#there's too many for my brain to even be ok with beginning that process

[raytm]

[mockerycrow]

hii! i love the way you describe the 141 so far, and i would love to see how you would write an konig, ghost, soap, price and alejandro reaction and headcanons with a s/o who has an accent?

i taught myself english from a young age so i never really had someone to practice with, so my accent is very strong (im from south america, which also helps lol) and i would like to see how the cod boys can react to this in your style <33

Reader With An Accent - MWII

GIF BY: @collinnmckinley - masterlist

A/N: thank you so much for your patience and thank you for liking my writing!! please let me know if i executed this right!! i am american and i don’t want to misrepresent. also this is lowkey coded for people w/ accents from non-english speaking countries, so sorry everyone who is from a english speaking country and has an accent oops — i also kinda took your “i taught myself english from a young age” for alejandro’s chunk. hope that’s ok!

König

König wouldn’t react to your accent very much, unless it’s a very thick accent because then he would have trouble understanding you.

If your accent is thick, he probably asks you repeat yourself a couple of times; English isn’t his first language either, so I can imagine maybe a couple of times you both sit there in silence with each other because neither of you guys can understand each other. He has a semi-thick accent, too.

Sometimes, he does understand you but he just wants to hear you continue to talk.

Maybe König and you practice English together, while teaching each other your native languages on accident. You guys didn’t mean to, but you end up trying to explain what a word is in your different languages and by the end of it, you begin to understand full sentences in german; the same for him with your language.

He considers this a bonding experience :)

Ghost

Like König, he probably wouldn’t react to your accent too much unless it was incredibly thick. Ghost has met all different types of people and his native language is English, so he has a better understanding of what you’re trying to say, but he pokes fun at you like he pokes fun at Soap.

On the topic of Soap, you two together is his worst nightmare.

“Speak English.” Is his favorite phrase when you are speaking English, but your accent is just overpowering literally everything.

You like to throw his words back into his face when he says some sort of British slang—you get a surprisingly loud chuckle out of him when you pick up some of his slang. He thinks it’s funny whenever anyone who isn’t British begins to talk like him.

If Ghost isn’t already fluent in your language, he pretty much becomes damn near fluent by the time you’ve known him for a good couple of months. He picks this stuff up easily.

Soap

Oh, this would be actual hell on Earth. Not for you two, but for the others.

Soap doesn’t comment on your accent initially, but you two begin to share a brain cell and a half (on accident) when Ghost’s eyes show visible frustration.

“He can barely understand me, the two of’us will be a real party trick!”

You and Soap gang up on everyone else if your accent is thick. He understands the frustration of people not understanding you.

Sometimes it takes Soap a moment to process what you’re saying, but he only asks you to repeat yourself a couple of times. (He has a good method of deciphering words, even if he cannot understand through an accent).

Soap likes to teach you his Scot phrases and you teach him your own in return.

Price

He gives you an eyebrow raise as a reaction, but that’s about it. Price has worked with so many people all over the world, he doesn’t really care to comment on your accent.

Price has gotten pretty good at understanding thick accents through the years, so he probably only asks you to slow your speaking when giving him a verbal report about something.

Price 100% is the type to accidentally pronounce something wrong but say it with full confidence and you always correct him, leaving him dumbfounded.

“My lips just don’t move that way, love.”

It’s likely he’s fluent in your language so he doesn’t mind if you talk to him in it; just give him a few seconds to translate in his head, okay?

Alejandro

If you meet outside of a total progressional setting, he probably has the most reaction to your accent out of anyone.

Alejandro’s language is a very big part of him so he assumes it’s the same for anyone else.

Alejandro doesn’t have an incredibly thick accent, but he knows people who do and he’s known them for years, so it’s easier for him to understand than a lot of other people.

If you taught yourself English and you end up pronouncing something wrong, Alejandro casually corrects you to help you out. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it either, he knows sometimes people get embarrassed from it. His first language isn’t English either, so he understands the struggle.

He DOES start laughing if you try to pronounce something that you so clearly cannot, even after being corrected.

[ghostofskywalker]

OK FIRST HAPPY 3K BABES

but also, I am on my hands and knees for some cassian. maybe some mutual pining 👀

HI MY BELOVED pls ignore that this is so late it's not even funny but i hope you love it!!

words: 825

summary: right before he leaves for a mission, cassian shocks you with a surprising declaration.

cassian andor masterlist || join my 3k celebration!

There's Never a Good Time To Confess Your Love During a War

You stared as he talked quietly with Mon Mothma, most likely running through the details for the mission he was set to begin in less than a full rotation. You had inspected his ship just barely a day ago, so you knew this was coming. It was normal for many who lived on the base to be in and out as they went on various assignments and missions, and it was left up to people like you (mechanics, droid techs, and other non-combat personnel) to hold down the fort while they were gone. You worried for all the rebels you waved off and those ships you repaired when they returned, but there was one person in particular that you had a special apprehension for whenever he took off into hyperspace. 

Most people would say that it’s impossible for a single person to be perfect, but you would have to disagree when it came to Cassian Andor. Not only was he incredibly attractive, funny, and kind, but the two of you had gotten along perfectly from the moment you met. You’d lied to people’s faces more times than you could count when they asked you if you had a crush on him, and it was getting tiring. And it didn’t help that there were only so many juicy subjects of gossip on a Rebel Base (that was not focused on the grim world you lived in), so it came up fairly often in conversation.

How were you ever going to tell him how you felt in the middle of a war? The word “crush” sounded so stupid when there were weekly vigils and services for those that had been lost in the seemingly never-ending fight against the Empire. You would simply have to be okay with the relationship as it was, unless the war suddenly took a turn and the fighting ceased tomorrow. You also in no way wanted to put Cassian in harm’s way or force him to make an decision he didn’t want to, and even though you doubted there would ever be a point where you left the base, your imagination was often overactive and always considering the worst possible outcome, which was that he was injured or killed because of you, your actions, or your feelings for him.

And speaking of the worries, you stared at a message on the screen of your datapad, from Cassian himself. I want to talk to you about something before I leave, it said, and you had no idea what he could possibly want. Pushing away the thoughts that he was going to tell you to leave him alone, or that he was going on a mission and somehow knew that he wouldn’t be returning, you sent a quick message back telling him to meet you by your mechanic station, and hit send before you could back out of it and pretend like you had never received the ping in the first place. Your datapad was all but thrown across the table, and you busied yourself with whatever things you could find, wondering when Cassian was going to come walking through the doorway. 

When he practically appeared next to your work table about an hour later, his face didn’t seem somber, but he also wasn’t the picture of exuberance. “Is everything okay with your ship? I checked it-”

“Doyouwanttogooutwithme?” 

You paused, standing up to face him. Well, that was unusual. You certainly had an idea of what you thought (and hoped) he had just said, but your brain was running too fast to really process the statement. “What?” 

That was not really your finest moment, but then again, when was the life you lived ever perfectly picturesque? 

Cassian stopped, as if he wasn’t sure what to do. For a brief moment, you were convinced that you had misheard him completely, and fear (along with a tinge of disappointment) took hold in your stomach.

Thankfully though, you had jumped to conclusions too quickly. “I really like you, and I have for a long time,” he said, taking a step closer and just beginning to close the gap between you. “I know I’m leaving for Maker knows how long, but I don’t think I could go another day without admitting to you how I feel.” He took a slightly shaky breath in, as if what he was about to say next was the scariest thing that had ever left his mouth. “And I really want to get a drink with you when I return.”

“I’d really like that,” you said, reaching out to take his hand. “And I feel the same way about you.” 

The smile that spread across his face was one that you never wanted to see fade away, and it only grew when you leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Give the Empire hell for me Andor,” you said, and he nodded. “I’ll be here when you get back.” 

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

[a-very-fond-farewell]

WIP tag game!!!

Lamb Loose 👁️👁️ (u know me very well)

(hehe I do know you dear 👀)

so, I will try to use my (nonexistent) pitching abilities to both: 1) introduce new people to what I’m currently working on; and 2) give you (yes you Fifi) some more intel to munch on while you wait for the next update. let’s see how it goes.

