#theres a lot of 'i dont remember the pain level or the area '

[angelpuns]

Body hurts and brain 2 fuzzy to draw so y'all know what that means ( go to bed early time)

[rakishhellion]

i just got all the achievements on neo twewy after weeks and heres some stuff i learned (no spoilers btw)

lets see

the one for being a frequent customer you get when that repeat option shows up on their menu

at tokyu hands you can trade 2 gem pins for another one, the pairs are rare metal and tektite, adamantite and orichalcum, and shadow and dark matter scarletite is an ultimate drop only

if you want to grind stats:

style - 300 cap (you only need 222) - air in a can (vegelovers - tower records)

attack - 500 cap - that spicy black ramen i forgot the name (suzu slurps - dogenzaka)

hp and defense - 999 and 500 cap respectively - tuna head (sby bbq - tipsy tose hall)

scramble slam sucks but heres how you get the rewards:

put the game on ultimate and reduce your level, you get more points this way

the way you get points is by doing beatdrop combos which means you need a lot of enemies that last

also theres a multiplier that goes up by 0,4x everytime you do a combo in battle up to a max 5x, save the enemy with the 3x until you max the multiplier

make the biggest chain you can with JUST ONE slam noise, thats enough to make the whole chain track points, also you can do chain battles with rival players too just let the noise get you then walk up to the player, once youre done, leave the area then come back so the noise respawn

anyways, equip the basic shockwave and force rounds pins so you slowly kill enemies, equip the rest of your party members with pins you want to grind just make sure they dont have x or y inputs

start attacking with shockwave, once the beatdrop circle shows up switch to force rounds only when its past half (delaying a pin gives it a bit of time to regen, enough to give you one extra full use), repeat the process with force rounds, you can make the most of the pins this way, its like, 5 uses of shock and 4 of rounds, a lot of combos

youre gonna make a fuckton of points this BUT chains are gonna be LONG AS FUCK, 40 minutes up to an hour, be warned

second slam is going to be a massive pain in the ass it took me 8 chains to do it (would be less if i remembered to reduce level)

theres a limited amount of the ion trade pins, theres a few you can miss, look it on gamefaqs i dont remember them, youre gonna need all of them for all the pins and threads

you cant get all the fp you need to complete the network by just doing quests and gold dives on regular days, youre gonna need some extra 15 points you get from a LONG dive in another day, its 10 rounds long and kinda hard, the last round is the worst, its two angry bears and a t rex noise (also angry) save a killer remix for this round, the t rex deals a fuckton of damage and if it eats one party member you wont survive the roar that comes next, watch out

hog healer and affinity weaknesses are your best friends for tough fights remember this

for the love of god grind pp on easy on another day, difficulty doesnt change the pp you get (i think the same applies to xp)

the noisepedia completion gives you a graffiti when you hit 80% but youre gonna need 100% for it to count on the save file complete percentage

ive seen ultimate shibuya hikarie w3d5 and ultimate cat street another day be recommended for money grinding but for the most part i disagree (bc i died often, you need high drop rates for these methods)

the way i do it is ultimate o-east w1d5, the chains last less than a minute and only give like 180 to 200 thousand yen, a lot less than the other methods but the short chains make up for it, this method is also good for grinding food (you do need to take the longest route for the tuna heads which can be infuriating considering the load times)

most secret reports are unlocked by defearting boss noise, 3 of them unlock by network completion, the last one only when you get all others, also boss noise respawn if you come back to the area so you dont have to redo the day like in og twewy

its safer to increase drop rate by threads than decreasing level remember that for annoying fights dont worry most abilities arent that good anyway (I NEVER GOT THAT ONE THAT SAVES YOU FROM A FATAL ATTACK TO WORK FUCK THIS GAME)

plague noise only show up on story fights so you cant chain them, go in with high drop rates, you fight almost all of them in quick succession in the day you have to go after that guy, w3d6 i think?

the last boss is the only boss noise you cant chain also for some reason you can soundsurf when it starts throwing balls at you, use that to get groove

for the superboss on another day i recommend using hog healer (to heal), fang defender (to protect yourself from its HIGHLY damaging dash attack wich you can also dodge, but i found it harder and using this pin fully heals you if you get it right), and a lot of pins you can use at once in an all out attack, if one party member gets attacked the other ones will keep going, i recommend using darkness pins since they can stun and pins with easy beatdrop conditions, use killer remixes only when the armor is up, most of the fight is dodging

just do the time trial on easy no one cares anyway

for the remind graffiti theres like one or two you can miss, again, look it up on gamefaqs bc i forgor💀

you dont need to get 100% drop for the worst fights, thats what killer remix is for, 75% is fine, its worse to make a long ass chain than it is to just do another fight

i need to explain how the killer remix drop rates work so heres how:

YOU DONT GET 0,5x PER PARTY MEMBER

thats why youre probably wondering why it isnt always 3x

the way it works is that you get a 0,5 per pin that has that little ready above it (thats what its for, i always wondered that) to get that ready you need to use that pin in a beatdrop combo either as the one that starts or the one that ends it

synergy abilities apply for the whole party strangely enough

theres a thread that gives you more time with pig noise, anyway brute forcing with killer remixes usually work no matter what

shiba is a toxic bottom

anyway thats all

as for what i think abt the game now that im DONE with it, love it honestly, and despite the fact it didnt meet sales expectations i think, im still hopeful for it, twewy survived bc it was so beloved by the devs i guess so theres that, also imagine if next games were on other cities famous for their urban culture that would be so fashion like

[likeadog]

if you dont mind me elaborating a little more like

in terms of things similar to this but regarding judaism, i remember as a kid asking my grandparents what the word "gentile" meant and being told that it meant people who weren't mormon, (or something along those lines), because theres this mormon agenda to try and claim jewish history as people of the promised land as actually being their own. this is also how you get things like the 10 tribes and patriarch blessing shit

and this intense desire to reaffirm the mormon doctrine as one with tangible bloodlines (genealogy obsession) and history before the 1860s (baptisms of the dead, appropriation, etc) is one that isnt unique to mormonism or american whiteness as a whole. its the same thing that encouraged victorian - era race science (especially with them seeing themselves as descendants of rome) and that continues to propagate to this day. that being said, mormonism is fundamentally tied to this in every level.

and like, growing up mormon, you have a very loose grasp on history and reality. there are a lot of things ive only learned after leaving the church that in hindsight feel like they shouldve been obvious, because you get discouraged from seeking out outside information and they will gaslight you about what they said last week and so on. so i understand that a lot of younger mormons may not be familiar with past doctrine regarding race in the church-- but if anything, that means there's even less of an excuse to not learn once you leave. if you're going to do any fundamental de-programming from the church, it should start on a level like "hey, whats with the paintings in the chapel of native americans as savages who were cursed to be primitive unlike their paler counterparts who are actually secretly the descendants of the jews we also claim to be descendants of", because learning the basic stories of the book of mormon is something you ARE exposed to, even if you don't know about past mandates or proclamations or whatever.

and as gay/trans white exmos, its very easy, as a function of that whiteness, to start the journey when pulling away from the church being focused on how it hurt you as an individual. the individual pain and trauma is still very real. but it doesnt end there, either. white supremacy cults like this function in a circle where everyone is both victim and perpetrator, and re-examining the harm we've done or can do is vital in making any meaningful exit from the mormon mindset.

and admittedly, yeah, a lot of the stuff when you say it aloud may sound ridiculous, or like, too insane to be true, or like "nobody would actually think that" but they do, we DID, and it is being used to this day to continue mormonism as a colonial project. missions are yes, used to maintain cult membership and beat the curiosity out of young mormons, but there's no denying that it also serves to pad the cult population by bringing in underprivileged groups especially in countries already exploited by colonialism. and there is something very real about how the fact that the church offers so many social and charity services then means in turn that you have to rely on the church FOR those necessary services, especially for people of color who may live in areas that are food deserts or otherwise have been destroyed by western expansion. again, it may not have been personally, individually traumatizing for us, but it is vital to understand that the positive memories we made with activities about "sharing the gospel in different languages" may have been preparing us to do more harm to other people.

and padding church membership isnt just a spiritual thing. theres a very real financial aspect to it. mormons are expected to pay 10% tithing on all income to the church. if you can make an entire area of poor pacific islanders entirely dependent on what the church provides, you are now leeching off the income of an entire community. leaving as an individual isnt enough to absolve ourselves of having to learn about & acknowledge how that played fundamental roles in shaping our lives and how similar ideologies continue to shape our lives as (in my case) white americans just in different clothing.

sorry i didnt mean for this to be a whole essay i just have a lot of thoughts on the subject.

ex mormons be like "teehee im trans and gay now! 🥰" great! are you gonna talk about the white supremacist rhetoric you internalized? no? hm.

[youarerageandserenity]

Borderlands Foam Wig Tutorial (Tyreen)

I was chatting with the lovely @void-noises-exe​ and it eventually circled around to offering to make a wig tutorial because you don’t see too terribly many, just thought I’d throw mine out ( especially because It was next to impossible to find good references of a foam version of Ty’s hair.) So this will be for foam wigs in general but Tyreen’s hair specifically (with a few pics of my Fiona wig from tales as well because they better accentuate my points) I didn’t plan on making this so I am missing a few pictures that might be helpful but here we go. This will not be short.

Supplies: 

-Craft foam (ideally, in small and XL sheets, but you can make do with whatever size you have available) 

- Spray paint as close to the BASE color of the wig you need (for Ty I used white, for Fiona a medium brown) ideally in a matte. 

- a FUCKLOAD of paints (i use cheap acrylics from the craft store ) in Black, and then several shades of the colors in the hair. (For Fiona i used i think four browns? Tyreens shaved sides have three browns, and the top had an additional yellow-brown i mixed) try to vary them in darkness levels to add depth.

- multiple paint brushes. I like to use around four or five of varying sizes and hardness levels.

- plenty Hot glue, and a hot glue gun (note: you COULD use other typres of adhesive, I like hot glue because its got great hold on foam, it sets FAST and worst case scenario I can take a hair dryer to it and melt it again if I need something to be undone.)

- scissors

- duct tape

-plastic wrap

-sharpie

-wig head

-Plenty of reference images

(optional supplies include a rotary cutter and or exacto-knife [trust me, itll make your life so much easier] ,  and patience. )

SO to start

1) Put your hair in a wig cap or however you plan on wearing it under your wig. Wrap your whole hair bit of your head in plastic wrap. Make sure you get over your ears and the baby hairs on your neck if you want to keep them. 

2) Wrap all the plastic covered bits in duct tape. This is easier for a friend to do on you, but not impossible to do alone, just make sure to get it all. It should be snug. Make sure you get as far down the back of your neck and down your sideburn area as you can. (Most characters have a bit of fringe hanging down in the back so its not the BIGGEST concern for them, but Ty’s got nada so you’re gonna want some good coverage for your hair line.) 

3) Take your sharpie and draw an outline of where your ear is, and along the hairline you’d like your wig to have. For short haired characters you dont want to cut too far behind the ear or your hair will peek out, so I like to underestimate how big my ear is and adjust as needed later. Dont make your wig hairline too high either, particularly if you’re making a wig for a character who has no fringe in the front. 

4) Take that bad boy off and cut along your outlines. Try it on again, adjust lines as needed. rinse and repeat. 

5) once you reach a semi-accurate mold of your head, you’re gonna wanna take it off and cut AT LEAST 4 (front, back, and both sides (I like to do 8, it will lay flatter) sections,coming to a point at the crown of your head. It should come out looking something like this. NOTE : they’re all still connected in the middle. If you’re doing 8, cut each of these 4 in half. )

6) Lay out your foam beneath this. If you dont have a piece of foam big enough to trace this bad boy onto, what I do is literally just break out the hot glue gun a bit early, glue a couple pieces together along the edges, until i get a nice big connected surface. Trace this guy on there as accurately as you can, cut it out, and then glue all your sides together. Now you should have a foam version of your duct tape hat. 

(Dont worry if the sides wont stay down, if you’re doing a character like Ty where thats an issue, we’ll get to that part later. ) 

7) (Optional but VERY helpful) Grab your wig head, and your duct tape head. Tape the duct tape back together and put something in it to make it hold shape, I use poly-fil. Tape the head-form to the wig head, and put your little foam cap on top of that. 

8)  Time to get creative. You’re gonna want to start from the bottom layers first. For Tyreen that’s the long fringe and her undercut. The strategy I decided on was to take a few large rectangular strips of foam, and lay them out everywhere I wanted the undercut to be and cut along the edges to match the hairline. I don’t have a picture of this exact point in the process but I have one from the beginning of the next step. Really the only thing to note at this point is obviously, your head is round and rectangles are not, for the curves where it sticks up along the edges, cut down where it sticks up in a little triangle and hot glue the ends together (you can sort of see this at the top left in the picture below). Dont worry about seams at this point, we’ll hide them later. 

