#there's so much going wrong in my life
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I'm this 👌 close to doing something stupid.
#I'm at my limit#there's so much going wrong in my life#and now someone i love is breaking my heart#on top of the money problems#dad needing a new hearing aid#us needing to fix things in the house#the house being a depression mess#dad going into major surgery soon#work is driving me crazy#my health is a mess#I'm probably going to spend my birthday all alone because my dad will be in the hospital#and the people i miss are too far away#and all the other problems just haunting me#i just know I'm going to relapse#and nobody in my life actually cares#i spent my whole work shift today dissociating and trying not to cry
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I wish we could have met in some other way.
Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates
If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3
Still frames/Individual gifs:
If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#oh god here we go#death note jdrama#death note 2015#death note 2006#death note musical#lctw#l change the world#dntm#lawlightweek2024#my art#collapses i am NEVER putting this much effort in one piece ever again /hj this was the Only one i had mostly prepared in advance#ironically the most painstaking part about making this entire thing was converting the images into an animated file#that wasn't either horrifically compressed or just. wouldn't loop. why do gifs have to look so BAD it's so inconvenient#and THEN i realized I had to forcibly Stitch the two animations together so they would actually be synced and it wouldn't look dumb#and the end result is STILL so compressed. because Tumblr. uhhh just don't click on it it'll look so scuffed LOL. anyways#this is what i get for watching Every Adaptation of Death Note. i am a death note multiverse truther#usually i'd have something clever to say in the tags but. this drained the life out of me just uh.#yeah. they're doomed in every universe. this is the only way they could've met. they are doomed by their own natures and the#circumstances that surround them. there is no universe where light tries to prevent L's death. and even in the cases where L Doesn't die#there is no universe where L can save light. there is no universe where he can truly “catch” Kira and make him see where he went wrong#(<- if you read LCTW you know. :) )#in every universe and adaptation L will call Light his first friend. in some universes they'll take that notion more seriously than others#no matter what one of them will die due to the other. its the only constant. it's the only way it can ever be. they are the others downfall
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Happy Bang Chan Day (2024) ♡ insp / template
#bang chan#stray kids#bystay#createskz#staydaily#channiesnet#*mine#l.gif#l.gfx#dreamytag#melontrack#usersemily#userlau#usersa#usertsu#it’s channie day ♡#happiest of birthdays to you my sweet 🥹💗#i love you dearly ♡∞#forever grateful for your existence#you make life so much better truly :')#i'm sry it's a bit late and a hot mess </3#literally everything that could go wrong went wrong omfg#which put me behind#and ig i got carried away#last panel is silly af cuz it was the last gif to be finished#i made it this morning after pulling an all nighter to finish the set
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i think we need to understand the gravity of how quickly Percy blames himself and his disabilities for the way his world is. how he's been made to believe over years and years that he's weird, that there's something wrong with him. Percy saying he should've been paying attention. Percy saying there's something wrong with his brain. Percy calling himself broken.. he's just a kid man
#this is so unbelievably important#goes to show how the treatment of disabled kids can harm their self esteem so much#he's literally twelve??#this kid has been told his entire life that there's something wrong with him#and he believes it#you can see how upset Sally is that he thinks that#like that's her little boy#i would riot so badly if my child ever had any reason to say that about themselves#also brunner calling him “special” earlier in the episode probably aggravated his reaction to getting the same statement from sally#god he's just a baby#he doesn't deserve this#this show is going to jumpstart such important conversations about a wide variety of things and I am so here for it#renew it already#percy jackson#sally jackson#walker scobell#virginia kull#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo tv spoilers#isoceratops
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This Will Be My Monument by @sister-dear is one of my #1 go to fics when I am sad. It’s a little more popular so y’all’ve probably read this one already but I think after contributing 25% of the page views I owed a lil piece of art.
#like seriously though#this fic is like a hug except it’s made out of words#thank you so much for writing this#I’m so glad to have found it#it’s like a little life jacket#it helps me to start floating again#<3 <3 <3#can’t really go wrong with any of sister dears fics tbh#linkeduniverse#linked universe#fan joy july#FanJoyJuly#fic rec#my art
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i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.
and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.
i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.
