#there's more videos somewhere but this one has a good link so it takes top cake

[starvinginbelair]

kickin' it reunion 2024

[xbinksc]

nsfw smut detailed alphabet with nicholas chavez plsssss

Ahhhhhh I’m so happy someone asked for this😵‍💫

LETS GAURRRRRR

Not proofread and very rushed do not come for me

Warning nsfw duhh

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

It takes him a second to get back into his body (if that even makes sense) but that doesn’t last long cause as soon as he regroupes himself he’s making sure you have what u need to be comfortable and of course the pillow talk is his fav! He does what he can to show how much he adores and appreciates you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This man has worked hard for his body so naturally he’s proud of every part of himself but if he had to pick one it would probably be his thighs (and how u look riding them Oop-). Nicholas is an ass man at heart but is obsessed with your collarbones and your lips.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s messy af😫 when he’s not finishing inside you (with ur consent duh) he’s finishing on your face,your mouth,your stomach, your thighs or your chest.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he’s so obsessed with you that he can’t get off unless it’s to a video of you or has something of yours somewhere near him you laugh about it but you secretly love that you have that kinda hold on him😈

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

It’s no secret that before he met you he was getting around so he’s definitely experienced and knows what he’s doing but he’s also learned a lot from you considering he doesn’t see you as another one of his flings so it’s different for him.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy is y’all’s go to for sure he loves the view and grabbing u by the neck while slowly bringing u close to his chest😵‍💫 nac does appreciate a little missionary or cowgirl moment tho.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

There are times he’ll throw in a few jokes mid fk but he’s quite concentrated making sure u feel good for the most part.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very well groomed but he’s not very hairy in general

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

No matter what mood he’s in sex between you both is very intimate Eye contact, soft whispers, moaning in each others ears and hands linked together.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he doesn’t jack off as often since you guys started dating but when he does it’s nothing out of the ordinary just a quick spank sesh lmao

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Off the top of my head edging,doing it in public, ice play,slightly masochistic

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

literally everywhere. He just loves the idea that he can pick u up and bend u over anywhere and anytime (with consent😋)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Doesn’t take much for him ur mere presence turns him on but if he was to describe a scenario it would most probably be seeing you do really “wifey”shit like something as simple as u sweeping the floor lmao

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

do not ask this man for a threesome🥲

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

A GIVER THROUGH AND THROUGH AND HE IS GOOD a little too good the view of you throwing your head back at the feeling of his tongue is equal to a Picasso art piece in his mind.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually starts off pretty slow but progressively gets faster and rougher

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies all day everyday🙂 jk but I’d say due to both of your busy schedules quickies are quite often between the two of you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s willing to experiment but more vanilla leaning typa stuff nothing too hard core

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

2-3 rounds max but it’s rare y’all hit the 3rd round cause he lasts long and as I said takes it slow in the beginning so 1 round can last like a little over an hour

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’s willing to an extent but y’all never tried them nor made it a priority. You’re bodies are enough for eachother.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he absolutely loves to see u squirm under his control😵‍💫🫠he’s the biggest tease

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not very loud he’s more of a moan n groan in your ear type of guy

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

One time y’all came home from a red carpet event drunk and h0rny as hell so the second u hit the door step y’all got to it removing your clothes piece by piece while making out making your way up the stairs and unbeknownst to you his tie that he removed fell right under ur foot and you slipped and hit ur head leaving u with an open gash on your forehead so y’all had to make your way to the emergency room but fortunately you were fine just a couple stitches although having to explain to the doctors the situation was verrrry awkward and to this day Nicholas refuses to not carry you up the steps.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

A good 8.5-9 inches and not very thick

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It depends how many projects,interviews,etc he’s juggling. Naturally he has a high sex drive but he’s able to suppress it for the most part if needed.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s hype immediately after so during that time he’s usually taking care of you and getting glasses of water and the whole schtick but very often once he’s back in bed laying down it’s as if someone tranquilized him he just knocks tf out once the adrenaline is gone

[karlachismylife]

i told myself i'll take a break in my failing attempts to write a couple things on Karlach x Soap in english and go back to writing a couple other things in my first language for the upcoming fandom combat deadline

so here's a thing i wrote instead and it's neither of those :D

Very much inspired by my precious friend that is obsessed with some datesim I know nothing about and talks my ear off about her sexy chinese dudes while I make her listen to me simping for my dead scottish ADHD meow meow. We don't know shit about each other's fandoms but we're so excited for each other... Also excuse me if this idea has already been done (I swear I thought of it on my own, but I will tag anyone who's done this before if you send me a link) + my English writing still sucks.

I also encourage you to check out these smaus, they're brilliant and I somewhat looked at them when wrote Kyle's text messages and this wonderful thing about Ghost and Animal Crossing that also inspired me to look into these silly military men and mobile/video games.

Task force 141 and their reaction to their S/O playing dating simulator games

CW: gn!civilian!reader (if I slipped into one or the other gender somewhere, please tell me & I'll correct), mostly fluff with a bit of spice, pet names, mild cursing, unserious jealousy and banter, long-distance (Gaz), describing nudes and mild sexting (Gaz), soft Ghost, mentioned spanking (Price), mild dom!Price, alluded reader recieveing fingerng and oral (Soap)

Word count: ~5k

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

That silly app you downloaded because its (very compelling) ads were repeatedly shoved in your face became surprisingly convenient when Gaz got deployed and wasn't within reach for weeks. A slightly clay-looking guy on your screen didn't hold up in comparison to the smoothest bastard sergeant with the tightest grip on your heart, but a cute feature with app notifications stylized as loving text messages from the virtual boyfriend somehow helped cope with the radio silence from Kyle. You knew he would be fine, how could he not? You gave him a very proper goodbye kiss (and goodbye sex that was a bit more improper) for luck, and he was too damn good at his job to fail. You weren't going insane from worry, at least not more than usually.

But the loneliness, the fucking loneliness was a little bit more bearable when you still got your "good morning beautiful xx" and "thinking about you before bed" even though the font was wacky and some phrases were clearly poorly google translated. To unlock these little snippets you opened the app every day, usually tapping mindlessly on all the required interactions before going to sleep and eyeing some of the ingame wardrobe options that wouldn't work too bad on your man. In fact, you even took a screenshot of a nice suit - if tailored right, Kyle would look in it sharper than the tactical knife he knew so well. You just needed an opportunity to show it to him.

And the opportunity barged in with a sudden surge of texts right when you were already getting ready for some shut-eye.

Three weeks of muffled unease wiped out and replaced with that never-tiring giddy feeling bubbling inside as soon as you saw Kyle's name pop up on top of your screen.

"hi baby"

"finally can text, miss you terribly 😘"

"what are you up to angel?"

You could feel your own cheeks strain with the stupid smile plastered on your face. No doubt, Kyle texted you at the first opportunity - he was there, he was okay and he missed you. All sleepiness in your body withered away, leaving you energized at eleven pm, squirming in your bed as you rolled over to start vigorously typing back. You never knew how much time you both have to chat, unstable signal or simply never-ending duty could interrupt you at any given moment, so you had to get your fill of premium class Garrick right there and then - no matter how drowsy it would make you the next morning.

Eventually you sent him the screenshot you took without second thoughts:

"btw thought you'd look good in smth like this baby, what do you think?"

Instead of a normal reply on the topic, though, you recieved an immediate jab followed by short pause:

"the fuck is that baby? 🤣"

"wait i think i know"

"replacing me with a vr boyfriend already? jesus fuck angel i haven't been away even for a month"

"i'm wounded, truly. he doesn't even look that good and can't spell correctly. what a downgrade 😔"

If only you could communicate the muscle-straining eyeroll you had through text. Chuckling and snorting, you immediately came to defence of your pixel prince charming, simply for the sake of it.

"how dare you. he's not a mere replacement, this is true love, garrick 💕🥰❤️✨"

"look at the top, we're already level 29 intimacy"

"gonna get him to send me nudes soon, they unlock at lvl 30"

Gaz could probably hear your bratty giggles on the other side of the globe, sheets rustling as you wiggled in your bed, absolutely proud of your impeccably fine-tuned wit and properly excited for the upcoming smartass comeback, since Kyle would rather die than let you have a win. But you've already calmed down with your cheeks mildly flushed, and the messages were still left on read.

Weird. It wasn't the first time your chatting ended abruptly, but usually Kyle had time at least to tell you he had to go - maybe even exchange little "ily"s. Did the signal cut off? But it was good enough for him to download a picture even, surely he'd notice if it started lagging and tell you. Did something bad happen? An emergency? An ambush?

A slight frown etched in your face as you started unwillingly thinking of the worst. Then - in a moment - that little green circle signaling Gaz was online came back. And still no answer.

Did he... get actually upset? Over a fucking datesim app?

It was hard to believe. Impossible, even. Kyle was never prone to jealosy fits, smug bastard definitely knew how secure you two were. But maybe... maybe it was the fact that you were seeking comfort he couldn't provide? Being told you needed a whole ass app simply to tell you goodnight while he was god knows where, unable to hold you and cuddle you to sleep - that could sting.

Shit, you shouldn't have started this. Gaz wouldn't outright admit he felt even the slightest bit insecure over an unblinking 3D monstrosity with a sexy Korean voice. He'd think it was stupid - and he would be right, frankly, but in this case this wasn't completely unreasonable.

Already anxious, you put your thumbs back on the phone to type out a careful question, but before you could even think of a right way to formulate it the chat chirped and loaded in a bunch of attachments.

Absolutely scandalous. Hastly unndone uniform, sweaty shirt pulled up and - you knew it even if it was outside the frame - clutched in his teeth, bared in a self-assured smirk, belt unbuckled and hanging from the loops of pants pulled down just a bit; just enough for his hand to slip inside and gather into a delicious grasp around the bulge you knew was straining against his boxers. Fucking tease, pulling the elastic band with his thumb to let you see just the base of his cock - you had to swipe several mouth-watering closeups on his chest, v-line beautifully adorned with dark hair and that bloody hand you already ached to feel on your thigh, before you finally got your reward. Hard just from the thought of you, tip glistening with the pre-cum he definitely smeared all over specifically for that picture.

"wanted to ask if your pixel bf can beat these"

"but i think your silence already says enough 😏"

You groaned, belly warm with the familiar longing. What an angel of a man, finding time to somehow snap packs of perfect nudes in the middle of wherever he was. Already turning over to slide your hand down your body, you sent a very sulking "hate you garrick. first made me worried and now horny, shameless bastard" and got an obligatory "sure you do. i'll fuck that attitude outta you as soon as i get back angel".

Somehow all the need in a virtual replacement vanished after this chat. Not only did Kyle text you more regularly - sensing a competition maybe, huh? - but you also got yourself enough material to be comforted before sleep. Sure, you'd rather have your man there in person, but no perfect-looking anime prince could offer a view better than Kyle's flexed arms or a cheeky sneak peek of his plump ass and a smooth back arch snapped over his shoulder.

No wonder you two threw yourselves at each other when Gaz finally showed up home, tired and a little roghed up, but very much alive and pent up for you. Once you were done relieving some of that frustration and cuddled up after a nice, hot shower, though, Kyle nipped your earlobe teasingly.

"No such level to unlock this experience, huh, angel? Something your app boytoy can't provide."

He caught your arm before you could elbow him playfully and grasped you tighter aroung your waist, using his free hand to get his phone and hold it in front of your face.

"Besides, I think he likes me more."

"How the fuck did you get to level sixty, Garrick?!"

Simon "Ghost" Riley

"Twilight was peaking how many years ago? And they still have this stupid choice everywhere."

Simon, the unmoving domestic shadow spread in a comfortable sitting position on your couch for the daily quiet together time, turned his head lazily and gently squeezed your thigh, careful not to disturb your legs thrown over his lap as he leaned a bit closer with a mildly interested "Hm?"

"It's this dating game. They're making me choose between a vampire and a werewolf. Can't think of another conflict for the last decade, really? Why not elves versus orcs? They never make stories about sexy orcs. But there's a market for it! Why stick to the same broken record all the time? Or, I don't know, invent beef between fairies and mermaids!" You huffed in exasperation, waving your phone in a vague gesture meant to express your disdain for the lack of creativity in the supernatural romance visual novels department. Ghost's usual intense stare boring into your face could mean anything - from him silently judging you for lacking respect for the culturally impactful vampries-werewolves feud to a wordless question whether you were in the sexy orc enjoyers market.

But when he finally spoke, scarred lips slightly curled upwards in a hint of an amused smile and eyebrows raised, he asked what seemed to catch his attention much more than what fantasy creature you would like to bang.

"A dating game?" His smirk became more prominent, eyes narrowing as an indicator of him looking for a way to quip in the most unbearable way possible. "What's all that about, love?"

The fact that he didn't know wasn't that surprising, you'd be much more astonished if Ghost did know what a dating simulator game was, but the need to explain still caught you off guard, forcing you to pause with the expressive phone gesturing and actually try and describe the phenomenon.

"Well, it's a mobile game, where you, like... have to play through a story with the main thing being befriending and romancing characters. It's mostly reading a story, really, but you get dialogue options to unlock special scenes with your chosen romantic interest or you can give them gifts..." A stolen glance at Simon told you that he was surprsingly paying attention. "But there's often a plot too. The one I started recently is about, well, vampires and werewolves... a Twilight ripoff, basically, but the player gets to be Bella." You paused, gauging his reaction, but other than his calloused fingers kneading the meat of your thigh Ghost didn't even move, leaving you to look at him with suspicion mixed with amusement. "Want me to show you?.."

Finally, his hand stopped its methodical massaging, only to pat your thigh approvingly and help you sit up, cozily snuggled up to the man whose hoodie you shamelessly stole just to wear around him. Wrapping his muscular arm around you, Ghost leaned his head against yours and prepared for the highly educational lecture on the world full of opportunities to get turned down because of having too low approval with the character.

