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lulusoblue · 4 years ago

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so I did some maths when this topic came up with friends in chat (because fanfic requires the smallest of details when you are obsessive and anxious of quality lore checking), and I figured out that Elizabeth never gets past the age of 20 in Infinite and its DLC not counting the bad future where she was injected with a spinal shock collar for 70 years.

So to the rest of Columbia, Elizabeth is 18 at the start of Infinite, July 6th 1912. This is presuming that Comstock would claim Elizabeth was born on the day he kidnapped Anna, October 8th 1893.

I looked up the stages of baby development and compared baby Anna’s behaviour - recognises Booker, some attentiveness to surroundings - to that based on what we see within the game, and she can’t be any more than a few weeks/month and a half-ish old, I’d need to check. Presumably, Anna’s true birthday would have been at earliest in August in this case, so Elizabeth’s true age is a month and a half older than the birthday I presume she’s been given (if Comstock even let her HAVE a birthday in isolation which I wouldn’t put past him).

So Elizabeth starts the game at age 18, three months from her birthday as the Lamb of Columbia and actually a month or so shy of her true birthday. We don’t know exactly how much time passes from the fairgrounds to Emporia in-universe, probably no more than a few days based on the radio snippets we hear, but by the end of Infinite she’s definitely 19. Booker is jumped forward 6 months by Old Elizabeth, from where Songbird takes Elizabeth back to Comstock to the operating theatre in Comstock House. Since we have to go with the “rough” time measurement, Booker interrupts the procedure at Comstock House in January or at latest early February in 1913.

I wouldn’t say any more than 24 hours passes at this point, as there’s no transitions to suggest more than a day passes between freeing Elizabeth and confronting Comstock on his airship. We hit the ending, and Elizabeth attempts to erase Comstock completely by drowning Booker.

In Burial at Sea, Elizabeth arrives in Rapture on the 8th of October 1958. We can presume this is right after attempting to purge all the Comstocks as she’s still in her blue dress, and since she has merged with every other Elizabeth according to the story, she would likely set out for her revenge on the last Comstock as soon as possible. She then goes about blending into Rapture and learning as much as she can, then goes to work under Sander Cohen to get information on his child trafficking and Sally’s current location. She then goes to Booker on the 31st of December 1958.

Elizabeth only spends less than 3 months in Rapture after the events of Infinite, so by her false birthday based on if she stayed in Columbia she would be 19 years and 7-ish months old, and based on her estimate true birthday month she would be 19 years and 8-9ish months old. This isn’t even considering how being an omniscient being might affect how she ages, which we also don’t really know about the Luteces.

So, Elizabeth never even reaches a full second decade before she goes through a multitimeline trauma compilation, which then drives her on a merciless revenge quest that nearly gets an innocent child killed, which starts with her entering an adult book shop to trade her Columbian attire for Rapture attire with an employee of a peep show, then has to go to work under the man complicit with child kidnappings and who is actively trafficking said children so she can get information from him, then gets stripped of the powers that helped free her to make amends for the aforementioned child-gets-doomed-in-the-revenge-plot scenario, then has to suffer in a 4-8 hour lowest point DLC that includes every major male character from the first game ramping the assholery up to 11, THEN goes through an ATTEMTED LOBOTOMY WHICH NO OTHER - read, *male* - PLAYER CHARACTER HAS HAD TO GO THROUGH, and she goes through this harrowing journey for the slightest chance of some small redemption by getting bludgeoned to death by a player avatar’s primary melee weapon of choice.

I don’t know how finding out Elizabeth’s age for the duration of Infinite and its DLCs being 19 for the most part ended with me getting angrier at Ken Levine’s writing for the character he says was “like a daughter” to him - I don’t even know why I obsessed over this and ranted about it to my friends in the first place - but it did I am indeed angrier knowing this. Bad enough when I presumed she was at least of the average legal drinking age by BaS, now I know thanks to timeline investigation that she was barely a young adult when she went from Disney Princess in complete social isolation her whole life to broken traumatised abused and bloody corpse in the span of less than a year.

I don’t know how to end this post so I guess the conclusion is we have another small log added to the fire of “Levine hates the women he has to write for”.

#bioshock #bioshock infinite #elizabeth comstock #burial at sea #episode two what episode two #i don’t know why this special interest in particular has me going into a hyperfixation rabbit hole of small things #but it does #this has the exact opposite mood of figuring out how tall eleanor is #i find out eleanor’s true height i’m elated #i find out elizabeth’s true age i’m depressed and enraged #i don’t think any of this confirms that levine hates women #because we already knew that WITHOUT elizabeth’s age being a factor

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allie1804-fan · 4 years ago

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The Middle of the Road (Chapter 16)

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 , 9, 10, 11 , 12, 13 14 , 15

Warnings: None

September 2024 – Toronto Emily and Keanu flopped down on the bed in their room at the apartment they were renting in Toronto for the week of The Toronto International Film Festival. They had just arrived from LA and were travel weary. He had just had his 60th birthday and would be receiving a Tribute award at the festival, a great honour for any film maker but an especially treasured one for Keanu who had grown up in the city. He remembered when the festival used to take place in his neighbourhood of Yorkville in the late 70s so the whole event was very close to his heart.

The whole family had decamped from LA including their Nanny Maria which would enable them to attend the evening events as well as do some promotion. Keanu had done voice work in a film being premiered there which had a U certificate so they would all attend the afternoon screening. They were taking a bit of a risk with Hannah but Emily or the nanny would be able to take her or Johnny out if either of them got unsettled.

After they had rested up a bit, they all went out to a local Italian restaurant around the corner from the apartment and enjoyed a simple relatively quick meal before getting the babies back home to bed. The next morning found Keanu and Emily enjoying some free time looking around his old haunts – he’d shown her his home in Yorkville, his elementary school, ice hockey stadium, the Leah Poslun Theatre and the location of his first kiss!

“Right there?”? Emily was pointing with an aghast expression on her face at a dingy alley behind a bike rack at the back of an old Walgreens store.

“Yup – I know. I’ve got a bit classier in my old age I hope you agree.”

“And what was her name?”

“Angela”

“Now THAT is a 70s name if ever I heard one. I guess at least your name is just totally unique and not linked to an era like some”

“She was sweet – but not long lasting!” Anyway, I think that is the complete high, and low, lights for you. We better get back and get some lunch before this afternoon’s shenanigans” He was referring to the premiere of his film which was an afternoon affair so kids could attend. Some local children would attend as well as press and the stars and their families. Johnny and Hannah would be there – with the exit strategy of mum or nanny if it was too much. They had watched films at home and had quite good attention spans but Hannah had only been in a movie theatre once and so was a bit if an unknown quantity behaviour wise.

It was also to be their first red carpet as a family. They had kept the children well shielded so far but, accepting that complete privacy wasn’t realistic, they had decided to attend this premiere all together. They all dressed in smart casual clothes rather than the suits and ballgown style of Oscars and that was needed given they would have the kids next to them snacking on ice cream! The press and fans were enthralled with the kids, both dark haired and with big brown eyes strongly favouring Keanu but with the delicacy of Emily’s features. After letting her walk on wobbly legs for a little while, Keanu scooped Hannah up and carried her while Emily walked with Jonathan and Marie brought the buggy and a change bag just in case. Hannah loved waving at everyone and fans called her name which made her laugh. Johnny joined in with waving too, sensing that this was something special but not really at all clear what. It was going to be a while before they understood that their Dad wasn’t just special to them!

The kids enjoyed the film and made it through the whole hour and half without a melt down to everyone’s relief.

That evening Emily and Keanu appeared on a panel about a project they were working on together. There were inevitable questions about how husband and wife could work together which they fended off deftly - working together was after-all how they met and it felt easy compared to parenting and they were glad to keep the topic work focussed. In the next couple of days they each took part in other promo for their work and had a meal out, just the two of them. There they talked about the award show that would be the following night.

“You nervous?” Emily asked as she sipped her coffee.

“Am I ever!” He groaned. “All that intention is intense – I’m used to parts of it – the red carpet, the photos, being filmed in the audience, even being on stage handing out awards or receiving a less significant gong but such focus, and a speech – phew, it’s crazy”

“It’s what you deserve honey, you know that inside don’t you”

He shook his head,

“It’s an honour, such an honour but, no, I don’t know it – it just feels surreal”

“Well just try to enjoy it if you can, hun – OK?, Want to run through the speech back at the apartment?”

“Sure, that would be great to have a writer’s input”

The award day came and they passed as much of it as they could focussing on the kids, taking them to one of the lakeside beaches for playtime and a picnic but eventually time came for the ‘dressing up game’ as Keanu called it. Both of them would spend a few hours being “made beautiful” for the cameras with stylists primping and polishing their hair, clothes and make up to within an inch of their lives. They left the children with Maria and they would tune in later to see Mommy and Daddy on the TV walking the red carpet.

Emily was wearing a stunning sleeveless, full length taffeta gown in red and her birthday necklace to match her ruby engagement ring and Keanu was in the tux he’d worn to the 2020 Oscars. Emily’s palms were sweaty even before they left to go to the theatre. She’d attended public occasions before where there were paparazzi but only one awards show about 4 years ago so she was nervous of the attention, especially as the news of their marriage was still quite fresh.

As they climbed out of the car, Keanu whispered in her ear “Just imagine everyone naked” before they started to make their way up the red carpet, making her giggle and relax just a little.

“I feel like the wives in Apollo 13, if they ask me anything. I’ll just say “I’m proud, happy and thrilled”

“Are you likening me getting an award to going to the moon or a life-threatening mission?!”

“the former for you and maybe the latter for me!”

At first she held Keanu’s arm in a death grip but gradually she relaxed especially as she saw the smiling faces in the crowd and she saw Keanu relax too, signing photos, DVDs and books and posing for photos. Several fans encouraged her to pose alongside him, surprising her. It seemed some people were happy to see him happy with his marriage and kids and thus welcomed her with open arms.

There were a few reporters on the red carpet who stopped them for a few words. Keanu made her laugh, though she tried to hold it in, when he responded to the question of how he was feeling to be receiving the Tribute Award.

“Well I’m proud, happy and thrilled” he said, giving Emily a wink which made the laughter bubble to the surface. They moved on and at last made it into the auditorium and were shown to their seats.

There were several other awards before his but at last it was time for his big moment.

The presentation started with a show reel with clips from his most famous movies as well as some of his lesser known early ones which made him blush. He leaned over and whispered to Emily

“At least they’re not showing the Coke and cornflakes ads!”

After the reel, there were some video clips from some of his directors and co-stars praising – his work, his character and his work ethic. There was Chad Stahelski, Sandy Bullock, Carrie-Ann Moss and Lilly Wachowski. Then it was time for the award itself which Lana Wachowski presented. As he walked up to the stage, the whole auditorium stood, clapping and cheering. He was right, Emily thought, this was really overwhelming! She dabbed a tear away as he took his place at the podium and took a moment to let the applause fade.

“Firstly let me say a huge thank you for this great, great honour - to receive this in the city where I spent my formative years is really very special so thank you.”

More applause erupted then quickly subsided allowing him to continue.

“I owe this award to many other people - first and foremost, I’d like to pay tribute to my mom for believing in me all those years ago when I asked her one day, would it be ok if I was an actor and she simply said ‘whatever you want son’.

And thanks must also go of course to the teachers and directors at the schools where I did plays and at the Leah Posluns Theatre where I really began to learn my craft- thank you for lighting the fire.

Looking back, the reel you showed just now only served to remind me how much I love movies. And a key reason over the years for that love and indeed for much of my success has been the joy of collaboration when making them. Collaboration with many wonderful directors, actors, cinematographers, stunt coordinators, make-up artists, caterers, runners to name but a few is what I thrive on. And they have all made me look good. And I know sometimes I’ve made my fellow actors look good too by how bad I was! Special thanks to Winona and Gary in that regard!

And I can’t forget the writers, for one thing my wife would never forgive me if I didn’t give them a mention.”

Keanu looked over and caught Emily’s eye as she sat in the front row beaning with pride.

“Writers have gifted me some amazing, memorable characters, some of them coming back time and again like Ted, Neo and John Wick. And I think special thanks are due for all the Johns, Johnny’s and Jacks and the quarterback punks that have been a recurring theme for me and such fun to play.

So I love movies and I love the opportunity they give me to tell stories.

But this year, as I hit a big milestone birthday, I am in a new phase in my life and I’m planning on being focussed less on the stories in films and more on my own story. Over the years, my fellow actors and the crews have been like family to me, a band of brothers and sisters if you will. But 5 years ago I met and fell in love with a wonderful woman and she became my family. Then 2 years ago we became parents - and now there are 4 of us. And this year I also became a husband - in all these things as you can probably tell I was a late starter!

So whilst I’m not retiring, going forward I can’t and I don’t want to be the man who is all work and no play. I want to be with my beautiful wife and my kids as they grow and play my part in guiding them in their lives, in their story.

And hopefully, I’ll bring the riches of that experience of being a parent and a husband to my future roles.

Thank you”

There was rapturous applause at this end to his speech and Emily found herself crying once again at his very public commitment to a more balanced life for them all going forward.

Keanu took his leave, heading back stage where there would be a few interviews to do before he could re-join Emily and head onto the after-party. There was a brief break in proceedings and Emily made her way back stage to meet up with him.

Keanu was just taking his leave from one of the news teams when he glimpsed Emily weaving her way between the throngs of stage hands, actors and publicists.

He headed in her direction and indicated a small alcove to the side to aim for. She reached it first and waited for him to join her, his progress being slowed by people stopping to congratulate him on his award and speech. When he finally got there, she threw he arms around his neck.

“That was, just, just”

“Wow have I actually rendered you speechless?” he laughed.

“You didn’t share THAT part of the speech!”

“You mean the bit about marrying a wonderful woman and sharing my story with her?”

“yes that part, you sneaky devil, you made me cry”

“Happy tears I hope?”

“Yes!” she smiled planting a kiss on his smiling lips.

@penwieldingdreamer @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @ladyreapermc @witty-wallflower @gatsbynouvel @bitchyslut99 @keanureevesisbae @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @kindainlovewithkeanu @paperplanesandwallflowers

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu #keanu reeves #keanu reeves ofc

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uwunnie · 5 years ago

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Update + Week 1 recap (Nov.7, 8:21 PM US Mountain Time)

Today marked the final day of the first week since this whole ordeal began. Truthfully, it feels like we somehow transported to the Dramarama video because time seemed to stop, but alas, here we are.

