#there's too many and i want to answer them all but im always tired

[bucketsorbueckers]

Trouble - 3

Age gap Paige X Azzi

Warnings: language, alcohol

WC: 6k

a/n: i cant decide if i like this im sorry lol

Paige’s POV

The group chat had buzzed one too many times for Paige’s patience. She kicked her phone off the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

When Bridget dubbed it the Elders chat, Paige knew it was going to be annoying. But there was apparently no limit to the chaos Bridget and Courtney could create when they put their minds to it.

And since it was Friday—the end of week one of training camp—they were very committed.

The phone kept vibrating on the floor like it was fighting for its life. Paige sighed, rolled over, and hung halfway off the bed to see what her so-called friends found so urgent.

As soon as she unlocked her phone, Azzi’s face filled the screen. Paige rolled her eyes.

The rookies had their inaugural press conference today. Clips were already making the rounds. She clicked the link—might as well get it over with—and was greeted by the familiar backdrop of the media room.

Azzi sat in the middle chair. Paige’s chair, technically. Chin in hand, looking every bit the composed, polished top pick.

What are you most looking forward to this season?

Azzi smiled. Paused, just long enough to make it look thoughtful. “Learning from the vets, honestly. We’ve got a lot of talent on this team. I’d be stupid not to take advantage of that.”

The video ended. And right on cue, another text from Courtney:

what you plan on teaching her, bueckers?

Paige groaned and dropped her phone on the bed, rubbing a hand over her face. But then—because her self-discipline was apparently on strike—she picked the phone back up. Reopened the video. Paused it.

Azzi, mid-answer. Calm. Poised. Chin lifted. That little tank top.

She looked the same. And somehow…different.

Still Azzi, still smug and steady and annoying in that very specific rookie way. But there was something about the way she sat there, shoulders squared, gaze calm, like she knew exactly what she was doing. Like she’d already arrived.

Paige tilted her head.

Because, yeah, Azzi Fudd had always been talented. Everyone knew that. But this was something else. The way she answered without flinching. The way she didn’t bother being cute about it.

She looked grown.

Paige looked at it for a second longer before closing it out.

Bridget: we still on for tonight

Courtney: yeah i got everything

Bridget: sticking to wine instead of tequila

Courtney: lame. we’re nearing thirty not decrepit

Bridget: speak for your own hangover

Courtney: i know you’re reading this paigey

Paige’s jaw twitched. 

Paige: Your point? 

Bridget: she speaks!

Courtney: you dressed yet?

Paige: I’m good. Not coming.

Courtney: funny. see you in 30.

They always went out at the end of the first week. It was tradition. A reward for surviving the brutality of training camp. But Paige’s body ached in places that didn’t used to ache. Her feet were sore. Her patience was thin. And truth be told, she was tired.

Bone-deep tired. The kind that made her want to sink into a bath and not move until Sunday afternoon. Not dress up. Not shout over music. Not dodge spilled drinks and fake conversations.

She wanted quiet. Stillness. A night to herself.

Her phone buzzed again.

She didn’t need to look. But Paige reached for it anyway. 

Bridget: should we invite the rest of the team? team bonding?

No. Absolutely not. She could hardly deal with the pair of them. Courtney with her endless teasing and opinions, Bridget with her gentle chaos and relentless optimism. Add the rest of the roster to that? The noise? The questions? Azzi Fudd? 

Hard pass.

She started typing—already mid “nope”—but Courtney beat her to it.

Courtney: yes

Paige stared. Blinked. Erased her draft.

Paige: no

Courtney: ignore her she’s a miserable human being

Paige let the screen go dark and leaned back, eyes closed.

They’d all go. They’d drink. Be too loud. And come Monday, Paige would still be dragging her ass through conditioning with a headache and too many regrets. Hard pass. 

Her phone buzzed again.

A new group chat. She groaned. Scrolled. Twelve numbers she didn’t recognize.

One cursed group title: Team 2k25

Courtney: congrats you made it through the first week. let’s celebrate properly. catch you @ fellers. 10pm. rookies get the first round. 

The replies started rolling in—numbers being claimed, outfit discussions, ride plans, someone asking if “pre-gaming” was mandatory (it was). Someone else dropped a blurry mirror selfie with a sparkly top and the caption this too much??

Paige muted the chat.

She wasn’t in the mood. Her back hurt. Her legs ached. And she still had tape marks on her ankles from the week’s scrimmages. But then she caught it—tucked between a sea of texts.

This is azzi. Sounds good :) 

Paige stared at it for a second longer than necessary. 

It wasn’t that she liked Azzi. She just…noticed her. Noticed that she never backed down. That she got dropped to the floor in scrimmage and came back harder the next play. That every morning, Paige walked into the gym thinking she was first only to find Azzi already on the court, headphones in, jumper clean.

Interesting.

That was all.

The Elders chat lit up.

Courtney: so I guess we’ll see you there bueckers

Paige rolled her eyes. Leaned back against the headboard like the question wasn’t bait. Like she didn’t know exactly what Courtney was doing.

She typed back with one thumb.

Paige: didn’t say that.

Bridget: but you didn’t say no 👀

Paige couldn’t help but smile—just barely—as she pushed up from the bed and headed to her closet. She knew the hell she’d catch for not showing up would be worse than a few hours of drinks and shouting over music. And honestly? A part of her didn’t hate the idea of watching her teammates be dumbasses and she could keep them out of trouble. 

She tugged on a pair of black cargo pants, slung low and worn in just right. Paired them with a cropped black tee that hit at her ribs and a zip-up hoodie. Simple. Easy. 

She gave herself a once over in the mirror with a nod. And then she slipped her phone into her back pocket and grabbed her keys off the counter.

Fine. One drink. Maybe two. And then she was out.

Azzi’s POV

Azzi felt slightly frazzled as she stood in front of the mirror in just her bra and underwear, surrounded by a war zone of rejected outfits. Jeans that bunched weird. A corset top that was trying too hard. A dress she liked until she remembered she might be standing next to Paige Bueckers in it.

She was on her seventh maybe-outfit. Her fourth actual panic.

Tonight, they were going out. Team bonding. Vets, rookies, everyone. Which meant—probably��Paige Bueckers would be there.

Right?

She hadn’t answered the group chat. Which wasn’t surprising. Paige had only said like ten full sentences since training camp started but surely, she’d show tonight. Right? Isn’t that like a vet responsibility? 

Azzi didn’t need to be this stressed. She knew that. But somehow, the stack of outfits on her bed felt like a metaphor for her entire life at the moment—nothing was quite right. Nothing said: I’m hot, but I didn’t try. Nothing said: I can shoot a three and ruin your life. Nothing said: Paige Bueckers, you might want to reconsider your life choices.

Azzi flopped onto her bed, legs kicking, and smashed the call button for Hoops and Hos.

“Tell me this is life or death,” Jana said, picking up with half a brow raised.

“It’s worse,” Azzi muttered, flipping the camera.

Caroline joined the call and immediately groaned. “You’re spiraling.”

“I have to go out with the team,” Azzi said. “The whole team. Including Paige. And I need to look like I didn’t think about that fact for more than six seconds.”

Jana leaned in. “Okay. Breathe. What are we working with?”

Azzi spun the camera again—clothes everywhere, a pair of cargos half inside out, four different sneakers on the floor.

“Nike pants. The ones in the corner,” Jana said instantly. 

“Yes,” Caroline said. “With that cropped white tank.”

Azzi rummaged. “This one?”

“Exactly that one,” Caroline confirmed. “Now slick your hair back and do the hoops.”

Azzi nodded, already tying her hair up. “Shoes?”

“Your dunks,” Jana said without hesitation. “Not the new ones. The beat pair. Trust.”

Azzi nodded, following their instructions. 

“Are you going to be stupid tonight?” Caroline asked. “I need to mentally prepare.”

Azzi swiped on mascara like she wasn’t already running late. “Define stupid.”

“Drunk. Flirty. Hovering a little too close to your favorite icy blonde vet,” Caroline said. “Giggling at things that aren’t funny. Needing help getting into an Uber.”

Azzi shook her head, “No. I’m going to keep my shit together like I always do.”

Jana snorted, “Az, you haven’t had your shit together a day in your life.”

“I’m hanging up.”

Laughter exploded on the other end. But before she could hit the red button:

“You look hot,” Caroline said. “Be safe.”

“And don’t be too desperate, Fudd. You kno—”

Azzi ended the call mid-sentence, the screen freezing on Caroline’s unimpressed face and Jana’s open mouth. She dropped the phone face-down on her bed and exhaled.

Tonight, she was going to be cool.

She wasn’t going to drink too much. She wasn’t going to casually end up standing three inches from Paige like that just happened. She wasn’t going to wait around for a compliment or overanalyze a glance or replay any single word the woman said in her head. 

No. She was going to have fun. Get to know her teammates. Dance off the bruises, the rookie nerves, the ache in her shoulder and the one lodged somewhere deeper.

And if Paige happened to notice how good she looked?

Well, that would just be a bonus.

—-

Her and Maddie ubered together. The bar coming into view at 9:58 and Azzi’s leg was already bouncing in nervous anticipation. 

“You look good, by the way,” Maddie said.

Azzi turned, grateful. “Thanks. So do you.”

“It took me like forty minutes to pick an outfit,” Maddie admitted, brushing invisible lint from her jeans.

Azzi laughed. Quiet but real. “Same. I changed eighty times. Ended up calling my friends to make the final decision.”

“Okay. Glad I’m not the only one,” Maddie said, laughing like the nerves weren’t creeping up her spine too.

The car slowed to a stop, the bass from inside the bar already thumping in Azzi’s chest. She took a breath. Held it. Let it go. Confidence was a choice. And she was choosing it.

Then she swung open the door, stepped out, and immediately landed in a puddle.

Cold. Soaking. Regret.

“Shit,” she hissed, hopping back like it might undo the damage. “Maddie, heads up. Puddle.”

Maddie peeked out, clocked it, and daintily sidestepped with a grateful nod. And Azzi shook out her soaking wet shoe, trying to cling to whatever dignity she might have left. 

They stepped inside.

The door swung shut behind them, muting the street noise and replacing it with pulsing bass and neon haze. It wasn’t packed yet—early enough that the dance floor was still half-empty and the bartenders weren’t yelling—but there was already that feel to the place.

Azzi stood just inside the entrance, blinking against the dark. The lighting was moody as hell, all amber and violet, and everything smelled like citrus and hairspray.

Maddie bumped her shoulder gently. “Okay, it’s cool in here.”

“Right?” Azzi muttered, trying not to look overwhelmed as she scanned the room.

The team had claimed the big booth in the corner—half-circle seating, low table cluttered with bags and cups. She spotted Karlie first, hair slicked back, gold hoops catching the light. She was mid-story, hands animated. Next to her, Natisha was nodding along, sipping something pink through a straw.

No sign of Paige. Azzi tried not to let that matter.

“Come on,” Maddie said, tugging her toward the booth. 

They slid in just as Jessica was ordering a round for the table. She raised her brows at them.

“Cutting it close, rookies,” she said, voice dry. Then, with a pointed glance at Azzi: “First round’s yours, Fudd. Bet that NIL bag’s still warm.”

Azzi didn’t miss a beat. She dug into her purse and held up her card. “Least I can do for my vets.”

Jessica smirked. “Better be top shelf.”

“I don’t do wells,” Azzi shot back.

“Yeah, alright,” Jessica said, turning back to the bartender. “I like her.”

The night unfurled from there. Slow and hazy, stitched together by bad lighting and better drinks. Someone ordered another round of shots. Someone else spilled their drink.  And Azzi was mid-laugh—head back, shoulder brushing Maddie’s, the warmth of tequila still blooming in her chest—when the door opened.

She didn’t look at first. Just caught the flicker of movement in her periphery, the way the energy in the room recalibrated like someone had dropped a weight in the center of it. Not heavy. Just…commanding.

Maddie snorted beside her, making a face like she’d just licked sandpaper. “Why did I pick tequila.”

“Because you have poor judgment,” Azzi said, grinning as she passed her a lime.

“Rude.”

“Accurate.”

And then she glanced toward the entrance.

Bridget walked in first, smiling. Courtney trailed after, already mid-story, already laughing. And then: 

Paige.

Black crop top. Blonde hair pulled back. A silver chain catching the low light. She looked so good it felt like a crime against Azzi’s ability to keep her shit together.

Maddie followed her gaze. Clocked it instantly.

 “They still make me nervous,” she muttered, eyes flicking to Bridget, to Courtney, and—very carefully—to Paige.

Azzi reached for another shot and threw it back. Her nails clicked against the glass, a little too loud.

“Don’t let them,” she said. “They’re our teammates. Just older.”

Maddie nodded, saying something, but Azzi barely heard her. Because even as the words left her mouth, she knew they were a lie.

She was nervous too. God, she was. Especially when Paige’s gaze dragged across the booth like it had nowhere else to land and stuck. Right on her. She didn’t smile. Didn’t nod. Just pinned her in place before returning her focus to something Bridget was saying. 

Azzi tried not to track them—tried not to watch the way Paige’s legs moved in those loose black pants, or how that chain settled at the hollow of her throat, or how her hoodie sleeves were pushed up just enough to reveal her forearms. 

She forced her eyes on the table when they finally reached the booth. 

“Well, look who showed up,” Courtney said, grinning as she dropped into the booth. “Glad to see you can take direction.”

“You’re behind,” Jessica said, nudging the tray of shots toward them.

“Not behind,” Bridget countered, grabbing one, handing another off to Courtney, then sliding one in front of Paige with a flourish. 

Paige stared down at the shot glass like it had personally offended her.

“Don’t be soft,” Courtney said, nudging her with a grin.

There was a beat—just long enough for tension to collect in Azzi’s spine—before Paige reached out and took the glass.

And Azzi’s tequila-slicked brain short-circuited. 

Paige Bueckers had the kind of hands that made Azzi want to sin. Long fingers, a couple silver rings, calloused knuckles softened just enough by lotion and God’s apparent favoritism. Veins that shifted when she curled them around her water bottle, or when she reached up to tuck her hoodie sleeve back.

Azzi didn’t usually notice hands. But these? These were ungodly.

Paige lifted the glass to her lips and threw it back without so much as a blink. No flinch. No furrow in her brow. No indication she’d just downed tequila and not water.

Azzi, unfortunately, was not doing as well.

Her own throat was still recovering from round two, and now Paige was sitting across from her—draped in black, a silver chain catching the light, looking like something God made on a day He felt like showing off.

And Azzi could feel every beat of her pulse behind her knees.

She shifted in her seat. Crossed her legs. Uncrossed them. Reached for her water just to keep her hands busy. Just to do something.

“Fudd,” Courtney said, and Azzi’s head snapped toward her like she'd been caught stealing. “You good?”

Azzi nodded too quickly. Then shoved her hands under her thighs like they couldn’t be trusted out in the open.

Courtney smirked. Didn’t say a word. Just slid another shot her way. 

