#theres a lot of things im genuinely upset about missing out on

[triforce-of-mischief]

hey why were all three of my siblings allowed to stay in soccer and travel out of state for tourneys and stuff and i couldn't do martial arts because it was "too expensive"

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[arson-09]

I dont talk much about minecraft youtuber drama here but god quackity is pissing me off with his shenanigans.

In case you missed it admins for quackitys minecraft server (specifically an admin named lea) came forth claiming that the admins were underpaid if paid, were working horrible hours, and generally treated like shit. This is of course paraphrasing but this is worker exploitation and disgusting.

Quackity then did a little stream saying he was “unaware” of anything wrong happening behind the scenes. Which is interesting considering this is his “passion project” and the studio is under his name and hes the one who hired everyone.

Then recently Lea (i apologize if im spelling her name wrong she is french if i recall) did an interview saying that quackity was basically lying, the ndas he had the admins signed were fake, and reiterated the horrible working conditions and the fact he knew everything.

Then today he streamed again saying he was stepping back because of the hate and threats we was receiving which of course is never okay but this is the first time he’s ever spoken on that subject (which is interesting as his twt fandom is known for being incredibly hateful and threatening people) and he was stepping back from the server. Again this is a simplified version, just hitting the major points of everything.

this is not accountability, this is him making someone else fix what hes done. He wont even openly admit to everything but his silence shows everything. What he has done to his workers is horrible and incredibly wrong but the majority of his fans dont care and are upset at dream stans of all people for “making him step back” (dream stans havent even been the main group doing this shit btw. they are just the group pointing out the hypocrisy the most as dream fans have received copious amounts of hate from qsmpers for the fact they like dream. Let it be clear that the allegations against dream have been proven false and as of me writing this post he has not done anything genuinely bad. like exploiting his workers)

Regardless of who you stan or hate, you have to realize that what quackity has done with his server and the admins is wrong and he should take accountability and discuss what hes done wrong. hes was/is a law student for heavens sake. This is only the tip of the iceberg of questionable things quackity has done (for example his merch company is extremely shady. there is very little information available about it online, people have trouble with shipping and receiving their orders, merch quality, and much more) and it saddens me that while the mcyt community preaches accountability and recognizing when a cc has done wrong, they fail to do it 99% of the time. I dont hate quackity, and i dont want him to get doxxed and receive death threats, but i need him to be transparent. To admit to his mistakes and be honest and actually change shit. Because right now him stepping back isnt fixing anything, its not helping the people who have been hurt by his actions. Im also really sad that the qsmp has been riddled with these mistakes as theres so much potential with it. It was the first bilingual minecraft server then multilingual. it united so many different parts of the minecraft community but it is not stable, its not going to last at this rate and thats so sad. Qsmp seems to just be a money maker for its creators, every part of it meticulous planned to see what will bring in the most views (as well as its the first server i have personally seen have a merch store? i wonder if the admins that play the characters are getting any of that money…)

Anyway, i just wanted to say my piece on it after ive been apart of the minecraft youtuber fan community for a long time and have seen a lot of shit :/ just a psa if your first reaction to this post is to get all upset in my comments i will block you. I do however appreciate genuine comments on the situation, as a fan or not of quackity. Worker exploitation is never okay but most of everything else is just how i see the situation.

(just wanted to add a quick edit cause i got a good anon but accidentally deleted it🧍🏻)

I am not making fun or trying to make the fact quackity is getting harassed less important. Doxxing and threats are never okay, and even if i dislike him i dont wish that on him. I am only disappointed that it took to this point for him to say something. Of course he couldve been planning something but he never explicitly said so so lots of people, me included, weren’t sure if he was going to ignore it as he does have a track record of not saying anything unless forced. As well as hes never condemned his fans for the fandoms habit of doxxing and harassment. Ofc Q cant control his fandom, but openly saying “hey stop doing that. i dont want yall to do that” would be nice. I thankfully have never experienced it but i had twt moots who got doxxed by qsmp fans and thats why i said i wish he had said something earlier. But i am not trying to take away how severe the fact hes getting doxxed is. Just wanted to make that clear👍🏻 Dont fucking dox or harass people, be critical but dont be horrible people.

[haemosexuality]

i blocked her so i can talk about this here now. in 2022 i became friends w someone from here and at least to me we were really good friends since tho there was some personality differences that kept chafing. also ive been really depressed especially this past year or so and i was not my best self i was not as reliable of a friend as i shouldve been. that made it worst. i (not on purpose) made her really upset over a thing (theres a lot of context to explain and i dont wanna type all of that rn) and didnt immediately acknowledge it bc i was busy (out with family all day) and then she ghosted me. we were friends for almost 2 years and she just ghosted me. and i dont, want to diminish her feelings in any way but from my pov i dont think it was that bad? that it warranted that? its been two months so i sent her a text saying i wish her well and then blocked her on whatsapp and on here. because i dont really want to hear what she has to say at this point (because she ghosted me for two months and i had no indication that would change). but im still sad. im really sad. ive been trying to not think about it because i dont want to break too hard but, man. she was my best friend for almost two years, we had kind of concrete plans to meet this year when/if i go to the us, i really cared about her even if i was horrible at showing it. another friend of mine is of the opinion that i wasnt in the wrong and am better off without her but i dont think so. i feel really bad. i hope shes doing ok. half of me thinks i deserve better than someone that ghosts me the other half thinks its exactly what i deserve for being such a dick friend and idk which to listen to. i dont want to hear anything she has to say but i also wish shed just say anything at all, even if she just cursed me off and blocked me

