#there's too much setup towards it having meaning for their relationship

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[lu-is-not-ok]

Seems a popular theory now going around is that Hong Lu is a homunculus/something similar to that/or that there are multiple versions of his body with the original mind "the eye". I think it's a fair theory to believe since its been revealed H Corp is based on life + his previous musings on the connection with consciousness, mind and body. Any thoughts on that? :o

I have. Complicated feelings about it to say the least. I personally think it's an example of people finding and correctly identifying clues and patterns, but ending up with incomplete or wrong conclusions.

The idea of Hong Lu's body being one his consciousness doesn't originally belong in is one I've been using as one of the major elements of my Two in One theory even before H Corp's full name was revealed. I agree that it's very likely that Hong Lu or Baoyu's consciousness is being stored in his eye and that it can and has been transferred to a different body.

I also think this theory is very much onto something regarding the possibility that Hong Lu's being is sort of "engineered" to become the perfect heir. Fitting for the nature of H Corp as well as the Jias' implied overly controlling attitude, and explaining why all of Hong Lu's siblings hate Him in particular - because his existence as someone the Elders are specifically molding into the perfect successor means their own chances at becoming proper heirs are heavily limited.

However, it's the conclusion of Hong Lu being a homunculus or straight up not human that I don't necessarily agree with. For multiple reasons.

For one, there is very little existing setup to that kind of reveal. We've had setups to Hong Lu's disconnect with his body and weird relationship with his Identity. We've had setups to a potentially dual nature of his self. Hell, we've had setups to the Jia Family being overly controlling and treating him like literal property. But there's nothing to imply he's not human, the way we had foreshadowing to Don Quixote being a Bloodfiend.

For two, I feel like that would overlap too much with other characters' arcs. Mainly, Don Quixote. Donqui's character arc already heavily revolves around her desperately reaching out towards the dream of becoming more human despite her nature as a Bloodfiend. Having another character so soon after her whose deal also is that he's not human and wants to be one is just. Not something I could see PM doing considering how much they've changed when adapting WH in Canto 6 for the sake of avoiding overlap with DOTRC in Canto 8.

And for three, and possibly the biggest gripe I have with this theory, is that it goes against the commentary that PM is setting up for Canto 8. The Jia Family and by extension H Corp are being set up to be people who heavily objectify fellow humans. They treat other people like objects, notably treating Baoyu/Hong Lu like a gem, a treasure they own. With such heavy themes of objectification, you know what would be the stupidest writing decision anyone in their shoes could do? To make that objectification justified by making Hong Lu not actually human.

[iscdisc]

You and your gorgeous TMNT art make me ship everything you ship. You could tell me to ship the most outrageous thing, draw it, and I would ship it. Like the most grotesque thing. I would love it. You are brilliant. May I ask for the fics you are reading and/or you have read?

Well I hope I wouldn't ship anything grotesque or that you feel would be grotesque- 💀😭 Lmao

But I get what you mean and that's incredibly flattering ! I hope everybody that engages with my content knows that I'm not trying to necessarily convince anybody to enjoy the pairings that I enjoy, but if you happen to click with my perspective whether it's from my art or from me talking about them, that's really cool to me !! ☺️✨

And sure ! I'll list some that I'm currently reading or have read recently that I really enjoyed ! I'll even include some that I plan to or started but haven't gotten very far yet- :

• "And It All Starts Again" (by Non_Parsimonious | Currently reading-)

I'm starting with this one because it is absolutely peak- Are you serious?? I'm telling you right now, this should have been Season 5 instead OR if the 2012 series had ever gotten the opportunity to have a film adaptation and it actually be well done narratively, this should have been that movie- I'm TELLING YOU, this story is absolutely phenomenal and I'm already in the process of making art for it to promote it ! 🫶 || I'm not going to spoil too much because I really want people to read it for themselves, but there's so much stress and angst that kind of pushes the narrative for that I'm just eating up because I enjoy those kinds of stories ! But if that's not your cup of tea, then feel free to skip this one-! 👍✨

• "Thoughts About A Boy" (by @jaywritezshitz | Currently reading-)

Maybe I talked about this one enough already, but I'd love to talk about it some more because it's a really great 2012 Jonatello story and I think it's incredibly well written !! I love the premise, I love the character interactions (Especially with April and Donnie, which says a lot in regards to myself because that's usually something I don't particularly enjoy because of canon / not fanon- /,, 😭), I love the build up and the constant anticipation that I feel waiting for confessions or for Donnie's letters to be weaved back into the narrative in the least expected way possible (Not to give too much away, because I really encourage you guys to read it for yourselves-), like !! There's just so much to enjoy with this one, and I really encourage people to read it cause I personally think it's really phenomenal !

• "Oh, Where'd All The Time Go?" (by @tae-rhymeswithslay | I plan on reading this one-)

My memory is kind of foggy with this one, because I swear I started reading the first couple of chapters but when I went back to confirm that I have read the story before it didn't feel familiar-?? So maybe I meant to read it and I thought I'd started it but I hadn't yet? 😭

But you're going to see a couple of Tae_rhymeswithslay entries on here, because I do enjoy their stories ! 👍✨

• "Purple Hokey" (by Ani_Wagner_7w7 | Have already read-)

The setup for this particular 2012 Jonatello fanfiction feels very authentic to the show, in the sense that this is a situation I can absolutely see the writers putting them in (Not that they were the biggest Jonatello enthusiast, but you get my point-), you know? LMAO / It sort of felt like a cliche trope but done well ! It does ramp up a little maturity wise towards the end, just to give a heads up for that-! But otherwise it's just a cute story in my opinion ! ✨

• "Of the Same Cloth, the Same Coin" by Kazegami | Currently reading-)

Another incredibly peak story- Are you kidding?? I genuinely get so happy every time the story gets updated because it's one of my favorites ! The premise is that Casey asked Donnie for help with his school tutoring since April's going on a trip with her father for a few weeks, so of course they build a better relationship through constantly being around each other due to this tutoring situation ! Another kind of trope-like premise, but how the author tackles it is my favorite thing ever- I also really enjoy how April is written in the story as well and the sort of subplot that's going on with her ! I swear these writers do such an incredible job with her character and it makes me both happy and upset at the same time because why couldn't she have been like this in the show? I don't know- 💀 Lmao / But another story that I highly recommend !!

• "Technicolor" (by SecurityTape | Have read already-)

This is one that I genuinely was not expecting to read, since I'm not the biggest fan of crossover pairings (Not that they're necessarily bad, they just don't always interest me in the way I feel the interest of the people-!), but this one was really charming !! I really enjoyed the writing of both Rise! Donnie and 2012 Casey in the work of fiction ! It really reminded me of how much I missed the energy of Rise! and that I need to rewatch that version more because it genuinely is very funny- 😭✨

• "A Kiss As A Prize" (by Mili_8a | Have read already-)

This is one of the few 2012 Raphril fanfictions I've read / found on AO3 that I really enjoyed ! It's pretty short, but the premise was really cute and there's such a shortage of Raphril content in my eyes, so anything that I find I'm pretty much going to eat it up immediately- LMAO ❤️💛

• "Northampton Echoes" (by Gladrial | Currently reading-)

I barely started a chapter of this last night, and I already love the writing so far ! It takes place at The O'Neil Farmhouse (So far at least-), which I find particularly enjoyable because a lot of my Raphril centric thoughts in regards to building their dynamic / better establishing a connection between them starts in The Farmhouse in my head (I actually have this whole comic that I was trying to make talking about how I felt certain things during The Farmhouse Arc should have played out differently in my opinion and it mostly focuses around April and Raph- Maybe I'll bring that up at some point on here !), so I'm already pretty enthralled in this story set up so far ! I don't have much to say about it besides that though, because like I said I haven't gotten too far into the store yet-! But there's 19 chapters so far, and I already know that that's probably not going to be enough for me- LMAO

• "The Day The World Broke" (by @saladmix | Started reading this one-)

I feel like an asshole, because I started reading this one like months ago and I just never picked it up again and I don't know why- I think I might have gotten distracted with other things going on? I genuinely don't remember- But seeing people talk about it on here (Tumblr) reminded me that I need to go back and read that because the story is incredible ! I genuinely loved the first couple of chapters that I read ! I love the dynamic that they were setting up between the Mutant Mayhem Brothers in the beginning of the story, especially since I feel like (at the time anyway-) the MM / TOTTMNT brothers weren't getting a lot of love or attention from people?? I didn't get into the more plot focused chapters yet, but I believe I was close ! So hopefully I'll go back and read that soon I'll have more to talk about ! 👍✨ (Sorry for the abrupt tag by the way, Saladmix ! I hope that was okay-!)

