#theres just this desire to meet them again

[bearsandboobs]

Mmm at a certain point you (I) have to accept that for some relationships there is no closure. That some friendships, and could have been romance, or romantic relationships will fizzle out, or have unexplained inextricable endings. That acceptance doesn't negate the grief, or the losses.

I still have complicated feelings of love, fondness, all the "what-ifs". But I need to accept that reaching out to those, who have changed so much since our departures from each other's lives, will not bring me closure and satisfaction as i seek it. Not all lost friends are lose ends that must be weaved in. I will savor what we once had, and know that it may never be what it once was. That in and of itself can be a gift.

If i once knew you, and we haven't talked in ages. I remember you. You will always be a part of me, and my life. I wish you contented, fulfilling, love-filled existences! I wish you a bright life and a wonderful future! Thank you for sharing yourself with me for whatever time we had together❤️

[therightbeaches]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭 ⋆ 𝐚. 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫

synopsis: following a near-encounter with death, your not-quite-boyfriend slash boss takes it upon himself to take care of you. [5.7k] contents: fem!bau!reader, reader was mentioned to be hurt but no gory descriptions about what happened, but theres semi-graphic (?) descriptions of hypothetical injury, first kiss, soft hotch, this is fully self-indulgent fluff (forgive me) a/n: i've never written for criminal minds before and i am rather nervous so please dont criticize too harshly :') + i tried to not make him too ooc (not sure how well that worked out.) i also beg for one-shot requests because i love writing them :p reblogs and comments are more than appreciated ♡ i hope you enjoy!

Sense by sense you come to.

Taste. On your tongue lingers the metallic taste of blood. It coats your throat thick like petroleum jelly. The aftertaste of artificial sweetener. Saccharine.

Smell. It’s sterile, alcohol swabs. Dully sweet like laundry. Coffee and creamer. So good and warm it’s nauseating.

Hearing. Steady beeping somewhere from your right. The rustle of fabric. Birdsong bleeds through thick walls. A phone rings, shrill and stark amongst the dull hustle and bustle outside of your room, and a woman speaks unintelligibly.

Touch. A pinprick tag itches against the back of your neck. Scratchy cotton sheets and a gauzy blanket and a too-flat pillow. Then a slow-burning hurt that climbs through your limbs like being devoured by flame, and you think that if you didn’t already meet your end then this must be what it’s like.

Your eyes blink open. The fluorescent lights above are too bright for you to see anything. Metal clinks as someone opens the curtains, then, Aaron’s face comes into your view in a hazy blur. He has a big bandage on his left cheek and prominent dark circles but otherwise looks well enough.

“Hello,” he says, and a warm paper cup of coffee is pushed into your stiff hands. “How do you feel?”

“Bad.”

“I know. I’m sorry. How much does it hurt?”

“Um... a six and a half. I mostly feel really out of it.”

“They’ve given you as much painkillers as they can. I bet that the brain fog will lift once you have something solid to eat.”

You push yourself up slowly as he edges into focus. In one hand he has a black duffel bag with your old shirt’s dirty sleeve hanging out of the zipper top, white fabric stained rust-brown with dirt and old blood. In the other, a thick manila folder with a seal adorning the front and his pen shoved into the crease.

There’s a strange silence then; strange within itself and strange in the fact that, with him, silence is never strange. His lips twitch downwards: he can feel it too. Then he inhales sharply as though it stings to speak.

“You were more than brave out there. You saved Julia’s life.”

“Thank you. That’s what I wanted to do.”

Your tone must not be convincing enough because he puts the bag down and curls his fingers around the half-rails of your bed, reinforces the idea with a pointed look and sighs, “I��m being serious. We wouldn’t have made it in time to help her without your courage.”

“Thank you,” you say again, milder this time.

He doesn’t say anything further. He doesn’t need to. The sort of unspoken communication that blossoms with time and effort; he looks out for you, and in turn you look out for him. It’s the same for the rest of the team, of course, but it’s no coincidence that you’re the one he always picks to watch his six in the field. And, again, he needn’t speak for you to know. Perhaps born from the innate desire to wane the burn of vulnerability; words stamped across his skin invisible to the untrained eye.

It’s different this time, though. He’s leaving not because he wants to — rather, he has to, stolen away from you as you were him by your profession (a whole thirty-six hours he had to spend without you around to nag him, what a tragedy it was!) You’d expected him to come just to leave since the moment you saw him, but perhaps foolishly, you’d clung to a shard of hope that’d cut up and bloodied your palms. You rub them together self-consciously.

He waves the folder in the air unenthusiastically and, despite him knowing you’ve already put the pieces together, voices it anyway.

“I can’t really stay for long,” he says simply.

“Where are you going?”

A prompt, disguised by niceties in typical fashion, though entirely unnecessary with him: when will I be able to see you again?

He sucks on his teeth and flips the folder open. “Albany. I think a day or two at most and we’ll be back.” He spares the details of the case lest you worry yourself to your grave. Your recent brush with death has already been nearly too much for the team to handle.

You don’t mean to slip into the habit of doubting him, not Aaron, who knows better than to lie to you because always he’ll splinter, crack, then crumble into a fine powder under the weight of your gaze. He’s smart, so smart, and so perceptive and by God if you know anything, you know him — down to the lines of his fingerprints and each individual eyelash across his waterlines, and you know now that something is troubling him.

“What is it?” you ask.

His brows crease in the center like you’ve said something offensive. “What is what?”

“You’re sulking.”

“I’m not,” he says, sounding like he’s sulking.

He knows something that you don’t and he doesn’t want to tell you — evident through the bob of his Adam’s apple with a thick swallow, the whitening of his knuckles around the bed’s guard rails. You give your cup a perfunctory squeeze and the plastic lid pops off and skitters to the ground.

There’s another silence wherein you wait, he waits too, staring at you dumbly. An eternity passes till he brushes his thumb over the length of your forearm, elbow to wrist, then traces the ridges of your knuckles before letting his arm drop limply to his side. He looks around to make sure nobody is within earshot and draws the blue privacy curtains around your bed to enforce extra precaution.

“I was just worried,” he finally says, his voice lowered. “I still am, honestly. You know, seeing you like… this.” Like, sick and weak, strung up with IVs like a puppet and unable to move without strain. “And I don’t want to leave you,” he adds as an afterthought.

In the presence of other agents, doctors, strangers, he’s a professional. He knows how to keep things curt and platonic, but when it’s just you and him, I missed you, I was worried about you, I need you around, I can’t lose you.

The way he speaks to you makes you feel something. He worries about you every moment you’re on the field. He frets over you when you’re ill, misses you when you’re apart, thinks about you all the time. Long ago you’d passed the threshold between mere team members to friends, and now, you’re touching base with what’s next. Beyond friends. Borderline lovers. Whatever that could mean for you. And the vulnerability in his voice strikes you, making him sound so small, so pained by your pain.

“You don’t need to worry,” you say, hoping to soothe his qualms. “I feel alright.”

“I can’t help it. I thought... I don’t know what I thought.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” is your light response, then a switch of the topic, and you ask again, “Will you tell me about the case?”

He puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder, then it moves to push your hair out of your eyes. Lingers in a soft caress on your cheek and your palm fits over the back of it when you lift your hand to cover his.

“Like I said, I think it’ll only be a couple days. Don’t stress yourself out over it. I want you to focus on getting better, alright?”

“Can you call me?” you ask.

“Every chance I get.”

And, trapped in the makeshift prison of your hospital bed, you can only croak out a weak goodbye that scratches your throat as you watch him leave.

⊹₊ 𐙚

It’s been a week since they discharged you from the hospital, assigned a lot of rest and fluids. Seldom a word from Aaron, though, and you, too, are beginning to fret just like he had over you. Your cuticles are peeled from existence, you’ve bit your nails too short and raw and red, your lips are chapped to the point your mouth tastes of metal more often than not.

Penelope has been more than kind and has kept you company in your too-empty apartment, even bringing over the case file and a grainy image of the evidence board sent over by the rest of the team for your viewing pleasure. You didn’t have much of value to add and ended up feeling more useless than you were to begin with.

Now, your gaze is trained on the toes of your too-big socks. A seam is misaligned along the top and the heel has pulled up to the back of your ankle. And you think of him. He’s all you can think about as of late. Feels something like nausea crawling up your throat to think of something happening to him.

Nervous. On edge. Sick with worry. He said one or two days. It’s been six and counting, who knows what could have happened to him out there, he was being secretive about it and he’s never secretive with you. Not you, why wouldn’t he tell you what was happening? Why wouldn’t he let on any details about the case? What if he’d anticipated getting hurt or —

You don’t dare entertain the thought. The only reason you’d imagined it up in the first place is because it happened to you. In the end, you’re still very much human no matter how much bureaucratic authority you have. That’s to say, you’re very much flesh and blood and bone, and from the safety of your apartment Aaron is even more so when he’s out on the field. Flesh can be cut, torn apart, blood can spill unstoppably like a faucet, bone can shatter into a million unfixable pieces. A bulletproof vest will do nothing against a knife jammed into his neck or a shotgun to the back of his head. You shudder and tug at your socks to un-bunch them from your heels.

In the middle of your bout of overthinking, the lock on your door clicks and turns and it swings open with a quiet creak. Aaron stands in the doorway, backlit by the dingy lights outside, akin to an angel with the cast of his hair and the contours of his face dipped in shadow.

“Hello? Honey, I have something for you,” is the first thing he says, the silhouette of his arm twisted to hide something behind his back. From his other hand dangles his go-bag, which falls to the floor of your living room with a dull thud. He peels out of his jacket and tosses it over the back of a chair.

The relief chokes you. Strangles you till you’re blue in the face. You’re struck speechless and can only watch as he pushes the door closed behind him and tosses the keys into the catchall on the hall table, toes off his shoes, then comes over to sit with you on the couch. Plastic crinkles behind his back as he moves closer.

“I’ve got something,” he says again. “A present for you.”

“Aaron-”

“Before you say I didn’t need to, I wanted to,” he interjects, waving a hand to stop you. “I saw them while I was out and thought of you.”

“The anticipation is killing me.”

All turbulent emotions vanish like morning dew on a sunny afternoon, your heart thrumming hard against the confinement of your ribs. You let yourself think it’s only because you’re just excited to see him in good spirits, certainly not because he places a hand on your knee and squeezes lightly, or looks at you with poorly-concealed adoration in his gaze, or the knowledge of the fact he thinks of you often enough to go out of his way to get you something nice.

From behind his back, he produces a bouquet of pink roses wrapped neatly in a matching shade of cellophane with a flourish and you nearly fall to the ground. He’s brought you flowers. Roses. He saw roses while he was out and they made him think of you, and that thought alone nearly has you knocked out cold.

You’re able to mutter his name before you reach for his shoulders for a hug, and he lets out a small huff as he’s pushed down to lay back on the couch with your arms around him.

“Consider this my apology for being too busy to call,” he murmurs.

“Thank you,” you say, breathless. “Consider your apology accepted.”

