#theres a time and place to be haunted but work hours is not it. until a mfer come into your room and be like

[todayisafridaynight]

sometimes i think about daigo interacting with the mundane and thinking about mine and i throw up a little bit ngl

[bluefisted]

@butter--peanut brings up something interesting in a recent ask that i am... not well over.

everyone writes obito in this position of coming to terms with events just fine if he's post-war under house arrest. like. i see a lot of him adjusting semi-well to life in konoha and i just really truly think he'd still be mad. for months and months he's still angry. and he's still angry at kakashi because it was supposed to be perfect. and it was going to be perfect until he fucking ruined everything again. he stopped infinite tsukuyomi. he never murdered rin. madara is dead. and everyone is just... so happy. everything's fine. except its not, and hes miserable, and kakashis still doing his job like he learned nothing.

obito just sitting in kakashi's apartment just... seething. one of those things where you just cant even focus on anything, a book, taking a walk, whatever just doesn't work. and hes tried! he tried, he tried, tried to go to the markets and tried to go out to eat by himself but its not right. its fake. and all these people and all their talking and all these jonin are the same. obito thinks he could kill them all if he wanted. obito doesnt finish what hes eating. when he walks through old alleys there are kittens of the old cats he took care of. everything is a ghost in konoha and obito is tired of being haunted.

and only being allowed to leave for two hours out of his day means that theres only one person on his receiving end. kakashi. and by god does kakashi get the shit end of it. obito was the ghost that haunted his dreams but now obito haunts his house, the one place that is supposed to be safe. its not, now, and it wont be for a long time. obito is a curse unable to be lifted, a demon that cant be prayed away. maybe its not traditional anger. obito doesnt waste his breath yelling. but he uses it where it counts, and it could be anything, any time.

"is that a new book?" "yeah." "for someone who fought to stay in reality so hard, you get lost in that bullshit constantly." "obito--" "fuck off, kakashi."

[thefluxqueen]

HIIII :) here to ask about the abyss tell me about it please please please love this sort of thing :3

HAIIII welcome :) to preface this im normal i swear. anyway The Abyss is what i like ta call my Horrible Horrible Maze, i made it w/ the goal of making the worst possible experience in minecraft to torment my friends ^_^

I enjoy putting people in situations and studying them :D 

On that note! everyone who runs the abyss (24 people at current count) I time and write a couple notes on them! the abyss is honestly half maze half personality test LMAO. at current moment the quickest time goes to @ghostpajamas with a baffling 03:24 (wild that he got out so quick, i win tho cause i haunt his dreams), and longest goes to the beloved @rendogdomesticated with 1:35:54 <3 special shout out ta my dearest @theoctagon tho wolff ur insane i love u. guy goes inta the abyss for fun and has like 10 pages and counting of insane person phsyical notes tryna map it out (hes reported that hes gone through the first one 60 times and the 2nd one 5 jesus chriiiistttt). the abyss is fond of Pilot :) also if wolff is the favourite than @potionofinstantdamage is the Least favourite, rude ass set the place on fire when he got stuck in there :( oof ouchie

Highlights from my notes include @quack-city running backwards and upon me asking Why, simply replied “what if there’s slenderman :(‘ ... cant argue w/ that! he also hadda stop mid run so we decided its funnier if he’s just stuck in there forever. @newtbeetle was in there for like an hour and would NOT shut up about Paul Dano the whole time which was a time (love u beebs. ur isnane). my two test runners are @kishdoodles and @officialgleamstar and they had about the same time but like Opposite reactions it was very funny, kish treated it like they were a streamer n kept a like constant chatter, and travvy was like DEAD silent the whole time n Intensely focused akjewkjr tbh outta all 24 runners trav’s been prob the most like, methotical bout it? LIKE I SAID personality test. i Love studying people. 

In regards to its origins I came up w/ the idea back in like feb/march ish of this year and from start to finish it took me like 2 weeks ish i was on the Grind. u dont understnad how much black concrete this thing took. hell on earth,,, darkwoods has an economy/shopping district and i bought out like All the sand/gravel available akjwekjr the rest i hadda gather myself n God gravel sucks. also ive killed So Many Squids. the 2nd abyss was much easier ta gather supplies for cause i could ask for help w/ supplies n i kept the first one a Complete secret minus my test runners (i hadda bitch at SOMEONE while makin it or i wouldve died i think. speakin of the first abyss has a death count of 13 and the 2nd one has like, 5 or somefin? rlly shouldve writen that down akjwerjk those are Entirely me dying in the process of buildin them btw. its not a true Spain Build unless its mildly dangerous <3) The 2nd one also made me learn redstone, notably i specifically studied Tango’s decked out process vids from s7, tho i really only stole like two aspects of it n i couldnt even get one ta work properly LMAO

The second abyss took me like, wayy longer ta make, bout two months ish (i finished it like mid july). not necessarily in actual like, time spent building but cause in the process of makin it i had Two month long events i was in (Voiceteam in may and Art fight in july) so that distracted me a bit wkwnekeneie Im a bit more secretive bout the second abyss in general since not That many people have actually ran it compared ta the first n theres actually like, Things that can be spoiled in there <3 i like seein peep’s initial reactions its much more satisfying.

This didnt happen w/ everyone but i think a like, Core part of running the abyss is getting emotionally attached ta weird things. i wouldve said just torches until a few days ago when Tac (onea the rat server mods) ran it and claimed the stack of pumpkin pies i gave her as family. But Prior Ta That several people have had very intense emotions bout the redstone torches, whether love or hate or both, key example ft dog: 

Also not everyone ive mentioned on this post is in darkwoods! ive got a server i world editted the abyss inta so non-server members can run it for fun and profit (more data for me) :) on that note ive been slowly infecting the rat gang server cause my friend’s in there alot n another friend of mine’s a mod so peeps in there’ve been runnin it lately :) shout out ta TalonMC for lettin me subject him ta the Horrors literally our first conversation, onea my more fun first impressions i’d say

In regards to lore the abyss is a parasitic entity that infects anyone who gets stuck in there n slowly compells them ta go build their own lmao. note that ive only called the second abyss the Second one and not Abyss 2, because its technically just The Abyss as well cause theres many of them i just made it second wowjdkenejd (a real example of this is Wolff gettin obsessed w/ the abyss n then goin n buildin his own build called the Tower :) very excited bout that) The Abyss has a weird like fucked up warlock bond w/ my goddess oc The Overseer :D Her design’s vaugely based off my irl friend @hotcollectionoftubs cause her creation The Hole on a creative world her n some other friends of mine are on was onea the main insperations for certain aspects of the abyss’ lore :D mainly the teal in the colour palette and the whole ‘the [hole/abyss] provides’ thing. 

(my reference images for her and 3rd pic's art i commissioned from the Lovely @opuntie):

my darkwoods chara, Snake, is a whole nother bag entirely (basic gist is they’re a dimension traveler not by choice and darkwoods is the 3rd world theyve been in, their deal’s worth a whole post of its own lmao) i built the first abyss entirely unrelated ta my chara just as like, fun weird build ta torment my friends w/o yaknow? but then as i was buildin the 2nd one i was like hmmmmmm. alotta things could make sense if i made this one built by Snake. so their retirement arc on darkwoods turned inta even MORE trauma! wahoo! poor guy deserves a break,,, (he will not be getting one). 

(pre abyss + post abyss. i gotta properly draw pre-darkwoods Snake at some point but this dudes changed Alot ill say that lmao. both crops from bigger pieces on my art blog @fluxydrawings)

Anyway thats basically it! ive got more details and things locked in my brain ill probably remember in like 2 days after postin this so theres a chance ill reblog this w/ extra shit later lmao, sides that tho the abyss is my babygirl n thank yall for showin interest ^_^

Memes n shit to end us off:

[81scorp]

My top 7 movies of 2022

Hey folks! Its that time again! That day youve all been waiting for. That day of the year when I talk about movies I`ve seen and rank them according to my own personal taste and bias! Like 2020 and 2021, 2022 was another year where I decided to play it safe and keep away from the cinemas. So this is my "The movies that I planned to see in cinema in 2022 but watched on DVD instead" list.

7: Thor: Love and thunder There is a difference between not taking things too serious and not taking things serious enough. Thor Ragnarok is the former, Love and thunder is the latter. Sometimes bathos can work and sometimes it is even quite welcome. Its a matter of how it is used, where it is placed and how often it is used. But bathos aside theres also some tonal inconsistency and in the climax a character pulls out an eleventh hour superpower that should have been forshadowed earlier in the movie. Good work from Hemsworth and Bale though, and I like that they gave Portman more to do in this one. Didnt like it as much as Ragnarok but its better than Iron man 2.

6: Death on the Nile Monsieur Hercule Poirot (and his little grey cells) travels to Egypt where he meets his old friend Bouc and is soon forced to solve a murder mystery on a boat travelling on the Nile. Feels similar to Murder on the Orient Express but not quite as memorable. Visually good looking and we get a tragic origin story for why Poirot has a moustache. Yes, Poirot`s moustache has a tragic origin story.

5: Black Panther: Wakanda forever T'Challa passes away, his sister Shuri is left picking up his mantle and the Kingdom of Wakanda is under pressure from other nations to share their vibranium, some even try to take it by force. And as if things werent tough enough already for the royal family of Wakanda they are also being attacked by the forces of Atlantis. It cant be easy to make a movie when the main star dies. I wonder how much had to be changed because of Bosemans passing. Letitia Wright has said some dumb things in real life but here she delivers a good performance, so I cant really complain here. Cant complain about Tenoch Huertas performance either, a guy who flies around in swimming trunks with wings on his feet could easily have gotten silly but he makes it work. The movie is good but doesnt have quite the same WOW feeling that I got from the first one. A result of Boseman`s passing, or is it just hard to make magic happen again? Worth checking out.

4: Turning red Meilin "Mei" Lee, a confident over-achiever, has a good life and is doing well at school until she turns thirteen and has to deal with puberty and turning into a giant red panda everytime she gets excited. Not the next Ratatouille or Inside out, nor does it have to be. It`s fun, enjoyable and feels like a story someone wanted to tell.

3: Top Gun: Maverick Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, now working as a testpilot, is given the job of training an elite group of Top Gun graduates in a mission to destroy an uranium enrichment plant before it becomes operational. Old memories come back to haunt him when he discovers that one of his students, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, is the son of his deceased best friend "Goose". Yes, it is pretty much a feature length recruitment ad for the U.S. Air force, but that aside, a lot of care and effort was put into this movie. For instance the scenes where the pilots are in their cockpits were made by having the actors delivering their performances while being in real planes that flew for real. The G-force that you see on their faces is the real thing. There`s a lso a touching scene where Maverick is reunited with Iceman. The movie uses nostalgia here and there but nevere so much that it becomes a crutch. Worth a watch.

