#there's this thing i'm tryna work on and get done and i did really good in the beginning but now i've been struggling with a few parts of i

[b-o-e]

alone with you, take two

Wally Darling x Reader

Warnings: jealous wally, frustrating neighbours, mwah mwah kissy smooches!!

although it is not necessary, I highly suggest reading my fics in their recommended order for the best experience! here is the link to all my silly lil wally fics in order. this is #11 :)

Jealousy isn’t a frequent feeling for Wally, but sometimes, things get on his nerves.

“Hun, would you mind helping me with these treats please?”

Your attention was drawn away from Wally, once again. 

It was a Friday night, and the neighbourhood was gathered for their weekly get together, of course. Lots of eating, game playing, and mingling going on.

You left Wally’s side, assuring him you would be right back, off to assist Poppy with whatever it was she needed.

Wally blew out an irritated huff.

And this get together seemed to mean he barely got to steal any of you for himself.

Everyone was taking you left and right. ‘Hey, come play a game with us!’ ‘Would you help me set these up?’ ‘Come take a look at this!’ No matter what, it was one thing or another, back to back to back.

Now, despite having quite a way with words, Wally still didn’t know how to use them, at times.

Occasionally, he didn’t know how to ask for things, particularly when it comes to a new challenge he's unsure of how to approach. He just… didn’t. So, what would he do instead?

He would stare.

And he would stare.

And he would stare.

He would stare, until the other person picked up on his silent plea for assistance. Or, until it will have been long enough where he figures it out himself.

This was the predicament you were in now. Although, unfortunately for Wally, you were still yet to notice you were in any sort of predicament at all.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been. He almost couldn’t complain, because it provided an extra good excuse to look at you. At the same time, he was getting frustrated, because how haven’t you realized yet? 

Well, actually, maybe you had. But, whenever it seemed like you were going to inquire, someone stole your attention away, which would irk Wally just a little bit more.

It’s happened multiple times now. By just about everyone. Twice, by most! Were they doing it on purpose, at this point? Wally was beginning to question.

For now, Wally watched and waited. And watched and waited. And watched and waited. Until finally, you were finished helping Poppy and on your way back over to him. So, he seized his opportunity.

“Would you—” he began, only to be cut off.

“Hey pipsqueak! Come play a quick round with Eddie n I!” 

If looks could kill, Barnaby would’ve been dead where he stood.

“Deal me in, too!” Howdy raised a hand, making his way over to the table, stretching his other arms and cracking his knuckles with confidence.

“Do you get one or two hands, with two sets of arms?”

“Actually,” you glanced at Wally, looking over at the group again. “Give him two! He can play for me, I’ll hop in later,” 

“Which hand do you wanna be, kiddo?”

“Uh… top? Cause I’m on top, y’know?”

Howdy sniggered.

“Okay, I’ll give you the bottom hand.”

“Jeez. Ask me for my fancy, just to ignore it,” you clicked your tongue in amusement, looking at Wally. He gazed back at you, eyes hopeful. Was he finally getting your attention? All to himself? “What did you want to say, sorry?”

Wally sighed with relief. Finally!

“Would you li–”

“Starlight! Won’t you come join Julie and I’s game?” Sally called out to you.

Nope.

Wally had it.

As you opened your mouth to reply, Wally took you by the hand, answering for you.

“Later.”

His tone was sharp and curt as he stormed toward the door, leading you behind him.

No more distractions.

Wally pulled you along, pausing briefly at the exit and looking at you, ensuring you were fine with this. Your eyes met his, and although surprised and confused, you understood the silent question and gave him a nod to go on.

The two of you stepped outside, walking briskly into the cool night. A sigh of relief left Wally, glad to finally be away from his beloved although slightly infuriating neighbours. When he decided the two of you had wandered far enough, he slowed his pace, sucking in a breath of the refreshing air. He looked at you to apologize for being so brash, only to pause.

You were staring at him, a grin growing on your face.

“Is this what I think it is?” you questioned him. His brows furrowed in puzzlement.

“Were you getting jealous in there, Wally?”

He gaped at the accusation. Jealous? Him? He opened his mouth to shut it down, only to hesitate.

Was he jealous?

His cheeks heated as realization hit him. He gaped like a fish, trying to think of a reasonable defense for himself, to no avail.

“... they were doing it on purpose,” he could only claim, deflating. 

“They were being quite rude, weren’t they?” you empathized with a giggle. “I’m sorry,”

“It’s not your fault,” he shook his head, sure of that much. “But they kept pulling you away, this way and that way. I think that I was deserving of a turn,”

“Well, no matter, now we are alone,” you smiled. “No more interruptions. What would you like, Wally?” you asked him.

He blanked.

Right.

The reason he wanted your attention in the first place.

Wally’s head dipped down shyly, his fingers gently toying with your own.

How does he say it?

He returned his gaze back to your eyes. You were waiting patiently for him to speak. No rush at all. You never did.

“I wanted to step outside with you,” he said, speaking slow as he took the time to figure out his words.

“I wanted to spend some time away, just you and I,” he continued. “Everyone was demanding your attention, but I wanted some for myself. That sounds quite selfish now that I say it out loud, doesn’t it?” He mumbled.

“I don’t think you’re being selfish at all,” you begged to differ. “I think that you have a right to desire some extra attention from me. We are together, after all. And, that being said, you are my top priority,” 

“As you are mine,” Wally nodded, giving your hand a squeeze.

“So, you just wanted to spend some time together?” You hummed softly, smiling at him. “I always quite like that idea,”

“Well, not quite…” he trailed along sheepishly, looking down at your interlocked hands.

“What would that be, Darling?”

“I wanted to kiss you,” he admitted.

“To kiss me?”

He nodded.

“Well, why don’t you, then?”

He peeked up at you.

“... might I?”

“Of course,” you giggled. 

“… now I’m nervous,” he uttered bashfully, gazing downward as he shyly rubbed the back of his neck. You grinned in amusement, leaning closer to him.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” You whispered, placing your finger under his chin to redirect his attention to you. His eyes widened slightly in surprise, gazing into yours as he licked his dry lips.

“Please?” He murmured out. 

With a smile, you tilted his chin up a bit more, closing the gap between you and pressing your lips to his in a sweet, short kiss. He went a little rigid before he relaxed into it, though he didn’t have quite enough time to reciprocate before you moved to break the kiss. 

As you began to pull away, his hand found the side of your neck, not ready for you to leave just yet. He led you back in before you went too far, his lips met yours once again, bringing you in for another kiss, slow and loving.

Moments later, Wally pulled away, more content this time. He gazed at you, any hint of his prior frustration nowhere to be seen anymore, nothing but a look of fondness left remaining in his eyes. He studied you, from your flushed cheeks to your small smile, meeting your equally love filled eyes.

“Are you satisfied now?” You asked with a light teasing tone, rubbing at your warm cheek as if it would make your embarrassed blush fade away. Wally clicked his tongue, glancing towards the noisy home down the way.

“Mmm, I’m not sure…” he hummed with a playful tone, looking back at you with a glint in his eyes.  “I think that I deserve you for some time more. How does another kiss sound to you? Then, maybe I’ll be satisfied,”

hi! hello! did i scare you? i'm back from the dead to offer you this! i hope that you enjoyed! burnout is real, bahaha! if you are new, i have some other fics along these lines you can read as well!

here is a link to my silly lil wally fics in their recommended order if you would like :) these can also be found on my ao3 B) I also have a ko-fi if you'd like to support me!

also!!! ART!!! people made art based on my fics!!! MIND BLOWING!!! check them out, super duper cool!

@leon-dechino created this one and this one! SO cool, mind boggling, makes me so happy gavhxsah

@sunkyss created this one! AHHH! so wild man, i still can't believe it bahaha! i highly suggest you check both of them out! they have so many cool works on top of these!

alas! 'tis all for now! i hope to see you soon! MWAH! until next time <3

Posted Wednesday, June 7, 2023 at 2:07 PM

[heavyhitterheaux]

IDGAF (NSFW)

See Me Through You Series

I don't care right now (I don't give a fuck)

Pull your hair right now (come here)

Tryna beat it right now (she like)

But you know I got a man

Synopsis: Joe has no more fucks to give and is tired of him not having the title of being your boyfriend

Warnings: mentions of dv

Do not engage if you are underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After Joe had told you that he knew that you loved him instead of Trevor, you stood there speechless.

One thing you weren't about to do was tell him that he was wrong.

His eyes never left yours as he waited for you to say something. When you didn't, he knew that it had to be up to him to at least try to pull a response out of you.

“Look, Y/N, if you go back to him, fine. I can't stop you, but I do need to tell you one thing.” He told you as he grabbed your left hand to hold it while the other one was holding onto the bouquet of flowers that he had gifted you.

“What's that?” You asked him not knowing that you had absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter.

“You’re making a mistake and hopefully you realize that before you get hurt again because I know that at this point, it's bound to happen.” Joe said as he was not holding back how he felt about the entire situation.

Now the question was why did Trevor have such a strong hold on you?

“Joey, I promise that you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine.” You said while trying to reassure him, but knew for a fact that more than likely it was not working in your favor.

“And who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? Do you also not realize how much your brother worries about you too? From what I've seen and heard about him, he is not a good person. Especially not to you. Did you forget him leaving actual marks on your wrist while we were at that party and you were trying to get away from him? What do you think would have happened if I wasn’t there to get you away from him?”

“I wish that people would just stop acting like they know what's best for me.” You breathed out, frustrated about being hit from all different angles.

Joe, Ja'Marr, Erin, and Alisha.

Even your parents thought that you had broken up with him a while ago because that's what Ja'Marr told them when he knew that Joe had eyes for you.

“Bam Bam! Why did dad just say he was relieved that I finally broke up with Trevor!? And that you had told them?! Didn’t realize my life was a soap opera to you!”

“I just uh predicted the future. Now you're not going to make me look like a liar to mom and dad, right?”

“I should beat your ass right now.”

“I mean…. You have someone who likes you that I know will treat you right. He's literally just waiting for Trevor to get out of his rightful spot.”

“JA'MARR! Who are you talking about!?”

“Pebbles, don't be dumb. I'm talking about Joe, obviously. I see the type of person he is and that's someone I want for my sister.”

The relief that was evident on their faces let you know that he was not ever going to have approval from anyone that was a part of your life.

As soon as those words left your mouth, Joe wasted no time responding to you.

“Oh so you think this is what a healthy relationship between two people looks like? And someone obviously needs to because you definitely can't do it yourself.”

“Just like you said before, if I go back to him, it really isn't any of your business or anyone else's for that matter. Let's keep it that way because I am done with this conversation.”

“If that's what you want then okay. I won't say anything else about it. And to add to that I'll keep my distance because you're right. You shouldn't be spending more time with another man that isn't your boyfriend and I guess he probably feels like I stepped on his toes enough. But he won't have to worry about that anymore.” He told you as he sighed and held up his hands in defense, losing the warmth that he had been getting from holding your hand.

“Wait…” You started to say, but Joe shook his head at you.

“No, this is what you wanted so this is how it's going to be from now on.”

“Joey, I didn't mean…”

“Didn't mean what? You love me but your ass is crawling back to him as he begs for forgiveness as usual after doing the bare minimum? Actually, he doesn't even do that. I'm not about to compete with anyone who I feel isn't even on my level to compete with me in the first place. I'll see you at the game if you're coming later. Probably not the best idea to wear my jersey since we can't have Trevor seeing it.”

Now it was apparent that Joe was more than pissed off with you.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I need to head back to my apartment to start to get ready anyway. But for the record….” He trailed off and you tried to grab his hand, but he immediately moved away.

“For the record what?”

“I love you too. So do what you will with that information.”

That's the last thing Joe told you before he turned away from you before he walked back to meet up with Justin and Ja'Marr.

Later that day in the afternoon, you were sitting next to Alisha and Erin in the student section of the stadium waiting for the game to start. After the conversation between the two of you earlier in the day, you honestly didn’t feel like going, but decided to anyway.

Even though Joe was mad at you, you had already promised him last week that you would wear his jersey to the game and didn't care who saw it at this point.

You were going to support your friend.

Your friend that you were in love with and he was in love with you however that was a whole nother discussion.

“You look good in your future husband's jersey.” Erin teased while Alisha laughed before taking a bite of her hot dog.

“He’s a little mad at me right now so hopefully seeing me in it will make it a little bit better.” You said as you turned to look at her.

“Well he can't be but so mad at you since he is literally making his way over here.” Alisha told you as you turned around to see that she was indeed correct.

The three of you were on the first row in the middle so that you would have the best view. In order to get these seats, all three of you made sure to get to the stadium early. When Joe finally reached you, he had an expression on his face that you couldn't quite read and you were the first one to speak.

“Surprised to see me?” You asked and he nodded.

“A little bit, but I know you. A promise is a promise and you said that you would be here. You aren't one to back out of something so easily.”

“Hmm, true. Are you still mad at me?” You quietly asked and Joe simply shrugged.

“Seeing you in my jersey is making me less mad if that helps. If you were my girlfriend, after tonight when I won I would be able to take it off of you. But I know my opportunity is coming.”

“I…” You started to say as you felt your cheeks heating up.

“Oh, that’s right. We established boundaries today and I promised that I would back off. It's kind of hard, but I just have to deal with it.”

“Joey….”

“Bold move though wearing it considering anybody could see it, including him. We both know that he already doesn’t like me. Think he'd be mad if I kissed you right now? In front of all these people? Letting the entire world know that you belong to me and only me even if you aren't ready to admit it yet.” Joe whispered as he leaned closer to you. Joe had spotted Trevor in the stands a few rows up and sent a small smile his way which led to Trevor glaring at him. You still had yet to notice that he was there which Joe was going to take advantage of.

When you were quiet, Joe laughed as he broke the silence.

“Let’s find out.”

He lightly grabbed your face and moved you closer to him so he could place a kiss on your cheek that was dangerously close to your mouth.

If you would have moved less than one centimeter, he would have planted that kiss on your lips.

“We'll talk later.” He told you while pinching your cheek and you simply nodded. This was the second time today that he had left you speechless.

“Have a good game, Joey.”

“It already is a good game, because you're here.” He replied as he winked at you.

He made his way back over to the sideline while Erin and Alisha were grinning from ear to ear as you turned around to look at both of them.

“I seriously wish yall would just fuck already. It would literally solve so many problems. He would take you on the fifty yard line if he could.”

“ERIN!”

“I’m just saying. I am literally waiting for the wedding invite. I wonder if you two will get married here or have a destination wedding? I can start looking up places.”

“What am I going to do with you?” You asked her, but also couldn’t help but to laugh at the same time.

What you didn't see was Trevor fuming behind you. He had seen the entire interaction and planned to confront you about it later. He knew that you and Joe were obviously close and were friends, but that interaction that he just saw was too intimate for his liking.

He hadn't cared for Joe ever since the party where he had stepped in between the both of you. In the back of his mind, he knew Joe liked you, it was obvious. But one thing that he had to do was set him straight and let him know that you were his and planned on reminding you about it later.

Little did he know, it was too little too late.

You were too far gone at this point, and the only person that held your attention was Joseph Lee Burrow.

Later on that night after he had gotten back to his apartment from LSU winning their game, Joe had grabbed food and was sitting down eating it while his phone vibrated on the table in front of him indicating that it was his mom and he quickly answered.

He simply wanted to be by himself and didn't bother celebrating with any of his teammates because once again, his mind was on you.

It was a continuous cycle, you, football, and focusing on his classes.

It took everything in him not to text you to tell you to come over at this very moment. He was supposed to be mad at you, but being around you was something that kept him grounded. Seeing you wear his jersey tonight made it hard for him to continue to be mad at you.

“Hello?”

“I watched the game and you played amazing as usual. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to this one, but I will definitely be there next week.”

“It's fine, don't even worry about it and thank you.” He quietly said and she knew for a fact that something was wrong.

“What's going on? You sound upset.” Robin asked him and he sighed before he answered her.

“I like this girl…”

“Oh Y/N? Yes I know. Pretty obvious. You literally talk about her non-stop every week that me and your dad call you. Can't wait to meet her, but go on.”

“Well she knows that I like her, well I actually told her that I loved her earlier today and also told her that I knew she loved me. We've gotten really close ever since I came down here and met her. If I'm not playing football or in class, I am literally spending all of my time with her.”

“Well, what's the problem?”

“She has a boyfriend and I might just have to settle for being her friend because instead of breaking up with him and being with me, she told me that she is giving him another chance even after he's hurt her multiple times.”

“I know that can be hard to watch, but as bad as it sounds, you need to let her make her own mistakes. If that's her decision, you need to respect it.”

“And that's what I told her and also said from now on I’ll be keeping my distance from her.”