For the recap, I’m not going to put specific dates, but for today’s update, I will title it as such. You’ll see - this should be a pretty easy format to follow (tiki-taka),

For the sake of everyone’s timelines, the recap and update begin after this read more.

When news broke out regarding a Wonho’s sudden departure on October 31 (US and the like time-zones), may have been November 1 for other zones, there really weren’t that many updates in the way of efforts to bring him back. That day was full of shock, so everyone was more angry and depressed - even more so compared to now.

But after a day or two, Monbebes managed to channel their emotions into a bigger cause: Bringing Wonho home, and bringing him home we will.

Let’s recap:

Twitter Monbebes, Carter and Kei, organized the GoFundMe to raise $10,000 USD to purchase an ad in NY Times Square.

Within 45 minutes of initial service, the goal had been met.

After a couple days, the donations kept piling in and finally, as of November 3 - the GoFundMe closed at $25,102 USD ($15,102 USD over the original goal).

The ad’s payment was successful and the ad went up! However, my understanding is that the ad’s run-time ends in a few hours.

Ad’s location: New York, 42nd St. and 7th Ave., facing east.

Photos of the ad:

Reads: We shine brighter as a family, then proceeds to list each name of OT7 along with their logo and a photo of OT7 together with MONBEBE on the photo.

The board kicked off on November 6 and ran 30 times per hour for 15 seconds all day except 2-5 AM.

A petition calling to keep Wonho a member of Monsta X was published. Within a week, the petition is still going pretty strong with over 400k signatures. The goal is 500k, so I predict it will reach its goal within the next week.

The petition can be found here.

In addition, more projects/campaigns have been released since then and can be found in this master-post here.

Since this day, however, more projects have been revealed, so once I compile all of them, I’ll add them to the previous link.

Let’s remember:

K-MBB left sticky notes on Starship Ent.’s building. Eventually, within a few hours, a staff member was photographed collecting them.

News outlets began reporting about Monbebe efforts to bring Wonho back, thus bringing more attention to our goal.

Celebrities reached out and showed their support of Monsta X.

Monbebes began writing everyone to spread awareness - spanning as far as contacting Moon Jae-in, South Korea’s president.

Naver (shockingly) released a positive article - something that’s very rare.

Efforts are still being made to spread more awareness through physical ads in South Korea.

K-MBB’s held a silent protest outside of Starship Ent.

International fans flew to South Korea to participate.

Staff said they can and will welcome Wonho back.

Staff also helped Monbebes greatly:

Met with MBB’s on the day of the silent protest to help them cut out banners.

These plaques read, “I do not want to remain just a memory,” which are lyrics from If Only.

Supported MBB’s in the fan cafe - even went as far as changing their icons, I believe, to photos of Wonho.

Continued collecting MBB sticky notes and even provided tissues at the protests for those who were crying.

Continue encouraging us to continue with our efforts.

Other fandoms have showed their support for Monsta X and MBB.

International MBB are still organizing a silent protest from what I’ve seen circulating the web.

For Minhyuk’s birthday, MBB adopted four whales as gifts. One is a southern humpback named Monbebe, another a blue whale adopted in Minhyuk’s name. I’ve heard another one was named Monsta X, but don’t quote me on it because I’m not 100% sure.

Minhyuk’s birthday tag also reached #1 worldwide trend.

A set of stars were also purchased and named Lee Hoseok and Monsta X.

NY-MBB got a dance group to dance to Follow.

UK-MBB are hosting fundraisers in efforts to raise money for a central London billboard.

As I stated prior, all sorts of ad efforts were, and still are being, made.

Over 30 tags have consecutively trended worldwide for one week - many of them reaching -#1 trend several times.

K-MBB’s used the original fan chant during one of the performances for Follow’s promotions. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, it means that they used the OT7 chant including Wonho’s name.

300 fans were allowed into the Inkigayo recording - 100 over its normal capacity.

Tower Records, international music franchise store, showed their support in their Japan branch’s sector through MX signs and posters.

MX reminders:

Wonho is still active on the fan cafe.

Majority of the members have been active on the fan cafe.

Minhyuk posted this for his birthday:

Changkyun posted this two days ago:

Wonho is still on Starship’s official site.

This photo was posted a day or two ago:

For those that may not understand, the white ink is circling Wonho’s signature and name on the wristband. Some people claimed it doesn’t matter because those bands are pre-made, but to that I’d like to point out that those bands are made out of paper and his name is printed/signed on the end, so it would have been very easy for staff to cut off the end part if they really wanted to, or were instructed to do so.

This was circulating the web:

Speculations:

Nov. 7: Shownu wore Wonho’s shirt.

Nov. 7: Kihyun wore Wonho’s earrings.

Nov. 7: Hyungwon wore Wonho’s chain.

Nov. 7: Changkyun wore Wonho’s, or a similar, earpiece.

Nov. 7: Our boys left a space for Wonho at the end of their performance. Take a look here and see what you think.

Nov. 2: MX left a space for Wonho during Follow and Find You.

Nov. 2: Jooheon’s lyrical slip-up could have been in protest of what’s occurring.

In regards to this speculation, he did this recently again as well, so my interpretation is that it’s probably related to the protest as well as exhaustion.

Starship info and overall legal matters:

As far as my knowledge extends, this is the ONLY official statement SS has released:

The explanation/speculation of this letter can be found here.

SS is involved in their own, personal, controversy. I’ve made past posts regarding the situation, but for the sake of not stirring the pot, so-to-speak, I’m going to exclude them from this particular post. Until further information about their situation is released, or I feel it’s becoming a detriment to MX, I will bite my tongue.

In regards to 🐻’s controversy, SS confirmed the photos were manipulated (fake).

🐻’s searches have been cleared, at least from my knowledge. I’ve been told that they have been, but I’m not entirely sure if they’ve come back or anything.

I know a lot of people messaged me that particular night in regards to a YouTube video talking about 🐻’s situation and everyone was concerned it would spark up the searches again. I didn’t want to say anything until I saw the video taken down, but I messaged KJ and explained the situation to him. He had no ill intent with his video - in fact, he was trying to help clear the negative rumors revolving around MX. He was just simply unaware that, unfortunately, any publicity regarding 🐻’s situation would trigger the searches again, so I explained this to him and told him about MBB efforts. He completely understood and removed the video.

Updates from November 7:

MX received their 2nd win!

The video and post involving Hyungwon’s speech can be found here. HIGHLY recommend watching it.

GOT7 congratulated and hugged each member, and E-Dawn congratulated Changkyun.

Only 10 Monbebes were allowed inside for the performance, so Ahgases (GOT7’s fan club) held up Monsta X light sticks during our boys’ performance in place for the MBB not allowed in. Ahgase also helped MBB with the live voting.

In other words: Ahgase and Monbebe are each other’s sweethearts. 💚🤧💜

Jooheon told MBB not to cry.

They held a fan-sign to which:

Wonho’s photo was projected on the screen behind them. A link to the photo can be found here.

K-MBB informed MX of the Times Square ad.

Changkyun stayed this is the last week of promotions.

Kihyun said he will do a cover of Believer.

I think Shownu earned his PhD? Or is going to?

Jooheon confirmed the release of the studio version of Sambakja, or he said he might. I’ve seen people talking about both, so I can guarantee 100%, but Jooheon, if you’re reading this - please.

Trends continue meaning we’ve successfully trended for one week straight.

Eshy:

Voting for MAMA has been open and Monsta X is a nominee in all except a couple categories.

There’s two ways to vote:

Voting for them in specific categories on the website, here.

Voting on Twitter as well by utilizing:

#MAMAVOTE #monstax

Current twitter tags to trend as well:

#LoveUWonho

#우리_항��_네_곁에_있을게요

@/OfficialMonstaX

@/STARSHIPent

Overall reminders:

Do not engage in fan wars.

Do not engage in any hate towards the duo. I’ve said this in the past and it’s practically been confirmed: They’re trying to gather sympathy through the situation they’ve caused by trying to play victim. Popular sites are posting articles painting them in positive undertones and netizens are starting to support them because of the hate they’re getting on their social platforms and what not. Those comments can also be collected and utilized in the ongoing legal case, so please, do NOT engage with them. Instead, channel your energy into MAMA voting, campaigns/projects, trends, and other positive things that will bring Wonho home to us.

Messages to MX, project created by @wonderlanddragon, ends Nov.8/9. The posted regarding the details can be found in the campaign link above!

Bunnies for Wonho, created by @thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain, has been ongoing now. They’ve also planned a new project for a video, so please send in your favorite Wonho moment along with your name and/or nickname to them!

@stay-dont-strayy creates an International MBB project. You can find the info on their blog!

Kpop group chats have been created, links here.

@sezy001234 has also created five tumblr kpop group chats, so hit her up for details on everything!

I’ve also made a kpop tumblr group chat, so if you’d like to be added, send in an ask or message!

The source to find the bunny 7-1=0 profile pictures can be found here in seven different colors.

You can leave letters/sweet messages to the boys on the fan cafe. Please be mindful of the situations at hand when doing so and also, give a little extra love to our baby, Changkyun. MBB at the fan-sign have mentioned that he seems to be struggling the most and tbh, it’s been very visible in his performances and photos.

All seven are trying to be strong for us, so let’s try our best to be strong for them. ❤️

We’ve made it through the first week, babes.

We can do it time and time again.

I love you all. ❤️🤧

Let’s bring our bunny home. ❤️🐰

(Posting: Nov. 8, 3:05 AM US Mountain Time // yes, it took me this long to make lol)

#monsta x #wonho #shownu #kihyun #hyungwon #minhyuk #jooheon #changkyun #im #joohoney #updates #first week #monbebe

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troglobite · 4 years ago

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you have ACTUALLY got to be kidding me

so one of them (the only one who has been kind to me) texted and said the bday gift she got for me should have arrived by mail today!

and i was like oh my god yay! she got v close to my actual bday, which means she remembered without prompting, she didn’t make a show of it, and it’s REAL bc she told me abt shipping/delivery!

so i thanked her & then also thanked her for letting me know so that i can keep it separate from secret santa stuff that i’m doing

then IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT

the ~perpetrator~ texted to say

“yeah we’re sending out gifts AFTER the holiday bc of the carrier bottleneck. but we TOTALLY have everyone’s gifts sitting in a box here”

then they made a joke abt beans & everyone joined in

so let’s just

1. WEEKS ago, when i texted to say that the other one in the group was going to be getting christmas gifts in the mail from me, they, in a PANIC, remembered to get ME something. and claimed that my bday gift would be arriving.

2. i haven’t heard ANYTHING abt it or shipping at all ever since then

3. i have told them REPEATEDLY OVER THE LAST 2-3 YEARS that i HATE having my bday forgotten, and i HATE having it rolled into christmas or other holidays. and EVERY YEAR they have done SOMETHING to do JUST THAT. this year? they did all of it. they forgot my bday, and with a single text message, IGNORED MY BIRTHDAY WHICH IS IN 3 FUCKING DAYS and instead just LIED EVEN MORE to say that EVERYONE’S gifts are there and ~ready to be shipped after the holidays~

4. i literally already told them i have their gifts and i’m dropping them off at their places for christmas

5. we literally live within driving distance of each other, except for one person on the other side of the country, which is why they got their gifts from me early

6. when they, in a panic, were reminded that i existed and have a birthday this month, they said that when my gift ARRIVED TO ME, AT MY HOUSE that i could open it early

7. there is no such gift, they don’t know when my bday is, nothing arrived, and they just implicitly confirmed that

so just to recap in september i said to them

“i’m not feeling like a supported member of this group”

and i got scolded, told it was my fault, ostracized for 11 days, and then MADE TO APOLOGIZE before everything could return to normal

and ever since then? basically nothing has changed.

and now? now they’ve forgotten my birthday (except for the only one who didn’t ostracize me) and are stepping all over it in the exact ways i have told them a million times i hate having done

and they lied to me

not to make me feel better, but to make themselves feel better and look good

except, of course, when the truth comes out

also, again, i remember each of their birthdays and we did something for each of them even though it was in the span of 2 months

but mine? fuck me i guess.

fuck me.

and fuck them.

at least ONE of them cares abt me and remembers my bday.

like i get it. i don’t matter.

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my---druthers · 4 years ago

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Twenty Questions

Tagged by this bitch @isys777

1) What do you prefer to be called name wise? Enya pronounced Anya. I don’t really have any nicknames...

2) When is your birthday? New Years Eve BABYYYYYY

3) Where do you live? In all the different alternate universes i’ve made in my head to escape reality since I was a child 😊 🌸

4) Three things you are doing right now? Uhhh laying down....breathing....blinking...

5) Four fandoms that have peaked your interests: Well idk about fandoms, but I will have mild interests in things. Ya know like Harry Potter, Steven Universe, Star Wars.....idk if I have a fourth. Recently started watching Sailor Moon.

6) How has the pandemic been treating you? Whew CHILE!! Your girl done got into a relationship and out in the span of the 7ish months we’ve been in this god forsaken pandemic. Been at my lowest and honestly highest points of mental and spiritual health. Got a pet bearded dragon and surrendered it within the same WEEK. Safe to say it’s been a ROLLERCOASTER. ✌️

7) A song you can’t stop listening to right now? I dont currently have a song obsession.

8) Recommend a movie: TRUMAN SHOW!!!!! My fav movie of all time. Also Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

9) How old are you? 22 years on this prison of a planet

10) School, University, occupation, other? Graduated in August. I aint got no job yet because we’re in a ~pandemic~

11) Do you prefer heat or cold? HEAT.

12) Name one fact others may not know about you: I’m a photographer. Pretty okay. For now its just self photography and sometimes pictures of my friends or landscapes. Follow my insta @enya_moore (I think. Too lazy to look)

13) Are you shy? yes ma’am

14) Preferred pronouns? she/her I think. I truly don’t think I care.

15) Biggest pet peeve? WHEN PEOPLE TAP ME. DEAR GOD YOU DONT NEED TO TOUCH ME TO GET MY ATTENTION!!! Also unnecessary movie remakes. That includes sequels or just remakes.