2: Nope One day, metal objects start to rain over the Haywood ranch where Otis Haywood, together with his son Otis Jr., trains and handles horses for film productions. One of the metal objects hits and kills Otis Sr. Six months later Otis Jr. (O.J.) is forced to sell some of his horses to Ricky "Jupe" Park who runs a western theme park called "Jupiters Claim". And as if thing werent bad enough, a UFO shows up and starts stealing some of the other horses from the Haywood ranch. O.J and his sister decide to put up cameras to document and sell evidence of the UFO's existence, but soon discover that getting the UFO in front of a camera is not gonna be that easy. Nope is an interesting movie. It sets up a mystery and gradually reveals more of it at the plot progresses, and some the reveals are not what youd expect. But it also brings up not only black peoples contributions to the cinema but also how those contributions have been silenced. Like when one of the characters talk about "Animal locomotion", a sequence of pictures, published in 1887, depicting a black man riding a horse. Like many great Horror movies before it, its horror with some social commentary.

And now… Drumroll please. My number one pick for 2022 iiis…

1: Everything everywhere all at once Evelyn Wang, a chinese american running a laundromat with her husband Waymond is being audited by the IRS, her marriage is failing and her relationship with her gay daughter could have been much better. Suddenly her husband becomes possessed by an alternate version of himself and tells her that she needs to stop a great multidimensional threat. This movie is crazy, absurd and completely sincere. Its a martial arts movie, a Sci-fi and a family drama. It balances and juggles many things, is incredibly silly but not in a way that undercuts the sincere, serous and heartfelt moments. Yes, once again, feels are my kryptonite but its not just that. Its that it combines all these crazy things AND knows how give me the old feels. It teaches us the importance of being kind. Especially when we dont know what`s going on.

Aand those are the movies I watched in 2022.

Written stuff: 52

Started writing this: 2023-11-29

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

[om-headcanon]

☆ mc catching the obey me brothers crying

i believe its fair to assume mc has seen at least one of the boys cry. here is what i believe happened. (if you want me to do undateables, let me know! tw for low self worth, panic attacks, and survivors guilt/death mentions)

lucifer

without a doubt the most embarassed to be caught crying

he had just gotten into an argument with diavolo, and he questions his importance in diavolos life

he goes into the study to get some extra work done late at night to reassure himself he is useful

with all of the stress from the situation at hand and some stress from supporting the family on his back, he cant help but shed a few tears

all he wants to do is keep those around him happy and healthy... and it tears him apart when he cant

if i cant make the ones i love happy then... what can i do...

he doesnt notice your presence, as he has hands over his eyes and is breathing slowly in order to relax himself

you call out his name softly to get his attention

lucy jumps and tries wiping his eyes and playing it off as if he was never crying

you walk closer to him and he keeps inquiring if theres anything you need

you dont say anything, you just place your arms around him and hold him in a tight embrace

and he starts crying again on your shoulder... harder, this time. holding you tighter and closer in the embrace

because of his pride, its hard for him to admit what he needs the most: someone to show they care for him

mammon

mammon is the type to not cry often but when he does, its a lot

while his brothers dont really have bad intentions, the daily degradation they execute against mammon really gets to him

he can only put up his confident front for so long, and not long after a fight with asmo, it recedes

he lay on his bed sobbing heavily into a pillow to muffle the sound for nearly a full hour

his mind cant help but insist all the words his siblings tell him are true... and he wishes more than anything that you were there to tell him they werent

he looks up to the door every once in a while with blurry vision, mind convincing him theyre at the door, but you not being there makes him cry even harder

maybe they just think the same as the rest of my brothers

he hears the doorknob, but convinces himself its his mind again. ironically enough, this makes him cry even harder

except its actually you this time

you run over to his bed to sit down next to him and rub his back reassuringly, asking if hes alright

he jolts up, shocked youre actually here. he closes his mind and smiles sadly with a tear stained face

he pulls you into an embrace and whispers a soft thank you... your presence helps him more than you will ever know

you hold him for a few minutes and tell him how awesome the Great Mammon really is

leviathan

its been a long stressful day at rad, and he cant help but overthink every single action he has made

every single glance hes made, every single word hes said ... just everything

most days he would resort to playing a game or watching an anime he loves in attempt to distract himself, but other days its not that easy

he starts spiraling, thinking of not only everything hes done that day, but actions hes done in the past too

eventually hes past the point of no return, and starts having a panic attack

levi cant seem to catch his breath and with the thoughts still rushing through his head at full speed, he cant attempt to calm himself down

he envies those who dont feel the way he does right now because god, what he would do to not feel like this

you were just wondering why your gaming buddy hasnt come looking for you so naturally, you go to him

you knock on his door waiting for him to ask you for the entry code... but theres no response

you enter and are quite shocked to see levi shaking on his bed

this is familiar to you... whether youve had to guide a friend through a panic attack or have been through one yourself, you know what to do

you reassure him this will all pass and knowing how hard school is for him, you tell him he did well today

you get him to regulate his breathing and gain some composure

hes embarassed you had to see him like that... but he lets you know hes so thankful that you came to help him

satan

he just wants to be his own person but with how his life was set for him, its almost as if thats a tall order

its very rare he cries from happiness or anything like that, but sometimes he gets so sad that he gets angry... and then he cries a lot

no one dares to go near him like that

and that hurts him too... that nobody could or would ever dare to console him because they fear what hed do to them

he acknowledges this is a justified fear as he is after all the representation of wrath itself, but it still hurts nonetheless

belphie decided to poke fun and tease satan reminding him of how hes lucifers shadow

he didnt take it well... and retreated to his room to handle his emotions

he knew his family didnt want anything to do with him while he was angry... and that made him feel like a burden

but he grew used to everyone expecting he handle his emotions himself even if every once in a while he desired some reassurance

satan sat in a corner of his room crying to himself waiting for this to pass because he didnt believe anyone else would care to check on him

but you were curious as to why he wasnt in his usual 4 pm reading spot, so you decided to check his room

he was just sat completely still staring into the distance while tears fell down his face

he didnt even notice your presence until you sat down next to him

you didnt want to pry, so you just asked if he wanted to talk about it

he shook his head, laid on your shoulder, and just said “this is all i need”

asmodeus

ahh... while self love is so easy for him, self value isnt

its easy for him to believe people want to be around him solely with lustful intent rather than because they genuinely love him

he doesnt really believe anyone could ever love him

so he overcompensates through self love because he believes hes the only person who could ever love him

hes great at hiding it but sometimes, this gets to him... especially after some quick encounters with others at the fall

he thinks maybe there is no depth to him.. maybe i really am just a pretty face and nothing else

asmo cries pretty often, but he only lets people see him cry when its over something material (ie, he couldnt get a new bag hes been wanting for weeks)

he cries quietly too in effort to make sure nobody sees him

he seemed to have forgetten that you two were planning to go shopping today so you went to his room to see if he was ready

you werent expecting to see him rolled over in bed softly crying to himself

you startled him when you said his name

“oh, mc, i didnt see you there!” he chuckles lightly to himself in effort to change the mood of the atmosphere as he wipes his eyes

you ask if hes okay and his sad smile falls slightly

he asks you if you genuinely think he could ever be lovable

your heart breaks a little knowing that he even has a moment of self doubt, but you reassure him that hes a lovable person inside and out

you hug him tightly while another tear falls down his face

you two decide shopping is best for another day... for now, you just want to talk and do facials

beelzebub

beel loves his family a lot

more than he loves food (also a lot)

he hates conflict between them and would do absolutely anything to avoid it

what he hates the most about himself is how hungry he gets... hes aware its poorly timed but theres really nothing he can do about it

but the feeling hes being an inconvenience to those he loves hurts him

beel is great at smiling as often as possible, but if theres any tension between the family, he wont stop crying until its resolved

once he was so hungry it wasnt possible to control himself and he ended up going on a rampage

he earned scolds from lucifer, mammon, and satan for this

it tore him apart knowing that he had caused his family trouble for even a second and he started crying because of the guilt

he couldnt even find enough energy to make it back to his room, so he just sat in the kitchen with tears on his face

you had decided to go to the kitchen to get a snack when you saw him

he apologized for being in the kitchen and offered to move if you wanted his seat, but you declined

beel didnt even bother wiping the tears from his eyes... he wore them like they were a punishment for his own behavior

when you asked him what was wrong, all he said was that he was a bad brother

you tried to tell him otherwise, but then he went into detail about the situation and how all he does is cause the family distress

you told him that isnt true at all and he continues to bring light and happiness to all those around him

hearing that his brothers will come around and know he meant no harm is all he needed to hear

“thank you, mc... i feel less hungry when im with you”

belphie

he has lots of survivors guilt

its been millenia but he still wishes that it was him instead of lilith

because of this he cries quite often, but never in front of anyone other than beel

this feeling that lilith and him should have traded places haunts him often, and its not always so easy to sleep it off

as fore mentioned, he usually finds comfort in talking to his older twin but beel isnt always there

beel was at one of his clubs at rad and belphie didnt want to bother him, but he really did need someone right now

unlike his older brothers, belphie actually makes an effort to find you

he doesnt find you in your room nor the kitchen, so he continues to search around the house in hopes youre around here somewhere

he happens to find you by yourself in the study on your d.d.d.

belphie feels bad bothering you, and enters the room quite quietly

“mc, can we talk?”

he sits down next to you and lays his head on your shoulder

contrary to what he stated he wanted, not much talking is being done

he just lies there quietly crying with no explanation why

he realises he may not be as ready to talk about it as he thought... but thats okay

you tell him that youre going to listen whenever hes ready to talk about it

that makes him feel a lot better

he falls asleep right there with a thankful smile placed on his face

[furiosity-wills-the-cat]

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

[troublesometrollhunters]

Redeemed Morgana General Romance Headcannons

She survived her redemption after smitting Arthur, releasing his soul finally letting him be free. But now she must live with the guilt and shame she feels. Her pain and her anger is the reason everthing has happened. Hate destroyed Arthur and it destroyed her. Now she must fix all the things she's done and build trust with people who despise her. Good thing she has you too help.

Trust is hard to earn and takes time to build. Morgana has hurt so many people, lashing out from her own hurt. She has many apologies to make and many bad habits to break. One day she will be forgiven but until then she must work hard to prove she is not who she once was.

Hisirdoux grew up in the Castle when Merlin took him in. He knows the old Morgana, you know the old Morgana, and your both determined to bring her back. She had so much good in her and all her ideas brought light to the world. She is a powerful mage with strong opinions and if she focused her magic and passion on the right things she could make the world a better place.

