the unfortunate loser

well he wouldve been unfortunate if it was anyone else

ignoring all the suggestions from the others that would most certainly piss damian off, you already had your heart set on something

“You gotta let me hug you for an entire minute!”

silence

que jason laughing (just ignore him)

the others get a big smile on their face for multiple reasons i dont feel like getting into

but damian grumbles and reluctantly steps up to you

(dick is in charge of the timer)

you crouch down and proceed to wrap him in what you want to make the best hug in the world

you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him to your chest, cradling his head in your arms

you gave a good amount of squeeze, a good comforting amount of squeeze

you don’t think you’d get a chance like this again, damian would never let himself lose again no matter what it takes if you have a good chance of winning

lost in the feeling of finally being able to smother your youngest sibling with affection you didnt really take notice of his reaction

you didnt notice how his body melted into your embrace (though only just a bit)

you didn’t feel how his breath on your neck began to slow down and relax 

or how his eyes began to droop halfway

you were lost in your own little word- and so was he

in fact when dick decided to break you out of your trance, it seems you both had gone passed the promised time without realizing

you had assumed damian was keeping count and would shove you off immediately after it hit the 60 second mark

but he didnt

and by the embarrased look on his face you could see he had MEANT to, but for some reason forgot

you had never seen his composure so broken as jason took the chance to immediately poke fun at him

(tho damian didn’t know that jason was also a secretive fan of hugs from you)

it was a good time 10/10 would hug again

lets skip a bit

but just know theres been a lot of thinking while damian has been on his  lonesome

he liked your hug a lot more then he thought he would

it was so warm and comforting and he had found himself unconsciously leaning into it

his mother wasn’t an affectionate person, being an assassin didn’t allow such luxuries

bruce wasn’t much better, though he tried to be

and by the time his siblings and him got any kind of close he was already uncomfortable with such affections

he never realized how truly touch starved he was cause at this point in his life he didn’t see why he would indulge in such niceties, it was unpleasant

but it more pleasant then he expected, and he had let his guard down which was a critical mistake in both assassination and vigilantism

but there was an itch he now couldn’t scratch with that mindset

he’d been going back and forth with himself for days about asking you to hug him again

(cause lord knows he wasn’t asking anyone else)

and after a particularly stressful day, people at school just bugging the hell out of him, and not being allowed to go out on patrol that night cause bruce noticed his stress

and damian could only assume bruce thought he’d take it out on criminals

which damian was too proud to admit was possible

So imagine your surprise when Damian just bursts into your room, slams the door shut, and turns towards you with his eyes squeezed shut and his arms out

now this is what i meant about teasing and joking, a teasing “no” or any other funny comment and he’ll be humiliated and outta there faster then he was in and he will never come back

its a good thing you knew that right?

you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face as you approached him and gently wrapped your arms around him

you could tell he was grateful you didn’t say anything

you’d have to guess he has been wanting this for a minute cause it didn’t take him long to completely snuggle up into you

You hadn’t realized he was so craving of affection, and you hazard a guess he hadn’t known either

it was a couple minutes before he broke away from you

when he looked up and saw your warm smile he turned completely red and sped out the door

how cute!

and now to your greatest hopes, it had started becoming a common occurrence!

your youngest brother is now actively seeking out your affection and its an incredible feeling

after the first couple times you had actually gotten him to speak to you during or after

and then a couple times after that, you had gotten him to stop speeding out of your room

he came the most at night, after dinner when everyone would be too busy working or in their room to notice his venture to yours

it was now common for you to silently hug him with one arm with him sat with you in your chair while doing homework or studying for college

or when you play something he’ll sit in front of you and let you rest your head on his

one of your favorite memories is him falling asleep on your lap on accident and him being so embarrassed when he woke up he pretended to still be asleep

you could feel the heat in his face so you decided to do him a favor and pretend you hadn’t noticed and instead moved him to your bed

though you couldn’t help the small kiss you planted on his forehead, knowing he couldn’t bring it up without outing himself

he’ll have to live with it

and you were surprised to find out he was the kind of brother who would sneak into your room at night

now you never caught the reason why, but you at least knew he didn’t want you to know

he came in and laid next to you when you were “sleeping” and left before you “woke up”

you assumed he was facing some inner demons when he did this, and wanted the small comfort but didn’t want the embarrassment of waking you up and asking you

you and alfred now have a hidden code, not that alfred knows (he probably does but you didnt tell him, but you were sure him and bruce had noticed and got a good idea as to what was happening)

well its not much of a code but when alfred asks for you or damian for one thing or another, you can send him something along the lines of “hey, ive got damian helping me with something” and alfred seems to get it and leaves you two alone for now

im not gonna say how, you and damian dont even know he does, but bruce has pictures

which is crazy cause you’ve never taken one, even while damian is asleep, cause this isn’t something your ruining

but bruce has pictures and he keeps them safe and secure for only him and alfred to see

seeing damian be so close to you makes him so happy

not that he’d say, him and damian are alike in that way

but alfred knows though

he always knows

[strangelockd]

How about a smut or fluff whatever you like with Sherlock x reader where the reader is in her early twenties so alot younger than him. But is in head over heels for Sherlock? And he also feels things for her ?

I don't know if this makes sense 😂

Just An Experiment

Pairing: Sherlock x Reader

Synopsis: You're playing a game with Sherlock when suddenly he has something else on his mind.

Word Count: 646

Warnings: Slight Age Gap, Mutual Pining, If You Squint Enough There Is Some Smut, Thigh Riding, Heavy Petting/Kissing

A/N: Sorry this was a day late I had some family drama. I hope this was worth the wait. I like to think Sherlock is a Nintendo guy.

“I win!”

At least that’s what it felt like until you heard Sherlock give out a small snicker. 

“And whats that supposed to mean?” Your voice slightly annoyed as you sat the nintendo remote down.

Sherlock raised a smile from the corner of his plush lips stating flatly, “It means that I let you win y/n”

Rolling your eyes, you scoff crossing your arms sinking deeper into the leather couch. Sherlock was always a poor winner, but he was more insufferable when he was losing at times. How can a 34-year-old man be such a baby…

“Oh, come on” giving him a playful shove with your foot “lets play something else, I guarantee I’ll kick your butt again old man”

His eyes widened, “I’m only 10 years older than you y/n” he responded calmly.

“Ya which makes you an old sore loser,” you tease deeper reaching for your glass of red wine, “so how about it” taking another sip setting the glass down, “care for another match?”

You notice him setting his remote down slowly on the armrest, “No, I don’t feel like playing that anymore. I have…something else in mind,” Sherlock eyes now trailed to you with that look, the look that makes your stomach flutter and flip all at once. He clearly didn’t want to play Mario Kart anymore. 