16) What is your favorite “dere” type? No idea what the hell this is.

17) Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy, and 10 being the best it could be. Anyone says 10 is a fucking liar. But uhh I’d give my life a solid 4....maybe a 5....but no higher than a 5.2....because theres always room for improvement.

18) What’s your main blog? @my---druthers

19) List your side blogs and what they’re used for: I dont have one I dont think. I contemplated making one for photography or writing.

20) Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? Before becoming my friend you should know that I may seem very uninterested in what you’re saying but I promise I’m not. Sometimes I just dont know what to say or don’t feel like speaking so I wont respond but I swear I care! Also I’ve been told it takes some time for people to understand my humor because I’m monotone and sarcastic...it’s apparently not a good combination, but once you get me, you get me. Chances are I probably wanna be your friend suuuuper badly but I have terrible people skills and I’ll feel like you hate me so you may need to be the one to push the friendship at the beginning.

#I have nobody to tag so this ends with me ✌️

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dorotheajanegilmore · 5 years ago

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Devil’s Daughter

Previous: 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,

Chapter seven

I had been staying with the Winchester's for just over two weeks now. My purple case looked great against the brown walls of the guest room, really made it feel like home.

The first night I stayed at the bunker (Before visiting parents in NY)

"Sorry it's so plain." Sam has said when he first brought me in here.

I shrugged. "It's much better than my dorm."

He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah I know how ya feel. Stanford."

"NYU." I admitted and he nodded with an impressed face. "Creative writing."

"Law."

I cringed. "Smarty pants."

Instantly an attractive smile broke out across his face and he shook his head, blushing wildly. "No. I never graduated."

"I don't think I will either, at least not yet." I told him truthfully.

"I hope that decision isn't because of us? I know how it feels to have your studies cut short and if I could go back..." Sam paused before he shook his head, laughing at himself. "I actually wouldn't go back."

I laughed at his honestly and shook my head. "No, I've been contemplating dropping out for a while. This whole angels exhausting and paternity testing is just the push I needed."

"Right." Sam wondered over to the bed and sat down beside me. He looked at me with a face of concern. "How are you feeling? Honestly."

"Honestly?" I asked and he nodded. I let out a deep breath, letting my shoulder sink. "I feel...like it's not real. I haven't thought about too deeply or really acknowledged it properly. I know that's not healthy but I just don't know how to accept this. My family life has always been rocky, my mother hates me."

Sam recoiled and pulled an offended face, as if I had just delivered a blow to his stomach. "I'm sure she doesn't hate you." I knew that his situation was difficult at the moment. Dean told me that their mother was trapped in some sort of apocalypse world.

"Don't defend her, I promise. You'll see tomorrow, she hates me." I emphasised it again but he shook his head, not having it. I decided to just continue because there was no way in changing his mind. "So, how did Dean recover so quickly? Those guys tortured him too."

Sam shifted on the bed and adjusted his watch on his wrist. He was clearly uncomfortable the way he was sat because his legs are way longer than mine and even my legs ached. We were both sat criss cross and I couldn't take it any longer.

I moved to sit at the edge of the bed, Sam sighing in relief and copying me as he answered. "Castiel healed him. Dean was supposed to save you from those guys but they ended up injecting and torturing him too. Demons aren't really fond of us, we've made a name for ourselves as hunters and they didn't know he was working with Crowley."

I nodded understandingly. I bit the inside of my cheek as I thought about asking the next question. My curiosity got the better of me and so I asked. "Did you, do you and Dean think I'm evil?"

Sam thought for a moment, before gently taking my smaller hand in his larger one. "I won't lie to you. When Rowena told us that Lucifer had a daughter and we needed her help...I definitely believed you to be evil. I thought that we were gonna find you at a bar murdering people or eating babies." Sam laughed at that last part.

“Why eating babies?" I tilted my head to look at him, confused as to where he'd get that from.

"Because ya'know, Lilith eats babies? At least in mythology and all of my text books-"

As Sam rambled on I looked down at the ground. I had forgot about Lilith being my true mother, I was so busy worrying about the devil I forgot about his first demon.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Sam put a gentle hand on my shoulder and I shook my head.

"It's not your fault, Sam. I just can't believe I'm not a product of Christian and Rose. That Hallie and Alex aren't my blood related siblings. They'll always be my family, regardless of what a test says but I had that I don't have an actual connection to them. I hate that my blood isn't their blood. I hate that my blood is...evil." I sobbed as the word evil left my mouth.

Sam shook his head and wrapped his big arms around me, pulling me into him for a supporting hug. I cried into his red plaid chest as he held me tight. "You're not evil, Elle."

"You don't (hicup) know that!" I shook my head, feeling him hold me tighter. He began to rub his palm up and down my back, as if he was soothing a crying baby.

"No I don't, you're right. But if raising Jack has taught me anything, it's that we can't make quick assumptions."

———

Present day

(Two weeks living in the bunker)

I sat in the library with a book under my nose. Every waking moment of the passed week has been spent reading up on Lucifer, and learning my powers.

So far I have discovered my psionic energy blasts can be used in blasts, streams, waves and bolts to move things, lift and even throw things. Allowing me to hit, push or pull a target, potentially exerting enough force to destroy them. I had also improved my telepathy, I can control when to and when not to listen to thoughts so I could actually focus now.

As I was reading about Lucifer's cage I felt a presence enter the room. I was already on edge from all of the reading, Satan's not a happy guy. Feeling threatened I spotted a pair of scissors on the end of the table and used my new found powers to lift them up and send them at the person watch me.

As I span around, hands glowing red I realised who it was. Dean was stood at the door with wide eyes and hands held up in the air alarmed.

The blade of the scissors, surrounded by red wisps, hovered just inches away from his neck.

"I didn't mean to scare you, little red." He pushed the scissors away with his index finger. They landed in the floor with a snap and I sighed in relief.

"Dean, sorry about that." I felt immediate relief, so happy that it was him and not some creature I had been reading about. I cringed, hoping he wouldn't be to mad at me. "I'm reading about monsters so I'm a bit on edge.

"A bit?" He smirked, amused. He pulled out a seat opposite me at the table and sat down. "Is that why I was nearly executed in my own home?"

I nodded and slid the book over to him. I pointed at a paragraph and he quickly skimmed over it. It said;

The powers of a nephilim would be to great to raise such a creature on earth among mortals. A human woman could never contain a baby nephilim for very long as it could tear them apart. A nephilim will grow at rapid speeds, much faster than a human woman's body could contain. Once born a nephilim will reach adulthood within a matter of hours.

"Yeah." Dean nodded, confirming that the information in front of me was in fact correct. "Jack was born and within twenty minutes he looked like he was twenty years old.

"So how come I have baby photos? Actual picture evidence of me growing through the years. Every birthday party photo shows a year of progression. Am I slow? Am I broken?"

Dean chuckled at my outburst and shook his head. "Elle, there's never been an angel, demon cocktail baby. You're the first. Perhaps Lilith's genes are much slower."

"Or." Came a Scottish voice from the doorway. Rowena stood with a mischievous smile on her face as she danced her way over to the table.

"Perhaps I did a wee spell to aid in your human growth. I was there when Lucifer chose your parents and he made sure that Rose would be strong enough to encapsulate you for nine months, not to raise your relatives eyebrows at a two month unholy pregnancy. The spell made sure that Lucifer's child would grow as a normal human until she reached adulthood, then her powers would slowly blossom. That's why it's important that we found you." She lifted her martini up as if to cheers us before taking a large sip.

"I thought you want me to put him in a cage?" I raised a brow, wondering why she was adding to her story now.

Rowena shrugged. "That’s for the after party. Once we’ve rescued Mary from the apocalypse world, you and Jackie boy can work together to put him in a new cage, a stronger sturdier cage. Come on, had I told you this earlier you would’ve been overwhelmed and scared away. We need you, Red.”

Dean shook his head and pushed the book away. "Damn it, Rowena! Any other information you'd care to share?"

Rowena bit her lip and tapped her finger against her chin in thought. ”Aside from Lucifer wanting Jack and Elle back? No, not that I can think off.”

Next: 7

Tags: @lilulo-12 @vicmc624

#dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x ofc #x ofc #x reader #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #castiel #rowena #lucifer #mary winchester #dean winchester x reader

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sir-adamus · 6 years ago

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RWBY timeline

The show doesn’t give us too much reference for how much time has passed in-show, but we do get some indications throughout the show so i’m gonna try and lay them out (and line up some things roughly that were happening around the same time). i’m gonna break things up into seasons as we’re never given specific dates and one of our key frames of reference is gonna be Ruby’s age, as she’s introduced to us in the Red trailer at age 15, and we now know through Chibi that her birthday is the 31st of October, and from there we can roughly map out when everything takes place

everything else under the cut because obviously this got looong

~80AGW

okay so we know the Vytal Festival is held once every two years and has done since the end of the Great War, with the year the series starts being one of those years, and we’re told it’s the 40th Festival since it’s inception, so lets call this year 80AGW (After the Great War)

Winter

so we’ll start at the start - the winter of this year

only a few things happen here, namely the Red trailer/its manga adaptation by Miwa and presumably Weiss’s training with Winter in the flashback segments of the Weiss Character Short (but it’s Atlas so it could be later). the White trailer/its manga adaptation by Miwa could also potentially happen here

Spring

quite a lot happens here - so its best to bullet point from here out

White trailer/Miwa manga chapters 3 & 4 - time of year unclear, may be set not long before the start of school year as the purpose of the fight is Jacques (or rather his secretary) ‘testing’ Weiss, intending that she lose so she’ll go to Atlas Academy where Jacques can still have control over her, instead of Beacon, where she wants to go

Black trailer/Miwa manga chapters 5 & 6 - set at the same time as the flashback in 3x07 and the flashback of Blake’s V5 Character Short (that it’s set in Forever Fall doesn’t help, though 3x07 helps suggests it’s not winter and could be early spring)

Yang V5 Character Short - Yang mentions she’ll be starting at Beacon 'soon’ but evidently the two are still under the impression that Ruby will be staying at Signal this year. seems to be set around spring time

Yellow trailer/Miwa manga chapters 7, 8 & 9 - not long prior to 1x01 (as we see Roman hiring Junior’s thugs)

1x01 - not long after Yellow trailer, implied to not be very long before beginning of the semester

the assumption that these all take place in Spring is based on that during the school year we see, several months do pass and it ends in Autumn/Fall (though still before the end of October, we’ll get to that), so Spring is what makes the most sense here. now we get into the Semesters - the first semester seems to span Spring-Summer given the very temperate weather we see in Vale during this time

- Semester 1 (spring - summer)

Volume 1 - starts not long after the main events of 1x01. takes place over most of the course of this semester (episodes 2-10 being the first three days, then skipping some time further). within this, the non-Red trailer parts of manga chapters 1/2 occur, happening sometime not long after 1x10, detailing an event of Jaune getting bullied by Cardin, and Ruby fighting in the training arena for the first time (there’s a slight retcon with Ruby only deciding to wear her hood over her uniform after this event)

Summer

this semester takes place over a few months - this is when the preparations for the Vytal festival begin, and exchange students begin arriving, Ruby comments that it’s been “a few months” since she ran into Torchwick in 1x15

this episode also gives us a sense that the semesters at the other academies must occur in parallel with each other, as Cinder makes her reappearance, along with Emerald and Mercury, at the end of volume 1. we learn in volume 5 that they used Lionheart to get entrance into the tournament, and as the Haven students would notice a team they’d never met before representing them, the implication is that the posing as students was happening at Haven itself before they arrived back in Vale - this also serves as an explanation for why Cinder wasn’t directly involved in volume 1 and an in-universe explanation for why Neo wasn’t around to help Roman out, because she was the fourth teammate (and being used as blackmail against Roman no doubt) - this will be important later

a short time after 1x16, we get the flashforward at the end of chapter 6 of the Miwa manga, with Blake waking up having dreamed the events of the Black trailer and Yang getting extreme cuteness proximity over Blake’s ears

at some point following this, chapters 10-15 of the Miwa manga occur, depicting a training mission set after 1x16 (evidenced by Penny’s appearance, mention of her having been 'influenced’ by something - implied to be Ruby - and Roman scouting out the tunnels he will eventually be moving his operation into under Cinder’s orders); RWBY and JNPR fight a Grimm that fuses together 4 King Taijitu into a hydra-esque monster; said Grimm was originally living in the tunnels leading to Mountain Glenn’s undercity, and was accidentally released by Roman

- Semester 2 (summer-autumn/fall)

when the show resumed in volume 2, we’re told there’s been a minimum of a two week break since the last semester ended (Ruby mentions that “the last two weeks have been great” but that might not necessarily have been their entire holiday, for all we know Ruby and Yang went home to visit their dad)

2x01 starts the day before semester 2 starts, Ruby mentions that the tournament marking the end of the Vytal festival is at “the end of the year” as preface for how “our second semester is going to be great!”. this establishes that volumes 2 and 3 occur within the same semester (and this is going to be important later), and while yeah, there’s a season change, we know from volume 1 that semesters span ‘months’ (which does make it seem like there’s a two long semester school year and then they have winter off)

Volume 2 has a much more contained timeframe compared to volume 1, taking place over the course of a couple of weeks and Vytal festivities beginning, starting with the dance prior to first year students beginning to take on real missions around the Kingdom - it’s unclear if classes are still in session after this point for First Years (as higher year groups like CFVY are already on missions before this point)

Grimm Eclipse takes place somewhere between volumes 2 and 3, and lasts a couple of days, detailing another mission team RWBY took on (JNPR are DLC for the game, so their presence isn’t canon) against the mutant Grimm created by Dr Merlot, who also had a big hand in the destruction of Mountain Glenn (i’m just adding flavour text at this point)

Autumn/’Fall’

volume 3 wastes no time in establishing that we’re now in the tail end of the year - the leaves have turned, they’re falling, we get mention that the weather has gotten colder right before Ruby establishes that it is fall at this point

we also know that it’s happening before the end of October, as Ciel gives Ruby’s age in her profile of her and mentions that she’s 15 (and Ruby doesn’t move to correct her on that)

the volume itself is very tightly contained, with most of it taking place over the course of about 5 days (i’m gonna be using episodes as reference points but there’s some overlap)