• "My Best Enemy Is You" (by Aethernight | Have already read-)

I didn't think I was going to like this story as much as I did, because I'm not super into vampire stories, but this story was really good !! I never knew how much I needed Vampiric 2012 Jonatello (But in the context of the story, Donnie's the vampire, where Casey's a vampire hunter-) set in like the 1800s (??) before now, it's wild- 🦇💜🖤

• "Something Dumb To Do" (by Aleaf737 | Have read already-)

This is another really short and sweet one for 2012 Jonatello ! It's about a marriage proposal and it honestly was really wholesome ! ✨

• "One Nice Moment" (by @tae-rhymeswithslay | Have read already-)

Another kind of short one but it was really cute ! 💜🖤

• "Make Me A Promise Here Tonight (Love Like A Tidal Wave" (by Imthebest_ever | Have read already-)

This one spoke to me immediately because it involves a sort of aftermath to the episode, "The Power Inside Her" ! I really liked the narrative here ! ✨

• "Ink On Paper" (by @tae-rhymeswithslay | Have read already-)

This is another short story, but it felt so in character for Donnie towards the end it's so upsetting- LMAO

• "Arnold Bernid "Casey" Jones" (by @tae-rhymeswithslay | Have read already-)

I feel bad for saying the same things about a lot of Tae's works, but they really are just short and sweet most of the time and I enjoy reading them a lot !! This one in particular had a lot of humorous moments as well- 😭👍✨

Hopefully those are enough ! There are probably some that I'm forgetting at this point, but oh well,, 😭 Lmao

[buubonita]

What do you think the bad sanses love languages are? Like physical touch, gift giving, etc

Well this is a hard one to define. Mainly because it will be an answer based on what I understand of the characters and not so much if it is canon appropriate or not.

But canon doesn't matter.

BSP displays of affection, do you mean between them or towards each other? I still can't figure out how they work together. So I'll talk in general.

I think Killer has no idea what it is to give affection. And if he does, his ideas must be distorted by his own experiences. The closest thing to a display of affection he could have is to warn others from the knowledge he has about his environment and the people around him if that can avoid an unpleasant moment (I go back to that post where I said he would advise Dust and Horror about Nightmare and when or how to handle him)

I don't see either of them being physically affectionate. Killer touches others as a method of keeping himself grounded rather than with a good intention. I'd say it depends on the state of his soul but I'm not sure either (state 3 and 4 seem to be prone to extreme violence and 1 is the full awareness of guilt eating away at the poor guy)

Killer doesn't have the best references when it comes to giving affection either. If we think of a setup where Murder and Horror are there as "toys" that Nightmare gave to Killer, I can see him translating Nightmare's behaviors to the two of them.

Though who knows, maybe he can learn a thing or two from the right person.

Murder and Horror seem to be the most willing to do something terrible in the name of those they love the most.

Horror doesn't seem like the gushing type at all, Sans didn't usually be either but he showed his affection for his brother in small gestures (reading to him before bed, helping him make costumes for his party, peeling an apple for him) so I think he would follow that same pattern of doing small things, niceties to take care of who he cares about. Maybe he knows Dust has a favorite color and gives him a gift of that color, or maybe he lets Killer name his weapons and addresses them that way.

Small nonsense but it makes it known that he is there.

What I do see as a form of affection, and partly because his memory fails, is that Horror gives nicknames to the people he hangs out with. The more nicknames, the more dear they are to him.

I also don't see him touching anyone so openly. Maybe on rare occasions and they are simple touches like punches or pats.

However, he is not above hurting or simply ignoring their personal desires and convictions. He fed his brother human flesh despite Papyrus telling him he didn't want to, he lied to the entire town about a new policy because he didn't want to take responsibility for things getting screwed up because of him, and he condemned his friends (although he is not the only one to blame) to a screwed up life.

Nightmare.

All of Nightmare's "displays of affection" lead to violence. Nightmare can't feel healthy affection for anyone in his corrupted state. I think even if he wanted to love someone, he'd end up hurting them.

I've said this before, but Nightmare would definitely compliment anyone in the group while they're dying because he finds their pain "too irresistible."

Becoming the object of Nightmare's affection only brings more pain unfortunately.

In a healthy version it's even hard to determine, because the best mercy Nightmare could give the MTT is to let them go. While some like to explore the idea of ​​Nightmare striving to improve, I personally like that but it also depends on how heinous Nightmare's actions have been and trying to determine if it makes sense for the rest of the MTT to trust his promise of wanting to change for the better.

If he did change for the better, their relationship wouldn't stop being complicated. There are no perfect relationships, there will always be instances of tension between parties even in the best of times and it's a matter of everyone involved doing their part to make it work. Relationships are not one-sided and one person cannot and does not have to bear all the responsibility.

It would be nice to see, if Nightmare were to redeem himself, teach others to better manage their "negative" emotions in less destructive and healthier ways. And above all learn to respect everyone's personal boundaries.

Nightmare would be fine with physical contact if he was the one to initiate it, I think. He would have to trust someone a lot to let them touch him and it wouldn't last long.

And lastly there's Dust.

I really like the idea that Dust writes. He doesn't know how to voice his feelings very well so he's better at writing them down. Maybe little notes left in the space of the people he cares about, even if they're just loose sentences, it doesn't take a lot of words to express great things when it comes to feelings.

And sometimes saying I love you feels like an impossible feat or something sacred that not many feel ready for.

Dust and physical contact don't get along very well either, but I like to think that sometimes he would initiate contact, leaning on his companions to make himself noticed and know that he is there.

I hope this satisfies you, anon! Thank you for your ask, i have fun braining all this.

[ch3rriiii-bunn]

Hiii! I was really hoping you could do an nsfw / fluff Kokushibo x fem! Reader and Kokushibo comes home after a long day and he was feeling like he wants to relieve stress by having sex with his wife. (aka the reader)

I really hope this made sense to you because I’m not the best with words.

Btw I really liked the Overstimulated/praise (I think is what it was) with giyuu!

After hours

Paring: Kokushibou x Fem!reader

Synopsis: taking his and your stress away

Content: Modern day au, husband Michikatsu, ceo husband, assistant wife, mention of drinking wine but no one is drunk. just a buzz, light fluff, sex on the couch, praising, spurting, light aftercare, pussy drunk Michikatsu, mating press

Word count: 2.1k

A/n: AHH THANK U!! yall have no idea how much I giggled writing that giyuu fic🤭

Working in the same company as your husband was great. You both made good money, had great positions in your field of work, and had the support of staff members in the company when you announced your engagement years ago. Although, some suspected the relationship between you two would escalate since it's common for a ceo to have a thing for his assistant

You and Michikatsu, of course, learned to keep your personal life separate from work life. However, life always has its ups and downs, and for these past couple of months, work has been piling up more than usual. Work was stressing you both out lately, especially Michikatsu. The number of projects and overtime you both had to do definitely delayed any personal time. Luckily, you finished your work early on a Friday evening, and you told Michikatsu.

He frowned. That means you were able to go home now that you've completed your work, but he was reluctant to let you go. "Can't you stay a bit longer?" Kokushibou firmly said, trying to stay professional, but he just couldn't. He wanted you to stay longer and tried to find some reason for not leaving him just yet. You raised your brow with a soft smirk on your face.

"I didn't know you've gotten so attached me to at work. We're supposed to keep this professional, Mr. Tsugikuni," you teased. Michikatsu's eyes softened at you, along with his facial expression. "You're my assistant. Yet you're also my wife. Is it so bad I'm attached to you, even during work hours, Mrs. Tsugikuni?" Michikatsu replied with his brow raised at you.