“If you feel that's your best option, then stand by your decision.”

“I just…. All I've seen is her getting hurt by him and she steadily defends him each time.”

“I… if you are her friend and you are as close as you claim you two are, just be there for her and help her get through whatever may happen. If the two of you are meant to be together, you'll be together.”

It was 2 in the morning when Joe heard someone knocking on his apartment door and was instantly confused. Hopping up from the couch that he had fallen asleep on with open books scattered around him, he opened the door to see you staring at him in a frantic state.

“Y/N, is everything okay? What's wrong?” He asked as he stepped to the side to be able to let you in and led you to sit down on the couch.

“My brother isn't here, is he?” You asked not bothering to answer his question and looking around since sometimes Ja'Marr would crash at Joe's place if he was too tired to go back to his own.

“No, but do I need to call him?” He asked and you immediately shook your head no.

“No! Please don't. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, just don’t tell him.” You didn't mean to raise your voice and it came out harsher than you intended.

“Then are you going to tell me what happened? Wait, why is there a cut near your eye? And it's bleeding.” He asked and got up to wet a washcloth and dabbed at your face with it.

It was at that moment that you had looked down and started playing with your matching bracelet that you and Ja'Marr had gotten each other on your eighteenth birthdays and under no circumstances would you make eye contact with him.

That's when the thought hit Joe like a ton of bricks.

“Did that asshole put his hands on you?”

“No.”

“Y/N, if you lie to me I'm calling Ja'Marr.”

“Okay, okay. He tried to. We were arguing and he threw a vase at me that shattered against the wall and some glass from it must have cut me. And then he pushed me into a corner and acted as if he was going to punch me, but punched a hole in the wall instead. Right next to my head. He apologized, but I waited until he fell asleep and then I came here. I was so scared.” You quietly said as tears were starting to run down your cheeks and Joe quickly wiped them away.

It happened again, just like he said it would.

And this time, it ended up being a lot worse.

Joe was sitting there with his jaw clenched and once you looked up at him, you knew that you had to stop him before he did something stupid.

He abruptly got up and was looking for his keys when you instantly ran to stand in front of the door to block him.

“Move, Y/N.”

“Joey, no. You are not going anywhere. Let it go.”

“He fucking hurt you. I should go over there and kick his ass myself.”

“I cannot risk you getting in trouble and therefore getting kicked off the team, he isn't worth it. I'll be fine. Do not mess up your future over me.” You told him as you took his hands in yours.

“But YOU are worth it. Who the fuck in their right mind would do something like that to you? I knew I didn't like him when I met him and your brother was right about him.”

“Joey, promise me. Please don't. I'll deal with it in my own way.”

“There is no way in hell you are going near him ever again. Ja'Marr would be mad as hell at me if he knew that I knew that he hurt you and didn't do anything about it.”

“And that's why you aren't going to tell him.”

“Wait, what? Y/N… you cannot be serious.”

“I… it's the same thing with him too. You can both get arrested for assault and it'll lead to so much more, just please.”

Joe let out a deep sigh before nodding, letting you know that he would honor your wishes.

The two of you were still standing in front of the door and the two of you hadn't taken your eyes off one another when you suddenly reached up and kissed him, catching him off guard, but he immediately kissed you back.

When the two of you broke apart, the reality of what you had just done hit you like a ton of bricks.

You had just cheated on your boyfriend with Joe.

And you didn’t have an ounce of regret in your body.

“I'm sorry, I…” You started to say as you stepped away from him and Joe cut you off as he lightly brought you back towards him.

“I'm not. Break up with him and be with me instead. So I can show you how you're supposed to be treated. I promise you that you won't regret it.”

You didn't respond, but Joe immediately brought your face to his and kissed you once more. Both of your hands were exploring each other's bodies but as soon as you tried to lift Joe's shirt, he abruptly stopped and he kissed the side of your mouth like he had done earlier at the game before saying anything.

“Not yet. You've been through a lot tonight and the last thing I want is for you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state and you regret it tomorrow.”

“But I'm…”

“I just want you to rest for the rest of the night. We have plenty of time for that. I'll grab you some clothes to sleep in.”

Nodding your head he kissed you again before taking your hand in his and led you towards his bedroom that you had grown familiar with all throughout the semester. Any time you came over, it would lead to you stealing one of his shirts or one of his hoodies. He was convinced when the semester was over that all he was going to have left at this rate were his boxers. Once there, he let go of your hand and went into his dresser to pull out one of his old Ohio State shirts and handed it to you.

“It'll probably be huge on you, but you'll be comfortable.”

You smiled at him before heading to the bathroom to change out of your clothes. Once you closed the door behind you, you glanced in the mirror and didn't recognize the girl staring back at you.

You promised yourself that if it happened again, you would leave him, but here you were. You had someone right in front of you that wanted to give you the world so what were you so scared of?

You were tired of running around in circles and tired of making excuses.

First thing you were doing later on that day was breaking up with Trevor.

Once you had gotten changed, you walked back out into Joe's bedroom to see he was now in just a pair of sweatpants and looked like he was headed towards the door, but was quickly stopped in his tracks as he heard your soft voice behind him making him turn around.

“Where are you going?” You quietly asked since you were confused.

“To sleep on the couch while you sleep in my bed. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay first.”

“Joey, no. I'm not kicking you out of your bed and besides, I don’t want to be by myself right now.” You confessed as you grabbed his hand.

He nodded as the two of you both got settled, Joe was closest to the door while you were closest to the window. After making sure you were comfortable, he reached over to turn off the lamp that was on the bedside table. That was when he heard your voice once more.

“Joey?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for always being there for me. Even when I might not deserve it.”

At this point in time, you were honestly surprised that he even answered the door and let you in, but knowing the type of person he is, he wouldn’t have reacted any differently.

“I'll be here as long as you want me to be and you deserve the world. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

—

You didn’t know how long you were laying there, but sleep was the last thing taking over your body. Noticing that Joe's breathing also hadn't slowed, you turned around to face him and at the same time you heard his voice.

“Princess? You still awake? You need to go to sleep.”

“I can't sleep. I'm still so scared, I know he's going to look for me sooner or later.”

“You’re safe here and no one is going to touch a hair on your head. I can promise you that.” He told you as he stroked your face and placed a light kiss on your forehead as he was able to make out your features in the dark by the moonlight peeking in through the curtains.

“Come here.”

Joe then wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him as he then leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips which you quickly returned.

All of this led up to a heated make out session with Joe now hovering over top of you as his hands reached underneath his shirt that you were wearing. His fingers lightly grazed your nipples and he then began to roll them between his fingers as he noticed that your bra that you had been wearing had been long forgotten which he was thankful for.

Before he lifted his shirt over your head, he asked for permission to make sure you were absolutely sure about wanting to do this. Joe had wanted you from day one, but if you weren’t ready to do this he was willing to wait until you were.

“Are you…?”

“Yes. I was sure earlier tonight and I'm sure now. I know the last thing I'm ever going to regret is being with you.”

Once he peeled the shirt away from your body, he now had full access to you. The plan was to take his time so he could give you the undivided attention that you deserved since he knew for a fact that Trevor wasn't giving it to you without even having to ask you about it.

His mouth found its way to one of your nipples and he began to lightly suck on it while continuing to roll the other one in between his fingers before switching making a moan escape your mouth.

“Mmm, fuck.”

“I'm going to make you feel so good, princess.” He whispered against your lips before kissing them.

The increase in wetness between your thighs was evident as you Iet out soft quiet moans from the sensation of having him explore your body with his mouth.

As he moved further south, Joe's fingers ran along your folds as he saw how wet you actually were.

“This all for me? I've barely even done anything and your body is responding like this?” He asked you as he placed one kiss on each inner thigh.

As you nodded, he inserted one finger and soon worked himself up to two before settling in between your thighs and beginning to pleasure you with his tongue.

After a few minutes, he noticed you starting to squirm and firmly wrapped his arms around your legs in the hopes of limiting your movement.

“Stay still for me princess.” Was all you heard as your hands found a way to his hair and was softly tugging on it, hoping to bring him in closer.

With the use of his tongue along with his fingers, a new sensation unknown to you was building in the lower half of your body and at the same time, Joe began to suck on your clit.

“Oh, shit….”

Joe felt your hands trying to push him away from you, but all he did was tighten his hold on your legs making sure you had no way to get away from him.

“You gonna cum for me, baby? You won't be able to if you keep moving away from me.” Joe asked you as he had come up for air, but immediately went back down.

“Yes.” Was all you said as he began to suck harder.

It took no time at all for you to feel like you were seeing stars as Joe continued to pleasure you.

It was official.

Joe had given you your first orgasm.

He gave you a few minutes to recover as he was placing kisses up and down your thighs before sliding off his sweatpants along with his boxers as he opened the bedside table to pull out a condom. It was still obviously dark in the room, but you could literally see because of the light coming through the windows past the curtains, how big he was and you suddenly became nervous.

You thought to yourself that there was no way in hell that he was about to fit.

Joe could sense this as he was putting the condom on and quickly tried to reassure you.

“No reason to be nervous, baby. It's going to fit. Most important thing is that you have to relax for me.” He told you while leaning down to lightly stroke your face.

“Okay.” You quietly said in response, but you still weren’t convinced. But at the same time, you knew that Joe had no reason to lie to you.

Once he positioned himself in front of you, he reached down to kiss you and once he pulled away from you is when you heard his voice once more.

“You ready, princess?”

You nodded, but that obviously wasn’t enough for him.

“I need words, you need to say it. I’m not doing anything unless you do.”

“I’m ready.”

Once he finally heard it, you felt Joe slowly entering you and you tightly closed your eyes. As you did this, Joe immediately felt your body tense up.

It would have probably been a good idea to tell him that you had never had sex before before all of this began happening, but knew that he would be as gentle as possible with you regardless.

That's just the type of person he was when it came to you.

“Princess, you have to relax. It's me and the last thing that I am ever going to do is hurt you. When I told you that I loved you, I meant it. Every word.” He quietly said as he leaned down to kiss you.

You nodded and several more kisses were placed on your lips when you felt him easing the rest of the way into you at the same time making you gasp as your arms wrapped around his neck.

“You're okay, I got you baby.” Joe told you as he gave you time to adjust to his size before he made any sudden movement.

Kisses were planted along your neck and shoulder as you were adjusting to a new feeling that you had never experienced before. It wasn’t quite to the point of pleasure, however you weren’t necessarily in pain either.

It felt weird.

About a minute or so had passed when you slowly felt him begin to move and you wrapped your arms around him tighter.

Now all you felt was pleasure as moans escaped from your mouth when Joe began to increase his pace.

In order to go deeper and at a better angle, Joe held onto your hips before deciding to wrap your left leg around his waist.

“If you want this as bad as you say you do, keep those legs spread. Fuck you feel so good around me, just like I knew you would.”

Since your arms were already tightly wrapped around him, his face was in the crook of your neck as he had now leaned forward.

Making that sudden change in position, he was now hitting the same spot over and over again and you just knew that it was about to send you over the edge sooner or later.

You were thinking that it would probably be sooner.

“Fuck, Joey stay right there.” You breathed out as he lifted his head to steal a quick kiss from you.

Doing what you had asked him to, his movements increased in pace while also becoming sloppy at the same time making you think that he was just as close as you were.

“Joey, I…” You trailed off as a weird sensation was building in your stomach once more and you knew it was happening again.

The second orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks and you felt like you had gotten the wind knocked out of you.

As Joe heard your soft whimpers, he placed kisses all along your shoulder blade as you rode out your high.

He placed another kiss on your forehead before he slowly slipped out of you making you wince and went to throw away the condom.

Once he had come back, he had a washcloth with warm water in his right hand as he started to gently glide it onto your body in order to wipe you off.

When he was finished, he threw it into the hamper and laid back down beside you, ultimately pulling you on top of him. Your eyes began to become heavy between Joe rubbing small circles along your back and listening to Joe's heartbeat.

Your eyes fluttered open from hearing the television on a low volume and you could only assume that Joe was already awake. Once he noticed that you began to stir, he peeked down at you seeing as you were still laying on his chest.

“Good morning, princess.” He softly said before placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Good morning. What time is it?”

“It’s almost nine and I was about to wake you up since I know that you have class at ten and it takes you five to seven business days to get ready.”

“Really, Joey?” You replied as you rolled your eyes.

“I call it like I see it. I always tell you what time I’m going to come and get you, however, I’ll be downstairs waiting in the car while you only still have one of your lashes on.”

“You get on my last nerve.”

“But did I lie?”

When Joe was met with silence and another eye roll from you, all he did was laugh.

“I guess I have to go and get ready then.” You told him as you sighed, not wanting to leave his embrace.

“We can do dinner later and have a study date…. With or without clothes.”

“JOSEPH!”

“What? What’d I say that was wrong? I was just giving you options!” He exclaimed as he then held up his hands in defense.

“I’m ignoring you. What time are we doing our dinner and study date?”

“As soon as you get out of class, just come back here.”

“I’m honestly a little nervous to go back to my apartment.” You said being completely honest.

“Just get some of your things and you can stay with me, you know that I don’t care and the most important thing is that you’re safe. I have to go to class too, but I can call Ja’Marr…”

“NO! Baby brother asks too many questions. I’ll be fine. The security guy who works there is super nice and I know if I tell him I don’t feel all that safe he’ll walk me to my apartment door.”

“As long as you’re sure. But call me if there’s a problem, understand?”

“Understood, Mr. Burrow.”

—-

Joe was still running off of the high from this morning as he had woken up to the sight of you beside him. He was walking to his last class of the day on campus when he did a double take as he spotted you in front of one of the many libraries that he knew was near a few of your classes. But who he saw you with was why he instantly became upset.

You were talking to Trevor, who of course he despised and for good reason.

He couldn't tell what the nature of the conversation was by your body language and it almost looked as if Trevor was barely paying any attention to what you were saying which wasn’t unusual.

So, did last night mean nothing to you?

Joe was watching you for a few more minutes until he looked down at his watch and noticed that if he didn't leave now that he would end up being late to class.

At this point, he was done trying.

If that's who you wanted, then fine.

And he made it up in his mind that he was done.

Completely.

Throughout the day, you were calling him and sending him text messages, that ultimately went unanswered making you nervous.

You deserved to get an explanation on why he was suddenly acting this way towards you and immediately hopped into your car after packing your bags that you were going to take in order to stay with him and quickly drove to his apartment.

The banging on Joe's door instantly annoyed him seeing as he just sat down to watch one of the many NBA games that we’re coming on that night. He glanced at the clock to see that it was barely 6 pm and had a feeling that it was you.

A deep sigh escaped his mouth before he got up to answer it. Once he did, he was met with you just as he suspected and you had a pissed off look on your face and Joe raised his eyebrows at you in confusion.

“Yes? Did you need something?”

“So, you can have sex with me, but then suddenly ignore me? I may be little, but I will kick your 6’4 ass and throw a dumbbell at your head.” You asked him and pushed your way past him into the apartment.

“It's not even like that so stop jumping to conclusions.” Joe replied as he closed the door behind you.

“Then tell me so I can understand, Joey! Because you have me confused. You claim to want me so bad and then end up ignoring me all day!? When I called you multiple times? Who does that?”

“Because I saw you with him! Why the fuck are you even talking to him? Hasn’t he hurt you enough?”

“Now look who's jumping to conclusions.” You said as you crossed your arms.

“Then why else would you be with him? You did tell me recently that you were going to give him another chance. Recently as in yesterday before we had sex so I simply thought she claims she loves me, yet she's still going back to him.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose before you said anything else to him.

“You are literally so annoying. I went to talk to him to break up with him! Last time I checked you did confess that you loved me or did I not get that right?”

“Oh.” Joe quietly said and you couldn't help but to roll your eyes.

You started to make your way back towards the door in order to leave when you felt Joe suddenly pull you back as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Let me go. I'm mad at you.” You said as you were trying to wiggle out of his grip.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything.” He replied as he turned you around to face him and leaned down to kiss you.

“No, don't kiss me. Turn me loose. Leave me alone. All you literally had to do was just ask me.”

“I know, but seeing you with him just pissed me off and so I walked away. I promise it won’t happen again. You forgive me? I’m not letting you go until you say you do.” Joe asked you as he squeezed you tighter and leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“I guess.” You muttered as he led the both of you over to the couch as Joe sat down first and then pulled you onto his lap.

“So, is it official now?” You asked him as he had been focused on the game that was playing on the television.

“Is what official?”

“Me being LSU's star quarterback Joe Burrow's girlfriend.” You teased as you kissed the tip of his nose.

“You've been mine for a while. That ex-boyfriend of yours was just keeping my spot warm. I bet he never made you feel as good as I did last night.” Joe told you as he was wiggling his eyebrows as you both then let out a laugh.

