#there's symbolism or whatever going on here but anyways moving on

[xxplastic-cubexx]

What the hell does an "onslaught" and does he look like his parents?

you get TWO versions of baby onslaught <3<3 one version for each parent he takes after them so well don't he <3<3<3 really got their. domes <3

the bulkier version was Generally how he appeared since his first appearance in the 90's while his 'charles' appearance is way more recent, debuting in Onslaught Revelation (2021)

(Onslaught Revelation)

[savethepinecones]

oh my god i totally forgot i ordered the back from the dead hoodie. why did yall encourage me to buy doomed merch oh my god half of my hoodies are gonna be dnp merch

[dandelionsresilience]

whether the internet becomes an intolerable surveillance state, ubiquitous subscription model, or unusably ad- or AI-ridden shithole, I think we need to remember

how to do things offline

either on your personal hard drive (just because it’s an app doesn’t mean the information is stored in your device) or on paper. I’m not saying the collapse of the internet is imminent, and I’m not suggesting we do everything completely without technology, or even stop using it until we have to. (to be clear, I also don’t think the internet will just blink out of existence, suddenly stop being a thing at all; rather I think it might continue to lose its usefulness to the point where it’s impossible to get anything done. anyway) but some people may have forgotten how we got by before the internet (I almost have!), and the younger generation might not have experienced it at all.

I figure most people probably use the internet mainly for communication with friends and family, entertainment and creation (eg. writing), and looking up how to do things, so here’s how to do those things offline:

First and most importantly, download everything important to you onto at least one hard drive and at least one flashdrive! files can get corrupted and hardware can get damaged or lost, but as long as you keep backup copies, you have much-closer-to-guaranteed access versus hoping a business doesn’t decide to paywall, purge, or otherwise revoke your access. I would recommend getting irreplaceable photos printed as well

download and/or print/write down:

anything important to you - photos/videos, journals, certificates, college transcripts

contact info - phone numbers and/or addresses of friends/family (know how to contact them if you can’t use your favourite messaging app), doctors (open hours would be good too), veterinarians if you have pets, and work

how-to’s - recipes (one, two), emergency preparedness (what do I do if… eg. I smell gas)

other things you might google: cleaning chemicals to NOT mix, what laundry tag symbols mean, people food dogs and cats can and can’t eat, plant toxicity to pets

and know offline ways to find things out - local radio station, newspaper, a nearby highway rest area might have a region map, public libraries usually have a bunch of resources

also, those of you who get periods should strongly consider not using period tracking apps! here’s how to track your period manually

free printable period tracker templates (no printer? public libraries usually charge a few cents per page, or you can recreate it by hand)

moving on to entertainment, you can still get most media for free! it’s completely legal to download your favourite movies to your own personal hard drive, you just can’t sell or distribute copies (not legal advice)

movies: wcostream.tv (right click the player) - the url changes every once in a while but usually redirects; I recently noticed that it’s hiding a lot of movies behind “premium,” so it may or may not work anymore | download youtube videos

music: how to get music without streaming it | legal free downloads

games: steamunlocked.net - doesn’t have every game and can be slow to update, but very reliable

books: free online libraries | legal free downloads

otherwise passing time:

active outdoor games

for road trips (social verbal games)

for when power’s out

for sheltering in place (not all offline, but good ideas)

board games (often found at thrift stores)

ad-free customisable games collection (mobile)

read, write, draw, or whatever your craft is, sing, dance, clean, reorganise, take a bath

go outside - excuses include napping (if safe), eating, reading, finding cool plants/animals/rocks, playing with the dog

places to go include:

zoos and museums can be surprisingly cheap

parks and nature preserves

library, mall, or game shop

and a few miscellaneous things for good measure:

time budgeting | household management

how to use a planner | I’ve had success with visually blocked-out schedules like these

please add on if you have any other offline alternatives to common uses of the internet!

[felassan]

Cliff notes on the new info on Dragon Age: The Veilguard in today’s issue of Game Informer (magazine hub link):

Edit/update: I tidied up this post. ^^

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In CC you can customize things like shoulder width, chest size, glute size, hip width, how bloodshot your eyes are, nose crookedness, and more

There are hundreds of sliders for body proportions

CC detail: “Features like skin hue, tone, melanin”

There is nudity in DA:TV, “which I learned firsthand while customizing my Rook” in CC

Rook’s backstory also affects “reputation standing”, along with the other previously-known things like in-game dialogue etc

Lords of Fortune are pirate-themed, “piratic”

Rook ascends because of competency, not because of a magical McGuffin, contrasting with the 'destiny-has-chosen you’ angle DA:I has for the Inquisitor

Rook is here because they chose to be, “and that speaks to the kind of character that we’ve built. Someone needs to stop this, and Rook says, ‘I guess that’s me'”

The 4 voices we can choose for Rook each have a pitch shifter in CC

The game starts inside the bar (as previously detailed in other coverage)

In some dialogue wheels there is a “romantically inclined ‘emotional’ response” option. These are the replies that will build relationships with characters, romantic and platonic alike, but you can ignore them if you want to. Giving a companion the cold shoulder might nudge them into another companion’s embrace however

Bellara’s surname is Lutara

In the streets of Minrathous (in the opening segment of the game), there is a wide, winding pathway with a pub which has a dozen NPCs in it (is this The Swan tavern?)

The devs used the DA:TV CC to make each in-world NPC, except for specific characters like companions

There is smart use of verticality, scaling and wayfinding in the gameplay

If you play as e.g. a qunari Rook, the camera adjusts to ensure larger characters like them loom over those below. The camera also adjusts appropriately for dwarves to demonstrate their smaller stature

Neve Gallus is described as being capable

The Venatori Cultists we fight in the opening segment of the game are seizing the chaos caused by the demons unleashed by Solas’ ritual to try and take the opportunity to take over the city

As you traverse deeper and deeper into Solas’ hideout, more of his murals appear on the walls, and things 'get more elven'. Rhodes says “this is because you’re symbolically going back in time, as Minrathous is a city built by mages on the bones of what was originally the home of the elves”

At the heart of Solas’ hideout is his personal eluvian

Demons are fully redesigned in this game, on their original premise as creatures of feeling that live and die off the emotions around them. “As such, they are just a floating nervous system, pushed into this world from the Fade, rapidly assembled into bodies out of whatever scraps they find”

In the opening, we stop Solas’ ritual and save the world. “For now” anyways. Rook passes out moments later and wakes up in a dream-like landscape to the voice of Solas. He explains that a few drops of Rook’s blood interacted with the ritual, connecting them to the Fade forever. (I guess this is why they said in the Discord Q&A on June 14th that Rook has good reasons to want to avoid blood magic)

He also says that he was attempting to move Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain (confirming who the two Evil Gods are) to a new prison, because the one he had previously constructed was failing. Unfortunately, Solas is trapped in the Fade by our doing, and the two gods are now free. “It’s up to Rook to stop them”, thus setting the stage for our adventure

Rook wakes up after this with Harding and Neve “in the lair of the Dread Wolf himself”, a special magical realm in the Fade called The Lighthouse. It’s a towering structure centered amongst various floating islands. This is where the team bonds, grows, and prepares for its adventures. It becomes more functional and homier as you do. “Already, though, it’s a beautifully distraught headquarters for the Veilguard, although they aren’t quite referring to themselves as that just yet”.

Because it was Solas’ home base, it's gaudy, with his fresco murals adorning various walls, greenery hanging from above, and hues of purple and touches of gold everywhere. Since it’s in the Fade, which is a realm of dreams that responds to your world state and emotion, the Lighthouse “reflects the chaos and disrepair of the Thedas you were in moments ago”

Clock symbols over dialogue icons signal optional dialogue options

At this point you can head over to Neve, engage in dialogue, and try and flirt with her

There is a dining hall in the Lighthouse. A plate, cutlery and a drinking chalice are at the end of a massive table. Matt Rhodes says that this is a funny and sad look at Solas’ isolated existence, and an example of the detail BioWare’s art team has put into DA:TV. “It’s like when you go to a friend’s house and see their bedroom for the first time; you get to learn more about them”

There is also a library, which is the central area of the The Lighthouse. It’s here that the party will often regroup and prepare for what’s next

The team decides that it must reach the ritual site back in Arlathan Forest. Corinne Busche said that the writer was "missing unique dialogue options here because I’m qunari; an elf would have more to say about the Fade due to their connection to it. The same goes for my backstory earlier in Minrathous. If I had picked the Shadow Dragons background, Neve would have recognized me immediately, with unique dialogue”

The team decide their next move. They go to Solas’ eluvian and back through to the ritual site in Arlathan Forest. However, it’s not fully functional without Solas, and while it returns them to the Forest, it’s not exactly where they want to go. Then a demon-infested suit of mechanized armor known as a Sentinel attacks them, and two NPCs appear to save you: the Veil Jumpers Strife and Irelin. Harding recognizes them, which you would expect if you read the comic Dragon Age: The Missing. They are experts in ancient elven magic. A cutscene ensues and we learn that Strife and Irelin need help finding Bellara Lutara. This cutscene is long and has multiple dialogue options.

“There’s a heavy emphasis on storytelling and dialogue, and it feels deep and meaty, like a good fantasy novel. BioWare doesn’t shy away from minutes-long cutscenes”

For Rook, this story is about what does it mean to be a leader? We define their leadership style with our choices. “From the sound of it, my team will react to my chosen leadership style in how my relationships play out.” This is demonstrated within the game’s dialogue and a special relationship meter on each character’s companion screen

Bellara is deep within Arlathan Forest, and following the events of the prologue, something is up here. Three rings of massive rocks fly through the air, protecting what appears to be a central fortress. Demon Sentinels plague the surrounding lands.

In gameplay/combat, players complete every swing in real time. Special care was taken in development for animation swing-through and cancelling. We can dash, parry, charge moves, and a completely revamped healing system that allows us to use potions at our discretion by hitting right on the d-pad. You can combo attacks and even ‘bookmark’ combos with a quick dash, which means that you can pause a combo’s status with a dash to safety and continue the rest of the combo afterward

Abilities can be used to customize your kit. They can be used on the fly as long as you account for cooldowns

When you pause and pull up the ability Wheel, it highlights you and your companions’ skills. There you can choose abilities, queue them, target specific enemies, and strategize with synergies and combos

Each character plays the same in that you execute light and heavy attacks with the same buttons, use abilities with the same buttons, and interact with the combo wheel in the same way, regardless of which class you select

Sword and shield warriors can hip-fire or aim their shield and throw it like Captain America

Warriors can parry incoming attacks which can stagger enemies. Rogues have a larger parry window. The mage the writer played couldn’t parry at all. Instead they throw up a shield that blocks incoming attacks automatically, so long as you have the mana to maintain it

On the start/pause screen: it has the map, journal, character sheets, skill tree, and a library for lore information. You can use it to cross-compare equipment and equip new gear for Rook and their companions, build weapon loadouts for quick change-ups mid-combat, and customize you and your party’s abilities and builds via an easy-to-understand skill tree. There aren’t in-depth minutiae, just "real numbers". For example, an unlocked trait might increase damage by 25 percent against armor, but that’s as in-depth as the numbers get. Passive abilities unlock jump attacks and guarantee critical hit opportunities, while abilities add moves like a Wall of Fire to your arsenal if you’re a mage. As you spec out this skill tree, which is 100 percent bespoke to each class, you’ll work closer to unlocking a spec, complete with a unique ultimate ability

“Sentinels and legions of darkspawn”

Combat is flashy and quick, with different types of health bars. Greenish-blue represents a barrier, which is taken down most effectively with ranged attacks

The game is gorgeous, with sprinkles, droplets, and splashes of magic in each attack a mage unleashes

The game looks amazing on consoles both in fidelity and performance modes

The mission to find Bellara is called “In Entropy’s Grasp”. You find her. She is the first companion you recruit (as Neve auto-joins). If your background is Veil Jumper, you get unique dialogue here with Bellara. She explains that everyone there is all trapped in a Veil Bubble, and there’s no way out once you pass through it. Despite the dire situation, she is bubbly, witty, and charming. She is spunky and effervescent

Companions are the faces of their factions, and in this case with Bellara, their entire area of the world. She is our window into Arlathan Forest. She is described as a sweetheart and a nerd for ancient elven artifacts, which is why she’s dressed more like an academic than a combatant. Her special arm gauntlet is useful both for tinkering with her environment and taking down enemies. While Neve uses ice magic and can slow time with a special ability, Bellara specializes in electricity, and she can also use magic to heal you. Her electric magic is effective against Sentinels. “However, without Bellara, we could also equip a rune that converts my ice magic, for a brief duration, into electricity to counter the Sentinels”

If you don’t direct your companions in combat, they are fully independent and will attack on their own

You progress at this point through the Forest, encountering more and more darkspawn. Bellara says that they have never been this far before because the underground Deep Roads, which they usually escape from, aren’t nearby. However, with “blighted” (BLIGHTED!) elven gods roaming the world, and thanks to the Blight’s radiation-like spread, it’s a much bigger threat in DA:TV than any prior DA game

The Forest has elven ruins, dense greenery and disgusting Blight tentacles and pustules

The style of the game is more high fantasy than anything in the series thus far and almost reminiscent of the whimsy of Fable. Matt Rhodes says that this is the result of the game’s newfound dose of magic: “The use of magic has been an evolution as the series has gone on. It’s something we’ve been planning for a while because Solas has been planning all this for a while. In the past, you could hint at cooler magical things in the corner because you couldn’t actually go there, but now we actually can, and it’s fun to showcase that.” The Forest’s whimsy will starkly contrast to the game’s other areas. The devs promise some grim locations and even grimmer story moments because, without that contrast, everything falls flat. Corinne says it’s like a “thread of optimism” pulled through otherworldly chaos ravaging Thedas. At this point in the game, Bellara’s personality is that thread

We can advance our bonds with our companions on their own personal quests and by including them in our party on main quests. Every Relationship Level you rank up, shown on their character sheet, nets you a skill point to spend on them. “The choices you make, what you say to companions, how you help them, and more all matter to their development as characters and party members”. Each companion has access to 5 abilities.

