#there's definitely others out there ive read that ive deleted from my mind

[toaster-tan]

can romance fantasy/historical manhwa PUHLEEASSEE stop doing that thing where the fl meets the ml when they're both children where the ml is very sweet and kind and then when they're grown up the ml becomes an aggressive yandere. its so offputting. like give me a hint at the start that things will turn in that direction💀

[tiredrobin]

me: why . did this gain over a hundred notes really fast. who did this. [spots mod in my tags] yeah fuckin. alright.

murderbot's primary combat tactic is to go up a wall. that's its favorite move. no one ever sees it coming, man. its second favorite combat tactic is to body tackle entities in the face. nothing on or off the planet is funnier than murderbot fighting like a flying squirrel

[orcelito]

Ok on why ITNL 15 was so technically difficult.

Under a cut for ppl who haven't read it & wanna keep it a surprise

So writing traditional action ends up feeling like choreography. I plan out the steps following the motion that feels the most natural. It can be tricky sometimes, but mostly in figuring out how to describe an action I see in my mind. Overall, I end up writing traditional action really quickly actually bc it's Fun and Exciting and it Flows

What went down in ITNL 15 was not traditional action. Really, it was an unconventional torture scene.

So the trickiness came from multiple things. First & honestly one of the hardest things was getting into the head of a madman. Someone who will gleefully kill a lot of people just to hurt someone psychologically. Someone spiteful, sadistic, and just having so much fun with it (but also not Actually having that much fun, bc he was also just Really Angry)

First time writing him, too. So I had to find a new character's voice On Top of exploring the whims he would follow when literally torturing someone.

And then we get to the actual actions of it. There was no choreography because there was no dance to it. No flow of motion. There was a Burst at the start of the interaction, but then it all just Stops. Vash is forced to take it at Legato's pace as he toys with him.

That was a huge part of how tricky it was. Following the thread of where Legato was taking it & being unable to push things along with Vash. Vash was just along for the ride, existing just to be toyed with. Falling right into Legato's expectations with his reactions...

Except for two parts. And these were some of the trickiest.

When he managed to break out of the control Just A Little Bit. And then when he's on his knees, emotionally stripped bare, and decides to go for the one jab that he knows will Hurt Him just as a stubborn "fuck you", since he didn't have any other way to take autonomy in that scene.

He pays for it. The paragraph where Legato broke Vash's nose was the one that took me 50 fucking minutes to write. Which, on that note, I can show a screenshot of my working through it!

Final paragraph: Legato's face twisted in instant fury. His hand tightened harshly in Vash's hair, using it as a grip to bash his nose into his knee with a sickening crunch.

And the progress pic ^ lmao. Something I do while trying to puzzle out wording is push the old version down & start working on a new version, but not deleting the old yet in case I wanna switch back or otherwise re-use any of the wording.

There ended up being about 15 of these discarded lines. 111 words of discarded text. Until I finally settled on the version in the thing.

Another thing I focus on a lot while writing is the motion of the words, and that was so much of the struggle here. Such a simple moment, you would think. He's just breaking his nose. But describing it in a way that is Concise while also communicating the gravity of it AND the motion of the words themselves. It's a lot to consider. And it's such a miserable moment for Vash, it was so hard to get it to a point I was satisfied with.

I'm pretty proud of how the scene turned out, in the end. Maybe not 100% perfect. There are definitely a few points that feel held together with duct tape and tooth picks. Then other parts where I'm just like "holy fucking shit, I wrote this???" An interesting combination, but I feel like that's writing in general.

And! It seems like my work paid off! People seem to have enjoyed the chapter, which makes all the work feel a lot more worth it. It's a nice feeling to know all that time is appreciated.

Yeah . A Lot went into this scene. Definitely out of the bounds of anything else ive written before. But I think I can confidently call this a success 😌

[rollercoasterwords]

hi i would like to rant to u if thats okay because i saw ur rant u wrote like 6 days ago and it just kinda made me think so i hope u don't mind.

i love writing. i always have and when im writing i always get excited, except then i started posting on the internet. at first i got some attention which actually pushed me to write more and then i wrote this fanfic that blew up and got a lot of attention which dont get me wrong was GREAT like im proud of it, but it also changed my perception of writing

all of a sudden this silly little thing i wrote was now something people were talking about with their friends and reccomending and that was great but it made me feel different about my own work. it changed how i percieved writing, and more often than not i catch myself writing for them, not for me.

recently i started writing this fic that made me giggle and kick my feet while writing it. i wrote it SO fast because i could not get enough of it, and then i started publishing and it didn't get much attention. i've had other fics that didnt get attention before and it was like meh, but after the work i wrote that blew up, it felt like my fics NEEDED to become popular to be good, which is like,,, shit

and whenever i posted a chapter of my new fic or talked about it, i'd get comments on my fic asking about my popular one, if i'll make a second one ect.

it made me lose interest in my story because i'd gotton hooked on others approval and i didn't want to write something they weren't interested in, because then they wouldn't read it and it would all be for nothing.

i forgot the original reason i started writing. for me. and its been so hard to try and just get back into that headspace of writing for me and not others because of the attention i'd gotton from my previous stories.like how i felt now that i had a fair few followers i owed them stories THEY wanted to read.

i'm not sure how to get back into writing for myself, because i don't want to delete my works or stop posting, because i do enjoy it when people say nice things and help my motivation, but at the same time it also makes me feel like i have to write what they want and not what i want, because if i write it and they dont like it ive failed

anyway thats my little rant, i dont know if u even understand what im talking about but it was nice to get off my chest

thank you <3

no i feel u i can def relate 2 a lot of that experience! it can be a weird experience 2 have a fic go viral & it is definitely not always entirely positive. honestly think the only reason i've escaped a lot of the harassment + hate i've seen directed towards other people who have had fics go viral is that my fic that went viral was a rewrite of someone else's story, so most of the discourse remains centered around the original story + writer which honestly. feels like i managed 2 dodge a bullet lmao

but i can def relate 2 the sudden pressure of abruptly finding urself in a situation where tons of people are reading something u were just casually writing 4 fun, and suddenly feeling like u need 2 meet certain demands or live up 2 expectations. honestly feeling this pressure to keep up w those expectations led to some burnout 4 me last fall/winter, which is why i stopped posting for a few months. and like obviously i can't say what would be most helpful 4 u--that's something u kinda have 2 figure out 4 urself--but i do know that for myself + for some other writer friends who i've talked to, taking a break from posting can be really helpful in like...reframing ur mindset. i think getting some distance from the constant expectations + demands + feedback can help sort of clear the air and strips away both that pressure + that attention + sort of makes it easier 2 focus on writing just to write for urself. 4 me it helped me figure out that while i do love sharing my writing + getting nice comments + messages + talking 2 people abt it etc, that's just icing on the cake, and writing still brings me a lot of joy even without any attention. and once i was able to like...center that attitude + ground my writing in personal enjoyment rather than the online attention economy, it made me feel steadier abt coming back + posting again, and also helped get rid of some of the anxiety of meeting people's expectations, bc i realized that at the end of the day i genuinely don't really care if someone dislikes my story so much that they need to stop reading it; in fact, i think it's better for everyone involved if someone who feels like they're not getting what they want from my story goes and looks for what they want somewhere else! it's not a failure on my part to sufficiently like...entertain an audience or provide a product, because that's not what i'm trying to do in the first place, y'know? and i think that shift in mindset helped a lot, and continues to help when i start 2 feel that pressure again from posting my writing online. it's counterintuitive at first bc i think we're all sort of conditioned to think there's no point to making art unless you're making it for an audience, but once u realize that The Audience is not the be all end all of creating art, i think it makes the process of creation a lot more freeing + fun.

anyway hope u are able 2 navigate the weirdness that can come with sharing ur writing online + find a way 2 write that brings u the most joy!!

[stars-in-our-skies]

you can ignore me completely since this is a diary blog but i wanted to say, as someone in a VERY conservative red state i somehow stumbled naturally across another queer plural person... (At work i complimented their hair and asked to be friends, after we started hanging out for some months) however much I've tried to be friends with them though it just... it's not turning out well. i hope you have better luck than me, and you find good friends. idk if we live in similar states or not but if you want another online friend, let me know. :-)

(i will say i am 19 so if you're uncomfortable i understand!)

wait anon im almost 19 so of course thats totally fine! and feel free to come off anon if youd like, i try to chat when im in a better mood (like rn) so it might take a bit for me to see but i always read asks & msgs from people sooner rather than later. maybe an online friend is what i need right now.

and as much as i treat this blog like my diary and try to remain anonymous (ive long since deleted all of my selfies despite the fact i'd love to share them, it just isn't safe for me) i definitely dont mind people chatting with me or reblogging my stuff unless it's tagged otherwise <3 i just find tumblr much safer to use than alternatives so i feel comfortable sharing my stories here.

as for your situation... i really do hope it improves. If not by clicking with them, at least by moving on and finding others. I mostly only meet people at cons since it's much safer there but the amount of times i've tried to get to know someone and it hasnt worked is almost laughable. Luckily for me there's a con this weekend so i get to try again, but i get that feeling and im sorry we've both gone through it. i know theres a lot more of us out there than it seems like but finding them is the tough part especially right now. I just try to remember that we'll survive it somehow.

Regardless, thank you for sending an ask. i'm happy to hear i'm not alone out here.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No way that’s actually so cool…. that mindset is actually just really impressive to me because if I was not as interested in something I feel like instead I’d just be less motivated to make it a masterpiece! You COOKED for your event fr I got converted via your event and works generally into liking or even just appreciating some characters more (I’m ngl I think white butterfly was one of my favs too something about the story was just so >>>>> started my conversion to Hiorism and my spiral into your masterlists I live for fwtkac saga though for obv reasons LMAO)

Bro I was literally reading through your work like SHE TOOK THE ASSIGNMENT SERIOUSLY??? STOP BC THE SOCCER PLAYER EGO AND RELIGIOUS TRAUMA IGAGURI??? Goodbye those plots cook I CANNOT see igaguri pulling someone….omg imagine bestie Noel??? Stop that dynamic would be too funny. Also! About neutrality you’re doing like. Too good of a job. It’s been awhile but as I mentioned before I found peregrine a looong time ago and then came back to it but besides that I think cherry tree was one of the other first works of yours I read? This was all before I put the pieces together that you wrote everything LMAO but I enjoyed both sm and I definitely couldn’t tell you didn’t like Rin as much LOL

LITERALLY the worst is when I have to write something like an essay or report on spot like ok get ready for an entire evolution of my thoughts then because we are not ending where we started LMAO

There’s SOOO many possibilities please BLLK managers I’m begging you to take this marketing opportunity…please….Ive seen some series make some not great business decisions imo so please don’t be one of them!! We NEED ego origin story at some point or another like…you also can’t just drop that symbolism in his volume cover and now elaborate anything

FR honestly I think we just have to wait for s2 hype kinda like jjk…I don’t expect it to be the same degree but something similar because it’s reaaallly popular in Japan right now and even Asia in general sooooo