9) This was not the case for Fiona who has very flat hair ( especially because of her hat) but Tyreen has a lot of volume especially towards the front of her head. For hair pieces that need volume, such as the ones that are glued down here, cut two of the exact same foam piece (i like to do them in little waves like the side, but also just a little arch is good for volume without flips such as the front piece) and glue the matching edges together. Make sure the hair triangle is facing the way youd like it to! Then Flatten out the top as much as you can, the bottom will keep the volume and the top ill be able to be covered by “2D” hair pieces. 

(NOTE: Honestly, it’s REALLY difficult to end up with an exact copy of cannon, and I ALLLLWAYS get carried away with the spikes. In the end, go by your reference images, but also follow your heart. Cosplay is half about having fun creating. )

10) Once youve started gluing, make sure to keep in mind where your part is (if you have one). For Fiona i didn’t trust myself so I glued in the hair at the part BEFORE anything, and left them ready to be glued down while I worked my way up to them. 

NOTE: All the hair at the parts of BOTH wigs is a single piece of foam.You want a nice wide base whenever possible to cover up the seams of all of the other edges of the hair. For your part, Carefully glue along the very end of your strip of foam and stick it down. It will be the last piece to be glueddown on top of everything else to make it look nice and clean. 

11) Slowly start working your way around the head, gluing down first anything that will need to be covered (3D pieces and bottom pieces) before getting towards the top where youll need to be more strategic about what is going down and what can cover your edges. I’d definitely recommend mixing 2D and 3D pieces if that’s something you want to experiment with, otherwise, such as in the pic below, it is possible to get volume from a 2D piece, simply by gluing it in a way where it wont lie flat against the head. 

12) in the picture above you can also catch a glimpse of Ty’s cow lick. Those are done exactly the same as our 3D pieces from before, only you trace the edges of the open end, and should end up with a triangular third side to be glued in, then just glue along the edges just like the hair part. 

13) Dont feel you have to overdo how many pieces the hair has, remember you may also paint in pieces and designs when it comes to the line-art! 

14) Once you’ve added everything from the bottom that you’d like to, go ahead and glue down your hair-part. 

15) So, obviously, I wasn’t a big fan of Tyreen’s undercut just being flat foam across half my head. So I took an exacto to it for what felt like years. REALLY over-do it on the edges, it’ll get rid of that harsh foam line and give it a little more of a natural blend. Also pay special attention to all of your seams in the foam. The more distressing there is there, the less youll be able to spot lines later. 

16) So once you have the overall structure of your wig and you’re thinking you might be happy with this, its spray paint time. (I’d recommend disposable gloves for this, you’re gonna need to maneuver it every which way to get the pain in every cranny and that paint does NOT like to come off easy.)  Theres really not much advice I can offer on it, just be patient, and do a couple layers, spray it from every angle and let it dry completely before moving on to the next step unless youre as impatient as I am and dont mind ruining a few paintbrushes. 

17) So, like the Fiona pic a few back or this one here, you should have a fairly flat evenly painted foam sculpture. Now is around the time you might start seeing all the inaccuracies in what you’ve made. You gotta push past that it’ll look great I promise. Time to get really creative. 

18) for Ty I started by painting the buzzed bits in a base brown, and started in on the line art and her roots while i waited for it to dry before going in with two more colors of brown for depth. 

19) For her roots I ended up using three colors. Black at the very bottom (which blends into the line art) a dark brown that matches more or less the buzz, and then after the fact, a custom yellowed-brown to blend better into the white and give us a little more texture. For this and the rest of the cel-shading in the hair, dab your brush before painting and try to mostly stick to light strokes in one direction (OR: if you have one, a particularly hard bristled paint brush does wonders for this) you don’t want the ends of your strokes to be too defined. 

20) Outline the edges of the hair and all prominent pieces, particularly the hot-glue seams, itll make them less noticable. (dont forget the little animation squiggles for Ty’s sides) and beyond that-- honestly, black out to your hearts content. These pics are from when I thought I’d finished. I really felt I’d over detailed. The next day I looked at a picture and realized there is always WAY more texture and outlining than I feel like I see. Honestly, you cant really over-do it, especially with fine solid black lines. 

21) The next day I came back at it with the yellowed-brown and LOTS more solid black lines. (Currently in the process of taming down where I got too excessive with the spikes on the side) 

22) Once it’s all dried, time to try on. Here’s where we address if you have a short haired character, and the edges of your wig just wont stay down -- invest in a little theatrical grade spirit gum. It’s not too terribly expensive, and unfortunately, I tried the cheaper halloween makeup kind, and it just wont hold how you need it too (and please for my sake, also make sure you get spirit gum remover) I took some hair gel (you could also use elmers glue) just to glue up as much of my hair as I could on the sides and the back of my neck to keep them from the spirit gum, and dabbed it along all of the prominent edges of the wig (namely, side and back) wait for it to get a little tacky and stick that MF-er down good. 

Aaaaand Voila??? 

Let me know if I missed any steps? Its fairly simple, once you get going -- just time consuming. 

[nonasidesstuff]

the dimension travel au

aka Virgil’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

so this is like half bullet fic half outline half word vomit but here it is!

this is based on a set of art drawn by @greenninjagal-blog that you can find here with the original version of this au

i dont mind if anyone wants to use any of these ideas just tag me/send me a link if you do!

this got SUPER LONG so its going under a cut

ok lets start with

virgil

his world is medieval-with-magic

the magic here tends to take on different elemental forms depending on the user

people who use magic are called witches

his is storm based (lightning, rain, wind, etc) and is good for both offense (shooting fucking LIGHTNING at someone is great in a fight) and gardening (the ability to call rain at will is pretty nice)

he can also make potions but in his world ANYONE with magic can make potions

the thing is,,,,, magic is illegal in the kingdom he lives in

so when he found out he had magic at like age 11 he fucked off in the middle of the night

he found another witch (a water witch) fairly soon after he left and they taught him how to control his powers and how to make potions

also how to hunt bc hed planned on living out of cities

5 years later hes 16 and has learned all he could and leaves to go to the woods in the middle of nowhere

his teacher had told him about a cottage they had built in a clearing in the woods and said he could go there bc they were leaving the kingdom

they left behind a lot of books on magic and he learned more reading those

the cottage was actually in pretty good shape? the roof was a little leaky but the furniture inside was fine

the outside was a nightmare though. overgrown plants all over

as the years went on he restored the area around the cottage and found a bunch of neat stuff

like a vegetable garden that had been overgrown and wild but still had healthy plants he could cultivate for food. there were also some spice plants that had gone out of control that he harvested and dried for later use

he found out the woods around his home were full of berries (wild strawberries and blackberries. shhhhhh idc if they dont grow in the same places this is a Magic World) and discovered that one of the trees in the clearing was actually an apple tree so yay fruit!!!!

so he was living the good life

cut to 3 years later

hes 19 now and a full-blown weather witch and potion maker

he has sectioned off his garden into 3 parts: spices, vegetables, and potions ingredients

unfortunately some ingredients just wont grow well in a garden and have to be harvested from the wild

virgil realizes hes running low on a couple of said ingredients and decides to make a run to the patches of potion herbs he knows of

he only gets halfway there

a swirling blue-and-yellow vortex opens up 20 feet in the air to the right of him and something falls out

something human shaped

holy shit its a PERSON

he rushes over to make sure this person is okay and.

they have reddish brown fox ears?????

and a reddish brown and grey tail????????

he pokes one of the ears and it twitches

holy shit theyre REAL????!!!!!!!!!

he gathers up this person and takes them home

he puts the strange person in his bed and tends to the minor injuries they obtained from falling 20 feet

this is when he realizes that this person is dressed,,,,,, very strangely

now, people in virgil’s world have some freedom in what they can wear. they can wear whatever the FUCK they want. virgil is partial to dresses and skirts himself

but what this person is wearing is different. the material was like nothing hed ever seen before and in a strange style

(it suits him. its really cute)

he slept for a little over 9 hours

(virgil slept on the floor)

and when he woke he was disoriented and woozy

so he ate a small meal and drank some water and fell back to sleep for another couple hours

when he wakes again, he feels much better and is able to introduce himself

“I’m Patton Baker! Where am I?”

patton

his world is like if you took every single magical girl/boy anime out there and mashed it into one world.

so its chaotic

theres aliens/demons/monsters attacking every other week

this attracts magical creatures like a magnet and they start giving magical girls/boys powers. these are called magical guardians

these people are public figures and are treated the same way idols are in our world (not allowed boyfriends/girlfriends etc)

its a tough job

patton became a magical boy when he was 14 and has been for the past 3 years

the powers his magical guardian are able to give are based off of endangered or threatened animals (yes im sort of copying tokyo mew mew shhhhhhhhhh)

patton became infused with the dna of the island fox

his transformation is triggered by a small tattoo-like marking given to him by his guardian. it’s on the base of his neck

he Absolutely has a magical girl transformation

when he’s transformed, he has the ears and tail of an island fox as well as claw-like nails. his hair is the reddish-brown of the fox and his eyes are silver

his outfit is light blue with silver and white accents and dark blue sleeves

when detransformed he has blond hair and blue eyes

his magical boy weapon is a bow that he can shoot arrows of light from

his group was based out of florida and has been going strong for about 15 years. magical teens come and go as they gain their powers and retire or, tragically, lose their lives fighting

at the moment there are six people including patton

their most recent foe is a monster that has the ability to make people and things disappear, and they’re not sure what happens to them

theyre fighting this thing at night when it happens. the creature has already taken the streetlights out and the teens are fighting in heavy darkness. patton, who has better night vision due to his fox genes, sees the monster about to grab the leader, and strongest, of their group

and he makes a choice

he pushes her out of the way and gets grabbed by the monster instead.

there’s a single moment of searing pain and then the world dissolves into swirling lights and dizziness

when he wakes he’s in a strange house. he introduces himself and the person who’s taking care of him introduces himself

he’s told he fell out of some sort of portal and virgil tries to help him figure out where he is in relation to his home but. virgil doesnt recognize any of the places patton is talking about. and patton doesnt recognize any of the ones virgil says

virgil asks patton about the fact that He Is Part Fox and patton talks about the magical system back home and thats when they realize theyre dealing with dimension travel

patton stays in bed for the rest of the day and by the next hes feeling much better! so he helps virgil around the house and they get to know each other

the day after that, virgil remembers that he really needs those herbs, so he tells pat hes going out for a bit to gather them

he gets about a quarter of the way there when Another Portal Opens and dumps out a person. this time right in front of him

this person is also wearing odd

clothing, but in a different style than pattons

he checks to make sure theyre not injured (they knocked their head a bit but other than that seem fine) and carries them back home

the person is unconscious in virgil’s bed for a couple of hours longer than patton was, but he wakes up entirely coherent

he introduces himself as “logan croft”

logan

his world is one full of magic

magical creatures of all sorts live there and magic is a welcome part of society

there’s elves, fairies, merfolk, unicorns, any you can think of

magical schools are also big parts of it

people who have mastered their magic to the highest degree are called mages

everyone else are called wizards

the way magic works in this world is with spells (think harry potter but without wands)

some people are born with more magic than others and as such have a harder time controlling it when it manifests at around 10

so theyre sent to magic schools where they learn how to safely do so

if they want to stay at these schools after they learn control then they move on to higher forms of magical education to continue learning

logan is one of these students

he was born with a MASSIVE amount of magic and when it manifested he. accidentally leveled his house

everyone was fine!!!!!!! but the poor boy had absolutely no control

so he stayed at a school for people with high amounts of magic and by the time he was 13 he had enough control to leave if he wanted to

of course this being logan he Absolutely wanted to keep learning so he moved on

he was so good actually that he ended up in the best magic academy in the world

he consistently learned magic at a faster rate than his peers and so by the time he was 18 (people normally didnt until they were like 21/22) he was a mage in all but name

so he was ready to take his mage exam

the mage exam is considered both easy and the hardest and most dangerous thing you could do

its easy in the fact that you only have to cast a spell correctly

its hard and dangerous bc its a spell that NO ONE outside of historians have ever seen before and you only have 10 minutes to memorize it. things go wrong Frequently

needless to say there arent many mages and people tend to either quit before reaching that stage or fail

and failure can be painful

so logan decides to take the mage exam

the spell they are given is a long string of words dug out of an ancient book of spells and historians arent entirely sure what it does

so ofc its given to the best in the academy

logan takes his ten minutes to memorize the spell and begins chanting

now in this world, when spells are used a runic circle made of light appears under the person casting

small spells have small circles and bigger spells have larger and brighter ones

the one this spell called forwards was massive and so bright that it blinded the exam practitioners (i think thats the word?)

when the light died down logan was gone

theyre unsure whether it went right or wrong but unfortunately theres no trace of where logan had gone so theres no way to see

when he wakes hes somewhere he doesnt recognize and is being taken care of by two people

they all introduce themselves and logan gets the story about what happened to him

and he realizes hes in a different dimension with different magical rules

naturally he wants to learn everything

so he and virgil have long discussions about the differences in their magic systems

(with patton chiming in every once in a while with how bonkers magical girl powers are)

after logan gets back on his feet virgil really REALLY needs those herbs and so he decides to go back out

logan tags along this time bc he wants to see the differences between the flora and fauna of this new world

they get about half way there and once again.

a portal opens

its light blue and yellow

virgil goes “jesus christ AGAIN??????? am i a MAGNET for these things??????????”

and a person falls out

theyre another animal person. this time with scales covering the side of their face and down their arms

virgil and logan carry this whole other person back home and as soon as they walk in

patton is like “janus????!!!!!”

janus

turns out

janus is from pat’s world!!!! and the same mg group!!!!!

he became a magical boy about a year before pat did and was merged with the dna of a golden lancehead viper

so hes been a mg for like 4 years

his outfit is white with yellow bows and a black cape thing with a yellow inside. his scales are bright yellow and his eyes are heterochromatic. one is a normal eye (brown) and the other is a bright gold color with a snake-like pupil

his marking is on the inside of his left wrist

his weapon is a set of knives made of light that he can call at will and either slash with or throw

he and patton got along rather well in the current time

in the past, they,,,, didnt

it wasnt violent but they were kinda snippy at each other and janus was aggressively sarcastic which pat Did Not Appreciate

but after working together for a few years they got to know each other better and saw each other through low points in their lives and became close

janus was still a sarcastic little shit but now its more playful

he likes to suggest “pushing it down a flight of stairs” for any problem

“man i have a big math test tomorrow with a mean teacher that i didnt study for im screwed”

“push it down the stairs”

“the teacher or the test?”

