#therefore she is a semi-milf in the making

[hejee]

doodles ft myrella and solas (two hags talking about nerd stuff)

[fazbearsecuritycrew]

Since it's February, shipping headcanons for any ship in this au?

yes! surprisingly!! ❤️

when they're not fighting for their lives, some of the guards have found themselves fortunate enough to have some form of life in between their shitty low paying jobs and even shitter circumstances in life. 

whether it be estranged wives or cycling through hook-ups like a washing machine performing spin cycles, here are the love lives of the guards (which is more or less general things about romance and not many shipping headcanons):

mike and fritz are known as the “experienced ones” because they’re both known to be in healthy long-term relationships. while fritz has no problem handing out advice to those who ask, mike feels awkward being approached for it since the only relationship he’s ever had is with doll lol

mike could totally never picture himself as a dad. not only did he feel inexperienced since he didn’t have a dad of his own to use as an example, but he just thought he’d do a shitty job. needless to say, when doll got pregnant, he did a complete 180 and not only made a great dad, but would also brag to anyone with ears about his kid

william is into milfs lmao (probably because he was marie’s boy toy)

because jeremy’s parents were a fairly dysfunctional couple themselves, jeremy really admires mike and doll’s relationship and always hopes that any of his relationships are just like theirs (awww)

scott is married to his job

before doll, mike was totally one of those guys who still believed girls had cooties lol

despite fritz acting like a total bachelor because of that playboy personality of his, everyone knows he has a girlfriend. they know she exists because he regularly brings her up, but no one knows what she looks like, or even her name (which is something coming from freddy’s workplace environment, where gossip spreads faster than a burning wildfire). 

anytime they would see her, she’d always be wearing a baseball cap or stand somewhere where her features weren’t very visible. she’s about mike’s height though, so nobody passed up the opportunity to make fun of the fact that fritz is shoulder-level to his girlfriend lmao

(it makes sense why fritz never mentioned her name, because his gf is actually a semi-famous “adult model.” they met while he was bartending at his other job. he’s now known as the lucky guy who gets to date a hot model.)

everyone knows that mercy and luke are fuck buddies lol

i feel like kentris and mercy would also hate fuck each other as well (enemies to lovers style) had kentris not been a by-the-book asexual 

i’ve always imagined that eggs would probably scared of relationships. like as he got older he’d probably want a family of his own, but i feel like he would have been scared of turning out to be exactly like his dad, and therefore never let himself fall in love :(

in fact, maintenance at freddy’s is largely regarded as the “bachelor’s role.” all three members of that staff (eggs, gray/ryan, and fritz) either were/assumed to be bachelors. 

ff crew is OT4

henry actually had the most stable and loving marriage ever and it was ripped from his hands so brutally i don’t think the man would ever consider love again LMAO

mike would have totally been one of those guys whose face earns him a lot of attention from ladies had the resting expression on his face not been genuinely terrifying (lucky for doll though since that means no competition!) 

lukas can actually be incredibly romantic and is probably the most romantic out of all the guards. he’s very expressive with how he feels and touch is his language of love <3

and that’s the love lives of the guards ���🧸

[awesomegaydar-a]

meta: blaine anderson

i’m gonna take the liberty to make this a meta about my verse with @impromptusongs bc jj’s blaine is santana’s best friend in any and all semi-canon or canon verses, and later i’ll write a meta about canon BA.

blaine’s parents are polar opposites, you’ve come to learn. even when you were a child, five years old and pushing a little blaine anderson off the swings so you could claim them as your throne, you always noticed that there was something missing. when you were little, you were too young to understand it, even after forming a bond with him that you will later come to realize, was a gift from god himself. his father (much like that side of his family), was either absent, or hostile, and while he was never particularly virulent towards you (you would later also learn that he was all about status, and your father had it, therefore mr. anderson never had a reason to be vicious), he was towards blaine and elizabeth.

elizabeth anderson on the other hand, was the poster child for the mother everyone wished they could have; she was nurturing, friendly, and loved blaine more than she loved anything she could ever possess. she was warm, like sunshine, always hugged you when you rang the bell to their house in the mornings. even as you two grew up together, literally and figuratively, she never greeted you with anything but open arms and a bright smile.

blaine was, on all intents and purposes, different. not in a bad way, no, and not because he was significantly less bitchy than you – actually, you were always sure blaine didn’t have a mean bone in his body. to be fair, there were only two people in the world who could keep up with your banter, and while blaine didn’t fall into that category, he knew you. absurdly so. even when you moved from westerville to lima to be closer to your dad’s new job at the local hospital and he enrolled you in william mckinley high school, and blaine’s mom enrolled him at dalton academy.