You showed him the exact story that got you so riled up, explained the quite primitive mechanics behind gaining attraction points with the characters and rehashed the entire plot up to the point where you were stuck now - the one where it was obvious the game wanted you to pick a side. Simon listened carefully, gruff chuckles at some of your grumbling and a lot of very insightful commentary on each and every character ("that one's got Johnny's fucking mighty schnotz" and " 'course he's a fucking twat, look at his bloody necktie, a hemp one would be an improvement on 'im"), inculding your own avatar that you spent considerable time making to look like you wanted.

"That supposed to be you, love?" He didn't even try to mask the snarky tone, and you definitely prepared to be offended. You put so much thought into the character looks! So what if they didn't match your real ones fully? It's the game limitations, not your fault. "Hmph. Maybe good enough for these two muppets to fight over. But I reckon I like my version better. Comes with high-quality visuals."

His arm tightened around your shoulders, pulling you up for a short and sweet kiss, rough thumb stroking your jawline tenderly and pressing up under your chin when Ghost pulled away with a crooked smirk, shattered with scars into an artful mosaic.

"Trying to get your approval higher, sir?" You teased, eyes darting between his smiling - what a view, honestly - eyes and ready to be kissed again lips. His response was predictable. "It's working, innit, love? Think there's enough for a special bonus scene yet?"

Despite you clearly pretending to think and count his imaginary attraction points, Simon already started pulling you up into his lap, holding you securely and running his fingers along the curve of your back. "Might need a little more convincing, gamer. You didn't even bring a special gift to this date." Ghost's half-lidded eyes sparkled with hidden competitevness and his chest rumbled with a deep chuckle as he reached out to take your phone out of your hand softly.

"Gave you the hoodie. It counts." Ignoring your not very convincing protests ("It's mine already, of course it doesn't count!"), he tapped something on your screen and then put the phone away, wrapping his arms back around your form and slowly leaning into a tangled cuddlepile in an almost lying position. All your squirming successfully restrained with a bearhug, you huffed and placed your chin on Ghost's chest, looking up at him. He was there, with you, but deep in his gaze you noticed a certain swrling cloud of thoughts. Reading Simon's eyes was a must with him, he knew you could and didn't ever hide them from you.

"What are you thinking about?" You carefully inquired, running your hands over his shoulders and squeezing gently, a habit helping both of you to ease some tension. Simon blinked, tilting his head slightly, and let out a small sigh, seeking the right words. "You're not playing that game because I'm not doing enough, are you, lovie? 'Cos if you are, I'd rather you tell me what's wrong."

Always straight to the point. At least, when he finally decides to speak up. The big, scary dog worried about a silly mobile game as his competition? Cute. But the seriousness in his eyes called for a proper answer, not a teasing joke or a simple "aww, don't worry".

"You're doing more than enough, Simon, and you know it. It's a game, just living out my fantasies as the main character. But I can delete it if it makes you uncomfortable, it's no big deal, you know?" The tiniest bit of tension you felt underneath your fingertips disappeared, leaving Ghost sinking even further into the couch with you properly wrapped in his protective embrace.

"Nah, gorgeous, you keep playin' whatever shite you wanna be playin'. Just promise to keep me updated on the bloke so I can upstage him in every way." His voice got muffled since he buried his face in your chest, eyes closed peacefully and pure bliss written in all the relaxed features. Cradling his head, you hummed in agreement, but then perked up again.

"Wait, what bloke? You picked one of them for me?" - "Mhm." - "Oh come on, Simon, what happened to the freedom of choice!" You could feel his smile get more prominent despite being hidden in the softness of your chest covered with the thick hoodie material. "Which one did you choose? The vampire 'cause he's wearing all black?"

"Nuh-uh. The other one. The mutt."

You giggled at his choice of words and let out a quiet "oi" when Simon pinched you for disturbing his calm enjoyment of a "bonus scene" with the chosen romance option, that being you.

"Why? You're a Wolf Man fan or something?"

"'f course I am, love. He's British."

Captain John Price

When you saw the notification that the game you got sucked into with the active help of your friends got a "sound update", you knew what that meant - they finally added English voiceover lines for every single hunk of a man you had in your virtual harem, and you couldn't wait to hear what voices they gave your favourites. Given the nature of the game, you decided to put your earbuds on and started listening through the whole voicelines library, busying your hands with mundane tasks like folding laundry. John was sitting in the kitchen, fully immersed into his reading - potentially work-related. Or at least enthralling enough for him to miss your flushed cheeks or periodical giggling.

But no matter how important his reading was, what he couldn't miss was the sultry male voice coming out of your phone with a whispered "Wouldn't you love that, bunny?". Of course the parinig connection between your phone and the wireless earbuds had to get interrupted exactly when you were pouring yourself a cuppa and couldn't even drop the kettle in order to shush the suggestive purring of your digital fave.

You could feel Price staring at you. You could practically hear his bushy eyebrows slowly rising as he patiently waited for you to say something first. You were fully contemplating brewing yourself some poison instead of tea to avoid getting confronted by your man who just heard someone call you bunny on the phone.

So when you didn't start first, John, more amused than anything - he knew you too well to read through all your tiny microreactions and conclude that this wasn't hardcore evidence of an affair, but something much more suitable for future teasing (were you listening to porn or something? a naughty audiobook? oh so many golden opportunities to make you squirm under the steel gaze of the captain) - asked very nonchalantly: "What was that, darling?"

"What?" There was no point in pretending you didn't know what he's talking about, but you still tried. If anything, it allowed you to stall while you very hesitantly turned around and saw John and his smile, not even a hint of sterness in the round plumpness of bearded cheeks and little crow's feet in the corners of his eyes. "What was what, honey? You want some tea too?"

A futile attempt at deflecting and bribery rolled into one. You were lucky you were not his subordinate. You were unlucky the voice of some other man, dripping with mirth, came back into your ear once the next voiceline loaded in and the connection with your earbuds got restored. This was equal to admitting your crimes in front of the judges, but you slowly took your phone out of your pocket and hit pause.

"Does the tea come with an explnation who's the bloke whispering in your pretty ears, bunny? 'Cos if so, I'll take a cuppa, thank you very much."

He was beaming. Leaned back in his chair, knees wide apart and burly arms folded on his chest, Price wanted to have a wee little pause in his serious reading, and watching you squirm was the best distraction and brain-reloading he could ever get.

"I-it's not like that, I promise." Was that a bead of sweat running down your nape? John grunted, cocking an eyebrow and pushing his chin into his chest to stare at you from an angle that best conveyed that "I am not convinced, love" look. "It's just a little game, John, promise. Not a real man, just a made-up character."

Those piercing eyes narrowed even more, silently measuring you up for potentially bullshitting him, and then a heavy hand patted the broad thigh. An order, not an invitation (an order you could always disobey, though...)

"Show me."

Forgetting the option to disobey with little consequences, you hung your head down and dragged yourself and your fresh cuppa over to John, settling in his lap. The tea didn't even make it to the table, he snatched it from your fingers, careful enough not to spill, and sipped loudly, patting your side condescendingly. Any more stalling could result in various stages of burning buttocks, so you complied with the demand without Price repeating himself and opened the app, disconnecting your earbuds in the process.

He clearly wanted to hear that embarassing shit.

Your explanations of what a datesim was seemed to amuse John greatly - knowing his love for farming games, you made sure to mention all the best ones mixing the two genres, clearly trying to sweeten the deal.

"So wha', sum muppet in your phone callin' you bunny and you like 't? Maybe I should start too, huh?" You had to close your eyes to stop the internal screaming, and John's gruff chuckle hit your burning ear with a gentle puff. "But these, erm..." - "Companions." - "Riiight, these companions, they ain't whispering something... naughtier, are they?"

There was a hint of seriousness in his question, so you opened your eyes again and turned to look at him. His face was still smiling calmly, but the expectation was that of an honest and direct answer.

"Well, they do have more explicit scenarios and voicelines..." - "They talkin' dirty to you, eh? Guess I should step up my game." He flexed his jaw and leaned even closer, brushing his slightly chapped lips over the tender shell of your ear, soft beard tickling you and leaving you helpless. "Can't have my sweetheart wooed by sum app game fockers, can I? C'mere you little bunny, Imma show you sumthin' to hop on."

He stood up suddenly, lifting you with a soft grunt and dragging you away from the forgotten phone and empty cup. No amount of "John!" squeaked out could save you from that bear of a man groping your ass before throwing you onto bed and climbing on top. His weight squeezed the air out of your lungs as he roamed his big palmes all over your sweet body, even more enthusiastic about the impromptu break in his work.

"Ugh, fine, Johnathan Price, I won't be listening to the spicy dialogues! Just let me finish my-" Absolutely futile, your plea to get back to housework you had planned got cut short by a deep kiss, John's tongue sliding in your mouth as the most efficient (okay, maybe, second most) gag he could use on you. Your hands, previously pressed against his furry chest in an attempt to push him off, relaxed and buried themselves in his thick hair, ruffliing it and tugging him closer by the strands. A low grunt let you know what you already knew and felt much lower - John fully approved both that and your promise to keep away from the horny digital harem.

"Why even bother with 'em bloody games when you can 'ave the real thing, huh?"

John "Soap" MacTavish

"Whit are ye smiling at there, bonnie?"

Before you could even process the question and come up with any answer (excuse) about the silliest giddy smile that a cutscene in your chosen romance route got out of you, your massive - the only way to not be thrown off by Johny "Can't Sleep Still" MacTavish - bed creaked underneath the impressive weight of a fine Scottish specimen. Like a curious pup, Soap squeezed his head through the loop of your arm, earning himself a choking cuddle in the process, and stared into your screen.

"No, Johnny, piss off! It's personal!" You scrambled to turn your phone away from him and held it to your chest, a traitorous warmth in your cheeks threatening to give away what kind of personal it was. Of course, Soap caught on immediately, playful glint in his eyes as he simply yanked the phone out of your grip and turned over onto his back, shamelessly using you as a pillow while he unlocked your screen (why the fuck were you two so trusting and shared passwords!) and looked at the animated cutscene.

And why did it have to be the first spicy one you finally unlocked?

"What's tha'? Didnae peg ye fur a hentai type, bonnie." Soap watched the looped animation for a few more seconds while you wrestled against his heavy fucking carcass helplessly. With a single tap he closed the cutscene and let out an amused hum when met with the continuation of your unlocked chapter. "Och, so ye're reading smut too? Naughty."

You squirmed visciously, fighting for your dignity as he started reading aloud through the desciption of what didn't make the cutscene. The experience was downright horrible, humiliating and arousing at the same time as Johnny's thick brogue and mocking tone killed every ounce of spice in the steamy scene and somehow added new ones. Along with his stuttering. This lad... you even tried to grab his arm and chew on the meaty muscle in hopes of distracting him, but he didn't even flinch, simply pulling his limb out of your grasp and putting it behind his head comfortably. Outraging.

"Slender aristocratic fingers squeezing supple..." he smacked his lips so loudly that you groaned, "...flesh nae hard enough tae leave marks, but enough tae el... elicit pleasure, his breath hot in yer ear, whispering... Hauld yer horses- how come is yer name 'ere, bonnie? Who's writing this fur ye?" You nearly bounced off the bed when Soap suddenly sat up straight, relieving you from his (quite welcome, to be fair) burden, and frowned at your phone, scrolling through the erotc piece as if he could figure out who was the author just from reading it carefully enough. The pout he turned to you with was nothing short of absolutely heartbreaking. "Who's tha' "Laird Sebastian" prick writing a' kinds of nasty shite he wants tae dae tae ma' leannan? Am ah nae enough fur ye, bonnie? Dae ye wanntae leave me fur some posh bastard wi' a stick so far up his arse tha' it pokes outta his yapper?"

It was so obvious that Soap was just taking the piss, but his bottomless puppy eyes with the longest lashes fluttering as if on the verge of tears were working their dark magic, crashing your train of thought like a whole gang of outlaws from the Wild West and coercing you into making an apologetic expression and reaching your arms pleadingly for a hug. "Aw, come on, Johnny, it's just a-"

"Ah dinnae think tis a good idea, love. Ah dinnae have slender aristocratic fingers, wha' if a'm awful lot o' a commoner tae yer tastes..." Soap tilted his chin up, a perfect depiction of dignity suffering horrible offence, and turned away defiently, immediately peeking back at you from the corner of his twinkling blue eye. You knew those little smiling creases too well to miss them forming despite him holding a pout quite successfully, so you scoffed, still slightly flushed from being caught red-handed, and rolled your eyes, snuggling up to Johnny from behind and starting to kiss behind his ear.

"I'm so, so sorry, love of my life. No posh bastards come nowhere near you, you're my favourite commoner. Fuck Lord Sebastian-" You realized you chose the wrong wording when Soap couldn't hold back a snort. "Aye, well, seems lik' ye were planning on doing exactly tha-" - "Oh shut the fuck up, MacTavish!"

Shut the fuck up he did, turning back to face you abruptly and tackling you into the sheets, lavishing kisses with his searing hot lips all over your face. A real mutt pouncing the handler he has no respect and all the love for. There was no choice left for you other than wrap all your limbs around Soap and writhe underneath him, nearly missing that very inconspicuous way he reached his arm out and dropped your phone on the nightstand before cradling your head for much deeper, sloppier kisses.

"Gonna show tha' laird sod how tae fuck mah bonnie real good, aye? Mak' ye come wi' thae fingers right 'ere, nae aristocrat bullshit." Lapping up your neck with his wet tongue, Soap planted a greedy kiss right underneath your jaw and sucked at the soft skin until it showed a little pinkish hue. The bastard was set on making you sing for him, big rough palms grabbing handfuls of your flesh, squeezing and massaging while Johnny kept decending down your body with clear determination. "C'mon, leannan, let me hear ye. Say yer ol' Johnny's better than tha' bawbag Sebastian."

Sliding your hands over his broad shoulders, you held his nape before tugging on his slightly outgrown mohawk, your own head falling backwards in an exhausted yet adoring sigh.