His free hand rubs up and down your back, lingering flush to the space between your shoulder blades to press you close to his chest. “How have you been?”

“I’m okay.”

“Yeah? Has Garcia been taking good care of you?”

You nod into his shoulder. “You know her.”

“That I do. Do you have a vase that I can put your flowers in?”

“There’s one in the kitchen cabinet.”

But he doesn’t yet stand to retrieve it, too engrossed in the warmth of your hug. This is not how a boss acts with his subordinate. Not even how a friend would act. If he were just a friend he wouldn’t come to you first, because your space is his space, and he wouldn’t have brought you a really nice bouquet, and he wouldn’t find such comfort in your embrace and the smell of your perfume that he goes slack under you. Him and you, always, together.

A moment passes and he shifts out from beneath you. You watch him get up with remorse, his hand holding onto yours till the distance draws his fingers away.

“You know,” he begins, rummaging around in your cabinets to find the aforementioned vase, “I’ve been honing in on my cooking skills.”

“That so?” you ask from the sofa, jelly-limbed with your neck craned to watch him.

“I can make stir fry if you want dinner.” His arm retracts from the cabinet, hand around the neck of your vase.

So he cooks for you. Insists upon it, even. Even though the hospital cleared you fine to go home and you feel more or less well, he insists on taking care of you. You let him. Maybe for his peace of mind. A chance to take care of you just like you’ve taken care of him countless times before. You won’t pretend to not like having him dote on you.

The roses sit between you, lit by warm candlelight because the overhead light buzzes too loud and the bulb flickers when you turn it on. It’s sweet and it’s romantic, shit, you really shouldn’t be getting so personally involved with your boss. The no-fraternization rules implemented by the Bureau higher-ups have been hammered into your skull since the day you joined, yet just look at you. Too late for go-backs now.

Over the table, you say, “You can stay the night, if you want to.”

It’s not that you’re implying anything because you’re not, voice void of sexual innuendo. He doesn’t seem to take it in such a way anyway. His gaze meets yours and he draws closer with a hand curled like a cage atop yours.

“I will,” he replies. “If you want me to.”

“I do.”

He’s slept over before a secret half-a-dozen or so times, mostly on the couch. Only in your bed once. That one time was after you’d came home from a particularly bad case, and it was the second time you’d seen him as upset as he was. Beaten black and blue, scraped up worse than he’s ever been on the job. You’d diligently cleaned his wounds up (always too proud to sit in the back of an ambulance and let a professional take care of it), sat with him until he fell asleep, then you never spoke of it again.

Tonight he sleeps beside you. Blissfully unaware to the way you stare at his profile — the line of his nose, the mess of his hair where it’s fallen over his forehead, the way the light catches on his fluttering lashes and turns them a pale blue. The back of your knuckles run against his cheekbone. Tender, soft, so unlike most anything else he knows now.

He’s beautiful. All of you belongs to him.

You stir to Aaron’s heavy arm draped across your abdomen and crack one eye open to see him staring at you. The room is warm, sunshine spilling over his back to paint him shining gold, and the tip his of nose presses against your neck when he sees you’re awake. He must’ve gotten up before you woke because you can smell fresh-cut grass from the open window and the scent of coffee brewing floats in from the kitchen, and from outside you can hear the humming drone of a lawnmower, the song of morning birds chirping.

“Did I wake you up?” he asks, more a murmur than anything.

You shake your head no. A part of you — the small part that yearned for his care and attention long before now — is awestruck. You’ve got Aaron in your bed, the same Aaron who bleeds and hurts and fights beside you, the man who hadn’t wanted you on the team in the first place, and he’s touching you like you’re made of glass.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

“I’m okay for now,” you reply.

“Are you sure, honey? I can cut up some fruit for you. You could do with some vitamins… maybe some sun, too.” Mournfully, he gets up from bed, leaving you with only the warmth of the sheets where he lay just a moment ago. You watch, blinking slow, breathing slow.

“I’m really fine,” you insist meekly, pulling the blankets up to your chin.

With hands planted on either side of your head, he leans back over you in bed, brows pulled in concern like you’re still bedridden in the hospital. His thumb ghosts over the delicate skin of your undereye, then lower, feather-light down the slope of your jaw and to where your collarbone peeks out from the neck of your shirt.

“I’ll bring you a bowl,” he says, disregarding the rejection.

And then he kisses you before he leaves to the kitchen. Nothing full-fledged, only a brief press of his lips to your cheek, but it renders a swell in your gut, too hot beneath your quilt, breathless like your heart is going to rip straight out of your chest and chase him down to kiss him again. The print of his lips burns white-hot. A brand on your skin.

He pauses in the threshold of your bedroom and looks back. “I’m sorry if that was… weird.”

“No! No, it wasn’t weird. I liked it, actually.”

“Oh, okay.”

Aaron fusses over you incessantly the entire day, from cutting your fruit up to holding your hand to help you to the couch, despite your insistence that you’re fully recovered. He isn’t so used to putting his feelings so brashly on display, but you’ve been walking this tightrope between friends and more for a while and it’s no secret he wants it. Wants you. Wants whatever you may have to offer. No matter if you’re well or not, he’ll want you.

“Thank you,” you say over lunch, picking idly at the tangerine he’d peeled for you. “For staying with me, I mean.”

He lifts his head. He’s opened the window above your sink, citing the lovely weather and your need for sunshine as his reasons for letting the bugs in, and it makes his eyes shine from his seat facing the sun.

You’re like a vampire, he had said. Don’t get me wrong, definitely a beautiful and kind one, but fresh air will do you good, then he’d laughed as he stood in the spill of warmth exuding from the open window.

In his hand is the other half of the tangerine, which he assiduously peels the spongy pith from and discards in a small heap atop your dining table.

“I hope you know that I don’t mind.” Aaron breathes out and hands you two slices stripped of their white viscera. “I like taking care of you. Every so often someone get hurts on the field and it never gets more comfortable to deal with. It makes me feel… good to be here with you.”

“That’s really nice of you to say.”

“It’s only the truth.”

You’ve been better for the greater part of a week and no longer need babying like you did at the start, you think, but withhold on commenting for fear that he thinks you don’t like having him around. You more than like it, really, and you like it even more when he leans over the table enticingly.

He’s smiling widely when he speaks. “And the company is the best part.”

“Even if the company is a vampire?” You touch the side of his throat, flush over his jugular where a vampire might bite. His heart thrums hard beneath the pads of your fingers when you push down with the faintest pressure.

“Even so.”

⊹₊ 𐙚

“Can I see you in my office? There’s something that I want to talk to you about.”

You stand from your desk. Aaron — rather, Hotch, because you’re at work — has been staring at you through his window the entire morning like a reverse-scenario zoo animal in an enclosure. It’s been unsettling to feel someone’s eyes on you perpetually but you let it slide because you know he’s just worried. He made it very clear that he didn’t want you coming back to the office so soon, for worry you might bump a fading bruise on the exceedingly dangerous desks in the bullpen or injure your back further by sitting in the expensive, cushy roller chair.

It’s an overcast Monday in light of your sunny weekend. Aaron had messaged you at five-thirty in the morning, insisted heavily that if you intended on coming in today then it had better be with a warm coat on. You’d come to a tentative middle ground via a knit sweater that he likes because Emily runs cold and makes sure the whole office knows it (Seriously, you can’t remember the last time she’d allowed it to be less than the low eighties, and most of the team would rather bear the heat than listen to her gripe about how cold it is. Today, it’s freezing. The heat is broken and you figure you’ll have to deal with it once she comes in.)

He’s waiting for you when you step in and close the door behind you, drawing the blinds. “How are you?”

“I’m well. I’d be better if you’d stayed home to rest.”

“I promise I’m recovered enough for desk work, Aaron.”

He grumbles with no real upset and beckons for you to come around the other side of his desk. When you do and lean back with palms braced over the lip, a broad hand slips around your waist to touch your back. He drops it quickly. So unprofessional, you might tease, if you weren’t so pleased with the fact that he’s unabashedly touching you at work.

Something in the air has shifted. Following the night you spent together, it’s as if the spark between you has turned into a real firecracker, a sparkling dazzle of neon color and fizzling light. He’d left Saturday afternoon after a lot of coaxing that you’d be alright alone, made you promise you’d eat real food and not just cereal and frozen pizza and TV dinners. Most importantly, he wouldn’t leave without kissing you silly all over your cheeks and forehead and jaw. And when you’d anticipated the killing blow and closed your eyes and parted your lips, he’d bid you goodbye with an affectionate pat to your shoulder.

It was cruel, but you don’t mind waiting for a real kiss. The riper the fruit, the sweeter the juice, isn’t that what they say? This thing, for lack of a better word, with Aaron being as discernible as it is, is still relatively new. Not to mention he’s navigating romance for the first time again after Haley, so you’re more than willing to take it slow with him.

“What did you do over the rest of the weekend?” he asks conversationally.

“You know, the ushe.” You tuck your cold hands between your knees, press your lips together like you’re really devastated by the answer you’d come up with. “I laid around feeling sorry for myself, missing you…” you trail off, wistful.

“You poor thing,” Aaron responds sympathetically. “What can I do?”

You lean forward with a mock show of great sadness, though not without an underlying coquettish, hopeful demeanor. “The only thing that would make it all better is dinner later tonight with someone special.”

“What a coincidence. I was just thinking of asking my own someone special if she wanted to get takeout and spend the night at mine after work.”

It’s awful, the way he’s staring at you and beaming. Like you’re the one who hung all the stars in the sky, crafted the constellations just for him; like you control the tide of the ocean and the spin of the Earth; like you’re the light that makes the moon glow. Makes you want to grab him by his hand and bring him back to your place and never let him leave the comfort of your apartment. Keep him safe and warm and content.

You settle instead on smoothing his lapels down. He isn’t propositioning you when he asks you to stay over — never would he be so blatant, and you don’t think you’re quite involved enough yet for such a risqué offer to be on the table (though the notion has you imagining a torturous handful of things that you wouldn’t dream of telling him about.)

“Tell you what,” he begins. He moves his chair to be positioned in front of you. You have to look directly down to see him face-to-face. “We’ll pick up some dinner and we can watch whatever movie you like. Do you have your go-bag?”

“I do... and if I want to watch Mean Girls?”

“I’ll watch anything you want,” he supplies.

“Oh, how sweet are you?”

“Don’t tell anyone. My professional reputation would be ruined.”

Truth be told, there is a prominent lack of ‘professional reputation’ in Aaron’s department, at least within the team. He can pretend as much as he likes for as long as he likes but it’s their specialty to sniff out lies, pick up on secret cues, and of course they notice when he comes into the office with two cups of coffee instead of one, when he holds your hand to help you up the steps of the jet. You’ve received enough conspiratorial looks to know that they know.

You don’t suppose Aaron is your boyfriend. Your relationship with him is a nuanced thing. Becoming the brunt of office gossip is one thing, jeopardizing your careers is another — Strauss has her suspicions and there’s been, well… talk that stokes the (albeit small) kindling flame. It comes down to having a discussion that will remain on the back burner until the both of you can sit down and discuss the professional implications and the other difficult things that Aaron doesn’t want to talk about.

