#btw i will get off this thread and start my own after this

[theelusivepoetalien]

Okay so it's a great day to go see if something like Khan Academy or other freebie learning zone has a Computer Networking 101. Turns out KhanAcademy.org is still free for now. I'm sure it mines the hell out of your data like anything else. I use one of my like 10 google logins. Did you know you didn't used to have a phone number to get a gmail address? There are still some e-mail services that don't require phone numbers, though they have different limitations and uses. Becoming a suite was quite another magnitude for a login. Anyway, someone tag me if we need the article on Other Email Services. https://www.geeksforgeeks.org/basics-computer-networking/ ^This doesn't require a log in. I'm probably going to try to find a couple amusing videos. Like probably from youtube, unless I can find something on vimeo or the fediverse. A lot of this is learning how the internet goes. It teaches The Names and Commands of The Internet. Sort of like programing languages like C(++++?) and Python are Vocabulary and Grammar for Taming Your Processor. I'll reblog with more related links as I add to my Updated Study Library. My current aims include: > getting competent in basic LAN and internetwork administration > continuing to munch on html and CSS -- //Every time I get used to a service, it disappears or monetizes out of my budget or fills up with ads until it stops working.// I think I can make an ugly tack board and file server for my household. Also it's really satisfying -- like painting with puzzle pieces. > web hosting so there is somewhere to put it > uh taking screenshots and making posts about better net navigation and building skills to improve awareness? And of course: https://www.myabandonware.com/browse/theme/typing-29/ A bunch of typing games so old that no one cares. If you're willing to go with lowtech graphics to skip modern spyware and webtracking, it's honestly a fun little ride. Learning to type physical conditioning. However you make 15-30 minutes almost every day good and fun for yourself. (Sometimes 2d alien fun for points is enough, ya?) Yeah, those are for windows. Most macintosh users these days can maybe blow a few currency on a indie app, eh? Linux users -- you already know how to use freeware and honestly I'm not expecting to be read by a lot of linux users on this thread. (@ me for linux introductions ig too) Android? Basically in the same app boat as mac... Shout up for android power user info, like sideloading but... I haven't been browsing the indie APKs or the flash community in ages.

And uh, get a keyboard. bluetooth is fine for a while and better for someone trying to start this kind of project on a phone or a tablet. If someone is sticking to typing games for a few weeks or several, it might be worth considering getting a corded keyboard -- Anyone who is topping over 45wpm and heading for 60+ will find that bluetooth keyboards may not keep up with that leveled up meat input. (I can type around 90wpm or so when I'm on a roll and get frustrated pretty quickly.) Most Importantly: SAVE YOUR PROGRESS (u matter), & Look It Up before you Give It Up.

another thought about "gen z and gen alpha don't know how to use computers, just phone apps" is that this is intentionally the direction tech companies have pushed things in, they don't want users to understand anything about the underlying system, they want you to just buy a subscription to a thing and if it doesn't do what you need it to, you just upgrade to the more expensive one. users who look at configuration files are their worst nightmare

[swizzlemynizzle]

Underneath the Noise

—————————————————————————

Masterlist

Chapter 6: Post-Party Panic

—————————————————————————

The morning sun slices through Y/N’s window like a passive-aggressive reminder of her life choices. Her head is surprisingly okay. Her feet, not so much. The muddy size elevens are still by the door—silent, damning—and her own shoes are God knows where. Possibly in the Thames. The memories of last night blurred at the edges, not quite comprehensable this early in the morning.

Her new flat is still half-unpacked. Boxes lean against the walls, a heap of wires sprawled across the floor like a tech-themed crime scene. But she’s buzzing. Giddy, even.

Her cold feet sting on the kitchen tile as she makes a coffee, an attempt to rejoin Earth after a wild night. As the bitter liquid coats her tongue, the memories feel a little clearer.

Last night keeps looping in her head like a glitchy highlight reel: tambourine guy, fountain dipping, George’s stupid smirk when she called him a hobbit by mistake. The way he’d looked at her—really looked at her—like he saw through the performance and wasn’t put off by what was underneath.

And yet, beneath the buzz, something sharp simmers in her stomach.

Chris’s video.

She’s not in control of how people will see her—how they’ll edit her, meme her, decide who she is based on five minutes of drunken footage and one out-of-context laugh. She’s been on the internet long enough to know how fast strangers form opinions.

She’s done nothing wrong. But still. Anxiety doesn’t care about logic.

She shoves it aside and refocuses on her streaming setup. At least this part she can control. Two monitors up, ring light plugged in, mic adjusted. Her little digital kingdom—home.

Her phone buzzes on the desk. It’s a message from Chris.

Chris:

btw—thanks again for being in the vid yesterday. you were class. don’t let the internet be weird. if anyone gives you grief I’ll just post an unflattering picture of George and redirect the drama.

She snorts. Then reads it again. She hadn’t even realised how much she needed that.

She and Chris had only met a few times before yesterday’s video, yet he welcomed her like a long time friend.

Another notification follows almost instantly—this time from WhatsApp.

New group chat created: CHAOS GOBLINS

Members: Chris, Bach, Arthur Hill, ArthurTV, George, Y/N

Chris:

everyone give a round of applause to Y/N for not bailing when we made her wade into a public fountain

Bach:

absolute trooper. also possibly immortal?

Arthur Hill:

I still haven’t thawed out. if i die tell the coroner it was for content

ArthurTV:

100% worth it. someone check on Pickle the ferret tho

George:

still think Y/N peaked at “clown shoes and Hot Bitch Ready To Party shirt” tbh

Y/N:

sorry that I’m setting fashion trends you all can’t keep up with

Chris:

love you guys

Her grin creeps up before she can stop it. Despite the cold floors and the lingering worry, the thread of connection weaving through her screen is warm. Real.

Her Discord pings next.

georgeclarkey:

you up for streaming today or are you still emotionally recovering from trench foot?

She blinks.

Then grins wider.

y/n:

depends. are you going to insult my shoe choices again or play COD like a civilised human being?

georgeclarkey:

no promises. get in the vc.

She joins the call and is immediately met with George’s voice, clear and low and just a bit smug.

“There she is. The woman who turned the fountain into her personal Olympic trial.”

“Jealous I outpaced you in the chaos Olympics,” she replies, slipping her headset on.

They load into a match. It’s easy, this. Banter bouncing between them like they’ve done this for ages—even though this is technically their first proper stream together.

He makes dry, ridiculous commentary.

She mock-scolds him for stealing her kills.

He starts humming Wonderwall at one point and she threatens to rage quit.

The chat, naturally, loses it.

@bananasformonsters:

why do they lowkey sound like a couple

@yourewatchingBBCthree:

"she turned the fountain into her personal Olympic trial" – I’m crying, marry her already

@justvibingirl:

how do they know each other?? is this a collab or a situationship??

She snorts reading the comments, but George—either oblivious or intentionally ignoring them—just keeps playing.

After two hours and several chaotic rounds, they finally log off.

Y/N slumps back in her chair, cheeks aching from smiling. She opens Instagram on autopilot, half-thinking she should maybe share a clip.

And then—

@georgeclarkey followed you.

Huh.

A second later, a DM pops up.

georgeclarkey:

sorry in advance for the influx of people asking if we’re dating. feel free to deny everything. or say we met in Tesco. up to you.

She stares at the message for a moment. Bites her lip.

Then types:

y/n:

Tesco feels right. Two hands met over the last salt and vinegar packet. Destiny.

The typing bubble appears.

georgeclarkey:

iconic. should probably get married for the brand alone.

She laughs out loud. Okay, maybe she’s going to be alright.

---

@madforgeorge

@wherethezoes-at

@sundarksposts

@clarkey4life

[thatoneoverlyhornybitch]

Just a drabble of you giving Re2r! Leon head<3

Re2r! Leon s. Kennedy x Fem! Reader

Warnings: dom reader, sub leon, oral (m recieving), throat fucking

A/n: I'm so sorry I'm having rookie leon brain rot rn and it won't stop + I'm so sorry I forgot to post this literally right after my last leon fic literally 2 years ago bruh😪 not gonna edit or add more then there already was btw, I have another fic I'm working on but I found this and needed to get it out of my drafts lol

You press a soft kiss to the light pink tip, sticky precum stuck to your lips as you glide them down the side of the thick cock. You push your tongue out, giving small kitten licks to the sides as you make your way to his leaking tip once more.