You chuckled. "It's not bad, my love. However, I do want to go home now. I love your company, but if I stay in this building any longer, I'll scream," You sarcastically say, but you needed to take this chance and go home. "You should hurry up too. We've been basically living here in this building with the amount of overtime we've been doing," you grinned and gave Michikatsu a pleading look.

Michikatsu stayed silent for a moment before letting out a sharp sigh. "Okay. I'll try and finish early. See you when I get home," Michikatsu leaned back in his chair, stretching before getting back to his room after exchanging his goodbyes with you. His eyes watched as you left, admiring you, his beautiful wife, but then his eyes watched how your hips swayed as you walked, especially in the black shirt and your black tights hugging your legs.

"Fuck... okay okay, back to work. No more distractions," Michikatsu said to himself. Hours went by, and Michikatsu was done. It was 8:30pm when he finished and then arrived at his shares home with you at 9pm. "I'm home," Michikatsu announced his arrival as he came inside the house, taking off his shoes and coat. "Hi! Come in the living room." You peek your head from around the coner and gesture for him to come towards you.

Michikatsu made his way to the living room, tired out of his mind to argue, and then, his eyes lit up a bit. He wasn't expecting a dinner since you and him ate before at the office. However, he wasn't expecting you to have this romantic setup. You had some candles lit, they smelled like vanilla, and you had two glasses of wine set on the mini table in front of the couch, next to a bottle of wine.

You smiled at Michikatsu. His lips curled into an upside, and he made his way towards you. His hands reach out to your waist and pull you close to him and give you a peck on the lips. "You know you could've taken my card to buy the wine," he reminded you, but you shook your head. "You spoil me. So let me spoil you tonight." You smiled at him. Michikatsu got a bit flustered, and you even saw how his cheeks started to turn pink. Now, having a small blush on his face.

"I should go shower-" "no~ come stay here with me. You're acting like you're all sweaty or something," you playfully sniffed Michikatsu, and he chuckled. He placed his hand on your head, petting you for a moment before sitting down on the couch. Once seated, you poured wine for you both and then handed Michikatsu his glass.

You both did a cheers and sipped on the drinks. Michikatsu wasn't one to always start a conversation. He only spoke when needed and always let you start and carry the conversations. He felt the buzz in his body from the wine, and he sure you felt it too since you seem more relaxed instead of being hyper focused like you would at work.

Michikatsu put his arm around you, listening to you speak, but his eyes just wondered your face. From your lips, cheeks, nose, and all over, he just couldn't get enough. It's like his mind was somewhere else. You continue rambling about date ideas. You suggest multiple date ideas for future days off and even suggesting kokushibo to try out new hobbies with you.

You pause midway through your sentence and raise your brow at Michikatsu. "Are you listening?" You asked, holding your half empty glass and paying more attention to his gaze upon you. He was so close, and it felt like you were about to have your first kiss all over again just from his gaze, looking like he wanted to kiss you right now.

Michikatsu nodded. "Uh huh... yeah, painting sounds nice to do on the weekend," he said as his tone got slowly. He had to think to himself while staring into your eyes. How long has it been since he was this close to you other than sleeping next to you in the bed and besides kissing you Good morning and goodnight.

Work really held him back from you, and he realized that. "Everything okay, Michi.. ooh," his name faded slowly from your lips once his hand moved its way to your tit and cupped it in his large hand gently. Michikatsu was so close to you now. His touch and this tension was enough to make it feel like the room got hotter. Michikatsu gave you tit a squeeze before letting it go and placing his hand on your back.

"You're beautiful," he said, putting his wine glass down and cupping your cheek with his other hand and having your body lean back a bit on the couch. "You picked a good night to wear these shorts. You have such pretty legs," he said seductively, pushing you down light onto the couch to be above you. "Michikatsu~" you whispered, closing your eyes as you feel his hand find its way to your inner thigh and grabbing your flesh.

"Even at work. You wear the same office uniform but to see you in your skirt and tights today? It took everything out of me to not rip them off and have my way with you on my desk," his deep voice whispered against your ear. You hold onto his shoulders, feeling your body heat up and bit your bottom lip, holding back a moan once his lips made contact with your neck.

His kisses her so soft for a few moments until he really started to get into it. His breaths become heavier, and you gasped once you felt his lips apply more pressure with each kiss kiss. "I want you, i need you," his voice rasped and restrained himself from continuing until you answered him. "Can we do it? I want to make you feel so good on my cock" Michikatsu's hands hold onto your hips as he slowly grinds himself over your clothed cunt.

"Mhm~ mm," you nod quickly, rolling your hips up to match the rhythm of his grind. "No. I need words, love. Tell me you want it~" Michikatsu said between hitched breaths as he grinded his growing election harder. "I want you. I want you, Michikatsu~" You looked at him, your eyes half yet looking at him with such need. "Good girl." Michikatsu grinned and went back to kissing your neck while having his hands go up your top.

"Careful with the biting, you'll leave marks," you warned Michikatsu with a soft whine, but he only chuckles. "Are you worried others at the office will notice them? Fine. I'll leave my marks where no one but you and I can see them." he smirked, lifing up your shirt over your tips and stopped at your collar bone. "No bra? It's like you wanted me all a long, haven't you, babe? " Michikatsu licked his lips and helped you take off your top and throwing it to the side.

Michikatsu pulled your shorts, along with your panties off, and brought his lips to your tit where. His lips captured your hard nipple in his mouth and began to swirl his tongue around it lightly before sucking on it. Your back arches from his tough, and you moaned with some grunts mixed in once his mouth sucked on random parts around your tits, biting and sucking until the spots turned a deep purple.

"Open your legs for me, sweetheart." Michikatsu pushed his hand between your opening legs, placing three fingers on your pussy and began to rub your clit in big, slow cirlces. "I've kept you pent up, haven't I? You're already this wet for me," Michikatsu hummed as he went to suck on your other nipple. "Michikatsu, Michikatsu~" you moaned his name with heavy breaths as your hips roll in circles to his touch.

"Easy baby. You'll have me soon enough. Be a good girl and cum for me frist" Michikatsu's fingers begin to move in faster cirlces and applying more pressure. "Cum for me and I'll give you this cock you've been so hungry for" Michikatsu said as his jaw clenched, feeling your wetness on his fingertips and your thobbing clit.

You've grown so sensitive from the pent-up sexual frustration that you were close already. His words alone were enough to push you over the edge. Just the thought of having your husband's cock inside you after so long drove you crazy and had you cumming in seconds. Michikatsu's fingers rubbed your clit faster until you were holding onto his muscular biceps and your mouth hung open with loud moans as you cum.

"That's it. You did so well, so proud of you. Ride it out on my fingers, baby." Michikatsu slowed down his finger motions until you calmed down from your orgasm and placed a sweet kiss on your cheek. Michikatsu quickly moved his hand away to hurry and unbuckle his belt and to free his hard cock from his pants, not being able to take his pants tightening around it anymore.

Once his cock was free, you saw it stand tall with its usual curve and looking even bigger then you last remembered. Michikatsu already had pre cum oozing from the tip and he grabbed his cock and smered his pre cum around on your pussy. He wasted no time, he watched you as he put his tip inside and then thrusting his hips forward to yours to get all of his cock balls deep inside you.

"Holy shit- fuck" Michikatsu let out a shaking, deeply moean once he was inside and gripped onto the back of your thighs tightly. He leaned forward, making his pelvis press down on yours. You cry out in the overalwhelming pleasure already, but Michikatsu kissed your lips. "Are you ok, my love?" He asked, refraining from thrusting his hips, but instead, he gives thigh thrusts, humping you softly and waiting until you're okay for him to move.

"Yeah~ keep goin'," you whined, and your head falls back onto the pillow. Your arms wrapped around Michikatsu's back and your nails digged into his dress shirt as he thrust his hips, moaning with each thrust from his big, curved cock hitting your gapot repeatedly. Michikatsu couldn't even wait to undress himself fully. He needed you now. He wanted to fuck you, he needed too.

"Come here," kokushibo muttered and leaned in for a sloppy, heated kiss. Hearing kokushibo's deep moans and his whimpers in the kiss and his tounge, French kissing with you made your pussy throb. Your pussy clenches down on his cock and Michikatsu slowed down his thrusts for a moment and pulled away from the kiss, having a thin line of Silvia connecting you two for the moment.

