#there's still so much more to come though im excited
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Eek I’m the one that asked about requests, so excited you’re taking them!
My idea was fem!reader x whichever marauder you want (not Pete sorry not sorry) where the reader is flirty but not in a hitting on everyone and pickup lines type of way. It’s in a she’s very friendly, likes to give out compliments just cause she wanted to, and is just warm and open to people type of way.
Ngl im a sucker for some angst with a happy ending so if that somehow works with whatever idea you come up with that would be cool but no pressure!
I hope this sounds like something you’d wnjiy writing but again no pressure at all<3
I hope this has that kind of vibe you were going for! Thank you for being my first request - I'm very excited and very nervous for this. ♡
Sunshine Incarnate
Remus Lupin x fem!reader
1.8k words
cw: fluff, angst
“God, she’s such a fucking tease,” Sirius sighs, leaning back in a plush armchair in the library.
“Who is?” Remus asks, not looking up from his book.
“Her,” he answers, gesturing toward you. “Little Miss Sunshine herself.”
Remus’ gaze shoots up, first looking at Sirius and then at you. You were talking with some Ravenclaw boy, absorbed in the conversation and oblivious to the rest of the library.
“A tease?” Remus asks.
Sirius hums. “Whenever you talk to her, she gives you these eyes. Then she’ll give you some flirty comment and walk away. Fucking. Tease.”
“Don’t talk about her that way,” Remus growls, still not looking away from you.
“Remus, you’ve experienced what he’s talking about though, right?” Peter asks. “She sits next to you in Herbology.”
Remus has experienced the eyes that Sirius is describing. When you talked to someone, they had your entire attention. You were fully engaged. He’d also been on the receiving end of your compliments before as well; he replayed them in his head when he was feeling low. But Remus would be an idiot to ignore that you did this with everyone.
“Oh my god, I love your hair like that!”
“That’s brilliant! You’re a genius.”
“I haven’t read that book before. Is it any good?” “Yeah, It’s my favorite.” “Yeah? Tell me about it.”
It’s who you are. As Sirius had called you, you are Little Miss Sunshine. You brightened every room you entered and made everyone feel important. Remus didn’t think there was a single person in all of Hogwarts who didn’t like you. How could they?
“Remus?” Peter repeats, tossing a crumpled piece of parchment at him.
“Huh? What?”
“Wormy asked you about Sunshine’s eyes and you zoned,” James says. He’s busy working on an essay that the rest of the group had already finished.
“Of course. Yes. Although I think it’s called active listening,” Remus says, sounding more irritated than he intended. “Something you could work on,” he adds on in a grumble.
“My ears work just fine, thank you very much,” Sirius says.
Then his face lights up and he waves at you. You had briefly turned away from the Ravenclaw boy and Sirius’ wave caught your eye. You wave back, excuse yourself and make your way to the Gryffindors.
“Hi!” you say cheerfully. “Remus, that sweater looks really soft.”
His face flushed at your words. He could barely mutter out a thanks.
“What’re you working on?” you ask, standing next to Remus. You’re looking at the pages of the book he’s reading, hoping to see a title at the top of the pages but there’s nothing to go off of, not even a diagram to say if it was a Herbology or Charms book.
“That damned Potions essay,” James answers.
“Good thing you’re not too shabby in that class then,” you say with a smile. “Can’t be too difficult.”
James looks up from his essay to return your smile. “It’s not. Just annoying to do.”
“Annoying to do is my Divination dream journal!” you reply with a giggle. “Like I need a teacher knowing what happens in my subconscious.”
“I’d like to know what happens in your subconscious,” Sirius says, now leaning forward.
You give him an eye roll. “Become a Divination tutor and maybe. Remus, did you do that Herbology worksheet yet?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did. Yesterday.”
“Shoot, I was hoping we could work on it together. You’re so much better at Herbology than I am.”
“Oh, it’s not too difficult,” he says, briefly looking up from his book to give you a smile.
You’re already looking at him with those eyes and a smile. Butterflies take flight in his stomach. He has to look away quickly, despite not wanting to.
“Okay,” you say, bouncing on your toes. “I’ll see you later.”
As you walk away, Peter hits Remus with a roll of parchment.
“Are you daft?” he whispers, unsure if you’re out of earshot yet. “She was flirting with you.”
He shakes his head. “No, she wasn’t.”
“She wanted to work on Herbology homework with you.”
“Because we share the class? And I’m smart?”
“You’re daft,” James confirms.
