#there's references and shoutouts to other groups all over but that's the case with most hip hop

[toskarin]

Have you any polish rap? I've heard 2 songs and am looking for more

judging by the fact you're not super acquainted with it, the standard recommendation would probably be to put you on O.S.T.R.

[tyrantisterror]

I did a four part series of trivia posts when ATOM Volume 1: Tyrantis Walks Among Us! came out, and that was pretty fun!  You can see that set of trivia posts here if you’d like.  I thought it’d be fun to do another now that ATOM Volume 2: Tyrantis Roams the Earth! is out - just one this time, because a lot of the trivia I talked about with Volume 1 still applies.

I’m gonna divide this into two sections: non-spoiler trivia, for things that really don’t give a lot of plot points away, and spoiler trivia, for things that DO give away major plot points.  I recommend not reading the spoiler trivia until after you’ve read Tyrantis Roams the Earth!, for obvious reasons, and will put the spoiler trivia under a cut.

Ok, let’s go!

- So if you read ATOM Volume 1, you probably noticed that the book is split not only into chapters, but “episodes,” which consist of four chapters a piece.  It’s kind of a nod to how the series owes a great deal of its DNA to various monster of the week shows, with Godzilla: the Series and The Godzilla Power Hour being obvious influences.  It also allowed me to pepper in some illustrations and cheesy b-movie style titles into each volume.

- The first “episode” of Volume 2, Tyrantis in Tokyo, pays explicit homage to the giant monster movies of Japan, perhaps even moreso than the chapters that came before it.  Given how much Japanese media influenced ATOM - from tokusatsu like the Godzilla, Gamera, and Ultraman franchises to anime like Digimon and Evangelion (hell, the title of this episode itself is a tip of the hat to Tenchi Muyo by way of one of its spinoffs) - it kind of felt obligatory that Tyrantis visit Japan and pay his respects.

- Tyrantis in Tokyo also fits in a tribute to another staple of Atomic Age pop culture: Rock and Roll.

- Kutulusca, the giant cephalopod that appears in Tyrantis in Tokyo, is one of the oldest kaiju in this series, dating back to the first iteration of Tyrantis’s story that I put to paper back in 2001 or so.  It’s changed a lot since then, but its fight with Tyrantis goes more or less the way it originally did.

- Old Meg, the giant placoderm/shark, and Nastadyne, the bipedal beetle, both owe their existence directly to Deviantart’s Godzilla fandom.  Old Meg originated as a dunkleosteus monster I submitted to a “create a Godzilla kaiju” contest held by Matt Frank, while Nastadyne is based on a Megalon redesign I made during the “redesign all the Godzilla kaiju” phase of DA’s kaiju fandom.

- The second episode, Tyrantis vs. the Red Menace, gets dark as we visit the USSR, which had enough REAL horror with atomic power in its history to make creature features seem a bit defanged by comparison.  It’s probably the episode with the strongest horror elements - ATOM’s always been influenced by Resident Evil, and this is probably where that influence shows the most strongly.

- It also features the first fully robotic mecha in the series, the mighty Herakoschei!  Its name is a combination of “Heracles” and “Koschei the Deathless,” with the former part being added by its Russian creators to make it seem a bit more international as they offer it to the U.N. in hopes of gaining aid for a very extreme kaiju problem they’ve developed.

- Most of Tyrantis vs. the Red Menace takes place in the Siberian Monster Zone.  Its name is a reference to the Lawless Monster Zone in Ultraman, which is such a cool fucking name I wish that I wish I could go back in time and steal it.

- The next episode, Tyrantis’s Revenge, is... full of spoilers, so we’ll move on for now.

- The penultimate episode, Tyrantis vs. the Martian Monsters, is a love letter to MANY different sci-fi stories that involve life on Mars, though the most prominent of them is of course The War of The Worlds (one of my top 3 favorite books) and its various adaptations.  From its tentacles sapient martians, the tripodal leader of the titular monsters whose name includes the word “ulla” which is uttered by said sapient martians, the plant monster made of red vines, the cylinder-shaped spacecraft the Martian monsters are sent to earth on, the copper-skinned stingray-esque flying martian who shoots lasers from its tail, and the fact that every chapter title in this episode is a quote from the book, the H.G. Wells influence is STRONG.

- The final episode, Invasion from Beyond!, is shamelessly inspired by Destroy All Monsters, although there’s a dash of “To Serve Men,” Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, and The Day the Earth Stood Still mixed in as well.  It’s also sort of a tribute to my first “published” bit of a kaiju fiction - a rewrite of Destroy All Monsters that included EVERY Godzilla monster that had appeared at the time, which my middle school self wrote back in 2002 or so for Kaiju Headquarters, a kaiju fansite I’m not sure exists anymore.  Invasion from Beyond! is just as ambitious (but hopefully better executed) as my DAM Remake, with dozens upon dozens of different kaiju duking it out, earthlings vs. aliens.

- There were three different documents I made to outline the final battle of Invasion from Beyond!  It’s the largest episode of the series so far and more than half of it is that fucking fight.  My inner child is pleased, though, so hopefully you will be too.

Ok, that’s all I can share without spoilers.  READER BEWARE WHAT FOLLOWS BELOW THE CUT!

JUST MAKING SURE you know that SPOILERS will follow from here on out.  Read at your own peril!  YOU WERE WARNED!

(I’m gonna start with lighter ones just in case you scrolled too far and want to turn back)

- There’s a number of explicit Spielberg homages in ATOM Volume 2, from a “we need a bigger boat” joke during a chase with a giant shark to the fact that Invasion from Beyond! opens with a group of people flying to an island of monsters to review whether or not it should get more funding.

- When Tyrantis appears in the first chapter, I snuck in modified lyrics of The Godzilla Power Hour’s theme song.  “Up from the depths”... “several stories high”... “breathing fire”... “its head in the sky”... Tyrantis!  Tyrantis!  Tyrantis!

- The two rock bands in Tyrantis in Tokyo have real life inspirations ala Gwen Valentine, albeit a bit more muddled than hers.  The Cashews are inspired by The Peanuts (see what I did there), while The Thunder Lizards are a mix of The Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Buddy Holly, and the Big Bopper.  I wanted The Thunder Lizards to be more akin to the myth of a famous rock and roll band than the reality - less the real Beatles and more the Yellow Submarine cartoon version of them.

- The song The Thunder Lizards write for Tyrantis was written to fit the tune of “The Godzilla March” from Godzilla vs. Gigan, though ideally if someone made an actual song of it it would be its own song.  I got the idea from Over the Garden Wall, which used the Christmas song “O Holy Night” as a a starting point for “Come Wayward Souls.”

- Perry Martin, UNNO reporter and peer of Henry Robertson, is a nod to Raymond Burr, with his name being a combination of two of Burr’s most famous roles: Perry Mason, and Steve Martin from Godzilla King of the Monsters (1956).

- Dr. Rinko Tsuburaya is a few homages in one.  Her name comes from Rinko Kikuchi (who played Mako Mori in Pacific Rim), while her last name is obviously in homage of Eiji Tsuburaya.  Her being the daughter of an esteemed scientist is inspired by Emiko Yamane from the original Gojira.

- Nastadyne’s Burning Justice mode is named after a similar super mode from various Transformers cartoons, though it’s more directly inspired by the Shining/Burning Finger super move from G Gundam.

- Martians sending kaiju to different planets via shooting them out of cannons (with or without cylinder spaceships around them) is another War of the Worlds shoutout.  So is martians living on Venus after their homeworld was made uninhabitable, actually.

- Kurokame’s vocalizations are described as wails in explicit homage to Gamera.  His name can be translated as either “black tortoise” (a reference to the mythical guardian beast Genbu, which can also be construed as a Gamera reference thanks to Gamera: Advent of Irys implying Gamera and Genbu are one and the same) or a portmanteau of the Japanese words for crocodile and turtle - “crocturtle.”

- Burodon’s name is just a mangling of “burrow down.”  It also sounds vaguely like Baragon, who Burodon is loosely inspired by.  AND, since Burodon is sort of a knockoff/modified Baragon, that kinda makes him a reference to various monsters in Ultraman!

- The final battle of Tyrantis in Tokyo is sort of a hybrid of the finales of Ghidorah the 3 Headed Monster and Destroy All Monsters.  

- The Japanese kaiju teaching Tyrantis the art of throwing rocks at your enemies is both a joke on the prominence of rock throwing in Japanese kaiju fights AND the tired trope of an American hero learning secret martial arts from a Japanese mentor ala Batman, Iron Fist, etc.  In this case, the secret martial art is throwing rocks at people.

- When introduced to Herakoschei and its pilot, we are told that the strain of piloting this early mecha is so intense that many pilots have died in the process, with the current one passing out on more than few occasions.  This is of course a Pacific Rim homage - sadly, no one invents drifting.

- Herakoschei’s design is a loose homage to Robby the Robot and Cherno Alpha, because big boxy robots are cool.

- The Writhing Flesh and ESPECIALLY Pathogen are both hugely influenced by Resident Evil and The Thing.  Giant body horror piles of raw flesh, tendrils, mismatched mouths and limbs may be a bit outside the main era of monster design ATOM homages, but they fit the themes and bring a nice contrast.

- I came up with Pathogen long before Corona but MAN it definitely feels different in 2021 to have a giant monster whose name is a synonym for disease driving other creatures crazy in a quarantine zone than it did when I plotted out the story in 2016.

- The chapter title “Hello, Old Foes” is a riff on “Goodbye, Old Friend”

- Minerva, the kaiju-fied clone of Dr. Lerna, is meant to be an homage to Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, which is a genuinely good giant monster flick.  I am sure many of you will also believe I included her because I’m a pervert whose into tall women, but you’d be wrong!  I included the seven foot tall Russian mecha pilot Ludmilla Portnova because I’m a pervert whose into tall women.  Minerva’s inclusion was just coincidental, I swear!

- Since Promythigor is a play on the archetypal ape kaiju to contrast Tyrantis as a play on the archetypal fire-breathing reptile kaiju, their fight has a lot of nods to King Kong movies.  Promythigor attempts the famous jaw-snap maneuver of Kong (with less success), J.C. Clark paraphrases the “brute force vs. a thinking animal” line from the King Kong vs. Godzilla American cut, and Tyrantis slides down a mountain to knock Promythigor off his feet in a reversal of Kong doing the same in King Kong vs. Godzilla.

- Tyrantis sliding down a mountain on his tail doubles as a Godzilla vs. Megalon homage.

- Though Promythigor is the archetypal Ape and Tyrantis the archetypal Fire-Breathing Reptile, I think it’s fun to note that in some ways, Promythigor is the Godzilla equivalent in their matchup, and Tyrantis the Kong.  Promythigor has a slight size advantage, was scarred by humans performing unethical weapons technology, and is associated with violent explosions.  Tyrantis is a good-at-heart prehistoric beast who humanized in part by his unlikely friendship with a human woman.

- Of course, in the context of the famous quote from the American cut of King Kong vs. Godzilla, they remain in their archetypal lanes.  Promythigor is the more intelligent of the two (though not necessarily wiser), and Tyrantis is in many ways a brute reptile.  Their battle is a rebuttal of sorts to the assertion that Kong is the “better” animal because he is closer to human.  Promythigor’s near human creativity and emotions don’t make him the kinder/more benevolent monster, but instead fuel a very self-centered and destructive attitude that makes him the far more dangerous threat.  On the other hand, Tyrantis, who is less intelligent, limited in communication with others by his reptilian mindset and instincts, and simple in his thoughts and desires, is nonetheless a sweet creature that is easily dealt with when others consider his animal needs and mindset.  There’s a quote from Hellboy I love that probably sums up all of my writing thus far: “To be other than human does not mean the same as being less,” and that’s what the matchup between these two in particular tries to illustrate: the “less” human Tyrantis is nonetheless more benign than the “more” human Promythigor.

- Kraydi the psychic lizard began life as a soft sculpture I made of the Canyon Krayt Dragon from The Wildlife of Star Wars.  The sculpture didn’t look much like the illustration, but I liked how it came out, and so I made it an original monster named Kraydi (see what I did there).  Figuring out an explanation for that name in ATOM’s world was possibly the most difficult kaiju naming task in the series, but it worked out in the end.

- Kraydi and Promythigor having psychic powers is a result of my time on Godzilla fan forums in my middle school years.  Most of the forums had OC kaiju battle tournaments, and SO many of those kaiju had a wide array of beam weapons and psychic powers just to win the tournaments by beam-spamming and mind controlling their foes into oblivion.  There’s a special kind of rage you get when your original creation is beaten by “Fire Godzilla” because he has a genius level intellect and the power of unstoppable telekinesis.  Kraydi began as (and still is I suppose) my attempt to do a psychic kaiju well, while Promythigor’s villainy being tied to psychic powers being forced on him is sort of my passive aggressive commentary on people foisting powers on a monster without any real thematic reason for them.

- Henry Robertson and Dr. Praetorius chewing out the laziness of people giving kaiju completely unaltered names of mythic beasts will probably be seen as a jab at the Monsterverse and/or the numerous writers in the kaiju OC scene who do the same, but it’s ACTUALLY a jab at my past self, who had DOZENS of kaiju whose names were just Greek mythological figures verbatim.  There are dozens of kaiju named Hydra, Scylla, Charybdis, Chimera, etc., past me, try to make the names stand out!  Oh wait you did.  I mean, don’t pat yourself on the back too much, you still went with “Mothmanud” as a canon name and never came up with something better, but, like, good on ya for trying I guess.

- Dr. Praetorius takes his name from the evil mad scientis in Bride of Frankenstein, who basically has all the wicked traits that Universal’s Frankenstein downplayed in their take on Dr. Frankenstein.  Ironically, ATOM’s Dr. Praetorius is a bit less evil than his fellow mad scientists in ATOM.  I really like how his character turned out, he surprised me.

- Isaac Rossum, the pilot of the USA mecha Atomoton, is named for Isaac Aasimov, whose robot stories are to robot fiction what Lord of the Rings is to high fantasy.  His last name is a reference to Rossum’s Universal Robots, which is where the word “robot” came from.

- The unfortunate pilots of MechaTyrantis in ATOM Volumes 1 and 2 are all nods to Jurassic Park.  John Ludlow = John Hammond and Peter Ludlow, Ian Grant = Ian Malcolm and Alan Grant, Dennis Dodgson = Dennis Nedry and Lewis Dodgson.

- A good way to pitch Invasion from Beyond! would be “what if the staff and monsters were able to fight back when the Kilaaks tried to take over Monsterland?”

- Ok, here’s a fun joke that no one will get but me because it requires a very specific chain of logic based on some obscure and loosely connected nerd bullshit.  There’s a rocker in ATOM’s universe named Sebastian Haff, right?  One of his songs, “Darling Let’s Shimmy,” is referenced right before a mothmanud larva emerges from the ground in both ATOM Vol. 1 and 2.  Ok, so, in the Bubba Hotep, an aging Elvis impersonator named Sebastian Haff claims he is actually the real Elvis Presley, having changed places with the real Sebastian Haff as a sort of Prince and the Pauper deal that went wrong.  Got that?  Ok, so, in UFO folklore, a common joke is the theory that Elvis didn’t die, but was rather abducted by aliens (or he actually WAS an alien the whole time - the whole “Elvis didn’t die, he just went home” joke in Men in Black is a good example of this).  Ok?  Ok.  So, in ATOM’s universe, we can surmise that their equivalent of Elvis, whose name is Sebastian Haff, WAS abducted by aliens, and that his song “Darling Let’s Shimmy” is subconsciously influenced by his repressed memories from his time aboard the Beyonder spaceships, which is why it accidentally awoke a Mothmanud larva in Volume 1.  There’s a lot of bullshit jokes I put into ATOM, but this is perhaps the bullshittiest of them all.

- One of the most common bits of feedback on ATOM Volume 1 I got was “I kept waiting for something to eat Brick Rockwell, he’s such an asshole.”  And I had to smile and go, “Oh, yeah, guess he never got his, huh?” the whole time without letting on that he was going to die here all along!

- Dr. Lerna and Brick Rockwell’s nature as foils to each other is probably most apparent in Invasion from Beyond!, where both are given fairly similar situations - a nonhuman approaches them with a solution to a global crisis - and react to it very differently.  I worry that some people may think they both made the same choice and got different results, and that that’s hypocrisy on my part, but I hope I wrote it so you can see how their choices and situations actually differ in key ways, and why their decisions, while similar on the surface, are ultimately very different, and thus result in almost opposite outcomes.

- So, when I planned out this book in 2016, I swear I didn’t know about the Orca from 2019′s Godzilla King of the Monsters.  Having the plot hang around Dr. Lerna deciding whether or not to use a sonic device to rouse all the kaiju to save the earth was not INTENDED to be a Monsterverse reference - it came about from me looking at Pathfinder’s take on kaiju, who are all explicitly influenceable by music, and thinking, “Oh, wow, music and songs DO have a major connection with kaiju in a lot of media, I should do something with that.”  Whem KOTM came out a few days after Volume 1 came out I realized I was kinda fucked here, because the comparison was definitely going to be made, but I’d also set this all up already and you can’t just change suddenly to avoid looking like a copy cat and make a good story, so... I dunno, I leaned into it a bit, but it is what it is.

- While most people will probably think they’re a reference to the Reptoids of UFO folklore, the Reptodites are more inspired by the Dinosapien of speculative evolution fame and, even morso, by the Reptites from Chrono Trigger.  Me wanting to avoid the “lizard people control the government” conspiracy theory trope is one of the main reasons why Reptodites have this non-interference clause with humanity.

- Lieutenant Gray is a bunch of different humanoid aliens rolled into one - a little Hopskinville goblin, a little classic gray, a little this one weird alien with five-fingered zygodactyl hands, etc.

- There’s some Beyonder Mecha in this volume that are basically kaiju-fied versions of the Flatwoods Monster.  The species that built them ALSO engineered the Mothmanuds, because connecting Mothman and the Flatwoods Monster is fun!

- Pleprah is, obviously, a one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater.

- Tyrantis’s brush with death, in addition to being so very anime, was inspired by my dad outlining how mythic heroes often have to travel to the underworld/land of the dead before they can finish their journey.  It’s one of the plot points that I’ve had planned for this series since middle school.

- I’m sure some will view it as hackneyed and corny, but as a person who’s battled with depression for decades, having Tyrantis’s choice to live be the big heroic turn of the finale was very important to me.  Tyrantis incorporates elements of a lot of imaginary friends I made as a kid, and in many ways he’s kind of the face of my more positive side in my head.  He’s been telling me to choose to live for a while, and while maybe to an outsider it may seem hackneyed, it’s just... very Tyrantis.  He chooses life and kindness in the face of pain and struggle.  That’s Tyrantis.

- Tyrantis’s powered up form is called “Hyper Mode,” which is another Gundam reference.  Originally it was a lot gaudier and involved him turning gold like a fuckin’ Super Saiyan.  I opted for something a little more toned down here.  

- Also, speaking of KOTM references, I decided to make Hyper Mode Tyrantis’s final duel with Pathogen be a sort of foil to Burning Godzilla’s final bout with Ghidorah in KOTM.  Instead of ravaging the city, Hyper Tyrantis’s pulse of energy rejuvenates his fallen allies, and as a result he is “crowned” not out of fear for his supremacy in the wake of killing a powerful enemy, but in gratitude for his kindness.  See?  Leaning into it!

- And now I can finally reveal that Yamaneon is ATOM’s equivalent of The Monolith Monsters - that is, a kaiju that is also a mineral.  I took the “strange continuously growing rock” thing in a very different direction, though, as unlike The Monolith Monsters, Yamaneon is actually alive.

- At various points in the pre-writing process, either Promythigor, MechaTyrantis, or both were going to die fighting Pathogen.  I ultimately decided to let them both live, with MechaTyrantis even getting his flesh and blood body back, because I think it’s more interesting and thematically consistent that way.  They get a chance to heal their wounds by changing their ways.

- The Great Beyonder and Dorazor both almost didn’t make the cut, as I felt they didn’t have the same pull as villains that Pathogen, Promythigor, and MechaTyrantis did.  But then I thought that could actually be the gag - build them up as the final boss, only to have Pathogen take their crown.  I want to explore post-face turn Dorazor a bit more, though.  We’ll have to see about that in a later volume.

- Volumes 1 and 2 make up what I call “The Ballad of Tyrantis Arc” for ATOM.  I call it that because Tyrantis’s storyline in these two volumes was patterend after Chivalric ballads like Yvain the Knight of the Lion.  Tyrantis, a heroic warrior who is kind but dumb of ass, learns of strange goings on outside his home and investigates.  During his journey into the unknown he falls in love with a powerful woman, whose favor he tries to win.  Through happenstance he is separated from his love and, distraught, wanders around fighting various foes to prove his worth, before finally returning to his love a better hero.  Invasion from Beyond! could even be seen as a sort of Morte d’Artur, with Tyrantis and a bunch of other kaiju heroes (including Nastadyne and Kemlasulla, who are built up as Hero Kaiju of Another Story) take part in a huge battle that threatens their idealic kingdom (of monsters).

- Volume 2 isn’t the end of ATOM, but it’s designed to work as an ending if you want to tap out here.  As a reader I feel a definitive ending is important, but as a writer I’m always tempted to revisit my beloved characters, so I feel giving closure while leaving a few doors open for possible future adventures is a good compromise between these positions.  There will be more ATOM stories, some (but not all!) following Tyrantis and Dr. Lerna, but if you want to know that Tyrantis and Dr. Lerna get an ending and the resolution to their arcs such a thing promises, here you go.  An ending, if not THE END.