"I got too carried away and didn't realize how these clothes are restricting my moments," Michikatsu pulled down his pants and almost ripped off his dress shirt off his body. You admire his musclar physique and even caress your hand over his pecs. "Hold these for me, sweetheart. I'm going to fuck you harder" Michikatsu pushed your legs back and then grabbed your hands to put them on the back of your thighs.

He wanted you to hold your legs back for him and before you could fully processes anything eles, he had already put his cock back inside you and immediately, his thrusts were much faster and much more rough. You moan loudly, his skin was slapping against yours and you heard the sounds of your wet pussy every time Michikatsu's cock thrusted in and out of you.

"Oh listen to those sweet moans. Moan for me baby, scream for me. Let the neighbors here just how good I'm fucking my pretty, sexy wife. Fuucckk~ your pussy feels so good. So good~" Michikatsu's said as his moans slowly turned into whimpers from how good your pussy was making him feel. He brought a hand to your pussy and used his thumb to rub your clit while fucking you and his other hand gripping onto the couch cushion.

"Kokushibo! I'm gonna~ haa" you announced your close, you look down to see your slick coated on Michikatsu's cock and had your mouth hung open with loud moans. "Yeah? Cum. Now," he demanded, clenching his jaw and watching how your tits bounced with his powerful thrusts. "Let me feel it. Get me soaked in your cum" Michikatsu grunts, spitting out more of his dirty words at you while rubbing your clit faster and his heavy balls slapping against your hole.

He lets out a loud groan as he feels you clenched even tighter, almost not letting him go. You squirted, you whimpered, feeling your juices leak down your hole, and some even get on Michikatsu's thighs. "Yeah~ that's what I wanted." Michikatsu pushed your hands away from your thighs and held your legs back in a V shape, caging you in as he put you in a mating press position and pounds his cock inside.

"So close. Oh fuck baby, Gonna fill you up. Gonna, You. Up- fuck, fuck aaah!~" Michikatsu choked on a moan and whispered loudly as he slams into you, making his tip kiss your cervix as he releases his thick load inside you. There was a lot of his cum spilling inside. You catch your breath with Michikatsu and moaned as you feel some of his cum leak out, even with him still inside.

Michikatsu catches his breath, his musclar thighs even trembling after finally cumming and pulled out slowly. Kokushibo watched as you legs rest and he leaned down to give each of your knees a kiss. "I'll clean the mess up." He said and you both had a small laugh. Kokushibo grabbed some tissues to help clean you up down there so not so much of his cum would leak out as he picked you up and began to head upstairs.

"I could've walked up the stairs to take a bath, Michikatsu." You rest your head on his shoulder and have your arms wrapped around him. "Who said we were done?" Michikatsu asked, and you tensed up. He wasn't done? He wanted more? You looked at him for a moment and then saw him take you to the bedroom.

"I got us an off day tomorrow. So let's keep fucking until we pass out" kokushibo smirked and shut the door behind him.

[mrinafria]

Seen some viewers not liking The Judge from Hell for different reasons, and I think I kind of get why (just my guess). Also, disclaimer (in case it's not obvious enough): I respect and am fine with anyone disagreeing with me and not liking the show for whatever reason.

If you've watched The Devil Judge, then The Judge from Hell is not that. Unlike The Devil Judge, it doesn't have a dark, grim, ominous setup that stays true to that heavy vibe till the end. If you've watched Lucifer, it's not that either. Close but also not really. Unlike Lucifer, The Judge from Hell hasn't shown us an anti-hero/anti-heroine who, underneath the charisma and confidence and tricks and looks, is full of self-loathing, unprocessed angst and human-like emotions. I'm just going off of the 8 episodes of TJFH aired so far. Unlike Lucifer, Justitia doesn't seem to display a subconscious desire not to be misunderstood and abandoned, nor does she feel complex emotions about humans and humanity (it's just starting with Daon she still has a long way to go). We don't see a Fallen/Demon with a semblance of a moral compass here.

Even her "I trust what children say" doesn't mean much because she doesn't do that out of some morality; to her, it's just facts that children are the least crafty and least vile amongst humans. Justitia is very mechanical (and petty even) in what she does- she's not on some great self-discovery or redemption journey in here to even entertain the notion of humanity or morality. If we expect such nuance from her so early on in the story, we maybe setting ourselves up for disappointment. Y'all she's been doing this for Lord knows HOW many hundred years. It's not her first gig. If you have been having coffee at night despite being an insomniac for like three decades, it's highly likely you'd stop thinking or caring about the morality, the 'rightness' of drinking coffee even when it destroys your health.

It's like that for her, to the point where she can, in fact, treat every murder, every crime, every criminal lightly. She's been the judge, jury and executioner all along, and that's the job she needs to do well on earth too. As audience, we may be living on earth longer than she's been but the moment Justitia stepped in, it became 'her world' that we're now getting a peek at.

She's not some vigilante or messiah; just an eccentric, murdering demon from hell who likes Z cola and a pretty wardrobe and Han Daon too- what's wrong with that lol. I remember seeing similar sentiments when Vincenzo was on, because some felt the comedy and humor didn't go well with the overall theme, with a psycho CEO committing all kinds of crimes+ ML's childhood grief and mafia ptsd+ revenge etc. I feel like it was a conscious choice not to make the show so heavy or serious, despite the subject matter. TJFH feels like it treats heavy stuff casually because it is mostly shown through Justitia's lens, and so far, SHE has been treating heavy stuff casually. She really doesn't feel anything emotionally for the girl being in an abusive relationship, or the child being with that horrible excuse of a stepmom. All she sees are the sinners and their sins, and whether they can help her fulfill her mission.

But even that is changing now, gradually, with Justitia/Kang Bitna starting to feel more and more human emotions (props to Daon).

Now, could we have gotten a more nuanced character arc with a serious undertone? Maybe yes, maybe no. The story is yet to unfold fully so I say it's too early to decide that? However, three things that come to mind are: 1. kdramas generally don't get seasons unlike TV series in the US or UK, to explore things gradually with each season geared towards a certain theme or development. Lucifer did what it did in six seasons. 2. I've noticed that unless it's a super horror, super apocalyptic or dystopian show, kdramas like to incorporate humor in their story no matter what genre it is (even shows like The Light in Your Eyes or Moon Lovers or Hi Bye, Mama have their lighthearted moments). Kdramas aren't perfect. Different shows become perfect to different audiences because of their personal preferences. I watch the show because the trailers promised us a fantasy drama with angst between the leads, because it gives me a good laugh, and also maybe because a small part in me kinda sorta lives vicariously through Justitia's ultimate reckoning lol.

I'm actually glad it's not a heavy show because the stuff they've shown so far can be quite disturbing and triggering and I'd be very hesitant to proceed with it if that were the case. 3. I think it's also okay to acknowledge that not all writers/creatives would prefer to do the research needed to pull off certain themes, nuanced character arcs and dynamic, which can leave some viewers wanting more out of a character/show too.

It's fine not to like a hyped drama or a character (happens to me too). But in my opinion, the show is delivering what it promised to deliver initially, and I'm glad it is.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 | New Year's Special ✨️

In which Jungkook gets distracted.. by you, as always.

Tags/Warnings: Game Designer!Jungkook, Non Idol AU, established relationship, fluff, smut

Length: 1k Words

There is no taglist for this fic.

Callob with @euphoricfilter

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

New years is always a special occasion for you both.

Due to the fact that you kind of forgot at this point at what time and date you began to start dating, new years marks always another year of your relationship, and is celebrated as such. A new milestone, an anniversary, and a day of aiming for another full year together in the future.

You've already eaten, had a beer or two, before you technically wanted to watch the new year’s fireworks from your apartment’s small balcony. But, as always, things don’t go to plan-

So instead, right now, you’re busy with each other, his hands underneath your baggy shirt as he kisses you silly, thoroughly immersed in you. He’s complained the entire last week of this year about the fact that he’s still behind on his app, and how ridiculous that is- he created it after all, he should also be on top of the leaderboard!

Only two orgasms are missing. And he knows there’s extra points for time and style.