"You know it's just a game, right, loverboy? A dating simulator, not a real thing? Oi, watch it!" A sharp gasp escaped your lips as Soap chomped on your side and immediately nuzzled into your stomach to blow raspberries into the soft plush, catching you once you started squirming and giggling. No intention of letting you catch your breath until he heard what he wanted. "Fine! Fine, Johnny, you are so, so much better than Lord Sebastian."

Satisfied, he loosened his grasp on you and lifted his head, grinning like he's just won you over from somene actually threatening in terms of romance. Hooked his fingers into your housewear bottoms, slowly tugged them down and started trailing hot-mouthed kisses down from your solar plexus, sky blue eyes glazing over with the never-satiated hunger for your taste on his greedy tongue.

You held your breath. A joke was itching inside your mouth, begging to be let out, dancing on the tip of your tongue...

"You're lucky I didn't choose Duke Aaron's route. That's some serious competion."

"Och, away 'n bile yer heid, bonnie!"

Thank you for reading! I appreciate all interactions, likes, reblogs, comments and requests (send in anything for now! I can filter them myself, but I am open to smut, including rare kinks and some dark themes. Keep in mind though that I am limited by my skill & overall prefer sugary fluff. I will write for any of the task force 141 and baldur's gate characters, including parings, poly, x reader and x OC), I will write drabbles, headcanons and whatever else formats you can think of.

Also any corrections are welcome as long as you're not being mean! Thank you <3

[montrealmadison]

in your palace warm, mighty king

okay i’ve recently found myself on angel tree tiktok. if you’re unfamiliar with the concept, basically, some stores will put out a tree around the holidays with gift tags for anonymous local kids, and people coming in to do their own shopping can take a tag off the tree and buy kids gifts off their wishlists for the store to pass off to them. (the linked video shows it in action!)

anyway this got me thinking about jack zimmermann at the beginning of his career. he has been fabulously wealthy and privileged for his whole life, but he’s only recently started earning a massive salary of his own and has no real idea of what to spend it on. he’s comfortable. he has a car and a nice apartment and an engagement ring hidden somewhere in said apartment. he knows he should probably donate to a worthwhile cause, but he hasn’t figured out what.

one day, though, bitty’s visiting for the weekend and comes to the store with him, and right there in the entryway, he just… stops. jack doesn’t notice and consequently almost runs him over with the cart.

“you alright? careful, eh?”

bitty does not respond, because he’s looking at the tree.

“bud?”

jack follows his gaze. it really doesn’t look like much. it’s fake, unlit, and has seen better days if the way it’s a little flattened on one side is anything to go by. there is an equally squashed-looking stuffed snowman sat on the floor next to it. it’s the kind of thing your eyes slide over easily, hurrying from one place to another. blink and you’ll miss it.

bitty isn’t blinking.

“lord, i haven’t seen one of these in years,” he says. his voice is soft. he still isn’t looking at jack. “do you know what it is?”

jack doesn’t, so bitty explains. and when they inch closer, jack sees that all the ornaments he thought were plain paper before are actually printed with ages, shoe sizes, requests for warm coats and toys and cute jeans and deodorant. here and there is a specific wish—a bluetooth speaker. a particular board game. one kid, age eight, is fervently hoping for a bike.

and—okay. here’s the thing. they’ve been together for more than a year, and bitty is pretty willing to go along with jack’s desire to spoil him. but although he’s so open and accepting when jack wants to kiss him, or cook dinner for a change, or lay him out on their bed and make him feel good—he will always, always get uncomfortable where significant amounts of money are involved. it was the subject of the one and only fight that sent them to bed still heated. the fundamental difference between their upbringings is the hardest for them to grasp: jack has never known a life without plenty. and bitty—

“i think my parents put me on one,” bitty says. “the year we moved back to madison, after—”

the closet looms between them, black and yawning.

“well. you know. coach had to leave a good job in lawrenceville. took us a while to get back on our feet, i think. and that year, they couldn’t—i mean, i heard them talking at night about how we might not be able to make christmas work, when they thought i couldn’t hear them. but i still wrote my letter to santa, and there were a couple presents when i woke up christmas morning, so.” he scuffs one shoe on the industrial carpet. “maybe an angel sent ‘em.”

the words make something sizzle down jack’s spine and settle low in his gut. he steps forward, reaches out, turns over the nearest tag.

boy, age 11. shoe size: 8. wishlist: sneakers, earbuds, basketball, patriots merch, chapter books. loves fantasy and mythology.

once upon a time, jack spent three months in a rehab center designed specifically for the privacy needs of celebrity clients. his parents footed the bill, had the windows on all their cars tinted for him to hide behind when he got out. at the same time, thousands of miles away, bitty sat at the top of the stairs in his parents’ house and listened to them wonder if they could afford to keep the magic of christmas alive another year.

people are stepping around them to get out of the cold, now, their eyes skipping right over the tree and the boys in front of it. once upon a time, strangers on the street picked apart jack’s overdose like a piece of tabloid gossip. strangers on the street made sure a thirteen-year-old kid had something to unwrap with his family on christmas morning.

“bits?”

bitty sniffles, swipes at one eye with the sleeve of his sweater. “yeah?”

jack lifts the tag gently off its branch, catches bitty’s gaze. bitty’s intake of breath is so sharp it’s audible over the music playing overhead. do you see what i see?

“what do you think? wanna go get us another cart?”

[girl-in-the-mirrorbluenight]

Okay I've been thinking about this pretty much all day since I saw the hbomberguy and then todd in the shadows video i just have so many thoughts. While I wouldn't necessarily call myself a Video Essayist™ (I've only made a few over the years) as a youtuber and someone who has made video essays i definitely have more experience than the average person. There are so many things that stand out to me about this whole debacle i dont even know where to start.

First I want to just give a little insight into the process for making video essays from people who've never given it a shot and just how absurd it is to do the type of plagiarizing James has done. Video essays take a fuckton of research, even for pretty simple topics, but on top that you also have to make them with the medium of video in mind. it's really not enough to just take an essay you would write for a class and read it out loud. the flow is different, you have to have accompanying visuals, often background music, etc. They're a beast to make. My Twisted video for which i used literally two sources for my research (Sondheim's books and the musical Twisted) still took days of thorough reading, note taking, watching the musical, watching the musical again, watching the musical and taking notes, cross-referencing my notes, etc. For videos that synthesize multiple sources or are covering multiple pieces of media, that time goes up exponentially. Then there's writing, recording, gathering clips (often one of the most difficult parts depending on how obscure what you're talking about is), and editing. Even for a silly video like my Glee video, I still had to do a ton of research to make sure I was getting things correct, and that was a funny tier list about freaking Glee! There is just no way you could come up with a thorough analysis by just copying and pasting. Which brings me to my next point.

I think James may have thought (or more likely rationalized) what he was doing as analysis based on like the vaguest definition. When you do any kind of analysis, what you're doing is taking research from multiple different places (news articles, primary sources, existing analysis, etc.) and coming to your own conclusions, whether that's a synthesis of those different sources, or applying it to a specific thing like a movie. Really simple example is my Twisted video where I take Sondheim's writing and apply it to a specific piece of media (in this case Twisted). I'm using existing work but coming to my own conclusion. In the Spies Are Forever video, I took existing research about the Lavender Scare and the Hays Code, including primary sources from the time period, and applied it to the musical Spies are Forever. What James seem to do is take a bunch of existing scholarship, copy and paste it all together and then come to a "conclusion" that was not actually his own original thoughts but either "facts" he completely made up or something that didn't do anything to actually link his other "sources" together. I can see why it has the veneer of analysis, but making up a random "fact" you think might be true is not the same as a drawing a conclusion based on research.

I also think Todd made a really good point in the part about England's propaganda campaign against Italy around 9:30 that it's just really bad video making to not include examples of images from this so called propaganda campaign. I have a ton of examples of news clips, government reports, etc. in my SaF video about the Lavender Scare because...it was a real historic thing that happened! If something was supposedly so widespread and not even that long ago, you can probably find evidence of it somewhere. Kaz Rowe (who is also linked in the queer creators playlist on hbomberguy's vid) talked about this a lot in their video about tiktok misinfo where people often make these outrageous claims but the thing is if something so outrageous happened (like people constantly shitting on the floors of versailles), other people at the time would probably be talking about it somewhere. It's a big red flag when someone makes such bold claims and has no evidence to back it up.

Putting this last section under the cut because I go talk about WWII, Nazis, and HIV/AIDS a bit (watch Todd's video for some more context) so if you don't want to see that post is over here.

Lastly I wanted to talk about something else Kaz brings up in a lot of their videos when talking about historical topics and that is the tendency to dehumanize people of the past, often as unwashed, unintelligent masses who would just do any ridiculous disgusting thing because they were so stupid and disgusting. There are a lot of things to criticize about the people of the past and their actions obviously, but we cannot forgot that they were in fact, people. Real individual people with their own lives and dreams and ambitions and individual opinions and they have never been and never will be a monolith. Claiming anything is broadly true of "the victorians" or "the ancient egyptians" or whatever other vague historical group you want to talk about is usually a lot more nuanced than "they all thought or acted in this one particular way". I'm certainly not a historian and i've only done one history focused video but James Somerton seemed to make a lot of broad historical claims in his videos that I think fall into this trap.

The one that stood out most to me in Todd's video was the claim about Nazi body standards which is a whole mess in general that Todd goes into for a while, but the way he talks about WWII soldiers was just like...weird. Besides the fact that a lot of his claims about Nazis seem to be bordering on glorifying them and their aesthetics (gross), I think we should remember that WWII was less than a century ago. There are still over 100,000 surviving WWII vets in the US. My grandfather who was in the Army during WWII (he didn't serve overseas but he was an enlisted soldier I can literally look up his enlistment records in the national archives online) was a real person who I obviously knew personally and who died fairly recently. To think he enlisted because he was jealous of German fitness or whatever and wanted to prove how tough Americans are is an absolutely hilarious thing to think if you knew him. I'm sure there are as many reasons for enlisting as there were enlisted soldiers. When James talks about even as relatively narrow of a group as "WWII American soldiers," he's still talking about a very large group of real and diverse people and to make such broad claims that "most" or even "a lot" of them were just so taken in by strong german physiques or whatever is frankly insulting. I haven't watched the entirety of James video so maybe he does address this at some point, but from the clips I've seen it seems very generalized and implies some level of racism when WWII soldiers in fact included a lot of racially diverse people. IDK, i think if you're a supposed historical researcher and you're making a video about WWII and you don't know about groups like the Tuskegee Airmen or the Navajo Code Talkers, that's on you. I don't want to discount some of the really horrible shit that American (and obviously other countries) soldier's did in the war and how many of them held disgusting views (even my grandpa who I love dearly was not the most politically correct person to put it lightly) but Jame's claims are not criticizing any real ideology or the consequences of them, they're oversimplifying complex and harmful historical ideas and attributing them to something he pretty much made up. I'll also give you a little hint about something. When people fall into Nazi ideology, it's because they ultimately agree with the ideology, not for some surface level aesthetic reason of "fitness" or whatever. They are antisemitic, they are racist, they are eugenicists, plain and simple. They don't just think the Nazis are cool except for all their beliefs. I also think (and again I could be missing a part of the video here) the hyper focus on the Germans and the Soviets and not mentioning Italy is at the very least an oversight too. Mussolini, like Hitler and Stalin, had a pretty big campaign of promoting an ideal strong race which he tied to ancient Romans. Like this was also a country controlled by a fascist dictator that American soldiers fought in idk it just seems weird to me to leave it out. (okay edit i looked up the transcript and he does talk about Italian fascism a little bit but only about how Mussolini rose to power, nothing about his ideologies or anything really related to the main topic of body image).

And one more thing on that note that bothered me a lot. I think his claims about HIV/AIDS is probably the most well-known here on tumblr and has been pretty thoroughly destroyed by this point, but I do just want to say one more thing about it which is that AIDS isn't gone! I feel like they way he talks about it from what I've seen of this video makes HIV/AIDS sound like a problem of the past now that we have drugs for it, but that is just not the truth. There are still tens of thousands of new infections in the US each year and way more globally and yes, people do still die from it. I just don't like when people talk about AIDS as if it's this problem of the distant past, a separate era that people went through in the 80s rather than an ongoing epidemic that still does not have a cure. Safer sex, clean needle usage, and getting tested are just as important now as they were in the 80s and 90s and don't forget that.

[dukeoftheblackstar]

got any plo koon fic recs? looking for some new stuff that's good. one shots and long fics welcome! I'll take anything i can get

Shamelessly promoting my own:

Dom!Plo ask by yours truly, submitted by the lovely @mild-disorganization

Some tired dad!Plo headcanons maybe?

And for some that I have read and adored:

Plo Koon Masterlist by @my-head-is-an-animal (Mixed)

Thigh Kink with Plo by @saradika (NSFW)

Not a fic, but hella spice by @saradika (SFW & NSFW)

Friendship - Plo Koon & Wolffe by @wild-karrde (SFW)

PloKit Art (their entire blog) by @uiro-mgmg1 (NSFW - mostly art)

SFW & NSFW Alphabets for Plo by @samspenandsword

My favorite ♥:

Sovereign (PloKit, idk if you're into it, but I am) by @tits-fisto (NSFW but very wholesome)

The Tiniest Councilor by Quiet_Shadow (SFW)

Name and Soul by @decepticonsensual (SFW)

Haven't read but is on queue when I have the mood and will power to actually read and not thirst for our Kel Dor Emperor ♥

of claws and tusks by my bestiecakes ♥ @saengak <- Apparently, it's hella angsty and I reserve the angst for weekend when I'm not out here thirsting for this King.

in deditionem by my bestiecakes ♥ @saengak <- I've seen them write ♥, it makes me squeeeeeeee ♥

Helium by @cynderiaopus who also made my current bomb AF pfp of Plo steepling ♥

Other materials and interesting read:

@exosorcery has very interesting comics and posts about Kel Dors in general. Here's one specific of Plo Koon:

A few faves from them:

@veny-many for their AUs and Plo Koon & Wolfpack Art (also includes others) <- Presenting you the bebbis ♥

My faves:

The entire post AU 66 where Plo lives is a quintessential to any post AU 66 imho because I'm heavily invested in this and I'm about to cry because I need to organize my bookmarks (and update this) so I can give you the proper start to fin link.

