#there's more but now I'm angry that I'm always fucking dismissed when I say there's problems

[bad-at-metaphors]

Say what you want i have such a history of being right when i feel like something is wrong and nobody ever believes me until the conses have quenced

We could have avoided so many unfortunate events if motherfuckers would listen to me when I say "hey I know I'm not a professional but something here ain't sitting right, can someone with more knowledge on the subject investigate?"

[warblogs17282]

Still thinking about the Truth Seekers line where Loona said,

"Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious, which means I don't open it until--"

And now, I'm thinking about all the different emotional and heavy-hitting moments from Blitz, but from the lens of that statement, and I'd like to explore that in a little more depth.

Because I feel like looking through some key moments of Blitz through the lens of that statement helps to add another layer of depth to what Blitz has been saying.

S2 E9:

Blitzo: No, I just- This was the final stop on the apology tour I've been on today.

Stolas: Oh, yes, I recall. Everyone but me is getting your cheap apologies tonight, hm? Well, you certainly have your work cut out for you.

Blitzo: Look, how I acted this morning... It was fucked, okay?

Stolas: This morning? Ugh, why did you show up there? Why'd you show up here?

Blitzo: You already asked that, but look, I-I just really need to... To talk to you, to- to explain.

Stolas: Oh?

Blitzo: I've always been real shit at sorries, 'kay? They're for pussies and no one fuckin' deserves them anyway, but I felt maybe you actually needed one.

Stolas: Ooh, lucky me!

Blitzo: Oh, shit. Okay, what I mean is, I said sorry a lot today and, honestly, didn't really mean any of it. Because the only one I wanted to say it to... Was you, Stolas. I just... This whole thing we had going... I'm- I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?

Stolas: Blitzo. There is a crowd full of people here, who cared so much, they'd throw an entire fucking party about hating you, every year! Do you know how much you have to care to do something as stupid as that?

Blitzo: Stolas, you are better off without me. 'Kay? You deserve so much... I don't even know why you would want to be with me.

'I mean you're a fucking prince.' Blitz is technically correct here, but if we consider the Truth Seekers statement, I believe it tells us that Blitz, at least subconsciously, sees Stolas as more than just a prince during this scene, he sees Stolas the man here, not just Stolas the prince. And honestly, that probably makes it hurt more to Blitz, since he's still in disbelief/denial that Stolas has these feelings for him at this point.

Especially considering what it's followed up with, which I'd like to mention doesn't have a single swear word in it whatsoever, telling us even more just how sincere Blitz is when he said that final line.

Verosika: How do you think I felt? When the fun guy I was dating decided to just bail on me because I made the shitty mistake of saying I love... Ugh! It was the most embarrassing feeling. To be vulnerable for once and... you really just know how to send a message in the shittiest, fucking way.

Verosika: The worst part is you still make me feel like a bad person for being angry at you now.

Verosika: But, hosting this party, for everyone else you've dicked over? At least I can help others cope with the shit you did. What? No snarky comeback?

Blitzo: No. You're right. I actually am, ya' know... sorry. I-I don't want to be this way. Not forever.

Verosika: Looks like Stolas is having a good time.

Blitzo: Yeah, well. He needs it.

Again, just pay attention to the fact that Blitz didn't swear once during the part of the conversation I just showed, showing once again even more just how sincere Blitz is being here, to not be the way he is forever, to let Stolas have his good time at the party.

S2 E8:

Blitzo: What?! FUCK you, Stolas! You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding? Can I get a FUCKING minute to think after everything you put me through, you pompous, rich ASSHOLE?!

Blitzo: Treat me like one of your little butler imps?! You can't just dismiss me like that! I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this EVERY TIME, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as IMPORTANT! Well, I'm not letting you, BITCH! LET'S GO!

Stolas: Blitzo... I think so very highly of you... I didn't realize you think so low of me...

Blitzo: Stolas, wait! I'm s-

You know, the amount of swearing in that part of the episode tells me something, that what Blitz said during the peak of his outburst was exaggerated a little. Does Blitz make some completely valid points during that outburst? Yes. Is what Blitz said during said outburst a bit exaggerated because he was in the heat of the moment? Yes. Both of these can coexist, and I do completely understand why Blitz said what he said during that argument. (I'm not choosing a side on who was in the wrong in the full moon argument here, btw)

And, the lack of swearing when the realisation hits to Blitz of what he's just done, right as he tries to apologise to Stolas just further tells me that Blitz did genuinely mean that 'I'm sorry', he said right before Stolas teleported Blitz out.

S1 E8:

Blitzo: Fuck, Fizz was right. I'm gonna die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered, waste. Will you be there, Loonie?

Loona: Be...where?

Blitzo: I dunno, jus- ...lonely... Die alone...

Loona: I'll be there, Dad.

Loona: Now go the fuck to sleep... okay?

Blitzo: Millie... Moxxie... Stolas...

Again, pay attention to the lack of swearing in that part of the conversation, minus one 'fuck' at the start of it, it just adds to showing us just how raw and genuine Blitz's emotions are during this scene, showing us that Blitz genuinely believes that he's gonna die alone, and also showing us just how much Blitz still cares about Fizzarolli, Loona, Millie, Moxxie and Syolas.

S1 E7:

Stolas: You know, I have some more wine in the house. Octavia's with her mother this weekend. So, we could--

Blitzo: I'm not fucking you tonight, okay? I'm really just I'm really not in the mood, Stolas.

Stolas: We could talk, or... watch a movie, or... maybe cuddle?

Blitzo: Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. But, I just, I-I can't do it tonight, okay?

Blitzo: I'm sorry.

Stolas: Okay. Goodnight, Blitzo.

Blitzo: Night.

What I find interesting here is that the two times the word 'fuck' is used throughout this scene, it's used to replace the word 'sex', so thinking about this scene through the lens of that statement, it shows us even more just how much Blitz believes in what he's saying, especially when he says "Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time."

Finally, S1 E6:

Moxxie: Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?

Blitzo: ...Not really.

Moxxie: I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but... you said that because I needed it... And it helped.

Blitzo: Look, I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for... me, because, y'know, my opinion is correct, but just... keep doing a good job. 'Kay? You shoot 'n kill good, you escape things easy... you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, aaaand don't expect any more compliments; I'm maxed out.

Moxxie: Thank you, sir.

Blitzo: You know my name... Use it.

Moxxie: Thanks, Blitzo.

No euphemisms, innuendos or swears, showing us that when Blitz was talking to Moxxie in this scene, that he was 100% being serious in what he said.

So in conclusion: I have shown multiple examples where if you think about them through the lens of the statement "Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious, which means I don't open it until--", you start to see more depth within those examples I have shown in this post.

[fangsandfeels]

Bioware had continuity issues before...

...but with Veiguard, I feel like this time it just didn't care and was in a hurry to bury the DA world as fast as possible, so it could proceed to finishing Mass Effect off the same way.

Spoiler-y nitpicks and thoughts below

Once again, I'm all for the premise of almost none of the higher beings and deities of Thedas being kind or benevolent - and all of them turning out to be not what they seemed or were promised to be.

It fits the undergoing theme of every group in Thedas subtly believing that their true gods will come and fix everything, and every atrocity, every bloodbath, every sacrifice will be worth it. For the plot to take away that hope and expose how deep the wounds go, how absolutely wrecked this world is (and you can never un-wreck it , would have been absolutely logical and very in tune with the general tone of the series.

The Old Gods

If Archdemons contain not the souls of the Old Gods, but the key to the Evanuris mortality, why was Solas mad at the Grey Wardens for killing them? Why did Mythal/Flemeth needed to preserve the soul of an Old God? Wouldn't she, a betrayed and angry goddess, want to sever her traitors' connection to immortality? Instead, she wanted it "a piece of what once was, snatched from the jaws of darkness". Something, that meant to be saved from corruption and destruction. But now Solas dismisses it by saying that Old Gods were never a thing, it has always been the Evanuris using dragons as their conduits and immortality placeholders?

Then why did you give Grey Wardens so much crap for killing these dragons, Solas?!

Yeah, we can argue that Solas was worrying about the Evanuris not being able to sustain the Veil due to losing their immortality, but he was going to bring it down anyways? So what difference would it have made anyways?

Something doesn't add up.

I think, the most logical thing would have been to leave the Old Gods as the raw magic incarnate - truly a relict from the world back when magic was everywhere. So, it would have make sense for Flemeth, Morrigan and Solas want to preserve it - despite all the destructive potential, it has always belonged to this world. It would have also explained why darkspawn need to infect the slumbering Old Gods - as ancient magical beings, they are attuned to the world, and the taint means to exploit that connection.

2. The taint and the Blight

If the taint is the product of the Titan's anger and desire for vengeance...why can Ghila'nain use it like her own personal Play-Doh? I'd imagine, the pure concentration of wrath and anger should be particularly deadly for the Evanuris - because it's directed against them, first and foremost. I don't mind the Titans being as the general source of the plague - it would explain the Deep Roads and darkspawn behavior. A twisted wish to be whole again, an unfulfilled desire to keep fighting - a constant, never-ending call to arms. It also would have been a nice callback to the state of the Mother from Awakening: she woke up only to realize and remember what has been done to her, which broke her mind and made her desperate to either die or return to that mindless state of rage and destruction. So do the Titans feel, knowing they were mutilated and plundered, broken apart, and are in too much pain to ever forgive or know peace.

If Titans were so connected to the physical world, the taint changing everything it touches would have made sense: life itself twisting and contorting into a weapon, against an attacker it can't see or find. This is truly tragic, horrifying and realistic - taint as a wound that cannot heal, that festers, and rots but never closes. It's a very accurate depiction of trauma caused by a genocidal war.

Therefore, it would have made more sense if the Evanuris were fucking terrified of the taint and the darkspawn because of how devastating it was to them and because they had no clue how to destroy it - they could only contain it and hope it works.

Maybe Ghila'nain tried to master it but barely survived and went mad, modifying her body and "perfecting" herself as a result. It would still have been possible to keep her obsessed with taint - mostly out of pure denial that something can be beyond her control as she believes herself to be the Goddess of Creation.

Also, you can still have your scarier version of more active and virulent taint - just make it change in response to the gods appearing in the physical world. Make it spread more actively, make the darkspawn go into frenzy, make it look like the new Blight is starting - but now it's as if blindly searching for something or someone. Wouldn't that be fucking creepy?

Maybe, for the first time in a long while, the South of Thedas isn't the one to take a hit - instead, the darkspawn are flocking to where the gods are.

(Of course, the question is, why the taint doesn't target the elves specifically? Because of them losing their immortality - the taint isn't exactly sentient, so it perceives them as part of physical world)

It would have posed such an interesting and controversial option for the player: to weaponize the Blight to end the gods.

3. Maker

I remember that the developers mentioned that the Maker never meant to be real. It was meant to represent the humanity's ability to believe in a symbol. But the Veilguard's "the legend about the Maker was actually about magister's breaking into the prison made by Solas and accidentally blighting all around the place" is such an underwhelming conclusion. After all, the Ashes of Andraste meant to imply that there is something. That it's not just a collective gaslighting - but something else.