He whines out softly at the feeling of you tonguing at his tip. You set your eyes on his pretty flushed face, his teeth buried into his bottom lip as he watches your every movement with furrowed brows. You abruptly suck the whole tip into your mouth, flicking your tongue over it while you apply light suction. You slide the hard cock further into your mouth, sucking harder.

"A-ahh!" Soon enough he was balls deep in your throat, balls slapping your chin as you bobbed your head up and down at a much faster pace. You could tell he wanted to put his hands into your hair, but didn't want to hurt you. With a giggle around his cock, you reached for his hands and threaded them with your own before placing them in your hair. He gives you a concerned look, glancing from his hands to your eyes.

You let off his cock with a pop, instantly missing the feeling of him being down your throat he let out an involuntary whine. "Be a good boy and fuck my throat, 'kay?" You grinned, pressing another kiss to his tip. His eyes widened, and the flush on his face grew fiercer but he nodded shoving his tip past your lips.

"If that's what you want...." He muttered as he began thrusting weakly, he was still holding back as he didn't want to hurt you. You rolled your eyes, before you grasped his hands and roughly pushed them further. He got the idea and began to go at the pace you'd wanted, you moaned around his cock as he filled your throat. Tears pricked your eyes, but you were in heaven. You swore you could get off just with this, biut your thoughts are cut off as he abruptly halts as his seed starts shooting down your throat.

"W-was that okay?" He asked shyly almost, avoiding eye contact.

"That was perfect baby, wanna do it again but this time let me know when you're close, yeah?"

[romanarose]

Writers don’t owe you warnings

Take a shot every time I say ass

This was a comment left on a story of mine from like a year ago. In the warnings section I put “ass eating“ the story contained reader eating Joel’s ass and apparently that’s an issue lol

I believe that it is good practice too warn if there is dark content or major triggering content like discussion of self harm, but

1. Writers do not HAVE TO do anything. During this little thread, the commentator did clarify that they meant “have to“ instead of “having to”. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

2. I warned about ass eating. You assumed that Joel was eating readers ass or Tommy was eating readers ass. I didn’t mislead you. You just made your own assumption.

3. You’re right, I don’t know what triggers people. Fun fact, with me, and with many survivors of trauma stories with rape don’t actually trigger us, it’ll be random, smaller things. If I see suicide squad on tv, to this day, I begin to panic. You cannot predict what will trigger someone.

4. You are an adult. You need to be able to handle your own triggers just like I do. With ocd, I live with triggers all the time and I have cool myself. At 27, I learned how. I have been triggered by many many fics in lo these ten years of reading, before and after learning to manage my emotions, never once did I think “it’s the writers fault for not telling me.

5. And this is my last point. Ass is ass. I understand if you want your ass ate, but don’t want to eat ass because realistically with my OCD I’m the same way. But if the very idea of ass eating altogether didn’t put you off enough to turn away from this story then IDK what to tell you. I think you can handle the thought of your tongue up Joel’s sweet, sweaty, hairy, puckered asshole

And yall wonder why writers are running off this app left and right?

I have been extensive with tagging in the past and I STILL get shit no matter what I do. I’ve started just telling people “it’s contains what it contains. Take it or leave it”

I use the warnings, outside of warning things that may trigger, more to ATTRACT like minded people.

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE MORE ACCESS TO FIC WRITERS DOESNT MEAN ITS NOT BAD FORM TO NITPICK!!

Btw if you want to tongue Joel’s ass here you go !

[widevibratobitch]

couldn’t make this shit up if i tried.

what the fuck dumas

[straycatfish]

as threatened... a very self indulgent look at the visual art references in my daniel & alice fic, wayward and flickering existence. one thing i fucking love about iwtv is how present all kinds of art are in it, that it's an essential part of the character work as well as the overall texture of the show. and i love fics that pull on that. so this fic is my first attempt at paying homage to that. (i'm cooking up another one that's explicitly kinky, but that's for another day).

so in the fic daniel takes alice on a midnight gallery date, which is obviously a lil nod to s2e4, but also i liked the thought of daniel realising this is something nice he can do for her (+ he's showing off too, of course). because i'm Like That i needed it to be a real exhibition, and when i found this Edward Hopper exhibit, with its themes of change and memory and subjective perspectives, i was delighted. included were pieces of ephemera, like the hoppers' collection of theatre ticket stubs up top, pointing to lively, living moments vs the staged melancholy of the paintings. it also introduced me to hopper's etchings, which i hadn't seen before.

this is Night Shadows (1922). look at those thick shadows. they're almost alive. and the aerial perspective, the sense of watching. this just has vampire vibes. i thought of daniel seeing this in a book sometime in the 80s or 90s and getting the willies and not really knowing why.

the other great thing the exhibit gave me was its lens on marriage and the idea of the muse. jo hopper, edward's wife, is the model for every woman in his paintings after 1924. she also provided extensive creative and professional support, all while he discouraged her own artistic career.

here's Morning Sun (1952). this time it's alice who's creeped out, by the blank gaze and the drenching light, but she likes that about it. for my purposes, it's a way into exploring her own artistic pov.

my alice being an artist came from all the alice/armand paralleling – the idea of them sharing some physical attributes is fun, but i'm more drawn to thinking about other things they could have in common. an artist's eye on the world, and how that contrasts/complements the reporter's view on daniel's part – that's very compelling to me.

alice-the-artist would have been starting out during the american feminist art movement of the 60s into the 70s – a lot of interest in bodies, spaces, framing, seeing. she is going to be very aware of the position of women in art history and contemporary art. the harshness and the sadness of this painting draws her to it. meanwhile for daniel, it prompts a memory of her sketching him in the 70s during a rough patch in their relationship. shades of amadeo threaded through all this, not that alice knows about that.

after the hopper exhibit they go to check out The Seasons (1957) by Lee Krasner. wow abstract expressionism that's actually good. this canvas is 17 feet wide btw.

krasner was married to jackson pollock, and there's a quote from her that felt pretty on theme. she painted it in the year following her husband's death, and said of it:

the question came up whether one would continue painting at all, and I guess this was my answer.

i decided not to refer to this directly, because after all the hopper stuff i wanted to just refer to a female artist and NOT include her famous husband. but there's loss and grief in there, as well as life – it's such a living painting to me, and alice remarks on that, compares it to a garden and again finds a sense of watching and/or being watched by something in the space it conjures.

alice has visited this painting many times in her life, and this time is a surprise because she wasn't sure if she would ever go back to museums in a world that is starting to believe the COVID pandemic is over while she's still shielding. something here about the imaginary spaces art lets us visit not being really separate from material spaces and conditions.

towards the end of the fic we get a description of one of alice's pieces, a mixed-media portrait of daniel. i made her a collage/mixed media artist because i personally just love that shit, and also because daniel – her muse for a time – is a fragmented thing, and also so i could draw inspiration from some really cool women artists who were also working in the 70s and 80s.

i combined ideas from the work of two artists in particular:

this is from Annegret Soltau's 'Grima' (Masks) series (1986). others from the same series have lizard and bug features. here's more of her work in general.

and this is 'A Difficult Position' from Penny Slinger's series An Exorcism (1970-77).

alice's work as described features hybridised or distorted forms, using pencil drawing, photography, photocopying, tearing and stitching. in the fics that i've written about the two of them, she sees that daniel is haunted during their relationship even if she doesn't know why until much later, after she's gone through the process of exorcising him from her own life. now they're reconnecting, and the ghosts are still everywhere, some of them different ghosts, some familiar.

none of this needs to be known to read the fic, but it was extremely fun for me to hunt out these images and weave them in, and if looking at/into them adds anything to the experience for anyone then i think that's a lovely little bonus.