[wovenstarlight]

YWBK update: chapter 25 + liner notes

yesterday will be kinder has updated! you can read chapter 25 here, or start from the beginning here

okay, on to notes and commentary! first time i’m doing these, let’s hope this works out. commentary under the cut to save people’s dashes

Hamin laughs. “Given how bad you are at not being suspicious, that’s understandable.” “Oh, come on, I’m not that bad.” Hamin screws up his whole face in a squint. “Okay, so maybe I’m a little bad.”

this part was really funny to me when i wrote it because i was like “hmm reasons for DHM to understand why HHJ wouldn’t work in the guild” and then i was like Wait. Their Whole First Meeting, Dude. DHM was lowkey convinced for the longest time that HHJ was like, on the run from the KR version of the mafia, and got plastic surgery to look like his little brothers, and is possibly in some sort of witness protection program??? or something??? how else does he not have cops on his ass this man is so suspicious all the time

“I don’t think… They said the dungeons were, like, different worlds? Did they find people there?”

mafia theory second place. dungeon theory first place

“Like, humans? Um. No, no humans.” “So then you can’t be from there. Okay.”

dungeon theory shot down. mafia theory back in the running

“Hey,” he says cautiously. “I’m— I’m gonna go get us some water, okay? Why don’t you… take a minute.” “Okay.” “The bathroom is over there, if you need it.” “Okay. Thank you.”

after four years working alongside a guy you start to notice when he’s feeling a little out of it and needs a bit of a break... but as JHW mentions later you also learn to be a little subtle about giving him one

jung heewon What’s with your typing? It reads like Jihye’s [HYJ]’s fine. Very energetic Too energetic? He’s going to burn out. How do I make him calm down

Epic Burnout Man makes a reappearance! when translating sclass one of the things that makes me want to shake HYJ most is his habit of constantly adding things to his to-do list while he already has 1 billion things on his plate. and all the time he’s whining about “UGH there’s SO MUCH WORK to do” No One Asked You To Do It

Anyway. the point is. HYJ isn’t about to be beat by HHJ at Developing Issues 😔

jung heewon I haven’t spoken to him directly about this because if he’s anything like you he’ll take it as an insult You wtf whts tht supposed 2 mean quit typing jung heewon Better not say shit, mr “No, I can’t take days off and cater to my interests or go out with friends or on a date, I’m too busy taking care of the kids and making sure their needs are met, no I don’t care that there are thousands of people out there balancing personal enjoyment and romance and work AND kids at the same time, are you suggesting I be a BAD GUARDIAN to MY KIDS?”

see above re: not being too direct with pointing out when HHJ’s having Issues because he doesn’t react well

You wht but our eyes r fine jung heewon Even if having glasses doesn’t run in the family, you should still get him checked, just in case

top 10 funny time travel moments: referring to you and your past self as “us” (our = my eyes are fine), but other people think you mean “our family” (our eyes are fine = no family history of long/shortsightedness)

Also. Sooyoung-ie says hi [Attachment: 20XX1213_144516.jpg] 

ok no lie this was one of the parts that pissed me off the most, even though it’s Literally One Line, because. i love chat exchanges. i really do. when done right they’re a lot of fun to read. But Do You Know How Long It Took Me To Figure Out A Calendar For The Events In This Fic. now everything’s TIMED i have to count HOW MANY DAYS IT’S BEEN since XY event so i can CORRECTLY NUMBER the FILE ATTACHMENTS!!! this sucks!!! it took me fucking forever to pin down a timeline just so i could write this chapter plus the few before and after it!!!!

anyway i gave up when i reached year. i just put 20XX. fuck it. we are running on fairy tail time now. (actually i think that’s XXnumber number? XX76? or was it X796. something like that. Who cares i stopped watching fairy tail forever ago)

Fuck it! Hamin will understand!! “If you Awaken you should come work with me,” Han Hyunjae says all in a rush. 

“HAMIN WILL UNDERSTAND” => he literally was cool with me giving zero context for half a dozen absolute balls to the wall nonsense bullshit things i’ve done before. he’ll be fine with this too. dog_in_burning_house_this_is_fine.png

“You already know about the guilds, those are going to be for dungeon Hunters, but I was thinking of forming something like an independent group of contractors. Awakened people with skills that aren’t useful for combat, but that might… that will be generally useful. It’d be you and me, and maybe one other guy I met recently. Probably more in the future.”

given that HHJ has no idea currently that peace exists (i’m so sorry baby i’ll find a way to shoehorn you in soon i miss you so much) he’s got no intentions to start a kiseungsu business yet! he mostly wants to live quietly while just acting as a manager for other Awakening-related services, like YMW’s forge and DHM’s tracking service, along with the information exchange/lowkey spy ring that he’s planning on setting up with JHW and the bar. since HYH is fine associating with him in this timeline, HHJ’s thinking he can get a foot in the door that way, then eventually spread out into dealings with most major guild leaders

RIP to this plan. you were well-made but you will not last long.

“Please, I can’t tell you how I know that, I really can’t, it’d put me and my brothers in danger if it got out. But—” “No need.” Hamin looks slightly alarmed, and Han Hyunjae feels himself settle at the obvious concern in his eyes.

MAFIA THEORY RAPIDLY RISING TO PROMINENCE??? THIS IS NOT HOW DO HAMIN WANTED HIS GUESS CONFIRMED

“I spoke to the Task Force Head and she said that there’s been discussion about hosting a meeting for the nearby high-rankers, where they’ll announce the guild proposal and see who else is interested in trying it out.”

“they’ll announce” i’m sorry king 💔 you deserved a nap

(OH ALSO FUN FACT choi eunyoung is a canon character, not an OC of mine! she appears in uhhh i think late 140s? 150s? something like that)

“I think there’s… probably only one other S-rank who’s Awakened right now?”

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehhehe

Hamin beams. “No, they’re doing great! Spookie’s taken really well to the new housing situation, but I think Spots might miss the store…”

shoutout to @daemonic-dawn​ for letting me borrow a pet name, love u king. i had a much longer ramble about pet names here but i finished typing and realized it was all entirely off topic so i removed it for convenience

Hyunjae makes an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. “Don’t— I mean.” He huffs, visibly taking a deep breath, and Yoojin frowns reflexively. [...] “Is everything alright?” Yoojin kind of wants to be annoyed at his tone on principle, but he forces his shoulders to relax, matching Hyunjae’s posture. Though he can’t stop himself from being a little short when he answers.

things the brothers have learned in four years living together: getting confrontational often leads to arguments that just fizzle out anyway, so it’s way fucking easier to consciously tone down their combativeness in advance when talking to each other about things they have problems with, instead of screaming their heads off and then having to calm yoohyun down afterwards to boot

“I guess. Whatever.” Yoojin slumps. “Can I…” “Hm?” Hyunjae blinks at Yoojin as he gestures to the spot on the bed beside him, then jolts. “Oh! Yeah, sure, c’mere.” He opens his arms, and Yoojin goes over and flumps on the bed, head in Hyunjae’s lap. Almost immediately, Hyunjae starts stroking fingers through his hair, and Yoojin relaxes into the touch, listening as Hyunjae continues speaking.

cuddles 🥺🥺🥺 sorry i don’t have any other commentary here just. cuddles. extremely and overwhelmingly comforting for a man who spent the better part of 8 years(?) with no major positive relationships, and a kid who spent 12 years of early life basically abandoned by his parents. you had best bet they gave up on not hugging each other 1 year into this whole mess

Yoojin hums in acknowledgement. It’s not like he’d ever let himself get hurt; he has too many responsibilities to his family and friends. If he wants to be good enough to keep up, he can’t afford to fuck up like that. But… hyung will worry if he keeps working so hard. He can slow down a little for him. 

Problems disorder man when will you stop. the way he sees “getting hurt” as an inconvenience and an obstacle to his duties rather than a danger to himself. the way he doesn’t really care if he himself gets hurt, but if it’ll worry his family, then it’s a no-no. it’s just. wow. i know i wrote this but i hate him

“Not really. I talk to Myeongwoo about it sometimes.” “Ah, right, Myeongwoo.”

haha gays

“Don’t be weird about him,” Yoojin warns[...]. “I won’t, promise.”

if the “i won’t” line had a dialogue tag it’d be “Han Hyunjae lied”

“Is Eunwoo still in his relationship?” “Mhm, happy as ever. Apparently they’re trying long-distance, now that Eunwoo’s gone off to university abroad.”

three guesses for who eunwoo’s dating and you won’t need the first two

Hyunjae raises his hands like he’s going to deny the accusations levelled against him, so Yoojin seizes him by the collar and shakes him until he cries for mercy

oh my o/rv ass struggled so bad with not writing “shakes him like a man betrayed” here. it killed me not to. but in the end i prevailed (against, uh, myself. don’t think about it too hard.)

“Jeez, okay, he’s an F-rank!” “Eh?! Then why—” “He’s also got an SS-rank potential skill,” Hyunjae admits[...].

play-by-play of this scene because god if i draw any scene in this fic it would be this one just for the sheer hysterical nature of HYJ’s reaction:

YOOJIN: I HATE YOU WHAT THE FUCK WHY. TELL ME HIS RANK

HYUNJAE: HE’S AN F

YOOJIN: WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK?

HYUNJAE: he’s also got an SS-rank skill,

YOOJIN:

[entamesubs]

Regarding Past Mistakes & the BD Release

Hello everyone, entame here.

As I get closer and closer to beginning the sub process for episodes 1-13 of SEVENS using its Blu-Ray, I do want to address some issues regarding my subs that have been brought up either directly to me, or anonymously across other sites.

Before I begin, I want to note that this concerns most of my earlier subs, which is why I thought to make this post with the BD releases on the horizon.

------------

As of writing this, this “sub group” consists of two people (and is in the process of adding a third, mostly to help with timing)—the person writing this post (”entame”), and Yona, the proofreader. When I first began subbing SEVENS (specifically for episodes 12 and 13), it was a one-person job. This means I did translations, proofreading, and timing by myself (to some extent, I still do all three of these jobs, but not as much as I used to). Yona did not join until around 13-14.

I realize that I have made a lot of mistakes over the course of this subbing career, but especially concerning the beginning episodes, which were the finale of the first arc, and therefore very important in the grand scheme of things. 

I want to deeply apologize for them, and address what happened and what’s going to change about them (and possibly future subs) going forward.

Episode 12 in particular was rife with some mistranslation errors. The most “obvious” was concerning the first release of the episode where the context of Roa’s rule-sharking was different than it is now (I don’t quite remember it exactly, so this is why it’s vague). Obviously, a lot of this was corrected in the second release of the episode, and the first version isn’t a thing that exists anymore, even on my own hard drive. It is somewhat fortunate that it also doesn’t exist on anime mirror sites either, as the first group to get a sub out was SevensRoadSubs, so it is their version of episode 12 that exists on most streaming sites.

Likewise, episode 13 suffered these mistakes as well. One example is translating the tournament that Otis was disqualified at as “the 60th” instead of the “the 666th”, which is the correct one. Stuff like this slipped past my notice, so please accept my apologies.

However, the framing of 12 and 13 also laid the groundwork for how certain things would be subbed in future episodes. This means mistakes would endure, such as Roa saying “Distortion Power Code” or the phrasing of his summoning chant in the subs of 13 and 18, despite the fact that it should be “Distortion Power Chord” (as I learned later on). Some of you will also remember the notice I made regarding the decision to use YGOrganization’s translations of cards (where available) post-episode 15, for the sake of consistency across fandom.

Doing subs for SEVENS every week has been a very great joy to me, and something I don’t regret doing. That said, I also know I have made a lot of mistakes, earning some ire. I have learned a lot in the past 3 months since I started. I have never done large-scale translation work or fansubbing before this, so a lot of it has been growing pains. I intended to use the translation of SEVENS as a stepping stone to improving my Japanese (which it has!), but I am not perfect, and always open to corrections.

I say this on every sub release post and also at the end of every episode—I am always, always, always open to corrections. I will make mistakes, and though I try my best to notice them, sometimes I may not. Sometimes, as in the case of “Distortion Power Chord”, I will not even notice them until weeks down the line, when it is too late to change them.

That is why I always try to release 1080p versions where available—because they correct mistakes in the first 720p batch, which are speedsubs.

Still, I think it’s important to acknowledge the mistakes I’ve made for the sake of transparency and to let the fandom know of wrong information I inadvertently circulated.

The upcoming BD releases of episodes 1-13 will go through a much more rigorous subbing process than my usual weekly episodes. For that reason, it may be a rather slow process of working on them, as I plan to have multiple eyes comb through the episodes before release. The BD release will not have a re-release, nor will it be possible to correct potential mistakes after release, so it needs to be the best version I can confidently put out.

I say this because episodes 12 and 13 in particular were extremely rough in terms of translation, as it was my first foray into fansubbing. This means the existing scripts for them may be completely re-translated or re-worked in the BD release, leading to some inconsistencies of future episode’s subs (particularly those past episode 14). If I can ever get the 2nd Blu-Ray set, these will also, of course, be addressed there.

For full transparency, and going forward, there will be some changes to how certain things are phrased, worded, or translated.

YGOrg will always take priority in terms of card name translations. Previously, I played a little loose with my own interpretations and having some fun with puns, but going forward this is now a hard rule. If they translate a card name a certain way, I will use their translation for the sake of consistency. This means no more instances of things like “Kill-Lure Bait Ball” or “Washbuckler” (though they were fun, it became confusing).

BD-specific: I will also try to match information with stuff on Yugipedia. This is BD-specific because weekly speedsubs may come out faster than info on Yugipedia, so there will always be some inconsistency there. However, for the BD, things like “Beastgear World - Trike Fox” will become “Trike Fox of the Beast Gear World”, and other such changes.

Also BD-specific: 2 subtitle tracks! One will use official spellings of names, like Ohdo Yuga, while the other will use transliterations, like Oudou Yuuga (as I usually do). On Luke/Rook - not sure what to do yet. I don’t want to make 3-4 different tracks for official and transliteration, each with Luke/Rook options. Both tracks may use Luke just for my sanity. No change for weekly releases, however; those will always use transliterations.

Weekly episode titles will always follow DMC’s translations of the summaries beforehand. This was also a loose rule before as I always tried to do this unless I wanted to have some fun with puns or references. This will now become a hard rule.

Regarding BD release timelines, while I don’t have a “date-by-date” planned out, I do expect to be done by the second or third week of December. This may change or be delayed, but I will always announce here ahead of time. The second BD comes out in January, so I want to be sure to finish before then, as January and February tend to be busier months for me (fun fact: despite living in the US, neither my family or I celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas, so these two months are prime time for getting things done).

Thank you to everyone who has supported me so far! Please know I would never have gotten to this point without your support, and am always deeply humbled by the positive response. The BD release would never have happened without you, as it was crowdfunded by you. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

When I first started subbing, I thought I would be a second subber alongside another group, so I could never imagine having come to this point now. This is why I chose to make this post addressing my mistakes and future changes, for the sake of clarity.

Before I close off this (extremely long) post, I do want to give a shoutout to Yona! There would be a lot more mistakes without her. While I control the blog, the name, and the posting process, she has been indispensable with her work and I don’t want to leave her out. This sub group went from one to two, and I am extremely grateful for the help.

Thank you for reading to this point. Hopefully this clears a lot of things up going forward! As always, my submit and ask box are both always open for questions, comments, or corrections. Please never be shy to correct me on anything—I welcome another set of eyes!

[relationshipanarchywithoutchaos]

Review: A Geek's Guide to Unicorn Ranching: Advice for Couples Seeking Another Partner

I bought and read this book so that you don’t have to.

I'm going to preface this review with the disclaimer that I started reading this book actively wanting to hate it.  The author* is the Facebook page admin for Poly.Land, which has some very cult-like tactics in its image posts, similar in style to scam pages such as David Wolfe, Vani Fari (the "Food Babe"), The Mind Unleashed and Free Thought Project.  Most notably, the page is laced with universally agreeable tweets, tumblr posts and memes, some not even about ethical non-monogamy, interjected with the occasional privileged or problematic post about polyamory or swinging, sometimes with amatonormative or ableist perspectives.

Before I get started, allow me to clarify: while I and many others object to the principle strategies of "unicorn hunting" (or even "unicorn ranching", which makes it sound even more like animal husbandry than "hunting" does), the problematic issue of couples seeking a third is rarely the fault of the potential third (or "unicorn").  It is perfectly acceptable for an individual who understands the risks and dynamics to enter into an arrangement with one or both partners of an existing couple who finds them attractive.  The problems are almost always from the misunderstanding of the unbalanced power dynamic the existing couple places on their targets, most often due to ignorance, greed, or socially-ingrained conceptions of the importance of the relationship over the members of the relationship as marketed by the western matrimanial society.

This book is a very short read: 73 pages, in large font, with a few appendixes for sample relationship agreements.  The paperback is only 1/4" thick.  I started it while waiting for a flight to take off and finished it before we reached cruising altitude.

The book is divided into "lessons" rather than chapters, none of them particularly long.  The first ten chapters run as basically a Polyamory 101, or maybe even a "Pre-Polyamory" class.  The chapters cover things like getting your existing relationship in order prior to opening up, different types of arrangements (vee vs. triad vs. square, etc), the basics of hierarchy, what a metamour is, all the basic stuff.

The only slightly geeky things in the book are a shout-out to the Ferengi meme ("FEMALES") and some minor stuff about math.  The author later describes themselves as the geek; but the title aims to target geeks, and there seems to be no good reason jocks, nerds, goths, or preppies couldn't benefit from the information within.

There is good advice in the book.  The idea of dating separately is explicitly floated, and I was glad to see it.  The idea of a triad not being one relationship, but four or more possible relationships, is also included. Eschewing exclusivity, and looking for partners who are already part of other relationships and arrangements, is also mentioned.  Being as "out" as safely possible is recommended for the emotional well-being of all participants.  The "love us both equally" requirement is talked about as one set for failure.  There is an acknowledgement that unicorn hunting is often looked at poorly by the greater community, and that it's a rookie tactic that many couples take.  While introducing the unicorn as most likely to be a bisexual woman willing to entertain a relationship with a man/woman couple, the rest of the book uses gender-inclusive language.

But there are some major problematic issues in the book which raise red flags.  More than once, the book talks about hierarchy and veto power as an option, but never once talks about the ethical implications.  The words "couple privilege" never once appear.  The descriptions of boundaries, and the appendices of relationship agreements, read more like rules than boundaries or agreements, and it's not talked about why that's a problem, how to amend agreements, and how to avoid building resentment.  The recommendation is to be low-key and discreet at first, which can unfortunately encourage bad behaviors and abuse.  How to deal with one's own children in this situation is never mentioned.  Basic discussions about consent and the sense of a high need for emotional work and emotional intelligence is also lacking, and those are the things that unicorn hunting couples need the most.  Jealousy and insecurity, as well as how to mitigate them, go undiscussed.

There's also a some statements of privilege.  Recommending that a couple get their financial affairs in order before opening up and making plans for couples therapy are not particularly inclusive, as it suggests that only the financially stable and the mentally supported can join in on the fun.  Intersectionality is mostly absent.

Only on the last lesson, "Proper Care and Feeding of Unicorns", is there a discussion about what it's like to be in a triad with someone who wasn't in the arrangement from the beginning, and only barely so; the lesson brings the conversation back to the individuals in the original couple.

The "additional readings" list Sex at Dawn, Stepping Off The Relationship Escalator (shoutout to my friend Amy Gahran), The Ethical Slut, and some other books not related to polyamory (e.g., books on communication and self-actualization). While I don't fault the author for not listing More Than Two among their additional readings, given recent developments, it seems like a blatant snub of the work that Eve Rickert put into the work, particularly given how comprehensive and universal the language of MTT was (even for exclusively monogamous couples).  Not including Tristan Taormino's Opening Up or Elizabeth Sheff's The Polyamorists Next Door, however, seem like egregious errors in judgement and I wonder what the story behind that is.

A section of one lesson is dedicated to "don't bait and switch", e.g., being honest about being part of a couple and, if relevant, that you're looking for someone to join the existing arrangement.  And yet, since there's very little here about the ethics of triad-seeking (or lack thereof), the book itself feels like a bait-and-switch.  Maybe that's a good thing.  After all, unicorns-r-us.com and freesexworkers.com do the exact same thing.

Unlike most books on the subject, this one references very few personal experiences/case studies, and no negative ones.  The author's main argument that unicorns exist and are available, mentioned in the beginning, was that the author has had positive experiences as a unicorn.  At no point is it ever stated that unicorn hunting is problematic.  At the end, there's an assurance from the author that with the right kind of practice within one's an existing relationship(s), the right person will eventually join the ranch.  I feel this is optimism is both dangerous and unwarranted; just going off of several Facebook and FetLife groups on the subject, any given community is filled with thousands of couples who try and fail for years or decades to find "their unicorn", tens of thousands of people who want couples to leave them the fuck alone and/or are angry about them invading queer spaces, and only a handful of unicorns willing to consider joining an existing couple's dynamic for free.  Were I reading this from unicorn-seeking perspective, I would have liked to have seen testaments and stories of couples who were successfully open up and form a triad, and how they did it.  The absence of these stories is telling.

So, like, I didn't hate it, but I can't recommend it. There are other books where you can spend a few extra dollars and receive significantly more information on the relevant subjects, as well as better guidance about the kind of emotional work one needs to do in order to eschew monogamy (A Geek's Guide is $8; Opening Up is $15, and The Ethical Slut is $18, both of which are way more than double in AGG in length). Some even contain workbook questions to think about individually, or with a partner. I think that if a couple read this book, and made no other efforts to read other works or join discussions online with experienced individuals, they would likely be set up for failure.  The author puts all of the scary possibilities up front, which is probably a good thing if it actually makes couples do additional research, but not if it turns them off on the prospect of discovering more about it and just going off on their own, none-the-wiser.

* The author, Page Turner, notes themselves in the back as a polyamory, kink and sex councilor and coach.  I do not dispute this, and I know people who have seen them talk at events on those subjects with expertise.

[atomicfilm]

The case for (maybe) being an INTP:

- Overanalyzing

- I try to establish my own opinion before engaging in conversations with others to gain their perspectives. However, I will engage in these conversations, but this is apparently a shared trait btwn the INTP/ENTP.

- I debate one person consistently, we’ll call her M, and most other people will give up when they talk to me and/or agree with me. I don’t argue with people to change their opinions, which I think is the ENTP way of doing it, I argue because I find logical fallacies in their arguments and believe they’re incorrect. Which just so happens to be all the time. I think this is why I thought I played Devil’s Advocate, and because I was thinking about 1 occurrence, but ignoring that a lot of the time I will end a debate simply because I agree with them.

- I feel uncomfortable with directly offensive jokes and offensive humor. It takes a lot of continual anger for me to generalize a group of people and write them off. 

- I like to think I’m an optimist but I’m more of a pessimist to my own dismay. I think we’re gonna die because of climate change but I suppose nature’s way is better than mass genocide. When I debate I always prefer to take the negative/con side, which may suggest pessimism.

- I require someone to provide evidence to back up every statement of theirs and I do the same. If you don’t have this evidence then you had better find some or I will not listen to you until I’m satisfied with your sources.

- If I don’t know much about a topic then I will either say “I don’t know, do you want to look it up together” (usually option A) or stay silent. I’m too much of a perfectionist to say something too illogical that I won’t be able to correct later.

- But I also won’t agree with someone just to agree with someone because that’s the biggest piece of B.S. I’ve ever seen.

- I can spend all day googling random things instead of talking to people. And I mean all day.

- I prefer writing over talking any day. I famously like to say that I’m good at debate and terrible at speaking, refer to an earlier post of mine. I like to have the time to painstakingly process all of my ideas, weed out which ones I can’t support effectively, and then take a while to present my ideas. I teamed up with guy I really hate to pitch my film script ideas once because I’m not a good salesman.

- I think I can play the character of an ENTP really well. It’s not hard. It’s stereotypical vine material combined with a little intellectualism. One of my friends had said that I hadn’t done anything “crazy” in a few years and that I didn’t seem like myself, and my response to her was like “that’s not me, that’s a character”. It’s also the same as an INTP but more exaggerated. Now, I think ENTPs play lots of characters too generally, but I think I’m being very meta and playing an ENTP.

- A lot of people used to think that I partied hard/was a drug dealer but I mostly write and watch murder mysteries with my cat all day while contemplating the modern human’s relationship to early homo sapiens.

- I can be loud but that’s because I know how to put on a show, if that makes sense. I usually have a flair for the dramatics when I’ve decided I have a crush on them and it’s not a light one. With light crushes, I will ignore a person’s existence. The end. Otherwise, I can be silent as a mouse for months and the only person in the room who will know I’m smart will be the teacher/my bff/my mom/whoever. Likewise, the narcissism thing is totally fake. I don’t think I’m hot, I just say that because you’re supposed to believe it eventually and also because it’s some big societal upheaval for women to be confident.