Each companion has issues, problems, and personal quests to complete. “Bellara has her own story arc that runs parallel to and informs the story path you’re on” (They’ve said that all of the companions have this too in previous promo material)

You progress deeper into the forest and Bellara spots a floating fortress and thinks that the artifact needed to destroy the Veil Bubble is in there. To reach it, we must remove the floating rock rings, and Bellara’s unique ability, Tinker, can do just that by interacting with a piece of ancient elven technology nearby. Rook can acquire abilities like Tinker later to complete such tasks in instances where Bellara, for example, isn’t in the party

Bellara has to activate three of these in the Forest to reach the castle. Each one you activate brings forth a bunch of Sentinels, demons, and darkspawn to defeat

You can create Arcane Bombs on enemies. It does high damage after being hit by a heavy attack

It sounds like mage characters can charge heavy attacks on their magical staffs. “then switch to magical daggers in a second loadout accessed with a quick tap of down on the d-pad to unleash some quick attacks”

Some enemies are “Frenzied”, meaning that they hit harder, move faster, and have more health

After a few more combat sections, including against a Frenzied sentinel, we reach the center of the temple. In there is an artifact called the Nadas Dirthalen. Bellara knows that this means “the inevitability of knowledge”. Before we can progress, a darkspawn ogre boss attacks, hitting hard with unblockable, red-coded attacks and a massive shield that you need to take down first. It is weak to fire

After defeating it (it���s a climactic arena fight), Bellara uses a special crystal to power the artifact and remove it from the pedestal, which destroys the Veil Bubble. Then, the Nadas Dirthalen comes alive as an Archive Spirit, but because the crystal used to power it breaks, we learn little about this spirit before it disappears. Bellara thinks that she can fix it (fixing broken stuff is her thing), so the group heads back to the Veil Jumper camp. The writer’s demo then ended.

The design of the game is not open world. The devs describe it as a “hub-and-spoke” design where the needs of the story are served by the level design. A version of DA:I’s Crossroads return (the network of teleporting eluvians) and this is how players will traverse across northern Thedas. “Instead of a connected open world, players will travel from eluvian to eluvian to different stretches of this part of the continent”. e.g. Minrathous, tropical beaches, Arlathan Forest, “to grim and gothic areas and elsewhere”. Some of these areas are large and full of secrets and treasures. Others are smaller and more focused on linear storytelling. Arlathan Forest is an example of this, but it still has optional paths and offshoots to explore for loot, healing potion refreshes, and other things.

Each location has a minimap, though linear levels like In Entropy’s Grasp won’t have the 'fog of war' that disappears as you explore like in some of the game’s bigger locations

The game has the largest number of diverse biomes in DA history

The Thedas of DA:TV “lives in the uncertainty”. “the mystery of its narrative”, “the implications of its lore”

The writer is surprised by BioWare’s command over the notoriously difficult Frostbite engine, and by how much narrative thought the dev team poured into these characters, even for BioWare.

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[source: the Game Informer pages from Issue 367 - the cover story from June 18th (link), two]

[krisluxxeeempress]

HOW DOES YOUR PERSON FEEL ABOUT YOU? PICK-A-CARD

Pile (1): FALLBACK

Cards: Tower (reversed, Magician, Two of Cups (reversed) Ten of Swords, King of Wands (reversed) and the Seven of Wands and Three of Pentacles at the bottom of deck.

I was going to start off by saying “your person” however, according to the cards, it’s best to say “the person on your mind”- is feeling vulnerable at this time. I am getting Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius and or Taurus energy thus far. Anyway, I just felt like giving up while writing this. Someone in this dynamic feels powerless, mentally drained, and ultimately wanting or needing to give up. (I just got so discouraged and tired randomly) For some of you, this may be an ex that made you feel this way and the universe has brought them back into your life.

There may be an opportunity presenting itself to rekindle the relationship or a friendship though, you feel drained. For others of you, this may be someone new that you are interested in but due to past failures in relationships- you have very little energy, effort or hope that something can manifest with a potential love interest. If this is not how you are feeling, then they are. As always, this scenario is due to someone being hurt in the past and therefore, are currently unwilling to move forward or open to someone new. Another case could be that someone is fearful of being open to someone new or in general and if you are interested in someone like this- it may be a warning that your energy will become drained “chasing” someone. Intuitively, I am being told that this may be a quick lesson or REMINDER that all things happen in Divine Time, and nothing is a coincidence. Some of you, the universe is playing “games” with you. The universe knows you may want this person, opportunity or whatever but this time, you cannot control it. You are learning to not control it, therefore, if you are starting to feel drained because something isn’t going your way or pace… fall back and let go! It’s like a tease but understand it’s temporary.

Some of you may have a debilitated 7th house, 8th house, 12th house, 1st house but you don’t have to. Nevertheless, this pile doesn’t have energy. This dynamic does not have energy. The more you or they, try to manipulate this the more it becomes drained and strained. I would suggest embracing a spiritual or higher perspective and know that rejection is protection or simply, it’s just not the right time. It’s like a car engine that won’t turn on in the winter and no matter how many times you try to jump it, nothing. I’ve been in that situation before and it was only when I left it alone, found another means of transportation. Then I would try again later, and my engine would turn on. Granted, I was happy, but I went and bought a new BATTERY to be safe and sure and I suppose my story is symbolic for waiting but moving along at the same time. Funny, I shuffled more, and the Chariot card came out- no lie. Anyway, that is all I have for this pile. There’s no energy now and it may seem like a false start but there are things manifesting in the background.” Blessings in Disguise”. I feel strongly that some of you need reassurance and here it is. You may resonate with another Pile considering this feels like the beginning of a relationship or something. . .

Pile (2): COBWEBS

Cards: Seven of Cups, Queen of Swords (reversed), Hierophant, Queen of Cups, High Priestess, Wheel of Fortune, Death (reversed), Two of Cups (reversed), and Five of Cups (reversed) at the bottom of deck.

With the Wheel of Fortune present, this suggest that Astrology is involved. Something has shifted from your (or your persons) Natal birth chart, Solar Return or Progressive chart. I could also be picking up on a futuristic shift nevertheless, a time of failed relationships, loneliness, and or being distant from people/ relationships is coming to an end. The Queen of Swords is not relationship oriented, not in the 7 of cups sense that most believe “love” should be- like being emotional, sensitive, vulnerable, clingy, and OPEN. The Queen of Swords is too smart, logical, and PICKY for that. Someone may have Aquarius, Scorpio, Virgo placements that has prevented getting close and or intimidate with someone. Anyway, there’s a shift of being judgmental, picky and or avoidant to being emotional, open, and desiring a relationship.

This could be what was causing “no energy” or a delay in Pile 1 but it could be totally unrelated. Regardless, someone here is feeling very emotional and dreamy currently for what seems like the first time.  I don’t necessarily feel like there is someone solid in your life though, you may want one or are actively manifesting one. I started to shuffle to clarify the Queen of Cups and surprise, surprise- the Lovers card came out with the Three of Wands (reversed) and Eight of Cups. You or maybe the other person you don’t know yet (or well) is realizing that being emotionally distant, avoidant, and unbothered is not opening the path or doors they want in love and relationships. The Lovers card is about a choice but more so, about your masculine and feminine energy within, being in balance. When one if off, then the other cannot operate properly and in the physical, this manifest as someone having “something missing” that you cannot deal with. Example, if you lack masculine energy within and are unable to be assertive- you will then attract a man or woman who lacks assertiveness especially when it comes to you.

Or, if you are emotionally closed off and in denial that you want love etc. than you will attract men and or women who are emotionally unavailable and so forth. The Lovers card is a mirror of “as within and so without”. This further confirms my interpretation of the cards about a shift occurring within someone. Honestly, this pile feels like soulmates/ twin flames getting prepared for UNION. This pile feels like two people who may not know each other at all or vaguely, who are manifesting each other unknowingly. This pile is like two people who would tell themselves “I don’t want love, relationships, kids, a family, marriage, sex, intimacy” NOTHING. . . and yet, the cards, the energy and GOD determined that was A LIE. I clarified the Seven of Cups and the Seven of Swords (reversed), the Eight of Pentacles and Two of Wands (reversed) came through. This confirms the lies that some of y’all been telling yourselves. (the Devil just appeared also) all these lies and self-deceit. I would look at your Solar Return chart for next year because I’m telling you- something is going to POP OFF. I wanted to clarify the Hierophant because with this card comes lessons and guidance around self-esteem, commitments, hard work, and one’s values. I can see with the cards that clarified that most of you, or your person coming in- uses work and everything else to distract themselves.

I see that you have all been hurt or disappointed in relationships that may have influences low self-esteem that is covered up with LIES that you don’t want this or that lol, but 1) you were going through a challenging cycle in life 2) there’s a new shift coming soon. The Hierophant is Taurus and Sagittarius to me, so this card also represents time and learning. It’s been a long time that is coming to an end. Some of you have one more year, 8 months (and countdown) until the shift is complete. If you chose this pile, it’s time to clean out the cobwebs in your panties and boxer briefs because soon- someone will be up in there FAITHFULLY … HA! Pile One may resonate with you if you chose this pile.

PILE (3): OVER IT

Cards: Emperor (reversed), Seven Pentacles (reversed), Three Swords, Two of Wands, The Word (reversed). The Ace of Swords (reversed, Knight of Cups (reversed), Ace of Pentacles at the bottom of deck.

I felt drawn to immediately clarify the Two of Wands card and the Five of Cups came out. This suggest that there may be an ex, refer to Pile One, that you are deciding to move on from. If it’s not an ex per se than it’s indicating a behavior, belief, or habit that you are moving away from because it attracted relationships that are not in your best interest and caused pain. ANYWAY, there’s an opportunity being presented to move forward- Pile two may resonate with those who feel it’s time to get on the road again – quite literally. Some of you may feel the urge to move to a different state or country or even a new job. I feel like you may run into your life person when you do. This is obviously talking about getting out of your comfort zone- keep that in mind. I usually have more to say but not this time. It’s either move on or stay where you are.

[hiddenhearthwitch]

📚 Small Intro To Polytheism📚

One of the most frequent asks I receive is how and where to get started when it comes to polytheism. This is a fairly broad subject and I’ll try to be as general as I can for advice but I will include specific references for Norse polytheists as that’s my shit. This information can be used to help you find a pantheon or to help you pick deities to work with it. If you’d like to use it to pick a patron deity that’s super, if you want to worship 20 gods and not have a patron deity that’s cool too. You do you dude. Please keep in mind this is all reflective of my research and personal practice. 🌻

Picking A Pantheon/Deity

This really boils down to personal preference. You’ll read a lot of posts and books that tell you many different ways and it’s entirely up to you because it is your practice.  That being said, there’s a couple of different ways to go about it. 

Research! This is one of my favorite ways to delve in. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reading the stories of multiple pantheons and picking on that calls to you. You can also talk to other devotees and see what they have to say about deities and their religions. It is important to keep in mind that some religions are closed so please do proper research!

For example, I wasn’t originally a Norse pagan. I read some stories and thought the Hellenic pantheon would best suit me. I reached out to Eros for a while but after feeling no real connection to the pantheon I continued my research! After reading up on the Norse pantheon I decided to reach out to them out. Obviously, I fucking loved it because here I am. Point being, you can pick a pantheon based on research and not some divine message or whatever. You are also more than welcome to try out a religion, decide it doesn’t suit you, and move on. 

Divination! You can use runes, a pendulum, tarot, etc.This can go a few different ways. You can write pantheon/deity names on separate pieces of paper, mix them up, and place them face down then ask the pendulum to pick. You can assign a deity/pantheon to each suit of cards or major arcana card or even do the same thing with runes. 

For example, this is how I found a devotion to Frigg and Hel. I asked if there were any deities who were interested in working with me and pulled the runes Hagalaz and Berkana which read as Hel and Frigg to me. I followed up with tarot cards and pulled Death(Hel) plus the Queen of Pentacles(Frigg).

Asking/waiting for a sign. This isn’t something I’ve personally done so I don’t have much to say on the subject. You can go about meditating, praying, doing a ritual, or whatever and essentially wait for a sign after. It can come via a dream, something you experience, symbols you see in your daily life, it’s pretty much up to your intuition to decipher it. If anyone has information they’d like me to add in here please let me know!

If there’s a god you’re curious about and don’t want to do any of the above it’s totally cool to just reach out and ask if they want to work with you. 

