#there's not enough Lis POV angst in this fandom

[auntie-coagulant]

She steps into the scalding fall of water and stands, shaking, begging the weight of the steam to push the scream back down her throat. She has too much to do. She doesn’t have time for this.

She doesn’t have time, none of them do.

She’d wanted to scream the words at him, reach into his chest with her rage and shake the center of him until some sincerity fell out. And then some had, coated in his bitterness and frustration.

The chill of this sterile, stainless-steel life she’s resigned herself to feels like a prison sentence. She’d been doing her best to ignore the bars, but the cold was sinking into her bones, and Travis’s words echo like the grinding screech of a closing lock.

A low, animal keening rises over the rush of the water.

Elisabet clamps a hand over her mouth as she slides slowly down the wall of the shower, locking her jaws around a sob. Curls in on herself trying to deny it the space it needs to grow.

She sometimes wishes she had The Option, as people have taken to calling it. But choices are for other people. She'd never say it out loud, but she envies Tom his freedom and the knowledge that when his job is done, he can set the burden down and drift painlessly to sleep. She doesn’t think her work will ever be done and the yawning years of confinement stretch out in front of her like a different sort of death.

[phoenixcatch7]

Deep in my ff7 rereads so here are my favourite fandom fics, hands down.

End as you mean to begin <- 130k+ of time travelling cloud parenting the remnants, seeking asylum in a war torn wutai to keep all four of them out of shinras hands while sephiroth is absolutely Going Through It in midgar. Great Genesis characterisation and cloud mothering his way to an international incident. Bonus gender hijinks, hilarious misunderstandings and zack. Unfinished.

The fear of falling stars <- 500k+ and soon to be completed. Cloud and insane!Sephiroth time travel back to their shinra days and I cannot emphasise enough how much cloud is Not Doing Well. Gorgeous wordplay and top tier banter. Utterly unhinged blood enemies to ??? to ?????? to lovers sefikura. It's E rated and probably the tensest I've ever been reading fic lol, it is not lighthearted! But it's incredibly well written and the characters are phenomenal (zack my beloved) so if you've got strong nerves (and like a quarantine pairing) I'd definitely recommend it.

Voice of the gods <- 170k+ of almost idyllic gods and avatars au. Slow, soft and full of world building, it's a lovely relaxing read of cloud getting anointed the envoy of sephiroth, god of war, and slowly growing into his role and joining the ranks of envoy. Lots of side characters take larger roles here, and sephiroth himself is a darling without losing his sharpest edges. Unfinished.

I CAN FIX HIM (series) <- possibly my favourite sephiroth characterisations ever. 130k and growing of pure shaking this man like a doll in a perfect mix of almost delirious crack and gutting angst (often both at once!). Very good writing, every single funny moment hits like a truck and keeps building until you're choking with laughter. Bonus points to ROADTRIP! for being utterly, utterly insane. I cannot emphasise enough just how GOOD every single character and their dynamics are written.

Just anything ff7 written by AimeeLouWrites, if you've been in this fandom for any length of time you'll have heard of her. Great concepts, great executions and aus for DAYS.

Five hearts to make him whole <- 130k+ of time/dimension travelling cloud getting sent to a world of soulmates - and his alternate self bagged all four soldier firsts. Alternate cloud also died violently a few years ago and boy did those soulmates (not) take it well. Our cloud, of course, was not read in on any of this. Shout out to the emotional support chocobo! Unfinished?

Shall I find rest <- another soulmate agszc (?) dimension cross but this one is 100k+ of post AC cloud and Tifa waking up and deciding to make it everyone else's problem. They're so done with all the drama. Bamf nibel duo to the end and Tifa is the mvp. Unfinished.

Advanced release <- 250k+ and it's sephiroth receiving the original game in a strange packet that appeared in his room. It spirals into a messy and painful exposure of conspiracy, lies and inevitable tragedy. Video game logic is a running gag and zack remains the only actually stable person in the whole sorry mess but he's also Having a Terrible Experience. Really well written!!! Unfinished.

On broken wings <- 160k+ of pure post AC sephiroth redemption from his pov. Him struggling to find his place in a new world and experience real human connection evolves into MOOGLE EMBASSY need I say more?? Unfinished.

With Great Power Comes Meddling Fucking Gods <- 470k+! Poly WEAPON cloud gets yoinked back to the past (feat agzs), dies for a few days and misses his family SO bad but he is determined to change the future for the better. Probably the most healthy and mature cloud ever lol. Unfortunately for him, insane!sephiroth is pulling a inner hollow and gaia herself isn't talking. If you like symbolism, whoo boy!! The dream sequences are a DOOZY (and drowning in eroticism). Wonderfully written, the divide between sane!sephiroth and his counterpart is really cool to see. E rated at times but it's absolutely DELIGHTFUL and WEAPON cloud is such a treat. And I cannot emphasise enough the symbolism. Zackkura (kinda) and slow burn! Unfinished.

A brand need not be seen <- 180k+ in a world of soulmates where the four firsts have clouds name on their wrists. Trooper cloud is tentatively, desperately hopeful. Then a smoking hot op af adult cloud appears, with no names on his wrists at all. It's a really cute flirty fic despite covering shinra politics, identity crises, huge self worth issues, lots of trauma, and finding your own place in the world. Unfinished.

Memory's struggle <- 250k+ of cascading time travel. Basically everyone goes back, which goes great XD. Everyone... Except cloud. I read this a while ago but I do remember poor cloud just getting loved and spoiled by literally everyone and freaking out about it lmao. He was so confused! Unfinished.

Additional edit:

A solitude of space <- a wonderfully soothing 90k complete of sephiroth getting resurrected and moving to stardew valley to become the farmer. It's sooooo peaceful and following him as he grows into his own person and experiences real normality and community is lovely, if a touch angsty. Eventual sefikura with cloud moving to the farm when he's not doing deliveries. It's just. Really nice. I think I cried at the end. Finished!

One-Winged Angel's Self-Saving System <- 55k+ sephiroth enters the Chinese fantasy Scum Villain world in place of the scum villain himself! (He's the third person to take on that role, but who's counting?) Reborn into a plant body he's set loose on an unsuspecting world with a completely different magic system (sentient swords! Immortality!), with only the guide of a mysterious hallucinated ai. Freedom to make his own choices! Aroallo seph rep! He messes up the plot so bad, recruiting accidental love interests with kill counts and resurrecting long lost immortals. It can get a bit heavy but it's really fun and sephiroth has no intention of ever going back. Unfinished.

The SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun <- 73k+ of the opposite of the last fic: the scum villain (the 2nd) gets isekai'd into sephiroth! Shen qingqiu, aka the modern world native shen yuan, fails to resurrect into his prepared plant body and wakes up in a new fictional world, once again as the villain. With his limited memory of the games and his immense knowledge of cultivation (scum villains magic system) he tries to get a grasp on his new life while evading hojo, the president, his new subordinates and the war front while cultivating to immortality - something shinra is VERY interested in. When I tell you these two fics have a GRIP on me. I've written so many fic ideas around them. It's actually insane. The first thing he does is completely redecorate his rooms and buy a whole new wardrobe, which is totally not suspicious XD. Unfinished.

The fifth act <- 160k, it's a good ol' time travel fic - with a twist. The truest exploration of ripples in a pond, or how kindness, when true, can be returned in most unexpected ways. Or maybe how a single act of good can change the world.... Or maybe it's about how you must never turn your back on an enemy. Cloud has people to save and people to kill, and only time will tell which is which. Complete.