“yes”

he will also aggressively remind you that Self Care Is Good And Needed

(“patton youve been patrolling for hours every night this week. go sleep”

“but i-“

“go 👏 to 👏 sleep 👏”

“bu-“

“go sleep or im going to knock you unconscious and THEN youll sleep”

“ok fine”)

anyways the dimension monster came back and despite the whole group being more careful, it got janus

luckily (to every one else) this time they managed to defeat it

once again, the pain of dimensional travel fucking SUCKED and janus was unconscious for about as long as patton was

he woke and ate a small meal and fell back asleep for like an hour

when he woke up that time he was shocked and happy to see patton

they reunite and everyone gets to know each other over the next couple days

and then virgil remembers that he STILL HASNT GOTTEN HIS HERBS and they all decide to tag along when he leaves to get them

virgil just like sighs and said “nothing better happen this time i swear to god-“

and they make it most of the way there!!!!! virgil feels a little hope!!!!

then another portal opens

its red and green

(virgil: “GODDAMMIT”)

this time TWO people fall out

the group gather up the two portal people and take them home to heal bc

holy shit they are in bad condition

theyre unconscious for a solid 2 days

Roman and remus

their world is BAD yall

the world is very scientifically advanced, and a group if scientists decided that they wanted to prove the existence of alternate universes

and they did!

but they accidentally opened a portal to a hell dimension and they couldnt close it

so the whole world became an apocalyptic nightmare

this happened when the twins were 15

theyve been surviving on their own in an apocalyptic hellscape for just over 4 years now

remus is the close range fighter with a variety of Large Sharp Knives and roman hangs back and snipes the ones going in for remus’ blind spots with a modified rifle. or if he has to fight closer range he has a modified pistol

roman also is the one to carry their medical supplies bc remus did Once and never will again

they travel together bc even though they cant stand each other some days (remus makes gross comments a Lot and roman likes to complain about the lack of conditioner)

(roman once found an old bottle of perfume and dumped it on remus’ head. in retaliation, when they were relatively safe remus found a dead squirrel and chased roman around with it for a solid 15 minutes)

theyre still twins and theyre all each other have left

currently, roman and remus are running from a creature that caught them off guard while they were sleeping

it had managed to get a few good hits on them before they managed to fight back so they both have a couple injuries

roman has a long slice down his arm and remus has some real bad claw marks down his back

the two of them find a building they can hide in while they wait for the creature to move on and discover that its some sort of science lab

they decide to explore for a bit bc they have 0 braincells between the two of them

what they dont realize is that this is one of the labs that the scientists were using to build their dimensional machines

what they do realize is that the monster found them and it starts chasing them through the facility

the two of them are in really bad shape

malnourished after living on just what they can find for 4 years, both bleeding profusely from open wounds and various injuries from other run-ins with the creatures

they arent able to run as fast as they usually are able and so they get cornered in a room with a large machine

they back up to it to stay away as long as they can and

one of them presses a button

the machine behind them whirrs to life and the two are sucked into a portal oh so similar to the one that ruined the lives of everyone on their world

roman wakes first

he wasnt hurt as badly as remus so the portal didnt take as much out of him as remus

everyone introduces themselves and roman has the his first full meal in. a long time

(he might cry a lil bit but shhhhhhh)

and now that hes awake, virgil can give him a potion to help speed up his healing

thats when romans like “holy shit MAGIC?????”

bc there was none on his world

and they all talk and get to know each other

(the other four are Horrified at how awful his world was

bc like, patton and janus’ wasnt very good either but it wasnt an apocalypse

the next day virgil leaves logan in charge and FINALLY goes and gets his GODDAMN HERBS

nothing happens this time :)

and when he gets back remus is awake

hes fed and virgil gets him a potion too

the two heal and just kind of marvel at the fact theyre safe for the first time in years

also that theres GODDAMN MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!

they still can’t believe theres actual magic

the five dimension hoppers eventually meet thomas, virgil’s talking magic cat

(virgil: “he can think and talk like a human hes not my cat”

thomas: “im totally your cat stop denying it”)

he decided to wander around the forest for a while (he does this often) and only got back after all of the portal shit ended

he is the only cat with magic and says he ALSO fell out of a portal but it was a few years before he met virgil

i dont really know what happens after this

maybe they go try to figure out how to get home?

maybe they decide to stay and live in the woods for the rest of their lives

 maybe they decide “you know what? FUCK the government” and stage a coup to make magic legal

 whichever it is definitely has a lot of found family goodness

can you tell i started running out of steam like 3/4 of the way through

[mellohyi]

wooowowowoo i miss summer camp so much

like this is my second year without going and as much as it sucked i loved it

there is a large rant about the place and like every single living detail i remember about it under the cut (is that the right phrase to use for this idk)

like the big field with the train tracks next to it and the beehives on one edge. i miss throwing a frisbee for my few friends there and laughing when i would get it stuck in a tree or they would throw it and it would go so far away. and i miss jumping on the trampoline and getting so pissed off (jokingly) at the dudes spending like 10 decades on it and because i was the only british person there they would be somewhat scared of me? so i would literally stare at them somewhat angrily and with my shitty latvian accent complain about how long they are taking and they would get off LMAO it only worked on the dudes younger than me but it worked... and the basketball on the small court !!! :D im not good at like,, throwing ball type games tbh? but like this court was magical because like 9/10 i would actually get it in and score a point and i loved how,, rapid (?) the games were like if you failed to get it in at a certain point you would be out and you had to get it in to stay in the game !!

and i remember the lake!!! it had a lot of those thingies.. oysters? idk i googled it and thats what they looked like. i can still remember the feeling of them and they were sharp LMAO and there was a zipline thing you could go on and it would take you to the middle of the lake and you could jump into it from there. and there was a game we played where we would be in two teams and then we would send a person down the zipline and if they fell in we would all have to do i think 10? pushups and it was fun cheering on people from the small platforms next to the zipline !! and we used to build a sorta dodgy looking sauna using some planks of wood and a big blue tarp that was held down by some rocks and we would collect sticks to make a fire with and then we would go sit in it and just talk and chill in the sauna. not everyone wanted to go, understandably considering iirc i put it off the first year i went but then tried it the next and loved it, so there was enough room for all of us to comfortable sit and even lie down on the log benches !! and we even had like,, bay leaf sticks with the leaves on it and stuff and we would dunk them into a bucket of water and then gently hit someone who was lying down as a like,,, relaxation thing? and it was so nice and it smelt SO GOOD it smelt like wood and grass and nature and it was sweet in a savoury way and i miss the smell so much just thinking about it. like you could literally smell the bay leaves because of the water evaporating after you take it out the bucket. and the hot air was so much harder to breathe when you stood up and it felt thicker and the air lower to the ground was cool so when you found it hard to breathe you would basically stick your head onto the grass to get a bit of cool and it felt so good !! and we would take breaks to drink water and pour cold water on ourselves or we would go into the lake though the last time i went a lot of the lake had dried up D: but its okay because i still have good memories with the lake when it wasnt like that. once during the sauna we went in the lake after and the sky was so clear like i could see all the stars and i could see the big dipper and it was just so beautiful. i even used the zipline to get into the lake that time as well and it was just so magical. i was kinda like,, sleepy (?) so i kinda was just not fully there so it was like so much cooler because i didnt feel real during it and it was just amazing.

omg and the activities we would do. we went on a hike in a forest and it was SO COOL like we would have to go climb up the steep hill that separated the field area and the train tracks and we would literally go onto the train tracks and at the time there wasnt any trains so we got to literally touch the tracks and we would go into the forest and IT WAS SO COOL like the light came in at a perfect angle and it was so pretty and we would pick blueberries and aaaaaaaa it was so amazing !! and we would split up and walk to an area to play some games using the trees and it was amazing. and also we would just do sports games using the field but also we went BIKING!!!! they had so many bikes for the people who didnt bring their own and we would go on the bikes and cycle to some sand dunes literally like 5 minutes away from the place and climb up them and jump and stuff and we carved tic tac toe grids into the stable parts and played and it was so fun AND I LITERALLY SAW A LIZARD CLIMB UP ONE OF THE EDGES INTO THE GRASS LMAO and we also cycled to a lake

this one to be exact!! and we would jump off from the small pier thing and swim around back to the edge and it had sand and a slide and it was generally really fun cycling to and from there. i did cause multiple crashes with the bikes while cycling there LMAO mainly because my brain just tends to blow things out of proportion for no reason and like LMAO someone would start coming a bit closer to me and i would panic and stop and then everyone behind me would then have to immediately stop and they would crash into me.. like once i got my cousin to come with me and someone looked like they were gonna go behind my cousin who was in front of me and i panicked because i didnt want to be separated from her so i just stopped because i was panicking too much and everyone behind me crashed into me LMAO and they were all like 'bruuuuh' but anyways it was really fun cycling there because i went past the place my aunt on my mums side got married + the place my uncle on my dads side got married (no they did not marry each other it was separate weddings) !! a few times i didnt go cycling because i just didnt feel good and didnt want to go but it was okay in the end because i was all alone in the cabin and i would just sleep and draw while waiting for them to come back and they would flood in cycling down the small hill that leads to the field and has the bike area and i would just see them from the porch of the cabin and it was cool :D

mMmMmmmmmMMM and the food area !! we would usually sit inside the pizzeria (because the place was also a pizzeria more on that later) and it was fun because we had breakfast, lunch, dinner + a night snack thing (its called naksniņas) and like even though im usually the pickest eater at the camp and they had to make exceptions for me because we werent allowed dessert at lunch unless we ate all our food like i still got to eat a lot lol like there was usually something i could eat even if i couldnt eat all of it and the juice was so nice and ngl i kinda liked being on the like,,, duty of having to set up before the meals + clean up after because getting all the stuff and setting it up was just so peaceful and calm and i loved it and mmmmsmsmsmsmsm it was so cool and THE NIGHT SNACK THING WAS LITERALLY THE BEST it was practically dessert for dinner but right before bed + we would do an activity after dinner before it !! i talked to my dad and figured out the spelling of the word because im not that good at latvian atm and mmmm . also like we would have tea and it was so good !! we would also have a small snack like a biscuit or cereal bar and it was so nice good way to end the day :D

i also lost an entire waterbottle there dont ask how

the cabins were nice because i usually end up on the second floor level thing of it and theres a small window on it !! and a cool ladder to get up to it though its a pain when camp first starts + when it finishes because you have to pack everything up while trying to not hit your head on any of the beams or the slant of the cabin roof and you have to haul everything up and down... other than that its so fun because theres small holes (like,,, really small. cant fit a pen down it) and when the people in the two rooms below that cabin spot are being pisstaking you can pour water down it and they shut up LMAO its really funny because they see the water dripping and get more pissed off and then become less annoying and we used to slip them notes to tell them to shut up LMAO also listened into their convos to be annoying too

anyways to finish off with my favouritest things ever about it. last day we would make pizzas and your family would be there and you could make multiple pizzas ! i usually made one for my parents / family and then one for myself and my sister because we r really picky and dont like cheese . and it was so fun and the pizzas were SO GOOD and i share the other pizza thats not mine with my family because i hate cheese and they are happy too. i also love the one evening where we cook dinner ourselves i think thats the sauna night as well but omg its so nice we have dough balls to wrap around a stick and asduidfohih its so nice omg i love them so much right because we take the stick and then toast them over a fire and when you do them right its a tiny bit doughy on the inside but a safe amount and its like,, slightly crispy in a good way on the outside so amazing and like you can put stuff in it like cheese and ketchup and stuff but i just eat mine plain and they are so good mmmamMMm and we also have watermelon iirc and it was so good overall like best evening of the camp :)

anyways i love camp and i miss it

[notguiltylol-blog]

heres a big post for lifters that i hope may be helpful!