Idk How To Research

Same, tbh my keyword search game is weak. Anyways, good portion of us are looking up dead religions with little reliable resources. To give those curious about the Norse an easy head start here’s a compiled list of  books by yours truly(click me!!) . It’s important to take everything with a grain a salt of salt when doing research. In my experience a lot of the retold Norse sagas have been Christianized or written under heavy Wiccan influences. It’s a good idea to do research on the author before reading one of their books.

Other blogs! There are tons of great witches and pagans on tumblr that have information waiting for you. 💗 You can search their blog/tags for good references for books, websites, podcasts, etc. Plus lots of blogs are open to answer asks. If you don’t know where to start for searching it’s best to try things based around your interest like: “norse polytheist”, “hellenic witch”, “gaelic polytheism”, etc.

Media! How lucky are we that we live in the age of technology? Knowledge is right at our fingertips! There are countless documentaries, podcasts, and audiobooks on youtube full of information for different cultures and religions. I’d personally recommend almost anything by BBC, Myths & Legends, and World Mythology!

Books! I love starting on goodreads to find good books and trust worthy authors. They’ve had almost every book I looked up with bunches of different reviews so you can get varying perspectives. Check out your local library as well! A lot of city libraries have online databases now of all of their books so you can “check it out” online and read the PDF(personal fave). 

Feeling Lost Still?

That’s completely reasonable and your feelings are more than valid. It can be overwhelming and lot of information to soak up. Just do your best and take it at your own pace, there’s no rush to find a deity or pantheon. 💞 Below are a few other general concerns I hear a lot that I was hoping to address.

“I’m leaving a monotheistic(Christian, Catholic, Jewish, etc) religion and it’s giving me anxiety.” This is entirely common and almost expected in my opinion. I was raised Roman Catholic and my first year to two looking into polytheism riddled me with anxiety. I was constantly concerned that god would smite me down or I’d face an eternity in hell for worshiping false gods. While I can’t speak for everyone that fear was entirely erased for me when I found my gods. I’ve never felt so safe and strong and hopefully with time you can find the same in your gods!

It’s okay to want to learn more or to seek something more. I can’t tell you how to handle your anxiety but please know you’re not alone in that fear. There’s whole communities out there willing to support you and help you find your safe space(including me)!

“What’s UPG?” You’ll see a lot of posts, mine included, that mention UPG - UPG is Unverified Personal Gnosis. This is essentially someone’s personal thoughts and beliefs about a deity. For example, I associate Sif with hazelnuts. There’s nothing in the lore or any book that says that she likes hazelnuts; that’s just a personal opinion(aka a UPG).

“How do I reach out to the gods?” I have a lot of information on my blog about this topic although a lot of it is Norse specific. You can check out my beginner polytheist tag here and my beginner norse post/ask here.

Altar! This is my go to typically. Altars aren’t limited to the cookie cutter image that comes to mind(no hate though I have a few); one thing you can make a side blog dedicated to your pantheon/deity, make a small one in a tin can, or even make one in a video game like Minecraft or some shit. You can be as creative or as to the book as you want. It’s up to you.

Prayer! You can totally just sit down and be like, “Hey man wanna work on some shit together?”. While I’m not 100% that all gods would be down with you being that casual it’s still something you can try.😂 You can reach out to them by sitting down in a quiet space and meditating into prayer, praying in the car or in the shower, or just pray at the altar you set up if you did. Again, I can not reiterate this enough, it’s your practice, reach out to them as you please.

Do something personal! This is more like devotional work in my opinion. Let’s say you knit and you want to reach out to a creative or domestic deity, you can knit something as a devotional act to them and as a way to reach out. For example I pick up litter in honor of the Vanir and Jörð, or I play Skyrim for Thor and Týr.

Most importantly just be honest and up front with the god that you’re reaching out too. Considering that statement be honest with yourself as well. There’s no point going into a relationship with a god if you can’t be upfront, it’ll end up in nothing but grief.

“Can deities reach out through gods/signs?” They totally can. However, it is up to you and your intuition if a deity has and it’s not likely another witch will decipher that for you. Sounds, experiences, images, all have different meanings to each of us - they may show you something that’s very personal to you but would be mundane to someone else. Trust your instincts. However, please remember that not everything is magical, sometimes a raven is just a raven and not Odin.

✨Take everything you learn with a grain of salt. Including this post.✨

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[jennamoran]

The Far Roofs: Systems

Hi!

Today I’m going to talk a little bit more about my forthcoming RPG, the Far Roofs. More specifically, I want to give a general overview of its game mechanics!

So the idea that first started the Far Roofs on the road to being its own game came out of me thinking a lot about what large projects feel like.

I was in one of those moods where I felt like the important thing in an RPG system was the parallel between that system and real-world experience. Where I felt like the key to art was always thinking about the end goal, or at least a local goal, as one did the work; and, the key to design was symmetry between the goals and methods, the means and ends.

I don't always feel that way, but it's how I work when I'm feeling both ambitious and technical.

So what I wanted to do was come up with an RPG mechanic that was really like the thing it was simulating:

Finding answers. Solving problems. Doing big things.

And it struck me that what that felt like, really, was a bit like ...

You get pieces over time. You wiggle them around. You try to fit them together. Sometimes, they fit together into larger pieces and then eventually a whole. Sometimes you just collect them and wiggle them around until suddenly there's an insight, an oh!, and you now know everything works.

The ideal thing to do here would probably be having a bag of widgets that can fit together in different ways---not as universally as Legos or whatever, but, like, gears and connectors and springs and motors and whatever. If I were going to be building a computer game I would probably think along those lines, anyway. You'd go to your screen of bits and bobs and move them around with your mouse until it hooked together into something that you liked.

... that's not really feasible for a tabletop RPG, though, at least, not with my typical financial resources. I could probably swing making that kind of thing, finding a 3d printing or woodworking partner or something to make the pieces, for the final kickstarter, but I don't have the resources to make a bunch of different physical object sets over time while I'm playtesting.

So the way I decided that I could implement this was by drawing letter tiles.

That I could do a system where you'd draw letter tiles ... not constantly, not specifically when you were working, but over time; in the moments, most of all, that could give you insight or progress.

Then, at some point, you'd have enough of them.

You'd see a word.

That word'd be your answer.

... not necessarily the word itself, but, like, what the word means to you and what the answer means to you, those would be the same.

The word would be a symbol for the answer that you've found, as a player and a character.

(The leftover letters would then stick around in your hand, bits of thought and experience that didn't directly lead to a solution there, but might help with something else later on.)

Anyway, I figured that this basic idea was feasible because, like, lots of people own Scrabble sets. Even if you don't, they're easier to find than sets of dice!

For a short indie game focused on just that this would probably have been enough of a mechanic all on its own. For a large release, though, the game needed more.

After thinking about it I decided that what it wanted was two more core resolution systems:

One, for stuff like, say ... kickstarter results ... where you're more interested in "how well did this do?" or "how good of an answer is this?" than in whether those results better fit AXLOTL or TEXTUAL. For this, I added cards, which you draw like letter tiles and combine into poker hands. A face card is probably enough for a baseline success, a pair of Kings would make the results rather exciting, and a royal flush result would smash records.

The other core system was for like ... everyday stuff. For starting a campfire or jumping a gap. That, by established RPG tradition, would use dice.

...

I guess technically it didn't have to; I mean, like, most of my games have been diceless, and in fact we've gotten to a point in the hobby where that's just "sort of unusual" instead of actually rare.

But, like, I like dice. I do. If I don't use them often, it's because I don't like the empty page of where to start in the first place building a bespoke diced system when I have so many good diceless systems right there.

... this time, though, I decided to just go for it.

--

The Dice System

So a long, long time ago I was working on a game called the Weapons of the Gods RPG. Eos Press had brought me in to do the setting, and somewhere in the middle of that endeavor, the game lost its system.

I only ever heard Eos' side of this, and these days I tend to take Eos' claims with a grain of salt ... but, my best guess is that all this stuff did happen, just, with a little more context that I don't and might not ever know?

Anyway, as best as I remember, the first writer they had doing their system quit midway through development. So they brought in a newer team to do the system, and halfway through that the team decided they'd have more fun using the system for their own game, and instead wrote up a quick alternate system for Weapons of the Gods to use.

This would have been fine if the alternate system were any good, but it was ... pretty obviously a quick kludge. It was ...

I think the best word for it would be "bad."

I don't even like the system they took away to be their own game, but at least I could believe that it was constructed with love. It was janky but like in a heartfelt way.

The replacement system was more the kind of thing where if you stepped in it you'd need a new pair of shoes.

It upset me.

It upset me, and so, full wroth, I decided to write a system to use for the game.

Now, I'd never done a diced system before at that point. My only solo game had been Nobilis. So I took a bunch of dice and started rolling them, to see ... like ... what the most fun way of reading them was.

Where I landed, ultimately, was looking for matches.

The core system for Weapons of the Gods was basically, roll some number of d10s, and if you got 3 4s, that was a 34. If you got 2 9s, that was a 29. If your best die was a 7 and you had no pairs at all, you got 1 7. 17.

It didn't have any really amazing statistical properties, but the act of rolling was fun. It was rhythmic, you know, you'd see 3 4s and putting them together into 34 was a tiny tiny dopamine shot at the cost of basically zero brain effort. It was pattern recognition, which the brain tends to enjoy.

I mean, obviously, it would pall in a few minutes if you just sat there rolling the dice for no reason ... but, as far as dice rolling goes, it was fun.

So when I went to do an optional diced system for the Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine RPG, years later, to post here on tumblr ... I already knew what would make that roll fun. That is, rolling a handful of dice and looking for matches.

What about making it even more fun?

... well, critical results are fun, so what about adding them and aiming to have a lot of them, though still like rare enough to surprise?

It made sense to me to call no matches at all a critical failure, and a triple a critical success. So I started fiddling with dice pool size to get the numbers where I wanted them.

I'm reconstructing a bit at this point, but I imagine that I hit 6d10 and was like: "these are roughly the right odds, but this is one too many dice to look at quickly on the table, and I don't like that critical failure would be a bit more common than crit success."

So after some wrestling with things I wound up with a dice pool of 5d6, which is the dice pool I'm still using today.

If you roll 5d6, you'll probably get a pair. But now and then, you'll get a triple (or more!) My combinatorics is rusty, so I might have missed a case, but, like ... 17% of the time, triples, quadruples, or quintuples? And around 9% chance, for no matches at all?

I think I was probably looking for 15% and 10%, that those were likely my optimum, but ... well, 5d6 comes pretty close. Roughly 25% total was about as far as I thought I could push critical results while still having them feel kind or rare. Like ...

If I'm rolling a d20 in a D&D-like system, and if I'm going to succeed on an 18+, that's around when success is exciting, right? Maybe 17+, though that's pushing it? So we want to fall in the 15-20% range for a "special good roll." And people have been playing for a very long time now with the 5% chance of a "1" as a "special bad roll," and that seemed fine, so, like, 20-25% chance total is good.

And like ...

People talk a lot about Rolemaster crit fail tables in my vicinity, and complain about the whiff fests you see in some games where you keep rolling and rolling and nothing good or bad actually happens, and so I was naturally drawn to pushing crit failure odds a bit higher than you see in a d20-type game.

Now, one way people in indie circles tend to address "whiff fests" is by rethinking the whole dice-rolling ... paradigm ... so you never whiff; setting things up, in short, so that every roll means something, and every success and failure mean something too.

It's a leaner, richer way of doing things than you see in, say, D&D.

... I just didn't feel like it, here, because the whole point of things was to make dice rolling fun. I wanted people coming out of traditional games to be able to just pick up the dice and say "I'm rolling for this!" because the roll would be fun. Because consulting the dice oracle here, would be fun.

So in the end, that was the heart of it:

A 5d6 roll, focusing on the ease of counting matches and the high but not exorbitant frequency of special results.

But at the same time ...

I'm indie enough that I do really like rolls where, you know, every outcome is meaningful. Where you roll, and there's never a "whiff," just a set of possible meaningful outcomes.

A lot of the time, where I'm leaning into "rolls are fun, go ahead and roll," what it means to succeed, to fail, to crit, all that's up to the group, and sometimes it'll be unsatisfying. Other times, you'll crit succeed or crit fail and the GM will give you basically the exact same result as you'd have gotten on a regular success or failure, just, you know, jazzing up the description a bit with more narrative weight.

But I did manage to pull out about a third of the rolls you'll wind up actually making and assign strong mechanical and narrative weight to each outcome. Where what you were doing was well enough defined in the system that I could add some real meat to those crits, and even regular success and regular failure.

... though that's a story, I think, to be told some other time. ^_^

[lunaroracleofvenus]

Hymm of Healing - Pick A Picture

we will divine about how you can feel energetically lighter and more whole in all the ways that matter. There are four piles below 💚

LEFT TO RIGHT P1 -> P2 P3 -> P4

PILE ONE

First card to jump out was an oracle card of celebration. You are radiant and healing. Already complete and whole, now is the time to be whisked away into fun and pleasure. To dance with the wind, and embrace small and big miracles. To feel energetically lighter and more whole,, to put it simple, have more fun. Indulge in hobbies that bring you pleasure. Go outside, build a routine that you enjoy so much that you get excited about doing it the next day. Sounds mundane, but sometimes the most “unspiritual” thing is what’s needed to move your life and self in the direction you need to go. 