in an alternate universe, a twisted world, you and blaine were mr. anderson’s pristine picture of the perfect arranged marriage. you were the daughter of a wealthy surgeon and not to mention, loaded, and blaine needed someone who would make him change his mind about the reason he was different. except no one expected you to also be different. no one, except for blaine, who always knew there was a reason you bit noah puckerman’s tongue at that party you invited him to your freshman year of high school, or why you never crazed over boy bands or swooned over ryan goslin’s suave conquest of rachel mcadams in the notebook.

you came out of the closet around the same time he did, not because you were following him by example, but because you knew that if blaine had the courage to come out to his father, to face the consequences that would inevitably surface if he knew he liked boys in any way, shape, or form, then you could do it too. elizabeth accepted him without circumstance, loved him for who he was, but blaine’s tryst with homosexuality seemed to draw an even deeper hole between him and the rapidly fading relationship he had with his dad.

your coming out experience had been differently, naturally. both of your parents, who claimed had always known (mainly because of the way you stared at quinn fabray whenever she was over), were supportive. you were lucky. blaine had his mother, but even if his dad hadn’t particularly disowned him (just ignored his sexuality all together), you always knew how much it affected him. even when he wouldn’t tell you – you knew, you always knew.

you would meet up for your weekly coffee at a local shop in westerville, or he would make the drive to lima in turn, to have his usual at the lima bean. he was the only person in lima you could ever really open up to. perhaps it was the longevity of your friendship, the fact that he’s the only boy who ever saw you in your underwear without making a crude, perverted comment about your tits, or the fact that he was sort of your platonic soulmate. if you were a man, a gay man, blaine would be exactly the kind of guy you would chase after. even your parents loved him.

sometimes it was easy to think your own mother loved blaine more than she loved you, but blaine liked to claim the same thing about his mother. maybe because as time went by, you traded mrs. andersons for elizabeths and flirted with her whenever you had the chance (hall of fame, MILF) – not that you would ever go there, it was all fun and games and she was a hot mom, but you mostly did it to watch the irritated look on blaine’s face whenever you made elizabeth blush. in the end, you never saw her as more than a mother figure, and blaine was like the brother you never had. most importantly, he was your best friend, through thick and thin.

you never introduced him to your all of your friends in wmhs; most people assumed quinn and brittany were your besties, and though that was partially true (even blaine had taking to calling you three the unholy trinity even if he had never stepped ground in public school), they were still the only two people at school who knew about your friendship with blaine. not because you were ashamed, actually, you were proud and thankful to have such a great friend like him, but because exposing that part of yourself, exposing your past and personal details with people who didn’t deserve it, was too raw and emotional for you to face head on.

that is, until rachel berry’s train wreck of a house party. most people assumed blaine knew kurt (wrong), but when you threw your arms around him in a sloppy, drunken hug that night, it was clear to everyone that you had secrets. unbeknownst to them, you’ve always had them.

people feared you, but blaine didn’t. he never did. even when he branded you with the nickname SNIX during your junior year (your evil alter ego who liked going all shawshank on your peers) after an altercation with rick the stick nelson and his posse of hockey players at the lima bean that ended with a broken nose and cracked knuckles. even if you had power, and status at william mckinley, ohio was still ohio, and the midwest was plagued with homophobic baboons, prejudiced republicans, and extremists who would never accept you two for who you were because they lacked the brain cells to think like a progressive human being.

your friendship was never complicated in the way your relationships with others was. you never had any intention of harming in, in fact, you were fiercely protective of his well being. even when he enrolled in william mckinley (unsure whether it was to be close to you or be close to kurt – who wasn’t a fan of your friendship despite blaine’s reiteration that you were in fact, not the person he thought you were). you never felt the need to use him for status, never felt the need to blackmail him or use him as your plot device to further your academic career.

he would sit with you for hours on end when you were crying over a girl and you would sit with him whenever he needed to vent about his family. evermore, he became a constant presence in your life. he attended lopez family christmas events, drank spiked eggnog, and smoked pot with you by the window in your dimly lit room until you were too high to go downstairs and pretend you were sober. you were always gracefully invited to his family soirees, fancy dinner parties, and important events. you went on family vacations together – your parents and elizabeth, or elizabeth and the two of you – and stole your parents’ SUV to get drunk with your fake ID’s and find a waffle house that would willingly accept two drunken 18 year olds at their tables.

he was the ultimate insider in your life. the type of girls you like and the type of girls you don’t. the brand of coffee you think tastes like piss and how you add triple sec to sangrias made with 8 dollar bottles of wine that shouldn’t even be branded as wine. he was after all, your god send.