“No, because I never had sex with Trevor.”

Joe immediately stopped laughing and looked at you with wide eyes.

“Wait, huh?”

“I never did because I told him that I wanted to wait. That was one of the only things he actually did respect, but I know for a fact that he's probably cheated on me multiple times because of it, but I just ignored it.” You replied while being completely honest.

“Uh, princess? Don't you think you should have told me that? Fuck did I…? Shit. I would have made it a lot more special if I would have known. I would have had candles and…”

“Stop it. It was perfect. Everything was perfect.” You cut him off as you kissed him and tried to reassure him.

“I waited for the right person who I knew for a fact was going to treat me right.”

[arminsumi]

can i get an eager, inexperienced gojo? he is probably so silly and loving during sexy time but he still acts like a horndog, not sure where to touch, kinda nerv but tryna cover it up bc he’s the strongest sorcerer, ofc he’s been with so many ladies before!!!! (he hasn’t but he doesn’t want YOU to know that)

love your works as always stay safe💗💗💗

AIN'T NEVER DID THIS BEFORE, NO.

𝐆. 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 — 五条悟

NOTE: this made me think of that j. cole song so i looped it while writing all 2.3k of this fic 🥴 i hope u like what i did!! mwaaa smooches!! hope ur well &lt;3

🔞 mdni / 18+ content

SUMMARY — Gojo's saved up his virginity ever since he met you, savoring every wet dream through the years until he finally got the real thing in a hotel room in Okinawa.

WARNINGS — fem reader, n.sfw content, profanity, pre-established relationship

SMUT WARNINGS — virginity loss, light dirty talk, nicknames (good girl, sweet girl, daddy), Gojo's so nervous and inexperienced wheee😩💗, protected sex/condoms used, multiple rounds (2), kitty eating, giving him head, fluffy ending scene, lmk if i have missed smth and pls overlook errors i'm slepy asf it's 2am

Wordcount ≈ 2.3k

Playme ♪ wet dreamz

🍒 𝐉𝐚𝐲 — サクランボ ⋅ 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 !

You can’t miss the way his Addam’s apple shifts up and down when he swallows, or the way he gawks when you wiggle out of your clothes and toss them off the side of the hotel bed.

Where are my hands supposed to go?

He’s thinking that while haphazardly squeezing a large handful of your hips and hotly kissing your neck.

This has been his long-anticipated dream come true… see, Gojo Satoru met you in high school. And the first thing he thought to himself was I want her to take my virginity. So, he had promised himself that one day, when he was older, he was gonna give it to you.

All his cheeky flirting and dirty jokes got him here, in this room of some dreadfully expensive hotel in Okinawa. Yes, he’s cheesy, as cheesy as he was when he used to lean over his desk during high school to whisper dumb pickup lines into your ear; he requested rose petals and wine. He had the lights dimmed. He laid you down with kisses right on top of those strewn petals.

Crazed, feverish, eager, overwhelmed; he was bursting with a bunch of feelings – predominantly horniness. He’s always had that horny twang about him, he was unashamed about it around you – it’s what got you hot for him in the first place, the fact that he was so bold with his dirty jokes and naughty hints.

But now he’s struggling to find his words. Now that smart mouth is sparsely throwing out witty remarks. Now he was heavily relying on comedy to ease his nervousness and mask his inexperienced movements.

He let you roll on top and savored each kiss that you pressed down his chest – heaving, he was heaving and hot already and all the two of you had done so far was romantic French kissing and tentative touches across each other’s bare skin.

The heat of your flushed cheeks seared his lower abdomen.

How low is she gonna go – oh my god what do I do – play it cool – oh my god is she actually – wow this is really happening.

Such a mess of goofy thoughts passed through his mind when you pressed a testing kiss to his glistening cockhead. Giving the slit a lick made his shoulders scrunch up, and his voice shook a bit, “Shit, baby, you don’t have to do that if you don’t w – want to… oh fuck…”

“But I’ve wanted to suck it so bad, I’ve thought about it so much.” You batted your eyes at him.

His stomach flipped.

“O-okay… ” he breathed. In the back of his mind, he was self-conscious about sounding like a virgin… because he totally was. And he wasn’t masking it very well when you started kissing and licking on his cock.

Feling your tongue swirl circles around his bulbous head, then swiping the underside, nearly made him bust right there. It took every bit of this strong boy’s strength to hold it in. And there was a lot to hold in.

“Oh that’s so fucking good.” He moaned.

You lowered your lips down his slickened cock, the warmth and texture of it delighting your tongue. Taking in his scent, his taste, his sounds – when you hollowed out your cheeks and suctioned your lips around him, he let out an uneasy moan. He was really gonna bust right there in your mouth if he didn’t tell you to ease up.

“B-baby, you’re so good at that – but – but fuckkk – slow down f’me…” he pleaded, big hand coming to the back of your head as you slid off his cock – that also almost made him bust. Oh god, you unknowingly edged him. Maybe you knew that, because you giggled at the way his cock jumped and visibly twitched after popping your lips off of it.

“Sorry, you good?” you asked him sweetly. He looked at you through lust-glazed eyes, his lower lip glistening with a bit of drool.

“ ‘m okay – fuck come here and get on your back. ‘Wanna do that to you too.” He commanded you, eagerly shuffling positions.

He lowered his face between your legs, marvelling at the shiny wet sheen smeared across your inner thigh. A thin web of juice connected from your hole.

“Sorry, I know it’s rude to stare.” He chuckled, joking to lighten his nerves. But earning a laugh from you made his heart flutter before he dove right into it – now here’s where you realized something.

He was inexperienced. Totally. Sweetly so. His tongue flicked and darted around, swiping along your slit, gathering your juices like he was thirsty. The way he licked you up felt like he was some college boy giving his crush head in a lucid dream.

But if there’s one thing you know about Gojo Satoru, it’s that he can do anything he tries. You started out giggling and squirming on his face, and ended up squealing his name and arching your back. Switching between suckling at your clit and lapping at your folds and slipping his buttery tongue into your hole – he was having fun figuring it out.

And my god, he had the biggest, smuggest, most smackable grin on his face when he made you cum.

“W-wipe that grin off your face.” You panted, half-dazed from your orgasm.

His grin only grew wider. Now he was feeling a bit cocky, a little high on a sugar rush of confidence because he just made the girl of his dreams cum from a little amateur tongue-fucking.

“You musta really wanted it bad, huh?” he teased, crawling up to meet your face and pressing a few wet, sloppy kisses to your awaiting lips. You could taste yourself, and he was conscious of that – and it made him almost bust on your tummy. You felt his cock jumping and twitching and throbbing against your skin.

“Don’t get all smug now…” you muttered.

His plumped, flushed lips hovered over your face. “Thanks for the meal.” He whispered jokingly, wiping your juice off his cheek with his thumb and suckling it off.

“Hahaha what!” you broke out laughing. “You’re ridiculous!”

He ran his tongue over his lips to tease you, “Tasted better than in my dreams.”

Now that made you flush hotter underneath him. Because for some reason, it hadn’t occurred to you that he had wet dreams of you. But he did. And he was too embarrassed to admit the number – it was big. He dreamed of you a lot. Especially taking you from the back… so naturally

“Turn around f’me, please?” he asked, “I wanna see you from the back.”

Your lack of hesitation to switch positions for him made his heart thump.

“Good girl…” he muttered under his breath, unsure of how you’d take the nickname. But hearing your giggly hum and seeing your hips wiggle up to his pelvis reassured him that you liked it.

So he engulfed you from behind, “You like that?” he whispered into your ear, big hand smoothing over the curves of your body to get a good feel of it. “Want me to call you a good girl?”

You nodded into the plush pillow, “Yes please. I like it.” You mumbled into the fabric.

“Can’t hear you, speak up.” He smiled against the shell of your ear teasingly. “Daddy’s hard of hearing.” He joked.

You rolled your eyes at his dumb goofiness. For some reason you thought it would switch off in the bedroom, but no – he was just as much as a dumb good in and out of bed.

“ ‘call me your good girl, please. I like it.”

His cock twitched. He’d started rubbing and pressing his cock into you from the back. The way your thighs and plush little pussy hugged him was better than any dream – lucid or not. And he’s had a lot of lucid wet dreams of you. Of this, specifically; taking you from behind. In his dreams, he’s pounding into you so good that you cream and cream and cream all over him. He just hopes he can actually achieve that in reality.

When he lowers his hands and fists his cock a bit before running the head between your folds, a pang of nervousness strikes his chest. That feeling came over him – that realization that oh, I’m gonna have my first time.

“So pretty…” he compliments, one hand soothingly caressing around your pussy.

To you, it almost feels like he might have done this before – you’re not sure – with the way he lightly smacks his cock on your hole, and the way he tests your smallness by slipping his tip in and out, you think he’s probably got at least a bit of experience under his belt.

But no. No, not at all. Not even a little bit. In fact, before you, he only kissed two people – and the first didn’t count to him because he hated it, and the second also didn’t count apparently because he was just practicing with Suguru in anticipation of kissing you one day.

“Fuck me…” he hissed through his gritted teeth when he finally sunk more than his tip through your hole.

“Fucking didn’t expect it to feel this good…” he thought out loud. “Might bust right here… fuck.” He blurted, then proceeded to boyishly blush.

Little hole squeezing on his virgin cock, hips wiggling back to meet his pelvis and take him deeper, you pawed behind you to feel him. “Baby, I-I gotta tell you something.” He begins embarrassedly, the nervous twang in his voice is so unfamiliar that you look back at him. “I’ve never done this before…” after he said that he sucked in a breath through his teeth at the feeling of your hole tightening and untightening.

You blink at him, and he’s worried for a split second before you smile sheepishly and tell him that he’s your first, too. Well, that little fun fact is what made him snap his hips against your ass and start fucking into you like he was some sort of crazed animal. He felt dizzied with the rush of pleasure, so stirred by the feeling of your pussy sucking his cock – there was no comparable thing in the world to him right then. He was definitely gonna become a sex-crazed fiend after this night, he thought. Absolutely. How could he not?

“S’toruuu – right there right there!” you cried out his name with such a pretty, strained voice that it made him want to tell you he loves you.

“Here? You like it here?” he hit that spot harder and harder, the squelching sound so dirty that you almost felt ashamed for a second. “My good girl gonna cum like this? Yeah? F-fuck t-t-tell me when you’re close ‘cause I’m close – really fucking close – fuck fuck fuck ahhh ‘gonna cum!”

He’s driving into that sweet spot while he cums, spilling a warm creamy mess into the condom – completely falling to pieces. Gojo’s always been inclined to obsessing over things, and he knows right then – when he cums with your quivering pussy sucking him in – that he’s gonna be obsessing over sex with you after this.

“Keep goinggg ‘m gonna cum too, please!” you whimpered from underneath him. He heard you, he was attentive even though he was panting and dazed. His thrusts got sloppy and he weighted on your body more heavily, you could feel his heartbeat.

“Good girl – g-good girl, rub your pretty clit. Want me to do it for you? M’kay sweet thing, lemme get you there – ah yeah? That feel good? You like daddy’s fingers toying with this pretty pussy? Oh fuck you’re gonna cum aren’t you?” he breathed all that into your ear and it absolutely destroyed you, especially with how those intense blue eyes piercingly stared down at you from behind.

“Get that relief, pretty girl – cum all over me. Fuck, there we go – oh wow…” he hit another sweet spot, feeling you gush and writhe under his imposing frame got him close again. “Fuck, baby – just a second, j-just a second ‘m gonna get ‘nother condom, n-need to fucking cum in that pussy again.” He pulled out quick, fingers struggling to free his cock of his already filled lil’ rubber. Squeezing into another one was one of the fastest yet most frustrating things he’s done in a while – oh, you just know that he’s gonna ditch the condoms as soon as you give him the green light to do so. Patience, he thought. He’s gonna need patience and a lot of rubbers.

“Ah fuck me! Satoru!” you arched your back when he re-entered.

“ ‘m gonna cum again, baby – fuck – s-sorry is it too much?” he breathed into your neck. Sweat beaded down his torso, down his thighs – both your bodies pricked with just enough sweat to make it erotically uncomfortable.

You barely managed to tell him that it wasn’t too much because of the way he was sloppily hitting his cockhead into your pussy. Feverish, dazed, pussy-drunk and love-drunk, you felt his hot lips nibbling at your shoulder, then he unexpectedly sank his teeth into your skin. It wasn’t sore, but those canines were a bit sharp.

Muffled moans on your skin sent a shiver down your back, one that travelled to your ass and thighs.

Rolling off to the side, panting and laying exhausted and unmoving.

“Fuck.” He muttered as if to say that was mind-blowing.

“Fuck.” You agreed.

“And ya didn’t even tell me you were a virgin!”

“You didn’t tell me, either!” you giggled, rolling into his embrace.

“But it’s hot if the girl is a virgin!”

You laughed with him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.

He stayed silent for a little while, pulling you closer and caressing your shoulder. The two of you stared up at the ceiling.

“It’s embarrassing.” He admitted. “There was a time I wanted to lose my virginity just so that when I finally got to you, I’d be able to please you better. But I’m glad I waited…”

“Mmm really?” you hummed, he felt your smile print on his chest.

“…yeah.” You could hear his little smile in his voice. “I’m glad I gave it to you.”

[kazutora-kurokawa]

Simon Says, Fuck Me

♡ NSFW, fem reader, smartass!reader, oral->male receiving (more like face fucking lol), spitting in someone's mouth without warning, established relationship, reader can't stop interrupting Baji but Baji likes that about her, Baji is just straight up nasty in this one y'all ♡

Characters: Just Baji (my little arsonist)

note: this lovely little idea was given to me by my equally lovely moot @i-literally-cant-with-this

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

You were just laying on your bed relaxing. Your thumb lazily swiped across your phone screen as you scrolled through social media, when all of a sudden your boyfriend ran through the door, out of breath and panting.

"What the hell? Are you good?"

He looked at you and took in a deep breath before speaking.

"Yeah I'm fine! The real question is, do you wanna play Simon Says?"

"Really Kei? That's why you came rushing in here, do I look like I feel like playing?"

"Pretty please y/n? With black cats wearing cute hats on top?"

The look on your boyfriend's face was just too cute to resist. The way his little fangs poked out while he pouted was the kicker, you had no choice but to agree.

"Okay fine! Just out of curiosity, what do I get if I win?"

"Whatever you want. Name it and it's yours!"

"Okay, I can get down with that."

"But if I win-"

"Oh God, why did I agree to this?"

"Babe shush, I'm not done. If I win, I get to tie you up tonight~"

"Absolutely not."

"Too late! You already agreed, now lemme explain the rules to you doll. First off, I'm Simon-"

"No really? I thought you were Edward?"

"Y/nnn!"

"Okay I'm sorry, please continue."

"Okay so I'm Simon, I'm going to tell you what to do-"

"Yeah no shit, that's how the game goes."

Baji loved you wholeheartedly, but sometimes he just wanted to choke the hell out of you because why are you such a smartass? Nevertheless he continued with the rules.

"Yeah but there's a difference. When I tell you to do something, you have to do it. If you don't, then you automatically lose and I win. Got it?"

"So if I don't do everything you say then I lose? That sounds so unfair."

"If you're too much of a wimp to play then we don't have to."

"A wimp? You're tryna egg me on to play aren't you?"

"Is it working?"

"Unfortunately yes, let's just start the game please."

Baji mentally highfived himself before thinking about all the things he could ask you to do, he decided to start off slow and simple though.

"Simon says, touch your nose."

You tapped your finger on the tip of your nose, trying not to giggle at how serious he looked right now.

"Simon says, don't talk for the rest of the game."

You took your hand and made a zipping motion across your lips, signalling silence.

"Simon says, get on your knees."

You were about to say something before you realized that if you talked you would lose, so you once again reluctantly listened to your boyfriend and slid off the bed to get on your knees.

"Simon says, open your pretty little mouth~"

You looked at him as if to say "really?" before opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. He walked over to you, admiring the irritated look on your face before leaning down and dropping a glob of spit in your mouth. You held back a gag as you felt his spit hit the back of your throat and promised yourself that you'd punch the shit out of him for catching you off guard like that.

"Good job angel! I really thought you were gonna fold on that one, guess I have to try a little harder."

He looked at you with a smirk that just told you how fucking cocky he is and how confident he was that you were gonna lose. His hands latched onto his pants, undoing them and whipping out his thick cock. You felt choked up just at the thought of him in your mouth right now, but you couldn't help but find how he was acting extremely attractive. The way he could take control of you so quickly made you melt and he knew that. He slapped the tip of his dick on your outstretched tongue, lining it up perfectly with your throat. His hands cupped your face before he gave you another command.