Dark has long since encompassed the Bureau by the time that he decides to be done working. You’ve been waiting on the couch in his office for the better part of the day, his suit jacket draped over your legs fashioned into an impromptu blanket. And then there’s the shuffling of loose-leaf paper shoved into folders, the scratch of his chair’s wheels as he pushes it in.

The toes of his shiny oxfords come into view and a kind hand pushes a loose lock of hair out of your face. “Are you ready?”

He wedges his hand beneath the small of your back to get you up. You’re tired from your day and limp when he encourages you to sit, but ultimately allow him to prop you up against the back of the couch. You take his hand to stand up when he offers it to you.

One and a half years ago, he wouldn’t dream of holding your hand. Wouldn’t even sit next to you in the conference room or on the jet, in fact. But Aaron didn’t really start liking liking you until eight months ago and didn’t tell you for even longer. It took him a long while to gather the courage to come out and just say it like any normal adult with feelings might do.

If you told your former self you’d wind up holding hands with Unit Chief SSA Aaron Hotchner, going home to eat dinner with him and sleep in his bed, you’d have laughed in your own face. The most you’d ever let yourself indulge in such a fantasy prior to his grandiose confession of more than friendly feelings was maybe, just maybe, in an alternate timeline you’d met Aaron under different circumstances and it would have been history.

But you have him in this timeline. You have him picking up your dinner, driving you to his house, crouching down in front of you to undo the buckles keeping the straps of your kitten heels fastened around your ankles. He rubs your calf after tucking your shoes away before he stands and walks to the kitchen.

“What a long day,” he comments. He loosens the knot of his tie and looks over at you over his shoulder. “For you especially, I imagine. Does it get tiring, laying on the couch in my office?”

“Mhm,” you hum agreeably. “A very long day of very grueling paperwork. My boss can’t stop assigning me more and more when there are other agents who could share the workload.”

You know Aaron is smiling, even as he’s faced with his back to you. It’s clear in his voice. “Maybe your boss just thinks you’re very diligent and produce quality work.”

“That sounds to me a lot like favoritism, Hotchner.” You saunter up behind him, draping your arms around his waist. He tears apart the plastic bag holding your food then separates portions onto two ceramic plates.

“Uh-huh,” he says wryly. “You see, honey, favoritism would be more like if I let a member of my team quote unquote lay down to rest her eyes on my sofa instead of doing her work like I very kindly asked — oh wait, doesn’t that sound familiar?”

“So I am your favorite? Ooh, how scandalous. Imagine if word got out that you were picking favorites.”

“I must be doing something wrong if you have to ask.” Aaron turns and puts a hand on the back of your neck, scoffs, shakes his head good-naturedly. This mood he’s in, playful, teasing, is so rare, and you love it. “Do you ever see me letting Morgan take a nap during work hours?”

“Derek will nap regardless if you let him or not.”

(This is true. You’d caught him sleeping in the conference room once. He’d made you swear not to tell Aaron in exchange for vending machine money — and who were you to deny such a generous offer? Your silence was easily bought via chocolate bars.)

“In that case, I might have to give him a stern talking to.” His expression is grim.

“Oh, please don’t. He gave me money to buy candy from the machines if I swore not to tell you.”

Aaron is delighted by this answer. “But you’re telling me anyway?”

“Does that make me a bad friend?” you ask morosely.

“No, no. You’re the best friend. And an even better subordinate for ratting him out… it’s good to know where your loyalty lies.”

He’s laughing when he says it and then he isn’t laughing a mere moment later. Rather, he’s leaning in on a whim, eyes fluttering shut, a hand over the back of your neck, thumbs a whisper against the curve of your cheek. There’s a perceptible flash that travels like lighting up your spine — he’s going to kiss you for real this time, you know he is, and it’s something you’ve wanted for who-knows how long and it’s finally yours to have. To keep. And it’s not just about the kiss, is it? It’s about Aaron, like it most always is, and you thank your lucky stars one by one to have found a man like him and to be able to keep him.

But it’s over nearly as soon as it began. How torturous for it to end so quickly when you’ve dreamt of kissing him day and night. It’s only right for you to go for another and another and another, and yes, juice is always sweeter when the fruit has had time to ripen.

[lostinlovingrevery]

Just a thought and no offense but I think Logan just wants to be in love and feel loved in return.

(This isnt proofread and came out as rambling so have fun trying to read it and decipher it! 😅)

So WE ALL know that Logan can be flirty, and that he may have had a period where he was a bit of a manwhore (*cough* 70s Logan *cough*)

I feel like that period though, and any other flings, one night stands, etc whatever was less out of lust and more of a desperation to feel SOME kind of human connection bc the mans so lonely and has been treated like a soldier, a weapon for so long that hes desperate for human connection, even if it makes him end up feeling depraved afterwards. Post-nut clarity wakes him up next to some girl he met at a bar, and guilt sinks its teeth into him because he doesnt even know her name, much less actually LIKE her. The man was born in the 1800s, he may have grown with time but you cannot tell me theres not some inkling of being a gentleman- and wanting to find someone you truly love, hidden in there somewhere. I think overtime he may fall into this routine, believing he needed to be a walking sex magnet, gruff, cocky, whatever have you because hes convinced its the only way he can have a connection with someone, even if its for a few passionate moments under bedsheets, and an awkward "that was nice. Bye"

It only fuels his self hatred, convincing him that he really his just an animal, looking to get his sick desires out, eat, fuck, sleep, survive.

When we see him in the X movies, as a cage fighter he is brutal and rough and he doesnt seem to have a caring bone in his body yet he still manages to find himself caring about this young girl who stowawayed in his trailer, and does help her, even if he acts like this version of logan he created. Someone who doesnt care. But he cares. A lot.

Its not until he meets YOU, that he starts to wonder if he got it all wrong. Kind, beautiful, smart YOU.

I fully believe that logan just wants a partner. One night stands, flings, what have you, were just him lying to himself, desperate to feel something other than hate. After he lost his memories, and he began just wandering, the concept of love was lost on him. And lust wasnt there anymore either. He was approached by women, perfectly fine, pretty women, all the time during his time cage fighting, bars, etc. He turned them all away- completely opposite of logan 30-40 years ago (my timing probs not right on xmen lol) who was convinced the only way he was living was if he had ass next to him every night he went to sleep because he was lonely. This version of logan, lost, angry, wanted nothing to do with people. Some of it the repressed feelings coming out from his past that he doesnt even remember. He was convinced then that he had to be alone. Becoming a lone wolf that bared his teeth at anyone who tried to pet it. Secretly though, deep down although he wouldnt admit it, there was that deep desire, that he always felt in his 200 years, that he just wanted to find his mate. He'd call soulmates bullshit if you asked him, but the moment he meets you, hed know that it was real, and that maybe god cursed (gifted) him the ability of healing and practical immortality just so he could find you. And hed do it over and over again, the pain and suffering and loneliness, if it meant you would be the endgoal.

Logan is a pack animal. He needed a family, to protect, and cherish. When he meets and ends up at the x-men, his demeanor and attitude changes quickly to something similar to a dog that snaps at you when you pet it only for it to whine and whimper "im sorry, please dont hate me, i just dont know how to accept love.". Hes still wary, because hed never KNOWN a family before. Put aside his memory loss, the closest things he had to a family was a creep of a brother, and a woman who said she loved him under false pretenses (i still dont like you kayla even if you say it was real). He barely knew his parents, and even then that was a lie because his father wasnt even his biological father. Yeah, Logans life was pretty damn lonely, so its no wonder the man is cautious of anybody and anything.

The moment you come into his life though, that bitterness, anger, and meaningless flirting goes right out the window. Hes serious about you. Hes usually cautious, nervous around people but he meets you and its almost like he threw all those imaginary rules he has for himself out of the window.

Look at how he was with Jean in the movies. He barely knew the woman, they barely shared ANY lines in the movie yet he was almost completely devoted (dont get me started on that storyline). Trust didnt come easy to the wolverine. And Kayla- their relationship just shows how much he wants love and to be loved. I never seen origins but a lot of gifsets and read the synopsis of the plot, but i think he had a feeling with Kayla he couldnt trust (remember how he says hell never go against his gut again?) But he so badly just wanted that connection he ignored all the warning signs and did everything to build a life with this woman who not only tricked him, but put him through unimaginable pain both physically and mentally. (Look I REALLY dont like kayla but i do feel bad for her because stryker did have her sister captive). I know stryker is the evil mastermind here, but god imagine trying to find love with someone, only for it all to be a farce, even if they claimed they did love you the entire time- the intentions from the very beginning was far from love.

Oh but when he is in love with you. From the moment he met you, it wasnt love at first sight exactly, more like a feeling that you were it. Hes all about you. He sticks around, under the pretense that he just needed to make some money first, doing some missions for charles, keep an eye on rogue. He cant admit its because he wants to stay close to you. Hes like a feral cat taking shelter in your shed. Stays away at first, cautious of your spspspsp, but curious nonetheless. Completely ignores the first bowl of food you put down for it- or so you thought because when you came back it was completely devoured. It takes weeks of food and spspsps before it finally warms up to you, but after that first contact with your hand and its head- good luck ever getting rid of it. Not that youd want to 😊

Logan becomes a shadow to you, once you become something akin to friends. (Its really more than that but no ones addressed it). He teases you and flirts with you, and its something you think he does with everyone, until Ororo tells you that he only does it to you. Sometimes he just sits in your company, other times hes curious about what youre working on, not wanting to start the convo, but does things like leering over your shoulder (which he may or may not be doing just to he close to you and get a good whiff of the smell of your hair). He stresses when you go on missions without him. He slowly opens up about his past to you when he begins to get his memories back. Trusting only you (and maybe charles) with the truth ablut the man he used to be, and still is.

When your feelings finally do come out in the open though, however it happens, that first kiss, the first time you make love, etc etc. Logans a different man. I mean, hes still that cocky, grumpy person we all know and love. But he carried himself differently. Hes confident and wiser, hes comfortable, and hes happy. He found a home, his pack. And maybe after countless conversations about his past, the things hes done, and the comforting words and understandings you give him, he starts to learn that he isnt so bad, because if you love him, YOU, the most wonderful person hes ever known in 200 years, love him despite all of his violence and hatred and slight whoreish tendecies back in the 70s...then he must be alright.

He doesnt need to worry about his past anymore, when hes got you, right there with him, promising a loving future together.