Everything was happening so fast now that you didn’t even realize Sherlock was now sitting much much closer. Heart beating faster, you watched him lean in ever so slightly testing the waters of comfort and space. You always had a crush on your friend, but as the years progressed it has become increasingly obvious of your infatuation for each other. So much so that there have been times were you yourself had to shake it off or at most shove the feelings down and put them back on the shelf. Besides, theres no way a genius like Sherlock Holmes would ever go out with a younger woman in her early twenties. 

Eyes widening, you stammered feeling your cheeks flushed a deeper red, “Sh-Sherlock wa-what are you doing?” You whisper softly.

He leaned in facing closer, smelling the slight hint of cigarettes and coffee from his breath. He leaned in, your lips just a hair from each other, “Just an experiment…”

Feeling his breath on your cheek caused the hair on your neck to stand as you closed your eyes welcoming the contact, his lips were warm and inviting causing a weakened sigh to emit from your throat. They parted slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside, the taste of cigarettes and coffee was hypnotizing. His kisses gave promise as your bodies pressed together heatedly against the leather sofa as you bit his lower lip gently causing a grunt to release from Sherlocks chest; he clearly was enjoying himself.

Breathing heavily as your lips pressed together you rolled onto his lap grinding your needy heat against his groin. He rolled his head back in pleasure as you continued your rocking motions; taking the advantage to unbutton his dress shirt leaving his toned frame exposed. 

Threading your fingers through his soft curls to tug his head forward as your lips clashed once more. He could taste the wine on you, feel the thud of your combined heartbeats as you both fought for dominance.

Finding his fingers groping underneath your shirt as he flipped you on your back making you squeak, his perfect form towering over you as he pulled away. His eyes glowing a bright green in the dim light. 

“Shall we continue with the game?” He asked coyly.

Shaking your head, you pull him in for a deep kiss, “no, I would rather have you”

He gazed into your eyes, a warm smile cascading over his face as he stroked your cheek placing a tender kiss upon your lips.

“You’re going to be the death of me y/n”

Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! It inspires me to keep writing. If you want to be tagged in future posts be sure to leave a comment.

A special thanks to the followers who requested to read more of my work. Your all very special to me <3

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[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #14 & #13

14. ESTONIA Alika - "Bridges" 8th place

Decade ranking: 40/116 [Above Circus Mircus, below TBA]

Tweak some bangs, Alika's Shart.

It is amazing how a few on-point tweaks can make a song significantly more appealing. I went up and down on Alika throughout the months, but a year after I've put her low on the pre-show ranking I am ready to lock in my final verdict: Bridges is kind of really good.

Ofc there were huge problems down the road cuz you know, vocal masturbation ballad in a BorisBubbles ranking, and also, clear jury carry the year after Marius Bear and Nadir Whatshisgjon, but Estonia ironed out their most glaring flaws, so what else can I ask for? I got what I wanted.

Estonia's problem for me, as I've come to realize once I started liking Alika again, was always one of aesthetics, and specifically visual aesthetics (keep that in mind when I rank Europapa low for the lack of bags-over-head (lol if I rank ESC2024 to begin with (I mean, I probably will (I am not readly to enter that discourse yet tho (regardless, that haircut is a capital offence))))). A big inherent flaw of vocal flex ballads like "Bridges" is the lack of dynamism and emotional gravitas (as the vocal technique goes against these principles - "loud" is a pitch, not an emotion) - it's a flaw that comes with the genre and that's something only charisma can fix. Pre-show Alika looked like she'd been dragged out of a river and then SHOUTED into a mic without moving, so yeah, that's where I bail. Slimane your way into someone else's simple and easily-impressed heart please, I Am Not The Demograph. (-- Alesia Michelle).

The version in Liverpool though was - by textbook definition almost - a glow-up. Alongside her Jenevelle hair, Estonia actually put Alika in a beautiful gown and made her move around. Observe:

NOW I SEE MAHSEEL BEELDING UP A WOALD OF BREEECHEEEEEEEEEES

Apparently a lot of people were mesmerized by the self-playing piano but for me the biggest factor in selling "Bridges" was just Alika herself. Props are nice embellishments but the true art of live performance is when score and vocal come together via the power of Personality. Which she finally showed in Liverpool after what felt like an eternity.

By allowing Alika to just do... idk, Alika things with her body lang, face and hands, Estonia broke the monotony of "three minutes of loudness" and made it fun, camp and digestible. If theres anything The Gays (me) like, it's a neat lady doing silly things with fierce confidence. Yasss Go Slay Queen.

Ultimately, a lot of people think Alika's top 10 is nonsense and a strike against juries and here I disagree. That a strong glow up and performance such as Alika's went unappreciated by the televote is a huge strike against the televote, not the other way around. I am happy she got her spot in the limelight, and 8th place is a good, if somewhat generous representation of what she brought. I'll never be a huge fan of the song "Bridges", but at the end of the day Alika really ate that live, and that's something worth rewarding.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

13. POLAND Blanka - "Solo" 19nd place

Decade Ranking: 39/116 [Above Alika, below Stefan]

"ARIANA GRANDE IF ARIANA HAD NO TALENT" -- my immediate instinct when i first heard "Solo"

Were my instincts wrong, though? Her lack of performance skill and talent, the online response, the severed heads of Jann and Iru she keeps mounted on a pedestal in her boudoire. Blanka was the Mery Bass of 2023. She has no business being this good.

btw yes, lmao so hard that THIS ENTRY was somehow one of the more controversial ones in recent ESC. Honestly, the 13th place I'm giving here is at least half thanks to the controversy which made "Solo" feel iconic - it is exceedingly funny to me that it caused so much outrage for... existing? What did Blanka ever do? Certainly not rob better acts - Listen to Jann and listen to Iru and tell me straight-faced they were better.

BEJBA! IS KINDA KRAJZA!

As a song, "Solo" was always fun femmetrash. Ever since Eleni the majority of the Eurovision girlbops have been attempting to recreate Fuegos with varying successes - Competently staged with intricate choreographies to commemorate our inner faggotry. "Solo" represents a style of girlbop that's gone out of fashion - the "Aphrodisiac"-like basic bop by useless bitches for useless cigs. (Fuego is what gays see themselves as, Solo is what they actually are). Aphrodisiacs have become nearly extinct at Eurovision because they nearly always lose the NF nowadays. So thank you Jann for performing 'Gladiator' in Scooby-Doo vocals so that we could witness Bejba fullfill her beautiful destiny in Liverpool.

And what a destiny it was. In a way, most of the things I wrote about Alika also apply to Blanka. A few small tweaks to the performance can make the whole a lot better. Unlike Alika though, who ampted up the sophistication, Blanka went a route I respect more: She listened to fan feedback.