Toby is surprisingly the first one on the Trollhunters Team to reach out. He knows what it's like to loose your family and he also knows evil people can become good. Aarrrgh is weary of her but when she gets on her knees apologizing for giving Gunmar power, for allowing him to hurt his people, and not taking better control of what King Arthur was doing to trolls Aarrrgh knows she means it. She is forgiven and he promises someday she will have his trust but for now they are merely allies. Not friends yet but... soon. Aarrrgh understands pain and hurt, he understands becoming something your not and he knows Morgana can fix her past mistakes just as he did.

Aarrrgh, Toby, Hisirdoux, and you now have a big job ahead of you. Now you must help the others trust or at least tolerate Morgana and show that she is no longer a threat. One battle where she helps defeat her brother and save Hisirdoux's life isn't enough on a never ending list of all the bad she's done in the past. She will have to work hard to make up for what she's done but helping defeat her brother was a good first step.

Jim and Blinky are next. It takes Aarrrgh Toby and you to help push them but Jim slowly understands why Morgana has done what she's done and he does his best to forgive her. He was there when Morgana fell, he was there when she protected him and Claire. She was a radical woman stuck in a time where she had no true power. Forced to submit to people who did not have her beliefs and forced to be someone she wasn't. You buffer their conversations and soon Jim finds himself going to Morgana for advice and trusting what she tells him. It's not a lot but it's a start.

Blinky is hesitant but he bonds with Morgana over their shared love of books and writing. Morgana explains to him when she was a young girl she'd spend hours in the library reading books. In the castle they were one of her only soliaces. You and books that is. They talk about old authors and history long forgotten by humans. Blinky gives Morgana an old book she mentioned loving and it's a slow way towards amends but it's a gesture to show she's getting there and it's enough for her. When she tells you what happened its enough to make you tear up as Morgana reads the book to you, sharing a tender moment and celebrating a step in the right direction.

It takes some time for Jim to regain his confidence with everyone encouraging him. But when he finally does feel ready Excalibur is his to wield. Morgana focuses on the magic part of the blade and unlocking it's power while Blinky helps retrain him to fight with a bigger and different shaped sword. He no longer posseses Merlins amulet but Morgana assures him he is worthy of her late brothers sword and he is still a Trollhunter. She never thought she'd work with one of Merlins champions but she'd rather work with Jim than any other Hunter.

As Jim trains with Excalibur you have one last apology to give. Claire. Claire thinks you've put a spell on her friends and is very defensive when either you or Morgana come near her. She thinks your a spy and you only want to trick them, that your friendship is built on lies. It takes time and patience but eventually Claire tells you why. She opens her heart about the possession and the Shadow zone and how Morgana hurt her and there's a lot of yelling but it's okay. You and Morgana understand. You comfort the girl thanking her for her vulnerability and her strength.

You decide to give the team time to reflect on everythings thats happened. Morganas made her apologies and has worked towards redemption now its time to let the others think of what she's said and take some time for yourselves. You propose a little vacation into town. You want her to learn about what she's missed and see how different the 21st is from the 12th.

It's time for Morgana to see the New World. It's something Morgana can't even believe. Woman have rights to their bodies and have so much more freedom than she ever did. There are so many more inventions and food is much more accessible. The streets are clean and the people seem happy. However out of everything you show her the local cafe bookstore has got to be one of her favorites. Something old mixed with something modern she enjoys the baked goods and loves the strange drinks as she browses the many books. Any dates now happen there where she can catch up on a few hundred years of reading or at the cinema where she sees the books she reads come to life.

Hisirdoux is the first to visit you on your self imposed excile. He brings wine and snacks and you and Morgana are never one's to turn down a fun conversation about magic. You talk about books, spells, potions, and Camelot. You reminesce late into the night about the good old times and Douxie assures you, your both doing great.

When you come back after a few weeks the group is happy to see you both again. They'd all missed Morgana and you and even Claire admits she missed having another female wizard around. It takes awhile but she eventually moves on accepting Morgana is no longer evil. The Trollhunters they all remember but they forgive.

Blinky asks Morgana about the books she's been reading while Toby and Jim ask her for stories about Excalibur and Camelot. Claire soon joins in having questions about magic and Aarrrgh chuffs watching curiously. Morgana still has the pain of her past haunting her but she's never felt more assured she'll heal or that everything will be okay.

It's a slow path to redemption but with you by her side to smooth things out its not as slow as it'd be alone. As you take her home she gives you a kiss. If theres one thing she missed most while she was locked away, it was you.

[deceasedanddesist]

stuck in detention ( james potter )

this is for @ladyvesuvia’s 400 follower writing challenge! although she has 700 now :)

pairing: james potter x ravenclaw!reader

gender neutral!reader: if you see any mistakes let me know and i’ll fix it

warnings: none

notes: if you saw this when i accidentally posted it unfinished….. no you didn’t. also this is unedited and i wrote it on my phone so my grammar is going to be shit.

word count:

heres the thing;

you never actually meant to get detention, you swore to merlin himself that breaking your boyfriends ( who, conveniently, is now your ex boyfriend ) nose was a completely an accident. 

it seems as though saying your “hand slipped” didn’t really sell it to professor flitwick, and to ashton davies, who now has an undeserved vendetta against you. 

so what? in case he forgot, he was the one who cheated on you, and didn’t even seem the tiniest bit remorseful about it! but it didn't bother you, if anything, you knew it was coming. after months of him telling you how you were too intense, and making you suppress your personality because it was “too suffocating for him to be around”. you just got so sick of it, rightfully bloody so in your opinion. but because professor flitwick didn’t agree, you were stuck in detention during the first quidditch game of the year! your team, out on the pitch, without their captain, against gryffindor of all houses.

curse james potter and his stunningly good training regimen, you figured he was basking in the glory of not having to deal with you. he’s probably gloating to his team right now, and you could picture the frustratingly fit face that is going to be haunting your brain after ravenclaw looses.

its not that you are not confident in your team, because, you were very proud of their progress and you were very sure they are capable of kicking gryffindors arse. but at the end of the day, at team is like a puzzle, if one piece is missing, there is no way for it to become cohesive. and without their team captain, you really couldn’t predict the fate of your team.

thats why, you were in a pretty glum mood on your way to the library. you figured flitwick took pity on you when he gave you library duty, after all, it probably was the only thing he could see you enjoy doing for detention. not that you were always reading or something, that was the most hated stereotype among most ravenclaws. most of you guys don’t even read, but you can find a certain kind of solace in a good book that you don’t get with anything else.

walking in, you greeted madam pince with a small smile before continuing to the back where you knew a giant stack of books were waiting for you to organize.

as you made your way through the shelves, you heard a loud yelp, but when you looked back at madam pince she was just staring at you with a watchful eye.

you cautiously continued, but you speed up into a jog when a groan followed. you whipped around the corner to come face to face with james potter himself, flailing his limbs under a pile of books.

“potter?” you questioned, “you’re supposed to be on the pitch acting like an idiot, why are you doing it here?”

the boy on the floor scoffed in reply, holding his and out to you.

you stared at it awkwardly, brows furrowed.

“mind giving me a hand here, (l/n)?”

“oh!” your hand shot out to help haul his body up, you were pretty much half of his size so you didn’t know why he reached out to you.

“so, what are you in for?” he joked, but looked as if he was expecting an answer, so you gave him one.

“slept in.” you shrugged.

hey, you didn’t say you would tell him the truth!

“i find that hard to believe,” james huffed, “(y/n)(l/n), sleeping in? right before the first quidditch game of your seventh year?”

you wanted to be mad at him, but for as much of an airhead he is, the boy read you like a book. there was no way, rhyme, or reason you would be sleeping instead of going over quidditch plays or berating your team.

perhaps intense was the correct way to describe you after all, and fuck ashton davies for making you realize it after he cheated on you. you honestly wouldn’t of had a problem with it if he had decided to man up and actually break up with you before he slept with someone else.

you must have been lost in your thoughts for a minute, because james was snapping his fingers in front of your face.

“hello? earth to (y/n).”

“sorry. but enough about me,” first you lie, and if that doesn’t work ( it usually does) you evade further questioning. “how did you get in here, don’t act like i’m tougher on my team than you.”

“yeah, we’re both hard-asses.” he agrees, “i accidentally set someones hair on fire in transfiguration.”

you opened your mouth to ask, but ultimately ended up keeping it yourself, james seemed to approve.

“you don’t want to know.” you nodded, and that was that.

you began to pick up the books from the floor and place them back into the boxes that james seemed to have knocked over. they were labeled and you probably would have thought it was fairly easy at first glance, but judging by the amount of boxes and your clumsy detention partner, you estimated it would keep you for at least a few hours, if not the whole day.

after you filled the potions box with the correlating textbooks, you made your way to the designated section of the library. you started to place the books in alphabetical order by author, and just when you placed ‘advanced potion making’ by libatius borage on the shelf, it immediately flung off the shelf and straight into what would have been your face if you hadn’t moved at the last minute.

after you got over the shock of an almost broken nose ( which you found very ironic ), your head whipped around to a very shocked james at the end of the isle you were standing in.

he visibly got paler once the realization of what happened set in, but before you could confront him, he had set of into a run.

so, you did what any sensible and composed person would do, and you chased after him.

although he has longer legs, your endurance was unmatched. and this was proven when he started to slow down after five minutes, but without realizing you were right on his tail, he stopped. you sucked in a breath to brace yourself before you collided with him, and the next thing you knew the both of you were toppling to the floor.

james groaned as you rolled off of his chest and onto the floor beside him as madam pince rushed over to find out where the commotion was coming from.

“its actually surprisingly clean down here.” you noted as madam pince stared down at you and james with upmost displeasure.

she muttered something along the lines of “why did i take this job” and “i hate children” as she walked back to her desk, still shaking her head.

james waited until she was out of sight before bursting out into laughter.

““its actually surprisingly clean down here”? really?” the boy was practically crying now, a great contradiction to your pure confusion. you had never made someone laugh like this before, your friends only ever giggling out of pity at your odd observations.

when his fit was over, he cocked his head at you and made a face. albeit, you were probably looking at him weird, but who wouldn’t be. you only ever knew him as an opponent, as the two of you shared the same position in quidditch. chasers were a pertinent part of the game, and you and james potter were both the only second years accepted onto the house teams. it made you wonder if you were just imagining all of competitiveness, and now, in the midst of your very last year, just realizing it.

“what?” he looked more confused than you at this point, so you decided to let him in on your thought process.

apparently, your mouth had other plans, because what came out of it was “i punched ashton davies in the face.”

“what!” he yelled, resulting in a ‘shhhhhhh’ in reply from pince.