"Simon says, don't gag."

It was evident he wanted you to gag and lose the game by the way he rammed into your mouth, yet you didn't falter. Not when his calloused hands were gripping your face a little too tightly, not when he grabbed fistfuls of your hair, not even when tears threatened to form in your eyes.

"Look at that, you're taking me so good darling. You might just win the game."

He groaned as your throat clenched around him, and between a string of praises and curses he uttered one more command.

"Simon says, make me cum ♡"

If anything it was less of a command and more of a statement considering that he was about to cum anyway. You dug your nails into your thighs as you fought the urge to grab at him. Taking deep breaths as he shot his load down your throat, desperately trying to stay quiet. His grip on your face softened and he pulled out of your mouth. A mix of satisfaction and disappointment could be seen on his face.

"Well darling, I guess you win. What do you want as your prize?"

"I have a few ideas~"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, but first I wanna clean my face off."

He looked down at your messy face, and the grin he had only got bigger as he saw how you were covered in drool and some of his cum.

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea."

He helped you up off the floor and watched as you started walking to the bathroom before you suddenly stopped in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Hey Kei, one more thing."

"What?"

"Remind me to never play a game with you ever again."

He chuckled as you walked out, knowing that no matter how many times you say that, he'd rope you into playing another game.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Taglist

@arlerts-angel @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katshimizuu @happy-trenchcoated-impala @kazubarbie @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies

[karmaajr]

chat gonna rant abt smth my mum said DONT MIND THIS FRFR >:3

okay so basically we're leaving this resort to stay at a relatives for a while, you get me? so I gotta go pack my stuff up again and usually, im like.. so fucking shit when it comes to doing literally like, anything productive- 💀

very much so pisses off everybody the way I procasinate and take a billion breaks/get distracted by smth else lmao :3

and so today was like.. just as bad ig but mum wasn't really paying attention after yelling at me AGAIN lol (it's fine dw, im just a bad kid and was being irritating/pisstaking (she had a headache) by not shutting up again LMAO 😭😭)

but like, I did manage to finish my packing up so yay!!! win!! ^^ (it was fucking exhausting.)

sister didn't do jackshit though (and mum was tired because of us so she didnt rlly do much), so room still looked a fucking train wreck but my stuff was all done, u get me?

anyways, ENOUGH CONTEXT!!!! like 20 minutes ago, mum gets off her phone then up from the chair she's sitting on and goes to plug her phone in my charger BUT GUESS WHAT YALL?? HOMEGIRL PACKED THAT SHIT UP FRFR ✌️😙

and so in jokey way, she's like "damn really? of all the things you could've packed, the only thing you packed was the charger? typical *irl name*, always tryna ruin my day"

and shes saying this while shaking her head and trying to find the charger she nicked off my dad (while murming some random curses*)

*curses not in the sense of swearing but in the sense of GENUINLEY cursing somebody?? like wishing bad upon somebody ykwim? :D

and I go along with bit (ofcofc) and go "ACTUALLY, I'll have you know that I packed everything!!" and saying it slightly proudly because lol, again, that shit was exhaustingg :3

also I'm just really bad at everything so the fact that I did something somewhat uccessfully was literally GREAT??? 😭😭

and she kisses her teeth, shakes her head and says "yeah sure, I know you"

...

oh so, you "know" me huh?

what's my favourite colour?

my favourite drink?

my favourite subject?

why don't you name a few of my friends? or maybe a song I like? (oh wait, you can't because you don't even know I listen to music)

you know what? ik you can't answer any of those questions but guess what? ima do things that I know for sure I've told you, quick fire innit? you should be able to? I'm your child right.. you listen to what i tell you right? amma you care about what I have to say right???? right???

fuck

describe to me the hallucinations I had last year

nothing hard, i know I told you about them, I've tried to at least several times. I still remember the way you rolled your eyes and mouthed "crazy" while still looking at that fucking phone screen oh my god

amma can't I just be important to you? please? ik works important and ik you do a lot for us but please??? you said be a good girl and you won't kill yourself, and i tried okay??? im a bad child and I'm sorry and I'm sorry and I'm sorry please amma just dont leave me, don't stop being my mother

don't leave me with him

amma please

amma???? amma please

[danaduchy]

all texts from Kerry

Found Henry Holy shit, Henry's on board. Way to go! Check outta rehab of his own free will… thru the window, hehe. Some nurse tried to stop us - at first I thought she wanted an autograph, but she didnt even recognize me. Tell you the rest later How's it going with Nancy? S'all under control That's what I like to hear

Samurai's back together What about Johnny? He amped for this gig or meh? * As amped as he's ever been. Must be important to him cuz otherwise I wouldnt be forced to take this stupid pseudoendotrizine * Hard to say. You know how he is Well I'm amped as fuck, if anyone's wonderin. It'll be fuckin shimra - just gotta remember not to get too wasted before. Old habits die hard, haha

Waiting for you Kerry? Where are you? On the way. Chill. Gotta change

What's up, V? Too bad you split so quick after the concert - we didn't even get a chance to chat I barely know anything about you, except you've got a shit-ton goin on inside You're the one who left early That so? Hm, maybe. Anyway, it was fuckin nova, wasn't it? Shoulda recorded it for you cause you didn't catch anything thru Johnny

Hey! Heey. So I cant stop thinkin about our little adventure. FUCKIN AWESOME. Thats how you live life. ON THE EDGE :> * Who doesnt like explosions and races right? :) Lemme know if the rest of your plan worked out Sure, I'll text or call ;) If I can't convince you to blow up anythin else, then at least we can go for a drink. Take care! * Egh, day just like any other. Hope it helped you tho Pff, sound more nonchalant than a karaoke star from kabuki ;) I'll be in touch

Coffee at Caliente Know what? I'm glad we got a chance to talk over coffee. You're a straight shooter, V. Nothing like the ass-kissers I'm usually surrounded by. It's good we did what we did, right? Blowing that van to bits? Cuz I been thinking… * To be honest, got no clue if anything good will come of it. I agreed cuz you paid me. Honest as ever, huh? Means I was right about you. Appreciate that, V. I really do. Don't ever change. * It was the right thing to do. And you've got nitro running through your veins. Don't you ever let yourself think otherwise! Nitro in my veins? Yeah, and a fuse sticking out of my ass. Least that's what I felt back then. Was worth it, though - slept like a fucking baby for the first time in ages. Talk to you later. Thanks again!

Reward Hey, forgot to send the eddies before, but should hit your account any sec. PREEM WORK :>

Where are you? Well, where are you? At this rate I'm gonna be a fuckin skeleton by the time you get here.. Move your ass or forget about this whole thing Dunno where you are or what you're up to, but I'm a busy fuckin man. Forget about it - don't have time for this shit Srsly, V? Ditched me with the badges and split? Shitty move. We're fuckin THROUGH Where the fuck are you? Grrr doesnt matter. I'm checkin out, goin home. Call ya if somethin comes up

answer yr phone!!! Hey, V. Got a job for you. Corner of Grey and Mallagra. Be there first thing in the morning, we'll talk it over. I'm fucking livid, V! Those Us Cracks bitches clearly didn't get the hint. Instead of cancelling after we blew up their truck, they just moved their show to another date! Meet me at Riot ASAP. We'll deal with them differently this time. The Us Skanks still wanna fuck me over and record the cover, V! On top of that, their lawyers won't stop yappin'. We really need to talk. I'm at Dark Matter right now. Come 'round the back, the bouncers will let you in. It's easier to reach my dead grandma than you, V! Anyway, Us Cracks are done, for real this time. We should celebrate! Stop by Dark Matter. Use the back entrance.

What's up? Hey, hows it going? Ownin the streets of NC? * More like tryna survive. Let's just say the city and I are even Sweet. What's that? What's up with me? Nice of you to ask. Hammerin out some sick tunes. Ok, more like trying to hammer out. Keep your fingers crossed * Hey hey, you could say that. Lotta stuffs been happenin - even without you! :O Yeah yeah, whatever! I'm stringin together some fresh tunes… OK, more like thinking about some fresh tunes. Keep your fingers crossed

Missed holocall! V! Whatever you're doing right now - drop it and come see me at the Marina. Pier four.

Scratch that! Spoke too soon Slight change of plans - waitin on an important delivery and the fuckin gonk's late. Be at the marina at 7pm!

Kova-chek this out :D Kovachek went ballistic when he found out the yacht went up in smoke! Even went back on those pills that turn him into you know, whatever the opposite of a cyberpsycho is. More goo than a man haha this is greaaaaat! * Ouch. Musta sunk a lotta eddies into that float! :P Speakin of dickheads tho - turns out he stashed a ton of drugs on board! Like, two yachts' worth. And we sent aaaall of that to the bottom of the sea :D Bay's full of fish high off their fins now! * Literally zero living organisms in that bay, Ker. Yeah duh they they took their happy fishy asses down to the spaceport and went to la la land. Anyway tellin ya whenever I'm down, I think about our seaventure and it's like insta good feels :* * Wow. What now? Feel like blowing more of his shit up. Think he's got a luxury crib somewhere in the Rockies… Something to think about… :P FUCK NO! I GOT IT! We make a Kovachek voodoo doll! Can't wait to stab that prick right in the dick :D * I really don't care about that dick, Kerry. Fine OK. As long as you care about MY dick, that is :P

Hey :* Heeey, how's it hanging? Everything all right? I'll just come right out and say it - I miss you. Just a little bit though ;) You coming by anytime soon? * Miss you too, if you can believe that. See? We're tuned to the same frequency. I'll try to swing by sometime. Preem. I'll be waiting! * Hey! Well well, look who's suddenly spilling their guts out :P Dunno when I can drop by though :/ Sad face :( But fine - I know the world doesn't revolve around me. It sucks, but that's the way it is. Take care! * Been thinking about you… Thinking about you too. You're like some chorus to this incredible song that's been stuck in my head lately. On loop :) * What's new? Still conquering the world with music? Planning to! :) don't really know if there's anything left to conquer though. You're already mine, right? (I know, I knooooow, it's cringe. But I couldn't hold myself back!) Latest song I wrote - read it and weep. Wrote it while thinking of you: "Where you whisper, open up your heart / Reveal the place where I once had a heart" Whaddaya think? * I like it. It's gentle, but still has a bite. And knowing you, probably has multiple meanings ;) Exactly! I knew you'd get it :*** * Hmm, you were thinking about me when you wrote that? Dunno if that's good or bad :< it's up to you - that's the whole point! :* * Got a bunch of things on my plate right now. Times are tough. Oh, OK, cool. Do what you gotta do. We'll talk later, no prob.

Serious business Check it out, V. Got this email from a lifelong fan. It's serious. Gotta write her back. Dear Mr. Eurodyne, the day we both have been waiting for is finally upon us! I got rid of my husband, my house and all the other remnants of my former life. Now, I'm truly ready to give you my heart and all my other organs, should you desire them. You are the Sun and I am the Moon - I live to bask in your radiant brilliance. I love you, Mr. Eurodyne, and eagerly anticipate the time we'll finally be together. We will meet soon - I'm sure you know exactly where." She also sent me a gift card to a junk shop in Providence, wherever the fuck that is. It's clear she's nuts, just not sure if it's the murder-suicide variety. She writes me same day every year, like clockwork. What if she dissolved her man in a vat of acid, burned down her house and now she's sharpening her sickle cuz I'm next!? What are we gonna do, V??? * You really worried about her? More importantly: Kerry Eurodyne actually reads fan mail? Adorable. Yeah, yeah, Kovachek usually deals with all that shit. Even signs photos and sends them to the fans. But the fucker always forwards stuff from this crazy broad. Gets his rocks off fuckin with my blood pressure. Anyway, thought you might get a kick out if it. Seriously though, I should probably do something. Don't want her to knock on my bedroom door a year from now. * What, your first psycho groupie? Unbelievable :D Don't worry about it. We'll deal with her. Fuckin preem. What should I do, V? Ideas?? * Call the Providence PD. Let them scare her off? Or better yet, put her in a straitjacket? Boooring! 'Sides, cops mean lawyers and I hate dealing with them even more than I hate Kovachek's guts. No worries, I'll think of something else.You're in charge here. * Why not have a bit of fun? Write her back, give her Kovachek's address and say you'll be waiting for her there exactly one year from now :P Hahahaha you beautiful fucking GENIUS! Think I'll do exactly that. He'll shit himself when he sees her! We'll set up a camera and film it, too. Can't wait!Not worth your time. * She probably thinks she's pregnant with Lizzy Wizzy's love child, too. Check if the store has a netpage, see if they ship to NC and get yourself something nice! Smart! I'll see if they have anything worth my while. Get myself a studded choker. Or one of them Russian stacky doll-in-a-doll-in-a-doll things. Thanks, V! Later

Truth or Dare! I'm boooooooored, V. Let's play Truth or Dare! :D * Really don't have time for this, Ker. Cmon, don't be like that. TRUTH or DARE??? * Fuck it. Dare. OK, here it goes. Hope I got your full attention! OKOK here's your dare: "Survive one year with a rockstar" :D * Cheeky ;) Guess I can give it a try ;) * Don't know if I have time for that, Kerry. * Truth! Got nothing to hide. Here it goes: "After a little good morning sex, what I really want is…" * Coffee and cigarettes. Glass of whiskey if I need a little hair of the dog…

* Scrambled eggs. Clearly.

Puzzle by yrs truly V! Made one of them picture riddles for you, V! Wanna see it? :D Fuck yeah you do! Heeeere goes! …69 <3 * Not right now, Kerry. Got some other things on my mind… No worries. Listen, we all have days like this. Thinking of you here with my little puzzle, hope that helps :* * Really, Ker? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Yeah, yeah, just warming up! Okay, get ready for round two! |$| >< #o.O# ;( * Kerry slapped the shit out of Kovachek! * Rockstars are the best spankers! Sorry, all you get is a kiss :* * My man is shit at puzzles :* You got it, you shrewd beast :D Congrats! Your reward - a Kerry Eurodyne sextape! Now all that's left is to shoot it :P I'll send you something sweet <3

Personality test You're not gonna believe this, V. I took one of those personality tests and apparently, I'm a NARCISSIST! Can you believe that shit?? * You, a narcissist? That can't be right. I know, right? Good thing you're smart about these things. You're so sweet, babe :* * Might be some truth to it if I'm REAL honest :) You do… tend to be an arrogant snob. Not to mention your ego's the size of a small planet :* Haha took the test again and now it says I'm a sociopath! Told you it's all bullshit! Told you I'm not a narcissist! Honestly you should listen to me, I'm smarter than whatever "scientist" came up with this shit!