a lot of the stuff outside of my control that kept causing problem in our friendship was resolved like, in the first two weeks of her ghosting me. if theyd been resolved just a week earlier we probably would still be talking. i dont feel like i deserve any of it. not the meds, not the laptop, nothing. i know i was in a really bad depressive episode, i know how depression works but couldnt i have tried harder? and even outside of that, i cant just use depression to excuse my lack of communicating and all the promises i wasnt keeping, nothing was stopping me from being more honest except my own guilt. she didnt deserve that. its kind of devastating to have a friendship end so suddenly like this. i really really miss her. i havent blocked her on discord in case she does want to reach out even tho i know blocking her on whatsapp (the main place we talked) sends a big "never speak to me again" message. im good at repressing emotions but whenever i think about it too much i want to tear my organs out

i didnt even consider the idea of being angry or upset at her until over a month has passed. i was venting to another friend and she said that ghosting me was a shitty thing to do and the way she treated me before wasn't ok. i genuinely hadnt felt anything other than "im such a horrible person and a fuck up, i hope she can forgive me but i understand if she cant'' at that point and idk if it was just lack of self respect or if i really was super in the wrong and my other friend just couldnt grasp that from my pov of things. i dont know. i have more to say but talking about this very in depth for pretty much the first time is making me want to throw up so im going to stop writing

[gayemeralds]

So, thoughts on Chris Thorndyke? I've seen a ton of people see him as the worst thing about Sonic X with a small minority even using him as a reason to dislike Sonic X with Tom and Maddie being preferred over him?

im going to be honest i don't mind chris thorndyke. in my ideal world sonic x wouldn't have needed him, because I hate the whole two worlds thing- the story should have just focused on sonic and not all the new original characters. ideally it would have been an adaptation that fleshed out events in games (especially classic games, where theres' not much of an established story) and relationships between characters. i complain about the human characters a lot with the movies but im not super fond about it for sonic x, either.

the thing about sonic x, however, is that all of their human characters are at least a little bit zany. tanaka and ella and chuck and topaz are likeable and memorable characters because they're fucking weird. they're fun. the sonic movies sort of treat maddie and tom as "average" people and they become boring in comparison to the extraordinary. especially since the sonic movies don't have the benefit of a LOT of time like sonic x does. sonic x can afford a few human focused episodes because they have like twenty more to go through. the sonic movies have a max of like two hours to balance the plot and the characters. maddie and tom aren't as interesting in comparison to the plot or the mobian characters.

also, people rag on chris a lot, but i think that's mostly because they don't engage with his character. he's a child who's neglected by his well meaning but busy parents. he makes a real, genuine connection with sonic, after spending a lot of time feeling isolated, and of course he's going to be upset when he has to lose his best friend. he's literally twelve years old! he's going to be emotional and reckless because he's genuinely immature. and i think that makes him compelling, too- he's a three dimensional character. he wants to be a good kid but he's going to make brash and selfish mistakes.

he's not my favourite character, mainly because i don't care for the rich character archetype, but i am not fond of people trashing on chris just to turn around and praise tom. like every criticism people have for chris can easily be turned on tom. "chris steals the spotlight from other sonic characters!" who do you think was the main character in sonic 1 because it sure as hell wasn't sonic. "chris was selfish for not letting sonic go home!" well first of all he DID let him go home. its a similar situation to elise from 06- they know what they have to do, and they will, but it's HARD. tom was selfish for endangering sonic and then initially wanting nothing to do with him. "chris is mean to helen." tom is mean to rachel and crazy carl.

i don't think chris was the best way to go about sonic x, but i definitely like him better than tom. at least when he's a dick he has the excuse of being literally 12 years old. but i do think giving sonic a younger kid as a companion was a wise choice on sonic x's part- it matches the storybook series, when sonic gets transported to a new world and helps a person with their issues while saving the world. it feels weird with tom and maddie, especially since they're forcing this nuclear family dynamic with him.

anyway tldr: chris is fine for the story sonic x wanted to tell with the two worlds theory. sonic movies missed out on giving sonic a human companion closer to his age instead of the weird family thing they're pushing.

[iforgotwhaticalledthis]

You wished to discuss the school of good and evil my liege?

(Dunno where that came from srry)

slamming my fitst on table oh boy do i. Im just gonna ramble about the difference betwwn the books and the movies because it always irks me

So firstly they made Sophie so much nicer?? LIKE NO. SHES A BITCH. and we love an unapologetic bitch in this household. They cut out the whole "she's only friends with Agatha because its her Good Deed", an all the other bullshit Sophie odes to try and get into good. In the books that begining bit is so good because Sophies doing all these good actions but her narration shows like the motivation and its such a good bit of characterization. Also in the books only agatha was an outcast, making them both outcasts makes Sophie seem much more genuine but she wasn't!! Sure i think her and Agatha's friendship meant a lot to Sophie, she was still such a bitch to her!! meanwhile Agatha is completly ride or died for Sophie, even though she gets treated like shit.

Next is how the movie has no one know about the school. Like why??? people knew that shit was going on. Why the fuck would they remove it. I like that they made Lady Lesso a Reader though, i dont remember if the y did that in the books, but it was good character stuff. fleshed her out a bit more. Made the parallels to Sophie *exist* honestly.

Love in the movie how theres the big fight scene with "Toxic" playing absolutely iconic. Loveh ow in the book the wolf toutched her hair and then she fucking killed that guy. iconic of her also. in the movie they added the character that Agatha became friends with, it was goo way for the movie to show the whole deal with what happened to failed students. excpet in the book they turned into the wolf/fairy servants. and the Trial of talents or whatever its called was so good in the book. why did they delete it from the movie?

and then the whole making the wodds fight thing something special? like no those bitches go rabid and kill each other every year!! its tradition

also agatha transforming into a coackraoch and helping sophie, therefore making her top of her class, while also tryign to stay to p of her own clas?? LIKE AGATHA GIRL!! shes an icon shes a legend. And the mirror scene- oh my god. the self hatred agatha holds for herself in her heart smh.