I feel like they could have made so much with it:

In the context of the taint's connection to the Titans, what if Maker has always been somewhat of an emissary of the taint? It was cut off from the dwarves and locked away - but it needed a way out, right? Even subconsciously, it knew that it has to get out. It was the music that kept playing, the song that called. So, it reached out to other beings of the physical world, whispering to them and beckoning them. Andraste, due to probably being a Dream Walker or extremely sensitive to the Fade, caught a glimpse of that events, but was never able to make sense of it, which led her to fill in the gaps, which led to the creation of andrastianism. Therefore, Maker didn't leave the Golden City - once the taint was released, it fulfilled its purpose.

What if Andraste willed the Maker into existence? Since Fade is attuned to people's dreams, thoughts, and inner worlds, maybe Andraste's connection to it was so strong, it channeled her pain, her wish for justice and salvation into a figure that she believed to be the Maker? What if she was even able to perform miracles with the Maker as her avatar, turning people into believers? So, logically, when she died, the Maker stopped responding: she was no longer there to sustain him. No amount of prayers and sermons, of repressions and murders, of crusades and chats would have made the Maker return - because the only person actually capable of that was burned and killed long ago. This would have also explained why some spirits believe in Maker because they saw him in people's dreams - the Maker never existed in any other shape and it couldn't manifest completely because his image differed based on individual person's imagination and convictions.

After all, the true horror of living is realizing that nobody is control. Nobody is coming to fix things for you. There is no hope - only the consequences you are forced to live in.

[crushculture03]

please do a vinnie imagine about her girlfriend taking off her promise ring after an argument

No Promises

Summary : Vinnie and you get into a fight, which escalates into your taking of your promise ring he gave you

Pairing : Vinnie Hacker x Fem!Reader

Warnings : Cursing, fighting

Notes: Hope you enjoy anon! i’m sorry it’s so short

"Vinnie, where are you?" you shout as you walk up the stairs, anger courses through your veins at each step. This wasn't the first time something like this happened, he had forgotten to pick you up before, but this time was even worse since it was currently pouring outside and you had forgotten an umbrella, so now you trudged up the stairs angry and soaking wet.

You swing his gaming room door open, "Hey baby what's wrong?" he asks, not even taking his eyes away from the screen. "What's wrong?! What's wrong is my boyfriend rather play video games then pick me up from work" you shout. Vinnies eyes go wide, he immediately pauses the game and turns toward you, finally taking in your appearance. "Fuck baby I'm so sorry, I was streaming and time got away from me" he says. You roll your eyes "This is the 3rd time this has happened! And this time I was stood in the pouring rain" you yell, gesturing to your water soaked clothes. "I know I'm sorry baby please I'm sorry it won't happen again" he pleads. "Thats what you said the first two times" you shout back, still in shock that he had forgotten to pick you up again.

"You know what? It's fine really it's fine" you scoff, before turning on your heel and walking to the bathroom so you could change and take a hot shower after being stuck in the pouring rain. Once you were changed and freshly showered, you made your way down to the kitchen to get something warm to drink. You see your boyfriend out of the corner of your eye, but decide to ignore him, as you were still incredibly upset with him.

"Have you calmed down now?" he asks, which infuriates you, he still seems to not be taking anything seriously. "Fuck off Vin" you say, before stomping out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Come on baby you know it was a honest mistake" he says, starting to feel himself get upset at the fact you won't just accept his apology. "Yeah a mistake that happened 3 times" you say back, "Come on you know how important it is to get these streams in, it's what makes money so we can live here!" he snaps. "More important than your girlfriend?" you yell back, in disbelief, "I didn't say that and you know it" he responds back, "Yeah but you implied it" you sneer. "Look if the streams and games are more important, maybe you should give this to your computer" you shout as you pull the promise ring he gave you off your finger and throw it at him, before storming out of the living room and into the guest bedroom.

You slam the door behind you, quickly locking it, before crawling onto the bed and crying. You didn't care if he thought you were overreacting, you knew you had a valid reason to be upset. "Baby please open up" you hear him say as he knocks on the door, but you refuse to move. "Go away Vinnie" you shout back, not wanting to see him.  "Please Y/N can we talk" he begged, "Please just go away" you yell back, before breaking into a sob.

You knew deep down you needed to tell him how you were feeling, not just about this incident, but about your guys relationship. You felt like he started to ignore you lately, you would try to do things with him but he would always say he couldn't because he had to stream. Today was just your breaking point, and when you realized that his games seemed to mean more to him then you.

Vinnie slid down against the locked door, throwing his head in his hands and sighing out of frustration. He knew he fucked up big time, and hoped he could find a away to fix it. "I'm sorry y/n, I know i've been dismissive towards you lately, fuck i'm so stupid. I guess sometimes I get so in the zone I forget what's going on around me, which I know is a shitty excuse but its true. You have every right to be pissed at me. I've been such a shitty boyfriend lately, just know things are going to be different now I promise." he says, before standing up.

Before he could walk away you opened the door. He turns to face you "Baby I'm so sorry" he says, and walks towards you. "I know vin" you say back, "It just feels like this relationship has been so one sided lately and I feel like I'm just not important to you anymore" you say as tears pour down your face. His heart breaks when he hears you say that. "Y/N, you're the most important thing In my life, I'm sorry that I ever made you doubt that" he says and pulls you into a tight embrace.

The two of you cry in eachothers arms for a few minutes before pulling away. "How about we watch movie together, then tomorrow go out on a date and just spend the whole day together, just you and me, no technology" he suggests. You nod your head "Sounds good Vin" you respond. You hope that what he promised would come true and knowing Vinnie it probably would.

"Do you have the ring?" you ask, as the two of you are curled up on the couch. "Yeah" he says, as he pulls the ring out of his pocket. You put your hand out for him, signaling for him to slid it back on your finger. He finally takes the hint and slowly slides the promise ring back on your finger. "I love you" he says, "I love you too" you respond, before pulling him in for a kiss.

[violetarks]

visitor

show: alice in borderland

character: chishiya shuntaro

summary: you visit your idiot brother at the while he's injured and in the process, meet someone new. you caught his eye and now you have another reason to visit so often.

warnings: g/n! reader, they/them pronouns used, spoilers for season 2 episode 8

"you're so dumb!" you call as you walk into the room, a doctor flailing behind you in worry. but you only focus your eyes on your brother, who lays in the bed fully, glancing back with you. an annoyed sigh leaves his lips before he closes his eyes. "i told you i'd pick you up! and then i get a call saying you were already there? and you were in an accident!"

niragi knew you'd be the first to come. the only, actually. but he could never deal with your shouting, especially not when it happened so frequently. it's been a day since the accident, and he has finally woken up.

you put your bag on the floor against the bedside table. "you could stand to listen to me at least once! this is why you're always getting hurt and i'm always the one checking up on you."

you made it sound like a hassle, but the both of you know that no matter what, you would stick by. you made a promise to yourself to make your brother a better person, and niragi vowed to protect you from the bullies in life. you needed each other.

"yeah, yeah, i got it. god, you're so fucking loud." he grumbles back to you, "can't you see i'm in pain?"

you hold your angry gaze before a bit of sadness falls in. you stand at his side, pressing a gentle hand to the bandages on his arm. "you look like shit, suguru." you mutter out under your breath, "the hell were you doing there so early? we were supposed to meet at 2!"

"i got tired of waiting! i was calling you to tell you to hurry the fuck up!" he exclaimed, making you drop your jaw, "how about you answer your phone next time, huh?"

you retract your hand, pointing an accusing finger at your brother. "i told you, moron, i was in a meeting! 2 was the earliest i can do!"

"ah, please... there are other patients in this room..." the doctor says, waving his hand to dismiss the situation, "we don't want to cause a ruckus..."

you look back to the doctor. "sorry, i forgot..." you say in a quieter tone. your eyes gaze upon the two other occupants in the room, both staring right back at you in frozen shock. you give a little bow. "i apologise, i just needed to talk to this... dumbass... but i promise, no more yelling."

"thank fuck."

"suguru."

"it's alright." the furthest one, in the corner near the window, says to you. he has a bandage on his cheek, and grins to you softly.

the one beside your brother, notably taking his eyes off of you and on your brother. "don't worry about it. this guy your boyfrend or something?"

"oh, hell no." you laugh, the doctor then leaving the room, deeming it safe, "he's my older brother."

suguru glares back at the man beside him. "are you stupid?"

in response, he raises his brow at the stranger's words. you widen your eyes and slap your brother's shoulder. "shut up, suguru!" you scoff, turning back to the strangers, "sorry about him, he can't read social cues... my name is y/n."

the black-haired man in the back sits up, throwing his legs off the side of the bed. "i'm arisu. it's nice to meet you." he says.

the blonde speaks up, "chishiya. it's a pleasure."

arisu stands up, holding his back a bit. "i'm going to go get a drink." he states, leaving the room.

chishiya keeps his eye on you. you were obviously so caring of your brother that you would berate him this much. but your tone conveyed an annoyed feeling. your face showed that you were stressed, but relief had washed over you when you realised he was as good as he could be.

"there's a chair here, stop standing there." suguru tells you, nodding to the space in between him and chishiya at the ends of their beds. you walk around, taking the spot, ignoring his ignorant voice.

"the doctors said they wanted to run you through a couple more tests." you say, your voice sounding softer now as you stare at your brother, "they're going to come in soon."

"more tests? fuck, they won't let me go." suguru grumbles, leaning his head back against the pillow. he hated the stares people gave him because of all the bandages on his face. he hated being small in their eyes. "whatever... you staying? or heading out after i leave?"

you think for a moment, tapping your knee, before you respond, "i'll stay. i want to talk to you some more before i leave."

as if on time, the doctor from earlier comes in, holding a clipboard with quite a few papers on it. "mr niragi, we've set up the rooms for testing." he claims, looking at the both of you, "although, there are many. this would take at least an hour."

suguru looks back at you as nurses come in, ready to transport him to the first test. "you still gonna' stay? you'll be lonely, like a loser." you give him a look.

"they won't be lonely." chishiya speaks up, leaning comfortably against the bed. he smiles at your brother, with some teasing hint behind it. "i'll keep them company."

"i already hate you." suguru claims, beginning to move out of the room while he hears your chuckle at chishiya's claim. soon enough, he's gone and the door is closed. just you and chishiya.

you rub the back of your neck with a big sigh, "he's going to be the death of me... i can't help but worry for that guy."

chishiya sits up, leaning away from the bed's support. "he does seem to be a bit of a handful." he says in response, "you have it all together for the both of you, hm?"

you shrug your shoulders, staring back at the guy. it was strange, he didn't look to be injured. "so what happened to you? if you don't mind me asking."

chishiya smiles, placing a hand over his stomach first. "impaled. twice, what are the chances?" he says, "missed any vital organs, so that's a plus."

"you sound weirdly fine with being impaled twice." you say, smiling awkwardly. chishiya shrugs. he grins back at you softly, and you can't help but stare for a few more seconds. he sure was pretty. "so... job?"

"is this a first date?" he raises his brow.

"i would hardly call this place suitable for a first date." you joke, shaking your head, "maybe when you're out of here."

chishiya stops, his brows lifting a little more and his lips parting. you were confident, he could give you that, it was obvious that you and suguru were related. the way you smile at his silence makes his chest squeeze, and he sits up straighter under your heavy gaze.

"i should be released in the next few weeks." chishiya states, tilting his head at you, "and to answer your question, i'm a medical student."

"smart." you say, impressed. chishiya nods his head, asking about your job. "i'm a part of a publishing firm."