- My default mode is accidentally flirty. Lots of sex jokes. Unless I like you, then any time you mention sex I will say “ew” or “cooties”. Apparently, I’m good at giving this look that says “hey stranger, come on over” but then I’ll scoot away because you’re a stranger and hello, personal space. I can be very friendly when I get over the fact that you’re a stranger talking to me though (but I had to develop this as a job skill). 

- I think I’m blunt and direct but I’m actually not usually directly blunt. For example, there was this guy at my school who kept sexually harassing me and to him, I just glared at him all the time and kept moving away from him because I didn’t want to start shit, but I told his best friend about it and was like “I hate the dude”. Dunno if this points towards being an ENTP or an INTP. I’m very blunt but not in a personal way, if that makes sense. I can be like “this is why I think that’s wrong” and openly criticize an idea, but I don’t openly criticize people I know.

- I’m not totally oblivious to other people’s feelings. I understand where they come from sorta. But I don’t really understand them themselves. If that makes sense. I can be like, oh she is hurt because I said this and now she has a lowered her eyelids. But then I’m like, okay, but I wouldn’t respond the same way emotionally so why did she? 

- I’m naturally basically a hobbit. I actually hang around a lot of very stable people (shoutout to ISFJ) and usually I leave behind friendships/relationships because they have upset this state of comfort by being toxic. I like to eat the same thing every time I go to a place, I like to do the same activities. But I like a little adventure, I like to have new conversations and try on different styles (but my go-to style is classic), I like to listen to new songs (but I have a soundtrack of songs I will sing over and over).

- I cannot handle authority. If you are an authority member and you raise your voice at me, I will cry, and those will be real tears.

- In middle school, people used to get mad at me for being afraid to do a lot of things like ziplining, so basically I force myself to go out of my comfort zone because I know that as much as I hate to do it and as much as I will procrastinate to do it, there’s a chance it will better my life. This could be where my ENTP character comes from. It could also be from being in theatre and imitating the average theatre kid. Either one.

- I hate stages. I hate them. I hate being in front of people. I hate talking to people a lot of the time. But I just do it anyway because it will hurt me if I don’t even if I’m about to throw up.

- I can be a loud person but I can also be extremely quiet. And when I observe people I usually think they’re being way too loud for my poor ears. 

- I’m not a true leader. I take a lot of leadership positions but really I’d prefer to be an individual but have recognized the need for a guide and no one else has taken it on. I also hate group projects. I have done 0 group projects (outside of AP Bio because I worked w/ my best friend who’s very capable) in the past three years of high school that I can remember. I don’t like carrying the deadweight of other people.

- I hate liars. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. And they’re easy to spot. It’s my biggest pet peeve and I frequently say it when I’m judging someone’s character.

- Likewise, I’m very good at spotting psychopaths. My friends made a game out of this using their blocked-out forensics textbook. I think this is also an ENTP thing.

- Theoretically, I think I do think very similarly to an ENTP. For example, I can buy into existentialism, but I think there’s a basic starting point for morality that’s universal. I.E. murder is inherently bad. Slavery is inherently bad. Y’all can look at my older posts. An ENTP, however, really and truly does believe that a universal morality doesn’t exist and furthermore, that they don’t have an innate moral compass. This is one of the big red flags to me and part of the reason why I started looking into INTPs (I had initially been comparing myself w/ ENFPs but I ruled that out). I do immoral things, but I think these things are immoral and I feel guilt for them. I follow laws, but I don’t think laws are inherently moral and every once in a while you’ll come across a law that shouldn’t be followed because it infringes upon natural rights.

- Again, with reflecting on the past a lot of ENTPs don’t think their past is a concrete thing. And I logically agree with that. So many of our memories are made up and distorted, some people even steal other people’s memories and adopt them as their own. But I think of my past as a part of me all the same and I recognize that I’ve gathered as close to an objective understanding of it that I can.

- I think I naturally act like an INTP without any intense external stimuli. Which is to say, I’m an INTP and appear like one unless I feel like looking like an extrovert will aid me somehow.

- Every time I say I’m an extrovert to anyone they’re like “no, you’re definitely an introvert”. This was another red flag. I don’t put much value in other people’s perspectives of me typically but figuring out where I get energy from has been a long process. It turns out, I don’t get lasting energy from people or from being alone. I do get short-term energy from having really good conversations with people and I like to be near people but not necessarily speaking to them all the time (I’d rather fall asleep on them most of the time). They drain me out so fast too. My family was just in town for a few weeks and it will take me a few weeks to cope. Most of my energy comes from dance. It might not make sense to most people, but it’s true.

- And then I learned that some people think being an extrovert means you’re focused on external stimuli. Well, this certainly isn’t true for me. I think so much in my head that one day I decided to focus more on the outside world because it was just too much for me to handle emotionally.

- I socialize like an introvert. Even in a crowd of people, I find one person to pay attention to and they get all of my attention.

-  I’m slow to decide if someone is friend material. You may think we’ve been friends for five years and I’ll be like “dude, I know one thing about you and I don’t trust you”.

- I used to be very oblivious to social cues but then I researched them and practiced them so now I’m pretty good at them.

- Si wise, if you say an adjective I can remember my associations with it very easy. This makes reading horror novels a gruesome experience. I’m a pretty nostalgic person sometimes. I’m not too sure about this one but I think it’ll be the deciding factor in whether or not I’m an INTP.

- INTPs – > small pictures within a bigger picture. When I start learning about a subject, I find a nuanced part of it very quickly. Mass incarceration for example. When I started researching about it, I became very focused on teenage drug abuse among impoverished groups in the Northeast and case studies of police planting drugs on teens to arrest them.

- I will waste 12 hrs. fixing my typos in a script. I wrote a 40 pg. script in about 8 and the rest of the day was just making sure that every word was the perfect one to use.  

- One of the videos I watched said that INTPs like to intellectually support others and bring them up to their standards. This is very true for me. I’m always the friend that people ask to explain a concept to. I don’t mind taking the time to explain anything that I know about. I just want you to learn so that you can go on to have a great conversation later in life.

- When I meet other ENTPs I don’t really see myself in them a whole lot. I do relate to their need for mental stimulation. But the INTP I know and I have been told we have the same personality on more than one occasion.

- I have 3 friend groups, so technically I have a lot of friends, but I really only hang out and talk to 2 of my friends regularly. I have go-tos for my rants.

- My friend just called me and my response was “hello, why did you make me charge my phone for this when I could have texted you on my laptop instead” . I do like talking on the phone, but the act of calling someone and having to think of things to say makes me nervous. 

- I have three main intellectual focuses. Human rights, zoology, and cinema. Outside of those, I usually feel like I don’t know what to say until I take a hot second to learn everything about that subject ever written.

- I do have a kind of dark sense of humor but it’s delivered in a light-hearted way. And really dark stuff makes me super uncomfortable. I also don’t show this dark humor to anyone but close friends.

- When talking about poverty or other social issues I do use my own experience (INTP) on the subject rather than using universal hypotheticals (someone thought this was more of an ENTP thing)

- Don’t like being touched/cuddled that much but do like cuddling other people and taking care of them.

- I think my friends Jake and Sebastian are ENTPs, in which case, we click really well and I’m one of the few people who don’t get mad at them. But I will call them out for being offensive. And a very notable difference between us is that Jake will challenge everything anyone has ever said ever. I will only challenge it, once again, if I disagree with your foundation of logic.

- When I’m around over three people I don’t really know what’s happening aside from the people I’ve focused on.

- I think in my head so much that it tires me out to exhaustion. I remember one day deciding that I wasn’t going to think to myself so much and instead focus on external things because I was just tired of contemplating things without having concrete information to make a definite answer. 

- I feel alone in large groups and like to latch on to one close friend. 

- I feel like I can “adopt on” other people’s personalities but it’s not really true. I’m always myself I’m just sometimes more talkative. 

All that being said, I don’t think I’m a stereotypical INTP if I even am one. I think I probably am more emotionally developed than a lot of rational types and I’m learning how to be there for people and just be empathetic. People are constant works in progress and I consider myself a constant work in progress.

I’m externally very dynamic (or at least appear to be) and open to my opinions being challenged, but I’m also very stubborn and static unless I arrive to those logical conclusions too.

I really thought when I started saying I was an ENTP that my INTP tendencies were just the depressed version of me. But I’m not currently depressed and sometimes the evidence becomes too big to ignore. But I wouldn’t mind hearing other opinions since I’ve only been into MBTI for a month and recognize that there are other, more experienced people out there.

- It’s 12:29 AM I have been working on this post for 2 hrs. so I’m definitely an NT.

--- 

There’s not a whole lot of information out there distinguishing between ENTPs and INTPs without relying on stereotypes. But I have seen a lot of what is out there and I will personally be typing myself as an INTP for now. 

I really have never wanted to be an introvert,  and maybe I’m not one, but I think I’ve been too biased against it to act objectively. 

@confusedinfj I’ve taken this off of private mode so you can take a gander. 

[ihaveseentruebravery]

Intro Analysis

So I had many, many thoughts about our lovely new intro. 😅

Intro Structure and Order

The order of the new intro is something I find fascinating. While I've kinda paid attention to intros of other shows, the order of them have often made a lot of sense and were typically all pretty similar in how they ordered their crediting to their actors and whatnot. However, the Mighty Nein intro is different even from the intro of Campaign 2. The only thing that stayed the same was that Travis and Marisha were first and second to be credited, respectively, while Matt was very last.

In the new intro, Nott/Sam is third, (while he was 5th in the other one), and Jester/Laura is fourth (while she was 7th previously). Travis, Marisha, Sam, and Laura (and their chars) are all introduced in the first 30 seconds. Then it cuts to their ‘beginning’ as a group after the Trostenwald meet-up when they get a cart and head north to Allfield together.

At :37 seconds and :40 seconds respectively, Liam and Ashley are credited, spliced with scenes (presumably from both of their character's pasts, if they were keeping consistent with the Jester past scene and the Caleb past scene shown). We then cut to other miscellaneous scenes of the group and animations of their fighting abilities (which are gorgeous). At 1:10, Taliesin is credited with a Caduceus shot (shoutout to the purple Mollymauk butterfly symbolism shown here and at the beginning group shot) for obvious reasons. And then, lastly, we get our darling Matt Mercer, same as the previous intro.

Now, we can analyze this order through a couple methods.

Chronologically:

1. 

Fjord's ship exploding that happened a few weeks before their session zero. His inciting incident to track down Jester (as Travis mentioned) because he'd seen her do magic and thought she might have answers or a way to get answers.

2. 

Beau facing the monks also could have happened a couple weeks before their session zero. (Maybe her inciting incident for leaving and heading out of Zadash)

3. 

Nott fleeing guards (could have happened the night before the start of EP 1), as Nott mentioned trying to steal stuff and almost getting caught when we're first introduced to her.

4. 

While we get a scene of past Jester, we also get their ‘starting out’ scene with her and the group in the cart leaving Trostenwald to head north towards Zadash and eventually the Soltryce Academy, as per the original plan of Fjord and Jester.

5. 

We then get a scene of Caleb being traumatized by fire, that could reference ep 7, and then ep 18 where he explained his trauma (the past scene here and his fellow students).

6. 

We cut to Yasha in a battlefield next which could also reference ep 16/17 where she explained a little about how she'd previously ‘gone to battle’ when asked if she'd killed any of her fellow peers (playmates) and her questions about the battles happening in Xhorhas in that Zadash arc of Harvest Close and the Victory Pit. We also see her current pursuit of the Storm Lord's mission as she's referenced many times.

7.

Taliesin is a bit of an outlier in the order and for obvious chronological reasons, so that doesn't need much analyzing.

Narrative Impact:

1.

Fjord and Beau have obvious and not so obvious inciting incidents to their individual journeys that are part of the reasoning behind the formation of the Mighty Nein. They're a big duo in the decision-making of where and what the Nein are doing. It makes sense for them to be at the beginning.

2.

Nott's inciting incident is inextricably linked to Caleb. However, her past can come back to bite her in the ass at any time, and she is always, always aware of that. That's symbolized here with her fleeing this guard and her general narrative impact on the formation of the Mighty Nein. Caleb continually checked in with her about why they should stick with ‘these weirdos’ and in the beginning she always said they should, because it was safer for the both of them. And later she mentioned that it was really nice to be around people that weren't mean to her and physically abusive towards her. ('it's nice having conversations instead of people throwing rocks at me'-ep13)

3.

Jester being fourth also makes sense. If Fjord and Beau are logical decision-makers, Nott and Jester are also a duo for the heart of the Nein. Caleb will do what Nott wants. He cares a great deal for Nott, and tends to follow her lead (especially in the beginning episodes). Nott and Jester were immediately friends, which made Caleb friendlier towards Jester. Nott and Jester wanted to stick together, and they, in ep2, became ‘Detectives!!’ together. Fjord and Beau wanted to do what Jester wanted. Yasha and Molly as well, were pretty charmed by Jester. And with the dissolution of the Circus, Molly was happy to tag along because he felt Jester, and Beau sort of, were fun to be around.

Additionally, what always struck me about both Nott and Jester, was that they truly felt like they were on a journey of self-discovery. Other similarities include: both of them are often underestimated by others, they're unpredictable, they like discussing romance with each other or Beau, and like playing tricks on people together. They both had a purpose (Jester to find her dad, Nott to be safe and be stronger together), but these two characters really seem to be searching for something, for some part of an identity they haven't yet found or decided on. It feels very 'YA fantasy heroine' as I think a few others have said. Jester's scenes/intro, really highlight both that aspect, and her impact on others within the narrative.

4.

Caleb n Yasha being highlighted after a couple group shots, (Liam and Ashley being credited one after the other) is fascinating to me. It really made me sit up and go ????. But then narratively, it makes a certain amount of sense. Caleb's past has been the defining aspect of his characterization, and his effect on the others. I've thought for some time now that Yasha's characterization may have defined her in a similar sort of way. Caleb and Yasha have had a strange sort of kinship, as both Ashley and Liam have mentioned. They're both awkward sure, but I'm leaning more heavily into the theory, because of the subtext around Yasha, that they might also have very similar pasts. 

The violence, the manipulation, the isolation of Caleb, could also be in aspects of Yasha's past when you consider some of the things Yasha's said. Additionally, it feels like both of them are seeking redemption, though for what in Yasha's case, I wouldn't know. But undeniably, both of their character arcs are going to have a gravitas-a narrative weight, on the setting of the Dwendalian Empire/Xhorhas that perhaps the others of the Nein wouldn't. Both of them will most likely have an impact specifically within the confines of the Empire/Xhorhas conflict.

5.

Again, Mollymauk's coat, and then Caduceus being shown with Taliesin's credits, doesn't need much analyzation. The impact of both characters has been made obvious enough. And boy do I adore Caduceus’ lil purple butterfly.

Analysis of Timing/Structure

This part is more the light-hearted, subjective analysis of the timing/structure of the intro. There's a few things I just was delighted by because the timing of them just suggested certain things. First off, my hat goes off to the timing of the animation between :49 and 1:05. In order in this sequence, we see Caleb, Fjord, Nott, Jester, Caduceus, Beau, Yasha. Guess what that suggests for combat??? Ranged(Caleb, Fjord, Nott)->Mid-range/Melee(Jester, Caduceus)->Melee/Close combat(Beau,Yasha). That's just…awesome. I love how they structured that.

Another good sequence to analyze is from 1:15 to 1:20. In order, we see shots of Fjord and Jester, of Nott-Caduceus-Beau, and of Yasha and Caleb. With the Fjord and Jester shot, the lyrics of ‘Can you answer the call’ are overlaid, implying the trope ‘Call to Adventure’. If Fjord had never searched out Jester because of his inciting incident, he wouldn't have been Jester's ‘herald’, ie: her call to action, for her to go north instead of staying along the coast to search for her dad. If she had never met Beau by not journeying with Fjord north and them all meeting in Trostenwald, they never would have been led to the Gentleman, to the answering of Jester's own quest to find her father.

Another fascinating lyric is ‘Diggin deep in your soul’ heard over the shot of Nott-Caduceus-Beau. All of three of these characters have been set up by events in the narrative, to question their purpose, to do some soul-searching. For Nott, this is first done by Caleb, ('why should we stick with these weirdos?' - ep2) and is also done in Ep19 when the Nein questions her self-hate, and done again in ep 27 when she affirms that she loves the Nein, and that's why she's sticking around. Molly left his mark on Nott, and she has since his death, wanted to make sure that they all stick together, because she believes that they can do amazing things together, and that all of them are a little bit better as a group than what they could be on their own by themselves.

Caduceus’ whole thing is try to find or discover what his Goddess wants of him, of what he can do to save his home. Self-reflection and soul-searching come hand in hand with that kind of story. Mollymauk wasn't like that at all, he just lived life, but that Caduceus is almost the exact opposite kind of character, has an implicit connection to those lyrics. Beau is arguably, the one most affected by Molly's death. Previously, she'd been ordered to search out corruption and question everything, but Molly dying also made her question herself and her purpose. That sort of change is almost electric it's so exciting an effect. By her own self-reflection and soul searching in the episodes since, Beauregard has really come into her own and quickly become one of my favorite characters of anything I'm currently watching. If she continues in her path, she'll easily become the driving force, or the leader, of the Mighty Nein.

The following lyrics ‘As the legend unfolds’ over Yasha and Caleb made me squeal a little I was so excited. Of all of the Nein, the characters of Caleb and Yasha feel like they have the most narrative gravitas, the heaviest weight of impact. It would surprise me not at all if Caleb and Yasha are spoken of as legends from where they come from. If Caleb redeems himself, maybe those in Blumenthal will consider him a hero. If Yasha saves her people, maybe wherever she comes from in Xhorhas with consider her a legendary folk hero. We just can't quite get a handle on their mysterious pasts or what their ultimate goals are. Both of them are toeing a pretty fine line in my head, that makes me really want them to be heroes by the end of this campaign. All of the Mighty Nein should be, that would be amazing, but Yasha and Caleb in particular, have the potential for renown in their home villages, so to speak.

Symbolism/Details 

There's a ton of both symbolism and little nods to the show in the little details all throughout this intro, so this is just my special shoutouts: 

The doodles throughout Jester's room and her unicorn bedsheets.

The purple butterfly that symbolizes Mollymauk that's with Caduceus in a couple scenes. 

The Nott wiggling her flask in their cart that's so reminiscent of Sam. 

The fact that the Caleb in the cart next to Beau says 'fire' as he's watching through Frumpkin's eyes reminds me of them finding Allfield under attack and then it automatically switches scenes to Caleb's trauma/past. 

Yasha slicing off heads of the Hydra (that fight stressed me THE FUCK out yo and thank all the PTB for Yasha). 

The raven on the coat. 

The guest stars being highlighted from Matt's book is just 👌👌👌. 

I made out details of Lorenzo and the phase spider from the sewers in the little showcasing of the villains in the last shot and thought that was pretty cool. 

Did I watch this at half speed at least ten times??? Absolutely I did. And now I'm off to do it again! 

[uglypastels]

The Origin - Peter Parker  (1/2)

(a/n) This story if for @starksparker 10k writing challenge (congratulations and wow, you’re awesome!! <3) The prompt I chose was: #80 - “I like that color on you”.  I hope it’s as much of a joy to read as it was to write. 

I also want to give a big (like galaxy sized) shoutout to @andwhatdostarsdobest for helping/editing the shit out of this. Thank you for making this story readable. 

word count: 9927 

warning: cursing, sick Peter (so maybe angsty idk), fluff, some horrible jokes and references. 

The story ended up becoming much longer than I had anticipated. So stay tuned for part 2!!

“When do you think they will finally let us go home?” Peter heard the whispers behind him. He looked at his watch. It was around 2 o’clock. There was still two hours to go until the end of the trip. He had the urge to answer the question but knew it wasn’t directed toward him.

The girls behind him kept giggling, he wished they would shut up so he could hear the lab guide better.

“Hey, shut it.” Another voice spoke up from the crowd.  Peter, was, for a moment, convinced it was his voice but no, it couldn’t be, it was too high,  And it came from behind him. His eyes, which had been glued to the guide for most of the lecture, wandered off to the side where they landed on (Y/N). She was clad in her usual oversized sweater, fading into the crowd of bored teenagers. Her backpack casually hanging off one shoulder. The girls she had been talking to rolled their eyes and started laughing as they walked away to the side of the group. (Y/N) fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater, pulling them down over her hands. She had been staring hard at the ground, but when she lifted her head, her gaze pierced right through Peter. It’s a weird sensation sensing someone watching you, Peter was sure that’s why she hadn’t looked him in the eyes. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable he mustered a half-smile before returning his gaze to the guide.

They had been sharing lessons ever since their enrollment at  Midtown High. Except for the conventional ask for a pen, they had never really talked much. In freshman year they did a project together for biology class, but in the age of Google Drive and shared documents, they barely needed to talk.

Still, Peter couldn’t help but feel intrigued by the girl. She had this something about her that made Peter want to get to know her. That something had always been there, nagging at the back of his mind whenever he saw her but each time his nerves got the better of him.  Peter mentally cursed himself for his anxiety

“Here at Oscorp Lab, we have spent many years trying to find out as much as we can about Vita Radiation,” the guide said,  moving to the side where a big window of, what Peter assumed to be, thick bulletproof glass,  separated them from a group of scientists in radiation suits.

“Our highest priority in this research has always been to try and recreate Erskine’s infamous Project Rebirth, of which you may have heard of in your history class-”

“-wasn’t that done in secret and illegally?” Michelle’s voice broke out from the back of the group. Their guide stared blankly at the group of teenagers before breaking out into an exasperated smile, disregarding Michelle’s accusation and continuing his story.. Peter snorted at the situation.

________________________________________

Half an hour later than planned, the group was finally standing on the steps leading to and away from the labs. Peter sat down on one of the higher steps, further away from the rest of the class. It would still be another minute or five before the bus would get there. He sighed, looking down at his fellow students... most of whom were on their phones. Joining them, Peter pulled his phone from his pocket and started scrolling mindlessly through his apps. There weren’t any notifications for him to check, so what else could he do?

A high pitched scream penetrated the silence, capturing his attention. A  few laughs followed. Peter’s gaze shifted from the screen in front of him. People were laughing even harder now, as the yelps and little screams continued. He scrambled up to get a better look. (Y/N) was stood a few steps below, moving vigorously, her arms flapping wildly around her as if she was trying to shake something off... It looked like she needed help.

Peter rushed down the stairs to help her, arriving just in time to catch her. Her chaotic movements had caused her to lose her balance and teeter dangerously close to the edge of the step... He reached out pulling her back before any harm was done.  Peter was a humble guy but he couldn’t help but expect some kind of thank you, even if it was only small. Instead, she whimpered, “gerroff! Gerroff!” He didn’t understand what she was saying until he noticed something in her hair. It was small, but the color contrasted deeply with her hair.

“Wait! Stand still,” he instructed. (Y/N) stopped moving. Her lip was quivering slightly, her hands shaking. Peter reached out to the strand of hair in which the small spider was hanging. He hated spiders, but that only made him understand (Y/N)’s reaction even more and he was determined to help her out.

Fighting back his own fears, he tried to keep his hand steady as possible. The creature scuttled up and down, causing (Y/N) to close her eyes and stiffen up. She bit down hard on her lip, attempting to hold in her brewing screams, and Peter was pretty sure she was holding her breath too.