PLEASE KARASU DESERVES ONE TOO!! With all the Karasu we’ve seen lately there’s gotta be some awakening/evolution coming soon…

UHHSHEHSH I think it is my app…I tried looking at other profiles and some work and some don’t….??? I can’t find a specific trend but idk I’ll do the usually on off delete app or something shshshgsshhs but THANK YOUUU that would be much appreciated!!! Sorry for having to go through you to ask LOL

**this is so random but ok so I type out all my asks in a separate note so I don’t accidentally lose everything if I close tumblr but I have no idea how to do strikethrough here so I usually wait to do it on tumblr so I put quotation marks to remind myself but I forgot to go back and do that for my last ask I mean to strikethrough itoshi hate but now it’s just sitting as quotation marks SHSGGSSH in my mind ik it’s not a big deal but it doesn’t capture the same vibe ugh….anyways just thought I should mention that cause it also looks weird just as it is now oops

-Karasu anon

THANK YOUUU there’s def times when a character is hard for me…for some reason i have the MOST trouble writing isagi??? idek why he’s a relatively simple character but i just cannot get into a mindset where i can write for him which is crazy 😭 the most i could do is have him be a side love interest i think (like a pi inumaki and tullia variant) but it’s crazy because he’s so popular and also just such a random character to find difficult to write for 😓

from just a writing standpoint white butterfly and the instrument are my favs!! from an enjoyment standpoint though fwtkac is the winner it was just so fun LMAOO…the way i still have a couple of requests left from that event is insane though 😭💔 i thought i’d be done by now tbh 😩 actually ykw if karasu’s version of bfb didn’t end up so long i bet i WOULD be done already!! but i’m in sooo deep now 😋 i can’t wait to finish and post it AHH it’s taking me a bit but i am determined i will get it out soon!!

HAHAHA IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE…pls soccer player ego who slowly drives away everyone he loves by going insane over his failure to be a striker + sarcastic deadpan bestie noa who does his best to comfort you but lowkey can’t would be an insanely fun combo!! and omg pls i can’t imagine igaguri pulling either 😰 it would be such a majestic heartbreaking fic and then you’d be reminded that it’s abt IGAGURI of all people and it’s just like WHY 😭 like a reverse crack fic HDKDJSJ

OKAY YAYYY i’m glad that it doesn’t come through!! especially with a request event i don’t want to make anyone sad by hating on their favs/doing a shitty job when they came to me and asked me to write for them yk?? ofc there’s a difference in word count and all (cherry tree being like 6k words roughly vs fwtkac being…well. you know.) but not in quality!! at least that’s the goal 😄

KANESHIRO KEEPS DROPPING THREADS ABT RANDOM STUFF AND THEN NOT ELABORATING!! like anri?? ego and noa?? whatever happened to sae?? WILDCARD?? i actually don’t mind bllk’s pacing tbh (it’s torturous when chapters are releasing but super good on reread imo) but there’s so many questions i needddd answered ASAP ✅ GET ME ON THE EXEC BOARD JUST TO APPROVE THESE SPIN-OFFS FR

i agree it’s rlly popular in asia and it’s also in a good spot because it’s kind of a blend of a typical battle shounen and sports anime (like jjk and haikyuu [never watched hq but i generally know of it]) so it can attract a diverse audience…once the battle shounen girlies give it a chance it’ll become sooo much more popular!! ik initially i was hesitant because i’m not hugely into sports so i thought it’d be boring but it’s rlly different and i obviously ended up loving it!! so hoping more people try it out and end up in that same spiral

THERE’S NO WAY WE’RE NOT GETTING SMTH he’s been featured heavily in epinagi AND keeps making cameos ik my man has GOT to be cooking because no way he’s going to end the game doing nothing…personally still holding onto the hope that he shidou and zantetsu link up to break their formation free from kunigami as that could get karasu some bonuses in terms of his offer as well as putting the focus on shidou and kunigami who are two SUPER unexplored characters that have a very shared/intertwined backstory which could then be elaborated upon!! but we shall see…atm the game is very rin kaiser isagi focused so who knows

HAHAH NEVER FEAR!! she gave me pinterest links but ngl one of them wasn’t working sooo i used one to go to the artist’s page on twitter/x/wtvr it’s called and found the art she mentioned!! here’s the link…it actually is really majestic although unfortunately i cannot read the little notes written on it 😩

LMAOOO omg don’t worry the quotation marks still got the message across fine!! and that makes sm sense bruh tumblr is so unreliable at times 😰

[olivieraa]

so tomorrow is like... the 10 year "anniversary" of my final relationship story back on my old blog. maybe I mentally knew? and that's why I was suddenly reminiscing the past couple of months?

cause I truly haven't thought about this in years. it was gone out of my mind and then suddenly I had a craving of some sort, to just re-read a few (I ended up reading way more than I thought)

so they had their babies. and it was a Friday the 13th. we actually loved this decision bc that's what we did on there. we put a lot of thought into every decision we made. but it was the final one. I was very happy that things ended so well and perfect for my boy.

trying to remember me behind the scenes tho? I was either feeling rage or nothing. I think it was closer to nothing. I think I was done by that point, and had already had my sad and rage moments.

bc in the end, I was the one dealing with the true villain irl. and the funniest thing about that is, regardless of context, it was this message in my inbox

this was an odd thing for me to see the day I saw it bc I actually think I saw it a year after it was sent. cause I had that account blocked. and I think when I was erasing porn blogs from my blocked list (for some reason), I obviously unblocked this account and then saw these messages in my inbox, which also included

I guess the funniest thing overall, or maybe the most anger inducing? is this idea that she doesn't see herself as the bad guy, but villains don't know they're villains, do they?

but in the end, its now been 10 years. I've a vague idea of what she's doing with her life currently. but no matter how much she has changed, literally no matter how different a person she is right now, if you don't make up for past mistakes in some way, then you're still the bad guy.

if you dont care about hurting someone you cared about, and years pass and little messages like these are the best you can do, then you're still the bad guy. whether 10 years has passed or not.

she never actually tried to be forgiven bc she didn't actually care who she hurt. and not caring that she hurt the person she claimed was the best thing in her life, is truly despicable.

but y'know, I'd actually forgotten I did this. I forgot that I messaged one or her real life friends to ask them to keep me up to date on her if anything bad happens to her, bc despite my anger, I didn't just stop caring. but its when 2 years passed I think it was, I deleted her friend and wanted nothing to do with her.

the "glad you're still alive" hits different when I look at it now. it sounds... so empty. this was 2 years after we stopped being friends. imagine a message to me now. could it even get emptier than that message? a 10 year check up message? I actually doubt it, that one already sounds heartless.

but here's the thing... I am the most forgiving person. I'm the definition of "I'll forgive but never forget". I've too good of a memory to forget things. if she ever wanted to talk, I'd talk. and prob forgive her despite how much she hurt me.

I actually did it sort of recently. I forgived a guy who had been out of my life for 3 years. he hasn't even been apologetic about it, he's been OVERLY apologetic about it. and I've told him I forgive him. we talk almost every day. I had sleep paralysis the other night and he comforted me. but will I ever forget what he did? no. will we ever be like we were? no. but I forgive him. bc he apologised and meant it. it was heartfelt. that's all I've ever asked for.

but with her? I legitimately dont think she thinks she did anything wrong. I think she's gone on with her life believing there's no loose ends from her past. I think if I died, she'd feel absolutely nothing from it.

and this is regardless of if she agrees with my current political and feminist views. she could be super anti-radfem for all I know, Ive no idea. but that doesnt matter, bc even if all these feminists posts weren't here and she knew none of this about me, I still think she'd feel the exact same.

but anyway, I obviously moved on with my life. again, I think my never-forgets brain just knew that this year was 10 years. cause the craving to go back and re-read was weirdly strong and super random. and she's obviously moved on too. and I hope she's happy. I used to not care if she was happy or not. but now I do. I'm too now old to bother with a 10 year grudge. the situation is "ah well". that's how I see it now. whether she sees this or not, who knows. I never know if she's watching.

my final message before I stop talking about this forever would be:

I'm willing to talk. We shared something for a few years of our lives and tho it may have only meant something to you in the moment, it impacted me for years afterwards until I eventually got over it. The last time I would have thought about it was 4 years later, in 2018. I was with my new best friend, and she was holding me on her lap, and we were drunk, at a college party, and I went into reminiscing mode bc it was Feb 8th. And she comforted me. But that was the last time.

I dont know how different you are now. But I do know, even when we were friends, you were hard to talk to. You "ran away" a lot. I'm a "lets fix the problem" person, you were a "lets just bury the problem" person. Never wanting to see it through to the end. Just, forget about it and move on. I'd only be willing to talk if an actual talk was going to happen, and we got it all out.

But like I said before, I dont think you even know you're the bad one. I dont think you think you need to be forgiven. So its up to you, if you actually acknowledge what you did and want to finally move past it. That or you truly already have, and a talk with me is something you couldnt give a damn about, bc you dont think anything needs to be forgiven and you've changed too much in 10 years to ever bother returning to a problem you dont believe existed.

But yeah, this is the last time I'll talk about it. Its officially 10 years as of tomorrow. Lets see if my my brain remembers the 20th anniversary. Only time will tell.

[transcendence-through-exposure]

Hello and welcome to my page (If anyone does see this) i want to start with an introduction.

let's just say my name is D and with alot of years of battling my own demons, I've finally have an understanding with them to live in balance with myself. i would delete all the posts I shared but after looking at them i realized how depressed i really was growing up. It's a place in my mind i had forgotten about until recently and has been building up for some time now, so I've come here to share.

For some reason it's a trigger to be asked if I'm okay. I can't fully say im happy, but im at a point where i just can't feel emotions like i used to. I tried the whole emotion thing after being numb for so long... And so far it's only caused problems. for example, I've recently opened myself to have new friends ( because I've only ever hung out with the same group of friends since i was a child.)

Lets say i work with music not gonna be too specific but i ended up working with a fundraising group who i will not name and discovered the world of sober bars. I don't wanna say i had a problem with alcohol or drugs but i realized what i had been doing to myself but that's another story i will share, I'm currently 5 years off drugs and 3 years no alcohol or soda (nothing too hardcore) just liked to party when i was younger guess it was a coping mechanism for me and when someone close passed i went down a spiral it was the only thing that kept me numb. I used to love that numb feeling and the flavor of alcohol.. i miss it sometimes but im definitely a better person without it. growing up i was always around alcohol, drugs, and gang members. Back in the day it wasn't entirely safe in my neighborhood but im getting off subject again so i will definitely write about that in a later blog.

Back to what i was talking about long story short i let people into my circle and i guess for some reason i have this tendency to wanna help people when i have nothing to give a quote i always remember is " never pour from an empty cup" and i like to say " im not a cup. I'm the person who guides the water to the cup." Meaning im here to build you up, a way to turn the flow to fill up the cups of others. I don't know if I'll ever have a true happiness. again, it's a trigger and truly makes me cry sometimes even though im usually really good with not feeling anything.