"creative." he compliments.

the both of you talk for the hours that your brother is busy doing tests. usually, chishiya wouldn't spend all this time just speaking to a stranger. but you were kind and didn't make him feel uncomfortable in silences. you would fill them with questions or simply just explaining things about you and your brother. chishiya was glad you weren't the nervous type.

you began to come over more in your spare time, dropping off supplies for your brother and talking to him for a while with chishiya in the background listening. sometimes, suguru would be out on his walk or in physical therapy (without telling you so you couldn't follow) and you'd be in the hospital room waiting for his return. but it was okay, chishiya was always there to keep you company. he'd tell you all the things that the doctor's were saying about your brother, what it meant, and most importantly, his progress.

you learnt from what he told you that your brother would be sent home after a month. relief washed over you and you thanked him. chishiya was more than happy to help, especially seeing how glad that made you.

"do you know when you'll be released?" you questioned that same day he informed you of suguru's last day.

chishiya, who sits across from you in the open hospital yard at a coffee table, watches as you stir your drink. it was his idea to leave the room today and get some coffee or tea, feeling stuffy in that room (and quite lonely since his only friend arisu was occupied by some girl he heard named usagi) and you just happened to drop by as he was getting ready to leave, your brother out of sight. so he asked you to come along, enjoying your smile as you accept.

"itching for that first date?" he mutters to you, leaning back in his spot.

you chuckle, "that wasn't the point. you know, after suguru comes home, i won't have a proper reason to visit the hospital anymore. they only allowed family to come see the patients, with how many there are."

you made a good point there. chishiya doesn't think he's seen anybody other than you or arisu's father or brother come around to visit them. and judging by niragi's personality, he was surely stringing some girls behind, no?

"so, yeah, we can go out on a date when you're released. or we can just continue talking casually." you offer him, holding your drink, "i don't mind."

chishiya raises a brow. he's a bit suspicious. why would you be so willing to spend time around him? some sort of game? he hums, "you don't mind? really?"

you shrug your shoulders as you sip from your cup. when you place it down on the table, chishiya eagerly awaits your response. "i really don't. you know, i like spending time with you, chishiya."

he's only known you for a good two weeks. is that long enough to develop feelings?

he's heard stories from people he worked with and around. proposing on their anniversary, chasing them to the airport before they board, dating since they were fifteen. he's even heard of some couples who move in together mere months after dating. he used to think it was all too fast.

but was it okay for someone to fall in love that quickly?

he decides to test the waters, overturning his hand so his palm is presented to the person in front of him. "i like spending time with you too, y/n."

you reply with a simple grin, resting a gentle hand in his. "that's great. then we can hang out more once you're out of here."

"i'll be released next week. thursday, 9 in the morning." he states, confident that your hand was the only thing keeping him warm in the spring weather. you blink at him, making chishiya nervously tilt his head with a grin. "too soon for you?"

you shake your own head and say, "no, it's not that, it's just that you made it sound like i'd have to wait another fortnight for you to be out of the hospital." you squeeze his hand ever so gently. "i'll spare some time."

"did you want to get breakfast with me?" he asks, nearly too fast for his liking.

you mumble, "what day?"

"thursday." chishiya is confident he is coming off too strong. but who was around to tell him off?

you laugh in response, "now it sounds like you're the one who can't wait." he wants to crumble into the ground. "but sure, i can do thursday. have a spot in mind?"

a loud huff interrupts the both of you. suguru, in crutches, lands in the chair beside you as soon as chishiya goes to answer. he's almost like a bad luck charm. your brother is breathing heavily, leaning his crutches against the table as he lets out a hefty sigh.

"god fucking damn it, i hate these things." he tells you, throwing his head back. the nurse helping him before standing a few feet away to give you privacy, but it was obvious that they were trying to get your brother back to his room. "remind me to never break my leg ever again. this fuckin' sucks."

"i would think so." you murmur to him.

that's when his eyes suddenly go down to your hand, linked with chishiya's on the table. and now, he's confused.

"what the fuck is this?" he questions, furrowed brows. he stared stupidly at you two as you noticed your hands and pull away at the same time. his gaze turns to chishiya first. "you gotta' be messing with me. no way you fell for this smart-ass, y/n."

chishiya places a hand over his heart. "you wound me, niragi." he sarcastically says, finishing off his drink as he stands up, "i'll let the two of you talk. if you need me, i'll be in the room."

he doesn't get very far before you call his name again. chishiya turns around, watching you scribbling something on the spare napkin you brought took you with the pen the nurse so kindly provided. he can already guess what it is, and now he's even more sure this isn't real. nobody would actually write their phone number on a napkin, right?

"feel free to text or call me whenever." you say, handing it to him. and sure enough, it's the digits to your cell. accompanied by your name and a smiley face, as if he was one to received many numbers from pretty strangers such as yourself. "i'll see you before i leave."

chishiya pockets the napkin securely in his pocket, holding his hand there for safe keeping. "i'll keep an eye out. see you, y/n."

"bye, chishiya." you respond, watching as he walks back towards the main building.

suguru is going to throw up, is what chishiya hears him say. you two speak loudly that he can still catch what you are talking about.

"why him of all people? i woulda' accepted even arisu over that guy." suguru scowls, making you roll your eyes.

you mumble back, shaking your head, "don't be mean, you barely talk to him."

"that's a fucking lie, he belittles me when you're not around." he points out, glaring holes in the back of chishiya's head. he can feel them.

"well then, soon you'll only have to see him when i'm around." you claim, holding your chin in your hand as you smile to yourself, "so no problem."

suguru gets one look at you and sees that you're being dead serious. he groans, eyes up to the sky, "what do you see in a guy like him?"

you trace the rim of your mug. "i like him a lot. he's smart."

chishiya is out of earshot as soon as that's said, and he's almost glad. he doesn't want to walk around the hospital with some dumb smile on his face.

[wyldblunt]

Hi, it is 6 AM here and I have to sleep but I'm writing to you to let you know that I'm very concerned about what I've been reading in the past day.

I heard of the gwg/Logan incident on the day of it happening, but that's not really what I'm worried about. What concerns me is what seems like a consistent & long term systematic marginalization of POC in GW2 fan spaces. To be honest I'm not that surprised, I've had my suspicions since 2020.

I'm not active on GW2 tumblr or any social media at all, other than posting the Tyria Pride announcements once a year, so I don't have much impact outside of the Tyria Pride discord, but I still want to do something. I have some ideas, and am also always open to suggestions.

I would love to chat at some point (it doesn't have to be now, and I totally get it if you're not interested). The Tyria Pride discord isn't huge but it isn't small either, and maybe I have some influence that I can use for good.

Lelling

Tyria Pride Lead

P.S.: I know this can be a source of exhaustion so please do not worry about tone policing yourself or rewording your reply for ages to be "just right", if you do reply to me. (I just spent an hour doing that so I get it, it is now 7 AM). I'm on your side. I'll meet you where you're at.

hey — i hope you don't mind that i'm posting this publicly, but i want to because waking up to this message was a huge relief to me. and as i've tried to explain in other conversations about this, i KNOW there are LOTS of people who have been really uncomfortable through this entire convo but have not felt willing or able to speak up publicly (bc of open threats of ostracization for "being mean" AND observed behavior towards those of us who have said anything) and i hope that reading this will be a relief to them too.

thank you not only for reaching out but also for GETTING what our actual concerns are, bc one of my biggest frustrations through all of this has been people repeatedly twisting the issue so they can dismiss it as squabbling about fiction and then they don't actually have to address the broader patterns we're talking about here; thank you for the assurance that i won't be tone policed, because that's been repeatedly used against us as well ("okay i guess you guys are making some good points but you're being so ANGRY"); and thank you for acknowledging how tiring this is, because i've been made to feel like if i don't keep showing up and being vocal about this, leaving behind mostly the white allies who have been sticking up for us and using their privilege to make corrections and take some of the brunt of the ridicule and backlash, the whole thing will be dismissed as a non-issue anyway. and frankly i don't fucking want to anymore! i'm tired lol!

but i also wanted to springboard off this really kind and reassuring message from you to say it isn't the only one i've received, and that as angry and exhausted as i am, i want to highlight and acknowledge that i have NOT been alone in this. people have been checking in on me, listening to what i and others have to say about it and boosting our statements, changing their minds if they jumped to conclusions earlier, and offering private support and conversation among those of us who still don't feel comfortable braving the environment out here on tumblr — obviously the bad experiences i've had through this are sticking in my head and are really demoralizing, but honestly in terms of quantity and quality i have had MORE experiences of people supporting me and making sure i'm okay. this fandom has massive problems but it also has more of a solid, positive core than i was willing to hope for in the beginning.

i spoke up initially because it was horrible how isolated i felt when this all kicked off; the wider problem is absolutely not fixed, but i can confidently say i don't feel alone or abandoned anymore, and that gives me a ton of hope for figuring this out.

[beanxiv]

be there for you ; katsuki bakugou

summary: katsuki always takes care of you, it's time to return the favor for your beloved!

word count: 1k

note: i'm finally transferring all of my old work to this acc, you can applaud

warnings: cussing, use of petnames, sick katsuki :(

katsuki took pride in keeping himself fit and healthy. you knew this better than anyone else. he slept early, dressed according to the weather, and ate only what was best for his body (most of the time.) but the one day he left the dorms for his early sunday morning jog, wearing nothing but a tank top and sweats, was the day the sky almost split apart in thundering lightning and rain.

so when katsuki came back to the dorms angry and swearing on everything under the sun-- or, rain?--, dripping wet, and shivering, you were sent to a panic.

he swore he was fine and waved off your worries. he'd just dry off and continue with his day like normal. a little rain wouldn't faze the katsuki bakugou; future number one hero!

yeah, more like number one stubborn shit. (lovingly ofc 🥰)

within the next day he wasn't even able to leave his room for classes. bedridden and extremely unhappy about it.

you weren't allowed to skip classes unless it was an emergency (in your opinion, this was most definitely an emergency), so you settled on waking up early to leave a loving feel better note on his nightstand and some medicine before you left for classes.

to say it was a long day for both of you was an understatement.

for katsuki, he missed you and cursed himself for getting sick and missing school. now he'd be behind all his classmates and forced to catch up when he got back to school.

for you, you also missed your boyfriend and worried about his health. wondering if he took the medicine you left for him. you knew he wouldn't want you to worry about him, but you couldn't help it.

the school day lingered far longer than it usually felt. but as soon as the last dismissal bell rang, you were sprinting to the dorms. you didn't bother knocking when you reached katsuki's door, there was the possibility he was asleep, and you didn't want to bother him.

he was very much awake when you opened the door, and the creak of the hinges made him jump.

"katsuki! what the hell are you doing?"

"fuck.." katsuki stood up from his desk like he just got caught committing a crime. "uh, 'm not doin' anythin'."

his words were tired and slurred. so were his movements.

"you little shit, were you studying??" your words were scolding, but not harsh.

"uh, no." katsuki's eyes darted to the textbook that laid open on his desk, that he was definitely not pouring over two seconds before you walked in.