Of Things That May Be Only 'Verse <- another series! At 250k, it's about sephiroth resurrecting, only to, uh, slip and crack his head lol. This sends him spiralling through a vision of a cosy life he'd never dreamed, and when he wakes up? He wants it so bad. But that means behaving. Slow burn sefikura redemption, side Cid/Vincent (vincid?) which ngl did convince me of the ship, domestic fluffiness and found family galore! And the whole series is complete!!

Little seph <- a 160k series about the AC sephiroth revival going wrong. Stuck in the body of a kid, post AC sephiroth is a feral kitten carefully domesticated with the power of pancakes, wing preening, and deeply uncomfortable sleepovers. He's a brat, a pest, a murder machine, but he just wants to be part of a family even if he pretends he doesn't. Eventual sefikura, and overall just a very good read. Fully complete!

We are no heroes <- 70k series, about a secretly time travelled sephiroth desperately trying to save his friends and finally, maybe, rest. When I tell you this had me SOBBING. I was BAWLING. Extremely good, zack is best boy. This man is just so tired. Beautiful descriptions. And, again, complete! Yay!

[kozumesphone]

✮⋆˙ 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄

⤷ percy jackson x emma (@riordanness)

masterlist | event m.list

♡ fandom | percy jackson and the olympians

♡ includes | songfic (sort of), joining luke, luke calling you by a nickname and being understanding (overall we get nice luke), betrayal, little fluff to angst, hurt with no comfort, swords, daggers, very mini fight scene, overall sadness, altering the timeline of the book a bit

♡ in which | emma has to betray percy in the tlt timeline (includes spoilers for whoever hasn’t read chapter 22 of tlt)

♡ a/n | omggg, I was on a writing hiatus, but this got me out of that slump fr. emercy are goals <33 anywayyy my heart hurts after writing emercy angst so I WILL make up for it by writing emercy fluff at some point (hopefully during the event itself).. enjoy this one tho!!

♡ wc | 1.02k

✮⋆˙ emma’s pov

it had been a long day after percy returned to camp, glorious, after his quest. after all, that’s what all demigods thirsted for: δόξα. glory.

as soon as my eyes met his, I practically ran into him. we toppled over because of all of the unexpected force, and he just laid there below me, holding me gently.

pressing kisses to my forehead and my cheeks. running his fingers through my hair. smiling at me, and taking me in.

“all right, lovebirds! chiron and the others want to talk to him too,” grover’s voice rang out from above us.

snapping out of my hazy dream-come-true, I get up slowly and reach my hand down for percy.

“hey princess,” he whispered, still holding me close, after he stood up.

“hey handsome…”

I loved having him in my arms, memorising the feel of his hands around my waist, his lips against mine. who knows when I’d get to feel it again, if ever?

✮⋆˙ percy’s pov

her eyes, hollow. smiles, forced.

what happened to her in the days I was gone?

timeskip

✮⋆˙ emma’s pov

as the campfire was dying, empty mugs of cocoa and packets of marshmallows lay in the trash bag behind the logs.

will and his siblings sang beautiful songs, played music, as all the campers joined in.

percy and I were huddled together on a log, warmth radiating off each other.

everyone said their ‘goodnight’s and ‘sweet dreams’ knowing well and good none of us would sleep without nightmares.

“wanna turn in for the night?” percy asked, pulling me up from our log.

I smiled at him and nod. we walk to cabin 3. he offers me a hoodie and I remain in my denim shorts, ready to leave as soon as he falls asleep.

we plop onto his bed, and he tells me everything about his quest, as I take him in. at one point, we begin cuddling as he continues talking.

“hey, perce?”

“mhm.”

“I love you. you’ll remember that forever, won’t you?”

“‘course I will. I know you do. I love you forever too, and I hope to find you in elysium, my love… you’re never leaving me, are you?”

“of course not, dumbass.”

scattered ‘cross my family line…

i’m so good at telling lies…

that came from my mother’s side…

told a million to survive…

“good. I don’t think I could go a day without you there to stop me from stapling my finger by mistake again.”

I let out a sudden laugh. “oh, what about that other time you-”

“I completely made a fool out of myself in front of everyone by tripping over air? whatever,” he rolled his eyes.

sometimes, I wish my mortal father hadn’t taught me to hide my sadness so well. too well. I suppose he did do a good job, at the end of the day.

timeskip

with one last look at percy’s sleeping form—oh, so peaceful and beautiful, my baby—I stepped out of the cabin with our picture frame from percy’s bedside, weighing heavy in my bag. my hair whipped around my face because of the wind, right outside cabin 3. I turned to luke, waiting for me. I noted a hint of sadness in his eyes as well.

scattered ‘cross my family line…

god, I have my father’s eyes…

but my sister’s when I cry…

“luke, please. I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered, eyes burning with the fire of a thousand suns–bright enough to illuminate his face.

“we can’t stop now, em. not after we’ve worked so hard, for so long. we can’t let it all go to waste. I didn’t want you to do this with me either, because I know he could hate me with ease after a while, but you? never. he could never look at you with anything other than love, and i’m sorry I have to take you away from that,” luke said, with glistening eyes.

quietly, I nodded, not trusting my voice to not shake. luke looked in the direction of cabin 6, and turned to walk towards the portal. I followed him, as we walk into the woods.

I can run, but I can’t hide…

from my family line…

from my family line…

“i’m sorry, perce. I love you,” I whispered into the wind.

“then why are you leaving me?” a voice shook behind me, just as we reached the portal.

I turned around sharply.

“percy?”

“princ— emma. why?”

oh, all that I did to try to undo it…

all of my pain and all your excuses…

“it’s… a long story,” I hardened my gaze. “we’re done. i’m sorry.” if this was going to work, he had to hate me. hate me from the bottom of his heart. hate me enough to be able to send me to the depths of tartarus, if needed.

“are you stupid?– hey! luke! get away from her!” he yelled. luke and I moved closer to each other as my cold gaze rested on percy’s face. I registered the betrayal and hurt in his eyes, my heart breaking with every emotion flickering across his face. his face morphed into something emotionless, all of a sudden.

I was a kid but I wasn’t clueless…

someone who loves you wouldn’t do this…

“you know what, emma?” he spat. “I can no longer recognize you. and that’s not even the saddest part. it’s the fact that you no longer make any attempt to make me understand you.”

“for the daughter of the goddess of love, I clearly have none of it left to give,” I said, unsheathing my sword. luke’s backbiter glowed faintly behind me.

percy looked alarmed for a second, but took out annabeth’s dagger, startling luke.

they swung at each other, as I stood there. nicking at one another’s body. I rushed in to help luke, so we could escape soon. my face was in the middle of a swing percy sent luke’s way, and his dagger slid down my face.

oh, I deserved that.

all of my past, I tried to erase it…

but now I see, would I even change it…?

[the-surreptitious-albatross]

Dihua Exchange 2024

For the dihua exhange, I was paired with @scin-tillates.