To everyone else, Jungkook must seem like way too much to handle- and he really isn’t easy. He’s stubborn, he’s whiny, he’s sometimes petty and he tends to be unable to let some things go that he bit down on- but you love him, and so you’ve come to love all those habits of him too.

And, to be fair you’re not easy either. You know that your tamper can be a lot, and that you’re pretty hot-headed. But that, he loves too. Because it’s simply you- and he will forever love you.

You’re on his lap on your shared bed that you technically only wanted to change the sheets of- but it’s Jungkook, and he can never really get enough of you. It’s like he’s always up for it, no matter where and when, even when he’s exhausted from work he still wants to have you close like this.

And close to you he is, right now.

He moves you both around, eagerly helps you shed your shirt before he rids you and himself of the rest of your clothes, always excited to see you bare. You’re finally wearing the matching piercings again, and he’s relieved about it. For others it might just be something trivial, but Jungkook sees magic in everything- in the home you share, the way the blanket you got from him as a gift years back has worn down over time, the way his own tattoos changed and morphed to include more lines and colors as he grew older together with you. And the piercings hold magic too- the day you both got them done together, holding hands even as he’d shared the excitement with you.

Right now you’re also wearing a pretty delicate necklace, a small pink gemstone framed by silver wings that he bought for your anniversary, ‘his heart’ as he’d told you, an object offering a visual representation of how you make him feel.

As if he’s weightless, nothing holding him down.

You’ve given him a new set of gaming controllers, personalized and shiny, so much so that he’s retired the old one’s now on a little shelf above his setup. He always takes care of all his presents he received, sees value in things even if they’re old and worn down. The thick flannel shirt you bought him a few months into your relationship is washed out by now, edges of the sleeves a little frayed and torn, buttons having long been exchanged over time. But he still has it, still wears it, refuses to retire it.

He's kissing at your neck, playfully tugs on the necklace making you laugh as you pinch his sides, causing him to flinch back from sensitivity of you. It’s all so light hearted despite the clear fire in both of your eyes, as he dives back in to tug you towards him by your legs.

”Jungkookie~” You sing teasingly, mind a but tipsy just like his. But that doesn’t mean he can’t perform, clearly already standing ready as his hand glides through your legs, spreading your arousal for him.

But the sight is already too much to resist, as he instead moves to go down on you, catching you off guard.

As much as he’s an attentive lover, he’s also a terribly impatient and spontaneous one. He can’t keep the same position for long, always acts out what he’s got in mind, always wants to try out whatever comes to his mind.

Right now he’s bathing in the way your legs move over his shoulders to pull him closer. His hands instantly find themselves on your thighs at that, always eager to touch and hold any part of you. And while you arch your back and hold onto the pillows, he’s eagerly devouring you at your core, working you up as he himself can’t help but buck his hips into the mattress below, yearning for any sort of friction.

He detaches himself for just a moment, removing your legs before he pushes them towards you, exposing you to him as he lines himself up to push himself inside.

This is where he wants to always be, close to you, lost in pleasure.

He’s pushing himself into you in a constant game of push and pull, opting for a more romantic pace and standard missionary style time of intimacy, not chasing anything wild right now as he interlocks your fingers with his, pushing your palms into the mattress below as he rocks his body into yours, his own simple silver necklace swinging with every thrust above your face.

His orgasm is soft, gentle, shared with you as he helps you with his hand in between your bodies, feeling your core spasm around his length still inside you. Only later he lets you go to shower, while he himself stays behind to finish making the bed now properly, when he notices the skies outside lit in numerous colors, fireworks going off.

“ba- BABE WE MISSED NEW YEARS!” he calls out dramatically, bursting into the bathroom to join you in the shower, almost slipping as he kisses you.

“What?” You ask, not having heard him.

“happy New year’s Anniversary Day” He giggles, and your eyed widen.

“Nooo, why do we always miss the fireworks?” you complain, while he teasingly bites at your neck.

“Well..” he purrs,

“How about I make you see some stars instead?”

[twst-hottest-takes]

I'm really disappointed about how the game is handling Ace as a character. He's extremely boring. There's literally absolutely nothing to his character, having no motivation, backstory or goal of any kind. The latest Book 7 update on the JP server cenements it even further. All his dream is about him hanging out with his buddies at a beach and having it where Yuu was able to hop between worlds. Which is great and all. But I was hoping for something more to give him more depth beyond him being a tsundere secretly who cares about others and actually wants his friends to be around.

There are plenty of characters who are similar to him from other franchises that blow him out of the water. Take Ruiji from Persona 5. He has a similar personality as Ace. The difference is that he has an actual defined past. Prior to the game, he was a part of the track team and confronted his shitty coach about his abuse on his teammates. He retaliated by breaking his leg, making him never be able to run again. Ruiji joins the others to get back at his coach and get justice for others. Jou from YGO is similar to him as well, except he was an ex delinquent with an abusive father and wants to compete in a tournament to get money to give his sister a life changing eye surgery. (He also reminds me of Deuce a bit as well)

Honestly, I think the better writing decision would've been to combine Ace and Deuce as a character, giving him Deuce's backstory. At least that way the character would a little more defined.

I can see where you're coming from, Anon, and I don't disagree.

I just have this weird amount of faith in the game that Ace (and if we're lucky ALL OF THE FRESHMAN [sans Ortho and Sebek]) will get a good spotlight towards the end of the main story. He is the only character whose signature spell we don't know yet and he's the first student that the MC formally met. He's one of the characters consistently depicted as being actually close friends with the MC (and Grim) and even though he's been prickly about how friendly he was at first the tsundere part you referred to is sloughing off and he has gotten more likeable, so I imagine they're saving something good for him. . .

. . .or they'd better be. I mean, I'm not much of an Ace fan, but if they don't payoff his character setup then I'll be mad on y'all's behalf because that'll be more frustrating than how ignored Jack usually is. Like, man, what's it all for?

I totally get it though. Ace should have more too him in terms of background. Ace has becoming more endearing and proved himself to be dependable despite the first impression he gives off, but is still pretty shallow and I can relate to wanting more for him. Did he have a tough time making friends? Does he have a more complex relationship with his older brother than we've been led to believe? Does he have any aspirations or anxieties about the future? Time will tell. . .probably.

Thank you for your take.

(Now I also want to see what Ace of Spades type of monstrosity would occur if the Heartslabyul freshmen did the fusion dance. Thanks for that.)

[bestworstcase]

So having already moved past the idea of Yang as a Maiden - I do suspect the other reason people jump to that conclusion is people getting Raven's trajectory wrong. Yang as Maiden is the obvious conclusion if you think that Raven is going to come back to save Yang and die for it. Which... look, I can see Raven getting badly hurt. But dying - nah. The STRQ team and the Rose-Xiao Long household is not getting any outs from the most awkward family conversation ever. (Though your points about Raven actually being very difficult to kill does mean that the show can have the Spring Maiden get Yang out of a really tight spot without killing Raven or sacrificing tension) But it does feel like the idea has bit at least in some respects of the fandom that way to balance Raven being a coward/bandit and the setup for the untested "Everyone Only Gets One (Save)" rule is for Raven to come in and die for it.

mhm

i think something that is broadly true of this fandom is a general struggle to conceptualize what the narrative can meaningfully do with old-guard characters that isn’t… killing them off. qrow gets this a lot too, he’s nominally ruby’s mentor but she’s outgrown that relationship and is now on a level with him and there’s a persistent belief that it’s only a matter of time before his time is up. but it isn’t just him, i’ve also seen this attitude toward pietro, for example. (including one. memorable post that outright expressed surprise that pietro and maria survived v8 on the grounds that without penny the op thought it was pointless for the narrative to keep them around, because what would they even be doing in vacuo. which is absurd!)

and then raven in particular is a difficult character – fandoms always have a hard time with performative/masking behaviors, rwby is no different, although i do think the specific way rwby utilizes archetype and allusion makes it worse because fandom is also bad at paying attention – on top of also being, in v5, an antagonistic character to yang.