"i can't believe you-- well actually i can. but that doesn't make this any better!" you moved towards his desk, shutting the notebook and turning back to your workaholic boyfriend. "you didn't rest at all today did you?"

katsuki coughed, unable to blatantly lie to you again. you shook your head and sighed. "did you at least take the medicine i left you?" when he nodded you continued. "good. now, get in bed, i'll change out of my uniform and be back soon."

katsuki knew better than to defy you now. he climbed into his bed with half-hearted grumbles about you bossing him around, and how he's totally fine, doesn't need you to look after him at all.

when you arrive again, katsuki sees that you've brought with you more medicine, a bottle of water water, an extra blanket, and— is that a bowl of ramen? when you noticed katsuki eyeing the steaming bowl you giggled.

"you probably haven't eaten yet, and i know how much you like ramen. although, this one isn't spicy, it'll warm you up just fine."

"thanks, baby..." katsuki mumbled as you placed the meds and blanket on his desk, then settled into bed next to him with the water and ramen.

"i'll get ya sick," katsuki gently shoved you away from his burning body.

you shrugged, "i'd rather be sick with you than for you to be sick alone."

katsuki smiled at the thought of your affection until you placed the water on his night-stand and tried to feed him the ramen.

"what, no i can feed myself, idiot." he turned his face from the spoon of broth you were trying to give him.

at that you frowned, "you're allowed to accept help from others katsuki, especially me. i just wanna be there for you and if you don't let me... then i've failed at my duty as a significant other," you half-joked, placing a dramatic palm to your chest.

katsuki rolled his eyes, "fine." he let you spoon a few bites into his mouth to your delight.

"mm, 's good." katsuki's attitude had deflated and he leaned against your side as you fed him the warm broth. once he'd finished the entire bowl of ramen you settled under the covers with him, they were insanely warm. it made you want to curl up under his chest, wrapped in his arms and the sheets.

as if it was second nature, katsuki did just that-- tucked you under his chin; arms circling around you. he gave you a squeeze and sighed. it was like all his problems went away when you were cuddled into him.

"baby, 'm gonna get you sick." katsuki mumbled against your head.

"but you'll be there to take care of me too, yeah?" you kissed his jaw and katsuki could've sworn his fever increased by a few degrees.

" f'course i will." he returned your kiss, maneuvering his head to place it on your head, right between your eyebrows. no matter how many times katsuki did it-- giving you sweet, innocent kisses would never not give you butterflies that fluttered around your lungs and tickled your stomach.

you giggled against his neck, "well, then. maybe getting sick doesn't sound so bad."

like and rblg if you enjoyed!

© beanxiv — all rights reserved. copying, reposting, translating, and modifying in any platform or by any means is not allowed.

[madlittlecriminal]

[05] Secret Ingredient⥓ Mafia!Miguel O'Hara × Female!Baker!Reader

Warnings: miles makes another appearance because i said so, miguel being a bit possessive, carmen is an oc, my spanish is a mix of Mexican & Puerto Rican spanish (it's a warning because the dialogue here is the spanish i use with my mom), the english translations are rough since it is me translating them, mention of dana, mention of choking on water

do i know how many parts will be in this series? no. not yet. you are all going with the flow with me lol. we're in this together

series masterlist | miguel o'hara masterlist

The glare that Miles was currently receiving made the boy chuckle nervously.

"So you went there, saw her with another man and said 'I'm not going to get desserts for the team'? Is that what really went through your mind?"

Miles gulps with nod. "You said you always wanted updates on her, so I came running back. I'm sorry."

While Miguel had a sweet tooth, he wasn't angry at the teen intern.

He nods, dismissing Miles while staring at his monitor, his leg bouncing as he takes a deep breath. He didn't care who that man was that was with you, but he wanted to throw him across the room.

Woah.

He shakes his head and gets up, going to the window and looking down at the city to calm himself down. Why was he getting so worked up? You were a free woman! Free to do what you wanted, be with who you wanted. It was your life, your choice to make.

But fuck, did he want you to want him.

Okay, maybe he's a bit obsessed and possessive over you. He's going to have to work on that, but in his defense, you made him feel things he's never felt before.

First woman to make him shy, first woman he's wanted all to himself.

"Me estas volviendo loco, muñeca." (You're driving me crazy, doll/doll face.)

He runs a hand through his hair before buttoning his blazer and leaving his office, deciding to get some actual food and not sweets.

His stomach agreed with a growl, Miguel mumbling for it to 'shut up' as he walks out of the building and heads to a nearby food truck.

"¿Ahora quieres comida, Miguelito? Y yo aquí pensando que nunca ibas a venir a visitarme para tan si quiera una platica como siempre." (Now you want food, Miguelito? And here I was thinking you'd never come to visit me to at least have a chat like always.)

"Discúlpame, Carmen. Te prometo, voy a venir mas seguido." (Forgive me, Carmen. I promise, I'll come more often.)

"Ya pasaron dos semanas que te vi, muchachito. No me mientes." (Two weeks have passed since I saw you, young man. Don't lie to me.)

Miguel pulls his pinky out, making Carmen laugh and hooking her pinky with his.

"Por lo menos una vez a la semana." (At least once a week.)

Miguel nods. "Una vez a la semana." (Once a week.)

She smiles before unhooking her pinky from hers.

"¿Quieres lo de siempre?" (Want the usual?)

Miguel nods and watches as Carmen gathers what she needs before pulling out his phone to check his email.

Then he heard it.

Your laugh.

He looked up and around, but didn't see you.

Was he that hungry that he was imaging it?

No.

He walked behind the food truck to see you across the street with the man he assumed Miles mentioned.

'Breathe.'

He took a deep breath before exhaling slowly as he shut his eyes.

Miguel had to calm down. You two weren't anything! If that was your boyfriend, it was fine!

Right?

He headed back to wait for his food, hoping you didn't see him.

"Miguel!"

His eyes widen before his head practically snapped from how hard he turned it to face Lyla running towards him.

'Please tell me by some miracle she didn't hear that.' Miguel thought to himself.

"Oh snap! Hey (Y/N)!"

'Are you fucking kidding me?!' To say Miguel wanted to crawl into a hole was an understatement. Could he chill at the bottom of the Grand Canyon? He made a mental note to look up a ticket when he had the chance.

"¿Miguelito? ¿Estas bien?" (Miguelito? Are you okay?)

He nods at Carmen's question.

She poked her head out a bit and chuckled.

"Si estabas con ella en los últimos dos semanas, no te preocupes." She teased. (If you were with her these past two weeks, don't worry.)

Miguel's cheeks burned red. "¡Carmen!"

She snorts before laughing and shaking her head before going back to cooking. "Te quiero, Miguelito." (I love you, Miguelito.)

"You haven't been here in two weeks." Lyla says, nearly out of breath.

"Carmen gave me piece, I don't need yours. Can I know why you came running in your heels?" He asks, tilting his head to the side.

"That meeting for uh...later? Yeah, they actually want to do it now."

Miguel raised a brow before he saw you standing three feet away with the man.

"Did they say why?"

"Because they have another option."

He furrowed his brows.

"What's the other option?"

"You're not gonna like it."

Carmen handed him his food, he gave her a quick thank you and turned back to Lyla.

"Don't worry about me not liking it or not. What's the other option." He demanded, no longer asking.

Lyla took a deep breath. "They have the option to work with a new family, so they're thinking about helping them out instead of getting help from you."

Miguel snorted before opening his water. "How the hell does that make sense?"

"The meeting is to convince you to join them so the new family can join you."

"Who's the new family?" He asks before drinking his water.

"D'Angelo's. As in Dana D'Angelo."