I'd post more from @veny-many and @exosorcery, but if you spend a good 10 minutes scrolling, you'll be there forever. Quality art content!

You may also want to check World building and ConLang Kel Dor study, apart from their OC x Plo Koon art. Big thanks for this neat document by @plokoonsdisapprovingeyebrows

[[ @plokoonsdisapprovingeyebrows I hope it's okay to share. If not, I can take it down ♥ ]]

So far just these at the top of my head. Thank you for the Plo-related ask :D! I enjoyed sifting through my bookmarks ♥

Don't forget to give love and reblog, comment, follow these amazing people who do so much for the Plo Koon, Dorin, Kel Dor tags ♥

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 14: DREAM CATCHER - Episode 1: To The Next Season

Ibuki: Hmm… Something’s not right.

Ibuki: What about this angle… Hmm.

Ibuki: (I can’t really decide… I wonder if I can find some inspiration somewhere.)

Ibuki:  …

Ibuki: (Even TikTak has been full of promo videos for theater companies lately.)

Ibuki: Ah, “Get To Know MANKAI Company”?

Ibuki: (MANKAI Company, eh…)

Iv has entered the chat momo: eugh… i probably messed up… Iv: wassup? momo: no… i just got a little carried away… ig Kar: idgi shiki: you’re always free to tell us if something’s bothering you

-

Sakuya in the video: “Thank you very much!”

Masumi in the video: “Thank you very much.”

-

Muku: *dreamy sigh* … The RomiJuli sequel was so good.

Tenma: Thinking back to your debut really does make one emotional.

Kumon: It’s so awesome how you can tell how much they’ve grown as they play the same role!

Yuki: It’s like their growth as actors is linked to their characters’ personal growth.

Kazunari: Pretty much. It’s like there’s some synergy going on~

Misumi: I can’t wait for our “Water Me!” sequel~

Muku: Me neither! I wonder what kind of story it’ll be?

Tenma: We have to show that we’ve grown just as much as the Spring Troupe has

Muku: … Huh?

Izumi: What’s wrong?

Muku: The boy in the audience in this video… Isn’t he Masumi-kun’s fan?

Izumi: Ah, you’re right. That’s Towa-kun.

Tenma: Is that the fan that came to talk to Tsuzuru-san the other day?

Izumi: Yeah.

Muku: So he managed to get a ticket for the first day. I’m glad.

Izumi: He said it’d be his first time watching a performance in a theater, he must’ve been very emotional.

Izumi: (If anything, he was a little too emotional. I’d have never expected him to say what he did…)

[Flashback starts]

Towa: … Tsuzuru Minagi-sensei!! I want you to write a script for my troupe!! Please!!

Tsuzuru: Eh? … EHHHH!?

Tsuzuru: You want me to write a script?

Towa: Yes!

Sakuya: That’s amazing! Have you created a troupe?

Towa: Um, I plan to start creating it from now on…

Izumi: Have you gathered members?

Towa: N-No… I plan to start doing that.

Masumi: In other words, it’s just you right now.

Towa: But I… want to create a troupe just like MANKAI Company!

Towa: When I participated in the Spring Troupe's workshop, I learned a little about how plays are created, and what it feels like to stand on stage...

Towa: And I became more interested in theater.

Towa: And then, when I actually watched the Spring Troupe’s performance in a theater, I was moved in a way I’ve never been before.

Towa: Thanks to the hard work of many people, the play takes on a real form on top of the stage, and the actors truly shine…

Towa: It made me think that I want to stand on that stage as well. I want to try shining the way everyone does…

Towa: This may be too simple, and my way of thinking might be naive, but…

Towa: I feel like fate brought me here, to find what I want to do, and to discover theater!

Tsuzuru: … I see. Fate, huh?

Towa: I’m sorry, this probably seems really stupid to you…

Izumi: Not at all.

Tsuzuru: I’ve also felt this way, so I get it.

Sakuya: I also felt that way when I first experienced theater.

Citron: We totally understand Towa’s feels~!

Izumi: Moments like that do happen. I believe that if you feel like you’re destined to act, then that means you have the talent for it.

Tsuzuru: I understand your motivation, and I’d love to cooperate with you. But when you’re the only member in the troupe…

Tsuzuru: Performing a one-person act as a beginner is pretty difficult, so I’d rather your troupe has at least 4 members.

Towa: I need 3 more…

Towa: … I understand! I’ll find them!

Tsuzuru: Alright. I’ll be waiting.

Izumi: Do your best.

Sakuya: We’ll be cheering for you!

Towa: Thank you very much!

[Flashback ends]

Izumi: (I do wonder how things are going with Towa-kun’s company, but I have to prioritize the Summer Troupe’s performance.)

Izumi: (Our ranking may have improved, but we’re still far from the Fleur Award…)

Izumi: (The new companies are all rapidly gaining momentum, so we need to keep our guard up as we move to 2Q…)

previous episode (act 13) | masterpost | next episode

[seblaineworld]

Hey, Seblainers! Hellooooo, everyone else!

10 Days Of Seblaine 2023

One week to go, so without further ado, here's what you need to know.

The Rules

When?

The event runs from Monday, 6th November until 23:59 (of your own timezone) on Wednesday, 15th November 2023.

Who can take part?

Anyone and everyone who shares our love of Seblaine!

What can we submit?

Anything, as long as it is Seblaine-related! Fics, Graphics, Gifs, Gifsets, Videos, Manips, Playlists, Lyrics - anything you like as long as it fits the themes! I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone comes up with.

Please remember to use #seblaineworld and #10daysofseblaine2023 within the first five tags, and also put @seblaineworld somewhere in your posts, since we all know just how flaky Tumblr can be about tags!

Be sensible and considerate. We're all very well aware that not everyone shares our love of Seblaine, and even within our own tiny (but always fierce!) Seblainer Fandom, there are those who don't enjoy mature content, so please ensure you tag everything you submit, appropriately.

Can I cross-post/combine themes?

Yes! You can combine any of the themes that you want. And if your contribution does combine multiple themes, you can post on whichever day you prefer. Just remember, if your contribution covers one or more themes, then properly tag all days, regardless of which day you actually post on.

Do I need to submit something for every day?

Absolutely not. If you want to contribute something for every day, then of course you can, but it's not a requirement at all. We know everyone has busy lives, so just do what you can when you can.

Can I post a WIP or work if it fits the themes, even if I started it weeks/months/years before the 10 Days Of Seblaine 2023 announcement?

Absolutely! Your Admin has done this before and feels it's a great way to refresh creativity and blow the cobwebs off that piece you just KNOW you'll finish one day, but never quite seem to have the time. So feel free to post anything you've already started - providing it fits one of the themes!

On that note, do remember that the free day is exactly that. A day on which you can write about/create for, any theme you like! Did your favourite theme just narrowly miss out on being in the top 10? If so, here's your chance to do something about it and make a submission using that theme!

When do we start posting?

As soon as it becomes Monday 6th November in your own timezone, post your work to your Tumblr blog, and as mentioned above, please tag it #seblaineworld and #10daysofseblaine2023 then make sure those two are in your first five tags. Please also put @seblaineworld somewhere in your post.

If you're going to be posting your work to another site like AO3 or ff.net, post a properly tagged link on your Tumblr.

A 10 Days Of Seblaine collection will be added to AO3.

Can I post early?

Sorry, no. 🙃 Tumblr, however, does let you schedule posts so you can schedule the post for the right day, even if you're not going to be around that day. Of course this gets a little harder to navigate if you’re also posting to another site like AO3/ff.net, so if this is going to be a problem, let me know and I'll figure it out.

Can I post late?

Now for the good news - yes! I know how time can occasionally run away from us all, so as long as everything is tagged properly you can post (for example) your day 3 piece on day 7 and that won't be a problem. Everything posted will be reblogged until Friday, November 24th.

You haven't reblogged my work yet!

No problem! Again, because Tumblr can be (very!) erratic, just send me an Ask or message if I haven't reblogged your work within 24 hours of you posting it, and I will get onto it right away.

So, that's it for now! I'm excited to see all your work, and hope you'll join me for this bumper celebration of Seblaine on Monday 6th November. Just drop me an Ask or message if you have a question that's not been addressed here, and I'll see you all a week today!

Ail 💜

[chim-chim1310]

I'm that anon who talked about feeling like JK and JM are not on the same levels (sorry if we're circling back to JK) and I think it's much more highlighted now because of that latest statement he made in the Weverse interview. I mean "to be a giant pop star" is his "big goal"; his words, not mine. So damn shallow, and idk, it sounds so arrogant to me. The guy can at least be a little subtle or humble. But maybe it's a good thing that he's admitting that now because people will see what his mindset is like. People will realize who he really is, and those who have projected high expectations on him will have to lower them now.

I'm not hating on him and I don't have to encourage people to be disappointed with him; he's already doing that himself. It's his "instinct", after all.

I'm done with him dude. I don't even know what more I could say to explain my recent dislike towards him.

He's just turned complete 360°. Earlier I used to think that jimin and jungkook are the most humble ones in the group.

But jungkook has changed so much and not in a good way. It's like I don't wanna see him at all. I know it's me projecting, but seeing him near jimin doesn't make me feel good. Like stay away from him please. But goddamn jimin doesn't seem to have a problem with him.

I wonder if everyone else is seeing his new found arrogance too. And what's even more disgusting is that he knows that all his success is fraud and he knows that no matter how much trash music he releases, papa scooter and bang pd will pay to take him to the top anyway.

It's infuriating to see a real talent and true artist like jimin being pushed at the back and jungkook's basic ass being promoted so fucking much. Like jk just proved to me he doesn't have a personality of his own. He doesn't care if he's not giving his fans his all, he don't care if he's not giving them good music because he knows they'll pretend to like whatever trash he puts out anyway.

All he wants is validation. That he is bigger and better than others. I'm sure he wouldn't have thought about hot100 if jimin didn't achieve it. Like absolutely pathetic. He just wants people to call him sexy, popular and what not. He is shallow and superficial and has no artistic creativity

I will be so mad if people doesn't see what's actually happening here. I don't want people to ignore it. Like please call him out.

I know it's a bit harsh. But idc. If people don't like it then they can go somewhere else. Idc if you call me a hater. But it's my blog and I'm free to share my opinion that I've started to really dislike jungkook. He's annoying the hell out of me.

I'm just saying that I'm not gonna give a single view to any of his content. So if you wanna talk about something that he said during promotion please give me link, time stamp and context. Cause I'm not watching a single video of that man.

It's crazy how I've started disliking him in a matter of days. Maybe it's the same way he has changed for the worst in a matter of days too.

[midnightpillsnacking]

[Loulou*di S3V4 L 3-17] Hana-Doll 3rd Season THINK OF ME:DEJA VU Translation

Translation below the cut. Google Drive link | Listen to the album on Spotify

Rui: Toki-bou.

Toki: Ageha-san, Rui-san, good morning.

Ageha: Ah, good morning, Toki. Did you hear from the medical team?

Toki: Yes. The medical staff will be coming along just in case.But I think it’s a bit much, since we’re only gonna promote one song for the music program. … Rui-san, is there something on my face?

Rui: No, you look fine. Are you sure that you’ll be alright?

Toki: I’m in tip-top condition! I apologize for being an inconvenience while I was taking a break.

Ageha: Toki. When you return, give a performance befitting of Loulou*di. As long as you can do that, then there’s no inconvenience at all.

Toki: Ageha-san…! Yes, I will. I’ll give a perfect performance!

-

(Audience cheering.)

Host: Presenting the ones who gave us that outstanding performance, Loulou*di! Please give them all a warm welcome!

Ageha: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and to Loumiels.

Host: That was a flawless performance, backed with such incredible vocals and choreography. It was amazing!

Ageha: Thank you very much. It would be an honor for us to leave an impression on everyone’s hearts, even if it’s just for a short moment.

Host: The positions of the cameras to the compositions were all Loulou*di’s ideas, right?

Ageha: Yes. We worked closely with the staff to ensure that we would be able to effectively convey our appeal.

Host: After the replay, you’ll be announcing the track list, right? As well as your new music channel.

Ageha: We wish to bring our voices and performances to the many people who have been waiting for Loulou*di, and we also want to broaden the scope of our activities.

Toki: And as a new member, I would love to have more chances to show off my charm!

Host: So what you mean is that the new Loulou*di cherishes their fans and wants to continue to maintain the high quality for them?

Ageha: We are not ‘maintaining’ the quality. Our goal is somewhere higher, above the unshakeable heavens. Right now, we are still working towards it.

Host: This level is still a work-in-progress? If that’s the case, then your junior unit Anthos* has got their work cut out for them!

Ageha: !! Anthos*, you say?

Host: If they see their senior Loulou*di as a goal, then they would surely be able to reach their full potential, don’t you think? Not just with the Dream Jam Festa, but they would also be able to challenge themselves with various genres as they try to keep up. Ah, but with the new release rankings, Anthos* is more–

Ageha: The production of the performance earlier has been synced with many parts of the new music video that has just recently been released. We hope that with it, you would be able to experience Loulou*di’s worldview.

Host: Eh? A-ah, yes, you’re right! Could you share with us your intentions of doing so?

Ageha: Gladly. For example, right before the hook, that is, the lead-up to it, there is a part in question…

-

Toki: It’s been a while since I last worked with both of you, doing work for Loulou*di. It was super fun!

Rui: I see.

Toki: Ageha-san, Rui-san, did you see? The costars and the staff and the audience were all taken in by our performance. Their mouths were wide open the whole time! (giggles) Gaping just like fish!

Ageha: (sighs)

Toki: Huh? Ageha-san, the green room isn't that way.

Ageha: Head back first.

Rui: Ageha, where are you going?

Ageha: That’s none of your concern.

Rui: …

Ageha: Take Toki and return to the green room. Now.

Rui: Understood.

-

Ageha: (winces in pain) Shit… what a disappointment… just this much and already…

Rui: Ageha.