1) how it began:

it was a dark and stormy night when I finished the drama Evilive, in mid-November of last year, and I couldn’t sleep. for days I couldn’t stop thinking about the characters and I decided to put my Word of Honor big fic on hold to give this new fandom a chance. the plan was to finish everything around the 80k words mark but.. oh boi. I knew myself. I knew I wasn’t gonna cut it, verbose as I am, so I decided to be diligent about it: I took 1 month to plan this fic at the best of my abilities before I started typing like a maniac on my laptop.

at the end of the month I posted the first chapter and since then I woke up at 5am (almost) every single day to chip away at this project. long story short: it changed my life. not in a big way, it didn’t magically get me a super fancy job or a stable paycheck. none of that. but it made my life significantly better.

because you have to know that, before I decided waking up at 5am was a good idea, I was so used to be dreading the new day that it was messing with my brain. I didn’t want to go to sleep because “then another day would have started” without me enjoying myself even a little bit. but the difference between going to sleep at 3am (to wake at 7) and going to sleep at 11pm (to wake at 5) made me look forward to the new day time and time again. that way, if I manage to fall asleep on the right time every day, I get to start a new morning doing what I love most: writing.

this came at a cost, however, bc apparently waking super early is bad for my blood pressure (?? rude and biphobic of my body to do me so dirty, if you ask me >:/ like.. hello??) and I get (almost daily now) a sensible energy drop around lunchtime but it’s worth it in my book. this fic turned me into an optimist and I’ve always been a realist at best.

cons of this project: the fandom is tiny. so tiny infact that there are not many “work in progress” fics besides mine on ao3 ;—; I remember this being the case for Beyond Evil too, even if I was just a casual reader at the time, back when it first aired: we were starving for new content and I recall translating Korean fanfics into English just to have someto dig my teeth into xD

moreover, I tend not to read for the fandom I’m writing for, because I’m a sponge and (like my friend Amethystina said once) “I don’t want to accidentally steal someone else’s idea” just because I have shit memory (I’ll admit I caved at the beginning of 2024 bc I was in a bad place mentally and I read a couple of one-shots on Evilive, it’s ok, ik. I forgot the majority of them anyway, I just know they were lovely and their authors very smart indeed). so it’s a very lonely process! I churn up content, I don’t consume content, I wait for comments, I joyfully reply to comments and then, if I want more human interaction I have to (*checks*) come up with more content?? ahah. Ik it doesn’t work like that, and that I have to put effort in talking with other people in the fandom for it to become larger.. but this is why I do these tag games :D to engage with other lovely people in fun activities like these! good thing this fic keeps me going, bc I would be lost without it.

the general plot idea comes from a need I wanted to see fulfilled: I wanted to read a story about a group of women going apeshit crazy on the world. no repercussions, absolute power, no remorse. women from different levels of society, different ethnicities, different nationalities, different sexualities just.. being allowed to do whatever they wanted. I wanted to explore the pros and cons of such circumstances and yet I didn’t want it to be merely focused on that alone. I also wanted to point out how every person is capable of evil and that there still needs to be a moment in our life when we choose to be better instead.

one thing that made me side-eye Evilive specifically was.. well, the lack of women. there are 3 adult women in the whole drama taking some sort of role inside the story and all of them felt rich with the implication of a personality underneath, but no actual character to be seen. I love all 3 of them, from the “wife”, to the “mother”, to the “femme fatale” as they are, yet they still are flat compared to the other people in the show, even the more stereotypically evil or corrupt among them. I needed more, so more I made.

in addition to this, I really wanted to write from the point of view of a nasty, selfish man who has been corrupted by power long enough to have forgotten how to be human again. someone who believes they can fix it all by taking revenge on the person who turned them into a monster.. not realizing they had the potential to become a monster all along and never noticed.

Lamb Loose may be a “fix-it” of sorts based on the happenings (and the finale) of Evilive, but I also think it can be some sort of Atonement Arc rather than a Redemption Arc all in all: just because you become self-aware of the evil deeds you’ve put in motion and want to be better now.. doesn’t mean you can redeem yourself for the sorrow you caused. and, sometimes I also like characters who don’t change in their (evil/selfish) ways but somehow still learn to broaden their perspective after meeting new people. restoring one’s trust in humanity is hard, but maybe it can start by looking into our own selves and look for humanity within us first and foremost.

Han Dong Soo as a character seemed the best option for me, even if it is challenging to write from his POV at times. some of the things he thinks and does are truly horrendous to me personally, but it’s a necessary step towards understanding someone as bad as him in my opinion. not to justify his actions, but to learn how to recognize them in other people instead.

there’s also horny thoughts, not gonna lie, but those feel more like an extension of all that Han Dong Soo as a person has repressed along the years. so, in a way, the sexual tension is just another character in the script, unnamed and all-encompassing, but never at the center itself. since Han Dong Soo is also an unreliable narrator, I can play with him and make the reader question everything he is going through at the same time, which is fun to me :)

2) a treat for Fifi bc she was patient and read to this point eheh:

dear, ch16 may not be full of plot-relevant quests but there’s a lot of yearning involved 👀 and I know it’s tough to wait for something more juicy to happen 😥😔 but I’m finally seeing the end of the big draft (working on ch31 now, aiming to finish the whole thing at ch40 ending a ch37 was too optimistic of me apparently ahah) and I promise you it will be absolutely worth it.

sometimes I feel very dejected about this project, bc it’s taking forever and I absolutely want to finish it before the end of the year :(

but your constant support and care are one of the reasons I keep going 💪😤💘 your art is extraordinary in itself, but your enthusiasm for this fic truly has made me appreciate living in the moment and enjoy the process more and more. so thank you dear for always cheering me on and for indulging me with your lovely comments and messages :)

I’ll see you very soon :D (I’ll reply to your comments and DMs as soon as possible! but I wanted to give you a little something today)

- Niki out :*

[astorytotellyourfriends]

annual writing self-evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2023.

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self-evaluation

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

as per usual that list is too long for this post so here's my 2023 fic roundup

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

far and away it has to be before i bury you purely because it was 1. SUCH an endeavor to begin with, and 2. so unbelievably different from anything i've written before. like, the criminal minds au was me dipping my toe into the pool of horror/suspense, and this fic was diving in headfirst. and i know it's not everyone's cup of tea (or most people's, tbh) but i've been so pleased with the reactions of those who have read it and i'm so, so thankful for it 💛 (honorable mentions to always have & i always will and a tender age, tho)

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

it's not that i'm not proud of it but a fic that's been hanging over my head all year is if the fates allow because god i hate that it's almost been a year since i updated it and I'VE BEEN TRYING to work on it but my brain just refuses to focus on it! i'm really hoping to finish it soon, though (and the gd pirate au too UGH).

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

man am i glad i did an ask meme like a week ago that asked this question so i can snag an answer from that rather than spending 3 hours combing through my fics lol

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

lmfao @cyraclove left this one on a snippet of the onlyfans au i sent her and it's my favorite thing ever

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

there's been a few instances of that over the last year but no specific events immediately come to mind. it seems to come and go in waves for me and all i can do is just ride it out and hope my inspiration comes back.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

ok like i swear to god i never thought i would write omegaverse and yet a tender age happened and it basically came pouring out of me and onto the page so like?? what the hell was that??? (also no i have not forgotten i promised a sequel, it's percolating i promise)

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i tried new genres!! i really enjoyed the writing process!! (even if it made me absolutely insane at times)

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i've said this a billion times before but i think next year i want to try writing original stuff alongside fic. idk if i'll finish a whole novel or what, but i'd at least like to start something.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

my friends 💛

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

not that i can think of but i did actually let my sister read some of my stuff and she told me that i have a lot of ust in my writing and (yes this is weird but she's my sister and i know she means well) that she wished i had an outlet for it irl so like. i guess that's something?