Paige’s POV

The bar Courtney picked was much more club than bar, and—of course—she’d failed to mention that part. The lights were low and strobing. The bass was aggressive. The kind of place where you had to lean in and yell just to get a sentence out.

It was already packed. Shoulder-to-shoulder in some corners. A swarm of bodies and overpriced drinks and someone’s elbow brushing her every time she moved.

“Aren’t you glad you came?” Bridget said, nudging her shoulder. 

“Thrilled.”

Bridget grinned—all teeth, already two drinks ahead—and turned back to the table.

Paige stayed quiet. Let the noise swirl around her.

The music was too loud. The lights too dramatic. And apparently, the drink she’d had before coming out decided now was the perfect time to hit her bloodstream.

Great.

She shook her head like it might help and glanced around the table.

Kayla was flushed, half-slumped against Courtney, animatedly rehashing something from practice with wild gestures and too many sound effects. Jessica nursed a cocktail that was mostly ice, pretending she liked it. Bridget was mid-text, probably talking shit.

Paige cataloged them the way she always did. Who was too drunk. Who’d need a ride. Who was most likely to wander off.

And then her eyes landed on Azzi. And, unfortunately, stayed there.

She was half-turned from the group, laughing at something Maddie said, her hand fidgeting with her earring like she couldn’t sit still. Her hair was slicked back. Her cheeks flushed. A glow that only comes when you’ve drank the right amount. 

She bit her lip as she listened, leaning in like she was actually interested. Like she always looked when someone had her attention. Focused. Intent. Open in this way that made people believe they were saying something worth hearing.

It was infuriating that Paige even knew that.

But she did.

She blinked.

Azzi’s crop top had ridden up slightly, baring a sliver of skin—smooth and lean and infuriatingly on display. And Paige looked. For half a second too long. Long enough to hate herself for it.

She exhaled sharply through her nose and turned back to the table. Nope. No more drinks.

She was done. Finished. Completely cut off. Because whatever buzz she’d caught earlier had officially crossed the line from relaxed to reckless and Paige was not reckless.

She could not afford to be reckless.

Not with that.

Paige clenched her jaw. Forced her eyes away. 

And when she looked back—just to check, just to make sure she wasn’t being completely unhinged about it—Azzi was gone.

Her gaze swept the booth again. Empty space where Azzi had been. The dance floor. The doors. Then the bar.

And there she was.

Leaning against it, elbow propped, a glass in her hand she probably didn’t need. Laughing at something a guy was saying.

The guy was tall. Broad. Wearing some washed college hoodie like he wanted people to ask what team he used to play for. He leaned in slightly and Azzi didn’t pull back.

Paige’s jaw ticked. She turned away, reached for her glass, and took a slow sip—cold water, lukewarm nerves. The condensation bled down her knuckles, but she didn’t move. Just kept her eyes on the table, on the conversation she wasn’t really hearing.

Minutes passed. Azzi’s seat stayed empty. Paige stayed focused on the table.  

But eventually, curiosity—or something more dangerous—won out.

Back to the bar. Back to them. He was still there, closer now. Laughing at something she’d said. A fresh drink appeared in front of her, and Paige felt it—just the slightest pull in her spine, like something bracing.

“Uh oh,” Courtney murmured. “Fudd’s cornered.”

“Not surprised,” Maddie said. “Look at her.”

Paige didn’t answer. Just traced a finger down the side of her glass, dragging through the condensation until it smeared. Her gaze flicked back to the table.

She had no idea what was going on in her head. Probably the cheap-ass tequila Courtney had forced down her throat in the name of tradition.

This is the first shot we ever took together, remember?

Yeah. Paige remembered.

It was just as bad as the first time—sharp, sour, a burn that didn’t warm so much as irritate. Like most things tonight.

“Oh,” someone muttered. “Shit’s getting interesting.”

Paige didn’t mean to look. But when the whole table turned—like a flock of birds catching movement—she followed.

The guy was leaning in now, all puffed-up confidence and performative charm, gesturing toward a fresh drink like it came with a prize. He motioned to it once. Then again. Like she hadn’t heard him the first time.

Azzi didn’t answer. Not right away. Her fingers hovered near the glass, hesitant. There was a smile, but it looked thinner now.  And Paige saw it. The tilt of her head, the way her shoulders shifted back like she was bracing.

Uncertainty. Just a flicker of it. And something twisted low in Paige’s stomach. Something stupid. Something irritating. She exhaled, long and slow, like it might clear the feeling.

It didn’t. 

“I’ll be back,” she muttered, already pushing back from the booth. .

Across the table, Courtney snorted—actually snorted—and clamped a hand over her mouth like it might help. Paige didn’t give her the satisfaction of a glance.

She just walked. Straight ahead, no hesitation. She ran a hand through her hair, smoothed it back. Forced her spine straighter. Gave herself a job to do.

She’d promised to keep the rookies in check tonight. Keep them out of trouble. And that was all this was. Preventative maintenance. Because the guy at the bar was leaning in too far now, mouth moving too fast, too close. And Azzi looked like she was trying to laugh politely through a situation she didn’t want.

So yeah. Paige was going over there. Not because she cared.  But because she was a vet. And this was her job.

“Hey,” she said, sliding up beside Azzi—close enough that their shoulders brushed.

Azzi jumped. Eyes wide as they flicked to her, then away, like she couldn’t decide where to look. The glass in her hand trembled slightly.

“Hi?” She squeaked. 

But Paige didn’t look at her. She looked at him.

The guy glanced between them, still mid-sentence, like he wasn’t quite sure if he’d been interrupted or just replaced.

“You mind giving us a second?” Paige asked, calm. Polite, almost.

Almost.

He blinked. Smiled like he thought he was still in control. “She didn’t say she wanted one.”

Paige tilted her head. Her expression didn’t change, but something in her posture did. An ease that read like danger. Like she’d been waiting for a reason to let something snap.

“She didn’t have to,” she said smoothly. “I’m telling you.”

The guy hesitated—long enough to make it awkward. But her stare didn’t waver. And eventually, he got the message. Mumbled something under his breath, grabbed his drink, and walked off stiffly, ego bruised.

Paige watched him go, just for a second. Then turned to Azzi.

“You looked like you needed an out,” Paige said, voice low.

Azzi turned to her, startled. Wide-eyed. 

“I—yeah. I did.”  She sounded winded. Like the sentence had knocked something loose.

Paige nodded. She should’ve left it there. Stepped back. Rejoined the table, let the moment pass like it didn’t mean anything. But she didn’t move.

Azzi was still looking at her. Holding her glass like it weighed too much. Her mouth opened—then closed. Then opened again, like whatever she wanted to say couldn’t find the right shape.

So Paige filled the silence.

“You don’t have to entertain every guy who buys you a drink,” Paige said, even and low. The kind of voice that didn’t raise alarms, just slid under the skin. “Especially not ones who talk with their hands that much.”

Azzi blinked. Then tilted her head, like she wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or offended. “I wasn’t entertaining him.”

Paige raised a brow. “No?”

And there it was. That flicker. The shift behind her eyes—sharp and quick, like flint striking steel.

“So you were watching that hard?”

Paige’s jaw twitched. “Didn’t need to watch hard. He was loud.”

Azzi took a small sip of her drink, eyes never leaving hers. “Still noticed me, though.”

Paige tilted her head. Stepped in. Just a little closer. Yanking back control the way she always did—calm, measured, sharper than she looked.

“I notice a lot of things, Fudd,” she said.

The name sounded too casual, too familiar in her mouth. Azzi didn’t back off. Didn’t blush. Just raised an eyebrow, like she wanted to see how far Paige would take it.

“Oh yeah?” she asked, leaning slightly—so close Paige could see the tiny freckle beneath her left eye “Like what?”

Paige exhaled through her nose. Deliberate. Controlled. But her pulse was not.

“Like the fact that you hate tequila, but you drank it anyway.”

Azzi’s mouth twitched. “Didn’t want to seem soft.”

“You are soft,” Paige said, dry. “That’s half your problem.”

Azzi’s eyes sparked. “You gonna help me toughen up?”

And it wasn’t flirtation—not exactly. But it wasn’t not, either. Paige let that one sit between them. Let it stretch until it felt like something fragile and electric and totally, totally stupid.

Then she leaned in just enough to ruin Azzi’s breath pattern.

“Go sit down,” she said.

Azzi blinked. Paige watched the way her body reacted before her mouth did—a slight stiffening of her spine, the widening of her eyes. But she recovered. And then, drunk and grinning like she wanted to be punished for it, Azzi tilted her chin up and said, slurred but certain:

“Make me.”

And for the first time in a while, Paige’s breath caught. 

Azzi’s POV

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

She had promised herself she wouldn’t be stupid. That she would behave. That she would keep her shit together.

And yet, here she was. Swaying slightly on her feet. Staring up at Paige Fucking Bueckers after daring her—daring her—to make her sit down.

What the hell was wrong with her?

The tequila was definitely to blame. Or the lights. Or Paige looking at her like that—quiet and unreadable and just the tiniest bit amused, like Azzi was something she could pick up and put back down again.

She hadn’t even meant to say it. The “make me.” It had just…slipped out. Like a reflex. Like her mouth was ahead of her common sense and her body was somehow thrilled to be along for the ride.

And Paige. Jesus.

She hadn’t flinched. Hadn’t smirked. Just stared at her for one long, dangerous second like she was thinking about it.

Azzi’s stomach flipped. Her legs felt unsteady. Her pulse was somewhere near her throat.

Cool. Totally cool. Totally fine.

She forced a breath. Shifted her weight. Tried to remember how to stand like a normal human being. Failed, for sure. 

She took a sip of her drink like it might somehow wash the words back down. Paige clicked her tongue before leaning in—close enough for Azzi to feel her breath against her cheek, close enough that everything else around them blurred.

“How exactly would you like me to do that?”

At that, Azzi’s brain short-circuited. Fully shut down. No thoughts, no words, just static.

She turned slowly, mouth half-open, heart absolutely sprinting, and Paige was still there. Calm. Casual. Like she hadn’t just asked the most unhinging question of Azzi’s life in a voice that barely qualified as a whisper.

Azzi blinked. “What?”

Paige smirked.

Took the glass right out of her hand, fingers brushing hers, barely, but it didn’t matter. Azzi nearly passed out on the spot. Her knees wobbled.

“I think you’ve had enough, rook,” Paige said, all dry warmth and unbearable precision.

Azzi opened her mouth. Closed it. Nothing came out except heat.

And then Paige was turning, already halfway gone, sipping from Azzi’s cup like it belonged to her. Like Azzi did.

Azzi just stood there. Frozen. The ghost of Paige’s fingers still tingling across her skin. Her heart still sprinting like it hadn’t gotten the message that the moment was over.

—-

Azzi, like a well-trained dog, followed orders.

No more drinks.

Not after Paige took the last one straight from her hand. Not after that line. Not after the smirk, the walk-away, the sip that might as well have been a leash.

So she didn’t drink. She just stood around the rest of the night, buzz fading, mind racing, trying not to replay it.

Trying—and failing—not to look at her.

And now, the night was closing. The bar had emptied out, the energy fizzled into something quieter, more exhausted. The cool air outside slapped the sweat from her skin, but it didn’t do a thing to calm her down.

She stood on the curb, blinking at her phone like it might fix itself if she stared hard enough.

Nothing.

Dead.

Of course.

She didn’t even groan—just tipped her head back and sighed, too drained to be dramatic about it.

Behind her, footsteps.

“You good?” 

Azzi turned, slow, and found Paige standing a few feet away. Arms crossed, eyes steady, like she’d been watching for a minute. 

Azzi lifted her phone, thumb pressing the button again like that might change anything. The screen stayed black.

“Phone’s dead,” she said. “Can’t call an Uber.”

Paige didn’t blink. Didn’t look at the phone. Just jerked her chin toward the curb, already turning.

“Come on,” she said. “You can ride with me.”

Azzi’s mind stuttered for a few seconds—full-on static, no thoughts, just Paige. But she knew a good offer when she saw one.

She followed Paige to a black SUV crawling into the back with little grace. Paige climbed in beside her, calm as ever, pulling the door shut with one smooth motion.

“Where you headed?” she asked, already tapping something into the app.

Azzi blinked.

And blinked again.

Her mouth opened, then closed. Her mind, usually sharp, had been wiped entirely clean. She had only moved in last week. And she swore, she knew the address but...

“I—” She frowned. “I just moved in. It’s, um—”

Paige looked up, one brow raised, waiting.

Azzi scrambled. “Off Lincoln. Or maybe near it. I think.”

Paige stared at her for a second longer. Then shook her head once, like she was half-annoyed, half-exasperated.

“The complex on the corner?”

Azzi nodded, relieved. And Paige turned to the driver and rattled off an address that sounded vaguely familiar.

The car moved through the city in silence, the kind that settles late at night—thick and a little sleepy. Azzi kept her eyes on the window. Watched streetlights blur and shift. Tried not to fidget. Tried not to feel everything.

Beside her, Paige sat back. One leg crossed over the other. One hand resting near hers on the seat. She hadn’t said a word since the driver pulled off. Azzi was starting to think maybe she wouldn’t.

But then:

“How you liking Minnesota?”

Azzi blinked. Turned toward her, a little thrown by the question’s softness.

“I—uh. It’s good. Cold,” she added, with a weak laugh.

Paige nodded, eyes still on the window. “It gets worse.”

Azzi smiled. “Great.”

A beat passed.

“You miss home?” Paige asked. Quieter this time.

Azzi hesitated. “Yeah. I think so. Not like…I don’t know. I miss the rhythm of it. Knowing where everything is. Where I fit.”

Paige didn’t respond right away.

Then: “That part gets better.”

Azzi looked at her. Paige still wasn’t looking back. 

“Did you…miss home when you got here?”

Paige shifted, stretching her legs out a little in front of her. 

“No,” she said honestly. “But I missed UConn. And my family.”

Azzi nodded, even though Paige still wasn’t looking at her.

The car turned. The lights outside changed color. They passed a bakery. A closed gas station. The street was quiet in the way that only cities are at 2 a.m.—not silent, just slowed.

“I thought I’d feel more ready,” Azzi said after a while. “Being here. Playing here.”

She felt stupid admitting it. Especially to Paige—who made the league look like a natural extension of herself.

But the tequila made her honest. And, truth be told, it felt nice to admit. Like releasing something she’d been holding since she got drafted.

Paige exhaled. Not rudely. Just the way someone does when they hear the truth and recognize it. Then she turned to her. Actually turned. Looked at her.

And in the low light of the car, she was beautiful in a way that felt unfair. Carved out of shadows and streetlights.  Azzi studied her. Ran her tongue over her teeth. Tried not to let her face show what her chest was doing.

“I don’t think anyone feels ready when they get here, Fudd,” Paige said, voice quieter now. Realer. “It’s all part of the game.”

Azzi nodded slowly. Didn’t look away.

“You made it look easy,” she said.

Paige gave a soft laugh. No teeth. No edge.“Yeah, well…making it look easy and it being easy are two separate things.”

Azzi nodded again, but didn’t say anything else. Let it sit. Let herself hold onto the silence, just for a second longer. The car was slowing in front of her apartment when Paige spoke again.