personal experiences of stores:

keep in mind, these may not all be accurate for every location! each location is likely different in some ways. try to scope out a store and figure out if its gonna be busy before you go to lift. most importantly, if you think you NEED to leave, then LEAVE. drop your items if necessary, keep your safety first.

all of these stores are places ive either lifted from several times or have done extensive research on and lifted from!

u/ta: cameras in most areas except haircare. usually at least three employees working, usually minding their own business but walking around. a lot of items (including lipkits, mini n@ked makeup palettes, hair dye, etc) are not tagged !!! somewhat easy as long as you body conceal well and dont get too greedy! i got five masks, one mini palette, one normal sized palette, one lipstick, a lipkit, and a few other items in one haul (all body concealed, not slipped in bags).

hot top!c: the one at my mall has only certain clothing tagged. no makeup tagged and no accessories tagged. they sometimes count your items for the dressing rooms. no cams so its easy to focus on simply hiding from the workers, also theres only at MOST two workers in smaller ones, maybe more in bigger ones. its pretty easy if its a smaller store.

rue 2 1 (if theres one near you): theres a bit of walking space between the entrance and the towers (if that makes sense) and i believe the towers may be fake. the underwear and accessories arent tagged, but bras and most clothes over about $15 are. most of the time they dont count clothes but you need an assiociate to open a room. its beginner level for lifters.

v s: they have big dome cameras and possibly hidden ones as well and watch out, the workers are on track. in the dressing room i accidentally ripped the paper tag (without even realizing) while concealing and before i even left the employee helping me said on her earpiece "we had a walkout for ____." they count items and have an associate usually in the dressing rooms, along with two other workers. there are some places to conceal however. id say v s is between easy and difficult, you probably need practice concealing on floor and not looking sus to associates because they pay a lot of attention.

wa/mart: now ive heard many mixed opinions. some say they wont fuck with walmart while walmart is easiest for others. lots of the workers at my walmart dont really care about their job, so theyre not constantly walking around and keeping a close eye on you. most items are not tagged. best concealing method in my opinion is to body conceal in blindspots and then detag in the bathrooms. blindspots i know of are the toy section, pet section, and some areas of the food section. do not fucking conceal in the beauty or pharmacy sections!!!! dont!!! my walmart is personally so easy, but one just twenty minutes away is really secure and ppl get caught all the time! the safest time to go is later in the night (if possible, after midnight as thats when lp leave i think).

b & bw: they have dome cams in one side of the store and the other side has many blindspots to conceal behind. i dont believe items are tagged but some might be!!! ive never had a tag on an item. theres only one or two workers but they are attentive. id say likely dont worry if they talk to you a bit, they are likely just doing your job. but if you feel genuinely anxious, drop and leave. can be easy or difficult depending on the workers and amount of customers

here are some things to remember when lifting:

-even if you dont think youre in view of a camera, some stores have hidden ones! some wa/marts do!

-at sephor@(?) and u/ta, and possibly other stores with expensive makeup, certain items, like the n@ked palettes, have the infamous white box. most recently i went to u/ta and picked up a n@ked palette to look at it (i somehow didnt know of the white boxes) and when i sat it down, it beeped!!!!! not too loudly, but it was definitely noticable! so be careful and probably dont lift things with the box..

-find blindspots!! this is obvious but make sure youre hidden from cameras AND people!! if you do end up being accused by lp, if theres no footage and you body concealed, they mostly find the customer innocent!

here are some of my favorite concealing methods:

(eventually ill post pics of these methods for yall)

-body concealing: my go to method! its the least risky in my opinion!! some ways ive body concealed is by wearing tight leggings under jeans (not baggy but not skinny), high waisted underwear (sort of like waist trainer undies), binders (helpful for my fellow masc presenting lifters!), and loose but stylish clothing.

if you wear a tight pair of leggings under jeans, it can hide undie lines if you wear more than one pair of them out and can also hide small item like jewelry, lipsticks etc.

high waisted undies/waist trainers are a blessing!! ive snatched things like big bottles of lotion, $50 palettes, hair dye, and clothing by concealing on floor then fixing any lumps in a dressing room!

binders are probably my last resort when im lifting. i am often wearing a binder when lifting, and there have been occasions in which ive had no way to conceal everything id like without stuffing the small items in (in a dressing room ofc). its painful for a bit, as binders are tight and compressing, but its worth it for the items! for this method you should definitely wear stylish dark looser clothing.

loose clothing is beneficial for body concealing many bigger items and making big hauls! the key to this is looking stylish! loose clothing can be sus to lp if its not the right weather and not fashionable.

ill make a part two of this soon if this post gets good feedback! part two will mention more methods, dos and donts, and more uncommon things that some lifters may not know!

[royz-yade]

Because so many people asked for a translation... but I can’t translate everything word by word (especially... staring at you, Subaru......) I made partly word-by-word and partly summery-translation.

This takes a lot of time >_< so please be patient for the other parts!

__

Royz History Vol. 01 (English Translation)

0.20 Royz’ Formation

Tomoya: “Kazuki and I have been in a band together and when we disbanded I talked to Kazuki and we decided to form a band that is focused on melodies.”

0.40 Koudai joins

Tomoya talks about how Koudai and a vocalist joined them and that Koudai decided on various things for example also on wanting to decide for a date for their first live and book that at a live house. But at that time something has happened between Kazuki and their vocalist, so the vocalist fired Kazuki. Tomoya: “And when we thought about what we shall do as three members, the vocalist backed out.” Koudai: “And we were like: Okay, we’re two now. There were only me and Tomoya left.” Tomoya: “We thought about what to do. There was only the rhythm-team left so how shall we give a concert like that? But since we’ve formed that band I also wanted to continue. We talked about it and decided that we want to keep on going with Royz. So we called Kazuki back!“ (You can see Kuina doing nothing but smoking a cigarette at 2.20 xD because he doesn’t have anything to say about that band period because he simply wasn’t there yet! xD)

 2.25 Subaru joins

Subaru explains how he talked to Koudai at Mixi and on the phone afterwards. Subaru tells him that there already is a member he promised to be in a band with. Tomoya (3.50): “Koudai told us that he found a good-looking vocalist at Mixi.” He says how cool it is that Koudai is a person who gets things done rather than just talk about it. Tomoya’s first impression of Subaru was really that he’s good-looking and therefore that he probably also is good at singing. “We wanted to hear him singing, so we went to Karaoke together. And I thought: “Well, it’s pretty normal!” (laughs)” Subaru’s first impression of Tomoya was that he was riding on his bike so often.

 4.30 Hoshi ni negai wo

Subaru: “I was so moved by it! I remember listening to it on the phone and wanted to record this song. […] There was no time for recording it at all. Between meeting the members and giving the first live there were two weeks.” Koudai explains that the first try of their recording was still fine and since they had no time at all to do it over again they decided that it would be the end product. Tomoya talks about how they burn it to CDs at home with to professional equipment. (Kuina still smoking at 6.00 … because he still wasn’t there yet.)

 6.05 First Live

Subaru already had a few Taiban before, so he wasn’t scared at all. Koudai says how Tomoya wanted to make the live only 100 Yen so more people would come. In the end about 5 or 6 people came for them. Tomoya: “Hoshi ni negai wo, no fate, kuroageha and koihanabi. We only had these four songs, so we HAD to play them.”

 7.30 Kuina joins

Tomoya and Kuina had been in a session band together of a label boss that sponsored a session band live. Kuina’s first wondered if Tomoya was really into Visual Kei because he didn’t show it openly. Tomoya: “When Kuina’s band had decided to disband he asked us if we don’t want another guitarist, since he knew about Royz. He told us he wanted to join. I talked to the other members about this guy wanting to join.” Subaru’s first impression of Kuina was that Kuina was really doing that Visual Kei Subaru wanted to do and that Kuina is one level ahead of him. He was glad when he heard about Kuina’s band disbanding [so he could join Royz]. Kuina says that his first impression of Subaru at a live was really strong. When Kuina saw Kazuki for the first time he wondered if Kazuki is a host because of his make up and hair make.

 10.20 haru no yoru no yume PV shooting

Tomoya: “It was quite all of a sudden. I had work that day. I did my part time job until the evening and then there was the shooting at Koudai’s university in Himeji. I went there by bike. It was really a lot of fun back then!” Subaru tells us how they got their make up close to Koudai’s house. Kuina was happy about it and that it felt like they were finally doing something [like, growing as a band and moving forward]. Koudai talks about how it took time and money to do the shooting but how happy he was when he could gold this first CD/DVD in his hands.

 11.50 pain

This part is about Subaru running away from home and living with Koudai in Osaka for a while. Koudai talks about how Subaru didn’t know anything at all about (band) life and stuff like that. That it was so hard that he wanted to quit Royz. Koudai was like: “What the hell is he talking about?!” but Subaru was explaining under tears to Koudai that he didn’t know what to do anymore. Koudai and Subaru talked a lot then and Subaru decided to try it once again. Koudai: “I was realy happy about that! But I also realized what a sensitive person Subaru is.”

Subaru explains actually again how he lived with Koudai. “We went to Shinsaibashi together because we had nothing to do. And spend time there together. It made me confident in talking to Koudai.“

 15.20 AREA

Koudai: “Holiday Osaka helped us a lot with that. They payed the cost for recording this CD.” Tomoya: “The other members did the recording while I was working.” Kuina: “My strongest memory of AREA is how we performed it once, before we even recorded it. And back then the vocal melody was different from what we wanted to record. Thinking about it now, we were stupid to do that! (laughs)”

Subaru and Koudai were working on this song with Koudai’s guitar in Koudai’s room. He remembers that it was the first time he properly did something like that. Koudai: “That was the first time we met with tatsuro [mix engineer] and this CD could be produced thanks to many people.” Here there’s the interview with tatsuro where he says he met them the first time in 2010 in Shinsaibashi when they all brought the instruments along.

 17.00 First tour

Tomoya talks about the small size of car they rent and how they had to fit in 5 Members + 1 Staff and all the luggage. And how he thinks they rent the wrong car because that wasn’t what they expected when Kazuki reserved it. The staff even had to sit on a very tiny front seat in the middle.

Koudai tells an episode on how the air con didn’t work properly and everyone in the front was freezing while everyone in the back was sweating.

 18.45 B.P.RECORDS

Tomoya: “The PV for haru no yoru no yume was a failure.” Subaru says how the staff of like an Edison Osaka introduced them to the one of B.P.RECORDS. Koudai says that they had to show them songs because Royz wanted to make B.P.R produce their next PV. The boss of B.P.R thought it’s good and talked to Takemasa from Kiryu about it.

Takemasa: “I was so happy that we could have Kohai! When Kiryu started being active there were barely anyone we could call “kohai”. So it made us go: “Even this band [Kiryu] can get Kohai?!” And we were so excited.” He also says that he didn’t really hear anything about Kirakira Kei before he heard of Royz. It was the first time he heard that expression. Tomoya talks about B.P.R boss who wanted to see them live before starting to work with them. So they invited him to a concert.

Kuina knew about him coming to a live but when he saw someone in the 2nd row filming the concert he went like: “Who is this? >___>” but it was BPR boss. They went to have dinner together then and also met up with Mitsuki and Takemasa from Kiryu there. They also talked a lot on the phone after that day and Koudai got the impression that they all seem pretty cool and that it would be cool to join the label. Kuina tells us how he went to school properly only until 1st grade of middle school, so he didn’t really know a lot about all that Sempai-Kohai-thing.

 22.25 Kiryu Opening Act

This is actually just a lot of talking about how happy Kiryu were to have Kohai now and that Royz got along pretty well with Kiryu xD

[firstpuffin]

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening remake

-Note: It’s kind of embarrassing to admit but my comments around the visuals of A Link to the Past and Link’s Awakening are straight-up incorrect. The two games did not share the same visual style and I honestly don’t know why I said that; I most definitely knew better. Still, I’m not going to get rid of it because the internet needs more examples of people admitting to be being wrong.

I say a lot that I want to be positive, but it’s really gonna be hard with this one. See, at the latest Nintendo Direct it was announced that they would be releasing a remake of the 26 year old game, The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. As it happens I was already considering writing something about this game in a “Games from my Childhood” article, but that would actually have been positive! This one is… well, I’m going to at least try and balance every negative with a positive.

-at least the title screen looks good-

  So where to begin: I won’t cover the story because spoilers but how about some personal background? The game came out a year before I did (ha! bad jokes) and I have no idea when I got my grubby little paws on it, but it was a part of my life genuinely for as long as I can remember, along with the Pokémon games. I never completed it as a child, but my memories of it were so good that I returned to it as an adult and completed it, learning its sad secret.

-hey! according to this it released the same year I did; me getting my years mixed up I guess-

  Link’s Awakening (LA) was originally a pet project made outside of work hours which is why it borrows resources from other games such as the Mario series, but it was eventually released to critical acclaim. The gameplay is much the same as its immediate predecessor A Link to the Past (LttP), but with a number of new items and a unique soundtrack. Visually it is much the same as well, although its original release was black and white for the GameBoy with Link’s Awakening DX adding colour for the GameBoy Colour.