Ageha: Rui. You ended up coming with.

Rui: If anything, I didn’t feel like calling out to you.

Ageha: Damned mongrel that can’t even heed its owner’s orders. I told you… to take Toki back to the green room.

Rui: Toki-bou is in the green room. There’s no need to worry.

Ageha: ‘Worry’?

Rui: You don’t look well. You’re sweating a lot.

Ageha: Don’t touch me! Since the start, I believe I’ve been telling you… to stop concerning yourself over me…

Rui: I’m not concerned about you. I’m simply being realistic. (opens the interface on his ring)

Ageha: Hey, what do you think you’re doing?

Rui: I’m calling the medical staff over.

Ageha: What?

Rui: The staff that came with Toki-bou are in the green room. They will surely rush over if we contact them.

Ageha: Stop that! (groans in pain)

Rui: Ageha.

Ageha: … Quit doing things that are unnecessary.

Rui: Calm down. I’ll make you feel better soon–

Ageha: I told you not to touch me!

Rui: Breathe slowly. It will be more painful if you struggle.

Ageha: Shut up… Just leave me alone…!

Rui: …

Ageha: Hey!

Rui: I can’t undo your buttons if you keep moving. 

Ageha: (struggles)

Rui: Ageha.

Ageha: Do you have any idea… how humiliated I am to let you see me like this?!

Rui: Ageha. What do you wish for?

Ageha: What?

Rui: If you would let me, I will grant whatever wish you have. I’ve always watched you, so if it were up to me…

Ageha: Don’t fuck with me. That’s a horrible sick joke!

Rui: Ageha…

Ageha: I–urgh…

Rui: Earlier, you said that you were disappointed in yourself. You put your utmost faith in yourself and carry on despite being bogged by pain. Ageha, you cling so desperately onto life. And to be as such, you are more beautiful than anyone else in the world.

Ageha: Rui, let go of me…!

Rui: Save your pity. You’re putting more unnecessary strain on yourself.

Ageha: Stop talking nonsense! Like I’d ever want your help!

Rui: You won’t know when that will change. Trust me, and try to catch your breath. You’ll feel better soon.

Ageha: …

Rui: Even as Ageha suffers, he’s still a noble, unyielding man in my eyes. However, he’s ardent, and the driving force that keeps him going is… It’s not me. It’s always Yuuki Mahiro, Chihiro, or… President Amagiri. No matter if there’s no other that’s the most like Ageha like myself, no matter how much I understand him, no matter if I give myself to Loulou*di as fodder to scale to the top, I can’t become the reason for Ageha’s will. It’s not me. Not now, not ever. Just what am I… thinking about now?

-

Ageha: Rui… hey, Rui!

Rui: … Ageha.

Ageha: What are you spacing out for? That’s enough. Let go of me.

Rui: But you’re still–

Ageha: Try adding displeasure and discomfort and see what you get!

Rui: Your resolve doesn’t waver even as you tremble.

Ageha: What did you say…?

Rui: No, it’s nothing.

Ageha: … Let’s get moving. We can’t leave Toki alone.

-

Ageha: Seems like the green room is plenty lively.

Rui: The medical staff… What are they doing?

Staff Member A: Ah, you two. Thank you for your hard work today.

Ageha: Is Toki asleep? It looks like he’s not conscious.

Staff Member A: It’s been some time since he’s been at work. All the medical staff are planning an examination for him.

Rui: Toki-bou said that he felt that his condition was perfect.

Staff Member A: There’s nothing to worry about. He’d probably return to the dorm in two to three days. You there, quickly take Sakurai Toki to the car.

(The staff members carry Toki out of the room.)

Staff Member A: With that, we’ll excuse ourselves. Once both of you are ready, please return to the dorm. We’ll prepare for a car to pick you up at the exit.

Rui: Understood.

Ageha: Doctor, I believe I’ve said this before. If you do something to Toki, to Loulou*di… you understand what will happen, right?

Staff Member A: …

Ageha: Please… take good care of Toki.

-

Rui: Ageha. Is there something on your mind?

Ageha: Rui. Not a word from you.

Rui: But–

Ageha: I said keep your trap shut. It’s annoying.

Rui: Alright. I won’t say anything until we reach the dorm. I don’t wish to agitate you.

Ageha: We’re not going back to the dorm yet.

Rui: Where are we headed to?

Ageha: To somewhere where I have something I must do. (enters something in the interface)

Rui: Amagiri Production?

Ageha: That’s right. We’re headed to where he is.

[sabrinatvband]

A Comprehensive List of Essential Comic Making Resources

It's very easy to get surface-level information about the art of making comics. But if you want the real shit, some curation will help. Some of these are neat informative images. Others are books that you'll have to find yourself. There will be some links to videos. Let's get into it.

[Link to a WordPress version of this post so you can share with your friends who don't use Tumblr]

ESSENTIAL BOOKS

There are enough books by professional, highly regarded comic artists and writers out there that you never need to buy a "How To" book by someone without industry experience; something to keep in mind.

Making Comics by Scott McCloud Scott McCloud is maybe a little too afraid of making definitive statements, but otherwise this is an incredible macro-level overview on the subject of making comics. Understanding Comics is also essential; Reinventing Comics is more of a time capsule. Perspective for Comic Book Artists by David Chelsea A comic artist who doesn't know perspective is like a guitarist who can't do alternate picking. This book, which is itself a comic, is a very effective resource on the subject of perspective. I made a short video about a cool trick from this book that they don't teach in art class:

This book has a sequel, Extreme Perspective for Artists, which is good at being what it is, but the advice is a lot less widely applicable. Framed Perspective Vol. 1 and 2 by Marcos Mateu-Mestre Going to be honest, these books are mostly redundant if you've already read the [imo] superior David Chelsea book, but they aren't bad books in isolation and if you get the perspective sickness like I did you'll probably want to read them anyways.

Figure Drawing for All It's Worth by Andrew Loomis Andrew Loomis wrote a bunch of highly regarded illustration books, but this one is my favorite. It has a lot of great practical advice related to drawing figures in perspective together, which begin with the iconic "John and Mary Problems". Here's another essential Loomis diagram:

Drawing Scenery: Landscapes and Seascapes by Jack Hamm I really need to re-read this one, and take it seriously this time, because my rocks look like shit. The other Jack Hamm books [Cartooning the Head & Figure, Drawing the Head & Figure] are also good. Writing for Comics by Alan Moore This is a very brief book, and it's maybe not super revelatory, but none of the advice within is bad. Writing for Comics & Graphic Novels by Peter David Nothing groundbreaking here either, but also not a book that will teach you wrong lessons. PROTIP Remember that any books about writing craft will be applicable to writing comics in many ways; books about writing comics specifically might have a few specialized tidbits, but 90% of writing advice transfers across mediums. Chuck Palahniuk wrote a series of essays on writing that I really enjoy that are floating around in a PDF somewhere; I'm not sure if that PDF turned into Consider This. Eclipse Tips from Top Cartoonists by Various This book is long out-of-print and rare, but you can see a flip-through of the book here. There's a lot of great stuff in it, but the most essential part is probably Scott McCloud's bit. [PROTIP: Using an upscaler on a screenshot of a book can make small text a lot more legible; the image below was upscaled.]

Will Eisner Books by Will Eisner I'm going to be honest, I once read Comics and Sequential Art and found a lot of the information within to be very pointless musings about things [e.g. "What if I drew some panels over a skeuomorphic drawing of a comicbook?"]. But Eisner's books are held in high regard by a lot of people, and obviously he was a talented cartoonist. Maybe I read his worst book on the subject. How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way by John Buscema Read this historically significant book, absorb the four or five nuggets contained within, and take everything else with a grain of salt.

Morpho Art Books by Michel Lauricella I find these art reference books a lot more useful than equivalent resources. A lot of comic artists could definitely benefit from reading Fat and Skin Folds; it's not always about muscles! How to Draw: The Best of Basic Training by Various Wizard Magazine used to have a feature called Basic Training where various comic artists would give tips on how to draw. A lot of these tutorials were perhaps too short to be good, and some of the gross ones reek of an assumption that women won't be reading them [see: Sultry Women by Adam Hughes], but there were some real gems in there. Artists such as Joe Kubert, George Perez, Kevin Maguire, Scott McCloud, Steve Lieber, Mike Mignola, and Brian Bolland contributed. The image below is from a piece on drawing realistic women by Terry Moore.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Creating a Graphic Novel by Nat Gertlet and Steve Lieber I've never personally read this book, but Eisner-winning Steve Lieber is a highly respected cartoonist and Gertler had been Eisner-nominated before writing this book. I imagine it's a solid resource. How Comics Work by Dave Gibbons and Tim Pilcher Another book I haven't personally read, but obviously Dave Gibbons is a master of the medium. Frank Santoro wrote a mixed review about this book for The Comics Journal. Words for Pictures by Brian Michael Bendis I remember flipping through this for a while in a Barnes & Noble and thinking it was entertaining. The Art of Comic Book Writing by Mark Kneece Kneece doesn't have a very substantial bibliography as a comics writer, but this book is highly regarded by many people. The DC Comics Guide to . . . by Various DC made a whole series of books related to various facets of comics craft. I haven't read most of these myself, but they're all well-regarded and were written by top talents such as Dennis O'Neil and Klaus Janson. The only one I have read is The DC Comics Guide to Digitally Drawing Comics; solid book, implies good things about the other books in the series, but this specific volume is only really worthwhile if you use Photoshop. The Art of Comic Book Inking Third Edition by Gary Martin et al I've never read the third edition, but I have seen the first edition and that was a good book in itself, with the subsequent editions being more highly regarded. The third edition features contributions from a murderers' row of comics professionals: Terry Dodson, Adam Warren, Brian Bolland, Kevin Nowlan, Mike Royer, and many others.

ESSENTIAL BLOG POSTS AND SUCH

Jesse Hamm's Writings on Alex Toth I can't tell you how many times I read Jesse Hamm's LiveJournal posts about Alex Toth [and a handful of other artists] during class in highschool. Unfortunately a lot of the images are now broken, and so you'll need to pull out the Wayback Machine to make sense of some of these. Don Simpson on King Kong Don Simpson, across his various blogs, has made a lot of neat process posts, but these two posts about his King Kong comic are probably his most essential. Rough Riders: Kong Art from Concept to Finish First Kingdom: Kong Thumbnails from 1990 Shit I Wish Scott McCloud Told Me This old Tumblr has been ravaged by time; the formatting has been ruined after years without updates and inactivity, and much of the advice was written by people without credibility [cough]. But there were some real nuggets here. Jim Shooter on Comics Craft There's a website that compiles Jim Shooter's opinions on various facets of comic craft. Shooter was mostly known for being an editor, but he did write and layout some highly regarded comics in his time. Probably worth watching these videos as a companion piece of sorts, especially if you're not familiar with Shooter's ethos. Kelly Turnbull Tutorials The most useful tutorial is Let's Draw Abs, but you might find some use in the other ones. Matt Fraction on Daredevil: Born Again The triangle stuff here sounds made up, but apparently it was intentional. The Schweizer Guide to Spotting Tangents You're going to want to avoid tangents, which can make pictures look visually confusing. Jim Rugg's Octobriana 1976 Process Zine This PDF costs $5, but it's worth it to see over 300 pages of sketches, breakdowns, insights, etc.

THE BEST CARTOONIST KAYFABE EPISODES

I do realize that Cartoonist Kayfabe was a divisive Youtube channel; if you'd like to hear more of my thoughts you can read an article I wrote about the channel on my blog here. In short, I think Cartoonist Kayfabe was one of the greatest educational resources on comics craft. Here are the videos from the channel I found the most educational:

Thumbnails, Layouts, and Roughs Dark Knight Returns Original Artwork Watching the Watchmen The Charlton Comicbook Guide for the Artist / Writer / Letterer Frank Miller's Conversation With Will Eisner Templates for Faster Comic Making The Killing Joke Brian Bolland Layouts How to Draw Comics the Bill Griffith Way How to Ink Comic Books Absolute Batman: Year One Famous Artists Course: Composition Full Make More Comics Playlist

OTHER NEAT YOUTUBE THINGS

Helioscope PDX Helioscope PDX is a large studio in Portland shared by many cartoonists, and they have some neat videos. Terry Moore's Youtube Channel The guy who wrote and illustrated Strangers in Paradise has a Youtube channel where he posts neat, often wholesome videos. Strange Brain Parts Not actually a channel about making comics, but as far as analysis goes Strange Brain Parts is the best comics channel on Youtube. Neat!

COMICS WITH PEAK CRAFT

This list is obviously far from being exhaustive, but I think all of these comics are at least a 9/10 on a craft level, if not also a dramatic level.

OMAC by Jack Kirby A lot of Jack Kirby's 70s books with Mike Royer and D. Bruce Berry on inks are really impressive visually, but what makes me recommend OMAC so often is that it's only eight issues long. There's an incredible panel in issue 2 where OMAC is standing outside of a door and listening to a conversation, and it has an amazing foreground-background element. One of my all-time favorite panels.

By the 70s, almost every panel Kirby illustrated was a masterpiece. So many incredible compositions designed to guide the eye in a circular motion; check out this late-period composition from Captain Victory, which not only guides the eye in a circle but also has a lot of depth.

The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller The 16-panel grid this book uses is masterful; really absorbs the reader into the world and creates a special, often intimate atmosphere. Weapon X by Barry Windsor Smith The compositions, atmosphere, pacing, etc in Weapon X are perfect.

Born Again by Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli At least as good as Batman: Year One on a craft level, but also a more entertaining story.

Sim Hell and Fatal but Not Serious by Adam Warren These comics are very effective at creating a sense of space, and also the lettering in these books is incredible. I wrote an entire article extolling the formalism of these books.

Wonder Woman: Earth One by Grant Morrison and Yanick Paquette If you want to see what modern 3D-model assisted fastidious comics craft looks like, check out this book!

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons Do I need to say anything?