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i always say the same goddamn thing and today i saw a post that really encapsulated that so i'm just going to copy it here:

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

as per usual, so many. i've got a bunch half-started already that i haven't shared yet and i'm really hoping to be able to get them Mostly Finished before i start posting them, so keep your fingers crossed and an eye out 👀

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

@cyraclove, @medusasfinalgirl, @staceymcgillicuddy (and anybody else who would like to do this, i'm tagging u)

[kyratittyfish]

Anytime, Jeff

Inspired by the one word prompt "answer" Summary: Having a sentient AI as a copilot makes overworking yourself to exhaustion challenging. Note: EDI & Joker' platonic friendship's relationship is a purely platonic friendship. He's happily together with his Commander Shepard. Read on Ao3

Joker groaned as he stretched his arms, trying to loosen the knots in his sore muscles. Starting his shift four hours earlier than usual hadn’t been one of his greatest ideas, and eleven hours later his whole body was particularly keen on reminding him of why Chakwas always nagged him about moving around a bit during his breaks. Of course, he would have had to actually take breaks for that to happen. Which he didn’t. Outplayed you, mom. 

“Are you alright, Jeff?” EDI asked him. It still felt strange to hear her voice coming from the copilot seat rather than from her console hologram, but he was getting used to it. Especially since she loved to exploit her newfound mobility to wander around the ship, often returning to her post with a warm cup of coffee for him. 

“Yeah EDI, just peachy.”

“Are you sure? My sensor readings indicated you are experiencing physical distress.”

Her… sensor readings? ���EDI, we’ve been over this. Keeping track of people’s bodily functions is creepy as fuck.” He squinted at EDI’s mech, wondering exactly how many information she was able to collect 

“I meant my optical sensors, Jeff. To put it in more colloquial terms, you look like shit.”

“Wow EDI, you sure know how to make a guy feel good,” he snorted. The AI – the woman, it was getting harder and harder not to see her as a person, and damn, one year ago that thought would have horrified him, but now it didn’t bother him at all – sure knew how to be blunt. A side effect “growing up” under his influence, most certainly. 

“I meant to say, you clearly look to be in pain, and I believe the amount of consecutive hours you usually spend in a sitting position are significantly to it.”

Joker sighed and massaged his shoulder. He hated to show his physical discomfort, hated to appear vulnerable, hated to give the world a reason to see him as weak. He didn’t mind it too much with EDI, though. He wasn’t certain she could even feel pity, and if she did, she certainly didn’t show it. What she did display, in her own peculiar ways, was that she cared about him. Their friendship was certainly unusual, but he was glad to have it nonetheless. 

“I’m just feeling a bit achy, that’s all,” he admitted. 

She cocked her head to one side and studied his face. “Perhaps you would benefit from some rest, then. I could take the helm until your next shift begins.”

“Rest?” he cackled, “I have two more hours of looking at buttons and occasionally pressing them before I can call it a day.”

“You took the helm four hours before the official start of your work period. Considering this, I believe nobody would complain if you left earlier.”

“I suppose so…” he hummed as he considered her offer. “Are you sure you can handle it?”

He would have thought it impossible for a robot’s eyes to lit up in amusement, but somehow, EDI’s did. “Jeff, I am literally the Normandy. I would be simply piloting myself. As you would put it –” she raised her hands to accentuate her next statement with air quotes, “easy peasy lemon squeezy.”

Joker stared at her wide eyed for the couple of instants it took his overworked brain to process her answer. That was a combination of word he would have never expected to hear coming from a mech’s mouth. To be fair, up until not so long ago, anything else than “get on your knees, meatbag, and bow to your new synthetic overlords” would have fallen in the same category. How the times have changed. 

“Uh, in that case...” He swiveled his seat around and pushed himself to his feet, a movement that didn’t make his sore back too happy. Ok, maybe EDI and Chakwas had a point, not that he’d ever openly admit it in front of either of them. “Just… call me if you run into trouble, alright?”

“I will,” EDI promised. “I believe the human saying is ‘enjoy your nap’.”

He snickered and limped away, heart and mind already enthralled by visions of the warm sheets and soft pillows on his bed. Shepard’s bed, technically, although he’d spent most nights sleeping in it than in his own bunk lately. “That can do. And, uh, EDI –” he added, one foot already out of the door, “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Jeff.”

[re-coding]

I make a stupid decision to decide to make a (fic) writing app, cheers

Well now, I know there's like tons of them out there in the market. A lot of them are good! And even free (or have pretty good free versions)! A reddit thread I found have a few very good ones, you guys can check it out! (I'll add my own two cents later :3)

But look, the only thing I want to do, is to have a place when I can throw my ideas into a list (like what I'm did in my notes app) then auto convert it to a document when I feel like I want to write it. None of them (or at least, what I saw/found) have it!

To do that, I set up a Google Form-Google Sheets system so I can just fill in the form when I get some thoughts™. Then when I feel like I want to add another WIP to my ever-growing list of WIPs, I'll just open the associated sheet, see what idea I would like to write, then create a Google Docs and copy/paste the idea there.

Easy, right? Problem solved?

No, not really. For me, there're a few problems with this.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The Problem(s)™

The process of opening Google Forms takes forever to load (depending on my Internet) and I have a goldfish memory. What are the odds that I forget my ideas by then.

(Just use phone notes app then) But I'm in the mood to type my fic in a computer 😔😔 I don't wanna copy my prompt there to a doc via phone, or worse, retype it out. There's like 4 steps there at least! I'll lose my motivation by then!

Google Sheets has this problem where the text refuses to wrap properly if you add a long text (my ideas are sometimes a few hundred words of rambling y'know). So whenever I decided to grace the sheet with my presence, I'll need to reformat the wrap if I wanna read what I wrote. That's 1 whole extra step.

I'll need to open at least two tabs here, 1. my sheet file, 2. open a new docs file

Look, they're all pretty minor inconveniences imo, but I'm 1. a lazy mf and 2. a tired mf

So, I made a decision any sane person with a job and 0-energy would do - I thought "Hey, why don't I make my own?".

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

And thus begin the brain-storming

Ok, look I'm not that good at UX/UI designing. I figure that should be the first step so I went and watch a few video and stumbled upon Juxtopposed's world's shortest UI/UX design course (it's pretty great, do check it out!). Simple, quick, concise - perfect.

First, I started with designing the user flow. I planned out a general idea of what I want my app to do and how it would flow from there starting from the landing all the way to when users save their work and exit the app.

Boy, I sure hope I did that correctly.

This generally is made up of user actions (except for landing). You may notice how it's mostly AO3 focused because yes, I'm using this just for AO3 - as in I stopped using fanfiction.net, Wattpad and Quotev a long time ago.

I did get some inspirations for some of the features from other existing apps. Like:

Scriever - it's paid, but most people say it's a godsend but personally, I've never tried it. I think it pioneered the scenes idea tho.

Manuskript - Free open-sourced version of Scriever basically! They also have words and phrase frequency analyser and I think that's pretty neat!

MyStory.today - I like the idea that you can edit and view multiple scenes at once but the writing UI itself feels kinda clunky? It feels bothersome to add a new scene below my current one. But free version is enough and that's pretty nice. Oh yeah, not sure if it's just me, or it's kinda laggy

Wavemaker - ok this actually a great one! Everyone should give it a chance! But again, too complicated to just add one simple idea when I just wake up for instance.

Story Plotter - This one is nice. It actually have a idea to story button but, why are there... so many things... to choose before I can start writing the story. Granted, all of them are optional and you can just spam skip... a whole 7 times (unless it's a freeform, in that case, 4 times). But this provides a nice idea to combine more than 1 ideas into one plot tho. Also, not my style

Campfire - Is nice, there's so much things you can customize! But well, the free version can be quite limiting, like what if I need more than 25k words :(

Notion - Ok, here me out, it's not a great idea to write multi-chapters long fics here exactly without some amount of setting up too. BUT I love the markdown system here and I wanted to include it.

Do try some of them out, maybe you'll find your new writing app soulmate, who knows?

So... about the user flow diagram

I'm making this app because of two main features, ok maybe three, that I want to make my life easier and make me happier.

The ideas being converted and directly stored in my writing doc.

Being able to use markdowns to type unlike google docs *squint eyes*

Copying the whole chapter in HTML so I can just throw it in AO3 and click update without worrying about forgetting the formatting OR having to go to those docs to HTML converters.

And a secret fourth thing to maaaaaybe include things like chats, boxes, and other workskin related things

Oh, yes and how could I forgot, syncing progress across multiple devices

So I want to implement auto-save features (well, at least when you're connected to the internet, else it'll save locally first). The database I'm thinking to store these should be the user's own google drive (but that would required the user to sign in to their drive first).