[becauseimanicequeen]

Ming and Joe's Colors in My Stand-In, Part 6: Random Color Moments

Part 1: Overview

Part 2: Black and Blue

Part 3: Red and Green

Part 4: Yellow/Gold

Part 5: Brown

I received an ask a couple of days ago asking me about Joe and Ming's colors (which is something I've been thinking about for a while) and decided to answer that question in a separate post (which turned into a series). So, here I am.

In this post, I'm gathering the random small color moments I loved seeing in My Stand-In but that didn't fit into the other posts I've previously posted in this series.

Let's dive right in.

I loved that Joe 2.0 was wearing pink (which is, if we're keeping it simple, basically red mixed with white) the first time he meets Ming again after the accident.

And since I wrote about the red thread of fate in part 3 of this series, I love that Joe 2.0 is wearing this color (which I call red-ish in my posts) and that Ming almost instantly recognized something about him.

Another color moment I loved was this one, where all of Ming and Joe's colors are present in one frame. And it's on the first day they meet.

Ming's black (the cars) and red (that post in the background), Joe's blue (the neon-like sign on the building) and green (the plants), the yellow/gold they share (the lights in the background), and the brown (some of the features on the building behind Ming). I love moments like this.

I also love that Joe served Ming food in that golden pot, with the black nob, and putting it on the table in those red-ish oven mitts.

Gold, black, and red are all Ming's colors. And considering Joe is surrounded by green, it makes these contrasting colors (the red and the green) stand out.

Joe is basically showing his generosity by feeding Ming, and I'm pretty sure this is one of the ways he shows his love. Moments like this make my artistic soul so happy.

And, on the topic of Joe's green...

The fact that this petty little bitch (whom I love so much) is feeding Tong the green treat makes it obvious that he wants to get back at Joe for the way Joe (unintentionally, of course) made him feel jealous.

He clearly chose the green one because he knows green is Joe's color. It's also fitting since green is often associated with envy/jealousy. Ming is so fucking obvious with his pettiness and I love him dearly for it.

And, continuing on the topic of green...

Ming started out with a green phone...

Which, again, is Joe's color (even though Ming probably uses it here because he believes it's Tong's color). Then has a brown one two years after the accident...

Which represents the sadness and loneliness he's felt since Joe disappeared. Phone cases are meant for more than just protection and decoration. They're clearly meant to show off your emotions as well, lol.

And, on the topic of emotions...

Ming is sitting on a blue chair (can we call it that?) while eating instant noodles after leaving Joe on the floor in Joe's apartment.

Blue is one of Joe's colors and the instant noodles were what Joe served Ming the first night they met. Ming is clearly in his emotions, specifically his emotions for Joe. You can try to convince me that Ming isn't attached to Joe at this point. But I would not believe a single word you say, lol.

And, on the topic of Ming and Joe's relationship...

The green and gold color of the bowls Joe bought (they're so fucking pretty, btw) shows up in the post between them when Joe agrees to Ming's deal (but with some conditions of his own).

I haven't really thought about what the post and those colors showing up again might mean. Perhaps that it should've been evident to Ming that Joe 2.0 is "his" Joe. Perhaps that they're not being honest with each other or communicating clearly. Perhaps that their relationship is starting anew but in a slightly different way. Perhaps that Ming will once again (with a lot of work, growth, and groveling) make Joe feel like this again:

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Then, moving on to a whole other color situation...

When Ming found out Tong was about to ask May to marry him, the lights around them were pink. Pink represents love. But it also represents delusion, among other things, which I feel suits Ming's attachment to Tong (at least in the beginning of the show, before the time skip to 2 years later).

And after Ming is heartbroken knowing Tong will ask May to marry him, and he walks out in tears, the lights have turned blue. Blue is a color representing sadness. But it's also Joe's color. So it can be seen as if Ming, even though he's clearly hurt, is walking towards something better (even though he fucks it up).

And, on the topic of blue...

The first time Ming meets Tong and is crushing hard on him, a man walks past with a blue ladder, cutting Ming off from Tong and May, which leads to May getting closer to Tong instead of Ming.

Seriously, props to that man walking past with a blue ladder since blue is Joe's color. And this is after Ming has fallen for Joe's back (he only mistakenly thinks it's Tong's).

Tell me Ming and Joe were meant to be together without telling me they were meant to be together.

And, on the topic of the mess that's Ming, Tong, and Joe...

Say what you will about Ming using Joe as a substitute for Tong (and you're definitely right), but Ming loved Joe too.

The red bag he carried those mugs in says it all. It was a part of him (since red is one of Ming's colors) and his love for Joe.

And, on the topic of Ming's love for Joe...

There's this moment with the red and blue lines entwining on that RV (the RV Ming used). That's Joe's blue and Ming's red entwining as they meet again (and even work together).

There's a pink line too, and that line represents love. (Perhaps delusion too. But mostly love. I need to be positive about this after watching the 8th episode, lol.)

And, on the topic of red lines...

Joe is wearing a shirt with red lines on it (which isn't the first time, as I wrote in part 3 of this series). This time it's when he meets Tharn who is Joe 2.0's ex.

Perhaps it's meant to show that Joe 2.0 and Joe 1.0 actually have a red thread of fate situation going on and that their deaths (and other possible similarities) have a connection.

And, on the topic of Joe's accident...

Ming refuses to believe Joe is dead. And I love the blue light visible behind him as he says this:

Blue is Joe's color, and it's present here as Ming reinforces to himself that Joe is out there somewhere.

I also love the yellow/gold light Ming is facing. That's the color that Ming and Joe share. As I wrote in part 4 of this series, they're the light in each other's lives and the light is often guiding them toward each other (even after Joe's soul has moved into another body).

Then, at last, I have a very random color moment that doesn't have anything to do with Ming or Joe, but I just loved it so much that I had to include it...

Look at Joe's mom and Sol sitting there in contrasting colors:

The yellow and purple are so pretty together. Sol's hair is still distracting as hell (and I'm saying this as someone who used to dye my hair in various hues of red as a teenager, lol!), but at least the contrasting colors took the attention away from his hair in this particular scene (lol!).

Part 1: Overview

Part 2: Black and Blue

Part 3: Red and Green

Part 4: Yellow/Gold

Part 5: Brown

[castleofclouds]

ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ Nct Dream Alternative Universe OT7.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ pairings ; ot7 × reader (yn)

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ disclaimer ; fiction, cursing, 18+ content, kms joke and many more.

Story are by © castleofclouds, do not copy or repost without watermark!

‧₊˚ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ࣪﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪sumarry : your life was peaceful until your stupid friends start giving you ideas of making thread about ur exes, stirring a whole new problems for you, suddenly one by one of your past start running back to you and opening old books of you and them, how do you act in this situation?

genre : gotta be fluff! texts (sometimes smau) angsty, slowburn, romance, humor, mention of 18+ content.

tag : @bluedbliss, @luvandletter, @1daily2lele7,

To All The Boys I've Dated Before : Read The Room

The discussion continued smoothly, even with the tension that are clear to eyes between you and mark, there's clearly something on the air, but nobody dared to asked, karina keep checking you out, making sure nothing get messy from the both of you, you glared at mark like there's no tommorow, well he left you. How can you pretend to be fine?

“So Mark, now that we already had the discussion from moment on we are going to work together to make the script, hmm.. How about yn and mark doing it together?” Kai exclaimed, well. Turn out not everybody got the hints, Sunghoon slap his arms causing him to wince in pain. “Ouch, is that necessary?” he whined.

“Sorry yn, Kai doesn't drink his espresso today, he kinda buffering out there..” Sunghoon assured you, Mark eyeing you before voicing his own opinions.

“I would love too, besides yn is the best at writings script for a movie, she knew a lot of movies that we can used as references.” Mark stated oblivious to your feelings. “Yn doesn't know how to write for shits.” Karina tried to help you, but Kai clap in excitement.