I had a lot of fun writing a-spec dihua, I hope you like it :)

Learn the ways to look at me (5625 words) by Caspartine Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 莲花楼 | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Di Feisheng/Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi Characters: Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi, Di Feisheng, Fang Duobing, Qiao Wanmian Additional Tags: Asexual Character, Post-Canon, Miscommunication, Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi Lives, (but doesn't get his powers back), Getting Together, POV Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ace Li Lianhua, Demisexual Di Feisheng, Internalized Acephobia

Summary:

“Why are you even still here?” asked Li Lianhua. “I thought you would have left by now, returned to the Jinyuan Alliance.” “You know why,” said Di Feisheng. “Do I?” asked Li Lianhua, with a wave of his hand, “Because I will admit you've had me stumped for a while now. We're never getting that duel, you know that well enough by now, so why would you still want to play nursemaid when you could be out there, conquering the jianghu.” Di Feisheng met his eyes steadily. “What use do I have for the jianghu?” “What use do you have for me?” he cried. Li Lianhua is cured, but won't ever recover fully- now he has to contend with what it means that Di Feisheng is still here despite that. (He also has a lot of ace feelings about it.)

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Lost Boys

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Superfam

Summary: After Jonathan Lane Kent wipes himself from existence by canceling his own timeline, he finds himself stuck in the afterlife where he meets Jason Todd. He still wonders about the life un-lived on Earth, and how his parents would've felt about him.

Jason Todd, who is making the most of being dead, struggles with the reality of what he's left behind. He has one wish and one wish only: to send his family one final message.

Chapters: 6/?

Characters: Jonathan Lane Kent (Laney), Jason Todd, Catherine Todd, Boston Brand, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, John Constantine, Raven, Talia al Ghul, Ra's al Ghul, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake

Relationships: Platonic JayLaney

Additional Tags: Angst, Platonic Relationships, Magical Jason Todd, Resurrected Jason Todd, Queerplatonic Relationships, Canon Divergent AU, POV Multiple

Chapter Six: Happy Trails (Jason's POV)

After my resurrection, I started seeing things and hearing voices, but they weren't talking to me. They were talking about me. After my dip in the pit, I knew I was stuck with them. Sometimes in the daytime, I would lie awake and listen to them talk. The spooky one would come and go, but the one in the weird Superman costume never left my side. Sometimes I felt like I knew him from somewhere. Sometimes he would sing songs to me when we were alone or talk as if he didn't know I could hear him. I wanted to give in and speak to him most times, but I was afraid that I'd lose my mind completely if I did.

I didn't realize how much I would need him until I found out about Tim Drake. "You all right?" Talia asked. Her voice was clear, calm, and tinted with a hint of concern.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be all right?" I lied. Once she was gone, I could hear the faintest whisper from my imaginary friend. I started to cry as I continued to try to ignore him.

"Jason, I'm so sorry," he said loud enough for me to hear. I looked away from the wall and directly at him. "Jason? You can see me?"

"What do you want from me?" I asked in tears. I finally succumbed to it. It didn't matter to me anymore if I was losing it or not. I just wanted to talk to somebody.

"Jason, it's me. Have you been ignoring me this whole time?" he asked. I nodded.

"I don't know who you are or if you're real. I just—. Can you sit down?" I asked. He nodded and sat at the table. I pulled myself together and sat back down. "Who are you?"

"Jason, it's me," he pleaded with me, "It's Laney. We're best friends. Why don't you—? Jason, don't you remember me?"

I shook my head and laughed. "No... I don't know who you are because you aren't real. You're not. This is just my brain damage and emotional trauma manifesting itself," I rationalized. Laney frowned. I pushed a hand through my hair and took a few nauseated breaths.

"This isn't who you are, Jason. We used to talk about it all the time... You said you wanted to tell Bruce you loved him, that he was a father to you. I know you're hurt, but has that changed?" Laney asked. I didn't answer him. "You don't believe me, do you? How can I prove it to you?"

"Prove what to me? I don't even understand what you're—."

"I'm a ghost. We were friends in heaven or the afterlife or whatever it was... And you disappeared, but Boston and I—. We uh—. I don't exist anymore, but you can do everything that I can't. You have a second chance, and Catherine wanted that for you," Laney whispered, "Jason..."

I started feeling panicked when he mentioned Ma, but I pushed the feelings back and went to bed. He stayed with me even after our conversation. When I woke up, Laney was still there, and his friend was back. "I'm not leaving him... Boston, I promised myself I would never leave him. So you can give me the address of the nearest person who can see ghosts, or you can come with us and help me prove that we're not just hallucinations," Laney snapped. I lay still and listened.

"The closest person I know isn't the kind of guy you ask for help. He's more trouble than he's worth—."

"Who is he, and where is he? Boston," Laney pleaded angrily through his clenched teeth.

"If he can prove that you two are real, I'm game... Actually, matter-of-fact, if you two are real, I'll do whatever the hell you want me to," I replied. Laney floated above the ground in a seated position, biting his nails. "Scout's honor."

"Jason, you were never a scout," Laney replied, "If we can prove that we're real, I want you to do just as we planned. Talk to our families."

I nodded, and Boston shook his head. "Jason, kid, you don't wanna go on and learn the hard way. Why can't you just take our word for it?" Boston asked. "Jay..."

I looked at Laney, and he softened up. "Jason, if you can't remember me, then you can't believe what I mean when I say that I know you in ways that you don't even know yourself anymore... And you won't be able to see that I just want to help you."

I wondered if he loved me. The way he spoke to me was like nothing I'd ever heard. I sometimes thought my mind made him up for comfort. Maybe he was real, and he was trying to protect me. I knew one thing for sure, everything he said was what I wanted to hear. I think that's what scared me the most. If he wasn't real, all I was doing was second-guessing myself.

They continued to argue back and forth, and I took my shower and got dressed before cutting out. Laney followed closely behind me. "Two choices. San Francisco, but you run the risk of seeing your brother or Louisiana meet this Constantine guy, and I hear he's more trouble than he's worth," Laney offered. Both choices sounded terrible, but I think he knew I'd pick anything over the idea of running into Dick. "Jason, I know you don't wanna risk seeing Dick if he's in San Francisco, but—."

"But nothing. I'm not risking everything I have planned. What happens if you're just my mind's way of sabotaging me?" I asked. He looked over my shoulder and waited for me to make eye contact.

"I don't want to sabotage you... I'd never do that. Jason, I know you're scared of what he'll say or think or do... But, just try to think. If this Constantine guy is as unpredictable as Boston says, don't you think you'd be safer if—."

I stopped just as I realized how crazy I must've seemed, talking to thin air. "Listen, on the off chance that you're real. Cool, great, good. But, on the chances that you're just a pretty little kindhearted and nurturing hallucination, my mind made up to change me back into the sweet boy you're saying I used to be... I don't wanna take any chances on screwing this up," I mumbled.

"You weren't always sweet. You were just as stubborn dead as you are alive. Either way, I promised your mom I'd find you, and I did. You're alive. I can't take that away from you, but I can look out for you," Laney whispered, "You don't have to talk to me out here. I know what it looks like. Just know when you find out that I'm not a hallucination and that there is actually someone on this planet that would move heaven and hell for you... I won't rub it in."

Secretly, I kind of hoped he was telling the truth. I needed him. Like it or not, I didn't know how I'd be able to bear the loneliness without him. So that was it. I was on my way to Louisiana to see a man about a ghost.