Inversely, I'm thinking if the user did edit the doc in the drive, it should reflect in the app too, so I'll need to think about that. But the idea is that one chapter should be stored in one doc, and then separated by a scene separator symbol (I'll figure this out) to break it into scenes in the actual app. That may be a bit messy to edit in docs though so maybe a traditional folder + docs might suffice but then, there's also a space constraint, where there is too much scenes. That's probably where the web services come in.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

And, oh! another diagram!

Ok look, the user flow made perfect sense to me while I was making it. After looking at it again while writing this... In hindsight, I should also make a screen/page flow diagram, or sitemap, so here it is! So- ta-da~!

So this should be the whole flow of screens for the app. There may be more screens in the future but for now I think this should be it!

The app mainly just consist of -

The home page - which displays ALL your works/books

The ideas page - which is basically my notes app for, well, ideas, word vomit, random shower thoughts about how much you want a fictional character to be xxx

The writing page - which will be the main working space, the rest of the pages like references, characters, places, timeline, chapters and individual scenes can be accessed easily from this page too

The profile page - well, it's your profile! Access your profile settings, change themes, work space settings or what you want to copy in your html here - maybe add friends for collabs and betas in the future? We'll see

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

And that's it! ...For now

Oh my god, I'll admit, this post went on longer than I expected haha. That's all that I have to share for now! Next up, I'll get started on the wireframing process (moodboards? hunting down apps? reddit???? ok nevermind, reddit sounds like a bad idea). I know I kept calling it app, but I think I want it to have an app, windows, (macs?) and web version.

Thanks for making it this far and reading it all!

[raisinchallah]

Naruto and/or yyh 1,3,8,12

the character everyone gets wrong

for naruto its sasuke 100% like literally the sheer number of bad sasuke takes humiliating insane mean that i a sasuke understander am forced to read them etc

and for yyh well i guess keeping on the edgy character theme i do think its very funny how many people take hieis edgy hot topic slogan t shirt quotes at like face value and dont realize hes kind of a loser who does in fact love his friends

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

literally whatever sasuke haters have to say oh you think hes toxic or actually no funniest take are people who think sasuke and narutos relationship is abusive or sasuke is simply too terrible for naruto etc or whatever i have seen so many bad sasuke takes in the world i cannot begin to list them all

yyh fandom honestly i have very little beef tho i am haunted by one random post i saw in the sensui tags claiming koenma and sensui were exes which i literally do not even know how to begin to process that one

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

itachi being like cool or iconic edgy whatever dsfajkl;adkfdj;ls like ok his design very good no notes but like if u got yourself to the end of naruto and dont think hes just insanely lame in like a funny way idk

the fact its like yyh fandom consensus that toguros the best villain literally ZERO taste does everyone have a chip in their brains that makes them forget chapter black existed

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

hmm i cant really think of a naruto character for this im really just a sasuke girlie now <3

but for yyh well as im sure you knwo from my side blog SENSUI GIRL TIL I DIE i dont actually know if i want the tiny 3 person sensui fandom to increase in size but also like stop hating gay people hes an iconic villain the fact hes not even acknowledged as the best yyh villain cuz people are invested in toguro of all people insane a slight against everyone the bad taste i respect no one but like literally the way hes such a perfect foil to yusuke and like reflection of the ways koenma used them both and how it opens yusukes eyes and he literally has a weird boyfriend who can make pocket dimensions and encourages him in his evil plots

[seasonal-writes]

that’s ok! how about 8, 11, and 58 instead

- (:

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story? Ohh.. hm, probably the middle. It's a little cliché, but i LOVE the meat of a story, and usually that's found in the middle. It's the perfect spot right between when things are getting started, and when things are coming to an end—and endings also usually make me cry, so. yeah. even if they're happy.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now oh BET. some of these are ongoing, btw! 1.) "With Two Seeming Bodies but One Heart" by HitheePrithee 2.) Literally all the works from this Resistance AU by oh-snappers and peskyybird (but "promised" is my favorite. caters to my lil ethubs lovin' heart.) 3.) The Highwayman by EnvelopedbyOblivion

I HAVE SO MANY FAVORITES. but these are the ones that i'm currently brain rotting over. ngl i read "The Highwayman" months ago but i've been listening to the podfic (also done by sir HitheePrithee. he's doing so WELLLL, go listen!) and so the brainrot has returned.

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)  Hmmm.. Brainstorming and writing are my FAVORITE parts of the writing process, honestly. I like to edit, too, but it's not nearly as fun as the actual writing part when i'm just tossing everything onto the page with reckless abandon!

thank you for more questions<33 :D

[aj-theteenagecondition]

the teenage condition-chapter 1

(none of this is proof-read, read or do not idc)

ive got this nervous feeling about starting something new. i haven't felt really anomymous and simultaneosly been interacting online in forever, not since i was too young to reasonably be a functioning part or a contributer to the internet. before i was old enough to have my own accounts with my own name and age and personality, i still snooped and lurked around the web, but i wouldn't dare post something. i felt guilty, afraid, that oh god oh no, someone (my mom probably) would find that i watched unreasonable amounts of youtube when i said i was asleep, or read copious amounts fanfiction for a fandom mostly written about by 12 year olds and therefore, was quite shit. but im just writing, because my brain feels like it has to, and writing on paper can get a bit slow, and im terrible at keeping a good accurate journal (for fear that someone i know will read it and finally see me or understand something critical and embarrasing about me). i was going to start an angsty teen journal in a black moleskin notebook, but i felt guilty that i had too many notebooks i gave up on halfway through.

its raining like the worlds ending where i live, which is to be expected in january. i hate winter. i understand that people love the snow and rain and wearing their earmuffs and cute outfits, and ice skating, and skiing and snowboarding, etc etc. but my room is cold and my feet are cold and my hands are cold and my school is flooding and waking up in the dark makes me want to die. im not really looking forward to getting life back on a schedule and going back to school. i go to a good school, i have plenty of friends, ive never fallen too behind. things are fine. but also: things are suffocating. so many people who i've known for literally my entire life. and my same friends talking about surface level topics. sometimes i wonder if we really know eachother at all. and other times i love them so much that everyone around us pales in comparison. lately (for the last year) i've felt like i need a closer friendship, i need an outlet, i need a confidant, and even though i have known them for like 10 years, i don't feel like i've ever had that. i dont think i've ever had that with anyone at all. probably a bit of me problem.

i was on a long trip with my family over winter break and started having quite bad anxiety. to get through it, of course a good distraction would do me some good. and what better distraction than reading one of the most famous fanfics that the internet seems to have been absolutely raving about: All The Young Dudes. i finished it this morning. ok actually this afternoon. mostly what i would like to say is: fucking ouch guys. i didnt actually have that much of an interest in the fandom (definetly not planning on reading anything else about it or interacting or writing), to be honest i wanted to see what all the fuss was about. now that i've actually read it all those "anything for our moony" audios on tiktok from like over a year or two ago really pack a punch. my thoughts: the beginning was very slow, but that definetley made the rest of it more impactful; sirius and remus's relationship is actually pretty toxic, but it was delightful to read; i struggled to get through any chapter after they left school, i predicted that it was going to hurt and boy howdy did it. i get it a little but also so much of it was so sad and so much of it was all unprocessed trauma and unresolved conversation and arguments, which sort of pissed me off.

not to say that it wasnt beautiful and also helpful. things i was reminded about myself through reading atyd: my friends dont know to much about like the vulnerable parts of me but its probably because I AM bad at communicating and being open; i do not like unresolved convos and arguments (my parents fight fr); i am probs trans, and have accepted that but not really bc if i had i would have processed it and actually made a move in some direction after mentally having proposed this idea to myself like 3 years ago with the irrisputable evidence of feeling gay for men; i avoid dealing with my problems; and of course i really love a story about buddies being pals.

also i cried a lot reading it

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - completely finished under Moonrise

Wow, oh wow.