Miguel choked on his water.

~~~~

tags:

@deputy-videogamer @barbiecrocs @deepinballs @faimmm @wakeupr41 @bubblegumfanfictions @smartyren @kimmis-stuff @latenightcravingz @youcantseem3 @corpsebridenightamare @thedevax @cicithemess @diannana @itsameclinicaldepresssion @hwasoup @migueloharasbbm @vkumi

[iamhereonlytobeanunstableshipper]

Ok so. I just saw a Reddit comment (idk why I get on reddit fandom cause it always ends up making me mad) saying that the Alastor and Husk scene was probably the first time Alastor was that violent towards Husk because of him talking back to Al in the first place.

Aka, Alastor isn't abusive to Husk, except for that one time. And ISTG that comment made me want to crawl into the darkest pit of hell (ha, get it?).

SO, let's explain why Alastor's treatment of Husk isn't a one time thing.

Husk and abuse: a character analysis.

First of all, let's explain Husk's personality and why he acts the way he does.

Husk's character is presented to us as a grumpy old alcoholic who only wants people to leave him the fuck alone. He doesn't care about the hotel, about any of its members, or about Alastor's plans. He doesn't want to collaborate, he doesn't want to be there, and he doesn't care enough to act as though he does.

But, reality is:

Husk cares. Way more than he wishes he did.

He doesn't show it often, but he cares. He shows it when he calls Sir Pentious, Charlie, Vaggie and Angel out at the beginning of Masquerade, and ofc, he shows it with Angel throughout this whole chapter.

(I find the heart motif on Husk's demon form to be very interesting, actually. I like to think that one of the things Husk hates the most about himself is that, as much as he wants to fake otherwise, as much as he sees it as a weakness, as much as it just complicates everything, he cares. And death taunts him with that, displaying for everyone to see the heart he so desperately wants to hide.)

Also, Husk is very good at reading people. He hates fakeness, he hates lies, he hates people being dense because they're trying to ignore a reality about themselves.

All of these things get on his nerves enough to show that he, in fact, cares.

And he sure as fuck loves (maybe a bit too much) winning an argument against someone who's pissing him off.

So, let's go to Alastor.

A while ago I saw an amazing post (that now i cant find aaaa if someone finds it pls let me know) that talked about how this isn't the expression of someone who's just been beaten at poker, but it's an expression of sadness and betrayal.

This post implied, therefore, that Husk and Alastor had built a previous relationship of trust before the betrayal, either platonic or romantic (which had been just manipulation from Alastor's side, just like he's now doing with Charlie)

If we take this into account, it makes more sense why Husk would care about Mimzy being trouble. Not only for the safety of the rest at the hotel, but also just a tiny little bit, for Alastor's own safety.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very sure that Husk hates Alastor, but there's this tiny, annoying part of him that can't help but care.

So, let's cut to the infamous scene.

Husk didn't confront Alastor because he had never been violent towards him before. Husk confronted Alastor because he cares, and because people being stupid gets on his nerves, and because he finds it hard to hold back when he knows he's right.

Also, it had been 7 years since he had seen Alastor. It's normal that he's gained more confidence to confront him.

AND, despite all of this, he was reluctant in the beggining.

In the first screenshot, Husk gets visibly angry at Alastor because of his dismissive attitude while his back is turned at him. But when Husk speaks again, you can see him visibly holding back, choosing his words carefully with that "I mean".

(Go rewatch the scene if you wanna, it's way more clear that way than via screenshots ksdldf)

Compare this to the much more accusatory way Husk was calling out Chaggie, Sir Pentious and Angel in back chapter 4. Husk is being careful with Alastor.

Despite all we know about Husk's personality that leads him to warn Alastor about Mimzy in the first place, Husk still holds all of that back.

Why? Cause he knows better than to say something that might anger him.

It's only when Alastor touches Husk and calls him his pet that Husk loses his temper.

As we know, Husk has VERY strong personal boundaries (probably some of them come from Alastor's touch itself)

Alastor trespassing his boundaries is what makes Husk stop thinking logically. He's pissed, and he hates Alastor, and he hates how he makes him feel so powerless, so insignificant, like less of a human.

And he bites back.

The comment I saw implied that Husk said the "big talk for someone who's also on a leash" because he thought it wouldn't have any major effect on Alastor, and he unknowingly touched a touchy subject.

But this is even slightly out of character for Husk. He didn't say it because he didn't think it would make Alastor mad, he said it because he knew it would make him mad.

Husk is fucking amazing at reading people. He knew it was a touchy subject. He wasn't thinking about consequences, he was thinking about pissing Alastor off, about regaining control.

(He's a gambler, cmon. Searching for control and power without minding the consequences is his thing.)

This is NOT a "what the fuck is he doing?" face. It's an "oh no, not again" face.

And immediately, he tries to take it back. The rush of making Alastor mad passes away the moment he pulls out the chain, and Husk knows what's coming.

Alastor has done that before. Judging by Husk's body language, there's NO way on earth he hasn't.

One VERY important thing to take into account is: victims have personalities.

Of course, victims tend to have unifying factors in their trauma responses due to similar experiences, but overall: a victim isn't an archetype, it's a person.

There are different types of abuse. Everyone reacts differently towards abuse.

Saying that Husk isn't being abused by Alastor just because he talks back is. Well. Kinda weird, isn't it?

(Maybe I'm exaggerating but doesn't it sound like victim blaming a bit??)

The important thing is that this is how Valentino and Alastor treat Angel and Husk:

Yes, they are different types of abuse. Yes, Angel and Husk's reactions to it are different.

But this doesn't make one kind less valid than the other. And just because Alastor isn't sexually abusive to Husk, that doesn't mean Husk's abuse is "less important" (this isn't a competition, ffs)

Husk's personality, Husk's hatred of stupidity, Husk's reactive nature, Husk's strong boundaries, don't automatically disappear when he's talking with his abuser. He's still Husk.

And yet, we can still see the signs of abuse, such as Husk holding back at the beginning because he knows what Alastor may do if he's mad, or him flinching away slightly when Alastor turns suddenly to look at him, or him trying to take back what he just said immediately because he's scared of the consequences.

And, let's be serious. Alastor is a serial killer. He enjoys watching people suffer. He enjoys knowing that people fear him.

And, since he's on a "leash", as Husk said, I'm very sure this hurts his ego a whole lot. So, it makes sense that he loves feeling that he has control over the souls he owns, that they fear him, to forget he's not completely free himself.

It's not so far fetched to assume that Alastor gets a quick and an ego boost out of seeing Husk like that, terrified and shivering on the ground. So I don't believe he hasn't done it before.

(And I mean, even if this only happened the one time we see it in the show, it would still be abusive?? It would be Alastor using his power to physically and psychologically torment Husk, which is abuse, even if it's only once ((which i highly doubt)))

In conclusion: Alastor is an abuser. There's no way around it. And Husk is a victim of abuse.

Sorry this got long SLKDS

Tbh I think everything I said here is pretty obvious?? Like to me that scene always read as a way of the show telling us Alastor's true colors once no one's watching, and the way he treats Husk. Like, it didn't even cross my mind that it might have been an isolated occurrence.

But the comment had around 50 upvotes so?? Idk I just wanted to rant about this lmao

[eddiestightywhities]

okay the birthday scene utterly destroyed me because WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT HORRENDOUSNESS??

this is gonna be long and heated so i'm sticking it under a cut…

i've only watched the ep once, so could be forgetting things, and therefore might be back to say more once i've watched it again!

helena (and ramón by proxy) perpetuating the emotional child abuse by flipping the parentification of eddie sideways and morphing it into ‘you're not here for me (helena) anymore so i'm punishing you in the same (perceived) way you punished me by literally and now also emotionally taking your child away from you’ is so fucked up and vile that i can't even think straight.

chris is angry with his dad, which—fair. BUT! would he really still be in the exact same emotionally fragile place AFTER THREE FUCKING MONTHS if his abuelos were doing what they should be doing by speaking to him about it and trying their damnedest to help out eddie—THEIR FUCKING SON—on his path to reconciling with his son? I THINK FUCKING NOT. instead of being a magnanimous go-between, as they should be, they (she) are clearly actively encouraging a young teen to shun his doting father (who, granted, fucked-up royally, but in his defence was kind of losing his mind at the time and did nothing to directly nor intentionally hurt his child), shun his best friend (and let's be real: other parent), shun his whole life in LA (his other abuela and his tia/his peers/school life/carla etc), shun the loving home EDDIE has made for him, while selfishly manipulating him by giving him ‘everything’ a kid could want to entice him to stay there (omg the fucking “he loves the water!”—do they even understand what it took for eddie and buck to help chris get over his fear of water after the tsunami? do they even know?!), in texas, the very place eddie wanted to remove his son from, thus enabling him to live it up as only a spoilt rotten grandchild can, with them (her), so that they (she) can get a second chance at feeling like Good Parents, because they know they got it wrong with (at least) eddie. helena, in her very messed-up head, has never forgiven her son for leaving her for shannon, and has spent years punishing eddie for that, yet hasn't really ever felt the satisfaction she craves—until now.

because now, finally, helena has what she has wanted for so long, and so the emotional abuse continues, just in a different form.

and poor, poor, loving eddie, knowing that he badly screwed up, tried to show his kid that he understood he made a mistake, and that he sees his pain, and decided to give chris the space he needed—and by doing so gave his mother the one thing he never wanted to allow to happen, the thing she has always wanted ever since he ‘left’ her: helena's revenge.

eddie decorating his living room with a banner with christopher's name and buying party hats and balloons etc (which, sure, is now too childish a thing for chris to enjoy, but goddammit eddie is trying), having chris's buck there for him, and inviting tommy over (and who knows how he actually felt about that) because he knows chris thinks he's a cool guy, was eddie trying so, so hard to let his boy know just how much he is wanted and loved and missed.

chris is (just!) fourteen, though, and unless all of this effort is pointed out to him, of course he wouldn't care and would be sullen and unappreciative—that's teenagers for you! and of course his grandparents (helena) absolutely did not prime him for the zoom chat with his dad (ON HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY), as they should've; of course they (she) let him take the reins with this and be dismissive of his father's attempts at healing his relationship with his boy; of course, of course, of course. ramón obviously goes along with whatever the fuck helena wants because of the guilt he has over not being there for her or his kids when they were growing up, giving helena permission to revel in her ‘justified’ reprisal.

i think that if eddie didn't understand that he needs to hold it together, now more than ever—he has to be okay, to be in a place where he can get his son back—he'd be smashing up the entire state of california, never mind just his bedroom. thankfully—LIKE, THANK FUCKING FUCK—he has has his real family, the 118, and his partner in life, buck, and his new moustache lol, to keep him going. honestly though, the guy deserves more than a silver star for his herculean efforts with this shit-show.

christopher will forgive eddie, because shannon and eddie raised a bright and empathetic human being who will eventually see that his dad never in a million years meant to hurt him. and eddie will forgive his parents, whether they deserve it or not, because he is historically a selfless and kind human being who absolutely would not want to teach his son resentment.

but istfg there better be some sort of resolution (if only one sided, although i'd love helena and ramón—more helena, as we've already had a scene of ramón expressing his regrets and being almost tender with his son—show a little humility and see them make room for recognising and taking responsibility for their mistakes) for eddie diaz and the continuous psychological torment inflicted on him by his parents (helena). OR ELSE!

jfc, this silly show does not have the right to get me this riled up lol.

[oakleyyz]

Stupid rant about how ppl talk about Stanford and stuff- kinda like- how the Return To the Bunker wrote him and how that's how alot of ppl see him.

The amount of folks that think "Ford should've just trusted Stanley and Mabel! And everyone else!" Is like- sad.

Fords a victim of abuse and manipulation, and considering how him and Stan grew up, I wouldn't be surprised if Filbrick Pines contributed to both the twins childhood being shitty.