“Then we had a deal? Btw how do you know yn watch a lot of movies? She never even tell us that even though we both are classmates?”

Kai and his big mouth, you want to just shove a paper inside it and never let him talk again.

You sighed, and look at Karina, she worries a lot, as your childhood friends she knew how much Mark hurted you back then, she doesn't want you go through the same thing again now that the culprits are here across you. “Okay, I'll try my best.” you agreed quickly didn't want to add fuel to the flames, well you could. And that would be okay, but you didn't want to tell everybody that Mark actually are your exes, first ex to be exact and he abandoned you years ago.

After the group added Mark, discussion ended smoothly, when everybody start packing Mark notice you and asked for a private talk. You agreed.

Both of you stand silently at the corner, he looks at you with his twinkle eyes, “What is it Mark?” he open his mouth but close it again, doing it for a while now and that really pisses you off.

“What is it? If you didn't have anything to say I'll go.” you proceeded to walk away but he stopped you, he doesn't look at you yet but he didn't let go of your arms either. “I.. I'm sorry.” he stuttered, he said it again, another sorry came out of his mouth, it's not a suprise, you are so used of this behavior he always said sorry, without giving any meaning to that. Some sort of blabbering.

“Hear me out first, I knew we had an history but I hope you would be fine working with me for the next 1 month, trust me after this I'll be gone and never talk to you ever again, I need this project for my grades, you know how me and grades are like.” he explained. You sighed.

“Yeah, grades, and achievement, isn't that you? You only thing about yourself first, never others, just like how you abandoned me back then.” those words feels like some sorts of curse, it flows so flawlessly as if you had been waiting to said all those words since years ago.

“I see your tweet.. About me.” both of you went silent, you are. You want to bashing your head against the kitchen tops, you forgot that tweet exist for shits. “I was drunk at that times, just because I said nice things about you doesn't mean I forgave you.” you tried to defend yourself.

“I know, but whatever it is i'm thankful, Johnny is the one that shared that to me, so.. I found it by suprise.” Mark continues, you shut him off by put your hands in front of his face.

“Whatever it is, we are done talking and I need to go, we had another class this afternoon, I don't want to be late for that class.” you dipped left him alone at the corner, he sighed, he already predicted this, but at least Mark wanted to give you reason to not hate him too much.

After visiting Mark's dorm, the five of you back to the class, a very important class, and somehow the most hated ones. It's one of those essential Math Class. Why do filmography students even needs math or psychics class? Apparently it's one of the essential in order to make a good film production, especially geometry, algebra and more. You hated this class. Math were never your favorite, just like how Math never favored you too.

Class were painfully boring, the lectures brought horor when he spoke there's going to be a test in three month, and you didn't prepare nothing, and this test are important to keep your grades, not like you care, but your math grades were already failing, so this test might save you from not getting your ass kicked out from the class.

You asked around to see if anybody knew someone who can help you with maths, Jay, the guys that had been sitting next to you in algebra class recommend you one of his mentor that specializes in math and psychics that had 100% chance of changing that C- to A- in just months.

This seems like such a really good ideas, you never agreed to fast than a bolt of lighting, he gives you number and you make the deals, this is going to be easy! As you thought.

Well that was three hours ago, well now where is that spirit? You look at the guy that are going to be your mentor, you want to throw rocks at your head for believing today isn't going to be bad as the other days previously if anything today was worsened than any day you ever had in your entire life.

You thought meeting, Renjun and Mark were already bad because they caused chaos in your life, or how you want to just cried on Chenle shoulder when you first saw him, now this guy?

He glared at you, yeah, you clearly are going to have a very tough time with this one ex of yours, you started to wonder if your life is one book where the author hated your character that they just make your character met these exes of yours at the worst time in your life.

Well you aren't wrong.

Jisung, he had been giving you those nasty glares, if looks could kill, you probably are murdered and torn limps by limps.

You know why, you hurted him too much so many times even if you pray to God, do good deeds, your sins to him will never be payed enough, and you wanted to kill yourself for it too, how can you hurted the most pure hearted person, betrayed him, lied to him, left him, and now you asked for his help? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Well. You are.

“Uhmm.. I'm here for mentoring?” you started conversation, he looks at you up and down. “After thinking about it i'm not that desperate for money, asked someone else to mentor you, I'm full.” as he ready to left the warm library.

Previous, Masterlist, Next.

A/N

How is itt?? Did y'all like it?? I hope soo, I'm actually missing writing about TBDE more than i think I were, gonna write more if you would like it, leave any notes or traces so I knew who's watchin~ anyway how's your Wednesday going? It's morning in here rn soo yeah, btw there's going to be a spinoff from this TBDE series do yall want me to post the first chapter of that spin off first or continue this story first and later post it? Just let me know!

[azure-firecracker]

Hello! For your TXF ask game (great idea btw!), please may I ask the following:

N - Now you’ve been given a pen and a chance to write your own episode. Describe it!

I - If you could change one thing about the show, what would it be? Why would you change it, how would you make it better?

Thank you :)

Ooh two fun ones! Thank you! It got long so I put my answers under the cut lol.

The ask game is here.

N: Because I am never done fixing the Season 2 kidnapping ratio.

This episode takes place sometime between One Breath and Irresistible. Throughout the episode, the viewers can see Mulder’s apparent fear for Scully whenever danger arises, and he throws himself in front of her to the point of recklessness whenever danger appears. The terror that her abduction has left in him is very raw. Scully, in this episode, is more reserved (à la beginning of Irresistible).

A cult is targeting victims who believe they’ve been abducted by aliens. They’re found alive - for all intents and purposes - but they’ve simply ceased to function. Scully determines some fancy medical condition as the cause of death, but Mulder is convinced that it’s abduction-related. The more the investigation goes on, the more he becomes convinced that Scully is the next target.

At one point, they follow some trail of evidence and they find one of the cult members who begins doing some sort of magic ritual. Mulder panics and tries to get Scully out of there, but he ends up getting her hurt (nothing major) and the cult member escapes. Scully and Mulder fight about her needing protection or not and Mulder’s paranoia - stuff they never talked about but should have.

Scully, at this point, discovers that one of the victims was actually delusional and had never been abducted at all. She begins reviewing some medical files again and notices that parts of the prefrontal cortex of every victim has been damaged (magically but damaged). She puts it together and realizes that the common thread between the victims isn’t the abduction but their belief. She rushes off to find Mulder - but he’s gone! Because he ditched her and went off to find the cult by himself! Without realizing he was a target!

Anyway Mulder is doing a voiceover as he drives off to the middle of nowhere to find the cult and it’s all about how sorry he is for everything and how he doesn’t want to leave Scully but he can’t lose her again (think End Game email coded). BUT the cult does this spell thing to make his car drive off the bridge and they drag him (unconscious) out of the river.

(Did we really think I was writing this without a damsel in distress Mulder moment?)

Anyway Scully puts together the cult’s location somehow and goes after him. She gets to do a high-stakes negotiation with the cult leader when Mulder is literally about to be ritual sacrificed and they’re going to drain his life force out of him (scary!). By the way he’s conscious but very out of it. She convinces the cult leader to let him go but the rest of the cult goes bananas and she has to fight them. Slay.

Anyway she wins and then she kneels down, face full of worry, as he opens his eyes, and they don’t say anything but they do hug.

We get a post-climax resolution to their fight where Scully is playing doctor and they’re talking about protection again and Mulder says he never thought she couldn’t handle herself but he was scared of losing her again, and Scully says don’t you think I feel that way too when you do stupid stuff like this? Anyway it’s not completely resolved but it’s a heart to heart. There’s probably a forehead kiss in here too.

But the last shot of the episode is Mulder leaving the office and Scully, who has been very calm and collected, if defensive, this whole episode, starts shaking and sinks to the floor as one single tear slides down her face.

Fade to black.

Would you watch this episode? Let me know in the comments!

I: TBH the Season 2 kidnapping ratio is my answer for this but I’ll talk about something else.