“By the way, Fudd…” Her voice was softer now, almost casual. “You are ready. You just gotta start believing it yourself. Everyone else already knows you belong here.”

And Azzi, stupid and hopeful and still a little drunk, said:

“Even you?”

Paige chuckled. Shook her head like she was dealing with a particularly stubborn child. But then, shrugged, looking Azzi right in the eye.

“Even me.”

-----

Meanwhile:

Bridget: she got in the Paige’s car.

Courtney: no

Bridget: yes.

Courtney: like… the one Paige never shares?

Bridget: girl. backseat. together.

Courtney: I swear if this happens before playoffs I’m gonna lose $50 to jess

Bridget: you should’ve never picked all-star break. too early. I told you slow burn

Courtney: SLOW BURN? she was ready to pass out when paige took her drink like that

Bridget: and still followed her out like a baby duck 😭

Courtney:

real talk tho are we gonna pretend Paige isn’t like soft around her

Bridget:

thats the best part

[monolotus]

°˖✧◝ (𝙠𝙚𝙮𝙨 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮) ◜✧˖°

includes: wonwoo fighting, mentions of reader having a period, ramyeon

[05:54 a.m]

wonu👾: having breakfast with mingyu! long day ahead 😢

[07:32 a.m]

wonu👾: good morning sleepy head!

[08:06 a.m]

wonu👾: let me know when you wake up!

[11:00 a.m]

wonu👾: just catching up! about to enter the studio, talk to you in a bit💗

[15:53 p.m]

wonu👾: it’s almost four, there’s no way you are still sleeping

[missing call]

[missing call 2]

[15:57 p.m]

wonu👾: are you mad?

wonu👾: if you are mad, at least let me know you are okay.

[16:37 p.m]

wonu👾: i don’t remember you having anything in your calendar, are you at the library? a caffe?

[17:25 p.m]

wonu👾: about to enter practice!

wonu👾: if i’m done and you haven’t replied yet, i’ll be going to your apartment

[19:57 p.m]

wonu👾: babe?

[missing call]

[19:59 p.m]

wonu👾: got left off early, im coming

Wonwoo had been busy all day, their manager bickering whenever he would get a break to text you during work. He couldn’t help it though, it was so rare of you to not reply to his texts. Not only that, but he had to re-write his entire verse in the next title track, as the co-producers said “it didn’t fit the flow”. So, on top of all his work, he hadn’t gotten a single message from you since last night.

He hadn’t seen you active on social media either, this only making him worry more.

As he got closer to the door of your apartment, he could feel his heart almost escaping from his chest as he saw the door unlocked. Why was your door unlocked? Were you with somebody? Had somebody break in?

Filled with questions, he quickly got into your apartment, starting to call out your name.

Going to the kitchen, he grabbed one of the largest knifes he could find, while holding his phone in the other. Ready to call for help if needed. Slowly, he started going to each room- the bathroom, the laundry room, even the little balcony you had.

The door to your room was slightly open, and he could only think the worse. Cracking it open, he saw your figure hugging a foxdungee. With a confused expression on his face, he let the knife in one of the shelves, before reaching for you, only for you to jump once you realized he was there.

“Wonwoo! You could’ve killed me!” You yelled, clutching at your shirt, catching your breath.

“I mean, yeah, you know why? You let the door open! Anybody could’ve break in! How could you forget to lock the door? Is something so dumb! You couldn’t even do that?” He was being harsh on you, but his own heart was beating like crazy- you hadn’t answered any of his texts or calls in the whole day, and you were just in your bed the entire day? He was exhausted after taking criticism and what nots from his members and staff the whole day.

“Well, good thing the building has security! Don’t yell at me, it was a silly mistake!” You pouted, your head had been pounding the entire day, your lower stomach felt hard with each cramp, and you had just woken up, your body too tired and numb to allow you to do something besides sleeping in.

“You’re right, you’re an adult. You should know better than to disappear the whole day and leave your door open to whoever wants to break in, right?” With that being said, he got out of the room, closing the door maybe a little too hard for his own liking.

With a sigh, he took off his shoes (too worried to see you to take them off before entering your home) and took back the knife to grab three packs of the ramyeon you always kept on hand, he started boiling the water.

He took a glance at your apartment, the sofa having one too many blankets, a pack of oreo out of the fridge and the bottle of peanut butter took his attention, a combination you only ate on a specific situation… Checking the calendar on his phone, he let a new sigh. You were pretty regular with your period, also this being one of the few things that can make you feel under the weather so easily.

He started cleaning the little mess you had on your house, waiting until the ramyeon would be ready.

Once he had set the table, he went back to your room. Knocking softly, he entered the space once again.

“Baby, i’m so sorry.” He murmured, seeing you covering even more of your body with the tick cover, “I thought you were just being childish, I didn’t know what date was.”

“Whatever you say, Wonwoo” you whispered, feeling his weight beside you, and his hand caressing your back.

“I’m so sorry” he whispered, pulling the blanket off you just enough to start kissing the little exposed skin of your face. “I should’ve asked if you were okay before overreacting like that. I was just stressed from practice.”

“Then fight with Hoshi and Jihoon, not with your beautiful but cramped girlfriend.” As you let off the blanket, you decided that receiving kisses from your boyfriend was more important that being petty.

Taking the hint, Wonwoo laid with you, starting to bombard your face with kisses. Hugging you tightly, suddenly the days stress started to disappear and the shame of yelling at you started to replace it.

“I’m sorry, jagiya” he murmured against your neck, “But I was worried, you hadn’t replied to a single text of mine”

“Because I was sleeping, Wonu. When have I not talk to you, even when mad?” you replied, with a heavy sigh. “Let’s eat, I can smell the ramyeon from here”

Later at night, when you were wrapped to your boyfriend’s torso while trying to fall asleep, you could only hide the smile that came with your boyfriend becoming so needy for you to accept his apologies. Obviously, a lot of kisses was the perfect payment.

˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙��˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹-˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹-

more / ask & request are open!

[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

inspired by the incredible beautiful amazing perfect absolutely scrumptious timeskip artwork of isagi and rin by @pennim4 🫶

cause i feel so high school; every time i look at you

ft ; timeskip!isagi, timeskip!rin (separately)

content ; gn!reader, hc format, isagi fanart linked HERE, rin fanart linked HERE (once again, thank you to the wonderful artist!)

synopsis ; what’s it like being their lover in their adult lives?

song ; so high school by taylor swift

isagi yoichi

‎♡ if it wasn’t already obvious, isagi is the sweetest. always making sure to not allow you to carry heavy items, always picking up groceries or take-out after practice. although the latter is done with a cap, sunglasses, and a mask to make sure no fans see him.

‎♡ his schedule is tight, as he has to wake up and go to sleep at unimaginable times to practice. he already feels bad enough, considering how you have to do online classes for college just to live with him in germany, as he plays for bastard münchen; meanwhile, you’re in the university of tokyo. because of this, he always makes sure to spend time with you, no matter how tired or busy he is.

‎♡ he will always talk about you at press conferences and interviews. “oh, my jersey? yeah, it’s pretty popular, right? my lover wears mine all the time.” “what do i think about when i score goals? oh, my lover.” the media and journalists are all fed up with him; he literally can’t answer anything without bringing you up. but his fans—crazy fans who are obsessed aside—all find it adorable.

‎♡ you both visit japan every once in a while, always staying at both of your parents’ homes. they’re always asking when you’ll get married, but isagi always just turns beet red every time. whenever you both visit his parents’ house, they’re always fawning over you. they both adore you; after all, you were his childhood best friend. whenever you both leave to go back to germany, your bags and suitcases are full of items that both of your parents’ gave.

‎♡ whenever his fans see you in public, they’re always immediately running over to you. you’re fairly active on social media, and although many people only see you as “the person isagi is dating”, you have your own collection of fans from how lovable you are, most of them also being isagi’s fans. plus, if you’re out, that means isagi’s somewhere around you too. he knows better than to let you go out alone, with so many creepy fans of his.

‎♡ sometimes you’ll take out your phone and pull up a picture of isagi when he was a kid, bringing it next to his face and comparing it to him. in the end, you would just sigh from the nostalgia and leave him confused and a little embarrassed, although he found it funny too. you missed the days when he was too shy to talk to you whenever your family was talking with his parents, back when he was still the cutest kid around.

itoshi rin

‎♡ rin isn’t someone who screams “im the nicest guy ever!” but he tries. over the years, he’s become more mature; he’s mellowed out. he still gets flustered easily, but he’s learned how to control it and how to stop being so undeniably unlikable. he still has a pretty foul mouth, but his anger issues have toned down…a little bit.

‎♡ he also has a pretty damn busy schedule, but not nearly as bad as isagi’s. rin practices a lot, but unlike isagi, he doesn’t constantly entertain or talk to the media or paparazzi or even fans for that matter. he just finishes practice and drives straight home unless you want him to pick something up from the store or if you need him to run a few errands. otherwise, he wants to spend as much time as he can with you, especially since you were willing to move to spain with him since he plays for re al.

‎♡ never ever ever ever EVER doubt his loyalty. whenever someone asks him anything about romance, even if it’s something as simple as “what type of person are you into?” he just immediately answers “my lover.” unlike many of the other adult former blue lockers, rin had never once been involved in a sex scandal or cheating gossips. he’s never seen interacting with any celebrities other than his teammates and fellow former blue lockers, and most other celebrities seem pretty scared of him.

‎♡ his social media account is practically inactive, with no liked posts and no reposts. and yet, on each platform, he has over 25 million followers. but he doesn’t need to scroll the posts mindlessly; he has you to do that. strangely, at night, when you’re both alone surrounded by nothing but the comfort of each other (and your cat laying on top of him), his chin is on your shoulder as you’re both watching tiktoks on your phone together. he makes comments every once in a while, sentiments such as “that’s stupid” or “damn. just break up already”, but he usually just stays quiet to bask in your presence.

‎♡ a lot of fans always ask you which side of the itoshi brothers beef you’re on, and you always just brush it off with a comment or two. “@(y/nnnnnn)_rin’s #1 fan, which side of the itoshi siblings angsty beef r u on???” “@itoshisiblingsmakesmesad, idk it’s just funny imo. their miscommunication is fr worse than kazehaya and sawako’s😭 my husband and brother-in-law beefing lmao” the fans love you, rin’s pr team hates you. rin doesn’t really know how to feel about your comments, so he usually just stares at you for a few minutes before continuing with his day.

‎♡ the media hates rin just as much as they hate sae, which is quite the accomplishment. rin never answers any of their questions unless it’s about you, in which it’s usually a snappy or snarky remark to the interviewer. he’s stoic, and doesn’t really have a reaction to anything that they ask him unless it’s about you. once, he was trying to get home after practice especially quickly since it was your anniversary, but the paparazzi and media wouldn’t stop bothering him. he almost got physically violent with them before he manager pulled him away, in which rin immediately drove home to you and played with your cat for the rest of the night.

[fou4summer]

I'm your one true love

yoo jaeyi × fem!reader

Synopsis: You knew that Jaeyi liked you, and you liked her too, but you always tried to deny it by dating other people. Then one day, after your recent breakup, Jaeyi comforts you and brightens your entire next day, eventually it makes you both confess.

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word count: 1.7k

You were in multiple relationships and they all ended up the same way. With you being cheated on or just both of you just deciding that it wont work out. After every breakup you would go to your bestfriend, Jaeyi, who always comforted you and made you forget about it easily.

She never had anyone even tho the whole school is head over heels for her. She would always say how she already has someone she likes. At first you would always annoy her to tell you who it is, but over time you kinda got it yourself. It was you.

You thought it would eventually stop and that it was just a stupid crush she had on you. Not until you started to feel the mutual feelings about her too. When things would get too risky like you two sitting alone too close to each other, you would always lie that theres a new guy that you like. Everytime her mood would shift, her smile dropping. One time it was a bit more than that...

You were in your room, watching movies and having fun. There was a romantic scene going on in one and she took glances at you. You turned your head towards her and you were inches away from each other.

Her hand was moving slowly on top of yours as she leaned closer. The worst of all you didn't back away. You even put your hand on her shoulder pulling her closer. Until you realized that this could ruin your friendship forever, and you would lose your best friend.

"I'm sorry I really can't do this..." You remove her hand away and stand up from your bed.

"You know I like that guy and-" You try to make up something, but she cuts you off.

"I'm gonna go..." She picks her bag and leaves before you could stop her. You heard in her shaky voice that she was about to cry. You felt so stupid for doing this to her. She was the best choice for you and you knew it.

Come on she rejected half the school and the most popular boys were being pathetic asking her out, but she refused to even look at them. Her eyes were always on you.

-

Now you were with this one guy. I mean he was popular, handsome and not that nice, but not rude. You got a bit of popularity while being with him so that was a plus too. Even tho you deep down knew you would be much more popular and happy if you were with Jaeyi. You just avoided the thoughts.

You were sure you found the perfect guy, until you caught him cheating right in front of you. You were actually a bit broken cause that was your longest relationship. You broke up with him after he tried to tell you how it 'isn't what it looks like'. You heard that sentence so many times you could literally predict when he would say it.

You were still friends with Jaeyi after that night that happened months ago from now. She apologized and it broke you even more.

You were in your room, crying and you felt horrible about doing that, but you still called Jaeyi. It was actually pretty late, around midnight, but she still picked up in an istant.

"Y/N? Is everything alright? Did something happen?" Her voice was raspy and tired making you smile to yourself that she cares about you that much to answer even this late.

"Hey Jaeyi...I'm sorry that im calling this late...It's just that he cheated on me and I broke up with him and I don't know what to do..." You sobbed between words wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

"Oh its okay sshhh...Do you want me to come over?" She said her voice calm and non-judgemental. You quickly replied with a quiet 'yes', feeling like a jerk for doing this to her.

"I'll be there in five minutes...Okay?" Her voice made you calm down a little, knowing that she'll be there soon. You ended the call and unlocked the front door. She opened the door coming in quietly so your parents don't wake up.

"Hey..." She peeked through the door of your room making you sit up a bit. When you saw her you started crying again.

"Y/N...It's okay now...I'm here..." She pulls you into a hug, wrapping her arms around you, holding you close. You put your head against her sweatshirt, soaking it with tears. She caressed your back while whispering sweet things to you until your crying stopped.

"How about we lie down hm?" She whispered and you just nodded. She lied down with your head resting on her chest.

"I'm sorry Jaeyi...I'm sorry..." You couldn't explain anything, but she knew what you were apologizing for.

"It's okay Y/N...I forgive you..." She ran her hand through your hair, making you feel sleepy.

"I love you..." You mumbled against her, your hand resting on her shoulder.

"I love you too Y/N...I love you so much..." Her words made you tear up again, but you didn't want to worry her again, so you just kept quiet until you both fell asleep.

-

You woke up to your mom calling you to eat. You groaned before looking at the time. It was 1PM already. You never slept that long. You also noticed that Jaeyi was gone. You ran out of your room, finding your parents at the table, both confused by your action.