[surprise-based-teddy-bear]

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate (Video Games) Rating: Explicit Relationships: Astarion/Tav Additional Tags: POV Astarion, canon adjacent, Manipulation, Trust Issues, PTSD, Trauma, Dissociation, Implied/Referenced Past Abuse, of all kinds, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Vampire Bites, Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, figuring out feelings, Slow(ish) Burn, Eventual Romance, Occasional Sexual Content, most of it warped by past trauma, Astarion Being Astarion, Soft Astarion (eventually), everyone is bad at feelings, Everyone Needs A Hug

A snippet for your previewing pleasure:

The route to Bogrot had become a familiar trek. Wyll guided them around the perimeter of the goblin-infested town until they reached a broken bridge that had once crossed a deep ravine. "This is as far as I came yesterday," he informed them. "The devil's trail led across the bridge." The middle of the stone bridge had collapsed and vanished into the ravine below. The gap was only a few feet wide; one by one, they leapt across the dizzying drop. On the other side, the road split in three directions. Wyll picked up the devil's trail again and beckoned them to follow him east. They only made it a few paces down the road before Astarion noticed a coppery whiff in the air. "Something's wrong," Neline warned. The smell of blood must have been strong enough to alert her senses too. The tension grew as they came across an abandoned cart, its goods scattered across the road. The debris was spattered with blood, likely from the poor sod that lay in the middle of it all. The body was so mangled that Astarion couldn't tell for sure whether it was elf or human. Perhaps something else entirely. "Karlach," Wyll gritted out. Neline crouched down by the body for a closer look. She frowned. "This isn't the work of a devil with an axe. This person was ripped apart by claws and teeth." A high-pitched yelp up ahead made them all tense up. Slowly, Neline retrieved one of her glowing concoctions from her satchel. She glanced up at Wyll, who nodded and took the lead. As she and Gale followed, Astarion looked around for cover, but it was futile. The midday sun glared straight down from above and shrank all shadows into useless slivers. Behind the cart, they discovered the source of the noise. A hyena lay on the ground, panting and whimpering. Neline held up her hand, signaling a stop. The animal's limbs jerked as she approached with caution, but it made no move to get up. Perhaps it couldn't; its belly was distended to grotesque proportions, the skin pulled so taut it seemed on the verge of splitting. As Neline studied the creature, the color drained from her face. "Kill it!" she yelled, scrambling back. "Quickly!"

[inrainprose]

Top BL of 2023

2023 is over and I felt like doing my top picks for this year again! Looking back there were a lot of good ones that I enjoyed a lot this year, and so I did not restrict myself to 5. As my sister judging me from across the couch said, "there's no rule do what you want". Fair enough.

This is from the BLs that ended in 2023, though some started in 2022.

8. Kiseki dear to me

I didn't care all that much for the main couple in the end, but Ai Di and Chen Yi? Worthy of obsession. @leofiat-bunny made a cut, for your consideration.

7. Why r u? Korea

I'm an absolute fan of the original against my better judgment and I was looking forward to this one. It doesn't have much to do with the Thai version in the end but I still enjoyed it a lot, both stories.

6. My school president

This was just lovely from start to finish. I really appreciated how they portrayed teenage turmoil and how soft and gentle this was.

5. My Personal Weatherman/Taikan Yoho

Needed a Japanese title on that list and this one was the best of the year by far. Unhinged and horny from start to finish.

4. Wedding plan

This one probably wins the top spot for best surprise of the year. I watched it late after it was completed because I didn't hear much about it but it was lovely. Wrote a fic for them.

3. Be my favourite

Time travel is my weakness and those two were great together.

2. Bed friend

And this one gets the price for most rewatched. So hot, very angst, obsessed with them both. Wrote not one but two pieces for this fandom, one from Uea's POV and one from King's.

1. Moonlight chicken

Left me on the floor. That first ep when they walk around town lives rent free in my head. All the relationships got to me but none more than Jim and Li Ming's. And thus, another fic.

Honorable mention cause I couldn't list them all

The Wrap Effect, The Eighth Sense, Love in Translation, Laws of Attraction, Bokura no Shokutaku/Our Dining Table, Hidden Agenda

Ask away for top BL things. I like lists.

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

Desperate Pleasures (7950 words) by TBHImNotEasyOnMyself Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin/Nie Huaisang, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin & Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Nie Huaisang & Nie Mingjue, Meng Yao | Jin Guangyao & Nie Huaisang, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin & Meng Yao | Jin Guangyao, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin & Jin Ling | Jin Rulan Characters: Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Nie Huaisang Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Behavior, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Attempts at comfort, Light Angst, Comfort/Angst, Conversations, Late Night Conversations, Relationship Discussions, Arguing, Death Threats, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Outbursts, Emotional Roller Coaster, Crying, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Forgiveness, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Complicated Relationships, Smut, Shameless Smut, Sex, Gay Sex, Switching, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch Nie Huaisang, Anal, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Dick riding, Oral Sex, Comfort Sex, Drunk Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Hate Sex, Emotional Sex, Crying During Sex, Aftercare, Literal Sleeping Together, Kissing, Gentle Kissing, Rough Kissing, Neck Kissing, Drunken Kissing, Surprise Kissing, Shut Up Kiss, Scheming, Scheming Nie Huaisang, Lies, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Fratricide, Mentions of Patricide, Mentions of filicide, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Not Beta Read, POV Third Person Summary: They don't really mean for it to start happening when it does. Yet what are one’s drunken actions if not the desires one did not have the courage to give into sober? It is better not to think about it, though. They are what they are and they do what they do. And that's good enough. No need for labels or reasonings or long conversations about indefinable concepts, no… None of that. Just them. As they are. Just them is good enough. OR How Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang find solace in each other through the years in ways that are probably too complex and nuanced to put into words outside people would understand but that make sense to them, nonetheless.

[inevitably-ineffable-husbands]

Hello! I'm relatively new to the GO fandom, and I've never read a fic yet and need some comfort pleeeeease 😭 hoping for something soft and cosy

Hey Nonny!

Ahhhhh, you're missing out for sure!! :D

Ah, I don't usually do specific lists for the GO Fandom, but this one was easy enough to do a quick tag search of my bookmarks!

All of these are Pre-S2, as I have yet to read S2 fics! :)

Enjoy! And as usual with my recs, feel free to suggest your own!

HURT/COMFORT (Good Omens)

anywhere i go you go, my dear by chamaenerion (G, 1,533 w., 1 Ch. || Post Armageddon’t, Panic Attacks, POV Aziraphale, Touching, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Protective Crowley, Anxious Crowley, Love Confessions, Snake Crowley, Clingy Crowley) – After the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, Crowley is reluctant to leave Aziraphale's side.

for your eyes only by punkenigma (T, 2,501 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Armageddon’t, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Getting Together, Love / Drunk Confessions, 6000 Year Slow Burn, Insecure / Worried / Scared Crowley, Fear of Heartbreak) – Crowley was forced to face two inalienable truths: One, a world without Aziraphale was simply not a world worth imagining and even less so worth experiencing. Two, Crowley’s feelings for Aziraphale had changed dramatically since Armageddon." Alt Title: the one where Crowley can't keep it bottled in any longer.

Where Heaven Begins by sussexbound (M, 2,515 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Crowley, Soft Idiots, Emotional Love Making, Hurt/Comfort, Crowley Has Healing Powers, Kissing, Bed Sharing, Crowley POV) – Aziraphale bleeds. Is bleeding. He’s wearing human skin, after all.

In the (Second) Beginning by cherryfeather (M, 2,661 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Confessions, Soft Crowley, POV Aziraphale, Post-Canon, First Kiss, Wings) – Aziraphale realizes that Crowley's been saying something rather loudly for a week.