Peter tried getting the spider one more time. He stepped a little closer and cupped the eight-legged abomination in his hands. When he stepped away, he saw all the muscles in her body relax.

“Thank you,” the words came out a mere whisper. They were looking at each other for a few seconds until Peter remembered that he could talk.

“Yeah, no problem” he breathed out a smile, “I- ouch! Oh shit!” A pain erupted from his hand and shot through his whole body. (Y/N)’s relief had made him completely forget about the spider encased in his palm. The spider was sick of being stuck in his grip too, apparently, because when he opened up his hands he saw the arachnoid poised in the middle... A red circle surrounding it. He looked at it in shock. The bastard had actually bitten him?! Was he going to die? Every possible outcome rushed through his mind, none of them resulting in a happy ending. How would he tell Aunt May? She would be so mad if he died on a school field trip. Nausea coursed through him and his head felt light. He couldn’t tell if it was from the bite or the prospect of his furious aunt. The spider twitched on his palm, making his skin itch. Without thinking, he shook his hand. The spider fell off and disappeared from view. Peter searched, but couldn’t see it anywhere. That’s what he always hated the most about spiders, the way they could roughly vanish into thin air. He felt very uneasy knowing it could be anywhere.

“Are you okay?” The soft voice brought him back. His eyes meeting (Y/N)’s.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” he paused thinking of the right words, not wanting to stir panic within her, “are you okay? you almost fell and you know...”

“Yes, I’m good. Thank you, again,” she blushed. Peter thought she looked really cute. The way her cheeks had this soft pink glow against hair fair skin. “But didn’t it bite you?” She raised her eyebrow. Peter hoped she hadn’t seen that. He pulled down the sleeve of his sweater so it would cover his hand. “Nah, I’m fine.”

“So, what was that ouch all about.” There was an amused expression on her face. Peter wanted to say something, but no words came out. After a while, he stammered out, “cramp.”

“Cramp?” she scoffed, clearly not believing any of it. Peter nodded to try and assure her this was the case. The sound of screeching wheels below interrupted the awkward conversation. The two of them looked down at the bottom of the steps where the giant yellow school bus had just rolled to a stop. Peter wanted to get away from the confrontation so he started making his way downstairs, walking fast, faces passed. Peter hummed the piano melody when somebody called out his name, in some way or another…

“Hey, Penis Parker!” Flash yelled out from above him. Peter stopped and turned around. “Do you want your stuff?” Flash was standing next to his backpack.

“Oh, yeah, thanks, Flash.” He was walking up to meet him, but Flash had other plans.

He picked up Peter’s bag and practically yeeted it down at his owner. There was a $200 graphic calculator in it and aunt May would most likely kill him if he broke it. Fearing Aunt May’s wrath, Peter jumped up trying to catch it. His usually horrible reflexes gone as he grabbed it just in time. Another shot of pain rushed through him. Why did he have to catch it with that hand? He almost dropped the backpack as his whole arm went numb from pain.

“Oh right, totally fine,” he heard (Y/N) mumble from the bottom of the stairs. She rolled her eyes and headed off for the bus. Feeling defeated and a bit humiliated, Peter stayed behind, frozen on the steps. There was this feeling at the bottom of his stomach. This mix of nervous nausea and general sickness feeling his guts.

Peter could feel the ground underneath him shake as the rest of his classmates walked to the bus as well. Ned walked up to him, “at least you tried.” Ned gave him a little pat on the shoulder and more uncomfortable sensations littered throughout his body. They felt like ten thousand knives stabbing him in the shoulder, traveling all the way to his fingertips. He had to hold in a groan and the few tears collecting in his eyes.

Ned turned around to look at Peter when he realized his best friend wasn’t walking behind him. “Pete, let’s go.”

“Yeah, okay.” But Peter didn’t move. Ned had to get up the stairs again and drag Peter down himself.

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” Ned said as he grabbed him by the arm. More pain flushed through Peter. Through slightly gritted teeth, he managed to say: “Yeah, I know.”

They made their way over to the bus, the last ones to get inside. Ned walked ahead of Peter, finding his way to their usual seats. Peter would normally join him, but his legs were buckling beneath him. He fell into the first seat he reached and sank against the window. The cold glass cooled down his now boiling face. It also sent chills down his spine. He was sure his body temperature would break a thermometer, and the pain was spreading from his arm to his chest and right through to his feet. Maybe he was really dying. All those jokes he made were coming to bite him in the ass. He definitely didn’t feel so smarmy now. Everything hurt so much.

His painful thoughts had to be interrupted when his whole body started to shake. Oh, he was having a seizure? Why not. Only he wasn’t, because he heard a voice: “Peter, Peter!” Two hands gripped his shoulders. Peter groaned, pain bursting into him again, as he opened his eyes. When did he even close them?

“What?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. His arm ached with every small movement. He could feel someone looking at him.

“You have to get up unless you want to stay on the bus for the whole night.” It was Ned. Chuckling. Peter didn’t understand, but then he looked out the window and saw that the bus was standing in front of the school. How? When? Did he fall asleep? Did he already die and this was heaven… no, this was school - he was in hell!

Very slowly, he managed to pull himself up, the pain not subsiding for even a moment. Cold sweat pooled at his forehead and begun to trail down it in small, uneven lines.  The feeling was so intense as his entire body began to shiver. One of his knees was shaking so bad that he almost fell over. If it wasn’t for Ned catching him, he would have hit his face in the seat of the bus bench.  

“Are you okay?” Ned asked, still holding on to him. Peter pulled himself together. Clearing his dry throat, he managed to make out: “Yeah, yeah, just a bit sick.”

He picked his backpack up from the seat next to him. Stupidly using that hand again. Ned was still looking at him, so Peter bit his lip and pushed through it. He pulled the backpack over his shoulder, it still hurt but not so intensely as his hand. Ned gave his friend a concerned look. Peter just smiled through his pain. Yes, just smile while you feel like you’re being skinned alive. Just like any other day. Except it’s much worse. So, so much worse.

His internal monologue almost blocked out Ned’s voice. Peter could see his lips move and he knew there were words coming out of them, but everything just sounded like an air horn. His head hurt. Not getting any answer, Ned walked away, glancing back at Peter a few times before leaving the bus. Peter was now the only one left in the vehicle. Even the driver had gotten out, probably ready to smoke a cigarette after a full day driving around teenagers.

Step by step, he made his way outside, clinging onto anything he could to steady himself. Immediately, he was blasted by the sun, and a blistering feeling covered his corneas. Since when was it so bright in New York? He almost tripped, forgetting the last step. Thankfully, there was nobody around him to bear witness to that.  Nobody to see him walk clumsily to the subway station, reminiscent of a Walker from the Walking Dead. Granted, he received a few strange looks from the people on the subway, but Peter had the feeling they had seen stranger things… oh, at least now he knew how Will Byers felt all through season 2. Was the spider possibly from the Upside Down? Was Oscorp a real-life Hawkins Lab? Were they also trying to make a passageway to another dimension? It all made sense...all those weird alien things attacking New York for the past few years… they were just Demogorgons and whatnot.

Peter almost missed his stop. He was falling asleep again. The conspiracy theory about his favorite Netflix show becoming a bit too much for his last two working brain cells, but he knew he had to get back home. If he didn’t, things might end up getting much worse. The doors of the subway slid open and he urged himself forward, head rush hitting as soon as he moved. But by some miracle, he managed to weave past the other commuters and stumble onto the platform... Next followed a walk of thirty minutes which usually took him about ten. Most of the delay was caused by his tempo, his legs hurt too much to keep up his normal speed, but there were a few occasions in which Peter just simply took a wrong turn and almost ended up on the other side of the city. On a few occasions, he actually walked into a dark alley on purpose, his eyes couldn’t take the firing sunbeams anymore. These were all signs, he knew it - death was upon him.

Finally, at his own door. He swallowed, hard, trying to muster the strength to search for his keys. None came. Instead, he weakly knocked on the door, waiting for May to open it. His face felt like a juxtaposition, hot and cold all at once. His knees were now shaking at the weight of the rest of his body and his arms hung heavy by his side. The only thing that was missing was Aunt May’s spaghetti. Yes, this is definitely the time to make horrible jokes. While you are dying in the corridor. If he had the power, he would have kicked himself. Thankfully, the door swung open.

Aunt May appeared in front of him. The smell of her walnut meatloaf perforated the apartment and now the corridor, filling Peter’s nostrils and he was this close to throwing up. It wasn’t even because of the meatloaf, even if it was always a catastrophe, it was more the change for his senses that caused it. The difference in smells made his head spin and his stomach turn.

Aunt May had not been paying attention to the state of her nephew. Peter assumed she was rummaging in the key bowl next to the door. He could hear the tingling of metal in porcelain. The high-pitched noises left a ringing sound in his ears.

“Did you lose your key again? I swear, Pete-” May’s last words faded at the sight of him once she finally looked in his direction. Peter knew he must look horrible. The right word was probably “dead”. He looked dead. At least that is how he felt.

“What’s wrong with you?” She pulled him inside as Peter tumbled into the apartment, his legs giving up on him. If it wasn’t for May, he would have fallen to the ground, face first. She grumbled as she tried to keep him up and steady. Securing her arms around his waist, she managed to direct Peter to the couch, which he fell onto immediately. His eyes closed the moment his head touched the pillow. He couldn’t wait for sleep to properly hit him now.

He could feel a blanket being wrapped around him and a cool hand touching his forehead. It felt amazing. For the last few minutes, he had been feeling like he was stuck in a sauna. He could hear May’s voice in the distance, even though she was right next to him. “Oh Pete, you’re burning up,” May’s concerned voice echoed in his head. He just groaned in agreement. Unconsciously he pulled the sleeve even more over his bitten hand, attempting to hide it from May. He felt the weight of the couch change, telling him that his aunt was now sitting on the other side. There probably wasn’t much space left for her, as he could feel the opposite arm with his feet. May tried to pull his legs up to place them gently on her lap, not wanting to cause Peter anymore discomfort. Except, when his limbs moved, more pain shot through him and Peter practically yelled out in agony. May dropped them in surprise, causing another surge to race through Peter.

“Peter?” there was no real question asked, so he didn’t respond. His eyelids were so heavy now that he couldn’t even blink them open. He didn’t know when, but at some point, he finally fell asleep.

________________________________________

When he woke up, Peter couldn’t move. His barely existent muscles were fiery from the intense pain. Breathing had to be kept to a minimum because heaving his chest hurt too much. His head was throbbing. He could practically feel his brain pulsing, each and every beat adding to his miserable state. His clothes felt drenched from the cold sweat.

There was a knock on the door. Without thinking, Peter answered weakly with a, “come in.” But wasn’t he in the living room? Why would he answer that? He opened his eyes. Above him was not the grey ceiling under which he fell asleep. Instead, he saw the bottom of his bunk bed. How did he get to his own room?

The door of his room opened. Peter closed his eyes again, the glare from the light on the bedside table was too bright for his eyes. It was too painful. Footsteps approached him, they were heavy, definitely not Aunt May’s. The voice that accompanied the steps, verified Peter’s speculations.

“Hey, buddy.” Uncle Ben bowed down to sit next to him on the bed. The switch of the weight in the mattress made Peter shift a bit, causing a wave of pain to run through his ribs. It wasn’t as bad as before, but a small cry still left his lips. He made another attempt at opening his eyes. The light still agitated him, but he worked through it. Soon enough, he saw the broad shape of his uncle sharply in front of him. His sympathetic smile poked from underneath his mustache. He was holding a plate in one hand. Peter could smell burnt toast. Was he having a stroke?!

“Once you feel like you can get up, eat some breakfast, okay? I brought you some toast.” Oh, that explained it. But one thing was still bugging Peter. “Breakfast?” he quizzed his uncle. He hadn’t even eaten dinner yet. Ben chuckled at his confusion. As always, his laugh was casual but mocking at the same time.

“You’ve been knocked out cold for a good fifteen hours, Pete. May called the doctors at least five times.” Peter rose so quickly he felt like he got whiplash. His vision spun for a moment. He was starting to feel sick in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t have been sleeping that long. What was the last time he even slept more than six hours? He couldn’t remember.

“Fif-fifteen hours?” he mumbled as he held his head, trying to keep it steady. Everything was still spinning in front of his eyes hazily.

“Yeah, I brought you to bed after the first few. Thought it might be a bit more comfortable,” he smiled.  Small wrinkles spreading next to his eyes. Showing that even with his great looks, age would catch up with everyone eventually.

Uncle Ben put down the plate near Peter’s legs and got up. He reached out for the pillow lying on the upper bed of the two. After fluffing it for a while he put it behind Peter’s back, who leaned against it immediately.

“Thanks.” Peter sighed satisfied. The spinning in his head finally stopped.

“Well, call us if you need something. Get some rest, and eat if you can.” He leaned down to pat Peter’s knee. A high pitched squeal left his mouth at every touch. It hurt so much.

“Sorry.” His uncle gave him one last, apologetic, smile before walking to the door and closing it behind him, leaving Peter alone. Peter took a few deep breaths. Yes, his body felt like it was on fire and his clothes stuck to his sweaty skin, but on the bright side, at least he didn’t feel like he was about to faint from exhaustion. He was wide awake, in fact. He could finally think straight again.

The empty feeling in his stomach encouraged him to pick up the plate of toast. It was just plain toasted bread, but in his state, Peter knew that it was the safest option. He was hungry and he would like to actually keep the food he ate in him and not puke it out a moment later. He went to grab the plate but froze when he saw his hand. He almost threw up right there.

The red circle that had formed soon after the bite, was now dark purple, almost black. It had also spread over most of his hand drawing all the way back to his wrist - which had swollen tremendously. On the back of his hand, his blue veins taut against his skin and he could swear he could see the blood pumping around them.

But even with the horrible look of it, the hand didn’t hurt anymore. If he closed his eyes, it was almost as if nothing ever happened… almost. But really the pain had simply moved to every other part of his body and squared itself. And then there was the fever and vertigo. What did that spider do to him?

He didn’t want to think about it. It was best not to think about it. Too much thinking about it couldn’t help him anyway. Worst case scenario, he dies. Oh, well. It would happen sooner or later. Of course, later was always much preferred, but… oh, who was he kidding? Peter didn’t want to die. Not like this. Not a vi…

“Peter?” Aunt May’s sleek, brunette hair appeared in the doorway. Like a flash, Peter had buried his bruised and swollen hand deep under the covers. He could only imagine the reaction it would have on her. There was no need for that. Peter just hoped he was quick enough. Fortunately, she didn’t. Taking one step forward she wrinkled her nose, “ugh, Pete, open the window for once, would you.”

“Sorry.” With his free hand, he took one piece of toast off the plate.

May walked to the window and drew the curtains. The sun shone into the room, searing Peter’s eyes. It was a big change from the weak light coming from the small lamp on his nightstand.,  The light from outside was much too harsh, his eyes were still very sensitive. It was as if his eyes couldn’t take up all the light particles anymore. He whined as he hid his eyes away from the brightness, and then again as he moved a tad too quickly. His muscles still ached as much as they had when he fell asleep on the couch. When he opened his eyes again to look at Aunt May, the room got even brighter, as if someone had dialed up the brightness to over a 100%.

He saw her open the window and that is when everything really went berserk: A police car speeded by through the street nearby and Peter thought his head would explode at the noise. He had never heard anything louder in his life… and he had gone to a Metallica concert with Uncle Ben last fall. His ears were still ringing when May walked up from the window.

“Eat up. I’m gonna bring you some medicine and I want to check your temperature,” she eyed him up and down, “and put on some fresh pajamas.” Her eyes had that friendly sternness in them for which she was known.

“Yes, ma'am.” Peter smiled as he took another bite of his toast, the dry food hard to swallow but at least he wasn’t throwing it up. “Could you also bring some water?” He did his best to look as innocent as possible.

May gave him one last look before walking off to get the medicine and a thermometer.  Peter ate one whole piece of toast before struggling to his feet, fighting through the pain in his legs and arms the entire time. His eyes remained closed until he was upright, taking a few small breaths first. He made his way to his closet to get a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Every step hurt, his joints grinding, it took everything in him not to scream. The short walk had already exhausted him and he still had to pick some clothes and then put them on! Not to mention, he also had to take off the gross clothes he was already wearing. Tentatively, he shimmered out of the sweater that was stuck to his chest. Just like predicted, he was glistening from the sweat that dripped down his body. He had a feeling that as much as he was perspiring, this was a fever he just couldn’t sweat out.

With his upper body bare, he could get a better look at the rest of his arm. The bruising around his hand had only reached his wrist so far. But the dark veins were already showable all up to his elbow. Thick and bulging. Was this poison running through his veins? Would it kill him the moment it would reach his heart?

Peter glanced at the shirt he picked. It was a white short sleeve. With this one, it would be impossible to hide his arm. He put it on and over that a red hoodie that was comfortably laying in reach on a chair next to him. Perfect to cover up whatever was happening to him. He wasn’t doing this because he didn’t want his aunt and uncle to find out… well, that too, but mainly, he just didn’t want to look at it himself. It looked disgusting.

So he put on the sweater and took his jeans off, exchanging them for some blue sweatpants. The door opened once more, didn’t people in this house know how to knock? Peter only had one pant leg on so he jumped around a bit startled, almost toppling over. It would have been funny if he wasn’t in so much pain. He could swear he could hear his heartbeat in his head. Was that normal? Could he usually feel that? Surely not. Was he losing brain fluid? Was he literally drying out? It would make sense from the way he was feeling.

“Hi there,” Peter said awkwardly while still jumping around on one leg. Each time hurt more than the other. The dizziness was also coming back.

May had stood in the doorway waiting for him to finish putting on his trousers. The little nurse cap on top of her head. After all this time, Peter still couldn’t believe she kept that ridiculous thing. It started out as a little joke. His aunt would wear it when Peter was little and feeling a bit under the weather. Over the years it had just stuck around and become their thing. Even Uncle Ben would put it on sometimes. But mostly when it was Aunt May who was sick.

“Alright. Here.” She handed him a glass of water and five different kinds of pills. Peter had no idea if the medicine would actually work. He didn’t know if something against radioactive spiders could be found in your average drugstore.  Radioactive, where did that come from? He had no idea, but it all made sense now. It did happen in front of the Oscorp lab. A company so toxic and poisonous from all the chemicals that Peter was surprised he hadn’t grown another set of eyes or something from just standing in front of the building.

He took the pills from May and was about to take the first one but she stopped him abruptly, “wait!” Peter didn’t know what to do. Was he supposed to take the pill or not? His hand was suspended in mid-air, mouth hanging wide open, Peter looked to his aunt. His arm starting to shake from the position it was suspended in, so he let it fall to his side. His eyes still locked with Aunt May’s.

“Let me first check your temperature.” She shoved the thermometer into his open mouth without hesitation. Peter almost choking on the metal end. He and May stood in silence looking at each other until the beeping sounded from the little device and Peter opened his mouth to pull it out. He handed it over, afraid to look himself. He already knew what to expect. He had been burning up the whole day. That could not lead to a normal body temperature.

And he was correct because when May  looked at the result, she gasped: “104 degrees!” Her hand shot to Peter’s forehead. Standing for so long was draining all his energy. When her hand reached face, he had to hold on to a bookshelf to stop from falling over backward.

Her eyebrows furrowed she let go of him. “Okay, that’s it. You’re getting in bed! Now!” Her arm was straight, Pointing in the direction of the heap of blankets. Peter followed her demand before she could do anything about it herself. If she had pushed just a little bit, he would be laying on the floor with a concussion. He was sure of that.

“You’ve been walking around without a jacket again, haven’t you?” she exclaimed once he was laying in bed again, tucking him in. Peter wanted to protest. To say that no, he has always had a jacket on. But what would be the point? He couldn’t exactly tell her that a spider bit him and that now its venom was flowing through his body. No, he could, but why would he give her, even more, to stress out about. Let’s keep it at one tragedy at a time.

May tucked him in so tight that he could barely breathe. He was lucky he had remembered to leave his arms free from the covers, or otherwise, he would have been stuck with the pills and glass of water underneath it. May stood up straight, looking rather proud of her job, but more than a hint of concern could still be seen in her expression. Peter expected her to leave now, but she just stood watching him. Like she was expecting something from him. Which she was, he remembered -

“Oh, right.” He put one of the pills in his mouth,  swallowing it down with some water. He did the same thing with the other four. The last one he had a particularly hard time with. It was disgusting! Peter gagged when the small capsule got stuck in his throat. May had to help him not choke. Once she was sure Peter was safe and could breathe properly again, she let out a sigh of relief.

“Ok, call if you need anything. I took a day of work. Ben will be leaving in an hour or so… uhm, your phone is on the charger. But I don’t want you staring at a screen the whole day so, read a book or something.” The stern look came back on her face.

“You got it.” Peter handed back the glass. He watched as she left his room, leaving the door slightly ajar so she could see if he needed her. He sighed, using his last bit of energy. Now that he was a bit relaxed, he felt how his legs were shaking from those five minutes of standing. His head felt heavier again, so he lowered it onto his pillow. It was so soft that he soon was dozing off again.

________________________________________

Peter stirred in his sleep. The clock on the wall ticked loudly. Each tick reminiscent to his own heartbeat. Steady, but too loud for his own ears. There was another noise that bothered him and in the end, also was what woke him up. Footsteps. They weren’t Ben’s or May’s. He knew those all too well from all the nights in which he had to look out for them walking in on him while he was watching youtube or Netflix in the middle of the night. No, this was someone else… And they were walking towards his door. How did he know that? He could feel his heart beating in his throat now. The steps were so clear in his mind that he could envision the person nearing him. Getting closer and closer.

He was ready for a knock on his door any moment now, but nothing came. Instead, he heard the doorbell. Then May’s footsteps making their way to answer. Those he identified easily. She unlocked the door and Peter could hear her talking loud and clear: “Hello, there.” He could actually hear the smile that he knew was consuming her face.

“Hi,” it was a girl, a girl he knew, “I’m (Y/N). I go to school with Peter.” Her voice sounded shy. The same way when she was taken aback by a teacher asking her questions in class.

From the few people who cared about his existence at school, she was probably the last person who Peter would expect to visit him. His heart skipped a beat. Because - (Y/N)!? What was she doing here? How did she even know where he lived? And wasn’t it a school day? Or did he sleep through the whole day already?  The questions made his head hurt again, so Peter stopped thinking. Instead, he tried to concentrate on listening to the conversation. It hurt his head but happened much easier than he thought. It seemed impossible to him that he could not only hear, but also understand what they were saying from the distance which separated him, May and (Y?N).

Their conversation continued with a gasping laugh coming from May: “Ah, (Y/N). I’m Peter’s aunt, May. Nice to meet you.” (Y/N)’s voice responded almost immediately, now sounding more confident. “Likewise.” He had the feeling that the two were now shaking hands. Peter heard a creaking sound, presumably the front door opening wider. Then May spoke again, “come in. Come in. Does Peter know you’re-”

“Oh no.” (Y/N) interrupted, with a small laugh, “Ned was supposed to bring him his homework, but something popped up for the decathlon, so…” her words faded in the end, probably not having prepared a full answer. May, however, wasn’t bothered.