ANd tedros. where do i begin with tedros. slightly upset he wasnt blonde. but man he is the Guy. hes got bot mommy issues AND daddy issues and Weird Wiard Grandfather? issues and he just slays mkay? hes so down bad when he realises who he actually lies, and hes a pompous ass before that.

and then they go home and agathas like wait!!! im fucking miserable here!!!! i miss tedros!!! meanwhile sophies like "yay homesweet home i cnat believe i was evil lol" and meanwhile tedros is like "woman when they love eachother <- Yes i stole that line from cantripped (but theyre actually sisters. its weird. lets not talk baout it.)

Speaking of the ending, the movie having tedros and agatha have that moment of understanding totally messes up the next book but whatever its not like they were ever gonna do a sequel.

ok thats me ranting over thanks for the ask i needed to get this out my system

[goremet-chef]

guhh im so bothered rnn (vent/rant)

so... i? idk. ive been out as trans in my house since 2020. my mom doesnt call me dom (sometimes she does if my sibling encourages her to, but she defaults back to my deadname anyways) and ive learned to accept it. i dont think she ever will and its sad for me, the reality that once i start my transition, ill need to just.. leave a lot of my family behind. they think its some rebellious choice like i hate all of them but im more worried about them hating me

my mom says shes supportive but is actively right wing, shes having an inner battle with her ideologies, i know that. i can tell by how she talks about homeless people vs how she talks about us being queer

so. whatever. thats my mom i guess. but for a long time, i wasnt out to my moms husband. i despise him and ive never intentionally started a conversation with him, let alone come out. ive started to not care about what he thinks. i know what he thinks, he thinks gays should die, said it straight to my gay siblings face. okay, cool. doesnt concern me, moms bf is absolutely fucking nothing to me.

to remedy this sort of like... we didnt wanna DEAL with what he might say if he heard both my siblings calling me dom, cuz both of them do, so whenever theyre around they would just refer to my deadname, but i saw it made them cringe, so now everyone calls me 'that one child'

that one, other one, etc etc

no one even calls me my name anymore

it makes me feel so hopeless. ive EXPRESSED it makes me upset but my younger sibling doesnt care (the one most guilty of it), because they dont understand why it upsets me, i guess thats enough reason to keep going

its so dehumanizing to be reduced to actually nothing. i ALREADY have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of identity issues. sometimes it gets so bad i start having crazy ass delusions, sometimes im not even present and its a different part of my mind in my body

its hard enough as is!!! now my family wont call me anything at all

it makes me feel less bad about leaving, but i dont think ill ever leave at this rate

need to start T, change my name, get a job, all in that order. starting T seems impossible at this rate. i.. dont know what to do. i cant keep LIVING like this, because im not living at all

i never leave my house because im too ashamed in how i look, i cant BEAR the thought of anyone else perceiving me as female, i cant fucking do it!!! im so tired. my house is like a prison for me, genuinely.

and my family dont get it, obviously. they think its my choice, im some kind of hermit who doesnt care about being outside because i have internet. they are so fucking wrong. i miss going out, i miss being around people, i miss existing like everyone else, but i just cant do it man. not like this

so it becomes a waiting game, when am i gonna bring up starting it? how do i even move forward once i do? what if she says no? id have to do it on my own but i cant.. i cant even order things for myself without freezing like shutting up will get me out of there, i cant fucking do it

she doesnt even know!! we were in the car together and she was like yknow theres people who cant even make a doctors appointment. what losers.

IM losers, would she have said that if she knew? does she know and decided to say it anyways? i dont know, but its just.. everything seems so hopeless at this point. i want to just give up, accept im not gonna be who i truly am, but man i cant stand being any more miserable

it makes me wanna cry, the only time i get to feel myself how i think i should be is either if i draw something fictitious, or if i spend hours in the mirror making sure i look masculine, my mustache is convincing, etc. AND FOR WHAT? literally for fucking WHAT, because i dont leave the house anyways!!!!! dolled up like i have somewhere to be, like my appearance will get me what i want, when im stuck at home! i got nothing to prove to them, they think what they think

its fucking dreadful. im so scared of my life passing me by, and here i am wasting away in my bedroom for the last 3 years. no progress, nothing. at first, i was scared about even starting T because theres a higher risk of heart disease, but. i dont fucking care if it KILLS me. i dont care!!! if it kills me i dont fucking care im not living the life i want to live anyways. the risk of death is worth it at this point, i mean that so seriously

idk. im just tired, is all. i wish everyone could perceive me the way i dream they would. only time that happens is online, or when im not with my family at all and instead with my friends. but we only hang out like. once in a blue moon

and yknow what? im not even safe then. i remember we were at my friends house for halloween last year (we always meet up). i had my full leatherface costume one, my face was touched up to make it look like the mask. and still. dressed that way, when my friends mom asked me what my name was, i said dom and she was immediately like. "oh, dominique?" no. my name is fucking DOMINIC.

i didnt say anything besides correcting her, but it was such a blow, man. the only time ill be happy is if im closely monitoring every single thing i do, to make sure i dont appear feminine at all. no matter how i look, now matter how deep my voice is. miserable. why would anyone think that id choose this

[rookiespropeller]

im in one of those phases rn where i profoundly miss ogcp's 2010-2012 era. like, i would've loved for the game to freeze there. keep new stories + new parties going ofc, but in that same style & vibe.

which is kinda what cpl is attempting to do, and i really do love the server, but theres only so much u can achieve w a team of around 10 volunteers (only 2 of them able to work full time, soon only 1) when updates need to be pumped out left n right

i watched an old ogcp video on youtube and saw that the lights at the dance club turned a different color as enough penguins changed to wear the same color. i had genuinely forgotten that was a thing, with how long it's been and how used i am to simply... not have that feature. but ofc the memories came back to me instantly and i longed to go back in time to live it again.