#as a trans man whose family still uses they/them and neutral terms for me and would describe me as nonbinary#because that was how i initially came out to them and me being a man is a much bigger hurdle than i have the energy to help them get over#it’s SO deeply disturbing to know that if my life ended in violence#my own community would be more concerned with how my family referred to me in death than with the fact that i was killed#how fucking dare you turn this poor child’s existence into discourse fodder when they aren’t even here to defend themselves#when you only even know who he is in the first place because he was killed#tw transphobic violence#nex benedict#tbh it feels wrong to even add my usual tags to this but i need people to see it so. here we go#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#exorsexism#trans men#transmascs
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Spoilery request here, but good gracious, I hope I made the foreshadowing in these pages clear enough, given I've been building up to it for ages now.
First | Previous | Next (May 3rd)
Part 1: Friend and Family
See up to thirty pages ahead, with timelapses, on Patreon!
Backgrounds, brushes, timelapses, and other assets for sale on my Ko-Fi!
#swifthawk's chance#blood and bone#comic pages#animal death#death warning#blood#blood warning#gore#gore warning#hint: it has to do with the eyes#ok shutting up sorry im just so scared of uploading these pages lol#things are going ok btw its probing really hard but im getting there#i need to respond to people#im just so scared of saying the wrong thing somehow and im even more scared of people than normal lately ahaha#its nothing at all personal i cannot overstate how much it means#you guys have gotten me through the worst times in my life and i cannot thank you enough#idk shutting up now#scorch#bloodclan#tigerstar#firestar#swifthawk#brick#tawnypaw
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iceman + his concern for maverick post-hop 31
#icemav#top gun edit#ice is a FASCINATING one to watch post-hop 31 imo because while yes‚ obviously‚ the focus is on maverick and his grief and devastation#ice is there the whole time in the background‚ watching. and he's visibly disturbed by what he's seeing. because yeah -#he and mav had a rivalry going and yeah he called maverick dangerous and reckless to his face and he stands by that - he does.#but the problem is that this time - this one fluke freak accident of a time - it wasn't maverick's fault at all.#an unrecoverable flat spin brought on by a compressor stall from ice's jetwash isn't something that maverick could've outflown#by sticking to textbook maneuvers. it was just shit luck and shitty circumstances aligning to create a tragic mishap.#but now - now ice can see the way maverick is unraveling in the aftermath#and i'd bet that on some level it terrifies him to see that.#he's used to seeing maverick with all that brash cocky confidence with the moves to back it up.#he's maybe even had a bit of fun jockeying against that. not that he'd admit that out loud. (yet)#but maverick's spiraling now - a hollowed out shell of his former self - leaking grief and self-doubt and despair everywhere he goes#and it actually hurts to look at for ice‚ seeing maverick like this. seeing how much maverick really REALLY fucking cared under that facade#and wondering if maverick is finally taking the stuff ice said to him to heart‚ but applying it all wrong.#so he watches maverick and eventually that concern builds to a point where he tries to offer an olive branch in the locker room#you can SEE how carefully he gathers himself - how much he's holding back - he doesn't want to say the wrong thing to maverick NOW#he doesn't want to make this worse than it already is. so it comes out stilted. it's earnest - but restrained. he can't find his footing.#he doesn't know where he and maverick stand now but he's sorry - that goose is gone‚ that maverick's going through this‚#that he doesn't know how to help or what to say‚ and - crucially - for his own part in this.#but he wants mav to stick around and push through this. even though he's dangerous. even though he's reckless. ice wants him to beat this.#so when maverick shows up to graduation‚ ice is encouraged. and he's a little warmer. maverick really might pull through.#but then‚ all too soon‚ it's ice's life on the line in maverick's hands. and it scares the shit out of him because maverick's not ready#and now ice - and slider - are going to have to pay the price for that.#and then‚ against all odds‚ maverick pushes through. he comes back for them. he comes back for ice.#and after that...well.#after that‚ ice does know what to say: a vow.#my amvs#linds original
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too eepy after work to have a life, stardust? smh