“Right, right. Well, come on in. I think he is sleeping.” This was followed by a small giggle. It was hard for Peter to identify who it was coming from. May? (Y/N)? Maybe both of them were laughing?

Peter rolled his eyes. If he had the strength, he would have run over to them and interrupted this embarrassing moment. It was so unfair. Wasn’t he supposed to at least be in the room if his aunt was embarrassing him in front of his crush?

After a small silence that followed the giggles, May spoke again: “I’ll go check up on him.” Footsteps approached his door for real this time. May sauntered in, her eyes sparkling even more than usual. Peter sat up as straight as his aching body would let him. His jaw locked in frustration...or was it from the pain?

His aunt was beaming gleefully, closing the door softly behind her so she could talk to her nephew in private.

“May, what are you doing?” he asked, internally freaking out and the smug expression of his aunt was not making anything better for him.

“Nothing,” May batted a hand in his direction, although he was sure he saw the corner of her mouth turning up, “there’s a girl-” She pointed back at the door with her thumb.

“I know,” he blurted out. May was taken aback but kept going. The smile not even fading from the corners of her mouth as she talked.

“She’s cute,” she teased. Peter wished that his illness would hurry up and kill him already. Mentally, this was so much worse than any pain he had endured so far.

“I know,” he repeated through gritted teeth this time, “and that’s why I don’t want her to see me like this.” He pointed at his face, which felt hot and sweaty and was probably paler than paper. May rolled her eyes at his dramatics. Biting her lip, like she always did when she was joking and said: “You look adorable, I’m sure she won’t mind. I’m letting her in.” Before Peter could object she was bouncing off towards the front door where (Y/N) stood to wait. The footsteps on the hardwood floor were clear as (Y/N) made her way through the apartment to his room. Peter felt beads of sweat drip down his forehead. He didn’t know if it was the fever or the nerves causing it. He never had a girl standing in his room before. And this was not the way he had pictured he would look the first time.

There was a gentle knock knock on the door. Peter answered with a croaking: “Come in.” and the door opened. Her hair fell into view before the rest of her. She poked her head inside. Probably a bit insecure about walking into his room for the first time, not sure what to expect.

“Hey there,” her voice its usual softness. Peter could barely make out her small wave as, as usual, her hand was completely covered by her oversized sweater. Peter waved back awkwardly. She drifted around his room, observing all his little trinkets. He followed her with his eyes, hoping he didn’t leave anything humiliating lying around. From what he could see, he seemed to be fine.  Although that reassurance vanished when he took another look at her. She seemed to have lingered on one thing in his room for an extended period of time, “is that a Lego Millenium Falcon?” She pointed at the object. Peter followed her finger. He looked at the grey sculpture standing in the corner of the room, leaning against a stand that Peter build after the original had broken when he and Ned were building it.

“Uh yeah,” Peter blushed. He couldn’t gauge from her level tone whether she was impressed or about to mock him. He hoped the former.  Luckily, he wasn’t wondering for long, as she walked up to it and smiled, “how long did it take you to build it?”

Peter scratched the back of his neck as he watched her examine the small version of the iconic spaceship. “I don’t know. A few weeks, maybe. Ned and I did it together.” She glanced at him from where she was standing, but her eyes went back to the Lego not even two seconds after. Whit a smile she commented: “Aw, that’s so cool. I have the Star Destroyer set at home, been trying to build it with my brother.” She looked at the lego set in fascination.

As she was not paying much attention to him, Peter didn’t know what to do. Should he lay down or stay seated? Should he start a proper conversation? He had no idea. This was the first time he had ever been properly alone with her. Trying to think of something as a reply, he dried his clammy hands on the duvet.

“Oh, cool.” Probably the un-coolest thing he could respond with, but he did anyway. (Y/N) chortled at his words, attention still on the Falcon. When she had finished marveling at it, she came over and sat down on the edge of his bed.  

There was a sheepish smile on her face.“How are you feeling?” she asked, “Ned told me you were sick. Was it the spider?” The last part came out as a whisper, which Peter appreciated as she never closed the bedroom door behind her.

Peter shook his head.“No, just a fever. Nothing bad,” he assured her. She looked skeptical, not buying into his flimsy story, and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. He didn’t believe it himself, so why would she. But she didn’t question him any further. Instead, she changed the subject completely. “Well, I brought you your homework. Ned couldn’t make it.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at him.

“You do?” Oh, he messed up. How could he have possibly known why she was here without having listened in on the conversation she had with Aunt May? He couldn’t tell her that. He didn’t want her to think he was weird. “Yeah. Ned, uh, h-he texted me,” he stuttered out in the end.

“Weird. I didn’t tell him that I was coming to see you.” she bend down to look through her backpack, which she had put down next to her on the floor before. She had said this very emotionlessly. Peter started to worry again. He thought he had this under control, but oh boy, was he far from that.

“I meant, that he texted me that he couldn’t come himself,” he tried again. Her expression softened a bit with the new information, even laughing a bit. She sat up straight. Seeing the worry in Peter she laughed even more.

“Wow, chill out, Parker. Obviously, I did tell him,” her laughter filling up the room, melodic sounds that seemed to match Peter’s heartbeat perfectly. “Otherwise, how would I have gotten your address? Well, anyway,” she put her backpack on top of her lap and unzipped it, “here’s your homework.” She pulled out a big pile of papers and a small box of what seemed to be cookies, “and here are some chocolate chip cookies my mom baked last night. I picked them up on my way from school to your place. I don’t know if you want them, or even like them, but yeah...” She looked a bit unsure at the clear tapestry before handing it over to him.

“Thanks.” He took the box and stack of homework from her,  placing them down on the bed aside from her. He wanted to get rid of them quickly before his arms gave out but he didn’t want (Y/N) to know that. He looked down at his hands. The fingers of his left hand were trembling a bit. He glanced back at her, only to see her staring blankly at the open zipper of her bag.

“So…” he wanted to start a conversation, desperately trying to cling on to any good starters. At the sound of his voice, she eagerly looked up from her backpack. “Ho-how are you?” he asked, slightly cringing at his own words.

“I’m good,” she smiled sheepishly, “you?” She paused, cursing herself,  “that’s a stupid question. Sorry.”

“No. It’s- I’m fine. Just a bit tired, I guess,” Peter rambled. As if the bed was suddenly burning her, she shot up. Mumbling, “right, sorry. I should let you rest.” She was walking away. Peter’s eyes were glued on her. Cursing himself with every move she made away from him.

Her hand wrapped around the door handle, about to leave. Peter wanted to stop her. He didn’t want to be alone and those short minutes with her had almost completely distracted him from the imminent death he was sure was coming. But he couldn’t possibly ask her to stay. He would sound weird and pathetic. They weren’t actually friends, as much as Peter yearned for it. He opened his mouth regardless, “no, wait. Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not that tired.” His incoherent babbling was making (Y/N) smile, every time he tripped over a word her smile grew bigger. 

“It’s okay, Peter. I have to get going anyway. I hope you get better soon.”

“I hope so too,” he laughed awkwardly. Before she left she had a few last words for Peter. She turned around. With a smirk, she said, “I like that color on you.” Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink and Peter had the feeling his cheeks looked the same. Although, his face had been boiling all day, so who knows.

“What?” he asked with a small laugh. He couldn’t remember the last time he got a compliment from a girl - that wasn’t his aunt. It had also come so suddenly that he wasn’t sure if she had actually said or if it was just a figment of his imagination, resulting from him being so sick. He just looked at her startled.

“The blue and red,” she pointed at his clothes, “not a lot of people dare to color block anymore. It suits you.” Peter looked down at his hoodie. It was okay, he thought, nothing too special though.

“Oh, uhm, thanks, what was he supposed to say? He frantically searched his brain for something light-hearted, “you look good… too.” That was not it. Peter wanted to bury his head in his hands. Why did he have to be like this? Fortunately, she laughed it off and waved him goodbye,  saying, “bye, Peter, I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, sure.” He said so faintly it was almost a whisper. He waved her off until she closed the door behind her. Falling back into his pillow, his spine cracked in a few spots. It didn’t hurt, but Peter had to admit, that did not sound healthy. But he had other things to worry about, so he pushed it to the side. For example: how was it possible that he could hear May and (Y/N) talk on the other side of the apartment? Was it a fluke? Peter needed to know, so he concentrated as hard as he could. More footsteps. (Y/N)’s footsteps. They were light and quick. Almost as if she barely touched the ground while walking. Then they stopped, but he didn’t hear the door open. Instead, there were voices. Just like Peter assumed, May said, “oh, are you leaving already?”

(Y/N) sighed. “Yes, I got homework to do, so I should really get going.” An airy laugh left (Y/N)’s lips. How can I possibly hear this, he thought - still very confused about the whole situation. He expected to hear (Y/N)’s gentle voice again, but it was May who spoke: “Well, thank you for stopping by. I’m sure Peter enjoyed the company.”  The two said their goodbyes and after a shuffle of footsteps, the door banged a couple of times, as May tried to close. Uncle Ben had planned on fixing the jammed door already for weeks. Peter let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was glad that (Y/N) had left because he didn’t have to pretend like he was not in agony.. But, at the same time, he was sad. Because Aunt May was right. He did enjoy the company.

The next thing that happened was difficult to describe. It was… strange at the very least. The door to his room opened without a warning, but Peter was prepared, sensing it before it happened. It wasn’t that he knew it would be May, but he could feel it. In a very specific way that he just couldn’t explain to himself. It wasn’t that he heard her walk or that he could see her. He just felt the presence of someone nearing him. It made the hair on his arms stand up. Like all his normal senses blacked out and were exchanged for this other, new, sense, that he didn’t know he had. Did he actually have it before? It didn’t seem like it. The sensation was too bizarre. If he had ever experienced it before, he would have remembered.

May walked in, practically radiating from the opportunity she had to tease Peter.“Sooo,” May smirked as she rounded the door,. “who is she?”  Why could Peter feel his aunt coming to his room, but not expect this conversation? Even when he knew she wanted to talk to him.

“No- no one. Just- just a girl from school.” Peter scratched the back of his neck, not feeling like having this conversation right now. May crossed her arms as she leaned oh-so-casually against the door.

“Uh-huh, sure. So every girl at your school is cute?” her voice rising on the last word, eyebrows waggling wildly. Peter wished he hadn’t said that. He closed his eyes hoping to find an easy way out from this conversation.

The feeling from before came back. Even with his eyes closed, it was like he could see his aunt walk towards him. He could see her reach out for his hand. The bitten hand. Like a reflex, Peter pulled it away, still wanting to keep his secret. Opening his eyes again, he saw that May was, indeed, crouching at the side of his bed. Her mouth hanging open slightly and brow now furrowed. Luckily, she had misunderstood it as a moody-teenager-move. Her smug smile changed when she wrinkled her nose and she pressed her lips to one corner of her mouth.

“Pete, you don’t have to be ashamed. It’s natural,” she mused. “if you ever wanna talk about anything, come to me.” She laid a hand on his hair, before drawing it away when she felt how damp it was, ”or Ben, if you don’t feel comfortable. Just talk, okay?”

“Yeah.” It was a weak yeah, but it was enough to satisfy his aunt. He reciprocated May’s smile which only widened hers.

She sat down on her knees on the ground, her elbows on the edge of the bed, while she leaned her chin on her hands. With wiggling eyebrows she “So tell me, what’s she like?”

“Ugh, oh my god!” Peter rolled his eyes with a groan. He thought that would be the end of it, but apparently not...Was he really having this conversation with her right now? On his deathbed?

“Fine, fine. I thought I would at least try. She seemed nice though.” May backed off with the questions. Her eyes suddenly flashed to something laying next to him, “she brought you cookies?” May reached out for the little tapestry box. With a click, it opened and the smell of warm chocolate filled the room. Did she warm them up for him? Peter watched his aunt take one cookie out of the box.

“Oh, these are good!” she said, taking a bite, immediately followed by a small moan. “Did she make those for you?” She waved around with the remaining part of the cookie.

“No, no, her mom did. She just...brought them.”

“Right, well, I’ll leave them here then. But…” she took two more cookies, “I’m taking these with me.” Winking she got up and left Peter alone again. Not for very long though, as her head poked around the doorframe moments later, “how are you feeling? Steady enough to join us for dinner?” Peter just nodded.

“Yeah, I’m a bit better. Still a bit hot.” He rubbed his dry eyes. The rough skin on his fingertips didn’t make it much better. May had watched his every move curiously.

“Hmm, I’ll check your temperature again later, and give you some cold medicine.” She walked away, this time for good. Peter didn’t know what to do. From the clock on the wall he saw there would still be around an hour until dinner and from two whole days of sleeping, he was now wide awake. He hadn’t realized it when he had company, but his muscles weren’t causing him as much pain anymore. Now it was a mere myalgia. Like he used to have every time after Gym class when they were forced to do a PACER test. His body felt like it was starting to return to normal. Except for his face, but that was just the fever, he was sure of it. Well, pretty sure. Like 70% sure.

Peter’s stomach rumbled. The idea of dinner already sneaking its way into his brain. He hadn’t eaten properly since lunch of yesterday. The smell of the chocolate in the cookies filled his nostrils and made his mouth water. He couldn’t deny, they smelled delicious.

And they were delicious. Peter took one bite and the cookie melted in his mouth. The chocolate was hot, but not hot enough to actually burn his tongue. It was amazing, probably the best cookie he had ever tasted. Which was a bit suspicious. No cookie ever tasted that good after 24 hours. Good cookies were still good, but this was a bit too good. And they were warm. Not the microwave kind of warm, no, this was straight from the oven warm. Did she actually bake those for him?

Even though he was alone, he shook his head in denial. No, there was no way. When would she have gotten the time to do that? And why would she? They barely knew each other. It didn’t make sense. They weren’t on the ‘I’ll come over and bring you cookies when you’re sick’ level of friendship. Although, just minutes ago he didn’t think they were on ‘complimenting each other’ level, yet, that still happened.

“Hey, Peter?” Ben’s voice roamed the apartment. It shook Peter out of his paranoia. The small shock made him jump up in his position on the bed, throwing the box of cookies into the air. He moved around so quickly, that not even a crumb fell on the bed, including from the cookie he was holding.

“Nice catch.”  Ben’s voice was closer now. Peter turned around his uncle standing, smiling at him. “How are you, buddy?”

“Fine, better than before.” Peter put down the box between his legs. Ben glanced down at the plastic container, a bit confused about why his nephew had a full box of chocolate-chip cookies.

“Good. Your aunt is asking me to ask you if you are joining us at the table.”

“What are we eating?” Peter quizzed his uncle, who just sighed in response. Peter sighed back, understanding what that meant, “if I tell you that I’m too sick, are you gonna make me get out there and eat that?”

“No, but I don’t think you can escape the meatloaf today, bud.” ben huffed out a laugh defeatedly.

“Right, I’ll just come.” He threw the blankets off his legs and kicked them back to the end of his bed. The small cramp in his thighs and calves making it hard to walk, and his knees were still a bit weak. However, that could be the cause of laying in bed the whole day. Uncle Ben had already walked back to the kitchen to help his wife not burn down the apartment. Peter went out to join them. He passed the mirror and wanted to do just that, pass it, but something he saw from his peripheral vision made his double take. He took a step back so he was standing in front of his reflection. At least, it looked like him at first glance. With a  clearer inspection, the edges started to blur, minor details of his features morphing in front of him, or so it seemed. It looked like Peter if he had been amateurly drawn while sick. Everything was right, but just a bit wrong at the same time.

He was much paler. Hair stuck to his forehead. A vein in his neck was pulsing. It wasn’t dark though, like the ones in his arm. His arm. Peter pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie. To his surprise, all the veins were fading back to their normal color. His wrist was still a bit swollen, but the dark bruises had faded to a less threatening yellow hue with just a hint of red in the middle. The spot where the spider bit him. He stretched out his fingers to check if they hurt. Nothing. He pressed the middle of his palm with his ring and middle finger. Still nothing. The fingers didn’t hurt, but an intense pain erupted from the pressure point, through his arm, all the way up to his chest. But it was a different kind of pain. Not in his muscles. It felt like it was literally coming from his veins.

With all of this, freaking him out a bit too much, he pulled the sleeve back down and continued looking at his reflection. Except for the strange vein, there was something generally off-putting about his neck. Together with his shoulders, it all looked to be broader. He rolled his head from left to right, back and forth and then in a circular motion. He heard several cracks. They didn’t hurt. But when he rolled his head back again, it did a bit, like a horrible cramp. To stop the pain from getting worse, he pulled his head back up.

His eyes were back on the mirror. He traced his body slowly, trying to see every small detail. Now that he thought about it, the sleeves of his hoodie felt a bit tight. It was one of those things that you didn’t see until you realize it. The same went for his sweatpants. They were just a bit off. Maybe it had shrunk in the dryer? Clothes did that, after all. Hmm, the clothes. They were just a simple red hoodie and blue sweats. Really nothing special. A bit too bright, Peter thought. But for some reason, it did suit him. He had no idea why, but (Y/N) was right. With a smirk still plastered on his face, he walked away, ready to eat some “food” his aunt had prepared.

> Part 2  <

requests/question/comment/feedback 

[nijohirjesyho]

Couerl Got Your Tongue

Part 1

Nijoh’ir is obviously my boy. Shira is @blood--hunter‘s Au Ra White Mage. Shoutout to anyone who catches the reference I slipped in here.

Nijoh’ir paused in the entrance to the Waking Sands as he took in Thancred. He sat down in the chair next to him, holding a bag to his stomach.

Shira took the chair next to him with a confused look, Thancred didn’t look pleased to have company but one would be hard-pressed to find a time when Thancred looked upset to at the company of one of his fellow Scions.

“Hello Nijoh’ir.” He offers a smile, “Don’t worry yourself for my sake.”

“Too late Thancred,” Nijoh’ir gently patted the bag, “what are you worrying yourself about now?”

Thancred shook his head, “you have enough concerns without mine. Can I help you in some way my friend?” He paused as he took in the bag, which might’ve just twitched.

“I do actually need some help, if you can get anyone not doing anything urgent.” Nijoh’ir lifted the bag, “and join me in the store room.”

-

It turned out either most of the Scions weren’t busy or most were very curious about whatever Nijoh’ir needed help with. Shira simply rolled his eyes when asked and stayed to the back.

“Are you hurt, is something wrong?” Y’shtola peered at Nijoh’ir, the other Miqo’te shook his head.

“I’m fine, I just need some advice.” He lifted the bag and set it on the table. This time it definitely moved and there was a mew.

“Nijoh’ir what have you got in there?” A’aba prowled forward, the one-eyed Seeker of the Sun peered at the bag while Arenvald looked over him.

Nijoh’ir opened his bag and two couerl kittens tumbled out. Immediately there was a cacophony of squeals, gasps and cooing noises.

“I uh… I’ve never had pets and Keeper naming traditions aren’t helpful because one is male and I don’t know his mother’s name and yes you can pet them, they nibble and Y’shtola and A’aba watch your tails but they’re otherwise harmless, but I need names.”

Arenvald had snagged the spotted one and she was happily letting him pet her under the chin, “they’re so soft.”

Yda had all but bowled people over and managed to pick up the black one which she was now cooing over while Papalymo watched her.

“He did not like my naming suggestions and when he asked the archer’s guild in Gridania two of them got into such an argument it almost turned into an archery contest over which name was better.” Shira looked over at them as Arenvald handed the kitten over to A’aba who gently stroked its back.

“Where did you get them?” Y’shtola cut to the point, Nijoh’ir’s ears flattened.

“The spotted one was smuggled in for a fighting ring and her mother was killed and she imprinted on me so I couldn’t leave her. And then the black boy someone offered as a prize for gambling and he looked so sad and I though the spotted girl needed company and now I don’t know what to name either of them.”

“You’re sure you have the genders right?” Thancred asked as he scratched the black one behind the ears. Nijoh’ir wove through the crowd to him and silently took the kitten from Yda, flipped him on his back to show Thancred under his tail, before handing him back to Yda.

“He’s male. She’s not.” Nijoh’ir grinned as Thancred looked stunned.

“A yes would’ve sufficed,” he finally quipped and Nijoh’ir laughed.

“Alright so what should I name the boy?”

A’aba and Y’shtola both shrugged sympathetically, the Miqo’te were all in the same boat in this case. Everyone else though had an opinion.

“Inky!”

“Sissel!”

“Midnight!”

“Shadow!”

“Urianger!” Yda declared and immediately silence fell over the crowd. Nijoh’ir stared at her with his head tilted in confusion while her companion pinched the bridge of his nose.

Urianger, the only one who hadn’t swarmed the table at the sight of kittens, spoke from the back of the room, “No.”

“I mean, they’re going to grow up into big Couerls right?” Arenvald reached over A’aba’s shoulder to keep petting the spotted one, “so they probably shouldn’t have cute pet names.”

“Ah but then Nijoh’ir has the element of surprise when he calls for his pet and no one expects ‘Inky’ to be a massive Couerl.” A’aba pointed out, Nijoh’ir snorted.

“I’ve been doing some readings and they’ll be small for a while so I could have the opposite problem too, that I have Bloodspiller the one fulm tall kitten.”

That prompted some laughter and people seemed to consider the kittens again.

“Why not a compromise?” Thancred proposed, “Name them something fierce that can be shortened to something more fitting for their kittenhood.”

Nijoh’ir’s ears pricked, “that’s a thought. I still need suggestions though.”

“Shadowhunter!”

“Inkspiller!”

“”What’s going on here?”

Everyone turned to see Minfilia standing at the doorway, likely drawn by the sounds of shouting. She moved to the table and her eyes widened as she took in the couerl kittens.

“Oh! What is this?” She let the black one sniff her hand before gently rubbing his cheek.

“Nijoh’ir’s kittens!” Yda replied happily and offered him over to Minfilia.

“Long story short I have two nameless Couerl kittens and we have yet to name even one.” He folded his arms, “and I think I’m not getting them back.”

“You’re not,” A’aba replied with a grin. Nijoh’ir looked over to see he’d passed the girl to Y’shtola who gently ran a finger over the bell around her neck.

Minfilia studied the kitten in her hands, “I think I heard someone suggest Inkspiller?”

“He’s naturally like that,” Nijoh’ir reached over and the kitten nuzzled into his hand, “I even tried to wash him just to be sure he hadn’t been dyed as a scam. He’s just all black.”

Minfilia passed him back to Nijoh’ir and he snuggled into Nijoh’ir’s chest and arms. Nijoh’ir made a soft rumbling noise and the kitten began to purr.

Minfilia looked at him in surprise, “I was under the impression Miqo’te couldn’t purr.”

“Seekers can’t, Keepers can,” Nijoh’ir stroked his kitten. “I can only imitate it because I grew up in a family that could.”

“Lux and Noctis, if you would like matching names,” Urianger suggested, Nijoh’ir considered it.

“Not bad,” he scratched under the black kitten’s chin, “a bit formal for kittens though.”

“Mischief,” Y’shtola suggested, Nijoh’ir’s ears pricked up and Shira laughed.

“Oh that would be perfect for him,” Shira clapped at the suggestions.

“Mischief?” Nijoh’ir looked down at the kitten, “what do you think Mischief?”

“Mrrow?” The kitten stretched and Nijoh’ir grinned.