From the top: first we had fight #1 with Ketheric. I made sure not to kill Kar’niss earlier because I thought I’d have an opportunity to talk to him on the roof, but nope! We just jumped straight into fight #1, and then he was just a large extra hassle to deal with. I felt SO bad killing him, because I had to incapacitate him somehow, and my bard has really good fear spells so that’s normally what I use. It felt really crummy making this poor guy cower while I slowly chop him down. Sigh. (hey what comes out of those incubating death rock egg things? I was too scared to see and killed them all immediately)

Man. I couldn’t stop staring at Ketheric’s eyes though. Even on lower rendering settings, you can see they clearly spent a TON of effort on his eyes specifically. Man, guys. You must have had a special task team that worked for months just specifically on rendering his wrinkles, and the glassy rheumy effect of his eyes. Holy shit. It’s such a cool direction to take, set up your baddie as this awful, ruthless general with all the battle remains and the chilling letters, make him creepy as fuck with the goblin and the axe demonstration, then also put a shitton of effort into making him also just a really really sad really really old man. I love it.

Then after that: wading through the mindflayer colony. Online says that the companions who have extra dialogue or cutscenes in here are Wyll, Gale, and Karlach, but :( :( :( that leaves no room for Astarion? I decided to not have Karlach. Sorry babe. And anyways, without Astarion, who else is going to take out poor old Chop in one single merciful blow?

I rescued Zevlor from the pods, thank god, thank GOD finally. (hilarious to see his tail poking out the back there) My tav has been upset about him for weeks here. Goddamn, poor guy, he’s been thralled by the Absolute but doesn’t care what you tell him, he puts the blame on himself. Even when you tell him it’s not his fault he was enthralled, he still says that that might be true, but whatever the Absolute does, it starts with something that’s already inside you. Buddy, my buddy. And they programmed so many different ways to get angry with him and blame him. Why? Why do you even want to blame this poor guy who is already blaming himself more than you ever could? I mean at best he was enthralled and couldn’t help it, but at worst he just made a bad decision that he honestly and immediately regretted entirely and was disgusted by. Leave this poor old man alone. He won’t even get angry if you pick the most aggressive and mean dialogue options, he just agrees. Sigh. Back with the other tieflings, you can mention to Cerys that you found Zevlor, and she will just be angry at him for letting them down when they needed him. And I mean. Yes that’s valid but damn it makes me sad. Poor sad old man. Anyways he leveled up in the time we were away, and he is a mean fighter now! Nice! I wish he could have stuck around longer. That was an awfully short conversation, for as much as it was all built up, with all the other tielfings mentioning how angry at him they were! Is this REALLY the only interaction we have with him now until act 3???

DAYUM this area is shitty for a resisting dark urge. So many lovely horrible things down here. Wow. My poor tav, he needs a big long rest to process all of this, but after you’re done everyone wants to talk and there’s a big old cutscene coming up. Poor guy, no rest for you.

THE MIND JARS: wow ok. So at the very beginning of the game, you found those two green brain jars on the nautiloid. Hopefully you stuck them in your storage, or maybe you thought they were useless and you just sold them. EIther way, I’m pretty sure it didn’t occur to you to bring them with you when you went into the Moonrise pit? Why WOULD you think to bring them? It’s too bad if you didn’t, because in this area is the only machine in the game that lets you use these jars, and once you find the machine and realize what it’s for, you can’t travel back to your trunk to get them, and you ALSO won’t be able to return later on. So. Tough luck. Me, I was travelling with my team of 8 str weenies, and every mind jar I found, I sent straight to my camp! Why wouldn’t I? These guys can’t weigh themselves down with extra shit! By the time I found the machine and realized what it did, there was only one jar left in my inventory that I didn’t send back to camp.

I suppose the jars maybe are supposed to be a fun little easter egg for players who go back and play again. Too bad I’m very willing to reload and redo things for hours and hours lmao. I reloaded just a couple hours and this time brought all the jars with me. Thanks, I hate it! What a horrible and disturbing little touch. Yay. Was my least favourite the child mind, or was it the spooky singing one? Hard to say!

I was shitting my pants when Ketheric turned into the Myrkul apostle form, cause it looked scary, but damn? We just all slammed it a few times and it was totally fine? Very very cool boss though. I loved the little skeletons sitting on his shoulder with the flails. Goddamn Ketheric stayed sad right until the end huh? Driven to do horrible things in a misguided attempt to help his daughter, forsaken by three different gods, and his last dying thought and words were of Isobel. I fucking lost it when I found the little note that he keeps on him. Excellent writing Larian, excellent job of making your good guys flawed and your bad guys sad. Man I love it.

Now I have a shitton of talking and cutscenes to wade through to get to act 3. I absolutely ADORE how when the guardian talks about the elder brain, it is just ever so slightly the wrong reaction, lmao. I love how instead of being just generally horrified that there’s an elder brain there at all, it seems to be really, really indignant that mortals are controlling it. “I mean yes hey let’s go save the people of Baldur’s Gate from being turned into mindflayers, but the audacity! The audacity of putting an elder brain in thrall!” and my tav is like hmmm I feel like that’s an… unusual reaction to this situation….

Astarion is absolutely preening after the fight, saying that he never thought he’d be the one defeating the shadows. Yeah see buddy, it feels good sometimes to play the hero, doesn’t it?

Man, my party is enormous now because of all the summons I have walking around with me. I currently have Scratch, three quasits, a shadow wraith thingamajig, an earth elemental (which oh man I absolutely love) and now, the latest addition, a cambion. The cambion is hilarious. It’s a totally sentient and intelligent thing, but I can’t talk to it at all. I imagine it’s pissed off at being summoned here away from its dinner to do boring bullshit errands for this group of wankers, so it just totally and completely ignores me.

Off to act 3 now! Can’t believe I’m in the final act of the game! Can anyone tell me where I can get my own tall, hot, and intensely devoted aasimar girlfriend?

[ifanfictiondreamerworld]

The Ultimate Story the Beginnings Chapter 17-Misty Finishes her Training

It is nearly an entire year since Misty was brought to planet Corneria. Misty is at the brink of finishing up the last of her training. She has improved a lot in controlling her powers and her temper. For the last few months, she has been getting less and less angry, even when she is being teased by both Buttercup and Falco. Princess Peach has become very impressed with her progress. Peach: “Very good, Misty. You have done very well. I must say, your behavior has improved quite a lot since we started out.” Misty: “Thank you, Peach, it’s been tough, but I’m starting to feel more and more like a princess.” Peach: “That’s exactly how you’re supposed to feel, Misty, even some the most rambunctious girls needs to learn how to be polite when they need to.” Misty: “You do know of any tomboys besides me and Buttercup, right?” Peach: “Well, as a matter of fact, I did know someone from not too long ago. A princess named Daisy from Sarasaland.” Misty: “Daisy? Hey! I have a sister named Daisy!” Peach: “Really? Well, that name seems to be going around a lot. Anyway, I have always known her to be boisterous. She loves all sports of all kinds. She tends to think of herself as more of a tomboyish sort of character than someone who is very ladylike, such as me. Regardless, even she needs to be polite and delicate since she’s also a princess.” Misty: “Hm…she sounds…out of the ordinary.” Peach: “That would be an understatement, Misty.”

Later on, they reunited with the others. Peach: “Alright, everyone. I believe that I have trained Misty to be a proper princess.” Fox: “That’s great, Peach. I have been noticing her process and it’s as good as you say it is. You’ve done a very nice job.” Peach: “Why, thank you, Fox. I have only taught her everything that I have been taught when I was a young princess. I have to admit, I impress even myself.” Slippy: “Well, that’s good. Misty is so pretty, but can be very painful to watch her lose her temper. I’m just glad that I can be able to see her smile more often.” Misty: “Why, thank you for that, Slippy. It was very nice of you to give me a gift when we first met. You’re so nice.” Slippy: “Thank you, Misty.” Falco: “So what now? Are you going to make her attend some of your fancy tea parties now that you got her personality all tidied up?” Misty: “Watch it, bird brain! I’m not that much of a fancy princess!” Peach: “Easy there, Misty. Remember your temper.” Misty: “Oh! OK! You know, Falco, that’s no way to talk to a lady, especially since you were all infatuated with my princess form.”