(i hesitate to describe her role as villainous, because raven’s response to getting backed into a corner was to neatly sabotage salem’s operation; she didn’t help salem under duress, she acted as a double agent on behalf of team oz under duress, and what she did wrong was mainly not communicate this to them. as ever raven is very brave about everything that isn’t having a slightly difficult conversation with someone she cares about. lol)

the point being, raven gets this general difficulty this fandom has with the old guard stacked on top of 1. being a difficult character (as a woman lmao) so a lot of people just don’t like her very much, and 2. being an antagonistic (or outright villainous) character depending on whether one takes raven “joining” salem at face value or not. so a fair amount of “speculation” that raven will die is either character hate in the guise of theory, and i think there is a large share of raven-will-die-saving-yang theories that boil down to redemption-by-heroic-sacrifice thinking.

what’s funny about that, aside from the obvious factor of raven being in vacuo now (and the most probable reason for her to only be in the last section of the epilogue being that she arrived on the refugee ship from vale and the likeliest answer there being that after haven she went to loop glynda in and help out because she knew salem would be coming back for the crown sooner or later), is how pragmatic she is and how desperately in need the heroes are right now of pragmatists – real pragmatists, not “leave mantle to die”-ish cowardice masquerading as pragmatism.

like. raven has been the leader of what appears to be a quite large encampment of bandits for more than a decade now, right, and to all appearances she’s done a great job – they respect her, trust her to have their backs, morale seems high, they’re well-supplied (by non-huntsman standards) and well-provisioned, they’re disciplined enough to erect fairly impressive temporary fortifications surrounding their camps – all of this suggests that raven is skilled at managing problems of scarcity, attrition, morale, grimm predation etc under fairly harsh conditions.

those problems are much larger in vacuo and the branwen subsistence strategy of raiding settlements is off the table, but – raven’s experience managing these sort of challenges in the animan wilderness is invaluable here! (especially if she brought all her bandits with her, because that’s a small militia that can whip up very nice ad hoc fortifications in an hour or two, given materials to work with, and two maidens solves the “no trees in the desert” problem).

and raven is also – demonstrably – someone capable of being very cunning, and turning lose/lose situations to her advantage even under intense pressure. salem’s people strolled into her camp like they owned the place, and raven took a deep breath, went “okay, we planned for this,” and played them like a fiddle! she is the reason salem’s infiltration of haven failed, and had everything gone according to raven’s plan, cinder would have died that night with omen in her back.

without the spring maiden, they’re all going to die. not because of her magical power, but because of who raven is. they need someone who can think and plan like this. they need someone who can evaluate an impossible situation and make tough choices like “i want my brother dead” – given the choice between capitulating or letting her people get massacred, raven bet on qrow not being stupid enough to walk unarmed into an obvious trap without backup, and tricked cinder into letting her tiny infiltration force be outnumbered almost two-to-one by highly trained combatants.

raven is what ironwood thought he was.

and she’s decided to join the coalition at a critical moment when they have zero good, easy choices ahead of them.

it would be absurd and baffling for the story to kill off raven at this point – this is Her Moment! and she and yang get to have their uncomfortable, painful, incredibly fraught reunion after haven in a time where raven has plainly earned back the full trust of the vacuo coalition, in all likelihood in large part by showing the fuck up at exactly the right moment her skillset and perspective were most helpful. which creates a really juicy tension for the personal relationship she has to now build with yang!

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-Three

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!

Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx

Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

“I said no.”

Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.

“Give me a reason at least?"

I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?

“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.

“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.

I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”

Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.

“One thing after another with you.”

My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”

The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”

I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it. 

“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.

“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”

I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.

Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.

I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”

With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”

I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”

To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep. 

Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.

“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”

“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”

Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.

“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”

My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.

The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.

He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.

I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me. 

Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand. 

But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.

Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.

“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.

“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.

“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”

Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.

Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.

When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.

“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”

I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky. 

“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs. 

“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.

Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”

I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-

“Anyone here?”

I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.

George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”

Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.

“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”

“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”

I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”

Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”

I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done. 

Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”

Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.

“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”

It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.

Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.

See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.

Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard. 

George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more. 

Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.

He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.

I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon. 

The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.

I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.

I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated. 

“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”

George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”

Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”

I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.

Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”

I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”

He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.” 

I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”

Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”

I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.

He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”

I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.

During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.

George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.

“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about. 

He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it. 

“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.

Or maybe I was just kidding myself.

“Sorry.”

George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”

He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.

“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile. 

“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.

I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.

“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."

I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.

Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.

I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.

“What?”

George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.

“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me. 

Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”

My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”

We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.

“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.

I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”

That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”

George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”

He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.

His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”

I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.

The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.

I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.

You had me from the start  Pulling all the stops out  On the down low, secretly  But I think you knew your psychology  Was working on me  Infatuated  And doing this all wrong  You've got  My number and my name  And you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going  Can I see you every day?  Do you love me  Like I love you?  Ah, you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going

(Song: Ride - Future Love)

It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me. 

I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.

His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.

A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.

Not even a second later my phone was in my hand. 

Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me? 

–

Matty had always had a thing for Sundays. 

There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick. 

No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him. 

There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.

Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.

It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.

Jamie had somehow managed it.

Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.

But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.

It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings. 

He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.

There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.

He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.

Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.

Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.

The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”

Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.

This was it, he supposed.

The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.

He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.

The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.

If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal. 

He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.

It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.

She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.

Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.

The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.

“You can just hang your-”

“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway. 

It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.

“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”

He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him. 

Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”

God, it was so fucking strained.

He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.

“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.

“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”

Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”

She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before. 

But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.

Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv. 

There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.

She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which. 

He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.

He found himself smiling at the thought.

It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.

“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down. 

Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.

“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.

She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”

Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”

She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”

Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.

The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.

“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.” 

Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.

She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”

“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.

“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”

Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”

Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.

“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...” 

He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks. 

She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?” 

“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.

“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”

That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.

Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind. 

“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”

Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.

Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”

Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.

“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.” 

He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”

He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.

“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”

Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.

“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”

“Said what?”

Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”

Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.

Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”

Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.

“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.

“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”

She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.

“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”

Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.

“Then what?”

Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”

Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.

He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.

It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”

Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.

“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.

“I know.” He answered.

“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.

“I know.”

He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.

[moonshynecybin]

short fic! once again maïna got me.... her original post here, this one's like 800 words about marc hitching a ride from vale back to the pits... nebulously established relationship they are being very sweet !

“Are you trying to kill me?” Is what Vale says when Marc trots up to where he’s spectating on the side of the track, camped out like a king in some shady place where the crowds can’t get to him. He’s on his feet, hands on his hips and a frown on his face beneath his hat and sunglasses, staring Marc down as he approaches. He’s worried—he usually is, when Marc’s on the bike— but the crash wasn’t terrible, just a slide into the gravel. He shouldn’t be too mad.

Marc brushes some dust off of the ass of his leathers. The marshals are bustling around them, righting his bike and wheeling it past him and Vale. There’s no sense of urgency though, it’s too late in the session— that’s FP1 done for Marc, now he just needs to get back to the pits. Luckily, he knows a guy.

He flicks a gloved finger at Vale’s cheek, and Vale catches it, brings it to his mouth to kiss his hand, sweet and playful, a moment of connection just for them, letting Marc know he’s not actually mad. Marc can’t help but grin under his helmet.

“I’m okay.” He reassures, keeping his voice low, tilting his head a little. “I saw how lonely you were out here and just wanted to say hi.” He’s joking, but if he had to pick a place to crash, next to Vale isn’t the worst place in the world.

“Not funny,” Vale lets go of his hand to wave a finger in his face, eyebrows jumping, and Marc laughs, big and loud.

“No, it isn’t. I wanted P1.” It’s a bad joke— most of his are— but Vale smiles at him anyway, eyes crinkling behind his sunglasses.

“P2 for you, I think, if you’re done trying to kill yourself.” Vale gestures at the scooter behind him. “You need a lift?

“You offering?”

“I mean you can walk, but that would be less fun for both of us, I think.” Vale says, swinging a leg over the scooter and rummaging for the keys.

“The Valentino Rossi taxi service.” Marc says, climbing onto the back as Vale buckles on his helmet. He leans forward until the enamel of their helmets makes contact, an affectionate bump. He decides to settle his hands on the familiar, narrow space of Vale’s hips, glove catching on the fabric of his shirt.

“For you? I charge double.”

“I can afford it, my husband’s rich.” Marc says, and is rewarded with a bark of a laugh from Valentino and an affectionate slap to his thigh as the ignition catches and they start to move.