  So let’s start with the visuals as that is most of what we have right now: the original shared its visuals with LttP what with them using the same assets (tools, resources etc) and LttP had a sequel recently that looked really nice. But the upcoming LA remake looks nothing like it; I wouldn’t expect it to but when a defence of the artistic choice is that “it’s an update of the original graphics” (so why not use the assets from the LttP remake?) or that it somehow “reflects the atmosphere of the original” except there’s no reason for it to be any different to, again, the LttP remake. And in response to the “atmosphere”, LA was one of the darker yet in some ways more whimsical games; this new style is childish to the extreme.

  Don’t get me wrong, I love something that is good and childish, but there is a level when it stops being great and starts to feel like they condescend to the player. Bright colours, simple faces, high pitched noises- Oh god the noises!! I’ll expand on the sounds later but I’m still on the visuals. I’ve heard the game described as looking like Claymation, which isn’t wrong, but my immediate thought was that it looked like cheap plastic. And after watching it again and again as I discussed it with a friend, this opinion stuck.

-tell me this doesn’t look like claymation; this isn’t a game, it’s an animated short film-

  You know how shiny and tacky cheap plastic usually looks? Imagine an entire game like that; an entire world like that. Fans of anime may understand what I say next, but there is a large element of “chibi” in this new game. Large head, tiny body. It’s often seen in short 4 minute spin offs of popular series.

-as you can see, chibi is hardly meant to be taken seriously-

-just to hammer things home-

  So shiny plastic, silly chibi art with a soulless expression. Oh yeah, that. Link’s eyes have zero soul behind them. Zero. He’s a freakin’ monster. Have you seen those Funko Pops? You know how empty they look? Some have said it somehow reflects the original game’s art again, but back then they didn’t have the technology to make him look soulless and young me always thought he looked determined; it was really cool.

-determined; dead inside-

Okay, so I said I would try and be fair, and I have shat upon the plasticine toy-box long enough, so here’s what is good visually. The areas are actually really nice. 

Ignoring the nail varnish sheen on everything, things are really detailed. There is an unfortunate trend in games, likely due to technical limitations, to have flat textures. Basically, imagine the difference between a tile or wood panel floor, and a picture of a tile or wood panel floor. But this game looks to have really tried in these areas. The grass looks thick and lush, tiles look like more than a photograph on the floor and even the flat flowers on the ground look decent. Just a shame it all looks like LEGO. Actually, a LEGO Zelda game would be awesome. But this is not that.

  I haven’t explained that very well, it’s an area that I am new at but I will say that clearly a lot of care has gone into the assets and the world. It is not a lazy game in any way.

-don’t tell me those trees and rocks and- well, everything, don’t look like LEGO-

Next I’m going to talk about the sound. First of all, I’m convinced that they have artificially increased the pitch of Link’s voice so it is painfully sharp to the ears. I’ll admit, I have an unusual sensitivity to lights and sound and thus I prefer darker colours and quieter sounds; I avoid clubs like the plague and not just because I’ll likely catch it there. So maybe, just maybe, I’m noticing something that won’t be a problem for most, and is just unfortunate for me. And let’s ignore that it doesn’t match the darker tone of the game.

  And the music? Also quite high pitched. And super cheery. It doesn’t have either the dreamlike or dark tones that could be expected (and just thinking of how it could be dreamlike gives me shivers; it could be so good) but is instead inanely cheery. In fact, I hope they sped everything up for the trailer and the pitch is just an unfortunate side-effect.

  On the plus side, the trailer opens with a cool cinematic and I swear the music changes from a nice, cheerful rendition (I don’t dislike cheerful in-and-of-itself) of the Zelda main theme to the death squeals of various instruments that I mentioned before. On top of that, it ends on a really nice vocal version of the LA theme, Ballad of the Wind Fish. If the trailer had been the cinematic and that closing song alone then I would be beyond excited about the remake. Thank heaven it wasn’t, I’m not sure my love of the series could survive such a plummeting disappointment.

-and here’s the actual trailer for your perusal- 

So I’ll finish here. I was originally very pleased, excited even that they had decided to remake what was a favourite, underrated and apparently forgotten game, but I kept my expectations low because I knew what to expect from these companies. I thought I did anyway. I was still disappointed. I thought I had prepared for the worst. Still, at least it gave me something to write about.

  But, the game has clearly had a lot of work put into it and gameplay-wise it actually looks to flow really well so I’m sure it controls like a treat. But the visuals and music are too big of a deal for me to let slide; if it keeps up like this then it could literally be painful for me to play. Still, games do change a lot from the initial trailer to its release and I even put forth an idea of why the sound may hurt me so much here. Maybe the final game will be a lot better. Unfortunately, the things I want to be done in games and such rarely are, and I am often alone in my complaints.

And finally, yes I am aware that the famous and incredibly popular Wind Waker entry in the series also had similar complaints and became, as I said, incredibly popular. I wasn’t a part of that crowd, I was too young and honestly, Link’s Awakening was the only Zelda game I had actually played at that time. 

[disanddatmedia]

So, normally i would say the connection that you have to family but by the sounds of how your mom is, lets say a good family member/friend that youre really close to

so as I said, a partner should be someone that is like your best friend but with some extra

relationships (of all kinds) can be broken down into 3 parts: friendship, emotional, physical

friendship: this is pretty easy but it essentially being able to get along with, trust in, have some similar interests, and you have some protective instinct (like not wanting them hurt) towards them (at a basic level), you hang out with them at times and talk to them and whatnot, this is pretty easy, you might find yourself hugging them or high5ing them, maybe even dance innocently with at times.

the other 2 build on top of friendship.

Physical: this is a physical attraction towards the person, now to basically sum it up is, this is things that you won't typically do with a blood relative (we are not Alabama, so we aint counting them in this xD, sorry for the bad joke). this has a few grey areas but that is something that gets cleared up by communicating with a new partner about this (like "hey where does 'x' fall under")

emotional: this is the harder one but hopefully you will understand after this. emotional is all in the mind and non-physical interactions. so this is like: interests lining up really well, personalities being compatible (so being able to get along really well and can even play on one another), the protective instinct (wanting to help them, wanting to make sure they're okay, wanting to make sure they safe), wanting to do things for them, you think of them when you're not around them, you miss them (whether that be in person or talking to them) and so on and so on, it basically takes parts of mental and personality parts of a friendship and ups it more

now, you can arrange these to make different types of relationships, so:

friendship=regular friend

friendship+physical=friends with benefits

friendship+emotional=best friends/close family (assuming they are good family, bad toxic family dles not fall unddr here)

physical=causal/one night stand

physical+emotional= crush (not to a friend), well this makes a bad relationship if it doesn't add friendship honestly, you need that friendship part, so ill say toxic relationship if it develops without friendship

emotional= this is the weird one, ill say... family that you're not close to but care for, like you're not going out to hangout with them but if something happen you be sad still

and now, all 3= relationship/partner. When this is reach it expands on all 3 as well.

so love, what the fuck is love then? love falls under friendship and emotional (not physical)

so under friendship, its an platonic love, like that caring for them, enjoying time together, missing them at times, etc. and under emotional, well it actually really needs both friendship and emotional, so it would expand and be more intense for things that a friendship has.

some say that you get butterfiles in your belly and some say you cant them off your mind, and some say its you get reminded of them everywhere, but those dont last forever even if you're in love with them, so lets not think of those, instead lets grab to other things (non toxic trails obviously, im not leading people into a toxic one)

so that person is who you feel very safe around and find comfort in

you enjoy your time with them

you are happy around them (even with depression but its more of a break from depression)

you feel like you can be yourself around them without Judgement

you and your partner are a team, so you both work together to reach your collective and individual goals and help one another/support each other

you flirt with each other (that can be dirty jokes to complements and joking around in ways that are for you two)

you complete each other (i know people say this without explanation so what they mean is if you think of it like if you were writing music and you write something but something is missing, so you think of it and then someone comes along and gives you what your sound has been missing this whole time and you also give that thing that they were missing from their sound so now you both make this beautiful sound that without the other, you wont have known.)

you want to have a future together (whatever that intails)

you want to share your live with them

you want to show them things that you did

you either understand or have similar love language (how you express it and yes you have one too because this can be extended to friends as well at times, so everyone h a love language)

you trust them enough to tell them stuff (includes secrets/trauma stuff)

when something good/bad happens to them you feel what they feel as well

you do things for them/inspired by them

and theres more.

the love language is the way that you should love (romanticly or friendship/family) is how you should said love to them, theres primary ones and secondary ones (i.e. most common and not as common), they are not the same between person to person and they can be different on how its expressed towards different groups, so for me for example some of mine would be ( btw, 'ff'=family/friend and r=romanticly, romanticly will also have parts or include all that are label 'ff' but not the other way around)

sending memes/tiktoks etc. (ff)

helping them (ff)

doing things for them (ff)

making things for them (more R but can be ff, depends on the thing i guess)

"loves ya (too)" (ff)

"(I) love you (too)" (R) (notice that ff has an "s" at the end and uses "ya", its how i differate, im weird i know)

showing music/movies to with (ff, tho while there might be limits on this, R has no limits)

touch (hugs, high5s, fist bumps, comforting pat/hold, basic dancing) (ff)

touch (hand holding, dancing of all types (and will be the first choice always), kissing, etc.) (R)

cooking for them (ff)

staying up super late for/with them (ff)

enjoy talking to them/talk to them alot (ff)

and memories made, which ill explain upon in a bit

anyways, im sure theres more BUT! when in an relationship, the "ff" are very common and are more prominent and the "R" are included (where they may (depending) not be included in a friendship)

if you are to say "I love you" to someone it should feel natural, mind you, the first time saying it to someone/saying it back for the first time can be absolutely terrifying, lots of anxiety, heart pounding, nervous as all hell as you not only await for the response but also say it out loud to them to see how that feels for you yourself and hey if the stars align you get the response you hope for and the feeling you wanted and its like when you beat a really hard boss in a game or when you finally get down that hard song you were trying to learn.

memories, why is this separated? its because it is what makes relationships stronger, you gotta make memories to make it stronger (its really not hard honestly). While it is applied to all types, a relationship itself deepens that feeling of love, and expands even more on all of those trails in each of the 3 parts of the relationship, which means it makes the relationship feel more better than before. Also if one remembers something small or important from awhile ago and show they remember later it can make one feel very special.

now, theres the chemical part of "love". there are 4 main chemicals that is associated with love, funny thing, you can feel these without love, however, when in love these chemicals are easier to reach and easier to combine, this is where the reference "love is addictive/love is a drug" comes from, the 4 main chemicals are: dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin. Also know as: pleasure/reward, satisfaction/importance, enjoyment/pain relief (not strong but a little), and love/connection (also known as the cuddle hormone). being around/talking to this person you love can be enough to trigger any or multiple of these chemicals and if you're having a bad day, being around this petson can help ease the rough day due to the emotional attachment and these chemicals being released when needed to balance out.

(insert the 2 photos talking about these chemicals)

now, you might be wondering "I hear alot of songs that talk about love but I can't relate." And well if you want lets listen to some and well analyze them with this document ive made

-sing your heart out, the trews (song about the feeling of love, like how one would be)

-loveless, said the whale (how love grows)

-man of two minds, the trews (when you crush on 2 different people)

-agape, bear's den (when you fear losing someone you love romanticly)

-perfect, amy hef (feeling like you found someone perfect)

-shut up and dance, walk the moon (the chemical rush of love)

so in summary, love is this magical and confusing thing, where its elements of friendship, emotional, and physical components all together to make all of it stronger and better, its like a best friend that you can be closer to, someone that is like positive family, your other half that without, you dont grow the way that you want to grow (like you learn about yourself and learn new things and have a support system), a physical partner that knows you well and wants to do well by you, an cocktail of strong chemicals that can make people crazy and wonderful, and something absolutely beautiful feeling. I hope that you are able to feel this feeling one day, its wonderful, and if you do feel this feeling, i hope that it is with someone positive and wonderful for you :)

(insert playlist songs to analyze and compare)

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKRwutKPPfjUFLawhNJ_jCSfAs9wxSRzP