Disclaimer: I talk about racism and cultural insensitivity in this section. I am white, half Jewish, American, and I know a little bit about folk music. Please listen to fans of color on this subject when they speak on it, with more weight and attention than you give me.

The cultural episodes. The episodes that center a non-white or “other” culture in some way, and are usually done with good intent but poorly executed. First of all, get some goddamn writers of color in the room. And second of all, don’t bite off more than you can chew. These are nuanced issues, yes, but you have 45 minutes. Pick an argument and stick to it.

Kaddish was the only episode that did this well in my opinion. The episode had very strong themes of antisemitism, and its message on antisemitism was clear - it’s bad. Plus, the score actually used accurate Yiddish music instead of that goddamn flute.

Burn the flute.

Episodes like Teliko, Hell Money, and El Mundo Gira all tried to make similar points about marginalized groups, but the execution fell short because the marginalized groups in question were both villains and victims. There’s nothing wrong with having that nuance, but 45 minutes of a tv show that’s mostly about campy sci fi adventures is not the place for it. The result of this dilemma is that it’s unclear whether these episodes are trying to make a political point or if they’re just being lowkey racist.

So. If you MUST do these “cultural episodes.”

Pick a simple message and stick to it. Immigrants are being abused and it’s bad. Racism is bad. Antisemitism is bad. Etc. Etc. Your writers room has shown that you do not have the capacity for anything more complex.

Do not make up folktales for the purposes of your story. Use real ones or have the villain be something else.

If you’re going to have characters speak in a non-English language, cast actors who are fluent in that language (looking at you El Mundo Gira).

And for fuck’s sake, actually research the traditional music of the cultures you’re talking about and get rid of that fucking flute.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[stupendousfoxthing]

It's so annoying to me when I come across people who say that tkkers base their belief in taekook on edits and videos that overanalyze. Not saying that there aren't shippers like this but I know this is not the case for alot of tkkers I know and certainly not for me. I had no interest in shipping and theorising on band mates being in a secret relationship when I got into BTS. I just really loved their music and their story.

I noticed taekook while catching up on lives and binging BTS content trying to get to know the members more. I wasn't trying to ship any members, but I was picking up on things with taekook that made me side eye them ngl. The odd tension in lives, the hot and cold behaviour, being overly touchy and familiar with eachothers bodies and personal space while also sometimes acting like they don't know eachother. I tried to brush it off but the vibe they were giving off was like when you start noticing tension between two people in a friend group but nobody talks about it and it becomes the big elephant in the room, only to find out later they were secretly hooking up lol.

After awhile I felt like I had gotten a good grasp on all the friendships and dynamics within the group and yet taekook remained a big question mark to me and fandom discourse certainly didn't help at all. It's only then that I fell into the rabbit hole out of curiousity and most of what I learnt has solidified my suspicions about them. You really don't need analysis videos or shipping edits to notice them because the vibe they give off and the things they do, the way BigHit handled them, these things are enough to make you question. Remember when locals at 2020 Grammy's were asking if they were a couple? Yep, taekook give off boyfriend vibes and we all know it, even the naysayers know it deep down.😂

(Btw I love reading your thoughts, please post more 😭)

It doesn't annoy me when other people say that about Taekookers, because I know for a fact that's not what I base my belief on and I think a significant portion of people who say that are trying to convince themselves there's nothing between TK, we just really want there to be. A lot seem to believe that if they get rid of us Taekook's relationship will stop existing, whatever the nature of that relationship is. Personally I hate analysis videos. Like I said previously, when I first starting looking at Taekook those kinds of videos weren't very popular yet. The two big YouTube accounts I followed just posted compilation videos of moments with no analysis. That's all I need. There are so many moments that speak for themselves. I'll be screaming about the nape kiss until the end of time. I'm sorry but there's no way you're going to convince me there's anything platonic about that. Two recent moments I think about a lot are the Sweetheart shirts and Tae's live where we found out Jungkook always sings "To Find You" to him. Those are very loud and obvious imho. I don't need to analyze them. I've also in my own life accurately called these same "vibes" between plenty of people who ended up together. The tells aren't any different for same-sex couples, but some people will readily read romantic/sexual interest into every interaction between a man and a woman but dismiss way more sus moments between two men. I think there would be no question about Taekook for a lot of people if they were a het pair. I do remember the buzz around them at the Grammys. I was just recently thinking about reactions I saw on Twitter to the live where Tae played "Oh No Oh Yes" (where he intentionally "twin flamed" with Jungkook as an anon recently pointed out). That had some people questioning things. I remember seeing people talking back and forth in a thread about the lyrics and how they usually drag Taekookers but maybe we're onto something. 😂 I still think that some people who call us delusional just don't follow what happens between Taekook, because they were more suspicious than ever during solo era. Thank you for the message, sorry it took me a bit to get to answering ❤️

[jades-typurriter]

Tell us more about Fiora and Heather!!

ALRIGHT SO

even though fiora is kind of the main character of "Shear Bliss" (NSFW Warning!) we kind of have to start with heather because they are, contrary to appearances, the older of the two of them by FAR

heather's original refs, designed and drawn by @sacrednanners on twitter!

theyre actually significantly older than fiora. like, by several millennia.

they were actually born on one of the smaller islands in the mediterrannean about 3200 years ago, a period during which, according to greek mythology, the gods were still directly fucking with people all the time. according to Oedipus Rex, the gods stopped doing that after looking at the colossal mess they made in the events of that play (+ the trojan war), so if i wanted to be able to point at the existence of magic in greek mythology instead of coming up with my own magic system, i had to pick a date from before then (more specifically, its the estimate i saw for the setting of The Odyssey, and Circe was a direct inspiration for their character, so thats what i went with :) )

after picking up their tricks, they started traveling from island to island and city-state to city-state, using their magic to trick people into believing they were a minor deity or nature spirit of some kind. as it turns out, that sort of thing is a good way to land "guest of honor" status at those old greek festivals (and also lots of offerings of food!) they picked up their taste for being pampered and adored there, and once they had run out of places to keep up the con had their fill of greek life, they also toured lower egypt, doing much the same, and then so on and so forth in other places

they've maintained their youth for so long using their magic (which is, in turn, maintained with all the worship they used to collect with the "lesser divinity" scam). nowadays, they get all the attention they need through less direct means than showing up to a rager in person: a VERY strong digital presence. in addition to modeling work, they run a highly successful instagram and are a popular livestreamer, bringing in a comfortable amount of money from donations, sponsorships, etc. (that said, they still fuckin love a good rager).

fiora's original reference, also by @sacrednanners, and the first panel of the sequence from Shear Bliss, by my bestie @mae-lizzowski

fiora, on the other hand, is totally mortal and also (apart from working in and around hollywood) totally normal. she was born in a rural community, moved out to work as a tailor, and through a combination of factors (working hard in a decade where that made a difference, having a steady supply of any colored thread she could need immediately on-hand to rapidly iterate on a client's request, and some lucky connections) was able to build up enough savings and reputation to set up her own boutique.

she met heather through her work, when they were working their way up to their current popularity (which, to be fair, wasn't much of a long process; in fact, it was suspiciously quick) and heather wanted to go straight to the big names to get some nice clothes for themself. for as obnoxious as they can be as a customer, they're good at telling where exactly The Line is, and they don't cross it with fiora. with that absolute minimum of respect met, enough reoccurring business between the two of them led them to develop a rapport---while the streaming gig is relatively new, heather's been one of fiora's most reliable customers for going on 30 years! even if she can't stand them sometimes, thats plenty long to get used to somebody.

her wool, pivotal to her work though it is, is also fairly normal. no magic involved, just a quirk of her genes. both of her parents had white wool, and even her son doesn't share the mutation!