Ah V fuuuck worlds biggest hangover, shakes and willies. Need a kind soul to tell me I'll come out the other side OK :-/ my age be damned ;-| * Textin ya from Dtown, 'hood's the very embodiment of shakes and willies * Got a gig, mebbe not worlds biggest but mondo anyway. This is me needin assurance I'll come out the other end in 1 piece Ever in the thick of shit, eh? It's where your&Johnny's minds meet, both uber vibe on it. JS better be fuckin happy - is he? * Need better candy to pop at raves, physio venting helps, mutes nerves, you'll stride strong, won't bother us workin peeps! Srsly V - soundin like you need time off, ad hoc vacay. U know, throw the monkey off your back, dunno, air your skull sponge. * Could be, just not now Handlin ginormous gig in Dogtown. Elbow deep in it, serious as a heart attack. * That an invite….? ;> Dunno, maybe…? My door's wiiiiiiide open, always ;> * Got this biz I gotta tend to first, one way or another… Oh ok mystery man - you do you. gotta say, findin this diss kinda titillating. Is it the masochist in me? tension's… ooooh, got my mouth watering. * Right, I know. One of these days - surprise! You'll see, be at your front door. Only if I'm home, obvi. You're textin a raucous, go-get-'em busy man… * OOO-K. So get lost, find a release. * Hmm, you're temptin me to call. Will do, given time. Do do do, plz. I'll be waitin <3

OK then I'll play support - we're all gonna all right, better'n all right - golden Which is DEF NOT me now - after a fuckin weird-ass 48 hrs, and this is me talkin…! just straaange… like unbelievably so Ahem, got stories to tell, solid gold * well, yeah, might find it a lil hard to believe… welp, hope you're whole and fine and happy. If you are, suck it. Dissin somebody like this - not nova, choom, supra unpreem * OK spill So dig this - meet-up w the enemy, competing publishing bitchez. Top dogz, bubbly flowin, rails vanishing up noses - all in back of a stretch cuz they out to impress my ass with their asses. Kinda sad, really. Gotta give 'em an e for effort, tho - they say: choom, got a mountain o' eddies for ya. N I say, really - where from? N they say, our mountain's a volcano, it'll spew scratch like lava… Hm i say, how's that? N they say, Zetatech product placement - next tour, choom so I says let's go - Zetatech now! they practically jizz. Zetatech HQ I get out, drop my pants and moon eveybody lookin out the windows of the building while I give the bitchez in the limo the finger at the same time. N i called Delamain.\nDel and me, we rollin, talkin anti-iperialism - any sense in it given the state of the world? Know what? we actually come to a conclusion - that nuthin makes sense anymore. So we go on rollin, and go on talkin and drinnk myself into grief. 18 hours later Del dropped me by my crib. He wished me GOOD LUCK IN THIS WORLD. choom was deep depressed, so much so he gave me a discount * Could've happened to Kerry and Kerry alone, that Plain to see, admit it, I just might be the king of NC's nightlife * vive le roi! and may the consort bask in his light ;> xoxo * hm, yeah, no titles more important than that… BETTER FUCKIN BELIEVE IT. * Oooh could go for a convo about life's futility. But DT takes no prisoners forgives no mistakes - need to focus. salty! somebody's in a m0000d * well, just don't see your parties and hangovers as overly important to me just now, if ever * yeah, sorry, just this gig, shitstorm, tense, lots to handle OK I get it, all crystal. Need a lil cheerin up or just leave you the fuck alone? * may be better off just leavin me alone, I'll ping you later, OK? say no more, luv ya and dreamin daily about your sweet tush <3 Eurodyne out * cheerin up, plz :) OK catch: How ya get a bass player to have that gleam in his eye? Shine a flashlight in his ear. That help any? * yup, did wonders :D thx raise you on the holo later, 'kay? * hm, not great, but I won't hold it against you. cute of you to try ok, so here's somethin to keep you warm at night in the meantime, you sweet precious thing <3

You doing anything? Yo, why haven't you shot me a message or nothin? I'm sitting over here like a dumbass waitin for my phone to start buzzin… * Sorry, Ker! You know how it is, life and shit… I know I know, didn't mean to be a total prick * I was just about to text you! Uh huh… suuuure… * You coulda shot me one too, y'know :P The fuck do you think I'm doin right now?!? So listen, how busy are ya? Gotta admit, I'm gettin the itch real bad. Like, a good itch, to see you I mean. * Sounds great! My megabuilding pad maybe? A megabuilding, huh? I mean, sure, guess that'll work… * Then I'll be waitin for ya at my Northside apartment :) Preem. Then I'll get there when I get there. * Let's meet up in Japantown. Just a hop and a skip for you ;) Perfect! * Can you drive over to the Glen? Love to see you too <3 I can do whatever the fuck I want. * Whaddaya say to a little date downtown? My Corpo Plaza place? Ohhh baby, my ass is already out the door! * I'm free! Wanna swing by Dogtown? You outta your mind? No fucking way! Either we meet in NC proper or I ain't goin out. Don't forget to tidy up a bit, yeah? ;)

Goooood morning, Night City! And you, V! Listen, I'm bored outta my mind. Wanna be bored together at least? You asleep? :P Oh, what's that? You want me to come over? Sure! You're one hot piece of ass, you know that right? You were in my dream last night. A good one. Don't worry, I ain't mad at dream V or nothin - in fact I wanna meet up! I hit a creative block, need some inspiration. I need you. I'm coming over. * Sounds good :) Megabuilding apartment then. Hope you remember which one's mine! On my way! * Genius idea from a genius himself. I'll be waitin for ya in Northside <3 Guess this means I have to change outta my bathrobe. The sacrifices we make! * Japantown. Now. :P Preem! Callin a Delamain right now! * Missed you too. Come to the Glen :) * Sounds like it's time for a trip downtown. My Corpo Plaza pad to be exact * Swing by Dogtown, I'll show you my fixer-upper :P Over my cold, dead, bullet-riddled body! The fuck you even doing there?! Get back to civilization, V! * haha XD so, right now's not good, but don't worry - I'll be thinkin of ya ;) Oh so that's how you wanna play this… nah, just messin, V. wink, wink. I'll catch ya another time!

I like you, V. Thought I owed you a little reminder of that. And hey, not to impose or nothin, but if you wanna spend some more time together, don't be such a coward about it, y'know? Hit me up!! * I like you too, Kerry. I'll let ya know :) Ain't we an adorable fuckin pair of sweethearts! Ha! * No imposing. I'd love to see you again soon too ;) Careful with those boundaries now, V. Let em down too far and I might just move right in! * Course! Soon as I find some time, you'll be the first to know! You honor me, sir! Hang tough out there, V. And remember - don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Hey, Ker! Life's been feelin a lil empty without ya… wanna meet up? So, wanna see me again? Fuck yeah! Your place ok? Heeey! I do, I do! Just… can't right now. Schedule's crammed. But I'll be in touch real soon!

I fucking love surprises! Yo, V, this is a nice ride! Seems like whenever you're on my mind all I can think about is rides ;) * Yeah I know ;) * I love surprising you :) As crazy as my life is, without you it'd be boring as hell <3 Thanks for the flowers! Thank christ they're artificial cuz I'm allergic to pollen. Sneezing, goopy eyes, the whole fuckin thing. Also… "Feedback"? What? Did we hook up at one of my concerts? Honestly I can't remember. * Totally. Speaker feedback fused our audio systems somehow. Made the sex interesting at least. Whaaa, well whatever, I don't need the whole sciency mumbo jumbo :D * You kiddin? How could you forget! Man, what the fuck was I on that night…

Won't see me for a while Gonna need to vanish for a while maybe a month or so. Hope you didn't have any romantic escapades planned and all set up :P Nooo :( Who'm I gonna take to the N54 rave then? :((( * Shiiiit mean to say I'm gonna miss an N54 party? Wanted to surprise you… Real fucking shame :/ I know ;( We'll crash multiple raves when I'm back in town tho :) Promise! * Take someone else feel free but just this once. Long as you promise - no hand holdin' no indecent stuff no INTIMACY mental neither :P Oh please faithful's my middle name :* Fuck really wish you could make it Make it up to you 100%

Long time no see :] There's this merc I know and haven't seen for a while… oh yeah it's you! :D C'mon pick up gotta tell you how wasted me and Slavoy McAllister got at this N54 rave xD Think we might've burnt down half the studio… by accident ofc XDD Hey, V? Pick up, choom Still can't top you 'n' me as a wrecking crew ;) Fuck, you ok? Pick up dammit not funny V 13 missed calls from: Kerry Eurodyne

You ghosting me? Fuck, pick up! Really?! Can't even bother to send ONE word?! Just gonna pretend like nothin happened, huh? COWARD

[gloomysarchive]

♡︎ Alphabet Soup Series ♡︎

abc headcanons || miles42 x black gn!reader

M} — move

he’d take so long to initially ask you out, but he’d do it romantically when he finally plucks up the courage. it's been hard for him to get close to someone ever since his dad died, so you'd have to be patient. he didn't know what to get you as a token of his affection. flowers? what if you were allergic? candy? What if you didn't like candy? So he went with something simple, something he did best; he gifted you a portrait he made of you. he played it off all cool like "it ain't even my best work fr" "i can do better than that, yk?" basically trying to prepare himself if you turned him down.

╰╴he's genuinely surprised when you don't reject him. he didn't show it, but he was happy as hell.

I} — interests

he wants to know what you like. he'll check out anything you put him on to, really. movies, shows, artists, books, etc. he'll listen to you rant and ramble about your interests, and he'll nod along, hanging onto every word like it's the most important thing he's ever been told — and he genuinely feels that way. he'll keep tabs on what you like, and give you updates like "oh i heard it's getting a second season", "i think that's getting an adaption, you tryna see it when it comes out?"

╰╴ also, if he sees anything remotely related to your interests, he'll buy it. he hates not knowing what to give people, which is another reason why he pays close attention to what you're into. he keeps all types of merch in his cart so he'll never run out of gift ideas.

L} — love

it'd take even longer for him to finally say "i love you". those three lil words carry a lot of weight to him, and he can't just be throwing them around like it's nothing. he wants to make sure he can trust you, if you're actually his and not just playing with him. once he does say it, tho, he'd be dramatic about it.

╰╴"I need to talk to you rq," "ok... what's up?"

he'd stare at you, silently, studying you for a bit as he tries to build up the courage. he'd take your hands in his, holding them tenderly. he'd give them a gentle squeeze — then, he'd say it.

╰╴♡︎ “Eres tan preciosa para mí. Te quiero...”

E} — emotions

he doesn't like being vulnerable; it takes a while for him to open up to you, but he eventually does, piece by piece. he'd tell you what he stresses about or his other hopes and dreams. he plans to get you and his mama away from all the chaos of the city.

╰╴and he's there for you just as much as you are for him. He listens patiently when you're ranting or venting about something that's bothering you. he waits until you're done talking and tries his best to calm you down after you get worked up and give you advice. other than “i should beat that bitch ass”, he gives really good advice.

S} — sleep

he INSISTS he never sleeps 🙄 he's always up at night doing his vigilante work, protecting what he loves (his city, his mama, you, ofc) but whenever does get the chance to get some rest in, it'd be with you. he'd stop by your place during one of his patrols, just to check on you. y'all would talk for a bit, just enjoying each other's company. then you'd notice how low and hazy his eyes are, and how he's dragging his words a bit.

╰╴"i got shit to do, I can't be tryna go to bed n shit," "i'm not sayin' go to bed, you can take a lil hour nap..." after going back and forth for a while he'd finally give in, with reluctance, flopping onto your bed. he's out almost immediately, clutching you tight as if someone would take you from him while he's asleep.

bear w me y'all I haven't written in a lil bit LMAO

[cinamun]

Ooou sis! I'm working backwards yet again. I was trying to scroll/pick up where I last left off at but I got distracted at SPOILER ALERT...I REPEAT SPOILER ALERT (for those that are catching up too...please swiftly scroll...because Imma need to park here for a moment...

CAUSE NOT MY MR. BABY DADDY DOCTOR SIR...Nuh uh, her deflecting ass CANNOT be! I was trying to be a law obiding citizen, in theses here tumblr streets but I saw baby boo and got distracted (cause lawd knows his fine "I can fix that" ass is damn fine...you understand meeeee!). Standin in that office looking *bites knuckle* 😩Had to flip it in reverse cause Mercy's yellin ass is here *holds hand above head* and Imma need her to be here *holds hand at knee level*. NOT TODAY!

But also, while we're here...It never ceases to amaze me the way some think that therapy/healing is an overnight fix. GIRL HOW TF CAN YOU HEAL IF YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL YOURSELF THE DAMN TRUTH! Mercy, Ma'am, it took you all that damn time to pack this shit up (go through/deal with/live with/suppress/ignore it), it's gonna take you a good while to unpack. Girlie, that bag is so damn heavy, it's gonna take some years just to flip that MF over on it's back, so you can even begin to unzip it. Out here tryna read every MF body else but when it comes to yourself, it's *crickets*. Mercy, girl, I love you down (and Im giving you grace as I pack my ski mask and book my flight to San Sequoia...because WHOOOOOOO SHE THINK SHE TALKING TOOOOOOOO!?...

No but for real, all jokes aside, I'm looking forward to the day that she is ready and willing to do the work (and I'm looking forward to the twist & turns that you take us on to get there...because if we know anything we know the roads get topsy turvy round here!). Ya'll fasten your seatbelts and prepare for turbulence Lol. Switching gears a bit, I am glad that HoJay decided to put the babies in Daycare. That's a good choice (1) for the kids to be able to mix & mingle with more kiddos (2) for Hope to get reacquainted with "Hope" again & (3) so Mercy can finally give herself the time to serve herself for once too!

I may circle back at a later time when I've had enough rest to process other thoughts that's running in my mind. Til then, Imma be in the back corner pondering how many more lemon peps I can fit on my plate. BECAUSE THIS IS GOOOODT!

As is always the case sis I AM HOLLERIN!!! You said NOT MY DOCTOR GYATDAMMIT

I meannnnnnnnnnnn and I'm glad you brought up daycare. Did you see that flawless pivot Jay did because wtf you mean we don't need you? HOW IS THERAPY GOING MOM!?? Because she really thinks she can just bottle that shit back up like some tabasco sauce (or crystal) and start babysitting grandbabies again. NAWL SIS we got WORK to do first. The babies need social and emotional learning which is definitely not happening in Grandma Mercy's lil playroom.

She done been THROUGH some shit and thinks she can just forget it and hope she doesn't get thrown into a wall again and remember it. One thing the Good Doc™ is not, is stupid. Whether them awards of excellence on the wall are old or not, the brotha knows what he's doing and can probably see right through all that yelling in his expensive black and gold office.

Now the question is, will she take her ass back. Y'all stay tuned pls...

[cricketandbooks]

THE BRAWN — Dead Boy Detectives

Charles Rowland: wrathful, repressed, impulsive, empathetic, warm, protector of the weak

THE BRAINS — Edwin's Playlist THE EYES — Crystal's Playlist THE HEART — Niko's Playlist

This is my character playlist for Charles: his life, death, and afterlife in chronological order. I hope you like it!

Annotations about the songs in this playlist under the cut:

Tracks 1-4: Freezing

Track 1: Let You Down by NF

So much of Charles' life before coming to the boarding school was shaped by his family dynamics.

Feels like we're on the edge right now I wish that I could say I'm proud I'm sorry that I let you down I let you down All these voices in my head get loud I wish that I could shut them out I'm sorry that I let you down Let you down

In Charles' family, the defining aspect was walking around eggshells to cater to his tyrannical father. The feeling of constantly being on edge is a constant pressure, leading their voice to fill your head even when they aren't around. Charles internalized his father's impression of him, constantly believing himself to be a disappointment and that he must constantly be striving to "make things better".

Yeah, I guess I'm a disappointment Doing everything I can I don't wanna make you disappointed It's annoying I just wanna make you feel like everything I ever did Was never tryna make an issue for you But I guess the more you thought about everything You were never even wrong in the first place, right?

Even though he worked so hard to please his father and keep peace in the family, it was never enough. It was never going to be enough. His father refused to understand that the way he ran the household was abusive and wrong.

Yeah, I'ma just ignore you, walking towards you With my head down, lookin' at the ground, I'm embarrassed for you Paranoia, what did I do wrong this time? That's parents for you Very loyal? Shoulda had my back but you put a knife in it My hands are full, what else should I carry for you? I cared for you, but

As time goes on, Charles's extreme loyalty is tested as his father continues to beat him down both physically and mentally. He recognizes that one's parents are supposed to love him, but instead he is carrying the weight of his father's abuse and his mother's enabling behavior. I find the dichotomy of ignoring while at the same time approaching to be interesting, showing that even as Charles is beginning to recognize this injustice, he is stuck in the cycle as long as he lives at home.

Yeah, you don't wanna make this work You just wanna make this worse Want me to listen to you But you don't ever hear my words You don't wanna know my hurt, yet Let me guess You want an apology, probably How can we keep going at a rate like this? We can't, so I guess I'ma have to leave

Charles, like Edwin, has a strong sense of justice, of right and wrong. Even as he defers to his father's rules, trying to people please with apologies, he knows the only way to make things better for him is to leave and go to school.

Yeah, I'm sorry I'm so sorry now Yeah, I'm sorry That I let you down

Yet, even has he recognizes his own innate dignity, Charles has internalized the lies that it is all his fault, and that he is not good enough. Thus, he continues to apologize.

Track 2: Dynasty by Rina Sawayama

Now at school, Charles must chose what aspects of himself he brings from home. Instead of perpetuating his father's violent tendencies, he chooses to be a peacemaker.

I'm losing myself In the darkness of the world Catch me before I fall Saving myself Is all I really know Seen it, been done before

Charles is aware of the rage and trauma that he experienced is eating him from the inside. However, he has only himself to keep him on track and not allow his father's actions to drive him to hurt others. It means he is constantly under tension within himself, always about to lose control to the darkness.

I'm a dynasty The pain in my vein is hereditary Dynasty Running in my bloodstream, my bloodstream Dynasty And if that's all that I'm gonna be Won't you break the chain with me?

As he goes to a new place, free of his abusive environment, he is wondering what the world is actually like. Is it just? Is it loving? Is it kind?

Mother and father, you gave me life I nearly gave it away for the sake of my sanity (Hurting inside, no end in sight Passing it down, I'm not losing this fight) Mother and father, I know you were raised differently Fighting about money and his infidelity (Now it's my time to make things right) And if I fail, then I am my dynasty

Charles decides that instead of being like his parents, he is going to protect the weak and those who have been ostracized like he felt in his own home. If he fails, he knows that he will continue the cycle of abuse he was in. This thought haunts him.

Track 3: Beat It by Michael Jackson

It is established that Charles stood against the bullying culture of St. Hilarion's School for Boys, protecting those who are unable to protect themselves. This is what ultimately sets himself up as a target for the incident that caused his death.