“thats why i’m in detention, i broke his nose.”

to your surprise, he smiled “i knew you didn’t sleep in, you wouldn’t let down your team like that.”

you scoffed, “it doesn’t matter james, i still let them down. i should have controlled my anger.”

he shook his head, “look, i don’t know much about you, but i do know you’re a reasonable person.” you sighed, so he continued, “let me rephrase: if you broke someones nose, there has to be a good reason, because theres no way you’d miss your last first game.”

“yeah, you’re right.” you said as you got up, brushing yourself off before holding out a hand to him, “he deserved it.”

another laugh from the boy behind you, “i’m sure he did.”

you smiled, checked the time, told james your time was up, and headed back to the front of the library. though, when you guys turned the corner both of you were faced with flitwick and mcgonagall, who told you that fooling around wasn’t to be tolerated and the two of you would be spending your weekend in detention to finish the job.

as you left, you found yourself in the best mood you’ve been in all year, and to your surprise, you found yourself actually some what excited for this weekend’s detention.

[coffeeteaitsallfine]

please what does your pinned post meannn

Glade you asked because it haunts me (the pinned post)

First of all I took some liberties in placing the 'me' still after the 'who?' so it could answer the question but its still on the paper and visually tells the same story. the 'me' smeared with blood is given weight on camera. its important.

if you know blog theory then you know theres an underlying story thats the "real" story which we see glimpses of in s4. john the unreliable narrator either lets it slip or purposely puts it there as a cry for help (how i see it).

For context I'd like to refer to a study in pink. The mystery of that episode revolves around murder by forced suicide. People who are implied to be or explicitly are having affairs (*cough* tst this'll be important later) and one woman who is an explicit alcoholic-- all john mirrors. Sherlock is talking about them to mrs hudson when he notices lestrade just stopped by.

"3 exactly the same" "4. there's been a fourth and there's something different this time." "You know how they never leave notes?. . . this one did."

but of course they're not suicide notes per se. the woman - Jennifer Wilson was having an affair, and had a still born daughter, RosieRachel who's name she left to lead them to her killer. Thematically, suicide is a huge part of the narrative of this show implicity with john in asip and explicitly with sherlock in trf. I could over dissect this for hours, but this is the important factor to consider for john in s4. Murder-suicides were murky in asip because really a suicide IS a murder but without an obvious killer. these people were threatened with a not even real gun or they could take a 50/50 chance so to speak and not die by taking the pill.

Ok, re: Series 4 a Chekhov's gun is an important concept as well, so we can connect these two concepts. the show has done its work to have us associate guns, notes and pills with suicide.

beautifully (in the last frame on that post) in the opening credits, the show blends images of the Note made by faith in tld with a callback to sherlocks fake suicide so we are visually connecting the two. sherlock standing on top of bart's is not in s4 it doesn't have to be there but they did it for a reason.

In tst, it is haunting to me that john gives molly (thee john mirror) a NoteTM to give to Sherlock. Verbally we're told john would "rather have anyone but you." He takes the note gets in the cab and leaves. we see him reading the note. but WE the audience do not see exactly what he's reading. on the surface level the note john gives to sherlock is "bad writing" because of the rule of Chekhov's gun. it has to come back and it does but in a different form. the very next episode the real Faith writes down the note with all the information she can remember that her serial killer father (john mirror) told her (killing is a metaphor for sex sorta but let's not go there right now). Then red dress faith -- BIGGEST john mirror ever! and the most important one in the show besides molly -- brings this Note to sherlock who's lost his mind over it/the events of tst.

and then BEAUTIFULLY sherlock figures out the answer to the question of "who my father wanted to kill" in a flashback to the scene where he gets a Note from john through molly and he remembers the word "anyone." So the figurative gun went off. As an episode, tld is bookended with a visual of a gun that has gone off: we hear the gun but don't see it until afterwards. Same with the end of tld when john is about to be killed by Eurus (john mirror) with a gun. we hear it go off but don't see it or who it hits-- not technically, it's just heavily implied. this is very cherry orchard by the way.

so the Note in tld tells us everything we need to know about John--just indirectly. we never learn explicitly what was in the note john wrote to sherlock in tst, but we don't NEED to because we are told everything we need to know in tld.

Some people interpret the entire of s4 as john's note. I think just tld is the note personally. Some people think john only faked his death or faked his suicide, or he actually did try to kill himself, though it could both honestly. Still, if he did actually try to kill himself I have the opinion that he would've taken pills and drank a lot, maybe in a car :|, or something similar the details aren't really important but it's definitely a lot less permanent than using a gun. the gun just makes things feel more urgent and life or death.

that's everything I think though I could write a lot more essays on this if you have more questions.

[bangtaninink]

“it’s never a bad time to watch 'shrek’!” + joon (i dont have an au for this bc theres never a specific instance for shrek. watching shrek is good all the time)

DRABBLE NUMBER......... 006 MEMBER............................ kim namjoon (rm) AU......................................... police

"_____, i count two behind you," namjoon's voice comes through your earpiece. "watch your six."

"got it," you reply, voice low, keeping your grip tight on your pistol as you round the corner, pressing your back against the wall and listening for approaching footsteps.

"they're about five steps behind you."

you nod, despite not being able to see namjoon directly. the footsteps grow louder, and you count one, two, three, four...

you quickly turn over the corner of the wall, arm extended to fire a bullet into the shoulder of each of the men following behind you, impact knocking them back. another bullet each shoots the guns from their hands, and you run, gun pointed at the them.

"don't even think about moving, you two," you say, boot coming down onto one man's chest to keep him still. "seoul metro police. you're both under arrest."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"man, i hate to say it, but that was kinda badass," hoseok says, grinning as he approaches you and namjoon. "good job, you two."

"thanks," you say, chuckling as you pull the velcro strip keeping your vest shut.

"i hardly think i can take any of the credit," namjoon says, leaning against the patrol car. "considering i was just surveillance today."

"i know," hoseok says, already walking off. "i was just trying to be nice. _____ definitely did all the work."

"_____. namjoon."

the both of you turn to see yoongi approaching, arms tucked into the pockets of his coat, plumes of smoke slipping from the top of the thick scarf wrapped around his neck.

"congratulations," he says, corners of his lips just slightly lifted in something that looks like a smile. "i see your crazy plan paid off in the end, _____."

"ah, well. you know me, captain. i'm a big fan of the unconventional," you reply, shrugging.

"and i'm sure i'll have your report for this case on my desk first thing tomorrow."

"sure you will. namjoon will make sure of it. right, joon?"

"ah, well. you know me. i love a good written report hours after completing a raid," namjoon says, shrugging too.

"i feel like i should be concerned that you're being genuine about that, but it saves me a lot of time, so i'm gonna move on from that," yoongi says, expression hardly shifting. "clean yourselves up, and then you're dismissed for the day."

you and namjoon nod, watching as yoongi walks off, laughing quietly to yourselves when hoseok visibly tenses and straightens up when he spots the captain coming his way.

"hey," namjoon says, nudging your shoulder. "wanna come back to my place, order some takeout and just hang out? i think we deserve a chill night."

"sounds perfect," you say.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"behold! one of the greatest movies of all time!"

you look up from your chinese takeout, chopsticks halfway to your lips, at the screen of namjoon's tv.

"you're kidding, right?" you say, eating a mouthful of noodles.

"this is a classic," namjoon says, sitting down on the sofa next to you, reaching for his container of sweet and sour pork.

"we just took down the second biggest drug cartel in the city -- maybe the country -- and you wanna celebrate that by watching 'shrek'? sounds bad."

"it's never a bad time to watch 'shrek'! it's fun for the whole family, has an original plotline, and ends with an iconic musical number."

"namjoon, as your partner, i feel like i have a responsibility to tell you when you're being weird, so i'm gonna go ahead and say it: you're being really fuckin' weird," you say, sighing and chuckling as you shake your head, watching the opening scene fade in from black.

"i would watch this in our car if i could. or at my desk. maybe i'll watch this again tomorrow morning when i write up our report," he says, turning up the volume.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"you're literally missing the best part right now," namjoon says quietly. he doesn't look away from the screen, watching animated robin hood swing from branch to branch as he sings, eyes wide, the corners of his lips slightly raised in a small smile. "'monsieur hood'! hah. so good."

he mouths along to the dialogue, completely engrossed in the movie; until, that is, he feels a weight on his arm all of a sudden.

namjoon turns and looks down to see you leaning up against him, eyes shut, lips slightly parted, soft, equal breaths clearing showing you're asleep.

"really?" he scoffs quietly. "you're gonna fall asleep in the middle of 'shrek'? how disrespectful..."

his words trail off, because the longer he looks at you, the more he realises that maybe there's more to you than being his hot-headed partner, who drinks a minimum of three large coffees a day, and smokes a couple cigarettes at every lunch break. it's strange to see you so... calm, so relaxed and peaceful.

his eyes fall to the small bandaid stuck above your eyebrow from where a piece of glass had cut you earlier, confused as to why he suddenly feels so worried about how the scar will heal, or if the raid you both pulled off tonight might somehow come back to haunt you in the future. namjoon feels a small flutter in his chest at the thought that maybe you'll have trouble sleeping at night because of this case -- or any of your other cases later on -- and maybe, just maybe, he should do a better job at looking out for you, the way you seem to do for him all the time without him realising.

"mmm... do you know the muffin man?" you suddenly mutter in your sleep, turning to hide your face in his arm. "'cause i do, you son of a bitch."

it takes every ounce of willpower for namjoon not to laugh.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Strangers (Pt.4)

-------------------------

Virgil was absolutely terrified of being left alone, an empty house felt almost like a death sentence for him. But he endured it out of the simple fact that he was either allergic to or afraid of most animals.

He felt guilty sometimes, about not working, felt as if he were placing all the responsibility on Romulus while having little to none of his own.

Of course Romulus didnt seem to care, but after last night, Virgil was all to nervous about his husband being so eager to return to work.

And to add on to Virgil's fear of a lonely household, it seemed almost as if he wasnt quite alone anymore.

He couldve sworn the curtains moved when they werent supposed to, couldve almost guaranteed that something had brushed them just so.

But everytime he looked, they seemed perfectly in place, not a single misplaced shadow or cloth.

So Virgil had just resigned himself to the fact that he was merely a large dog with separation anxiety and everything would be fixed as soon as Romulus got home.

Which was, as Virgil's luck preceded him, five hours later than it should have been.

"Romulus! What took you so long? Are you hurt? Why didnt you call? I've been worried sick! You couldve-" Virgil was cut off by the feeling of Romulus' lips on his, he sunk into it like a desperate man clinging to a lifeboat.

"I'm alright songbird, I merely went to visit the carnival with some inquires about the necklaces," said Romulus as he broke the kiss.

"And what did they say?" Replied Virgil, tilting his head.

"They said theres no refunds and nothing to worry about as its impossible to get cursed objects through security," Romulus answered.