i really miss small details like these. not that many ppl care abt them, but to me it makes the world come a little bit more alive. i'm probably never gonna experience those lights changing by color again & it makes me sad

edit: rambling goes on below the cut bc i wanted my the rest of my thoughts to be on the post itself, not just in the tags

ofc its not just about the lights, but u get what i mean. with a large professional team who gets paid to keep things rolling, has enough employees + ressources to work on multiple things at once... theres a lot more u can do. and unfortunately, no cpps will ever be able to have that

like even going back to comparing w cpl. cpl cant have a weekly updating newspaper, or even any newspaper at all, bc theres not enough ppl to 1) write it 2) create/find fitting artwork to go on the pages 3) code it and put it into the game and 4) repeat all these steps on a regular basis. and the newspaper is only ONE thing among so many

there are lots features that are planned & already announced. they'll all get done eventually, but the thing is that if one feature is being worked on, there's no time to work on anything else. meanwhile, the community is expecting parties & events at the same rate the ogcp team was churning them out (and i don't blame them for it, new content and parties are a big part of what keeps the game active & exciting). problem is, whenever parties need to be worked on, development of new features is halted.

& then of course you can't forget to update the hidden pins, the Penguin Style, the Furniture + Igloo catalogs, the igloo music selection, the stage plays, the ice rink turning into the stadium (and vice versa) along with a new Snow & Sports, the blog posts, the community board, etc. etc. this is just what's coming at the top of my head. most of these are already not updating as often as ogcp updated them, yet are still incredibly difficult to keep up with

& THEN between all of that, there are bugs that need to be patched. but ofc no one wants to work on bugs when they're already completely exhausted from the rest of their workload + they're not getting paid for any of it

after all of this, it's near impossible to squeeze in stuff like garden animations at the mine shack, a working puck/soccer ball at the ice rink/stadium, stage scripts with clickable chat... or even color-changing lights at the dance club.

god this makes me so upset but its literally no ones fault. theres not much anyone can do abt it & it breaks my heart

i miss club penguin.

[literaphobe]

a lot of mcc'c audience (but not the majority) doesnt agree that the enjoyment of the event comes from watching passionate competitive players do well and win. If I decide to watch someones vod and the first thing they say is "we didnt practice at all LOL" then I dont want to watch because it seems like they dont care about the event. Illumina is an incredible player but I once watched sot from his perspective and holy shit it was so boring mainly because everyone in the team was so quiet, almost no comunication, no strategy nothing no chemistry, like, I'm sure they were having fun and wanted to team but there was zero excitment.

The problem is that the few people who are competitive/practice and strategize, win a lot (dream and sapnap are the best two examples, purpled might be up there soon) but everyone else (and their audiences) cries about it saying "oh the same people win everytime, its boring!!" but like, if your streamer cared and practiced and got better, they would win, simple as that.

So, imo, mcc tries to please the annoying crybabies by adding non-competitive people on the event-> less likely to have cool interesting moments-> less likely to care about mcc gameplay/skill-> even when they win, its boring

Just to clarify, you're allowed to not like competitiveness, Im not very competitive myself, but if, as a player you say "I'm here to have fun and if I win then cool", you have no right to cry about other teams doing well. If I have the skills that sapnap has, I'll be happier winning against fruitberries than winning against grian (GRIAN IS FINE, I'M just saying skillwise he is not an s-tier, and he doesnt have to be). I'd much rather lose to tryhards than win an event where I was the only one who tried.

To me it comes down to passion and genuine interest in minecraft skill, if mcc adds less cracked players, it shouldnt be a championship- it should just be an event.

Also, there are issues with team creation, there sooo many cool ideas and then scott comes up with a random reason as to why some people cannot team and honestly its frustrating, I'd rather you please your audience by giving them a team/duo that they ask for than banning memorising the builds at buildmart, you know? Some rules are kinda dumb.

Tldr, people who claim they play just for fun(and their viewers) show negativity to people who play competitively when those people win, and that is just annoying

honestly. like… the truth is. mcc has become much more competitive. the unfortunate thing is that some people don’t wanna admit it? to the point where there are people who don’t try and then get upset when they don’t win. like. its a different case for players who are put there specifically to nerf and get fucked bc of underpowered teams, tina’s a good example. as much as i wish she wouldn’t sit out mccs on purpose, i completely get where she’s coming from. it feels hella embarrassing to fall so far behind, to feel like a heavy weight dragging your team down. and tina deserves better than that!!

also yeah… i mean to be honest. sapnap doesn’t even practice for mcc, he’s just good. dream is a mix between doesn’t practice vs practices heavily and strategizes actively with teammates. but yeah. team balancing just needs to be fair? op teams are a fun interesting idea and honestly i hope theres an op mcc one day just to see crazy team ups but honestly i think i just miss seeing him play maybe i dont care about anything else idk

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Okay, I just finished the Shanghai special and Im suprised to say that while the first ten minutes or so are awful and genuinely upsetting and I hate hate hate that the only reason Marinette wanted to go to Shanghai was to be around Adrien when she has FAMILY there, I actually really enjoyed the rest of the special. Like, aside from that awful start I think this is probably my favorite thing to come out of mlb aside from the Origins episodes, which I also really enjoyed, theyre probably my favorite episodes in the entire show tbh. And do you wanna guess why? Because romance doesnt matter for most of it and the focus is on friendship. Like, im actually going to go insane how is a show whose core appeal is the romance between the two leads so bad at romance that its literally only good when thats not the focus

So yeah, I really liked Marinette and Fei's relationship and I really liked Fei, I thought she was pretty compelling. Her civilian design is fine, it matches her character well enough and I dont mind that its kinda generic because shes homeless, I dont think you have much of an opportunity to develop a personal style when youre in her situation. Im not a fan of her superhero outfit, I could really do without the red hair and I honestly find it kinda strange that they would not only have a third bright red superhero, but one thats also dragon themed. Like, I understand that the Prodiginous and the miraculous she apparently also has are different but like, why not make her a shade of cyan to match her kwami or just literally anything other than red cmon