Slight paraphrasing:

Fans: "EWW BLANKA HAS NO TALENT, CAN'T DANCE, CAN'T SING, WON BASED ON MONEY!!!" Blanka: "... so? 🙂"

I don't know WHEN Blanka decided to be everything the fans accused her of (talentless, washed-up, plastic), amped up to comical levels, but thank fuck she did because it made her instantly epic. It is rare for a Eurovision artist to address her online haters by Now I Betta Troll'em, Troll'em, and Blanka as it turns out is masterfully skilled at trollery. She elevated it into an art.

The Cheap VFX <3

The badly performed wooden choreos <3

The Dutch angles <3

Doing the Eleftheria thing of having your backing vocalist sing over you, while you mug the camera with semi-fierce faces and placeholder hairflips.

Accused to having no performance skill or talent? Add in a cheap dance break anyway, and enjoy every second of it, live your dream while they fume on Twitter, angry that Poland qualified over Georgia.

Guess where I am, honey? 💋 I'm in the final. 💋 And I'm here to stay 💋 :dramatic cymball:

"Solo" was incompetent, plastic and a huge mess, and that was great because it was all deliberate. That made it epic. Poland really took all the negative criticism they received and yanked it up to 11 and it made the entry better. If that isn't a taunting flex in the face of toxicity, I don't know what is. Given how venomous the fandom has been since the pandemic, that is an approach to life I can totally get behind.

THE RANKING

AND WITH THAT WE MADE IT OUT OF THE MILD LIKE ZONE, HOO-fucking-RAY. Now bear in mind that the next few eliminees are very LOW lush greens and there's quite a few of those before we get to the really good stuff, but eh. Soon I'll be able to talk about the songs I loved, and that's always a treat.

[calocera]

Your posts about SNW Spock makes me so curious, could you please explain how they've done him wrong since he seems very different from the original series :O Are they making him more human despite the SNW taking place before the og?

yeah i can! im not the best person to talk about it probably since im a pretty recent trek fan and also tos/spock arent parts of trek i care about as much as a lot of other fans, but i have opinions for sure!!

firstly just up front i do not like ethan peck as spock. he does not look like spock or act in a way i am satisfied with. it feels like the only reason they cast him was because he has a deep voice. so i am going forward in this with haterism for him specifically not JUST how he is written in snw

Spock is written not like a vulcan but like an anhedonic human. actually not even anhedonic, just like a human raised in vulcan society trying to blend in. like there is nothing about him that feels genuine he just feels like woobiebait for 2012 tumblr to make flower crown edits of because he is awkward and quirky. every scene involving spock is a joke about him and his demeanor, everything he says is a wink wink nudge nudge "lol vulcans act like this and its so stupid lol logic is silly" like i can physically feel a laugh track whenever hes on screen. i enjoy jokes about vulcans but it isnt funny when there isnt anything else. its like spock showing emotion, it isnt satisfying when its a constant and not a little treat peppered in. in snw hes stifling a giggle or screaming in pain or being oopsie awkward silly every time he gets a focal scene, it takes the magic away because now it isnt a rare break in character its just how he is. Ive seen a lot of people defend this aspect as him being young and therefore less mature than in tos, but hes like approaching 30 :\ i get him being less mature but he doesnt act like a sheltered 30 year old he acts like someone freshly 18. at this point its just like…MAKE A NEW CHARACTER!!!!

as a point of contrast, i like how uhura is written in snw (in season 1 anyways, she has barely appeared in s2) she is obviously younger and is growing into her spot on the crew, but they arent hinging her character on the 1 or 2 pop culture uhura moments, retconning anything about that that doesnt align with modern media fandom, and calling it a day; they actually expand on her character outside of like idk her doing a sexy dance and her sitting at the phone (though i guess it is easier for her since she had barely any character in tos anyways). meanwhile they DO do that with spock, his bullet point top 10 iconic spock moments of sometimes being awkward and showing emotion are now the only things he is allowed to do. tldr flanderization

i also think its interesting that it is this way since ethan peck played spock in discovery and there hes the exact opposite. hes extremely serious and vulcan; which fits the tone of the show (regardless of my opinions on the tone of disco). i just dont understand how that spock translated into the snw spock. they are not the same guy.

anyways on to the biggest plot related gripe with him...how he interacts with women!!!yay!!

first theres how they decided to have multiple episodes about his, apparently, strained-yet-loving-and-involved relationship with tpring. the inclusion of t'pring feels stupid because other than the 1 minute of cheap "oh i remember her!" from someone seeing her on screen for the first time what point is there to her returning when the ONE canonical fact about her is that she and spock A: had an arranged marriage, B: did not meet in person since they were children, and C: hated each other. its not like there is a huge contingency of t'pring/spock shippers holding out since 1967 so what value does reintroducing her as a character serve? i assume its as some kind of attempt to give a woman who previously had no real character something to do, but her existence on snw is STILL only about spock and her relation to spock so there isnt any sort of feminist level up happening. including her was not interesting enough to justify retconning the plot of the most iconic episode of star trek. especially when multiple episodes tonally and stakes-wise rely on you caring about them as a couple, and anyone watching who knows who she is already knows that her and spock dont have any relationship to speak of in the future so who is this for? if you really really just NEED spock to have sex with a woman why not make a new character? that would also suck but at least it wouldnt be timeline interfering. im not even a huge continuity purist "oh no!!the timeline!!!plotholes!!!" but when the situation is the writers deliberately breaking the continuity in large ways and the outcome isnt even fun? stupid.

and now his relationship with chapel. i am way more annoyed by this one since its just gross. so from tos the only thing with them is that chapel has a crush on him and spock is not interested. also worth noting that its such a non-plot related thing that it only is revealed under the influence of alien drug virus that makes you horny. and they decided that not only was that enough to base a whole reciprocated romance arc around, but now since theyve introduced tpring back into the story, spock is now a cheater??? what is the POINT of breaking canon to introduce spocks girlfriend only to go "well actually hes horny for his coworker" like...that isnt how love triangles work youve just done a character assassination. the man who would rather kill his best friend than have sex with his wife is now fucking both her and the woman who confessed to him and he got so mad he crushed a computer with his bare hands. ok 👍. i just hate that they chose spock to be the romantic center of the show. anyone else could have been the character who gets into relationship drama why spock? there are multiple new characters who could have taken up the position. and its not like spock has nothing else to do as a character without it

to say things specifically about the most recent epsiode since it was particularly annoying and showed things that happen throughout the series:

firstly spock just does shit thats stupid. illogical even. i know the whole logical fallacy moment with vulcans but when it isnt a point of note in the show and rather just happens as if its a normal occurrence for spock as a person im like...he would be a laughing stock on vukcan and not have any of the positive reputation he holds.