"Where is Jaeyi?" They both smile at your face expression before your mom answered.

"She left awhile ago. She doesn't sleep till afternoon like someone here. She left you a note on your desk, you should check it out after having lunch." Your mom says placing food on your plate.

After eating, you hurried to your room to see the note she left you. It was on your desk and it said.

Come to todays school festival with me please. 6PM at the school gate. I'm looking forward to it and I have a suprise:)

Jaeyi

You smile at the note before turning around to find your mom standing there.

"You better not say that 'you are going out with some guy already' Y/N." She crossed her arms waiting for your answer.

"Don't worry, I'm going with Jaeyi this time. And stop reading my stuff!" You yell as you run to the bathroom to get ready.

-

You arrive at the school gate, about to text her, but you felt someone already tap your shoulder. When you turn around, you see Jaeyi in a beautiful pink cardigan that matched the pink tulips in her hand.

"This is my suprise!" She gives you the flowers making you smile and jump into her hug as she wraps her arms around you. She smelled just as gorgeous as she looked.

"Come on lets go!" You take her hand in yours before stepping into the festival.

That day was maybe the best one in your life. You ate popcorn, cotton candy and had cold drinks laughing and teasing each other all day. You went to the ballpit spending hours there like little kids.

-

You were now sitting at the bench that had a really nice view. You both looked at the stars as her hand slowly touched yours. It was obvious, she was nervous not wanting to make you uncomfortable. Not this time. You took her hand intertwining your fingers together and placing them in your lap.

She turned around to find you already looking at her. She was so cute and adorable. You were thinking to yourself 'How did I manage to reject this person so many times when she was the only one making me this happy?' She nervously smiled looking at you. You didn't want her to think that you'll do the same again.

You slowly leaned in, closing the distance between you. You felt her stiffen a bit, but she quickly relaxed kissing you back. You placed your arms around her neck, pulling her closer. One of her hands went down on your waist while the other caressed your face. You both broke the kiss to catch your breaths. You realized that no one kissed you like that before. It was so full of pure love.

"D-do you like the flowers...?" She broke the silence, her voice nervous and shy. You smiled nodding, making her smile too. You sat there looking at the stars and you kissed her a few more times making her smile into each one.

-

"Sooo...How did you like today?" You were walking back from the festival, holding hands.

"It was amazing. Thank you Jaeyi...You really made my day..." That made her chuckle squeezing your hand a little.

"Always." She looked at the beautiful sky above you. You wanted to just tell her that directly, your feelings for her. You stopped walking making her turn around confused and a bit worried.

"Is everything okay?" She asked and you give her a small nod before taking a deep breath. She needed to hear this.

"Jaeyi...I've liked you all this time. I just-I just didn't want to ruin our friendship or whatever...I was stupid and-" You were cut off by her lips against yours. The kiss turned into a bit more as her hands sneaked under your shirt resting on your lower back.

"You don't know how long i've waited for you to say that. You made me wait for so long..." She took your hand placing it on her cheek and you blushed at how she nuzzled her head into your hand.

"I'm sorry Jaeyi, but now I'll make it up to you for all those years rejecting you. I promise." You told her as she pulled you closer.

"Y/N...Will you be my girlfriend?" You smile instantly nodding and kissing her again.

"I knew from the start that I was always your true love..." She says against your lips before leaning in for more, but you stop her.

"Oh wow stop that!" You hit her arm playfully and she laughs.

She walks you to your house. You kiss and giggle a bit more in front before you eventually go home. Unfortunately your mom saw that and teased you for the whole month saying how she knew from the start. You never lost your bestfriend, she just became the best girlfriend that you never want to lose.

[ellieslittleburrow]

Resuested by @outof-spite : was wondering if you could do a winchester bros & little sister! reader where theyve been arguing constantly lately, and reader is usually combative and always argues back but, this time shes just over the arguing so she just gives up trying to argue with them and kinda goes mute?

Warnings : family fights, yelling

Pairings : Sam/Dean Winchester x sister!reader

A/N : Sorry for the late postt ❤️❤️

-----

Things happen, right? Misunderstandings, judgement, reproaches and blame, all of them, the worst thing that could happen to a family, more importantly-right now-to yours.

Back from a hunt gone bad, you heavily lay in the backseat of the impala, your feet hung over the left window while your head rests over the opposite side of the car.

"Hey-get your feet off my damn leather." A complaint you've heard one too many times, and one you usually fight but- this time, as a sigh leaves your lips, you uncross your legs and bring them down, consequently lifting your upper body to sit up. An avertion from your side that's different from your usual habits, causing the car to fall into heavily loud silence.

And although it is loud with almost audible thoughts and anger, you still enjoy that while it lasts.

And it fucking doesn't last, in fact, just as soon as you entered the motel, another sentence commenced by Sam sent Dean into a fury, and just as things heated up, you found yourself in the middle of it all-again-

"Hey!!-" The shout is directed at you, this you know and choose to disguard. You would answer but- your body is fatigued and so is our mind, answering seems to lead to no vail. You answer, he fights you, you all go to sleep and wake up forcebly normalizing things, as if your throats aren't sore and your brains aren't fried.

"Hey-i'm talking to you-"

The words sound more bitter this time around, and you find yourself reluctantly lifting your gaze up . You look at Dean, slow and undetermined, exhausted.

"I asked you why you did that-You could've waited for us. I know you said there was no time le-" Dean pauses. "And fucking answer me when i talk to you-"

You shrug, causing a choking gasp out of Dean. His eyes widen and he leans forward. "Are you-Is she provok-are you-"

You throw your jacket over the bed, disdain discerned in your every move and you flop on the bed, unaware of the sudden tension that-again- suddenly settles in.

But the thing is--You don't care anymore. You haven't enough energy to get you to fight them once more, neither to explain or defend yourself. Too damn fucking tired is what you are at the moment-Too damn tired of it all.

"Kid?"

You rest your hand over your forehead, closing your eyes in an effort to soothe your aching muscles, and maybe suck in a little more patience.

"Kid."

Your stomach tightens and soon, you'll recess into a bawling mess, so you get off the bed and pick up your jacket.

Please don't lead to another fight, please..You just want it all to be ov-

"What's wrong?"

You shrug once more, shaking your head to motion that all is fine before heading for the door. But Sam comes your way, blocking the door and you blow a long sigh.

"Come here"

Sam grips both of your arms and swiftly-you find yourself glued to his chest. But all happens all too fast-why would he suddenly get all feely- and before you even realize it, you find yourself pushing against him.

"'im sorry-i'm sorry."

A lump builds up in your throat and as flashes of the past few weeks occupy every single space in your brain, your breathing increases-just as it gets harder to breathe. Just the thought of it all_

Your eyes are slowly flooded with warmth, announcing the tears gathering at your eyes. You need to leave. You need to go.

You choke on a sob.

You can't do this anym- "I know, honey. I've been there. I know." And with that, another sob loudly escapes your throat and a whimper follows.

"i've been there with Dad, i didn't realize we were doing that to you-i'm sorry. I see you. I really am sorry."

You shake your head as your cries fill the room, getting increasingly louder the harder Sam rubs your back. But that's not what you need. Not for them to see you-but for them to fucking stop.

"We'll stop. We'll talk. I promise."

You pull away from him, skeptical of a promise you doubt he can hold. And just as you're about to process that, Dean speaks.

"I'm sorry too." His honest tone makes you sigh. This isn't.what.i.want.

"Sam and i are sort've used to it- we lost sight of the fact that it wasn't affecting just us, but you as well. I really am sorry." Sam looks into your eyes and you slightly lean back, averting your gaze.

"It must've been really stresstful for you the past few weeks." Taken aback by his words, you pull your chin away from his hand and turn around, wiping at your tears before resting your hand against your forehead.

"we're sorry, kid."

You shrug, still mistrusftul. Mistrustful but hopeful. Because Sam and Dean are different, fights and bad things might accure but no matter how disconnected from each other they might be, they always come back to each other. And you are no different. You know them well enough.

Your silence is apprehended as anger. "Okay..We understand, we'll leave."

But it's not anger and it's most certainly not hatred. So you envelop Sam again and bury your face in his chest.

Maybe that'll be enough for him to understand?

His surprise manifests through his still figure. "Thank you, honey." That surprise quickly dissipates and he hugs you back. "It..."

"it's going to be okay, honey. We'll make it okay."

------

I hope it isn't too cringe or too cliché because like-who would say sorry in under a minute. But yeah anyway much love sorry byyiii 🍁🍁🍁❤️❤️❤️

[yllwjktscult]

Mornings- Lottie Matthews x reader

!!disclaimer- english is NOT my native language so there for sure will be grammar mistakes!!

felt really sad after latest episode esp seeing lottie so sad, so here i come with a cute silly thing to cheer the mood up (mainly my own bye bye)

!!not platonic!! (my first and maybe last not platonic post about yjs, idk we will see im testing the waters. Last time i wrote smth like that was a decade ago when camren was still a thing✋🏻😔)

WC: 1,3k

TW: none, maybe too cute ✋🏻😭

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

You woke up earlier today. Usually its Lottie who wakes you up with kisses all over your face until you open your beautiful eyes for her, but today, you woke up sooner than her and even tho you wanted to wake her up the same way she does, you wanted her to rest.

Yesterday they had a game and she was so tired after celebrating their win. Poor girl got little too wasted and damn it was hell to drag her ass into her bed, all she wanted was to cuddle and hold you. But eventually you made her change clothes and cuddle you to sleep. And damn god her grip on you was tight before she dozed off with slight snores.

With a chuckles at the memory, you throw the duvet off yourself and quietly leaving the sleeping beauty in her room.

You have been here way too many times, at Matthews place, and at this point you memorised it inch by inch, that even if you were blind you could find your way around here without an issue.

You greeted their maid who asked you if you wanted something. With a polite smile on your face you declined and told her to just enjoy the morning and rest, that you want to make pancakes yourself. After little convincing, the maid just smiled at you and let you do your thing as she went to drink her coffee with the other one.

You prepared your pancake paste and just enjoying the morning, you made sure to make even for the maids.

They liked you and you liked them, you were always so kind to them and whenever you were there, they talked with you and you got so caught up with chatting with them, that Lottie had to literally steal you away from them sometimes, either grabbing you by the crook of your shirt or you hand.

You were soo deep in your thoughts as you flipped your 6 pancake that you didnt notice that tall ass gremlin sneaking quietly behind you. She sneaked her hands over your waist and putting her head on your shoulder "You left me" she mumbled into the crook of your neck and kissing it gently. You turned around to face her, her hands still around you. Your heart melted at the sigh of her. Her fluffy hair, her still sleepy beautiful brown puppy eyes staring at you with adoration and love and the slight pout on her face.

With a chuckle you kissed her cheek and said "Morning Lottie" completely forgetting the pancake in the pan as you stared at her, pouting at you cutely "Morning my love" she answers you while a sweet smile creeps on her lips, the pout leaving her face completely after you kissed her cheek. You both just stare at eachtoher, smiling like idiots in love, because oh well you both were so deeply in love with eachtoher and both of you are idiots, a big ones.

You leaned in and pecks her lips softly. A hum of approval leaves Lotties lips as she closed her eyes savouring the sweet gesture "Im still mad you left" she says with a frowny pout. You giggled at that, oh god you were so in love with her it was disgusting.

Natalie gagged every. single. time you two were lovely dovey in front of the team. Not that she was disgusted by it, it was a reflex. Natalie usually started laughing after she gagged just like you two and the rest of the team. Tai and Van were like proud parents. Jackie and Shauna smiling wishing they had the guts to tell eachtoher how they feel and Misty was watching the both of you with adoration.

You two were so utterly in love it was nauseous.

"You gotta be more convincing for me to forgive you" said Lottie and you smiled, knowing exactly where this is going. So you leaned closer to her face, kissing her all over her beautiful face. Her cheeks, her forehead, her jaw, her temples, everywhere but her lips. She started giggling at the display of affection and love. Her pouty-sulky expression completely melting at your gesture "Oh god i love you so much" she says between giggles as she holds your cheek "i love you too" you said with a huge smile on your face.

You will never get tired of hearing those words from her nor tired of telling her. She leans in, capturing your lips in a sweet innocent kiss, or so you thought.

That giant ass gremlin whos your girlfriend had other plans. She lifted you like you weight nothing on the countertop, standing in between your legs as she kisses you slowly. Her hands that were on your waist are now resting on your hips. You gasped and giggled at that, not expecting that, but well after all, you should. You should know she would do this.

You smiled into the kiss and your hands that were on her shoulders slowly traveled in her hair and on her cheek, bringing her face closer to deepen the kiss. Her tongue slightly brushing over your lower lip. And as expected, you parted your lips a little. The kiss was slow and sweet, making your heart skip a beat as her tongue brushed over yours and you both moaned at the sensation as the kiss deepened and your stomach fills with butterflies with that one specific flip that made you feel glad she lifted you on the counter to sit, because if you were standing your knees would buckle and get all wobbly.

You both were so lost in the sensual, slow kiss full of love, both consumed by eachtoher souls that you ABSOLUTELY forgot about the now burnt pancake in the pan.

That was until you smelled it.

You opened your eyes with realisation, putting your hands from where they were into Lotties chest, pushing her slightly away. She whined at the loss of contact.

You smacked her shoulder lightly as you jumped from the counter top, grabbing the pan and flipping now the burn as hell pancake into a plate "You are forbidden in the kitchen next time im cooking, you are distracting me way too much" you shot her a glare with a pout. What a terrible day, the perfect pancake ruined because your girlfriend was sulky that you left her to sleep.

Lottie giggled and hugged you once again from behind as you held the pan "Im not sorry at all" she kissed your cheek and then nuzzled her head in your neck, savouring your scent that brings so much comfort to her and the one she loved so much (she would never admit it to you, but she bought the same perfume you use and sprays it on her clothes when you two cant be together, or when she misses you, or when shes just feeling soft.. so basically almost all the time).

"I know you are not" you say playfully and hands her a plate with few pancakes and hands it to her "now eat it snd let me finish it"

With a chuckle she kissed your cheek again and grabs it from you. Sitting on a chair nesr a table and eating it, all while she stares at you, working in a kitchen. Making pancakes looking so carefree and so domesticated.

Lottie heart jumped in her chest, the thought of waking everyday with you by her side, making food in a kitchen and living together making her so happy. And she cant wait for more mornings like that in a future. With you. In your own house you both live in, happy and together.

After that you told the maids that you are sorry for the burn smell and how Lottie distracted you, they laughed at that, knowing how Lottie is.

They appreciated you made some for them. Their hearts swelling at the thought you see them as humans too and not just maids, workers or as a property.

You and Lottie told them your goodbyes as Lottie, once again, had to drag your ass with her. Wanting you all for herself.

You spend the whole day cuddling in her bed, watching silly movies. Kissing and talking.