Speaking of the kwami, I was going to praise this special for just inventing a different type of ancient magic instead of adding more onto the mess that is the Miravulous Lore but then they did it anyway. Like, Im not at all opposed to having a lot of superheroes that belong to the main cast and that arent in Paris and Im not even opposed to those superheroes getting their powers through magical means because I think they did a good job with the Prodiginous, but ouououghhhh pls just stop adding more Miraculous, theres enough of them out there

Thats already kindof all I have to say, its mostly enjoyable. If you havent watched this special because youve read about the awful inciting incident, I dont blame you at all but if youre interested now, I'd recommend you just skip from 2:13 to 7:02 and you're past the worst of it. The only thing you'll miss is that its summer break and Marinette is going to Shanghai to visit her uncle and Gabriel is also going to there, officially to open a store but inofficially to find some powerful magic so he can use it for evil and also hes bringing Adrien

[matoitech]

i think also theres like a broad amount of ppl who dont rly get the difference between like ‘asexual representation’ and desexualization of marginalized ppl like lgbt ppl, disabled ppl, ppl of color, what have u on here so a lot of genuine discussion and respectful understanding that could be reached between ppl on here is thrown out the window in favor of smth like ‘its kind of weird ppl used to say hcing autistic characters as ace was ableist ppl rly just hate ace ppl 🙄’ when its like.. no it rly isnt that weird and its still necessary to bring up bcuz i feel like if u had actually listened to why autistic ppl were not happy with How ppl were going about this u would understand that autistic ppl r unhappy with autistic adult characters being DESEXUALIZED bcuz desexualization of disabled ppl is a thing that affects our real lives and that transfers to fiction and ppls stereotypes they apply onto characters in their Headcanons. so often this shit is contextual and the ‘ace headcanon’ is framed like ‘i think its funny if this adult autistic character doesnt know what sex is lol’ or ‘this adult autistic character is basically a child so its gross and predatory to give them a sex life :/’ like these things r not neutral or acceptable just bcuz its framed in the context of an ace headcanon, theyre ableist. and its important ppl look at the characters theyre consistently choosing to apply these headcanons onto and see as ‘rep’, bcuz like. still to this day despite autistic ppl (including autistic ace ppl) talking abt why this is ableist, autistic traits r often still seen as ‘ace coding’ by fandom ppl n stuff, when thats just infantalization, thats not ‘coding’ thats ur own bigotry. like im using autism/disability here as my example bcuz i feel like its important ppl understand that headcanons dont exist in a bubble and theres context for when things r appropriate or not. saying ‘they just hate ace hcs/hate ace ppl and dont want us to have fun or relate to characters’ is unfair when ppl have legitimate reasons for being sensitive abt sexuality wrt marginalized characters and if u listened to ppl, including ppl in ur own community who bring this stuff up, u would be able to be more understanding of this

for another relevant example, sometimes ur personal like ability to relate to a fictional character or whatever in this particular way doesnt take priority over the context of the characters n story. like sometimes it rly just isnt appropriate to say for example gay characters whose sexual attraction to each other and sex life is present in the story is not important bcuz u cant relate to it and so ur going to make them ace. thats not looking at like the wider context of how lgbt sexuality is viewed and why thats important for lgbt audiences to see and why taking that out is, yeah, going to get ppl telling u ur being homophobic, bcuz we have this context that u either missed or ignored. this is not JUST true for lgbt sexuality but, its an example. something i also see sometimes where ppl will get upset that lgbt ppl r unhappy with them for doing this is ppl will say smth like ‘lgbt ppl dont say other lgbt ppls hcs r bigoted :/’ which is neither true nor fair, cuz we definitely do when they r being bigoted lol

[dreamties]

the ask is now deleted because tumblr was being a lil goofy + silly again-- my dear anon basically asked me if I had any headcanons on 5cream because they were hyperfixating on it a LOT (at the time of the ask)

tw: scream (2022) spoilers, psychosis + med discussion, panic attacks?? um...i think thats the main stuff. love yall, hope ya enjoy :)

I would like to believe that Gale & Dewey stayed married between Scream 4 & 5cream- thus still being married during the time of this film. mostly because I genuinely think they're so cute together and I think it doubles the angst factor with Dewey's death lol

Martha Meeks is a single mother. She adopted her two kids when they were babies, with her at the time partner. I haven't decided on why her partner is out of the picture, just that they are. Also, I don't think she married a cishet man . . .or a man at all . . .

I do believe the other parent was not present fairly early on in the youngins lives

Martha would tell stories of her older brother to her children when they were growing up !!

mostly in part that she knows Randy would have done the same- tell ridiculous stories of himself to them, that is. but also as a way to keep his memory alive. it's really hard for her to talk about him sometimes, but part of her healing process is being able to cherish the time he was with her and move on with her life.

Speaking of her brother, Martha isn't big on horror movies- but also knows, reasonably, that you have to be prepared in a town like Woodsboro.

She doesn't start it when they're really young, but when they get to 13/14 or so-- she starts a weekly or monthly movie night to bond with her kids and watch horror. It's not always horror but as the kids grow, Mindy is constantly asking if they can watch the new It movie or some of Jordan Peele's work.

Martha will generally watch classics (that she used to watch with Randy when they were younger) and even has a few faves that her kids have shown her.

It was never explicitly said that these movie watchings were to prepare for a life in her hometown, but it became more apparent to her kids over time. (like not to add extra trauma to these kids but like. im gonna add extra trauma to these kids)

she would start off with things she remembered watching with her brother. which wasn't Randy's usual stuff, btw. It wasn't all slasher stuff and hot girls. Randy did have some self awareness haha

also !! classic monster horror. not necessarily scary. kinda cheesy, even.

Mindy absolutely grew up idolizing her uncle !! she's a little upset she'll never meet him. but she feels like she knew him so well just with how many stories she's heard about him.