- Day 1, 3x01 - 3x03: RWBY vs ABRN, JNPR vs BRNZ and SSSN vs NDGO and Winter arriving and Qrow causing a ruckus all happening on the same day (this also establishes that Qrow’s been on mission since at least before the volume 1 finale, as we got his message about Salem having pawns way back in 1x16)

- Day 2, 3x04: Takes place the next day, depicting the first of the doubles rounds EM vs CY, Qrow’s talk with Yang and Ruby and Winter’s talk with Weiss, and ending as Winter leaves

- Day 3, 3x05: next day, PC vs CD, WY vs FN, Cinder finds out about Penny (it’s dark outside the window in this scene compared to the next scene which is still late afternoon)

- Day 4, 3x06 - 3x07: Pyrrha gets her entire reality shattered, Yang vs Mercury later in the evening and how that all ended up

- Day 5, 3x08 - 3x12 (pre-timeskip): literally everything else happens in the same day

Ruby wakes up from her silver-eyes induced coma, implied to be a few days later

Winter

there’s a time skip in 3x12 that jumps to wintertime, when Ruby leaves with JNR to go to Haven, following Qrow’s tipoff. this means that Ruby is 16 from this point on - and she visits Summer’s grave, creating a bookend with the Red trailer. it’s unclear when exactly she left, it could’ve been December, it could’ve been as late as February, we don’t know

~81AGW

Spring

Ruby’s volume 4 character short, which features a village on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Vale (confirmed by Kerry) being attacked by Grimm, Ruby notices and goes in to clear the place - this is the earliest confirmed point in the second year of the show (as the winter sections of the volume 3 finale could still be happening in the first year, we got no clarification) but probably not too long after the volume 3 finale (although long enough for the snow to have melted) given how RNJR are still in Vale at this point, they hadn’t even left the Kingdom let alone the continent

now before we get to Summer, i just wanna point out a few things about the synchronicity of the arcs for each character in volumes 4 and 5:

the events of volume 4 for each character are actually all pretty self-contained to a few weeks (because they don’t make sense if they spanned any longer), they’re just not in sync with each other (though Yang’s and Weiss’s are close), and all appear to end not long before each character’s start in volume 5

Blake starts volume 4 having only just recently gotten on to the ship to Menagerie - it seems to be spring/summer time, given that she’s already dressed for warmer weather (and this arc ends not long before the 'present’ sections of her character short and the beginning of her section in volume 5, which is two months before the start of the Fall Semester at Haven, which further suggests summer time) and her abilities have evidently taken a leap - it’s possible the reason it’s taken so long for her to leave the continent is she’d been traveling to the eastern side of the continent on foot and then got on a ship there, which’d explain the advancement in her abilities and the necessity for the new outfit. Blake’s arc is, however, a few weeks ahead of everyone elses, with things wrapping up in Menagerie two weeks before the events at Haven which the other protags were only a few days away from

Summer

Ruby and JNR’s story starts with 4x01, where they’re helping out another village (so likely summer time, as this arc ends with them getting a lift to Mistral and Qrow recovering, with volume 5 starting not long after that, and that’s a month before the beginning of the Fall Semester)

Yang’s arc also seems to be summer time, again over the space of a few weeks (weeks are noted to have passed), and ends with a skip to her arriving in Anima, which can’t be too long before her appearance in volume 5 (which is a few weeks after 5x01 for Ruby and JNR, as Oscar notes having had the cane for 'a few weeks’ before Yang and Weiss arrive)

as mentioned Weiss’s arc was more or less parallel to Yang’s, seeming to take place over a few weeks and ending not long before where she was at the beginning of volume 5 (and she can’t have been with the bandits too long before Yang showed up - they were planning on ransoming her and she was planning on breaking out with her summon)

In 5x01, Haven is noted to not be in session a month prior to the Fall semester starting. The commentary for this volume notes that they are between semesters at this point, not school-years, thus suggesting a month-long gap (at least) between semesters

While a month passes in Ruby’s timeline by the end of this volume, two days before the Fall semester, it still appears to be Summer time, as the leaves haven’t begun to turn (Mistral is in a similar east-west lateral line as Vale and a fairly temperate climate on a mountain, the effects of Autumn should have set in by this time) - this makes sense when you remember that the semesters of the Academy school years more or less line up with each other; so the Fall semester has to line up with Beacon’s second semester, which means the battle for Haven is taking place roughly a year after volume 2′s Best Day Ever

now we move on to our latest volume, volume 6

now despite the snowy setting, only two weeks have passed in-universe, as confirmed in 6x01. the reason for the sudden climate difference is that the heroes are going from the more temperate regions of Mistral to the colder, snowier parts of the continent in the north

this also places most of the events of the volume about a year after the dance arc - just for reference, we’re still a couple months out from Ruby’s 17th birthday at least (i know Lindsay’s said on two occasions that Ruby is now seventeen, but a couple of points against that; the timeline the show gives us doesn’t support it, it’s not direct word of god and both times Lindsay was answering a question quickly, which means it’s not great confirmation as it’s hard to answer accurately when you’re on a time limit or distracted and without reference materials to confirm it)

and it’s actually pretty easy to determine this, because here’s what Patch looked like in volume 3 Fall, prior to Ruby’s birthday

and here’s how Patch looks at the beginning of the Fall semester

these are very clearly not the same time of year

volume 6 itself has a case of the main plot taking place over about 4 days (day 1, everything from the Argus Limited to finding Brunswick farms, episodes 1-5. day 2, escaping Brunswick and arriving in Argus, episodes 6-7. day 3, trying to reason with Cordovin, JNR getting caught up with the plot and Oscar disappearing and getting a new outfit, episodes 8-10. day 4 - which could be a few days later, but not necessary - pretty much the rest of the volume and ending with arriving in Atlas that night) and then other plots going on at different times

- Adam’s slaughter of the remaining White Fang is some point in the two week time skip, as we see him with his new blindfold - it’s hard to see under the hood but you can see it - during the Argus Limited attack, presumably he just waited in Argus for Blake to show up again, as his appearance in 6x07 was a hallucination, as evidenced by his vol 1-3 outfit and mask

- Cinder arrives in Little Miss Malachite’s territory a month after the Battle of Haven, already a few weeks behind the team, and she’s attacked by and forms an alliance with Neo a week later. their progress involves trekking back to Haven and then stealing an airship, so it’s difficult to pinpoint where they are timelinewise right now

- everything with Salem and the other villains happens at some point in between these two events, as by process of elimination, Hazel was ‘the big guy’ asking after RWBY that Little Miss’s bodyguard mentioned having arrived a week prior - as this is pretty much the only way he’d know that Ozpin’s taking the lamp to Atlas

#RWBY #long post

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howaminotinthestrokesyet · 5 years ago

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Eric Clapton: Random Quarantine Thoughts

1. Wonderful Tonight Again... The running joke whenever I hear this song is everyone in this country who went to high school in the 1990’s heard this at least once at a high school dance in their youth. I actually initially liked this song, but the fact that it became such a cliché made me unable to listen to it for years.

2. So Many Bands Not Enough Time. Eric Clapton was in a ton of bands throughout his career. Let’s see if we can name a few. There was John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers, Cream, Blind Faith, The Yardbirds, Derek and the Dominoes, and I am probably missing others. He is the Larry Brown of music. I have always wondered if the reasons for his exit from each group are at all similar or was it the same thing every time. I wonder if he ever asked himself if the problem is with him.

3. Temporary Cream. The band Cream is always thought of as the one band that you associate with Eric Clapton. I went back and looked at the history of it to find a couple of interesting facts. This was music‘s first super group. The band’s name originates from all three members being thought of as the cream of the crop within music circles. Cream was also only together for a very short period of time. They formed in 1966, but due to conflict between drummer Ginger Baker and Clapton ended things in November 1968.

4. Just the Blues M’am. For the longest time in the 2000’s, Clapton made only blues albums like Riding With the King. It was not until 2016 that he returned in any form to mainstream rock and roll that he is remembered for throughout his career. I have always wondered why he chose this blues path, whether it be passion, boredom, or trying to find a niche to remain relevant.

5. What Was It About Patty Harrison...Everyone knows the story about the song “Layla.” Clapton wrote it about George Harrison‘s wife, Patty. She would eventually divorce Harrison to be with Clapton. I have always wondered what was it about that woman that caused a Beatle and possibly the greatest guitarist of all time to fall in love with her. The question being what was so special about her. The irony is that Clapton eventually divorced her, but remained close with Harrison. That is probably as it should be.

6. Yardbirds What If’s... Clapton started his career as the first lead guitarist for the Yardbirds. He left the group to be replaced by Jeff Beck. Beck was joined and later replaced by Jimmy page of Led Zeppelin. I began thinking what would have happened with everything that Clapton did afterwards and Page with Led Zeppelin, if either of them would have stayed with the Yardbirds. How much would have rock history changed? The other insight to be made here is how did the other guys in the group eventually drive away three Hall of Fame guitarists in the span of three years. That is something not easily done.

7. A Quiet Rock Star... I have been watching older live performances by Clapton recently. One of the things that struck me is the fact that on stage he does not say very much, but just goes about the task of playing each song in a very serious manner. You really do not see him smile too often and the one takeaway is that he is very businesslike. One has a hard time telling whether or not the guy actually even wants to be there.

8. Famous Friendships... Eric Clapton always had some very famous musicians as friends. Everyone knows about his connection to George Harrison of the Beatles. He was also very close with Jimi Hendrix. The week before he died Clapton had purchased a guitar to be given to Hendrix as a birthday present. He never got a chance to give it to him. Another very close friendship was with Duane Allman. He was integral in helping him write the song, “Layla.” Friends would remark that they were music brothers inseparable for a time, until he also died as well.

9. Like The Band... He was a member of quite a few bands over the years, but Derek and the Dominoes was possibly the most interested one. Clapton had been greatly influenced by the band and Music From Big Pink. He had great admiration for the group as an ensemble where everyone was equal musically. There was no lead singer, lead guitarist, and he wanted to replicate that with Derek and the Dominoes. The guitarist would just be a member of the group, but not the star. This worked for one album, then arguments began on the second album, which led him to disband the group.

10. Remember That Movie... Many music fans remember ”Tears in Heaven” from the early 1990’s. They probably also recall that it was written in memory of his youngest son, who had recently passed away. Yet, people may not remember, or not even realize that this song was actually written for the film, Rush. The film starred Jason Patric about two undercover police officers in Texas trying to catch a drug dealer. The irony being that the drug dealer was played by Duane Allman‘s brother, Gregg. I actually saw the film in the theater when I was in high school and owned the soundtrack.

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hollywoodx4 · 7 years ago

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Sticking With the Schuylers (49)

It’s here, I finished! Thanks for your patience, this one is an emotional burden, and honestly took a lot of time. But hello to all of the new readers! I’ve been watching the notifications (thanks for liking, by the way) so thankful that you guys have given this long ass story a chance. This series is my entire heart, so thank you. I appreciate every like, comment...everything.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1112 I 13 14 15 16 17 18A 18B 18C I 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 I 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 I 43 44 B 45 46 47 48

Tagging: @linsnavi @workworkbae @adothoe @oosnavi

Warnings: This story is pretty heavy on mentions of both physical and emotional abuse.

“Schuyler Liar? A look into the life, love, and lies of America’s middle daughter.”

Social media was buzzing with a flurry of mixed emotions when James Reynolds, political hopeful, admitted the rekindling of his relationship with Elizabeth Schuyler. The two had called it quits in March based on terms James “couldn’t and still can’t understand.” In September, in flooded news of a new romance for the middle Schuyler. And in November, those rumors were confirmed. From there, Shuyler’s social media has been dotted with photos of herself and Alexander Hamilton, a fellow student at Columbia University. But even these photos, beautifully presented have raised a lot of speculation. The main question? Is Elizabeth Schuyler really dating this poise-less immigrant? Sources have been back and forth on this argument from the day Eliza herself confirmed it. And Mystery Man? His private Instagram has recently been made public, his follower count raising by the thousands.

But is this all just a publicity stunt? Reynolds says yes. According to an anonymous source, the two have started dating again. And Hamilton? A front. But other sources say that these allegations are also false. And at the center of it all? A red-handed Schuyler, caught in the act of serial dating. All three parties refused to comment on these accusations, Reynolds offering only “If it’s true, if she’s dating someone else, I don’t know what I’ll do. That would break me, I think.”

What do you think? We think that someone has some major explaining to do.

___

Madness is a murky pond; stagnant and still, a breeding ground for new life that isn’t quite wanted. The lurking of bacteria within that pond presents itself as a tightened stomach, nerves that roll and flip and eat at the soul. It’s the disguise of something simple that sparks the nerves, paranoia consuming the murky waters until they bubble over with the addition of new rainfall. But this is rain that falls heavy, with gale-force winds and storms that shake the land around her. This madness is a pond wracked by fallen branches. It’s a rain that will not cleanse.

Eliza spends a majority of her time in a state of busyness; the winter has brought along a lot of busywork she isn’t prepared for. The holiday season, and then Alex’s birthday, had come and gone so quickly that her course work piled up. Now, she sits on it-or, within the depths of it. With a full backburner of work, Eliza finds herself in a state of uncommon disarray; her hair in a messy bun, the canvas bag she uses to tote things back and forth now cluttered with a collection of her week’s discarded items. Empty gum wrappers crinkle as she gets out a book, the floor receiving a coating of glitter from an art project she’d lead in an Early Childhood class. Among these things, charcoals and pens that have lost half their volume, shortened by a newfound flaring of emotions she’s unable to convey through any other means.

Then, the white journal that Lisa had given her. She’d been asked to use it frequently, with assignments and with the use of another outlet. It’s supposed to help, to clear her mind and give her something to keep herself busy, and grounded to reality. So far, her work had spanned from a quote written in neat handwriting over the front cover (which she’d spent far longer on than necessary) to the first page, which she’d covered in Polaroid photos and similarly picturesque captions. Everything reads sweet, docile. She uses pastel pens and watercolor paints in this book, which she’d presented proudly to Lisa the next session.

“It looks very well put-together.” She’d turned the journal over in her magenta manicured hands, considering it with a nod and half of a smile before returning it to Eliza’s waiting hands. “Soon, we’ll work on pulling you away from that.”