the plot of this ep was basically that spock gets turned completely human and they just miss literally the whole point of it. vulcans have MORE emotion than humans, they ACTIVELY suppress it. yet when spock is turned human he just experiences human emotion completely emotionally? he should be having an EASIER time suppressing his emotions. and OMG he gets a BONER because he sees a hot WOMAN LOL LOL isnt that funny? spock got hard isnt that hilarious? its just so cheap. they act like being human makes him a completely different person, they played it like the voyager episode where belanna gets split into human and klingon BUT in that case she was literally split into two different people (this ep had a lot of issues too ie racism but that’s a different can of worms); here spock just becomes human he still has the same memories and training and history...why would he forget what its like to be a vulcan. they could SO EASILY make excuses too but they just didnt care. and anyways bada bing bada boom the ep ends with him and chapel hooking up which i already complained about and could complain about more.

i think thats already too much so im gunna stop myself here but trust theres more i hate and other people have probably talked about this better than i have :')

blade nation

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

I posted 10,034 times in 2022

That's 6,585 more posts than 2021!

410 posts created (4%)

9,624 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jamiegeode

@gay-jewish-bucky

@galahadwilder

@shipskicksandgiggles

@sarah-sandwich

I tagged 2,297 of my posts in 2022

#the tree speaks - 401 posts

#asks - 165 posts

#ms marvel - 129 posts

#rrr - 68 posts

#rambheem - 42 posts

#fic rec - 42 posts

#prev tags - 37 posts

#desiposting - 36 posts

#omelet fic - 36 posts

#marvel - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it’s not even a boring scene to write or tedious or anything i just can’t outline and also i have so many different paths i could take with

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

shouldve known i was autistic when i always said heels over head instead of head over heels since when you fall you can tumble comedically over yourself but your head is over your heels all the time and it's not special when it's the same when you fall and it doesn't make any sense so anyway glad to know the autism didnt leave

320 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#4

banking on the fact that nico will have a star tattoo to match will's sun

513 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

#3

"cole brookstone isnt aro" NOT SO FAST

explain THIS.. thats what i thought.

1,001 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#2

i know theres like. three people who actually have disney+ on this site but if you have disney+, please please please leave ms marvel running. i dont care if you dont want to watch it, if you hate it, if you cant stand the difference between the comics and the show, etc etc i DONT care. but this is the first time a ginormous corporation has allowed this extent of representation of desi kids, and desi SUPERHEROES at that, with a majority brown and other cast, crew, and production members of color, and we have GOT to show them that we want this. YES at the sake of benefitting disney YES at the sake of giving them money. if you can do it, do it. if only for this. if only so the first time i see any semblance of myself on screen will not be the last.

1,368 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i want, like everyone, for aphrodite to be played by a slew of different people but i also would like for them not to look like supermodels. no airbrushing no extreme contour no cgi shaving off face fat i want people who would generally play extras to play aphrodite i want to find out that one of the actors was the directors son i want to find out that another one was one of the actor's mother that another was the cameraman's wife. !! give me the beauty in everyone!!!

16,568 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[my-elder-scrolls-shit]

I posted 538 times in 2022

That's 524 more posts than 2021!

14 posts created (3%)

524 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hircinesanters

@daggerfall

@nerevar-quote-and-star

@aaami

@volzaannir

I tagged 227 of my posts in 2022

#not tes - 10 posts

#elder scrolls - 8 posts

#skyrim - 7 posts

#cicero skyrim - 5 posts

#im talking now - 5 posts

#funi art time - 5 posts

#oblivion - 5 posts

#fa'jan - 4 posts

#martin septim - 4 posts

#tes oblivion - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 118 characters

#*brynjolf voice* now lass if you sign up for this and sell enough product and get others to sign up you could be rich!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Its real skyrim hours boys! Welcome to a fic based on this post I made a while back. Hope y'all enjoy

5 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

#4

HAPPY TRANS VISIBILITY DAY Y'ALL

Hi! As a trans man myself I am very excited so have this slightly rushed Fa'jan! She is a trans woman which is something I've mentioned before in a previous pride flag post, and I really love her for it. I added her other pride flags too bc I could (pan and poly).

6 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

#3

Fa'jan as Sheogorath doodles

I wanted to give her her own outfit for being Sheo n I mostly just ended up fucking around ahdjsknehwwhdk

This is the character from my fic "Walls" btw

8 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#2

This has probably been said before and written about before but the tragedy of Miraak and the Last Dragon Born being alive at the same time and therefore Miraak being the only one currently alive that could possibly understand exactly how LBD is feeling and thinking but they don't get a chance in cannon to really talk to each other. LBD could have incredibly interesting dialog with him about their similarities but Miraak can't leave if he doesn't kill them and they can't allow him to enslave the world they have been ordained by the gods to protect. By all means they should have been allowed to be on the same side but once again the characters that are by all rights demi gods are still just playthings to higher beings. And that's one thing both of them hate and if you live long enough you will start trying to find ways to change it.

On the flip side its interesting to imagine LBD being violently opposed to Miraaks ideology, they have similar situations but LBD has found joy and love and created a life and family of their own in Tamriel, imagine a dragon born that loves Tamriel and the people in it with all their heart and even if there wasn't a prophecy or a magic blood thing they still would have tried to save this world with the same ferocity anyway. Even LBDs who are immoral to their core, ones that chose to be violent assasins and thieves and split their soul into a thousand pieces, have people they want to protect. If that means killing Alduin, so be it, if that means battling the only other person who will ever understand them, then they'll do it.

Miraak didn't have that i dont think. And therefore it doesn't matter what happens to the world, he want to be free of shackles hes had since before he was even born. Maybe the Last Dragon born really tries to help him, maybe they try to show compassion and get him out, but it ends up being for nothing, hes killed anyway. They couldn't save him. They leave and end up back where they had been reading the final book. Devastated in every sense of the word and all they can do is look to whoever accompanied them and break down.

87 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Weird headcannons about lycanthropy no one asked for.

Mostly about lycanthropy and the weirdness that comes with being a werewolf, its more than likely slightly lore-unfriendly but these are for fun so who cares.

-lets start with the obvious, they got some weird wolf and dog mannerisms, eat more meat than usual, they growl instinctively at people they get a bad vibe from, that sort of thing.