It's Not the Fall that Kills You by Mitsuhachi (G, 3,442 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Angst With Happy Ending, Fall From Grace) – "Oh Aziraphale," the figure inclined its blank face like a mother reprimanding an errant but beloved child. "You have been too long alone. The Serpent's lies suffice to cloud even the judgement of one of Our Virtues. We should have expected this." A glowing hand was extended towards Aziraphale, flickering like flame in the faint breeze. "Will you not repent?"

In Which Crowley Is a Guardian Demon and Aziraphale Is, in His Own Way, a Guardian Angel by easybeak (NR [T], 3,926 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Apocalypse, Accidental Love Confessions, Crying, Protective Aziraphale, Idiots in Love, Drunk Crowley, Soft Crowley, Pining Crowley, Inner Turmoil, Letters, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Breakdown, Self-Loathing, Light Angst) – Crowley has known Aziraphale as far back as he can remember. Of course, he's loved his angel almost that long, too. It's hard not to, when he looks up at him with those big, blue puppy dog eyes and practically begs for it... he's been doing little favors for him forever, keeping him safe. And some point along the way, he fell in love. Who could blame him? No secret can last forever, though. All Crowley can hope for is that Aziraphale won't resent him for it.

Réveillon by Big_Edies_Sun_Hat (T, 6,431 w., 3 Ch. || Christmas Eve, Angst, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Established Relationship, International Travel, Moments in Time, Historical / Biblical Interpretation) – After a gloomy history with Christmas, Aziraphale shows Crowley how he has learned to seek out the good in it by traveling around the world on Christmas Eve. Highlights include: the Annunciation; potholes; international teleportation; peace and hope; arson; Lupe gets a doll of her very own.

Exposed by LollipopCop (E, 8,867 w., 2 Ch. || Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, First Kiss, First Time, Making Out, Wings, Love Confessions, Virgin Crowley, Angst with Happy Ending) – In which Gabriel can feel how much Aziraphale loves Crowley, and outs him.

In Muted Tone by sobakasu & sssnakelady (T, 9,386 w., 2 Ch. || Post-Apocalypse, Crowley POV, Heavy Pining, Emotional Turmoil, Awkward Crowley, Shy Crowley, Fluff and Anget, Happy Ending, Moving in Together, Love Confessions, Poetry, Panic Attacks, Drinking to Cope, Domestic Fluff, Kissing, Hurt/Comfort) – It is roughly ten thirty PM on a Saturday night. The night that Armageddon didn’t. They are three bottles of wine in and Aziraphale is rambling.

wherever you are, i'll come to you by mutalune (T, 11,375 w., 6 Ch. || Post-Apocalypse, Hurt/Comfort, Fallen Angel Aziraphale, Aziraphale Loves Crowley, Crowley Tries to Help, Slight Angst, Petty Demonic Aziraphale) – “Now that I’m no longer beholden to a rather arbitrary moral code, I have to ask: Do you pay taxes? Actually, more importantly, do you think I can stop paying taxes now? That seems like a sufficiently demonic thing to do. Refusing to do my civic duty and whatnot. Quite devious, I’d argue.” This was, in hindsight, not the most sensitive way of breaking the news.

You Never Had A Heart by HotCrossPigeon (T, 12,983 w., 3 Ch. || Hurt Aziraphale, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Blood/Injury, Scared/Panicking Crowley, Idiots in Love, Caring Crowley, Aziraphale Whump, Demonic Traps, BAMF Aziraphale, Hugs, Soft Crowley, Discorporation, Caring/Protective Crowley, Humour, Angst with Happy Ending, Crowley Rescues Aziraphale, Bad Acting, Knife Wounds, Traumatized Crowley, First Kiss, Protective Aziraphale, Hurt Crowley) – Aziraphale finds himself unwittingly ensnared in a demonic trap. Unfortunately for a panicking Crowley, there’s only one way to get the angel out of it. Part 6 of Hurt!Aziraphale Stories

The Nice and Accurate Love Story of A. J. Crowley and A. Z. Fell by SealandRocks (E, 16,353 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Crowley, Implied Mutual Pining, Emotional Love Making, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Crowley, Jealous Crowley, Crowley’s Plants, Kissing as Healing, Moments in Time, The Arrangement, Love Confessions, Bottom Crowley, Gentle Aziraphale, Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Crowley is Bad at Feelings, First Kiss/Time, Anal Sex / Fingering, Wings / Wing Kink, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Kissing in the Rain, Symbolism, Historical References) – Crowley and Aziraphale have been dancing around each other since the beginning. From Eden to London, it eventually becomes very hard to avoid the only other immortal around. And after so many centuries, having a physically body becomes a bit uncomfortable. Crowley is left to wonder what it is about Aziraphale that helps ease the ache in his soul. It would only take him 6000 years to figure out that it was rooted in something deeper all along. Part 1 of Love Stories for the Oblivious

Souls In Creation by Dragonfruit112 (NR [M], 23,110 w., 6 Ch. || Aziraphale was Raphael, Hurt/Comfort, Angst With Happy Ending, True Angel Forms, Memory Loss/Amnesia, Seraph!Aziraphale, Cherub!Crowley, Moments of Time, Pining Aziraphale, Deaths, Disasters Through History, Whump, Taking Care of Each Other, Friendship, Mates to Friends to Mates, Bed Sharing, Sick Crowley, Healing Powers, BAMF Aziraphale) – They knew each other before the Fall. They loved each other before the Fall. They were creation's first soul mates. But the Fall changed everything, and now Aziraphale is forced to live in a world where only he remembers their shared past. Burdened by pain and grief, he hides himself under the guise of a clumsy Principality until he can make his love remember once more. Only, he doesn't know how long that'll take.

[rose-tinted-vision]

1, 11, 14, 16, 17, 19 for the behind the scenes of fic asks! ((this is hualianisms, i can't send asks from my sideblog🥲))

Hello @hualianisms!! Thank you for the asks (๑>◡<๑)

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

(／。＼)...am I going to embarrass myself on main today because the first fic that I published on ao3 was for the ReoNagi pairing from Blue Lock, but I technically wrote fic for Inazuma Eleven when I was a wee little child. What was yours?

If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Definitely angst, it comes easier to me than fluff or smut 〜(＞＜)〜

If you were stuck on an island with only two characters, who would you pick?

Only two? That's a hard choice >_< Shi Qingxuan (TGCF) and Yu Shisan (A Journey to Love), probably. SQX can just whisk us away~

What is your most underrated fic?

I'll take underrated to mean not doing as well as I thought it would since I really liked this? It's a toss up between one of my Link Click fics (Qiao Ling centric, S2 canon compliant) and one of my earlier Mysterious Lotus Casebook fics (Gen, LXY/LLH centric). I really enjoyed the process of exploring what went on in Season 2 of Link Click through Qiao Ling's eyes, and thought that there weren't enough fics featuring her, which is why it's a fic that's really dear to me. As for the Li Xiangyi centric fic (i must admit that imagining pre-canon stuff is a favourite of mine), I wanted to explore the process of Li Xiangyi becoming Li Lianhua, and how he had changed so much over ten years. It was fun to imagine him traversing the jianghu and picking up various skills along the way! But I do understand that Genfics aren't for everyone, so it's okay. I do have more recent ones that aren't doing that well but I have...complicated feelings regarding those

What fic are you most proud of?

(I also cannot simply choose one, my bad).