Lisa does a lot of half-smiling in the weeks that pass; Eliza’s journal does not get filled, nor does what has been put inside encompass a stitch of her therapist’s expectations. Each week she presents it like a master chef showing off his greatest dish, and each week Lisa nods. She takes notes. She fills up the legal pad she’d opened when they’d first started working together and immediately opens a new one. Her hand can’t seem to stop during their sessions, where Eliza fills Lisa in on her week in broken up fragments, bits and pieces she tosses in to fill the awkward silence.

“Are you ready to talk about the journaling?”

Eliza shakes her head.

“I’m working on it.”

Thursday morning has Alexander practically bursting through the door of Starbucks, scanning the tables and couches until he finds her in the back, scribbling in a white book in an enclosed area of the room. He ducks past a line that swivels out the door, grabbing the espresso-laden drink John had made ahead before sinking into the seat across from his girlfriend.

Eliza doesn’t look up. Her eyes are glued to her book, her hand frozen in time. He clears his throat. She takes in a soft breath, just enough of a clue for Alexander to know that she hasn’t died right there on the unsteady corner table. He presses, saying her name again in a soft and gentle sort of tone before her head snaps up from her work. Eliza’s hands are shaking when she brushes the loose strands of hair from her face, combing it between her fingers before her long, dark locks fall over one shoulder. She tips her head in the opposite direction, leaning over the table for a kiss.

“How’s work?”

“Good, I wish I could go in and finish filing those papers though.”

“Does your boss have another stupid, weird task for you to do today? Dusting the ceilings of his office, getting his mail from the P.O box?” Alex turns his head slightly, subconsciously.

“Liza, it’s Thursday…I have off. We always meet here on Thursdays because of that, before my 7 a.m?”

“You’re right,” She shakes her head. “This whole change of schedule thing is really killing me, I only knew what day it was when I had to say it during morning lesson.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay over last night; our whole electric bill problem? Insane. They had to take the phone from me. Apparently I’m not as calm under pressure as Laff is.”

“You? Stressed? Never.”

She laughs, then, tucks her hair behind her ear again. There’s a crack; somewhere, within the smile that’s not quite hers and the shaking hands that bring a hot cup to peach colored lips. She’s not present in the writing upon it-Soy caramel latte, espresso- that’s not quite right, or in the way that her feet swing slightly under the table. He reaches over to take one of her hands, hold it in his.

“Eliza,” He can only say her name at first, stuck between her eyes and the half of her smile with a gentle sort of unease, one that hits him with only the smallest wave of rolling-stomach nerves. “Are you alright?”

One hand squeezes his. The other cups his face, thumb rolling off of freshly trimmed stubble that bristles as she touches it. She brings her lips to his cheek, lets them linger before releasing herself. There is just enough space between her lip and his cheek for air to pass through, and she speaks to him in a reserved, dulcet sort of tone before kissing him one last time.

“I’m fine.”

His nerves had always been overactive anyway.

Emptiness would have been a better companion than this-hell, it had been for a very long time. The more time she spends with Lisa, and on her work, the more she feels the progression of the inevitable collapse. She had been warned. Multiple times, Lisa had taken stock of their conversations and attempted to bring up the change in emotions that would come with the sudden release of what she’d been repressing. Eliza had brushed it off, told Alex and Angelica and Peggy to ignore the words. She’s always been the face of positivity. In a storm, she’s that first heart-stopping breakthrough of a lighthouse’s illuminating guidance.

She doesn’t feel much like a lighthouse anymore.

With each passing day; with the conversation crawling deeper, and the darkness cracking through its long-housed hiding place, Eliza feels like she’d like to hide as well. So she does. She fills her schedule with meaningless tasks, highlighted and underlined as if their significance is related to anything but her gradually fraying mental state. There is suddenly too much, yet not enough. Not enough work, not enough of a responsibility outside of herself to maintain. But this state of being is different, trapped between the living and the successful and those just barely scraping by. On any given day these feelings create a dissonance that wracks Eliza’s body with sickness and sucks away the hope. The confidence of success; of receiving a good grade, or reading a positive article written about her (finally, because these are now dwindling), makes her heart soar. But in that same note, that same day, the churning storm that hovers over her soul continues its darkness, takes that lightness and positivity away in one greedy draining of shining water from her shoreline.

“I need you to think about this for a moment, Eliza.”

She runs a lot; three miles, then five, and suddenly her feet are pounding against concrete and her heart against her chest and the ten mile mark rolls around and finally, finally, she can’t feel a single thing except the exhaustion that weighs on her bones and the sweat that drips down her nose. It cakes her face in moisture that blends itself with the salt-ridden drops that come from her eyes, osmosis implementing a perfect disguise. There’s a track her feet beat along the pavement; the heat of her frustration could melt the perfection of that shoveled, blackened tar, create craters of catharsis that don’t quite reach high enough into her mind to ebb her issues completely. There aren’t enough hours in the snow-ridden days, aren’t enough degrees on the thermometer to cure everything. She runs anyway. She runs until her cheeks are bitten red with cold, until the snow has penetrated black sneakers and wool-thick socks.

It feels amazing in the moment. In the moment, with the span of a sparsely populated Central Park is lain out in front of her, Eliza is able to clear everything else away. There is nothing but the bitter air and her hot breath, rhythmic and visible against the continually grey sky. At first, it’s as if every blog she’d been combing through held a truth comparable to her own; running truly is the best therapy, the curative she’d been looking for all along. It’s a stronger prescription than a silly white journal, or even the sketchbook under her mattress. For Eliza, running is the best therapy until her feet no longer hit the pavement.

Everything shatters when she enters her apartment again, strips off her sweat-ridden clothes and lets her body adjust to one simultaneous temperature. Without the biting wind or the surroundings of the busy city to distract her, the perfect solution she’d read and prescribed herself to so intensely becomes nothing but an illusion. There is no change in her soul, which is riddled with a hot-breath-in-February swirling, a smoke-and-mirrors game just teasingly perfect enough to hold an addictive property. When she’s home, when her feet are given their long begged-for respite, Eliza wants nothing more than to beat them up again. A shockwave of pain begins to pound up her leg, to knees that pinch and pop in protest. Her soul begs her to continue anyway, to carry on this bodily abuse if only for the temporary relief of her soul.

…

“I have something to tell you.” Eliza’s soft hum is her response, and she stirs the pot on the stove in concentration. The strain in Angelica’s voice is evident, yet hidden. The wood flooring knocks beneath what Eliza envisions as her sister shifting her weight from foot to foot, focused-or hesitating. She guesses the latter when Angelica lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.

“You know I love you more than anything else.”

“Yeah…”

“And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what,”

“Did John propose? Because I know you weren’t into that idea but if he did,” She can feel the roll of Angelica’s eyes before she sees it, stops herself mid-sentence and turns back to her work. There is an air about the room, an air between them that Eliza cannot decipher. It is not the golden, shimmering playfulness they’d had as kids, or when Peggy is with them and they’re hit with the freedom to spend the day together. It isn’t the air of purple guidance, a soothing lavender brushing against her porcelain skin when Eliza wasn’t sure if she was going to get into Columbia. It isn’t even the placid sort of mocha, comfort and a coffee shop warmth in just being together. This is something new altogether, a flickering orange that stops and starts itself as Angelica moves herself to stand next to Eliza at the counter. It moves up and down that orange spectrum just slightly as Angelica fidgets; taps her foot, puts a hand on the knob of the stove. It’s in her breathing, slightly irregular, and the press of her darker hand against her middle sister’s.

“Back in September, I applied for an intensive study abroad program in England. It would mean that I could get my double major completely done instead of having to come back to Columbia next year. I could be in a law firm at the start of next year. I could be heading protests, working with the Association for Women’s Rights in Development. Do you know how many job opportunities are right in this city, how many lives I could change?”

“So you applied.”

“I got in.” She nearly whispers the words, as if they are a secret so precious that she must keep them close to her chest. She breathes in, a great upheaval of emotions, before a wide and exuberant grin shift her mature, more collected features. It is a resounding firework of bliss and unfiltered pride that buries itself into Eliza’s stomach, and she begs her own lips to turn up in a congratulations she can barely manage.

“I’m so happy for you,” this is honest. Her mind repeats the words, holds on to them as her older sister runs through the details with a fine-toothed comb, explaining the process of application and sorting through the emotions that had been running through her head.

“When I got that letter, I just-I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t know what to do. It’s been a crazy month going back and forth, and John wasn’t happy with me for a really long time. But this is so important to him, and Peggy agreed that it wasn’t fair that you didn’t know, and,”

“Wait, Peggy knows?”

“Yeah…yeah, I told her when the letter came in, back when I told mom and dad and they were being crabby about my going across the country with John, as if we haven’t been dating our entire lives.”

“Oh.” It’s all she can muster. She turns back to the stove, where the soup has begun to bubble up rapidly from the lack of attention she has paid it. Eliza turns the burner down, focuses the turn of her stomach and the prickling of tensed nerves on the stirring of the liquids in the pot. She pictures her oldest sister, her source of guidance, spending a semester away from her in England. The grin that had encompassed her face, the one that had seemed so different on her typically composed features that would be a common occurrence at Oxford. John had always wanted this, Angelica had pretended not to. Eliza feels the tears before they come, attempts to blink them away.

It seems silly to cry over something as simple as this; Angelica deserves this happiness, this time apart from the chaos that is erupting. And Eliza is nothing but willing to give it all to her. If it had been her choice, if Angelica had come to her first, she would have sent her on that plane instantly. No matter what. There is a piece of her that realizes that. Angelica moves to hold her, to turn off the burner and wrap her in her arms.

When they were younger, when Eliza was scared or hurt or unable to sleep, she’d crawl under the duvet in Angelica’s room. Her older sister would brush her fingers through her silky hair, press their faces close together and hum words of encouragement through the light innocence of a child’s voice speaking a mother’s words. This feels no different; her tears, although they are few from what she can feel, soak through the shoulder of Angelica’s soft purple work blouse. The material is butter in Eliza’s hands, where she keeps them wrapped tight around her sister’s waist. She longs for the darkened silence of her childhood bedroom, where Angelica had been able to keep her safe from everything with just her words. And then, her weakness snaps with the resistance of a rubber band. Heat encompasses the muscles that had relaxed and numbed with sadness. She pushes herself from Angelica’s embrace, her eyes engulfed with the clouds of a storm.

“Why am I the last person you told?”

“Betsy,”

“No, really. Why? Because it’s not like I’m the last place you’ve visited in a day. You got accepted last month. You’ve been hiding this from me for that long. And not everyone, just me.”

“Eliza, you know it’s harder with you. You’re…it’s different. I can’t just up and leave you, I’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

“Why, because I’m fragile? Because I’m broken? I’m not a child anymore, Angelica. I’m doing perfectly fine, and you would know that if you spent more time talking to me than at me. I’m not just some project you can throw yourself into because you’re looking for someone to fix. I’m fine, and I’m tired of being treated like I’m not.”

Angelica, wounded from the verbal bullets her red-eyed sister had aimed her way, takes a step back. She gathers her coat, laces her boots, and stands by the door without a single word. She shakes her head, multiple times, as if the motion is settling the jumbled mass of thoughts and emotions that have clouded her usual judgement. The calm, collected state is gone from her mind, replaced with a form of despair as she looks upon her sister’s cracked frame, which is held together by arms that hug herself tight.

“I’ll call you later.” Angelica’s voice is soft, cracking as she closes the apartment door behind her. And when she does call, over and over, Eliza does not answer.

…

“Breakthroughs don’t just happen with the bare minimum of work. If you choose to ignore this, the loneliness? It’ll only get worse.”

…

Monday brings a missed class, Wednesday a canceled date night. By the time Friday rolls around, Eliza claims sickness and burrows herself in a pile of blankets and tea. She attempts to read, but the words on the page dance and rearrange themselves into situations she remembers only in the faint hours of the night, when there is nothing else to distract her. She watches reality television that holds none of her interest, watching beautifully made-up girls try on wedding dresses and fight with their bridal parties over the pros and cons. First there is a low, one that picks at her brain and forces her to place her head upon these bodies, imagine herself in such a state of bliss. But each time she gets close enough to feeling the light that would allow, it disappears.

The effects of her current state of emotion are instantaneous, and frightening. Eliza lingers in a limbo between them all with no control, begging her brain for release from the heinous behavior she no longer has the will to contain. She will not answer Angelica’s phone calls. She considers skipping brunch. The thought of socialization hangs heavily, exhaustingly over her head. And when she attempts to write in her white journal, it only intensifies.

She begins with something simple; his name. She writes it over and over, until her hand has memorized the pattern she had known so well. She presses hard with her pen, then soft. She uses writing delicate as spring, with curly letters and hearts, and next to it places the stark contrast of capital letters and roughly pressed ink. She researches, looks up the origin of his name and laughs when it tells her the meaning ‘to overthrow.’ She’s sure the truth is just a coincidence, that the action of taking over her mind isn’t caused by some stupid website on the internet with little historical citation. Her mind must be playing tricks to consider the fact that this one word is exactly what is happening. But then, Reynolds; a powerful ruler.

She gives up on her little white journal.

She shuts herself further into her burrow.

It is a reluctant Sunday brunch, one which she barely remembers through the closed pieces of her mind and the pushing of her fork over another beautifully done vegetarian dish. Her father prods her, reminds her of the chef’s kindness in remembering her dietary choices after all of these years. It is Peggy who drowns the potatoes and tofu in Sriracha and blocks her nose, playfully mocks her sister’s choice over steak and chicken. Eliza holds herself well enough to bring some of the shining light into the photographs they’re asked to take.

She falls asleep almost instantly when she gets back to her apartment.

There isn’t enough time in the day to sleep anymore, not when her dreams are restless, filled with dark hands that press themselves too tight, suffocate her until she wakes in choking agony.

…

“It is not your fault. You did not choose for this to happen.”

On Monday, after a full week and a half without seeing Eliza, Alexander picks at the spare key dangling from his keyring. He holds it during class, lets it make indents in his palm until he is sure they will be permanent. Her name rings through his mind for the entirety of the day, until he feels a strong and bubbling nausea rise to his throat.

He excuses himself from his class half an hour early. He makes it to her apartment in record time.