-theres also some things that carry over into their non-beast form, sharper teeth, better hearing and scent, the companions (at least in the circle) can probably hear Heimskr right outside their place all the time and are on the verge of snapping

-i imagine they're a bit more hairy than most, which is like, a bit more common, but Kahjit probably get more wild and faster growing fur, argonians grow more feathery type stuff, and non-beast races just in general more hairy

-folks with beast blood are always just much stronger than they look, like even if they look skinnier they still are much stronger than they have any right to be

-they don't get cold as easy, and Kahjit lycanthropes can feel almost too hot even when its chilly sometimes.

-werewolf blood tastes bad to vampires, like flat out, it tastes sour or like rotten meat

-kahjit and argonian werewolves are SO weird though, the mannerisms of kahjit get super thrown into whack because on one hand the tail moving COULD be bad, but then again, it could be they're just excited, the hearing is a huge issue too

-argonians lycanthrope forms being more feathery and still retaining their horns (maybe they become a bit more gnarled with it)

-lycanthrope nightmares are way more vivid than the nightmares of others, and what happens in them is extremely varied from person to person and its tough for them to tell if it was real or not at first, some get used to it, some don't.

-when the dragonborn is a werewolf its their roar that throws people off most, it is way louder than it has any right to be, even the companions are a little taken aback by it at first, on the bright side its much more effective at striking fear into people

255 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cottagehowell]

I posted 1,988 times in 2022

That's 454 more posts than 2021!

50 posts created (3%)

1,938 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/philsmeatylegss

@/videodromefag

@/orlamccools

@/hambubbie

@/j-esbian

I tagged 993 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags

#dnp - 189 posts

#dan - 89 posts

#phil - 82 posts

#ml - 60 posts

#words - 50 posts

#spn - 50 posts

#cats - 32 posts

#mcr - 31 posts

#gab - 27 posts

#dogs - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#luckily pink purple and blue are already my favorite colors so if they catch on i get to be like ‘what i’m not allowed to like colors???’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

when you have to respond to two classmates in the discussion thread but they all have the most shit takes imaginable

3 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#4

looking through old posts in the mass post editor. it really is wild to see my early dnp posts + neko atsume + my teen beach movie phase all together december 2015

6 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#3

okay I had been skeptical of Thomas being so into America and everything (as in he just has a romanticized view) but after seeing these pics of him in a gas station.......... he gets it

6 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

#2

i just got back from paris and i didnt get kissed by chat noir not even a little bit. SAD. oh well theres other cities

10 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Quick, drop one out of context Dan and/or Phil quote! Then send this to a few people so that we're all inundated with how freaking weird dnp are.

okay I've been sitting on this ask for almost 3 weeks and I just came across this post by chance:

https://deadandphilgames.tumblr.com/post/676249443640754176/some-out-of-context-bubblewrap-boys

(which I initially didn't realize was a bunch of clips cut together and thought they were just having a completely unintelligible conversation)

so I'm going with: "let's release some boys from the pipe"

12 notes - Posted March 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[melsyells]

Daiharu Moments Episodes 1-5

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

[lee-taeri]

I found you. Why did you just leave back then?

[f1nalboys]

Can i get a nsfw alphabet for stu?

I SURE FUCKING CANNNNNNNN <3love u anon

Stu Macher NSFW Alphabet

WORD COUNT: 1622

WARNINGS: nsfw, dark kinks listed, its stu so thats a warning, just proceed with caution

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Stu my beloved <3 he is great at aftercare in general, but he goes above and beyond when it comes to his long term partners. One night stands are different; it’s not that he purposely doesn’t do much to make sure they’re okay, it’s just that he…. Doesn’t see it *as* important, if that makes sense? When its someone he’s only seeing once he isn’t getting into anything super bad or dark so he doesn’t feel the need to do a full aftercare session. When it’s a long term partner then he will takes as long as they need to make sure they’re in a good headspace, he knows he can get a bit into it you know?

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For him, it’s his tongue 1 billion percent. I mean, Stu loves *all* of him and is super confident in his body but overall it’s his tongue. He can do a lot with it, can tease his partner or make them cry with pleasure, can put it on every inch of skin his partner allows, can talk a lot of shit. He’s multi-talented. As for his partner, it’s ass. He’s an ass guy, hate to be the one to break it to you all. ANY ass is perfect, though. Small one? Easy to grab. Big one? Gets to see it bounce when he’s fucking you from behind. 10/10 ass in general, you know?

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

God. Stu *loves* cumming on you. He’s a big fan of cumming in you too, of course, but theres something very…degrading about cumming on your face or chest or ass or stomach or (insert any body part here) that drives him wild. His fave place to cum though is cumming on your holes >:) if you have a pussy, he’s cumming *on* it. If he’s fucking you in the ass, he’s coming on your hole and then using his finger to push it inside you. AM I WRONG????? NEVER. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

`Stu doesn’t have many ‘secrets’ tbh, but one i say for pretty much every mf i write for is that they’re panty sniffers. Stu, however, steals them. All. The. Time. He rifles through your laundry at any given opportunity, even before you were together, and pockets a pair or two of your really dirty and old pairs because they smell (and taste) like you the most. You’ll never find those new lace thongs missing but you just always seem to misplace your old granny panties hehe

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Hot take but he’s not *that* experienced. I mean he has plenty of people under his belt but he definitely embellishes the number a bit to seem cooler hehe. But dont worry, this mf KNOWS what he’s doing! Hes a fast learner and takes care to make sure his partner is feeling good too so he doesn’t have any complaints thus far.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Doggy. That’s his favorite of all time. It’s only just rivaled by you riding him tbh but he prefers doggy because again, ass man.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It’s Stu we’re talking about. It’s goofy 75/25. NOW that being said, he can def be serious and he knows when to not crack a joke or two, he just likes when sex is lighthearted you know? His serious sessions tend to be on the meaner side especially since he’s the dom in those situations 9/10 times. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Pretty well groomed only because he gets too uncomfortable if he’s super hairy. Doesn’t care about his partners pubes though, literally the last thing he thinks about lol. Dark brown hair, a thin happy trail, hes sexy, etc 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Stu is way less romantic than you would think lol. He has his moments often but a majority of the time he’s simply interested in the fucking than the romance. Plus, Stu can get kind of mean and will forget to be romantic lolz

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Once a day minimum. Doesn’t matter if you two had sex five times that day, he *has* to jerk off before he goes to sleep. It helps him unwind really and it’s some alone time lol (a way to get kind of past this is by having him jerk off in front of you and THEN having sex. You get to fuck him and he gets his little solo thing out of the way in a more fun way)

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Sadism. Humiliation.  Dracryphilia. Corruption. Pegging. Sub/Dom. Predator/Prey. Knives. Blood. Degradation. Praise. Voyeurism. Cucking. Slut shaming/Misogyny (sorry). Choking. Spitting. Slapping. Roleplay. Bondage. Collaring. Face Fucking. Cages. Lowkey pet play (likes calling you his ‘puppy’ or ‘kitten’ sorry). So many more omg