Growing up she's mirrored so much of her personality around him. Her mom is so proud of her, no matter what she does, but it makes Martha tear up sometimes. She really misses her older brother.

she of course loves horror films. i mean any films, really. she's drawn towards more modern stuff. less of the splatterfests and more psychological. but really she's always up for any sort of scare :)

Chad has never liked horror!! :( He doesn't enjoy being scared. He'll only watch it with his mom and sister or people he REALLY trusts / feels safe around. he appreciates the sillier more humorous horror!! more absurd, more cheap, the better.

This sort of "fear of fear" is intensified after the 25th anniversary attacks.

Tara and Amber were literally dating what're yall talking abt???

like their feelings for each other were SO apparent in the movie. plus it makes the betrayal with Amber as one of the killers just that juicier <33

apparently theres a text limit. i'll cont. this post soon <3

Stu's still alive I don't care what y'all say :((

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[trainingdummyrabbit]

GRABS miss rat god :D for the character ask game

HEHOO OH MAN DO I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT HER.

> First impression okay honestly, just seeing her ambiently around, she really did feel like that Mascot Character with 75 trademarks after. like Oh Yeah Its The Marketable One For That Series, Okay. did Not think very much of her at all at first, just an “oh ok youre one of Those” sortsa things. i did Not have a lot of faith in her writing as a character if im being honest which, now, is Immensely funny.

> Impression now oh my god shes a fucking WEIRDO. she is my poor little squeak squeak, she is the plague upon my brain, shes done nothing wrong, shes done everything wrong. she is one of the Only characters ever, actually. okay, so listen. her writing absolutely Demolishes me. i have said it before and i will continue saying it-- she is such a fascinating fucking character. a walking contradiction, a trainwreck covered gently with a sequin cape. she is SO not normal and i am forever going to be obsessed with her. her role in the story is endlessly fascinating, her strange co-dependent dynamic with the other two in the rat trio is immensely compelling, and on GOD she needs fucking therapy. shes a manipulative hypocrite that so so desperately needs some sense smacked into her.  she has So much buried potential in her that isnt even buried because of bad writing! its because she doesnt WANT to let that part of her be known. and because this isnt her story-- and in fact never was-- we never get to truly see Her beyond short glimpses of what Could be-- and what that means for her character and her motivations and who She is, it means Everything. she is the presence in an absence and i will never be over her.

> Favorite moment oh god how do you even pick. theyre all pretty equally ranked to me so im just going to single out the lines when you fuck up completing the tutorial. the “hm. so. you kind of suck at this. like a lot. try again.” like honestly. iconic.

> Idea for a story its a little basic, but i So badly would love to see/write a retelling of canon but from her perspective. i want to dive into what shes thinking, what shes prioritizing. she has so much buried down that never gets the chance to surface-- and probably still wont, in the situation theyre in-- but even just the Smallest of hints could define her so much. how does she react to things so drastically not going her way? i am rotating her like a lab specimen.  hehe.

> Unpopular opinion honestly... i dont think i have one for her? i certainly dont have any immediate pet peeves off the top of my head. all i can really think of is just. please give her pants. or tights or something, she is going to get cold :( 

> Favorite relationship well, she doesn’t really have much to go around skdjnfksdj genuine answer is her with mad rat. the way that they so completely foil each other still drives me absolutely bonkers. the way that these two are, at their core, so immensely similar, but everything else around that are complete and stark opposites. rat god being some “higher being” thats completely resigned to her fate to upkeep this perpetual cycle, and mad rat being just some guy who, by sheer force of spite, breaks every rule shes held herself up by in the span of like a day. it infuriates her to absolutely no end, but that fascination still remains. they are utterly inseparable-- and in any other circumstance, they could’ve maybe just maybe been friends. 

> Favorite headcanon she is constantly in presentation mode. because of the nature of her being, she constantly has to put up a sparkly front-- which means shes hardly ever without it. meaning that if shes on her own, she will Still chime out with little exclamations or do her silly little poses when theres no one around to see-- just out of sheer force of habit. nobody can really stop her either, shes just... like this. the only time she truly Stops is if she is truly and deeply upset by something-- and even then, some of those mannerisms still shine through. shes one of those characters you should be worried about if you dont hear or see them.

[Ask Game]

[elfdyke]

wow thanks! that was a really in depth post about it you make good points! when I played I definitely got the sense that monika had encouraged sayori to kill herself and I didn’t get the sense of any remorse when natsuki or yuri died or got fucked up but I guess u do make some good points there about how she was just trying to make them less desirable rather than kill them. I’m new to the game and the fandom so im not super familiar with everything yet but is there anything in the canon or lore that points away from monika having pushed sayori to commit suicide or is it mostly just fan theories and personal readings? either way thank u so much for answering!

yes i can absolutely find you some info on that!

there's quite a bit of information hidden within the games files, so I'm kind of assuming if you're new to the game, that you might not have seen these things? so ill dive into them too!

I'm gona do this under the cut so i can like, dissect things from the game !

(also i found stuff thats specifically pointing away from her meaning actual harm/death for Both yuri and sayori, jsyk)

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.txt (discovered in game files during act 2)

“All I want is for you to hate them. Why is that so hard.”

not, all i want for them is to die. she doesnt want to kill them. she wants to separate us from them so we are with Her, not them. things spiral out of control, but it was never her intention for things to get this bad. ntm its repeated over and over in this game how badly monika wants to die. she's hanging on by a thread, keeping on only because she wants to be with us, to be in contact with reality. this leads to really unfortunate circumstances but i really strongly believe everything in the text alludes to the fact she did Not want things to get this bad

ACT 3 INTRO:

(im copy pasting a transcript of the monologue here, but this is taken from the very beginning of act 3, which you can see in this video starting at 25:56)

imo this is all the proof needed to show that she really had no intention of ‘killing’ sayori and yuri. things spiraled out of control far beyond what she was capable of handling. 

her goals with making sayori more depressed and yuri more obsessive were, in here words “to just try to make them as unlikable as possible”. she didnt want her friends to brutally die!! she loved them q_q i feel like a lot of people really dont look at this specific part of what she says and take it to heart. its very telling for her character and important for understanding what she does and why she does it

ACT 3 MONOLOGUES:

sayori's hanging (cw: graphic descriptions of suicide)

dialogue of importance:

"I was thinking about Sayori earlier... I still wish I could have handled that whole thing a little more tactfully."