She isn’t anywhere to be found, and at first he is thankful; maybe she’s in class, or with Angelica. Maybe she’d decided to take the unseasonably warm day to roam the city instead. But the slight differences within his once home are evident, calling him to search further than the kitchen. There are dishes in the sink, a dishwasher full of dirty ones that hadn’t been run yet. There aren’t any blankets on the couch, but a line of teacups take over the coffee table. The floor crunches with a layer of salty outdoor debris, its origin made clear by the shoes that litter every corner except the empty basket they are supposed to be in. Every blanket in the apartment; the one that used to be on the couch, and the armchair, and even one of his own fleece touristy blanket-they’re all discarded on her bed, crafted into a cocoon worn and wrinkled with use. Laundry litters the floor there, too, as if everything she had said to him about discarding his clothes in the bathroom had been a joke.

The bathroom-when he approaches the door, there is a light shining through its narrow crack. There is no sound; not from the outside, and not after his entrance is announced with the creak of its hinges. He notices her instantly, the way she sits in the middle of the tiled flooring. She is surrounded by papers, papers covered in blacks and blues that have transferred to her arm. From the tips of her fingers to her elbow she is covered in paint, the substance drying and caking itself, consuming. Her head is bent, legs spread as her body stretches over another recently blank canvas. She paints this one a brilliantly crafted grayscale, one that begins with a single speck of white in the center. From there it is a spiral, a blend of darkness that leads to complete black, darker than night and lining the canvas. It traps the brilliance of the white inside of its spiral, keeps it prisoner within itself. Eliza’s brush moves with delicate, shaking strokes as she perfects the lines , concentrates and hides behind the thin veil of the unruly waves of her hair.

He is silent. For a moment, he watches her focus, although he is sure by the slow and unnatural rhythm of her breathing that her focus is drawn to something other than acrylic paints and the storm cloud of paints that decorate her arms. Her silence is broken by a minute sound, a sniff that barely reaches the motion of her body. It is enough; enough to bring him next to her on the floor, the bitter cold of the tile seeping through his jeans. Alexander’s voice is just above a whisper when he holds his hand out, asks if he can use the warmth of his touch to break through the numb, unresponsive state she had holed herself up in.

When his warmth reaches her back, when his hand rubs small circles and his voice takes the place of the stagnant silence she had been living in for a week, her head falls to the floor. His heart, which had all but stopped upon seeing her so still and silent, cracks and throbs as Eliza’s body shakes. She presses one hand to the floor, hitting the brilliance of her painting without noticing, and uses the last ounce of her strength to pull herself into his lap. One cheek presses into his jeans, which are just beginning to lose the chill of the outside air. He uses both hands to support her now, one on her back and the other in her hair, on her waist. He presses her as close to him as he can, feels the feeble weight of her body lose the last ounce of its strength.

He does not say anything.

He doesn’t have to.

For that singular moment, Eliza presses play on her life.

Alexander transfers her to her bed, presses a kiss to her forehead and promises to return. He cleans the teacups, washes the dishes and starts the dishwasher. He folds the laundry stuck stagnant in the dryer. He cleans the paintbrushes in the sink, watches the water go from clear to murky black and back again. By the time is done, and he pulls the covers back from her bed, Eliza is asleep in the deconstructed cocoon. Alexander lays beside her, and draws her closer.

Eliza, for the first time in a week and a half, sleeps through the night.

“Breakthroughs don’t happen in a night. They take patience, time…they take a hell of a lot of work. But if that work is put in, if pain is felt for just a moment, your life could change.

Take this journal; I need you to remember, Eliza. I need you to feel.”

#mine: swts #swts #character: Eliza Schuyler #hamliza #hamilton #hamilton au

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diamondsaregold · 8 years ago

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Zig x MC - A Playlist

Background Info: In the spirit of slowly returning to sharing things with the world, I thought I’d post the playlist that I’ve spent approximately one month procrastinating on diligently working on.

Started as a 30 song playlist, and cut down to 8 tracks. All the highs and lows of our entire The Freshman Book 3 relationship with Zig, with lots of angst and introspection. Some songs pertain to Zig x MC; others to each individual character.

Photos taken from Pexels, and edited by me in Photoshop. Hope you enjoy listening! 💕 Click on each song title for the link. I highly recommend listening to each song while looking at the visuals, lyrics, and analysis. 😉

1) “Heart Out” The 1975 An upbeat, atmospheric alt rock anthem to teenage love, personal issues, and monotony.

And once we started having friends round You created a television of your mouth ----- You got something to say Why don’t you speak it aloud, instead of living in your head? It’s always the same Why don’t you take your heart out, instead of living in your head? ----- It’s just you and I tonight Why don’t you figure your heart out?

We are reeling from suitemate drama and uncertainty when we stumble upon the enigmatic barista at the Hartfeld coffee shop. He shoots us knowing smirks, flirtatious remarks, and oh, it is working. The curve of his half smile, the curl of his deep hair, the heat of his toffee-warm skin washes over us. Risk is nothing when there’s endless possibilities in his gaze.

The start of the quarter is the perfect time to step away from the televisions (or books) inside our minds and take risks, to ground ourselves in new realities. Zig is something new, and very real.

2) “Smoke Filled Room” Mako A tropical, uplifting EDM track about the unstoppable girl who walks into chaos with her chin held high.

Isn’t it a little late? Shouldn’t you fly away? ----- Take a step around the room And every head keeps turning too Little dove, you fight ‘em back Show ‘em you’re so much more than that ----- Walk into a smoke filled room. Oh no one could keep their eyes off you. Have a little drink or two Oh how could you be that girl I knew?

Soaring vocals brim with adrenaline, courage, and tenderness. That night, we head out into a strange world of dusky romances and dangerous people. Yet somehow, we always prove our past selves wrong.

Fragile. We walk into the Gutter Kitten’s crowded show only to be met with icy stares (and ice queens). We stand our ground, telling off the rude band members and turning up the charm to an 11 with our coffeeshop cutie. We fight ‘em all back.

Magnetic. In our “little black dress” at Madison’s birthday party, Zig is transfixed. He craves complexity, the satisfaction of stripping apart a problem layer by layer. Our fire, our loyalty, our three dimensionality captivates this lover of permutations, logic. In the smoky magic of our late night bar escapade, he takes us apart. Slowly. Tenderly.

3) “Livewire” Oh Wonder A poignant, sparse piano and beat-driven ballad, contemplating two individuals who have become intertwined.

Counting my losses as I let them go. Heavy the water as I sink below. ----- I’ve been pretending all my shots are blown. Cover my heart up, never let it show. I’m shaking it off to find a higher low. ----- So hold me when I fall away from the lines. When I’m losing it all, when I’m wasting the light. And hold me when I put my heart in your hands. ----- Oh, won’t you be my livewire? Make me feel like I’m set on fire.

Covering up hearts, igniting fires, and letting walls down: how fitting that the themes here tie in with those of the other songs. As the relentless yearning to explore one another in dimly lit rooms and memorize each other’s complexities simmers down, our relationship spins into something deeper.

Grazing touches and gentle murmurs become even more fleeting, soft. When we hold each other tightly, slight frame on top of strong, sturdy, in the backseat of his old car, we realize that somehow within the span of weeks, we’ve become inseparable.

His confessions topple our own walls. As the night goes on, we mold ourselves into each other. Our dependence on one another is intoxicating.

4) “Breaking the Habit” Linkin Park A hypnotic, downtempo rock song that depicts the gritty reality of addiction, dangerous habits, and resentment.

Memories consume Like opening the wound I’m picking me apart again ----- Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again ----- I’ll paint it on the walls Cause I’m the one at fault ----- I don’t know what’s worth fighting for So, I’m breaking the habit tonight

Things begin to spin out of control. One moment, he’s brittle, too quick to snap, to accuse others of false play, to push them away. In a split second, he’s soft again, murmuring gentle reassurances and apologies. We cannot understand his volatility. Fresh from the burn of an unfair, one-sided fight, we crack under the pressure. Everything gushes out.

The last thing we see is his back, taut with hard-earned, unwanted strength, tense with years of the strain of helplessness as his loved ones are damaged permanently. He has been cornered for so much of his life that running is a luxury. For him, the anger gnaws and carves away at his insides. All his adrenaline, his sadness, his quick temper feeds the addictive kick. He knows no existence without it. For us, everything dries up. What hurts more, his leaving, or the ease, the relief, with which he leaves? We sink into the deep, because we don’t know if he’ll be coming back. If he even wants to.

What we don’t know if that he’s the one tearing himself apart again.

5) “Nothing” The Script A stricken, pop rock ballad lamenting a damaged relationship and one man’s anguish.

Oh, sometimes love’s intoxicating. Oh, you’re coming down, your hands are shaking. When you realize there’s no one waiting. ----- Cause I’m shouting your name all over town. I’m swearing if I go there now. I could change her mind turn it all around. ----- So I, dialed her number and confessed to her I’m still in love, but all I heard Was nothing. ----- I wanted words, but all I heard was nothing.

We did not get the chance to see Zig’s perspective after MC leaves for California. For me, this song fills in the blank spaces. I wonder what emotions must have been running through his mind. Resentment? Regret? I imagine him playing the fight over and over again, and beating himself up for lashing out.

We know that whatever he felt, it was strong enough to compel him to dial MC’s number--and, to be completely crushed when she ignored his call. It was the final straw: the confirmation that MC did not care about him. Her silence hurt infinitely more than a punch in the face. And so, the walls go up. He hunkers himself down behind defensiveness once again.

But to finally find someone who loved him for who he was, and to lose her in an instant, stings. He knows that things could have gone differently.

6) “Poison” luhx. A stirring, indie and electronica track about apprehension, toxic relationships and choices, and the road to self-forgiveness.

I’ve been on either side of letting someone down and I don’t know which one is worse ----- Your toxin takes its time to settle in When you said how much my skin reminded of home Time seemed to numb my sins ----- I laid down all my walls so you could lay here next to me I know now... ----- Too much of anything is poison And it’s laced upon your lips But the cure is in the venom, so I keep on coming back My soul is stained with your poison

Admittedly, this toxic relationship is a bit too dark for our reunion. Yet, there is something promising about the song’s raw honesty. It speaks of newfound wisdom, awareness, all qualities that make for a future of healing. “Poison” then captures Zig’s relationship with his past, his demons, and his journey to self acceptance.

Anger was Zig’s poison. It gave him what justification he needed to hate the world that dealt him this hand, to fight back against bullies, to have tasted and now expect rejection, and to avoid disappointment by putting up barriers around all of his relationships. In time, his numbness to his own aspirations became part of him.

Too much anger, however, and everything crashed. Inside, all he wanted was to be free. To believe in himself and his dreams once again. When he first met us in the coffee shop, he caught a glimpse of that brimming courage he once had, many years ago.

He fears that he is broken beyond repair. Perhaps this anger is now laced within his veins, toxic vines twisting around his heart, skin stained with bitter rejection.

There is beauty in his fear and newfound awareness. We are hopeful.

7) “Love Somebody” Ta-Ku ft. Wafia An evocative, soulful indie-edm ballad and duet whose lyrics speak of a relationship on the mend.

Darling understand, my faith wavers when I can’t see the end And I know you truly believe that our love will keep us from the edge ----- I know we’ll never get it right We only ever seem to fight Anyone else would walk away When you love somebody then you stay

The end-of-the-quarter dance dazzles with the promise of new beginnings. To our joy, Zig is about to embark on his college journey! And, amid blushing and stammering confessions, he’ll do so with us--his favorite girl--by his side.

Under the blossoms of the fairy light-strung cherry trees, we twirl about on the dance floor, hearts light and gazes warm. He can’t stop staring at us, but this time, he knows that we’re his. And he, ours.

The future can come with all that it brings. As his hands make their home on our waist, we are content to press our face into his broad shoulder and just breathe. His hope is sweet as the air.

8) “Arrest Me” Shy Girls ft. Tei Shi A sultry, electronica ode to the battle for dominance and waves of pleasure.

You got me tripping on my walk like I’m a novice. Something about you on the top, if I’m honest Running in circles around me, cuz you know I love it ----- I’m gonna let you tie me up tonight And you can read my rights, if that’s alright I’ll loosen up your ropes and let you bite I wanna feel your touch ----- Arrest me

Surrendering and asserting have never tasted so perfectly together. Zig makes us crave something deeper, and we can’t control the hitch of our breath when he crumbles under our touch. How is it that we render him speechless anywhere we end up? There is heat everywhere. His gaze smolders, sends one quake after another shuddering through our pinned frame.

After, we lay together, nestled together among the bedsheets, his arm still draped over us. His hands feel rough, but his caresses gentle. As much as we love the storm, we relish the calm. The steady rising of his chest, his soft snore, almost childlike, as we drift away.

Whenever I make playlists for characters or stories, I always try to base the songs off of the feeling, rather than the actual lyrics. “Smoke Filled Room” and “Poison” felt the most ‘Zig’ to me; “Heart Out” the least. Regardless, I hope you liked my rambling musics and sound bites! Now back to my exam preparation... 😭

#zig #zig x mc #playlist #playchoices #choices playlist #the freshman #the freshman book 3 #choices #zigzaggers fan club #my playlists #music

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alahmnat · 7 years ago

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D’ni timeline extrapolation

For a long time now, the Archive has had a number of specific dates in its timeline of D'ni history that aren't taken directly from an official source. Instead, they were taken from an old timeline originally constructed by Mark Jurries, proprietor of the long-defunct D'ni Archives website. Recently, I decided to review these calculated dates (as well as a number of other ones) to make sure they were accurate, and determine how Mark arrived at them in the first place, so that they could be properly cited and sourced on the Archive. (Specifically, this document exists to serve as that source.)

Primary anchor date: The Fall of D'ni

D'ni fell on Leesahn 8, 9400 DE. This is essentially the only officially-known date from this period in D'ni history, so every other nearby date on the timeline has to be extrapolated from it. Fortunately, the Book of Ti'ana mentions enough absolute time spans and hard numbers in relation to this event to make what I believe are some reasonably accurate estimates.

To start, there are several dates that can be calculated based on Gehn's age when D'ni fell. He was 8 at the time, having been inducted into the Guild of Books at the age of 4. Based on this, we can estimate that Gehn was born in 9392 DE, and inducted into the guild system in 9396 DE.