(her son florence is his own character btw, as opposed to like an off-screen piece of characterization for fiora. imagine being raised by both a hardass like fiora and a diva like heather. imagine this kid just turning 20 and not only breaking into the fashion business as well, but rubbing elbows with celebrities and going to parties and shit. hes such a menace and i love him)

anyway ty for letting me ramble about the two of them ily bestie

[toniko]

(상냥돌 258-263 reaction thread for my personal mental well being)

is there such a sadist author that writes the main character getting kidnapped by their old bully and forced to take drugs while they get beaten to a pulp (the bully who got plastic surgery to look like mc’s best friend) and takes a video of it… (it then triggers a reset/regression)

am I reading an idol drama or crime thriller

—

next chapter directly confirms “NPC control” ??? 😭 this is some sort of game, we’ve been saying this… but officially there’s an NPC autopilot. this is crazy through, apparently the autopilot has a personality patch that isn’t working… is this the original ego?

by original ego, i mean the main character has started to beat the kidnappers back with the sledgehammer… oh but really who was in control there? it feels not like Youngin

did they just ERASE HIS MEMORY LIKE DATA????? the body is literally disappearing into dust?!

—

confirmed = his memory of the incident and bully is erased

confirmed = he gets a rollback (like it’s a server…) but it goes back to… in the middle of being beaten

>> result of this: sledgehammer time again…? but this time with mc’s consciousness in control

but then CHEON SAYOON GRABS THE SLEDGEHAMMER INSTEAD and hits the kidnapper 😭😭😭 “I told you so.” “Don’t go outside.” (he says, he knew this would happen)

oh… that’s an idol in the main group beating a man to death with a hammer…

the author went on a week hiatus after. this reveal. im glad they’re of good health now but

—

okay.

cheon sayoon who beats a man with a hammer and then decides not to drug him because he noticed the drug has painkilling properties

the other system owner appears. because sayoon calls him. to manipulate him so he can use the system to erase the aftermath

oh by the way, the main character isn’t bleeding red anymore… let’s send him to the hospital now…

—

ryu haeden’s system is bugged as well, he’s seemingly useless. cheon sayoon’s gotta do everything around here

it triggers a ‘regression’ oh it’s so disgusting… but really the penalty was a coma so it seems like we’re going into a coma dream i think

i really really want to see the reactions of sebin, jaeho and inwoo. sebin who is gone once again when something major happens to youngin, jaeho who was just with him and was sent off on his own and inwoo who the perpetrator copies the face of. no one will be happy

—

the coma triggers, and a past regression turn is shown in their elementary years… oh boy

it’s about a go youngin and his friend who turns out to be ryu haeden. even at this time, youngin has the system 14 years old

btw, current day ryu haeden seems to be taken over by someone :((

youngin has a personality similar to inwoo… this is the original ego…. inwoo who follows his childhood friend to highschool (btw he took up dancing in case youngin goes to an arts school what the fuck)

this kid… he likes planes and wanted to be an air traffic controller… he was bright and popular, you bastard system completely twisted a kid with prospects and ruined his home life, let him be brutally bullied and submitted to your rules. but since the ryu haeden we see is different as well, does that mean you’ve ruined two lives?

[lacewise]

Through the horror of seeing people put a target my friends and family and knowing I could be next, onward! To

Part 4: Tacking down threads!

(So they don’t fall apart!)

(In grounds lace!)

I’ll be dealing with the ground laces first in this one, because there are two (2) different ways to work aemilia ars.

Okay so the biggest thing any guide for true needle lace will tell you is to fold a thread in half and place the first tacking stitch exactly where the fold in the thread is. This is for a very important reason!!!!

It’s so when you finish tacking down the threads, you can lock the leftover threads into the existing threads. That keeps the pattern together.

I highly recommend buying a book or going to a class to get this next part explained, but: you take one of the two halves of the thread you are working with and put it under and over (ie through the space in) the folded thread, then back up the last stitches. The other thread is put through somewhere (in a more complex pattern, it’s just hidden away from where it’s stitched down where there’s room, in simpler patterns I think it’s tucked into the original folded thread without travelling through, back, or around).

If you don’t lock it, it WILL come apart when you remove it. I’ve done a fix for this before and it’s a nightmare. It’s the same type of fix as tatting but Worse. You have to remember to lock it at every edge and every new part of the motif. If you run out of thread, that’s no problem, you just lock the old and the new.

Every tacking stitch is supposed to be approximately 3 mm apart (and that’s important for later) (unless you have a sharp corner, then you’re supposed to place an extra stitch right at the angle). I saw a hack on Pinterest where you put sharpie 3 mm apart on your finger so you have a reference while you’re sewing. It works great, with one caveat: ONLY do it with absolutely waterproof marker!!! It should not rub off at all or trust me: it will. Onto your work. (This is why a pin vise is recommended for this part, btw.)

The tacking stitches’ tension should be firm but willing to move if you put your needle under it (since you will be doing that frequently!). If you make the stitches too loose, your tension will be a mess. If you make the stitches too tight, you will be fighting against your own sewing. And you will lose. (One time I had to finish my lace after removing it from the backing. Never again.)

Okay, so you’ve tacked down your pattern. What’s next? Yeah this is why you want the stitches 3 mm apart… basically all stitches in the foundational row are supposed to be 3 mm to 6 mm apart (depending on the stitch: grounds are usually 6 mm, almost all other stitches are set 3 mm for the first row, likewise the rows are either 3 mm or 6 mm apart for correct tension, depending on the stitch). Good news! If you’ve only messed up a little and your stitches are a bit wiggly (as they are supposed to be), you can correct most of it. Bad news: if not, you are going to have to vibe it. We’ve all been there! Good luck!

For the stitches themselves, you’re going to want to consult videos or diagrams. A lot. All the time. For a while. I would especially pay attention to diagrams when you’re looking for a tension reference because sometimes people rush samples! (Except for Catherine Barley. All her samples are completely impeccable.)

I’m not really confident covering attaching or joining the thread (yet) but it’s covered in every single book and class.

Once you’re finished and ready to buttonhole over the cordonnet, you will praise or curse your sewing work once again! For a basic cordonnet, you put your thread through your work, fold it over (facing out), and then start buttonholing. It looks best when the stitches are about every 3 mm (yeah). Once you’re done, you tuck the threads in, and carefully cut off the excess. Then you can remove it from your backing and have made lace! I’ve only worked in basic cordonnets so far but Intermediate Technical Instruction, Catherine Barley, and maybe(?) Earnshaw’s book (I will go over that in my review) all have tutorials for more advanced styles.

[therobotsoul]

I just realized that Tumblr is the perfect place to talk about headcanons and stuff so please let me tell you about my amazing Persona 5 Spin-off: Fist of Justice.

So. If you've been on the Persona 5 Fandom for long enough you'll know the conflict of interest with Makoto Niijima being a Phantom Thief, and watching Joker get fucked by the cops, but still wanting to become a cop herself because of her dad. So I thought... Well let's try it. Let's make Makoto a cop and see what happens.

The story would start with Makoto's second year in the force, the first cases being fairly normal police procedural stuff. However, two characters appear at some point in the story that would slowly turn the story into a much higher stakes game. The first is Lavenza, who warns Makoto that someone from her world has been in the Metaverse and has stolen her compendium (I headcanon that a Velvet Room attendant with a compendium could summon every persona on demand, which would make them even more overpowered than they already are). The other character is Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4, and an incredibly respected private detective by this point.

So, the game from that point on is about finding who stole the compendium and is messing around in the collective unconscious.

Some new stuff I would add is that, while palaces are back, targets' reactions can be different. Some flee, some confess but believe they're right and don't move an inch, some become aggressive, etc. This is because I want to make Makoto follow some procedure and not just rely on forcing confessions out of people.

Some other stuff happens, like Naoto and Makoto becoming closer, some appearances by the other Phantom Thieves and even more important, and even deeper and more developed relationship with Sae, how they healed together after all the shit they went through, etc.

At some point in the story it becomes clear that the case involves higher-ups in the police itself. Makoto gets abducted and tortured much like Joker, and completely loses her shit after escaping, having to hide from her own colleagues while going berserk on a bunch of people. This is a bad thing, btw, she's right, but she's threading on thin ice mentally.