+

"Come to think of it, it was probably less 'changing her mind' and more just her survival instincts kicking in." "So you can't really fault her for that." "It's easier to think that she probably wouldn't have changed her mind anyway, right?" "It's not healthy to think about the things you could have done differently." "So just remember that even though you could have saved her, it's technically not your fault she killed herself." "I may have exacerbated it a little bit, but Sayori was already mentally ill." "Still, though..." "I wonder how things would be if you and I just started dating from the get-go?" "I guess we'd all still be in the clubroom, writing poems and having fun together." "But what's the point when none of it is even real?" "I mean, it's the same ending either way, right?"

ok so whats important here, is monika is essentially using us, the player, as a mirror in act 3? the things she says i believe, very strongly show her sense of uncertainty in her actions, and her fears of what if she could have done something else??

"even though you could have saved her, its technically not your fault she killed herself" reads SO much to me like shes trying to comfort herself with this, she doesnt want it to be her fault. nothings real, sayori's a character in a game. but she wishes so badly they could have just been normal girls living together.

happy end poem

OK SO LIKE. this is actual proof of Why she does everything she does. she's scared if she reaches out and tells us she's trapped in a game, we'll stop playing, we'll kill her. she tinkers with the game, trying to make herself look the best, trying to make us choose her, and nothing works. and this leads to her becoming frustrated and scared, and screwing with the game more and more desperately trying to do anything to save herself.

if you recall, in act 2, she gives you a poem which bluescreen the computer. this was actually an attempt she makes to escape the game q_q she never wanted to kill yuri, she never wanted things to escalate like that. she wanted to get out but she had no idea how to program her way out of the game, resulting in everything crumbling around her, and her friends dying.

my own route

hang on this one genuinely makes me so upset.

it very much relates back to how in the conversation about sayori's suicide, she's still clearly thinking about how things could be Different. shes thinking about how they could be normal. "I may not have needed to take such drastic measures to be with you. Maybe the rest of the club would still be around..." , and then immediately trying to convince herself it doesnt matter, and that she doesnt care.

its so so obvious shes hurting and she misses her friends. the additional "i really dont (miss them)" at the end really shows that shes desperately trying to convince herself that it was worth it, that she did everything she should have, and her friends dont matter. but they clearly do matter to her. she loved them (she couldnt even delete them if u recall)

also another important part about this monologue, a lot of people say she killed the other girls out of jealousy, but this shows thats not true??

"I think I would end up forcing you onto my route anyway." "It has less to do with me not having a route, and more to do with me knowing that nothing is real."

this wasnt because shes 'in love' with us. she wanted to be close to something real, something tangible. she's clinging onto us, the player character, like someone lost at sea with a piece of driftwood, doing everything she can to stay afloat

wine

ok this isnt on the surface level as important as the other ones, but literally look at how she talks about this memory.. she misses them so much and talking about this memory she clearly cherishes brings her so much joy. she doesnt belittle any of them, she doesnt talk down on them, she’s just reliving this memory because it makes her happy 

I HOPE THIS HELPS?? im sure theres a few more things im forgetting, but i did my best to scrabble up everything i could to show how monika’s not an evil mastermind, shes a scared girl who didnt realize what she was doing and when things got too bad, she did her best to fix it, only for it to get worse n worse

edit: oh heres the proof that monika always loved the girls and never actually deleted them

:’)

edit 2: haha.. um ouch

“It’s not right for me to miss things that weren’t even real in the first place.” shes forcing herself to try and ignore her feelings for the other girls

[blxetsi]

modern sasha braus dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!sasha braus x gn!reader

had to write something for my queen 😌✨

- she shares her food with you. I Dont Care She Does

- also since this is a modern au i dont think she would have such an obsession with food as she does in the canonverse (if we can even call it an obsession) i still think she would have a big appetite (and she'd be proud of it tf 😏🙏) but i just dont see her always being hungry as the fandom makes her out to be

- really likes to hold hands with you

- i think itd be really cute if she was studying to become a baker ?? maybe taking a culinary course at the university you two attend ?? maybe you somehow met there or through a friend

- i think she'd still be insecure about her accent (ig if this is au is set in america she'd be from the south 😐🤚) and would speak kind of like a robot to people she didn't know that well

- connie and jean ALWAYS bring out her accent tho,, like with them she can really be herself

- i think when you were starting to get to know her she would be speaking very formally, and youd take it like shes being kinda stand offish or like,, just doesnt wanna talk so youre thinking "okay maybe she doesnt wanna be friends 😁👍" and would back off

- now sasha's upset because you are so cool and unique and she just wants to know so much about you but youve been very distant lately ?? like did she do something wrong ??

- she tells connie, jean, marco, and niccolo one night and connie and jean are on the side of "find y/n and demand to know why their behavior has changed" while marco and niccolo are on the side of "respectfully dm y/n and ask why they havent been wanting to see sasha recently"

- sasha goes with the latter of the two and dms you after passing you in the dining hall, you two literally keep glancing at each other, texting while you sit with your respective friend groups

- after everything gets cleared up sasha is immediately inviting you to hang out with her crew, and even getting some of her other friends like eren, mikasa, and ymir and historia to come join too

- if she has all the people shes comfortable with there, itll be less scary talking with her accent !

- You Love It. You Think Its Adorable.