But yeah, engage with your solar plexus, and perhaps engage with your sacral chakra more too, to feel light and complete in all the ways that matter. Engage in the “I AM”. Engage with the fire element archetypically. 

I Am - Baby Tate

Pile TWO

Cinderella

For this pile, I am sensing a deep depression, or tribulation. Your surroundings or your mind seems very unmotivating/heavy/foggy right now. Despite this adversity I am getting a message of perseverance. To continue further, because you are greater than your current obstacles. There might not be an immediate solution to whatever the issue is, but I am being reminded of Cinderella enduring her difficult childhood. Having the mental strength to continue anyway. You are much stronger than you think you are. Suspend the doubt, and negativity, and believe in yourself and your future. Possibly cleanse your upper chakras, so you are able to see your situations or self more clearer. Also, you might be able to download a creative solution, or idea once you have cleansed. The upper chakras I am referring to are the third eye, throat chakra and crown chakra. But yeah, just to wrap up this reading, you are deeply resilient and deserve all the better days that ARE coming. Also, a more emphasis is being given on the throat chakra. Communicating your wants and needs, and saying your precious no’s and yes’s. Just taking more control of life in areas you can and mental resilience  will help you feel energetically lighter and more whole in all the ways that matter. You are not a doormat.

Superwoman - Alicia Keys

Worth Ethic - Toni Jones

Pile THREE

This pile took me slightly longer to pull a card.  You might be feeling like you are constantly searching for something. Or that something might be missing? Though, I think gratitude will enable you to feel energetically lighter, whole and complete. Nothing is missing.  You may be suffering with self doubt. You need to be more present, grounded and “cheer up”. There seems to be so much to be grateful for in your life. The throat chakra seems to be highlighted here. Lots of blue imagery. I think you may need to express yourself more. It might be creatively or personally, but yeah. Self expression, and gratitude will surely lift you energetically and aid you to feel more whole and complete in all the ways you need to right now. The peacock symbolism came up, so you might be experiencing good fortune already or its sure to be coming. Also it seems having more gratitude or kindness to yourself and circumstance might increase your good luck. You might be coming into some extra money as well. Symbolism prevalent: water, lake, peacock, blue, throat chakra, fairy, feathers.

PILE FOUR

To feel energetically lighter and more whole, I think you may need to tap more in your heart chakra and your ability to have faith. Just to have a knowing you are worthy of miracles and good things WILL happen to you. You might have a scarred emotional energy right now, scared of what could happen and the negative possibilities, but im hearing lean into faith. The universe or your guides will take care of you. This shift in mindset will really uplift you energetically! You will be provided with everything you may need. 222. You need to look more into the lucky girl concept or just adopting a mindset of being great, unique and lucky. Because you ARE those things. You might be glowing physically right now. And just a beauty. Just a small mental shift, and your energy will be divine honestly. You are gorgeous and amazing. 

Song: pretty girl era - Lu Kala

Goddess code - lizzy jeff

[spdrvyn]

i love my husband — miguel o'hara drabble

fluff. heavy inspo on this video.

sorry for the inactivity and the lazy ass title, exam week came around before i could even start on the next request and i did nothing but relax the entire break (which was only FOUR days) so i'll bring this out and see if i can clear my sched enough to actually do shit. enjoy!

the moonlit sky reflects beautifully onto the shining surface of your mug, filled to the brim of chamomile tea and flooding your nostrils with delight as your body melts into the couch.

work kept you on the edge of your seat for the entire week, it was non-stop meetings and non-stop emergency calls even outside of your working hours that had you so stressed. you were sure you'd picked enough hairs out to make a wig.

the weekend is truly a blessing, you want to stay as far away as humanly possible from your phone and shut yourself out from civilization before you come protector of debra's last minute files.

you missed the soft cotton of your pajamas, not like you haven't worn them in the past couple of days but to actually be able to appreciate what it means to wear them and the greeting of a good night's sleep had you sighing and moaning almost a little too much.

you worked hard, you definitely deserved this. you grab a spare pillow and tuck it under your head turning to the side and looking at the city that surrounded you, your patience and tenacity at the office has now been rewarded with the view you're able to appreciate.

however, the shadow that looms over the carpeted floors of your flat don't go away even after rubbing your eyes. you look up and a faint red glow in the symbol of a very familiar spider catches your eye immediately, you smile lazily through the glass.

miguel slides open the door with no hesitation, cape still drifting in the wind from what you can only assume to be his own previous working activities. you can sense the tension wafting off of him like waves especially as he stomps all the way over to where you are on the couch and looks down at you.

his mask isn't off, he's still fully geared, and all you can do is stare back into those lenses.

that is until he surrenders, body giving up, and his body flops right on top of yours. it doesn't really surprise you, there have been times where miguel has come home after a worse day of saving the multiverse and traps you in a hug before you can protest or move. though you've never really seen him do this before.

he adjusts his position, but still keeps his arms tightly wrapped around you as you move as well so that you're holding him back. his face is buried into the crook of your neck and the feeling of his nose tickling your skin tells you that he unmasked already.

not a single word leaves his mouth, you silently adore the way he's melted into you already, the way the muscles on his back rise only to slowly fall again.

you don't want to break the silence, neither of you do. right now, the only form of communication that matters is touch. your lips burning kisses into his curls, your nose now erasing whatever of your tea was left and making the way for miguel.

he shies away from your touch with a small groan, "i stink."

a giggle threatens to break out from the back of your throat, as many times as he would insist that you'd keep going anyway. "so when you do it, it's fine? i see how it is then."

miguel chuckles, he inches himself into you further. deeper. his breaths become less and less shallow, it's clear that he's taking his fair share of sniffs from you as well. "because you smell good."

"i ran a bath, that's why." one last peck to his head and you opt to just comb his hair instead, running your fingers through the strands and observing as they twist back to curl after brushing it some more.

both of you stay like that for a while, not saying anything, not doing anything, just being here. existing with each other. you always find moments like these beautiful, even when miguel is probably one work call away from shaking hands with the grim reaper.

in miguel, you've found yourself open to so many new experiences and risks you could've never imagined on your own. despite the many amount of times at the start of your relationship that he'd give you space and wouldn't be mad if you left, you kept still by his side anyway. you knew that he was worth it.

in you, miguel found that mundanity that he's never had his whole life. passing out on the sofa on his own never felt the same, most times he'd wake up still in his suit and would have to go to work right after anyway. yet with you, the stress ebbed away over time because he knew that you'd always be waiting for him.

whatever historians had with their relics, miguel had with you. not to keep them confined in a metal case, of course not, but he felt as if you were to be revered. kissed and touched with utmost respect and you'd bring the people their good fortunes and long lives. you certainly did for him and miguel might as well be immortal now.

his hands wander, fingertips delicately grazing over the skin tucked beneath your nightwear. he goes slowly, traveling up to your chest where he—

"miguel?"

his hands freeze, face going red. the guilt of possibly going too far is ready to break free from his heart and consume him until he can feel your body trembling with laughter.

"since you apparently stink so bad, shouldn't you shower first before getting so handsy?" miguel pouts at your comment, he already had the apologies locked and loaded for you.

"just a few more minutes, corazón."

[cupidcures]

When Tulips Kiss | Hwang Hyunjin SMAU

CHAPTERS: 𝜗𝜚 THIRTY-FIVE | THIRTY-SIX | 𝜗𝜚 THIRTY-SEVEN

WORD COUNT: 2.2k (not proofread)

better off

“Will you move over?” Beomgyu vocalized his agitation towards the young man in front of him, but he still didn’t budge from the spot.

The last thing either of them expected was to see one another here at Jisung’s place, yet here they both were, standing face to face.

“I’ll give her the flowers, thanks. What are you doing here, anyway?” Hyunjin grumbled and eyed him up and down in a somewhat indifferent way.

“No thanks man, I’d rather do it myself. Mind calling her down for me? I don’t wanna waste my time here talking to you when I could be with Y/N.” Beomgyu smiled fakely and tilted his head to look past his shoulder, making eye contact with Jeongin.

“Yo Jeongin!” He waved, “Mind getting this dude out of the way for me?”

Jeongin glanced between the two boys, deadpanning at their immature bickering.

‘There’s no way these two guys are grown…’ he thought to himself before shaking his head and exchanging a glance with Jisung, who was sitting across the couch opposite of him.

“You wanna go get your wife?” Jeongin joked as Jisung crackled in amusement before nodding his head.

“On it. Go take care of whatever is happening over there.” He pointed his lips toward the front door where Hyunjin and Beomgyu stood before making his way upstairs to grab you.

“Yo baby, I’m coming in, alright?” Jisung knocked on the door of his bedroom—where you were currently staying—before turning the knob and opening the door.

You were tucked inside the comforter of his bed, scrolling through your phone without a care in the world. You tore your gaze away from your phone and directed it to the quokka boy standing by the door.

“Sungie?” You mumbled and he grinned.

“Hey, wifey! The dude that’s courting you is downstairs to take you out. You should hurry, though. He and Hyunjin might kill each other with their glares.” Jisung approached you with light footsteps as you hooked your arm around his with a nod.

“Shall we?” You giggled and so did Jisung. “We shall!!!!!”

The two of you enthusiastically skipped out of the room and down the stairs, greeting the three boys (hehe Omar Apollo ref) downstairs with a princess wave. “Hey Jeongin! Beomgyu, Hyunjin!”

The arguing pair immediately stopped at the sound of your voice as they both turned their attentions to you, mesmerized and smitten.

“Y/N! Hey.” Hyunjin blushed and stood in front of Beomgyu, blocking your view of him.

“Hi Y/N. You look pretty.” Beomgyu pushed past Hyunjin and gave him a petty glare, which he returned with no hesitation. “I brought you some roses!”

White roses. Easy to spot due to their brightness and the way the light of the sun would easily reflect off of them. White roses symbolize purity and innocence. Beyond this, white roses are used in funerals because it is also a way to bid someone farewell. Being brought white roses was certainly new to you, but you appreciated the gesture nonetheless. It’s not like he knew and studied the flowers’ languages like you did.

Taking the flowers off of Beomgyu’s hand and bringing them to your chest, you thanked him graciously, “Thank you Gyu!”

He rubbed his sweaty palms on his shirt. “Of.. of course! Can I take you out?”

“Ooh actually… we’re all hanging out here you know… It’s a shame! Come back some other day.” Hyunjin responded for you, eye twitching in irritation.

The three other people in the room were caught off guard by his statement, and it bestowed an awkward silence in the tense atmosphere.

“Uh… yeah! Sorry Gyu, maybe next time?” You were confused, to say the least, it’s not like Hyunjin made plans SPECIFICALLY for everyone to hang out, the only plans that were made were between him and Jisung. But you still decided to hide his little lie nonetheless. You could always just ask him about it later, but you had a feeling you already knew what it was about.

“Oh. Okay, I see. Well, you guys have fun then!” Beomgyu offered a weak smile sided with a look of disappointment plastered on his delicate facial features.

“Actually! You could always just hang out with us, none of us have a problem with an extra person! Right, guys?” Jeongin spoke up before Beomgyu had the chance to leave, and his eyes lit up.

“Can I?” He asked for confirmation from everyone else. And by everyone else, he looked to you and Jisung, ignoring the look of disbelief on Hyunjin’s face.

“Uhh…” Jisung’s lips pressed together awkwardly, forming a thin line, inspecting everyone’s faces before hesitating, “I mean I guess it’s alright?”

“Great! It’s settled then, go ahead and sit down, Hyunjin was just about to put on a movie.” Jeongin grinned mischievously and ushered Beomgyu further into the house before closing the front door, making sure to lock it.

“Thanks for letting me stay over,” Beomgyu thanked enthusiastically and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, causing you to blush a little.

Hyunjin scoffed at the action and rolled his eyes, walking himself to the far end of the couch and picking up the remote to choose a movie to watch.

Jisung followed close behind and took a seat next to him, patting his back. Jeongin sat down on the other, smaller couch and reached for a blanket.

“What kind of movie are we feeling?” Hyunjin asked.

“Romance!” Beomgyu suggested as he sat down on the opposite side of the same couch Hyunjin and Jisung sat at, bringing you along beside him.

“Horror it is.” He decided with a monotone voice, resulting in Jisung choking back a laugh at his antics.

God, he was so petty. But it was humorous, who could get mad at that?

The movie started a little after Jisung turned the lights off to properly adjust the environment accordingly to the movie.

You were cuddled up against Beomgyu, more for warmth than anything. You couldn’t deny the attraction you had for the boy that pulled you in. You found yourself spacing out, deep in thought. This was something that occurred frequently whenever you were with Beomgyu. He made you dreamy and you would often drift away to your thoughts. He brought peace and serenity to you, so you were naturally much more comfortable around him. With his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and his head resting on top of yours, it felt like second nature.

All of the tension directed towards each other had died down, and it instead projected onto the movie. The jumpscares evoked jolts and screams now and then, often followed by the sound of laughter due to the high-pitched shrieks that would fill the air for a moment or two.

Everyone let loose and focused on the movie. Everyone but Hyunjin.

He did his best to enjoy the movie much like everyone else, but he would constantly find himself sparing glimpses into your direction.