[pastabaguette]

hi!! i just wanted to try and clear something up with you bc i really need to know? what are your thoughts on eridan as a whole? bc i love your art and i love all your equius stuff (youve made me rethink him as a character that i initially wrote off, a lot like how i used to do with eridan before i re-read the comic) but the hitler joke in one of your humanstuck doodles really rubbed me the wrong way and i couldnt decipher if it was just supposed to be taken as a write off joke or if it was supposed to be exaggerated. theres a really massive misconception within the fandom that eridan is/would be a neonazi and tbh i cant keep following you if you believe that. he's my favorite character and it just makes me upset to see popular artists in the fandom still not reading further into him beyond the surface level and perpetuating fanon that makes volotile people in the fandom harass ampora fans. nothing against you personally, as i dont know you personally. i just would really like to know your full thoughts on him as a character.

hello! no, i don’t think humanstuck eridan (edison) would genuinely be a neo-nazi. i do think he’s definitely falling down that alt-right pipeline, but he’s not too far gone.

i do think he might actually say things like this, but a lot of what he says he doesn’t really understand or mean. he’s trying to sound smart, or cool, or edgy or whatever, but it’s not really working, and it only makes him look like an asshole. he’s mainly echoing things he’s picked up from his environment, namely the spaces he hangs out in online. in homestuck, every troll is based off of a specific type of internet archetype. (angry screaming guy, leetspeaker, roleplayer, etc.) each of them, at the beginning of act 5, is a parody of different annoying or strange types of people you meet online. this is his.

as for my thoughts on eridan’s character as a whole, as a troll in homestuck, i still don’t think he’s a genuine nazi. i think he’s similar to equius in that, again, he says a lot of things that he doesn’t really fully mean. they’re just ingrained in him due to his highblood upbringing.

i think that something that bears repeating is that all of these characters are 13 years old. i think that hussie did a pretty good job of writing them based on this fact. when you’re 13, you’re pretty much at the peak of insecurity and self-consciousness and desire to seem cool and interesting to others and society as a whole. you’re really just starting to try and explore your identity and establish yourself as your own person. all this considered, you still really don’t know what you’re doing at all when you’re 13. you’re desperate to prove yourself, to seem capable and strong.

i think a lot of the highbloods’ (vriska, equius, gamzee to an extent, eridan) behaviors make sense when you consider their environments and upbringing. they don’t think the awful things they do are actually awful, in fact, this is the behavior that’s expected of them. society’s told them their whole lives that this is the way they’re supposed to act, so they act accordingly. i’m not saying it makes their actions excusable, but i think it makes them make sense, given their circumstances.

sorry if my point started getting away from me at the end there. in conclusion, no, eridan is not a nazi. i think to say so would be a little silly. even the people eridan kills, he doesn’t do so because of their blood color (to my remembrance). he kills them because he perceives them as a direct threat, and because they’re in his way. (and i believe feferi technically attacked him first, right?) the solution he jumps to is violence, because that’s what he’s been accustomed to. it’s the first and easiest thing he can think of.

again, of course this doesn’t excuse his actions; it doesn’t excuse any of their actions, but it does explain them.

[alien-til-i-stage]

so something i dont see much online is how similar hyuna and luka actually are.

When we meet Hyuna, we get introduced to how upbeat and her free spirited personality, both in how she acts and in the song.

This in particular speaks almost in entirely of freedom and the desire for it. She sings about living her life for her and “a bird set free”. As obvious from her being rebel, everything points to how she desires freedom from the aliens and control over how she lives her life. We can also see this in a comic where she says the reason she enjoys singing is because on the stage she’s the one in control.

Already from a young age, control is something she has wanted, over her own life and her performances. And for her saying this, I think its even more interesting if we look back at All In. The majority the song takes place both in a bar where Hyuna is singing or the mission both Hyuna and Mizi are doing.

We already know that Hyuna likes to sing to feel the control over the stage when she’s there but I find it interesting that, yet again, the entirety of the episode was her demonstrating her freedom and control. There were even moments with her on stage remembering Luka and Hyunwoo and continuing to frantically continue singing as if trying to run away from them.

This could mean that rather than her just singing out of enjoyment of her control, she’s on that stage for the control. Almost like she’s desperately clinging onto that feeling to remind herself that she’s not weak, to run away from her helplessness as a child. Another reason for her to be on as many missions as she was shown to be, maybe another way to prove to herself she has the control and power now, not the aliens.

we can continue to see mentions of her trying to escape her memories in the song “Drunk and Party” as she says “I don’t wanna go back, everybody listen.”

Essentially Hyuna uses her own stage as a way to regain her control as well as her missions. Which is where Luka comes in.

In the same comic where Hyuna speaks about control on the stage, we see Luka as an adult on the stage as well, most likely during the 49th season.

It looks almost like hes remembering Hyuna’s words from when they were both children, which indicates that Hyuna’s reponse effected him.

In an interview about round 5, someone asked why Luka imitated Sua, and here is the response that was given.

Its told that Luka does this, not to win, but to feel control and dominance. Unlike Hyuna, who has many ways to feel this way and demonstrates it in almost every way of her lifestyle, this is the only way for him to do so. He is literally a puppet except for when he’s on stage.

The reason for Hyuna’s response being so important to him is likely that Hyuna’s attitude about singing effected his own. In the comic, kid Luka seemed curious about Hyuna finding control on the stage, showing that at that point Luka didn’t view the stage the same, so its likely that after their talk, Luka began to view the stage as a way to control.

This is how the two of them are similar, yet opposites. They both desire control and dominance in their lives and dedicate themselves to it, yet while Hyuna lives a life where she can easily do that, she feels no need to hurt others in order to do so, rather able to choose to help them as a way to feel powerful, but Luka doesn’t have that same choice. He lives life as a puppet, with no other way for control. His only way to feel in control is on the stage, so he takes his chance to and hurts the other contestant, purposely trying to hurt them as much as possible just because he can.

I truly believe that had their situations been reversed, where Luka was instead the purpose who got to leave while Hyuna stayed behind, theres a chance they couldve had completely different lifestyles. I also believe that they also, in a way, represent each path Till could take. If he were to stay in alien stage for the next season, would he turn out like Luka, someone who hurt others to feel in control, or if he was able to run away and become a rebel would he distract himself from his pain and constantly chase after that feeling of finally being free?

idk i just really like hyuna and luka

[taki118]

IruClarAzz Master Post Part 14

Just collecting all of the cuteness of the Love Trio and adding my commentary. Spoilers ahead very current with the manga. (Also warning I may make jabs at the IruAmeri ship here and there just small comparisons showing why I don’t like it as much, no hate but if you don’t like your ship being talked about even slightly negatively probably look away.)

If you didn’t see it Part 1 is here, Part 2 is here, Part 3 here Part 4 here  Part 5 here Part 6 here Part 7 here Part 8 here Bonus here Part 9 here Part 10 here Part 11 here Part 12 here Part 13 here

Ok so now Clara understands Azz's concerns hahaha

Year of the Snake art so Jazz is here but....what matters to azz is the adorable pair play fighting behind him. (Note Clara is wearing pink)

Hahaha now Lied is on the receiving end of soulmate jealousy hahaha

Azz trying to push Lied away haha.

Clara is embarrassed by her test results and their concern is so cute

and this starts dear god we are eating ya'll these chapters are killing me

look at the little blushes on both of them

Look at them trying to cheer her up in their own ways

I love they are trying to meet her on her level

But its not helping much, so Iruma asks what Clara would want to do when she passes

Gets a very Clara answer.

This is so sweet

Azz your Tsundere is showing, her face is too precious though and this is where the trouble starts. See Azz left his coat with his special evil cycle pills and well guess who took one

Those are heart shaped pillows the exact same size, just sayin

I just want to point out the character growth their antics use to make Iruma concerned but now he enjoys it and doesnt want to miss out

Thats a very platonic face you're making there Iruma

Clara's evil cycle is just full on yandere mode

Azz realizes pretty quick what just happened

Again very platonic expression, and Azz why are you so upset hmm?

I just this shit got real kinky real quick haha. also theres hearts on the collars

Again the fact that Clara is doing the same thing to Azz as she's doing to Iruma tells me that they are on the same or very close levels in her mind

She's using love a lot, and while Azz will argue being kept here is wrong he's not saying shes wrong when she says they love her

Like hes so blushy he can't fully process.

I said this all the way back when Love trio was first uttered but I think Clara knows exactly what she wants from their relationship she just doesn't have the words but those desires are coming out in her evil cycle a bit.

I'm dying ya'll waiting for the next chapter, sadly it'll be a while before next update

[walnutcookie]

I desperately want to know your thoughts on ReflectiveDetective with this

GOUGHHHH OK. FUCK. Cracks knuckles. thank you for this GHAHHAHA i always love yappimg abt these two

What draws them together?

i think that what draws them together is also the thing that drives them apart. Theyre both playing this character of someone whos perfect and flawless out of a desire for love and attention but in different ways (glisten tries to flaunt everything he can while rodger tries to be cool and mysterious and secretive bla bla ive talked abt this before this is just summary GDBKFJF). I think it takes glisten a long time to really realize that theres more to rodger than meets the eye... hes mostly just scared of the guy and is too paranoid to imagine he has insecurities too GSVJDHD but after they start getting closer he starts to see some similarities ..... probably doesnt realize just how alike they are until rodger actually opens up and talks about it. Rodger has always known - just from his own observations ofc and his Nosiness but glisten has also vented to him quite a bit because hes a bit too good of a listener

its comforting to know that theres someone like them. they can look at each other and know that theyre not alone in what theyre dealing with but also its terrifying in a way because Dear Godge someone else knows what theyre going through... they cant even fake anything around each other anymore because the other will know its a lie. And now theyre both paranoid that the other will eventually lose interest because they finally see that theyre worthless and boring (they wont)

What stands in the way?

same answer as before LOLL. i think def rodger is the biggest problem here though his ass does NOOOT communicate. glisten isnt the best with communication either but rodger is worse. i think theyre both a little scared to open up to each other too and be in such a vulnerable state but at least glisten has a mindset of "he alreayd knows me inside and out so idgaf he knows anyways" rodger is still clinging to Oh God ive gotta make myself look cool otherwise he'll hate meeee[acts distant and makes glisten think he fucking hates him] Rodger just. sends soo many mixed messages and it stresses glisten the hell out. and even beyond that glisten still feels like he doesnt truly know who rodger is... he asks so many questions and yet dodges any question thats asked about himself. It gets frustrating sometimes when glisten has to theorize about whats going on in rodgers head and why hes acting so weird

What are their good traits?

I think theyre both very good listeners :] i think that glisten has relied on rodger as someone he could talk to and get advice from for a long time (based on how toodles says he "cries and complains" to rodger all the time)... rodger has always been able to read him really well and knows EXACTLY what the fuck is up at all times which is, again, absolutely terrifying to glisten because hes left so vulnerable but also comforting. He doesnt know what rodgers intentions are at first or what he thinks of glisten but hes patient and caring which is relieving, especially when glisten doesnt talk abt his issues to anyone else lol . It takes a looonngg time but glisten does eventually get rodger to open up too :] i think glisten very good at cheering people up just in general. Sometime its a bit of a chore for him (referencing the boxten/glisten notes) but hes learned how to listen very well and is great at being a distraction after they get it all out. Even if its just for his reputation hed rather sacrifice a bit of his time and energy to cheer someone up

Describe them with one trope:

opposites attract ? idk theyre too alike for that GDVJDBF im not very good with ship tropes

[nochukoo97]

R u Mine?