Vale pulls away from the track and starts to maneuver towards the pits, scooter rumbling along. Marc closes his eyes, enjoying the ride and the solid weight of Vale in front of him, the way he can lean on him a little, torsos pressed tight. It’s not often he can loosen his control during a race weekend, and it’s nice to not have to focus for a few minutes— to let Vale unwind Marc in that way only he knows how. They don’t get too much alone time on days like these, and Marc lets himself get warm— basking between the sun on his back and the stretch of Valentino in front of him.

It’s over too soon.

“Thanks for the ride,” He says, when Vale slows to a stop in front of Honda’s pit area. He pulls of his helmet.

“Yeah— you be safe, eh?” Vale says, catching Marc’s elbow when he clambers off the scooter. Vale lifts a hand to thumb at Marc’s cheek, and Marc has to lean down to kiss him, soft and sweet, lingering. It’s not the best time for it —he has to get back to his box, there are probably thousands of cameras pointed at them right now, and he has about eight different ideas for the bike setup to iron out with Santi— but right now he doesn’t care. He kisses Vale again, hand on the column of his neck.

“I love you,” He says when he pulls back— he really does have things to do. He grabs his helmet and starts to move away. Vale smacks him on the ass as he goes.

“If you crash again, I will not drive you back next time!” Vale calls as Marc winds his way towards the Honda garage.

“Yes, you will!” Marc calls back, not even turning around. He’s grinning as he ducks around the corner.

And it’s true. It’s something he knows for certain— knowledge that’s sewed itself into his bones— as factual and immutable as the sky being blue, as the sun rising in the morning. If he falls, Vale will be there to catch him.

It’s as simple as that.

[ladyluscinia]

I have been turning over the question of how I would "fix" S2 - more conceptually than with intention at the moment - and more and more my conclusion is just scrap it entirely and go a different direction.

Like as much as I enjoyed 2x01 - 2x03 (maybe even 2x04 and 2x05, too) from an audience perspective (specifically as someone who enjoys darker content, toxic relationships, black humor, and the potential of generally fucked up plot beats) it kinda hinged a lot on my expectation that they were doing it with intent to deliver a satisfying story resolution in the end. I couldn't guess exactly how on the spot, but that's not really my problem as an audience member - I can just enjoy guessing along the journey until we get there.

Whereas looking back as a writer, struggling with the lack of resolution (successfully executed or even just projected), those episodes are just too many problems built into the foundation. I very rarely say this but I will agree with the antis that watching Edward go on a multi-phase apology tour to try and make amends to each character would be tonally a disaster to deal with and not particularly satisfying on a character level, either. I mean, I like Edward? I don't want his primary plotline being him getting kicked repeatedly and wallowing in guilt? But I also don't see a clean way to wrap up all that with perfunctory apologies and then behaving better in the future AND to sell any kind of found family, "these people will be celebrating at your wedding"-energy between Edward and the breakup boat crew. Not while treating any of them as mentally ok, at least.

Handwaving Frenchie's box is not actually funny at all if it's explicitly full of unaddressed traumatizing memories of a guy he works for / hangs out with on a daily basis?

I think I was right in my pre-S2 thinking that Kraken era needs to be predominantly violence directed toward people outside the crew, and while the remaining crew can be unhappy they probably shouldn't feel abused. I'm still not sure if Izzy's leg could be made to work with some context changes, but the offscreen additional toes lines definitely need to be struck out. Like, fucked up Kraken era could be interesting in more trauma focused fics that explored it as whump or darker adventure stories, but I don't think canon benefits from the harsh genre shift. Especially not if we want to keep forward movement for BlackBonnet as the main arc of the show.

There's just too much setup baggage on the route they chose, and I can't figure out a satisfying answer for what to do with it that doesn't require temporarily dropping the romance, the comedy, or both from this romcom 🤷‍♀️

Better to remove the problem at its source and just reimagine Kraken era entirely.

[jowiththeflow]

And just a week later we're meeting again 🤭

Where do I even begin with this new chapter? Let's get Geto out of the way 🙄 Riko was so real for being annoyed at him. He just spouts the same party line but doesn't truly mean that and saying that to someone you saved? If I was her I'd think I was weak too.

Now onto Satoru and Yuuji 🤭 they make me laugh every time you put them together. They're so funny. Satoru asking about Yuuji's domain and Yuuji being like 🙂‍↕️ decline to answer. So funny. Eventually he will have to tell them who he was a vessel to 💀 so far I believe only Yaga knows the most truth including Yuuji being Sukuna's vessel specifically. Back to domains, Yuuji gushing about Satoru's to him was adorable.

Haibara showing up and Yuuji immediately realizing that this guy most likely died but can't give that away per se and Satoru also realizing and helping distract with Nanami showing up? Once again showing Yuuji how he cares in a way 🥺 Yuuji slipping up when he sees Nanami calling Satoru sensei and saying they could have been making fun of him when he kept Yuuji in his basement was hilarious. Out of context for both Haibara and Satoru making Satoru laugh at how absurd it was. Yuuji being excited to see Nanami and yelling his nickname? Which someone else pointed out in a comment and I agree with them that Satoru will eventually get jealous that Yuuji gave Nanami a nickname but he doesn't have one. Probably will flutter his eyelashes and whine to Yuuji that he needs a nickname too 😆

Let's move onto Satoru and Yuuji in Yuuji's bedroom 😉 loved everything about this. Satoru having a moment to himself wondering just what his other self did to have Yuuji let his guard down enough to take his sunglasses off and be comfortable about Satoru was nice. Yuuji avoiding the Geto talk while using Satoru's crush for him was perfect. Though I love how Satoru was like "is it different in the future when it comes to being gay" and Yuuji explaining that it's more common to hear about and see so that's why he's comfortable to talk about it. Again though Yuuji will have to talk about Kenny at some point 😬 especially if he wants to save them from him.

The whole dick conversation 💀 finally Satoru gets a reaction out of Yuuji. And Yuuji trying to distract himself by singing the pokemon song causing Satoru to jump was so funny. Shoko showing up and just 🧍🏻‍♀️ in the doorway like do I need to give you the talk? And Yuuji is desperate for her to leave saying they were fine? Priceless. That entire moment was priceless.

Thank you so much for the update 💖 I am in fact going to reread it again right now. I love Satoru and Yuuji's relationship development. I love how you write them. Also sorry not sorry for how long this ask is 💀 at this point I need to just dm you I fear 🤭also sorry for any spelling mistakes. I literally just woke up and saw you updated and immediately read the chapter lol

There you are! My life would be incomplete without your asks for every chapter!

I think this is another chapter that I kind of think of as filler, but it's also setup for a lot of important things. One of those things is Getou's character development. His arc is a really interesting one to me because of how particular the timing with it is. Satoru clearly objects to the way Suguru thinks about the purpose of the jujutsu sorcerer, but objections from someone equally morally bankrupt about your moral bankruptcy. And Shoko is too removed to try to get into it with him. In canon he was eventually forced to grapple with his thought process, but the trauma of losing someone he was trying to save and also losing to someone he had deemed "lesser" pushed him towards the wrong answer, where the best solution was just to eradicate the people that hurt him. I gave myself a unique opportunity in this au by giving Riko the chance to confront him too.

And Yuuji and Satoru!! These two are fun to write. Though I meant what I said when I said having plot relevant dialogue with them is challenging lol. But there setup was really fun here, especially compared to what Yuuji actually says and what Satoru takes it as. Yuuji confesses that he gets Suguru’s face mixed up with his mother’s, Satoru gets too distracted by this to ask for clarification for why that happens in the first place, and in turn, Satoru just assumes that both Suguru and Yuuji’s mother held different but equally villainous presences in Yuuji’s life. Interesting, interesting. And that doesn’t really get into why Yuuji is trying to draw Kaori's face in the first place, does it?

As always, thanks so much for reading and sending me your ask!! I'm glad you loved the chapter. More to come :)

[del-stars]

You showed up a lot when I searched up for Evan and Sirius so now I just have to ask your thoughts

Their dynamic, headcanons, how friends would react

Also like. Barty/sirius/evan please maybe even with Remus (probably if he never forgave Sirius. anger issues Remus is so hot to me so you gotta give him a bit of toxicity)

Evan and Sirius is so master and slave. and that’s beautiful really

Just need to know your every thought on them. It’s a necessity actually

Also how’d they get together. Stalking? Kidnapping? Something more socially acceptable but less fun?