At this point, things start to jump around a bit. During the trip that Ti'ana, Aitrus, and Gehn took to the Lodge just before Gehn's induction, Ti'ana mentions that her mother died 35 years ago. This places her mother's death in 9361 DE. Earlier in the story, during a conversation with her father shortly before venturing into D'ni for the first time, the book notes that the accident that killed her mother was 6 years ago. Given this information, we can determine when she found D'ni: 9367 DE. The book also notes that she was 18 at that point, meaning she was born in 9349 DE.

When Ti'ana found D'ni, Aitrus was 55, meaning he was born in 9312 DE. He became a Guild Master at 38 (9350 DE), and was elected to the council 3 years later (9353 DE). Knowing when Aitrus was born also allows us to date the construction of the Great Shaft. Just before the Guild Council approved its construction, Guild Master Telanis revealed in a conversation with Master Kedri that Aitrus was 25. This means that the Great Shaft was built (or at least started) in 9337 DE.

(Note: Mark's D'ni Archives site put seven years between the death of Ti'ana's mother and her discovery of D'ni, placing it in 9368 DE and causing all of the dependent dates to be off by one. I think this is the result of a mis-reading of the text in that portion of the story, where a year's worth of surveys are mentioned in an aside. These surveys were not performed contemporaneously, but rather before Ti'ana's father discovered the stone ring formed by the soundings for the Great Shaft.)

From here, the remaining pre-Fall dates get a bit fuzzier. Ti'ana went to live with Aitrus's family roughly 5 or 6 months after she entered D'ni and was arrested by the Guild of Maintainers. Several months after that, Veovis found out that Aitrus had taken Ti'ana to his family's Age of Ko'ah. Ko'ah was confiscated, and Aitrus resigned from the Guild Council. While the controversy was settled in Aitrus's favor within a couple of weeks, he refused to re-join the Council for several years after that. These events took place somewhere between 9367 DE and 9368 DE, but there is no way to reliably date each them with any further accuracy.

According to the Book of Ti'ana, Aitrus re-joined the Council 15 years before Gehn was born, which means he did so in 9377 DE. This is the first occasion where the Archive's existing timeline is more than a single year out of step with these new calculations. Due to an error on my part in reading the text of the novel, I thought Aitrus and Ti'ana had married 15 years before Gehn's birth. However, they were actually married "[a] few years" after Aitrus returned to the Council, and that is the date from which Gehn's birth is measured. Thus, Aitrus and Ti'ana were married some time after 9377 DE, but the novel is not specific enough to determine a firm date.

As a matter of interest, there is a possible chronological contradiction in the Book of Atrus with regards to A'gaeris's expulsion from the guild system. The novel notes on several occasions that this took place 50 years before Gehn's birth, which would place his expulsion in 9342 DE. However, the novel also notes that when A'gaeris was expelled, Veovis still a cadet in the Guild of Writers. This is difficult to square with the rest of the chronology. By 9342, the Great Shaft had been finished for 5 years. Veovis and Aitrus were of a similar age, and Aitrus was no longer merely a cadet by then—he was only a few years from becoming a Master at that point. It's possible that this works out on a technicality, but it's equally possible that "fifty years" is David Wingrove's go-to "long period of time" value. Ultimately, I'm just not confident enough in the text to assert the 9342 date as definitive.

Beyond the Fall

Moving forward in time from the Fall, the first solid date we can extrapolate is when Gehn first left the Cleft. When he returns to collect Atrus from Ti'ana at the age of 14, he notes that he was the same age when he first left. This means that he did so in 9406 DE, and returned for Atrus in 9429 DE. The Book of Atrus also notes that Gehn was 19 when Atrus was born, putting his birth in 9411 DE.

According to information from the no-longer-available official Myst IV: Revelation website, Achenar was 50 when the events of Revelation took place, and Sirrus was 47. Since we know that those events took place in 9480 DE, this means that Achenar was born in 9430 DE (before, it should be noted, Atrus and Catherine got married). RAWA has also noted that Sirrus is roughly 2 years younger than his brother, meaning he was probably born after Achenar's birthday in 9432 DE, and that Revelation took place between Achenar's 50th and Sirrus's 48th birthdays. Using this and Catherine's personal journal in Revelation, it's possible to determine roughly when Ti'ana died. Sirrus was reportedly 8 at the time, meaning her death occurred around 9440 DE.

After Riven

Myst and Riven both take place within the same year: 9462 DE. The exact dates are recorded in Atrus's personal journal, which he gives to the Stranger in Riven's opening cutscene.

Based on calculations from time spans supplied in the Book of D'ni and the definitively dated point at which Atrus began documenting his efforts to write Releeshahn, I believe that he wrote Averone in 9463 DE, and finally broke out of his prison on K'veer in 9467 DE. The rest of the Book of D'ni takes place in the remaining portion of that year and the first few months of 9468 DE, with the end of Section 7 coming just days before he wrote the first entry in his personal journal from Myst III: Exile.

The epilogue of the Book of D'ni also states that Catherine spent a year in Terahnee researching their ancient prophecies, and that she started working on that project at about the same time that Atrus started writing Releeshahn. Working on the (probably quite reasonable) assumption that the last entry in his Exile personal journal is from the day before he began the actual writing process, he spent all of 9469 DE working on Releeshahn, and finished it some time in 9470 DE. According to RAWA, Yeesha was born in 1815 CE; assuming she was born after April 21st of that year, this puts her birth in 9471 on the D'ni calendar. Given that Exile is commonly described as taking place 10 years after Riven, and that Yeesha appears to be less than a year old at that time (but still old enough to hold her own head up), it seems likely that she was born in the later part of 9471, while Exile takes place in early 9472 DE.

Revelation is often thought to take place 20 years after Riven, but it's actually closer to 18; all of the journals from the game place the events in 9480 DE. This brings up an important discrepancy, though: Sirrus mentions in a journal entry dated 9475.8.3 that it had been fifteen years since he burned the Books in Atrus's library on Myst. However, this would put that event in 9460 DE, roughly a year before the boys send their mother to Riven in 9461. It seems unlikely that Sirrus would have been able to set fire to the library before they did this, because Catherine rarely traveled to other Ages at that point, and you would think she'd notice something like one of her sons burning an entire bookshelf full of Descriptive Books. For this reason, I'm inclined to treat Sirrus's "fifteen years" remark as an offhandedly round number, not an absolutely precise one.

#myst #uru #d'ni #guild of archivists #essays

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dredshirtroberts · 8 years ago

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So...things that happen in spring:

Weather - all of it at once.

Birthdays - all of them within spans of approximately 2 weeks between.

The changing weather this week has made me sore and achey all over. I don’t feel like moving, all my problem joints are acting up more than usual and my normal non-problematic joints are uncomfortable and stiff. But the world does not stop just because it’s 30°F one day and 70°F the next.

I wish it did tho.

They’re calling for snow this weekend. Cautiously optimistic about it, but definitely not holding my breath.

fuckin’ global warming man.

And birthdays. My mother just had hers on Monday. We had a family dinner on Sunday to celebrate. Next week is boyfriend’s birthday. Mine’s in three and a half weeks.

I turn 25.

You know what I want for my birthday? I want to celebrate with people who will value my contributions to the conversation and won’t talk over me when I speak. I want to celebrate with people who value my existence in this world as more than a status symbol and who appreciate my talents and worth. I want to be with people who acknowledge how fucking GORGEOUS I am, and smart and clever, and amazing I really fucking am.

Most of the people who fit these requirements live far away and/or are very busy this time of year. None of them are my family.

So I guess it’s just gonna be me and the boyfriend - which is fine. I just also kind of...

I’ve been starting a depression spiral and I am fighting ever so desperately to keep myself above the black abyss of self-deprecation and hate. It would be nice to be with people who don’t drag me down and make me feel worse.

Boyfriend has been amazing every time this sort of thing happens. I know why it happens - it’s because I hung out with my family and they...they do not appreciate how fucking amazing I am. Even when they try, it’s limited by the fact that they are utterly self-centered and more focused on how my amazingness reflects their “efforts” in raising me.

Oh and my parents praise the fact that they did neglect my sister and I. They don’t call it neglect but that’s what they did.

We have STORIES we share around the dinner table about my sister and I LITERALLY LEAVING THE HOUSE WHILE WE WERE STILL IN DIAPERS because no one was paying attention to us. I once went out in the snow in nothing but a diaper with a blanket. I have a very vivid memory of attempting to run away from home at age 3 or 4 with just my plastic Barbie backpack - my downfall was that I couldn’t tie my shoes on my own.

There are multiple stories about this.

My parents are completely alcoholic. They function well enough but they’re alcoholics. My mother went through almost an entire bottle of wine by herself during the 3-ish hours I was over at their house for dinner. My father made it through nearly an entire six pack - again, by himself - in the same amount of time. I then went to Sam’s Club with my father on Tuesday and he bought 7 bottles of wine that I know will be gone by the end of this weekend if not sooner. He laughed about the fact that they might last two days with my mother in the house.

He giggled as he put them in the cart, like he was just buying something normal like extra chips or some cookies or something. A treat, but one you’re “not supposed to have because society says DIE-BEETUS or something”. (not to discount anyone with diabetes. It was a bad example and I wish I had a better one but I do not and I am sorry).

But it’s 7 bottles of wine they don’t need because mom already had 2 bottles from dad, and I bought her one for her birthday (because, fuck it, it was easy and I didn’t have to put any real thought into it and it was relatively impersonal. also less than $7 and she was pleased with it). That’s 10 bottles of wine. Minus the 1 she was nearly done with by the time I left on Sunday. 9. Minus one for every day in the week so far. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and we’ll count todays too, because it’s Friday. that’s 5 more. She has 4 bottles left.

We’ll assume because it’s Friday they’ll “treat themselves” to extra. Add another bottle to Friday for 3 left out of the nine they had by Tuesday. Tomorrow will be at least one more bottle of wine. Maybe 1.5 because they have church on Sunday. which leaves 1.5 left for Sunday dinner and to pregame for Monday. This is also assuming they haven’t bought anymore since Tuesday, or drank more one night than I’ve accounted for here.

Not to mention the beers, or if they went out anywhere for dinner or with friends.

This is how it’s been for my entire life. I learned how to open a bottle of wine and pour it when I was 12. I learned how to pour a perfect beer (not too much head on it now, tip the glass and pour down the side, make sure the glass is frosty from the freezer that’s a girl) at roughly the same time. My life goal at 16 was to be a bartender and own my own pub because it would make my parents proud and I thought drinking that much every night was *normal*.

A note for the bottles of wine now that I think about it - these are standard bottles, not the giant ones you can get. Though, to be fair my mother can, will, and has put away a whole giant bottle plus half another in one night before. And I’m not talking an all day drink-a-thon (though they do that too). I’m specifically talking about the hours between 6 and 10. Four hours. 5 servings of wine (at least).

And that’s the easy one to calculate. If they have beer? Forget it. Who knows how many they’ve had until the next day when they line up all their conquests into a nifty little beer-amid they then instagram to their facebook because hee hee look at how much we had last night - and every night!

And god forbid if I start talking about myself or anything I’m interested in. If I want to share it has to be easily adaptable to something my sister can talk about herself with, or something my parents agree with/also like. Because if not, forget it. I would be better off not even there.

And I’m MAD about this. I am so upset about the fact that this happens every time I’m with my family. EVERY TIME.

I’m so angry. I’m so frustrated. And I know it’s because I want them to be better. I want them to be that family I thought I had growing up that I realize now was just my brain trying to protect me from the fact that no one loved me while I grew up. No one gave a shit about me. I didn’t have anyone give a proper shit about me until 2014. Maybe not even 2015.

That fucking sucks, you know?

My therapist said to make sure I engage in the emotions I feel and let myself feel them. It hurts but in order to move forward you have to let yourself be in the moment with those feelings.

So here I am, at work - thankfully alone, pissed the hell off and heartbroken that this is my fucking life. this is the family I was given to. They didn’t even WANT me. I was an accident.

It’s not okay. But I will be okay. I have a support system and friends who love the shit out of me. People I would gladly take a bullet for, or punch a nazi (though frankly I’d do that anyway) for, or support in any way I possibly can. Because they have my back, and I am incredibly grateful for them.

I also have a boyfriend who loves me, who cares for my wellbeing and who understands that I am still healing because I have wounds I don’t even know about. Or at least consciously acknowledge.

I’m broken on the inside but they sell duct tape in fun colors and patterns now so I can mend myself with my own style. And I’ll be loved while I do it and I will love with my entire being - broken pieces and all - just to spite them

Because I have to.

Because I need to heal.

#life post #this was a lot more than i thought it was going to be #then again i haven't met with my therapist in two weeks #so while that part was progress it's also #i need to start making time to express all these thigns #once a week at least #so that i can keep it from building up and making things worse #it'll be a fancy bath night tonight - boyfriend suggested it last night #and i really fucking need it

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maritzaerwin · 4 years ago

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9 Productivity Hacks for Software Developers

Did you know that on average, a developer gets to have only two hours of completely productive sessions in a day?

The life of a programmer is often testing. No pun intended.

Television series and movies have sort of painted a totally different picture of coders with them being wired most of the time, doing coding marathons for straight 48 or 36 hours, living off caffeine or sodas, and more.

Though such people do exist the programmers you and I would meet, on an everyday basis, are nothing like them. They are like us. They have their best days and they have their average days as well.

Like any other job, not every day is the same for a developer. While the routine is obviously the same, challenges vary in intensities each day. So, a developer is always expected to be in their best at any given point of time.

But the reality that we all should acknowledge is that it is not completely possible. No matter what you do, there are days you would feel a little low, a little bored, frustrated, or even dejected for no reason.

This is the reason why developer productivity matters today more than coding skills. You could be an average coder but if you manage to churn out more lines of code every single day, the chances of you becoming irreplaceable are more.

So, how do you improve the productivity of your developers?

If you’re a project manager, a team lead, or a fellow coder, you might want to improve the productivity of you or your team. But before understanding how to improve developer productivity, we should realize what productivity means in the first place.

What Is Productivity?

Productivity is a very subjective concept and takes various shapes and forms for each individual. If you ask me, not leaving any assigned task pending is my metric for a productive day. For someone else, it could be simply cracking an idea. For a writer, a productive day could be penning 2000 words in a day.