Kinda why i started my career in music. It was a new version of me that i chose in my pursuit of happiness. I can honestly say if it wasn't for music i wouldn't be here right now. it's better than any drug or alcohol and gave the feeling of pure serenity. I want to show people that there's a world that cares for you even when there's no one around. When you need that conversation but dont have anyone to talk to. It's crazy to think that a total stanger can talk through this beautiful art to your soul and be able to heal from it.

I think that's enough for tonight it's about 3AM and started this on the beach (where i usually go to throw all my negative thoughts). I'm tired, ive been more tired than usually recently but i don't let it stop me from getting things done most of the time i dont want to. but i always push myself to get it done. Growing up depressed i learned to cope with it so i really dont feel emotions as hard as I used to

ps. Im not sad or happy im just good enough to get through everyday knowing that we're all destined for greatness, I'm more at peace with myself and understand my feelings. Im self centered, in balance with my thoughts and emotions. hope i can help others whether it be a story, music or personal poetry.

Ok now im done, Thank you so much for reading, hope to see you again peace and love ☯️ .

[ladyimaginarium]

helloo, i hope its okay for me to send this here… but! i saw you made a post on @multiplicity-positivity and mentioned indigenous people with a low quantum bloodline, and it got me thinking.

my maternal grandfather was a member of the blackfeet (specifically aamsskáápipikani) nation. he was born and grew up there, but moved to florida in the 60s, where he met my grandma. i never met him (he died before i was born), but i heard a lot about him growing up. his name was something like “barking yellow coyote” but everyone called him frankie, and thats how hes referred to by my grandma when we talk about him.

no one in my family is very interested in connecting with our indigenous roots, and i never would have considered myself indigenous since my family is so white passing. my mom turned out pretty light skinned despite being mixed, and all of my siblings and i are very white. but ive always felt so pulled to the blackfeet nation for my whole life. i used to ask about my grandpa all the time, and even though ive never met him i feel so connected to him and ive always felt this drive to immerse myself in his culture and learn more about the blackfoot nation. i feel guilty about it though, since im basically white and i dont want to intrude in a space that isnt for me.

i guess what im wondering is… is it okay to want to connect with the blackfoot nation if i have never been to the actual reservation, and have never even met my only relative who was a full-blooded member? am i considered partially indigenous, and am i allowed to try and explore that aspect of my identity?

idk your post really spoke to me and so i wanted to reach out. im sorry if this is breaking any of your boundaries or something. if im being totally honest i didnt really check out your blog too much before i hit the ask button… you can just delete this if you’re uncomfortable responding. either way thanks for reading, have a great day!

-🍓🌙 (my emoji tag just in case you do post this)

Hi, uh. Sorry, we& just woke up from an unexpected nap and I& guess I'm& fronting now? This shit is weird, it never happened to me& before but here we& are. Anyway, nice to meet you. To answer your question, we're& not bodily Blackfoot or anything like that but I& think it's only natural that you'd wanna discover and reclaim your heritage. Usually there's a reason for it. I'd& say go for it as long as you be respectful about it and do it for the right reasons. Blood quantum is colonizer bullshit. But keep in mind there's no "part" indigenous of anything, you either are or you aren't. That's all I& really gotta say on the topic. We're& glad it touched you and collectively wish you the best if you do end up reconnecting to your heritage, just know it's a long and hard journey and from experience, it isn't always fun because you also have to dig up intergenerational trauma and all that other shit, and you also have to be active and fight for your community, it's definitely not all fun and games, but it's worth it. To anybody else who's disconnected and who reads this: please don't give us& your whole entire life story and ask us& if you're Native enough, don't ask us& questions about your place in the Native community, or whether you're Native or not, or on whether you can do certain things, especially if you haven't even started your reconnection journey. I& realize we're& very vocal on our& indigeneity and the issues our& communities face, we're& collectively flattered you guys come to us& about these things, but that doesn't automatically mean that it's an invitation to come into our& inbox and seek validation, especially if we're& not from your nation. We're& not elders or knowledge keepers. Thanks.

— 🍊 / Clementine Maria Jasmine Cree&, she/her; they/them.

[tonoiho]

final thoughts on Sonic Frontiers (as a viewer and not a player)

ive got some stuff to say about the game since i finished watching playthroughs and i will try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible, but still going to tag it and add a read more.

i will not be sharing/posting any big spoilers for the game until after official release as ive stated before (albeit in a now-deleted post). regardless, any possible spoilers will always be tagged. same goes for fanart.

Admittedly before, I didn't have much hope for Frontiers despite my excitement, but recently as more and more info came out (and me looking for leaks oops), I was a lot less pessimistic.

It takes a LOT for something in the franchise to disappoint me, and I mean that. I'm more of a "accept something as it is" kinda guy when it comes to Sonic because for even the "bad" games, I just appreciate them for existing in the first place since they make me happy.

But unfortunately, as great as Frontiers was throughout the majority of the game, the ending was surprisingly underwhelming at best, disappointing at worst. It wasn't bad I guess and maybe that's just me being nice, but it was anticlimactic for sure. I will say, while many people find the true final boss to be boring or otherwise "lazy", I honestly thought it was interesting. It isn't the best final boss fight ever, but interesting. I'm hoping we learn more about them in the future.

There is a point on the 4th island where the stakes of the story are at their highest, only for it to be easily resolved within seconds in the most anticlimactic and cheesy (/neg) way. Which is unfortunate seeing this was something specific fans were looking forward to. The game from that point on kind of takes a turn. Again, it's not really bad, but it feels like stuff is missing from the game entirely and a ton of missed opportunities.

There is also a big complaint I keep seeing about the final islands just being extensions of Kronos, and to that I say I really don't mind. The 4th island is story driven strictly anyway, with no enemies, Cyberspace levels, or maps. I do tend to look forward to lore than gameplay regardless, so I understand people being upset by this, but I personally am not.

Despite all the negatives, the majority of the game was amazing from a viewer standpoint. I loved the character interactions and developments, and I can't even say "oh this character had the better development" because they all were great in my opinion, and I hope we get to see that in future games. There were plenty of moments between characters that got me emotional to the point of tearing up or entirely sobbing, but that could just be me.

Another thing I adored was the soundtrack. Some songs are definitely more memorable than others, but that's just kinda how soundtracks are. I enjoyed the vocal tracks and Cyberspace level themes a lot. Music is a big, important thing to me and I'm glad Frontiers did not disappoint on that at all.

Seeing as there are things that were very obviously left out or cut from the game for one reason or another, I hope they get expanded on in some form. It would be nice to get an IDW comic about Frontiers more extensive than the prequel honestly because there is so much potential.

I'd say up until the 4th island, the game is a 9/10. Anything after is a 7/10. Definitely get the game if you've been looking forward to it; I'd hope its flaws don't ruin the whole experience for you when most of the game is good, just don't expect the most spectacular ending.

And of course before I close this off, if you do still plan on playing it, there is a "true" final boss that is not indicated anywhere in or outside of the game at all. To get to that boss, you need to play on hard mode. Easy and normal mode gets you the cut/shortened ending.

Overall, if given the chance to play Frontiers, I will. I just don't see myself buying it for a while (mainly because I'm broke lmfao).

I hope this was helpful to someone, and I hope despite everything you still allow yourselves to have fun with Frontiers.

[kurt-nightcrawler]

And I figured out we’re dating in this Chili’s tonight

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Request: Mother Nature and warren have my whole ass HEART!!!!! I loved flower so much. I know you’re gonna write lil dates one day I wonder if you’ll write something of how they officially got together?? Like who asked who to be each other’s girlf/boyf . Would be so cute I know you’re busy but either way all your fics are *chefs kiss* —(I think this was from an anon!)

Blurb: Mother Nature and Warren are officially dating! They figured it out!

Warnings: some language and mentions of sex

Word Count: 7.6k

A/N: the timeline is kind of all over. This is set before Decay but I posted it way after! Anyway! Enjoy!

Warren was on Instagram as Scott explained the plot of Fast and The Furious 7 to Jean. 

“It’s not good— but my dad loves them— mostly for the cars— but it’s supposed to be the last movie in the franchise. I think…” 

Warren rarely posted— on his story and his main page— but he looked at what his friends were up to. 

He tapped on (Y/N)’s profile icon to view her story— the highlight of his lunch period. She wasn’t around for the time being— she had mentioned a test she was retaking, which made Warren sad. He wouldn’t get to sit next to her and share whatever fruit she grew for lunch, but he also wanted her to do well and get good grades. 

(Y/N) had posted a photo of a movie poster with the caption, “OHMYGOD!! ” followed by a blue and yellow shocked face emoji and a heart-eyed emoji. The movie poster in question was for the animated Addams Family movie. 

“Is there a new Addams family movie coming out?” Warren asked. 

“Yeah, (Y/N) watched the latest trailer during class. She’s really excited about it,” Jean told him.

Warren felt himself get shaky with nerves and excitement. He could ask her to go see it with him. Just him. Not with the whole group, or Jubilee third-wheeling, or Jean and Scott with them, making out in the seat next to them. 

Wait. 

Am I going to ask her on a date? Is that what this is? A date? 

“You good?” Scott asked.

“What?” Warren glanced at him. “Oh, yeah… Yeah, I’m good.” 

“Okay.”

Warren went back to his phone, pressing reply to (Y/N)’s story post about the Addams Family movie coming out. 

He started to type out a message. 

“Hey. Would you want to see this together when it comes out? We could also go out for dinner?” Warren then promptly deleted the entire message. 

No, no. That makes me sound like a lonely middle-aged mom. He thought to himself.

“I think it was fine!”

“Ah!” Warren flinched. “Did you read my mind, Jean?” 

“No…” Jean denied.

Warren frowned. 

“I was curious as to what you were doing, and you were really nervous and your thoughts are loud anyway.” 

“What?” Scott asked. 

“Warren’s trying to ask (Y/N) out on a date to the movies,” Jean explained.

“It’s not a date!” Warren tried to defend.

“When is it ever going to be a date?” Scott asked. “It wasn’t a date when she slept over in your room and you watched Phineas and Ferb and ordered pizza. It wasn’t a date when you spent three hours at the library studying together. It wasn’t a date when you spent the afternoon together and she told you her secret brownie recipe! When is it ever going to be a date?”

“I… I don’t… Those were not dates...” 

“They kind of were,” Jean admitted. “That’s what people do on dates. Scott and I do stuff like that all the time…” 

Warren blinked. 

“You’ve dated people before, right?” Scott asked him.

“I mean “date” is a loose term but, yeah…” 

 Scott decided he didn’t have time to unpack that sentence. “Okay. What did you do with them to like, spend time together, and stuff?”

“We mostly just got drunk and hooked up…” 

Scott sighed, “You sound like my brother after he got out of jail.” 

“Warren, have… you… never been on a real date before?” Jean asked.

“Well, um, I mean, my last “girlfriend” and I went to clubs and stuff in Germany, but we’d usually go with some friends…” He admitted.   

“Oh my god…” Scott mumbled.