#in fast and food#loop isat#siffrin isat#in stars and time#isat#kitscribbles#oddly my comfort au and vent au wrapped into one#dear whoever said that there isnt much i can do with this au. yeah youre not wrong#lmao what's Sif gonna do#wish to keep his friends in the capitalistic pit of death of never moving out of town to chase their dreams because they cant afford to?#smh you dont need timeloops for that#therefore no loop u_u or at least not conventionally#could someone help me find that art someone made of Sif having a doll loop and i think that doll coming to life#if i ever go that direction id like to credit them#that there is my inspiration#art#fanart#tfw you cant think of a personality for your stuffie so you just overlay a personality over your own and give them that#have you ever tried to cut sharp points into felt. let me tell you it does not like to remain sharp
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Long awaited reunion
#really glad limited life grabbed me out of my artblock just enough so i could draw the boys as well#two braincell crew are back together surely nothing will go wrong#i love them so much#Mumbos video was so cute#adorable even#goodtimeswithscar#mumbo jumbo#grian#hermitcraft#mumscarian#court jester's art
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25 Ji, Akasaka de / At 25:00 in Akasaka (2024) I 1.05
Nagumo Shoma as Yamase Kazuma
#25 ji akasaka de#at 25:00 in akasaka#userfaiza#jdramasource#jdramaedit#asiandramasource#usersugar#userrobin#userrlaura#userlera#userharu#moonlightsdream#asiandramanet#useraurore#bl series#japanese bl#nagumo shoma#he plays the antagonist that observes and understands everything he sees so well#his character is not dumb and i like it sooooooooooo much#plus when he leans against a wall or a doorframe you KNOW shit's about to go down#also love i that his to go outfits in this series are: 1) his 'in character' red jacket with the tiger motif#2) his real life all black ensemble with the leather jacket#and of course my favorite 3) the no shirt look with just his necklace#+ if they think that i didn't notice the hand grabbing his bicep and tricep in the last gif then they're dead wrong#mywork
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do you think there's a universe where they're happy
#jayvik#arcane s2#viktor arcane#jayce talis#arcane#like what the FUCK do you you MEAN Jayce is going back in time/across universes to save Viktor#because the one they're in has gone horribly wrong.#Do you think he would have seen a reality where they're okay.#like I love a tragedy but it hurts so much more when you know exactly what could have been#arcane alternate reality scene where jayce talks to a happy and content viktor PLEASE MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS
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The elder men spoke low. They took a vote and said no. They turned around real slow. Where did they go? Where did they go? And the question oh, the question: can the kid keep his eyes, if the fire doesn't die? They said no.
They Took a Vote and Said No - Sunset Rubdown
#i do this instead of like. making an animatic lmao. this song is so good. the breakdown!! auughhh#doctor who#dw#thirteenth doctor#the timeless child#fanart#digital art#my art#comic#cause the fire never dies so the kid lost his eyes oh that's how it goes :(#the lyrics on spotify are wrong rip#im embracing cringe and choosing life#you can see how this started very simple and then I started putting Effort in rip#so OTHER things can stay alive you say.. much to think about#never getting over this one boys. I'm still deep in the trenches#weeping angels division agents mouri age of shadows something something tardis great house loom. you're welcome#I think this song is about soldiers going to war to prop up empires or something??? which is also fitting
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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oot zelda doodle i liked :’-)))
#tloz#ocarina of time#oot#zelda#my handwriting is very very bad so i actually added alt text/image description#which i should already be doing with everything anyway. i wanna go thru and update some old stuff with that too#but yeah anyway. all the stuff this series presents about being Fated To Be Something or Fated To End Up Somewhere#even if that thing or place is ultimately Horrible and the consequences primarily occur off camera or post-canon after the Happy Ending#characters who end the story with pretty much nothing and also you find out later they inadvertently cause a far worse disaster#than even the one they gave up everything to prevent#oot zelda’s infinite number of issues and almost guaranteed lack of happiness or normality for the rest of her life#even after ‘fixing everything’ in literally the best possible way she could figure out how. given everything she knew#and then blaming herself for accidentally allowing everything to go wrong in the first place. by trying to fix it#and she was literally just a kid going insane from prophetic visions while simultaneously being disbelieved by everyone around her#except impa but she’s a whole other situation entirely. with a whole other set of baggage on the other end of the spectrum#i just rambled sos so much oops. anyway yea oot zelda#its fine. i throw up when i think about her. its fine
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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