It was perfect saturday for both of you.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

[holyhadesimweird]

would you fall in love with me again?

masterlist

pairing : kisuke urahara x reader

summary : based on "would you fall in love with me again" from the EPIC musical. unknowingly to kisuke, you were held captive by the soul society after his banishment and you finally get reunited when ichigo and the others return after saving rukia.

notes : i just started watching bleach so if things are wrong or inaccurate, IM SO SORRY. ALSO i wrote this very quickly without reviewing so enjoy my word vomit of an idea :)

༶┈⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇┈⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇┈୨♡୧┈⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇┈⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇┈༶

kisuke had just sent ichigo and his friends to the soul society in order to save their friend, rukia. as he stood in front of the door where the teens had just walked through, he thought back to his life in the soul society.

he missed... he missed you. he missed the life you two had. he wasn't sure where you were or what happened to you after he was banished. he was banned from seeing you before he left the soul society, and though he did try to leave a message for you, he was sure they didn't deliver it to you.

he only hoped that that you were okay. his mind always wandered and he tried to shake the thoughts from his head.

"are you thinking about her?" kisuke heard tessai ask.

"yeah... i can't help it." kisuke replied. "i miss her, it's been a century and all i want is to hold her again. but i won't be able to and i don't know anything about her anymore. where she is, if she's safe... if she's dead."

"i miss her too kisuke. i think that if the kids run into her, she'll help save rukia and maybe she'll come to us with them." tessai reassured, watching as kisuke turned and started to walk away.

"i think so too. she's too kind to not want to help them. i just miss my wife." kisuke said quietly.

༶┈⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇┈⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇┈୨♡୧┈⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇┈⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇┈༶

kisuke was walking next to the river when he got a message from tessai saying that the kids were successful in saving rukia and made it back safely. tessai also said that he should come home as soon as possible as there's an emergency he needs help with, prompting kisuke to speed home.

when the shop was in sight, kisuke saw tessai standing next to the door, waiting for him.

"tessai! what's wrong? what's the emergency you need help with? is there something wrong with the kids?" kisuke said, running up to the man.

"it's better if you just come see for yourself." tessai said, opening the door to the shop for kisuke.

"...okay? i'm starting to get worried..." kisuke trailed off as he started towards the door.

as he entered the shop, he saw a silhouette, one that he hasn't seen in many years. he almost thought he was dreaming until you turned towards him and he could see your face.

"is it you? is it really you standing there, or am i dreaming once more?" you said, approaching him. "you look different, your eyes look tired, your frame is lighter, your smile torn. is it really you my love?"

"i am not the man you fell in love with, i am not the man you once adored. i am not your kind and gentle husband, and i am not the love you knew before." he said softly, slowly approaching you. "so tell me, would you fall in love with me again, if you knew all i've done? the things i can't undo. i don't know where you've been or what happened in my banishment, but i'm sure that you've been waiting."

"i will fall in love with you over and over again. i don't care how, where or when. no matter how long it's been, you're mine! don't tell you're not the same person, you're always my husband and i've been waiting for you!"

you two were now so close to each other your noses were practically touching.

"how long has it been?" you asked.

"a century." kisuke answered. "far too long."

"i've been in captivity and observed for that long?" you whispered.

"...you've been what?" kisuke asked, his face dropping.

"we can talk about that later. i think we have an audience." you laughed, peaking behind kisuke to see all the teens.

"did you two just basically argue about still loving each other?" ichigo asked, his face holding confusion.

"you'll understand when you're older ichigo. now excuse us, we have some catching up to do." kisuke started pulling you to his room.

"we might wanna leave before our ears are scarred." chad said, hoping to go home before anything was heard.

"a century apart is a long time, their reunion was so romantic." orihime sighed as they all left the shop.

[strangelysamantha]

wasted ☆

jj maybank x fem!reader.

warnings: infidelity, swearing, alcohol.

words: 1,093.

summary: “you were supposed to be my soulmate, but you threw it all away so you could screw some girl?” in which jj makes a grave mistake cheating on you.

request? no.

a/n: i have so many good ideas deep in my drafts. im about to blow up your feed mwahahahha.

my masterlist

——————————————————————————

you desperately needed air, the smell of liquor, cigarettes, and blaring music completely overwhelmed your senses, you couldn't find jj which didn't help at all. all you wanted to do was settle into bed, but instead you were trapped at a house party. you were getting tired of the partying, every time the night was close to coming to an end, jj would find something to get worked up about. he would be screaming at you about drama that had sparked. it was exhausting that jj always had a problem, whether it was because you had accepted a drink from a guy, or was dancing to close to someone you didn't even care about. you tried multiple doors, trying to find a quiet place, however all of them were locked.

of course, the one that wasn't locked was occupied. you swing the door open, seeing two bodies entangled together, sweaty and moaning. you were going to shut it when you noticed it was jj in bed. his blonde hair messy as small groans fell from his mouth. "what the actual fuck jj?" you yelled, holding back your tears. as if the night couldn't have gotten any worse, of course jj had found a dumb tourist to feed his needs. before the party, you mentioned to jj that you weren't feeling it, he was upset by this. he made it a big issue before ultimately storming off. you weren't going to go; you told him as much. but seeing how angry he got; you felt obligated to make an appearance.

now regretting even leaving the house, you watch jj scramble to put his clothes back on. the entire show being sickening to see. you decided you didn't even want to hear his excuses. maybe he got too drunk, maybe he wanted revenge, maybe he was just done. you rush downstairs, running into kiara. she apologizes before realizing its you. "hey is everything okay?" you laugh, the whole situation seeming so unreal its funny. "just walked in on jj plowing a tourist. i'm getting out of here." her mouth flies open, "what?" she follows after you, worried to leave you alone. she hops into your car, and the two of you drive to her house, assuming jj would go to yours to try and salvage the relationship.

in kiaras room you lay down on her bed, your body becoming numb. "i mean. i got with jj maybank. did i really think i'd be that special?" you sigh. kiara frowns at your words. "it's not your fault. that is so unfair to you, he knows better than that." you glance down at your phone, seeing a bunch of missed calls and texts from him. "im just mad because i know i'll lose all my friends too." kiara rubs your arm, "you still have me." you smile softly, "thank you, i don't know what i'd be doing without you." your comment was cut off by kiaras phone. "it's jj, should i answer?" you shrug, "might as well. put it on speaker." she pressed accept, immediately putting jj on speaker. "i fucked up kie, i don't know what to do." she wanted to act oblivious to see how jj would explain the situation. "what happened jj?" he mentions you, "we had a big fight before the party. i drowned my frustration with booze. i met a tourist and it was so easy. i let my guard down." kiaras face forms with disgust by his words. she doesn't respond, letting him continue. "she walked in on me fucking someone else. she'll hate me. she'll want nothing to do with me kie, what do i do?" kiara hums, "well you cheated jj." her words stung him, "there is nothing you can do. if she's done with you after this, you'll just have to accept it."

"i have to see her. do you know where she went?" kiara sighs, "no, i haven't seen her. i'm back at mine now, about to go to bed." jj groans, "alright, thanks." he immediately hangs up and kiara scoffs. "please tell me you don't plan on getting back with him." you shake your head. "i can't." she nods understandingly. "besides the fact he literally cheated; all we do is fight anyway. it's too exhausting."

"well i'm here for you, anything you need." you smile, thankful you'd still have a friend after this. "i'm going to head back home, if i run into him i'm going to end it. otherwise i'm going to bed." kiara ushers a goodnight softly, "make it home safe. and keep me updated."

you gently shut her door, heading downstairs. you get into your car, starting it up and driving back home. jj calls you again on your drive home, you reluctantly answer. you stay silent. "can we please talk?" he questions. "im just now on my way home. im too tired jj." he sighs, "im already at your house." you mouth forms into a line, annoyance running through your veins. "alright." you hang up, pulling into your driveway, you noticed him sitting at the end of the driveway. you hop out of your car walking up to him.

he quickly stands up. "look i'm so sorry. i can't even put into words how bad i feel." you scoff, "i don't really care anymore jj." he takes a deep breath, "please it was a huge mistake." you look over, "that's the problem jj. we had a fight, and you lashed out. i don't want to worry about what you'll do if i upset you. if you'll retaliate by sleeping with someone else, or if you'll fight someone, or whatever you'll do just because were on the rocks." he shakes his head, "it won't be like that, i don't want that to be our relationship-" you are quick to cut him off, "there is no more relationship jj." his heart sinks, "no please, we can work this out." you sigh, tears dropping from your eyes. "you were supposed to be my soulmate, but you threw it all away so you could screw some girl?" he was extremely apologetic, "i was drunk, and angry, and i wasn't thinking. i didn't want to hurt you. i regret it so bad. im really sorry." you quickly wipe your tears, "all i see when i look at you is seeing you in bed with that stranger. and that makes me sick. i can't look at you the same jj. we are done." before he can respond you turn away, walking into your house, locking the door behind you.

[velarisdusk]

On Strategic Withdrawal

Day 5: Heirs / High Lords & Ladies @sjmxreaderweek summary: When the fire between you and Eris starts to dim under the weight of his responsibilities, your once-shared spaces become haunted by the memories of what they used to be. word count: 1.4k content: [ uhhh unhappy marriage/mating i guess? ] author's note: sorry abt this one y'all it is Not A Happy One..... also if Prythian has toilets, im giving them showers, fuck a bath

The study is quiet, save for the crackle of dying firelight and the soft shuffle of parchment beneath your fingers. Ink stains the side of your hand. A half-drunk glass of wine sits by your elbow, long since gone warm. The scent of it—dark fruit and spice—lingers in the air, almost sweet enough to mask the sharper smell of smoke and old paper.

You’re surrounded by his world: maps curled at the edges from too many readings, a stack of reports marked in his tidy, clipped hand, red seals broken and scattered like torn petals. And in the center of it all—an open book. On Strategic Withdrawal.

The irony lands sharp, too perfect to be mere coincidence. You don’t let yourself linger on it, not now. A bitter breath escapes you instead. A laugh might have followed, if there weren’t something caught behind your ribs.

Your thumb brushes the page. The margins are filled with his annotations—precise, pragmatic. This is how he makes sense of the world: in movements and margins, in advances measured in miles and the space between bodies.

This room used to be yours, too. Once. Long evenings curled together in the firelight, arguing over politics and battle plans, your fingers stained with ink while his trailed absentminded patterns on your knee. It used to hum with warmth, with presence.

Now it’s just maps. And books. And your quiet.

The silence has grown teeth. And you have stopped naming the things it eats.

The scent of him still lingers in this room, beneath the ash and vellum—cypress and smoke, the ghost of something warm. It clings to the spines of books he hasn’t touched in weeks. It curls in the folds of the armchair he used to favor. You breathe it in, and suddenly—

The firelight shifts. Warmer now, softer. Not the flicker of coals but the living glow of earlier hours.

He had come in late.

Your hair was half-twisted off your shoulder, the brush still in your hand as you turned to look at him. The bedroom was dim—curtains drawn, candlelight flickering low—and the air carried the hush of things not said. You remember the exact sound of his sigh, the way he leaned against the doorframe like the weight of the day had dragged him there.

“I’m sorry I missed dinner,” he murmured, voice rough with exhaustion. He crossed the room and pressed a kiss to your temple, the way he always used to.

You smiled. Or something close to it. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t. But this was the new rhythm: the missed meals, the half-kept promises, the silence neither of you could seem to fill anymore. 

His father had been working him to the bone—demanding more hours, more reports, more readiness for a war that hadn’t yet come but was always on the horizon. Eris hadn’t said it outright, but you could see in the slump of his shoulders, the way his voice frayed by the end of the day. 

You didn’t fight about it. Not anymore.

You set the brush down.

“Do you still feel it?” you asked, your voice soft but not uncertain. The thing that once sang so loudly you couldn’t sleep. The thing that now lay quiet, distant.

He paused—then reached inward, tugged on the thread between you like drawing breath. “Yes. Of course.”

You looked at him, studied the tired lines of his face, the way his eyes didn’t quite meet yours.

“Then why does it feel so quiet?”

He didn’t have an answer. Or maybe he did, and didn’t want to give it voice.

A beat passed. Then another.

“I’ll shower,” he said.

You nodded, watching him move through the motions. Shedding a tailored jacket, unfastening his cuffs, setting aside his weapons. A ritual you used to share. Now he did it alone and in silence, and you stayed seated at your vanity, watching the hollow he’d left behind.

When the water began to run, you rose.

The bed was already turned down, sheets cool and waiting. You slid beneath them without thought, the motions familiar, rehearsed. This bed had been yours long before it became lonely. It had known your laughter, your arguments, your tangled limbs in the hush between midnight and morning. It had known the breathless silence of want, of need, of holding him like a secret and being held like one in return.

You’d pressed your cheek to this same pillow while he read beside you, while he dozed after long days, while his hands traced lazy paths across your bare skin. You had spoken vows into this mattress, gasped prayers into it. You had made a life in these sheets, one thread at a time.

Now, you folded your hands over your stomach and stared at the ceiling.

There were memories in every beam of it. Eris’s laughter as he hovered above you, golden in the firelight. His hand braced beside your head. The burn of him between your thighs. The way he used to kiss your shoulder afterward, every single time.

You turned your head and looked at the door.

The ache started low in your chest and crawled outward, curling through your ribs. Not grief. Not yet. But something with the same teeth.

The door opened.

He stepped out, towel around his waist, hair damp. You heard the soft rustle of cloth, the quiet motions of him dressing for bed. He finally crossed the room with a familiar tension between his shoulders. 

He slipped beneath the blankets beside you. Not quite facing you. Not quite not.

You waited. Then, softly, as if speaking around a bruise—

“Do you ever miss us?”

His body stilled. A breath, long and measured. “I do,” he said. “I do. I just… I need to get through this campaign. Once it’s done, I’ll—”

Try harder. Make more time. Come back to you.

He said the rest, but you weren’t listening anymore. You already knew.

You nodded in the dark.

He reached for your hand and kissed your knuckles. A quiet gesture. One he thought might be enough.

He didn’t see the way your mouth trembled. The way your throat worked around the sob you swallowed whole.

He drifted first. You knew he would.

You curled into him, like always. Let yourself be the small spoon. Let your tears slip into the space between your cheek and his arm.

When he stirred at the sound of your breath hitching, you lied. Said it was a dream, a memory, something silly—you can’t even remember which.

He murmured something low and soothing. Pulled you closer in his sleep.

You turned in his arms. Just enough to see him. Just enough to touch his face and memorize the shape of it, the quiet peace he wore when the world forgot to demand everything from him.

You didn’t say goodbye.

But you thought it, as your thumb traced the curve of his jaw.

You thought it hard enough to feel like the truth.

And then, at some point, the truth answered.

Dawn came gently, threading gold through the curtains. The room was quiet but for the rustle of blankets as he shifted beside you, chasing your warmth. One arm swept across the bed.

Cold sheets.

Eris blinked awake slowly, eyes still heavy with sleep. Sat up, rubbed a hand over his face. She’s just—already up. In the bath, on the terrace. Somewhere.

He moved through the motions in a fog. Showering, brushing his teeth, running a hand through his damp hair. Dressing for the day, rolling his shoulders, tugging on his tunic. Yawning through the last clinging threads of sleep. The world outside your room stirred to life—staff beginning their tasks, a low bell in the distance.