They told him, "Don't you ever come around here" "Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear" The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear So beat it, just beat it You better run, you better do what you can Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man You wanna be tough, better do what you can So beat it, but you wanna be bad

His peers at school, while pretending to like him, reveal their true colors as he stops them in their attack on another student. They warn him to stop this behavior and to stop pretending to be a man. To Charles, protecting others is his purpose, making him feel like he isn't a failure. He was unable to see the danger this would cause him.

They're out to get you, better leave while you can Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man You wanna stay alive, better do what you can So beat it, just beat it You have to show them that you're really not scared You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare They'll kick you, then they'll beat you Then they'll tell you it's fair So beat it, but you wanna be bad

In order to have stayed alive, Charles would've had to make himself complicit in the bullying and bigotry of school. It is against his nature to accept this, believing his affable personality and ability to fight will protect him. He is unaware of the just how far his peers are willing to go to uphold the corrupt status quo, believing the world to be better than what it is.

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight It doesn't matter who's wrong or right Just beat it (beat it), beat it (beat it)

Trying to protect the peace, he tries to appeal to the bullies' better nature. He fails. What happened next is not his fault.

Track 4: When the Lavender Returns by Catman Cohen

Charles freezes and bleeds to death.

As cold as ice Wrapped round your brain And darkness unfolds You’re breathing in pain It’s been freezing here In this Land of Shattered Dreams It’s been freezing here This corrupted winter stings

It isn't just the icy water that causes Charles' death. The coldness and cruelty of his peers is what shatters his dreams of freedom and safety from injustice. The corrupt nature of St. Hilarion's is what ultimately kills him.

But don’t give up Don’t despair Taste the hope Floating through the air When the lavender returns It’ll warm your frozen bones Vivid violet clothes In their candy overtones

Despite this crushing realization that would have killed most people's spirits, Charles was still able to run away and hide. He didn't give up on life and decidedly did not want to die. His continued hope for the future becomes a major source of rage, as they were ultimately the sickly sweet dreams of youth. This hope was never allowed to come to fruition.

If you look out your window The ground’s parched and bare If you call for your lover She’s no longer there If you ponder your life Well, it feels like a wreck And your failures are scars You can never forget

As he huddles in the cabin, alone and afraid, the full force of fear hits him. He is freezing to death, and bleeding internally. Interestingly, neither of these things necessarily left physical scars on him, allowing him to cover up what happened to him with a smile. Despite that, he carries this trauma with him for the entire series, never forgetting life's betrayal of his spirit.

Tracks 5-9: Simmering

Track 5: In a Week by Hozier (Feat. Karen Crowley)

To me, while Light by Hozier represents how Edwin felt when he met Charles, In a Week represents Charles's experience of meeting Edwin as he is dying.

I have never known peace Like the damp grass that yields to me I have never known hunger Like these insects that feast on me A thousand teeth And yours among them, I know Our hungers appeased Our heartbeats becoming slow

There are so many aspects of Charles' life that caused him fear and anxiety, a thousand teeth trying to get a piece of him. Life never allowed him to fully feel peace. As he dies, Edwin brings him soft company that doesn't want anything from him. As death claims him against his will, he is still able to connect with Edwin, a comrade of the soul.

We lay here for years or for hours Thrown here or found To freeze or to thaw So long we become the flowers Two corpses we were Two corpses I saw And they'd find us in a week When the weather gets hot After the insects have made their claim I'd be home with you I'd be home with you

As Charles and Edwin talk, it is clear that they would have been close friends. Edwin even expressed how he wanted more time. Charles is shocked by meeting someone who didn't have a darker ulterior motive. Within Edwin, Charles sees a potential home that actually brings safety and companionship. Even in this tragic situation, friendship can bloom.

I have never known sleep Like the slumber that creeps to me I have never known color Like this morning reveals to me And you haven't moved an inch Such that I would not know If you sleep always like this The flesh calmly going cold

Charles dies at sunrise, and in another deep tragedy his death was far more peaceful than his life. Edwin stayed patiently by his side the whole time, keeping him calm and explaining death to him. Edwin is Charles' peace.

I'd be home with you I'd be home with you I'd be home with you I'd be home with you I'd be home with you I'd be home with you

As the song discusses all the different people that find his body, it talks about how nothing is done to achieve justice. It lays there, forgotten and covered up by the cruel world that killed him. However, this trauma is softened by finding his home in Edwin.

Track 6: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

The first song to appear on both Charles' and Edwin's playlist. My interpretation of this song represents the beginning years of the Dead Boy Detective agency. I will be analyzing this time period through Charles' eyes here. Fast Car is ultimately about them tentatively believing that they could build something that matters while the shadows of the past seek to haunt them and rip them apart.

"You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Any place is better Starting from zero, got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me, myself, I got nothing to prove"

Charles propositions Edwin with the idea of them escaping death together. Edwin has the know-how to keep their existence a secret, and Charles desperately does not want to let go yet. Following their bonding experience as he was dying, he has a good feeling that leaving with Edwin won't end in disaster. Charles truly has nothing left to lose, and he clings to his hope that he can have some happiness in his existence. They started the agency from zero, and built their reputation over time.

See, my old man's got a problem He lives with the bottle, that's the way it is He says his body's too old for working His body's too young to look like his My mama went off and left him She wanted more from life than he could give I said, somebody's got to take care of him So I quit school and that's what I did

While this verse doesn't match Charles' family's exact situation, it still details how much he sacrificed in order to try to keep the family peace. His father being a tyrant and his mom being passive, Charles believed it was up to him to keep the family together and happy. Now he wants to finally be able to exist for himself on his own terms.

"So I remember we were driving, driving in your car Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone"

They lived their lives constantly busy and on the run, with the city of London surrounding them. Edwin's drive and practicality allows Charles to flourish with purpose as he could do the thing he always wanted: protecting and bringing justice for those in need. Together, the agency is both his safe place and his reason for existing.

"You got a fast car I got a job that pays all our bills You stay out drinking late at the bar See more of your friends than you do of your kids I'd always hoped for better Thought maybe together you and me would find it I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere So take your fast car and keep on driving"

However, there are cracks in their relationship, stemming mostly from their inability to be honest with one another. Edwin is incredibly afraid of change and people leaving him. He is set on staying put, while Charles yearns for something more than what he has. His unresolved trauma over his life and the circumstances of his death lead him to be resentful of his existence, even though he chose it. While Edwin is determined to keep things as they are, Charles begins to desire more from the universe and misses being alive.

"You got a fast car Is it fast enough so you can fly away? You gotta make a decision Leave tonight or live and die this way"

Even with these continuing tensions, they both continue to make the decision to keep running and leave death together.

Track 7: Post Humorous by Gus Dapperton

While Working Man by Rush discusses Edwin's coping mechanisms and role in the agency, Post Humorous by Gus Dapperton accomplishes discusses the same for Charles. The title itself appears to be a play on the word "posthumous" referring to someone after they have passed. However, Post Humorous discusses how after his death, Charles leans in to his cheerful nature to make sure the agency continues to run, while refusing to acknowledge his darker feelings/impulses.

Old friend It's me and you again And old boy As me and you rejoice Yeah, I can't help thinking 'bout the way we joked In those funeral homes, yeah I could only hope it was appropriate

Despite their many victories as the Dead Boy Detectives, their work is often morbid and tragic. In order to keep the spirits up, Charles jokes and uses his charisma to counteract this, however sometimes the darkness of the situation consumes him.

So make me laugh As for my last request If I don't take it back Would you ignore my last request? Oh, would you make me laugh? As for my last request Babe, I won't make it back Yeah, I am sure there's nothing left

His greatest desire in life was being allowed to be safe and happy, but he must now settle for a laugh instead of true fulfillment. He watches his family grow old without him, most likely even happier than with him alive as he does not mention his father's abuse continuing when discussing this with Crystal. There is truly nothing left for him in his old life, yet he continues to go to it and reopen old wounds.

But as a, a reminder Ready when you find her I repress the iridescence of a fire And won't you mind him? Steady when you find him I confess the incandescence of a dying light Oh-oh, oh-oh Consume me through the night

He must always remain constant and steady no matter what surrounds him, hoping to bring light to the world. However, after decades of doing this, he is beginning to burn out, about to be consumed by the very toxic positivity he seeks to project.

If I was the king of the thing Then you could have it all If you lied and called me your queen Then you could have the dogs If I was the swingingest thing Then you could have a ball Show me one more effort, boy You know that I could make it better

Charles considers himself, above all, a protector of those who cannot protect themselves. He is willing to do anything to protect Edwin and those seeking justice. His drive and determination to accomplish this is part of what keeps him anchored in his current existence.

If I was the king of the thing Then you could have it all If you lied and called me your queen Then you could have the dogs And if I was the only thing You couldn't bear to lose I'd set fire to the wood Just so you wouldn't have to bury me too

His loyalty to Edwin and their friendship is a top priority to him, and he is willing to do anything to ensure that Edwin isn't sent back to hell and that they aren't separated. He loves him with such a passion he is willing to ensure that Edwin will never lose him even it means destruction. Their relationship is what keeps him from spiraling into wrath, and he will do whatever it takes to protect it even though he feels suffocated by his ghostly existence.

Track 8: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane

The second song to appear on both Edwin and Charles' playlists. Charles and Edwin are each other's safety, best friend, and purpose. They are the only ones during this period that can understand the other's situation and motivation, and through this forged a bond that could last for eternity. However, there are issues threatening to rot their relationship from the inside out.

"I walked across an empty land I knew the pathway like the back of my hand I felt the earth beneath my feet Sat by the river and it made me complete"

They both felt like they new each other like the back of their hands, even though it was revealed throughout the show that they did not. Even though their existence was monotonous, they made each other feel whole and complete. Their relationship grounded each other in their existence, Edwin even being the one to explain to Charles how ghosts stay on solid ground.

I came across a fallen tree I felt the branches of it looking at me Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Charles wonders if this existence will be all he ever has. While he used to find solace in his ghostly form, as it meant freedom from the horrors of his life, he wonders if this is truly the vehicle he is meant to spend eternity in.

"Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on So, tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin"

Edwin yearns for things to remain simple, and as he is much older and wearier than Charles, he is looking for someone to rely on to never hurt him like others have in the past. Charles, on the other hand, is getting tired of their existence, and wants something new.

"This could be the end of everything So, why don't we go somewhere only we know? Somewhere only we know Somewhere only we know"

While these tensions in their relationship keep accumulating, it is certain that the boys both love each other and are willing to work out their issues once they finally are able to communicate them.

Tracks 9-14: Boiling

Track 9: Sleeping with a Friend by Neon Trees

This song represents to me Charles' feelings and experiences with Crystal, whose existence brings the changes he was so desperate for.

All my friends, they're different people Anxious like the ocean in a storm When we go out, yeah, we're electric Coursing through our bodies 'til we're one

Charles is able to recognize that Edwin is afraid of change, and that he is surrounded by people who are seeking to hurt them or rip them apart. But, he cannot deny the electricity he feels when Crystal and him interact, making him feel alive again after so long.

And why mess up a good thing, baby? It's a risk to even fall in love So, when you give that look to me I better look back carefully 'Cause this is trouble, yeah this is trouble

Despite knowing that he should treat this relationship—which is hardly even a friendship at this point—with caution, his impulsive nature is getting the better of him. His partnership with Edwin is safe and steady, and it would be a risk to jeopardize it, but he can't stop himself. After simmering so long in his rage and regret, his desires are threatening to boil over.

I said ooh, ooh You got me in the mood, mood I'm scared But if my heart's gonna break before the night will end I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger Sleeping with a friend, sleeping with a friend

Crystal has seen his "bad" side, his anger and wrath. And while he is scared of being rejected due to that, he is still willing to take the risk regardless.

We are both young, hot-blooded people We don't wanna die alone Two become one, it could be lethal Sleeping with a friend

Crystal and him are very similar in that they're stubborn, vocal, and brash. Their attraction to each other is no different. They have the potential to boil over for better or for worse.

Track 10: Everything is Going Great by Tiny Stills

Charles acknowledges his toxic positivity, but isn't quite ready to fully confront the extent of his rage.

Tell all my friends that I'm sorry for leading them on I made’m think I was fine, but I knew something was wrong I thought that time would prove it's all in my head Now I'm in too deep and alone, and more scared than I’ve ever been

Charles feels like he is lying to his friends about his true nature, believing himself to be a secretly evil person. He apologies to them just like he apologized to his father just for existing. As such, he is isolated from his friends, becoming more alone than ever. He had hoped these feelings would pass, but his rage and violence keeps coming to the surface.

'Cause it's so hard for me to be honest these days I tell myself I'm doing okay I don't want the world to think I'm weak

As the self appointed protector of the group, he believes he is the one that is supposed to never break down or feel negative emotions. Like his father's voice echoing in his ears, one single misstep makes him "weak" in his own eyes.

And so I repeat it repeat it till I believe it Everything's going great Just don't ask me how I really feel I keep it all locked away Yeah Everything’s going great (Yeah everything’s going great) Yeah everything's going great!

Charles is seen repeating over and over again that he is fine, and that there is nothing wrong. Try as he might to keep a cheerful smile on his face, the people who love him are beginning to see through the cracks.

I bite my nails ’till they're bleeding and there's nothing more I spill my guts and my heart out on the living room floor I can't make sense of it all No I just can’t understand How you can say that you love me when I don't know who I am

It is a deep fear of Charles that once people see him for who he truly is, they will be disgusted and leave him. Thus, he must keep everyone at an arms length, even as he goes out of his way to help others. This leads to self destructive behaviors such as violence that compound this problem.

You know the lie feels bad, but the truth is worse Everything good eventually hurts You know the lie feels bad, but the truth is worse Everything good eventually hurts Oh yeah everything good eventually - hurts

Even as he becomes more and more miserable, at this point in the series he is willing to continue to lie to protect his friends from the monster that he is, and to avoid confronting it himself.

Track 11: Fools by Lauren Aquilina

This song represents my interpretation Crystal and Charles' relationship, and it appears on both playlists.

Those hardest to love need it most I watched our bodies turn to ghosts Such good friends, it has to end it always does That's the way life is Do we take that risk?

Both Charles and Crystal have aspects of themselves that are difficult to love: their anger, Charles' inability to express his pain, Crystal's selfishness. However, they have managed to become friends who care about each other. It is a risk to let people in, and both of them have been hurt in the past.

And so it all boils down to this We've got our aim but we might miss We are too fragile just to guess And I've been in this place before Fine as we are but we want more That's human nature at its best

They are both aware of their feelings, but their situation is too fragile and could lead to ruin. However, feelings are often not lead by logic, as Niko stated. Both of them say they are "fine as they are", Charles saying he is fine "as long as I got my best mate and a case to solve" while secretly hating being dead and having his future stolen from him. Crystal believes she is fine where she is without her memories and with David haunting her, but that is a lie. Both want more than their situation, but are held back.

Friends, I watched us as we changed The feelings in my headspace rearranged I want you more than I've wanted anyone Isn't that dangerous?

Charles wanted Crystal because of her beauty, but also in order to chase the feeling of being alive. Now that they are genuinely friends, who share fears and dreams with one another, it is becoming dangerously close to true feelings.

"What if we ruin it all, and we love like fools? And all we have we lose? And I don't want you to go but I want you so So tell me what Tell me what Tell me what we choose"

While Charles is willing to take that risk, Crystal's growing emotional maturity stops her from putting their friendship and the group at risk as she continues to process her abusive relationship with David. While Charles is understanding, he is deeply hurt by this, resentful that again death and the supernatural keep him from experiencing love. He is tired of feeling numb.

Track 12: Fake Happy by Paramore

Much like Everything is Going Great, this song discusses Charles' mask of toxic positivity. However, unlike that song, he is growing actively resentful of this role.

I love makin' you believe what you get is what you see But I'm so fake happy, I feel so fake happy And I bet everybody here is just as insincere We're all so fake happy and I know fake happy

Charles is growing tired of being the one that has to put on a brave face and a smile in order to keep the group going. He wants to be able to drop the insincerity and be himself for once, but is also terrified to do so.

See, I been doin' a good job of makin' 'em think I'm quite alright, better hope I don't blink You see, it's easy when I'm stompin' on a beat But no one sees me when I crawl back underneath

When the group is busy or on a case, Charles was able to maintain his facade. However whenever there's a moment to reflect he can't seem to stop the rage from bubbling to the surface. This impulse often was released in the form of violence as he protects the people around him, but he's afraid it'll boil over in other situations in a manner he can't fix.

Hey, if I smile with my teeth I bet you believe me If I smile with my teeth I think I believe me

Used to smiling in order to diffuse situations, in some contexts, showing teeth at all is seen as an act of aggression. Thus, he is using a smile to cover up his more aggressive nature.