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Public sex especially in the woods IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS. he also likes regular house sex but not in the bedroom <3 Likes bending you over in random places hehe

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

This would be a smaller list if it asked what DOESNT turn him on because the answer would be like 2 things LMFAO. But honestly he loves innocent looks and touches because of his corruption kink hehe he ALSO loves when you bend over in front of him or ‘accidently’ brush up against him when you’re moving past him

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bathroom stuff or vomit. It’s gross to him. You’d think he wouldn’t be into feet but he is look at him he looks like he sucks toes.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Receiving. He’s a god at giving but he has needs you know? Plus, he’s a fan of face fucking and likes it better when its just him and not 69ing.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough, 100%. He loves leaving bruises and marks and tear streaks on you by the time the first round it over tbh lol.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Biggest fan in the world <3 LOVES quickies, wants them all day every day fr. Plan for him to pull you into another room (if you’re lucky) and bare minimum go down on you or just pull your underwear to the side and make you bite your hand to stay quiet <3 Or not <3

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Huge risktaker!!!!!! He does not care if you two are caught fucking by other people and he’s going to make it apart of his dirty talk while you’re out. He wouldn’t do it in like,,,,SUPER public? Like fingering you under the table at a restaurant is cool but in a public park on a bench mid day is a no, you know? Now that same park at night….

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

At least 2 or 3 unless he’s super worked up or has been teasing for a super long time lol. He’s pretty average in length, it really depends on how horny he is and how long he’s been teasing yu

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Stu loves toys <3 Biggest collection you could ever see LMAO he has dozens of toys for himself, even more for his partners, he has a bunch of ‘special’ toys that cost him a pretty fucking penny hehe. Unless its a quickie or something, he’s gonna use at least ONE toy for the both of you 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease

….do we actually need to talk about this? Biggest fucking tease to ever exist i SWEAR he’s such an asshole

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Loud because he doesn’t shut the fuck up! H’es always talking and teasing and moaning and gasping, like…. Its actually impressive that he doesn’t lose his voice. You can gag him (he’s into it) but he’ll still be loud and whiney <3333

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

When Stu is punishing his partner he’ll make them watch him use a toy hehe. His fave thing to do is tie you up and putting the toy (a strap or a fleshlight, depending on his mood) on you and fucking it like it was u hehehe

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Don’t feel like doing this sorry baes <3

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Super high, higher than average. He has to cum at least once a day (like I mentioned) but he’s always. Thinking. About. Sex. he has to have a world record for longest porn scenario in head

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends on how long it lasted and how exhaustive it was. Like, a real quick in and out thing, he’ll be wide awake ready to go about his day still. A Ghostface roleplay that ended in a pretty rough chase? Out like a damn light

[actualbird]

which of the nxx boys can haggle?

wc: 1k

TIER 1: people who are sane and knowledgeable about purchasing

artem wing: can haggle but doesnt

artem knows how to haggle. hes seen his mother do it as he grew up and then he saw neil do it later on in his life and artem is a fast enough learner to understand how to do it himself.

however, when he was a child, his mother started giving him an allowance so he could learn how to manage finances. one day, he saw a snack he really wanted to buy with his own money but then it was Way Too Expensive. and so in the way all children do, hes like "why's it cost so much!" to which mrs. wing replies with "because of The Economy, baby."

and so artem decides to learn about The Economy and ends up with a pretty solid understanding of supply and demand, market trends, and other factors that go into the final price. he learns this all at AGE 10 and he decides that as long as all of these processes are done justly, the price is nothing to complain about ever.

and so he just doesnt haggle!!! but also, hes not somebody people wanna scam because fully grown artem wing at the supermarket exudes SUCH an intense and focused aura that stepping into that range surely deals immense psychic damage to anybody who has ill intent

-

luke pearce: can haggle and does

luke doesnt have to haggle. hes working so many fucking jobs (for fun?? for the benefit of satisfying his horrid urge to be a benefit for only other people???) and he does those jobs really damn well, so im sure hes got money!! but his personality just strikes me more as "if i can get it a lower price, i will, because it's a waste if you dont take that opportunity."

hes a pretty chill haggler tho. he'll smile and laugh and tease with the shop owner on how "i'll buy 3 more packs of these noodles if you bring the whole price down a bit, so technically, youre making more profit, yeah?" and honestly, his haggling works mostly because hes so earnest and charming and even if you do turn him down, he kinda just shrugs and goes "fair enough!" and buys what he was planning to buy anyway.

luke is unscammable tho. not bc of his vibes, mind you, cuz luke pearce's vibes (NOT agent raven's vibes, to be clear, thats a whole other animal) are vibes of a puppy that will apologize to YOU if you spill milk on his lap. hes got very kind vibes and that seems like a scammer's dream come true but nobody in stellis has the heart to scam him bc luke is often seen rummaging around trash cans or metal dumpsters

he is not dumpster diving for food. hes just curious if anybody threw out some cool appliances he can nab spare parts from or make into new gadgets. but stellis city doesnt know that. all they know is that the puppy boy who owns time's antiquities frequently sticks his head in the rubbish and theyre all collectively like "NOBODY SCAM HIM EVER, WE NEED TO PROTECT HIM"

-

TIER 2: i mean, it's one banana, rosa. what could it cost? 10 dollars?

marius von hagen: cant haggle and doesnt

marius is self aware enough to know that hes obscenely rich and does NOT know jackshit about small money management. like, hes great with money in large amounts. he knows the best amount of money for investments and stocks and how to plan finances long term for businesses, so he knows how money works!!!

he just doesnt know how it works at a 7/11

which usually isnt a problem. marius isnt the one doing most of the purchasing, thats left to the house staff or vincent, buuuuut when hes hanging out with mc, just the two of them, hes atlas carrying the world on his shoulders in regards to purchases.

theres a 50/50 percent chance mc will save him when hes having trouble figuring out how much to pay. she mostly saves him when hes about to do something wayy too stupid (like trade his horrendously expensive watch for an ice cream cone, HE ALMOST DID THIS IN CANON in Marius SSR Fabulous Feast) but anything less than that and hes on his own

which tbh, marius doesnt mind. it seems to make her happy seeing him fumble and be out of his element and also this is never gonna affect his funds. so if hes getting overcharged, it's never a problem

this does however mean that marius von hagen, when hanging out with a certain lawyer, is PRIME SCAM MATERIAL.