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: It hurts so bad seeing your best friend, who you have been madly in love with, with another girl. You secretly wish he would have never met his current girlfriend. It pained you to watch them interact right in front of your eyes. But what if things took a turn? What if you actually had a chance with him?

Word count: 3k+

Warnings: best friends to lovers, but theres a lot of angst at the start 🥲, JK drives a motorcycle hehehehehhe, a little bit of suggestive themes but nth huge 😊

a/n: hii i finally had the motivation to write this fic!! i wish i had this jungkook in my life 🥲 also, don’t be a silent reader and do comment and give feedback on this fic please :) i think i might write some drabbles and a bit more elaboration on this couple if the fic does well, then i’ll make it a series bc i LOVE. motorcycle jk. HAHHA

To say you hated Jungkook’s girlfriend was an understatement.

When Jungkook had introduced Eunmi to you, your heart shattered into a million pieces, yet you had to force a smile onto your face and act as if you were happy for your best friend.

It was hard, you didn’t know if you were being a shit best friend to Jungkook for secretly wishing that the love of his life, quoted by him, would secretly disappear, but at the same time it was so fucking hard to push down those feelings you’ve had for him for years.

There were so many instances, the little actions Jungkook did specially for you, that convinced you that you had a chance with him. You were always too scared to approach him and confess, but now you’re happy you did not. You would rather not get rejected by Jungkook and risk ruining your relationship with him.

Yet it was so painful to watch Jungkook smile lovingly at his girlfriend as she clung to his tattooed arm. It was so painful to watch Jungkook kiss her and giggle with her. It was so painful to watch Jungkook do the things you had envisioned him doing with you once you had gained the courage to confess to him.

Everytime Jungkook had brought Eunmi to a gathering, you couldn’t help but watch in jealousy, in envy of her. You couldn’t bring yourself to push away your feelings for him, it was too much. Eunmi was never a bad person, she was sweet and charming, but sometimes you wished she wasn’t. Sometimes you secretly wished your best friend had not fallen for her, but for you instead.

You hate being the “girl best friend”. In that vision, you never stood a chance with Jungkook. In that vision, he may cut you off for the sake of the love of his life. Yet you feel so fucking guilty for seeming so selfish, wanting the boy to yourself, not truly supporting his relationship, but more of just doing it for the sake of his happiness.

You sigh as you chug down another shot of Soju, watching Jungkook giggle with Eunmi at the couch opposite you. Jimin had organized another party in his big house for the third time this week, the third time this week you watched your best friend and his girlfriend flirt and break your heart further.

“What’s with the glum look?” Jimin slots himself next to you on the couch, attempting to look where you had been staring. “Nothing, just a little tired.” You brush him off again, for the millionth time, and even though you knew he clearly knew you were lying to him by saying you were okay, you were too embarrassed to tell anyone about your selfish desires.

Jimin only sighs as you reject his attempt to console you again, yet he already has a slight idea of what’s bothering you.

———————————————————————————

It’s been two weeks since Jimin’s party and you have been cooping yourself up at home, not leaving the house and looking like a wreck. Jimin had tried to ask you to meet him to go shopping, but you brushed him off again, giving a lame excuse of how you're busy with work.

You feel bad for brushing everyone off, especially after your other friends gave you a dejected look as you rejected their offer to hang out for the tenth time. Yet you’ve allowed yourself to fall into this depressive slump, as if your whole world is miserable right now. Maybe it actually is.

It's also been two weeks since you last talked to your best friend. You weren’t even sure if you could consider Jungkook as your best friend anymore, considering you went from texting everyday and calling each other to now barely communicating ever since he and Eunmi started dating. At least he is happy, you try to convince yourself.

You sigh and lean back on your couch, but your phone buzzes and the screen lights up, showing the caller ID. It’s Jimin. You sigh, assuming that he was going to try to get you out of the house again.

“Hello?” you mumble, getting ready to reject the poor boy’s offer again.

“___ I need your help desperately. I don’t know what else to do,” Jimin literally pleads with you over the phone.

You sit up, worry casted over your face wondering what on earth happened to him.

“What happened to you? Are you okay?” You start to ramble, worried for your good friend and cursing at yourself in your mind for rejecting his offers so many times.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. This isn’t about me. It’s about Jungkook.” Jimin tells you.

“Oh,” That’s all that comes out of your mouth

Your heart wrenches as Jungkook and Eunmi clouds your mind again, but not before Jimin starts talking, catching you out of your daze.

“Anyways, he’s really wrecked, he won’t accept help from any of us and I think you’re the only hope left. Before you ask what happened, I’ll let Jungkook explain to you, it’s not my place to say this.” Jimin says, ending the phone call after he gets confirmation that you would be going over to Jungkook’s.

You don’t know what to feel right now. Confused is the best that can explain your feelings at the moment, having no clue why Jungkook was wrecked and why can’t his pretty little girlfriend can’t come to his rescue.

Okay, maybe you’re being a little too mean.

——————————————————————————————

You quickly stop by the nearby convenience store near Jungkook’s apartment, you naturally head towards the ice cream freezer, grabbing one chocolate and one strawberry ice cream from it.

Before you can stop it, the memories of you and Jungkook sitting on the sidewalk and eating these exact same ice creams from the exact same convenience store breaks your heart again. You would do anything to relive that moment without knowing what the future held.

You quickly shake your head, not wanting to delve deeper on those memories when Jungkook was in trouble, or you assumed, having zero knowledge on what was happening.

You knock on Jungkook’s apartment door when you get out of the lift, and a voice grumbles from inside, “Leave me the fuck alone Tae, I told you I’m fine.” You don’t recognise the hoarse and rough voice at first, but you furrow your eyebrows in worry as to why Jungkook was in such a state.

“It’s me, not Tae,” You softly speak through the door. “I can go if you want to be left alone, but just wanted to check in on you,” You end your sentence, prepared to go back down the lift and back home. You’re pretty sure Eunmi can come over and console her boyfriend instead of you.

You then feel bad for those bitter thoughts when you see the door open.

There stood Jungkook, dark circles under his eyes, hair in a mess, and the apartment behind him messy.

“___?” His voice questions, even though it sounds hoarse, he says it so softly that your eyes soften at his appearance.

The boy makes way for you into his apartment, rambling on about how embarrassingly messy it was, apologising to you.

“Jungkook, the state of your apartment is the last thing I’m worried about right now.” You start off as you sit down on the couch next to him, his body limp as he stares at the ceiling, eyes blank.

“What happened?” You question after a moment of silence, reaching into the plastic bag to fish out the chocolate ice cream you know he loves. Or you hoped he still did, or maybe his girlfriend introduced him to a new flavour and—

To your surprise, Jungkook retrieves the ice cream from your hand and breaks into a smile. You're shocked, seeing the old Jungkook you know flash for a second in front of your eyes. He whispers a soft “thank you” as he sighs, you can tell he’s preparing to tell you something big.

Before he can start, you can’t help but question him, “Also, why isn’t your girlfriend here? Shouldn’t she be comforting you right now when you’re in this state?” Jungkook’s eyes flash with sadness at your question, he chuckles bitterly as he begins to explain.

“Jungkook I am so so sorry, you don’t deserve that at all,” You pet his hair as the poor boy sobs into your embrace. That bitch. You never knew that innocent and charming girl had the audacity to cheat on your best friend like that. Jungkook’s expression broke your heart when he started to ramble about all the horrible shit she did. He couldn’t even finish his ice cream, putting the cup down before more tears dripped into the cup.

“Thanks for being here ___, I’m serious,” Jungkook mumbles into your shoulder, “The other guys suck at consoling me,” He laughs a little, and you smile knowing that at least he could laugh about something now.

Knowing that Jungkook was ready to move on, as he told you, you knew he was not the type to dwell on the negative things in life. If anything did not go his way, he would simply move past it, emerging stronger as ever.

You were so ready to support him at this time, wanting nothing but the best for Jungkook.

Yet you felt so guilty, because a part of you was rejoicing about his break up.

———————————————————————————-

Fast forward to a month later, you thank the heavens that Jungkook is back to his normal self, but you're being extremely careful with your feelings.

Jungkook not only returned back to his normal self, but he was unknowingly, or knowingly, playing with your feelings. He often did things that made you feel funny in your stomach, or made your ears and cheeks turn red. You want to think that he was unknowingly doing such things, but the smirk on his face every time he coaxed a reaction out of you said otherwise.

“Girl, I’m telling you, he wants you for real! Look at all the stuff he’s doing,” For the millionth time, Yeji is trying to convince you that Jeon Jungkook is in love with you. You refuse to believe her, afraid to get your heart shattered for the hundred-millionth-billionth time.

You groan at her attempt to convince you. “Yeji, let’s talk about you and your boyfriend, isn’t that a much more interesting topic?” You try to distract her, but guess what?

Perfect time Jungkook, perfect time to call you at this moment.

Yeji spots the contact name, “JK🐰” light up on your phone.

“Your lover is calling you~” Yeji wiggles her eyebrows, taunting you as you roll your eyes, picking up the phone.

“Whatcha doin’?” The voice sounds over the phone, you can tell Jungkook’s smiling as he speaks.

You try to hold in a smile but you can’t seem to control your facial movements at the moment. Yeji smirks as she sees your expression but you quickly frown at her.

“I’m out with Yeji for lunch right now, why?” You ask him, smiling softly.

“Can I pick you up when you're done? I’ve got a surprise for you~” Jungkook’s honey voice rings through the phone as you laugh, imagining his expression at the moment.

“Okay sure, I’ll be done in about an hour, I’ll send you my location then,” You laugh as you reply, Yeji is excitedly staring at you as you end the call.

“Oh my gosh tell me what he said, tell me now!” She demands as she shakes your arm, you sigh at her behaviour.

“Chill, he just told me he had a surprise for me and wanted to pick me up, that’s all,” You say, but what you say doesn’t translate to how you feel. Your heart thumps loudly in your chest as you hold back a smile, but Yeji doesn’t need to know that.

Yeji continues to babble on about Jeon Jungkook the whole time you and her walked around the mall, you choose to put up with it, too excited about the said boy who was picking you up soon.

—————————————————————————

You and Yeji wait at the mall’s pick up point, you look out for Jungkook’s black Mercedes, but you don’t see it anywhere.

Suddenly, a Harley Davidson swerves into the pick up point, and both you and Yeji gasp when you see who is under the helmet.

Jeon Fucking Jungkook.

And he has a proud grin wiped across his face.

“You’re crazy!” You run up to him as you slap his arm, he winces dramatically at the impact but you know he’s simply playing with you.

“What? Don’t like it?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow at you

“It looks hot but there’s no way I’m riding this thing all the way home.” You stand your ground, “There’s no seatbelt! I swear the moment you go past a certain speed I’ll be flying off!” You slightly whine as Jungkook looks at you in amusement.

He also mumbles a “cute” under his breath, but you don’t catch it.