[thisiswhereidraw]

people dont know this but grace loves to leave gifts and positive notes in peoples lockers

she notices when people are feeling down or have seen them in a bad situation in school, like a confrontation with a bully or an embarrassing moment in class

sometimes she asks around what those specific people like or enjoy so she knows what gift to get them. when they ask she says “dont ask questions you dont want to know the answer to” better to give them an intimidating vibe than a suspicious one just to avoid further questions

she stays anonymous so people dont go asking questions because she likes to keep a low profile

one boy in her science class accidentally tripped and spilled (non-chemical) liquid over the teacher and he became a laughing stock. people called him H2 Dope for days

later on that week he found a cassette of his favourite band and a note that says how admiring his skills in science are

a girl got cheated on by her boyfriend and the blame was pitted on her

she arrived to school in fear of her locker being trashed but found it to be neat and tidy as it was yesterday with a choc chip cupcake and a note that reads how wonderful and powerful she is on her own and that she was more worthy than some dumb boy that cant appreciate a great girlfriend when he has one

another girl didnt get into the schools play and was so upset she lashed out onto her friends

the next week she found a list in her locker of local theatres holding auditions and a note that teaches her about how anger can blind you to hurt the ones you love. that girl started crying as she let the note fall to the floor

the students in her year level dont know how this even happened but it just….appeared one day. they dont know who it is or why its happening

some notes make people laugh. some make them cry. some make them reconsider themselves. sometimes it works. other times it doesnt. for these people it takes them time to realise and grace knows this

grace does this for her friends too. since she knows them personally, the researching part is a lot easier and she can give them a bit of extra treatment with her gifts and speaks more from the heart with her notes

they go around telling people what happened and when they come running to grace she keeps a straight face and smiles and nods politely “good for you, man!” good thing shes a great actress

there are times when its hard to write something down, either she doesnt know what to say, or the topic is so familiar and personal to her she cant stop shaking the pen in her hand and her eyes are being blurred as they sting with tears

everytime grace sees someone or hears a story or a rumour, she keeps note of them and remembers them for her next plan.

however grace knows that she cant keep track of everyone’s problems. sometimes she walks past a group of people without knowing that theyre getting into a brawl. sometimes shes not present for an argument between friends or she doesnt share the same class with someone who was getting yelled at by a cruel teacher. grace knows theres more problems that keep occurring at glass shard beach high, heck, she knows people could be dealing with things at home. shes cant be there for them and sometimes she feels this pain in her chest because once she realises how much of an impact she has been on her peers she wants to reach out to them but she cant and it hurts her and she needs to get a grip because shes been staring at her cereal for 10 minutes now and her dad is staring at her and shouldnt she be getting ready for school?

she sits in class thinking about her next plan, the teacher calls on her for not paying attention and she claims she was daydreaming again

if you ever see grace anywhere, chances are you catch her in the midst of her inner thoughts, eyes staring out into space and fingers tapping on whatever surface shes on subconsciously

grace can’t even remember how or when she even started. shes done it for so long she just accepted it as part of her agenda at school

eventually almost everyone in her year level has been visited by her act of kindness, and sometimes students in the year levels below grace have been visited by her

they share stories with each other, finding common ground in getting visits from this mysterious do-gooder, shes like the schools local cryptid

her friends get suspicious of her and wonder why she hadnt gotten any gifts or notes yet

she dismisses them and claims that she hasnt been in any bad situation yet. maybe she doesnt share any classes with them. and thats the end of the conversation

the stan twins hear these stories and at first stan makes an off-hand comment about them and ford just laughs with him but silently wonders when it could happen to him

its been two weeks since stanford got into a particularly brutal meeting with crampelter and his goons,  (if it wasnt for stan he would have ended up in hospital) and he begins to lose hope that this kind anonymous will ever visit him.

he gasps audibly when he finds tickets to the planetarium in his locker, and a note that reads his best qualities and states how hes not a freak and hes more than just his fingers and that he has no idea how loved and cared for he is (grace might have accidentally poured her heart out a bit too much in his note)

stan fails another test and gets a lecture and a few choice words from his father. stan and grace are outside waiting for ford to finish his chess club meeting and he casually mentions it to grace like its no big deal and stan was probably imagining things but he could of sworn he saw a glint in her eye when he finished talking. he had never seen that from her before but brushed it off when ford stepped out of the school building. then later out of the blue grace asks stan what comics he enjoyed

a few days later stan comes to school bummed out because how could he forget to buy his favourite comic?? he rushed to the store last night but the last copy was already sold. if the lecture he got from his father three days ago wasnt bad enough he was expecting most of his peers to be talking about the latest issue at school so he was already dreading the oncoming spoilers. what he was not expecting was to find a copy of “The Caper Boys” issue #18 along with a note that read how smart he is and that his talents lie more in areas that arent academic. that hes strong both physically and mentally and that hes definitely not a waste of space and hes absolutely worth it and hes enough hes enough hes enough (once again grace spills her heart onto the page)

the twins show each other what they found in their lockers and begin to realise that the author of these notes sound very familiar and only one person they know of speaks of them like that

they confront grace once day and tell her they know. they know about the gifts and the notes and how she stares off into space all the time and how shes always watching and listening and only she could afford things like tickets to the planetarium and that only she writes notes as genuine and kind as that and seriously who else would have told stanley and stanford pines that they were loved and cared for in this school did you really think we wouldnt catch on grace?

she stares at them for a moment and then the poker face she keeps putting on finally breaks as she lets out a small smile

“i knew you two were too smart for your own good”

they laugh with her as she talks about her little quests and how she got into so much trouble to get most of the gifts she had given

she continues her secret quests in cheering up the school. the twins are the only ones that know about this and sometimes they help her out. one day ford asks her if she had any reason to do all this. why go through the hassle? most of these people are assholes.

“dont question kindness” she responds

what did she mean by that? ford doesnt know but it sticks with him for longer than he can admit

no one else knows that grace is responsible. not the students not the teachers, no one, but you know what they dont mind because they like the mystery, the school is crummy enough as it is and everyone knows that anyone physically showing this much compassion will be the bullies next big target so maybe they should let it be a secret just to protect this person, whoever they are because damn if it isnt delightful to be surprised by the smell of that rose perfume that lingers after she visits and the sight of a folded up sheet of lilac paper, and theyll be damned if it stops all of a sudden

[teddy-feathers]

@lost-and-found-jc

Bones, Picked Clean the one you read but still prob one of my all time faves. Eventual harem but mostly just... Reader meeting the scary ones first and treating them like people, while calling out the nicer ones on their bs. Also i need more horrortale niceness in my life okay?

Bitty Hunt is another harem style however the Reader is a bitty. Its hilarious and while I would recommend anything by this author, this story along with Tits and Dick are my faves.

Chipping Away its a bit dark. Well okay its pretty dark but theres a feeling of hope persisting despite everything that i enjoy. Gruesome bits discribed a little though. Reader is a medic from a shitty surface and falls into a horrortale makes friends with frisk. Ship with sans i think whose big. Also not technically horrortale as the designs of the chatacters are from a lesser known au currently called something like undertomb(?) But its still got the cannibalism and you don't need to know that really except to know why theyre described different in this story.

Dumb swapfell papyrus moved out away from his brother for reasons and is a socially akward fuck.

Rain Rain Go Away its long. Its funny. Theres sibbling shenanigans. Odd magic human world building subplot. Mostly its just cute and fluffy and Reader is so nice and happy. Self indulgent as hell and i appreciate that.

Skeleton Squatters and the LandLady one of the more popular harems. Readers life is too stressful so she goes to take a weekend break at an old family property. A bunch of skellys have moved in and uh well Reader makes friends and her friends are there for her. And then the shipping begins.

Slave Tale i love everything by this author however a lot of it especially this story deals with self harm, self destructive behavior, and sexual abuse of one form or another. However there is a lot of excellent characterization, development, and worldbuilding.

The House Next Door another harem and while i will go ahead and warn you that the writer makes the mistake of shoving too many people's dialog into a single paragraph, I'm going to urge you to ignore that as its worth it. Reader has a family that we've just found out about in the last handful of chapters which is interesting but essentially... Reader has three jobs and thh crazy random happenstances of running into a skeleton of skeletons who all end up living in the mansion next door. Right now theyve just finished team building and i think it did wonders for their friendship levels.

The Skeleton Games underfell surface timeline. Reader is a vampire. They share an apartment wall with underfell sans who's a noise asshole so Reader trolls them through the power of video games and they become friends. Its funny af.

Not Your Prey a spin off of the skeleton squatters but you don't have to read that one to get this one. Fellswap papyrus and a demi reader.

Ain't this the Life? IF you're an adult I recommend this series. Warnings for fellcest and the fact that while not every part is porn its pretty damn close and will at least reference it. That being said... Fellbros are stuck in a post pacifist timeline of undertale with classic sans and all. Theyve adjusted okay all things considered but despite them being from the 'fucked up edgy timeline' theyre way more well adjusted in some ways then sans. But they both have a thing for sans and the smut is just a convenient excuse to get inside everyones head and see how messed up they are and how well theyre putting eachother back together. Its super cute and shippy on one level uh but the author posts content warnings but i Will say consent is the greatest kink here.

Winter in your Bones not gonna lie this is a stright up romance novel set in Alaska. A lot of questions dont get answered but thats not the point the point is that its a romance novel between Reader and Sans. Complete.

The Party Incident and other Embarrassing Anecdotes painful with the secondhand embarrassment but... Funny as fuck and worth it. Your shippers heart will get broke about halfway through but im given to understand everything turns out better for it. Theres also bonus AU content and other POV content.

Be All My Sins Remembered I like this one but its painful in nonfunny ways. MC is socially avoident but lives in a dorm going to college and then the skellybros move in and social shit ontop of interspecies incidents get out of hand. But misunderstandings are starting to get cleared up and its really worth the read.

Bitties of the Mt. Ebott Area one of the few things ive read thats Complete and its a bunch of complete fics to boot. Theres some interfamily drama but overall good wholesome things ger better vibes.

Thunderstruck underfell papyrus gets some major character development... And also joins a band. He and his brother are in a surface timeline with the classic undertale bros.

Okay there's like way more but that being said i also recommend just going to ao3 going to the undertale fandom section and then hitting [sort by] most kudos or whatever and checking out those. They are popular for a reason and they are really good and i think several here are pretty close to the top of the list.

I didnt recommend even nearly all of my faves or even just a lot of the ones ill go back and read. Mostly because my attention wanders and im not caught up on a lot of them. If you like one work of an author def check out the rest by them - and check out the inspired by / spin off works because theyre usually really good.

[kyanmaaaa]

okay so  i supposse i shouldnt be surprised i had a dream involving yanderes considering how much stuff i read for them

but it was surprising how scary it was! woke up with my heart pounding and stuff

so the beggining of the dream is im at some kind of event with my family and someone pulls me aside to talk abt something, and i follow them to another building cause hey we’re in a semi public place, and then we enter the building and theres just hands on me, picking me up, grabbing my arms and legs and all of a sudden theres way more  people than the one polite person i was talking to before and theyre all talking abt how they’ve finally got me and how mom and dad are gonna be so happy to finally have me in the family and im like woah woah hey woah what the fuck, wiggling and kicking and panicking cause why the fuck are they touching me stop touching me

i break free and ran through the weirdly empty and open house, coming to a two story tall room and falling through the door to the level below, its dirt on the bottom and the rooms featureless besides the unfinished windows and doors up above and everythings black. i crawl and shimmy up the supports and fucking run

the area we’re in is a little less populated so my cell reception isnt great, i try to call 911, and i try again, and again, but i cant get a signal, so i try calling my brother and for some reason that comes through and i just beg him to please come find me i dont know where i am but theres people and-

and then they found me

i dont remember what happens at this part but i guess i stay with that part of the family for a bit with plans to move me to see their mom and dad, everyone else was a child of them or something. i dont remember a punishment but i think i mightve gotten  one for being uncooperative and everything at this points just so much more frightening. everythings more clear once i escape

which involves a lot of running, resting in abandoned places but only where im clearly hidden but theres still plenty of room to maneaver in, always with more than one exit available. its been  a while like this, i havent seen anyone in a long time, still trying to get in contact with my brother, but im starting to get into a groove with keeping away from them, surely they’ve lost track of me by now?

i fuck up one day when im trying to go to the bathroom, im going down the stairs to a middle level with a small kitchen, and the level below has the bathroom, with only one exit on each floor, the stairs. i never make it to the bathroom, i step down that last step to the kitchen and i just hear a voice behind me  and i panic and grab them, squeezing around their mouth (a cats mouth?) before they can say more, choking them, its hard to breath to see to think but i try to bash their catlike head on a table, to keep them quiet maybe no one else has seen me yet if i can just knock them out but i CANT because i hate them im scared but i never never want to hurt anyone so each time i try to slam their head into the counter its just not hard enough and im more upset now, absolutely not thinking clearly as i try to shove them into the freezer where they clearly wont fit but hey maybe if it was old enough they’d be trapped in there (insulated and silencecd) for long enough to get me out

but someone comes down the stairs again and i break. apologizing, sobbing, apologizing, barely able to breath and speak through the stutters of I’m sorry, I’m sorry, because i dont want to go back I don’t want to be hurt again but im powerless and im sorry

im captured, they take a moment to assess the room, stare at their dizzied companion as i cower behind the support beams in the strange room

and then im at their mom and dads house, talking to a puppy that calls me dad. it doesnt understand that im not its father. At least the dog calls me dad, everyone else has been misgendering me the whole time. ive been given a new name, a pets name, and its too feminine, demeaning and im mad. so i tell the puppy lets have some fun and i show it how to absolutely destroy the mansion we’re in, knocking shit off tables, knocking over tables, just mayhem, general mayhem and destruction

when the butler comes im chastized, threatened, and the puppy stands on its hind legs and instead of being blamed with me it joins in, talking completely differently than before and callng me such a disgrace. i dont want the puppy to get in trouble i did start it after all, but it hurts to be alone, i thought the weird puppy was at least my friend and equal in this

after my punishment im finally introducted to the mom and dad of the family, theyre both youngerish, middle 30s at the latest, and kinda boring looking tbh in how conventially attractive they are. they examine me, talking as if im not there and how happy they are to finally have their pet, i bite my tongue and keep quiet.

im  not sure what starts this but theyre unhappy, and i hate them and im scared of them, but i dont want them to be unhappy im so tired of everything being unhappy, so i muster up my best fake peppy voice and ask if we can play dress up.

they have so many beautiful dresses! and accessories! and a pretty dollhouse backdrop where the dad tells me how pretty i am as i smile and follow directions for each pose as he takes pictures with his professional camera, my dress is huge and flows and its poofy and ruffled in PINK and momentarily im distracted from my situation by just how magical it feels, eating in the slim bits of affection im granted with each compliment and soft eyes

the mom looks over the picture roll with him over which pictures should go up on the wall, or perhaps in a fancy display like the one behind her, showing a younger picture of herself before saddening, commenting on how (she says the wrong name, the pets name, the one thats clearly not mine) is so much more beautiful than her, how shes past her prime, and the mood sullies

i jump in, telling her how im not more beautiful, im just more magical! (fake peppy voice fake peppy voice please dont be unhappy) and she’d be just the same if she’d join me in being a fairy princess (i doodle long flowing fairy like golden eyebrows on her portrait with my scepter) and she laughs and smiles

and then i woke up

im conflicted on this dream cause i was really, really fucking freaked out when i woke up, i mean kidnapping, some forgotten pain just outside of my memory, the loneliness, just getting touched with no control over and over again, the powerlessness, the fear, and the strong need not for approval but just some sort of stability even if i have to play the game with the wrong far far too feminine name

[tamiddyinyourcity]

2:15am, my memory is feeling weird.