The rest of the afternoon and into the evening, Remus is replaying the conversation. Had you been flirting with him? Actually flirting or being your kind self? Even if you were flirting with him, you’d certainly stop as soon as you found out that he was a werewolf. Sunshine incarnate could not be with someone who turns with the moon. He was Moony for goodness sake. But she had complimented both his sweater and Herbology skills in one conversation with only James also receiving a compliment. How had he earned two compliments over Sirius? With all of your kindness and Sirius’ natural charisma, you two usually bantered like an entertaining yet sickening tennis match.
“You know, the things I would do to her if she said the word,” Sirius says, bringing Remus out of his thoughts.
“Still on about Sunshine, are you?” James asks.
“Still on about Evans?” Sirius retorts.
“Would it kill you to shut up and stay away from her?” Remus snaps.
Sirius and James shoot him a confused look. He had been mostly quiet since leaving the library, but it was Remus. He just did that sometimes.
“Stay away from her?” Sirius repeats. “From Madam Sunshine herself? Why would I do that?”
“She’s the sweetest,” James adds with a smirk.
“Yeah, I know,” Remus grumbles. “She doesn’t need you assholes to bring her down.”
“I’m not bringing her down,” James says defensively.
“Just leave her out of your… fantasies.”
“Why?” Sirius presses.
“Just, it’s… it’s you,” Remus says, gesturing wildly.
“Yeah, and?” Sirius asks, leaning forward toward Remus with narrowing eyes.
“You’re messy.” Remus pauses. “We’re messy.”
“So we’re all staying away from her?” Peter asks.
“I, uh, I guess so.”
Remus couldn’t tell his three closest friends to stay away from her because they were messy and not include himself, possibly the messiest of the group. But, god, he wanted to be close to you. He wanted to hold you and be held by you. He wanted to kiss your perfect smile that was ever present on your perfect lips. He wanted to be the reason your gorgeous eyes lit up. He wanted you to look for him in the room. He wanted you to be his sunshine.
Sirius shares a knowing look with James and Peter that Remus misses. Though he had tried to be subtle, his friends know when Remus is down bad, and he is for you.
---
In Remus’ presence, you’re no longer a topic of discussion. The boys successfully steer all conversations away from you. Remus doesn’t think anything of it, assuming they actually listened to him and are staying away from you and all your perfectness.
That is, until you walk over and sit next to Remus at lunch. You set your books down gently and give the boys a smile.
“That’s our cue to leave. See you in Dark Arts, Moony,” Sirius says with a grin. James and Peter follow him away from the table, leaving you alone with him.
“That was… weird,” Remus mumbles, watching them leave before turning his attention back to you.
He tries to hide the confusion on his face, but you see it anyway.
“Did you not… did you not ask me to practice nonverbal spells with you?”
Remus stares at you blankly. “No?”
You pull out a piece of parchment and hand it to him.
“I got this at breakfast.”
It was a note, in Sirius’ handwriting no less, asking you to meet at lunch to practice spells. When he looks up from the note, you are biting your lip with a hopeful look on your face.
“Even if it’s not from you, would you mind practicing? I’m rubbish at them and, well, you’re great at everything.”
Remus feels his face heat at the compliment.
“You’re not rubbish at them.”
“No, I really am! I try them all the time and they never work! I’ve tried to levitate notes to you in Transfiguration and the stupid notes never lift more than a centimeter off the desk!” you ramble.
“Notes… to me?”
It’s your turn to blush. You had never successfully passed a note to him. The notes that never made it to him often had compliments on them; the most recent had been to ask him to Hogsmeade. But when you continuous failed to get them to him, you had taken that as a sign from the universe that it wasn’t meant to be, but you weren’t one to give up easily. Maybe you were misreading the signs and you needed to go to him for help. So when you received the note from fake Remus, you were over the moon.
“Oh, yeah. Just little comments about lessons. Nothing too important,” you lie.
“You were trying to give me notes…” Remus mutters, still in disbelief that you were writing notes to him in the first place, even if they were ‘little comments.’
“Yes?”
You’re not sure what gives you the boldness, but you dig through your bag again and pull out some of the notes. You’re not sure why you kept them, but you did.
“Okay, little comments, yes. About the lessons, not really.”
You hold out one for him to take.
You mastered teacup to gerbil quickly. You’re amazing!
“That, uh, that should be the first one.”
His hands are shaking as he reads it over and over.
“You kept them?”