“If you hold on to me tight I won’t let you fall off, I promise sweetheart,” He laughs as he winks at you, your ears now turning a deep red at the sudden pet name.

You can only tsk at him as you shoo Yeji away, half forgetting that she was still standing there cooing at the interaction between the two of you.

After saying your goodbyes to Yeji, you turn around back to Jungkook, who’s currently holding out a helmet for you.

And when you attempt to take the helmet to put it on, Jungkook moves it away from your grabbing hands.

“Ah-ah let me do it,” He says, placing the helmet over your head after swiping your hair out of your face.

Your heart is pounding so loudly in your chest you’re slightly afraid Jungkook can hear your organ that is currently about to explode.

To make matters worse, when he puts on a windbreaker on you that is way too big, he zips up the zipper for you and taps your chin affectionately.

He’s playing with your feelings too much.

———————————————————————————

When you finally reach your apartment, you hurriedly get off the vehicle which you now are terrified of, considering Jungkook had teased you by suddenly increasing the speed of the motorcycle.

But you also don’t miss how he immediately grabs onto your arm to support you as you climb off his bike.

Jungkook doesn’t know how much he affects you, that’s for sure.

He takes off the windbreaker and helmet for you of course, nearly sending your poor heart into a heart attack by how fast it was beating.

You and Jungkook enter your apartment, and you plop yourself on the couch, tired out from spending the whole morning with your friend shopping and eating and dealing with her nonsense from babbling about you and Jungkook non stop.

“Are you that tired from being so scared on my bike?” Jungkook taunts you as he smirks at your form.

“No, and I’m never riding with you again, that was terrifying!” You whine as Jungkook raises his eyebrow at you in amusement.

He now shifts to tower over you, standing at where you feet are from sitting on the couch.

“You seemed to enjoy holding onto me though,” Jungkook slowly approaches you, accessing the situation to see if you were on the same page as him.

You choke on your saliva at his sudden statement, cheeks turning horribly red.

To make matters worse, Jungkook leans down, his lips grazing your ears as he whispers, “Wouldn’t you like me to hold you too? Like this?”

And before you know it, Jungkook manhandles you into his lap.

What

The

Fuck.

You don’t bother saying anything at this point, all that would have come out of your mouth would be stutters anyways.

There's this sudden burst of courage coming from you, you lean down and connect your lips with his, feeling the cold metal of his lip piercing touch your lips.

And reality hits you the moment you do so, but before you can pull away, Jungkook grabs your arms and wraps them around his neck, pulling you back to kiss him again.

He prods his tongue into your mouth as you let him, now. your panting into the kiss as he makes out with you.

You can feel Jungkook smirk against your lips as you let out a whimper and a gasp when he presses your hips down onto his lap.

And for the rest of the night Jungkook and you are all over each other, you both exhausted after how hard you two were going, but you slept comfortably in each other’s embrace.

You would definitely have some explaining to do to a lot of your friends, especially Yeji…

—————————————————————-

When everyone found out about the new relationship, chaos broke out. Yeji was frantically cooing and proclaiming how she knew it, and the rest of Jungkook's friends could not get both of your names out of their mouths.

But Jungkook proudly showed you off wherever he went, he had set a picture of you and him on a picnic date as his wallpaper, and his whole instagram page was filled with pictures of you.

In the end, both of you realised that your feelings towards each other were strong and genuine, Jungkook often teased you for not confessing your feelings earlier, but you would joke back about it too, now unaffected by the past.

Your boyfriend was the sweetest ever, Jungkook always made it a point to send you everywhere, to buy you flowers, and to shower you with affection.

After a year of dating, Jungkook had asked you to move into his apartment, and to say you cried was an understatement. The poor boy thought you burst into tears out of negative feelings, but when you hugged him ever so tightly and chanting “yes”s into his chest as you soaked his hoodie with tears, Jungkook couldn’t have been more happy.

[satin-velvet]

｡˚ ° . * 𝑀𝒶𝒹𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝑀𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒷𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝓍 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒾𝓏𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹-𝒞𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈 ｡˚ °

summary: headcanons around being poly with the shadiest duo in all of oz.

note: i don’t know how people will feel about this. moribble and wizard are evil and attractive, unfortunately. or fortunately, depending on how you view these two. keep in mind i am not polyamorous myself so i’ve not extensive knowledge on these kinds of relationships.

disclaimer: older woman x younger woman x older man, poly

｡˚ ° ｡˚ ° . *

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐

However you met one of them; Moribble’s magic seminars, an audience with the Wizard, or just Moribble happening upon you (because the wonderful wizard of oz seldom leaves his palace) whether unintentionally or not, you’d definitely grab their attention. Of course, it’d start very small. If you attended Shiz, Moribble would just constantly seek you out.

“You have great magical potential,” or so she says. Things like her hand lingering to long on your back or waist, finding any excuse to hold your hand, her gaze remaining on you a little too long. All traits of a attentive teacher, surely?

When she gets you an audience with the wizard, things would go from there. You might be scared, intimidated, or even excited. She insists on going on the train with you, although she’s not a fan of mingling with the public. When you meet the wizard, it again, starts very normal. He’s very charming and flirtatious, holding your hand and calling you pet-names. If you were sufficiently charmed by this, they’d get you to stay in the palace for awhile.

“If you loved the Emerald City, your gonna love it here.” And, perhaps he’s right.

The more you stay with them, the more you observe their dynamic. Before they talk to someone, they whisper to each-other a little, perhaps rehearsing what to say. You notice everytime the wizard does/says something he glances at Moribble. The way he holds her hand, occasionally.

Moribble, being graceful, serious, and reserved, would be more relaxed about it. She doesn’t seem like an extremely affectionate person, so she would settle with little kisses on the cheek and hands on your waist, back, etc. She likes to hold hands, she doesn’t mine that. When she’s excited, she might reach for your hand or briefly wrap her arms around you. She likes giving positive affirmations, and definitely into praise and encouragement.

Oscar is more affable and charismatic, and a lot more touchy. Holding your waist, hand, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.. really, he can’t keep his hands to himself. If you like it, he’ll touch you all the time. He’d get a little jealous if you spent too much time with Moribble, because he might feel neglected. He would feel slightly intimidated if you were actually magical, especially if you knew he was not magical himself. Now, instead of one powerful person he has to listen too, theres another. Just like he gifts Moribble jewelry, he would gift you things, too, whatever you wanted.

I think the confession would be.. well, as self assured as Oscar seems, I think he is a little afraid of being rejected. Moribble, on the contrary, knows theres just no way you’ll deny her. I don’t think they would explicitly state they wanna share you.. but it’s obvious. There’s strong undercurrents of desire whenever Oscar touches you, or when Moribble looks at you. To actually confess, they might praise you to start, say how amazing and wonderful you are. They’d sneak in some touching, of course, a hand around your waist or holding your hand. The first kiss(es) would be fun, I imagine. Moribble would kiss you first, very lightly, and then the wizard would kiss you.

Since they stay in completely separate places, you can probably alternate between who you stay with. If you stay at the royal palace of Oz, Moribble would visit more often, especially when the Shiz semester ends. If you stay with Moribble at Shiz, you two would travel to the Emerald City to visit the Wizard. Sometimes he might visit you two at Shiz, but not often, because I think he’s nervous outside of his palace and the Emerald City.

｡˚ ° ｡˚ ° . *

[garmrheim]

🎄Santaphale Au collection🎄

Hello! ive had this in my draft forever now and its DUE TIME to make this and post it since ive gotten questions about the au and while i make art theres amazing other creators that has helped built it up in the sandbox and while i make art theres (as of now) three fics from the same universe posted on Ao3 that follows Aziraphale and Crowley in different points in their life. ------

For those that are wondering- the short introduction to it is that the Santaphale universe began over on discord with a handfull of friends that banded together to spin up an elaborate and extensive story featuring Crowley (she/they) around her late 30s in the beginning of the story and down the line she stops aging around her late 40s/early 50s and becomes immortal along with Aziraphale (he/him) , who (looks to be) around 50. He is of half human/elfin nature that makes him a cryptid of his own right with the power he weilds as The Spirit of Hope Through Darkness, Guardian of Childhood Wishes, the God of Winter Gifts, king of the northern elves, also called Sinterklaas or Santa Clause (Thank you salt for that perfect row of titles ) They met on a Christmas night when Aziraphale visits Crowley’s home while delivering presents and after a passionate night, departs after giving her a silver bell with summoning magic to ring if she wants to see him again. Crowley goes to bed, then wakes up thinking it was all a dream til she meets a familiar face a few months later and cue a lovely romance! They later come to live in the North Pole for the second half of every year, and eventually they end up having a small bunch kids that they love and adore and the art and fic follows this entire journey and so much more.

-----

This will be updated if and when new stuff is added just because i like having it all in one place and id like if you that are introduced to the au with my art has a way to get more! as of right now (december 2024) theres 3 fics published that belongs to this au and i will post their links and information below! i can highly recommend it as they are made by two of the most talented people i know and dear friends that im so happy to share this Santaphale sandbox with along with all the pals in our server hello! i adore you too! Any art that relates to Santaphale that ive done can be found on Bluesky now since i moved completely from twitter. its over on my Family oriented acc called VanadisHeim (that IS 18+ because theres also adult content there) the occasional Santaphale can also be found on my main account called GarmrHeim and any additional art made by my fellow cocreators that is published will also be added here! ✨ Have fun and enjoy! 🎄✨

''Silver bells'' @vaguely-demonic (Vaguelydemonic on Ao3) silver bells (5938 words) by vaguelydemonic Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Magic, First Meetings, Crush at First Sight, She/Her and They/Them Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens) as Santa Claus, Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Santa Kink, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Squirting and Vaginal Ejaculation, Coming Untouched, Coming In Pants, Mildly Dubious Consent, (previous tag clarified in author's note!), Crowley is vision impaired, Oral Sex, Christmas Smut Summary: It was Christmastime in the city and Mx. Antonia J. Crowley had resigned herself to yet another Christmas spent alone. Like everyone else, all she wanted was to live in a fairy tale world where she could just have her deepest desire purely because she wanted it: a nice big house somewhere quiet and far from the city, a partner to live out her days with, a happy family that loved her as much as she loved them. She'd come to the conclusion many, many failed relationships ago that what she wanted simply wasn't in the cards for her. Instead, her Christmas plans would once again be her, her ragged tabletop tree with a single ornament, and a bottle of wine to help her find sleep… Until there arose such a clatter and Crowley stirred from the sofa to see what was the matter. With a welcome so calm, collected, and pleasant, Crowley finds someone there in her living room, seeking to deliver a present. ------------------------------------------------- '' A Gift to us both '' @definitionsfading (Blackeyedblonde on ao3)

a gift to us both (7376 words) by blackeyedblonde Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Magic, Christmas, Aziraphale (Good Omens) as Santa Claus, Christmas Smut, Established Relationship, Developing Relationship, Domestic, He/Him Pronouns For Aziraphale (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Age Difference, Romance, Kissing, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Breeding, Impregnation, Knotting, Crying, Confessions, Come Inflation, Mating Press, Pet Names, Tenderness, Aziraphale Has a Large Penis (Good Omens), Size Difference, Bearded Aziraphale (Good Omens), Babymaking, Soulmates, POV Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Femme Crowley (Good Omens), Lingerie, Fluff and Smut, Ineffable Spouses, Cervix Penetration, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Sex Magic