Warren panicked. “Wait, did— Did (Y/N) think we were dating this whole time?” 

“I don’t know,” Jean shrugged.

“Everyone else thought you guys were,” Scott muttered. 

“So we’ve been dating this whole time?” 

“I mean, kind of…” 

Warren paled. He had no idea what to do. Were they dating? Were they not dating? What was he supposed to do as a boyfriend? Or not a boyfriend? 

“Just ask her, ‘what are we?’ That should clear things up.” 

Warren gawked at Scott. “What are we? That’s the cliche that makes guys run for the hills! I can’t ask her that!”

“(Y/N)’s reasonable,” Jean reminded him. “If you ask her that, she won’t run away.” 

Warren didn’t say anything back. 

“Just ask her what you were originally going to say on Instagram.”

Warren whined. 

“Do it now.” Jean advised. “Before Jubilee makes plans to see the movie with her.” 

Warren paled at the possibility of (Y/N) not being available. He quickly typed out another message and sent it. 

“Oh my god! Oh my god, I just did that! Hhhhh…” Warren quickly threw his phone on the table and refused to look at it. 

Jean chuckled and rolled her eyes, taking his phone to see if (Y/N) replied.

—

(Y/N) finished her test early and decided to check up on some of the plants in the attic greenhouse before her next class. 

She had been focusing on a baby caladium, making sure it had plenty of sun and water and was growing at a healthy pace. 

(Y/N) named it, Warren Worthington IV, but she told no one and would take that piece of information to the grave.  

 As she was poking Warren the Fourth’s soil to see if it needed water for the day, she felt her phone vibrate against her thigh in her pocket. 

She pulled it out to see that Warren— the Third— had replied to her Instagram story. Her eyes turned pink just by reading his name on her phone screen.  

“Do you want to see this together Friday night? We could go to Chili’s before and get dinner?”

(Y/N) read the message over at least ten times. Dinner and a movie? Was Warren asking her on a date? 

Her eyes were orange in confusion and purple due to nerves. 

She took a few minutes but finally responded with, “Yeah! There’s a showing on Friday at 9 at the theatre by the mall. Does that work?” 

Warren immediately hearted the message and said, “Yeah :)” 

(Y/N) hearted his message. Excited and a bit nervous for Friday, she left the attic and headed to her next class. 

—

(Y/N) ignored any work she had after class and immediately went through her closet, rummaging for clothes.

“Whatcha doing?” Ororo asked, setting her books on her bed. 

“You’ve been on plenty of not date dates,” (Y/N) began. Ororo gave her a curious look. “What would you wear?”

“Are you going out on a date?” Ororo asked. 

“Well, not exactly…” (Y/N) confessed. 

Ororo smirked as she opened her notebook and started working on an assignment, “Is it with Warren?”

“Who else would it be?” (Y/N) asked.

“I don’t know… Dylan from math class? Ruby from my yoga class? The handful of people from Bayville you’ve kissed at house parties before you even knew Warren? There are options.”

(Y/N) was not amused. 

“Are you and Warren going out on a date? Or is this a ‘we’re just hanging out… alone together… but just as friends! Because we are friends! Who like each other very romantically! But we refuse to do anything about it!’”

(Y/N) sighed. “Okay, so he didn’t explicitly say it was a date, but we’re seeing the new Addams Family movie and going to Chili’s.” 

Ororo blinked in shock, Warren asked (Y/N) to see a movie about one of her favorite franchises and go to one of her favorite go-to restaurants, and he didn’t clarify if it was a date or not? 

What a dumbass, Ororo mused, tearing herself away from her work to go on her phone.

 Ororo

Are you and (Y/N) going on a date?

 No response. 

Ororo went back to her homework, glancing at (Y/N) every so often to give feedback on the numerous items she pulled out of her closet. 

“Is a dress too much?” 

“Definitely,” Ororo stated without looking up. “I’ve only worn a dress twice since I came here and one I borrowed from Jubilee.” 

(Y/N) sighed and kept looking for options. Ororo’s phone screen lit up, and she quickly grabbed it, checking to see if Warren responded.

 Warren

I think so???

 Ororo

What do you mean? “i tHiNk So” 

 Warren

*not amused emoji* 

I’m not sure if we’re dating or not. We were gonna talk about it at dinner.

 “Are you and Warren dating?” Ororo asked. 

(Y/N) froze at the question, unsure what to say. “I mean… no… but like, we like each other— or I like him. I think he likes me. Sometimes I’m not really sure—”

“—(Y/N),” Ororo interrupted. “He likes you a lot. Assume this is a date.” 

“Assume— What?” (Y/N) gaped.   

Ororo looked at her phone again, seeing five text messages from Warren in panic, asking why she didn’t respond.

 Ororo

Calm down!

You should thank me

 Warren

Ro…

What did you do?...

 Ororo

You have to trust me… ;)

 Warren

*Not amused emoji*

 Ororo left Warren on read and continued her assignment. Until someone barged into the room, unexpected.

Jubilee came in, bubbling with enthusiasm. “I heard from Jean! Oh my god, I have to help you pick out an outfit! This is huge!” 

“It’s not a date…” (Y/N) awkwardly tried to explain.

“Oh, no— it definitely is!” 

Ororo and (Y/N) were both confused. 

“We all know Warren is a little… emotionally hesitant…” Juilee carefully stated. “But like, if it was anyone else they would have literally said, “Wanna go on a date with me and see The Addams Family?” Warren’s just scared you’d say no— which you’d never do.” 

“Is he— I thought he knew I liked him?”

“He’s a guy,” Jubilee explained as she looked in (Y/N)’s closet for something she could wear. “They never know what they’re doing.”

(Y/N) sat on the floor, with more questions than answers from everything Jubilee had said.

“This would be perfect!” It was a black skater skirt. “Skirts are your best friend in times like these.” 

“Huh?” 

“Incase anything happens… Duh!” Jubilee stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. (Y/N) didn’t respond, causing Jubilee to groan. 

“From That 70s Show? Skirts are your best friend for sex. Zip, zip, bim, bam! You’re done, you’re dressed, you’re back to whatever you were doing. Nobody suspects a thing!” 

“Jubilee, they’re seeing a kids movie, not having sex,” Ororo told her.

“Hmm…” Jubilee crossed her arms. “You should still wear the skirt. You look really pretty in it anyway.” 

(Y/N) sat there, eyes wide and purple, mind reeling, trying to process what Jubilee said.

“We’re… We’re not going to have sex, are we? I’m not— I don’t think— I don’t even know if we’re dating or not!” 

“Hey, hey— Jubilee’s just messing around.” Ororo moved from her bed to sit next to (Y/N) and rub her back. “She’s just used to Scott and Jean’s shenanigans. Plus, Warren’s a good guy! He won’t pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to and he’s too nervous to do anything like that anyway.”

 “Warren’s like, obsessed with you, in a good way. And if he doesn���t respect your boundaries I can snap his neck for you.” Jubilee innocently smiled and batted her eyes. 

“Thanks… Do you think my soft dark green sweater would look good with the skirt?”

  “Oh my god yes!” Jubilee grabbed it out of the closet and set it on (Y/N)’s bed. “And with your Doc Martens? Goth little plant goddess vibes. I love it.”

“You think I’ll be warm enough? Should I bring a jacket?” (Y/N) checked the weather on her phone. 

“You should be fine! Besides, if you’re cold…” Jubilee smirked. “You can always cuddle with Warren in the movie theatre.” 

Ororo smiled and rolled her eyes, while (Y/N) decided to humor her, “I’ll keep it in mind.” 

—

Friday couldn’t come soon enough— Warren kept thinking about how (Y/N) said, “Yes.” And about what might happen, how he would bring up the question that would change everything. He was distracted during training, nervous, and lost in thought. He constantly talked about his weekend plans with some of their friends. 

Some found it annoying at first, but most had never seen Warren so passionate about something before. It was sweet.

“I dunno, I just want things to go well. But what if I make things awkward? I say or do something really stupid? What if I spill my drink all over my crotch and then it looks like I peed myself?”

“That’s not going to happen,” Ororo reassured him. 

“What if our server flirts with her?”

“Just glare at them. You’re scary enough.” 

Warren sighed, wishing time moved as fast for him as it did for Peter.

“Just be yourself and have a good time. Open doors for her, tell her she’s beautiful, if she’s cold give her your jacket, walk her back to her dorm room— things like that.” Ororo told him. “Those will make it obvious that it’s a date. Because you guys do date activities all the time, and you refuse to admit it’s a date.” 

Warren huffed at her. Ororo stuck out her tongue.  

—

It was Friday.

(Y/N) had been antsy in all of her classes, just wanting them to end so she could get ready for the night. 

She had her outfit picked out and ready. (Y/N) planned on light makeup— a little eyeshadow and lipgloss— and she had a small little purse packed with a few things. 

 (Y/N) started to doubt herself. “Maybe a skirt is too much… It’s dinner and a movie… Maybe I should just wear jeans…”  

She huffed as she held the skirt up to her waist. “But I wanna look cute… Screw it!” 

(Y/N) slipped the skirt and sweater on, doing a french tuck, and then started to apply makeup. She was done in under thirty minutes, and then looked over her hair in the mirror, trying to hastily pluck out leaves and shove flowers into different areas of her head and strategically place them under specific sections. 

Once (Y/N) was satisfied with how she looked, she checked the time. It was 5:30, and (Y/N) and Warren weren’t leaving until six. So she had time to just sit around and wait.

(Y/N) pulled her phone out and opened Snapchat, choosing to take at least a hundred selfies with different filters. 

Holding her phone from different angles, making different faces, posing in slightly different positions, and choosing a new filter every five photos, almost like a mini-photoshoot in the palm of her hand. Some selfies got posted to her Snapchat story, others were sent to Jubilee and Ororo, and the remainder were saved but would probably never see the light of day. She huffed and tapped through people’s Snapchat stories to kill more time.

Warren asked Jubilee for help. 

Well, he didn’t exactly ask, she just texted him, “I’m helping you get ready.” And he thanked her. 

“One of the hottest things a guy can do is have good hygiene. You, surprisingly, already have accomplished that—”

“Hey!” Warren frowned as he pulled his leather jacket out from his closet. “Did you, like, think I didn’t?”

“No! I’m just surprised you know what exfoliate means… Do you have a different jacket? That one is cute and everything, but it’s a bit much.” 

“It’s the easiest one I can get my wings out of,” Warren explained while slipping on a black shirt.

“Why? Also, do you only wear black?” Jubilee complained.

“In case (Y/N) gets cold…? Also, no, I have that one yellow sweater you made me get and some white shirts.” Warren defended.

Jubilee almost scoffed, “(Y/N)’s not going to get cold. You’re going out to eat and the movies.”

“Well, Ororo said I should give her my jacket in case she is cold.” 

“Fair enough,” Jubilee mumbled. “I was supposed to hang out with Ororo tonight… We were going to make Tiktoks and watch Wonder Woman.”

“I thought she went stargazing with Kurt?” Warren asked as he laced up his boots. 