“He likes it!”

Arenvald had taken the girl back from Y’shtola and held her before Aulie. The woman considered the kitten a moment before she spoke.

“Name her Fierce.”

Arenvald gently set her on the table, immediately she darted after A’aba’s flicking tail which he whisked out of range.

“Fierce?” Nijoh’ir repeated, considering it.

“I think it’s a good name,” Arenvald agreed and scratched his fingers on the table, the kitten whirled to stare at his hand, wiggling all over as she attempted to stalk it. “You could call her Fi for short.”

The kitten pounced on Arenvald’s hand and grabbed at his wrist with her paws.

“Fierce!” Nijoh’ir called. The kitten ignored him in favor of battering Arenvald’s wrist, “Fi, come here.” He scratched the table now and the kitten let go of Arenvald to tumble across the table and stare at him with huge eyes.

Thancred snatched her up and offered to Y’shtola. She took her from him with a soft noise, Nijoh’ir let Yda take Mischief from him to cuddle with him.

“Can we make them our mascots?” Someone asked, Minfilia covered her mouth but that didn’t hide her smile.

“No, and once you’re done playing with them, we do have work to return to.” She looked to Nijoh’ir, “but should you need someone to watch them, it seems you have volunteers.”

“Good, because I didn’t want to bring them to fight primals,” Nijoh’ir’s tail twitched and he made his soft rumbling noise again.

Minfilia looked over the group who were still cooing and playing with his kittens and rested a hand on his shoulder, “thank you for this. I think we needed something to smile over.” She smiled softly as she watched Thancred hold Mischief while Arenvald continued to have Fierce chase his hand over the table.

Nijoh’ir nodded and gave her a playful grin, “at least until we win I guess my kittens will do.”

[amandajoyce118]

Daredevil Season 3 Easter Eggs And References

I somehow managed to watch the full season in about a week. Probably because I actually had a day off of work in there. These season of Daredevil borrows heavily from two very famous comic book arcs, “Born Again,” and “Guardian Devil.” If you’re familiar with the comics, you probably saw a few things coming. That being said, there aren’t a huge amount of Easter eggs in the season.

As usual, the Easter eggs are broken down by episode so if you want to read as you go without being spoiled for future episodes, you can. This is spoiler-heavy though, so if you’re trying to steer clear and haven’t watched the season yet, look away. I’ll understand.

I didn’t spend a lot of time explaining who people are if they’ve appeared in the show before, maybe just a reminder here and there in case they didn’t make a huge impression on you.

So, onto the Easter eggs!

S3E01 “Resurrection”

Father Lantom

I’m sure we all remember him from earlier seasons, but this is just a reminder of his role in the comics. In the comics, he also provides a place of refuge for Cloak And Dagger as well as the Runaways. Taking in heroes with sad backstories is kind of his thing.

St. Agnes

Again, sure everyone recognizes it, but also just a reminder that on Agents of SHIELD, the orphanage where Daisy Johnson AKA Skye AKA Mary Sue Poots spent her youth was also called St. Agnes. I’d still love a connection.

The Timeline

Despite Matt waking up and seemingly thinking he just made it out of a collapsed building, it’s actually been “several weeks,” which probably puts this happening right around the same time as the events of the most recent season of Luke Cage or Iron Fist. More episodes will likely clear this up.

Sister Maggie

She is a comic book character, plucked from the pages of the “Born Again” story arc. There’s likely a big reveal coming with Sister Maggie, so I won’t spoil that for you. She also features prominently in the “Guardian Devil” story arc.

Ben Donovan

This lawyer certainly gets around. Taking care of Wilson Fisk still even though he was devoting so much time to Mariah Dillard over on Luke Cage.

Fisk And The Wall

After he gets bad news, he stares at the white wall of his prison cell. You’ll remember in season one, he liked “White Rabbit In A Snowstorm” because it helped him think. It’s also how he was forced to deal with his father abusing his mother.

Rymon Cable

The van that has bad guys Matt decides to test himself against? It’s full of clothes even though it has the Rymon Cable logo on it. There’s no comic book connection to Rymon, but Holly S. Rymon is a “production executive” on the series. She’s also worked on Iron Fist, Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, and The Punisher over the last two years.

S3E02 “Please”

Fisk’s Deal

This deal isn’t unlike ones he’s made in the comics to further his own ends. During “Civil War” he actually passes information about Captain America to Iron Man, which briefly makes him a target for other criminals. He tries to get his stature back by putting a hit out on Spider-Man and his family, which backfires when Spider-Man shows up in prison and beats him to a pulp.

Karen’s Backstory

In the comics, she’s an only child, but she does have darker and darker side stories. She becomes a drug addict and a prostitute at one point, so I’m curious to see how much the writers reveal of her dark backstory here.

Blackout Cripples NY

This headline appears on a new newspaper clipping on the wall in Karen’s Bulletin office. Now, all of the other clippings were there before the office belonged to her, courtesy of Ben Urich. That means this new headline is likely one of her stories. That story is likely in response to the blackouts that happened all over the world in Agents of SHIELD season four when a hate group was making a statement about Inhumans.

Blake Tower

You all remember Blake Tower, right? He’s been showing up on multiple shows, just like Ben Donovan, Claire Temple, and Turk Barrett.

“Hell’s Kitchen is ground zero for vigilantes…”

Foggy’s not wrong. Daredevil, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage have all been around in the last few years. Iron Fist promised to protect Hell’s Kitchen, but the events of his last season changed things up a bit.

S3E03 “No Good Deed”

Kingpin’s White/Grey/Lavender Penthouse

The color scheme for Wilson Fisk’s room is very reminiscent of his clothing choices in the comics.

The Presidential Hotel

Was it just me who noticed the hotel, combined with the “Lock Fisk up,” the fake news comments, and the fact that the owner was convicted of fraud? I think those are a lot of real world shoutouts right there, and I appreciate every single one of them.

Fisk’s White Suit

Matt might be hallucinating Fisk, but this is Kingpin’s comic book look. It’s perfect.

Millar

I couldn’t make out the second name of the electrical/plumbing company Matt sneaks into the hotel with, but the first in the logo is definitely Millar. Frank Miller is typically the name associated with Daredevil, but I feel like Millar is a shoutout to comic book creator Mark Millar. He’s better known for the Kick-Ass franchise and his work for DC, but he’s also written on some X-Men books, some Fantastic Four, and some Spider-Man, as well as the “Civil War” arc.

Vanessa Hiding In Spain

Vanessa frequently has to hide out in the comics to escape the wrath of Wilson’s enemies. Spain isn’t usually a big spot for her, but Wilson lived there for about a year in the comics before Lady Bullseye caught up with him and sent a bunch of Hand ninjas after him.

Agent Poindexter

He seems to like the nickname Dex and he has a great skillset - never missing his mark. Benjamin Poindexter is the main alias of a villain named Bullseye in the comics, and I don’t think that’s spoiling anything for you since casting rumors and trailers should have done that already. He’s probably Daredevil’s biggest enemy, not Kingpin. So, that’s going to be fun to watch develop.

Matt’s Clothes

Not his vigilante ensemble, which is a callback to him first starting out in season one. His walking around clothes. It looks a lot like how Stick used to dress when he was in New York, huh? Guess Matt is taking cues from his former sensei.

Matt Picking Foggy’s Pocket

Okay, so I realize this is just a means to an end for Matt, but I like to think of it as another connection between Matt and Daisy. Both orphans at St. Agnes (possibly the same one), both steal the ID of someone who meets with them in order to get more info. (In Daisy AKA Skye’s case, it was Mike Peterson in the Agents of SHIELD pilot.)

S3E04 “Blindsided”

District Attorney Foggy Nelson

Foggy was District Attorney of New York City for a while in the comics. He also became Chief of Staff for the mayor for a while too.

The Prison Fight Sequence

Less an Easter egg and more a reminder that Daredevil is known for doing a spectacular single take fight sequence every season. This one, where the cameraman literally just followed Charlie Cox from room to room lasted nearly a crazy 15 minutes. No cuts. That’s impressive.

“We were just being friendly.”

And Karen pulls a gun on some guys up to no good. I feel like she and Jessica Jones need to hang out more. They could just intimidate skeevey guys in alleys for laughs.

Trucks Full Of Chemicals

The FBI agent’s story about her dad hauling chemicals, I think, made a nice nod to the fact that both Matt Murdock and Jessica Jones got their abilities from trucks full of chemicals hitting them in the comics.

Felix Manning

“Felix” has been the name of the person in charge of Vanessa’s location, so I’m going to wager they’re one in the same. He also appears in a whopping two comic books - Daredevil issues 230 and 231. He wanted Melvin Potter, who appeared early in the Netflix series, to make him a duplicate of the Daredevil costume. He was actually killed by a Daredevil imposter. Foreshadowing? We’ll see.

A Taxi To The Water

A version of this happened in “Born Again.” It didn’t get rid of Matt, but it did make him a little more loopy.

S3E05 “The Perfect Game”

Fisk Giving Matt’s Name

There is a story in the comics where Fisk implicates Matt as a vigilante and gets him arrested. The FBI, however, decides not to take the deal with him, and they put Fisk in prison for numerous crimes as well. This clearly isn’t playing out exactly the same way, but, when Matt and Fisk try to break out of prison during a riot, it’s Bullseye who has to save them. I can’t help but wonder if there was a little inspiration there.

Felix Threatens Karen

Again, a little hint of her backstory here. In the comics, she’s also from the New England area. Her father, Paxton Page, who gets namechecked in the threat, actually became a villain named Death’s Head in the comics.

Baseball And Bullseye

Cute that little Dex has a bullseye on his baseball cap in his childhood. Funnily enough, comic book villain Bullseye claims to have attempted to become a major league baseball player, but he got bored pitching a no hitter and threw the ball at the final hitter to kill him in a minor league game. Killing his coach when he pulls him from the game is a bit of a twist on that.

S3E06 “The Devil You Know”

Matt Doesn’t Take Karen’s Coffee

Luke Cage’s “coffee” has ruined he drink for everyone. Karen offering Matt a cup when he comes to her for help, and Matt refusing could be a sign that anything romantic between them is officially over. Or it means nothing. Who knows?

Karen Is Way Too Comfortable In A Drug Den

Karen is around drugs a lot this season. A lot. And it all seems to give a nod to her comic book story, but I feel like we’re inching toward more of her family backstory with just how comfortable she is buying drugs and making her way around other addicts.

“Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll lock me up next to Fisk.”

This did actually happen in the comics, as I’ve mentioned before. It’s a nice nod.

Felix Manning Getting Dex The Suit

Likewise, I also mentioned Felix being the one to get a copy of a Daredevil suit in the comics. Looks like his appearance was some foreshadowing after all.

Dex As Daredevil

Bullseye has actually dressed up as Daredevil in the comics as well. He’s not the only one. So has Foggy.

Karen Between Bullseye And A Victim

If Karen stepping between Dex and the witness gave you pause, it’s probably because you know how she loses her life in the comics. She gets between Bullseye and Matt in a fight, taking a lethal blow to save Matt’s life. This imagery is not going to be fun for Karen fans.

Side note: I’ve never really been a Karen Page fan because the comics put her firmly in the slot of victim. She never really outgrows that no matter who writes for her. But I love her this season. Maybe it’s because we got to see more of Karen being Karen than of trying to fill someone else’s shoes.

S3E07 “Aftermath”

The Hidden Room

Kingpin officially has a supervillain lair. Less of an Easter egg here and more of it being about time.

WJPBTV, WNEX, WHiH, etc

All of the news networks Fisk sees the Bulletin carnage on exist within the MCU already. WJPB is the news station most often seen in Luke Cage. WNEX is the station that aired Trish Talk. WHiH is the one most often seen in the movies. You get the idea.

Melvin Potter

AKA Gladiator in the comics is something of a gentle giant. He kind of fell into a life of crime, which is largely what Daredevil has done with him in the show as well. The shirt he’s wearing when Matt confronts him is a nod to his comic book costume. So are the saw blades. His girlfriend Betsy was, I believe, a social worker in the comics, not a parole officer. (BTW, the comic that features Matt, Fisk, and Bullseye breaking out of prison during a riot? Melvin’s in prison at the same time as well. Matt advises him to stay in his cell so he doesn’t get hurt.)

S3E08 “Upstairs/Downstairs”

Keys

As Karen nears the front door of her apartment, there’s a piece of paper from a legal pad that says “KEYS.” I love that she’s so focused on her work that she has likely forgotten to take her keys with her enough that it warrants a giant reminder.

Fisk’s Plan

His plan, of putting himself in charge of the criminal groups, is essentially what he wanted in season 2 as well when he gave Frank Castle a means to escape prison.

The Maggia

This is the first time the Italian-American version of the mafia has been mentioned in the present day in the MCU. I say present day because it did have its fingers in Agent Carter season two. In the comics, the Maggia gets the ire of quite a few heroes and antiheroes, but most often, the Punisher.

Sister Maggie

Unless you never read anything related to Daredevil at all, you were probably spoiled at some point that Sister Maggie was really Matt’s mom. People started speculating about the reveal being imminent as soon as there was a “get Maggie” at the end of The Defenders. In the comics, the reveal is a little different as Matt already suspected she was his mother before he found out for sure.

Apartment 131

Dex lives in apartment 131. What comic book did Bullseye make his debut in? Daredevil #131.

S3E09 “Revelations”

Kingpin

Wilson Fisk finally officially gets his codename. I like that we’re back to the season one idea of his lackeys not wanting to name him because someone is always watching/listening.

Karen’s Running

In the comics, Karen basically runs whenever things get hard. I’m kind of surprised she stuck things out this long on the show.

Rosalie Carbone

The woman we see Nadeem take in was last spotted in season two of Luke Cage making a play for Harlem. She’s the one with the Maggia connection. The other names we get are Hammond and Star. The only Hammond I know of in Marvel Comics was the original Human Torch. I’ve got nothing for Star, but the other names could have been picked at random. I don’t recognize the other two people at the table either.

S3E10 “Karen”

Karen Selling Drugs

At least this explains why she’s so comfortable in drug dens. I like that this gives us a nod to her comic book tragedy, but here she’s the seller instead of the addict.

Fagan Corners, Vermont

This is where Karen’s from in the comics as well. The name of the fictional town is an homage to Tom Rutland. Rutland organized an annual Halloween parade in Vermont themed around superheroes. He was actually written into Avengers comics in the 1970s.

Penny’s Place

Named for Karen’s mom in the comics, Penelope.

“... two lines away from doing blow jobs on the street for heroin…”

Maybe this isn’t true on the Netflix show, but yes, this happened in the comics.

Bullseye And Daredevil In The Church

Their in-church fight actually happened in the comics when Matt and Karen were hiding a baby in the church. The big difference here is that when Bullseye aimed a fatal blow at Daredevil with his own billy club, Karen got between them and died from her injury. Father Lantom takes the hit for Karen here.

S3E11 “Reunion”

Custos Diaboli

This is inscribed above the gate to get to the basement where Matt and Karen hide out. From the Latin, in translates to Guardian Devil, one of the comic book arcs the series draws from.

KTTA And ZCN

These are two of the networks I could make out on the mics in front of Fisk when he has a press conference outside of the hotel. KTTA is a television station from the comics that frequently reported on the Thunderbolts. ZCN already exists in the Netflix universe. They offered Trish Walker a job in the second season of Jessica Jones.

Nelson & Murdock: Attorneys At Law

Leave it to Foggy to formally name them as they were named in the comics (and the first season of the show).

Side note: I love the Holocaust survivor standing up to Fisk and refusing to give him her family’s painting. It very much reminds me of the scene in The Avengers when Loki demands everyone kneel, but one man reminds the crowd, “there are always men like you,” and refuses. It’s a great reminder that so many comic book creators, during an era when comics flourished, were Jewish, and their relatives were being persecuted and killed half a world away.

S3E12 “One Last Shot”

Vanessa Embracing The Kingpin

Not a lot of Easter eggs in this episode that I noticed, but I thought it was important to point out that in the normal timeline of the comics, Vanessa isn’t a part of Wilson’s criminal undertakings. In alternate timelines though, she’s the Kingpin herself. Her embracing his work and wanting to be a part of it feels like the writers are trying to find some middle ground there.

Side note: Some fans pointed out on twitter that the Morales vs Parker poster in Fogwell’s Gym is a nod to the Spider-Man characters of Marvel Comics. I find that unlikely only because there are plenty of boxers who have shared those names. It’s more likely a coincidence, especially since most of the names in previous seasons were nod to production team members and writers.

S3E13 “A New Napkin”

The Rose

Interesting that Vanessa specifies Fisk should pick the rose. Why? In the comics, Fisk’s son Richard became a vigilante who used the name the Rose. In fact, he wanted to overthrow his father at one point. His mother was the one who killed him. Will Vanessa become the Rose instead? It would be a nice touch.

The Crystals Bounce Off Fisk’s Suit Jacket

In the comics, Fisk actually wears kevlar under his suits to prevent any of his enemies from surprising him with bullets or knives. In the first season, his body armor that he was wearing were designed by Melvin Potter and he wore them under his suits. It seems he might have gotten an upgrade as everything just bounces off of it instead of tearing it, and he gives his jacket to Vanessa to prevent her being hit by anything.

Karen’s More Stable Than Jessica Jones

There are probably a lot of people more stable than Jessica Jones, Matt, jeez. That doesn’t mean she’s not a great detective.

Dex’s Injury And Cognium

In the comics, Bullseye did some time paralyzed. Of course, like all comic book characters, it didn’t last forever. Something else Dex had in the comics? A spine laced with adamantium. Yep, the same stuff on Wolverine’s bones. It’s what made him so indestructible. The MCU probably can’t use it since it’s reserved for the X-Men movies. At least not until everything about the Disney-FOX deal is official.

Dr. Oyama

This doc goes by another name in the comics. Kenji Oyama is Lord Dark Wind. This is the comic book doctor who found a way to make adamantium bond to bone. Wolverine and Bullseye have him to think for their bone structure.

Dex’s Eye

That final shot of Dex’s eye makes what we’ve all been waiting for clear. Dex is definitely officially Bullseye now.

Side note: The milk crates in the freezer with the bodies that have ice all over them? Must have been there for years. I’ve got milk crates used to store product in my freezer at work, and they never build up frost. And our freezer is kept far below zero. Also? I love how much Rosalie Carbone appreciates theatrics. And how Vanessa just wanders around in the background after Fisk repeatedly tells her to leave while there’s a huge fight going on. That’s all.

[linoholic]

Mafia!Hakyeon

Requested:  Hi can u do a VIXX N mafia au?

Warnings: mentions of blood, death and sex but nothing explicit

I am really excited to write this because N is my VIXX bias and nobody can deny that sometimes our concept kings really give off that mafia vibe. 

This is based off of a prompt I remember reading a while ago and after some digging I found where it came from, so shoutout to @fanficy-au for the prompt ideas

Also, for future reference, unsub means unknown subject and refers to the suspect in a criminal investigation. I watch way too much Criminal Minds.

Cha Hakyeon

Also known as ‘N’

Is the leader of mafia group known as VIXX, based in Seoul, South Korea

It is a very powerful group, but not very well known; mainly because they stay out of the public eye so that they can carry on their activities without the police being on their case constantly

And although they of course do illegal things

But their main goal is to take justice into their own hands when the law won’t

When the boss retired, he passed the role on to his youngest son, Hakyeon instead of his older brother or one of his older sisters, who all decided to lead normal civilian lives

This caused some tension among the older members of VIXX who thought he was too young and inexperienced, and that they should have got the leadership role instead

This tension was quickly dissolved when Hakyeon showed his capability when a rival gang had managed to infiltrate their ranks

Long story short; he quickly figured out the situation and tricked the spies into revealing themselves shortly before they would have destroyed VIXX from the inside out

These men haven’t been heard from since

This is where Hakyeon became known as ‘N’ as he changed the fate of the seemingly doomed mafia group

(If you didn’t know, Hakyeon came up with the stage name ‘N’ based of the korean word for fate, in-yeon, and the yeon in Hakyeon also took that form)

From then on, nobody questioned his abilities (outright at least)

He has five people in his ‘inner circle’ not including him who he would trust with his life

These are Taekwoon, Wonsik, Jaehwan, Hongbin and Sanghyuk

And they know that despite he cold, stoic persona he puts on when facing the leaders of other groups, officials or lower ranked VIXX members

He is actually quite warm and dorky

He often acts like a mother 

Which often catches many people off guard when he visits one of the warehouses they own and starts to scold the workers for not dressing warmly enough or not taking enough breaks

Thus the nickname ‘N-jumma’ comes about

Not that anyone except Hyuk actually calls him that to his face

Basically, he is last person someone would think to be the boss of a powerful mafia

He loves to dance when he gets the spare time to do so, and is actually very talented at it

He even made one of the rooms in his large house a dance studio, wall length mirrors and sound system included

When not doing paperwork, bossing people around or dancing he can often be found reading somewhere

And literature is the reason he meets you

Well, kind of anyway

You are an up and coming author, already being praised for your amazing mystery novels

They are clever and not cliche driven with amazing storylines and plot twists that nobody ever sees coming

And it is all going well for you

Until you get summoned for questioning by the police

Sitting in an interrogation room with no explanation as to why you are there

Until a detective comes in and tells you why

It turns out that there is a serial killer on the loose

And they are taking inspiration from your books

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse

They tell you that the unsub seems to be obsessed with you; having left notes that he is a big fan of your books and is killing so that your novels get exposure, and they are always signed off with a cursive ‘N’

Which is weird considering you live in South Korea

So that night you go home and try to get some sleep which is hard now you have the knowledge that someone is killing people for you, and that there is a policeman standing outside your door ‘just in case’ the killer tries to get to you

Meanwhile, as you lay in your bed in a restless sleep

On the other side of the city Cha Hakyeon stands pacing his office whilst his inner circle sit, all brainstorming ideas

He has just received the news concerning the serial killings

And it is troubling

He is a big fan of your books as everyone knows

He can often be seen with one in hand and has a shelf in his library solely for them

And apparently knows this and is trying framing him for these murders

There are many people it could be

If he gets arrested for this then that gets him out of the way

And so it could be somebody wanting his position of power

Or a rival wanting to hit VIXX where it hurts, their beloved leader

Of course the police and government know of him and VIXX

But they can never get something solid in order to prosecute anyone because of how they stay so deeply under the radar

But the main thing is that they know that he, Cha Hakyeon, also N

And so whereas before they left him alone because he didn’t cause them much trouble

But now he is a wanted man; for murders he didn’t commit

Knowing the intricate details of the case from one of his inside sources; he knows that you are also involved

And so he decides to meet you

If anyone could find out who was really doing all of this then it would be the person who wrote it all in the first place

And so the next night, he dresses up inconspicuously, and gets Ravi to find your address for him before heading out

Easily sneaking past the police officer stationed by you door and to a window; he climbs through with ease

Turning around he realises he climbed into your bedroom

Which would be fine and all

If you weren’t currently half naked in only a towel and staring at him in shock

Hakyeon’s first instinct is to cover his eyes and turn away like the gentleman he is

You, on the other hand, just got out of the shower after having a long day being interviewed by various detectives

When you got out you weren’t expecting to turn around a see a strange man in your room with you

A very handsome man, yes, and seemingly polite considering the way he averts his eyes from your form

But still a stranger

And so when you get over your shock you go to scream or shout or anything to get the attention of the officer outside

But before you can even open your mouth the man has traveled the short length of your room to you and covers your mouth with his hand

“I swear I am not here to hurt you. I just want to talk and so if you would please keep quiet and just hear me out? I’m going to move my hand now, can I trust you to keep quiet?” he says

You are stood frozen still as he looks into your eyes, a slight pleading look within them and so you slowly nod

And like he said he would, the man removes his hand slowly, making sure you won’t go against your word

He then glances down and realises you are still naked except for a towel and turns red, quickly averting his eyes

And yes he may be a complete stranger who broke into your room and who knows what his true intentions are

But to see someone who looks so intimidating blushing and act like a schoolboy with his crush is sort of....endearing

But you quickly shake that thought out of your head

“Could you, uh, perhaps turn around so I can get dressed?”