Falco blushed. Fox: “You know, she’s got you there, Falco.” Falco: “Shut up.” Peach: “Nice going.” Misty: “Thanks.” Peach: “You know it’s not easy to handle someone like Falco, so that was pretty good and I didn’t even teach you how to handle him.” Misty: “Thanks. I can tell beautiful girls like me in my princess form is a weakness of his and it was so much fun to take advantage of that.” Peach: “Yes, I have noticed that many times before.” Peppy: “So, what are you planning to do now that you have her behaving like a princess?” Peach: “Well, since she has been doing a lot of practice, I was thinking that maybe it’s time for her to meet General Pepper.”

Everyone around them became surprised. Fox: “What? Are you sure about that?” Peach: “Yes, I am positive.” Slippy: “Um, not to discourage anyone, but Peach, he’s not exactly someone that any bystander can talk to.” Fox: “He’s right. The general is very strict and if Misty is unable to talk to him without losing her temper, it could leave a bad impression.” Peach: “Yes, yes, I can understand that. I know the general is much like a perfectionist and I understand as well as any of you that his job depends on being that way, but he’s also very polite. I’m sure he would be very thrilled to meet a young girl like Misty, especially since she is from Earth.” Fox: “Well…OK, Peach, but I have to warn you, if she doesn’t do very well around him, the general will not be able to think very highly of humans.” Peach: “Don’t worry; I’ll be sure to have her practice some polite speech skills and her proper manners before then.” Falco: “Good, she’ll need some more practice in order to deal with the general with how immature she is.” Misty: “Why, you…” Peach: “Falco! I’ll have you know that she’s more than capable of being very mature, perhaps even more mature than you!” Falco: “Hey!”

Buttercup began to laugh. Falco groaned.

Later on, Fox, Peach, Misty and Lisa were walking around. Fox: “So, when do you plan on having her meet the general?” Peach: “Well, let’s see…I have not put in a specific date to meet him. Do you know if he’s here or not?” Fox: “Let’s see…he arrived here as soon as he received the news about the ships we found in the bottom of the ocean. So…I think he’s been here personally investigating the shipwrecks. Tomorrow’s the anniversary of those ships going down.” Misty: “How’s the investigating going?” Fox: “Not so good. The investigation has revealed a lot of things, none of which brought out any good news.” Peach: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Misty: “Can you tell us what they found out?” Fox: “I’m sorry, I was never told what they have found out. The general wouldn’t tell us anything, but he looked very distraught, so I can tell that he didn’t like what he came across.” Peach: “Oh, dear. Well, all the more reason for all of us to be on our best behavior, so we had better be ready when we meet him tomorrow.” Misty: “Yeah…I understand.” Lisa: “Don’t worry, I’m sure you will do just fine.” Misty: “Have you ever met the general before, Lisa?” Lisa: “No, but have been reading the minds of the Starfox team and so far all their thoughts about him are not bad. They do have some unsettling grunts here and there but none of which are overwhelming.” Fox: “Yeah, the general is not exactly someone we like to have around all the time, but we keep in touch with him. He does after all pay us every now and then.” Peach: “Come on, we still have a lot more work to do before tomorrow.”

And so, Misty and Peach walked off as Lisa and Fox followed them.

[365-daysbeforewedie]

You want to know something kind of funny?

I wrote about you. A lot. and then I deleted most of it. What’s weird was that you weren’t present too much. You were.. what? Four months? Five months? Of thoughts and flirtations and undefined boundaries and lines that were crossing all over one another.

And yet I think of you still.

You bled into the existence of my music, and all of these thoughts that I can somehow remember despite my swiss cheese brain.

And at the same time, I can’t recall you.

I can’t recall the taste of your skin, or how you smelled fresh out of the shower. I can’t recall the way your laugh sounds or what things made you happy, I just remember a lot of anger. And frustration. And some pieces of how good the sex was.

But even then.

It’s like shattered mirror pieces where I can see parts of myself reflected in the past and I can look at them and see small glimpses of what used to be.

I’m pretty sure it was less than four months at this point.

And yet you are still a thought in my mind. A fixation that my brain is trying to grasp despite not remembering.

Maybe it was because I saw a lot of what I used to want in you. Or a lot of how I used to be. I think I saw a lot of myself in you, how lost and confused I was and how at the same time I was so sure of myself and almost cocky with how ok I was with misunderstanding.

There wasn’t a lot of room for misgivings between us. And I’m not sorry about that. From the get go a lot of everything was wrapped up in other people and I was so worried about the little things that I had let you latch onto the bigger picture which was the possibility of being together.

But I couldn’t start off on something this sour. This dislikeable This.. similar. To so many other broken beginnings. And maybe I’m currently latching onto the idea of you and how I could have fixed things because it’s so similar to so many other things that recognizing the pattern and trying to fix it instead of trying to change myself is where I’m going all wrong with this entire process. 

Not-being with you was such a weird juxtaposition of a relationship I wasn’t even sure was going to work out and never really gave a real chance to that I was surprised at myself at how easily it was to let everything just.. go. Deleting everything was definitely the final nail in the coffin and even though I can’t remember much, the things I do remember my brain very fiercely remembers. 

But so much of what I remember is based in fear and anger that I’m not 100% sure if that’s even a good thing. Which I definitely feel like is not a good thing but so be it.

I wonder how many of those notes you’ve found. Are there still more lurking in your stuff? I wonder, especially if you found the notes that are stuffed inside of that dragon ball z pill.

Probably not to be honest, and it doesn’t break my heart to think that you haven’t found the notes or that you got rid of them. Though I do wish that you had given me that picture of me and Bandit back, but I guess that’s just another loss I’ll have to be ok with. Over time I will be, and over time I’ll forget more and more until you become another memory I struggle with remembering in more detail.

It’s only been 6 months anyway. I’m sure I’ll forget more soon, don’t worry.

[softly-gazes]

hey! i wasn’t sure if it was ok to reblog your last post so i thought i’d message. i really really enjoyed reading it — all really good thoughts. while i loved the song on my first listen, including and perhaps mostly because of the atonal autotune, i found the (rap) lyrics to be a let-down and your post helped me articulate my thoughts on why — they do feel like posturing, and slightly disingenuous coming from his own mouth. i Am trying to figure out if there was some deeper reasoning behind it (like i believe there was for the vocal processing), which if there were would align with what you have written here, or if it’s just an unfortunate byproduct of having supreme boi in the writers’ room, lol. (not trying to take away agency from jimin here — but the pre-chorus and chorus lyrics are all much closer to what we saw on lie, which makes me lean towards him taking the lead on those, and the rap lyrics are a lot closer to what i know to be supreme boi’s wheelhouse.) 

i perhaps see less of the machismo you see in the overall song and performance (apologies if i’ve misread you and that’s not what you were saying) and that is why only the rap lyrics stand out in this way to me. i think it would have been so easy for this performance to be dripping in ostentatious masculinity and swagger, the kind 2013-14 jimin was striving so hard to emulate, and to my eyes he doesn’t really do that here. he looks at turns defiant (but in a very…off-kilter way?) and at turns like a caged animal. i’ve used the word visceral before in a post, i think, and it’s still probably the best descriptor i can think of. very much the “insane” part of “going insane to stay sane”. he also does really interesting things with costuming, despite how simple it is — the more masculine leather jacket layered over the much more femme cut of the tank top, for example. even his toplessness is interesting; something which once again he could have injected with sexy macho swagger if that’s what he was going for, but he didn’t. no washboard abs, unlike debut jimin, but a modernist german poem covering his whole chest. i know many fans were drooling over it but i really do not think sexiness was the intention there (much like filter, lol). and i’m not sure i ascribe any particular significance in this sense to the genre of the song either, although i get where you’re going with it — he’s expressed a love for anthemic hip hop before (eg. ON) and the instrumentation is the kind of dramatic and theatrical i would expect from him after lie. even the way he plays with his voice is interesting — i have said this elsewhere but the first half of the second verse is pure unhinged hyperpop girl to me, which i love.