You nod, a little unsure. He reaches out and takes the rest from your hands. You feel your blush grow as he reads each other. It’s only a slight comfort that his blush is also increasing with each note.
He looks up at you with a curious expression that’s topped with hopeful eyes.
“You were going to ask me to Hogsmeade?”
You open your mouth to speak but words don’t come out. You nod.
“If the offer still stands, I’d, uh, I’d love you. I’d love to. Ahem. I’d love to go to Hogsmeade with you.”
You’re certain your face is as red as his.
“This weekend then?”
“Yeah,” he breathes.
You lean in and kiss his cheek, your own boldness surprising you yet again.
“We can, erm, work on nonverbals later. I’ll see you later, Remus.”
He watches you leave the Great Hall in a hurry. His hand slowly comes up to touch the spot where you had kissed him. Maybe, just maybe, you had been flirting with him.
---
“How did that go, Moony?”
“You are bastards. All of you.”
“How did it go?”
“She kissed me,” he says, still blushing furiously.
“I told you!” Sirius cheers. “I told you he was projecting.”
“Projecting?”
“Mate, you called us messy. I mean, yeah, we are, but it’s your tell.”
#marauders fic#marauders#remus lupin fic#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x reader#requests#marauder-misprint
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and thus, the first part of this story has come to an end...
...and it is time for me to take a break and work on how i want the second half to go :)
#my writing#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#ominis gaunt#anne sallow#ugh im emotional over this!!!#its really like!! halfway there!!#and the ending is wrapped up so nicely#there's still so much more to come though im excited#nanowrimo is kicking my ASS
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#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#herovamp.❤️#im sooo excited for all of them and im a little writers blocked and i cant pick so ill ramble in tags!!#💾 is an au where they bond over a fictional gashapon collectibles line on an online collectors forum!’#shoto is a trans girl and she changes her name to shouka -> this is actually pretty consistent across my fics lol#ochaco is really encouraging and supportive as a friend and excited for shouka to visit her though this is kind of misguided because she is#ultimately encouraging her best friend to run away from home LMAO. theyre like super close and consider each other family like ochaco would#adopt that girl as a sister in a heart beat#theyre cutes#very much a focus on pre canon shouka’s relationship with her family aince its through her pov#🤼♀️ was originally based off of the betrayal toni storm and mariah may promo#one that i like a lot#but since ive been watching some early jon moxley stuff like ipw style i really liked the idea of getting more brutal with it#im still going with a sort of midnight as a mentor figure idea and mt lady wanting the glory of her spotlight in their promo#they get really nasty with it#but they have to balance it woth their secret behind the scenes relationship!!!!#like how do you balance that violence with the tender nature of your actual relationship#📖 is my cute little rarepair idea. i like the idea of nejire having massive gay panic over being 18 and being able to work with beautiful#lesbian pros. really funny to me#i wanted to put them in a modern setting with some magical elements i think. just because its something different!#nejire as a college bookstore worker. ryukyu as an artisanal book maker and seller. she gets nejire to intern/apprentice with her and it#turns out the books are made magically!#🎭 kind of obsessed with this one#shouka is tormented by her usual torments. all might has stepped down as number one.#earlier. he’s been restoring a theater as a community project. izuku is really into this and he gets his friends from 1a into it#shouka is like. im not doing thay. but eventually she ends up coming along and slowly she makes friends through the power of theater. maybe#discovers that she doesnt want to be a hero. opens up. discovers herslf. im obsessed with this one.