It wasn’t until he stepped into his study, reaching for the folder he’d left beside the hearth, that something shifted.

The morning light spilled in golden and soft, striking the desk just so.

There, where his papers should have been—

A book.

And atop it, her wedding ring—a tiger’s eye set in silver.

Simple. Steady. It caught the sunlight like a quiet flame.

He didn’t move for a long time. Just stood there, staring. Like if he looked long enough, it might rearrange itself into something else. Something he could undo.

But it didn’t.

And she didn’t.

On Strategic Withdrawal.

A title he’d once scoffed at for being too cautious.

He understood now. 

[smoshyourheadin]

Maybe u could do a Spencer besties to lovers? Like they've known each other a long time yk

Thankssss no pressure if ur busy ofc <3

It’s Always Been You

cw: reader has a boyf who she breaks up w bc he’s an alchaholic!! don’t read if you aren’t comfortable, i’ll catch you another time ml 💛

a/n: EEK IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON 🫶🫶💛💛 also im taking this as smosh spence not cm spence so feel free to re-request if you’d like <33 ps, ive written that he listens to pink floyd here so thats who syd barrett is if you don’t know :))

requests r open!!

///

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

florida, 2002

you and spencer were scurrying around in the freshly mown grass of his backyard, playing tag.

“you didn’t get me, you cheated!” you exclaim, ducking as he reaches out to get you again, tumbling to the floor.

“did too!” spencer retorts, his grazed knees dropping to the floor so he can lean over you. he meets your eyes, pulls a tongue, and hoists himself back up to run to his tyre swing.

all 11 years you’d known, you’d known them with spencer. your moms had been great friends since way before you were born, being in the same book club. or was it an art night? you didn’t exactly know, but you did know that because your moms were best friends, so were you and spencer.

as you sprung back up to your feet, your moms watched your antics through the kitchen window.

“whoever can swing the other the highest gets to have the last red popsicle!” he yelled as you ran over

“oh you’re so on!”

your hands gripped the tyre and you pushed like your life depended on it.

“y’know,” your mom said “one day, they’re going to end up together.”

his mom looked over at yours and smiled,

“i’d be surprised if they didnt honestly.”

los angeles, 2024

you walk through the door of your apartment, and you kick the door closed behind you. your bag slides off your shoulder, and you throw your keys onto the dresser next to the door. you only manage a long groan before flopping onto the couch.

“heya, charlie!” you scrunch your face up as you feel your dog’s cold, wet nose press against your cheek, as he gently wags his tail

“i missed you too boy, work was so tiring today.” you work at smosh with spencer, and have done for the past seven years after you left your job at another channel to join him. it was basically the best decision you’d ever made, every day filled with laughs; practically just a 24/7 hangout. you work with spencer on smosh games, but rarely ever go on camera, even if spencer’s there. you enjoy it anyway though.

you sit up and scratch behind his ears. he wiggles his body contently at your fondness. and then your stomach growls. it made sense, it was currently 6:43pm, and you last ate at noon, so you get up and drag yourself to make some mac n cheese.

as the pasta boils your phone starts ringing.

it’s james.

rubbing your hands over your face, you answer the dreaded call from your boyfriend james.

“heyyy~ sweetheart, y’doin okay? you were hic bein’ a bit of a bitch today, didnt answer my calls, what, you hate me or sumn?” he rambles, most of his words just slurring off.

“james, are you drinking again?” your voice is agitated, hearing the chattering and the low bass of a bar in the background.

you know he has a problem, and you’ve tried to get him to stop so many times. but you just can’t. he just won’t take your help.

“wha- i mean- well- no- but um- well y’r just gonna be mad at me like y’allways are” he stammers, not wanting to tell you the truth.

“no, i’m done with this. you say all this to me when you’re drunk, and then act like everything is fine! i’m sick of it! you spend so much time at the bar, and its the only place we ever go on dates, and i just end up babysitting you! so yeah i am mad! but for the last time! fuck you james.”

you hang up.

you start to tear up, the knot in your chest tight as your emotions come rushing to you, face heating up as tears begin to fall. the hissing of something behind you snaps you out of it.

“shit!” you rush over to to your stove, where the water from your pasta spills over the sides, the flames licking at the bottom of the pan.you take it off the heat and turn it off. it looks done anyway. you add some butter, and, of course, cheese. stirring gently, you sob.

james was so nice to you, always showering you with gifts and praise and love. but it was all for nothing. he just didn’t love you like he loved drinking in the end.

pouring the mac n cheese into a bowl, you call spencer.

“hey lemon! how’s my favourite person this fine evening?” you smile at the nickname.

florida, 2007

“spencer, you’re a boy. why are you so complicated? i mean, its just annoying!” you walk into his bedroom after his mom let you in, clearly pissed off. being 16 isn’t fun, especially when boys you like are rude to you.

“what did he do?” spencer doesn’t look up from his computer, just slightly turn his head.

“he said that i must eat lemons because of how bitter i am. i mean come on!” you lie on his bed and watch him play runescape.

“lemon… hmph” he just smiles and continues whatever he was doing on his game.

“what? nothing to say? ugh! you suuuuuck!”

los angeles, 2024

“yeah, i mean, no. i broke up with james.” you sniffle, and eat a forkfull of your food, elbows resting on the cold marble of the kitchen island.

“i mean- um- yeah thats horrible…” he says

“you’re allowed to celebrate, i know you hated him. and so did everyone. but still. im fragile right now!” you giggle through your gentle tears

“well, i mean, honestly? glad he’s gone. he sucked dude. not sure why you didn’t do it sooner. well, one positive to come of this, your pillows won’t stink of beer next time i nap at yours!” he replies, clearly happy for you.

“yeah,” you chuckle at the memory of spencer falling asleep on your bed, then completing his hair smelt like budweiser “that is true.”

“all seriousness though, are you okay?” his voice is genuine this time, filled with concern.

“no, not really. it’s just… different i guess. but, not much has changed y’know? like, it already felt like he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore…” you begin to ramble for at least 20 minutes, only to be met with the occasional ‘mhmn’ and ‘yeah’ from spencer. mid sentence, there’s a knock at your door.

“oh one sec, someone’s here.” you get up from your table and swing the door open to see a very sympathetic looking spencer, two target bags in his hands.

your jaw is on the floor. you were just crying to him over the phone, and he’d stayed whilst going out to get what you can only assume is things like sour patch kids and vanilla ice cream, which you could see at the top of the bag. your favourites.

“girls night?” he smirked and raised the bags at his sides.

all you can do is smile ear to ear, and wrap him in a tight hug. he leaned into you, basking in your sweet citrusy perfume.

“you’re my favourite, spencie.” you say into his shoulder.

as you both walk inside, charlie comes bounding over to spencer, his favourite person.

“who’s a good boy! charlie is!” spencer was now crouchedby your kitchen island, fussing over your dog as you walked to put on something more comfortable. you slid on some track pants and an old atari hoodie. walking back into your kitchen, spencer has unpacked the bags, and is creating his favourite conconction, The Agnew Sundae. basically the most sickeningly sweet ice cream ever. his dad made it for you both in the summer, and it consisted of:

vanilla ice cream

chocolate syrup

caramel sauce

whipped cream

sprinkles

mini marshmallows

chocolate chips

m&ms

and some crushed oreos to finish.

god, you know you’re going to regret this later, but boy was it a good way to cheer you up.

also strewn on the counter was his switch and copy of animal crossing, a few of his dvd’s for you to watch, and his mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

“spencer, how on earth did you get these? your mom lives across the country!” you hold up the baggie, and raise an eyebrow.

he looks up from his ice cream assembly station, and smirks.

“a magician never- ow!”

you cut him off by lightly jabbing his arm

“okay okay, she visited not to long ago - when she took you to the mall? and she gave me these to freeze and keep for an important event. i think she’d agree this is important.” you cant help but smile at his remark. you missed you moms.

“i’ll have to ring her later to thank her.” you say.

the night goes on, and you and spencer sit on the couch under a blanket watching barbie princess charm school. because what else are you going to watch?

as the movie goes on, and the effects of the agnew sundae kick in; you were dozing off on his shoulder. towards the end of the movie, so does he. he drifts off, comforted by your soft hair occasionally brushing against his face.

you stir awake, the sun beaming into your eyes through your semi-open blinds, and you’re hit by a wave of memory. everything that happened last night comes flooding back.

james’ call.

spencer’s call.

spencer showing up for you.

at the latter, you smile slightly. you prop yourself up on the sofa, and notice the absence of spencer’s warmth by you. frowning slightly, you walk into the kitchen.

“morning sleepyhead” his sweet voice rings through the room

“hey. i thought you’d’ve gone home”

“no, im not that mean! who do you take me for?” he retorts, his attention turning back to the pancakes on the stove.

“pancakes? what time is it?” you come up behind him, putting your chin on his shoulder.

“yeah, and it’s about 10:30.” he leant his head on yours, flipping one. you had to admit, they look pretty good.

“10:30!?” you lift you head in surprise, looking at your phone “shouldn’t we be in work?”

“nope, i called us in sick. said my mom was having surgery. which she is, but i made it sound dramatic so we could stay off.” he looks at you, and smiles slightly.

“well, send her my love! i think i’ll go get dressed now.” he hummed, and you left the room.

opening your closet, you pick out a yellow baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. you pull on some fluffy socks, and slip on a zip up hoodie. walking back out into the living room, spencer walks in with two plates piled high with pancakes, drenched in syrup and strawberries

“so,” you say, a fork full of pancakes in your mouth. “whats the plan for today?”

he looks over at you, and shrugs slightly. “not sure, we could go to the book store you like?”

“ah, you know the way to a girl’s heart“ you put a hand over your chest and giggle a bit.

a few hours later, you walk into the store, door creaking just a bit as a small brass bell chimes overhead. the air is filled with a comforting mix of old paper, leather bindings, and a hint of freshly brewed coffee from the corner cafe that you and spencer like to get tea from. you breathe it in deeply, a sense of calm washing over you. as you walk over the creaky wooden floorboards beneath you, soft warm light filters down from antique lamps, and cast a gentle glow over the rows of books. you ghost your fingertips over the cloth spines while the quiet murmur of whispered conversations and the occasional rustling of pages create a soothing background noise, almost like a lullaby. through spencer’s airpods, syd barrett serenades you both, and his voice blends seamlessly with the ambiance of the store.

“anything good today lemon?” spencer says as he shimmies up next to you in the aisle of towering book shelves, his voice like honey rolling off his tongue. his hair was unruly as always, but he looked so pretty in this light. his face was littered with freckles that you wish you could kiss. he’s smiling at you, and it snaps you back to reality, and reminds you of the fact you’re staring at him

“uh, yeah, i think i’ll get this one” you smile back, holding up a copy of memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden

“cool, shayne likes that one i think. but he likes every book so…” he smiles at his own remark “um, you want me to grab our normal seats in the cafe while you pay for that?”

“yes, please!” you reply eagerly, smiling as he walked off.

you walk up to the cashier, an older lady who always gives you a bookmark.

“thank you m’darlin’, have a lovely day!”

“you too mrs bryson!” you reply, heading over to spencer who’s sat in some plush leather armchairs. as you sit in comfortable silence with him, time seems to slow down, and for a moment, it's just you, spencer, the books, and the comforting atmosphere of this charming bookstore.

“i got you your sweet tea.” he says, handing you a plastic cup filled with your favourite tea.

he remembered.

fuck.

you were in love with spencer agnew, and it took you him handing you your favourite tea to realise it.

“thanks spence.” you say, still grasping the feelings in your chest.

while you read you book and drink your tea, you feel your attention drifting to him. you can't help but glance up from the pages every now and then, watching him as he sits across from you, his focus on his own book. his fingers absently tracing the rim of his coffee mug, his brow furrowing as he reads. the way the sunlight filters through the small window, casting a warm glow across his hair, highlighting the subtle streaks of lighter brown among his dark curls. you find yourself smiling at the sight of him, wondering when these small, mundane moments began to mean so much to you. the bookstore is quiet, aside for the murmur of others reading or talking in hushed tones. yet, with spencer sitting just a few feet away, the world feels like it's faded to the background. it's just you and him, sharing this space, this moment. you watch the way his lips move slightly as he reads, how he occasionally tilts his head in concentration, and the way his eyes light up when he finds something particularly interesting. as he looks up and catches you watching him, you feel a rush of warmth spreading through your chest. he smiles at you, a slow, easy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. he raises an eyebrow, and you quickly look back down at your book, feeling your cheeks flush. but you can't help it; your gaze finds its way back to him, like he's the most interesting story in the room. he seems to notice the shift in the air between you. he closes his book and leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“everything okay?” he asks, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your heart is racing. “just... glad to be here with you.”

he nods, his smile growing a bit wider. “me too.”

as he settles back into his chair, you realize that this simple exchange has changed something. the air feels lighter, the connection between you stronger. you may have come here to read and relax, but now, sitting across from spencer, you know you've found something else entirely - something you never want to let go of.

as you leave the store, you’re panicking slightly as you realise you don’t know what to do. so instead you make up an excuse.

“i forgot my keys ," you blurt out, looking back at the bookstore. it's a thin excuse, but spencer doesn't seem to notice. he simply nods, a hint of concern in his eyes.

"do you want me to wait for you?" he asks, already reaching for his phone to check the time.

"no, it's fine," you reply quickly. "you can go ahead. i’ll just be a minute."

spencer seems reluctant to leave, but he nods, offering a warm smile before stepping out onto the street. you watch him walk away, his figure blending into the crowd as he heads toward the main crossing. your heart sinks a little as he disappears from view, and you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse.

the bookstore feels different now. the warm glow and soft murmurs are still there, but without spencer, it's like the color has faded a bit. you stand by the door, uncertain of what to do next. you could go back outside, catch up with him, and just say it. tell him how you feel. but the words seem stuck in your throat, and the thought of laying your feelings bare feels like too much, too soon.

you step back inside, pretending to look for something you might have left behind. the stacks of books seem to stretch endlessly in front of you, a maze of comforting distractions. you wander through the aisles, hoping to calm your racing thoughts, but all you can think about is spencer - his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the warmth of his voice.

eventually, you find a quiet corner and sit down, closing your eyes for a moment. you know you have to do something. you can't just let him walk away without knowing how much he means to you. but the fear of rejection, of changing everything, feels overwhelming.

you realize you need time to sort through your feelings, to figure out the best way to approach this. with a heavy heart, you decide to make your way home, hoping the familiar surroundings will bring clarity. as you step out onto the street, the cool breeze brushes against your skin, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside you.

on the journey home, you replay the moments with spencer in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of how much he means to you. you know you can't keep hiding your feelings, but you also know you need to approach this with caution. as you unlock the door to your apartment, you make a silent promise to yourself—to take the time you need, to listen to your heart, and to find the courage to follow where it leads, even if it means risking everything for him.

when you get home, spencer tries calling you as he paces around his bedroom, his phone pressed against his ear. the ringing continues, but there's no answer. he frowns, feeling an uneasy twist in his stomach. maybe you're still in the bookstore. maybe your phone is on silent, or maybe you're just busy. he tells himself there's a reasonable explanation, but the doubt lingers.

as he walks to his kitchen, he dials again. this time, the call goes straight to voicemail. his instincts tell him something isn't right. the keys excuse felt odd, and your hurried departure only amplifies his worry. he takes a moment to think, then leaves his apartment, jumps in his car, starts the engine, and drives toward your apartment.

the streets pass in a blur as he navigates through the evening traffic, his mind racing with possibilities. he finds a parking spot near your building and heads to your door. the hallway is quiet, save for the distant sound of a tv from a neighbouring apartment. he takes a deep breath and knocks.

nothing.

he knocks again, this time a little louder. the knot in his stomach tightens. what if something's wrong? what if he's too late? he knocks a third time, and this time, he hears a faint rustling from inside. the door opens slowly, and there you are, standing in the doorway with a look of surprise and confusion.