He noticed the way you were snug against Beomgyu, and there was nothing he could do but stare and wish it was him you were with instead. He knew it sent pangs to his chest whenever you played with Beomgyu’s hair and held his hand, but still, he struggled with tearing his gaze off of you, and you never seemed to notice. You looked happy, comfortable. You were content, and maybe it would just be better off for everybody if he were to just back off and leave you be.

He was being immature, trying to keep the two of you apart—when it was clear that you and Beomgyu had something, even if it was only a little.

Hyunjin quietly dismissed himself to the kitchen to grab a drink of water with ice, his throat had gone dry as a consequence of watching the PDA you shared with Beomgyu.

“You good bro?” A hushed voice broke the silence in the kitchen as Hyunjin turned around to face whoever it was, the sound effects of the movie playing in the distance.

“Dry throat.” He responded as Jisung nodded slowly and skeptically.

“Uhuh… And you think I’m stupid enough to believe that? Don’t think I didn’t notice your little attempts at trying to inconvenience that dude she’s with. Beomgyu, is it?”

The two boys chuckled lightly. Hyunjin didn’t expect anyone to follow him, but he was glad that Jisung was there to prove him wrong and lighten the mood.

“You still in love with Y/N?” He pulled a bar chair from under the island and sat down, leaning himself on the table.

“Unfortunately.”

“Woah, unfortunately? It’s a privilege to love Y/N, buddy,” Jisung joked but cleared his throat right after noticing that he didn’t laugh along.

“Not when she doesn’t love you back,” Hyunjin took a sip out of his glass. “It’s hard. Unrequited love is hard.”

The faint buzzing and the bright light above stimulated his senses more than they should, inducing a headache.

“I was gonna try to win her back, not gonna lie,” he chuckled. “But who am I to do that?”

“What do you mean? Why give up?” Jisung pursed his lips and scrunched his face, confused.

“I lost her the first time because I was scared that someone was gonna take her away,” Hyunjin circled his glass around on the kitchen counter, creating a small vortex in an attempt to rush the ice’s process of making the water cold, just how he liked it. “I may not like Beomgyu—but to instill the same fear that I struggled with—in him, that’d be real fucking shitty, don’t you think? Now, I’m not saying he’s not secure in himself and in whatever they have going on, I’m almost sure he’s better than me when it comes to that. But just thinking of attempting to steal her away, when I know exactly how it feels to be scared of that happening, it doesn’t feel good. Makes me feel like shit.” Hyunjin inhaled deeply, watching as the ice cubes struggled to keep afloat with the miniature whirlpool dragging them down.

“Everything I’ve done for her, relating to her, it was all to do what’s best for me…” He trailed off and halted the movement of his hands, the whirlpool slowly dissipating. “I’ve been selfish and it has done nothing but drown me and add to my struggles.”

The ice cubes in the glass were finally resting on top of the surface, the water now still and calm, lacking disturbance.

“I love her. But I don't want to be selfish, not anymore. I want what’s best for her, even if it isn’t me. I need to learn to stop meddling with things just because I’m not satisfied with how it’s going. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. But I’m backing away, and I’ll do my best to move on.”

The outside of the glass was now moisturized with small droplets due to the coldness of the water meeting with the warmth of the air.

“I didn’t know that was how you felt.” Jisung grimaced at the thought of how he used to hate him for what he had done to you, when in reality, it probably affected him more. “I understand, honestly. I know what it feels like to have your fears and insecurities get the best of you. I think it’s really mature that you’re deciding to do this when you’re still in love with her.” Jisung got up from the stool and walked over to Hyunjin to pat his back.

“It’s good that you acknowledged your wrongs. Wanting to do better is already one step ahead, you’re already improving. I know we’re not close dude, but damn… am I proud of you. I would love to get closer. I appreciate all your efforts in trying to do what’s best for Y/N, it seriously warms my heart.” Jisung playfully placed his hand on his chest where his heart would be with a soft expression on his face—the two boys burst out in laughter after that.

“I love Y/N, platonically of course. And seeing how much you love her now? I was wrong about you,” Jisung hummed. “I’ll be right here for support! I have your back.”

He gave Hyunjin a thumbs-up, who then returned it with a smile.

“It’s gonna be hard to move on from her. THAT, I know. Especially since we’re still gonna be friends? Fuck, bro. I might just be setting myself up for failure.” Hyunjin laughed before bringing the glass of water to his lips and drinking it all, the cold water bringing a shiver down his spine. “But it’ll happen eventually. That way, everyone is happy. I should just leave it be. As long as she’s happy, no matter who she’s with, I’ll be happy too. It’s better off like this. And she’s better off with him.”

“That’s the spirit! Now come on, let’s go back to watch the movie.” Jisung placed his hand on the back of Hyunjin’s and pushed him towards the living room where the three others were.

a/n: THIS IS SO SHORT I’M SORRY LOL

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[vulpixisananimal]

(The characters Wren and Polaris belong to @fungal--wastes and @neoncityrain respectivley)

"Neeeearly there~"

(Isabeau was waiting in front of the homestead, so you decided to try something else. And that something else was breaking into one of the rooms from outside!)

(You were standing on Ramos' shoulders to get into one of the guest rooms on the second floor. You were digging your knife under the rim of a window to cut out the small lock. The rain didn't help, but Ramos was surprisngly sturdy.)

"T-take your time! I really wouldn't want you to fall a-and hurt yourself!" (Mira says, concerned.)

"Ha! Not like that'd be an issue anyways-"

"No!!!"

"H-hey careful, Isa might hear." (Ramos comments. They're right, gotta go quick. It should just be a bit more and. . .)

"Theeere we go!" (You say, smugly opening the window and climbing in.)

"W-what should we do, Siffrin?" (Mira calls up to you. You think a bit.)

"Try not to get touched? Maybe just be a distraction?" (You shrug.)

"We'll figure something out!" (Ramos gives you a thumbs up. You nod. Now, the room.)

(Small room. Single bed. There was a heavy looking pack by one side and a few clothes spread around the floor. There was a small desk with a well worn book on it, and a few papers. The bed was sloppily made, probably by someone who wanted it to look neat but still didn't want it to be a mess. There was a spear leaning against a wall. It was surprisingly chilly.)

(Whos room was this, anyway? Single bed, so none of your familys. Jans? No it would have more stuff, they lived here right? Not that bickering pair or bonded couple, you imagine they would have had a shared room. So that left that traveler.)

(Convenient!)

(You start at the pack, you had to move fast. Looking through it, it had a few changes of clothes, some rations, and a lot of things you didn't know what they were. Although they looked like something Odile would use. Maybe she was a researcher AND a traveler? Ha! Those two would get along. Some of the clothes looked wildly different, though. Fashion too?)

(You look up at the spear. . . Yep, that sure was a spear. Looked sturdy, long, and- dulled? Huh. The tip of the spear was blunt. Maybe it was for training.)

(Okay, then what about the papers and book? You go over to the desk and take a look. The papers were newspapers, a few letters from different people, oh it's research! They were all about the King and Time Craft. Didn't Odile say one time that scholars were really interested in Time Craft showing up?)

(None of the papers had anything you didn't already know about. You open the book.)

(. . . . . . Huh.)

(Flipping through the pages, you notice a lot of things. Theres a lot of drawing of landscapes, and people, and monsters. A lot of them had notes, too. That traveler must have a vivid imagination. There were notes about all sorts of things. Reminders written by the writer. And it looked like they were writing conversatons? Hmm. . .)

(You flip a few pages and stop. There's diagrams here. Measurments. Circles and symbols you didn't exactly recognise. Advanced craft? It looked VERY advanced whatever it was. You tried reading more, but it was getting more and more complicated. Maybe if you brought it to Odile-)

(You jump as a gloved hand reached around and covers your mouth. A second grabs you neck, both were freezing cold.)

"What the hell are you doing in our room." (You hear from a voice behind you. It sounded, very, very angry.)

(Ooooooooh stars oh that's, that's not good. Okay, okay you can deal with this Siffrin. And besides, you can also just try again. You mumble into the gloved hand.)

(Your assailant huffs, and uncovers your mouth.) "Quietly, now."

(Stars, what do you say?!?) "I-I uh, I-I was just looking around."

"Cut it!" (You feel that hand on your throat tighten, a familiar feeling.) "We are not in a mood for jokes."

(You hear the door to the room open and someone run inside, before closing it again. You smell mint. There's a new voice.) "Miss Vixul I- Who?!?"

"A thief, probably." (You hear, who you assume to be, Vixul say.)

"Unlikely, that is one of the Saviors of Vaugarde." (You hear the new voice say the title dripping with sarcasm.) "Although I suppose he could be both."

"N-nope!" (You squeeze out.) "J-just wanting to make sure the inn is s-safe to sleep in!"

"Lying." (Says the new voice.) "Miss if you could deal with this, I have to tend to Polaris."

"How is he?" (Vixul asks.)

"Befuddled still. Whatever is effecting his mind, it's strong."

(Wait!!!) "H-him, too?" (You mumble out.)

(There's a pause, and then the new voice talks.) ". . . Are others being effected by it, Savior?"

(You nod, frantically.) "M-my uh, u-uh, t-traveling companion, h-he, he's not himself right now."

"Traveling companion?" (You hear Vixul say in the same tone of voice Odile would use when talking about you two.) "Big buff guy?"

(You nod.) "T-that's why I'm here. It spreads by touch, a-and, I think you were the last to, to touch him, s-so. . ."

". . ." (There's a silence, Vixul speaks up eventually.) "You've dealt with this before, haven't you?"

(You nod.) "It smells like mint, spreads through touch. It changes your memories, or controlls you, o-or just, looks through them?"

"You do not sound very confident." (The new voice comments.) "But, that seems accurate."

". . . . ." (You hear Vixul sigh.) "I'm going to let you go. You're gonna help us with this, and we'll help you back. Don't even try to fight me, got it?"

"Can do!" (You laugh a little, your heart not in it.)

(She lets you go, you rub your neck and finally turn around to see who these two were- oh, three. The third person was unconscious and on the bed. You assume that was Polaris. The curly haired one was standing next to him. Vixul, was standing a few feet away, having grabbed the spear off the wall. She was glaring at you.)

(You breathe in, and out.) "Good to meet you two~"

(The curly haired one rolls his eyes.) "My name is Wren. This idiot is Polaris." (He says, gesturing to the unconscious one.)

"Vixul." (Says the tall one. Few words, huh.)

"Siffrin." (You smile at them.) "So! What happened?"

"Nope, you first." (Vixul says, glaring at you.) "You broke into my room after all. How do you know so much about mind craft."

"R-right. ." (You lean against a wall. Stars, where to start. Well, hmm, keep it vauge?) "Well, I experienced it first hand. Few weeks ago in Jouvente someone was going around messing with things."

"Details, please." (Says Wren, glaring at you.)

(Stars.) "Well. . . The person who was messing things was also being messed with. After sorting everything out, they uh, actually joined us on trying to find out who started it."

"Really?" (Vixul looked at you with a look that screamed dissapointment.) "That doesn't sound suspicious at all."

"I know I know!! Listen it just, made sense in the moment!!" (You shake your head.) "They still know some mind craft, and if they try anything they know I'll be after em."

"Stupid. If they know mind craft they'll just change your memory so you don't." (Wren retorts.) "You can't be that idiotic, right?"

(You wince, well, he WAS right.) "I. . . Have my ways?"

"There's a way to resist mind craft?" (He tilts his head.) "Tell."

(Stars above. Great. You look between the strangers you were talking to. No way you could bring THAT up here.) ". . . It's personal."

(You see Vixul and Wren give each other a look.)

". . . Fine, alright, how do we undo it." (Vixul asks, looking tired.)

"Last time there was a sort of charm that, once broken, dispelled the Mind Craft. It looked like a star."

(There was a silence as the two of them started thinking. You were thinking, too. Who was this trio anyways? They didn't seem like just ordinary travelers. You couldn't place Vixuls accent, and Wren seemed very. . . attentive.)

"So, what about him?" (You say, asking about Polaris.)

"Oh! Right." (Vixul huffed.) "Well that guy Isabeau, he went upstairs, came downstairs, said hi to me, hi to Polaris, Polaris said he felt sick, started acting weird, and Wren put him to sleep to take him up here. I got here first and found you and you know the rest."

(You nod, following along. So Isa started spreading mind craft after he went upstairs then back? Maybe it was someone up there who spread it to him. Then- wait a second.) "Why aren't you being effected by mind craft?"

(Vixul opens her mouth, then closes it, then looks away.) ". . . It's personal."

(Personal? What would be personal that could- oh.)

(Oooohhh. . .)

(She wasn't writing a conversation in her book, she was writing to herself. She resisted the mind craft. And she did say "we" instead of "I" earlier.)

(. . . . . .)

(. . . . Somehow, this makes you feel less alone.)

". . . Any other questions?" (Wren asks.)

"N-nope! That's all!" (You smile at them.)

(He nods, and sighs.) ". . . Then you should get going. Me and Vixul will look for that charm once Polaris is safe." (It was a very clear message of 'please leave'.)

"Sounds good to me~" (You say, walking over to the door.) "Don't be strangers now! Though, might want to work on your introductions."

"Same to you." (Vixul replies. Rolling her eyes.) "Try not looking through peoples stuff."