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Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌
#this keeps happening to me with the upcoming december#miki and kiyoteru sv.....im so excited...if they get delayed ill scream#jk jk ill be fine but i do hope we get some demos in November soon!#soyogi still doesnt have a concrete release date but hes also probably december#now if HE gets delayed i will actually explode. i will spontaneously burst into flames#the other night i had a dream about aivoice2 ryuusei coming out. which is a normal thing to happen#it literally was just like i went online and saw videos people made with him SHDBFBSJFNFN#premonition dream...this is what will happen in november#but it reminded me i wasnt as familiar with how aiv2 sounds with a2sync. i like the aiv1 kotonosync situation#BUT it is very noisy and the vocals usually sound like lalavoice with the slightly obvious looping#which is charming but not as versatile in the grand scheme of talk synths made to sing#just the nature of it. but a2sync sounds FANTASTIC i was really shocked. im curious how his#particularly deep voice will sound compared to a more medium gentle tone like iori but im excited#im really curious how he'll sound compared to vv humming ryuusei#now what weve seen of his design.....im not suuuper into quite yet. its not BAD and well see when its fully out#but i dont care for the blue hair bits. im picky about hair dye in alternate designs#i like his gray black default situation too much. also i DO like how slutty his design is looking#but also it might look um. a little too much for a talk synth? like brother whats going on here#why are u so dressed up to chat ....i guess for fun#then again his aiv1 design was also probably more appropriate for singing synths rather than talking But I like that one more LOL#doesnt matter too much for me though im more interested in the unofficial singing side stuff AHDBFHSHFBDJJD#which also reminds me i hope someday aiv1 vy series can get a aiv2 update#a full singing synth would be nicer but i wouldnt mind a talk turned singing synth. i know everyone hates the aiv vy designs#i dont hate them theyre not great but theyre fine for talk synths. i think nancy is hilarious. white woman jumpscare#im not a huge fan of the main fanon vy designs (theyre good but they dont fit to me) so i dont mind the aiv ones#even if its just two random people SHBFJFAJFJFJSJJF but yeah i hope they get a aiv2 someday#i think it would be fun to make em sing with a2sync hee hee#also on the ll end i am so excited for dia birthday album end of dec#AND all the new liella tunes. i still havent watched the new season because i havent been able to sit down and enjoy it yet#but soon....next week ill have time...sooooooon
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just found the ash lake in ds1 for the first time. god damn.
#wheeltext#dark souls posting#like i had found the great hollow but i forgot to actually gonna through it#its insane to me how there are still things i havent seen in ds1 like i know i havent finished the dlc but in the main game??#anyway ash lake is fucking beautiful the environment is insane the hydra??? yhe fucking hydra????? i didnt know there was more than one in#the whole game!!! and its mobile???? the bitch jumps????#THE ARCHDRAGON?????#im used to getting spoiled for everything in a souls game at this point so seeing this was nuts it made me so happy#i had also never seen the area in darkroot garden with the red frog mushroom things before which also blew ny mind on a much#much smaller scale#im numero uno thalassaphobe and deep water scares the piss out of me so this area was very effective#the roots/branches you see coming out of the trees way above you look just enough like the hydras heads and tails to make me wonder if#there were more floating above#the skull was kinda weird though#is it supposed to imply there was a before even before the age of the dragons? with big tooth guys#mixed feelings on that but still!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!
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SO UHHH IA GANG.... HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THIS
#homohollers#item asylum#10 hour burst man#dude 10hbm lore drop was not what i expected but#IM GONNA MAKE SO MUCH FUCKING ANGST OUT OF MY THEORIES FROM THIS.#i saw a comment in the description of the song saying this might be alluding to when you bird up in 10hbm??#i noticed some similar instruments from too many trumpets in the song too#they also pointed out that both the apocalypse bird and 10hbm live in a dark forest#and they both wield the twilight and its peace for all#im noticing some slight similarities to another leaked song i cant talk about#this definitely sounds like a 10 hour burst man stress theme though#it sounds sad but also panicked#as if hes having a breakdown in the form of a song#the melodies also sound slightly distorted and choppy#adding to the idea of this being a stressful song#apparently the original name of the song is also “sounds of the painted sword”#a painted sword/clayman p run song converted into 10 hour burst man??#thats certainly scary#the fact that the video is also filtered with red adds to the idea of a clayman connection here#this is honestly a pretty funny idea of there being a 10hbm/clayman song with painted sword connections because#i once. clutched a public server 10hbm round with painted sword. when he still had like 2000-1000 hp#i love LOVE 10 hour burst man more than any of the other bosses#and i love aden mayos music even more#i will forever be making theories about her music#im pretty sure now i have good reason to believe that new jgns bosses and possibly even updates to old bosses are coming in the next update#ive never been more excited#oh also something else#this gave me a new headcanon for 10hbm#he cant. speak very well. so he speaks slowly and slightly broken#the 10hbm activation voiceline also sounds very crunchy