Ford, growing up, was always bullied and teased because of his six fingers, Stan (by accident) ruined Fords chance at becoming 'something' and not just a freak who had six fingers.

and IMO I think Ford had every right to be pissed when Stan said, "But hey! Treasure hunting??" Just completely dismissing Fords feelings.

Yes this was all caused by miscommunication which does happen, and it sucks that they had such a big fallout, Ford shouldn't have ignored his brother, but he was angry.

Now in the future wise, Ford most likely trusted Dipper more because he reminded him of himself when he was young.

But anyways, Ford was manipulated for fucking years by Bill, he trusted Bill and thought of him as a friend (untill ofc he realized what Bill's true intentions were) Bill than used Fords body WITHOUT his permission to do shit/mess with him, Ford was scared to fucking sleep. SLEEP.

Heck, Bill changed some words that Ford would use to something else.

Stan didn't mean to shove him into the portal but he did, Ford was mad that the portal was reopened bc of the threat of bill hanging around (Also in Journal three its said that he was about to kill Bill, which is why he was also pissed.)

Uhhhh, I kinda lost my train of thought, but Fords is not a bad guy. Has he made a lot of mistakes? Yes, but people change, heck one fucking line he says in weridmaggdion is-

"I'm sorry, Stanley, I know, just help me fix it, please!"

Like he knew he fucked up, and bro was also tortured.

[hanasnx]

Hop hop 🐇 what's the mood today indybug? Because I'm thinking about cheating on Brian with ya. He's got a couple years on me, you know, at least 7, doesn't fucking take me seriously and he's always looking at other girls at the meets. Sometimes, when it's just me and him in a big group of his friends, he'll put his hands all over me but won't even acknowledge me when I speak, it makes me so angry I could scream. It's been happening more and more and you're my friend, I can always go to you to complain when my boyfriend's pissing me off, so I do. I even know what you'd say, you've said it before, "I don't like you with guys like that."

"yeah," I'd say, drawn out like a sigh, like I'm agreeing but it's clear I won't do a damn thing about it. So now here you are; there's a pretty girl on your couch crying about her boyfriend again, in the tiniest skirt you've ever seen, her bra peaking out from the neckline of her shirt, fat tits spilling out. It must be annoying, must be frustrating, this bitch is a tease, stupid too, the way she lets men treat her...

But at least I'm easy though, huh bug? It isn't hard to get me on my stomach, ass out while you fuck me good and hard and ask if this the attention I was looking for when I came over. "Brain just leaks outta those ears with a cock in you huh? Is it good? Yeah that dick got you fucked up, huh dons?"

"indyyyy," my voice is whiney and muffled into the cushion of the couch. "Feels so fucking good, want you deeper— ah!!." You give me a good thrust just to hear the way my sentence stops short with a moan.

"I know baby, don't fall on me, ass up c'mon. Fuck that pussy down on this dick, that's fucking right baby. Brian's not hittin' it right huh? I can tell, look how hungry this pussy is for me." Your thumb finds my pussy, rubbing against it to feel the stretch and movement of your big cock going in and out, and the way I twitch when I cum all over it.

You're sweet enough to let me cuddle up to you when we're done. Straddling your lap, arms wrapped around your neck and pressing kisses against your warm, damp skin. Your hands graze the curves of my body, squeezing the fat of my thighs, my ass my waist, and my tits press against your chest. But when I pull away and ask if I can kiss your lips, the scoff you give betrays your body language, a little mean, a little dismissive, you tell me "nah I don't kiss cheaters." It makes me blush with embarrassed but I laugh along anyway.

"you won't tell him right?" I've got gentle fingers rubbing your jaw, brushing your hair out of your face, laying it on thick and sweet now that I've got my fill of rough dick.

You laugh again and take your face outta my hands and give my ass a hard squeeze. You've got a half smile on your lips, "Yeah, yeah whatever." Knowing you mean it when you say you'll keep it a secret, i grin and kiss you on the cheek.

🐇Hop hop might have gone overboard

-donnieeeeeee

YOU FREAK. you fucking freak donnie.

"I don't like you with guys like that." ive literally told you that irl. "there's a pretty girl on your couch crying about her boyfriend again, in the tiniest skirt you've ever seen, her bra peaking out from the neckline of her shirt, fat tits spilling out" "this bitch is a tease, stupid too, the way she lets men treat her..." can you shut the fuck up. oh mygod. the fat tits bit.. you know just what i like donnie. calling yourself stupid <3 thats my fucking sweet spot. i just hate the way you let men treat you, i can treat you so much worse

im finding myself quoting whole paragraphs like this one: "But at least I'm easy though, huh bug? It isn't hard to get me on my stomach, ass out while you fuck me good and hard and ask if this the attention I was looking for when I came over. "Brain just leaks outta those ears with a cock in you huh? Is it good? Yeah that dick got you fucked up, huh dons?"" because its that good and i cant pick out individual lines. the use of dons especially bcos thats one of my fave nicknames i call you

""I know baby, don't fall on me, ass up c'mon. Fuck that pussy down on this dick, that's fucking right baby. Brian's not hittin' it right huh? I can tell, look how hungry this pussy is for me."" this dialogue piece sounds just fucking like me man we talk way too damn much. this couldve come right out of my own brain

the bit about the kiss, about how i dont kiss cheaters, taking my face outta your hands and grab your ass, "yea yea whatever" oh donnie you killed this

[infiniteeight8]

Ironstrange identity reveal? I was reading Spy x Family when I thought of this, so that's the background/setting I was thinking of initially, but it can definitely be a superhero thing too. Or whatever other idea pops into your head. I'm always excited to see what you come up with!

I read the top of the wikipedia entry for Spy x Family, but that setup is not working for me here, so instead we’re going with some classic “Iron Man is Tony Stark’s bodyguard” shenanigans. 😀

Uh, this got… more than a little out of hand. This has many themes in common with other drabbles, but now it’s 1360 words long. Enjoy?

Under the read more for length.

-

Tony stares stubbornly at Steve, who is rubbing his eyes with the kind of exhausted exasperation that has become his hallmark around Iron Man.

“Iron Man, you were unconscious,” Steve says. “After being electrocuted. You need a real medical check.”

“The armor has medical sensors,” Tony insists. “It says I’m fine. I can answer questions for a neurological exam. That’ll have to be good enough.”

Steve gets that stubborn look on his face. The one that no one wins against. Fuck. “You’re benched until you get a real medical check.”

“How about if I get checked out in my civilian identity?” Tony suggests.

“We have no way of verifying that you’ve done that,” Steve says. “And while I hate to say you’d lie, I can’t dismiss the possibility after this conversation. I understand your hesitation about revealing your identity, but your life is at stake.”

“It’s really not,” Tony mutters. He’s fine. But he can tell that Steve isn’t going to budge on this, and he wants to be off the bench sooner rather than later. “Fine. Call Strange, then.”

Steve’s eyebrows go up. “Doctor Strange? He’s not a practicing physician.”

“He’s kept his certifications, though.”

“And he hates you.”

Stephen hates Iron Man. He’s quite fond of Tony Stark, though. They’re… friends. He’s asked Tony on half a dozen dates, which Tony has been forced to turn down because he refuses to lie about something as important as Iron Man to someone he’s dating. It’s made for a lonely couple of years. At least if he has to reveal his identity to someone, he might get a date out of it. If Stephen forgives him for lying. If he can get past Tony Stark being an Avenger in general (apparently they make a lot of work for the sorcerers; something about the barriers between dimensions) and Iron Man in specific, who he’s always hated the most. 

“Then you’ll know he’s being honest when he clears me,” is all Tony says aloud.

Steve still looks baffled, but he makes the call.

Tony’s expecting Stephen to be angry when he arrives. He may keep his medical certifications up to date, but he doesn’t work as a doctor and he’s sure as hell not on call for the Avengers. But when he arrives he’s crisply professional, if frosty. He’s even wearing a lab coat over street clothes. He locks the exam room door behind him, which would be odd except that he follows it up with, “Armor off.” Tony hesitates. Stephen’s expression tightens. “Captain Rogers indicated you were willing to be examined,” he says sharply.

“This is kind of a big deal,” Tony snaps. “There is literally no one living that knows who I am.”

Stephen blinks. “Surely Tony knows.”

Tony sighs. “Yeah. About that.” He issues the command, and the helmet retracts. 

Stephen stares. And stares. And there it is. There’s the anger. “You utter fucking idiot!” He shouts. “What the hell are you doing risking your life in that goddamned tin can?! Don’t you know what a catastrophic loss it would be if you died out there?”

Okay, Stephen is yelling, but it seems like… good yelling? “I’m saving people,” Tony argues.

“You save plenty of people as Tony Stark!” Thank God the soundproofing in this place is spectacular; Stephen doesn’t lower his voice one bit. “So why do you insist on ruining your own life with this, this,” he waves his hand inarticulately at the armor still covering Tony to the neck, “bullshit.”

Okay, that’s enough. “Iron Man is not ruining my life! It’s the best thing I’ve ever done!”

Stephen's expression shifts from furious to incredulous. “The best thing?” he demands. “The best thing? What about the 100 million dollar donation to spinal cord research? The Foundation that helps people rebuild after things like alien invasions when their insurance won’t? What about the shield you invented that makes it possible for people with sensitive implants to get an MRI safely, or the modular smartphone that doesn’t need to be replaced every two years? What about the scholarships you’ve endowed?”

“Stephen—”

“Are those not big enough in scale?” Stephen demands. “How about the clean energy technology that looks like it might stop global warming in its tracks? Is that enough? Is one planet not enough? Do we need to talk about the international collaboration that you started to combine Earth’s resources with alien technology to turn us into an interstellar civilization before another interstellar civilization can dismiss us as barbarians—”

“I’m not the one who decided none of that counted!” Tony shouted over Stephen. It stops the tirade, at least. Tony blows out a hard breath. “The guy who donates the 100 million dollars isn’t the hero,” he goes on. “That’s the guy who makes the discovery. The Foundation isn’t celebrated for the people it helps, it’s critiqued for the ones it doesn’t. The MRI shield, the smartphone… people like them, but they’re advances that ‘were always coming’. Or maybe ‘were overdue’. That doesn’t mean they aren’t worth doing. Of course they’re worth doing.” Tony retracts a gauntlet and rubs a hand over his face. God, he’s tired. “I just… I wanted to be the hero for once,” he admits. It sounds so fucking selfish. “Tony Stark could never do enough. It always had to be about the money for them, even when it really wasn’t about the money for me. But Iron Man… No one wonders what his ulterior motive is when he does something good. They just cheer.”

Stephen sighs and hitches himself up onto the medical bed next to Tony. “Do you know why I hated Iron Man so much?”

Tony grimaces. “I always figured he was just too… blunt instrument for you.”

Stephen snorts. “Hulk and Cap are far more blunt,” he says. “Iron Man at least has precision weapons to go with the punches. No. I hated Iron Man because when the suit failed somehow Tony got the blame, but when it worked, Iron Man got the credit. Iron Man made everything you just explained worse, not better.”

There’s not really a counter argument for that. It’s true. Except, “Nothing was going to make that better,” Tony says. “Nothing could. Not until I’m dead, anyway.” He half expects Stephen to go right back to haranguing him for risking his life. 

“Speaking of which, I’m meant to be making sure you’re not dying now,” Stephen says. He stands and moves to face Tony. “Come on. Get the rest of the armor off.”

Tony obliges, and they proceed with the rest of the exam in silence. 

Near the end, Tony looks over Stephen’s shoulder rather than meet his eyes and says, quietly, “I’m not going to stop.”

“My initial reaction aside,” Stephen answers, just as soft, “I never thought you would. I know as well as anyone how this life becomes a part of you.” When he finishes the exam, he steps back. “You’re fine.” 

Tony nods and puts the armor back on. It’s never been so quiet between them before. His chest aches.

When he’s got everything but the helmet back on, Stephen stops him. “Is this why you always said no when I asked you out?”

“Yeah,” Tony says. “Didn’t seem right to lie like that to my partner.”

“Right.” Stephen nods firmly. “So will you go out with me now?”

Tony perks up. “You still want to?”

Stephen gives him a look. “You have not had a personality transplant,” he says dryly. “So yes, I still want to.”

Do not push your luck, Tony tells himself. He says it anyway, “Thought the lying might be a bigger deal.”

“Everyone keeps secrets,” Stephen says. “But the secrets that a friend will accept are different from the secrets that a partner will accept. You’ve already demonstrated that you understand that.” Tony grins and Stephen shoots him a look. “We will, however, be having words about you assuming I’d react like anyone else in your life.”

Tony swallows a laugh. “Of course,” he says. “I should have known you’d be exceptional.” 