"spence?" you say, blinking at him as if he's the last person you expected to see.

"i - i was worried," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "you didn't answer your phone, and i - i didn't know if you were okay."

you tilt your head, trying to process why he's here. his eyes search yours, and you can tell he's anxious, almost desperate to explain himself. "i'm fine," you say, "just had some stuff to think about."

he nods, but you can see he's not entirely convinced. there's something else, something deeper. he takes a step back, as if he's about to leave, but then he hesitates. "i - i have to tell you something," he blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. "i like you. like a lot. like i think i love you? and i know it might be weird, and i don't want to mess things up, but I just had to say it - because i couldn't keep it to myself anymore.”

he looks at you, his eyes full of emotions you can't quite decipher yet. you nod, urging him to continue, even though your own heart is racing. there's something in his gaze that makes you realize this isn't just any confession - this is something that's been building for a long time.

"i've liked you since we were kids," he says, almost breathlessly. "i mean, you were always the coolest person I knew. you didn't care what anyone else thought. you were smart and funny and just... so genuinely kind. i remember when we used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood, and you'd always be the first one to try something new. like, remember when you climbed that huge tree in mr lawson's yard just because you wanted to see the view from the top? i thought you were so brave."

he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he reminisces. "and then, when we got older, you were always there for me. when my parents split up, and i felt like everything was falling apart, you were the one who came over with a pizza and just listened. you didn't try to fix it; you just let me talk. that's something i've always loved about you. you're a great listener, and you care about people. like, really care."

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes locking with yours. "it's not just that, though. It's the little things, too. the way you laugh at the dumbest of angela’s jokes, the way you get excited about your favorite books, and how you always know the right thing to say when I'm feeling down. you make everything feel... lighter, you know? like, even when things are tough, you find a way to make it better."

spencer pauses, his voice growing more earnest. "so yeah, i've um, been holding onto this for a while, and i just, couldn't keep pretending that i didn't feel this way. i like you - a lot. and i don't know if you feel the same way, but i just couldn't not tell you anymore."

he takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders indicating that he's prepared to leave if needed. "i don't want to make things weird between us. if you don't feel the same, that's okay. i just had to say it, because you're the best thing in my life, and i can't keep acting like you aren't."

his confession takes you by surprise, but as he speaks, you feel a surge of warmth in your chest. the words you were struggling to say are suddenly so clear, so obvious. you watch as he starts to turn away, his shoulders slumping in resignation. before he can take another step, you grab his arm and pull him back, your lips pressing against his in a gentle, yet desperate kiss.

he freezes for a moment, stunned by your sudden action, then his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. when you finally break the kiss, you look into his eyes, and there's no doubt, no hesitation.

"it's always been you," you whisper, your voice soft but sure. "you're my person, spencer."

he hugs you tightly, his grip firm and comforting, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. it's a perfect moment, one that feels like the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

and as you stand there in each other's embrace, you know that everything's going to be okay, because you have each other. and that's all that matters.

[lavandulawrites]

(Not sure if this was asked before, hope u dont mind) im a bit tired of the 'always weak Reader'. Like, why is the reader always so weak? The other characters always more strong- its not fair at all. So i wanted to ask, would u love the tought of the Reader finally being more stronger then characters? (Yandere's, of course.) for once, Reader is hard to catch, better at everything whether attacking running and etc, maybe even playfull like bratty but not rotten and actually kind to others- chaotic personality i guess.. Maybe it can be somehow inspiration to you. I hope u have a good day :3 (and please dont mind my bad english)

This is a very good question, anon.

I do get why many authors make the ‘reader’ weak. There may be serval reasons as to why such as: it may make writing ‘reader’ easier as they don’t have to have a strong personality (after all docile characters don’t necessarily need too much thoughts to them to make it work), if we are talking about a yandere context it may make the yandere seem more intimidating, it may be a preference by the author. After all we all have our own preferences. It would be extremely boring if everyone agreed on anything. I personally don’t mind weak ‘readers’ at all.

I personally hate the overly bratty/ bitchy/ rude ‘readers’ and I find them annoying (I’m thinking of the stereotypes, like Wattpad and etc.). I think it’s extremely frustrating how a female character almost always has to be physically strong and a ‘badass’ in order to be considered a ‘strong/ powerful woman’. I think that a female character is 100% able to be considered strong without being a warrior with non-feminine qualities. Being a strong female lead is not about how many men she can kill or how much she bench presses, it’s about being true to herself and being kind without letting others step over her (not saying that women can’t be physically strong obviously). She needs to stand her ground and not let anyone ruin her dreams hand her belief in her self.

I think the new Snow White movie is a good example. They made her be a strong leader who doesn’t need a romantic relationship. Which is in itself nothing wrong (I love a strong leader), but it’s too contradicting to the original story. Yes, Snow White was no fighter, but she was kind and helped everyone around her. She didn’t let the dwarfs boss her around, but instead lived in harmony with them. Is she the best example for a strong female lead, no, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t a strong female character.

My point is that I’m so incredibly sick and tired of seeing these ‘strong female leads’ that are only considered strong if they act ‘manly’ or is a fighter. Katniss on the other hand is a strong woman, but it’s not purely for her fighting abilities. It’s her morality and mental strength that makes her powerful. (I really do love Katniss and I think she is definitely one of the best female leads).

Little Women is also another great example. The sisters are all so different, but at the same time extremely strong in their own accepts.

And remember a weak character doesn’t mean she can’t be strong. That is a misconception that irritates me. Take Yui from Diabolik Lovers. Many people call her weak, but I disagree. In the games her personality really shines through and it’s impossible to say that she isn’t a strong female lead.

So will I make ‘reader’ or [Name] a strong female lead? The answer is yes, but not necessarily the way you might think. There are many ways to make a character strong that isn’t just purely physical strength and that’s extremely important to remember. Robin is a strong female character and it isn’t because of her physical strength.

Will [Name] be a feminist? Absolutely. I would never make a female character that isn’t a feminist.

Anyways, I hope I answered your questions anon and I hope you have a great day as well!❤️

If anyone has any other questions about Astralis Desires, please let me know! I will be happy to answer them❤️

[mindless-existence1]

Bakugos Birthday!

Authors Note: Today is his birthday! Glorious kings birthday! So I wrote a fluff fic but if yall want i can make a smut version.

Summery: You plan a nice dinner and cuddle/movie night with your boyfriend instead of a party like you know he would hate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The entire day you had been waiting for your boyfriend to get home from pro-hero work. That morning, like most mornings, you were too tired to give him any birthday wishes.

You had already predicted he assumed you were setting up a huge suprise party with your guys friends. But it was actually quite the opposite.

You made a reservation for a fancy restaurant, his favorite place, and got all the snacks and movies you needed for a stay at home hang out afterwards.

It was a perfect plan. If Bakugo wouldn't take so long. Your thoughts are interrupted by the door creaking open and practically slamming shut- practically because he knows better than that. You get up to greet him with a nice big hug and kiss.

The sounds of his heavy boots come to a stop along with the sound of him taking them off. "Kats!" You call out once you see him, he wraps a free arm around you the other holding the gauntlet normally on the arm currently holding you.

"Hey babe," he says with a tired undertone in his voice. Clearly over worked from today's missions. "You miss me today?" You ask to tease him a bit, ans he looks at you confused. "Of course, always miss you."

"Well I just wondered if maybe you were thinking about spending the day with me," you explain "instead of at work." He looks at you clearly not understanding still. "Since it's your birthday?" You can see understanding dawn on his face.

"Dont need to celebrate stuff like that" he lets go of you to take off the rest of his gear and you follow him. "I know you dont like celebrating your birthday for whatever reason." He nods along with your words, concentrated on putting his gear away but also what you are saying.

"So I didnt plan anything!" You cheerfully state. This catches him off guard and he looks at you in suprise. "Really?" He asks. "I planned a 3date night3 but that has nothing to do with your birthday it just happens to land on the same day.

This makes Bakugo begins to smile. "Annnd I wasn't being responsible at the store earlier and just couldn't help myself so I bought our favorite snacks. Oh and the copy of that movie you really like." Bakugo chuckles under his breath as he finishes putting the last of his gear away.

"So theres "nothing" planned? All thats coincidence?" He asks jokingly. "Yeah pretty much." You going along eith the bit shrugging your shoulders. "I mean if could cancel our reservations and we can just eat here like normal. Its whatever we need to cut back on snacks anyway right?"

You begin walking around him until you feel a strong hand grab at your waist. Bakugo takes you in his arms and lifts you to his shoulder carrying you to your shared bedroom.