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finally accepting i am a gay man rather than whatever i thought i was is explaining a lot about everything to the point it’s actually making me angry. like man. man i guess it was very fucking obvious to everyone except me huh
#ftm#trans guy#trans gay man#like OHHH that wasn’t a weird mix of hatred and excitement#it was literally desire#i just process every strong emotion i have as anger#and i wasn’t a butch lesbian#i just felt most like a man when i could be the more masculine partner#even if i couldn’t pass for a cis man#which made me not even want to try#and then obviously i’d not want to be GAY as a man on top of that because then i might STILL be the feminine partner#and idk i just was less affected by lesbophobia because lesbians tend to be mocked by portraying them as manly#which obviously i didn’t mind#but the internalized homophobia ON TOP of the internalized transphobia is too much for me#im a coward and i like living in the comfort of ignoring my problems#despite all that i feel happier than i have ever been though#it’s like i finally slipped into my own skin#just wish gay transmascs would talk about the denial and shame more because then i might’ve realized sooner#but online algorithms kept feeding me only lesbians doing so#and i kept liking it because i was like#‘i relate to SOMETHING in what you’re saying but im not so sure what it is’#because i’m blind#actually come to think of it i might not have noticed if trans men spoke of this more often#because i would have covered my ears#anyway#whatever i guess i figured it out now#if only transition weren’t so expensive#at least i look like my dad already anyway
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🎀 🎀 🎀
#hi cuties! just doing a quick little check-in since it's been a minute ✨#still not really checking tumblr cause there's just too much going on and i'm trying to find some joy here getting settled in a new home!#i do check here and there though so if you wanna hit up the IMs i'll for sure get back to you!! 💕#ANYWHO: things are going okay! kinda same old but just trying to enjoy what i can and take a day at a time#started talking to a recruiter today and she was so sweet (and my age which is a bonus) so i'm hoping she'll be a good help ...#... in the old job search (while i keep looking on my own as usual of course) but still! having someone who's JOB it is to search for me??#feels promising??? i hope!#(even tho in all honesty this job search stuff has been peak deflating and depressing but! we keep movin!)#i'm also super excited that my mom is treating me for xmas/my bday to a trip to london to visit my best friend#(since they weren't actually able to come visit for the holidays sadly) but i think it's gonna be special and healing 😌💕#i think that covers most of the things!! pretty pleeeease come hit me up on discord!!#i would love to chat and write more there and have servers and all that fun stuff so don't be shy!#love and miss you all so much *big hugs to the dash*#00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )
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Okay I can't post it until next week at the earliest and NEED to get this off my chest between now and my next longer reply because of stuff we were talking about:
Confirmed in one of my livestream clips there's been actual consideration towards Mine having survived. It's just a matter of his voice actor's availability and wanting to do it right if they end up doing it. We really could see Mine back in the main series.
And I recorded that clip based on something I misheard and didn't register that part at all until now. How Are We Doing Tonight
(Speaking of, get well soon!! I was sick myself the past couple of weeks, it's awful)
me waiting for the absolute millisecond yokoyama drops the 100% Mine Survived The Fall statement
#snap chats#ON THE REAL THOUGH HELLO ?#hang on i need to put my thinking cap on after i threw it across the room excited#OK so i recall yokoyama(? im p sure it was yokoyama lik 99% sure it was him) talked about the concept of mine being alive#i think i still have the tweet bookmarked and while he didnt blatantly confirm it he did kind of allude to it#EITHER WAY ive gotten hope from the idea of mine being alive before#BUT IF THIS IS CREDENCE TO FURTHER CONFIRMATION i might just explode. i MIGHT just be even MORE insufferable#this is such a funny case though like i love how the status of mine's mortality is treated like an actual missing person's case sometimes#Area Man That Went Missing In 2009 Has Finally Been Found Alive#im holding off on the Mine's Alive memes until theres a Confirmation confirmation#i dont even care if he comes back in the main games (yes i do im lying) just the idea that's he's out there would satisfy me for now#if mine was just a local cryptid in the rgg franchise that would be JUST as funny oh my god actual zhao in judgement type beat#BUT THANK YOU FOR THE INFORMATION I CAN SEE WHY YOU'D WANNA SAY SOMETHING NOW#IF YOU GET THE CLIP OF THAT READY LIKE OBVI ID LOVE TO SEE IT ?? MY STARS#gonna think of this all night.. mine should come back so i can be even more annoying#and thank you- i hope you're feeling better from your sickness now !#i think im starting to feel better- i just have to stay inside more i guess#when i was at school there was pretty much no foliage so my allergies werent as bad#but back home theres nothing But foliage im gonna throw up ☠️
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cops disbanded forever because the attempted arrest of a skeleton and a cat resulted in the cars being crushed by their huge tits
let's get arrested. together.