A couple of silent and tense moments later you are done changing and you sit down on your bed, eyeing the man suspiciously as he sits down next to you

“My name is Cha Hakyeon. And I am N.”

At his confession you immediately start to panic

“Not that N though! The real N. I’m being framed you see!” he quickly continues, calming you down only the slightest bit

“Remember, you said you would hear me out.”

Not wanting to upset a potential serial killer, you quickly nod your head

And deciding that the best way to make you understand his point of view and agree to help him is to tell the truth; Hakyeon tells you everything

About how he is the boss of powerful Mafia VIXX, about his five best friends, about how he most definitely not the person running around killing innocent people

And you are a writer at heart

You know when things are real and when they are made up

And even though this whole situation feels like it could have come straight out of one of your novels; you can’t help but feel like he is telling the truth

So you agree to help him

Now, Hakyeon can’t keep sneaking past the police stationed outside your door; it’s too dangerous for him as a wanted man

He asks you to join him in his hideout and base of operations

Not his house because it has eyes on it 24/7 in case he returns there

So, making up the excuse that you are going to stay with family out in the country and away from the mess, you go against everything your parents ever taught you as a child and pack your bags and go with him

Over the next week you two stay locked up in his office playing detective

During this time you two get to know each other

You get to know the personality he hides behind the big boss persona he puts on

And in turn he gets to know all about you and your life

You share your favourite foods; songs; colours; animals

You get to see him dance, which is an amazing experience

One day, to ease the stress this whole situation is putting on both of you, you play a game where he has to dance to whatever music you play

At first you choose the usual classical music, then hiphop

But then you start to play kpop songs and wow are you impressed

Never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined a big bad mafia boss dancing to SNSD like it was his own song

You also get to know the other boys

You find the bond between them all so amazing

They are all so close and while they all get on each others nerves, you can see that they would go to the ends of the earth for each other

Because you all become friends in this time, they also start to tease you

Mainly on the feelings that have started to grow for their leader

Sometimes you really question if they are members of powerful mafia VIXX or not

It all gets worse when one night at after a long day hacking into police databases to further your investigation into Hakyeon’s framer, you two fall asleep in his bed together after comparing notes til you both just nod off

And although you fall asleep on opposite sides, you wake up to find your head tucked under his chin and your arms wrapped around his torso

His clothes, the casual wear probably more expensive than your entire wardrobe, are more wrinkled the face of the 96 year old grandmother that lives next to you

Blood rushes to your face as you realise the position you are in

But immediately turns white as you notice that Hongbin and Jaehwan are standing at the foot of the bed, both with obnoxious smirks on their faces

You look back to Hakyeon, and he looks so relaxed in his sleep that you don’t have the heart to wake him which would happen if you moved

So you simply motion for the two males to keep quiet and snuggle back down, making the most of this time to get some more much needed sleep

Neither of you live it down the next day though

You are sure that had it been any other boss then there is no way that the teasing would be allowed

But considering N is a big softy inside he doesn’t do much except scold them, which scarily reminds you of your mother

Finally, a breakthrough in the murder’s is made, and they apprehend the person responsible after an anonymous tip off (yeah, it was you)

Turns out that Hakyeon’s first hunch was correct

The whole thing had been orchestrated by someone with a grudge that had been chucked out of VIXX for being rough with innocent people that the mafia had no qualms with and therefore making a bad name for them

After he confessed to the whole thing, Hakyeons name was cleared

To celebrate, Leo used one of his contacts to book a table at one of the finest restaurants in Seoul

Of course you get invited along

You played a big part in clearing N’s name so even when you denied the invitation, they wouldn’t take no for an answer

And when you tried to use the excuse that you had nothing to wear

Hakyeon presented you with a box that contained an outfit that you are sure costs more than you have earned your entire life; shoes and accessories included

So you had no choice but to go

In the end you are glad you went with the six men because you were in a private room and so had the freedom to drink and laugh as much as you wanted

And it ended up being one of the most fun nights you have ever had

The fact that the food was so nice was only a plus

It’s nearing 11 at night when you all start heading your separate ways

“Now that the whole serial killer ordeal is over, you are free to head back to your own house,” Hakyeon mentions as you arrive back at the hideout

His comment makes you pause in the middle of the hall

You had gotten so used to the being around so many people during your time there that the thought of going back to an empty house and leaving this whole adventure behind felt a little....weird

You had gotten so close to Hakyeon during the times you had spent locked away in his office (get your minds out of the gutter people)

While you knew you weren’t in love; you had only known each other for about 2 weeks after all; you could see yourself falling for him easily

In short, you fancied the pants off of him

Noticing that you weren’t walking behind him any longer, he turns around to face you, only to be met with the feel of soft lips against his

He immediately wraps his arms around you, deepening the kiss, and slowly walks backwards with you, kicking his bedroom door open with his foot

Let’s just say that he really proves to you his dancer’s stamina that night

Come the next morning, everybody knows that you had spent the night in the bosses room

The most used words that day were “about time” and “finally”

From that day forward, you were able to call Cha Hakyeon, the beautiful, bronze skinned god of a man yours

And he called you his

During the hard times, you were there to offer a shoulder to lean on

When he became angry you were the one called in to calm him down as you were the only one not completely scared of him in that state and he would never shout at you

You also write more novels

More romance started to appear in them as well, to the surprise of everyone who had read your previous books

Your best selling one just so happens to be about six good men doing bad things while keeping the bromance alive

And while your life will never be easy or perfect when dating the boss of one of the most powerful mafia

It is totally worth it to be able to go home after a bad day only to see Hakyeon in his expensive silk pajamas greeting you with nothing but love in his eyes

I started writing this and then got sidetracked watching their Weekly Idol episode again so I lost my train of thought in the middle kinda.

I hope you enjoy! As always, requests are open so feel free to drop by my ask box <33 xx

[chiisana-sukima]

I got interested in this topic because there’ve been a couple threads recently about the alternate dimension in 12x23 as textual absolution for Sam in regards to the Apocalypse. Opinion seemed split as to whether anyone thought Sam was at fault in the first place, and whether or not it mattered at this point anyhow, seven seasons later.

Time will tell whether it matters to SPN’s story arc anymore, and I suppose one could take the amazing response to this survey (thanks, everyone, including signal boosters!) as evidence that it still matters to at least some fans, but as to whether people think Sam was at fault in the first place, let’s find out!

An awesome 289 people responded to the survey! The split between fans whose favorite was Sam, Dean, or Cas was pretty even, with a smattering of people who had dual/triple favorites or whose favorite was a supporting character. Respondents also varied by whether they listed a single causal factor (for example “friggin angels” or “Michael’s existential crisis”), or multiple causes (for example, “Sam and Dean”, or- in response to Who Let Lucifer out of the Cage?- “who hasn’t?”).

Fans whose favorites were either Dean or Cas were more likely to assign causation to a single factor (see above). Fans whose favorite was Sam, or who had multiple or supporting favorites, were more likely to assign causation to multiple factors. I really have no clue why this would be, because I didn’t write enough questions to ever proffer a theory, but it’s weirdly fascinating, and if I didn’t think I’d blown all my survey cred on this one, I’d try to figure it out.

Before I get to results, a very important and serious shoutout to the respondents whose favorites were Baby (both of you), Andy Gallagher, and “SAM COULD RAIL ME WITH THAT MASSIVE MOOSE COCK ANY DAY OF THE WEEK”. I very much want to take a road trip with all four of you (and Sam). Call me. :D

I’m happy to see that 50% of us think angels are dicks with wings and had some role in the Apocalypse, and that 16% assigned them total responsibility. 30% of people who assigned multiple causation also included demons as a causal factor, although basically no one thought they were wholly responsible (1%).

24% of respondents assigned Sam some role in causing the Apocalypse, and 10% assigned him the only or most important role. The “technical” proviso is because some fans said Sam technically caused the Apocalypse, but was not to blame for various reasons (for example “technically Sam was the cause, but he was manipulated by Ruby”).

22% of respondents felt Dean had a partial role and 6% felt he had the most important or only role. I would never have guessed even 6%, and it just goes to show that people are a rich tapestry of ideas, and we can always keep learning from each other. This response was definitely not just bitter Sam fans either, because Dean fans were harder on Dean than Sam fans were.

Lucifer cracked 10% of respondents for partial causation, and God just hit the 10% mark, though neither scored as high as Sam and Dean, which is a whole second post on my part- so I won’t get into that atm. Lucifer got 6% of votes for complete causation and God got 4%. Ruby and Lilith are also represented, as above, and there were a lot of great individual responses that didn’t get many votes that I didn’t include because I had to fit the chart on the page somehow. Cas got a few votes here and there, but not enough to include on the chart.

There were also an amazing amount of long, semi-essay responses that I wish I had a way of including. They were pretty much all about complex causation, and many of them were really brilliant. Thanks, everyone. 💕 

This chart came out a little over-complicated, so sorry everyone. Along the bottom are respondents’ favorite characters. The darker of each color is Sam and the lighter is Dean. So dark blue is any causal role for Sam, light blue is any causal role for Dean.

As an example of a whole column set, the group on the leftmost edge is how people who picked Sam as their favorite evaluated Sam and Dean’s role in the Apocalypse. 30% of Sam fans assigned both Sam and Dean some causal role. 4% assigned Sam a major or complete role and 3% assigned a major or complete role to Dean. No Sam fans at all said Sam was the sole, unexcused cause of the Apocalypse. 2% said Dean was.

Consistent with their tendency to pick single factor causation over multifactorial causation, fewer Dean fans assigned either Sam or Dean a partial role in the Apocalypse (21% and 10% respectively), but more Dean fans assigned both Sam and Dean sole, unexcused causation (9% and 3% respectively). Cas fans were especially unlikely to choose partial causation for the boys (14%, 9%) and unexpectedly (at least to me) were equally as likely to assign Dean total causation as partial causation (9% in both cases).

The columns for fans who picked Dean and Cas as equal favorites and TFW as equal favorites are in lighter colors than the others to signal people to please be careful when considering these numbers, as there were too few respondents to generalize fairly from (only 6 Dean/Cas and 7 TFW respondents). I have no explanation for the massively outlying numbers for Sam (and Dean too, but particularly Sam) from the 6 Dean/Cas fans. I was pretty reluctant to include them tbh, because I don’t want to cause fandom strife. I would have subsumed them into the “other” category, but there were enough when combining them and the TFW fans to throw off the “other” numbers. So please be especially careful with confirmation bias when looking at these numbers- they are a nonrepresentative statistical anomaly of Dean and Cas fas, most of whom ended up in either the “Dean” or “Cas” categories.

If one is thinking about ships, probably the most representative of destiel fans would be the “Cas” category. Most representative of wincest would be the “Sam” category. Dean is probably split about 50/50 (although of course there are no doubt people in all categories who are nonshippers too).

Last but not least, I have a chart here of who respondents thought was responsible for letting Lucifer out of the Cage. There is some unknown amount of error in this (although I don’t think it’s much), as I failed to specify that I meant the first time. There were 20 responses that I couldn’t be sure referred to the first time. I left them out, but this does still introduce some error that is beyond my knowledge of statistics to figure out how to quantify or minimize further.

Not surprisingly, Sam wins out by far as the biggest cause of Lucifer getting out of the Cage (77% partial, 50% major/sole, 33% sole unexcused). I don’t have much commentary to add here, beyond the statement that it appears to me that with these high numbers, this is likely a big piece of the feeling on the part of some fans (and Jared) that Sam suffers from continued guilt feelings about the Apocalypse. The fact that some people *didn’t* choose Sam shows that there is actually more than one way to conceptualize the situation, and issues with survivor guilt (which is what any guilt feelings on Sam’s part in this case would be) often thrive in this sort of murky causal atmosphere.    

I’m going to post now, because as usual everything is slower and more complicated than I initially planned. I’m hoping to do a second post with an analysis of my initial hypothesis and results around that. It’s a potentially more divisive issue, and I don’t want to mix it in with the more general results (not to mention, the incredibly long length of this post already). I do tend to get distracted by new shiny things, but I swear I’ll do my best to actually follow up!

In the meantime, I always welcome further thoughts or analysis in reblogs or comments. I love conversation, so don’t be afraid to add!

[norskies]

Every single thing I noticed and felt while watching Taylor’s LWYMMD music video

By now I think it’s a fair assumption to make that you have already seen @taylorswift ‘s new video for Look What You Made Me Do (it had over 39 million views in the first 24 hours). If you’re like me you may have rewatched it about 13 million times trying to decipher all the hidden meanings. If you’re not (cool) like me, you may have just watched it once and wondered: “what on earth did I just see??”.

Lucky for you I’ve decided to document my entire emotional journey through the 4:15 video. Disclaimer 1: many of these theories are my own opinions or theories I’ve read from other fans. I do not pretend to understand the entire genius of T-Swift. Disclaimer 2: I am a 100% biased Taylor Swift fan and therefore this analysis is 100% biased with my love for Tay. 

HERE WE GO

Ok, opening scene. Spooky. Fits the soft but slightly creepy lullaby intro. Honestly thought we might be stepping into Hogwarts.

Here is one of the first of many “TS” we will see throughout the video.

For anyone who has been following Taylor the past year, this is a pretty clear reference to the online hate Taylor received after being “exposed” by Kim Kardashian (note: she was in no way exposed). Trolls began to fill social media with “RIP Taylor’s career” and “Taylor Swift Is Over Party”. It is a fitting place to begin the video.

Does that dress look familiar to anyone? It appears to be the same dress Taylor wore in the Out Of The Woods music video (the last video from the 1989 era...symbolic right?).

What is that on the tombstone behind Taylor? Nils Sjoberg. This was the alias name Taylor used when she helped write Calvin Harris’ “This Is What You Came For” (he later appeared to be less than happy once Taylor started receiving credit for the song). 

We now see the old Taylor that Zombie Taylor is burying. This Taylor is dressed the same as when Taylor attended the Met Gala in 2014 (marking the beginning of the 1989 era). Here we literally see post-1989 Taylor burying pre-1989 Taylor. *tears*

Taylor transforms from the graveyard into this beautiful scene. Several things to point out here. Taylor is almost literally drowning in jewels. Perhaps alluding to the media’s perception of Taylor being money obsessed? If you look closely, we also see a single dollar bill lying in the bathtub with her. Most likely referencing the symbolic 1 dollar Taylor requested in her countersuit against a former radio DJ who sexually assaulted her (Taylor won this case). Finally, and this may be a stretch but notice on the floor to the left of the bathtub what looks like a heart shaped locket? It’s possible this is the same locket that Calvin Harris gave Taylor for their 1 year anniversary. Wow. Brilliant. 

ENTER SNAKES. We now get all the snake references we could ever need (also clearing up the snake video clues Taylor teased just a few days before releasing LWYMMD). The snakes themselves are a reference to the hate Taylor received after the Kim/Kanye blow up. Haters filled her Instagram and Twitter with snake emojis implying that Taylor herself was a snake. Looks like the joke is on them now. Also notice the subtle, “et tu brute” on the chair? We see this several times in this scene, of course referring to the betrayal Taylor has felt from people she thought were her friends. 

And Snakes! Check out Taylor sipping on her tea that she now gets to serve up. It’s her time to tell the story and she’s doing it with this BA Salazar Slytherin look. 

The golden car crash. This is an interesting scene because it has many interpretations. My gut reaction was Katy Perry. The feud is well known and Katy added fuel to the fire by releasing her song “Swish Swish” that was meant to be a dig at Tay. I think she looks very much like Katy here with the sunglasses and the short blonde hair. Notice she is even holding a single Grammy (something that Katy Perry does not have). However, it’s also been pointed out that this may also be a Kim Kardashian reference (which I will discuss later).

A further analysis of the car crash shows the paparazzi taking pictures after Taylor crashes. Perhaps symbolically saying that the media loves to see Taylor suffer and fail? 

Two things to note here. 1) Jaguar? Your guess is as good as mine. 2) The cute little guy is wearing a golden 13. 

Next, we find Taylor in what looks like a giant bird cage. Wearing orange to perhaps symbolize that she feels like a prisoner at times? We also see a snake tattoo on her right leg. 

At this point in the song, Taylor says “and threw a feast”. This could be a reference to KP’s song Bon Appetit. But it is unclear. Also, notice the rat on the table? Yeup just thought I’d point him out. 

Now, this is a fun scene. Tay is robbing a currently undisclosed location. The cat masks could be a cute play at Taylor’s love for cats. Or could be another hit at Katy. Either way, it’s a great scene. Her sweatshirt reads “blind for love” as we know Taylor frequently referred to herself as a hopeless romantic. 

We are now introduced to biker chick Taylor. It might seem a little out of place at first. But remember when Taylor got hate for her Bad Blood video apparently ripping off of Britney Spear’s Toxic? This very well may be alluding to that. 

Absolutely love this part. We now see what Taylor was robbing. A streaming company. Of course. After the backlash, she got from leaving Spotify and writing her letter to Apple this scene makes perfect sense. Side note: absolutely adored Taylor’s letter to Apple. You go girl. 

What is Taylor doing dictating what looks like an army of life size barbies? This is a reference to the “squad” and the comments Taylor received that her friendship circle was more like a cult of freakishly perfect looking women as opposed to a genuine group of friends. 

Which of course leads us to the falling out of the squad the media claimed happened but didn’t. 

Taylor enters the mansion. As soon as she enters the room the men immediately step up to do her bidding. As if Taylor is their commander and they must obey. 

This is our first glimpse of the mysterious airplane Taylor. We only see short glimpses of her but she seems to serve an important role. She perhaps represents the real Taylor that neither the media nor the fans truly get to see or understand fully. 

The boys are back. 8 of them all in line (apparently something only Beyonce is allowed to do if you ask Twitter). She could be representing her past relationships and the scorn she received for each one. Fun fact: it’s Taylor’s back up dancers from the 1989 world tour! 

The I <3 TS shirt. Tom Hiddleston wore an I <3 TS shirt while dating Taylor. He got mocked and Taylor got called manipulative for “forcing him to wear it”. Taking a wild guess here, but pretty sure Tom makes his own wardrobe choices.

This is our first real glimpse at the “Reputation” era Taylor. She’s dark. Her hair is slicked back. And she looks like she is 100% done apologizing. She is standing on top of a mound of the “old Taylors”. 

Shoutout to Fearless era Taylor with the iconic 13 on her hand. What a gem. 

This is one of the best shots in the video. A look at the past decade of Taylor. How many Taylor’s can you spot? 

More snakes. Side note: You can actually buy this snake ring on Taylor’s merch store. Taylor now reveals to us the most anticipated line of the song. “I’m sorry the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cuz she’s dead.” This line brings the entire song together as well as the symbolism of Taylor wiping her social media a week prior to LWYMMD release. The old Taylor is dead. The haters have killed her. 

Taylor breaks it down with her backup dancers to some pretty great choreography. I like to think of this as shade to all the people who made fun of Taylor’s dancing abilities. Our girl can dance.

Annnnnnnnd boom! Our Jaguar friend is back. Still unsure what he represents but he’s pretty cute. 

SNAKES 

Let’s pause to appreciate the adorable wink Tay gives us here. Reputation may be a darker album than we are used to but Taylor is still the light-hearted girl we’ve always known. 

Wow, she’s like Super Woman. 

This is one of the best views we get of the mysterious airplane Taylor. Who are you??? 

We finally come to the last and most important scene. 15 Taylors. 14 lined out in front and one back on the airplane. There just so happens to be 15 songs on the new album reputation...coincidence?? Also, notice TS6 written on the end of the plane? Subtle genius. 

You Belong With Me Taylor is precious. She’s so happy and genuinely surprised that she has accomplished all that she has. But everyone hates her for that and will drag her down until she no longer will show that much genuine and pure happiness at an award show again. Also, recognize that shirt from the YBWM music video? Only now it’s slightly different. This time it has real names of Taylor’s real friends you might recognize. Like Selena, Ed, and Jack. 

As the scene continues we see Shake It Off Taylor mock YBWM Taylor for being surprised all the time. Mansion Taylor calls Zombie Taylor/SIO Taylor a b**ch and Zombie Talyor responds with “don’t call me that!” Alluding to Kanye calling Taylor this in his song “Famous”. In real life, Taylor responded by making a very strong statement against Kanye’s words during her Album of the Year acceptance speech at the Grammys later that year. 

A particularly heart-wrenching scene. Fearless Taylor tries to calm everyone down but gets shut down by We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Tour) Taylor, calling her a fake. We see the young innocent Taylor begin to cry. The young sweet girl who got stomped on by the world for making music about love. It is sure to elicit a few tears. 

“There she goes playing the victim again”. Taylor is literally beating the haters to the punch. 

Met Gala Taylor Asks Katy/Kim Taylor what she’s doing and she responds with “getting receipts...gonna edit this later.” This could be interpreted in two ways. If this is meant to be Katy, it could be referencing the song “Swish Swish” where Katy claims that “karma keeps receipts”. Or if it is Kim, it would be naturally referencing the snapchat videos Kim perhaps “edited” of Kanye and Taylor’s phone conversation. Side note: it is illegal to record people without their consent in certain states, Kim. 

Finally, we see 2009 VMA Taylor who had been interrupted by Kanye West while she was accepting her award for Best Female Music Video of the Year. She quotes 2016 Taylor by saying “I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative”. Which all the other Taylor’s and symbolically the world respond with... 

“SHUT UP”. Here Taylor is telling us that no matter what she does or doesn’t do, she will be judged. It isn’t fair but it is something she has accepted. She will no longer be providing any explanation. There will just be reputation.

[junker-town]

‘The Bachelor’ Recap: Let’s go to ... Cleveland?!

ABC

Football, amusement parks, and ... dating country singers?

We at SB Nation realize The Bachelor is very much sports. Therefore, each week we’ll recap all the heartbreak, drama, and excitement. If you missed anything, catch up on last week’s action here.

Get excited! Pilot Peter is taking this show on the road as he and the ladies are going to ...

CLEVELAND!

ABC

“Did he say...Cleveland?”

The excitement was palpable. I fully respect the self-awareness of this Cleveland.com article discussing The Bachelor’s trip to their fair city, saying, “We’re betting, though, like most tourists that come here, they’ll be pleasantly surprised at what they find.”