For a developer, it is often the number of lines of codes written and their quality. The essence of it is balance. Too many lines with too many mistakes stall the project. Too little lines but good quality delays the project.

So, a productive developer is one who manages to meet the required number of lines in a day without having to revisit the codes for errors and debugging.

Productive developers are in-demand today because of the impact they create in a project, their focus, dependability, and more. They are also well-paid and tend to have better job security than their less productive counterparts.

Now that we’ve understood what developer productivity is, let’s look at some effective ways to improve it.

10 Effective Ways to Improve Your Productivity As A Developer

1. Work for Fewer Hours

Improving developer productivity by working for fewer hours sounds oxymoronic, right? But trust me, this is game-changing. When you visualize 8 hours a day for your work, you involuntarily tend to plan your tasks for the entire day.

Even tasks that could be completed in a span of five hours are extended for 8 hours. On a lighter day, you tend to spend more time on breaks, surfing, or doing other things. The scope of distraction is more in this case.

But when you assign fewer hours to yourself to complete work, you become laser-focused. You tend to believe that all other distractions, texts, notifications, and even small breaks can wait until you complete your task.

Besides, when the assigned hours are less, you also come up with smarter approaches or solutions to problems. You figure out new hacks to complete tasks and eventually end up doing more than you would otherwise.

Also, starting your day on a good and planned note will also get you to become more productive. These 10 productivity hacks to kickstart your day should be useful to you.

2. Fewer Distractions

One of the primary enemies of a developer is a distraction. Distraction in the form of social media notifications, calls, texts, video suggestions, colleagues, and more. Sometimes, even meetings with pointless agendas and birthday celebrations could also be distractions.

While some distractions are beyond our control, there are a few that we could moderate and reduce. Digital distractions are increasing relatively, causing a decrease in our attention spans. As you start to write a line of code, you would get a call you have to take, a notification that you need to see, a text you need to reply, and more.

These distractions are costing you, your project, and ultimately your company. For those of you who didn’t know, it takes a developer up to 15 minutes to get back to work after a single instance of distraction.

However, the good news is that such distractions can be avoided. There are ample tools available online that allow you to focus on your work more than anything else. For instance, a tool like Freedom does a tremendous job of blocking all websites that cause a distraction to a developer. It offers features like Lock mode that doesn’t allow you to unblock digital aspects that consume your time until you complete your work.

3. Scrum Methodology

An increasingly implemented concept in companies (especially IT) today, scrum is proving to be effective for teams in optimizing code quality, time management, inter-departmental coordination, and more.

For those of you who are unaware, scrum methodology is where the process of developing a product is broken down into fragments of modules. These modules have assigned deadlines called milestones.

Instead of building a product as one single entity or project, teams simultaneously work on building modules that lead to a faster development process. To ensure the deadlines are met and that the process is efficient, scrum masters tend to hold meetings or sprints every week or alternate week.

This is generally the duration within which the milestone needs to be met. Each sprint is followed by product demos or status updates, concerns, and limitations and planning for the next sprint.

To become more productive, we recommend implementing this in your work schedule. You could also speak to your managers about this and have this incorporated in your team. This would help all developers in your business stay productive.

4. Have a Pet Project

Apart from your professional or office work, always have a pet project to work on. This could be something very simple, complicated, or close to your heart. The reason here is to use that as a medium to learn new skills and techniques.

The project that you have to work on in your workplace offers you limited scope for being creative or exploring unconventional methods to accomplish tasks. They are bound by people and processes. But when you have something like a pet project, you get exposed to new information, ways, techniques, tools, and avenues to explore and get familiar with.

These will offer you eye-opening insights that might ultimately help you become better at work as well. Plus, it is always refreshing to work on something else that is not office work.

Let’s be honest here!

5. The Power of Automation

A lot of experts are seeing automation as something sort of an agent of doomsday. Unnecessary buzz is created around the scenario that automation would result in job losses and that machines would eventually take over the world.

This is futuristic and is not something on the cards for right now. Automation could be a developer’s best friend if one knows how to leverage the full potential of it.

If you’re a coder who has to repeat a set of redundant tasks every day that is time-consuming or have fragments that tend to get repeated, you could bring in automation and let the machine write the lines. Tasks such as compiling code after minute changes or migrating data into databases after small modifications can be automated.

This is a developer productivity hack you can implement to get more things done in your limited time.

6. Implement Gamification

This is a relatively new concept being increasingly implemented in corporations and companies. This is usually brought in to build team players, productivity, and quality among colleagues. But as an individual, you can implement a very basic aspect of gamification.

What you have to do is assign a reward for yourself to motivate yourself to complete a task. This works best when you have a lighter day or have redundant tasks to perform which makes you think you could procrastinate.

But instead of delaying your task, implement gamification by choosing to complete it and going for a reward post-completion. For instance, your goal could be to sit for two hours straight and code and get a cheesecake after lunch as a reward.

It could also be staying away from your phone until lunch or writing error-free codes. Your challenge and reward could be anything that makes your otherwise redundant work more interesting.

7. Get More Familiar with Your Tool

They say when you are assigned the task of chopping down a tree in two hours, you should be spending 90 minutes sharpening your ax. You should know your tool or weapon in and out so you know the best ways to work on it.

Being a coder, you should have a complete grasp of your tool and be aware of all techniques that come with it. Know libraries associated with your programming language and make use of it whenever appropriate. Don’t stretch too much on things you have a relatively alternate solution to.

The more you become familiar with your tool, the better you will know of the different ways to complete one single task.

8. Get Good Sleep

A coder can never be productive if they haven’t had a good night’s sleep. Irregular sleep or inadequate sleep can bring in a lot of consequences in your everyday life. You would be grumpy throughout the day, you would get zoned out too often, you would become more sleepy post-lunch, your lines would go haywire and you would feel irritated overall.

The best way to avoid these is by getting good sleep. Make it a point to get to bed early and wake up early. Reduce screen time at night and keep binge-watching sessions and social media sessions for your weekends. They tend to deprive you of good sleep and bring in unnecessary anxiety.

Sleep in a dark room and have a good shower before going to bed. Minor changes in your lifestyle can help you improve the holistic well-being of your mind and body.

You should also check out these 5 sleep tips to make your days better.

9. Be Clear on Your Project

Sometimes, the frustration or dullness programmers face don’t stem out of lack of interests or personal hindrances but lack of clear project vision and goals. A poorly communicated project specification puts everyone in trouble, especially developers.

When your understanding of your project and its outcomes are unclear, you wouldn’t know what strategy to implement, the right tools to use, and more. As thoughts like these pile-up, they involuntarily tend to make you delay things and feel frustrated.

This is not good for your project and yourself. So, when you are assigned a new project, make sure you have a complete understanding of it from all aspects. Even questions that might seem dumb can be clarified as it only translates to better output.

When you start off on a good note and with a vision of how to go about accomplishing your task, the interest in doing your job will sustain for a longer time as well. You would also feel more enthusiastic about laying hands on your keyboard.

Wrapping Up

Like we mentioned before, the life of a developer can be chaotic. But small hacks and changes can make a lot of difference. These are tried and tested developer productivity boosters that have worked for me, my team, and followers.

All you need to do is follow them starting today or tomorrow if it’s too late already. Apart from these, also have a positive outlook towards life and indulge in things like having a tech or gadget-free weekend, reading books, developing music taste, gardening, and more.

They would allow you to come back on Mondays fresher and open to challenges.

The post 9 Productivity Hacks for Software Developers appeared first on CareerMetis.com.

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sir-adamus · 7 years ago

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Timeline so far

I'm gonna piece together the timeline of the content of the show as we know it so far, not counting exposition of backstory

Year 1

Red trailer/manga chapter 1 - winter time, judging by the snow, so Ruby's already 15 here (as her birthday is 31st of October)

Weiss V5 Character Short - flashback sequence appears to be during winter (but could just be general Atlas weather due to how northerly it is); before White trailer as Weiss has her hair central and lacks her scar, which she gained in the trailer

White trailer/manga chapters 3 & 4 - time of year unclear, may be set not long before the start of school year as the purpose of the fight is Jacques (or rather his secretary) 'testing' Weiss, intending that she lose so she'll go to Atlas Academy where Jacques can still have control over her, instead of Vale, where she wants to go

Black trailer/manga chapters 5 & 6 - set at the same time as the flashback in 3x07 and the flashback of Blake's V5 Character Short. time of year doesn't seem to be winter (that it's set in Forever Fall doesn't help, though 3x07 suggests it's not winter, could be early spring)

Yang V5 Character Short - Yang mentions she'll be starting at Beacon 'soon' but evidently the two are still under the impression that Ruby will be staying at Signal this year. seems to be set around spring time

Yellow trailer/manga chapters 7, 8 & 9 - not long prior to 1x01 (as we see Roman hiring Junior's thugs)

1x01 - not long after Yellow trailer, not long before beginning of the semester

Schoolyear - Semester 1 (seemingly spring - summer)

Volume 1 - starts not long after the main events of 1x01. takes place over most of the course of this semester (episodes 2-10 being the first few days, then skipping some time further). within this, manga chapters 1/2 occur - barring the Red trailer flashback, most of these chapters happen sometime not long after 1x10, detailing an event of Jaune getting bullied by Cardin and Ruby fighting in the training arena for the first time (slight retcon with Ruby only deciding to wear her hood over her uniform after this event). this semester seems to take place over a few months - preparations for the Vytal festival begin, and exchange students begin arriving

Manga chapter 6 - a flashback at the end has Blake wake up from dreaming the events of the Black trailer at some point after 1x16 (as Weiss and Yang are aware of Blake's ears)

1x15 establishes that it's been 'months' since Ruby fought Roman at the Dust shop.

Manga chapter 10-15 - a training mission set after 1x16 (evidenced by Penny's appearance, mention of her having been 'influenced' by something - implied to be Ruby - and Roman scouting out the tunnels he will eventually be moving his operation into under Cinder's orders); RWBY and JNPR fight a Grimm that fuses together 4 King Taijitu into a hydra-esque monster; said Grimm was originally living in the tunnels leading to Mountain Glenn's undercity, and was accidentally released by Roman

Two week break between Semesters

Semester 2 (summer - autumn)

2x01 starts the day before semester 2 starts, Ruby mentions that the tournament marking the end of the Vytal festival is at "the end of the year" as preface for how "our second semester is going to be great!", so volumes 2 and 3 occur within the same semester

Volume 2 has a much more contained timeframe, taking place over the course of a couple of weeks and Vytal festivities beginning, starting with the dance prior to first year students beginning to take on real missions around the Kingdom - it's unclear if classes are still in session after this point for First Years (as higher year groups like CFVY are already on missions before this point)

Grimm Eclipse takes place somewhere between vols 2 and 3, and lasts a couple of days, detailing another mission team RWBY took on (JNPR are DLC for the game, so their presence isn't canon)

Volume 3 starts at the end of the semester, as autumn has really set in at this point (with colder weather, leaves starting to turn, etc.), suggesting it's September or, at most, mid-October (Ruby is still 15 as of 3x05, according to Ciel, and Ruby doesn't correct her). this volume only takes place over about 4 or 5 days

3x12 skips to winter at the end, meaning Ruby turned 16 in that gap, and visits Summer's grave (wrapping up the year started in the Red trailer)

Year 2

to start with, Ruby’s volume 4 character short, which features a village on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Vale being attacked by Grimm, Ruby notices and goes in to clear the place - this is the earliest point and probably not too long after the volume 3 finale (although long enough for the snow to have melted), likely early spring

due to the events of volume 5, we can assume that Blake's storyline in volume 4 starts first, but all four are several months after Ruby leaving in winter

the events of volume 4 for each character are actually all pretty self-contained to a few weeks (because they don't make sense if they spanned any longer), they're just not in sync with each other (though Yang's and Weiss's are close), and all appear to end not long before each character's start in volume 5

Blake starts volume 4 having only just recently gotten on to the ship to Menagerie - it seems to be spring/summer time, given that she's already dressed for warmer weather (and this arc ends not long before the 'present' sections of her character short and the beginning of her section in volume 5, which is two months before the start of the Fall Semester at Haven, which further suggests summer time) and her abilities have evidently taken a leap - it's possible the reason it's taken so long for her to leave the continent is she'd been traveling to the eastern part of the continent on foot and then got on a ship there, which'd explain the advancement in her abilities and the necessity for the new outfit

Ruby and JNR's story starts with 4x01, where they're helping out another village (so likely summer time, as this arc ends with them getting a lift to Mistral and Qrow recovering, with volume 5 starting not long after that, and that's a month before the beginning of the Fall Semester)

Yang's arc also seems to be summer time, again over the space of a few weeks (weeks are noted to have passed), and ends with a skip to her arriving in Anima, which can't be too long before her appearance in volume 5 (which is a few weeks after 5x01 for Ruby and JNR, as Oscar notes having had the cane for 'a few weeks' before Yang and Weiss arrive)

as mentioned Weiss's arc was more or less parallel to Yang's, seeming to take place over a few weeks and ending not long before where she was at the beginning of volume 5 (and she can't have been with the bandits too long before Yang showed up - they were planning on ransoming her and she was planning on breaking out with her summon)

this means Weiss and Yang reunite with Ruby at around the same time Blake's volume 5 arc in Menagerie ends (volume 5 for Blake went from 'two months' to 'two weeks', implying those events spanned the course of a month and a half)

it's noted in 5x01 that Haven isn't in session, and Ironwood remarks to Weiss that "a new semester will be starting soon" in volume 4 - this suggests that the school years at each Academy don't actually line up with each other (which makes sense, they're different nations with different systems, so one school might have a semester going on while another is on break), as 5x01 is a month prior to the beginning of the semester, yet if Haven's Fall Semester was its second semester, students should've been there, as the break between semesters, as per volume 2, is only two weeks

so, yeah, it's coming up on autumn with the start of the Fall semester, meaning it's now been roughly over a year��since volume 2 in-universe

Volume 6 starts 2 weeks following the Battle for Haven, with episodes 1-5 (as of this writing) spanning the same day for team RWBY and co.

Cinder revives at an unknown point (though implied not long) following 5x14. her initial encounter with Little Miss Malachite takes place a month after Haven, and it's noted that 'the big guy' (likely Hazel) came through a week prior (which must be after the scene in 6x04).

#rwby

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