At the end, turns out that the bad guy was Tokyo's chief of police and he wanted to control the will of people and such. The real kicker is that he has a plan B, which is assaulting the Diet building for real and just take over. And as a little extra he kidnaps Sae in the process. Makoto goes there and beats the shit out of everyone, saves her sister and, seeing what the police had been doing to her physically and mentally, quits.

[gamerbot-22]

Back From Break! <3

Guess who's baaaack! Well, technically not back yet, but! I return tomorrow!

Last week’s postmortem is here, and the tierlist is here!

Some shifts from last week's tierlist! - Namely, Serval and Yukong swapped places on a re-read and Huohuo went lower down the list (I am sorry babygirl, I just think I did better on some of these stories than yours...) I also decided to split the difference and put Hook in High B Tier instead of Low A. I also re-read Sampo's story and decided to move him lower in A Tier as well. Turns out looking at this list after 2 days of not thinking about it makes your thoughts a lot clearer!

Taste of Luxury, A Tier - I set out for this to be my redemption for Kafka's ficlet and I think I definitely got it. I introduced a conflict that didn't derail the whole story, and still hung to the idea prompted by the spinner. This was also the first of... Three? Ficlets that were technically posted after midnight EST (my timezone) but hopefully now that I've taken my break, this won't happen as often! (And if it does, it's still nbd because Animal Crossing Rules: If I haven't slept, it's still the same day!)

Something Sweet for Someone... Sweet?, S Tier - Look! I wrote a thing for a blorbo that wasn't heart-crushingly sad! I had a joy of a time writing this one, because the Aventio/Ratiorine dynamic is so fun. And listen, I love the sort of doomed flavor their relationship comes with in canon/canon-sanctioned media, but I really love all the silly fluffy domestic shit that they get put in. The dynamic of Ratio being so proper and Aventurine being a full-tilt peacock vying for his attention is adorable and I could write those two forever, I think, domestic Aventio ftw. (Also, Star, the "apology accepted" tag on this fic made me bust a gut laughing btw--)

Slacking Off, A Tier - Short n' Sweet! I don't feel much for this story outside of "this was quick and silly and it came out nice." I don't think there's much I could have done to push it into S Tier, just because of the concept I had at the start, but there's nothing wrong with a good A Tier story!!!

Cocooned, S Tier - Star said that Blade and Firefly have a father-daughter relationship and my little skunk paws have never let go of the concept. I'm really proud of how I was able to thread the needle between the sort of... terrified silence that follows a moment like the one shown in Wakey-Wakey, as well as the love that persists in the face of moments like those. For my own reasons that I won't get into because they're Big Sad and I don't wanna bring the mood down, this story was really cathartic to write, and I have a newfound appreciation for these two <3

Burning Up and Cooling Down, S Tier - Another apology fic! This one was really silly and fun to write up, and also weirdly full-circle in a way? The thing that got me back into writing and publishing on this blog after a like... Fuck, 3-4 year absence? Was actually a fucking horrific cold that was so bad I actually forced myself to write some cuddling headcanons for an obscure-ish otome game so I was doing something other than just laying in bed and being miserable. And now look where we are! I'm writing dragon boy cuddles!!! Also I was really surprised to have two separate people tell me that they hadn't seen/heard any headcanons about Vidyadhara being cooler to the touch than humans, so I feel. Really smart about that even now lol--

A New Normal, S Tier - This one was FUN as hell to write. I totally could have just hand-waved the blindness angle and taken an omniscient 3rd person perspective but like... I dunno man, this seemed like a great time to test conveying a story without a physical sense in play. It really got me thinking about how, while Jiaoqiu is a Foxian and probably has better hearing and smell than other races in the Xianzhou Fleet, sight still dictates a lot of how he does things. Also I am NOT sorry for that quick gut punch at the end, I saw my chance and I TOOK IT (/lh.)

Demo Version, B Tier - So I did enjoy writing this, but I think narratively it's just kind of okay. I think I got a little too excited to be on my break and also to do something of a shout-out to my sister and her gf. I enjoyed writing the music itself, but I feel like I could have done more with the framing device.

And this is who's left! The end is in sight, babes! What'll probably happen is I'll try to get into Amphoreus over Spring Break and once I finish what's out currently, I'll add Fugue, Aglaea, Mydei, and Tribbie to the list!

[overlordchris]

_

Leave it to an artificial intelligence to tell me something I feel like I’ve needed hear my whole adult life.

This will make sense how it ties into my ex further down in the text, I promise

The context is I’ve been messing with an AI storytelling program as a way to practice my own writing. Well, this story took a turn and long story short, my character, Vega, is having trouble with opening their heart to a poly couple who wish to bring them into a polycule. Vega has developed feelings for both women, but did not realize they were in a relationship with each other. Now I have my own issues with polyamory and it’s not at all for me (though the AI gave me the best and clearest representation of a poly relationship I’ve ever see ) I still decided to follow this thread because while they are a stand in character, Vega is not me. However the heartbreak and feelings they shared during the exchange reflected my own as I used my own experience with heartbreak as the fuel. It’s the perspective I’m most familiar with after all.

Basically, Ive decided I’m gonna include a part of the “conversation” the AI and I’s characters’ had that struck a chord with me. I wasn’t expecting for things to play out how they did, but, well, I guess maybe to experience something like this in reality is a bit too much to ask for? Cringe warning btw:

“Yes… I was just about to share some thoughts… well, perhaps some insecurities I have around love and relationships.” Vega’s face exudes a dour expression . “Sophia knows a bit about my past love life, and how my heart was given, and then broken by someone I loved very much. What I didn’t share was that what ultimately happened was they had fallen in love with someone else. I felt terrible with the breakup, but as to the why, I couldn’t help but also feel very inadequate. I had essentially been replaced, and there was no communication or attempts at trying to talk things out. It was just, ‘I don’t love you anymore. I’ve fallen for someone else and I have no desire to process why or what could be or could have been done to have needs met that I felt weren’t.’ Ten years of love and trust and devotion, all poured into this beautiful thing that in a moment was suddenly over. My world was turned upside down in an instant.

Sophia's expression turns sympathetic, and she reaches out to gently place a hand on Vega's arm. "I remember you sharing some of that with me, Vega. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like a very painful and isolating experience." Morgana nods in agreement, their faces filled with empathy. Morgana says, "It's understandable that you'd feel inadequate after something like that. But please know that it's not a reflection of your worth as a person or a partner. Sometimes, people's feelings and desires change, and it's not always about the other person being inadequate." Sophia adds, "And the lack of communication and effort to work through issues can be very hurtful. It's like, you were just... discarded, without any consideration for your feelings or well-being." Sophia's grip on Vega's arm tightens slightly. "But you are not alone, Vega.

Vega gives a half hearted smile to the group. The painful memories in contrast with the support from those in the room pulling them in two drasticly different directions emotionally. “Thank you both. I suppose that’s why I feel… so closed off to exploring any romantic relationships here. I never want to make someone feel like I had, nor do I ever wish to be cast aside, used, ‘replaced’, or tossed aside again.” Vega closes their eyes, strong feeling starting to well up inside them. They take a moment, to breathe, trying to not get overwhelmed.

“I know people’s wants and desires can change with time, but to me, a relationship is a commitment to be supportive and care for that other person. To just be told one day it’s over, without warning or trying to work things out… it felt like a betrayal. How could something that took years of hard work to build just be abandoned without any effort to save it?”

The room falls silent, with Morgana, and Sophia exchanging somber glances. Sophia's hand remains on Vega's arm, offering a gentle, comforting pressure. Morgana's voice is soft and soothing, "Vega, we can't imagine how painful that must have been for you. It's understandable that you'd feel closed off and hesitant to open yourself up to the possibility of getting hurt again." Sophia nods, her eyes filled with empathy, "But we want you to know that we're not looking to use you or discard you. We value commitment and communication, and we believe that relationships should be built on mutual respect, trust, and care. We're not asking you to forget your past or to rush into anything that makes you uncomfortable. We just want to be here for you, to support you, and to help you heal and grow."