“Yeah! And they didn’t invite me!” Jubilee flopped onto Kurt’s empty bed and huffed.

“Jubilee— I don’t think—”

“I’m a fucking delight to be around!” 

Warren’s eyes widened, “I didn’t say you weren’t.” 

“It sucks because Kurt’s got the accent, he can sword fight, he likes movies but hates Tarantino, he’s respectful, god and he’s just as hot as Ororo.” 

“Um…” Warren furrowed his brows. “Do you think, maybe— maybe uh, Ororo thinks you like Kurt?” 

Jubilee looked at him with a deadpan expression. Warren panicked, thinking he said the wrong thing. 

“I like both of them, Bird brain! It’s the fact they haven’t expressed liking me at all and probably don’t want that. Also like half of the girls at Bayville think Kurt’s hot and try to kiss him at house parties.” 

“Oh…” Warren hadn’t considered that. “Um… I uh, I had a threesome once—” 

“Oh my god! Stop!” Jubilee cringed. “I don’t wanna hear about that right now! Go get your girlfriend, and like, yawn, and stretch your arm out over her while Gomez confesses his undying love for Morticia for the millionth time.” 

“Okay, okay.” Warren grabbed his phone and wallet. “Don’t spend all night in here,” He advised, leaving Jubilee alone in his room. 

—

Warren sent (Y/N) a text, asking if she was ready. She said yes, and asked him to meet her in the common room area. 

Warren found her sitting in a lounge chair, talking to a student. (Y/N) turned her head and saw Warren. She got up and smiled, bid the other person goodbye, and then walked over to Warren. 

“Hey!” She greeted him. 

“Uh, hey.” Warren tried to discreetly check her out. She looked nice. “You look really nice.” 

“Oh, uh, thanks.” (Y/N)’s pink eyes shifted to a slightly purple hue. “You do too.”   

“Thanks… Are you ready to go?” 

(Y/N) nodded, “Yeah. What car are we taking?”

“Um…” Warren realized he didn’t decide on which one of Xavier’s numerous cars he was taking out for the night. Not that it mattered, but he was a bit frustrated with himself on that one. 

“I don’t know…” 

(Y/N) snickered to herself. “That’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Jubilee and I do have a rule though.” 

“What is it?” 

“Whatever car Scott and Jean took last, don’t even touch it.” 

Warren blinked, “I don’t get it.” 

(Y/N)’s eyes turned purple completely. 

“Um, uh, it’s cause um— it’s not... clean...”

“Oh…” Suddenly, everything connected in Warren’s mind.  

“Oh!”       

(Y/N) nodded, “Yeah...” 

“Scott likes the Oldsmobile rocket. Maybe we should avoid that one…”

“Yeah. Yeah…”

They picked a different car. Warren didn’t get a chance to open the door for (Y/N), but he told himself the night had only just begun, and he’d get another chance. 

 “Want me to play some music?” (Y/N) asked.

“Sure! Play whatever you want.”

“You don’t have a preference or anything…?” She questioned, while her thumb hovered over the play button of a playlist. 

“Not really… Besides, I can pick next time.” 

(Y/N)’s eyes flashed purple and she mumbled in agreement and started a playlist. 

Warren cursed internally to himself. Why would I say that? Why did I say that!? As if I’d have the privilege of going out with her again after that dumbass sentence. 

Warren made a lame attempt to change the subject. “Are you excited about the movie?”

 “Yeah! They announced the cast like a year ago, and I thought it was going to be live-action, but animation is probably better for The Addams Family. It’s supposed to be really good! Oscar Isaac is voicing Gomez—” 

“—Who?”

“Poe from Star Wars…”

“Finn’s boyfriend?” Warren asked.

(Y/N) smiled, “Yeah, yeah. Him.” 

“I haven’t seen anything else he’s been in, but Kurt and Scott say he’s a really good actor.”

“Hmm…” I wonder if she thinks he’s hot… I mean Oscar is, but I doubt I can compete with that. 

No, no, Worthington. Remember what Jean said, “No self-deprecating thoughts.”

“Pugsley’s voiced by Finn Wolfhard. He was in Stranger Things…”

Warren nodded, he knew what Stranger Things was. He watched it with Jubilee, Kurt, and Ororo over Labor Day weekend.  

“He plays Will, right?” 

“No. Finn has curly hair…” “Dustin?...” Warren was unsure about his answer, but he knew Dustin had curly hair. 

“Mike. Eleven’s boyfriend? Black hair?” 

“Oh… Okay… I feel really stupid. I should have known that.” 

(Y/N) scoffed, “You’re fine. There’s like seven of them, and that’s not even including the adults and the characters our age.”

“Yeah, that’s true, I guess. I might rewatch it…” 

An idea came to (Y/N), “We should have like, a marathon with our friends! We could also play D&D.” 

“I never played before,” Warren admitted. 

“I haven’t either really… but I kind of know how to play… Scott’s played before! He was really into D&D before he came to Xavier’s.” 

Warren chuckled quietly, “That doesn’t surprise me.” 

“Yeah, he’s kind of a dork, but just because you play a board game doesn’t mean you’re lame.”

“Yeah— Do you see any parking spots?” Warren asked.

(Y/N) shifted in her seat, looking for an empty spot, “Yeah, right there.” 

 Warren slowed down and started to pull in. “God, I’m so bad at parking. Please don’t judge me.” 

(Y/N) laughed, “You can’t be bad as Jubilee. She tried to park at the mall and ran over a curb. We thought the tired popped off!” 

“No!” Warren gasped. 

(Y/N) nodded, “The car was fine, but Jubilee had Jean drive home.” 

Warren snickered as he put the car in park and then turned it off. 

(Y/N) got out before Warren could open the door for her. He bit his lip in frustration. 

“Oh, the sun is so pretty!” (Y/N) cooed. “I love golden hour sometimes.”

 “I don’t… What?” Warren wasn’t too sure what golden hour was. Jubilee had mentioned it before, but he never asked what it meant. 

“Come here—” (Y/N) pulled out her phone and held it horizontally. “Get in the frame and smile!” 

Warren obliged, smiling and doing an awkward peace sign. (Y/N) grinned, also doing a peace sign, with her eyes closed and tongue poking out slightly. 

“Let me see how it turned out— Oh my god! We look amazing.” She was practically gleaming as she angled the phone towards Warren so he could see the photo. 

Warren smiled. 

“Want me to send this to you?” (Y/N) asked. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“There!” (Y/N) smiled. “I sent it.” Warren thanked her and they headed into Chili’s.  

He managed to open the door in time for (Y/N). 

“Oh…” Her eyes shifted to a slight violet hue, the nerves of is this a date or not? Coming back to her. “Thanks…” 

“You’re welcome.”  

The hostess greeted them and asked how many were in their party. 

“Two,” Warren responded. 

“Alright, follow me.” She grabbed two menus and had them follow her to a booth.

“Here you guys are. Your server will be with you soon.” 

“Oh my god, I’m really hungry…” (Y/N) unfolded her menu and buried her nose in it.

“Uh, me too…” Warren browsed his menu.

“Hi, I’m Ariana, I’ll be your server tonight! What can I get you guys started with to drink?”

“I’ll have a Coke Zero,” Warren told her.

“I’ll have a strawberry lemonade,” (Y/N) answered. 

“I’ll get those right out for you.” 

“Thanks!”

She walked off, leaving Warren and (Y/N) alone. 

“Do you know what you’re gonna get?” (Y/N) asked. She was eyeing the nachos and the chicken crispers.

“Uh… Not really…” Warren awkwardly admitted. “The fajitas look good, but that’s a lot of food.” 

“Yeah, they’re good though.” 

Their server came back with their drinks asking if they needed more time to look at the menu. She smiled and said she’d be back. 

“You’ve been here before, right?” (Y/N) asked Warren. She swore he had, but perhaps she was wrong.

“Once, with the guys. We were comforting Peter after another failed Tinder date. I think I got... nachos? I don’t remember.” 

(Y/N) chuckled to herself. “Peter needs to try another dating app.”

“He’s got like three.” 

“Oh, jeez— Jubilee almost downloaded tinder but she doesn’t need it.” 

Warren furrowed his brows, “Huh? Isn’t she into that one dude from Bayville? And Ororo?”

(Y/N) nodded and took a sip of her lemonade. 

Warren jokingly rolled his eyes. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand her.” 

Ariana came back, asking if they were ready to order. 

“Yeah, um, I’ll have the nachos with chicken,” (Y/N) told her. 

“Nachos with chicken,” Ariana repeated. “And you?” She asked Warren.

“I’ll have the Santa Fe chicken salad.”

She wrote it down on a little notepad, “Santa Fe chicken salad. Alrighty! Those will be right out.” 

“Thanks.”

“Thank you.” 

(Y/N) took another sip of her lemonade, letting it fill the silence. 

Warren was suddenly very nervous. “Um…”  “You okay?... Is there something on my face? Do I have lipstick on my teeth?” (Y/N) started to worry. 

“You don’t have any lipstick on…” Warren stated a bit dumbfounded. 

“Oh…” 

“Um, anyway, I um— I like— I want, no. Um, is this— Is this a date?” 

“Um…” (Y/N) froze up for a moment. “You asked me out.” 

“Um, yeah, if you don’t want this to be a date, it like, isn’t then, you know? I mean, I didn’t really specify.”

“I kind of thought this was a date,” (Y/N) admitted.

Kind of… That’s good— Wait. Does she not want this to be a date?

“Do you want this to be a date?” Warren asked.

“Uh, yeah. I wouldn’t mind if it was, but like, we’re just friends so if you didn’t mean for it to be a date then that’s cool. Pretend I didn’t say anything.” 

(Y/N) avoided eye contact as she drank more lemonade, her eyes fully purple.   

“No, no! Um, I do want this to be a date. I um, I really, uh, I really like you.” Warren nervously confessed.

God, I hope I die here, right now, He silently pleaded. 

“Uh, yeah… I like you too… That’s kind of why I’ve been like, hanging out with you, alone, um, a lot…” 

“Me, um— me too.” Warren awkwardly took a sip of his soda. 

“Great.” 

“Great.”

“...”

“...” 

“Are— are we... dating?” Warren asked.

“Uh… I guess so?” (Y/N) wasn’t too sure how to respond, but when she saw Warren’s face fall slightly she quickly changed her words. 

“I mean, I think we are. I hope so. Um—”

“—We’re dating then?” Warren asked.

“We’re dating!” 

“Great!”

“Great!”

Soon as they figured it out, Ariana came in with their food. 

“Alright, I’ve got the Sante Fe chicken salad,” She set the plate in front of Warren. “And the nachos with chicken!” She set that plate in front of (Y/N). 

“Do you guys need anything else?” 

“I think we’re good for now,” Warren told her. “Thanks, though.” 

“Let me know if you need anything!” Ariana left the couple to eat their food. 

“Oh my gosh, yours looks really good,” (Y/N) commented.  

 “You can have some if you want,” Warren offered. 

“Oh, thanks!” 