#ask#raidendotcom#i hope i dont regret typing that one day#my brains a mess cause i was talking to a friend while listening to waynes novelai stream. i have a slight headache#as i was talking to them i could feel as if what i was typing was starting to become gibberish#i am still recovering#raiden do you think itd be cool if kiryu had big naturals. sorry ive been watching a lot of yakuza videos.#or would majima be more befitting#their astral game must be off the charts i think.#sorry raiden if you cant answer. but im diffefent. whatevrer#after answering this im going back to watching yakuza kiwami 2#the ragdolls in the game offput me a little bit but i think throwing them off the screen makes up for it#though the battle music keeps fucking me up cause its the one they used in the one scene in the grand of yakuza 0#its a good song but it feels like it should only be played that once#so hearing the piano for thugs and yakuza on the streets everytime is offputting#but i dont mind it as much now that im getting use to watching it#im excited for yakuza 8 and the other game that comes out this year involving joryu#anyway i didnt mean to hyperfixate on yakuza while were talking about our fucking bobbies. im SORRY#thank you for the ask boobies. i mean breasts. i mean raiden. smile. then evil smile. :) >:) <- for reference
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looking thru my blog is WEIRD gamers. cuz like!! i used 2 post art like literally every day!!!!! and now i can only get something digital out once every couple of months, which is weird 2 think about cuz i HAVE been drawing almost every day still!! its just on paper :P i only ever rlly have the motivation 2 do physical art just cuz i do it at school and i don't have any energy 2 do artsy shit after school. I think i've been improving a lot lately which is super fun though!!!!!! I forgot where i was going with this lol. but stay tuned gamers!!!!!!!!! big doodle dump coming 2 a blog near u very soon!!!! and also more digital stuff as soon as i figure out how to draw non-anthropomorphic animals (just u WAIT once i figure this shit out im gonna draw sooooo many sparkledogs. i have sooooooooooooooo many ideas i just gotta figure out how dogs work)
#stretch speakz#in other news: recently ive been getting SOOOOOO antsy waiting 4 a p-2 release date. im gonna go fuckin insane!!!!!!!#in getting diagnosed and being able to interact with lots and lots of other autistics#i can safely say that special interests are NOT this intense for other people!!!!!!!!!! which is weird just cuz it makes so much sense 4 me#so i figured that was liek... THE main factor of having one!!! but no!!!!#other people can think about shit other than their special interests for more than 30 minutes!!!!!!! what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this isnt a bad thing of course!!! maybe im making it sound bad#i like it though :]!!!!!!! i like being my specific flavor of autistic i like getting so so so so so excited about the things i like!!!!!#speaking of getting so so so so so excited. EMPATHY#im a very emotional person as u all know probably!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but when it comes to bad things that happen. 2 me or 2 other people#2 me it isnt hard 2 talk about bad or traumatic things!!!!! its just me stating a fact#so i dont feel sadness very deeply when bad things happen#especially 2 other people#but i get SO excited and happy when good things happen!!!!!#which isnt good or bad!! its just a thing#but i still like it!!!!! in sorta the same way i like being trans#im rambling lolz. sorry X] im not reading any of this over so if it doesnt make sense. oops!!!! i guess!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#delete later#every week is the same as the last. i need it to change. please#and not in a worse way again. i need it to change for the positive. please.#im going to be in my hometown in a week. i dont want to. but i need to. i dont wantttt to. i wont have a living situation sorted and#they're going to be weird about it and i don't have the ability to field that stuff positively bc all my positive thinking is going into#not having a breakdown so its gonna fucking suck. and im sngry and feel guilty im not moving closer but i caaaaaant without#things getting way worse mentally but i feel terrible about it bc i feel like i dont have an excuse for living so far away now#even though i dont NEED an excuse but i wish i had one. and im not allowed to die which is fucking annoying but its still working#as a coping mechanism so thats fine. im also. really upset that the insect thing ive been looking forward to for months i cant do.#it feels like a real kick in the face for wanting something. it was like my one thing to be excited for when everything felt#like it was falling apart abd then things fell nore apart and instead of insect joy im going to visit family and bask in that pool of grief#so. that's great. its just shit. and the only emotion i currently have access to is frustration and a bit of grief so thats also#not ideal. and im both dissociating so much and am painfully present which is a fun combo. shit just sucks abd theres no way out#currently. so i gotta go through it but im bad at that so im just miserable. might try to figure out a way to get the weoghted blanket#to hometown bc going without it is going to fuckinh suvk big time#i also need to have a hard conversation with someone who is way more into me than im into them rn. idk whether its bc i cant#access emotions rn or a genuine thing so im gonna have to communicate this bc otherwise it feels like im leading her on abd thats#shit. see thats one thing that is solidly in my court. like thats a my fault thing. everything else is just a shit situation#god life sucks sometimes. my mum always said things come in threes. i think im up to like thing five at this point