"Katsuki!" You yelp in suprise. "We gotta figure out what you're going to wear right?" Is all he says in response.

~~~~~~~

"How bout this one?" You ask walking out in one of your many red dresses. Bakugo, who was getting dressed himself in between you putting on different outfits looks over. You hadn't worn this dress in a while and you can see the look of adoration flood your boyfriends face.

"You look gorgeous, and im not just saying that because the of the dress. You always are beautiful, just-" you cut him off by walking over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. You laugh smearing the stained lipstick mark you left on his cheek.

"Thank you baby, so I should wear this one?" The loving look in his eyes as he looks you up and down once again, his gaze ends at your face, tells you your answer. "Yes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You unlocked the front door and stepped inside, flicking on the light with a soft smile. Bakugo followed close behind, kicking his shoes off lazily and tossing his jacket over the arm of the couch.

Bakugo wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you back into him, resting his chin on your shoulder for a moment. “Thanks again… for tonight. I mean it.”

You leaned into him. “Of course. I just wanted it to feel like you. Not a party. Just us.”

“Tch. Well you nailed it.” You wiggled out of his grip only to grab the remote. “Okay, birthday boy. We can cuddle until we both pass out.”

“You’ve earned it. Go wild.” He smirked, with the lights dimmed, a warm blanket over both of you, and your head resting on his chest, it didn’t matter what was playing.

His hand rested on your back, slowly tracing idle patterns while the sound of the movie played on in the background.

Halfway through, his voice rumbled softly. “Y’know... I’m glad it was just you.” You tilted your head up, meeting his warm, sleepy gaze.

“Me too.” You nuzzled against him again, both of you quiet after that—letting the warmth, the closeness, and the soft sound of the TV lull you into that peaceful place only found with each other.

By the time the credits rolled, you were both fast asleep—arms tangled, breathing steady, hearts full. Just the two of you. Exactly how he liked it.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi!!

I just wanted to ask some advice from one butch to another.

I recently got my dream job of being a warden on a nature reserve (and i love it!), while interacting with people there I get called a young man very often (i am 18 lol) and it gives me euphoria to know im masculine enough to even pass as a man. I've also had some volunteers ask if I was a man or not (despite my feminine name).

But recently I got called a "lady" outside while out with my mother. It drove me INSANE I cried alot.

Don't get me wrong I do identify as a woman but I hate being seen as a lady.

I've even thought about using he/him pronouns recently and changing my name but i'm too scared to as most people won't understand bc im still a lesbian.

Is this strange?

ps love u and ur blog lots xx

This is an easy answer because I was 18 once and looked enough like a teenage boy that I got "hey sport" and "hey young man" all the time, especially when in my work clothes. I worked for The Mayor's Youth Corp in Iowa City in the summers of my 15th and 16th year. Mom and Dad let me get a work permit AND bought me a used Datsun Pickup so I could drive myself the 20 miles there and back each day.

I was a volunteer with the Corp of Engineers youth from 14 to 16 and Dad knew I was super excited about this job. Mom was not thrilled that I wanted to cut my hair but my "grand mullet" was really hot under the hard hat in the summer heat of Iowa. (in the 1980's boys and girls had the short in front long and permed in back look) We compromised and I cut the sides really short. (photo of my me at 16 in my uniform for reference)

Using "he" would never have occurred to me because "EWWW Boys". This is not to say, however, that I hated being mistaken for a boy, on the contrary, it felt good. When someone thought I was a young man it meant they treated me as such. They didn't talk down to me, I knew they assumed I was capable and willing to get dirty. I knew unconsiously that along with the mistaken identity came many perks. This was nothing I analyzed but little girls see very early on the difference in treatment they recieve from their brothers, male cousins and neighborhood boys. This difference leads us to become negotiators to control our circumstances and not entittled to treatment based on our skills and actual personalies.

When an adult recognized me as a boy, even for a second at first glance, I knew I didn't have to prove myself. They, for an instant, assigned to me words like "strong, capable, demanding etc". No negotations required.

When someone realized I was a girl they literally had a change in their face. They smiled at me, softened their voice. When I was called "young lady" or "Miss" it always seemed to be backed my the worst assumptions (in my mind anyway). Lady is steeped in all kinds of traits I didnt want assigned to me. "quiet, weak, likes to dress pretty"OR "motherly, submissive, meek" Nothing good in my teen brain, that is for sure. Lady felt so OLD, so married to a man and reliant on him for survival, so polyster pants and ugly flats and scratchy blouses with a flower imprint. NONE of these things are inherent to being a woman or even socially forced on us but that is not how things work sometimes. Words that describe people get stereotypes and myths and traits attached to them all the time. Woman and girl are no different.

I can tell you, the best feeling in the world when I was in that job was when my supervisor, who damn well knew I was a young woman, trusted me with all the same tasks as the boys. Who valued my opinions and abilities equally to the young men. He took time to teach me what I didn't know, just like with them and didn't assume I couldn't or didn't want to learn things on the job. He didn't shame ANYONE for not being strong enough or for getting tired or needing a break.

Don't let the assumptions of others force you into another box of conformity. You don't need a boys name or to use any pronouns you don't feel connected to just to please others. In fact, none of that effort will change perceptions of those around you. I can promise that one day being called Lady will just be another word that you can hear and know it does not change your personality or your interests or control the hope you have for your future. What does waste a lot of time and energy is trying to adjust things in your life to fit incorrect or snap assumptions about you as a person. You can never control the thoughts of those around you but what you can do is stop worrying about it and enjoy YOU.

You have a job you love and are sure to thrive in. You are solid in your sexuality and love of women, you are in a unique position to possibly change the perceptions of others when they think of "young women". Your interactions with the public are sure to effect the assumpions of at least some people when they think of young women and their roles in our society.

Congratulations on your new career and I bet you rock that uniform.

[erwinsvow]

had the worst day ever😭 i need some shy!reader and rafe

im so sorry baby hope this makes you feel better ♡

bad days always felt the same—never ending, dragging on and on while you're too tired, bones exhausted and muscles weeping. your head hurts from the overthinking, and though you're hardly one to get mad about silly things, today you are—mad. it must be something you've picked up from your boyfriend.

everything feels unfair, feels wrong or like it's about to go wrong. you can't even describe it if someone were to ask, but you know your boyfriend will ask, and that you need to get an answer ready since he doesn't settle for your silence, even though today you'd really wish he would.

from the morning that started off late to the afternoon that dragged on, the barista that messed up your order and then was rude to you about it, nothing was going your way. the coffee had just been the tipping point—that was the one thing meant to cheer you up.

when you drag your tired body and achy head to tannyhill, you stop to glance in the mirror in the hallway.

this was your tipping point, how messy your hair was, smudged mascara from when you cried in your car outside the coffee shop and the nail you chipped slamming the door. everything sucked, and though rafe always made it better, you didn't even want to see him when you looked like this.

you want to turn around and go home, but your feet still drag you to rafe's bedroom. your brain knows he'll make you feel better, though it takes everything in your willpower to open the door.

"hey, kid. how was your day?" the second he asks, glancing up from his laptop to look up at you, you burst into tears. he rushes over, putting his hands on your shoulders to keep you upright, to calm you down. "woah, what the hell. what's wrong?"

words don't come out, just sobs. you don't think rafe's ever seen you like this before, but it doesn't take him long to bring you into a hug, and you cry against his chest until his shirt is all wet.

"what's goin' on, baby? someone do somethin'? huh?" rafe is a problem solver at his core—but you know there's no one person to blame for today, except maybe yourself. though you wouldn't mind a little roughhousing, you don't think rafe's gonna be open to beating you up. your words come out slurred in a mumble of tears.

you rattle off your day in between sobs, and when he sits you down on his bed, he's a little less concerned because at least you're okay.

"c'mon," he says, and you lean against his shoulder. "get it all out and then y'can take a hot shower. i'll get dinner. s'gonna be fine."

though you're not saying many words, and a part of you had thought he'd be upset that you cry over every little thing, everything rafe says and does makes you feel better. when you sniffle, moving to wipe your tears, he holds your face in his hands, running a thumb across your cheek to wipe them away. you lean into his hand.

"s-sorry about your shirt."

"don't worry 'bout that, kid. you feelin' better?"

"a little."

"c'mon, clothes off. let's go shower. water as hot as you want it." you perk up, even laughing a little—rafe thinks the water you use will scald your skin.

"really?" you question, smiling up at him.

"really."

"thanks, rafe."

"yeah." he follows you to the shower, and though it didn't take many words or much time, you feel better already.

[braindeadvenus]

usually i get too terrified to post on social media (once i commented on someones post on here and my body started physically shaking until they answered), and when a situation like Joel leaving Blind Channel comes up I'll rant to friends who know generally know nothing about this band apart from what i tell them.

however i have some very strong feelings about this situation, and it was not enough to do what i normally do so excuse me as i give my opinion based off of all my observations whilst lurking in the shadows (trust me i know more about this band than it would seem based off of my tiny levels of interaction with the fandom) and then proceed to slither back under the rock whence i came.

ive seen many peoples responses to the situation, and i do think it is in fact a weird one. im not going off of how it was worded, which is what many people seem to be doing. i think that from the snippet we see of how Joel's health was being affected by the momentum of the band's success after eurovision is enough to tell us that it was too much for him. he mentioned at one point having had hallucinations such as "the ground pumping" (quoted - i think is how he said it) on road to rotterdam so there was definitely more going on behind the scenes which we will never know.

however this seemed like a very out of character thing for joel to do at this period in time. he has always loved the band and has given all of his energy to it. i do not for one second believe that he would leave unless he absolutely had to. however the timing of this is uncanny to me. on a hiatus, when they are meant to be getting all of their energy back whilst working on whatever side projects they would want to pursue, i would not expect health to be the underlying cause of joel leaving. i'd think it would be a thing taken into consideration for sure, but not the main reason. i'd think that it would be more like him to leave after they came back and had had a tour, or maybe even during a tour itself, or just in the midst of some very tiring work, when he had the time to realise just how draining the band is for him.

it seems like the decision is too logical for him to make for his health, and too illogical for him to make for his happiness. going off of the fact that he has adhd, it's a fucking miracle when you have adhd that theres something that you can do 24/7 without getting bored and it would arguably be MORE important to someone w/ adhd than their own health, success & basically everything else, especially if its the ONE thing you wanted to do with your life. despite how exhausted he was, it's so untimely for him especially and just doesnt make sense with the hiatus having been a time for rest

there's been references to the clip in their documentary, which seems to have made MANY people in the fandom, me included, extremely uncomfortable, where joel and niko disagree over lines in wolves. i feel like it's an odd situation, because its not just about how the lines were divided. the fact that they are rap means they were literally tailored towards niko's strengths, and not joel's, and when you have two vocalists it's important to keep a balance of that in each album, yet in exit emotions it seems to be completely unbalanced throughout the whole album, which is something that they MUST have noticed in their recording process and therefore done it deliberately. there was no logical reason why joel couldn't sing 5 more words, which is what kind of annoyed me. on top of that, it feels very much as if niko is talking down to joel, and feels more like joel is a 5 year old asking for a piece of candy after having been told no numerous times, rather than being an equal to niko, an adult who can logically look at some lyrics and think 'hey, i have less lines'. it would be more out of place if it was the only/ one of few songs on the album, however wolves isnt the only song, its seemed like that for phobia, xoxo, happy doomsday, etc.

and it feels like that atmosphere wasn't completely new to them, especially with how quickly joel drops the subject, and how preplanned niko's words and tone feel. the songs on this album also seem as if they really were not written to joel's strengths, and the uneven divide of lines is just weird. when niko says "rap always has more lines" it seems pretty valid, however when you think about it, niko has had more lines on songs from previous albums, taking Another Sun as an example, yet it still doesn't feel as so much of an uneven divide. it's not as if joel does this too, either, as i do not think i can name as many instances where he would have more vocals (in Balboa he does but apart from that theres nothing i can think of off of the top of my head where ive thought that niko seems weirdly like more of a backing singer, unlike with joel).

at a certain point it felt as if he was simply a selling point for the band, as someone who is undeniably good looking (not saying the others arent by the way as that would be a flatout LIE), has a massive hand in running social media AND having a great understanding of how it works and how to portray himself in it to get the most engagement, it would be no surprise if it was in fact this way.

he was trying his hardest despite his health situation, and pulling himself together in certain situations was simply not possible. i understand the band's annoyance at this in certain situations, however he literally could not control it. the band meant everything to him from the moment he founded it and i don't believe he would leave on a hiatus if he had literally no choice, which is why i don't think that the causes mentioned in the instagram post are anywhere near the full story. he always involved himself in the creative processes (writing, recording, producing) of each song as much as he personally could, and you could see the very essence of the band will not be the same without him.

there was many situations when i felt an annoyance radiating from the others, which they always tried to keep down, at the fact that joel can be too much sometimes. it feels like they just want him to pull himself together, in a way, and act like a "normal adult" which is something that could be almost impossible for joel as someone with mental issues that would stand in his way of doing that. it always felt like they gave up on being understanding too quickly, especially niko, because they felt like there simply wasn't time to deal with something any neurotypicals would view as arbitrarily insufficient and lamentable. it feels as if no one was willing to understand him without him getting a grip on life first, which isn't easily done when his whole life has been dedicated to the band for so long that he's unable to all of a sudden be able to understand his own brain and how to control it enough to be a convenient person to be around for the others. in reality he just seems like someone who is in need of extensive comfort, and after being told he's too much for so much of his life he needs to be told it'll be okay, not to tone it down. he's spoken about being expected to act tough because of his appearance, and he genuinely seems in need of someone to simply care for him.

do i think this is the end of blind channel? no of course not. this isn't some situation where the whole band will fall apart, nor do i think joel leaving was surprising whatsoever, however the timing of it was uncanny enough for me think that something probably unpleasant happened behind the scenes, and there was simply a massive role played by his health and creative differences, which is why they have been used as reasoning, however i think that they cannot be the sole cause of him leaving so soon. i think that he would have left for those reasons at some point, but just not at a time like this.

it has left me very bitter because it was something he was so passionate for, and no matter the cause it's so fucking unfair on him that he has been driven out of a large part of his life which he had such a love for. although he seems happy now, he also seems like the sort of person to struggle with such change, no matter how hard he might try to hide it, and i just hope he can cope with leaving it all behind. hopefully media and radio will be a much better and healthier thing for him. i'm absolutely devastated that i never had the chance to see him sing live, and will forever hate that everything could have gone so much smoother for him, however i'm excited to see how this new chapter of his life will play out and hope he has a better time in the future than he did in the previous years.

and no disrespect to the band either, i can't wait to see what new things they'll come out with together after the hiatus and individually during it.

[arllyyweenie]

Okay so this is my first ever stiles S/Void smut hope you guys enjoy!

Warning:name calling, fingering, pussy licking

word count :1,358

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><

Ever since you noticed stiles was acting weirder per usual, you have been worried for him. Ever since the pack has told you about the supernatural world and about the Nogitsune it hasn’t left your mind..

Stiles hasn’t left your mind, you’re his best friend and it gives you rights to worry about him. You were walking over to stiles house to check up on him obviously you were on his porch knocking on the door it was night time. At first he didn’t answer. You knock again and he opens the door. “Y/n What are you doing here?” He asked as he stepped aside for you can come inside his house. “You need to tell me what’s going on. I know that your possessed by a fucking 1,000 year old spirt” you said in a worried voice. He softly smiled at you, watching you worried but then his smile dropped when void told him something in his thoughts.

“Can I just. Spend the night here stiles please I need to know your okay.” You said looking at him with your doe eyes that always had him weak to his stomach everytime he looked at you. He started to look at you like he wanted to fuck the shit out of you. Obviously you could tell

But yet didn’t say anything and just ignored it. “Yeah Y/n you can stay” he said smirking at you thinking of all the stuff you guys can do before going to sleep. “Good cause.. I wasn’t gonna take a no for an answer” you said and then walked up stairs to his room. Stiles behind you closing the door and locking it. Then walking up the stairs to his room with you. you guys get inside stiles room he takes off his shirt putting on one of his more comfortable outfits.

you just look at while trying to find what to say to him. "So how are you feeling right now?" you said slowly and quietly. " Im amazing." he said in a raspy tone of voice imaging so many ways of fucking you. "That's good," you said breathing out heavy stiles then passes an oversized shirt to you and pants when he gave you them, you notice something different about him. his eyes they're darker than usual and he looks more tired than he was before. "what's wrong, dove" he said in a low voice you shook your

head "nothing just.. thinking- um we should sleep y'know we got school and a test too..." you said messing up your words a bit. He then just nodded agreeing with you.

Later on around 5am you woke up to stiles standing up above you "stiles what's wrong-" you said before you got interrupted "oh y/n, you know what's happening don't act dumb around me love." he said you then noticed it was stiles who you were talking to but expect it was void.. you gulped you were trying not to make any sudden of movements to make him see your afraid or scared. since you were still laying down he hovered over you, you being on bottom and him on top you can't lie you liked it, in fact it made you feel stuff you haven't felt. "you want to get fucked? huh you little slut" void said as he was teasing you taking off your pants. you breathe out heavily and whine, rocking your hips for any touch you can get from him.

you moaned out since you got a little of his touch "fuck void.." you said moving your hand to his shirt gripping on it. He then starts to move your panties to the side as he spits in his ring and middle finger. He moved his Two fingers close to your mouth. “Spit on them.” He commanded. So you did.. you do it. You spit on his finger and he just smirks at you. He takes his Two fingers and inserts it into your tight wet pussy you moaned softly, his eyes then drift to yours. All you can see is lust in his eyes, craving every inch of your body aswell. "f-fuck.. void" you said in a moan, you softly bit your lip. "You like that don't you? you liked being my little slut..?" he said, thrusting his fingers in and out of you fast. you wanted to say something but couldn't you just moan in response, "Shit am I really that powerful Dove?" He said he leaned into your neck kissing while leaving love bites. you had your eyes closed enjoying each moment you had with him, sure it was wrong but you couldn't help it.

void then started too finger your clit with his thumb and you moaned out loud "fucking shit!" you moaned out loud he then starts thrusting in faster and faster his thumb still circling around your clit as you were chasing your own climax. He starts kissing you everywhere and all over your neck leaving multiple hickeys. "V-void.." you said whining "I know you're close, cum for me let me taste your sweet, sweet cum love" he said as you cum on his fingers you scratch his back obviously he didn't care.. All he wanted was for you to be satisfied with his touch. After that he slips out your fingers and licked you cum "you taste good dove." he said. he then bent down on you to your wet pussy. he kisses your thigh near your pussy then kisses your pussy you moaned again. he starts licking your pussy, near your clit and then slides his tongue inside your pussy. you moan loud "Fuck!" you moaned out loud void then smirks, "you like that dove" he said in a raspy voice. you felt the vibrations by him talking. you start getting close again and grip on his fluffy hair. "fuck void!" you moaned out loud your legs started to shake. without a warning you came on his tongue he licks up your cum and backs up he drifts his eyes up to yours you can see his eyes dark and full of fucking lust. he then takes off his pants you can see a little of precum leaking through his underwear. You can see he was hard.. really hard. He then takes out his underwear and you can see his rock hard 9.6 inches.

you gasped softly at the size, how can all of that fucking fit in your pussy? "Don't worry, dove. it'll fit I'll make sure of it" he said clearing up your thoughts that you were thinking you just nodded.

he jerks himself off near your pussy you wanted his dick so fucking bad. "fuck me please..void" you begged him “ y’know stiles is fighting to take control right now. He wants to be the one fucking you instead of me.. so what do you want dove?” He asked.. you stay quiet for a second “I want you fucking me.” He smirked then pounds into your tight pussy he moaned out. “ fuck y/n I didn’t realize you’ll be this fucking tight” he breathed out.

You ignored what he said and you were a hot moaning mess with him. He loved that he had that much control over you.

He keeps thrusting in and out of you, he almost takes out his length, his tip nearly slipped out your entrance. With that, he rammed back into you roughly not giving a damn if it hurts or not. He placed his hands on your hips pinching the skin there as he continued to thrust into you. “Holy shit!” You screamed out, your legs fully shaking and feeling a tight knot in your stomach void groaning at your walls clenching him. You can feel his cock throb inside of your walls, “go ahead and cum dove” he muttered his voice deep and raspy from having sex.

You obeyed his order and cum around his dick, he then cums in you, making you feel his warm cum.“Don’t think I’m over with you yet love.” Void said as he disappeared in thin air leaving you a mess.