Summary: “When you say Christmas ‘wish,’ does that mean a five thousand pound gift voucher to the Liberty store in London, or something more in the abstract?” Crowley asks, lightly tweaking the curl of Aziraphale’s mustache. “I need to know the technical parameters of what you’re offering, here.” Aziraphale hums around a little laugh but goes quiet for a few moments to consider the seriousness of what he’s proposing. “You are a passionate person with a good heart and boundless optimism despite the struggles you’ve faced in your life,” he says, stating it matter-of-factly because he considers it to be true. “I’m an unusual figure in the position to grant wishes where I’m able, whether they be material or miraculous. But I suppose what I wanted to hear, if you’d indulge me, was something closer to your heart’s most ardent desire.” Crowley opens her mouth and then closes it again. Azirapahle watches the line of her slender throat as she swallows. “You’re yanking my chain,” she says, laughing as she shakes her head. “Taking the full piss.” “I can assure you I’m not,” Aziraphale says. ______________________________________________________

''Merry&Bright'' @vaguely-demonic (Vaguelydemonic on Ao3)

merry & bright (6814 words) by vaguelydemonic Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Original Child(ren) of Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Magic, Aziraphale (Good Omens) as Santa Claus, Established Relationship, He/Him Pronouns For Aziraphale (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Ineffable Spouses, Childbirth, Mild Blood, Bodily Fluids, it's childbirth okay there's gonna be some amniotic fluid, Pregnancy, Chestfeeding, Breastfeeding, Premature Birth, Less than ideal birthing conditions, Christmas, Christmas Party, Family Fluff, ineffable parents, Pregnant Crowley (Good Omens) Summary: When Aziraphale returned to the North Pole at the end of another successful run of delivering toys to the children of the world, the comfort of home was calling his name. A fire crackling away in the hearth. The promise of his beautiful family coming together for their grand holiday celebration later that evening. Crowley waiting sleepily for his late night return so he could slip into bed beside her and rest his palm over her belly, where their newest baby was nearly ready to join them. Truly, there was nothing more he could ever ask to come home to. Crowley and the baby had other ideas. Aziraphale had spent all night delivering gifts to others. It was Crowley's turn to deliver their own Christmas gift, away in a manger.

---

TO BE CONTINUED ✨

🎅🤶 👦👧👩🧒🧒👧👧🧒 🎄🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🎄

[itspheenixbaby]

managers (3/2)

i dont think many people script their managers, at least not in as much detail as i have? but it was kinda fun. and i feel like if i dont script them in detail theres a chance theyll be cuckoo/weird/evil like some ent industry managers...

"the managers"

both were very popular for their [self produced] music.

worked with big names globally.

seem not to care about us but they really do. just arent over-sentimental.

mentors to the group in a looot of ways.

famous j-star/k-stars in the 2000s.

weirdly ambiguous relationship.

we lowk dont see them. 💀

⋆｡°✩ flyday chinatown - yashua ⋆｡°✩

a man & a woman - francis lai

"do you want ants? because thats how you get ants"

name ; Charlie Song 🦢

race ; east asian

ethnicity ; korean

nationality ; korean-american

origin ; upper east side, manhattan

manages ; soul, 7mth, occasionally spirit

personality ; playful, generous, likable, non chalant, lenient

b-day ; 3/19/88

dgaf about what people think of her.

grew up rich.

philanthropist.

like the members fun but distant aunt.

bensonhurst blues - oscar benton

"the same entitled crap as always: ‘i cant make ends meet. im on food stamps. my child died because i couldn’t afford new bone marrow.’ just me, me, me, me, me!"

name ; Charlie "CJ" Jouichi 🎸

race ; east asian

ethnicity ; japanese, mixed

nationality ; guadeloupean-american

origin ; south bronx, nyc

manages ; spirit, 7mth, occasionally soul.

personality ; intimidating, caring, private, cold, strict

b-day ; 12/3/88

he has a big fat potty mouth.

grew up poor asf.

were all kinda scared of him (esp the boys) 😭

chainsmoker.

terrible with names.

honorary members (4/2)

this is an extremely odd thing to script but simultaneously one of the favorite things i have scripted for my desired reality. there are four idols in specific that my group is individually extremely close to. theyre literally always in our dorms (maybe not always...more like 1/4 of the time.) kinda like squatters.

⋆｡°✩ blueberry faygo - lil mosey ⋆｡°✩

"the cousins"

both were living in our dorms for two years... ('22-'24)

always bickering with each other.

used to date back in nyc but that ended terribly.

terrible drivers.

oops i did it again - britney spears

"just like the old gypsie woman said!!"

name ; junko jong 🪄

race ; east asian

origin ; new springville, staten island, nyc

nationality ; jamaican, dominican, american

group ; illit

personality ; dramatic, delusional, ambitious, charismatic

b day ; 7/16/05

jasons cousin. she ran away from nyc for no reason to stay with him in korea.

practices occult to little success. more like a magic trick.

broke beyond comprehension. (runs in the family ig?)

lockjaw - sirmixalot

"yeah take that tone"

name ; mickey mukherjee 🐉

race ; south asian, west african

origin ; staten island/queens

nationality ; trinidadian, american, puerto rican

group ; munkee (original 6 person bg under belift)

debuted ; 2024

personality ; loyal, snarky, helpful, delulu, responsible

b-day ; 4/10/05

jodhis nephew, and sooo clingy.

loves trashy reality tv. takes pleasure in others suffering.

went to korea to visit jodhi but got stuck there.

"the twins"

started off beefing with everyone in both groups.

close with the [same-sex] members individually.

turning japanese - the vapors

"who are you? comrade question?"

name ; jerry banzai 🧞‍♂️

race ; west african, east asian

origin ; west brighton, staten island.

nationality ; guyanese-american

group ; s6nic (original 6 member bg under ador)

debuted ; 2021

personality ; opportunist, quiet, deceptive, calculating

b-day ; 1/1/04

was in an indie band back in nyc.

hella suspicious. but unassuming.

colors - halsey

"I will literally emasculate you"

name ; tommy banzai 🧞‍♀️

race ; west african, east asian

nationality ; guyanese-american

origin ; west brighton, staten island.

group ; new jeans

personality ; determined, perfectionist, charismatic, creative

b-day ; 1/1/04

loco in the coco but good at hiding it.

stole my boyfriend when i was in 8th grade.

had an rebel/emo phase.

[fuxuannie]

Darling.

I saw you write for hsr and that you're requests are open

I was thinking blade X reader general hcs???

Please I'm begging on my knees do more blade content(⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠)

* pairing : blade x gender neutral reader

* prompt : request ♡

* authors note : deep dark confession, i actually have no idea what blades personality is like n i have like a version of him made up in my head so pls if hes ooc, tell me about how he is like canonically WAHHH. (i also experimented a little with this style of writing! if you're into it, let me know!)

* brief warning : lmao its so funny that i always have this with blade.. blade is blade yes yes _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

ּ ִֶָ ࣪✦ Where in BLADE seems so incredibly enamored and entertained by the General. (even if they planned to kill him, hes kinda into that though ngl)

— he likes to annoy you, you know damn well his presence alone gets you riled up. and honestly he finds it really cute lol

— even when he was already an escaping criminal, you knew that the knocks on your window late at night couldn't have been anyone else.

— "it's me again~" "get out."

— however, knowing you are the one reason he stays in luofu.. you tolerate it. you don't understand why hes so obsessed with you but if it meant keeping a criminal in control, you'll do it for your people.

— whenever he visits, its usually just one sided small talk as you're staring at him in your nightwear and sighing.

— "are you done?" "nope."

— eventually you start talking to him, cause if you can't rest might aswell do something in your restless hours.

— with each visit, you found yourself slowly opening up more and more. and he was also, quite literally getting closer to you. from only sitting on your window, to a chair, then sitting on the edge of your bed.

— you were honestly unsure on how to feel about this, because you knew the capabilities he was hiding behind that smirk. that really handsome smirk- wait what

— at some point, you were in insane denial of your feelings and wanted them gone. and so, one night you staged the ambush for when he'll visit.

— its seemingly going according to plan. the guards notice his presence within the darkness, but just as you expect him to get caught, he walks through your window at the exact time as yesterday, and the day before, and all the days before that.

— "i'm starting to think.. our fun is reaching its end." he'll say, leaning slightly out your window and looking at the groaning guards that were scattered all over the grounds of your home. each and every one were knocked out cold.

— you're trying to calm your racing heartbeat as he walks towards you, whether its fear or uh.. something else is IRRELEVANT!! he's towering over you, and you can barely utter a word out of yourself, you don't even notice that you began walking backwards, until your back meets a wall and you gasp. he slams one arm against the wall to trap you between him, a smirk on his face the entire time.

— "haaaahhh.. dontkillme." you say with a fearful tone, as he stops right infront of you and looms over you quietly. you're looking off to your right, and your heartbeat goes even faster at the sensation of his thumb finding itself on your chin, and his index finger right below your lips.

— he slowly makes you look at him, with how much time he was taking, it was almost teasingly. and the way he looked at you could've caused a HEART ATTACK. it was so full of want, like you were the most desired jewel across the galaxy, and he had you right in his fingers.

— he leans down, and you immediately stop breathing, he's so close that it's kinda scary but you're into it?? just as he's about to make contact with your lips, he chuckles to himself, pulls away and straightens himself once again. "you wanted me to kiss you, really?"

— you don't answer, but that alone speaks volumes. theres sound of chatter outside, mostly the yelling of guards, which makes blade click his tongue in annoyance.

— you're still kinda against the wall and trapped within his arms and his hand still holds onto your chin, so he pulls you surprisingly softly into a kiss, before breaking it and planting another to your forehead.

— "i hope to see you, and this time, maybe don't plan the death wishes of your guards." he says, bidding his farewell as he approaches your window. he salutes to you, blows you a kiss and disappeared into the night.

— almost as if it were staged, your guards burst into the room and immediately rush around and towards you in a defensive position, but you're not harmed nor seen with a trace of injuries or scratches across your body.

— "general? are you alright?" one of them asked, seeing you place your hands on your cheeks as clear disbelief was shining in your eyes. "i-i fear that the stelleron hunters may be here for far longer, i'll update you all if anything else happens. please leave my room, i'd like to be alone.

— once the figurative mist cleared, you walk towards your window and feel the cold breeze of midnight within your fingertips. you pull the frame to close it, before a small note falls through the cracks just as it shuts.

— it reads; "don't forget to not lock your windows.'

[kissingmensbiceps]

how/what i think jjk men smoke | ୨୧ warnings: mentions of smoking (duh).

୨୧ Satoru Gojo —

I think either Gojo is a chronic vaper, or when he sees people vaping he makes overdramatized coughing noises and talks about how his lungs are oh so healthy. No in between. But we will go with the first option.