Virgil stared at him for a few moments.

"I- suppose that is an answer-" Virgil said finally, rubbing his arm.

"Is something wrong songbird? Or have you just missed me so?~" Romulus said, a slight purr to his voice.

"Just missed you. . ." Virgil said quietly.

"Well I'll only be a few moments, I need to make you something, you like dreadfully hungry my sweet somgbird," said Romulus, rushing off to the kitchen, and once again leaving Virgil alone in the living room.

Virgil let out a resigned sigh and returned to the couch, picking at the loose strings on his sweater until Romulus had returned with a glass of something Virgil couldnt see.

"What's that?" Virgil asked, trying to get a better look. Romulus brought the cup away from him.

"Something new for you to try, now close your eyes," Romulus said, Virgil did as told, and was met with the most disgusting taste he was sure he'd ever encountered.

"Augh- what is that?-" Virgil said with a gag.

"My new method of tricking you into actually taking your meds," said Romulus.

"Well its disgusting! I think your plane backfired!" Virgil said, still not bothering to open his eyes.

"Just give it a moment, the taste doesnt last to long," said Romulus, Virgil felt arms around his waist and felt himself pulled backwards against Romulus' chest. Sure enough, the bitter taste soon dissipated into a more sweet one.

"Better?" Romulus said, burying his head in the crook of Virgil's neck.

"Much," Virgil answered, smiling.

"Are you going to open your eyes little songbird or am I to assume theyve been glued shut?" Said Romulus, something in hi voice sounded a little to hopeful. But when Virgil opened his eyes he looked perfectly normal, no odd expressions in sight.

"There they are, absolutely perfect," Romulus said, smiling. Virgil blushed slightly and made an attempt to hide his face, only for Ronulus to grab his wrists and pull his hands away.

"Dont hide them, itd be a shame for something so nice to look at to be hidden with such shame," he said, pressing another kiss to Virgil's forehead.

"You are such a cheesy little flirt arent you," Virgil responded, giggling.

"I dont quite see the problem," Romulus chuckled.

They sat in silence for a while before Virgil finally spoke up again.

"I think the house might be haunted," Virgil winced as the hand Romulus had been using to run through his hair suddenly made a sharp tug.

"Sorry songbird- you caught me off guard, but what makes you think that?" Romulus gave Virgil yet another soft kiss, this one on the back of his neck.

"It just doesnt feel- quite as empty as usual- and it feels like things move when they shouldnt be," Virgil said quietly.

"Perhaps the neighbors cats have decided to move house," Romulus said with a laugh.

"Dont mock me. . ." Virgil said quietly.

"Oh I didnt mean to upset you songbird, is it making you feel unsafe?" Romulus said softly.

"Not right now I suppose. . ." Virgil responded.

"Well if it does I'll investigate further, in the mean time I think it's best for you to get some rest," said Romulus. Virgil merely nodded and began to drift off.

It was fairly difficult to stay asleep, though. Virgil's dreams were once again plagued with axes and murder and betrayal, and he couldve sworn he'd seen Romulus there somewhere, only he looked different, and he was with a girl.

This girl ended up being a figure that showed up very often in his dream that night. With long black hair and equally dark lips. Her first appearance seemed to take place at a tavern, where she sang to a number of people.

The scenes then cut to the girl sitting backstage with a number of men, only one of which she seemed focused on, a man with eyes of charcoal and hair of almost rust-colored quality.

The scene then shifted to that of a grand palace, only it seemed more like a dungeon, the girl was crying, begging for freedom.

I'm sorry my songbird, I cannot give you what you wish, you must be my queen, or you must face consequences

Virgil woke up cold and shaking, holding his arms and feeling on the verge of tears.

He didnt sleep the rest of that night.

If he had his way, he wouldnt have to see those same lilac eyes that revealed themselves in mirrors, ever again at night.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@thefivecalls

@willowaudreykeyes

@pricklyfish777

@the-sad-strawberry

@itsnithbabey

@private-snippers

@0exterc0

@rich-flower-17

@theonetruebeepboop

@mycatshuman

@teamplutoforlife

@melodiread

@meowthefluffy

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

@lovelivingmydreams

@that-peach-anon

@lazyboneslover

@baka-monarch

@coffeeoverdosedshipper

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[spidermanifested]

rough and definitely not comprehensive list of AUs Where Bido Survives And Has Nice Things ive thought of. yes i think about this too much. no i will not stop

bido is not around the meat shop when the soldiers are there and does not go looking for greed in central, stays around the vicinity of the nest and greed somehow still gets his memories back and goes to dublith and they reunite with no stabbing

follows greed to the soupening and tries to rescue him and ends up also being soupened, resulting in his soul becoming part of greeds philosophers stone and popping back up later on

He Just Simply Survives Being Stabbed and hangs out in the sewers and becomes the king of the giant chimeras guarding the place and they pop out of the ground and wreck father when hes about to try absorbing greed during the final fight

He Just Simply Survives Being Stabbed and follows ling to the house where he meets up with ed and darius and heinkel. and ed heals him with greeds philosophers stone and everything is fine and normal though there is emotional turmoil and such

He Just Simply Survives Being Stabbed.....and greed Notices This! he is holding him and screaming and whatever and ling is like hang on stop screaming you absolute moron hes still breathing. and greed is like oh shit. oh fuck. what do we do. and lings like we are going to need to be a little bit smart about this so please shut up and do what i tell you. so he takes him to father and is like.... hey pops i was chasing this chimera for fun and i was a little too rough with it but i dont want it to die can you fix it (technically none of this is a lie). father is kind of suspicious (why is there a HUMAN chimera in the tunnels???) but hes out of the loop enough that he didnt know about greeds gang of furries and is like okay fine whatever i dont want him to rebel again heres your fucked up lizard thing. and bido once being healed just runs away full tilt and greed is like. ......well thanks dad! (shit shit shit) and goes after him and when he catches up to him bidos just in a cranny sobbing and theres Emotional Turmoil! And Such! but they come to an understanding and bust out of the tunnels and eventually meet up with some group of main characters or another

he does Not just simply survive being stabbed BUT his blood going all over greed does some kind of alchemy thing and his soul goes in the philosophers stone and he is just in there now and there is, once again, emotional turmoil and such. this is the one im trying to write right now but probably will not finish

father reforms greed in his normal body instead of putting him in ling so bido recognizes him instantly and the conversation goes differently and greed basically goes maybe i dont remember this guy but he says hes mine so im keeping him and bido gradually convinces him to ditch the rest of the homunculi by Dropping Hints that they Suck while greed slowly gets his memories back

bido gets caught by that random evil guy talking to olivier in the mannequin room and bluffs his way into making him think he works for father and by a mixture of putting pieces together and getting REALLY lucky ends up convincing the guy to set up a meeting with greed in private without telling wrath (because the information is “from higher up than that and is for greeds ears only”). so again the conversation goes differently/with less murder because its under the pretenses of a “meeting with an informant” though bido still tells greed basically the whole truth once theyre alone. and while greeds reeling from all this wrath comes in because he found out after all and greed has to basically choose in that split second whether to let bido get killed or protect him and in doing so betray the homunculi. three guesses what he picks

greed also escapes from the raid on the nest and he and bido go on the run and team up with scars party and they are all friends and they work together :^)

the raid on the nest just does not happen and the whole gang is happy and alive and nothing bad ever happens to them and they are a big furry found family who all love and care for each other so very much

bido go back in time and warn everybody!!!!!!!! and everyone is okay because he did that!!!!! how did he do that? i dont know but people write things like this sometimes so bido can do it too

everything happens as normal but there are many tearful reunions in the afterlife and everyone gets to just hang out and relax and not worry and have SO much alcohol. as much as they want. forever

greed human transmutations bido back to life and it works because neither of them are human. checkmate truth

ghosts are REAL and bido is a GHOST and he HAUNTS GREED (in a nice and not mean way) and greed does not realize this until after getting somehow brought back to life post canon and hes walking around and some person with the ability to see ghosts is like hey you uh. you got a ghost on you there. and they figure out how to communicate and bido is able to tell greed he forgives him and he is happy hes found new friends

bido uses his powers and abilities to destroy king bradley on sight and goes and tells father and the rest of the homunculi to simply stop being evil and they listen to him. then he makes out with greed for 3 hours

actually all of these have to end with greed being in his own body (and bido being in HIS own body if he didnt have one over the course of the au) and then them making out for 3 hours i dont care how. it can happen. make it happen. i want the papers on my desk by six o clock sharp

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

@lyhoradka​ tagged me in that post about five bits of text from written media that are burned into your brain and, kindly, gave me a theme of places. i am going to annotate this because i am a bitch

1. holy places are dark places. the wisdom that we get in them is not thin and clear like water but thick and dark like blood. - cs lewis, till we have faces

im almost certain ive misremembered this one but its better this way. clive what the devil fuck were you trying to say with till we have faces. burn it down and start over with this. i have a sidenote about hope faith and love but thats beyond the scope of this discussion

2. night falls. the workers put down their tools and point to the sky. “there is the blueprint,” they say.  invisible cities, italo calvino

again idr if its sky or stars. this is the description of thecla from invisible cities, kindly appointed to me by my good friend venus. this is not the strongest one but it is a strong one and its for Me and i remember it. inna thought i was going to make this whole post about haunted houses and this one is completely the opposite; i’ll consider it aspirational

3. walk to the east till you can walk no more. swim east until you pass the sunrise; swim east until you pass the stars; swim east until you come to the edge of the sky. there you will find yourself on the shores of a different land. even in that place, they shall know your name, and mine. - adel, kc danine/unlikely flowerings, jenna moran

sorry i cheated on this one bc i looked up the attribution and found my memory was wrong. but i cut it up to match what i thought. this one is actually a combo with

3a. the sea will be the color night behind glass. then, slowly, it becomes green: first rain-wet slate, then darkest jade. green as fresh emeralds. green as remembered rivers - the sun beneath the sea, sunless seas

again ive hashed the first part of that but green as remembered rivers lives in my head rent free. these two live under the heading “an exile in the uttermost east”

4. THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR. NO HIGHLY VALUED DEED IS REMEMBERED HERE. NOTHING OF VALUE IS STORED HERE. 

the warning continues of course but the basis is here. the idea that we cannot produce something so horrifying and terrifying that it does not also fascinate us, as you might guess, fascinates me. nightmare and obsession are such close brothers

5. a woman drew her hair out tight/and fiddled in the violet light/and upside down in air were towers/tolling reminiscent bells that kept the hours/and voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhausted wells.

in my head sean bean reads these lines in his civ vi voice. why did so much weird fiction pattern weird bits of worldbuilding after this bit. not that i am immune. voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhauuusted wells

BONUS CONTENT

so many things i wanted to add that werent written or that i didnt have memorized perfectly enough

1i. the, like, entire first half of to tundra by los camp, which i will reproduce below

meet me at st nicholas among the oaks behind the church that sway like pigtailed girls as summer wind whistles around your bare-shin knees and the forsythia leaves in the shade lay with me tickled by the feather reeds thats where the trees grow old under the ivys hold as you in my two arms equally safe from harm and in a hazy daydream our bodies married the stream and we broke down into pebbles and silt the water ran from the fields until the oceans we filled and found the seabed the comfiest quilt

there was more life in the weeds than in the few hundred seats that rose from transept to chancel to nave [...]