ODDS AND ENDS

Wally Wood's 22 Panels That Always Work Wally Wood made a reference sheet detailing 22 visually interesting panels to help him work through dialogue scenes and meet deadlines, and it wasn't long before every working comic artist had a copy of it taped to a corner of their drafting table. Here's the original, as well as a visually cleaner remake by Michael Avon Oeming.

Jim Steranko's The Laws of Action Solid advice on how to liven up figure drawings.

Alan Moore on Word Counts Moore recounting a guideline from editor Mort Weisinger: What he said was: if you’ve got six panels on a page, then the maximum number of words you should have in each panel is 35. No more. That’s the maximum. 35 words per panel. Also, if a balloon has more than 20 or 25 words in it, it’s going to look too big. 25 words is the absolute maximum for ballon size. Right, once you’ve taken on those two simple rules, laying out comics pages — it gives you somewhere to start — you sort of know ‘OK, so six panels, 35 words to a panel, that means about 210 words per page maximum… [so] if you’ve got two panels you’d have 105 each. If you’ve got nine panels, it’s about 23 – 24 words — that’ll be about the right balance of words and pictures. On the subject of drawing stuff digitally; -Krita is a highly regarded piece of open source software. I personally use Medibang Paint Pro, but I wish I didn't, because Krita has a lot of useful features. I'm unfortunately too used to the way Medibang feels. Clip Studio Paint is a popular paid piece of software that's still quite affordable. -I own a Cintiq and Intuos [drawing tablet with screen, drawing tablet without screen]. Granted I've only used my Cintiq a handful of times because my computer doesn't have enough video outputs, but I actually find that I enjoy the Intuos a lot more; a computer monitor is generally going to be a more pleasurable screen to look at than a Cintiq screen, you don't need to worry about your hand covering or touching things accidentally, and for most people it will be more ergonomic. It also doesn't take up as much space and it's a lot more portable with a laptop. Oh, and it's way cheaper. Remember that art tablets use drivers; it's my understanding that a computer can't have, say, Huion and Wacom drivers installed at the same time. So, if you're planning on getting a screenless drawing tablet and upgrading to one with a built-in screen [not something I recommend for the reasons I've established], consider the driver situation, because you'll probably want to be able to use both at different times, and also probably won't want to regularly uninstall and reinstall drivers. Carapace There's a free piece of software called Carapace that can be used to create perspective grids from photographs. A download link can be found in the description of this video.

Using Blender A lot of modern comic artists use 3D software to position complex items for tracing purposes [e.g. spaceships, cars, etc]. Blender can also be used to build locations you'll revisit a lot , and the grease pencil tool can be used to place skeletons within a space to stage complicated scenes while maintaining perspective. As you can see below, checkerboard textures can be applied to objects to try and make it easier to make sense of perspective

A thing I was working on for a one-page dungeon Blue-Line Pencils You should buy some non-photo blue pencils if you don't already have them. They're designed to be visually unobtrusive, which makes them great for drawing perspective grids and skeletons, and the color is designed to be easily filtered out of scans. They can also be erased.

EPILOGUE

I've been reading about making comics for over a decade, and I think this post more-or-less contains everything worthwhile I've seen on the subject. Remember that the most important thing is actually sitting down and practicing your craft. I do have one big thought relating to comic craft philosophy; a lot of people really love heavily premeditated comics by guys like Dave Gibbons, Frank Miller, David Mazzucchelli, etc, but they also want to make as few iterations as possible and / or draw directly onto the board. I'm a firm believer that the only way someone can really create a book like The Dark Knight Returns or Watchmen is by creating a lot of concept art, illustrating detailed layouts, making a lot of notes, etc. You have to adopt the same seemingly impossible working methods that these artists used in order to get a similar end result, or at least I think so. If you can't get anything finished while using such working methods, that's a workflow issue, and there's nothing wrong with that. Jack Kirby did everything improv and he was one of the greatest comic artists ever. But I do think studying and emulating the ways people made great comics, while taking into account advancements in tech, is very important.

[leonsliga]

Nothing makes sense about the awards.

If it's about last year then jamal should've won it.

If it's about the instant impact in the new season then jamal should've won it last year.

If it's about instant impact and recency bias then might as well have given the balon dor to Guirassy for taking a relegation team to the top of the table.

AND THEN TO MAKE HIM SEND A VIDEO MESSAGE CONGRATULATING HIM ON THE ROBBERY. wtf ?

Clearly in that video Jude knows he stole it. You can tell he knows that it was fucked up.

If we lose jamal over this... goodness.

It's not even marketing. It's just a fucked up agenda. No matter what we do, they'll never give it to our players. Ever.

Tbh, I think I’m in a weird spot on this one; I’m a fan of them both 😅 my personal opinion is that Jamal should’ve won it, but I’m proud of Jude. I agree with you though; if it’s about last season’s performance, the Kopa Trophy should’ve gone to Jamal. That said, I don’t wanna discredit Jude’s tremendous achievements at all; he’s been explosive at Real Madrid from the moment he signed for us (I’m a madridista too, sorry 😵). Both have been absolutely revolutionary at their respective clubs. So I recognize that it’s a lot easier for me; I was gonna be satisfied no matter which of the two won :)

Still, like you pointed out, that video (linked here) can’t have been easy for Jamal to record. Honestly, it was probably a little uncomfortable on both sides: for Jamal because he was feeling that bittersweetness of coming second to a friend, and Jude because he probably didn’t know exactly how to react or what to say, considering he’d won and Jamal hadn’t. I think it helps that they’re close friends off the pitch and that they were roommates back when Jamal was still with the England NT. I imagine it makes accepting the title of runner-up a little easier to swallow when you lost out to a friend.

The good news? I don’t think we’ll lose Jamal over this. I don’t see why we would. He’s growing and flourishing at Bayern, learning from the best of the best. He’s got a found family in that team that does everything in their power to look out for him and encourage his development as a player and as a person. Why would he want to leave all that behind, ya know?

I think our Bayern players deserve a lot more credit than they get though. Oftentimes, people assume (mistakenly of course) that just because Bayern has dominated the Bundesliga in recent memory that it’s not a difficult league, but what they don’t understand is that that dominance has to come from somewhere. You need talent, but beyond that, you need a team. Bayern has both and more.

[theelusivepoetalien]

Okay so it's a great day to go see if something like Khan Academy or other freebie learning zone has a Computer Networking 101. Turns out KhanAcademy.org is still free for now. I'm sure it mines the hell out of your data like anything else. I use one of my like 10 google logins. Did you know you didn't used to have a phone number to get a gmail address? There are still some e-mail services that don't require phone numbers, though they have different limitations and uses. Becoming a suite was quite another magnitude for a login. Anyway, someone tag me if we need the article on Other Email Services. https://www.geeksforgeeks.org/basics-computer-networking/ ^This doesn't require a log in. I'm probably going to try to find a couple amusing videos. Like probably from youtube, unless I can find something on vimeo or the fediverse. A lot of this is learning how the internet goes. It teaches The Names and Commands of The Internet. Sort of like programing languages like C(++++?) and Python are Vocabulary and Grammar for Taming Your Processor. I'll reblog with more related links as I add to my Updated Study Library. My current aims include: > getting competent in basic LAN and internetwork administration > continuing to munch on html and CSS -- //Every time I get used to a service, it disappears or monetizes out of my budget or fills up with ads until it stops working.// I think I can make an ugly tack board and file server for my household. Also it's really satisfying -- like painting with puzzle pieces. > web hosting so there is somewhere to put it > uh taking screenshots and making posts about better net navigation and building skills to improve awareness? And of course: https://www.myabandonware.com/browse/theme/typing-29/ A bunch of typing games so old that no one cares. If you're willing to go with lowtech graphics to skip modern spyware and webtracking, it's honestly a fun little ride. Learning to type physical conditioning. However you make 15-30 minutes almost every day good and fun for yourself. (Sometimes 2d alien fun for points is enough, ya?) Yeah, those are for windows. Most macintosh users these days can maybe blow a few currency on a indie app, eh? Linux users -- you already know how to use freeware and honestly I'm not expecting to be read by a lot of linux users on this thread. (@ me for linux introductions ig too) Android? Basically in the same app boat as mac... Shout up for android power user info, like sideloading but... I haven't been browsing the indie APKs or the flash community in ages.

And uh, get a keyboard. bluetooth is fine for a while and better for someone trying to start this kind of project on a phone or a tablet. If someone is sticking to typing games for a few weeks or several, it might be worth considering getting a corded keyboard -- Anyone who is topping over 45wpm and heading for 60+ will find that bluetooth keyboards may not keep up with that leveled up meat input. (I can type around 90wpm or so when I'm on a roll and get frustrated pretty quickly.) Most Importantly: SAVE YOUR PROGRESS (u matter), & Look It Up before you Give It Up.

another thought about "gen z and gen alpha don't know how to use computers, just phone apps" is that this is intentionally the direction tech companies have pushed things in, they don't want users to understand anything about the underlying system, they want you to just buy a subscription to a thing and if it doesn't do what you need it to, you just upgrade to the more expensive one. users who look at configuration files are their worst nightmare

[ask-the-crimson-king]

Music Shill of the Day: Bloodlines by Pyramaze

NEW PYRAMAZE LADS! I'll be going over my thoughts on each song + an album final thoughts at the end.

Rating system as per usual: 10: PERFECTION, zero complaints, best song. 5: Average. Whelming. Nothing to write home about. 1: Awful. Why did they make this?

Due to not wanting this post to be longer than it already will be, I'll only be including embedded videos for the top 3; I have a link for the various platforms you can stream the album in full here.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, we begin with...

BLOODLINES: 7/10

Similar to Disciples of the Sun and Epitaph, this album opens with a completely instrumental track. I will say, I do like this track, it sounds very nice and, after having gone through the album a few times, it does encompass a lot of the emotional themes that are present for the album as a whole. It definitely has a cinematic feel, almost something like Two Steps From Hell, but without the massive orchestral sound to it. It's a very pleasant track to listen to, the ethereal singing in the background meshes perfectly with the building instrumental elements. The inclusion of guitar is also very welcomed and not to jarring.

The only thing I wish this track did was have a bit more of a lead-in to the next song, but instead it ends off as it's own piece and I can definitely appreciate that. It breaks a bit of a trend I've been seeing in the musical spheres I've occupied -- see Gloryhammer, Kamelot, or arguably even Pyramaze's last album Epitaph. So for that it's definitely got my respect and I do enjoy the track.

2. TAKING WHAT'S MINE: 9/10

BANGER. Banger. Banger.

This song definitely has a more pop-ish influence on it but it's genuinely good despite that. It still definitely feels like a grounded and wonderful symphonic metal track. The guitars still carry this very heavy feel even while the instrumental elements give the piece a bit of a lighter tone throughout.

The vocals are fantastic, and they don't feel as though they're the only reason you're listening to the song. They fit well with the rest of the track, they're not too loud nor too quiet, it's perfectly balanced.

The symphonic break at about 3 minutes in? While it's short (literally only a few seconds), I LOVE it to pieces. The piano and strings highlight the sort of triumphant and yet melancholic feel that permeates through the song. It's very good.

Song good. My only complaint is that the song feels kinda shortened somehow? I'm not entirely sure why, but it feels like it could definitely have tacked on another minute and sounded a bit more complete.

3. FORTRESS: 8.5/10

Another banger, and if I remember correctly this was their second single for the record. And MAN did it get me hyped for this album.

It's music video has a sea-faring feel to it which is... genuinely interesting. I don't know why they went in that direction (there might be an interview somewhere with the lads to explain why that I haven't seen) and lyrically I don't really connect it to a story about an old lighthouse keeper, but it's still cool, and the instrumentals do reflect this. There's a few elements of a more sea-like ambience scattered throughout.

Despite the lyrics kinda being at odds with the narrative they told through their music video, this song is still really great. I loved it since it first dropped. It's definitely leaning a bit more heavily on its symphonic bits than Taking What's Mine, as the guitar sometimes does get a bit overshadowed and outshone by them, but I don't think this is a bad aspect. I do enjoy me some nice symphonic in my symphonic metal, after all. But that would be one of my few nitpicks. There is a bit also where there could have been a solo or something but with how the guitars are handled in general I do think it'd clash a bit too harshly with the song.

Still, Fortress good. Has been for a minute. Still is.

4. BROKEN ARROW: 6/10

This was their FIRST single off this new record, and it's good. This has a similar feel to it in terms of how the instrumentals are handled; there's a lot more emphasis on the symphonic parts and I feel like the keyboard shines a bit more in the song here. The guitars mainly are here to carry rhythm then stand out on their own.

It's good, it's catchy, it's nice. Nothing to really write home about.

5. EVEN IF YOU'RE GONE: 7/10

DAMN this feels like Particle 2. And I really loved Particle off Epitaph, so I enjoy this. The keyboard hard CARRIES this song, it's beautiful and soft and sits right behind the vocals and it's wonderful. Again, this is not a song you're coming to for the guitars; they're here, but more for rhythm. It's partially why I call it Particle 2.

The vocals are also very good and very nice. The variance is nice, and the lyrics are... Something. I can't tell if this is a pining song or if this is borderline "I love someone who committed suicide" or potentially a strange "I want someone even though they didn't want me". To show what I mean, take some lyrics:

Lost in the fire Burning my skin like you warned me Breaking the walls you build to avoid all the pain outside

Will you finally be my destiny?

I see the light here I know that you don't But I wanna be the one you really want Through the nightmares we're chasing the dawn I'll be fighting for you even if you're gone Even if you're gone

[. . .]

Save me from myself I try to let go Take my pain away Away Save me from myself I can't breathe

It's kinda back and forth, which is neat cause it means there's a few different ways these lyrics can be interpreted. But overall, the song is still good.

6. ALLIANCE: 5/10

I'm gonna be honest, I'm not a ballad guy. The song is objectively good, but it's not for me. Here is probably the objectively best piano on the album, and the duet with Melissa Bonny is very nice. The vocals are good, the instrumentals are good, the song is fine. It kinda feels like Under Grey Skies by Kamelot. Kinda.

It's not a bad song, but it's just not what I enjoy too much.