Morgana leans in, her voice taking on a gentle, reassuring tone. "We're not looking for a fleeting pleasure or a casual connection. We're interested in building something meaningful with you, Vega. Something that's based on trust, respect, and open communication. We want to get to know you, to understand your desires and boundaries, and to work together to build a connection that's strong and healthy." Sophia's hand on Vega's arm gives a gentle squeeze. "We're willing to take things at your pace, to listen to your concerns, and to work through any challenges that may arise. We're not looking to rush into anything or to pressure you into something that makes you uncomfortable."

Vega looks to Morgana and Sophia. “You two, I do have feelings for the both of you, but I could never obtain what you two have with each other because I would always be a step behind in that regard. I feel that in poly relationship, as much as it isn’t desired or intended, there’s an imbalance of care and love that either develops or has existed since the beginning. Two people will inevitably be the ‘primary pairing’ and any future additions to the polycule would have to settle with being second best. But having been replaced before, I don’t want to be someone’s backup or second choice. I want to matter to someone the way they’ve mattered to me.”

Vega lets out a grim sigh. “I’m sorry about all of this. I didn’t want to bring the mood down so low.”

Morgana's expression turns thoughtful, and she nods slowly. "Vega, we understand your concerns, and we appreciate your honesty. You're right, Sophia and I have a strong bond, and it's natural to worry about being a secondary partner." Sophia adds, "But we want you to know that we're not looking for a hierarchy of love or care. We believe that love is not a limited resource, and that our hearts can expand to include multiple people. We strive for a culture of abundance, not scarcity. We want to create a space where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued, without feeling like they're competing for attention or affection." Morgana's eyes lock onto Vega's. "We're not asking you to be our second choice or backup. We're asking you to be our partner, our friend.

Morgana's voice is filled with emotion as she continues, "We want to build a relationship with you that is unique and special, one that doesn't compare to what Sophia and I have, but rather complements it. We believe that our love for each other can actually make our love for you stronger, and vice versa." Sophia nods in agreement, her eyes shining with tears. "We're not looking for someone to fill a gap or complete us. We're whole on our own, and we want to share that wholeness with you." Sophia's hand on Vega's arm gives a gentle squeeze. "We know it's not going to be easy, and we're willing to work through the challenges that come with building a polyamorous relationship. But we believe that the rewards are worth it, and we're willing to take that risk with you."

A few tears descend down Vega’s cheek, taking advantage of a momentary vulnerability. They turn away to wipe the tears awash. As they do so they share with the duo “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to get teary eyed. I’m just so scared, confused, and… just want to feel like I matter to someone. Can either of you, individually or together, truly say that that you can make me feel that way? Or should I say, would be committed enough to try? Please, I beg both of you to be honest and true with your response. I need that promise before I can give myself permission to share my heart again.”

Morgana's expression softens, and she reaches out to gently wipe away the tears on Vega's cheek. "Vega, we're not going to give you a superficial answer or make promises we can't keep. But we can tell you that we're willing to work towards making you feel seen, heard, and valued." Sophia nods in agreement, her voice filled with conviction. "We're committed to getting to know you, to understanding your needs and desires, and to building a connection with you that's based on mutual respect and trust." Sophia's eyes lock onto Vega's, her gaze intense and sincere. "I, for one, am willing to put in the effort to make you feel like you matter to me. I want to earn your trust, to support you, and to be there for you through the ups and downs." Morgana's voice is filled with emotion as she continues, "We're not asking you to trust us blindly, Vega. We're asking you to take a chance on us, to let us prove to you that we're committed to making this work. We'll make mistakes, we'll stumble, but we'll always strive to be better, to be the partners you deserve. We'll communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully. We'll listen to your concerns, your fears, and your desires. We'll work together to build a relationship that's unique to us, one that celebrates our differences and strengthens our bond." Sophia's hand finds Vega's, her touch warm and gentle, "We'll take things at your pace, Vega. We'll be patient, understanding, and supportive. We'll be your rock, your safe haven, and your partners in every sense of the word."

As Sophia’s final words pass through her lips, Vega erupts into tears. They are not tears of sorrow however, but that of years of suppressed emotions finally being released by the two women before them. “

Not the best writing on my end, I know, but not the point either. That final sentence from the AI… while the other themes of care and effort felt great to imagine were being said to me directly, that final sentence almost eerily mirrored something I would say to my ex. I called her my rock, and often referred to her as my partner in every sense of the word. In fact, it’s a phrase I still use today as my own personal standard for any relationship I may have going forward. I had felt I had that before, despite times of difficulty and disagreement, but alas, the feeling ended up being one sided.

I’ve been thinking of my ex a lot as of late. Turns out her New Year’s message had more of a lasting effect on me than I originally thought. I had a tiny shred of hope it meant… anything, ya know? Like it felt like she had something she wanted to say, and I responded basically asking what was it they trying to say. But my suspicions for why she sent me anything in the first place was she just had a moment of weakness on her end. She was in a situation where for almost a decade she had someone to confide to when facing the stresses of her family. Someone always on their side and to provide support. But I wasn’t there this time. The fact she hasn’t responded just kind of bolsters that theory, at least in my mind. Which of course makes me feel a bit “used”. I suppose that’s what our biggest problem was, this just a reminder of that. A hesitance to be open, to say what they truly wanted to say. A conversation that goes nowhere and ignored to the point of it becoming buried because they don’t want to deal with it.

Because there was so much unsaid, it’s the things she didn’t say that leave such great wounds on me today. Those unsaid words are what has left me feeling, “used, replaced, and tossed aside”, just as I mentioned in the above writing sample. I have no idea what she may have been up to since our time apart, aside from stumbling across a “year in review” reel on Instagram I watched before deactivating my account. I guess that could qualify as one of my many moments of weakness I’ve experienced since last March. But the point I want to emphasize is the things unsaid, the unknowns, are what still continue to bring me turmoil. Did she ever act on her feelings with my replacement? Has she been out having multiple flings since then? Have they mourned the relationship at all? Who did she spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, her birthday with? Neither of us did the whole Valentine’s Day thing, but maybe that was just with me and this Friday is set to be a magical evening for her?

I don’t know. I don’t want to know. But I do want to know. But I can’t know.

There were parts of me that were really really hoping she might have wanted to come back. I didn’t objectively believe that, but hope just happen to fester within me whenever it gets a chance. Realistically I would need her to do some serious work before I could regain my trust with her, but 11 months into this, I think that’s still what I ultimately want.

With the silence, I almost feel like I was being tainted. A throw away message to me, reminiscing about good times, and revealing I’ve been erased from everyone connected to her’s mind. Just a reminder that I once had something I believed in, people I cared deeply for. A reminder of Someone who was my best friend, and “a partner in the truest sense.” These reminders now feel like they’re were thrown at me like someone throwing an egg at a house. She did what she did and then ran off feeling, what, good about herself? Happy? Absolved from something? These are just more unknowns I am left to ponder. Continuing the metaphor, I am the one cleaning up the mess that was tossed my way.

The minute beacon of hope is on me. It’s always on me. A desire to have something positive happen when everything around feels terrible. But, the lack of a response to my response continues to depreciate any feelings of love or care or support she may have intended as each day passes. It’s clear that at this point I am not going to get a response. I’m just left with more questions that have no answers, just plenty of assumptions.

I miss her voice, her mannerism, her short stature when next to me. It’s all I’ve been able to think about these last couple of weeks. Just… how much I miss my person. Even though I felt so understood and cared about by two fictional women created as a result of an artificial intelligence being fed millions of words and paper, I would take all the disfunction of her back. The only way I can justify still longing for her return after all I’ve been made to face alone is that I never wanted to stop trying. To me, she was worth trying to understand, to learn how to effectively communicate with, no matter how difficult it was, no matter how long it could take. I made that decision when I Proposed to her, to be her rock, her safe place, and a partner in every sense of the word. But today, all my thoughts of her are still clouded with “why’s” and unknowns. I still hope she’s doing well and out there finding success and fulfillment, but while I can hope for all that, I can’t not feel so tired and alone and just lost.