I have this ShiGuang fic that was loosely inspired by a manhwa called "The tale of the Yellow dragon", that was nearly complete by the time the S2 finale came out and I figured, why not throw Lu Guang's lines in there? and it fit, so I was really happy with how it turned out :D Another fic that I'm proud of is Tales of Tianji Manor, mainly because I wasn't sure that people would enjoy a fic told from Madam He's pov, but the fandom was so nice about it ^^ and it was fun to explore the OT3 dynamics from her pov!! and (last one, I promise!!) I was really happy with how the ZhanHua fic turned out :D Zhan Yunfei was one of my favourite side characters, and explore his ten years of yearning and devotion was interesting.

Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

I'd say the hardest is Di Feisheng's (MLC) pov for me, I'm not sure if it's writers block or burnout, but trying to wrangle his character has been a challenge lately. Another would be Ning Yuanzhou (A Journey to Love), because the man thinks so damn much, and he has to be a leader, a lover, a father and a brother all at the same time. Oh and Yi Zhi Hua's (White Cat Legend) tone is quite tricky for me to grasp...

easiest would probably be what I call the "simp characters" (not that I'm calling them one-dimensional, it's just that they have Prioritised that One Special Person): Fang Duobing for one, he has a rather straightforward personality, he places his family and Li Lianhua first, and he's honest about his feelings. Qiu Qingzhi is another. (it's harder to see beneath his layers but) imo his motivations were mainly to protect Li Bing. and I just really like to write Yu Shisan, the man loves so deeply and freely.

[zzombiecleo]

crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out

day 3! give it up for day 3!! im not actually sure if this counts as yuri but like whoops this is what youre getting. also, letting you know in advance that i am aromantic, just so you know. check out this story on ao3 and @mcyt-yuri-week.

fandom: life series smp characters: ldshadowlady, zombiecleo ship: ldshadowlady/zombiecleo, ldshadowlady~zombiecleo additional tags: aromantic ldshadowlady, pov second person, identity crisis, sexuality crisis, implied one-sided attraction, implied unrequited love, internalised arophobia, implied queerplatonic attraction, angst, hurt no comfort, drabble, mcyt yuri week summary: you are a woman with pink hair and hearts in your eyes called lizzie. you have a crush. stop complaining about made-up problems. --- mcyt valentines yuri week day 3: qpr/aromance

When you first noticed these feelings, you weren’t quite sure what was happening. See, you and Cleo had been friends for months by then and, well, you hadn’t felt anything like it before. You had dated people before but you never felt anything different for them than for your other friends. You just kinda assumed that’s what everyone felt and moved on. That everyone just had, kind of, collectively lied about what the correct feelings to feel for someone you love are. But then, you started questioning that because, well, Cleo was, and still very much is, adorable, and fabulous, and bloody annoying when she wants to be but you can’t help but want to be around her. It’s not the butterflies in your tummy feelings that you’d been chasing for so long but it wasn’t the same thing you feel with your friends or with any of your exes.

So you took a step back for a bit. You could tell that Cleo noticed, that look on her face whenever they noticed you during group hangouts was proof enough. You just didn’t understand what was happening. Every time you thought about explaining it to someone you started feeling like an idiot. What were you meant to say, “I think Cleo is adorable, and funny, and wonderful. I want to be around her constantly. But also I have this sickly feeling in my bloody gut that I don’t actually want to date her despite all that.”? It sounded so bloody silly whenever you thought about talking about it. Yet, no matter what, you couldn’t quite shake it. This all encompassing feeling that occurred whenever you dated someone or even thought about dating someone. It felt like sludge being poured down your back, thick and heavy and cold, sending shivers down your back, or like someone dragging their nails down a bloody chalkboard right next to your ear.

And then. Then, you finally find it. You can’t even remember where at this point. Just one little word. It changed everything for you. Aromantic. You had never heard of it before but you read it and well. It didn’t click instantly. Life is more difficult than that but the more you read the more you were convinced. It sounded right! It seemed to explain everything and yet, something was still wrong. Because it explained approximately nothing about Cleo. Nothing about the way you felt whenever they so much as smiled at you. The way you thought Cleo was bloody wonderful and no matter how many times she admitted to arson or attempted murder or whatever other crime they may or may not have committed, you couldn’t stop thinking that she was the most beautiful person you’ve ever met.

So, you suffered in silence for another month, two. Fruitless Google searches and eye contact between the two of you that lasted a little too long. Your friends started catching on, started egging you on, but everytime they joked about your “obvious crush” you felt like crying. Or screaming. Or committing a violent murder! But you didn’t know what to say, how to paraphrase the churning in your gut into something more palatable. Whenever blummin’ Joel teased you for it or bloody Scott encouraged you to “go for it! You would be so cute together!”, you felt like banging your head against a wall. How do you say that the thing you’re feeling looks like love, sounds like love, and talks like love, but that calling it love makes you feel very not cute?! How do you explain to someone who looks at you and sees someone who should like romance, what with the pink and the hearts and the everything, and tell them that even when you did date people it always felt like ants under your skin and tension in your shoulders?

You don’t. That’s the answer. You don’t explain. Why should you? Clearly you’re not aromantic if you still feel like this, right? Who cares if now that you know that aromanticism is a thing you suddenly have a bone to pick with the idea of romance, of kissing, of bloody anything? Maybe you just need to try harder, smile wider, giggle louder, learn to blush on command.

Maybe, just maybe, if you actually ask her out, all of this will just go away and you’ll suddenly realise “oh my gosh, this is what I yearned for all along!” and you two can ride off into the sunset together. It’ll be fine, all you need to do is take that first step and set up a date and you’ll stop feeling so alienated by everything. It will all finally be fine. Maybe if you say it enough, you and Cleo will work out. Maybe.

[llondonfog]

Hi really random but. I don't go to the sw fandom but I'm suddenly intrigued by the skywalkers' father-son dynamic that could've been, yet I've attempted and failed to go through the absolutely insane number of fics on ao3 and find ones that suit what I'm looking for. I'm probably not tagging right, but as one of my respected authors would you happen to have any recs?

my apologies for answering this a few days late!!

oh my gosh, do i have a list!!! i'll throw my recs under a read more- i've been obsessed with vader raising luke/skywalker family angst fics ever since middle school :')

it's that persistent concept that true familial love can survive even the greatest of odds and horrors— i was captivated from the moment in esb, after luke learns the truth of his parentage and lies in traumatized shock on the millennium falcon, reeling from the loss of his hand and the destruction of his childhood fantasies, when darth vader reaches out through their bond to call upon him and luke INSTANTLY replies "father". all we know about this man at this point is that he is a monster, the most feared murderer in all the universe, and luke has accepted him without even knowing it!! and vader does not kill him, does not perceive him as a threat, but wishes to have his son at his side!! he asks luke to join him!! the man that's more machine than blood, consumed by bitter, frothing despair at the universe for what had been taken from him, only has one wish— his child.

anyways, enough rambling because i could go on about them all day haha i really appreciate that you reached out, and i hope you find some gems below! definitely let me know if you enjoy them <3

My Bitten Heart - from the depths of ffnet & told through an outsider pov; vader, luke, and a failed rescue. i come back to this time and time again just to sigh at the emotional imagery.

Where Our Intrepid Hero Doesn't Get Away - a collection of fun drabbles where vader rescues luke out of sticky situations! these are such a delight, im rolling around and kicking my feet every time i come back to this fic collection

The Family Tree - THIS ONE IS SOOO GOOD, THE CHARACTERIZATION, THE DIALOGUE!!!! takes place after esb; luke and vader have a forced heart to heart as they're stranded above raging flood waters

the next three are all by the same author, husborth. i adore their characterization of vader, and their writing is simply lyrical. definitely one of my all time favorite authors!!

ennosigaeus - vader raises the twins au and takes them on a little combat practice trip

justice & death - 2 part fic set in the vader raises the twins au; ch 2 is my personal fav with dad vader going apeshit over whoever has dared to kidnap his son :')

cartography - this one is just, chef's kiss. there's a lot of body horror that goes unspoken in the movies when one considers the nature of vader's suit, and the comics/novels go into heavy detail about how fucked up it truly is. this fic centers on luke navigating the reality of his father's existence.