“Yeah, of course.” 

The conversation died down a bit as Warren and (Y/N) focused on their food, but Warren was internally stressing.

I have no idea what boyfriends do. Am I doing a good job right now? What if she tells Jubilee and then Jubilee murders me because so far I’m a shitty boyfriend? 

Maybe I can hold her hand while we watch The Addams Family… How do I initiate that? What if she doesn’t want to hold my hand? 

Why do I want to hold her hand?... Warren almost visibly shuddered at the feeling of love. Ew… feelings…

Warren snapped back into reality for a moment, watching (Y/N) spill a piece of chicken into her lap. 

“Shoot!” 

Warren didn’t need his eyes to turn pink to show he was awestruck by her. She’s adorable… I’m so lucky to be her boyfriend…

—

Once they had finished, their server Ariana came back asking if they needed to-go boxes and if they wanted the check.

“Do you want it separate or together?” 

“Together,” Warren told her. (Y/N) furrowed her brows for a moment, eyes a bit orange, as Ariana left to go get the check. 

“I’m paying,” Warren stated nonchalantly as he got his card out. 

“Oh, okay.” 

Ariana came back with two to-go boxes and the check. 

Warren handed her his card and she walked away. 

(Y/N) started to put her leftover nachos in her box. Warren scooped his leftover salad into his to-go box. 

“Alright! Here’s your card and receipt,” Ariana handed those to Warren. “Do you guys need anything else?” 

“I think we’re good.” 

“Alright! Have a good night!” 

“You too!”

Warren was figuring out how much to tip. “Is like, $10 good?” 

“What?” (Y/N) asked.

“To tip…?” Warren awkwardly said.

“What’s the total?”

“Uh… $28.76.” 

“Warren, that’s like a 35% tip, right?” (Y/N) asked.

Warren shrugged. “Look, servers don’t get paid enough.” 

“You’re right.” 

Warren finished filling out his receipt, then he looked at (Y/N). “Are you ready to go?” 

“Yep! I’ll get the boxes.” (Y/N) picked hers up and reached over for Warren’s.

“No, I got it. I can carry them.” 

“No, I can carry them,” (Y/N) insisted. 

“I’m your boyfriend, let me carry them,” Warren insisted. 

(Y/N)’s heart did a flip at the fact he said, boyfriend. 

“... Fine…” She let Warren carry the to-go boxes. 

He also managed to open the door for her when they left. 

(Y/N) was still trying to process the fact they were dating. 

What’s the date? I should write it down. So I can remember for our first anniversary! 

Will we last that long?... I hope so… I really like Warren… Maybe I should tell him?

No… That’s kind of embarrassing…

“So…” (Y/N) trailed off.

“Yeah?” Warren asked, eyes on the road.

“I don’t know…” She admitted.

“Oh…” Things were starting to get awkward. Warren didn’t want things to be awkward. Awkwardness would ruin the relationship.

But Warren was bad at small talk. He was bad at socializing, period. And while he had improved, he still got nervous. He hated being nervous— scared. He didn’t want to come off as weak or vulnerable. 

But he didn’t want to come off as scary or cold-hearted either. 

It was a hard scale to balance. 

“Okay, I don’t want to be rude, but who taught you how to drive?” (Y/N) asked.

“Sean…?” Warren stated. 

(Y/N) face practically lit up in realization, “That explains a lot.”

”What do you mean?”

“You were taught how to drive by someone who originally learned how to drive on the other side of the road!”

“That— What does that have to do with my shitty parking?” Warren asked. “I drive on the “right side of the road”. 

(Y/N) laughed. 

“Look,” Warren explained. “If I’m bad at parking that’s on me. The lines caught me!” 

“Haha! Yeah.” (Y/N) laughed. “At least you don’t hit curbs like Jubilee.” 

Warren laughed, “Yeah!” 

“Come on— I want to get good seats!” Warren put the car in park and turned it off. (Y/N) and he both got out and walked towards the theatre. Along the way she (not-so) discreetly slipped her hand into Warren’s. He blushed and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. (Y/N) did her best to not grin her face off. 

Warren had to let go of (Y/N)’s hand momentarily, so he could open the door, causing her to frown a bit and her eyes to go a bit grey. 

This is a crime! I don’t want to let go of his hand!

Warren slipped his hand back into (Y/N)’s once they were inside, and her eyes went back to their “normal” pink shade. 

Warren paid for their tickets and they picked out seats in the back row. They weren’t in the center, but sitting in the back row was best due to Warren’s wings. 

“Auditorium three is on your left!” The ticket ripper told them as she ripped their tickets in half and handed them back. 

“Thanks!... Do you want any snacks?” Warren asked (Y/N) as they passed the concession stand to auditorium three. 

“Nah, I’m not hungry,” (Y/N) said. “You?”

“No, not really.” 

They walked into auditorium three and looked around for their seats. 

“Wow, it’s really crowded,” Warren observed. He was a bit nervous, folding his wings back tightly as he could. 

“Yeah, it’s opening night,” (Y/N) reminded him. “Row G is up this way.”

He was used to the stares for the most part, but he hadn’t been exposed to many kids and soccer moms outside the mansion— not that there exactly were any soccer moms at Xavier’s. 

Luckily, Warren didn’t see anyone glare at him or (Y/N). They both got into their seats without any problem. Their seats were recliners, where if you moved the arm up, you could almost be on top of each other. 

Warren thought this would be perfect for him to maybe wrap his arm around (Y/N), but he was far too nervous. Their hands were still intertwined, which was good enough for him, but Warren was trying with all his might to not have his hand get sweaty. 

That would be so embarrassing…

Once they got situated, and the movie trailers began, (Y/N)’s eyes were focused on the screen. Warren glanced at her for a moment, once the lights dimmed, but his gaze quickly flickered to the screen as to not get caught.

“That movie looks good!” (Y/N) whispered into Warren’s ear. He nodded, not exactly sure what he should respond with. 

Halfway through the film, while Gomez was saying something stupidly romantic to Morticia, Warren did something risky.

Well, not necessarily risky, but if Jubilee or Scott caught him doing it, they’d tease him relentlessly.  

Warren yawned, not very loudly, and then stretched his arm out and over (Y/N)’s shoulders. He fiddled with a leave that dangled from her head. 

His heart was racing. Oh my god, she’s going to think I’m a weirdo. Why did I do that? Who even does the yawn and stretch move anymore? Literally no one!

(Y/N)’s heart started racing when she realized what he had done, Oh my god! Oh my god… This is happening! Oh my god! Just relax, (Y/N), just relax. Be cool. Warren’s cool… he’s being effortless at this “dating” thing… 

They were both too nervous to initiate any further and decided to get reabsorbed in the plot of the movie.

—

As the credits rolled and the lights came back on, Warren and (Y/N) gained space between them awkwardly pretending like nothing happened. 

(Y/N) filled the awkward silence by raving about the film. 

“I loved it! I thought it was so cool, you could see all the family members in the background and like, the backstory they gave them was really creative, and just oh my god the animation style was super neat too! I liked what they did with Ophelia’s design, even though she wasn’t in it very long.”

“Who’s Ophelia?” Warren asked. 

“So she’s Morticia’s sister— they look almost the same, except Morticia is goth and Ophelia is more like me. She has flowers growing on her head and stuff— she was in the background, you probably missed her.”

“That’s cool,” Warren mused. 

“Yeah, she was more in the TV show… What did you think of the movie?” 

“Oh! I thought it was really good! I liked it. The story really, like, reaches out to modern issues and stuff…” 

“Like how everyone was rude to the Addams family because they were gothic and a little different?” (Y/N) asked as she pushed open the door. 

“Yeah. I think if the Addams were real, they’d be mutants,” Warren said as they walked out on to the parking lot.   

“Oh definitely!” (Y/N) agreed. 

Warren smiled as he fished the car keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the car. 

(Y/N) and Warren both got in the car and put on their seat belts. Warren then backed out of the parking lot and made his way onto the main road to drive back to Xavier’s. 

“So uh… Are we gonna, like, tell our friends we’re dating?” (Y/N) asked.

Warren blinked. 

“Yeah? Did you— do you not want to?” Warren felt like he had just seen someone kick a puppy.

“No!— No, I do!” (Y/N) clarified.

Whew!

 “I just— I don’t know how I guess? Jubilee walked in on Jean and Scott making out in her room and then she told everyone and then Scott was all, like, super awkward about it, but then they admitted they were dating.”  

“Sounds stressful,” Warren decided. “We could just like, text the group chat?”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) shrugged. “That works.”

 X-BABES

 (Y/N)

So… Warren and I dating

 Jubilee

Finally!

 Scott

^^lol. Congrats.

 Kurt

Weren’t you already dating?

 (Y/N)

No?...

 Kurt

…

……….

 (Y/N) laughed quietly to herself. 

“What’s up?” Warren asked.

“Kurt thought we were dating this whole time,” She explained.

“Oh… Oh?” 

(Y/N) nodded, “Yeah.” 

“I didn’t— I didn’t tell him anything— that like, wasn’t true. I don’t know why he thought that—”

(Y/N) giggled. “Ren, it’s fine. We’ve shared a bed before— in your guys’ room no less— he’s gonna assume stuff.” 

“Still…” 

“Well, we’re dating now… So, it doesn’t really matter,” (Y/N) pointed out.

Warren couldn’t hide the blush on his face at the fact they were finally dating. He hoped it was too dark for (Y/N) to see it.

“Do I turn left here?” He asked.

“Yeah, then you turn into the gates.” 

Warren did so and drove around the X-Mansion, into the garage.   

“I’ll grab the food and put it in the fridge,” (Y/N) told Warren as he turned the car off. 

“Okay.” 

They both got out of the car— (Y/N) opening the back door to grab the white to-go boxes.

Warren followed her into the mansion. 

They stopped in the kitchen and (Y/N) set the boxes on the counter. “Do you see a sticky note or a pen or something? I need to mark these as ours.” 

“Uh…” Warren looked around the room before spotting a marker. “Here,” He handed it to (Y/N). She scribbled their names down and shoved the leftovers into the fridge.  

 “Now what do you wanna do?” (Y/N) asked Warren.

“Uh… we could um… like, go upstairs maybe?” 

“Do you want to?” She asked.

“I mean if you want to, yeah.” 

“Oh, um, okay.” 

Warren panicked a bit. “If you don’t we don’t have to. We can, like, just kind of chill and see what our friends are doing.” 

“No, no, it’s fine.” 

“Oh, okay.” Warren avoided awkward eye contact as they headed upstairs. 

“We could, um, go to my room…?” (Y/N) offered up. 

“Uh, yeah, that sounds good,” Warren was nervous. He wasn’t sure why— He had no reason to be. He’d been in (Y/N)’s room before. Alone. They’d also spent loads of time together alone doing “couple things” as Scott put it. 

So why was he nervous?

Warren didn’t have time to linger on the thought as he walked into (Y/N)’s room. 

It was a bit cluttered, but he wouldn’t consider it messy. With plants strewn everywhere— floor, walls, ceiling— and some books, posters, and other things you’d expect in (Y/N) and Ororo’s room. 