all of stellis city is like "when u see rich boy with the girl, GET HIS ASS"

vyn richter: cant haggle but does

[spoilers] vyn is of a royal lineage. hes the son of a duke. im damn sure that for all of his early life when he was still living in svart, he never had to purchase a gosh dang thing because all of it was done by house staff.

however, once vyn leaves svart and goes to stellis, he does have to learn quickly, so now hes not COMPLETELY naive. still, i cant imagine vyn richter walking around in like, a wet market or a bodega/cornerstore. i think vyn gets all of his food purchases from very upscale farmer's markets and all his other purchases in similarly hoity toity establishments.

so he can buy things. but his reference for how much things cost is HORRIBLY SKEWED by his luxurious upscale tastes. bring him to a garage sale and he will not know the general price of anything. he cant haggle

yet he does anyway, so he can be IMPRESSIVE. which he wants to be so much to the point that self awareness briefly exits his brain.

he haggles only around mc so he can be impressive cool. and he succeeds at looking impressive cool!!! in contrast to luke who is the chillest haggler ever, vyn channels such unsettling haggling energy that sellers can do nothing but agree to his terms.

but his terms.

are bad.

because since he doesnt know what normal shit costs, he actually ends up haggling the price WAY FUCKING HIGHER THAN IT ORIGINALLY WAS

vyn, smugly presenting mc with a banana he had haggled to 5x the original price: for you, my lady :)

mc: //trying so hard to not burst into laughter

(nobody is scamming vyn, they wouldnt be brave enough to....vyn is just continually scamming HIMSELF.....)

[marvelcriminalhoe]

Stumbling West

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Chapter 5

What They Say About Bikes

chapter summery: Training, dating, and bike rides.  i.e. season 7, episode 10 TW: talks of blood, death, typical criminal minds case jargon word count: 2,503

Series master list

Your lungs are on fire. With every breath you take, every time your lungs expand and deflate, the fire spreads, getting warmer, hotter. The coldish air still lingering in the morning daze outside does not help with the fire raging inside, and this is all Jack Garrett’s fault.

Though, he would tell you that you actually just need to run more, and he wouldn’t be wrong, but you don’t usually run 5 miles, in 60 degree weather, first thing in the morning. You haven’t even had your cup of coffee yet.

You also don’t run 5 miles in the field, so you don’t beat yourself up too much, for being so winded this morning.

Jack Garrett convinced you to run the FBI triathlon with him in a few months, with the promises that it would A. Be fun, B. Allow you guys to workout together, and C. Give you something to brag about.

But right now you are A. Not having fun, B. Having to workout alone because Jack is on a case, and C. Not bragging, because you realize you suck and instead will probably make a fool of yourself.

You finally finish your last lap around the park closest to your apartment, coming to a complete stop and resting your hands on your knees.

That’s supposed to help you breathe better right? Or are you supposed to put them on your head?

As you are debating the best method of getting the most oxygen back into your body, a pair of black running shoes come into your line of vision. Slowly ranking your eyes up the persons body to see who this intruder of space is, you come into contact with none other than Aaron fucking Hotchner, in all of his amazing glory.

See, your small attraction you had on your stoic, and yet, surprisingly charming boss, has slowly grown into a full blown, am I back in middle school, type of crush. Maybe it’s all of the sarcastic comments he makes under his breath during cases, that only you can here, or perhaps it has something to do with all those late nights you’ve been spending in his office, helping him with paperwork while bonding over Chinese takeout, or maybe, it’s that he is so attractive, and he doesn’t even know it, that it just makes him even more attractive.

He might be the person your closest to on the team. You’re both sarcastic, workaholics, with control issues. You are able to bond over similar trauma in a way no one else on the team would understand, except for maybe Rossi.

You’ve opened up to him a little about your late husband Zack. How you met your second year of college, his last, how you quickly fell in love, and, despite both of your parents wishes, we’re married 5 months later. He joined the CIA a year after your marriage, which would inevitably, lead to the catastrophic downfall of your relationship.

He similarly, opens up to about Haylee. How they met in high school and got married after graduating. How hard it was when he decided to leave his prosecution job and join the FBI. How scared he was when he found out she was pregnant with Jack.

Though, neither of you have opened up about the events of their deaths. The pain of losing your spouses, years before someone should. You both know each others stories, his from the team gossip, and yours from your file. Instead your talks are more about a bittersweet reminiscing, with someone that will actually understand, without the fear that they will push a boundary you aren’t ready for. You know it’s been 2 years for him since he lost Haylee, and going on 4 years for you, since you lost Zack, but theres not this pressure to talk about something you don’t want to. Boundaries were set long before either of you knew each other, and that safety in your relationship, is something you didn’t even know you needed.

He clears his throat, drawing you away from your thoughts, and you realize you’ve been staring at him like a fish out of water. He has a cocky little smirk on his face that makes you either want to roll your eyes or kiss it off.

You go for the former option. Sadly.

You take in his attire, running shorts and a fitted running long sleeve, that’s pushed passed his elbows, he doesn’t appear to be out of breath, and you can’t help but be envious, “Have you just started?”

His cocky smirk turns into an amused grin, “No. Just finished 6 miles.”

You frown at him.

6 miles. 6 miles and he looks like that? Did he even break a sweat? Does he even know what sweat is?

Scoffing, you can’t help but roll your eyes again, “Who are you, Jason Bourne? Why aren’t you out of breath like me? I ran one less mile than you.”

Laughing, he ignores your question for one of his own, “Why are you running 5 miles on a cold morning?”  

You put your hands on your hips, breathing better than a few minutes before, “Garrett convinced me to run some stupid triathlon with him in a few months. But now I’m forced to workout alone because if he’s not on a case, we are.”

Hotch raises an eyebrow at you, “That wouldn’t happen to be the FBI triathlon, would it?”

“Yeah.” You tell him questioningly, before it clicks in your brain, “No way. You’re doing it to? Oh that’s just great. Is everyone that’s doing it as in shape as you? Because I might as well drop out now.”

He laughs, shaking his head at you, “You’re not dropping out, I’m sure you’ll do fine. You still have a few months to train.”

“I’ve been training for the last 2 already.” You deadpan.

He grimaces, “How’s your swimming and biking?”

“Swimming is the best, my dad lives on the lake so I can practice in open water, though I’ll need to move indoors soon with the weather dropping. My biking is okay, we don’t have much time to really do that with our job and it’s faster to squeeze a run in before work.”

He nods along with you, “I feel the same way. My swimming is okay, I go to the Y, but my biking could use some work.” He places his hand on his hips, looking at you up and down, taking you all in, “Do you need some water?”

Oh my god he really is an angel.

“Please.” You graciously accept.

He nods towards the parking lot, silently telling you to follow him to his car. You both make light chatter about your mornings and where you usually run. Apparently this is also where he runs, his apartment being 5 minutes away, yours 10, just both in opposite directions.