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kj post five hundred thousand lamenting the loss of my passion for drawing because its starting to feel like its never coming back
#it shouldnt feel like a chore! i miss when it was fun!!!!#as much as i try not to care about my art posts flopping because i know attention shouldnt be my motivator for drawing#it does still make me a little sad so now my brain struggles to want to create anything#like i WANT to create desperately desperately but i sit down to draw and just want to go to bed#the tiredness has been permeating my life ive become extremely socially isolated#which loops around to making me even more bored because im just in my own head all day and theres not even anything in here#my attention span has degraded to the point that i literally have to force myself to try and think about my own ocs most of the time#which doesnt even work because within two seconds i get distracted by being frustrated i have to force it#gruhhhhh . grouhhhh#i miss when mlad was fresh and it was so fun and exciting and fulfilling to work on it#now even though i still love it and want to work on it it just keeps slipping between my fingers#GRUHHH. i want to draw i want to write i want to talk to people but i Cant#i need to join another server or something because after my last Really bad mental period i isolated myself a lot lot lot. and ive been too#scared to go back to my old spot and now i very rarely talk to more than one person a day (excluding work)#im lonely and im too exhausted to be interesting enough to fix it!#im pretty sure 80% of my problems could be fixed with like. adhd medication#but im too tired and lazy and tired to start the road to getting it#sorry i keep coming back to append on more tags but last thought i prommy. i just miss when things could actually hold my attention#i miss having the motivation to do minicomics for lore drops i miss being so excited about aus with friends i would do multiple sketches a#day i miss being so gripped by individual scenes between characters i would take the time to write a multi page minific about it#why cant my brain HOLD ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#JUST PAY ATTENTION :(#i need a new hyperfixation or im going to do something drastic.
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( reaction ) unintentionally riding them ! ୨୧ 一 엔시티드림 ՞
⸃ ⸰ ⌁ unintentionally riding nct dream on a rideヾ
boyfriend!엔시티드림・ fem!reader g ・ smut cw ・ nudes , allusions to sex wc ・ n/a | click to library
request. hear me out…… what about nct dream going with yn to that ride disco pang pang and you end up on top of them (idk if you’ve seen a video that’s been going around where a girl is literally riding other girl😭)
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 those rides are scary as hell i couldn't imagine falling into a strangers lap like the video.
﹙ 𐙚 : mark﹚ .ᐟ
he knows you mean no harm; the ride was quite literally tossing you both around , and you just happened to land on him — but it didn't stop his cock from growing inside is jeans. he's stressed , he knows you feel it. “fu-fuck im so sorry.” he said , your face is hot , cheeks are rosy as you feel him beneath you , he's embarrassed , but so turned on , he was gonna cum . “but fuck you feel good , im sorry , im so sorry .” he's just wishing the damn ride would end.
“fuck im sorry but im about to cum.”
﹙ 𐙚 : renjun﹚ .ᐟ
he's embarrassed as hell; but his ass is not about to let you know that. “re-renjun are you hard?” he scoffed , rolling his eyes. “you're straddling me , and this ride is bouncing you on my dick , of course I'm hard , wouldn't you be hard if you were in my position? i know you're probably turned on right now , don't make it seem like it's only me.” he stressed , he's about to cum in his pants and he wasn't about to give you leverage to further tease him. “oh fuck will this ride ever fucking end.”
“we're leaving this fucking amusement park arter this.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jeno﹚ .ᐟ
his hands immediately come to your waist to hold you from falling when the ride tossed you into his lap. “hi.” he tries to smile it off — even though the ride is practically bouncing you on his dick. you're actually the one profusely apologizing , but he pretends that it doesn't even bother him , even though he's hard a fucking rock and you're riding him unintentionally in front of all these people and he has to force himself not to moan. “i don't think i can get up after this.” he said. “it's already embarrassing with you on top of me.”
“i don't want these people to see my dick hard.”
﹙ 𐙚 : haechan﹚ .ᐟ
shameless motherfucker; you would've thought he was already hard before the ride tossed you into the boys lap. “haechan are you serious?” he smirking holding you close by your waist. “you're grinding on top of me and you're confused as to why im hard.” he scoffed , your eyes widened at his sudden brazen attitude , you knew he was a wild card but even this was too much for you. you only come back when he groans , he doesn't even care.