"No promises!" (You laugh a little. And open the door out.) "And if you need m- Oh!"

(Odile was standing in the hallway outside the room looking at you.)

(You wave to her.) "Morning, Odile! I was just-"

(She raises a hand towards you. What was she-)

<MOVE>

(You feel your body move on instinct at the sudden screaming inside your head. You jump back into Vixuls room You feel some powerful craft spell in the spot you were just standing-)

<Keep moving. Dangerous.>

(What?!? WHEN did you show up-)

"Oh what now!" (Vixul says, grabbing her spear and standing up.)

"I-I don't know! One of my companions, she-" (What WAS Odile doing?!?)

<Dangerous. A seal, or craft break, or->

(What do you MEAN?!?)

"She's likely effected by mind craft." (Wren takes up a position between the door and Polaris.)

(You see Odile appear in the doorway. She's not saying anything. She's sweating, like she's trying really hard to focus on. . . Something. She holds up a palm again.)

"Move it!!" (Vixul knocks you out of the and takes whatever craft spell Odile was using. She stumbles back.) "Hrrgh-"

"Miss Vixul!"

"I-I'm fine! Hey! Lady!! What's your problem?!?"

"Odile. . ." (You mumble, what, she's, being controlled too?!?)

<No time. Find a way out.>

(But, she, there's no way, right? She's too smart for that! She would have helped so much with this! And, a-and-)

<Enough. You look around the room. Window, Wren, books, Vixul, Odile, bed->

<Odile raises up her hand again, it looks like she's trying to say something.>

"Leave us alone, please." (Wren says, annoyed. He holds up a paper sign of his own, crackling with craft. You see Odiles spell get caught mid flight by Wrens. Counterspell?)

"O-Odile! What's going on what's, w-what-" (You stumble out.)

"That's Odile?" (Vixul asks, looking between you and her.) "I think she's trying to kill you, bud."

"B-but-"

"Go, Siffrin." (Wren says, preparing another counter.) "We will be fine."

(You open your mouth to protest, but your words get stuck in your throat. B-but, but she-)

<It's time to go.>

(Null wait, I- WAIT WAIT- WE NEED TO HELP ODILE!!)

<You make a dash for the window and jump out.>

[blackleatherjacketz]

Shadow and Sin: Chapter 10

Elijah Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson x Female Reader

Summary: Having recently moved to New Orleans, you get intimately acquainted with both Mikaelson brothers, but don't find out who they are until it's too late.

This Chapter: The powers that be reveal that they've been pulling the strings all along, and you're forced to finally choose a brother.

Warnings: Mature Content, Love Triangle, Klaus' Filthy Mouth, Violence, Blood, Knives, Cutting, Blood Drinking, Witchcraft

Word Count: 3.6k+

Read the rest of the story HERE

“Oh good, you’re awake!” A woman’s voice rings in your ears, echoing off the walls of the room that you open your eyes in. It’s an older southern accent, it’s pitch and volume signaling that she’s standing only a few feet away from where you sit, even if you can’t see her just yet. “You must be exhausted from entertaining two of the world’s most lethal vampires for the past few weeks. I’ll bet you needed that rest.”

“Excuse me?” You blink a few times and try to focus on what’s around you, noticing the chill of night and the steady drip of water leaking down from the roof a few dozen feet behind you. It drips in a slow, unchanging rhythm, surpassed only by the increasing beat of your heart as panic begins to settle in, stifling your breath along with it.

Oh great, you’ve been taken.

“Where am I?!” The smell of rust and sage surrounds you as the rest of your senses start to kick back in, your eyes now focused enough to take in the barren walls towering over you, flanked by rows of boarded up windows with all sorts of symbols painted on them as outdated newspaper clippings peel off their corners. It doesn’t take long to figure out that you’re in an abandoned warehouse out in the middle of nowhere.

“I almost feel sorry for having to put you through all of this, baby.” The voice comes again, this time curving around your right side as it gets closer with each click of her heels against the concrete floor. “Almost.”

You turn your head to look at her, to put a face to that voice which taunts you, but quickly realize that it’s the only thing that you can physically do. You can’t turn your torso at all in the chair that you’re tied to, the tightly bound ropes digging into your wrists, chest and ankles as you try to move your limbs in a painfully futile attempt at freedom.

Holy shit, you’re not going anywhere! This is bad… REALLY bad.

“What do you mean, feel sorry for me?! Did you really knock me out and bring me here? Kidnap me?” You ask, absolutely dumbfounded. “People still do that?” You have to admit that out of all the absolutely insane things you’ve witnessed recently, this is the most incredible. You expected there to be violence from your immortal suitors in your immediate future, but kidnapping? Well, you didn’t predict that at all. She must be one of their enemies, one of the people Klaus had trained his men to protect you from. Lot of good that did. “Who are you?”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter who I am, child.” The woman steps in front of you, her dark hair littered with streaks of gray as it falls down onto her shoulders dressed in a colorful linen dress. She holds a stick of sage in front of her as she chants indistinguishable words beneath her breath, the white smoke wafting off of it slowly thinning into the stale air around you both. “All that matters now is you and the part you still have to play.”

“Look, I don’t know what I did to offend you, or what ancient tradition I broke, but whatever it was, it was an accident. I’m sorry, I swear to God, I promise I am! I was on my way out of the city anyways, I’m not even staying in town anymore after today, so none of this is really even necessary! We can just forget about this and all go home. Both of us.” You try to plead your case as she continues walking circles around you, her chants getting a little louder as you notice the large ring of salt around the bulk of the room.

Shit. She’s a witch. Another one of Klaus’ warnings that you should have heeded… but how? What would you have done differently besides ask more questions about how to avoid them? Would he have even answered them for you?

“Oh honey, I wish it were that simple,” she smiles somberly, amused by your ignorance. “But I still need you to bring them here for me.” She sets her sage down somewhere that you can’t see, its earthy scent still lingering in your nostrils before she comes back into your field of vision. “Which shouldn’t be that hard at this point. I was planning on waiting a little longer before doing all this, planning to let you bond with them both just a little bit more, to really twist that knife. But you had to go and wise up, now didn’t you?” She shakes her head and laughs.

“What are you talking about?” You force your wrists upward again, testing the strength of the ropes one more time as their frayed strings cut into your skin, drawing little droplets of blood out in the process. “Wise up to what? Is this about Klaus, about Elijah?”

She nods. “A little slow, aren’t we, child? Did you honestly think that both of the original vampires could fall in love with ‘little old you’ at the exact same time? That it was mere coincidence that these two wildly different monsters wound up in your bed absolutely smitten with their little nurse?” She pulls out a phone… your phone that she had to have taken from you sometime between leaving your brother’s place and tying you up here. She holds it up to your face to unlock it and then turns it around to take your picture. “Smile for the camera.”

Wait, WHAT?! Is she saying that everything you’ve experienced in the past few weeks has been nothing more than a lie? A spell? A curse? But how could she do that? How could that BE?!

The flash nearly blinds you in your devastated stupor, forcing your eyelids to close as you hear her fingers type away on the digital keyboard of your smartphone, your eyes finally adjusting enough to see her grinning the entire time.

“You put a spell on me?” You venture a guess as your heart feels like it’s being torn in two, each tattered piece slowly sinking down to the very bottom of your chest.

How can what you feel for them not be real?

“The spell I cast is for all three of you, actually. It was the only way that any of this could work, and despite your little hiccup with the time frame, I think it will all work out in my favor.” She smirks with a tilt of her head. “Only one of them has true feelings for you, and you for them. But in order to find out which one, to break the spell, you have to choose one of them.”

“What? No… no, that’s not fair!” You scream shakily, the pain in your chest taking root in your stomach as nausea bubbles beneath the surface. You’ve already weighed the pros and cons of choosing one of them, and neither result is favorable. “Why are you doing this?”

“Why would anyone do this? You may have just moved here, child, but vampires and the Mikaelson family have been terrorizing the people of New Orleans for centuries; killing innocent people like my Charlotte just to get a meal, or simply for their own entertainment! I needed a way to divide their house, a way to tear their family apart from the inside out, and what better way to do it than with a pretty girl like you in their beds? Once they get here and find out the dirty truth, they’ll have no other choice but to destroy each other.”

“You’re sick, you know that?” Your lip quivers in fear, realizing now that you’re going to die here in this empty warehouse as you imagine the very worst ways for that to happen.

She puts your phone back in her pocket as it vibrates almost immediately, a smug look gracing her aging features as she glances up at you in silence, refusing to answer. She gives you a look that no one else has ever given you before, a look that shakes you to the very marrow of your bones; as if somehow you’re the answer to all of her malevolent prayers.

“Please!” You beg again, a single tear falling down your cheek as your sinuses begin to fill with a sick sorrow. You feel your heart race as the taste of bile backs up into your mouth as you watch her pull a large knife out of her bag, its blade glinting in the dim candlelight. “I don’t even know you! I’ll forget your face! I’ll leave them both alone, I swear, you’ll never see me again!”

You watch in awe and devastation as she raises the knife up into the air before cutting into her own palm, letting her blood drip onto the array of random objects and ingredients she has scattered on the floor.

“It’s too late for all that now, child. They’ll be here soon.” Her tone is cold and flat as she steps toward you, her blood glistening a ruby red on the blade before she drags it across both of your arms.

It stings at first, the piercing pain searing into each layer of your skin before cutting through to the muscle. Your own scream surprises you at first as it vibrates in your throat, nearly deafening you as it bounces off the empty walls of the warehouse. More tears stream their way down your reddened cheeks as she pulls the knife away, swiftly disappearing from sight as the pain from your wounds simmers into a low, heated throb. Your bound hands are unable to do anything to stop her or subdue the bleeding as it spills onto your thighs, staining your jeans a deep burgundy before the rest of it drips onto the floor in an off beat of the leaky ceiling.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

This is it, isn’t it?

——————

“It’s okay, I’m here now.” Elijah’s voice suddenly distracts you from the growing pain as it radiates up your arms, his nimble fingers making quick work of untying your right wrist.

Oh thank God, you think, just before remembering the rest of the witch’s plan. Uh-oh.

“Elijah, I’m so sorry.” You mumble, the rope digging deeper into your skin before it eventually eases up and releases your arm altogether.

“Shhh, don’t be sorry. I should have been here sooner. I should never have put you in any kind of danger.” His voice is tinged with a hint of fear and regret as he unties your other wrist and immediately bites into his, bringing it up to your lips to drink.

You open your mouth and swallow it without question, knowing that his blood will help heal your wounds and give you strength as he kneels to untie your ankles. You can feel it working almost immediately as the pain begins to dull, then subsides completely as your skin seems to stitch itself back together right before your eyes. You’ll never get used to that.

“There, you’re free.” Elijah gets up off his knees and reaches his hand out for you to take, a confused look knitting his brows together as you refuse to take it. “What is it?”

You can’t help but stare at Klaus as he storms through the entrance of the warehouse, his presence sealing your fate as he fulfills the requirements for the witch’s twisted revenge plot. His dirty blonde curls fall in front of his eyes as he takes in everything from your healing injuries, the tears on your cheeks to his brother’s blood smeared across your lips to tell enough of the story for him to clench his jaw in frustration.

“What’s all this, then?” Klaus’ tone is cold and dismissive as he waltzes toward you, noticing the familiarity between you and his brother while Elijah still reaches for your hand.

You remain speechless as you watch the wheels in his head spin, each cog fitting into the next as he puts all the pieces of the puzzle together, setting the blue of his eyes ablaze in an infernal, glowing yellow. But just as he’s about to open his mouth to speak, to yell and scream at you and Elijah, he steps into the circle of salt, igniting the candles that surround it with a nearly deafening WHOOSH.

Elijah flinches just slightly as the flames grow taller, turning reluctantly toward his brother, “Niklaus, what are you doing here?”

Niklaus? Who the hell is Niklaus?

“What am I doing here, you ask?” Klaus laughs, casually pointing to you as if you’re nothing more than a mere piece of furniture as you sit there, frozen in fear. “Well, I could ask you the same thing, dear brother. I just got a message that my lovely little protégé was being held here against her will, and here you are, so quick to swoop in and play the hero once again.” He smirks, tapping that pointed finger against his lips as he continues. “You know, I’m beginning to think that your desire to save her is fueled by much more than just your noble oath of ‘always and forever’.”

“Your protege?” Elijah’s breath catches in his throat as he looks at you before glancing back at his brother, eyes shining with the realization you’d hoped he’d never come to.

FUCK.

“You’ve been seeing her, too?” The hurt in Elijah's voice is everything you dreaded it to be, another painful stab in the series of a thousand tiny cuts that you’ve endured tonight. You watch him take a deep cleansing breath, shifting the weight in his hips as he tries to regain his composure before speaking again. “For how long?”

“Well, why don’t you ask her?” Klaus leans forward and grabs onto your neck with a nearly deadly squeeze, lifting you up so far out of your seat that your legs begin to dangle. “How long after I pulled out of you did you let my brother slip inside, hmmm? Did you even allow the paint to dry on your skin before letting him into your bed? How far did my come drip down between your thighs before you so desperately helped him out of his three piece suit, whore?!”

“Klaus…” You attempt to explain yourself as he squeezes even tighter, the betrayal in his eyes shifting to anger as your hands frantically grasp onto his fingers. “I didn’t know you were… it wasn’t my fault!” You gasp for air as he lifts you even higher, his strength so much greater than you could have ever imagined.