Ororo wasn’t there though.

“Um, I had a really fun time tonight,” (Y/N) said. Her back was facing Warren for a moment as she doted on a small potted plant. 

“Me too… um… what are you doing tomorrow?” 

“Uh, nothing? I mean Jubilee mentioned going to the skate park tomorrow to take pictures… but she didn’t really say when…” (Y/N) trailed off and turned around to face Warren. 

Their eyes met. (Y/N) stepped forward, towards him.

She glanced at his lips for a moment too long. 

Warren gulped. 

“Can I kiss you…?” (Y/N) murmured. 

Warren’s mouth gaped. “Uh, yeah.” 

(Y/N) leaned in to kiss him, her hands cupping his face. Their lips met. (Y/N) shifted her head a bit as her lips pressed onto his and kissed him. She hooked his bottom lip with her teeth, lightly biting it for a moment. Her hands grabbed the hair near the nape of his neck. 

Warren’s arms were wrapped around her waist, his hands resting on the small of her back. 

(Y/N)’s tongue snuck into his mouth, their lips still pressing together. Warren could feel her smiling. Warren had to break away, for a moment, and regain compulsion. 

(Y/N)’s eyes flashed grey for a split second. She didn’t want to stop. She had become ravenous for Warren’s lips, his tongue… for him in general. It wasn’t exactly a new feeling, but it was foreign, and she liked it.

She blinked. “Sorry, um, I didn’t mean— um, never mind.” 

Warren’s jaw was practically slack. He was speechless. He was not expecting that. At all.

“Warren?” (Y/N) asked. “Are you okay?” 

“What? Yeah, I’m fine!”Warren tried to seem chill.  “I’m fine.” 

“Oh… Well, um, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.” (Y/N) started to worry a bit, thinking maybe she went too far and he didn’t like it.

“I’m— I’m’ not uncomfortable— uh, far from it actually— um, it was, it was really nice, actually.” Warren hoped she wouldn’t look down. 

“Oh, okay. Good.”    

“Um, it’s kind of late—“ 

“—Yeah, definitely.” (Y/N) agreed. 

“You said you were going to… Ulta?... With Jubilee tomorrow?” Warren awkwardly asked.

(Y/N) nodded. 

“Um, I should probably go then… You don’t want to oversleep or anything…” Warren mentally scolded himself for being so awkward. He was usually better than that. 

“Oh, yeah… I’ll see you tomorrow though…” (Y/N) reminded him. “We live here…” 

“Right! Right…” 

“...”

“...” 

“I’m going to go to bed. Goodnight.” Warren quickly kissed (Y/N)’s cheek and headed out the door to his dorm. 

(Y/N) stood there, still processing what just happened. 

“Oh my god… Oh my god! OH MY GOD!” (Y/N) let out. 

She buried her face in her hands. “HOLY SHIT! I like— Oh my god! I did that. I kissed Warren with force and passion and with tongue!” She exclaimed. 

“I kissed my boyfriend with tongue. I cannot believe I did that! Oh my god!” 

Unbeknownst to her, Warren had heard most of her excited screams as he left her room. He was ecstatic by her enthusiasm. 

Warren went down the halls to the boys’ dormitory. Kurt wasn’t in their room, leaving Warren alone. He wanted to be alone. Alone with his thoughts for the first time in a long time. Warren wanted to lay in his bed and have the night’s events replay in his mind as he fell asleep. 

Warren was officially dating (Y/N). 

He didn’t have to assume things, dance on eggshells wondering if he was doing too much, he no longer had to wish he was her, and Warren didn’t have to admire her in secret. 

Warren wanted to text her, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He sighed, and slipped into some pajamas, and brushed his teeth, leaving his phone open. Hoping by some miracle (Y/N) would text first and he could spend the whole night overthinking what to say back. 

(Y/N) hadn’t texted him. 

Warren got under his sheets and settled into bed, lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling. 

He grabbed his phone and decided to text her. 

Warren looked at the last thing (Y/N) had sent him. It was the golden hour selfie they took together in the Chili’s parking lot. 

Warren thought he looked rather silly, but he liked the photo nonetheless. He saved it to his camera roll and turned it into his lock screen background. 

Warren couldn’t take it any longer, despite it only being a few minutes, he decided to text (Y/N). 

 Warren

hi 

 (Y/N)

heyyy I thought u were going to bed *side eye emoji*

Warren

Couldn’t sleep

 (Y/N) 

ohhh

whatcha doing right now?

 Warren

Laying in bed. not much really

 (Y/N) 

lol, me too. I just finished spraying the ivy hanging above my bed and my air plant, Clark

 Warren’s heart swelled and he smiled at (Y/N) being so passionate about her plants. 

 Warren

Is that the one in the llama pot?

 (Y/N)

Yea! he’s grown a lot since I got him *bug-eye emoji*

 Warren

That’s good! :)

 (Y/N) 

Yeah!!! 

I hate to do this but I’m really tired, so I’m going to go to sleep

 Warren

That’s okay!! I’m going to watch some YouTube or something to fall asleep. 

 (Y/N)

Okay

Goodnight! *kissy-face emoji with closed eyes and blush* *smiling and blushing face with closed eyes with three hearts around it*

 Warren

*bug-eyed emoji* night, flower

 Warren set his phone off to the side and shifted to a more comfortable position before drifting off to sleep. 

[thejudgingtrash]

would you class percy as a morally grey character? i’m really interested to hear your input

Anon 2: Would u class percy as an Morally Gray character?

Hey there! Let me write that essay for you about morally gray Percy ^^

It’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s about he has to be otherwise the story doesn’t make any sense. At least for me it wouldn’t.

Ashley (@gr33kg0ds) said in the tags of my dark!Percy post something along the line of people diminishing Percy’s character because they need him to be pure and fluffy and I wholeheartedly agree with that!

Just because Percy’s twelve doesn’t mean he’s pure and didn’t do unproblematic things. I’ll mostly refer to The Lightning Thief because that book is the Magnus Opus for Riordan and perfectly stands for Percy as a morally gray character from the very beginning of the saga. (Also the only book I’ve recently re-read)

As much as I love fanon with all the amazing artworks, debates, memes and jokes, analysis, cool edits and wonderful fanfics, projecting your version of Percy doesn’t make the image in your head real. Percy in canon is not the fun and fluffy boy you imagine him to be or which social media sites (Reddit, Twitter, Instagram and yes, also Tumblr) tend to make him to be. He’s a scrawny little sarcastic twerp that was the unpopular kid. He isn’t that cringy dude Tony Lopez doing that fucking weird TikTok dance (side note: I don’t even know who this person is and I don't care, I saw the video and immediately wanted to delete every social media app on my phone, so thanks Tony?), kissing his Yeezys goodnight, vibing to our lord and gay icon Taylord “T. Swizzle” Swift song and flexing them iPhone 11 Max Pros. Percy literally said that going to Burger King with his mother once in a while would be considered a luxury. He’s a poor bastard in literal sense.

Part of the problem with the distinction of Percy’s character and his motives stem from the fact that Percy is a sneaky unreliable narrator and we as the audience (especially if you’re younger) don’t question most of his behavior if you even question some (pretty sure that most of us only picked up weird stuff as adults). Everything seems plausible to you. But does it mean that his behavior is necessarily good? Something that would paint his character as good?

Like I’ve said, let’s take a look at TLT. The very beginning of everything and the wonderful line that gets quoted everywhere: “Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood”. 

The very first line that quoted everywhere or used as in moodboard and edits but its meaning and significance get brushed off for the most part. It immediately sets the tone and the atmosphere for the book and for Percy as a character. A(n in my opinion) morally gray character. The very first thing we hear from Percy is that he doesn’t want to be in this world. He’s an involuntary participant who has been (upon further reading) blackmailed and forced into this world and is only cooperating to get his mother back and said in regards to his father (who also stands for the Greek pantheon) ”well yeah, would be nice to know about my dad but I’ve survived without him the past twelve years so I don’t know, he wouldn’t be missed necessarily I guess?“ That pretty much tells you, it foreshadows, that we will be dealing with someone with grit, someone that fights back, someone that went through shit, someone that isn’t a goody two-shoed character. Does it mean he’s a terrible (in the sense of evil or bad) character from the get go? Not really, but it tells you in nuances that he won’t be the white shining knight you might expect from a fairy tale.

There is so much that little Perseus Jackson has to offer you directly in the first book. So much that paints him as a morally gray character. From the illegal candy stash all the way to tricking Procrustes into his own trap. He knows right from wrong and isn’t innocent by any means. He wants you to think he’s innocent. Yes, he hunts monsters and the book also tells you that some adults (Gabe) can also be monsters, but Percy’s personality is so interesting and full of facets which I love! He’s misleading you on purpose. Deflects, plays events down. He lies in front of you to others but you don’t really doubt it. Instead of questioning it, you understand it.

What distinguishes Percy from other male protagonists in that notion that the author doesn’t try to paint him as particularly good (the reader connects the dots, in reality) is pretty much that. Percy is neither inherently good or bad. He’s in the middle. He does lots of questionable things and his personality adds to it. Something that immediately comes to my mind is his lack of fear of consequences. He thinks in the short term and not in the long term. Of course, he’s caring about those that are close and important to him (Grover, Annabeth and his mother of course. And well. The world not getting destroyed by his weird father and fucking crazy uncle would be a plus). But Percy isn’t really a strategist (yet). Look at the Medusa head thingy. Annabeth and Grover warn him, that he’s gonna get his ass beat and he doesn’t care. That these gods could squish him in the end didn’t matter to him.

The Olympian gods are painted as these unpenetrable huge mighty force and some fuzzy annoyed twelve year old dipshit sends them the severed head of a monster - but not any monster, the monster his father had a role in creating (well, Athena for the most part, but you know what I mean). (Also, I know this kinda reckless behavior gets sorta rewarded but at first, everyone was like ‘NO, NO, NO!’ before Percy was glorious with his attempt). Percy essentially tells these ancient forces that drive the way of his new cosmos how shit‘s gonna work from now on.

Percy isn’t fear riddled and doesn’t think about the possible outcome. He manipulates, he lies, he persuades and all of this as soon as he hits twelve. But probably earlier. Pretty sure he had to become a believable lier in order to trick (survive being around) Gabe. Perseus is angry, he’s agitated. Had Riordan written Percy as a soft spoken, frightened, goody two-shoed kid, almost nothing in TLT and the follow-ups would have made sense. He’s the outcast, but slowly blossoms into the strength and muscles of the group. Of the entire camp. Someone that outsmarts opponents and wins battles. But he didn’t do that by playing nice and being a bootlicker.

TLT would’ve been a perfect standalone book that would have emphasized that Percy is an involuntary person sive) if you skip Kronos, leave a little bit foreshadowing with the prophecy out, tweak the talks with the gods and Annabeth’s first meeting and skip Luke and the scorpion at the end. The ending would’ve been “and so Percy had a first awesome summer vacation and found a group of friends for life” or so (aka PJO movie 1 in less shitty and more cohesive).