I think Gojo is way too childish to actually enjoy the taste of a cigarette, a blunt, etc, and has the taste palette of a five year old (meaning he only eats chicken tenders and fries when available at restaurants). So he opts for vaping because theres so many flavors for him to choose from that meet his standards of tasting like candy.

I also think he secretly only wants to vape because he felt left out from his friends, he is subjected to peer pressure :(

୨୧ Suguru Geto —

This man smokes blunts. I feel like he’s very appointed when it comes to wrapping his joints. I don’t see him getting any special wraps like different colors or some design. But I can see Gojo buying him like, hello kitty wrappings as a joke and Geto just looks at him like, “what the fuck?” (he secretly likes them).

I think he partially does it for depression or something along those lines, or just does it because he enjoys the feeling of the silence in which he craves.

୨୧ Kento Nanami —

I truly do not think he smokes. He never wanted to get into the addiction because he knows it’s hard to stop once you start. He fears not being able to stop. Plus it’s not like he can take smoke breaks throughout the day at his job, even if he’s a very patient man, I don’t think he would be able to resist that urge.

If anything though, he would smoke cigarettes. He’s not into the fruity flavors like Gojo, and likes to feel as one and as whole as possible, so weed is not an option for him. I think if he were to somehow get convinced to smoke a blunt, he’d green out or get too overwhelmed. He likes to feel in control, especially of his own body.

He’s fine with the plain taste of tobacco. And unlike Gojo, he’s true to himself, meaning no one will peer pressure him into something he doesn’t want.

୨୧ Toji Fushiguro —

Anything. I feel like whatever is available to him, he’ll smoke it.

Since he’s a broke ass bum, I feel like he gets desperate at some points. He’s one of those one in a million kinda guys who willingly picks cigarette buds off the ground in attempt of smoking them, and then gets mad when he gets basically nothing out of it.

୨୧ Choso Kamo —

My precious baby is actually the dealer! I think out of any of them, he’s the one selling the shit. Choso, in my opinion, 100% smokes weed. He deals other hard drugs out but is smart enough not to do them!

I think he’s pretty chill when he gets high, like he’s not bouncing off the walls or anything. If anything, he gets sleepy.

୨୧ Ryomen Sukuna —

Again, I think he would smoke either cigars or pot. But I do think he’s picky about things as well. He’s not as dirty as Toji, he’s never picking up some humans leftovers in order to have a good time (secret germaphobe).

I feel like he has the desire to vape, but says shit like, “it’s not even real smoking”, or finds the flavors downright disgusting. He thinks that it’ll make him look weak? He honestly starting smoking to make himself look more badass, but soon fell into addiction and hasn’t been able to stop.

[pruneunfair]

What I would change about these manhwas

Matthias is the antagonist as he should be

Instead of a toxic romance story, it would be a story of survival in an abusive relationship

Would tackle the darkest parts of being a mistress to a rich man as a commoner

Claudine wouldn't be a villain and instead another victim of Matthias who becomes Laylas ally

Kyle is the new love interest

The ending would still be very tragic but Layla will at least escape her toxic relationship with Matthias

Obviously Javier isn't going to be the love interest anymore, that will go to Lucas

Javier also won't be a slave bought by Reilynn, they will meet normally and develop a found family like relationship

Iris will be more competent as a villainess

The empire would currently under the ire of the populace and on the brink of a revolution, meaning that Reilynn can't throw money everywhere to solve her problems while acting like a smug asshole about it without consequences thereby making room for character development

Her reputation will be lowered not just for the og villainesses past but also because of her latest behavior.

Reilynns new goal to avoid being sent to the guillotine by future revolutionaries would to try and become a better person with other allys like Javier to help her become more mindful of others

Honestly not much

Just have it be more faithful to the novel

Meaning Keira doesn't need a love interest

Ragibach learns Keiras game and starts to scheme with more strategy, making her an ever growing threat that gets stronger with each defeat she learns from

Zeke gets more attention

Ariande will still have the mentality that she's not wrong but it will actually be acknowledged as a flae

Isabella keeps her high intelligence and cunning behavior in the 2nd life

Ippolotio and Lucrezia are less cartoony villains and more disturbing as people

Larriesa is more then just a yandere fiancé, she'd have a backstory explaing her desire for love and her behavior will be toned down

Arabella would live longer then she did originally

Pretty much almost everyone will be an awful person with consequences

The golden rule will actually matter and give Ariande consequences when she does something evil

Ariande will try to understand her newfound powers instead of forgetting about them until the plot needs it

The first life will be referenced more

Hestia would be called out for her behavior

Cael would no longer be a cardboard cutout

Diana isn't the villainess anymore

The story would focus less on petty revenge but on all of the characters growing as people

The idea is how our biases for our favorite characters can cause us to literally distort the truth

As such instead of constantly blaming Diana until the very end, Hestia would focus on what SHE likes instead to get her mind off of it and discovers how thrilling life is again when she let's her revenge plot go

Cael's suicide would be treated less as a plot device to prove why Diana and Helios are evil but as an actual arc that brings up the real struggles of depression and suicidal thoughts

Helga would eventually stop taking everything out on Hilianne when she realizes it's not her fault the Duchess abused her

Of course this also means Hilianne won't be the punching bag

not all of the male characters will fall in love with Helga

lower Helgas plot armour SIGNIFICANTLY

let the other side characters actually use common sense and call Helga out on some of her bullshit

The running away plot would be handled better

Include some more flashbacks on Alisas family in Edenverre and drop more lore on the siblings we knew less about

Marianne will have more screen time to properly explain how her powers work

Luminas will either not be the love interest at all and instead be a mentor fot Aishas later abilities or he could be MENTALLY Aisha age so theres no maturity gap (think of Luminas still being 2000 but he's physically and mentally a early teen like Aisha)

Aisha would actually feel guilty about the innocent people killed by her father just for being related to her assassin

Ysis and Aisha would have more realistic sibling moments (Ex: Ysis doesn't immediately believe that Aisha is a reincarnated princess of the enemy empire)

Aria will still be descended from commoners

The war between Aria and Mielle will be more equal, basically a battle of traditional villainess vs white lotus

Asher would have a life and personality outside of Aria

The maids would also be their own characters and have some dignity

Isis is actually utilized properly

[yuckso]

Wrathia's Plan, the book foreshadowing the goals of each demon

This theory is about how each page of the specific demon actually foreshadows what they desire from each of their pact

First we see wrathia's page

The page next to her shows titan being stabbed or destroyed by what appears to be her magic, we know Wrathia's goal in the pact is to kill titan, and the page shows that.

We also know Tuls goal is to desire Ranancule, and Tylo's goal is to see her children being freed . And each of their pages show it:

From these images, the pages is potentially telling us what each of the demons desire. This could also potentially mean Renancule might also desire to meet again with Tuls ^^

So lets us see the rest of the pages of the demons that we know of, that could potentially be their goals in each pact:

In Nevy's case, first her desire was to recover her memory and be aware of what she is but since she has recovered a considerable amount of her memory. From the page she could potentially desire of what appears to be her and her people reuniting, or somewhat another demon that is part of kingdom.

For Pedri, he seems to desire of what looks like to be the egg that him and Wrathia hid away from titan. We see some sort of chains signifying the egg is locked away in some sort of place. Or it could be some jail like place with a circular door, that he desires to go into.

Now lets us look into the other demons that could potentially be their pages in the book based on their desire:

Alexa and her demon's goal is to find "someone" considering her demon has this "cloud" like theme, I speculate this page could be hers not only does it have those clouds theres also another demon next to her that could potentially be the demon she is desiring to find.

Next we have Aurora's demon which Aurora stated that "I was trying to find someone for him" and the page shows another demon that could potentially be what Aurora"s demon is trying to find. Now each of these speculations is just based on their appearances and desires there are actually others pages in the book about other demons desiring to find their partners too. But i picked these among all of them becuase they look the most accurate.

Last we have Tratar's demon:

I cant post the other pictures(due to the 10 images limit but ill post the full ver in my account again) but in terms of appearance that tratar"s demon only having one eye and the hairstyle. This could potentially be his demon desiring of what it seems to be a city or land that the demon is from.

Thats it for this theory, if this is legit then we can speculate the desires of the future demons we would see soon. Hope you enjoyed reading!

[tomboyyyaoi]

my tristamp take is that none of the group are close enough to really be called friends

roberto and meryl were colleagues who obviously had work banter and cared about eachother but ultimately didnt really Know eachother since we know by the beginning of the story they were only recently partnered

vash is literally the subject of their investigation whos also just hitching a ride east from them, also for vash he treats everybody with equal kindness, theyr as much his friends as rosa is, hes a century.5 old wanderer who deliberately keeps his distance + explicitly says theres "no way" roberto and meryl are his friends and sure its hard to tell when vash is being genuine bc of all of his deliberate emotional repression we can still take this as an insight that he was ready and willing to emotionally disconnect himself from them at the drop of a hat

and wolfwood is a funny case bc the audience catches their clear similarities and immediate Understanding in eachother but fails to see that these are 2 emotionally repressed men who Just Met and are just.. making eyes and assumptions but not really saying much, ofc wolfwood knows more than he lets on from his job but Knowing About A Guy and then making eyes and having an uncomfortable arms length dynamic with him bc u worry that He Knows about u too can hardly be described as being friends or even close.

by this point theyr people who have drifted by eachother, people who have crossed paths and were kind to eachother, theyr acquaintances who if u asked one about the other theyd go "yeah, wow, wonder what theyr up to, that was a weird 3 months" like theyr 4 strangers who trauma bonded at best but i like it that way

but ofc they all made an impact on eachother, we know meryl wont be able to let her old objective go bc she keeps going back to the julai pit, we know shes too invested in vash's mysterious life to let that go, we know wolfwoods only there for the shady organisation hiring him as a spy/guide but vash made an impact on him by piercing past his exterior by sheer experience in life and just Knowing and it freaked him out but he liked being seen for the time being, we know meryl and wolfwood cared about eachother bc of their teasing dynamic and similar (clashing) personalities and the way, out of everything, wolfwood went back into julai to save meryl, we dont know what happened after that but id like to think they stuck by eachother for a bit.

Roberto Fucking Died.

vash is the only one i can say would be content with never seeing them again, i want to think he misses them and thinks about them a lot bc muh ships but i Know for him they were a blip on the radar of "people who were kind to me" like everyone else. maybe theyr a bit more than that, maybe the thought of them lingers when he cant sleep or when hes showering, why did meryls voice break thru to him so much? why didnt she run away? why does he resonate with wolfwood so much? why is someone so kind with an organisation like the eye? what do they think after finding out the truth? are they even still alive? i think he lingers on them but he has no desire to track them, if they meet again it would be a nice example of fate or good luck but hes not going out of his way, he cant do connections, he cant get attatched.

theyr all weird distant acquaintances who have complicated feelings about the other but i think theyd all like to meet again in some way or another and i find that really captivating