I know I said that I was doin' good And that I'm happy now (Ooh) I shoulda known when things were goin' good That's when I'd get knocked down

Even though things have been going well for the agency as they've let knew people into their lives and are able to explore a new place, he is still getting knocked down. Unable to help Edwin who is keeping secrets, the weight of the Devlin family murders, as well as Crystal's rejection are beginning to cause him to boil over. As he does not have a healthy outlet for these feelings and refuses to communicate, he is afraid of what he will reveal himself to be.

Track 13: DNA by Lia Marie Johnson

This song to me represents him finally communicating his feelings and fears to Edwin about his thoughts that he is an evil violent person deep down.

Dark as midnight Six-pack Coors Light You don't look the same Past my bedtime Blue and red lights Come take you away Hate to see you like a monster, so I run and hide Hate to ask, but what's it like to leave me behind?

This verse talks about his family, he viewed his father as a monster so he ran away to boarding school. But now he is a afraid of his own reflection. He wants to ask them why they give up so easily on him as he watches them grow old and live a peaceful life while his was so full of suffering.

I won't be, no, I won't be like you Fighting back, I'm fighting back the truth Eyes like yours can look away But you can't stop DNA No, you can't stop DNA

Charles became a protector in order to keep others safe from people like his father, but now he is afraid that is exactly who he has become. He is afraid he cannot stop his descent into wrath and that his friends will abandon him.

Are the pieces of you In the pieces of me? I'm just so scared You're who I'll be When I erupt Just like you do They look at me Like I look at you

He has witnessed his friends' reactions to him during the Devlin murders, the Night Nurse threatening to hurt Edwin, as well as the entirety of The Case of the Two Dead Dragons. Instead of feeling safe around him, he is only causing more fear and worry. His boiling over can cost him all that he built, and he grows despondent that he may have caused his friends the same suffering his father caused him.

Track 14: The Kids Aren't Alright by Fall Out Boy

Armed with Edwin's unwavering faith in him, as well as Crystal and Niko's support and care, Charles is able to refocus and reaffirm his place on Earth.

Stuck in the jet wash Bad trip I couldn't get off And maybe I bit off more than I could chew And overhead of the aqua blue

Much like the Devlins, Charles was stuck in a loop of rage ending in violence that only his friends could stop. Taking on the negative emotions of everyone at the cost of his own humanity took too great a toll on him.

And with the black banners raised As the crooked smiles fade Former heroes who quit too late Who just wanna fill up the trophy case again

Allowing himself the ability to express himself, including negative emotions, he is willing to rededicate himself to the agency's cause as a more well rounded person.

I'm not passive but aggressive Take note, it's not impressive Empty your sadness Like you're dumping your purse on my bedroom floor We put your curse in reverse

Acknowledging that he is not simply a "nice guy" but a whole person who contains trauma and fears of his own, he is able to admit his faults. He has been lashing out due to his own sadness at the expense of other people. Having acknowledges this, Charles is willing to do what he can to make amends with friends, who forgive him.

And in the end I'd do it all again I think you're my best friend Don't you know that the kids aren't al-, kids aren't alright? I'll be yours When it rains it pours Stay thirsty like before Don't you know that the kids aren't al-, kids aren't alright?

His love for Edwin and his friends is what allows him to be saved. Even though he isn't completely over the injustice of his death, he feels at peace knowing he would do it all over again if it meant being exactly where he is now. While he may not be able to keep them all from the horrors of the world, he is able to see them as more than just people to protect, but people who can protect and care for him in turn. He is not be fully healed, but he is willing to admit that the constant pressure he was under caused him to boil over.

Tracks 15-17: Smooth

Track 15: Stand by You by Rachel Platten

Edwin is taken to hell. Charles will not allow it.

Even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven Hands put your empty hands in mine And scars show me all the scars you hide And hey, if your wings are broken Please take mine 'til yours can open too 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

For so long, Edwin has been the only person Charles felt secure around. Knowing that Edwin has made a lot of sacrifices and was unjustly tortured, Charles is determined to create a world in which Edwin is also safe.

'Cause I'm gonna stand by you Even if we're breaking down We can find a way to break through Even if we can't find heaven I'll walk through hell with you Love, you're not alone 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Having gone through so much together, Charles is confident that he will be able to save Edwin. Even if it means none of them can ever truly "rest in peace" he refuses to live in a reality where they are not by each other's sides.

I'll be your eyes 'til yours can shine And I'll be your arms I'll be your steady satellite And when you can't rise Well, I'll crawl with you on hands and knees 'cause I

Though Edwin is normally the calm, rational one, Charles is able to be steady for Edwin. He is willing to calm his rage and stand by Edwin no matter what the situation.

Track 16: Stand by Me by Ben E. King

Having finally been completely honest with each other, Charles and Edwin's relationship grows even stronger. Along with Crystal and Niko, Charles finally experiences a family that treats him the way he should have been treated all along.

When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light we'll see No, I won't be afraid Oh, I won't be afraid Just as long as you stand Stand by me

There will always be darkness and cruelty in the world, but having a healthier outlook on life and his existence will allow Charles to better process this. He also doesn't have to absorb all the pain in the world, he has his friends on his side to help him.

If the sky that we look upon Should tumble and fall Or the mountain should crumble to the sea I won't cry, I won't cry No, I won't shed a tear Just as long as you stand Stand by me

Having gone to hell and back, Charles' world was ripped apart by recent experiences, his view of himself crumbling. But having seen the unshakable love and faith of his friends, he knows he is allowed to fall apart and come out the other side.

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me Oh, stand by me Won't you stand by

Even though he has undergone through a lot of changes, Charles still remains a protector. His reasons for doing so has changed, and instead of doing it out of guilt and anger, he is able to more healthily brake the chains of abuse he was in and become the positive force in the world he always wanted to be.

Track 17: The Foundations of Decay by My Chemical Romance

This song is found on all Charles, Crystal, and Edwin's playlists. This song discusses where the characters will go after Niko's death, and reflecting on what they've all learned so far.

See the man who stands upon the hill He dreams of all the battles won But fate had left its scars upon his face With all the damage they had done

All of the characters have been hurt and traumatized by their past, and sometimes it is not so easily healed. Their scars also kept them from truly connecting and communicating with each other. Niko was the one who united them all with her firm believe in love and hope, as well as her ability to listen to their deepest fears. Charles had a lot of mental scars from his life, and even though he has won a lot of battles as a detective, that doesn't erase the damage.

Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain Now, if your convictions were a passing phase May your ashes feed the river in the morning rays And as the vermin crawls, we lay in the foundations of decay

All of the characters were rotting in their own ways before they met each other. Edwin with his denial of his feelings, not just romantically but also in all aspects of life that would lead him to feel warmth and vulnerability. Niko was trapped in her room unable to connect with others in the world not just due to her sprites, but through her unhealed grief and fear. Crystal was rotting away in her selfishness and inability to love and be loved, as well as her abusive and suffocating relationships. Charles was rotting in a silent rage, unable to truly confront his death and all that he lost. By letting this rage fester inside him, it eventually boiled out to hurt others around him. Unable to accept the injustice that his parents continued on happy while causing him so much suffering, his rot threatened to make him lose everything he held as important to him.

You must fix your heart And you must build an altar where it swells When the storm, it gains and the sky, it rains Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away And as you stumble through your last crusade Will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays? And as the swarm it calls, we lay in the foundations

I believe the thesis of the Dead Boy Detectives, as well as this song, is the lyric "you must fix your heart". By allowing your old self to rot, you are able to confront your trauma and begin to heal and grow again. As the characters continue to confront their decay, they will hopefully continue to become more self actualized and healed.

[zuureleena]

i drew the mercs, miss pauling, admin, and my tf2 oc on the plane to uni 😭

i did all of these a week ago and completely forgot to post them HAJAHAH miss p, the admin, and a rlly simplified ver of my tf2 oc miss lynn!! (zoey lynn hehe + js rambles abt her) under the cut

IM ACTUALLY REWORKING HER DESIGN RNNNN bcs i made her on the sims 4 LMAO and realised how much better and concise she looked, but i really wanna try and make her look like someone you'd js see irl? sooOOo tryna make her also recognisable from silhouette alone and blahablahblah tho she isn't the kind of character that would rlly make too much of a difference in the tf2 universe

i js wanted to make a loveable character LMAO who'd have more of an impact on the relationships and kinda the story?

i liked the idea of miss p having an extroverted bestfriend who's also her wingwoman bcs miss pauling is obvs an awkward lesbian mess who needs help in the love department, and vice versa bcs zoey is into scout and miss pauling is js so glad to have him move on n realise that they r better as friends!! and that he needs to be with someone who isn't annoyed by him 24/7 (IM SORRY, LWNAKS MY SELF-INSERTEDNESS GOT IN THE WAY HAHAHAHA I CANT HELP IT) also, i haven't rlly thought of any orientation for zoey... i'm thinking of her js being a het woman or js whatever u wanna interpret her as!! cuz her sexuality isn't a core thing abt her

she's an absolute harbinger of chaos who'd do anyt for money and some company (this girl has been hella lonely n stressed out of her mind and i'll explain why in an oc post🤭🤭) and even tho she never outright admits it, she does enjoy the freedom of violence she gets to have as a mann co assistant 😭 (which will ALSO make sense when i explain her background to u guys later on)

and bcs of her long experience w shady bosses and asshole customers she's had to deal within all the jobs she's had, she catches onto the administrator's whole thing with the australium fairly early into the job, but she's in tooooo deep now and is like "damn. do i get myself out of this fucked up job (that i am fucked up enough to actually enjoy) or do i stay bcs i literally have everything i've ever wanted....shit." like,, she did say she'd do anyt for money but at the cost of what 😭 [also MAN i wish we got that final comic so i can js make zoey's suspicions make sense??!?@ but in a way it js works bcs it's js this massive mystery that we don't even know of ourselves???? so likeee, im js assuming its smth rlly dangerous or smth bcs helen literally goes to the most insane lengths to get australium and finish off her final... thingy.. that uh DEBT is it... i forgot what she called it BUT WHATEVER BUSINESS SHE HAD TO ATTEND TO B4 SHE DIED QOABJASH]

OH AND YEAH, zoey hates how bossy the admin is and is an ass abt it at times, and the admin wants zoey gone so badly bcs shes an annoying little shit (which she is and honestly, her and scout can be annoying shits tgt <3) but miss p always convinces her to keep zoey BAGAHAHA and they do get things done much faster w zoey there sooOoOOo 🌝🤭

i mean she does try to kill both miss p & l anyway but still, she can't deny that they r both good at what they do

BWOSBQJS BYE I DONT THINK ANYONE IS GONNA READ THIS AHAGAH BUT THANK YOU IF U DID 😭 I HAVE SM ABT ZOEY AND I RLLY WANT HER TO BE LOVEABLE AUGHWGS

[ask-nick-carraway]

Dear Nick,

I wrote you a poem! I hope that's alright with you.

Here goes nothing:

Bong-bong-bong (we good, we good, we good?) Bong-bong-bong-bong-bong (like a drum) Bong-bong-bong-bong-bong-bong-bong (haha, this is fire) Nigga, eat this ass like a plum (plum) This pussy tight like a nun (nun) Better chew it up like it's gum (gum) Then wipe your mouth when you done (okay) I'm hot like Nevada, pussy get popped, Piñata Bitch, I look like money (like money) You could print my face on a dollar Beat it up Beat it up Beat it up Beat it up Okay Five, four, three, two, one, lift off Honey, I'm home, shoes gettin' kicked off (uh) Every time I turn around, a bitch pissed off (ah-ha) Little dusty ass hoes need a lint brush (woo) You gon' settle down, you gon' live with him (what?) I don't even wanna post a pic with him (no) The bag he just bought me was a Goyard (Goyard) That ain't yo' nigga, he is both ours Pussy tight like a nun (nun) Countin' hundreds up with my thumb (thumb) I don't care where you from (from) Better beat this shit like a drum (okurr) Don't be talkin' shit like you know me (woo) I ride dick like a pony Girl, that nigga look like a brokey (Real hot girl shit) Go and fuck with his homie, he a- (ah) This ass sit like a stallion, all these wannabes my lil' ponies These hoes camped out in the comments, always talkin' like they know me (ayy) Thick bitches in a black truck, packed in Eat whoever in my way, Ms. Pacman Hermes, made a real big purchase Purse so big, had to treat it like a person Bad bitch (bad bitch) in real life (in real life) Show me real love, give a fuck about them likes ('bout them likes) Bitch tryna say I ain't fine? Oh, alright They know I'm thick like I'm eatin' beans with the rice Like lean over ice, got the real meat pies I be spillin' like my ass, out these jeans when they tight And the way they watch me, need to be monetized (ah) I'ma need a money bag if I sleep overnight Wait, wait, wait (hold up) Wait, wait (hold up) Hoes pop pills, but I'm the one they can't take (yeah) Hot girl shit, I'ma make somethin' shake I know the stiff hoes can't relate (ah) Shoot your shot like a free throw Just know this pussy ain't free though My BD is a Migo Bitch, your BD is a zero My back shots sound like bongos I ain't scared to admit, I'm a freak ho At least I'm gettin' my money Y'all hoes broke, pussy took more turns than a keyhole It did Like a bum I'ma throw it back like it's Thursday I got cake, I'm lit, it's my birthday (ah) Look I don't ride on my knees, bitch, I ride on my toes Big fat ass, it be eatin' up the thong Gotta garage full of foreign cars that I never drove A bitch couldn't school me with a student loan I'm so sexy, I could Met Gala in a robe I could body every look and I could body every pose (yes) Neck full of diamonds, yeah, I'm forever froze Will Cardi ever fall off? Bitch, we'll never know (whoa) Beat it up Wait Bitch, I'm hot (hot), like Nevada ('vada) Pussy get popped, Piñata (bap) Lookin', like money (cold) You could print my face on a dollar (okay) This pussy, Dominicana This pussy, Americana (ayy) Si tu quiere que te toma toma Bought a couple cribs on my own, I'm a owner Beat it up Real hot girl shit La Cardi (ah) I hope you like it! I worked really hard on it.

Sincerely,

Matt

Oi arsehole,

I just came to visit Nick for some important work related business and I find him on the bloody floor with this letter at his desk.

Is he? Is he dead?

Right. I kicked him a few times and he made a noise so I think he’s alive.

Still, that was a shite thing to do mate, scaring him like that.

Only I’m allowed do to that.

Bugger off,

Achava

[tatertato]

life series smp winners playlists part 2

we're back! for those who don't know, i'm putting together songs that i think fit each of the life series winners, and they're either songs i've seen work really really well in animatics already or songs that would probably work really well, but are less popular or not associated with this fandom (yet)

i'll be linking+listing them here as well as providing little snippets of explanation for why i think the song fits, but i don't feel like making actual spotify playlists or smth, so if anyone else wants to do that, be my guest.

i still had trouble finding good songs for some of them (this one especially)- if anyone seeing this has a good idea that i missed, lmk and i'll update these posts (no promises tho)

pt 1 (3L!Grian)

pt 3 (DL!Pearl)

Last Life: Scott

Boss Bitch - Doja Cat: alright, kickin it off strong! picked this song for the gaslight gatekeep girlboss energy and little else

Yeah, ain't tryna be cool like you Wobblin' around in your high-heeled shoes I'm clumsy, made friends with the floor Two for one, you know a bitch buy four And two left feet, you know I always drop (this line because of this post and this post alone)

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss (need i say more)

Said, I took it and I ran for it I won it then I stand on it (NEED I SAY MORE)

2. Two - Sleeping at Last: as i mentioned i had some trouble finding songs for scott since i dont watch his pov too often, so some of these are less exclusively last life and more just his character in general. that being said, i do feel like this still fits to an extent for LL!Scott

Sweetheart, you look a little tired When did you last eat? Come in and make yourself right at home Stay as long as you need (this is scott's total eldest sibling energy, always helping and trying to be friends before anything- ex: taking in cleo, being friendly to scar)

You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat (this applies more after last life, see: the many many many times he offers to sacrifice himself, but also the fact that he refuses to betray his friends as the boogeyman)

Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you without any strings attached And what a privilege it is to love A great honour to hold you up (very representative of scott's trust and loyalty to his allies in every series, through both chaos and peace)

3. Constellations - The Oh Hellos: at first this one was only here for the star symbolism, but after listening to it a couple more times it does fit pretty well (also the oh hellos is very scottagecore)

'Cause like constellations a million years away Every good intention, every good intention Is interpolation, a line we drew in the array Looking for the faces Looking for the shapes in the silence (despite all his efforts to maintain alliances throughout the series, everything inevitably falls apart in the chaos of the finale)

Like constellations imploding in the night Everything is turning, everything is turning The shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light And everything you thought you knew Will fall apart, but you'll be all right (LL was really the only series in which they made a point to isolate the reds- in DL, there was always a pair, and alliances stayed solid despite name color in LimL and SL- but in LL, alliances could be torn apart so quickly, loyalties constantly changing which made it hard to trust others and that shows why scott's loyalty stood out)

4. How to Be a Heartbreaker - Marina and the Diamonds: this is another one that isn't exclusively LL, i just had to put one in abt scotts many ex's.