The morally gray character shrinks a little bit in the SOM because there lie straighter dangers ahead which dive more into the bigger picture and Percy grows more into the character who takes care of friends and but he does come back with TTC, and definitely BOTL and the St. Helens explosion.

Consequences of Percy’s interactions had people partially dying. There is doubt, there is guilt. But the show must go on. There are battles that have to be won. There is no big giving up, no big overturn for the bad guys.

Also... isn’t it interesting that we start with Percy saying ”look, I don’t want to be in this world“ in TLT and it ends with TLO where he says ”for once I didn’t look back“? The full circle? The way that accepting his fate took five books? To change Percy from being an involuntary participant to becoming voluntary? He didn’t want to be a half-blood, he didn’t want to be the kid in the prophecy, but he actively chose to be in the end. He went from a darker shade of gray to a mayhaps lighter, if you want to say so.

To conclude, I repeat myself again: it’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s that he has to be.

Thanks for asking me about some meta stuff I really do like diving into these things here and there. Tumblr’s sorta glitchy, I do get notifications but I really don’t see asks, so I’m sorry if my response is mad late ^^

[angeloncewas]

yeah i totally agree with what you said about satire and schlatt basically taking the easy way out. it seems like since that video he's kinda eased back from doing that shit, either bc the backlash or bc his friends have started verbally calling him out on it, both to his face and through making comments about him on stream (comments as in like saying they dont agree with what he did and saying they thought that video was terrible, not like them shading him or whatever ajsksk) which is good but also i wouldnt be surprised if something like that video happened again just bc like. it is his career and at this point he has to know what his larger fanbase is like to an extent, which means he also knows those terrible fucking jokes will make him money. i dont like that, but im also not gonna sit around and pretend like i cant see the fucking obvious, ya know? from what ive seen of him when he's not putting on a show for his main channel, or when he isnt around people who both encourage and enable his bad behavior (not saying this to shift blame, ive just noticed how he goes from making actually funny jokes that are harmless or, at most, a pretty obvious example of him poking fun at shitty people, at least imo, to like. straight up just being offensive when he's with people like swagger, miz, etc. vs ted, charlie and so on), he seems like a pretty good guy and its pretty clear to me that he doesnt hold the same views as the character he plays up for his main channel but that doesnt change the fact that his audience is now full of the worst kinds of people and that is how he makes money.

as someone who, again, watched idubbbz, as well as filthyfrank, they both stated they were playing characters and they didnt agree with the shit they were joking about, joji especially, but them saying that isnt very well known by even their own fanbase who just watches their main channel stuff, bc the one video where joji made that explicitly clear what he was doing, he later deleted for people harassing him in the comments (it was an old ass video where he basically said that playing those characters was giving him literal health problems, specifically stress induced seizures, and his comments were so bad that he never made an ooc video on his main channel again) and the one video i can think of where ian explicitly said he was playing a character was like an hour long podcast with h3, which most people dont even wanna watch bc it is a painfully uncomfortable one hour, considering the fact that they are supposed to be friends. besides that, the only other time they were really out of character was in vlogs with maxmoefoe, and they still did their offensive bits from time to time bc it was still going up on youtube, even if it wasnt their main channel. compare that to schlatt who has, as far as i know, never explicitly said he's playing a character, and the closest he has gotten to saying that was in some weekly slap video that i cant remember the title of bc all those videos kinda blend together if im being honest. like they definitely show a different, better side of him, but they are also all really short videos with only gameplay to watch and he never even promotes the channel, so its not like the shitty people watching him are like "hm time to take some time out of my day to go watch big man schlatt give people advice and be a genuine person for once", right?

idk. schlatt is just such a weird person for me bc like. he is a big comfort for me, i really do enjoy his content when he's not making bad stabs at satire (bc sometimes he does it right!! but a lot of the time, at least recently, he has just missed the mark entirely, to the point where it feels like he wasnt even trying to hit the mark at all), but he is also so uncomfortable to watch sometimes just bc he seems to either not know where the line is, or thinks crossing it is okay bc its him playing a character and that's not fun to watch as a minority who often ends up being apart of that "punchline".

that aside tho...yes, unfortunately idubbbz does still make content (and i say unfortunately bc it is not very good) though it seems like he is very slow to upload and last i checked, the views arent too great, but ive seen worse. probably the only thing that could bring back his views at this point would be a content cop, but like a year or so back he said he has no plans of continuing the series bc he finds it boring now, which is fair enough. i dont really keep up with him anymore, but as far as i know, he just got married to anisa and he streams on twitch sometimes, besides that the dude is a mystery to me!

—🦷 (also im sorry if this is formatted weird, for whatever reason tumblr has indented each of my paragraphs with one of those grey line thingys and it wont let me remove it. if it doesnt show up in the actual ask then ignore this!)

This is kind of old now (sorry), but I still wanted to respond because I really appreciate your perspective :)

> I always wonder how people not involved in the fandom view Schlatt. Because wasn't there this thing about Hasan genuinely thinking that he was conservative? And like he obviously doesn't now, but does that not impact how he sees him and his content? I don't mean to dictate friendships - of course - I'm just curious as to the impact of having that audience from an outsider pov. I remember being shocked what that thing happened with the pdp fan, but I later found that many people weren't because they knew the nature of the audience he cultivated; maybe I'm just stupid, I had no idea. (Not that Schlatt and pdp are the same, it's just a loose comparison.)

> No one should face harassment, but I doubt Joji deleting that video helped his case. (I mean ig it worked out in the long term considering everything that happened with his music, but yk.) I'm very sorry for the health problems he faced with the characters themselves though. I don't know much about him but that sounds awful.

> I have thoughts on The Weekly Slap, but I think they make me sound bitter and don't add much so just know that they're there ajfdkjdf. I will say that he doesn't seem like "Jschlatt" in them, and moreso just a guy. I know that he quit it for a number of reasons and one of them was not being comfortable with that kind of connection in relation to his increasing fame, but honestly I think his complete dislodgement from his fanbase isn't healthy either.

> I mean, I get it. I've watched a lot of content from a lot of people - ranging from kind of unpleasant to very unsavory - and it's kind of a weird feeling with YouTube and Twitch stuff. Idk it's like - when I go to the grocery store, I'm not wondering if the guy checking my things out is a racist. When I see a commercial, I don't wonder if that guy advertising chicken nuggets is a secret creep. But with content creation of this kind, it's just a weird thought in the back of my mind. I don't know if this makes sense lmao

> Weird that Idubbz finds content cop "boring." I guess the formula is kind of stale and half of the content was the edge, but it seems like the kind of thing that'd be perfect to capitalize off of around now. Cool that he got married... I think. I mean if he's happy ???

> Don't mind the formatting, and sorry to respond like WAY past when this conversation was relevant T_T. I read it right away but the timing got off with actually being able to type stuff out.

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

[savnofilter]

ive been getting a lot of hate asks and stuff about my dabi fic posted yesterday and i'd post about it now rather than leave for it later. *here is the comment that was in my fic that made some people upset. it's from the original doc and has now been edited out from the story itself.

when i had written it, it was ONLY in reference to the kink (chikan) itself since it is a popular genre in hentai's/pornos and an actual issue in Japan. "sick obsession" was in reference to the perversion of groping, not the people themselves. just like if i were to write something for ex; america, it would be something like, "america had a sick obsession for teacher and student relationships". the part itself just was not the best way to describe it since i directly am not from Japan. it wasnt meant to say that "japan people are xyz". i do not believe that Japanese people are rapists, and although it came across as that anyways, i do feel sorry about it because it wasnt my intention at all. if you know me, im one of the people who hate any type of stereotypes/jokes about asian people. in me explaining the quote, i am in no way excusing what was written, just explaining what i was thinking when i wrote it. i do now understand that it was insensitive, and it was my fault for even thinking it was a good idea to put in the story in the first place.

it didnt cross my mind that to any reader that it would be offensive and it's ironic considering it placed in anime fic of all places. the line wasnt removed to cover it up, it was deleted because i realized i had fucked up and didnt want anyone else to feel like that reading my story. for that anon and anyone else who took offense to it i am very sorry because i really didnt think it through and there isnt an excuse for it. just poor judgement and writing.

the second issue is that people were saying i condone/support rape now because they think the reader gets assualted in the fic. i do not write rape nor do i condone it. never in the story does reader get raped and i even state that Dabi wouldnt do that to someone (because i believe he wouldnt), especially to someone he does/nt know. in my fics i always make sure to add in that either character x reader know each other and have discussed such kink, and or character gets a definite answer to reader that they (reader) wants it. even if i were to write it, it would be for something plot wise and not just "yes good assualt" and the whole story wouldnt sexualize it. yes it was poor timing, and yes i still believe in everything ive said before and even now.

since we're on the topic of consent fics anyways, i had also freshly started receiving hate about writing dub-con only after i had made a callout post (back in july) and all that jazz. from then, i have even stepped up from my earlier works to put in the tags to make sure that it does not come across someone's dash who doesnt want it. in addition to this, i have used better warnings on my works as well. since i think it's important to discuss it now, i will talk about what i write. 45/55 of the time when i do write dub-con, it isnt for the ✨ kink ✨ or to sexualize the moment. i am embarrassed and ashamed to admit it since i have never talked about my personal life ever on my blog so to open up about this is hard and i dont want people to perceive this as an excuse, just the p.o.v of where i produce my works.

please do not make fun of or mock me, it's hard enough talking about this as is. many events in my life have led to shaping me into thinking/believing that intercourse has to be reluctant at first to really enjoy it. since i also have enough trust issues on my own to physically cope with it, i use writing for it instead. and no, this has nothing to do with aforementioned callout post either. of course i know now from proper treatment and working on myself that sex isnt supposed to be like that but it's just my outlet with getting it out. my issue with people who write non-con/rape have not experienced it or focus it mainly on being assualted just because it makes the story "hot", which doesnt sit right with me. not only this, they do not tag/warn properly either, which i do (explanation in blue).

as a reader i do think you can send me asks like, "hey, i dont like that you did this" because i can always keep that criticism in mind for my later stories. had it been an ask (or asks) that had been genuine concern would have been fine, but the fact that people are sending around a screenshot and jumping to make posts so they can get a chance to bully me again is the same toxicity i was talking about. if you were actual supporters of mine (whether you didnt like what i wrote or not), why was the thought of sending it to people who hate me the first thought to do? were you expecting me to say i didnt do it? unlike most people i can admit to my own wrongdoings.

its the fact that REAL people were offended and you guys are using it for your sad agenda to have everyone hate me. you guys are OBSESSED with stalking me even though you cant stand me. bringing up old callout posts and then trying to shove words into my mouth that arent there show very clearly what yalls true motives are. capitalizing on my mistakes and waiting for moments where i say something you dislike is NOT you playing hero, youre just toxic people waiting for an outlet to abuse someone. stop pretending to care about issues when you dont. any asks/etc related to this that are just straight up hate will not be answered.