Can't remember what are daydreams and what actually happened, since I guess my memory tends to get fucked when my stress levels get too high.

I don't even know, whats left to say?

I hope he's okay. That was really really fucked up what happened.

I really wanted things to work out, this is all a lot to process tonight....

Its a shame that our relationship finally got back to a normal level, just to fall down like Dominoes all over again thanks to meddling when theres no point other than to ruin an event for him...... I think its really toxic that his friends did that to him, and i guess i always worry seeing red flags like this pop up in a relationship.

It was nice when he opened up to me like that.... Felt extremely comfortable, i really liked the feeling of hugging him instead of resentment over the other day......

If only we stuck to the rule of "dont get involved with his friends"... it was one thing to just know its too soon, have a separate birthday celebration or hangout with him, and just move on from things. Its a special type of pain, when its me thinking of potential board games or things to bring for his birthday party, and getting booted out for the sake of someone else. (Which if anything, reopened a wound we swore was sealed.....)

Its 2:22am, and according to angel numbers, now is a good time to "manifesting miracles and new auspicious and timely opportunities. Angel Number 222 encourages you to take a balanced, harmonious and peaceful stance in all areas of your life. The message is to keep the faith and stand strong in your personal truths".

......I'm only 40% sure I know what that means, but alright.

Oddly enough, our original breakup, he texted me directly at 2:22am. It was just a petty message, but solidified my stance in "yall are both clowns if yall cant see how weird any of this is to do to me????"

......alright.

I can't really change the past, and well, I definitely am not gonna be speaking to anyone he knows anymore.

Shit, its like....

One second its Christmas, you're getting a wool hat and a nice knit scarf from his mom, you eat dinner with his family, relax, enjoy his company and theirs, bake some cookies, cuddle with eachother, and then promptly bang like animals.

And a mere few days later, you're getting cast aside in the relationship in favor of other people, and are having chest pains in bed; over someone who wouldn't make the right effort for you, or to stand his ground.......

And all your friends are collectively going, "Throw the whole man away, sis!", even though you still sympathize with him to an extent. Even in anger, I was like "Well I get why she wouldn't like me, but it still doesn't hurt any less that I got kicked out, instead of an assertive *just dont show up if you plan to start shit*."

That's what had me the most annoyed, really.

"I don't wanna have to choose between you two", and you still did..... jesus christ.

I'll still be happy for the moments we shared before, but gosh.... jesus christ!

What the fuck, even?

I can't even process tonight at all.

Too many.... emotions, all over the place. Brashness, hostility, tears, whatnot.

And it does hurt to kinda hug someone as they're crying about being sad that the relationship is ending and how they still want to know me, before they go, "I'm not gonna want to see you or talk to you for a long time, and, dont expect me to anytime soon."

You can kinda hear the cracking noise in my chest audibly upon hearing that interesting information.

Big mood flip.

But, in context, it was still somewhat understandable.... But at the same time, not really.

Hell, his only reason for wanting to break up upon seeing me was, "I dunno, I feel bad about dis-inviting you to my birthday party".....

And no other reasons fully stated until the situation just got worse and worse.....

I just.

Of all the outcomes?

.......Context makes it worse, and im not in a place to really talk more.

I just gotta move on. Thats the point. As much as I liked talking to them, and holding them, and other comforts... they simply werent dedicated to me enough, and i felt more into them than they had been into me.

Since of course, if roles were reversed, I'd be the one going "If you don't like my boyfriend, then simply don't show up. I like them, and you need to respect that or just stay away."

(Hell, i even *was* doing that! The ladies on my spam kept roasting his face in the photos i had of him, and i was telling them to knock it off or else they would get blocked. Why? Because i stand up for those who i like, and who i date, whether or not they are watching.)

And his way of going "azalea doesnt like you and i wanted her there, so i decided youre no longer invited", instead of "thats my girlfriend, and if you cant even agree to be civil at a party for the sake of me enjoying my own birthday, you can get uninvited"......

....speaks volumes.

How amazing.

Yeah, its making it harder to regret things, if this was the main problem.

Patrick = unable to stand up for me, and simply doesnt like or respect me enough to ever do so.

Solution = you cant get pussy if you're gonna be treating the girl who doesn't fuck you as the one youd rather spend a lovely time with

The extra stuff is eh.

No other solution, other than "he was gonna ghost me anyway, so", and just moving on.

Some other dude tried to hit me up as well.

And my other ex, Blonde Patrick, had messaged me.

He's still salty about our relationship ending before.

What a loser.

I told him "if youre still hurt then sure, i dont mind not hanging out with you", and thats all that ive said so far.

(Nigga really is such a dumbass, i dont regret leaving this other guy either.)

Long story short, i understand why nuns are a thing now.

Thats all. Peace out.

[themoneybuff-blog]

The Road to the Fortress of Solitude

A few years ago, a movie called The Gambler came out, starring Mark Wahlberg. It was a decent movie Im not here to do movie reviews but there was one portion in the middle where a minor character played by John Goodman gives a monologue about what a person should do if they find themselves up a couple of million dollars. Heres that speech, but be aware its full of adult language. The point of Goodmans monologue in the movie is that if a person ever finds themselves with a couple of million dollars, that person should build their fortress of solitude. In his terms, that consists of a decent house with a good roof, a reliable car, and the rest of the money put away in investments that will very reliably return a few percent per year. Lets say you have $2 million. You buy a $300,000 house with a good roof on it, buy a reliable $40,000 car, and put the other $1.66 million away in an investment and withdraw 3% a year, which is basically $50,000 a year, for the rest of your life. At that point, you basically dont have to work for a living any more. You dont have to put up with being treated poorly by an employer you can just walk and youll be fine. You can try new things and see if they work out. Furthermore, if you do manage to earn some more money beyond that, you can take some risks with it. You can invest in your brothers dream of running a restaurant. You can help your computer whiz nephew to start a dot-com business that hes been tossing around. You can invest deeply in a particular collectibles market that youve always enjoyed because it scratches some nostalgic itch. I wrote about the actual ins and outs of this plan a couple years ago, because Sarah and I are basically aiming to have our own fortress of solitude at roughly the exact moment our youngest child leaves the nest. However, rather than talking about the goal, I want to talk about the road to the fortress of solitude. Work, Luck, and Risk In my experience, there are basically three elements that play into what your financial journey will look like. The first element is work. Are you willing to work hard in order to earn money? Are you willing to make hard choices to preserve the money you earn, meaning you choose not to spend it on frivolous things? Are you willing to work evenings and weekends to do a little more than the next person? Are you investing your time into skills that you can use directly to earn more? The second element is luck. Luck indeed has a lot to do with the hand youre dealt the situation into which you were born, the genetics handed to you by your parents, and so on. The trick is to ignore that luck and focus instead on the unexpected events in your life going forward from here. What are you doing to ensure that bad events are less likely and have less impact? What are you doing to ensure that good events are more likely and have greater impact? You cant force bad events not to happen or good events to happen, but you certainly can take action to alter the odds a little, reduce the impact of bad events, and improve the impact of good events. The third element is risk. Are you willing to take a chance at a bad result in order to improve the typical result or have a chance at an incredible result? Are you willing to take on a job thats incredibly challenging where you might utterly fail, but it gives you a chance to succeed spectacularly (like, say, joining a startup)? In general, the lower the risk, the lower your income is, but the more stable it is. A really stable job might give you a very high chance of reaching your fortress of solitude in 20 years, but very little chance of getting there in ten. A risky job might give you some chance of getting there in ten years, some chance of getting there in twenty, and some chance of basically never getting there. Those three elements work together and play off of each other in determining your long term financial success. If you dont work hard, take risks, and cultivate luck, its going to be very challenging to build up a fortress of solitude. You need to do all of those things to some degree to build a strong financial path. Here are some thought on each of those areas and what Ive done to use those elements in building my own fortress of solitude. The Elements of Work For me, work refers to any situation youre doing something other than what youd otherwise want to be doing for the sake of earning money or other resources that you can turn into greater opportunities later. If Im doing something I wouldnt otherwise be doing if I werent being compensated, Im working. Sometimes, people do get paid for doing things theyd otherwise be doing. I look at people who sleep on the job and get paid or people who have work tasks they should be doing but are otherwise looking at social media or doing online shopping as examples of this. Those people would likely be sleeping or web browsing if they werent at work, to be quite honest. The thing is, during those times, theyre not contributing any value to their workplace and that path is likely not leading to any future opportunities of note. Theres also a wide range of work difficulty. Some work is very physically or mentally demanding, leaving you exhausted at the end of the day. Some work is simple and you dont feel drained after spending several hours working. Ive worked at all kinds jobs that didnt really deplete me at all, jobs that were physically demanding, jobs that were mentally demanding, and a few things that were both. My experience has been that in general (with some impact from luck and risk), the harder you work, the better your financial rewards are most of the time, in both the short term and the long term. If you go to work and bust your rear end, people notice and that ends up benefiting your career most of the time. If you start a business and work hard to make it successful, youre much more likely to find some degree of success with that business most of the time. For example, the hardest Ive ever worked in a traditional job occurred in the early to mid 2000s, where I singlehandedly built a rather large software project used by a lot of people. This resulted in a very stable job, a lot of offshoot consulting gigs, and a strong professional reputation. The hardest Ive ever worked on a side gig was The Simple Dollar, which ended up more successful than I could have ever dreamed. I worked hard at other things and didnt work particularly hard at others, but I almost entirely found that the level of success was strongly linked (though not absolutely linked) to my genuine hard work. Work smart. Work hard. If you do that, youre very likely to reliably earn money and have plenty of opportunity to earn more. Remember, at any given moment, youre competing with others. Some of those people work harder than you, while others work a lot less than you. Which of those groups is more likely to get a raise or a promotion? Which of those groups is more likely to get a pink slip? So, what can you do? When you go into work, work hard. If your tasks are complete, put in effort to improve your skill set or take on another task. If you dont know what to do, sit down with your boss and talk about a plan that will take you toward a raise or promotion, and then when you dont have an obvious task to do, work on that plan. If you have a big project coming up, get as much as you can done early in the project cycle so that crunch time isnt devastating. If youre not willing to do this, you shouldnt expect the rewards that will come to those who do. The Elements of Luck Luck, in my terms, simply refers to events outside of your control that can affect your life in some respect. Good luck includes events outside of your control that have a positive effect, while bad luck includes events outside of your control that have a negative effect. A key thing to remember is that luck is an element of life thats partially under your control and partially out of your control. While you cant control the actions of others or the impact of unexpected events, you can certainly shape and guide those actions and the impacts that they have on you. For example, if you build a strong, positive professional network and social network, youre introducing not only a lot of possible opportunities for good luck in your life, youre also providing some protection against bad luck. A professional network and social network will often advocate positively for you when youre not around, point you toward opportunities, and provide help when you encounter a difficult period. Ive written extensively in the past about things you can do to improve your luck, both in terms of minimizing chances of bad luck and maximizing chances of good luck (as well as your ability to take advantage of good luck). The Elements of Risk Risk, in my terms, simply means the amount of exposure to danger that some aspect of your life has. I often see it as the exposure of some of the fruits of your hard work to the vagaries of luck. Life itself has some risk we always have a chance to lose things we care about but we have a ton of choices in front of us to increase or decrease risk in our lives. For example, if you go through life without an emergency fund, you expose a lot of your life to a higher level of risk. If you build an emergency fund, you reduce the exposure of a lot of your life to risk. You can choose to put your money in risky investments or in not-so-risky investments. If youre relying on having that money going forward, then youre putting other elements of your life at risk as well; if you can manage in life without that money, then youre actually contributing less overall risk to that investment. There are times when it makes sense to lower our level of risk, such as when the bad effects of an outcome we dont want are way more painful than the good effects of an outcome we do want. There are other times when taking a risk can pay off, such as when the good effects of the outcome we want are far more beneficial than the bad effects of the outcome we dont want. For example, Im not interested in risking my childrens safety, no matter what the price, so Im going to do things that will likely cost me time and money to minimize risks to them. On the other hand, if Im spending my spare time writing a piece of fiction that I hope to sell or submit to awards contests, theres much less downside to taking a huge risk with that writing. What do I have to lose? The Overlaps of Work, Luck, and Risk Its the overlap of those three elements that ends up defining a lot of what we have in life. A hard worker is likely to have better outcomes than the person who doesnt work much at all. A person who has cultivated good luck is likely to have better outcomes than the person who hasnt cultivated good luck. A person who decreases the risk on things that are important and increases risk only on things that arent a big deal to them is likely to have better outcomes than the person who is risky with everything or risk-averse with everything. None of those things are a guarantee, of course, but if you line them all up side by side, you end up with a pretty clear recipe for building a path to your fortress of solitude and beyond. Work hard. Dont sit around idling unless its leisure time or youre genuinely preparing yourself for meaningful action. When you dont have an immediate task on your plate, take on a task to improve yourself or improve your situation. Have a plan in place that takes you to where you want to go next in life and put genuine, consistent effort toward successfully completing that plan. Do things that create good luck in your life. Build strong, positive relationships with people that last and put in effort to sustain them over time by touching base frequently. When you have a good idea, stop and write it down and actually take action on it later. Find mentors. Be a mentor to others. Treat other people as you would like to be treated at all times, regardless of whether you know them or not. Avoid things that create bad luck in your life. Dont talk negatively about others, particularly behind their back. Dont burn bridges when a situation changes. Dont sabotage others. Dont treat the world as though it only has one winner in reality, the pie grows over time, so your slice will, too. Dont put things that are really important at risk. Have an emergency fund. Make sure that you and the people you rely on always have the fundamentals for a good life available to them. Dont engage in unethical behavior. Dont do things that could damage your reputation if they were found out. Take risks with things that are less essential. Write that novel with that surprising element. Step up to that hard task at work you wont get fired if you work hard at it but it doesnt quite turn out. Ask that girl or that guy out on that date the worst thing that happens is she says no, and then youre basically back where you started anyway. Haggle on the price of that item. The Synergy If youre doing all of those things together, youre building your fortress of solitude, even if you dont have a lot of money in the bank just yet. You are on a path to a point in your life where the key things you need are secure and youre able to say no to a lot more things than you were in the past because you dont need that money thats dangling in front of you. It starts with working hard, building good luck, downsizing bad luck, minimizing risk to the important things, and amping up risk to the less important things. Those are the core elements on the road to success, whatever that success might be. You can do this. You have the tools. You just need to make the choices every day. You need to work hard. You need to build good luck and minimize bad luck. You need to manage risk smartly. Do that, and youll have your dreams. Do that, and youll have your fortress of solitude. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-road-to-the-fortress-of-solitude/