I HAVE SO MANY MORE BUT I DON'T WANT TO OVERWHELM YOU IF YOU FIND IT ISN'T YOUR CUP OF TEA <3 if you want any more recs or if you enjoyed these, just let me know!! <3

[sanversandfriends]

From post-apocalyptic bridges to viral outbreaks and Hollywood gossip columns, this writer has been consistently gifting/traumatizing the Sanvers fandom with magnificent storytelling and gorgeous prose. And angst. Did we say angst? Here to provide some insight into how she stresses us all out, is the inimitable @roadien60 !

Tell us a little about yourself. How did you get started writing fic? Have you written for other fandoms? What are your favorite tropes?   I started writing fic for The Matrix circa 2000 or 2001. I had recently seen the movie, was immediately obsessed with it, and somehow discovered fanfic online in my journey of trying to read, think, and learn more about The Matrix. I was deeply involved in Matrix fandom for several years (yes, I had a different handle then, and no, I will not tell you what it was). Once that faded circa 2003/4, I ventured away from fandom for a long, long time—long enough that I didn't expect to ever stumble into it again. And then, on recommendation from a trusted queer friend, I stumbled into Warehouse 13. I think I may have read fic for Bering and Wells before I ever watched an episode. But then I did watch, and I started writing around the same time. That was in 2013, I think. Then that show ended, and I can't remember how I found my way into Sanvers, but here we are.

Tropes: I'm a sucker for a forbidden love story, especially one built on mistaken or hidden identity. A lot of people say that tension built on lies and secrets is lazy storytelling... but I'm of the opinion that it all depends on how well the lie/secrecy is justified by the story and the world the characters are living in. What were your inspirations for this particular story? What was it about this/these ships that grabbed you? Oh, gosh, I don't remember where the train fic idea came from at this point. I wish I did.

In terms of the ships: honestly, I don't really remember that, either! But a thing I've realized is that I am rarely interested in chosen one stories or in central characters with superpowers or other forms of magic (unless they're in a world where a lot of other people have the same powers they do). I am, however, interested in the stories of people who live in worlds with superheroes—the "normal" people who try to make a difference in worlds where there are superhumans who can transform everything at a blink. I loved The Matrix because of Trinity, and I loved Bering and Wells for Myka—the "normal" people in pairings with special/magical partners. In Sanvers, I love that neither of them is special but they have to navigate their proximity to a person with extreme powers. From a character standpoint, that's really compelling to me. Has the time spent away from your story changed your outlook or approach to any of the storylines or themes? Have you had any new inspirations or breakthroughs/revelations in the meantime? Yeah--the main thing I realized recently was that rejuvenating this story for me required me to dig into Maggie's POV in a way I hadn't before in this story. I've been enjoying that. Also I realized I had to actually hash out a timeline, which I hated doing but was necessary for this story to make sense. 

[scary-grace]

Barduil Month 2023 Day 16: Ghosts

I'm repurposing day 16 of Barduil Month 2023 @bi-widower-dads for my own silly reasons and using it to post the Titanic AU, the inspiration/aesthetics for which can be found under #la chanson de la mer. In the meantime, welcome to the weirdest AU ever.

where the ocean meets the sky (7131 words) by BiSquared Chapters: 1/? Fandom: The Hobbit - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Bard the Bowman/Thranduil, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield Characters: Thranduil (Tolkien), Bard the Bowman, Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Legolas Greenleaf, Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Gimli (Son of Glóin), Glóin (Tolkien), Balin (Tolkien), Dwalin (Tolkien), Kíli (Tolkien), Dori (Tolkien), Smaug (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Titanic AU, POV Multiple, POV Thranduil, POV Bard the Bowman, POV Thorin, POV Bilbo Baggins, Female Thranduil, Female Bard the Bowman, Fluff, Angst, Bard is a useless lesbian, Thranduil is also a useless lesbian, Historical References, possibly my most out-there AU, which really says something, Flashbacks, Story within a Story, Thorin Is an Idiot, Romance Summary: Thorin Oakenshield might be a treasure-hunter, but it's his own family's treasure he's looking for within the wreck of Titanic, and he's hit a dead end. His only clue lies in a mysterious sketch, featuring an even more mysterious woman: Thranduil Bowman, whose memory of Titanic's ill-fated maiden voyage holds more than just the key to the lost jewels. As she tells her tale, she reveals dark secrets, harsh truths, and a love that burns bright enough to illuminate even the darkest depths of the sea.

[keicordelle]

Not a Champion, Just a Knight, Ch. 4 (Causes and Costs)

Fandom: FFXIV Rating: M Pairing: Past F WoL/Haurchefant Greystone Word Count: 4.4k Archive Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Haurchefant Greystone Lives, Angst, Tragedy, Dark, Grief/Mourning, Body Horror, POV First Person

Summary: You have ever been my hero. Now, you must be the world’s. I pass my mantle to you.

Atop the Vault after racing to save Aymeric, Ser Zephirin hurls his Spear of Fury and Haurchefant is not fast enough to save the Warrior of Light. As she lies dying in his arms, she makes one final request of him: that he take up her title and become Eorzea’s new hero. Overcome with grief, he vows to avenge her death, and sets his sights and his rage on Thordan and his knights twelve. Even so, he is not the vaunted Warrior of Light, and he cannot face these challenges alone.

-

We all knew the peace wasn't going to last. Nidhogg was coming, and even the heartfelt hails I received from people on the streets weren't enough to raise my spirits. But I smiled to each and every person who called to me, offering them a reassuring wave and stopping to talk to them when I had the time. Just like the old days, when I’d just been a knight. Back before... before. Somehow, it didn't feel the same.

Was this how she had felt, as she'd navigated the thorny path of an unsuspecting hero? She had not asked for the title any more than I had, had she? I'd always thought it suited her, that a hero was exactly what she'd always been meant to be, but... Perhaps people looked at me and saw the same thing. Surely, though, surely this duty had not weighed so heavily on her. She would not have bequeathed it to me if she had known... right?

No, no, what was I thinking? Of course she wouldn't have. She had been blessed by Hydaelyn herself, brilliant and talented and destined to be the champion of the people. I was just a knight, just... me.

I drew in a deep breath, the chill air searing through my lungs as I shook off the rising hopelessness and despair, affixing my signature smile upon my face. The dark flame buried in my soul receded as well, I realized with a start. I hadn't even noticed it swell until it backed down, content to simmer in the depths of my being. My smile soured, brow furrowing as I rubbed at the center of my chest, where the darkness seemed to lay. Even the slightest provocation or shift in my mood seemed to spur it to life these days, and I was certainly not short on woes of late. Each whisper of that flame was both blessing and curse: one more chance to hear her voice, and one step closer to losing myself. I had to find some way to control it, and fast. If our chances of defeating Nidhogg were slim even with that mysterious power at my back, they were infinitesimal without it.

-

Read the rest on Ao3!

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[bluejaysandblackbats]

Catch and Release

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: AU where Jason doesn't die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.