- you guys would definitely have a friends to lovers type relationship

- like friendly hugs turn into slightly longer hugs, and now sasha will constantly ask to sit next to you during movie nights

- loves to rest her head on your lap while she spreads across the couch

- i think you two would have your first kiss in niccolos apartment

- you two were sitting in his kitchen, with sasha munching on the leftover food he made that night for your get together

- his mom had called him so he decided to leave to go to his bedroom to answer it

- and slowly you guys just kind of,,,, leaned in 🙈✨

- it was slow and really romantic, kinda rough with the crumbs that were around sasha's lips but you didn't mind

- niccolo barged in and ruined the moment 😐🤚 good going pal 😁👍

- you two were so shocked that you two tried to leave

- ended up just walking down the road in silence like wtf i thought yall were trying to get away from each other 😭😭😭😭

- sasha ended up staying the night 🤩‼️

- NOT in a sexual way

- but in like a,,,, rue and jules kinda way where jules comes in through the window (but only sasha didnt come in through the window she came in the front door with you) and you two held each other and gave each other smooches for the rest of the night

- sasha woke up late and missed her morning classes 😐🤚 didnt even care and went back to sleep with you

- i think for the most part you get along well with her friend group

- youre definitely closer to connie, jean, niccolo, marco, and historia

- ymir teases you guys a lot and you cant tell if what she says is just jokes (it always is) or if shes completely serious

- eren, mikasa, armin, annie, along with reiner and bertholdt are more of aquantances to you, just because you dont see them as often as you do the others

- she has such a weird relationship with her english professor

- will literally complain how much work he gives his class and then the next day will gush about how great he his bc he gave her a granola bar for her effort in her assignment

- girl pick a script and stick to it 😐🤚

- has a collection of stuffies on her bed. i dont make the rules.

- anytime theres a carnival in town she drags EVERYONE there.

- you all agree to split up into groups so you can all check out what you want, but you always agree to meet up and eat funnel cake together 🥺

- sasha tries to get you to win her new stuffies

- if you cant do it, or just want some for yourself, shes calling connie and niccolo up PLEADING with them to come find you guys,

- then she claims theres been an ACCIDENT and that you two need help

- niccolo is zooming bc he cares abt his besties 😌✨

- connie texts jean and marco to come find you guys too 😭😭😭

- who gets a kick and a lecture for lying courtesy of niccolo ? sasha. but who also gets a bunch of stuffies won for her courtesy of niccolo ? sasha.

- for your anniversary i think she'd want to do something really fun with you

- she'd set up a pillow fort and have a bunch ot string lights and stuff, have all of her favourite stuffies (which are the ones she thinks of you when she sees) in there too.

- she has chips, she baked little pastries and cookies, and she ordered your favourite takeout

- you guys just watch whatever you want on netflix or whatever and its such a nice night

- it becomes a tradition for you guys, but you two always take turns with setup

- one year sasha did all of the planning, baking and whatnot ? okay now its your turn 😁👍

- you guys even started doing themes now 🤩

- if you guys play board games with your friends youre on sasha's side whether you want to be or not.

- shes also the kind of person that says "i can win fair and square !" but then when bertholdt starts kicking her ass in monopoly her script changes real quick 🙄

- now its "y/n,,, give me some of ur money" and "y/n, buy this property for me" like girl,,,, what happened to playing fair 😍⁉️

- will try and do all of those s/o pranks you see on tiktok

- its hard to get a genuine reaction out of you bc you can TELL SHES RECORDING but she tries anyways

- we love a perservering queen 😌✨

- will call you at random times of the day asking if you guys can see each other

- "y/n ??? are you there ??" "sasha its 2am wtf do you want 😐" "do you wanna ride your bike with me down to the park 🥺"

- also is very observant, knows when youre overworking yourself

- will try and pull you away from what youre working on like "lets go get you something to drink, or maybe we can watch an episode of that show you like before you continue working !"

- if youre persistent that you just HAVE to finish it tonight and cant stop and take a break she'll respect that, until you stay at your laptop for over an hour 😐

- just softly pulls you away like "no lovebug, lets get some sleep okay ?"

- is also very protective of you

- overheard someone making fun of you ?? talking shit ??? her besties better hold her back before she gets suspended 😤‼️

- and since connie and jean absolutely ADORE you, you better believe theyre helping their girl sasha out

- those three are the LEADERS of the "protect y/n club"

- it just becomes niccolo and marco trying to dissolve the situation before it gets physical, and then reiner and armin joining when they walk directly into the chaos

- armin tells you what happened and as much as youre thankful that sasha cares about you so much that she'd defend you like that, you lecture her, jean and connie on not making scenes like that again

- sasha's love language is kind of like,, a mixture of quality time and physical touch

- she just really loves spending time with you, but also very much enjoys being in your arms

- she doesnt shy away from it, and is usually the one to initiate those things

- will hold your hand PROUDLY down hallways or on streets

- always hypes you up too, shes very much so your personal hypeman

- "oh lovebug you look SO GOOD rn oh my god" "sasha pls im in my pyjamas" "and you look like a model baby !"

- sasha is very stubborn however, and if you guys ever fight she is NEVER the one to apologize first, or seek you out to talk about it

- even if shes in the wrong she cant bring herself to admit it, she dug herself into such a deep hole with the stance she took that she doesnt want to take the walk of shame in admitting that she wasnt right

- this can cause a lot of problems in your relationship, but after you explain how much it affects you, shes trying to change

- will always work on her stubborn-ness and pride

- and it actually makes her feel a lot better being able to admit defeat, or being wrong

- she really likes being communicative and honest, especially with you

- i think overall your relationship with sasha is very very fun, filled with good memories, good food, good friends, and most importantly, love.

no bc i really do love her 😐🤚 lemme marry miss braus rq 😏✨

hope u guys enjoyed !! remember requests are open so if you have anything youd like me to write DONT BE SHY ❤️‼️