“And don’t forget it,” Stephen says, a smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth.

[podcastenthusiast]

First part of a Astarion/Karlach thing I'm writing. Basically a little rewrite of some Act 3 scenes. Could become something bigger, who knows.

--

"Well, at least you've met my family now," Astarion says. "Pity. You and Violet would get on quite well. Haha."

His tone is light and dismissive, especially for a midnight familial attempted kidnapping. But there's a desperate edge to it, too, like he's worried she might finally see sense and run for the hills.

Karlach's never been accused of being sensible. If Astarion burning his brother in a sunbeam while his sister screamed didn't scare her off, this little evening interruption sure won't.

Karlach does hope she will have a chance to meet his siblings properly, once they're all free.

"I wouldn't've let them take you anywhere," she vows, chest heaving, still very much caught up in protective Mama K mode.

"I know. Deep breaths, darling."

Astarion still looks wary, as if he's expecting the other shoe to drop. She can't cool down, she realizes, not yet, because she's still angry.

Angry at him.

"You lied to them. About the ritual. Like it was easy."

He scoffs. "It was easy. They aren't exactly the brightest candles in the chandelier, you know."

"You're really gonna sacrifice your own brothers and sisters? Betray their trust in you like--like they're nothing." Like Gortash did, she thinks but doesn't say. There are some words you can't take back. She loves this pasty bastard too much to actually believe he'd go through with it, anyway.

"What does it matter? They're just my...colleagues in suffering. Expendable. Pathetic." Oh, Astarion's giving her the old monster routine, one of his thinner disguises. She can see the aelf-loathing clesrly beneath without even really trying. "And let's not forget they are vampire spawn. Hardly innocent."

"Fuck, Astarion, none of us are! You only give a shit about yourself, huh?"

"Why not? No one ever looked out for me. No one ever said a kind thing to me. You're the only one," he insists, getting a bit heated himself now. "Other people don't have a heart like you."

"Damn right, soldier," she replies quietly, tapping a fist against her engine as it ticks and whirs her numbered days away. The rage fades. "Sort of the problem, isn't it."

"I-- shit, Karlach, I didn't mean--"

There he is.

"Hey. It's all right."

It isn't, not really. Nothing is all right anymore. But they will be.

Karlach just can't be the only good thing he sees in this world. It's not fair to either of them. Gods only know how much more time she even has left, besides; Astarion shouldnt be alone, not after everything he's been through. She needs him to be okay without her, selfish as it is.

"Scares me when you talk like that," she admits. "Like other people are just things to you."

"I'm sorry, Karlach," he says, miserably. "I don't know if I can be anything else, here."

Karlach's mother always told her to never go to bed angry. After ten years in the Hells, it felt pointless and silly, but tonight with his siblings' blood staining the floor, she thinks she might understand the wisdom in that advice.

"C'mere, Fangs."

She opens her arms. Always gives him a choice; touch is complicated for both of them in a lot of ways. And, yeah, there's her cuddly Astarion after all. Must be exhausting pretending to something he's not all the time. Thought so since she met him that day by the river. All those masks and yet none seems to fit quite right. She knows the feeling, more or less.

"You're loved, you hear me?" she tells him. "So fucking loved."

His skin is a pleasant balm; hers is still smoldering a little. They don't let go.

"You make things so difficult," he complains softly against her collarbone, affectionate despite the actual words.

"Knew this wasn't gonna be easy. But I swear, tomorrow we'll kick Cazador's ass," she murmurs, holding him tighter. "I've got you."

"Ugh. Get a room, you two," Shadowheart grumbles from her bed.

They have a room, though. This room. The others will simply have to deal with that.

It's gonna be okay.

[soldieronbarnes]

ALRIGHT FOLKS, as I'm getting started on my Obikin BB fic, here's a snippet of another fic I considered for the fest but decided it would be too long; it's a WIP you've seen me mention before and that I hope to actually write and complete one day (the one where Nabooian culture has the fucked up tradition of lending one's spouse to esteemed guests --- Anakin is the spouse, Obi-Wan the guest)

“You think you’re doing me a kindness? That, by refusing to touch me, you’re saving me?” 

Obi-Wan blinks, taken aback. Before, Anakin had seemed — fearful and shy, perhaps. Now, the Force brims with bitterness and anger around him. 

“I’m not sure I would call it a kindness,” Obi-Wan hazards cautiously, despite his confusion. He’d expected the Force to bloom with sweet, if anxious, relief. Surely it is — basic decency. Surely this boy must have known guests who refused the offer, who were equally appalled by these archaic practices, and less beholden to appealing to his husband’s sense of pride, to stroking Palpatine’s ego, to flattering him until he let himself be moved whichever which way than Obi-Wan is.

“It isn’t.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t understand.

“I don’t understand,” he admits. “I don’t believe you want me to touch you.”

“It doesn’t matter!” The boy explodes. “It never matters! He’ll know, you see, he always does, and this is — this is a punishment.” He buries his face in his hand, and he might be crying and —

Obi-Wan is so in over his head. 

“I was led to believe that in Nabooian culture — in its very traditional, almost antiquated culture, that is –  that it is seen as a great privilege to, ah —” he stumbles. “Well.  That the husband sees it as something to take pride in, a generosity upon his guest, not — not —”

“It is,” Anakin sniffs. “It’s a mark of hospitality, and plenty of people here still follow this tradition; Hells, plenty of wives enjoy and support it, Nabooians aren’t exactly monogamous, but — but I’m —” 

Anakin swallows heavily, squares his shoulders, and when he lifts his head, his expression is resigned. Only a slight redness around his eyes betrays his feelings; when he continues, it’s very matter of fact. 

“I displeased him, earlier. Knowingly. I shouldn’t have, I should’ve known better, but I — I didn’t think. I relied too much on him liking you, liking the Jedi, thinking that you were important, so that he would not want to offend you. I didn’t think he’d — but it’s perfect, you see. I get my punishment, and you get taken down a peg. And by tomorrow, you’ll feel so guilty about breaking your vows that you’ll grant him more in the negotiations than you planned to, and he’ll have won, again.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t even know where to begin: The allusion to frequent spousal abuse? The delicate nature of negotiations? The accusation that he would be swayed by bribes offered, especially ones as crude as this one? Correcting the boy on the notion that Jedi take vows of celibacy? 

“I beg your pardon,” he says. Better to focus on the most pressing issue. The others are probably best shoved aside until he has time and peace of mind for a solid, lengthy meditation session. “But I don’t think I understand why you dismiss my solution so easily. You’re welcome to spend the night, of course, even though I won’t touch you, and that should be enough to do away with any suspicions your husband might have.”

Anakin only glares at him. “I told you,” he spits, “I told you, he’ll know. He always does. Your squeamishness won’t be an excuse — it’s not about what you do, it’s about me. I didn’t do as he told me to, and he sent me to be fucked by you, knowing how much I hate it every time he makes me do it.” He turns, then, looking Obi-Wan straight in the eyes, his blue eyes burning like kyber on Ilum — except there’s none of the peace, none of the anticipation. Only hurt. “What do you think he’ll do to me, if I go back to him without doing as I was told, when he’s already angry with me?”

Obi-Wan opens his mouth, and then closes it with an audible click.

“I promise you, it’ll be much worse than this,” Anakin continues. “You’re not ugly, and I don’t think you want to hurt me. That’s leagues better than I usually get. So if you want to save me,” he says, every word dripping with derision, ”you need to get over your religious guilt.”

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 21 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

I know I wrote this but I'm so mad at Don, but I did it so! Some fighting, some fluff, some ass hitting as per request of @next-autopsy, ahahah jk! Let me know what you think!

I also just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who reads my fic! I have now posted 21 chapters which is so much! Thank you for sticking with me, I know it's been long! I am so excited to keep going with this story. Probably the only thing I have stuck too and not given up half way, which my brain likes to do! I love you all, thank you for all your support and amazing comments, truly makes me so happy and I just want to keep sharing my work with you all! I really can't thank you all enough, how do I buy you all presents? ahahahah.

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved.Keep reading

Tag list: @next-autopsy, @panzershrike-pretz, @xxluckystrike, @bucky32557038ww2 (let me know if you want to be tagged.)

The men wandered back into the room, I stopped Don as he walked in, grabbing him by his arm. 

“Can we talk?” I asked, he nodded, moving out of the room again. I walked down stairs finding somewhere more private to speak to him. I walked into one of the empty rooms, Don followed behind closing the door. 

“So are you going to explain what happened?” He asked, sitting on the edge of one of the bunks I sat opposite him on the other bed. 

“Why were you in a towel?” He asked before I could tell him anything. 

“Cobb stole my clothes while I was showering. So I marched through town in my towel to confront him.” I told him, his eyes widened as I told the story. 

“Emily! You can’t do that!” He scolded me. I rolled my eyes. I felt angry, he wasn’t there. That was selfish of me, but I was still mad. I handled the situation myself, and he wants to tell me what I can and can’t do. He hasn’t spoken to me in days, he walks away when I approach him, he dismisses me at every turn. Now he wants to pretend like he cares.   

“It’s already happened, so…” I say my tone clipped. There was a pause, I couldn’t help myself. “Have I done something to make you angry with me?” I asked. He furrowed his brows. 

“No.” He stated. I huffed. Not satisfied with the answer he had given. So he was avoiding me just because. 

“Well is something wrong, are you upset?” I tried to make sense of the distance he had placed between us. 

“No.” I bit my lip, I was an angry crier, hell I was an everything crier, but still I didn’t want him to see me upset like that. I didn’t want to break down and cry. I needed to hash this out, without him trying to comfort me, or leaving cause I was sad. 

“No, is that all you have to say? Don you haven’t spoken to me in days.” My voice wobbles, I take a breath trying to calm myself.    

“I’ve been busy.” I scoffed. “I have! I’m a leader now, these men depend on me.” His voice was harsh. 

“Yeah and you seem to make time for them. I’m in your team too.” I felt so selfish, but I was hurting, he was my person and he was just leaving me like I wasn’t his. Maybe I’m not his. 

“Why are you stepping back from me? I thought we were friends! I thought you said we were in this together! You promised me you would always be by my side! Has that changed?” I felt the tears brimming in my eyes. I thought back to after the incident in Noville, after I had washed up. Don said, no he promised me that we would look after each other. 

“I have a lot on my plate at the moment, I can’t be your babysitter! I can’t…” He trailed off looking at my face. Tears fell down my cheeks. That hurt, fuck that hurt. 

“That’s all it was? You felt obliged to look after me?” I couldn’t hide the pain, like a stab in the heart. So he didn’t care, really. He felt obligated to make sure I was ok, there were no feelings involved. It was an order, a duty he felt he needed to take. He opened his mouth, but the door to the room opened, a soldier asking for him. I wiped the tears from my face, turning away from the door. He stood and left. He left, he didn’t say anything, just left. I took a breath, sniffing, wiping away my tears. I felt sick. I scrubbed a hand over my face. 

I made my way back upstairs, the men lounging about. 

“Here she is the streaker.” Grant clapped me on the back. I gave a weak smile, but they didn’t seem to notice, too busy laughing at their joke. I grabbed my bag. 

“I have to go check on Lip!” I said, rushing out of the room. It was true, I should check on the very sick man, but it was a way to escape. I didn’t need them asking questions. I just needed to think by myself for a bit. I made my way to CP, it was quiet. I walked into the back room, sighing, pleased to see Lipton finally sleeping in his bed. I shut the door after ensuring he was breathing. I moved back into the main room, plopping down on the couch. I tried to get my emotions in check, but it was a lot, all I wanted was my mum. I just wanted a hug from someone. I sniffed, wiping the tears from my chin. Just a babysitter, I laughed in pain. I hastily dried my tears when footsteps approached the room. I glanced over to see Ron walk in. 

“Emily? What are you doing here?” He asked, walking further into the room. 

“I just came to check on Lip, he’s sleeping.” My voice betrayed me, wobbling slightly as I spoke.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Ron moved quickly over to me, kneeling in front of where I sat. 

“Nothing.” I shook my head. More tears falling down my face. His brows pinched as he looked at me.     

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, moving to sit next to me. I shook my head. “Do you want anything?” 