“I’m sorry, love, what was that? It sounded like you were trying to speak.” Klaus’ eyes glow gold again as the veins around them darken and engorge with blood, showing you a side of him you’ve never seen before as fangs descend from his canines. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Enough, Niklaus!” Elijah finally stops him, releasing his grip with a mere pinch to his brother’s wrist. “I don’t like this anymore than you do, but this is clearly some sort of… witch’s plot meant to trap us here. Perhaps we should focus on that instead of our menial transgressions against one another.”

Menial? Do you mean that little to Elijah? Does he even care?

Klaus stares at you like a lion would an antelope beneath its paw, ready for the kill at any point, but after what seems like an eternity of torment, he eventually softens. “Very well.” Klaus’ features return to normal before loosening his grip on your neck, gently lowering you back onto the chair as a growl brews just beneath the surface of his words. “After all, you always know best, now don’t you, brother?”

“She put a curse on all three of us! She needed to pit you two against each other!” You push your words out as fast as you can in your now gravelly voice, rubbing your palm across your neck to soothe the irritated skin.

Jesus!

“What else did she say?” Elijah consoles you with a palm to your cheek before pulling back a second later, feeling Klaus’ eyes on you both.

“She said that only one of you has real feelings for me. That I only have feelings for one of you. But we won’t find out who, we won’t be able to leave the circle until…” You choke up a little as they both stare at you with rapt attention. “Until I choose someone.”

Elijah clenches his jaw as Klaus huffs.

“Well, I say we get on with it then, love!” Klaus lifts his arms up in the air like the dramatic showman that he is. “Why waste any more precious time to chance?” He steps in close to watch every micro expression on your face as you wrestle with the pain and heartbreak of this zero-sum game that you’ve been forced to play with them. “Ticktock, darling.”

“I can’t…” you look into his eyes as he closes the space between you, your whole body trembling with the anticipation of what’s to come before looking over at Elijah for guidance. “I can’t possibly choose.”

“I see,” Klaus nods with a whisper, pressing his lips together as he pulls back from you slightly, his anger still simmering just below the surface. “Let me make it easy for you then.” He grins before instantly reaching back and snapping his brother’s neck with a loud CRACK, all while keeping his eyes fixated on you.

You gasp as Elijah’s limp body falls to the floor, your eyes darting back and forth between the two brothers dozens of times as fear immobilizes you completely, nearly paralyzing your lungs.

“I would have given you everything! Can’t you see that?” Tears blur in his eyes, making that deep blue seem a slight shade of green in the glowing candlelight. “How could you even think of choosing him after what he shared together? Just so you can be judged for every mistake, ridiculed for every flaw and controlled for the rest of your life? I would have let you be who you were meant to be! I would have helped you grow!” Those tears stream down his cheeks in tragic trails of saline, dripping down onto the floor as they mix in with your blood near his boots. “I would have loved you no matter what!!!”

His scream nearly shakes your entire body, triggering your lungs to expand again enough to take a gasping breath. You aren’t sure what to say, or what to do next, afraid that no matter what course of action you take, it will lead you down a road that ends up just like Elijah’s. So you decide to take a page out of his favorite book, to try to appeal to the monster before you.

“I was the one who had my brother look you up.” You confess, figuring you might as well tell him the whole truth. “I was scared that I was falling too fast for you, and I wanted to be sure that you were real, but when he came up with nothing… no driver’s license, no property, no nothing, I freaked out.” You pause and see the tension release a bit in his shoulders, urging you to keep talking. “I’ve been lied to a lot in the past, and I didn’t want to go through that pain again. I know now that I should have confronted you and asked you about it myself, but before I had the chance, we were attacked by those men warning us to forget your name. You can imagine why I didn’t come back to see you after that.”

Klaus’ maddening mask of anger morphs into a sullen shade of hurt as his tears curve down the outline of his pouty lips, reminding you of the champagne from the night you first met. He lets those tears fall down his face as he gently strokes your hair, searching your expression for any signs of deceit, but unable to find any.

“So you fuck my brother instead, thinking he’s the better, safer choice, hmm?”

Damn. So much for honesty.

“Klaus, please,” you beg, your tone changing to one of nervous desperation. “It was the curse, the spell… the witch, she…”

“And where is this witch now, hmm? How do I know you aren’t actively working with her to destroy me? That you haven’t been conspiring against me with my brother from the very second you stepped foot in New Orleans?” He cradles your face with both hands, an act that might normally be mistaken for intimacy, but in this case is clearly a threat.

“She was here just a second ago, I swear!” You feel your breath become more rapid and shallow as his fingers press against your scalp, this newly heightened state of stress dizzying you as he tightens his grasp. “Can’t you read my mind or something? Isn’t that one of your powers?” You offer up in a last ditch effort of transparency, hoping to God that all the vampire movies you’ve watched up until now haven’t led you astray.

He smirks as he watches you struggle, licking his lips before leaning in close enough to whisper into your ear. “I’ve got a better idea, one that’ll make your body choose once and for all.”

He bites into your neck without hesitation, pulling you in as close as possible as his fangs sink deep into your flesh, swallowing what little blood you have left. The pain is so much different than the cut from the witch’s knife, the sensation of his lips and tongue massaging your skin lulling you into a false sense of euphoria as you drift off to sleep.

------------------

Tags: @hcqwxrtss123 @hayleym1234 @derangedangel @spnaquakindgdom @natalie668 @arbesa-mind

[azumasoroshi]

suzume no tojimari spoilers ! hi guys im Insane

literature analysis brain is going haywire so here’s a bunch of incoherent ramblings some themes motifs and symbolism i love in this movie because AAAAAAA

Love and Sacrifice.

Obviously, but like the different kinds of love and devotion and how they’re never perfect and sometimes self-destructive but they’re so powerful and just waughhh. It was so important to me how after exploding at her Tamaki (suzume’s aunt, ik im not the only one who forgets names) was like “you know I don’t feel that way all the time, right?” like not denying that yes, she has felt exhausted of taking care of Suzume and sometimes wished she didn’t have to take care of her, trying to be the parental figure she needs while also trying to not encroach on her sister’s memory. It means so much to me that she didn’t deny those feelings but instead told Suzume that it’s not how she always feels, because loving someone means sacrifice and ewughghgghfgfh im not putting this into words well but htrggfhgf.

and ALSO the reciprocation of kindness with daijin - as thanks for the taste of freedom at last, and wanting to be with someone whom you love but not really comprehending that what they want (that “suzume doesn’t love me” killed me) and how by the end daijin helped her pull souta out and sacrificed himself for suzume because he really loved her ggrgfggfhfnfnch

And just. everyday love. This is kind of a mix of themes and motifs but every time we flashed back to the memories of whatever abandoned place they were in - the simple “good morning”s and “be back soon” and “it’s so hot”s made me choke up. the mundane love of Chika and Suzume in their newly found friendship, Rumi’s kindness in picking Suzume up off the street and her love for her children, Serizawa’s platonic love for Souta letting him drive these two crazy women with crazy beef for 7 hours across Japan, there’s just so much expression of love and the hardships people go through because of it and rhgrjgrjhgdhgjhb

Mourning and Closure.

Makoto Shinkai himseld said that he wanted to write a story about “mourning deserted places” (at least according to Wikipedia) so this one is all but textual but like yeah. the motif of opening/closing/locking doors and locking the bike and things like that? AaAAaAaa

To close the gates, you need to imagine the emotions of people who once lived there - i can only imagine what Souta was thinking in the abandoned bathhouse area, but hrhggejghw the school and the amusement park and the shots we got of normal life in tokyo before the worm revealed itself in the climax, it just. really speaks to the beauty of everyday life. im a sucker for that kind of stuff as both a psychology major and just a weird person who thinks “man i wonder what happened to this person for the past 22 years of their life that led them to be here with me in this moment” whenever i pass someone in the grocery store. Hodaka could let japan be flooded in weathering with you because of his love for hina, but suzume’s whole arc was learning about the common people and living their lives and embracing all the kindness they had to offer to herself and others and it really hits that like. of course she can’t just let tokyo get destroyed to save Souta, every person in all of tokyo is just like Rumi and Chika and Serizawa and they’re all people who love and are loved. She finds herself in Souta’s place as one who stretches himself thin between being a gate closer and studying to be a teacher because he loves life as well, and-

oops i forgot i was talking about mourning and closure

anyway the doors keep getting reopened because the grief never fully goes away and the worm of “calamity” is letting yourself be consumed by the grief and destroying the people around you and not being able to move on, and it comes from the Ever-after becomes ever-after is a place where time doesn’t exist and you wish you could be there forever because it’s where you can relive the events of your past, it’s where you can live in denial that time moves forward and you have to move with it, it’s where Suzume goes after her mother dies because she wants people to stop giving her condolences and just give her her mom back. “Ever-after” in itself is a “happily ever after” - a place where mortals aren’t meant to go, no matter how beautiful it looks. Souta goes there too because he is the catalyst Suzume needs to go back and face Ever-after - and it’s no longer beautiful, but it’s torn apart by grief and everything is in flames. The idea of a keystone as well, locking the memories and hurt away, is one that Suzume removes to relive her memories and puts back in place when she’s ready to move on. htrhgfhgfghfghf. she won’t let souta be the keystone because she refuses to move on without him.

Also both Souta and his grandfather tell Suzume to just forget everything she’s seen, but it’s too late for that because connections aren’t so easily forgotten. Even when Tamaki couldn’t remember telling Suzume she’d be her new mother, that doesn’t change that she cared for her for the next 12 years anyway. Suzume visits Chika and Rumi by the end, and obviously she’s never forgotten her mother, both because her chair was still in her room by the start of the movie and because she looks like her by the end. Even though relationships change, they’re never forgotten in the movie, and I think that’s beautiful, really.

(also cool detail: 12 years ago is when the tsunami that killed suzume’s mother struck. the movie came out in 2023, and the touhoku earthquake/tsunami that inspired this film was in 2011. nice)

Reality vs Fantasy

The scenes where Suzume goes out into public again following stopping the worm from destroying Tokyo were especially poignant to me. This girl’s been going on a fantastical adventure with her talking chair and talking cat, meeting nice people and making friends, excited at the idea that she’s doing something important, but after Souta’s gone she shuts down. Her feet are bloodied, her clothes are destroyed, and people keep giving her strange looks and calling her homeless because she may have stopped the worm but even without being consumed by grief, it still isn’t pretty or picturesque. Standing out in Japanese society is discouraged, as most of us are well aware, but she’s been doing nothing but that with all the running around and talking to chairs and flying through the sky she’s been doing. Without a concrete goal in mind, without Souta as company, she’s alone in the world of adulthood and has no one to tell her what she should do, no Souta to guide her through Tokyo. And without that confidence or charm, people don’t come to her aid like they did before. It’s only once she finds her resolve to save Souta, quite literally walking in his shoes/footsteps, that the next helpful stranger (Serizawa) comes in.

She could imagine those abandoned places as alive, but the truth is that they were abandoned and will stay that way - none of them miraculously revived by the end, unless something happened in the credits that I couldn’t see through all my tears. Reality will not bring those places back, but what really matters is how we carry the memories of those places with us? I think. man maybe it’d be easier to write this post if i had actually seen the end credits

this post is really fucking long so im calling it here 😭 makoto shinkai has done it again. goddammit

[theglamorousferal]

Persephone's Binding Part 13

Hardcover/Anger Management ship Sacrificial Bride au

AO3 Prompt Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

"Raven said she can be here in an hour." Dick prompted as he read the message on his communicator. He was hanging upside down from a trapeze set up in the Batcave after having run through a routine to work out some frustration.

The cultists had been frustratingly vague, and the guy who could read it had bitten his own tongue to keep from talking. The leader had said something about gaining a boon from a king for sacrificing a powerful warrior who already had death magic associated with them. As Red Hood is a powerful crime lord and vigilante, he was considered a powerful warrior. They're still not sure how they would have found out he was death-touched though.

What does death-touched even mean? Dick thought. I'll have to ask Rae when she gets here.

"Any luck with the book Tim?" He yelled out to where Tim was downing yet another energy drink while trying to read the book they had acquired earlier. A grunt of frustration and the sound of an empty can hitting the side of the recycling bin was his only response.

Dick flipped himself down and went to read over his shoulder. At first, the letters seemed like gibberish with a few things here and there that looked familiar. Dick reached for the book from Tim's hands, who squawked in response, but gave the book anyway. He rubbed his eyes and squinted at the page, and slowly the words started to make sense.

"This ritual grants power to those-" The letters seemed to move as he tried to read. "The more powerful the sacrifice, the more power gained." It was like reading a language he knew only part of and was trying to make sense from context clues. "Only one of our kingdom may be given as sacrifice." He turned the page and it showed two blurry spheres seeming to merge with each other. "The sacrifice is bound for eternity to the ruler of our Realms." He couldn't make out the subject of the next sentence. "-power will become twofold as their souls are bound to each other."

"How did you manage to read that? I've been staring at it for the last hour!" Tim had his fingers buried in his own hair in frustration.

"I don't know, it's like the letters moved so I could read them. Not well mind you." He skimmed over the pages again. "I'm still missing words though."