2i. prim leaves her father’s house. i won’t reproduce the whole story here but there’s a girl prim and her father is the god hansa and they live in a house of iron nails and one day her dad is killed and she has to go bury him and takes nothing but his corpse and a single iron nail. and she traipses all across creation and the void looking for somewhere to bury him but every time she tries his corpse shouts at her for being shit at it. and eventually she collapses, and drops the nail and it springs right up into the same exact house, and she imagines crawling in there with her fathers corpse to die next to him and freaks out and then

A pale face came before her and she was abruptly struck from her despair as though by a great hammer. A beautiful stranger had appeared, mild and tall, of milky flesh, spare in figure, but radiant in voice and visage. "I know you," said the stranger in a small voice, "you are Prim."

"I was Hansa's orphan, the slave, Prim," croaked Prim in response, "and now I am nobody, just a small dirty thing in great emptiness and here I will die."

"No," said the stranger, and the clarity and firmness of her voice and smile send a shock through Prim, "you are Prim, and Prim only, and Prim you shall be." And Prim there realized her tears had made a great pool and she was greeting her own reflection. And she fell into that murky pool and straight away it turned clear as crystal and Prim vomited forth a great black knot from very deep within her, and her body was scoured and lashed by the icy waters of that pool, and great draughts of poisonous filth and despondency were drawn in rushing gasps from her wounds, and her skin was sealed and her soiled trappings were purged and the caked illness and death was ripped away and she rose from that pool fresh and humming. Her back straightened and she scarcely thought on her father's corpse or the faintest echo of that iron house.  That is how Prim left her father's house.

so basically abaddon scooped all of tsiy and every other haunted house writer in like five thousand words

3i. berenike

From my words you will have reached the conclusion that the real Berenice is a temporal succession of different cities, alternately just and unjust. But what I wanted to warn you about is something else: all the future Berenices are already present in this instant, wrapped one within the other, confined, crammed, inextricable.

4i. a ghost does not come to stand in the dark doorway of your room because it is an 18th century orphan girl named annie. a ghost comes to stand in the doorway of your room because the doorway is where things come to stand. - i am in eskew, david ward

the formats all fucked up now huh. this has influenced my thoughts on both psychogeo and necromancy. what a fucking guy. theres also the pope lick bridge one but

5i. i hope you will forgive me for including a bit from tsiy

I opened my eyes. I was kneeling at the base of a tree, at the top of a grassy hill, under starry night. Dad was standing a little ways back, head craned back to look at the tree. "What is this place to you?" he asked, looking around. The island came to an abrupt stop at the edges; it wasn't a floating island in space or anything, there just.....wasn't anything beyond the edge of it. Like looking past the edge of your own eyesight -- not the blackness of eyelids, but the colorless place beyond.

"I'll die here someday," I said, and meant it.

i really need to work on getting places and haunted places into the new draft. im slacking. but im also not allowed to go back and change anything rn or ill just never get anywhere

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home

Bakugo X Reader 

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo. But will trouble follow?

Warnings * This one is a little heavier than stuff I have written in the past. Kidnapping and mentions of abuse. 

Words: 3676

*****************************************************************************************************

This was the third night in a row he had woken up in a cold sweat. This had been happening periodically for months but it had been happening more frequently lately. It was the same dream over and over again. It would always start as a normal dream but before he knew it, there was a girl maybe a year or two younger than he was. She was always dressed in the same shitty dress. Her hair wild and tangled. But  nothing was more haunting than her eyes. They were so sad and scared. She was always reaching out to him, her lips moving but no noise coming out. He desperately wanted to know what she was saying, but he never got the chance. He’d always wake up panting and angry. 

It didn't matter what time it was he always got up after that and went for a run. There was no going back to sleep after that. Those eyes were burned into his brain. Every time he closed his eyes he could see that scared look, and it crushed him. 

He didn't even know this girl. At least he didn’t think he did. He read somewhere that your brain can’t invent new people so all the people in your dreams where people you had seen before. 

Was she someone he had saved in the past. No he would have remembered her, he could tell she was pretty even if she was underfed and covered in dirt. Was she someone he saw in a movie or on TV? That had to be it. The only problem was he had been so busy with hero work he hadn't had the time to relax and watch anything in months. He was in his first year as a Pro Hero and he was working relentlessly to make sure everyone knew his name. 

He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a look at the clock. 4 am. Fuck he had only been asleep for a little over two hours. He rubbed his temples. He had to report to work in six hours. Maybe he should just go in early. If he’s going to be awake he might as well get paid for it. 

He sluggishly got dressed and drained the rest of his coffee. Thank god today was supposed to be a short day anyways. He didn't know if he could make it through another 24 hour shift. 

The ding of the elevator sounded louder than usual, and in his exhausted grumpy state he took it very personally. As if the elevator knew he was tired and wanted to taunt him. 

He walked over to his desk and threw his bag that held his costume onto it before slumping into his chair. 

“Wow. dont take this wrong way. But you kind of look like shit.” He looked over to the cheery as hell red head that he usually would consider his best friend, “How the hell am I not supposed to take that the wrong way?”

Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean you just look tired is all. Speaking of which shouldn't you be asleep right now? Your shift doesn't start until 10. I know you’re punctual and all but four hours early seems a bit extreme.” 

He leaned back in his chair attempting to rub the exhaustion from his eyes, “I’m fine. I have paperwork to catch up on before my shift starts anyways.” 

Kirishima gave him a concerned look, “You hate paperwork man. What’s really going on?”

He debated for a few seconds if he should say anything, but then decided it might help to actually to talk about it with someone. “I’ve been having these weird dreams... Theres always this girl-”

“A girl! ooooh is she pretty?” 

He gave the red head an annoyed look. 

“Oh right not important. Continue. Sorry.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yes she is pretty. Anyways. She keeps popping into my dreams. It looks like she needs help but I can never hear her. She’s dirty and way too skinny and I dont know.. Its just messing with my head.” 

Kirishima seemed to ponder on that for a bit, “Do you recognize the girl? Like is she someone you know?” 

Bakugo sighed, “No, at least I dont think I do.” 

Kirishima nodded, “What is she doing in these dreams?” 

“I dont know. I guess she’s reaching out to me. At least that’s what it looks like.” 

Kirishima brought his hand up tp his chin as if he was Sherlock Holmes solving a case, “Why dont you take her hand then? If she’s reaching out to you, it must mean she wants you to right?” 

Bakugo threw his hands up in defeat, “I dont fucking know! Even if I wanted to it’s not like I have complete control over my dreams. I’m asleep for fucks sake.” 

Kirishima rolled his eyes, “Alright grumpy gills. I think you need a nap. And this time if any girls happen to stroll through your dreams at least try to hold their hand and see where that gets you. Alright? I’ll handle your paperwork and come wake you up when it’s time for your shift.” 

He wanted to argue but even after 3 cups of coffee he was utterly exhausted. He couldn't work like this. Kirishima was right. He needed a nap. 

He curled up on one of the couches in the break room and fell asleep almost instantly. His dreams started out normal enough. Nothing odd in any way and then out of no where. There she was. Reaching out to him. Her eyes terrified, a silent scream on her lips. 

He was supposed to do something. What was it? Oh yeah. He slowly reached his hand out to hers. It seemed to go so slowly as if he was moving through molasses. His muscles hurt from the effort of forcing his arm up to meet hers. 

Finally his fingers brushed against hers... and he heard it. 

Her voice rang out loud and clear. “Help me Ground Zero! Please!” 

He gripped her hand tighter, “Who are you? What do you want?” 

The girl started to cry, “No time for that now. They’re onto me! Where are you?”

Bakugo flinched, “I’m at work at All Mights new agency.” 

She nodded her head in understanding and for the first time ever she left before he woke up.

Next thing he knew he was being shook awake, “Come on man time to get up! Tell your dream girl you’ll call her back later.” 

He shot straight up, “I did it...”

“That’s great..... what did you do?” 

Bakugo stood up his body coursing with adrenaline, “I touched her hand... and I heard her! She asked me for help and asked me where I was.” 

Kirishima looked at him like he had lost it, “Alright crazy pants enough of that. You know its a dream right? As in it’s not real. This is real, we are real, and you’re really about to be late if you dont hurry up and get changed.” 

Bakugo spent the rest of his shift on high alert. He looked around every corner to see if you were there. You were real. He doesn't now how, but he knows that to be true. He knew he couldn't say that out loud without sounding like a escaped mental patient but his heart kept telling him you needed him. 

Your voice played on an endless loop through his head. It drowned out everything else including Kirishima's annoying consistent ramble. 

The day flew by faster than usual which Bakugo was extremely grateful for. He was practically running out the door with Kirishima yelling after him about meeting up for drinks later. Yeah that wasn’t happening. 

He had taken all of three steps out of the building when he was being tackled. Well tackled wasnt exactly the right word, because that would imply that he fell, which he did not. Instead he lost his balance for a second before turning to see the source. 

It was her. It was you. 

“Shit shit shit. You’re real. I knew it! What are you doing here? Who are you?” 

You looked up at him with desperate eyes, “Get me out of here. They’re after me! I promise I’ll tell you everything just please get me somewhere safe.” 

He looked around to see if anyone was watching, but no one was around. He grabbed your hand and started walking towards his apartment, “I only live a few bocks from here. Think you can make it that far?” 

You nodded. If only he knew how far you had already come to find him. 

Soon enough you were being dragged through the door to his apartment. He lead you to the kitchen table and immediately began to pace back and forth in front of you. He suddenly stopped and looked at you, his eyes boring into yours. “Alright are you going to tell me who the fuck you are and what the fuck is going on?” 

You flinched a bit at his angry voice but quickly reminded yourself that he was good, he wouldnt hurt you. You composed yourself the best you could under the circumstances, “My name is Y/n. I was kidnapped as a child by a group of villains. They have been using my quirk to their advantage for years. I finally managed to get out and come find you.” 

He pulled a chair up so he could sit and face you, “Okay but why me? Out of all the people in the world why me? How were you in my head?” 