“Can I have a hug?” I whispered. Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around me. Pulling me into his chest, I clung onto his arm that held my front, he gently stroked my hair. My mum used to hug me the same way. The thought made me cry harder. 

“Shh.” He cooed, rocking us slightly, his chin resting on the top of my head. I felt like a child again, after falling over, being comforted by your parent. I felt so small in his arms, I felt so vulnerable, I didn’t have to say anything but he could see it all. He didn’t comment but he knew. 

We stayed like that for a moment, but I knew he was busy. I pulled away, his arms falling from around me. I wiped my tears, giving him a small smile. 

“Thanks.” I said weakly. He nodded, smoothing down my hair with his hand. 

“I have to go. Emily, remember you can come to me.” He said standing, I nodded, watching him leave the room again.  

—------------

I made my way back to the house, dragging my feet. I didn’t want to see Don. Before I left I looked in one of the broken mirrors, my face was pink and blotchy, my eyes all red and bloodshot. If anyone looked at me longer than a second they would be able to tell I had been crying. I mean when am I not crying, it’s been my permanent state since I arrived here. 

Lieb passed me on the street, “Hey we were going to see George, see if we could steal some goods, you wanna come?” He asked, but before I could answer he was already dragging me down the road. 

Lieb and I walked into the ration room where George was working hard. Before we had entered we’d heard Martin and Cobb pestering poor Luz for candy. 

Lieb waltzed right in, “Woah, Hershey bars!” Reaching over the counter to grab at the candy. George looked pissed, swatting his hand away. 

“Jesus Chirst.” He muttered, Cobb swung around telling Lieb to wait his turn. 

“Who are they for?” Lieb asked, pointing at all of the boxes filled with goodies. I stood behind the men just watching. I smiled at George, he gave me a wink back. 

“Not you Lieb!” George growled at the men. 

“Oh, come on George, one bar!” Lieb whined like a child, holding out his hand. 

“George!” I said sweetly, making my way towards him. I stood beside him wrapping my arm around his shoulders, his arm snaked around my waist. “You look so handsome today.” I smiled, putting on my charm. “So strong.” I said, patting his chest. He grinned at me rolling his eyes. “I love what you have done with your hair.” I fluttered my lashes, running my fingers through his hair.  

“Here, have a chocolate bar, you flirt.” He said leaning forward to grab me one from the box. 

“Ah, for me?” I gasped, placing my hand on my chest acting coy. He handed it to me. I smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“HEY! Hey, why does she get one!” Lieb protested. 

“Yeah what the hell George!” Cobb agreed. 

“Cause she’s pretty, unlike you ugly son’s of bitches.” He insulted them. I laughed, poking my tongue out at the men, I held up the bar rubbing it in their faces. George shooed me away, slapping me on the ass as I retreated, I let out a squeal in surprise, turning to laugh with the man. 

“George one bar!” Lieb pleaded. 

“No, there’s not enough to go around!” George yelled at them. 

I left quickly, seeing that Lieb seemed to be eyeing up my prize. 

—-------------

 “Let’s go!” Chuck shook me awake, I had almost completely dozed off on my bunk, but was rudely awoken by the man. 

“Where?” I asked, sitting up stretching.

“Briefing at CP, come on.” He hauled me out of bed by my arms. I followed along, still spaced from being asleep moments ago. 

“Why am I coming?” I asked trailing along behind the group, yawning into my hand. 

“You're on call, if anything goes wrong.” Lieb tells me, I nod. I don’t actually think I need to be there, but I’m dragged to it anyway. 

Babe slings me under his arm as we walk. I let him lead me, only having my eyes open a crack. 

The boys slump down into their seats in CP waiting for the others to arrive for the briefing. I lean against the back wall by the window behind Web. I don’t need to be right up at the front with the rest of the men, as I’m not going on the patrol. Lt. Jones leans against the wall by the entrance looking nervous, quiet chatter filling the room. 

“Come on, he can’t be leading.” I hear Grant whisper to Babe. There had been a rumour spread quickly, no surprises there, these boys gossiped like no one’s business, that Jones was leading the patrol. Which made them all very apprehensive of going, more so than before. We all saw what happens when we don't have a good leader running the show. Cough, cough Dike. 

“I’m not sure what they decided.” Babe said to him. They lounge with their legs propped up on the table same as the other men gathered around the table. 

“No way. Not on his first day.” Grant continued in his disbelief. 

“Well, do you see any other officers here?” Lieb asked.

More men gathered in the room, standing around the table. I could make out a few of them Cobb, Skinny, two other guys I couldn’t remember their names. 

They chatted briefly, with the new men wondering who was going to be in charge of the patrol. Sending worried glances to the young officer in the corner, hoping and praying it wasn’t him.

“10-hut!” Jones announced. I had no idea what that meant, but I straightened standing tall. Since when did we do this? 

“Jesus.” I heard Lieb mutter to himself as he stood. 

“At ease.” Winters told the men who relaxed back into their seats, Martin followed in behind him. 

I kind of listened, kind of didn’t. I got the basics, the patrol was happening at 0100, how fun! That 15 men were going over on the patrol, which was a prisoner snatch. They had four rubber boats to go across the river, so that they didn’t have to swim in the icy cold water. Most importantly Winters informed the men that Lt. Jones would in fact be the ranking officer, but he was going to be shadowed by Martin. Sergeant Martin was going to lead the patrol in place of Malarkey. My brain clicked on, he isn’t going. I sighed with relief, I was glad he didn’t have to go.

I also didn’t miss the look shared between Jones and Web, neither did Martin glaring at the pair of them. What had they been up to together for that kind of interaction? Had they been planning this. I know Jones wanted in on the patrol. What had Webster done to hook him up with the position he was in now? Webster didn’t have any pull around here, he literally just arrived back! 

“10-hut!” Jones’ voice pulled me from my thoughts, no one stood at attention which is what I assumed the call was. 

“As you were, carry on.” Winters said disappearing with Martin.     

“A little German, he speaks as much German as me.” Lieb said loudly enough for Webster who was standing right beside him to hear. Webster left the room quickly. 

“Come on you, let’s go.” I was again dragged from the building by Grant and Lieb. We gathered outside, the pair bitching loudly about Webster. 

“Hey.” I said smacking the pair of them. “You two are shit stirrers.”

“What are you siding with him?” Grant asked. 

“No, I’m not. But I feel bad.” I wasn’t here to bully the poor guy.

“Why do you feel bad Em? That guy has been on holiday for four months, during our hardest time and then just rocks back up when everything is almost over to take all the glory.” Lieb told me, clearly pissed off.  

“Em is just too sweet.” Grant said, pinning me under his arm and trying to tickle my neck. I hunched my shoulders up trying to hide the ticklish skin from his fingers. 

“Let’s get moving. I want to try and get some shut eye before we do this.” Lieb said, Grant let me go from his hold. I hid behind Lieb using his body as a shield as Grant continued to taunt me with his wiggling fingers. 

We walked back to base passing Webster who was talking to the officers. 

“Hey, Liebgott, you want to sit this one out?” Ron asked Lieb as we passed. Grant grinning beside him. 

“Yes, sir.” Lieb agreed, smiling brightly. “Thanks buddy!” Lieb sent Webster a wink. 

I caught Ron’s glance, his eyes scanning my features. I could tell he was trying to see if I was alright. I sent him a smile, mouthing ‘I’m ok.’ He nodded, turning back to the men he was talking to.  

—----------

We gathered in the basement having supper before we tried to get some sleep. I sat at the table sipping my water. My bad mood was back. Don was pretending like everything was fine. He smiled and laughed with the men, sitting and chatting with them. The more I watched him the more pissed off it made me. I was over here stewing, and he seemed like he didn’t have a care in the world. 

“You’re going to crush the cup if you squeeze it any harder, Em.” Lieb said, sitting next to me. I loosened the hold on my cup not realising how much power I had behind the grip.

”I thought you would be in a better mood, now that your husband isn’t going on the patrol?” Lieb with a full mouth of food. 

“Emily, you want some?” I looked up, Don stood in front of me holding out a pot of food, a lazy smile on his face. I took a breath, trying not to hurl my cup at his head. 

“I’m fine, thanks. Not hungry.” My tone clipped. He nodded, moving onto the next person. 

“Oh no, trouble in paradise?” Lieb nudged me. 

“Fuck off, Joe!” I sent him daggers, he held up his arms in surrender.  

“It must be bad, you never swear at me!” I chuckled, he smirked, “Aw there she is. Gosh that other one was scary! She looked like she was going to bite my head off.” I raised my eyebrows, cautioning him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked more seriously now, coming closer to keep his voice down. 

“Nope. Not particularly.” He gave me an empathetic smile, rubbing my back. 

“Come on, you know you’re hungry.” Lieb offered me his food out on the spoon. I rolled my eyes, but opened my mouth. He placed the spoon in my mouth. We shared his meal, he secretly snuck up to get more for the two of us. 

We sat at the table talking when Webster approached us. “Hi.” He smiled, giving an awkward wave. Lieb nudged me under the table, I knew he was asking if I had seen the same thing that he did. I glanced over to Lieb, a small smile pulling to my lips as he hid his smirk behind his hand.  

“Hey Web!” I said politely, focussing back on the man standing before us. “You gonna go get ready for tonight?” I asked, the other men had slowly left the room preparing themselves for the patrol, Martin had told them nothing rattles, nothing shines so they don’t give themselves away. 

“Oh yeah, I was just going to head up and join them.” Webster smiled at me. Another kick under the table from Lieb but I ignored him. I waited for Webster to say something else, surely he had something else to say right, he didn’t just approach us to stand there awkwardly. I silently begged him to speak again. Come on Web don’t make this weird. 

“You look nice.” He blurted, I heard Lieb snort in laughter. He made it weird. “I mean, you look clean.” I made a strange looking face at him, “No, not clean! Um, you look, dressed.” I chuckled, baffled by his comments as he fumbled over his words. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna, go.” He nodded leaving up the stairs. Joe waited for him to leave the room before howling with laughter, he clutched his belly as he did so. I sat there so confused at what just happened.  

“That was a train wreck, that man cannot flirt.” Joe said after he had finished laughing.  

“Flirt?” I asked, that’s not what I got from the conversation. 

“Emily! Come on, he was clearly trying to flirt with you.” Lieb looked at me surprised. 

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head, surely he wasn’t. 

“God you’re hopeless.” He patted my back, getting up chuckling to himself. “Come on, we will do dishes.” Lieb instructed me. 

“We will do dishes? Or you will stand there and tell me what to do while you watch?” I raised my eyebrows at him. He grinned, knowing I had caught onto his little tactic he pulled last time. 

I washed the dishes while he dried. I dried my hands on the tea towel as Joe waited patiently for me to give it back. A devious grin formed on my lips. I twirled the tea towel round in my hand wrapping it around itself so it looked like a long snake. Joe wasn’t paying attention as I walked closer to him. I snapped the tea towel out, whipping him in the butt. 

“Hey!” He cried moving away, it wasn’t the best flick, it didn’t snap like I wanted it too. I tried again, wringing the tea towel around. I flicked it out but Joe snatched it off me before the hit landed. He grinned as he did the same thing, wrapping the towel up. 

“Joe! Joe! Think about it, you don’t want to hurt me.” I said backing up, he stalked me like prey with a grin plastered on his face. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish then!” He moved faster, I screamed moving away from him as he chased me around the table. 

“Joe!” I cried as he backed me into a corner, I held out my arms trying to keep him at bay. He whipped out the towel it snapped just inches away from me. I yelped in surprise, making my move to run past him while he reloaded. I pushed past him but he was quick, the towel snapping onto my leg. I let out a cry, it had caught the back of my thigh. The snap echoed around the room. 

“Oh Em, that was so much harder than I intended!” He laughed as I grasped at my leg hopping around the room. 

“Ow!” I said, but still laughing, “Joe you asshole, that hurt!” I rubbed the spot where he had got me, it stung so much. “You little shit!”

“I’m sorry, aww Em!” He laughed watching me in pain. “That would’ve left a mark for sure.” He grinned. 

“Owww, I think it did. Wait, I want to see!” I said undoing my pants, it was fine I had my shorts underneath which I normally slept in. I pulled them down exposing the back of my thigh. On my white skin was a harsh red welt with flicks of purple in the middle. 

“Joe!” I said covering my mouth, it looked so bad. 

“Oh god.” He hissed looking at it. “Whoops.” He said, still grinning. I smacked him on the arm, pulling up my pants. We finished the dishes together. Heading upstairs to get some sleep before the patrol. 

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Chapter 22