Rule number one is that you gotta have fun But, baby, when you're done, you gotta be the first to run Rule number two, just don't get attached to Somebody you could lose (i see these "rules" kind of as lessons learned from each season instead, like things he tells himself he'll do next time, but because of his loyal and caring nature, never can)

How to be a heartbreaker Boys they like the look of danger We'll get him falling for a stranger A player, singing I lo-lo-love you At least I think I do (really like i said, a play on the ex's)

5. The Garden - The Crane Wives: here it is, the obligatory crane wives song

Put your ear to my heart or set your teeth against my throat Give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes (something abt this line is just very scott to me)

Lay me down Pour the dirt into our bed Tell the crows They can have their pound of flesh The ghosts at the window echo all our quiet prayers When they come for us, they'll come with hammers and nails My darling, the devil knows my name My name My name (this comes from the things i've seen about how the watchers hate scott, the watchers here symbolized as "the crows" and "the devil")

6. A Terrible Ride - Lizard Boy: this one is an animatic recommendation! here's the animatic -also i think this is applies to most of the winners very angst

I used to be calm But now this ticking bomb is gonna go off (the way he goes after ren for revenge after pearl's death)

I fought and fought hard And I could've died But I got scarred A terrible ride Ride This game was not fun I thought it was right Because I won Was it worth the fight? Fight? (WATCH THE ANIMATIC)

Written in the starss This could have been ours (what can i say, im a sucker for the star symbolism)

and that's all for scott! DL!pearl coming soon!

[chaisshitposts]

hi love if you don’t mind can you go in more detail about the time you entered the void and manifested your job? what was your mindset like before you entered? what do you think helped you enter? i’m in my 20s as well and really want to at least get my dream job first of all things and then i feel like i could finally relax you know? :( so your help would be greatly appreciated🥹

also i think your followers are really nice and mature so when i do tap in, i wouldn’t mind affirming (everyone who likes my success story and has good intentions will enter roe)

sure! let's see if I can remember as many details as possible— it was a couple days after I had my job interview, I had already been affirmin' my ass off that that job was mine and no one could take it from me— on this particular day, I think it was a Sunday. the lady who interviewed me said I would get my answer on the followin' Wednesday, and god that stressed me out, but I still kept affirmin'. on that day, I felt an extreme sense of drowsiness and so I had went to try and sleep in my bed. I already knew about SATs and whatever so I thought I could just affirm as I go to sleep, which I did. I was 'asleep' but I was still repeating my affirmations over and over, only focusin' on them while I was physically tossing and turning. Since I was tryna sleep, my eyes were already closed and it was silent in my room so ig I just didn't care about my surroundings. I do, however, remember that at some point I was affirmin' and was fully aware of my affirmations but then somethin' changed inside me and I was like 'Its done, nothing more for me to do, I don't wanna stress over this anymore. I can't sleep so, might as well just go back downstairs.' Then I opened my eyes and got up, feeling my stress about everything completely gone.

I went downstairs, right as my ma sat down after gettin' a package off the porch and that's when she gave me my new phone. (I still live with my family, yes, but only bc california is a dirt bag ofc) And I kid ya not, a couple minutes after I opened up the box with my new phone in it, I got a congratulations email from the lady who interviewed me, as well as the offer letter on my old phone. I freaked out afterwards bc I was like, ain't no way??? She said she'd send me somethin' on WEDNESDAY?? It's SUNDAY. I even told my ma and she was excited, then I was like-- I really manifested this??? After an entire year of being unemployed despite havin' my degree, and forcin' myself to work at Amazon and FedEx just to have a lil' change to call my own... I finally scored the job I WANT.

The best advice I could give you tbh is that ya should make robotic affirmin', the list method, and the ten minute method yer best friend. I did not have a good outlook on employment until I settled down and decided to change my thinkin' and god I was still stressed as fuck even when I affirmin'. I've never been good at talkin' to strangers, especially on the phone or on video call, but I affirmed right up until the interview started that the job would be mine no matter what and I was completely calm. Now, I am a step closer to my dream job. (I'm a substitute teacher currently workin' towards my credentials to be a full-time teacher in case ya were wonderin', the company I work for also provides grants to pay for the schooling needed to get credentialed which is such a big fuckin' bonus)

and yes, they definitely all are amazin' people, I never expected to have such a positive lil' community of followers but I am grateful to them, for sure.

bUt, okay, lemme stop ramblin' here's what I wantcha to do anonnie— I want ya to make yerself a list, title it whatever ya want to call the list, and fill that list with affirmations, askformations, statements, new beliefs, whatever ya want. could include anything ya want, details about the job ya want, how much money ya wanna make, how ya want the bosses to treat ya, what kinda work environment ya want, whatever, and then I want ya to include some self-concept affirmations, as well as some affirmations about the void (whatever feels natural for you), ah and some manifestation affirmations too. make it however long or short ya want, doesn't matter. once ya have that, read it over as many times as ya want and then throughout the day, whenever ya can, I want ya to robotically affirm that you've got everything on [name of yer list], say this whenever ya can, and especially when ya start thinkin' negative about whatever you desire or whenever ya feel like you're about spiral. affirm this through everything and anything, affirm if ya can't help but cry, affirm when yer angry, affirm when yer happy, just keep affirmin.'

as long as ya keep this up and correct yer thoughts, you'll have guaranteed movement in yer life, that's the law. even in false hope, whatever is repeated shall harden into fact.

[isthisrealliiife]

On Lies I Didn't Know Were Lies

Hi everyone <3 I'm just gonna get straight to what if you're reading this, you most likely want to know about:

I did not mean to lie about posting the next chapter of an echo, a stain in July.

I have NOT abandoned an echo, a stain. 

It will be a minute before I recover my mojo.

And now, for those of you with vague interest in details, a bit more explanation:

By the time I graduated my program, finished my practicum, completed the requirements for certification, got my paperwork sorted, and was finally done, it was mid-July, and I was hardcore job hunting.

Great news! I got a job! As a school librarian! With a non-heinous commute!

So once I got that job, I ended up sleeping for more like nearly a month than a week, because apparently being sick for 10 months and then trying to accomplish every academic, professional, and personal goal you'd meant to achieve during that time while also tryna figure out how to pay rent with no income really fucks with your stamina.

Then I had a bunch of trainings to go to, and visits to fam and friends I hadn't seen in a year, and started my new job.

For those of you uninitiated in the agony and the ecstasy of being a K-12 teacher, this lands me in the DEVOLSON. (The Dark, Evil Vortex Of Late September, October, and November. Google it. It's a brilliant thing that I did not come up with but that is absolutely fucking true.)

The beginning of a new school year is fuckin' NUTS. I can't describe it. It's too much. Suffice it to say that even when you're returning to a school you've been teaching at for years in a position/at a level you've been doing for years, the beginning of the school year is always overwhelmingly busy and hectic and involves more pivots than every runway walk at New York Fashion Week combined. Starting a new job in a new position at a new school in conjunction with this is ... loooooooool. Anyway it's great, it's been great, I love my new job and my new school and my new students but when I tell you every iota of energy, creativity, mental acuity, and basic capacity to accomplish anything has been completely absorbed by my job, it's really not hyperbole lol. But, as my fellow New Jerseyan and hair band charmer Jon Bon Jovi would say, "we're halfway there." Sort of.

I'm not even going to try to predict when the next chapter of an echo, a stain will drop, and I won't make any promises.

What I will say is that with any luck, things will calm down in December and settle into far chiller rhythms. I'm gonna play me some Dragon Age: the Veilguard, sorry not sorry but I been waiting for that fucking game for ten years and for good or for ill, I need to KNOW.

Once that settles, it's probable I'm going to feel some inspo for a story I've neglected for even longer than aeas (WAY longer, in fact) and hopefully finish that fuckin thing or at least figure out where I want to go with it. After THAT (or possibly concurrent with that, tbh), I will return to aeas, whose place in my heart is precious and undiminished.

If you've read this far, thank you. I appreciate you. If you're pissed and are like "fuck your excuses!"

well... I mean, I feel bad about disappointing you, because I genuinely do appreciate people's investment in the story and understand the anguish of waiting for a chapter/ending that seems like it will never come, but also... damn, you don't gotta be mean about it looool.

Unfortunately, we live in a late-capitalist hellscape and so I have to work a lot and pretty hard to barely scrape by and I'm still recovering from being sick for a long time, so I only have so much capacity to do stuff. It's growing, but it's limited, so here we are! I am sorry for having fallen off, though. I really hadn't expected to.

But never fear, I'll be back -- and more importantly, so will aeas. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda scared by having been away so long, and worried that I won't be able to live up to the ambitions I had for the story, but that's not holding me back or anything. I'd rather try and fail than leave it hanging in the breeze unfinished.

It's just gonna take some time. Anyway, I hope y'all are doing well and that life throws some joy at you.

Also listen I am SERIOUSLY not gonna lie but if shit goes awry on that first Tuesday in November, it's gonna take me a minute to reconcile myself with all that. Just sayin'.

OK that's it I hope to be writing again sooner rather than later but thanks for even reading this if you have. <3

[lesser-mook]

Superman: The Animated Series (Recommended)

I roasted this back in the day because of how tame his power level was, but this is a young Superman story done right.

This show tackles cool characters & concepts ranging from Mxy to Darkseid to the Legion of Superheroes.

And featuring a Kara (NOT Bore-El) surprisingly that doesn't piss me off with her very existence. Imagine my surprise to find out she's NOT miraculously Superman's Cousin who ALSO just happened to survive the explosion because Jor-EL just HAPPENED to have a brother who JUST HAPPENED to be a Scientist who HAPPENED to have exact same idea to Kara but for some reason not himself or his wife.

Fan-fic tier garbage. GARBAGE.

But Kara In-Ze decent, she's a good kid.

In fact, I wish Kara In-Ze was in that Superman Returns deleted scene when he went back to Krypton, and he finds her on Argo or something. Some of kind of payoff for that 5 years he was gone

Back to the show. Clark is a sassy, witty chad.

He's not some Him-bro purse puppy like someone else I know in recent memory I wish I could carve out of my skull. He's a vanilla dork big-brother (like Welling's take) who's underwhelming enough to sell the role but not overdoing it to point it's cartoonish & annoying.

He’s good at his job, both of them. And the more times he puts on the cape, the more the universe expands, the guy just attracts trouble and all he’s tryna do is the right thing.

I thought initially him not being overtly geeky would've defeated the illusion but in fact he's still so bland as a person compared to Superman he doesn't have to go out of his way to try not be suspicious, which now that i'm thinking about it would make him more suspicious.

And the sass carries over to Superman, this character (from here to JLU) cops attitude A LOT, it's funny see. A very human Superman with a wide range of emotions as he's in this Superhero career, yet stoic and collected and I love it.

Stubborn as an Ox at times, especially as he gets older & develops more of an ego. He's a leader, but not beyond all reason. A good guy, reliable, very human.

In fact, in a lot of ways, a Shonen protagonist with a hint of slice of life..

I like this guy.

Besides Smallville/ Superman/Superman & Lois/ hell even that Lois & Clark show was charming-

This is THE post-modern Superman, done right.

Honorable mention: 40's Fleischer Superman

I recommend TAS to JL & JLU, since it is technically one timeline (though JL S1 he was nerfed to shit), but it's all part of his story.

Top 3 favorite Lois Lanes of all time. 

The music is so peaceful, grandiose at the same time. The composer (Shirley Walker *Rest in peace*) did the tracks justice, she did her part to bring this project to life with a sound reminiscent of Williams work.

I really like the Retro-Futuristic aesthetic of Metropolis and various other set pieces compared to Gotham & Smallville, it genuinely looks like a city of the future. Reminds me of the Jetsons

Check out the making of Superman: The Animated Series, unlike a certain recent sloppy attempt at Superman with a certain "Lois-Chan" this take possesses so much care and thought & premeditated design.

The character writing has that old-school wit to it, it's mature. Well executed. Where most of the characters sound witty, snarky but professional it has the 40s - 1950s chemistry. Very solid. Vs these days where most characters are random, loud, quirky, talk too much and just annoying lol

As far as Superman lore goes, one of the few things they didn't put in there was Eradicator, Superboy, etc. This show COVERS a lot of the groundwork of Superman content. 3 Seasons+ of content- even Livewire is in here.

If I were to have a complaint (and no it's not Kara), it would be the pre-Singer/Snyder era of how his powers are presented and engineered into visual/sound format. I really like how Singer introduced Superman causing sonic-booms

-and how Zack translated his power into fights.

In TAS show it lacks the aesthetic, the punch/emphasis, he's strong but.... it doesn't lean into it enough for me at times.

Kind of like how My Hero Academia has the visuals down 10/10 but the SOUND EFFECTS are soooooo weak, just a punch of whooshes 24/7, it's so frustrating lol.

Again, It's very tame but while it's underwhelming, how he flies is sort of majestic, like he's gliding on the air, very angelic.

And he is young and the later installments pick it up eventually.

And as shown Supergirl represents some good feats too (And I am proud to say that because I actually like this version of Kara)

Surprisingly My Adventures with Lois-Chan tried to mix it up with the sfx & action, but even that show was lacking in so so so many areas, but I'm going to leave that alone for now.

Superman: TAS

grounded Superman version Zack should've did more homework on. Cavill deserved to act-adapt this Superman.

[monpalace]

OKAY PUTTING THIS HERE SO I DONT FORGET TO SEND YOU THESE IDEAS LATER (gotta go do dishes)

TWIS MOM(should give her a nickname)

-> time was the father that cared but didn’t care about the right stuff (proetctor of Hyrule means protecting his family, not there when family needs him emotionally/mentally)

-> twi’s mom idolized Time cause hero shizz and wanted to learn how to fight. Time refused which became the beginning of a rift between the two (will expand on later)

-> time disowned twis mom after huge fight, did it as a ‘scare tactic’ and didn’t think she would actually leave

-> ran away with her soon to be husband in there early twenties. Later Had twi (late 20’s-early 30’s) but where ran out of their home by monster. While running through the woods to get to ordan village (FORGOT THE NAME SORRY) dad dies leave baby twi and his mom alone while monsters chase after them

-> when Twi is a bit older, the golden wolf hangs around him and his mom is out/sick. Wolf has protected both twi and his mom from monsters attacks before (not the same one that killed dad)

WARRIORS x SEAMSTRESS READER!!

-> reader can manipulate cloth/fiber like best jeanist from mha (you dont havr to get the reference, just a reminder for me 😌)reader can fight using magical clothe,

-> has made a net to catch warriors, herself and his soldiers from falling to their deaths. Can basically make anything from cloth? As long as she has the materials to do so

-> ADORES young time/mask. Will always help sew his tunic when it gets torn and has even taught him the basics of her magic

-> has made a plushie that resembles navi, older Time still has it in his room somewhere. Has embroidered it with magic that makes it glow in the dark like navi <3

-> has made the majority of princess zelda’s wardrobe and has made royal/ball outfits for Warriors which may lead to tender touches and lingering stares as she measures him

OKAY I THINK THATS GOOD FOR NOW!! Be back laaterrr heheheh (you can posr this if ya want!)

trippy if you're tryna get me out of my writer block with all of these it's working ,,

but time going low and twi's mom immediately thinking she has to go to hell to go lower? idk if i want her or am her

time not coming to his senses until after he dies? him realizing that "damn. i really could've done this whole dad thing a hell of a lot better" and trying to make up for it as the golden wolf? twi's mom naming him link after her father because she still mourns him/her relationship with him?

babe i'm about to throw you the nastiest left hook you've ever seen or had in your life. why would you make me have these thoughts ??

idk a lot about mha, but the seamstress having similar powers to best jeanist made me think about that one seen where he changes bakugou's hair, but with mask/wars instead?

either mask is fighting tooth and nail to make her stop coming through the knots and naps in his hair because it's just horrendous as all get out-- or the intimacy of her fixing wars' hair but having just as many issues (not behavioral) as mask because despite the only thing he really has going for him is his pretty face

older relative! best seamstress to mask ,,,,,,,, *head in hands* i'm gonna emotionally shut down ,,,,,

(i am a big fan of mm. you will be able to tell in an unspecified amount of time)