[jayundergod-blog]

Ultimate fear to me.

Say ive smoked some marijuana and im those thinker type when i smoke the chiba. Well suddenly im surrounded by only those bearing tone of demons prophane barbaroc behaviors. I dobt want to go to hell, and this fleshed out before my eyes is the nature of my worst fear. I am not only God Fearing, but damn nervous because Ive nearly awakened what I call the real me, an innervoice guiding. And i have begun eliminating distraction. I have cleared my thoughts and sight of many distractions. And have started to have a certain space for any almost all items under my use amd home. One thing that adds to another frustratoon os not remembering drawers or table or nooks random/common items did put that buisness card? Or it could just be a real pressue on moment and those 3 like mechanical reaches with your hands and ready to go in 5 seconds. I am comparing this new day 1 moment for me to Change from within. In order to make positive impact on future sitiations and various choices given, I have to jump way out of familiarity. I dont know how to make a friend where drugs and alcohol arent at least in the introductio. Its been over 20 years outside of my sponsor in an AA run since I have made any friends outaide of Getwasted Land. And its alnost like some of these people down here might be animated workers of a divine purpose. . Another reason my greatest fear revolves around Hell is Part A: my consistence in screwing up my life and Part B: randomly manipulating in or believing the reason for myaelf that My heart is attatched the right way, I believe God intended to place a mountain of pain shame and addiction and pride, occourances 1 after another saying put down the beer weed dream. Its not working. Test? bad test? CRASH collisions. wrecks.. Sexual imoralities that put me in only tighter, I like to think of as an irrational coat of shame. Switching schools over 20 times social bonding just seemed to naturally wade into the wastelabds. It was cool to say **** things, skip class and sneak a J. So still part B: reason for my greatest fear sometimes i worry my desire to fight evil with fire kind of mentality of a grey angel badass has to often and with any levels of sincerity been ... non supportive of God, and a compmete self failure. I am a highly successful failure. The tides of life had been decided to ensure have a livable income for life. All my lab blood tests come back good. Inspite of ludacrouis unprotected promiscuity and abusing chemicals alcohol included at very high danger quantities and lengths of time. To paranoid to bruah my teeth, and involved with the addict community they really do mess with my toothbrush when i let them know they can not live in my spare room area or you've got to go period. So the balance of pride and shame are big with me. Im simply putting it this way. I am very smart. Like, words don't automatically limit my perception and i discover ideas, inventions, ways to improve systems namely in buisnesses etc. But i believe i may have discovered a few awarnesses in the light of creation that had been considered. And i flow with innovation so much i didnt even write inventions down anymore. But im starting too now. I dont know if tbere is evil in my motives to understand, and my motive to protect the earth with my creative discoveries within the gift of life here. Glory all goes to God. And i feel pride and shame when i point something out like "this motivated by my naturally good heart amd my true self is a divine discovery. I am probably the first to say Ive beaten Lucifar hands down on 3 areas very simple. 1: there is guarenteed 1% of love within this entitty from the bible, And Lucifer is afraid of this within himself. He fears the capacity in his heart. Lucifer fears himself. And that tiny igmored reality of love is capable of seeking forgiveness and apologizing to his creator. Yea i could be nuts but 2: humans, generally any life form brought into light given the breath of life to seek the water of life, are conditioned, refined, we are born with lack of understanding and in time develop sincere amd forced pursuit of underatanding. I take it Lucifer just suddenly came into light an angel with uncomparable tangible working knowledge with math, music, stars, and whatever elae. Put Satan up against a regular devloped human and there is much to gain from the journey in being. Where satan just woke up with his bed made and an attitude similar to mine perhaps. "This can be better". Is where i stop the line. I assume God ridicule came from the statue with emotions and knowledge. Who should be a professilnal liar if he believes himself that his strength and power are not extensioms of God to begin with. Have to be a wicked bad liar to claim pride and ownership of anything whatsoever under the light. And finally 3 i feel im going to remember the 3rd way I checked the scariest guy in hell. But yeah no? assuming the story true, wouldnt the capacity in hiz heart be to close to deny and create fear and the most depressing "what am i going to wear today" moments? Before showing the tear in his eyes emotions. this waa a really long stretch of a first blog in life. Im considering Blog 2 to be straight down to the knit. My **** and my luster. None of you will likely know me so ill drop down my guard and even get into the pride/shame like. yes i was on that crack like they were infinity packs and the only translatable view to the edge lf my heart beyond the mountain God may have intended to be in my way. And yes for sure real sexual absurditiesn have been a matter if exploration and i found the most go to being ones least condoned like im straight but a few times on thjs other drug, the only reaskn the drug would be any jse to me if I went straight tranny freakazoid fk or even longer than 12 straight ( kind of) hours. I made a bjg ordeal of it too because i live in comparing to a waizt to shoulder hi body of water like fear. Im always nearly always in fear of something. Even if its just in a house all alone I am watching my tone and volume to not disturb the entity or embarrass myself. And theres usually a lot of BS running around my zone too. But anywhoo, scared of the SwaT teams and demons in a hotel, after the first usual 3 hours of eyes attatched to all directions i can notice without moving i said im going to max this **** out right here yeeaaaaa and i was doing poses for the potentials whoever stands at a second floor hotel window for 3 hours. You catch the drift. Sure part of the freaknicity invomved is mentally appealing. Im nkt going to lie. The flesh of a woman looking jedi equipped i mean has to be no sembalance of a male but thats neithr here nor anywhere for me because this isnt like, my hearts reach in any way. Since the last time i freaked off i encountered sexual encounter with an at the time friend lady and then almost a second time with the hottest coat rack breast formation i ever need to remember. Well she pulls out the money for intercourse part and now i am in not only great confliction but with a prepared spirit for the one of the highest priority lessons I could learn or be corrected on. And just then came a foundation of knowledge and vision. Flesh perveree barbaric using eachother like another drug or relieving some pain or just sheer addicted. Ive never had a time i can remember where there is something between us not being impprtant to me in the sack of awesome goods. If there is no relation there to me now more than ever, then jt is absolute perversive use of the flesh and body. I hope i dont get some effect of a born habbit and tranny zerg away my problem and enhanced self confliction. Hey that was mostly because damn new drug new coping mechanisim, and there are countless survielance vultures and sure there are good birds too but ive raised a lot of attention. I just let go on the FBI something about FBIs mom too. And maybe i just want the 3rd particles in good hands but I cant trust a comey supporting organization who are either ignoring the messed up bridge and back up the lies or they are beings without common sense. Plus some other group(s) i may or may not belong too. Im an expert **** up trying to move out of this world vast potential into a framing of the only way i see contributing chance to 5 generations from now to be atleast alive bearably. But no the world unison is buy what they say to buy no matter what healthier and bio friendly lower cost solutions are hidden from us. What would evolve in systems and technologies supressed by our ROTH oppressors fancy dress night club, is probably far beyond any imagination. But we want to say its cool ill stcik with gasine and everything else unto death. Whats a future generaton? I dont see blood on my hands yet. Not my problem. Or worst yet of the whe set is the sad existance of knowing that better is a controlled possibility removed from possibility by a few tactics to keep humans focused on other problems like, never never represent the problem with details about the CIA plane crash bringing cocain into america. Dont put on the news 24,311 bombs were dropped on other countries. Like is it 100s or thousands of oilline breaks per year? Either way they don't want you to see the pentagon lost 6.5 trlion bucks whoops . And tobaccoo being a substantial source of tax revenue. Whatever moneys not the problem here. Its how ks your FDA cool with 6000 known additves to a ciggrrate? and youre good with modified organism (gene manipulated plant life namely fruist and veggiesbyou can claim intellectual rights to tomatoes now by altering its DNA) that most consumers would lome the right to know but man its over with. Im either going to just die one day... Or I'm going to dye knowing i threw down a few sparks that reached a storm the ROTH associates will have to get stepping. Go buy your own planet or island of youre so obsessed with being king lizard man. Destroying the offspring futures chance of a liveable world and potential of decent m humanity instead of 10 billion people having to suddenly adjust with the last forseeable year with petro fuels or stop kilming the world. stop taking more grip over our societies industries and market lkke..... I know allegedly 90% media is slapped into air by atleast 1 out of just 6 mega corps. Sl is that lime our clothes are probably boiked up to ROTH brands? ummmm blog 1 i might S sell have gave an essay i worked on a year in the American college system at the podium with the XYZ or funny stain black shirt liike.... Yea l make this mire worth while and if it fails me or i fail i might even try a second blog life. But i realoze the value in these blogs being revved around free introduction to inventions. All the way up to a new style of buildings. lkke really hard to see as anything but futuristic, easier, and better in at least a few distinct ways. #1 perk of this technology given we are not on unlimited resource world but ements kf the housing structure are intact by such a way that it can be reutilized and ultimately there is potential for a no waste technology that reaches every door in the earth thats been done up the new way. Syria Afghanistan ans in general the countries that had devestated ways of lives of countless individual lkves of family members pretty much need to be rebuilt by this building technogy unseen. And the speed should be quicker as well. blog1 the ramble of death. the simplicity in taking base technology and enhancing them with personal and ho.e life is not only missing from our choices but unbelievable how eaay it would seem to accomplish the evidence of .mmm It only seems impossible because its not on tap at any restaurants we know. Partly why i have arranged a vision of my most hoped for life one without its core an office and a desk but one built from the potentials of imagination. Imagination being in part most crucial in expanding reality. Alright next one will be shorter sweet cut and dry. The facts in my peraonel history. ps im paranoid schizo like pretty much everything frim swat teams, demons, and ritualistic annual sacrifice held secretly in the depth expanse of a tunnelways descendance into reality where only one hope has life, that is Lord God mercy.