7. THE MIDNIGHT SUN: 9.5/10

And we're RIGHT BACK into the action again with the Midnight Sun. WHAT A BANGER of a song, and what a wake-up call from Alliance. The guitars are BACK, they're at the forefront again and every element of the band is absolutely on display. Where the mid was a bit muddled through with a LOT of symphonic stuff taking a bit of center stage, now we got a bit of a more metal feel.

This song is still along the lines of a ballad in terms of the vocals, which is contrasted by some of the heavier riffs accompanying them in the best way possible. There's plenty of places for the guitars to shine, the piano is still easily heard in the back even with the symphonic elements around it. Song is GOOD.

The lyrical content is also low key trans coded, happy pride. Mainly this bit:

I was the son you never had But how come everything turned bad? After the rain had washed your sorrows away You took a new position Without my permission

[. . .]

Look at the ways of the world now It's a race of alarming it somehow And the further we get from the truth The sacrifice of innocent youths

Are we all but puppets at dance? A bittersweet, egotistical romance Built upon the remainders of trash Self-imploding as we crash

Am I absolutely inserting meaning here that doesn't exist? Yes. However. I am trans and this is my agenda.

Happy pride lads. Excellent song.

8. STOP THE BLEEDING: 8/10

The entirety of the back half of this album is definitely softer and more melodic feeling in contrast to the first, and it's a good thing. It makes for a very pleasant listening experience. Stop the Bleeding is a bit slower and less punchy than Midnight Sun, but I still rate it very highly.

While the guitars throughout most of the song are back to being a backbone rather than more of their own beast, there is a nice solo that lets them shine a bit more, which is nice. The instrumentals here are way more symphonic and orchestral in sound; there's a lot of very evident strings in the back, and the piano is still there highlighting the song. The vocals take a bit of the center stage during the verses but for the chorus, especially the last one? It all blends together beautifully. It's wonderful. Very good.

I compare this to Taking What's Mine and I say that this almost has the feel of that song but if it were allowed that extra minute. It's a very nice listening experience, and a good song in general.

9. THE MYSTERY: 7/10

I never thought I'd say a song is "adorable" but this song is legitimately adorable. It has a feel of whimsy throughout and it's a very delightful and joyous song. The lyrical content concerns our narrator just wondering about the worlds beyond Earth in the stars, wondering about what they may see, and wondering about the big "mystery".

The big "mystery", of course, is why humanity is here. What the purpose of life is. For a song tackling such a subject, I love that it feels so... I hesitate to say childlike, but it is a fitting descriptor. It's bright, where many other songs I've heard that tackles this existential question are usually very somber or reflective or even melancholic in sound. It's refreshing and it's inspiring. It's a very nice song.

10. WOLVES OF THE SEA: 7.5/10

ROUNDING IT OFF WITH ANOTHER INSTRUMENTAL PIECE. Which was a little surprising on a first listen through.

This piece is a HARD contrast to The Mystery, where it takes on the more solemn tones found everywhere in the album. This is also definitely more Two Steps from Hell than Bloodlines is, and it's good for it. Because while it definitely has that more drab and melancholic feel at the beginning, it does transition into this more hopeful and inspiring sound. It generally basically feels like all the musical themes of the album are brought together and rounded out in a really good orchestral track.

There's a couple of small leitmotifs sprinkled within to make it that much more whole and complete. It's a very nice way to end off the album.

OVERALL FEELINGS:

Bloodlines is a great album. It feels like it has something for everyone who is into the more proggy/symphonic side of metal. If you enjoyed Epitaph and Disciples of the Sun, you'll probably like this album too. It's very enjoyable to listen to and it's pretty short, only clocking in at 44 minutes. It's very good, and if you've never heard Pyramaze before, PLEASE check them out.

I will say, I do think I enjoy Epitaph just a bit more, purely due to The Time Traveller, Particle, and its title track, Epitaph. But this album is still not a bad introduction for newcomers, and it's a good new step in their catalog.

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

Junkyu “Boyfriend Headcanons”

Hyunsuk // Jihoon // Yoshi // Junkyu // Mashiho // Jaehyuk // Asahi // Yedam // Doyoung // Haruto // Jeongwoo // Junghwan //    

- ah this boy

- i thought he was my bias in Treasure at first

- and while I’ve drifted away 

- I still hold him near and dear to my heart

- that goofy smile alone is enough to give me butterflies

- He would like someone similar to himself

- someone who isn’t afraid to be a little lazy 

- But when they commit to something

- they go all the way

- maybe someone a little quiet

- with a good sense of timing

- knows when to be funny 

- and when to be serious 

- For the first date 

- somewhere fun for sure

- you where he went with Asahi with the ball pits and vr room 

- (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, here is the link to that video) 

- something like that

- something active and just very fun

- but also something familiar to him 

- because he’s nervous and wants some familiar ground for himself

- it also totally shows that he’s nervous

- has a hard time smiling in the beginning of the date 

- all because of the nerves

- But the more you guys get into it

- the more comfy he gets 

- He won’t try and show off

- he’ll just love to play with you 

- and have fun 

- truly the date isn’t really romantic 

- but more to see how you guys vibe with eachother

- the romantic stuff will come later

- now you’re just pre-occupied trying to beat his score in beatsaber

- he won’t try and show off

- and won’t go out of his way to touch you 

- but he does make the cheekiest of comments

- to get you flustered

- he thinks it’s fun

- uses this to his advantage to win 

- After running around

- you guys will relax, have tea or coffee

- chat a little and it’s simply very comfortable

- for a first date it feels more like friends hanging out

- which is really nice

- it takes some of the pressure off

- that being said he probably wouldn’t kiss you first date

- Second date, yes totally 

- but first date no

- he’d definitely give you the biggest hug ever

- and a lot of hand holding 

- but on the second date he definitely goes in for the kiss

- and it’s a little awkward because he keeps smiling out of nerves

- and his hands are a little clammy 

-  but its very soft and sweet

- makes you laugh half way through

- but that makes it so entirely memorable

- Kisses from that point on are always that goofy 

- and silly

- Junkyu always tries to make you giggle when he gives you affection

- though he does have moments where he takes it seriously

- he just thinks it’s more fun to tickle over your face

- kiss you all over your face

- rub his nose on you 

- he’s more affectionate in a joking way 

- but those times that he is serious 

- he’s very sweet

- very fond of just hugging you 

- burrying his face into your neck 

- kissing either the top of your head or your forehead

- it’s his favorite way of showing you affection 

- Like all of Treasure he really likes to cuddle too

- especially on those lazy days 

- wearing big hoodies and sweatpants

- laying on top of you

- with his hands under your hoodie to touch your skin 

- or maybe he’s even holding your hands

- playing with them

- cuddling he doesn’t mind doing around others

- the kissing and other stuff he reserves for when you’re alone

- he just doesn’t do the none jokey stuff with you in public

- which is okay

- he saves those sweet things for just the two of you

- so from the outside your relationship seems to lack seriousness

- though you both know that’s a lie

- now arguments with Junkyu

- the attitude this boy throws when he’s annoyed or angry 

- is unmatched 

- it’s all on his face

- he doesn’t say mean things

- but that look

- it says enough

- he stands his ground if he feels like he’s being treated unfair

- will speak up 

- sounds like he’s pouting

- he is

- he pouts when angry and it’s cute but don’t tell him that

- keep that to yourself

- his voice will raise

- if you have a similar personality

- this can make quite the explosive arguments

- however

- one of you will say something that comes out wrong

- or a funny sentence

- and you end up laughing inbetween 

- are your problems magically solved after that?

- no, but the intensity of the situation is less

- and then you guys can talk 

- apologises with an equally cute

- if not cuter pout than before

- only gets emotional if you do 

- wants to hug you the whole time after

- gets very attached to you afterwards

- because that little fear of losing you kicks in

- though he won’t vocalize it

- it’s for him to know 

- and you to feel cuddled by

- now when he’s sad or upset

- the boy who always has something to say

- is quiet

- barely looking up to make eye contact with you 

- prefers to be alone truly 

- will come to you when he’s ready 

- and then the vault opens

- he’s ranting

- pacing through the room

- big motions with his hands 

- it’s quite animated

- comical almost 

- he’s just so frustrated 

- he just wants someone to listen and acknowledge

- doesn’t even necessarily want help or advice

- just to get his frustrations out 

- When you’re sad and upset

- Junkyu can’t let this happen 

- he’s the best at cheering you up

- he’s all jokes

- all acting dumb to get you to smile

- wrapping you in his clothes for comfort

- and squeezing your cheeks

- a whole lot of reassurance coming from him as well

- “you can do it!”

- “You’re strong, they don’t mean anything” 

- He hypes you up 

- makes you all giggly 

- helps you forget your problems 

- and ends it with a big smooch on your forehead

- + big hugs and a movie

- when you guys have free time together 

- it’s spent lazing around more often than not

- laying in bed watching movies

- or spread out on the ground with blankets

- and pillows 

- watching tv shows

- he’s not above pillow forts either

- he is above cleaning them up though

- so they stay up for a long time 

- y’all end up sleeping in them alot

- you guys play a lot of video games

- and are incredibly competitive

- you aren’t above pushing and shoving 

- winner gets special incentives 

- like kisses

- or loser has to get snacks 

- all very fair

- you also hang out with him a lot while he produces

- whether your cuddled together as he works

- or your sitting supportively next to him while doing your own thing 

- you tend to watch him because he’s just so darn beautiful???

- and he gets flustered

- and like pushes you away out of embarrassment

- *secretly loves it though* 

- you guys like the occasional cafe hopping as well 

- like seeing some cute cafe on tiktok 

- taking out a day to go to it

- try out good food

- while wearing like matching hoodies

- i feel like he would like 

- like matching hoodies with you or matching phone cases 

- something subtle 

- now sleeping with Junkyu is a daily occurance

- the man naps a lot 

- which means you kinda nap a lot too

- you’re very well rested with Junkyu as a boyfriend

- he sleeps like a brick 

- when he’s gone

- he’s gone

- doesn’t wake up unless his body clock tells him too

- cuddling is nice at bed time 

- but ti doesn’t last the whole night

- idk why but I feel like moves a lot in his sleep

- maybe even sleep talks 

- like baby babble

- but when you guys do cuddle 

- he’s on top of you

- with his face burried into your chest

- otherwise you guys just kinda sleep in whatever position the night brings

- don’t always need to be touching

- which is also nice

- Now Junkyu and jealousy 

- this boy 

- his face is just a tell

- no smile to be seen 

- no glitter in his eyes

- just blank

- he doesn’t like feeling inadequent

- and he’s not being made to feel that by you 

- but by the other guy 

- and it leaves him to be a little sulky 

- but it doesn’t stay long

- the second your attention returns to him 

- he’s back to normal 

- forgets about it pretty quickly tbh

- it’s just in the moment that he gets into his thoughts

- but feels so reassured again after a bit of attention from you 

- now kiddies bye bye

- no power roles

- just doesn’t believe in them 

- Junkyu is very go with the flow

- so it’s where the mood brings you both 

- i do however 

- think Junyku is into some freaky shit

- hear me out

- roleplay 

- dressing up 

- or more specifically 

- you dressing up 

- like a little boy in a candy store when you wear pretty lingerie 

- or dress like a hot game character or something

- eyes nearly bulge out of his head

- lazy sex is also just very there

- morning sex when you’re still a lil sleepy

- maybe even a slight somnophilia kink??

- like waking eachother up with oral 

- nothing more than that though 

- i think he can have a bit of a mean streak though 

- in those moments where he does seem to take charge 

- he likes to torture you a little bit

- be it either through teasing you 

- denying you orgasms 

- sitting back and laughing at how whiny you get 

- or be it through overstimulating you 

- it’s okay though 

- he tends to forget that you’ll do the same to him 

- overstimulating him is fun!!

- bucks his hips in your hands

- or as you’re sucking him off

- when he thinks you’re going to pull off of him but keep going

- it’s a surprise every time 

- and he’s left speechless

- until he isn’t

- the noises

- the whining 

- the begging 

- ugh he sounds so good too 

- high pitched whines

- isn’t scared of making noise

- most definitely gets caught by the members multiple times 

- (maybe even gets off on that a little too)

- doesn’t know how to hold back 

- preferred positions are simple

- missionary 

- he likes looking at you 

- and it’s just the best position no matter who’s doing what

- also cowgirl 

- for those who have them

- he likes watching your boobs bounce

- and holding onto you 

Aftercare

- might be a bit lacking

- sex tires the poor boy out

- he needs the aftercare more

- gets all sleepy looking at you 

- with a hazy little smile 

- this loving expression on his face

- it’s a little like he’s drunk 

- but he’s just so in love with you 

- you guys do try and get cleaned up before going to sleep

- though you don’t always make it 

- he begs you to wear a hoodie of his to sleep 

- so he has something nice to wake up too

- a little reminder of the previous nights events

- you guys don’t talk much after 

- it’s quite quiet

- maybe the tv on in the bg

- nothing too intrusive on the moment though 

- A relationship with Junkyu

- is fun 

- like goofy teenagers

- best friends who aren’t scared to be a bit competitive

- it’s a lot of joking 

- a lot of laughs 

- yet serious and supportive when needed

- a relationship where you’re entirely relaxed

- because you feel like you’re dating your best friend

A/N: I love Treasure so much, this series is so fun :(

[anonymous-dentist]

Quackity Commits First-Degree Arachnid Vehicular Homicide in 4k: Or, the PJO au

Reblogs and likes welcome! And stay tuned for the ao3 link in the next couple of days! This one’s a doozy!

-

Now, okay, so Quackity isn’t a bad driver, really. He’s a very good one, actually. He passed his test on his first try, 100%, gold star. He’s read the California state driver’s manual back-to-front at least a dozen times. He practically had it memorized at one point before leaving. 

He isn’t a bad driver. He knows the rules of the road, spoken and unspoken. He likes driving. He’s currently at the end of an eleven-hour stretch of driving up the east coast, and he had a great time doing so. He knows his car inside and out. 