Look, Cleveland is actually pretty delightful, but Cleveland seems like a letdown when you consider that Colton’s ladies went to SINGAPORE for their first trip away from the Bachelor Mansion. Previous seasons went to Park City, Lake Tahoe, and Hilton Head for their first foray into the real world, so I can see how maybe the home of the Cleveland Browns was a bit of a let down.

One-on-one date — Victoria F.

I love amusement parks (shoutout Busch Gardens Williamsburg ... you’re my jam). They’re fun, rollercoasters are great, and there’s relatively good food and beer depending on where you go. Peter takes Victoria F. to Cedar Point, which THEY HAVE ENTIRELY TO THEMSELVES*.

*I am assuming there is staff there to, you know, run the rides.

This is arguably a perfect date, and the pair has a ton of fun riding rides without having to wait in line with hundreds of their closest friends. After a couple beers, they wrap up the day portion with a surely relaxing private concert featuring country singer Chase Rice.

Wait, Victoria F., why do you look so concerned?

ABC

“Wait, who is that singing.”

Turns out, SHE USED TO DATE SAID COUNTRY SINGER. Ah, Bachelor producers, you got us again.

At dinner, Victoria F. breaks the news (more on that later) that she and Rice used to date, and the most hilarious conversation in Bachelor franchise history ensued:

Victoria F: So, Chase and I used to date.

Peter: Like, the singer Chase?

[pause]

Peter: Like, the guy that was doing the concert?

Victoria F: Yeah.

Peter: Wait, what?

Victoria F: [solemnly nods]

Peter: [bewildered] No.

Victoria: I’m like shaking right now.

Peter: The guy that was singing? I talked to him. What?

After Peter got over the initial shock that, like, the singer Chase was the one Victoria F. was referring to, he was pretty chill. She got the rose and was serenaded by a man — not Chase Rice, unfortunately — playing the cello.

Group date

What do you when you’re in Cleveland? [checks notes] Football! Peter takes the ladies to FirstEnergy Stadium for the Bachelor Bowl, during which they LEGIT hit each other.

They are hitting harder in #TheBachelor football game tonight than in several Big 12 games I watched this year. This is Utah-BYU level hitting. Sheesh

— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) January 28, 2020

On the first play from scrimmage, Shiann rattles off one of her four touchdown runs, completely exposing the defense of the yellow team.

ABC

It actually turns into a great game, with the yellow squad — who are inexplicably called The Killer Bs — tying the game at 28 as the clock expires. Congratulations, ladies. Your prize is that all 13 of you go to the evening portion of the date. What could go wrong?

Wait, what’s that? IS THAT ALAYAH’S MUSIC?

[Extremely Eminem voice] Guess who’s back? Back again. Alayah’s back. Tell a friend.

All the ladies get VERY upset, and in true naive-Peter fashion, he gives Alayah the group rose. You know, the rose for the group date she wasn’t on and didn’t sacrifice her body for.

One-on-one date — Kelsey

In case you forgot over the last week, Kelsey is best-known in the house for her role in the Champagne Crisis that dominated house discussion for the first two weeks. Peter and Kelsey just wandered around downtown Cleveland for their date, stumbling upon a polka party that honestly looked like a blast.

At the dinner (AKA “tell your saddest story”) portion of the evening, Kelsey told Peter that she found out about her parents’ impending divorce before her mom found out ... BECAUSE SHE CAME HOME TO A NOTE FROM HER DAD ON THE COUNTER WITH HIS WEDDING RING.

That’s ... brutal.

He disappeared to Mexico to start a new life, and she didn’t see him for 12 years. Yikes. She got a well-deserved hug and the rose, ensuring her mansion safety for another week.

Cocktail party

If you love the Alayah vs. the world drama, you loved the cocktail party portion of the episode. Poor, sweet Peter was so excited coming into the cocktail party, and then he saw the ladies.

ABC

Look how excited they are! Deandra and Natasha call Peter on his bullshit of bringing back Alayah, he has a really weird conversation with Victoria P., and the episode runs out of time before anyone is eliminated.

Onto the highlights!

Most low-key insults of Cleveland

It’s fair to say the ladies weren’t stoked to go to Ohio. I appreciate the work Chris Harrison put in to build it up, but here’s the video of the announcement:

Just incredible pic.twitter.com/so3cczI0zR

— lindsey ok (@lindseyyok) January 28, 2020

Once the ladies got over the shock of being told they were going to Cleveland, they dropped some fire backhanded compliments at the home of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

“When I think of Ohio, I don’t really think of romance, but I hope Cleveland surprises us.”

“None of us have really gone there, so you know what, Cleveland? Bring it on.”

“I wasn’t expecting it to be this nice.”

Most thought-out reason for having an even number of kids — AMUSEMENT PARKS

After riding a bunch of rides at Cedar Point, Peter asked Victoria F. how many kids she wanted. Her reply? Four. Peter was overly enthusiastic about this response, sharing that he wanted to have either two OR four kids. Not one. Not three. His reasoning?

He didn’t want to go to an amusement park as a family with an odd number of kids because then someone would have to ride alone.

Me:

Most unnecessary meltdown — Victoria F.

Congratulations, Victoria. You have taken what should have been an automatic award to Mykenna, who seemingly cries every 14 seconds.

Look. Is it weird to have an awkward special concert at a nearly empty amusement park? Yes! Is it insanely unfortunate to have an ex surprise you as the one serenading you and your new beau in aforementioned amusement park? Absolutely! Is this your fault in any way or should you be ashamed? LOL, hell no.

Who gives a shit, Victoria? You ran into your incredibly hot ex. Most of us wish that this could happen when you’re a) looking pretty as hell, and b) are on a super-fun date with a new guy.

Of course Victoria acts super weird, gets all dramatic when she tells Peter, and runs away to cry in a corner during the dinner portion of the date. If Peter had made a big deal out of it, maybe I could understand the reaction — but he was super cool and expected the women to have pasts that involve exes.

To be fair, this moment was so epically awkward they should hang this in the Louvre:

ABC

Best football advice — Hanford Dixon

After the pink team easily broke free for a touchdown, former Cleveland Brown Hanford Dixon told Deandra, “You can’t let them run and make a touchdown, because if they make a touchdown, then they score, and we’re at a disadvantage. Does everybody understand?”

I mean, he’s not wrong.

Football MVP — Shiann

DAMN GIRL. Shiann, or “Shiannimal” as Pete called her, seemingly rushed for all four touchdowns for the Eliminators. She dominated the opposing team’s defense, and Natasha offered to “block for her ass” so she could grab Peter first in the date’s now-overcrowded evening portion.

Well done, Shiann. Well done. You’re now a Cleveland Brown!

[pendulumprince]

@zeravlarotsen​ said: Hey thanks for the shoutout to my previous theory lol(that turned out to be somewhat right with Ai being way more powerful than the others), but heres a supplementary one!: Recently, Ai themself made a comment on how Yusaku seems like an Ai. We’ve been making these theories about Yusaku as an Ai or The Ais being made from the six lost children, but what if its both?

Consider: Yusaku is very Ai-like, while Ignis is very human-like. What if the reason why Ignis is very human like is because some of Yusakus ‘humanity’ was taken and given to Ai? Considering that there were 5 other children, its very possible that the other five were 'failed’ experiments, resulting in Ai’s that could 'act’ human, but had no free will like Ignis

That could also correspond as to why the other Ai’s hate ignis: they were the failures, while Ignis is the cheeky, superior Ai. We know he has no qualms in lording his superiority over ‘lesser’ machines, so he could have held his status over his heads

Finally, the Ais and The children HAVE to be connected, so the Ai’s take after their personality (Big Yellow acts strong and is bulky like Go, Red seems constabtly angry like Revolver, etc). So it would make sense that Ignis, being the successful experiment, would have basically taken Yusakus personality for himself, leaving Yusaku an empty shell.

When was it confirmed that Ai is more powerful than the others? The only time the other five were alluded to was in the Revolver vs Playmaker duel, when Revolver went into the origins of the Ignis’s. Like I’m asking sincerely, did I miss something? 

But unless I truly did miss this confirmation, I’m more inclined to believe that Ai is the weakest, and/or incomplete. I’m going to go into why that is, but don’t take that as me thinking your main idea here can’t happen. It can, and I’ll get to that in a bit. 

As for Ai’s strength in relation to the others, we can’t forget that in episode 1 Revolver trapped the other five Ignis’s...��and gave no thought to Ai. It’s obvious he didn’t need to trap Ai in order to destroy the Cyberse; it’s almost like he forgot Ai even existed. And everyone there was surprised when Ai did what he did, like they didn’t think he was capable of it. If Ai were the most powerful/complete, wouldn’t Revolver focus on trapping him as opposed to the failed experiments? 

We also have no real proof that the other five have less free will/emotional capacity than Ai. Nothing they said in episode 1 suggests they’re more robotic, and they haven’t been directly talked about since. And when Revolver talked about free will, he was referring to the species of Ignis in general---not just “our” Ignis. So I doubt the others are faking it; they have to have free will to some degree.

And lastly... Playmaker’s pretty much the most powerful duelist in Vrains right now. And maybe this is just me, but I think this overpowered protagonist being balanced out by an especially weak partner takes away from the perception of invincibility. We know that our main duo is fighting an uphill battle not only because of Yusaku’s missing memories, but because Ai’s vulnerability can be felt at all times. He’s never safe---not even from Yusaku. If it turns out he’s been hiding his real strength (admittingly, it would be in-character for him to do this) then it would defuse that tension, and make it seem like Playmaker’s absolute victory is only a matter of time. 

Now that that’s out of the way, now onto the core of your theory here lol

We know that Ai is different from the others. And I don’t think anyone missed that “Are you an AI?” line, that had ‘foreshadowing written all over it. But I’m going to propose that if this theory is true---if Yusaku is so AI-like because Ai took away most of his humanity, more than what was perhaps necessary---then it’s a mark that something is “wrong” with Ai.

Because the Ignis’s were created to be sentient, but they were also created with a purpose. Maybe Dr. Kogami just wanted to create them for the sake of it, but we know SOL had a hand in things. They wanted to use the Ignis’s for their own gain.

More sentience doesn’t mean more strength. So why in the world would they view Ai as a success? Whether he’s the weakest or the strongest, he’s hard to control. He’s annoying as hell. He’s bending to Yusaku’s will now both because he needs his protection and has little other choice, but it’s clear that he otherwise doens’t like being told what to do. 

And by hiding the Cyberse, he screwed up not only the KoH’s plans, but SOL’s as well. The whole reason why they’re after Ai is because they need the Cyberse for Link Vrains. 

The point is, Ai’s wild displays of free will have only worked to SOL/the KoH’s detriment. And, you could say Yusaku being so robotic has also only been trouble, because he’s super focused on defeating whoever was responsible for his broken past.

You see what I’m getting at? This sort of hyperexchange between Yusaku and Ai would benefit none of the groups who were/are trying to take advantage of them. Which is why if this did happen, I doubt it was by their design---and so, not a success, but a failure. So if it wasn’t SOL/Kogami, then who initiated that hyperexchange?

Ai did.

I mean... we’ve been speculating on what Ai’s potential heel-turn might look like, but it could also be that he started out evil. First off, he’s purple (I’m dead serious, we’ve had a shitton of purple villains). And second, we know Ai is pretty goofy and docile... until he’s not. He’s proven that he can be a real monster when he wants to be. 

And so far, he’s only done that to protect Playmaker, and/or attack their mutual enemy, the KoH. That doesn’t mean this was always the case. It could be that Ai took everything from Yusaku by is own volition. And then, he somehow saw the error of his ways, and face-turned. 

Something like this happening could explain why the other Ignis’s hated him. Maybe it wasn’t so much that they were jealous, but they were disgusted that he would use his mini-human in that way. Or maybe they were scared by the violence he was capable of. 

And Ai having been evil would also explain why he was so damn tolerant of Yusaku’s death threats in the beginning, why he tolerates being talked down to in general, and why he’s done nothing but help Yusaku despite it all. Yeah, he needs the protection, but... Ai could theoretically go full-monster on Playmaker and just bite his fucking head off. If he can take this form in the real world, he could do the same to Shoichi. But he hasn’t, and likely never will. It could be that he feels like he deserves it, deep down. Maybe he's trying to make up for something.

... I feel like I really went on a tangent here lol. I’m also sorry if I deviated too much from your original theory?? I do like the idea of Yusaku and Ai having almost swaped personalities, and there has to be a reason why Yusaku the Human acts like an AI, while AI the Ignis acts like a human. This theory could explain it perfectly.

[amandajoyce118]

Black Panther Easter Eggs And References

Instead of doing a Six Sentence Sunday this week, I thought I’d finally get around to writing up and sharing some Easter eggs and references from Black Panther. I’ve now seen the movie twice, so I think I’ve got a fair amount, but I’m also sure there are going to be things I missed.

If you haven’t yet seen this movie, there are spoilers in my list! So. Many. Spoilers. You have been warned.

I’m not going to give you everyone’s comic book history and what’s been changed for each character for the movie, but what I will say is that I think this is one of the few MCU movies where every single named character exists in the comics, which is pretty fantastic.

The Marvel Comic flip.

Before the Marvel characters and logo appear on screen, the studio still uses the flipping comic book pages to give you a little nod to their history. Usually, the images are the same for the MCU with the Avengers you see across Phase 1. This time, if you blink you might miss it, there’s a Black Panther symbol in those pages.

The history of Wakanda.

The movie’s opening has a father telling his son (you might have that it was T’Challa getting the story when the movie first opened, but that’s definitely Erik being told the story by his father) the story of vibranium landing in the middle of Africa, tribes separating, and Wakanda being built around the vibranium mound. He also details the lineage of Black Panthers. All that is almost exactly out of the comics. The MCU often changes bits and pieces of the story, like it does for T’Challa’s father dying when he’s an adult instead of a boy, but this stunning set up is almost exactly the same.

Oakland, 1992.

Oakland happened to be where director Ryan Coogler grew up and it’s also where the Black Panther political movement was born in the 60s - shortly after the comic book character made his debut. I’m not sure if 1992 is a significant year for him because it’s not for Black Panther. The previous comic book series ended in 1991 and another volume wasn’t published until 1998. It was considered a particular “bloody” year by local papers though. There were 167 known murders that occurred in Oakland that year, which apparently was a record at the time. Since that’s particularly dark, let’s also note that the Oakland Athletics (that’s baseball, folks), finished first in the American League West that year. (When the movie returns to Oakland at the end, that’s also a nod to Coogler’s real life dream: to be able to give back to the community that raised him. T’Challa puts a Wakandan Outreach program in place. Coogler spoke in some of his very first interviews about wanting to bring his movies to Oakland, to film there, to generate revenue for the city, to work with kids that live there in arts programs.)

Public Enemy.

One of the posters on the wall of the Oakland apartment is for Public Enemy, which seems appropriate for a guy in 90s Oakland who wants to bring power back to his people.

The MCU timeline.

The movie references it being a week since the UN conference and T’Chaka’s death, so it’s set right after the events of Captain America: Civil War, putting it right before Spider-Man: Homecoming and Doctor Strange, but also possible happening during the last few episodes of Agents of SHIELD’s third season. So, don’t expect a crossover there.

Killmonger’s mask.

In addition to being inspired by real life ceremonial masks worn by the Igbo, the mask also draws on comic book inspiration. Killmonger wears a mask very similar to the one in the movie during his first confrontation with T’Challa in the comics.

Killmonger’s girlfriend.

So, this might not have been intentional, and this might not even really be an Easter egg, but one relationship long time comic book readers will remember is that of Killmonger and Madam Slay. Madam Slay had trained leopards (and we do see leopard-like spots in Killmonger’s costume later), and she was his right hand for a few issues when Black Panther stories were being told as part of Jungle Action comics. She had a thing for knives and wanted to help Killmonger kill T’Challa. Of course, she was also Wakandan, so maybe the woman seen in the movie isn’t her.

Klaue’s arm.

The cannon in Klaue’s arm is inspired by the comic book design. He has a “sonic cannon” in his arm in the comics, which gets something of a shoutout when he says it’s sonic mining equipment that was used to give him the arm in the movie.

Shuri’s buns.

When T’Challa meets his family off the plane, Shuri’s hair is in a couple of buns. That’s your Star Wars reference as it was meant as an homage to another princess in a galaxy far, far, away. Letitia Wright confirmed the nod in an interview.

“What are thoooose?”

I hear this is a nod to a famous vine. LOL Okay, I have to admit that I was never into vine, but everyone in the theater under 30 found this hilarious. I found it more adorable that Shuri bases her shoe design on Back to the Future. But hey, we all find different things funny.

Mount Bashenga.

Shuri’s lab is inside a mountain named for the first known king of Wakanda that becomes Black Panther. He’s even named in the opening sequence of a bed time story.

M’Baku makes a move toward Shuri.

During the challenge, as M’Baku talks about the things he disagrees with in Wakanda, one of them is “a child” being in charge of the technology. In the comics, M’Baku specifically wants to get rid of all of the futuristic tech in Wakanda. He also, at one point, kidnaps Shuri. So, that brief moment struck me as a nod to that.

So, I’ll also note here that M’Baku is a big departure from the comics, but a lot of things were kept to provide a nod to the source material. Like Nakia calling him the “Great Gorilla” when she meets him because the villain name Man-Ape is pretty racist, no? Her term is more a sign of respect. The skin he wears over his shoulders? A nod to him killing a White Gorilla in the comics in a ritual that gives him the strength and stamina of the animal.

(Also, side note: the movie cut, but set design kept, the Jabari tribe loving the wood from a sacred tree in the mountains and using that to build their homes with. It’s in direct contrast with the high tech Vibranium. Winston Duke also worked with a dialect coach so his rhythms would be closer to different Nigerian dialects instead of South African dialects to differentiate himself from the rest of the main cast, setting the Jabari apart from the rest of Wakanda. It was also his idea to do the barking/grunting sounds as a nod to the comic book source material, but to give the Jabari a way to make an entrance and shut people up.

Okoye complains about that wig.

Honestly, this only struck me because Danai Gurira has to wear a massive wig for her role as Michonne on The Walking Dead. I know she’s spoken at length about loving that role, but I immediately thought her character’s hatred for wigs was a nod to the fact that she spends so much of the year in one.

The Pan African flag.

The stripes of the Pan African flag are green, black, and red, so when Nakia, T’Challa, and Okoye walk into the underground gambling ring in Korea and stand at the guardrail, you’re seeing that flag brought to life. (And for those who think that’s reaching for symbolism, Ryan Coogler confirmed in an interview that was the intention of the costuming decisions in that scene.)

Stan Lee’s cameo.

We all recognize Stan Lee by now, but in case you missed him, he’s one of the gamblers. He talks to Agent Ross and takes T’Challa’s winnings when he leaves them behind.

“Every breath you take is mercy from me.”

T’Challa says this line to Klaue in the movie, but in the comics, he said it to someone else. He said it to Namor following the arrival of Thanos in Wakanda. T’Challa and Namor have a complicated frenemy-ship, we’ll say. I kind of hope Namor (since the rights are back with Marvel) gets to make his debut in a Black Panther movie.

Vibranium from Sokovia.

When Agent Ross and T’Challa chat in the casino, Ross mentions the guy he’s dealing with also having been traced to the events in Sokovia. So, just in case you needed another big flashing sign for an MCU connection, there you go.

The story of El Dorado.

Klaue tells the story of a Golden City, and how people searched for it in South America. In addition to trying the movie to the legend of El Dorado, it’s also a nod to the capital city of Wakanda in the comics, called the Golden City. It’s where the royal family lives and where most of the activity takes place in the comics.

Another broken white boy.

When Shuri makes the comment that there’s another broken white boy for them to fix (after the CIA agent is brought in to have his spine repaired), I actually didn’t think about the fact that Bucky Barnes was cryogenically frozen in Wakanda for safe keeping, though I’m sure plenty others did, but of Hunter, T’Challa and Shuri’s adopted brother. T’Chaka saved the boy after his parents died in a plane crash over Wakanda and raised them with his children. Hunter grew to be jealous of T’Challa and the leader of the War Dogs. He was a sometimes enemy of his adopted brother. Of course, the post-credit scene makes it clear that Bucky is standing in for Hunter since the kids even call him by Hunter’s comic book name, “White Wolf,” even if the timeline doesn’t quite add up.

The influence of African cultures.

Yes, Black Panther is a comic book movie, but Black Panther also takes a whole lot of inspiration from different African cultures. For example, the Dora Milaje are inspired by the Dahomey Amazons, an all female military group that essentially died out after the mid twentieth century. The costuming, the body modification, the language, and even the hairstyles in the movie are all rooted in different African cultures. This twitter thread does an amazing job at explaining so much of what you see in the movie.

It’s also worth noting that you won’t see a Wakandan character in the movie with relaxed hair. Why? The country was never colonized. I believe it was Lupita Nyong'o who explained in interviews that the idea of relaxing kinky hair was brought about by colonizers shaming Africans for their looks. Because Wakanda has never been colonized, the residents have pride in something as simple as natural hair.

War Dog assignments.

The “War Dogs” are referenced several times, but outside of Nakia being called a spy, there’s not a whole of information about them. So, the term War Dog is actually in reference to the Hatut Zeraze, which are the “secret police” in Wakanda in the comics. T’Challa actually disbands them when he becomes King because he doesn’t like the idea of sending out people to assassinate others around the world, which is one of their jobs. The movie appears to have made them literal spies instead of assassins.

Shuri’s gauntlets.

I’m sure a lot of people noticed that she built her gauntlets to resemble the heads of panthers. While that’s obviously a nod to the Black Panther being Wakanda’s hero, it’s likely also a nod to Shuri becoming the Black Panther in the comics. She takes her brother’s place when he’s gravely ill and she also becomes the Queen her country needs.

Over the waterfall.

The moment where Killmonger tosses T’Challa over the edge of the cliff? Taken exactly from the comics. T’Challa survives that fall as well, though he doesn’t get help from M’Baku in the comics since they were enemies as well there.

War Dog cities.

When Killmonger and W’Kabi discuss which War Dogs have responded to his plans to take over the world, they are in very specific cities. New York, London, and Hong Kong are mentioned. Those also happen to be the cities that house Sanctum Santorums in the Doctor Strange movie, which means they’re hot spots for magic, lines between realms, etc. (Though this could be a coincidence as they’re also well known and well populated cities that world wide audiences would recognize.)

Killmonger’s Black Panther suit.

I already mentions that he gets leopard-like spots on it, which could serve as a nod to Madam Slay’s leopards, but there’s more. Black Leopard was the name used for Black Panther briefly in the comics to distance the character from any politics. Killmonger also had a sidekick in the form of a leopard he called Preyy. The gold tones in his costume - and particularly the look of the necklace - are a direct callback to what the actual Black Panther suit most often looks like in the comics as well.

T’Challa wrestles a rhino.

The scene where Black Panther takes down a rhino? Pretty much exactly out of the comics. In his very first comic book run in Jungle Action comics - the run is actually called Marvel’s first graphic novel - he had to wrestle a rhino to the ground in the same way.

Alex R. Hibbert.

The young actor, famous now for his role in Moonlight, gets a cameo at the end of the movie as the little boy who chats with T’Challa about his ship. Ryan Coogler is a big fan of Moonlight and has said that the director actual gave him a lot of support in his career. Hibbert gets the last official line in the movie, though there is a mid credits scene and a post credits scene.