Chapters: 6/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake

Relationships: TBA

Additional Tag: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating

Chapter Six: Visiting Hours

I woke up from an antidepressant-induced sleep to Bruce setting my schoolwork on the desk. "Sorry, I didn't mean—."

I pushed my palms into my eyelids to keep from crying. "It's okay... I'm okay," I lied.

"I can stay home tonight if you want," Bruce offered. I shook my head.

"You're good," I mumbled. I wanted Bruce to stay, but I knew he couldn't. Bruce offered only to see if I'd permit him to leave. I could've been honest about my pain and made him stay, but I let him go. There was no way for him to know that I was lying. He didn't think to ask twice. I lay awake until I could drift back to sleep.

As soon as I fell asleep, I woke up with a jolt to a tap, tap, tapping on my window. I wasn't easily startled, but the thing was, there were no trees near my window. I pulled myself out of bed and grabbed a pen from my nightstand before approaching my window. I parted my curtains just enough to see if someone was out there, and sure enough, there Tim was. He'd climbed up the trellis to get to my window. I opened my window and pulled him in, despite every nerve in my body attacking me all at once. "Tim, what are you doing here?" I asked as I slid down to the floor. Tim didn't weigh much, but I was in so much pain getting out of bed took half my strength. He smiled and sat next to me. "You know I think you're insane, right?"

"I know... But I was worried you got in trouble for being out so late last night, so I decided to come and check on you," Tim whispered. Pulling him in the window sent my back into spasms which meant I couldn't stand, even if I wanted to.

"Tim, you didn't have to do all that. I didn't get in any trouble... I just—. I'm not feeling well," I explained. Gross understatement.

"You can't get up, can you?" Tim asked. He was so coolheaded about it I couldn't move myself to lie. I nodded. "I know you don't want any help, but I'm pretty sure I can't leave you on the floor like that."

I begrudgingly reached out for him, and he pulled me up. I winced, and he profusely apologized as he helped me to bed. "My dad threw his back out last summer and got stuck at home with me for a whole week... It was pleasant," Tim whispered as he pulled my blankets over me. I thought that would be it, but he pulled up a chair and dug in his backpack for something.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Hanging out with you... Unless you want to be alone—."

"I definitely don't want that... But do your parents know you're here? It's pitch black out there," I said out of concern for his safety.

"My mom and dad left the morning after they got back. They don't stay home for long," Tim answered. I frowned. At least I saw Bruce every day. He plugged up a projector and asked me if I could see okay from that angle. I nodded.

He set everything up and put the movie on. He sat on the floor, and I looked over at him. "Tim, there's a folding bed and blankets in my closet if you wanna spend the night... And I've got pajamas in my bottom drawer that might fit you," I offered. Tim thanked me and asked if he could use my shower. I nodded. The movie was some 90's sci-fi thing, but I didn't mind.

I fell asleep before he came back, but it wasn't such a deep sleep that I didn't feel him pull my blankets up. I faintly heard the creaking of the fold-out bed and Tim's gentle series of sighs. I think he was asleep too. Things were fuzzy after the movie. I was in a deep sleep by that time, only waking to the sound of Alfred bringing in breakfast. I turned on my side to see if Tim was there. His limbs hung limply toward the floor as he slept on his stomach, mouth agape. "Alfred, I can-."

"No worries, Master Jason. I'll bring up a second tray shortly," Alfred smiled. Alfred was good at keeping secrets. I winced as I pulled myself up to a reclining position and ate breakfast, waiting for Tim to wake up.

Tim took a sharp inhale and turned toward me. "Feeling better?" Tim asked. I nodded. It wasn't a complete lie. At least I was able to sit up. "Thanks for letting me spend the night."

"Thanks for being a good friend," I whispered, "Stay for breakfast. Alfred's on his way up with a tray for you." Tim nodded.

"Mind if I come back tonight?" Tim asked. I nodded.

I could tell he had something on his mind. "Did your parents say goodbye before they left?" I questioned.

"Mhm... Mom woke me up and sat with me for a few minutes, and Dad said his goodbyes on the way out the door," Tim whispered. He seemed detached from it all. I know how I felt when Bruce went away, but Tim didn't feel anything. If he did, he kept it under wraps. He changed into some of my clothes, and I chuckled.

"This must be what it's like to have a little brother," I laughed without thinking. Tim lit up like a Christmas tree. I don't think I've ever seen him so excited about anything. He stayed for breakfast as promised, and Alfred took him to school, leaving me alone in the manor.

I hated being alone. It was terrifying. So terrifying it forced me to call Dick. I hated being afraid. Anger was a much simpler emotion to piece together. I called Dick in the middle of a panic attack. "Hello?" Dick answered the phone.

"Do you remember when I met your friends?" I asked. It was all I could manage to say without sounding panicked.

"Jason, do you want to FaceTime?" Dick asked. I made a soft noise, and he initiated the call. I answered and took a breath as I looked at his face. "Hey," Dick smiled as he whispered in a horse-taming voice. "Stuck in bed?"

I nodded. I couldn't look at Dick and speak at the same time. He'd seen me like that a few times, but I think it calmed him to see me feel something other than anger. He always knew how to pull me out of it. "Alfred's out?" Dick asked. I nodded. "Ohh... Okay, I see. Alfred's coming back. He always does... Until then, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just making a grilled cheese sandwich and avoiding my responsibilities. I heard you've been coming home from school later and later... Girlfriend?"

I shook my head. "Boyfriend?" Dick questioned.

"No," I mumbled. Dick grinned. He managed to distract me long enough to get me to talk. Dick might have asked a hundred questions if that's what it took to get me to relax.

"I like the secrecy of it all," Dick chuckled, "But I hope you're not doing anything dangerous. Can you promise me that you haven't done anything dangerous?"

I nodded. "I promise. I've been doing homework every day after school," I answered, "Most dangerous thing I've done is take a cab home every night."

"Dangerous for you or the taxi driver?" Dick laughed. I smiled and shut my eyes. "Want me to stay while you sleep?"

I nodded and sank into the pillows. I could hear Dick fiddling with plates and shaking a bag of chips in the background. I fell asleep and awakened to the feeling of someone taking my phone off my chest. My eyes shot open, and I grabbed their wrist. To my shock, I realized it was Bruce. "It's alright. Your phone's dying," Bruce reassured me. I wondered how long I'd been asleep. I looked around the room for a clock, and Bruce pushed my hair back.

"You've been asleep for hours," Bruce whispered, "Want me to stay tonight?" I shook my head.

"Bring back ice cream? Doesn't matter what flavor," I whispered. Bruce smiled and nodded.

"Okay... It's not that late yet, though. We've got a few hours. I wanna talk to you," Bruce whispered. He sat on my bed next to me, and I tensed up because I knew he knew something. "You talked to Dick today... Right?"

I frowned. "Yeah, Alfred had to go run errands, and I—. Bruce, I'm okay. I lost my grip for a second. Only a second," I whispered.

"I know... Jason, remember how we talked about the dangers of you telling all you know to a psychiatrist?" Bruce questioned. I nodded.

I thought psychiatrists were off the table. They were a liability that neither of our alter egos could risk. "What if you told bits and pieces? Do you think it would help?" Bruce asked.

"Can't I just talk to you?" I questioned. Bruce went slack-jawed, and he looked me in the eyes. I think we were both terrified. "Bruce, please."

"Jason, I love you, but—." He stood up and left me alone. Bruce abandoned me.