BUT the rap lyrics — yeah. (i keep saying rap but to be fair he isn’t really rapping — more like fast talk-singing.) it’s reminiscent of the kind of appropriative (with the AAVE and the hennessy) hard masculinity bts were going for at the beginning of their career, and which jimin found so ill-fitting, and that’s what makes it jarring to me. and not good jarring — i would describe the autotune as jarring too but that is why i love it — but kind of try-hard and insincere. hennessy and “opps” in the original sense of the word aren’t really reflective of jimin’s experiences at all. (i also just find it poorly written, but i’m trying to dig a little deeper.)

anyway — sorry if this is jumbled! i completely get all your thoughts as a fellow Jimin Gender Thinker TM, and they really jogged something in my brain when trying to articulate my own. as much as soft jimin at the end is closer to the Real Jimin (insofar as that exists and can be perceived by us, lol) i’m not sure if we should dismiss the other jimin as something to be left behind entirely — i think that rage and defiance are all very much within him, even if he has mostly exorcised them out of his system with this song. and i don’t really associate those with gender at all? am i making sense? lol. i really love the conclusion you drew from it otherwise, and i *think* that is where i am also sitting at this juncture. he’s getting out and going somewhere else (like in the mood picture, like in the darkness vs light theme of the pholio).

(feel free to reply to this privately or publicly, i don’t really mind either way! thanks for reading this whole essay!)

Hi, reblogging is okay!

Thank you for messaging, always a pleasure to meet another Jimin Gender Thinker TM! I actually read your post on the vocal processing and I loved it, because it hadn’t occurred to me at all that it might indeed be a hyper pop-esque stylistic decision to create a secondary vocal persona. Really interesting, and it makes a lot of sense! I think my shortcoming in this department is that I simply don’t like autotune effects in general. I always joke about how I wish I could get into hyperpop, but I am simply too uncool and pedestrian in my music tastes to get it. Your perspective really gave me a new appreciation for the effects in this particular song, so thank you!

I agree with you on there being barely any hip hop machismo in the performance, which is why the choice of 'rap' lyrics were so jarring to me as well (I had entirely forgotten that Supreme Boi worked on this song, and now that you mentioned it I can’t unsee it lol). You correctly spotted that in my post I kind of ascribed masculinity to hip hop as a whole, which is a mistake, and a shallow and reductionist view of the genre on my part. It’s simply not true. I think that in my ‘writing Jimin post’ fugue state I latched on to stereotypical ideas of hip hop imagery that come across in these specific lyrics and couldn’t really look past them. I also agree that should they be taken at face value, they do not gel with how Jimin has established himself as an artist so far, which makes them feel so disingenuous and strange. Like, Jimin has not exactly characterised himself as a hip hop -phile in the same way that the rap line has, for instance.

This is why I laser focused on the quotation marks in the lyrics and the placement of the Hennessy name drop. I just kept thinking ‘why are these in quotes? Why is the Hennessy directly after the introduction of the metaphorical maze?’ I feel like interpreting that particular verse as referential to something that Jimin does not necessarily subscribe to, but rather an external concept he is examining, gives them a little extra dimension in this context. Like he’s somehow aware that these words don’t fit him. This could, of course, just be me projecting, but I can’t seem to let go of that in particular.

I also absolutely agree that past Jimin should not be dismissed as a relic of times long gone, though it may come across that way in my post. He, as we all do, contains multitudes, after all. I think my main point with the metamorphosis metaphor (haha) is less about Jimin leaving rage or defiance behind, and more about changing the way he processes and expresses them. He’s plenty angry in this song, and though it being a hip hop track harkens back to days of yore in a linear understanding of Jimin’s artistic development, he is doing it in a different way from then. Notably, alone, and with the notion of his anger stemming from pretense and self-supression on a personal level (rather than societal like in bts’s early discography) being made explicit. He is openly saying that he refuses to hide, nevermind the cost.

I love that we both have the same interpretation of Filter and the meta around it, what a genius combo of song-writing and performance. I find it really funny how often I’ve come across people characterising it as a sexy song and thereby exemplifying what the song is about. It’s a wonderfully self-aware track, acerbic, almost cynical, I’d say. I quite dislike the idea of Jimin himself primarily being characterised as ‘soft’ or ‘cute-sexy’ or even just ‘sexy,’ as even though these are notable components of his celebrity image, they are just that, isolated parts. Though his image has changed and fluctuated over time between more conventionally masculine aesthetics and conventionally effeminate ones (I stress the word conventional because gender isn’t fundamentally tied to aesthetics, but in the context of celebrity image we are operating within a matrix of established gender code lol), he is invariably portrayed as very strong both physically and mentally. I'm not sure I articulated that as well as I could have but I hope it makes some sense lol. I’m really interested in whether or not Face is going to address that and how Jimin sees himself in regards to it.

I also agree that Jimin’s shirtlessness in Set me free pt. 2 is not primarily intended to be sexy, but rather a visually striking symbol of commitment to authentic life within his artistry. Like, he has symbolically ‘engraved it into his chest,’ similarly to the ‘Nevermind’ tattoo, which we know carries significant meaning for him. Visual communication!

Again, thank you for reading and writing as well, my favourite part of fandom is analysis with company! This is also all over the place, I hope I did not misinterpret anything you said too badly and that this doesn't come off as an incoherent ramble lol

I will follow you with my main blog!

[ichayalovesyou]

TOS in Beloved Retrospect

A GREAT Show that is absolutely canon! But I’m Taking the Rose Colored Glasses Off

Listen, it’s no secret that I absolutely ADORE Star Trek: The Original Series. It’s easily in my tied top 3 with SNW and DS9.

But you know what?

I am so, incredibly SICK of people treating it like a sacred document whenever literally any show that’s set before it does almost any plot point that’s even tangentially related to it.

Let’s take off the holy pedestal for just, two seconds please I am BEGGING you.

Star Trek TOS is an episodic show from the 1960s and the showrunners (including Roddenberry!) had NO IDEA, at all, was going to spawn an absolutely massive, beautiful scifi universe that’s practically a genre unto itself.

Even when they made a second series they tried to get away from TOS with the century time jump! Some creators going so far as to want it to never have existed at all, at least briefly, like, uh, Gene Roddenberry.

I can safely say I and many others are VERY glad TOS never got decanonized, but some facts still remain.

As a result of time, The Original Series is very much limited by when it was made. Such as!

In it’s cultural attitudes to minorities and women, see: the POC and female characters not getting any major plot lines until after TOS.

Literally one of the first things that got disregarded by pretty much all other Star Treks that take place before and after is that women can’t become captains (like wtf was that about?? Oh wait, it was the 60s 🙄). It was literally like, the peak of sexism, and cloaking devices existing before the Romulans showed up that get decanonized the first chance they had (it’s literally been happening since Enterprise and people freak out about invisible ships, every time).

In the fact that because it was exclusively, extremely episodic, every episode was the first time anybody ever saw anything because they had to introduce it to the audience without confusing them and making them turn off the TV or change channels.

Do you know how many times I, a Zillenial who grew up with a mix of episodic/serialized shows, had to suspend my disbelief because if this show was any less episodic the main characters would’ve learned their lesson already from a previous episode or would still be processing the trauma of a previous episode? So many! Watsonian explanations galore!

It was TOS movies that changed the Klingon character design with no explanation. Every time there’s an evil double of Kirk or he gets possessed the crew reacts like it’s never happened to anybody before! Kirk convinces a computer to kill itself like eight times and every time it’s like “oh wow look how smart Kirk is getting a computer to commit die”. Kirk loses his brother, his sister-in-law AND his love interest within the span of two episodes and is totally fine afterward! And you know what? I’m ok with that because I have a brain cell and recognize the show was created before serialized television got even a bit popular!

Third of all technology! Listen I hate all that touchscreen chrome color pallete stuff too! I’m also not, never have been, and never will be a technobabble guy! I’m so happy that the Enterprise is still colorful and has buttons and stuff! But ultimately, TOS was a 1960s conception of 250 years of progress, and it came up a little, even VERY short at times (so do all the other Star Treks, you can’t predict progress with 100% accuracy).

So if the tech is better than say, not much more fancy than a submarine in space, I’m willing to give it a pass. Star Trek has been making up and then immediately forgetting/disregarding some completely world altering technobabble from a single episode or movie since the beginning! The tech is a means of storytelling, and it’s clearly not a limitation because people are always changing or ignoring it! It’s only pure vomitous rancid evil when “NuTrek” does it right?