When you get to his SUV he opens the back and grabs one of the water bottles from the case he keeps back there, for you, before also grabbing one for himself.

You take it gratefully, the water soothing any left over burn in your throat, before Hotch sets his own water down, clearing his throat, “You know, if you ever want to train together, I plan on going to a bike trail-“ He gets cut off from finishing, when his phone rings. Pulling it out of his pocket he shows you the screen. Garcia.

Bad guys ruin everything.

“Wait so you asked her out?” Rossi questions him

Aaron knew he shouldn’t have said anything, Rossi is not subtle, and he has been hinting at him, more like demanding him, for the past few weeks to make a move on you. He’s refusing to take the excuse that Aaron is your boss and that it would be extremely inappropriate.

“I didn’t ask her out, we bumped into each other and she’s training for the same triathlon.” Hotch repeats himself.

Rossi scoffs at him, “Oh come on Aaron, that’s your in!”

“That is not my in.” Aaron deadpans. “I need to focus on my training, not be distracted.”

“Yes, you should be distracted, distraction is good. Office romance even better, take it form someone who’s had a few.” Rossi argues.

Aaron rolls his eyes at him, not dignifying his comment with a response, though that doesn’t stop Rossi from making another one, “And you know what they say about riding a bicycle.”

That makes Aaron give his friend an exhausted look as they both walk into the conference room.

“Who’s getting a Bicycle?” Reid asks from his spot by you. Aaron is praying his cheeks don’t heat up as he watches you look up at Reid confused, not having heard the conversation between Aaron and Rossi.

“Nobody.” Aaron has to try and not clear his throat, that would be a giveaway, “Let’s get started.”

You are sitting on the couch with JJ on the plane, while Garcia is on the laptop cam, Rossi, Reid, Emily, and Derek, at the table.

“Ok, Rossi, out with it.” Garcia draws your attention from the tablet in your hands, “Is Hotch dating?”

Rossi leans forward, “I. Don’t. Know.”

“You know statistically, widowed men start dating much faster than females, but Hotch is refuting the data. It's been two years and nineteen days.” You don’t even question Reid when he gives you the exact amount of time.

“Leave it alone.” You tell the gossip table, going back to your tablet. Honestly, you don’t want to talk about if he’s dating or not. Your stupid crush making you jealous at the idea that it could be true.

Wouldn’t he tell you? Maybe you’re not as close as you thought. Is that what your upset about? No.

Your command doesn’t stop Garcia from continuing the conversation as if she never heard you, “Venus has aligned with Mars which means love is in the air and maybe we will have weekends off.”

You see Hotch out of the corner of your eye, come out of the cockpit from talking to the pilot, and Derek clears his throat to try and stop Garcia, though he’s not fast enough, “What? Is he standing there? He's standing there isn't he?”

He leans down so she can see him, “Hello Garcia.” Before he takes a seat on the arm of the couch by you.

You both make eye contact, yours giving away amusement, his mock exhaustion, before Garcia begs someone to start talking about the case.

“I talked to the M.E. It turns out Sam was hit with a pipe about 10 times. Bruce was beaten over 30.” Reid tells you and Hotch as he walks into the conference room you were given at the precinct.

“That’s a drastic change.” You state, “Could be from the adrenaline.”

Hotch furrows his brows, continuing off of your thought, “Or an extremely high endurance level.”

“Could be overkill.” Derek says walking into the room with JJ.

“Doesn’t that usually mean there’s a personal relationship?” You ask, no one in particular.

Hotch nods at you, “If the victims didn’t know each other, it’s unlikely the unsub knew them.”

JJ crosses her arms, “So what would account for this level of blood-letting?”

“It could be about the blood itself.” Reid supply’s, “If he’s enjoying the killing, then he’s getting aroused by it and developing a kind of blood lust.”

You can’t control how your face scrunches up at the thought, as Hotch side eyes you. You see a ghost of a smile painting his face, his clear amusement for your antics.

Worth being grossed out.

Your at your desk, the case wrapping up fairly quickly, as you see Rossi leave Hotch’s office. He has a satisfied smile on his face, so you know whatever argument they may have had, he won.

You gather your after action report, along with everyone else’s, (they left them with you so they wouldn’t have to face Hotch after the plane embarrassment.) and make your way up to his office.

You knock on the door panel as He hangs up the phone gesturing you in, “Here’s all the reports.”

Raising an eyebrow at you he asks, “How did you get stuck turning everyone’s in?”

“They pulled seniority.” You reply flatly, but there’s no malice in your voice.

He gives you a soft smile and you return one, before turning around to head out the door. Your stopped by Hotch clearing his throat, making you turn back around with a questioning gaze.

“I was wondering, if your not busy tomorrow, if you would like to go on a bike ride.” His voice is soft, and if you weren’t a profiler, you would have missed the slight waver in the beginning.

Is he nervous?

He continues before you have the chance to answer him, “I just know you said you don’t have a lot of time for biking.”

You nod your head a few times, before giving him a shy smile, “Yeah. What time should I meet you?”

He looks almost shocked you agreed, before quickly masking it, “Is 9 good?”

“It’s perfect. See you then.” Really praying he can’t tell how flustered you are by him as you turn away, he only makes you more flustered by the whispered, “See you,” you hear as you walk out the door.

You and Hotch are both competitive. Extremely competitive. And what you were thinking would be a peaceful bike ride, quickly turned into a bike race, which you sadly lost.

But, you did just spend you an hour in the park, with your very attractive boss, who is in very attractive bike shorts, where he was smiling, the whole time. So you’re not too torn up about loosing.

You are now at a coffee shop, splitting a big muffin together, “Oh please, you completely cut me off at the end so I couldn’t pass you.”

Hotch chuckles at you, “You could have passed if you were determined.”

“And get whacked by a tree? No thank you.” Causing you both to laugh.

“I had fun today.” He tells you, very softly as if it was a secret he wasn’t sure he wanted to share.

Smiling at him, you speak the same way, “Me to, Hotch”

“Aaron.”

“Pardon?” You question, not thinking you heard him right.

“You can call me Aaron, outside of work.” You can tell he is unsure with himself, so you reach across the table and grab the piece of muffin that was in his hand, before repeating yourself, “Alright. I had a good time with you today to, Aaron.” Eating the piece of muffin you stole.

He shakes his head at your antics, “I was going to suggest doing this again, but I don’t know if I can be around someone who steals my breakfast.”

You lean towards the table, taking another piece of the muffin, “It’s called sharing, Aaron, get used to it.”

And little do you know, Aaron thinks to himself, I already have.

[syubub]

What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!