ALSO

hi! How are you? Hope the day is good

hi hello!! welcome to my blog i ship sirius black x literally any person you could come up with

rosestar is soooooo interesting to me bc like. bitchkiller is a very intricate dynamic in which barty does feel some type of way toward sirius but puts all of that effort toward manipulating him whereas evan..... does not give a shit at ALL. he actively feels zero emotions toward sirius - genuinely does not care if that guy lives or dies. feels no remorse for hurting sirius. sirius is a means to an end for evan to make himself feel good, basically - a necessary part of getting his rocks off. which is the perfect storm from sirius 'i need validation from everyone who hates me' black. i think sirius' friends would know IMMEDIATELY that this is the worst possible setup for him and try very hard to get him to run the other direction. and honestly james would probably go to A Trusted Adult..... meanwhile evan's friends are like aw <3 ur gna tear that poor boy's life apart.... have fun!

in terms of special guest stars it would go crazy w barty. barty is a humanising factor for evan so honestly it's the healthiest set up possible w sirius - barty does kinda care whether sirius lives or dies in a way, and evan just gets too distracted by barty to remember to torture sirius. unforchhhh i do believe that remus lupin is physically incapable of being toxic to sirius even if he's angry with him so he would not make a good third in this scenario.... i think it's possible that barty would try to get remus to take his anger out on sirius in a sexual manner but remus would take one look at what rosestar sex entails and call the police

evan and sirius master x slave very much yes. very much that. very much this.

as for how they get together i think evan would be too emotionally distant/disinterested buttttt i actually do see the stalking thing. like when sirius doesn't know who he is evan is just going insane with how much he wants him physically, constantly looking in sirius' windows and taking pictures of him. sirius, my maladjusted king, of course falls head over heels in love w his stalker to which evan is kinda like.... ew. ur not supposed to actually be emotionally invested in me u were just a thing for me to distantly obsess over. i think in canon-compliance (which is how i often think of bitchkiller) evan would be very straight-up like. hey rumor has it you're kind of a whore and i feel like having sex. to which sirius is like. okay! cue the most traumatising relationship he's ever had in his life

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Miss Thornfield's Daring Bargain by Addy Du Lac

4/5. Releases 3/20/25.

��brother's best friend

—historical romance that isn't all about standard issue caucasians

—nooooooooooo don't grow up and turn into a sexy person my honor can't take it

—marriage of convenience

Heat Index: 6.5/10

The Basics:

Ada was supposed to have a fun season; unfortunately, her brother Richard just had to go missing, and now she needs his friend Basil's help to find him and save her future. But like, the easiest way to do this is obviously to marry Basil. They can always get an annulment once they've completed the mission? Right? Right? Riiiiiight?

The Review:

If there's one word I can use to describe Addy Du Lac's approach to historicals, it's "charming". She writes with a light hand in a manner that mixes the modern and the classic.

Which, speaking of, this is obviously going to get comparisons to Bridgerton because it's a diverse historical romance (Ada and Richard are of Chinese descent on their mother's side; but they're not alone, and Du Lac has tended towards diversity in her historicals so far, which is lovely). But Miss Thornfield's Daring Bargain is more rooted in reality, which means Ada does racism, and the world in which she lives isn't the postracial utopia that is Netflix's Bridgerton. As a disclaimer, I'm a white woman, and I can't speak as to how well Ada and Richard work as representation; nor can I speak much as to how race is handled in this book in general. I can say that it seemed well done to me, and I find Du Lac's approach to diversity in historical romances preferable to what Bridgerton does. It's never super heavy, but it does feel more... aware? A midpoint between harsh reality and "nothing wrong ever happens anymore it's fine don't worry about it".

Like, don't get me wrong. This is a fun, frothy book. And it know what the reader wants. When Basil gets all hot and bothered on waking up to Ada being just A Little Too Close? Delightful. His general dismay at her not being a skinny little girl anymore? Hell yeah. That's what we're here for. I don't know if they necessarily like... desperately needed to get married to find Richard? But to be real, the fact that they were like "Seems legit, I'm sure an annulment will be easy" made it more fun for me.

But Basil, bro—if you're gonna get this thing annulled, you kinda need to NOT bang her. Just a note. I know it's challenging.

If there's one thing I can say, it's that Basil and Ada are both genuinely kind people whose relationship progresses fairly quickly, in part because they are nice people. Really, why shouldn't they be together? They're nice and they're hot. Let's do this. Du Lac writes lovely people in a lovely way, and I do enjoy it; but I'd kind of like to see her writing people who are a bit harder to enjoy in the future. Not constantly, write your heartsong, but as a treat?

Like I said, Ada and Richard aren't the only people of color in this novel, and I look forward to seeing the stories of Ada's friends, also biracial women, down the road. This was a fun setup for what looks like a romp of a series, and I'm very interested to see what comes next.

The Sex:

While it takes a bit for Basil and Ada to fully give in, when they do—well, Du Lac writes a good sex scene. It's nothing super over the top, but the connection between Basil and Ada is palpable, and I was very "good for Her" TM about it.

Conclusion:

Any historical romance fans looking for something on the lighter side will definitely like this. And frankly, I'm always happy to see historical authors who branch away from the usual cast of white characters. While this is very classic in some ways, it branches out in others, and I had a good time!

Thanks to Addy Du Lac, Dragonblade, and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i feel so high school (au) pt. 7.A: yukierre

got called out recently so now nobody gets to know how to ball nor aristotle. they’re just in american high school setups because something something perfect all american bitch author

gamer!yuki and team captain!pierre: i said football last time, we’re calling it soccer. pierre is the captain of the soccer team, all the tropes and stereotypes that come with that– popular, influential, all the other guys wanna be him, doesn’t have to try with girls etc. because of being held back a while ago (not relevant to the plot) he’s almost two years older than the people in his grade, not a huge difference but he finds himself often taking on this kind of older brother role to younger students who maybe feel kind of lost at home, he doesn’t even really mean to but people just kinda naturally trust him

yuki is a new student, only arrived in junior year, transferring from a private school. he’s way too introverted and pretty much addicted to games, all his friends are online/on servers/somehow across the globe in some way. he could never fit in at school and he got into spats/pointless arguments too often, then just rage on the game all night. finally his parents were like “this has gone too far, he needs to go into a more natural habitat” and boom chuck him in a public school like that’ll change anything…. it does, just not in a good way. he gets picked on a lot, he’s volatile and abrasive and short-tempered. the first time he and pierre cross paths– a couple times, actually– is usually when pierre is rounding up the kids who are giving him a hard time and getting them under control to leave him alone

that’s nice and all but they don’t have any actual relationship until surprise! yuki turns up for the next round of tryouts. which is an absolute disaster. all the kids on the soccer team are pretty nice or at least well-behaved (all sort of have hero worshipping complexes toward pierre as well) but that doesn’t stop them from laughing, kind of sneering down at him, giving “wtf are you doing here loser” and ofc yuki doesn’t make the team. he nearly passes out trying to run a few laps and eventually he just drags himself to the bleachers and looks on… so that should be the end of it. until the next practice when he’s back at the same bleachers looking forlorn and watching again and after pierre approaches him like “hey man great to see you uh… what are you doing here?”

and yuki just looks pale and unwell and distracted, not in like a hyperactive talking-too-fast way just like he can’t even form a complete sentence he’s so spaced out. eventually he gets the truth out, that his gaming was affecting his grades too much and he got into so much trouble that his parents took away his gaming system and forced him to “get into sports, do what the other boys do, make something out of yourself just be normal” etc.

idk if you guys have ever lived with a video game addict but that shit is real like, the withdrawal symptoms are real. pierre is kind of scared to talk to him bc he just looks unstable like yuki being forced to exist in his own head with his own thoughts 24/7 and no friends is turning out to be not so easy. pierre’s trying to be gentle about it and he’s like “well why are you still here?” and yuki’s like “they don’t have to know i didn’t make the team they just have to know i’m at practice.”

cont.