You looked down into your lap where your fingers were gripping the hem of your dirty dress, “My quirk allows me to enter people dreams. I'm a dream walker. But it cant be just anyone. I have to have seen their face and I have to know their name. I was a child when they took me. I didn't know any better. I thought they were my family. It wasnt until I got older that I realized how wrong what they were doing was. They would have me enter peoples dreams to get them to confess things, gain information, plant ideas... One day I fought back and tried to reach out for help. The only problem was I didn't know anyone... everyone I knew was a villain. All the people that I had visited in dreams before wouldn't listen to me. And why should they. I betrayed them. I entered their dreams, and stole their private information. Even if they wanted to help, I had no idea where I was... there was no way for them to find me.” 

He reached out and took your hand in his, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.... but you still haven't answered my question... why me?” 

He may be a bit insensitive but he still had no idea who you were and he didn't want to run the risk of this being some weird twisted trap. 

You wiped a tear from your dirt stained cheeks. “One night I snuck out of my room t- to try and get something to eat.... and the news was on, on the tv in the kitchen. It was an interview with you. I saw your face and I heard the name Ground Zero.  That’s all I got before I was being dragged back to my room and was pumped full of so many drugs so I couldnt use my quirk.” 

You were shaking now, “I dont know why and I cant explain it. But I felt a weird connection with you. Every day I repeated your name over and over again through my drugged state so I wouldn't forget it. I kept telling myself you were going to save me. Finally I was able to push through the drugged haze to reach out to you. To walk into your dream.”

Bakugo’s head was spinning, “Is that why I couldnt hear you? Because you were drugged?” 

You shook your head, “No, I have to have permission to truly be in someones head, you had to touch me, to acknowledge me before I can talk to you.” 

He took a deep breath, “Well I’m sorry I didn't do it sooner.... So how did you get here.” 

You started messing with the hem or your dress again, “They decided to move me to a different location. Said I was being too difficult and needed to be taught a lesson. I jumped out of the back of a moving van. I didn't know where I was going but I found my way to the city and asked the first person I saw for directions.” 

Bakugo was leaning towards you now, completely invested in the story, “Why didn't you go to the police?”

You sighed, “I dont know who to trust. They have moles everywhere. I cant risk showing up on a police report. They’d find me.” 

He nodded for a few moments thinking it over. “Ok.... well... I have a spare bedroom you are more than welcome to use. It looks like you need some food and it smells like you need a shower. The bathroom is down the hall, do you like spicy food?”

Your eyes widened, “Does that mean you’ll let me stay?”

He huffed, “Well I’m not going to fucking kick you out to rough it on the streets! Now do you like spicy food or not?” 

You shrugged as you tried to hold back the relieved tears that threatened to spill out, “I dont know. I’ve never had spicy food. I was only ever fed white rice. Sometimes if I did a good job they would add chicken.” 

He gave you a sad look, “Alright so I’ll go easy with the seasoning. Take your time, relax and I’ll get you some clean clothes.” 

You nodded as you walked carefully over to the bathroom he had pointed out earlier. You were almost too scared to touch anything. You didn't want to do anything that would make him change his mind. 

The shower felt so good. You couldnt remember the last time you had, had a shower. It had to have been during what you called your cooperative phase. They were so nice to you then. Before you realized they were all monsters. You had a nice soft bed, your own bathroom, and so many books to read. When you fought back everything had changed. 

You could see all the mud and dried blood swirling around before it went down the drain. You decided then and there that this was goodbye to your old life. If you could even call it a life. It was all going down the drain as well and you were never going back.

When you finally stepped out of the shower there was a warm looking hoodie as well a a pair of shorts and boxers sitting on the bathroom counter. The hoodie hung down to your knees and you had never felt so warm and fuzzy. You didn't know it was possible for an article of clothing to feel... safe. 

You walked out into the hallway and could hear hushed voices, you panicked. Had they already found you? 

“Dude I heard the shower running and you’re cooking... you definitely have a girl over! Who is it?”

“Will you shut up! She’ll hear you!”

“You DO have a girl over!” 

“Will you just fucking leave already? I promise I’ll tell you about it later. Tell the director I won't be able to make it work for the next few days. I’m uh.. sick.” 

“Sick huh?”

“Yeah I’m sick... sick of your shit, now leave!” 

You couldnt help it you giggled. It sounded so weird but it was undeniably a giggle. You felt a weight start to slowly lift from your shoulders. 

You waited until you heard the door shut before leaving the safety of the hallway and joining Ground Zero at the diner table. Your mouth started to water and you stomach rumbled, it all looked so good. You looked over to him, unsure if it would be rude to just dig in. 

He froze with a spoon midway to his mouth, “What? Are you waiting for permission or something? Fuck that just eat.” 

Your eyes lit up as you started to drain your bowl or soup first, immediately followed by mountain of noodles. It all tasted so good, “Thank you so much Ground Zero. This is delicious. You are an amazing cook.” 

You could see him blush a bit before shoving another bite into his mouth numbing a quick, “It’s Bakugo.”

You both sat in an awkward silence, eating until you were both fat and happy. When you finally decided you were done you leaned back into you seat. “That had to be the best meal I’ve ever had.”

Bakugo stood up and started collecting the dishes, “Dont take this the wrong way but it’s not like your pallet was all that expanded before.” He could see hurt flash over your features briefly before you schooled them back to neutral. He tried to salvage this conversation, “But dont worry I’ll try to stay away from cooking rice. I have a feeling you've had enough of that.”

You smiled as you stood up to help, “Here you cooked, the least I could do is clean up.” 

He took the plate that was in your hand, “Maybe next time... You’ve had a shower, you’ve been fed, now you just need to get a good nights sleep.” He gestured over to the hallway. “The bedroom at the end of the hall is mine. The one thats closest to us right now it the guest bedroom and the they're connected by the bathroom. I’ve been told I snore so I will apologize in advance for that. Go ahead and make yourself at home. There’s a tv and everything.” When you didn't move he gave you a light hearted nudge in the direction of the bedroom. “Honestly dont worry about it. I got it from here. Go get some sleep.” 

You weren't used to someone taking care of you and it made you feel suspicious. This was too good to be true. But you were also too tired to dwell too much. For the first time in a long time you were clean, full, and you actually have a bed to sleep in. Besides Ground Zero was a hero. Theres no way he’d do something to hurt you.... right? 

You tip toed over to your new room and marveled at how comfortable the bed looked. You pulled your pants off, opting for just the hoodie and boxers. Burrowing into the covers with your pile of comfy pillows beneath you, you practically hummed in comfort. You rolled over and saw Bakugo through the bathroom. He was also getting ready for bed in the dim light of his bedside lamp. He gave you a soft smile before closing his door. 

You weren't necessarily a fan of closed doors. You cant lock a door that isn't closed after all. But you felt safe none the less. You knew he was just in the other room. So you found yourself drifting off. 

You were back in your old room. Nothing but a bucket and a stained pillow so thin it may as well have just been a pillow case. You could smell the contents of the bucket in the corner and it made you want to puke. It was freezing but all you had for warmth was the thin tattered dress you wore. Your body hurt from how hard you were shivering. The pain in your stomach the worst of all. They hadn't fed you in a few days. Saying only good girls deserve food. You huddled further into yourself as you heard the deadbolt to what may as well have been your cell click. Someone was coming in. What do they want? The big guy walked in. The one with the crooked nose. “Time to take your medicine.” You thrashed around and tried to resist but he just held you down, laughing that sickly laugh that would haunt you forever. 

“NO!” 

You shot up in bed. Your face was soaked with tears. You felt a strong grip on you shoulder. You swung into the darkness and felt your fist connect with something solid. 

“Oi! relax its just me. You were having a nightmare. Thought I’d come wake you up.” 

You rubbed your eyes, “I’m so sorry I didn't mean to wake you.” 

He turned on the lamp on your nightstand, “It’s okay, it’s not like I have to work tomorrow anyways....” He was lost. He wanted to comfort you but he didn't want to crowd you. He also just met you today and shouldn't have such a strong urge to wrap his arms around you. But he does and he doesn't know how he feels about it. “So... do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, “I’d rather not. I just want to forget all about it...”

Bakugo nodded, “Thats fair... well if you need anything I’ll be right through there.” He pointed through the doors to his room. 

You bit your lip as you mustered up your courage, “Do you think you could... I mean you totally dont have to... but if its okay with you... could you... possibly stay with me until I fall asleep?” 

He quirked an eyebrow at you, “Uh... sure. I guess. That’s fine.”

You quickly snuggled back into your side of the bed and he got comfortable on his. He took a look at your sleeping face and felt his heart start to ache. You hadn't needed to tell him about your nightmare because you had already shown it to him. You had subconsciously pulled him into your dream and he had a front row seat to the horrors of your past. He reached out and brushed a stray hair away from your sleeping face. He’ll be damed if anyone tried to hurt you again. 

[felicityfiction]

i listened to taylor swift and wanted to write a thing. woosang from ateez because their friendship is so precious!! this was written in like an hour. the grammar is bad and the tenses are alll over the place and theres nothing even resembling STRUCTURE but it’s 3am and i needed catharsis!

Wooyoung realises. Maybe a little bit too late.

the classic childhood best friends trope that i love because i think that the best kind of love develops slowly, and not all at once.

“The last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind”

Wooyoung glared at his phone, desperately wringing his hands together. pick up, pick up. fuck

the call went to voicemail. wooyoung dropped his face into his hands, pressing his palms into his eyes as hard as he could, breathing turning ragged. where are you where are you come back

he knew he had no right to demand anything at this point. this was his fault. but an eerily silent group chat sent chills down the back of his spine and left regret clawing at the back of his throat. i didn’t mean it.

he waited for a moment, then picked up his phone from the table. he scrolled down to his latest chat, rereading the messages that had already imprinted themselves onto the back of his eyelids, haunting him, taunting him.

me: god, san, please. just tell me where he is, if he’s alright.

san: it’s not my place to say anything. i can’t speak for him.

me: that’s bullshit. he’s avoiding me, not you. not all of you.

san: not the point

me: none of you are on my side.

san: how can we be? did you hear yourself last night, woo?

me: i get it i fucking get it. i was an asshole. i’m trying to make it right

san: i don’t know that you can.

the scene blazed across wooyoung’s memory, hot and painful. it was all clenched fists, parted lips and wide eyes full of-

of what, he didn’t even know. a mix of sadness, disappointment and regret.

the worst part was the lack of anger. his best friend had a temper shorter than anyone else he had ever met, but anger was easy. anger could be dispelled with time, breathing, and wooyoung’s self proclaimed irresistible charm.

wooyoung got scared when he saw emotions he didn’t recognise, not even after 10 years of friendship.

and because wooyoung was a coward, he pretended that he couldn’t see, and let his best friend walk out his front door to god knows where. that was a week ago. and in the span of that week, wooyoung spiralled. he was grasping at straws, trying to fix the situation.

nothing worked. his best friend had wiped himself off social media and gone radio silent on every messaging app. the number that he memorised like the back of his hand went straight to voicemail, every single time. the worst part was his house. it felt cold and barren, without the familiar voice trailing from the living room when wooyoung woke up.

wooyoung was missing something that he didn’t know he had.