If you take all three of those HUGE things into account, TOS has, by far, the most tissue paper thin delicate canon of all of Star Trek. Quite frankly I would MUCH rather enjoy exploring the 2200s without walking on incredibly fragile eggshells regarding technobabble details or certain alien encounters.

It’s not like Federation ships have cloaking devices in the 2260s or that the SNW crew is out here fighting off Romulan boarding parties or sipping Meridor with the ruler of the Gorn Hegemony. They’re toeing the line to explore familar concepts in a new format (like serialized short form TV) and like, that’s fine! For crying out loud the Ferengi popped up in an Enterprise episode and most people tend to regard that as funny without ripping their hair out!

Have there been some changes to canon I’m a bit lukewarm about (see, the Gorn being as xenomorph-adjacent and unsympathetic as they were in All Those Who Wander) sure, yes, absolutely! Do I think it obliterates the canon of TOS, in which the Gorn only show up in a single episode with very little and vague lore around them? No!

The Doylist explanation, even if it hurts, is that a lot of meta aspects of TOS are falling out of favor or otherwise obsolete. NOT the stories or the characters for certain, but other fundamental building blocks are frozen in the context they were created in. Trying to adhere to them would severely limit any writer trying to explore that era of Starfleet’s history. So the writers are going to adapt to the spirit if not the precise letter of TOS’s canon.

The Watsonian explanations are numerous, but my favorite interpretation (which you don’t have to like, but maybe it’ll help) is that TOS is still fundementally canon, but the elements that make it inconsistent with other treks or with modern expectations for representation and technology are the result of a “universal translator” sending the truth about our future being translated into a way 1960s audiences could understand. Which is ultimately, kind of what Roddenberry’s desires were in the first place, to show us a better future within the confines of what was then modern TV.

[marvelmawrter]

they reach into your room

6x04 coda - Buck sleeps with Connor but says Eddie’s name

Buck doesn’t know how he got here.

Ok, he does. If pressed, he could explain the winding path that led to him saying his best friend’s name while fucking a married man but. He can’t promise that it makes sense.

“Dude, I’m telling you, I’m not offended in the slightest.” Connor’s sitting on the edge of the bed now, boxers on, calmly putting on his socks. “I literally got permission from my wife to get railed by our sperm donor. And somehow, I don’t think you’ll be knocking me up.”

Buck’s next exhale could almost pass for a laugh, but truthfully he’s barely processing a word Connor says. He’s too busy staring at the wall, trapped in the memory of Eddie’s name echoing around the loft.

“Hey.” Connor’s hand on his arm makes Buck jump, shaking him out of his thoughts. Turning to meet Connor’s eyes, recognizing the kindness in them, Buck thinks that may have been the goal.

“Here.”

Connor’s fully dressed now, but he hasn’t run out the door. Instead, he passes Buck his discarded joggers, turning back to peruse the bookshelf as if his interest in the worn paperbacks isn’t just a cover for giving Buck a minute to pull his shit together.

Buck takes the moment for what it is, quickly standing up and slipping the pants over his hips. To be honest, he hadn’t even realized that he was still naked. That somehow, only minutes ago, he was having sex for the first time in months, fucking Connor into his mattress, back in the familiar satisfaction of bringing someone to the edge. Until his brain betrayed him, dredging up the fantasy that is always lurking beneath the surface, the shameful secret escaping when Buck parted his lips, eyes wide as he scrambled up the bed and away from Connor’s confused, searching eyes-

“Do you want to talk to me? About him?”

Connor’s leaning against the strip of wall next to the stairs now, shoes on, phone in hand. But he’s looking at Buck with a softness he doesn’t deserve, giving him more grace than an old fuckbuddy should warrant. For a moment, Buck’s transported back to a cluttered bedroom in a crowded house, the assertion that they don’t have a thing , they’re just helping each other through a dry spell at odds with the way Connor wouldn’t go back to his room, after. He would stay, and they would talk, their truths easier to lay bare in the dark.

But it’s mid-afternoon, years later, and the sun is streaming through the wall of windows that Buck loves and hates depending on the day. Today, the sun feels like a spotlight on his weaknesses.

He can’t say yes to this.

He’s said yes to so many things. Meeting with Connor to begin with, carefully masking the jealousy that consumed him when confronted with proof of what he could have if he was enough for anyone. Giving them the one thing they can’t have, a baby, since watching from the sidelines is better than having no one at all.

He said yes to having Connor back in his bed, his friend stumbling through assurances that he didn’t want to bring it up until Buck had made his decision, that he would’ve asked even if Buck said no to being a donor, that Kameron was totally aware and on board. She had dropped Connor off this morning, two days after they made arrangements for Buck’s soonest day off, and she’d kissed her husband and winked at them both on her way out the door like it was some sort of X-rated play date.

God, what’s Connor going to tell her when she asks for all of the dirty details? She’s obviously into the whole idea. At least they’ll get a laugh out of how much of a bullet they’re dodging - imagine if they went through with using someone this fucked up to make their kid? They can move on and pick someone who hasn’t blown up his whole life, who knows how to have a relationship, who doesn’t just attach himself to any family that will take him in just to get a taste of what it could feel like. No one wants that level of failure mixed into their kids’ DNA.

Talk about it? About Eddie? Buck takes a minute to imagine pulling Connor back to the bed, sitting across from each other pretzel style, rambling about his crush like an infatuated schoolgirl. But Connor already has enough damning evidence - Buck doesn’t need to offer up even more proof that he’s going nowhere. That he’s playing house to trick himself into believing that he’s doing something worthwhile with this life.

“No.” His voice is hoarse. Buck clears his throat and forces himself to meet Connor’s eyes. “No, I’m good. Nothing to talk about. Just an embarrassing mistake.”

Connor stares back, his gaze unwavering for long enough that Buck wonders if he can see the way the word “mistake” is ping-ponging around his brain. That it defines Buck to his core. If that’s why Connor looks so disappointed and sad.

They’re both quiet for another beat before Connor’s phone vibrates and he pushes off the wall.

“Are you sure? Kameron’s here, she was just hanging out at a coffee shop a few blocks away, but I can stay. We can stay. Order some takeout, watch a movie, whatever.”

Buck shakes his head. “Nah, man. I think I just need to hide out for the rest of the day until I get my pride back, y’know?” He forces out a laugh. “Totally get if you guys want to look for someone new, too…”

“What? No,” Connor’s voice is firm, a fire in his eyes. Maybe if that had come out earlier, when all Buck wanted was someone holding him down instead of the other way around. Maybe if he hadn’t started to imagine someone else in his bed, someone stronger than him. Maybe things would’ve gone differently. Maybe he wouldn’t have-

There’s a hand on his shoulder, a thumb on his collarbone. He flinches.

Connor’s hand slides away, awkwardly settling on Buck’s bicep instead. He steps back as two short bursts from a car horn filter in from the parking lot.

“That’s her. If you’re sure, I’ll get out of your hair. But Buck,” he smiles, voice turning soft like secrets in the dark, “like I said, this is separate. Nothing to do with the baby. We’re so, so excited to do this with you, man.”

Buck blinks, and then Connor’s walking down the stairs. Buck doesn’t move, just listens to the door open and shut. He throws himself back onto the bed, knowing he needs to change the sheets but having zero of the energy needed. He just stares up at his ceiling and breathes.

He’s pulled back to Earth by the chime of a new text message. Buck blindly gropes at his nightstand until he finds his phone, pulling it to his face.

One text from Connor, thirty seconds ago: like I said, no judgment here dude. glad to reconnect today 😏 send me your schedule when you have it - let’s meet up to talk logistics 👶

One text from Eddie, one hour ago: forgot to send this last night - what are we gonna do with him?

There’s a picture, Eddie in a black tank top, rolling his eyes at the camera with his arm outstretched, putting Chris’s XBox on the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet. The one with all of the novelty mugs. The “Emergency Dad Jokes” mug that Buck helped Chris pick out is barely visible behind Eddie’s bicep.

Buck stares a little too long.

Buck roles over, burying his face in his pillow.

Buck screams.