But nothing, and absolutely nothing, in any manual or any class or any instructional video or whatever says what to do when a fucking scopion the size of a Toyota jump out in front of his car and smashes its stinger right through his windshield. 

Quackity likes scorpions. He fucking loves them, actually, he had a pet scorpion when he was a kid back when he stil lived with his dad. But he isn’t eager to die to one, not yet. 

Slamming on the brakes out of sheer instinct, Quackity screeches and ducks to hide behind the steering wheel. He can hear the stinger scraping against the dashboard in front of him, a horrible scritch-scritch-scritch that leaves his teeth on edge and his nerves on fire. He isn’t scared, really. 

His car shakes as the scorpion pulls its stinger out. 

Nah, Quackity isn’t scared. He’s fucking terrified. But just over a week of dealing with this kind of bullshit has left him more or less used to the idea of gigantic creepy crawlies and what-the-fuck-evers showing up and wrecking his day. It’s just that this is the first time that one has broken his car- his dad’s car, his dad’s shitty broken 2007 Honda Accord, his dad’s single most pride and fucking joy, and now it’s going to be smashed to bits and spattered with Quackity’s guts and stuff when the scorpion finally finishes fucking around and starts to find out instead. 

But. He’s fine. He can handle this. He managed to escape the freaky killer sheep down in Philadelphia yesterday. He can handle a scorpion. It’s just a matter of calming down, and-

The Honda’s roof caves in above him with a horrifying ripping-screeching sound. Quackity just barely manages to duck to the side before a stinger as thick as his torso plunges through the hole and aims itself right where his head just was. 

Pressed against the door with his back to the bottom of his seat and his seatbelt choking his neck and pressing uncomfortably into his gut, Quackity thinks, Well, at least it isn’t a fucking spider. 

Watching the stinger flail around looking for him, Quackity decides that maybe it’s time to calm down. Maybe it’s time to do that. No better time than the present, right? What calms him down? Lists, he likes lists. Lists are fun. Lists are fresh. Lists are fun! Take stock of the situation, then make the best of what he has and get away with his life and all of his vital organs and-slash-or limbs preferably intact. 

Take stock. Right. 

The tip of the stinger scrapes against the ceiling leaving acidic burn marks in its wake. 

It’s currently- Quackity checks his watch, breaths and wrist shaking an equal amount- 1:45 in the morning. He has his wallet and his deck of cards on the passenger seat. His backpack of clothes is in the backseat, as is his bag of road trip snacks. So… nothing there. He has a flat tire that he needs to get fixed at the next town he arrives in that will serve an unaccompanied 16-year-old boy with no parents and no credit card. He’s at least an hour away from the nearest town out on the highway out in the middle of nowhere somewhere in New York. Alone. 

The scorpion’s legs press divots into the ceiling. It’s on top, then, probably facing backwards based on the angle the stinger is coming in from. It can’t actually see him, then, okay, that’s good. It can’t have that good a grip on the car. Scorpions are hard to kill, but they aren’t immune to physics, unfortunately. Quackity’s pet scorpion died when his step-mom threw its tank down a flight of stairs. The tank shattered, and the velocity of the scorpion bouncing around the tank’s walls killed it good and dead, mixed up its little organs or whatever. No tank here, but Quackity is alone on an empty highway with a panic brain and a car hotwired to go above its natural speed limit. 

He whimpers as the stinger swipes through the air inches above his face. Just under a week of this, and an infinite amount of time to go. He idly hopes that Tommy, wherever he is, will forget about him if he dies. God knows that kid has enough on his plate as it is. 

Okay. Plan. Quackity loves planning. 

Plan Part One: Physics The Scorpion.

A scorpion can live without its stinger, he thinks, so that won’t work (but it’s not like he has anything to fucking- decapitate? Dismember a gigantic scorpion in the first place.) But scorpions aren’t that fast. If he can get it off the car, then he can just drive off into the metaphorical sunset and see if he can’t just get someone to fix his car down the road. His car. That’s too broken to be fixed, but that’s fine, he can manage.

Nervously, Quackity pulls his beanie down over his ears with both hands, running his thumbs over the scratchy fabric before letting out a breath and placing both hands on the steering wheel. He doesn’t know if scorpions can see if you’re, like, moving and stuff- like scorpion radar- and he definitely doesn’t know if giant hell scorpions can, but, like, whatever. If he dies, he dies. He would just prefer to die somewhere better than inside of a Honda fucking Accord.

The stinger stabs into the headrest less than a foot above Quackity’s head. 

Quackity slams his foot on the gas and can’t help but let out a nervous giggle as the scorpion lets out a surprised-sounding gurgling noise that almost borders on a scream. He kinda feels the same way, actually, and he does let out a scream of his own as a pair of legs crash through the backseat windows trying to find purchase on the rapidly-speeding car. He can vaguely see them flailing in the rearview mirror, okay, good, good. 

“This is insane!” he shouts, an anxious, yet wide, grin slowly spreading across his face despite his best attempts to look properly panicked. “I hope you’re paying for this, asshole! I don’t have any- fuck!”

He reflexively jerks his body left as the stinger goes for his head again. Why does it keep going for the face!? He has a great face! Go for the heart at least, man, make it dramatic. He’d kinda like it if someone can actually identify his body when they find it, thank you! 

“Calm down!” he snaps. “What is wrong with you! What have I done to you guys, come on! I’m literally innocent!”

He feels the car drifting left, but that’s fine. There shouldn’t be any oncoming traffic. If there is, well, poor them. He doesn’t have insurance. Maybe if they ram into him… 

But he is innocent, is the thing, he is! 

…

Okay, maybe he isn’t, but he really doesn’t think that the California State Police are investing in weird hellbeasts to send after teenage runaways. They already have the cops themselves for that. No scorpions needed! 

First it was the birds with projectile feathers that left Quackity down his spare tire and down half of his road trip budget after an emergency stop at an Autozone. Then it was the- god, he doesn’t even know what it was- the snake thing with the bitchy face and the shitty attitude. Then the sheep- oh, the sheep. If he knew that this was how running away was going to turn out, he wouldn’t have done it. But, no, he’s stuck with this for the rest of forever, curse his wanderlust and general spiteful tendencies. 

The scorpion screeches at him, loud and sharp enough to shake the remaining windows. 

Quackity winces as the oncoming wind sends a shower of shattered glass from the windshield right into his face. But, hey, it isn’t all bad. The rearview shows the scorpion’s legs are about out the windows. If he just speeds up some more… 

The speedometer hits 100 as the car hits the shoulder of the road. Quackity yelps as the car jolts and bumps, but he can’t help but let out a cheer as he hears a loud squelch as the scorpion is sent flying off of the roof. And then he screams again as he hears a crunching-scraping noise as his car goes flying through the barrier on the side of the road. Oooooooh, fuck. 

Scorpion gone for the moment, Quackity bolts upright in his seat and tries to get the car under control. He’s going downhill- steeply downhill. It’s not a mountain, but it’s definitely not flat. 

He can almost see some lights in the distance, maybe a farm? He remembers seeing a billboard for some strawberry farm a couple of exits back, maybe this is it? Would they help if he came up in a busted car and told them that there was a monstrous evil scorpion thing trying to kill him? Probably not, right? That’s crazy. It would be crazy. This is all crazy. 

Another nervous giggle escapes his lips. His hands adjust on the steering wheel, fingers gripping and ungripping on a cycle, left pinky to right pinky, and back and forth. He’s fine. That definitely isn’t the scorpion scuttling behind him like a fucking steamtrain. He definitely isn’t about to die in a nameless field in a Honda Accord. A Honda Accord. Somehow, that’s the funny thing here. Not the comically-oversized scorpion chasing him, his dad’s car. 

But the scorpion is right on his tail, and he doesn’t wanna die yet. Not here, anyway, maybe if it was further down the road he’d think about it. But not now, and not here, and certainly not in a Honda. 

So. Plan Part Two: Scorpion Homicide. Let’s gooooo.

There’s a group of trees just over the horizon whose tops he can just barely see and a scorpion charging so fast in such a straight line that it’s destined to crash into whatever is in front of him. Who says that it has to be him that gets hit? 

With an upset little sigh, Quackity presses the gas pedal down to the floor. He leans forward over the wheel like that will somehow convince the car to go faster. He thinks the airbags are working, maybe, possibly, maybe. Maybe. Probably not, but! Maybe they are!

He has to time it just right. He’s a goddamn excellent driver, so he’s got this. Just one… more… 

The trees are right in front of him, less than thirty feet away. The scorpion lunges. Quackity grits his teeth and suddenly jerks the steering wheel to the right as far as it goes. He tries not to get too choked by his seatbelt as he and the car go flying to the right in a sharp turn. 

Out the side mirror, Quackity watches the scorpion slam headfirst into a tree. The tree shakes. The scorpion lays there, dazed and unmoving, but Quackity doesn’t waste any time in skidding into a very illegal u-turn and lining up the angle juuuust right. 

He looks up at the ceiling and lets out a brief prayer before plunging his car right towards the scorpion. Just before he hits it, he swears that he hears someone shouting from outside, but he swears that there’s nobody around. 

And then it’s all noise and blinding darkness as he crashes his dead father’s car into a tree. He can almost make out the soothing noise of a bug getting squished to death above the gut-wrenching crunching and shaking and shattering. A hiss- that’s the scorpion. A pained scream- that’s him. There’s something wet dripping down his forehead, but he can’t see what. Everything is dark, and thank god for it. He might have a panic attack if sees the state his car is in. 

Everything is… muffled. Airbags, that’s the airbags. 

Quackity is pretty sure that he shouldn’t be moving right after a car crash. His brain could be, like, mush. His spine could be broken in seven different places. His arms sure feel broken, and his neck, but maybe that’s just the shock. 

But he moves, anyway, fumbling to unbuckle his seatbelt and to try and open the driver’s side door. There’s kind of an air bag in the way, but he manages. The fresh night air is, uh, well, a breath of fresh air, and Quackity tumbles his way sideways out of his car gratefully. 

He rolls onto his back and stares up at the sky, heart a million miles an hour and lungs screaming in pain. His entire body is in pain, actually, but he still has a terrified, exhilarated smile on his face, and he can’t help but laugh almost maniacally. Adrenaline, baby! He may die of broken bone disease in a minute, but at least he’s out of that goddamn car. 

In a sudden burst of excitement, he pumps both of his fists in the air and lets out a, “Yeah! Take that, bitch!”

He points at the smoking remains of the car and the smoking remains of the tree. He can see the scorpion’s tail poking out from above the car’s roof. It’s twitching, but the scorpion has to be dead. It has to be. 

It has to be. 

But, to make sure, Quackity forces himself to his feet. His legs shake under him and his eyes swim with the effort, but he still forces one step, and then another, and then another. 

There are footsteps from somewhere, he can hear them. He can also hear voices- some shouting, some whispering. He’s always been good at hearing, but not too good at listening. He doesn’t know what they’re talking about, but he could care less. He is on a mission. 

He leans against the car to catch his breath, squinting up at the twitching tail. How is it not dead yet? 

“What the fuck?” he wheezes, one arm clenched around his aching chest and the other just barely propping himself up on the car. “You should be dead.”

Somewhere beyond the trees, someone shouts, “Hello? Is there someone there?”

“You should be dead!” Quackity yells. His panicked laugh returns in full force, growing in volume as the car slowly starts rolling backwards, the scorpion unpinning itself and turning around and starting to crawl towards him with purpose. 

He backs up just as slowly, stumbling over his own feet. He thinks that he has a concussion. He thinks that maybe he is about to die after all. 

There is a light through the trees that seems to be growing closer, rapidly closer. That has to be someone. The strawberry farmer? Someone. Maybe they know how to- how to kill a gigantic evil scorpion from the pits of hell. 

So. Plan Part Three: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

The scorpion looks rough. Half of its legs seem to be broken, either dragging uselessly on the ground or missing altogether. One of its pincers is immobile. Its tail is flopped behind it, the stinger’s tip missing entirely. Okay. It wants to kill him. Quackity swears that it has bloodlust in its beady little eyes. Okay. 

But there’s the strawberry farmer, or the whoever, in the trees. Hopefully an adult, ‘cause Quackity is starting to feel like he needs an adult right now. He’s 16, man, what the hell is he doing fighting monsters when he should be learning trigonometry? 

“You’re absolutely disgusting, I hope you know that,” Quackity says. 

The scorpion, expectedly, doesn't respond, and thank god for it. 

“I’m going to be very disappointed if you kill me,” he continues. He lets out a long breath and looks over the scorpion’s… shoulder? Its shoulder. “I promised myself that the only thing killing me is myself or God, and you sure as hell aren’t God.”

The scorpion hisses at him. Quackity, in a sudden burst of spite, hisses back. 

Taken aback for whatever reason, the scorpion stops its approach. It blinks at him confusedly, the perfect picture of arachnid bewilderment. 

Aaaand, go!

Quackity takes advantage of the monster’s pause to summon every bit of strength he has left in his body and charge at it. The scorpion tenses, prepared to snip his body in half, but, at the last second, he ducks left and just keeps running. 

The air above his head swishes as the scorpion flails its tail at him in hopes of somehow managing to skewer him on its pincer. No dice. He’s nimble as hell, motherfucker, he’s fucking nimble. He definitely has a concussion, though. Gut feeling on that one. 

The light in the woods grows closer and closer until Quackity can actually make out the source: a guy not much older than he is with an old-school flashlight from, like, 2005 holding a… okay, sure, he can have a sword. Not the weirdest thing that Quackity has seen today. 

Quackity fucking throws himself at this guy, dashing right into his body and scrambling to find purchase in his horrible orange t-shirt. 

The guy stumbles back, arms outstretched in a T so as to not skewer Quackity on his literal sword. 

“What the hell?” the guy asks, sounding confused as all hell. 

Quackity, gripping the front of the guy’s shirt, looks up at him with more conviction than he’s ever felt in his life and says, “If that thing kills me, I’m going to haunt the everloving shit out of you.”

And then he passes the hell out. 

Whoops.