—

“you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye”

love.

wooyoung believed in love just as much as the next person. he was a clingy extrovert who thrived off attention. he had grown up with hugs and kisses from his mom, the occasional girlfriend, and hoards of his classmates in school that vied for his attention. jung wooyoung was the epitome of lovable.

jung wooyoung didn’t know how to love.

rather, he didn’t understand that love came in different forms. love could come from the most withdrawn, silent individual. you just needed to know where to look, beyond the physical affection and vocal admiration.

jung wooyoung couldn’t sense it.

not in the “tell me about your day” that always popped up when he ended dance practice at 8pm, exhausted and cranky but always ready to complain about every single thing that had ticked him off.

not in the magical cups of coffee that appeared on his school desk the day of exams, sometimes with a little post it note. “you got this”

not in the silent presence that was by his side watching him play video games with someone else. the presence that worked mutely in his kitchen, greeting wooyoung with a dinner that he never asked for, but was somehow always what he wanted. the presence that never uttered anything to ask for wooyoung’s attention, seemingly content with just being next to him.

jung wooyoung was a fool.

buried under his covers, he clamped his hands against his ears, pressing as hard as he could,as if he could drown out his own voice sounding in his mind.

are you out of your mind? he heard himself say, over and over again. this isn’t a good prank, man.

then silence. the silence that was always comfortable and reliable, suddenly turned suffocating and tense. it was as if a barrier had erected itself between him and the person he thought he knew like the back of his hand

again, those eyes. the eyes that conveyed everything his impassive face didn’t. shining with mirth when wooyoung lost a game, dripping with fondness when wooyoung danced on stage,blazing with irritation as he shoved wooyoung away from him if he was disturbing his studying.

blank, distant eyes. wooyoung felt his stomach drop, the same sensation that he felt

at that very moment, like he lost something very important that he couldn’t get back.

—

“so this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying i’m sorry for that night.”

wooyoung had had enough. all his friends wouldn’t give him a straight answer to a very simple where is he?

wooyoung was nothing if not stubborn. he was going to find him, and fix everything. he didn’t know how, but he was going to do it.

frankly, it was almost a miracle that they hadn’t seen each other in two weeks, not even by accident. it was like he was going out of his way to avoid the places in campus that he knew wooyoung was going to be at, as if he memorised wooyoung’s timetable and classes and oh

he memorised wooyoung’s timetable, classes and practices. wooyoung stilled, feet stopping beside an empty classroom as he stared blankly at the empty hallway in front of him. classes were starting, and wooyoung was supposed to be in his European History lecture, but he literally could not care less about world war 2 at this moment.

how had he never noticed?

he was always slouched against a locker when wooyoung ended a 6pm economics lecture, whining for food and sleep. always outside the dance practice room hidden in a far block on campus at 10pm on fridays and sundays, with a bottle of water and wooyoung’s favourite ice cream. he always knew when wooyoung’s exams were, and made it a point to appear after every paper, ready to take wooyoung out for chicken. as a celebration if he did well, as a consolation if wooyoung was ready to burst into tears.

always there,without fail. it was the perfect summary of their friendship for the past decade,really.

and wooyoung would be damned if he let that slip through his fingers.

walking with a flame of newfound determination, he wandered through the school until he arrived outside the science labs. as an Arts student, he was never here. perhaps because he was never the one waiting. never reciprocating.

but the large white doors of the biology labs seemed daunting to him, even as he came to a halt in front of one with a plaque reading “anatomy lab”.

anatomy practical, 5pm. block D, level 3.

that was what he found after searching up the timetable of the medical students in his year.

the clock ticked closer to 630pm, when the class would be released. wooyoung tried to use the remaining moments to compose himself. he wasn’t going to throw a tantrum, he was here to apologise. he couldn’t start with why the fuck have you not talked to me in two weeks you bastard.

he wasn’t the bastard. wooyoung was. he was prepared to start with hey, i’m sorry. can we please talk?

but then the doors swung open, and students in lab coats filed past him. some looked at him curiously, and some waved, asking about a party happening this weekend. wooyoung just nodded and smiled, chest tightening, body bracing, like he was ready to be slapped.

and a metaphorical slap had never hurt as much before.

black nike shoes screeched to a halt metres away from him. the same worn shoes that had a permanent place in the shoe rack in front of wooyoung’s door.

wooyoung was staring, and he forgot how to speak.

he couldn’t recognise the person with swollen eyes and messy hair standing in front of him. his best friend was always impeccably neat, something that wooyoung constantly teased him about.

now, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. maybe two weeks. he looked at wooyoung as if he was going to lunge forward and sock him in the stomach.he looked at wooyoung with fear.

his lips clamped shut, while wooyoung struggled to get out the words he practiced. “i-“

he ran. wooyoung could only watch as his best friend bolted past him, barely grazing his shoulder as he fled. it still felt like a slap to the face. wooyoung was rooted to the spot, his blood felt like lead, he couldn’t move-

“if you don’t go after him, i will personally destroy you.” seonghwa glared at him, taking the place of the boy that ran, but substantially closer to wooyoung. he poked a finger into wooyoung’s chest, sighing loudly.

“he refuses to leave his house except for class. he won’t talk to anyone. he won’t go for his drone flying club or whatever the fuck he participates in. he’s broken, wooyoung, and we can’t fix him.” only you can

“fix him. fix the both of you.”

—

“if we loved again, i swear i’d love you right.”

wooyoung stood outside apartment number 4B, and his heart ached at how familiar it was. he was always welcome, but now it felt as if it was an impenetrable fortress that would swallow him whole.

he had nothing. no food, which he always used to appease his best friend’s anger. because this wasn’t anger. no prepared acts of acting cute, because this wasn’t irritation. just his heart in his hands, ready to be bared and presented. perhaps as a gift, more likely as a sacrifice. it was a sacrifice he was willing to give up.

“i know you’re in there.”

nothing

“i didn’t come here to hurt you.”

quiet.

“please.”

all he could hear was the ringing in his ears.

wooyoung breathed in once, deep. “fine. it’s okay, i’ll talk from here. i’m just banking on the fact that you’ll hear me out. it doesn’t matter if you don’t respond.”

this was the hardest thing wooyoung had ever done.

“i’m sorry. i know that’s the most useless thing to say right now, but i have to. i’m sorry i acted that way after what you said. i was being a complete idiot, and a jerk. you know i am that way, but that doesn’t excuse it. i’m really, really sorry”

breath two

“i miss you. it’s honestly been hell, these two weeks. my apartment’s a mess. all i’ve been eating is instant food, and honestly i couldn’t give a shit about all the tests we have right now. it’s always silent in there. i can’t blame all the guys for ignoring me, i deserve it, but it’s just- it’s just hard. i got used to you always being there. and it’s like i can’t function when you’re not.”

breath three

“i know i’m being selfish. i’m starting to think that i’m inherently a bad person, because even now i’m still thinking about myself. seonghwa said you haven’t left your house, that you won’t do anything. i’m sorry. fuck, i really am. you shouldn’t do all that. you shouldn’t have to suffer, you didn’t do anything wrong. i’m the one that made the mistake. so please, come back. you don’t have to come back to me, but the guys. they’re worried. so am I, but i’m past the point of deserving anything from you.”

breath 4

“i couldn’t stop thinking about that night.” wooyoung dropped his gaze, even though the door remained resolutely shut

“i know you can’t either. fuck, i messed up. i didn’t mean any of that shit, i honestly don’t know why i said that. but i’ve been thinking about it. about you. i think about you a lot.”

here goes nothing

“you’re important to me. you’ve always been, since we were dumb kids fighting over a soccer ball in the school playground. and i think i just finally realised how, how much i started to rely on you. i need you. it’s like i can’t breathe without you, and i just realised because you were always there,and i didn’t know to miss you. fuck, i miss you. “

“i’m pathetic. i don’t know how to understand you like you understand me. i don’t know why you put up with me, i’d probably get tired of myself. but you do. and i-“

wooyoung struggled to get his bearings through the shaky breaths that come through his lips, eyes blurry. there’s so much he wants to say.

like how he finally understands the meaning behind every little action that he took for granted. how his eyes have finally opened to another way of communicating, of expressing care and concern.

i know. i know it’s your language, and i must have been fucking blind my whole life to miss it but please don’t stop talking to me i’m just starting to understand.

how he realises just how much his best friend means to him, right when he’s on the brink of losing him

“i get it now. you’ve always been too good for me. and i’m sorry it took this for me to see what was always in front of me”

wooyoung can be brave for once. wooyoung can be the one giving.

—

“and if the chain is on your door, i understand.”

three words. just three words.

“i love you.”

wooyoung shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in a bid to stop the hot tears. the door is still shut, and the silence is threatening to overwhelm him.

“i don’t expect you to accept that. i know i hurt you. but i had to come and say it. maybe this is me being selfish again.”

one last breath.

“but i swear on everything we’ve ever promised over the past 10 years. i mean it. yeosang, if you can hear me, i love you. i should’ve said it back that night, i don’t know why i didn’t, because now i look back and i think i must have loved you from the start.”

wooyoung blinked rapidly, and tilts his head upright to start at the block of mahogany in front of him.

“if you’re out of your mind, then i am too.” a wry smile found its way onto his lips as his mind replays a decade of laughter and memories, bitterly juxtaposed against the crippling loneliness and fear he feels right now. he’s going to walk away, and his best friend isn’t going to chase him.

“i’m gonna go now. i’m sorry, yeo. i won’t blame you for not believing me.”

—

but apparently jung wooyoung still doesn’t understand kang yeosang.

kang yeosang has never been able to push wooyoung away. not when they were 10, and definitely not when they’re 20.

someone grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt and yanked him back harshly. wooyoung stumbled, and his heart flipped in his chest. before he can comprehend anything, he’s being pinned against the mahogany door, but on the other side.

wooyoung loves yeosang’s eyes, because they burn with an intensity that is incomparable to anything else. wooyoung is still crying.

“if there’s one thing i hate about myself, it’s that i don’t know how to not love you, jung wooyoung.”

wooyoung thinks that he finally, finally, comprehends everything as yeosang crushes their bodies together in a semblance of a hug. but it’s tinged with desperation, and years of unspoken words and hidden actions. it’s the physical representation of please don’t leave me.

jung wooyoung is a fool. but he’s starting to learn.

lesson number 1: he’s in love with kang yeosang.