“fuck if this ride doesn't stop soon i’m gonna cum.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jaemin﹚ .ᐟ
with the smirk on his face , you would've thought he orgistrated the entire thing himself , his hands on your waist , meanwhile you're the one who's embarrassed as hell. “why are you so embarrassed?” he knew you could feel his hard on , he could feel you as well. “im-im glad you're having a good time.” you on the other hand , your body was on fire. “I am baby i am.” the ride still tossing you around but he made sure to hold you still.
“but i'm more excited about the time we're about to have when we get off this ride.”
﹙ 𐙚 : chenle﹚ .ᐟ
completely turns it on you; yeah he's the one thats hard , but you're the one on top of him and you're the one who caused it in his eyes , not the ride. “if you wanted to ride me you should've just asked , not force me on this nauseating ride so you can do it shamelessly.” you wanted to slap him so bad , but you were too busy grabbing the bar to keep yourself from flying off. “sh-shut up.” your face hot from embarrassment as you straddled him. “im not gonna cum in my pants like a teenager.”
“but all bets are off when we get off this ride.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jisung﹚ .ᐟ
he wants to kill himself to moment he feels you on top of him; his face is red , he wanted to die — but it felt good and that's what made him feel like a pervert , because it wasn't sexual , but his stupid cock didn't seem to get the message. he swore the person who managed the ride had something against him because the ride was never ending and no matter how many times you tried to get up , the ride was plopping you back into his lap. “ji-jisung.” your hands holding his shoulders , he stops you before you can finish.
“please don't say anything , im sorry , so fucking sorry.”
©LUVYENI
#nct reactions#nct scenarios#nct x female reader#nct x reader#nct smut#nct hard thoughts#nct hard hours#nct dream smut#nct dream hard thoughts#nct dream hard hours#nct dream x female reader#nct dream x reader#mark lee smut#mark lee x reader#huang renjun smut#huang renjun x reader#lee jeno x reader#lee jeno smut#lee haechan smut#lee haechan x reader#na jaemin x reader#na jaemin smut#zhong chenle smut#zhong chenle x reader#park jisung x reader#park jisung smut
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okay i'm going to an ffxiv unofficial fan event in july this year and there's this wol (character) sticker exchange thing me and lune really want to participate in but 1. we don't really know how to draw yet 2. we don't really have money to commission. so. sobbing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#I AM REALLY EXCITED THOUGH .....#there is a high chance we will be the youngest there but oh well ?? hoping for other people our age fr#also i think one of my favorite xiv artists who i sometimes forget is filipino bcs they are Huge af is going ... so goddamn. wow#also i've never interacted w xiv ppl irl yet. saw a few people at conquest last year and one person wearing the shirt out Once#but this june's conquest there was More ... AND MY BEST FRIEND. WHO WENT#literally got us stickers despite her just having played so little so far bcs of me and lune BUT SHE TALKED W THE PERSON WHO SOLD THEM AND#AAA SMTH ABOUT HOW 'GNA BRING US NEXT YEAR' SMTH SMTH so idk makes me really happy :((#so that kinda went off-topic but i am wondering how to go about this#i feel like if i asked a friend or another one to draw something (really small) they wld be fine w it but 1. too shy 2. i don't want to ask#something of my friends. like. bro idk if someone asked me for shit i'd be really happy but nervous but mostly like oh ... so u wna have#smth in my writing ..... thatd make me CRY bcs i rarely share my writing w others. and in all my life not much ppl im close to have Asked#for smth like that. but when it comes to others i have no idea At All#if it comes down to it i'm cool w not joining the exchange but ir does sound like fun so i will Try and See still. hmhmhmhm
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i finished making my flash cards it took 30 minutes.
#wind howls#TO BE FAIR i couldnt do it earlier because i had a real bad headache#but i took ibuprofen and a nap and im so much better now !#and my mom did the dishes for me today which is like. wow#(there wasnt a lot bc we got rotisserrie chicken w some fries and inca kola but still. i hate dishes so it meant a lot to me)#though i guess in a way it was kinda like their thank you for watching over my siblings for 2 weekends in a row.#during college finals season. smh#and my dad did send me 50 dollars (which like. i only rlly got 12 bc i spent 38 on food but 12 is more payment than ive ever gotten !)#so i am grateful. but im so excited to be done with class#i started a new botw run and my goal is to finish that run (all temples and beasts not korok seeds) before totk comes out#woo !
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