"Ugh, whatever, I'm logging what you've read so far." Tim moved over to the Batcomputer and brought up a report file to start filling out.

Dick leafed through the book, not trying to read anything as he was starting to get a bit of a headache from it and just looked at the sketches and paintings in the book. One page had what appeared to be a seasonal calendar. It had two solstices and two equinoxes. There were different symbols for each, likely holidays wherever 'our kingdom' was. There were two other symbols on the line, one moving faster than the other.

The sound of the Zeta echoed throughout the 'Cave announcing Raven's arrival.

"Okay, lets see if we can bring him home. Let me see the book." Raven demanded as soon as she arrived, floating quickly to where Dick stood with the book.

He handed it over and she began reading, sitting crisscross in the air. A notepad and pen that were on the desk next to Tim floated over, surrounded by the black energy that indicated Raven's powers. The pen began taking notes as Raven read, and it seemed as though she actually could.

"You can read it no problem? I had issues with it and Tim couldn't read it at all." Dick asked. The pan paused and Raven herself froze and looked at him.

"You could read this?" Her eyes narrowed.

Dick swallowed. "Um, yeah? It was hard to do, and I missed some words, but I could read it."

"Richard Grayson, when did you die?" Raven growled out.

Dick's eyes went wide and he swallowed again. "Um, a while ago? It was brief, just my heart stopping to keep a bomb from going off, I was resuscitated immediately afterwards." He frantically told her.

"Hmm." Her eyes narrowed further into a proper glare. "We will be discussing this later."

"Why do you ask?"

She sighed. "Only people who are death-touched can read this book. It's in the language of the dead. I'm assuming since yours was brief it means you aren't fully fluent. I was gone for however long it was between me being sacrificed and you bringing me back, so I can read it fine."

"So death-touched means someone who has died and come back?" At his question she nodded. "How would the cultists have known that Jason was death-touched?"

"It's a low-level necromancy spell, easy enough to learn." She turned back to the book before closing it. "So, good news, he's not dead, or at least, he still exists." She glanced over her notes again. "Bad news, he's been wife-sacrificed to the King of Ghosts." She sighed. "Worse news, is it's extremely difficult to summon anyone from the Realms as most beings there are extra-dimensional. It's going to be next to impossible to summon him back."

[begrudging-fudanshi]

Do you think Sakura will go back to the old town in certain arc ?

Assuming you mean wherever his guardians live(d), I hope not tbh. Wind Breaker is a very local story for its genre—as far as I can tell, everything important happens within walking distance of Furin—so I kinda prefer it to stay in Makochi as much as possible. (I have a thing I'm writing about this that I'll post at some point.) Based on what we know, I also don't really see what Sakura has to gain from going back.

If anything happens in this vein, I would actually prefer for Sakura's past to catch up with him in Makochi. Having some old enemy appear and threaten him would be a great way to show how far he's come, as well as to catalyze his progress towards seeing worth in himself.

I started sketching an example of how I might like that kind of arc to go and it kinda turned out a lot longer than I expected, so here's... uh... actually, I don't entirely know what this is. It's like a short fanfic mashed up with the meta I'd write about these moments if they were canon. Speculative meta? Metafic? Just a weird fanfic? idk 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, not saying this will/should be canon or anything, but it feels like it gets the gist of what I'd look for in this kind of arc.

(CW: abusive parents. Sakura's dad is the villain here.)

---

When Sakura was young, his dad was a petty criminal, street thug, and an all-around horrible father. When Sakura was 7 or 8, the man was arrested and sentenced to prison. Sakura's mom wasn't in the picture, so Sakura had to go live with relatives (leading to the scenario I've described previously), and afterward he hardly ever saw his dad—their only contact was when the man came to demand money from his relatives for this or that. As far as Sakura was concerned, once he moved to Makochi, his father was out of his life for good.

One day, however, Sakura's dad appears in Makochi, searching for him. He's somehow learned that Sakura has become a strong fighter in a town full of violent gangs, so he's decided that he's going to take advantage of Sakura to build a nice life for himself on the back of his son's hard work. Thus, he comes to Makochi expecting to walk all over Sakura and get whatever he wants.

When Sakura first sees his dad on Tonpu Market Street, he freezes, caught off guard by painful memories that he's desperately tried to forget. Even though he's come a long way, it's difficult to fully let go of the past.

Suo and Nirei are with him and can tell that he's terrified. Sakura mutters to them that this is his father, but he doesn't sound remotely happy to see him. The man tells them to go away, but they stand their ground, refusing to leave Sakura alone. This pisses the man off, so he attacks, intending to teach them a lesson.

Sakura's dad is caught off guard by Suo and even Nirei's strength, but the same goes in reverse as he decides to go all out. As Sakura sees his friends struggling, he jumps into the fight, punching his dad in the face (big symbolic moment!). The trio just barely manage to hold their ground until other Bofurin members start to show up. As their backup arrives, the man finally retreats, but before he goes, he declares that he's going to get revenge. He says that Sakura has forgotten his place and he's going to remind him what his life is really supposed to be like—he'll take away everything Sakura has and show him just what he really deserves.

What follows is a campaign of revenge, carefully calculated to destroy Sakura's life and take everything he has. (A campaign that I'm not going to detail right now, because my ideas for it are depressing and beside the point.)

Let's skip ahead a bit...

Somehow all of the threats are resolved, leaving only the matter of fighting Sakura's dad and kicking his ass hard enough that he'll give up.

Just before the big, climactic fight, Sakura gets ready to face his father one-on-one, trying to stay calm and steady himself. He's caught off guard when his friends jump in front of him and tell him to let them handle the fight.

"Get out of the way!" Sakura yells at them, his voice breaking. "He's... he's my dad. This is my fight. I have to deal with this." The most important word is the one he doesn't even think to say out loud: he has to deal with this alone.

Even with so many people around him showing him that he's loved, Sakura still ultimately believes that he's all by himself. Even though he's tried to rely on his friends to prove that he trusts them, in moments like this when he feels most vulnerable, his default instinct is still to shoulder the burden alone.

His friends can all see this clearly. More importantly, they can see that this is a battle that Sakura shouldn't have to fight on his own—or at all. He deserves to have someone stick up for him, just like he's stuck up for so many others. But they know he doesn't want to hear that, so they tell him off, instead.

"Your fight? To hell with that. We all owe this guy some payback for what he's done."

"C'mon, Sakura, let us have some glory for once. It makes us feel bad when you keep hogging all the action."

"We already know how strong you are—let us show you how much stronger we've gotten, too!"

"Plus, the way this guy treats you makes us really want to kick his ass. Don't tell us you're gonna rob us of that satisfaction."

Sakura sputters in confusion, not sure how to respond. His deepest reflexes are telling him to stop them before it's too late, because this is how he's always believed he would finally lose everything. If he can't fight, if he can't prove his worth through his strength, then what is he worth at all?

This leads to a cool symbolic moment: Sakura is standing there, watching all his friends walk away from him while making it clear they expect him to stay behind. In other words, he's seeing the scene that's haunted him for so long finally playing out in real life. How many times has he pictured this and felt sick with terror and dread?

In his heart, he always knew this day would come. The day when his friends finally saw through him—finally realized who he really was and what he was really worth—and unanimously turned their backs. That would be the day he finally woke up from this dream and found himself back in his old, real life. The life he was always meant to live. Hated by all others, worth nothing but his fists, and totally, utterly alone.

Except, in reality, this scene isn't anything like he imagined it at all. His friends aren't turning their backs on him because they're abandoning him. Instead, they've turned to fight for him, to protect him, just as he's fought and protected them. Not only that, they're doing it willingly—eagerly, even—with smiles on their faces. There's no hint of condemnation, no suggestion that they're doing this because they think he's weak. They just want to help him, in spite of his belief this is his battle to fight alone.

In chapter 138, Sakura says something very telling to himself: "If I lose now, then they—then I'll lose the place where they belong, the one place that they cherish and love. I don't want that. [...] I need to win and protect them. That's all that matters." He draws these lines so clearly between himself and his friends, placing himself on the outside looking in. Now, however, that moment comes full circle with the roles reversed, making the truth so clear that he can't deny it.

As his friends stride forward, Sakura suddenly realizes, in a way that he can't yet put to words, where he really is: He's not on the outside looking in at his friends in the place that they love. Instead, as they spread out before him to form a defensive line, he is standing firmly in that very place that they all want to protect. If they're defending him like this, then they're saying that he belongs in this place, too—and if that's the case, then he, too, is someone they cherish and love.

This realization cuts deep—even deeper than words, cutting into feelings that he's held for so long that he's never even thought to try to name them. It cuts deep enough to finally undermine and start to shake his most fundamental belief. He can no longer deny that his friends accept him and love him for more than just his ability to fight. Why else would they be lining up to fight for him like this?

More than that, he can no longer deny that what they see in him must somehow be real. Until now, he's always unconsciously dismissed his friends' most meaningful praise and kindness as simply wrong. Even if they thought they meant it, he just didn't see how it could be true. When Umemiya smiled at him and called him amazing (chapter 162), Sakura had felt like Umemiya was looking at a completely different person, like he'd made some mistake and confused him with somebody else. He could believe that Umemiya meant it, but not that it truly applied to him. In the same way, he viewed all their kindness and love with that deep distrust. But here, he can't bring himself to doubt all his friends at once. They're all too determined for this to be some kind of mistake or mass delusion.

In the end, Sakura's friends work together to stop his dad, thoroughly kick his ass, and send him packing. As usual for this series, that's enough to stop the threat for good.

Afterward, Sakura probably cries and undergoes a fundamental change in how he sees himself and his place in the world. It's not like all his past trauma is magically fixed or his low self-esteem instantly gets better overnight, but he's made a big step towards seeing worth in himself.

[goldensunset]

i love n but looking at his final team in bw again it is. so bad. peace and love <3 but also i think it’s such a great detail

like it makes perfect sense in the story that the guy who doesn’t even like being a trainer, whose whole goal is to put an end to pokémon battling, would be bad at battling. cuz it’s not like he has a lot of experience with it. yeah he didn’t build a competitive team he’s just doing this with his friends kinda like penny. the previous times you fight him he uses only the random pokémon he finds around him like he’s just summoning the nearby forces of nature for aid like a disney prince or something. in the end he’s got a random medley of mons and the only logical explanation is those are the ones he’s had around for a long time and was always going to stick with

like so what if 2/3 of his final team are weak to fighting, 1/2 are weak to steel, 1/2 are weak to ground, etc. it’s whatever. those are the friends he happens to have and he’s loyal to them. so what if their abilities are either useless with how he uses them (illusion, plus) or an active hindrance (defeatist). so what if he doesn’t even have a dragon type move on zekrom/reshiram they can use either whatever they want to use idk man. no held items? no problem. he’s not about that artificial sweetener microplastic man-made item life they are living like nature

basically like he isn’t gonna judge them for who they are or what they wanna do. they’re his allies not his tools he’s not going to betray his ideals even for the sake of having a better shot at winning. it’s his friends or nothing

like. n is the guy who looks at the small picture of things over the big picture. he was never going to be able to beat the player and become the true reigning champion and hero of unova who has the authority to shut down trainerdom forever without approaching that battle with a strategic mindset and/or boxing his friends. he sacrifices his larger goal because he would never want to be the hypocrite who treats his own pokémon like tools while preaching that other people shouldn’t

(makes him like the exact opposite of ghetsis who’s strong yet evil while preaching goodness. who in fact directly benefits from abusing his pokémon (max frustration hydreigon, enough said))

and in turn like… he definitely knew this. he talks a big game but there’s no way that in his heart he didn’t already understand that he was gonna lose to the player. like @claitea once pointed out in this post the archeops with the defeatist ability for example is kind of symbolic here. n is a smart guy he must’ve figured out like halfway through the game that he wasn’t strong enough, that it just wasn’t meant to be for him, that ghetsis didn’t really see him as capable or worthy of respect, something like that. and his ideals were wavering anyway after having seen the truth about trainers and their pokémon out in the world. in his heart he had already half given up but was too stubborn to admit it, much like anthea says

the other way to interpret this of course is that since ghetsis has been introducing n to all these pokémon that have been abused (perhaps even abused *because* they were weak) in order to manipulate his heart, n has been taking care of these guys in particular and therefore has been closely bonding with them as the friends he wants to battle with. you could say ghetsis also has an incentive to ensure that n’s team isn’t strong enough to defeat his own in case n decided to revolt, thus he wanted to introduce him to a bunch of super weak pokémon. and again like @claitea says it’s odd that n would have a fossilmon like why would he have a fossil or go somewhere to revive it. decent chance he got that from ghetsis

but also like ghetsis did want n to be the strongest trainer in the region so he probably was hoping n would still do better than that. it could just be that ghetsis’ plan therefore backfired terribly bc oops you taught your son to love and defend all the weakest and least loved pokémon regardless of what they could provide for people and then they failed to provide for him. go figure

so either ghetsis apparently thought n’s team was good enough for him to give his son the green light to go ahead like that (which like. he was almost right except the player is built different) or he secretly really was banking on n losing. so that he had an excuse to toss him out like trash at the last second because that was his plan anyway

tldr feel free to disagree with any of these points or interpretations etc but like i LOVE it when they prioritize subtle storytelling and characterization over objective quality when building characters’ teams